Volume26 Issue10

Learning from the best

Award wining actor Nicolas Cage to teach summer session

by JAMIE FINK web editor in chief

page 15

N

icolas Cage set to be college professor. If anyone read those words, most would likely think that the actor was going to star in a new movie where he plays a boring college professor who really is not all that boring. However, that’s is not the case this time.

The Academy Award winner, who many thought was completely ruined when he announced bankruptcy a few years ago, has decided to take a hiatus from the entertainment industry and explore a role in which he has portrayed in his works: teaching college students.

“We are very excited to finally announce the big news to everyone, even to our own theatre students,” Kelly Russell associate professor of theatre said. “Cage is actually a longtime family friend of mine and he had mentioned how he always wanted to teach a class of college students.”

Russell, along with other members of the theatre faculty, have worked vigorously for months in order to make accommodations for Cage to be able to teach at the Island University.

“I believe this will be a very exciting summer for our university,” Alison Frost assistant professor of theatre said. “When Russell informed us of the news we were all a little bit in shock, I mean Nicolas Cage wants to teach our students.”

Because Cage is not retiring from the film industry, he will only be teaching for the Summer II semester.

Cage will be taking the place of Russell teaching the Acting I class.

Acting I class is the primary start for all theatre majors. The course will help students develop basic skills and techniques of acting, including senso-

Anchor’s away for Greek housing at Island University

by JAMIE FINK web editor in chief

A

photo courtesy of WIKIPEDIA.COM

Nicolas Cage is most noted for his performance in “Leaving Los Vegas,” in which he won an Academy Award for Best Actor in a Leading Role.

ry awareness, ensemble performing, character analysis and script analysis.

“Nic, I believe, will help our students develop the four main tools they need for the theatre,” Frost said.

“Emphasis on the mechanics of voice, body, emotion and analysis are exactly what any student, but especially students seeking a career in theatre,

need.”

Because Cage will only be here for one semester and he will only be able to teach one class, the class will be an open registration to students of all majors. However, there is a catch to actually being enrolled in the course. see NIC CAGE on page 9

Island University said to be sinking

Students concerned about doomsday Facebook post

by BREANNE HELAIRE contributing writer

S

ome of the students have been concerned and heard rumors spread via Facebook that Texas A&M University-Corpus Christi is sinking.

The fears arose after Island University student Vincent McCall posted this: “So the island is sinking?

It is soon about to be gone?

Yes, everything we know, will now become part of the pond.

So as the water will rise, do not be taken by surprise.

We shall know in advance, and prepare for evacuation plans.

Have we not realized the weather,

that come out of the blue?

Excess rain, and temperatures too.

So now that the damage has been done, it’s time to say goodbye.

To Corpus Christi, to the Island, the UC...oh wait, no.

It is not open until July.

So hear us now, as we warn you today.

The Island is sinking, due to flooding from rain.”

The Island is sinking? This would be of great surprise and tragedy too, and Island Waves has been assured there is nothing anyone can do.

Student Erra Reed said she noticed the excessive rain. She said Corpus Christi may not stay in a drought this year, so that could only mean one thing.

“The Island will flood, I’m telling you,” Reed said. “Yeah, we’re right by the ocean, so we pick up a lot of rain, but not like lately. Eventually this whole place will be washed out and covered. So I guess that means I’m transferring.”

Jazmine Lyles said her greatest upset is the UC will have yet to open before it is washed away. “ Man, the UC is suppose to open in July, at this point though, it probably waiting open till August,” Lyles said. “I haven’t even gotten to enjoy it. New food, new design, all washed away with the water.”

few weeks ago, readers may recall the article regarding the lack of Greek housing at Texas A&M University-Corpus Christi. Dr. Flavius Killebrew had mentioned that he believed none of the fraternities and sororities had enough money to purchase Greek housing on or off-campus. However, that is not the case and as of the Fall semester 2015 the Island University will have new Greek housing.

Several Greek organizations have been secretly working for several years now to obtain housing. They knew the likelihood of obtaining oncampus housing would be little to none. But being close to campus was the number one priority.

“If you look at the housing market in Corpus Christi there are a lot of nice houses for sale,” Michael Gandara, Interfraternity Council Executive Board President. “Unfortunately for our groups none of the houses are big enough to house even a third of our members.”

Gandara went on to say that even the houses they found that were big enough to suit the organizations, there still were not enough houses for the groups who were involved with getting housing.

After years of struggling to find the correct housing, the wheels finally clicked, and Greek life has found their new housing. As of the fall semester of 2015, Greek life will now have new housing out in Oso Bay. see GREEK HOUSEBOATS on page 3

see SINKING UNIVERSITY on page 3

INDEX OPINION 2 | NEWS 3-5 CAMPUS 6-8 ENTERTAINMENT 9-11 | FEATURES 12-13 | SPORTS 14-15

VOLUME 26, ISSUE 10

2

opinion

04.02.2015

ISLAND WAVES

s m

a student publication of

Texas A&M University-Corpus Christi

island waves staff CONNER TICHOTA editor-in-chief

JAMIE FINK

web editor-in-chief

AMBER QUAID

a e

managing editor

KELSEY FLORES copy editor

JUSTIN VU NGUYEN

advertising assistant

LUIS GOMEZ

advertising assistant

r D

THI NGUYEN

layout assistant

KARA HERRERA layout assistant

STERLEN KEMP news reporter

GERI LEMMONS

features reporter

TREY SEAL

entertainment reporter

JEREMY PAPE

sports reporter

ELI T. BERKE

photographer

MARK MARTINEZ

distribution manager

WENDY MOORE faculty adviser

AMY KOTULSKI staff adviser

JESSE DE LEON

graduate adviser

contact us 6300 Ocean Drive Unit 5783 Corpus Christi, TX 78412 (361) 825-5862

Dreams meet their final destination

by Jesse De Leon write us a letter The Island Waves accepts letters no longer than 250 words.

Letters are subject to editing. Send letters to the editor via email at editor@tamucc.edu.

about island waves The Island Waves is a student-produced publication at Texas A&M University-Corpus Christi. The newspaper is printed weekly, except during summer sessions.

Since A&M- Corpus Christi has no journalism department, Island Waves is supported by student fees and advertising sales.

Any student or University employee may submit material for publication consideration. To become a contributor, e-mail or call the Island Waves editor.

Graduate Advisor

I

t is no secret that the campus at Texas A&M University-Corpus Christi is currently a work-in-progress. However, in the wake of the UC’s, or University Center’s formidable upgrade, one of the campus’ most essential points of interest has added something special to its long list of amenities. The newly carpeted floors, the ornate light fixtures and the high ceilings notwithstanding, the UC is now equipped with a facility that is as surprising as it is essential for every student’s academic success.

The new University Center now features an expansive underground morgue where students can visit, either alone or with a small group of peers, to contemplate the surprising number of wayward dreams that have been holding them back. In the darkly lit, shadowy hallways and unusually cold sitting areas, students can actually rid themselves of useless, distracting and often misguided dreams once and for all. That is because this newly designed morgue is not a resting place for physical bodies that have run their course, but for dreams that have absolutely no place in the lives of students aspiring for higher academic pursuits.

“This is an idea that has been, you could say, a quiet, almost ghostly revolution,” said Hal O. Graves, the morgue’s chief designer. “So many times we are held back by our own pithy, unrealistic dreams that we end up thinking that we should

follow them only to learn that there is nothing at the end of that path.”

So what does this morgue allow students to do?

“It creates a place where you can purge your psyche, so to speak, of anything that will stand in the way of your best and most fulfilling academic performance,” said Graves. “Thoughts of old boyfriends and girlfriends are the most common broken dreams that we find a final resting place here, but also delusions of grandeur, hopes of learning to fly without being on a plane, and accepting an Academy Award are all here and more to come, with out a doubt.”

Cindy Goodacre’s dream of designing a city in which everyone eats organic food and lives within their means has held her back from a promising career in pubic affairs.

“I just want the whole world to be clean and get along,” she said. “But my dream of that utopia, a very clean one, prevents me from seeing the reality of the world that I will eventually work in, so here I am, casting off my really, really clean dream.”

Al Timiter, a mechanical engineering

student, has been obsessed with developing a motorized paper plane that can be build from regular notebook paper.

It has been a dream of his ever since he was ridiculed in elementary school for being the slowest kid on the soccer team. His dreams of flight and escape always seemed to gravitate toward that motorized paper plane, but now it stands in the way of his studies that will lead him to work on the engines of real planes.

“I was so up high in the sky on in that thin paper cockpit that I never thought anything could tear it,” said Timiter. “But when the realities of school ripped up everything, I knew it was a dream that I couldn’t keep anymore, no matter how torn and tattered it was.”

Goodare and Timiter are just two of the many students who have not only excised needless, often misguided dreams that have in turn misguided them, but the University Center’s newly constructed underground morgue has already begun to serve its purpose by providing comfort to students brave enough to close unnecessary chapters in their lives and begin writing new, more fulfilling ones.

“I was so up high in the sky on in that thin paper cockpit that I never thought anything could tear it.”

- Al Timiter, mechanical engineering student,

3

news

04.02.2015

ISLAND WAVES

photo illustration by CONNER TICHOTA

Potential building sites for the Greek Houseboat Project have already been staked out on campus.

GREEK HOUSEBOAT continued from page 1 Yes, that is correct, Greek life has received the approval from their national chapters to have the first ever Greek houseboats.

“We have at least six Greek chapters who are interested in obtaining housing, and I feel that this is going to be a very exciting time for our Greek life,” Anna Whisenhunt said. “We are going to be the only university in the country to be both on its own island and to have Greek houseboats.”

The Greek houseboat community will consist of a 20 marina that will be attached to the west side of the island behind Chapman Field. The marina, which is yet to be named, will enhance the recreational nature of the bay and create an exciting environment with numerous opportunities for Greek students.

“The Greek Houseboat Project will kick off in May 2015 after the spring semester has ended,” Gandara said. “We have been in constant communication with our national chapters as this is something that has

never been done before, and both are excited to see the outcome of project.”

The project will be separated by month into specific phases. The houseboats once placed into the marina will not be able to leave the marina unless otherwise ordered to after approval from the university.

“When we first announced to our members that this was our plan and it had been approved they were a little skeptical of how it would work living on a boat,” Whisenhunt said.

“We are really looking forward to taking advantage of the space our university has and by moving out onto the bay, we are saving space on and off-campus for future academic buildings.”

Whisenhunt and Gandara’s first priority was to ensure that the university was on-board with their decisions and how they wanted to not affect the academic space on the Island University.

The houseboats that the Greek organizations have bought are all

SINKING UNIVERSITY continued from page 1 Reed and Lyles have provided the general insight and concerns for their student body. They both stated, the concern began on the social media platform a few weeks back. From their the matter has only gotten worse.

“It’s so bad that I’m planning to transfer to college station. I’ve already applied,” Lyles said.

Reed added that she’s never seen so many people act in a frantic manner.

“I think my advisors office has been packed since the news spread,” she said.

In speaking with counselor Zane Rolito, he explained that the students have been asking about the transfer process nonstop.

“I don’t know where the rumor began, who took it out of context and why students are taking it so seriously, but they are,” Rolito siad. “The island is so say to soon be covered with water, and many students have prepared a back up plan and are leaving.”

Rolito also said that if the island is sinking, it is not because it is going to be underwater, but because the university enrollment is plummeting.

With the concerns filling the campus, it is important to understand how the context of something can change over time. What has now created complexities, stemmed from a simple tweet that turned into a viral rumor.

Though McCall’s, original post was not to send the message that the University would soon be submerged in water, that is how the students of Texas A&M University-Corpus Christi perceived it. This shows, how word of mouth and social media do not always provide fact, but often times can create false rumors. People cannot always believe everything they hear, and base their decisions off of that.

Few students of the Island University are still concerned with the rumor. Though some are still fearful of the possible flooding and making plans to transfer, others understand how messages can be taken out of context and are not paying it any mind. The viral rumor has run its course and things are getting back to normal.

made and supplied from the same manufacturer. The houses will all be three stories and feature slides and diving boards. The groups look to make full use of Oso Bay by helping increase the activity out on the bay.

“We have worked extremely hard on this project for many years and now our hard work is finally paying off for everyone,” Gandara said. “Who knows maybe after students start

hearing about this, our Greek life will have to build a second marina and purchase 20 more houseboats, that’s the ultimate goal.” “”Hopefully this will be good for both our Greek life and our university,” Whisenhunt said. “This university deserves good publicity and I feel this is the best way we can do that. Who knows maybe they will even make a movie about it someday.”

4

news

04.02.2015

ISLAND WAVES

George, Unicorn of Boredom is urban legend at Island University

illustration courtesy of PAM SCHMIDT

Island Waves asked Pam Schmidt to recreate a sketch, seen above, of George, The Unicorn of Boredom.

by CONNER TICHOTA editor in chief

H

e has been spotted in the margins of students’ spirals at Texas A&M University-Corpus Christi. He has been caught lingering on the bulletin boards. Recently, he appeared in full glory on the whiteboard of Bay Hall’s third floor conference room. He is known by only one name: George, The Unicorn of Boredom.

Though little is known about George, it is rumored he appears only when summoned by a student, faculty or staff member in dire need of some entertainment.

“I used to have Texas Government from 2 p.m. until 3:15 p.m.,” junior kinesiology major Pam Schmidt said.

“Sometimes when I would get really bored and start doodling. I would pray that something would come and take the boredom away.”

Schmidt said she would typically draw her favorite anime characters.

But on a few rare occasions, she would feel the strange urge to draw something else.

“I don’t know why or how, but I would want to draw unicorns,” Schmidt said. “And not just any unicorn…they all turned out the same.”

The unicorn Schmidt described was a stick like creature. It has no maine and the ears were exaggerated like a mule’s. She said in a few of the drawings, the creature was even cross-eyed with a small pink tongue poking out.

Schmidt’s story and the description she gave of the drawing matched other students’ accounts. Freshman biomedical science major Jon Jance said he too had a similar experience.

Jance said he was sitting in his chemistry class when he encountered The Unicorn of Boredom.

“We were going over cell mitosis, which is something I learned back in high school,” Jance said. “I’m not going to lie. There was a period

where I stopped taking notes and just started staring at the screen. Then my eyes started doing something trippy.”

Jance continued to say that the cellular models in the professor’s power point began to look more and more like a horse the longer he stared at them.

“It started to look like one of those optical illusion images they show you as a kid,” Jance said. “I nudged my friend and asked him if he noticed it too. He brushed me off and told me ‘whatever’.”

Jance said he then decided to try taking notes again, that is until he realized the illusion was far from over.

“I started to take notes again just to distract myself,” Jance said. “I looked up at the next slide and it seemed perfectly normal. Then I looked back down at my notes. I don’t remember writing it, but the last line said ‘It’s me. It’s George.’”

Jance described a much darker version of this urban legend than

what Schmidt described.

“I swear its eyes were glowing,” Jance said.

Jance’s encounter is on of the only recorded instance of this creature being given a name.

Schmidt attempted to show Island Waves the drawings she had done.

However, any resemblance of the unicorn had disappeared and only the previous drawings remained.

Island Waves had a similar experience with George.

On Wednesday March 11, upon entering the weekly budget meeting, Island Waves discovered a full drawing of the creature on the whiteboard in the Bay Hall Conference Room 359. Underneath the drawing it read, “George: The Unicorn of Boredom.”

No one has stepped forward and claimed the drawing.

If anyone have ever spotted George, let Island Waves know at editor@ tamucc.edu

5

news

04.02.2015

ISLAND WAVES

Pinwheel of death:

photo illustrations by AMBER QUAID

ISIS tool for recruitment

by AMBER QUAID managing editor

A

report released by Kasperkey, a leading anti-threat intelligence company that leads in research and innovation, internally and externally, for cyber threats, has stated that an unknown number of iMac, iPod, iPhone and iPad’s could be infected by what is known as the pinwheel of death. The report states that iMac’s pinwheel of death causes hypnotic rages in students and that their best guess is that 53 percent of those devices have been infected (this is not a confirmed number as of yet).

For those who do not know what the Mac’s pinwheel of death is, let’s compare it to the hourglass on a PC, that slow turning icon to let users know the machine is processing in the Mac version it is a pinwheel.

Mac users have often wondered to the pinwheel’s long duration and Kasperkey says it is linked to student recruitment for ISIS. ISIS initially tried to use the hourglass on PCs but do to the mass amount of data attached to it the hourglass the computer would move too slow or the entire system would freeze. This failure for hypnotic

completion caused ISIS to try a different venue and found success with the pinwheel on the Mac’s.

The pinwheel is a malicious worm developed by ISIS that infects the iOS causing the pinwheel to have a hypnotic effect.

“The hypnotic state seems to most affective on sociology majors and blondes,” said Tom Brown, antiterrorist pinwheel expert, “but one in three students are susceptible to the hypnotic effects of the pinwheel.”

The first sign that the pinwheel has affected a user is a sudden rage or aggravation. This causes some users to go into what is known as a hypnotic rage, where they yell at the screen and try to shake it. Some users just stare at the screen with anger and internally yelling. If this is witnessed, be advised to take caution.

The second stage that the hypnosis for ISIS recruitment is working is a sudden pacing to and from the computer screen. The user will stand

up from their seat and pace back and forth saying, just give it time.

If a user is affected in this manner call security, the University Police Department, or the local authorities for assistance.

The third and final stage of this hypnotic process is when the user turns off the computer in an attempt to “restart” it. This restart allows the computer to send a signal to ISIS to alert them to the new recruits’ location.

Also the restart allows the hypnosis to take root in the brain causing the user to appear to be “brain dead” or having a lowered ability to think. If this stage is witnessed, be advised to call all government agencies with a level four breach.

“If a level four breach is witnessed the area should be evacuated immediately,” said Eric Rodriguez, local coffee shop

“The hypnotic state seems to most affective on sociology majors and blondes.”

- Tom Brown, anti-terrorist pinwheel expert

customer, “as I’ve seen whole rooms be infected by this hypnosis.”

Do not try to apprehend the user as they have now been hypnotically programmed to defend themselves at all cost.

There have been some advances to counter the effect of the pinwheel such as placing a caffeinated beverage and/or sweet treat near the user for consumption, talking to the user about a party or nonstressful event that promises “fun.”

If these tactics are tried and failed please contact the local authorities for assistance.

Government officials have found links to the pinwheel that have also caused bad debit and excessive alcohol consumption. They suggest that all Mac users switch to PCs until the issue is resolved for the safety of every American. For more information about ISIS’s connection to the pinwheel go online to www. pinwheelofdeath.com or call 1-800PINWHEEL (746-94335).

6

campus

04.02.2015

ISLAND WAVES

Friendly cats or alien masterminds

by GERI LEMMONS features reporter

H

ere at Texas A&M UniversityCorpus Christi it is known not only for its great programs but also its abundance of cats. They are in front of the libraries, in the parking garages, and even near Starbucks. With so many cats there must be a reason why they are all here. That answer would be alien domination.

There have been sightings of cats with glowing eyes, secret meetings among cats speaking a different language, and cats trying to pull students into a beaming white light at night.

“I was walking to my dorm room late one day from the library and I saw a cat with glowing green eyes,” saidAmanda Lynn a physiology major .

“I think that the cat was trying to bring me to this white light and then as soon as it saw another student it just ran off. It was all just so odd and I couldn’t believe what I just witnessed.”

“After my last class at 6:45,” Sam Thorn freshman science major said, “I passed a group of cats who were all speaking different languages and were acting very suspicious near cat alley. I had never seen anything like that in my whole life. I felt like they were talking about me.”

With the school having so many cats it is hard to say which cats are harmless and which ones are here to cause some serious damage. Some are saying that the cats are multiplying because they are planning on taking over the university in the near future.

After they take over the university their plans are then to focus on the state of Texas and then the world.

They plan on using the students and faculty as their henchman and

photo courtesy of PIXABAY.COM

One of the suspected alien cats that abduct students.

personal servants.

To help with spotting these aliens dressed up as cats there needs to be some helpful tips and things to look for when seeing the many cats around the university such as really listening to some of the cats as people walk by and noticing when they hang out in large groups.

It is important to keep this university safe and to be able to fight against these creatures that are here to supposedly spy on everyone. These aliens have been known to be very

vicious and do not like to be petted.

They tend to stick together in large groups and stay near C.A.S.A. With this information students and faculty, should look upon these furry little creatures and see them for who they really are.

An alien abduction could be right around the corner if the university is not careful. With all of this new information people are now more informed on the seemingly welcoming friends who are never far away.

It is important for everyone now

to look out for each other and to band together in this time of possible war.

With so many cats on this campus they may have all banded together already and are plotting to take one human at a time to their space ship.

To fight them people need to call them out for who they really are and tell them that people know their secret and are ready for them when they attack. This will be the only way to keep not only the university safe, but also the great planet.

according to sources in the attendance office, but still looks like a freshman. He comes back every so often to brush up on some of his skills to stay current and not get noticed due to outdated techniques.

He has kept a low profile and is said to be really harmless around people.

“He seems to be a nice guy. I only really see him in the wintertime and I haven’t felt unsafe sitting around him,” Olivia Cain freshman english major said. “I think that he might be one of those vegan vampires, I think he only drinks the blood of animals not humans.”

This student has been reported as being harmless and has gone undetected for a many years.

Animals around the area have been reported to be missing during the wintertime, according to students. In the cooler months is around the time the suspected vampire tends to appear more frequently.

He seems to be full of energy and seems to be in class a lot more when the sun is not out and the weather gets colder.

Some other sources say that they have seen a man that seems to be be shiny or sparkles and this has become a big topic on social media. Wearing black clothes that cover up his whole body seems to be his daily look.

He may come to class during the day but people usually see him running, riding a skateboard, or riding a bike to get out of the sun as fast as possible. He tries to be as discrete as possible so it might take a while to notice this very young looking student who blends into the crowd easily.

Students may notice that in the background of some of

the oldest pictures, here at the university, has this common student in every picture. People never questioned it before but are beginning to realize that this student seems to never graduate.

They have also started to notice this student only takes night class and does not show up for his morning classes that much during the Spring semester.

People at the university should not feel alarmed by this student.

There has not been evidence showing that this student poses any issue and should accept that Texas A&M University-Corpus Christi has a very diverse campus.

This student could posses so much knowledge about the university and can actually be great addition to the campus.

Having a vampire at A&M – Corpus Christi can be a great addition to this school and can help students and faculty whenever there are too many pesky animals running around.

Keep an eye out for this student and say hello.

Student friendly vampire

by GERI LEMMONS features reporter

A

s new students come here to the university it is hard to spot anyone who would be out of the ordinary. Someone would think that it would be hard to find a student who never ages, has sparkling skin in the sun and has a thirst for blood. Someone may be thinking this type of student is not at this school, better yet, that type of human does not exist. Well, it turns out that there is an actual student here who appears to fit that type and this person has been living right under people’s noses this whole time.

“I’ve seen this student before, he only come to class when the sun isn’t out and I haven’t seen them eat anything this whole year so far,” Bock Lee senior kinesiology major said. “He is really pale and always seems to be uncomfortable whenever he sits next to anyone in class.”

He has said to have been going to this school for the past 20 years,

7

campus

04.02.2015

ISLAND WAVES

Students open

secret underground

photo by TREY SEAL

The beach side entrance to the underground hangout. The inside of the space which contains contaminated water and various varmint. (photo courtesy of Sewerhistory.org)

sewer club

by TREY SEAL entertainment reporter

W

hat is a person to do if they find an open manhole? If they were logical, they would ignore it and go about their day, luckily for him and his friends, Sam Smith does not know the meaning of the word.

“I was just like [sic] walking along the beach one day man and then I like saw this open sewer entrance and then I like called my bro up and was like, we should totally open a club.”

Smith said.

Smith did just that when he opened up Warp Zone, the worlds first club that is located entirely in a sewer filled with hazardous waste.

“It’s pretty dope”, said Rich Van Cleave, a friend of Smith’s. “One day we were like totally partying down there and my friend Dave started screaming, everyone was like freaking out at first because he was totally killing the vibe but then I turned on my iPhone’s flashlight and he totally grew a third arm which he proceeded to fist bump me with, totally had to be one of the most dope things I’ve ever seen.”

School officials are not happy with the recent developments. One higher official who requested to remain anonymous said that there is talking of ceiling the manhole with a cement cover.

“There are all sorts of diseases in sewers and these students have not taken the necessary precautions to

clean the place out, it’s like they just took a keg, a table, and some stools down there and called it a day. The place is filthy and unsanitary and they should probably get themselves tested for various infections.” the official said.

“Those old geezers are always trying to ruin our fun”, said Smith.

“So what if I get hepatitis A or Leptospirosis, I know the risks man and that’s like my second amendment right if I want to risk receiving them.” he said.

The patrons of the club appear to be exclusively male according to various interviews from around campus.

“Like, why would I want to hang out in a sewer; if I wanted to do that, I could go to Club Toxic.” said Sadie Morris, a freshman biology major.

Smith confirmed just that when he explained the girl to guy ratio in our interview.

“I’d have to say that for every like fifty guys that show up, there’s at least one girl,” Smith said. “We’ve had about fifty guys come by since we opened about a month ago and that one chick still hasn’t come back.”

Smith and his friends are currently looking into sponsorship from various companies including Red Bull, Monster and NOS who are all famous for sponsoring college events.

“I see a lot of potential in this place, it’s got such a unique look, smell, and feel. I’ve honestly never

seen anything like it, it just embodies that natural vibe that seems to be so popular nowadays.” said Red Bull representative, Robert Jackson.

With the division between the school and this particularly small group of students existing, many are worried about the future of this underground hang out. Sam Smith still feels that there is no reason for concern.

“Look bro, my dads a lawyer and he’s totally on my side with this,” Smith said. “He was like, ‘Sam, they can’t take away what you love, because that doesn’t fly in our family’ and I was like, ‘You rock dad, like for reals’.” Smith said.

As the old saying goes, “one mans trash is another mans treasure.”

SPECIAL THANKS TO OUR ACHIEVE PARTNER

To learn more or become an Achieve Partner please visit achievepartnership.tamucc.edu

8

entertainment

04.02.2015

ISLAND WAVES

‘The World’s Loneliest Whale’ spotted at Island University

Spring Break 2015 at Texas A&M University-Corpus Christi was the first time “The World’s Loneliest Whale” has ever been seen.

by STERLEN KEMP news reporter

O

ver Spring Break, students said that they witnessed the appearance of the infamous “loneliest whale in the world” near the coast of Ward Island, which Texas A&M University-Corpus Christi sits on.

“I was driving home and all of a sudden I saw this massive big, blue thing come out of the water,” said

Johnny John, president of the All Things Whale Club. “I instantly knew it was the ‘loneliest whale in the world’.”

The loneliest whale in the world, which likes to go by the name William, has been a subject of conversation since the late ‘80s. He was discovered by researchers who happened to pick up on the frequency of his voice during naval research.

They found that the frequency of this

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Feb. 25, 2015

particular whale was much higher than the average blue whale, making him easier to track.

While William swam across the coast of the Island, news reporters from Island Waves were able to interview the world-renowned whale. Dori, known for her role in the critically acclaimed film “Finding Nemo” helped translate during the interview.

“I have no idea how I ended up here,” said William, the world’s loneliest whale. “I was on my way to Cancun for Spring Break but I somehow landed here. Is this the right direction?”

Researchers and whale enthusiasts flocked to the coast, in hopes of getting a glimpse of the world’s most popular lonely whale. Up until this point, no one has been able to see this whale in person. Many were shocked that a whale would even appear in Corpus Christi.

The appearance of William even brought the mayor of Corpus Christi out to share in the festivities.

“This is a total shock to me,” said Mayor Nelda Martinez, mayor of Corpus Christi. “I am actually at a loss for words. I didn’t even know whales could speak.”

William’s appearance has brought many to question what they believe.

Some speculate that William may be a Russian spy sent to collect top secret information, while others like to believe that he is simply a nomadic,

photo illustrion by THI NYGUEN

gentle giant who is looking for someone to call a friend.

“The idea that I may be a spy is ridiculous,” William said. “I’m not a spy. I’m just trying to find a friend in this vast, big ocean.”

Scientist and researchers believe that William may have been in complete isolation since he was a young blue whale. They think that the frequency of his voice is too high for other blue whales to understand causing complete and utter isolation and loneliest.

Recently, a Kickstarter campaign was started by lead actor of the hit show, “Entourage,” Adrian Grenier and filmmaker Josh Zemen to help fund research that would help track down the world’s loneliest whale.

Their hope is that once they find the whale, they could help William find a friend.

“I appreciate everyone’s concern in trying to help me,” William said. “But I’m starting to like having this big ocean to myself.” “Yes, a friend would be nice, but I’ve become comfortable with being alone.”

Soon after the interview, William swam away into the sunset with crowds of hands waving in the air as a gesture of goodwill and hope. All those who stood on the shore to wish William a farewell journey still believe that there is hope for William. Hope that one day, the “world’s loneliest whale” will find a companion that could hear his unique song.

(H-E-B School of Business programs only)

International Conference Center Auditorium 847 E. Hildebrand San Antonio, Texas 78212 Interested students can RSVP online at www.uiw.edu/gradstudiesrsvp or call (210) 829-6005.

OFFICE of RESEARCH & GRADUATE STUDIES

photo courtesy of EARTHSKY.ORG

The “loneliest whale in the world” can been seen in this picture off of the coast of the Island University.

9

entertainment

04.02.2015

ISLAND WAVES

NIC CAGE continued from page 1 Instead of being in a first come, first serve basis the Island University will be conducting it’s first ever lottery enrollment system. There will be no maximum capacity for the number of students who can enroll in the course.

Registration for this course will only be available in-person on April 10 and will close at 5 p.m. Once the registration period has ended, only a mere 25 students will be selected at random to be a part of the class.

“It is really unfortunate that only a

small number of students will be able to be a part of the class, but when someone as famous as Cage teaches a class of college students there will be a lot of buzz among students to try and get into the class,” Russell said.

Russell and Frost encourage every student to attend the registration day as something like this may never happen at the Island University again.

They also were able to ensure that no students, including upperclassmen theatre students, will receive any special treatment when it comes

Cage was recently cast in the most recent movie titled “Outcast.”

time for students to be selected.

“Although, it would be best for us to put only theatre students in the class, we want students from all majors to be able to have the chance of experiencing a once in a lifetime opportunity,” Russell said.

For the lucky 25 students who have been selected, they will receive a special e-mail for the university regarding the date and time for a mandatory meeting that will explain how the class will run and what behavior and professionalism

is expected of each student. The location and times of the class will not be made public for the sake of both Cage and the students who were selected in order for the most opportune learning environment.

Please note that entering the lottery registration system does not guarantee that students will receive a spot in the class, and they will only be notified in the event that they are chosen.

photos courtesy of BLASTR.COM

Cage will put on stage a 45 minute excerpt from a movie he directed in 2002 called “Sonny.” photo courtesy of TVGUIDE.COM

10

entertainment

04.02.2015

Marvel expands into new territory

ISLAND WAVES

by TREY SEAL entertainment reporter

where Guy Fieri was covering a local hamburger shop in Los Angeles, California,when Robert Downey Jr. crashed outside the building clad in Iron Man gear where he pushed Mr. Fieri to safety while fighting off an alien invasion.

It was a television spectacle that set the Internet ablaze with debate about whether the event was canonical or not (meaning an official part of the story). In a press conference on March 20, Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige brushed away the debate by confirming that it is all part of their new initiative to deliver more content to fans than ever before.

The list of participants in the new Marvel Universe is being kept heavily under wraps but Feige says that it could happen anywhere, so be on alert.

“One day, you might be watching CNN and then next thing you know, Chris Evans (the actor who plays Captain America) is being interviewed

W

ith the massive success of Marvel’s Cinematic Universe (known as the MCU for short), fans around the globe cannot get enough comic book movies. With a rate of about two superhero movies a year in addition to ongoing TV series (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D and Agent Peggy Carter), parent company Disney is already exceeding the release date of just about any other franchise in Hollywood.

Needless to say, their massive fan bases’ appetite cannot be realistically satiated by one single company.

In order to remedy that, Disney has launched an unprecedented initiative with the now rebranded “Marvel Universe.” Audiences received their first taste of what is to come when watching a recent episode of “Diner’s Drive-ins and Dives” on Food Network (parent company, Scripps Network Interactive). In the episode

on the show but it’s not Chris Evans being himself but playing the character of Captain America. Missing that interview may make you miss out on some major information about the state of the MU,” Feige said.

It is not limited to television either, the floodgates have been opened and now in addition to their trademark comic books, a wide variety of traditional novels, movies, video games and even educational programming are now official parts of the Marvel Universe.

“I’ve been really getting into All My Children lately”, Feige said at the press conference in reference to the popular ABC (owned by Marvel parent company, Disney) soap opera that has been running for over four decades now.

The next day saw the popular soap receiving its highest ratings yet and fans were satisfied to see that their efforts were not in vain when character Bruce Banner appeared on the

show, though he did not turn into “The Incredible Hulk,” at least not yet.

It is lead to the hashtag “#HULKOUT” becoming the top trending topic on Twitter showing just how much excitement is brewing in the community.

With the Marvel films already being the most ambitious movie franchise in history, one has to ask: “how much is too much?” Fans have answered and the overwhelming response appears to be that there can never be too much of a good thing.

“I already sit at home: eat, breathe, and sleep Marvel anyway” said Rick Davis, an A&M senior and self-proclaimed hermit. “More of my favorite heroes being spread across different mediums and shows means that I get to enjoy more stories and I get to financially support a corporation with my hard earned money; who could ask for more?” Davis said.

One thing is certain, the entertainment industry will certainly be a spectacle in the months to come.

Islander Tribute Islander Tribute Tuesday, April 7 • 6:00 p.m.

O’Connor Building Conference Room 135

Please join the campus community in honoring our fellow Islanders who will never be forgotten.

Tuesday, April 8 • 6:00 p.m.

O’Connor Building S G A Conference Room 135 Hosted by: S

A s s o c i at i o n

n

t

tud

ti

University–Corp us &M Ch sA ris xa ov Te ent G ernme

&

Please join the campus community in honoring our fellow Islanders who will never be forgotten.

For more information or if you need disability related accommodations, please contact SGA at sga.president@tamucc.edu or 825-5745.

11

entertainment

04.02.2015

ISLAND WAVES

Kayne’s ego makes him leader of the village

by JESSE DE LEON graduate adviser

K

anye West’s ego is big. In fact, it has grown so much in the last few months that the artist admits that he can hardly attempt to compose any new music because his mind is constantly overtaken with thoughts of himself.

He lauds his own inflated sense of importance so much that he has found it hard to work with collaborators who can coexist with his shell game of “I-may-have-musical-talent-or-Ijust-have-great-PR-people”.

So he had to align himself with musicians who barely care if he is in the room. The first person who fit that description was Rihanna. Her unusually powerful combination of sexy and swagger wrapped up in a see-through dress of confidence qualifies her to work with Kanye, not because they are musically compatible, but because they are so mind-numbingly self-absorbed that they barely care about anyone else but themselves.

But it was Kanye’s slipshod hack-as-faux-genius that not only roped in Rihanna for their hit “Four Five Seconds,” but he was also to inexplicably snag the musical support

of Paul McCartney.

Sure, it may have returned the knighted ex-Beatle to the top 10 since after a nearly 30-year absence, but he still had to share the credit with Kanye. Needless to say, the three of them in one studio proved to be too much ego for Kanye to handle. He was quick to point out that Rihanna would not even be popular if it was not for his influence on the entire spectrum of music, and of course, Kanye even hinted that the Beatles would not have been much if he had not acknowledged them as such.

So once Rihanna’s equally staggering ego left the room, Kanye began to realize that the only way he was ever going to succeed from this point forward would be to literally create his own people. He already had unwittingly roped in McCartney, so who would be in the same league?

He quickly decided to call some of Macca’s pals who just sit around all day and wait for their royalty checks.

These included Eric Clapton, Robert Plant, Ringo Starr and Rod Stewart.

So with the players in place, Kanye decided to move forward with an unprecedented project that would be both unsettling and egomaniacal.

Once all six of them made it into the same studio, the hackwork, uh,

The artwork for Kanye’s Village People’s upcoming album.

magic began. Through the wizardry of digital editing, not to mention countless bottles of cognac, Kanye was able to steal some of these iconic rockers’ best songs and make them believe that he had in fact written them himself.

McCartney was surprised to learn that Kanye had written a song called “Maybe I’m Amazed with Kanye” and Eric Clapton was equally alarmed to learn that “Tears in Heaven” was now “Kanye’s Like Heaven.” Robert Plant had no idea that Kanye had come up with a song called “Stairway to Kanye,” and Rod Stewart spilled cognac all over himself when he first heard the playback of “Do Ya Think Kanye’s Sexy?” Ringo, too, set aside his “peace and love” persona long enough to wonder how he lost the rights to “All I’ve Got Is s Photograph of Kanye.”

But commandeering these seminal musical figures and reinventing their best songs was not enough for Kanye’s ego. He still needed a name for this group. And suddenly, it came to him.

They would be called “Kanye’s Village People.” It made perfect sense.

The self-important rapper already viewed himself as a macho man, had the mental ability to always spell Y.M.C.A. correctly, and was already

aware that “Go West” could be interpreted in more than one way.

So, the world will brace itself for a full album’s worth of music from a man whose ego is so big, he has to invent his own village and populate it with people he holds hostage artistically.

Kanye’s Village People will be released the first week of May, and, unbeknownst to McCartney, Clapton, Plant, Starr and Stewart, none of them will receive any royalties.

Their names will be dwarfed by Kanye’s on the disc’s label.

The album has insiders buzzing about how much business it will do when it is eventually released on vinyl, CD and digital formats.

Billboard magazine even went so far as to throw mounds of payola-funded acclaim on the album, saying that it will very likely be the best record released this year, or any year for that matter. The industry mag also went so far as to say that it would not be surprising if Kanye’s Village People swept next year’s Grammy awards.

The only problem facing our dear Kanye at that point will be how he will attempt to interrupt his own acceptance speech.

photo illustration by KARA HERRERA

12

features

04.02.2015

ISLAND WAVES

Schlitterbahn raises incompletion to an art form

Photo courtesy of SCHLITTERBAHNNEWS.COM

A rendering of what the completed Schlitterbahn was supposed to look like.

by JESSE DE LEON graduate adviser

W

hen something lies unfinished, it holds a rather undeniable essence of mystique. Whether it is

a symphony that never got suited with its final crescendo, a book that never offered its characters narrative closure or a movie in which the lead actor met an untimely end outside the confines of the cinematic

frame, people always seem to flock to something that has not quite seen itself through.

That rather unusual celebration of incompletion is something that Schlitterbahn is actually banking on.

The water park franchise has met with staggering success in New Braunfels and South Padre Island, but that runaway popularity both north and south of its Corpus Christi location has not ushered a swift completion in its local facility. Even though the park’s restaurant, portions of its main waterway and several shallow pool areas have already been built, those in charge of its construction have seen a staggering upswing in visitors despite the unfinished state of the park. That has led everyone involved to accentuate that very unique attribute.

“I always remember my first marketing professor, Cecil B. Sold, who always championed the art of selling at any cost,” revealed local Schlitterbahn public relations representative Gabby Wordsworth.

“And clearly, Schlitterbahn’s state of incompletion is the park’s biggest selling point.”

So what has attracted the seemingly endless throngs of Schlitterbahn enthusiasts to a park that is actually nowhere near being finished? Wordsworth took a moment to find an answer, and then waxed philosophical.

“I really do believe that our Schlitterbahn’s unfinished state reminds people of all of the things that they themselves have left unfinished in their lives and it gives them a sense of false comfort to know that their lack of planning and poor time management,” she said, “which has not allowed them finish anything important in their lives, can be represented by our

own poor planning and lack of time management on a much larger and much more public scale.”

Graduate student Jay T. Walker, one of the unfinished Schlitterbahn’s more frequent visitors, feels most at home amid the shallow, halffilled pools and hacked up muddy landscape.

“I have been in graduate school for twenty years,” he said. “What was supposed to take me two years has now become a morass of changed majors, lost credits and complete misdirection…kind of like this park here, and I guess that is why I feel like my affinity for incompletion fits right into the larger scale of things here in this park.”

After a very long and uncomfortable pause, Walker enjoys the rare treat of actually summarizing his particular situation.

“It’s too bad I can’t get a master’s degree in incompletion,” Walker said.

Faced with the park’s unexpected popularity in its unfinished state, the next phase of construction is actually already underway, said Wordsworth.

“We have decided to never finish the park…ever,” she said. “We are contending with meetings that were planned but never held, contractors that were willing to negotiate but never called back, and a handful of additional rides and attractions have not even been put on the drawing board,” Wordsworth said.

“After all this time, we feel that if we actually ever really do complete this Schlitterbahn, we will not only live up to anyone’s expectations, but we will be ripping away that alluring attribute of incompletion that everyone can relate to.”

And that sense of being unfinished obviously runs a whole lot deeper than scorching sunburn.

13

features

04.02.2015

ISLAND WAVES

Island University receives funds to start up football team

by CONNER TICHOTA editor in chief

F

or years, students have waited with bated breath hoping that the Islanders would finally get a football team. The time has come. On March 19, university officials signed a five year financial plan marking the start of the ‘Ders Football.

The grant was contributed in part by private, local donors who have wanted to see a team for quite some time.

“I’ve been living in Corpus [Christi] my whole life,” said patron and local business owner Fred Robertson.

Robertson and his wife Nora . It’s me. It’s me.

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The name ‘Ders was adopted by the athletic department when they began using social media.

“The name ‘Islanders’ was already taken by a professional team in town,” said It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me.

Now ‘Ders is used primarily on the athletics Twitter account. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. Students showed great enthusiasm when they received news that It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me.

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The question remains if there will be enough room either on the main campus or the newly built Momentum campus to sustain the team. Director It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me.

It’s me. It’s me. “ We will have to look into creating additional space on Momentum,” said It’s me. It’s me. It’s me.

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me. It’s me. It’s me.

Officials are hoping to work the necessary plans for a football field into the already proposed plan for It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me.

It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me.

Hopefully by now the readers have realized this is Island Waves traditional April Fool’s edition of the newspaper. If not, we suggest reading It’s me.

It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me.

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It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. a quick review of satire.

We understand that news is important. That’s why we bust our It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me.

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It’s me. We want to ensure the best quality of news that we can provide. And, as a student newspaper run by students we sometimes It’s me.

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m e .

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It’s me. illustration by CONNER TICHOTA It’s me.

It’s me.

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It’s me. We sometimes need a chance to relax, let go and not take ourselves too seriously. That’s what the April Fool’s edition is about: letting off some steam.

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me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me.

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We sincerely hope our readers have enjoyed this edition of the Island Waves. We know we have. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me.

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The best thing about this issue is the originality.

All of these stories were just mere figments of our imaginations. Yup, old Gorgie here was inspired by a doodle.

These stories were figments of our It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me.

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Figments that we brought to light just for the readers. Because we care that much about you.

Trust us, this issue doesn’t benefit our resumes in anyway. It’s all for you.

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We want to see you smile and laugh as hard as we did when we budgeted this issue. That’s the joy of being a journalist. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me.

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It’s not about exposing or exploiting people. It’s about telling the truth, informing the readers and keeping them happy. Happy. Happy. Happy. It’s me.

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It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me.

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Enjoy the rest of the semester. It’s almost over. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me.

It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. If ever bored, draw George. He’s sure to give nightmares.

It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me.

It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me.

It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me.

It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me.

It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me.

It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me.

It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me.

It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me. It’s George.

14

sports

04.02.2015

ISLAND WAVES

James takes his talents to South Texas

Photo courtesy of CBSSPORTS.COM

by JEREMY PAPE sports reporter

I

n a move that has surprised everyone, Cleveland Cavaliers small forward LeBron James has opted out of his contract with the team, and has chosen to go to college at Texas A&M University-Corpus Christi.

Having gone straight from high school to the NBA, this will be a challenge much unlike the ones James faces each night on the court.

As an athlete James serves as an inspiration for many people across the globe. However, there are three people in his life that served as motivation for this new step: his three children.

“Basketball has been good to me,” James said. “My family and I may be financially set for life, but my children need to understand that an education should come first.”

The shockwaves from James’ attest decision are still being felt around the league the day after he made his announcement.

“This is undoubtedly the most sudden retirement since Michael Jordan switched to baseball,” NBA commissioner Adam Silver said.

It took a rare set of circumstances for James to even be able to make this transition. Typically, once an athlete has reached the professional level, they are not allowed to reclaim their amateur status. However, language in James’ contract allowed for these events to happen.

The absence of the four-time Most Valuable Player award winner will obviously have an impact from both a fan and a marketing standpoint.

However, the other members of the Cavaliers will once again be seeing a huge change in personnel, just one year removed from a massive rebuild.

“It will take some getting used to,” starting point guard Kyrie Irving said.

Obviously, LeBron’s influence on this team and this city is something that cannot be easily duplicated.”

Since he never had the college experience, James is looking forward to broadening his horizons.

“I know that maintaining a good schedule in college is a very stressful task,” James said. “College classes are an entirely different challenge than the NBA. It is like I am a rookie again.”

James choosing to live and attend classes in Corpus Christi is a huge deal for the community.

“Corpus Christi seemed like a natural fit for me,” James said. “After all, I did spend four years living on the beach in Miami.”

Cleveland residents understandably have not taken the news well.

“We’ve been through all of this before. It really hurts to be going through it again,” longtime Cavaliers season ticket holder Tobias Felk said.

James wants to rely on his past experiences to give the university’s basketball team all he can.

“Having been in the NBA since 2003, I will be a player-coach for the Islanders,” James said. “I even plan to cut my playing time so that the guys

who already have a spot on the team can get their reps in.”

James does not believe that he will be gone forever from the NBA for good.

“I have four years here at the Island University,” James said. “When I graduate, I’ll be 34. I believe that, barring injury or illness, I still will have three or four good years left in the NBA.” Student reaction has been overwhelmingly positive.

‘I’ve watched LeBron play since I was a little kid,” student Jake Pfeiffer said. “I can’t wait to finally see him in action live. He will bring such an excitement to the fans.”

illustrations by KARA HERRERA

15

sports

Planet Hoops

04.02.2015

ISLAND WAVES

Aliens challenge All Star American team in basketball

by JEREMY PAPE sports reporter

I

n the first documented instance of its kind, aliens from Mars came down to Earth to try to really prove the world champions are. The aliens crash landed on a ranch near Corpus Christi.

“It was like something from a movie,” the land’s owner, Justice Morris said.

Through a scientist that acted as the alien’s translator, the team’s leader, Nerp, mentioned that the team had been hard at work in the week since their arrival.

“We only recently learned of the existence of this most wonderful pastime,” Nerp said. “Martians have superior intellect to humans of planet Earth, so we have been quick studies of the game.”

Some of the finest basketball players on Earth served as inspiration for the visitors.

“We studied Kevin Durant, Russell Westbrook and Kobe Bryant in preparation for this first step of alien domination,” the Martians’ starting point guard, Klerg said.

The NBA has commissioned a group of all-star players to face off against the Martians. One notable

exception to the list is LeBron James, who has just recently quit the league in order to pursue a college degree.

“I don’t think we’ll have a problem destroying them,” Durant said.

“We’ve beaten everyone on Earth, so Mars shouldn’t pose a problem.”

No matter what happens in the game, the aliens are ready to continue their learning curve in the hopes of taking their knowledge back to Mars.

“We are going to start basketball academies on Mars,” Nerp said. “Even with our intellect, it is important that we cultivate that knowledge, and help our community as a whole.”

The match will be held next month at one of basketball’s most iconic venues; Madison Square Garden.

“Those aliens know the history of the game,” Durant said. “They know what it means to play in Madison Square Garden, and to be in New York City.”

The Martians understand they are indebted to Morris, who has been housing them since their arrival on Earth.

“Justice has been a great host. If more people on Earth were like him, we would stay here forever,” Klerg said.

Since the aliens have been staying in Texas, and want to go to New York for the big game, they will be

traveling by spaceship.

“As the leader of the Martians, I have studied Earth for quite some time,” Nerp said. “One of my biggest concerns is how we will be able to park a 3,000 pound spaceship in any parking lot in New York City.”

Fans have been excited about the news since the announcement was made.

“I’m really into science fiction, and I love basketball, so to be able to see an event such as this is the ultimate dream,” New York City resident Louis Sabre said.

The game will be telecast on both Earth and Mars on every sports channel in existence.

“This process has been quite an undertaking,” the FCC said in a prepared statement. “Something like this which no one could have predicted would ever occur, was too good of an opportunity to keep off of television.”

NBA player and Durant’s teammate, Russell Westbrook, has a great deal of confidence in his squad’s ability.

“Oh, no question, we will absolutely destroy them,” Westbrook said. “I never thought I would get to send an entire alien race home crying, so I am going all out to ensure that we get the win. It could be the only world championship I will get.”

16

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04.02.2015

ISLAND WAVES

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