Peace Education Workbook by Creative

A PRACTICAL GUIDE TO PEACEMAKING

PEACE EDUCATION WORKBOOK Dear Friends, Welcome! Being peaceful is very important to our community and our own well-being. Being peaceful is much more than just solving problems with other people. Although, thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an important part. The purpose of this workbook is to help you learn how and why to be a peacemaker. In order to make peace we must have two things: knowledge and willingness. This workbook shares the knowledge you need to be a peacemaker. Now all you need is the willingness to make peace. Each page introduces a skill or concept that can be used to create more peace within a community. Workbook lessons are selfdirected and reflect many of the skills and concepts taught in the Peace Education program for fourth and fifth graders. Peace Learning Center was founded in 1997, and since then has impacted more than 100,000 youth, teachers and parents. PEACEFULLY YOURS, Your Friends at Peace Learning Center www.peacelearningcenter.org Peace Learning Center Eagle Creek Park 6040 DeLong Road Indianapolis, Indiana 46254-9797 USA (317) 327-7144

Peace Learning Center 8725 E. Fall Creek Road Lawrence, IN 46256-2159 (317) 596-9730

PEACE EDUCATION WORKBOOK PREPARING TO BE A PEACEMAKER WHAT DOES PEACE MEAN TO YOU? PEACEFUL BEHAVIORS SIX PILLARS OF CHARACTERSM CORE VALUES WHEN HAVE YOU USED THESE CORE VALUES? PEACE MENTORS PEACEMAKER CROSSWORD LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER FOULS PEACE BREATH HOW I STAY COOL CONFLICT EQUATION FOUL BUSTER REPHRASE FOUL BUSTER PRACTICE KANJI LISTENING EMOTIONAL PROFILE BODY LANGUAGE MY BODY LANGUAGE POINT-OF-VIEW POINT-OF-VIEW IN THE NEW CD WHAT HAPPENED? HOW DO YOU FEEL? WHY DO YOU FEEL THAT WAY? ALL THREE POINT-OF-VIEW QUESTIONS I-MESSAGE FACTS AND OPINIONS ASKING QUESTIONS OPEN VS. CLOSED QUESTIONS STEP PEACE APOLOGY PEACE REQUEST THINKING ABOUT CONSEQUENCES BEING A PEACEMAKER CORE VALUES AND PEACE SKILLS THINGS IN COMMON HOW TO COOPERATE ENVIRONMENTAL PEACE DIFFERENT TYPES OF ENVIRONMENTS FOUL CATCHER INSTRUCTIONS FOUL CATCHER PEACE TEST FOULS POSTER VALUES POSTER

PAGE PAGE PAGE PAGE PAGE PAGE

4 5 6 7 8-11 12

PAGE PAGE PAGE PAGE PAGE PAGE PAGE PAGE PAGE PAGE PAGE PAGE PAGE PAGE PAGE PAGE PAGE PAGE PAGE PAGE PAGE PAGE PAGE PAGE PAGE

13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34-36 37 38 39

PAGE PAGE PAGE PAGE PAGE PAGE PAGE PAGE PAGE PAGE

40-41 42 43 44 45 46 47-48 49 50 51

PRACTICAL GUIDE TO PEACEMAKING

WHAT DOES PEACE MEAN TO YOU? In order to make peace we must have knowledge and willingness. With this workbook and the knowledge you already have you will soon know how to make peace. Then all you need is the willingness! Before you start the activities in this workbook think about what peace means to you and fill out this page.

MY NAME IS MY NAME IS I THINK PEACE IS... Draw a picture or write about what peace means to you!

PRACTICAL GUIDE TO PEACEMAKING ] PEACEFUL BEHAVIORS

Use your brain to pick out and circle all the peaceful behaviors. Draw an X on each word that is not a peaceful behavior and replace it with something else that might bring more peace to your community.

A Positive Attitude Creativity Acceptance Forgiveness

Violence

Compassion

Negativity Lying Understanding Cooperation

Selfishness

Caring Aggressiveness

Gentleness

Hostility

Jealousy Blaming Judging

Honesty Sensitivity Distrust Respect Courage Listening

Cruelty Dignity Patience Hatred Openness Teasing

PRACTICAL GUIDE TO PEACEMAKING THE SIX PILLARS OF CHARACTERSM from CHARACTER COUNTS!

CORE VALUES

1 Trustworthiness

Be Honest * Don’t deceive, cheat or steal * Be reliable — do what you say you’ll do * Have the courage to do the right thing * Build a good reputation * Be loyal - stand by your family, friendsand country

2 Respect

Treat others with respect; follow the Golden Rule * Be tolerant of differences * Use good manners, not bad language * Be considerate of the feelings of others * Don’t threaten, hit or hurt anyone * Deal peacefully with anger, insults and disagreements

3 Responsibility

Do what you are supposed to do * Persevere: keep on trying! * Always do your best * Use self-control * Be self-disciplined * Think before you act — consider the consequences * Be accountable for your choices

4 Fairness Caring 5 Citizenship 6

Play by the rules * Take turns and share * Be open-minded; listen to others * Don’t take advantage of others * Don’t blame others carelessly

Be kind * Be compassionate and show you care * Express gratitude * Forgive others * Help people in need

Do your share to make your school and community better * Cooperate * Get involved in community affairs * Stay informed; vote * Be a good neighbor * Obey laws and rules * Respect authority * Protect the environment

Six Pillars of CharacterSM is a service mark of the CHARACTER COUNTS! Coalition, a project of the Josephson Institute of Ethics. www.charactersounts.org.

PRACTICAL GUIDE TO PEACEMAKING THE SIX PILLARS OF CHARACTERSM from CHARACTER COUNTS!

WHEN HAVE YOU USED THESE CORE VALUES?

1. Describe a time that you showed a friend you were trustworthy. 2.When have you shown respect to a family member? 3. Describe a time you had to be responsible. 4. What are some ways that you have tried to treat others fairly? 5. How have you cared for others? 6. What have you done to improve your community through citizenship? Six Pillars of CharacterSM is a service mark of the CHARACTER COUNTS! Coalition, a project of the Josephson Institute of Ethics. www.charactersounts.org.

PRACTICAL GUIDE TO PEACEMAKING

PEACE ROLE MODELS

Role models are individuals that we can look up to and learn from. We can learn what values are important and what methods work. These four role models made peaceful changes in their own communities and throughout the world. Think about what core values each role model used.

DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. Dr. King (1929-1968) spent his life working for equal rights for everyone no matter what their race, religion or financial status. He believed people should be judged by who they were on the inside and not by the color of their skin. He wanted all people to live together in peace. He used non-violent action like boycotts*, strikes* and marches*.

QUOTE: “LET NO MAN PULL YOU SO LOW AS TO HATE HIM.”

MOTHER TERESA Mother Teresa (1910-1997) spent her life helping people. She provided food to the hungry and medical help to the sick and dying. She brought hope and love to those in need. Even though she was born into a rich family, she gave it all up in order to help others.

QUOTE: “PEACE BEGINS QUOTE: WITH A SMILE.”

* Boycott: to refuse to buy or use something until a change happens * Strike: to refuse to work or to participate until a change happens * March: to join with others and walk in a place that attracts attention

PRACTICAL GUIDE TO PEACEMAKING

MAHATMA GANDHI Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948) was committed to social justice. He organized the people of India so that they could take control of their country and government without violence. He did this by using boycotts*, strikes* and marches.* Gandhi believed all people should be treated with dignity and respect. The word Mahatma means: Great Soul .

QUOTE: “WE MUST BE THE CHANGE WE WISH TO SEE IN THE WORLD.”

ELEANOR ROOSEVELT Eleanor Roosevelt (1884 –1962 ) was known as the First Lady of the World because of her travels to promote human rights. As the wife of President Franklin D. Roosevelt she was First Lady of the U.S. from 1933 to 1945. On December 10, 1948, the Human Rights Declaration, written by Eleanor, was passed by the United Nations in order to guarantee rights to all citizens of the world.

QUOTE: “IT IS NOT FAIR TO ASK OF OTHERS WHAT YOU ARE NOT WILLING TO DO YOURSELF..”

HOW CAN YOU BE A ROLE MODEL?

PRACTICAL GUIDE TO PEACEMAKING

FETHULLAH GULEN Fethullah Gulen (1941–present) was born in Erzurum, Turkey. Gulen is a Muslim peacemaker and dialogue leader who teaches respect of all religions and faiths. Committed to helping youth learn ways to get along and succeed, his movement started over 500 schools worldwide.

QUOTE: “LET THERE BE NO TROUBLED SOULS TO WHOM YOU DO NOT OFFER A HAND AND ABOUT WHOM YOU REMAIN UNCONCERNED.”

CESAR CHAVEZ Cesar Chavez (1927-1993) was a Hispanic American and migrant farm worker. Migrant farm workers move from farm to farm picking whatever crop is ready. The migrant farm workers were treated unfairly so Chavez formed the United Farm Workers union. Through nonviolent methods Chavez showed that peaceful change can come through organizing people against injustice.

QUOTE: “IT STARTS WITH YOUR HEART QUOTE: AND RADIATES OUT.”

WHAT CORE VALUES DID THESE ROLE MODELS USE?

PRACTICAL GUIDE TO PEACEMAKING

ROSA PARKS Rosa Parks (1913-2005) was a seamstress and civil rights activist who is now known as the mother of the civil rights movement. In 1955, she refused to give up her seat on a city bus to a white passenger. This act started the Montgomery Bus Boycott, which has been one of the most successful movements against racial segregation in history.

“EACH PERSON MUST LIVE THEIR LIFE AS A MODEL FOR OTHERS.”

NOW ADD YOUR OWN PEACE ROLE MODEL. DRAW A

PICTURE AND DESCRIBE A PERSON IN YOUR LIFE WHO SHOWS OTHERS HOW TO BE PEACEFUL.

NAME:

QUOTE:

PRACTICAL GUIDE TO PEACEMAKING

PEACEMAKER CROSSWORD What do these words mean to you? Peace Conflict Violence Equality Environment

Respect Cooperation Love Values Harmony

Self Defense Justice Forgiveness Competition Freedom

PEACEMAKER CROSSWORD Activity Directions

Read the clues given below and fill in the crossword puzzle with the correct word from the list above.

ACROSS

2 1 4

6 8 7 9

1. Working together to problem solve 2. Truly accepting an apology and moving on 3. Working against an opponent; sports 4. Harmful thoughts, words or actions 5. Fixing a problem competitively 6. The right to make your own decisions

DOWN

1. Treat others as you wish to be treated 2. People cooperating together; living in peace 3. Fair and equal treatment for your actions 4. Surroundings; nature; community 5. Problem solving; getting along 6. Protecting yourself from harm 7. Beliefs to help decide right from wrong 8. Trust; acceptance; forgiveness 9. Having fair opportunities; all the same

PRACTICAL GUIDE TO PEACEMAKING

FOULS

Fouls are the opposite of peaceful consequences. Fouls can hurt us and behaviors and core values, and just our community and they can lead to like a foul in basketball they have conflict. Read the list of fouls below.

Activity Directions

Read each problem below and identify any fouls. Draw a line from the problem on the left to the correct foul on the right.

1. I never should have trusted you with my CD, Rob. You scratched it and now you won’t replace it. You’re such a jerk! 2. I’ve been playing basketball all afternoon and I didn’t start missing my shots until you showed up. 3. Get out of my chair right now! 4. My best friend Callie told me you’ve been telling everybody my dad went to jail. If you shut your mouth I’m going to it for you.

that that don’t shut

5. It wasn’t my fault! 6. You made fun of me first, so now I’m going to tell everyone you’re a crybaby. 7. Man, you can’t

FOULS BLAMING TEASING LYING BOSSING HITTING GRABBING PUT DOWNS THREATENING GETTING EVEN MAKING EXCUSES NAME CALLING NOT LISTENING INTERRUPTING 13

LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER

PEACE BREATH

Fouls can make us feel angry or hurt. If we want to make peace after someone fouls us the first thing we need to do is know how to stay cool. A Peace Breath is a skill you can use to calm down and help you think. It is a great way to stay cool and show the core value responsibility!

STEP 1: Slowly breathe in to a count of 7 1-2-3-4-5-6-7

STEP 2: Now slowly breathe out as you count down from 7 7-6-5-4-3-2-1 GREAT! NEXT TIME YOU START TaO FEEL ANGRY OR UPSET TRY A PEACE BREATH AND SEE IF IT HELPS CALM YOU DOWN.

Now try it again, but this time place your hands on your stomach. As you breathe in can you feel your hands being pushed out? That means you are doing a great Peace Breath. 14

LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER

HOW I STAY COOL

When we feel upset or angry we can be try to be peaceful by taking a Peace Breath, but there are many other ways to stay cool as you will see below.

Activity Directions

Circle the ways you like to stay cool then draw a picture or write a story about a time you had to calm down or stay cool. Add to the list if you can think of other ways to stay cool.

WAYS TO STAY COOL Listen to music Take a bike ride Play a sport Write a letter Draw a picture Play a game Do homework Call a friend Take a walk Go to the movies Play music Count to 10 Take a deep breath Talk to a parent

LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER CONFLICT EQUATION

A conflict is a disagreement, argument, or fight. We all experience conflict, but how do we get into conflicts? The conflict equation is an easy way to remember how conflicts happen. It can also help us remember how to prevent conflicts!

Activity Directions

Use the words and symbols below to build the Conflict Equation. Remember, both people must foul in order to make a conflict. The answer can be found at the bottom of the page.

+ CONFLICT FOUL = FOUL

Answer: FOUL + FOUL = CONFLICT

Now that we know the Conflict Equation, it is time to find out what else we can do instead of foul in order to prevent the conflict.

LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER

FOUL BUSTER

When someone fouls us we have a choice. We can foul back and create a conflict, like in the Conflict Equation, or we can make a good decision and try to prevent a conflict. One of those good choices that uses the core value respect is called a Foul Buster.

SO LET’S BUST A FOUL!

At the end of the school day you are putting your papers in your backpack when another student walks up and calls you a punk. What’s the problem?

STEP 1:

Why would you say that?

ASK A QUESTION

What happened?

How do you feel?

He tells you he heard you were talking about his little sister. He wants you to stop spreading rumors.

STEP 2:

REPHRASE

(

If he answers “Yes” then you have successfully bust-

ed the foul. Now it’s time to problem solve. Ask him if you can go somewhere else and talk about it.

Are you saying you’re mad at me

because I said something mean about your sister and you want me to stop?

(

If he answers “No” then you might need to ask

another question and rephrase his answer again.

TURN THE PAGE TO LEARN HOW TO DO A GREAT REPHRASE! 17

LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER REPHRASE

When you rephrase what someone just told you it lets them know that you have heard and understood them. Every rephrase begins with the words “Are you saying…?” or “Do you mean…?” You must fill in the blank by saying what the person just told you but in your own words. Rephrasing is not repeating! You can use the core value fairness in order to give a great rephrase.

YOU HAVE TO BUY ME ANOTHER CD!

REPHRASE

ARE YOU SAYING I HAVE TO REPLACE THE CD?

If you are having trouble thinking of a rephrase think about what that personmight want you to do. For example: “Are you saying you want me to get you a new CD?” Now if they say yes then it’s time to talk about it and try to problem solve. If they say no then you might need to ask more questions and rephrase again.

Activity Directions

Read each message and rephrase it starting with the words “Are you saying…?”

YOU’RE NOT PAYING ATTENTION.

YOU STOLE MY BEST FRIEND. 18

REPHRASE

LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER

FOUL BUSTER PRACTICE

Now that we know the two steps of the Foul Buster it is time to practice. Remember the first thing you do when someone fouls you is Ask a Question. Then after they answer your question it is time to Rephrase.

FOUL FOUL BUSTER

HEY JERKFACE WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING.

YOU STEPPED ON MY FOOT AND DIDN’T SAY SORRY.

STEP 1: ASK A QUESTION

STEP 1: REPHRASE

Get more practice with the Foul Buster by going to page 47 and cutting out the Foul Catcher. 19

LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER KANJI LISTENING

In order to do a great rephrase we must also listen carefully! Kanji is a form of Chinese writing and the symbol below means listening. It is made up of five different characters that each stand for a different tool we can use to listen.

Ears

Eyes

We use our ears to hear the sound of the speakerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s voice.

We use our eyes to watch the speakerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s body language and make eye contact.

Attention

Mind

We use our mind to think about what the speaker is saying.

We use our attention to focus on the speaker.

Heart

Activity Directions

Trace the Kanji Listening symbol below and label each part.

We use our heart to care about what the speaker is saying. This is a gr eat example of the core value caring

LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER

EMOTIONAL PROFILE

We can feel different emotions at the same time. When we recognize what we are feeling it is easier to express our feelings to others. Read each story and rate the amount of each emotion that you would feel. Use a different color for each story on your emotional profile.

1. Your friend finds a ten dollar bill outside the teacherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lounge and offers to split it with you. 2. There is only one piece of chocolate left. Both you and your friend want it. As you are arguing over who should get it, it falls on the ground and gets dirty.

3. Think of something that has happened at home or at school that was a problem then fill out your emotional profile.

EMOTION

100

SAD ANGRY HAPPY SURPRISED AFRAID GUILTY EMBARASSED RELIEVED 21

LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER

BODY LANGUAGE

Body language is the way our face, body, posture, and movement express how we might be feeling. Using body language we can tell others how we feel without saying a word. We can also learn how others might feel by reading their body language. Look at the body language in the pictures below and label each one with an emotion.

LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER

MY BODY LANGUAGE

We express our emotions using body language, whether we know it or not. Draw a picture of your own body language for each emotion below.

HOW WOULD YOUR FACE LOOK IF YOU FELT EXCITED?

WHAT DOES YOUR BODY LOOK LIKE WHEN YOU FEEL SAD?

LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER POINT-OF-VIEW

Our point-of-view is the way we see things or the way we think about things. Conflict often comes from a disagreement about different points-of-view. In order to understand someone’s point-of-view in a conflict, think of three questions:

WHAT HAPPENED?

HOW DO YOU FEEL?

WHY DO YOU FEEL THAT WAY?

Activity Directions

Read the following story and think about both points-of-view. How would you answer the three point-of-view questions for both people involved?

THE NEW CD

You and Sean are neighborhood friends and have gone to the same school for years. Your parents have good jobs and give you a big allowance for doing chores, like washing the dishes, setting the table and mowing the yard. Two weeks ago, on your allowance day, you walked to the store to buy a CD by your favorite group. On the way back home, you saw Sean and showed him your CD. Sean immediately said he wanted to borrow it that night. Although you had just gotten it, you decided that since Sean was a friend, he could take it for the night. Sean was really happy.

Unfortunately, on his way home, Sean was reading the label and accidentally dropped the CD. It was badly scratched. The next day when he returned it, he

told you about the accident and apologized. You were really mad and sorry that you had trusted him with it. Without thinking, you called him a clumsy jerk and demanded that he buy you a new one. Sean was surprised by your reaction. Unlike you, he had no money and got no allowance. He told you that both of his parents lost their jobs and that they have no spare money to replace the CD. Still mad, you said that you didn’t want to hear it and walked away. Sean was a little embarrassed and hoped the whole thing would just blow over. After a week, you’re still mad. You decide that Sean can’t be trusted and you feel he still owes you. Sean does not know what to think but is beginning to get angry.

LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER POINT-OF-VIEW IN THE NEW CD It is easier to stay cool in conflict when we know what to do to be peaceful and why it is important. Peacemaking starts by knowing that there are at least two sides or points-of-view to every story.

Both points-of-view need to be heard and understood so that both people in the conflict will be ready to problem solve. In order to do this you must use both respect and fairness.

Activity Directions

Answer the point-of-view questions for both sides of the story. Think carefully about how Seanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s point-of-view compared to yours.

SEAN

1. What happened?

2. How do you feel?

3. Why do you feel that way (about what happened)?

LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER

WHY DO YOU FEEL THAT WAY?

We cannot resolve a conflict and make peace if we foul the other person. Instead we must focus on the problem and not the person. Re-write the messages below by explaining what happened without using fouls.

Then Miss Big Foot stomped on my toes.

foul = name calling

Then Miss Big Foot stomped on my toes. foul = name calling

LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER

HOW DO YOU FEEL?

EMOTIONS

Sad Curious Scared Angry Frustrated Generous Confused Disappointed Sorry Scared Concerned Excited Joyful Afraid Depressed Mad Surprised Shocked Jealous Respected Worried Helpless Insulted Nervous Valued Suspicious

When in a conflict it is important to recognize how you and the other person might feel.

You might feel emotions like angry, sad, or upset, but there are many different emotions, as you can see in the list to the left. Think about each situation below and write a feeling that you might have. Remember, you can have more than one feeling at the same time.

1. When someone smiles at me, I feel 2. When I make a mistake, I feel 3. When someone threatens me, I feel 4. When I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know what to do, I feel 5. When someone helps me, I feel 6. When I say the wrong thing, I feel 7. When I have the correct answer, I feel 7. When I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get what I want, I feel 27

LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER

WHY DO YOU FEEL THAT WAY?

Telling someone why you feel the way you do gives them your complete point-of view and helps them understand why it matters to you. Read what happened below and think about why it might bother you. Write your answer in the blank provided.

WHAT HAPPENED? I pushed him out of my way because I was there first, then he started yelling at me. She grabbed it out of my hands, threw it on the ground, and then everyone started laughing. My friend told me that he was spreading rumors about me. Now the whole school thinks that I cheated on my test. I told her a secret. She told everyone else and then laughed about it. 28

HOW DO YOU FEEL?

mad

WHY DO YOU FEEL THAT WAY? I feel that way because we are supposed to wait our turn in line and not cut.

LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER

CONGRATULATIONS!

You have successfully learned all three questions you need to ask when you want someone else’s point-of-view. Now let’s put them all together. Read the answers to the three point-of-view questions below then use the code to the right to discover the entire point-of-view.

THE CODE

WHAT HAPPENED?

A=W

I was walking down the hall at school when Jimmy tripped me. His friends started laughing.

I felt embarrassed at the time but now I’m just mad!

WHY DO YOU FEEL THAT WAY?

_ _ _ _ A D L Q _ _ V B _ _ _ H L Y

_ _ _ _ _ P M C C G

_ _ _ D M E _ _ _ _ Z I E L

_ _ _ _ _ _ F S G M Q K

_ _ B S _ M

_ _ F V

O=D

D=H

Q=N

F=T

S=R

C=M

_ _ _ _ _ F S M U E _ _ _ _ _ M L Q O E _ _ _ _ _ F D M Q X _ _ _ _ _ E F Z S F

_ _ C L _ _ _ M B L _ _ ‘ _ D L ’ E

_ Z

P=J

R=L

G=Y

H=B I=U

T=X

U=P

V=O

J=Q

W=Z

L=E

Y=C

K=G

In my opinion he was trying to start a fight and was showing off to his friends.

B=F

E=S

HOW DO YOU FEEL?

N =V

X=K

M=I

_ _ M Q

Z=A

_ _ _ _ _ B S V Q F

_ _ _ _ _ L R C Z O _ _ _ _ P I E F

_ _ _ _ _. B M K D F.

LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER I-MESSAGE

An I-Message is an easy way to tell someone your point-of-view in a respectful way. You can use an I-Message to express your point-of-view no matter what emotion you are feeling.

I-MESSAGE

There are four parts of an I-Message.

Name...

(their name)

When...

(what happened?)

I feel...

Here’s an example:

Claire I feel frustrated when I get blamed for taking your seat because I didn’t know you were sitting here.

Because...

(how do ypu feel)

(why do you feel that way?)

NOW TRY YOUR OWN I-MESSAGE BASED ON THE STORIES BELOW. 1. Allen said it was your fault he got a bad grade on the math quiz.

2. Gina scratched your brand-new CD and didn’t say sorry.

I-MESSAGE

Name

I feel

when

because

LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER I-MESSAGE

The “because” section of an I-Message answers the question Why do you feel that way? When we explain why we feel that way sometimes we express our opinion or what we think should happen. There is a difference between giving the facts in an I-Message and sharing your opinion. See if you can tell the difference in the following situations. Circle either Fact or Opinion for each statement.

I feel upset when I am blamed for taking your seat because I did not know it was yours.

Fact

Opinion

I feel angry when I get pushed in line because people should not do that.

Fact

Opinion

I feel mad when my drink gets spilled because I was very thirsty.

Fact

Opinion

I feel angry when I get pushed in line because it is hurtful to me and I do not like it.

Fact

Opinion

I feel sad when people are talking behind my back because that’s wrong.

Fact

Opinion

I feel mad when my drink gets spilled because you should have been watching where you were going.

Fact

Opinion

I feel sad when people are talking behind my back because I don’t know why they don’t like me.

Fact

Opinion

OPINION STATEMENT

A GOOD WAY TO SHARE YOUR OPINION IS TO USE THE PHRASE “IN MY OPINION…” OR “I THINK…”THIS WAY YOU CAN TELL SOMEONE WHAT YOU THINK IN A RESPECTFUL WAY.

LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER ASKING QUESTIONS

There are many ways to ask the same question. Below are the three questions that make up a point-of-view. Asking questions can also show that you care. Match up the numbered questions with the correct point-ofview questions by writing the number in the right box.

1. What were you feeling? 2. Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the problem? 3. So what? 4. Why did it bother you? 5. What did that feel like?

T HA WHA

6. What started this? 7. What emotions came up? 8. Why did it matter? 9. What did you want? 10. Why was it important?

HOW

ED? PPEN

WHY DO YOU FEEL THAT WAY?

YOU FEEL ?

LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER OPEN VS. CLOSED QUESTIONS

Open-ended questions require an explanation, not just a yes or no answer. They take time and patience, but you can find out more about someoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s point-of-view if you ask open-ended questions. A closed question can be answered with a yes or no, without any explanation. Read each question and circle if it is Open or Closed.

Were you really mad at them?

Open

Closed

What would you have done if you were him?

Open

Closed

How did it affect everyone else?

Open

Closed

Did you think that it was right?

Open

Closed

How can I help make things better?

Open

Closed

ASKING AN OPEN-ENDED QUESTION

Open-ended questions usually begin with What, How, and Why. Read each closed question below and change it to an open-ended question.

Do you expect me to buy another CD?

What can I do to make things better?

Will you apologize?

Did you do it? 33

LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER STEP METHOD

You will now learn how to resolve a conflict when two friends are fighting. You can be the peacemaker using the STEP method at a Peace Table! In STEP each letter stands for what to do and when to do it. Each letter has questions that you must ask both participants in order to resolve the conflict in the end.

Remember: As the peacemaker you must not take sides with either person in the

conflict. They must be treated fairly and

agree on their own way to resolve the con-

flict. The best peacemaker is seen as trustworthy by both people.

S T E S 34

stands for...

STAY COOL

stands for...

TELL

stands for...

EXPLORE OTHER POINT-OF-VIEW

ONE POINT-OF-VIEW (POV)

(POV)

stands for...

PROBLEM SOLVE

LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER

STAY COOL

Are you ready and willing to solve this problem peacefully?

Yes

Both people must be ready and willing to try peaceful problem solving or it will not work. It means using no fouls.

No If the answer to this first question is “No, I am not ready and

willing” then try asking: “What do you need to be ready and willing?”

After asking one person all

three questions rephrase their

TELL ONE POV

What happened?

answers. Are you saying you feel _____ when _____ because ________ ?

How do you feel?

Why do you feel that way about what happened?

Again rephrase their answers. Are you saying you

EXPLORE OTHER POV

What happened?

feel _____ when _____ because ________ ?

How do you feel?

Why do you feel that way about what happened? 35

LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER

Ask each person what they want then ask each person what they are willing to do.

PROBLEM SOLVE

What do you want now to solve this problem peacefully? What are you willing to do now to solve this problem peacefully?

ACT

Ask both people to do what they said they were willing to do.

ASK

Ask both people if the problem has been solved fairly?

It is important to know that you can use the STEP method yourself when you are in a conflict with another person, even if there is not a peacemaker helping you. If you know the way STEP works and practice the questions, you can remember these when you are trying to peacefully settle a conflict with someone. When you find yourself in conflict, you would first remember to Stay Cool and you would ask the other person if they would be able to Stay Cool to talk with 36

TELL

Tell both people to tell their friends to prevent rumors.

you. If they are able to do that, then you can each take a turn telling your Point of View. Since you are the one who knows the STEP method, you might let the other person go first in telling their Point of View. The other person may not rephrase if they donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know the STEP method, and that is okay. When you understand each otherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Point of View, try to Problem Solve, using the questions that find out what both people need and what you are both willing to do.

LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER

PEACE APOLOGY During the STEP method a person might ask for an apology. We often use the

words “I am sorry” in conversation so much that it loses its meaning. Here’s one way to say “I’m sorry” that shows a person that you are sincere. (THEIR NAME)

I’M SORRY THAT I… (what happened)

NEXT TIME I’LL... (what you will do differently next time)

Activity Directions

Example:

Read each of the following situa-

MARY, I’M SORRY THAT I YELLED

each in the spaces provided.

RUINING MY BOOK NEXT TIME I’LL

tions below. Write an apology for

AT YOU AND BLAMED YOU FOR

ASK YOU WHAT HAPPENED FIRST.

1. You accidentally knocked Ben’s books onto the floor and then started laughing.

2. You called Whitney a ‘jerk’ because she was being rude to you and your friends.

3. You turned and pushed William who had accidentally pushed you from behind.

LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER

PEACE REQUEST

If someone does something you don’t like another respectful way to address the problem is a Peace Request. You simply make a request beginning with the words “Would you please…?” For example “Would you please let me sit there?” A Peace Request can be used at the end of an I-Message or In My Opinion statement, or it can be used on its own. Read the stories below then practice making Peace Requests by filling in the blanks.

STORY You go to get a piece of blue paper

in art class when someone takes the

PEACE REQUEST Would you please ?

last two pieces.

It’s your turn to pass out papers when someone else gets up and

Would you please ?

starts to do your job.

STORY You and your friend joke about

everything. Sometimes you tease

each other but only to make the other person laugh. One day your friend

makes a joke about your new clothes and this time it really hurts your feelings. 38

I-MESSAGE & PEACE REQUEST I feel when because Would you please ?

LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER

THINKING ABOUT CONSEQUENCES

In order to be responsible we must consider the consequences of our actions. Fighting with someone has different consequences than trying to solve a problem using the skills in this workbook. Make up a conflict and describe the possible consequences for both decisions.

For each possible consequence, ask yourself: • Is the problem really solved? • How will I feel toward the other person? • How will the other person feel about me? • What will our relationship be like in the future?

CONFLICT

Consequences for fighting

Consequences for using peace skills

LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER

CORE VALUES AND PEACE METHODS

The core values mentioned at the beginning of the workbook can be seen in the different peace methods we have practiced. Answer the following questions by connecting the peace methods with the core values they represent.

CORE VALUES: TRUSTWORTHINESS RESPECT RESPONSIBILITY FAIRNESS CARING CITIZENSHIP 1. What core values are you modeling when you use an I-Message?

2. What core values are you modeling when you use a Foul Buster?

3. What core values are you modeling when you give a Peace Apology?

4. What core values are you modeling when you make a Peace Request?

5. What core values are you modeling when you use STEP? 40

LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER

CORE VALUES AND PEACE SKILLS

Match the correct peace method and core value with each story. More than one peace method and core value can be used in each situation.

Story #1

You are trying to solve a conflict with another student but you keep ending up arguing about who started it rather than how to solve it.

Story #2

You were goofing around at lunch and accidentally spilled your milk on your neighbor’s lap.

CORE VALUES: TRUSTWORTHINESS RESPECT

RESPONSIBILITY FAIRNESS CARING

CITIZENSHIP

Story #3

You were standing in line and accidentally bumped into someone else. They immediately turned around and looked like they wanted to hit you.

Story #3

A classmate came up to you, red in the face, and called you a name.

Story #5

You came back from recess to find your coat on the floor and another kid standing on it. They didn’t look like they cared at all.

PEACE SKILLS: PEACE BREATH FOUL BUSTER

PEACE MOVES I-MESSAGE

BODY LANGUAGE

KANJI LISTENING REPHRASE

PEACE APOLOGY STEP METHOD

LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER

THINGS IN COMMON

Interview a classmate you don’t know very well and name ten things you have in common that are not about appearance. For instance don’t use “We are both wearing jeans.” After you’re finished draw a portrait of you and your classmate.

10.

LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER

HOW TO COOPERATE

It is helpful to look at problem solving in a way that allows your natural peacemaking abilities to come through. One way to do this is to treat the other person as a friend. Everything you say, think and do will be from the point-ofview of a friend rather than an opponent. People will often respond as they are treated. Read the following conflict story and answer the questions by thinking of how each person could act like a friend.

Tracy just moved into the neighborhood two days ago. On her first day at school, one of her classmates told her that she was sitting in Sherice’s lunch seat and that was probably going to mean trouble when Sherice got there. Since there were no other places to sit and there were only 10 minutes left in lunch, Tracy decided to stay where she was. Just then, Sherice showed up and stopped right next to Tracy and said “Excuse me, but you need to get up now!” and it did not sound very friendly. Sherice was having xa bad day already and only had a few minutes left to eat and visit with her friends before the bell rang. What might Tracy do or say right now to Sherice to act like a potential friend and be peaceful?

What might Sherice do or say right now to Tracy to act like a potential friend and be peaceful? 43

LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER

ENVIRONMENTAL PEACE

Being peaceful is much more than knowing how to resolve conflicts. It also means having a positive effect on everything around you, including the environment. When you do your part to help the environment you are practicing citizenship. Below are some actions that affect the environment. Circle ‘Yes’ if you think that the action is helping the natural environment, and circle ‘No” if you think that it might be harmful.

1. Recycling paper, plastic and cans

2. Pouring motor oil down the drain 3. Carving your name on a tree

4. Using more than one paper cup on a picnic

5. Turning the lights off when you leave a room

Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes

No No No No No

WHAT YOU CAN DO What can you do to help our planet? You can Reduce, Reuse and Recycle. These are three important things each of us can do to keep our planet healthy.

REDUCE

To use less stuff

For example, you can share your things or borrow someone else’s instead of buying your own, like a book or video game. You can use less paper towels or even use a cloth.

REUSE

For example, you can bring the same lunchbox to To use things over and over school everyday. You can use the backside of paper. You can give clothes that no longer fit to someone else.

RECYCLE

Use old products to make new products

For example, you can turn in old newspapers or soda cans so that they can be used to make new ones. Buying recycled products can really help make recycling work.

LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER

DIFFERENT TYPES OF ENVIRONMENTS

Your environment is made up from all the things around you. One way to better understand the environment is to divide it into three groups; Natural, Developed & Personal. Each of these groups is connected to you differently and each effects your life, your family and the health of your community.

DIFFERENT TYPES OF ENVIRONMENTS

The natural environment means the planet Earth, all the animals, all the plants, and all the things that nature contains, including humans. The natural environment is the source of all the materials and resources that we use to live.

DEVELOPED ENVIRONMENT

PERSONAL ENVIRONMENT

The personal environment includes your family and is also made from your choices, like who your friends are, how well you do in school, what you do with your spare time and how you solve your conflicts. You have a great deal of control over this environment. It also has a big effect on you.

LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER

FOUL CATCHER

A Foul Catcher is a great way to practice the Foul Buster. Follow the directions below to make your own! It’s just like a paper fortune teller.

STEP 1:

CUT OUT THE FOUL CATCHER ALONG THE DOTTED LINES

STEP 2:

PLACE THE FOUL CATCHER FACE DOWN AND FOLD IT IN HALF. STILL FOLDED, FOLD IT IN HALF AGAIN SO YOU HAVE A SQUARE.

STEP 3:

UNFOLD THE FOUL CATCHER AND PLACE IT FACE DOWN. FOLD EACH CORNER UP TO THE CENTER OF THE SQUARE SO YOU CAN SEE THE FOULS AND NUMBERS.

STEP 4:

STILL FOLDED FLIP IT OVER AND FOLD EACH CORNER UP TO THE CENTER OF THE SQUARE.

STEP 5:

FOLD THE SQUARE IN HALF. STILL FOLDED, FOLD IT IN HALF AGAIN, THEN UNFOLD IT ONCE AND STICK ONE FINGER IN EACH FOLD.

STEP 6:

POP OUT EACH CORNER TO FINISH THE FOUL CATCHER. YOU CAN USE YOUR CHIN TO HELP SHAPE THE FOUL CATCHER. Once you have built the foul catcher you can start practicing. Ask a friend to pick one of the four numbers. As you count to that number move the foul catcher in and out. Next they must pick a letter marking a foul. After you foul them they must bust the foul by asking a question and rephrasing. Switch with your partner so you both get practice busting fouls.

FI N

“Y ou ’ r e st u pi “ d!” wo You r d s miss on p ou elle r d p o tw s te o r!”

“ Y es .”

n.”

“G wa et o u y or t of e l se my !”

“ Y ou ’re me blo !” cki

my d ille .” sp rink d

“Y es .”

on me ed !” mp se bu r p o pu

“Y es .”

ou “Y

“I

.” es “Y

.”

’re

“Y ou

u yo

“Y es .”

N FI

te .” ra ling t e d en el nc e y ma o c er ou ’t “Y dn ou w l u co se y I .” “ au c es r ain.” e Y b “ O ag ry ,t o “N

ai Or ag ry

me in my

ou ar

t o, “N

!” ss

at .”

“G et

!”

t ge

mi up ,j er

n’t ca

.” es “Y

s wa e!” e sh m d out r a b he g a “I lkin ta

“I

wi “I’m th n yo eve u r ag w o ain rk “I , d ing ’m or k.” do wo ing rk all .” th e

k!! ”

c L A N FI

,B ey

“H

a r ” te w! sis co r t ou fa “Y big

F I N

LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER

FOUL CATCHER

LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER

PEACE TEST

Time to test your knowledge. Read each question and fill in the blanks.

1. Name 2 core values: 2. Name of the peace role model who helped migrant farm workers: 3. Name one way to ‘Stay Cool’ when you’re angry: 4. Name 2 fouls: 5. Write 1 POV question: 6. Name 2 emotions: 7. Rephrase: “You got dirt all over my shoes.” 8. Name 2 parts of Kanji listening: 9. What number do you count to in a ‘Peace Breath’? 10. Name the peace method used when someone fouls you: 11. Name the first thing to say in an apology: 12. Name 2 parts of an I-message: 13. Name what ‘S’ stands for in STEP: 14. What are the first 3 words of a rephrase: 49

LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER

FOULS

Making Excuses

Blaming

Put Downs

Teasing

Threatening

Lying

Getting Even

Bossing

Interrupting

Hitting

Name Calling

Grabbing

Not Listening

LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER

VALUES

Trustworthiness Respect Responsibility Fairness Caring Citizenship Safety

Acceptance

Trust

Forgiveness

Sportsmanship

Cooperation 51

PEACE

INTERNATIONAL WORDS OF