Parentsguide2015

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2015

Parents Guide

Supplement to The Issaquah Press and Sammamish Review


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Parents Guide

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INSIDE HOT TOYS PAGE 4 Star Wars, robots and dinosaurs earn spots on this year’s Christmas must-have lists.

PAGE 19 PLAYTIME Playtime should incorporate elements that promote early childhood development.

GOT POT? PAGE 8 In the age of legalization, marijuana and kids might be a growing problem.

DISCIPLINE PAGE 20 Use discipline when doling out an appropriate punishment to your children.

BIRTHDAY PARTIES PAGE 12 Some easy and alternative ideas on how to throw a delicious celebration.

SIBLING BULLYING PAGE 22 Keep an eye out for these signs that sibling rivalry has become bullying.

SCHOOL LUNCHES PAGE 13 Here are some ways to make preparing the mid-day meal successful, not stressful.

ARTS EDUCATION PAGE 24 Exploring the arts is just as important as learning more about math and science.

BOOK LIST PAGE 14 It’s National Picture Book Month at the Issaquah Library.

GIRLS IN TECH PAGE 25 Simple ways to encourage girls to explore historically male-dominated fields.

MENTAL HEALTH PAGE 16 Mental health is an important part of a healthy youth.

STEM EDUCATION PAGE 26 How a technolgy emphasis develops skills and real-world problem solving.

GENERAL MANAGER Charles Horton

ADVERTISING Laura Feenstra Neil Buchsbaum Sandy Tirado Deanna Jess

A SPECIAL SECTION OF

COVER/PAGE DESIGN David Hayes

WRITERS Dylan Chaffin Christina Corrales-Toy Tom Corrigan Sam Kenyon Neil Pierson

1085 12th Ave. N.W., Suite D1 P.O. Box 1328 Issaquah, WA 98027 392-6434 Fax: 391-1541

www.issaquahpress.com

PHOTOGRAPHER Greg Farrar

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Parents Guide

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Greg Farrar

A radio remote-controlled inflatable Bob the Minion character from the ‘Despicable Me’ and ‘Minions’ movies talks his gibberish and rolls around floors and hallways.

HotToys Star Wars, robots and dinosaurs earn spots on Christmas must-have lists

By Tom Corrigan So what are going to be the hot toys for the coming Christmas season? The answer kind of depends on whom you talk to or what list you look at, though anything related to Star Wars shows up on multiple lists.

Toys R Us Up until recently, the Toys “R” Us website featured what the company’s experts felt would be the five biggest trends for the coming holiday.

For example, the first trend was dubbed “Age of the Dinosaurs.” Based on the hugely successful movie “Jurassic World,” the toy store predicted anything to do with dinosaurs was likely to be popular. That included toys directly related to the Jurassic World franchise as well as toys such as Dinotrux by Mattel. Other trends predicted to be popular included “Full Steam Ahead,” “Lil’ Sous Chefs in Training” and “Pets with Personality.” As of the last week or so, the trend list has been replaced with the official

Toys R Us Fabulous 15 list. The list includes a couple of Star Wars items, including a lightsaber and an interactive R2-D2. Robots make several additional appearances on the list, such as the Fisher-Price Imaginext Ultra T-Rex and the Meccano MeccaNoid Personal Robot. “The items on the Toys R Us Hot Toy List are carefully selected by our expert team of merchants who travel the globe, identifying, testing and tracking toys that we expect to top kids’ wish lists during the holiday season,” said Samantha Xenis, assistant manager of


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Safety tips from Toy Insider The Toy Insider website offers the following safety tips when it comes to toys and games.

By Greg Farrar

Kathy Munson, a longtime White Horse Toys employee, stands in front of the store which has been in business over 20 years at Gilman Village.

q All toy products should include a recommended age grade on the front of their package (i.e. 6 mo+, 3+, 6+ etc.). Manufacturers put it there for a reason, and often that reason is safety. This is especially true when it comes to toys with small pieces that can be ingested, hinges that can pitch or squeeze and products that need to be plugged in and/or electronics. q Always choose the right toy for your child’s age. By selecting toys that are age appropriate, children will not be disappointed or overchallenged and the toy will prove to be safe for their capabilities. q Make certain that children of different ages play with their

own toys. Be careful with toys purchased for older children when there are younger siblings in the home. Always make certain they are stored securely and kept out of the reach of the younger child when not in use. q Remove and discard packaging and plastic wrapping. Plastic wrap and bags can cause suffocation and sharp plastic ties and staples can cause injury. q If you have concerns with the way a toy you purchased is made, go back to the retailer or the manufacturer. Both should stand by their product as long as they are reputable (and most are). If a product you have purchased has been recalled, immediately take it away from your child and follow the manufacturer’s directions as stated on the recall notice.

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Parents Guide

Greg Farrar

A Ferris Wheel is just one of the projects in this 282-piece amusement park building kit by Roominate, which encourages girls to design, build, wire and customize toys with the aim of developing engineering, science and technology skills, for sale at White Horse Toys.

public relations for Toys R Us. For the complete list, visit http://tinyurl.com/ bmvotmf.

The Toy Insider

Greg Farrar

Rylan Weaver, 3, from Issaquah Highlands, enjoys his tryout of a PlasmaCar by PlaSmart at White Horse Toys in Gilman Village.

The Toy Insider website offers a trio of lists, including its Hot 20 and the more unusual Top Tech 21 and the STEM 10, with “STEM” standing for “Science, Technology, Engineering and Math.” “All our lists are based on play value for the price point,” said Linda Krebs, spokesperson for the Toy Insider website. The Toy Insider publishes its lists annually in Woman’s Day magazine as well as online. All in all, the website includes some 240 toy and gifts produced by 110 manufacturers. “The Toy Insider team

of experts reviews toys 365 days a year,” Krebs said in an email. “When evaluating toys, the team considers play value, originality, skill building, product integrity and, of course, fun factor.” The Stem 10 includes items such as the Vex Robotics Hexcalator Ball Machine, which kids build using snap together pieces. The finished machine moves balls in a loop around the machine. Might Makers: Fun on the Ferris Wheel allows kids to build a Ferris wheel and two carnival stands out of 324 pieces. More dinosaurs and robots made it to the Top Tech 12. Picks include the Crayola Easy Animation Studio and the MiPosaur. The latter is a robotic dinosaur that interacts with an included trackball.


Parents Guide For the complete Toy Insider lists go to, www.thetoyinsider. com.

White Horse Toys For over 20 years, White Horse Toys has been Issaquah’s own homegrown toy store. They specialize in educational and unusual toys, but two Star Wars toys top the list of likely best sellers among White Horse’s new offerings, said the store’s Kathy Munson. The Perplexus Death Star is similar to other Perplexus Mazes, Munson said. Kids must move and shake the Death Star sso that small balls fall into holes in the puzzle. Munson said she also expects a remote control R2-D2 to be a big seller, along with remote controlled, yellow Minion robots. The Minion figures are to two- to three-feet tall and talk, Munson added.

Other popular items should include Roominates, engineering toys aimed at getting girls interested in science and technology. Different kits allow kids to build townhouses, an amusement park and other items. Munson also talked about strategy games such as the “Settlers of Catan” or a newer game, “New York, 1901.” The store sells a number of traditional games such as “Clue,” “Monopoly” and “Risk.” The difference between the White Horse versions and what you might find elsewhere, is that White Horse stocks the original versions. Customer service is what Munson believes helps set White Horse apart from other toy stores. “We know our products,” Munson said, adding White Horse carries unusual items the big box stores just don’t. White Horse Toys is located

PAGE 7 NOVEMBER 2015

By Greg Farrar

Every inch of a portion of the 3,000 square-foot White Horse Toys store at Gilman Village is expertly stocked with hundreds of toys. in Gilman Village, 317 Gilman

Blvd., #13, Issaquah. Online, go

to www.whitehorsetoys.com.

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Parents Guide

Got pot?

In the age of legalization, marijuana and kids might be a growing problem By Neil Pierson Washington state residents approved the recreational use of marijuana three years ago. For parents, grandparents and legal guardians, the passage of Initiative 502 might have created some difficulties in how they keep marijuana out of the hands of minors. School officials have also had to look at ways to discourage drug use and keep marijuana out

of educational facilities. Among youth, marijuana use is actually down slightly state wide, according to Barbara de Michele, director of the Issaquah School Foundation’s Healthy Youth Initiative. She based that statement on numbers from the last Healthy Youth Survey done in 2014. Still, de Michele said the news is not all good. While the survey showed marijuana use had dropped slightly, it

also showed a drop in what de Michele called the “perception of harm.” “Teens, and actually the general public, are starting to believe that marijuana is not harmful, or at least no more harmful than alcohol,” de Michele said. According to a survey and work done by the Community Anti-Drug Coalitions of America, as the perception of harm goes down, use tends to rise within about two


Parents Guide years, said Pat Castillo, project coordinator for Influence the Choice - Drug Prevention Alliance for Youth. The group was formerly known as the Drug Free Community Coalition. Castillo said the message to parents and youth alike needs to be that marijuana is harmful to developing brains. The Washington Healthy Youth Survey is administered every two years and will be completed next in 2016. Locally, the Issaquah School District released results from the 2014 survey in March. The survey reached nearly 4,400 students in grades six, eight, 10 and 12 in October 2014. The survey featured 100 questions on a variety of topics, including drug and alcohol usage, bullying, fighting, sleeping patterns and sexual activity. Issaquah students reported using marijuana at any point in

their lives at lower rates than the state average. Thirty-eight percent of last year’s highschool seniors, and 18 percent of sophomores, reported using, compared with 46 and 29 percent statewide. However, nearly one-quarter of Issaquah’s high-school seniors reported having used marijuana within the previous 30 days, indicating many who used weed, have used the drug repeatedly. Among all grades, a lower number – 6 percent or less – said they used pot on school grounds. Survey participation rates

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By Greg Farrar

A display case holds glass marijuana pipes in colorful animal shapes at the Issaquah Cannabis Co. store.

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dropped as students got older. Among sixthgraders, 90 percent, or 1,356 students, answered questions, while only 59 percent, or 784 students, did so in 12th grade. While the Issaquah Cannabis Co. is the only marijuana retail store in either Issaquah or Sammamish, there are many others scattered around King County. The Issaquah Cannabis Co. passed a compliance check earlier this year in regard to underage sales. Here are some tips for keeping marijuana away from children.

Lock it up

There are numerous storage devices on the market that are small, indiscreet and inexpensive. LockMed (www.lockmed.

com) has a Kevlar bag with a combination lock for $34.99 that fits inside purses and briefcases, and is designed to store any type of prescription medicine. For added security, MedicusHealth (www. medicus-health.com) has a narcotics lock box for $99 that is made of stainless steel and features two separately-keyed locks.

Talk with your child

Seattle Children’s Hospital recommends talking to children about marijuana when they’re in fourth or fifth grade, since statistics show teen users often start by age 14. There are a variety of strategies for broaching the subject – ask your child what they know about marijuana, or if they know

it can be harmful to their health. Establish a family rule about drug usage. Practice social situations where a peer might offer a child marijuana. Above all, set a good example by not using pot or drinking heavily in front of your child.

Look for signs of drug use

Physical signs of drug use include dizziness, lack of coordination, bloodshot eyes and memory loss, but can also include less obvious things like using eye drops or burning incense to cover up odors. If you find out your child is using marijuana, it’s important to not overreact, Seattle Children’s advised. Keep calm, communicate and problem-solve together.

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One ounce of a sample of marijuana buds fills up a five-inch wide plastic tray.

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Virginia Mason

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Tips to throw delicious birthday parties for kids (StatePoint) Nothing beats the anticipation of your birthday when you are a child. And the most memorable birthdays of childhood are those filled with fun and surprises, including yummy, unforgettable treats. Here are some great ideas to make the day extra delicious, from three lifestyle and entertaining experts: Berry, Berry Good “Every family has their special touches that turn children into excitement charged little bees buzzing around

practically giddy with anticipation. For me, that was a can of whipped cream,” writes food and lifestyle expert Coryanne Ettiene, reflecting on her childhood in a recent posting on her Kitchen Living with Coryanne blog. “The moment I would open the fridge door and see that bright red top, my heart would nearly burst from happiness while I let dreams of whipped cream swirl in my head.” With this in mind, a favorite easy recipe for birthday party strawberry shortcake

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gives the dessert a mini makeover with individual frozen shortcake bites, says Ettiene, whose nostalgia for her sweet childhood memories led her to partner with Reddiwip on their summer #PartyReddi promotion, which challenges partiers to create recipes with the whipped topping. You can make Ettiene’s frozen bites by slicing strawberries across the waist (so the hole appears in the center), cutting small squares of angel food cake, and stacking them together with

colorful paper straws through the middle. Place them in the freezer for up to an hour and serve with a small bowl of Reddi-wip for dipping. Or for even quicker birthday treats, add a slice of berry and a slice of angel food cake to serving spoons and top with the whipped topping. Sundae Tea Party Inspired by the spirit of the tea parties most girls love so dearly, Dawn Sandomeno and Elizabeth Mascali, cofounders of The Party Bluprints Blog, are sharing tips for a tea

party with an ice cream sundae twist. This birthday party idea can be hosted indoors or out. Set a table with personal sundae stations for each guest. Each setting should have its own parfait glass with ice cream and three soup spoons or tasting spoons with toppings. Choose traditional options like sprinkles, mini-marshmallows, and flavored syrups or try something new like fresh fruit, pretzels or popcorn. Then add some fun by placing several cans of Reddiwip on the table so

each child can spritz her sundae herself. Just beware: whipped topping with real cream can go fast, especially with sugared-up fingers on the button, so have enough on hand. For a fun setting, build your tablescape on a coffee table and provide colorful pillows for seating. Polka dots and stripes can evoke the vibe of a retro sundae shop. Above all, show your child how special he or she is by celebrating the big day together. These memories can be the biggest treat of all.

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To make smart school lunches, think like a kid (StatePoint) Making school lunch can feel like a thankless job, but it doesn’t have to be a major chore. Here are some ways to make school lunches successful, not stressful: Don’t Over-Pack Does your child come home with untouched food? For a distracted youngster, lunchtime flies by in an instant. By the time the bell rings, little Suzie has barely peeled the top off her yogurt. Keep portions kid-sized and don’t include more than four or five items in the lunchbox. Think Food Groups

Think of the lunchbox as a four-piece puzzle. The basic components are protein, grain, fruit/vegetable and dairy. Try making lunch kebobs with cold cut slices and chunks of cheese (your dairy and protein groups), add a handful of grapes (fruit) and a bagful of popcorn (grain). Or pack hummus, carrots and wheat pita (protein, grain and veggie), along with applesauce (fruit) and a cheese stick (dairy). Olives or pickles add extra flavor without too much extra fat or calories. Let Them Assemble

Pack individual ingredients kids can assemble, which makes them feel like they’re more in control of what they eat. For example, include a half bagel with a container of shredded mozzarella, tomato sauce and some sliced olives or pepperoni slices so they can make their own pizza. Add a piece of fruit to round out the meal. Pick Portable Foods Nothing’s worse than a lunchbox explosion. Whenever possible, opt for dry foods and tight lids. Pack trail mix, dried fruit, granola bars or snacks

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in single-serve cups, such as Pearls Olives to Go! black ripe pitted or sliced olives. Such foods usually have the added advantage of not spoiling, which means they can be saved for afternoon snacking. Keep Snacks in the Car Kids always seem to want an afterschool snack. If home is a bit of a drive, keep snacks on hand. Nuts, trail mix, single-serve olive cups and fruit are better options for a ravenous child. Keep in mind, hungry kids are more likely to try novel foods they might otherwise be

reluctant to try. Get Input If your child is not eating enough, find out why. Ask your child to create a list of foods every few months, as tastes change and broaden. Add favorites to the rotation. Remember, just because your child eats a certain food at dinnertime doesn’t mean it will be a popular lunch item. Get Cute If you’re feeling ambitious, cut sandwiches into shapes. Sliced cherry tomatoes or olives make easy

eyes, buttons and mouths. A simple postit note with a smiley face or “love you” will go a long way to brightening your child’s day. For more tips, recipes and coupons, or to enter a lunch box promotion for a chance to win prizes, go to www.facebook.com/ PearlsOlives. Lunch isn’t rocket science, but creating meals children will love every day can get tricky. Simple strategies can help ensure kids return from school with empty lunch boxes and satisfied tummies.

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B OO K L I S T National Picture Book Month at the Issaquah Library By Ann Crewdson Children’s specialist Issaquah Library November is National Picture Book Month. It’s a time to celebrate the amazing contributions of authors and illustrators who make picture books come alive for our children. Picture books are not only entertaining but they also demonstrate how the world works to our very young by illustrating daily routine and sparking their imagination. Did you know that the American Library Association’s Randolph Caldecott medal has been honoring the best picture book of the year since 1938? Picture books with this gold seal of approval were carefully selected by a committee of children’s librarians from all over the U.S. Our choices will surprise you too. At Issaquah Library, King County Library System, we are fortunate to have such a vast collection of books that cover fourteen topics from animals, dinosaurs and sparkly books to feelings, life issues and our world. Rich in colors, style, technique and vocabulary—among many things, picture books delight, cheer, inspire and teach early literacy. Play an exciting game. Come into the library each week and guess which “famous friend” is featured to win a small prize. Ask at the reference desk for more information. Meanwhile, Dewey Bob, mummy cat, sloth and grandparents vie for your attention. Check out these new 2015 titles.

‘Tickle Monster ’ Edouard Marceau What’s the surefire way of getting rid of a ticklemonster? Tickle him right back, of course! Edouard Manceau shows toddlers another way to get rid of those pesky monsters which is just as fun as Ed Emberley’s die-cut pages for “Go Away Great Big Monster.” A colorful house, car, palm trees and a moon provide a clever setting.

‘Tallulah: Mermaid of the Great Lakes’ By Denise Brennan-Nelson Illustrated by Susan Kathleen Hartung This modern, updated version of “The Princess and the Pea” is one of the newest “sparklies” in our collection. Lily-Rose May’s dad cannot figure out why eating peas upsets her until he bikes to the library and sees the doctor who diagnoses her with princess-itis. The creative use of text, insets and footnotes will appeal to nonlinear readers and listeners. An absolutely hilarious and cautionary tale for both princesses and princes alike.

‘Llama, llama, Gram and Grandpa’ By Anna Dewdney

‘Thankful’ By Eileen Spinelli Illustrated by Archie Preston

The first overnight stay with Gram and Grandpa is a big event for little Llama Llama. With Fuzzy Llama and backpack in tote, worry is the last thing on his mind. But what happens when Fuzzy Llama goes missing? Llama Llama had been eating a snack, unpacking his sack and missing mama so much he didn’t know what happened. Luckily, Gram and Grandpa are smart grandparents with good ideas. This book focuses on the family and making “home away from home” fun.

With Thanksgiving approaching, “Thankful” is the perfect book to remind us all regardless of what age, that we all have reasons to be thankful. Simple, one-sentence rhymes, keeps the grateful steady beat from waitress, reporter, gardener to fireman, beekeeper, and pastor. Spinelli is best known for her forty books for children, mostly heart-warming and endearing.

‘Wolfie the Bunny ’ By Ame Dyckman Illustrated by Zachariah OHora ‘You Make Me Happy ’

By An Swerts Illustrated by Jenny Bakker

Sofia lives in Amsterdam. She loves gazing out the bedroom window, dreaming about space and drawing hearts. She finally confides to her Grandma and together Sofia, discovers why she can’t eat, she can’t breathe and her heart beats faster when she thinks about a boy in class. Soon Grandpa joins them on his dream boat and they figure out a way for Sofia to express herself.

Dot and her bunny parents have adopted a baby brother wolf. While her parents might find him adorable, Dot thinks she sees right through him as a dangerous, big, bad wolf. She warns her parents that he’d eat them all up but they paid no heed to her. She tried to warn her friends that he’d eat them all up and they screamed and ran away, hurting Wolfie’s feelings. Is Wolfie really a sensitive wolf capable of living among civilized bunnies or he is a carrot chomping beast ready to pounce of their family, the first chance he gets?


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‘Dewey Bob’ By Judy Schachner

‘Where Are My Books?’ By Debbie Ridpath Ohi

‘The Legend of the Beaver’s Tail’ By Stephanie Shaw

Collecting buttons can while away the time, especially if you’re Dewey Bob Crockett who was born in a pocket. When he wasn’t collecting buttons, he was trying to collect the moon. He would settle for living in a pair of large pants if it wasn’t for the big oak tree, the dump and the mountain of craft materials. Life as a lone raccoon was fine until one night when he went right to sleep instead of follow his nocturnal instinct. He woke up the next morning determined to collect friends and scared all the animals in his path. Not understanding friends aren’t things, Dewey Bob kept failing to make friends until mud ball came along and showed him the truth and beauty of opening your heart. Judy Schachner of “Skippyjon Jones” renown, will charm readers with her art, quotes and imagination.

Spencer knows exactly where he keeps his books so that he’d always find it the next night. So when his favorite book “Night-Night, Narwhal” goes missing, he’s suspicious. Then the next morning another book disappears and the next morning another one goes missing. Spencer’s sister is prime suspect but he has no proof. Then Spencer has a new plan which reveals the culprit would have to be someone close to nuts to take his books—literally. Can Spencer find the thieves? It might take laying some rules before he gets his books back. First time Canadian author, Ohi, has captured the spirit of libraries in this tale of books and wonder.

Illustrated by Gijsbert van Frankenhuyzen

‘Special Delivery’ By Philip C. Stead Illustrated by Matthew Cordell Sadie wants to mail an elephant to her Great-Aunt Josephine and discovers she doesn’t have enough stamps. This prompts her to visit Mary for her airplane, alligator for a ride on his back downriver and finally a train. In the next scene, Sadie and her elephant companion unexpectedly becomes part of a gang of monkey bandits. And why not make a stop by the ice-cream truck before visiting her eccentric aunt “who could really use company?” We find that Sadie’s had been corresponding for quite awhile and not only with her aunt.

In this tale of vanity and its consequences, Beaver is so preoccupied with his fluffy, beautiful, glorious tail, he drives all the woodland creatures away. Bragging doesn’t earn Beaver popularity points and they abandon him. Then, one day, while he was chewing chasing, looking and admiring his tail, the unthinkable happens. Beaver would never be the same again after his misfortune. It strikes him with humility. The question is—will the animals forgive him? Shaw has done an excellent job of translating this Ojibwe legend into a picture book. Rich with seasonal colors of oranges and browns, Frankenhuyzen’s style is warm, calm and balanced.

‘Dia De Los Muertos’ By Roseanne Greenfield Thong Illustrated by Carles Ballesteros

‘This Old Van’ By Kim Norman Illustrated by Carolyn Conahan

Come join the festivities in this bright and beautiful book about Dia de Los Muertos (The Day of the Dead). Rhyming Spanish and English words take us through the traditions and rituals that happen when spirits come back for their yearly return. Offerings of foods and possessions, guidance and light, are remarkably captured with endearing illustrations of families and friends remembering their loved ones. Ancestors are guests but clearly mix with the living as mariachi bands play through the streets and children dress like Elvis and Frida Kahlo.

With a little flower power, Grandma and Grandpa drive a VW bus to their destination with a click-clack rattle rack and a roof full of suitcases, stuffed animals and flowers. Add the tune of “This Old Man,” and the book is a sure page-turner. Visiting exciting places such as the construction site, hot fudge heaven and vroom county, gave them a flat tire but that doesn’t stop the grandparents. So many chubby and colorful cars on the road accompany them. A delightful read which acknowledges grandparents and their grandkids. Young readers won’t be disappointed once they’ve arrived at ten.

‘What a Wonderful World’ By Bob Thiele & George David Weiss Louis Armstrong’s timeless classic is recorded and revived in this lovely picture book by author Tim Hopgood who says he was inspired after his daughter finds the recording in a flea market. Bold lyrics as deep as Armstrong’s voice, follows a little boy through his journey from trees, a hot air balloon to a pony rides and an undersea dive with colorful marine animals. Drawings of hearts, butterflies and rainbows complete the pages with a positive message of love. Readers, young and old, can only think to themselves“what a wonderful world.”

‘Sloth Slept On ’ By Frann Preston-Gannon In this hilarious new book by Frann PrestonGannon, children find a sloth in their backyard but do not know what it is. After asking the animal questions such as, “what is your name?” and not getting anywhere, sloth is dragged like a teddy bear from a wagon to a living room full of identification books. Imaginations running high when they deduct what sloth may or many not be. Continuing in their scientific method, they find many facts about sloth. Can they return sloth to where he belongs before he wakes up? Comical pictures of a clueless creature in slumber will delight toddlers and preschoolers.


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By Greg Farrar

Courtney Bell, a youth and family therapist at the Issaquah office of Friends of Youth, stands in front of the building on Front Street in downtown Issaquah.

Mental health is important part of a healthy youth

By Christina Corrales-Toy A conversation about mental health is never easy. Maybe it’s because the subject is thrust into the headlines after every mass shooting, or maybe it’s the

fact that negative feelings are, in general, hard to talk about. Whatever it is, a stigma surrounds the topic. For youth and adolescents struggling with anxiety, depression and anger, one of the bravest things a person can do is get help,

said Courtney Bell, a youth and family therapist at Friends of Youth. “It takes a lot of courage to try and seek help,” she said. “Anybody can just kind of admit they have a problem and ignore it; it takes a lot more strength


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Parents Guide to do something about it.” Friends of Youth is one of two Issaquah School District partner organizations working to bring mental health counseling directly to the schools. Last year, Swedish Hospital added schoolbased mental health counselors to Skyline, Issaquah and Liberty high schools, while Friends of Youth has specialists at Beaver Lake and Maywood middle schools and offers drop-in services at schools in the Issaquah, Snoqualmie Valley and Riverview school districts. Friends of Youth also has an Issaquah office, where schools can refer students for further counseling. Still, having

on-site mental health counselors is a significant benefit that not all school districts get to experience, said Marie MacCoy, Friends of Youth’s director of youth and family services “It’s a real low barrier way to connect with students right where they are,” she said. Bell, who spends most of her time working out of the Issaquah Friends of Youth office, has had clients as young as 4 and as old as 21. She estimated that most of her clients fall in the 10-18 age range. In her interactions with local 13-year-old Jackson (his name was changed to protect his identity), Bell helped him understand his

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Charity Rise and Thrive Breakfast supports mental health counseling It’s been more difficult to find the money for onsite behavioral health professionals as state funding shrinks for schools, Friends of Youth CEO Terry Pottmeyer told The Issaquah Press in 2014. “A decade ago, the school districts had the funds to also partner with us and provide some of that financial support, but as the funding became more difficult for districts, they cut back on this because they needed to have the funds to go

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into other portions of the educational school day,” she said. One fundraising solution that Friends of Youth employs is a charity breakfast. In its third year, the breakfasts offered in three different school district communities raise behavioral health awareness and “raise funds to ensure that those services are available as much as possible within the school day,” Pottmeyer said. Attendees can give and hear from students who benefit from the onsite

counseling services at the Issaquah Rise and Thrive Breakfast, 7:30 a.m. Dec. 2 at Pickering Barn, 1730 10th Ave. N.W. Participants are encouraged to preregister in advance at www.friendsofyouth.org, though all will be welcomed on the day of the event. The breakfast is free, but donations are suggested. Thanks to community donations from last year’s breakfast fundraiser, Friends of Youth was able to add additional

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hours to the current counseling services provided during the school day. All proceeds from the event go directly to the programs supporting the Issaquah School District. “We would like to do as much as we can,” Pottmeyer said. “This breakfast allows us to say to the community, ‘We think this is important, and if you agree, let’s join together and do what we can to bring these services back into schools.’”


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Contributed

Friends of Youth CEO Terry Pottmeyer speaks at the organizations’ Rise and Thrive Breakfast at Issaquah’s Pickering Barn in 2014.

anger management issues. Jackson struggled to control his anger and would often act out, Bell said. His outbursts were mostly verbal, but could get physical at times. “He would go play basketball and then he would lose a game, or it wouldn’t go well, and he would get really upset and the whole car ride home it would be just this explosion of anger,” she said. Bell’s task was to get him to recognize his emotions and regulate them. She worked with family members, too, helping them notice warning signs of angry outbursts and guiding them toward an effective, helpful response in those situations. In another case, Bell helped 16-year-old Annie (her name was changed to protect her identity) process her depressive feelings. “She felt actively suicidal at times, she had some estranged relationships with her family members and she was feeling kind of isolated,” Bell said. Bell taught Annie to recognize the warning symptoms for depression and helped her identify people in her life who she could really lean on for support. It isn’t easy for anyone going through a difficult time to seek help; but there are a few signs that parents can look for to determine if their child might benefit from mental health counseling, Bell said. Isolation is a big one. Your normally active

child is suddenly not engaging in his or her typical activities, or he or she is spending a lot of time alone. Irritability is another sign, though it’s harder to determine if counseling would benefit since teenagers are “generally kind of angsty,” Bell said. But look out for a greater frequency of irritable behavior, or surprisingly negative reactions around certain topics. “They’re talking about school, and suddenly their kid gets super angry, that might be a sign that something is going on at school that should be addressed,” Bell said. It’s important that parents check in with their children and ask if everything is OK, Bell said. Depending on the relationship, the child could disclose the issue, or push the parent away. If a child says everything is fine, an effective parent response would be to say, “OK, I just want you to know that I’m here for you if you need me,” Bell suggested. “If you ask, ‘What do you need right now,’

maybe they can give you an answer, maybe they can’t, but that’s a sign to them that you’re tuned in to them and you’re trying to help them,” Bell said. Whether it’s the stress of family life, the anxiety to achieve academic success or peer pressure, children these days have a lot on their shoulders, MacCoy said. There is no shame in seeking help when overwhelmed. Therapy can be a scary thing, and counselors understand that, Bell said. “We’re asking you to come in here and tell us your deep and darkest secrets and you don’t know us; there’s a lot of vulnerability involved with that,” she said. But she asks all of her clients to go into it with an open mind. “Know that (the therapist) is someone who’s really trying to help you,” she said. “It’s not their job to make judgments, like what you’re doing is right or wrong, they’re just here to help you process what’s going on and help you come up with coping skills.”

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Ways to nurture early childhood development (StatePoint) From the nursery to the playroom, playtime should be safe and fun. But experts say that beyond these considerations, these spaces should incorporate elements that promote early childhood development. “Infancy and preschool years are a crucial time of children’s lives, when they are developing new motor, cognitive, language and social skills,” said Dr. Lise Eliot, early brain development expert. “Toys should provide multisensory experiences that engage and cultivate a

love of learning from a very young age, while delivering the developmental benefits appropriate for each child’s age and stage.” To encourage growth and enrich children’s play experiences, consider these tips: q Include books in the playroom and read often to your child. Doing so will demonstrate well before the school years begin that reading is not just for the classroom, but also a recreational activity that can and should be done for fun. Look ahead by adding books that will be age-appropriate in the

future. q Development happens extremely rapidly, so seek out learning toys that grow with children. For example, the Sit-toStand Ultimate Alphabet Train, which teaches letters, numbers, colors and vocabulary, can be used for floor play or a ride on. Once babies are on their feet, it can be transformed into a walker or a wagon that can be pulled, helping to build motor skills. q Kids are never too young to develop an appreciation for music. Babies can start by playing with tambourines,

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maracas, toy keyboards and other fun musical toys. Child-sized instruments can improve handeye coordination and rhythm, and set kids up for lifelong musical inspiration. q Create safe zones in your house where kids can have free reign to play and explore. “The more opportunity children have for physical exertion and exploration, the better for the development of both their minds and bodies,” Eliot said. q Focus on giving preschool age kids a head start on their education. Provide them with

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fun ways to get started, such as the Write & Learn Creative Center, which features animated demonstrations to teach proper stroke order for uppercase and lowercase letters, as well as drawing activities to inspire skills and creativity in young artists. q Foster language and social skills by spending time each day playing together. The interactions you share are key to cognitive and emotional development as well as social and emotional growth. Research has proven that early two-way conversations

with babies and young children are critical to their own speech and reading development. To encourage social skills and prepare young children for preschool, set up play dates with friends. For more playful ideas, parenting tips and information about early childhood development, go to www.vtechkids.com/ milestones. By incorporating these elements and toys that nurture a range of critical cognitive and physical skills, you can make playtime not only fun, but functional.

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Parents Guide

Use discipline when doling out an appropriate punishBy Sam Kenyon

Greg Farrar

Karyn Ellis, a child mental health specialist at Dayspring Behavioral Health in Issaquah, has plenty of art supplies and board games for youngsters to express themselves with. Parents who have to discipline their child should remain calm and control their emotions, she says. ‘Be a robot… nothing is going to be solved by you escalating your child.’

“I’m going to count to three.” A stranger levels this warning to his or her child and anyone watching immediately knows what’s happening. Disciplining a child is a universal concept of parenting, but that doesn’t make it easy. It’s a full-time, lifelong task filled with complex emotional volatility. “When you’re a parent you have to be always engaged,” said Karyn Ellis, a child mental health specialist at Dayspring Behavioral Health in Issaquah. “You can’t pick and choose the right moment for you to be tuned in to your kids.” Ellis said that parents who have to discipline their child should remain calm and control their emotions. “Be a robot,” she said. “Nothing is going to be solved by you escalating your child.” Carol Airone, who has her own private counseling practice in Issaquah, agrees. She said that one of the first steps for effective discipline is to check any anger a parent might feel in the heat of the

moment. “Number one is: buy yourself time,” Airone said. “Because you are really upset, they’re probably really upset. You can say ‘you’re grounded until you’re 35’ and then you have to go back and say ‘I think I overreacted a little bit.’” Parents can step away for a few moments allowing them and their child to cool off. Then, when passions are lower, they can better choose the most appropriate consequences. When it comes time to administer the specifics of those consequences, Ellis said there are no universal protocols. Each child is different. But parents can use that to their advantage. “You know your kid’s trigger point or their weakness, or what influences them,” Ellis said. “That’s what you need to use.” This means that discipline has to grow as the child grows. What is appropriate for at five isn’t appropriate at 15. “When you hit those teen years, it’s more about giving options, letting them make decisions,” Ellis said.


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Parents Guide Ellis is a believer in natural consequences as punishment for children of all ages, but teenagers in particular. If a child waits until the last minute, staying up late to do their homework, they have to live with the bad grades. “I know sometimes as a parent you might want to always consistently stay up with them or hold their hand through certain things,” Ellis said. “But at some point a parent can’t stay up all night every night helping their kids.” It can be difficult for some parents to watch their child make mistakes that could have been avoided. But doing everything

on behalf of the child hinders their ability to grow independently. The child might be upset at the lack of help, but that’s okay too. “I think a lot of parents in today’s culture kind of get afraid of that, or they want to be their kid’s friend,” Ellis said. “But it’s okay for your kids to not like you all the time.” Good parenting isn’t done in a day; it’s done over a lifetime of moments. The groundwork a parent does with their child is far more important than a temporary disciplinary action. “You make trust deposits in a bank,” Airone said.

PAGE 21 NOVEMBER 2015

A parent must be consistent. Making time for the child and establishing a loving and trusting relationship means that when the time comes, the discipline is more effective. “You’ve got to follow through,” Airone said. “Then what you say holds so much more weight.” No matter how difficult, the job ultimately falls on the parent to provide a consistent and stable relationship with their child. Airone said that if the parent regularly overreacts, or doesn’t follow through, their credibility in the eyes of their child is weakened. “We teach our kids not to trust us.”

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Greg Farrar

Carol Airone, of Airone Counseling in Issaquah, allows young people to pick characters and objects from shelves full of figurines and play with them in a sandbox. ‘Depending on what the pick and how they play it helps me figure out what’s going on, and they can see what’s going on.’

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When sibling rivalry becomes sibling bullying (StatePoint) Bullying outside the home makes headlines daily, but sibling bullying can happen under one’s own roof, and can be misperceived as normal, say experts. “Sibling rivalry and sibling abuse are two separate things,” says Pam Franklin, author of “My Five Sisters,” a memoir of the author’s challenging childhood. “Mental health issues are both at the root of these problems, and can also perpetuate them.” Franklin, who was

psychologically and physically abused by her mentally ill older sister, has turned her story into a unique exploration of how dangerous sibling abuse can become if not addressed. She feels her story could help others and is offering insights to those attempting to identify whether behaviors they have witnessed are normal or problematic: q While all siblings are inclined to bicker or compete, a supreme imbalance of power that

threatens the mental or physical safety of a particular child is not acceptable and should be addressed. Observe your children and ask other responsible parties, such as babysitters and relatives, for feedback on what they’ve seen or heard. q Keep in mind that many children won’t normally share problems occurring at home, fearing retribution from abusers or possessing anxiety that no one will believe them. Many

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disorders are much more common than DID and can also have larger ramifications. In fact, 10 percent of the population today takes antidepressants and many more have undiagnosed issues. If you have concerns, talk to your child’s pediatrician about next steps. Without treatment, gaining control of a condition is difficult or even impossible q Don’t let your family’s financial situation be a deterrent towards getting needed help. Counseling services are available at every price point and some clinics have a sliding scale pay structure based on income. For victims and abusers alike, treatment is one of the only paths towards leading a functional, healthy life. More information can be found at www. PamFranklin-author.com. Kids will be kids, but that doesn’t mean everything that occurs between them is harmless. Take conflicts between siblings as seriously as you would between your child and his or her classmates.

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such children become masters at hiding their feelings. Don’t ignore signs. Pursue the matter until you discover the truth. Even if there are no visible issues, regularly talking to your children about their thoughts and feelings is fundamental. q Write down troubling symptoms to share with your child’s doctor or therapist. A listing of behaviors can help healthcare professionals make a proper diagnosis. For example, Franklin’s sister and tormenter suffered from Dissociative Identity Disorder, (DID, previously known as Multiple Personality Disorder). Affecting only 0.01 to one percent of the population, DID is a severe form of dissociation characterized by the presence of two or more distinct identities or personality states that have power over a person’s behavior and can be accompanied by mood swings, sleep disorders, panic attacks, compulsions and psychotic-like symptoms. q Some mental health

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Arts education just as crucial as math and science (StatePoint) Science, Technology, Engineering and Math — known collectively as STEM — has been the buzz phrase for educators for some time. But, with many school districts eliminating art, music and other humanities classes, there has been a recent push by educators to change the focus from STEM to STEAM, and add arts back into the mix for a more well-rounded education. “Many experts agree that STEAM education is a great way to engage children of all ages in

creative play, discovery and learning,” says Dr. Eric Klopfer, Platform Learning Expert and member of the Expert Panel at VTech, a world leader in age-appropriate and developmental stage-based electronic learning products for children. Whatever the present academic focus of your local school district is, you can help support a more comprehensive education for your children at home, while making it fun. Here’s how to incorporate STEAM learning into your children’s playtime.

Art Time The school day may not offer daily opportunities for creativity to flourish, but you can turn the playroom at home into an artist’s studio. Keep on hand arts and crafts supplies such as glue, construction paper, glitter, scissors, string and paint. Take a trip to a museum or gallery and learn about different artists and styles to get kids inspired. New Technologies Handing over your expensive, breakable

as creative onboard apps such as Movie Maker and Art Studio. The apps feature a wide curriculum of language arts and reading, math, science, social studies, problem solving and creativity, that have been reviewed by a panel of education and child development experts. Music Participation in music education has been proven to improve grades in STEM subjects. Not only that, it’s a ton of fun.

If your school offers opportunities such as band or chorus, encourage your kids to get involved. If arts programs are scarce, invest in a keyboard or guitar for the home. Even if private music lessons are out of the budget, there are plenty of online tutorials that can help with the basics. While there’s no doubt that math and science comprehension are critical, education experts advise parents to support an interdisciplinary approach to learning that incorporates the arts as well.

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mobile technology to your young children may not sound ideal for on-the-go learning, but there are durable tablets built for children that support learning apps combining STEM subjects with the arts. For example, InnoTab MAX, VTech’s most powerful and versatile 7-inch tablet, features access to more than 650 educator-supported apps, including hand-picked Android learning games and age-appropriate learning software and content through VTech’s Learning Lodge, as well

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Take time to inspire young girls to dream big (StatePoint) For parents, encouraging children to dream big is part of the job description. And while more doors are now open for women in historically male-dominated fields like science, technology and sports, for parents with daughters it’s more important than ever to drive home the “you can do anything” message. While you can’t be there all the time, when you’re together, you can do your best to steer the conversation in ways that inspire. The experts at VTech, an award-

winning electronic toy manufacturer that is introducing a revolutionary range of dolls for girls called Flipsies, are offering a few tips to help parents find ways that they can empower their girls to follow their dreams and aspire for more:

media with positive messaging, cultural value or a lesson. Together, look for shows and books that feature women following their dreams. Read the newspaper and talk about articles illustrating women doing great things.

Talk about it

Innovate play time

Everything your child consumes, from television to books to magazines, becomes part of her consciousness. Monitor what your daughter watches and reads, and encourage her to choose

The way children play can be very influential to their development and self-esteem, and toy makers are catching on that parents are looking for more in their children’s toys. Parents can

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take advantage of new trends in toy design that infuse interactive technology with classic role play to encourage engaging, imaginative play. A new line of dolls and playsets, Flipsies, encourages young girls ages four and up to let their dreams shine and be anything they want to be, whether it’s a doctor, marine biologist, baker, rock star or veterinarian. Each of the eight dolls in the range has talents and big ambitions -- from Eva, a pet lover who dreams of

being a veterinarian to Styla, a confident DIY-er and aspiring fashion designer. The dolls wear a charm with special powers to “flip” their dreams into reality, encouraging girls with the message that they can do the same. Be a role model Surround your daughter with positive role models. From her basketball coach to her teacher to you, children look to grownups for guidance and often model their behavior. If possible, consider

taking your daughter to your workplace or along on volunteer projects so she can see what you do during the day. Talk to her teacher about participating in a career day at school. For empowering activities, games, quizzes and webisodes for girls, and more parenting tips and resources, go to www.Flipsies.com. From the toys your child plays with to the media she consumes, you can inspire your daughter’s happiness and success by directing positive messaging her way.

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STEM education provides students necessary skills By Dylan Chaffin It’s no surprise that kids at the K-5 school level simply learn better through hands-on experimenting than they do at their desks, combing through textbooks and responding to questions posed by a teacher. In addition, the shift to science and technology-driven curriculums over the past two decades or so have provided a reason to foster and grow that youthful curiosity, starting with engaging students who are disinterested in traditional class-

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room environments. Dan Schlotfeldt, Director of Elementary Education for the Snoqualmie Valley School District says that STEM education—short for science, math, engineering, and technology— provides the necessary skills for higher-level problem solving and tackling real world issues. The district has implemented several programs, including Project Lead The Way, which has been in effect for a little over a year for all of the district’s fifth graders. Project Lead the Way pro-

vides an oppurtunity for students to learn skills such as coding and robotics. There’s no hard data for success rates with the program in its infancy, but Schlotfeldt said teachers are sharing stories of students who became engaged once learning shifted to projectbased experiments. But the program isn’t without some challenges, Schlotfeldt added. “The challenge for the elementary teachers is that they have to prepare in up to nine areas every day—social studies,

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Greg Farrar

Student Paige Ference learns she can hold a bubble in a soapy hand rather than a dry hand because of surface tension, in an experiment provided by Bellevue College students during the Issaquah Valley Elementary Science Fair in 2014.

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Parents Guide English, math, history—but we’ve seen a great shift to smallgroup based instruction, and hands-on activities that increase interaction,” he said. The district also has a Highly Capable program with a STEM focus for gifted students. Identifying students for this program begins as early as kindergarten, Schlotfeldt said, and students who are determined to fall into the guidelines are able to participate in a magnet program at Snoqualmie Elementary School as second-graders. The need for STEM

workers is growing, according to a 2010 U.S. Department of Commerce report. At the time, there were 7.6 million STEM workers in the U.S., representing 1 in 18 workers. STEM jobs are projected to grow by 17 percent between 2008 and 2018, and that’s not all. STEM employees command higher wages, hold higher-level college degrees and hold higher job security than their counterparts do. Researchers from the University of California-Irvine confirm that early math skills are better predictors of later academic success than reading

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is, and fostering these skills ensures students and future workers have a more competitive edge in the job market. A report by the Successful STEM Education Initiative says that approximately 40 percent of U.S. children are not ready for kindergarten, and that by the time students reach the fourth grade, they lack the necessary skills in science and math. Only 34 percent of fourth graders achieved a score of “at or above proficient” on the science portion of the National Assessment of Educational Progress. Progress is some-

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what skewed for the Snoqualmie Valley School District, where 6,657 students were enrolled across the district for the 2014-2015 school year, according to a district report. End of course exams in 2013 revealed that 81 percent of students met or exceeded standards in math at the third grade level and 88 percent of students at the fifth grade level met or exceeded standards in science. But exams aligned with Common Core standards revealed students were only meeting or exceeding standards at the third grade level by 68 percent in math

in 2014-2015. In science, however, fifth grade students met or exceeded Common Core standards at 85 percent. So what can be done to make sure students are engaged and well prepared for the real world? The Successful STEM Education Initiative says it’s important for all early childhood stakeholders to come together and create a strong, smooth continuum of STEM programs for students as young as kindergarteners through third-graders. Programs like these would include: q Sufficient time spent on STEM learn-

ing, every step of the way from pre-K to grade three and beyond. q Research-based curricula that make use of learning trajectories to progressively build a child’s skills and knowledge. q STEM-focused play and hands-on learning in formal and informal settings that gives children free rein to explore STEM, guided by knowledgeable educators. q Collaboration among pre-K programs, schools, informal learning environments, and families focused on enhancing children’s STEM learning.

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