Isthmus: Dec 17-23, 2015

D E C E M B E R 1 7-2 3 , 2 0 1 5

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VOL. 40 NO. 50

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MADISON, WISCONSIN

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■ WHAT TO DO

■ CONTENTS 4 SNAPSHOT

COOKIES’ FORTUNE

The mysterious disappearance of a newfound love.

6-9 NEWS

SNOW BUSINESS

Fans of silent sports speak out against trail proposal.

11 TECH

BLASTS FROM THE PAST

Bursts of radio energy are a cosmic mystery.

12 OPINION MICHANA BUCHMAN

3

AARON R. CONKLIN

15

COVER STORY AARON CONKLIN IS our hero of the week. While laid up in a hospital bed awaiting surgery after an unfortunate fall, he finished writing two stories for Isthmus, including this week’s cover on Matt Sloan, the voice of Darth Vader in commercials, videogames and animated TV shows. A “proud member of the Star Wars generation,” Aaron saw the film in the theater when it first came out and played with most of the original Star Wars toys.

He thinks he still has the land speeder.

CONTENTS IF YOU FIND YOURSELF chuckling over the clever puns and turns of phrase in the table of contents and “What to Do” section, you have associate editor Michana Buchman to thank.

An Isthmus staffer since, as she puts it, “the Paleolithic era,” she also copyedits all of our content. Her favorite quotation: “The strongest drive is not love or hate. It is one person’s need to change another’s copy.”

NO NEWS IS BAD NEWS

Loss of county beat reporters hurts everyone.

15 COVER STORY

MAY THE FARCE BE WITH YOU

Matt Sloan parlays his stint as Chad Vader into a (modest) empire.

21 NIGHTLIFE

THE BIG COUNTDOWN

Best places to ring in the new year.

23-28 FOOD & DRINK

TRUE GRITS

Julep does justice to its Southern roots.

PAPA KNOWS BEST

Book captures Hemingway’s drinking life.

30-31 SPORTS

WE’RE NUMBER TWO!

2015 was the year of the runner-up.

33 ART

A MAJOR AWARD

Alumni donate sculpture collection to the Chazen.

34 BOOKS

RACCOON RACONTEUR

New bio profiles the author of beloved Rascal.

ANN SHAFFER

4

SNAPSHOT ANN SHAFFER’S FIRST piece for Isthmus, back in 1990, was about a piano tuners convention. She takes readers on a similarly quirky jaunt in this week’s Snapshot, as she tracks down the mysterious disappearance of her favorite almond cookies from the shelves of Metcalfe’s Market. Her poems have appeared in Poetry and she is also the author of a textbook about Microsoft Word.

36 STAGE

DANCING QUEEN

Li Chiao-Ping celebrates 20 years in Madison.

38 SCREENS

A WHALE OF A TALE

In the Heart of the Sea is a gale-force epic.

48 EMPHASIS

MINIMALIST MERCHANDISE

Drunk Lunch on East Johnson: It’s not a museum.

IN EVERY ISSUE 8 MADISON MATRIX 8 WEEK IN REVIEW 12 THIS MODERN WORLD 13 FEEDBACK 13 OFF THE SQUARE

40 ISTHMUS PICKS 49 CLASSIFIEDS 50 P.S. MUELLER 50 CROSSWORD 51 SAVAGE LOVE

PUBLISHER Jeff Haupt ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER Craig Bartlett BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT DIRECTOR Mark Tauscher EDITOR Judith Davidoff NEWS EDITOR Joe Tarr ASSOCIATE EDITOR Michana Buchman FEATURES EDITOR Linda Falkenstein ARTS & CULTURE EDITOR Catherine Capellaro MUSIC & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Jon Kjarsgaard STAFF WRITER Allison Geyer CALENDAR EDITOR Bob Koch ART DIRECTOR Carolyn Fath STAFF ARTISTS David Michael Miller, Tommy Washbush CONTRIBUTORS John W. Barker, Dylan Brogan, Kenneth Burns, Dave Cieslewicz, Nathan J. Comp, Aaron R. Conklin,

ISTHMUS is published weekly by Red Card Media, 100 State Street, Suite 301, Madison, WI 53703 • Edit@isthmus.com • Phone (608) 251-5627 • Fax (608) 251-2165 Periodicals postage paid at Madison, WI (ISSN 1081-4043) • POSTMASTER: Send address changes to 100 State Street, Suite 301, Madison, WI 53703 • © 2015 Red Card Media, LLC. All rights reserved.

If you must be picky, the winter solstice is Dec. 21, 10:49 pm CST, but don’t let that stop you from celebrating the passing of the longest night of the year on three different days: Fri., Dec. 18, Aldo Leopold Nature Center, 6:30-8:30 pm (solstice traditions from around the globe, yule log, winter hike); Sat., Dec. 19, 3-6 pm, Rainbow Bookstore (double-duty as an end-of-semester party, with cookies, mulled cider, crafts, silent auction and Harvey the Cat); Tues., Dec. 22, Olbrich Park, 4 pm-? (bonfire at 4:30 pm; ice lanterns, hot chocolate and cider, drumming, giant puppets — you know, east-side stuff).

Finding your story Sat., Dec. 19, Memorial Library, 728 State St., 8:30 am-4:30 pm

Journalist, novelist and poet Thulani Davis, author of My Confederate Kinfolk: A Twenty-First Century Freedwoman Discovers Her Roots, will help you tell your personal story at this lecture/workshop presented by the African American Genealogy Society.

Wookies welcome Fri., Dec. 18, Madison Children’s Museum, 6-10 pm

This month’s Adult Swim rides the wave of Star Wars mania with such stellar interstellar activities as a Jedi Training Academy and Star Wars origami, plus live music by the Smashin’ Cantina Band!

Rap ’n’ read Tues., Dec. 22, Central Library, 2-3 pm

Join Madison’s own rapper/poet/ actor Rodney “F. Stokes” Lucas at this launch party celebrating the release of his children’s book, Block Party, which stars a child rapper named Rappin’ Ricky who teaches through hip-hop.

FIND MORE ISTHMUS PICKS ON PAGE 40

DECEMBER 17–23, 2015 ISTHMUS.COM

Ruth Conniff, André Darlington, Marc Eisen, Erik Gunn, Bob Jacobson, Seth Jovaag, Stu Levitan, Bill Lueders, Liz Merfeld, Andy Moore, Bruce Murphy, Kyle Nabilcy, Kate Newton, Jenny Peek, Michael Popke, Adam Powell, Katie Reiser, Jay Rath, Gwendolyn Rice, Dean Robbins, Robin Shepard, Sandy Tabachnick, Denise Thornton, Candice Wagener, Rosemary Zurlo-Cuva ADVERTISING PRODUCTION MANAGER Todd Hubler ADVERTISING MANAGER Chad Hopper ADVERTISING ASSISTANT Laura Miller ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES Lindsey Dieter, Peggy Elath, Amy Miller WEB ANALYST Jeri Casper CIRCULATION MANAGER Tom Dehlinger MARKETING DIRECTOR Chris Winterhack EVENT DIRECTORS Kathleen Andreoni, Courtney Lovas EVENT STAFF Sam Eifert EVENT INTERN Megan Muehlenbruch ADMINISTRATIVE DIRECTOR Kathy A. Bailey OFFICE MANAGER Julie Butler SYSTEMS MANAGER Thom Jones ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT Carla Dawkins

Spring is just around the corner

3

n SNAPSHOT

The great almond cookie chase

Kathleen Torbleau works in the background at Hilldale’s Metcalfe Market while fresh-baked almond cookies await packaging.

ISTHMUS.COM DECEMBER 17–23, 2015

BY ANN SHAFFER n PHOTO BY LAUREN JUSTICE

4

A trip to Metcalfe’s Market at Hilldale is overwhelming: a vast wilderness of locally sourced cheese, imported pasta and Del Monte peaches. To survive, I ignore the bounty and return for the same items every trip, like a squirrel gathering walnuts and only walnuts.

But occasionally something I can’t ignore appears on the consumer landscape, the way a puffball mushroom materializes overnight on a lawn. On a recent visit to Metcalfe’s, I noticed a clear package of cookies labeled with a photograph of almonds and the word “Almond” in plain text. Normally, I wouldn’t be interested in store-bought cookies. I’ve spoiled my husband and son with home-baked treats for years, so they tend to turn up their noses at anything in a package. But these sugardusted gems were rounded, like ravioli, and interestingly irregular around the edges.

They actually looked homemade.

I couldn’t resist. I bought a package and returned home for the most delicious coffee break I’d had in a while. The tender cookies, filled with marzipan, were perfection. My

first thought was to try to repliand never stops moving. Over Cost of a package of cate them myself. I dove into my the years I’ve seen him cleanAlmond cookies: cookbooks and even pulled out ing up spills, bagging grocermy mother’s old recipe cards, ies and setting up displays of $4.99 looking for something I could small-batch jams.

Weight of one use as a starting point. Maybe an I described the cookies to unbaked cookie: old-fashioned sugar cookie with him. “So did you make them 1.5 OZ almond paste worked into the appear on the shelf?” I asked, dough? awestruck that one person Types of cookies sold But after several tries, I realcould have such power. at Metcalfe’s Market, ized I couldn’t improve on the “A new product usually starts Hilldale, approximately: Metcalfe’s version. So I went with me, but a lot of people are 500 back to the store…and back… involved,” Jim explained. “Supand back. I was in heaven until, pliers stop by and bring us one day, tragedy struck: no more “Almond” things to try. If I can hand them out to employcookies. The display shelf was filled with plain ees to share with their families I do that. We try old peanut butter bars. to find out if we think it will sell.”

What strange force had brought the cook- “So what’s the story with almond cookies, ies there and then spirited them away? It was exactly?” I asked, steering the conversation time to investigate. I stopped by the customer back to what really mattered. service desk to talk to Jim Meier, Metcalfe’s “I can’t say for sure. We have so many new sales director, who is, according to his name products every month. But we could walk over tag, in his “15th Year of Service” at the store. and talk to the bakery manager.”

Like most Metcalfe’s employees, he wears Off we went at top sales-director speed, past a white shirt with a Granny Smith green tie the checkout counters, Jim adjusting things

on shelves as we moved. Robin Elliot, the bakery manager (“7th Year of Service”) was busy, but took a moment to chat. At first she didn’t remember the almond cookies.

But then it came to her.

“Oh, right. They come frozen in a big bag from Jacqueline’s Gourmet Cookies, like hockey pucks,” she says. “We still have some in the freezer.”

“You mean you bake them here? And package them yourselves?” I asked, my heart racing.

“Yep,” she said, wiping her hands on her apron. Her black baker’s jacket was specked with flour. “I should probably make a batch next week.”

“And then they’ll be out on the shelves where anyone can buy them?”

She smiled warmly. “Sure.”

There you have it. My little grocery store discovery, which seemed so mysterious, was actually the result of bustling human activity — like the kind you see in a Richard Scarry children’s book. People doing their jobs. People doing their jobs well. The most ordinary thing in the world. And yet, a kind of miracle. n

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n NEWS

Trailblazing Proposed snowmobile path at Blue Mound park upsets “silent” recreationists

ISTHMUS.COM DECEMBER 17–23, 2015

Rising from a secluded valley to the highest point in southern Wisconsin, Blue Mound State Park has long been popular with outdoors lovers and solitude seekers.

Cross country skiers, hikers and more recently mountain bikers have come to the 1,150-acre park for its variety of trails and unique geology. The ancient dolomitecapped mound tops out at 1,716 feet high and is visible from 40 miles away on a clear day.

But a new draft master plan amendment that calls for spending $180,000 on a gravel multi-use trail through the eastern section of the park, along with closing a challenging 4-mile single-track mountain bike route, is drawing fire on several fronts.

The most controversial component is the opening of a 1.4-mile snowmobile route, a move critics say would compromise the park’s silent sports tradition “Once the bulldozers start knocking down trees to construct a snowmobile trail through the park there is no turning back,” says Karl Heil, former superintendent at Blue Mound State Park who played a key role in improving the skiing and mountain bike trails at the park.

Heil, who retired in 2011, says the proposed crushed limestone trail is a poor use of scarce resources at a time when the Legislature is ordering state parks to be financially self-sustaining.

While the new trail is billed as “multiuse,” Heil thinks it is clearly designed for one politically connected group of motor sports enthusiasts. The lobby does appear to have an ally in Department of Natural Resources Secretary Cathy Stepp, an appointee of Gov. Scott Walker, whose bio notes she is an avid snowmobiler.

Heil notes that snowmobile trails in southern Wisconsin were open for just 35 days over the past three winters due to lack of snow cover. “It’s a lot of money and a lot of disruption for something that is only going to be used a few days a year,” he says.

6

The DNR initiated a review of all trails at Blue Mound following a 2014 request from area snowmobile clubs to facilitate a better connection from the north end of the park to the Military Ridge State Trail. Snowmobiles are allowed in state parks on a caseby-case basis, and advocates note a designated route crossed Blue Mound back in the 1980s.

“All we’re asking for is what we had before,” says Sam Landes, director of the Dane County chapter of the Association of Wisconsin Snowmobile Clubs.

Paul Zajackowski, director of state parks for southwestern Wisconsin, says the DNR is working to accommodate existing users while encouraging more people to check out the splash pool and visitor shelter add-

Mountain bikers, meanwhile, are upset about DNR plans to close the Overlode Trail, a technical section of trail in the most secluded portion of the park. The trail is used by experienced mountain bike riders along with “fat tire” winter cyclists who use wider tires to negotiate snow cover.

That Overlode Trail was built eight years ago, in part with a $10,000 donation from outdoor retailer REI, according to Capitol Off Road Pathfinders, a group involved in mountain bike trail development in the Madison area.

The DNR has recommended closing the Overlode Trail to all users, including hikers, because of concerns about soil erosion and the impact on threatened plants and animals — most notably the native bat population, which is facing challenges due to white nose syndrome.

But Zajackowski says there is a possibility of a compromise on the Overlode Trail if the DNR can work with the mountain bike community to reduce the impact on flora and fauna. “Any trail there needs to be susWISCONSIN DEPARTMENT OF RESOURCES tainable,” he says.

Some treasure the state park for its solitude and unique geology.

While the public comment period on the draft master plan closed this week, Zajackowski says there will be time for addied recently. The park counts about 175,000 Wisconsin had 237,803 snowmobiles regis- tional input before the final plan moves to visitors annually, and Zajackowski says there tered in 2014, second only to Minnesota, with the Natural Resources Board in early 2016. is room for more.

258,000.

That panel must approve any changes to “You don’t want to love it to death, but it we To help cover the costs of fuel and equip- DNR policy. would like to accommodate all kinds of recre- ment for grooming snowmobile trails, the clubs Two years ago, a DNR proposal to allow ational activities,” he says. get a portion of the registration and trail fees hunting and trapping in all state parks in One misconception, Zajackowski says, is collected by the DNR, along with some money cluding Blue Mound generated a firestorm that snowmobiles would be allowed access from the state motor fuel tax. In 2013, the state of opposition from silent sports users and to the main trails in the park and the shelter delivered more than $7.6 million to the snow- animal rights activists. The Natural Rebuilding, which was built in part with $600,000 mobile clubs in the various counties. sources Board eventually rejected most of in donations from silent sports users. Snow- But while parks admission stickers and the parks hunting plan, which was included mobiles would use only one portion of a new overnight camping fees were increased in the in the “Sporting Heritage Law” passed by multi-use gravel trail that would accommodate past state budget, snowmobilers were granted the Legislature and signed by Walker in recreational bicyclists and walkers during the a special reduced price on registration fees, 2013. with members of state-based snowmobile The Friends of Blue Mound State Park, warmer seasons.

Many cross country skiers aren’t happy be- clubs getting a $20 savings off the standard which has raised over $1 million in private cause the new snowmobile route would force $30 trail pass fee. The idea is to promote funds for the park, has not taken a formal relocation of a portion of the Pleasure Valley snowmobiling as an economic development position on the new master plan. But it has cross country trail out of the woods and into effort. heard loud and clear from many donors an open field. It would also inupset about the changes, introduce the sound and smell of cluding the expected noise motors into the park. and expense of the snow “There are so very few places mobile corridor and the proShelter to cross country ski and enjoy posed closure of a large secParking winter solitude,” says Nancy tion of the Overlode Trail.

Wiegand of Madison. “Snowmo“The dialogue continues biles don’t need pristine natural for all interested parties, and state park areas to enjoy their we are guardedly hopeful sport. They can’t hear the birds that the potential negative anyway.” impacts to park visitors will Wisconsin has about 25,000 be minimized,” the group miles of designated snowmobile said in a statement. trails, most of them maintained The new master plan is by volunteers from the various scheduled to go before the clubs that work with private Natural Resources at its JanSki trails landowners on access issues. uary meeting but could be Snowmobile trails Village of That compares to about 700 delayed because of the numMilitary Ridge Trail Proposed multi-use trail BLUE miles of public cross country ski ber of issues raised by user MOUNDS trails in the state. groups, Zajackowski says. n Mounds Park Rd.

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7

n MADISON MATRIX

n WEEK IN REVIEW WEDNESDAY, DEC. 9

BIG CITY

n After three hours

of testimony, Madison’s Board of Park Commissioners reaches a compromise on the city’s controversial changes to the public amplified sound fees and limitations for music festivals.

Stay weird, Madison.

Gov. Scott Walker hints during a speech at the Future Wisconsin Economic Summit in Madison that he might seek reelection in 2018.

ALKER

For the first time, Madison B-cycle will offer limited bike share service through the winter.

Bundle up and ride!

PREDICTABLE

SMALL TOWN

Join Clean Lakes Alliance for the fifth annual Frozen Assets Fundraiser, presented by Lands’ End and hosted by Platinum sponsor, The Edgewater

ISTHMUS.COM DECEMBER 17–23, 2015

n A UW System Board of

SURPRISING

A GOP-backed bill that would give more power to landlords and property owners is met with opposition from historic preservationists and municipal officials from across the state.

8

THURSDAY, DEC. 10

The Wisconsin Department of Tourism unveils a new supper club-themed concession stand at the Kohl Center.

But does it serve Old Fashioneds?

Regents panel approves a resolution in support of free speech and open exchange of ideas on campus. The vote comes weeks after UW-Madison Chancellor Rebecca Blank wrote a controversial email saying no one is entitled to “express [their thoughts] in ways that diminish others, or that devalues the presence of anyone that is part of our Badger community.”

FRIDAY, DEC. 11 n The campus debate contin-

ues on day two of the UW System Board of Regents meeting. About 30 UW-

Madison students protest institutional racism on campus during the regents meeting, presenting System officials with a list of demands to address racial inequality and lack of diversity.

SATURDAY, DEC. 12 n A 28-year-old Madison

man, later identified as Sammel J. Erving, is found dead from a gunshot wound in a parking lot on East Washington Avenue. Police are still seeking a motive in the killing, which is Dane County’s 11th homicide in 2015.

TUESDAY, DEC. 15 n We knew this was

coming, but so soon? Wisconsin men’s basketball coach Bo Ryan announces his retirement, effective immediately, after the Badgers’ victory over Texas A&MCorpus Christi.

Ryan’s longtime assistant coach, Greg Gard, will take over as interim coach.

MONDAY, DEC. 14 n Gov. Scott Walker makes

The Chronicle of Higher Education’s 2015 “Influence List,” but not in a good way. He earns the title “Faculty Foe” for cutting the UW System budget, taking on tenure and altering shared governance.

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n NEWS

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Carlo Esqueda says Dane County courts are “in it all the way” with digital records.

LAUREN JUSTICE

The paper chaste Dane County clerk of court will convert to electronic record-keeping

BY BILL LUEDERS

While Dane County’s action puts it ahead of others, it comes amid growing pressure. A rule petition now pending before the state Supreme Court would require “a county-bycounty transition from paper case files in the circuit courts to all-electronic files,” including a mandate that attorneys and high-volume small claims court users submit records electronically.

Esqueda, in his role as president of the Wisconsin Clerks of Circuit Court Association, testified in favor of the Supreme Court rule petition.

“I think Carlo sees the writing on the wall,” says John Barrett, clerk of circuit court for Milwaukee County. “E-filing is going to be mandatory.” Milwaukee is currently scanning in whole categories of filed documents, including criminal complaints and judgments, and receiving other filings in electronic form, as will Dane County.

Barrett notes that going electronic is “a culture shock” for some judges and others who still crave records in paper form. “I don’t think you will ever have a paperless court system,” he says. “I prefer to refer to it as paper on demand.” He believes electronic records are better for everyone involved. “You don’t have lost documents. The file itself will be chronologically in order every time you look at it.”

Once a record is scanned in electronically, the paper version can be destroyed.

But aren’t electronic records vulnerable to technical failures and deliberate attacks? Says Esqueda, “We’ve been assured that, through redundancies and firewalls, our records are secure.”

There are no plans to convert the millions of pages of paper records in closed cases, although scanning may be done on a piecemeal basis for files requested from storage.

Currently, Dane County pays about $40,000 a year to store paper records at a remote location. Given state court rules that require some records to be retained for 75 years, a full transition away from paper will take decades.

“As documents age out under the retention schedules, they will be moved out, and nothing else will move in,” says Esqueda. “It’s going to be more of a generational change.” n

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Normally around this time of year, Dane County Clerk of Circuit Court Carlo Esqueda would put in a big order for manila folders and other repositories of paper records. This year, he says enthusiastically, “We didn’t order those! So it’s sink or swim.”

Beginning Jan. 4, Esqueda’s office is undergoing a bold transformation, from a place where nearly all records are filed and kept on paper to one where all records must be filed electronically or scanned in on receipt.

“We’re in it all the way,” Esqueda says.

“We’re just going to be very forward-looking and embrace the new technology.”

At present, Dane County only keeps probate court records electronically. Esqueda says this began two years ago, as a test, and the new system has worked well. A few counties, including Jefferson, Dodge and La Crosse, have already gone electronic for newly filed records.

At the Dodge County courthouse in Juneau, visitors view electronically filed records at terminals, obtaining printed copies at the usual statutory rate of $1.25 per page.

Esqueda intends to do the same using his office’s existing public terminals.

Other counties are phasing in the use of electronic records gradually. In Brown County, which includes Green Bay, document scanning is occurring on paternity, small claims and traffic cases, and there are plans to allow e-filing sometime in 2016, says John Vander Leest, the county court clerk.

While electronic files can be made accessible through any computer, the court system has been cool to this idea. Court records, especially in criminal and family cases, often contain painfully personal information, and it is felt that the need to make a trip to the courthouse offers some privacy protection.

It also protects the ability of clerks to charge $1.25 per page.

The Director of State Courts Office, which oversees clerks of court throughout the state, is offering tools to counties to facilitate efiling in civil, family and small claims cases.

Dane County will use the tools in these categories, while scanning in records for other kinds of cases.

The county, using the $20,000 it saved from not buying a year’s worth of folders to fill up with paper records, has bought about 55 desktop scanners at $300 a pop, Esqueda says. Several dozen more will be provided by the state, which has already furnished Dane County with three bulk scanners at about $5,000 each, for heavy-duty use. Dane is looking to buy five more.

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n TECH

In a galaxy far, far away UW scientists stumble upon a perplexing cosmic mystery

BY JAY RATH

Peter Timbie, a UW-Madison physics professor, isn’t quite sure what he’s stumbled upon. He only knows it comes from very far away.

“Not only is it extraterrestrial,” says Timbie. “But we’re sure it’s extragalactic as well.”

He’s not talking about flying saucers or aliens — probably. Timbie and a team of researchers recently produced the first detailed portrait of a “fast radio burst” — an explosive transmission of radio waves from as far away in the universe as you imagine, caused by — well, your guess is as good as anyone’s.

“Nobody really knows what they are, and that’s what makes them so interesting,” says Timbie. “They seem to come from all different directions in the sky.”

Discovered only in 2001, fast radio bursts, or FRBs, are cryptic, baffling and, it was thought, rare. Only 15 such events had been conclusively detected before the recent work of Timbie and his team, particularly graduate student Chris Anderson. They suggest that fast radio bursts, while still mysterious, are actually common. You just need to know how to look.

Visible light is part of the electromagnetic spectrum. So are microwaves, radio waves, infrared and so on. “One of the things that’s most interesting to me is that if we could see with ‘radio eyes,’ and looked at the full sky all the time, each day there would be several thousand [bursts]. And these are pretty bright things,” he says.

JAMES MINCHALL

Bright is a radio-eyes understatement. Each burst, lasting only a fraction of a second, equals several months’ output of our sun. “It’s a lot of energy, but it’s somewhere else,” says Timbie. “It’s so far away that the amount we collect with radio telescopes is tiny.”

As is sometimes the case in science, the recent breakthrough happened by accident. “What we set out to do was very different,” he says.

Timbie and Anderson were attempting to sketch the structure of the universe by three-dimensionally mapping the distribution of hydro-

gen atoms in space. That work continues, using the National Radio Astronomy Observatory in Virginia. It has the world’s largest steerable radio telescope: a massive antenna whose dish measures more than 36,000 square feet — the size of almost seven NFL football fields, 60% taller than the Statue of Liberty. It’s the largest movable land object in the world.

“It’s just a really cool instrument and a very interesting part of the country,” says Timbie. West Virginia’s Green Bank area is strange all by itself.

For 20 miles around the observatory, taking in

parts or all of 19 counties, there are no microwave ovens or Wi-Fi, and no radio except for police, fire and Citizens Band, or CB. This is the U.S. National Radio Quiet Zone.

These remarkable measures are necessary to screen out interference, to detect the faintest of the faint.

These are radio signals that come from — yes — a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, reaching us only now, and nearly impossible to separate from static.

While collecting their mapping data four years ago, Timbie and Anderson inadvertently captured FRB 110523, six billion light years away.

New data analysis software has highlighted the signal. “It stands out in ways that make you sure that it’s not something mundane like radio interference or cell phones or something,” says Timbie.

“Now we will try set up the analysis software so we can decide in real time if we’ve seen such an event,” he says.

“And then we can alert other telescopes around the globe that we’ve seen something, and so then there’s the possibility that someone could follow up.”

Until then, much remains a mystery. FRB 110523 appears to have come from an environment where there’s a lot of matter, but what — or who — created the signal?

Timbie is at a loss to explain.

“There’s so little information in [the data],” says Timbie. “It’s really hard to imagine.” n

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n OPINION

Whither the county beat reporters?

If no one is looking, government transparency is meaningless

BY DAVE DE FELICE Dave de Felice, a former radio and TV anchor, news director and capitol correspondent for a daily newspaper, is in his fifth term on the Dane County Board of Supervisors.

ISTHMUS.COM DECEMBER 17–23, 2015

Remember the $500 hammer? How about the $600 toilet seat? Even though Al Gore made the government-procured hammer and toilet seat the butt of jokes, these punch lines are attention-getters. The findings of the Clinton-Gore “Reinventing Government Program” were widely covered by the media and even landed Gore repeat visits on David Letterman.

Say what you will, but the media paid attention to the hammer and toilet seat, and that roused people to talk about their government. That’s a good thing.

Let’s bring it down a notch — well, several notches — to local government.

In October, the Henry Vilas Zoo proposed spending $5,000 per light to illuminate public walkways outside the animal enclosures.

Trouble is, the zoo is closed at night.

Some would say buying 20 lights for $100,000 is couch cushion money for a county that spends half a billion dollars a year. I disagree. I think it’s symptomatic of a mindset. It’s careless.

The problem is, no one hears about these and numerous other decisions local governments make on a regular basis. In the case of the Dane County Board of Supervisors, it’s as if county beat reporters have gone into witness protection. They’ve disappeared.

It got so bad that the county board briefly hired its own “reporter” to cover meetings and put out news releases.

On Oct. 1, after the board’s ho-hum approval of the zoo’s $100,000, I got mad. Not gun-toting mad. But Howard Beale “I’m mad as hell and not going to take this any more!” mad.

So, I wrote a news release announcing The Golden Felice Award to spotlight questionable government decisions. By a happy coincidence, my last name is mispronounced “fleece,” so I used it as a takeoff on

12

DAVID MICHAEL MILLER

The Golden Fleece Award created by the late Wisconsin U.S. Sen. William Proxmire.

I sent out two news releases a week apart to 65 local reporters, editors and news managers — some 130 news releases total. I got zero calls backs.

As a former reporter, I thought this was unusual.

So did media watchdogs. The Columbia Journalism Review at Columbia University and JimRomenesko.com both covered “no news” as news itself. Two days later, the zoo spending was the lead story on a Madison TV station’s newscast, and a radio reporter called asking for comment.

Fine. But should it take the equivalent of a Howard Beale moment?

Madison media take a fairly serious approach to journalism, but a wave of entertainment has swept over newsrooms across the country that may be washing ashore locally.

In some TV newsrooms (none in Madison, that I know of ) you’ll find “Michelle,” a cardboard cutout of a fictional female. “Michelle” is a cynical reminder from TV consultants that the so-called typical TV viewer is a self-

centered mother who cares mostly about lists and consumer news, and is terrified.

I’m not making this up. The proof is in local “news” about personal improvement and sensational crime stories with “can it happen here?” angles.

Some might say, “Give the people what they want! Who cares if local news covers local news?”

Some care, such as professors at American University, who’ve found that lower

THIS MODERN WORLD

levels of local news coverage coincide with lower levels of civic participation; citizens in cities with little local news know less about candidates running for Congress.

Then again, there’s the notion that blogging, Twitter and Facebook make up for local news coverage.

Marty Baron would disagree. He’s the former editor of The Boston Globe, which exposed, from the Vatican on down, the systemic sexual abuse of children. “The priest abusers weren’t going to tweet about it,” Baron says in Time magazine. “The victims weren’t tweeting about the abuse. The Church wasn’t tweeting about it.” (Five-star movie plug: Baron is a character in Spotlight, the best movie about investigative journalism since All the President’s Men, IMVHO).

In public policy circles there’s a fairly new word in vogue. It’s “transparency,” the ability to see what government is doing. It’s a good thing. But what good is transparency if no one’s looking?

In fact, there is no replacement for local news.

The day after I announced The Golden Felice Award and my phone went comatose, I noticed a story about the weather on one of Madison’s online newspaper sites. I wondered, who would waste time on such a fluff story? Looking closer, I saw the byline: It was written by the reporter once assigned to the county beat. n

BY TOM TOMORROW

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n FEEDBACK

Not all charters created equal It would be helpful if Ruth Conniff, in calling necessary attention to the challenges facing public education today, used more precise language in making her arguments (“A Tricky Balance,” 12/10/2015). When she criticizes charter schools that are “draining resources and energy from the majority of students,” I’m not sure what schools she’s talking about. Is it schools financed through the state’s school voucher system?

Or schools set up to operate as charters in Milwaukee? Or the hundreds of charter schools in Wisconsin authorized by their local school districts?

I’m pretty sure she’s not talking about MG21 — a charter school for at-risk and independent-learning high school students in Monona. At MG21, we empower the very kinds of project-based learning highlighted in Beyond Measure. Our students and faculty embrace the 21st Century Skills framework that focuses on collaborative teaching and learning, not a curriculum focused on rote instruction and testing. Our students help monitor lake quality for the Wisconsin DNR, have their plays selected for per-

OFF THE SQUARE

formance at the Overture Center, and are jump-starting careers in nursing through partnerships with Madison College. They even take Advanced Placement classes.

And lest Conniff thinks our school operates at odds with local educators, we enjoy an unusually strong relationship with our chartering school district — Monona Grove. Our school regularly keeps the Monona Grove School Board informed of our progress and successes, and the board in turn provides MG21 with control over its curriculum and teaching. Those strong ties were endorsed earlier this year when the school district renewed our charter to operate MG21 for another five years.

Those like Conniff looking for solutions to the tricky balance facing public schools today might do well to start in their backyard. Our doors are always open to those who want to see what we’re about.

Phil McDade president, MG21 governance board Monona (via email)

Room with a view Joe Tarr’s bang-up article on Airbnb (“Under the Radar,” 12/3/2015) came out as we were trying to get the inspection department engaged in our neighbor’s treehouse from hades in a tree that is 50% on our property! It has a storm door and double-hung windows and looks like a treehouse in Fitchburg on the official Airbnb site. Of course our neighbor, who already has tenants, told my clueless alder that it was a “playhouse.”

Madison has no appetite to go after these folks, unfortunately. This is Uber all over again.

Sandra Saul (via email)

Wheels on the Square

Defining moment?

In “Under Attack” (12/10/2015), Meg Robertson attempts to dismiss the videos showing Planned Parenthood’s luncheon negotiation about the value of various human parts and the procedures for harvesting them as “heavily and selectively edited.” How much does it take to create a defining moment in U.S. history? Consider the way Nixon’s beard photographed on TV; Dan Quayle’s inability to spell “potato”; Sarah Palin using her view of Russia from a kitchen window as the basis of her foreign policy expertise; or Mitt Romney’s characterization of the 47% who wouldn’t vote for him.

LuAnne Feik (via email)

Many people assume that it’s illegal to ride a bicycle on the sidewalk (“Cruising the Capitol,” 12/10/2015). In Madison, mostly it isn’t; the presumption is that a biker can ride on the sidewalk, except where buildings immediately abut the sidewalk (cityofmadison.com/BikeMadison/ getBiking/sidewalks.cfm). There are specific exceptions, with signage. On sidewalks around the Capitol Square, there are signs on sidewalks across the street from the Capitol directing bicyclists to walk their bikes on Carroll between State and West Washington, and on Mifflin between Carroll and Pinckney. A biker now has to ride around the Square counterclockwise from the foot of State Street to continue east on Mifflin. Reworking Mifflin to facilitate bike traffic heading east from State Street is a good example of how Madison has landed on the Platinum list of bike-friendly cities.

Norm Littlejohn (via email)

Corrections In last week’s issue, an article on Planned Parenthood incorrectly stated the number of clinics that closed as a result of Gov. Scott Walker’s decision to limit Title V funding. Five clinics closed, not four.

In “The Bucky Economy,” the name of the owner of Schmidt’s towing service was incorrect. It’s John Schmidt, not Jim Schmidt.

Share comments with Isthmus via email, edit@isthmus.com, and via Forum.isthmus.com, Facebook and Twitter, or write letters to Isthmus, 100 State St., Suite 301, Madison WI 53703.

All comments are subject to editing. The views expressed here are solely those of the contributors.

These opinions do not necessarily represent those of Isthmus Publishing Company.

BY ALAN TALAGA & JON LYONS

DECEMBER 17–23, 2015 ISTHMUS.COM

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n COVER STORY

By Aaron R. Conklin THE WAIT IS FINALLY OVER. After more than a year of buildup and anticipation, Star Wars: The Force Awakens opens Dec. 18.

We will finally learn whether the seventh entry in the hallowed Star Wars franchise — the first with J.J. Abrams at the director’s helm — will live up to its Tauntaun-sized hype. We’ll know whether Finn and Poe Dameron are worthy heirs to Luke Skywalker and Han Solo, or Jar Jar Binks-level disasters.

(Our money’s on the former.)

Like every other city in the known universe, Madison’s right in the middle of the Star Wars

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n COVER STORY

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insanity — in more ways than you may realize.

Sitting in the audience on the film’s opening day will be none other than Madison’s very own Sith Lord, Matt Sloan.

Many locals as well as YouTube Nation know Sloan, 42, as the voice of Chad Vader: Day Shift Manager, the star of the wildly popular web series that tracked the hilariously mundane adventures of Darth Vader’s younger, less successful brother.

That series, co-created by Sloan and his longtime friend/collaborator/business partner Aaron Yonda, ran for four seasons beginning in 2006.

But Sloan’s vocal turn as the power-hungry manager of Empire Market opened up an unexpected door to a professional galaxy not so very far away at all — more voice work with LucasArts’ signature franchise. For the last eight years, Sloan’s been providing the voice for the Empire’s Dark Lord in commercials, videogames and animated TV shows.

When you hear Vader say “your feeble defense is irrelevant” before he casts a rebel soldier aside like a rag doll in the multiplayer videogame smash Star Wars: Battlefront, that’s Sloan’s voice you’re hearing. When l’il Lego Vader bitches about a pesky waiter ruining his timing in the big “I am your father” reveal scene in the Disney XD series Lego Star Wars: Droid Tales or menaces enemies in Disney Infinity 3.0? Yep, that’s Sloan, too.

Sitting in the basement of his east-side home — an impressive man cave replete with comfortable couches, a collection of vintage beer signs (Hamms!) and walls lined with vinyl, CDs and DVDs — Sloan reflects on his unusual career trajectory with a characteristic dose of humility and honest WTF? “It’s so weird,” he says, running a hand through his hair. “It’s never something I aspired to, never something I practiced. We came up with the idea for Chad Vader, and we needed to find someone to do the voice. I said, ‘Well, I’ll try it,’ and I just did it, and it worked. That’s the strangest part of this — everything just happened. I never approached LucasFilms; I never said, ‘Hey, I can do this voice, can I be in your videogames, can I be in your TV shows?’ It’s just so weird.”

That weirdness has paid some happy dividends for Sloan, a down-to-earth introvert with a serious talent for creativity and improvisation.

(Sloan’s a regular fixture at Madison’s Monkey Business Institute.) Income from the Vader voice work — Sloan was doing frequent voice sessions for Lego Star Wars as well as an unannounced video game as recently as this summer — has given him the freedom to pursue his other creative passions. Specifically, a pair of YouTube shows called Welcome to the Basement and Beer and Board Games that feature Sloan and his friends riffing on movies and playing, um, board games.

“This is the type of work I’ve always wanted to do,” says Sloan. “I always said, in my 20s, post-college, ‘I wish I could do something creative.’”

a massive, first-of-its kind merchandising blitz that gave us everything from landspeeders and X-wing fighters to action figures of Greedo and the mail-order, pre-toy safety craze Boba Fett with the actual rocket launcher on his back.

“The movies were big, but with the toys, we could do our own thing,” Sloan says.

“That could have been the start of becoming a writer and writing film scripts. Having that aid to my imagination.”

And the toys still carry an impact for him. Tucked in among his shelves at home is the Darth Vader action figure released in conjunction with Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, one of the first videogames Sloan voiced for LucasArts.

“That’s my action figure,” he says.

“That’s not James Earl Jones. That’s one of the ways the weirdness of the whole situation is real to me, tangible. A lot of times it’s like, ‘Why me? Why am I doing this, why am I special?’”

A different person with a less grounded personality might have gotten swept up in the hype and the celebrity. Sloan took the opposite approach.

Chad Vader struck a popculture nerve harder than the Rebels nailed the Death Star.

SLOAN SAW THE FIRST STAR

Wars movie as a rerelease at a drive-in with his folks when he was a child — he was just 3 years old when it came out in 1977. He admits that, like a lot of kids, Star Wars was a big part of his childhood —but interestingly, it wasn’t the movies that inspired him. It was the toys.

Children of the late ’70s and early ’80s have fond memories of the Kenner Star Wars toy line,

“I look at it as just work, and I think that’s important,” he says. ”I go in and I do my work, and when I’m done I don’t think about it. I don’t want to get a big head about it or get swept away by it. That’s not the kind of person I am.”

Sloan is pure Wisconsin, the youngest of four children born to Milwaukee factory workers. His parents weren’t around much, which left him free to immerse himself in cartoons, movies and, of course, Star Wars toys. His family had HBO, so standup comedy was a staple of his preteen mix. But while George Carlin, Richard Pryor and Bill Cosby — that’s pre-skeezy Bill Cosby, remember — were, as he puts it, “like my baseball cards,” it never occurred to him to become a standup comedian.

Then, in high school, he went to a summer camp and discovered a little something called ComedySportz, The improv bug bit hard.

“I thought, ‘I think I want to do that,’” he recalls.

It didn’t happen right away. Sloan attended St. Norbert College — he graduated in 1995 with degrees in creative writing and theater — where the Fox Cities ComedySportz troupe performed for freshman orientation, rejuicing his interest. He attended a free workshop/audition the group put on — and then didn’t hear anything back. It was another year before Mike Eserkaln, now one of the regulars on Beer and Board Games, got him in the door.

“Improv informs everything about me,” Sloan says. “My writing, the shows online, it informs everything I do.”

It also connected him with Yonda, who was part of the Madison ComedySportz troupe. When Sloan moved to Madison in 2000, they performed together in the troupe for about a year before teaming up to create comic sketches on their own.

Their first effort was a sexual harassment training video that ended up playing out like an absurdist French film. (Sadly, unlike much of Sloan and Yonda’s catalogue, this one’s MIA online.) Then, in 2006, they hit on the brilliant idea of Chad Vader.

The skits struck a pop-culture nerve harder than the Rebels nailed the Death Star. By 2006, Yonda and Sloan had quit their day jobs to focus on creating Chad Vader content full time. Today, they’re still producing video content together as part of Blame Society Productions.

“We have a very similar sense of humor,” says Yonda of Sloan. ”We have this sense of timing, predicting what the other person will do.

We also come from the same place, have the same influences comedically.”

Looking back, it’s clear now the pair had a preternatural, Jedi-like sense of timing, having created hilarious and essential content at a time when YouTube’s Partnership Program was launching and the idea of ad revenue sharing for content creators suddenly made online broadcasting a viable career option. Yonda’s the one who pushed the idea of doing Chad Vader and the one who wore the costume during the skits and episodes. And even though Sloan’s gotten a more tangible benefit, Yonda couldn’t be happier.

“I’m proud he’s the voice of Darth Vader,” he says.

MADISON’S LOCAL THEATER

TIMOTHY HUGHES

scene has given Sloan two of the key figures in his life. Six months after moving to Madison, he met his future wife and video collaborator Tona Williams in a 2001 Strollers Theatre production of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead. He met Craig Johnson, the co-host of Welcome to

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N

’S

THE

ATER

OF

M

A

A CHRISTMAS CAROL Madison’s finest holiday tradition!

DECEMBER 12–23 Capitol Theater at Overture Center

TICKETS: ctmtheater.org 608.258.4141

Madison Ballet presents

The

W. Earle Smith, Artistic Director

ON SALE NOW

PETER

PAN

MAR 19-20

{GET HOOKED}

BRILLIANT. BEAUTIFUL. BALLET.

December 12-27, 2015 Overture Center Call 608.258.4141 or visit madisonballet.org

DECEMBER 17–23, 2015 ISTHMUS.COM

work for LucasArts was the PC game Star Wars: Empire at War, a real-time strategy game released in 2006. Sloan did the voice sessions, and, in an echo of his ComedySportz audition, heard nothing for almost a year.

“I thought, ‘I guess I blew it,’” he recalls.

“But then they contacted me for The Force Unleashed — they said they had held auditions and they couldn’t find anybody. After that, it got pretty ripped.”

Interestingly, LucasFilms reportedly debated whether to shut Chad Vader down, before opting to give the series an official Star Wars Fan Film award.

When he first started, he and Yonda rented DVDs of the original Star Wars trilogy, fast-forwarding to all the Vader scenes to capture the rhythm and tone of the delivery.

R

IL

SLOAN’S FIRST MAJOR

At one point, Sloan spent several months voicing the thousands of syllabic sounds of what was going to be a Darth Vader version of Siri. Sadly for millions of Star Wars geeks, the project never saw the light of day.

These days, he finds he doesn’t need to practice or warm up much — the role has become a part of him.

“It’s not just doing a voice; it’s giving a performance,” says Sloan. “There’s an energy and a demeanor to it. That’s the alluring part for me.”

Fans and friends don’t ask Sloan to do the voice much these days — and that’s a relief, as he’s never actually liked doing an impromptu rendition for people. “It’s embarrassing,” he admits. “My voice is processed, so people inevitably end up being like, ‘That doesn’t sound like Darth Vader.’”

It’s a common theme. Even Michael Donovan, the voice director who works with Sloan on his performances for Lego Star Wars: Droid Tales, admits he was surprised at first when he met the Midwesterner.

“His normal voice, he doesn’t sound anything like Darth Vader,” Donovan says.

“I was thinking at first he’s going to be a big, black guy.”

But as it turns out, it’s Sloan’s voiceprint (the visual representation of the spectrum of frequencies of his voice) that’s perfect for the role.

“When he delivers the line and we drop it down through the processor, it falls exactly into place. I don’t know how he found this out, but it totally does. It just works.”

Sloan’s natural talent at acting and improv is as important as his voiceprint to a director like Donovan, who needs his voice actors to be efficient and versatile.

“The thing about Matt is that he gets the joke, he gets the funny,” explains Donovan, who voices Emperor Palpatine in the series and also works remotely with Anthony Daniels, the unmistakable voice of C-3PO. Donovan conducts his voice sessions with Sloan via Skype at Paradyme Studios on West Washington Avenue. Sloan also voices other characters for the series, including Imperial Stormtroopers and aliens.

“Matt really understands the process,“ says Donovan. “He always gives me some choices in how he delivers his lines.”

These days, Sloan and Yonda are still fielding plenty of video work through Blame Society Productions, including a promising (and confidential) series project through their YouTube network, Maker Studios. The project would film in Los Angeles. But don’t expect Sloan to pick up his Midwestern stakes: He doesn’t drive, and his lifestyle is too well suited for Madison.

Like a lot of Star Wars Nation, he’s heard the rumors that a certain black-helmeted Sith Lord will make an appearance in one of the sequels.

That could easily lead to another round of Vader voice work for him, a prospect he welcomes.

And as for that galaxy far, far away?

Sloan’s had his tickets to The Force Awakens lined up for a while — he’ll be at the early matinee on Friday, Dec. 18.

“Seeing it early is a big deal because I know Facebook will spoil every second of it the day it’s released,” Sloan says. “I also want to be able to talk about it on the show as soon as possible.” n

CH

the Basement (and an Isthmus contributor) in a 2001 performance of Macbeth, in which Sloan starred as the Scottish thane.

“When I first met him, I thought what every actor thinks,” jokes Johnson. “I should have gotten that role.”

Sloan and Johnson quickly bonded over music, trading recommendations and having listening parties, including a memorable hourlong session where the pair endured Lou Reed’s deeply polarizing feedback-fest “Metal Machine Music.”

“We figured if we suffered through it, we could say we had,” recalls Johnson, who played the janitor “Weird” Jimmy on Chad Vader.

“He’s very cautious at first — he’s a good observer,” says Johnson of Sloan. “When you first meet him, he’s quiet and standoffish — but only until he’s figured you out.”

The concept for Welcome to the Basement is simple. Sloan picks out a movie that he and Johnson have never seen before, and the two of them watch it together, riffing and commenting. It has a definite Mystery Science Theater vibe, but there’s something else going on as well. “We’re channeling our friendship with this show,” says Johnson. “We’re helping other people love movies.”

Sloan doesn’t think of it as a review show. “Our personalities have informed the show and caused it to evolve,” he explains.

“We don’t really have to write anything — the show just happens.”

Tonight’s selection is Back to the Future Part II, a film that, amazingly, Sloan hasn’t seen despite the fact that he’s owned the boxed trilogy for years. The two of them improvise an intro that includes Johnson encapsulating the film’s time-warping plot into an impressive 21 seconds.

As Sloan and Williams’ two beloved cats, Ernesto and Cecil, take up residence on the edges of the set, Williams adjusts the Japanese lanterns that serve as set lighting. Williams handles the technical parts of the show, while Sloan handles the creative. Williams says having defined roles is one of the reasons their 12-year marriage functions so well.

Sloan dons a down vest and Johnson puts on goggles as the film’s opening credits — and Williams’ videocamera — begin to roll.

“Ah, yes, Billy Zane and his bland handsomeness,” quips Johnson.

17

Discover hundreds of shops and restaurants, many locally-owned. Enjoy a free trolley and carolers on State Street and the Square, Saturdays through December 19. Stop by the Downtown Visitor Center on State Street or Overture Center Info Table for maps, directions, and shopping and dining suggestions.

Give a unique Wisconsin gift!

Find fun gifts and apparel inspired by our love of cheese, fried fish, and the great outdoors that are truly real Wisconsin!

LAST SECOND SCORES! Saved your shopping ‘til the end? We feature a vast array of chocolates, fanciful teas, soothing candles as well as manly shaving supplies.

We’re just the ticket for a one-stop holiday shopping spree.

Community Pharmacy

Wisconsin Historical Museum shop.wisconsinhistory.org • 888-999-1669 30 N. Carroll St., Madison, WI 53703

On State Street & Gorham • 608-251-3242 www.communitypharmacy.coop

ISTHMUS.COM DECEMBER 17–23, 2015

CITY TINS ARE BACK!

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Bundle up in some WI style this winter. We have sizes for every Badger fan – infant to 3x.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

The University Book Store 711 State Street 608-257-3784 www.uwbookstore.com

COLOR ME WISCO Madison- and Wisconsin-themed coloring books featuring works by 17 Midwest artists. Available only at

Anthology 218 State Street Madison, Wisconsin 53703 www.anthology.typepad.com

This is the perfect gift for your sweetie, the local foodie or your special host.

Choose between the restaurant or the bar/lounge edition this year. Each tin contains 20 coasters worth $10 off your $25 tab. Game spinner included.

Little Luxuries 230 State St • 255-7372

GREAT GIFTS! Silver jewelry, unique decor, accessories, clothing, textiles and furniture.

Hand-made and hand-sourced from artists locally and around the world.

Conscientious commerce in Madison since 1997.

Art Gecko

This Italian-designed collection of fine leather wallets and organizers is contemporary and colorful. It’s the ideal gift -- practical and beautiful!

Madison Sole 414 State Street • 608-255-2522 • Locally Owned

507 & 510 State St. • 608-280-8053

Inspire her creativity, inner strength, well being and harmony with stackable bracelets this holiday season or get personal with the initials collection by Chrysalis.

Goodman’s Jewelers 220 State Street, Madison • 608-257-3644 www.goodmansjewelers

Thinking of making the switch to vaporization?

Need a last minute gift?

Knuckleheads has you covered with a wide assortment of liquid & herbal vaporizers and accessories!

Up to 25% off select models now through New Years Eve!

550 State Street www.knuckleheadstobacco.com

A Room of One’s Own 315 W. Gorham St. • 608-257-7888 Mon - Sat 10-8, Sun 11-5 www.roomofonesown.com

ALL-CLAD 3-QUART SAUTÉ PAN $99.99 (reg. $225.00) Sear, braise, deglaze, and simmer all in one pan. An All-Clad best seller, this American-made classic is useful for any home cook. Stop into The Kitchen Gallery to take advantage of this and all of our holiday specials!

The Kitchen Gallery 107 King Street • 608-467-6544 www.kitchengallerymadison.com

ARK EASY Info at visitdowntownmadison.com

DECEMBER 17–23, 2015 ISTHMUS.COM

Knuckleheads Tobacco & Vapes

Book for everyone on your list from the serious to the comic.

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Where to be when the ball drops A countdown to New Year’s Eve parties in Madison

BY TOM WHITCOMB n ILLUSTRATION BY WESLEY HAMILTON

As 2016 knocks on the door, Isthmus has compiled some of the Whether you want a low-key live music affair or an all-night banger, we’ve got you covered. For additional events, see Isthmus.com/theguide.

Cardinal Bar The Bird’s resident DJ Chamo will be on hand to ring in 2016, manning the decks until the sun comes up (from 8 p.m. until 5 a.m.) with his signature blend of Latin, house and pretty much anything else that you can shake your booty to.

Bartell Theatre For people weary of champagne toasts and countdowns, Mercury Players presents a one-of-a-kind theatrical experience. On Dec. 30 at 8 p.m., a fearless group of actors, directors and writers from Mercury Players, Out!Cast and KnowBetter Productions will team up to draw writing prompts out of a hat. Over the next 24 hours, the teams will create a fresh New Year’s Eve production. $20 buys you a ticket to the resulting chaos.

Come Back In/Essen Haus Come Back In and Essen Haus will once again open their doors and become a sort of New Year’s Voltron, combining for two bars, two bands (the David Austin Band at Essen Haus and Live at Nine at the Come Back), two buffets and — by all accounts — two times the fun. The ticket-only event launches at 9 p.m., and will cost $70 per person through Dec. 23 and $75 after Dec. 26.

CONTINUE D ON PAGE 32

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DECEMBER 17–23, 2015 ISTHMUS.COM

best ways to ring in the New Year.

Alchemy Cafe “Nasty New Year’s Eve” turns six years old this year, and local hellraisers the Mustache will return, starting at 11:30 p.m., to bring in both the noise and funk for the new year. Proceeds from the $10 cover will benefit WORT 89.9 FM.

21

Gift Cards Available Quality Without the Pretentious Price!!

MEAT

4

Clementines $ 005 lb. box

Want a great gift for your special someone?

Order your Holiday Roast from the best full service meat market in Madison!

Unlike many oranges, these sweet gems have ripened naturally on the tree with no color added.

Kobe Style Rump Roast • Bonesss Prime Rib Roast • Bone-in Prime Rib Roast Choice or Steer Tenderloin Roast • Top Round Roast • Locally-raised Pinn-Oak Ridge Farms Leg of Lamb • Bone-in or Boneless Pork Loin Roast • Pork Crown Roast • Tur-Dic-Hens • Fresh Turkeys • Nueske’s 1/2 or whole Spiral Hams • Jenifer St. Market Half Hams

Stuffed Pork Tenderloins

5

Navel Orange $ Gift Boxes

$ 00 lb.

4 $ 79 Sirloin Spoon Roast 4 $ 99 Top Sirloin Steak 7 $ 99 Stuffed Cornish Hens 4 $ 00 Marinated Chicken Breast 4 $ 99 Summer Sausage Sticks 3 Butterfly Pork Chops

1075

box A sweet treat for the holidays. 44 oranges per box.

Texas

for your holiday meal. Made with our homemade stuffing.

Cranberry Walnut or Spinach Florentine

Boneless

Closed Christmas Day

PRODUCE

Gift Boxes are available in our Meat Market. Meat, Meat & Cheese, Meat & Wine or whatever you like!

Try one of these delicious

Open 7am-6pm Christmas Eve

Red Grapefruit $ 75 Gift Boxes box

$ 00 2038 Jenifer St., Madison • 244-6646 • Open Daily 7am-9pm

lb.

THE HOLIDAYS ARE UPON US...Here at the Market we have a huge selection of specialty foods that you can’t find anywhere else, like our Jenifer Street Market preserves and jellies and a huge selection of imported and domestic wines and beers.

But one of the biggest questions we get is, “Where is the Jenifer Street Market?” We’re cozied up among the bungalows, located just blocks from the Yahara River and Lake Monona, about 500 giant steps from the Barrymore Theatre on the near east side of Madison. Still lost? Give us a call at 244-6646.

When you do find us and walk through the door, you’re in for a sensory sensation you won’t soon forget. The smell of fresh pies, sourdough and European bread being baked fresh every day, the aroma of mouthwatering, juicy rotisserie chicken cooking slowly on the spit, the tantalizing smell of fresh bean coffee being ground and brewed. And best of all, fresh squeezed orange juice. Come and visit us soon!

These roasts are so tender you can eat them with a spoon

lb.

Burgundy Pepper or French Onion

USDA Choice

Wild, never frozen

lb.

Karben 4

Sassy Cow

6 $ 00 7 $ 00 4 $ 00

gallon

The perfect fireside beverage

BEER

FROZEN

SEAFOOD

lb.

All our steaks are hand-cut by our expert meatcutters, unlike the big box stores.

11 Apple Cider $459 Green Cabbage 50¢

Bright red, sweet and delicious. 24 grapefruits per box.

WINE We have a huge selection of wine from all over the world, and local, too.

So come to Jenifer Street Market and get all your wines for the holiday.

7 Fresh Cod Cristalino $ 99 $ 99 7 Skillet Meals 5 Celebration Cavas 7 Herring $ 00 Boneless, skinless Raymond Red 7 Cranberries 1 $ 59 Field Blend 8 Cool-Whip ¢ Live Lobsters available! Topping 79 7 Chateau Ste Michelle $ 49 GROCERY Chardonnay 8 Jenifer Street Market 6 Erath Nestle $ 00 $ 99 Chocolate Chips 2 for 5 Oregon’s Pinot Noir $ 29 Pizza Crusts 2 $ 39 14 Sparkling San Pellegrino $ 00 8 ¢ Santa Rita DELI Ice Drinks 99 Lagunitas $ 99 Mineral Water 4 for 5 $ 69 ‘120’ Wines Perrier Belgioioso Just Coffee 5 $ 99 Mineral Water 4 for $500 $ 99 Brewing Co. 7 Coffee 7 Fresh Mozzarella 3 La Fiera Sierra Nevada $ 39 Knudsen Chavrie $ 25 $ 99 King Arthur Soave 6 $ 00 R.W. $ 49 Muenster Cheese 7 Just Juice 3 Goat Cheese Logs 2 for 5 Flour 5 $ 99 DAIRY $ 79 Verena St. $ 99 C & H 3 $ 98 Coffee 5 Turkey Breast 4 Let It Ride Cane Sugar 1 Vern’s Philadelphia $ 39 $ 69 $ 59 $ 79 Vintage Sharp Cheddar Cheese 4 Cream Cheese 1 C & H ¢ $ 79 Cold Brewed Coffee Concentrate 8 Italian Beef 6 Tonic or Club Soda 69 Vern’s Land O Lakes Brown or Powdered Sugar 1 $ 99 Merkts $ 99 $ 99 Dare $ 69 Butter 10-Year-Old Sharp Cheddar 13 $ 29 2 Chicken Salad 5 Cheese Spreads 3 BAKERY Breton Crackers 2 Jarlsburg Simply $ 99 Pillsbury $ 99 Orange Juice $389 Swiss 7 Spinach or Dill Dip $399 DeCecco $ 99 Pie Crusts $ 99 1 Pasta 1 Pumpkin or Apple Pies 3 Bob’s Red Mill Milton Bigelow $ 29 $ 49 13 Bean Soup Mix 3 French Bread 2 $ 99 $ 99 BAKED RICE CRACKERS 2 Nabisco $ 00 Jimmy’s TEA $ 99 Snack Crackers 2 for 5 Gourmet Cookies 3 Fresh Lake Trout

Sage and Onion

Wild, never frozen

Locally made premium

4 Newman’s Own asst flavors

lb.

each

Seaside

Made with our homemade stuffing.

32oz

22-24oz

Fresh frozen

12-16oz

in wine sauce or cream style

Try the new Lady Luck Imperial Red Ale

Ice Cream $ 99

lb.

12oz pkg.

lb.

8oz.

Spinach Parmesan • Habanero Lime • Mango

Ultra Thin

12oz.

10-12oz

8.75-14.25 oz

Regular, Garlic or Jalapeno & Cheddar

asst flavors

750ml or 1 ltr.

Just in from the Silver Lewis Cheese Factory in Monticello, WI. This small production company is housed in a facility built in 1897.

Their award-winning handcrafted

lb.

32oz.

all-purpose

5 lb. bag

11-12oz.

lb.

4 lb. bag

Sliced to order

lb.

lb.

lb.

750ml

Perfect for holiday entertaining

750ml

imported from Italy

Celebration Ale available now

assorted varieties

6pk

750ml

Locally brewed

New Size!

8”

14oz

16oz.

14.1oz

1.75 ltr

1

Baked in store

16oz

28oz

No trans fat, no cholesterol, non-GMO • Cheddar Cheese • Multi-Grain • Crispy Sea Salt

5.9oz

asst flavors

Lundberg Organic $ 99 THIN STACKERS Puffed Rice Grain Cakes

2

5.9oz

Gluten-free, Whole Grain. Light, crunchy, flavorful and thin.

Great alone or with your favorite topping. The perfect organic, whole grain snack.

Q Ginger $ 49 GINGER ALE

5

25.4oz Superior ginger ale that’s better for you with fewer calories and all natural ingrediendts.

Ad specials good though 12-24-2015

7.6-9oz

asst flavors

Bussetto Sausage CHUBS $ 49 DRY $ 99 assorted flavors

5

Bite-size Nuggets

8oz

8oz

ready to use

13.12-16oz.

certified gluten-free

ISTHMUS.COM DECEMBER 17–23, 2015

750ml

at its finest

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Baked in store

lb.

regular or whole wheat

22

from Washington

32oz

7-8 oz.

Great for every Holiday Party

5

750ml

35oz

1 ltr.

Homemade from all white meat breast

lb.

25.4oz Superior tonic water that mixes better with your favorite spirit.

California red blend

4pk

12oz bag

100% organic

select varieties

750ml

Golden Browned

sliced to order

sold in 1/2 lb. chunks

Brut or Rose Brut

17oz

locally roasted

Organic

lb.

Q Tonic $ 49 TONIC WATER

Furious IPA and Overated West Coast IPA

Sparkling Wine

6pk

25oz.

16oz.

sold in 1 lb. chunks

sold in approx. 1 lb. wedge

6pk

Ale Asylum $ 49 Brewing Co. 6pk Central Waters $ 49 Brewing Co. 6pk New Glarus $ 49 Brewing Co. 6pk O’so $ 99 Brewing Co. 6pk Surly

Sliced

4oz

One of the best muenster cheese you will ever taste. Give a 5 lb. block for a great holiday present at a 50¢ per lb. discount.

$ 99

SALAMI

4

8oz

Lavazza Imported from Italy $ 99 ITALY’S FAVORITE COFFEE Try one of these great flavors: • Perfetto (espresso roast) • Gran Aroma (medium roast) • Gran Selezione (dark roast)

6

12oz

10.5oz

20 ct. bags

Family tea blenders since 1945. Select varieties.

Bahlsen Imported from Germany

COOKIES

2

$ 49 3.5-4.6 oz

Lundberg $ 99 $ 49 RICE

2 -5

White Arborio • Brown & White Basmati • Jasmine Brown Short Grain • Sushi • Brown Long Grain

We reserve the right to limit quantities

2 lb. bag

n FOOD & DRINK

Big flavors Julep cuts a wide swath across Southern cuisines

December Special

BY KYLE NABILCY

a t n a S s a t n a l S He per Helper

Fe

Featuring...

FRE FRESH

CRANCRA BERRIES BER

& ORANGE

& JUICE ORAN

Fresh Cranberries JUI & Orange Juice

PAULIUS MUSTEIKIS

Order the shrimp and grits and you may believe you’re in Charleston.

Skip the blue crab jasmine rice cake; its mushy texture and oddly Asian flavor profile isolate it as the only complete miss I encountered on the Julep menu.

Julep’s dinners truly shine. Shrimp and grits is served in the creamy style of Charleston. A smooth gravy generously studded with tasso ham cubes is served over large, tender shrimp and excellent grits.

The hefty fried chicken thigh has crunch and juice to spare, and it’s been deboned by the kitchen. Lots of shredded ham hock in the greens improve a too-sweet potlikker.

The perlou is magnificent. Something like a hybrid between jambalaya and paella, perlou features andouille sausage, brilliantly smoky whitefish, and fat oysters in a mess of partially pan-crisped Carolina Gold rice. A persistent hint of spicy heat runs underneath

it all; it’s just plain great, and you should eat it soon.

I should mention the desserts, not printed on the menu (a bothersome trend in restaurants these days). You might find a chocolate cake with mint semifreddo, served in the style of that mint julep, but head for the sweet potato pie. Or the apple cobbler, served with an adorable mini-bottle of cream.

I’m eager to enjoy the open-air courtyard at the Robinia complex of restaurants (Julep along with A-OK Coffee and Barolo wine bar), and to see what new seasons will bring to the Julep menu. All the way up to the two bottles of high-tone Van Winkle family bourbon on the back bar, Julep is doing right by the South in an East Washington corridor on the rise. n

JULEP n 829 E. Washington Ave. n 608-237-1904 n facebook.com/julepmadison 4-10 pm Mon.-Thurs., 4-11 pm Fri.-Sat., 5-9 pm Sun. n $4-$22

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DECEMBER 17–23, 2015 ISTHMUS.COM

Southern food is undergoing a renaissance.

It’s not just barbecue or Cajun or Creole-influenced Louisiana food. We’re talking the foods of the South Carolina Lowcountry, southern Appalachia and points up and down the Atlantic Coast. It’s a movement of simplicity, seasonality and flavor over presentation.

Given all that, it’s a puzzler that Madison — locavore, comfy-casual Madison — hadn’t fully embraced the breadth of Southern food before the opening of Julep on East Washington Avenue last October.

Julep’s full menu isn’t all that large, but that’s by design. A modest handful of dishes occupy three sections of the menu: Snacks, Little Plates and Dinners. A tidy menu and a straightforward culinary emphasis demand confidence and solid kitchen execution; there’s nowhere to hide if the kitchen misses on one of three ingredients.

Embrace simplicity and start with the Snacks. Perhaps challenging to the average diner is the smoked ham hock terrine, but be not afraid; two thick, playing card-sized slices of gelatin-rich terrine deliver porky, smoky flavors that are deftly cut by lightly pickled green beans and a demure wholegrain mustard. The price and proportions are perfect. There’s even enough of the accompanying bread.

Julep’s buttermilk biscuit is large and bronzed, with a crisp buttery exterior, but needs more moisture in its crumb. The pimento cheese has a pleasant texture, even with the atypical addition of chopped pecans, but is disappointingly bland. Classic dishes like these give fans of Southern cooking familiar dishes, though, and their presence on the menu is valuable.

The cocktail menu is wisely built to withstand a lot of rich flavors throughout the Snacks, Little Plates and Dinners. You could order a House Julep, but the ¡Mendoza! is more fun — a healthy dose of cinnamon, tangy port and mezcal.

Dishes from the Little Plates section are proportioned ideally for eating at the bar.

The Nashville salad is great if you love bacon bits; the crispy pig ear slices are very crispy indeed. A smoldering crock of crumb-topped mac and cheese, delicious on its own, begs for a splash of the Crystal hot sauce, always offered as an option. Give it what it wants.

The modest tea sandwiches called Johnny Cakes beg for nothing, save a judicious application of the crispy ham by the kitchen.

(If it’s sliced too thick, as one serving was, it turns into jerky.) Inside the sandwich are dollops of Benedictine, a creamy cucumber spread beloved in Louisville, and a real joy to find in Madison.

23

n FOOD & DRINK

What’s up with Sushi Tora, anyway?

And other tidbits and shakeups in Mad City’s food scene

BY LINDA FALKENSTEIN

Sushi Tora, once projected by owner Nick Lee to be open by February 2015, still has no exact timeline for opening, though its awning has been up for months at 546 W. Washington Ave., the former home to Electric Earth Cafe.

According to Lee, interior renovations still need a little bit of work but are mostly in place. But Lee says he’s leaving next month for a trip to Japan, so he does not expect Sushi Tora to open until his return: “We’ll try for February.”

Yes Coffee Roasters of Monroe has opened its purist, minimalist Madison outlet, Sí Café, at 117 S. Pinckney St. Espresso is joined by espresso and water, espresso and milk, and three sizes of pour-overs. Get thee behind me, venti iced skinny hazelnut macchiato.

Tavernakaya, 27. E. Main St., is now open. In Madison’s latest stab at a Japanese gastropub or “izakaya” (and the first focused offering of that genre since Kushi Bar Muramoto closed in 2009), owner Michael Ding of Umami Ramen and Dumpling Bar will feature Wisconsin and Asian beers, wine, sake, craft cocktails and a large selection of Japanese whiskeys. Sushi, sandwiches, rice bowls and noodles are on the menu.

Sujeo, Tory Miller’s pan-Asian spot in the Constellation building at Livingston and East Washington, is launching a new lunch menu. When the restaurant first opened in August 2014, it had lunch hours; then it halted midday service. Now it’s back. Look for such fare as pastrami pho, shio ramen, bibimbap, Thai-style noodle salad and a two-piece Korean barbecue chicken. Sujeo is closed on Tuesdays for lunch, dinner — the whole shebang.

Rare Steakhouse, 14 W. Mifflin St., has a new happy hour with half-off signature cocktails, draft beer, wines by the glass and bar food items. That’s Monday-Friday 4-6 p.m. There’s also a “Downtown Dinner” prix fixe three-course menu for $45, offered on Sundays and 5-6:30 p.m. weeknights. It’s designed as a way to help folks to a downtown show in plenty of time, or for workers to grab dinner after work before heading home.

Madtown Chicken and Fish, 1101 N. Sherman Ave., is now open. It’s at the side of the Capitol Petroleum gas station and has previously been home to a couple short-lived hamburger and gyros vendors.

The Capital Tap Haus, a familiar presence in the 100 block of State Street since 2010, will be undergoing a big change after Jan. 1. The tavern, which has since its inception featured only tap beers from Capital Brewery of Middleton, will be switching to feature beer exclusively from Wisconsin Brewing Company of Verona. “It’s never been strictly a tied house,” says Bill Ford, director of development at the Noble Chef Hospitality Group, the parent company of the Capital Tap Haus. Tied houses are taverns that sell the beer of one particular brewery but are owned by the brewery. “This was a loose

CAROLYN FATH

agreement between Jack Sosnowski, the owner, and Carl Nolen, then-president at Capital.”

Nolen left Capital and started the Wisconsin Brewing Company in 2012, and Capital brewmaster Kirby Nelson left Capital that same year to head up the program at WBC. Nothing much will change at the State Street location except the name (Wisconsin Brewing Tap Haus) and the beer; the menu will stay pretty much the same, says Ford. The bar will be getting a new tap system. There will be 12 WBC taps; six will be year-round beers from the brewery, and six will be seasonals and limited releases from WBC’s In & Out series. n

Picture yourself dining in our Grand Ballroom, dancing the night away, or laughing it up during a hilarious comedy show. Take a walk on the wild side because at the end of the night, you’ll find our guest rooms are just an elevator ride away.

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n FOOD & DRINK

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Infectious Groove from O’So is a Berliner Weisse, i.e., a light-bodied sour wheat beer.

The style is known for being highly carbonated, and because it’s made with a high percentage of wheat and a low amount of hops, there’s very little bitterness or malty sweetness. In the 19th century the style became a beer of choice in Berlin, Germany; hence the name. Traditionally it ranges from 2.8% to 3.4% ABV. O’So’s version is a little stronger than the norm at 4.8% ABV due to the American ale yeast used in its fermentation.

This beer has been on tap under its trial batch name of Session Sour #2 at some area taphouses. O’so brewmaster Marc Buttera says initial feedback was so good that beginning this January, Infectious Groove will become part of O’so’s main lineup of beers.

If you’re looking for it on tap, it’s currently available at the Side Door. As Session Sour #2 it has also made recent appearances at the Malt House, World of Beer and several of the Mr. Brews Taphouses and it should be returning to many of these spots.

Infectious Groove usually sells for $5$6/glass on tap, and $9/six-pack.

— ROBIN SHEPARD

ROBIN SHEPARD

Besotted with Papa!

Hemingway’s rich cocktail life is captured in To Have and Have Another There are a number of writers who are known nearly as much for their drinking as their words: Dorothy Parker and her whiskey sours, Faulkner and his juleps. Sherwood Anderson died from swallowing a toothpick in his martini.

But none are quite the stuff of legend like Ernest “Papa” Hemingway.

Hemingway’s rich cocktail life is captured in To Have and Have Another

by Philip Greene, out in a new edition (Perigee, $24). It’s at once a literary romp, timepiece, biography and cocktail guide. And it is supremely enjoyable to read.

Traversing Hemingway’s life from when he was an ambulance driver in World War I, through the Paris of the Lost Generation, until his lone days at sea off the coast of Cuba, Greene weaves anecdotes from life and scenes from the novels to provide a backdrop for the writer’s heavydrinking itinerary. Arranged by drink, the book gives both instruction and context, making for a great handbook to work through leisurely or read at one go.

Thoroughly researched, with photographs and related ephemera, To Have and Have Another is a cocktail book that Hemingway buffs or budding cocktailians would be delighted to find in their gin-soaked stocking.

— ANDRE DARLINGTON

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n FOOD & DRINK

Salty and sweet The bacon craze lives on at Ground Zero Coffee The maple bacon latte from Ground Zero Coffee started out as a joke.

The cafe, located at 744 Williamson St., added some bacon items to its food menu last year, inspiring the baristas to incorporate the ingredient into their specialty coffee drink offerings. Soon it it became a customer favorite. It’s not technically on the menu anymore, but you can still get it if you ask nicely (which you should be doing anyway).

Zagat’s 2015 National Dining Trends Survey declared that America’s bacon obsession is waning. But what if we’re not ready for it to be over? What if we want to continue sprinkling salty meat morsels on all manner of foodstuffs — including coffee?

When the latte arrives, it’s fragrant and liberally foamed, with chunks of honest-to-goodness bacon nestled gently within the cloud of steamed milk. A shot of maple syrup (the coffee shop kind, not the pancake kind) adds sweetness and an overall breakfast vibe. I’m feeling it.

After the froth-and-meat layer, you’re left with maple-flavored liquid.

The espresso flavor doesn’t really come through, but it’s still pretty good.

Towards the end, though, I started losing interest in the drink — until I realized that there’s another layer of bacon on the bottom.

Ron Swanson would approve.

— ALLISON GEYER

STEPHANIE HOFMANN

Altburgers

Eats events

Three non-beefers to eat this week

Fine whiskeys Thursday, Dec. 17

Ginger salmon burger DLUX, 117 Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd.

Mooyah’s turkey burger.

ISTHMUS.COM DECEMBER 17–23, 2015

Turkey burger

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Along with a house-made salmon patty, this burger also delivers the veggies — carrot, daikon radish and a jicama-based Asian slaw. The wasabi mayo pulls the whole deal together.

Lamb burger

Pancakes with Santa Saturday, Dec. 19, 9-11 am

Mooyah, 6309 McKee Rd., 571 State St.

Dotty Dumpling’s Dowry, 317 N. Frances St.

Turkey often gets a bum rap as being too mild to stand out in a burger.

Mooyah’s version tastes like turkey, and pairs well with the multi-grain bun. All burgers are design-your-own: fried onion strings, avocado slices and spicy ranch make good bun-mates.

Ground lamb patties are difficult to find, which is surprising considering lamb has more flavor than most beef.

Here, Mediterranean spices join lettuce, tomato, feta and a tzatziki-style sauce.

Thai Cuisine

The Malt House, 2609 E Washington Ave., is featuring a sampling of six superpremium whiskies: Ardbeg Corryvrecken, The Macallan 18-year, Springbank 18-year, Four Roses Small Batch Ltd. 2015, George T. Stagg 2015, and Wild Turkey Master’s Keep 17-year. The flight is available for $30.

Pancakes and Santa! You can even show up in your pajamas! There will be laughter and, for some little ones, tears. There will be elves, and photos.

More importantly for our purposes, there will be a traditional breakfast buffet (eggs, bacon, sausage, potatoes) and a kid-sized pancake buffet. It’s at the Edgewater’s Grand Ballroom. Tickets ($23/13+, $10 ages 3-12) are available through theedgewater. com/events/pjs-pancakes-breakfast-with-santa/.

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Brunch with the Sugar Plum Fairy Sunday, Dec. 20, 10:30 am-12:30 pm

A brunch buffet with all the characters from The Nutcracker, with live music from the Wisconsin Chamber Orchestra, photos with the dancers, face painting and craft-making. Proceeds benefit Dane County Head Start/ Movement in Your World workshops.

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n SPORTS

Real life Not every coach is a superstar, but it’s worthy work

BY MICHAEL POPKE AND MARK TAUSCHER

Jason Eck’s mother would have preferred her oldest son not become a football coach.

Brutal stress levels, long hours and a simmering, ever-present uncertainty about the future can wreak havoc on a man’s personal life.

But, like his dad, Jay — an Edgewood High School graduate and journeyman basketball coach who led the University of WisconsinStevens Point to back-to-back Wisconsin Intercollegiate Athletic Conference championships in the ’80s — the former backup center for the Wisconsin Badgers eventually became a coach.

“Growing up in a coaching family predestined me to be a coach,” he says, adding that the Badgers’ 38-31 victory over UCLA in the 1999 Rose Bowl solidified his career choice.

“If, my senior year, we had been 0-11 instead of 10-1, things might have been different.

I realized my career was over, and I don’t think there’s any way to perfectly simulate the unique team camaraderie that goes on in a locker room. But the camaraderie of a coaching staff comes close.”

Eck has enjoyed plenty of camaraderie during his dozen seasons as a full-time college football coach, most recently as the offensive line coach at Montana State University. On Dec. 4, the Bobcats introduced new head coach Jeff Choate, who promptly announced he would be bringing in his own staff of assistants and not retaining Eck. And so the 38-year-old La Crosse native and father of four kids under the age of 13 is, as of this writing, seeking his 10th coaching job. Eck spent a total of nine months at

LAUREN MCGADNEY

Jason Eck, here with player Jamal Wilson at Hampton University, plans to coach until he retires.

Montana State, where he helped the Bobcats average a Big Sky Conference-leading 519.8 yards and 41.9 points per game in 2015.

During his 12 seasons, always as an assistant, Eck experienced the departure of a head coach six times. “That created four of the moves I’ve made,” Eck says, explaining how new head coaches, like Choate, often dismiss other coaches on staff. “The first time you go through something like that, it’s the unknown that gets you. My first time was at the University of Idaho, and I wondered, ‘What happens if I can’t get another job and we’re stuck out in Idaho?’ It’s like walking through a haunted house, and you don’t know where anything is.”

That sound you hear is the loud shattering of the myth that coaching college football is a glory job. “It’s definitely not glamorous,” Eck says.

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He began his coaching career at Wisconsin, where he served three seasons as a graduate assistant helping coach the Badgers’ offensive line. That stint included a Big 10 championship and Rose Bowl win in 1999, plus a 2000 Sun Bowl victory.

From there, Eck spent two years at the University of Colorado, three years at Idaho, two seasons each at Winona State and Ball State universities, and one year each at Western Illinois and Hampton universities. Before joining Montana State’s staff for the 2015 season, Eck was both offensive coordinator and offensive line coach at Minnesota State University-Mankato.

While at Minnesota State-Mankato, Eck’s offense posted the two highest single-season scoring marks in university history, including 526 points in 2013 and 600 points in 2014.

The Mavericks racked up more than 10,000 yards in that span and averaged 41.7 points per game. The team finished 14-1 in 2014 and advanced to the NCAA Division II Championship game for the first time ever.

“Leaving Minnesota State probably wasn’t a good idea,” Eck says on the day Choate named Eck’s replacement at Montana State.

But a coaching friend encouraged him to make the jump back to Division 1, and Eck was impressed by the passionate fan base in Bozeman, which he likened to Madison.

Although Eck does not know where his next coaching job will take him — he hasn’t ruled out head coaching if the right opportunity presents itself — he still has fond memories of Madison. In fact, Eck was offered scholarships to play at Division 2 colleges but opted to walk on at Wisconsin to be surrounded by quality coaches like Barry Alvarez and his staff.

He also likes to quote the late actor and comedian Chris Farley, a Madison native who appeared in a classic 1990 Saturday Night Live sketch in which a flabby Farley competed with a buff Patrick Swayze for a job as a Chippendales dancer.

“When you’re an offensive lineman, you don’t want to get into a dancing contest with the skinny guy,” Eck tells his players. “You’re better off going at the defense full speed and trying to get those guys on the ground. Sometimes I even pull up the clip and show them that no matter how great Farley’s effort was, he still lost that battle with the skinny guy.”

Eck, who holds a psychology degree and MBA from Wisconsin, admits he might end up in a different profession one day. But for now, he’s hoping to remain on the sidelines for as long as possible. “I do enjoy coaching,” he says.

“And I see myself doing it until I retire.” n

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DAVID STLUKA / UW ATHLETICS

Badgers win their thirdround game in the NCAA college basketball tournament against the Oregon Ducks.

Ultimately the team fell to Duke in the final.

Runners-up, 2015

Terek Nesheim of Mount Horeb dominates as the Vikings win the WIAA Division 2 state title.

Big names fell just short, but there were bright spots Let’s talk about the Madison Radicals, which flung its way to the American Ultimate Disc League Championship in San Jose, Calif., in When the hometown university’s basketAugust before losing to the San Jose Spiders, ball team makes it to the NCAA champion17-15. If you haven’t checked out the Radicals at ship game in early April, whatever happens Breese Stevens Field, I highly recommend you after that may seem anticlimactic. put that on next summer’s to-do list.

Except when the longtime coach of that Then there was the Madison Blaze, the basketball team makes a surprise retirecity’s Independent Women’s Football League ment announcement in the middle of his team, which battled in 15th season. The legendary Rock Hill, S.C., at the Bo Ryan, who won more basFounder’s Bowl in July, ketball games than any other losing to the Carolina University of Wisconsin coach Phoenix, 32-9. and took the Badgers to back On the other hand, the to-back Final Fours, called it a Hurling Club of Madison career on Dec. 15. went the distance, win His extremely likable ning the North American UW men’s basketball team “Junior C” title at the of last season fell just five North American County points short of a national Board Championships at championship, turning people Chicago Gaelic Park in who didn’t care about college Oak Forest, Ill. basketball into fans — and Meanwhile, the 9-3 giving those of us who do care GREG DIXON UW football team will cap something we’ll never forget.

Oregon’s Jen Brien scored two Paul Chryst’s first season The Badgers unwittingly also as head coach with a trip set the “runner-up” standard for goals in the WIAA Division 2 girls soccer championship. to the Holiday Bowl in San other local teams in 2015.

BY MICHAEL POPKE

Diego against the University of Southern California, in what essentially will be a home game for the Trojans.

And the UW women’s hockey team won the 2014-15 Western Collegiate Hockey Association tournament for the first time since 2011.

(This season’s squad takes a WCHA-leading 18-1-1 record into 2016.)

The Green Bay Packers, which lost to Seattle in last season’s NFC championship game, kept this season’s playoff hopes alive after Sunday’s 28-7 victory over Dallas on a rainy 54-degree day in Titletown. That’s quite an accomplishment, considering that a midseason skid gave the Minnesota Vikings a short-lived spot atop the NFC North before the Packers reignited their season with a beautiful Hail Mary touchdown pass from Aaron Rodgers to tight end Richard Rodgers (no relation!) to beat the Detroit Lions on Dec. 3 with time expired.

The Milwaukee Bucks were pretty much a non-story this season until Dec. 12, when they did what no other NBA team could: beat the reigning champion and previously 24-0 Golden State Warriors. The 108-95

victory at the BMO Harris Bradley Center made the Bucks a national story.

The Milwaukee Brewers were a national story, too, but for all the wrong reasons.

Their 68-94 effort in 2015 lumped the Brew Crew in with the worst teams in Major DARREN LEE League Baseball.

Finally, we need to pay respect to several area high school teams, especially at the Division 2 level. Mount Horeb won state titles in boys’ basketball, boys’ soccer and gymnastics in 2015, while the Oregon girls’ soccer team, Monona Grove boys’ swimming team, and Edgewood girls’ swimming and tennis teams also took home state championships.

Proving that the Madison area boasts the best high school swimmers in the state, McFarland’s boys’ and girls’ teams each were state runners-up.

In Division 1, Madison Memorial continued to dominate boy’s swimming, splashing its way to a fifth straight state title and its ninth in 11 years. And let’s not forget the Middleton girls’ golf team, which also won a state championship. n

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Comedy Club on State What better way to ring in the new year than laughing your ass off? The Comedy Club will host standup comic and Saturday Night Live alum Brooks Wheelan, who recorded his debut album, This Is Cool, Right?, at the Club in 2014. He’ll be doing three shows — 5:30, 8 and 10:30 p.m. — so anyone worried about missing out on some drunken revelry has the option to go early. Trust us, he’ll be just as funny at all of them.

Concourse Hotel If you’re looking for a high-class option, the Concourse has you covered. For $179, you get a room, tickets to two different New Year’s parties and a midnight champagne toast. Three other packages are available, all the way up to $449, which also includes a steak and lobster dinner, admission to an additional party, a comedy show and live music. It’s not cheap, but it’s one of the safest bets you’ll find for a good time. Performers include local gypsy swing outfit Harmonious Wail, Milwaukee party band Blue Light Scene, and Chicago comedians Jim Flannigan and Pat McGann.

DLUX “Dress up to get down” at DLUX, which is offering a New Year’s bash that includes an open bar complete with draft beers, kegged cocktails and a champagne toast at midnight. Starting at 9 p.m., DJ Eugene Craven will provide the beats for the evening. Individual tickets start at $85.

The Edgewater The Edgewater joins the NYE action with its inaugural Gravity Ball, a spectacle set to take place at their Sky Bar with music from two high-energy Chicago bands: funk outfit Bumpus and the Hot Sauce Committee, who specialize in dance music and ’90s covers. Add in the complimentary appetizers, party favors and midnight champagne toast, and the $95 ticket pays for itself. 9 p.m. start time.

Fire Retarded

The Frequency The official “New Year’s Rockin’ Eve” may be in New York, but those in search of a truly rockin’ holiday need look no further than The Frequency, which will host Madison “glamour meets demon rock” crew Devil to Drag (9 p.m.). And it’s only 10 bucks.

Great Dane Hilldale The Great Dane will look to the past to ring in the future with music from Retro Specz, a Madisonarea six-piece that plays everything from Cheap Trick to Fleetwood Mac. The five-dollar fun begins at 9 p.m., so anyone aiming to save a little cash this New Year’s rather than blow it all on bottle service should mark their calendars.

High Noon Saloon Party-goers seeking a slightly harder edge to their evening should check out the High Noon’s New Year’s Eve Bash, which will include tribute sets to Bad Brains, Butthole Surfers, Nirvana, the Distillers, Smashing Pumpkins, Morphine and Wilco. $10 buys you all that plus a DJ set from Easy Data. 8 p.m. start.

Ivory Room The Ivory Room will once again host its Midnight Masquerade, starting at 9 p.m., where $90 gets you access to an open bar, champagne toasts and dueling pianists. And for anyone worried about spending too much this New Year’s Eve, the Ivory Room is a chance to profit off the holiday! A best mask contest could win you a $200 Chef Noble gift card.

Madison’s They advertise it as “always the best party of the year,” and the scant $20 cover makes “Jazz’n Up the Joint” worth checking out. Beginning at 9 p.m., DJ Brook will provide the music, and guests are encouraged to “dress to impress.” Groups may want to consider the $260 VIP option, which guarantees a booth for six, a liter of Tito’s Handmade Vodka and a bottle of champagne.

Majestic Theatre For the fourth consecutive year, Majestic will host “Decadance” — basically the venue’s popular ’80s vs ’90s dance party, but with a twist: Starting at 8 p.m., DJs Nick Nice and Mike Carlson will spin 100 years’ worth of popular music, decade by decade, and featuring everyone from Louis Armstrong and Sam Cooke to Beyoncé and Justin Timberlake. For $20, it’s a history lesson and a dance party.

Merchant Merchant will be offering a two-part affair this holiday. From 5 to 10 p.m., $65 will buy you a three-course prix fixe meal, with optional wine and cocktail pairings for an additional $25. Then, from 11 p.m. to 4 a.m., DJs Bruce Blaq and Phil Money will spin dance music, and guests will receive party favors and a midnight champagne toast.

Those looking to skip dinner can simply hit up the late-night event for $10 at the door.

Mickey’s Tavern If you want to have a good time but steer clear of downtown, Mickey’s is the place to be. Starting at 10 p.m., they’ll be putting on a free rock show that’ll include ass-kicking Madisonians the Flavor That Kills, Fire Retarded and Wood Chickens as well as Minneapolis-based “casual punks” France Camp.

Tempest Oyster Bar Michael Cammilleri, Vince Jesse and Scott Beardsley will provide “groovy, classy and cool sounds that go great with any cocktail” as part of the restaurant’s Hammond Organ Nite (9:30 p.m.).Plus, it comes with a great seafood dinner. What more could you want? n

n ART

“No other collection compares” Alumni donation of ceramic sculptures raises profile of Chazen Museum

BY BRIAN RIESELMAN

It’s a gift that sets the Chazen Museum of Art apart from its peers. In early November, the campus-based museum announced it had received a major donation from contemporary ceramic art collectors Stephen and Pamela Hootkin. The diverse sculptural artworks of this collection, currently valued at around $5 million, will arrive in annual increments from the couple’s Manhattan home.

Twelve works from the Hootkins’ collection have been delivered since the announcement of the gift. The sculptures join an already impressive array from this collection initially loaned for the museum’s dazzling exhibit “The Human Condition,” which ran September through November.

“A collection of this depth will make the Chazen an international destination,” says Chazen director Russell Panczenko. “No other collection compares.” He cites the Clark-Del Vecchio collection in Houston as the only other large assemblage of this kind that comes close.

Stephen Hootkin, a Sheboygan-raised 1964 graduate of the UW, and his wife, Pamela, began collecting ceramic pieces about 30 years ago, eventually amassing more than 300 works representing the most important artists working in the field, including Montana-based Beth Cavener, former MacArthur Fellow Daisy Youngblood, Justin Novak and Michael Lucero.

Panczenko distinguishes these clay sculptures from functional and decorative ceramic works of art. “All of these works have some psychological or emotional human content,” he explains. “We might individually have our

Beth Cavener’s “L’Amante”

Daisy Youngblood’s “Brahmin Bull”

Justin Novak’s “Thomas”

GAVIN ASHWORTH PHOTOS

own favorites, but what makes these pieces the best works of their kind is found in the physical achievement, materiality and complexity of the artists’ visions and talents.”

Climbing the stairs to the top-floor gallery of contemporary ceramic and glass sculpture that is named for the Hootkins is a fun and dramatic

immersion into the powerful presence of these works. The immediacy, accessibility, beauty and sometimes strangeness of the three-dimensional human and animal forms, from small- to large-scale, inspire wonder.

Clay as a sculptural medium is more subtle and finely malleable than marble or bronze, Panczenko says. Indeed, mastery of technical

details feels fulfilled in each of the works, from the sweet face of Youngblood’s umber-soft “Brahmin Bull” to the delicate fingers and toes in Novak’s ghostly stonewhite “Thomas.”

The contemporary aspects of these dynamic pieces, while remaining unique to each work, often show an edginess and ironic humor. The animals are immediately compelling, particularly Cavener’s works, with their naturalistic wildness and haunting antecedents in Disney’s or Chuck Jones’ anthropomorphic creatures.

Cavener’s “The Question That Devours” is a ferocious, explosive chase between a coiled, open-mouthed coyote and a compressed ball of a rabbit, forming a question mark in shades ranging from silver-white to slate-gray. Cavener creates her gorgeous animals from 800 to 2,000 pounds of clay.

Then she sections and hollows out the work, forming muscle and sinew from the inside.

After the work is reassembled and fired, she uses ordinary house paint and ink to make a smooth finish.

Pieces from the collection can be found throughout the Chazen, including “L’Amante,” Cavener’s show-stopper housed in the newer, connected east building. This large-scale, deceptively languid rabbit has an unsparing soft gaze, delicate yet mighty ears and a draped muscular leg suggesting the creature is not to be messed with. The bunny’s intricate Yakuza (Japanese mafia since Samurai days) tattoos, painted by Alessandro Gallo, seem to underscore the point.

As a taste of what is yet to come, “L’Amante” is an appropriate envoy, a treasure and a triumph. n

Madison Area

Community Christmas Festival Madison Area Community Chorus & Orchestra Ringing Badgers Handbell Ensemble & Maestro Brass Choral Arts Society Chorale MA R K B L OEDOW, A RT I ST I C DI RECT OR

Sat, Dec 19 – 2pm & 7pm • Sun, Dec 20 – 2pm Middleton Performing Arts Center, 2100 Bristol Street, Middleton, WI

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DECEMBER 17–23, 2015 ISTHMUS.COM

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33

n MUSIC

A Baroque holiday Madison Bach Musicians deliver masterpieces with flair

BY JOHN W. BARKER

For the fifth successive year, the Madison Bach Musicians have brightened our December with a Baroque Holiday Concert. This year’s event took place before a packed audience at First Congregational Church on Dec. 12.

Amid the seasonal floods of music no one would want to bother with any other time of the year, artistic director Trevor Stephenson’s group draws upon the vast literature of Baroque music to bring us compositions worth hearing all year long.

Two items were totally unrelated to Christmas. One was a quartet from Georg Philipp Telemann’s collection of household chamber pieces called Tafelmusik or Musique de table, delicately played. The other involved the first three movements from a brief setting of the Latin Mass segment, Gloria, composed by George Frideric Handel when touring Catholic Italy. It was cast in the form of a solo motet for soprano and strings, and these movements were sung brilliantly by Chelsea Morris.

For the opening, three other singers — alto Margaret Fox, tenor William Ottow,

Under the direction of Trevor Stephenson (at keyboard, center), the ensemble draws on the rich literature of Baroque music.

bass Luke MacMillan — joined Morris to present the Christmas adaptation of the Tudor song “Greensleeves,” which was followed by a set of variations on the tune for two violins and harpsichord. And, before the intermission, we were given a favorite seasonal masterpiece, the eighth of Arcangelo Corelli’s Concerti grossi, Op. 6, this one known as the “Christmas Concerto” for its conclusion with an Italian Nativity pastorale. It was given a lovely performance that particularly pointed up the ensemble leadership of violinist Kangwon Kim.

The heart of the program was a pair of cantatas by the group’s namesake, Johann Sebastian Bach. One, BWV 61, based on the chorale “Nun komm der Heiden Heiland,” was written for the first Sunday in Advent, its text expressing welcome to the Savior. The other was BWV 151, written for the third day of the Christmas week as a more intimate expression of receiving Jesus’ arrival and message.

The four singers were the stars in these two cantatas, bringing forth lovely singing.

KENT SWEITZER

My one reservation is that their German diction was uneven or weak, especially in the case of the otherwise splendid Morris. These works carry messages Bach earnestly wanted to convey: Words are essential, and consonants are especially crucial in German.

The instrumental forces, variously deployed, consisted of eight string players, a flautist and Stevenson on harpsichord, a highly skilled and polished team. n

n BOOKS

Creature comfort A new biography profiles the author of Rascal

ISTHMUS.COM DECEMBER 17–23, 2015

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One of the most famous and beloved Wisconsinites has returned, just in time for the holidays.

He is a raccoon, and his name is Rascal.

Sterling North and the Story of Rascal, by Sheila Terman Cohen, is actually about the pet’s biographer, who was raised in Edgerton. It’s aimed at readers in fourth and fifth grades, part of the Badger Biographies series from the Wisconsin Historical Society Press. But grownups can learn from it, too.

Rascal: A Memoir of a Better Era was published in 1963. North recalled how, as a motherless child with a distant father and a brother fighting in World War I, he befriended and made a pet of a wild raccoon.

Rascal, the “ringtailed wonder,” served as a generational touchstone to many — one final embrace of childhood innocence before the nation plunged into the era of the cultural revolution, Vietnam and Watergate.

Children either read Rascal, had it read to them, or saw the 1969 Walt Disney movie adaptation starring Billy Mumy (better known for portraying Will Robinson in Lost in Space).

In Sterling North and the Story of Rascal, Cohen charmingly relates the author’s

Sterling North made a pet of a wild raccoon.

life story, which she based on primary research such as interviews with family and friends. We learn that Thomas Sterling North was born next to Lake Koshkonong in 1906. He survived childhood polio, dropped his first name and became a newspaper reporter, freelance writer, literary editor and editor of children’s books. He died in 1974.

Animal friendships were a recurring theme for North. In 1943, long before Rascal, he wrote Midnight and Jeremiah, the tale of a lad and his mischievous lamb. Six years later, Disney made it into a film titled So Dear to My Heart.

But it will always be the raccoon story for which North is remembered.

Sterling North and the Story of Rascal is an excellent read about a significant Wisconsin figure. I wish Cohen would write a longer version for adults. n

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I’ve always known that choreographer Li Chiao-Ping is smart. But at the opening night of armature: in medias res (which ran Dec. 1012 at Overture’s Promenade Hall), I learned more about what informs and shapes her as an artist. This final show in a series celebrating her company’s 20 years in Madison provides an excellent overview of her work.

The program opens with the Wisconsin premiere of “Cline,” which has Li’s signature athleticism, challenging floor work and stylized gestures. But it is also more tender, gentle and unabashedly pretty than a lot of her choreography: A dancer cradles the cheek of a castmate, and a pair of dancers rely upon each other for support, one dancer winding around another.

Excerpts from the choreographer’s critically acclaimed 1991 “Yellow River” are particularly compelling. It’s obvious why this very personal work, which delves into her Chinese heritage and affinity for mathematics, helped launch her career. Li emerges, running in place and doing a cartoony little jig, explaining, “I’m running as fast as I can to get away from superstitions” before reciting a litany of superstitious beliefs.

In “Exact and Precise,” standout Liz Sexe performs an impossibly hard solo, tackling

the relentless demands with virtuosity. Sexe is clearly a very different dancer than Li, but they both convey fierce drive. Mozart’s music dictates the action here, but Sexe rides it out, pausing to tick off the counts 1, 2, 3, 4 on her fingers before launching again into a whirlwind of movement.

Closing out the “Yellow River” section Li perches on a huge dictionary in the appropriately titled “Tome.”

Li premieres her latest solo, “in medias res” (taking its name from the literary device where the narrative begins in the middle), and this piece neatly sums up so much of what I admire about Li — her enviable strength, love of wordplay and ingenuity. Li dances on, around, under and cantilevers (sometimes precariously so) off a table. In each piece, I felt like I was seeing more of her than usual. She’s always a striking presence and formidable technician, but here she is more engaged with the audience, more comfortable and more revealing.

For me, it would have been fine to end the evening with “in medias res.” Megan Thompson’s unfortunate and unflattering costume in “Refrain” is distracting, and the work is as heavy handed as Wagner’s music.

“Gó Redux,” with its cast in black sports bras, short little trunks, clunky boots and white tutus, tries too hard to be edgy. n

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n SCREENS

Swept away In the Heart of the Sea is a gale-force mini-epic

BY MARC SAVLOV

ISTHMUS.COM DECEMBER 17–23, 2015

The unimaginable chain of catastrophic events that led to the destruction of the Nantucket-based whaling ship Essex in the Pacific Ocean in 1820 is the subject of Ron Howard’s new film. The real-life fate of Essex, her captain and crew partly inspired Herman Melville to write Moby-Dick; or, the Whale in 1851. Howard, working with screenwriter Charles Leavitt, has adapted author Nathaniel Philbrick’s nonfiction account of the ship’s travails into a gale-force mini-epic of man vs. man vs. nature. That’s a theme Howard has returned to again and again. Apollo 13, The Alamo and the superlative HBO series From the Earth to the Moon are all about sturdy men facing long odds, often hobbled by ego and hubris, but still somehow always heroic in their own ways.

In the Heart of the Sea certainly surpasses Warner Bros.’ 1956 take on Melville’s fish tale for which Ray Bradbury served as an unlikely screenwriter (he was later supplanted by no less than Roald Dahl when famously irascible director John Huston proved too editorially combative for Bradbury’s taste). Howard’s film employs a smart framing device for the saga, in which an Essex survivor, former cabin boy Tom Nickerson (played with relish by a hoary Brendan Gleeson) recounts the longago maritime terror to a young Mr. Melville (Ben Whishaw), who was at that point a struggling, insecure author and one-timeonly whaler crew member. The heart of this particular story isn’t Melville’s leviathan but the power struggle between the ship’s first mate, Nantucket “landsman” Owen Chase (Chris Hemsworth), and his captain, the highborn but unproven George Pollard (Benjamin Walker).

Setting sail with an order to return with 3,000 barrels of whale oil, the sharply dressed but wholly inexperienced Captain Pollard almost immediately steers the vessel into a disastrous gale “to test the men.”

This puts him at odds with his more sensible

38

Television Making a Murderer

The film includes some of the year’s most heart-stopping special effects.

first mate and the majority of the crew. The whales prove scarcer than expected, and the Essex sails far into the Pacific, running afoul of that legendary albino “sea monster.” Like Spielberg’s great white, this mammoth mammal has a flair for destruction. In a bravura sequence of chaos and carnage atop the bloody deep, the Essex is destroyed and the surviving crew — Chase and Captain Pollard among them — are cast adrift in their tiny hunting boats, 3,000 nautical miles from land. It is here that their horrors commence in earnest.

Director Howard, his actors and indeed the entire salty sweep of the film are all aided tremendously by visual effects supervisor Jody Johnson and his team’s spectacular combination of live action and flawless CGI creations,

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chief among them the great white whale.

Watching its gargantuan fluke pummeling the sea into a mini-tsunami as it dives and breaches is one of the most heart-stopping special effects of 2015.

Friends of Greenpeace and Captain Paul Watson’s Sea Shepherd Conservation Society (of TV’s Whale Wars) should also take note: Howard’s film affirms the great whale’s natural place, power and obvious intellect; 19th-century whaling is portrayed as a ghastly, gore-drenched practice, soon to be undone by overfishing and lack of vision.

As that one massive eye silently fixes on Chase as it glides by topside, the future of American whaling is instantly, obviously and poetically undone. n

True crime and streaming television are both hot right now, and they’re about to meet.

Making a Murderer is a Netflix documentary series debuting Dec. 18, and centered on Steven Avery, a Wisconsin man exonerated by DNA evidence in 2003 after serving 18 years in prison on a rape conviction — but whose story took a horrific turn when he was accused of murder two years later.

The show is the latest in an old but suddenly burgeoning genre. The Serial podcast became a cultural phenomenon late last year with its investigation of the Adnan Syed/ Hae Min Lee murder case, and it recently returned for a second season that focuses on Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl, the U.S. soldier who left his post in Afghanistan and was held captive by the Taliban. Earlier this year, HBO’s The Jinx brought renewed attention to elusive real estate heir Robert Durst, who has been connected to three homicides but has never been convicted. And an upcoming FX series, American Crime Story, will tackle O.J. Simpson when it premieres on Feb. 2, 2016.

While Serial and The Jinx made us wait for each new installment, Making a Murderer arrives in true Netflix fashion: All 10 episodes will launch at once.

— JON KJARSGAARD

The film list New releases Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip: The trio of rodents attempt to stop Dave from marrying his new girlfriend.

Bajirao Mastani: Hindi-language historical romance from director Sanjay Leela Bhansali.

The Big Short: A quartet of outsiders take advantage of the credit and housing bubble; based on Michael Lewisâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; book.

Gift the gift of beauty you can believe in.

Dilwale: Hindi-language action comedy from director Rohit Shetty.

Sisters: Funny gals Amy Poehler and Tina Fey star as siblings who head to Orlando to clear out their parentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; house. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a terrific premise, but it feels like a series of sketches rather than a cohesive movie.

Up to 6 rentals at a time One of each pair may be a new arrival Expires 12/24/2015

Recent releases Creed: Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone) passes the torch to Adonis Johnson Creed (Michael B. Jordan), the son of his former nemesis. The film isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t a KO, but it goes all 12 rounds with vitality and style.

The Good Dinosaur: Pixar continues to reign supreme in the realm of family-focused animation with this story about a world in which dinosaurs never went extinct. It may not be the studioâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most original or most heartwarming film, but it gets the job done in fine fashion.

Krampus: The title refers to the shaggy, horned and cloven-hoofed anti-St. Nicholas of AustroGermanic myth that punishes bad little boys and girls by dragging them down into the underworld. The filmmakers and cast put their all into this effectively freaky Yuletide horror show, and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s evident, right down to the pitch-perfect denouement.

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Star Wars: The Force Awakens: The venerable sci-fi franchise is turned over to writer-director J.J. Abrams for a sequel to Return of the Jedi.

More film events Die Hard: The 1988 thriller about a police officer (Bruce Willis) who must save several hostages, including his wife, at a Christmas party. Majestic Theatre, Dec. 19, 7 pm.

STARTS FRIDAY STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS NO PASSES - CC & DESCRIPTIVE NARRATION Fri: (1:20, 2:00, 4:10, 6:30), 7:00, 9:50;

Minions: Animated tale focusing on the titular trio from Despicable Me as they search for a new villain to serve. Nothing holds the filmâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s attention for very long, but the fleetness of the script mostly works in its favor. No gag gets over-lavished, no plotline overstays its welcome. Central Library, Dec. 22, 6 pm.

Sat: (11:10 AM, 1:20, 2:00, 4:10, 6:30), 7:00, 9:50; Sun: (11:00 AM, 11:10 AM, 2:00, 2:15, 5:00), 7:30, 8:00; Mon & Tue: (2:00, 2:15, 5:00), 7:30, 8:00; Wed & Thu: (2:00, 2:15), 5:00, 5:15, 8:00, 8:15

SISTERS

BROOKLYN

Miracle on 34th Street: The Christmas perennial about all the bizarre, delightful complications which ensue when Macyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s inadvertently hires Kris Kringle as one of its Santas. Palace and Point, Dec. 20 & 23, 2 and 7 pm.

IN THE HEART OF THE SEA

Also in theaters Ant-Man

The Intern

Brooklyn

The Martian

Hotel Transylvania 2

The Night Before

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2

Sicario

Inside Out

Spotlight

Spectre

NO PASSES - CC & DESCRIPTIVE

Fri: (1:40, 4:25), 7:05, 9:40; Sat: (11:05 AM, 1:40, 4:25), 7:05, 9:40; Sun: (11:05 AM, 1:40, 4:25), 7:50; Mon & Tue: (2:00, 5:05), 7:50; Wed: (2:00, 5:05); Thu: (2:00, 5:05), 7:50

THE BIG SHORT

NO PASSES - CC & DESCRIPTIVE NARRATION

Wed & Thu: (2:05), 4:55, 7:40

ITâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S A WONDERFUL LIFE (1946)

Wed: (2:30), 7:30

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Showtimes subject to change. Visit website to confirm Closed captioning and descriptive narrative available for select films

Showtimes for December 18 - December 24

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â?? ISTHMUS MOVIE TIMES All the movies, all the times

DECEMBER 17â&#x20AC;&#x201C;23, 2015 ISTHMUS.COM

The World of Apu: The final entry in Satyajit Rayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;Apuâ&#x20AC;? trilogy contemplates urban Indian life and the joys and pains of marriage and separation. Cinematheque, Dec. 18, 7 pm.

CC & DESCRIPTIVE NARRATION

Fri & Sat: (4:50), 7:15, 9:35; Sun to Thu: (5:15), 7:45; Wed: (4:55 PM); Thu: (5:10 PM)

Rear Window: Alfred Hitchcockâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 1954 thriller about a man confined to a wheelchair (James Stewart) who thinks he sees a neighbor commit a murder. Lakeview Library, Dec. 18, 5:30 pm.

UW Communication Arts Showcase: Annual curated presentation brings UW studentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; films, videos and animated works to the big screen for the first time. Cinematheque, Dec. 19, 7 pm.

NO PASSES - CC & DESCRIPTIVE NARRATION

Fri: (1:50, 4:30), 7:10, 9:45; Sat: (11:15 AM, 1:50, 4:30), 7:10, 9:45; Sun: (11:15 AM, 1:50, 4:30), 7:35; Mon to Thu: (2:20, 4:50), 7:35 SPOTLIGHT Fri: (1:35, 4:15), 6:55, 9:40; Sat: (11:00 AM, 1:35, 4:15), 6:55, 9:40; Sun: (11:00 AM, 1:35, 4:15), 7:40; Mon & Tue: (2:05, 4:55), 7:40; Wed: 7:40 PM; Thu: (2:25), 7:45

39

PICK OF THE WEEK

The Ballroom Thieves Thursday, Dec. 17, The Frequency, 7 pm The Boston-based Ballroom Thieves began as a duo in a dorm room and have evolved into a trio that blends folk, blues and hymnals with vibrant harmonies for a sound both familiar and uncommon. With the Bros. Landreth, the Sharrows.

picks thu dec 17 MU S I C

Twist Bar and Grill: Hannah Rand, 7 pm.

THEATER & DANCE

Up North Pub: Catfish Stephenson, free, 9 pm.

1855 Saloon, Cottage Grove: Eric Joseph, folk, free, 6 pm.

Wando’s: DJ Drewski, 10 pm Thu.-Sat. & Tue.

Babe’s Restaurant: Robert J, Americana, 6:30 pm.

Yahara Bay Distillers: WheelHouse, free, 6:30 pm.

Stick Vega: “Explosions & Whiskey,” through 1/31, Waypoint Public House, Monona. 222-0224.

COME DY

Stephanie Hunder: “The Realm of the Forget-menots,” through 1/19, UW Union South-Gallery 1308.

262-7592.

The Bayou: Johnny Chimes, guitar/piano, free, 5:30 pm.

Bos Meadery: Tenacious B, Appalachian, free, 6 pm.

Brink Lounge: Madison Jazz Orchestra, 7:30 pm.

PhotoMidwest Black & White Interest Group: Photographs, through 1/2, UW-Extension Lowell Center.

256-2621.

Cardinal Bar: DJ Jo-Z, Latin, 10 pm.

Christy’s Landing: Open Mic with Shelley Faith, free, 8 pm.

Claddagh Irish Pub, Middleton: Slipjig, Celtic, free, 6 pm.

Club Tavern, Middleton: Pat McCurdy, free, 9 pm.

Gadzooks! Cinderella!

(It Ain’t Shakespeare)

Dane County Regional Airport: Jason Kutz 4 pm; Ambulatones 7 pm.

Essen Haus: Big Wes Turner’s Trio, Americana, free, 9 pm.

Thursday, Dec. 17, Bartell Theatre, 7:30 pm

The Frequency: The Ballroom Thieves, 7 pm.

Harmony Bar: Backroom Harmony Band, Anna Elizabeth Laube, Americana, 8 pm.

High Noon Saloon: Wyrding, Ossuary, Terran Wretch, Tubal Cain, Conjuror, 8 pm.

Holy Wisdom Monastery, Middleton: Middleton High School Choir, holiday concert, free, 12:45 pm.

Ivory Room: Josh Dupont, Michael Massey, 9 pm.

Knuckle Down Saloon: Blues Jam, free, 8 pm.

Liliana’s, Fitchburg: Ken Wheaton, guitar, free, 5:30 pm.

Louisianne’s, Middleton: Jim Erickson, jazz, free, 6 pm.

Madison Country Day School, Waunakee: Madison Country Day School Winter Concerts, Grades 5-8 at 5:30 pm and high school at 7 pm.

ISTHMUS.COM DECEMBER 17–23, 2015

Merchant: Prognosis Negative, rock, free, 10 pm.

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Michael Kienitz: Photographs of Central American cooperative members, through 1/31, Capitol Lakesplaza gallery. 283-2003.

Mickey’s Tavern: Mal-O-Dua, French swing/Hawaiian slack key, free, 5:30 pm; DJ Evan Woodward, free, 10 pm.

North and South Seafood: Jerry & Nora, free, 5 pm.

Paoli Schoolhouse: Mike McCloskey, guitar, free, 6 pm.

Plan B: DJs Brook, Lizzy T, 9 pm.

Ski’s Saloon, Sun Prairie: Tyler Wied, free, 7:30 pm.

Tip Top Tavern: Kurt Funfsinn, guitar, free, 10 pm.

Tofflers, New Glarus: The Jimmys, blues, free, 8 pm.

Tricia’s Country Corners, McFarland: Frank James & Bobby Briggs, country, free, 8 pm.

Jackie Kashian Thursday, Dec. 17, Comedy Club on State, 8:30 pm

It’s a homecoming of sorts for Wisconsin comic Jackie Kashian, who got her start heckling Sam Kinison right here in Madison (seriously — it was an offhand comment about open mics by management that inspired her to become a standup). In the decades since, Kashian has become one of the nation’s premier touring comics. Beginning in 2005, she has hosted the twiceweekly podcast The Dork Forest, which she records in her living room. With Dash Kwiatkowski, Mike Mercury. ALSO: Friday and Saturday (8 & 10:30 pm), Dec. 18-19.

S PECI AL EV ENTS Holiday Glow on Monroe: Special events & activities, 4-8 pm, 12/17, Monroe Street’s 1500-3500 blocks. Free. 255-8211.

Holiday Express: Annual flower & model train show, 10 am-4 pm, 12/5-31, Olbrich Gardens. Closed at 2 pm 12/24 & all day 12/25. $5 ($3 ages 3-12). 246-4550.

If you are seeking some nonsentimental entertainment this holiday season, try Mercury Players’ British-style “panto.” In this Monty Python-esque slapstick, the Royal Shakespeare Players have been reduced to presenting the classic fairy tale to make money. It’s okay to boo the baddies at this family-friendly show. ALSO: Friday (7:30 pm) and Saturday (4 pm), Dec. 18-19.

A Christmas Carol: The Musical: Dinner theater, 11/1112/27, Palace Theater, Wisconsin Dells, WednesdaysSundays. $59.95-$49.95. dellspalace.com. 253-4000.

BOOKS Margaret M. Goss: Discussing “The Uncommitted” with Doug Moe, 6:30 pm, 12/17, Mystery to Me. 283-9332.

ART EXHIBITS & EV ENTS MSCR Pottery Sale: Annual fundraiser, 8 am-6 pm on 12/17-18 and 9 am-3 pm, 12/19, Madison School & Community Recreation. 204-3005.

Yellow Rose Gallery Showcase: 7-11 pm, 12/17, 122 State St. #201, with music by Solis, refreshments. artonstate.com.

John Mix & Bernie Tennis: “Prairie Spirits, Forest Mists & a few Portraits,” paintings, through 2/29, Fair Trade Coffee House. 268-0477.

Overture Center: Kent Williams, Gabe StraderBrown & Jo Scheder: “(im)material,” Gallery I; Spooky Boobs Collective: “The Patterns’ Vicious Influence,” Gallery II; Artworking: “33 con·ver·sa·tions,” Gallery III, through 3/6. 258-4169.

FUN D RA I S ERS “Star Wars” Premiere Party: River Food Pantry benefit, 6-8 pm, 12/17, Sundance Cinemas 608, with prizes & contests. Admission with donation of nonperishable food items. 316-6900.

S PEC I A L I N T ERESTS Hu, a Love Song to God: Eckankar chanting, 7:30 pm, 12/17, Goodman Community Center. 238-5650.

PO L I T I C S & AC T I V I S M Peregrine Forum: “Terrorism and Religious Terrorism: Theory & Practice, Myths & Realities,” talk by Adam Schesch, Room 104, 7 pm, 12/17, Central Library. 284-9082.

PUB L I C MEET I N GS Wisconsin Department of Transportation Open House: Discussing Verona Road (Hwy. 18/151) reconstruction, 5:30-7:30 pm, 12/17, Fitchburg Fire Station No. 2. 884-1227.

Madison Parks Playground Meeting: Discussing improvements at Wheeler Heights Park, 6 pm, 12/17, Warner Park Community Rec. Center. 261-9671.

Dane County Board of Supervisors: Meeting, 7 pm, 12/17, City-County Building. 266-5758.

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fri dec 18 M USIC

jojean retrum

Wisconsin Union Theater A T

S h A n n O n

Mr. Robert’s: The Earthlings, free, 10 pm.

Natt Spil: DJ Phil Money, free, 10 pm.

Rex’s Innkeeper, Waunakee: Universal Sound, 8:30 pm. g u e s t

a rt i s t s

Tip Top Tavern: The Werewolverine, Pony Ver, Willma Flynn-Stone, Christmas show, free, 9 pm.

gillian murphy & james whiteside

h A l l

Tuvalu Coffee, Verona: Boolean Operators, free, 7 pm.

f r o m a m e r i c a n b a l l e t t h e at r e

Dance Wisconsin Orchestra conducted by Taras Nahirniak

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Mother Fool’s: Open Mic with Angelica Engel, 8 pm.

Red Zone: Mutilated By Zombies, Disappearance, Squidhammer, Cast In Fire, Haunted & Hopeless, 8 pm.

unio ntheater.w is c.edu

BEER

Middleton-Cross Plains Area Performing Arts Center: Middleton Community Orchestra, 7:30 pm.

Red Rock Saloon: Madison County, country, 10 pm.

S at u r day, d ec . 1 9 t h , 2 p m & 7 : 3 0 p m S u n day, d ec . 2 0 t h , 2 p m

or Call

Mickey’s Tavern: The Garza, Full Vinyl Treatment, Emile Brandt, free, 10 pm.

H O R S D’O E U V R E S

DESSERTS

Up North Pub: Bob & Brandon Allen, free, 8 pm.

Joanna Newsom Friday, Dec. 18, Orpheum Theater, 8 pm

One of the most feverishly followed artists in indie music, avant-garde folkie Joanna Newsom has spent the past five years relatively inactive. Sure, she did use that time to lend her instantly recognizable voice to films like The Muppets and Inherent Vice, as well as get married (to comic actor Andy Samberg), but as far as music goes, she’s stayed off the radar — until now. Her most recent album, Divers, was released in October, and between the baroque instrumentation and ethereal vocals, it’s like she never left. With Alela Diane & Ryan Francesconi.

Badger Bowl: Shelley Faith, 9:15 pm.

Bandung: Jeff Alexander & Anapaula Strader, The Oudist Colony, Brazilian/Middle Eastern, free, 9 pm.

The Bayou: DJ Chamo, Latin, free, 10 pm.

Brocach-Square: The Currach, free, 5:30 pm.

Wil-Mar Center: Stephen Lee Rich, Wild Hog in the Woods concert, 8 pm.

Wisconsin Brewing Co., Verona: DJ Toe Knee V, ‘80s, free, 7 pm.

T H EAT ER & DA N C E

A Christmas Carol Friday, Dec. 18, Capitol Theater, 7 pm

What would Christmas be today without Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol?

The timeless tale put the phrase “Merry Christmas” on the map, reassociated the holiday with familial gatherings and reminded readers of the season’s true spirit.

This year, John Pribyl reprises his role as Scrooge and James Ridge directs CTM’s signature production and holiday classic.

ALSO: Saturday (2:30 & 7 pm), Sunday (2:30 pm), Tuesday (7 pm) and Wednesday (2:30 pm), Dec. 19-20 and 22-23.

Capitol Rotunda: Waunakee High School, free, noon.

The Eight: Reindeer Monologues: Dark comedy from Know Better Productions, 11 pm on 12/18 and 5 pm, 12/19, Broom Street Theater. $10. 332-3763.

Cardinal Bar: Tony Barba Trio, jazz, free, 5:30 pm; DJs Lovecraft, T Rux, 9 pm.

CO MEDY

Buck & Honey’s, Sun Prairie: Kevin Andrews, free, 6 pm.

Claddagh, Middleton: Lucas Cates, free, 8 pm.

Crescendo Espresso: Ben Ferris Quintet, jazz, 7 pm.

Crossroads Coffee, Cross Plains: John Widdicombe & Nelson Graham, jazz, 7 pm.

Dane County Airport: Cambridge High School Show Choir/Jazz Band, 9 am; O’Keeffe Middle School Choir, 10 am; Whitehorse Middle School, 12:30 pm; Amber Nicole Dilger, 1:30 pm; Soggy Prairie Boys, 6 pm.

Delaney’s: Bob Kerwin & Doug White, jazz, free, 6 pm.

Essen Haus: Tom Brusky, free, 8:30 pm.

S A T U R D A Y, J A N U A R Y 3 0 G A L A 8 —1 1 P M | I S T H M U S A F T E R PA RT Y 1 1 P M — 2 A M OV E RT U R EC E N T E R .O R G / F R O S T I B A L L

First Congregational United Church of Christ: Madison Choral Project, “A Procession of Angels,” holiday concert, 7:30 pm. Also: 2:30 pm, 12/20, Lutheran Church of the Living Christ.

Holiday Soup with Tony Tripoli

First Unitarian Society: Noon Musicale, Haydn, Liszt & Ginastera by Olivia Musat, piano, free, 12:15 pm.

Alphabet Soup, hosted by Isthmus Favorite local comedian Dina Nina Martinez, is Wisconsin’s longest-running LGBT standup show. The Holiday Soup edition welcomes guest artist Tony Tripoli, who has opened for Joan Rivers and works as head writer on Fashion Police.

It’s a fundraiser, and bound to be a riot.

First United Methodist Church: Perfect Harmony Men’s Chorus, “Transcending Tradition,” winter songs, 7:30 pm. Also: 3 pm, 12/20.

Fisher King Winery, Mount Horeb: Peter Kish, 6:30 pm.

Fountain: Richard Shaten, piano, free, 7:30 pm.

ISTHMUS.COM DECEMBER 17–23, 2015

Great Dane-Hilldale: DJ Landology, 9 pm.

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High Noon Saloon: Rock Star Gomeroke, 5 pm; Steely Dane, Steely Dan tribute by Madison musicians, 9 pm.

Ivory Room: Eben Seaman, Peter Hernet, Nicky Jordan, dueling pianos, 8 pm.

Knuckle Down Saloon: Christian Collin, blues, 9 pm.

GALA SPONSORS

in partnership with D O W N TO W N MADISON INC.

A F T E R PA R T Y S P O N S O R

Legends Sports Bar: Cool Front with Jon French, 9 pm.

Liliana’s Restaurant, Fitchburg: Hanson Family Jazz Band, free, 6:30 pm.

Liquid (formerly Segredo): DJ Britt, 10 pm.

Louisianne’s, Middleton: Johnny Chimes, 6:30 pm.

Lucky’s Bar, Waunakee: Country Wide Rocks, 8 pm.

Merchant: DJ Bruce Blaq, free, 10:30 pm.

Friday, Dec. 18, Plan B (924 Williamson St.), 7:30 pm

A RT EXH I B I TS & EV EN TS Coming Home: Art show & open house, 2-9 pm on 12/18 and 11 am-6 pm on 12/19, Threshold (reception 5-9 pm, 12/18, with music, refreshments). 220-8849.

S PEC I A L EV EN TS Adult Swim: 6-10 pm, 12/18, Madison Children’s Museum, with “Winterstellar” theme, music by Smashin’ Cantina Band, “Star Wars” themed craft activities & more. $15 ($12.75 adv.; 21+ only). 256-6445.

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Winter Solstice Pageant: Annual benefit for Circle Sanctuary, with music, dance, storytelling & more, 7 pm, 12/18, First Unitarian Society Auditorium. $10 ($7 adv.; $5 ages 5-17; bring nonperishable food donations). 924-2216.

Lakeside Street Coffee: Small Blind Johnny, free, 7 pm.

Winter Solstice Celebration: Annual all-ages event, 6:30-8:30 pm, 12/18, Aldo Leopold Nature Center, Monona, with guided hike, campfire, crafts, wassail & refreshments. $8 ($29/family). RSVP: 221-0404.

Louisianne’s, Middleton: Johnny Chimes, 6:30 pm.

SP ECTATOR SP ORTS

Mezze: Charlie Painter & Friends, jazz, free, 9 pm.

Madison Capitols: USHL vs. Lincoln, 7:05 pm, 12/18, Alliant Center-Coliseum. $20.50-$12.50. 267-3955.

Mr. Robert’s: The Benders, free, 10 pm.

sat dec 19 M USIC

Lazy Oaf Lounge: Denim ‘n Leather, 10 pm.

Liliana’s: John Widdicombe & Tom Waselchuk, 6:30 pm.

Liquid: DJ Nick Magic, EDM, 10 pm.

Madison Children’s Museum: Philharmonic Chorus of Madison, Holiday carols, 11 am.

Merchant: DJ Nick Nice, free, 10:30 pm.

Mickey’s: Tory Crimes, Clash tribute, free, 10 pm.

Natt Spil: DJ Lauren Franchi, free, 10 pm.

Paoli Schoolhouse: Haley Parvin, free, 6 pm.

Rex’s Innkeeper, Waunakee: Universal Sound, 8:30 pm.

Sequoya Library: White Birch Ensemble, Russian music & stories, free, 1:30 pm.

Tricia’s Country Corners: The Retro Specz, 9 pm.

Tuvalu Coffee, Verona: Common Chord, free, 7 pm.

Tyranena Brewing, Lake Mills: Cash Box Kings, 7 pm.

Woof’s: DJ Tim Walters, Santa Saturday, 4 pm.

S PEC I A L EV EN TS

A CHRISTMAS CAROL Madison’s finest holiday tradition!

DECEMBER 12–23 Capitol Theater at Overture Center

TICKETS: ctmtheater.org 608.258.4141

Isthmus Live Sessions Local & National Artists Perform in the Isthmus Office

Wintersong WH ITNEY

WATCH previous Isthmus Live Sessions by Rhett Miller of Old ‘97s, Dessa, and others at: isthmus.com/ils

MANN

GREAT LAKE SWIMMERS

WILLIAM ELLIOTT WHITMORE DESSA

ISTHMUS.COM DECEMBER 17–23, 2015

ISTHMUS LIVE SESSIONS

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Madison Area Community Christmas Festival Saturday, Dec. 19, Middleton Performing Arts Center (2100 Bristol St.), 2 & 7 pm

More than 80 performers come together to create a festive evening of holiday music: the Ringing Badgers Handbell Ensemble, the Maestro Brass and a choir and orchestra performing excerpts from Handel’s “Messiah,” including the “Hallelujah Chorus.” ALSO: Sunday, Dec. 20, 2 pm.

Badger Bowl: Kings of Radio, rock, 9:15 pm.

Bos Meadery: The Getaway Drivers, free, 6 pm.

Brink Lounge: Edi Rey y Su Salsera, DJ Fresh, 8 pm.

Brocach Irish Pub-Square: DJ Dot Sims, free, 11 pm.

Cafe Carpe, Fort Atkinson: Bill Camplin, David Goodrich, Satchel Paige, Savannah Camplin, 8 pm.

Capitol Rotunda: Madison Community Orchestra, annual holiday concert, noon; Sandy La Clair & Impact of Brass, annual family holiday concert with kids invited to play along on rhythm instruments, free, 2:30 pm.

ISTHMUS LIVE SESSIONS

DA N C I N G

’80s vs. ’90s: Christmas Sweater Ball Saturday, Dec. 19, Majestic Theatre, 9:30 pm

As the holiday season approaches and snuffs out the world’s existing bad blood, one battle continues to burn: the ’80s vs. the ’90s. Which is the most danceable decade? Bring your dancing shoes and dress in your best holiday sweater (for free entry) to find out. With DJs Josh B Kuhl and Mike Carlson.

Dairyland Cowboys & Cowgirls: Two-steps/line dancing, 5-10 pm, 12/19, Five Nightclub. 255-9131.

Contra Dance: Music by Paul Kienitz & Roger Diggle, caller Steve Pike, 7-10 pm, 12/19, Warner Park Community Recreation Center. $7. 692-3394.

T H EAT ER & DA N C E

Cardinal Bar: Nabori, DJ Rumba, 9 pm.

City Church: Gospel Carols, holiday concert, 6 pm.

Claddagh, Middleton: Shekinah King, free, 7 pm.

Club Tavern, Middleton: Eddie Butts Band, free, 9 pm.

Come Back In: The Rascal Theory, free, 9 pm.

Crystal Corner Bar: Droids Attack, Wicked Inquisition, Subatomic, annual Destroy All Christmas, 9:30 pm.

Dane County Regional Airport: Prairie Music & Arts, 2 pm; Arboretum Music School, 4 pm.

Essen Haus: Brewhaus Polka Kings, free, 8:30 pm.

Fisher King, Mount Horeb: Kerosene Kites, 6:30 pm.

The Frequency: Sparklefuck, Joey Broyles, Damsel Trash, 10 pm.

Grace Episcopal Church: Madison Brass Quintet, free, noon; Wisconsin Chamber Choir, “Magnificat!” holiday concert, 7:30 pm.

Harmony Bar: Alex Fossi & Root City, 9:45 pm.

Heid Music: Kerosene Kites, free, 1 pm.

High Noon Saloon: The Pine Barrens (CD release), 5:30 pm; Waylan St. Palan & the Magic Elves, The August Teens, Christmas, 9 pm.

ISTHMUS LIVE SESSIONS

ISTHMUS LIVE SESSIONS

An Evening at Maria’s: Pop-up venue, 6 pm, 12/19, 1444 E. Washington Ave. (Art In Gallery space), with music by Heather Sawyer, Bobby Hussy, Em Jay, Aaron Scholz, Moto Day, spoken word by Thax Douglas, visual art by Mariah Robinson, Marissa Kelling, Claire Warhus. $10-$5. facebook.com/ events/146042449086864.

Ivory Room: Trey Grimm, Connor Brennan, Eben Seaman, dueling pianos, 8 pm.

Knuckle Down Saloon: The Jimmys, 8:30 pm.

The Nutcracker (Madison Ballet) Saturday, Dec. 19, Overture Hall, 2 & 7:30 pm

While this ballet’s original production in 1892 was deemed unsuccessful, it certainly doesn’t need an introduction: Tchaikovsky’s The Nutcracker is now considered one of the most popular ballets of all time. The Madison Ballet production is directed by maestro Andrew Sewell and choreographed by W. Earle Smith, and sure to delight anyone feeling festive or in need of a little merriment. ALSO: Sunday, Dec. 20, 2 pm. Through Dec. 27.

sun dec 20

701A E. Washington Ave. 268-1122 www.high-noon.com

THURSDAYS H 8:30PM H FREE

MUS I C Bourbon Street Grille, Monona: Madison Jazz Jam, free (all ages), 4 pm.

Brocach-Square: McFadden’s Fancy, free, 4:30 pm.

The Nutcracker (Dance Wisconsin) Saturday, Dec. 19, Shannon Hall, 2 & 7:30 pm

Dance Wisconsin’s pioneering artistic director Jo Jean Retrum is the founder of the Dance in the Schools program, which provides dance opportunities to disadvantaged students. The company’s Nutcracker features talented locals alongside guest artists Gillian Murphy and James Whiteside from American Ballet Theater. ALSO: Sunday, Dec. 20, 2 pm.

Cracked: The Nutcracker Sweet Saturday, Dec. 19, Overture Center Playhouse, 3 & 6 pm

Move Out Loud’s youth-based company presents yet another twist on the holiday favorite, using modern characters, and mixing it up with contemporary music and dance styles.

B OOKS / S P O K EN WORD Mary Bergin: Signing “Wisconsin Supper Club Cookbook,” her new book, 11 am, 12/19, Barnes & NobleWest Towne. 827-0809.

A RTS N OT I C ES Whad’Ya Know?: Live radio broadcast & holiday party with music by Steve Meisner, 9:30 am, 12/19, Monona Terrace. $10. 262-2201.

FU NDRA I S ER S End of the Semester Solstice Party: Fundraiser, 3-6 pm, 12/19, Rainbow Bookstore, with holiday crafts, silent auction & refreshments. 257-6050.

K IDS & FA MI LY

Crossroads Church: Sandy LaClair & Impact of Brass, annual Christmas concert, free/donations, 7:30 pm.

Dane County Regional Airport: Maekawa Music School, 1 pm; Taylor Piano Studio, 3 pm.

Dorf Haus, Roxbury: The Dang-Its, 4 pm.

BLUES Tate’s JAM FRI, DEC 18 9PM $7 Christian Collin Red Hot Chicago Blues Artist H

H

SAT, DEC 19 H 8:30PM H $8

The Frequency: American Scarecrows, The Mascot Theory (EP release), folk rock, 8 pm.

Grace Episcopal Church: Madison Sacred Harp Singers, Shape-note singing (all invited to sing), 3 pm.

High Noon Saloon: The Begowatts, Homebrew, Known To Wander, 8 pm.

Messiah Lutheran Church: Monona Senior Chorus, free/donations, 2 pm.

Natt Spil: DJ Prince of Ravens, free, 10 pm.

The

Jimmys

ART E XHI BITS & EV ENTS

A Hilldale Holiday Pop-Up

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Jimmy Voegeli’s Birthday Bash New Orleans Powerhouse Funk

NEW YEAR’S EVE H $15

fri dec

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Kevin Revolinski: Signing “Wisconsin’s Best Beer Guide,” his new book, noon, 12/20, Wisconsin Brewing Company, Verona. 848-1079.

Holiday Vegan Bake Sale & Craft Sale: Alliance for Animals benefit, 10 am-1 pm, 12/20, Goodman Community Center. 257-6663.

mon dec 21 MUS I C

Kids in the Rotunda: Music by Fox & Branch, 9:30 & 11 am and 1 pm, 12/19, Overture CenterRotunda Stage. 258-4141.

STEELY DANE 9PM $10

5pm $7

Relationships Showcase 1-4pm $5 18+

THE PINE BARRENS (CD Release) 5:30pm $5

WAYLAN ST. PALAN & THE MAGIC ELVES The August Teens 9pm $10

The Begowatts Homebrew Known To Wander 20 sun dec

8pm $5

mon dec

21

WEDNESDAYS H 8:30pm H FREE

Open Rock Jam w/ Devil’s Share & Big Third Down 2513 Seiferth Rd., Madison

222-7800

KnuckleDownSaloon.com

FOOD & D RINK

Rock Star Gomeroke

Funky Mondays Happy Holiday Happy Hour

Full Buffet • Champagne Toast • Hats, Horns, FUN!

Skip the big-box stores this year and head to Hilldale, where you’ll find an abundance of locally made arts and crafts, just in time to merrily sneak them under the tree.

HAPPYOKE

sat in Film dec Local Filmmaker's

An 8 Piece Funk/Soul/Motown Dance Floor Packin’ Powerhouse!!

Sunday, Dec. 20, Hilldale’s South Atrium, 11 am-6 pm

Wyrding / Ossuary Terran Wretch Tubal Cain / Conjuror 8pm $10 18+

19

MAD CITY FUNK

Olbrich Gardens: Madison Brass, 2 pm.

thu dec

tue dec

22 wed dec

23

CLYDE STUBBLEFIELD ALL-STAR BAND 6pm $7

KEROSENE ROCKSTAR GOMEROKE KITES Ida Jo / 6pm

$7

live band karaoke 9pm FREE

Eric Tessmer Band Christopher Plowman 8pm $8

Turn Your Passion into Your Career

Holiday Open House: Kids’ crafts & refreshments, 10 am-4 pm, 12/19, DreamBank. Free. 286-3150.

Winter Solstice Celebration: Traditional activities for all ages, 10 am-4 pm, 12/19, Madison Children’s Museum. Free with $8 admission. 256-6445.

Kid Disco: With DJ Nick Nice, 11 am, 12/19, Great Dane-Hilldale. $5 ($15/family). 661-9400.

LEC T U R ES & S EM I N ARS African American Genealogy: Telling Your Story: Wisconsin Historical Society workshop, 8:30 am4:30 pm, 12/19, UW Memorial Library-Room 126. $30. RSVP: wisconsinhistory.org. 264-6400.

E NVIRO N M EN T

UW Arboretum Ecological Restoration Work Party: 9 am-noon, 12/19, meet at Grady Tract parking lot.

265-5214.

FA R MER S’ MA R K ETS Dane County Farmers’ Market: Indoor market, 7:30 am-noon, 12/19, Monona Terrace, with entertainment by Onadare & Oak Apple Morris Dancers.

Moves to Madison Senior Center on 1/9. 455-1999.

Monday, Dec. 21, High Noon Saloon, 6 pm

The original Funky Drummer and his AllStars stir up some action at the monthly event (recently brought out of retirement), where Madisonians get to groove to one of the nation’s most celebrated beat-makers.

Dane County Airport: Belleville Jazz Band/Vocal Jazz Ensemble, 10 am; Amber Nicole Dilger, 1 pm; Derek Sallmann, 2:30 pm; Epic Brass Quintet, 6 pm; Charlie Yeager, 7 pm.

The Frequency: Fishwife, Cats on Leashes, The Square Bombs, Pavarazzi, 9 pm.

If you’re searching for a media school where you can receive hands on career training, look no further. We’ve got the equipment, facilities and industry professionals you need at the Media Institute.

Offering Associates degrees in: Graphic Design

Graphic Design Web Design n Music Production n Audio Recording

Game Design Animation n Video Production

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Call for more information or to apply today!

855.647.9671 Or visit us online at mediainstitute.edu

Up North Pub: Gin Mill Hollow, Americana, free, 8 pm.

➡

For more information about graduation rates, the median debt of students who have completed the program, and other important information, please visit mediainstitute.edu

DECEMBER 17–23, 2015 ISTHMUS.COM

Ice Age Trail Alliance-Dane County Chapter Work Day: Fence row clearing, 9 am-noon, 12/19, Liebetrau Prairie, Cross Plains. nattrails@aol.com. 249-2421.

Funky Mondays with Clyde Stubblefield

45

n ISTHMUS PICKS : DEC 21 – 23 BOOKS Alan Guebert & Mary Grace Foxwell: Discussing “The Land of Milk and Uncle Honey: Memories From the Farm of my Youth,” 7 pm, 12/21, Mystery to Me. 283-9332.

DANCING English Country Dancing: Dances taught, 7:30 pm, 12/21, Wil-Mar Center; potluck 6 pm. 231-1040.

ENV IRONM ENT UW Arboretum Walk: “Solstice” topic, 4 pm, 12/21, UW Arboretum Visitor Center. 263-7888.

tue dec 22 M USIC

High Noon: Rock Star Gomeroke, free, 9 pm Tuesdays.

Ivory Room: Josh Dupont, piano, free, 9 pm Tuesdays.

Liliana’s Restaurant, Fitchburg: John Vitale, Marilyn Fisher & Ken Kuehl, jazz, free, 5:30 pm Tuesdays.

Louisianne’s: Johnny Chimes, free, 6 pm Tuesdays.

Mason Lounge: Five Points Jazz Collective, free, 9 pm.

Up North Pub: The Lower 5th, free, 8 pm.

S PEC I A L EV EN TS Starkweather Winter Solstice Celebration: Singing, drumming, refreshments & bonfire, 4:30 pm, 12/22, Olbrich Park. 251-1893.

K I D S & FA MI LY Fun with Ice Cube Telescope: Drop-in, all ages, 12:30-3 pm, 12/22, Madison Children’s Museum.

Free with $8 admission. 256-6445.

Cookie Extravaganza: Free drop-in workshop, 1-4 pm, 12/22, DreamBank. 286-3150.

wed dec 23 MUS I C

Kerosene Kites Tuesday, Dec. 22, High Noon Saloon, 6 pm

Local powerhouse Americana duo featuring Erik Kjelland and Beth Kille finishes off a holiday tour with a backing band that reads like a musical Madison who’s-who: Aaron Williams on guitar, Shawndell Marks on keys, Art Ranney on bass, Jim Smith on drums and Ida Jo on violin. With Ida Jo.

Lynnea Godfriaux & Brad Pregeant Wednesday, Dec. 23, Louisianne’s, Etc., 6 pm

Vocalist/flutist Godfriaux and pianist Pregeant return from Colorado to their former Wisconsin stomping grounds just once a year for a special holiday show in Middleton. The duo will be joined once again by bassist Dan Shapera and drummer Todd Steward for a set of New Orleans-style jazz and R&B.

Em Jay + Spencer Bible Tuesday, Dec. 22, Mickey’s Tavern, 10 pm

ISTHMUS.COM DECEMBER 17–23, 2015

SPONSORED BY

46

1855 Saloon & Grill, Cottage Grove: Ken Wheaton, fingerstyle guitar, free, 6 pm Wednesdays.

Brocach Irish Pub-Square: Irish Open Jam, free, 8 pm Wednesdays.

East-side institution Mickey’s has hosted acoustic music in various forms on Tuesdays for many years. The current incarnation features local rockers performing rare solo sets, and is hosted by Em Jay, singer/ guitarist for longtime Madison/Milwaukee band the Midwest Beat (and who can occasionally also be spotted hosting Mickey’s open mic or busking on State Street).

Em Jay’s special guest for the December edition is Spencer Bible, vocalist/guitarist of Madison punk duo Christian Dior.

Cardinal Bar: DJs Wyatt Agard, Dub Borsk, 9 pm.

Alchemy Cafe: Ted Keys Trio, free, 10 pm Tuesdays.

DA N C I N G

Cardinal Bar: New Breed Jazz Jam, free, 9 pm.

Come Back In: WheelHouse, free, 5 pm Tuesdays.

Dane County Regional Airport: Sultan of Squeeze, 2 pm; Charlie Yeager, 6 pm.

Essen Haus: Brian Erickson, free, 6:30 pm Tuesdays.

Free House Pub, Middleton: The Westerlies, 7:30 pm.

Claddagh, Middleton: Michael Alexander, free, 6 pm.

Dane County Airport: Amber Nicole Dilger, free, 1 pm.

Heritage Tavern: Mal-O-Dua, free, 8:30 pm.

High Noon Saloon: Eric Tessmer Band, Christopher Plowman, 8 pm.

Ivory Room: Jim Ripp, piano, free, 9 pm.

Liliana’s: Cliff Frederiksen & Ken Kuehl,, free, 5:30 pm.

Opus Lounge: Teddy Davenport, free, 9 pm.

Up North Pub: MoonHouse, free, 8 pm.

VFW-Cottage Grove Road: Jerry Stueber, free, 6 pm.

Madison West Coast Swing Club: Open dance, 8-9:30 pm Wednesdays, Badger Bowl. $5 (intermediate lesson 7:30 pm). 213-1108.

S PEC TATO R S PO RTS UW Men’s Basketball: vs. UW-Green Bay, 8 pm, 12/23, Kohl Center. $41-$26. 262-1440.

SEARCH THE FULL CALENDAR OF EVENTS AT ISTHMUS.COM

H O L I D A Y ><>< S A L E! <><><>< 40% Off Storewide!

THURS, DEC. 17 thru SUN, JAN. 3

Down Comforters • Pillows • Linens • Quilts 75% Off Select Clearance Merchandise

7404 Mineral Point Rd. | Madison | 833-8333 • Mon.-Fri. 10-7, Sat. 10-6, Sun. 11-5 We will be closing at 3 PM on Xmas Eve and closed on Xmas | No adjustments on prior sales.

418 E. WILSON ST. 608.257.BIRD CARDINALBAR.COM FRIDAY 12/18 LIVE HAPPY HOUR QUARTET

TONY _ _ _BARBA ____________

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All co mfo and pil rters made lows in La Cro our sse factor , WI y!

Why did Santa cross the road?

To shop at CLUCK, of course.

____________________

SATURDAY 12/19

w/ DJ RUMBA ____________________

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TUESDAY 12/22

JAZZ JAM

w/ THE NEW BREED 9PM • FREE

M ADISON’S CL A SSIC DA NC E B A R

You gotta live it every day

NOW ON SALE!

6904 Paoli Road / 608-848-1200 www.cluckthechickenstore.com Four miles south of Verona

May 10 – June 5 608-258-4141 | Groups (10+): 608-258-4159

Isthmus.com

TICKETS MAKE A GREAT HOLIDAY GIFT!

DECEMBER 17–23, 2015 ISTHMUS.COM

OVERTURECENTER.ORG

©Disney

with

DJs LOVECRAFT & T RUX, featuring performances by LILLY VIOLET, JEMMA & MAMA CHI CHI 9PM

Imaginative art from regional artists, unique home décor and elegant animalthemed gifts not available at the North Pole (or the mall). Soy-free & GMO-free feed & scratch grain too.

47

n EMPHASIS

Feel-good commerce Drunk Lunch combines gifts, home goods and an open workspace

BY TAMIRA MADSEN

No, it’s not a diner with alcohol. But the owners of Drunk Lunch are aiming for that ramble-up-to-the-bar feel at this new lifestyle goods/gift shop and cooperative workspace that opened Nov. 13 on East Johnson Street.

Co-owner Alyssa Williams Taylor says that she and business partner Lindsey Slack came to understand their friendship “over funny, drunk lunches” they had years ago.

“The name seemed like a lovely transition into this business element of our relationship, a far more refined version.” Their husbands, Justin Taylor and Steve Slack, are also partners in the business.

The store is a showcase for carefully curated items; it looks more like a museum than a store. “Our intention isn’t to ever fill the space,” says Taylor. “It’s a concept shop. It’ll always feel clean and composed, a gallery for our products, as each line is hand-designed.”

The hand-picked selection of jewelry, home goods, beauty products, handmade items, stationery and books is exclusive to Madison, and in most cases, the items can’t be found anywhere else in Wisconsin.

The spotlight is on items not carried elsewhere in the area.

One offering new to the state is Seattlebased jewelry line Baleen, co-founded by Madison native Billy Bartels. Baleen bracelets, rings, earrings and necklaces range from $26 to $56.

Other products include Short Stack Editions cookbooks ($14) and city/travel books from Wildsam Field Guides ($18). The most expensive item at Drunk Lunch is a set of Japanese Imabari towels ($110).

Hungry shoppers will enjoy chocolate from Mast Brothers (of Brooklyn, N.Y.) and Woodblock (of Portland, Ore.) The collaborative workspace, towards the back of the store, will cater to photographers, graphic designers, bloggers and other creative types. The area will have a photo studio, photography equipment and, eventually, professional-grade printing equipment. The photo studio is expected to be operational by Jan. 1, with printing facilities ready by spring.

“We hope to grow it into a space where you can grab a coffee at Johnson Public House, use our photo or printing equipment, or put on your headphones and chill,” Taylor says.

Equipment costs and drop-in fees to work at Drunk Lunch are still being decided. The owners also anticipate hosting vendor truck shows, artist receptions, author readings and a community book club.

Down the road, Taylor says the Drunk Lunch concept likely will expand with a lifestyle brand of products that will be sold on an ecommerce site. One product, already available in-store, is a tote bag emblazoned with the Drunk Lunch logo.

The store is one of a handful of new businesses that have recently opened, or will soon open, in a two-block section of Johnson Street that includes Salvatore’s Tomato Pies, The Spot, Burnie’s Rock Shop, Fontaine, Yoga Co-op of Madison, the Good Style Shop and UpShift.

Taylor, a 10-year Tenney-Lapham resident, says that the neighborhood “has always felt a little grittier and a little more cosmopolitan compared to other downtown neighborhoods.”

These days, she describes it as a place for “people who want beautiful, quality things, but also would like a Pabst Tall Boy at the same time.” n

ISTHMUS.COM DECEMBER 17–23, 2015

ReMitt yourself

48

DRUNK LUNCH n 807 E. Johnson St. n 608-630-8401 n shopdrunklunch.com Noon-8 pm Tues.-Sat., noon-6 pm Sun.

Warm and cool: Hello, ReMitts!

Profits from upcycled crafts help the hungry Any true Wisconsinite can vouch for the verity of this fact: Mittens are warmer than gloves.

And these particular mittens are also cooler than gloves.

The ReMitt Project features one-of-akind recycled mittens crafted by volunteers from colorful used wool sweaters. ReMitt sales benefit the north side’s River Food

Clockwise from top: Eco-friendly mugs from Haand of North Carolina, chocolates from Mast Brothers and Woodblock, and bracelets from Baleen.

Pantry and are for sale at its headquarters (2201 Darwin Rd.) as well as at UPS Stores (1213 N. Sherman Ave. and 4230 East Towne Blvd.), DuWayne’s Salon (1214 N. Sherman Ave.), Manna Cafe (611 N. Sherman Ave.) and Coffee Gallerie (1865 Northport Drive). Mittens are $30 and come in men’s and women’s sizes. If you want to be a Badger, UW-Madison mittens are $40.

— LINDA FALKENSTEIN

n CLASSIFIEDS

Housing

Jobs

University Heights home for Sale. Lovingly restored 4 bedroom. Walk to UW, Monroe St. Call Lori at 608-381-4804.

HouseReward.com MLS 1762857

***$50 Hiring Bonus after 30 days!!!*** CLEANING-OFFICES *Full-time Floaters, nights [5pm-1:30am], transportation required, $10.00-12.00/hr+benefits *Lead Cleaner near CAPITOL[6pm-8:30pm], M-F, $9.25/hr *General Cleaners in set locations throughout Madison, start around 5-6pm, 3-4 hrs/night, $8.75-9.25/hr. Apply online at www.ecwisconsin.com/employment or call 1-800-211-6922

MADISON - 806 Kottke Dr, Unit 1. Corner unit 2 BR, 2 BA with updated kitchen, cherry cabinets, SS appliances.

Fireplace, newer windows, washer/dryer. Large deck, 2 inside parking + storage + fitness center, pool, basketball & volleyball courts. Lower condo fees. MLS# 1762558 $134,900 Kathy Tanis (608) 469-5954 Bunbury & Associates Realtors

Buy-Sell-Exchange Matching people and property for over 20 years. Achieve your goals! Free consult. www.andystebnitz.com.

Andy Stebnitz 608-692-8866 Restaino & Associates Realtors BADGER CHIMNEY LLC Fireplace & Chimney Sweeping and Repair Call (608) CHI-MNEY (244-6639) UW • EDGEWOOD • ST MARY’S Quiet and smoke-free 1 & 2 bedroom apartments starting at $775. Newer kitchens with dishwashers & microwaves. FREE HEAT, WATER, STORAGE. No pets. On-site office with package service. All calls answered 24/7.

Intercom entry. Indoor bicycle parking. Close to bus, grocery, restaurants, and bike trail.

Shenandoah Apartments 1331 South Street 608-256-4747 ShenandoahApartments@gmail.com SHORT-TERM RENTALS Luxury furnished apt with resort hotel services, everything incl in rent. “All you need is your toothbrush.” 1, 2, 3 bdrms from $375+/wk or $1495+/mo. Countryside Apartments. 608-271-0101, open daily! www.countrysidemadison.com ALL AREAS ROOMMATES.COM. Lonely?

Bored? Broke? Find the perfect roommate to complement your personality and lifestyle at Roommates.com! (AAN CAN) All real estate advertised is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act, which makes it illegal to advertise any preference, limitation, or discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status, national origin, or status as a victim of domestic abuse, sexual assault or stalking; or intention to make any such preference, limitation or discrimination. Isthmus will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate which is in violation of the law. All persons are hereby informed that all dwellings advertised are on an equal opportunity basis.

Madison’s Twitter source for news, music, theater, movies, events, dining, drinking, recreation, sports, and more...

Call 608-301-0309 (leave message) about a job that provides good pay, great hours, and high satisfaction. I’m an easy going disabled man living near MATC East seeking a personal care assistant eight overnights per month at $1000/month. No experience needed. Don’t pass this one by!

Man with disability needs high level of care with health issues. Multiple shifts available.

Contact Tina at 608-630-4369 for more information.

Younger Middleton area lady is looking for help with cleaning and errands. Twelve hours/week at $11.47/hr. Call (608) 7725960.

Man with physical disability on the south side of Madison needs personal care assistance every other Fri & Sat nights 10 PM–6 AM. Pay rate is $50.65/nt. Also looking for caregiver to go out in community up to 10 hrs/wk. Pay rate is $11.47/hr. Must pass criminal background check. Call (608) 663-5839 to apply.

Your help is needed to deliver noontime meals in Madison and Monona.

Clean driving and criminal record required. Please call 608-276-7598

WHAT’S YOUR MESSAGE? Call 608-251-5627 to place an ad. isthmus.com/classifieds

AZIENDA AGRICOLA PRAVIS

NEW YEAR'S EVE PARTY WITH A-OK, BAROLO AND JULEP!

Thursday, December 31 at 8pm ROBINIA COURTYARD

THE IVORY ROOM PIANO BAR’S

MIDNIGHT MASQUERADE Thursday, December 31 at 8pm IVORY ROOM PIANO BAR

Are you in BIG trouble with the IRS? Stop wage & bank levies, liens & audits, unfiled tax returns, payroll issues, & resolve tax debt FAST. Call 844-753-1317 (AAN CAN) Float Teacher Red Caboose is looking for a teacher to work with children from 10 months to 6+ years. This person must meet the minimum licensing requirements for a preschool teacher, but person with degrees in related fields are preferred. This position pays 11.57/ hr increasing to 11.77 after probation. If interested please contact Barb at 608-256-1566 or at ppd@redcaboosedaycare.org for an application. Red Caboose is an Equal Opportunity/Affirmative Action Employer.

SPONSORED BY:

DEATH'S DOOR AND KIN-KIN COFFEE PRESENT:

MAD ROLLIN’ DOLLS SEASON 12 GAME 2:

“NEW YEARS BRUISE-O-LUTIONS” Saturday, January 23 at 3:30pm ALLIANT ENERGY CENTER EXHIBITION HALL

CLEAN LAKES ALLIANCE

FROZEN ASSETS

FUNDRAISER Saturday, February 6 at 8pm THE EDGEWATER

A CELEBRATION OF

AMERICAN DISTILLING Saturday, February 20 at 5pm THE EDGEWATER

DO YOUR TICKETING WITH ISTHMUS AND LIST YOUR EVENT HERE. INTERESTED? EMAIL CWINTERHACK@ISTHMUS.COM

ISTHMUSTICKETS.COM

DECEMBER 17–23, 2015 ISTHMUS.COM

@Isthmus

RETAIL SALES Studio Jewelers is adding a full time staff position in January and is now interviewing qualified candidates. If you are a people person, are passionate about jewelry, and have retail experience, stop in and fill out an application. Jewelry sales experience a plus but we will train the right person. Call Hanna or Victoria at 257-2627 for further info.

GET TICKETS FOR THESE EVENTS!

49

JONESIN’

n CLASSIFIEDS

“We’ve Got U Surrounding” – vowel play from both sides.

ACROSS

1 How-___ (instructional books) 4 Kind of bar lic.

7 “Today” rival, initially 10 Chiding sound 13 “Not my call” 15 FF’s opposite, on a VCR 16 “That’s ___ quit!”

17 Malaria medicine 18 Canniest, for instance 20 Group that keeps count from AK to WY 22 “A garter snake!”

23 DDE’s command in WWII 24 Denounces strongly 26 Armenia and Georgia, once 29 James Bond’s first foe 31 Former Texas governor Perry

P.S. MUELLER

32 “Don’t reckon so” 34 Singer-songwriter Redding 36 Reticent 37 WWII naval cruiser named for a Hawaiian city 40 Night wear, for short 42 ___ Kong International Airport 43 Congressional assent 44 Feels sorrow over 46 They’re known for 10s and 20s, but not 30s 48 Slipper tips 51 “Snowy” heron 53 Sombrero, for one 54 Audio collectibles 56 1929 Luis Bunuel/Salvador Dali surrealist short film 61 One side of a drill bit, e.g.

62 What student loans cover for

63 Namath, in 1977 64 “May ___ now?”

65 Palindromic 1992 album from Bela Fleck and the Flecktones 66 Bauxite, e.g.

67 Maze runner 68 Gees’ predecessors 69 1/6 of a fl. oz.

9 One of four in an EGOT 10 Dessert made with espresso 11 Steadfast 12 Actress Cattrall 14 1300, to civilians 19 Equipment 21 Dictator 25 Astronomer’s view 27 OR personnel 28 Pageant adornment 30 Like a mechanic’s rag 33 Yell that puts the brakes on 35 Wintertime bird treat 37 Password accompanier 38 Not one minute later 39 Chinese philosopher ___-tzu 40 Tense beginning?

41 As they say, go for it!

45 Denominational offshoot 47 Town square centerpiece, maybe 49 “Billy ___” (2000 movie) 50 Lampoons 52 His and her 55 Break of day 57 “Young Frankenstein” heroine 58 “Sho ___!”

59 “Vaya con ___” 60 Bar assoc. member 61 To and ___

DOWN

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Canadian wool cap Catalogued musical works Stones’ companions “___ Eyes” (1975 Eagles hit) Air purifier emissions Waiting for the London Underground, perhaps Take hold of Restaurant request

LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS

Jobs

Services & Sales

CONT. Volunteer with UNITED WAY Volunteer Center Call 246-4380 or visit volunteeryourtime.org to learn about opportunities

Love coffee and good food? Agrace HospiceCare’s Doc Rock Café is looking for enthusiastic volunteers to make coffee drinks, take food orders, use a computerized cash register, and provide excellent customer service. Training is provided. This is an excellent opportunity for volunteers of all ages, but has been especially popular with some of the high school volunteers (plus great job experience!)

Domestic Abuse Intervention Services (DAIS) is seeking Security Operations Advocates who will provide direct assistance to shelter clients and families. Volunteers must adhere to confidentiality, shelter and DAIS policies and procedures, as well as the agency’s Code of Ethics. Shelter Advocates must maintain professional boundaries with shelter residents.

United Way 2-1-1 is seeking new volunteers to staff our telephone lines, answering questions about resources available in the service area. Training is provided. If you are looking for an opportunity to learn more about community resources and would like to assist people in finding ways to get and give help, United Way 2-1-1 may be the place for you!

WIN

FREE STUFF FROM

#758 By Matt Jones ©2015 Jonesin’ Crosswords

ISTHMUS BEER & CHEESE FEST JAN 16

ALLIANT ENERGY CENTER

PETE SEEGER: THE STORM KING

ISTHMUS.COM DECEMBER 17–23, 2015

JAN 23

50

CAPITOL THEATER

VOCALOSITY JAN 28-29

CAPITOL THEATER

ISTHMUS.COM/PROMOTIONS

PREGNANT? THINKING OF ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families Nationwide.

LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions. 866-413-6293. Void in Illinois/New Mexico/Indiana (AAN CAN) DISH TV Starting at $19.99/month (for 12 mos.) SAVE! Regular Price $34.99 Ask About FREE SAME DAY Installation! CALL Now! 888-992-1957 (AAN CAN) CHECK OUT THE FOUNDRY FOR MUSIC LESSONS & REHEARSAL STUDIOS & THE NEW BLAST HOUSE STUDIO FOR RECORDING! 608-270-2660, madisonmusicfoundry.com CASH FOR CARS: We Buy Any Condition Vehicle, 2002 and Newer. Nationwide Free Pick Up! Call Now: 1-888-420-3808 www. cash4car.com (AAN CAN)

Happenings AIRLINE CAREERS begin here – Get started by training as FAA certified Aviation Technician. Financial aid for qualified students. Job placement assistance. Call Aviation Institute of Maintenance 800-725-1563 (AAN CAN)

Health & Wellness Larry P. Edwards RPh, LBT Nationally & State Certified #4745-046 Massage Therapist and Body Worker / Madison, WI Swedish Massage For Men, providing immediate Stress, Tension and Pain Relief. Seven days a week by appt.—same day appointments available.

Contact Steve, CMT at: ph/ text 608.277.9789 or acupleasur@aol.com.

Gift certificates available for any reason or season @ ABC Massage Studio!

Miss Danu’s WORLD CLASS MASSAGE * FEEL GREAT IN ONE HOUR! * Short Notice * Nice Price * 8AM-7PM * 608-255-0345 MASSAGE, Gift Certificates, $40/Hour Special Ken-Adi Ring, LMT. CH. CI Celebrates 40 years experience.

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n SAVAGE LOVE

Your cheatin’ heart

BY DAN SAVAGE

I’m a single straight guy, and this is probably going to sound really stupid, but...I basically stumbled over the cuckold fetish and I can’t get it out of my mind. I’ve tried to stay away from it because I’m pretty sure you aren’t supposed to feel like garbage after enjoying porn. But I can’t get it out of my head. It’s worrying, since I fear that one day it might end up spoiling things when I fall in love with someone since I’m a bit of a jealous person. The idea of a cheating woman is really hot in spite of all of that. But there’s this lingering feeling of disgust surrounding the whole thing.

Is it possible to have a fetish you hate?

Baffled About Romantic Future Don’t you just hate it when someone leaves a fetish sitting on the steps and then you come along and stumble over it and — bam!

— you fall and hit your head and when you come to you’ve got a brand-new fetish?

Yeah, no. We don’t know exactly where people’s fetishes and kinks come from — how or why someone’s erotic imagination snaps on an inanimate object (high heels, leather gear, rubber masks) or a particular sexual scenario (cuckolding, role-play, out-

door sex) — but we can safely say that people don’t stumble into their fetishes or kinks.

Forgive me for being a pedantic asshole, BARF — I’m sure you didn’t mean you literally stumbled over a cuckold. But misinformed, sexnegative, kink-negative pornophobes routinely talk about fetishes and kinks — and fetish/kink porn — like a moment’s exposure can transform an innocent person with purely vanilla tastes into a horned-up, slobbering, gimp-outfit-wearing kink monster. And that’s not the way it happens.

So what did happen to you, BARF? You found some cuckold porn online, and your dick said: “DUDE. THIS IS IT. THIS IS WHAT WE’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR. RUN WITH THIS.” Your particular kink was already in there somewhere, already rattling around in your erotic subconscious, but you couldn’t articulate it — it didn’t take shape — until you finally “stumbled over” the images and narratives you were looking for all along. And your kink, like the kinks of so many other people, seems to be grounded in insecurity and fear — you’re the jealous type, you fear being cheated on, and your erotic imagination/reptile brain took your fears and spun them into a kink. Congrats.

On to your question: Yes, you can have a fetish you hate, i.e., you can have a kink you don’t want to act on because the fantasy can’t be realized for moral or ethical reasons (it involves children, nonconsensual acts, Donald Trump) or because

CRAIG WINZER

you’re fairly certain doing so would suck for emotional or physical reasons (potentially traumatizing, physically dangerous, Donald Trump).

But if your only issue with your kink are those lingering feelings of disgust, BARF, those feelings may diminish the more time you spend thinking/jacking about your newly revealed kink. Time will determine if your feelings of disgust are merely your run-of-the-mill, beneficialto-overcome kink negativity or if they’re a sign cuckolding should remain a go-to masturbatory fantasy for you, BARF, without ever becoming a cheating-woman reality.

I’ve been dating a girl for a while, and I take our relationship seriously. Sometimes sex is a little difficult because of her pubic hair.

She shaves it close to the labia, which is right where my cock is going in and out, and it’s very prickly. I don’t mean lightly prickly — it’s like a bunch of wooden chopsticks have been filed down and shaped into a cylinder, and I’ve been asked to let them clench my dick. I brought it up once and tried to gently suggest a waxing

or letting the hair grow back. She didn’t want to talk about it. I get it: Nobody likes having their genital area critiqued. But the problem keeps recurring. I understand that I don’t really have the right to dictate her grooming habits. And if waxing is out of the question for her — maybe there are philosophical implications I’m not up to speed on — how can I suggest that maybe there are other solutions?

Seeks Counsel Regarding Agonizing Penile Exfoliation The only solution is your girlfriend letting her pubic hair grow back permanently, SCRAPE, since waxed labia will eventually become stubble-covered labia. Here’s how you suggest letting those pubes grow back: Start by letting your girlfriend know you’re aware that women have had to endure millennia of misogynistic/religious garbage about their genitals — but you shouldn’t have to silently endure painful sex because that garbage has made discussing her choices around genital grooming unnecessarily fraught. This isn’t about appearance or preferences or clashing philosophies about pubic grooming. You’re in pain. Address the matter directly.

Email Dan at mail@savagelove.net or reach him on Twitter at @fakedansavage.

DECEMBER 17–23, 2015 ISTHMUS.COM

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