SIR Magazine Issue 5 Spring 2014 by Sir Magazine

SPRING 2014 // ISSUE 5

SIR MAGAZINE // SPRING 2014 // ISSUE 5

IT’S BURGER GRILLING SEASON Winter is over, which means it’s finally time to start grilling again.

GO FORTH AND TRAVEL

LOVE ME TINDERLY

These students have traveled the world, and they’ll tell you how you can too. Comedian Dan Cole tells you why Tinder is the greatest dating app yet.

SHAVE LIKE A GENTLEMAN Ditch the cheap razors and shave the way your grandfather did, it’s a hell of a lot better.

MELVIN EJIM

ANATOMY OF A DOPP KIT

WHEELCHAIR WASTED

TWO-WHEELED FREEDOM

MARRIAGE IN COLLEGE

Teaching you all the manly things you need to know about man things. These students love to ride their motorcycles, and for good reason.

The life story behind the Big 12 Player of the Year. What happens when you go to the bars in a wheelchair? Why some students tie the knot before they even earn their cap and gown.

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4 “What the f*** are you going to do with your life?” One of my friends asked me that not too long ago. We had both been drinking a generous amount of beer and were discussing how we imagine our ideal lives after graduation. I told him I want to be a journalist because I want to become filthy stinking rich. We both had a good laugh, took a sip of our drinks and then fell into silent contemplation. I knew I didn’t care that much about the money… as a journalist I probably won’t ever make much. But what was it about then? What the f*** am I going to do with my life? I’m about to leave college and start anew out there in the big scary real world where mom doesn’t pay for everything anymore. Out there where people my age start finding gray hairs on their head and are told by men in white lab coats to watch their cholesterol. Out there where people are getting married and having kids and trying to live a decent life without boring themselves to death… Wake up, go sit in a five by five prison cell — ahem, cubicle — for a few hours, go home and watch some good ol’ fashioned trashy American television, fall asleep, repeat.It’s all pretty scary stuff, if you’re a cynical bastard. I don’t think life has to be that way. Life can be a magnificent journey of exciting adventures, new experiences, wonderful people, dream jobs and dream houses and dream spouses. Life doesn’t have to be repetitive and boring. You just need the balls to ditch the rules and go do scary and new things, things that you’ll never get to do again when you’re 50 years old, happily married and with kids. So I guess to answer my friend’s question, in the sappiest way possible, I hope to experience life at its absolute grandest. And I hope you all do the same. I hope you all live rich, fulfilling lives dedicated to the happiness of others, but I hope you never forget about your own happiness. I hope you all do new and exciting things, go on adventures, see the world, meet new friends and have new lovers. That’s really what life is, anyway. A bunch of new experiences all rolled into one big one. It’s totally up to you what those experiences are. I say make every one of them unforgettable. Cheers, Michael Finn + Myra Krieger-Coen EDITORS IN CHIEF

ART Anna Ellenberger // Morgan Avery // Alex Huston Lu Lawrence // Barbra Blecker // Blake Lanser

PHOTOGRAPHY Richard Martinez

SOCIAL MEDIA Bailey McGrath

WRITERS Dean Berhow-Goll // Cole Komma // Lauren Grant Dan Cole // CJ Eilers Beau Berkley // Jared McKenna

THANKS Special thanks to our faculty advisor Tracy Lucht, the Greelee School, the Government of the Student Body, and you.

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EDITORS-IN CHIEF // Michael Finn and Myra Krieger-Coen CREATIVE DIRECTOR // Madison Jerde PHOTOGRAPHY DIRECTOR // Blake Lanser

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7 TURKEY DAY BURGER YOU KNOW THAT FOOD COMA THAT SETS IN AFTER EATING A FOUR-COURSE THANKSGIVING DINNER? IT’S ACTUALLY A RECOGNIZED MEDICAL CONDITION CALLED POST-PRANDIAL SOMNOLENCE. THIS BURGER WILL DO JUST THAT, WITHOUT ALL THE STRENUOUS PREP WORK INVOLVED. YOU’LL BE SPLAYED OUT ON THE COUCH WATCHING FOOTBALL AND MOANING NO TIME!

In a medium bowl, combine ground turkey, egg, sage, salt and pepper. Mix until well combined. FORM into four patties, cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate. In a small bowl STIR together mayo and cranberries, set aside. CUT 8 slices of good sourdough bread and lightly toast each slice. HEAT grill to medium and grill patties 3-4 minutes per side. TO ASSEMBLE, spread cranberry mayo one side of each slice of bread. Place burger on one slice of bread, top with a handful of arugula and finish with second piece of sourdough mayo side down. SERVE with sweet potato fries if you’re feeling extra ballsy.

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INGREDIENTS: 1 pound ground turkey 1 egg 1 tablespoon garlic powder 2 tablespoons sage, finely chopped ½ teaspoon salt ¼ teaspoon 1 cup whole cranberry sauce, canned 1 cup mayo Sourdough bread Arugula

8 THE DOWN SOUTH WAFFLE HOUSE BURGER

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IT LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING YOU’D MAKE AT PERKINS BLACKOUT DRUNK AT TWO IN THE MORNING. IT TASTES LIKE… SOMETHING YOU’D MAKE AT PERKINS BLACKOUT DRUNK AT TWO IN THE MORNING: ORGASMIC. INGREDIENTS: ½ pound Italian sausage ½ pound ground beef ¾ cup walnuts, finely chopped 7 eggs black pepper 14 slices thick cut bacon 1 stick butter, room temperature ½ cup maple syrup boxed pancake or waffle batter mix In a medium bowl, combine ground sausage, beef, ¼ cup chopped walnuts, 1 egg, and pepper. MIX until thoroughly combined. Form meat into four patties. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes. COMBINE butter and maple syrup in a small bowl, beat with a hand-held mixer until combined and slightly whipped. Set aside. In a large skillet, cook bacon until crispy. Remove bacon from skillet and drain on paper towels. SAVE bacon fat in skillet for later. PREPARE pancake or waffle batter for 8 as directed on box, stir in remaining ½ cup chopped walnuts. Pour batter onto heated waffle iron and cook until waffles are easily pulled from iron and crispy on the outside. Set waffles aside. HEAT a grill to medium heat and cook burgers 4-6 minutes per side or to desired doneness. While burgers are cooking, heat bacon fat in skillet over medium heat. Once heated, crack eggs into pan and fry over-easy. TO ASSEMBLE the burger, spread maple butter on one side of two waffles. Place grilled sausage burger on top of one buttered waffle, followed by an egg and two pieces of bacon. Top it off with the second waffle, butter side down.

9 BUFFALO CHICKEN BURGER WE HAVE NO IDEA WHERE BUFFALO SAUCE COMES FROM OR HOW IT’S MADE. IT’S ONE OF THE GREAT MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE. ALL WE KNOW IS, IT TASTES FREAKING DELICIOUS ON CHICKEN. ESPECIALLY ON THIS CHICKEN BURGER.

COMBINE ground chicken, egg, onion and ½ packet of dry ranch seasoning in a medium bowl. MIX until all ingredients are combined. Form into four patties, cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate. In a large bowl, COMBINE buffalo sauce, mayo, vinegar, shredded carrots and cabbage. Mix until well combined, cover and refrigerate. HEAT grill to medium heat. t burgers about 7 minutes on each side. If desired, brush a little bit of olive oil on burger buns and grill cut side down until just toasted. TO ASSEMBLE, place burger on bottom bun, top with slaw and cover with top bun.

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INGREDIENTS: 1 pound ground chicken 1 egg 1/4 cup white onion, minced 1 (1 ounce) packet dry ranch seasoning ½ cup Buffalo sauce 1 cup mayonnaise 1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar 2 large carrots, shredded ½ head regular cabbage, shredded ½ head purple cabbage, shredded 4 hamburger buns Olive oil

10 THE LEAF-EATER BURGER

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FOR ALL YOU VEGETARIANS OUT THERE. AND YOU MEAT EATERS, TOO. YOU’D BE SURPRISED HOW DELICIOUS THIS BURGER IS. NO, IT DOESN’T TAKE LIKE DRY LEAVES RUBBED IN DIRT. NO, YOU WON’T LOOK LIKE A RABBIT WHEN YOU EAT IT. INGREDIENTS: 1 cup black beans, canned 1 cup lentils, cooked ¼ cup yellow onion, chopped 2 stalks celery, diced 1 large carrot, diced 1 cup button mushrooms, chopped 3 teaspoons garlic, minced 1/2 cup roasted red peppers, canned 1 cup flour ½ cup oatmeal ¼ cup sunflower seeds ¼ cup walnuts, chopped 2 teaspoons paprika 2 teaspoons chili powder 2 Tablespoons parsley, chopped salt and pepper and cider vinegar to taste 4 large Portobello mushrooms, clean and stems removed Red onion, thickly sliced White cheddar cheese, slices (optional) Arugula (optional) Tomato (optional) Cook and strain lentils, combine with strained black beans and set aside. In a large skillet, heat one tablespoon of vegetable oil over medium heat. Add carrot, onion, celery and mushrooms. Cook until vegetables are soft and onion is translucent. Remove cooked vegetables from skillet and transfer to a blender or food processor. Add canned red peppers and puree until it forms a paste. Transfer bean paste to a mixer fitted with a paddle attachment. Add flour, oatmeal, sunflower seeds, walnuts, chili powder, paprika and parsley. Mix on low speed until well combined. Taste and adjust seasoning with salt, pepper and cider vinegar. Refrigerate mixture overnight to hydrate flour and oatmeal. Preheat oven to 450° F.

Place Portobello mushrooms caps open side facing up on one half of a baking sheet, on other half place thick cut slices of red onions. Drizzle mushroom caps and red onions with olive oil. Roast for 12 minutes, remove pan from oven and season with salt and pepper. Transfer mushroom caps to a plate and return onions to oven for another 10-15 minutes. When onions are soft and starting to caramelize, remove from oven. Form refrigerated veggie mixture into patties and grill over medium heat or bake at 375° F until slightly crispy on the outside. If using cheese, place one slice of cheddar on each patty after first flip on the grill. Fill mushroom caps with arugula and tomato, if using. Then place a few roasted onions followed by veggie patty.

11 JUICY CY BURGER YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY; IF IT AIN’T BROKE, DON’T FIX IT. THIS IS A CLASSIC AMERICAN BURGER: EASY TO MAKE AND DELICIOUS TO EAT. THIS ONE TASTES EVEN BETTER IF YOU’RE OUTSIDE ON A PICNIC BENCH LISTENING TO COUNTRY MUSIC AND WATCHING FIREWORKS. ‘MERICA!

In a medium bowl, MIX together ground beef, garlic, Worcestershire and egg. Form into 8 patties and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes. COOK bacon in a large skillet until crispy. REMOVE bacon from pan and allow to cool. Once cooled, crumble into small pieces. MIX together shredded cheese and bacon pieces. HEAT grill to medium heat. REMOVE patties from refrigerator. On one patty, pile about ¼ cup of cheese and bacon mixture into center of patty. Top with a second beef patty and press firmly around the edges to seal. Grill for 2-3 minutes or for extra flavor, pan fry in remaining bacon drippings. SERVE on hamburger buns with your choice of toppings. If there is leftover cheese and bacon mixture, top burgers with that too.

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INGREDIENTS: 1 pound ground beef 2 teaspoons garlic, minced 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce 1 egg 4 strips bacon 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese salt and pepper 4 hamburger buns

SHAVE LIKE A

GENTLEMAN

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Facial hair kicks ass. Shaving does not. That’s a pretty universally agreed upon belief, for both men and women. Men shave in front of the mirror with low-grade disposable razors, women shave in the shower with those scented gel-infused whatever-you-callthem things from the commercials with the lady singing about Venus and fire and desire. The ordinary way of shaving is nothing more than a hassle. But shaving doesn’t have to be a hassle, if you don’t want it to. Your grandfather and his father and his father before him all shaved without

TROY TINNEAN OF THE GROOM ROOM.

using that dollar pack of cheap blades you bought at the supermarket, and their way — the classic way — is a lot better. Take it from Troy Tinnean of the Groom Room, a small men’s barbershop in downtown Ames. Tinnean, who runs the place alongside his wife, has been making guys look and feel like red-carpet-ready Brad Pitt for years. He also knows how to give a high-quality traditional

straight razor shave, just like the old men used to get. Straight razor shaves aren’t something that you can just pick up and start doing after a few quick pointers. It takes years of practice to get it right. When you do get it right, straight razors (which look a little like switchblades), give the closest shave money can buy. Done wrong, and you could slice your throat open. That’s why it’s best to leave it to

13 likely to become irritated. Combat this burning and redness with the next item in your gentleman’s shaving arsenal: Witch Hazel. It’s a liquid made from the leaves and bark of the Witch Hazel shrub, which grows right here in North America. It’s all natural, all USAmade, plentiful in moisturizers, and won’t leave your skin feeling burned. How can you go wrong? There you have it. Shaving doesn’t have to be a pain in the ass if you don’t want it to. It can be a gentlemanly, luxurious experience; and with the right equipment, you’ll not only enjoy it, you’ll look forward to it every morning. Of course, you should shave however you want, you’re an independent man who makes his own decisions. But honestly, if you don’t at least play around with ridiculous facial hair styles before you shave it all off, you’re doing everything wrong. Everything.

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professionals like Tinnean, or at least until you’ve received a crash course from the pros. If you want to treat yourself to a true gentlemen’s shave on your own, Tinnean says safety razors are the way to go. They look similar to those plastic razors we buy at the store, except they’re usually made with heavy, polished metal that will last for years and use the same kind of raw razor blades that slip into box-cutters. That might sound like a bloody disaster waiting to happen, but it’s really not much more dangerous than anything you’ve already been using. It’s probably even safer, considering you’ve been using those bottom-shelf blades that come in bulk packaging. As for shaving cream, the stuff most people use is satisfactory, but if you want the real deal — the real Don Draper-status stuff — you need to get a shaving soap and badger hair brush kit. Shaving soap comes packed into a little bowl, and looks like, well, soap. But splash a little water on it, take your badger hair brush — yes, real badger hair, extra points if you harvest the hair off the badger with your own two hands — and stir it up, and you have some of the most luxurious shaving cream known to mankind. It’s like pouring clouds on your face. After a shave as close as the one you’ll get from your new safety razor, your skin is more

SAFETY RAZORS ARE THE WAY TO GO SAFETY RAZORS ARE THE WAY TO GO SAFETY RAZORS ARE THE WAY TO GO

THE REAL DON DRAPER-STATUS STUFF.

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AFTER-SHAVE: A lotion or balm used post shaving. Containing some form of denatured alchol, citrate, or witch hazel, aftershave can function as an antispetic for possible cuts from a shave that may have been a bit too close.

WHETSTONE: A tool used to sharpen razors and other cutting tools inorder to deliver that Demon of Fleet Street style shave.

SHAVING BRUSH: Small brush used to apply shaving soap or cream to even the most hipster of mugs. Originally fashinoned in the style of the french “blaireau”, These brushes have come to be known by their nickname, the “Badger”.

SHAVING SOAP: Typically a hard soap that is whipped into a lather using a barber’s “Badger”. The lather provides protection, as well as lubrication for the razor.

You’ve got a brain, we’re betting you can guess why these are here.

THE STRAIGHT RAZOR: The quintessential shaving device, the straight razor represents a level of mastery and skill when held by one’s barber. These elegent shaving instruments are also often referred to as open razors, however a more devilish association has come to see them nicknamed cut-throat razors.

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EXTRA BUTTONS:

HINER

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FINNR INN // @ ICHAEL F M Y B Y N R E E WRITT RGAN AV D BY MO DESIGNE

In a little house tucked away in an Ames come from — are some of the most passionate neighborhood, an old worn-down garage door walks of life you’ll ever meet. creaks open. It's still early in the morning, before “They’re a blast to ride. If you ever need all the regular working folk have even brewed up a reason to get into them, just go for one ride. their first pot of coffee. The birds are chirping, That’s all it takes,” Seeman says. the sun is shining, the roads are empty and Seeman knows all about being a passionate totally silent. rider. He’s only been riding motorcycles for a few A monstrous roar erupts from the garage. years, but he comes off as someone who has been The old lady next-door gets a rude awakening. around the block. His tiny garage is packed to the Out of the ceiling with MOTORCYCLE RIDERS — NO MATTER WHERE THEY darkness of everything ARE OR WHERE THEY COME FROM — ARE SOME OF THE the garage, a motorcycles: MOST PASSIONATE WALKS OF LIFE YOU’LL EVER MEET. motorcycle rusty tooland its boxes, greasy rider shoot out full-throttle, slinging smoke and engines, half-built custom rides, promotional terrifying noise into the air, and rockets forward stickers plastered wherever there’s empty space onto the empty road ahead. Not a single car in and a Mad Max poster covering the window. This sight. The rider can feel the morning sun on his garage is his motorcycle sanctuary, a place where face and the wind running through his hair and he comes to escape and admire his bikes. the heavy rumble of the engine beneath him. He Seeman describes the first bike he owned, closes his eyes and soaks in the bliss. a vintage Honda road bike, as a “pile of shit.” It The rider opens his eyes and finds himself was always breaking down and always requiring slouched over in his chair in one of his classes on a new parts. For someone who’s just getting into bitter cold winter afternoon. The whole thing had motorcycles, a bike like this is pretty standard. all been just a dream. But he made do with what he had, and as a result, The rider is Marc Seeman, a 28-year-old he gained a much deeper understanding of how marketing major at Iowa State, and recently they work. he’s been daydreaming a lot about riding his Many people will say there are “cliques” motorcycle; almost constantly, in fact. He and in the motorcycle world. There’s the sport bike so many other motorcycle riders at Iowa State enthusiasts who crave speed. The loyal Harley are practically pulling their hair out waiting for owners — a proud subset of American people a chance to hit the road again. It’s almost like that might as well have their own country and they’ve been going for months without sex. government. The vintage bike lovers, who love And for these guys, comparing motorcycle anything that looks and feels old, because that’s riding to having sex isn’t too far off. Motorcycle the way bikes ought to be. And of course, the riders — no matter where they are or where they people who have no problem riding those ugly

N D O N A R B

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three-wheeled abominations… these are the into the sunset with a beautiful model hugging on same people who have no shame in wearing to his back. their shit-stained sweatpants out for a stroll Vintage bikes are Seeman’s bread and butter, around Walmart. but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t appreciate the If you had to place Seeman into one of other types. He admires anything and anyone who these cliques, he’d fit right in with the vintage rides on two wheels. bikers. Over the last five or six years, he’s owned “All motorcycles are cool in some way six different bikes — some of them complete and or another, it’s just a matter of what kind of road-ready motorcycles, others incomplete project riding you want to do, what suits your lifestyle,” bikes known as “basket cases” — and all them Seeman says. have been old bikes. Brandon Shearer, 27 years old and a The thing about old bikes is that they’re senior in mechanical engineering, has been riding almost always sport bikes for a pain in about “ALL MOTORCYCLES ARE COOL IN SOME WAY OR ANOTHER, the ass, both IT’S JUST A MATTER OF WHAT KIND OF RIDING YOU WANT two years. TO DO, WHAT SUITS YOUR LIFESTYLE.” literally and “I thought figuratively. it would Literally, because riding them for an extended be fun to get into, and plus, it’s a little different period of time is terribly uncomfortable, especially and riskier feel,” Shearer says. “I’ve never liked with the cafe racers (a certain popular style of vin- convertibles, but I like riding a bike.” tage bike), and figuratively, because they’re always Blasting through the open air at top speed breaking down. on a sport bike is one of Shearer’s favorite things “There’s a certain level of knowledge about riding. He likes it so much that he’s crazy and patience you have to have with the old enough to do it almost year-round, even if it’s motorcycles, because you’re eventually going to minus 10 degrees outside and the roads are have to fix something,” Seeman says. covered in patches of ice. He’s that guy. Pains in the ass aside, vintage bikes have a “It kinda feels badass. It’s like, no one else is certain unmistakable coolness about them, doing this,” Shearer says. like something Steve McQueen would ride off

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B RIAN

Shearer once got frostbite under his chin from riding around in the cold. He says he risks his skin like this mostly because gas is a lot cheaper on a bike, but also because he simply enjoys riding. Above all, he rides year round because he’s a diehard. It takes a lot to keep Shearer off his bike. His current bike, a 2001 Honda Nighthawk, is a bright-red sport bike that moves and looks like a racer but rides like a touring motorcycle — a “sport hybrid.” Sport bikes are made to go fast, but touring motorcycles are made to go long distances. They’re designed to be comfortable, gas-efficient, capable of a decent amount of storage, and to ride smoothly. Shearer’s other bike, a touring Nighthawk, has been on some long trips. Not long ago, Shearer rode it 900 miles in a single day to visit his girlfriend living in Wyoming at the time. Towed behind the bike was a custom luggage rack he himself built, carrying a gas can and his duffle bag. “On one hand, it was exhausting,” Shearer says. “But on the other hand, it was so fun, and I made good time getting halfway across the country.” The custom luggage rack Shearer built is one of the very few small-scale things he has created

on his own. Fabrication fascinates him and he wants to learn more, but he has only dipped his toes into the custom fabrication world. Other guys, like Brian Paul, a 28-year-old ISU alumni who lives and works in Ames, have been toying around with bikes for years. Paul is standing in front of his workbench in his Ames garage-workshop, feeling around with his blackened mechanic’s hands and looking for some unnamed tool. There’s an entire wall of tools in front of him and even more behind him. Huge steel drills, bandsaws, metal grinders, almost everything you’d ever need to do some custom fabrication. Paul is a mechanic by trade — he works at a parts shop in Ames and he graduated with a degree in industrial technology — but he’s been messing around with machines for as long as he can remember. As a kid, he took apart lawnmowers and weed-eaters just to see what was inside. His dad, a marine mechanic, always coached him when he ran into a snag on one of his projects. Over time, Paul’s fabrication skills improved and he started working on more serious projects. His first project bike is still hiding in a dark corner of his garage. It’s a mean yet hilarious looking beast: a matte black mini-chopper complete with skull shifter, red bandana-patterned banana seat, spider web weldings on the frame,

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lawnmower engine positioned directly under the dangerous if you don’t know what you’re doing, ass, and wheels that look like they were ripped off but sport bikes have a lot more power than other a little kid’s Red Flyer wagon. bikes, and many people — often young kids It’s not a pretty machine, but it’s an purchasing a sport bike for the first time — don’t important reminder of where Paul started out. know how to safely use that power. He’s come a long way since the mini-chopper… Sport bikes aren’t always the most powerful since then, he’s owned thirteen bikes, many of bikes, however. The all-around ruler of the power which were projects. One of his more recent bike class is the Harley, the most well-known project bikes was an original 1972 Yamaha DS7 name in American-made motorcycles. Cruiser — another basic Japanese road bike — Justin Sheridan, 20 years old and a criminal until he transformed it into a beautiful cafe racer justice major, identifies with the Harley Davidson with plenty of the dangerous power that comes brand. His entire family is loyal to the black and with most stock racers. orange brand, and Justin has been around it since “This thing is such a cop magnet. A cops sees he was just a kid. this thing, he won’t think it’s street legal. But it’s “It’s the classic American motorcycle,” weird, because it totally is,” Paul says. Sheridan says. “You can tell a Harley from any Paul isn’t kidding about how cops feel about other bike just by the sound it makes. That’s my motorcycles. Cops foam at the mouth when they favorite part about them.” see motorcycles zipping by at over a hundred Sheridan still hasn’t been able to afford a miles an hour, especially when it’s a sport bike. Harley of his own. For now, he owns a 2003 Sport bikes, or perhaps better known as Yamaha V-Star, a big dog of a bike that looks “crotch rockets,” started gaining popularity and sounds a lot like a Harley. He has ridden his around the 1980s. Before they hit the mainstream, V-Star all the way to Missouri, Wisconsin and these bikes were used for nothing more than Minnesota, and this year he plans to take it professional to Sturgis — COPS FOAM AT THE MOUTH WHEN THEY SEE racing on an infamous MOTORCYCLES ZIPPING BY AT OVER A HUNDRED MILES closedmotorcycle AN HOUR, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S A SPORT BIKE. circuit race festival held tracks. The every year in people who rode these bikes were part of a small South Dakota for the Harley Davidson types — group of people who knew how to ride them and he plans to ride alongside a few of his Harleywithout getting themselves killed. Racing is what riding family members. these bikes are built for… but nowadays they’re Some people ride motorcycles as nothing mostly used as everyday get-around bikes, and more than a hobby. Sheridan doesn’t quite fall Paul thinks that can cause some problems. into that category. He rides to get places. Last “For the purpose that they [sport bikes] summer, he put 8,000 miles on his V-Star… while serve, they’re incredible. They’re the fastest only putting 80 miles on his pickup truck. thing, best handling thing, but as far as having All these guys have very different tastes in something like that as your everyday street bike, motorcycles. Some like them fast and dangerous, it’s just not that practical,” Paul says. “If you’re a some like them sturdy and dependable, some like young guy, I can see the appeal. It’s the fastest, them raw and vintaged. craziest thing you can buy that’s street legal.” But if there’s one thing these guys have in Seeman agrees with Paul: “It’s crazy to think common, it’s why they ride. about. If you were to buy a Formula One car, It’s not what you ride, it’s why you ride. you’d never be able to drive it on the street. But That’s the common thread among all riders. you can buy a 1000 CC sport bike that isn’t too No matter what kind of machine you’ve got far off from the fastest bikes used on race tracks, underneath you, all riders know how great that and you can ride it down the road.” feeling is when you hit the road, the wind blowing There’s no doubt about it. Sport bikes are through your hair and the deafening roar of the super adrenaline-pumping, impressive marvels engine beneath you. That feeling of absolute, of modern technology, but they’re also extremely blissful, meditative, open-road freedom. dangerous. Of course, all motorcycles can be

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21 IT SEEMS LIKE OUR GENERATION IS ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT HOW WE WANT TO GET OUT AND SEE THE WORLD.

DOING AT HEADSTAND IN PARIS, FRANCE

e all have goals in life. Get a good job, Francois traveled south to Australia. maybe start a family, have or adopt some “Iowa State is really good with their study kids. These are what some consider abroad program, there’s quite a few that are direct “normal” life goals. But if you’re like me, exchange, where you pay your home fees and the thought of being cooped up in an office tuition. So I was paying what I would normally be cubicle wasting your life away scares the shit out paying at Iowa State and then I would just have of you. You aren’t ready for that kind of life yet. the cost of living abroad,” Francois said. You want to get out there and see the world. You Chris Turner, junior in business want to experience life. You want to travel. management, works for the Iowa State Outdoor But how will you do it? With all the financial Recreation Program. One of Turner’s biggest obligations that hold us down traveling endeavors was planning like a bad hangover holds us a personal trip to Europe, under our bed sheets, it seems as which can be quite expensive SOMETIMES though we have no time or money if undertaken the conventional I THINK I to dedicate to travel. Never fear way. But Turner doesn’t travel the future adventurers, two Iowa State conventional way. HAD A MORE students found a way to travel to “We went to three different AUTHENTIC over a dozen countries between countries: England, France and EXPERIENCE the two of them. And on a college Italy,” Turner said. “I would set budget, no less. Even Indiana WITHOUT THE myself a daily allowance and I Jones himself would tip his hat would try and hit those GUIDEBOOK. numbers every day so that I knew to these two. Ryan Francois, a senior in how much I was spending.” civil engineering, took advantage of ISU’s study Turner says the biggest money saver is abroad program two semesters in a row. Right planning your trip in advance and buying airline after his internship in San Francisco, Francois was tickets ahead, because let’s be real here… no one off to Singapore, where he extensively explored likes being felt up by the TSA and having an Southeast Asia. After his adventure in the orient, empty wallet before they even arrive.

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BUT HOW OFTEN DO WE GO THROUGH WITH THESE PLANS? NOT OFTEN ENOUGH, IT SEEMS. THESE TWO IOWA STATE MEN BOTH WENT THROUGH WITH THEIR PLANS TO TRAVEL THE WORLD, AND THEY HAVE SOME ADVICE FOR ANYONE WHO WANTS TO FOLLOW IN THEIR FOOTSTEPS.

22 CLIMBING DUFOURSPITZE, MONTE ROSA, SWITZERLAND

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RICE PADDY IN RURAL MYANMAR

himself from starvation. “I only went to maybe two restaurants, all the other times I would just go to local markets and get groceries,” Turner said. I would just get a likes being felt up by the TSA and having an loaf of bread, some cheese, meat and fruit.” empty wallet before they even arrive. Even though Turner didn’t dine out very “If you get your tickets six or seven months often, he still got a great sense of the culture and in advance you can get round trip to London for tradition surrounding that country’s food. He $800 to $900, rather than round trip to Italy for bought and ate food that the normal citizenry $2500,” Turner said. buy, not the expensive stuff that tourists always get Transportation while in the country can caught up in. And he says a lot of the restaurant also be a predicament; Francois and Turner both cuisine in Europe is very Americanized, anyway. advocate the use of the local public transit, Francois’s first destination had a lower “When I was in Southeast standard of living than Europe, so Asia, I really tried to travel as eating was no problem. “The cool cheaply as possible. Every chance I thing about a lot of countries, AT FIRST READ, could eat at a local place and take including Singapore, is the cost THE WORD local transportation I would, like of living is a lot less…Food was local buses,” Francois said. really cheap, surprisingly. It was “HITCHHIKE” Towards the end of his MAY SEEM AS like a dollar for a plate.” adventure around the world, As far as tourist-y things to SKETCHY AS A do, the main attractions are not Francois stopped in Canada for a week and hitchhiked and couch GAS STATION what usually what you’d expect. surfed the whole trip. At first read, Maybe you go to the Louvre to BATHROOM the word “hitchhike” may seem as see the Mona Lisa, but you never sketchy as a gas station bathroom, really get to see her. You stand but it can make for some memorable experiences. on your toes as you try to peek over the mass of “A lot of people would be kind of nervous tourists, and catch a short glimpse of her, and she about hitchhiking, but I met a lot more people stares back at you with those cold, lifeless eyes than I would have taking buses and I saved from behind her glass case, and then it’s over. Now money,” Francois said. “I met all different types what do you do? of people, and real Canadians too. I heard from This is what happens too frequently when farmers, this guy who was a sailor, a guy working traveling to tourist-heavy areas. Ninety percent in solar energy and hotel management. And real of people are going to go to the main attractions. authentic conversation that you wouldn’t get if Francois and Turner both suggest avoiding these you were on a bus or a train.” areas by walking your own path and exploring the What and where to eat is often an lesser-seen places of whatever country you’re in. overlooked aspect of travel. The price of food can “I think it’s a much more real experience. vary depending on the country you’re visiting. The way we traveled through Italy we just made Luckily, Turner found a cheap, easy way to keep our way north from city to city. That really gave

23 MARINA BAY SAND’S INFINITY POOL IN SINGAPORE

PANTHEON IN ROME

GREAT BARRIER REEF, AUSTRALIA

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us an opportunity to see Rome and [the leaning tower of ] Pisa and all those famous places, but a lot of the smaller places as well,” Turner said. “And I definitely encourage that, it’s a different experience.” Guidebooks are often a go-to resource for would-be travelers. But sometimes guidebooks can take away from the experience. They should be used with a grain of salt. “I kept trying to get away from using it a lot of times, especially in Southeast Asia where everybody who has the guidebook kind of does the same thing,” Francois said. “So you’ll be in this really cool country, really cool city with all kinds of fun stuff. And guidebook recommends their top choices and they sound really awesome. But then everybody reads that and everybody goes there…sometimes I think I had a more authentic experience without a guidebook.” In order to truly explore the place you’re in, in order to see the smaller, more special places, Francois says ditch the plan. Did Indiana Jones have a plan? Sometimes, but improvisation is a skill best learned with practice. “If you travel with less of a plan and really just immerse yourself…I really like the idea of slow travel and just living like you’re in that country,” Francois said. “A typical vacation, at least in my experience, you plan out all the stuff you want to do. And at the end of the day it’s kind of disappointing if you don’t get to certain things…And at the end of the trip you look back on the things you didn’t do and you appreciate the things you did do less.” Accommodations are yet another factor that must be considered when traveling. When traveling with one other person, couchsurfing is a

great alternative to hotel expenses. Couchsurfing is a website, much like Craigslist, that connects travelers to people who are willing to offer up a place to stay for a few nights, completely free of charge. That’s right, no money is going to be spent and no creepy, sexually deviant acts need be performed, like some areas of Craigslist would have you believe. “Couchsurfing is a community that kind of has a pay it forward mentality, where you offer your couch to travelers who may need somewhere to stay,” Turner said. “You have a profile on couchsurfer.com and you get rated on your service or your accommodations. And you can also take advantage of that the other way around; you can find someone who can put you up. And the website is all monitored so you can’t just be any old rapist.” For more than two people, hostels are another affordable alternative to hotels; again the price depends on the country. The difference between hostels and hotels is that hostels are essentially one big space that all travelers share with each other, while hotels accommodate people in their own personal rooms. “Hostels (in southeast Asia) are a couple bucks a night or five to six dollars at some places. So really affordable hostels” Francois said. Finding a hostel to stay in is going to require some research as well. Luckily, hostelworld.com has an abundance of hostels to choose from. And they’re even organized by type and are rated based on user-submitted reviews. Fortune and glory can only last for so long, but if you plan your trip correctly you will discovered cool places and make awesome memories that will last a lifetime. So take it from us… get out there and do as many possible things that scare you. That’s what life is about.

E M E V O L

YOUNG PEOPLE ALL OVER THE WORLD ARE USING A WILDLY POPULAR DATING APP CALLED TINDER TO HOOK UP, GET LAID, AND SOMETIMES EVEN FALL IN LOVE, AND IT ALL STARTS BY A SIMPLE SWIPE TO THE RIGHT. SOME HAVE FOUND LOVE ON TINDER. OTHERS HAVE FOUND A DRUNKEN, THREE O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING BOOTY CALL. AHH, YOUNG LOVE. ISN’T IT BEAUTIFUL?

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Y L R E D N I T Love is a simple yet elusive dream, entirely capable of sucking hard. Just ask Taylor Swift. Or Drake. Or me. Finding a meaningful relationship out there in the real, tangible world is basically no longer a possibility. If I sound bitter, it’s because why won’t you have sex with me. I recently realized I needed a new way to connect with the ladies, and I needed it now. Trolling for women in line at the DMV was becoming exponentially futile and my corneas were rapidly approaching the apex of their Mace threshold. So where did I turn? The same place I turned when I needed to look at kittens or else I might die and when I needed to learn how horrifying sexual intercourse is: The Internet. There’s this whole vast, endless cosmos out there that nobody even knows about, full of e-people just waiting to make your romantic acquaintance. The dating app I’ll be focusing on here, something that is insanely and inexplicably popular right now, is called Tinder. Okay, now I know many of you are probably feeling a little skeptical. You’re probably thinking, “Come on, Dan. I mean, what even is the Internet?” Well, fear not, young wards, because I am here to tell you that I have witnessed love on the Internet. That’s right. Two of my closest friends met each other in a YouTube comment thread back in 2007. Just a few days later, they took their vows and married over a Skype call, traveled to Bora Bora and had some crazy passionate honeymoon sex using nothing but

Snapchat. You don’t think it’s possible, but it is. With such a hodgepodge of dating technology available today, it can be easy to get lost out there in cyberspace and end up trying to date a lightly-used Weber grill you found on Craigslist. Luckily, I’ve been around the block several times as it pertains to dating sites, so allow me to direct you toward success. I’ll be just like Will Smith in that one date-doctor movie. I also plan on aiding you in the survival of a zombie apocalypse and using my super powers and alcoholism to both rescue you from peril and destroy the town you love. Let’s call this thing, I Am Hitchcock. An infinite number of high-fives if you’re still following along. The word “tinder” used to mean “dry, flammable material used for lighting a fire,” but now it means, “I get to judge strangers based solely on appearance and that is fucking awesome.” And it truly is. The way Tinder works is fairly simple: It finds other users of the opposite sex in your area, shows you their profile and allows you to decide whether or not this living, breathing human being deserves love and happiness. What a rush! The app lets you use your thumb to swipe each person either left in disgust or right in approval. In most cases, you will decide that this person, in fact, does not deserve love and happiness, and may as well have had their private parts removed to make room for more ugly. Next candidate. When setting up your profile, it’s important to consider how you want other people to perceive you. Tinder lets you upload up to six photos to

DISCLAIMER: DAN DOES NOT WORK FOR TINDER. OR OWN A CELL PHONE.

“

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your hands, just as long as they approve of you, as well. A “match,” boys and girls, is what happens when two strangers want to make sex. It’s typically only heard of in fairytales, such as Cinderella and EuroTrip, but I’ve seen it happen on Tinder before, so keep your eyes open. The app allows you and your matches to message back and forth and to start discussing foreplay techniques and preferred positions. And in some cases, number of children (do not, under any circumstances, use Tinder near Lincoln, Neb.). I’d like share one of my Tinder success stories THE WAY TINDER WORKS with you guys. It was hard to decide which one I wanted to share with you, because I’ve had so IS FAIRLY SIMPLE... [IT] many and they were both so memorable. ALLOWS YOU TO DECIDE It was early February, and I was at some WHETHER OR NOT THIS sports thing called the “Souper Bowl,” I didn’t really understand what was going on, so I spent LIVING, BREATHING HUMAN most of the event on Tinder, looking for my BEING DESERVES LOVE AND first wife. After sifting through a sizeable wave HAPPINESS. WHAT A RUSH!! of gargoyles for a couple hours, I came across an undeniably captivating beauty. Her name was Bobby. All her pictures included horses, which your profile, so choose wisely. Definitely find a I thought was really cool. It was match at first few where you’re surrounded by people who are far more attractive than you. Add a couple of you swipe. Things started moving pretty quickly, and rocking fishbowl-sized sunglasses and one more of it wasn’t until our third date that I realized Bobby your cleavage and you should be good to go (these was, in fact, a real horse. And a male horse, at that. apply to both guys and girls). Tinder also lets you Apparently I hadn’t even been using Tinder when I met him. I had been operating on a website slap a 500-word bio on your profile, which is not to be wasted. This is where you finally get a chance called livestockpost.com and, through no fault of to show the world you’re more than just a stranger my own, entered into a romantic relationship with one of the Budweiser Clydesdales. I implore you, who has hot friends, giant sunglasses and B-cups. Show them the real you. I usually like to go with a dear reader, to learn from my mistakes. At the end of the day, it’s important to excerpt from either a Shakespearean tragedy or an remember that Tinder’s most fundamental Alanis Morissette song, but that’s just me. purpose is to bring people together – people who One great aspect of Tinder is its portability. would have otherwise had no way of meeting It’s like you’re literally carrying an encyclopedia unless they went outside and attempted living of strange horniness around in your pocket in the real world. Which, as I stated earlier, is no at all times, and that power can be a little longer feasible. I know it sounds harsh, scary and bit overwhelming at times. Don’t overdo it. even a tad dramatic, but this is, without question, Recommended Tinder usage times include: the last chance any of us will have at finding love. waiting for the bus, taking a shit, neglecting You could let it slip away, or you could download your real life friendships, waiting for your Lean Cuisine to finish heating up in the microwave, and Tinder, bury your face in your phone screen for the rest of your life and pray to the gods of crashing your car. romance that someone out there is just as hopeless In the event that you do approve of someone as you are. Your move, stranger. on Tinder, you may have a potential “match” on

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THE ROAD TO IOWA STATE FOR MELVIN EJIM WAS FILLED WITH TWISTS AND TURNS. CHOOSING BETWEEN BASKETBALL AND EATING, LOSING A BEST FRIEND AND GOING FROM FOES TO FRIENDS WITH HIS TEAMMATE GEORGES NIANG, THIS PICTUREPERFECT STUDENTATHLETE HAS EARNED HIS STARDOM - EVERY LAST BIT.

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28 stood Melvin Ejim, wearing a freshly broken-in “Big 12 Champions” hat pulled tightly on his head. The recently crowned Big 12 Player of the Year had just won the Big 12 Tournament and was waving a snip of the net he had just cut down. Thousands of Iowa State fans who made the trek to Kansas City were watching and adoring this generation of Cyclones’ first four-year senior. Every pair of eyes could see Ejim standing at the top of the ladder, the highest point on the floor — looking over the rest of the Cyclone nation, smiling and laughing and embracing each other, as confetti rained down from the ceiling. But what every fan, player and coach could not see were the rungs of Melvin Ejim’s life he had scratched, clawed and climbed to get to where he stood now, at the top of the ladder, arm raised, victory in hand.

CHOOSING WISELY When Ejim was just a kid growing up in Toronto, his mom fought to care for three of her own kids and one of Ejim’s cousins in a simple two-bedroom apartment. She had to sometimes choose whether to feed mouths or pay a bill over sending him to an AAU basketball tournament. “We didn’t really have much,” Ejim remembered. “We had a huge family with so many people, but we always made it through.” “Back then times were hard because I was a single mom,” said Ejim’s mother Elizabeth. “He’d say make sure you put him in, he has the height, the physical ability. I told my brother I couldn’t afford it, not right now.” Sending young Ejim to a tournament could cost anywhere around $200. All that Ejim’s mom, Elizabeth, could afford while keeping the family afloat was around $50 to $100. That’s where his AAU coaches came in to help. “I remember asking my mom if I could go to this tournament and I know that we don’t have enough money to get to it, I know that she’s just getting by,” Ejim said. “I’m going over to my coaches asking them if there’s any way that I could

get on these trips.” While on the road, they would pick up the check for Ejim at a restaurant or take care of his hotel bill, which left him thankful as ever. He still remembers today how meaningful that was to his development not only as a player, but as a person.

HIS TOUGHEST LOSS It was Ejim’s uncle who made the push for the youngster to start playing basketball over soccer. Ejim, along with many of his family members, were talented soccer players. Ejim’s uncle recognized his height and leaping ability as an obvious foot-in-the-door into playing basketball. At first in junior high when he really started to play organized basketball, he played like the one kid on every talented AAU team who had already hit his growth spurt, relying on sheer size and athleticism to bring home victories. Ejim doesn’t think too highly of those first few years playing basketball, however. “I was horrible, I sucked,” Ejim laughed. “I only really started playing organized basketball around seventh or eighth grade and when I started playing, others had been playing for years. I was just a big guy who could block shots and rebound. I was horrible, it took me a while to start getting it going.” Once he did get going, Ejim became best friends with a young man named Kofi Mensa. Ejim describes him as a 6-foot-4 shooting guard who shined the brightest among plenty of stars on their C.I.A. Bounce AAU basketball team. While boatloads of scouts were in and out seeing players on his team like Tristen Thompson, who now plays for the Cleveland Cavaliers, or Cory Joseph, who now plays for the San Antonio Spurs, they were all really there to see Mensa. But Mensa never made it to his 20th birthday. He passed away in November of 2010 after a long battle with pancreatic cancer. The funeral was held on Nov. 27, 2010 — the same day Iowa State beat Montana State

FOES TO FRIENDS Ejim stood on the court at the Sukup Practice Facility waiting for his teammate Georges Niang to join him after grabbing a ball off the rack. The pair of friends — who in the past two seasons have formed an inseparable bond on and off the court — in fact used to hate each other’s guts. Back before the two teammates had even

dreamed about playing for Iowa State, Ejim and Niang played ball for their prep schools, which were bitter rivals — Brewster Academy and Tilton School, respectively. At the time, Iowa State already had their sights on Ejim, but Niang was still waiting to be picked up. In one game, after a much younger Niang had just scored a layup, some typical smack-talk was exchanged. “Iowa State? Who could ever go there?” Niang screamed at Ejim, Brewster’s senior forward. “They’re terrible!” On the way back down the court, Niang caught a “friendly” elbow from Ejim, who let him know the comment wasn’t appreciated while firing back a little heat of his own. “I was just like, ‘Where are you committed to?’” Ejim said. “And he couldn’t say anything because at that point he didn’t really get a lot of interest.” Niang hadn’t received much interest yet as a sophomore and hadn’t even been offered a scholarship yet. Brewster went on the win that game 11070, but Georges — in classic Brewster-Tilton rivalry fashion — recalls it being closer to a 20-point game. A year later during Ejim’s freshman campaign at Iowa State, Fred Hoiberg’s car pulled up next to Ejim who was standing outside Seasons dining center. Ejim spotted a familiar face sitting in the passenger seat. Ejim bent his neck around to get a glance,

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81-59 and Ejim scored 19 points and grabbed eight rebounds. “He was a great athlete, an unbelievable player and I thought the sky was the limit for him,” Ejim said. “It was really just brought down and taken down by his cancer. It brought our whole community together, our family and his family. But Kofi was just unbelievable. “He was going to be anywhere he wanted. He was by far the best player on our team.” It kills Ejim that he missed Mensa’s funeral, but for the past four years, he’s paid a subtle tribute to him that very few know about. “I wear his bracelet every day,” Ejim said fidgeting with the bracelet on his wrist. “He was someone that I play for and love and miss. It was great that I had an opportunity to be a part of his life and he had an opportunity to affect so many people in his life.”

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30 and saw Niang staring right back at him. “I saw him and I was like, ‘Ah man, I hate this kid!’” Ejim said. Hoiberg flagged down Ejim to come say hello to the newest visitor to Iowa State’s campus and potentially a new teammate in two year’s time. To make things even more awkward, Niang was wearing his Tilton basketball sweatshirt. Niang says that Ejim “gave him the look.” The two both admit they’ve gotten over the clashes they once had in high school and have actually become great friends, even when they aren’t counting on each other while going to battle against Big 12 foes. But there’s still some of the old high school smack-talk here and there, even if it’s only playful. Ejim’s Brewster Academy recently won another NEPSAC league title, and the two took to Twitter debating about who would beat each other if they ever had the chance to play each other again. “That was just a little funny joke that we have especially since he ended up coming here,” Ejim said. “And you know, they’d end up losing to us like they always do, so I always have bragging rights over him.” Maybe someday they’ll play against each other again, exchanging elbows and sharp words on the court. But these guys are good friends now, so it will always be in good fun. For now, they’re content with holding their Big 12 championship title together.

A TRUE STUDENT ATHLETE As the whole Iowa State basketball team boarded a plane after a brutal triple-overtime 9897 win against Oklahoma State, Ejim had more on his mind than catching some shut eye on the flight home. Instead, Ejim had an 8 a.m. exam to study for. As students, we feel our busy schedules can sometimes be too much to handle. In reality, student athletes have it a little tougher than most. This isn’t anything new for Ejim. The Big 12 Player of the Year and All-American has been doing this for the last four years, all while maintaining a 3.7 GPA throughout. So how does he manage to do it all? “I’m just really competitive when it comes to anything,” Ejim said. “I always wanted to be in the top of the class and get the best grade that

I can because I knew it always made my mom proud and if I took care of business there, then I had a chance to go to a tournament or something.” The academics were drilled into Ejim and his family’s heads early and often. If he got a bad grade on an exam or a quiz, he wasn’t playing basketball that weekend with his AAU team. “He’s always been an A-student,” Ejim’s mother Elizabeth said. “Maybe once when he went to France his teacher called me and he got a C and wanted to make sure he was okay because he thought something might be wrong.” With the way Ejim was brought up — to set an example and lead his younger siblings — he was never going to be the type that complained about his piles of homework that was stacked on top of his basketball responsibilities.

LOOKING FORWARD Now, as he warms up on the court for a game at the San Antonio AT&T Center for the NCAA Tournament, Ejim’s future is far, far away. He’s joking around with his brothers in cardinal and gold, shooting a fade-away from 40 feet. He’s the unquestioned leader on the No. 3 seeded Cyclones who will face NC Central in their first game — of many, they hope — of the NCAA Tournament. As a 6-foot-6 forward, he measures up as a “tweener” in the NBA world. But in his corner stands Hoiberg, who’s had quite a run in NBA himself, and he expects Ejim to succeed greatly at the next level. “He’s going to go down in history at Iowa State as one of the all-time greats,” Hoiberg says. “He’s putting himself in a position where he could hear his name on draft night.” When NBA officials sit down with Ejim before the upcoming NBA Draft this June, they’ll be talking to a senior with numerous awards, a sterling GPA, and Hoiberg — an immensely respected former NBA Player and front office executive — sitting by his side, just like he’s been for the past four years of Ejim’s astonishing career as a Cyclone. And with all Ejim has going for him, it’ll be tough to bet against a guy who has proven since he was a kid that he can really do it all.

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129 WELCH AVE 4518 MORTENSEN ROAD

AJ'S LIQUOR

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34 IT STARTED OUT AS A LOFTY MISSION: SPEND THREE DAYS IN A WHEELCHAIR, IN HOPES OF UNDERSTANDING WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE A PARAPLEGIC. IT ENDED UP AS JUST ANOTHER CRAZY, BOOZE-FILLED NIGHT ON THE TOWN. the porch cleaning his golf clubs. “Hey cripple. Wanna go golfing today? Oh wait, never mind! That really sucks, man.” That pissed me off. It was a gorgeous fall day, with vibrant blue skies and a soft, cool breeze. Sweatshirt-wearing , stogie-smoking and beerdrinking weather. A perfect day for golfing with my friends. I sadly shook my head and sat down in the wheelchair. “Yeah, well, thanks for the invite anyway. Have fun,” I said, and wheeled into the kitchen, feeling defeated. I took no precautions to make my house handicap-accessible. My roommates’ belongings were thrown carelessly all over the floor, as usual. Normally, these would’ve been minor annoyances that I would’ve simply kicked out of the way. Now they were roadblocks, preventing me from moving from one room to the next. My kitchen, along with the rest of my house, is far from wheelchair-friendly. But that never occurred to me until I was actually in a wheelchair. I always thought my kitchen was bigger than most kitchens. Not anymore. Now everything was in the wrong place, everything was squeezed together too tightly, everything was out of reach, every turn I made I nicked my toes on a sharp corner. Making a grilled cheese sandwich had never been so hard. I was getting frustrated. “Hey, Lucas! Will you come here and help me grab the cooking spray?” I yelled. Lucas stomped into the kitchen, clearly annoyed. “You know I’m not going to be your bitch, right?” That’s why so many disabled people don’t like asking for help, I thought. Responses like that. That’s why so many of them try so hard to

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Sometime around one o’clock on a brisk fall afternoon, I gave up the use of my legs. Earlier that morning I had been on two feet, making coffee and breakfast and walking down the stairs and out the front door. I rode my bike to class, flying down the road at breakneck speeds like I do every day. But now here I was, stuck in a wheelchair by choice, awkwardly struggling to get up a tiny set of stairs and wondering what the hell I’d gotten myself into. The wheelchair was loaned out from the Student Disability Services office. Most students have never been to this office, and will never have to. As I sat in the waiting room, a student walked in and the entire office smiled and loudly greeted him by his first name. He must come here often, I thought. One of the regulars. I felt a little out of place. The guy who runs the office, Steve Moats, was excited about my plan and was especially surprised when I told him I’d be doing it for an entire weekend. “Three days, huh? Well good luck to you. I know some students who have done it for a few hours, but not this long,” Steve said. Oh, great! Just what I needed, another blow to my already weak sense of courage. But I knew he was right. I would need a whole lot of willpower and patience to make it all the way through without giving up, and giving up would be as easy as saying “screw it” and getting out of the wheelchair. The wheelchair I received is the most generic, unexceptional and uncomfortable wheelchair you could possibly find — the kind of wheelchair you’d find gathering dust in the back of an ER waiting room — but I couldn’t afford to be picky. Not feeling ready enough to give up my legs quite yet, I walked the wheelchair home, where I was greeted by my roommate Lucas, who was on

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35 learn to do seemingly impossible things on their own, like climbing mountains or competing in marathons. I had read stories and seen videos of people doing these extraordinary things — things I’ve always wanted to, things I’m able to do — but I’ve always made up some bullshit excuse not to do them. Too busy, too broke, too lazy, too out of shape, whatever. Some people can’t even use their legs, and they’re not making any excuses. They’re damn well going to accomplish whatever they want to, no matter what people say. To hell with what everyone else says. And here I was, cursing under my breath and fumbling around trying to reach a can of cooking spray, ready to explode. A few hours later, after I clumsily pulled on a fresh pair of jeans and shirt, some of my friends came over and we set out for Paddy’s Irish Pub. I needed a drink. A tall, stiff, face-puckering drink… the kind you don’t enjoy, but rather slug down in bittersweet pain. Almost all bars in the area are inaccessible by wheelchair due to nothing more than a few flights of stairs. My friend Mike piggybacked me into the pub while my other friends carried my wheelchair. A guy sitting at the bar glanced over as Mike set me back into the wheelchair. “Wow. Now that is the definition of true friendship,” he said, and he raised his glass in the air. I wheeled up to the bar and ordered two whiskey and cokes. That drew an uncomfortable amount of stares… people seemed to think that a paraplegic getting drunk broke some sort of moral code, almost as if an old preacher had just stumbled up to the bar and started slamming back tequila shots. At the time I thought it was perfectly acceptable, maybe even necessary. All I wanted to do was tune out all those judgmental eyes, so I hid my face at the bottom of my drink. It was only a few minutes after gulping down my first drink that I had to use the bathroom. Shit… As if bar bathrooms weren’t already bad enough — no, these weren’t bathrooms, these were bodily fluid-caked portals to Hell — now I’d have to brave them in a wheelchair.

Sure enough, I couldn’t even squeeze myself into the bathroom on my own. The sink was crammed too closely between the doorway and the wall. I needed help from here on out, so Mike threw me over his back, walked into the bathroom and set my limp body on the toilet. The toilet had no seat and no stall door. My friends stood there and laughed at me while I awkwardly shimmied my pants off my legs and tried not to fall into the toilet, and I laughed through my teeth. Behind all that laughter, I was about ready to give up. Later that night, a friend drove us all back to his house, where he was having a party. Everyone was inside playing foosball, laughing and screaming, messing around with hockey sticks and flirting with girls. I mostly sulked outside on the porch alone, chain smoking cigarettes and watching cars drive by. Getting inside with my wheelchair was too tough, and moving around inside the tiny house would’ve been even tougher. I decided to head back to another bar just up the street, where my friend’s band was putting on a show. My friends inside the house were having too much fun to leave, so I traveled solo. No more wheelchair-pushers from here on out… which meant I had to conquer a two-block long steep incline on my own. On two feet, this hill would’ve taken me three minutes to walk. In the chair, it took me 15 minutes, with a few stop-and-smoke breaks. The ride to the top shredded the palms of my hands and embedded them with sharp little grains of gravel. Back at the bar, things were getting ugly. This was at that point in the night when everyone is sending text messages with one eye closed and forgetting the names of people they had just been flirting with for over an hour. Total Deterioration. Once again, I wheeled straight up to the bar. More drink, less think. Tune out those judgemental eyes. Never before in my life had I felt so judged and analyzed. I might as well have been prancing around the place completely naked and firing roman candles out of my ass. Getting to the bar was no easy task. I tried to push and scoot my way through the crowd that

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towered over me, like a mouse being stalked by predators in the tall grass. My wheelchair poked and prodded peoples’ shins, which made them noticeably angry… but when they glanced down and saw me, and my chair… “Oh, no worries man! How’s your night going? Yeah? Pretty crazy, huh? Have fun dude!” High fives all around. I was the man. Or was it just the chair I was in? Whatever. Over the next hour or two, several extremely friendly strangers approached me and bought me drinks, mostly whiskey and coke. About half of those drinks ended up in my lap. Moving around a crowded bar with one drink in your hand and another on the wheel takes skill, which I didn’t have. Not to mention my motor skills were impaired. I made my way to the dancefloor at some point. A girl sat on top of me and danced. I’ll leave it at that. The next morning, I woke up on my friend’s couch. I stood on my legs for the first time in almost 12 hours, and it felt incredible. I folded up the wheelchair, tossed it in the back of my car and drove home, thinking back to how ridiculous the night before had been. All those people I’d met, all those people who approached me and bought me drinks purely because I was in a wheelchair. No one ever buys me drinks when I’m not in a wheelchair. I had been a celebrity for one night, someone who was treated differently simply because I was different. I didn’t know how I felt about that. I guess my friends were right when they said I wouldn’t last three days. I did my best to prove them wrong, but I found that trading the life you’ve been living for the last 21 years in the blink of an eye is one of the hardest things you could ever do. I only lasted a single night in the wheelchair. Some people are in it for a lifetime. That’s something I have an indescribable amount of admiration for. Those people are stronger than I’ll ever be, and it took me one night in a wheelchair to realize that.

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LIFE AS A

MARRIED COLLEGE STUDENT WRITTEN BY CJ EILERS // @CJEILERS (ADDITIONAL REPORTING BY ALLISSA RICE) DESIGNED BY LU LAWRENCE // @LULAWRENCE1

GETTING MARRIED ISN’T SOMETHING MOST COLLEGE KIDS THINK ABOUT, AT LEAST NOT UNTIL THEY’VE SETTLED DOWN A BIT. BUT FOR THESE STUDENTS, MARRIAGE DIDN’T HAVE TO WAIT. COLLEGE FELT LIKE THE PERFECT TIME TO GET MARRIED. When people are asked what comes to mind when they hear the word college, a deluge of answers pours out: studying, cramming, cheap junk food, drinking, partying, cute girls and handsome guys, stress, sports, crappy professors, and on and on and on. One word you aren’t likely to find in that mix: marriage. In fact, that word is not on the mind of the majority of U.S. college students. Seven percent of all college undergrads under 25 years old are married in the U.S. Although dating and looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right can be considered an integral part of college, this number reflects a very small portion of the 15 million

undergraduate students in the country. Most students choose to wait to get married until they are more than 25 years old. Dr. Tera Jordan, an assistant professor in the Human Development and Family Sciences program at Iowa State, attributes this to something else you aren’t going to hear everyday: emerging adulthood. Emerging adulthood is recognized as a period that individuals are no longer seen as kids, but not necessarily as adults. They do not have the responsibilities working adults face in the real world. “This is a period of recognition, and time to explore more about yourself,” Jordan said.

38 “EVERYONE KNOWS YOU HAVE TO MAKE SACRIFICES IN MARRIAGE, AND SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO SPREAD YOUR WINGS AND GET TO KNOW YOURSELF BEFORE COMMITTING TO MARRIAGE” “Everyone knows you have to make sacrifices in marriage, and sometimes you need to spread your wings and get to know yourself before committing to marriage,” Jordan said. Monica and Arturo Castro are both Iowa State students. Monica is a junior in Child, Adult and Family Services. Arturo is a freshman in Mechanical Engineering. They’re both part of that tiny seven percent of young college students who are married. The two met while working at Faith, Hope and Charity in Storm Lake, working with children with special needs. They’ve been married since July 2012, and they say a huge part of their marriage was having their child. “Having a child brought us together as a family,” Monica said. “We realized that we truly committed to each other very early, why not take the next step if you’re truly going to be in each other’s future?” Jessica and Travis Imboden got engaged while in college, having been together for three years. Jessica, a recent graduate of Des Moines Area Community College, explains that she feels “lucky” to have found someone while still young. “We’ve been inseparable ever since we started dating and I wouldn’t, and couldn’t, ask for a better man to be by my side,” Jessica said. “We haven’t had any big, relationship-questioning arguments or fights in the three years that we’ve been together. He always hugs me and makes

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“These young adults travel around the world, work to be better people, and don’t form serious relationships necessarily.” Young adults today are marrying older than ever before. The U.S Census Bureau reports that the median age for first marriages is 28.2 for males and 26.1 for females. “What I see in college students is they work to develop their relationships, but not necessarily romantic ones,” Jordan said. “They want the experience of different relationships and finding themselves before developing a serious, long term relationship.” So instead of getting married, some young adults are taking their sweet time to enjoy themselves, and want everyone to know it. “23 Things to Do Instead of Getting Engaged Before You’re 23,” a blog post from a college student named Vanessa, went viral earlier this year. This witty and sarcastic blog post recommends alternatives to getting engaged before hitting 23, including making out with a total stranger, date two people at once and watch it crash and burn, devour an entire Nutella in one sitting, and hanging out naked in front of an open window. While these suggestions are ridiculous at best, it represents that period of no romanticstrings-attached that Jordan feels has becoming an increasingly defining factor of today’s college aged adults.

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39 me smile whenever I feel sad, or frustrated.” Multiple research conclusions claim that money can be an issue with young couples, something Jessica and Jordan thought as well. “Some research suggests that couples who marry before 25 will be less successful in their careers,” Jordan said. Working has not proven to be troublesome for them thus far. Jessica works a well paying job at DuPont Pioneer while Travis is in the Air Force. “I can imagine it’s harder getting jobs in the same city as your partner if you’re both right out of college, but this is true of any age though really,” Jessica said. “We already went to school to get degrees and we aren’t struggling by any means. We have no problems paying bills and car payments.” While Monica and Arturo both are still in school, working jobs and raising their son, they find it necessary to spend time together in any way they can. “It’s important for us to make time for each other,” Monica said. “Sometimes its something as simple as staying up late to watch movies.” However, Monica, who has already been through more college than her husband, understands that he needs to go out and have his fun as well. “He still wants to be a college student, to go out with friends and enjoy himself,” Monica said. “I got two years of college before getting married, so I have already experienced much of that.” The National Longitudinal Survey of Youth, conducted between 1997 to 2007, found that by age 25, 26 percent of couples are married, a noticeable increase over the initial seven percent. The increase in marriage also leads to another increase: divorce. Many of those couples will experience a divorce from their first marriage by the time they turn 30. Jordan agrees that these couples can have marital troubles along the way. “Generationally, it might not always be good, as you aren’t willing to make those sacrifices in marriage just yet,” Jordan said. Justyn and Bailey Lewis discussed those

sacrifices long before Justyn proposed to Bailey. “In the dating stage we talked about marriage a lot,” Justyn said. “We were both ready to make that jump, and with our faith and family support, we did." The couple met at Justyn’s cousin’s wedding in 2011. Bailey was a dental assistant, while Justyn was still finishing up school at Iowa State. Justyn proposed while still in school, knowing what his decision meant for both of them. “When we got married we knew there would be ups and downs,” Justyn said. We can't pinpoint what the issues are with the high divorce rates, but we do know marriage is when two people become one. When you have two separate people becoming one and living under one roof, there is a lot to learn about that other person.” Regardless of the research and the generally small fraction these couples make up of the total student population, most agree that marriage always has a chance. “Anytime you can go through life with a loving partner, there is a benefit,” Jordan said. For the Castro’s, despite all the busyness of their new lives, they they are a happy, loving family that just happens to still be in school. “When I started college, I didn't think I would get married so soon, but it just happens.” Monica said. While some students may not be ready to walk down the aisle, like Vanessa explains in her blog, these featured couples and their unique stories show that others are indeed prepared and already happily hitched. For the rest of us, we’ll just have to keep on waiting until the time is right.

“SOME RESEARCH SUGGESTS THAT COUPLES WHO MARRY BEFORE 25 WILL BE LESS SUCCESSFUL IN THEIR CAREERS”

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