Up Portland December 2018

DEC 2018

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Learn more about supplementation and the team who guides you on episode 8 of Living Life with Lynda.

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By Randy Dankievitch — TV Critic / TVOvermind

The Best (and Worst) Games of 2018 With the game industry on a cusp of generational turnover, 2018 was a fascinating year for gaming: even though it may be remembered as the Year of Fortnite in the history books, it was a big year for a number of reasons: Sony delivered not one, but two wildly successful first party games; Rockstar released Red Dead Redemption 2 and made $783 million in one weekend; and a number of games made the phrase “DLC” an exciting proposition for the first time in ages, just to name a few developments. With the dust finally settling, here are the best (and worst) games I’ve played in 2018: God of War (Playstation 4) – After God of War 3’s release in 2010, it felt like Kratos’s time as a signature character on Playstation consoles had come an end; with his story told (and just about every Greek deity lying dead in his wake), and only a couple pitiful PSP and Vita spinoffs under his belt, the future was unclear. After the PS4 launched in November 2013 and there was still no word of a new God of War, it really seemed his time was over... even in 2016, after showing off the first footage of a new God of War game set in the world of Norse mythology, it seemed Kratos was a character best left in the past.

And yet, God of War turned out to be one of the best games of the current generation when it released this past Spring; a mind-blowing meld of precise combat, powerful storytelling, and some of the most beautiful world design ever seen in a video game. Following a Kratos still haunted by his past, God of War tells the story of Kratos and his son as they grieve a great loss, a poignant, riveting tale of regret, hope, and family.

Spider-Man (Playstation 4) – Sony’s other signature release of 2018 saw Insomniac Games take on the long-dormant Spider-Man license, a series left for dead after a handful of underwhelming movie adaptations, mobile games and ambitious-but-sloppy attempts at one-off Spidey games. What’s most impressive about Spider-Man – besides the absolutely fantastic web-slinging controls – is just how perfectly this game captures the blend of optimism, humour, and action that only a few Spider-Man comics and films have mastered (by the way; go see Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse this month, and thank me later). Led by a surprisingly well-crafted story, and elevated by the dedication to Spider-Man trivia and lore only the nerdiest fans will appreciate, Spider-Man is one of 2018’s pleasant surprises, a story that finds its own Peter Parker to tell a story about; one different enough from his film and comic counterparts to feel worthy of its place in the character’s historical canon. Despite being a bit repetitive, SpiderMan easily earns its place in the upper echelon of 2018 releases.

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Fallout 76 (Playstation 4, Xbox One, PC) – To put it simply, I don’t know what the hell Bethesda was thinking selling this game for $60 – or even releasing it at all. Refashioning Fallout 4’s buggy, burdened game engine into a multiplayer experience was actually a really good idea; however, whatever Fallout 76 ultimately released as cannot be the vision they had for what a multiplayer Fallout game should be. An absolute abomination of glitches are not even the game’s biggest problems: completely lacking in tangible narrative, and missing Please Continue On The Next Page

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By Randy Dankievitch — Continued From Page Three many of the signature systems and features that make Fallout what it is are gone, replaced by pointless quest lines taking place in a massive (and massively empty) world lacking in any sort of coherent purpose. There’s really no reason to play this game, unless you like managing inventories to no real satisfying end: without the personality and world building Fallout is known for, Fallout 76 fails miserably to justify its own existence.

Red Dead Redemption 2 (Playstation 4, Xbox One) – Red Dead Redemption 2 is a game that fights against its own greatness in a number of frustrating ways: from the external debates it caused around labour practices in the industry, to the cumbersome controls and slow pacing, so much of RDR 2 feels almost engineered to detract from its true accomplishment: creating one of the most immersive worlds I’ve ever explored, a fantasy the closest thing to an episode of Deadwood a video game could ever create (which I guess actually makes it like an episode of Westworld? But I digress...).

Brutal, dirty, callous, and occasionally frustrating as all hell, Rockstar Games’ latest technical showcase is the kind of game you can lose hundreds of hours in, role playing a dirty scoundrel, an honourable cowboy, or a settler whose breath is taken away every time the sun breaks against the northwestern plains, or southern marshes.

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Dead Cells (PC, Playstation 4, Nintendo Switch, Xbox One) – Do you like frenetic combat?

More specifically, do you like combat so fast and furious you’re basically guaranteed to die within a half hour of starting a game? If you’ve ever wished for a game with the punishing learning curve of Dark Souls, but with the speedy combat of Ninja Gaiden and weapon variety of Diablo, I cannot recommend Dead Cells enough.

Dripping with equally gorgeous level design and combat mechanics, Dead Cells is the best fast-paced game to come out in 2018, a rogue-like where death is never but a step away, but the road to dying is always an absolute blast. In a year where a lot of good-but-not-great independently developed titles were released, Dead Cells stands on its own as a strong, consistently awesome sidescrolling action title.

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate (Nintendo Switch) – finally releasing on Nintendo Switch on December 7th, Super Smash Bros. Ultimate is the definitive act of fan service I’ve ever seen in a video game.

Launching with 74 iconic video game characters (from Mario and Sonic, to Solid Snake and Simon Belfont), over 100 stages, and a massive single-player campaign, SSBU is the kind of game dreams are made of. Adopting the fast combat of Smash Bros. 4 with the meticulous technicality of Super Smash Bros.

Melee, SSB Ultimate lets friends live out their wildest video game fantasies: Princess Peach throwing Pac-Man off a mountain, Pikachu kicking Star Fox through Yoshi’s Island, Wario and Kirby teaming up to put a beat down on Mega Man and the Wii Fit Trainer; for this life-long gamer, Super Smash Bros Ultimate is the realisation of a video game dream.

Honourable Mentions need to go out to: Hitman 2, Celeste, Forza Horizon 4, Into the Breach and Return of the Obra Dinn

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Hackin’ The Net

requested. And that means no matter how cheap that sweeper or iron are on sale! Leave that labour tool for another day.

OK, so what TO get? Well, unless you know what kinda computer or operating system (OS) your intended recipient has, we’d steer clear of actually buying a computer, laptop or tablet.

Instead, get creative and make a “let’s go shopping gift certificate” for your intended and slip that in a cute card from Old Port Card Shop or a box of candy to give on the day. Include a lunch or coffee and then go with your recipient to “shop”. That way they 100% get what they are after and you get to spend some friends or family

By Ted Fleischaker / Publisher It’s time to think outside of the boxes... the Christmas and Chanukah boxes, that is. And while thinking, always use every bit of your creativity, for while I’m glad to help with some holiday gift suggestions, there are a lot of folks with a lot of fun hobbies and even needs, whom I do not know, but who may well be on your gift list.

Also, I wanna say at the outset that not everyone needs or wants a high-ticket or high-tech gift, so let common sense be your guide when you shop electronics, as well as anything else. And read on to learn which I’ll bet is a new slang word!

Of course, maybe that special someone on your list needs a new iMac or Dell or laptop and if that works for your budget, go all out. Just remember that like shoes, a jacket, ski pants or anything else, what you give has to fit to be of any use. In other words, do not get a shiny new MacBook Air for someone who loves and cannot be parted from their p.c. Dell Chromebook, Lenovo or HP. If they are familiar with one system (and likely own programmes to make it work for them) there’s close to a 0% chance you will get them to switch. It’s the same both ways: Never try and get a p.c. user to “go Mac” or the other way round. It just won’t happen --- and Christmas morning or the 5th night of Chanukah are both really poor times to try to sway opinion. Guess that’s my reminder that whatever you purchase for a gift --- large or small --- be sure before you buy to find out what the return or exchange options are, how long they are in effect and what type receipt or other proof your recipient will need to change out stuff that just does not “fit.” If the place you shop (on the Peninsula, at the mall or online) does not offer reasonable policies on returns or exchanges (for cash or credit --- find that out, too) I’d advise shopping elsewhere.

OK, so we got the “big stuff” over. Second, let’s remember that some years the smallest gift can be the best one in your whole stocking, by your menorah or under your tree. Big bucks are not always necessary. What’s that old saw about “it’s the thought that counts?”

Check my experience. Ten or more years ago, someone knowing my love of Winter came up with a four-inch plastic “snowman” which ran off my computer’s extra USB port and glowed different colours with an internal LED. It had a cute pink scarf, a hat and an orange plastic “carrot” nose. I think they sold for like $4 or $5. I cannot name a single other gift I got that year, but I can see my “snowman” grinning at me every day from its spot by my monitor, because it’s still there and it still works. The moral: Big bucks does not always mean big smiles or success with a gift.

Next, consider who you are buying for. No, not just “Grandpa Dave” or “Aunt Lucille” but what the person’s technological needs or wants might be. A lot of 82-year-old Grandma Blanches are tech wizards, while plenty of 54-year-old Uncle Kurts are dumb as a sack of hammer heads when it comes to anything with electronics. One would love a HomePod or Alexa or Mac Mini, while the other might as well get a lump of coal as they’d not have a clue what to do with those electronic doo-dads. And do not tell me you are “free to help” them learn what to do. If you think that, I’m here to bet that by Valentine’s Day you will be worn out as the advice guru and wishing you’d never bought that techie gift for Uncle Doug --- the guy happy with his flip phone.

Along that same line, think when you shop. My friend Keith always gets a laugh out of the year his mom wanted a dress, but received a brand new GE Vacuum cleaner from his dad on Christmas morning. What happened? Keith says, “She took it back and bought a beautiful tweed suit at Bycks that she wore for years.”

Moral: no household appliances for holiday gifts, unless specifically agreed or

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time along the way. It’s win-win. It also means you can shop local, which is also a plus as if you have problems with a gift item you not only can see a shop’s manager, but you can talk face-to-face with the folks who own the store.

For less costly gifts (but still check the return or exchange privileges and rules) think about those “silly little things” you or your recipient might find useful: a 2nd charger for a phone... or a pack of glass phone covers so they don’t run around with one that’s broken (or worse yet, break an unprotected screen).

There are also great under $15 Bluetooth speakers out there these days, including one for under $10 we got at Ocean State Job Lots that’s water resistant for the shower. Nothing like streaming Classic FM while streaming water on one’s toes!

There are myriad hook-up cables, toner and ink cartridges, headphones and more. Just do not plan on going to the gas station Christmas morning for that last-minute tech gift, as while some sell those items, in most cases they lack the correct approval (read the box) for high-tech device compatibility. Buy one of those uncertified chargers or cables and plug it in. If you are lucky, nothing will happen and it won’t work. If you are not, it could blow out your or your recipient’s device or even cause a fire. Don’t do it!

Still nothing that hits home with you? How about a subscription? Everything from The Washington Post and Portland Press Herald to Netflix have e-subscriptions these days. Instead of something they can hold in their hand and might never use, buy your recipient their newspaper online or their fave video or music streaming service. Everyone from Apple Music to Hulu are standing by to help. And the recipient will remember your kindness every time they sit down to read on their iPad or watch a movie on their computer or smart TV. Also in the tech arena are some “family” or “friends” group gift opportunities.

Say Gary wants a new iPad, but nobody has a budget to allow one. What if his three brothers and sisters each pitch in a third to buy the iPad and mark it from all of them?

If there’s a cousin or grandkid, she or he could buy Gary a case or an Apple Music subscription or even a screen cover, iTunes gift card, or the extended warranty for his new device, then everyone “contributing” can sign the card and present the gift on Chanukah or Christmas.

What about smaller items and those one can buy last-minute? There’s not a single household we know of that doesn’t need batteries for everything from remotes to flashlights. Pop into the drugstore, Reny’s, Ocean State, Big Lots or their ilk and buy a pack of AA or AAA or even C or grade D batteries and toss it in a stocking. Same with USB or other charging cables. And don’t forget fun little electronic gifts. We love the timers and thermometers cooks need and use, which I find in especially good supply at places like Now You’re Cooking on Front Street in Bath. And while I have the latest, greatest phone, I still cling to my old school alarm clock. They sell the digital and dial kinds at every place from the drugstore and shops I mentioned above to LL Bean’s neat home store in Freeport, which carries several updated versions of the Big Ben alarm clocks

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Grandpa Dave used to wind. They now run on batteries and can be plugged in, but the idea’s the same.

Finally, I need to touch on one of my least-favourite topics: Gift cards. My advice on them shows up in this space every year without changes: Don’t! They look like the “perfect” answer. Great options. Plenty of choice for the recipient.

Almost any imaginable amount.

But sadly, right after the first of the year is the time when many of those barelyhanging-on stores we keep hearing about turn out the lights. And usually the first thing they do is quit honouring any still-out-there gift cards. I had ones from Borders, hh gregg and Circuit City, just to name three, in my drawer when those old retailers called it quits. And with places like Radio Shack, Sears, Penney’s and many other big names either shuttering stores or reportedly on the brink, I feel a gift card is a really limiting option. Imagine if your child had been given a Toys R Us one last year? Get my drift?

If you are tempted to give a gift card anyway, try an Apple gift card or iTunes one. Or a Visa or Master Card or American Express gift card that can be used at any number of places. Just remember if you do give a gift card to encourage the recipient not to hold it until it either loses value (as many do if unused after so many months) or the card’s issuer goes belly up. With the failure rate of electronics firms pretty high, this is even more true if your plans are to give a card your recipient can redeem for that computer or other big ticket electronic gadget they want.

So there you have it. Some shopping ideas for Christmas and Chanukah 2018.

Shop widely and wisely and remember that many “sales” really aren’t that good of deals as they are a way for merchants to close out last year’s phones, tablets or computers. Try, for instance, and get a new iPad Pro on one of those “deals” and you’ll see what I mean. There are plenty of perks if you buy last year’s, but this year’s new ones, not so much. Shop with your eyes open wide and hang on to those receipts in case exchanges or returns are needed in January. And that new word along with my advice: above all, hope the merchant you chose to buy from is still in business when the new year dawns and has not gone mechula, which is Yiddish meaning ‘spoiled, deteriorated, bankrupt or ruined’.

spoNsored by Murray, pluMb & Murray aTTorNeys aT law

Christmas with

Kennerley Featuring

soloist Ashley Emerson, the festive sounds of the Kotzschmar Brass and the beautiful voices of the ChoralArt Singers – with prelude music provided by the Parish Ringers Playing holiday classics from traditional carols to modern favorites

Tuesday • 7:30 pm

December 18

Merrill audiToriuM reserved seaTiNG •

TickeTs available aT www.porTTix.com James Kennerley is known for his vibrant socks,

so it’s only fitting that he and the Friends of the Kotzschmar Organ will be collecting new socks in adult sizes (and all colors!) for donation to Preble Street.

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Beyond The Forecast

By Jack Sillin / Weatherman & Meterology Student Hello everyone!

Last year around this time I devoted part of my column here to a look at subseasonal forecasting, the weird world that lies between daily weather forecasts (i.e. it’s going to rain tomorrow) and seasonal forecasts (what we did last month, generally warmer/cooler weather expected this Winter season). Subseasonal forecasting is particularly interesting because it’s a realm where the boundaries can always be pushed, and the science is still fairly new. With that in mind, remember not to take these thoughts too literally. I’ll outline what I expect to see weather-wise from the month of December, but the real goal here is to understand some of the processes that drive subseasonal weather patterns. With that in mind, let’s dig in!

You probably don’t need me to know that the pattern we have now, as I write this on the final day November, has been one with cold and stormy weather.

We’ve had well above average snow and bitter cold temps, along with plenty of ice cold rain that fell as snow just inland. So will the pattern keep up?

The short answer is probably not, at least entirely. It’s hard to get any one pattern to lock into place for a prolonged period of time, especially early in the season when the atmosphere is still settling into “Winter mode”. You’ll already see signs of this on December 2nd (which is after I’m writing this, but before you’re reading it) when a storm system will track to our west, putting us on the warm side with rain and mild temps.

I see December as a conglomeration of shorter “mini patterns” that alternate between a few days of warm and a few days of cold, likely with storms in between.

Note that this lines up pretty well with the expectations for the overall Winter season, with lots of storminess (above average precip) but questionable temps (some of that precip will fall as rain).

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The first few days of December (the 1st thru the 3rd) will feature warm weather with rainy conditions. That’s still in the “short range” timeframe. Colder weather will arrive the 4th, with our first Winter storm threat on the 5th. By the time you’re reading this, you’ll know the outcome of that storm threat, but from my perspective on 30 November, it looks like it may slide just too far SE to give us a blockbuster hit. Colder air will likely filter in behind that storm.

That cooler air will set up another storm threat centered in the 8th and 9th timeframe, which has the potential to bring significant Winter weather. The cooler/ stormier forecast for early December (excepting the first few days) is largely based on traditional short-medium range forecasting techniques.

Following the 8th and 9th storm threat, a substantial warming trend appears likely. There are several pattern signals that support this, including trends in the NW Pacific, as well as trends with tropical convection (thunderstorm activity).

So how are weather patterns on the other side of the world (literally!) going to conspire to end our wintry run?

The first culprit is a phenomenon known as the Madden Julian Oscillation (MJO for short). The MJO tracks where thunderstorm activity in the tropics is more active than usual. Enhanced areas of tropical thunderstorms send higher amounts of heat into the upper atmosphere, which in turn influences the jet stream. If we know where there are extra thunderstorms, we can figure out where there will be extra heat, and thus we can make predictions about the jet stream accordingly.

Taking a look at the MJO graphic below, you can see areas of enhanced rising motion (thunderstorm activity) in the phase 3/4 regions for early December, with a shift towards phase 6 by the 12th/13th. The right hand side of the graphic shows two sets of maps for each phase. The left hand maps show what temperatures are usually like across the US during a given MJO phase. The right hand maps show how much of those temperature patterns the MJO is actually responsible for, compared to how much are due just to random chance. Cooler colours on the significance maps correspond to a higher MJO influence (i.e. very little of what you see on the temp maps is due just to random chance).

Note that phase three hints at cooler weather, but over the Northeast, the MJO has very little influence on temps, which means we’ll end up colder and stormier in early December due to other influences on the pattern. However, as we shift towards phase 6, the MJO has a much stronger influence on our weather, pointing us in the direction of warmth.

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The second graphic I’ve included on the next page looks at the overall pattern across the hemisphere 13th December, showing how factors including the MJO, as well as other patterns, will actually bring us warm temps. The MJO will combine with other changes ongoing in the North Pacific to result in a strong zonally oriented (east-west instead of north-south) jet stream from Asia straight to the West Coast. This jet will take air that is warm from sitting over warm waters in the Pacific and push it inland across the North American continent. The resulting effect will be one where cold

into at least the first half of January. We’ll see how the forecast does, but in the meantime, get to the slopes early in the month if you can before November’s epic powder is washed away!

-Jack

Jack’s Weather Terms AAM - Atmospheric Angular Momentum. AAM is a concept I danced around in the column this month when discussing the North Pacific jet stream. AAM measures how much angular momentum there is in the jet stream. Higher AAM values indicate faster moving winds in the jet stream that are primarily moving from east to west (a zonal jet).

Thus higher AAM values indicate a stronger zonal jet, while lower AAM values indicate a weaker (slower) and wavier jet stream. The changes in the North Pacific that support mid month warmth show up in AAM forecasts, with a sharp rise in AAM expected during that time.

air is locked away in the Arctic, so even if storms tracked to our south (putting us on the cold side), there wouldn’t be any cold air to tap.

Additionally, changes in the North Atlantic mean that ridging is favoured over the East during this time, with a storm track to the west over the Central U.S. Therefore, we’ll have two factors pointing us towards warmth: the storm track to our west, and the lack of cold air available across the continent. But will it last?

Blocking - If you’re looking for big snowstorms here in Maine, you want high latitude blocking, where ridges of high pressure act to “block” the eastward progression of the jet stream, forcing it to turn poleward. This pushes warm air towards the poles, which then dislodges cold air that must move south somewhere else. Additionally, blocking slows the jet stream, and any storms that might be moving along with it. Thus blocking promotes colder temperatures and slower moving storms --- the perfect recipe for big snow!

Probably not. Eventually, the strong jet over the Pacific will promote the development of strong storms in the Gulf of Alaska. This is because upward motion is favoured in the left exit regions of upper level jets, something you’ll recognise from my discussions of winter storms. As storms develop in the Gulf of Alaska, warm air is transported north on their eastern side. That warm air ends up over Western North America. As a result, cold air in Northwest Canada gets dislodged and pushed south over Central/Eastern North America, which will eventually push us back towards colder and stormier weather.

Finally, the MJO can be thought of as a wave, and like most waves unless there are special circumstances, it propagates forward with a reasonably predictable speed. Thus after sitting in phase 6 mid-month, it will eventually move east into phase 8/1 likely by late month. You’ll notice from looking at the MJO graphic that phase 8/1 correlates well with colder weather here in the Northeast, which is usually accompanied by some Winter storms.

Combine the MJO and jet stream discussions above with some experimental long range forecasting techniques I’ll perhaps explain another day, and I arrive at the following general outline for December.

Dec 1-3: Warm/rain Dec 4-10: Colder with storm threats the 5th and 8th/9th.

Dec 11-27: Much warmer, rain chances. Storm signals arrive 12/15 and 12/22.

Dec 27-31: Change back to colder/stormier. Watching potential big storms 12/28 and 12/30.

The cold/stormy pattern that sets up at the end of December is likely to extend

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Layne’s Wine Time

Layne V. Witherell / Up Portland Wine Critic

YEAR IN REVIEW: Best wines and dishes of 2018 “Wine snobs will never yield the point, but food --- if you get it just right with the wine --- is the great leveler”. Red Wine with Fish by David Rosengarten and Joshua Wesson is a glorious, but out-of-print masterpiece written in 1985 --some 15 years before Anthony Bourdain’s groundbreaking book Kitchen Confidential. Back in the day, there were no “foodies”, no Instagram pictures, just two guys from New York City discovering what it was like to live like a European in the land of the green bean casserole. I grew up in a family where the corkscrew was unearthed every year to have with our bottle of Blue Nun. We’ve come a long way, baby.

Our 2018 faves represent dishes paired with wines from either home or in local restaurants in our fair city of Portland. If it’s a fit, lets replace the word “foodie” with “culinary adventurer”. The wines should be available locally. Just ask.

SMOKED SALMON AND MANCHEGO CHEESE APPETIZER AT HOME Domaine Sainte Remy Pinot Noir, 2016, Alsace, $20.99 bottle retail. Yeah, I have drunk better pinot noir in 2018, but this wine exists courtesy of global warming.

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The equivalent from the hallowed vineyards of Burgundy will set you back - way back - in money. Alsace has always produced steely whites. This is a game bird meets wild mushroom style pinot that excites the senses. A total bargain. Be on the lookout for lighter styled delicious Pinot Noir like this from Alsace and Germany.

RIB EYE DINNER AT HOME SUNDAY NITE BORDEAUX. The Wine Enthusiast Magazine just named their #1 2018 pick Chateau Lafite Rothschild, 2015, $700 bottle retail. “Drink from 2027, but that would be too soon”. For Bordeaux you need either unrivaled patience, a decanter, an aerator, or both, and an hour or so. We are so impatient!

Our pick of the year for the money was Chateau Roudier, Montagne St. Emilion, 2014, $15 bottle retail. If you choose to dig a bit deeper into your wallet there are, among many others, Chateau Grand Puy Ducasse, 2015, Pauillac, (5th growth), $35-$40 bottle. This wine announces to you through multi-layers of complexity why you gleefully parted with your money. A wine grown and crafted for food.

You can scurry about and purchase lovely 2014’s, 2015’s and 2016’s vintage Bordeaux for $20 to $40 a bottle retail. Just go for it. The rib eye will love you for it as well.

ROMA CAFÉ: ANCIENT ROMAN WINE DINNER: November 1st Whew, if the braised rabbit with boar shoulder served over fresh pasta paired with Terredora Aglianico (a kick ass red from Campagnia) doesn’t make you think of that night dining in Rome, then nothing will. The city of Pompeii went bye, bye in 79 A.D. and it wasn’t until the 1940’s that the Mastroberardino family resurrected the long-forgotten grapes. Their entire range of the grapes of the ancient Romans encompasses Fiano di Avellino, Falanghina and the Roman mouthwatering classic Greco di Tufo. Toga optional.

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CENTRAL PROVISIONS: Foie Gras Custard What better way to enter the realm of the far out in dining than a bottle of Vina Gravonia Reserve Blanco, 2005, by R. Lopez de Heredia, Rioja, $60 bottle. As the wine slightly warms it tastes of lanolin filtered through the finest Irish butter. A Magical combo.

The staff had to crawl around in the basement to locate the bottle (probably the owner’s cache), but they did give me an extra-large portion of Foie Gras custard, it being my birthday and all. In a world where you mostly stick your face in your phone for instant gratification, the R. Lopez de Heredia winery practices patience: old-style wine-making, combined with long bottle age before release.

THE YEAR OF THE OYSTER This was their year, because we love them. Unconditionally. Also, you cannot write about 2018 without including a rose. It also provides a perfect segue.

Pascal Jolivet Sancerre Rose, 2017, $20 bottle retail. Refreshingly ethereal with the wine’s electrical energy of minerals to accompany the oyster.

Sancerre, that flinty Sauvignon Blanc from the Loire Valley in France, is getting blisteringly pricey. This is an ideal way to combine the two.

EMILISTA Get your Greek on with their Mediterranean octopus starter (drizzled with olive oil, lemon juice and oregano).

Sadly, we are still stuck in Malbec land with an occasional foray into the Primitivo grape, so Chris Ziagos from RSVP brought me up to date about the mysterious world of long-lost Mediterranean grapes. Domaine Sigalas Assyrtiko (75%) and Athiri (25%) are a foray into the island of Santorini that for $20 retail will “put you in a taverna with a view of the Aegean”.

From all the souls at Spirits Alive at Eastern Cemetery

Please plan to join us for our 2019 Winter Lecture Series: • Saturday, January 26 - Digging Up The War of 1812 with Herb Adams • Saturday, February 23 - An Employment for the Fingers: The Hair Work Craze of the Nineteenth Century with Elizabeth DeWolf.

• Saturday, March 30 - The 1849 Augustus King Riots on Munjoy Hill with Tim Gillis

Thank you for all your support in 2018! www.spiritsalive.org

sa@spiritsalive.org

So, you think the Pompeiians had it rough? The Santorinians (I guess they were called that in 1,800 B.C.), had the top of their volcano blow up leaving them with a virtual moonscape to grow grapes. Today, we worship those volcanic ZIP Codes. The wine has the lemony aromas of the dish with the richness to speak to the octopus.

RABBIT SAUSAGE WITH FENNEL FROM OTHERSIDE DELI You can also do a sauté of wild mushrooms (make sure you have a relative who is a certified mycologist with you). Ceppaiolo Rosso del Pu, Umbria, 2015, $30 retail. There have been lots of prehistoric cave paintings discovered recently and the Pu (excuse me, if I get personal) reminds me of the wine our forebears would have drunk as they gleefully put ochre on their cave walls and themselves.

The vineyard consists of four rows of ancient vines; no Napa wine train here!

I tend to shy away from uber nervy, no Sulphur, biodynamic, high profit margin for all, kinds of trendy little things, but this wine is different. It is rare and authentic.

PIZZA TO GO: YOUR FAVOURITE STYLE AND PLACE After a hard day’s work nothing is better than a piping hot, out of the oven slice. You always need to keep on hand an emergency bottle of pizza-friendly wine. Cline Old Vine Zinfandel, Lodi, California $10 retail or Bogle Old Vine Zinfandel, California $10 retail (Wine Enthusiast #1 value wine of the year).

Chewy, juicy dry plums and raspberries. This is the classic of “food-if you get it just right with the wine- is the great leveler”.

(EDITORS NOTE: Layne is a professional in the wine business with over 30 years of experience. He can be reached at lvwitherell@gnail.com for talks and consulting. His website is http://winemaniacs.wordpress.com/.)

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Kotzschmar Organ; New Organist Will Tr The pipe organ has been called “king of instruments,” and if that be the case, Portland is amongst royalty as our Kotzschmar Organ is not only one of the nation’s finest, but is one of only two municipal organs in the country. It’s also going to be home once again to this month’s annual holiday concert --- the first under new municipal organist James Kennerley --- Tuesday evening, the 18th of December at 7.30.

Kennerley told Up Portland that he is excitedly preparing for his first Christmas concert at Merrill Auditorium. “Playing the Kotzschmar organ is always such a delight and an adventure. This organ is such an impressive instrument and I’m thrilled to be a part of this beloved holiday tradition with music - it is not to be missed.”

The programme will include a variety of holiday classics, from traditional carols to modern favourites. Kennerley will perform for the first time his new transcription of the traditional Christmas ballet, Tchaikovsky’s The Nutcracker. Metropolitan Opera star soprano and Maine native, Ashley Emerson, will sing Kennerley’s arrangements of O Holy Night and a number of other pieces arranged especially for this concert.

The ChoralArt Singers will lend their dulcet voices to carols old and new - including favourites to sing along to - and will give the first performance of Kennerley’s Carol of the Bells, composed earlier this year.

Also included in the programme will be Anthony DiLorenzo’s ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas, a witty musical setting with narration of that famous story performed by the Kotzschmar Festival Brass & Percussion ensemble; a Baroque Photo By Jill Baker

Maine Jewish Museum December Artist Talks

An Artist Follows Her Muse Carol Sloane Sunday, December 9th, 2pm - 4pm

“How the challenge to capture my walking experiences onto a two dimensional surface led me to the scroll. And how the scroll study fed the desire to make a labyrinth. And how that led to the discovery of the panorama. And where it went from there.”

Artist Talk with Neal Beckerman Sunday, December 16th, 2pm - 4pm

“When I am at work I think of myself as a ringmaster of accidents, bringing in disparate elements which I try to reconcile. Some of the resulting images have a kinship with Asian ink paintings such as Sesshu’s Long Scroll, which was a childhood influence. They depict states of mind alternating with views of nature.”

267 Congress Street, Portland, ME 04101 (207) 773-2339

Monday - Friday 10am-4pm + Sundays 1pm - 5pm or by appointment mainejewishmuseum.org

Nancy Davidson, Curator in Residence

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ruly “Sock It To Portland” 18th December!

Christmas with music from Venice and Germany; and Kennerley performing an improvisation on seasonal melodies selected by the audience.

And the evening will have Portland’s audience covered literally from head to toe as Kennerley is known for his flamboyant and colourful socks when he plays the organ.

That is our way to say that the Friends of the Kotzschmar Organ will use the event as an opportunity to have a sock drive to collect new socks for those in need within the community.

Dan D’Ippolito, community engagement director of Preble Street, a human service agency which works with people experiencing problems with homelessness, housing, hunger and poverty, noted, “Socks are the most requested garment at Preble Street and shelters nationwide,” so concert-goers are asked to bring a pair (or three or six) of new socks to Merrill Auditorium on the night of the concert for donation.

Along with the music from the various soloists and the Kotzschmar Organ beginning at 7.30, concert-goers are encouraged to come early to enjoy a 7 p.m. “prelude” with music by The Parish Ringers hand bell choir.

Tickets for the whole holiday event are available online from at PortTIX (www. porttix.com), over the phone at 207/842.0800 and in person at the Merrill Auditorium Box Office, open Mondays thru Saturdays from noon to 6 p.m.

This event is part of Portland’s annual arts season and is sponsored by The Friends of the Kotzschmar Organ, founded in 1981 as a non-profit organisation which supports the instrument. Each year they present 16-18 concerts, engaging renowned organists and guest artists from around the world. The group is also responsible for the care and maintenance of the organ and provides funds to produce and promote concerts, maintain, repair and enhance it, sponsor lectures and organ demonstrations and tours. To find out more, visit www.foko.org

Be Sure To Tell Them You Saw Their Ad In Up Portland!

HINGS S I N R FU HOME S & GIFT 15 MIDDLE ST. PORTLAND, ME WWW.LEMONZESTHOME.COM @LEMONZESTHOME

Friends don't let friends shop at chain stores!

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Food For Thought...

Several topics this month, so let’s get right to them...

---The more I write this column, the more I find myself saying that I pass this or that restaurant over and over and never find the time to stop by and give it a try.

Sometimes, such as with Forage Market, which recently branched into Portland from Lewiston, it’s because their hours and mine don’t mesh well, though if the website is to be believed they are now open Mondays and Tuesdays, which they weren’t originally.

But in the case of Sea Dog Brewing Company’s restaurant near the Maine Mall at 125 Western Avenue in SoPo, my non-visiting was simply a case of wrong place and wrong time. That was until the last few days, when I found myself finishing an errand at the Mall about 12.30 p.m., with 90 minutes to squeeze in lunch before I had another stop in SoPo. Quickly thinking, we decided that Sea Dog merited a stop for lunch... and as the expression goes, we are glad we did.

The place has smiling, friendly staffers, a perfect size menu, and the food is good. Add in prompt service and we got in and out in plenty of time to make that next stop at two. Oh, and when all was said and done, even with a 20% trip for the great service, we escaped with a lunch bill of right around $40 for two.

But before you go “wow, that’s a bit much,” we should say we didn’t order just a burger (though they sounded good on the menu and looked good at the next table). Nope. we went for a couple of the unique items on the Sea Dog menu: a Pork Jaeger Schnitzel (Menu says: Breaded and pan-fried pork cutlet over mashed potatoes with a brown Jaeger and mushroom sauce, served with sauteed Swiss chard, $16) and a Pickle Fried Chicken Sandwich (Pickle brined fried chicken with spicy aioli, pickles and bibb lettuce, $12).

The Jaeger Schnitzel @ Sea Dog Both items were not only unique, but represented great value for money. The Schnitzel was almost as true to the German style I got served as a child, not only by family (some of whom were German before they became American via Ellis Island) but at places like New York’s long-gone Blue Ribbon and Chicago’s Berghoff. The only thing missing was the egg and anchovy on top, which would have made this into Schnitzel a la Holstein --- my old stand-by at Berghoff for many a year.

The other change was this was a pork, rather than veal, cutlet, but never mind... it was tender, delicious and the Jaeger sauce was a super good touch. I will confess I am not a chard fan, so our smiling server offered asparagus as an alternative, which I happily accepted.

Also unique was the Pickle Fried Chicken, which had a neat texture, a good look and an even better flavour. It was not only proclaimed wonderful but was cited, even before we hit the door, with a reason to come back to Sea Dog early and often. It also came with a side of tater tots, which got the restaurant extra points!

We do know that Sea Dog makes beer... and good local beer at that, but this being a weekday lunch and that looming appointment at two, we skipped that part of the menu... though there’s another reason to quit driving by and go in more often. Also, add the decor which we found to be fun eclectic. Posters showed everything from the Portland Head Light on down, but each had the Sea Dog from the brewery’s logo included. Cute, clever and fun marketing, but while we saw shirts and wearables for sale, we sadly didn’t spot any of the posters, which is a shame, unless we missed them.

So what’s to say about Sea Dog? Only that they have locations all over the area (and two in Florida for your snowbirds) and that we found it fun, great eats and the pricing more than fair. Call that our way to say we will be back sooner, not later! For more info: www.seadogbrewing.com

Sea Dog’s Pickle Fried Chicken Sandwich Page 14

---Probably the only questions I get asked more than what I am going to get as holiday gifts for friends this time of year is “What did you do for Thanksgiving?” and “What do you plan to cook for Christmas?” Well, the answer to both questions is the same: I took a day away from the stove for Thanksgiving (though I did turkey the next night so I’d have leftovers, just like all my friends) but for the holidays Harraseeket Inn in Freeport is where, for the past several years we have

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gone for both holidays and found it to be little short of wonderful.

I will mention at the outset that their special holiday meals are not cheap, but neither is the all-you-want Potts Harbour Lobster and Prime Rib on the buffet.

They are accompanied by myriad other items --- from scallops to house-made wonderful French Onion Soup. Add in all manner of entrees (duck and turkey and Halibut come to mind immediately) and a groaning dessert table, and the whole meal is worth the $80 they charge for it.

But reservations are a real must here. The staff were set to welcome 1,200 for Thanksgiving, and I’d be willing to bet they all showed up, just from the crowd there with us at 1.30. Christmas, while not quite as packed, was looking busy when we last checked. The phone is 207/865.9377. Do keep in mind that Harraseeket uses both their Casco Bay Ballroom and their Maine Harvest Dining Room for twin buffets, so while 1,200 sounds like a mob, it’s not the madhouse one would expect... plus it’s spread out thruout the day, so a meal can be a family, leisurely experience.

So what do we recommend? If it is too late for you for this month’s Christmas event, then plan on Easter Sunday (the next big holiday buffet) or go to Harraseeket on a regular Sunday for their weekly lobster brunch ($49.95). Though there is less choice, what’s there is wonderful and delicious... plus what can possibly go wrong when you have a plate of lobsters staring right at you?

---Finally this month, we were sad to see the door close for the final time just before Thanksgiving at Commercial Street’s Rosemont Market. Never fear, they are alive and well on Munjoy Hill, Brighton Avenue, Pine Street and elsewhere (with a new location coming in Falmouth) but for we downtowners who loved to walk by for a sandwich, a loaf of their bread or some fruit or flowers, and to just watch the traffic and ferries come and go, an era has ended.

Owner John Naylor has had a long association with Commercial Street, having

Harraseeket’s Thanksgiving Carving Station operated the long-lost and lamented Portland Green Grocer down there in the past. We hear tell a cost increase for his space on Commercial Street was the telling factor in the decision to close, but regardless of the why’s and where’s, Rosemont’s Commercial Street location is already missed by those of us who live in the Old Port area. It somehow just won’t be the same without them!

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Eric’s Optimal Corner Eric Hilton / Optimal Self Community Health and Wellness Center Nearly five years ago, on February 2nd, 2014, I opened Optimal Self Community Health and Wellness Center on Congress Street in downtown Portland. My mission was to create a centre for our community that would give people the opportunity to grow, to heal and to discover themselves.

This mission came from my own personal story. My opening Optimal Self was not solely to create community for others, it was to help me to heal myself.

Back in 2012, I was discharged from my 12 years of military service, in a lost state and struggling with my post-war challenges. To discover my healing, I found that physical fitness, body work and energy work are strong tools that help me heal as a war veteran and a product of unhealthy American influences.

During my journey, I met various healing practitioners. Each one would hand me a business card. I was trained in various healing arts and yet I did not have my own business card to hand them.

So I went online and designed a beautiful business card, but it looked empty…I had no business! Then I decided to create a business and what came to me was, “Optimal Self: Consultant for Mind Body Spirit Living.” From that moment, Optimal Self started to manifest through the business card, sparking conversations around the questions, “What is Optimal Self?” and “What do you mean?”

With each answer I gave and each conversation that transpired, Optimal Self was being developed and refined. Over the years I had also been honing my skills as a personal trainer, a body worker and an energy practitioner. Collectively, the “Optimal Spark” and my developing abilities gave me the tools I needed to discover my own Optimal Self. From here, I found my mission!

The first version of Optimal Self developed in my studio apartment on Exchange Street with simple pads and weights located between my kitchen and my bed.

It was here that I began the Eric Madness Intuitive Bootcamp, where I led my friends wearing military gear and carrying heavy things around the city in humbling excursions.

From here, I was offered warehouse space on Saint John Street to try out the business model in a more appropriate space. Now that I had this new opportunity with more space and a growing and supportive community, I pulled out all the cards I had.

I created workout equipment from anything I could. If you could lift it, and it was awkward and made you uncomfortable, it was perfect. The space provided a launchpad to lead classes more regularly and to provide better training for my friends. While navigating through Optimal Self on a bigger level, I was convinced that my path was to continue Optimal Self on an even larger scale.

When I committed to opening a centre for community and health, I had so much fear. As a wounded veteran, I do have my difficulties. However, I also felt confident because now I had found my new mission! After several failed attempts to secure a space through realtors, I decided to intuit the process on my own.

It was October of 2013 and I was just leaving Local Sprouts. As soon as I walked out the door of the hippy eatery, directly across Congress Street was a papered up storefront with a “FOR LEASE” sign on display. I peeked through a tear in the paper and could see the magic of possibility. I called the property management firm that day and took possession of 640 Congress Street in a matter of weeks.

Fast forward five years to this day. With the help of this growing community, we were able to create an amazing healing space from an old, nasty pawn shop; pouring love, blood, sweat and tears into every square inch.

Optimal Self has served as a place of for people to come to work out, get strong, get fast and discover their power.

People have come here and felt the safety and security in the presence of this space and healed many traumas.

People who have never had community have found family here. Many people who have felt lost in life, not so different from myself, have found clarity of purpose in the community of Optimal Self.

Optimal Self is definitely not your average fitness centre.

Here, we have principles and rules, driven by respect, that guide the community. Here, people respect each other and help each other, not because they are told to do so, but because it feels right.

These principles that everyone holds provide harmony and a safe space to express oneself. We have created a garden with beautiful, different, fierce flowers, all receiving the same air, the same light, connected by the same strong roots within healthy and fertile soil.

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When this garden is strong and all of the flowers are vibrant from their hard work and effort, the whole garden grows stronger together.

Over these years, by being the grateful tender of this garden, I grew and healed, too; overcoming my challenges and keeping my spirits strong to uphold the responsibility of what it means to discover your optimal self. It definitely has not been easy. However, what I have found from fostering this community is the power of what we can create in our world.

I have intimately worked with brothers and sisters suffering on their paths, which in turn taught me a lot about the suffering that we all go through in this world, as well as insight into my own suffering. Through persevering and keeping my faith strong to build a strong community, I also built a fortress of strength within myself, enabling me to see deeper.

I have learned about the evolution of the spirit, the power of change and the change that must happen in ourselves to grow. I have given myself to the community of Optimal Self for the past five years and been given so much more in return. We all have a purpose, but the trick is to knowing our purpose and accepting that our purpose can change, because we are always changing.

After five years of studying community, I, Eric Hilton, have received my calling to move on to the next step on my path. By the close of 2018, Eric Hilton’s Optimal Self Community Health and Wellness Center will no longer exist at 640 Congress Street.

However, the garden of community we established together will continue to grow in many lives with the remembrance of what was discovered at Optimal Self. As I step away from my position here in Portland, Maine, I look forward to discovering myself further in new environments and with new challenges and to discovering the new next mission of Optimal Self.

I thank you, the readers, and all of the people in my life who have helped me and loved me over the years. I promise to continue on giving my best for a better world, and while it will be on an occasional (not regular) basis, I promise to write and keep my Portland friends and the users of what I helped to establish updated on my personal journey. I hope you will keep me posted on where life takes you.

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The Standard Reviewer

By Andrea Rouda / Up Portland’s Film & Theatre Reviewer

Small Movies; Big Personalities IMHO, the meteoric rise of video games, which seemingly have abducted the brains of not only most teens but many adults as well, has had a distressing impact on the small, intimate, slice-of-life movies that were once the order of the day. In the mid-to-late last century, a psychological drama delving deep into the mind of a central character was the basis of every Alfred Hitchcock film, and goodness knows, the audiences ate it up.

These days, competing for eyeballs with so many violent, non-stop action video games, modern movies — at least those hoping for a profit — have followed suit, resulting in stories that skim the surface of emotions and require little dialogue, since most of it is drowned out by the deafening exploding of something — often entire planets. If you’ve been to one of those multiplexes where you can hear the soundtrack of the theatre adjacent to yours, you know what I mean.

I prefer the small movie, especially when it’s based on the life of a real person.

That’s as close as we ever get to experiencing life through someone else’s eyes, which is always a fascinating experience. So I find it frustrating that so many “big movies” are the special effects, crazy costumes, out of this world, flying aircraft kind. Still, seek and ye shall find. I have sought, and I have found. Each of the following films, all released in the last few months of this year, focuses on the hidden inner workings of a genuine homo sapiens, with varying, although mostly positive, results.

Chappaquiddick Though I knew all about the 1969 tragedy surrounding Senator Ted Kennedy early in his political career, still Chappaquiddick was a gripping and sympathetic telling of the tale — and a tall one it was. Suspenseful and dramatic, it might have been more enjoyable if it hadn’t been true.

By now, most people know what happened, but the younger generation barely cares about the Kennedy family and thus the film was in and out of theatres in a flash. Still, it’s a great story and the film does it justice, even if many feel justice was never served: Senator Kennedy went free and never got so much as a slap on the wrist from the voters in Massachusetts, despite his supposedly causing the drowning death of a 28-year-old campaign worker, Mary Jo Kopechne (Kate Mara).

The fact that Kennedy did not call the police for ten hours, thus making any rescue of the young woman impossible, is presented in the film in a sympathetic, “Poor Teddy, he was so freaked out” kind of way, which sticks in your craw if you think about it too much, so don’t. Instead, think about these things: 1.) Kennedy’s hallmark Boston accent comes and goes like the wind. This is understandable since the actor portraying him is Australian (Jason Clarke), so you kind of have to forgive him. Still, it’s distracting and keeps you from really getting into his character, which is kind of the whole point of it all. Despite that, when he’s not speaking we watch him in his dark personal prison, wandering about in a daze after the accident and wondering how he can save himself from political disaster: the heck with the dead girl.

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2.) Veteran actor Bruce Dern plays the senator’s father, Joe Kennedy, after he’s been incapacitated by several strokes. Dern, who is actually a spry 82, looks about 150-years-old in the movie and certainly deserves this year’s Oscar for Best Dead Person Still Alive.

3.) The car driven by Kennedy goes off a bridge, overturning and landing in about four feet of water. Kennedy escapes but his passenger Mary Jo does not.

How come? There is no explanation offered by anyone. The car doors are closed tight, no windows are broken, and nobody even wonders aloud how Kennedy managed to get out, except for me, who wondered aloud about it all during the entire movie, driving my husband batty. (Confession: Later he wondered, too.)

4.) Actor Ed Helms gives an impressive performance as Kennedy’s cousin and closest confidante. Somehow Helms never gets the credit due him and seems stuck as second banana in every film. At the very least he deserves the Oscar for Best Second Banana.

5.) Speaking of close ups, you’ll be forced to watch Mary Jo die, trapped inside a car underwater. These scenes are disturbing. I guess director John Curran thought it was artsy, but take it from me, you won’t like it.

6.) Kennedy matriarch Rose Kennedy is nowhere to be found, for reasons we never learn. This was a glaring omission, especially since right off the bat somebody tells Kennedy to “call your mother so she won’t have to hear about it on the news.”

Besides all that, Chappaquiddick is definitely worth a big bowl of popcorn and an hour and 45 minutes of your time.

First Man By now people over a certain age have heard and seen enough details about the 1969 moon landing of Apollo 11, but not very much about the lives of the men who accomplished the feat. First Man, directed by Damien Chazelle (La La Land), takes us straight into the hearts and minds of the bodies inhabiting those puffy moon suits, most especially that of flight commander Neil Armstrong (Ryan Gosling).

It also depicts with amazing clarity and impressive special effects just what it feels like to be imprisoned inside a rocket propelled at warp speed to parts unknown. We see the training involved, watch the test flights, and mourn the deaths of more than a few pilots. It’s scary stuff, bringing into sharp focus the immense bravery required of our astronauts.

Besides all the men in suits who huddle together smoking cigarettes (this was the 60s when it was an acceptable activity) and making big decisions at NASA, there are gauzy flashbacks concerning Armstrong’s deeply scarred personal life.

A family tragedy early on impacts his marriage, and his lovely wife Janet (Claire Foy) suffers through her own private hell while watching her husband, “Slip the surly bonds of earth,” as America’s anchorman Walter Cronkite famously said at the time, paraphrasing a line from Air Force fighter pilot/ poet John Magee’s High Flight.

Although the dialog is sparse in the extreme, almost annoyingly so, the apt soundtrack and stunning cinematography more than compensate. My personal Oscar prediction: Gosling will certainly be a Best Actor contender, if not the winner.

His performance as the stoically tight-lipped Armstrong, ridden with unrelenting personal grief and flooded with sad memories of happier days, all the while attempting to make history, is nothing short of miraculous. Few words are necessary. We get it.

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Can You Ever Forgive Me? If Melissa McCarthy doesn’t win the Oscar for Best Actress for her portrayal of a frumpy, foul-mouthed, alcoholic, unemployed lesbian writer with a soft spot for cats in this absorbing period piece showcasing New York in the 1990s, I’ll eat my hat. (Not really, but I’ll certainly throw in the towel.) I’ve never been much of a McCarthy fan, she of the crude fart jokes and silly slapstick shticks, until now.

Put simply, I was stunned by the depth of her performance.

Can You Ever Forgive Me? is a very small film that zeros in on a very small life ­­— one that was actually lived. Lee Israel was a freelance writer who enjoyed a modicum of success in New York back in the day, publishing two books with esoteric appeal and numerous magazine pieces profiling popular celebrities.

But tastes changed, and we meet Lee at a very low point: out of work, deeply in debt and drinking her worries away, her cat her only friend. Spoiler alert: It’s all pretty depressing. (On the up side, it’s not your life.)

Through an accidental find inside a library book, Lee stumbles on a nefarious way to earn a living that involves forgery, stealing and lying ­— all things new to her. Still, her precious cat needs medicine and the rent is three months overdue due so she plows on, and we in the audience root for her to get away with it.

After all, what’s so terrible about robbing the rich to feed the poor? Robin Hood did it and became a much-loved character.

But it’s not all about her. Nursing a whiskey in a gay bar one rainy afternoon, Lee meets Jack (Richard E. Grant), an old acquaintance and kindred spirit in the form of a flamboyantly gay, alcoholic drug dealer who is apparently homeless. I know that sounds bad on paper, but he’s actually quite charming in the flesh and breathes some life and laughter into Lee’s dreary existence. The two form a caustic friendship that’s short on warmth but long on connection, and eventually Jack joins in her literary scam, selling Lee’s painstakingly created fake letters of the rich and famous to collectors of such memorabilia.

Another star of this film is New York City in the nineties, before Amazon wiped out all the charming, small bookstores and Walt Disney robbed Times Square of its true personality. It seemed so inviting, especially inside those clubby, dimly lit steakhouses on rainy days and despite the scourge of AIDS that makes a cameo performance near the end. As the final credits rolled I felt oddly alone, until I realised that I had grown to really care for Lee and wanted to keep on watching her live out her strange, sad life, hoping it would get better. I finally caved and went to see it again a few days later, and liked it even better on second viewing.

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Friday 28th December Papers On Street: Wednesday 2nd January

Up Portland is edited in Portland and printed the last week of every month in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. We may be contacted at the e-mail or phone number below. While every effort is made to ensure accuracy and fairness, the publisher assumes no responsibility for errors. Liability is limited to the cost of said ad. Ads not cancelled by published deadlines may be billed at agreed-upon price.

Ads may be edited or rejected for content at the discretion of the publisher. All items appearing in Up Portland, as well as the name, logos and design are copyright 2018 by BBS, A division of High Speed Delivery Fork Ltd. & Ted Fleischaker and may not be reproduced in any form without prior written approval.

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Mark: My Words

By Mark Gatti / Mark’s Hotdogs

“Paula Pigeon” Just a few months ago a flock of ten pigeons started occasionally hanging out near my food stand. I didn’t think too much of this as its been a common occurrence for small flocks of pigeons to frequent Tommy’s Park most years I have worked there.

I say most years because there was a period in the early 2000’s when it was rare to see a pigeon. Substantiated rumours had it that peregrine falcons in some number took residence in our fair forest city at that time. Peregrine falcons are one of the fastest creatures on planet earth and excellent hunters… and they love to eat pigeons almost as much as my customers love to eat hotdogs.

Whether by massive predation by falcons or some other adversarial conditions that led to the “Plummeting Portland Pigeon Population” (Say that five times

fast!), I don’t know. Whatever stressors on the pigeons at that time seem to have been mitigated as we now see flocks of them again. Human reaction to the uprising in pigeon population varies between those folks who make cooing love sounds to them to others who refer to them as “sky rats”. Others, in a middle area, have a love/hate somewhat ambivalent attitude toward them. Although generally a soft touch when it comes to creatures great and small, I count myself in this group.

Referencing back to the flock of pigeons now visiting Tommy’s Park, one stands out from the rest. A bird with mottled brindle markings and a mohawk hair style, I have named her Paula. That’s her at right. Either through birth defect or past injury, one of her claws (feet?) is missing and she walks with a limp. She definitely favours this claw (foot?) and stays off it as much as possible.

Customers and passersby took immediate notice of her and, feeling sorry, quite often fed Paula crumbs and other scraps of food. This continued for several days and soon Paula became quite emboldened as a “regular” at my stand.

We were surprised when we witnessed her behavior around others in her flock when food was scattered about. Instead of withdrawing or being shooed away, Paula more than held her own and won more food battles than she lost. Also noticeable, she flew just as well as any other bird whenever threatened.

Within a week I realised that this pigeon had adapted well to this birth defect or old injury and was just as hardy as any other in her group.

After another week Paula’s behaviour became downright aggressive. She took to flying up in customers faces attempting to get a few pecks of hot dog morsels.

M a i n e ’ s F i n e s t P r i n t e d T- s h i r t s

LIBERTY GRAPHICS Find Us in Liberty Village and The Old Port • lgtees.com

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She was quickly turning into a formidable threat to business and I found myself batting this cute little pigeon away, much to my chagrin. I had to take measures and tell people not to feed her near the stand and warn customers about her deft talents in food snatching.

Some weeks have passed by now and Paula has mellowed out, probably because she and her kin are getting their scraps further away from the stand and she’s been swatted away enough to learn that outright food pilfering can not be tolerated.

My range of emotions concerning this little new acquaintance have run the gamut and come full circle. Like a few others, I felt sorry for this injured looking creature and frankly thought she was not long for this world when she first appeared at the stand. It was amazing how quickly my attitude towards her changed in following weeks as Paula transformed into a monster food stealing pest.

Of course, my feelings of anger towards her all have their root in early coddling behaviours that I and other “soft touches” wrongly provided her. Her aggressive behaviour was our fault.

This tale of Paula the Pigeon and her transformative effect on my emotions come full circle as I recite this last occurrence.

It was a cold, raw damp day in early November. Drizzly at first, the last two hours of my day featured a steady, miserable rain. I had served my last customer around three o’clock and now at three-thirty decided to pull up stakes early and head home.

As I took the 20 minutes or so it takes to pack up all my gear, I noticed no sign of human, animal or bird life anywhere.

Finally, it was time to move my stand and attach it to the trailer hitch.

Feelings at once tender and sad overwhelmed me as I noticed Paula scampering off in the desolate, wet bleakness. She had taken refuge under the stand and was keeping me company in the vast gray loneliness. At that moment she owned my heart…

Not withstanding any possible future food thefts, I am happy to report that Paula and her clan are currently healthy with no recent incidents of aggressive food thefts to report here.

To my human readers and customers, I remain open until December the 7th this year, after which time I may make an occasional appearance on a Winter Friday or Saturday, weather permitting. The rest of the week will find me at my less weather-dependent “day job” safely indoors, though I will be missing and wondering about Paula and her ilk.

Happy Holidays and warm regards, Mark

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Join us for some holiday funJ

Happy Holidays!

Sunday, December 2

Holiday Class at South Portland Two Fat Cats 1-2pm Holiday Cupcake Decorating for Kids

Saturday, December 8

12-5pm—Open House at our South Portland location 10am-6pm—East End Stroll at our Portland location Sample our holiday menu, Enjoy a hot chocolate bar, Pick up stocking stuffers

Our Locations

Holiday Hours

Portland — 47 India Street So. Portland — 740 Broadway Scarborough — 655 US Route 1

Sunday, Dec. 23, 8am-4pm Monday, Dec. 24, 8am-3pm Tuesday, Dec. 25—closed Wednesday, Dec. 26—closed

(at Pine Tree Seafood & Produce)

Call to place a holiday order 207.347.5144 Portland 207.536.7713 South Portland

www.twofatcatsbakery.com Page 24

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