UP PORTLAND MARCH 2019

MARCH 2019

Dennis Fournier is Portland’s “plein air painting” expert. Learn all about his style & see more of his work on Pages 14 & 15

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Travel Notes Book To Launch At Maine Jewish Museum Through his many gallery and museum exhibitions, Henry Isaacs is one of New England's best known landscape painters.

His work is colourful, friendly to the eye and easy to like. But it is deceptively complex.

Enter Travel Notes by Daniel Kany, which follows the rich trail of how Isaacs has come to paint the way he does by focusing on the myriad small paintings Isaacs does both in preparation for his larger works, but also as a mode of their own.

Isaacs calls these small paintings "notes," and you can ďŹ nd out all about how they came to be, where Isaacs likes to travel and what he sees that many of us might miss at any given location.

To learn more, join Isaacs and Kany for a special talk and celebration Sunday 10th March at 2 p.m. at the Maine Jewish Museum Admission is free, but copies of the book and small paintings by Henry Isaacs will be available for purchase on the day.

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By Randy Dankievitch — TV Critic / TVOvermind

The Battle Royale Genre Finds a Master in Apex Legends On February the 4th, while the world was still recovering from one of the modern era’s most boring Super Bowls, Respawn Entertainment – the minds behind the fantastic, underrated Titanfall series – dropped a shocker on the gaming industry, releasing their entry into the free-to-play battle royale genre with nary a bit of pre-release marketing.

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Within 24 hours, over two million people had played the game – and within a week, over 25 million players had launched into Apex Legends, a record-breaking number even the juggernauts of the genre – Fortnite and PlayerUnkown’s Battlegrounds (PUBG) – couldn’t match upon their releases.

And for good reason: not only is Apex Legends a much more accessible battle royale for the average gamer, but it is an absolute masterpiece in game design... the rare title earning the lauded “genre-changing” label its been given across games media the past couple weeks.

There are a number of features that make Apex Legends the pinnacle of battle royale games; a wonderfully balanced, diverse set of “heroes” (a.k.a. characters with specific, defined special abilities), the gorgeous geography of King’s Canyon, and gun play that would make any Call of Duty fan’s heart melt.

These combined – plus the welcome absence of building, the most frustrating, joyless element of Fortnite – would alone be enough to catapult Apex Legends into the upper echelon of battle royale; where the game truly becomes a revolutionary entry, however, is its ingenious ping system.

For those unfamiliar, Apex Legends is not a “solo queue” game; that is, instead of 100 individuals dropping onto a map to fight for a single champion, Apex features 60 players in each game, split up into teams of three.

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On a surface level, Apex is fairly similar to Fortnite and PUBG; each game features a continuously shrinking battlefield, with players looting every box and room they can find for the best gear, weapon attachments and grenades to take out opponents with.

As a team game, however, Apex Legends demands communication between team members, which in most games, would lead to the usual chorus of pre-teen cursing, racist chatter, and all the other nonsense that comes with anonymous players using microphones to communicate in an online game.

The ping system eliminates the need for this altogether; with a single button, players can mark locations on the map, confirm the location of other characters, mark important loot like shields or ammo, and even offer contextual advice, like marking an area other players have recently visited, or letting a player who has been killed know someone is on the way to save them (Apex also has the unique feature of giving players the ability to respawn teammates at specific points on Please Continue On The Next Page

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By Randy Dankievitch — Continued From Page Three the map). All of this information can be conveyed with the use of a single button (or on the PC, whatever mouse clicker or keyboard function players want to bind it to).

Players can still talk to each other over open chat, of course, but by removing the requirement to communicate verbally (which, for women, children, or inexperienced gamers, is a hell scape waiting to happen), Apex Legends significantly lowers the bar of entry to get players engaged.

Most importantly, the function works like an absolute charm: I’ve won tightly coordinated games with two random players, never uttering a word out loud to each other over the course of a 15-20 minute match.

Between the in-game chatter between “heroes” (Apex’s playable characters) and the ping system, every bit of necessary information can be communicated in-game, with no language barrier, need to understand complicated terms or language... and no delay in trying to explain to a teammate where something (or someone) might be. With a simple ping, Apex has completely changed the game.

After three weeks, I’ve played about 600 games of Apex Legends, and it is impossible to quantify just how mind blowing the ping system is. There’s so

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many other things Apex does well where other games struggle (auto-equipping gun attachments without having to navigate menus or manage inventory, for example), but the ping system is what keeps me playing game after game.

In one fell swoop, Respawn has addressed some of the biggest issues in online multiplayer gaming – toxic chat – without having to change how their game operates or plays one iota. It’s abundantly impressive --- so impressive that Epic Games spent the entire month of February figuring out how to copy it, recently implementing it as a new feature in its Season 8 launch this week (which also introduces a new section of the map where Weezer’s horrible new album plays on a loop, so... take that news with a grain of salt).

And Fortnite won’t be the last: I’d fully expect traditional multiplayer shooters like Gears of War, Halo and Call of Duty to adopt this system, in some form, in future titles; a tool serving the dual purpose of effective communication while reducing potential toxicity is going to prove to be valuable for the future of casual multiplayer competition.

Whether Apex Legends has the ability to retain its immense player base over time remains to be seen; however, that one small feature has already left an indelible mark on the industry in only a few short weeks... an impressive feat for any game development studio in the overcrowded gaming landscape of 2019.

Changes At Up Portland With this issue of Up Portland, we bid farewell to some familiar writers, welcome another’s expansion of duties and hope readers continue to read, enjoy and comment. Andrea Rouda has decided to retire from being our Standard Reviewer and Randy Dankievitch will assume the movie and TV duties in addition to his gaming beat. Meanwhile, Jesse Herrick, has found his schedule too demanding for monthly deadlines and relaxation, so this month marks his final column. We will miss both Jesse and Andrea and we hope everyone enjoys Randy in his new, expanded role.

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Mark: My Words

By Mark Gatti / Mark’s Hotdogs Winter. In all its bleak harshness and white crystal beauty is a season of two faces. For some, an opportunity for financial gain. For others, a time to adapt a bunker mentality while dealing with less income and higher monthly bills. A four to five-month occasion for cold weather athletes, hobbyists and enthusiasts to experience fun filled ecstatic adventures. A four to five-month juncture of near hibernation for those of a warm-blooded ilk, who achieve happiness and oneness with mother nature only in time of soft warm sunny days of summer.

In between these opposite groups of lover/haters of winter are many, myself included, who garner enough pleasure from outside winter activities to stave off seasonal depressive disorder. Getting in enough pleasurable outside activities is key to my mental happiness this time of year. It also helps that I gobble down a Vitamin D tablet daily, essential to combat the blueness that can permeate my soul during extended period of cold, dark sun exempt days!

Regarding bygone years of winter seasons spent at my food stand, snow and ice removal were the first tasks of the day essential to opening for business.

Smaller storms required arriving at location 30 minutes earlier than normal in order to serve lunch on time. Larger storms predicated getting at the site around dawn as the shoveling, ice chipping and salting chores could take a few hours. For several years I had the good fortune of snow removal done by a loyal customer who worked for Public Works. What a relief to arrive at work and see my place of toil snowflake free, with copious amounts of salt and sand scattered about! I was happy for him that he was able to retire relatively young and in good health. However, I am selfish enough to admit he was sorely missed in all following snow filled winters.

splattered by horse droppings on the street. In this small example, Mr. Hewes was a living link to the past.

Thinking about winter also reminds me of the famous ice storm of January 1988. Long in duration and widespread, most of the state was without power for weeks. Coastal communities had it quite a bit easier. Still, I recall being without power for five days in our northwest neighbourhood. My young sons thought it was a great adventure. Their spirits were also bolstered by a full week of no school.

Their good cheer and high spirits had a positive effect at keeping my seasonal depressive tendencies at bay. Good thing, too, as I wasn’t taking my daily dose of Vitamin D back then --- if anybody even knew of such.

Essentially, it was a quasi-week spent in a winter camping state of mind. Each morning the sons would put on layers of clothes and go out in the yard with me to cook camp breakfast on the gas grill. The hot dog cart came to the rescue in the afternoon and evenings. Snappy hot dogs fresh from the steamer was the exclusive fare. Diet lacking in variety, no one cared as it was a comfort to eat hot food during this extended period of chill. My first meal enjoyed after the power came back was not hot dogs I will readily admit.

As I get older the winters seem to get longer and colder. I know this not true and is just a part of the aging process. Spirits have been buoyed by trips to smelt fishing shacks kept toasty with wood fired stoves. Frequent snow shoeing outings with wife and dog have also been a tonic to the winter blahs. Another lift is not working outside in winter any more, though I do cherish my memories of long frosty exposure working outside --- memories which are not looked back upon terribly fondly.

Until next time, keep warm! Mark G.

Formerly, Middle Street facing my stand did not have metered parking spaces.

This proved problematic in the slushy season when speedy cars and trucks veered in close. Too often for my liking nearby pedestrians, myself, and the hot dog stand would get sprayed by liquidy, frozen glop. I would wave my five-foot long ice chisel at the perpetrators much like a Viking hell bent on battle. All, of course, to no avail.

Speaking of slush reminds me of Mr. Hewes. A regular customer for many years, he always ordered two regular hot dogs with relish only. His office was nearby so I did business with him weekly. An old gentleman he was. He had the uncommon habit of making sure any lady clients or co-workers of his were not on the street side of him while walking in slushy weather. Also, he would shield the ladies with a protective arm or his overcoat to prevent them from being sprayed. This charming behaviour was so ingrained that I noticed he would do this for ladies walking with him on bright sunny days by reflex. While this style of gallantry has always existed, I never saw it carried to the extreme frequency as that displayed by Mr. Hewes.

This nice man lived a long life, helped in part by the healthy habit of regular tennis sessions well into his eighties. Offering condolence to one of his sons at his passing, I inquired about Mr. Hewes’ oft-used courtly mannerisms, exhibited in all weather --- slushy or not. I was warmed to hear that his mannerisms harkened back to the days of horse drawn transportation, when gentlemen took pains to shield ladies not only from slushy snow or rain, but also from getting

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Already tired of winter?

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Sauntering With Mat

By Mat Robedee / Up Portland Commentator

Recently I returned home from a lengthy trip exploring Ecuador, a country that has held my curiosity for many years now. Other than being famous for the Galapagos Islands (which might as well be a country of their own) and Quito, many seem to be unfamiliar with this South American gem. Surprisingly, for being relatively off the radar and of smaller size, there are an incredible number of wonders tucked tightly within this compact nation. To top it off, since Ecuador sits directly on the Equator (hence the name) the weather is rather consistent as are the number of daylight hours.

For being slightly smaller than the state of Nevada, Ecuador encompasses a wide range of natural formations and ecosystems. It’s best to envision the country as being four unique regions; the Galapagos Islands, Coast, Sierra and Amazon. These vastly different environments flourish with life, which have made the biodiversity of Ecuador extraordinary.

strange departing a Maine winter for a vacation to never see a beach, but the decision to do so did not disappoint.

During the two weeks aboard, I was awarded some truly incredible sights and experiences: mountains, volcanoes, jungles, waterfalls, orchids growing on telephone lines and rivers that carved their way through valleys. Additionally, hummingbirds seemed to be as common as the Maine mosquito and fresh fruit hung from trees in every direction one turned.

Then there is the return home. The one question that everyone seems to ask: What was your favourite part of the trip? Normally I find this to be a rather cut and dry, easy to answer question but for Ecuador, it has been difficult.

Perhaps it was the older ladies at the market who worked all day, cooking dishes for locals and the absolute pride in their eyes as they watched you eat their food.

It is also hard to look past the ever-changing landscape, where every turn was a new waterfall cascading down a cliff edge or volcano silhouette upon the horizon. After much thought, one of my favourite moments in Ecuador was found in the early morning.

You may dislike me for saying this or even cringe at the words, but I am one of “those people”, a morning person. The classic energetic, coffee chugging, song singing, “lets tackle to world” kind of morning person. Friends reading this who know me best are likely saying to themselves “Oh great, he’s about to go on another long winded tangent about his bizarre love for breakfast foods”– rest assured, I would never be so rude…for my love for breakfast foods deserves its own article, not a few mere sentences.

The Amazon region alone contains more flora and fauna than most anywhere else in the world. Then there is the Sierra, the central belt of Ecuador that includes the Andes Mountains, sprinkled with volcanoes and mountain peaks that showcase year-round snow – on the Equator, which is rather impressive. On the outskirts of these burly mountains, as the terrain begins sloping downwards are the legendary cloud rainforests; extremely biodiverse areas full of natural wonder and ancient lore.

Having two weeks for travel, this trip was tailored solely around the Amazon and Sierra regions, splitting my time evenly amongst both. I admit, it felt

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Jokes and my love for breakfast aside, it is my belief that the greatest magic of the day occurs within the morning hours. During this window of time life awakens, focus and creativity flow and the tone for the entire day is set. This whole ‘clean slate’ appeal of mornings keeps me coming back. Those beautiful few hours before your energy and time become scattered between arduous tasks and expectations.

It was just under halfway through the trip when we arrived at our homestay in Mindo Valley. This is an area northeast of Quito and famous for not only its pristine cloud rainforests but remarkable bird populations. Nearly 30 minutes

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of driving along a winding and very narrow dirt road, we arrived at our homestay: A custom built oasis resting atop a small hill, bordering a massive nature preserve.

The owner welcomed us, giving a small tour and rundown of the property he owned; hundreds of acres consisting of mountains, forest, rivers and waterfalls – all interconnected by a series of trails. Needless to say, it was paradise.

Chatting with the owner in greater depth and discussing my love for the outdoors, he told me of a sunrise trek to take, to a location where birds game together in great numbers each morning to sing their songs.

I awoke at 5.30 the next morning, laced up my hiking boots, grabbed my torch and headed out the door to welcome the new day. The neighbouring dogs, Sasha and Grizzly, quickly greeted me. It was obvious they too loved the morning and they both quickly became my sidekicks for the remainder of the day. Slowly we walked along the trails as the first light slowly filled the sky. By then I had made it to the spot with the birds, where I sat down in silence and listened to them perform. The experience was no doubt one of the loudest symphonies I have heard nature give in quite some time. It was honestly breath-taking.

Eventually, as the sun broke from behind the mountains, and the day started coming to life. The birds began to quiet down and the pups were getting restless, so we continued our hike along the trail, remembering the owner mention a stream where a private swim hole could be found. After running through the fields with the pups and laughing as they chased off vultures, much as a dog from Maine would do to squirrels, I made it to the swim hole.

It was there I spent the remainder of the morning playing with the pups, listening to the sounds of nature, and calmly letting the water rinse over my bare body. For me – this was it, this was my favourite moment. In a world of constant stimulation and obligation, magic can be found in the stillness.

Not everyone has the ability or means to travel as I do. Knowing this, I try not to take such moments for granted. One does not need to travel far to experience the morning magic I speak of, as it can be found anywhere. And best of all, it’s free. Each morning is undeniably amazing and brings new hope, inspirations, and appreciation. It’s the calm before the storm of the day... a time to reflect, connect and set the tone for how the rest of your day will unfold.

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Beyond The Forecast

By Jack Sillin / Weatherman & Meterology Student Hello everyone!

Spring is coming into view now, but we all know that March is just as much a winter month as December or January here in Maine.

This time last year we had two back-to-back blizzards bury the city and surrounding areas, while a third storm brought ferocious winds and coastal flooding. This year’s March doesn’t appear to be nearly as exciting, so I thought I’d take a look in the rear view mirror at one of this winter’s persistent trends thus far.

The trend I’m talking about is the fact that all our storms have been what we call overrunning events. That means that we get precip from warm air sliding up and over a low level cold airmass, as opposed to a different set of dynamics on the back side of a nor’easter. Overrunning storms are our “slow and steady”

snow producers, rarely if ever producing extreme snow totals or rates.

They’re a great way to nickel-and-dime your way to an average winter without any memorable events, which is basically what has happened over the past few months. So why have we been stuck with mediocre snowstorms?

The answer lies in the overall configuration of the jet stream and a few related features over the past few months. The graphic on this page gives a good overview of some of the factors contributing to the parade of messy storms. The most critical factor is the presence of a ridge of higher than normal heights over the Southeastern states that extends into the SW Atlantic.

Basically higher heights (height meaning how far up into the atmosphere you have to go to get a pressure of 500mb, about half the pressure here at the surface) act like pinball bumpers, deflecting storms away from the center of the ridge. The Southeast ridge then acts to deflect any storms coming in from the west up towards the Great Lakes instead of letting them move offshore and develop into nor’easters.

Additionally, the strong Pacific jet and strong Subtropical jet which resulted in all those giant California storms provided a constant stream of disturbances from the tropics/subtropics. They were typically moisture-heavy events but lacking in deep cold air. The cold air was just cold enough for snow/mixed precip because sinking air over Southeastern Canada built up high pressure systems that were able to develop just in time and right in front of the storms headed for the Great Lakes.

Storms that would’ve been plain rain (and often were in places as close as Portsmouth and Boston) became just cold enough for a snow/sleet/ice mix, with any warming coming right as the storm was wrapping up.

The key factor in preventing big coastal storms is the Atlantic jet stream configuration.

The blue shading ESE of Newfoundland indicates lower than normal heights (cooler/stormier weather).

That trough let the jet stream move straight out into the Atlantic, with little in the way of a north/south component.

This means any storms that didn’t move into the Great Lakes just zipped out to sea and weren’t able to develop into strong coastal storms until they were hundreds of miles away.

There was some high pressure over Greenland, typically a signal of what’s known as “blocking”. Blocking occurs when one of those pinball high pressure systems we talked about earlier redirects the whole jet stream north, slowing down the progression of storm systems through the flow.

So why didn’t that happen this time?

The jet stream never actually went all the way around the Greenland block,

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it just cut below the block through the open Atlantic. That prevented disturbances from slowing down enough to consolidate into a major nor’easter.

This pattern is expected to continue into the month of March as we gradually ease into Spring. More systems are likely to track to our west, with high pressure centers dropping down from Canada just in time to make the precipitation type forecasts tricky.

If you’re headed up to the ski mountains, I hear conditions are all-time with feet and feet of snowpack.

Meanwhile, if your snowblower is tired of picking up sloppy sludge off the driveway, I’m sorry to say we’re not out of the woods yet.

I’ll be back next month with more weather.

-Jack

Jack’s Weather Terms Blocking: I discussed this briefly in the main column, but want to elaborate a bit here. Blocking is a phenomenon where a ridge of high pressure acts to block the jet stream from moving west to east, and instead forces it to take a circuitous route around the northern periphery of the ridge. Think of it as a rock placed in a mountain stream, the water (air) is forced to divert around the rock (high pressure system) because it can’t travel straight through. Blocking is important because it drops the angular momentum (tendency of east-moving air to keep moving east) of the jet, which slows it down (similar to when you slow down to make a turn while driving). The slowing of the jet lets disturbances catch up to each other. When disturbances join forces, that’s how we get our big blizzards.

Rex Block: Sadly this doesn’t refer to a T-Rex, but rather a type of blocking where the blocking high exists to the north of a low pressure system. This forces the jet into an even more convoluted manoeuvre, where it moves north around the blocking high, then back south, then southwest around the back side of the low, before finally turning back around to the east. A Rex block has been present this winter over the West Coast and is responsible for Seattle’s record snowy February.

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Layne’s Wine Time

Layne V. Witherell / Up Portland Wine Critic

FAVOURITE WINE WRITERS

It is a near physical impossibility to either turn off your smart phone or stay away, as it is a wonderland of precious (and some less-than-precious) wine information. The ratings in the Wine Enthusiast and Wine Spectator magazines and websites are manna to the wine lover.

Equally addictive is Vivino, that obsessive little app that with a single picture of a label tells price, rating and makes you a super trendy consumer. Someday there will be an app that you trot into a restaurant that renders the sommelier a relic.

After 40 plus years in the wine biz (20 plus in writing), the ultimate yawner is reading about that snappy little pinot blanc that accompanies all seafood dishes.

I am continually in search of writer’s work that make the subject come alive and create excitement. Here are my favourites: ERIC ASIMOV: NEW YORK TIMES This is my Wednesday morning prayer meeting read over a cup of coffee. Sure, you will seldom find any of these wines for sale in your home town wine store, but he empowers them with great stories and conviction-and great writing.

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Recent articles of his include: ---17th December 2018. He pulls retsina (the Greek wine you love to hate) from being a gag reflex to a sought-after dinner companion.

---10th January. “The Supreme Court May Change the Way you Buy Wine”. Will your wine drop out of the sky on a drone? Stay tuned.

---4th February. “Supermarket Wines are Poured and Worlds Collide”. He assigned his readers to try three very popular wines: Apothic, Meiomi and the Prisoner and report back. “Calm understanding was not the order of the day.

Instead of a learning exercise, the assignment became a noisy collision of worlds that do not usually meet.” A fascinating look at who we are “revealing insights about the divisions in American wine culture and the powerful emotions they stir up.” You can just substitute “American culture”, if you wish . A must read.

JANCIS ROBINSON: LONDON’S FINANCIAL TIMES A friend brings me copies of this precious little pink newspaper. While going through my study this morning, I have unearthed hundreds of back issues of Janics’ columns. Think Asimov will break you into tears of yearning, wait till you read Jancis. She is a 60’ish Brit who has travelled, tasted and commented on the entire world of wine. And, she is not afraid to speak her mind.

---11th March 2017. “Bordeaux Grows Up”. “The merchants are a curmudgeonly bunch”. A piece on the long overdue modernization of their growing practices and wine flavours, not to mention attitudes and prices.

--- 21st September 2018. “The Truth About Animal Free Wines”. Tips for people who want to get their vegan on.

---27th October 2017. “The Cape of Good Hopes”. The wine industry has mastered and perfected that old timey carnival act called “The Dog and Pony

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Show”. I have been on all sides of this little wine promotion extravaganza, from the vineyard tractor ride through the ancient and rare “I” block of the Mondavi Winery while drinking a glass of its nectar, to a one-on-one winemaker tour of Chateau Mouton and Domaine Romanee Conti (fabled estates). I too have conducted these little performances at Monticello in Virginia.

a handful of books on the subject that will live long after he is gone. Hugh Johnson, the guru of wine gurus called him “an intellectual guerilla among wine writers.”

Which brings me to this article. It sums up the entire “Dog and Pony Show” world. She cuts through it like a knife. Why, after visiting and falling in love with your favourite vacation winery discoveries (in this case South Africa), are there none to be found at your favourite stores? Little promotion money. Too low grape prices, too low labour costs, bulk selling too many wines, too many years on the bottom shelf. The things they don’t tell you in the tasting room or on the tour bus. She does offer hope.

---Making Sense of Burgundy, Quill, 1990.

This is two books under a single cover. Thinking Burgundy, pages 21-81 and Drinking Burgundy, the other 400 plus pages. He will be remembered for that controversial first part --- the chapter “The Notion of Terroir”, the unique place on the planet where man, site and plant meet and commune together producing greatness. His attack on ego driven winemakers is still highly controversial, with metaphysical Matt at his best.

MATT KRAMER ENFANT TERRIBLE If Jancis Robinson is the Beatles, then Matt is clearly the Rolling Stones. Or, in their rarified circles the Bach Cantatas vs. Stravinski. Matt began in the 1970’s as a take-no-prisoners restaurant critic for a small paper in Portland, Oregon.

He quickly honed his wine chops.

---Matt Kramer’s Making Sense of Italian Wine, Running Press, 2006.

His chapter on Bella Figura (the beautiful gesture) digs deep into the Italian psyche. After all, that is what Matt Kramer is all about.

The following books are what I believe to be “Matt’s greatest hits”.

You can read them at your leisure, even while enjoying that little pinot blanc that compliments all seafood dishes. There is a whole world out there.

For over 25 years he plied his trade as Diogenes in residence for the world’s best-selling wine magazine --- The Wine Spectator. While they cultivated glamorous lifestyle wine living Matt burrowed into the deep end and sometimes muddy waters of the subject.

(EDITORS NOTE: Layne is a professional in the wine business with over 30 years of experience. He can be reached at lvwitherell@gmail.com for talks and consulting. His website is www.winemaniacs.wordpress.com

He recently either resigned (was fired?) or just parted ways causing ripples in the wine writing and blogging world. Had he just run out of gas in that acerbic tank or did the culture of soccer mom/part time real estate franchisees selling wine club memberships like Tupperware exhaust him?

Layne also is hosting wine events at Port City Blue, 650 A Congress St., Portland.

“Layne’s Wine Gig” is a tasting, rollicking stand-up from 4.30 to 5.30 p.m. Every 2nd Friday of the month. There will be merchandise for sale, too. Call them at 7744111 for info.)

We may never know for sure. One thing we will know for sure is that he wrote

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Dennis Fournier’s Canvas Is On Almost Any Street Corner

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Dennis Fournier has a thing for painting on street corners all over the Peninsula. If you have ever been to Tommy’s Park, along Congress Street or in the East or West End, likely you have seen him set up like someone you’d expect to find on a street in Paris or elsewhere in France. All he’s usually missing is a beret.

His locations and appearance could be because his technique is called “plein air painting”, as in “fresh air”.

Wikipedia notes, “ Artists have long painted outdoors, but in the mid-19th century, working in natural light became particularly important to the Barbizon school, Hudson River School, and Impressionists.

“In 1830, the Barbizon School in France, inspired by John Constable, enabled artists like Charles-François Daubigny and Théodore Rousseau to more accurately depict the appearance of outdoor settings in various light and weather conditions. In the late 1800s, the en plein air approach was incorporated with the impressionists’ style, and artists such as Claude Monet, Pierre-Auguste Renoir, Frédéric Bazille, and Edgar Degas began creating their work outdoors.”

In Portland, that love and technique is continued to this day by Fournier, who told Up Portland simply, “I love Plein air painting.” And it shows, not only in his work, but where and when (rain, snow or shine) you can spot him and his easel.

The artist said his love of being outdoors and travelling around the area can, in part be traced back to his grandmother.

“She was a teacher on the islands back when they would send the teacher out on the ferry. A lady I met had been a student of grandma’s and told me she would hop around to all the different islands. It was probably quite difficult.”

Dennis himself grew up on dry land in South Portland and as a child, had a friend whose parents were teaching at USM. “Steve was my first teacher and every time I went into an art class the teachers loved me. My parents were blue collar and when I finished high school and went to USM I was directed toward the arts. I was already doing art at the time.... everybody wants to be an artist, don’t they? I never dreamed I could make any money making art and still don’t make much but I’d do it for free,” he told us.

Meanwhile, Fournier said Portland is “a painting waiting to happen...certain locations call out to me as they are different every time. It’s a different experience each visit, just like a jazz performance. I can take the same palate to the same location, but I can’t reproduce any painting I have ever done,” he said.

The artist noted that he’s painted the scenes since 1983, “and I’ve sold a lot of paintings, but they are always different. I mean, every time I go out to paint it’s like a performance and, just like a street musician would, I get an audience.”

Fournier said he’s especially fond of the kids who are with mom and dad and stop to see him work. Since he started the same way and at the same age, he noted, “ I hand the kids brushes and tell them ‘go on and try’. They add a tree or something to the work, and I leave it all in because children have a natural knack and are interested in the fun.”

For those --- young and older --- who’d like to see Fournier’s latest show after looking at the familiar scenes on these pages and our cover this month, visit Coffee By Design at 620 Congress Street or at 67 India Street, where he is currently featured on the walls. All of the works are for sale and if you ask the staff or look around, you likely will find the artist having his cup of Joe or chatting with customers. You can also occasionally find the artist at Urban Farm Fermentory, 200 Anderson Street, where they also love to display his huge works.

To otherwise find Fournier, text is best and he can be messaged at 207/395.6633.

Or just keep an eye open when you walk or drive around the peninsula for the guy with the easel and canvas. That will be him --- in any weather!

Up Portland 03.19 In Print * On The Web At: www.upportland.com * On Facebook Page 15

Food For Thought...

If you are like me lately, you are way more likely to get “sticker shock” when presented your bill for a meal here in Portland than you are to get a stomach ache from consuming too much good food. Perhaps it’s just me, but the drip-dripdrip creep in prices seems to have escalated into a river of increases this Winter, meaning it’s to the point that half the days we have lunch out on the Peninsula I am finding, with a tip for what is usually great service (shout out to the staffs), a lunch bill that gets close to, if not slightly over, $50 for two.

I recall my dad back in the day chiding my best friend and I for staying at the Hilton in Rockefeller Centre in NYC and paying the then grand sum of about $50 for a hotel room. That was close to most folks’ monthly mortgage payment at the time.

Anyway, I wanted to mention the sticker shock because it bothers me that affordable meals and Portland are quickly becoming unable to be uttered in the same sentence.

The worst part is that it seems too many of the bakeries, delis, restaurants and others providing our award-winning eats appear either to not have a clue what to do to keep the doors open, lights on and do it for an affordable amount, or they do not care or, worst of all, hope we won’t notice. Need proof? A certain national ice cream firm hoped we’d not notice that they no longer sell half gallons and have not for years.

These days, aside from Gifford’s (a great Maine company) it’s harder and harder to even find a real half gallon of ice cream at the store, meaning this deception has sadly caught on. It’s the same for orange juice and other things most of us buy: Same price but smaller package they hope we don’t notice in our dash thru the aisles.

So, yes, we get it that food costs have gone up for restaurants, too.

Yes, we understand that to have quality on the plates, we need good stuff coming in the back door to the kitchen so those award-winning chefs (and those fancying themselves as chefs) can turn out those meals, but there are limits --- and we find some places we frequent have crossed the line.

Best example: A meal recently at our great sushi spot, Benkay. We love their lunch box (above) with miso soup, and a choice of four entrees from their huge selection. We often get so confused which we like best between visits that we take a photo of our faves and show it to their excellent staff and say “I’d like this, please!” the next time.

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But about the pricing: That lunch box was, if memory serves, $17 when they opened their new Middle Street location in January 2018. It crept up to $18 shortly after that. And a visit last week found that rounded up not to $19, but $20. Do the math: Two lunchbox meals, tax for the governor, a 20% tip for the smiling (and apologetic) staff and lunch was $52 and change.

But do not think we are singling out Benkay, because we aren’t. Everything from bagels to onion soup and lobster has fallen victim. The lobster tank at Hannaford, where they were swimming along at $6.99 a few months ago sported a $12.99 price tag last week. We know this is not “season” for these babies, and few lobstermen go out in the Winter, but we don’t recall that high a price in ages. Bagels which were $9 for a half dozen are now $12... and I could go on.

So yes, restaurant owners, we do get it. To keep the doors open, the good staff from leaving and lights on there has to be realistic pricing, but for we locals, Portland often gets close to, or steps over the line of affordability. To this reviewer all we can say is please try harder to find a middle way.

Look at places like DiMillos, who do so well with their annual “Locals Season” to keep we Peninsula dwellers coming thru the doors until things thaw out and the snowbirds and tourists fly back. If that can’t happen at more spots, everyone will starve --- us for good food and you for no business. And if you can’t find a way or make the numbers work, this might be a good time to consider the business you are in and either sell up, close down (at least for the months no tourists are out here) or look to see how any why places like Duckfat, Two Fat Cats, Fore Street, Standard Baking Company, HiFi Donuts, Union Bagel, Q Street and Miss Portland diners and their ilk still have ‘em lined up --- even in snowstorms.

From gourmet to everyday eats, we need all of you restauranteurs, but we also

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need to be able to afford to come back regularly. Are you listening?

On that same note, we found a great glimmer of hope in the fairly new (and affordable) eatery at 83 Exchange Street called Black Cow. They took the spot formerly occupied by Sonny’s (once a bank, so check out the two floor tall safes in the photo at right) and have brought a real smile to many of our faces.

That block of Exchange has been thru a lot of different food formats and menus... so many that in some ways we think only the sign painters and menu printers have made money previously.

Over the past few years, there was a Greek place with what we were told was “a mean crew”, the Portland Meatball Company if you looked fast enough, and there were more. We hear tell a Thai place and others have occupied the spots alongside and across from Swiss Time and Optical Expressions in years gone by.

Now, we have good news. As we said last issue, Highroller Lobster (where the meatballs were) is in the midst of an expansion and now, across the street, stability, good food and affordable prices have arrived at Black Cow. The restaurant’s website quite accurately says, “Black Cow is a cocktail bar, soda fountain, and burger joint that focuses on hand made food and doubles-down on hospitality. Delicious cocktails and hamburgers served from 11.30 a.m. until midnight with bar service until 1 a.m. daily.”

While we have not done the late night hours nor the bar part (though we are told it’s a happenin’ place) we did recently enjoy one of those “burger joint” lunches. And enjoy was the word from start to finish. Staff was fun to chat with, service (one orders at the counter then they bring your food) was efficient and what was on the plates was more than passable for a spot which calls themselves a “joint”. Oh, and best of all was the bill: $25.76 for two, so virtually half of what we’d paid elsewhere.

The burger, by the way, was good as we had what they call the “Cheeseburger Sandwich” ($7). Menu says, “beef patty, American cheese, iceberg, pickles, mustard, onion, c.t. mayonnaise.”

We know we asked for it rare, got it rare, enjoyed every delicious and messy bit (this was one juicy burger) and we left smiling.

Our partner-in-crime had the same burger (only cooked more) and we shared an order of fries, which were more than sufficient for two. Add to that, we looked at the rest of the menu and spotted (make that a spotted cow, lol) a number of things we’d like to try next visit, including the peppermint stick ice cream, a “Brooklyn Egg Cream” ($4) and more. With the pricing being so fair, I can only imagine we will be working thru the menu at Black Cow in the coming months... and you should go and give it a whirl, too.

If you do the late night bar thing, let us know how that is, since likely we will be Please Continue On The Next Page

Up Portland 03.19 In Print * On The Web At: www.upportland.com * On Facebook Page 17

More Food For Thought...

they open (if seasonal) and if not, note that March is a great time to check those places you have been wanting to eat before the Summer invasion begins.

It won’t be long till May gets here, along with the first cruise ships and those legendary Summertime traffic jams on the turnpike.

in bed by then, but if it’s anything like the daytime lunches, we can say you will come away smiling.

Find out more at www.blackcowburgers.com but keep in mind the only downside of the restaurant is parking in the Old Port ranges from limited to non-existent, so be prepared to stroll in after say a film at the Nickelodeon a block away (with parking above) or think about an Uber for the car.

Bits & Bites... more restaurant news....

One of our fave casual meal spots has changed owners, but before anyone panics, Dock’s Seafood at Broadway & Evans streets in SoPo is in good hands as a manager has bought the place from Bob and Paula Coppersmith. We understand the best deal on twin lobster dinners, haddock reubens and more will be carrying on and expanding at Dock’s, which is indeed great news.

Meanwhile the Coppersmiths will hang on to their Biddeford location (called Dock’s Boathouse) for the time being and concentrate their efforts at Coppersmith Tavern & Table at 671 Main Street in SoPo, which has a great wideranging menu, stretching from steaks to Italian and from a haddock reuben (which made the transition from Docks) to a French Onion Soup we are told is one of the best in town. They have salads, vegetarian items and more, plus a full bar, including several brews done just for them. It’s definitely worth checking out in person or visiting online at www.coppersmithtavern.com ...

And finally, there is some “Spring Light” at the end of the “Winter Tunnel” as a few seasonal spots are staring to stir with the time about to change and the days growing longer.

While we guess we are awhile away from Red’s Eats (at right) reopening in Wiscasset, we do see Bob’s Clam Hut at Washington & Cumberland avenues in Portland (those are their clams above right) has happily reopened after a late January / early February break, and on their website we note that the Ogunquit Lobster Pound (at 504 Main Street in the York County town) is planning to roll the doors open on Friday March the 15th at 5 p.m., “weather permitting”.

It won’t be long before a lot of spots will be set to go for the Summer tourist hoardes, so if you plan to get into your fave locations before you have to compete for a place in line, see when

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Up Portland 03.19 In Print * On The Web At: www.upportland.com * On Facebook

Augustus King: The Pimp of Portland Saturday, March 30 at 1:30 pm a talk by Tim Gillis On July 4, 1849, sailors out of Cape Ann attacked a Portland, Maine brothel and dance hall owned

by Augustus King on Munjoy Hill, also known then as Mount Joy. Within three months, the fight had escalated to cannon fire, murder, and a full-scale riot.

Please join us in the University Events Room, Glickman Library, on the 7th floor of the Glickman Library next to USM Wishcamper Center. Use Wishcamper parking.

Sponsored by Spirits Alive at Eastern Cemetery - Free, donations at the door More info at spiritsalive.org Up Portland 03.19 In Print * On The Web At: www.upportland.com * On Facebook Page 19

Maine Jewish Museum

Opening Reception: March 7, 2019 5pm-7pm Snow Date: Sunday, March 10, 2019 2pm-4pm

Exhibition: March 7, 2019 to May 10, 2019 First Friday Art Walk: April 5 and May 3, 2019 5pm-8pm

Art of the Vegetable

Lynn Karlin Fineberg Family Community Room

Glasslight

Martin Kremer Spiegel Gallery

Revisiting Stu Nudelman Third Floor Sanctuary Curator - Nanci Kahn

Maine Jewish Museum

267 Congress Street, Portland, ME 04101 (207) 773-2339 Monday - Friday 10am-4pm + Sundays 1pm - 5pm or by appointment mainejewishmuseum.org Nancy Davidson, Curator in Residence

In Print * Online * On Social Media

Call Us Today & Find Out How To Promote Your Business 207/536.0922 Page 20

Up Portland 03.19 In Print * On The Web At: www.upportland.com * On Facebook

Beautifully appointed residences with the harbor & city at your doorstep Situated adjacent to Portland’s West End, Old Port, and working waterfront, the beautifully appointed residences of Hobson’s Landing boast open-concept single-level living. Exceptional amenities include onsite concierge, fitness center, spacious club room with full demo kitchen, landscaped community courtyard, dog wash, and shared bikes & vehicle.

Hobson’s Landing offers one, two, and three bedroom condos with available garage parking. There are multiple floor plans, including penthouse units with extraordinary water views & expansive private terraces. The condominiums are customizable and include thoughtfully designed kitchens, state-of-the-art appliances, gas fireplaces, high-efficiency heating and cooling systems, private decks, & 9-foot-plus ceilings.

A unique opportunity to live steps from award-winning restaurants, retail shops, and the vibrant Arts District!

prices starting at $395,000 Occupancy Summer 2020

for more info:

Sandra Johnson +1 (207) 415-2128

Gail Landry +1 (207) 650-8893

hobsonslanding.com

www.townandshore.com

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Home Furnishings & Gifts

15% off in store, if you mention UP Portland

15 Middle Street Portland

Local Art

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www.lemonzesthome.com lemonzesthome@gmail.com @lemonzesthome

Nursery

Decor

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Great movies unite us.

Discussions. Gatherings.

March 9–17, 2019

Over 30 distinctive films.

PORTLAND, BRUNSWICK, WATERVILLE, LEWISTON, BANGOR, ROCKLAND

This year’s MJFF is a can’t miss opportunity for Maine communities to celebrate great cinema—together.

Schedule and tickets at MJFF.ORG

Up Portland 03.19 In Print * On The Web At: www.upportland.com * On Facebook Page 23

The Standard Reviewer

By Randy Dankievitch — TV Critic / TVOvermind

Five to Watch in March...

Given that it is a month with a major Marvel movie release, March is most definitely going to be the month of Captain Marvel – but it is also shaping up to be a month full of quirky, strange releases worth our attention – here are but five of the many, many exciting movies and television shows debuting this month.

The Beach Bum (releases in theatres 29th March).

“From the director of Spring Breakers” is a very divisive prerequisite; Harmony Korine’s 2013 film is one of the more heavily debated entries in auteur film making, a colourful, exquisitely weird movie that is as memorable for its weird James Franco performance as it is for its audacious visual style.

The Beach Bum almost feels like a spiritual sequel in many ways: starring Matthew McConaughey as a drug-addled, party-loving poet, The Beach Bum appears to condense many of Korine’s stylistic flairs and penchant for strange characters into a rather traditional narrative structure (or so it seems), which should make for a delightful mix of surreal, sun-soaked storytelling.

Love, Death, Robots (Netflix, 15th March).

If anyone tells you they know what Love, Death, Robots is about by the show’s early trailers they’re joking: Netflix’s first animated anthology series looks absolutely bats**t crazy: 18 episodes of uniquely animated short stories guided by the hand of David Fincher (the director of Mindhunter and Zodiac, among other things). What stories will be told remains to be seen; given the show’s NSFW trailers, however, it is certainly going to be an entertaining, thoughtprovoking mix of ambitious storytelling and glorious, mind-melting visuals, created and animated by a diverse set of animation teams from all over the world. In the increasingly crowded, repetitive streaming television landscape, Love, Death, and Robots looks to be a truly unique entry worth keeping an eye (or cybernetic prosthetic visual device) on.

Now Apocalypse (Starz, 10th March).

What would happen if taking drugs gave you an avenue to witness an oncoming apocalypse? This is the question raised by Now Apocalypse, a coming-of-age series from visionary minds of Greg Araki and Karley Sciortino (and produced

by Steven Soderbergh, if those two names aren’t enough to pique your interest).

Araki’s already dipped his toes into television once – MTV’s cancelled pilot This Is How the World Ends, which may serve as a interesting study as a precursor to this series – but with Apocalypse Now, Araki looks to take his brash, expressive ruminations on sexuality and humanity to the small screen. A tale of fame, identity, and self-discovery that is equal parts sex comedy and surrealist drama, Now Apocalypse looks to be one of the weirder entries to hit cable TV in 2019.

Us (releases in theatres 22nd March).

Us is the new movie from writer/director Jordan Peele – need I say anything else? A psychological thriller which appears to feature weird doppelgangers of Continue Next Page, Below The Line

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Up Portland 03.19 In Print * On The Web At: www.upportland.com * On Facebook

In Pursuit Of Evolution Jesse Herrick / Evolution Laser Studio

The Purge As per usual I am stressed and feel like I’m scrambling and clamouring to get by, so I am going to keep this brief.

Sometimes I’m a bit of an asshole. Ok, maybe more than sometimes, but in this particular case I am referring to my tendency to focus on the negative rather than the wonderful things that are going on in my life. I find it so easy to focus and fixate on things that are going wrong and things that could be better when if I step back and take an objective look I lead a pretty charmed life. Ok, more than a pretty charmed life.

When I actually look at it I am lucky enough to come from a family with two wonderful parents, an amazing sister, and my four-legged daughter Sadie who brings a smile to my face every time I look in her direction. I am healthy, have dashing good looks according to my mother, and have been lucky enough to be able to do most of what I put my mind to. But why is it always so difficult to see that? Why do I spend more of my time in the shadows of my struggles rather than reveling in the incredible gifts I have been given.

One theory I have heard, and tend to agree with, is that focus on negative aspects of life or situations comes from our survival instinct. Our ancestors may have not had the luxury to go for a stroll in the meadows, head tilted up with eyes closed, warm sun beaming on their face as that would be letting their guard down. That moment of enjoyment could easily lead to peril because of the big, bad monsters hiding in the tall grass looking for a meal. But today we do not have such threats, and our battles are different.

Anyone who knows me knows that I take too much on, and have 101 projects going on at any one time, most in a state that would be characterized as “dormant yet wishful”. I want to work on these things. They all excite me. I know what inspires me and what I am passionate about, but I allow the distractions to seep in under the edges and eventually smother the fire. There is too much to do in a given day, and they typically are filled with the peripheral bullshit rather than the things that inspire drive, satisfaction and accomplishment.

I find that I can often be a nervous ball of worry and angst. Often concerned about the outcome of this that or the other situation. I remember when I lived back in San Francisco seeing a diagram my sister had affixed to her refrigerator with several magnets. I try to visualise this diagram, when I am cogitating some difficult situation or set of circumstances, but admittedly I often get caught in the whirlwind of worry and forget.

Step 1: Do I have a problem in my life? Yes, many.

Step 2: Can I do something about it? Yes. Step 3: The Purge.

Step 4: Not worried anymore and I can focus on what makes me happy.

It is time for a purge so I can move on to Step 4. It is time to focus on the things that bring more joy than stress, and if something brings me stress it sure as hell better be worth it. Although this is more mantra than practice at the moment, this is my goal starting today, and it will be my goal starting tomorrow when I fail today. It is time to strive for and make steps towards pursuing what I want out of life rather than letting it this brief blip in time slip by in a dull gray of meeting my own standard with mediocrity.

Enter Step 3.

What We Do in the Shadows (FX, 27th March).

Continued From Page 24 the main characters, Us is easily the most anticipated film of early 2019, in what guarantees to be another strange journey into Peele’s particularly potent brand of horror (and to think, his Twilight Series reboot hasn’t even debuted yet – it’s going to be a fun year).

Before directing the extravagant, beautiful Thor: Ragnarok in 2017, Taiki Waititi and Flight of the Conchords’ Jemaine Clement wrote and directed a satiric horror mockumentary about a group of vampires sharing a flat in New Zealand – a movie as strange, silly and endearing as it sounds.

Did I also mention it reunites Black Panther co-stars Lupita Nyong’o and Winston Duke as the parents of a family on a tortured beach vacation? There’s so many reasons to be intrigued by this film; early word will be out when it debuts at South by Southwest on March 9, so we won’t have to wait long to find out what strange delights awaits audiences.

Updating the story to take place in New York City, the show will follow around three vampires who have been roommates for centuries. In the titular roles are Kayvan Novak, Natasia Demetriou and Matt Berry, an illustriously British cast of comedy vets, which bodes well for the quirky, off-kilter take on modern vampires the show will try to recapture.

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Up Portland is edited in Portland and printed the last week of every month in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. We may be contacted at the e-mail or phone number below. While every effort is made to ensure accuracy and fairness, the publisher assumes no responsibility for errors. Liability is limited to the cost of said ad. Ads not cancelled by published deadlines may be billed at agreed-upon price.

Ads may be edited or rejected for content at the discretion of the publisher. All items appearing in Up Portland, as well as the name, logos and design are copyright 2019 by BBS, A division of High Speed Delivery Fork Ltd. & Ted Fleischaker and may not be reproduced in any form without prior written approval.

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Hackin’ The Net

By Ted Fleischaker / Publisher It’s dead...and you know it’s dead --- or at least you think it is. No, not your ex or partner or pet, but the computer (or tablet or phone) you likely spend as much time with these days as any of the above. And remember, when it dies it takes a lot of you with it. How and what you do to handle that death can either be a pain, a problem or merely something to be worked through, so this month let’s look at some of the ideas we have for you when the computer or other gadget dies.

First, make sure it really, truly is dead. As is often the case here, one of my neighbours supplied the basis for this column when he handed me what he thought was an expired MacBook on a recent visit and said he was going to toss it.

He had bought a new one to replace it years before, had no use for this one, forgot he even had it “somewhere”, and besides, he said, it was dead. He had no cord for it, anyway, since they quit making that model ages ago and the original was long-lost. All he was after was a decent burial for his old friend.

But not so fast, I told him! The question in my mind first was: is it really (most sincerely) dead? Think of that scene out of The Wizard Of Oz when the coroner of Munchkinland shows up to confirm the witch’s demise. While that’s funny, a dead computer can be way less-so, so let’s look at things.

First of all, you DO have back-ups of your vital data and items you saved for special reasons, right? You did hit save and then backed up things like the Quicken you did your accounts in, your dad’s final e-mails before he died and your will and insurance contacts. If you don’t have these things already, then stop reading and get that done. NOW. It really IS that important.

In today’s age we just “assume” when we save an e-mail or chequebook balance or the address or phone for a long-lost relative that it’s gonna be there when we next boot up. But it doesn’t always work that way. Just as someone can be taken from us by a sudden car wreck, heart attack or catastrophe, the very same can happen to your computer.

It can just die. You know, when nothing happens after you hit that “on” switch and even the best techs can’t bring it back. It could have been fried by a power surge, lighting bolt or any number of things. And that includes things you might not intend to do, but which happen anyway. Our repair sources tell us a surprising number of devices show up with things like cola or red wine in their works.

As we have written before, these usually mark a death sentence for a phone, pad or computer.

But if it’s ancient, it could just die at home in bed (or its case) of old age. In any case, with no back-ups you will be stuck, regardless of the cause of death, so (to harp on this as I frequently do) back up that info right now, if you do not routinely do so.

There are some really cheap and decent terabyte and bigger external drives. Buy one and back up your data. Go a step further, too: things you REALLY need or want like tax info, stock portfolios or dad’s final e-mails and photos of long-gone family members should be sent off to the cloud. That way, life or death at your

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end (including something catastrophic like a fire at your house) will mean your data’s safe. Cloud plans start at about $1 a month and go up from there, so consider investing. You’ll thank me later if that saves your data.

Also, think about replacing that old device before its final breath. I have written here before about what I would buy. If you decide now’s the time for a new computer (and in full disclosure I will repeat I’m all Mac and even have a husband who works for them) my choice would clearly be sportin’ an Apple on the case.

But since I wrote about this before there has been a game-changer: a lot of friends say they do not want another desktop or laptop computer at all — they want an iPad or one of the iPad clones which have flooded the market. They are often convinced (correctly, I might add) that they can do almost everything on one they now do on their bulky old computer — and usually they can.

The neighbour with the computer he handed me has a newer, faster laptop, but his wife uses an iPad for everything. Asked if she wanted this computer if it can be saved, she frowned and said she didn’t have any use for one. And she’s right, for while some very technical things (like laying out a newspaper requiring a big screen or bookkeeping using some complex accounting software) work better on a real computer, there’s not a lot you cannot do nowadays on a pad, or even a smartphone if you have good eyes.

OK, so about replacing that dead computer... The big thing to consider first is what do you want or need to do? Do you want to read the morning paper or keep your small business books? Are you looking for iTunes music or Netflix movies or do you want to put together a newspaper like this one?

There are a lot of considerations, but no right or wrong answers: what works for you might not work for others, so give it all some serious thought then try out some devices and see what you need or want. That’s going to also have some impact on what you spend: two figures, three or four are all options.

But back on topic: Assume you have decided a new laptop or desktop is what you want or need. Be sure first that programmes you own will work on the new machine or be prepared to replace them. When we updated the operating system on our gear last year, we suddenly found there were no drivers for our scanner, which rendered it a boat anchor. And worse yet, the firm which made it said they have no plans for new drivers “because that’s a 10-year-old model.”

Translation: did we really need a scanner anymore? With the changes in technology, the answer was happily “no”, but again, your response might not be so easy.

Some friends do not own printers anymore, while others couldn’t imagine life without. Each choice is as individual a consideration as what type underwear you choose.

Next, however, is the big issue: how to get that data off the old and onto the new computer? You can take the old one in and for a fee (often a hefty one) there are professionals who will transfer your data, IF that old system still is breathing. But if you did your back-ups correctly, that data transfer should be a piece of cake to do yourself.

Just take your time. There is a ton of help online — whether you choose pc or Mac — and a lot of YouTube videos which will even guide you step-by-step. Also, most of us have a “techie friend” who will (for a few beers and a pizza) come spend the afternoon doing that transfer with you. Note I said “with” not “for” you! Plan on helping and advising as this is free help! You can also check with AppleCare, the local computer shop or any number of sources.

You also — in any case — should not miss a chance to do some housekeeping when moving to your new device. Throw out those listings in your address book of folks you don’t ever see or need anymore. I found two cousins who died in the 90s and folks I worked with in Kentucky in the 80s when I did this. Delete

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the 1992 tax information which is long, long past the IRS audit window. Throw away those saved passwords and items from the AOL mail you dropped in 2002 and the electric company you used to use when you lived in Indiana.

Just like that junk drawer in the kitchen or that extra closet in the guestroom, things that take up space, but that we never will use anymore should get tossed.

Don’t copy them on to a fresh hard drive and take up space there. Trust me — a major packrat — when I say it’s amazing how much room I was wasting that I never realised was being used by my “trash”.

Next, after the transfer and updates are complete give everything a run-through or have your techie friend or the folks at the store do it while you are present.

This is an obvious thing many folks forget. Once you are in the new system it HAS to open the applications and once open they must function correctly. Do not wait until you need to compose a document to find out Word can’t find your dictionary or templates or that your passwords will not save and must be re-entered every time you want to open anything. Make sure that “keychain” is set up correctly and that you have the versions of software your new device requires.

Be warned! This might mean digging into your wallet or purse for an update.

Our out-dated InDesign programme just would not function on our new Mac. And they no longer sell it: Adobe now “rent” it thru what they call the Creative Cloud, meaning we replaced a costly programme with a monthly fee to use the new one. Down-side is that fee. Up-side: we always have the latest, most current working version on hand; saving time when we do layouts.

Anyway, be sure all the little (and I mean tiny in some cases) extras work right for you to smile when you use that new system. One toggle out of place or one file forgotten can mean hours of frustration, so be sure you get it right or get it done right for you. And check it a time or two to be sure. You may be aggravated feeling you are “wasting time” then, but you’ll thank me later!

Oh, and do not forget one final step: Decide what you are doing with the old computer, pad or phone and then do it after you make certain your personal data is not still present.

Remember that neighbour with the MacBook? We found we had a plug which would make it work in our “junk drawer”, and we did so. After looking things over carefully, he decided he’d invest in a new battery for it, along with some memory updates. That would allow the system to be brought current and it would make a great starter computer for his grandkids to use. Total cost of updates and battery: Under $200.

If you have no grandkids or really, really do not want a device you are replacing, please recycle it, so like a body goes ashes to ashes and dust to dust, you can enrich the earth by not just trashing that old gear. Remove and shred or destroy the old hard drive so nobody can find your data. If you are donating it to a charity or recycling it, be sure all your data is wiped clean by reformatting the hard drive. There are hundreds of special programmes out there to do this, so either get and use one or be 100% sure your shop or tech does if they are not removing the drive entirely and destroying it.

Remember, too, that many computers and phones can also be “mined” for their valuable components. Apple, especially, will give a trade-in for things which still turn on and work, and will take back anything which does not operate to reuse any parts they can. Even the aluminium case will get melted down and reused, so be kind to the environment when you are really ready to hold a wake for that old gear. Then enjoy having the latest and greatest to use.

It will not only work well... but you will feel good, too. And to that friend’s grandkids: enjoy your new computer --- time you get it, it will have had a brain “transplant” and new battery to make its heart beat again, just like new.

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Lots of reasons for March treats!

Mardi Gras — Tuesday, March 5 Pie Day — Thursday, March 14 St. Patrick’s Day — Sunday, March 17 Purim — Thursday, March 21 Maine Maple Syrup month — Every day in March!

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Portland — 47 India Street 207.347.5144 Tuesday–Saturday 8am-5pm Sunday 8am-4pm

Have fun on St. Patrick’s Day — Take our pie making class Sunday, March 17, 1-3pm For ages 16+ Call 207.536.7713 to register

South Portland — 740 Broadway 207.536.7713 Tuesday–Saturday 8am-5pm

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