Up Portland May 2018

MAY 2018

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Politicos And Places Welcome back to Up Portland’s monthly crossword. We took a month off to do some searching around and found out this is a popular feature, so it’s returned literally “by popular demand.” And this time, it’s all about a variety of things political: from the governor’s house to the ballot box and from city hall to our nation’s capital.

You’ll find a lot of familiar (and maybe a few not-so) words here, all having to do with the folks, places and things which make up politics here in Maine... and be sure you put on that thinking cap, since while some are as easy as casting a ballot on election day, others are a bit more difficult --- like trying to figure out which of those similarly numbered ballot measures and propositions you are for and which you oppose.

Sharpen your pen or pencil and as always, comments are welcome at ted@upportland. com and the solution (no peeking) is on Page 22. Oh, and above all, let’s have a clean election!

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Processed Media

By Randy Dankievitch — TV Editor of Goomba Stomp

Sony’s God of War: A Bombastic Franchise Grows Up In many ways, Sony’s God of War series feels like a gaming relic: a symbol of a hyper masculine era of action protagonists from the turn of the century.

A violent tale of vengeance pitting a demigod against the giants of Greek mythology, God of War’s main character Kratos was the super muscled, raging icon of male angst.

Technically ambitious, Shakespearean in scope, God of War always felt inches away from being a great series, eventually devolving into bloodstained madness as the series continued on past its prime, both in terms of its game play elements, and its epic, though ultimately superficial, narrative (though the main plot takes place across three games, there were a total of seven games set in the Greek world between 2005 and 2013).

on a Playstation 4 Pro running at 4K , this is the best looking game I’ve ever played) and its narrative ambition. God of War is the reflection of a game industry as it matures into adulthood, and all that comes with that realisation: coming to terms with one’s failures, learning to deal with the everlasting pangs of grief that come from inevitable loss; and most importantly, finding a way to channel one’s failures, hopes, and most cherished values onto another human being, one whose very life and soul you fight to protect every day. God of War is a game about fatherhood, and one of the more powerful virtual depictions to find its way to a console.

Of course, there’s plenty of bombast to God of War. God of War also reinvents its combat, in a way that is doubly satisfying: it is an absolute blast to play (think Dark Souls mixed with Batman combat, with an axe that behaves like Thor’s hammer), and it matches the narrative weight with the same feeling of consequence and decisiveness. If the old button-mashing combat of God of War past served as a parallel to the thin, skull-rattling characterisations, this God of War’s tactical axe-swinging and fist fighting serves as a proxy for the game’s heavy, brutal storytelling.

For about 30-35 hours (nearly three times the length of God of War III, by comparison), God of War follows Kratos and Atreus’s adventures to the highest mountain in the nine realms without cutting the camera away once – an intense decision that complicates the game on just about every level (I cannot imagine what a nightmare that must’ve been to programme – shout out to all the developers on this game who crunched for months to make the game this seamless). The focus is never off Kratos, the camera ever present behind his

When Sony announced God of War would be returning, and no longer set in the world of Mt. Olympus, the announcement was met equally with anticipation and frustration. The return of original series director Cory Barlog also seemed a gift and the curse: while setting the new game in the world of Norse mythology (you know, Thor, Loki, Baldr, Odin... all that good stuff) opened the door for plenty of new storytelling opportunities, would those all just be in service of another empty tale of vengeance and blood lust? It seemed below Sony, who’d shown their chops in abandoning the standard testosterone narratives for new stories like The Last of Us, Uncharted 4 (plus its sequel, The Lost Legacy), and Horizon: Zero Dawn.

In the time between Kratos’s heyday on the PS3 and 2018, the game industry went through a major generational turnover – and with that, those already entrenched in the industry grew up. It’s been 13 years since Kratos made his twin-blade slinging, god-killing debut on the Playstation 2; games not only play differently (and look a whole lot nicer), but the narrative expectations of a major AAA game are much different. How would Cory Balrog and the 300+ people working on this God of War be able to recapture the magic, without feeling like a complete retread of gaming’s past?

The answer is in the timeline itself; the developers of God of War have grown up, and this game is a major reflection of that maturity, in every creative and technical aspect imaginable. Rather than a story about revenge or murder, God of War tells a story of self-realisation – and perhaps more importantly, grief.

Set amongst the world of Midgard, God of War finds an older, more despondent Kratos living out his life in a small cabin, away from the wars of the cruel gods of any realm with his wife and son. When his wife passes, however, Kratos finds himself ward to a son he barely knows, aware of the responsibility he has to raise the boy, and what that means, knowing his son Atreus is the son of a god, and therefore heir to the life of pain, suffering, and blood Kratos has lived.

In doing so, Santa Monica Studio has delivered the best single-player game so far in this generation of gaming: God of War, despite a few flaws around the edges, is a breathtaking experience, both in its technical mastery (and beauty;

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shoulder as he fights ogres, climbs frozen cliffs – and most importantly, observes his son learning the world of pain and gore Kratos tried so hard to leave behind.

While that intense focus is ultimately a major component of what makes this game click, it does come with its shortcomings; perhaps the most important character of the story (no spoilers, I promise) is never actually given a voice at any point, a vehicle for the stories of Kratos and Atreus than a threedimensional entity in their own right. This is by design, of course; without that absence, there’s no structure for Kratos’s reluctant journey through the realms.

It doesn’t make it any less frustrating, however – and though it isn’t a major blemish, certainly represents a critical missed opportunity for even deeper explorations of the dynamic relationship between father, mother, son, and destiny.

At its absolute core, God of War is the same game it ever was: Kratos smashing in the face of screaming mythical creatures, solving puzzles and opening treasure (always with a satisfying grunt, of course). But this time around, God of War feels like the rare example of a gaming franchise growing up, maturing both its storytelling concepts and its technical design into a much more cohesive, emotionally engaging gaming experience. God of War is perhaps the finest game of the generation, a cinematic, resonant tale of loss and fatherhood, that finds harmony between its narrative and technical ambitions in ways rarely seen in modern gaming.

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Hackin’ The Net

that they are from 207/XXX-4787. One of my numbers ends in 4877 so a quick glance would convince me it’s my number or one close-by when it’s really that obnoxious “Jennie from cardholder services” or the dude about my non-existent Windows OS. Hang up immediately if they do fool you into answering, but your best bet is don’t answer any number you don’t know. Send it to voice mail (which fakers do not leave) or wait five minutes and call it back. If it’s your friend for real you should have his number in your directory and his name will show. If it’s a fraud call, likely they will have moved on and you will get a disconnected notice or “fast busy” meaning the number doesn’t really exist.

By Ted Fleischaker / Publisher Two different topics this month, so let’s see what’s been in the Hackin’ The Net question box: ---Have you had one of “the” calls? I got two in the past few weeks and one of my neighbours stopped me in the hall and asked because he got one, too.

What are “the” calls?

Those are the increasing number of fake ones which try and get you to divulge a credit card number or other personal information while claiming to be from (usually, but not always) Microsoft and announcing in grave tones that “Your Windows user key has expired and your computer will no longer be working...”

That is generally followed by the “terrible” things which will (supposedly) happen if you do not immediately give the caller (almost always in heavily accented English) the credit card and other info he wants. And be quick about it!

The calls are, of course, fakes. They are just another batch of the same fraudsters who e-mail, send pop-ups while you and I are browsing and otherwise concern many who e-mail this column asking about them.

First, lets be logical: How would anybody know what the operating system (OS) on your computer is? How would they know if you even HAVE a computer, since many friends and neighbours surf, e-mail and function quite well with phones, tablets and other devices nowadays? And finally how often do you hand out your phone number when registering a computer online? E-mail, most always, but phone? Not so much.

I always try (if I have the time) to play along with these fakes just to amuse myself, waste their time and see what the latest “pitch” is so I can inform friends and readers who, I am pleased to say, stop me to ask if I am aware of this of that call, e-mail or pop-up. I love to finally, when the fraudsters are all set to “make the sale” after a few minutes tell them that “the only windows at my house are those I open to let air and light in as I have an Apple computer and do not use Windows OS!” If they hang up then (most do) I get a good chuckle. If not, I usually toss in a few four-letter words about how they have wasted my time and I end the call.

And finally on the fraud topic, watch out for things like that above, which was posted by a friend on Facebook recently. Check that out. It’s the same ole fraud thing, but it just took a different approach because they claimed to have the first four digits of her VISA number. She did the right thing: hung up, called VISA and then when the fraudsters called back said she’d already checked, so they hung up. Why? Because they knew she was onto them and they’d not be getting any ill-gotten gains there. Be aware: Fraud is everywhere!

---I keep getting questions about online and text etiquette... and I see a lot of gaffes, too. As both texting and e-mailing have evolved over the years the rules (or lack thereof) seem to get fuzzier and fuzzier. I should remind you to say or do nothing in a text or e-mail you would not do or say to the person (or persons) you are sending it to in person, but that would be far too simplistic.

And in this “wild west” of few or no rules, often governed by the under-30s, it gets more complex.

But regardless, it’s all fake. Same as the proliferation in Maine right now of calls supposedly from “your bank” wanting personal information. Stop and think about that. Why would your bank (or the power company or a credit card firm) ever call and ask the info they already have? If it’s really your bank, they have all that on file and would never call to check or ask for it. Same with the IRS, Social Security, insurance or other firms you do business with being spoofed right now.

One topic I always scratch my head over is who gets the last word when texting.

Many of my friends and acquaintances feel that they need, as in must have, that final word, whether it be an actual word or be an emoji, photo or some such. I personally find the growing rush to emojis to be obnoxious, but I know many embrace them. At least one friend cannot finish a chat with his mother (and they text several times a day) until she and he have an “emoji contest” and one finally quits. It seems a waste though if he has time, he finds it funny.

If you get such a call, hang up. Then, if you really are concerned, call the organisation they pretended to be from and ask if they called. 100% they confirm they did not.

There are also those who INSIST THAT ALL E-MAIL CORRESPONDENCE BE WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS AND FAIL TO UNDERSTAND THIS IS THE ON-LINE EQUIVALENT TO SHOUTING AND A MAJOR BREACH OF ETIQUETTE! Seriously. These same people often type in red, say “URGENT” on e-mails about marginally important topics and just fail to get it.

And watch, too, for spoof phone numbers on your cell or caller ID. Those fakers are getting smarter and often will send info that will convince your caller ID they are calling from a neighbouring phone. I routinely get numbers showing

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I frequently remind a few people I work with that all caps will get not more, but

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often less attention, and that shouting from the on-line rooftop every e-mail will put them in the same league as the boy who cried “wolf” so often that nobody believed him when a real wolf came to town.

I understand when the person e-mailing might be too young or too old to get the basics, but for the vast majority of folks, that all caps and “urgent” stuff are inexcusable. Period. Full stop.

So what if you have a real emergency and something is urgent? Sure, send that e-mail, but do so in what we journalists call “CLC”, which stands for caps and lower case. Then do something too few of the younger folks, especially, will these days: Pick up that phone and call. Tell the person whatever the news might be or that they are getting a really urgent e-mail with info you’d like responded to ASAP. There’s nothing wrong with using that phone to actually talk on... tempting as it may be to text, e-mail and then respond with another text.

Times have changed a lot in the past quarter century. I was reminded of this graphically on the 7th of April.

That was the 25th anniversary of my mother’s death and just like I recall where I was and what I was doing when JFK was shot, I graphically recall that afternoon, way before cell phones, returning home from errands to a half dozen phone messages on my answering machine (remember those?) from my sister in Florida to call her NOW because it was urgent. I returned the messages and indeed it was the sad, but urgent, news letting me know mom had died of a stroke.

My point in telling this is that the messages have not changed: just the media.

And whether we are listening to radio or watching a movie or chatting with a friend or getting news --- urgent or not --- on a computer or phone or tablet, the end result is the same. I know my sister did not scream at my answering machine and I did not yell at an associate I used to do some work with who most always replied in caps.

Remember that we (all of us) are the messengers, so we need to make good, polite and efficient use of the tools handed us ... really!

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Eric’s Optimal Corner Michael Elliot / Optimal Self Community Health and Wellness Center My name is Michael Elliot and I teach Vitality T’ai Chi here at Optimal Self Community Health and Wellness Centre Saturdays at noon. I have practiced T’ai Chi for almost 50 years. During this time, T’ai Chi has taken me many places and I have taken T’ai Chi to just as many. Here is a bit about my journey, combined with a little history and little bit about how I teach Vitality T’ai Chi. I began my practice of T’ai Chi during the late Summer of 1970 by watching a professional mime do a beautifully choreographed 37 posture version of the Cheng Man Ch’ing form: very little T’ai Chi had been seen at that time. Asking to learn the rudiments I was soon left with a book (T’ai Chi, The Supreme Ultimate Exercise for Health, Sport and Self-Defence by Cheng Man Ch’ing and Robert W. Smith), and plenty of time to work my bio-mechanical ‘layers’ past the outer shell of conditioning and into the genius of the 37 posture form itself.

By 1974 I had a rough self-taught version of T’ai Chi Ch’aun and could actually sense the stirring of Chi in my system. The outer was beginning to reflect the inner, a new world was opening up, and I found myself guided to a ballet studio outside Washington D.C., where the author of the text (Robert W. Smith) was giving classes on the 37 postures. In addition, the classes provided a support group of classmates where we could all practice Tui Shou (Push-hands) and Da Lu (moving push hands).

After a few years of these marvelous sessions I continued my basic practice of this form, adding small pointers to my practice for the next 20 years, and moving four times around the East Coast. With a radical shift in circumstances in 1998, there was a move to Chicago where more outer layers were slowly stripped away with a concomitant concentration of Ch’i in the system: my first new teachers in two decades appeared (Peter & Hau Kum Kneipp) with a full supply of Yang family forms (‘godfather’ to Cheng’s 37 posture forms) and insights.

Now it should be understood that the Yang family traditions are very much the ‘gold standard’ for universal availability in the world, and it is also important to take early caution never to embrace one style as better than another: with good teachers it is “all T’ai Chi!” With this perspective firmly in place the most common result from any style was agility well into ones’ 80’s & 90’s and even beyond.

Witness Wu Tu Nan’s T’ai Chi at 100 on YouTube.

Once layers of conditioning have been peeled away (traditionally a minimum of 10 years) the student can begin to incorporate the martial aspects, paradoxically stepping on the path of longevity at the same time. For example, certain applications such as “Needle to the Sea Bottom” act as both an effective pull-down, and a method for opening the Ming Men (“Gate of Life” in the lower back); in tandem with the breath and the “seat of Chi” inches below the navel. A whole system is revealed.

“In general, the practice of Tai Chi Chuan elevates the heart rate, strengthens the blood vessels and arteries, imparts greater muscle tone throughout the body, increases balance and centering, improves posture, reduces stress, improves mobility, relieves pain, builds energy and reduces fatigue,” Richard A. Peck wrote in 1988.

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All of the so called “secret practices” of nei gong or internal styles have their overshadowing in Chinese Medicine, and even further back it is the distilled wisdom of the I Ching and Tao Te Ching that must be given a modicum of attention.

Here the community aspect is important, creating a dojo-style environment available for the discussion and distillation of new ideas. Traditionally most serious T’ai Chi groups in China & Taiwan have had the designation of “research society” made a part of their public persona. Going back to early China the basic matrix for community is found in the 2nd hexagram where “Homeland” transforms into “Heartland”, and gives rise to the partner practices of push hands and Ta Lu. Here is the opportunity to “Channel the Hearts Feeling” in the guise of a martial practice.

The final stage of Vitality T’ai Chi is Play, which by many accounts (see Huizinga’s Homo Ludens) is the most basic instinct of the human family, and indeed all mammalian forms. If the T’ai Chi form is the most naturally constructed and martially choreographed set of movements yet to emerge (T’ai Chi translates as “Grand” or “Supreme Ultimate”), then it follows that here is the vehicle in which the play instinct can flourish most readily and fully.

And here we come full circle to agility and community per se. A study done with a division 2 Basketball team (Winona State) went thus: the team was taught the Cheng Man Ch’ing 37 posture form as a cool down from regular practice. The result was an absence of significant injuries and a corresponding statistically measurable rise in team defence.

In essence, the cultivation of Chi after practice lent itself superbly to on-court performance while protecting the outer and more fragile muscular-skeletal system. Or, as Huizinga says in his preface on this most basic instinct: “.....it was not my object to define the place of play among all the other manifestations of culture, but rather to ascertain how far culture itself bears the character of play.”

And as most practitioners say: Play T’ai Chi!

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cPort Topped Out In The Old Port With the final beam being placed recently at Middle and India streets, cPort Credit Union is fast heading for their new home in the Old Port. The location, by Micucci’s and Duckfat, will provide local residents and members with more customer service options within the Old Port. When completed, there will be four floors, all built using Maine-based contractors. The first and second floors will be the branch and an additional two floors will be a condominium.

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Sauntering With Mat

By Mat Robedee / Up Portland Commentator

Portland Trails is a non-profit urban land trust that maintains hiking, walking and biking trails throughout Greater Portland. These incredible networks of trails and green spaces connect people with the natural beauty around the city.

I have written several Up Portland articles about my appreciation for Portland’s trail systems and my deep love for biking them all to near exhaustion. Due to this, I am asked on a regular basis where the best trails are for hiking near Portland.

Many seek a quick getaway without the hassle of driving an hour or battling tourist traffic in season. My recommended “go to” place for a quick escape from the city is the Presumpscot River Preserve. The natural beauty in such close proximity to the city makes it a truly unique experience.

The Presumpscot is a 25.8 mile-long river that flows from Sebago Lake to Casco Bay. This river was once swift moving and rocky-sided; flowing with might from Sebago to the sea.

Unfortunately, due to man-made and natural changes, the river has been significantly subdued.

For 268 years the dam blocked fish passage, resulting in the destruction of ecosystems and diminishment of food sources for Native Americans and settlers.

But there is a happy ending here. In 2001 a 48-acre public nature preserve was created by the efforts of Portland Trails and the City of Portland Landbank Commission. Soon after, in the fall of 2002, the Smelt Hill Dam was removed allowing the river to flow freely once again.

With the dam gone, the Presumpscot Falls returned, looking exactly as they did when the river flowed free in 1734. Today, the River Preserve lies on both sides of the historical dam site, which also includes the falls.

And those falls are certainly a “must see” in Portland. On many Summer days I will make a trek there for the day, then lay out on a warm, flat rock in the sun

The main reason for this is damming the river.

Currently eight dams still exist along the Presumpscot, which dramatically alter the river.

What was once a free flowing waterway is now a slow moving series of ponds, void of cold water and migratory fish.

Additionally, the once picturesque rapids and waterfalls, iconic to the area, are now flooded.

One of the most noteworthy alterations to the river came began in 1734 after the Smelt Hill Dam was constructed at the head of tide (the farthest point upstream where a river is affected by tidal fluctuations). This was the first dam in Maine, built by Colonel Westbrook, and was established at a burly set of rapids and waterfalls called Presumpscot Falls.

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while reading a book, all the while listening to the roaring falls in the background.

The air is fresh, and on occasion mist from the river catches a slight breeze, carrying it over your sun-soaked skin. Granted, the falls are the main attraction to the Preserve, but there is certainly much more to see.

Of course I could give directions and offer specific details toward finding the many “secret spots” that keep drawing me back, but where is the fun in that?

You’ll need to explore and find your very own special and “secret spots” and then you will know where to go.

So if you have not been yet to the Presumpscot River Preserve, do yourself a favour - check out Portland Trails website at trails.org for more information, including digital maps and ways to support their efforts by donation.

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Beyond The Forecast

By Jack Sillin / Weatherman & Meterology Student Hello everyone!

As we move farther into Spring, a number of important changes are underway in the atmosphere. We start to get warmer days, less chilly nights, and our storms transition from powerful Nor’easter behemoths to poorly organised conglomerations of rain showers. This month’s Beyond The Forecast column will discuss the reason behind the last point --- why the nature of our storms changes with the seasons.

If you remember from my column on the dynamics of Nor’easters from a few months ago, you’ll recall that Nor’easters, like any explosive release of energy, need both fuel and a spark.

Nor’easters are fueled by something called baroclinic potential energy. This is the potential energy that’s stored up in a temperature gradient. The more dramatically the temperature changes over a certain distance, the stronger the temperature gradient will be, and the more fuel will be available for Nor’easters.

For storms that impact Maine, this temperature gradient forms between the waters of the Gulf Stream and the air over the North American continent.

the strongest portion of that baroclinic gradient is. In the Winter, when cold temperatures spread south from the Arctic, the area with the strongest temperature gradient becomes the mid latitudes, which is where Maine is located. As a result, the jet will set up in the mid latitudes, and its pipeline of disturbances will be focused there.

In the Summer, the whole process occurs in reverse, with the Arctic warming to a few degrees above freezing, which weakens the baroclinic gradient, and thus the Polar jet.

As warm temperatures flow northward from the tropics, the location of the greatest gradient shifts north into the high latitudes, where the presence of sea ice in the Arctic Ocean will prevent temperatures from ever getting much above 40 degrees, even in the height of Summer. As the area with the strongest gradient shifts north, and the magnitude of that gradient lessens, the Polar jet shifts north and weakens accordingly.

Now that you know a little bit more about the two main ingredients that need to be combined for Nor’easters to form, and how their characteristics shift with the seasons, you can understand why we get strong Nor’easters in the cold season, and why the storms we see in the Spring and Summer are typically much weaker.

Enjoy the nicer days and quieter weather, we’ll be talking about Summer thunderstorms before you know it!

Jack

Because water doesn’t warm or cool as fast as air and the waters of the Gulf Stream are warm year-round, fluctuating usually right around 70 degrees, the air over North America on the other hand is key.

It can range from 0 degrees during an Arctic cold snap in January to 90 degrees during a July heat wave. If we need the difference in temperature between the air and the water to be large to fuel Nor’easters, it makes sense that those storms can only form when there’s cold air available over North America.

The energy portion of the Nor’easter ingredient list also changes with the seasons. In the cold season (October-April), the Polar jet stream drifts south from the Arctic down towards the mid latitudes (Maine). The Polar jet is important because it’s never a perfectly uniform stream of air.

Because the jet passes over mountain ranges when it traverses places like Russia and Alaska, there are parts of the jet that have locally enhanced wind speeds, as well as enhanced rotational energy. These are called “disturbances”, and they provide the spark needed to unleash the baroclinic potential energy stored up along the coast.

The Polar jet also depends on baroclinic potential energy to function. This temperature gradient is much larger in scale than the one we look to for the development of specific storms, though. The baroclinic gradient that fuels the Polar jet is the contrast between the warm temperatures of the tropics and the colder temperatures of the Arctic.

The tropics remain at a constant temperature throughout the year, so the gradient depends on how cold the Arctic is. In the winter, the Arctic dramatically cools, with temperatures dipping well below zero. This strengthens the baroclinic gradient across the Northern Hemisphere, thus strengthening the Polar jet, and the disturbances embedded within it.

Another important thing to note is that the Polar jet will be located wherever

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Jack’s Weather Terms To help you with your weather understanding, here are a couple of meteorological terms. If you have any to suggest for future months, drop me a line via Up Portland’s website at www.upportland.com Cutoff low: Cutoff lows are a phenomenon we sometimes experience here in Maine, where an area of low pressure will sit around for days, bringing cloudy skies and areas of fog/rain as in the photo at left.

The term cutoff comes from the reason behind their annoying longevity: the fact that they are “cut off” from the larger jet stream, which typically ushers storm systems along quickly.

When a storm cuts off from the jet, there’s nothing to steer it, so it sits around until the jet pattern shifts, or until it simply spins itself out.

Drizzle: Drizzle is a term used to describe precipitation where the size of the water droplets is very small. Drizzle is different from fog, because the water has coalesced into liquid drops large enough to fall to the ground. However it is also different from rain because the drops are too small to have fallen from the mid/ upper levels.

Drizzle forms when the precipitation-producing layer is in the lower atmosphere, and thus the raindrops don’t have enough time to get big enough to count as raindrops.

You can also think of the difference between fog, drizzle, and rain in terms of how it would feel to be outside in each condition.

Go outside in fog and you might be a little damp, but otherwise dry.

Go outside in drizzle, and after a while you’ll be pretty damp, but likely not soaked through.

Go outside in rain though, and you’ll be soaked!

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Peninsula’s Bakers Rising To The

India Street’s Two Fat Cats Has SoPo ‘Kitten’; Forget Foley’s --- It’s Scattolini Now; Stand To say that the bakery scene in downtown Portland is “flouring” is an understatement. Between branching out, blossoming with a new name and making national food news, the folks who make the breads, bagels, pies and cream horns, as well as some of the country’s best other goodies are in the forefront right now... just in time for peak season to hit Maine from late May thru Columbus Day. So while most visitors get off ships, out of cars and step down from the Downeaster or bus searching for the town’s best lobster, after they have their main courses and before they finish their day here with a nationally-famous gelato from Gelato Fiasco over on Fore Street, it’s a bakery they are after. Here are just a few of the bakery news items we at Up Portland could find on a recent walk around, so heads up... maybe you can beat the crowds due soon.

THOSE CATS ARE FATTER! The Old Port’s nationally-famous Two Fat Cats Bakery on India street has had a “kitten”. Well, not exactly a kitten, but owners Stacy Begin, and her husband Matt Holdbrook, have taken over the lease for what was the South Portland branch of Saco’s Fernleaf Bakery at 740 Broadway, across the road from Easy Day. And they have not been too catty about the changes. From the new name (Two Fat Cats, of course) to all of the bakery’s India Street specialties and more, it’s now available in South Portland.

Talking to Stacy recently about the expansion, she was quick to note that Two Fat Cats has absolutely no intention of leaving the bakery’s birthplace and home, since 2006, on India Street.

“The second location actually just fell into our laps,” she said. “We had long been looking for additional kitchen and storage space, especially for our busiest times like Thanksgiving. Our counsellor at the Service Corps of Retired Executives (SCORE) knew that and heard Fernleaf’s space was going to be available. One can almost never find a turn-key bakery, but here one was. It has ovens, baking equipment and showcases. It’s close to a busy road; it’s not far from our base across the bridge on India Street; and it’s not too far from where I live,” she said while ticking off the advantages of the space.

Food For Thought...

But while listing those plusses, the change meant that Two Fat Cats had to go out into what’s a difficult labour market and find staff to make not one, but two locations work almost non-stop in time for season. “We were fortunate to locate Tom Williams, who came to us from the Miss Portland Diner and is our new bakery manager over both locations,” she said, while describing her staff as a whole in superlatives like “outstanding” and “fantastic” and “dependable”.

Photo: Christina Wnek Photography

But Stacy, always the realist, added, “even with a second kitchen and the extra space, we will still need more of both for the really busy times, but this is a step in the right direction.”

So what will customers, used to Two Fat Cats on India Street, at right, find when they stop by in South Portland? For one thing: parking and plenty of it. While the original has a few spaces shared with Lois’ Natural Market and some pay street parking up for grabs with customers of East Ender and Duckfat, the new bakery has a huge free parking lot.

Customers will find the same bakery menu India Street offers, including Two Fat Cats number one best seller: Chocolate Whoopie Pies. Stacy noted that their version of Maine’s official dessert is a bit less sweet than others, which she feels makes a lot of people crave theirs.

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Occasion Just In Time For Season

dard’s ‘Well-Bread’ Baker Heads For Beard Awards; Union Bagel Rises On Veranda Street But while the whoopies, the myriad of pies, cakes and other items will be similar to those served on India Street, Stacy did point to a couple differences. One is a small seating area where customers can relax with a mug of coffee and piece of pie. She was quick to say, “we do not want to become a restaurant or cafe because everywhere else is, but we are serving pieces of pie on real plates with mugs of coffee.” In addition, the SoPo Two Fat Cats has a “kids corner,” which will make it welcoming for families. And she added, “we may add a grab-and-go as our take-home items have done well on India Street.” She mentioned the long-time Pot Pies Two Fat Cats offers in cooler weather, as well as macaroni and cheese casserole with bacon to take home, heat and serve, which recently made an appearance.

“We are happy with the convenience of the second bakery, but we hope in time to make it feel like and be Two Fat Cats. Our original is like stepping into a working kitchen, because it is just that, and we are going for that same thing here, though parking, air conditioning and a place to sit will make this more of a neighbourhood meeting place. Keep in mind that we have always been a little bit funky --- not bright and shiny, because that’s who we are at Two Fat Cats.”

Asked if there was anything we missed asking, Stacy smiled and repeated something she’d already told us: “I want to be sure people know we have no plans to leave India Street. We have two years remaining on our lease there and hope the landlord will want us to stay beyond that. South Portland is a branch and additional space we need between all our own pie and cake orders, and the wholesale business we do in Southwest Maine. Remember that Maine is a buy local state and we are blessed to be close to farms and suppliers which has really caught on.”

Hours for the two locations are different with India Street open seven days from 8 a.m. till 6 p.m. weekdays, till five on Saturdays and 4 p.m. Sundays. SoPo is open Tuesdays thru Fridays from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m., Saturdays from 8 a.m. till 5 p.m. and Sunday mornings from 8 till noon. They are closed Mondays. More info at www.twofatcatsbakery.com FORGET FOLEY’S! THE NAME’S CHANGING !

Monument Way’s Foley’s Gourmet Bakery is about to be no more! But before you dash in for a farewell cupcake or cream horn or three, know that only the sign company is going to be doing anything differently at this wonderful Monument Square outpost of cakes, cupcakes, cream horns, cinnamon rolls and more: Andrea (below) and Daniel Swanson and their great crew (above left) are not going anywhere. But the Swansons are changing the long-time name to Scattolini Bakery in honour of Andrea’s maiden (family) name and to complete a process they began in 2014 when they bought the place from Ed Foley, whose name has remained on the door up to this point.

“We decided the time had come to make a name change because while we are doing all of Ed’s long-time specialties, we have added and continue to add so much to the menu that we have grown beyond just Foley’s to something more,” Andrea said recently.

Many of the additions are, she confessed, “not things Ed would have done or ever would do,” from cooking classes, which sell out almost as fast as they are announced, to a lunch menu which includes savouries (to go with the sweets), quiche, sandwiches and soups.

The latest menu addition, which showed up last week, is a “420 cookie”. While it doesn’t contain anything illegal or hallucinogenic, it does contain what Andrea says “are all the things you’d eat after you got high and had the munchies --- from sweets to savouries and back --- all in one cookie!”

The complete content list includes pretzels, corn chips, Humpty Dumpty BBQ Chips, peanut butter Please Continue On The Next Page

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More Food For Thought...

Continued From The Previous Page M&Ms, potato stix, white and milk chocolate chunks. F.Y.I. the bakery does not sell pot or pipes, but this reporter’s old college days question of “Hey man... got any papers?” did get a huge laugh from Daniel at the register.

While making menu additions, staff expansions and changes have also influenced the bakery and helped to convince the Swansons it was time to call in the sign company. Manda Lynn Fleshman (below), who was the baker and manager at Portland Pottery Cafe on Washington Avenue was such an enthusiastic baking class student that Andrea offered her a position. In turn, she was so pleased with what was going on to make quality baked goods at the bakery that she brought along much of her old staff as well.

AND STILL MORE OF OUR BREAD & BUTTER NEWS Congrats to Commercial Street’s Alison Pray, one of the owners of Standard Baking Company, on being named a finalist for the 2018 James Beard Awards.

She and her staff were packing their bags as of presstime for a trip to Chicago in May to cheer on the only Maine contestant still standing in the final round.

Good luck to her and to her and her staff we can only say: keep on making Portland’s best challahs, English muffins, Morning Buns and baguettes. Just to name a few of the selections.

Also, congrats to the crew at Union Bagel (whose bagels we feel are the best in town, despite some other claims) on finally getting their 2nd location on Veranda Street just off I-295 open. The main bakery will be staying in the tiny building at 147 Cumberland Avenue, but with all the wholesale and retail business these days, the firm just needed more baking space, so they gutted and expanded into a former pizza place just across Tukey’s Bridge.

Wherever you get or find them, try one of Union’s “everything” bagels. You won’t be going back to any of those “other guys” we promise!

But while the happy faces have, and continue, to change along with the signs (the sign company was due “any day” when we last stopped by) Andrea said all of the familiar Foley’s items are, and will continue, to headline the menu, as the bakery is expanding into the growing Portland wholesale market and more.

Recently, amongst others, their cream horns, cinnamon rolls and other items began appearing at Freeport’s, Diamond Street’s and India Street’s Coffee By Design locations, along with Maine Roasters and Scarborough’s Piper Shores.

“We continue to emphasise the quality and the look that Ed and his staff did so well for years here, but I like to try new things: often for no rhyme or reason, just to see what people think,” Andrea noted.

Thus far --- from Manda’s gazpacho to those 420 cookies --- not much seems out of bounds and the customers are quite literally eating it up, with any leftovers heading for Preble Street’s shelter.

The hours at Scattolini Bakery will remain the same as when it was Foley’s: Monday thru Friday from 7 a.m. till 4.30 p.m. and Saturdays from 8 a.m. till 3 p.m.

The phone will remain 773.CAKE (2253), too, and the website had not yet changed as of presstime, so www.foleysgourmetbakery.com was still alive and awaiting its new sign, too, though we are told both URLs will work for awhile.

Stop by soon and be sure you grab a cream horn for me, but leave whatever you smoke outside since 420 cookies or not, Scattolini’s will retain Ed’s smoke-free tradition, too.

Page 18

Finally, just a brief restaurant review... I may have used this lead to a restaurant story previously and if that’s the case, do forgive me, but if you are like me, you have places --- restaurants included --- that you drive by day in and day out or week in and week out and always wonder “is that place any good?”

For us, The Foreside Tavern & Sidebar at 270 U.S. 1 in Falmouth was just such a place. We seem to go out U.S. 1 to Freeport a lot. And to drop off Up Portlands at the Maine Visitors’ Centre in Yarmouth. Or to go to the new Ocean State Job Lots in Falmouth. And each time we drove past the Foreside Tavern we wondered (often aloud) “What’s that place like?”

Thus, with that windy prelude, we’ll say we finally made it a point to stop off there and have lunch on a recent Monday. And while the food and service were both a bit better than OK, the “mystery” of the place driving by was a little more exciting than the experience turned out to be in what’s called “real life”.

Now do not get me wrong: The service from Kelsey M (as the receipt called her) was just fine. The Fish & Chips ($14.95), which we both decided to order, were good. But they were good ... not great ... and in this area, where there’s a “great” seafood spot on most every other block, that can spell the difference between

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asking “Will we go back or not?”

Though to be fair, we shudda ordered different lunches as things from burgers to a Craft Beef Stew (with “Spent Grain Buttermilk Biscuits”) and a Grilled Chicken Statler (with Red Onion Marmalade) also sounded quite good and are thus worth a return visit.

So our conclusion? We will be going back again, not driving by, and when we do, we will order different things and report back. Till then all we can say is the place is neat and the food and service more than passable and fairly priced as we both ate for $32 and change. Find out more at www.theforesidetavern.com

And on the menu this month, ever since we wrote last time about French Onion Soup, different folks have stopped us and told us of the ones they liked best.

And while Little Tap House (our top choice) did get a lot of “votes” it appears we have a lot of Onion Soups still to go before we crown our real fave.

On that topic, however, we recently walked in to the Miss Portland Diner on Marginal Way and lo & behold, French Onion Soup was the soup of the day on the chalkboard. Asking staff a bit about it, we found out it’s the recipe and creation of a cook who used to work at Miss Portland, but left and only recently returned. That’s a steaming bowl of it at right, and the biggest thing we can say is asking for it “HOT” got us just what we ordered. Too many places these days (guess due their lawyers’ whines and fears of a suit for causing burns) serve soups lukewarm... but not Miss Portland.

The other big attraction to this soup was that unlike many we have had over the years, the Miss Portland French Onion Soup had a definite sweet taste... not salty.

When we asked about it, we were told that absolutely no sugar is added back in the kitchen, but the natural sweet (afterall, they ARE always listed as “sweet onions”) comes out with the recipe their cook uses. Add to the sweet taste and the hot and fast service the fact that the Miss Portland version of this classic comes priced right at only $5.50 and it’s more than a definite contender for the best in town: Right now, it’s a leader! Head over and try some. Soup’s on!

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The Standard Reviewer

By Andrea Rouda / Up Portland’s Film & Theatre Reviewer

Horror Movies: The Good, The Bad and the Stupid Whatever else it may deliver, a decent horror movie leaves you with a severe case of the willies that lasts a good, long while. In fact, I remember a promo for a movie about to open boasting it was “DISTURBING ENOUGH TO UNSETTLE YOUR SLEEP FOR WEEKS!” Really, is that what we all want? Apparently, yes, since horror movies have been raking in audiences, and dough, since the beginning of time, or at least since French director Georges Melies’ 1896 short, The House of the Devil, credited as being the very first horror movie.

The Shining, released almost 40 years ago, is so much a part of our collective culture that everyone of a certain age knows the meaning of “Red Rum.” Following are reviews of five more recent (and less obvious) takes on the genre. While not strictly horror films, all of them are horrifying in their own way.

A Quiet Place (2018) If you have a heart condition, do not see A Quiet Place -- or if you do, pack your nitroglycerin tablets since it’s hold-your-breath scary. It’s also so unbelievable you’ll spend half your time wondering how this or that thing could possibly happen. The answer: it couldn’t.

The good news is that John Krasinski, TV’s average Joe on The Office, has blossomed into a serious Hollywood player. Besides directing and co-writing the script, he shares star billing with his real-life spouse, British actress Emily Blunt. Mom, Dad and their three kids struggle to survive in a post-apocalyptic world where hideous blind monsters roam the landscape, triggered by sound.

Hence the title, since if you make any noise you are instantly dead meat.

Krasinski cleverly borrows memorable scenes from other scary movies that scored big with the public. There’s the Jurassic Park nail-biter where two kids are trapped inside a car being demolished by a T-Rex. There’s the one from There’s been a long list of fan favourites ever since then. King Kong, Jaws, HalWitness where someone is slowly buried under corn kernels inside a silo. There loween, The Exorcist, Psycho, Night of the Living Dead and The Blair Witch Project are entire chunks from Mel Gibson’s Signs, and, in fact, these monsters might have each earned a distinctive place in film history. be those guys’ cousins: skinny, longlimbed and incredibly flexible. And the enemy’s ultimate downfall is straight is excited to announce out of Mel Brooks’ Mars Attacks.

w o N ! n e p O

Portland Pottery Café

the addition of evening hours Thursday – Sunday.

Chef Brian Grossman has joined our team to offer a new evening endeavor known as Lena’s.

This new venue will offer homemade, traditional Italian Comfort food with specialties to include lasagna, veal and eggplant parmigiana, risotto, hand made pasta, meatballs, cannoli and more! Wine and beer are now available and the food is fantastic.

Hours Thursday through Saturday 5-9 pm Sunday 4-8 pm.

Portland Pottery Café continues with

its usual hours Monday – Sunday. Chef Chris Thurston has just introduced the Fall/Winter menu and there are new salads, sandwiches and small plates to be discovered. Some specials include roasted short ribs with mashed potato, butternut squash and sage risotto, beet salad and of course our continually changing variety of soups, frittatas, and desserts. All of our baked goods are made here in the café.

We hope to see you soon!

Besides giving you the required willies, the script has loopholes big enough to drive a truck through. I was particularly mystified at how mom was able to give birth, all alone, without a peep during her contractions, which lasted about 20 minutes, unlike mine that went on for 23 hours. Wow -- those breathing exercises really worked for her! No clue as to how she cut the umbilical cord, though.

And though old newspaper headlines tell of worldwide destruction, somehow there’s enough electricity to run the dozen TVs and security cameras that dad, a tech genius (along with being a farmer) has rigged up. Where does it come from? Wouldn’t those generators be noisy?

And about those rows of corn perfect for hiding between: since corn is an annual crop and the monsters arrived two years ago, who planted it without a tractor making a lot of noise?

There are more, but the biggest is this: why would anyone fight to stay alive under such circumstances? It’s not like the kids will grow up, go to Disneyland and college, find jobs and get married, etc.

There definitely will not be any

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Christmas! The future looks grim, and that’s on a good day. Still, it’s a great yarn that will keep you riveted -- and also quiet. When I saw it nobody in the theatre dared touch their popcorn.

All Is Lost (2013) Even though I watched this tale of a doomed sailor adrift in the Indian Ocean while sitting on a completely dry couch in my land-locked living room, the tension from the very first moment freaked me out so much that after about an hour I had to turn it off and pray for sleep. But it was so powerful, the next day I awoke thinking about it and finished it off before breakfast.

The film’s only actor, Robert Redford, plays the unlucky victim of his own miscalculations as he attempts to repair a giant hole in his slowly-sinking sailboat.

Without a word of dialogue he is virtually mute, although you can almost hear the director shouting through a bullhorn which emotions to display on his craggy face.

Writer/director (J.C. Chandor) succeeds in making you believe the unfolding disaster is occurring in the open ocean and not in a man-made tank the size of three football fields in Mexico --- the very same tank built to shoot parts of Titanic years ago.

With a haunting musical score, stunning scenery and amazing underwater photography, horror creeps in as we watch Our Man (Redford) engage in the timeless struggle with nature. His unflagging determination allows him to withstand thirst, hunger and the loss of vitality despite a certain brutal outcome. Watching him cling to life despite how unpleasant it has become makes our own trials --- from a nagging toothache to a huge tax bill --- seem petty. His ability to stay focused and not panic made me especially queasy, knowing I would dissolve into a sobbing mess within the first five minutes and stay that way until I drowned.

The bottom line: You just never know. You’ve got to be ready. You’ve got to fight, or all will be lost. Or will it? After all, Our Man’s fate is unclear; left for you to decide.

Nightcrawler (2014) About the only thing this film gets right, besides masterful cinematography that almost makes seeing it worthwhile, is the title. Never has the word “crawler” been used more appropriately, bringing to mind all sorts of creepy, unsavoury, slimy creatures of the night. Jake Gyllenhaal does a bang-up job as Louis Bloom, a repulsive, sociopathic, half-demented weirdo with no redeeming qualities... and that’s being kind.

with his eyeballs? They bulge out in a monstrous way, and we’re stuck watching the whites of his eyes, complete with little red veins, in every close-up. Are they fake? Is it Halloween? And why are the L. A. police so slow to show up for everything? Our monstrous hero beats them to the crime scene every time, despite the fact that he’s listening to their police radio and hearing alerts at the same time they do. Are they all out getting donuts? Sadly, things go from bad to worse. There is much gore.

The Master (2012) Besides the all-star cast, one good reason to see the The Master is because it feels so good when it stops. As I joyously escaped the darkness and ran out to carpe what little remained of the diem, I overheard another just-sprung patron in the lobby irately demanding a refund because the film was “a load of hogwash and a piece of crap.”

Rave reviews by all the esteemed critics got me there, coupled with a deep admiration of actress Amy Adams and the great Philip Seymour Hoffman — a man so gifted he deserved two first names. What I didn’t realise beforehand was that the movie would be so depressing, mostly because some of those same critics deemed it “riotously funny.” I must have missed that line, because what I saw for over two hours was a microscopic look at Freddie Quell (Joaquin Phoenix), an alcoholic World War II veteran bursting with PTSD who plays second-banana to Lancaster Dodd (Hoffman), the leader of a religious cult named The Cause.

Rumours that the story is about Scientology and that Hoffman’s character is that religion’s founder, L. Ron Hubbard, have neither been confirmed nor denied. What is for certain is Freddie’s overwhelming obsession with sex, vaginas and naked women, causing him to engage in sex with naked women’s vaginas. If you also like those things, you will love this film.

Ditto if you are studying to become a psychiatrist or learning to tend bar, since Freddie mixes specialty cocktails whenever he stumbles across the right ingredients. These include Lysol, torpedo fuel and paint thinner. A special kind of horror movie, at the end you’ll be hard-pressed to decide who was the scariest character.

Please Continue On Page 23

As a petty thief looking for a career, our hero stumbles onto a late-night car crash and is fascinated by the news photographers who show up to document the grisly scene. Watching them, he gets the idea that he could to the same thing himself. And so, being a self-described “quick learner,” next thing you know Bloom’s got himself a cheap camcorder and is scurrying around L.A. looking for tragedy to record and sell to the local news.

Bloom thinks nothing of killing people, be they friend or foe, to get ahead, or using extortion as a path to sexual gratification. The object of his affection is Nina, played by Rene Russo looking haggard and quite unattractive, in part due to about a pound of blue eye shadow apparently applied with a palette knife.

Nina, another creepy-crawler, is an unsavoury TV news director who wants videos of the goriest, most heinous things out there to increase her station’s ratings.

Bloom is her man. Together they work their black magic; Bloom gets richer as Nina’s ratings rise.

We in the audience have many questions. Bloom lives alone in a crummy apartment and is completely friendless. We know nothing about his past and thus wonder how he got this way. Even more, we wonder what the heck is wrong

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The Standard Reviewer

By Andrea Rouda / Continued From Page 21

High-Rise (2015) For a certain type of person – basically, me – High-Rise has no redeeming qualities, quite an achievement for a film that’s been in the works for 30 years.

Based on JG Ballard’s 1975 sci-fi novel that was once deemed “un-filmable,” the futuristic story is set somewhere around 1970s London, although you never see London or anywhere else since all the action transpires inside the high-rise of the title.

Starring Britain’s Tom Hiddleston, High-Rise strives to be an allegory about the age-old struggle between the rich and the poor. It’s a tale so tall it defies all reason. Much of the dialogue is incomprehensible, owing to the British accents or just plain mumbling, but it hardly matters since whatever the actors are saying cannot possibly justify, or even begin to explain, what you see on the screen The truly shocking events occur inside a brutalist, ultra-modern apartment building where the tenants are richer the higher up they live. Things go wildly awry within weeks of occupancy by a bunch of sex-crazed lunatics when the electricity falters, causing the high-floor people to get more of it than the lowfloor people.

Who knew a lack of electricity could trigger such intense mania? Tempers flare and before long the building’s residents are eating their pets, drowning in the swimming pool and beating the crap out of their neighbours, unless they are raping them or possibly feasting on their flesh. Amidst all the mayhem a suicide is completely understandable, and in fact enviable; I considered it myself but had no suitable equipment with me.

The building’s architect (Jeremy Irons) occupies the penthouse, which has an outdoor terrace the size of Central Park, complete with trees and horses. His wife is into riding. She’s also into other women, but then everyone is into everyone, literally.

As the chaos grows for reasons we never understand, orgies proliferate in every nook and cranny, so if you’re shy about sex be forewarned, since there’s always someone screwing someone in this pre-AIDS, free-love culture, where every last person smokes cigarettes, often during sex.

People die, there’s lots of blood and gore, and no logical story. If you are a weird pervert, or even just a run-of-the-mill pervert, see it. But let’s be clear: it’s definitely not a date movie.

Ms. Rouda invites readers to check out her blog, The Daily Droid, at www.arouda. blogspot.com or email her at: andreajrouda@aol.com

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David had fairly good voice command over the pack. On the occasion, when things weren’t under control, Butchie would invariably start walking to another destination and her brood would obediently follow. I always marveled over how this smallish female (most of Butchie’s offspring were larger than her and some quite rambunctious) had complete control over her pack! Butchie was truly a great mother. Rest in peace Butchie!

Mark: My Words

One of my first customers, man or beast, was Rufus. A small dog, perhaps from the terrier family, Rufus had a classic air of gentlemanly comportment and would calmly wait for his hotdog treatment. The couple who cared for Rufus would take turns walking him to the stand once a week or so, and I could tell they both loved him greatly.

By Mark Gatti / Mark’s Hotdogs I love animals and have a great fondness for dogs in particular. Over the years there have been a number of four-legged friends who appeared regularly at my hot “dog” stand. I will take this time to reminisce about some past and present canine friends who were frequent visitors at Tommy’s Park.

Back in the 1980s and into the 1990s we had in the area of very intelligent but quirky gent, David, who took care of a pack of approximately 10 dogs. David was commonly referred to as “the dog man” and his pack of dogs had a matronly leader named Butchie. Butchie was a calm and steady ruler of her pack.

David told me she was also the birth mother of most of them.

Rufus’ owner just recently informed me that Rufus was quite independent and would often stroll off on his own around Fore Street, successfully begging for delicious morsels at a nearby bakery and deli. Rufus remained a steady regular customer for a good 15 years.

When he stopped coming around I assumed he had passed away, but much to my great surprise and pleasure, five years after I had last seen him, my old friend Rufus reappeared --- now being carried to the stand by his ever-loving owner!

Maine Jewish Museum

Opening Reception: Thursday, May 10, 2018 5pm-7pm Da Ponte Quartet Concert 7:30pm Exhibitions: May 10,2018 - July 5, 2018

The Museum Paintings Rush Brown Fineberg Community Room

In Loving Memory Alex Sax 3rd Floor Sanctuary

Musicians Ted Arnold Spiegel Gallery

Maine Jewish Museum

267 Congress Street, Portland, ME 04101 (207) 773-2339 Monday - Friday 10am-4pm + Sundays 1pm - 5pm or by appointment mainejewishmuseum.org Nancy Davidson, Curator

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Over the next several years the elderly Rufus made a few more visits to get a hot dog treat, much to my great delight. Living almost a quarter of a century, the day came when his owner informed me that Rufus had passed away and yes, a few tears trickled down my cheeks onto the street. He was a very special “customer”.

And I can’t forget Layla, a drop-dead gorgeous girl (of the canine variety) owned by a young, occasional customer named Dave. A pit bull – Labrador mix, she is athletically sleek and loving to most all people, but doesn’t take kindly to other dogs. She has a voracious appetite but tries hard to be gentle when I carefully serve her a tube steak. Definitely another daddy’s girl, Dave has trained her well.

This is very important because she would fight any dog or person who she felt threatened her owner: no holds barred.

Another young lady acquaintance used to bring her gentle, timid dog “Two-Bit” down for a dog biscuit on her way to work. A pretty, mixed-breed with black and white markings, Two Bit, I believe may have been a rescue dog.

Two–Bit received treats from me for three years or so and it got to the point that she insisted on a snack, so if I had run out of dog biscuits I served her a complementary hotdog. She had me wrapped around her paws. Two-Bit sadly passed away last year, succumbing to an intestinal disorder that had plagued her for some time.

Happily, her owner recently acquired another pretty (and very spirited) young pooch. Wouldn’t you know, she is a dead ringer for Two–Bit with her black and white markings!

Finally, I would be remiss to not include cute puggle, Scout. We’ve been told she is one of the biggest female puggles in Cumberland County, topping out at 48 pounds. Scout is on a low-fat diet, believe it or not, and is the butt of some

good-natured jokes concerning her Rubinesque figure, much to my wife’s chagrin.

As Scout is half Beagle, she is kept on a leash as she will take off and chase any squirrel, chipmunk, cat or bird she sees. One time when Susan, my wife, was taking Scout for a visit to the Old Port, Scout leapt out of the car before Susan could leash her.

Susan was frantically giving chase and screaming for help as Scout quickly charged down Exchange Street. Thankfully, an older lady at the bottom of the street managed to bundle Scout into her arms before some catastrophe happened. Sadly, Scout has no fear of cars or trucks and will run after them. Anyway, Scout’s rescuer was our hero of the day, and as you may guess, Scout is not a frequent visitor downtown anymore.

In closing, I am happy to mention that Rufus’ owner, a long-time patron of Mark’s Hotdogs, currently has two dogs. They are enthusiastic “consumers” of tube steak and I can hear them barking excitedly as he drives them up to the stand in his Volvo wagon.

People can debate whether dogs are man’s best friend or not, but for me personally, I’ve never had a dog yet complain or grumble about my food or service!

It has been a long Winter, but I predict Spring is really and truly here as of April’s final days.

A foolish prediction? Probably, but I’m sticking with it! Here’s to our getting out of Winter hibernation. And don’t forget when your walks take you down Middle or Exchange streets, a certain hotdog vendor would love for you to stop by and say hello. Extra points if you have your pet along! Warms regards, Mark.

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Join us for these free events at Eastern Cemetery to celebrate its founding in 1668!

July 21 - Herb Adams will lead a walk and talk celebrating the

poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

Aug. 12 - We will honor Captain Lemuel Moody with a tour of the Observatory and a reading at his tomb.

Sept. 15 - See how slate gravestones of the 1700s were handcarved with a live demonstration by Matt Barnes.

Our regular walking tour season starts in June, but you can schedule your own tour any time in May by contacting Spirits Alive at Tours@spiritsalive.org More info at spiritsalive.org Page 28

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Anchors Aweigh As Season’s First Ships Dock Downtown

The German ship Artania, above, and the Norwegian Fram, below, began the cruise season in Portland the last week of April. Both have interesting stories, but especially the Fram, of which Cruise Critic.com notes, “Fitting of a polar expedition ship, Fram (pronounced frahm) is named after the wooden sailing ship built in 1892 for Norwegian explorer Fridtjof Nansen’s North Pole expedition.

The original Fram (Norwegian for “forward”) completed three trips: an unsuccessful attempt to reach the North Pole under Nansen; an exploratory mission to the Canadian Arctic with Otto Sverdrup; and a South Pole expedition led by Roald Amundsen, who reached the pole 14th December 1911.

From the moment you step onboard this compact ship, you feel as though you’ve arrived in a polar region. The artwork, created by Arctic-region artists, reflects both the Arctic and Antarctic with photos of those early expeditions, paintings of snow-capped peaks and (from the South Pole) pictures of penguins.

The staircase landings sport glass sculptures resembling icebergs. Highlights are the model of the Fram sailing ship and the exhibit of Fram artifacts displayed in the arcade hallway leading to and from the dining room. Historic objects are on loan from the Fram Museum in Oslo, Norway.

To see the whole list of which ships are going to visit this season, and when, check out www.portlandmaine.gov/2046/Schedule

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Downtown’s Most Up-To-Date Map & Directory

3

4 9 2 1

6 7

Top Stops By The Numbers

10 8 5

The Observatory

1

Coastal Pharmacy

2

Rite Aid Pharmacy

3

Hannaford (Grocery)

4

Whole Foods

5

CVS Pharmacy

6

Two Fat Cats Bakery

7

Ocean Gate Terminal

8 1

Maine State Pier

Maine Jewish Museum & Etz Chaim Synagogue 10 Longfellow House 9 1

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