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Issue 107

Abolishing Income Tax Tax lawyer Bruce Grierson floats a replacement for PAYE

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Contents 28 22 FEATURES

22 Copenhagen: World Govt?

Once confined to the realms of conspiracy theory the idea of a kind of world government to take overall responsibility for fighting climate change and feeding the third world is now under serious consideration, as IAN WISHART reports

28 Heaven Bakes Earth

In this exclusive extract from his bestselling new climate book Heaven+Earth, scientist IAN PLIMER blames the sun, not CO2, for the majority of climate change

40 The Baby Makers

Aging populations in the West leave only two options if New Zealanders and Australians want to keep their standards of living 20 years from now: more immigrants or more babies, as PETER CURSON explains

44 Abolishing Income Tax 1

Tax lawyer BRUCE GRIERSON has an idea – abolish income tax and replace it with something new. Exactly what, he explains right here in Part One

52 The Jesus Myth

As Christmas rolls around the usual suspects are trying to debunk the reason for the season. IAN WISHART sets the record straight

Editorial and opinion 04 Focal Point

Volume 9, Issue 107, ISSN 1175-1290

Editorial

06 Vox-Populi

The roar of the crowd

12 Simply Devine

Miranda Devine on fence-sitters

14 Mark Steyn

The Fort Hood warning signs

16 Eyes Right

Richard Prosser on science advice

18 Line 1

Chris Carter on crime

20 Contra Mundum

Matt Flannagan on flat earth theory

Chief Executive Officer Heidi Wishart Group Managing Editor Ian Wishart NZ EDITION Advertising

Contributing Writers: Melody Towns, Selwyn Parker, Amy Brooke, Chris Forster, Peter Hensley, Chris Carter, Mark Steyn, Chris Philpott, Michael Morrissey, Miranda Devine, Richard Prosser, Claire Morrow, James Morrow, Len Restall, Laura Wilson, and the worldwide resources of MCTribune Group, UPI and Newscom Art Direction Design & Layout

Lifestyle 08 Poetry

Amy Brooke’s poem of the month

60 Money

Peter Hensley on inheritance

62 Education

Amy Brooke on manipulation

64 Sport

Chris Forster on Steve Williams

66 Alt.Health Beating stress

68 Travel

Viennese dining

70 Food

James Morrow on Bright Eyes

74 Pages

Michael Morrissey’s summer reads

78 Music

Chris Philpott’s CD reviews

80 Movies

2012, A Christmas Carol

Fuller Media Richa Fuller 09 522 7062 richa@fullermedia.co.nz

Heidi Wishart Bozidar Jokanovic

Tel: +64 9 373 3676 Fax: +64 9 373 3667 Investigate Magazine PO Box 188, Kaukapakapa Auckland 0843, NEW ZEALAND AUSTRALIAN Editor Ian Wishart Advertising sales@investigatemagazine.com Tel/Fax: 1-800 123 983 SUBSCRIPTIONS Online: www.investigatemagazine.com By Phone: Australia 1-800 123 983 NZ 09 373 3676 By Post: To the PO Box NZ Edition: $85 Au Edition: A$96 EMAIL editorial@investigatemagazine.com ian@investigatemagazine.com australia@investigatemagazine.com sales@investigatemagazine.com helpdesk@investigatemagazine.tv All content in this magazine is copyright, and may not be reproduced in any form without the written permission of the publisher. The opinions of advertisers or contributors are not necessarily those of the magazine, and no liability is accepted. We take no responsibility for unsolicited material sent to us. Please enclose a stamped, SAE envelope. Inquiries in the first instance should be made via email or fax. Investigate magazine Australasia is published by HATM Magazines Ltd

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> focal point

Editorial

A climate of discontent

ou don’t have to look very far today to hear grumblings disconnect between the ruling classes and the people. about the government’s war on global warming. Rudd has now been forced to drop agriculture from Australia’s Even though New Zealand contributes less than a frac- planned ETS, meaning New Zealand is currently the only countion of a percent of the world’s greenhouse gas emissions, try left still offering to penalize its farming industry. The stupidity we have for the past four years taken a “we’ll lead the world” atti- of including farming is that cattle and crops are actually carbon tude toward fighting climate change. sinks – the grass soaks up CO2 from the air and grows, the beasts Despite the inconvenient truth that emissions in this coun- eat the grass and thus the carbon. The farms on which our cattle try sky-rocketed under the leadership of mouthy Prime Minister roam soak up vast amounts of carbon, far more than the cattle Helen Clark – even as she accepted a UN environmental award emit, but that is not taken into account. for her “work” on climate change – we’ve somehow seen it as our A fascinating piece of research, published early in November, responsibility to set an example. reveals that the ratio (known as ‘the airborne fraction’ of CO2 in the Perhaps that’s because several New Zealand climate scientists atmosphere compared to the land and oceans has remained the same are big cheeses within the UN IPCC, and that at a recent climate since 1850, despite a big increase in CO2 emissions from human science “briefing” (in the loosest sense of the word) they boasted industry, from 2 billion tonnes a year then to 35 billion tonnes now. that NZ “controlled” two of the four major reports the IPCC What does this mean? It means Planet Earth has stepped up handed down in its 2007 climate change analysis. its ability to soak up CO2 at the same rate as we are increasingly With such a pedigree, perchucking it out – something haps it is no wonder that we the UN IPCC did not expect. The farms on which our cattle feel this need to puff out our Another new study this chests and tell the world what year pours utter cold water roam soak up vast amounts of fantastically worthy little on the latest scare story hobbits we are. Personally, I regarding “ocean acidifisee it as the politico-scientific carbon, far more than the cattle emit, cation”. As the scare story equivalent of short-man syngoes, the oceans are losing but that is not taken into account drome. Or maybe it’s a deep their alkalinity because of inner yearning on the part of increasing CO2 and marine those involved to be seen as the ultimate teachers’ pets for UN life will become extinct, catastrophically. leaders like Ban Ki-moon and Helen Clark. Unfortunately, the new peer-reviewed study has found that schools Whatever the motivation, it is badly misplaced. The Copenhagen of fish appear to be responsible for 15% or more of the oceans’ alkaTreaty is not now going to be the final answer, but instead a “politi- linity, because they create alkaline compounds from carbon and can cally binding” document that sets out a desired structure for com- quickly alter the pH balance of seawater to suit their needs. bating climate change moving forward. More acidic oceans may be happening not because of global warmWith the Obama administration in political trouble in the US ing, but because of overfishing. If we remove the fish that produce and shelving their ETS legislation until next year, other countries ocean alkalinity, it’s little surprise the oceans are getting less alkaline. have quickly realized they might be backing a loser in expecting The moral of this story? The science is not settled. Not by a climate change to be a vote-winner. long shot. Message to John Key and Nick Smith: don’t even think The public are sick of it. New polls show the British are the most about signing on the dotted line at Copenhagen. Voters may not skeptical people in the world about global warming, despite the want Labour back until it has learned some deep lessons about frantic efforts of Labour PM Gordon Brown and a TV ad cam- Nanny Statism, but you can guarantee voters will remember clipaign designed to deliberately scare small children. mate stupidity at some point. In Australia, there’s been a massive public backlash to global On that note, Merry Christmas. warming brainwashing, so big that it provoked Prime Minister Kevin Rudd into virtually calling for all skeptics to be rounded up, placed in concentration camps and gassed. His speech earned him international ridicule, and further highlighted the growing 4 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009

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> vox populi

Communiques The roar of the crowd THE COPENHAGEN RORT At a climate conference in Copenhagen the United Nations hopes to obtain signatures from the NZ government and other countries to an International Treaty, a global document masquerading as a successor to the Kyoto Protocol. Of huge concern to all New Zealanders is that this treaty document is being widely reported as the precursor to a one world government, run by the UN to control massive and irreversible wealth transfer based on carbon trading, under the pretence of global warming prevention. I have written to the government asking if they intend signing the UNFCCC treaty and received no response. Dr. Nick Smith and the government’s silence on this treaty should be of great concern to all New Zealanders. This year leading US climate scientist Dr. Richard Lindzen produced his peer reviewed paper showing the results of twenty years of satellite data to prove that global warming is highly unlikely to exceed a beneficial 0.8 degrees Celsius even if carbon dioxide levels doubled by 2100. So if a carbon increase is actually beneficial at such low levels why is Dr. Nick Smith’s government continuing to push an emissions trading scheme at a cost of up to $6,000 per family of four per annum? Enough is enough, it is time for Nick Smith and the government to come clean and dump his emissions trading scheme. Kevin Campbell, Awhitu

DOWN SYNDROME, SEARCH AND DESTROY The screening of unborn babies for Down syndrome with a new national screening programme is a further manifestation of a culture of death. It is a search and destroy programme that has as its sole objective the termination of the lives of unborn children. Human life begins at conception and at that point the newly conceived life is endowed by its Creator with inalienable human rights, the foundation right is a right to life. Our human rights are both inalienable and universal. The termination of the life of the unborn child is a violation of the human rights of the unborn child. A child does not forfeit its right to life because it has Down syndrome. An abortion is the ultimate discrimination against those with a disability. This is eugenics which proclaims that only the perfect have a right to be born. The screening programme is a further major step on the slippery slope. The government seeks to conceal the true purpose of the programme by calling it a “quality improvement” 6 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009

rather than national screening programme. The government states that it is providing a service to families by giving them a choice whether to terminate the life of the child with Down syndrome or to allow the child to be born. We should be aware that this is part of a strategy of social conditioning. Right to Life contends that the government has decided that children with Down syndrome are not valued or wanted in our community. Its intention then is to encourage families to abort children with Down syndrome. The insidious option to terminate the life of the child will ultimately become a duty to kill the child before birth. With the acceptance of eugenics ultimately it may be expected that with the rationing of diminishing health resources that health care for the disabled will be restricted. The screening programme denies that unborn children with Down syndrome have an important contribution to make to the family and society, they should be valued, loved and respected. The government should withdraw the screening programme and promote a culture of life by ensuring that families that have unborn children with Down syndrome receive compassion and given all the encouragement, support needed to bring their child to birth. After the birth of their child they should be provided with the services necessary to assist them in providing for the special needs of their child. Ken Orr, Right To Life

ACC LEVIES I am mystified as to why at times some of us pay an ACC levy. I am a self employed farmer, and have no complaint on my own behalf with them, but I have two friends who are farming also, and have both been left high and dry by the system. One told me he was in the middle of lambing, and when climbing over a fence, landed badly and twisted his ankle, and thus ending up on crutches. He claimed against ACC, but was told that he didn’t qualify, as his lambs were still growing, so he therefore had an income. The other had a bad accident and dislocated his shoulder. The medics made such a mess of it, chipping some bone so badly, that it had to be operated on. His arm was in a sling for about 4 months, and he was on physio for a similar time. He was told the same thing by ACC; he did not qualify, as his crops and lambs were still growing, so still had an income. The fact that the crops were in the ground and the lambs running around the paddock, therefore not creating an income must have been of no consequence to them. They were also told that they would have to employ someone to

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do the work out of their own pocket. I can’t help wondering how many other self employed people of other industries are affected/ treated the same way. The only thing I would like to add, is that we can be assured of an income/ benefit from them, if we take out what they call ACC Cover Plus, which costs another quite considerable amount, so I don’t think many take it. And then, when you think of it, to add insult to injury, overseas tourists can come into the country and get whatever accident care they need. W Glennie, South Canterbury

HOW THEY GROW UP FAST Earlier this year, our little daughter Sophia Trinity Grace entered the world, but naughty daddy misplaced the crucial camera card. Until now. Welcome aboard Sophia. Mummy and Daddy and all your brothers and sisters love you heaps!

BPA CLARIFICATION Under the heading of “Science” the article by Sarah Avery in the November issue of Investigate, claims that a chemical found in plastic soft drink bottles has been linked to aggression in girls. This is extremely misleading. The plastic used in bottles for carbonated beverages is PET (polyethylene terephthalate), which contains no BPA whatsoever. However, BPA is used in the production of polycarbonate, (a well known brand of which is Lexan) from which most babies bottles are made. Any plastic item with the identification numbers 1 (PET), 2 (HDPE), 4 (LDPE), 5 (polypropylene), and 6 (polystyrene) does not contain bisphenol A. Further information about BPA can be found in Wikipedia, or just type “plastics containing Bisphenol A” into Google. Tony Leatherbarrow, Upper Hutt

Poetry Is it poetry? Then send submissions to Poetry Editor Amy Brooke:amy@investigatemagazine.tv BATTLE FATIGUE Leave us alone, jackals of academe, Disinterring, debating, disputing! The action was ours, not yours to pore over, Re-filling old graves with “new perspectives”. We know what happened! So what if 3 Platoon went this way instead of that, And the tanks pulled back before ordered? We had a bloody fight on our hands, Not pens to probe with, but Brens to die holding! The crack of gunfire delivered full stops Long before you started your grammared “reappraisals” of our fate. Ian Collins

DROP US A LINE Letters to the editor can be emailed to us, faxed or posted. They should not exceed 300 words, and we reserve the right to edit for space or clarity. All correspondence will be presumed for publication unless it is clearly marked to the contrary. Address: INVESTIGATE, PO Box 302188, North Harbour, North Shore 0751, or email to: editorial@investigatemagazine.com

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estigate this v In o t e b ri c s b When you su r Ian Plimer’s e h it e e s a h rc u month and p rth, or Ian a E + n e v a e H r, e new bestsell e’ll give you w , ll e w s a n o C Wishart’s Air ’s Bite as well, e v E ’s rt a h Is W a copy of Ian stocks last) e il h (w ! e re f absolutely

SUB

sMuytsh Je e Th the The story behind as father of Christm

Copenhagen

Jesus – the myth

ld Government? Blueprint for Wor

Treaty • Copenhagen • Heaven & Earth

Earth HeaIanvePlimner& argues the sun Author al warming is causing glob

Issue 107

Tax comemen ishing In t Abol floats a replace yer Bruce Grierson Tax law for PAYE

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> simply devine

Miranda Devine

To play king of the middle ground

ondon’s Mayor, Boris Johnson, rescued a woman being seems only to cause more suffering. His “Indonesian solution” of attacked by an armed girl gang this month by chasing them detaining Australia-bound asylum seekers in Indonesian camps away on his pushbike and calling them “oiks’’. will no doubt be harsher than keeping them in Australian-run Johnson, a right-wing journalist and Tory politician, had centres in Nauru or Manus Island, and Australia will have less been riding his bike home when Franny Armstrong, a climate control over their living conditions. activist who voted for his mayoral rival “Red Ken’’ Livingstone, But out of sight, out of mind, is a good way for the activists of called out for help. the Howard era to avoid inconvenient truths. Despite not sharing his politics, Armstrong, who directed the Imagine if it were John Howard presiding over the stand-off greenie movie The Age of Stupid, told reporters she was grateful with 78 Sri Lankan asylum seekers on the Oceanic Viking, the to Johnson for his gallantry, calling him her “knight on a shin- Australian Customs ship on which they have been languishing in ing bicycle”. Indonesian waters for four weeks, and counting. It would have And she made this telling observation: “If you find yourself been proof of his racist, xenophobic, inward-looking, 1950s-mired, down a dark alleyway and in trouble I think Boris would be of white-picket-fence narrow-mindedness and meanness of spirit that more use than Ken.’’ had turned us into a pariah nation. As for Philip Ruddock, bring I would suggest that, when push comes to shove, it is muscu- on the cadaver metaphors. lar conservatives with the courage of their convictions, of either Imagine if Howard were prime minister this month when a sex, who are of more use in boat of asylum seekers capdark alleys than wishy-washy sized near the Cocos Islands, Howard and Ruddock were leftists, or simply people who drowning 12 people, includdon’t like to get their hands ing two teenage boys. It dirty, make a judgment call demonised for their clear, firm stand would have been SIEV X all or risk unpopularity. over again. Blood on your in 2001 after the Tampa crisis. If you are worried that hands, little Johnny. Crack someone might think you are journalistic investigative Yet the results were more humane teams would be signing book a violent, chauvinistic bully if you chase the girl gang, you’re contracts. Hannie Rayson in practice than the rhetoric no use. If you want to examwould whip up another play ine the motives of the assailapplauded by chatterers and might suggest ants to establish beyond a doctors’ wives. The Refugee shadow of a doubt that they Action Coalition, Flotillas mean Franny Armstrong harm, and aren’t just asking her to admire of Hope, Free the Refugees Campaign, Stop the War Coalition, their big iron bar, you’re no use. If you are a peacenik who avoids North Shore Greens, Western Sydney Peace Group and Northall confrontation, you’re no use. If you are a post-modernist who West Friends of Refugees would be marching on Kirribilli House. believes there are multiple truths, you will be too confused to be And yet the criticism of the Rudd Government from our pubof any use. lic moral guardians has been oh, so muted. Where are Julian In this age of cowardly consensus, feigned reasonableness and Burnside, Tony Kevin, Malcolm Fraser and Phillip Adams with radical tolerance, the middle ground has been sanctified, no matter their fearless commentary? Tom Keneally and his taped mouth? how stark the choice between right and wrong. Few are willing to Ian Macphee, Greg Barns, Richard Woolcott, Marcus Einfeld? do the right thing because no one will agree what the right thing Oh, I forgot. He’s in jail. might be, because that would imply there is a wrong thing, which The lobby group A Just Australia, which hounded the Howard is supposedly the view only of right-wing extremists. government over asylum seekers, has issued five press releases this Thus Kevin Rudd, the king of the middle ground, can hold two year, of which four have led with attacks on the Opposition, includcontrary ideas on asylum seekers, unpicking the allegedly heartless ing dire warnings about “a punitive … hardline faction within the border-protection policies of the Howard government and replac- shadow cabinet”. The other press release mildly reproached Rudd ing them with some sort of “tough and humane” apparatus that for “disappointing” use of the term “illegal immigration” before

12 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009

In practice his policies may turn out be less humane than Howard’s, not least because his rhetoric has offered asylum seekers false hope. But at least no one hates him / WOLFGANG KUMM

moving to familiar territory, lambasting irresponsible “Sharman Stone and other shadow cabinet extremists”. Old habits die hard. Mandatory detention, it is worth pointing out at every opportunity, was introduced by Howard’s Labor predecessor, with nary a murmur, even when about 350 children were locked up in 1993. It was Howard who ended the policy of detaining children. But opportunists who despised Howard and the rednecks who voted for him used refugees as a political bludgeon, without any real attempt to help them. Those who once decried Howard’s border protection policies, including the Pacific solution, which had asylum seekers processed in Nauru and on Manus Island, have a much more relaxed take on Rudd’s Indonesian solution. Howard and Ruddock were demonised for their clear, firm

stand in 2001 after the Tampa crisis. Yet the results were more humane in practice than the rhetoric might suggest. Boat arrivals all but stopped by 2002 as the criminal syndicates who run people-smuggling rackets got the message that there was no point risking people’s lives in leaky boats. The drownings at sea stopped. Rudd, on the other hand, adopted a soft-talking approach, repudiating Howard’s border protection policies and pandering to the activist lobby while attempting to retain border control on the quiet. In practice his policies may turn out be less humane than Howard’s, not least because his rhetoric has offered asylum seekers false hope. But at least no one hates him. devinemiranda@hotmail.com

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009 13

> straight talk

Mark Steyn

The hole at the heart of our strategy

e’re scrupulously non-judgmental about the ideSince 9/11, we have, as the Twitterers recommend, judged peoology that drives terrorism. ple by their actions – flying planes into skyscrapers, blowing Thirteen dead and 31 wounded would be a bad day themselves up in Bali nightclubs or London Tube trains, plantfor the U.S. military in Afghanistan, and a great vic- ing IEDs by the roadside in Baghdad or Tikrit. And on the whole tory for the Taliban. When it happens in Texas, in the heart of we’re effective at responding with action of our own – taking out the biggest military base in the nation, at a processing center for training camps in Afghanistan, rolling up insurgency networks soldiers either returning from or deploying to combat overseas, in Fallujah and Ramadi, intercepting terror plots in London and it is not merely a “tragedy” (as too many people called it) but a Toronto and Dearborn. glimpse of a potentially fatal flaw at the heart of what we have But we’re scrupulously non-judgmental about the ideology called, since 9/11, the “War on Terror.” Brave soldiers trained to that drives a man to fly into a building or self-detonate on the hunt down and kill America’s enemy abroad were killed in the subway, and thus we have a hole at the heart of our strategy. We safety and security of home by, in essence, the same enemy – a use rhetorical conveniences like “radical Islam” or, if that seems man who believes in and supports everything the enemy does. a wee bit Islamophobic, just plain old “radical extremism.” But And he’s a U.S. Army major. we never make any effort to delineate the line which separates And his superior officers and other authorities knew about his “radical Islam” from non-radical Islam. Indeed, we go to great beliefs but seemed to think it was just a bit of harmless multicul- lengths to make it even fuzzier. And somewhere in that woozy blur tural diversity – as if believthe pathologies of a Nidal ing that “the Muslims should Malik Hasan incubate. An We’re scrupulously nonstand up and fight against army psychiatrist, Major the aggressor” (i.e., his felHasan was an American, judgmental about the ideology that born and raised, who gradlow American soldiers) and writing Internet paeans to the uated from Viriginia Tech drives a man to fly into a building “noble” “heroism” of suicide and then received his docbombers and, indeed, objectorate from the Uniformed or self-detonate on the subway, and Services University of the tively supporting the other side in an active war is to be Health Sciences in Bethesda, thus we have a hole at the heart of regarded as just some kind of which works out to the best alternative lifestyle that adds part of half a million dollars’ our strategy to the general vibrancy of the worth of elite education. But base. he opposed America’s actions When it emerged early on that the shooter was Nidal Malik in the Middle East and Afghanistan, and made approving remarks Hasan, there appeared shortly thereafter on Twitter a flurry of about jihadists on American soil. “You need to lock it up, Major,” posts with the striking formulation: “Please judge Major Malik cautioned his superior officer, Col. Terry Lee. Nadal [sic] by his actions and not by his name.” But he didn’t really need to “lock it up” at all. He could pretty Concerned Tweeters can relax: There was never really any danger much say anything he liked, and if any “red flags” were raised they of that – and not just in the sense that the New York Times’s first were quickly mothballed. Lots of people are “anti-war.” Some of report on Major Hasan never mentioned the words “Muslim” or them are objectively on the other side – that’s to say, they encour“Islam,” or that ABC’s Martha Raddatz’s only observation on his age and support attacks on American troops and civilians. But not name was that “as for the suspect, Nadal Hasan, as one officer’s many of those in that latter category are U.S. Army majors. Or wife told me, ‘I wish his name was Smith.’” so one would hope. Yet why be surprised? Azad Ali, a man who What a strange reaction. I suppose what she means is that, if his approvingly quotes such observations as “If I saw an American name were Smith, we could all retreat back into the same comfort- or British man wearing a soldier’s uniform inside Iraq I would ing illusions that allowed the bureaucracy to advance Nidal Malik kill him because that is my obligation” is an adviser to Britain’s Hasan to major and into the heart of Fort Hood while ignoring Crown Prosecution Service (the equivalent of the U.S. attorneys). everything that mattered about the essence of this man. In Toronto this week, the brave ex-Muslim Nonie Darwish men14 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009

Family members of the fallen grieve before the start of the memorial service for the 12 soldiers and one civilian killed at Fort Hood U.S Army Post near Killeen, Texas, USA / Tannen Maury / Pool via CNP

tioned en passant that, on flying from the U.S. to Canada, she was questioned at length about the purpose of her visit by an apparently Muslim border official. When she revealed that she was giving a speech about Islamic law, he rebuked her: “We are not to question sharia.” That’s the guy manning the airport-security desk. In the New York Times, Maria Newman touched on Hasan’s faith only obliquely: “He was single, according to the records, and he listed no religious preference.” Thank goodness for that, eh? A neighbour in Texas says the major had “Allah” and “another word” pinned up in Arabic on his door. “Akbar” maybe? On Thursday morning before he murdered he is said to have passed out copies of the Koran to his neighbours. He shouted in Arabic as he fired. But don’t worry: As the FBI spokesman assured us in nothing flat, there’s no terrorism angle. That’s true, in a very narrow sense: Major Hasan is not a cardcarrying member of the Texas branch of al-Qa’ida reporting to a control officer in Yemen or Waziristan. If he were, things would be a lot easier. But the pathologies that drive al-Qa’ida beat within Major Hasan too, and in the end his Islamic impulses trumped his expensive Western education, his psychiatric training, his military discipline – his entire American identity. One might say the same about Faleh Hassan Almaleki of Glendale, Ariz., arrested last week

after fatally running over his “too Westernized” daughter Noor in the latest American honour killing. Or the two U.S. residents – one American, one Canadian – arrested a few days earlier for plotting to fly to Denmark for the purposes of murdering the editor who commissioned the famous Mohammed cartoons. But Noor Almaleki’s brother shrugs that’s just the way it is. “One thing to one culture doesn’t make sense to another culture,” he says. Indeed. To infidels, Islam is in a certain sense unknowable, and most of us are content to leave it at that. The vast majority of Muslims don’t conspire to kill cartoonists or murder their daughters or shoot dozens of their fellow soldiers. But Islam inspires enough of this behavior to make it a legitimate topic of analysis. Don’t hold your breath. We’d rather talk about anything else – even in the Army. What happened to those men and women at Fort Hood had a horrible symbolism: Members of the best trained, best equipped fighting force on the planet gunned down by a guy who said a few goofy things no one took seriously. And that’s the problem: America has the best troops and fiercest firepower, but no strategy for throttling the ideology that drives the enemy – in Afghanistan and in Texas. Mark Steyn, an Investigate columnist, is author of America Alone. © 2009 Mark Steyn

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009 15

> eyes right

Richard Prosser It ain’t rocket science

ur esteemed Prime Minister has appointed Professor Sir having to pay $30 for a visit to the Doctor to get a prescription Peter Gluckman as his new Chief Science Advisor. Pete for each helping of same, when the magic pills I’m after can be the Advisor is a Professor and a Sir, so he must be dou- got for $8.95 at the chemist. bly bright, and he’s an acknowledged leader in his field But the good Professor has decided, and the Prime Minister of expertise, which happens to be paediatrics, and I’m sure he’s agrees – or perhaps the Prime Minister has decided, and the an eminently nice fellow, all of which is all well and good; but it Professor agrees – that my innocent free access to my medicine begs the question, why does the Prime Minister need a Science of choice is the root cause of this country’s worst ever drug epiAdvisor in the first place? demic, and therefore it must be curtailed. I have to say I am inherently suspicious when Governments There are alternatives, the Chief Science Advisor advises; phenylappoint specialists and consultants and advisors of any kind to ephrine will do the job for 80% of congestion sufferers, and some newly created positions; more often than not they are little known people don’t even need a decongestant at all! to the public, and they are almost never made accountable to Well, sorry Prof, but I do need a decongestant from time to them. No Prime Minister, Cabinet, or indeed Government has time, on top of which I happen to be one of the twenty percent ever needed a Chief Science Advisor in the past, so why do we for whom phenylephrine simply doesn’t work. How did anyone suddenly appear to need one now? arrive at the 80-20 figure anyway? What studies were done? What Anonymous figures dispensing expert counsel from the shad- peer-reviewed research exists to back up this outlandish claim? ows, I suspect that all too Where is the empirical evioften their real purpose is to dence, I find myself wonder Why doesn’t John Key take it provide justification for things ing? I query because no-one which politicians desire to asked me, regular pseudoupon himself, to learn the basics inflict upon us; supposedly ephedrine user, and no-one complex things, the science asked anyone else I know, for himself, and make his own of which our esteemed laweither. Maybe the Professor makers either don’t underhas his sums wrong. Maybe stand or won’t pretend to, but decisions, given that he’s the one we New Zealand really has which are, we are nonetheless about twenty million peoput in charge? encouraged to believe, essenple, because according to tial to our economic or cormy unscientific grass-roots poreal salvation and wellbeing. The threat of these dark matters, research (I get out and talk to people), there are the thick end of real or imagined, will naturally cost us handsomely in terms of four million of us in that 20%. Phenylephrine doesn’t cut it for additional taxes and lessened freedoms. anybody I’ve spoken to. Professor Gluckman has a good public profile and indeed a The cynic in me wonders if perhaps the Prime Minister knows website, so he can’t be said to be entirely faceless, but you get full well that making pseudoephedrine prescription-only will my meaning. have absolutely Dick Squat effect on the availability and supply My suspicions are further aroused by the changes in opinion of methamphetamine in New Zealand, but he has to be seen to John Key appears to have undergone between the election cam- be doing something about it, however ineffective that might be, paign, and now, with regards to Global Warming; and the more and if he can use the prestige of his CSA’s qualifications and mana recent announcement of his apparent desire to shake the nation to support his actions, then so much the better. free from the clutches of the undeniably evil scourge which is If anyone in Government actually genuinely wanted to stop the methamphetamine, by banning the sale of over-the-counter cold P trade, of course, the logical course of action would be to shut and flu medicines containing pseudoephedrine. The Sudafed thing down the gangs who manufacture and distribute it. I mean we is as irksome as it is illogical, in this writer’s opinion. know who they are and where they are, and we also know that I have a vested interest, I don’t mind admitting, in that I can they don’t, for the most part, depend on local pill shoppers for chew my way through a half-dozen packets of cold and flu tablets their raw materials – the bulk of the pseudoephedrine used by over the course of a winter, and I don’t much care for the idea of P cooks in this country comes across the border in the form of

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Contac NT from China, a reputed 2% of the total production of which is diverted to the New Zealand methamphetamine industry. But maybe cracking down on the gangs is in the too-hard basket for our wet liberal, bleeding-heart, pinko Government (do we actually have a National administration, or not?) and its handwringing PC fixation with their “human rights”, or perhaps the genderless invertebrates who comprise our senior Police management these days simply don’t have the stomach for it. Either way, it’s a no-brainer that making someone like me cough up an extra thirty bucks to waste my doctor’s time, every time I need a packet of Codral, isn’t going to reduce the amount of P in circulation, because hey, guess what, just like 99% of other people, I don’t use it for that. I take it when I have a cold! Your favourite commentator is just a little recalcitrant by nature, and when this pointless law change is brought in, I won’t be running off to the doctor every time I need a dose of Sudafed. No, I’ll be buying Contac NT from my local Motorcycle Enthusiasts’ Club instead. It’s stronger than the stuff I can get at the chemist anyway, and I wouldn’t mind betting it’ll be cheaper too. Or maybe the Prime Minister really doesn’t know that this is the reality, and maybe he’s hired a Chief Scientific Advisor to excuse him from the responsibility of thinking about things. This just simply isn’t good enough. It behooves politicians, those who would set the laws which affect the rest of us, to learn about and understand the science which they claim as justification for their decisions. It’s not as if the basics, the essential concepts of the physical sciences, are difficult to grasp. Gluckman is a self-confessed Global Warming believer, and the Government, the Prime Minister, and even ACT Leader Rodney Hide MSc, appear to have gone awfully quiet of late, on the matter of re-examining the “science” behind the AGW theory, which is one of the things they promised us they were going to do if we rewarded them with our votes – remember, Gentlemen? Why is this, I wonder? Hide was once one of the most vocal of Kyoto’s critics, and John Key himself, early in the election campaign, had his own doubts to voice. What back-room deals have been cut, I wonder, what arguments have been made to sway the Prime Minister away from his own mind, and into the idiot camp, where so-called ‘carbon emissions’ are concerned? It isn’t good enough that John Key allows policy on something like Global Warming to be set by someone who isn’t qualified to comment on it, at least no more so than the next man. The Professor is an expert on child medicine, and I doff my cap to him in that regard; likewise, I would expect him to defer to my greater knowledge in the field of winemaking. But where climate science is concerned, Professor Sir Peter Gluckman is no better qualified to hold or to espouse an informed opinion than me, you, or the Prime Minister. And no-one at all voted for the Chief Science Advisor, so why should the nation be compelled to suffer under policies created according to his personal views, be they regarding climate policy or the methamphetamine trade? Why doesn’t John Key take it upon himself, to learn the basics for himself, and make his own decisions, given that he’s the one we put in charge? ACT’s Deputy Leader, Heather Roy, put her money where her mouth was, joining the Territorials and completing Basic Training long before taking up her responsibilities as Associate Minister of Defence. That, I would posit, is the kind of leadership which truly demands respect. Maybe the Prime Minister should take a leaf out of her book, and spend at least some of the generous ten-week

Parliamentary summer recess at Science Camp, learning the basics before he commits us to economic ruin in Copenhagen, on the basis of theories which don’t pass independent muster and which are promoted by interest groups with potentially dubious agendas. A bright man like Mr. Key should be able to pick up the essentials in a month or two – after all, it’s not like any of it is rocket science. I mean the central tenet of Global Warming theory, is that increasing levels of atmospheric carbon dioxide cause temperatures to rise on earth, which is a fairly straightforward proposition. Shooting this hypothesis down, however, is all the archaeological evidence, which says that rising temperatures (driven by the sun) occur first, and that this is what causes CO2 levels to increase, as dissolved carbon dioxide is out-gassed from the warming oceans. Not too difficult to understand, I wouldn’t have thought, very probably the sort of thing which John Key could get to grips with in only a few short weeks of intensive classroom work, and certainly not something which this writer, at least, would think to consult a paediatrician over for explanation. I really don’t want to knock Peter Gluckman. He’s a fine scientist and he has made an outstanding contribution to the advancement of medicine in this country and indeed the world. But perhaps swotting up on climate theory, and laying the foundations for policy concerning it, is something the Prime Minister should have been doing himself, rather than leaving it to his unelected advisor while he was off visiting Helen Clark at the UN in New York, delivering Vogel’s bread (and, some could be forgiven for presuming, picking up his next set of instructions). The people we elect and pay to make decisions need to understand that they cannot hide behind ignorance, or outsource their responsibilities to consultants. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to be able to grasp these simple truths, and the rest of us don’t need to be one to know when we’re being taken on some fantasy space ride.

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009 17

> line one

Chris Carter A victim of crime talk

spent around about an hour while driving into town the forward to punishments less severe than many of us as school kids other day listening to Leighton Smith’s Talk Show on Newstalk got from our teachers or the local cop for small misdemeanours. ZB. Not surprisingly, seeing that we all now have to endure daily This recently-generated ultra liberal official attitude towards news reports of rampant criminal events nationwide, most of “minor crime” has naturally removed from would be offenders the time that I was listening “Laura N Order” very much domi- any real fear of consequences. Indeed, crime in its initial stages nated the discussions taking place. one could well imagine would have much attraction to many a What, however to me at least, I found to be most encouraging youngster who wanted things but who had little money to buy were the clear indications that a consensus is developing that the them. This attitude would also be reinforced by the constant rantmajor reason for crime growing exponentially in New Zealand is ings coming from the Leftists in our midst who, apparently not almost entirely due to the apathetic acceptance by the population adhering to such truths as it being possible to be poor yet honest, at large that crime is a societal problem rather than something happily equate all forms of crime to being fiscally deprived. In that can be tackled by the individual citizen. other words if you’re a bit short of a quid then it’s perfectly OK There are of course heaps of societal problems, are there not? to steal from people who most likely are not much better than Usually of such magnitude or complexity that the public sim- the thieves who prey on them. ply leaves these matters to the Government of the day to sort Anyway, back to what appears to be a healthy realization now out and to hopefully solve. To be fair, Parliament by and large, being expressed by ordinary people in their letters to the editor, given that financial restraint is Talk Radio etc., and that now somewhat limiting their being that we must imme This recently-generated ultra efforts in many of their fields diately begin reporting all of endeavour, nevertheless for crimes, especially the so liberal official attitude towards the last several decades has had called smaller crimes, at absolutely no success at all in which point the true nature trying to reign in our burgeon- “minor crime” has naturally removed of this crime problem will be ing crime statistics. Even takseen to be what it really is, from would be offenders any real ing into account shamelessly massive and getting almost manipulating crime figures to completely out of control. fear of consequences give false indications that they Crime is costing each and are beginning to turn things every one of us an absolute around, even the most stupid amongst us knows quite well that fortune and in ways a lot of people have only recently started to few of us, every year, are now very lucky indeed if we don’t fall wake up to. Just taking theft as one example: Throughout the victim, one way or the other to the activities of the army of crim- whole country,how much is spent each year by householders on inals now operating more or less at will throughout the country. sophisticated locks, security screens and doors, alarm systems, Indeed, we have now reached the point where much blatant fences, security lighting, steadily increasing insurance bills, maybe theft, criminal damage and even actual assaults are no longer even a large guard dog, the list of this otherwise ridiculous expenditure reported to the Police by the public; people knowing full well that runs into hundreds of millions each year,and each year inevitably ,it our seriously overloaded coppers are struggling even to investigate just gets worse and worse! Why have we allowed the degeneration major crimes let alone being able to track down the hoods that of our otherwise very pleasant society to this point, we may well maybe stole your mower, broke into your car, kicked over your ask. We could probably go on for several thousand words tossing mail box, or spray painted primitive signs all over your front fence. this one around couldn’t we, but truth is that little is to be gained We now have in this whole area of crime a new lexicon of ter- through historical breast-beating. We have a clear crime explosion, minology that in essence has degraded theft of property under the only point at issue is where we go from here. $10,000 – most criminal damage and vandalism, even the collectPerhaps if we begin,as is now being increasingly suggested, ing of a black eye from a pissed off fellow motorist – to the new where each and everyone of us reports every crime that we know nomenclature “petty crime”, meaning that in effect those miracu- about to the Police, then plainly in very short order the Police are lously apprehended who fall into this general category may look going to be completely overloaded. This will be, strangely enough,

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a good thing, because by this happening we will be forced to double the size of our Police force to essentially match the coppers per head of population enjoyed by more crime free populations overseas. Readily available statistics clearly show, as in the previously crime ridden city of New York under Mayor Rudy Giuliani, that by markedly increasing Police numbers and pinching people for even minor crimes you will enjoy the most extraordinary drop in crime. We also need to stick a rocket under our lazy and slow moving Court system. Anyone arrested for minor crime should be fined or jailed within days rather than the months or even years that our dopey judiciary seems to think is quite in order. We seem to have forgotten that justice should be seen to be swift but fair. Our judicial practitioners appear to be more interested in spending as much time as they can dining at the public trough, and having become very fat and sleek as a result are now reduced to performing their duties with all the speed and grace of a corpulent sloth. In fact, it’s more than likely that we, the concerned taxpayers and victims of crime, would assist the Police in their duties best by employing people armed with cattle prods to properly awaken our judiciary to their responsibilities .Our courts are simply a disgrace, being largely a means whereby legal fortunes are being made by hordes of lawyers whose horrendous hourly charge out rates are enormously enhanced by them turning minor cases into near crimes of the century. This of course is essentially aided and abetted by a similar legion

of hand-wringers up there on the Bench who, almost entirely as ex lawyers themselves, are well aware of the legal rorts going on daily in their courts, but who choose timorously to ignore what’s going on. So there you go, fed up with our neat little country starting to look like Chicago in the early 1930’s, then as individuals let’s get to it. Let’s stop kidding ourselves – New Zealand is no longer a place where either your property or your person is safe. We can easily turn this around,in fact as generally law abiding citizens we each have a duty to really make being a crim a very hazardous occupation, rather than, at the moment, a very attractive and lucrative job option. Chris Carter appears in association with www.snitch.co.nz, a must-see site.

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009 19

> contra mundum

Matthew Flannagan The flat-earth myth

while back I made a passing comment on my blog criticiz- to research the history of theology when I was at university I know ing an advertisement which claimed that prior to Columbus that this story is fiction. It is a slanderous fabrication invented by the Church taught the world was flat. In response I received opponents of Christianity in the 19th century and has been thorthe following email from a high-school student in the US, oughly debunked by contemporary historians of science. I’ve been studying Christopher Columbus in my history class and The definitive study is undoubtedly that of Jeffrey Burton Russell my history books say that prior to Columbus everyone did think the in Inventing the Flat Earth: Columbus and Modern Historians. world was flat…I don’t know if it was a mistake in the history book Russell summarised his findings, in a paper presented to the 1997 or your mistake…but anyway…I guess I have some things to learn! American Scientific Affiliation Conference, as follows, God bless, Katie [W]ith extraordinary few exceptions no educated person in the We have all heard the story behind this. Prior to Columbus, history of Western Civilization from the third century B.C. onward the Church and its theological scholars taught that the world was believed that the earth was flat. A round earth appears at least as flat. For this reason they opposed Columbus’ proposed voyage in early as the sixth century BC with Pythagoras, who was followed by 1492 as they believed he would sail off the edge of the earth (or Aristotle, Euclid, and Aristarchus, among others in observing that the that he would prove them wrong and they would lose standing earth was a sphere. Although there were a few dissenters – Leukippos in society). Despite this Columbus sailed anyway and his rejec- and Demokritos for example – by the time of Eratosthenes (3 c. BC), tion of the Church’s position was vindicated, he scored a victory followed by Crates(2 c. BC), Strabo (3 c. BC), and Ptolemy (first for science and reason. c. AD), the sphericity of the My correspondent is corearth was accepted by all edu Because I took the time to rect. They do teach this in cated Greeks and Romans. high school text books. I was Nor did this situation research the history of theology taught it at both primary and change with the advent of high-school. In fact, not too Christianity. A few – at least when I was at university I know long ago Prentice Hall pubtwo and at most five – early lished claims to this effect in Christian fathers denied the that this story is fiction their middle school textbook sphericality of earth by mistakPrentice Hall Earth Science. enly taking passages such as Ps. At a philosophy conference at Otago University shortly after I 104:2-3 as geographical rather than metaphorical statements. On the graduated, I recall one speaker using the example of “medieval flat- other side tens of thousands of Christian theologians, poets, artists, and earthers” in his paper as an example of an irrational belief. Almost scientists took the spherical view throughout the early, medieval, and everyone in attendance nodded their heads in agreement; no one modern church. The point is that no educated person believed otherwise. contested the historical assumptions implicit in the example. More Russell traced the story about Columbus and medieval flatrecently Victoria University ran a slick television campaign stating earthers back to the 19th century; it originated in a fictional novel that in the 14th century most people believed the world was flat. by Washington Irving, The Life and Voyages of Christopher Columbus The ad showed a picture of a boat sailing across the sea only to I (1829). Later it was picked up by two influential books, John fall over the side of the earth and concluded “It makes you think.” Draper’s History of the Conflict between Religion and Science (1874) You might have gathered from obvious clues like the title and and Andrew Dickson White’s book A History of The Warfare from the way I have set this article up that I dispute the veracity Between Science and Theology in Christendom. These books famously of much of these historical claims. If I state this publicly there used the Columbus story plus many others to defend the thesis are very few settings where this admission does not at least earn that the Church, for centuries, suppressed science and worked to me an incredulous stare (as if I were, in fact, asserting that the prevent its flourishing; this is known as the conflict thesis. earth was flat). Invariably some comment follows, “come on Matt, These books and the conflict thesis they spawned, are highly everyone knows this story is true, didn’t you learn this at school? influential in popular science and media coverage of theological Haven’t you read any history textbooks?” and scientific issues today despite most historians rejecting them It is true that I did learn this story at school and that I have read as propaganda. In The Encyclopedia of the History of Science and it in more than one history textbook but because I took the time Religion, Collin Russell notes,

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Draper takes such liberty with history, perpetuating legends as fact that he is rightly avoided today in serious historical study. The same is nearly as true of White, though his prominent apparatus of prolific footnotes may create a misleading impression of meticulous scholarship. Steven Shapin wrotes in the same vein in The Scientific Revolution, In the late Victorian period it was common to write about the “warfare between science and religion” and to presume that the two bodies of culture must always have been in conflict. However, it is a very long time since these attitudes have been held by historians of science. Numerous other specialists in the field of the history of science and religion concur that the existence of medieval flat-earthers is a myth. Numbers and Lindberg noted in a journal article, “there was scarcely a Christian scholar of the Middle Ages who did not acknowledge [Earth’s] sphericity and even know its approximate circumference.” In his study of medieval cosmology, God and Reason in the Middle Ages, distinguished historian Edward Grant noted that, All medieval students who attended a university knew this. In fact any educated person in the Middle Ages knew the earth was spherical, or of a round shape. Medieval commentators on Aristotle’s “On the Heavens” or in the commentaries on a popular thirteenth century work titled “Treatise on the Sphere” by John of Sacrobosco, usually included a question in which they enquired “whether the whole earth is spherical”. Scholastics answered this question unanimously: The earth is spherical or round. No university trained author ever thought it was flat. Draper’s and White’s books remain widely cited despite being debunked as historically inaccurate. In fact, the kinds of textbooks Katie mentioned have been subject to scathing criticism precisely for making the aforementioned claims. Lawrence S. Lerner, a professor in the Department of Physics and Astronomy at California State University who is a member of the panel that wrote the 1990 framework for science education in California’s public schools criticised Prentice Hall’s history text denouncing it as “ignorant fakery.” In an article entitled “Fake ‘History’ That Is Flatly Wrong,” Lerner described the flat-earth claims as a “popular piece of pseudo historical folklore” he added that it “remains popular today among people who have had little education. These evidently include the people who produce ‘science’ books for Prentice Hall.” The historical facts are difficult to dispute. During the, so called, “dark ages” Boethius (480-525) cited a well known and accepted ancient Greek cosmological model that affirmed the sphericity of the earth in the Consolidation of Philosophy. Isidore of Serville (560-636) affirmed a round earth in the Etymologies. Bede (672735) in The Reckoning of Time taught the earth was round; as did Rabanus Marcus in the ninth century. The late middle-ages are no different. Hemannus Contractus (1013-155) measured the circumference of the world. Hildegard of Bingen (1098-1179) taught the world was round as did John of Sacrbosco (1200-1256) and Peire d’Ailly (1350-1420). Dante’s Divine Comedy portrays the earth as a sphere. In the Summa Theologicae Thomas Aquinas wrote, The physicist proves the earth to be round by one means, the astronomer by another: for the latter proves this by means of mathematics, e.g. by the shapes of eclipses, or something of the sort; while the former proves it by means of physics, e.g. by the movement of heavy bodies towards the center, and so forth. Even medieval textbooks taught the world was round. Both the Elucidarium of Honorius Augustodunensis, a twelfth century

As I have delved into religious history further I have found that this had not been the first or only instance where I was fed false propaganda about Christianity manual for educating clergy, and On the Sphere of the World, (the title should be a dead giveaway) the standard cosmological textbook of medieval universities in the 13th century, taught that the world was round. As I have delved into religious history further I have found that this had not been the first or only instance where I was fed false propaganda about Christianity. I could document several other false versions of history; the flat-earth story will suffice for now. As the blogger Contra Celsum wrote, “the flat earthers are those who think they existed.” Dr Matthew Flannagan holds a Doctorate in Theology from the University of Otago and a Masters with First Class Honours in Philosophy from the University of Waikato. He writes in the area of Philosophy of Religion, Theology and Ethics. He is an adjunct lecturer in Philosophy for Laidlaw College and Bethlehem Tertiary Institute. He blogs with his wife at www.mandm.org.nz.

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Fright Knight A BRITISH LORD EXPOSES UN WORLD GOVERNMENT BLUEPRINT In late October, former advisor to British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, Lord Christopher Monckton, set off an internet firestorm when he told an American audience the upcoming Copenhagen Climate Treaty contains a big Trojan Horse in its fine print – plans for a World Government with the power to tax all people, and enforce UN laws. IAN WISHART reports

t (the 2009 United Nations Climate Change Conference in) Copenhagen, this December, weeks away, a treaty will be signed. Your president will sign it. Most of the third world countries will sign it, because they think they’re going to get money out of it. Most of the left-wing regimes around the world, like the European Union, will rubber stamp it. Virtually nobody won’t sign it. “I have read that treaty. And what it says is this: that a world government is going to be created. The word “government” actually appears as the first of three purposes of the new entity. The second purpose is the transfer of wealth from the countries of the West to third-world countries, in satisfaction of what is called, coyly, “a climate debt” because we’ve been burning CO2 and they haven’t and we’ve been screwing up the climate. We haven’t been screwing up the climate, but that’s the line. And the third purpose of this new entity, this government, is enforcement. “How many of you think that the word “election” or “democracy” or “vote” or “ballot” occurs anywhere in the 200-pages of that treaty? Quite right, it doesn’t appear once. So, at last, the com22 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009

munists who piled out of the Berlin Wall and into the environmental movement, and took over Greenpeace so that my friends who funded it left within a year, because they captured it now the apotheosis as at hand. They are about to impose a communist world government on the world. You have a president who has very strong sympathies with that point of view. He’s going to sign. He’ll sign anything. He’s a Nobel Peace Prize laureate; of course he’ll sign it…” If those words from Lord Christopher Monckton, a former advisor to Margaret Thatcher, sound vaguely, or even strongly, ‘conspiracy theory’, you’d be right; the idea of a ‘One World Government’ ruling the planet has been warned about for decades by the kind of people who dress in sackcloth and ashes and carry signs saying ‘Repent – the end is nigh!’. We’ve all seen them on street corners and some of us have sniggered, but while we were chortling it appears that UN diplomats were working furiously behind the scenes to cobble together something just like it after all. The draft treaty is 181 pages long, and its basic thrust is that global warming is human caused, primarily by developed nations, and that those developed nations must not only agree to massive

“He’s a Nobel Peace Prize laureate, of course he’ll sign it…” / UPI

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cuts in their use of carbon, but also agree to massive transfers of money and new technology to the third world, to help developing countries combat and adapt to climate change. To implement this, as Monckton has already noted, the UN negotiating text envisages a special international “government” whose task will be to determine world climate policies, administer funds and enforce compliance. That’s the plain English explanation. In UN diplo-speak, it reads like this at paragraph 38 of Annex 1 of the report: “The scheme for the new institutional arrangement under the Convention will be based on three basic pillars: government; facilitative mechanism; and financial mechanism. “The government will be ruled by the COP (Conference of Parties – UN member states who sign the Copenhagen Treaty) with the support of a new subsidiary body on adaptation, and of an Executive Board responsible for the management of the new funds and the related facilitative processes and bodies” Further into the job description the UN’s Copenhagen draft says the government will oversee: “An international registry for the monitoring, reporting and verification of compliance of emission reduction commitments, and the transfer of technical and financial resources from developed countries to developing countries.”

oated in the kind of language that makes your eyes glaze over, it may seem innocuous at first glance, but as with all things political, the devil is in the detail. What the world leaders who gather in Denmark are considering is an agreement that firstly acknowledges core principles to which they and their countries will be legally bound, and secondly a new international infrastructure to take control of the process and ensure members meet their commitments. Looking first at those core principles, the treaty text is heavily weighed towards a socialist approach to funding the third world, and if New Zealand signs at Copenhagen and ratifies, our country is agreeing to uphold the following principles: “1. Recognizing that largest share of greenhouse gas in the atmosphere are originated from developed countries. “2. Recognizing that the right to development is a basic human right that is undeprivable. “3. Recalling that economic and social development and poverty eradication are the first and overriding priorities of the developing countries. “4. Recognizing that the right to development of developing countries shall be adequately and effectively respected and ensured in the process of global common efforts in fighting against climate change. “5. Given their historical responsibility and development level and based on the principle of equality, developed country Parties shall have deeper cuts in their GHG emissions so as to ensure adequate spaces for developing countries to achieve their goals of substantive development and eradication of poverty. Developing countries should take nationally appropriate mitigation actions in the context of development, supported and enabled by technology, financing and capacity-building from developed countries. “Economy-wide emission reductions by all countries shall be set as a stabilization of GHG concentrations in the atmosphere at 350 ppm carbon dioxide equivalent (CO2 eq) and a temperature increase below 2ºC above the pre-industrial level. For this purpose, Parties shall collectively reduce global emissions by at least

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45 per cent from 1990 levels by 2020 and by at least 95 per cent from 1990 levels by 2050.” To achieve those goals, member states will be agreeing to subject themselves to central UN control, as the UN draft makes clear: “Establishing systems of accountability such as institutional checks and balances and open administrative systems. Establishing the rule of law through means and processes for enforcement.” While it is common for countries to sign international treaties giving up some of their sovereignty by submitting to international jurisdiction (the International Court, or World Trade Organisation are examples), those treaties don’t normally affect the entire economies of member nations and nor do they directly affect the livelihoods of every single citizen. The climate change treaty is different, however. A fifty percent cut in greenhouse gas emissions in New Zealand by 2020, for example, would effectively mean imposing carless days six days a week, with all the associated trauma to work and social lives that follows such a dictate. Under the proposed Copenhagen Treaty, the specifics of how a country like New Zealand meets its emissions targets is left open to the member state, but NZ will be required to submit regular reports on its progress: “All Parties shall develop and regularly update and submit information relating to the implementation of their nationally appropriate mitigation strategies. Such information shall be reviewed and verified according to agreed rules and guidelines. “All Parties, except for the least developed countries and small island developing States, shall develop and regularly update and submit a national inventory of anthropogenic emissions by sources and removals by sinks of all gases.” That last paragraph is another example of where the devil could be hidden in the detail. It requires New Zealand to account for emissions from all sources. British politicians are proposing to measure the carbon footprints of every man, woman and child by introducing “personal carbon accounts” with an ID card that would limit how much petrol or electricity your family could buy, or even whether you were permitted to take an overseas holiday. “Like with a bank account, a statement would be sent out each month to help people keep track of what they are using,” reported the Telegraph this month. “If their “carbon account” hits zero, they would have to pay to get more credits.” As Arbuthnot Banking Group economist Ruth Lea told Britain’s Daily Mail: “This is all about control of the individual and you begin to wonder whether this is what the green agenda has always been about. It’s Orwellian. This will be an enormous tax on business.” And not just business. Britain’s Environment Ministry hopes to slash personal carbon usage from 9 tonnes per person to only 2 tonnes per person in what could be the biggest upheaval to modern life since we stopped using horses and carts for daily transport. Across the Tasman, Queensland has just announced homeowners will be required to document the energy efficiency of their houses before being allowed to sell them: “Queenslanders selling their homes will soon have to complete a 56-point questionnaire detailing the property’s environmental credentials,” the Brisbane Courier Mail reported mid November. “Laws passed in State Parliament last night introduced the so-called sustainability declaration, which was criticised by the Opposition as adding unnecessary red tape. “Before being able to offer a property for sale, home owners must

fill out a form describing its energy and water efficiency, including whether or not it has solar power, a gas cooktop, insulation, water-saving shower heads, or a rain water tank.” Other questions – written in bureaucratese – homeowners must fill in include: “Approximate kg of greenhouse gas emissions from annual household electricity use = A x 1.04… “A2 From the entry (as per the above) there is level access (i.e. no greater than 10mm) throughout main living areas (kitchen, a living room and at least one bedroom, bathroom and toilet)… “W4 ___ out of ___ shower heads are minimum 3-star WELS>> (or AAA rated) rated (max 9 L/min) or ___ out of ___ shower heads are minimum 4-star WELS>> (max 7.5 L/min)” “To answer misleadingly is a crime,” notes Herald-Sun columnist Andrew Bolt, “as is to sell your house without filling in this form.” Back in May, Investigate reported on a 2005 briefing paper to the UN suggesting the introduction of a world government in carefully controlled stages. Step one was to create a UN Council for Sustainable Development or similar organization with the power to regulate international economic policy: “[By] producing common guidelines on the priorities of the global agenda, monitoring their follow-up and acting as a coordinating body for tradeoffs between trade, employment and the environment.” “Socialists and social democrats agree,” continued the UN briefing paper, that with increasing globalization and, in particular, increasing integration of financial markets, there is a need for a global regulator of these markets as well as an institution that can help countries…Markets do need regulation and supervision, and when they have become global, these functions must also be global. “Moreover, the developing countries generally…should have access to concessional resources, both, because they cannot cover the costs of providing for global public goods from which everyone benefits such as environmental protection, disease control and security and, as a matter of international solidarity, there should be some redistribution of income from the most fortunate to those in need across national borders.” As to the ultimate responsibility of the proposed new ‘government’: “What is proposed is a UNESEC [the formal acronym for the UN Sustainability Council] which acts as a strategic board for the entire international system in the economic, social and environmental sphere…” Eventually, in the final stage, the UN proposes some kind of voting system so that people can directly elect UN parliamentarians. “International democracy is feasible and politically necessary. Such an Assembly should be more than just another UN institution. It would become a building block of a new, democratically legitimate, world order,” says the briefing paper. So if, indeed, the Copenhagen Climate Treaty is the Trojan Horse containing the embryonic structure of a looming world government that’s been in planning for a number of years now, how easy will it be to wriggle out of if New Zealanders decide down the track they don’t like the idea? The same debate is raging in the United States after Lord Monckton’s warning that President Obama may be preparing to sign away American sovereignty. Some commentators note that the US Constitution requires a major international treaty to be ratified by 67% of senators – and

that Obama has no show of getting that level of support. Others note that Obama could try to use his executive powers in a constitutional stand-off. New Zealand’s position is a little more dangerous. The section of international law that governs adherence to treaties is the Vienna Convention, which confirms that if the US senate, or the NZ Parliament, formally ratify a treaty, it is binding forever in the absence of a majority decision by signers to dissolve it:1 “New Zealand cannot easily withdraw from the Protocol,” noted a parliamentary report on one proposed treaty, “as neither the Protocol, nor the Vienna Convention to which it is attached, contain articles dealing with withdrawal or denunciation. The position is therefore governed by customary international law, which states that withdrawal is not possible unless it is established that the parties intended to admit the possibility of withdrawal, or the right of withdrawal may be implied from the treaty. On this basis, it is considered that it could be difficult for New Zealand to withdraw from the Protocol.” There is nothing in the Copenhagen draft permitting a withdrawal or denunciation. If New Zealand signs it, and ratifies it, we are locked in for life. Recognising that New Zealand had signed a number of treaties without fully comprehending the fine points, Green MP Keith Locke introduced legislation nine years ago to ensure all treaties are formally approved by parliament before signing, wherever possible.2 “Clause 6 requires the Crown to present to the House of Representatives all treaties to which it is proposed that New Zealand become party. Every such treaty must be accompanied by a national interest analysis.”

hat won’t happen with Copenhagen, because the Green legislation did not make it through the parliamentary process alive, so New Zealand is getting ready to sign Copenhagen, despite almost no public debate on its content. With the Government having enough of a majority to ratify the treaty in parliamentary legislation, there is no constitutional protection for New Zealand if the treaty turns out to be as bad as its draft text suggests. According to a 1991 Law Commission report3, much of NZ’s laws are already based on international treaties; “About one quarter of the 600 or so public Acts which make up the New Zealand statute book give effect to international obligations. “Even if a treaty is not given direct force by legislation, it might nevertheless have significance in the operation of our legal system. For instance: (a) The treaty might be declaratory of customary international law on a particular topic. So provisions of the Vienna Convention on the Law of Treaties, while not being expressly adopted by legislation in New Zealand, Australia or the United Kingdom, have been referred to by courts in those countries on the basis that they authoritatively state the customary international law of treaties and customary international law is part of the law of New Zealand. (b) Courts will if possible interpret statutes consistently with international obligations. But if the statute plainly contradicts the treaty, that interpretative course is not available. “The list of New Zealand statutes which appear to give effect to INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009 25

New Zealand’s international obligations emphasises the very pervasive impact of international law on our domestic legal system.” Indeed, despite not formally ratifying the Vienna Convention New Zealand has used it, arguing that the Vienna Convention had force in bringing France to heel over the Rainbow Warrior bombings4 Likewise, the NZ Supreme Court cited the Vienna Convention in its 2005 ruling on Ahmed Zaoui:5 “In terms of articles 31 and 32 of the Vienna Convention on the Law of Treaties, which are accepted on all sides as stating the rules of customary international law for the interpretation of treaties and which, as such, are part of the law of New Zealand…” noted the court.

ut the danger of Copenhagen is that there are growing expectations world leaders will sign up to a vague structural treaty, leaving the pesky detail up to further discussions next year. Why is that a problem? Because ratifying the basic structure will legitimize whatever blanks are filled in later. It’s the political equivalent of signing a blank cheque, and if you want to see where negotiations might be heading, you can always read the alternative version of the Copenhagen Treaty proposed by non-government organizations (NGOs) affiliated to the UN:6 “All industrialized countries must act – immediately and ambitiously. Compliance should not only be assessed at the end of the commitment period. Early warning triggers should be put in place to flag when a country is behind in meeting its mitigation or MRV support obligations for finance, technology, and capacity building and then refer to said country to the Compliance Committee. The consequences for non-compliance should be strict; including, inter alia, heavy financial penalties.” As part of that compliance package, the NGOs are pressuring world leaders to sign a treaty that demonstrates “how the country is specifically going to meet the targets along the way to 2050 including measures that the country has put in place to address.” The areas the NGOs expect the new Copenhagen structure to control are all aspects of the economy related to “energy sector emissions; transportation emissions; food and residential building emissions; fuel combustion per sector; agricultural emissions; fugitive emissions from solid fuels and oil and gas; international bunker fuels; measures to reduce industrial gases and/or measures to reduce emissions from solvent and metal production and waste treatment.” Under the heading “compliance”, they propose: “Furthermore, an automatic referral to the Facilitative Branch should be triggered, by expert review teams, as soon as a country’s GHG inventory or financial reporting shows that the country is 15 % off the trajectory necessary to meet its targets or support obligations. A country would be required to explain to the Facilitative Branch how it intends to be in compliance at the end of the commitment period. Other provisions for early warning of non-compliance should also be included in the Copenhagen Agreement.” In other words, if a country so much as drifts “off the trajectory” in a given year (perhaps because of the cost of an economic crisis or natural disaster relief”, it can be hauled before the interrogation panel. The greens also propose that developed countries like New Zealand “pre pay” a bond just in case we think about drifting. “The bond should represent a portion of the penalties a Party would be required to pay in the case of non-compliance. In essence, a Party would be required to pre-pay, if it looked like the Party 26 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009

could be in non-compliance, thus acting as another incentive to ultimately achieve compliance. At the end of a commitment period, the bond would be returned to a Party in the case of compliance or forfeited in the case of noncompliance. “The interest on the bond would not be returned to the Party and instead transferred to the Copenhagen Climate Facility. The loss of the interest is the penalty for poor planning and slow action that risked non-compliance in the first place.” But what about third world and developing countries who fail to spend the carbon billions wisely that have been forcibly seized from New Zealand taxpayers? Surely they will face penalities: “At the appropriate time, the expert review teams should consider whether developing countries, as a group, have stayed within developing country aggregate carbon budget. If the aim has not been met, the Facilitative Branch may issue a statement expressing its concern,” says the NGO treaty draft. “Under no circumstances may matters relating to developing countries be referred to the Enforcement Branch.” So in other words, even if a tinpot dictator spent $2 billion on wine, women and a Swiss bank account, “under no circumstances” could he be penalized. If you think all this sounds a little draconian and unfair, you’re in good company. The thorny issue of whether developed nations should be paying out up to 2% of GDP (more than NZ$2 billion a year in our case) to developing countries as “climate compensation” and under the control of a new UN “government” is one of the sticking points that’s held up treaty negotiations. The UN has publicly signaled it wants between US$600 billion and $1 trillion a year in funding. But the big budget is matched by big ambitions and the UN has some powerful friends in the Obama administration, like science ‘czar’ John Holdren who coauthored a book in 1977, Ecoscience, advocating a world government as well.7 Holdren’s comments were directed then at what he and his coauthors saw as the environmental threat posed by overpopulation, and he saw the need for governments in the future to be empowered to act, so as to keep human impact within prescribed limits, such as introducing Chinese-style limits on the number of children the world government will permit: “In today’s world, however, the number of children in a family is a matter of profound public concern. The law regulates other highly personal matters. For example, no one may lawfully have more than one spouse at a time. Why should the law not be able to prevent a person from having more than two children? “Compulsory population-control laws, even including laws requiring compulsory abortion, could be sustained under the existing Constitution if the population crisis became sufficiently severe to endanger the society. “Adding a sterilant to drinking water or staple foods is a suggestion that seems to horrify people more than most proposals for involuntary fertility control. Indeed, this would pose some very difficult political, legal, and social questions, to say nothing of the technical problems. No such sterilant exists today, nor does one appear to be under development. To be acceptable, such a substance would have to meet some rather stiff requirements: it must be uniformly effective, despite widely varying doses received by individuals, and despite varying degrees of fertility and sensitivity among individuals; it must be free of dangerous or unpleasant side effects; and it must have no effect on members of the opposite sex, children, old people, pets, or livestock.

“A program of sterilizing women after their second or third child, despite the relatively greater difficulty of the operation than vasectomy, might be easier to implement than trying to sterilize men. The development of a long-term sterilizing capsule that could be implanted under the skin and removed when pregnancy is desired opens additional possibilities for coercive fertility control. The capsule could be implanted at puberty and might be removable, with official permission, for a limited number of births.” The irony is that this thinking continues to dominate in the environmental movement, even though studies have long shown that you could feed the same number of people on only 30% of the land currently used for farming worldwide, if you introduced more efficient farming techniques. But if you thought giving a UN entity that kind of power over life and death was nightmarish, take a look at the next suggestion from Obama’s science advisor: “Toward a Planetary Regime “Perhaps those agencies, combined with UNEP and the United Nations population agencies, might eventually be developed into a Planetary Regime – sort of an international superagency for population, resources, and environment. Such a comprehensive Planetary Regime could control the development, administration, conservation, and distribution of all natural resources, renewable or nonrenewable, at least insofar as international implications exist.” If the Copenhagen Treaty is fully implemented, that’s effectively what will happen. The treaty proposes a new “government” entity with the power to make binding policy decisions that apply to signatories of the treaty. Holdren’s vision in 1977 sounds suspiciously similar to what is now on the negotiating table, as this next extract from his book shows: “Thus the Regime could have the power to control pollution not only in the atmosphere and oceans, but also in such freshwater bodies as rivers and lakes that cross international boundaries or that discharge into the oceans. The Regime might also be a logical central agency for regulating all international trade, perhaps including assistance from DCs [developed countries] to LDCs [less developed countries], and including all food on the international market.” From New Zealand’s point of view, as a major agriculture producer, such a “regime” could control New Zealand food production and exports, as well as pricing. “The Planetary Regime might be given responsibility for determining the optimum population for the world,” continues Holdren, “and for each region and for arbitrating various countries’ shares within their regional limits. Control of population size might remain the responsibility of each government, but the Regime would have some power to enforce the agreed limits.” That was 1977. Then in 1994 the UN Development Programme (the agency now run by Helen Clark) made a similar call: “There must be a ‘New World Social Charter’ where the world will redistribute wealth…and where the UN must become the principle custodian of global human security and help with basic education, healthcare, immunization, and family planning. “A major restructuring of the world’s income distribution, production and consumption patterns may therefore be a necessary precondition for any viable strategy for sustainable human development.” That was 1994. So if you think Copenhagen in December 2009 is just about set-

“The thorny issue of whether developed nations should be paying out up to 2% of GDP (more than NZ$2 billion a year in our case) to developing countries as “climate compensation” and under the control of a new UN “government” is one of the sticking points that’s held up treaty negotiations” ting emissions targets, you are sadly mistaken. The main thrust of Copenhagen is to usher in the architecture of a new world structure to implement what British Prime Minister Gordon Brown, chief UK climate advisor Nicholas Stern and the left wing lobby group Socialist International all label “the Global New Deal”. “I’m always appreciative when a fellow says what he really means, writes one Canadian blogger this month. “Tim Flannery, the jetsetting doomsaying global warm-monger from down under, was in Ottawa the other day promoting his latest eco-tract, and offered a few thoughts on “Copenhagen” – which is transnational-speak for December’s UN Convention on Climate Change. ‘We all too often mistake the nature of those negotiations in Copenhagen,’ remarked professor Flannery. ‘We think of them as being concerned with some sort of environmental treaty. That is far from the case. The negotiations now ongoing toward the Copenhagen agreement are in effect diplomacy at the most profound global level. They deal with every aspect of our life and they will influence every aspect of our life, our economy, our society’.” Anything approved at Copenhagen will only be a start. Final agreement could be months or even a couple of years away and the text above remains a draft. Nonetheless, remember where you read it first, and ask your MP and local newspaper editor whether they’ve read the Copenhagen Treaty and its associated side-documents. If you wish to sign up for updates and make your voice heard, visit the website www.climaterealists.org.nz References 1 http://www.parliament.nz/NR/rdonlyres/6FD428CC-918B-4E0A-A781F2B135FD9F01/13852/DBSCH_SCR_2463_2409.pdf 2 http://www.greens.org.nz/bills/international-treaties-bill 3 http://www2.justice.govt.nz/lac/pubs/1991/legislative_change/treaties.html 4 http://www.iilj.org/courses/documents/RainbowWarrior.pdf 5 http://www.humanrights.co.nz/documents/SCDecision21June05.pdf 6 http://assets.panda.org/downloads/copenhagen_climate_treaty _060609_1.pdf 7 http://zombietime.com/john_holdren/ n INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009 27

HOT DEBATE

CO2 OR THE SUN? YOU BE THE JUDGE For 20 years, the United Nations and its scientific teams have been building a case that global warming is caused by man-made CO2 emissions. In this extract from his newly-released bestseller, Heaven+Earth, however, IAN PLIMER singles out a better suspect

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louds reflect 60% of the Sun’s radiation. A change of just 1% in cloudiness of planet Earth could account for all of the 20th Century warming. However, IPCC computers don’t do clouds. Fine particles in the atmosphere are the nuclei for condensation of water vapour into the water droplets that form low-level clouds. Wind-blown dust (especially if it is rich in clay) from continents, meteoritic and cometary dust and volcanic dust block the input of energy to Earth. This can affect climate. However, these dust particles are normally too large to act as nuclei for water droplets and have little effect on the formation of clouds at low altitudes (i.e. less than 3 km altitude). Sulphuric acid aerosols formed from dimethyl sulphide released from micro-organisms in the oceans affect low-level cloud formation over a very large area because the oceans cover some 70% of the Earth’s surface. Dimethyl sulphide reacts with water and sunlight to produce sulphuric acid droplets. This reaction is accelerated by lightning in a process called ion seeding.458 Sea spray provides very small grains of sodium chloride from storm waves, especially in winter at latitudes 40–60º. Sporadic volcanic eruptions, hot gas vents and hot springs release large amounts of sulphurous gases into the atmosphere.459 Various sulphur gases in the atmosphere combine with water and form sulphuric acid droplets. These droplets are also the nuclei for low-level cloud formation. Updrafts in cumulus clouds carry the clouds’ water droplets to colder regions of the atmosphere. They freeze to form snow and hail. At high latitudes, water vapour droplets can form ice and these we see in high cirrus clouds. These nuclei of ice are the sites for further water condensation. Because there are billions of cloud condensation nuclei, many meteorologists conclude that there are enough cloud-forming nuclei such that cosmic rays are not necessary for cloud formation. In a similar way, charged atoms and molecules from burnt aircraft fuel assist in the formation of nuclei that form the cloud condensation trails of aircraft.460 Cosmic rays produce ions which form cloud condensation nuclei and hence clouds. Electrically charged ions induce water molecules to nucleate even when there are not enough sulphuric acid nuclei to stimulate water droplet formation. The Danish National Space Centre461,462 has shown that cosmic radiation, which derives from high-speed atomic particles originating in exploded stars far away in the galaxy, plays a significant role in promoting cloud formation. The causal mechanism whereby cosmic rays facilitate the formation of clouds in the Earth’s atmosphere has been experimentally determined.463 If this mechanism of forming clouds by cosmic radiation is valid, it should be able to be measured. And it has. The correlation between the Earth’s magnetic field and rainfall in the tropics can only be explained if cosmic rays have an influence on the formation of clouds.464 The observed variation of 3–4% of global cloud cover during Solar Cycle 22 was strongly correlated with the cosmic ray flux.465 This, in turn, is related to solar activity and the Earth’s magnetic field.466 The weaker the solar activity, the more cosmic rays strike Earth and the more abundant is cloud cover in the lower atmosphere.467,468 The effect is greater at high latitudes because of the shielding effect on the Earth’s magnetic field on high-energy charged particles.469 We must also be mindful of the fact that the Earth’s magnetic field constantly changes. The relationship between cosmic ray flux and cloud cover is the link between solar activity,470,471 especially the solar cycle length,472,473 stratospheric oscillations474 and global temperature.475

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Many have shown the link between solar activity, low-level clouds and climate.476,477,478,479 Climate change occurs over time scales greater than one solar cycle. Furthermore, not all short-term variation in cloud cover is driven by cosmic rays. No solar physicist has ever suggested this. Cloud cover within the solar cycle is driven by far more powerful forces, namely the ocean lag effect. As solar activity increases, the atmosphere will warm much more quickly than the ocean. This means less cloud. As solar activity decreases, the opposite occurs. Cloud cover varies because of local temperature and humidity. El Niño events create an uplift of warm moist air in the central Pacific resulting in much cloud. La Niña events create rising moist air further to the west. All this creates grief for the UN’s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) computer modellers. Computer models can only process the information that is fed into them. The IPCC has almost two dozen climate models. All are more sensitive in their cloud feedback than estimates of cloud feedback measured in real climate systems.480 There is not enough cloud observation data to measure any long-term changes in cloudiness with an accuracy of less than 1%. This means that we really do not know how much of the 20th Century warming is natural and, if there are large errors on our observational estimates of feedback, then it is quite possible that the real climate system cannot be modelled. Furthermore, not one of the IPCC models predicted that there would be cooling after 1998. If the models cannot make testable predictions a few years in advance, then they are totally useless for the prediction of climate change hundreds of years into the future. The IPCC theoretical models have a fixed number of climate forcing and feedback mechanisms. This allows the total effect of solar influences to be diminished. The problem is that such models dismiss unknown feedback mechanisms and alternative solar effects on climate such as UV energy changes in production and loss of ozone and variations in solar wind that affect the formation of clouds.481 While these factors remain unknown, they will be poorly modelled or not used at all (which is the approach taken by the IPCC). Solar changes are far greater than solar assumptions made in climate models482,483,484,485,486 and solar changes trigger temperature changes. Changes in temperature trigger changes in the amount of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere, a process seen in Antarctic ice core.487 THAT BIG BALL OF HEAT IN THE SKY The Sun formed on the collapsed core of a supernova. We might have learned at school that the Sun is composed of hydrogen and helium. Suspicions that the Sun is not that simple have been around for more than 30 years. Isotopes of oxygen, magnesium, xenon and nitrogen in the Sun, solar wind, planets, meteorites, solar flares and the Moon suggest that the Sun consists mostly of the same elements (oxygen, iron, magnesium, calcium, sulphur, nickel and strontium) as ordinary meteorites and the rocky planets.488,489,490,491,492,493 There is recent visual evidence of rigid ironrich structures below the Sun’s fluid outer zone.494 Elements such as iron, oxygen, nickel, sulphur and silicon are only made in the deep interior of supernovae. The Sun is actually a pulsating star495 and this creates variable energy output. We are continually finding supernovae debris in our Solar System and the view is now that it is this material that collapsed to form the Sun.496,497,498 The Sun is recycled stardust.

“There is not enough cloud observation data to measure any long-term changes in cloudiness with an accuracy of less than 1%. This means that we really do not know how much of the 20th Century warming is natural and, if there are large errors on our observational estimates of feedback, then it is quite possible that the real climate system cannot be modelled”

Present knowledge shows that the Sun is composed of ordinary elements derived from the debris of an earlier star roughly in the same position as the present Sun. It is a pulsar, dynamic, and emits a variable amount of energy. This variation in energy emitted has not been great enough to allow the Earth’s oceans to freeze or to fry life on Earth. ANGRY SOLAR EMISSIONS The NASA solar storm warnings suggest that we are heading for a time of low solar activity with fewer solar flares and radiation storms. That’s the good news. If there are lunar and Martian missions during this time, the chances of computer, communication and navigation equipment being disabled by a restless Sun are lessened. However, Solar Cycle 25 will be weak, peaking around 2022. We earthlings may enjoy more clouds and cooler times. The bad news is that fewer cosmic rays will be swept away by the solar wind. Space travel will be more dangerous. The constraint on space travel to Mars and other distant planets is that once astronauts are outside the Earth’s protective magnetic shield, the greatly

intensified bombardment by cosmic radiation over long periods of space travel cause an increased risk of cancer, cataracts and other maladies. Cosmic rays penetrate metal, so increasing the weight of spacecraft using metal shielding will not solve the problem. If astronauts leave the Sun’s protective magnetic shield to explore the far reaches of the Solar System, it would be a one-way trip. Solar storms are common. The Sun emits a relentless current of charged particles, the solar wind. These warp the Earth’s magnetic field. There are also vast balls of ionised gas that are released by the Sun as solar flares. These are best seen during a total eclipse. Minor solar flares occur once or twice each decade. Solar activity had its first effect on the modern world when at 6.30 pm on 28 August 1859, the telegraph lines out of Boston failed. Elsewhere, electrical equipment burst into flames. The Northern Lights were seen as far south as the Bahamas. Mayhem was caused by a huge solar flare with its associated electromagnetic blast. A contemporary report by Stuart Clark recorded: In September of 1859, the entire Earth was engulfed in a cloud of seething gas, and a blood-red aurora erupted across from the INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009 31

poles to the tropics. Around the world, telegraph systems crashed, machines burst into flames, and electric shocks rendered operators unconscious. Compasses and other sensitive instruments reeled as if struck by a massive magnetic fist. For the first time, people began to suspect that the Earth was not isolated from the rest of the Universe. A solar flare in 1989 knocked out the electricity grid in northern Quebec. If the Sun had produced a superflare 10,000 times more energetic than the 1989 flare, the ice on Jupiter’s moons would have melted and all life on Earth would have been fried. All amateur radio operators, satellite technicians, pilots and astronomers keep a watchful eye on solar variations. We are fortunate that the Sun has been extremely stable over a long period. Its very slight variations appear to drive climate.499 We can thank our lucky star for long-term temperature stability, life on Earth, weather and climate. There is a correlation between sudden bursts of solar activity, expressed as solar flares, and climate.500 An angry Sun produces auroras and the Northern Lights become more active and creep south. The long-term observational record of the number of auroras in the Northern Hemisphere is a measurement of solar flare activity and the number of auroras per decade shows a close correlation with climate.501 The hydrogen and helium degassed from the Earth’s core and mantle are lost into space. However, there is an inflow of atomic bullets of hydrogen. The varying atomic hydrogen inflow into the Earth’s atmosphere from the Sun and space (hydrogen forcing) is a highly speculative climate forcing mechanism.502 The Sun also emits a variable amount of ultra-violet (UV) energy. UV energy affects ozone in the stratosphere. However, ozone in the stratosphere is also controlled by solar cycles,503 volcanic emissions,504 ozone depleting substances505 and climate change.506 Variations in ultra-violet radiation are 0.5–0.8%. Variations have been measured, deduced from models and determined from the changes in the UV-absorbing compounds in the spore wall of club mosses.507 This variation is cyclical (22 years and 80–90 years).508 This has an impact on the amount of ozone produced.509 There is a link between the amount of solar energy hitting the atmosphere and upper atmosphere wind currents,510 and the amount of UV energy changes the amount of sulphur compounds that move between the atmosphere and the ocean.511 This, in turn, affects the number of cloud condensation nuclei, the reflection of solar energy back into space and, as a result, the sea surface temperature. The variability in the UV radiation from the Sun not only impacts on ozone production (and the “hole” in the ozone layer) but also can affect global temperature.512 When next the Sun becomes exceptionally angry, grid electricity, radio, television, internet, telephone, satellite and navigation systems will collapse. We might then sit around under the lights of an aurora and talk to each other. The first conversational topic will be that the Sun is the meaning of life. INNER TURBULENCE OF THE SUN Solar physicists use a standard solar model to calculate many of the properties of the Sun’s interior. These calculations suggest a core (~25% solar radius) where nuclear fusion occurs, a surrounding radiative zone (~70% solar radius) and an enveloping convection zone (~5% solar radius) where heat makes its way to the surface by convective flow. Solar instability can be generated by rotating plasma in the presence of a magnetic field. This gives rise to ther32 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009

mal fluctuations and deviations from the standard solar model.513 Constraints on the size of the core magnetic field are such that there is a magnetic field514 which displays considerable fluctuations.515 The Sun is a magnetic plasma diffuser that selectively moves light elements like hydrogen and helium and the lighter isotopes of other elements to its surface. Hydrogen ions, generated by emission and decay of neutrons at the core, are accelerated upward by deep magnetic fields, thus acting as a carrier gas that maintains separation of lighter from heavier components in the Sun.

“There is a correlation between sudden bursts of solar activity, expressed as solar flares, and climate. An angry Sun produces auroras and the Northern Lights become more active and creep south. The long-term observational record of the number of auroras in the Northern Hemisphere is a measurement of solar flare activity and the number of auroras per decade shows a close correlation with climate”

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009 33

Variation in the solar constant (upper diagram) showing that the solar constant is not constant. This solar constant variation can be correlated with the numbers of sunspots (lower diagram). Sunspot Cycles 21, 22 and 23 shown on lower diagram.

Neutron emissions from the centre of the Sun trigger a series of reactions that generate solar luminosity, solar neutrinos, outpourings of the neutron decay product (hydrogen) in the solar wind and separation of heavy atoms from lighter atoms. This process also takes place in many other stars.516 The Sun’s great internal conveyor belt is a massive circulating current of hot plasma within the Sun. It has a northern and southern branch. Each takes some 40 years to perform a complete circuit and the turning of the belt controls the sunspot cycle. Normally, the conveyor belt moves at walking pace, about 1 metre per second, and it has been at this speed since the 19th Century. In recent years it has slowed to 0.75 metres per second in the northern branch and 0.35 metres per second in the southern branch. The belt plunges some 200,000 km beneath the Sun’s surface and is observed as sunspot activity. Sunspots are magnetic knots that bubble up from the base of the conveyor belt, eventually popping through to the surface of the Sun. They are surface expressions of the twisting and untwisting of the magnetic field between the Sun’s zones of radiation and convection. Sunspots drift from mid latitudes to the equator. This is caused by the motion of the conveyor belt and this drift is caused by the speed of the conveyor belt. Because the belt controls sunspot activity, the speed of the belt foretells the intensity of sunspot activity some two decades into the future. A slow conveyor belt movement in the Sun means lower solar activity. The GOLF(Global Oscillation at Low Frequency) instrument on the SOHO (Solar and Heliospheric Observatory) is thought to have detected gravitational oscillations within the core of the Sun. If this is the case, then the Sun’s core rotates faster than its surface.517 The Solar System comprises the Sun and the orbiting 34 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009

bodies, of which the four major planets (Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune) are the most important. All bodies of the Solar System, including the Sun, orbit around the centre of mass of the Solar System. The distance between the Sun and the centre of the Solar System varies, which creates a gravitational wobble in the Sun’s orbit.518 The alternating grouping and dispersion of the four major planets occurs at regular intervals. The large outer planets (Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune) make sure that the Sun is not the centre of gravity of the Solar System and the Sun rotates around the centre of gravity of the Solar System about every 11.1 years.519,520 This spin-orbit coupling means that the solar plasma circulates every 11.1 years, producing an 11.1year solar cycle.521 At times, the Sun is up to 1 million kilometres from the centre of gravity and at other times it almost coincides with the centre of gravity. This leads to great variations in turbulence inside the Sun. It was not until we could make observations from outside the Earth’s atmosphere using satellites that we could measure that the Sun’s energy output varied. The variation is only by fractions of a per cent but the Sun is large and emits a huge amount of energy. These slight solar variations have a huge effect on the Earth. When the Sun’s position trails that of the centre of the Solar System, the Sun accelerates. This happens during the first rotation of the Solar System and has a duration of 11 years. The Sun continues rotating about the centre of mass of the Solar System but its galactic velocity decreases as it returns to the trailing position. This 22-year solar cycle (Hale Cycle) is then repeated. Both the acceleration and deceleration process result in an increase in sunspot numbers, while the intervening sunspot minima occur when the Sun is in the trailing and leading positions.522

SHOCK, HORROR. THE SOLAR CONSTANT IS NOT CONSTANT The solar constant, the energy coming from the Sun, is not a constant.523 Satellite measurements since 1979 and sunspot activity show that the solar constant is not constant. The IPCC claims that the variation in the solar constant is less than 0.1% and concludes that it has no impact on climate compared to the effect of CO2. This claim is misleading because the 0.1% variation does not refer to the complete difference between the maximum and minimum.524,525,526 If this is considered, the variation is 0.22%.527 Changes over long periods may be three to five times the measured variation. Furthermore, a very slight variation in any complex multicomponent system can have a profound effect. The seven-year solar constant variation of 0.22% equates to a surface temperature variation on Earth of 0.45ºC and, combined with the effects of urban warming of at least 0.1ºC, the total surface temperature effect is at least 0.55ºC. Any temperature increase at the Earth’s surface may be purely due to solar changes. Total solar irradiance reconstructions for the period 1900–1980528 and two different satellite composites (ACRIM and PMOD) that measured total solar irradiance529 can be used to show 20th Century climate histories. By these methods it was calculated that the Sun contributed to some 46–49% of global warming of the Earth530 and, considering that there are uncertainties of 20–30%, the Sun may have been responsible for as much as 60% of the 20th Century temperature increase. The climate modelling community has vastly underestimated the role of the Sun. The energy balance models they use produce estimates of solar-induced warming over this period that are two to ten times lower than was actually found.531,532 If we can measure slight variations in the solar constant from satellites, can the results of these very small variations be measured on Earth? The answer is a resounding yes. These variations have been traced back in time533,534 using the material dropped by icebergs on the bottom of the North Atlantic Ocean. Some of this material is from sample sites thousands of kilometres apart, suggesting that the cycles were global. The amount of material dropped increased every 1500 years as icebergs floated further south into the Atlantic Ocean during temporary cold periods. The irregular orbit of the Sun about the centre of mass of the Solar System is driven by the combined angular momentum of the giant outer planets. Thus, widely variable solar activity is the electromagnetic outcome of delays in the response to the Sun’s irregular orbit. The Sun’s most obvious magnetic features are sunspots. They are magnetic fields that rip through the Sun’s surface. A magnetically active Sun boosts the number of sunspots, indicating that vast amounts of energy are being released from deep in the Sun. Typically, sunspots flare up and settle down in cycles of 11.1 years. Over the last 50 years we have been living in a period of abnormally high solar activity. Sunspots die out about every 200 years as solar activity diminishes (DeVries-Suess Cycle). When the sunspot activity collapses, the Earth cools dramatically to a Grand Minimum, a phenomenon that has occurred many times over the last 10,000 years. Because of the lag between sunspot activity and the Sun’s great conveyor belt,535 most astronomers now predict the return of a quieter Sun.536 The decreased solar activity would result in increased cosmic radiation attacking the Earth, resulting in increased cloudiness. Low-level clouds reflect the Sun’s energy back into space, resulting in cooling of the Earth. There does not have to be a great change in the Sun’s output

of energy to have a profound effect on the Earth’s climate. If the Sun emitted only 1 to 1.5 watts per square metre less than now, we would be in conditions similar to a very cold period of the Little Ice Age (Maunder Minimum).537 Sunspots have already started to weaken,538 especially during Solar Cycle 23.539 At 27 September 2008, there had been 200 days without sunspots. Trends in solar activity are such that some astronomers are predicting that there will be a rapid decline in sunspot activity starting with Solar Cycle 24. If this trend continues, it is suggested that there could be another Maunder Minimum coincidental with reduced sunspot activity.540 Some astronomers are suggesting that the decreased sunspot activity will produce a cooler climate by 2030 AD.541 Others are predicting that Earth will have another very cold time rather like the Dalton (1795–1825 AD) or Maunder Minima (1645–1715 AD).542 These were times of low temperatures, increased precipitation and increased social conflict.543 Contrary to the popular belief that we humans are creating global warming, there is a scientific opinion from astronomers at the Pulkovo Observatory in Russia544,545 that the Earth will be facing a slow decrease in temperatures in 2012–2015. The gradually falling amounts of solar energy will be expected to reach their minimum level by 2040, inevitably leading to a deep freeze around 2055– 2060 AD. This is a view supported by other astronomers.546,547,548,549 BLEMISHES ON HER BEAUTY Sunspots have been known for more than 2000 years. The first recorded observations were in East Asia. Once telescopes became INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009 35

Times of high sunspot numbers are times of prosperity with excess grain and relatively low grain prices whereas times of low sunspot activity are times of crop failure and relatively high grain prices. 550

the tool of astronomers in the 17th Century, there was more intense observation of sunspots. In Danzig (now Gdansk) in 1647, Johannes Hevelius (1611–1687) plotted the movement of sunspots eastwards and towards the Sun’s equator. In 1801, the astronomer William Herschel (1738–1822) correlated the annual number of sunspots with the price of grain in London recorded in the 1776 work by Adam Smith, The Wealth of Nations. In many ways, this relationship between sunspots and grain yields still drives agriculture. British astronomers some 150 years ago published a well-documented linkage between sunspot activity and famine in India. In Cycles of Drought and Good Seasons in South Africa, published in 1889, D.E. Hutchins showed that in South Africa, there was a synchronous link between sunspot activity, temperature, rainfall and river flow. It was only in 1843 that the cyclical nature of sunspots was first measured by Heinrich Schwabe (1789–1875). There were speculations in the period 1843–1851 by Schwabe and Rudolf Wolf that the 11.1-year cycle of sunspots may be related to the orbital period of Jupiter (11.86 years). Sunspots, some 37,000 km in diameter, appear as dark spots within the outermost layer of the Sun. The outermost layer is about 400 km deep and provides most of the solar radiation. At the inner boundary of this layer, it is about 6000°C and on the outside it is about 4200°C.551 The temperature within sunspots is about 4600°C. There is a strong radial magnetic field within a sunspot and the direction of the magnetic field reverses in alternate years within the major sunspots in a group. Magnetic field lines emerge from one sunspot and enter another spot. There are more sunspots during periods of increased magnetic activity. When there is increased magnetic activity, more highly charged particles are 36 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009

emitted from the Sun’s surface, more UV energy is also emitted and the Sun is brighter. In years with a large number of sunspots, polar auroras on Earth are far more common and can extend to latitudes as low as 40°. There is a 25-month fluctuation of sunspots and, superimposed on the 11-year cycle (Schwabe Cycle) and 22.2-year cycle (Hale Cycle), are other solar cycles (33-year Bruckner Cycle; 87-year Gleissberg Cycle, 210-year DeVries-Suess Cycle and the 1500 ± 500 year Dansgaard-Oeschger cycle). The main cycles that have driven past climate change on Earth are the Schwabe, Hale, Gleissberg and Dansgaard-Oeschger cycles. There are no reasons to suppose anything different for the future. The length of the sunspot cycle is from 9.8 to 12.0 years with the maximum length of sunspot cycles occurring in 1770, 1845 and 1940. Sunspot Cycle 23 was short, 10.0 years rather than the average of 11.1 years. During times of high solar activity, such as 2000 AD, the Sun is about 0.07% brighter.552 Both Sunspot Cycles 22 and 23 had two peaks and in late 2006-early 2007, there was a sunspot minimum.553,554 This is consistent with a warmer than usual climate.555 Sunspot Cycle 24 is upon us, and now the Sun will be quieter, there will be fewer sunspots556 and we will be facing cooler times.557 There were a few sunspots in early 2008 with Sunspot Cycle 24 characteristics. By September 2008, there had been 200 consecutive spotless days. The last time there was a cluster of spotless months was in the early 1800s. This was a very cold period (Dalton Minimum). The cyclical variation in the length and number of sunspots is not unique to the Sun. There is an increasing body of information to show that the Sun and other stars spend about 25% of their time with no sunspots.

The sunspot cycle length is an inadequate measure of solar activity variability. It is the totality of solar activity that is important (i.e. irradiation, matter, electromagnetic and gravitational fields).558 The 11-year cycle varies in amplitude and length. The length of the solar cycle is probably a surrogate measure of irradiation. The Armagh Observatory in Northern Ireland has been keeping records since 1795. It is cooler whenever the Sun’s sunspot cycle is long and it is warmer whenever the Sun’s sunspot cycle is shorter.559,560 There has been steadily increasing geomagnetic activity in the Sun since the beginning of the 20th Century.561 The solar wind mediates the transfer of angular momentum from the Sun to the Earth, this creates a lag and varies the rate of the rotation of the Earth. The rate of rotation of the Earth is measured as the length of the day. Variation in solar activity creates a delay in the Earth’s rotation and this cycle in the Earth’s rotation rate in turn forces surface temperature variations in the order of 0.022°C for each millisecond change in the length of the day.562 The 22-year Hale solar magnetic cycle mirrors length of the day measurements. The length of the day is at a maximum (i.e. when the Earth rotates the slowest) in maximum positive solar polarity (i.e. close to a sunspot minimum between an even and odd numbered sunspot cycle) and the length of the day is at a minimum during maximum negative polarity.563 After cooling from 1940 to 1975, globally averaged temperature rose 0.3ºC in 1976. Sea surface temperature also rose. This reordering of the ocean and atmosphere heat balance coincided with a change in the rate of change of the length of the day.564 Temperature then started to increase and stopped increasing 22 years later in 1998. The correlation between solar activity and Northern Hemisphere land temperatures was an even better correlation if the length of the solar cycle is used to represent the Sun’s variability rather than the number of sunspots. There is a strong correlation with the global cooling that has occurred since the Medieval Warming (900–1300 AD) including the Maunder Minimum (1645–1715 AD) and the Dalton Minimum (1795–1825 AD). These periods of intense cooling during the Little Ice Age were when there were few sunspots or when sunspots disappeared altogether. Each 11-year solar cycle is numbered. Counting only started with a somewhat nondescript cycle that peaked in 1760 AD, and sunspot activity before 1760 can be deduced from measurements of C14 and Be10 in ice, mud, wood, stalactites and fossils. There was a slight cooling event within the Medieval Warming (Oort Minimum, 1040–1080 AD) and, in the Little Ice Age, there were further sunspot minima at 1450–1540 AD (Spörer Minimum) and 1280–1340 AD (Wolf Minimum). The coldest periods of the Little Ice Age (early 14th to late 19th Century) coincided with the Wolf, Spörer, Maunder and Dalton Minima. The Wolf Minimum heralded the end of the Medieval Warming and the beginning of the 600-year Little Ice Age. It took only 23 years to change from a warm climate to a cool climate. Furthermore, the correlation of sunspot numbers with Northern Hemisphere mean temperature since 1861 and the even better correlation with the length of the solar cycle and temperature shows that the Sun is fundamental for global temperature. This has been long known565 and, with increasing solar observation566,567 and studies on cosmic radiation, the Sun has now emerged as the major driver of climate changes568 such as the Medieval Warming, the Little Ice Age and the Late 20th Century Warming. The C14 measurements from 8000-year-old bristlecone pine trees show 18 sunspot minima over the last 7800 years.569 Sunspot minima and

the associated cold climate are the norm and not a feature just of the Little Ice Age. If variations in solar activity influence climate on Earth, then they also should influence climate elsewhere in the Solar System. They have. In 1998, the Hubble telescope showed that a moon of Neptune (Triton) had warmed since it was visited by the Explorer space probe in 1989.570 In 2002, it was shown that air pressure on Pluto had tripled in 14 years, indicating a 2ºC rise.571 Pluto’s atmosphere became denser.572 In 2003, NASA’s Odyssey mission reported that there was evidence of global warming on Mars and in 2005,573 NASA reported that the ice caps on Mars’ South Pole had diminished for three consecutive years.574 In 2006, the Hubble telescope showed a new red storm spot on Jupiter and a temperature rise of 1ºC.575 For hundreds of years, changes in Mars have been observed. The reflection of solar energy of Mars changes over decadal cycles and is unrelated to dust storms. Up to 53 million square kilometres of the Martian surface changes in brightness by 10% or more. It is not exactly known how these changes affect the environment on Mars. However, it appears that they bring about large-scale weather changes and recent climate changes.576 Mars has warmed by 0.65ºC between the 1970s and the 1990s, similar to the Earth’s rise of 0.7ºC over the last century. Mars, Triton, Pluto and Jupiter all show global warming.577,578 Climate changes on other planets and their moons show that climate change elsewhere in the Solar System could not possibly be due to human activity on Earth. There must be a driving force outside the Earth. It is the Sun. If this is the case, we should see evidence of global warming in planets that orbit stars outside our Solar System. And we do. Jupiter-sized planets outside our Solar System show warming of the atmosphere related to orbital changes and changes in the energy emitted by the parent star.579 This is exactly what we see on Earth. References [ footnote numbers match those in the book ] 458 Raes, F., Janssens, A. and van Dingenen, R. 1986: The role of ion-induced aerosol formation in the lower atmosphere. Journal of Aerosol Science 17: 466-470. 459 Ackermann, T. P. 1988: Aerosols in climate modelling. In: Aerosols and climate (eds Hobbs, P. V. and McCormick, M. P.). Deepack, 335-348.113 460 Yu, K. Kim, C. S., Adachi, M. and Okuyama, K. 2005: An experimental study of ion-induced nucleation using a drift tube ion mobility spectrometer/mass spectrometer and a cluster-differential mobility analyzer/Faraday cup electrometer. Journal of Aerosol Science 36: 1036-1049. 461 http://www.spacecenter.dk/publications/press-releases/getting-closer-to-the-cosmic -connection-to-climate 462 Svensmark, H., Pedersen, J. A. P., Marsh, N. D. and Enghoff, M. B. 2006: Experimental evidence for the role of ions in particle nucleation under atmospheric conditions. Proceedings of the Royal Society Journal A: Mathematical, Physical and Engineering Sciences 10: 1098. 463 Barlow, A. K. and Latham, J. 1983: A laboratory study of the scavenging of sub-micron aerosol by charged raindrops. Quarterly Journal of the Royal Meteorological Society 109: 763-770. 464 Knudsen, M. F. and Riisager, P. 2009: Is there a link between Earth’s magnetic field and low-latitude precipitation? Geology 37: 71-74. 465 Svensmark, H. and Friis-Christensen, E. 1997: Variation of cosmic ray flux and global cloud cover – a missing link in solar-climate relationships. Journal of Atmospheric and Solar-Terrestrial Physics 59: 1225-1232. 466 Anderson, R. Y. 1992: Possible connection between surface winds, solar activity and the Earth’s magnetic field. Nature 358: 51-53. 467 Dickinson, R. 1975: Solar variability and the lower atmosphere. Bulletin of the American Meteorological Society 56: 1240-1248. 468 Labitzke, K. and van Loon, H. 1993: Some recent studies of probable connections between solar and atmospheric variability. Annals of Geophysics 11: 1084-1094. 469 Ohring, G. and Clapp, P. F. 1980: The effect of changes in cloud amount on the net radiation INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009 37

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497 Manuel, O., Plees, M., Singh, Y. and Myers, W. A. 2005: Nuclear systematics: Part IV: Neutron-capture cross sections and solar abundance. Journal of Radioanalytical and Nuclear Chemistry 266: 159-163. 498 Manuel, O., Mozina, M. and Ratcliffe, H. 2005: On the cosmic nuclear cycle and the similarity of nuclei and stars. Journal of Fusion Energy 25: 107-114.117 499 Kuhn, J. R., Libbrecht, K. G. and Dickie, R. H. 1988: The surface temperature of the Sun and changes in the solar constant. Science 242: 908-911. 500 Scafetta, N. and West, B. J. 2003: Solar flare intermittency and the Earth’s temperature anomalies. Physical Review Letters 90: 248701-248705. 501 Ruzmaikin, A., Feynman, J. and Yung, Y. L. 2006: Is solar variability reflected in the Nile River? Journal of Geophysical Research 111: D21114, doi:10.1029/2006JD007462. 502 Scherer, K., Fichtner, H., Bormann, T., Beer, J., Desorgher, L., Flükiger, E., Fahr, H.-J., Ferreira, S. E. S., Langner, U. W., Potgieter, M. S., Heber, B., Masarik, J., Shaviv, N. and Veizer, J. 2007: Interstellar-terrestrial relations; Variable cosmic environments, the dynamic heliosphere and their imprints on terrestrial archives and climate. Space Science Reviews 127: 327-465. 503 Rozema, J., van Geel, B., Bjorn, I. O. , Lean, J. and Madronich, S. 2002: Paleoclimate: Toward solving the UV puzzle. Science 296: 1621-1622. 504 Tabazadeh, A., Drdla, K., Schoeberl, M. R., Hamill, P. and Toon, O. B. 2002: Arctic ‘ozone hole’ in a cold volcanic stratosphere. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences 99: 2609-2612. 505 Farman, J. C., Gardiner, B. G. and Shanklin, J. D. 1985: Large losses of total ozone in Antarctica reveal seasonal ClOx/NOx interaction. Nature 315: 207-210. 506 Goutail, F. , Pommereau, J.-P., Lefèvre, F., van Rozendael, M., Andersen, S. B., Kåstad Høiskar, B.-A., Dorokhov, V., Kyrö, E., Chipperfield, M. P. and Feng, W. 2005: Early un usual ozone loss during the Arctic winter 2002/2003 compared to other winters. Atmospheric Chemistry and Physics 5: 665-677. 507 Lomax, B. H., Fraser, W. T., Sephton, M. A., Callaghan, T. V., Self, S., Harfoot, M., Pyle, J. A., Wellman, C. H. and Beerling, D. J. 2008: Plant spore walls as a record of long-term changes in ultra-violet-B radiation. Nature Geoscience 1: 592-596. 508 Lohmann, G., Rimbu, N. and Dima, M. 2004: Climate signature of solar irradiance variations: analysis of long-term instrumental, historical and proxy data. International Journal of Climatology 24: 1045-1056.119 509 Krivova, N. A., Solanki, S. K. and Floyd, L. 2006: Reconstruction of solar UV irradiance in cycle 23. Astronomy and Astrophysics 452: 631-639. 510 Balachandran, N. K., Rind, D., Lonergan, P. and Shindell, D. T. 1999: Effects of solar cycle variability on the lower stratosphere and troposphere. Journal of Geophysical Research 104: 27,321-27,339. 511 Larsen, S. H. 2005: Solar variability, dimethyl sulphide, clouds and climate. Global Biogeochemical Cycles 19: GB1014,doi:10.1029/2004GB002333. 512 Krivova, N. A., Solanki, S. K. and Flotd, L. 2006: Reconstruction of solar UV irradiance in cycle 23. Astronomy and Astrophysics 452: 631-639. 513 Grandpierre, A. and Agoston, G. 2005: On the onset of thermal metastabilities in the solar core. Astrophysics and Space Science 298: 537-552. 514 Gough, D. O. and MacIntyre, M. E. 1998: Inevitability of a magnetic field in the Sun’s interior. Nature 394: 755-757. 515 Friedland, A. and Gruzinov, A. 2004: Bounds on the magnetic fields in the radiative zone of the Sun. Astrophysics Journal 601: 570. 516 Manual, O., Kamat, S. A. and Mozina, M. 2007: The Sun is a plasma diffuser that sorts atoms by mass. Astrophysics 654: 650-664. 517 http://www.alphagalileo.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=readrelease&releaseaid-520213 518 Juckett, D. A. 2003: Solar activity cycles, north/south asymmetries, and differential rotation associated with spin-orbit variations. Solar Physics 191: 201-206.121 519 de Jager, C. and Versteegh, G. J. M. 2005: Do planetary motions drive solar variability. Solar Physics 229: 175-179. 520 Wilson, I. R. G., Carter, B. D. and Waite, I. A. 2008: Does a spin-orbit coupling between the Sun and the Jovian planets govern the solar cycle? Publications of the Astronomical Society of Australia 25: 85-93. 521 Shirley, H. 2006: Axial rotation, orbital revolution and solar spin-orbit coupling. Monograph Note of the Royal Astronomical Society 368: 280-282. 522 Javaraih, J., Bertello, L. and Ulrich, R. K. 2005: Long-term variations in solar differential rotation and sunspot activity. Solar Physics 232: 25-40.

523 Kuhn, J. R., Libbrecht, K. G. and Dickie, R. H. 1988: The surface temperature of the Sun and changes in the solar constant. Science 242: 908-911. 524 Fröhlich, C. 1995: Variations in total solar irradiance. In Solar output and climate during the Holocene. (ed. B. Frenzel). Gustav Fischer Verlag, 125-127. 525 Hansen, J. E., Lacis, A. A. and Ruedy, R. A. 1990: Comparison of solar and other influences on long-term climate. In: Climate impact of solar variability (eds Schatten, K. H. and Arking, A.). NASA, 142. 526 Hoyt, D. V. and Schatten, K. H. 1997: The role of the sun in climate change. Oxford University Press. 527 Satellite measurements show that the solar constant is 1367 W/m2 and 0.22% of this energy is 3 W/m2. The solar constant is the amount of energy that reaches the edge of the Earth’s atmosphere. Some 30% of this energy is reflected and the irradiated area of the Earth’s surface is one quarter of this surface. Hence there is only 239 W/m2 available to heat the atmosphere. Consequently the variation of 3 W/m2 has only a climate effect of 0.53 W/m2. How this affects global temperature depends on which global circulation computer model is used to calculate climate sensitivity. The mean of the range of 0.3 to 1.4ºC/W/m2 is 0.85ºC/W/m2 which yields a temperature effect of 0.45ºC. 528 Lean, J., Beer, J. and Bradley, R. 1995: Reconstruction of solar irradiance since 1610: implications for climate change. Geophysical Research Letters 22: 3195-3198. 529 Wilson, R. C. and Mordvinov, A. V. 2003: Secular total solar irradiance trend during solar cycles 21-23. Geophysical Research Letters 30: 10.1029/2002GL016038. 530 Scarfetta, N. and West, B. J. 2006: Phenomenological solar contribution to the 1900-2000 global surface warming. Geophysical Research Letters 33: 10.1029/2005GL025539. 531 Pap, J. M. and Fox, P. 2004: Solar variability and its effects on climate. Geophysical Monograph Series Volume 141. 532 Stevens, M. J. and North, G. R. 1996: Detection of climate response to the solar cycle. Journal of Atmospheric Sciences 53: 2594-2609.123 533 Bond, G., Kromer, B., Beer, J., Muscheler, R., Evans, M. N., Showers, W., Hoffmann, S., Lotti-Bond, R., Hajdas, I. and Bonani, G. 2001: Persistent solar influence on North Atlantic climate during the Holocene. Science 294: 2130-2136. 534 Kerr, R. 2001: A variable Sun paces millennial climate. Science 294: 1431-1433. 535 Temmer, M., Veronig, A. and Hansimeier, A. 2003: Does solar flare activity lag behind sunspot activity? Solar Physics 215: 111-126. 536 Dikpati, M., De Toma, G., Gilman, P. A., Argue, C. N. and White, O. R. 2004: Diagnostics of polar field reversal in solar cycle 23 using a flux transport dynamo model. Astrophysics Journal 601: 1136-1151. 537 Tapping, K. F., Boteler, D., Crouch, A., Charbonneau, P., Manson, A. and Paquette, H., 2006: Modelling solar magnetic flux and irradiance during and since the Maunder Minimum. Solar Physics 246: 309-326. 538 Livingston, W. 2004: Sunspots observed to physically weaken in 2000-2001. Solar Physics 207: 41-45. 539 Penn, M. J. and Livingston, W. 2006: Temporal changes in sunspot umbral magnetic fields and temperatures. The Astrophysical Journal 649: L45-L48, doi: 10.1086/508345. 540 Schatten, K. H. and Tobiska, W. K. 2003: Solar activity heading for a Maunder Minimum. Abstract, 24th Solar Physics Division Meeting, Laurel, MD. 541 De Jager, C. 2005: Solar forcing of climate 1: Solar variability. Space Science Reviews 120: 197-241. 542 Landscheidt, T. 2003: New Little Ice Age instead of global warming? Energy and Environment 14: 327-350. 543 Ruzmaikin, A. 2007: Effect of solar variability on the Earth’s climate patterns. Advances in Space Research: doi:10.1016/j.asr.2007.01.076125 544 Abdussamatov, H. I. 2005: On long-term variations of the total irradiance and on probable changes in temperature in the Sun’s core. Kinematics and Physics of Celestial Bodies 21: 471477 (In Russian). 545 Abdussamatov, H. I. 2006: On long-term variations of the total irradiance and decrease of global temperature of the Earth after a maximum of XXIV cycle of activity and irradiance. Bulletin of Crimea Observatory 103: 122-127 (In Russian). 546 Lin, Z-S and Xian, S. 2007: Multi-scale analysis of global temperature changes and trend of a drop in temperature in the next 20 years. Meteorology and Atmospheric Physics 95: 115-121. 547 Nagovitsyn, Y. A. 2001: Solar activity during the last two millennia: Solar patrol in ancient

and medieval China. Geomagnetism and Aeronomy 41: 680-688. 548 Hathaway, D. H. and Wilson, R. M. 2004: What the sunspot record tells us about space climate. Solar Physics 224: 5-19. 549 Svalgaard, L., Cliver, E. W. and Kamide, Y. 2005: Sunspot cycle 24: Smallest cycle in 100 years? Geophysical Research Letters 32: L01104, doi:1010.1029/2004GL021664. 550 Berner, U. and Streif, H. 2001: Klimafakten. Der Rückblick – Ein Schlüssel für die Zukunft. E. Schweizerbart’sche Verlagsbuchhandlung. 551 Kuhn, J. R., Libbrecht, K. G. and Dickie, R. H. 1988: The surface temperature of the Sun and changes in the solar constant. Science 242: 908-911.127 552 Scafetta, N. and West, B. J. 2006: Phenomenological solar signature in 400 years of reconstructed Northern Hemisphere temperature record. Geophysical Research Letters 33: L17718, doi:10.1029/2006GL027142. 553 Atac, T. and Ozgus, A. 2006: Overview of the solar activity during cycle 23. Solar Physics 233: 139-153. 554 Ishov, V. N. 2005: Properties of the current 23rd solar-activity cycle. Solar System Research 39: 453-461. 555 Friis-Christensen, E. and Lassen, K. 1991: Length of the solar cycle – an indicator of solar activity closely associated with climate. Science 254: 5032, 698-700. 556 Clilverd, M. A., Clarke, E., Ulrich, T., Rishbeth, H. and Jarvis, M. J. 2007: Predicting Solar Cycle 24 and beyond. Space Weather 4: S09005, doi.10.1029/2005SW000207. 557 Svalgaard, L., Cliver, E. W. and Kamide, Y 2005: Sunspot cycle 24: Smallest cycle in 100 years? Geophysical Research Letters 32: L01104, doi:10.1029/2004GL021664. 558 Hoyt, D. V. 1979: Variations in sunspot structure and climate. Climate Change 2: 79-92. 559 Wilson, R. M. 1997: Evidence of solar-cycle forcing and similar variables in the Armagh Observatory temperature record 1844-1999. Journal of Geophysical Research 103: D19, 11. 560 Palle, B. E. and Butler, C. J. 2001: Sunshine records from Ireland, cloud factors and their link to solar activity and cosmic rays. International Journal of Climate 21: 709-729. 561 Georgieva, K. and Kirov, B. 2007: Long term changes in solar meridional circulation as the cause for the long-term changes in the correlation between solar and geomagnetic activity. Annales Geophysicae arXiv:physics/0703187v1. 562 Duhau, S. 2006: Solar activity, Earth’s rotation rate and climate variations in the secular and semi-secular time scales. Physics and Chemistry of the Earth 31: 99-108. 563 Georgieva, K. J. 2006: Solar dynamics and solar-terrestrial influences. In: Space science: New research (ed. Maravell, N.) Nova Science Pub. Inc. 564 Plimer, I. R. 2001: A short history of planet Earth. ABC Books.129 565 Eddy, J. A. 1981: Climate and the role of the Sun. In: Climate and history (eds Rotberg I. and Rabb, T. K.). Princeton University Press. 566 Willson, R. C. 1997: Total solar irradiance trend during solar cycles 21 and 22. Science 277: 1963-1965. 567 Friis-Christensen, E. and Lassen, K. 1991: Length of the solar cycle, an indication of solar activity closely associated with climate. Science 254: 698-700. 568 Lane, L. J., Nichols, M. H. and Osborn, H. B. 1994: Time series analysis of global change data. Environmental Pollution 83: 63-68. 569 Sonnet, C. P. and Suess, H. E. 1984: Correlation of bristlecone pine ring widths with atmospheric 14C variations: a climate-Sun relation. Nature 307: 141-143. 570 MIT News Office, 24th June 1998. 571 Global warming on Pluto puzzles scientists, www.space.com, 9th October 2002. 572 ABC News, 26th July 2006. 573 NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory, Pasadena, http://mars.jpl.nasa.gov/odyssey/newsroon, 8th December 2003 574 National Geographic News, 27th February 2007. 575 USA Today, 4th May 2006. 576 Fenton, L. K., Geissler, P. E. and Haberle, R. M. 2007: Global warming and climate forcing by recent albedo changes on Mars. Nature 446: 646-649. 577 Marcus, P. S. 2004: Prediction of global climate change on Jupiter. Nature 428: 828-831. 578 Hathaway, D. H. and Wilson, R. M. 2004: What the sunspot record tells us about space climate. Solar Physics 224: 5-19. 579 Laughlin, G., Deming, D., Langton, J., Kasen, D., Vogt, S., Butler, P., Rivera, E. and Meschiari, S. 2009: Rapid heating of the atmosphere of an extrasolar planet. Nature 457: doi 10.1038/ nature07649. n INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009 39

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THE BABY MAKERS What’s behind the new baby boom? Western countries are facing a harsh reality: low birth rates mean fewer workers in the future capable of defending the nation or generating income and taxes for its health and welfare systems. PETER CURSON discovers migrants are bringing their high birthrates with them

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hat does our future hold? What population trends will dominate the next 40 years and how might they impact on New Zealand and Australia? Well, for much of the last decade concern has centred on falling birth rates, ageing populations and even population decline in the developed world, with parts of Asia and Latin America not far behind. Whatever happens to birth rates over the next few years, it seems certain that much of Europe, the US, New Zealand, Australia and many parts of Asia will continue to turn grey as populations continue to age. While changes in birth rates may slow the process of ageing, New Zealand and Australia are still looking at having at least 23% of their population aged over 65 by 2050. Increased life expectancy is a great success story, but can New Zealand and Australia continue to afford current age-related working policies and entitlements for their old? In addition, there seems little doubt that there will be fewer workers to support the increased numbers of old people. Another trend which will impact on most developed countries including New Zealand and Australia is that much of the developing world is on the move, and such movement is reconfiguring the world in which we live and transforming the homogeneous nature of many states. Of the world’s I billion migrants, 740 million moved within their own country, usually to towns and cities, while last year more than 80 million people left their homelands in search of a new life in Europe, the US, Australia or perhaps even New Zealand, and there is no sign of this movement faltering. Finally, the world’s population is still growing and may well reach 9.6 billion by 2050 by which time there may well be more than 34 million people in Australia. Should we be concerned? Is population control the way to go? These are important issues for our future. Whatever we think, population growth now seems firmly back on the global agenda, and it is rampant population growth, not decline which is once more capturing the headlines. It almost seems as if we have stepped back 30 years and once again talk is of unbridled population growth threatening world resources, of population threatening food security, to which we have now added the links between population and climate change. It is if the Malthus genie has been released from the bottle where we consigned it 25 years ago. Come back Paul Erlich! Who said history doesn’t repeat itself? Only recently the Financial Times ran an editorial headed ‘Malthus redux’ in which it argued for population control to be placed back on the international political agenda and that the only solution to a world facing an additional 2-3 billion inhabitants over the next 30 or so years, is family planning and controls over fertility. More than this, population has also become ‘securitised’, with talk of uncontrolled fertility throughout parts of the developing world leading to crowds of unruly youths, civil unrest and instability, and rampant and unsustainable growth. The message here is that if we want stable and responsible political, social and economic societies, then lower fertility, smaller families and mature aged populations is the way to go. Sound familiar? There is more than just a hint of deja vu and ethnocentrism here. The Western experience is the demographic model that ultimately produces a civil, stable society and we have a responsibility to insist that the rest of the world takes notice and follows suit. But do we have the right to impose our values on other societies, particularly in light of the way birth control programs were often ‘forced’ on developing societies 30 year ago, and is it true that our efforts to fight 42 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009

climate change and global food security will be stymied if we do not address the ‘population problem’ first? Some continue to argue that declining birth rates across the developing world allied to developed nations addressing over-consumption, will diffuse any ‘population bomb’ and indeed, something dramatic appears to have happened to birth rates in many parts of the world. Defying predictions of demographic doom marked by falling fertility, rapidly ageing populations and declining population growth, people in a number of developed countries are beginning to have more babies and population growth is picking up. In parts of Europe, the USA, Australia and New Zealand, fertility rates have increased by between 10 and 27% over the last 6-7 years and a number of countries look like registering solid population growth over the next few decades. Even Japan, which has consistently displayed one of the lowest birth rates in the world over the last decade, is showing some signs of a slight reprise. This, however, pales by comparison with Russia, long seen as the demographic basket case of Europe, which has shown an increase of 27% in fertility rates since 2001, The UK with an increase of 22%, New Zealand with 16% and Australia 14% are closely following suit.

In parts of Europe, the USA, Australia and New Zealand, fertility rates have increased by between 10 and 27% over the last 6-7 years and a number of countries look like registering solid population growth over the next few decades

To be sure, some countries continue to lag well behind, and in Germany, Italy and parts of Eastern Europe, for example, fertility remains at very low levels. But who would have foreseen such a turnaround, particularly when talk over the last ten years has been dominated by concern over falling birth rates, rapid ageing and static or declining populations? But what has produced such an upturn in fertility and will it be maintained? Well, first it must be said that fertility throughout the developed world still remains below 2.1 children per woman or what is known as replacement level. Only a handful of developed countries currently exceed this level, including Israel (2.93), Iceland (2.14), and New Zealand (2.18). Australia lags a little behind at 1.98 but is closing on replacement level and if current trends continue may well achieve this with a year or two. For the rest, it is just a matter of trying to recapture some of the fertility levels that have been lost over the last three decades. But what has caused this baby-boom? Well, the UK provides a good answer. In the last 6 years the number of babies has climbed from a low of 668,772 in 2002 to 794,383 in 2008, and for the first time in 10 years, the birth rate played a bigger role in determining population growth than did net migration. But undoubtedly the

most important factor has been the role of immigration. There has been a substantial increase in the number of women of childbearing age and most have come from the Indian sub-continent, Africa and Eastern Europe. Polish immigrants sum up the situation. In 2005 there were 3,403 births to Polish mothers in the UK. Last year there were 16,101. Australia and New Zealand have participated in the immigrant feast. In Australia net immigration in the year ended 31 March was 278,000 a substantial increase on previous years and like the UK experience it has played its part in pushing up Australia’s birth rate. In many ways we stand at a demographic crossroads. One way points to declining fertility diffusing our fears of growing hordes, but producing in its place new issues of rapid ageing and population decline. Another points in the direction of a resurgence in birth rates allied to the persistence of high fertility throughout Africa and parts of Asia, producing the food and water shortages that Erlich was so concerned about. Which way we head remains to be seen. Peter Curson is Professor of Population & Security in the Centre for International Security at the University of Sydney, and Emeritus Professor of Macquarie University. n

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The End Of

Income

TAX A tax lawyer’s plan to replace PAYE

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BRUCE GRIERSON spent 50 years in the legal profession, much of it engaged in tax-advising and rather weary litigation. He believes that present and past attempts at drafting tax-reform have been too narrowly briefed. He served under four Income Tax Acts of increasing complexity, with many more intermediate amendments. He notes that the best legal brains have drafted the current tax legislation to be readable “in plain language,” but he doesn’t note businesspeople reading the Act over their lunches! Even their expert advisers still give conflicting opinions. He explains that the graduated income-tax as we know it is hardly a century old. He poses three questions to which his answers are No, Yes and No. They are: Was the graduated income tax system a good one? Is there a new and better total alternative? Is that new and total alternative entirely unprecedented? What are your answers to those three questions? Now read on.... INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009 45

he first income-tax was repealed in 1815. (So there) The Brits were better then than in the 20th century at repealing emergency taxes when the emergency was over. That incometax on higher incomes was more a tax on investment-incomes, but on its repeal the Edinburgh Tribune commented; “We are glad to see the end of that tax, because it causes a loss.” Sadly, with monstrous wartime emergencies in the 20th century exaggerating the then-revived income-tax rates of tax, that pertinent comment about a tax “causing a loss” has been overlooked by Finance Ministers and Tax Review Panels. Rather than “review” a loss-causing tax-system, a thinking government should replace it. It would help to have more ordinary business and professional people on those Tax Review Panels, say a plumber, a doctor, a farmer, a builder, a taxi driver etc. These are the general-public folk who had no difficulty in understanding my proposed solution after ½ an hour addresses and a question-time. Our “tax-experts” naturally begin with what systems we already have in their “reviews” and how to increase, if possible, the tax-take. That aspect – increasing the take – is increasingly important now. Our Government admits it must borrow heavily for years. From whom? Well, the multinational-operating banks of course, who else? And where did this so-called recession begin? The history of the graduated income-tax has murky but inescapable undertones (and overtones) of Marxist socialism, combined with lobbying of Western governments by the extremely wealthy – the Morgans, Rothchilds, Vanderbilts etc. Those very wealthy groups didn’t want their capital-gains from changing investments taxed; instead the national revenues should be filled by an income-only tax. They succeeded in that political aim in the early 20th century – but then the Great World War hiked the necessary income-tax rates to well over 50% for that emergency. Then a slump, then another World War, then massive inflation – the sorry tale goes on – so perhaps high income-tax could have been anticipated long ago, before the graduated income tax was ever adopted. In, say, a brief top-level dialogue in ancient Rome... ROME AD67 The Emperor, Nero, is not fiddling, though Rome is hot. It is cool in the palace, but Nero is brooding on the financial problems of Empire, Legions of soldiers at home and abroad. Ever-growing public-service wages, roads and aqueducts (think infrastructure) etc, etc. Then in strides his Chief Finance Minister Claudius, a sharp handsome man with English features – Claudius: “Salutations Sire – I have solved it!” Nero: “Solved what? My peeled-grape shortage?” Claudius: (laughing respectfully) “No Sire, I’ve solved the Empire’s financial shortages. We’ll have a new tax, not on heads, or casks of wine, but on businesses!” Nero: “On businesses? That’s a new one Claudius! How will it work?” Claudius: (breathes deeply) “Well, we will make them add up all their sales in a year, then also add up all their business-expenses for that year, then subtract the expenditures-total from the salestotal, then we’ll make them pay a percentage of that balance as tax.” Nero: “Great Jupiter! We’ll have a plague of accountants! What will we call this new tax?” Claudius: “Um – an income-tax?” Nero: “More a profit-tax isn’t it?” 46 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009

Claudius: “Well, perhaps – but we’ll also make wage and salary-earners pay it on their incomes.” Nero: (reeling slightly) “Hm! Sounds a bit complicated. What if a business makes no profit? There’d be no tax to collect?” Claudius: “I’ve thought of that. We’ll allow that business to carry forward its loss and subtract it from a later profitable year – we don’t want to pay-out on losses!” Nero: (thinking): “Sounds a bit like a chariot race to me! We – the State – win on the winners?” Claudius: (proudly) “But we don’t pay-out on the losers eh?” Nero: “Claudius, have you been drinking? Wouldn’t any reasonably smart operator inflate his business-expenses to reduce his profit – and thus his tax?” Claudius: “Oh, we’ll limit all that in our laws!” Nero: “We will? Seems to me there are many different sorts of businesses to draft these new laws for! We’ll have a plague of lawyers too!” Claudius: (stoutly) “Oh, our lawyers will outwit their lawyers!” Nero: (blackly) “Them versus us eh? You know Claudius, Empires – or large parts of Empires – can be lost through stupid taxes! We can’t afford all our legions now! We couldn’t afford to put-down a rebellion, especially an armed rebellion, caused by bad taxes.” Claudius: “I haven’t told you a good feature yet. We will make the rate of income-tax higher for the ‘fat cats.’ The higher -income or profit, earners will pay a higher rate than the low.” Nero: “You will? In my experience, the ‘fat cats’ – and many of the ‘thin cats’ – would take their businesses overseas away out of our law’s reach. You can’t expect capable business-owners to put up with losing a large slice of their profits to the State lying down! They’ll be off and away, to some more sensibly-taxed country as well as doctoring all their expenditures. Anyway, will we allow them to deduct this new tax in their profit calculations?” Claudius: “Um, no Sire.” Nero: “What? The tax isn’t to be deductible? That’s making the tax a dead-loss to the business! A loss of capital! Even I appreciate that all businesses must have money –‘working capital’ – to keep going. You’re planning to impose a whopping non- deductible fine on the profits – if there are profits – of every business! That could ruin many businesses, when they can’t afford the tax. Or drive them into the hands of the moneylenders.” Claudius: “Well there are moneylenders available.” Nero: “Yes. Making their percentages on other peoples’ money. Don’t expect them to allow us to slice-off a large percentage of their percentages! They’ll hire the best lawyers to avoid that! Your ‘income-tax’ is an obvious working-capital dead-loss to them! If only it would get some tax out of them, I’d throw all moneylenders to the lions! Yet your system will drive all profitable businesses into capital-shortage and force their owners to resort to the moneylenders! Won’t it?” Claudius: “Well we’ve got to get more revenue somehow!” Nero: “We’re agreed on that – but not on the method. And Claudius, aren’t those healthy businesses the Key? If our tax-system damages the businesses, causing some to fail, then there’s no profit-tax – or wages-tax – or even any jobs, to that extent. Go back to the drawing board and come up with something suitable and less damaging to businesses.” Claudius: (stubbornly angry) “Well Sire, any system causes some cost to the taxpayer.” Nero: “That’s obvious, but why must it be a capital-loss?” (Claudius starts to leave, jaw set)

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Nero: “And by the way Claudius, the consuls expect trouble in Gaul and Britannicus – revolts – what rate of your profitsnatching tax do you expect to impose? 10%? 20%? 30%? What if we have more necessary State expenditures? Would you go over a 50% tax-rate?” Claudius: “Um I’d hope not. I’d go to the international moneylenders first.” Nero: “Those artful dodgers? They’re all overseas and do their lending in foreign coins! Watch your step!” (exit Claudius) (We will return later to Nero)

y late father Max (1900-1994) was a multi-talented lawyer who headed our growing legal firm, and never retired. At about 90 he told me he had come across his copy of his 1938 tax-return. He was surprised to find, he said, that in 1938 his income-tax had been 5% of his income. And that his “main tax” had been the Social Security Tax (1/6d in the pound, 7.5%). A total of 2/6d, or 12.5%. We were both surprised at that. For the best part of his workinglife, and for nearly all of mine, we had endured a top-rate of 60 cents in the dollar, starting at 66 cents. After the notorious “Black Budget” of 1958, when PAYE (Pay As You Earn) became the requirement for the actual tax-paying, for every extra $1,000 that we or many other professionals earned, the tax on that extra income was, in current funding-requirement terms, therefore 2 x $600, i.e. $1,200. (final + provisional tax) The obvious consequence of this government-imposed requirement was that we and all top-rate professional hard-workers were going backwards by increasing our incomes! Those who weren’t suffering this grim realisation would exclaim; “Oh no, it can’t be as bad as that!” – but they couldn’t prove their assertion. We were literally fiscal galleyslaves, pulling the oars for the slowing Ship-of-State and all its passengers. It was a highly skilled lower deck of “oarsmen” – doctors, engineers, architects, dentists, accountants, surgeons, lawyers – all the professions, plus capable small to medium business-owners of very many sorts. They often consulted me, to ask how they could be going backwards on their balance-sheets, though showing good and increasing profits on their profit-and-loss accounts. Their common problem was loss of liquidity caused by the income-tax (not GST, when it arrived particularly). Some of those galley-slaves escaped of course – overseas, to less onerous tax-regimes. Even to some total tax havens. Others joined the “pirates” – defined as the schemes of the taxavoidance practitioners. Certainly the tax-avoidance promoters became “fat cats” – they had a “captives market!” (Though many of their clients became very “thin cats” when the schemes imploded, and (e.g.) doctors found they weren’t good film-makers or farmers etc after-all, let alone bloodstock breeders).

The trick of course was to turn the capital-loss caused by the tax into an expenditure. A loss is very different from a businessexpenditure. (That difference was obvious to the Scotsman in 1815 who rejoiced over the repeal of the income-tax after Waterloo). The key to tax-reduction was to have another business into which the profits from one’s regular business were invested as that second business’ expenditure. The results were often disastrous – but what else could those galley-slaves do, to even keep level, let alone not go backwards? It’s better to take a risk than to face a certain capital-loss. (Well – some risks anyway). The New Zealand politicians who have several times held “taxreform conferences” starting (belatedly) with the Ross Committee back in 1968, have responded pathetically to the cries (screams) of those experts seeking tax-reductions for our whole economy. Responding like limp ropes, or wet rags. And – to the extent of taking any notice at all – the politicians’ responses have come far too late. By the time someone thought to ask the IRD what proportion of the National Revenue came from the top-rate taxpayers, compared with the middle and lower rates, the top-rate contribution hardly coloured the very bottom of that rate’s bar-graph column. The main columns were the middle and lower rates, the

“We were literally fiscal galley-slaves, pulling the oars for the slowing Ship-of-State and all its passengers. It was a highly skilled lower deck of “oarsmen” – doctors, engineers, architects, dentists, accountants, surgeons, lawyers – all the professions, plus capable small to medium business-owners of very many sorts. They often consulted me, to ask how they could be going backwards on their balance-sheets, though showing good and increasing profits on their profit-and-loss accounts”

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top-rate column of contribution to the Revenue was negligible. The top-rate was dropped to 33% by (now) Sir William Birch, but next-to-nothing was then given away to those paying the 60c top-rate because hardly anyone paid it! Sideline tax-saving businesses were almost the norm. Plus, for some, simply working less or going away. I used to make the firm’s overdraft arrangement. As I made my annual trek to the Bank carrying the new firm’s accounts to last March, there were three simple facts. First, we had (just) repaid last year’s arrangement. Good. Second, that proved we had been even more profitable than the year before, and had lived (existed) within our after-tax incomes, though little seemed to come home. Good. Third, the only reason for requiring even more Bank accommodation this current year was the 60 cent income-tax rate, needing much more borrowing than the increased profit. Bad. One year, the Economic Despot steering the NZ-Ship-of-State ordained a “credit squeeze” in which Banks were told “not to lend

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for tax.” We all just laughed. If that edict by a man with a name like Dull Moon had been obeyed, our firm (or anyone else like us) would not have kept going! (He didn’t repeat that edict). After decades of that sort of tax-caused insanity it is no wonder that my father and I wondered at the tax-percentages reflected in his 1938 tax-return. A total of only 2/6 in the pound? 12.5%! Wow! Sic transit gloria, for the upper middle class, after World War 2, we reflected (we knew a little Latin). BACK TO ROME Nero is having a restless night. He paces the palace atrium, glad to be free from goblet-pushing servants. He reflects that the day before, on his inspection of the Royal Galley, he perhaps should not have gone back below to see the long lines of muscular rowers. Many of them looked quite intelligent, probably political prisoners with a Greek university degree, their stony faces had come back to disturb his sleep. “Why?” he exclaims. “Shouldn’t they be paying me for their privileges on my Royal Yacht? I am supposed to be a Cruel Despot. Why should their rowing-nowhere trouble me?” Under the dull moon his thoughts return to his perennial problem – raising enough money for the National Revenue. Thinking again of Claudius, he passes a mirror and pokes his tongue out at his image (he is somewhat of an actor). Remembering Claudius’ idea of grabbing a large slice of business-profits as a tax – and all the laws and paperwork that that would entail – makes him feel slightly ill. Plagues of accountants and lawyers and (necessarily) tax inspectors! Ugh! “So” he asks himself soberly, “what’s the answer? What’s the Key? Claudius is right in one way. Without prospering businesses though, there’s no jobs, no profit,-tax – zilch!” He shudders to imagine how the “fat-cats” – and “all cats” – would contrive to evade the losses of Claudius’ system, instead of resolutely increasing their profits and their servants’ incomes, bringing rapid prosperity into all marketplaces. Why shouldn’t all businesses prosper and cheerfully pay their taxes as they go along? Is that only a pipe-dream? (Nero is unsure of the derivation of “pipe-dream” but he won’t let the expression put him off). Mentally, he casts his eye over Claudius’ various figures. In the top right corner of the page is the total of all sales in a businessyear. Then, down the left side, a (no doubt long) list of businesscosts – wages, rent, rates, repairs, cartage, etc. That is totalled, then that total is subtracted from the sales-total. Then the balance, as profit, gets taxed, and.... Even under a dull moon the solution is obvious. The biggest figure gives the lowest tax-rate. And it doesn’t require all the subtraction – sums – (and endless disputes over them)....time to see Claudius again.... Claudius, short of sleep himself, finds the Emperor in a relatively benign mood in the morning. Nero: “I’ve been thinking Claudius, about taxes. You may have the start of a good idea.” Claudius: (cautiously brightening). “Yes, Sire?” Nero: “Why don’t we simply put a low-rate tax on the first of your totals – the sales-total?” Claudius: (more cautiously) “Um yes, by Jove, but... Nero: “Don’t invoke the Gods man! Tax-systems are what men make them!” Claudius: “Indeed, Sire. But you forget the differential.” Nero: “The what? What’s the differential?” 50 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009

Claudius: “Well, the higher incomes should pay a higher rate

of tax.”

Nero: “Why? If they’re higher, they’ll pay more anyway at the standard rate, whatever it is?” Claudius: “Well – yes Sire, but there’s the ‘jealousy principle’ too. You see, our Senate and our various officers are voted into their jobs by the public.” Nero: “Yes – but what’s this ‘jealousy principle’?” Claudius: “Well it’s arithmetical Sire.” Nero: “Whose arithmetic? Pythagoras?” Claudius: (overlooking the error). “No Sire, it’s like this. For every higher-income citizen there are 4 or 5 more citizens who can’t – or won’t – equal that higher-citizens’ income ever. They’re all voters!” Nero: “So what?” Claudius: “Well Sire, if a politician gives a higher-income citizen a break – a help – it will make 4 or 5 more other voters jealous, see?” Nero: “I half see. So the politician risks losing more votes, and could find himself back on the farm if he gives a better-off – or potentially better-off citizen a perceived ‘break’. Am I getting it?” Claudius: “Yes Sire, quite quickly.” Nero: “Let’s examine that idea Claudius. I doubt if, say, Pythagoras ever invented that principle!” Claudius: (humbly) “No, he didn’t Sire. But the ‘jealously principle’ matters to all voted-in politicians.” Nero: “Really? I would call it the ‘Fear of Jealousy Principle.’” Claudius: “Perhaps you’re right Sire. So you see...” Nero: “I do see. But don’t we have statesmen who are above the FJP –‘Fear of Jealousy Principle?’” Claudius: “Um – well maybe, but they’re rare, Sire.” Nero: “Probably. If all they’re worried about is keeping their seats, instead of running the country wisely! Anyway, how jealous is the ordinary-citizen? Has that been studied?” Claudius: “No Sire – but no-one admits he’s jealous!” Nero: “Oh. I see a problem in such a study. But I see greater problems by far in that profit-causing-a-loss tax-system you were proposing! You know, that Greek Philosopher – who was it? Plato? He didn’t think much of democracy and all that voting as the wisest way to govern a country.” (Suddenly the stony faces of his galley-rowers come back to Nero, then he is sorry, not for them, but for Claudius having to raise all that revenue). “Claudius, do you have any children?” Claudius: (surprised) “Why yes Sire. Quite a few actually.” Nero: “Well – would you be jealous of them if they did better than you?” Claudius: “Why – no Sire. But why...?” Nero: “Well, instead of jealousy, think of opportunity.” Claudius: “Opportunity? Why?” Nero: “Well, should we invent a discouraging tax-system?” Claudius: “Discouraging?” Nero: “Yes. Why penalize anyone for improving his profit?” Claudius: “Oh, I see ... No, we shouldn’t do that.” Nero: “Well, go away and think about my simple tax-system. Put a much lower tax on the sales, and don’t tax the profits at all. Forget about jealousy, or we’ll become a mediocre State. Will you?” Claudius: “Alright – but...” Nero: “No ‘buts’ Claudius. Think about it, then do it.” Claudius: (departing). “I’ll think about it.” As Claudius goes, his handsome English jaw set, Nero doubts that he will think hard enough... NEXT MONTH: How a new tax system could work

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The

JESUS MYTH Is Christianity’s central story borrowed from older legends?

Each year, as part of the liberal war on Christmas, magazines and newspapers attempt to debunk the Christ story. Now, in this extract from his book The Divinity Code, IAN WISHART skewers popular but incorrect myths about the baby in the manger INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009 53

any newspaper headlines have been captured by stories proclaiming that scholars have found Christianity is really based on much older myths. We all know that Christmas, for example, was once the pagan Winter Solstice feast, and that Easter borrows much of its rebirth symbolism from Eostre, an Anglo-Saxon/ Germanic goddess of spring. The Catholic monk Bede, writing around 700AD, noted that the Anglo-Saxon inhabitants of England named the month of April, “Eostre”. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that a Christian feast celebrating Christ’s resurrection (which is always tied to the Jewish Passover and is usually in April) will be called “Easter” by illiterate peasants because that is the month it falls in. Additionally, the Church found the theme of death and resurrection easy to overlay across the top of the ancient spring goddess festival. Does that mean that Christianity is based on older myths, or simply that it overtook them? The evidence will show it overtook them. There’s a “documentary” doing the rounds on YouTube at the moment called Zeitgeist, which purports to show how essential parts of the Christian story are borrowed from more ancient beliefs. How factual is it? Not very. It claims, for example, that a Roman god named Attis was crucified, lay dead for three days, and then resurrected. It claims that the deity Mithras, originally a Persian god, died for three days and was then resurrected. It claims Christianity borrowed its resurrection story from these and other pagan gods like Osiris of Egypt. Well, first of all, let’s test the historical evidence. What is the earliest physical documentation we have describing a resurrected pagan god? “The first real parallel of a dying and rising god does not appear until AD 150, more than 100 years after the origin of Christianity,” writes New Testament scholar Norman Geisler. In other words, standing on the sidelines watching Christianity spread like wildfire, pagan priests figured they needed a “me too!” story to match it and maintain their market share. “If there was any influence of one over the other,” continues Geisler, “it was the influence of the historical event of the New Testament on mythology, not the reverse. “The only known account of a god surviving death that predates Christianity is the Egyptian cult god Osiris. In this myth, Osiris is cut into fourteen pieces, scattered around Egypt, then reassembled and brought back to life by the goddess Isis. However, Osiris does not actually come back to physical life but becomes a member of a shadowy underworld.” And of course, no one claims to have seen the wispy ghost of Osiris, whereas there were up to 500 sightings of the resurrected Christ, some of whom had a meal and prayed with him. As British professor C. S. Lewis – who specialised in Greek and Roman mythology – has pointed out, the Greek and Roman accounts are clearly mythical, storytelling literature. By contrast, the writings in regard to Christ pin the details to an actual historical figure and are not written in mythic form but in a journalistic style. So essentially, no parallel to the Christian story prior to Christ. What about Attis and Mithras, then? “Zeitgeist states that Attis (a Roman deity) was crucified, dead for three days and then resurrected,” says Charlie Campbell, a theologian at Calvary Chapel Vista in Southern California. “This is absolutely not true to the mythological account. In the mythological story, Attis was unfaithful to his goddess lover, and in a 54 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009

jealous rage she made him insane. In that insanity, Attis castrated himself and fled into the forest, where he bled to death. “As J. Gresham Machen points out, ‘The myth contains no account of a resurrection; all that Cybele [the Great Mother goddess] is able to obtain is that the body of Attis should be preserved, that his hair should continue to grow, and that his little finger should move.’ Zeitgeist’s claims that Attis was crucified and resurrected are not only inaccurate but very misleading. And that is just the tip of the iceberg. The alleged resurrection of Attis isn’t even mentioned until after 150 A.D., long after the time of Jesus.” We’re left essentially with Mithras, then, as the great hope of those trying to claim that the Christ story was borrowed from more ancient religions. “Zeitgeist claims that Mithras, a mythological Persian deity, was dead for three days and then resurrected. I am no scholar on ancient Mithraism,” concedes Campbell, “but nowhere in any of the reading I’ve done on the topic has Mithras’ death even been discussed, let alone Zeitgeist’s story about three days in a grave and a resurrection. Edwin Yamauchi, a historian and author of the 578 page Persia and the Bible concurs. He says, ‘We don’t know anything about the death of Mithras’.”160 Nor is there any reference in the Persian Mithraism to sacrificing a bull and being ‘baptised’ in its shed blood – the one common feature to all of Roman Mithraism. This has led to growing speculation that the two religions are totally separate, and that the Romans merely borrowed the name of Mithras to lend their new religion an air of Eastern intrigue. No archaeological artifact of Roman Mithraism has been dated earlier than around 150 AD.161 In other words, it is almost a certainty that Mithraism pirated key doctrines from Christianity, like this one: “Et nos servasti eternali (sic) sanguine fuso, ‘And us thou has saved by shedding the eternal blood’.”162 Remember: Mithraism in the Roman Empire came long after Christianity, but they don’t tell you that on the internet websites or books by some atheist fundamentalists. Biblical scholar Dr Ronald Nash sums it all up:163 “Which mystery gods actually experienced a resurrection from the dead? Certainly no early texts refer to any resurrection of Attis. Attempts to link the worship of Adonis to a resurrection are equally weak. Nor is the case for a resurrection of Osiris any stronger. After Isis gathered together the pieces of Osiris’s dismembered body, he became “Lord of the Underworld.”....And of course no claim can be made that Mithras was a dying and rising god. French scholar Andre Boulanger concludes: ‘The conception that the god dies and is resurrected in order to lead his faithful to eternal life is represented in no Hellenistic [Greek empire] mystery religion’.” What about the virgin birth? John Shelby Spong authoritatively states (but without sourcing it) that “Virgin births were a familiar tool in the ancient world to explain the extraordinary qualities of a leader”. Zeitgeist suggests the Greek god Dionysus had a virgin birth, and Christianity stole the motif. But University of Miami history professor Edwin Yamauchi disagrees: “There’s no evidence of a virgin birth for Dionysus. As the story goes, Zeus, disguised as a human, fell in love with the princess Semele, the daughter of Cadmus, and she became pregnant. Hera, who was Zeus’s queen, arranged to have her burned to a crisp, but Zeus rescued the fetus and sewed him into his own thigh until Dionysus was born. So this is not a virgin birth in any sense.”164 Author Lee Strobel discounts the Mithras virgin birth165 accounts as well, given that Mithras is recorded as leaping fully formed out of a rock.

“Unless the rock is considered a virgin, this parallel with Jesus evaporates.” There is a fascinating sidedebate flaming all over the internet in regard to a claim by author Acharya S that an Iranian temple at Kangavar carries an inscription, allegedly from 200 BC, dedicating the temple to “Anahita, Immaculate Virgin Mother of Lord Mithras”, which seems a little too convenient. No-one has so far stumped up with photos of this alleged inscription, and online Wikipedia notes “there is no historical evidence”. This is probably because every other reference has Anahita and Mithras as colleagues, rather than mother and son. Cybersleuths have tracked the phrase to a 1993 essay by a student without sources. Thanks to Acharya’s books the phrase is now widely quoted on atheist sites as “proof ” of a virgin birth for Mithras. A check of archaeological references has so far failed to locate anything remotely like this inscription however,166 and a Zoroastrian archaeological site offers pictures online of what is left of the Temple of Anahita, saying the inscription dedicates it to the goddess as “guardian angel of the waters”.167 Extensive research by an Ancient Iranian Studies centre on the Anahita cult fails to make the link that Acharya S does, either.168 Even if it were true, however, several problems emerge. Firstly, the Isaian prophecies that the Saviour of the World would be born of a virgin through the Jewish line pre-date the Anahita temple by between 200 and 500 years. In other words, the concept of a Jewish Messiah to save the planet came hundreds of years before the Persian temple. Secondly, the Jews were captives in Babylon and heavily involved with the Medo-Persian conquerors of Babylon. Given the existing biblical references, it is highly conceivable that highly popular aspects of the Jewish religion such as the coming Messiah struck a chord with the Zoroastrians who adapted the Isaian and Danielic prophecies to the local scene. Thirdly, this would explain why any suggestion of Mithras being virgin-born, if indeed it genuinely exists, arose very late in the Persian myths. We know Mithras had been worshipped from around 1400 BC, but traditionally he was rock-born and we have no evidence of any virgin claims for him until this alleged temple reference that Acharya S dates to around 200 BC. Having reviewed the evidence, I think we can safely confine the Mithras “virgin birth” myth to the dustbin of history. Zeitgeist offers up the Hindu deity Krishna169 as “born of a virgin”. Yamauchi, again, shoots it down: “That’s not accurate. Krishna was born to a mother who already had seven previous sons, as even his followers concede.” In an online essay,170 Ronald Nash sums up the main reasons why the public can safely ignore claims that Christianity was just another mystery religion. On the death of Christ compared with other alleged savior gods, he writes: “The best way to evaluate the alleged dependence of early

Christian beliefs about Christ’s death and resurrection on the pagan myths of a dying and rising savior-god is to examine carefully the supposed parallels. The death of Jesus differs from the deaths of the pagan gods in at least six ways: (1) None of the so-called saviour-gods died for someone else. The notion of the Son of God dying in place of His creatures is unique to Christianity.171 (2) Only Jesus died for sin. As Gunter Wagner observes,172 to none of the pagan gods “has the intention of helping men been attributed. The sort of death that they died is quite different (hunting accident, selfemasculation, etc.).” (3) Jesus died once and for all (Heb. 7:27; 9:25-28; 10:10-14). In contrast, the mystery gods were vegetation deities whose repeated deaths and resuscitations depict the annual cycle of nature. (4) Jesus’ death was an actual event in history. The death of the mystery god appears in a mythical drama with no historical ties; its continued rehearsal celebrates the recurring death and rebirth of nature. The incontestable fact that the early church believed that its proclamation of Jesus’ death and resurrection was grounded in an actual historical event makes absurd any attempt to derive this belief from the mythical, nonhistorical stories of the pagan cults.173 (5) Unlike the mystery gods, Jesus died voluntarily. Nothing like this appears even implicitly in the mysteries. (6) And finally, Jesus’ death was not a defeat but a triumph. Christianity stands entirely apart from the pagan mysteries in that its report of Jesus’ death is a message of triumph. Even as Jesus was experiencing the pain and humiliation of the cross, He was the victor. The New Testament’s mood of exultation contrasts sharply with that of the mystery religions, whose followers wept and mourned for the terrible fate that overtook their gods.174” On the question of rebirth, he says: “Liberal writings on the subject are full of sweeping generalizations to the effect that early Christianity borrowed its notion of rebirth from the pagan mysteries.175 But the evidence makes it clear that there was no pre-Christian doctrine of rebirth for the Christians to borrow. There are actually very few references to the notion of rebirth in the evidence that has survived, and even these INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009 55

are either very late or very ambiguous.” Wrapping it up, Nash takes a pot-shot at the dodgy scholarship abounding on the internet and in popular bestselling books: “Liberal efforts to undermine the uniqueness of the Christian revelation via claims of a pagan religious influence collapse quickly once a full account of the information is available. It is clear that the liberal arguments exhibit astoundingly bad scholarship. Indeed, this conclusion may be too generous. According to one writer, a more accurate account of these bad arguments would describe them as ‘prejudiced irresponsibility’.” One of the biggest ironies however, is that sacred Hindu scriptures supposedly originating 5,100 years ago mention Christian Bible stories. In his book, Divine Harmony, Christ in the Holy Books of the East, Arvindaksha Menon translates the various stories that pop up in an ancient Hindu veda: “Adaman [Adam] and his wife Havyavathy [Eve] are born with all the virtues, complete control of the senses and the spiritual forbearance of the mind. God creates a captivating paradise and gifts it to Adaman to live happily. Adaman reaches beneath the tree of sin in the garden, eats its forbidden fruit, tempted by Kali disguised as a snake, resulting his carnal desires come alive, which culminates in his involving in sexual intercourse with Havyavathy,” says Menon. “The Bible narrates the same episode word by word in the book of Genesis.”176

mostly from a “biography” in the style of a modern romantic fiction novel, written by Philostratus. The author recounts how Apollonius wandered the face of the earth during the first century, working miracles and raising people from the dead. Sounds like a familiar story, and again there’s a catch: the story of Apollonius was not written until 200 AD, a hundred years after his death and 170 years after the death of Jesus. It seems Empress Julia, wife of Rome’s Emperor Septimius Severus, was researching in preparation for her own ordination as a High Priestess in Roman polytheism, and wanted to use the Apollonius stories against the increasing strength of Christianity. Scholar Jane Lightfoot speculates Philostratus may have woven a double-edged sword into the story, aimed at Rome itself as well as the Christians: “At one point, Apollonius is brought to trial before the Emperor Domitian [note: 81-96 AD], suspicious of a man who claims to be a god. Apollonius takes an option apparently unavailable to Christ in a similar position before Pontius Pilate: confounding his captors he simply vanishes into thin air. Pagan biography has here become fantastic wish-fulfillment – an assertion of unanswerable superiority before tyrannical Rome on the one hand, and the galloping blight of Christianity on the other.”178 Given that the story was written two centuries after Christ, it is useless to suggest that Christianity borrowed its themes from Apollonius.

“The incontestable fact that the early church believed that its proclamation of Jesus’ death and resurrection was grounded in an actual historical event makes absurd any attempt to derive this belief from the mythical, nonhistorical stories of the pagan cults” A little later, Menon paraphrases another portion of the veda: “Then it was predicted that a master (Patriarch) will come by the name of Moosa (Moses) and his faith will spread all over the world. When the era of Kali has reached three thousand years (This is the 5095th year of that era, so it is two thousand years ago) Jesus Christ appears with the name “Easa Maseeha” [Jesus Messiah] in the land of Huna [Judah]. Here we should remember that Jesus Christ is ‘Easa Maseeha’ in Hebrews. At that time it was King ‘Shakapathi’ who ruled that land. In the mountainous terrain of Hunadesha the King’s meeting with a white clad male is described thus: King Shaka asked ‘May I know, who you are!’. With apparent joy that male replied, ‘Know that I am the Son of God. I am born in the womb of a virgin. ‘Easa Maseeha’ is my well known name’.”177 On the basis of the ancient and venerated Hindu scrolls, are we to assume that Hinduism knew 3000 years BC about Jesus Christ? Or is it more likely that because the surviving Hindu scriptures date from hundreds of years after Christianity, that even mighty Hinduism was borrowing the Christian story and making it its own? But it’s not just pagan gods that Christianity was falsely accused of borrowing its religion from. So too in regard to alleged pagan miracle workers. One of these was reportedly Apollonius of Tyana, who died about 98AD in Ephesus, Greece. Very little is known of Apollonius, 56 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009

Interestingly, the Wikipedia entry on Apollonius notes a reference to him as “a wandering ascetic/philosopher/wonderworker of a type common [my emphasis] to the eastern part of the early empire.” This is another frequent misconception raised about Christ – that he was just one of hordes of itinerant miracle workers stalking the highways and ditches of the Middle East. In actual fact, it is not true.179 “It is in this light that we must judge the accounts we possess of other miracle-workers in Jesus’ period and culture,” writes theologian A E Harvey. “We have already observed that the list of such occurrences is very much shorter than is often supposed. If we take the period of four hundred years stretching from two hundred years before to two hundred years after the birth of Christ, the number of miracles recorded which are remotely comparable with those of Jesus is astonishingly small. “On the pagan side, there is little to report apart from the records of cures at healing shrines, which were certainly quite frequent, but are a rather different phenomenon from cures performed by an individual healer. Indeed it is significant that later Christian fathers, when seeking miracle workers with whom to compare or contrast Jesus, had to have recourse to remote and by now almost legendary figures of the past such as Pythagoras or Empedocles.”180 The Christian miracles – divine, instant healings, raising people from the dead – these were things that the public had never

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seen before, not even in sophisticated Greece. Proof of this can be found in the Book of Acts, 14:8-18, where the Greeks react to the instant healing of a crippled local identity by presuming the Christians to be incarnations of no less a god than Zeus: “In Lystra there was a man sitting who could not use his feet and had never walked, for he had been crippled from birth. 9 He listened to Paul as he was speaking. And Paul, looking at him intently and seeing that he had faith to be healed, 10 said in a loud voice, “Stand upright on your feet.” And the man sprang up and began to walk. “11 When the crowds saw what Paul had done, they shouted in the Lycaonian language, “The gods have come down to us in human form!” 12 Barnabas they called Zeus, and Paul they called Hermes, because he was the chief speaker. 13 The priest of Zeus, whose temple was just outside the city, brought oxen and garlands to the gates; he and the crowds wanted to offer sacrifice. “14 When the apostles Barnabas and Paul heard of it, they tore their clothes and rushed out into the crowd, shouting, 15 “Friends, why are you doing this? We are mortals just like you, and we bring you good news, that you should turn from these worthless things to the living God, who made the heaven and the earth and the sea and all that is in them. 16 In past generations he allowed all the

gets ‘rehabilitated’ as a wonderworker (although it doesn’t actually look like it was intended to be a factual account). And these Jewish messianic claimants all start offering ‘a sign’ as proof of their messianic status… “These post-Jesus messianic claimants are pre-Destruction (70 AD) and therefore are of the generation that witnessed Jesus’ many miracles. Why wouldn’t they be open to the miraculous after that Larger-than-Life Love? As we noted earlier, there is a high probability (argued by Theissen and others) that the miracle stories of Jesus – widely and early circulated and argued by Christians with pagans – created a ‘miraculous expectation’ that led to an increase in ‘actual credulity’ of Late Antiquity. “Exorcism, as a category, is not represented at all in the preChristian accounts (note: seven exorcisms are ascribed to Jesus in the gospels),” says Miller.182 Scholar John Meier, in his book A Marginal Jew – Rethinking The Historical Jesus, makes the telling point that it’s still very hard to find any performed miracles, post-Christ, either: “It cannot be stressed too much that when Josephus polemicizes against ‘false prophets’ and ‘charlatans’ like Theudas (Antiquities 20.5.1 §97-98) or the unnamed Egyptian (Ant. 20.8.6 § 160-70; cf. Jewish Wars 2.13.5 §261-62), he presents them as promising the

“Christ was making a unique claim: that he alone was God incarnate, God made flesh, who came to earth to warn all humans of an approaching Armageddon and a choice of faith they would have to make, each of them, before they died. As proof of his claim to be God, Christ performed miracles. As you’ve seen, no other alleged “miracle worker” in history comes close to what Christ did” nations to follow their own ways; 17 yet he has not left himself without a witness in doing good – giving you rains from heaven and fruitful seasons, and filling you with food and your hearts with joy.” 18 Even with these words, they scarcely restrained the crowds from offering sacrifice to them.” If the world had been full of genuine miracle workers, the Greeks would not have been so stunned by what they saw. It was a natural reaction to assume the power came from God. Glenn Miller of Christian Think-Tank – the counterbalance to Infidels on the web, makes the point181 that archaeologists and historians know of no miracle-working itinerants in Palestine leading up to the time of Christ: “When we discussed several of the alleged parallels to Jesus, we noted that the period immediately before Jesus was devoid of any major or patterned miracle claims. None of the Messianic claimants of the pre-Jesus period made claims to miracles. There are no literary ‘heroes’ of the immediate period doing wonderful works. All the supernatural events of the period are basically oracular/ prophetic. We noted that Theissen had called this one of the most skeptical periods in Ancient History. “However, as soon as the gospel stories of Jesus get circulated – then miracles by others start popping up all over! Apollonius 58 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009

people signs of deliverance. Shortly before the final storming of Jerusalem a ‘false prophet’ promises ‘signs of deliverance’ and persuades many desperate Jews to flee to the temple (J. W. 6.5.2 §285). Josephus likewise speaks in more general terms of ‘deceivers’, who enticed people into rebellion by promising them that if they followed them into the wilderness, there God would show them ‘the signs of deliverance’ (J W. 2.13.4 §259; cf. Ant. 20.8.6 §167-68). In A.D. 73 a weaver called Jonathan persuaded the Jews of Cyrene to follow him into the wilderness, so that there he could show them ‘signs and apparitions’ (J.W. 7.9.1 §437-42). All of these popular leaders, whatever their precise agenda, are sometimes referred to by scholars as ‘sign prophets’. In one sense that is correct, since they all promise ‘signs’ or the equivalent thereof. But the phrase ‘sign prophets’ can easily lead the unwary reader astray. Josephus never says that any of these ‘deceivers’ actually performed miracles. Strictly speaking, they do not belong under the rubric of ‘miracleworker’...Thus, Jesus of Nazareth stands out as a relative exception in The Antiquities in that he is a named figure in 1st-century Jewish Palestine to whom Josephus is willing to attribute a number of miraculous deeds (Ant. 18.3.3 §63).”183 In his Christian Think-Tank essay,184 Glenn Miller cites this appraisal from Werner Kahl:

“In fact, the two characteristics (being an immanent bearer of numinous power and having more than one healing miracle story attributed to it) are shared only by Jesus in the gospels and Apollonius in Philostratus’ Vita. Since Philostratus’ Vita dates from around 220 C.E., it is evident that the description of Jesus in the gospels is distinct from the other extant contemporary traditions of the first century C.E. insofar as the BNP’s [Bearers of Numinous Power] of those stores are transcendent [already in heaven, saint-like] figures. Indeed, we know of only one other case in the entire miracle story tradition of antiquity before Philostratus’ Vita Apollonii of an immanent bearer of numinous power, and then only in a singular version of his miracle, Melampous according to Diodorus of Sicily.”185 So, in other words, when Richard Carrier at the atheist website Infidels says “Miracles were…a dime a dozen in this era,” you know he’s either got his facts wrong or he simply can’t count. Especially when you consider that not one charismatic miracle-worker – not one – appears anywhere in recorded history in the 250 years leading up to Christ.186 Sure, after Christ, they are indeed “a dime a dozen” (or at least they claim to be, albeit no miracles were actually performed). But not before. And that is the important bit. Christ was making a unique claim: that he alone was God incarnate, God made flesh, who came to earth to warn all humans of an approaching Armageddon and a choice of faith they would have to make, each of them, before they died. As proof of his claim to be God, Christ performed miracles. As you’ve seen, no other alleged “miracle worker” in history comes close to what Christ did. Even John Dominic Crossan, a liberal scholar of Jesus Seminar fame, admits that Christ performed “plurally attested miracles”: “Jesus was both an exorcist and a healer…I take…A Leper Cured…and…Blind Man Healed as not only typically but actually historical.”187 The significance of Christ’s actions in healing people like this may be lost on us today, but British New Testament scholar Tom Wright says it wasn’t lost on the Jewish authorities of Christ’s time:188 “The evidence from Qumran suggests that, in some Jewish circles at least, a maimed Jew could not be a full member of the community.189 In addition to the physical burden of being blind, or lame, or deaf, or dumb, such a Jew was blemished, and unable to be a full Israelite. How far this was taken in Jesus’ day it is difficult to assess. But we know that at least in Qumran it was a very serious matter. “This means that Jesus’ healing miracles must be seen clearly as bestowing the gift of shalom, wholeness, to those who lacked it, bringing not only physical health but renewed membership in the people of YHWH. “The effect of these cures, therefore, was not merely to bring physical healing; not merely to give humans, within a far less individualistic society than our modern western one, a renewed sense of community membership; but to reconstitute those healed as members of the people of Israel’s God. In other words, these healings, at the deepest level of understanding on the part of Jesus and his contemporaries, would be seen as part of his total ministry, specifically, part of that open welcome that went with the inauguration of the kingdom – and consequently part of his sub-

versive work, which was likely to get him into trouble.” And if it was trouble Christ was looking for, it was coming in spades. References [ footnote numbers match those in the book ] 160 The Case for the Real Jesus, Lee Strobel, Zondervan, p 172 161 http://www.frontline-apologetics.com/ mithras.htm 162 The Cults of the Roman Empire, Robert Turcan, p. 226 163 The Gospel and the Greeks: Did the New Testament Borrow from Pagan Thought?, Ron Nash, p. 161-162 164 The Case for the Real Jesus, Lee Strobel, Zondervan, p. 180 165 http://www.tektonics.org/copycat/mithra.html 166 http://www.derafsh-kaviyani.com/english/anahita.html 167 http://www.vohuman.org/SlideShow/Anahita%20Kangavar/ Anahita-00.htm 168 http://www.cais-soas.com/CAIS/Religions/iranian/anahita.htm 169 Even more embarrassing for those who make these claims, the Hindu scriptures are written so recently that stories of Jesus Christ’s crucifixion are embedded in them 170 http://www.iclnet.org/pub/resources/text/cri/cri-jrnl/web/ crj0169a.html 171 The Son of God, Martin Hengel, Fortress Press, 1976, p. 26 172 Pauline Baptism and the Pagan Mysteries, Gunter Wagner, Edinburgh: Oliver and Boyd, 1967, 260ff 173 Ortheus and Greek Religion, W. K. C. Guthrie, 2d ed. (London: Methuen, 1952), 268 174 A. D. Nock, “Early Gentile Christianity and Its Hellenistic Background,” in Essays on the Trinity and the Incarnation, ed. A. E. J. Rawlinson (London: Longmans, Green, 1928), 106 175 The Gospel and the Greeks, Ronald Nash (Richardson, TX: Probe Books, 1992, pp. 173-178 176 http://www.answering-islam.org/Mna/hindu.html 177 Bhavashya purana- Prathisarga parva, IIIrd part- 2nd chapter- 23rd verse. http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Olympus/6265/chap4.html 178 Literature in the Greek and Roman Worlds: A New Perspective. Oliver Taplin (ed).Oxford:2000 179 http://www.christian-thinktank.com/mqfx.html 18 0 Jesus and the Constraints of History: Bampton Lectures 1980, A. E. Harvey, Duckworth:1982, p 103 181 http://www.christian-thinktank.com/mqfx.html 182 http://www.christian-thinktank.com/mq6.html 183 A Marginal Jew – Rethinking the Historical Jesus, John P. Meier, Doubleday: 1991, 592 184 http://www.christian-thinktank.com/mq6.html 185 Wehner Kahl, New Testament Miracle Stories in the ReligiousHistorical Setting: A Religionsgeschichliche Comparison from a Structural Perspective, Gottingen: Vandenhoeck & Ruprecht, 1994 186 http://www.christian-thinktank.com/mq6.html 187 The Historical Jesus, John Dominic Crossan, Harper Collins, 1992, p. 332 188 Jesus and the Victory of God, N T Wright, Fortress Press, 1996, p. 192 189 1QSa 2.3-11 (Vermes 1995 [1962], 121 n INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009 59

think life | money

An unseemly fight for the spoils Peter Hensley’s morality tale Lorna stumbled and fell into the rose bush. Unseen hands appeared and guided her frail body into the lounge, wiping the blood from her scratched knees. She had mistakenly placed the eye patch over her right eye, when it was normally on her left. The rush to get ready had confused her and so it was understandable that she took a fall. It was a pity the rose bush was so close to the path. The wedding of her eldest son was due to start shortly and she was keen to be seated in her allocated position before the ceremony commenced. A pair of calming and gifted hands deftly dressed her wounds and directed her back to the garden in time for the service. It was Ken’s second marriage and she approved of the union. Jan 60 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009

was a sensible woman with a grown family. Even if she did come from out of town, maybe she could provide some basic common sense to go along with the strength and enthusiasm her son had for life. Lynton (Lorna’s younger son) and his new girlfriend were present, Kristy (her middle child) was unable to make the long journey. The trip did not fit into the tight family budget and so a modest gift had been couriered to mark the happy occasion. That was twelve months ago. Lorna’s health had deteriorated so much that it was obvious that she could not manage on her own. The soiled sheets and weight loss were physical signs that could not be ignored. At age 83 she had managed extremely well to date. Widowed at 51, she had been on her

own for over 30 years. Ken and Jan took her to visit those facilities that had rooms and spaces available. None were suitable. They wanted something close to where they lived so that they could visit regularly. After several open discussions, Lorna moved into her eldest son’s home and his new wife took on extra responsibilities that had not been outlined in the marriage vows, exchanged scarcely twelve months previously. Because Jan and Ken lived busy lives it took almost six months to arrange for Lorna’s house to be cleared, cleaned and placed on the market. A basic brick three bedroom colonial home, close to the shopping centre with a detached single garage took all of two weeks to sell. Priced to the market, it fetched just over $400,000 after costs. Once the funds were cleared Ken arranged for the proceeds to be added to Lorna’s cheque account, not giving it a lot of thought. Ken, having looked after his mothers affairs for several years knew that this amount would push her investment portfolio value to $1.8 m, further proof that she was both canny and frugal in her ways. Unbeknown to Jan and Ken this was a major factor in her not being able to finding a suitable nursing home, she bluntly refused to pay the fees being asked. Lynton, Ken’s younger brother had not inherited his mother’s gift of spending less than he earned. He had made big promises to his first wife and now she was desperately waiting for him to settle their property agreement. She thought that there must be more, they had enjoyed the good life and his explanation that the “bank owns it all” did not wash with her. She was determined to dig till she found the pot of gold he always talked about. Lynton on the other hand knew that his ex wife’s mission was futile. He did however come up with a plan to strike it rich, only this time instead of the bank’s money, he wanted to use his mothers’. He needed $250,000 to buy some land which he hope could be subdivided, resulting in a large profit for the developer. He knew that mum had some money “tucked away” but was unsure of its true value. He also knew that the family home had been sold and he thought it was only proper that because mum did not need the money that he should be allowed to use it. He was furious that Ken had signing authority over mum’s affairs because he thought that Ken would get “first option” on the money in the account. He requested and organised a family meeting to discuss the matter. The idea of a family meeting distressed

Lorna immensely. She knew what it was going to be about and was disappointed with Lynton. Ken was upset that his brother thought that he would dip into mum’s account and Kristy could not see what it was all about. Ken also thought that Lynton should not have committed to the land deal without having the proper finance in place. Lorna arranged for her solicitor, Dennis, to be present as a mediator. He was the youngest member of the practice however was wise beyond his years. Lorna like his perceptive abilities, she only had to nod at the right time, make a comment and Dennis was able to engineer the outcome she desired. She objected to his fees, but appreciated his superior talent and ability. The family meeting was as predictable as the seasons. Lynton voiced his objections to Ken having power of attorney over their mother’s financial affairs, and asked that it be granted to himself. Kristy supported Lynton as they had always been close. Lynton also spoke as if Lorna was absent and it took Ken to bring him back to reality by saying: “Hang on, mum’s not dead yet!” After a short time, Lorna addressed the assembled gathering. Choosing her words

carefully, she emphasised her love for each of her three children. She spoke with the authority and wisdom that comes to one aged four score years. Dennis listened attentively as it would be his task to convert Lorna’s intentions into legal words and documents that would stand in any court. Lorna had been the perfect mother, accepting each of her offspring as equals. She had nurtured their talents, and ignored their failings. Ken, successful in business had unselfishly accepted her into his home. Kristy was average, living an average life and by the grace of God, would continue to live an average life. Lynton always wanted to be someone else and always overspent. He could never quite comprehend that a common trait of the rich was that they always spent less than they earned. This behaviour characteristic had been documented since the early days of Babylon, however because Lynton chose to ignore this simple fact, he would never be rich. Lorna knew this, however because he was her son, was prepared to support him on yet another venture. Lynton received almost 50% of the house proceeds with the proviso that interest repayments would be delayed for three years and any unpaid amount at the time

of Lorna’s death would be deducted from his share of any legacy. At Lorna’s request there was to be no change to her power of attorney. Foreseeing future sibling rivalry she asked Dennis to be sole trustee of her estate instead of Ken. This would increase the solicitor’s fees against the estate. This was done without Ken’s knowledge. At the time Ken detested the fact that they had to have the family meeting at all. He was not to know that it provided an excellent opportunity for Lorna to revise and update her affairs. At the same time Dennis was taking instructions to draw up an appropriate contract for Lynton to sign, Lorna also gave him instructions to alter her last will and testament taking into account that Ken and his new wife had unselfishly taken her into their home and looked after her. Instead of a third he would receive half the estate, leaving his brother and sister equal share in the remaining half. Dennis’s wry smile was followed by a wink and a nudge, secure that in this case at least, not only was justice being done, it was being seen to be done. He liked a happy ending. © Peter J Hensley November 2009. A copy of Peter Hensley’s disclosure statement is available on request and is free of charge.

EVE’S BITE

THE DIVINITY CODE

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Wishart takes up the gauntlet laid down by Richard Dawkins in The God Delusion, and in fact, uses Dawkins own logic and methodology to launch a counter-attack against unbelief. Challenging…thought provoking…compelling – keepingstock.blogspot.com

Discover the truth for yourself. Get these two books today from Whitcoulls, Borders, PaperPlus, Dymocks, Take Note, and all good independent booksellers, or online at

I’m having a cracking good read of another cracking good read – The Divinity Code by Ian Wishart, his follow-up book to Eve’s Bite which was also a cracking good read – comment on “Being Frank”

www.evesbite.com INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009 61

think life | EDUCATION

The education politburo’s child abuse Amy Brooke calls for an end to social engineering in the classroom

First, let’s call them children, not kids. Give them their due dignity. They’re not a different subspecies, but our own little ones. Whether used casually, affectionately or disparagingly, the term “kids” diminishes the unique, special human beings our education system aims to control by group thinking, group planning – an essential abuse of their individuality and dignity. The recognition that slang and over-familiarity breeds contempt is as important in referring in an off-hand way to children as acknowledging we’ve become an overcasual society which sees people expected to divulge personal details – such as their age – to every Tom Dick and Harry… one which has hospital staff calling in waiting rooms, “Next, Dave…? Or, Tracy O’Neill...? instead of Mr Smith...? or Mrs O’Neill? But then, despite all the propagandizing of the education bureaucracy, the individual needs of a child are not the prime purpose of the state. As the great American satirist H.L. Mencken wrote, the aim of public education is not “to fill the young of the species with knowledge and awaken their intelligence…Nothing could be fur62 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009

ther from the truth. The aim is simply to reduce to as many individuals as possible to the same safe level, to breed and train a standardized citizenry, to put down dissent and originality.” Hence the dumbing-down of schools’ curricula. We still have teachers of enthusiasm and integrity working to open new horizons for their young charges. But the majority – essentially mediocre, even when wellmeaning – are themselves the product of two generations of grossly under-educated New Zealanders ritually endorsing whatever “new directions” the education theocracy manipulated them into following. What the brilliant writer Melanie Phillips describes as “the warped values of our intelligentsia and political classes” control what is happening to New Zealand children in schools. That it amounts to the great badness we call abuse, a disease (dis-ease) of the liberal Left, is not a minor claim to make. But judging the system by its fruits, it is a sobering reality. Take the field of knowledge. To deliberately dumb down the process of educating children by reducing their access to impor-

tant knowledge is to abuse their and their parents’ trust. The prime justification for cooping up youngsters for hours on end, year after the year, was traditionally so that they would not be deprived of a body of knowledge that contains the accumulated wisdom of mankind – not only basic literacy and arithmetical skills, but our history, geography, literature, philosophy; the various branches of science, physics, astronomy, higher mathematics, ancient and foreign languages, great music and art. Yet most of today’s school leavers, including very many who cannot even read or speak well – let alone write a grammatical sentence or paragraph – are staggeringly ignorant in nearly every field. What possible excuse can the education establishment have to justify the fact that former school leavers, once required to pass a proficiency examination before moving from primary to secondary school, showed a far greater competence at a primary school Standard 6 (Form 2) level than our present Form 7 secondary school exodus? It should shock us that an Intermediate School principal actually argues that rein-

troducing literacy and numerous standards (and very basic ones at that) would mean “teaching a curriculum out of touch with the needs of today’s students”, that “the twin towers of numeracy and literacy will mean students fall into the 19th century mode of education”. Would that these children should be so lucky as to actually have real course content to master, specific knowledge to acquire. The latter involved a requirement for genuine literacy – rather than the dumbed-down text messaging the ministry now says is good enough for young New Zealanders. Why aren’t we calling for heads to roll? Ah, but in a gem of a contribution from another principal – “If we measure a kid’s height it doesn’t make them (sic) taller so how is measuring kids nationally going to make them learn more?” The answer to this Einsteinian conundrum is that teachers would now actually be answerable for a change. However these “national standards”, in a typical misuse of language, are not even national standards at all. And what about the false “knowledge” supplied to young minds? The compulsory exposure to global warming propaganda and misinformation, even lies? What about teachers’ mischief-making in socio-political areas, so that propagandized youngsters write half-baked letters to the paper or take adults to task – as with the Wanganui students? What about radicalized teachers with their “saving the planet” nonsense inveighing against the wicked use of plastic shopping bags? At present New Zealand actually has to import used plastic shopping bags to turn them into road barriers, cable reels and garden edging. Directing school pupils onto witch hunts is simply a way of avoiding real teaching, genuine learning. So are the interminable “projects”, the tedious “child-centred” activities removing the onus from teachers to provide quality teaching, sending pupils to cut-andpaste web substitutes with no chance of indepth learning, evaluating, acquiring vital skills of judging and discriminating. The content of lessons? What about the 10 year old child who had become “obsessed” with tsunamis...? “After she learned about natural disasters, at school, every night she’d ask, ‘Is an earthquake going to happen?’ ” Poor little child hero, sounding the alarm in Samoa… Throughout this country, social studies classes disgracefully and overwhelmingly focus on disaster scenarios – all that my own son’s exercise book contained for a whole year’s work! However,

What about the false “knowledge” supplied to young minds? The compulsory exposure to global warming propaganda and misinformation, even lies?

today’s parents can tell of the fear, even real terror inculcated in them – the planet’s destruction, nuclear wars, nuclear winters, the new ice age – now global warming – the anti-war, anti-US indoctrination of the Left… peace studies, conflict resolution, the anti-male indoctrination of feminists, the pro-gay, pro-lesbian lobbying – anticolonists, anti-treaty propaganda: – if we can name it, it’s taught to gullible, worried children. And Darwinism, the new “science” religion? Yet for at least two generations beforehand, many other scientists, even Darwin’s own grandfather, Erasmus, had also proposed this theory. The notion of species development primarily gained traction from Alfred Russel Wallace’s hard-won discoveries in Indonesia, prompting Darwin’s belated publications. Darwin’s main contribution, an aggressive atheism antagonistic to the possibility of an intelligent creator (a view with which many contemporary scientists disagreed) was what attracts perennially blinkered fellow travellers. Consider, too, prematurely sexualizing children. Arbitrarily demanded by politi-

cians, schoolchildren’s sexual indoctrination has become another new religion in which they are inappropriately group-saturated, in what Malcolm Muggeridge called “a squalid moral decline”. Offering secret abortions to mere schoolgirls, without their parents’ knowledge? Ignoring the reality that not only is a human child thereby killed, but that it significantly increases the possibility of later breast cancer? And what about sending children to the newspapers, full of the depressing, the horrific, sensationalized salacious “news”… ensuring their precipitate entry into a world which focuses on worrying events – prematurely and precipitately thrusting into it so many sensitive children, ill-equipped to cope? Cultures of incompetence – or corruption? Or both? Making children part of these is not only a form of child abuse for which our (mis)education bureaucracy is culpable – it is also an essential badness for which it is answerable. © Amy Brooke www.amybrooke.co.nz www.summersounds..co.nz http://www.livejournal.com/users/brookeonline/

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009 63

feel life | SPORT

Andy Altenburger/Icon SMI

Tailing the Tiger He’s the Kiwi with one of the most prestigious sporting jobs in the world, and his drive for success matches his master. Steve Williams is on a mission to help Tiger Woods become the best player to ever to grace a golf course. Chris Forster has the inside word from the veteran bagman who’s become New Zealand’s enduring figure in the modern game WILLIAMS cuts a familiar figure on the most famous fairways around the world. He’s the tall, relaxed bloke wearing long shorts, a peaked cap and Nike track shoes. Decent sun tan for a Kiwi lad. Always busy, always attentive and always in camera shot but at a discreet distance from the most filmed man in sport. The super-caddy turns 47 after Christmas and the man Tiger calls “Stevie” will have been at the top of his game for 30 years. He’s an astute student of the game and 64 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009

deceptively sharp, and has established himself as the perfect right hand man for the fiercely-competitive Woods. It would be easy to forget Williams actually made his name as a caddy for Australian Greg Norman for seven years, until the Great White Shark fired him in 1989. He wasn’t out of work for long and soon picked up the clubs of popular American Raymond Floyd for a ten year stint, helping the veteran on a golden end to his years on the PGA Tour.

But ever since a successful poaching mission from Tiger’s coach in 1999, it’s been the Woods and Williams partnership. Fame has been a constant companion and he doesn’t want it to stop here. “The ultimate goal is to eclipse Jack’s (as in the great Jack Nicklaus) record of 18 Majors. Tiger has 14 Majors to his name and his goal is to get to 19 and beyond. “The goal’s enough to keep you going and to keep motivated. It’s something to strive for. If it comes and Tiger does achieve

that it might be time to slow down a little bit, or cut down – but I haven’t thought too much about that”. 13 of those 14 Major Championship wins for the undisputed World Number One, have been with the expert guidance of Williams, starting with the PGA Championship in 1999. It was followed by a purple patch at the four Majors. Woods missed out on the Masters at Augusta National in 2000 but went on to blitz the competition at the U.S Open and British Open – retain his PGA crown – and then complete a Tiger-slam with the first of his 3 Masters titles in 2001. If his boss can regain the peak of his powers, Williams could be heading for a rather content and luxuriant semi-retirement before his strikes 50. Many purists argue that Williams isn’t a sportsman. That he’s famous by association, or a virtual servant. Carrying a bag and replacing divots is not everyone’s idea of elite performance. But the man himself is proud of his craft. “As for caddying, everyone has a different interpretation. I work as a golf caddy – working outside for a living – and I consider it some sort of a sport”. You can’t argue with him. Especially with the flagging fortunes of New Zealand’s top playing prospects, notably Danny Lee. Rotorua’s finest was huge news when he eclipsed Woods to become the youngest-ever winner of the U.S Amateur Championship in August last year. He turned professional – still only 18– and not long after a stunning victory over a top class field at the Johnnie Walker Classic in Perth. His last unpaid outing was at the Masters in April. But after a few promising early signs it’s been a shaky ride for Lee. He missed out on retaining a PGA Tour playing card for the United States, fluffed his lines at qualifying school – and finished near the tail of the field at the recent HSBC Champions in Shanghai. Australian golfer Rod Pampling played with Lee there, and commented how Lee seemed paralysed by indecision. Steve Williams has his own take on the teenager’s early career speed wobbles. “It’s very difficult at a very young age to step right up and play well in America. It’s the most difficult tour in the world, and the most demanding, and you have all the best in players in the world. It’s not easy. He’s proved he can compete in a couple of tournaments”.

“Before my caddying career is over, I would like him to come down here again. It’s certainly one thing I’d love to do and have him play here again Williams hasn’t actually seen Lee play even though he has featured in a couple of events where Woods has featured. Fate or form’s never drawn them together. “They consider Danny, Rory McIlroy and the new Japanese guy (Ryo Ishikawa as the three foremost young players in the world. The European Tour might be good for Danny.” He’s got a point. Ishikawa’s a year younger, and turned professional at an even younger age than Lee. But he’s made his name on the Japan Tour before trying to make waves in bigger ponds. McIlroy’s a prodigiously talented Northern Irishman, who is starting to bloom after two years as a professional by focussing on Europe. A top ten finish at this year’s PGA Championship shows how far he’s come in just two years. Tiger Woods made a rare journey to our part of the world in November. Williams probably had something to do with it on a course re-designed by his old mate Greg Norman. But it was more about the main man’s desire “to be known as a global player”. They arrived to a Melbourne heatwave from a trying excursion to China in Woods’ flash private jet, and a guaranteed attendance fee for the Masters of $2.5 million. It’s probably worth it. The tournament was a sell-out before a ball was struck in anger. The Australasian Tour’s also been

struggling for traction in the war of golfing regions, as Asia relentlessly starts to flourish and expand. The precedent was set, for better or worse, in New Zealand back in January 2002. Tiger Woods famously agreed to spread the golfing gospel to Williams’ homeland. The summer holidays news diet of road crash stories and jellyfish infested beaches were brightened up by the super-sportsstar’s arrival in an earlier model of a privately-owned jet. But his million dollar attendance fee to play at Paraparaumu bankrupted New Zealand Golf. The crowds and the weather didn’t play ball at the exposed seaside links course, and a portly Australian by the name of Craig Parry prevailed on the final day. It remains Williams desire to get make amends in what could be the autumnal years of his association with the measured American phenomenon. “Before my caddying career is over, I would like him to come down here again. It’s certainly one thing I’d love to do and have him play here again”. Whether that happens will be up to the rate of progress of Tiger’s accumulation of major championships and probably the very deep pockets of a local golfing enthusiast. Or maybe Tiger Woods might forget about the money and do his long time mate a favour. INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009 65

feel life | ALT.HEALTH

Beating stress Wilhelm Klimer examines the bugbear of modern living

Modern life can be a blur of dropping the children off at school, preparing for an important meeting at work and then managing a big project for the boss only to get to the weekend and face a mountain of household chores. It all translates into stress for a lot of people, which means a series of negative signals, both mental and physical. Many start to feel worn out. Some fall ill. “Stress is harmful in the long run,” says psychologist Joachim Kugler of the Dresden Technical University. But every person experiences stress differently. “What’s stressful for one is just a challenge for the second. A third might see it as a neutral.” A person’s time limitations don’t make a difference, adds Frank Schneider, president of the German Association for Psychiatry, Psychotherapy and Neurology. Stress means brushing up against one’s limits. Anyone who doesn’t face the problem squarely runs the risk of getting caught in a downward spiral. “Stress is a signal, like when you’re driving and the petrol level drops and a little yellow lamp lights up,” says Nossrat Peseschkian, a psychotherapeutic physician and neurologist. He sees stress as the expression of conflict, which manifests itself as disease. 66 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009

Stress can show itself in a variety of ways. It can be subjective: a person might just feel stressed and try to learn more about it. But it can also manifest itself on a physical level, with psychosomatic illnesses like stomach, head or back pains, a racing heart or asthma attacks, says Kugler. Stress shows itself on the behavioural level by upsetting sleep schedules or driving people to abuse substances like alcohol. Additionally, people who lose or gain weight, often seem scared, wake up suddenly or are prone to popping pills might suffer from stress. “Chronic stress symptoms resemble depression,” says Schneider. Hormonal status provides a more objective test. Just like someone who jogs ten kilometres a day, people with elevated stress levels will see a jump in cortisone levels in their saliva. Football coaches awaiting a big game or top-level stock market traders ahead of the opening bell would never admit to being stressed, says Kugler. But studies have shown they have elevated cortisone levels. That change can explain the stomach problems which some people experience during stress. “The stress hormone cortisol strips away the acid protection of the stomach lining.” It also boosts immunity in the short term, but weakens it in the

long term, meaning people suffering from stress are more likely to catch the sniffles. That means it is important to manage both positive and negative stress. Relaxation methods like autogenic training or progressive muscle relaxation in the Jacobsen style are both possibilities. “That makes it possible to learn how to survive certain situations without damaging stress,” says Schneider. He says he will often put aside the telephone for a moment or two in stressful situations and take two minutes to compose himself. “When someone learns to split his energy between multiple areas of life, then he can cope quite well with life’s surprises,” says Peseschkian. He says it is important to find the positive in stress. Fear is a sign that someone is avoiding particular questions. Aggression shows a need to express feelings. Depression shows that someone has yet to make a decision. Stress management means keeping an eye on what happens next. Keeping an inventory is important. How, where and when did the stressful situation develop? What was the reaction? What was learned from the crisis? How did a person get past it? Finally, it’s important to keep one thing in mind: “When a person has a goal, it’s possible to push stress to the side.”

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INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009 67

taste life travel

Nearly sensible dining When in Vienna, eat like an Austrian, writes Alan Behr A visit to Vienna I made some years ago turned into a three-day sugar high as I went, like a bee from flower to flower, from one great cafe to another, eating almost nothing but classic Viennese pastries. Older and wiser, this time I would do it differently: I would prove to myself and to my gentle and patient cardiologist, Dr. No Fun, that I could visit Vienna and keep to my low-fat, low-calorie. Although I was staying at the Hotel Sacher, which offers perhaps Europe’s best sparkling-wine buffet breakfast, on my first morning, I ordered an egg-white omelet, made myself a plate of fresh fruit salad and poured a glass of perfectly fresh orange juice. I then checked into the hotel’s recently added spa, for healthy rotation through the sauna and steam room, followed by herbal tea and dried fruit. 68 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009

In travel, all prudence can and should be balanced with some indulgence, so for lunch, I had a classic Wiener Schnitzel at Griensteidl, one of the great cafe restaurants of the city. Just to make sure I didn’t fall off the bandwagon, I surgically sliced away about half of the fried breadcrumb envelope that makes an expertly prepared Wiener Schnitzel, which is what Griensteidl serves, the surprisingly sophisticated medley of flavors that it is. The next morning, I felt it was only fair, in light of my relative success of the prior day, to take just a bit of the Sachertorte that’s always left out for breakfast at the hotel whose name the classic chocolate pastry bears, and to add a smidgeon of the hotel’s private-label sparkling wine to my orange juice, turning it into a very modest Mimosa.

For lunch, I chose Oesterreicher im MAK. The MAK is the city’s museum of applied arts, but unlike most museums, where you are lucky to get only an overpriced cafeteria, here you are offered a chic restaurant synthesizing tradition with modern sensibilities. Chef Helmut Oesterreicher – the name literally means “Austrian” – has made a restaurant that mixes contemporary decor and an aura of cool with Austrian specialties: Those on the left side of the menu are made the old-fashioned way (with butter, cream, hearty meats – the very regional delights that Dr. No Fun has branded the foods of the damned), while those on the right side of the menu offer a lighter, healthier take on tradition (the election of which apparently would earn me a halo). I selected my low-fat chicken breast from the right side,

but I snuck over to the naughty page for a Frittatensuppe – a beef broth with crepe strips that was actually quite light. I had a meeting with business associates at Cafe Gerstner – and I could hardly refuse the offer of that classic cherry strudel. To do that in front of Viennese could appear rude – so I explained it to myself. Later, at the opera, where Gerstner is the house caterer, the Champagne flowed at intermission – and I’m glad to say that some of it flowed in my direction. Happily, on my healthyheart diet, wine (especially red wine) isn’t merely permitted – it’s virtually prescribed. The next morning, therefore, the Mimosa eye opener that I made for myself at the Sacher leaned, for medicinal purposes, more heavily on sparkling wine than fresh orange juice. I still had my egg-white omelet and fruit salad, but Sachertorte really doesn’t seem complete without at least some whipped cream, and that was when I noticed that there were other fine pastries available to try, in nearly bite-size portions. By teatime, I found myself at Demel, which is known for its own take on Sachertorte. It would be foolish not to try that alternative, also with whipped cream, and in my carefully planned comparison test, I did notice that the apricot jam was positioned by Demel differently within the cake, but in terms of quality – they were both tasting just fine to me. By dinner, I was starting to worry that I had lapsed a bit. I went with a colleague to Vestibuel, which is across from the Austrian parliament, in the grand and ornate home of the Burgtheater, which is one of the state theaters of Austria. As assorted dignitaries came and left, we each enjoyed a sensible dish of organic chicken. Chicken is deceptively easy to make – because it is easy to prepare too dry. The chicken at Vestibuel was moist and, most important, light and low in fat. A glass of Gruener Veltiner from the Austrian state of Burgenland went perfectly with the meal. Gugelhupf is ring-shaped, ridged Austrian cake; rather chewy, it goes with coffee in Vienna the way that French fries go with hamburgers on Coney Island. I know that because there was a Gugelhupf right next to the Sachertorte at breakfast the next morning. It seemed as if they belonged with each other like yin and yang, like Gilbert and Sullivan, like – I allowed myself half a slice. I took a long walk to work off breakfast and ended up in the Stadtpark (City Park) – right in front of the Steirereck, which is often named by

A waiter makes herb tea at the Steirereck in Vienna. (Alan Behr/MCT)

critics as Austria’s greatest restaurant. And wouldn’t you know it? I had remembered to reserve far in advance. As with any restaurant holding two Michelin stars, service is leisurely and demure, and lunch will last nearly until midafternoon. Game being a showpiece of Austrian cooking, the meal was built around a main course of roast venison with Jerusalem artichokes, Brussels sprouts and, for the fruit notes, sloes. A challenge with game is to preserve the zest of the meat without letting it overwhelm the palette, and the result here was a perfection of balance. As red meats go, the venison was rather lean, and instead of the cheese course, the kitchen gave me a plate of small, sliced fruit and two flavors of sorbet. The conclusion came when a waiter wheeled in what looked like a rolling garden. It contained potted plants, and you were invited to select which plant would provide the basis for your herbal tea. I chose the apple mint. For sweetener I was given a leaf from another plant native to South America. While I let the teapot steep over a candle flame for the required twelve to fifteen minutes, I concluded that, in all, I could be a proud of myself. Having proven I could be temperate even through a two-star temptation, that evening, back at the Sacher, I dined in the intimate Rote Bar, favored by Viennese for after-opera drinks and dining. The room’s pianist played pop and classical favorites. The chef and the waiter, sensitized to my needs, came up with a plan: the veal that

forms the meaty core of Wiener Schnitzel was served without the fried bread-crumb covering but with a side of steamed white rice. I had returned to my diet in triumph. I left the Rote Bar flush with victory. I got as far as the other side of the building when I came upon Cafe Sacher. It was my last night. I looked left and right to see if I was being noticed by anyone I knew – or anyone who looked like a cardiologist in disguise. Then I slipped into the cafe for a Sachertorte nightcap. Old habits die hard. And in Vienna, a city that celebrates its culinary traditions, some old habits are built to stay.

IF YOU GO Hotel Sacher u Rote Bar and Cafe Sacher: Philharmonikerstrasse, 4; tel: +43-1-51-45-60; www.sacher.com Demel u Kohlmarkt 14, tel: +43-1-53517-17-0; www.demel.at Cafe Gerstner u Kaerntner Strasse, tel: +43-1-743-44-22; www.gerstner.at Cafe Griensteidl u Michaelerplatz 2, tel: +43-1-535-26-92, www.cafegriensteidl.at Restaurant Steierereck u Im Statdpark; tel: Tel. +43-1-713-31-68; http://steirereck.at Oesterreicher im MAK u Stubenring 5, tel: +43-1-714-01-21; www.oesterreicheimmak.at Vestibuel u Dr.-Karl-Lueger-Ring 2, tel: +43-1-532-49-99; www.vestibuel.at.

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009 69

taste life FOOD

Rabbit, run James Morrow goes on the hop One of the great joys and consolations of fatherhood is the license to tell the “dad joke”. You know what I am talking about: those quips and comments that sit on that part of the humour spectrum which reaches from cornball to downright lame, and which always entertain the teller far more than anyone else – especially the teller’s long-suffering children, partner and 70 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009

workmates. And in these politically correct times, it is the last safe refuge for humour: I also have a repertoire of jokes and routines that encompass every shade of blue, but rarer and rarer are the occasions when one can trot out such oldies but goodies as the story of Hymie and Sadie, the two Jewish whales. This may be why I have been telling

dad jokes for years, possibly even before I had children, which is slightly against the rules, but who’s counting? Nor have I limited them to the confines of the traditional open mic venue for dad jokes, the family auto (passing a cemetery: “Look, kids, we’re driving through the dead centre of town! Everyone’s dying to get in there!”). Colleagues cringe when I pipe up at meetings about a project that requires heaps of community consultation and ask if vegetarians are also allowed to be st[e]akeholders. [Stop it, you’re grilling me – Ed.] I believe that one has already put in a claim with Human Resources, complaining of repetitive stress injuries caused by all the eye-rolling she does. And the great thing about the dad joke is that it is both ancient and contemporary, and with the right attitude one can not only draw on centuries of received knowledge, but make up quips on the fly. Thus, in response to Number One Son’s heart-warming (to a foodie, anyway) query, “Dad, can we cook a rabbit some time?”, I was able to say, “Absolutely, my boy! And you know what the best music to listen to is when you cook a rabbit? Hip-HOP!” Well, it cracked me up. [Imagine what it did for the rabbit – Ed.] My partner, the fellow at the butcher shop, and the lady at the produce market, all of whom had the joke inflicted on them? Not so much. Nevertheless, we got our rabbits and sat down to figure out what to do with them. Now the thing with rabbit is that it is something of a delicate meat in flavour, but it also demands low and slow cooking. During my years in New York in my twenties, I truly discovered rabbit at an Italian restaurant in Brooklyn. [You should have called pest control – sorry, I’ll hare off and do some real work now – Ed.] Through the winter it would have a braised rabbit on polenta on its specials board; I must confess that in the many times I sat down there for a meal, I didn’t try anything else. Delicate, rich, herb-infused, with a bit of braising liquid reduced into a bit of gravy, a creamy polenta, and a glass of Barbera was a great cure for the winter blues. Fast-forward to the southern hemisphere, 2009, where it is summer, not winter, and a heavy ragu with polenta is certainly not on the cards. Fortunately rabbit responds just as well to a light touch as it does a heavy one – the key is, low and slow wins the race. Faced with the question of what to do with our bunnies (and no, we did not source

them from the local pet shop), we consulted a number of cook books, and settled on a light braise of white wine and olives and a couple of handfuls of herbs from a garden which has lately run rampant with marjoram, sage and parsley. First we broke down the carcasses, and let the meat sit for several hours rubbed with olive oil and the herbs. Then we seared off the meat, and braised it with about half a bottle of white wine, some

chicken stock, some fresh green olives … and more herbs, especially marjoram. It sat in the oven on a low heat for a couple of hours before we shredded the meat, reduced the sauce a bit, and served it with pappardelle. Oh, and for a final touch we sautéed off some chantarelle mushrooms flown in from France which our fruit market had overordered for a local fine dining establishment and nested them on top of the pasta.

The end result was a dish with a real spring to it (there I go again). And what’s better, by eating wild rabbits, we had helped deal a delicious and sustainable blow to one of the country’s major pest problems. (Indeed, after possums, rabbits are the second greatest vertebrate pest problem in New Zealand). So hop to it! Get out of your warren and boil up some bunnies!

WILD RABBIT WITH PAPPARDELLE, OLIVES AND HERBS You’ll need: 1 whole rabbit, wild or farmed (wild has a meatier flavour, but farmed has more meat) olive oil and butter a large handful of herbs: marjoram, thyme, parsley, rosemary and anything else that is appropriate and in abundance in your garden 500 ml chicken stock 375 ml white wine 500 g fresh pappardelle To make: 1. Break down your rabbit, or have your butcher break your rabbit down for you, into about eight pieces. Marinate from

four hours to overnight in a generous glug of olive oil and a large handful of your herbs. 2. Preheat your oven to around 170 degrees C. Take your rabbit pieces, season them and, working in batches if necessary, sear on all sides in olive oil and a knob of butter in an oven-safe pan. Add your herbs and garlic and just cover with white wine and stock. Cover, and cook in the oven for two hours or until the meat is falling from the bone. 3. Remove the rabbit pieces from your braising liquid, add olives and allow to reduce on the stove. Using a fork, remove and shred rabbit meat and add to sauce, and toss through pasta. INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009 71

touch life > toybox EPSON STYLUS OFFICE T1100 Epson is strengthening its successful range of business printers with the launch of the high performance Epson Stylus Office T1100, an affordable, fast, four colour A3+ inkjet printer. The T1100 delivers high quality output with the enhanced impact of four colour inkjet printing on a range of plain, glossy and matte papers for better and more durable business presentations. With five individual cartridges of Epson’s renowned DURABrite Ultra ink, including two high capacity black cartridges and three extra high capacity colour [cyan, magenta, yellow] cartridges, the T1100 is designed to improve office productivity by efficiently handling long print runs. With virtually no warm up time needed the T1100 will produce a fast 30 pages per minute in A4, mono, draft mode, and can produce borderless prints up to A3+ in size. It is Energy Star compliant, further reducing office energy costs and carbon footprint. With Epson’s advanced MicroPiezo print head and Variable Sized Droplet Technology (VSDT) for precise droplet control and faster printing speeds, prints are sharper and more accurately reproduced, with seamless colour gradation and smooth tones. The Epson Stylus Office T1100 is RRP $499. The twin pack of high capacity black cartridges is RRP $45.00, and the extra high capacity colour cartridges are RRP $25.99 each. www.epson.co.nz

NEW TOMTOM APPLICATION FOR iPHONE Users of TomTom’s popular iPhone navigation application will soon be able to enjoy even more advanced features, with a free update ensuring users always have the best navigation experience. This update, which has been submitted to Apple for review and is awaiting their approval, will bring significant and advanced additional features that TomTom fans around the world have come to appreciate. These are: – Spoken Street Names (Text-to-speech) helping motorists to keep their eyes on the road by enabling street names and places to be read aloud as part of the spoken instructions. – “Help Me” providing direct access to emergency numbers and directions to the nearest emergency providers. – Updated map and safety camera database. – Customisable audio warnings when approaching safety cameras or driving over the speed limit, increasing driver safety and saving money. – iPod player control ensuring drivers can conveniently control their music from within the application. For more details visit www.tomtom.com

72 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM November 2009

LOGITECH M950 MOUSE Optical and traditional laser mice use irregularities in the surface to track the direction and speed of your mouse. The more irregularities on a surface, the easier it is for the sensor to track your movements. But use your mouse on a smooth, glossy surface like clear glass, and there just aren’t enough imperfections for your standard mouse to work.This is where Darkfield Laser Tracking comes in. Darkfield uses the smallest possible details to create a micro-road map of the surface – so you get better precision on more surfaces. And if you’re working on exceptionally clean glass, you may have to wait until the dust settles. For surfaces with fewer than 44 microscopic details (per square millimeter) that are less than 5 µm wide and 1.5 µm thick—to give some context, a strand of human hair is about 100 µm wide – you may want to swipe your hand across the surface before using your mouse. But for everyone else, Darkfield Laser Tracking gives you precise cursor control on virtually any surface – even glass. www.logitech.com

TOSHIBA PORTABLE EXTERNAL HARD DRIVES Storing even more information whilst keeping it safe and secure, and taking your movies, photos and documents with you wherever you go. These are just some of the reasons you’ll want to take a peek at Toshiba’s new range of USB 2.0 Portable External Hard Drives. Packed with style and loads of storage space, the new petite range is simple to use and small enough to take anywhere. Toshiba’s Portable Hard Drives remove the complexity out of backing up your data, providing easy-to-use software for both Windows and Mac users. Powered by USB 2.0, you can take your files just about anywhere. One click and you’re on your way to creating a digital safety net to help protect your files. Toshiba’s next generation Portable Hard Drives feature complete system backup (Windows only), password protection for added security and enhanced software features. 320GB - Vivid White, RRP: NZD$157.50 Inc. GST | 500GB - Liquid Blue, RRP: NZD$219.40 Inc. GST | 640GB - Rocket Red, RRP: NZD$247.50 Inc. GST | www.toshiba.com.au

NOKIA N900 Running on the new Maemo 5 software, the Nokia N900 empowers users to have dozens of application windows open and running simultaneously while taking full advantage of the cellular features, touch screen and QWERTY keyboard. To make web browsing more enjoyable, the Nokia N900 features a high-resolution WVGA touch screen and fast internet connectivity with 10/2 HSPA and WLAN. Thanks to the browser powered by Mozilla technology, websites look the way they would on any computer. Messaging on the N900 is easy and convenient thanks to the full physical slide-out QWERTY keyboard. Setting up email happens with only a few touches and the Nokia Messaging service mobilizes up to 10 personal email accounts. The Nokia N900 has 32GB of storage, which is expandable up to 48GB via a microSD card. For photography, the Maemo software and the N900 come with a new tag cloud user interface that will help users get the most out of the 5MP camera and Carl Zeiss optics. www.nokia.com

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM November 2009 73

see life / pages

The Jones boy Michael Morrissey confronts Lloyd Jones’ missing next novel THE MAN IN THE SHED By Lloyd Jones Penguin Books, $37 Lloyd Jones is probably the most sophisticated writer of fiction in New Zealand today. He deserved to win the Booker Prize for Mr Pip but by being runner-up and, at one stage, the favourite, he has done as well (almost) as if he had won it. The question is what next? Another novel more ambitious and more stunning than Mr Pip would seem to be required. Instead, we have this collection of short stories of which fifty per cent were previously published in Swimming to Australia back in 1991, and all but one – “The Man In the Shed” – have all been previously published. So it’s a round up of Jones’ short fiction, which alas omits or two of Jones’s most memorable stories from the earlier collection.. It’s an odd strategy, though the end result is nothing one could complain about. This could be New Zealand’s finest collection of short fiction ever. Some of the short stories are straightforward – well, as straightforward as the very subtle Mr Jones ever gets. Take “Still Lives” for instance – where, during an extended traffic jam, the protagonists – a group of fellows swilling beer in their stationary vehicle – become aware that the man in the car ahead of them has died, his body forlornly slumped over the wheel. They decide to take charge of the vehicle and when they arrive at destination’s end, encounter a bewildered wife who is of course about to learn that she is a widow. What is characteristic of this relatively simple story (as well as other stories) is the way that Jones ambushes his readers with the unexpected. In “Swimming to Australia”, a bullying loud-mouthed property developer winds up working for a circus as The Man of Steel, his act being to allow children to punch him in the stomach; in “Dogs” a man walking his dog makes love to a fellow dog owner, a Polish woman who lost both legs in a car accident; in 74 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009

“What We Normally Do On A Sunday”, a man with bad teeth winds up being the partner of a family man and an intrusive Mr Kindly becomes the new partner of the deserted wife. Thus baldly summarised, the stories sound like the stuff of tabloid journalism but as expressed in Jones’s beautiful controlled faultlessly precise prose, readers will find themselves subtly, even gently engulfed, by the unexpected. One might say a Jones story prepares you for the unexpected in life which doesn’t stop it being surprising when it actually happens. In a matter of fact way, in Jones’ stories many fathers turn out to be morally fallible. The drunken father in “The Thing That Distress Me Most; the runaway father in “What We Normally Do On A Sunday” and the brow-beating Dad in “Swimming to Australia” all leave trails of trauma and discontent. Whether this is a conscious strategy of Jones or an unconscious one, the reader must decide. The piece de la resistance is the concluding story “Amateur Nights”. This all but novella length story explores the strange world of dreams, imagination and contrived narration. The story begins on a bafflingly surreal note with the narrator being considered to have once been raindrop, a sheep, a sparrow, a knife and fork or Henry Ford. Excuse me? Surely utter madness – schizophrenia – or being a patient of Oliver Sacks is the obvious explanation but it turn out the mysterious narrator is a story teller of sorts with the wildest imagination imaginable. A writer perhaps? The nexus of the story pivots on Neil Owen whose wife is apparently visiting Russia in her dreams with sufficient vividness to make him feel she is elsewhere. Her nocturnal visits to Russia are destroying his marriage. The story teller or ‘Dream-Maker’, as the newspapers come to call him, tops Neil’s account by colourful Russian stories of his own and the story begins to climax with Neil’s seemingly entering his wife’s dream world, forming a third layer to this complex story. In real life, such a “union” would be labeled as folie a deux

– the condition whereby a person’s madness is shared by another. However, this triple layer narrative wedding cake is a show case for Jones’s extraordinary talents. His dream-maker describes people freezing in mid talk with their mouths bandaged “to ensure the name of their loved ones will escort them to their grave”. The way that the story’s dream actually annexes the narrative brings to mind a Kafka or that marvellous Dostoyevsky short story, “The Dream of a Ridiculous Man”. Bravo Lloyd Jones for creating such a masterpiece, and by the way, I still await that next novel with breath that hopefully will not freeze in my jaws. SHRINKING THE WORLD By John Freeman Text Publishing, $40 This timely book begins romantically with two black and white images of the world’s oldest love poem – carved in stone. Presumably the use of such a permanent medium was limited by the amount of stone and the willingness of a carver to put in the time and effort. In 2004, Google announced it could offer users unlimited storage, which means you can send as many email love poems as your fingers can type and your mind can make up. In other words, we have moved from finite stone to the electronic infinite. Freeman tells us that 35 trillion emails are being sent each year. Presumably, these astronomical numbers will only become more astronomical by the day. Soon, if not already, the volume of emails will exceed the number of stars in the universe. While we in the West swim or drown in quick communication, Africa possesses only 3 per cent of the earth’s Internet users. Someone at least is minding the store, i.e. growing grain. It is well to remember that the nutritional value of an email is zero and that most of them merit a zero as mind food. Freeman, like myself, is alarmed rather than thrilled by this elec-

tronic surfeit. For the young, who traditionally have no sense of history, the present is what always has been. So Freeman reminds us of the history of this contemporary tool. It all began with the first telegraph sent in 1844. To adapt a well known phrase of media analyst Marshall McLuhan, I view the Internet as an extension of the telegraph. Of course there were mail systems long before the nineteenth century. In the sixth century BC, the Persian Empire used horses that could send messages at 100 miles a day. The horse system was to be used for the next two thousand years, though pigeon mail also came into vogue. In the 1840s, news could take two months to travel from India to England. Today, it will take two seconds. Is all this instant communication a good thing? For many, the question might seem trivial, unnecessary, even silly. However, Freeman finds much to worry about. Email exchanges have become an addiction. People store devices under their pillows, they check their email in their pajamas or in the middle of the night. Executives demonstrate their dedication by sending reports at 3 am. As Freeman sums it up, email has become our iron lung. Or as one executive puts it, -“It has become an oxygen machine I must carry around to keep me breathing”. The most subtle addiction must surely be the hardest ones to control. With drug addiction, victims can often see physical damage to the body, ruination of finances, destroyed relationships. How much harm can there be in sending an email? Well, as Freeman point out, we can wind up spending more time with our computers than our partners. The machine is being privileged over human contact. This can only be spiritually impoverishing. What is the next step? I suspect that the recent film Surrogates may be a prophetic warning – the future may bring social isolation and a life lived vicariously through robots. I tell friends there is a wonderful device called the landline telephone which not only is virtually free but also allows the spontaneity of human conversation. Better still, how about meeting for coffee? Just remember to switch off that mobile phone or deploy one of ten helpful suggestion to curb the habit – check your email only twice a day. Come to think of it, I might include that in my next set of emails. INHERENT VICE By Thomas Pynchon Jonathan Cape, $38.99 Bigfoot Bjornsen, Buddy Tubeside, Sledge Poteet, Scott Oof, Leonard Jermaine Loosemeat, Trillium Fortnight, Rhus Frothingham, Vincent Indeclicato ... psychedelic racehorses? Surfer schizophrenics? Californian headbanger bands? Well, they might be any of the aforementioned but actually for cognoscenti they could only be characters in a Pynchon novel. The publicity shy author, who is even more reclusive than J.D. Salinger, has a Dickensian ability to conjure up names that are unlikely to be found in any local telephone book. I have many a literary friend (significantly usually male) who consider Pynchon’s Gravity Rainbow the greatest novel since Ulysses. The former tome regularly makes it to the short list of books you should take to a desert island for required reading matter until rescued. I have tried to come to grips with Pynchon before but failed miserably. I just don’t seem to have the Pynchon gene. Like Jimi Hendrix, he’s not for everyone. So this was my first complete reading of a Pynchon novel. INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009 75

There is no question the guy is hyper inventive and has a stunning gift for tacky 60s description – “strobe lights blinked, incense sent ribbons of musk-scented smoke ceilingward, and carpeting of artificial angora shag in a variety of tones including oxblood and teal, not always limited to floor surface, beckoned alluringly”. And that’s just the lounge. People who remember the late 60s (that is, according to the old joke, people who weren’t there) will gleefully pick up on all the pop and film references. Overall, a lot of the jokes and silly songs struck me, as rather a little juvenile. Or was that just the accurate flavour of the late 60s? Mentions of Lemuria, ARPAnet (forerunner of the Internet) and Charles Manson abound. Plot? Pynchon plots are notoriously elusive but we have here the classic private eye investigator scenario, set – as genre-required – in downtown Los Angeles at some past time, groovier than the present. A babe (Shasta Fay Hepworth) visits the private eye (Doc Sportello) to request that he track down a missing person (Mickey Wolfmann) who is customarily rich, powerful and corrupt. Private Eye begins investigation and finds himself in immediate danger. Clearly, his quest was not quite as presented. It may come as no surprise to Pynchon aficionados that instead of nabbing his quarry, Doc Spotello spends a lot of time bantering with policeman Bigfoot (who hates hippies with a paranoid passion) and encountering sexy dames in mini skirts. It must be noted (late 60’s, Southern California, remember)

tell the tale, for despite that fact that his mother runs a brothel, Jitpleecheep is that rarity among Thai policemen – one who does not take bribes. Therefore he is squarely in the tradition of the incorruptible cop that we all admire, a guy who can bring home an honest and accurate result and not be distracted by the whiff of filthy lucre. That cannot be said for his thoroughly corrupt boss Vikorn, a man so venally rotten, you (almost) feel a strange twisted kind of affection for him. This is the third of Burdett’s outstanding and exotic thrillers set in steamy Bangkok, with a fourth promised later this year. Whether you’ve been to the world’s leading city of vice or not, these books pack a punch. And it must be observed his lurid and possibly implausible plots would clearly not work in Wellington but seem somehow almost plausible in Bangkok. The drug-fueled snakes idea (used in Bangkok 8, the first of the series) he admits to borrowing from Truman Capote’s eerie novella “Handcarved Coffins” and collecting tattooed skin must come from the human skin lamp-collecting “Bitch of Belsen”. Moreover, despite the fantastic number of murders every year, actual snuff movies may be non-existent. Early reports of snuff movies which began in the 70s have largely been dismissed as fake. Some murderers have recorded their killings on video but these were not intended for distribution as “entertainment”. Nevertheless, a snuff movie is the lynch pin of Burdett’s new novel as it has been for numerous recent films and novels. Jitpleecheep is strongly motivated to solve the crime for the “Despite the fantastic number of murders every year, actual victim is one of his exsnuff movies may be non-existent. Early reports of snuff movies girlfriends. Snuff movie aside, there is a horriwhich began in the 70s have largely been dismissed as fake. ble account of a man Some murderers have recorded their killings on video but these being kicked to death by a young elephant – were not intended for distribution as “entertainment” the horror is that it is that Doc Sportello often gets wasted on weed ie smokes mari- arranged by humans as a game – and is (allegedly) not myth but juana or, as the text has it, lights up. The effect needless to say, is founded on fact. memory lapse and varieties of paranoia. The narrative insists that Like all of Burdett’s books, Bangkok Haunts is a well-researched smokers get superior insights but there isn’t a lot of evidence for rip-roaring read that merits that amiable cliché of praise – this notion – not even in this trippy text. In the end, I tired of the unputdownable. All of Burdett’s characters are vividly drawn. same scenario played out seemingly dozens of times and yearned Jitpleecheep’s father was an American GI from the Vietnam era for the novel to follow the genre more faithfully. Eg, missing per- so he has a good command of English but interiorly is more Thai son located, bad guys done away with, plot resolved. Admittedly, than western. The contrast between Eastern and Western ways of there are a couple of nasties (Adrian Prussia, Puck Beaverton) who thought is used to sardonic and satiric effect. Kimberly Jones, the get their just desserts but then that means our roving private eye American FBI agent, observes this moral paradox: “You’re the son is turned into an on the road fugitive. Justice then, is little rough, of a whore, a pimp, you run a brothel, you’re an officer in one of in Inherent Vice. the most corrupt police forces in Asia, but you’re innocent. I’ve If I’m not being just to Pynchon’s large though eccentric talent, never broken a law, cheated, lied or presided over a crooked deal I know my likely fate. I will be marooned on a desert isle with a in my life, but I’m corrupt. I feel dirty twenty four hours a day.” trunkful of Pynchon novels and a cellphone with a flat battery. Though Jones doesn’t spell it out quite, one presumes she is feeling And, of course, an absence of chemical assistance. a strong sense of guilt even though she has nothing to feel guilty about. Jones seems bent on making herself even more unhappy BANGKOK HAUNTS by falling for Jitpleecheep’s transexual police partner who is about By John Burdett to have the operation that will complete gender reassignment. Corgi Books, $24.99 There are enough bad guys in Bangkok Haunts to fill a shelf of James Bond novels. There is also the charming but chilly Thai If on a hot summer night, you stumble upon a corpse bitten way of talking about blackmail as though it was a beautiful vase, by an amphetamined-crazed python, a man who collects tattooed a hilarious account of an easily mocked beer-gutted Australian human skin or a streetwalker murdered for a snuff murder, the who finally interests his bored Thai listeners with an account of best thing to do is contact Detective Sonchai Jitpleecheep of the dwarf-throwing and lots of spooky stuff about fornicating ghosts Bangkok Police. He will undoubtedly solve the case and live to – Jitpleecheep’s murdered mistress returns to haunt him as well. 76 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009

Though police corruption is heavily underscored, Burdett – like a latter day Dickens – also finds the space to describe street hawkers and Thai food with (if you’ll pardon the pun) well-seasoned expertise. While it’s a rambunctious read, it does leave a feeling of moral queasiness. Like James Bond’s favourite drink, this torrid thriller noir will leave you not stirred, but shaken. INVISIBLE By Paul Auster Faber & Faber, $38.99 Paul Auster is one of America’s most respected literary writers – and with good reason. There was his initial famed New York trilogy followed by such notable works as The Music of Chance which hauntingly captured the life of a drifter and gambler or Mr Vertigo which explored vaudeville. But in recent times, works like Travels in the Scriptorium and Man in the Dark, though formally intricate, seemed thin and almost navel gazing in their focus. Invisible is in some measure a return to a fuller, richer form. An ambitious but still aspiring poet called Adam Walker, twenty years old in 1967 (as Auster would have been) has a chance encounter with an eccentric Frenchman who offers him generous patronage – a salary and the editorship of a literary magazine over which he will have full editorial control. It’s the kind of opportunity that any young poet would dream about and never imagine actually happening. His patron Rudolf Born turns out to be slightly sinister for he seems to know all about Adam – the sort of personal information that only private detectives could provide. Also Born seems to want to manipulate Adam into importuning his silent girlfriend who reportedly secretly admires him. To darken the plot, Born stabs a street kid bent on robbing them. Though the action is arguably necessary in self defence, Adam is appalled by the ruthless murderousness of his arty patron – a ruthlessness which hints that Born may be more than just a fickle donor to the arts – a spy or possible assassin or maybe, just secretly, a psychopath.. At this point the narrative shifts – jumps forward – to a well nigh anonymous friend (Jim) who though quietly present as a narrator, is curiously faceless as a character. His task is to introduce us to the now deceased Adam’s writing fragments (partly told in the second person) and improve one of them by rendering it in the third person. This intriguing double narrative shift will engage some and irritate others. Finally, near the end we shift to Cecile’s dairy (the third narrator). Cecile is the daughter of Born’s wife and through her, Adam foolishly decides to seek revenge on the recalcitrant Born. The dark shadow of incest between Adam and his sister also threads through the book. Regrettably, a summary of this complex book is rather more confusing than the book itself. In an interview, Auster spoke about his need for clarity but I cannot think of any writer who manages to confuse us, albeit fruitfully, with so many Chinese box puzzle variations on who is relating the narrative and what will become of it. Much as I admire Auster’s skill in composing multiple narrative told from different points of view (and eventually posthumously), I. could not help occasionally wanting him to tell the story in a more straightforward way as did with (say) The Music Of Chance and earlier works. However, in his recent novels he has used this elliptical narrativewithin-a-narrative method. The combination of clarity and narrative obliqueness always makes it challenge to read Auster but ultimately a worthwhile one. INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009 77

see life / music

No shades of Gray in Nirvana Chris Philpott rediscovers Kurt Cobain, and wishes he hadn’t discovered David Gray’s latest PARAMORE Brand New Eyes I’m going to be honest – to start with, I didn’t know if I liked Paramore or not. Let me explain: the pop-rock group led by flaming red-haired beauty Hayley Williams struck chart-topping gold in 2007 with multi-platinum album Riot! capitalising on the success of hit single “Misery Business”. The thing is, when I first heard the track I didn’t know whether to label it as cheesy pop or serious rock. But given time (and multiple listens) the song grew on me and I had to look further, finding myself pleasantly surprised by the group’s body of work. Brand New Eyes (typeset as brand new eyes) picks up where the group left off. As before, first single “Ignorance” doesn’t seem stunning on the first listen, but as time goes on you start to realise that you’re humming the song as you walk to work, and begin to appreciate Williams’ vocal work and penchant for clever lyrics and unique vocal timing. Album highlights like “Brick By Boring Brick” and “Looking Up” follow suit, while a brace of softer ballads, such as the gorgeous “Misguided Ghosts”, prove the group’s legitimate talent, making Brand New Eyes one of the surprisingly good albums of the year. DAVID GRAY Draw The Line Just between you and me, I’m something of a closet David Gray fan. His previous album, 2005’s Life in Slow Motion, is one of my favourite albums of the decade, and an accompanying live performance released a year later holds a place of pride on my DVD shelf. I’ve read numerous magazine articles, interviews, reviews, you name it. In fact, let me say this: I think Gray is one of this generation’s most talented singer-songwriters, hands down. So what do you do when an artist you love so dearly releases an 78 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM December 2009

album that really doesn’t strike a chord with you? Such is my dilemma with Draw the Line, Gray’s latest collection of songs. I was uber-excited to hear this album, frantically ripping open the plastic wrapping and inserting the CD into my player ... and that’s where the trouble began. From the opening notes of first single “Fugitive” it’s clear that the record isn’t much of a departure from Life in Slow Motion – it’s hard to explain, other than to say it just sounds the same. Through the album’s 11 tracks, there really isn’t anything new here, and therein lies the problem. (Don’t worry David, I won’t hold it against you.) NIRVANA Bleach (Reissue) Re-issues invariably come with a high level of nostalgia attached. For me, Bleach – Nirvana’s oft-overlooked 1989 debut – was an album that I initially discovered in the mid-1990s; I was a young lad, head-banging to the sounds of the group’s 1992 smash hit album Nevermind, in the aftermath of Cobain’s tragic suicide, and had decided to investigate further into the band I was growing to love dearly. I can clearly remember feeling disappointed at the time. Unlike Nevermind – and its 1993 follow up, In Utero - Bleach was devoid of the kind of hard rocking hooks and stylised production I had come to know and love, instead sounding like a band finding its feet, discovering its own sound, and (dare I say it) coming over as quite generic. Years later, as I sit back and listen through this classic again, I realise what I was missing in my youth: if Nevermind really is the most important album of the grunge movement, then Bleach is the most important album to Nirvana – the blueprint for their later success is all here, from the simple guitar movements, to the Beatles-esque arrangements, to singer Kurt Cobain’s straining, howling vocal work. A must have for fans of both the group and the genre.

HIGH DEFINITION HAS NEVER BEEN THIS BIG. THE EPSON TW3500 PROJECTOR. MASSIVE 120” IMAGE. FULL 1080p HD. 36,000:1 CONTRAST RATIO. Epson, the world’s number one in projectors, brings you a huge new home cinema experience – with an image that’s an unbelievable 3 times bigger than the average flat screen TV. It uses less power than Plasma or LCD TVs and features a wide range of connectivity options (including twin HDMI inputs). So with the TW3500, your High Definition viewing experience will now be even larger than life.

For information on our 1080p HD projectors call 0800 EPSON 4 (0800 377 664) or visit epson.co.nz Available from Noel Leeming, Bond & Bond, Harvey Norman and selected AV Specialist Stores.

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see life / movies & dvds

2012: More disaster from the master 2012 Starring: John Cusack, Amanda Peet, Chiwetel Ejiofor Directed by: Roland Emmerich Rated: PG-13 (intense disaster sequences and some language) 158 minutes

A CHRISTMAS CAROL Voices of: Jim Carrey, Colin Firth, Gary Oldman, Bob Hoskins Directed by: Robert Zemeckis Rated: PG (for scary sequences and images) 96 minutes

It’s as if the “Scarecrow and the Tin Man” got together to make a disaster movie and the result was 2012, a film with neither brains nor a heart. For most movies, this void would be a fatal flaw, but for 2012 it’s absolutely essential. If the viewer were ever invited to think or feel about what’s happening on-screen, the movie’s wow-whoa-ain’t-it-cool momentum would collapse in a heap of horrific preposterousness. 2012 is the most extreme example yet of the disaster movie as reductive entertainment: We watch as the world ends in an orgy of dazzling, computer-generated fireworks. So it’s perfect that the movie is directed by Roland Emmerich, the man who has been honing his apocalyptic craft through such precursors as Independence Day and The Day After Tomorrow. No one knows the recipe for this kind of fare better than Emmerich; you can count the beat as the movie opens with the guys in glasses dispensing scientific jibber-jabber from a remote location to get the world-is-ending ball rolling. Writing with Harald Kloser, Emmerich has a screenplay with all the elements he helped make familiar. Infuriating or inept bureaucrats are led by Danny Glover’s heroically self-sacrificing president, the barest retread of the president from Independence Day. And, of course, you must have the human-interest story line and sympathetic characters to cast against all the boom-pow green-screenery. This time, we get John Cusack as a sad-sack novelist who screwed up his marriage and his family. Amanda Peet is his ex-wife, who has moved on while still remaining absolutely in love with him. For moviegoers who came of age watching John Cusack play the smart-sensitive guy in a series of well-chosen roles, it’s hard to see him prostrate himself on the Hollywood altar of big-stupid movies. He tries to invest his lost character with some recognizably human traits and emotions, but it’s like reciting Shakespearean sonnets at a pie-eating contest. Reviwed by Tom Maurstad

You cannot ruin the essence of A Christmas Carol. The example of a man who learns that wealth is not happiness, but happiness is wealth, is surely eternal. It’s been Muppet-ified, musicalized and Bill Murray-ed with great success. And yet it’s possible to wrap Charles Dickens’ entrancing story in layers of humbug that diminish it. The odious Matthew McConaughey romcom Ghosts of Girlfriends Past made viewers hold their heads and moan like Jacob Marley. Still, the resilient tale survived. Better than that, but not as good as the source material deserves, is Disney’s A Christmas Carol. This is a holiday offering whose gaudy 3-D packaging matters more than the old relic inside. Director Robert Zemeckis (the Back to the Future films, Who Framed Roger Rabbit) favors thrill-ride effects that are more often the star than the servant of the story. It’s like “Silent Night” played by Led Zeppelin. In this Christmas fable Scrooge zooms airborne across Victorian London like a cruise missile, does skateboard-style slides along an icy rooftop, and spends more time falling through the stratosphere than a champion skydiver. He’s shrunk to the size of a mouse and menaced by runaway carriage horses. If there was a way to work a flying DeLorean into the story, I’m sure Zemeckis would have leapt at it. Colour arrives with the ghosts of Christmas Past (an unearthly beacon of living flame) and Present (a chuckling giant in robes of red, white and green). When they convey Scrooge to the festivities at Fezziwig’s ball and his nephew Fred’s Christmas party, he literally begins to see the light. When darkness reasserts itself in the fearsome form of Christmas Yet to Come, Scrooge is put into the only high-wire set piece that underscores the themes of the story, a graveyard cliffhanger where the old miser dangles over a mineshaft to the inferno. Reviewed by Colin Covert

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