Investigate, July 2006 by Investigate Magazine

Beehive in spin over story about PM‘s husband

INVESTIGATE

July 2006:

Air New Zealand

AIR NEW ZEALAND & THE CALL GIRLS

Telecom

Taxpayers’ airline execs caught in flights-for-sex uproar

Al Stewart

Issue 66

Telecom changes will put the world at your fingertips

To Sir With Grudge

Attitude in the classroom – confronting the blackboard jungle

$7.95 July 2006

Autism

InThe Loop

PLUS:

Mark Inglis – Laura Wilson’s take on Everest ‘Year of the Cat’ Al Stewart’s 1st NZ interview

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Volume 6, Issue 66, July 2006

FEATURES CHEAP AIR NZ FLIGHTS FOR HOOKERS

Are government-owned Air New Zealand executives plying high class call girls with virtually free air travel in return for free sex? That’s the allegation from within a major Auckland hotel where staff have named the girls, some of their clients, and details of airline “fringe benefits” . IAN WISHART has the details

BROADBAND HEAVEN

THIS WON’T HURT A BIT...

28 32

In all the controversy about last month’s Telecom budget leak, the real story about local loop unbundling and what it will mean to every New Zealand household got lost. Now, top telecommunications writer KEITH NEWMAN reveals just what’s in store for city-dwellers and the rural community, now that the Government is forcing Telecom to open up its phone lines to competition

Tests of a new combination vaccine for chickenpox and MMR have hit turbulence in the US, with more reports of autism in test volunteers. DAN OLMSTED reports

WORLDBRIEF: DIAMOND DOGS

TO SIR, WITH GRUDGE

It’s an African war that’s killed four million people in ten years and left countless thousands trying to build new lives as refugees in new lands. SHASHANK BENGALI talks to those who fled the diamond mines and the bloodshed in the Congo

Where once there was respect, now there is contempt. Where once the teachers controlled the schools, now the inmates are in charge of the asylum. Former high school teacher PETER JOYCE ventures back into a kiwi school after years in the outside world, and finds the blackboard jungle is spreading down under

48 56

Also on the cover this month: BEEHIVE IN OVERDRIVE ON PETER DAVIS MARK INGLIS & THE CURSE OF BAD TIMING YEAR OF THE CAT’S AL STEWART

6 16 94

Cover: iStockphoto/Posed by model

EDITORIAL AND OPINION Volume 6, issue 66, ISSN 1175-1290

Chief Executive Officer Heidi Wishart Group Managing Editor Ian Wishart Customer Services Debbie Marcroft NZ EDITION Advertising

Colin Gestro/Affinity Ads

Contributing Writers: Keith Newman, Chris Forster, Peter Hensley, Dan Olmsted, Chris Carter, Mark Steyn, Chris Philpott, Michael Morrissey, Miranda Devine, Richard Prosser, Claire Morrow, Laura Wilson, and the worldwide resources of Knight Ridder Tribune, UPI and Newscom Art Direction Design & Layout

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FOCAL POINT VOX-POPULI SIMPLY DEVINE LAURA’S WORLD STRAIGHT TALK EYES RIGHT SOAPBOX LINE 1 TOUGH QUESTIONS

Editorial The vocal majority Miranda Devine on Aboriginal Law Laura Wilson on Mark Inglis Mark Steyn on oil profits Richard Prosser on leprechauns Leon Harrison on arms traffic Chris Carter’s guide to Aotearoa The ‘born again’ question

Heidi Wishart Bozidar Jokanovic

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Film © 2005 Universal Studios and DreamWorks LLC. All Rights Reserved. Artwork © 2006 Universal Studios. All Rights Reserved. Academy Award® is a registered trademark and service mark of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.

FOCAL POINT

EDITORIAL

Fear & loathing in the halls of power

strange thing happened on the way to this edition going to press. We received an unsigned letter purporting to have originated within the Police, suggesting Prime Minister Helen Clark’s husband Peter Davis had been in a spot of bother in San Francisco recently and needed some assistance from NZ authorities. The letter alleges “the whole incident has been hushed up”. So far, so good. Investigate initiated inquiries in the United States, asking guarded questions of both the Los Angeles NZ Consulate, and the after-hours duty officer at the NZ Embassy in Washington DC. The official in LA seemed genuinely unaware of the incident: “Peter Davis? I actually “If there was genuinely no truth to don’t know that name.” “Prime Minister’s husthe reported incident involving Peter band!” we reminded her. We Davis in San Francisco, one would could hear her blush over the have expected LA, Washington, phone, but it was an easy enough mistake to make. MFAT and the PM’s office to yawn She said she wasn’t aware of quietly and ignore it” the incident but suggested Washington might know. The voice of the Washington official (it was 6pm in DC) grew distinctly shaky when we raised it, and suggested we call the Ministry of Foreign Affairs in Wellington. So we did. We left a phone message with the Ministry’s Consular Desk that gave no details of the incident at all, but simply said, “Please call Ian Wishart back at Investigate magazine” with our phone number. Only 20 minutes later, we received the following phone call from MFAT official Brad Tattersfield, who wasn’t the person we’d left a message for: INVESTIGATE: Hi…Ian Wishart speaking. MFAT: Yeah, it’s Brad Tattersfield from MFAT here, following up on a message you left. INVESTIGATE: Yes, I’m just seeking information on an incident involving Peter Davis where he needed some police assistance to get out of San Francisco recently. MFAT: We have no information on that, I’m advised that the incident didn’t happen. INVESTIGATE: Who advised you? MFAT: The Prime Minister’s Office. INVESTIGATE (in surprised tone of voice): But I haven’t

, INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006

rung the Prime Minister’s office yet! MFAT: Well, they know you are making inquiries, and they’ve advised me that the incident did not happen and to refer you there. INVESTIGATE: Who in the Prime Minister’s Office? MFAT: Their press people. INVESTIGATE: But I haven’t rung them. MFAT: Well I don’t know, all I know is that they contacted us a few minutes ago. Naturally, we were stunned. How could the Prime Minister’s Office have known what we were calling about before we even phoned them, and why had they contacted MFAT to head us off at the pass with “the incident didn’t happen” before we’d given details of what the “incident” was? We fired through a call to the PM’s office demanding an explanation, but soon afterward the phone rang again with MFAT’s Brad Tattersfield again: MFAT: Look, just to get things clear on this. We, in Foreign Affairs, became aware of your inquiry via our Consul-General in LA. We got a message from them, they contacted our consular division.” INVESTIGATE: Your specific comment to me was the PM’s office had advised you?” MFAT: Yeah, no, I got my wires crossed there, they hadn’t advised us, but what did happen was when I called them they said that they were aware of it, they were aware of your inquiry. Now you’d have to ask them how they were aware of it. I don’t know the answer to that.” INVESTIGATE: I hadn’t rung anybody in NZ at all. I find it bizarre that the PM’s office can know what I’m inquiring about.” MFAT: Well, as I say, you’ll need to ask them. I spoke to David Lewis. As to how he would know that, you’d need to ask him. INVESTIGATE: What time did you speak to David Lewis? MFAT: Just before I spoke to you. INVESTIGATE: And you initiated the call to the PM’s office? MFAT: That’s right, yeah. INVESTIGATE: Why did you initiate the call to the PM’s office? MFAT: Because, ah, to let him know that you may be contacting them. INVESTIGATE: Why? MFAT: Because that’s what we do in government.

“For an outfit protesting innocence, they were all acting as guilty as hell. One moment denying an incident had ever taken place; four hours later saying they were “making inquiries” still”

It was a mite presumptuous of MFAT to assume we’d be calling the PM’s office before we had a confirmed story, but here’s the irony: when MFAT rang to say “Wishart’s on to you”, the PM’s office replied, “We already know”. We finally got through to David Lewis in the PM’s office four hours after first calling Los Angeles: INVESTIGATE: How on earth did you guys find out about my inquiries this morning? PM’S OFFICE: How? How did you find out about what you’re inquiring about? If you’re making inquiries of government departments about matters to do with the PM’s office, the PM’s office would probably be informed. INVESTIGATE: The curious thing is that Brad Tattersfield assures me that you knew before he told you. PM’S OFFICE: Before he told me, yes. INVESTIGATE: So who told you? PM’S OFFICE: I’m not going to name individuals, I don’t have to subject myself to your inquisition. INVESTIGATE: So as to the substance of the issue, seeing as you’re aware of what I’m asking about, what’s the Prime Minister’s response? PM’S OFFICE: I have no knowledge of the incident. We’re making inquiries to see if there’s any veracity at all to what you’re suggesting. If there was genuinely no truth to the reported incident involving Peter Davis in San Francisco, one would have expected LA, Washington, MFAT and the PM’s office to yawn quietly and ignore it. Instead, Wellington was a hive of activity and intrigue with official denials being prepared before we even told them we were investigating, and a direct hotline to the PM’s office that appeared to bypass ordinary MFAT channels with lightning speed. For an outfit protesting innocence, they were all acting as guilty as hell. One moment denying an incident had ever taken place; four hours later saying they were “making inquiries” still. As we go to press, we still can’t tell you the full detail of the San Francisco allegation, or even whether it happened. What we can say is that our own inquiries have stepped up a notch, both here and overseas, because of the apparent sensitivity to it in Wellington.

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VOX POPULI

COMMUNIQUES THE EDGE OF FORBIDDEN

In reference to your story “At the edge of forbidden” in the last Investigate: The plight of the Karens is mirrored by the treatment of other minority tribal groups in the region. This organisation transmits to many of these folk including the Karen and the Hmong. The latter face constant harrassment and persecution from Laotian and Vietnamese authorities. Hundreds of thousands have become Christians in response to our programmes and we persevere in encouraging them through programmes dealing with persecution, health care, and agricultural development. I recommend Tragic Mountains by Jane HamiltonMerritt for a most disturbing account of what has happened to the Hmong. The silence of the Western Press is complete. A minority tribal people becoming Christians in large numbers and standing firm in their conviction are an embarrassment to those defenders of the right (or is it left?) . Kevyn Harris, Executive Director, Voice of Friendship WISHART RESPONDS:

Thanks Kevin. I forgot to add at the end of last month’s article, www.tearfund.org.nz also has relief operations in Burma that people can contribute towards

THE FUNDAMENTAL PROBLEM

What links most of the mayhem and atrocities across the world today? The cry of “Allahu Akbar”. Peter Parr, Christchurch

SAFE SEX MYTH

Congratulations and thank you for investigating and publishing the article “Where the Rubber meets the Road: Is Safe Sex really Safe?” on your website (www. thebriefingroom.com) from Investigate – July 05. New Zealand needs people like you to shout this news everywhere and everyway possible. As a Registered Nurse, “Best Practice” statements are taken seriously. Safety is paramount, yet when it comes to sexual safety, best practice is on the top shelf collecting dust in many of our New Zealand families. The New Zealand Family Planning Assoc. has produced expensive, glossy booklets for our youth. “Your Choice” and “The Word”. Safe choices depend on the youth; their

, INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006

feeling, right time, person, place and condoms. Dr Nigel Dickson, from Otago University states that “Here in NZ the pressure to be sexually active appears to be reinforced by adults and not the young people themselves. The very programs that are meant to address health issues compound them because they deliver a climate of early sexual activity.” Some individuals and companies are making mega dollars out of the vulnerability of our youth. A 15 year old girl was heard to say recently “I’m just going to get drunk this weekend and then get it over with.” Is being a virgin now being seen as a disgrace, childish, a commodity to give away? Josephine Schurman presented a speech at The NZ High Schools national finals titled “A Teenager’s Perspective – Sex before Marriage,” asking, “Why are we sitting back knowing all the facts and yet still promoting sex before marriage, endorsing teenage pregnancy, encouraging the risks of contracting an STI or a life threatening disease? Why do we tolerate advice such as “have sex as long as you feel ready and protected.” She recommends, “Abstinence till marriage is the revolutionary solution to prevent STI’s, AIDS and unwanted pregnancy. This amazing product gives life long peace of mind, emotional and physical well-being, guaranteed to work every time.” In the few months that I have been Chaplain of a High School here in Tauranga I have met a number of students sadly disconnected from their parents. One girl mentioned she had five mothers. Disregarding the exaggeration I understood what drove her to seek intimacy at whatever the cost. Knowledge of the inadequacies of condoms has been around for several years – thanks for reminding us Ian but it is like standing at the bottom of the precipice! The message is essential but can it be fired at those who create our “sex sodden society”; Directors of advertising agencies, editors of magazines who know that sensuality will sell their product. Manufacturers of condoms should have to state on the carton that condoms only provide 40% protection from some STI’s and no protection for genital warts. Is TVNZ accountable to anyone for promoting promiscuity in everyday life and allowing pornographic images in advertising as if it is just a joke? “Parenting” Magazine (issue 21 Winter 2005)” states some scary facts. NZ has the highest abortion rate pro-

portional to our population, in the world. We have the third highest teenage pregnancy rate behind US and UK, our STI’s rate is one of the highest in the West and under 25 year olds account for 70% of all STI’s... Are we surprised? “Aotearoa, The Land of the Long White Cloud” is now shrouded in a mist of wish-y wash-y grey. Precious little is black or white, right or wrong. Thank God for “Postponing Sexual Involvement” (PSI) a program making a difference for High School students. Unfortunately time is spent searching for financial sponsorship (not government funded) by talented, capable people who would rather be in classrooms warning students of the very facts you have made available. Isn’t it time we torpedoed “No Rubba No Hubba” and promoted “Safe Sex-Wait till Marriage” or” Keep the Best till Last”? Homes were left sitting precariously above landslides after Tauranga was deluged with rain and flooding last year. To provide best protection they were evacuated and cordoned off. Signs were quickly erected “Danger, Keep out.” Potholes are filled and roads are monitored and maintained. We use our common sense in certain aspects of community life yet seem to ditch it when it comes to sexuality. Why don’t we speak honestly with young people “Casual sex=Cruel Consequences”? Nobody has ever died from lack of sex before marriage! In fact waiting is a manageable challenge that is definitely rewarded. Who wants to haul baggage of previous flings and or relationships into their marriage? Keep your clothes on until marriage is what my husband and I have said to our three adolescents but we don’t make a big deal about it. They are far too busy working hard and having fun with friends from School, University, Community and Church groups. “Thanks Mum for having high expectations of me,” was part of a speech a 19 year old presented at her Mum’s 50th birthday party last Saturday. Our kids love challenges. So how can we drive down these daunting statistics? A couple of Educationalists informed me recently that this is the real world, insinuating we just have to live with it... DO WE? Will we continue to fumble our way through the mist making excuses for ourselves? Radical change is the only way to go e.g. trash wooden bananas used by health educators to show kids how to apply a condom. We adults need to 1. apologize to this youthful generation for our wimpish, superficial and shallow expectations, standards, and community values, 2. ask God to help us, the adults be brilliant role models to our youth. If we are intentional as individuals, families, churches, communities and as a nation to reverse our “begging for attention” statistics and seek God with a sense of urgency like never before, we will see a radical change. We must. Our youth’s present and future health and well-being depend on it. Margaret Muirhead, Tauranga

PITCAIRN APPEAL

We are a group of concerned Pitcairners on and off the island who are deeply distressed by the struggle the last six years to prove that the Pitcairn men are not child rapists. We have been advised by legal experts to take our case to the court of last resort, the Privy Council in London in July 2006.. Now we have come to the point where we need to ask for help, though it goes against

the grain of our independence and self sufficiency. We are used to working for everything we have, we are hard workers, and it has taken us a great deal of heartache to decide to ask for help. The Pitcairn men charged with serious crimes have till now not had their fundamental right of counsel of their own choice to represent them. A Public Defender and a DeputyPublic Defender from New Zealand were appointed by the Governor of Pitcairn Islands, responsible for the introduction of English criminal laws to Pitcairn. These counsel were then assigned under Legal Aid laws to represent the Pitcairn men. Another counsel chosen by the Public Defender was also assigned to represent them shortly before the 2004 trial. In 2002 this counel was still an associate member of the law firm chosen to prosecute the alleged crimes. Again the Pitcairn men had no say in this choice, they had three lawyers to defend the seven of them, and there was great concern about the situation. For reasons which they believed to be good and valid, the majority of the Pitcairn men have lost trust and confidence in the representation assigned to them. They have chosen to obtain the services of very senior and experienced lawyers, because they are concerned at the very real prospect that if they don’t succeed in the Privy Council appeal, the future of Pitcairn Island is in extreme peril. We have to appeal for help in raising the funds needed to fight for our own and Pitcairn’s survival. When it is understood that there are less than forty Pitcairners living on the island, and that the monthly wages range from NZ$50 to NZ$350, it is clear that a proper fight in the Privy Council is only possible if friends of Pitcairn Island contribute generously to save a special and unique community. One of our highly qualified independent lawyers is working for free, the other one at reduced rate, but there are still associated costs which will all but bankrupt us. The Privy Council in London in July will cost over NZ$100,000 – an astronomical sum for us, but the only way to try to get justice for the island. Essential justice and fairness have not been given to our men in the proceedings so far: 1. No jury trial, the defendants were not judged by their own peers, but by NZ judges 2. The defendants were accused and convicted according to a British law that had never been promulgated on the island. The relevant Pitcairn ordinance, the only one the islanders knew, was not applied. 3. The allegations from several Pitcairn women about police promising “compensation” during interviews were not investigated by the courts. 4. There was no legal counsel available to Pitcairners till Legal Aid appointment in May 2002, two years after the investigations started and the Pitcairn prosecutor was appointed, thus giving lots of time for media speculation and bias to grow.. 5. The Pitcairn justice and court system was created after allegations made and some even after the decision to prosecute and lay charges. If you want to see justice be done to all the Pitcairn men and women, please go to www.pitcairner.com, and there make a contribution to our cause. The Justice for Pitcairn Group at this site is working in our best interest, and is constituted by three prominent Norfolk Island citizens with Pitcairn ties. To make a contribution, click on the name “The Justice for Pitcairn Group”.

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006,

That will take you to a screen which explains fully the function of the group, and to the right you will see buttons for the use of either VISA or PayPal . You simply click on the appropriate button and all the particulars needed will be spread before you. Thank you for helping us in this hour of great need and despair. We believe justice and fairness CAN prevail, but it cannot do so unless we continue to secure the services of our two independent counsels, who are dedicated to providing justice for all, and making it possible to be represented at the highest possible level in Privy Council. Nadine Christian, Olive Christian, Dobrey Christian, Julie Christian, Tania Christian, Irma Christian, Meralda Warren, Mavis Warren, Pauline Brown, Clarice Oates, Yvonne Brown, Annette Boye Young, Kari Young, Vula Young, Nola Warren, Carol Warren, Darralyn Griffiths, Charlene Warren

A MATTER OF FAITH

Why is it that people who so enjoy the benefits of science and technology display such ignorance when it comes to issues with which they wish to emotionally disagree? I missed your earlier anti-evolution item but it’s clear from your replies to a couple of letters that, largely on the basis of faith rather than evidence, you consider the Bible to be an almost totally accurate rendition of actual events dating back two to six thousand years. As a scientist, I can see little basis for such a view, instead believing that it is a collection of important stories written to help human beings live together as a socially cohesive and tolerant group. In a similar way, you attempt to debunk the well proven dental health virtues of fluoride in drinking water, but a couple of exaggerations along the way don’t help your cause. In Australia, the recommended fluoride level in drinking water is between 0.6 and 1.1 parts per million, significantly lower than the 1.5 ppm level you state in your article. You also claim that fluoride is the active ingredient in the pesticide 1080. In fact, 1080 also contains carbon, hydrogen, oxygen and sodium (its chemical formula is FCH2COONa) and it is the combination of these other elements together with fluoride which makes 1080 so toxic. Unfortunately, we can’t ban hydrogen and oxygen in water because they’re the two elements from which water is composed, nor should we ban sodium salt without which we would all die. Your magazine is enthralling reading, even to an Aussie who was forced to read your most recent Kiwi edition. But you should strive a little harder to balance emotion with fact in articles that relate to faith-based issues. Bernie Masters, Capel, Western Australia WISHART RESPONDS:

As you read more you’ ll find we’re a finely-balanced microcosm of Christians, atheists, agnostics, Buddhists, Hindus and even the occasional Wiccan, who enjoy good debate and stimulating current affairs. I can however promise you that while my religious beliefs are worn on my sleeve for the sake of transparency, they had nothing whatever to do with my approach to the fluoride story. There is growing international data that fluoride isn’t doing the business, and that dental caries have more to do with high sugar diets than whether kids are drinking fluoridated water once or twice a day. Many kids simply are not brushing their teeth, and many toddlers have become used to going to sleep with a bottle of juice or even soft drink. Given

10, INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006

what Coca Cola can do to seized engines, it’s little wonder teeth are falling out.

TERRY, TERRY, TERRY

You claim that the House of Yahweh Ostracon is evidence for Solomon’s Kingdom. This is a bit misleading. I’ve checked and the ostracon makes no mention of Solomon at all. Anyone could have built the temple to Yahweh. Regarding David’s Kingdom. The Tel Dan inscription may or may not refer to “The House of David”. But to jump from that to saying the same David had a huge kingdom 400 years before is a case of juggling the evidence to fit faith. Ngapuhi means “House of Puhi” but not many would say Puhi had a huge kingdom. Although it does date to about the right time there is argument over whether the wall at Jerusalem is actually David’s palace. Therefore I stand by my statement there is no evidence for Solomon’s kingdom. Perhaps you can supply other evidence? In answer to Jason Clark’s criticism of my mentioning Ian Plimer: granted Ian gets personal and nasty but the Internet site Jason Clark mentions doesn’t even attempt to demolish Plimer’s main point. Plimer claims many scientists assume an old earth when they publish articles in scientific journals but contradict themselves by publishing in creationist literature where they assume a young earth. Plimer suggests they do this because there is money in publishing for an audience who desperately want to believe the Bible but none in publishing in scientific journals. As for Jason Clark’s comments the Hyksos cannot be the Israelite exodus. His date of 1870 BC for the Hyksos expulsion is not accepted these days. It is more likely to be 1570 BC. This is suspiciously close to the 1492 BC he claims for the biblical Exodus. Now this global flood: I have seen many explanations for how the present distribution of fossils and rock types is evidence for a global flood. None of them make sense. Could he please tell me why swimming carnivorous dinosaurs are not with us still? Surely they would keep on swimming and especially eating. Why would humans be last to succumb to the flood? Surely birds could also perch on the flotsam. Maybe he can inform us of a convincing Internet site. Finally back to Ian. In your reply to John Ross you say hard-line Israelis want 7% of Palestine. What weird map are you looking at? Terry Toohill, Whangarei WISHART RESPONDS:

The House of Yahweh ostracon. Given that the only written records dating close to the time in question all point to a guy named Solomon who built the House of Yahweh, and you now have independent archaeological proof that the House of Yahweh existed, Solomon remains the most likely candidate. Sure, you can take the donkey approach and ask for the certificate of title, but there are no other candidates stepping forward from the annals of history to claim the honour. The scientific approach demands that the best evidence be accepted until something better comes along. The House of David inscription. You’re just being obstinate for the entertainment value it gives me. Four hundred years after David, people are still talking about him and his dynasty. Again, according to the written records, he had a son named Solomon who also had kids, hence the ongoing ‘House of David’ thingy.

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006, 11

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0Yes, send me a backpack for $20

In the past 400 years in England – in comparison – we’ve had the Houses of: Tudor, Stuart, Commonwealth, Stuart, Hanover, SaxeCoburg and Windsor. Mention the House of Stuart to the average person today and they’ d either point to a letterbox down the road or stare at you blankly. So commonsense dictates that the ongoing references to the House of David imply it was a pretty significant dynasty in Hebrew eyes. Jason Clark can deal with the Hyksos and Plimer if he wishes. Birds, I’m presuming, would die of starvation after a few days of perching on flotsam without food or insects. As for the map of Palestine, the original area pre-Balfour and UN carve up incorporated the entire Transjordan, Sinai, West Bank and Gaza, right up to Syria. Reports aish.com and many other websites: “The Jews actually were allotted only 12 percent of the original Palestine. The original land of Palestine, as determined by the League of Nations, includes what is now Israel, Gaza, the West Bank AND the entire state of Jordan. In 1922, Britain disregarded its obligations under the Palestine Mandate and took 80 percent of the land to create the Arab state of Transjordan, with a majority Palestinian population and no Jews allowed. The 1947 UN Partition Plan divided the remaining 20 percent of Palestine into two states -- one Arab, one Jewish. The Jews got 59 percent of the land. So the Jews were allotted 12 percent (59 percent of the 20 percent of the original Palestine) of the original Palestine, not 78 percent. And 60 percent of this 12 percent is desert!” Add to the mix that more Jews were booted out of Arab countries (one million) at the time than Palestinians who left Palestine (590,000). The land those Jews owned in Iraq, Egypt, Syria and elsewhere was seized by the Arab states along with billions of dollars in assets. There was, and still has not been, any compensation. In the Israel/Palestine dispute, finding the correct starting point is imperative, and many people make the mistake of jumping in at 1947.

SHAMELESS

The lack of commonsense and military ignorance of the Clark dictatorship is without parallel. She refuses to honour Nancy Wake because she did not “serve with the NZ Armed Forces.” The fact is that resistance workers do not wear uniforms, even if they happen to be sworn members of a military service. This has not stopped a number of Allied nations from bestowing well deserved honours on that extremely courageous lady. The Clark administration is driven by various ideological hatreds, and in particular of anything to do with Judeo-Christian and normal family values. Despite Clark’s venomous republican destruction of our traditional honours system, I am sure that Nancy Wake should still be honoured with the best we can give her; even if the award does have some meaningless politically correct nomenclature. Maybe Clark is frightened that this oft ignored heroine will tell her to shove her Most Honourable Officer of the Fern Frond! Hugh Webb,Hamilton

PUT ANOTHER LOG ON THE FIRE, PROSS

Congratulations again to Richard Prosser. If there is a nail that has ever been hit so squarely on the head, you have done it in one. Well up the list of many "Silly Little Girls" is Teresa Gattung. Who let her loose with a salary of millions and license to confuse and betray her share holders?

Richard. Stand up and start a movement for men to take back their traditional roles in life but include our women to stand solid alongside of us. The other way round, some how, it doesn’t look right. Men were designed to be warriors, protectors, hunters, .providers and fathers. Women by instinct are gatherers, nurturers, nest builders and mothers. Western man knows how to respect western women. Western women know they can match it with the best of any men. But at the end of the day, if that is how they really want it, they are making another "Silly Little Girly" mistake. Winstone J. Norfolk Whitianga.

WE’D GO DOWN TO THE RIVER…

With regard to the proposed handing over of the Waikato as an entity, obviously legally defined, resources and there for value, identified. I wish to add the following thoughts. Is it intended, that the Tainui pay some form of compensation to the Rain God? This Deity performs the very important task of supplying the river with water. Payment for his/her services is well documented in human history. Should the Rain God be GST registered? Can Cullen tax it? Who is going to count the rain drops? What's the provisional tax worth? Can we float it on the exchange– even sell it? Ah, the machinations of power. Are you guys for real? For this country’s future, I pray not. Mark Sandstad, Hamilton

& INTO THE RIVER WE’D DIVE…

The PM hastens to assure us that the handing back of the Waikato River to Iwi will not affect public access, because they will ensure access is maintained. It is difficult however to understand the ease with which our access is guaranteed in this case, when the Government maintains that a major reason for them legislating away Maori rights, and Maori rights alone, in the foreshore and seabed was because of this very danger. One struggles to understand how the Government can be so re-assuring in the case of fresh water, and yet so panic-stricken in the case of salt. So panic stricken, that they were prepared to legislate a act that strips rights from one group only, based on their race. Perhaps now they understand that ownership rights and access rights are not mutually exclusive, they might be encouraged to repeal or amend this pernicious legislation. Peter Tashkoff, Auckland

DROP US A LINE Letters to the editor can be emailed to us, faxed or posted. They should not exceed 300 words, and we reserve the right to edit for space or clarity. All correspondence will be presumed for publication unless it is clearly marked to the contrary. Address: INVESTIGATE, PO Box 302188, North Harbour, North Shore 0751, or email to: editorial@investigatemagazine.com

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006, 13

SIMPLY DEVINE

MIRANDA DEVINE Stealing their own generations

ases of violence and child sexual abuse revealed to ABC’s Lateline by the Alice Springs Crown prosecutor Nanette Rogers reveal conditions in some remote Central Australian Aboriginal communities so depraved and dysfunctional as to defy belief. Rogers described how a seven-month-old baby was taken out of her home and raped. Blood in her nappy finally alerted somebody that she was injured. She needed surgery under general anaesthetic. A two-year-old girl left unattended while her mother was away drinking was whisked away by a man and sexually assaulted. She also required surgery. A six-year-old girl and her friends were followed to a waterhole by an 18-year-old “Outcry over the deaths in petrol sniffer. “While she custody report led to more lenient was playing in the water, he pulled her under and anally sentencing and a reluctance by the penetrated her and drowned “white legal system” to be seen as her, probably simultaneRogers said. further victimising Aboriginal men. ously,” Rogers also detailed cases Nice in theory, but what about in which girls of 10 and 12 the victims?” were handed over as “promised wives” to old men who took them away, with the permission of their family, and sexually assaulted them. These horrendous crimes were catalogued in a dossier Rogers produced for police. Its revelation in gory detail on Lateline has caused ripples of outrage across Australia and even in neighbouring New Zealand. But it is not the first time such atrocities have been revealed, tut-tutted over and then forgotten. In 1999 Queensland’s Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Women’s Task Force on Violence published a survey of 25 Aboriginal communities. The Aboriginal academic Boni Robertson presented graphic accounts of alcohol-induced domestic violence and child sexual abuse, including the pack rape of a three-year-old girl. “I can’t remember when I didn’t feel scared,” one woman told the task force. Nothing much seems to have changed since. White Australia has attempted to assuage its guilt about the awful state of many Aboriginal communities with inquiries such as the 1991 Royal Commission into

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Aboriginal Deaths in Custody and Sir Ronald Wilson’s 1997 “stolen children” report. The resultant ostentatious hand-wringing has arguably made life worse for the most vulnerable, voiceless members of already disadvantaged communities, where the word “disadvantaged” doesn’t even begin to convey the truth. The outcry about “stolen children” led to indigenous children being more likely to be left in abusive, dysfunctional families than non-indigenous children because welfare authorities are terrified of being paternalistic and creating another “stolen generation”. The Community Services Commission described a few years ago “the current culture of ‘hands off’ when it comes to Aboriginal children”. In 2000, the NSW Child Death Review Team noted the reluctance of authorities to intervene in Aboriginal cases of neglect or abuse: “A history of inappropriate intervention with the Aboriginal families should not lead now to an equally inappropriate lack of intervention for Aboriginal children at serious risk.” Outcry over the deaths in custody report led to more lenient sentencing and a reluctance by the “white legal system” to be seen as further victimising Aboriginal men. Nice in theory, but what about the victims? An Aboriginal elder, Margaret Kemarre, told Lateline that what was needed to protect children and women was less alcohol and tougher sentencing. “It is all right for the judges … sitting up there, and putting things, but they don’t know how our feeling of the parents and the whole extended families have … the grief.” Nanette Rogers began working in the Northern Territory as a defence barrister but became “sick of acting for violent Aboriginal men and putting up the same old excuses when I was appearing for them”, she told Lateline. She switched to prosecutions after realising “how much emphasis was placed on Aboriginal customary law in terms of placing the offender in the best light, and it really closed off the voices of Aboriginal women, their viewpoints about how customary law impacted on the offence or the offender”. Joan Kimm, a Monash University academic and author of A Fatal Conjunction: Two Laws, Two Cultures, said recently she agreed with Rogers “in every point which she makes about indigenous male cultural attitudes to violence towards women”.

The issue has reignited debate about the so-called “stolen generations”.

In her book, Kimm analysed criminal cases dating from the 1950s and described how “indigenous men have relied on the cultural ‘defence’, that is, elements of traditional law and lore, to exonerate themselves and for mitigation of sentencing when charged with violent assaults on Aboriginal women”. She points out the “paradox” of a justice system which “might put the rights of traditional Aboriginal culture, with its inherent violence towards Aboriginal women, above the universal human right of those very women to live free from violence”. Although “traditional society was very violent to women, it was not like the rampant violence which now occurs because that violence was once confined within a strict legalistic society. The structure of that law and that society has been devastated. Yet that customary law has been successfully pleaded as a cultural defence.” Kimm says she hopes Rogers “does not receive the odium (from some non-Aborigines and some Aborigines) which I have incurred for raising this issue”. The odium has begun. A recent edition of the Crikey email newsletter contained criticism of Rogers for “blaming the victim”. And on the Herald’s letters page, Dr David Rose from Gladesville blasted the Lateline story as sinking to “new depths of shock-jock journalism” and lambasted Rogers for having a “poor understanding of the social and historical background that produced [the crimes].” Rose objected to Lateline broadcasting “obscene, graphic

“An Aboriginal elder, Margaret Kemarre, told Lateline that what was needed to protect children and women was less alcohol and tougher sentencing. “It is all right for the judges … sitting up there, and putting things, but they don’t know how our feeling of the parents and the whole extended families have … the grief.”

details of child sexual abuse”. Perhaps he would prefer that the crimes go unpunished and the victims’ advocates be silenced just so his sensibilities aren’t offended. Full marks to Lateline for pursuing the story so vigorously. But why did Tony Jones feel the need to ask Rogers: “Are you worried that the information itself may be abused by tabloids and racists even, shock jocks – the sort of people who will take information like this and exploit it?” Are there really people so morally confused that they see opposition to the rape of babies as a “shock jock” phenomenon?

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006, 15

LAURA‘S WORLD

LAURA WILSON The man who wouldn’t stay ‘dead’

ark Inglis must be feeling like he’s suffering from an acute case of cosmic bad timing.His astounding triumph over Everest would ordinarily have spread through the world’s media as a heroic tale about a man whose disability has made him all the more able. Instead it has become a tale of mixed morality. As if it wasn’t enough to have a shadow cast by the climber left for dead, who indeed died, along came the Aussie also left for dead, who confounded logic by surviving through the fairly chilly night and half the next day, only to be revived by a cup of tea. Sir Ed Hillary was appalled at the decision of Inglis and 40-odd others, to declare a “Numerous climbers have died dying man too far gone to saving. I gauged opting not to leave their ailing attempt that whilst most of us symcompanions to a lonely high-altitude pathized with Ed’s chivaldeath. This can seem like terribly rous sentiment, we erred on the side of realism, essenmisplaced loyalty, especially when tially buying the line that they leave behind partners and any attempt to save the felwould likely become a children. But somehow the act of low death-wish for the rescuer. abandoning a fellow human being, End result would be two or no matter how far gone they are, more dead, instead of the hapless one. casts a long shadow over the The emotive tempest survivor’s future” would have quickly been put to rest, and Inglis’s heroism restored, were it not for the unconventional thinking of an un-named American who managed to revive a climber left for dead, without apparent risk to his own life. The dying man, Australian Lincoln Hall, had been abandoned by his top-flight climbing team of guides and medicos, and pronounced dead. Nearly 12 hours later a passing climber saw not a man “effectively dead”, but a man with a faint flicker of life. And as long as there’s a flicker… Lincoln Hall’s miraculous survival has savaged my pragmatic approval of Inglis and the 39 others who walked on past English climber David Sharp. Saving Hall’s life seemed to be a matter of radioing a dozen Sherpas to climb five hours to his location, and carry him down to

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upper base camp taking another 12 hours. Why could this not have been achieved for the much younger Briton? According to Kiwi Everest guide, Jamie McGuinness, it’s a matter of money. Budget outfits, like the one Sharp enlisted to help him achieve his dream apparently lacked the funds to send up a team of rescue Sherpas, whereas it seemed to take a mere radio call on Hall’s behalf and the rescue troops rallied pronto. At this point the logic of the situation begins to slip from one’s grasp. Why were some 40-odd climbers who were present at the still-breathing Sharp’s side, unable to effect a rescue, when it took Sherpas five hours to reach the barely-live Hall, long after he had been abandoned and pronounced dead? Can no one carry a man down, like Sherpas can? Do Western climbers carry only enough oxygen for themselves, but Sherpas carry surplus? Or are Sherpas somehow hardy enough to go without oxygen when someone else is in need? One thing is certain: the thinking of an American, and the strength and courage of the Sherpas, saved Hall’s life. We may get to know the name of the thoughtful American, but will never hear of those hardy Nepalese who clamber up and down the mountain shepherding the well-financed glory hunter to their auspicious goal, with a seeming imperviousness to conditions that fell others. Numerous climbers have died opting not to leave their ailing companions to a lonely high-altitude death. This can seem like terribly misplaced loyalty, especially when they leave behind partners and children. But somehow the act of abandoning a fellow human being, no matter how far gone they are, casts a long shadow over the survivor’s future. Values indeed seem to have been a lot clearer in Sir Ed’s day. Now the unfortunate Inglis is awash with opinions from talkshow hosts who believe he was irresponsible to have gone climbing in the first place, to those who think the correct rule of climbing is every man for himself, a sort-of twisted take on an over-used ethic of ‘personal responsibility’. The right action must surely rely on conscience, and is this a purely personal quality, or universal? Would we have approved of Inglis more had he died trying to save David Sharp, or declared him the bigger fool?

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INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006, 17

STRAIGHT TALK

MARK STEYN

Paying for the bullets they want to shoot us with

our years ago, The Economist ran a cover story on the winner of the Brazilian election, the socialist leader Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva. It was an event of great hemispherical significance. Hence the headline: “The Meaning Of Lula”. The following week, a Canadian reader, Asif Niazi, wrote to the magazine: “Sir, ‘The meaning of Lula’ in Urdu is penis.” No doubt. It would not surprise me to learn that the meaning of Chavez in Arabic is penis. An awful lot of geopolitics gets lost in translation, especially when you’re not keeping up. Since 9/11, Latin America has dropped off the radar, but you don’t have to know the lingo to figure out it clearly doesn’t mean what it did five years ago at the Summit of the “At first glance, an Islamo- Americas in Quebec City. Chavismo alliance sounds like In April 2001 I spent a pleasant weekend on the the bus-and-truck version of the Grand Allee inhaling the Hitler-Stalin pact. But it’s foolish heady perfume of SQ tear gas and dodging lumps of to underestimate the damage concrete lobbed over the it could do” security fence by the antiglob mob. The fence itself was covered in protest bras hung there by anti-Bush feminist groups. “VIVA” said the left cup. “CASTRO” said the right. (Cup-wise, I mean stage left.) On another, “MA MERE” (left) “IS NOT FOR SALE” (right). 48D, if you’re wondering how they got four words on. That’s one big earth mother. I’m not much for manning the barricades and urging revolution but it’s not without its appeal when you’re stuck inside the perimeter making chit-chat with the Deputy Trade Minister of Costa Rica. That was the point: hemispheric normality. As the Bush Administration liked to note, the Americas were now a shining sea of democracy, save for the aging and irrelevant Fidel, who was the only head of government not invited to the Summit. But, other than that, no more generalissimos in the presidential palace; they were republics, but no longer bananas. When Bush arrived, he was greeted by Canada’s Jean Chretien. “Bienvenue. That means welcome,” said the Prime Minister, being a bit of a lula. But what did Bush care? He was looking south: that was the future, and they were his big amigos. Then September 11th happened. And the amigos

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weren’t quite so friendly, or at any rate helpful, and Bush found himself holed up with the usual pasty white blokes like Tony Blair and John Howard, back in the Anglosphere with not an enchilada in sight. And everyone was so busy boning up on Sharia and Wahhabis and Kurds and Pushtuns that very few of us noticed that Latin America was slipping back to its old ways. Frank Gaffney’s new book War Footing is sub-titled “Ten Steps America Must Take To Prevail In The War For The Free World” and includes, as one might expect, suggestions for the home front, the Middle East, the transnational agencies. But it’s some of the other chapters that give you pause when it comes to the bigger picture – for example, he urges Washington to “Counteract The Reemergence Of Totalitarianism In Latin America”. That doesn’t sound like the fellows Condi and Colin were cooing over in Quebec. Yett, as Gaffney writes, “Many Latin American countries are imploding rather than developing. The region’s most influential leaders are thugs. It is a magnet for Islamist terrorists and a breeding ground for hostile political movements… The key leader is Hugo Chavez, the billionaire dictator of Venezuela who has declared a Latino jihad against the United States.” Even Castro’s bounced back. Did you see that story in Forbes about the world’s richest rulers? Lot of familiar names on there: Saudi King Abdullah, the Sultan of Brunei, Prince Albert of Monaco… But Fidel came in seventh, pipping our own dear Queen. How’d he get so rich? It can’t all be Canadian tourist dollars, can it? Well, no. Castro is Chavez’ revolutionary mentor and the new kid on the block’s been happy to pump cash infusions into the old boy’s impoverished basket-case. “Venezuela,” writes Gaffney, “has more energy resources than Iraq and supplies one-fifth of the oil sold in America.” In 1999, when Chavez came to power, oil was under ten bucks a barrel. Now it’s pushing $70. And, just like the Saudis, Chavez is using his windfall in all kinds of malign ways, not merely propping up the elderly Cuban dictator but funding would-be “Chavismo” movements in Peru, Bolivia, El Salvador, Paraguay, Ecuador. And Chavismo fans are found way beyond the hemisphere. Senor Chavez was in London last month as a guest of the Mayor, Ken Livingstone. The Venezuelan President said Bush was a “madman” who should be “strapped down” and Blair was an “ally of Hitler” who should “go

to hell”. What else does a Euroleftie need to know before rolling out the red carpet? Last year, the British MP George Galloway was in Syria to see Baby Assad and gave a pep talk to Araby’s only remaining Baathist regime: “What your lives would be if from the Atlantic to the Gulf we had one Arab union – all this land, 300 million people, all this oil and gas and water, occupied by a people who speak the same language, follow the same religions, listen to the same Umm Kulthum. The Arabs would be a superpower in the world… Hundreds of thousands are ready to fight the Americans in the Middle East, and in Latin America there is revolution everywhere. Fidel Castro is feeling young again. Brazil, Argentina, Uruguay, Bolivia, Ecuador, Chile are all electing left-wing governments which are challenging American domination. And in Venezuela, the hero Hugo Chavez has stood against them over and over and over again.” At first glance, an Islamo-Chavismo alliance sounds like the bus-and-truck version of the Hitler-Stalin pact. But it’s foolish to underestimate the damage it could do. As Gaffney points out, American taxpayers are in the onerous position of funding both sides in this war. The price of oil is $50 per barrel higher than it was on 9/11. “Looking at it another way,” writes Gaffney, “Saudi Arabia – which currently exports about 10 mbd – receives an extra half billion dollars every day.” Where does it go? It goes on Saudi Arabia’s real principal export: ideology – the radical imams and madrassahs the Saudis fund in Pakistan, Central Asia, Africa, the Balkans, Indonesia, Australia, the Tri-border region of Latin America, not to mention Oregon, Michigan and Virginia. But, not content with funding the enemy in this great clash of civilizations, American taxpayers are also bankrolling various third parties, like Venezuela. And there’s nothing like increasing oil wealth to drive powerful despots down ever crazier paths.

What to do? Gaffney proposes Americans boycott Citgo gas stations (owned by the Venezuelan government) and switch over to FFVs (flexible fuel vehicles). He’s right. The telegram has been replaced by the e-mail and the Victrola has yielded to the CD player, but, aside from losing the rumble seat and adding a few cup-holders, the automobile is essentially unchanged from a century ago. Yet as long as industry “reform” is intended to force Americans into smaller, less comfortable, less safe vehicles it’s hard to see anyone taking it seriously. (As a world-class demography bore, by the way, I don’t think it’s coincidence that the only western country with healthy birth rates is also the one that drives around in the biggest vehicles: the nanny state can’t mandate bulky child seats and then require a young family to drive around in a Fiat Uno.) After 9/11, Bush told the world: you’re either with us or with the terrorists. But an America that for no reason other than its lack of will continues to finance its enemies’ ideology has clearly checked the “both of the above” box. It’s hardly surprising then that the other players are concluding that, if forced to make a choice, they’re with the terrorists. I get a surprising amount of mail from Americans who say, aw, we’re too big a bunch of pussies to kick Islamobutt but fortunately the Russkies and the ChiComs have got their own Muslim wackjobs and they won’t be as squeamish as us wimps when it comes to sorting them out once and for all. Dream on. Muslim populations in the Caucasus and western China pose some long-term issues for Moscow and Beijing but, in the meantime, both figure the jihad’s America’s problem and it’s in their interest to keep it that way. Hence, Russo-Chinese support for every troublemaker on the planet, from Iran’s kooky President to Chavismo in America’s backyard. The meaning of Chavez in just about any language is “opportunity”. © Mark Steyn, 2006

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006, 19

EYES RIGHT

RICHARD PROSSER Little green men

couldn’t sleep the other night. Maybe I was stressed, or worried, or I’d eaten cheese too soon before bedtime. I tried counting sheep. I even tried watching TV2. At some unspecified point in the wee small hours, having lain awake since before midnight, I gave up, and got up. Donning my wife’s bathrobe – it’s thicker and fluffier than mine – I ventured out into the night. Serene and silent, the moon hung radiant in the sky, the taste of ice in the air, the light bright enough to read by. Jandal-shod, I scrunched my way across the frosty grass to the back fence. As I stared blearily out over the neighbour’s lucerne paddock and marvelled at the snow-capped ranges to the north, I felt the inevitable call of nature. Not wanting to disturb the last of the pup“I think I must have blinked pies, happily ensconced by about then, because as I looked the fireplace, I figured I’d just tinkle on the lawn. again, I saw that the leprechaun “Mind where you’d be had vanished; the top of the post pointing that thing,” said a from below. was quite bare, and the only hint voice I looked down, but withof smoke on the night air was out the least surprise or from my own fireplace” apprehension; after all, as I may have mentioned before, the strangest things can happen at three o’clock in the morning under a full moon. A wee chap, about eight inches tall, and dressed all in green, peeked back up at me with a bright beady gaze. “You’re a…a one of you,” I remarked, perhaps somewhat unnecessarily. “You might very well think so,” he replied with a grin. “I couldn’t possibly comment.” “What are you doing out here?” I asked. “I’m not altogether sure I believe in you, you know.” “That’s a bit rich, coming from a man who publicly admits to having conversations with his cat,” he responded in a pronounced brogue. “I’m just taking the night air. What are you doing out here, more’s the point?” “I couldn’t sleep,” I said. “Aren’t you supposed to grant me a wish, or something?” “We’ll see,” said he, pulling a tiny flask from inside his waistcoat. “Would ye be having a wee dram to ward off the cold?” I hesitated. “What might a leprechaun be offering me

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to drink in the middle of the night?” “Ambrosia,” he replied. “The elixir of dreams. Oi make it meself.” “No, thanks all the same,” I said. “The missus will think I’ve been sly grogging in the night.” The leprechaun chuckled, and took a swig from his flask. “Hoist me up on that fence post, will ye,” he instructed. I lifted the Sprite to the top of the strainer post. “Everything looks different from up here,” he said, surveying the night. “I find it often helps to get another perspective on things, don’t you?” I contemplated this idea. There seemed to be some wisdom in it. “Maybe, but I’m not sure how that will help me sleep,” I offered. “But if I’m not getting my wishes granted, how about the answers to some of the great mysteries?” “Easy up, cowboy,” replied the leprechaun. “I might have a question or two meself, you know. You Big People, I worry about you, so I do.” “That’s very nice of you, but why would you worry about us?” I asked him. “We’re doing alright, aren’t we?” My green companion shook his little head. “This whole world of yours is in a right pickle,” he mused. “And you blunder through it from one day to the next, never thinking about tomorrow.” “That’s a little unfair,” I said. “We have plenty of systems in place to manage things and take care of the future.” “Oh ye have, have ye?” he asked, cocking his head. “You’ve thought about who’s going to provide for your pension, and how you’re going to make electricity for all your big towns, and what you’re going to do when the oil runs out?” “I don’t believe it will,” I said. “Mebbe you’re right, on that at least,” said the Sprite, “but you’ve some things to think about, and no mistake.” “We have lots of people doing lots of thinking,” I assured him. “That you do, but you’ve a lot who take things for granted, all the same. Why do ye suppose that might be?” I thought for a moment. “I guess it’s because they’ve got used to other people doing their thinking for them,” I pondered. “taking the responsibility.” He smiled. “Mebbe you’re doing them no favours, with that. You know, when you feed the ducks in the park too much, they forget how to feed themselves.”

“Most of the people I know who feed the ducks are fattening them up for the kill,” I told him. “There’s always that, too,” he replied, with an eyebrow half raised. “Who do they suppose would provide for them, if the handouts stopped coming?” He had a point. “Little green men,” I murmured. “Not this little green man, I can assure you of that,” said the leprechaun. He gazed up into the night sky. “What do ye suppose is out there?” he asked. “Tell me what the Universe is made of, and what it’s all about, and how that affects you down here, boyo.” Even in the darkness, he must have seen my eyebrows go up. “Me, giving you the answers?” I asked, somewhat incredulously. “Faith, and where else do you think they might be coming from?” was the reply. “Big People’s problems have to be solved by Big People themselves. It’s all part of growing up, don’t you know,” he added, taking another mouthful of Ambrosia. I stared out towards the heavens. “Well, stars and planets and galaxies, I suppose,” I said, “and little green men, maybe. No offence,” I added hurriedly. “None taken,” he chuckled, producing a long silver pipe and a tobacco tin from his waistcoat pocket. “That stuff’s bad for you,” I told him, as only a reformed smoker can. “So it is, but I do it by my own free choice,” said the leprechaun. He touched his finger to a star, and brought down a glowing spark to light his pipe. “Live and let live, boyo, and you’ll be a wiser man than any who wants to wear a leash, or any who wants to hold it.” I chewed this over. “But what about…whatever else might be out there? Or up there, if you know what I mean?” I peered skywards again. “Isn’t there a higher counsel I should be keeping?” The leprechaun took a long pull on his pipe and blew a thoughtful smoke ring. “You could well be right,” he said, nodding slowly, and giving me a long, knowing look. “But it’s still down to your own best judgement as to whether you choose to follow it or not.” “I don’t really know what it all means,” I told him. “I try to do the best I can, to provide for my family, to make my society a better and safer place. You know, keep the borders secure, that sort of thing.” “It’d be little yellow men I’d be more worried about on that account, if I were you,” said the Sprite rather flatly. “They’ll be coming, you can be sure of that, just soon enough, and your borders are far from secure.” “But we live in a benign strategic environment,” I replied. “The Prime Minister says so, so it must be true.” The leprechaun snorted. “I suppose if you can stand outside in the middle of the night, in the freezing cold, half dressed in drag, and talking to the pixies, you can believe anything,” he said. I wondered if the wee fellow was insulting my intellect, but I pressed on. “What about everything we’re doing to the environment?” I asked. “Does that worry you as well?” “You mean the climate? That’s not your fault,” he said, waving his hand. “No?” “I know you’re doing your best to destroy the planet,” said the Sprite. “But you know, ice ages were coming and going long

before your Adam and Eve were setting light to anything. And as for putting ash and soot in the air….you’d not have seen Vesuvius, or Krakatoa, or…Taupo! Now there was a display of fireworks!” The leprechaun sat down on the strainer post and crossed his legs. I leaned on the fence next to him, the wire digging into my forearms. We contemplated the night sky in silence for a while. I had to admit I was beginning to feel a little sleepy. The leprechaun puffed on his pipe and took another sip from his flask. “You’ve allayed some of my fears, just a little,” he said presently. “I’ll answer you a question now, if you’d like.” I didn’t have to think for long. “How about next week’s Lotto numbers?” I asked, quite seriously. At that, the little man laughed out loud, and slapped his tiny thigh. “Begorrah, you’ve not convinced yourself that I’m real, have ye? Go back to bed, ye eejit. You don’t need any Ambrosia!” I think I must have blinked about then, because as I looked again, I saw that the leprechaun had vanished; the top of the post was quite bare, and the only hint of smoke on the night air was from my own fireplace. I did go back to bed, and I slept after that; and dreamt; not of stars and fairies and little green men, but of common sense and hard work and reasonable outcomes and a stable future. And I did check to see if there happened to be a four-leaf clover under the fence strainer before I bought my Lotto ticket the next morning. There wasn’t.

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006, 21

SOAPBOX

LEON HARRISON

here is much that contributes to the anti-gun culture. It perpetuates to the extremes in a pacifistic country such as New Zealand. Somewhat ironic since it has produced some of the best military forces in the world and our modern nation has been founded upon the skills of the outdoors. While much of the world has her eyes open in regards the reality of violence, we remain blind. A rifle is a tool, like any other item of purpose-built engineering. The user decides how it is to be implemented. The rifle is designed specifically to kill, there is no question of that. Anyone who uses this as part of an argument is not adding anything by claiming pure fact. A peacekeeper is armed to protect themselves and those about them. They “The driver does not need to be must be armed to present a drunk. The effect is the same as if “show of force”, one which is required if they are to be the victim was shot, only no doubt taken seriously. It acts as a it is easier and more convincing in deterrent against aggreseither against them, or a shorter space of time” sion, rival groups. The weapon, in this instance, like a car, a chainsaw or a book, is not a device intended to kill, due to its state of implementation. A testament of failure to do so, a lack of willingness, is surely shown in recent years with the likes of Rwanda or the Balkans. No, a car is not a weapon of design, but the instant that a user of that piece of equipment decides it is so, the new implementation makes it so. The driver does not need to be drunk. The effect is the same as if the victim was shot, only no doubt it is easier and more convincing in a shorter space of time. To put it in perspective and a modern military context, most rounds that firearms use to kill are not very efficient killers at all, including the current issue rifles of Western militaries, the 5.56mm NATO cartridge, which is a long range varmint cartridge of all things – yes, designed to kill rabbits and such like. That simply means more ammunition is expended, and lives are further risked. Our sons and daughters are sent to war zones with just such equipment. This equals more money in the pockets of the manufacturers and more work for the mortuaries of this world. Someone needs to tell the politicians that the days of the Cold War are over. An extremist does not

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hold to the same value of human life as we expected in those times of our potential enemies, who indeed shared the same enemies but a few decades before. It seems that many a person claiming the advocating of peace (and who in their right mind would not?) leaves out the basic fact that man, by nature, is a fighter, and presumes somehow simple words of reason would have a man, woman or child on some battlefield instantly dropping their weapon for a new way of life. Never mind that some feuds have been raging for centuries. Never mind that some have no other (as absurd as it may seem to you, in a first world country) way of making a living. People like the recently much-publicised Harmeet Singh Sooden of Christian Peacemaker Teams fame think they will save the world by putting themselves in harm’s way and not listen to the warfighters on the ground, then risk the soldiers’ lives in a rescue mission that need not have occurred if these arrogant attitudes stayed at home. It is easy for us here, particularly in a country like New Zealand, to judge another man for having an AK47 assault rifle on his kitchen table, a pistol under his pillow, when he needs to protect his family from marauding bandits, disloyal soldiers or dissident rebels. We have that liberty. Many live in fear day and night. And I assure you, though the rifle be the instrument, it most certainly is not the cause. Until the root of the evil is smothered, the instrument will continue to be presented as the simplest mode of resolution, whether it be a stick, a rock, a knife a rifle or a missile. It is easy to come to the conclusion that, so long as people are quick to anger and slow to think, war on all levels will continue to dominate the global landscape. It seems that one need travel less and less distance these days to find an excuse to exact violence upon their fellow man. One only need to look to the Solomon Islands, the Philippines or East Timor for current examples, Borneo or Malaya to take things a little further back. We ignore such realities at our peril. Personally the current government does nothing to ease my nerves when our PM uses such phrases as our living in a “benign strategic environment”. The root of the troubles lies not in the inanimate object known ubiquitously as gun. Its trade makes commercial sense. Sad as it may be, until the attitude to the former is resolved, many will continue to profit from the latter.

Soapbox is an occasional column in Investigate. If you have an issue you’d like to sound off about, email 750 words to editorial@investigatemagazine.com

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INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006, 23

LINE ONE

CHRIS CARTER The hitch hiker’s guide to Aotearoa

ho can ever forget the intrepid adventures of Arthur Dent and Ford Prefect who, having fled Earth seconds before its total destruction by the Vogons, embarked upon an incredible galactic journey to seek the ultimate answer to the ultimate question about life, the universe, and everything? Eventually, having travelled several zillion light years in their quest they came upon a planet sized computer rejoicing in the name, “Deep Thought” whose incredible computing power having exercised itself for several aeons regurgitated the final and definitive answer – Forty Two! At this point our adventurers felt that perhaps they may have asked the wrong question, and imme“It was simply a matter of diately set forth to seek out organisation and revolved around instead, just who in fact was really in control of “Life, the the formation of small, but very Universe and Everything.” vocal groups, whose sole purpose To cut this preamble short, eventually discovered in life was to give the impression they that all power in the entire that they were the voice universe was held and conof the people” trolled by the white mice, who from time immemorial had been in the habit of using Earth, the third rock from the Sun as little more than a laboratory for their experiments...New Zealand, a small, sparsely populated country, well away from the rest of this world’s teeming population areas became their main experimental base. The whole point of the grand experiment was to determine how small and otherwise insignificant little creatures could eventually aspire to achieving ultimate power and control over what initially appeared to be an essentially democratic society, consisting, in the main, of robust and intelligent life forms with a strong belief in some ancient code of self reliance, true justice, and collective decision making. The mice pondered this apparently insoluble problem because despite having learnt some years before, in an earlier experiment, of a tactic whereby they were now able to easily terrify Earth’s largest mammal the Elephant, these New Zealanders, sharing as they did a so far unshakable belief in freedom and fairness and furthermore willing to fight tooth and nail to defend these beliefs, were most

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certainly not going to be an easy task. It was however, finally revealed to one of the mice as he was nibbling his way through the pages of an ancient book that he was lunching on in the Wellington Library, when he came upon a chapter that described how an earlier invasion of the Earth by the Martians had finally been overcome by the very smallest of Earth’s little creatures, the microbes, who by invisibly infiltrating this wildly virile and unstoppable war machine, had brought it, in short order to its knees and eventual destruction. “Well I’ll be,” quoth the mouse, “If bugs did that to the Martians, we mice should have no problems at all with the Kiwis” and so it was that they drew their plans against us. To terrorise a majority when we are both tiny and very much in a minority, this was the problem that the mice faced, a problem, that being very smart indeed, they quickly solved. It was simply a matter of organisation and revolved around the formation of small, but very vocal groups, whose sole purpose in life was to give the impression that they were the voice of the people. New Zealanders, it had been observed, were long used to simply getting on with their lives, working hard, bringing up their children, and indeed were seemingly quite happy to leave the management of their Country’s affairs to a group of fellow citizens who they elected to perform this task. This system, with very few hiccups had worked admirably for many decades, but the mice quickly realised that this seemingly ideal state of affairs was ripe for disruption, and better yet that it was unlikely that anyone would notice. The battle cry “Agitation” became the watchword of the previously insignificant. In mouse holes all over the land, small groups of mice selected formerly thought to be minor issues, then carefully planned ways by shouting in unison to seemingly make these issues ones of national importance. The mice had long since noticed that the people who governed this land, not unlike fleas on a dog who simply feed on its blood, in fact had little or no idea as to how dogs actually lived, in the main, because they spoke an entirely different language. This, the mice had seen, was there to be exploited. Quickly learning Flea-Speak, groups of bearded and sandal-wearing mice began to invade Parliament. In fact wherever a Cabinet Minister was to be found, he or she was bound to be surrounded by mice squeaking loudly

in unison about problems previously unrecognised as being of any real importance, but which by continual pressure were sure as heck going to be so. Oh, mustn’t forget in this wee chronicle that the politicians were quickly brainwashed at the very starting point of this experiment to completely forget any ideas that they once might have had regarding referenda or indeed even considering what the bulk of the population might think or want...Terrorising of the majority by a tiny minority will never survive a democratic process so it must be eliminated! OK, so where to begin: Suggested “Issues” that we, the mice, will build from molehills to towering mountains of “concern”... in no particular order, the following: • A dog severely bit a small child so a cry shall go up to computer chip all dogs. That this will have absolutely no effect at all on the future chances of Rover chewing on little Nigel’s more tender parts is of no account, it simply falls into the category of showing how we noisy non-entities can so easily control the nit wits who currently are charged with making the laws. • Two children drowned last year in private pools. The people shall spend millions on having all pools fenced and local bodies shall employ legions of busybodies in brand new 4x4s to make sure that this is done. Once more a clear demonstration of how we eventually will be able to control every aspect of human existence, for instance the schools will not be able to afford fencing, ergo children will no longer be taught to swim, making it much easier to create humanfree beaches, lest non swimming children might drown. Ah, the joys of such control! • The Forest and bird mice shall squeak mightily every time any development is going to take place, even if it concerns areas within which trees never grow nor birdies tweet, e.g. beaches and marine areas. • Control of where people may or may not go is a major part of our agenda. The hilarious mice, henceforth to be known as the Gay Rights Rodents (or grr!) shall agitate noisily for adoption rights and true marital status and indeed an even stronger representation within Parliament. • The pedantic mice chapter shall busy themselves making all developments either domestic or industrial, completely impossible through the RMA (Rodents Mucking About), with a view to reducing New Zealand’s population and industrial base by the forcing of the industrious and the go getters to emigrate to pastures greener. • The family authority that still remains in the up-bringing of children shall be undermined by the persuading of gullible politicians by we, very noisy few, that a smack on the bum represents heinous child abuse of the worst possible kind. That most Kiwi people think that this is a loopy suggestion will be easily overcome by the simple fact that most politicians are appalling parents in any case, are frequently incapable of reproduction and therefore will vote in any way that we mice deem fit. • Being mice we are naturally quite intimidated by all humans in general but never more so than by people who weigh in at more than the usual average build, so it is in our best interest to cry in unison for an anti-fatty campaign. Being trodden on by a standard issue Kiwi is bad enough, but a good treading on by a frequent consumer of McDonald’s or the Colonel’s fine fare is likely to be quite fatal. We have the added bonus here in this anti-fat campaign that we can use the public’s own money to control the very things that they eat

through massive Tax Payer funded propaganda on the public’s very own Government controlled TV channels. We would here like to publicly thank Machiavelli Mouse, for his outstanding contribution in a form of people control that had previously been overlooked. • We also would like to report that enormous success in population control has now been achieved in the areas of the guilt-inducing campaigns concerning the use of tobacco and the other previously socially acceptable activity involving the consumption of alcohol. We mice have been so outstandingly successful in the demonising of such previously acceptable products that a special “Prune Faced Award” has been recommended for Serious Black Mouse who you may remember conducted a previous reign of terror endeavouring to destroy any fun that a certain Harry Potter was wont to enjoy. • “Are you a man or a mouse” we are also very pleased to report is now, entirely due to our concerted efforts, a term that has become almost entirely unacceptable and almost unknown in the recently subjugated territory once known as New Zealand. Indeed should this question now ever be asked, a reply will only ever be forthcoming from the PM, who we are happy to report is in fact a cloned mouse who we have installed whilst we move on to alter beyond recognition galaxies new. The natives think of her as the Prime Minister, we know her, as the Premier Mouse. The construction, or if you prefer, cloning, of this marvellously complex communication device, only came about after years of research and development. A PM or Prime Minister, was essentially sought to perform a number of fairly basic and inbuilt functions, foremost of which was a natural ability to listen to the very few, but to also have an inspired ability to persuade and to inspire the multitude. We needed here an initial blueprint of a living human being almost totally devoid of usual human experience, with few of the pre-conceived opinions that are rife amongst the average population that have not dedicated their whole lives to politics, a person in fact that to whom working in a mainstream occupation was still a total mystery. A further desire to give full reign to a natural born ability for population control was a decided plus, and indeed we found that very little alteration to these in-built attributes was required to meet our Mouse Leader’s desired specifications. Helen Clark has in fact performed so well in her position, (H.M.) head mouse, that her recently acquired DNA is now spread all over the Universe and has saved us enormouse amounts of time and money in senseless replication of similar beings that will assist us in achieving our overall purpose. Recently, Earthlings appear to have partly unravelled a previously closely kept secret concerning we mices’ existence and of course universal omnipotence. Firstly a book and then an equally well distributed movie, The Da Vinci Code has been putting it about that certain celestial beings have had more than a little to do with running things on this, in a universal sense, fairly inconsequential speck of space dust sometimes referred to as Earth. Be advised that there is but one controlling influence in all creation...We are white, we eat cheese, and as far as Earth is concerned, certainly in our number one laboratory, New Zealand, Mary Magdalene’s genetic make up plays no part at all in the family tree of your current PM. She is the creation of small, well organised, and noisy rodents. Therefore be it known that she is not required to be worshipped. Only obeyed. Chris Carter appears in association with www.snitch.co.nz, a must-see site.

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006, 25

TOUGH QUESTIONS

IAN WISHART Must we be ‘born again’?

f all the issues in Christianity, this is one of the most divisive for traditional churchgoers and non-Christians alike. Perhaps it is because of the perception of ‘born again’ meaning happy-clappy, or weak in the head, or even a false sense of superiority (“I’m saved, you’re not, nya nya nya!), but whatever the reason, people hate the idea that to be a Christian they have to be born again. Although the phrase gained popular usage for most people with the Billy Graham crusades, in truth it goes right back to Christ himself, and verse John 3:3: “Jesus replied, ‘I assure you, unless you are born again you can never see the Kingdom of God’.” Those are pretty strong “The water baptism is your hand words: “assure you…unless… outstretched to God. The baptism never”. What exactly did Christ of the Holy Spirit is God reachi ng mean by “born again”? As out his hand to you, and touching the man asking the quesyou to seal the deal” tion, Nicodemus, pointed out, what was he supposed to do, re-enter his mother’s womb and be re-birthed? “The truth is,” replied Jesus, “no one can enter the Kingdom of God without being born of water and the Spirit. Humans can reproduce only human life, but the Holy Spirit gives new life from Heaven.” Born of water carried a double meaning at the time. Not only did it signify the breaking of waters heralding natural childbirth, but it also referred to baptism of water, as practiced by John the Baptist. While many traditionalists have no problem with water baptism, they have major problems with baptism in the Holy Spirit, where fellow Christians are required to lay hands on a person while praying for the power of the Holy Spirit to fill that person in the name of Christ. Indeed, in Christianity itself there are divisions in the church on this, despite the clarity of passages in the Bible like Matt. 3:11, where John the Baptist says: “I baptize with water those who turn from their sins and turn to God. But someone is coming soon who is far greater than I am – so much greater that I am not even worthy to be his slave. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and in fire.” The book of Acts records in chapter 2 the first time humans were baptized in the Holy Spirit, where tongues

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of fire reached down from Heaven and everyone present was filled with the presence of the Holy Spirit. This was the time of Pentecost, and now refers to Pentecostals – those Christians who believe baptism of the Holy Spirit is essential to being born again and entering the Kingdom of Heaven. The chain of command is clear. Baptism of water is important, but baptism of the Spirit was a gift from God himself. You’ll recall Christ himself submitted to the baptism of water, but the Bible also recounts a direct anointing afterward of the Holy Spirit descending from Heaven like a dove, according to Matt. 3:16. In many respects, baptism in water was a Jewish idea, but baptism in the Holy Spirit was unique to Christianity and, as the disciples soon discovered, available not just to Jews but to every person in the world. This may not seem like a big deal today, but you have to understand the earth-shattering context. For more than a thousand years, the Jews had considered themselves the “chosen” people of God. They had been told not to associate with Gentiles, or other races. So it was contrary to the disciples’ natural expectations when they found the power of the Holy Spirit was falling on all those who heard the gospels and believed, Jew and Gentile alike. As Saint Peter tells it in Acts 11, specifically verses 16 and 17, none was more surprised than he when non-Jews in the crowd were touched by God: “Then I thought of the Lord’s words when he said, ‘John baptized with water, but you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit’. And since God gave these Gentiles the same gift he gave us when we believed in the Lord Jesus Christ, who was I to argue?” This is the first recorded instance of God’s offer of salvation being extended to the entire planet, if they turn away from false religions and accept Christ as saviour and Lord. The idea that water baptism is not enough gains further ground in the Book of Acts, chapter 19: “Paul traveled through the interior provinces, finally he came to Ephesus where he found several believers. ‘Did you receive the Holy Spirit when you believed?’ he asked them. “ ‘No’, they replied, ‘we don’t know what you mean. We haven’t even heard that there is a Holy Spirit’. “ ‘Then what baptism did you experience?’ he asked.

“And they replied, ‘The baptism of John’. “Paul said, ‘John’s baptism was to demonstrate a desire to turn from sin and turn to God. John himself told the people to believe in Jesus, the one John said would come later’. “As soon as the people heard this, they were baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus. Then when Paul laid his hands on them, the Holy Spirit came on them and they spoke in tongues and prophesied.” That’s the baptism issue in a nutshell. Water baptism is a human thing, a sign from us to God that we wish to be washed clean of our past and start a new life. The contract of becoming a Christian is not sealed, however, until God reacts to our act of contrition by pouring out his power in the Baptism of the Spirit. Put sharply: you cannot be a Christian unless you are baptized in the Spirit. Jesus said you would never see the Kingdom of Heaven unless you were born again in the Spirit, and Paul’s actions in making sure that a group of believers who’d only been baptized in water were empowered by the Spirit as well underlines the importance in the early church of the spirit baptism. Think of it as a handshake. The water baptism is your hand outstretched to God. The baptism of the Holy Spirit is God reaching out his hand to you, and touching you to seal the deal. Does this mean there is no place for God’s grace and mercy? No. Does this mean that those people who cry out to Christ in the moment of their death will be lost? No. I firmly believe the God who knows when a sparrow drops likewise knows the hearts of his people. But those who hear the gospel requirement to be born again and deliberately ignore it I believe will be ignored by God, because he’ll take the view that if you spent your entire life avoiding shaking his hand, then you probably don’t want to spend eternity with him either. There is a side issue to this: speaking in tongues and other spiritual gifts. There are some churches that insist the only proof of baptism in the Spirit is if the person can then speak in tongues or operate at a supernatural level. In my humble opinion, they are clearly wrong. Although the book of Acts is full of people who spoke in tongues after baptism, the baptism itself is what seals your Christianity, not whether you are then blessed with one or all of the spiritual gifts the New Testament talks about. For some Christians, and I was one, the baptism of the Spirit is a dramatic, lightning-bolt experience. For others, it is a peaceful transition where the person grows in faith as the Holy Spirit works quietly within them. As Christ said, there are many mansions in his Father’s house. But I cannot get past the words of Jesus himself: “unless…never”. If you want to start a new life, to be reborn with the power and protection of the Holy Spirit, ask a church near you if you can be baptized in the Holy Spirit there. If they tell you you don’t need such a baptism, find another church.

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006, 27

The Air New Zealand call-girl scandal

New Zealandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s oldest profession is reluctantly sharing the spotlight with the highest profession amid allegations that a ring of jet-set call-girls have wrangled cheap air tickets from Air New Zealand executives in return for sex, at a time when the airline is battling to survive. IAN WISHART has the exclusive story

COVER STORY

he name is Bond, Barbie Bond; or at least, that’s her email name. Aston Martin, no. Purple-blue Mercedes, yes, accented with the personalized plate bisous – French for ‘kiss’. If you’ve driven the streets of central Auckland, or the long languid stretch of State Highway 2 that runs down to Tauranga where she lives, chances are you may have seen this international woman of mystery. But naturally, as in all good mysteries, Bond isn’t her real name. Nor is it ‘Isobella’, the pseudonym she uses when advertising her prostitution services in the sex classifieds. Instead, she’s known to the IRD and her closest friends as Barbara Isobel Cochran, a 37 year old self professed “high class courtesan” whose exploits have penetrated Air New Zealand, another SOE and even the boards of a few prominent private companies. How could all this come to light in an industry that prides itself on discretion? Well, it may not be the New Zealand equivalent of the discovery of Heidi Fleiss’ little black book in Los Angeles a decade ago, but it’s pretty close to it. Names, dates, details and – most importantly – allegations that the taxpayers’ national airline is providing cheap seats for hookers, albeit unwittingly. It is this latter aspect that makes Barbara Cochran’s story newsworthy, because Investigate has been able to confirm that since last December Cochran has been eligible to fly within New Zealand and internationally to service customers, using an Air New Zealand perk that permits staff and their families to fly for as little as ten percent of the available airfare price. In other words, a trip to Wellington or Sydney might cost Cochran somewhere around $30 or $40 return. But according to those who’ve blown the whistle, it’s just the tip of a very big iceberg. When a letter arrived at Investigate’s offices mid-May, attached to it was a press clipping about an Air New Zealand investigation into a female staff member who’d circulated an email photo featuring All Black Dan Carter advertising Jockey underpants. The female employee was on stress leave, fearful she would lose her job. The press clipping also detailed the sacking of eight Air New Zealand staff two years ago for viewing pornography on their work computers. “This is a letter I never thought I would write,” began the covering letter to the magazine, but attached is a newspaper clipping that broke the camel’s back. It was with total disgust

and disbelief that I read this article recently, and by the end of my letter I trust you will understand why.” The letter was from a staff member at a major Auckland hotel, describing their surprise at “the intricate relationship of the Auckland hospitality and sex industries in the CBD. What does this have to do with the news clipping? Well, one of the most difficult groups of regular guests we have at the Hotel is 810 women who like to think they are ‘high class call girls’. “Some of the worst challenges of my career have been dealing with 2-3 of these women while they ‘entertained’ Air New Zealand employees. [All this while] Air New Zealand managers are investigating the termination of this poor minimum-wage woman employee in Christchurch for no more than emailing pix of an All Black in his underwear.” Contrast that, said the letter-writer, “with what Hotel staff call the Air New Zealand F**k Buddy Club (FBC). “The FBC are Air New Zealand employees who have negotiated a mutually beneficial arrangement with the ‘hookers’ where, in return for providing the hookers with discounted air travel, the FBC receive free sexual satisfaction. “How do Hotel staff know this? Because after a night of food, alcohol and the like (Hotel management ask staff to turn a blind eye to these) some of these females are less than discreet. They often become very loud in their group discussions, trying to impress the others in the group. “The FBC name originated from a Hotel staffroom discussion after a particularly nasty incident where one of these hookers accused a house maid of stealing her previous night’s ‘cash earnings’ from the bedside cabinet while she cleaned her room, only to find the money hours later in her bag of sex toys while ‘entertaining’ one of the Air New Zealand boys; a fact she was not embarrassed to tell Hotel management but she refused to apologise to the house maid. “So why call them FBC? Because the discounted air travel is provided to these working girls by having them linked to their Air New Zealand sponsor under an Air New Zealand system called ‘buddy fares’. This allows ‘buddies’ to book their air travel at 10-15% of the lowest publicly available fare. “So in return for having their sexual fantasies fulfilled for free, the FBC boys provide their sponsored working girl with domestic and international flights for next to nothing, so they are able to service clients anywhere at a moment’s notice. “Having overheard a table of these girls late one evening recently I came to realize the significance of becoming an FBC member. INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006, 29

After they consumed a number of bottles of champagne, two of the ‘busier’ girls started disclosing the financial advantages of belonging to the FBC to one of the new girls at the table. “These girls only travel First or Business class depending on the location, length of the ‘job’ and financial position of the client. They normally charge by the hour for travel and work time, as well as having all their associated expenses reimbursed, in cash, at commencement of the job. “Therefore, FBC membership sees them receive full reimbursement of their First or Business class travel [by clients] while only paying 10-15% of the fare. For one of the two girls this amounted to $6,000 to $10,000 a month in profit on the airfares alone. “I work extremely hard for that sort of money, and they make it from their FBC membership each month. All their air tickets are booked by phone, text or email with their Air New Zealand sponsor who then notifies them of their e-ticket booking number. “Aren’t these phone calls, text or emails more pornographic than Dan Carter in his Jockeys?” The information appeared damning, but the whistleblower had more. “I realize to this point everything is hearsay, so to allow you to investigate further, here are some names and places to let you dig deeper: 1. These girls all advertise and get work from www.aucklandgirls.co.nz 2. Two of the busier girls from this site using the Hotel are ‘Isobella’ and ‘Victoria’ 3. Victoria has her own website 4. Isobella’s name is Barbara Isobel Cochran. She lives in Mt Maunganui and works anywhere else to keep work and home life apart. 5. Isobella’s Air New Zealand FBC buddy is Philip Scarborough. His email is [deleted@airnz.co.nz] 6. A lot of the FBC get-togethers are held at CKK before returning to or leaving from the Hotel. Only recently found out what CKK is, it’s an Auckland swingers’ club, Club Kitty Kat. 7. I work at the [deleted] Hotel in Grey’s Avenue. However don’t expect the staff or management to freely admit too much of this information. The staff really need their minimum wage jobs to survive and the management needs the income this group provides to make their performance bonuses, so they protect this ‘trade’ fiercely. 8. It is not uncommon for management to fill bedrooms booked by this group with multiple adjoining beds. Provided each girl books an individual room, management doesn’t care if some rooms don’t get used and require no housekeeping on the girl’s departure. 9. The top two managers were panic-stricken recently when ‘Victoria’ sent them expensive ‘Thank You’ gifts for their past service and understanding, but announced she was buying her own ‘Love Nest’ apartment nearby. She would be leaving to work from there and take two of the other girls with her. The financial implications of this had the financial team reworking the hotel budgets and effects on management bonuses. 10. A mid-level manager, who negotiated with ‘Victoria’ to continue to provide food and beverages to the new apartment as ‘Room Service’, received a promotion and cash bonus for saving a big chunk of lost revenue.” 30, INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006

The hotel executive’s letter contained some other incidents which we’ll return to later in the article, but the document already had enough hot leads to light up the Sky Tower for a night. First, however, some context.

ir New Zealand suffered a complete financial collapse four years ago and had to be bailed out by the Government, which purchased a controlling stake in the national airline for $800 million. Since then, the airline – under the shrewd stewardship of former CEO Ralph Norris, clawed its way back into profit with a range of cost-savings and innovations. Current CEO Rob Fyfe came on board last year, just as the airline announced a further wave of staff redundancies. First came the news that up to 600 engineers would go, although that was reduced to 300 after union lobbying. Then 114 cleaners were dismissed and, in February this year, Air New Zealand announced it was shedding nearly 500 jobs in its management team to further save money. That’s a total of 917 jobs lost because of Air New Zealand’s attempt to cut costs in every area of operation. In April this year, the airline announced 10% airfare hikes because of the rising cost of fuel and increased pressure from competition. All this, then, raises the question: why are prostitutes getting virtually-free national and international air travel on the government’s airline, and does the airline care? How should the public feel about revelations that executive call girls are potentially able to tout for business on long-haul flights that they couldn’t afford to take without taxpayer subsidies? Keep these points in mind as our investigation unfolds: ‘Victoria’ turned out to be Annette Wells, according to an internet WhoIs search of the domain name. Wells’ cellphone number listed on the WhoIs record is the same cellphone listed by ‘Victoria’ on her sex website. Intriguingly, customers are given the option of “The Good Victoria” or “The Bad Victoria”: one mobile call gets both. By way of initial corroboration of the hotel executive’s story, Victoria’s ratecard helpfully lists “Swingers’ Club – $750” as one of her optional extras. She also offers international travel: $5,000 for three days abroad. When we rang the hotel and spoke to a senior executive, he remembered ‘Victoria’: “Annette Wells. She used to own one of the apartments here – or rent it – so it wasn’t actually part of the hotel itself. I think she moved out about a month ago, from memory.” Which again corroborates the testimony of the other hotel executive. What about ‘Isobella’, we asked? “Barbara Cochran has stayed 17 times this year, sometimes one night, sometimes for two or three nights. She’s booked a total of 22 nights up to the end of April. She drives a purple Mercedes with a red personalized plate, in French.” The executive gave us a mobile number for Cochran, but as we later discovered it was one digit out. In an attempt to get some sort of contact with “Barbie Bond”, Investigate rang Annette Wells. We didn’t identify ourselves, but we weren’t asked to either. We asked for ‘Isobella’: “She’s out of the country, over in Europe at the moment on a, you know, ‘paid holiday’. Been gone for six weeks, if not taken off the market totally – I think the guy’s going to marry her, so I’d pretty much say she’s out of the game.”

Wells suggested that if we had Cochran’s personal line, we could try and leave a message, but there was no guarantee of a reply, she said. “Yeah, they’ve been together for six weeks now – he’s flown her all over the world.” That’s not a bad lark, we ventured. “Ooh, no, it’s fantastic, lucky for her,” said Wells. “How would Philip Scarborough feel about that?” we asked. “Ooh, I reckon! Very happy…” she bubbled sarcastically, before suddenly warmly greeting me like a long-lost friend: “Is that you, Phil?” “No, I’m not Phil,” I reassured her. Her voice lost its momentary frisson of genuine excitement and affection, and she continued her dissertation. “So she’s gone, a very dynamic girl, she’s history. Yeah, the guy just took her over to Australia for three weeks, then Las Vegas, the Caribbean…he’s a kiwi, a young man, 29. Talk about winning the jackpot, you know? The word along the grapevine is he’s going to propose to her in Paris, that’s why we all suspect she won’t be coming back! But she doesn’t know if she can keep her fidelity, you know, she loves being a hooker! So call back in six weeks, she might be back.” “Does that mean she won’t be able to travel as much if Philip’s not supporting her?” we queried. “Who knows? Heavens, I don’t know. She has got a few benefactors there so I think she’s got more than one source of income. I’m still pretty sure she can travel – she had, like, four

trips to Oz booked just over the last month, and she had to cancel them to be with this man.” Talk about lifestyles of the rich and famous. The Ballad of Lucy Jordan kept ringing in our ears: At the age of thirty-seven she knew she’d found forever As she rode along through Paris with the warm wind in her hair… Wells, incidentally, denied getting any discount airfares when we rang her back later, and was happy for Air New Zealand to check that out. Next stop, Air New Zealand logistics clerk, Philip Scarborough, based at Auckland Airport. When we first rang him, he said he couldn’t talk about it at that moment, so we arranged to ring again the next day. For the record, we note that Scarborough used the intervening 12 hours to make contact with Cochran – a factor that may have influenced how he answered the questions below. INVESTIGATE: What’s your relationship with Barbara Cochran? SCARBOROUGH: That’s between me and Barbara Cochran. INVESTIGATE: It’ll be between you and a whole lot of Investigate readers shortly if I don’t get straight answers to it. SCARBOROUGH: Really? Ah, she’s a long time friend of mine going back to high school. INVESTIGATE: And why have you provided her with Air New Zealand discount air fares? SCARBOROUGH: That’s nothing to do with you, I can provide them to whoever I like. INVESTIGATE: And the company knows about it, obviously? INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006, 31

SCARBOROUGH: Ian, I think this conversation needs to cease right now because you’re asking me about issues that are staff travel issues, which is a company issue. INVESTIGATE: I’m asking you whether you have arranged for cheap staff travel for Barbara in return for sexual favours? SCARBOROUGH: No INVESTIGATE: Absolute categorical denial? SCARBOROUGH: Correct. INVESTIGATE: If I go to Air NZ public affairs and get them to start punching in numbers about Barbara Cochran’s air travel, what are they going to tell me? SCARBOROUGH: They’re going to tell you that she is my nominee. INVESTIGATE: Why is she your nominee, not your wife? SCARBOROUGH: I’m separated from my wife, and it’s my choice whoever I offer that nominee travel to. As I said, she is a long time friend of mine and when she comes up from Mt Maunganui where she lives, on occasions we get together. And it’s purely platonic, we’re just good friends. Always have been, and we always will be. INVESTIGATE: So taxpayers are supposed to be funding a high class call girl flitting around the world? SCARBOROUGH: No. As far as I’m aware she’s just a good friend. INVESTIGATE: You know what she does, Philip… SCARBOROUGH: Yeah, but the point is, it’s her choice of lifestyle, it’s not mine. INVESTIGATE: Why would you just suddenly supply this particular person with cheap airfares? SCARBOROUGH: That’s my choice, and to be quite honest I don’t have to justify myself to you. INVESTIGATE: Yeah, I guess the question’s going to be asked: at a time when Air New Zealand is trimming costs, looking to sack people and so forth, that this is going to put the spotlight on the whole buddy fare system, isn’t it. SCARBOROUGH: That is a company issue. I can’t talk about that. INVESTIGATE: So from your point of view it’s been purely platonic? SCARBOROUGH: That’s right. INVESTIGATE: How long has she been your nominee for? SCARBOROUGH: She’s been my nominee since December last year. INVESTIGATE: And do you know how many air fares she’s asked you for? SCARBOROUGH: I’m not going to provide you with that information. It’s none of your business what I provide her with. I actually believe I’ve given you more information than I need to. Really this is a situation where I think the conversation needs to end. I’ve been truthful and up front with you, and I expect that you will keep my name out of it. We told Scarborough we’d keep his name out of it if, and only if, everything he told us stacked up, and if no relevant information was withheld from us, a request he initially agreed to: “That’s fine, I appreciate that. Can you let me know either way? I’ve been straight up with you, I expect the same thing.” However, when we rang back a short time later as part of the cross-checking of his story, suddenly he didn’t want any further contact at all. 32, INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006

INVESTIGATE: You said you went to school with Barbara? SCARBOROUGH: Ian, I have said all I’m going to say on the subject. I’ve told you the truth, I’ve given you the information you asked for, and that is the end of it. I am not making any more comment on this and I would rather you not contact me. INVESTIGATE: Philip, you said you wanted your name kept out of it, we arranged – “Click” went the receiver, as Scarborough hung up.

carborough went to Glenfield College in Auckland. We were unable to find a record of Barbara Cochran attending there, and her family live in Northland. Nor was Scarborough’s ex-wife aware of her husband’s “long time friend” and school pal, Cochran. The Scarboroughs separated last September. “Barbara Cochran? No, I don’t know the name at all and I know all his personal family friends and everything else and no, I don’t know her.” We explained that Cochran was now his staff-discount nominee, apparently by virtue of their years-long friendship. “Oh really? Well I don’t know her, I’ve never heard of her and we’ve been together for 15 years!” We asked if she’d noticed Cochran’s purple-blue Mercedes SLK 230 ever. “A purple Mercedes? That’s nice for her! Must be making a lot of money, so what does she want to be on staff travel for?” We had to admit, it was a good question. And Scarborough’s alibi about his “good friend” – whom he’d generously gifted a year’s worth of virtually-free air travel to courtesy of the taxpayer – was looking shakier by the minute. Nor was Barbara Cochran herself prepared to deviate from the agreed story that she and Scarborough were simply old mates, when Investigate rang her on a warm summer morning on the French Riviera. “He has told you everything there is to know. That’s exactly how it is. We’ve been friends for years on end, and we’re great friends, and that’s it. And that’s probably all you need to know. I wouldn’t go any further with doing anything because I’ll get my lawyer involved and have you up for defamation if you go putting my name or anything out there.” INVESTIGATE: “Where did you first meet?” Cochran: “I’m not answering any further questions, I’m on a holiday –” INVESTIGATE: “Barbara, we’re going to publish. Where did you first meet?” Cochran: “You cannot go publishing my name in anything! I’ll take you to court and have you up for defamation.” It appears that the agreed script between Scarborough and Cochran was a very short one, as neither could answer where they first met or what school they shared. Our hotel source had given us a couple of other tips about Barbara Cochran. One of those centred on a prominent South Island businessman on the boards of several major companies. The man was described as “one of ‘Isobella’s’ regulars” at the hotel. “He also flies her down…to ‘entertain’ his new wife while he travels on business. He’s supposedly ‘rich and famous’ in NZ and is involved in many NZ businesses.” We rang the company director, who denied having a rela-

Photography: Jyn Meyer

tionship with Cochran but admitted she was a friend of his wife’s and had flown down to visit them on flights he’d paid for on his own Air New Zealand account. He told Investigate Cochran grew up in Whangarei, a fact we subsequently confirmed with members of Cochran’s family. There were a number of questions the magazine was aching to put to Barbara Cochran, now that we could establish neither she nor Scarborough had been “straight up” about the nature of their relationship and its advantageous taxpayer-subsidised financial arrangement. But this time, when we rang Cochran back, her 29 year old client was the only one doing the talking. “I might know more than you think,” Mr X ventured in justifying why he and not Barbara was taking the call. “In that case,” we asked, “did you pay for all of her air travel on Air New Zealand to get to the south of France, or is the taxpayer funding it?” There was a prolonged period of heavy breathing on the other end of the line, before he stammered out an answer. “Ah, no, look, ah, listen, as I said, we’re on holiday. If you want us to come and see you when we’re back in a couple of weeks we’ll come in with our lawyer or ourselves and we’ll have a chat with you.” “No, I’m running a story and what we’re trying to do is give Barbara a chance to set the record straight.” There was more heavy breathing. “Oh, geez,” he laboured, “Nah, you’ve got to wait, we can’t do it now.”

When we pointed out the magazine had enough information to go to press with, Mr X replied, “Oh, geez. Give us a couple of minutes and ring us back…I’ll have a talk to her.” We rang back, but Mr X said Barbara had decided not to comment further until her return to New Zealand. He also declined to identify himself. “I’ll sit down [in Auckland] and give you every detail of me and every little bit of information you want to see, in two minutes. I’ve got nothing to hide!” “Oh, good,” we ventured, “tell us your name.” “Eh?” “Tell us your name.” “Oh, if you were so good you’d find out my name, wouldn’t ya?” “Well if you were so straight up you’d tell us.” “Most guys who ring me like this I’d kick them around the carpark for an hour for something to do, but I’ve grown out of that…are you an ex-cop that’s too fat to beat the streets now?” Cost of phone call to south of France, $12. Cost of time spent shadowboxing with Barbara Cochran’s boyfriend, $80. Entertainment value, priceless. Enlightening and informative, however? Not even close. We should point out that even if Cochran’s airfares are mostly on the nominee system, that does not mean she has done anything illegal. Scarborough is correct when he says he can give nominee rights to anyone he likes. The key issue at the heart of the story is not the sexual peccadilloes of those involved; it is whether the system of nominee INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006, 33

“A purple Mercedes? That’s nice for her! Must be making a lot of money, so what does she want to be on staff travel for?”

fares for prostitutes has been, or remains, a widespread practice within the struggling airline. After all, it is government money propping Air New Zealand up, and hundreds of jobs are affected by inefficiencies. If prostitutes are giving sex to Air New Zealand executives in return for cheap flights, it raises questions about the fringe benefits the company provides. Another “courtesan” approached by us confirmed she knew of the discount Air New Zealand scheme, but complained, “no one’s nominated me yet!”.

o as well as the taxpayer-funded fares themselves, there is the other issue we emphasized earlier: the publicity downside for an airline that puts “working girls” on its planes at cheap rates where they can practice their pitch on a captive audience. Certainly this seemed to be a concern of the hotel executive who originally tipped us off: “I resent these women, and their FBC buddies, treating Hotel staff like crap while they whore their way through NZ and international corporate high-flyers.” For its part, Air New Zealand won’t discuss individual cases but has confirmed nominees of an employee with more than 12 months’ service can have “unlimited” national and international travel at special rates. Airline spokeswoman Rosie Paul refused to specify the dollar value of those rates, saying they were determined on a zone basis. Auckland to Wellington might be two zones, Auckland to Christchurch three, and so on. Paul did say that the fee charged to nominees “for travel covers the cost of consumables for the flight”. But if that’s the case, why are ordinary airfares much higher in price? The airline’s policy forbids the use of nominee airfares for business purposes, saying travel must be “leisure” related.

34, INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006

Paul adds that the nominee fares are provided on a “no-guaranteed-travel” basis, in other words if a paying customer turns up the nominee will be bumped off until the next available flight. “Firstly, as the policy identifies, staff travel is not a right or term/condition of employment and staff are warned of the consequences of abuse. It goes without saying that Air New Zealand would take a dim view of any employee using the system for commercial advantage. In an instance where that was proven to have happened, the employee may permanently lose their staff travel privileges and put their employment with the company at risk. “Secondly, staff travel incurs no cost to the company. As previously stated to you, staff can only use seats that have not been booked by revenue paying passengers and they are not guaranteed a seat until the flight closes. So, for example, if a staff member booked staff travel and turned up to get on their flight to LA and all the seats had been sold, they would have to wait for a later service that had spare capacity.” While our hotel source’s information proved remarkably accurate, and we were able to successfully question a number of other clients on the strength of it, the executive did get it partially wrong on the girls being able to fly First or Business class as nominees: the nominee policy says upgrades to higher class tickets are only available if traveling with the Air New Zealand sponsor at the same time. However, regardless of this technicality, the women certainly stood to make a lot of money even if traveling economy. That’s because, as their websites disclose, they charge up to two or three thousand dollars a day even for domestic travel, so gaining clients out of town could certainly be lucrative. Investigate is continuing to follow a number of leads regarding other Air New Zealand executives. Anyone with information can send an email to confidential@investigatemagazine.tv

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What the web doctor Ordered A cure for telecommunications constipation

36, INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006

Constipation: A condition of irregularity caused when the system gets too dry and muscle contractions become slow or sluggish. This can lead to irritability and obstruction. Causes include dehydration, lack of physical activity, aging and insufficient fibre, leading to problems with internal functioning. This can be cured by changing dietary habits, using laxatives, taking on more fibre, an enema or in rare cases surgery.

By Keith Newman he government, pressured from all sides to open up faster and more affordable internet access, has administered the first of a series of enemas to Telecom in the hope of relieving New Zealand’s communications constipation. No-one could say Telecom wasn’t warned. Its endless tactics to keep broadband internet prices high and access speeds low, and its rapid response to defend its patch by placing obstacles in the way of competitors, are legend. It has been a long held belief in the industry that New Zealand’s $5.3 billion telecommunications market, up from $3.6 billion in 1997, should be experiencing more robust growth. The main obstruction is Telecom’s failure to take its foot off the broadband hose. As it is Telecom makes about $2.4 billion from local service and calling revenue and only a few entrepreneurial players, including service and equipment providers, get to share the rest of the pie. Even its competitors, TelstraClear being the largest of these, end up as its customers. New Zealand squandered the enormous advantage it once had as the first nation in the world to fully deregulate its telephone industry. In 1987, a year ahead of deregulation, the government restructured and modernized the old Post Office monopoly, which it promptly renamed Telecom and sold to the highest bidder. North American carriers Ameritech and Bell Atlantic snapped up the carrier in 1990 for a mere $4.25 billion and soon the media were full of their hype about on-line shopping, hundreds of movie channels, interactive services and the important edge we would gain in the knowledge economy. Take the money and run Investment soon slowed to a trickle, as thousands of staff were sacked, our largest company was trimmed down to the bones. Some very broad assumptions were also made by the new owners; from the outset there was no clarity about who owned the copper in the ground, the telephone lines or the phone numbers. That debate still goes on. In 1997, after Ameritech and Bell Atlantic had siphoned the bulk of profits offshore and learned enough about deregulation to

gain the edge in their soon to be deregulated home patch, they exited stage left. Under new ownership and management the litigious environment, created around protecting the incumbent’s hold in the now allegedly free market, continued with true competition, particularly in data services, further stalled. The persistence of Clear Communications (later TelstraClear), saw over time a highly competitive voice market evolve and, through Vodafone, dominance in the cellular market was wrested from the giant carrier. By the late 1990s the focus turned to the high cost of internet-based services which had become critical for business and increasingly attractive to domestic users. Again we had an opportunity to lead the world but because of ‘light handed’ regulation Telecom continued to monopolise the ‘last mile’ of copper connections into businesses and homes, keeping competition at arm’s length. Reinvestment in Telecom remained at a low ebb, in fact the focus seemed to turn offshore with the 1999 loss-making acquisition of AAPT which remains to this day the oddest of all investments when its home turf was in desperate need of attention. Until recently, Telecom dictated connection speeds and imposed data caps, preventing anyone other than itself from delivering internet performance greater than 2Mbit/sec for downloading and 128kbit/sec for sending. It stated on many occasions it would only increase speeds when the market demanded, but even under a deafening roar of protest, it continued to drip feed services as saw sees fit. Gamekeeper and poacher Successive governments, either intimidated by our biggest company or blinkered by the contradiction of ‘hands-off’ regulation, in effect protected Telecom’s right to maintain the bandwidth bottleneck. Telecom continued to play gamekeeper and poacher, all but ignoring ministerial threats to play fair or face legislative changes. Most recently Telecom CEO Theresa Gattung called communications minister David Cunliffe’s bluff when he threatened regulation. Addressing analysts in Sydney in March, she said the government was far too smart to “do anything dumb” like unbundling; suggesting the broadband issue was just a “manufactured grievance” created by competitors. INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006, 37

It was during that unfortunate outburst that she also implied telecommunications companies regularly used confusion as a marketing tool to keep prices up, and that customers knew at some level they were not being straight up. When you fail to take your foot off a high pressure hose it’s inevitable there will be a leak. That leak, delivered by rogue Parliamentary messenger Michael Ryan into the hands of a senior Telecom employee on May 3rd proved the government was indeed serious. A budget announcement was planned to bring New Zealand in line with 26 other OECD nations by legislating for local loop unbundling (LLU). Once the news got out, it shaved an instant billion dollars off Telecom’s share index and while those shares are slowly bouncing back, Telecom now has to rethink what it means to operate in the unconstrained market promised to the country for nearly 20-years. Strong intervention in the telecommunications market would, for first the first time, literally kick start a new era of competition. Telecom would be required by law to allow its rivals to install their equipment at its exchanges. Their latest generation DSL2+ DSLAMs are capable of delivering download speeds up to 24Mbit/sec. The government says the existing 128kbit/sec cap on upload speeds will have to go. Telecom will have to open up its books and technology roadmap, and separate out its wholesale and retail divisions so the Commerce Commission can monitor its compliance. The government would renegotiate the Kiwi share (Telecommunications Service Obligation), put in place when it sold Telecom, as an incentive to improve broadband access in rural areas. There may also be action to prevent Telecom starting price wars to keep its customers. Devil in the details As several players have pointed out, the ‘devil is in the details’ and it is imperative for the industry and broadband customers that the technical and commercial framework of the legislation is rock solid and unambiguous.

Still waiting after all these years Keith Newman has been writing about technology for 20-years, with a particular focus on telecommunications, the internet and the shift toward interactive multimedia. He has been an ardent internet user since the bulletin board days of the late 1980s. A decade of painfully slow dial-up modem speeds forced him to subscribe, first to an ihug satellite-based service, then in the late-90s to Telecom’s Jetstream ‘full speed’ service. He was promised at least 2Mbit/sec – 5Mbit/

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At least 26 OECD countries have been there and done that, and have frameworks and legislation in place. How difficult would it be to cut and paste, then refine that framework based on local requirements, rather than attempting an entire rewrite of the law? Unbundling has been spoken about for many years but was first raised as a serious option in late 2003. Despite industry pressure the Commerce Commission, and newly appointed Telecommunications Commissioner Douglas Webb, favoured giving Telecom another chance. However, Telecom though continued ‘marketing deceptions’, inflating its broadband figures by including 128kbit/sec speeds when the global consensus was a minimum of 256kbit/ sec and in some cases 2Mbit/sec or 10Mbit/sec. It took until mid-2004 for Telecom to revise its minimum to 256kbit/sec after an ultimatum from the Commerce Commission to connect 250,000 new broadband customers by the end of 2005. A third of those customers (83,333) had to be connected by wholesaling to other internet service providers (ISPs). Telecom failed to deliver, lamely arguing it believed its target was 50,000 wholesale connections, or a third of its total growth over the period. Telecom had not only made it uneconomical for competitors to wholesale services from its network, it had kept such tight data caps on accounts that ISPs and their customers they had to pay a huge premium if they were to stream or download any significant music, film or rich data. Less than a year ago most ISPs couldn’t get 2Mbit/sec download speeds from Telecom and were restricted to upload speeds of 128kbit/sec. By May 2006 New Zealand had an estimated 300,000 broadband subscribers, or around 8 percent of the population, including 100,000 customers outside of Telecom’s Xtra network. Impossibly optimistic All of this made a mockery of the ambitious talk that New Zealand could gain a top place in the OECD broadband figures by 2007, and in its Digital Strategy goals of most residen-

sec download speeds with a 600Mb data cap for $59 a month. It was expensive but he could be on the Internet and use his phone at the same time. Working in the publishing industry however meant he often went over his data cap dealing with large files, graphics and photographs. One month he and his son experimented with international radio stations and song downloads resulting in a $500 excess charge. Seeking a higher data cap he was informed his ‘full speed’ account had been grandfathered’ after Telecom divided its Jetstream offerings into lower speed 128Mbit/sec, 256Mbit/sec and 2Mbit/sec accounts. Even recently could go for a 3.5Mbit/ sec account with a 10Gb cap, and pay .95 cents more but for a slower account than he had. He stubbornly resists, waiting for true competition to deliver a saner option.

tial homes to have 5Mbit/s broadband that year. The further suggestion that this might reach 50Mbit/sec by 2010 seemed impossibly optimistic. Ahead of the LLU announcement, government pressure forced reluctant concessions from Telecom after TelstraClear won a Commerce Commission ruling. In December 2005 it was determined it should be allowed unconstrained access to the full speed of Telecom’s network at average retail prices less a suitable margin. That should have given Telecom’s largest competitor access to 7.6 Mbit/sec speed services at $20.47 per customer. However Telecom contested this, and rather than prolong the debate TelstraClear caved in to a 3.5Mbit/sec compromise. The new deal was immediately passed on to Telecom high end account holders who were recently upgraded from 2Mbit/ sec to 3.5Mbit/sec download speeds. The controversial upload speed remained at 128kbit/sec unless you were a premium account holder paying $80-$100 a month, in which case you would get 512kbit/sec upload speeds. The new tougher regulatory environment will be outlined in the Telecommunications Amendment Bill, expected to be introduced into the House possibly before August, with the legislative process continuing through into 2007. The Commerce Commission would then need to be given new powers and rules to enforce the Act, which in itself could take time. Full consumer benefits may not be evident until election year 2008. Hopeful competitors are promising internet surfing will power up to between 10-24Mbit/sec, finally bringing the country in line with the streamlined services enjoyed in many other countries. Meanwhile the pressure is now on to revisit the TelstraClear determination, forcing Telecom to lift its boot even further off the broadband hose ahead of local loop legislation. At the end of May, CallPlus and ihug were leading the charge for unconstrained bitstream (UBS) access believing the Commerce Commission would now deliver on its original promise of 7.5Mbit/ sec. This they believed could happen as early as October opening the way for faster sub-$30 broadband accounts. Telecom in top shape Despite market set backs – its market value was $12 billion last year down to $8.8 billion at one valuation in May 2006 – Telecom is in the perfect position for a quick recovery. It made $806 million tax-paid profit for 2005-2006 year and invested $585 million back into its network and systems in the 2004-2005 year, and expects to spend $610 in the current year. This is part of an ongoing $1.4 billion investment in its next generation (NGN) network platform designed for more efficient delivery of voice, data and all forms of multimedia content, which further confirms it is highly geared for long term profitability. Now Telecom is clearly trying to reinvent itself, or at least its public persona, as the nice, friendly, helpful telephone company. In a recent address to the Telecommunications Users Association (TUANZ) Theresa Gattung insisted Telecom was committed to a fair game, and not going to be obstructive, attempt to turn back time, mount rearguard action or hide behind legalistic actions. It would act swiftly, she said, to come up with invigorating wholesale arrangements, and true to Telecom’s glossy charter would provide a consistent service delivery experience for everyone concerned, launch new intermediate products and

Mark Rushworth, CEO of internet service provider Ihug

“Ihug CEO Mark Rushworth is prepared to spend $200 million over the next two years on rolling out an alternative network which he could wholesale to other smaller ISPs. Like Orcon, he’s keen on ‘port sharing’ to quickly get the widest coverage”

offer greater transparency and communication. A team of Telecom executives is evaluating a faster roll-out of interactive ‘next generation’ broadband services based on ADSL2+ and simpler, easy-to-use services reflecting the convergence of fixed and mobile services. This would include voice over Internet (VoIP) technology to deliver more affordable phone services to business and residential customers. INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006, 39

In the broadband basement New Zealand remains a digital ditherer, down with the sluggards in the bottom quarter of the OECD broadband penetration statistics at 22nd place for the third year running, a dire position confirmed in an independent survey by InternetNZ. While our internet access cost was considered reasonable, restrictive data caps limited the effectiveness of our high speed access. We were only saved from being the compost at the bottom of the heap by the recent move to free up wholesale 3.5Mbit/sec speeds currently being implemented by many ISPs. A total of 2586 residential and business broadband packages from 388 ISPs over the 26 countries were analysed in the InternetNZ survey, with data from early May confirming we were indeed ranked at 22nd place. We had more data caps than any other country and less choice for broadband access than Australia, Ireland and Britain. Our low upload speeds also came in for criticism. As an ITC nation the annual IDC Information Society Index ranked us at number 17 of 53 countries in 2005 but when our low levels of broadband were taken into account we slipped back to position 28. Australia was at 7th place, the US 13th and the UK placed at 19th. The Information Society Index takes into account computer, telecommunications, internet

New networks in wings So who’s going to benefit from unbundling? Certainly TelstraClear, ihug, Slingshot and CallPlus, Orcon, Maxnet, Quicksilver, Iconz and the dozens of smaller Internet service providers who are eager to deliver new speeds and services to their customers. Because of the high cost of creating national coverage there are widespread plans to co-operate by ‘port sharing’ or ‘credit swapping’ on each others equipment. One consortium of investors, which wants to remain under the radar for the moment, is planning to create an independent wholesale network by installing its equipment at Telecom’s exchanges. Other bandwidth wholesalers with independent city and regional networks; Broadcast Communications (BCL), TelstraClear, CityNet, Vector, Inspire and FXnet and others, will also look at alliances so their customers also get direct nationwide access to the loop. Also expect a new round of acquisitions and partnerships as the bigger players seek to consolidate their position, their customer base and their skill sets anticipating this new era of completion. You need deep pockets to create a national overlay network. TelstraClear has to date spent $1.5 billion in furthering the network and business it acquired from Clear Communications and Saturn Communications in Christchurch and Wellington. 40, INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006

and social aspects, and combines a country’s ranking in these areas. The internet index was based on the number of web users, e-commerce maturity, home and mobile web users. Again the not so magic number; we were placed at 22nd. Earlier in May the 2006 World Competitiveness Scoreboard of 61 national and regional economies saw New Zealand fall from place 16 to, you guessed it – 22nd place with the footnote ‘must improve broadband’. All of this makes a sham of the government goal to have us in the top half of the OECD figures by 2007 and the Digital Strategy promises to have 5Mbit/sec DSL available across the country that year, possibly soaring to 50Mbit/sec by 2010. Under the old regime at least, those goals were impossibly optimistic. Communications minister David Cunnliffe agrees we are at a real risk of being left behind. “No broadband means no play. Do not pass ‘go’. Do not collect a first world income. Do not expect the next generation of the best and brightest to live in New Zealand.” There’s no question we are a highly technically literate and innovative nation, with reams of ideas and inventions to share with the world. We are ideally placed, as we have been told so many times, to take our place in the information economy with only a high business tax rates, crippling compliance costs and access to premium broadband services impeding our progress.

It has 1400 staff, and been battling for a decade to get equitable access to New Zealand homes and businesses. After the false hope of 2001 when it promised a major expansion of its cable network to reach 65 per cent of New Zealand homes and 80 per cent of businesses within five years, it can now finish the job by co-locating its DSLAMS on Telecom’s network. TelstraClear spokesman Matthew Bolland admits it’s been a ‘pretty ugly’ environment for investment, and many other players, he’s waiting for the rules of the new game to firm up before announcing any financial commitment. “When you’ve been fighting every inch of the way as we have, you are very aware the only reason these things are happening is because the government has intervened.” Caution over three d’s One of the options available to consumers is to cut the wires altogether. Vodafone and Telecom are both pushing 3G mobile phone services which deliver higher speeds for data and even videoconferencing. While mobile is a major global trend the local cost is still outrageously high for internet surfing. Wireless access however remains an attractive local loop alternative. Woosh, which has been in the game since 2001 when it was a fixed wire replacement, now has mobility as well through

plug-in cards and is offering voice. Its speeds are about to ramp up from 1.6Mbit/sec to 3Mbit/sec and another technology upgrade promises 14Mbit/sec speeds by the end of 2007. Woosh CEO Bob Smith admits unbundling is a challenge to his business but while they’re sorting out local loop legislation over the next couple of years he’ll be aggressively expanding coverage beyond the major cities. When the details are sorted out he’s keen to put in copper access equipment at Telecom exchanges to compliment the Woosh wireless network or partner with others to get broader coverage. Unbundling has also come a little late for CallPlus Director Malcolm Dick who’s chosen high speed WiMax wireless technology as a direct challenge to Telecom’s copper. Ideally though he’d like a mix and match, so he’s tagged some of his initial $200 million investment to access the Telecom ‘last mile’. He remains cautious, recalling his experience trying to interconnect a competing telco in Australia where Telstra publicly described his operation as “a germ invading the nooks and crannies of their tariff”. He says incumbents typically use the three ds, ‘defer, deny, delay’. Meanwhile Orcon has announced it plans to spend over $30 million in the next five years building a new wholesale ADSL2+ network which will include an IPTV service capable of delivering over 50 channels which it claims will be launched in late 2007. Ihug CEO Mark Rushworth is prepared to spend $200 million over the next two years on rolling out an alternative network which he could wholesale to other smaller ISPs. Like Orcon, he’s keen on ‘port sharing’ to quickly get the widest coverage. Rushworth however believes there are only two or three players who can afford to create their own networks. He says the ‘credit swapping’ model became the de-facto way of doing

things in Australia when Telstra refused to allow more than one provider into its exchanges at a time. “Optus would go into one exchange and someone else would put five cabinets in another and sell on that capacity. It certainly forced the industry to work together.” Rushworth is hopeful CallPlus, TelstraClear and ihug for example can operate similarly. “It makes a the roll out a lot quicker – we’re certainly keen to work that way so we don’t end up jumping on each others toes.” Internet service provider Iconz was forced to back off a plan to get into the digital video-on-demand business by Telecom’s ‘absurdly expensive’ access charges. If the market had opted for unbundling back then it would probably be delivering a service by now. While the technology and the business case were there, John Russell who was research and development manager at the time, said no-one would develop “interesting, new and innovative content when they can’t push it out to the customers or let the customers interact with it at a reasonable speed”.

Growing global demand for triple play services

out the OECD continued to increase during 2005 from 136 million in June to 158 million by December with growth holding steady at 15 percent compared to New Zealand’s dire 8 percent. An April 2006 analysis of 87 providers in the 30 OECD countries found bundled video, voice and internet access were available from 48 providers in 23 countries by September 2005. Socalled ‘quad-play’ (including mobile voice) was available in 10 OECD countries.

So why all this fuss about Internet speeds? Well the local loop is the onramp for the information superhighway which was the focus of so much hype a decade ago, and what travels down that digital highway is changing business, industry, communities, governments and our home entertainment options. For telecommunications carriers plain old internet access and phone calls are no longer enough – to grow revenue they must add value for their subscribers to keep them loyal. Local loop unbundling stimulates competition between carriers, and service and content providers, leading to increased investment. The smart ISPs are already reinventing themselves. They’ve added new billing systems and server technology to identify, deliver and charge for a wide range of rich content and services such as on-demand movies or TV programming. The number of broadband subscribers through-

Accelerating change Now that LLU is looming Telecommunications Commissioner Douglas Webb is urging Telecom to work openly and accelerate the change process rather than waiting for the fine print. He believes we’re at an important ‘tipping point’ in moving from a hands-off system to much firmer "hand on the shoulder" regulation. The Internet Society of New Zealand (InternetNZ), like other industry groups, has become more outspoken this year about the broadband bottleneck. Executive director Keith Davidson remains concerned Telecom may still take a defensive approach, complying with the letter of the law but not the

Broadband boom leaves Kiwis waiting The challenge for developed nations has been to create a legal framework for local loop unbundling (LLU) without getting in the way of innovation or disadvantaging competitors. In 2006 New Zealand remained one of the few OECD nations, alongside Mexico and Switzerland, yet to legislate for unbundling. Most European Union states had introduced regulatory frameworks, although Switzerland has faced a legal challenge which held this back to 2007. While the US hasn’t technically unbundled, the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) does require

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incumbents to lease local loops to competitors at pre-set wholesale prices. British Telecom is often held up as a poster child for LLU but had to be slapped into line by the government before it conceded that it too must share access to the last mile. In November 1999, the regulator Ofcom stated that LLU was necessary to introduce competition for higher bandwidth services such as DSL and video on demand and that this must happen on cost-based prices. As at February 2006, BT had unbundled 300,000 local loop connections. Ofcom had been hopeful a million connections could have been unbundled by June 2006. Meanwhile BT is countering the competitive threat to its own business by upgrading 5,300 exchanges and upping the speed of its service to existing DSL customers to a maximum of 8Mbit/ sec for those close to exchanges and 4-6Mbit/ sec for those further out. Currently BT offers a 2Mbit/sec service with a 10Gb cap for about $NZ60. If you pay another 10 pounds the cap is removed. Since unbundling its revenues are up 6 percent and its profits up 5 percent. New Zealand-based TelstraClear is in a unique position having been on both sides of the fence. Its Australian parent Telstra was late to the deregulation game and is still smarting from the changes. Almost half its shares were sold off when the market was opened up in 1997. Since 2000, when unbundling was decreed, around 150 competitors have homed in on various aspects of its monopoly reducing market share from 80 per cent to 62 percent. The pressure is mounting for Telstra to reinvent itself as a more streamlined and aggressive player – it’s in the midst of shaving 12,000 jobs from the payroll and integrating its voice and data networks into a single IP-based infrastructure. This puts the Australian Federal Government in an invidious position. It’s pushing for greater competition in the market while preparing to sell off its majority (51.8 percent) grip on Telstra before the end of 2006, and in the process watching the share value diminish drastically. Competing carriers Optus, iiNet, Primus and others mostly have their own cabinets and racks of DSLAMs within Telstra exchanges or have struck on partnerships with other providers to share access for the broadest possible coverage. There’s definitely a healthier competitive market at the result of unbundling but for some that’s still not enough. Australian-based telecommunications analyst Paul Budde suggests Telecom should take a lesson from Telstra which also faced the wrath of the government, the regulator and the share market when it took an ‘over my dead body’ attitude in a bid to maintain its monopoly.

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Budde says it’ll be interesting to see how Telstra responds to trans-Tasman regulatory harmonisation, suggesting there’ll need to be far-reaching changes to its behaviour and attitudes in Australia. “While Telstra continues to fight against operational separation in Australia I would not be surprised if Telecom were to take the future into its own hands rather than waiting for government-initiated solutions.” He says Telecom needs to show it can win in a competitive environment as opposed to a monopoly. Although Australia significantly increased its ranking in the OECD for broadband penetration (from 21st place a year ago to 17th place) in the most recent figures, James Packer, the executive chairman of Publishing & Broadcasting Ltd, recently slagged the country’s internet speeds, and Telstra's pricing plans and download restrictions, as embarrassing. He told a digital marketing summit in Sydney that the Federal government and regulators needed to step in quickly because Australian media companies in particular needed faster speeds to meet the ‘surging demand’ for video downloads of news and entertainment, including episodes of TV shows. It’s clear Telstra still begrudgingly shares its network and, flexing its muscle to let competitors know it’s still the big boy on the block, recently it pushed up its line charges to wholesalers from $22 to $30 per line per month clawing back some of the profit competitors are taking from its infrastructure. The internet is providing richer services such as Google Earth, which allows you to look at satellite images and ground maps down to street level. Increasingly software is hosted away from the computer and accessed via the web. For true interactivity, powerful real time gaming experiences, video conferencing and professional level VoIP or voice-based services you need high speed, robust access and quality of service (QoS), something only Telecom can provide in New Zealand currently. Remote diagnostics With affordable true broadband, resources and applications could be shared across the country with huge savings for the health system for example, eliminating paperwork and duplication of effort. People in outlying areas could be remotely diagnosed by specialists from major hospital, surgeons could consult by teleconferencing, X-rays could be sent instantly and waiting lists reduced significantly. The same principles could be applied to education, government, science and research, industry and commerce, arts and creativity. By leveraging improved speeds, the tyranny of distance,

“Soon you’ll be able to watch what you want, when you want and where you want but broadband needs to become economically viable or you prevent that becoming reality”

Intel's government and telecommunication business development manager Sean Casey

the greatest obstacle to our global competitiveness, is removed. Free and open communications using the latest interactive design and collaboration tools can open the door for amazing new partnerships. One way or another broadband touches every industry and household. There are now thousands of sites where music, movies, and TV programmes can be legally downloaded, and a host of niche channels that can be streamed to your computer and or modern flat screen TV. Free Internet in France has come up with a business model that has a feel of the future about it. Providing its own equipment on France Telecom’s local loop it is delivering a 20Mbit/sec broadband pipe. Subscribers pay no line rental and get fast internet, phone services, free calling within France and 14 other countries plus 100 TV channels, and video on demand at $4 a pop. This comes with a wireless router with a hard drive to store content and you can buy a mobile wifi

handset for calls in your home which also works at external wifi hotspots. The entire bundle has no data cap and cost $NZ57 a month. HomeCoice in the United Kingdom and Fast Web in Italy offer similar deals and Yahoo Broadband in Japan delivers triple play services at 100Mbit/sec speeds. In Australia ABC and Disney are offering the latest episodes of Lost and Desperate Housewives on their web site the next day for $1.99 each, from May these were free for streaming if you don’t mind the ads. Programme your own TV The TV download service is available to anyone, including Kiwi viewers, and further illustrates just how far behind the game we are. The only way this kind of service makes any sense however, is for subscribers to have fast broadband with very high data caps or flat rate access and that’s the challenge Telecom and its competitors face over the next few years.

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While e-commerce, the business of purchasing goods online, has been a relatively slow burn, it’s now smoldering at such a rate that even the on-to-it analysts have been caught off guard. Ovum analyst Richard Holway was ‘blown away’ by data released in May showing Internet shopping now accounts for 10 percent of retail sales in the UK. Around $NZ90 billion was expected to be spent online in 2006 – a 56 percent increase over 2005. Another, $NZ60 billion would be spent online on insurance and gambling. A further $NZ90 billion in store sales were being influenced by research or price comparisons made on the Internet. Holway, who has a reputation for extrapolating future trends says the ‘mass market phase’ has just begun, and suggests 50 percent of sales may be made on the internet by 2010. All that on-line window shopping and skimming through electronic catalogues requires instant access and fast refresh times. And while Intel’s government and telecommunication business development manager Sean Casey, is well aware of all the fancy new entertainment-based applications enabled by broadband, he’s more concerned about its impact on our economic development. He’s part of a team worldwide who lobby governments to lift their game ‘beyond the processor’ in the global digital playing field and says LLU is an ideal opportunity for New Zealand to catch up.

He says its critical to be digitally connected and broadband is essential if we are to grow our economy and maintain competitive advantage. Our biggest threat he suggests is coming from emerging markets, including third world nations, which are going straight to leading edge technology. Rather than struggling through legacy systems they’re part of ‘the leapfrog effect’, jumping straight from ‘greenfields’ into high-end PCs and broadband. “They recognise the importance broadband delivers in educating citizens and the place technology can play in improving their economic outlook and are embracing this with open arms.” Casey says there are a raft of technologies waiting in the wings, including new services such as video on demand and IPTV but it’ll only happen in countries where there’s affordable broadband. “Soon you’ll be able to watch what you want, when you want and where you want but broadband needs to become economically viable or you prevent that becoming reality.” Some people will never use up even a 600Mb data cap. That cap however acts as a disincentive for the kind of exploring that might change their experience of the internet and how it can be used. Accounts with 10Gb or even 20Gb caps are relatively new to New Zealand and certainly ample for most uses but if we are to seriously consider video on demand or the regular music or movie downloads any kind of cap is an impediment.

“spirit of open access and equivalent wholesale treatment”. He says New Zealand needs to have a serious commitment to reform that goes way beyond local loop unbundling if it is to address the deficit. "If New Zealand does not resolve this broadband uptake problem, our economy will slide leaving us down the bottom of the developed world with Mexico, Turkey and Eastern Europe. That will be a loss for business, a loss for consumers and a loss for New Zealand." Those who are long enough in the tooth to recall even half the promises made about telecommunications since 1987 will be forgiven for greeting Telecom’s alleged attitude adjustment with some skepticism. Will there suddenly be a claim that there’s no room in Telecom cabinets for co-location of DSLAMs and related equipment? If alternative cabinets are required will Telecom oppose this through the Resource Management Act? Will local authorities allow the RMA to become an obstacle anyway? Will competitors need a separate door to Telecom exchanges? Can they have access without a Telecom person being present? Does the exchange need a partition between competing cabinets? Do ISPs need to provide their own power and air conditioning? If the latest DSLAMs only cost $45 per port would it be fair for Telecom to charge $150 installation fees? Will Telecom avoid doing anything to help its competitors

until legislation forces its hand or will it begin offering more attractive deals in the interim to prevent customer churn before LLU ground zero, sometime in 2008? There’s also the connection ratio – in other words how many users can share a single broadband link. British Telecom has a ratio of 50:1 for home users and 20:1 for business lines. It is alleged Telecom’s ratio may be as high as 140:1 which may mean the speed and quality of service competitors are hoping for may not be possible. If wholesale prices are set too close to LLU costs new investors may also be deterred. No-one can know for sure until the real turf wars begin, access is opened to the last mile and full disclosure is provided to Telecom’s new wholesale customer-competitors. Another obstacle facing new players is a significant shortage of technicians, engineers and customer service people who have skills in installation and maintenance and network repairs. Telecom has exclusive contracts with Downer and Transfield and TelstraClear has a deal with Cabletalk to look after their networks. The other major player GDC recently went belly up. In the meantime, there’s not been a lot of industry training and many of our best engineers and technicians have been lured overseas by lucrative contracts, further reducing the skills pool. The only way forward is for the new players to find a common third party to handle all their installations and mainte-

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nance or sub-contract Telecom’s contractors, which may defeat the purpose of unbundling. More fibre in diet Today the core telephone network out to Telecom’s exchanges, or the cabinets that deliver DSL services, uses fibre optics cabling to transmits data over lightwaves. The next leg of the journey – the last mile or local loop – typically uses copper wires to carry phone and internet services to home and business. Nortel New Zealand managing director Rob Spray says in the new environment a lot of telcos are by passing the exchange completely and taking fibre direct to small street cabinets on the curb and shortening the copper loops. This he says makes unbundling the loop physically difficult. Already there’s a major regulatory argument brewing across the Tasman, and in other parts of the world, with new network investors fearing they’ll be cut out of the loop if fibre gets any closer. “They’re saying unbundling the local loop from the exchange is yesterday’s argument. They’re taking fibre to the curb, to the business and eventually to homes and you don’t unbundle that unless you start unbundling wavelengths,” says Spray. In Australia those investing in fibre want a safe harbour for the next 10-years, and a promise their competitors won’t be given access. They’re threatening to cut back their investment unless the regulator acts in their favour. However Mark Rushworth, chief executive of ihug is skeptical of suggestions Telecom is trying to bypass the copper loop with its next generation network (NGN). “What is happening in some built up areas and new subdivisions is not necessarily an indication of what will happen out in the suburbs of most cities and towns. A lot of those next generation cabinets will still be situated in existing exchanges – it just doesn’t make economic sense unless Telecom uses this tactic as a defensive blocking strategy.” Rushworth’s ‘market intelligence’ is that even if the current 440 or so Telecom exchanges are reduced to 200 over the next year or so, Telecom’s NGN will still give 70 percent coverage for local loop investors. However don’t expect instant changes, the benefits are likely to filter down with most activity occurring at first in the high density areas where the business case; read ‘the quickest profits’, makes most sense to he new networks. Attitude adjustment pivotal We shouldn’t be surprised that Telecom has prioritised high shareholder returns over reinvestment in its network and getting us into the top third of the OECD broadband elite. It’s the nature of business to make profit but if your service is lousy, your goods imperfect or the competitor is offering a better deal there is a price to pay. Telecom’s goal, up until now at least, has been to drive costs down and keep margins up. Its good corporate citizen face has been more about marketing and high profile tax write-offs, even if they are worthy charitable causes and arts and theatre sponsorship. The market however is about to be sold a new-look Telecom under new chairman Wayne Boyd with rumours of other management and ownership changes ahead. There’s a major challenge ahead to win back public trust and confidence. It must act rapidly to improve its service levels and the wait time on its help desk. One recent report showed there were more customer complaints about faults in 2006 than any time in the previous three years and it was taking two weeks and more to sort them

out. Many complaints resulted from winter dampness when old or decaying copper particularly in suburban and outlying areas again proved it was well past its use-by date. Most ISPs, and others keen to invest in the new network environment, are watching one thing, Telecom’s attitude. Curiously, almost as if a divine hand had moved, within days of the government LLU announcement Telecom’s Xtra network faced a series of ‘intermittent internet and email outages’. The fault was blamed on ‘a fault with power supply’ then ‘a faulty load balancer’ and other unstated issues which prevented customers from accessing websites and email. Despite claims all customers were now back on-line the fact was many were still having problems. Outage shows true colours A customer service spokesperson explained outages were a fact of life on the internet, which was itself ‘a best efforts’ service. “ISPs can’t guarantee a continuous un-interrupted service,” said customer services manager, Kelly Moore. That statement alone would have raised a few eyebrows. By the end of May Telecom’s gracious offer to refund effected customers with the equivalent of four days access or a measly $3.25 was turned into another bah humbug move. It sent an email to all its 600,000 Xtra broadband and dial up customers apologising for the outage but said they now needed to prove they were eligible for the refund. A spokesman estimated about 90,000 customers might qualify griping that this had the potential to cost it around $300,000. There was no mention of the thousands of dollars in lost business and the major inconvenience some customers were still facing weeks after the so-called ‘four day’ outage. Then days after the LLU announcement ISPs received notification from Telecom that it would be enforcing “an average aggregate data limit per customer” and charging a premium if overall upload traffic exceeded a specified monthly data cap. While this provision has been in the small print since 2004 it hadn’t previously been enforced. Ihug, which had been offering free upload speeds on most of its accounts, would have to add upload cost to customer’s download data caps from July 1st. It has asked to government to exclude such charges in the new regulations. Maybe the billion dollar share shake-up is a good thing, especially if the new wave of investors are prepared to take a longer term view, sorting out shortcomings in mainstream New Zealand before hyping up grandiose futuristic plans in wealthier areas or trying to compete offshore. An optimist might also suggest the new legislation will force a culture shift away from the fortress mentality, to a more co-operative, creative mindset that works for the good of the nation. Telecom has been ‘squeezing the sponge’ as one commentator so aptly put it, but the sponge and the patience of competitors and customers with its anti-competitive attitude have run dry. Internet Service Providers Association (ISPANZ) vice president Scott Bartlett is warning ISPs to sort out all their issues, complaints, questions and technology requirements, before the new legislation is drafted and implemented or the process could take two to three years. “It could be disastrous, let’s be honest Telecom outguns us on the regulatory front 10-1. They’re basically a law firm that happen to own a network.” Things have been gummed up for too long, unless there’s evidence of the new attitude beyond the sweet talk, it may be time for another dose of ‘government issue’ laxatives. INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006, 45

“A trial of ADSL technology, which involves the transmission of high-speed data services over copper wire, is underway in suburban Wellington. We are also studying the future role of fibre to the curb. Overseas experience is indicating that the cost of deploying these technologies is likely to be lower than hybrid fibre/coax cable; in particular, fibre to the curb holds out the promise of significant reductions in maintenance costs in the longer term…it has become apparent that fast data is likely to show stronger growth in the immediate future than video, which is consistent with our projections at the time the HFC rollout was planned. In view of this, FirstMedia is to be restructured, with a focus on servicing existing customers,” Telecom chief executive Rod Deane, in Telecom's First Quarter shareholder report, September 1997. Toying with the future New Zealanders are thoroughly fed up with being sold souped up superhighway scenarios when the reality in many cases is closer to coaxing tired horses along dirt roads. While ‘the Xtraordinaries’ beam in at gigabyte speeds in their sci-fi wagon, pushing a neutered internet service at maximum speeds of 3.5Mbit/ sec, many in rural and outlying areas still struggle with dial up and low end broadband or can’t get an efficient service at all. In 1990 Telecom claimed a 'broadband" ISDN (integrated services digital network) could be available to all homes and businesses by 1995. It never happened. In 1995 it promised its First Media fibre-coaxial cable network, would deliver movies and fast internet to 300,000 New Zealand homes. After passing 65,000 homes in Auckland and Wellington at a cost of around $200 million, it was abandoned and much of the cable pulled from the ground. Some say it was stunt to undermine Kiwi cable, later acquired by TelstraClear, or that Telecom’s North American majority owners wanted to tidy up the books before pulling out. Regardless Telecom had discovered DSL, claiming this was the medium over which it would now deliver movies and TV. After initial trials this was downgraded to internet only. In 2003, Telecom undertook a three month, 100 home trial called JetVideo. Participants watched a range of movies and music videos on their PCs over full speed DSL ‘to gauge user reaction’. Telecom says it learned people don’t want to watch TV on a PC. Ralph Brayham, in charge of the project at the time, said the trial showed Telecom had the technology and the bandwidth

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to deliver this content but the equipment was still too expensive for most Kiwi households. In the past three years however a major shift has occurred in the affordability of high end PCs and LCD (liquid crystal display) and Plasma flat screens. In fact products like Microsoft Media Centre actively promote a ‘download’ scenario for home entertainment, with an interface geared to manage and serve up music, movies, videos and photographs from a PC hard drive or stream content direct from the web. Currently Telecom is testing Microsoft’s new direct to home video framework known as IPTV. It’s working with Alcatel, Microsoft’s agent for IPTV, to ensure latest generation ADSL2+ MiniDSLAM multiplexers can deliver at least 15Mbit/sec speeds over copper. In-house tests have been conducted with at least 20 people using in conjunction with Sky and others, as well as developing a hybrid PVR (personal video recorder) to manage and deliver a range of video-based services. Alcatel’s Australian-based director innovation and marketing development manager, Geoff Heydon, stated in 2005 that it wasn’t impossible to deliver 50Mbit/sec to the home by 2010, suggesting New Zealand would only confirm itself as a laggard if it didn’t achieve that lofty goal. In fact he believed the maturity of IPTV, would force the issue, even pushing home connections out to 1Gb by 2020. The first commercial customers of IPTV are likely to be in the new suburb of Flatbush on the outskirts of Manukau City, where smart houses, wired with gigabit connections are being built. Manukau is so confident in the digital future it has adopted a policy that all new housing developments must be wired for broadband. More than 500 customers in the Flatbush subdivision, and the nearby Highbrook business park, will be early trialists of Telecom’s next generation network (NGN). Telecom’s $10 million investment in ‘fibre to the premises’ here will determine how effectively it might bypass its current ‘fibre to the curb’ stance for a direct to the home model. Flatbush will also be one of the first real life tests for its $1.4 billion next generation broadband network being built by Alcatel. The technology will ensure guaranteed quality of service (QoS) for bundled voice, data and video, full broadcast or on-demand video. The robust new network will replace the existing PSTN by 2012 with the first customers migrating during 2007. Reality check. The futuristic suburb of Flatbush hardly exists yet. And the homes Telecom will service? Well they’re still in the planning stages.

Terminology simplified LLU > Local loop unbundling. Where the incumbent or dominant carrier must let competing carriers site their equipment in their exchanges or roadside cabinets to access to the ‘last mile’ into homes and businesses. Local loop > The local loop is the portion of a carrier’s network that runs from the exchange or roadside cabinet into homes and businesses, or an estimated 1.7 million fixed copper lines. For DSL technology to work the length should typically be no longer than 5km and is increasingly being reduced to hundreds of metres or less in build up and newer areas. ADSL > Asynchronous digital subscriber line. Operates over the twisted pair telephone lines to homes and businesses. The download path is much greater than the maximum download. For example Telecom’s current network is capable of at least 7Mbit/sec download and 256 or greater upload speeds. ADSL2+ > International Telecommunications Union standard that has the potential to deliver speed of up to 24 Mbit/sec downstream and 3.5 Mbit/sec upstream. Equipment to enable this is now being rolled out around New Zealand and has been operational in many countries for some time. VDSL > Very high bit rate DSL supporting throughput sufficient for extremely high throughput such as video on demand and high definition TV. It can be both symmetric and asymmetric and provides up to 52 Mbit/sec of bandwidth. Symmetrical DSL > In many countries there’s a growing interest in symmetrical internet connections that allow the same speed both ways. A recent International Telecommunications Union (ITU) recommendation for VDSL2 (very fast DSL) provides for connectivity over existing copper lines at 100 Mbit/s symmetrically. Naked DSL (shared spectrum) > The engineering term is shared spectrum. Customers can purchase DSL services from one company and phone services from another. Currently Telecom’s best deals are only available to those who also have a call plan with it.

Download guidelines TV or video streaming > Needs at least 2Mbit/s speeds. That’s 256kb of data per second or roughly 15.4 Mb per minute of video or TV viewing. A subscriber with a 2Gb cap would run over their allotment after only 129 minutes. MP3 music files > While these vary in size depend-

Unconstrained DSL or UBS > Unconstrained bitstream access. Raw DSL speeds offered at the maximum speeds possible to wholesalers and those who place their DSLAMs on Telecom’s network. DSLAMS > Digital Subscriber Line Access Multiplexer. A network device, usually at a telephone exchange or roadside cabinet, that separates the voice-frequency signals from the high-speed data traffic and controls and routes digital subscriber line (xDSL) traffic between the customer and the main carrier network. Upload speed > The return path on DSL used to send data from your email or in gaming or interactive applications. This becomes increasingly important for applications such as VoIP (voice over IP) which needs high speeds both ways. Calls can be interrupted if the upload path isn’t sufficient. Telecom restricted this to 128kbit/sec with most accounts and only recently lifted it to 256kbit/sec. Download speed > Restricted 256Mbit/sec or 528Mbit/sec until about a year ago unless you were with Telecom or a provider that had its own infrastructure. TRhe speed was bumped up to 2Mbit/sec last year and a determination struck in December 2005 means speed of 3.5Mbit/sec are now available. LLU is expected to boost access to 7Mbit/sec in the short term and with DSL2 technology now commonplace new carriers are proposing 8-24Mbit/sec services by 2008. Data caps > The restriction on the amount of data subscribers can download (or upload) each month. This can vary from 600Mb to 1Gb as a standard offering but on higher end accounts through some ISPs is now 10Gb and more. If you exceed your data cap you are charged a per Mb fee and/or the speed of access is drastically reduced. POP > Point of presence, server or access point delivering email and internet-based services Structural separation > The suggestion by the Government that Telecom may need to separate out it wholesaling and retailing divisions so it’s wholesaling activities can be more closely monitored by the Commerce Commission.

ing on the length of the song they’re typically 1Mb per minute, eg a 3 minute song is 3Mb. Video clips > Depending on size, a 3 minute music video, 10 minute short film, 30 minute TV clip or full length feature. A three minute video clip can use between 5-20Mb depending on the quality (resolution) and the screen size you are using. A 30 minute clip could use up to 200Mb.

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AGE OF AUTISM

THIS

WON’T HURT A BIT

On America’s Pacific Northwest, in the small city of Olympia, Washington a drug trial of Merck Sharpe & Dohme’s new MMR/ Chickenpox combo vaccine, ProQuad, has turned up another possible link with autism. UPI’s DAN OLMSTED has been following the autism debate in a special investigation for months. This is his latest report:

And other tall tales from medical trials

hildren in families with problematic reactions to chickenpox virus may be at risk for developing autism if they get that live-virus immunization too close to other live-virus vaccines, a three-month United Press International investigation of cases in one northwest U.S. city suggests. Several such families in the Washington state capital of Olympia watched their children regress into full-syndrome autism – losing language and social skills and adopting repetitive behaviors – in the months following the shots. Two children had participated in small clinical trials in Olympia of investigational Merck & Co. chickenpox vaccines in combination with the live-virus mumps-measles-rubella vaccine – the MMR. Federal health authorities consistently have rejected concerns about a link between immunizations and autism. But a family background of problems coping with viruses used in livevirus vaccines has not been considered a possible risk factor, experts said. One of the children in the clinical trials, Jimmy Flinton, now 4, got about 10 times the standard dose of chickenpox vaccine in a shot that also contained the MMR.

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Called ProQuad, that combined immunization was approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration last September – the first time four attenuated or weakened live viruses have been mixed together in a single shot. The second child, Timothy Baltzley, now 6, got an investigational process upgrade chickenpox shot and a separate MMR shot at the same office visit. Both children have a parent who had unusual reactions to chickenpox virus. Timothy’s Baltzley’s mother, Kimberly, had chickenpox three times, the last at age 16, just three years before he was born. Jimmy Flinton’s father, Paul, had shingles as a teenager. Shingles is reactivated chickenpox virus that painfully inflames nerves and mostly affects older people or those with weakened immune systems. Both children got the vaccines at 12 months, the age at which chickenpox and MMR immunizations are first recommended by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. They were among a total of 101 subjects in the two trials in Olympia, according to the Western Institutional Review Board, which approved the trial protocols. Half-a-dozen other parents of preschool-age autistic children from the same neighborhood in Olympia recognized a common thread: unusual chickenpox histories in their families and

simultaneous or closely timed chickenpox and MMR shots in their children. It’s the proximity of the chickenpox and MMR vaccinations and the family histories that stand out, says Denise Rohrbeck, mother of 3-year-old Grant. Rohrbeck has not been able to develop immunity to chickenpox despite being twice vaccinated as an adult, the last time just two years before her son was born. A couple of months before he got the standard chickenpox and MMR shots at the same office visit at age 1, Grant had a stubborn and severe case of roseola, which like chickenpox is a herpesvirus. Four days after the MMR and chickenpox injections he became ill with a fever and lay limp in his mother’s arms for the first time in his life. He began having chronic diarrhea, and by his 15-month checkup he had regressed so drastically that his pediatrician suggested he could be autistic, Rohrbeck recalled. The doctor agreed to the parents’ request for an immediate neurodevelopmental evaluation, which resulted in a diagnosis of full-syndrome autism. Rohrbeck says she began looking for a possible connection between vaccines and autism among neighborhood children after the Thurston County Health Department did not follow up on parents’ concerns raised at a meeting last October.

With the parents’ continued involvement, she has now compiled vaccination records of 14 Olympia children diagnosed with autism, as well as 16 who are not. The admittedly unscientific chickenpox-MMR association continues to be striking, and the two cases following the clinical trials seemed to underscore it, she says. A Merck spokeswoman says the company reported those two cases to the FDA this March – the same month UPI asked Merck about them. We just received these reports in March 2006, six months after ProQuad was approved in the U.S., and they were sent to the FDA after we received them, Merck’s Christine Fanelle said in a statement. She said Merck received the two reports of autism AEs from Olympia – one from the parent of a child in the ProQuad trial and one from the parent of a child in (the ‘process upgrade’ chickenpox) study. Parents Jennifer Flinton and Kimberly Baltzley say they never called Merck and wouldn’t know who to contact there; last summer, Jennifer Flinton reported Jimmy’s autism to the federal government’s Vaccine Adverse Events Reporting System, attributing it to the cumulative effects of vaccination. The federal health employee she spoke to on the phone said she would follow up by gathering lot numbers and other information on the vaccines. INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006, 49

The parents say their pediatrician, who conducted both of the Merck-funded trials in Olympia, knew about their children’s autism diagnoses within months of their participation in January 2001 and October 2002. The Olympia trials were part of wider Merck studies conducted at several sites in the United States and abroad. Fanelle said Merck would not disclose information about any other reports of autism. We have confirmed your original inquiry on whether we received the two reports out of Olympia, she said. “We are not going to comment on reports beyond this. There were more than 7,000 children in our ProQuad trials, 5,800 of whom received ProQuad vaccine, she added. Diana Sparby of the Western Institutional Review Board in Olympia says it has not received reports of autism from the local ProQuad study, but she notes the protocol was not designed to assess long-term safety, as it called for follow-up for only 42 days following vaccine administration. The FDA, which approves drugs after determining they are safe and effective and monitors reports of side effects after they come on the market, did not respond to repeated inquiries from UPI about the Olympia cases or parents’ concerns about family chickenpox histories. Other unusual histories in neighborhood families with autistic children 6 and under: • Another child had roseola 12 weeks before getting his chickenpox and MMR shots; • Another father had shingles as a teenager; • Another mother had chickenpox as an adult two years before her pregnancy; • A mother had chronic cold sores, also a herpesvirus, as a child that were so severe they had to be treated medically; In addition, another mother had a case of measles as an adult. Merck, which manufactures the standard MMR shot and the standalone Varivax chickenpox shot as well as the experimental vaccines used in the clinical trials, said repeated studies show no relation between vaccines and autism. We don’t see an association, spokeswoman Fanelle said, citing as confirmation a 2004 report by the widely respected Institute of Medicine, part of the National Academies. That report rejected a link between autism and either the MMR vaccine or the mercury-based preservative thimerosal. The report also urged that research dollars be spent on more promising autism research. There will always be some people who say vaccines cause autism despite the lack of scientific evidence, Fanelle said. In the United States, controversy over a possible link has centered on thimerosal. Beginning in the late 1980s children were exposed to increasing amounts of thimerosal, which is half ethyl mercury, as more vaccines were mandated. Thimerosal was phased out of routine childhood immunizations – but not all flu shots given to children and pregnant women – beginning in 1999. Although the Olympia children with autism were born after the phase-out was recommended, their vaccine records show more than half of them got at least one shot containing thimerosal during the first year of life. It is possible all of them did, but incomplete information from manufacturers makes that uncertain. Chickenpox and MMR immunizations don’t contain thimerosal because the mercury would inactivate the viruses, but 50, INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006

some proponents of a vaccine-autism link suspect thimerosal exposure from other immunizations could have a potentiating effect, damaging a child’s defenses and paving the way for live viruses to wreck havoc.

ll live-virus vaccines are attenuated – significantly weakened based on the theory that this creates immunity without causing the actual disease or other adverse health consequences. Other vaccines on the U.S. childhood immunization schedule, including hepatitis B and the polio shot, contain killed or so-called inactivated viruses. Live polio virus was dropped in 2000 after health authorities determined it was actually causing polio in a small number of cases. Despite the Olympia parents’ concern, none points an accusing finger at doctors. I worry about pediatricians being vilified, remarks Rohrbeck. “We vaccinated our son because we shared their faith that vaccines were safe. If it turns out that some vaccines are not safe for all children and that these hazards could have been found with more rigorous testing – or worse, that the dangers were already known – that’s the fault of the CDC, the FDA and the manufacturers, she says. I’ll defend doctors to the end on this point. They are a convenient front line for those agencies to hide behind – it’s just shameful. The theory that live virus immunizations could trigger autism first arose in 1998 in Britain, when gastroenterologist Dr. Andrew Wakefield published a paper suggesting a possible association between childhood MMR immunization, bowel disease and regressive autism. The premise: Interaction between viruses – scientifically known as immune interference – could depress a susceptible child’s immune system, lead to persistent infection by the measles virus in the GI tract and possibly the nervous system itself, and trigger autism-inducing brain damage. While the case has not been proven, it gains plausibility from the fact that naturally occurring measles infection is known to cause delayed brain damage in a small percentage of children, proponents of the theory say. Wakefield’s study, and his plea in Britain to separate the component measles, mumps and rubella (German measles) vaccines and administer them a year apart to reduce possible risk, caused an uproar. Co-authors subsequently repudiated part of the paper, conflict-of-interest allegations emerged, and the prestigious Lancet, which originally published the study, issued a statement calling it fatally flawed. Wakefield was asked to leave his medical job in Britain and is now doing research in Austin, Texas. After the Olympia cases were described to him by UPI in March, Wakefield met with several of those parents at an autism conference in Portland, Oregon. He also read studies Merck cites as central to the FDA approval of ProQuad. It’s actually heartbreaking, listening to these parents, because you’re staring into an abyss, Wakefield said afterwards. You’re listening to stories which reflect the fundamental misconception of vaccine manufacturers of what viruses are and what they

do. The whole perception of these people is dangerously naïve. In contrast to the United States, British health authorities have not recommended chickenpox immunization. But an MMR-chickenpox shot was under discussion there at one point, and Wakefield said he warned its developers that putting four live viruses in one shot was a bad idea. He says the Olympia cases show why. “As far as I’m concerned, you are further increasing the likelihood of persistent infection and delayed disease, which they are never looking for and therefore they will never find if it does occur, as it did clearly in a relatively short space of time with some of these children, and it’s never ascribed to an adverse reaction to the vaccine.” On its Web site, the CDC says such concerns – and Wakefield’s studies in particular – are not based on good science. Current scientific evidence does not support the hypothesis that MMR vaccine, or any combination of vaccines, causes the development of autism, including regressive forms of autism, the CDC says. The existing studies that suggest a causal relationship between MMR vaccine and autism have generated media attention. However, these studies have significant weaknesses and are far outweighed by epidemiological studies ... that have consistently failed to show a causal relationship between MMR vaccine and autism. (http://www.cdc.gov/nip/vacsafe/concerns/autism/ autism-mmr.htm)

r. Jeff Bradstreet, a family practitioner in Florida who treats 3,000 autistic children and has worked with Wakefield, said he believes the risk of autism rises the earlier and closer together that live-virus vaccines are administered. He warned the Institute of Medicine in 2004 that it was ignoring the possibility that younger children are more vulnerable because their immune and neurological systems are immature. There’s definitely been an association of kids getting MMR at 12 months and crashing (becoming autistic), Bradstreet argues. He says adding 10 times the standard dose of chickenpox virus, called varicella-zoster, to the MMR shot and administering it to 1-year-olds is playing with fire. “We think putting varicella with MMR is just nuts.” British researcher Paul Shattock sees another reason to be concerned with combining the four viruses: He suspects that children who get wild – or naturally occurring – chickenpox too close in time to the MMR shot face a higher risk for autism. That scenario parallels the one Olympia parents noticed with the chickenpox vaccination. Shattock, director of the Autism Research Unit in the School of Sciences at the University of Sunderland, says he noticed that autistic British children whose parents blame the MMR for triggering the disorder had a pattern of undisclosed viral illness around the time of the shot. He studied the records of 100 of those children, compared to 100 children whose parents did not cite the MMR as the trigger, to see if there was a higher incidence of chickenpox cases three months before or after the MMR immunization. Now, there was, Shattock said in an interview while attend-

“In contrast to the United States, British health authorities have not recommended chickenpox immunization. But an MMR-chickenpox shot was under discussion there at one point, and Wakefield said he warned its developers that putting four live viruses in one shot was a bad idea”

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006, 51

an autism conference this month in Washington, D.C. It wasn’t statistically significant at the 95 percent level – but enough to make you think that if it was a huge study, it might be. His concern about adding chickenpox to the MMR shot: “I’m worried about it because of the interference of the vaccines, mainly because it depresses the immune system by yet another mechanism.” A Merck scientist discussed that issue at a CDC meeting in 2004, the year before ProQuad was approved, according to agency minutes. Dr. Florian Schodel confirmed the possibility that the chickenpox virus component of ProQuad was “causing a local immune suppression and an increase in measles virus replication... The current hypothesis is that the varicella and measles virus are co-infecting the same or proximate areas of the body and engaging in a specific interaction, but how that works is as yet unknown. He said the interference appeared to involve only the chickenpox and measles viruses – there is no such effect for the mumps or rubella vaccines administered locally at the same time. At the same meeting, Merck’s Dr. Barbara Keller said the amount of chickenpox virus in ProQuad is about a log – or 10 times – higher than Merck’s standalone chickenpox vaccine, Varivax, in order to overcome immune interference. Both Wakefield and Shattock said the Olympia families’ unusual histories with chickenpox are worrisome because their children might have inherited problems coping with the vaccine. There’s no doubt the immune response to viruses is determined by our genetic constitution, Wakefield says. “It may well be there is a genetically determined predisposition to abnormal handling of chickenpox virus, at least in children. “This kind of phenomenon has been shown to (play a role in) measles. The immune response to measles is determined by your genetic profile. It’s certainly consistent with what is known about the immune response to viruses.”

everal vaccine researchers who remain concerned abut a possible autism link told this column they find the Olympia cluster, and little Jimmy’s case in particular, deeply disturbing. The children’s histories fit one of the major vaccine-autism hypotheses like a surgical glove: the idea that interference among live viruses in vaccines could warp the body’s natural immune response, leading to persistent infection and delayed neurological problems. “The key to many of the problems you see with viral vaccines is interference,” Wakefield says. The host control of a viral infection is fundamentally mediated through an adequate immune response, and that immune response has been conditioned by tens of thousands of years of evolution, says Wakefield. “And the outcome of an infection is dependent on the pattern of exposure. So measles is innocuous when encountered under normal circumstances of dose and age of exposure. But when it’s encountered under atypical circumstances early in life, particularly at high dose, then the outcome is very different. And the problem for these viruses is persistence and delayed disease, he says. So if they can establish persistent infection, elude the host immune response, then they can all come back and cause delayed disease later in life.

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And herpesviruses do exactly the same thing, he added. “What alarms me about the cavalier approach of the industry and everybody else, the regulators, to these viruses is they presume the wild infection to be nasty and the vaccines to be innocuous – that they can manipulate something that is biologically highly intelligent and exploit it to their advantage. And they can’t. The viruses don’t behave like that and they never will. They merely come back to haunt you as something different. ProQuad is likely to be widely adopted by healthcare professionals who previously administered separate MMR and Varivax shots. Use of licensed combination vaccines, such as (ProQuad), is preferred to separate injection of their equivalent component vaccines, says the new edition of the CDC’s authoritative Pink Book on vaccine-preventable diseases. “When used, (the immunization) should be administered on or after the first birthday, preferably as soon as the child becomes eligible for vaccination.” Meanwhile, another potentially significant issue in Olympia remains unanswered weeks after I raised it with the health department there. The first thing that caught the parents’ attention was a seeming absence of autism cases at one of the two big medical practices in town, Pediatric Associates. The parents, who know each other through a countywide support group, haven’t been able to find a single case of fullsyndrome autism among preschoolers who were vaccinated from birth at PA, as the parents call it. Anecdotal, yes – but intriguing: Autism cases are not hard to find at the other pediatric practices in town, no surprise given a rate of autistic disorders of 1 in 166 American children. So what’s up at PA? Parents say they learned at least half the doctors there delay the chickenpox and MMR shots until 18 months, and the other half tend to break them up – giving one at 12 or 15 months and the other about six months later. Records parents gathered suggest this trend at PA started sometime after 2000 – records collected from 1999 show the two shots given together as early as 12 months. Interestingly, parents found full-syndrome kids from PA born before 2000. The CDC recommends that the MMR and chickenpox shots be given as soon as possible beginning at 12 months and no later than 15 months for the MMR and 18 months for chickenpox. That’s when the autistic kids the parents in Olympia are talking about got them – sooner rather than later and usually at the same time, not widely spaced or starting at 18 months as appears to be the case at Pediatric Associates. Thus the PA kids and their shot patterns might be an informal control group right in the middle of this state capital of just over 50,000 on the South Puget Sound. Pediatric Associates did not respond to questions about its immunization policies. Neither did the county health department, although a spokeswoman acknowledged it would be simple for the department to check its records and determine whether there really is a difference in immunization schedules. This series of articles, based on reporting in Olympia in February and March, tells the families’ stories, looks at the scientific controversy and examines implications for the autismvaccine debate.

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WORLDBRIEF

Diamonds forever Driven out of their country by war, Congo’s refugees suffer poverty and alienation in South Africa, discovers SHASHANK BENGALI

APE TOWN, South Africa – They were businessmen, engineers and college students. Their dreams were as big as the potential of their country, Congo, where gold and diamonds once seemed to sprout from the earth. But their dreams died as Congo plunged into Africa’s deadliest war, and militias and national armies wrestled over the country’s natural riches. In the past decade, the violence has killed 4 million people and sent refugees fleeing in all directions. Thousands came to industrialized and newly independent South Africa, hoping like immigrants everywhere for stability and opportunity. The reality has been different. Despite their education and aspirations, many Congolese refugees are working as parking lot attendants, security guards and carwash men in cities such as Cape Town, a shimmering but segregated seaside metropolis. Without immigration papers – which few Congolese are granted – and with a language barrier – most don’t speak English well – these are the best jobs they can get. In this deeply xenophobic country, where two in five people are unemployed, the Congolese are resented for taking even these lowly jobs, and they’re often the victims of street crime. Poor and alienated, they cluster with other immigrants in ramshackle apartments in dark, dingy neighborhoods. “Life isn’t easy here. Every day I struggle,” says Moses Nyanga, a slight 36-year-old with weary brown eyes. Nyanga washes cars six days a week in a gym parking lot in a leafy Cape Town suburb. Nyanga and his wife share a one-room apartment with a closet-size bathroom and no kitchen. Even after four years, he

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isn’t comfortable with English – he prefers his native French – and with customers he usually manages just a smile and a few words. Now, with Congo trying this year to hold its first free elections since 1960, relief agencies want refugees to return. For Congolese in South Africa, it’s a difficult choice: Stay and subsist in their new home, where they largely feel unwelcome, or return to Congo, where the future is uncertain. “But it’s a question of security,” Nyanga says. “Congo is a beautiful country, but you don’t know if one day violence will start again. In South Africa we are not exactly comfortable, but there’s no war.” Reliable statistics are elusive, but in 2004 the United Nations estimated that 380,000 Congolese were living in neighboring countries, not including South Africa. South Africa’s Ministry of Home Affairs says nearly 42,000 refugees and asylum-seekers are from Congo – more than any other country – but the total number of Congolese in the country is higher. Unlike most African countries, South Africa doesn’t maintain refugee camps. People with job skills, like Nyanga, can go directly to the cities, where they hope for work. In his hometown of Kalemie, in Congo’s rugged, volatile east, Nyanga earned a degree in engineering. He’d used his skill with electrical machinery to set up a small business, a bakery that supplied bread to a few restaurants in town. But by 2002, Kalemie had become too unstable. Members of the local Banyamulenge ethnic group were fighting rival rebel factions almost daily. From his family’s house, Nyanga could see bombs exploding on the other side of the river that ran through town, and at night he and his family fell asleep to the sound of not-so-distant gunshots. He’d heard that there were jobs in South Africa, so Nyanga

Moses Nyanga, 36, waits for work outside a parking lot in Cape Town, South Africa, where he washes cars for a living. An electrical engineer in his native Congo, he struggles like thousands of other Congolese refugees in South Africa to find work. (Photo by Shashank Bengali)

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006, 55

Photography: Peter Wilhjelm

took his savings and boarded a bus out of Congo. But once he arrived, employers wouldn’t hire him. In order to work officially, he needed South African identity papers, which he could get only by being recognized as an asylum-seeker. But each time he went to the Home Affairs department to apply, he was told that there was a backlog and that he should wait a few months. Today, more than 103,000 refugees in South Africa are waiting for asylum applications to be processed. Some rights advocates have called this a scandal. In November, New Yorkbased Human Rights Watch documented systemic problems in the largest Home Affairs office in Johannesburg, South Africa’s capital – including corruption, mistreatment of applicants and failure to grant permits that allow refugees to work or attend school while waiting for their applications to be reviewed. Nyanga submitted his application two years ago, but hasn’t heard back. Last year, he married a Congolese seamstress. She’s had no luck either. “Every month, two months, I go back,” he says. “You have to give a little bribe just so they will listen to you. Then they tell you to come back in a few more months.” He can’t help but feel like an outsider. One recent night, he was attacked, beaten and had his cell phone stolen on the street near his home. Crime is a scourge in South Africa’s cities, and Congolese are an easy target. Many foreigners can’t open bank accounts, so they carry cash with them, and if they’re attacked, their illegal status discourages them from going to the police. But many South Africans blame immigrants for the crime problem. As in the United States, Europe and other favored destinations for refugees, the influx of foreigners has contributed to widespread xenophobia, explains Loren B. Landau, director 56, INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006

of the Forced Migration Studies Program at the University of the Witwatersrand in Johannesburg. The feelings are strongest among poor blacks, who’ve failed to see much improvement in their lives since apartheid ended in 1994. “There’s a deep existential insecurity among black South Africans,” Landau says. “As much as you may have resented apartheid, everyone knew where he was supposed to go. “Post-apartheid, there’s a lot of expectations that the government and others have not fulfilled.” The government hasn’t done much to fight xenophobia – many politicians prefer to stoke constituents’ fears – but Home Affairs officials said last month that they would launch a campaign to dispel the notion that immigrants are criminals. But for most immigrants, daily life remains a struggle. “We fight; we go and look for work every day,” shrugs Patrick Nkashama, an outgoing 28-year-old with broad shoulders and an easy laugh. In Lubumbashi in southeastern Congo, he was two years from a degree in electrical engineering. Since he arrived in South Africa four years ago, he’s trolled for odd jobs at a taxi rank, parked cars, painted houses, washed cars and briefly worked as a security guard. He got that job, he said, by forging identity papers with the help of a friend. He lasted a few months before his then-girlfriend, after a fight, turned him in. He’s embarrassed that he doesn’t have any money to send back to his family in Congo. He calls less and less frequently. So far, he hasn’t followed the Congolese election campaign. His ties to his home country have frayed almost completely. “When I talk to my mom, she thinks I’m OK here,” Nkashama says. “I’m not OK. But you can’t say that. If she knew what it was like, she’d die of a heart attack.”

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EDUCATION

TO SIR, WITH GRUDGE Former secondary school teacher PETER JOYCE returns to the classroom, and gets a culture shock

hen I first did dayrelief teaching in 1974, I once had to supervise a sixthform class. They were rather slow to settle into work, but after a minute or two all except one boy were on task. He just sat there and stared distractedly at the wall. When I told him to get on with his work, he protested, “But I can’t; my glasses are locked.” I said, “What do you mean? You can’t lock glasses.” He said, “Oh yes you can!” He lifted his exercise book and revealed his glasses, which perched awkwardly on his 58, INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006

desk. The punch-line? Some wag had placed a sizeable padlock around the bridge. We all had a good laugh, one of the other boys produced the key, and order was restored – not by me, but by the comic point having been made. On the surface, this was misbehaviour, but it was funny and classy. It was also finite, circumscribed by an underlying respect for the conventions of the classroom. How I miss those days. Forget NCEA, funding and recruitment problems. The real crisis in New Zealand secondary education is student attitude. We never read about it in Government policy papers, and seldom in PPTA submissions, but we can hear plenty of detail over a coffee in the staff room. Hollywood gets it wrong. Movies like To Sir With Love and Dangerous Minds present students from the other side of the tracks, truculently scowling and occasionally wielding knives.

A teacher wins them over by showing interest in them beyond the professional call of duty or by tearing up their course book, and they glisten like pure gold after all the accumulated dirt of their deprived lives has been sluiced away. Real student misbehaviour is different. It is not as dramatically antisocial as the celluloid version. However, it niggles more persistently. It irritates. No amount of understanding – and least of all counselling – seems to get rid of it. Of course, I may be looking through grey-tinted spectacles. I am fifty-three, and we all know that it is difficult to grow old gracefully in teaching. I also spent four years teaching in Taiwan, which has enough respect for teachers that it retains a national teachers’ day, solemnly observed with speeches, odes and gifts. Taiwan also lacks educational psychologists who can give fancy names to behavioural problems. Most important, although its teenagers are starting to discover Cool, it has yet to gain more than a toehold within the school gates. For all these reasons, my views of New Zealand high schools may be biased. On the other hand, returning to the classroom after a time away has allowed me to observe changes which some of my New Zealand colleagues may have missed. I asked one of them if he thought students had changed in the last few years. He said without hesitation, “No, but you have.” It was a compelling answer, but only partly true. For example, I am not imagining that language has deteriorated. The word teachers pretend not to hear now starts with f, not s. I have also noticed an increase in student use of the Impertinent (or non-interrogative) Why. I confiscated a pair of headphones from a fifth-form boy during a lesson. A girl sitting nearby decided to act as his protector, and exclaimed petulantly, “Why!” If I had been inclined to treat this outburst as a question, I could have replied that he should not have been wearing the phones in the first place, and that I had already asked him to put them away twice (or was it three times?), with unwarranted politeness. I could also have added, “And anyway, it’s none of your business”, but I offered no such responses. There was no point, because her “Why!” sought no information or explanation. It really meant, “Give that back, you unreasonable bastard!” but that would have been too much even for today’s teenagers. We may have to wait another half generation for such a direct challenge enter the mainstream. Using the Impertinent Why allows students to maintain the appearance of civility (“I was only asking for an explanation”) while in fact challenging the teacher’s reasonable authority. The only appropriate response is to say either nothing or “Because I said so.” To explain or argue is fatal, because it gets the student’s foot in the door and may lead to compromise, in a case where no further compromise is justified. In fact, I had already compromised in a tacit way. Since the boy presumably had the phones connected to a personal stereo of some kind, he had broken school rules by having the phones in the first place. My compromise was not to punish him for that from the outset. Many initial requests and actions by teachers involve such prior, implied compromise. On several occasions I asked a persistent chatterbox to move to another seat, after a couple of warnings to be quiet and stay on task. “Why?” In the circumstances, some sarcasm would have been fitting: “There are single-cell organisms which would understand why,

and you’re telling me you don’t?” but I am a teacher, and therefore too civil. I ignored the Impertinent Why, and continued to insist politely that he had to move. Eventually, he did. I asked another to see me at the end of the lesson. “Why?” he said, predictably. Must the only sequel to a second warning be a third one? Do these students expect to get away with it? More disturbingly, do they get away with it? In cases such as asking a student to move to another seat, I see conflicting psychological forces at work. On one side, the student may fear unfortunate consequences if he defies the teacher: in short, a punishment. On the other side, he loses face among his peers if, in an open dispute with a teacher, he obeys. A generation or two ago, the same conflict would have been at work. However, the consequences of disobedience were strong enough to overcome the loss of face, and students in general obeyed. This effect would have compounded. It was normal for students to obey such instructions, and any stigma attached to obedience was nipped in the bud. Students disobey these days because they see that they can win. This is a tragedy for classroom management.

he Impertinent Why is just one manifestation of deteriorating student behaviour and diminishing respect for teachers. I have observed classroom misbehaviour closely for several years, and have noticed several patterns which, like ADD and ADHD, deserve to be named and therefore given psychological respectability. A common condition is DDD, or Diverted Discipline Disorder. Students afflicted with this ailment say “But why are you picking on me? Sally does this all the time!” Almost as widespread is MMS: Manipulative Mumbling Syndrome. I approach a student who has written nothing for ten minutes. I tentatively suggest I may be able to help, and ask, “Which option have you chosen?…I’m sorry, what was that?…I still can’t hear your answer…No, I…can you please speak up?” Then the student snarls the answer “Number seven!” at exaggerated volume and with feigned indignation, implying all of the following: you are deaf and stupid, I have no intention of doing this exercise, I reject your pathetic attempt to help me, and I refuse to value you by speaking to you in a coherent way. This example shows that student misbehaviour is not always disruptive; it may be inconsiderate or insulting. A fifth-form class of mine was once struggling to write speeches. Some of the students asked if I could do one as an example. This was a reasonable request, and at least some of the students asked politely. Two boys were the most vocal about the need for the teacher to set an example. I considered their tone was quite sneery, with a suggestion of “If this is so easy, why don’t you do it?” Nevertheless, I saw it as a professional duty, and wrote a speech – on ways to end war, if I remember rightly. After I had delivered it, I asked the boy who had been given the task of timing me how long the speech had been. “About three hours,” he said, to general laughter. I asked another some question about the content of the speech. “I don’t know. I was asleep.” These comments, coming from the two boys who pretended to need the speech, were insulting and disrespectful – not disrespectful towards me as a person in authority, but as a fellow human being who had done them a favour. I had been having a very busy week, but found time to write and practise the INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006, 59

speech anyway, only to receive abuse. It would be inconceivable for it to happen the other way round. English teachers often hear substandard speeches in classrooms, but all they offer is encouragement. Of course, it would be naïve to punish students for this. As with so many things students do and say these days, any objection makes me appear over-sensitive. Some teachers may have thicker skins than mine, and can live with abusive, unruly and surly behaviour. Personally, I find it difficult to teach students when they lean back on their chairs and chew gum, or interrupt me or fellow students. However, I know that other teachers live with such behaviour quite happily. Do I say anything to that boy who threw a screwed-up piece of paper at the bin across the room? What about the one at the back, pivoting on one leg of his chair and writing a few desultory words of his assignment every two minutes? (“I’m thinking”). To take action leads the class to consider you a disciplinarian; to take no action permanently lowers the tone of the whole class – and of the whole school, if it happens in other classes.

going to walk away now, and there is nothing you can do about it.” He was right; I had neither the time nor inclination to document the nuances of his tone. You had to be there. Part of the problem is that the poor things are bored because our lessons are not interesting enough. We are supposed to feel guilty about this, and many of us do. This is despite the fact that we strive to make our lessons as student-centred and varied as we can. Students seldom have to do the same activity for more than twenty minutes. When I give any instructions which are longer than thirty seconds and which contain dependent clauses, I can see the eyes wandering, the heads drooping. How dynamic are we supposed to be? Should we hand secondary education over to a handful of switched-on superteachers, those who can enthrall the most cynical and apathetic teenagers with their explanation of osmosis or of imagery in King Lear? Like evangelists, they could hold happenings in sports stadiums. Of course we should make our lessons as interesting as possible. However, students should accept that the classroom is not the same as a computer game or a disco. Part of maturity is accepting that ideas have an interest of their own. How old do our students need to be before they gain satisfaction from learning about the Consumer Guarantees Act, evolution, or the Treaty of Waitangi? I remember being fascinated by geometry, even though I could never master it. When I learnt German, the satisfaction of understanding a foreign tongue motivated me to learn my fifteen new German words every night. What is daily life doing to our students that subjects appear to hold such little interest in themselves? What can we do about all this? This may be one of those problems that have no solution. In disciplinary matters, teachers are expected to act like judges, with full evidence and at least an implied right of appeal. However, we are hamstrung by this. It would be more fitting for us to act like referees, who also have to make decisions on the fly. The classroom is as dynamic an environment as the sports field. No referee has to tolerate the

lassroom talk also seems to have changed. It now appears almost normal to speak loudly to another student on the other side of the room, often about something totally irrelevant: “Hey Sarah, are you really going to the ball with Leon?” Such long-range communication may still provoke a mild rebuke, but mild rebukes do not prevent behaviour from becoming entrenched. Sometimes, when I ask a group of students involved in discussion to speak more quietly, one says in a derisive whisper: “Okay, we’ll talk like this.” Hardly a disciplinary matter, but cheeky. I remember nostalgically the time when a glare from a teacher was enough to check a student’s misbehaviour. It may still work with someone with a more formidable style than mine. The Human Instinct television series suggested that people with prominent jaws command more respect. Perhaps my jaw is all wrong. Anyway, I have now given up my glare entirely, because too many students have “Some teachers may have thicker skins than mine, and mocked it by staring back in a can live with abusive, unruly and surly behaviour. manner which in another context could be mistaken for goo- Personally, I find it difficult to teach students when they goo eyes. It is a rare glare these lean back on their chairs and chew gum, or interrupt days which can command any serious attention. me or fellow students” With any disciplinary matter that has to be taken to a higher level (say, reference to a dean or Impertinent Why, and no teacher – not even one with the chaassociate principal), the transgression has to be written up and risma of a flatworm – should have to either. Players and specchronicled. However, so many of the incidents that cause teachtators understand the need for a referee’s instant decision to ers the most tension appear trivial when we document them. stand. They know that the game will not proceed fairly unless Once I reprimanded a boy after the lesson. I have forgotten the referee has the freedom to make decisions – even some misthe reason for the stern lecture I gave him, but I remember his taken ones – which are immediately respected. I would welresponse. While I admonished him, he looked at me as if I were come such a change in the classroom. a contemptible member of his own peer group. I believe that Part of the problem is that punishment has earned a bad in the army this was traditionally called “silent insolence” and name in education. Memories are still fresh of tyrannical could lead to a few days’ KP duty. After his ordeal, he casually teachers who, purple with rage, hectored whole classes for the said, “Did you cut yourself shaving this morning? You’ve got a misdemeanour of one child. At my school, students could be little nick – just there” as he pointed to a spot on my neck. He caned for forgetting their homework. We now seek the underthen nonchalantly turned and strode off. This is Sophisticated lying reasons for bad behaviour. We assume that students who Impertinence, and few can match it. He really meant, “I am behave badly do not know how to behave well. How can we 60, INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006

punish anyone for lacking the “social skill” necessary for civilized conduct? This attitude leads almost invariably to counselling, not punishment. In most cases this is a dangerous mistake. Many students, like Bart Simpson, know about good and bad but prefer bad; it’s more fun. Most teachers find this too dark a view, but a recurring example can easily show that it is true. Schools often have some kind of daily report system for recalcitrant students. A student who has crossed the line of good behaviour takes a report form to each class. At the end of the period, the student brings the form to the teacher, who writes a grade and a comment. Often a dean or associate principal offers a genuinely valuable reward for a good report at the end of the week (I have known day trips and chocolate). It is enlightening to see the demeanour of students who bring their form at the end the lesson. They wait patiently while I talk to other students. They make eye contact with me as they humbly ask whether I considered their conduct today was perhaps worth four stars, was it not? They suddenly show the stance, the attitude, the gestures, the vocabulary of civilized communication. They could be appointed to the diplomatic service. These are students who don’t know how to behave? Nonsense.

ost schools do have some kind of punishment policy in place, but in my experience recalcitrant children seldom actually suffer. Yes, suffer. We accept this in the adult world. When I drove at sixty-two kilometres per hour, I paid a fine. I suffered. It hurt. I may have declaimed briefly against the system which inflicted the punishment on me, but I accepted it. In the adult world, negative reinforcement is here to stay. At school, the memory of six vicious strokes across the tail has meant that punishments have been discarded entirely – in fact if not in policy. This is rather like abolishing speeding fines because we can still remember the rack. Punishment is useful because it intro-

civilised, because it would be impossible to list all the unacceptable actions the student had displayed. This would have meant he could return to class and claim the right to throw gum at the board, if I had not listed it. Sometimes there were false returns, when a student returned to class and continued to offend, but students usually came round, and often quite fast. Nowadays this does not happen, because every “Part of the problem is that the poor things are bored child is considered to have the to be in the classroom, the because our lessons are not interesting enough. We are right right to be educated. This is rather supposed to feel guilty about this, and many of us do. like saying all citizens have the to health care, despite the This is despite the fact that we strive to make our les- right fact that they throw syringes at their GPs. sons as student-centred and varied as we can” There are encouraging signs that duces fear: not the kind of fear which makes one’s hair stand the pendulum may be swinging back to conservatism. Students on end and seizes body and mind, but one which (like the fear at one local high school dread getting a detention set by the assoof a fine) can be act as a program running in the background, ciate principal, because talking is strictly banned, and students thwarting antisocial behaviour. Fear of punishment is neceshave to sit immobile and writing, despite the boredom, the pointsary in high schools because our society has little respect for lessness and the incipient RSI. However, widespread change will teachers. Genuine respect is of course much better than fear, not happen in this millennium. In the meantime, each teacher but no high school can function adequately without one or must find his or her own solution. Mine is to try to exist by teachthe other. ing the smallest number of part-time hours I can to feed and One of the most effective ways I have found to put some clothe my family. I have also taken a job in a small rural school, of the worst students back on the straight-and-narrow was where such problems are less common. I lost my self-respect in to throw them out into the corridor. This works, because no the classroom long ago, when I pretended not to hear the s-word. student likes it. I simply said, “You’re staying here until you If I start to lose my sanity as well, I will face a tough choice: reply can behave in a civilised way. It may be minutes or it may be to that ad for aluminium fabricators next time it appears in the months. Over to you.” I would not specify what I meant by newspaper, or get my jaw remodelled. INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006, 61

thinkLIFE money

A bird in the hand…

Peter Hensley argues against Bush economics

t had been a long day, Jim was stressed and unsure of what to do. He had been talking to George at the Bowling Club and George, as usual, was sharing his opinions with anybody who would listen. Today was a little worse than others as George had arranged to be dropped off because he planned to walk home. George was known to have a very selective memory and was able to quote facts and figures to support his side of any discussion. The topic today was world politics. He had received an email which suggested that George W Bush would not see out his second term and he would be impeached. Now George was quite supportive of his name sake and could not understand how the president’s approval ratings were so low. Jim suggested that it might have something to do with the US economy. It was involved with several military conflicts

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around the world, the Government was spending more in welfare and running the country than they were collecting in taxes. In fact George W had recently confirmed some more tax cuts which would see the US economy go further into the red. The US has also reported the largest ever trade deficit on record. Jim stated that the US was simply spending more than they earned and relied on the rest of the world to maintain their exorbitant standard of living. Jim also suggested to George that their financial adviser has stated that history has shown that when the president is in trouble, the stock market is in trouble. Nobody can deny that George W is in it up to his neck, which suggests that the stock market could soon follow suit. Now George had an opinion on this as well. His deep analysis, gained exclusively

from CNBC, Sky News and CNN suggested that the US share market was in fine form and was just taking a breather, as markets do. Jim countered with the fact that the home construction index had lost a third of its value in the first half of this year. Property has been behind the continued growth of most western economies. Real estate prices have continued their way northward, providing people with the illusion that they are wealthier. They have increased their mortgages and spent this new found wealth at the shopping malls. The New York Times recently published a chart from Yale University Robert J Shiller’s latest book called Irrational Exuberance 2nd edition. It has been said that a picture tells a thousand words. The chart should leave readers speechless because the boom in real estate prices has not been confined to the United

States. It has been a worldwide phenomenon. Readers should not discount Professor Shiller’s pedigree. He published the first edition of his best selling book in 2000 which openly challenged the supporters of the over valued stock market. George could sense that he was losing the argument and was troubled as Jim’s information was different to the positive economic scenario portrayed by the commentators appearing on the Sky network news channels. George was aware that the US economy depended upon Joe (and Joanne) Citizen continuing their shoptill-they-drop frenzy at the local shopping malls. Buying things they don’t need with money they don’t have. True to form George did not let Jim’s summary of the facts deter his enthusiasm for talking up the economy and the stock market. He went on to enhance his argument citing the fact that the market had not fallen over and that the authorities would not let this happen. In fact the authorities and those in charge had gone out of their way to ensure that the property and share markets would not be adversely affected by the overall busi-

ness cycle. Jim had to acknowledge that George was right so far. This aspect was the issue that was troubling Jim. Jim felt a little put out that his adviser appeared to be a maverick. He had a conservative view of the world and preached that all investors should strive to be debt free. Investors were encouraged to be focused on income and not growth styled investments. The investment industry appeared to focus on growth-styled products, yet his adviser resolutely shied away from them. When Jim arrived home from bowls, he raised these issues with his lifetime partner and wife Moira. She was amazed that he was wasting his time allowing himself to get stewed up over such as issue. She growled at him for letting George get to him. She knew that George was loose with the facts and sometimes only told half a story if it helped reinforce his side of the story. She was also aware that his argumentative skills increased with his alcohol consumption. Moira could see that Jim was hurt and so sat down with him and reinforced the strategy their adviser had devised for

them. Initially he ensured that they were debt free, he then identified that their major need at their age and stage in life was income. Accordingly he drafted a plan that saw their money go into investments that produced income. Their adviser kept reinforcing that it was by all accounts a boring portfolio. There was little in there that could produce any excitement. There was a small growth exposure so that they could keep up with inflation. She also reminded Jim that George’s argument of the authorities being able to control markets was neither feasible nor practical. Both the property and share markets had a life of their own and to think that the authorities exerted control over them was fanciful. Sure, limited short term direction was within their scope, but nothing more. History has proven that markets go from being undervalued to over valued and back again. This is the business cycle. Moira reminded Jim that the strategy their adviser had identified for them was theirs and that he would be better talking to George about rugby than world economics. George at least knew something about rugby.

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006, 63

thinkLIFE science

It’s a dirty job…

The battle against birdflu has taken an American scientist on an epic quest, writes Sandra Kleffman

o one has played a more intriguing role in the revival of the 1918 flu virus than retired scientist Johan Hultin. The San Franciscan’s quest spanned nearly 50 years, taking him twice to a remote Alaskan village to dig up bodies frozen for decades in permafrost. Traveling alone, spending US$3,200 of his pension money, he succeeded while a much-larger, million-dollar expedition failed. Scientists credit the unassuming Swedish immigrant with providing a flu victim’s lung tissue that enabled them to bring the deadly virus back to life. “It would have been very difficult, if not impossible, to completely decode the sequence of the 1918 virus if it were not for what Johan did,” says Dr. Jeffery Taubenberger, whose team performed the genetic work. Hultin’s obsession with the virus began in 1950, sparked by a visiting virologist’s chance, 15-second comment. Only years later would he realize how a few lucky events shaped his quest. The 25-year-old Hultin arrived in the United States in 1949 to attend the University of Iowa, which had a highly regarded bacteriology department. He dreamed of becoming a microbiologist. It was summer, so he decided to see as much as possible before classes began. He drove the bumpy Alaskan Highway to Fairbanks. He found a bed in a vacant dorm at the College of Alaska. That’s how he met paleontologist Otto Geist, who would become an important player in the 1918 flu saga. The two became friends while poking around a nearby gold-mining operation where a dredger was unearthing prehistoric bones and fossils. Another fateful event occurred later when a leading virologist named William Hale visited the University of Iowa campus while Hultin was considering topics for his Ph.D. thesis.

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A modified Bunsen burner drew the two together. Hultin had grown frustrated because he kept forgetting to shut off his burner when the timer bell rang, ruining his experiments. Then he came up with a solution. Why not alter the burner so the timer shut off the gas? The innovation impressed Hale, who had ruined more than a few experiments himself. He made sure the young student was invited to a faculty luncheon later that day. During the meal, someone asked Hale about the 1918 flu. Scientists knew little about what made the virus so deadly, Hale replied. The only way to learn more, he said, would be to unearth a flu victim frozen in permafrost decades earlier. The corpse might still contain the virus. Intrigued, Hultin seized upon the idea as his Ph.D. thesis. But how would he find victims? How would he know where to go? Geist could help, he decided. He wrote his friend asking for the names of missionaries in Alaskan coastal villages. Geist knew many personally. They sent Hultin death records from October and November 1918. The flu pandemic hit the Alaskan villages hard, Hultin learned. The villages stacked up frozen bodies by the thousands in igloos and shacks. Alaskan leaders decided not to use their typical burial method of placing bodies on platforms above the reach of wild animals. “This was a real emergency in Alaska,” Hultin says. “No one knew what killed them, but it was a bad thing. So if you don’t know, what do you do? You bury them as far deep in the ground as you can. The order went out to bury all these people six feet down.” Comparing cemetery sites with permafrost maps, Hultin zeroed in on three sites where he might find still-frozen bodies.

Flying with a bush pilot in the summer of 1951, a discouraged Hultin learned that changed conditions had warmed the burial grounds at two sites. Finally, they flew over Brevig, a community of 200 people. This time, everything looked right – a cemetery with nothing obvious to melt the permafrost. The missionary who had corresponded with Hultin helped convince village matriarch Jenny Olanna to allow digging in the cemetery. If the scientists were successful, they told her, they could learn how to make vaccines and immunize the villagers against another pandemic. That was important to Olanna because the 1918 flu had wiped out 90 percent of the village. Although he was attempting to unearth the virus that caused history’s worst infectious disease outbreak, Hultin wore no protective gear while digging. He donned a mask when exposing organs, but only to protect them from contamination, not himself. “We were in a grave and everything is frozen,” he says. “Nothing is going to fly out of a frozen lung. It is in the laboratory when things are thawed out – that is when it is very dangerous.” After two days, he came upon his first frozen body – a 12-year-old girl. “She had a beautiful blue dress on,” he remembers. “When she died, they just picked her up and put her in the grave. She had black braided hair and red ribbons at the end. It was a pretty touching scene.” He knew then that bodies deeper down would also be well preserved. So he sent a message to Fairbanks asking Geist, a faculty adviser and a University of Iowa pathologist to join him. With the sun shining and a warm wind blowing, the digging went quickly. The men opened up a field of frozen bodies and picked four. When the pathologist opened the chest cavities, they saw expanded, dark red fro-

Photograph of the June 1951 trip by Johan Hultin (2nd from left) to the thawing tundra of Brevig, Alaska, where victims of the 1918 flu epidemic were exhumed. KRT

“

I don’t like failures. I don’t like unfinished business. This was always at the back of my mind to finish that some day zen lungs. That was a sign the people died rapidly and the virus might still be present. “So this was very fortunate,” Hultin says. The group brought Blue Ice to keep the specimens cold during their return to Iowa. But bad weather delayed their departure and the Blue Ice began to melt. Hultin feared the expedition would be ruined. Then he came up with an idea – why not buy fire extinguishers to keep the specimens cold? As they flew back on a DC 3 airliner, at every refueling stop Hultin blasted the specimen containers with carbon dioxide from the extinguishers. “The stewardesses were wondering what the hell was going on,” he says. Back in Iowa, Hultin spent a month and a half trying unsuccessfully to revive the virus. Eventually, he gave up. He went on to a successful career as a pathologist, moving to California in 1957 and working at several Bay Area hospitals. But he never forgot about the 1918 virus. “I don’t like failures. I don’t like unfinished business. This was always at the back of my mind to finish that some day.” Now 81, with a grey beard and strong

”

Swedish accent, he maintains his mountain-climber physique. Hultin tells his story while sitting in his Nob Hill home with stunning views of the San Francisco skyline, surrounded by his collection of pre-Columbian art. Over the years, he kept an eye on the scientific literature. In 1980, he learned about a new technique for analyzing small segments of genetic material. Seventeen years later, an article stunned him. Taubenberger and his team, working with tiny pieces of lung tissue preserved at the Institute of Pathology from two soldiers who died of the 1918 flu, had deciphered a small part of the virus’ genetic code. Hultin immediately contacted Taubenberger. Could he use more tissue? Taubenberger said he was about to run out and would love to have more. Hultin offered to return to Alaska. “How soon can you go?” Taubenberger asked, thinking the trip would take at least a year to plan. Another group had spent several years preparing for a flu-victim search in Norway. They wore containment suits and took the latest in high-tech

equipment, but had little success. Hultin said he could leave the following week. Paying for the trip himself, bringing his wife’s pruning shears to cut out specimens, he traveled alone to Brevig. This time, he encountered more skepticism among the villagers and more anti-white sentiment. They worried he would unleash evil spirits if he dug in the cemetery. Then someone remembered the deceased had received Christian burials, which would chase away the evil spirits. In another touch of good fortune, the village matriarch was the granddaughter of the woman who gave Hultin permission to dig decades earlier. Eventually, the villagers agreed to let him dig and even had four men help him. Four days later, Hultin came across his big discovery – a well-preserved woman he named Lucy after the fossil skeleton found in 1973 that shed light on human evolution. On either side of Lucy, melting permafrost had reduced the corpses to skeletons. But here was Lucy, well-preserved, and it was an amazing sight,” he says. “She had been obese in life and even 78 years later, her skin was about a quarter of an inch thick. Her lungs and heart and liver didn’t decay because of the insulating blanket of fat around her.” Hultin put cubes from Lucy’s lung, kidney, spleen, liver and heart in a preservative to carry back on a commercial airliner. When he got home, he shipped the specimens to Taubenberger. A few days later came the amazing news, Taubenberger’s team found fragments of the virus. Eight years later, they finished deciphering the virus’ entire genetic code. While that adventure is over, Hultin has not forgotten Brevig’s residents. Before he left with Lucy, he made two 3-metre crosses for the cemetery to replace ones that had fallen. A year later, he returned with a plaque for the crosses that lists the names of all 72 people buried there. Recently, Hultin, went again to Brevig, accompanied by a documentary film crew, and presented the villagers with framed photos of his digs and a printout of the virus’ complete genetic sequence. “I wanted to show my gratitude to them,” he says. “Enormous benefit will come out of this thing. Lucy is going to contribute to better antiviral drugs and better vaccines.” INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006, 65

thinkLIFE technology

Betting on the future

Supercomputers are poised to cause a major financial crash, writes Arnaud de Borchgrave

merican gross domestic product is US$10 trillion a year. A staggering amount when you realize that one trillion seconds ago was 29,000 years before Jesus Christ. A billion hours ago, human beings and their ancestors were in the Middle Paleolithic Age, or the Stone Age. And now there are supercomputers that can handle several trillion moves per second (e.g., Google’s search engines). IBM’s latest speed demon handles 180 teraflops (180 trillion calculations in a single second – machines that can go back in time when the first multicellular organisms appeared on earth about 1 billion years ago, or go forward and extrapolate from the ever-faster biotech breakthroughs that will extend the human lifespan to 150, 200, even 250 years in the 22nd century, by which time predict some inventor scientists the bio brain will have fused with mechanical teraflops. Sandia National Laboratories’ “Red Storm” computer has already modeled how much explosive power it would take to destroy an asteroid hurtling toward earth. Increasingly these teraflop capabilities are also helping some hedge funds place ever larger amounts of bets on the future of anything and everything – a total now of about $300 trillion in the derivatives market from how nanotechnology will impact biotechnology and the human lifespan to how hostilities against Iraq will drive up oil prices. Some speculative bets are predicated on Israel striking Iran first and Iran’s retaliatory operations in the Persian Gulf propelling oil up to $200 a barrel – by this time next year. Will Israel hit Iran’s nuclear facilities before next November’s Congressional elections – or after? The

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U.S. will be blamed either way, but if before November, the Republicans could lose both houses of Congress? How would this, in turn, affect the global chessboard? Regulatory bodies on both sides of the Atlantic are increasingly concerned about a derivatives meltdown. Experts say the chances of a global financial tsunami are 15 to 20 percent. The time frame is left vague but they clearly have the foreseeable future in mind. In 1998, Long-Term Capital Management, with “miracle” worker John Meriwether of Salomon Brothers fame at the helm – backed up by two Nobel-prize winning economists, and a former vice chairman of the Federal Reserve – hit the proverbial iceberg. The 80 founding members had ponied up $10 million apiece – almost $1 billion out of the starting gate. To head off a total hedge fund eclipse in 1998, the New York Fed quickly corralled 14 mega firms – e.g., Goldman Sachs, Merrill Lynch, UBS, J.P. Morgan – to each kick in between $100 million and $350 million to bail out LTCM with $3.7 billion. If the Fed hadn’t launched the lifeboats, the collapse of the Russian boom in 1998, that triggered two weeks later LTCM’s one-bad-bet-too-many, would have produced a global depression. The Senate Banking Committee has just held hearings on hedge funds and derivatives. The immigration and U.S. border crisis and Gen. Michael Hayden’s hearings as the new head of the CIA demoted major news about what was said to minor news briefs that made some inside pages. Television demonstrated yet again it is to news what bumper stickers are to philosophy; networks ignored the story.

Government interference with a regulatory regime in the largely unregulated hedge funds was rejected by all present as a cure that might precipitate the very events the hearings were designed to defuse. But if the industry wasn’t dancing with wolves, the mixed metaphor had it skating on thin ice. Hall of Fame investor Warren Buffett has warned derivatives are “weapons of mass destruction time bombs both for the parties that deal in them and the economic system.” The dangers, says Buffett, “while now latent are potentially lethal.” Everything from futures, forwards and options to calls, leaps and swaps are potential detonators. There is a Derivatives Strategy Hall of Fame, the Fixed Income Analysts Society Hall of Fame and the Risk Hall of Fame. One of the few math geniuses to belong to all three is Oldrich Vasicek, a founding partner of Moody’s KMV. He was this year’s presenter at the 12th Annual Global Derivatives Trading & Risk conference on May 9 in Paris. Only mavens could understand the dialectology that was so much gobbledygook to the layman. Backwardation anyone? That’s Futures markets where shorter-dated contracts trade higher than longer-dated ones. Black-Scholes? An equation for valuing plain “vanilla” options for which Fischer Black and Myron Scholes shared the 1973 Nobel Prize. Convexity? A financial instrument has convexity if its price increases (or decreases) faster (or slower) than “corresponding changes in the underlying price.” The “Put-Call Parity Theorem” or the “Quanto Option” are but two expressions in the language spoken by the real masters of the universe. LTCM’s

masters got their “swaptions” wrong and the universe almost tanked. Richard McCormack, a former undersecretary of state for economics, and senior adviser at the Center for Strategic and International Studies, testified late May, “The challenge we have now... is to correct, if we can, any structural or technical problems that could increase the likelihood of systemic risk in the event of future shock... History suggests we may not be totally successful in this effort of prevention, and that future financial market turmoil is likely to resonate in the derivative area.” Moreover, McCormack said there is no such thing as a permanent fix to problems in derivatives. A year ago, McCormack wrote, “the global economy today resembles a large truck racing down the highway at 70 miles an hour, with four or five bald tires. The odds are the truck will make it to its destination intact. But a major accident is always possible.” For years, those wealthy enough to

hedge their bets and ante up between $1 million and $10 million and higher for a hedge fund ride have told this reporter they were averaging 30 percent a year for five consecutive years before losing “a little” in the past year. Linda Davies’ “Into the Fire” says the derivatives trader is like “a bookie once removed taking bets on people making bets.” But the bookies are now mathematicians and physicists who design ever more sophisticated financial instruments. The two principals of H.C. Wainright Economics, an investment-strategy firm, raised the speculative bar by writing in the Wall Street Journal recently, “the dollar, the world’s mightiest currency, has lost more than 60 percent of its gold value in the past four years.” And you thought we’d gone off the gold standard in 1971. Think again. Bone up on the asymmetrical correlation of Latin America’s neo-Marxist resurgency and the half-trillion-dollar Iraq/Afghan war tab – and fasten your seat belt.

“

Regulatory bodies on both sides of the Atlantic are increasingly concerned about a derivatives meltdown. Experts say the chances of a global financial tsunami are 15 to 20 percent. The time frame is left vague but they clearly have the foreseeable future in mind

”

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006, 67

feelLIFE

sport

World Cup, Germany 2006

Chris Forster’s down-under take on football’s big show

he World Cup passion still runs through the veins of John Adshead. The man who masterminded the ultimate New Zealand sporting fairytale and guided the humble All Whites all the way through to the finals in Spain, is happy to soak up the action 24 years later. Adshead is still smarting from an acrimonious end to his troubled time in charge of the New Zealand Knights, after their dead-last finish in Australia’s fledgling A League. But the prospect of a 32 team tournament featuring unlikely nations like Togo and Trinidad and Tobago – not to mention the Australians – has rekindled the Kiwi icon’s fires.

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The world’s biggest sporting event is unfolding in the industrial heartland of Europe. Hosts Germany kicked off the extravaganza against Costa Rica in Munich on June the 9th, and we won’t find a champion of the world until after 64 matches of extreme patriotism and sheer drama culminate in the final in Berlin in the early hours of Monday morning (South Pacific time) July the 10th. In a part of the world where rugby, league and even Aussie Rules dominate the media landscape it’s easy to forget there is only one game for the vast majority of citizens on planet Earth. Football – or soccer as it’s called in

America and Australia – is nothing less than an obsession to everyone from the working class towns in the North of England to the poorest village in the Ivory Coast. The British live for their weekly fix at their local stadium. Barefoot kids in the dusty streets of West Africa dream of being the next Didier Drogba, and the unbelievable wealth and fame of being a top professional footballer. Every four years the World Cup comes around and you get the exotic prospect of matches like Mexico versus Angola in Hanover, or tiny Togo playing Switzerland in Dortmund. Then there’re the heavyweights.

“

The game has never climbed the same heights in New Zealand since John Adshead’s heyday. Rugby and league have the professional bastions in New Zealand, and soccer failed to capitalise on its time in the sun and has floundered in the backwaters for most of the past two decades

”

Brazil – the brilliant defending champs and hot favourites to lift the most prized trophy for a sixth time, and make their fourth consecutive final, with superstars Ronaldinho and Ronaldo at the helm. Argentina – the supremely talented two times champs with a wealth of talented players from all the world’s great leagues anxious to return to the golden days when Maradona was king of the globe. Italy – supremely organised, often brilliant but full of volatile personalities – desperate to erase the memories of their embarrassing defeat in Korea four years ago. Germany – write off the hosts at your peril. Their lead-up form has been dreadful but the German have ways of lifting for the big occasions, especially in their own backyard. Holland – described as the best team never to win a World Cup. Will need goalscoring machine Ruud van Nistelrooy and captain Edwin van der Sar to be at their best to make the last four. England – arguably the most gifted midfield in the world game with Frank Lampard, Joe Cole and Stephen Gerrard. Rated as the best English team since the 1966 champions. But the uncertainty over the fitness of star striker Wayne Rooney may come back to bite coach Sven Goran Eriksson in his last stand of a controversial reign. Other countries who may threaten or surprise – include the star-studded Czech Republic, free-flowing Portugal and their massively under-achieving neighbours Spain. France have been in decline since 1998 but still have talent to burn, while the main African threats will this time come from neighbours Ghana and Ivory Coast. Australia’s presence gives armchair critics in our part of the world someone to

love or loathe depending on which side of the Tasman your loyalties are. With so many great players, intriguing contests and bizarre possibilities it’s no wonder John Adshead plans to enjoy the tournament without the distractions of a full time football job. The All Whites’ tortured path through to the searing heat of Spain all those years ago is part of New Zealand sporting folklore. Wynton Rufer, Steve Woodin, Frank van Hattum and current national coach Ricki Herbert became household names. When they got to the finals – they performed heroically in a 4-nil defeat to favourites Brazil – gave the Scots a scare before going down 5-2 – and were unlucky to lose 3-nil to the Russians. They were the Kiwi part-timers who dared to compete on the big stage. “Back in my day World Cups were a bit like rugby. You could pick the semi-finalists before the tournament began. But today the gap between the top teams and the rest has narrowed and anyone who wants to gamble big money on the top four is taking a huge risk”. Adshead is clearly relishing the prospect of being a spectator this time around. “The World Cup is so much bigger to me now. When I was there it was like going to work. I look at it now and think how fantastic it would to be there. Then I think – hang on, I have been! “Over the next four weeks of intense competition a marvellous story will arise. A story of massive expectation and disappointment , and sheer joy”. So who’s our football pioneer picking? He likes Brazil’s chances naturally, although reckons star striker Ronaldo “is not the player he used to be”. Adshead won’t write off the Germans –

“simply because they always rise to the occasion at a World Cup, and are even more dangerous on home soil”. The English-born gentleman also believes his country of origin has the talent and squad to win this time around, perhaps their best chance ever. He’s also picking the Australians as a real chance to get through to the second round. “Take out Brazil, who will probably win all three of their games, and the Aussies will be targeting their first game against Japan and their final pool match against Croatia. They’ve got a team of hardened professionals these days and some real strike power”. The game has never climbed the same heights in New Zealand since John Adshead’s heyday. Rugby and league have the professional bastions in New Zealand, and soccer failed to capitalise on its time in the sun and has floundered in the backwaters for most of the past two decades. The Knights (originally the Kingz), have been way off the pace since admission to the Australian club competitions. New Zealand’s last shot at the big time ended in a string of embarrassing defeats at the Confederations Cup in France in 2003. Since then the public have been starved of internationals until a more ambitious game plan by new coach Herbert. He broke a two year drought in New Zealand’s international programme with a couple of encouraging wins over Malaysia on home soil earlier in the year, then two defeats in Chile. He’s managed to get most of our top players overseas together for a four match European tour including a friendly against mighty Brazil on June the 4th – before returning to England in August for matches against Charlton Athletic and Ryan Nelsen’s Blackburn Rovers. Australia’s decision to exit our qualifying pool and try their luck in Asia for the 2010 World Cup in South Africa could also be a blessing in disguise to New Zealand. Although if they get past all the Pacific minnows there’s still the highly difficult playoff against a South American or Asian side. The Australians have made it this time, for the first time in 30 years – and you will never be able to take away what John Adshead achieved with his battling All Whites in 1982.

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006, 69

feelLIFE

health

You’ll catch your death of cold!

Or maybe not, writes Claire Morrow

ell it’s the time of year that I am regularly taken to my bed in exhaustion, bewildered by my inability to correct several common misconceptions about colds and flu’s. Everyone else is in bed from some virus or other, and I am patting my fevered brow, trying to persuade my family that going out with wet hair will not cause me to succumb. Upper respiratory illnesses (colds and flu) are caused by viruses or bacterium. These are small primitive barely-lifeforms that colonise your body. They do not know whether you are wearing a jumper or not. Contagious illnesses are spread by contact with people, not by exposure to cold.

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Researchers at the American National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases have suggested that colds and flu’s are more common in winter because we spend more time indoors, increasing the opportunity for viruses to spread among people. In cold months, the relative humidity is lower, which helps viruses live longer in the air, and the cold weather can cause dryness in the mucous membranes that line our noses, making it easier for viruses to invade. Children get the most colds because they have no pre-existing immunity. A breastfeeding child gets the antibodies of its mother through her milk, but this pro-

tection lasts only as long as the child is breastfed, and they don’t get to keep the antibodies. Based on no scientific evidence whatsoever, I submit that small babies don’t tend to get colds because they lack the motor skills to acquire them from other children. Second and subsequent children spend much more time being patted by snotty hands and trawling around to playgrounds, and they seem to have more colds and flu’s. Just a theory. The elderly – curiously – get less colds and flu’s. A lifetime of exposure has expended considerable protection. Unfortunately, if they do become ill, the very young and very old are at more risk of serious complications.

“

Echinacea has been clinically proven to make no difference whatsoever, and I notice it has fallen out of fashion. Vitamin C has been reliably shown to make a very small difference to the severity of cold symptoms in people who take a normal dose prophylactically

”

Colds and flu’s are not the same thing, and conventional wisdom about the differences are more or less accurate. Influenza virus causes a more severe, generalized illness. There is fever and general symptoms such as joint pain, headache, fatigue, and utter misery. The flu is the one that lands you in bed. A cold is one of a group of vaguely similar rhinoviruses (rhino, meaning nose) that causes a runny nose, sore throat and a cough. It’s not nice, but you can live with it. Flu vaccine is developed every year to provide a measure of protection against the particular strains thought to be most prevalent and most dangerous in that year. Obviously, if you catch a different strain, it offers no protection. Flu vaccine sometimes causes a reaction, which feels “flu-like”, but it is not the flu, it is not contagious, and it does not carry risk of complications. The old, the young, people who work with sick people, and anyone else who wants it, should discuss the merits of flu vaccine with their doctor. There is still – it’s true – no cure for the common cold. Flu treatments have proven to be less promising than was hoped, and many have suggested that this type of antiviral drug treatment risks becoming as

overused as antibiotics, and may then not work if the day comes that we really need it. This is really a fairly reasonable argument, and you will be hard pushed to get antiviral medication from your doctor for your next flu. You will have to drink lemon tea and take paracetamol like everyone else. Over the counter cough medicines – sorry, another bugbear – are widely available and widely promoted. They make a lot of money for drug companies (who I disapprove of in this instance), and there is very little evidence that they work. Not surprisingly, it’s the sedating or stimulating medications that are perceived as the most effective. You don’t notice the illness because you’re high. No offence, but that’s what it is. Save your money, and throw an expresso on yourself in the morning, and drink warm milk at night. Take paracetamol for pain or fever. Children are actually more likely to be given “cough medicines” than adults. The ads tell us that caring mummies give their children cough medicine and everyone sleeps better, and it will all seem better in the morning. Numerous studies conducted in 2002, 2004, and 2005 and published in respectable journals of paediatrics have confirmed that over the counter cough syrup is no better than a placebo in reducing cough or improving sleep. A 2004 study showed that parents give young children medication for a variety of reasons. Sometimes the parents give medicine to “ward off” a sniffle to prevent it becoming a full blown cold, sometimes their paediatrician (like mine) suggests a little cough syrup because they feel the need to be doing something. Often, parents will choose a sedating antihistamine, either because they believe it is effective in treating the cold (it isn’t), or because they think they will go mental if they don’t sleep, and are willing to sedate their child to achieve this. This is acceptable to many people as an occasional one off – an ill child on a plane, for example, would seem to warrant it – if your doctor says it is OK, and if you understand that this is an emergency intervention; not a way of life, a medical treatment (unless your child is actually having an allergic reaction), or a long term solution. All effective medicines carry side effects. Studies have also shown that many adults give themselves and their children medication incorrectly, in excess of the normal dose, too often, or for too long. Taking twice as much paracetamol is

no more effective, but risks liver failure. For your standard cold, you are best off with lemon tea and plain old eucalyptus lollies. I have no preference about whether you go to bed or work. If you go to work, practise good hygiene, but actually “bed rest” – like cough lollies – makes you feel a little better, but does nothing to affect the course of the illness. Even amongst people who are not generally prone to herbalism, the natural therapy route is very popular when it comes to colds and flu’s. Echinacea has been clinically proven to make no difference whatsoever, and I notice it has fallen out of fashion. Vitamin C has been reliably shown to make a very small difference to the severity of cold symptoms in people who take a normal dose prophylactically (for example, every day). You get the same number of colds, but don’t feel quite as dreadful – the mechanism by which this might work is not understood, but it is clear that taking mega-doses of vitamin C is of no benefit, and may be harmful. The most common problems are upset tummies or gastritis. The dose, which is effective for achieving this mild effect, is around 250mg – this can be best acquired through juice, without the need to take those acidic little orange lollies. Garlic is actually effective in killing germs in Petri dishes, although it’s efficacy for preventing colds and flu’s in the body is not established. Eat enough of it though, and you are less likely to have contact with other people – from whom, as we know, germs come. As a cautionary tale, extremely large amounts of garlic should not be taken with blood thinners. The person I am thinking of did experience temporary clotting problems as a result of this experiment, and yes – he smelt. I myself take one multivitamin a day, and leave it at that. As it says on the label, vitamin supplements may be effective if dietary intake is inadequate. The children get nothing, except for Panadol, if and only if they have a fever and the fever is making them uncomfortable. The older child gets lemon tea, because it is warm and sweet and feels effective, although it isn’t really. A vaporizer, which increases humidity, and a heater, are occasionally plugged in to alleviate nighttime cough symptoms because warm wet air is less irritating that hot dry air. And the number one way to decrease the spread of cold and flu viruses – wash your hands.

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006, 71

feelLIFE

alt.health

Eat to live

Careful with the grapefruit, writes Suzanne Miller

uranocoumarins is not a paradise holiday boat key on some South American beach. But it is a name to remember. Apparently high amounts of the stuff have been found in grapefruit juice. While that is of no concern to most of us who can continue with our halves of the citrus for breakfast, a study just published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition reports that furanocoumarins can interact dangerously with some drugs. The rate at which some medications, including many prescribed to deal with high cholesterol and blood pressure, enter the blood stream can be elevated by them. Used to be, flavonoids – the elements in grapefruit that make it taste bitter – were blamed. But the U.S. study has found that furanocoumarins in the juice of grapefruit inhibit an intestinal enzyme responsible for the natural breakdown and absorption of a number of drugs. If the enzyme is prevented from acting, blood levels of certain medications can increase and possibly lead to adverse side effects. Scientists are bound to come up with a means of extracting furanocoumarins from grapefruit sooner or later so that people on statin drugs and selected other medicines can eat them fearlessly. But the rest of us who are not taking those medications should be glad of our luck. Grapefruit are high in antioxidants, low in calories, refreshing and delicious – though if you have ever been on the Grapefruit Diet so popular during the 1980s, you probably loathe them. That diet was dire. Every meal began with half a grapefruit, extolled as a guaranteed fat-burner. Calorie intake hovered around a debilitating 800 a day, with what seemed like nothing but boiled eggs and spinach taking supporting roles to the starring citrus. It was enough to put you off them for life.

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The jury is still out on whether half a grapefruit or glass of grapefruit juice three times a day can lower your weight. A 2004 study by the Scripps Clinic in California – sponsored, you should know, by the Florida Department of Citrus – did find participants who added grapefruit to their usual diet and slightly increased their exercise lost a little weight. This led the scientists to wonder whether properties in grapefruit could lower insulin levels, so promoting weight loss. (I’m wondering about that exercise increase.) It shouldn’t matter. The glorious yellow softballs are fine fruit, particularly when they are not treated as something with which to begin or end a meal. Peeled and skinned segments carefully added to the last stages of pan-frying an oily fish like herring, salmon or mackerel cuts through its richness. Peeled segments of pink grapefruit look wonderful (and taste so, too) in a salad bowl of romaine, endive and red radicchio leaves, to which you can add grilled shrimp or chicken breast. Peeling the segments is not hard. Over a bowl to catch the juice, slice through the skin at the top and bottom of the grapefruit with a sharp knife, then carefully peel the rest of the grapefruit with the knife, taking care to cut away the bitter pith. Then use the blade to slice through between the segments. Adapted from Jamie Oliver’s Happy Days with the Naked Chef is this great salad.

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July 2006, 73 Discount applies off the normal suggested retailINVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, price

tasteLIFE

TRAVEL

In Turkey’s Cappadocia

Alan Solomon discovers a land of legend and history

RGUP, Turkey – It was mere minutes by minivan from the door of my cave hotel in Urgup (yes, my hotel room was a cave) to a viewpoint above the Devrent Valley. I was not prepared for what I saw. “The first thing I should tell you,” said my guide, an amiable young man named Uzay, “is, you’re on another planet.” Below me and beside me in this desert land were landforms of a kind I’d never seen on my planet – tall cones the color of sand, clusters of them, some topped with a flat, dark rock but most just conical, like a village of very large, sometimes lumpy dunce caps.

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Volcanoes put them here, but as a plateau, not like this; wind and ice and water made them what they are. “Still, the erosion goes on,” said my guide, in fluent guidespeak. “Most of the erosion takes place in the winter ...” Some visitors moved in among the cones, along rough trails, to get a better feel; on the road below, disgorged busloads of tourists gazed up and snapped photos and gazed up again, trying to make sense of it all. I was 19 photos into my own roll of 36 exposures when I walked over to Uzay, who had let me wander on my own. “Should I be saving film for later?”

He smiled. “This,” replied Uzay, “is nothing.” Then I smiled. Because this, my introduction to Cappadocia, was not “nothing.” And four days later, after exploring much of it by van, foot and hot-air balloon – leaving the horses and bikes for the heartier among us – here’s what I know: Cappadocia, folks, is really something. Bring lots of film. This place, at 4,000 square km roughly the size of greater Auckland, is natural formations that simultaneously defy and invite description, some of that description inevitably and unapologetically ribald.

It is cave homes that date to the Old Testament. It is cave churches that date to early Christianity and entire underground cities that hid those Christians from Roman and other legions. There are still full-color frescoes in those churches, from the time William the Conqueror was conquering in another world far, far away. It is living history: potters working with the same red clay and in the same style as Hittites did millennia ago; women baking delicious bread in crude ovens cut into the sides of canyon walls; weavers re-creating kilims and carpets that were currency on the old Silk Road that cuts through Cappadocia; shepherds with flocks and gatherers with berries and, of course, dealers in postcards and silly trinkets. Part museum and part today, man and nature in wondrous collusion, all set in a landscape that’s beyond lunar – this is the region of Cappadocia. The wonder starts with the land. If these cones and spires and other weird formations had been in Utah instead of in the heart of Turkish Anatolia, it would’ve been one of our first national parks. This is amazing stuff, like the pinnacles at Bryce Canyon – but somehow more curious. The balloon ride – if you do get here, try not to miss the balloon ride – literally gave the overview. Kaili Kidner, an expatriate Brit who is one of two pilot-owners of Kapadokya Balloons, provided the narration and inspiration (and the steering) as we silently floated a couple of hundred feet above the village of Goreme. “That valley,” she said, pointing, “is known locally as `Love Valley,’ for obvious reasons.” The formations were nothing if not graphically, with just a little imagination, um, obviously ... “But there’s another valley over there,” she said, “and we call that `Penisville,’ in case there’s any confusion.” The more vegetably oriented among you might describe these particular hoodoos as mushroomlike. Other forms in these and in neighboring groupings, from the proper angle, may look like Snoopy, a camel or Michelangelo’s “Pieta” – or wherever the creative mind leads. In general, these formations are called “fairy chimneys.” They are found in the Devrent Valley and at Goreme Open Air Museum and Zelve Open Air Museum and at Uchisar and Pasabagi and in places with-

Photography: Rik Deane

out names. All were created of essentially the same stuff and from the same process. Volcanoes (there is some disagreement about which did what and when, but that’s someone else’s problem) spewed spewage called tufa. Some of this material, for reasons volcanologists understand, is softer than the other. The result, a couple of million years later: The erosion wasn’t uniform. So today, we have sloped conical, columnar and other standing formations of relatively soft rock (mainly pumice) sometimes topped by caps of harder rock (primarily basalt). We also have whole canyons, valleys and gorges (which are which doesn’t seem to matter to mapmakers and sign-painters),

explorable on foot or, some of them, on horseback. To name three: The Red Valley is a wow, especially when the light is right (late afternoon is really good). The Ihlara is cut by a stream jumping with trout. The Pigeon’s walls are pocked pigeon holes first created by 4th century monks to collect guano for fertilizer, an enterprise that continued long after the monasteries were pretty well abandoned by the 14th century. Which introduces the human element. Carved into the soft-rock walls of those valleys, canyons and even some broaderbased fairy chimneys, along with pigeon holes, are caves. Thousands of them.

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People did this using their hands and whatever tools were around, possibly as far back as the Old Testament Hittites; only two of today’s existing caves, according to my guide, are fully natural – though it’s likely some of the man-made ones began as natural dents and were enlarged. Eventually, entire cave-settlements were established (some in use into the 1940s – and some, significantly upgraded in most cases, converted into hotels you will love), as well as underground storage facilities and, in some cases, underground shelters for protection against invaders. When early Christians (we’re talking early Christians here, like 1st century), fled from Jerusalem and environs to Asia Minor to escape Roman persecution, many of them found refuge in those caves and underground shelters – some of which were expanded. They also, being Christians, designated some of the caves as churches. Over subsequent centuries, monastic and other Christians added pillars, alcoves and domes to these primitive chapels, and decorated them with frescoes. Those original frescoes were covered over during 8th century, lost to the icon-

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oclasm of Byzantine Emperor Leo III, which banned depiction of biblical personages and scenes (and got him excommunicated by Rome). The movement didn’t last much longer than Leo; by the 10th century, the Cappadocian frescopainters were back doing their thing – and today, it’s those frescoes, most done in the 10th and 11th centuries, that survive in Cappadocia’s cave-churches. Some are rather primitive, even for their time. To compare the best of them, in workmanship and in condition, to the vivid, striking works that survive in, say, the tombs of ancient Egypt would be silly. This is mainly folk art, and scarred folk art at that – victimized by latter-day iconoclasts (primarily Muslims) and thoughtless graffitists (which, judging from their work and initials, cross national, ethnic and religious lines). Imperfect, to be sure. And yet ... To walk into what is a cave, carved out and sculpted by skilled hands more than a thousand years ago, and look up into a dome, again carved out by hand, and see a still-clear image of Jesus surrounded by disciples is, certainly in the context of history, visually and emotionally stunning. Then there are the underground cities. The largest known city, Derinkuyu, is open for tours but still full of mystery; estimates of how many people could live there at any given time range from 6,000 to three times that. Archeologists have found eight levels, and some believe there may be another 12 below those. Those of you who had ant farms as kids can imagine the network of compartments of Derinkuyu and the other buried cities. Dead-end corridors, narrow passageways and rolling blockades kept the inhabitants (human and livestock) safe from soldiers and other enemies; sophisticated (for the time)

systems of ventilation, water distribution and storage kept them breathing, quenched and fed. “No armies were brave enough to come here,” said Uzay. “It was suicide.” (It’s still no picnic. Derinkuyu translates as “deep well”; for tourists, Derinkuyu means “watch your heads.” Exploring these mazes requires a certain amount of bending and stooping, and the seriously claustrophobic might consider staying in the balloon.) Early Christians didn’t create these cities – guesses suggest the labyrinths go back in one form or another to the Hittites (19th century B.C.) – but during the first centuries after Christ and into the time of later Arab invasions they certainly used them to escape persecution. Once again, they built churches. And it’s all here. Plus 14th century mosques and tombs dating to the Seljuks, considered the first ethnic Turks to conquer Anatolia; ornate caravansaries that housed and protected traders who traveled the Silk Road; so much more to contemplate and absorb. But what stays with you, more than the churches and frescoes, is the nature of the place. One afternoon, Uzay and I hiked a couple of miles of the Ihlara Valley. Willows lined the trail along the stream, the Melendiz River, that runs through it. Wild berries were there for the tasting – which we did. Above us were pink canyon walls with their abandoned cave homes and yet more churches – 350 churches in that valley alone – some of which we checked out, most of which we didn’t. At one point, a girl on a donkey rode toward us on the narrow path. Behind her, goats were being urged along by another girl. The goats didn’t say much, but the girls smiled as they passed. Soon after, the bank widened into a brightgreen space, the rippling offering a promise of fresh trout. The far side of the canyon was aglow in the morning light. Here, said Uzay, is where, when he is not guiding, he spends time with his books and his thoughts and his dreams. “Here,” he said, “it’s possible for anyone to find himself. A different world from the city.” A different world than just about any place you have ever seen. It is here, in Turkey, in Cappadocia.

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tasteLIFE

FOOD

Get forked!

A fondue party is the perfect mid-winter dinner party, writes Eli Jameson

erhaps it is because I almost never get to go to restaurants anymore since serial heirs to the Jameson fortune – such as it is – started appearing on the scene in rapid succession, but for the past several years I’ve regarded the simple act of having friends around to dinner as an occasion requiring the most over-the-top cooking possible. Fancying myself equal parts Gordon Ramsay (for the swearing) and Keith Floyd (for the belief that the chef and the food should be marinated in wine), I could spend an entire day making fresh ravioli for a pasta course, stuffing involtini, artfully sculpting veggies for the roasting pan, and in short putting together a feast involving everything short of lobster thermidor and pheasant under glass. Not surprisingly, Mrs Jameson would take to fleeing the house during one of these all-day slurp-and-prep marathons.

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But lately I’ve put away the frippery, regarding it essentially as a childish thing designed more to impress than enjoy. Instead, when people come over now, I simply put out the fondue forks. Bear with me: this is not about recreating some cheesy, pardon the pun, 1970s atmosphere complete with Tom Jones on the stereo and a bowl for guests to toss their car keys in by the front door. This is about resurrecting an ancient – well, centuries-old in any case – tradition that is easy to prepare, low stress for both host and guests, and a great deal of fun. And the good news is, it’s more than just about cheese. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Of course, traditionally fondue is all about the cheese. Like so many things we enjoy today, from simple dinners to lovingly-restored inner city terrace houses, fondue was once the exclusive province

of the poor. Which is a bit ironic, since one can actually spend a fair whack of money putting one together these days. Although there are differing definitions – an old edition of Larousse Gastronomique, for example, defines a fondue as a vegetable preparation that is cooked in butter or oil until it is reduced to a pulp – the classic fondue is in fact a melted cheese-and-wine sauce suitable for dipping bread and other yummy things. Derived from the French word fondre (to melt), it was invented in the Middle Ages by Swiss shepherds who would at night feed themselves, as one would expect, by melting some cheese in a pot and dipping stale bread into it. But this is hardly the only kind of fondue. Along with cheese fondues and, of course, dessert fondues (a relatively recent invention that did not gain popularity until the 1960s), there is also the great range

of deep-fat fondues. Of these, the king is the Fondue Bourguignonne. When I put on a fondue spread, I like to have two pots going for two types. Here is my recipe for a great fondue dinner party, which is a great change from having to run from kitchen to table and back again, breaking the flow of conversation and generally not having a good a time as one could. One needs two fondue pots, and at least one of them should be a good cast-iron or earthenware one for the cheese fondue, which is prone to scorching in a cheaper stainless steel model. For the cheese fondue, one simply needs a good quantity – 650 grams or so – of Swiss cheese, in a ratio of about 2-to-1 emmenthaler to gruyere. Shred the cheeses in a bowl and toss with a teaspoon of corn flour, to help thicken. Crush a clove of garlic and rub it around the inside of the cheese fondue pot, discard, and heat over a medium flame. Add a big splash of white wine and reduce, and then start stirring in the cheese, moving your spoon in a figure-eight fashion. Stir in a little splash of kirsch – it’s a Swiss brandy, and a little derro bottle from the liquor store will last you about a year if all you use it for is this recipe – that’s been mixed with an equal amount of corn flour, add salt, pepper, and a grating of nutmeg, and place over your fondue flame. (Methylated spirits, I have found after much trial-and-error, makes the best fondue fuel). The cheese should be warm and silky. Serve with a loaf of French bread that has been cut into little squares, as well as cornichons, prosciutto, sliced and boiled kipfler potatoes, or just about anything else that takes your fancy. As fun as the cheese fondue is, Fondue Bourguignonne is – for carnivores especially – an even greater treat, even as it is simpler to prepare. Here, all one does it heat a fondue pot full (but not too full, for obvious reasons!) of vegetable oil and set out over a flame. Instead of dipping bread, guests spear bits of meat on their forks and cook them themselves in a sort of northern European equivalent of Mongolian barbeque. I generally set this fondue out with a good rump steak that’s been broken down into squares one-to-two centimetres in size. Sometimes I’ll also put out peeled prawns. Here, I also like to put out some dipping sauces: capers and Dijon mustard (self-explanatory), sour cream and horseradish (ditto) and a nice eggy Bearnaise. The brilliance of all this for the host is that once one has set up the table – which looks especially impressive to the uninitiated guest – the dinner comes together in minutes when it is time to sit down. And great fun can be had deciding penalties for whomever loses their bread or meat in the pot. Cheese and meat fondues are hardly the only fondues one can make. I have a vintage 1970 cookbook dedicated to fondue that includes recipes for lobster fondue, Belgian Parmasean Fondue Cakes (a quadruple-barreled oxymoron if there ever was one), and something called Deep South Fondue. So the next time you’re planning on having a few friends over, surprise them with a couple of fondues. It’s the perfect easy entertaining option on a cold winter’s evening.

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seeLIFE PAGES

Sent to the Russian front Michael Morrissey rediscovers World War 2, and is urged to smack his cuckoo MOSCOW 1941: A City and its People at War By Roderic Braithwaite, Profile Books, $69.99

n recent years there has been a rising wave of books about the massive German-Russian conflict, by far the largest segment of World War Two in terms of fighting and fatalities. This is in part because (as noted by Braithwaite), “Since 1991 a large number of wartime documents have been systematically published in Russia.” The release has, in terms of war time history, created the equivalent excitement of the Dead Sea Scrolls or the Gnostic Gospels. Bestselling Antony Beevor, Richard Overy and David Glantz have been prominent among these new historians fired by this archival glasnost. Readers who seek a hugely detailed account of this war should turn to The Road to Stalingrad by John Erickson or Barbarossa to Berlin by Brian Taylor. Braithwaite’s lucidly written account provides an overview of the military situation but focuses more on the human side. He has personally interviewed over 70 individuals from all walks of life – nurses, cameramen, writers, dancers, actors as well as tank drivers, generals, diplomats and officials.

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The emphasis on artists gives a unique portrait of a city still maintaining its cultural life even while being bombed, as German armies pushed at its outskirts. Parallels are made with London which was more heavily bombed than Moscow – the Russian city had better air defences. Stalin’s seeming ostrich-head-in the sand attitude to the mounting German threat is explored. Braithwaite notes that Stalin, perhaps hopefully, rather than realistically, assumed an attitude much the same as the British. When the huge German war machine finally struck without declaration of war, Stalin was temporarily prostrated – whether shaken to the core or testing the loyalty of his comrades, Braithwaite argues is an unresolvable ambiguity but in any event Stalin soon took a firm grip and eventually led his nation to victory. In the early stages of the war, he showed the same utter ruthlessness that characterised his entire career. He was of course backed up by the meddlesome NKVD who harassed Russian military professionals like the brilliant and brave Rokossovoski at every turn. But by 1943, Stalin had uncharacteristically begun to “trust” his generals – above all Marshall Zhukov – to get on with the job, in fatal contrast to Hitler who interfered right up to the end. Zhukov and Rokossovoski fig-

ure most prominently among the generals in Braithwaite’s account but he also tells of the curious case of Alexei Vlasov who played a major part in defending Moscow, then joined the German side in an attempt to fight Bolshevism. The Germans, however, never trusted him and his small army never saw much fighting. Eventually, he was recaptured, tortured and executed. Post-war, the ever paranoid and power-mad Stalin made sure that Zhukov and Rokossovoski, two of his finest generals, were demoted in status and popularity. In a spirit parallel with the British, when a musical comedy being shot was disrupted by the outbreak of war and the actors wanted to volunteer for the front, they were ordered to complete the film. Many soldiers read War and Peace and were re-inspired. It is surprising to read that Napoleon’s army actually reached Moscow in a shorter time than Hitler’s. The daring parade in Moscow Square in the winter of 1941, together with Stalin’s speech, stirred the nation deeply. The defences of Moscow was an enterprise unparalleled in military history with some 600,000 people – mainly women – digging trenches and anti-tank ditches in case Moscow was invaded. This gripping narrative puts a human face on the awfulness

YOU MUST DIE ONCE By Ian D. Robinson, Harper Collins, $29.99

of war. Terrible though war is, it arouses a spirit of unity and courage among the populace rarely seen in peacetime.

CANDY By Luke Davies, Allen & Unwin, $27.99

ot to be confused with an earlier work of satiric eroticism by Terry Southern, this is a recent Australian novel which brilliantly, if depressingly, shows the destruction that heroin addiction brings – especially to the young and the beautiful. Candy or Candice (to give her full name) is lured into heroin by her addict boyfriend but at the same time she is a willing volunteer who has that typical mixture of reckless daring and it-won’t-happen-to-me attitude so typical of the young. The writing is immediate, sensuous – even at the darkest times – and deceptively casual. In other words, a covert literary skill of a high order is always at work. Candy confirms the notion – often noted in earlier reports before but seldom so eloquently explored , that heroin addiction gets such a grip that people will steal, defraud and betray even those closest to them to maintain their habit. That the young beautiful and in love Candy will prostitute herself to earn those extra dol-

lars necessary to buy more heroin is almost a given. The narrator shows no remorse even as he exploits and cheats people of their money. Nor does Candy spend time regretting wheedling money from the hapless loser Colin by hinting that sexual delights are just around the corner, even though none are ever delivered. When the two try to cold turkey because Candy is pregnant, their sufferings are outlined in remorseless detail. So much so, that one almost feels sympathy when they re-addict. Since Davies has, so to speak, got so far under the skin of his characters, we feel less than judgmental when they relapse. In the end, Candy’s breakdown gives her the welcome break she needs to get free of the habit and from her partner, the nameless narrator. What Candy shows is that the youthful couple while being addicted to heroin are also addicted to each other. The novel ends on a fragile note of hope – both have been de-toxed and are to restart their lives in separate cities. For this couple who have descended to what must be one of the lower rungs of psychological hell, there has been a redemption of sorts. We wonder if they will both stay “clean’ and feel that at least they have been given a chance to do so. Good luck to them and God bless.

eaders of Gantsara: Alone Across Mongolia will have figured out that Ian Robinson is unlikely to be found sipping a cocktail in a spa in a Club Med hideaway. He travels alone to lonely places where people, cooked meals and shelter are scarce. Which as I recall from my days of tramping makes running hot water, hot soup and a warm fire all seem like the nicest things in the universe. I read this book in the recent cold snap and shared one or two empathetic shivers with Robinson but mine were experienced inside a house with food and hot water always close at hand. There is something curiously comforting about reading someone else’s travel travails from the hidden comfort of warm underwear while clutching a hot cup of Milo. A key difference from the Mongolian sojourn is that while cast adrift, as it were, on the Mongolian steppes, Robinson often wondered why he had made the trip but on this latest Tibetan journey he had one purpose firmly in mind – a pilgrimage to Gang Ripoche, Mt Kailas, “The Precious Snow” which for Tibetan Buddhists, Hindu Jains and Asian Shamans is the home of the gods, the most sacred place in the cosmos. If you are none of the above, I guess it’s just another remote though beautiful mountain. I believe that all mountains have potential spiritual clout – it’s that upward journey in the direction of the heavens, that distancing of yourself from earthly cares that send the mind, spirit and soul soaring. It is surely no coincidence that Moses was given his commandments atop a mountain, that Jesus Christ ascended a mountain and that monasteries and places of spiritual enlightenment are often found atop peaks. Unlike the Mongolian system of hospitality which allows anyone to enter a yert at any time, the Tibetans have a stricter sense of invitation which means that Robinson was sometimes turned away even when frozen, saturated and hungry. Within the Buddhist parameters, he learns from the Dalai Lama’s writings, this is all part of his spiritual advancement. The cold, aloneness and discomfort on nearly every page – which might seem to create a certain monotony in the narrative – is oddly not monotonous at all. For a

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start, there’s the suspense in finding out if this particular remote Tibetan household will welcome him in or not; there’s the frequent changing of horses – 12 in all – and their different temperaments; and there’s the almost surreal encounters with surprisingly trusting police. I guess one lone horseman, unarmed and apparently exhausted, in the middle of nowhere didn’t appear too threatening. I am left wondering if Robinson will go trekking in (say) the Andes or Alaska – the world has plenty of cold places after all. Then there are African deserts which combine hot and cold – as, unexpectedly, does Tibet. My not so wild surmise is Ian Robinson will find further climes to test his spiritual and physical mettle. May the Force ride with him!

DEPARTURE LOUNGE By Chad Taylor, Jonathan Cape, $34.99

had Taylor is a young writer who has been going places for a while now. Dark places. Noir zones. Cities by night. After all, 80 per cent – and rising – of New Zealanders live in cities and at night there’s plenty of neon about. While it’s true we like sport and the outdoors, that guy in the black singlet who is a rugged bushman now looks less like a typical New Zealander than he did 50 years ago. With the internet café and the downtown drinking hole, we have become a nation of lounge lizards whose idea of hunting has become a lurid pop on a video. screen. Taylor likes night, shadows, the moon rather than the sun. There’s no danger of getting sunburn from reading Chad Taylor’s books. Appropriately then, Taylor’s fifth novel begin in the Ponsonby Nine Billiards Lounge. Billiard lounges have a grungy sleazy atmosphere that somehow suggests the low level crime which figures prominently in the book. The plot of Departure Lounge, like so many contemporary novels, has a streak of the obsessive. Caroline has disappeared and Mark, a compulsive burglar, is haunted by memories of her. Burglary, let me observe in passing, is not something I know a lot about except, of course like so many, from being on the “receiving’ – i.e. losing – end. Most of today’s burglars find an unopened window or force a closed one but Mark is of the older style professional

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type interested in bigger game than household trinkets. With Taylor’s observant and experienced novelist’s eyes we get an economic but learned dissertation on the six different kind of safes, on how to drill tumblers, how to use plastic and caps, how to use wet towels to concentrate the blast. The bigger and tougher safes need a jam shot – “a charge exploded inside the door hermetic seal. First you puttied the door, then you trickled nitroglycerine between the door and the frame. and then you set it off and the door blew itself off its own hinges”. Light years away from the technique used to burgle my house. Curiously, I found the burglary-treachery side of Mark more interesting than his obsession with missing Caroline. His laconic descriptions of Auckland by night show Taylor’s keen eye at its best. Taylor’s style which reeks of the noir genre leans more to the Hemingway side than the Raymond Chandler – it has deft control, precision and understatement – just like the old master. Yet full of a dark poetry. Taylor is already acquiring an international underground reputation as a noir cult writer and he is definitely an author to watch.

LUDMILA’S BROKEN ENGLISH By DBC Pierre, Faber & Faber, $35.49

n general, I have been happy with the winners of the Man-Booker prize winner which means if I had read Vernon God Little I may well have been impressed. Winning the Booker prize on your first novel is also an impressive feat. So here is Mr Pierre’s second novel which I must confess did not impress me. This is not from any lack of trying on his part. In fact, his style, in its wild neo-Tom Robbins way, tries so hard it trips over its own tangle of metaphors – or should that be puree? Try this sample on for size: “But in the aura known to rise off brutal shifts of fortune, known to lace its gas with arabesques like squealings of Armenian clarinet, she should’ve have sensed trouble’s nest was made”. This wild rough coruscating gem appears on the third page of the book; as an occasional editor I wanted to pick up my blue pencil and draw a line through its dizzy syntax and mangled metaphor. The editor’s “blue pencil” (itself a metaphor?) was traditionally used by editors for

obscene or purple – i.e. overwritten – passages. Pierre’s style goes beyond purple – it is ultraviolet. Another sample? – “On the wings of stratospheric prayer, it soars into empyrean’s jugular where it joyously sates itself on incarnadine’s blanched ichor bled by knives of metaphysical doubt.” No, that last sentence is mine not Pierre’s but it might well have been his. Here’s another actual Pierre dose: “The sight of his body – a rippling white mouse on browned enamel – didn’t invite reality’s pea to its cup”. I have been lying awake at night (not really) trying to decode this piece of overblown metaphoric cryptography but I have had to admit defeat. We all know what the da Vinci code is about by now but Pierre’s style will have cryptographers busy for years, that is, if they bother. I got so riled about the style I forgot to mention the plot. Plot it has in promising abundance. In a Britain not so distant from now, all is privatised and in an institution symbolically entitled Albion House, two conjoined Siamese twins have been separated after 33 years together. Implausible though it may sound – though dramatically fun – they have opposing personalities; one is a rampant sensualist while the other is a stay-at-home type. Meanwhile, Ludmila, an escapee from a desperately violent Russia, decides to make her way in a democratic land by starting a partner-meeting agency – by now almost the archetypal job of our age along with computer programmer and global manufacturer based in China. Naturally, these divergent plot lines are on an inevitable collision course which almost predictably involves much splatter and gore. This is a book in which nobody has a quiet read at home with their feet up. I’ve no problem with that per se but then there is the dialogue: “Hoh! And listen to me: if you only make the generic noises of gerbil how can you expect me to hurry?” “They’re not generic, grandpa is fallen.” “How do you mean he’s fallen?” “Smack your cuckoo! He’s fallen and won’t move.” Every now and then when Pierre tames his own excesses, one of his metaphors strikes the target. If only his editors or Pierre himself (unlikely of course), could have made a few cuts and tucks here and there one might have warmed to the book but I guess in his case excess has brought success – so who can quarrel with that? Smack your cuckoo!

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seeLIFE MUSIC

Album of the year

Chris Philpott rates one of the year’s best so far, but finds a Salmonella Dub dub disappointing SALMONELLA DUB Remixes and Radio Cuts

GOMEZ How We Operate

SNOW PATROL Eyes Open

t’s really an unquestionable fact that Salmonella Dub have achieved far beyond what anyone could ever have imagined, so given their status as one of New Zealand’s most successful musical exports to Britain, it seems fitting that they would release an album commemorating the path taken from here to there. Remixes and Radio Cuts is primarily a remix album but it’s also a kind of concept album, with each track chosen because it ties a musical and metaphorical journey Salmonella Dub are taking the listener on. Highlights like “Drifting”, “Savage” and “For the Love of It” fit in perfectly, while also providing several massive hits to keep the listener interested. The only real surprise is the similarity between several of the remix tracks and their original counterparts. I found it disappointing that there is a lack of material actually bringing something new to the table, and for that reason Remixes and Radio Cuts comes across like a greatest hits collection missing the greatest hits. Remixes and Radio Cuts comes with an interesting DVD, but while the CD is a good listen, it simply isn’t as engaging as it could have been. This is definitely an album for Salmonella Dub fans.

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fter achieving major indie success with their 1998 Mercury prize-winning debut Bring It On, and its brilliant follow up Liquid Skin, Gomez went through several struggles with low album sales and the eventual collapse of their label, Hutt Records, which all but dissolved their recording deal. Now working with ATO Records, Gomez have come forward with their seventh studio album, How We Operate, and the outlook is all good. While holding on to the stripped down, acoustic core of their unique sound, songwriter Ben Ottewell and co have managed to create what is arguably their most mainstream and accessible work. Starting with the incredible ballad “Notice”, How We Operate plays out like an album from a band looking to regain its momentum, and for the most part it is a success. On the down side, I can’t shake the feeling that a couple of the tracks were poorly chosen, particularly “Hamoa Beach” which doesn’t seem to fit in with the rest of the album. However, highlights like “Woman! Man!” and “All Too Much” make slights like these minor in comparison. How We Operate is songwriting at its best, and an absolute must for fans of the laid back acoustic-folk sound.

can only surmise that one of the hardest things for a band like Snow Patrol to do is follow up a major success, like 2004’s Final Straw, with something that is an improvement on their previous work. So when I listened to the first couple of tracks from new album Eyes Open – including second track “Hands Open”, which is still probably the weakest song here – and wasn’t being moved in any great way, I began to feel a little disappointed. I was expecting sheer brilliance from Snow Patrol this time around and this just was not it. However, the more I listened to Eyes Open, the more I seemed to enjoy it. In the last month, every track has grown on me, like beautiful love song “Chasing Cars”, closer “The Finish Line” and epics like “Make This Go On Forever” and “Set The Fire To The Third Bar (complete with guest appearance by Martha Wainwright), all of which have propelled this album onto my list of favourites for the year. Eyes Open probably won’t grab you immediately, but don’t let that put you off. This is undoubtedly one of the best releases of the year to date.

seeLIFE MOVIES

The Break-Up

Click through the Break-Up Break-up so-so, Click should be hot THE BREAK-UP Rated: M Starring: Vince Vaughn, Jennifer Aniston, Vincent D’Onofrio, Judy Davis and John Michael Higgins Directed by: Peyton Reed

reaking up is so very, very hard to do, or so claims a pop standard of yesteryear. At times, you’ll feel the same way about watching The Break-Up. It’s so very, very hard to do, too. Bad buzz has been circling this Vince Vaughn-Jennifer Aniston comedy for months. Is it as bad as feared? Not quite. Is it better than expected? Not much.The film is a wildly uneven human comedy without recognizable human characters. Mr. Vaughn’s Chicago tour guide, Gary Grobowski, is a selfish oaf through 99 percent of the movie, while Ms. Aniston’s art gallery salesperson, Brooke Meyers, is an indecisive whiner. Maybe Brooke likes Gary because he always gives her reason to whine. In any event, their meet-cute introduc-

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tion, coupling and happy moments are revealed quickly. Then the movie gets down to the nasty business of their breakup, and the whole thing starts to drag. They share a condo and must continue to do so. Of course, they do everything possible to make each other miserable. The audience feels their pain but not in the manner intended. Inevitably, with its strong cast, The Break-Up has genuinely funny moments. Mr. Vaughn is co-producer and co-writer and, just as inevitably, has the best lines and the most footage. Some of his riffs are first-rate, even when Gary’s comic abrasiveness grows more abrasive than comic. Despite Brooke’s heavy whine factor, Ms. Aniston manages to be appealing and occasionally even vulnerable. As celebrity followers know, the co-stars have danced around the topic of being an item. Here, their personal chemistry is OK, but it’s not sizzling. Virtually all the supporting characters fall into carefully packaged “types.” The film is cast so lavishly that a silken and satiny Ann-Margret has little more than a walk-on as Ms. Aniston’s aggressively agreeable mother.

Other cast members are more fortunate. John Michael Higgins is hilarious as Ms. Aniston’s brother, who adores entertaining a captive audience with a cappella selections from his all-male singing group, the Tone Rangers. The always-welcome Judy Davis is flamboyantly fabuloso as Ms. Aniston’s nostril-flaring, tyrannical boss. Vincent D’Onofrio has always been a master of body English, and his awkwardness as Mr. Vaughn’s hard-working brother is good physical comedy. But then the movie goes back to Brooke and Gary, and the laughs start to fade. Director Peyton Reed gets off to a promising start with a well-orchestrated dinner party fiasco. Otherwise, his direction is as inconsistent as the script. Like so many contemporary movies, The BreakUp doesn’t know when to call it quits, and the film finally expires after several false endings. The movie also rivals The Da Vinci Code as the season’s most verbose talkfest. Ultimately, The Break-Up may serve you best by reminding you of how good When Harry Met Sally was.

Match point

Click

CLICK Rating: TBC Starring: Adam Sandler, Kate Beckinsale, Christopher Walken, David Hasselhoff and Henry Winkler Directed by: Frank Coraci

n Hollywood-speak, Click is “high concept”. In a world where life now moves at breakneck pace, where the treadmill never slows down and there’s always another bill to pay or mouth to feed, how many of us haven’t wished at some point that they could simply freeze time, put their life on hold, and just get their breath back while the rest of the world was on pause. Screenwriters Steve Koren and Mark O’Keefe have touched a nerve with this comedy that’s guaranteed to be a hit this winter. As Sony Pictures themselves are pitching it: “Michael Newman, (Adam Sandler) is married to the beautiful Donna (Kate Beckinsale) and they have two terrific kids, Ben and Samantha. But he doesn’t get to see them much because he’s putting in long, hard hours at his architectural

firm in the elusive hope that his ungrateful boss (David Hasselhoff) will one day recognize his invaluable contribution and make him a partner. “Once he’s on easy street, he’ll be able to lavish attention on the wife and kiddies. At least, that’s what he tells himself. “After staying up all night to work, a tired Michael becomes frustrated because he can’t even figure out which of his remotes will turn on the TV set. Michael sets out to find the perfect device to operate all his electronic equipment and stumbles into the back room of a Bed, Bath & Beyond, where eccentric employee Morty (Christopher Walken) gives him an experimental one-of-a-kind souped-up gadget guaranteed to change his life. “Morty wasn’t kidding either. Soon Michael is master of his domain, turning on every appliance with the click of a button. But the device has other, more startling functions. It can somehow muffle the barking of Sundance, the family dog – and even more astoundingly fast forward through an annoying quarrel with his wife.

“Michael is fascinated by his new toy and a little freaked out as well. He decides to pay another visit to Morty, the guy who sold him the mysterious device. Morty tells Michael he gave him exactly what he asked for – a universal remote that lets him control his universe. Right before Michael’s astonished eyes, Morty demonstrates the device’s mind-boggling advanced features, including a function that lets Michael travel back and forth through his life at different speeds. “Michael quickly becomes addicted to this new rush of power, which literally allows him to have his cake and eat it too. “But before he knows it, the remote is programming him rather than the other way around. And try as he might, a panicked Michael can’t stop the device from deciding which events of his life he’ll experience and which ones he’ll miss. Only then does he begin to truly appreciate and embrace his life, the good, the bad and the ugly.” Couldn’t put it better myself. This movie is Bruce Almighty with a remote control and should add a few more zeroes to Sandler’s paycheque.

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006, 87

seeLIFE DVDs

R emembering h istory From Kiwi triumph to Olympic tragedy

The World’s Fastest Indian PG, 127 minutes

porting a twitchy smile and a Kiwi twang, Anthony Hopkins scoots through The World’s Fastest Indian a light and lively true-life tale of the New Zealand eccentric who, in the 1960s, set a land-speed record on his patched-together vintage motorbike. Written and directed by Roger Donaldson and populated with colorful supporting types – a Hollywood transvestite motel clerk, a Mexican-American used car salesman, a spunky old widow (played by the charming Diane Ladd) – the film follows Hopkins’ retiree, Burt Munro, from his messy workshed in Southland to the Bonneville Salt Flats in Utah where the starry-eyed codger’s improbable dreams are realized. Munro’s vehicle is a customized 1920s Indian motorcycle (Hopkins pronounces it motor-sickle), augmented with salvaged car parts and brandy corks. When he shows up at Bonneville, the professional racers there get a big chuckle out of the man and his machine. When he breaks the world record – rocketing more than 320km/h along the endless lake bed – the laughs turn to awe. It’s giving nothing away to say that Munro makes it to Bonneville, and breaks the record – which apparently still stands – on his two-wheel contraption. The World’s Fastest Indian is one of

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those follow-your-dream yarns where obstacles are there to be surmounted, and where all’s well that ends well. Donaldson, who steered his star across trickier seas in 1984’s The Bounty (Hopkins was Bligh to Mel Gibson’s Fletcher Christian), doesn’t burden the story with anything too dark, or too troubling. And Hopkins snaps on his goggles, tucks his pant legs into his socks and vrooms into the record books – with glee. Reviewed by Steven Rea

MUNICH R16, 164 minutes

an a nation claim to be righteous if it organizes a hit team to murder murderers? Does killing killers beget more killing, more innocent casualties, the quintessential vicious cycle? If everyone demands an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, will half the world be blind and the other half toothless before the killing stops? Until the killing stops and a truce endures, will there ever be peace in the Middle East? Steven Spielberg asks those anvilheavy questions in his compelling movie, Munich. The film is a high-octane blend of fact and fiction, a taut account of Israel’s response to the massacre of 11 Israeli athletes and coaches at the 1972 Olympics by a band of Black September terrorists. I covered those Olympics, solo, for a US newspaper.

Was awestruck by Olga Korbut’s gymnastic magic. Typed the protest when the U.S. basketball team got robbed of its gold medal by biased officials. And then, heartsick, stood there, for hours, on the hillside, with hundreds of others, staring down at 31 Connollystrasse. All of us squinting at the man on the balcony, the one wearing the ski mask, the one cradling a machine gun, yammering at the frail, blonde woman in the powderblue skirt. The man setting new, ominous deadlines, threatening to kill the hostages one by one. The color scheme in Munich was muted pastels. Security was minimal, 2,000 unarmed men and women wearing powder blue, a skimpy budget of $2 million. Let the record show that they spent $1.6 billion on security in Athens in 2004. The Palestinian killers had scrambled over a short, flimsy chain-link fence in the early hours of Sept. 5, given a boost by some drunk, naive American athletes staggering back to the Olympic Village after curfew. The killers wore warmup suits and carried duffel bags crammed with machine guns and grenades. The terrorists and the hostages had been airlifted from the Olympic Village to Furstenfeldbruck in two helicopters. Gunfire erupted, lasting for 75 minutes. And then, as armored vehicles trundled onto the runway, having been delayed in gawker traffic on the highway, a terrorist tossed a grenade into one helicopter, set-

ting it ablaze, killing five of the hostages. Another stood on the tarmac and riddled the other four, helplessly roped together, with machine-gun bullets. “They’re all gone,” said Jim McKay, several hours later, his mood, his words a stark contrast to the canary-yellow ABC blazer he wore. The Palestinians had killed two Israelis earlier. They first shot wrestling coach Moshe Weinberg when he tried to block their entrance while shouting a warning to the others. They killed weightlifter Yossef Romano for resisting. They tossed Weinberg’s body out the door and onto the pavement. The games resumed the next day, with Weinberg’s blood still staining the cobblestones in front of 31 Connollystrasse. I know. I checked. It was terrorism taken to a new, nightmarish level, with nine million people watching worldwide. These were to be the games of peace and serenity, a golden chance for Germany to alter the image of a war-mongering nation that annihilated six million Jews in death camps like Dachau, six miles away. Serenity shattered in so many deadly pieces, like shrapnel from a grenade. Spielberg based his gripping movie on George Jonas’ book, Vengeance, which some have criticized for relying on the memory of just one man. He embellished some episodes to make them more dramatic, more edge-of-the-seat suspenseful.

It must be a good movie, because some critics are screeching that it is pro-Arab, while others yelp that it is pro-Israel. And while it is competently acted and brilliantly photographed, it is not your basic cloak-and-dagger action movie. If you blink, you miss the disclaimer, “Inspired by real events,” which precedes the opening scene. “The fiction,” Spielberg told Time magazine, “comes in the interpersonal relationships of the five members of the ex-Mossad (Israeli intelligence) team.” They come across as sleek and thickhulled on the outside, like coconuts, the milk of human kindness sloshing around inside them. They blow someone up, then sit around the dinner table nibbling at an emotional stew that is part pride, part doubt, part fear. The movie develops an eerie rhythm, stalk and kill someone on the list, then talk. Kill-talk, kill-talk, kill-talk. “The only thing that’s going to solve this is rational minds, a lot of sitting down and talking until you’re blue in the gills,” says Spielberg. Without that exchange, “I would have been making a Charles Bronson movie – good guys versus bad guys and Jews killing Arabs without any context. And I was never going to make that picture.” “I was very careful,” Spielberg says, “to start the movie by saying, `Inspired by real events,’ because until the secret files are opened up, nobody will really know actually who did what.” Ruthlessly efficient Mossad opening its

secret files? Don’t bet on it. Meanwhile, rent or buy the DVD, then read a book to weed fiction from fact. And then discuss the issues with family, friends, clergy. Through the ages, Jews have always questioned, discussed, debated. Spielberg was counting on that trait, otherwise he has squandered $70 million of Hollywood’s money, six months of his life, and nearly three hours of yours. Reviewed by Stan Hochman

NEW RELEASES IN BRIEF LITTLE FISH R16, 109 minutes

iwis Sam Neill and Martin Henderson feature in this, along with Cate Blanchett and Hugo Weaving. This Australian movie picked up five AFI awards so will appeal to fans of indie cinema with its gritty and dark plotlines and cinematography.

THE FBI

A revealing documentary from National Geographic on the inner workings of the main US crimefighting agency.

INSIDE THE WHIT EHOUSE

Another National Geographic special on how the Presidents live. Forget the TV shows, this one’s real.

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006, 89

touchLIFE

TOYBOX

Winter treats

Rapid response gadgets

THE ELEGANCE OF BLACK

The Milos 37S employs the very best in German state-of-the-art widescreen LCD technology, offering 1366 x 768 resolution with a rapid 8ms response time, producing the most detailed and lifelike images. Dual video processors operating at 10-bit resolution ensure class-leading picture quality to match the elegant design. As with the entire Metz LCD range, the Metz 37S is designed and engineered at Metz’s world class manufacturing facility in Zirndorf, Germany. The Metz Milos 37S (RRP $5999) is covered by a nationwide five year parts and labour warranty. Other models in the Metz LCD TV line-up include the Milos 32S (RRP $4,499), the Talio 32S (RRP $4,499), the Milos 32(RRP $3,999) and the Milos 26(RRP $2,999). For further information on the Metz product line up contact 1300 134 400 or visit www. metz.com.au

As time goes by

Outstanding in steel, Certina’s new DS Podium Chrono Valjoux Automatic for men is a creation of great class and temperament. Aesthetics and technology can be seen to merge in the round satin-finish steel case and polished tachymeter bezel. The bezel surrounds a grand dial accented by three chronograph counters cast upon a brown/grey background. The model is equipped with a high-end automatic chronograph movement, whose oscillating balance is visible through a transparent watch-case back. Worn with a leather strap or matching steel band, the watch features the Double Security system, �� which has guaranteed the resistance and robustness of all sports watches made by Certina for decades. The �� model which comes in a special display box is water resistant to 100m and has a scratch-resistant sapphire crystal with anti - reflection coating. RRP $2495. Fo�� r further information call 09 �� 309-4948 or 09 �� 521 7446

90, INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006

DocuPen RC800

Planon introduces the DocuPen RC800 color handheld scanner – the latest technology breakthrough from our R&D efforts. We have been able to achieve full color 24 bit scanning in a remarkably compact and light form that provides you with the ultimate convenience. The RC800 is capable of storing 100’s of pages into memory and it takes just seconds to scan a page. Choose the mode you want to scan: black and white, standard color or high 24bit color and the resolution from 100 to 400 dpi. Now you can scan your letters, color documents, pictures and bring them into Paperport software (included with the Docupen). The DocuPen is different from other pen sized scanners in that it scans a FULL PAGE width and therefore scans the entire page including text and graphics in as little as 4 seconds. Other handheld and pen scanners only scan single lines of text or records handwriting and some scanners need to be attached to your computer whereas the Docupen overcomes these limitations. The need for convenient out of office scanning is enormous but has not been satisfied because the products to date did not fulfill that need adequately. There truly is no other product like the RC800 on the market today. Planon continues with its mission of “Redefining the way we work”. RRP $599 (academic price $549.00). Phone 03 930 0021 or visit www.workandstudytech.co.nz/

eubiq revolution

Imagine a world where you can position your electrical appliances or electronic gadgets anywhere in your house, without costly electrician bills. Where boardrooms can be multiple workstations and messy computer cables are a thing of the past. You can do all of this and more with the Eubiq system, the ultimate accessory for the chic home or office. The cutting-edge Eubiq system is a revolutionary product that enables users to tap into power anywhere along the track by connecting either the Eubiq plugs, adaptors, or accessories. All electrical needs can be merged into one streamlined strip – just plug any existing cords into the aesthetically modern and sleek system to power up. With limitless possibilities the powertrack system can be installed in your home, business or virtually anywhere where you would need electricity. The Eubiq system is easy to install and simple to use but most importantly it is safe. For more information please go to www.eubiq.com.au

Motorola Q

The world’s thinnest QWERTY, the Motorola Q changes the playing field for mobile devices by delivering a superior uncompromising mobile experience in one amazing ultra-thin package. Fifty percent thinner than its top competitors, the Motorola Q is also lightweight and features electro-luminescent keys, QWERTY keyboard, thumbwheel for single-handed control, and internal antenna. The Motorola Q also provides users the opportunity to balance work and play through additional features such as a large, vibrant, color screen, Web surfing capabilities, a 1.3 mega pixel camera with photo lighting, video and MP3 audio capabilities, and cool compatible Bluetooth®enabled accessories like the new RAZRWIRE Bluetooth® eyewear.With the Motorola Q, mobile professionals can be confident they can be productive by having a quality phone and email experience in an innovative and stylish form factor. The Motorola Q leverages Microsoft’s familiar and trusted Windows Mobile software and is among the first devices to run on the new Windows Mobile 5.0 platform which delivers scalable and cost-effective mobile messaging support with Exchange 2003 out of the box. www.motorola.com/q

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006, 91

touchLIFE

CATALOGUE

GET YOUR BUSINESS SEEN! This space could be yours! From $110 a month (12 mth booking) or $150 a month (3 mth booking) Email sales@investigatemagazine.com for details

Want a free iPod?

Email media@vof.org.nz, complete our survey, and be in to win one of 10 iPods. Voice of Friendship Reaching the out of reach

92, INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006

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INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006, 93

realLIFE

15 MINUTES

Sand in his shoes

He’s best known for his smash hit “Year Of The Cat”, but Al Stewart makes a surprising admission to Ian Wishart

n the islands where I grew up, nothing seems the same. Indeed, Al Stewart’s anthem “On The Border” from 1976 could have been a metaphysical harbinger for what the next three decades had in store for New Zealand and the wider Pacific. But that’s another story…down the phone line from Los Angeles I’m trying to pick an identifiable accent from the voice whose face stares at me from the cover of a faded art deco faux double-LP (double cover, one record), Year Of The Cat. According to the bio Al Stewart is Glasgow-born, but there’s nae hint o’e’en a wee dram o’ Scottishness in his tones. “I left Scotland when I was three,” he explains. “I can’t even do a passable imitation of a Scottish accent when I go back there on tour. No Glasgow taxi driver would ever take me for a local.” But his mid-Atlantic accent forged from youth in England and middle-life in the US holds far less interest for Stewart than the novelty of talking to a New Zealander. “Has anyone heard of me in New Zealand? I’ve never been there, I’ve never been offered a gig in New Zealand – or Australia for that matter. “Do they have concert halls there? I don’t know. Maybe it’s a language problem!,” he chuckles effervescently. “Congratulations anyway, I think I’m right in saying you are the first person from New Zealand ever to interview me. It’s taken 45 years!” New Zealand, he says, has just been enjoying considerable press on the US west coast as a result of the injury a Rolling Stone suffered while gathering nuts. “It was big news over here actually that [Keith Richards] fell out of a palm tree. I mean, no one quite believed that he could climb up a palm tree in the first place. But if you say he did, then I suppose he did…” I hurry to assure Stewart that his mid 70s LPs Year Of The Cat (YOTC) and Time Passages were huge hits in New Zealand, just as they were internation-

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ally. Intriguingly, however, Al Stewart has mixed feelings about that success. “You know, it was a plus and minus. It was quite a big record in some countries – a top 10 record in the USA and I guess that was helpful. But the downside of YOTC is that it didn’t have anything to do with – I mean, I’ve made 17 albums and apart from one little two year period in the late 70s when I was being produced by Alan Parsons – none of the other records had anything to do with it. I never did mid-tempo ballads. I don’t like saxophones. I was playing much more up-tempo things and lots of acoustic guitars, and it all got sort of slowed down and smoothed out by these two records that admittedly sold a lot of copies.” I’m momentarily speechless. His two biggest records and he doesn’t like them? He laughs, then qualifies his answer. “I like most of YOTC, but the problem was we were all sitting around and we had the “Year Of The Cat” song, and the whole thing had been recorded – but there’s a thing in the middle where all these solos come in and Alan was really determined to put a saxophone on it. “I’d never liked saxophones, I think they sound like wounded cows. To me it was a jazz instrument. The last thing I wanted on my record was a saxophone, but Alan prevailed and we put it on and I thought ‘well, that’s the last I’ll hear about that’. And of course for the next two years that was the only thing I heard about. “I ended up having to tour with a saxophone blasting in my ear – I still can’t hear very well out of my left ear! And it was a bit of a nightmare really, because all of a sudden somebody thought I was this guy who sings songs with saxophones in. And then of course we had to do another one because the record company said ‘oh yeah, people like this’, and so I ended up making three or four records with saxophones on, none of which I personally particularly like, but so many other people like them. I dunno, it’s almost like I was living somebody else’s

life for a little while there!” But doesn’t everyone dream of having a worldwide hit? Well, yes and no. “It divided my audience really sharply into two. There are people to this day who only know YOTC and Time Passages, and they tend to be a lot more middle of the road and ‘pop-py’ as opposed to the audience I had from the English folk scene. Because you’ve got to remember I made six albums before YOTC, and the audience I had before YOTC was much more experimental and folky, more like a folkrock audience. “So I appreciated the fact that this thing sold a few million copies and lots of people liked it, but the kind of people who liked it were not necessarily the people who go out to concerts. I mean, they were just sort of everyday people who sat at home and played the record, whereas the folk scene is all about getting out and doing live stuff. “At this stage of the game, the people who like YOTC have more or less long gone from 25 years ago – they’ve all vanished – which means I never get asked for it any more in live performance. The things that people want to hear are the more folky things that I do. “I feel ambiguous about it really. It’s nice that it was a hit, and it’s nice that people liked it, but the people who came in with YOTC were not particularly loyal, they were just tourists. They would buy that, and then they’d buy a Gerry Rafferty record next week, and then they’d buy a Cliff Richard record. They didn’t really care! Whereas the people who were buying all my records up until then, things like Modern Times or Past, Present and Future, those are the people who are still coming to my shows, 30 years later.” But what about the fame, the radio airplay, I ask, surely this must have been lifechanging? “It didn’t really change anything,” Stewart offers after a moment.

“It was really stupid: YOTC peaked in, I think, February of 1977 when it got into the top ten, and at the very moment that it hit its highest chart position I was in Kentucky, staying at the Holiday Inn, and I’d just done a show. I was given the news that the record had just entered the American top ten, and I thought ‘that’s really good’, and I came down and tried to get breakfast. And because it was, like, five minutes after 11 in the morning they weren’t serving breakfast any more. And I thought, ‘I’ve got a record in the top ten, it’s sold a million copies, and I can’t get breakfast!’ I mean, it was ridiculous. They wouldn’t even give me a bowl of cornflakes! So I’m sitting here in the middle of some damned field in Kentucky, in some horrible Holiday Inn where they won’t serve me breakfast, and my record is all over the radio all over the world. “It seemed to me, at that moment, as if it maybe it didn’t make any damned difference in the world: I still couldn’t get a bowl of cornflakes!” Nor did the hit records have a recognizable impact on his bank balance. “Not really, actually, no. The odd thing is if you look at that period – and I have – because it’s a good question and I asked the same thing of my manager, the way I was touring up until then was I got an acoustic guitar and I went out and toured. With YOTC, my manager said ‘you’ve got to have a band, you’ve got to have a saxophone’.” At this point in the interview, it’s becoming pretty clear Al Stewart has a pathological issue with saxophones, but I let him continue to make his point. “Well once you get a band (I had around half a dozen people in the band) then you need roadies, you need a road crew, and you need lighting. I ended up with, I think, 28 people that I was touring around with, and the net result of that is that even if you can draw a thousand, 1500 people a night, you’re actually losing money, because it costs so much to cart all this nonsense around. It’s easier now because the equipment is smaller, but I promise you that if you have three people lugging a Hammond organ up five flights of stairs it’s an expensive proposition. “So I actually did the math at the end of it and realized that during this entire period that I’d been having hit records I’d basically broken even, whereas in five years leading into it, when I’d been touring English universities playing acoustic gui-

tar, I actually made quite a lot of money. So what I did was I got rid of the band and I went back to being a folk singer again and I immediately started making money again. I mean, I’d made a lot of money on paper but it all went out again. “Each of those tours, YOTC and the Time Passages one, cost hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of thousands of dollars. I was getting a pretty miserable royalty rate because everyone in the 70s did, and at the end of the day when all was said and done, it was basically a break even proposition. So being as how I couldn’t get a bowl of cornflakes and I couldn’t make any money out of it, my view of having hit records was probably a little different from many other people’s. I can’t see that it did me a great deal of good really.” The realization took a little time to dawn apparently – Stewart says he tried to keep appealing to his divergent audiences through the 80s before giving up on his Year Of The Cat legacy. “In fact the last album, Beach Full Of Shells, is my best selling record in something like 15 years, and there’s nothing commercial about it whatsoever,” he adds with satisfaction in his voice. “I think for a while I was sucked into trying to be a sort of ersatz pop star which I’ve never been any good at. But now, it seems to be going great guns – in fact this year we’re playing the Royal Albert Hall. Five years ago I was playing in the Jazz Café with 300 seats, now we’re playing to 5,000 so go figure. I think we’ve done the right thing to go back to playing folk rock, because I was never really much of a balladeer because I can’t sing, for a start!” For someone who sees himself primarily as an English folk-rocker, his chosen city of residence is an interesting one. “Yeah, I came over to tour in 1976. I basically moved to Los Angeles when YOTC came out, and I was renting an apartment that was completely empty when I started and every time the record went ten places up the chart I would buy another piece of furniture, so after eight months I had this fully furnished apartment. By that time I thought ‘I don’t want to go back to England’, so I basically sold my house in England and moved to LA.” An ironic move, given his comment at a concert in 1970 after singing “Electric LA Sunset” that Los Angeles was a “horrible” place that was growing so fast it would eventually spread across the entire

1976

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At this stage of the game, the people who like YOTC have more or less long gone from 25 years ago – they’ve all vanished – which means I never get asked for it any more in live performance. The things that people want to hear are the more folky things that I do

”

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006, 95

2006 American continent and engulf New York City. Especially ironic because in 1970 Stewart had never been to LA. What a difference an apartment, a hit record and 36 years of contemplation make. “I love LA,” laughs Stewart. “It’s my favourite place in the world. It seems to me to be the future for better or for worse. Whatever is the future it seems to happen here. That may be changing – there’s some very strange things going on in Dubai, but right now it’s still very cutting edge in LA. And because I’m a songwriter and obsessive about lyrics, for me to walk past the building where [Jerry] Leiber and [Mike] Stoller wrote “Yakkety Yak” is like for most people walking past some great museum. There’s so much happening in this town in the fields that I’m interested in that it’s very hard for me to imagine living anywhere else.”

96, INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM, July 2006

Although Stewart spent his first albums singing about his love life, most of his work has moved from the personal to the historical. It is history that gives his music life, he says. “It isn’t history in the sense that I’m being a schoolmaster and saying ‘Oliver Cromwell did this and Julius Caesar did that’, I’m not terribly interested in that, I’m interested in these strange, slightly offbeat, off the wall things, little moments that are more about humanity than history. If you can look at something that happened 200 years ago and say, ‘Ah, well, this tells me everything I need to know about something that’s happening right now’, or it’s an odd quirk of human nature where you look at it and say ‘That’s just like my Aunt Ethel!’, then to me that’s an achievement. That’s what I’m using history for, I’m using it just to light up the room.

“I’m no good living in a two dimensional universe, I can’t basically live in ‘now’ because ‘now’ has no meaning for me. I mean, it’s a very dull place. ‘Now’ is where all the terrible things happen, whereas if you can live all 6,000 years of history simultaneously, if it’s around you and in your mind, it’s a whole panoply to me. Everything that happens in my life has historical overtones. If I drink a bottle of wine I look at the date on the wine and I immediately think about what happened when it was grown. I just think in those terms, and while I know there are people who don’t think in those terms, they don’t buy my records.” He has, he says, never had to take a day job, thanks to the people who keep buying the records and attending his concerts – around a hundred gigs a year. Stewart admits he has a grueling schedule. “I think it is, yes. The gigs are easy – I love to play and the gigs are what it is all about. But the travel is murderous. For example, after this weekend the very next gig I’ve got is in Maine. Now I can tell you that in order to play for 90 minutes, there’s going to be about 72 hours of packing, unpacking, flying, planes, buses, sitting in dressing rooms – the sheer amount of nonsense you have to do just to do one gig is mindboggling to me. I’m not actually paid to play, I’m paid to push luggage around airports and do laundry at 3am. So yes, it’s difficult. At the age of 60, I’ve just got back from a month on the road, and I actually find it physically almost impossible to lift the suitcase because it is so heavy with all the things I need to take on the road. I don’t have a roadie so I have to carry the bugger, and I’ve got a guitar in the other hand and a couple of things slung over my shoulder. Watching me staggering around airports with all this stuff, like a pack mule, is I suppose slightly comical for the people who are watching me but I must say it isn’t easy.” Does he have any regrets? “Well I regret not coming to Australia and New Zealand, it would have been nice to have at least turned up there and played one concert, but as I said it’s one of the mysteries of life. I’ve actually been three times offered tours of India, of all places, and twice gone to Japan. But Australia and New Zealand – English-speaking countries – I’ve never, I’ve yet to be offered a single show, and I couldn’t even begin to understand why, but it’s the truth.”

Read the full interview or listen to it at www.thebriefingroom.com