Investigate magazine Feb 09 issue

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INVESTIGATE February 2009: Beating the recession • PC gone mad, again • Palestine’s crusaders

B eating The Recession I deas that could save you thousands

Did you hear the one?

Issue 97

More staggering stories from the PC Gone Mad files

Palestine’s Crusaders

Rent a crowd use NZ Muslims as puppets

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Contents 26 33 FEATURES

26 A Time of Opportunity

Shrug off the doom, a recession doesn’t just bring problems, it brings opportunity as well. IAN WISHART and LOUIS CARLOZO look at ways to survive the slowdown, and perhaps even make extra money

33 Recession-proof Your Job

With a recent survey suggesting a third of NZ companies are planning to lay off staff this quarter, MARYELLEN PODMOLIK details the art of keeping your head whilst all around you are losing theirs

34

34 Red Jihad

Palestine has provided yet another golden opportunity for Marxist, self-declared revolutionaries to stir up division. TREVOR LOUDON profiles the activists using Muslims as glove puppets to hammer New Zealanders with

48 Rules Britannica

48

You think political correctness is a joke? In Britain they’re not laughing anymore – the former empire is on its last gasp thanks to death by red tape and a thousand cuts. HAL G. P. COLEBATCH has the story

56 Actions vs Words, Part 2

His recent article generated a lot of debate, so SIMON GEMMILL is back to argue the point further, but prominent UK atheist MATTHEW PARRIS now believes faith in God is more important in changing lives than a simple secular handout. It promises to be a fascinating article

56

Editorial and opinion 06 Focal Point

Volume 9, issue 97, ISSN 1175-1290

Editorial

08 Vox-Populi

The roar of the crowd

16 Simply Devine

16

Miranda Devine on mad Greens

18 Mark Steyn On Palestine

20 Eyes Right

Richard Prosser’s trip to England

22 Line 1

Lifestyle

Art Direction Design & Layout

64 Money

Peter Hensley on powers of attorney

66 Education

Amy Brooke circles the cuckoo’s nest

68 Science

Telescopic jackpot

70 Technology Best products of 08

72 Sport

Chris Forster on Danny Lee

82

74 Health

Claire Morrow turns to drink

76 Alt.Health Menopause magic

78 Travel

Visiting Madagascar

82 Food

James Morrow’s cartoon cookbook

84 Drive

Heidi Wishart Bozidar Jokanovic

Tel: +64 9 373 3676 Fax: +64 9 373 3667 Investigate Magazine PO Box 302188, North Harbour North Shore 0751, NEW ZEALAND AUSTRALIAN EDITION Editor Ian Wishart Customer Services Debbie Marcroft Advertising sales@investigatemagazine.com Tel/Fax: 1-800 123 983 SUBSCRIPTIONS Online: www.investigatemagazine.com

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92 Music

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We take no responsibility for unsolicited material sent to us. Please enclose a stamped, SAE envelope. Inquiries in the first instance should be made via email or fax.

94 Movies

Investigate magazine Australasia is published by HATM Magazines Ltd

Toyota’s new Prius unveiled

84

Richa Fuller Fuller Media 09 522 7062 021 03 74079 richa@fullermedia.co.nz

24 Soapbox

The last words of a murdered editor

68

NZ EDITION Advertising Sales

Contributing Writers: Melody Towns, Selwyn Parker, Amy Brooke, Chris Forster, Peter Hensley, Chris Carter, Mark Steyn, Chris Philpott, Michael Morrissey, Miranda Devine, Richard Prosser, Claire Morrow, James Morrow, Len Restall, Laura Wilson, and the worldwide resources of MCTribune Group, UPI and Newscom

Chris Carter‘s New Year resolutions

18

Chief Executive Officer Heidi Wishart Group Managing Editor Ian Wishart Customer Services Debbie Marcroft

86 Toybox

The latest and greatest

88 Pages

Michael Morrissey’s summer picks Chris Philpott’s CD reviews Valkyrie, Changeling

96 DVDs

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> focal point

Editorial

The media’s war on truth

A

s we write this, terrorist organization Hamas has joined Israel in declaring a weeklong ceasefire in the Gaza hostilities. Driving home tonight I tuned to Radio Live’s simulcast of 3 News, only to hear a British ITV reporter fantasizing about the key issues in Gaza.

Regardless of the propaganda war, the correspondent intoned, one undeniable truth is that most of the victims are innocents.

Yeah, right.

If your definition of “innocent” is simply “civilian” or “child”, then I’d have to agree. But if your definition of “innocent” is “utterly uninvolved” then I’d have to laugh at the 3 News report.

Sadly, the Western media’s performance on the Gaza crisis has been appalling. So much hand-wringing, so little context.

I’m not, by the way, justifying the death toll or mitigating its significance and tragedy.

Of course it is wrong for kids to be killed in war.

However, the media coverage has been extremely one-sided. Hamas, for the past umpteen years, has been enrolling kids into terrorist training. Our weekly TGIF Edition recently carried links to Palestinian TV videos showing five year olds and upward training with AK47 assault rifles and grenades.

Palestinian parents regularly march their kids through Gaza and the West Bank in protests, dressed up as suicide bombers.

Solidarity is one thing, but Palestinian children’s TV programmes frequently feature indoctrination glorifying suicide bombing and a martyr’s death – these are programmes aimed at preschoolers!!

Palestine’s version of Mickey Mouse is a mad jihadi, encouraging toddlers to murder every Jew they see unless said Jew converts to Islam, and promising that Palestinian kids should never rest until Israel itself is under Hamas rule.

Why haven’t TV3 and TV1 broadcast these videos?

An inconvenient truth, perhaps. It would spoil the handwringing from our kiwi reporters “on the front line” at the Gaza border.

How, precisely, is the world ever going to achieve peace in the Middle East when one side is urging its kids to slaughter Israelis no matter what, because it is Allah’s will? While western media prattle on about a ‘negotiated peace’, how on earth do they match INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

that airy fairy notion to Hamas’ declared aim of not accepting a two state solution? Hamas want one state, ruled by Muslims, no Israel. Fullstop.

And how, hand on heart, can TV3’s Mark Jennings and TV1’s Anthony Flannery allow their news bulletins to go out each night spouting their inane rubbish, when the reality is so much more complex than “Israel bad, Palestinians good”?

Hamas, and before it Yasser Arafat’s Fatah, have created a generation of Palestinian children brainwashed to hate, no matter what. When guns are thrust into your hands as five year olds, and you are taught in school and on TV to emulate suicide bombers, and that the only solution to your country’s problem is the eradication of Israel, what do we seriously expect to happen, other than the blindingly obvious?

The Palestinian adults, especially those who voted for Hamas to control Gaza in “democratic” elections, have only themselves to blame if their kids die in Israeli airstrikes.

Especially when Hamas, time and again, has been caught on video firing its mortars and machine guns from within the ranks of children, and from inside schools and mosques.

If you don’t believe, see for yourself in our TGIF report, http://www.investigatemagazine.com/tgif16jan09.pdf .

If the Palestinian people genuinely don’t want Hamas in control of their destiny, then they should revolt and overturn them.

But for now, Palestinian parents who support Hamas take the honours as perhaps the worst child abusers on the planet, bar none.

Thank heavens for independent news media capable of reporting outside the square – not just us but many others around the world. What a shame the bulk of New Zealand’s mainstream media outlets don’t see how ridiculous they look as the video evidence indicts them.

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> vox populi

Communiques The roar of the crowd

DEPRESSING PRESCRIPTION RATES You have hit the nail on the head in your latest article on antidepressants. If you got some usage figures from Pharmac in NZ on Fluoxetine(ex Prozac) and Paroxetine (ex Aropax) it would blow your socks off. Typical approach from modern medicine: treat the symptom with a pharmaceutical product rather than trying to investigate what the causative factors are. For that very reason my business partner has trained in and become a member of ACNEM (Australasian College of Environmental Medicine) and we promote a whole lot of free information on our website.

I am appalled as a pharmacist to see us throwing the volumes of antidepressants at our people, especially young people when we know that it can sometimes takes decades to find or discover unwanted side effects. Remember the barbiturates, Valiums, and even Thalidomide, all wonder drugs in their days!!!

Keep up the good work Mark Bedford,Pharmacist and Chair Consumer NZ Inc

THE CLIMATE CHANGE DEBATE Yesterday it was my good fortune to find a copy of the July 2008 issue of your Investigate New Zealand in a doctor’s waiting room over here. I had not previously been aware of its existence (poor fool that I am).

In that issue you had an excellent and very well referenced article about man made global warming. From memory it was from about page 44 to page 48 and was written by a Mike Butler. It was certainly in the July issue.

Although I am only a farmer I am involved in state and national farmer organisations who are trying to generate informed and holistic discussion of both the science AND the politics of this issue so that it may be addressed in a rational manner.

A B Turner, New South Wales

THE VIOLENCE GENE THEORY? I remember listening to Michael Laws 25/1/08 and a lot of his callers blaming Polynesians/Maori for most of our crime and social ills. They are only partly right. I have someone close to me, who I consider was a Foetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) baby. He was a beautiful child prone to shocking outbursts of violent behaviour.

Under his parents’ guidance they are hoping to get him to control his actions, but sometimes it is hard. I consider FAS to be a huge problem in this country.

Having said that, we should know a little of our ancient history, regarding bloodlines, to get some of the answers. Dr. Svetla Balabanova of the Institute of Forensic Medicine at Ulm, Germany, proved that Phoenician/Egyptians had travelled to and lived in INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

Southern Mexico, around 1069 BC. Dr Anne Milland in her book “Story of the Nile’ tells where the Egyptians took their slaves from (mostly Nubian) A lot ended up‑as oarsmen, taking their Masters to the Yucatan. There they bred with the Asiatic/Aztec and Toltec people, becoming a hybrid race called Olmec. The Olmec bred rapidly and were notorious for their cruelty. Finally their white masters tried to dump them on the Islands of Hawaii. The Brits tried similar in the colonies. National Geographic has done a study on the ancient 40 year Guatemalan war. The white rulers were overthrown and some escaped to Peru and out into the Pacific and we think as far as New Zealand.

When Emperor Zhu Di sent out his huge armada of 1,000 ships in four separate fleets, between 1385 and 1432, his fleets would have followed the currents north then down into the Eastern Pacific.

One of the fleets would have found Hawaii and may have brought a large number of Olmec down into the Southern Eastern Pacific, as far as New Zealand as a trained army (with regards to the slaughter of the 60,000 people in Northland, they must have been a trained army in martial arts). Records of this discovery were found

by Constable Corbett of Ruawai. Dr Paul Moon’s latest book tells of cannibalism and terrible cruelty as late as the 1850s committed by the local Polynesians/Maori.

We will take a giant leap forward to the mid 1800s when the Spanish, French and English ran the Caribbean Islands and the sugar trade. The Europeans could not get the slaves to work hard enough in the cane fields, so brought in over a 1,000 Chinese male workers. How history repeats itself! The small Chinese were great workers and not having their women with them, bred with the black women. These hybrids became leaders of all the gangs from Haiti to Cuba. Because of their fiery tempers and cruel natures, they became feared and hated by the blacks and whites alike.

The point I am making is: How every successful person sorts out a problem, is to first recognize it (know its history) then accept it, then it is possible to fix it. With our politically correct banal attitude, we keep circumventing the problem and pretending we don’t see it.

We are seeing our violence problem, but don’t seem capable of putting it in to words, because we are too afraid or PC, or both. As a researcher I take special note of odd parts of our World’s history.

J L Porter, Napier

LOW-FLOW SHOWERS Your November ‘election special 2008’ number stated many reasons why the Clark regime should not be re-elected. However, I was surprised that your editorial was given over to the issue of shower flow-rates – certainly a PR shambles for the Labour/Green

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non-coalition, but you got some facts wrong.

You say a 6 litre/minute shower is unsatisfactory. For some years Nigel Isaacs of the BRANZ insisted that 10 L/min is minimal.

During a couple of decades constructing & monitoring solar water-heating systems, I have taken a close interest in minimising shower flows while maintaining comfort & cleansing. My conclusion, tested on my own household and others, is that 5 L/min is quite OK – if a suitable shower-head is used (my favourite being a NZ-made integrated mixer/nozzle which is both inexpensive and very good quality). I have happily used 4 L/min for years.

A related but different issue is mains-pressure v. low-pressure water-heating. It is not true that mains-pressure hot water dooms you to high water (and therefore heat) consumption. It is quite feasible to attach to a high-pressure system a shower-head designed for low flow. Some also give options of pulsating which may appeal to hedonists.

Those who wish to make an informed choice on shower flows should measure them, rather than being influenced by oddly enraged political diatribes. All you need is a watch with a second hand, and a 2-litre ice-cream container held just under the nozzle. If your shower delivers 2 L in less than 25 s, you should decrease the flow and open-mindedly see how it then strikes you and yours.

Robert Mann, Tarihunga Pt.

SEEING THE LIGHT IN THE US I read on the internet (http://www.parliament.nz/en-NZ/PB/ Debates/QOA/5/0/4/48HansQ_20080722_00000706-10Compact-Fluorescent-Light-Bulbs-Safety.htm) that they had concerns about an article written by your magazine about the potential hazard of using CFLs. I was wondering if something had come of that? My concern is that I hate fluorescent in any form and live in the United States where it seems they are intent on banning incandescent. Bad news for those of us affected by Asperger’s and, say, much worse conditions like Lupus!

Lea McAndrews, California

ORIGIN OF ‘NAZARENE’ Re ‘In Defence of Christmas’, there is a logical explanation for Jesus’ description as a Nazarene as recorded in Matthew 2:23.

In the original Semitic language, the word that appears in most English versions translated as “prophets” is in the singular. Therefore, Matthew was not referring to statements made by prophets, but a statement made by one prophet. However a search of the entire Old Testament does not yield a single prophecy of the Messiah to be known as a Nazarene.

But Isaiah stated, “And there shall come forth a rod out of the stem of Jesse, and a Branch shall grow out of his roots and bear fruit.” (Isaiah 11:1-2).

The word translated ‘branch’ is the Hebrew word ‘netser’, which comes from the verb ‘natsar’ meaning ‘to guard, watch, keep, or preserve’. One who guards or is a watchman is a ‘Notsri’ in Hebrew, ‘Natsraya’ in Aramaic, ‘Nazarios’ in Greek (as recorded in Matthew 2:23) and which translates to ‘Nazarene’ in English.

The word translated Nazareth in English is the Hebrew word Netsaret which is rendered Nazarey or Nazaret in Greek and Natsrat in Aramaic.

The logical explanation is that Matthew used a Semitic language word play, common in Hebraic forms of teaching. He was not being literal; he was being clever. In other words, ‘And he came and dwelt in a city called Netsaret: that it might be “ful10 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

filled” which was spoken by the prophet [Isaiah 11:1], “He shall be called a Notsri.”’ Even if you cannot read Hebrew, you can look at the letters and see the obvious relationship between the words.

‘Notsri’ would be written as ‘ntsr’, very close to the spelling of Nazareth which is ‘ntsrt’.

Therefore, Jesus (or Yeshua as the more correct form of his name) the Messiah is a ‘Notsri’, a Nazarene. This also explains why the disciples of Yeshua were known as Notsrim (the plural form). Nazarenes – clearly they didn’t all come from Nazareth. (Acts 24:5-6) Tessa Beswick, Tauranga

THE IMMORALITY OF MAN Thank you for your stand for Christianity – especially literal evangelical Christianity. Your viewpoint and audacity in the face of the continual bombardment from media is refreshing.

The continual dumbing down and attack of Christian Scripture by those who claim to be Christian is something that really challenges me. I am an evangelical Christian and an elder of a large Wellington church. We believe that all the scriptures are ‘God breathed’ 2 Peter 1:21 and are to be taken seriously. Are they literal?

Well then you might be forgiven for thinking that God is a bird – Psalm 17:8. No, God is a superb linguist and skilful design is used in the Bible, as we should expect! Over 200 different types of figurative speech are used in the Bible. Without careful study of the passages that are commonly attacked, then obvious mistakes will be made as can be seen in Mr. Puddles’ muddle of scripture.

I must admit that the Canaanite slaughter and Gods’ instruction to kill all the men, women and children in the promised land was a major obstacle in my walk with God and was a major part of my falling away when I was younger, as there was no one in my life to guide and teach me. Once I came back to God as the Prodigal Son did, I made it a priority to investigate the Bible methodically and concisely. What was it all about?

Obviously space is an issue so a shortened version is as follows: Mathew 24:37 – 41, as in the ‘Days of Noah so shall it be at the coming of the Son of Man’. (Second coming). What were the two main themes that framed the Days of Noah?

1. There was great wickedness on the face of the earth. Well Ian, in your response to Bruce’s letter you pointed out there have been some 800 million abortions, the terror raids in Mumbai have just come to an end, the men who tortured Nia Glassie to death have faced a jury etc. Yes we live in a world of excruciating wickedness that has me ashamed to be human at times. I would submit that the days we live in are actually worse than the days of Noah.

I would also submit that the reason for the flood was not purely because of the extent of sin in the world at that time.

2. Genesis 6:1 – 12 The sons of god took wives of all they chose and to them were born the Nephilim. Without going into the details of the text, the reason that God destroyed the earth with a flood – and yes I believe it was a world wide flood, was because of this unnatural union between the fallen angels and human females. The flood was to destroy the Nephilim. By the way, the Greek word for Nephilim is Titan.

Fast forward to Deuteronomy 3:11 and we see that this mischief had occurred again post flood. Goliath was a Nephilim; the legend of Hercules points to him being a Nephilim as well.

The report that Joshua brought back to Moses was that there were massive Nephilim in the land; Numbers: 31 – 33. So frightening were these hybrids that the Israelites rebelled against God despite all the miracles they had witnessed.

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BRUCE, THEY’RE CALLING FOR YOU In his letter seeking to correct what he regards as errors in Simon Gemmill’s article, Jason Clark dredges up several common evangelical Christian ‘special-pleadings’ regularly used to pervert the plain meaning of Jesus’ synoptic gospels salvation teachings.

I know them all, as for twenty years I used to teach and preach these exact fallacies. I, like most evangelicals, desperately sought always to find a way, any way, to claim that these salvation teachings simply could not mean what Jesus’ words so clearly stated. What so deeply unnerved us was the undeniable fact that if you take the plain and obvious meaning of the text in several of Christ’s teachings on the subject of how one lives in a state of divine favour – in other words ‘salvation’ – Jesus clearly affirms salvation for those who live out the principle of ‘golden rule goodness’, without imposing any requirement to ‘believe in him’. Jesus’ synoptic salvation teachings, in fact, clearly contradict two thousand years of Christian salvation doctrine which claims that only those who consciously ‘believe in Christ’ are ‘saved souls’. This official Christian view is based solely on John’s gospel and the Apostles take on things. It totally ignores Jesus’ salvation teachings in the other first three gospels. How then can you claim to be accurately presenting Jesus’ teaching about salvation when you deliberately refuse to take into account a very significant portion of Christ’s teaching on the subject.

I now highlight just two of Jason’s inaccuracies.

Firstly, his claim that “words and deeds merely determine whether they are good Christians.” Sorry, but Jesus explicitly denies this statement. In Matthew 7v12 Jesus teaches that the ‘golden rule’ “is the law and the prophets.” In his next breath, in v13-14, he clearly states that this ‘golden rule’ way of living is “the narrow gate…. that leads to life.” Evangelicals take note. Despite our claims, Jesus does not in this passage teach that he is ‘the ‘narrow way/gate’; the text in this context simply does not allow this interpretation.

14 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

Jesus then proceeds to talk about the ‘good trees’ with ‘good fruit’ as being those who live by this golden rule ‘narrow way’. Next he thunderously turns on those who obviously regard themselves as ‘believers’, who call him Lord and point to their ‘ministries’, all performed ‘in His name’. What is most alarming for evangelicals is that these are the exact ‘believing and confessing’ formulas claimed by evangelicals to guarantee salvation. Christ, however, here says otherwise. He totally disowns these ‘believers’. Why? Because they ‘practise evil/lawlessness’. What he means by ‘lawlessness’ is spelt out back in v12 where Jesus says, in effect, that not living by the golden rule is in fact ‘evil/lawlessness’.

So, Jason, in this passage Jesus teaches the converse to you.

Indeed he declares that ‘words and deeds’ are the only things that will ultimately qualify you to be seen as the wise man who builds his “house upon the rock” (v 24-29.) What then is the ‘rock’? Again in this passage it is not Christ; it is nothing less than the rock of the golden rule, God’s greatest ever command, which “is the law”.

Jesus explicitly teaches that you can ‘believe’ for all you’re worth, confess him as Lord and do all manner of ministries in his name until your eyes pop out, but if you miss out on the ‘golden rule goodness’ life style you will have built your house on the sand. And clearly there is in this teaching no ‘you must believe in me to be saved’ clause, nor is it even vaguely assumed, therefore here the only criteria that ‘leads to life’, being a ‘good tree’ and ‘building ones house on the rock’ is living a life based on the golden rule.

This leads on to the second issue, the ‘sheep and the goats’ passage. Sorry Jason, but it is not Simon Gemmill who doesn’t understand the ‘sheep and the goats’ teaching in Matthew 25v31-46.

Just as I used to do, you claim that the use of the title ‘Lord’ by both ‘sheep’ and ‘goats’ must mean that all addressed here are already ‘believers’. But this interpretation is made forever impossible by Jesus’ unequivocal statement in v32 of exactly to whom this judgment does apply.

I quote him: “When the Son of Man comes in his glory... he will sit on his glorious throne. And all the nations will be gathered before Him; and He will separate them from one another.” It does not say “all the ‘believers’ only of all the nations will be gathered”, but “all the nations”, end of story! And of course all humanity will call him Lord at that momentous event. For goodness sake, they are seeing the Son of Man in his glory. Who wouldn’t call him ‘Lord’, be they atheist, agnostic, Christian, or of another faith. Ironically, evangelicals have a favourite scripture passage which they love to quote to warn ‘unbelievers’ of their impending judgment. Here it is, “Every knee will bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord” (Phil 2v10-11).

Now Jason, be honest, you certainly understand this passage as including both believer and non-believer. Yet these verses describe exactly what happens in the ‘sheep and goats’ passage which describes the same great ‘day of judgment’. Yet you stand on your head and with a breathtaking contradiction try to claim that this Matthew teaching somehow applies to ‘believers’ only!

Sorry, you can’t have your cake and eat it!

It is high time we evangelicals found a far deeper level of integrity in our approach to these teachings direct from the lips of one we so loudly claim is our guide in all matters of faith and practice.

We need to change our doctrines to honour Christ’s teachings and not do what we do at present – that is play fast and very loose with Christ’s synoptic salvation teachings to try and get them to fit into our man made doctrines.

Bruce Puddle, Tauranga

Letters to the editor can be posted to: PO Box 302188, North Harbour, North Shore 0751, or emailed to: editorial@investigatemagazine.com

After the desert wandering they entered the Promised Land and were instructed to destroy all the Nephilim and their offspring. God had promised not to destroy the whole earth by flood again and so the Israelites, under Joshua, were God’s instrument of destruction.

As a matter of interest Nimrod the king of Babylon had his headquarters in Babylon: Genesis 10. Nimrod was the world leader that ordered the tower of Babel built. It is interesting to note that the coming world leader in end time prophecy (Matthew 24 above) is called ‘the king of Babylon’ Isaiah 14:4, and in the book of Revelation he is connected with ‘mystery Babylon’ Rev. 17:3-5.

Nimrod’s supreme ambition was to make a name for himself.

Very much a parallel of the Coming World Leader, who will ‘exalt himself above all that is called God, or that is worshipped; so that he sits as God in the temple of God, showing himself that he is God.’ – 2 Thess 2:4 There is an additional aspect of the story that is very provocative. Nimrod is called a ‘mighty one’ in the text of Gen. 10:8 the title ‘mighty one’ is the very same Hebrew word, gibborim, that is frequently used as a synonym for the Nephilim! Connect the dots and maybe the coming world leader could be a Nephilim – not Barak Obama as some are unfortunately theorising in America.

The Bible is amazing. It is breathtaking in it’s’ simplicity, juxtaposed with immense depth and complexity. Yes, on cursory glance at the text, one may find contradictions and difficult passages, but I challenge Mr. Puddle and others to give the Bible the honour and respect it is due and do some study!

Glenn Wright, Wellington

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> simply devine

Miranda Devine

Greenies go ga-ga over emissions

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poplectic apocalyptic greenies threw shoes at an effigy and provides potential for structural adjustments that will harm of Kevin Rudd, broke into a woodchip mill in Tasmania the economy unnecessarily.” and threatened to move to Europe as part of an orchesProfessor Aynsley Kellow, the head of the school of government trated dummy spit against the Prime Minister’s emissions at the University of Tasmania, and an expert on climate change scheme announced last month. treaties, acknowledges that Rudd’s scheme is clever politics. But The tantrums from Australia’s screeching environmental ban- he says there are “substantial dangers” for Australia. shees have barely abated since the Government revealed its plan to “Ironically, at the very point in history when the EU has abancut Australia’s greenhouse gas emissions from between 5 and 15 per doned unilateral gestures, Rudd has made one – one that will cent by 2020, an amount deemed too small by green groups. not make a discernible difference to global greenhouse gas lev“It’s a decision to see the Great Barrier Reef die before our very els, and that has annoyed the Green movement and business eyes,” said Greens Senator Christine Milne. simultaneously.”

Rudd must be rubbing his hands with glee as the more crazed The fact is temperatures have not risen in a decade, and have greenies give him the appearance of being a safe pair of hands on actually been falling in recent years, despite increasing carbon climate change – doing just enough to placate green-aware citi- emissions. zens but not enough to wreck the economy.

The tide has turned for the fundamentalist zealots of the climate But his scheme is a more radical proposal than any other coun- change movement as more scientists declare their doubts that the try has adopted. science on climate change is Professor Bob Carter, a “settled”, and opinion polls Last month, on the eve of the James Cook University geolshow the public growing ogist, describes it as “the worst ever more reluctant to make Poznan climate conference, a poll single piece of legislation to be personal sacrifices to reduce tabled in the Parliament since carbon emissions. of 12,000 people in 11 countries, Federation”.

As the economy sinks, “It is a non-solution to a more people who blithely including Australia, showed the non-problem,” he says. “If ever believed in the “precautionthere were a bill that justifies a ary principle” are realising growing public reluctance to make the potential costs to their conscience vote, then this must be it, for it wittingly intends to hip pockets and have started sacrifices to reduce emissions reduce the living standards of to apply a little clear-eyed all Australians.” vision themselves.

The Czech President, Vaclav Klaus, who is taking up the EU “What was it you were saying?” they ask the vilified sceptics. presidency, describes the European climate deal as “a silly luxury”, As it turns out, plenty. Try the latest US Senate minority report so what does that make Australia’s deal? from its environment and public works committee that quotes 650 The fact sheets attached to the Government’s emissions white dissenting scientists questioning the doomsday scenario. The minorpaper reveal that, per capita, Australia’s emissions reduction will ity report, which comes from the office of Republican Senator James be 34-41 per cent below 1990 levels. That is far greater than the Inhofe, gathers quotes from sceptical scientists over the past year. comparable EU cuts of 24-34 per cent, or the United States, 25 They include Japanese scientist Dr Kiminori Itoh, who was an per cent. expert reviewer for last year’s United Nations Intergovernmental Des Moore, director of the Institute for Private Enterprise and a Panel on Climate Change report, who declared global warming former deputy Treasury secretary, says it is “ridiculous” for Australia the “worst scientific scandal in [history]”. Former NASA atmoto take the lead by starting its own scheme before all major emit- spheric scientist Dr Joanne Simpson is quoted: “Since I am no ters agree on a “global” one. longer affiliated with any organisation nor receiving any funding, He said a cap and trade style system proposed by Rudd is a I can speak quite frankly … As a scientist I remain sceptical.” “bad idea even if you believe in the need to reduce emissions. It Opinion polling reflects the mood. Last month, on the eve of requires an enormous bureaucratic interference in the economy the Poznan climate conference, a poll of 12,000 people in 11 coun16 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

The fact is temperatures have not risen in a decade, and have actually been falling in recent years, despite increasing carbon emissions

tries, including Australia, showed the growing public reluctance to make sacrifices to reduce emissions. Conducted by HSBC and green groups, it found just one in five respondents willing to spend money to reduce climate change.

Almost 20 per cent fewer people than last year were willing to make changes to their lifestyle – 47 per cent, compared to 58 per cent last year. A Lowy Institute poll in July found climate change went from being the most important issue of public concern last year to equal fifth this year.

According to the Garnaut Report, Australia was responsible for

1.5 per cent of global emissions in 2005, dropping to 1.1 per cent by 2030. So a 5 per cent reduction of 1.1 per cent is hardly going to set the world on fire – it’s a 0.055 per cent reduction in global emissions. Whoopee.

Meanwhile the world’s largest emitter, China, will almost double its emissions by 2030, from 18.3 per cent of global emissions in 2005 to 33 per cent in 2030 – a whopping one-third.

Even if we reduced our emissions by 100 per cent, as the crazies want us to, our sacrifice would be meaningless. devinemiranda@hotmail.com

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009 17

> straight talk

Mark Steyn Clashing civilizations

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o how was your holiday season? Over in Gaza, whether recover Gaza from Hamas, Fatah seized 1,000 Qassam rockets at or not they’re putting the Christ back in Christmas, they’re the university, as well as seven Iranian military trainers. certainly putting the crucifixion back in Easter. According to At a certain unspoken level, we understand that the Huntington the London-based Arabic newspaper al Hayat, on December thesis is right and the Rice view is wishful thinking. After all, when 23rd Hamas legislators voted to introduce Sharia – Islamic law – to President Sarkozy and other European critics bemoan Israel’s “disthe Palestinian Territories, including crucifixion. So next time you’re proportionate” response, what really are they saying? That they visiting what my childhood books still quaintly called “the Holy expect better from the despised Jews than from Hamas. That Land,” the re-enactments might be especially lifelike. they regard Israel as a western society bound by civilized norms, The following day, Christmas Eve, Samuel Huntington died at whereas any old barbarism issuing forth from Gaza is to be excused his home at Martha’s Vineyard. A decade and a half ago, in his most on grounds of “desperation”. Hence, this slightly surreal headline famous book The Clash Of Civilizations, Professor Huntington from The New York Times: “Israel Rejects Cease-Fire, But Offers argued that western elites’ view of man as homo economicus was Gaza Aid.” For whatever that’s worth. Wafa Samir Ibrahim alreductive and misleading – that cultural identity is a more pro- Biss, a young Palestinian woman who received considerate and found behavioral indicator than lazy assumptions about the uni- exemplary treatment at an Israeli hospital in Beersheva, returned versal appeal of western-style economic liberty and the benefits to that same hospital packed with explosives in order to blow herit brings. Very few of us want to believe this. “The great majority self up and kill the doctors and nurses who restored her to health. of Palestinian people,” Condi Rice, the Secretary of State, said to Well, what do you expect? It’s “desperation” born of “poverty” and Cal Thomas a couple of years “occupation”. back, “they just want a better If it was, it would be easy In Gaza, they don’t vote for life. This is an educated popto fix. But what if it’s not? ulation. I mean, they have a What if it’s about something Hamas because they want access kind of culture of education more primal than land borand a culture of civil society. ders and economic aid? to university education I just don’t believe mothers A couple of days after want their children to grow Hamas voted to restore up to be suicide bombers. I think the mothers want their children crucifixion to the Holy Land, their patron in Teheran (and their to grow up to go to university. And if you can create the right primary source of “aid”) put in an appearance on British TV. As conditions, that’s what people are going to do.” multicultural “balance” to Her Majesty The Queen’s traditional Cal Thomas asked a sharp follow-up: “Do you think this or do Christmas message, the TV network Channel 4 invited President you know this?”

Ahmadinejad to give an alternative Yuletide address on the grounds “Well, I think I know it,” said Secretary Rice. that it was a valuable public service to let viewers hear him “speak “You think you know it?” for himself, which people in the west don’t often get the chance “I think I know it.” to see”. In fact, as Caroline Glick pointed out in The Jerusalem I think she knows she doesn’t know it. But in the modern world Post, the great man “speaks for himself ” all the time – when he’s there is no diplomatic vocabulary for the kind of cultural fault line at the UN, calling on all countries to submit to Islam; when he’s represented by the Israeli/Palestinian dispute, so even a smart thinker presiding over his international conference of Holocaust deniers; like Dr. Rice can only frame it as an issue of economic and educa- when he’s calling for Israel to be “wiped off the map” – or (in tional opportunity. Of course, there are plenty of Palestinians like his more “moderate” moments) relocated to a couple of provthe ones the Secretary of State describes: you meet them living as inces of Germany and Austria. Caroline Glick forbore to mendoctors and lawyers in Los Angeles and Montreal and Geneva … tion that, according to President Ahmadinejad’s chief adviser but not, on the whole, in Gaza. In Gaza, they don’t vote for Hamas Hassan Abbassi, his geopolitical strategy is based on the premise because they want access to university education. Or, if they do, it’s that “Britain is the mother of all evils” – the evils being America, to get Junior into the Saudi-funded Hamas-run Islamic University Australia, Israel, the Gulf states, Canada, and New Zealand, all of Gaza, where majoring in rocket science involves making one and of which are the malign progeny of the British Empire. “We have firing it at the Zionist Entity. In 2007, as part of their attempt to established a department that will take care of England,” said Mr. 18 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

Changing culture is tough and thankless and something the west no longer has the stomach for

Abbassi in 2005. “England’s demise is on our agenda.”

So when Channel 4 says that we don’t get the chance to see these fellows speak for themselves, it would be more accurate to say that they speak for themselves incessantly but the louder they speak the more we put our hands over our ears and go “Nya nya, can’t hear you.” We do this in part because, if you’re as invested as most western elites are in the idea that all anyone wants is to go to university, get a steady job and settle down in a nice house in the suburbs, a statement such as “England’s demise is on our agenda” becomes almost literally untranslatable. When President Ahmadinejad threatens to wipe Israel off the face of the map, we deplore him as a genocidal fantasist. But maybe he’s a genocidal realist – look at the threads linking North Korea to Iran and to Iran’s clients in Syria, Lebanon, and Gaza – and we’re the fantasists.

The civilizational clashes of Professor Huntington’s book are not

inevitable. Culture is not immutable. But changing culture is tough and thankless and something the west no longer has the stomach for. Unfortunately, the Saudis do, and so do the Iranians. And not just in Gaza but elsewhere the trend is away from “moderation” and toward something fiercer and ever more implacable.

To be fair to President Ahmadinejad’s hosts at Channel 4, the “department that will take care of England” probably doesn’t get the lion’s share of the funding in Teheran. On the other hand, when Hashemi Rafsanjani describes the Zionist Entity as “the most hideous occurrence in history” which the Muslim world “will vomit out from its midst” with “a single atomic bomb”, that sounds rather more specific, if not teetering alarmingly on the “disproportionate”. Unlike its international critics in North America and Europe, Israel has no margin for error. © Mark Steyn 2009

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009 19

> eyes right

Richard Prosser View from the top

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pike Milligan, rest his tortured melancholy soul, once they highlight some of the differences between New Zealand and the wrote a book entitled Indefinite Articles and Scunthorpe. “old country.” Travel broadens the mind, so they say, and it definitely Quite why he did this I’m not sure, and although the afore- numbs the posterior, especially on Air New Zealand cattle class; cermentioned tome occupies a space in one of my numer- tainly it offers a fresh perspective and an alternative viewpoint on ous bookshelves, I must confess it is so long since I read it that I some of the issues we grapple with, daily and ideologically. haven’t a clue what it may be about anymore.

Power is one of them, and I don’t mean the geopolitical kind.

I mention it because the north Lincolnshire town referred to Britain’s influence as a global player has waned in recent decades, happens to be where I’m writing from this month. It’s a very small but her electricity networks are in rude good health. The Poms village, my partner assures me; you know, a tiny wee hamlet about give little credence to the same fictitious global warming hysteria the size of Palmerston North, home to one of Britain’s largest steel which we in New Zealand are forced, by Government and the mills, which is a bit overwhelming for a simple country boy from media, to ingest at every opportunity. Coal is the weapon of first Central Otago. And although I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, choice for electricity generation in the UK, as it is in most of the in company of my good lady and her family, it seems from the developed world, supplemented with nuclear fission. The sky steadforecast that a wet one is the best we can hope for. It is almost fastly refuses to fall in spite of these twin evils, and neither does 20 years since I last visited Pomgolia, but the weather is as much the mercury oblige the Al-Gore-ites by soaring from the depths of a culture shock now as it was then. Leaving Christchurch in of the northern hemisphere’s winter, due to the supposed ‘influbright sunshine and twenty-seven degrees, to arrive at Heathrow ence’ of gazillions of tons of CO2 spewing from the chimneys of on a leaden-skied dawn and myriad thermal generating barely above freezing, isn’t plants. The Brits don’t want While we in New Zealand are necessarily this writer’s idea to be cold, and they take a of fun. Fortunately there are somewhat jaded and more busy scrapping our Air Force, the compensations. realistic view of the baseThe United Kingdom less fear mongering of cliBrits are quietly re-equipping with mate doomsayers than we may be cold, grey, and overcrowded, but her infrastrucdo. Indeed it would appear new fighter aircraft – despite the tures are solid and impressive. that where people are faced The motorways are superb. The with the very real possibilfact that the same arguments about ity of freezing to death, they ‘A’ roads are excellent. Even the smallest winding country are less given to indulging there being no immediate enemy lane is sealed and well-signthe fantasies of obstinately posted. Then there’s draught ignorant eco-fundamenpoised on the border could be made talists, than those whose Guinness....but I digress.

The tube was as it ever was, homes happen to enjoy a for the UK as for New Zealand quick, cheap, and reliable; more benign natural clithe train from King’s Cross mate. Sure, the sky in the to Doncaster was fast, quiet, clean, and on time. As we jour- northern hemisphere tends to be a little brown around the edges, neyed north, the manicured fields and neat hedgerows of the but then mid-Canterbury can get a bit like that on a warm day, flat, sprawling English countryside slipped by under uncountable too. My point is that pollution is everywhere, but you know, the massive pylons, marching out beneath the shadow of the cooling brown stuff in the sky is actually incompletely burnt carbon, a.k.a. towers of a dozen or more coal-fired power stations. Just on dusk, soot. It is not, however much the ignorant among us struggle to a pair of Eurofighter Typhoons from RAF Waddington came in understand it, carbon dioxide, the well-known invisible trace gas low against the sunset, which is the sort of thing that excites your and essential plant food. Carbon dioxide is only made by comfavourite commentator; less encouraging was the reality that sun- plete burning, i.e. the clean bit of the process. It’s a chemical set was at quarter to four in the afternoon. thing, y’see. And soot, if it has any affect on the climate, will in But this is not a travel column. I mention these things because fact be causing us to cool, by blocking the sun’s rays – just like 20 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

what happened after Vesuvius, and Krakatoa, and Mt St Helens, and Pinatubo.

The tap water in this part of the world tastes surprisingly good, given what I had been led to expect, but what is perhaps more surprising is that there’s plenty of it. This is, after all, a country about the same size and shape as New Zealand, with a population fifteen times greater; and if, as some would have us believe, we are running short of the wet stuff, then Britain should long since have dried up completely. Yes, it rains a lot here in Blighty. But hey, it rains a lot in New Zealand as well. And we irrigate heavily for agriculture – but so do the Poms, who have a sizeable chunk more of their island dedicated to farming than we do, both as a percentage, and in terms of total hectares. Yes, it’s true – huge swathes of equivalent countryside, which are occupied by big pointy mountain ranges in New Zealand, are instead filled with gentle rolling farmland in the UK. (Japan, also the same size and shape as New Zealand, but with 125 million people and more heavy industry than you could poke a dowsing rod at, doesn’t have a water shortage either.) Maybe the drought-and-disaster gloom merchants are ignorant of these realities. Maybe they’re looking for an excuse to regulate, tax, and control us some more. Maybe they’re just lying.

Personally I suspect the latter, but then I’m a cynic who works in irrigation. Whatever the reason, the truth is the same; we’re not running out of water, any more than we’re having any affect on the earth’s climate. It is, of course, impossible to waste the stuff, as anyone with a modicum of grey matter can grasp without difficulty; it goes up, it comes down, it rolls around in a great big cycle, and it is neither created nor destroyed by any of mankind’s uses of it, though it may get dirty for a while at certain points along the way – before being completely purified again through the magic of evapo-transpiration and rainfall. And new water is also released as a by-product of the burning of fossil fuels....betcha the Greenies didn’t know that, eh – but then that’s chemistry again, and science, as we know, isn’t their strong point.

Pie-in-the-sky ideas tend to be shot down publicly here a little more readily than at home. Other things in the sky run the risk of being shot down by the Eurofighters mentioned earlier. The Cold War may be over, but that doesn’t mean the British have adopted the rather infantile New Zealand notion that this means that all wars, hot and cold, have now ended, for ever, and that Defence Forces are no longer necessary. There are five major RAF bases in Lincolnshire alone, home to Transport, Strike, AWACS, Maritime Patrol, and Interceptor squadrons. Post-Imperial Britain may speak softly these days, but she still carries a Big Stick. In New Zealand we seem to have made the presumption that because the rain has stopped, it’s a good idea to take the roof off the house and sell it, on the basis of a few people’s private forecast that it’s never going to rain again – and that if it ever does, we can always borrow a tarp from the neighbours. This would be funnier if it wasn’t true, certainly of the previous Government and its “look Mum, no hands” approach to Defence, and less terrifying if it didn’t appear very much as if the new National administration was harbouring similar ridiculous fantasies.

The pacifists – who I genuinely believe to be suffering from some form of mental illness – may have decided to ignore the harsh realities of life and the human condition, proven time and again over countless millennia of recorded history, and experienced to such blunt effect by the likes of Moriori and Tibet, and urge us to beat our swords into ploughshares; but that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea, or that we should listen to them and act accordingly.

Of a few things in life, we may be quite certain; death and taxes

are among them, and so are the facts that it will eventually rain again, and that sooner or later, there will be another war. When the next war comes, it will be visited upon us whether we seek it or not, and our survival – or not – will be determined by our level of preparedness, of our own regard and our own breadth of capabilities. Countries who are our friends now, may or may not be then, and partners and allies who stand by us today may be unwilling or indeed unable to stand by us tomorrow.

While we in New Zealand are busy scrapping our Air Force, the Brits are quietly re-equipping with new fighter aircraft – despite the fact that the same arguments about there being no immediate enemy poised on the border could be made for the UK as for New Zealand. While we wrestle vainly with trying to jerry-build a modern Navy out of unarmed civilian ships and grey paint, the British are soberly going about replacing their nuclear deterrent with a new generation of submarines and ballistic missiles.

Now don’t get me wrong, there is much about the United Kingdom which is less than perfect, and I’m not about to emigrate anytime soon. But there is also a great deal which we could still learn from Old Mother England, and her wisdom gained from centuries of experience of life, Empire, and the unchanging human psyche.

I will end by relaying that I have watched the TV evening news every night for the two weeks I’ve been here, and New Zealand hasn’t been mentioned once. Not a word about windfarms or carbon footprints, whales, snails, our clean, green, nuclear-freeness, microchips, smacking, the Americas’ Cup, the time we hosted APEC, or even that irritating childish haka. It would appear that the world doesn’t actually give a wet slap about what New Zealand thinks, about anything at all, and we would do well to be wary of those politicians who justify their excesses against us, by claiming that it does.

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> line one

Chris Carter

New Year’s resolutions for NZ

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hose whom the Gods wish to destroy they first make mad” numbered by Gang members alone to a ratio of around three to is an old quotation that, increasingly, is starting to bear all one. Incidentally, should New Zealand be policed to the same the hallmarks of straight out prophesy, as with little need population ratio as currently enjoyed by the city of New York, for much debate, the way to fame and fortune even in these our current Police force would essentially be doubled to around turbulent times would be to own a mega factory churning out high 18,000. Perhaps then we could also introduce the very successful quality strait jackets. And no, we have little need to examine the “Broken Windows” policy, where all crime, no matter how small is land of the Great Satan, nor even the increasingly bizarre world of relentlessly pursued and prosecuted, leading, as we now all know, Gordon Brown as he hammers the last handful of nails into the to the most dramatic reduction in serious crime that New York Poms’ financial and moral coffin, shortly to contain the last remains has ever seen in its long history. of a truly great society. It is much better, to make good use of the Then, as we have previously mentioned in this column, our short period of time still hopefully remaining to us, right here in Armed Forces are now so shamefully starved of both equipment New Zealand, to concentrate entirely on some very important mat- and personnel, that they would now be hard pressed to mount an ters over which we may still enjoy a measure of some control. effective defence against a gang of determined local skin heads.

Should we somehow manage to resurrect the better part of the God help us at the moment if we are ever faced with an approachtrue spirit of New Zealand that over the last couple of generations ing canoe-borne invasion from one of the Pacific territories that we have all been seen to so carelessly cast aside, then perhaps we we’ve managed to recently upset. can meaningfully claim, at last, Then we come to our now to be really leading the world largely dysfunctional jusClasses of forty or more in something worthwhile. tice system which currently First up, starting at the top, insults our society with litstudents being taught by a really Government. Surely we have tle more than a semblance to immediately get rid of list of the duties that it’s meant good teacher are infinitely more seats in Parliament if for no to perform. From the “flip other reason than this system a coin” approach to senhas simply reduced the demo- preferable than 25 kids being taught tencing, and the release on cratic process to being, to say probation of people still so by a moronic mind molester the least, a form of political dangerous that they would Lotto. Certainly the voters pay be better off ending their for the tickets but invariably are ignorant of the prizes on offer, nor days in a cage at the zoo. Defendants, (and the public) having to for that matter, do they have any idea at all as to the character or wait frequently for two or three years before cases finally come to even intelligence of the list member subsequently “elected”. In other court, at which point, the vagaries of time-warped human memory, words, in recent years we have turned the simple act of voting for perhaps witnesses having died, police having left the force pretty parties or specific individuals, into a mystery envelope process where well guarantee that the quality of justice is now so much degraded these days a drooling idiot can, and by all indications frequently as perhaps becoming almost non-existent. Where we have been does, enter Parliament to become little more than a political pros- getting some of our Judges in recent times is also a bit of a worry. titute, hiring out their dubious vote to the highest bidder.

Sure we are fortunate that most appear to be highly competent, Sorting this iniquitous and ludicrous system out would go a but increasingly a number of Judges apparently devise sentences long way towards re-establishing an efficient and properly focused that they hand down with thought processes so woolly that you Parliament much more able to concentrate on the many problems could knit a good size sweater with them. that plainly lie ahead. The next matter requiring our immediate That, increasingly, so many victims of crime now feel that there is, attention is our people’s security and safety, which as of now is for them, no justice at all coming from these worthies’ bizarre senin a complete state of disarray. Defence, both national and inter- tencing practises is quite understandable, the eventual worry being, national has degenerated to the point where our citizens increas- if this is allowed to continue, that people will start dishing out jusingly fall victim to an out of control and steeply growing criminal tice themselves. Moving along to our prisons, now being managed infrastructure, where currently our Police are thought to be out- by people who seem to believe that the inmates should more or less 22 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

be left alone to run the joint themselves, whilst paying prison officers so poorly that corruption etc. has already started to become a very real factor. Recent, verified stories coming out of H.M. prisons give many people the impression that maybe we have the wrong people behind bars, like perhaps some of the senior management could well benefit from a spell in a mental hospital!

I get the idea that we have a busy few years ahead of us to try out a new system of reforms starting at the top instead of the other way around. Then as a matter of great urgency we just have to sort out what we now jokingly refer to as our “education” system. Starting with teachers of whom there are plenty who thoroughly deserve massive pay increases, as equally there are a number so bad that they would probably struggle to fill in the dole forms with which they should immediately be issued. Classes of forty or more students being taught by a really good teacher are infinitely more preferable than 25 kids being taught by a moronic mind molester. But once again starting at the top, the enormous bureaucracy in Wellington, hide bound with social and politically correct experimentation, now owes more to the content of the Augian Stables than any worthwhile consideration of its immediate de-establishment.

Fire the lot of them and start again can be the only real answer if we really want to cut out and destroy the cancer that has condemned so many innocent youngsters to the life of misery that illiteracy absolutely guarantees them. Perhaps the re-establishment of specialised trade schools along with a 9 to 4.30 work day at secondary schools might have the double effect of increased teaching time plus keeping the kids off the streets and out of mischief as a bit of a bonus.

By the way, nearly forgot, get rid of the legions of time-serving bureaucrats in Wellington and the reams of meaningless paperwork they generate will largely disappear, leaving teachers with the time to finally do what they’ve always tried to do, teach the kids! Dare we even mention our benighted health system? Once again here is a prime area where matters have long since progressed way beyond any possibility of reform. A little like Monty Python’s fabled parrot sketch, “it is demised, ceased to be, bereft of life” or as I frankly prefer, a single and very descriptive word that was also used, that common decency prevents me from quoting!

However, despite the previous government, shovelling our money in untold billions into the health system, it did not get better, despite the lies they told. It has beyond any doubt at all

become almost immeasurably worse. That once again hordes of useless bureaucrats have got off with a high proportion of all this largess now is crystal clear. That people are now dying on a regular basis, having to fly to Australia to receive treatment, we are loosing our doctors and nurses overseas faster than we can train them, and then incidentally despite our hand ringing so called concern about the third world, we steal all the medical staff that we can from them out of sheer desperation.

And let’s not be politically correct over this intolerable staffing situation either. Fact is that our trained in NZ folk are amongst the best medical staff in the world. The people that they are generally being replaced with are not, simple as that! Right now it would be cheaper and health wise infinitely better to simply give over our entire hospital system to Southern Cross. Give it to them, completely free of charge, whereupon the billions of dollars the Government is currently spending could then be used to buy every member of our society a gold plated health insurance policy. Furthermore, Southern Cross’s shares would be a brilliant buy for investors because you can guarantee they would provide a great service and make themselves a fortune at the same time.

So what do you reckon?

It is time for some genuine reform, and around matters that we just about all know need fixing and now if not sooner. Or, shall we do the New Zealand thing and spend the next decade having meetings, employing consultants, maybe having the occasional Royal Commission or so, or will the situation that we find ourselves in regarding reforms be self healing as our daily exodus of Kiwis goes well up from its hundred a day, inevitably leaving those behind them with neither the wit nor the energy to turn our country back around. John Key, should he have the guts to get stuck into our many major problems, could well do the job we all know needs doing. If not, perhaps our country will be inherited finally by such doyens of sharing and caring as some of those currently dwelling in Parliament who would have us living in a tent, eating lentils and visiting a be-feathered shaman for our serious health needs.

Me? Stay and fight or hop on the big white bird...No choice at all really; we’ve got a great country here that we’ve managed to pretty well stuff up, so the least we can do, especially for our kids, is to hand the place on in good shape...just needs doing, not just talking about eh?

Chris Carter appears in association with www.snitch.co.nz, a must-see site.

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INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009 23

> soapbox

Lasantha Wickrematunga

Editorial written by him to be published after his death

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ONTEXT: Colombo, Jan 8th, 2009 (AFP) – The editor of a Sri Lankan newspaper that has been highly critical of the island’s hawkish government and its war on Tamil rebels was shot dead Thursday, in the second attack on the press in a week. Gunmen on two motorcycles opened fire on Lasantha Wickrematunga, editor of the Sunday Leader, as he drove to work near the capital Colombo, police spokesman Ranjith Gunasekera said…

Whatever else I may have been stuck for, I have not been stuck for choice.

But there is a calling that is yet above high office, fame, lucre and security. It is the call of conscience.

The Sunday Leader has been a controversial newspaper because we say it like we see it: whether it be a spade, a thief or a murderer, we call it by that name. We do not hide behind euphemism. The investigative articles we print are supported by documentary eviNo other profession calls on its practitioners to lay down their lives dence thanks to the public-spiritedness of citizens who at great for their art save the armed forces and, in Sri Lanka, journalism. risk to themselves pass on this material to us. We have exposed In the course of the past few years, the independent media have scandal after scandal, and never once in these 15 years has anyone increasingly come under attack. Electronic and print-media insti- proved us wrong or successfully prosecuted us. tutions have been burnt, bombed, sealed and coerced. Countless The free media serve as a mirror in which the public can see itself journalists have been harassed, threatened and killed. It has been sans mascara and styling gel. From us you learn the state of your my honour to belong to all those categories and now especially nation, and especially its management by the people you elected the last. to give your children a better future. Sometimes the image you see I have been in the business in that mirror is not a pleasof journalism a good long ant one. But while you may I hope my assassination will be time. Indeed, 2009 will be grumble in the privacy of The Sunday Leader’s 15th year. armchair, the journalseen not as a defeat of freedom but your Many things have changed in ists who hold the mirror up Sri Lanka during that time, you do so publicly and an inspiration for those who survive to and it does not need me to at great risk to themselves. tell you that the greater part That is our calling, and we to step up their efforts of that change has been for the do not shirk it. worse. We find ourselves in the Every newspaper has its midst of a civil war ruthlessly prosecuted by protagonists whose angle, and we do not hide the fact that we have ours. Our commitbloodlust knows no bounds. Terror, whether perpetrated by terror- ment is to see Sri Lanka as a transparent, secular, liberal democracy. ists or the state, has become the order of the day. Indeed, murder Think about those words, for they each has profound meaning. has become the primary tool whereby the state seeks to control Transparent because government must be openly accountable the organs of liberty. Today it is the journalists, tomorrow it will to the people and never abuse their trust. Secular because in a be the judges. For neither group have the risks ever been higher multi-ethnic and multi-cultural society such as ours, secularor the stakes lower. ism offers the only common ground by which we might all be Why then do we do it? I often wonder that. After all, I too am united. Liberal because we recognise that all human beings are a husband, and the father of three wonderful children. I too have created different, and we need to accept others for what they are responsibilities and obligations that transcend my profession, be and not what we would like them to be. And democratic... well, it the law or journalism. Is it worth the risk? Many people tell if you need me to explain why that is important, you’d best stop me it is not. Friends tell me to revert to the bar, and goodness buying this paper. knows it offers a better and safer livelihood. Others, including The Sunday Leader has never sought safety by unquestioningly political leaders on both sides, have at various times sought to articulating the majority view. Let’s face it that is the way to sell induce me to take to politics, going so far as to offer me minis- newspapers. On the contrary, as our opinion pieces over the years tries of my choice. amply demonstrate, we often voice ideas that many people find disDiplomats, recognising the risk journalists face in Sri Lanka, tasteful. For example, we have consistently espoused the view that have offered me safe passage and the right of residence in their while separatist terrorism must be eradicated, it is more important countries. to address the root causes of terrorism, and urged government to 24 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

view Sri Lanka’s ethnic strife in the context of the propaganda of the day, you were allowed history and not through the telescope of terto hear a contrary view. For this I – and my rorism. We have also agitated against state terfamily – have now paid the price that I have rorism in the so-called war against terror, and long known I will one day have to pay. I am made no secret of our horror that Sri Lanka – and have always been – ready for that. I have is the only country in the world routinely to done nothing to prevent this outcome: no bomb its own citizens. For these views we have security, no precautions. I want my murderer been labelled traitors, and if this be treachery, to know that I am not a coward like he is, hidwe wear that label proudly. ing behind human shields while condemning Many people suspect that The Sunday Leader thousands of innocents to death. What am I has a political agenda: it does not. If we appear among so many? It has long been written that more critical of the government than of the my life would be taken, and by whom. All that opposition it is only because we believe that – remains to be written is when. pray excuse cricketing argot – there is no point That The Sunday Leader will continue fightin bowling to the fielding side. Remember that ing the good fight, too, is written. For I did for the few years of our existence in which the not fight this fight alone. Many more of us UNP was in office, we proved to be the biggest have to be – and will be – killed before The thorn in its flesh, exposing excess and corrupLeader is laid to rest. I hope my assassination While you may will tion wherever it occurred. Indeed, the steady be seen not as a defeat of freedom but an stream of embarrassing expos’s we published inspiration for those who survive to step up grumble in the may well have served to precipitate the downtheir efforts. fall of that government.

If we do not speak out now, there will be no privacy of your Neither should our distaste for the war be one left to speak for those who cannot, whether interpreted to mean that we support the Tigers. they be ethnic minorities, the disadvantaged or armchair, the The LTTE are among the most ruthless and the persecuted. An example that has inspired bloodthirsty organisations ever to have infested me throughout my career in journalism has journalists who the planet. There is no gainsaying that it must been that of the German theologian, Martin be eradicated. But to do so by violating the Niem”ller. In his youth he was an anti-Semite hold the mirror rights of Tamil citizens, bombing and shooting and an admirer of Hitler. As Nazism took hold them mercilessly, is not only wrong but shames in Germany, however, he saw Nazism for what up to you do so the Sinhalese, whose claim to be custodians of it was: it was not just the Jews Hitler sought the dhamma is forever called into question by to extirpate, it was just about anyone with an publicly and this savagery, much of which is unknown to alternate point of view. the public because of censorship.

Niem”ller spoke out, and for his trouble at great risk to What is more, a military occupation of the was incarcerated in the Sachsenhausen and country’s north and east will require the Tamil Dachau concentration camps from 1937 to themselves people of those regions to live eternally as sec1945, and very nearly executed. While incarond-class citizens, deprived of all self respect. cerated, Niem”ller wrote a poem that, from Do not imagine that you can placate them by showering “devel- the first time I read it in my teenage years, stuck hauntingly in opment” and “reconstruction” on them in the post-war era. The my mind: wounds of war will scar them forever, and you will also have an even more bitter and hateful Diaspora to contend with. A probFirst they came for the Jews lem amenable to a political solution will thus become a festering and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew. wound that will yield strife for all eternity. If I seem angry and Then they came for the Communists frustrated, it is only because most of my countrymen – and all of and I did not speak out because I was not a Communist. the government – cannot see this writing so plainly on the wall.

Then they came for the trade unionists It is well known that I was on two occasions brutally assaulted, and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist. while on another my house was sprayed with machine-gun fire.

Then they came for me Despite the government’s sanctimonious assurances, there was and there was no one left to speak out for me. never a serious police inquiry into the perpetrators of these attacks, and the attackers were never apprehended. In all these cases, I If you remember nothing else, remember this: The Leader is there have reason to believe the attacks were inspired by the govern- for you, be you Sinhalese, Tamil, Muslim, low-caste, homosexment. When finally I am killed, it will be the government that ual, dissident or disabled. Its staff will fight on, unbowed and kills me. unafraid, with the courage to which you have become accusAs for the readers of The Sunday Leader, what can I say but Thank tomed. Do not take that commitment for granted. Let there be You for supporting our mission. We have espoused unpopular no doubt that whatever sacrifices we journalists make, they are causes, stood up for those too feeble to stand up for themselves, not made for our own glory or enrichment: they are made for locked horns with the high and mighty so swollen with power you. Whether you deserve their sacrifice is another matter. As for that they have forgotten their roots, exposed corruption and the me, God knows I tried. waste of your hard-earned tax rupees, and made sure that whatever Lasantha Wickrematunga INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009 25

A Time of

Opportunity Why it isn’t as bad as it looks

Whatever you make of the world financial crash, it doesn’t have to be the end of your world.

We examine options to help you survive, and perhaps even prosper, in a gloomy economy.

26 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

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or the past six years, New Zealand has ridden the crest of an investment bubble. The economy, which had been in the doldrums in the late nineties, early 2000s, turned in the summer of 2002 and began to swing upward for the first time in five years.

A number of things were factors, including the feelgood buzz surrounding New Zealand’s (ultimately ill-fated) America’s Cup defence, but probably the biggest was the emergence of cheap Japanese cash.

As Investigate’s Selwyn Parker has previously explained, Ma and Pa investors in Japan found they could enjoy interest rates of 5% if they deposited their cash in New Zealand banks, instead of half a percent interest on the depressed Japanese markets back then.

Suddenly New Zealand, and a number of other Western economies, were awash in what became known as “uridashi’ bonds. New Zealand banks, suddenly having all this cash on their hands, lent it out cheaply to householders with six and seven percent mortgages, fuelling a massive property boom and associated consumer spending spree as we all tooled up with the latest big screen TVs and other desirable gadgets.

This, plus a more liberal approach to immigration, combined

to keep New Zealanders in the good times to which we’d become accustomed.

However, like all boom cycles, there’s a bust.

Arguably this bust is bigger than most because it goes to the heart of Gekko’s truism in Wall Street: “Greed, for lack of a better word, is good.”

Barring the occasional correction, Wall Street has never taken a slide like the last four months since 1929. The new monetary system that came into place in the thirties is under heavy pressure and may yet collapse some more.

So where’s the good news in that, you ask?

An old prayer, well known to many, goes: “God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things that should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.”

There is nothing New Zealanders or Australians can do to change the economic position globally, so there’s little point stressing about it. There is, however, plenty that can be done at a local level to strengthen your own home and family position against the vagaries of the world.

With such a sharp collapse, interest rates have tumbled and INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009 27

will tumble even further. That creates opportunities – even for those of us forced to lock in fixed rate mortgages between nine and 10% early last year.

CONSIDER BREAKING YOUR FIXED MORTGAGE A homeowner with a 300,000 mortgage at 9.3% over 25 years is currently paying somewhere in the region of $2,580 a month in repayments. But with lending rates down to 6.7%, your repayment would drop to just $2,060, a reduction of $500 a month.

If you’re locked in with three years still to run at 9.3%, you could be forgiven for feeling depressed, but the smart option is to look at breaking the contract, sooner rather than later.

A Sunday Star-Times investigation this month found that a homeowner with nearly four years left to run on a $200,000 loan would be hit with an astonishing break fee of more than $21,000

by Kiwibank and Westpac, but only $8,000 by BNZ. At $21,000, breaking the loan is uneconomic, because the savings in payments over the loan period would only total $16,000 – still short of the breakage fee. But at $8,000, breaking the loan makes financial sense.

A word to the wise – the next round of interest rate cuts at the end of January are likely to make breaking fees more expensive, so if this is a path you wish to explore, move swiftly.

There’s also a psychological aspect to recessions: if you think you’re in one, you’re in one. But one person’s recession is another’s field of dreams.

CONSOLIDATE YOUR DEBT If you have the equity in your home, now’s a very good time to borrow on the mortgage and pay off all your credit cards and outstanding HP deals. Freeing up cashflow will go a long way towards getting you through the economic slowdown.

NOW’S A GOOD TIME TO BUY With house price expectations down, and interest rates down, housing is now more affordable than it has been in several years.

While not everyone needs to sell and prices overall won’t tank, there are enough on the margins who have to clear their properties that bargains can now be found.

For those who cashed up during the boom and rented, now’s the time to move back into property and stop paying the landlord.

Building a home in a recession is a good thing – labour is plentiful and building retailers and trades will be keen to get the work and the contracts to fit out the property, giving clients greater bargaining power than they had during the hectic boom years.

CHEAPER FUEL Another reason for optimism – despite peak oil production nearing, the world slump has radically eased demand for fuel in the interim, dragging petrol prices sharply down. It’s costing you much less to fill your tank up each week.

CHEAPER TRAVEL Not only are fuel costs down, giving airlines room to move on ticket prices, but the impact of the recession in the US and Europe means the world’s most numerous travel consumers are not travelling much at the moment. As a result, international destinations and resorts are desperate to fill space and there are deals to be had for those inclined to travel now. Additionally, the tourist spots are less crowded as a result.

28 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

GROW YOUR OWN Lifestyle blockers will be among those counting their blessings, with plenty of arable land and the chance to run stock to help offload some of the monthly food bills, but even in the city there are opportunities to be had. On larger city sections, two or three chooks can provide ample eggs for a family’s needs, and a vegetable garden is an easy weekend project in most cases.

CHILL OUT Be sensible about financial panic. Saving $4 here and there is not going to make a big dent in your overall debt levels, but your reluctance to spend on little things – multiplied by thousands of other people doing the same kind of retrenchment – could impact on the jobs of others, and help lengthen the recession. The more people who get put out of work because we don’t buy their products, the greater the likelihood that your own job could eventually be placed at risk because no-one is around to purchase the products or services your own employer provides.

– Ian Wishart

10 STEPS TO A BETTER FAMILY BUDGET

By Louis Carlozo ranted, the recession looks bound to stick around far longer than a New Year’s hangover. But take heart: 2009 marks an ideal time to take hold of your finances and create a family budget that gives you fiscal peace and a clear list of spending and saving goals for the months ahead, whether you’re looking to pay down credit cards, fund a vacation or simply get your financial house in order.

We consulted experts from four corners of the money world: a financial consultant, a wealth manager, a vice president at a creditdebt counselling nonprofit and a metropolitan city treasurer, whose office conducts periodic family budget seminars.

This 10-step plan based on their advice can help you build a better family budget – one that sticks. So take a deep breath, sharpen those pencils and remember: Budgets work much like diets. You can’t succeed unless you commit to sensible behaviour modification first.

That means no half-hearted efforts – or starvation methods.

“If you deny yourself Oreos and you really love them, at some point you will eat the whole pack,” says Julie Murphy Casserly, who heads JMC Wealth Management in the US. “I’ve seen that pattern where people will not spend for nine months, and then go hog wild. So I have people set up a shopping fund, so that they can scratch that itch every once in a while.”

Getting started: You’ll need a few tools. A pencil and a calculator are key. But to track your spending and planning, our experts shared their most useful worksheets. They can be found at chicagotribune.com/budgetforms.

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1. KNOW YOUR SITUATION Take stock of your financial health.

• What major financial challenges do you face?

• State your financial positives in terms of income, debt management, savings.

• How do you think you got to this point – and what would you like to see change?

• How well prepared are you for a financial emergency?

Write it down now: The amount we have tucked in a rainy-day fund is ___.

• How is the topic of money addressed in your family: emotionally or rationally?

• Who makes the financial decisions? Why? How much collaboration is there?

Why it matters: clarity and commitment. Experts agree that before crunching the numbers, families need to take stock of their financial health – and the best chance of success comes from having both partners on board. “I call this facing your current reality,” says Casserly.

2. SET YOUR COURSE Budgets begin with setting goals. List: • Debts you want to pay off.

• Dreams you want to save for.

• Financial priorities in the short, medium and long term.

• Other factors (a possible career change, relocation, school) that might come into play.

Why it matters: empowerment. “There’s not a lot of value for most people in having them go to their basement to drag out 10 years of records,” says Cate Williams, vice president of financial literacy for Money Management International, a nonprofit credit, debt counselling and education agency. “This is about looking forward to what we can change.”

3. WRITE IT ALL DOWN Take the digits down to the nitty-gritty. Use one of the monthly family budget charts posted at chicagotribune.com/budgetforms.

There’s also included a sheet to track your daily spending. Plug in the numbers so that you can get a sense of exactly how much you spend on specific items. One month is sufficient, but if you can get figures going back over several months, it will better help you track spending patterns.

Why it matters: consciousness. Maybe you thought you knew how much you spent on mega lattes, until you saw the numbers in front of you.

“For most people I can find $65-$85 a month in savings” – or more than $750 a year, Williams says. “There’s some low-hangINVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009 29

ing fruit I can always find: Starbucks, not eating out every day.

With clothes, most of us simply have enough in our closet that we could go a year without buying anything and not be arrested for indecency.”

4. PLUG SPENDING LEAKS First, take a look at non-monthly bills, such as car insurance, vehicle registration, water.

• List as many of these bills as you can identify over a 12-month period.

• Now, employ the “one-twelfth” rule, where you put aside funds for these expenses every month, so as to limit their impact when payments come due.

Next, concentrate on where you can spend less money without depriving yourself.

• What wasteful or indulgent practices can you cut back on? (taxi rides when you can walk, expensive lunches.)

• Do you shop for items you don’t need?

• Are you paying too much for services such as car insurance, pay TV or cell phone service?

• Do you have unused memberships (e.g., gym) that you’re still paying for (and could sell)?

Why it matters: proactivity. “Once you figure out the difference between needs and wants, you can really scrutinize and streamline many areas within your budget,” says Jim Stoops, a financial consultant with Charles Schwab. “Knowing where you stand and what your habits are – and knowing what you’re willing to give up – can help you establish realistic and attainable goals.”

5. PAY YOURSELF FIRST Odds are excellent that once you tweak and streamline your budget, you’ll have some breathing room. What’s the first thing you should do with any freed-up cash? Experts agree unanimously: Make saving a top priority, even if you have debts. Saving categories you’ll want to set up include: • Short term (to cover necessities you can pay for without credit).

• Medium term (items from your goal list you hope to realize in 2009).

• Long term (items that will take longer than a year to realize).

• An emergency fund. If a pipe breaks or employment is interrupted, you want to be prepared. Experts suggest a cushion equivalent to three to nine months of annual income.

Write it down now: The amount of money we can begin saving per month, right now, and stay committed to, is --.

Why it matters: Wealth begins here.

Says Casserly: “You have to play offense while you play defense.

If you are always playing defense where you’re always paying off debt, you will never get anywhere. If you get 2 percent raises for five years and took 50 percent of that new money, you’ve increased your savings by 5 percent. And you don’t even miss it.”

6. SLASH CREDIT CARD DEBT The average American with a credit file is responsible for $16,635 in debt, excluding mortgages but including car payments and hire purchase, according to Experian. If the annual percentage rate for interest on that deficit equals 10 percent, you’re paying $200 a month. Assuming you don’t rack up any more debt, you won’t be in the clear for 12 years.

30 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

The good news: You can dig out sooner if you adhere to some simple guidelines: • Pay more than the minimum due each month. It takes much longer to pay off balances when you’re only paying the minimum, most of which gets absorbed by interest charges.

• Renegotiate interest rates. With official interest rates at a record low, there’s no reason why anyone with a credit card account in good standing should pay 18 percent interest. Call your card’s customer service line and ask for a lower rate – now.

• Use debit cards instead of credit cards. They’re just as convenient as credit cards in the checkout aisle, but draw on a bank account as opposed to a credit line.

• Spend only what you can pay off each month. Credit cards work best when you pay off your monthly spending. Otherwise, you’re piling up interest charges.

DO IT NOW: Look at your working budget and see how

“Spend only what you can pay off each month. Credit cards work best when you pay off your monthly spending. Otherwise, you’re piling up interest charges” much more you can allocate to paying off credit card debt. That amount is ___.

Why it matters: Too much consumer debt can consume you.

“We have become a bling-bling society, immediate gratification, and we have to stop,” says Stephanie Neely, treasurer for the City of Chicago. “Some debt is good; a mortgage is good.

But I don’t believe that carrying $5,000, $15,000 or $20,000 in consumer debt is good. I’m just trying to get people to focus on financial fundamentals.”

7. TREAT CASH AS KING When Casserly begins working with clients, she asks them to pull out all the pocket money they’ll need for the week from an ATM. “When that money is gone, they can’t spend any more until the next week,” she says. “That system has worked extremely well.”

Experts agree that when people use cash, they mull purchases

and impulse buys with more care. In your budget, write down: • A set cash amount allocated for you and family members to spend in a week.

• Details on what triggered any excess spending. (Revisit your list of indulgences and wasteful spending habits.)

• Ideas for freeing up or bringing in extra cash. (Can your kids baby-sit? Are there basement items you can sell?)

Why it matters: control. Spending in cash tames debt and curbs excessive consumerism. “If you met anyone who lived through the Great Depression, they know where every cent went,” Casserly says.

8. AT THE BANK, GO ELECTRONIC Most banks allow electronic account management. Be sure to: • Set up recurring payments so that bills get paid on time, every time.

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“Spending in cash tames debt and curbs excessive consumerism. If you met anyone who lived through the Great Depression, they know where every cent went” • Have wages directly deposited to your bank, if your employer offers that option, to keep your money management efficient.

• Link accounts so you can transfer money from cheque to savings, and vice versa, with one mouse click.

• Check your records at least once a week to review your expenses.

Too many ATM visits or debit card purchases, for example, can throw off your budget and automatic banking.

Why it matters: efficiency. It’s much easier to save, for example, when you put savings on auto pilot.

9. BUILD A PORTFOLIO As you break the excess spending habit, and fall into the savings habit, you’re ready to tackle the next step: building investments, retirement savings and real estate equity. Sounds unattainable?

Williams says she knows many teachers “who had a limited income stream and retire at 55, go on a sailboat and have a million dollars in the bank – because they did it the old-fashioned way.”

Some steps to consider: • Meet with a financial consultant or certified financial planner to look at this crucial part of your budgeting.

• Develop a solid plan and stick with it. “All too often we’ve become complacent when the market is doing well, and fearful when the market is not doing so well,” Stoops says. “What sets the successful people apart is controlling those emotions.”

Why it matters: growth – personally as well as financially. “My 32 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

favourite saying is that you’ve got to go from a spender to budgeter, a budgeter to a saver, and a saver to an investor,” Williams says.

10. REVIEW AND REASSESS More than just a blueprint, your budget represents your spending and savings values and priorities come to life. Expect those factors to change with time: The $100 a month you allocate for kids’ diapers today could turn into college fund money in a few short years.

Make a copy of this budget and keep it visible, but keep blank copies on hand as well so that you can revise easily, using the earlier budget as a template. If you’re proficient with Microsoft Excel, Quicken or Microsoft Money, consider taking your budget the electronic route. If not, now’s a great time to learn, as all three programs rate high for user friendliness.

Most important: Go back to those original commitments you and you partner made. Go easy when one of you falls off the wagon; forging new habits is hard work. When course correction is called for, be cool and rational. Money’s a loaded subject, and experts say the less emotion surrounding it, the easier it becomes to create positive, lasting changes – and wealth to match.

Why it matters: Your budget needs nurturance – just like you.

Casserly puts it well: “It starts with a choice. If you want to be wealthy, start talking that way and thinking that way and that will be your reality.”

Recession-proof your job

By Mary Ellen Podmolik hether you are sitting in your cubicle or standing with co-workers by the coffee machine, you can see as well as anyone that the jobless rate keeps climbing: The workplace isn’t as crowded as it used to be.

It’s a numbers game now. And the challenge is to keep yourself from becoming a statistic, from becoming the next person to pack your belongings in a box.

The easiest workplace survival strategy seems a no-brainer: Keep your head down and keep quiet; this is no time to draw attention to yourself.

Wrong, wrong, wrong. This isn’t the time for no-brainers, career experts say. This is the time to grab hold of your career and recession-proof your job. That involves adjusting your attitude so it fits the seriousness of the times and taking as many specific actions as you can to beef up your performance and prove your worth to your current and perhaps future bosses.

“You need to be in control of you,” said Kirsten Dixson, coauthor of “Career Distinction: Stand Out by Building Your Brand.”

“It’s the whole concept of Me Inc. If they don’t notice you, you’ll be the first to get a pink slip,” Dixson says.

“Laying off someone who is quiet and doesn’t say anything is much easier than laying off someone who other people know is working hard,” echoes Marilyn Moats Kennedy, a management consultant. “The people who try to hide out are the first to go.”

Brian Pitts, assistant director of public relations at law firm Mayer Brown, learned the lesson of making himself indispensable seven years ago while working for a public relations agency.

When things turned bad and the staff of 100 was downsized to 16, he was one of the survivors.

“I saw a lot of my friends lose their jobs,” Pitts says. “I never came to work with fear on my mind. You just need to do outstanding work.”

At Mayer Brown, Pitts has worked to build his profile within the firm, getting involved in important transactions and expanding the circle of partners who know him and his work. At a recent office holiday party, he introduced himself to a partner not just by name but also by dropping the name of another partner for whom he had done work.

“That’s a fine line you walk,” he admits. “You don’t want to be perceived as bragging or fluffing your feathers too much.”

He also has maintained his outside network by belonging to eight professional groups. “Some of my friends think I’m nuts for going to so many groups,” he says. “Anyone can be a source of a potential new job.”

Pitts seems to have taken a page from the playbook that career consultants recommend for employees looking to boost their job security: • Keep tabs on what’s going on internally. Skip the $4 cup of coffee from the neighbourhood barista and head for the office coffee maker when others gather around the machine. Eat at your desk more often instead of heading to the local sandwich shop or going to the gym. It’s the best way to keep your ears open to office gossip as well as to potential opportunities elsewhere in the organization.

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“Stay plugged in to what’s going on and look more interested in what’s going on,” Kennedy said. “You don’t have to work out every lunch hour.”

• Perform, perform, perform and look like you’re working hard because perception is a part of performance reviews too.

“Companies don’t tend to let their top people go,” said Steve Werner, a management professor at the University of Houston.

“You should be a good employee. In some industries that means being a team player. In some industries that doesn’t matter; it means getting all the sales you can.”

• Make you and your boss look good by regularly drawing attention to your achievements.

“People assume that other people are aware of the contributions they’re making, but your manager may have other things on his mind, especially right now,” Dixson says. “It’s not about bragging or being a suck-up. It’s becoming comfortable with making others aware of your contribution. Couch it in terms of making your boss look good.”

Be careful to ensure your self-promotion is matched by performance, otherwise it will fall on deaf ears.

“It’s hard to get people to change their mind once they’ve made a decision about you,” Werner says.

• Don’t whine about an increased workload. Take your planned holiday time but don’t complain if you’re asked to occasionally come in early or stay late and take on more responsibilities in a slimmed-down workplace. “This is not a good time to be thinking of work-life balance,” Kennedy points out. “This is all hands on deck; let’s bail the boat.”

• Document what you do and how successful you are at it, for your current employer and any potential future ones.

• Network internally and externally, but do it carefully.

Discretion is key.

Don’t put your resume on job board Web sites because you never know who might run across it – your supervisor, for example. Don’t use your blog or Facebook page to trash your company, but do use social media to promote yourself and raise your visibility by discussing what you’re working on.

If you didn’t attend a holiday event sponsored by your professional organization, go to the next monthly meeting. It’s a good chance to see what opportunities may be opening up at other companies.

“The worst time to start and cultivate your network is when you’re out of a job,” Dixson says. “Do it double-time now.”

• Be prepared for the what-ifs. Update your resume but don’t use the company computer because if a layoff occurs, you may not have a chance to retrieve it.

Thinking about changing jobs? Think hard before you make a move; low seniority and performance are the two most common reasons people are laid off.

“What does that mean for you? You need to realize that if you change jobs now, if that company has a layoff, you may be the first to go,” Werner says.

5 STEPS TO WORKPLACE SECURITY 1. Stay plugged in at the office.

2. Perform. Perform. Perform.

3. Make yourself and your boss look good.

4. Don’t whine about an increased workload.

5. Document what you do and your rate of success.

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Red Jihad Palestine crisis seen as opportunity by hard left groups Marxists are using Muslims as a battering ram against the West. New Zealand is not immune, writes TREVOR LOUDON

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fter weeks of rocket attacks on Israel, originating from Hamas controlled Gaza, Israel has retaliated with targeted air strikes and a full scale ground invasion.

Predictably, this has sparked a world wide wave of protests against Israel’s actions.

From Amsterdam to Auckland, anarchists and Marxists have marched with Muslim militants, screaming anti Zionist slogans and condemning the Israeli “Apartheid” state.

Who are these people? Why do they hate Israel so? Why do they wish to stop Israel defending its own citizen’s from attack?

The anti Israel brigade in New Zealand is centred on a few organisations, mainly based in Auckland and Wellington.

While they all have some Muslim members, all of them were founded by socialists and all owe their allegiance far more to Marxism than to Islam.

While sometimes attacked as being anti-Semitic, these organisations are in reality motivated not by race or religion, but by political and strategic concerns.

While usually seen as focused on Israel, Iraq and Afghanistan, their real target is Western culture and liberal capitalism. Their activities should be of concern to us all, because ultimately their actions are aimed at changing New Zealand as much as Israel.

Israel once was the darling of the left. Founded largely by European Zionist socialists, Israel in its infancy was virtually a Soviet client state.

The Soviet Union supported the 1947 United Nations Partition of Palestine Resolution, and in 1948 it recognized the new State of Israel. Relations between Israel and the Soviets soured in the 1950s, with Moscow turning to Egypt and Syria, and Tel Aviv turning to Washington for support. In the early 1960s the Soviets began to back the Palestinian cause and to help the Palestinian Liberation Organisation (PLO) with intelligence, training and military hardware.

As part of its “Third World” strategy China also began to develop ties with the Arab world, so Israel gained another powerful enemy.

Like the puppets they were, Western communist parties, once uniformly pro-Israel, quickly became ardently “Anti-Zionist”.

The communist movement had been infiltrating Muslim Universities and religious movements since the 1920s. Once Israel had moved clearly into the Western alliance, the Soviets and Chinese exploited Arab hatred of “Zionism” to build an enduring Marxist/Muslim alliance. While atheistic socialism and Islamic fundamentalism are miles apart philosophically, the Marxists knew they could harness Muslim hatred of the Western “Crusaders” and the “Zionists” to their strategic advantage.

As early as the 1970s New Zealand Marxists were banging the “anti-Zionist” drum. Pro-Chinese students from the New Zealand University Students Association moved a resolution to expel Israel from the left wing Asian Students Association.

In 1978 Trotskyist students organised a visit by a senior PLO member to Auckland.

By the early 1980s pro Chinese students from the Workers Communist League (WCL) controlled student politics at Wellington’s Victoria University. The “Weasels” as the WCL students were often known, moved resolution after resolution condemning “Zionism” and demonstrated in the streets after Israel’s invasion of Lebanon in 1982.

36 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

Off campus the Weasels were allied to New Zealand’s oldest Marxist/ Muslim coalition, the Wellington Palestine Group (WPG).

Militantly anti-Israel and pro-“Palestine”, the WPG has been pushing the Marxist-Leninist line on Middle Eastern affairs for at least a quarter of a century.

Prominent members during that time have included; Alick Shaw. In the early 1980s, the future deputy mayor of Wellington was a prominent member of both the WCL and the WPG. Shirleen Casey. Named in a 1981 Security Intelligence Service report as a probable member of the WCL and a member of the Wellington Palestine support group. In 1987 Casey visited the Palestinian Union of Womens Committees and the Union of Palestinian Medical Relief Committees. In August 1988 she attended the 4th Palestine Conference at Te Rau-Oriwa Marae, Christchurch.

Eileen Cassidy. Named in a 1981 Security Intelligence Service report as a probable member of the WCL and a member of Wellington Palestine support group. Her daughter Lindy was a confirmed member of the WCL’s predecessor, the Wellington Marxist-Leninist Organisation.

In August 1990 Eileen Cassidy wrote two articles for the proSoviet Socialist Unity Party’s “Tribune”, one featuring the WPG and the other entitled “Israel fuels war in the Horn of Africa.” On 26th April 2000, this ad appeared in a Wellington publication: “something to celebrate? Israeli diplomats have invited NZ politicians and various ‘notables’ to celebrate the 53rd anniversary of the founding of the State of Israel. The Wellington Palestine Support Group and other ‘notables’ will be presenting an alternative viewpoint, join them from 12 noon to 2pm, outside the James Cook Centra Hotel, 153 The Terrace. For more information contact Eileen Cassidy…, Jan Farr. Active in WPG in the early 1990s. Farr was also member of the Socialist Unity Party’s Central Committee and Commission on Peace and Solidarity-the party organ entrusted with supporting foreign radical movements. She also edited the party’s newspaper “Tribune” from the early ‘80s until 1993.

In October 1990 Farr wrote article for Tribune on Iraq which included the line “The United States has been sabre rattling since the crisis began. It says much for Saddam Hussein’s restraint that we are not now involved in a full scale chemical war in the Middle East.”

Nadia El Maroufi. An Invercargill raised Palestinian, El Maroufi was educated at Otago and Canterbury universities where she was active in Palestinian solidarity work. She spent some time in Palestine and by the late ‘90s was back in New Zealand and active in the WPG. El Maroufi is now involved with the political studies programme at Victoria University.

Serena Moran. In 1997, Moran was one 75 people arrested after a student protest in the grounds of Parliament. In September 2000 she was one of eight activists arrested at an anti capitalism protest in Cuba Street, Wellington. One of Moran’s comrades in this incident, Rob Gilchrist was recently exposed as a police spy. In recent years Moran has been a spokeswoman for WPG. Tali Williams. In 1998 Williams was on the executive of the Marxist controlled UNITE union. She was also active in the National Youth Network, the junior wing of Sue Bradford’s radical People’s Network.

In September 2000, Williams was also arrested at the anti capitalism protest in Cuba Street. In recent times Williams has been a trustee of Sue Bradford’s Kotare Marxist training school, near Wellsford, north of Auckland and a spokesman for WPG. Omar Khamoun. A Wellington taxi-driver and WPG spokesman.

In April 2007 Khamoun signed a Socialist Worker organised state-

“While usually seen as focused on Israel, Iraq and Afghanistan, their real target is Western culture and liberal capitalism. Their activities should be of concern to us all, because ultimately their actions are aimed at changing New Zealand as much as Israel” ment, condemning the stereotyping of Muslims in NZ. He claims to be a cousin of Hassan Kemmoun -allegedly a member of the radical North African Party for Democracy and Socialism.

In the English speaking world, the most active pro-Muslim leftists are affiliates of the Trotskyist International Socialist Tendency (IST). In Britain this means the Socialist Workers Party and their puppet, the Marxist/Muslim RESPECT electoral coalition.

Their New Zealand counterparts are a mix of former Communist Party members and younger Trotskyists, now organized as Socialist Worker.

Until he left to form his own splinter group, early in 2008, Joe Carolan was a member of Socialist Worker’s three member executive committee. Originally from Eire, Carolan has been an IST

activist in his native country and in Europe. He can claim to speak with some authority on Socialist Worker policy and tactics.

I quote from a post on Carolan’s blog, Anticapitaliste from March 2007.

“We also do not see Muslims as victims who need us to represent them. The comrades of Hizbollah and the Lebanese Communist Party fought arm in arm together against the Israeli invasion without our help. They defeated the fifth strongest army in the world.

Socialists, however, see it as our international duty to organise protests and solidarity whenever people are under attack. Throughout the Western world, from London to Washington to Auckland , we have been at the centre of building broad, inclusive anti war movements that have helped undermine the support for war.

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“Socialist Worker comrades argued hardest throughout the world for the Muslim community to be centrally involved in these anti war coalitions, against many pure secularists who wanted to marginalise them. These movements claimed the scalp of Aznar in Spain , Berlusconi in Italy, and have seriously damaged both Bush and Blair. Comrades in the Middle East can point to the fact that millions of Westerners marched against war and invasion, thus defeating the myth that this war was a Clash of Civilisations.

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onservative José María Aznar, who was favoured to win Spain’s 2004 elections, was defeated by the Socialists after Muslim terrorists murdered several hundred people in the Madrid train bombings. Is this the “scalp” that Carolan seems so proud of?

Italian conservative Prime minister Silvio Berlusconi was defeated in 2006 by the Socialists and Communists in a razor thin victory – he has since regained his position. At the time I blogged that the left were courting the Italian Muslim vote and speculated that this may have tipped the balance. Apparently Joe Carolan agrees with me.

Carolan continues; “And it’s not just the socialists of a ‘Eurocentric’ ilk who extended this practical solidarity. The socialist President of revolutionary Venezuela, Hugo Chavez, was the only head of state to expel the Israeli ambassador from his country at that time – no Arab or Muslim head of state did anything similar. His image hung beside Hizbollah’s Nisrallah from thousands of lamp posts in Beirut and Southern Lebanon as the cluster bombs fell and the resistance raged. The emergence of the Bolivarian Revolution and the Latin American radical left demolishes the myth that socialism is the preserve of old, European white men. The Socialism of the 21st Century is currently led by a brown, indigenous Latin American from the Global South.

“Here in Auckland, socialists such as Kane Forbes helped to form the Students for Justice in Palestine Chapter in Auckland Uni with Zaem Bakesh in the early days of the Intifada in 2000.

Our members in the Residents Action Movement (RAM) are currently working with the Muslim community to respond against the despicable Islamphobia of Ian Wishart’s Investigate magazine.

We have marched together for Palestine , Lebanon and Iraq, and will be united on the streets if there are any attacks on Iran. We do not look on our Muslim comrades as victims, tokens, demons or others, but our brothers and sisters in the fight for peace and global justice.”

More on Students for Justice in Palestine later.

Joe Carolan and his then Socialist Worker comrades were the brains behind Resident’s Action Movement (RAM), a fledging political party which gained over 100,000 votes in the 2007 local body elections.

While the bulk of RAM’s Auckland candidates were Socialist Worker members, the organisation made a point of including a specially recruited Muslim candidate in its “front bench”.

RAM is modelled directly on the British Socialist Workers Party’s RESPECT, which is essentially an alliance of radical socialists and militant Muslims.

A key focus of both RESPECT and its Kiwi clone RAM has been to build bridges between the left and the Muslim community. This strategy includes attacking anyone questioning the radical Islamic agenda. After committing this unpardonable sin in the pages of Investigate, editor Ian Wishart was labelled an “Islamophobe” by the RAM radicals.

38 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

According to an April 2007 statement issued by RAM and Socialist Worker leader Grant Morgan: “The March 2007 edition of Investigate magazine carried a lengthy article by Ian Wishart which claimed that the New Zealand Muslim community is being infected by “Islamic extremism”.

“Mr Wishart’s 18-page rant is New Zealand’s first full-on example of Islamophobic gutter journalism.

“The most basic fact is that nobody in the New Zealand Muslim community has ever been charged with any act of ‘terrorism’, let alone convicted. That puts the lie to his propaganda of fear, suspicion and hate.”

“As the organiser of RAM, I was requested by a meeting of senior Muslim leaders in Auckland to pen a letter-in-reply to Mr Wishart’s article….My letter has been co-signed by over 130 community leaders, the vast majority of them non-Muslim, who are equally disgusted at the article’s contents.”

“While more signatures are arriving all the time, I have today emailed our letter to Mr Wishart’s magazine,.

“Will Mr Wishart have the integrity to publish it in full, along with the complete list of co-signatories, without appending the sort of conspiracy fantasies that he regularly attaches to critical letters under the guise of ‘editorial comment’? That will be a test of his professed belief in freedom of speech.”

Comrade Morgan’s list of “Community leaders” did include several leading Muslims; JAVED KHAN, president of Federated Islamic Associations of New Zealand (Auckland) AHMAD ESAU, teacher and founder of Aotearoa Islamic Impressions, an Islamic art group (Auckland) MUSTAFA FAROUK, vice-president of Federated Islamic Associations of New Zealand (Hamilton) ABDUL ELAH ARWANI, chair of South Pacific Mosque (Auckland) NASREEN HANNIF, national representative of Islamic Women’s Council of New Zealand (Auckland) ANJUM RAHMAN, Islamic Women’s Council of New Zealand (Hamilton) OMAR KHAMOUN, Wellington Palestine Group HAIDER LONE, executive member of NZ Muslim Association (Auckland) MOHAMED MOSES, secretary of Mt Roskill Islamic Trust (Auckland) ISMAIL WAJA, editor of Al Mujaddid Media (Auckland) MOHAMMAD THOMPSON, chair of Voice of Islam TV (Auckland) MOHAMED HASSAN, senior writer of e-newsletter NZDawa (Auckland) TAYYABA KHAN, peace activist and former president of Auckland Muslim Girls Association, winner of the Sonja Davies Peace Award in 2005 NUREDIN HASSAN, team manager of Muslim Students Association at Auckland University of Technology GUL ZAMAN, president of Auckland Indo-Fijian Association Also listed were Socialist Worker members or supporters; GRANT MORGAN, organiser of RAM Residents Action Movement (Auckland) Ex Communist Party, Socialist Worker leader ROBYN HUGHES, RAM councilor on Auckland Regional Council (Manukau City electorate) Partner of Grant Morgan ROGER FOWLER, QSM, manager of Mangere East Community

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recently formed pro-Israel advocacy group, Kiwi Friends of Israel, says an Auckland protest against the situation in Gaza was hijacked by extremists.

The protest’s leaders led chants of “Support the Intifada!” and “Allahu Akhbar!”, as well as some protesters brandishing signs with the Star of David alongside a Nazi Swastika. One protestor was also seen wearing a t-shirt with the slogan “9/11 was an inside job”. Another sign described the biblical claim that Jews were the “chosen people” as “bulls**t” “This sort of hate speech does nothing to promote peace between Israel and the Palestinians. It’s the sort of extremism that undermines rational debate,” says Kiwi Friends of Israel.

The word intifada means rebellion or uprising in English, and refers to the Second or al-Aqsa Intifada, referring to the wave of Palestinian terrorism since 2000.

Allahu Akhbar is an Arabic phrase meaning “God is Great” and has commonly been associated with Islamic extremism and terror. It features on the flag of the Islamic Republic of Iran and was chanted during the execution of American citizens Nick Berg and Daniel Perle.

“The organisers of the protest should front up and say whether or not they support this behaviour, and if they don’t they should apologise and condemn it,” says the group.

Learning Centre (Auckland) Ex Communist Party, Socialist Worker associate JOE CAROLAN, secretary of Solidarity Union (Auckland) Socialist Worker leader MAURICE WARD, professor at Faculty of Human & Environmental Studies, Kanto Gakuin University (Yokohama, Japan) Ex Communist Party of New Zealand, close to Socialist Worker BERNIE HORNFECK, president of Rotorua People’s Advocacy Centre Ex Communist Party, Socialist Worker member LEN PARKER, co-chair of RAM Residents Action Movement (Auckland) Ex Communist Party, Socialist Worker member KYLE WEBSTER, West Coast representative on board of directors of NZ Nurses Organisation (Greymouth) Socialist Worker member VAUGHAN GUNSON, artist and socialist (Whangarei) Socialist Worker member DAPHNE LAWLESS, editor of UNITY journal (Auckland) Socialist Worker member TAHAE TAIT, Te Arawa iwi & spokesperson for Tait whanau in

Rotorua Ex Communist Party, close to Socialist Worker PAT O’DEA, executive member of RAM Residents Action Movement (Auckland) Ex Communist Party, Socialist Worker member TOM BUCKLEY, organiser for Unite Workers Union (Auckland) Socialist Worker member GRAEME YOUNG, ex-organiser of National Distribution Union (Christchurch) Ex Communist Party, close to Socialist Worker HEATHER LYALL, social worker (Auckland) Socialist Worker member DON ARCHER, delegate for Engineering, Printing & Manufacturing Union (Christchurch) Ex Communist Party, Socialist Worker member GRANT BROOKES, delegate for NZ Nurses Organisation (Wellington) Socialist Worker member Other prominent leftists listed include; Dr. JOHN HINCHCLIFF, Auckland City councilor and former vice-chancellor & president of Auckland University of Technology. Former member of Socialist Unity Party front, NZ Council for World Peace INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009 39

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Expensive, mass-produced protest placards underline the level of organization and funding behind the “spontaneous” peace marches around the world. In this London protest, the communist hammer and sickle flag is clearly visible. PHOTO: Daniel Deme/WENN

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009 41

SUE BRADFORD, Green MP (Auckland) Former member of the

Workers Communist League, currently runs a Marxist training school for activists at Wellsford MATT McCARTEN, national secretary of Unite Workers Union (Auckland) Self proclaimed Marxist-Leninist sympathizer JOHN MINTO, spokesperson for Global Peace & Justice Auckland Self confessed Self proclaimed Marxist CAMPBELL DUIGNAN, southern regional secretary of Service & Food Workers Union/Nga Ringa Tota (Dunedin) Former Workers Communist League supporter JILL OVENS, northern regional secretary of Service & Food Workers Union/Nga Ringa Tota (Auckland) NZ/Cuba Friendship Society activist, former Alliance Party co-leader Reverend STUART VOGEL, Presbyterian minister and Council of Christians & Muslims (Auckland) Official, NZ/North Korea Society SYD KEEPA, convener of Council of Trade Unions Runanga Te Roopu Kaimahi Maori and apiha Maori for National Distribution Union (Auckland) Self described Socialist Party of Aotearoa sympathizer Reverend DON BORRIE, (Porirua) Leader NZ/North Korea Society LUKE COXON, organiser for National Distribution Union (Auckland) Maoist, ex Auckland University Radical Society GERARD BURNS, Catholic priest at St Anne’s parish, Newtown (Wellington) Wellington Palestine Group PAUL BRUCE, lead meteorologist at MetService NZ & cocoordinator of Latin American Solidarity Committee Aotearoa (Wellington) Longtime left activist, Green Party candidate, closely linked to Cuban ambassador SIMON OOSTERMAN, publicity officer for National Distribution Union (Auckland) Anarchist DEAN PARKER, NZ Writers Guild (Auckland) Former British International Socialists member, former NZ Socialist Unity Party member, close to Socialist Worker, Irish republican supporter MIKE TREEN, national director of Unite Workers Union (Auckland) Formerly with Socialist Action League, Communist League, Alliance Party JIM HOLDOM, social justice advocate (Hamilton) Has visited Palestine, Cuba and Nicaragua, on “left” of Labour Party, close to Socialist Party of Aotearoa PAUL MAUNDER, NZ Writers Guild (Blackball) Formerly close to the Workers Communist League, NZ/Cuba Society activist DON POLLY, retired journalist (Paekakariki) Formerly close to the Workers Communist League WARREN BREWER, secretary of Socialist Party of Aotearoa (Auckland) New Zealand’s “mainstream” communist party.

TIM HOWARD, community worker (Whangarei) Supports Philippines leftist activists. Trustee of Sue Bradford’s Marxist training school Another three of those listed were arrested six months later, during raids targeting Tame Iti’s “terrorist” training camps in the Urewera mountains.

EMILY BAILEY, environmental & community worker (Wellington) OMAR HAMED, organiser of Students for Justice in Palestine (Auckland) Founder of Radical Youth VALERIE MORSE, Peace Action Wellington Is there a pattern here?

While a tiny group, Socialist Worker’s ties to the international 42 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

Socialist tendency and other Marxist parties link the organisation to some of the most militant revolutionaries and terrorists on the planet.

Most if not all of Socialist Worker’s sister parties are heavily involved in building links to radical Islam.

In Australia, Socialist Worker’s closest ally is the Democratic Socialist Perspective (DSP). A Marxist-Leninist organisation, in which New Zealand Green Party co-leader Russel Norman was once active. DSP is playing a leading role in anti Israel demonstrations across the Tasman DSP is using its front group Socialist Alliance and its newspaper Green Left Weekly to propagandize among Arabic speaking Australians. According to the DSP’s online journal Links, an Arabic language insert The Flame included in Green Left Weekly, will set out to “establish a progressive Arabic-language press which can frankly discuss the squalid condition of the Arab world due to submission and subservience to neo-colonialism” Editor in chief Soubhi Iskander explains that “the Arabic-speaking communities in Australia need to read articles relating to the Australian government policy internally – articles which will unmask the pitfalls of these policies, and will expose the violation and the lies of the capitalist parties. The Flame, we hope, will be a powerful addition to Green Left Weekly.”

Revolution, not community service is the real goal of the Flame project.

“Iskander and his team are working to involve progressive activists from other Arabic-speaking communities in the Flame project.

They are promoting GLW subscriptions to interested members of the Arabic-speaking communities. GLW is proud to be taking this major step to broaden the audience for progressive ideas and news of the movements for radical political, economic and environmental change. We know we will not achieve radical change without bringing together all sections of the oppressed and exploited in a common struggle”.

Iskander has been co-editor of the Arabic newspaper Akbar Misr (Egypt News) since 1996 and serves on the management committee of the All-Sudanese Council. Before coming to Australia, Iskander was a veteran of the Sudanese Communist Party, joining in1956, two years after the party’s founding.

In 1996 Iskander helped establish the Sudanese Australia Human Rights Association, “to advocate for people who are persecuted in Sudan and make the Australian people aware of what is happening there… We tried to defend Sudanese people in Australia against any form of racism…We came to the conclusion that there is racism in Australia, even though people say that that is only in the past”.

Iskander’s deputy Hassan El Nour Abaid was also active in the Sudanese Communist Party, previously living in Cairo and in Libya where he helped form the Democratic Alliance-an opposition group of several Sudanese political factions, including the Communist Party.

Since 2002, Socialist Worker’s British SWP counterparts have been key participants in a series of annual gatherings – the “Cairo Conference against U.S. hegemony and war on Iraq and in solidarity with Palestine”, more usually known as the Cairo Antiwar Conference.

At the first meeting in December 2002 the Cairo Conference set up the International Campaign Against Aggression on Iraq (ICAAI), which went on to co-ordinate the February 15th 2003 global day of action against the Iraq war. This was at the time the

A house divided?

By Ian Wishart

D

espite the cunning manipulation of the public by socialist and neo-com groups, there are refreshing signs that at least some of those Lenin once described as “useful idiots” are waking up to the agenda of their puppeteers.

Oliver Woods, a RAM party candidate and executive member got stuck into Socialist Worker’s UNITYblog over an editorial calling for activists to “further sharpen an awareness of class divisions that’s growing everyday in the minds of masses of people”.

UNITYblog claimed RAM’s campaign to remove GST from food was the perfect stalking horse for increasing class divisions, and said the Left should embrace its revolutionary potential: “A struggle over GST off food will increase consciousness of the structural divisions within society, just as corporate welfare for billionaires is currently doing so on a global scale.

This opens up enormous political possibilities for a profound reforming of societies’ foundations.”

UNITYblog then added that if RAM drove a wedge into societal unity, it would be providing “the necessary leadership in this unavoidable global war between the haves and the have nots.”

The talk of an “unavoidable global war” by the Socialist Worker party’s main blog, and using RAM to set the ball rolling in New Zealand, caused Oliver Woods to sharply criticise his socialist colleagues: “I think that the logic that the UNITYblog editorial used is not only factually incorrect, but I actually think is actually morally wrong… I hate the idea of people celebrating social division,” Woods wrote on his blog, aucklandcentral.blogspot.com, just before Christmas.

“I see the opinions of some who believe in hardcore capitalism and hardline Marxism-Leninism as similar to racism. They want to pit one group (the rich in the case of capitalism and the workers in the case of orthodox Marxism) against others, and in the opinions of some, to create dictatorships based upon each ‘class’ ruling over everyone else.

“Going back to considering the editorial, which follows Marxist logic, I want my party, RAM, to be a party that doesn’t exploit “structural divisions” in society like New Zealand First, Labour and National have done in the past. The law of the jungle emerges in societies where people hate one another because of wealth and occupations differences. It’s why I so strongly oppose revolutionary Marxism and even the vaguest hint of any usage of violence by the left in gaining power. Such paths inevitably lead to becoming the thing that you hate and lack any moral value.

“Furthermore, I don’t want to “a profound reforming of societies’ foundations”. Why do we need such a thing? Certainly,

society needs change, Government needs change and the strength of the wealthy needs curtailing. But we don’t need to make any changes that actually change the foundations of society. Such logic was employed by the Khmer Rouge in Cambodia, by Mao in Communist China and by Enver Hoxha in Albania. These rulers viewed society as being malleable, able to be changed and molded to fit with abstract theories. You cannot change society by decree, nor can you change it by violence or mass struggle,” wrote Woods.

Another to sound a warning about playing the Muslim radical card is anarchist Asher Goldman, who wrote in SJP’s Intifada two years ago: “Since Israel’s latest brutal invasion of Lebanon, some leftist groups and individuals have seen fit to declare their support for Hezbollah. This support has manifested itself predominantly in writing on the Internet and on solidarity marches, protests and demonstrations. In this article, I hope to show that no leftist should support Hezbollah – a sexist, homophobic and antiworking class organisation.”

Goldman then went on to quote British anarchists who’d begun to see what Socialist Worker was fomenting over there: “The socialist left (and sadly, some anarchists), both in Aotearoa and globally, seem to formulate their support along one of two lines, described here by the UK Class War Federation in their statement delightfully titled “HezBollocks and IsRabies”: Firstly, wholesale adoption of the Islamist agenda, cheerleading Hamas or Hezbollah without qualification or criticism. This ‘Idiot anti-imperialism’, the trademark of today’s SWP [The UK equivalent of Aotearoa’s Socialist Worker], says my enemy’s enemy is my friend and any criticism of them, no matter how mild, is ‘racism, islamophobia, and Zionist pro American warmongering.’

The second approach is slightly more subtle – Hezbollah is fighting back, therefore we must support Hezbollah and the slogan ‘we are all Hezbollah’ is an act of basic solidarity with those who are fighting back against imperialism.

Goldman warned that Hezbollah was anti-women, anti-gay and Islamic fundamentalist, and said that just because they were opposing Israel didn’t mean they deserved left wing support in NZ. Hamas, of course, ticks many of the same boxes.

But as yesterday’s communists play students and ordinary members of the public for suckers in the latest PR and propaganda attacks against Israel, do any of their victims realise they’re pawns in a Marxist game? Probably not many. But at least some of them are starting to smell a rat.

“Goldman warned that Hezbollah was anti-women, anti-gay and Islamic fundamentalist, and said that just because they were opposing Israel didn’t mean they deserved left wing support in NZ”

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If you are asking did I support the Soviet Union, yes I did. Yes, I did support the Soviet Union, and I think the disappearance of the Soviet Union is the biggest catastrophe of my life

largest day of demonstrations in history involving an estimated 25 million people in 150 countries.

The President of ICAAI is Ahmed Ben Bella, former pro-Soviet president of Algeria. Vice-President is British SWP leader John Rees.

The UK Stop the War Coalition, led also by John Rees initiated the signing of the declaration by European leftist activists and politicians, including then Labour MP George Galloway, former Labour MP Tony Benn, writer Susan George, environmentalist George Monbiot, playwright Harold Pinter, Muslim Parliament of Great Britain leader Dr Siddiqui and prominent Trotskyists Tommy Sheridan and Tariq Ali. The second Cairo Conference was held in December, 2003, at the Egyptian Journalists’ Union headquarters. Among the 800 attendees were George Galloway, Tony Benn, British Muslim Salma Yaqoob (later a leader of the SWP’s RESPECT) and Ma’mun al-Hodeiby, leader of the outlawed Muslim Brotherhood and a large contingent of his followers.

At the 2004 conference British Trotskyists mingled with radicals from the 20th of March Movement for Change, Egyptian Communist Party, Muslim Brotherhood, Organization of Revolutionary Socialists and the Socialist People’s Party.

According to website Intelligence Resource Program: “Although officially banned by the Egyptian government since 1954, the Muslim Brothers captured 17 seats in the Egyptian Parliament running as independents; they also hold important offices in professional organizations in Egypt.

“Today, a very complex financial network connects the operations of over seventy branches of the Muslim Brothers worldwide.

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“During the Muslim Brothers’ seventy-plus years of existence, there have been cycles of growth, followed by divisions into factions, including clandestine financial networks, and violent jihad groups, such as al-Jihad and al-Gama’at al-Islamiyya in Egypt, HAMAS in Palestine and mujahideen groups in Afghanistan.”

The British Trotskyist Blog, Lenin’s Tomb, reported on the 2006 Cairo Conference attended by John Rees, George Galloway, assorted Muslim militants and members of the Muslim Brotherhood.

“The Cairo Conference: a wonderful vibrant and hectic event...

Four years ago both John Rees and George Galloway were invited to speak in conferences in Cairo at the same time. They managed to pull the two together (from London!) and the birth of the Cairo Conference – a meeting of activists from the secular and Muslim worlds – took place.

“The speakers list was A List, leaders of Islamic movements, trade unions, and political groups, MPs from Palestine, Lebanon, Syria and Egypt – oh and Britain. And international antiwar activists from UK, Denmark, Korea and Canada.

“After an all-too-large helping of Islamic radicalism, the interesting speakers for this blog were, unsurprisingly John Rees and George Galloway.

“John Rees issued a call for unity. “We are here because we are all here. The Muslims, the Nasserites, the socialists and the communists and other nationalists and those who fit into none of those categories. This unity allows this conference to happen.” He went down a storm.

“Galloway was in excellent form. Not pandering to some of the more 2 dimensional rhetoric of the local speakers. He welcomed he election of Hamas but pointed out “You can’t have a free Palestine without Hamas, but you can’t have a free Palestine with only Hamas”…

“Hamas’ Information Minister was uncompromising in his attitude to Israel, stating repeatedly they will not recognize the occupying forces of the state of Israel.”

I n July 2007, RAM/Socialist Worker invited George Galloway to New Zealand. Galloway was brought in to counter the dangerous Islamophobia then apparently sweeping the country. The tour was specifically timed to coincide with a “Mosques & Miracles” conference, designed to educate Christian audiences on the threat of radical Islam.

According to a RAM email published on Muslim website ShababNZ: “We do not want this sort of racist bigotry taking hold in New Zealand because the outcome then would be nasty inter-communal conflict. We have a duty to make a united stand for social inclusion, justice for all and full rights for every religious believer (and non-believer).

“That is why RAM…has taken a firm stand against these first stirrings of organised Islamophobia in New Zealand. With the blessing of an extremely broad spectrum of Muslim groups, along with many other faith and community leaders, RAM is organizing Voices of Peace meetings in Auckland as a positive alternative to the fear, suspicion and hatred being spread by organizers of the “Mosques & Miracles” conferences. Our Voices of Peace meetings will be held around the same time as the “Mosques & Miracles” conferences (end of July).

“George Galloway has accepted RAM’s invitation to speak at our Voices of Peace meetings. This is the British Respect MP who visited America several years ago to put US president George Bush “on trial” for war crimes in front of the US Congress. George

Galloway is one of the world’s most powerful speakers for social justice and against the US war in Iraq and its terrible consequences, like the global spread of Islamophobia. He will attract huge media interest here in New Zealand and probably overseas too.

“Voices of Peace is very important. You should come along, together with your family and friends. A big turnout of people will show New Zealand that we want social fairness in this country, not racist bigotry…”

George Galloway, who has since left the now crumbling RESPECT, supported not just radical Islam.

Galloway once told the Guardian, “I am on the anti-imperialist left... If you are asking did I support the Soviet Union, yes I did. Yes, I did support the Soviet Union, and I think the disappearance of the Soviet Union is the biggest catastrophe of my life.”

Galloway was a vigorous campaigner against sanctions on Iraq and personally visited Iraqi dictator Saddam in 1994 and 2002. He was expelled from the Labour Party in October 2003, after the party took serious offence at statements made by Galloway opposing the 2003 invasion of Iraq.

In January 2004, Galloway joined the SWP and anti-Iraq war activists such as Salma Yaqoob to found the RESPECT coalition.

Gallagher won his seat for RESPECT in the 2005 general election-the organization’s only ever Parliamentary seat.

During a 9 March 2005, interview at the University of Dhaka in Bangladesh, Galloway called for a global Marxist/Muslim alliance against against common enemies; “Not only do I think it’s possible but I think it is vitally necessary and I think it is happening already. It is possible because the progressive movement around the world and the Muslims have the same enemies. Their enemies are the Zionist occupation, American occupation, British occupation of poor countries mainly Muslim countries.”

Galloway’s New Zealand tour was well publicized by a fawning media. His dubious background was never questioned, let alone exposed, by either of the main TV news networks.

Probably the most concerning of all New Zealand’s Marxist/Muslim organizations is Students for Justice in Palestine (SJP). Named after similar organizations overseas, SJP has operated off and on at Victoria, Waikato and Auckland universities since the late 1990s.

The Auckland SJP branch is by far the strongest and most active since it was re-founded in 2000. Originally a mixed organization, Auckland SJP has become more Muslim dominated as the young New Zealand born radicals have been scared off by mainly foreign born militants of Palestinian, Afghan, Indian and Pakistani extraction. SJP is regarded as the most extreme groups on campus.

Key SJP figures include; Sahar Ghumkhor, SJP president, an Afghan refugee and Auckland University politics tutor, Ghumkor has ties to Auckland’s anarchist community.

Omar Hamed, an anarchist and 2008 Auckland University Students Association International Affairs officer. Hamed was behind the stunt $5,000 bounty offered by AUSA for the arrest of US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice for “war crimes” during her 2008 visit to New Zealand. Half Palestinian, born in Greece

Of Sikh rather than Muslim origin Sooden was working with the radical and misleadingly named Christian Peacemaker Teams in Iraq when he was abducted in November 2005

and raised in Auckland, Omar Hamed is the radical’s radical. In 2006, barely out of high school he traveled to New Caledonia to meet with militant Kanak trade unionists. Hamed was the founder of Auckland Radical Youth and helped lead the youth rates campaigns of 2006.

Hamed was arrested during the police anti terror raids of October 2007 and still awaits trial on firearms charges.

Another senior member of Auckland SJP was reportedly about to start training at Tame Iti’s Urewera training camps, but was beaten by the police crackdown.

Harmeet Singh Sooden achieved international fame when he and three other activists were kidnapped and held hostage in Iraq.

Of Sikh rather than Muslim origin Sooden was working with the radical and misleadingly named Christian Peacemaker Teams in Iraq when he was abducted in November 2005.

Sooden was held captive and threatened with execution until being freed by multinational forces in an operation on March 2006. One of Sooden’s three comrades was murdered by their captors. Sooden later tried to enter Israel to work with Palestinians, but was arrested by the Israelis and deported as a “security risk”..

Auckland SJP also has a good friend in Parliament. Green MP Keith Locke, the man who publicly supported the brutal Soviet invasion of Afghanistan, seems to want to make it up to Muslims by aiding the Palestinian cause.

According to a 2006 post on the anarchist website Indymedia, “Yesterday around 500 people took to the streets of Auckland to oppose Israel’s brutal attacks on the people of Gaza and Lebanon, which have already killed more than 300 innocent civilians. The day started with a rally in Aotea Square. Members of Students for Justice in Palestine (SJP), the Palestine Human Rights Campaign (PHRC), Green MP Keith Locke and several others spoke condemning Israel’s terrorist actions against innocents, Keith Locke marching with the SJP banner..”

In September 2006 Auckland University SJP published a magazine (with students association help) entitled Intifada.

Keith Locke contributed an article to the magazine in his capacity as Green Party Foreign Affairs spokesman.

“Sometimes, when I support Palestinian rights, I am accused of not being “even-handed” in the Israel/Palestine dispute.

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“But what does “even-handed” mean when the situation on the ground is hardly “even”. There is only one occupying power (Israeli) and only one occupied people (the Palestinians).”

Other contributors included Omar Hamed and Asher Goldman, a Wellington anarchist, anti-Zionist Jew close to Hamed and another “Urewera 17” arrestee, Swiss national Urs Signer.

Another contributor was a young Auckland female activist named Rana Ghumkhor, whose article glamourised suicide bombing for a young, passionate NZ student audience: When death becomes a sacrifice The following is a short story written by Rana Ghumkhor. It examines the motivations of a suicide bomber.

The Dead cannot ask for justice it is the duty of the living to do so.

For my father and for my people the hunger of my hatred opens its mouth. Calling to me to avenge those who have fallen. Years ago my father gave his life for me. Tonight I die for Palestine.

I could start by telling you my name, but what would be the point?

I’m just a face, in a sea of oppression, inflicted upon my people. For generations we suffered at the hands of the Zionists. Oh my insane rage, vengeance will be ours, the clouds will clear and the sun will shine on us again. They think by uprooting our trees they can destroy our history? But our history is in our hearts and we will tell it to our children and they will tell it to their children. They cannot cut off our tongues...

Religion is what keeps us alive. It is what keeps us going, because in the mind of a freedom fighter fear of god is greater than the fear of death. The desire for paradise dominates our thoughts, reminding us that this wasn’t the way life was supposed to be...

Suddenly my train of thought comes to an abrupt halt as the bus comes to a stop I glance up to see cars lining up in front of the bus. I shrug it off as traffic. I know time is running out. I look outside the window and can barely make out my city of Jenin in the distance. I know this will be the last time I will see my home ever again. There is no turning back now, it is at the end of a person’s life when they realize how important the choices in her life are. Maybe my death won’t make a difference; maybe my people will continue to live in terror tomorrow.

But maybe for just a moment, my enemies can feel what we feel when we lose a brother or a sister, a father or a mother, a daughter or a son.

If they can feel what we feel for just a moment for just a fraction of a second, my death would have been worth something...

“We will be reaching Jerusalem in a few minutes “ I sit up straighter in my seat. It is now the time, I can wait no longer. I feel around in my pocket for the trigger that leads to the c4-tapped securely to my chest.

I swallow the bile that had risen in my throat. I am afraid yes, I am afraid the bomb won’t go off. There is no greater shame then failure and I have no desire to fail. I close my eyes imagining what it will be like. Will it hurt? Will I meet my maker upon my death? Or will I wait till the day of reckoning where we all shall be judged...

I clutch the trigger in my hand. I take the time to acknowledge each person in the bus. I feel the walls in my heart closing up for I feel no pity where we received none. I look out the window for the last time.

The bus is coming over a hill. There lies Jerusalem in all its glory. I close my eyes and take my last breath…. Freedom If one thing has been learned from the police study of Islamic terrorists, it is that often the attackers advertised their intentions beforehand. Should the police be probing Auckland SJP and other members of the local Marxist/Muslim alliance?

Should Green Party MP Keith Locke be asked to account for his support of an organization that glorifies suicide bombings?

Or should we just let the Red Jihad roll on unhindered? n INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009 47

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48 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

B

ritain under the present government can be an exciting, adventurous place. A British child enchanted by The Lord of The Rings can not only recreate Frodo’s journey to Mordor in imagination, but actually live something like it every day: Columnist Peter Hitchens recently pointed out that police have admitted, under Freedom of Information laws, that they were called to violent incidents at least 7,000 times in English schools last year. Since not all police forces replied the real figure is probably much higher.

The Japanese warrior’s scorn for danger is legendary. But it seems Britain is now a little too exciting for them. The Weekly Telegraph of 31 December, 2008, quoted Tomoisa Asano, a spokesman for the Japanese technology company Macnica, which moved its European headquarters from London to Munich, as saying one reason for the move was “concerns about increasing crime” and the dangers of travel

by Tube. Yoshizumi Naitoh, of the Japanese pharmaceutical company Maruho, which also moved from Britain to Germany, said: “We wanted better security and were attracted by lower crime rates in Germany.”

It was found recently that police were failing to fully investigate almost four in every ten crimes, including sex attacks, violent robberies and drug crimes – nearly 2 million of the five million serious crimes reported per year.

If you’re an old person, you can easily replicate the adventures of great Polar explorers like Scott of the Antarctic, such as dying of cold alone and without help.

According to official statistics, no fewer that 25,000 old people had this particular adventure last winter, a much high proportion than in some much colder countries like Finland or Denmark.

It can be a place for building self-reliance for young and old (though not to the extent of resisting criminal attacks: there are countless stories of people being sued, prosecuted and sometimes imprisoned for trying to fight off robbers and others attackers – some experts have said there is no longer a right to self-defence). In another tribute to what Britain has become under the present administration, Brigadier John Platt was presented with a bracing challenge, though in a different way to the occasion when in 1944 he had won the DSO and had been twice wounded leading an attack against German positions in Italy: aged 101

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009 49

and dying, he was sent home from Sailsbury District Hospital in a taxi wearing only a nappy and a set of ill-fitting pyjamas. He had spent five days on a mixed-sex ward during which his hearing aid was stepped on and crushed, his false teeth went missing and his soiled pyjamas were piled up in a locker by his bed for the duration. He was unable to feed himself and was discharged clutching a bag of his dirty clothes. His daughter said: “I just can’t believe that any hospital would keep excrement-covered clothing in a locker for five days. I got the impression this lack of attention must be endemic because it was so lightly treated.”

L

ord Mancroft, a Tory member of the House of Lords, said after an exciting spell in hospital that: “It is a miracle that I am still alive. The wards were filthy. Underneath the bed next to me was a piece of dirty cotton wool, and there it remained for seven days. The ward was never cleaned. The tables, the beds and the bathrooms were not cleaned … I was extremely infectious at that time and no precautions were taken with me at all. The staff were furious when my wife wanted my bed cleaned when it clearly needed cleaning … The nurses who looked after me – not all of them – were mostly grubby, with dirty fingernails and hair. They were slipshod, lazy, drunken and promiscuous. How do I know? If you are a patient in a bed and being nursed from either side, the nurses talk across you as if you are not there.”

Still, you don’t need to be a decorated brigadier or a member of the peerage to find a British NHS hospital full of challenges, such as staying alive. It’s all very democratic. Statistics released at the beginning of 2009 showed officially-recognised deaths from hospital blunders had increased by 60% in the previous two years, from 2,275 to 3,645. There were reasons for believing the real total was higher.

Ten-year-old Jordon Lyon also found himself in a challenging position when trying to rescue his 8-year-old step-sister in a flooded quarry. He drowned while two of the new Community Police Support Officers stood contemplating the scene (one eventually thought of going for help). But then, as writer Frederick Forsyth put it with perhaps a touch of sarcasm when commenting on the official explanation later: “They had not been trained to wade.”

It’s also been an exciting place for an entrepreneur. If you don’t weaken, that is, and keep an eye on the tide: In 2004, about 20 Chinese illegal immigrants were drowned picking cockles (small edible shellfish) when caught by the tide on the mudflats at Morecambe Bay. It seemed an entire illegal industry, not only picking the cockles but also processing them and distributing them for sale, had been set up with none of the relevant regulatory authorities – immigration, police, local council, fisheries, conservation, shops and factories, coast-guard etc. – noticing or caring.

However, along with all this adventure goes a certain sense of caution: At Seagry in Wiltshire, children were banned from playing on a veteran steamroller which had stood in the school’s playground without accident since 1964. It was deemed “not proper playground equipment” and “failed to meet any required standards whatsoever.”

A quasi-official body called “Sports England” proposed eliminating games like sack races, three-legged races and egg-and-spoon races from kindergartens and nursery schools in order to prevent children learning a competitive ethos, proposing problem-solving exercises instead. The government also supports banning games of musical chairs at nursery schools because they might lead to aggression.

At Great Somerford, Wiltshire, playground swings were ordered 50 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

demolished for being too tall. A charity kite-flying contest for children was banned by a Lancashire council on the grounds that they did not have health and safety insurance.

At Torbay, palm trees were condemned by the council because “they have very sharp leaves.” Liberal Democrat councillor Colin Charlwood is reported to have said, as if from The Day of the Triffids: “what if one of those leaves caught a child in the eye for example. It’s a little bit like keeping tigers – they are beautiful to look at, but you wouldn’t want them wandering the streets.” These are trees they are talking about.

Children at one primary school were prohibited from mak-

ing daisy-chains in case they picked up germs from the flowers.

Another school stopped children making hanging flower-baskets for the same reason. Playground pursuits like handstands, tag, yoyos, tree-climbing and skipping have also been banned in various places. Children at Cummersdale Primary School, Carlisle, were allowed to play conkers (an immemorially old English game involving breaking chestnuts) as long as they wore safety-goggles.

Children’s ball games and bicycle-riding (!) were also banned by some authorities. At Fairway Middle School in Norwich it was announced that children who wished to throw snowballs at other children would have to obtain their targets’ permission first (What

“Aged 101 and dying, John Platt was sent home from Sailsbury District Hospital in a taxi wearing only a nappy and a set of ill-fitting pyjamas. He had spent five days on a mixed-sex ward during which his hearing aid was stepped on and crushed, his false teeth went missing and his soiled pyjamas were piled up in a locker by his bed for the duration” INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009 51

“Playground pursuits like handstands, tag, yo-yos, tree-climbing and skipping have also been banned in various places... Children’s ball games and bicycle-riding (!) were also banned by some authorities” 52 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

would Calvin and Hobbes say?). Tim Gill, a director of the Children’s Play Council, said: “There is no one person or body to blame. What is at fault is our culture of caution.” (Huh? There is a Children’s Play Council?).

Law and order were upheld in the face of dangerous criminality when an 82-yearold sufferer from Parkinson’s disease, Jeane Raine, of Burton-on-Kendal, was fined 35 pounds because she went to sleep when feeling unwell in a car legally parked in a disabled parking area but with the disabled parking badge upside down! There was no liberalistic nonsense about waking her and explaining before ticketing the car.

Sarah Davies, of Hull, living on benefits of 94 pounds a week, was fined 75 pounds for having dropped a piece of her 4-year-old daughter’s sauage-roll while feeding it to her. Pigeons ate the morsel within seconds, but not before the offence was spotted by officers of the local authority’s “environmental crime unit.” In the same week, 26-year-old bus driver Gareth Corkhill was ordered to pay £210 – a week’s wages – after magistrates heard that the amount of rubbish in his wheelie bin had pushed up the lid by a few inches. A 60-year-old headmaster’s job was put at risk when he acquired a criminal record for having an out-ofdate fishing-rod licence. In the course of running an errand for his disabled wife, Mr Keith Hirst, 54 years old and suffering from a heart condition, was alleged to have dropped an apple-core. Despite strenuously denying the allegation, this desperado was taken into custody by up to five uniformed officers, had his DNA and fingerprints taken, and was locked up for 18 hours. After being charged with littering and obstructing a police officer, the following morning he was handcuffed to a security guard to appear before local magistrates. His wife, disabled by a back problem, said: “The first I knew about it was when Keith called at 10.45pm.”

The same day police were reported investigating the case of a 63-year-old retired postmistress who was reported to have struck a teenager, one of a gang kicking a ball and damaging the village green floral displays, with a rolled-up piece of paper. She said: “They were damaging the flowers. I told them to go to the nearby playing fields and asked them when they were going to grow up.

“They were really loud-mouthed and rude to me and I was close enough to get in with a few pieces of paper I was carrying. I have done nothing wrong. It would not have hurt the boy. It was only rolled up paper and I am a little old lady.

“They were damaging my property because I have loaned the

hanging baskets. We don’t get any funding for flowers, only donations to help and it costs a fortune.” The boy’s mother complained to police. A police spokesman said: “We have spoken to the suspect (sic) and she is due to have a formal interview in the next couple of weeks.”

Frances Lawrence, whose husband Philip was stabbed to death outside the London school where he was headmaster, was rung up by a probation officer and asked to apologise to his killer. Mrs Lawrence, said the officer, had criticised the youth, but an apology would make him feel “much happier.”

An 84-year-old man fined 75 pounds for putting some kitchen garbage in a public litter bin when his own garbage would not be collected for ten days, domestic collection having been reduced to once a fortnight. Council snoopers carefully went through the bin and traced the garbage back to him through an address on an envelope. He was warned that if he did not pay in 14 days the penalty would double and he could face a fine of up to $5,000 if he took the case to court.

Then there was the case of Mr Frank Gibson.

As Daily Telegraph columnist Simon Heffer reported it, at Christmas 2006, Frank Gibson was driving from Midnight Mass to his home in Gravesend in Kent. He claimed he took his car, within the speed limit, into the middle of the road to avoid parked cars. A police car behind flashed its lights. Mr Gibson believed he was doing nothing wrong, and at first assumed that the officers were not trying to stop him. However, they were.

After realizing this, he stopped as soon as he safely could and turned off his engine. He said later that he tried to wind down his window but, it being electric and his engine being off, it would not open. There was a disabled badge on his windscreen. An officer opened his door, removed his car keys and hauled him out. Mr Gibson was 81 and, having just had an operation on his ankle, he walked with a stick. Mr Gibson was the governor of two schools, a trustee of two charities, had a fine war record, worked as a district officer and magistrate in Africa, had been a borough and county councillor for many years and Mayor of Gravesham, had received the OBE for service to his community and was the father of a family (His son Richard Gibson, incidentally, is a well-known actor who played the Gestapo officer Herr Flick in the comedy series ‘Allo ‘Allo). In 1960 he was awarded a special medal by the Colonial Special Constabulary “For faithful Service.” As his barrister told a court, he was a man of “previous exceptional character.”

Heffer commented with words not untouched by the sardonic: “None of this would have been known to Pc Steven Cole and Pc Thomas McGregor of the Kent Constabulary when he was dragged out of his car. Mr Gibson, who was convinced he had been doing nothing wrong, who was bemused at being treated in this fashion and no doubt rather alarmed, is then alleged to have assaulted these two brave officers. This arthritic old man allegedly twisted Pc Cole’s thumb so hard that it made him ‘yelp.’ Possibly even worse, Pc McGregor was shoved in the chest. Who can blame them, subjected as they were to such a vicious attack, for bundling Mr Gibson into their car, handcuffing him and locking him in a cell for five hours? The public – and police officers – manifestly have to be protected from savages such as Mr Gibson.” Protesting that he had done nothing wrong, and after two hearings spread out over many months, Mr Gibson was fined £910 and given a six-month conditional discharge.

Heffer said: “I know there will be many decent officers as outraged, shocked and appalled as I am by Pc Cole’s and Pc McGregor’s

treatment of Mr Gibson. Is this how they train them in Kent? Do they bother to tell them that elderly people are often slow, easily confused, easily frightened, above all vulnerable?”

In the Daily Mail of 7 February, 2008, columnist Richard Littlejohn remarked on the case of Miss Kate Badger, who faced a maximum penalty of £20,000 and six months in prison for having allegedly (she was denying the charge) thrown an apple-core out a car window. The indictment stated that she was accused of “knowingly causing the deposit of controlled waste, namely an apple core, on land which did not have a waste management licence” and of “failing to provide information” as to who did throw said apple core, contrary to Section 33 of the Environmental Protection Act 1990.”

Sensitive feelings are also safeguarded (though not if you’re a tough, self-reliant type like Brigadier Platt of course). A garden gnome wearing a policeman’s helmet was banned because neighbors were offended or possibly intimidated, as was a lady’s display of china pigs in a window, lest any passing Muslims were offended (none had actually complained). Pirate flags hoisted at children’s parties have also been banned in case they make neighbours fearful.

M

any schools have barred teachers from marking papers in red ink in case it upsets children. Red ink is considered confrontational and threatening.

At Crofton Junior School, in Orpington, Kent, Headmaster Richard Sammonds said: “Red pen can be quite demotivating for children. It has negative, old-school connotations of ‘See me’ and ‘Not good enough.’ He added, probably quite correctly, that: “We are no longer producing clerks and bookkeepers.”

Busking piper Shaun Cartwright was handcuffed and taken to the police station in Bridport, Dorset, for playing the bagpipes.

He was accused of causing “distress” to shoppers, which surprised him because he had made £50 in an hour of playing. Mr Cartwright was later released and told it was not in the public interest to press charges. His pipes, which had been seized, were returned to him. Distress was also avoided when injured war veterans were prohibited from undergoing rehabilitation therapy in a public swimming-bath lest others be offended by the sight of their mutilations.

As the 200th anniversary of Trafalgar approached, an actor playing Lord Nelson, Britain’s greatest Naval hero, who scorned danger in storms and battle, was forced to wear a lifejacket over his glittering uniform while transferring from one boat to another in the calm waters of the Thames at Tower Bridge.

In the city of Scarborough old sailors from the 8th Destroyer Association were denied permission to march through the town, a march that they had made annually for many years. Police told them that, in accord with new health and safety regulations, they would need to take out public liability insurance for $2 million, employ two lines of marshals in fluorescent jackets, presumably to prevent them from running amok, and have an ambulance in attendance.

“We are concerned with the safety of everyone involved in the parade, including those taking part, spectators and our own officers,” a police spokesman said. Previously, the police had provided motorcycle escorts for the parade. The chairman of the association, Peter Lee-Hale, asked: “What trouble do they think 80-year-old ex-sailors are going to cause?”

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009 53

Doncaster College, South Yorkshire, sacked Richard Browning, a 40-year-old lecturer, for allowing a 16-year-old girl to bring a plastic toy rifle to the college for use in a photography project. In another case, an 11-year-old was held for three hours in a police cell for waving a toy gun at school.

It was proposed to prohibit farmers from owning shot-guns, even if they needed them for shooting vermin or destroying sick and injured animals. A 77-year-old farmer who fired a shotgun to frighten off a dog worrying sheep was arrested and handcuffed by six carloads of police in front of his grand-children. He was then locked in a cell for five hours, finger-printed and photographed and forced to give a DNA sample. He claims that at one point police pointed a gun at his son, who photographed him being arm-locked (the photograph was printed in the British press).

He had previously reported two burglaries with no action being taken. (In Switzerland, with universal military service for males, most men until recently have had high-powered military automatic weapons at home with very little violent or firearm-related crime).

In Kipling’s Stalky and Co., set in the late 19th Century, it was taken for granted that boys at an English boarding-school could buy pistols and use them hunting the local small game. George Orwell pointed out that before 1914 anyone could buy a revolver and ammunition at a bicycle-shop with no questions asked. In the autobiographical essay “Such, Such were the joys” he also mentioned buying a rifle with his pocket-money in 1916, when he was a 13-year-old schoolboy, and when one would have thought rifles and ammunition would have been required elsewhere.

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ince Labour came to power in 1997, more than 1,000 new criminal offences which may result in jail terms have been created, such as clergymen using church halls for unlicenced concerts. Children can go to prison for six months for possessing fireworks in public except on four nights a year (and the only fireworks available then are of the most innocuous kind).

The government told local authorities that householders should be fined for putting out a single bag of rubbish at the wrong time.

An “enforcement manual” handed to local councils suggested a “zero tolerance” policy on waste collection. It advised that on-thespot penalties of around £100 should be handed out for having left rubbish out early. In the 12 months to March, 2007, nearly 44,000 people received £100 fines for crimes such as putting rubbish out on the wrong day or putting out black bags next to their wheelie bins. Jobsworths were warned in the guidance how to spot and deal with residents at receiving a fine. The document told enforcers to be alert for dangerous signs of resentment or rebellion including “changes in breathing patterns, the throbbing vein in the temple, the opening and closing of their fist, increased tension in the face or body.” The document advised: “Let them know that this behaviour is not acceptable, e.g. ‘I am not prepared to carry on this interview whilst you are calling me a w****er and a jobsworth. Are you prepared to stop doing this? I am requesting that you stop this behaviour’.” After a confrontation, staff were told, it was “important to offload what has happened ... You can do this by screaming and shouting (in a safe place).”

At Christmas 2008 firemen in East Sussex on duty over the holidays were ordered to take down Christmas decorations at fire-stations, because they were a fire hazard. The Government’s Children’s Department produced 150,000 leaflets for distribution at shopping centres and nurseries to “help make Christmas safe.” These 54 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

alerted people to the perils of, among other things, tinsel, and warned that many people are “hurt by trimmings or when decorating their homes.” At Walton on the Naze in Essex, the Walton Forum was told it could only put up a 26-foot Christmas Tree if it installed a 20-ton concrete foundation, costing four times as much as the tree had.

Writing in the Telegraph, Philip Johnson asked: “What went through the mind of the local council bureaucrat who decided that Kevin Simpson, a school patrol man in Hampshire, must remove the tinsel from his lollipop? ‘It is just a fun, goodwill gesture and on these miserable winter mornings it does light up the children’s faces,’ said Mr Simpson. How is tinsel on a lollipop hazardous? Who makes these decisions, and why?” Johnson went on to point out that pantomime performers have been told not to throw sweets to the audience unless they are soft (the sweets, that is, not the audience), and a Christmas Day charity swim was cancelled because of the cost of public liability insurance, police and a lifeboat. All over Britain in 2008 Christmas decorations in town centres disappeared because of health and safety directives.

In Llandovery in Wales, town councilors were prohibited from climbing ladders as they had traditionally done to put Christmas trees on ledges over shop-fronts. In York a 22-year-old woman was not allowed to buy crackers to pull at Christmas dinner without proof of age. A church performance of Handel’s Messiah was banned after weeks of rehearsal because a member of the audience could be injured in the dark if there was a power-cut.

In a nicely Cromwellian touch, a pub chain in central London was fined £5,000.00 plus £1,600.00 costs after patrons were caught dancing in two of its pubs which did not have an entertainment licence. In one pub four, and then five, miscreants had been seen by brave undercover inspectors flagrantly dancing to background music, with, worse, no less than 11 at the other Saturnalia.

Westminster Council was, however, more lenient to another pub where people were merely “swaying,” contenting itself with a written warning. The council’s Community Protection Department director Bob Currie warned that: “Dancing could be described as the rhythmic moving of the legs, arms and body usually changing positions within the floor space available and whether or not accompanied by musical support.”

The incidents I have cited here are only a few from a mountain more. One or two occurring in isolation might be taken as aberrations, but when they are viewed as a whole a definite picture emerges.

In 1922 Nicholai Bukharin claimed one of the Bolshevik Revolution’s principal tasks was “to alter people’s actual psychology,” and in 1928, in a special edition of Izvestia on the subject, said: “One of the first priorities is the question of the systematic preparation of new men.”

One of the most gripping and memorable adventure stories I read when growing up was H. G. Wells’s The Time Machine, published in 1904. In that tale a traveler to the future year 802,701 finds humanity has become two species. There are the soft, weak, stupid and helpless Eloi without initiative or volition – the girl Weena, like Jordan Lyon’s step-sister, almost drowns while Eloi males look on. There is also the brutal cannibal underclass of Morlocks.

The great objective of those commanding power in modern Britain appears to be to create a new sort of being, a Homo Britannicus, that combines the qualities of helpless Eloi and brutal Morlock in one, in a great Time Machine theme park. Look out for things to get even more exciting. n

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Grab a copy today from Whitcoulls, or online at www.evesbite.com INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009 55

PERSPECTIVES

Actions vs Words

Part Two: Utilitarianism as a Common Purpose Agnostic writer SIMON GEMMILL continues to explore his thesis that actions are more important than beliefs, while self-proclaimed atheist and Times of London columnist MATTHEW PARRIS argues the opposite, ironically, that belief in God has a positive effect that humanism can’t match. In the midst of this, we’ve included two profiles of people whose actions, and beliefs, came to be in sync. Gemmill begins: 56 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

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veryone gets to decide both what they believe and what they do. In my last article on the topic, I suggested that being a good person depended more on what we do than what we believe; for the same reason that what we do matters more than what we say: if I say I care about the world, but do nothing to help it, that makes me a liar. If I said I didn’t care about the world, but did a lot to help it, what I said would pale in comparison to what I am doing; therefore I deserve to be judged by what I do, not what I say.

Let us move along a tangent with this line of reasoning now, because one of the reasons the world is in a mess is that we keep on fighting over what we believe in. At the Public Enemy concert at the Rhythm and Vines music festival in Gisborne, Flavor Flav encouraged everyone to promote peace and unity, which together can make us very powerful, to do good in the world; and he condemned racism and separatism. (For those who do not know, there are many rappers out there with a positive message like that; A Tribe Called Quest, Jurassic 5, De La Soul, etc, but you don’t get to hear them on the radio; gangster rap sells so much better.)

Last time we looked at Jesus’ message about The Sheep and the Goats, and what a powerful call to action that was for people to go out of their way to help others. The problem with quoting religious leaders however is that it comes across as preachy, alienates the unreligious and those of other religions, and of course, sparks needless debate about the proper meaning and context of the quoted text.

Putting what we believe – which often divides us – aside, and looking at a common sense of purpose, where does that leave us?

Utilitarianism is an ethical model which does not directly relate to any one religion, and in fact, makes no reference to religion at all. Thus, if we use this as a framework in which to discuss how we should live our lives, we can all join in the discussion, and find more to agree upon.

First off, utilitarianism is based on the principle of hedonism; essentially, pleasure is good - pain is bad. Utilitarianism is all about maximising pleasure and minimising suffering, for the greatest number of people possible. (It can also apply to helping animals and looking after our ecosystem…)

Before we continue, let us be sure we are clear on the meaning of hedonism, because it is a term often used to lambast people for their apparent lack of ethics. Some may claim that hedonism is bad, and that the pursuit of one’s own happiness is selfish. But then: that’s the root problem, selfishness. Utilitarianism is not selfish; it considers all those around us. Seeking one’s own pleasure – and that of others, and seeking to avoid pain – and pain for others, is utilitarian, and is ethical.

So what of inclusive hedonism, the pursuit of maximum happiness for the maximum amount of people, and the avoidance of as much suffering as possible? Is this really a unifying principle that unites people of all religions, and also the unreligious?

There are many organisations which seek to alleviate the suffering in the world. There are charities, city missions, soup kitchens, foster homes, animal shelters and more. They are all working together to aid those who need it, to help those who cannot help themselves, and in some cases, teaching people how to look after themselves, so they can gain independence.

Such organisations are run by people from a wealth of backgrounds; people from a variety of religions, unreligious people, rich people, poor people, etc.

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Clearly all these people have a unified sense of purpose, even though they do not all share the same belief system.

What motivates these people? Utilitarianism; acting for the greater good. Certainly, there are many who are inspired by the teachings of a religion, but even then, there’s the common thread: most religions, including Humanism, which was once referred to as a religion, share the belief that there is a moral imperative on us all to help the poor, the needy, and the downtrodden. Furthermore, there are philosophies such as utilitarianism which are secular, and which motivate many of us, whether we are religious or not. What is the motivation, if not an eternal reward? It is the greater good (remember, the greater good includes ourselves).

While we disagree on so much in this world, and indeed, sadly, fight over so much, from who owns which bit of land, to whose ancestors swindled who, to who follows the right doctrines; we also agree on a lot. There are things we agree we should avoid doing, because it only brings suffering to others, and other things we know we must do, because others need us to, and because we can.

The advantage of shifting the focus of dialogue, from what we believe to what we do, is that we can then find more common ground; a starting point for working together to improve the world.

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e all know that it’s wrong to torture animals or farm them in little cages where they cannot move. We know that it’s wrong to detain people indefinitely without trial and to bomb and shoot at innocent civilians. We know it’s wrong that millions are starving, malnourished and not receiving adequate medical care, even though there is enough wealth in the world to go round, and enough knowledge to solve most of their problems.

We know it’s wrong that while some are giving and doing all they can to help others, the majority of those who can do something – especially those with the most power and ability – do nothing.

The danger of selfish hedonism – and of religious or secular teachings that say it’s okay to just look out for yourself, and that you do not owe it to anyone else to help them - is that we do just sit back, enjoy our safety and comfort, and watch idly by as the world falls apart around us.

Just as many preachers cater to people’s desires and teach that they don’t really have to do anything, that their beliefs alone (which are easy to come by, anyone can believe something, it doesn’t make you a hero) make them righteous; and similarly many unbelievers think that because they don’t believe in God or a judgment day, that they don’t have to do anything for others - I will spin you a line, to hook you in, to get you interested; to convince you that, even if you do just want to live for yourself and enjoy your creature comforts, you have to do something to ensure that comfort remains secure.

The environment is a good case in point. It is a controversial issue and a political football (someone should really make one of those: a football with politicians’ faces on it…). Some warn us that global warming and pollution are already taking us down a dangerous path, while others argue that we can get away with quite a lot more polluting and destruction before things get really serious. If we want to err on the side of caution, as my driving instructor told me (and as Pascal urged us to do when it comes to beliefs), we would act as much as, and as soon as possible, to ensure that we do not destroy our habitat. Yet many, in the true spirit of human selfishness, assure us that there’s no rush, no need to do anything drastic just yet.

But what if caring for the environment meant caring for ourselves?

There’s a Buddhist saying that everything you do comes back on you; both Buddhists and Hindus call this the Law of Karma. Jews and 58 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

Christians are familiar with the saying: what you sow, so you shall reap. If we destroy the Earth, we will rob our species of a place to live. Thus ending the human race forever, long before the Sun finally dies of its own accord. But let’s be a bit less drastic here: we are seriously unlikely to destroy the Earth: we’d just make it so we would go extinct. The planet, along with many of its species, would outlive us for years to come. We may even just make it so that only a small proportion of the human race can survive, maybe in the highlands somewhere; maybe in climates that remain friendly to us.

Just as many of us are stupid, selfish and short-sighted enough to think it is excusable to act so recklessly with the planet (some are even so arrogant and smug as to think it’s all okay, because God will sort it out, forgetting that in the Bible, God gives us dominion over the Earth, which sort of makes us responsible for whatever happens to it), we also let diseases exist in the third world, and immunise ourselves against them, when we could actually immunise the whole world against them, and then the diseases would be wiped off the face of the planet for good; so helping the third world people would actually help ourselves too, and save us the money and the risks in the long run.

The whole point of these teachings: karma, what goes around comes around, everything you do comes back on you, you reap what you sow, and of course, treat others the way you would like to be treated, is to promote utilitarianism. The common good does, in fact, include us, so we will personally reap the benefits of any contributions we make to the greater good.

We should act in such a way that helps others as much as possible, and hurts them as little as possible. Why? Because it might come back on us - surely people will treat us the same way we treat them – so we should treat them well in the first place. And also because: what if the shoe was on the other foot? What if we were starving or homeless? What would we want others to do for us?

When it comes to the topic of how to help the world, there is lots of room for constructive dialogue, progress, common ground, a unified sense of purpose; and a way of putting what many of us feel is right, and say we believe in, into practice.

Action matters more than belief for two reasons. One: no one is ever going to succeed in converting the whole world to believing what they do, yet many will die (or kill) trying. And then there’s also the unsettling possibility that we might be wrong, after all (as Bertrand Russell once said: “I will not kill or die for a belief, because I might be wrong”).

Two: antithetically to the problems posed by beliefs, when discussing what we can and should do for the world, most of us can no doubt agree on to how to help make the world a better place.

And, we are all capable of working alongside others, allowing them the right to believe what they wish, to have their own opinions, and most of the time, never even asking them what they believe in, because, it does not matter, nor should it. As long as they are doing a good job, what they think is their business.

What you do matters more than what you think, say, or claim to believe in. Because Action unifies, whereas belief divides. And action is needed, more today than ever before. We can do more together than on our own. As the saying goes: united we stand, divided, we fall.

Imagine the world tomorrow, if everyone just stopped arguing, put aside their differences and worked together towards a common goal.

As Ghandi said: “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

May we all do that, and make a difference.

Paying it forward, Donnetria Reed, left, and Jeremy Burnett put in time packing bags with gifts for needy families at the church where they both work in Fort Worth, Texas. PHOTO: MCT

A helping hand

Math proves the right formula for homeless man, reports Patrick McGee FORT WORTH, Texas – Jo Ann Reyes was hesitant when the homeless man volunteered to teach a community math class at her church.

His clothes were in terrible condition. He had long hair, his front teeth were rotted out, and he smelled of the streets.

But Reyes agreed to let Jeremy Burnett teach. He quickly got everyone to pass the math portion of the test. So Reyes, president of the Hope Centre, a ministry for the poor at the Without Walls Church in Fort Worth, Texas, recommended him to a nearby electrical training company. He soon had those students up to speed on the math portion of their test, too.

It was clear that, despite his appearance, the 35-year-old was intellectually gifted. Encouraged by his successes, Burnett told Reyes he wanted to save money for college.

Reyes told him: “Don’t wait. Go now.”

Last month, Burnett finished his first semester at Texas Wesleyan University in Fort Worth. He got an A in every class.

The achievement contrasts starkly with nearly every other part of Burnett’s life. He failed at military enlistment, marriage and three attempts at community college. He slept in parks and homeless shelters for years. He struggled with depression so severe that he was locked in a psychiatric ward three times.

“The hardest part about being homeless was getting food,” Burnett says. “There were several times when I had to eat out of garbage cans.

Then there’s the loneliness because it’s hard to find people to talk to.”

Attending high school in Spokane, Wash., Burnett showed promise.

His teachers enrolled him in advanced math classes, but he started using drugs and alcohol.

He stole from his parents and his brother and sister so often that his mother threw him out of the house in October 1990. Three months later, he stopped attending school.

Life as a homeless drug addict was so difficult, Burnett says, that he soon resolved to quit.

“I was sitting in the snow, crying, and I can remember the tears freezing on my face. I remember thinking, ‘I can’t live like this forever.’”

He quit drugs and alcohol for good, but years of homelessness and depression lay ahead.

He tried to turn his life around by joining the Army. Five weeks or so into basic training, he said, the Army decided he wasn’t soldier material and sent him home.

Always a lover of books, Burnett decided to see the Library of Congress in Washington, D.C. “I just had this idea of all these books and wanted to see them all.”

He resolved to get there by hitchhiking. He slept in parks and got by on scraps.

“People would give me money or food on occasion. Mostly, I ate out of trash cans.”

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Burnett caught a ride out of Denver that brought him to Fort Worth. He arrived around July 1992.

“It’s not exactly that I decided to stay. I just ended up staying,” he says.

On several occasions, people would take a liking to the soft-spoken young man and offer him a place to stay. But in what would become a pattern, people soon realized his bouts with depression were more than they could handle, and they had to force him out.

“They really couldn’t take care of me, especially someone with the psychological problems I had at the time, complicated by the problem I had with withdrawal from drugs. I don’t blame them at all.”

Burnett was in and out of homeless shelters for years. He slept in parks. Sometimes he enrolled in 12step recovery programs to deal with withdrawal.

Depression would burn the biggest holes in his life. He would not care about anything and would not take care of himself. His front teeth rotted and fell out.

In some intervening brighter times, Burnett would visit libraries to read fiction and sift through books about math.

Around 1993, he says, he worked in a fast-food restaurant and followed a co-worker to a community GED class. On his third visit to the class, he passed the test, getting the equivalent of a high school diploma.

Burnett took the GED to enrol at Tarrant County (Texas) College three times. But depression returned each time, robbing him of all interest in studying and eventually leading him to drop out.

Eventually, a public-health counsellor referred him to the county’s mental-health facility. Burnett said he was locked in the psychiatric ward for three months in 1997, a month and a half in 1998, and another month and a half in 2000.

Sometime in the mid-1990s, Burnett befriended a woman who worked at a Laundromat he frequented. He was struck by the warmth she showed him.

“One day I decided, ‘You know, I want to love the way she does.’ That was the moment I got saved. A week after that, I went to church and was baptized within a month,” Burnett says.

Homelessness and depression continued, but going to church put him around supportive people who could help him.

One was Tom Hardy.

Burnett met Hardy at the Union Gospel Mission, a shelter in Fort Worth where Burnett was staying and where Hardy worked as the night manager.

“He was the most depressed person I’ve ever known,” Hardy says.

“When I first met him, he used to just sleep for days, just days on end.

And when he got up, he would just reach in the closet and whatever would cover his body he would just put it on and wear it no matter what the condition. It could be dirty, smelly, wrinkled.”

But Hardy was impressed with the kindness Burnett could show others.

When a homeless man was kicked out of the shelter for being obnoxious to others, Burnett went out and sat with him on the curb all night.

Hardy became Burnett’s friend and would often suggest churches he could attend.

Burnett studied the Bible and eventually told Hardy he wanted to get married.

Hardy introduced him to a woman from church he thought would be right for him.

They married in 2004.

It did not work.

“I think it might have been a mistake because the marriage didn’t last very long. He didn’t open up to her,” Hardy says.

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Even as he struggled, people noticed that Burnett was gifted in math.

He would talk about complex mathematical problems, whether people wanted to hear it or not.

“I’d tell him, ‘Jeremy, don’t start.’ And he starts talking, and he tells me about some elaborate equation,” Hardy says. “I tell him, ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about,’ but that doesn’t stop him.”

Larry Acuff met Burnett through a friend. Acuff, an aerospace engineer at Lockheed Martin who has a master’s degree in engineering, was struck by how much Burnett knew.

“I was surprised to see someone who’s in the position that he’s in who can talk a little above me sometimes – or a lot above me – in math,” Acuff says.

Hardy had suggested that Burnett try the Without Walls Church, a Fort Worth congregation that was trying to fight off bankruptcy while maintaining ambitious outreach programs for the poor.

Burnett took a liking to the place and hung around. When he heard Reyes was struggling to teach math to a GED class, he offered to teach it.

Reyes says the neighbouring Independent Electrical Contractors told her they were having trouble getting people to pass the math portion of the electrician licensing test.

Reyes suggested Burnett, with a warning about his rumpled appearance. He was hired at $25 an hour.

Burnett says it was his first paying job in 10 years. Inspired, Burnett took Reyes’ advice and sought college enrolment.

Burnett said he went back to Tarrant County College. He was told he could not come back after dropping out three times. A friend suggested Texas Wesleyan University. So Burnett went there next.

“I got off the bus and I came to the library because it was the biggest building, and I found a map of the campus,” Burnett says.

He made his way to the administration building and said, “I’d like to enrol.”

Since his federal disability payments for depression amounted to so little, he qualified for enough grants and loans to cover his expenses. He moved out of a homeless shelter and into a dorm.

Joe Brown, dean of freshmen, says Burnett stuck out.

“At orientation, we noticed this big, goofy smile, and he was all in black and just so enthusiastic,” Brown says. “He can look at a blackboard when I’m writing down something and say, ‘Well, you’ve got 27 A’s and 40 C’s.’ He just sees things numerically.”

At orientation, the students were asked to say something about themselves. Brown says Burnett’s new classmates were stunned when he said he had lived on the streets for eight years.

A math placement test indicated that Burnett should enrol in a calculus class.

Brown asked the students to write down a goal for the semester.

Burnett wrote that he wanted a 4.0 grade-point average.

Burnett studied assiduously and enjoyed hearing the correct pronunciation of terms he had only seen in books. He missed only one class, to attend court to finalize his divorce. He no longer takes any medication for depression, and his GPA came out to a perfect 4.0.

Reyes says she wants to find someone to fix Burnett’s teeth.

Burnett says he wants to become a teacher. He has not decided whether he wants to teach college or high school. He wants a degree in math and Spanish.

Ambitious goals for someone with his history.

But Burnett brushes that aside and is optimistic. He says he’ll rely on his faith to get past his troubles: “I think Jesus is just a little bit stronger.”

On The Other Hand…

As an atheist, I truly believe Africa needs God Just after Christmas, this article appeared on the Times of London website.

It offers some unique perspectives on this debate. Missionaries, not aid money, are the solution to Africa’s biggest problem – the crushing passivity of the people’s mindset, writes MATTHEW PARRIS

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efore Christmas I returned, after 45 years, to the country that as a boy I knew as Nyasaland. Today it’s Malawi, and The Times Christmas Appeal includes a small British charity working there. Pump Aid helps rural communities to install a simple pump, letting people keep their village wells sealed and clean. I went to see this work.

It inspired me, renewing my flagging faith in development charities. But travelling in Malawi refreshed another belief, too: one I’ve been trying to banish all my life, but an observation I’ve been unable to avoid since my African childhood. It confounds my ideological beliefs, stubbornly refuses to fit my world view, and has embarrassed my growing belief that there is no God. Now a confirmed atheist, I’ve become convinced of the enormous contribution that Christian evangelism makes in Africa:

sharply distinct from the work of secular NGOs, government projects and international aid efforts. These alone will not do.

Education and training alone will not do. In Africa Christianity changes people’s hearts. It brings a spiritual transformation. The rebirth is real. The change is good.

I used to avoid this truth by applauding – as you can – the practical work of mission churches in Africa. It’s a pity, I would say, that salvation is part of the package, but Christians black and white, working in Africa, do heal the sick, do teach people to read and write; and only the severest kind of secularist could see a mission hospital or school and say the world would be better without it.

I would allow that if faith was needed to motivate missionaries to help, then, fine: but what counted was the help, not the faith.

But this doesn’t fit the facts. Faith does more than support the missionary; it is also transferred to his flock. This is the effect that INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009 61

matters so immensely, and which I cannot help observing.

First, then, the observation. We had friends who were missionaries, and as a child I stayed often with them; I also stayed, alone with my little brother, in a traditional rural African village. In the city we had working for us Africans who had converted and were strong believers. The Christians were always different. Far from having cowed or confined its converts, their faith appeared to have liberated and relaxed them. There was a liveliness, a curiosity, an engagement with the world – a directness in their dealings with others – that seemed to be missing in traditional African life. They stood tall.

At 24, travelling by land across the continent reinforced this impression. From Algiers to Niger, Nigeria, Cameroon and the Central African Republic, then right through the Congo to Rwanda, Tanzania and Kenya, four student friends and I drove our old Land Rover to Nairobi.

We slept under the stars, so it was important as we reached the more populated and lawless parts of the sub-Sahara that every day we find somewhere safe by nightfall. Often near a mission.

Whenever we entered a territory worked by missionaries, we had to acknowledge that something changed in the faces of the people we passed and spoke to: something in their eyes, the way they approached you direct, man-to-man, without looking down or away. They had not become more deferential towards strangers – in some ways less so – but more open.

This time in Malawi it was the same. I met no missionaries. You do not encounter missionaries in the lobbies of expensive hotels discussing development strategy documents, as you do with the big NGOs. But instead I noticed that a handful of the most impressive African members of the Pump Aid team (largely from Zimbabwe) were, privately, strong Christians. “Privately” because the charity is entirely secular and I never heard any of its team so much as mention religion while working in the villages. But I picked up the Christian references in our conversations. One, I saw, was studying a devotional textbook in the car. One, on Sunday, went off to church at dawn for a two-hour service.

It would suit me to believe that their honesty, diligence and optimism in their work was unconnected with personal faith.

62 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

Their work was secular, but surely affected by what they were. What they were was, in turn, influenced by a conception of man’s place in the Universe that Christianity had taught.

There’s long been a fashion among Western academic sociologists for placing tribal value systems within a ring fence, beyond critiques founded in our own culture: “theirs” and therefore best for “them”; authentic and of intrinsically equal worth to ours.

I don’t follow this. I observe that tribal belief is no more peaceable than ours; and that it suppresses individuality. People think collectively; first in terms of the community, extended family and tribe. This rural-traditional mindset feeds into the “big man” and gangster politics of the African city: the exaggerated respect for a swaggering leader, and the (literal) inability to understand the whole idea of loyal opposition.

Anxiety – fear of evil spirits, of ancestors, of nature and the wild, of a tribal hierarchy, of quite everyday things – strikes deep into the whole structure of rural African thought. Every man has his place and, call it fear or respect, a great weight grinds down the individual spirit, stunting curiosity. People won’t take the initiative, won’t take things into their own hands or on their own shoulders.

How can I, as someone with a foot in both camps, explain?

When the philosophical tourist moves from one world view to another he finds – at the very moment of passing into the new – that he loses the language to describe the landscape to the old.

But let me try an example: the answer given by Sir Edmund Hillary to the question: Why climb the mountain? “Because it’s there,” he said.

To the rural African mind, this is an explanation of why one would not climb the mountain. It’s... well, there. Just there. Why interfere? Nothing to be done about it, or with it. Hillary’s further explanation – that nobody else had climbed it – would stand as a second reason for passivity.

Christianity, post-Reformation and post-Luther, with its teaching of a direct, personal, two-way link between the individual and God, unmediated by the collective, and unsubordinate to any other human being, smashes straight through the philosphical/spiritual framework I’ve just described. It offers something to hold on to to those anxious to cast off a crushing tribal groupthink. That is why and how it liberates.

Those who want Africa to walk tall amid 21st-century global competition must not kid themselves that providing the material means or even the knowhow that accompanies what we call development will make the change. A whole belief system must first be supplanted.

And I’m afraid it has to be supplanted by another. Removing Christian evangelism from the African equation may leave the continent at the mercy of a malign fusion of Nike, the witch doctor, the mobile phone and the machete.

Was blind, now sees

A blind teen who ‘sees’ with sound looks at death without fear, reports Cynthia Hubert SACRAMENTO, Calif. – Time is growing short for the boy who “sees” with sound. Ben Underwood, the blind teenager who has dazzled people all over the world with his ability to navigate using a tongue-clicking skill called echolocation, is getting weaker day by day.

The cancer that took his eyes when he was a toddler has returned with a vengeance, invading his brain and his spinal cord. Ben’s legs no longer are strong enough to support him, and his mother must carry him up and down the stairs of their Elk Grove, Calif., home. The teenager who travelled the globe the past two years giving inspirational speeches and impressing people with his ability to get around in a world he cannot see, spends most of his time these days in a hospital bed in the living room, sleeping, praying and listening to music.

Ben is under the care of hospice nurses, and he understands what that means. But he insists he is not afraid of dying, even at the tender age of 16. One day soon, he told his mother, Aquanetta Gordon, he simply will go to sleep and wake up in heaven.

“He is such a strong kid. He never complains,” Gordon said on a recent day, as Ben slept nearby under a fuzzy blue blanket. “I am the one who cries.

The idea of having to bury my baby? I’m not sure how to do this.”

Ben’s doctors said he could have weeks, or months, to live. But whenever the end comes, he will have left a powerful imprint.

Since The (Sacramento) Bee published his story in May 2006, Ben has been featured in magazines, newspapers and television programs from Japan to Great Britain. He gave an inspirational speech to some 10,000 people at a Christian conference in Hawaii and has become an Internet sensation. He has chatted with Oprah Winfrey and danced with Ellen DeGeneres on national TV. He has become friends with the iconic musician Stevie Wonder, who celebrated his 16th birthday with him and slipped into town quietly again last week for a visit.

“Ben is an extraordinary young man who has inspired literally millions of people,” said his doctor, Kaiser Permanente paediatric oncologist Kent Jolly. “He has fought a heroic battle.”

Blind since he was a toddler, when a cancer called retinoblastoma took both of his eyes, Ben adapted remarkably well. He taught himself to reach places safely by counting steps and by using his keen senses of hearing, smell and touch. Gordon insisted that her son attend mainstream schools and be treated no differently from his classmates. She encouraged him to take risks.

When he got older, Ben taught himself to identify objects by making clicking noises with his tongue, creating sound waves that he uses to identify objects and get around. The skill, called echolocation, is commonly seen in bats and dolphins but rarely documented in humans.

Thanks to his spirit and his incredible navigational skills, Ben has been able to take part in all of the rituals and activities of childhood and adolescence.

He has attended mainstream schools and has refused to use a white cane identifying him as blind. He’s played basketball, practiced karate, skated and ridden a bike through his neighbourhood, clicking his tongue and listening for sound waves that tell him whether he is facing a brick wall, a metal car or other obstacles. He’s learned to type 60 words per minute and text message his friends. He’s played video games by memorizing scenarios and identifying sounds that characters make before they move or strike.

Jolly and Ben’s paediatric ophthalmologist, James Ruben, said they have never met anyone quite like him.

“It’s extraordinary that Aquanetta has raised him without treating him as if he was disabled, and Ben has risen to the challenge,” Jolly said. “He’s never been allowed to cut corners or take it easy or feel sorry for himself.”

Ben’s cancer was in check until 2007, when he developed a tumour in his sinus cavity. Intensive chemotherapy, radiation treatments and experimental measures have failed to cure it, Jolly said.

The teen continues to get radiation treatments that keep him more comfortable, but the effects are temporary, said Jolly. Ben dislikes taking pain medication, but gets some relief when his mother gently massages his head and shoulders.

Her son is aware that his time is running out, Gordon said, and he accepts his situation, though he has not talked much about it.

“After the doctor told us what was going on, I asked Ben, ‘Are you afraid to die? Are you scared? Do you need me to hold you?’” she said. He told her that he had no fear, and that he looks forward to seeing her in heaven.

“He’s totally at peace,” Gordon said. “My strength comes from him.”

In recent weeks, as Ben has become weaker, his many friends have been spending long hours at his bedside. They rub his hands and feet, fluff his pillows and play his choice of music on the stereo in the living room. Some of his favourite tunes are songs from a gospel rap CD that he created. The project is not quite finished.

Maybe Stevie Wonder will take up the task, Gordon mused.

“Ben has always been a kid I could rely on,” said Gordon, who has four other children, ages 13 and up. “Always responsible. Always taking care of business.

“I only get him for moment. I won’t get to see him get married or have a family or go to college.

“But Ben’s life wasn’t just for me. It was to share with the world.

Now Ben is dying in a graceful way. That’s part of his purpose, too.”

n INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009 63

think life | money

Sign away your life Peter Hensley looks at powers-of-attorney Jim and Moira watched the ambulance back into the drive way across the street and guessed the reason for its appearance was their good friend Michael. At 75 he was getting on. They resisted the urge to rush and make the obvious inquiries. They knew that Janet and Michael had family staying over for the holidays. At one stage there, Janet had confided to Moira that she had fourteen plus a few little tackers staying over. The numbers had since dropped to eight, including themselves. Not bad for a small three bedroom bungalow. Family always seems to visit over the Christmas holidays, must have something to do with the amazing coastal location and the close proximity to the beach.

One of the kids casually asked Janet if Michael had made her his power of attorney if any thing went wrong. Admittedly it was an unusual question to ask at the time, but thinking back it was not inappropriate. Janet knew that all their affairs were in joint names and both had individual signing authority on their bank accounts, but she had to admit that they had never gotten around to appointing each other as their Power of Attorney.

Once Michael had been safely shipped off to hospital Janet ducked across the road to ask Jim, who happened to be a Justice of the Peace if he could be of assistance. Of course she had to first explain to Jim and Moira why the ambulance had 64 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

been called. It turned out to be a problem with Michael’s new medication. He had been put on this new drug and he thought he should have been taking three tablets once a day when necessary, when in fact he should have been taking one tablet, three times a day with meals. Janet was annoyed with the doctor because she had been present when the new drug was prescribed and she admitted to not fully understanding the dosage either. She had watched Michael self administer his prescription and on reflection acknowledged that it was not helping with his breathing. The kids had even tried to get him to go back to the doctor, but he was adamant that he was not going to doctor whilst he had family staying for the holidays. He was a tough old bugger and a little matter of a chesty cough was not going to get in the way of enjoying both the company of their children and grandchildren.

It was just before breakfast when Janet found him sitting in his favourite chair sitting perfectly still with his head back, mouth agape and a glassy look in his eyes.

He should have been reading the paper, but that had fallen from his hands and was scattered over the floor. Janet surprised herself by grabbing the phone and dialing triple one. The ambulance crew was familiar with their street as they had attended every house in their cul de sac at some stage over the previous couple of years. It only took

them eleven minutes to arrive and once they had assessed the situation it didn’t seem long before he was on the gurney and loaded in the back for the trip to the hospital. Typically, Michael did not want any fuss and refused to let anyone travel with him to the hospital.

Janet, having lived with the obstinate old bugger for over fifty years knew that she was better off letting him get his own way, she would organise the family first and then visit him later.

And so, Janet found herself across the street with their long time neighbours. Jim explained that a Power of Attorney is a document that legally allows the nominated person to sign on behalf of the person issuing the attorney. Jim also advised her that there are two different types of attorney, the most important one relating to a person’s property, which includes investments and bank accounts. The second type of attorney relates to Personal Care and Welfare.

Typically appointments are made when someone is overseas and they need someone locally to manage their affairs, however it now common to see husbands and

wives grant both types of attorney to each other, just in case one of them is incapacitated through either illness or injury. This is the type that Janet wanted.

Jim went on to explain that if Michael had suffered a stroke which rendered him mentally disabled then without a presigned power of attorney in place Janet could be forced to apply to the court for the required authority to manage their joint affairs.

Jim had heard a story about a farmer who suffered a serious accident on the farm and as a result was placed into a specialised long term residential care in a major city a long way away from the farm. His wife wanted to sell the farm and move close by to care for her husband, however the process was delayed and made more expensive due to the fact the husband was not capable of signing the necessary documents.

Janet was a fan of keeping things simple and did not want any fuss. She had heard about these documents and knew that Jim and Moira’s financial adviser was a great fan of planning ahead and having these documents in place. In fact she had heard so much about him, that they thought should get along and meet him in person, but that would have to wait until Michael’s health improved.

“There are two different types of attorney, the most important one relating to a person’s property, which includes investments and bank accounts. The second type of attorney relates to Personal Care and Welfare Knowing that Jim was a Justice of the Peace she asked if he was able to draft an EPA up for them to sign and if he would act as their witness. Jim replied that normally this would not be a problem, most book or stationery shops sold short form, do it yourself documents, it was even available as a download from the Ministry of Justice website, however the law in respect to the witnessing of these papers was changed towards the end of 2008.

All new enduring powers of attorney signed after 28th September 2008 have to be witnessed by either a practicing lawyer, a registered legal executive or an authorised representative from a recognised trustee

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company. Accompanying this change are a range of regulations strengthening both the needs of the donor (against abuse) and the responsibilities of the attorney to act properly and in the best interests of the donor.

Whilst this seemed to be getting complicated, Jim assured Janet that making such appointments was both wise and smart.

His adviser had told him that the majority of EPA’s remain inactive and they are best treated as a form of insurance. Once they are appropriately signed and witnessed, they could be placed in the bottom drawer and hopefully the occasion would never arise where they are required to be utilised.

Janet decided that there was not much she could do and so over the next couple of days she visited Michael regularly and fussed over the family. Once his medication dosage was reset, his condition (and demeanor) improved considerably and he was quickly discharged back into the care of his loving family. She did however make a mental note to contact their lawyer and have the appropriate paperwork signed once the summer holidays were over.

A copy of Peter Hensley’s disclosure statement is available upon request and is free of charge. © Peter J Hensley, January 2009

EVE’S BITE

THE DIVINITY CODE

“…the most politically incorrect book” in New Zealand. He is absolutely right…Prepare to be surprised and shocked.

Wishart may ruffle a few feathers but his arguments are fair as his evidence proves. If you are looking for a stimulating mental challenge, or a cause to fight for, Eve’s Bite will definitely satisfy. – Wairarapa Times-Age

Wishart takes up the gauntlet laid down by Richard Dawkins in The God Delusion, and in fact, uses Dawkins own logic and methodology to launch a counter-attack against unbelief.

Challenging…thought provoking…compelling – keepingstock.blogspot.com

Discover the truth for yourself. Get these two books today from Whitcoulls, Borders, PaperPlus, Dymocks, Take Note, and all good independent booksellers, or online at

I’m having a cracking good read of another cracking good read – The Divinity Code by Ian Wishart, his follow-up book to Eve’s Bite which was also a cracking good read – comment on “Being Frank”

www.evesbite.com INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009 65

think life | EDUCATION

Education – “The inmates are in charge of the asylum.” – ?

Amy Brooke circles the cuckoo’s nest

This comment, made to me by a highly experienced teacher, more or less sums up the attitude fed-up, disgusted and genuinely knowledgeable teachers now feel.

Disillusionment is spreading at the disgraceful situation the Wellington-based education politburo has long worked to impose, to undermine quality teaching in this country. Comments flooding back from the chalk face are that the constant new curriculum revisions, drafts and rules “have been drafted by people who are, at best, ignorant and stupid.”

But are they? Is the disrepute into which a once-quality education system has been brought simply the result of mediocre minds, and management dunderheads in control? I doubt it. The evidence is too 66 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

strong that Lenin’s “useful fools” – i.e. the majority of obedient, unquestioning, not very bright teachers, and gender-inclusive, feminist-dominated yes-men have in reality been controlled for over half a century now by dedicated theorists. Their strong political aims? – that of the neo-Marxist whiteanting of Western democracies by bedding in a new mis-education agenda.

It’s been put a number of ways. The Times former great commentator Bernard Levin argued that all the education politburo’s headquarters should be razed to the ground – only he put it more strongly. The recently deceased Simon Gray, writer and former teacher, is reported by fellow writer and historian Allan Massie (who reminds us that our own culture grew out of Roman

civilization) as saying that we live in exceptionally stupid times. Gray had noted that state education is still controlled by the “enfants sauvages” of the Sixties. “We should have strung them from lamp-posts while we had the chance.” Massie regrets the missed opportunity.

Stupid is as stupid does, and idiots are all around us – the product of a trashy philosophy that has deliberately left little in the mushy minds of so many cheated young New Zealanders except infantile popmusic, binge-drinking, fashion, partying, getting laid, driving too fast – in more or less that order – oh yes – and having to be rescued in their hundreds from summer drownings by understandably fed-up lifeguards. And shock-horror, this year’s

poor 20-year-old Mr Kaiteriteri, mishearing his $80 voucher prize from a menswear shop called Whitwells was actually Whitcoulls, reportedly scoffed, “Yeah, like I need books.”

Yeah, who needs books? After all, being able to read a bus timetable can help get you a unit standards pass for what used to be School Certificate English. Video evidence of your doing the haka earns a lot more unit standard points than being able to write an essay.

Schools are attracting brickbats for the silly jargon not only used in reports fiveyear-olds bring home, but in the ridiculous self assessment tasks primary school children are now set – as if they are introspective philosophers. Examples? Self-management; self-evaluation; interpersonal skills using “appropriate” mediation skills to solve conflicts; working within “ageappropriate” levels; practising safety procedures, etc. Conjure up some nonsense jargon for yourself: you’ll find it there. And it starts with what used to be called the tiny tots – our very new entrants!

It’s time for parents and good teachers to be angry. This nonsense is inflicted on them and our children by the education apparatchiks now dominating and manipulating the system. What we have, in reality, as another experienced teacher friend has noted, is the planned politics of confusion within the system – what Telecom’s Theresa Gattung notoriously let slip as “confusion marketing” – i.e. providing such a variety of plans and so much over-choice that the customer becomes paralyzed. Being able to properly evaluate such a plethora of innovations, recommendations, evaluations and revaluations becomes impossible.

The education establishment has adopted this corporate management philosophy.

Engaging with its theorizing, one issue at a time, is a great mistake. Hydra-headed, this bureaucratic monster simply substitutes even more. The only solution in such a situation is to refuse to play the same game – to walk away. And the time has well and truly come for this.

Make no mistake – the age-old emphasis on academic achievement, on actually learning to acquire knowledge – and ultimately its greater aim, wisdom – has gone. What’s more, it’s been deliberately junked. The programme for both teachers and pupils is procedures, procedures, procedures – working within paradigms – i.e. within rigidities of control imposed upon the teacher… stressing supposed interper-

sonal skills, group interaction, and all sorts of increasingly contrived displacement activities now forced upon classrooms to conjure up the pretence of genuine learning – whereas the real aim of the education politburo is to withhold it.

Hope for the future lies not only in angry parents and complaining employers, but especially in the voluntary coming together of individuals – in loose associations of experienced teachers, heads of departments and enlightened (only) principals – to make a well-overdue stand. Those in favour of the NCEA; of unit standards; of the fudging of what should be rigorous external assessment – i.e. genuine, nationwide examinations now jargonized as “achievement standards” (with the ministry’s plan to eventually merge these with unit standards, and to thus finally achieve its aim of getting rid of all external examinations): those buying into all of this rubbishy nonsense should be excluded.

The only hope of restoring the promise of quality education for New Zealand children is for what can be a powerful grouping of genuinely knowledgeable individuals – rigorously excluding and rejecting the old guard very much associated with, and part of the failure of, the system. Disgusted at the mess that the mis-called Ministry of Education, the NZQA and their associated hangers-on have contrived, they will have to take the first important steps to publicly dissociate themselves and their schools from it.

I stress committed, competent, knowledgeable, individual teachers, HODs and principals, because what would kill any such movement before it started would be to allow a mandarin-controlled grouping such as the New Zealand Business Roundtable and its basically ineffectual Education Forum offspring to set up yet another formalised association trying to dominate such a move. The NZBR’s illconceived policies of long attempting to set directions on socio-political issues in this country, instead of opening them up for genuine and wide-ranging debate, have arguably killed off areas of potentially useful reform. Although its influence has long waned, any voluntary association viewed as part of either a far-Left or far-Right politicized initiative would be immediately discredited before it gained momentum.

What we can well applaud is the very welcome initiative and excellent critiquing of the Standards Review and New Curriculum in mathematics by, for example, HODs such as Rory Barrett,

Macleans College, together with Mark Phillips, Assistant Principal; Gerard Leeuw, Auckland Grammar; Geoff Smith, King’s College; Greg Port, Pinehurst School; Vaughan Mitchell, Aorere College; Karl Arnesen, Avondale College; Arnold Van Den Heuvel, Westlake Boys High School; Yoko Raike, Westlake Girls High School; Tony Carey, Mount Roskill Grammar School, and Steve Bushell, Assistant Principal, Dilworth College.

The move to finally demand a parallel, independently-established, private, not state-dominated system of education in this country, working towards providing nationwide external examinations and a consistently uniform, quality curriculum accessible to all – completely removed from the control of the Wellington politburo – is going to come from such individuals… encouraging others to stand up to be counted. It’s time. © Amy Brooke www.amybrooke.co.nz www.summersounds..co.nz http://www.livejournal.com/users/brookeonline/

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009 67

think life | SCIENCE

Zoom, zoom, zoom Astronomers hit a telescopic jackpot, reports Robert S. Boyd Astronomers this year are about to get a windfall of new and improved telescopes of unprecedented power with which to explore the universe.

The bonanza arrives 400 years after Galileo spied craters on the moon through the world’s first telescope.

Instruments coming on line in 2009 will let researchers see farther and more clearly than ever – perhaps even detect signs of life on another planet or an asteroid swooping dangerously close to Earth.

The telescopes will open new windows on the heavens by using different technologies and different wavelengths of light. They’ll be able to see things in the far ranges of ultravi68 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

olet, infrared or radio waves that are invisible in the narrow band of optical light.

“This year’s going to be huge,” says Julianne Dalcanton, an astronomer at the University of Washington in Seattle. “The new capabilities are going to be absolutely fabulous.”

The International Astronomical Union, an organization of about 10,000 professional astronomers, has named 2009 the International Year of Astronomy. That’s in honour of Galileo, who was accused of heresy by the Roman Catholic Church for insisting that the Earth moves around the sun.

“In 2009, we would like everybody on Earth to think at least once about the wonders of the universe,” says IAU

President Catherine Cesarsky, a French astrophysicist.

Among telescopes projects under way in 2009 are: • A major upgrade of the 19-year-old Hubble Space Telescope, including two advanced detectors that will vastly improve its vision for another five years.

• A bigger European rival to Hubble called the Herschel Space Observatory.

• ALMA, an array of 50-plus telescopes on a lofty desert in Chile that will be the most powerful ground-based observation system to date.

• Kepler, an orbiting telescope designed specifically to look for inhabitable planets around distant stars.

• Pan-STARRS, a set of four interconnected telescopes to detect fast-moving hazardous objects, such as satellites or space rocks.

• IceCube, an upside-down space particle observatory buried under the ice at the South Pole.

• The Allen Telescope Array, a set of 42 of radio telescopes listening for extra-terrestrial messages from possible civilizations around another star.

Waiting for future financing are even larger, more powerful machines, including two giant telescopes with light-collecting mirrors three to four times bigger than any existing telescope.

The larger of the two, the 140-foot-wide European Extremely Large Telescope, could make pictures of clouds, mountains and seas on distant planets. It’s now in the design stage, and construction might begin in 2010. Despite its huge size, it’s a scaleddown version of a 330-foot Overwhelmingly Large (OWL) telescope that was cancelled for technical and cost reasons.

Another ground-based instrument, the Large Synoptic Survey Telescope (LSST) will take about 1,000 images of each spot in the entire sky over its lifetime. Taken together, the repeated images will produce colour movies of celestial objects as they change or move, including potentially hazardous asteroids. The LSST can also trace changes in the expansion of the universe caused by the mysterious force known as dark energy. Work on the telescope mirror is under way, and it should start taking images in 2015.

The James Webb Space Telescope, NASA’s successor to Hubble, is under construction and scheduled for launch in 2013.

Its main mirror, 21 feet in diameter, has to be folded up to fit in the launch vehicle, along with a sunshield that opens up to

the size of a tennis court. JWST will orbit almost a million miles from Earth, where it will study the first stars and galaxies formed after the birth of the universe, 13.7 billion years ago. Unlike Hubble, JWST mostly will work in infrared light.

Here are main features of the new crop of telescopes: HUBBLE

The Hubble Space Telescope, which was launched in 1990, will get a new lease on life when NASA launches the fifth and final shuttle mission to repair and upgrade its aging instruments. The launch is scheduled for May 12.

In addition, astronauts will install two devices – a Wide Field Camera and a Cosmic Origins Spectrograph – that will add fresh capabilities to the venerable Hubble.

“We estimate that at the end of this repair, Hubble will be 90 times more powerful than when it was first launched,” says Sandra Faber, an astronomer at the University of California, Santa Cruz.

Dalcanton, the University of Washington astronomer, is especially excited by the new spectrograph, a device that can determine the chemical makeup of a star and the atmosphere of an alien planet. This information is usually more valuable to scientists than a pretty image.

“An image tells us something’s there,” Dalcanton says. “Spectra tell us what kind of object it is, what it’s made of, and does it have an atmosphere.”

HERSCHEL

On April 10, the European Space Agency is scheduled to launch the Herschel Space Observatory – a telescope that’s bigger and more powerful than Hubble is. Herschel’s main light-collecting mirror is 11.5 feet (3.5 metres) wide, one and a half times bigger than Hubble’s, and the largest mirror ever deployed in space.

Herschel will be parked nearly 1.5 million kilometres out in space, far beyond Hubble’s 600km, low-earth orbit, and will observe mostly in the far-infrared range, which Hubble doesn’t reach.

Piggybacking on the same launch rocket with Herschel will be the Planck Satellite, a European telescope that will survey the cosmic background radiation left over from the birth of the universe in greater detail than ever before.

ALMA

Work is proceeding rapidly on the Atacama

Large Millimetre Array – ALMA for short – an assembly of 66 huge antennas on the 5000-metre-elevation Atacama desert in Chile. It’s one of the coldest, driest places on Earth, which minimizes atmospheric interference.

The first of its 100-ton antennas will be delivered to the site a year from now. Linked together by computers, they’ll collect radiation from objects in the coldest, deepest regions of space with 10 times the resolution of Hubble. ALMA may be able to observe the formation of planets around other stars.

ALLEN TELESCOPE

This array of 42 radio antennas near Mount Lassen in northern California will begin in March collecting extremely faint radio signals from space. Its sponsors hope to make the first detection of intelligent life beyond the solar system.

The search will concentrate on about 250,000 “promising target stars” near the centre of the Milky Way galaxy, says Jill Tarter, director of the Centre for SETI (Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence) Research in Mountain View, Calif. Tarter, who’s the reallife basis for the Jodie Foster character in the movie “Contact,” has devoted her career to searching for alien civilizations.

“At first we will give highest priority to target stars that are known to host exo-planetary systems,” Tarter says. If more funds are found, the Allen array will be expanded to 350 antennas, hoping to catch a call from ET. KEPLER

The Kepler telescope, NASA’s alien planet hunter, is scheduled for launch on March 5 into an orbit that will trail behind the Earth as it circles the sun. It will spend three and a half years precisely measuring the brightness of 100,000 stars in the Milky Way. Kepler will be looking for a slight dimming of a star’s light – evidence that a planet is crossing in front of it. The change in brightness will let scientists determine the size and orbit of the planet, which will show whether it might be able to support life. It’s the first mission specifically designed to detect Earth-like planets.

ICECUBE

This unusual telescope is nearing completion under the ice at the South Pole.

Instead of looking up to the sky, IceCube looks down through Earth to detect highenergy cosmic particles called neutrinos, which are produced by exotic objects, such as black holes or galactic explosions, in

deep space. Neutrinos are extremely hard to detect because they travel at almost the speed of light and can zip untouched through ordinary matter.

When finished in 2011, IceCube will consist of 70 long “strings,” each holding 60 light detectors, sunk in holes drilled a mile or more into the clear ice. The detectors will track neutrinos that have passed through the planet so scientists can determine their origin.

So far, 52 detector strings have been installed. Researchers began collecting data in April 2008.

A sensational, if unlikely, IceCube result would be the first strong evidence that the world contains extra dimensions – beyond the four familiar dimensions of space and time. Extra dimensions are a key part of “string theory,” currently the most fashionable version of the physical laws that govern the universe.

PAN-STARRS

An array of four interconnected telescopes on a mountain in Maui, Hawaii, Pan-STARRS is designed to detect rapidly moving objects in space, such as satellites or asteroids.

The first version, PS1, will begin scientific observations by May, and start regular scans of the entire sky in June or July. By taking two observations of a single region 20 to 30 minutes apart, unidentified objects can be tracked and their future positions plotted.

“We’re looking for things that go bump in the night,” says Jim Heasley, an astronomer at the University of Hawaii.

ON THE WEB The International Year of Astronomy: www.astronomy2009.org The Hubble Space Telescope: http://hubble.nasa.gov/ The Kepler Mission: http://kepler.nasa.gov/ The Herschel Space Observatory: http://sci.esa.int/science-e/www/ area/index.cfm?fareaid=16 The Pan-STARRS project: http://pan-starrs.ifa.hawaii. edu/public/ The Allen Telescope Array: http://www.seti.org/Page. aspx?pid=503 The IceCube Neutrino Observatory: http://icecube.wisc.edu/ ALMA: http://almaobservatory.org/ INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009 69

think life | TECHNOLOGY The market for casual titles has grown to more than $2 billion, and women comprise three-quarters of the consumers who purchase the games.

Streaming into the living room

Intelligent designs Troy Wolverton reviews 2008’s top tech trends It would have been hard for even the most innovative product to stand out last year in such a lousy economy. But even had the economy been good, the tech industry wouldn’t have earned many headlines.

In short, there was nothing comparable to the debut of the iPhone or even Windows Vista.

That said, 2008 wasn’t exactly boring.

Although many developments were more incremental than world-shattering, they may yet change how we interact with technology in important ways.

Here are some highlights:

to capture the perfect “moment” even if late in fully pressing the button.

Digital photography leaders Nikon and Canon introduced the other camera innovation last year: an interchangeable-lens camera that takes videos.

Most digital cameras have long been able to take videos, of course. But adding the feature to professional and semiprofessional cameras is a big advance, because such cameras generally take the highest-quality pictures and, with their multiple lenses, can capture a wide range of shots.

Cameras learn new tricks

The stereotypical gamer has been a twentysomething male. And into guy things like sports or blowing stuff up.

In 2008 it became clear that the stereotype just doesn’t square with reality. Increasingly girls - and women - are gaming.

Nintendo’s Wii became the top-selling console in the United States last year in large part by appealing to women. More than half of active Wii users are female, according to Parks Associates.

The trend goes beyond the Wii. One of the fastest-growing segments in recent years has been so-called “casual” games, the card and puzzle games that can be played quickly and easily on a computer.

The only things digital camera manufacturers seemed to focus on in recent years were how many megapixels they could cram into their sensors or what bright new colours they could dream up for camera cases.

But last year, camera makers came out with several bona fide innovations.

Casio introduced several of them with its Exilim EX-F1, the company’s first SLR camera. It built in a superfast sensor, which allows it to take slow-motion video and better capture action shots than other cameras.

It also designed the camera to begin taking images as soon as the user depresses the shutter button halfway. This allows the user 70 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

Girls carve out a niche in gaming

The digital living room, which is supposed to bring all the video and music available on the Internet to consumers’ entertainment centres, has never lived up to its hype.

But hope for the category was renewed last year.

Sling Media, the folks behind the Slingbox, came out with a device called the SlingCatcher to increase the digital content consumers can watch on their TVs, anywhere in the world – even in New Zealand. The SlingCatcher allows users to project anything on their PCs onto their big-screen TVs. TV shows, Web pages, stock quotes and photo galleries all can be viewed on TVs as long as there’s a PC nearby.

Smart phones get smarter and more appealing

Before Apple’s App store, finding and installing phone applications was difficult, involving a search of multiple Web sites or navigating through phone menus.

But with the App store it launched in June, Apple made it simple to install new programs. The result is that consumers have downloaded millions of applications and the iPhone has quickly evolved from a phone that’s able to do some data functions and access the Web to almost a miniature PC. Others are following Apple’s lead.

Google, for instance, launched its own marketplace to collect applications for new Android phones.

Everyone joins a social network

Twenty-Oh-Eight was the year social networking grew beyond tech geeks and teenagers.

Most emblematic of the change was Facebook, whose active members swelled from less than 60 million at the end of 2007 to more than 140 million by the end of 2008, propelling it to become the largest social-networking site.

But perhaps more important was social networking’s success in the political sphere.

Barack Obama used his My.BarackObama. com site to attract and organize thousands of volunteers and first-time campaign contributors, a big part of his successful run for president.

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INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009 71

feel life | SPORT

Tiger hunting He’s the fresh hope on New Zealand golf’s horizon, labelled as the next big thing on the sport’s ultra-competitive world stage. Korean-born Danny Lee is a complex character, getting to grips with his status as World Amateur Champion. And he’s in a rush to turn professional. Sports columnist Chris Forster gets to grips with a teenager who’s got everything, including an uneasy alliance

Unaccustomed as he is to public speaking. Danny Lee has a weakness in his game, and it’s not on the golf course.

The 18 year old’s lithe body coils and whips through his drives with tremendous timing and power, smacking the poor ball 300 metres plus down the fairway. He can plant his iron shots off the fairway and right at the flag with monotonous regularity and slide the slipperiest of birdie putts into the heart of the hole. But he’s still learning the trade when it comes to facing the media and managing his temperament Lee copped plenty of home country 72 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

criticism over his last round meltdown, while representing New Zealand at the Eisenhower Trophy in Adelaide.

This was just a couple of months after becoming the youngest ever winner of the US Amateur title at Pinehurst in South Carolina, eclipsing the age an 18 year old Tiger Woods managed in 1994.

Then there was the inappropriate comment he jokingly made to airport officials about what was in his bag while waiting to board an international flight in October.

Hardly the stuff of champions, but you can forgive the guy. He’s suddenly famous and he’s

fresh out of Rotorua Boys High School.

Rotorua is home to Danny Lee, who emigrated to this country with his parents when he was 8 years old from one of the emerging hotbeds of golfing talent, South Korea.

He prowls the Springfield Golf Club regularly, and doesn’t mind playing with the once-a-week golfers, who are delighted to break 90 in their 18 hole journey. A replica of his U.S trophy sits in the clubrooms, and he’s as loyal as a young man can be to his hometown.

But the criticism of his Eisenhower Trophy choke created some angst for the

talented teenager. A recent article in the city’s Daily Post claims his delay in turning professional straight after the U.S Amateur triumph, could’ve cost Lee $100 million.

These were sponsorship deals, presumably from American corporates keen to get Lee on their books before he becomes the hottest things since Tiger Woods.

But he’d made a commitment to his adopted country and the World Teams Trophy, which ended in grave disappointment.

He’d promised New Zealand Golf, and the public backlash hurt.

New Zealand Golf CEO Bill McGowan is sure Lee will stay in the fold and represent his adopted homeland offshore, once he turns professional.

“We think it’s pretty important that Danny plays under the New Zealand flag.

Everything that we’ve heard from Danny, and spoken with him – is that he’ll continue to play as a New Zealander”.

McGowan points out his organisation helped Lee get New Zealand citizenship late last year.

He’s also adamant they were not part of the criticism of the teenager’s under-performance in the Eisenhower Trophy.

“We’re certainly surprised at some of the comments that’ve been reported.

“Yes he did have a bad round at the Eisenhower – but there was never any blame from us.”

He believes it’s all part of the growing process for an 18 year old receiving the highest of accolades from around the world.

“It’s all about management, and how Danny and his parents decide to manage his professional career”.

Turning Pro has cost Lee automatic entry into the U.S and British Opens, that came with his U.S amateur triumph. He’ll now have to qualify for those great tournaments. But he’s given himself one crack at the Masters at Augusta National in April, before joining the weekly grind and possible riches with hundreds of other full time golfers. That’ll probably mean a dream pairing with Tiger Woods for the opening rounds.

It’ll also be the world number one’s comeback Major Championship, after urgent knee surgery and a 10 month layoff. If our Danny boy made the cut at the most elite of all the four majors, it would be the perfect transition from amateur to paid ranks.

He’s already impressed in among the

seasoned pros. He finished 20th at the Wyndham Championship on the PGA Tour in August and has made the cut in five of the six pro tournaments he’s accepted invitations to play at.

Anyone doubting Lee’s commitment to New Zealand, can chat with the locals at Springfield Golf Club in Rotorua, or check out his rush to become a New Zealand citizen.

He’s one of the frontline nominees for Sportsman of the Year at February’s Halberg Awards, alongside IndyCar champion Scott Dixon and Olympic boardsailing gold medallist Tom Ashley.

That’s some field.

Sure he has some growing up to do, but a talent this pure needs to be embraced by Kiwis. After all he’s the young man most likely to emulate Michael Campbell’s US Open triumph of 2005.

Mark Brown is the other Kiwi golfer likely to make an impression on the high profile golf tours in 2009.

The 34 year old’s fresh off his best ever year, kick-started by back-to-back tournament victories in India, including the prestigious Johnnie Walker Classic.

The Wellingtonian’s topped the Australian Tour’s order of merit, with earnings of close to $500 thousand. He’s also a regular on the European Tour, which is the only serious rival to America’s PGA Tour, for prize money, prestige and media coverage. Brown finished the year in encouraging fashion with a tie for 14th at the Volvo Masters of Asia.

His aim is to climb back into the world’s top 75, and feature in all four majors this year.

David Smail has crafted a lucrative career on the Japanese tour, and has hovered around the top 100 in the world golf rankings for the last eight years or so. He had a brilliant chance to make a name for himself at the Australian Open at Royal Sydney before Christmas, but blew a four shot lead on the run home.

The usually unflappable 38 year old lost his cool, on a hot Sunday afternoon, But you can be sure “Mr Ultra-Consistancy” will be more like himself in 2009.

Michael Campbell has been something of an enigma in the three years since his brilliant 2005 season. May be the tag of “former U.S Open champ” will haunt him forever. But there were signs Cambo was close to recapturing his confidence last year. He made the cut in the last two majors of the year and is talking up the state of his game for the New Year. Write him off at your peril.

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009 73

feel life | HEALTH

New Year’s drinks Claire Morrow endorses the elixir of life One has been perusing “get healthy in the new year” articles again. We ought, of course, get healthy, but we might lay off the reading. As if there were a competition for the number of bright shiny new cure-alls, the more expensive the better.

Sigh. Whether it be the latest superfood such as Goji Berries or the now forgotten wheat grass, it always seems that the more unhealthy a population becomes...the more new health fads appear.

Thing seemed to have moved on from the more usual ‘latest in weight loss’ to the ‘latest in detoxification’.

At the same time as the population becomes more unhealthy and fads come out at roughly the rate that protons whip around the Large Hadron Collider (when it works, that is), the more people seem to move away from the tried and true.

Medical results which have been proven so thoroughly and conclusively that people forget them as old hat.

Whether this be due to some obscure aspect of psychology or simply due to people being lazy, I cannot claim to know.

However the fact remains that people tend to prefer shortcuts over hard work, or even any form of work whatsoever.

Most people learn in high school that a significant percentage of the human body is comprised of good old fashioned water.

As a matter of fact, roughly 70% of your brain is composed of water along with 70% of your lungs and 83% or so of your blood.

Clearly, water is quite important for your health by basic logical deduction. However, many studies have shown that very few people drink the eight glasses of water recommended by doctors.

While I don’t have the studies to prove this conclusively, I am willing to bet one of my 74 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

favourite books that those very same people who buy the latest health fads do not follow this very basic piece of medical advice.

One of the main problems with health in Western societies today, is that people prefer fads over basics. For thousands of years now humans all over the world have worked out that drinking plenty of water, getting regular exercise and sunshine and eating your fruits and vegetables while avoiding too much fats and fried foods will generally mean that you’ll be quite healthy. That being the case it’s surprising that so many people choose to ignore this over more fashionable trends. Or not so surprising given popular culture today.

While there is substantiation in the research demonstrating that healthy people who don’t drink eight glasses of water a day won’t keel over and die, it is kind of missing the point. The human body – while occasionally being remarkably frail – is generally amazingly resilient and can tolerate all manner of abuse before it ceases to function. We get an awful lot of water from food and water based drinks such as tea. However, function does not equal optimum function. This is noticeable in summer in particular, where many of us walk around in the heat, knowing full well we are “a bit thirsty”. Mild dehydration is not disastrous for thy body, but one feels rather a bit better if one isn’t. And as far as simple, cheap (free!), healthy lifestyle resolutions go, it’s not a bad one. Simply put, if you try drinking those eight glasses of water a day, you may well notice an immediate improvement in the subtle functions of your physiology.

One of the long standing myths regarding water is that you shouldn’t drink while you eat, as this dilutes the stomach acid and

causes improper digestion. Not the case, as things turn out. The body is a remarkably fluid system and drinking small amounts of water while you eat helps to move things along nicely through the large and small intestines. Along with the digestion process adequate intake of water also aids in preventing constipation due to dehydration of the stool, and increased fluid intake is the most effective treatment for most cases of constipation.

If you find that your skin is a little dry and flaky try considering that it’s due to an internal rather than an external process.

By all means, moisturise, but consider that perhaps your skin is literally dry. The solution to something when it’s dry is generally to add water. Unsurprisingly, this can work for your skin as well.

While the debate between whether or not water is good for you in some magical way tends to rage back and forth, I remain sitting on the fence, but curious. The May 2002 American Journal of Epidemiology found that women who drank more than five glasses of water a day were 41% less likely to suffer a heart attack than women who drank less than two glasses a day.

As the majority of organic compounds tend to dissolve in water, and as blood is composed of at least 83% water, drinking more water might seem to be one the simplest ways to feel better. Especially when you consider drinking a glass of water in the morning to make up for the water lost during nighttime respiration.

While some studies do show that there is an immediate benefit to eating fresh food and drinking the adequate amount of water, if you expect to overcome the bad habits of a lifetime in five minutes you may find that you are mistaken. This is obviously something that you need to persevere with before you make a judgement. Studies have shown quite conclusively that most people embark upon new health regimes and then quit before the requisite time has passed before benefits will begin to appear. Hence the reason why most exercise machines advertised on late night television tend to languish in the attic unused while their owners continue to gain weight.

So my suggestion for new year’s health fads is to test out the free, safe ones, and test run them for a few months. Drink water, eat healthy fresh food, get more exercise.

Spend no money on magic “superfoods”, “healing juice” or “ab-blasters” this year and try the basics.

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Offer only available until June 30, 2009. Please send your cheque for $40 with full delivery details to: Pharma Health NZ Limited, PO Box 15 185, New Lynn, Auckland 0640 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009 75

feel life | ALT.HEALTH

Herbal extracts beating drugs in trials In our search to highlight promising alternative health products, there’s some highly positive news on the menopause and heart care fronts, writes Ian Wishart A natural herbal extract is back in the lead as a preferred option for treating menopause symptoms, after a two year stoush over its safety, possibly caused by rival pharmaceutical interests.

The herb in question is black cohosh, or specifically a key component of which (isopropanolic extract of the root stock of Cimicifuga racemosa) has been produced in concentrated pure form by a German pharmaceutical company, Schaper & Brummer, and marketed under the brand name Remifemin around the world.

When the synthetic drug-based Hormone Replacement Therapy received a bad rap several years ago over links to cancers and heart disease, menopausal women the world over scrambled for alternatives. Many of them, like soy or red clover, have not borne up under the strain of medical scrutiny and can officially be labeled under the category headings “useless” and “near useless”.

The one that’s come through with flying colours however is Remifemin, whose results – particularly in the early stages of menopause – have been as good in scientific trials as those achieved by expensive HRT. A 2005 study published in the Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology (Vol 105, No. 5, May 2005) found statistically significant improvements in mood, less anxiety and reduction in hot flushes in patients taking Remifemin, “in the same order of magnitude” as those on HRT. “Screening experiments with various human CNS receptors showed that black cohosh binds to serotonin and dopamine receptors,” reported the study.

Dopamine, of course, is the brain’s ‘feelgood’ chemical.

All of this, then, from a herbal extract available at pharmacies, and without the links to cancer and heart attacks that have plagued HRT. 76 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

But there has to be a catch, right? Well, it wouldn’t be a story without one. An Australian woman caused a minor media firestorm a couple of years ago with international ramifications by claiming black cohosh treatment had caused her liver damage. The Aussie hospital that treated her lent credence to her claims, but when later challenged to produce empirical data they couldn’t. What wasn’t disclosed in the media coverage was that the woman regularly consumed between three and four units of alcohol a day, five days a week, and was on multivitamins. A little known side effect is that Vitamin A – present in some multivitamins – can cause added liver damage when taken in conjunction with alcohol.

In other words, there was serious room for doubt about precisely what had caused the woman’s liver failure.

Whilst HRT has now been linked to thousands of cancers and cardiac events worldwide, black cohosh hasn’t. But the suggestion it might cause liver damage added more confusion and provided more reasons for menopausal women to get depressed about their plight.

Well, the good news is that the 2005 study of 304 women had found no evidence that Remifemin caused liver damage in the 136 women on Remifemin, compared to the placebo group. “Even in a 3-times higher therapeutic dose [than manufacturer’s recommendation] no clinically relevant changes were observed.”

Likewise, an Italian study (Firenzuoli et al, eCAM) published last year traced more than a hundred women who’d been on doses of 500-1000mg of Remifemin a day – up to 25 times higher than the standard dose of 40mg – and found no increase in liver [hepatic] disease.

“After EMEA’s official signal we have contacted all our patients using a C. racemosa rhizome [black cohosh] herbal extract

continuously from more than 12 months to verify possible hepatotoxic effects. We followed-up 107 women, and asked them by telephone (33/107) and/or after anamnesis and clinical examination (74/107) to undergo a blood sample examination. In all the patients there was no sign of hepatic disease, or worsening of already altered but stable parameters. We think on the base of these data and current literature C. racemosa rhizome extract should not be considered a potential hepatotoxic substance.”

Meanwhile, some more good news. With HRT linked to breast cancers, the North American Menopause Society ordered scientific testing on the leading alternative to HRT, the specific black cohosh extract used in Remifemin, and found in a study published January 07 that there was absolutely no increase in breast tissue cells among women on Remifemin.

So what’s the verdict in New Zealand?

Some menopause specialists, like Dr Anna Fenton, acknowledge the importance of black cohosh. A Herald article a couple of years back by Carroll du Chateau paraphrased Dr Fenton when it listed Remifemin under the “What works” heading: Remifemin, a quality-controlled, FDAapproved German product which raises serotonin levels in the brain. It has been available for 60 years, and six proper randomised, placebo-controlled, clinical trials show a response of between 60-80 per cent.”

It was the only natural product in the “what works” category, nothing else made the cut.

Yet, the Australasian Menopause Society, which covers Australia and New Zealand, remains dismissive of the now scientificallyproven Remifemin, continuing instead to push HRT as the best option for reasons best known only to themselves.

With the scientific studies suggesting efficacy out of the box, on a 40mg dose, equivalent to the best results of HRT, and dismissing claimed links to liver damage as untrue, it looks as though women going through the change once again have some options on the table worth looking at.

Readers of this column will recall we featured a product called Cardiomax last year, based on a specific chemical extract of the hawthorn plant. The news back then on Cardiomax’s success in treating heart disease was good, but now it’s even better.

The Cochrane Collaboration, an international medical study review regarded as “God” by New Zealand’s Ministry of

Health, has now released its own verdict on the Cardiomax hawthorn extract. “�������������������������������������� To be included, studies were required to state that they were randomised, double-blind, and placebo controlled, and used hawthorn leaf and flower extract monopreparations,” Cochrane reports in its abstract. In other words, only prime scientific trials were eligible for review.

Without revisiting old ground, Cochrane concludes, “there is a significant benefit in symptom control and physiologic outcomes from hawthorn extract as an adjunctive treatment for chronic heart failure.”

Patients not only had improved life outcomes, but enjoyed massive improvements in cardiovascular health and tolerance to exercise.

A major gathering of the world’s cardiologists was also delivered the results of another top-rung trial on Cardiomax’s secret hawthorn ingredient, WS 1442, reported in the SPICE study (published

in December in the European Journal of Heart Failure) which examined nearly 2,700 patients in a double-blind trial over two years. Nearly half of the patients had stage 3 heart disease: “Dr. Christian J. F. Holubarsch and his team saw a 20 percent reduction in cardiacrelated deaths among patients on WS 1442, extending patients lives by four months during the first 18 months of the study. The safety of the compound was confirmed by a lower number of adverse events among the study group than those on placebo.

“WS 1442 is safe in patients with more severe congestive heart failure and left ventricular ejection fraction lower than 35%.

It postpones death of cardiac cause after 18 months and sudden cardiac death in an important subgroup of patients”, said Dr. Holubarsch of Median Kliniken Hospitals in Bad Krozingen, Germany, and lead study author. “It is shown to be effective in postponing death due to cardiac cause

and does so safely.”

The beauty of Cardiomax, as previously reported, is that its benefits may be useful in helping prevent heart failure in the first place. Again, all from a natural plant, and available from a pharmacy near you.

Having said that, the Cochrane Collaboration paper recommends that people with serious heart conditions and on medication bring Cardiomax to the attention of their doctor first, so it can be introduced as part of a controlled regimen.

FOOTNOTE: for the sake of accuracy and avoidance of doubt, the scientific studies above apply not to the herbs black cohosh or hawthorn in general, but to specific chemical compounds in those plants that have been extracted and concentrated to enhance their efficacy, and tested under controlled medical conditions. Readers should not assume that ordinary generic health supplements containing those plants convey the same, or any comparable, level of benefit.

HEALTHBRIEFS Vapo Rub not recommended for infants u A U.S. study suggests the popular cold treatment Vicks Vapo Rub may create respiratory problems for infants and small children. The study by Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center, published in the journal Chest, found the menthol compound may stimulate mucus production and airway inflammation, which can have severe effects on infants or young children because of the small size of their airways. “The ingredients in Vicks can be irritants, causing the body to produce more mucus to protect the airway,” said Dr. Bruce K. Rubin, a professor in the department of paediatrics at Brenner Children’s Hospital, part of Wake Forest Baptist. “Infants and young children have airways that are much narrower than those of adults, so any increase in mucus or inflammation can narrow them more severely.” The report said Rubin’s findings support current labelling of the Procter and Gamble product, which indicates Vicks product should not be used on children under 2 years of age.

FDA warns of lidocaine risk u The U.S. Food and Drug Administration is warning of potentially life-threatening side effects of skin numbing products. The products, known as topical anesthetics contain lidocaine, tetracaine, benzocaine and prilocaine in a cream, ointment or gel. The FDA is concerned the anesthetic drugs, if used improperly, may cause life-threatening side effects, such as irregular heartbeat, seizures, breathing difficulties, coma or even death. The agency said two women died using topical anesthetics before laser hair removal. When skin temperature increases, the amount of anesthetic reaching the blood steam is unpredictable, the FDA said. The agency is advising consumers not to apply heavy amounts of topical anesthetic to large areas of skin and to avoid wrapping the treated skin with plastic wrap or applying heat from a heating pad to treated areas. When skin temperature increases, the amount of anes-

thetic reaching the blood stream is unpredictable and the risk of life-threatening side effects increases with greater amounts of lidocaine in the blood, the FDA said in a statement.

Tasers don’t cause heart attacks – study u Taser stun devices police use to subdue fleeing, belligerent or dangerous suspects play no role in fatal heart attacks, a U.S. university study says. The three-year study by Wake Forest University’s medical school found no links between the 50,000-volt weapons and fatal heart attacks, the researchers said in the Annals of Emergency Medicine, published by the American College of Emergency Physicians. The devices manufactured by Taser International Inc. are carried by more than two-thirds of U.S. police agencies. Tasers are controversial because some people hit by their electroshock projectiles were injured or died. “We finally have a real-world estimate of the risk associated with these weapons ... and we found that to be low,” study author Dr. William Bozeman said. “That’s important because these are violent encounters, and a small scrape or bruise is simply not the same as serious head injury or life-threatening internal injury,” he told the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel. Researchers from five medical schools reviewed 1,201 shock-arrest cases and tied three serious injuries and no deaths to the devices, the researchers said. They attributed the two deaths to a combination of prolonged struggles, drug abuse and preexisting medical conditions. Amnesty International said last month Taser shocks caused or contributed to at least 50 deaths in the United States between June 2001 and August 2008. Coroners attributed most of those deaths to other causes, such as drug intoxication or excited delirium, the human rights groups said. It defined excited delirium as a term often used to describe someone who is in an agitated or highly disturbed state.

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009 77

taste life travel

Visiting ‘Lemuria’ They’re beautiful, but isolated Madagascar’s habitats face a fight for survival, writes Georgia Tasker

ANTANANARIVO, Madagascar – Here are snapshots of Madagascar: On a night hike at the Perinet Reserve, an eastern rain forest, the sky was so full of stars it seemed as if we were transported away from earth and into them.

In the port city of Tamatave, a group of little boys maybe 5 or 6 years old were playing what seemed to be marbles using a seed and bottle caps. Nearby, four little girls were jumping rope, which was made of shoestrings tied together.

On a brutal straight-up climb on Nosy Mangabe, a rainforested island in the Bay of Antongil, we saw “Angraecum” and “Bulbophyllum” orchids, bird’s-nest ferns everywhere, leaftail geckos, poison “Mantella” frogs with yellow backs, fullgrown brown frogs ] of an inch long, black and white swallowtail butterflies and par78 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

adise flycatchers. Black and white lemurs came to our picnic of mangosteens and pineapples.

Madagascar, the world’s fourth largest island, is home to some of the most beautifully bizarre animals and plants on Earth that developed during 160 million years of isolation in the Indian Ocean.

It also is one of the places where conservationists are working feverishly to help save what remains on the island the size of Texas. Forests have been decimated by slash and burn agriculture and cattle pastures; rice paddies have replaced savannahs on the high plateau, leading to plant and animal extinctions.

After 1,500 years of kings, queens and conquest among clans, the French claimed the island in the 19th century. Independence came in 1960, but by 1975, a policy of isola-

tion and socialism caused the economy to collapse, leaving it one of the world’s most impoverished nations.

Despite this, the surviving ecosystems are enormously attractive to ecotourists because of their diversity and the creatures they contain. We dozen travellers had signed on to a natural history tour hoping to see as many of these Malagasy specialties as we could in 16 days.

We used the Hotel Colbert in the capital city of Antananarivo as a staging site, staying there three different times and flying to various parts of the 1,600-km-long island. Our accommodations ranged from the nicely-appointed Colbert, with marble bathrooms, to sparely furnished rooms with mosquito netting over the beds and lights that went out when the generators were turned off.

“Ringtail lemurs with raccoon-like face masks hopped on the porch, walked shamelessly into our room to investigate our luggage, lingered until they had to be shooed outside, then sat and watched us. They walk on all fours, their rears higher than their fronts, their tails held straight up or sometimes in a jaunty question mark

Getting anywhere in Madagascar is a mixture of misery and marvel. It took, for example, four hours to travel just 55 miles from Fort Dauphin on the southeastern coast to Berenty Reserve, the bestknown lemur destination in the country.

Over Highway 6 with potholes four feet in diameter, our van rose and fell like a ship in rough seas.

Along the way, we stopped briefly at quintessentially Malagasy sites. One was an Antanosy graveyard where wooden carvings portray images of the deceased’s life and cattle skulls attest to wealth as well as offerings made to ancestors. (Clansmen too poor to have enough cattle to sacrifice convert to Christianity on their deathbed.)

On this drive inland, Madagascar’s landscape did what it’s so famous for: It magically turned from green to brown, from

humid to arid as we crossed small mountains that took us from rainforest to spiny forest. There are so many varied ecosystems packed onto this island that it’s often called the Eighth Continent.

The spiny forest is home to such weird plants as pachypodiums, with their swollen, spine-covered trunks and topknots of leaves, and alluaudias or octopus trees, with long skinny “arms” and cactus-like plants with spines and funny little round leaves – a family of plants unique to this single area on this single island.

When finally we arrived at Berenty, we found simple bungalows with screenless porches, “en-suite” bathrooms, and a Welcome Wagon of small primates with orange eyes and black-and-white ringed tails.

Ringtail lemurs with raccoon-like face masks hopped on the porch, walked

shamelessly into our room to investigate our luggage, lingered until they had to be shooed outside, then sat and watched us.

They walk on all fours, their rears higher than their fronts, their tails held straight up or sometimes in a jaunty question mark.

We were interlopers, but these ringtails have been studied for 40 years and are habituated to having humans around, so digital cameras smoked as the lemurs nonchalantly played among us.

We were in ecotourism heaven.

Lemurs are the main draw for many tourists. But there are other splendours in the dramatic landscapes.

Chameleons here are the colours of gemstones and have eyes that swivel 180 degrees. A tomato frog is the colour of guess what. Baobab trees look as if they are upside down with their roots in the air. There’s a small beetle with a red body and a long neck like a giraffe, and a gecko with a fanciful leaf-like tail, the better not to see me, my dear.

Tree boas drape themselves in the crotches of trees. And the island is home to an orchid with a 30cm nectar spur called “Angraecum sesquipedale.” Charles Darwin correctly predicted, but did not live to see, that a moth would be found with a proboscis long enough to reach the nectar reward at the bottom of the spur and pollinate the flower in the process.

We saw another enormous moth one morning at the Vakona Lodge at the Perinet Reserve. Someone had placed him INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009 79

in a flower arrangement, where he was content to snooze, his long comet-like tail resting on petals of a torch ginger. Brilliant yellow with four reddish-brown eyespots on his wings, the comet is the largest of all luna moths.

The splendid isolation that produced all of this diversity ended about 2,000 years ago. Arriving from Indonesia, Polynesia and Africa, humans began felling the forests to plant rice and graze cattle, and habitat began to disappear.

Half a dozen lemur species no longer exist. The elephant bird no longer exists.

The pygmy hippo no longer exists. And the island bleeds its iron-red soil through its rivers to the oceans because most of the native trees, shrubs and grasses no longer exist. Islanders still cut the thicket-like spiny forests to make charcoal, graze their cattle among the rare spiny plants, and until just last year, regularly burned the hilly landscape of the north to grow crops.

It is the world’s 12th poorest country.

Because of that, our pre-trip information warned that things frequently do not follow the itinerary in Madagascar, and we found that true when the Air Madagascar pilots went on strike.

Within a day, we chartered a plane (our travel insurance covered the extra expense), arrived at Berenty, then were awakened at 5:30 a.m. the next morning to catch a different plane after Air Mad pilots settled.

We also revolted once as a group when the company tried to house us in a monastery where we’d share a bathroom. Our 80 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

guide got us quickly settled in the nearby Nature Lodge with individual bungalows and handsome restaurant.

Hiking in the preserves and parks can be tough, as they are often confined to mountainous regions (that can’t be used for agriculture) with steep, slippery, muddy trails.

Not everyone in our group could handle the trails, and one man broke his arm.

One of the toughest hikes was in the tsingy limestone formation, with a trail going straight up an outcrop of sharp ragged pinnacles. It was enormously satisfying to reach the top.

One of our most luxurious hotels was again not on the itinerary, but we lucked out on the island of Nosy Be off the northwest corner of the country. We lodged at Hotel Vanila – a five-star resort with three restaurants and four pools, frequented by vacationing French who come to sun and swim. On this tiny island, vanilla and ylang-ylang, flowers that are used in Chanel No. 5, are grown for export.

We hiked through Nosy Be’s last remaining forest and learned that a species of dracaena is used to stop haemorrhaging; the roots of the traveller’s tree make a pain killer and tea made from the flowers soothes a sore throat; bromeliad roots are used to cure worms; peas inside pods as large as softball bats called Borico are made into soup.

In the northeast, around Diego Suarez, where the rare baobab “Adansonia suarezensis” is coppery red, fibre from the fruit of exotic kapok trees is stuffed into pillows.

Cassava, sweet potatoes, cattle called zebu and chickens are mainstays of villages.

Raffia palms, when they grow in water, are protected from cutting. Raffia is used to weave baskets, mats and the hats that villagers love.

On the central plateau, Antananarivo is 1300 metres high and cool, but down at the heels and in need of spit and polish. Its buildings rise up hillsides, and, surprisingly, rice fields can be found in and around the city.

In every small town, weathered buildings sag, tin roofs rust, and trash is ubiquitous. Slash and burn agriculture still is practiced, mainly to plant rice fields that become unproductive after a few years.

Zebu pulling carts full of charcoal made from the dwindling supply of trees are regularly seen on the roads.

Yet at a Sunday market in Maroantsetra, men and women wear colourful hats, artfully display their fish or utensils or vegetables on cloth on the ground or in wooden

booths, and carry bright raffia bags.

Conservation organizations have been working for years to keep the remaining bits of this country from slipping into oblivion. Only 17 percent of the original vegetation remains (about 10 percent of the forests) and the population is growing at 3 percent a year. The good news is that in 2003, Marc Ravolomanana, Madagascar’s president, pledged to triple the amount of land in conservation areas by 2008, from 3 percent to 10 percent. A fund was set up to help manage the parks and preserves.

Last year, 2.5 million acres were added to the system.

If any place might benefit from ecotourism, it is Madagascar. It was an arduous trip, but I have a reminder of the value of the experience pinned above my desk: it’s a photo I took of a ringtail lemur leaning against the bungalow porch, hands clasped in front of him, looking directly at me.

IF YOU GO How u Wild Earth Travel (www. wildearth-travel.com) have comprehensive packages available.

When u We went during the dry winter season, which runs April through September. October to April is the rainy season. Cyclones are likely to occur from January to March.

More baby lemurs are seen in September and October, and the weather is not too hot. Birding is good in November. Orchids are more abundant in the rainy month of February.

Whales can be seen in Antongil Bay year-round.

What to Take u A passport and a 30-day visa are required.

Cash u Credit cards and travellers checks are not widely accepted. U.S. dollars are easily exchanged at the international airport in Antananarivo and at the Hotel Colbert.

Medicines u Fill all prescriptions, and take a First Aid kit that includes anti-diarrhoea medicine, bandaids, tweezers (to remove plant spines), betadine, sun screen, headache medicine, anti-itch medicine; mosquito repellent.

Malaria prophylaxis is needed.

Electricity u 220 Volt, so take the correct European round-plug adapters for those recharging batteries and hair dryers.

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INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009 81

taste life FOOD

The odyssey of Homer James Morrow’s cartoon devils get the best of him – and exact a rich price The reason why Homer Simpson remains such an enduringly popular character in our culture is because, despite his foibles, there is a little bit of the jolly yellow giant in all of us. Lazy, slothful, and gluttonous, he redeems himself by being loyal, loving and, when it counts, lucky. His single character internalises and resolves tensions that other cartoons require two or more figures to represent, broadening his appeal to make him a suburban everyman. This internal struggle is not as obvious as it is when we watch Bugs Bunny square off against Daffy 82 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

Duck, which we do with an uncomfortable if not often articulated understanding that while we would all like to be as nonchalantly happy, wealthy and wise as the bunny, too often we are very much the luckless duck. Our human flaws, our vices, our greed, our avariciousness, our very Daffyness both makes us want what Bugs has and keeps us from achieving it.

Or, in Homer’s case, eating it.

And because we are fallen creatures, there is no doubt that our inner hungry Homers, or greedy Daffys, get the better of us from

time to time. And lo my brothers and sisters I must confess that my hungry Homer got the better of me recently on a trip to the Hunter Valley – one of Australia’s popular wine regions a few hours drive outside Sydney – where I found myself staying in a pretentiously-titled “villa” in a resort that had all the charm of a retreat for communist party cadres. In North Korea.

Yet despite the anonymous concrete boxes sheltered by shrubbery straight out of a Charlie Brown Christmas Special and a golf course so wide and flat it looked like they had simply laid some turf over the 15,000ft runways at Kai-tak and punched a hole in it every few hundred yards, the place staked a lot of pride in its restaurant.

I was alone and without wheels this particular night and I didn’t have a lot of options for off-campus dining, so it was off to the very bright, very white, very open-kitchen, very mod, mess hall.

I mean “fine dining establishment”. My fellow diners consisted of equal parts middle-aged Korean couples who ate in silence (hmmm, maybe Kim’s inner circle has signing rights here?), young dolled-up local couples, and older Australian pairings where he had clearly spent so much time on the golf course and at the 19th hole and she so much time in the sun by the pool that neither really cared that they were being hit up for $42 for a basic steak.

Not really wanting to drop that sort of money – especially for meat that I suspected was as sub-prime as the times – on dinner for one, I was attracted by the buffet option offered by my waitress. She handed me a card listing the various dishes, and although it didn’t happen to mention a price for such delights as pasta a la steam tray, an antipasto platter including such delicacies as sliced supermarket ham, and lamb shanks, perhaps the least expensive and hardest to screw up cut of meat in history.

Understand, of course, that to a born and bred American such as myself, there are few sweeter words in the English language than “all you can eat buffet.” Second only to, “Congratulations, your multi-billion dollar Congressional bailout has been approved”, the phrase hits all the Homeric hot buttons: greed, sloth, the promise of limitless abundance traded off for dubious quality.

Of course I fell for it hook, line, and sinker – went back for four plates, in fact, in the same way a drunk attempts to drain the bar cart on an international flight in the interest of getting his money’s worth. But like a Congressional bailout, the taxpayer

was stuck footing the bill. Specifically this taxpayer, who had to fork over $80 for the privilege of this feast, including tip and a couple of glasses of so-so wine. Truly, if they had told me they were charging $59 for the basic buffet, I would have gone to bed hungry or ordered a pizza.

Does this mean that all buffets are a bad idea, and they should never be an entertaining option – whether at home our out and about? Absolutely not. (Though it does

mean one should avoid the Crowne Plaza in Cessnock, NSW.) Indeed some of my earliest food memories stem from family parties, watching hordes of grownups manage to balance plates and cutlery and drinks and so on without spilling a thing.

Of course, full buffet dinners may be a bit unwieldy, but there has to be a middleground in entertaining between the full slap-up dinner and the drinks party where everyone stands around and cleans out your

One of the best cookbooks to make it across my desk recently is Kate Heyhoe’s new “Great Bar Food At Home”, easily obtainable via Amazon.com. Here are a couple of treats from the book to whet your appetite.

each slice. Grill about 10 cm from the heat, for 5 to 7 minutes, until the pieces start to brown. Flip the rounds over and broil another 5 to 7 minutes, until the pieces are mostly cooked through and easily pierced with a fork, but not mushy.

4. Smear a bit of the sauce on each slice. Cover with the cheese, casually tearing the slices with your fingers to fit (pieces can overlap). Sprinkle the shallot over the cheese and top with the pecan pieces.

5. Grill for 3 to 5 minutes more, until the cheese softens and gently melts (watch closely so the pecans don’t burn).

If desired, garnish with fresh mint or basil, and serve.

Eggplant Pizzettes Eggplant rounds serve here as mini-pizzas, flavored with the smoky, sweet undertones of barbecue sauce, balsamic vinegar, and sun dried tomatoes.

Pecan bits, toasted on a blanket of melting cheese, add a satisfying, crunchy bite. For a bread-like complement, serve with long, thin grissini (Italian breadsticks), stuck in a tall, narrow glass.

You’ll need: 1/3 cup chopped dry-packed sun dried tomatoes 1/4 cup barbecue sauce (preferably a sweet, smoky one) 3 tablespoons balsamic vinegar 1 eggplant 1/4 cup basil oil, or extra virgin olive oil 250g sliced smoked provolone 3 tablespoons finely chopped shallot or red onion 1/4 cup finely chopped pecan pieces Choppped fresh mint or basil for garnish (optional) Method 1. Preheat the grill. Line a baking sheet with foil and lightly spritz with nonstick spray.

2. Stir together the tomatoes, barbecue sauce, and vinegar in a microwave safe container. Partially cover (to prevent splattering) and microwave on high 60 seconds, stirring half way through, to soften the tomatoes.

3. Slice the eggplant into 1 cm-thick rounds.

Arrange the slices in a single layer on the baking sheet. Brush the oil on both sides of

“21”-style crab cakes You’ll need: Vegetable Mixture 2 tablespoons olive oil 1 tablespoon minced fresh jalapeño 1/2 cup minced red bell pepper 1/2 cup minced onion 1/8 teaspoon sea salt, or to taste 1/8 teaspoon freshly ground white pepper, or to taste Crab Cakes 2 large egg yolks 2 tablespoons lime juice 1 tablespoon Tabasco sauce 5 tablespoons mayonnaise 2 tablespoons Dijon mustard 1 tablespoon chopped chives 2 teaspoons finely chopped cilantro 1-1/2 teaspoons finely chopped flat leaf parsley Pinch cayenne pepper 250g cooked crabmeat, in knucklesized chunks 1/2 cup soft breadcrumbs 1/4 cup Panko breadcrumbs, plus 1 cup

liquor cabinet and shares a couple of bags of chips and a wedge of brie between them before heading off into the night to argue about just who was flirting with whom.

Solution? The “bar food” party, which allows you to entertain more people for less money without worrying about your responsibility for anyone’s broken marriage vows or cleaning up the carpet after that dinner plate of rumaki didn’t quite balance on your mate’s partners knees. for breading 1/4 cup olive oil 3 sprigs lemon thyme 1 tablespoon unsalted butter Method 1. Prepare the vegetable mixture: Warm 2 tablespoons olive oil in an ovenproof skillet over medium-low heat. Add the jalapeño, bell pepper, onion, salt, and white pepper. Cook the vegetables (do not brown them), stirring occasionally, until translucent, about 5 minutes. Remove from the heat and let the vegetables cool.

2. Prepare the crab cakes: In a mixing bowl, combine the yolks, lime juice, and Tabasco and mix well. Add the mayonnaise, mustard, chives, cilantro, parsley, and cayenne and whisk well. Stir in the crabmeat and the vegetable mixture. Add the soft breadcrumbs, and 1/4 cup Panko crumbs. Mix well.

3. Set out four 3-1/2-inch ramekins. For each ramekin, line with plastic wrap, layer 2 tablespoons Panko crumbs in the bottom, followed by 1/4 of the crab mixture, and another 2 tablespoons Panko.

Pat the mixture down and seal tightly with the plastic wrap.

Refrigerate about 45 minutes until chilled, so the cakes keep their shape. Shake any loose Panko off before dropping the cakes into the skillet.

4. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F. Warm 1/4 cup olive oil in an ovenproof skillet over medium heat, until semi-hot (a few crumbs gently sizzle).

Carefully add the crab cakes to the pan, cook slowly for about 3-1/2 minutes, then turn them over. (Be gentle when you flip them. Their chunkiness makes them a tad fragile.) Add the thyme springs and butter to the pan, place in the oven, and cook for approximately 3-1/2 minutes, or until golden brown. Remove from the pan. Serve immediately.

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009 83

touch life > drive

Toyota pushing Prius hard 2010 Prius has tough act to follow, write Brent Snavely and Mark Phelan

The third-generation Prius, revealed at the Detroit auto show this month, has a tough act to follow, but Toyota executives and industry analysts say the company has a shot at reaching its sales goals because of the vehicle’s distinctive styling and impressive fuel efficiency.

The smaller Prius it replaces became the symbol for the whole class of hybrid vehicles and an emblem for environmental responsibility and fuel efficiency. The model faces far more competition this year as Honda and Ford introduce additional hybrid vehicles to their line-ups.

84 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

Toyota hopes to sell 400,000 of the vehicles globally by 2010, putting Prius sales at the level of the Toyota Camry, America’s bestselling passenger car. Consumers bought 436,617 Camrys last year.

Toyota also said it expects sales of the new Prius in its first full calendar year in the United States to reach 180,000 units.

This year, Honda plans to begin selling its Honda Insight hybrid for less than the price of the Prius, and Ford is adding the Ford Fusion and Milan hybrids to its hybrid offerings.

Toyota executives are basing their forecasts on expectations that fuel prices will increase over the long term, the leadership position

the company has staked out with the Prius and the fact that the vehicle is already the company’s third-best selling vehicle.

“More than 90 percent of current Prius owners said they intend to buy another Prius,” says Bob Carter, Toyota division group vice president and general manager.

Toyota promises that the new Prius will score an EPA rating of 50 mpg in combined city and highway driving, up from a combined EPA figure of 46 mpg for the current model.

Carter says it will be “the highest-mileage car sold in America.”

Tom Libby, senior director of sales and analysis for J.D. Power

and Associates, expects Toyota will sell 187,000 Prius cars in 2010.

“So we’re pretty much in line with Toyota,” Libby says. “Their claim of 50 mpg will be a big draw and a big help.”

Toyota sold 158,884 Priuses in 2008, according to Autodata Corp.

Toyota first began selling the Prius in Japan in 1997. It brought the vehicle to North America in 2000 and said the new Prius will reach showrooms by mid year.

The 2010 Prius is a fraction longer and about 2 centimetres wider than the previous model. Toyota promises increased cargo space in the hatchback because of a redesigned cooling system for the hybrid’s batteries. Rear legroom increases slightly because of redesigned front seatbacks.

The Prius’ looks remain instantly recognizable, but Toyota created a wedgier shape by moving the highest point in the roof 10 centimetres aft. A new grille features a big, unmistakable Toyota badge.

Eric Fedewa, vice president of global powertrain forecasts for CSM Worldwide, says it’s difficult for other manufacturers to design hybrid vehicles that look substantially different from the Prius. In order to obtain the desired fuel efficiency, manufacturers must design a very aerodynamic body, which winds up looking like the Prius.

Indeed, the design of Honda’s Insight was immediately compared with the Prius when photos were first revealed last year.

“More future vehicles will take the shape of the Prius,” Fedewa says. “They are going to continue to have a visual brand image.”

In addition to its hybrid system, the Prius adds new features including adaptive cruise control and a lane-departure warning system.

As an option, Toyota plans to offer a solar sun roof that automatically powers the ventilation system on hot days. It allows fresh air to circulate in the vehicle to cool the cabin, Carter said.

The air-conditioning won’t have to work as hard and cuts back on battery use.

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009 85

touch life > toybox

JVC KD-AVX77 receiver The single-din receiver’s 5.4” ultra-wide monitor is constructed with a high-resolution 192,000 pixel TFT panel capable of over thousands of display colors. This TFT panel can display aspect ratios up to 3:32:1 for a super-wide Cinemascope viewing experience. The ultra-wide monitor can also display multimedia video content and rear-view camera vision at the same time in split screen mode. The KD-AVX77 features the most advanced Ultra-Wide Viewing Angle LCD format free of screen glares, making the monitor clearly visible from every viewing angle. Another new feature is full-touch screen capability, which allows the entire TFT panel to dual-task as the receiver’s control panel. This receiver also features a built-in electrostatic proximity sensor, which illuminates the screen when the user approaches it with their hand. Rather than limiting the proximity sensitivity by utilizing an IR sensor, this electrostatic feature ensures that users can approach any location on the faceplate with their hand to activate the proximity sensor features. Other new monitor features of the KD-AVX77 include the world’s first layout selectable GUI; allowing users to customize their favorite “key” types, colors, background design, or upload their favorite JPEG pictures onto the screen to further personalize the display. www.jvc.co.nz/

Pentax Optio P70 The Optio P70 packages outstanding core features – such as an optical 4X zoom lens, approximately 12 effective megapixels for super-high-resolution images, and a large, easy-to-view 2.7-inch color LCD monitor – into a high-quality metallic housing. It has been designed to be extremely compact, with a body as thin as 16.5 millimeters in some sections, despite its incorporation of such advanced features as an optical 4X zoom lens with a 27.5mm wide-angle coverage and an extra-large LCD monitor. This compact body was the result of PENTAX’s advanced technologies, including a lens unit featuring a newly designed “Sliding Lens System,” thorough downsizing of all parts, and space-efficient highdensity mounting technology. As a result, the Optio P70 is compact enough to carry anywhere and on every occasion – even on short daily strolls. www.pentax.com

86 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

Canon LEGRIA HF S10 Canon has announced a new generation of High Definition (HD) flash memory camcorders: the professional-standard LEGRIA HF S-series. Combining several unique and highly-advanced imaging technologies, the LEGRIA HF S10 and LEGRIA HF S100 represent a true breakthrough for HD recording – enabling videographers to take their moviemaking to new heights. The award-winning Canon HD Camcorder System has been updated and redesigned specifically for the LEGRIA HF S-series. Combining an 8.0 Megapixel Full HD CMOS sensor, a genuine Canon HD Video Lens with a 10x optical zoom, and the new DIGIC DV III processor, image capture size is almost three times greater than Full HD resolution – providing the ultimate in image quality. With an extensive set of professional-level controls and features, the LEGRIA HF S10 and LEGRIA HF S100 are equally suited to high-end consumers or professional movie sets. www.canon.co.uk

Benq Joybook Lite U101 From keyboard size, keystroke endurance, scratch resistance, weight, and emoticon design to 10.1” LED backlit screen, 16:9 perfect aspect ratio, 8ms screen response time, HDD and SSD supported hard drive storage capacity, internet connectivity, battery efficiency, intuitive user interface, high quality speakers and many more, BenQ has perfected them all – insisting to give you the best mini notebook experience ever! Weighing at 1.1kg, U101 is built with a 3-cell battery to keep things light and easy for you! Just toss this nifty notebook in your bag and get ready for the road! A keyboard that’s 90% of standard Qwerty size is just what’s needed to perfect every touch! Typing is so much more enjoyable with the extra space! The Joybook Lite U101 is HDD and SSD supported to give you the best of both worlds – the massive storage capacity of HDD and the stability of SSD! Now you can store and protect all your music, movies and photo downloads with no problem at all! www.benq.com

Kingston 64GB Data Traveler 150 DT150 offers the largest capacity in Kingston’s entire line of DataTraveler USB drives and allows users the room and flexibility to backup important hard drive contents, and transport and share complete collections of music, videos, photos and documents in one convenient device. Kingston’s DataTraveler 150 is fully compatible with Windows Vista, XP and Windows 2000 as well as Mac OS X 10.3 (and above) and Linux 2.6 (and above). The DT150 carries a fully guaranteed five-year warranty and 24/7 tech support. www.kingston.com

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009 87

see life / pages

Going feral A humid Christmas results in Michael Morrissey’s feistiest column in a long time SOMEBODY: The Reckless Life and Remarkable Career of Marlon Brando

By Stefan Kanfer Faber and Faber, $60 The magic of Marlon lives with us still thanks to his film legacy and this well-written non-tabloid style biography that refuses to dwell on sleaze – never hard to sniff out when it comes to most Hollywood stars (Paul Newman was a happy exception).

Compared to prolific male stars like Jack Palance or John Wayne, Brando’s film total was modest. And many of his films made in the sixties were flops. We are left with a handful of his magnificent critical and box office successes – A Street Car Named Desire, Julius Caesar, The Wild One, On the Waterfront, The Godfather, Last Tango in Paris, Apocalypse Now. In the long run, it’s the masterpieces that matter, not the flops.

Brando was the son of a neglectful alcoholic mother and a successful salesman father who spent little time at home and gave his children two hugs a year. In his younger years, Brando was cruel to small animals then suddenly for no apparent reason – in Saul/ Paul fashion – started being kind to everyone – helping old people cross the street, going out with ugly cross-eyed girls that no one one else would date and also befriending blacks when most of America was strictly segregated. Brando was to be politically courageous for most of his life. By this time, Brando was astonishingly handsome with a soft look that appealed to both sexes. When his nose got broken and the surgery was botched some said that the flaw was an enhancement – prior to his injury he was too unbearably handsome. Also he had a stammer which may have explained his subsequent famous mumble – or was that Method Acting?

Brando began his acting by discovering he had a gift for impersonation. Later, he had his first big break through playing A Streetcar Named Desire on stage and then to a worldwide audience via the film of the same name – and it still looks good today.

While the 70s generation will forever remember his portrayal of Don Corleone in the mellow colour-rich The Godfather, an earlier generation will remember On the Waterfront or A Streetcar Named Desire as his great black and white classics. The interchange 88 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

between him and his corrupt brother played by Rod Steiger was one of Brando’s great improvisations. These spontaneities were often hated by fellow actors, though directors often relished these improvised performances, especially when they enriched the characters Brando was playing.

The husky five feet ten actor was no choirboy in his private life and like so many Hollywood stars had several marriages. When Brando and his crew were shooting the third remake of Mutiny on the Bounty, many found amours with the locals and subsequently paid the price of sexual freedom by contracting VD. In later life, Brando became obese and refused to be shot from the waist down.

As an in-depth sober look at the most charismatic actor of our time, this book is well worth reading.

HARMONIC

By Stephen Oliver Interactive Press, $28 Let us look at the strange case of Stephen Oliver. It is an improbable tale but alas a true one much repeated in New Zealand cultural life. The gifted must seek cunning, exile and make dazzlingly bright overseas noises to survive and thereby thwart extinction by the candle-snuffing dodo drones that wander the groves of academe like pallid ghosts. Mark Williams, dinosaur-in-residence at the University of Canterbury, once a habitat of Gothic beauty now a greying collection of sterile modernist boxes, bolted to the reclaimed swamps of pancake-flat Christchurch (a fatuously conceited burg that once imagined it was the Arts Capital of New Zealand and managed to make a case for being its poetry capital until Glover and Curnow departed for more stimulating cities) springs prominently to mind.

Oliver is a poet of great gifts and high productivity – fifteen volumes to date – a poet who has probably published more widely in prestigious overseas poetic journals than any other contemporary New Zealand poet, yet had to leave Aotearoa some two decades ago for Australia because he received virtually no recognition here. To be fair, the Dionysian excesses of the poet’s rambunctious personality may have caused the timid and the politically correct to flinch

a tad. Oliver estranged from himself from some powerful members of the literary constabulary – always, despite vigorous forelock tugging in the direction of anti-Vietnam marches, anti-Tour marches, feminism by any other name and any other hot causes to the contrary – quite a conservative lot. By that, I mean left wing conservative. But shouldn’t poets be on occasion boisterous bards and not hair parted-in-the-middle lackey accountants?

Oliver has recently returned to these shores and continues to write and publish from the King Country, sometimes with Australian publishers, sometimes with bolder local publishers such as Titus Books. Do we deserve his presence? Frankly, based on our treatment of him – no. Poetically speaking, he is the equivalent of Len Lye returning at the peak of his powers. Thus, once more he dwells among us, and for that we should be grateful. The necessary exile of Oliver in order to survive was a cultural disgrace. We need poets like Oliver in New Zealand – not marooned across the ditch. But Australia has always been enriched by the great TransTasman literary drift – Ruth Park, Douglas Stewart, Eric Beach, Gary Langford, Mark Young, Rosie Scott and so on. We have no Australian writers of note or if we have they have passed me by.

So the current only runs one way – out.

While Allen Curnow, James K. Baxter and Kendrick Smithyman are indisputably our greatest poets – all deceased – our best living poets could include (say) Ian Wedde, (an aggressively laid back apostrophic hipster who has agreeably mellowed); Michael Harlow (a learned Jungian therapist with a mellifluous Greek-AmericanEuropean voice); Dinah Hawken, (a scorchingly elegant poetess full of ravishing images wondrous shifts and surprises); Anne French, (who hectically and with biting wit complains of being evaded); Bill Manhire (an urbane raconteur of life’s small epiphanies); Gregory O’Brien, (a gloriously surreal over-the-top Catholic with whirling dervish metaphors); Leigh Davis, (the richest and most teasingly quirky of the local language poets); Geoff Cochrane (our greatest master of euphonious aural effects); Elizabeth Smither (as bookish as Borges but a trifle combustible); and Tony Beyer (another largely unrecognised talent and arguably our best living poet who has mastered the punctuationless triple-lined stanza and run on/dropped line of Creeley and William Carlos Williams like no one else); Wystan Curnow (a former minimalist who has roped in Kandinsky and a host of other modern greats in a startlingly joyously collection Modern Colours, easily the finest book of poetry published here in the last few years); and of course – last, but singularly not least, the extraordinarily robust Stephen Oliver whose ouevre merits an overdue PhD to unravel the “gold bullion” of its referential complexities.

And dare I mention the reviewer, whose work was scrupulously analysed by Dr John Horrocks in Alister Paterson’s magazine Poetry New Zealand (Issue 37) wherein the poetically gifted are discovered and celebrated. Paterson’s great strength as an editor is that he deals with a fair hand to all who submit poems and doesn’t just publish his mates – which is generally the way with the Wellington crowd.

Meanwhile, theory-maddened “poets” like Michelle Leggott constantly hog the limelight with their strained efforts and Parnell pastichers such as C.K. Stead are air-lifted by an easily punctured helium balloon of ill-deserved verse fame. (His prose is another story.) With Oliver, you get the real thing – philosophic-poetic power, acute and wry observations, verbal magic and metaphors as fresh as gouts of blood.

His language is strong – it’s intoxicatingly and shamelessly

masculine, at times reminiscent of the resonances in the voice of Shakespeare. Naturally, it lends itself to being read aloud. And Oliver has the best reading voice in the country. He sounds like Richard Burton in a timbre-enhancing echo chamber, until you realise with shock that this awesome bass-baritone is his voice – it really is that rich and deep. Indeed, unsurprisingly, Oliver makes his living doing voice overs.

Note the pleasing echoes of Gerald Manley Hopkins in the wonderful lines, “Welcome to this morning’s minion” or “gold bullion sunrise” and the tribute-adapted echoes of T.S Eliot in “August is the windiest month”. Such echoes show that Oliver knows the tradition (as Curnow would and did say) unlike contemporary prose-chopping poetasters who are doing their consummate worst to turn the rich green sap of poetry into wheat biscuit-dry particle board from which they can construct dismal chicken coops filled with camel ordure – if only their waste material was Fairburnian compost!

Though predominantly a philosophic and sensuous poet, Oliver does not shrink from noting contemporary political horrors such as the bunker buster bombs which reduce their hapless victims to a ‘pink mist’. What can one do with such a lovely line as “the crickets press doorbells into evening” but admire it and wish that you had thought of it? Oliver’s language is a species of Berkelian refutation. The idea that language alone is the business of poetry is an indolent third rate form of solipsism. Language is linked to the quotidian and Oliver’s is muscularly terrestrial. It expresses the wonder of natural things and that is primarily why we read poetry – to have our sense of the physical world revitalised through language. This is why we read Curnow, our greatest poet, and what Oliver’s poetry also realises in comparably rewarding abundance.

Language perpetually separated from the physical world becomes rudderless and self referential, a sort of metaphysical navel fluff that needs to be flushed out by the gaudy astringency of Oliver’s spiky yet lyrical poetry.

The earlier dense forests of complex syntax and aggressive risktasking prose poems to be found in such a splendid collection as Either Side The Horizon have given way to sparer savannahs, studded with leaner-branched acacias. But assuredly the vigorous and fearless leonine sound of Oliver’s voice remains in full magnificent roar. I suggest the timid politically correct gazelles (as numerous as household ants) and stampeding zebras (the culturally panicky) not to mention the vultures (alas, always hovering) and the hyaenas (assuredly always carrion-crunching) pause to listen and feast. It will cure their poetic anorexia.

DREAMBOAT DAD

By Alan Duff Random House, $34.99 How the mighty have fallen! Back in 1990, the completely unknown Alan Duff burst onto the scene like a vibrant volcano (indeed one might say like a Waiwera geyser at full bore) with his first novel Once Were Warriors. It was a bravura performance – torrential, powerful and justifiably gave the author instant literary fame and high sales. The equally powerful film – a triumph for actors Temuera Morrison and Rena Owen – helped boost the sales of an already successful book. By rumour, and very possibly supported by fact, Duff achieved a six figure income for several years. Considering he was not an internationally published Mills & Boon author, this was an extraordinary achievement.

INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009 89

I haven’t read the subsequent two novels that complete the trilogy but a colleague I respect says they are also of high merit and comparable vitality. Duff published a couple of lesser works then went quiet for a while. The media beat-up grapevine informed us that Duff was recently headed for bankruptcy and owed three million bucks. I didn’t feel that sorry for the once rich now impecunious author, because writing income is highly variable and Duff should have known better than to financially over-reach himself. Also, alas to report, when I ran into the author carrying a large bundle of fish and chips from a North Shore Takeaway, he addressed me in an abrasive patronising fashion. He treated me as though as I a junior on the playground. Now it’s my turn to kick the Duffian shins. Poetic justice, Alan!

I have heard that Duff doesn’t handle criticism very well and generally assumes a pugilistic stance towards perceived adversaries. Still to give him his due, Duff has done wonderful things for the education of young Maori through his Books in Homes programme and indeed this may be his lasting claim to fame. Books, unfortunately, have to compete with that pervasive book-butcherer, the Internet. The vibrancy of style and technique in Once Were Warriors was not original though was perceived as such by naive critics like Graeme Lay. It’s hard-boiled stream of consciousness technique was adapted from Last Exit From Brooklyn by Hubert Selby Jr, an influence that Duff has freely acknowledged.

And why not? Adaption or – to use the varsity term – appropriation, of other people’s fictional modes is an acceptable fictional strategy. But unfortunately Duff has not progressed and this latest novel is a relapse into sentimentality – that soft underbelly of Maori writing which so often manifests in such writers as Ihimaera and Grace (not to mention the grotesquely over rated Keri Hulme) and which Once Were Warriors so vigorously avoided. But to take a reverse view, if I blink shut my more emotionally-hardened pakeha eyes, Maori writing is full of heart. Which is why one of Duff’s novels is called What Became of the Broken-Hearted? Rather than being the Hubert Selby Jr of Aotearoan writing, Duff has now become its James Baldwin. Whether consciously or unconsciously, I cannot be sure. If you let the flow take you along, if you allow yourself to whitewater raft the Huka falls of his current writing, you will enjoy the ride. But if you upstream it in a gin palace, it will seem a mite soft even wet around the sides, if not in the middle. The reader must choose.

If Duff is endeavouring to write his way out of debt – he will need an international hit, not just a local one. He will need to work much harder at his craft and not coast along on familiar turf.

Since his first well-executed novel drew literary adrenalin from a competent American author, perhaps he should consider some other inspirational American and overseas models – Philip Roth, for instance, with his powerful rages and high moral indignation or the stunningly brilliant Indian maestros like Aravind Adiga or Vikram Chandler, now writing the finest and most vigorous novels on the literary landscape. If Alan follows my advice and succeeds – i.e. writes himself out of debt – my koha fee for this fruitful suggestion is really quite modest – ten per cent of the three million. Let it be noted that the ten per cent is somewhat less than the customary fee greedy literary agents demand.

Critics hostile to famed novelist Graham Greene used to complain about a fictional terrain called Greeneland – a morally dark seedy world that the author was prone to revisiting too frequently.

In parallel, one could say that there is such a thing as Duffville.

The characters live in a State Housing block near a thermal region, 90 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

drink too much and bash their missus. The central protagonist is Maori, violent in both domestic or pub environments and of course must learn to acquire responsibility for his own actions and not fall back on racial stereotyping to accord blame. Fair enough.

But the writing, despite a confident shifting of multiple first person point of view narrators, lacks the energy and verve of Once Were Warriors. In Dreamboat Dad’s favour it is well-researched and I was fascinated to read that Maori soldiers picked up Italian arias though not, I gather, German ones.

Dreamboat Dad is set soon after the Second World War when more than one child born here had an American father. Yank is the hybrid product of Maori woman Lena Takahe and Jess, an American marine who turns out to be black – a dramatic revelation for “Yank”, for he expected his American Dad to resemble the giant white-skinned Jap-slaying Yankee ‘heroes’ he has seen in comic books.

This surprise reversal is a fictional echo of Duff’s own mixed ethnicity – he is the son of Kuia Hinau, (of Ngati Rangitihi and Tuwharetoa descent) and Gowan Duff, a scientist and the grandson of Oliver Duff, a former editor of the Listener. For a time, he stayed with his uncle Roger Duff, a distinguished anthropologist. This rich ancestral mix has bestowed an enormous advantage on Duff giving him a rocket-boosted takeoff that he was surprisingly slow in taking advantage of. (And the same could be said of Charlotte Grimshaw whose meteoric rise to minnow in a small pond must have been as challenging as a millionaire cruising America in a Pullman carriage.) The fact that Duff got into trouble with the law at an early age is even better – it gave him first hand experience of life at the lower end of society’s strata which richly interfused with his culturally elite pakeha whakapapa. For Duff, to become a writer must have been as easy as falling off a punga log.

Duff, a vigorous moralist, who obviously seeks redemption for his characters, has Lena find a more gentle husband than the wifebashing Henry, and the drinkers learn the value of sobriety but their renewal seems a mite contrived, a tad two-dimensional. While Dreamboat Dad will find fans among Duff loyalists, it has the feel of overworked territory. He needs to leave the hot pools behind and venture into wider, deeper more international waters.

I could be wrong about this, of course. Duff could uncork another masterpiece set in Pine Block or Waiwera but don’t the geysers only blow for a while then lose their gush?

An international masterpiece is presumably needed to square off Duff’s financial crisis but I seriously doubt that he has the talent. He desires greatness of course but desire isn’t enough. Gabriel Garcia Marquez, the world’s greatest living writer, transmogrified and metamorphosed Aracataca into Macondo – can Duff do the same for Waiwera? How hot is that geyser? Can it keep blowing?

TIM SHADBOLT: A Mayor of Two Cities

By Tim Shadbolt Hodder Moa $49.99 I am old enough to remember Tim Shadbolt’s famous “Jumping Sundays” when hippies, radical students and miscellaneous longhaired lefties would gather in Albert Park to hear the youthful and charismatic budding politician address the crowd with compelling fluency. It struck me then, as it still does, that Shadbolt’s volubility is almost at the level of a personality disorder – he cannot stop talking or smiling.(Indeed, he once put his non-stop talkativeness to impressive use by setting a world record for a political speech

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INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009 91

Cre8ive 4220D

– 32 hours.) The permanent rictus is so perpetually plastered into place it seems to belong to an amiable gargoyle that cannot assume any other expression.

Bloated with self congratulation, his voice has matured into an obese parody of the younger leaner tones of yesteryear suggesting a fairground huckster selling time shares or snake oil. In short, his oratory, if we may call it that, is more style than substance lacking in the fiery and convincing idealism of a Martin Luther King or a Barack Obama or the pungently quotable wit of David Lange.

Nonetheless, Shadbolt is undeniably full of flamboyant ideas and has successfully transformed Invercargill into a place that is somehow very much on the map, rather than sliding off it into the vicious currents of Foveaux Strait. Instead of seeming remote, Invercargill now seems proximate and exciting. For this mysterious geographic paradigm shift, Shadbolt deserves full credit.

And when you compare (say) the humour bypassed John Banks, now alas, re-elected mayor of Auckland, Shadbolt has the glamour of a fading yet still charismatic rock star whereas Banks seems like a fussy accountant who has blundered too far away from the board room into a limelight that doesn’t quite suit (though his suits are always immaculate) .

Also, I must regrettably report that the lively punchy writing that Bullshit and Jelly Beans cheerfully possessed, written decades ago when Shadbolt was a lean young pup with sexy curls, has lost much of its fizz ...”life has been a wonderful journey of discovery ...” yawn, yawn. The story of the famous – or was it notorious?

– Huia commune doesn’t make for very fascinating reading and I suspect a fuller account is needed.

The photographs reveal a not so subtle subtext. Miriam Cameron, former wife of Shadbolt, and mother of two of his children, now a painter with a rising if not considerable reputation, is shown in a small soft focus photo that almost resembles a tinted postcard, her features so miniaturised it would be difficult to recognise her if you passed her in the street. The accompanying photo-text says, “Our lovely little family”, which in context has an almost sarcastic ring.

In the family photo, Cameron wears a homey blue jumper while Asha, his current partner, a ravishing Indian beauty, is shown in full gaudy technicolour with a cleavage that plunges to her navel.

A mayoral occasion? Well, yes, it was the World premier of The World’s Fastest Indian, so I guess all is sartorially permitted (even nude navels). Cameron is also the object of some unflattering heavy artillery in the text. Reading between or through the lines, it is seems that some old grievances are being settled.

There’s no doubt Shadbolt has the common touch – what other mayor has mixed concrete and had over 40 convictions for civil disobedience? Shadbolt’s career like those of (say) Pansy Wong, (first New Zealand Asian MP), Nandor Tanczos, (world’s first Rastafarian MP), Sue Bradford (High Priestess of Unemployed) and Georgina Beyer (the world’s first transsexual mayor), is proof that New Zealanders are broadminded, tolerant, down to earth and full of good humour – and what’s more, approve of these qualities in their politicians. If all the world’s politicians were cut from the same cloth as these counter-cultural/alternative/flamboyant eccentrics, the world would be a more colourful and arguably better place. Being part of this legacy – despite the failing of being more showman than statesman – makes Shadbolt a gift not only to Invercargill but to the nation. Tim, you’ve finally put a smile on my face (nowhere as muscular as yours) but I draw the line at mixing concrete. If I ever make it to Invergiggle, I’ll buy you a beer and let you blow the froth.

see life / music

A kiwi debut Chris Philpott reports favourably on a debut NZ album from The Mots The Mots The Mots When it comes to Kiwi rags-to-riches stories, it doesn’t come much more intriguing than The Mots.

Formed from the remnants of local groups Gasoline Cowboy and Motocade, The Mots – made up of brothers Jolyon, Wil, and Eden Mulholland, and bassist Greg Hillier – formed in May 2008 and got a big boost when they were asked to support prodigy Liam Finn in a sold-out show at Auckland venue The Powerstation.

Fast forward six months, and the group are putting the finishing touches on a debut, self-titled album through major label Universal. The album itself expertly combines any number of influences, from folk-rock to 1980s ska-punk to the falsetto-based balladry of Evermore; the guitar work of brothers Eden and Jolyon is notable, forming a solid basis to the 11 tracks presented here.

Second-track “500 Years” gets things moving along, leading into the slower, but no less impressive, “Here Lies The Devil”, its quirky acoustic guitar riffage providing the perfect backing for a catchy, easy-to-follow vocal line, before giving way to rocker “Halfway Through Making Myself ”.

All in all, with less than 6 months work The Mots have formed, written and released one of the better Kiwi albums of last year, proving that sometimes good things don’t take time.

All-American Rejects When The World Comes Down I know what you’re thinking – ‘where have I heard that name before?’

One of the most played bands on radio, the All-American Rejects hit big in 2006 with the release of their second album, Move Along, and the radio success of singles “Dirty Little Secret”, “It Ends Tonight” and the albums’ title track, which succeeded on both rock radio and mainstream-pop radio around the world.

December saw the release of their follow-up, When The World Comes Down, produced by Eric Valentine (Third Eye Blind, Smash 92 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

Mouth, Queens of the Stone Age, Good Charlotte), behind the release of radio hit single “Gives You Hell” in September, a full 3 months ahead of the album.

This release gets off to a quick start with opener “I Wanna”, a piece of fast-paced pop-rock that sets the tone for the record, while smatterings of piano, such as on “Fallin Apart”, and acoustic-based ballads like “Mona Lisa” prove the groups musical chops.

Aforementioned single “Gives You Hell” is definitely the best track here, but the album’s brisk pace and Tyson Ritter’s excellent vocal work make When The World Comes Down more than just a pop album – this is laid-back rock at its best, and should form a decent soundtrack to summer.

Glasvegas Glasvegas Named for a play on the name of their hometown, Glasgow, combined with Las Vegas, Scottish alt-rock group Glasvegas are another group who released a high-profile, critically acclaimed debut towards the end of 2008.

Formed in 2003 by frontman James Allan – himself a former professional soccer player with Scottish Premier League club Gretna FC – the group spent several years touring and refining their sound, before settling down with producer Rich Costey (the man behind work by Muse, Franz Ferdinand and Interpol – all reviewed in this column previously) to make their debut, self-titled record.

The group also released a Christmas-themed followup titled A Snowflake Fell (and it Felt Like a Kiss).

Glasvegas draws heavily on the indie-pop sound made famous by peers Snow Patrol and Bloc Party – jangly, almost repetitive guitar work combines with a deep, rumbling drum sound to form the core of tracks like opener “Flowers and Football Tops” and first single “Geraldine”, while Allan’s thick Scottish augments each track, the singer spitting out almost libretto-style vocal work.

Therein also lies the problem, as Allan’s thick accent makes the lyrics unintelligible at times – and when you consider that in combination with the generic indie sound, the result is a lessthan-engaging record.

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see life / movies

Fuhrer interrupted, mother interrupted Roger Moore finds the Valkyrie plot against Hitler unmissable, and enjoys seeing Angelina Jolie back in a psych ward Valkyrie Starring: Tom Cruise, Bill Nighy, Terrence Stamp, Kenneth Branagh Directed by: Bryan Singer Rated: TBC 114 minutes An unfussy, adult and stoic Tom Cruise anchors the World War II thriller Valkyrie. In a compact performance of nerve and rare glimpses of emotion, Cruise is a leading man who takes us through a complex story, and ennobles and personalizes events that have now almost faded into history.

This Bryan Singer film is about the most famous attempt by Germans to kill the Fuehrer who led the world into war and Germany into horror. And it is about the man at the centre of that conspiracy, Claus von Stauffenberg. He was an army officer from German nobility, that rare man with the resolve, “tenacity and determination,” historian Roger Moorhouse says in his book, Killing Hitler, to carry out an attempted coup to “save Germany.”

Valkyrie introduces the principals – civilians struggling to find a way to seize control of government from a military dictatorship, Wehrmacht officers appalled by the “stain” the mass murderer Hitler had brought to the Army.

“We have to show the world that not all of us were like him,” longtime plotter Major General Henning von Tresckow (Kenneth Branagh) reminds the others.

Despite taking an oath of loyalty to Adolph Hitler himself, Army officers were willing to attempt assassinations, especially after the war turned unwinnable. Von Stauffenberg, a Nazi hater 94 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

early on, lost an eye, a hand and fingers in service to his country.

But he was driven to feel he had one last duty he could perform for Germany.

Singer (The Usual Suspects, X-Men) ably handles the story’s ticking-clock elements, the many attempts that failed, the rising stakes as the conspirators risk discovery and certain execution. The final attempt is filmed crisply in a way that hides the outcome even as the coup unfolds. Christopher McQuarrie’s script gives us distinct personalities, even if we’ve never heard of them. There’s the dithering general (Bill Nighy), the brave figurehead (Terrence Stamp), the opportunist in charge of the Home Guard (Tom Wilkinson) and the mysterious “inside man” (Eddie Izzard) who may or may not help when the chips are down.

But the movie sorely needs that conversion moment, the “kill everyone” orders that tarred the army with the same civilian-murdering brush that the SS had. What resistance there was in the German military was born in those massacres. The film introduces von Stauffenberg’s wife (Carice van Houten of Black Book), and small children, letting us see what he has at stake. But it lacks the sense of desperation as they raced the clock trying to separate the nation and its people from the public face that the world was united to destroy.

The historian David McCullough has often said that we must remember that the people taking part in great events don’t have our gift of hindsight. They don’t know how things will turn out.

That informs Cruise’s performance as Stauffenberg. He isn’t a fatalist, sprinting toward his doom. He is pragmatic, a pokerfaced gambler willing to risk all because he’s sure of himself and his abilities and he likes his odds.

In Cruise’s hands, von Stauffenberg comes off as a very human window into this history and this engrossing and involving movie.

Changeling Starring: Angelina Jolie, John Malkovich, Amy Ryan Directed by: Clint Eastwood Rated: TBC 140 minutes Angelina Jolie, who won her Oscar by playing mentally ill in Girl Interrupted, returns to the psyche ward for Clint Eastwood’s Changeling, a movie he might have titled “Motherhood Interrupted.” It’s a period piece, a true-crime mystery and a slice of history, vintage Eastwood in many ways. If the film is too long and a little unwieldy in its later acts, the consummate craftsman in Eastwood glosses over that with detail and righteous rage.

Jolie plays Christina Collins, a telephone switchboard supervisor and single mom in 1928 Los Angeles. She has to leave her 9year-old son, Walter, home one Saturday when she’s called into work. When she gets home, he’s missing.

Months of frantic calls ensue, trying to rouse the LAPD into action. A crusading preacher (John Malkovich) takes up the cause.

A kid turns up in Illinois and is delivered to her and the waiting press corps by a press-savvy police department.

“That’s not my son.”

“You must be mistaken,” a pushy cop (Jeffrey Donovan) insists.

It’s been a few months. The boy has changed. Your memory is playing tricks on you. Besides, he adds, you’re a woman. And you know “how women are.”

As horrific as losing a child is, imagine losing one and having the absolute authority and influence of the Los Angeles Police Department determined to “make this all go away” by giving you a replacement boy, insulting you when you make a fuss, sending

doctors around to bolster their case and, when you won’t play ball, having you institutionalized.

“Changeling” touches on several favourite Eastwood subjects – crimes against children in particular. But it’s worth noting that as good as Jolie is in the lead, Eastwood is no Spielberg when it comes to working with kids.

The mystery here is deep, with layers of meaning built into it.

Eastwood gets at psychiatric bullying and gender issues of those dark ages of yore. In casting the always-cagey Malkovich as the preacher who takes on Collins’ cause, he suggests that we question the man’s motives, that Mrs. Collins might be a pawn in a larger Los Angeles chess match.

Changeling is a movie with no shortage of villains, starting with the police chief (Colm Feore, gaunt and scary). It packages Jolie in flapper attire and red-red lipstick and demands that she cry “I want my son back!” dozens of times, but it’s still one of her most empathetic roles. Amy Ryan has the “Angelina Jolie” role in this “Interrupted” mental hospital, the patient in a similar fix, the one who explains this nightmare of powerlessness to the new inmate.

But like the similar Mystic River, Changeling is a film without the urgency that the subject demands. Eastwood flatly lays out the criminal case that may be linked to Walter’s disappearance and takes his own sweet time doing it. He can deliver chilling murders and hangings, but when he sets out to unravel the whole affair, the “eureka” moments don’t have the proper kick.

Changeling is fascinating, high-minded and ambitious story, with twists and turns and implications far beyond the “true crime” origins of the tale. That it isn’t the emotional, surprising and engrossing Oscar contender Eastwood set out to make is one of the bigger disappointments of the season.

By Roger Moore INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009 95

see life / dvds

Bio-clock ticker Baby Mama a pleasant movie, but Jolie’s Wanted strays too far BABY MAMA Starring: Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Sigourney Weaver, Romany Malco, Dax Shepard Directed by: Michael McCullers Rated: M (for low level offensive language) 95 minutes Baby Mama is a pleasantly predictable new wrinkle on the “moving to the mommy track” comedy, which Baby Boom launched lo those many years ago. It’s about surrogacy, or as the annoying entrepreneur-zealot (Sigourney Weaver) who hooks up fertile women (“gestation assistants”) with those who can’t have kids puts it, “outsourcing” pregnancy.

Tina Fey – she of the Sarah Palin lampoon-fest – stars as Kate, 37 years old and hearing her biological clock’s alarm go off.

“Katy’s coming out of the mommy closet,” teases her sister (Maura Tierney), who already has kids.

But Kate’s been career-oriented, tossing over men who want to settle down so that she could rise to vice president of Round Earth foods, a trendy organic supermarket chain. Now, working for the goofy guru in charge (Steve Martin, channelling every surfing, New Age pony-tailed corporate cliche in film history) isn’t enough. Kate wants kids.

Her “baby mania” scares guys off. And her ob-gyn tells her that the reason her designer-fertilized eggs won’t take is simple.

“I just don’t like your uterus.”

So she coughs up $100,000 to Weaver’s entrepreneur and contracts with Angie (Amy Poehler of “SNL”) to carry her egg to term.

Poehler presents Angie as a long-lost Spears sibling, a trashy, uneducated lout who says she “never has trouble” getting pregnant. Only she has no kids (figure it out). She has a lazy jerk “common law” husband (Dax Shepard, letting it all hang out).

They figure to cash in on the one life-skill Angie seems to possess. Until they split up.

So American Idol-obsessed, junk-food eating, chain-smoking, 96 INVESTIGATEMAGAZINE.COM February 2009

gum-snapping Angie winds up living with uptight, micro-managing, baby-book-reading Kate in Kate’s posh Philly apartment waiting for the blessed event.

Fireworks, right? Well, not exactly.

Baby Mama has its moments, but it is somewhat less than the sum of its parts. Romany Malco of 40-Year Old Virgin may be playing a cliche, the street-wise doorman. But he’s a funny one.

Shepard and Weaver score big laughs. Martin’s character is more a funny idea than hilariously executed. Greg Kinnear, playing almost exactly the same guy he trotted out for Feast of Love, shows how easy his charm wears when he doesn’t have to tear-up or carry the movie (he’s Kate’s new love interest).

Still, there are a couple of minor surprises and enough laughs and truisms floating around the supporting cast to make this an easy comedy to watch. But the few gratuitous moments of profanity and trips to the toilet don’t give it “edge.” Lorne Michaels rubbed that off most of his troops years ago.

By Roger Moore WANTED Starring: James McAvoy, Angelina Jolie, Morgan Freeman Directed by: Timur Bekmambetov Rated: R16 (for violence and offensive language) 102 minutes Wanted, the bloody new action film starring Angelina Jolie and other actors no one will remember, has touches of The Matrix,Star Wars, The Bourne Identity and every Sam Peckinpah movie ever made.

The screenplay by Michael Brandt, Derek Haas and Chris Morgan has eliminated the superhero part of the Mark Millar and J. G. Jones books. And instead of being all bad, this Fraternity follows mystical messages from the Loom of Fate (yes, the Loom of Fate) to assassinate people before they can do great evil.

The new recruit is Wesley Gibson (James McAvoy), an office worker who hates his life, his girlfriend and his boss. He knows there is something better for him. That something is the Fraternity.

Gibson learns from the all-knowing Sloan (Morgan Freeman) that he is the son of one of the best assassins the Fraternity has ever had.

The problem is dad is dead and they need someone with Gibson’s natural talents to kill the killer.

Wanted opens with a bang. You haven’t seen an action scene until you have watched Jolie spread eagle on the hood of a moving car shooting at a truck behind her.

Then it hits a lull. The training to teach Gibson the force of his killing skills takes up most of the first hour of the movie. After you have seen him beaten and healed several times the point is made. Even the trick of being able to bend the flight of a bullet takes far too long.

When the action resumes it is gangbusters. Gibson has gone from cubicle geek to super killer so quickly he can send his car into a somersault through the air and shoot an intended target through his sun roof.

The decision by Russian director Timur Bekmambetov to make the laws of nature and physics only suggestions shifts the movie into Matrix territory. When you can block a bullet with a knife, all bets are off. And all of this action is presented with so much gore and violence that the film often slips into the absurd. Not good for a movie trying to be a serious tale about good vs. evil.

By Rick Bentley