An Interview with Abhijata Sridhar Heather Haxo Phillips

AN INTERVIEW WITH ABHIJATA SRIDHAR

ON THE EVOLUTION OF HER PRACTICE, LEARNING FROM GURUJI, AND THE FUTURE OF IYENGAR YOGA

BY HEATHER HAXO PHILLIPS

“ We have a habit to form a shell, to say that this is all we can do. If things get difficult, we want to avoid it. But once it’s over, you realize it’s not that bad.”

Heather Haxo Phillips: During the Florida convention, you told us about your master’s program and how you came to RIMYI. How did you decide that you wanted to teach? That didn’t seem to be your intention when you came to Pune.

Abhijata Sridhar: After my graduation in 2005, I wanted to pursue academics, as well as come in to myself through yoga. I spoke to the head of my department, saying that I want to do a Ph.D., but that I wanted to do it by coming to the department only for half a day because I wanted the other half for yoga. She said that I’d have to give a full-day commitment. I think for five years, she said. I thought that’d be too much, so then she told me to go to the U.S. and work on my Ph.D. for a shorter time, if possible. I didn’t want to do that, either.

So I decided to take a break from academics for a year to study yoga, to learn yoga. Just learn, do some more classes, do some practice. I planned to see how it went and then get back to my Ph.D. after a year’s break. And that year— it never stopped!

Practice went on, and then Guruji told me to start coming to the children’s classes.

HHP: To start teaching the children’s classes?

AS: Just to come to the children’s classes! To see what was happening and to speak for five or 10 minutes in those classes. Then I started helping in the therapy class, where Guruji was going. Because he was going, I started attending those classes and seeing what they do. I was interested in how they were healing people so miraculously. One day, Guruji asked me to start teaching the children’s classes. I was not confident at first, but he said, “Just start.”

HHP: So what was your teacher training experience like? was just attending the classes with my aunt and uncle. I would attend classes every day, six days a week when I was in my post-graduation phase. After my post-graduation, I think I cut down on the classes a little and focused on my own practice a little more. There was no teacher training, as such.

HHP: How did your relationship with Guruji change as you began studying with him, going from being his granddaughter to being his student?

AS: In the beginning, he was just my grandfather. I knew he was a famous man. Then, I started knowing he was a great man, but when I came to Pune, he was just my grandfather. We would write each other letters. When he went abroad, he would buy gifts for when he came back to India, so it was just that.

When I started learning from him, during the first five years, I did not practice much. It was mostly attending classes. When I attended the women’s classes, Guruji also told me what to do when Geetaji was teaching— so I had two simultaneous teachers in the class.

I don’t know when the relationship of the grandfathergranddaughter faded and the guru-sisya relationship came about. It was not a very clear demarcation. I think it was a fuzzy boundary, and it would just fade in and fade out till the very end.

HHP: The sheer physical pain and fear involved in practicing under Guruji’s eyes— how did you make it through that? How did that change you?

AS: Once I went through that, once that was over, I realized it was not so bad. We have a habit to form a shell, to say that this is all we can do. If things get difficult, we want to avoid it. But once it’s over, you realize it’s not that bad. Nothing happened. I didn’t die. I didn’t break a bone. I didn’t break a muscle. It’s just

Abhijata Sridhar at the 2016 IYNAUS Convention in Boca Raton, Florida Photo: James Greene

getting through that, and it just needs courage from inside. Unfortunately, few of us are able to bring that up on our own. Thankfully, I had Guruji to show me. Everybody has the potential to face it. But it’s not on the surface; it’s well-hidden and dormant.

HHP: How has your personal practice changed since Guruji passed? Since he left his body?

AS: For the first few weeks, I didn’t feel like practicing at all. I missed him. I mean everybody missed him. But I didn’t have the guts to even go into the institute hall because in our tradition, we have a 13-day mourning period. The institute was closed. In those 13 days, I did not have the courage to go to the hall at all, because I didn’t know how I would face that— knowing Guruji would never come back there again.

But then, I became afraid. I was afraid that Guruji would get angry if I didn’t practice, and that’s what made me start my practice again. The fear that he would revoke his blessings or be upset at me.

I had episodes where I would go into a certain asana and I would recollect what would happen [when Guruji had been there]; then I would get emotional. The place where he

always practiced— seeing that, sometimes I would get emotional. But then his teachings would come back; I would hear his words again.

I don’t think you ever forget that. When they say time heals, I don’t think it heals in the sense that it takes off the magnitude of the loss. But time takes your mind to so many other things that you’ll stop thinking about it.

HHP: The memories of your grandfather will always be there, but your practice has become your own now, in some way, or it’s becoming your own.

AS: In the beginning, I would feel lost. The feeling of being orphaned was so strong, but then I also realized that I was just being selfish. I realized I was being selfish because I wanted him to be there because I wanted to learn from him. I wanted him to be there because I wanted him to teach me, and I realized that’s a very selfish thought that I had for such a selfless man, who all his life was so selfless. The reason I wanted him to be alive is that I wanted to continue learning from him. When that realization came, I think my practice got independent. It just happens now.

HHP: The way so many of us practice is goal-oriented. Whether we are trying to explore our forward bends in a deeper way or set some other goal for our practice. But Guruji never seemed to set goals for himself. Or at least I never saw him as being goal-oriented. I’m curious about whether you think that’s true— that he didn’t set goals. And also, do you set goals? How do you approach your practice when you are thinking about what you are going to do that day or at night, when you’re planning what you want to do the next day?

AS: Did Guruji set goals? I don’t know; it would be speculation. If he made up his mind that he wanted to do something, he would do it. There were instances like that, but I don’t think they were of the nature that we know of, for example, to say “I will do 108 Sirsasana drop backs today.” Or “I will do 108 Rope 1 today.” Or “I will improve my Marichyasan twistings today.” I don’t think his goals were ever like that. I think he passed that years and years ago. Decades ago.

HHP: You think at one point he did set goals?

AS: He must have. In his early days, he said, he would practice in front of his Guru’s photograph. He must have. He was not a born genius, he says. He says he was not born with this. He had to practice hard to get where he got.

HHP: Do you think that we need goals? Maybe that’s what we all need at the beginning?

AS: I don’t know. He has said in class, “You have with you 80 years of my experience.” [At first] he didn’t know that [practicing] mechanically was not the answer. His practice after many years might have told him that was not the way, but now we already know that, so we should probably take off from a higher place. It’s like in the days before aircrafts were invented, you had to travel the long distance, but now you have the aircraft, so you can take a shortcut.

HHP: In Western psychology, there are many theories about what makes somebody great. One theory is the human ability to learn from our forbearers. That’s why people can run twice as fast today in a marathon as they could 80 years ago. It’s because they’ve learned the techniques. However, there’s nobody who has even begun to achieve the greatness of Guruji. If you just think about the categories of his greatness— his writings, his teaching, his practice— nobody has achieved such greatness in any category much less all of them. What is that?

AS: I think it’s because yoga is the only thing that makes you objective and subjective at the same time. That’s something he said. If it’s an objective and a subjective science or art, then it

Altar at the front of the practice room at the 2016 IYNAUS Convention Photo: James Greene

needs your experience. Maybe. I’m guessing.

Because all of this is from his own experience. There is something about the subjective nature of yoga.

HHP: Do you have that in you, too? Do you think you have books in you, or do you not think that far ahead? Like, the desire to write books.

AS: I don’t have a desire like that. No. There’s so much more that’s to be done in the practice that I’m thinking about. There’s still far more to experience.

HHP: Clearly, you’re very well steeped in yoga philosophy. How did that come to be? Of course, you were born into certain traditions, but that’s completely different than understanding Sanskrit words.

AS: I don’t think I’m so steeped in yoga philosophy.

HHP: Okay. Can you tell me about your study of it?

AS: I did my formal study of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras with my uncle Prashant. I did that for over a year, sutra by sutra. He would explain to me what it means, what’s the context.

We met maybe thrice a week for over a year until we went through all the chapters of the Yoga Sutras. Then I sat with him again for Vyasa’s basham [commentary] of the Yoga Sutras. I haven’t read philosophical books by anybody other than my grandfather, uncle, and aunt.

I think it is the teachings. I started my interest in philosophy from the practical point of view. Guruji, Geetaji, and Prashantji would describe the philosophy in the classes. And it really

“ I have a wish for myself. That I should be truthful and honest in what I’m doing, so

I guess that applies to all students—being honest and truthful.”

attracted me. I got interested in knowing what it meant. Then, I went to them and asked them what it meant. It just grew.

HHP: Can you talk about your process of incorporating philosophy into your asana class?

AS: I have been seeing this for so many years. If you spent 16 years in Pune, attending all the classes with Guruji, you would have gotten the same thing, felt the same thing. It just comes.

HHP: From experience?

AS: Yes. They just kept giving and giving and giving. They just keep giving and giving and giving.

Guruji often said that if you look at yoga philosophy as philosophy and try to understand it from that angle, confusion may arise and you may not know how to put the two together. From a practical point of view, once the interest seeps in and you approach the theory, it starts to make sense. Instead of starting right away from the theory, start with the practical first. Once you get interested, you’ll naturally want to know what the theory means.

HHP: Do you have advice for teachers who are just beginning to explore bringing yoga philosophy into their classes?

AS: I think I had the world’s best teachers, so I never had to face that problem.

HHP: Going to the source, to Pune, is certainly inspiring. How has being a mother effected your practice and your teaching?

AS: Apart from the logistics?

HHP: Yes.

AS: Well, we live in a joint family— my husband, my parents-inlaw, and sister-in-law who is still not married. Then on my mom’s side, my dad— I meet them so often. They came to the institute when Guruji was there. They were taking care of him. There’s somebody always there to take care of my daughter because it’s family. I don’t have to worry about whether she’s being fed on time. That comfort, that security is there. I am thankful because my family and in-laws, my husband, they’re all supportive of what I’m doing.

Apart from the logistics, has it emotionally affected my teaching? I think it might have. It should have. It makes sense. I don’t know. I’m not able to pick what has changed, but I think an evolution happens. People tell me it’s changed, but I don’t know what’s changed.

HHP: I have some questions about the future of Iyengar Yoga. As we think about groups of potential students who might be on the periphery, how can Iyengar Yoga instructors bring them into our community? Do you have ideas?

I’m thinking about what Manouso said in his keynote speech at the convention— that we should continue to work hard to bring groups of people who don’t have access to yoga into yoga, to reach out to communities who aren’t doing yoga.

AS: I think you guys are doing a great job already— all the teachers of our system, wherever they are. It’s because of them that the student base is growing. So many people are interested. Of course, Guruji [has been part of that, as well as] Geetaji and Prashant-ji’s touch, undoubtedly. But it’s the work of the local community that builds up the system. Undoubtedly, you are already doing a wonderful job, for which the family is thankful.

HHP: What is the role of Iyengar Yoga for society?

AS: I think it has a great role because it makes one better. It makes one better physically; it makes one better mentally. That is going to contribute to a healthy society. Once the individual starts getting better, society is going to get better.

HHP: During this convention, you’ve given us many clues about how we should practice. In the days and months to come, we must observe more and we must practice from our heart, so we must not fear pain. Do you have any other wishes for us?

AS: I have a wish for myself. That I should be truthful and honest in what I’m doing, so I guess that applies to all students— being honest and truthful.

Honest and truthful in our practice, honest and truthful in our learning, honest and truthful in our teaching. If we are courageous enough to look at ourselves, to know whether we are doing the right thing for the right purpose, then there’s no problem.

HHP: I really thank you for your time.

AS: Thank you.

Heather Haxo Phillips (Intermediate Junior III) is the director of Adeline Yoga Studio and former president of the Iyengar Yoga Institute of San Francisco/Iyengar Yoga Association of Northern California. Please send any thoughts or suggestions to heather@adelineyoga.com.