CRUSH

crush

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OH!

DARK SIDE OF DATING

CONTENTS

05 EVOLUTION OF DATING IS MARRIAGE DYING?

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ZOMBIE GENERATION

DISPOSABLE DATING

WHY CAN’T WOMEN SLEEP AROUND?

SHOULD THERE BE RULES TO DATING?

ARE SOUL MATES REAL?

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MODERN DATING

WHERE DID MONOGAMY COME FROM?

QPID

STAR CROSSED

DIVA DATING

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50

LOOKING OUT FOR NO. 1

SPEAKING TO THE AGES

DRESS

FOR

THE

RIGHT

61 YOUR QUESTIONS TIPS

ATTENTION HISTORICAL LOVE STORIES

DATING DISASTERS

LET’S TALK APHRODISIACS LOVE LETTERS YOU COME FIRST MOOD MUSIC

OR ASTROLOGY LOVERS

CONFESSIONS

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EDITORS

LETTER Oh! Hi, let me get myself together, Just dishevelled from thinking about all the exciting content we have to offer in the first edition of Crush and honestly I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly!

Here to change the modern dating scene and how we look at love today! It needs a mix up or rather a reality check of sorts. I want to CRUSH old habits of love, CRUSH society’s common beliefs, and help you find/get your ultimate CRUSH. The Crush Mag is going to put an eyeglass on the love scene and explore the shockers, the blood boilers but also the sweeter side of what happens when 2 (or even 3 or 4 in this generation) become 1 - if you know what I mean WINK WINK. Now if you don’t know what I mean... then you really need this Mag. Educate yourself a little bit on humanities favourite/most interesting subject; dare I say, the L word.

Lust.

Partially joking, yet partially not. I want you to see this magazine in any way you want, this is for YOU. Let’s pull away from the traditional and reach for modern culture’s new take. Let’s get excited, find the evolution of how our dating world has changed, is marriage a dying concept?

Should there be rules to dating or does that set us up to fail? Has social media created too much temptation for any monogamous relationship to survive? Are we a generation waking up and trying to find the authenticity of life again? Away from Tinder, cat-fishing and social media’s unrealistic expectations. I mean, this could just be a shower thought but honestly, where did monogamy even come from anyway? and why in our culture now, do

we feel comfortable enough to step out of these guidelines for a refreshing take on what a connected world could look like?

We all have a LOT of thoughts on dating (and frankly life in general too). Maybe you’re the kind of person who is still trying to figure out what they like or who they even are in the first place? If so just flick through a few pages and we got you covered. Everyone needs a bit of help in life: from not knowing your preference, stigmas around choices you make whilst dating to even needing help getting back out there, if it has been a while or not! Crush Mag will help you date like a Diva. I use the word ‘Date’ loosely as if you don’t want to date and are just trying to have some “fun” (and not doing it at the expense of others) then I say you go Glen CoCo. Connecting and reaching out to others is a beautiful thing, we all know it. That’s why we’ve spoken to lovers through out the ages to give us there take on dating and of course for the hopeless romantics amongst you, they give us the down low on how they met and no I’m not crying, ok , you are!

Open up, get empowered and get involved. Ask questions, challenge the magazine if you have any opposing views or even anything you would like to add.

Share awkward dating stories (I know I have a few, eek!). Even write a cute love letter for your lover or even to yourself.

Share tips on how you date or how to find a quick flame. The Crush magazine is a no judge zone! Anything said here goes and is accepted whole heartedly. Whether you’re single, just having some fun, in a relationship or two, then welcome to the riveting NEW world of dating!

Iz Xx

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Evolution of ON 19TH CENTURY DATING FROM THE 2016 BOOK - LABOUR OF LOVE ‘WOMEN WHO LET MEN BUY THEM FOOD AND DRINKS OR GIFTS AND ENTRANCE TICKETS LOOKED LIKE WHORES, AND MAKING A DATE SEEMED THE SAME AS TURNING A TRICK.’ - MOIRA WEIGEL

The courtship etiquette was much different to what we are used to today.

Typically, a women would be under strict parental supervision and actually would be chaperoned on dates. Attending theatres and fine dining was the shape of the desired courtship method of this time. A time when marriage was much less the declaration of love and more the means of which families legally exchanged in properties.

OH!

The early 19th century saw a new romantics era arise. Art and philosophy reflected a new world view in which love was the ideal foundation for a marriage.

Now what is love with out a few good dates?

Still keeping in mind financial and social status, this decade did it’s best to break away from having parents present to whittle down the best suitor. Yet a real change wouldn’t be seen for a few years yet.

During this time, couples would send letters to one another as they sought freedom from their constant supervising parents. The youths would keep their exciting love affairs all on the down low; girls wearing lockets containing hair (of all things) from their suitor.

Whilst men would keep pictures of their beloved with them at all times.

Romantic or a bit crazy?

You be the judge.

W

HERE TO PIN POINT THE TERM ‘DATING’ IS A TRICKY ONE. YOU SEE AS THAT SPECIFIC WORD ONLY CAME ABOUT IN 1896, WHEN PUBLISHED IN A NEWSPAPER COLUMN. HOWEVER, CLEARLY THIS IS NOT TO SAY PEOPLE DIDN’T DATE BEFORE THE INVENTION OF ‘DATING’ CAME ABOUT. THAT WILL MOST LIKELY TRACK BACK TO THE BEGINNING OF TIME:

Caveman sees Cave-women. He hits her on the head with a stick. BOOM. It’s enough for her. They spend a lot of time in each others caves and the rest is history. Quite literally too.

Over time things got more sophisticated, I say that but... Tinder. Need I say more. Of course, I joke, dating is broad and always has been. I am going to start our evolution from when the official use of the phrase “to date” means what we know it as today. Taking us all the way back to the 1890’s.

Women’s sole purpose still seen to be good home makers and to raise children.

Through out the 20’s movies and cars would become all the rage, and in return would drastically change the dating scene.

Because of the wild popularity of cars, more people started to meet at parties and would dance in all areas around towns. Strangers turned to lovers, the social aspect of life had never been so booming.

So that’s how the ‘Roaring 20’s’ got its name.

Now is that from the bedroom department, I think so.

STANDARDS! I think this is something we all need to remember when out of the dating scene. In the 1930’s women had no problem setting standards what they believe they deserve. Okay, yes in this sense they did mostly just want gifts and money. But actually some of the more rebellious of the upper class would start to date people considered lower class.

This era saw no more chaperones but did still need a parents approval before any date would be taking place.

With the 1940’s, so came the war and a whole new view came about with the men at war meeting women with different cultural and relationship views. With all new ideas of courtship this is where we start to see a more casual and modern romance scene take place.

Coca Cola dates became very popular, along with the increase of dancing and socializing events. More opportunities arose to possibly find the one they’d been looking for.

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I assume you already know about the 50’s dating era as you must have watched Grease. If you haven’t watched Grease then... you don’t belong here!

JOKING, of course.

But seriously, stop reading and go watch Grease.

Dating became less popular over these years.

There were two ends to the spectrum and not much in between: The partying and drugs tapped in to modern culture largely creating the equivalent of a “hook up” situation for the most part. Naming it ‘Free love’

This era was for the greasers and poodle shirts. If you were in a “steady” relationship, typically the male would give the lady his jacket to wear. You were given more freedom to attend dates and meet different groups of people.

People who weren’t interested in the hectic party life kept things smooth and romantic e.g. NO kissing on a first date, going to dance groups and taking sweet trips to get ice cream.

Beginning in the 70’s, people would meet most commonly in nightclubs for many decades and wait until the end of night for all the slow songs to come on, where women would stand on the side and wait to be picked by some “hunk”.

This tradition lasted for many decade ending officially in last few years.

Oh, the 90’s! Some key dating trends come to mind when talking about this decade: Talking on the phone for 3 hours, and that giddy feelings you’d get after hanging up. Friends coming over to help you get ready, trying on outfits and maybe having some drinks. Mix tapes, that they think will make you melt you into a puddle. dedicating songs to your crush on the radio.

Now some of these really need to come back, I don’t know about you but this is much better than online dating.

OH!

This decade bought us the combined couple names, most memorable of course Brangelina. Not only this but matching clothing and also got the tattooing each others names on each other trend going. Now maybe for a first date that is a bit much, but hopefully after reading this mag your dates will be that successful.

Romantic tendencies were still quite big in the Naughties.

Flowers on dates, picking you up at the door, spontaneous gestures. The romance was very much alive.

Same sex relationships started to become more common in this decade and the popularity of the birth control pill also rose in popularity.

The 70’s were an important decade for the feminist movement, more women could get an education and have a career.

An even more casual dating scenes came about, people became more open to “hanging out” and going for drinks, movies and dinner dates - keeping in mind they have no commitment in needing dates to succeed.

The last decade that didn’t use technology as a dating tool.

Writing love letters in newspaper ads and asking for days to meet up, having to trust that nothing had changed when it came to the anticipated day.

Imagine not being able to text to make sure they were still on for the date. Crazy.

The era of Dirty dancing, The breakfast club and Footloose dates would be seen bowling, picnics, movies, sports event, more modern things we also do in this day and age.

As we come to the end of our decade and approach the new 20’s, we can only imagine how the dating scene is yet yet to evolve.

These past years have seen us loose a bit of real connection. Everything was speed dating, swiping right and social media crazed. Honestly, what was the big rush this decade ?

The media picked up on the excitement around dating and started to create shows, which with some we are yet to be convinced weren’t staged: Love island, Dinner date, First dates.

These shows all do massively well as everyone wants to see romance bloom. A completely new age for dating, everything so virtual and online.

I have a feeling that we are in stall for some more authenticity arising once again. Maybe taking it old school and joining dance groups with friends to cast your net wider, who knows?

But we will definitely find out soon!

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is marriage

dying?

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COULD MARRIAGE BE A THING OF THE PAST? IZZY SHORT EXPLORES HOW MARRIAGE COULD NOW NO LONGER BE IN YOUR FUTURE. PHEW! THE PRESSURE IS OFF! Marriage: a powerful role it has always played in traditional cultures all around the world.

There’s been so much chatter about the death of marriage recently. It is true that there are more single people than ever before, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that marriage is out of fashion, right? If we take it back a few decades, a big reason to marry was to gain financial security as a women and equally for two houses to join and become over all more wealthy.

But now, the workplace has negated the financial need for women to and husbands. The stigma of being single has gone way down since the ’60’s.

The financial relationship in regards to being wed has actually shifted, in that people now have the frame of mind that they will loose money if they were to get married. In my opinion they are not wrong: Everything costs from the off set, you have to pay for the wedding and everything that comes with it. Then there is that sinking feeling that if everything goes ‘tits up’, so to speak, they can take half of what you own depending on the circumstances.

Is it overall just better to keep yourself to yourself, each to your own, never fully committing everything you have, never becoming one and sharing everything in your name. Or, on the

other hand, is it all worth it. Just to feel closer to the one you love, share there last name, have it in writing that you are betrothed to each other and confess your love in front of the world and feel the commitment and promise that you will stay with each other until the end.

I found that the vast majority of people do still eventually get married – just at a different pace than before. There is no more rush! Not only this but from doing extensive research, according to the experts on this subject, Stephanie Coontz surprisingly says, “Today the average age of rst marriage is almost 27 for women and 29 for men”.

New research by the sociologist, Leslie McCall, revealed “while marriage rates have fallen for most women since 1980, those for the highest earning women have increased, to 64 percent in 2010 from 58 percent in 1980. Women in the top 15 percent of earners are now more likely to be married than their lowerearning counterparts.”

It’s no surprise to me. With education and upward mobility comes selfesteem, more options, and better decision making. A woman making £100K is less likely to marry a bad man simply for stability than a woman who has no education and two kids out of wedlock.

MARRIAGE IS A FUNNY THING, WHO KNOWS IT COULD END UP BEING A THING OF THE PAST.

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WHY CAN’T

WOMEN SLEEP AROUND? T

he Putiry of double standards. Now I’m not here to get angry, I’m just here to ask (and answer) this question. Why is it ok for men to “sleep around”? Because as society had proved to us, it apparently isn’t at all ok for women to do the same.

Personally it just seems a bit weird to me.

The male species gets back from a night out; “Oi, Lads, Guess who’s body count just hit 57!”; all his friends cheer, ecstatic for his triumph of managing to bed another lady. That’s fine, good for him, if he’s doing it at nobody’s expense and is using protection then I say ‘you do you’. On the other hand, if the female species gets back from a night out and happens to have had some fun of their own in the bedroom department, they will more or less be likely to say something along the lines of; “For god sake! Now I’m on 5”; queue friends responding with “It’s ok, this one doesn’t count, I mean as long as you had fun, right?”. I just want to shake all women who think this way. It is as though women have been brainwashed to feel sudden guilt for even starting a sentence with the words ‘I had sex’.

A woman is given the role of the cartoon villain, marked by her peers as slutty and judged by society as unclean, irresponsible and incapable of keeping her legs firmly closed. The act is the same but why is the crown different, I’ve always thought most my generation, Millennials and Gen Z, were a bit more forward thinking and out grown the prehistoric judgements that plagued our ancestors. That it was now accepted for women to sleep with who so ever they wanted with the consequences determined by their relationship status and mental well being, the same as men.

Yes even without protection, don’t get me wrong though I’m not saying women

OH!

should go have unprotected sex in the most awkward of places, I’m against that in the same way I’m against men having unprotected sex in the most awkward of places, that’s nasty.

Did I mention I was wrong? A couple of conversations spurned my mind into writing this article, I had the opinion of my world shaken once again, no where near as badly as when Brexit passed or when Trump got elected, Jesus that was a shake!! But shaken nonetheless like a vegetarian ordering mock chicken and then having to double check that it is in fact mock chicken, except in my world I ordered equal thinking for the sexually

“A woman who has slept around a lot isn’t what I’m looking for” But… you sleep around more than anyone I’ve ever met!!

“Women are more likely to get an STD than men” What? You mean from the men that already have the STD? “It’s easier for a woman to get sex so if she sleeps around she’s sleeping around all the time” So would men, if they were getting vagina photos sent to their phones all the time. In fact who’s to say men aren’t doing just that.

Change the conversation, change the reaction, change the normal - into being no matter what you identify as you’re sex life is yours NOT to be judged (when not at the expense of others).

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WE CAN

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active woman and instead got “she’s not wife material”. I was taken aback by the opinions of my closest friends.

In a poor attempt to drag my friend’s out of the villain marked bag I’ve shoved them into, I’ll say they did agree that their thinking was full of double standards and blanket assumptions but neither could shake the fact that they would judge a woman based on these rules, stating that it’s just how it works.

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SOUL MATES T

here's been much debate in regard to whether each person just has one soulmate, or if each person has plenty of soulmates, or if, in fact, soulmates are a silly and frivolous notion altogether. If you search for it, there is some somewhat dubious scientific proof that soulmates are real, but before we go down that rabbit hole, I think it's worth defining and denoting which type of soulmate I mean.

A soulmate is just “a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.”

By that meaning, soulmates obviously exist A— there are definitely some people who are more ideally suited together than others. But a soulmate, in the more metaphysical sense of the term, has a deeper, more profound connotation. This type of soulmate is something based in a more spiritual plane — and historically has been associated with just one person. In other words, each person has just one soulmate out there, and if you blow it with them, that’s it.

I don’t believe that. I do, however, believe in soulmates in the dictionary definition of the word — as in, some people are truly suited for each other, and some are not, no matter how hard they try or how good they look on paper or even how much they love each other. But don’t take my word for it. Here’s what science has to say about soulmates.

“Let’s suppose you lock eyes with an average of a few dozen new strangers each day,” writes Munroe. “If 10 percent of them are close to your age, that’s around 50,000 people in a lifetime. Given that you have 500,000,000 potential soul mates, it means you’ll only find true love in one lifetime out of 10,000.”

OH!

If it’s just boiled down to math, the probability of finding your one true soulmate is pretty lousy. Then again, the whole idea of soulmates is kind of allergic to math. It’s a much more ephemeral, diaphanous concept. So maybe the fact that numbers “prove” that soulmates are next to impossible to find is just a bunch of baloney in and of itself, because even if you do have to find your soulmate in the midst of half a billion other people, maybe that’s just the point — that your soulmate will find you, if you are open to it and look for it, against the odds. Because the odds are irrelevant.

Because we’re talking about a metaphysical concept.

As the very out-there website The Science of Soulmates reports, soulmates are, indeed, real, and can be proven by science. But once you read through the lengthy, wordy site, you find that the theories listed on the site that are “scientifically proven” to show that soulmates are real are pretty woo-woo.

Soulmates are, apparently, one manifestation of energy patterns inherent to all things in the universe. According to the site, “scientific instruments recorded evidence of a fundamental energy pattern that reveals the source of existence and the source of the phenomenon of soulmates.”

Though this “evidence” is convoluted and hard to follow, it appears that some believe that soulmates can be proven by studying energy patterns. I’m open to this idea — I was raised in a nontraditional household, and I’m open to many transcendental concepts — but I’m not sure this site actually provides much real proof that soulmates exist, at least according to science. So — back to the drawing board.

PROBABLY

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MODERN

DATING

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MODERN DATING IS COMPLICATED. HERE ARE SOME HARSH TRUTHS ABOUT MODERN DATING THAT WILL HELP YOU DEAL WITH REALITY AND PREPARE YOU FOR THE UNEXPECTED.

PEOPLE LIE.

YOU WILL BE DISAPPOINTED.

Face it. No matter how “honest” someone appears there is more reward through lying when you first meet. If you don’t accept everything you hear as the truth, you will give yourself some time. Down the line, you may see the truth for yourself, which is far better than words.

Again, and again. You disappoint yourself often, how do you expect someone else not to disappoint you? Learn to live with frustration. If you dump everyone who disappoints you, you’ll never find anyone.

YOU LIE.

You will find someone you’re dating who is going to dig up all your bad qualities. Consider this a good thing. It will help you grow, shift and accept parts of your personality you discarded. If you meet someone who suddenly has you interested in running sprints on Friday nights instead of binging on alcohol that is a huge improvement for your quality of life.

Big lies. White lies. You do it. Beware, however, the bigger your lie, the more likely you are to date someone hiding an even bigger lie. To avoid this, date less, and establish intimacy with a few chosen people you want to get to know. That level of comfort will make you more open and honest.

PEOPLE GOT ISSUES. No one is going to come cookie cutter clean.

Everyone has a bad or dark side whether they admit it or not. Just hope you meet the person who knows what her dark side is because she will most likely have compassion when you show yours.

Every one you date is a teacher. If you think this way, no relationship is wasted.

THERE ARE A LOT OF OPTIONS. From online dating to speed dating, it’s easy to feel like modern dating is a full-time job. Don’t do everything. Find what best suits your personality.

An extrovert may love the nightlife and meeting people out on the town. An introvert may prefer online dating or a structured, timed format like speed dating.

YOU WILL PAY DEARLY FOR SOMEONE ELSE’S CHILDHOOD TRAUMA. If there is unresolved childhood trauma, be prepared for dating to be quite tumultuous. If you experience an adult-child who is acting as if they are stuck on six, instead of 36, because he has not progressed emotionally from what happened, take a step back. Establish boundaries early. It is your job to protect yourself.

YOU WILL HAVE TO CHANGE.

YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE THEY ARE DATING. There is less pressure to perform when you keep this in mind. Be comfortable with the fact the person you are dating may be interested in others. It’s all fair game until you become exclusive.

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE IS EARNED, NOT AUTOMATIC. No one is going to love or accept you unconditionally out of the gate. If he says he does, you haven’t given him a reason yet. You eventually will. Unconditional love is earned through time and problem-solving.

You need to feel confident in someone’s loyalty to you, and that is rare.

THE PERSON WHO CARES LESS HAS ALL THE POWER. This is difficult when you are head over heels for someone. After a few months of dating, you care a lot. You want the other person to know. Forget it. It makes you appear less valuable.

GIVE UP ON RELATIONSHIPS. IMPROVE YOURSELF FIRST TO ATTRACT BETTER DATING PROSPECTS. ONCE YOU FEEL WHOLE AND COMPLETE WITH YOUR GOOD AND BAD PARTS, PEOPLE WILL STICK TO YOU LIKE BUTTER ON TOAST. MEN AND WOMEN ARE ATTRACTED TO PARTNERS WHO ARE MOST COMFORTABLE WITH WHO THEY ARE.

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DARK SIDE OF DATING

zombie

THE DARK SIDE OF DATING

Most of you are probably familiar with ‘ghosting’ the phenomenon where the person you’re dating suddenly disappears, never to return. The sheer number of people dating these days, and the way in which we communicate, makes it easier than ever to ghost one another.

However, 2016 has seen the rise of a new hurtful and emotionally disruptive trend in dating – zombieing.

While the term itself may sound fairly ridiculous, it is most definitely a thing! In fact, I expect many of you have experienced zombieing yourselves.

So what is zombieing? Well, in short, it’s where someone you previously dated (and very likely cared for) or were even in a relationship with, ghosted you, only to then resurface some time later, most likely in the form of some sort of social media interaction or an out of the blue text message. Usually the zombieing happens just when you’ve gotten over the hurt of having them ghost you in the first place. Then, all of a sudden, they subtly reappear (I say subtle – it can feel like a slap in the face!) causing more emotional upset.

up conversation with you, then they don’t deserve to be a part of your life again.

Yes, social media and digital dating makes it easy to ghost and zombie each other, but that doesn’t give us a free pass to view other people and their emotions as disposable. Ghosting and zombieing suggests emotional unavailability, a lack of awareness of other people’s feelings and zero backbone if communicating behind the sa“fety of a screen and elusively on social media is how they get your attention again.

“ IF THEY REALLY

WANTED TO SPEAK TO YOU, OR GET BACK IN TOUCH, THEN THEY WOULD TAKE A FAR MORE PERSONAL APPROACH

Getting over a break-up, regardless of whether it was a committed long-term relationship or with someone you’ve only been seeing for a short while, can be really tough. Ghosting then creates even more inner turmoil because we end up driving ourselves crazy wondering what we did wrong and questioning why, when they seemed so keen, did we just not hear from them again?

Moving on is so much easier if both people are aware it’s nal. So now zombieing also leaves us victim to wondering if that person will resurface, and if so, how will we be able Laura Yates is a relationship coach and writer who to handle that after doing all the hard work getting over specialises in helping people through break-ups them?! and heartbreak. Laura provides clients with bespoke tools, techniques and mindsets that enable them to Plus, because the ‘ghoster’ left without an explanation, deal with their emotional struggles whilst moving they don’t feel the need to have one to come back into forward in their life with renewed energy and focus. your life.I know because it’s happened to me before, and Laura also helps people to build up their condense, it left me very confused! communication and interaction skills when getting The thing is, regardless of whether you get zombied back into dating. Find Laura on Facebook, Twitter @ by an ex who really meant something to you, or by laurayatesUK and at her website, laurayates.org. You someone who you just went on a few dates with and can also take her free break-up quiz to discover your then disappeared, what’s important to remember is that number one Heartbreak Trap and get a free roadmap if that person doesn’t have the courage to have a straight sent to you on what to do next.

“

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DISPOSA

“I shared a subway pole with a guy yesterday, was that a date? A woman gave me free Amaro when she brought me my check at a bar two nights ago, are we married now? “

THE DARK SIDE OF DATING

BLE

DATING

‘TINDER FATIGUE’ IS DEFINITELY A THING. THE PURE VOLUME OF NAKED SELFIES COMBINED WITH WEIRD DATES MEANS THE NOVELTY OF DATING APPS IS WEARING THIN FOR MANY OF THOSE IN THE MARKET FOR A NEW PARTNER. “They are constantly having to swipe left or right, but it’s disposable… everyone’s got so much choice they don't know what to do with it,” says Lana Salah, who reckons her show First Dates is a welcome reprieve from all that swiping.

When I interviewed Shani Silver, this is what she had to say: At some point I stopped calling them dates.

That term wasn’t working for me. The word “date” carries with it a waft of romance and excitement that I simply wasn’t comfortable assigning to an event where I met a stranger for the first time and hoped his profile photos were accurate.

I truly don’t know how to date anymore. There are two dimensions to this. The first: I don’t know how to physically continue. At this stage in my single life, I recoil at the idea of showering, putting on makeup, picking out an outfit, and blow drying my hair even one more time in order to meet up with a name in my phone. Like you could ask me to do it right now and I would literally charge a fee.

I’ve probably gone on a first date over a hundred times, and I don’t think I have anything left to give to that effort. I have earned my bitterness merit badge and no one will take it from me. The money I’ve spent on wines by the glass over 11 years is a down payment by now, so don’t talk to me about staying motivated to conduct two hours worth of small talk over stale Sancerre with a guy I’ll never see again. Wait, that’s not right — I’m definitely going to see him walking down Park Avenue in seven months and avoid his gaze at all costs.

It’s the fact that he’s a stranger. I don’t know this person, we haven’t sparked yet, not in real life, anyway. It’s not that I’ve been

meeting terrible men (though...girl), it’s really more about the fact that dating for me has held such an absence of excitement, fun, and actual desire that I truly no longer see it as a valid use of my time.

And spare me about sparking online. I’ve done this dance too many times to fall for a witty text or two, I can promise you that.

The girl he sits next to in his open office floor plan thinks he’s such a great guy even though she herself isn’t attracted to him and she wrote that adorable message to help him out because he has the wit of a dusty box fan.

Honestly, don’t fuck with me.

Meeting people I’ve found through dating apps is (first of all, everyone’s primary means of dating now, let’s be real) for me, such a sterile form of connection. If I already knew him, if we met out in the wild, like in the ‘90s, I might approach my dates with more vigor.

I’d have clues and indications that could suggest to me that I’d enjoy being around this person — some groundwork would have been laid. But now, all I know is that he went skiing last winter and has two sisters with whom his mum still makes him take photos with in matching Christmas pajamas. If there was any actual human connection attracting me to my dates, I might look forward to them, instead of approaching them like they’re a scary jar from the back of the fridge that’s probably gone bad. But since all I’ve got are a few text back-and-forths and the knowledge that the only reason this date is happening at all is because following two concurring right thumb swipes, I: a) suggested we meet, b) picked the day, c) picked the time, and d) picked the place, I can’t say I’m exactly overflowing with anticipation. I’m saving my blowouts and cute new spring dresses for dinner group and book club where I know they’ll be put to good use.

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DATING

THE DARK SIDE OF DATING

WHY SHOULD THERE BE RULES TO DATING? WE ARE THERE TO BE OURSELVES NOT PLAY GAMES LIKE WE ARE STILL IN PRIMARY SCHOOL!

A

lthough shows like Sex and the City often made dating look exciting and fun, we sometimes make it harder and more complicated than it really needs to be.

There are those of us who treat dating as if it's a job hunt, those of us who treat the whole process as if it's a job unto itself, and those of us who fear — gasp! — breaking dating "rules." But it shouldn't feel this way.

For starters, dating isn't a job and those rules? Who even invented these so-called "rules?" The only "rule" should be that you just be yourself and quit being beholden to rules. And even love experts agree.

"BE YOURSELF AND BE HONEST," Alisha Powell, PhD, LCSW, couples therapist, tells Bustle. "First dates aren't the time to find out the person's entire life history but you can get a good idea of what they might want in the future. Don't get hung up on small things and keep the big picture in mind. You can always decline the next date if you don't sense any chemistry."

While we may never know who came up with these silly dating rules, we can at least do our best to break them. That's right; break the eff out of them. Here are nine dating "rules" to break, according to love experts.

Rule #1: Waiting Three Days To Get Back To Someone Exactly who decided that waiting three days to get back to someone was a good idea?

“We’re all connected to our phones,” Erika Ettin, founder and CEO of A Little Nudge and host of the podcast, “So, We Met Online,” tells Bustle. “And we’re all adults. If you like someone, contact that person in a timely fashion. If a quick response turns someone off, then that’s [their] problem — not yours.”

Rule #2: Avoiding Serious Questions Early On You may have been told to avoid talking about serious topics, like politics or religion, is off limits on a first date. But discussing these things may be the way to find what you’re really looking for.

Rule #3: Having Sex After X Amount Of Dates Just as rules should be thrown out the window, so should “scheduling” when you’ll have sex for the first time with someone.

Sex means different things to different people, and its importance level in someone’s life isn’t always the same. If you “force” yourself to have — or not have — sex at a time that doesn’t feel right, you’re just getting

off on the wrong foot.

Rule #4: Avoid Talking About Your Exes “Contrary to common dating advice — talking about exes on a first date is actually a great way to learn about the other person and quickly see if there are any red flags that they are not relationship material,” Charlee Brotherton, relationship/dating expert and founder of Executive Matchmakers, tells Bustle. “While going into too much detail and rehashing the past can ruin the romantic mood, asking a few light questions about past relationships can be very revealing.”

Brotherton suggests asking how their last relationship ended or whether or not they keep in touch with their exes. How people deal with breakups and treat the people to whom they were once close really speaks volumes.

Rule #6: Sticking To Gender Stereotypes My mother was raised not to “chase” men. You wait until they come to you. For a woman to pursue a man, no matter how interested she might be, was just considered inappropriate behavior... oh, how archaic a thought.

According to Ettin, this is a rule that needs to be ditched stat. If you’re a woman who dates men, don’t feel like you have to wait for them to reach out. “It’s 2018 — go for what you want!” says Ettin.

Rule #8: Thinking You Should Immediately Hit It Off IF YOU DON’T FEEL INSTANT CHEMISTRY, DON’T WRITE SOMEONE OFF. “Sometimes looking for initial ‘chemistry’ can be an extremely limiting factor,” says Kaplan. “Half the time that initial pull is indicative of lust, not even love, so if you are intrigued after a first date, give it a fair shot to see if chemistry grows with getting to know each other.”

Rule #9: You’ll Know If They’re “The One” Right Away If this were true, if we really could sense that we’d found “The One” upon a first meeting, then we’d have a lot less breakups and divorces.

“We keep seeing all of these celebrities getting engaged within weeks or months of knowing each other,” says Safran. “Instead of assuming that ‘instant click,’ learn how to understand that most quality longterm couples, didn’t know right away or even months later. Sometimes that slow pot to boil is the one that can be the better choice.”

NOT TO SOUND CLICHÉ, BUT RULES WERE LITERALLY MADE TO BE BROKEN. SO GET OUT THERE AND BREAK ‘EM. 31

monogamy /me’ nagemi/ noun the practice of marrying or state of being married to one person at a time.

“Judaism has journeyed from polygamy to strict monogamy”

THE DARK SIDE OF DATING

But what drives us still today to bond with just one person when there are soooo many fish in the sea.

Monogamy is great and understandable when you're in love and the birds are always singing and you're rolling around in your hearts and stars little bubble but why do couples stay together once the honeymoon period is well and truly over and the bubble bursts and bitterness, arguments and sometimes even physical abuse ensue.

Is it mainly because growing up we are conditioned by our parents, religion, TV and schooling to stick with the monogamy tradition, and once coupled, under pressure to prevail no matter what... failure, divorce or god forbid being single judged and frowned upon.

Influenced from the Bible's Adam and Eve to Disney's Prince Charming and Cinderella... everyone is hoping to find their one and only, and dreaming of that happy ever after with their soul mate. From the days of playing with Barbie and Ken through to watching Love Island and First Dates in a fast everchanging progressive society, the evolution of relationships has pretty much stayed the same. Everyone loves a love story and in love with the idea of being in love and praftically, monogamy provides emotional and economical stability, security plus society approval and acceptance.

However monogamy can lead to boredom, taking each other for granted and a dull or non-existent sex life, leaving Monogamy seriously under threat from dating apps such as Tinder and PlentyofFish. Bye exclusivity, hello cheating, increased STIs and paranoaia!

But monogamy amongst many couples still continues as habit, children and the cost of separation trumps polyogamy or even worse being back on the singles market.

Maybe it's time to rethink and just as same sex relationships are now the norm, polygamy will turn that corner too. We just need to get rid of the stigma and not only see it as a crazy religious asian man with a dozen wives afterall all seems to work well in the animal kingdom.

The pros may offer freedom of choice, prevents adultery, abundance of love, support and sexual variety and greater sharing of financial and better work life balance. Poly-amorous websites such as SisterWives and ecen Tinder are now getting on board to explore and open up the dating choices.

Monogamy is difficult to maintain. Sure, it’s easy enough at times when your life is devoid of temptation.

But unless you and your partner live in isolation in a cottage in the woods, there are no guarantees that an attractive “other” will not emerge — to lure you away and challenge the sanctity of your relationship.

Oh no,” you think. ““Not me. I adore my

partner. Things are still so fresh. And I have so much to lose if I were to stray.

“

P

olygamy means having more than one partner at one time, it does not fit in with modern society but still common and accepted in some Muslim, African and Mormon faiths but maybe not to the extent of King Solomon who had 700 wives and 300 concubines.

Yes, of course. But research makes it clear that our best intentions are often worthless in the face of a compelling, and possibly unexpected, attraction to another person — someone intent on connecting with us. Those who report having had an extramarital relationship say it was with a close friend, co-worker or long-term acquaintance; these tend not to be random strangers.

What’s more, an act of infidelity is often understood as the “dealbreaker” in relationships. And few people are abhorred more than those known to have “cheated.”

Movies, songs and literature are replete with stories depicting the appalling retribution believed owed to those who stray.

Despite all this, studies show that most people have in fact engaged in some type of infidelity in the past or have experienced a partner’s infidelity.

The question arises then: Is it time to ditch, or rethink, monogamy as a standard?

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DIVA DATING

back on the 7th of July 2021 every saturday 10pm 36

14TH FEBRUARY 2021 Join us on Valentines day 2020, for Live Music, 2-4-1 cocktails until 2pm to Midnight and 50% off Mains at Selected Location: 1-0-4 BAR: 104 Above Bar St, Southampton SO14 7DS

BEAUFORT BAR: Strand, London WC2R 0EZ

DUSK TIL PAWN: Stevenson Square, Manchester M1 1DN

BE AT ONE: 55 Queens Rd, Bristol BS8 1QQ

IF YOU HAVE A 12 MONTH SUBSCRIPTION EVENTS ARE FREE!

Join CRUSH on Valentines day for cocktails and conversations. The perfect set up for singles to mingle on the day full of love. Get dressed up and meet your match at OUR CRUSH and Cocktails event!

LOOKING OUT FOR NO.1

DIVA DATING

KNOW WHAT YOU WANT NOW WHEN I SAY DATING LIKE A DIVA, I MEAN KNOWING WHAT YOU WANT, BEING PARTICULAR AND OWNING YOUR SHIT. 1. THINK ABOUT YOUR VALUES Often, there’s a common thread between the things we want in different areas of our lives. If you don’t want a 9-5 because you don’t want to commit yourself to one company, for example, maybe you also value your freedom above all else in relationships. If you need reassurance that your job has long-term potential, maybe you need that from your partner, too. “Take the time to reflect on your core values,” Lori Bizzoco, relationship expert and founder of CupidsPulse.com, tells Bustle. “Finding someone who shares the same beliefs can lead to a healthy relationship because you both cherish and want the same things in life.”

2. ASK YOURSELF WHAT’S MADE YOU HAPPY IN THE PAST One clue into what you want in the future is what’s made you happiest in the past. “Find out what are the things that make you happy and make sure that is something you can share with your partner,” says Bizzoco, “whether it’s doing things you both enjoy or how they simply make you feel.”

That said, you also might want to experiment with new relationships and activities before dismissing them.

3. ASK YOURSELF WHAT HASN’T WORKED OUT We can learn just as much from our failures as we can from our successes. “Ask yourself if there was anything you didn’t like about certain relationships or qualities in previous partners,” says Bizzoco. “This will help narrow down what you like and not like.”

this isn’t necessary unless there is something seriously concerning you about your relationship,” psychotherapist Julia Colangelo, LCSW tells Bustle. “My advice is to slow down, step back, and first reflect on your current relationship, reflect on what kind of relationship you always imagined having, and notice the differences.”

5. MAKE A LIST Colangelo recommends making a list of qualities you’ve wanted in a relationship and a partner at different points in your life. Then, notice how these preferences have evolved over time. Do the things that used to be important to you still matter? Have you lost sight of something you’ve always wanted? Try to identify common threads between what you’ve wanted at different points in your life. These commonalities likely reflect your core desires.

6. MEET LOTS OF PEOPLE You don’t always know what you want until it’s in front of you. That’s why dating around can be a self-discovery process. “You have to date different kinds of people to figure out what you like and what you don’t like,” says Seip. “Try meeting people through online dating. You’ll be introduced to a natural pool of people who want to get to know you.”

7. TUNE IN TO YOUR ANXIETY

4. TAKE TIME ALONE

Often, we end up in the same relationships again and again because we ignore red flags. To break this pattern, we have to listen to those feelings of unease that sometimes pop up, says Seip. These tell us what we don’t want — which provides valuable information about what we want.

If you’re in a relationship, periodically take time by yourself to assess it. “Many people assume you need a separation or break in order to “reassess and figure yourself out, but

Before you jump into another relationship, take the time to figure out what you want. It’s only then, after all, that you can pursue it.

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DIVA DATING

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ETTING READY FOR A DATE CAN BE STRESSFUL ENOUGH WITHOUT WORRYING ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO WEAR. HERE WE SHARE TIPS ABOUT WHAT TO WEAR ON A FIRST DATE TO HELP INCREASE YOUR CONFIDENCE

There are a few things you can do to boost your confidence before that daunting first meeting. One of the best weapons in your arsenal is to plan a fool-proof outfit that combines contemporary fashion trends with your own unique sense of style. This sounds good in therory but how does one actually decide what to wear on a first date?

If you’re lacking in the fashion sense department, there’s still hope. Read on for our guide to nailing what to wear on a first date.

Make the most of your existing wardrobe Preparing for what to wear on a first date can be the perfect excuse to hit the shops and pick out some choice new items. But there’s no rule that says a first date outfit has to be completely new. In fact, there’s a lot to be said for raiding your existing wardrobe to come up with the perfect look.

There are two rules to initially bear in mind when you’re planning that first date outfit are:

LOOK LIKE YOURSELF BE COMFORTABLE Maybe you’re seeking a new skirt to go with that favourite date night top, a brand new tie that will complement your guaranteedto-impress suit, or simply some new hair product. Whatever you’re looking for, a trip to the shops before your big date is an inevitability.

Not all of us enjoy shopping, but heading to the high street is a better option than ordering items online when you’re planning for a date. This is because visiting shops in real life lets you try items on before you buy. It’s best to go with an idea in mind but don’t be afraid to try something new and exciting – all that matters it that you feel great in it!

On a practical level, go for items that will be comfortable in a date environment. That means breathable fabrics, garments that don’t restrict your movements, and shoes that don’t need to be worn in.

If you’re still short on inspiration at this point, keep reading! We have some ideas to get those fashion juices flowing.

What to wear on a first date during the day Day dates can be a wonderful thing, but they pose their own set of challenges. Not only are you less able to rely on Dutch courage to get you through those lulls in conversation, you’ve also got to put together a look that will impress away from the flattering low light of a bar.

The good news? Day date outfits are, by nature, more casual and comfy, which will make you feel more at ease in your skin.

You’ll want to tailor the exact look depending on the activity, but suggested items include comfy shoes – so you can go for an impromptu stroll – and a smart jacket or coat (depending on the season).

For women, it’s hard to go wrong with a pair of well-fitting jeans, a blouse and a chic trench. Finish up the look with some leather loafers, subtle silvery jewellery and light natural makeup.

For men, smart jeans or khakis are also a good choice for a day date outfit. Pair with a polo shirt or checked shirt and some boxfresh trainers.

You’ll be pretty much set for any event!

What to wear on a first date at night When it comes to date night outfits it’s all about striking a balance between sex appeal and practicality. You want to look and feel your best, but not at the cost of your comfort, bank balance or ability to eat!

Though an evening date tends to be more straightforward than a day date, you should still tailor your outfit to the activity. If you’re hitting the pub for a pint before getting a curry at your favourite takeaway Indian, a suit or cocktail dress won’t be the ideal choice. An upmarket bar and chic restaurant, on the other hand, will demand a little more care and attention in the wardrobe department.

For women, a classic date dress is hard to beat. Ignore the hot fashion trends of the moment and instead focus on finding something that fits you like a glove, shows off your best features, and puts across your signature style. Pair with comfortable heels or embellished flats, a pair of statement earrings or a chunky necklace, and an appropriate outer layer. Makeup-wise, try to keep things simple and don’t attempt anything you haven’t tried before! As a note, you’ll usually want to choose between a bright lip or a bold eye – both at once can be overwhelming.

For men, it’s the toss-up between a suit or something more casual. In a more laidback setting, a white shirt with smart jeans and brogues can be the perfect look. If you’d rather go formal, wear a well-fitting suit and a smart shirt, with or without a tie.

Details can come in the form of a pocket square and colourmatched belt and shoes.

Last but not least…

Whatever you end up wearing on that important first date, just remember these rules: If you’re not buying new, make sure your clothes are freshly washed and pressed. Get suits and formal dresses dry-cleaned, and take the time to properly iron shirts and blouses!

Polish your shoes Make an effort with your hair – if it’s looking in need of TLC get a trim before your big night Clean and trim your nails (and toenails) Avoid those baggy grey pants and go for some undergarments that are a little easier on the eye – you never know where the night may lead you!

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AN APHRODISIAC IS DEFINED AS A FOOD OR DRUG THAT AROUSES SEXUAL INSTINCT, BRINGS ON DESIRE OR INCREASES SEXUAL PLEASURE OR PERFORMANCE. Several other foods are touted to have aphrodisiac properties. However, their libido- boosting effects are often supported by very little scientific evidence.

Here are some of the most popular of these questionable foods: Chocolate: Compounds in cacao are often touted to have an aphrodisiac effect, particularly in women. However, studies provide little evidence to support this very popular belief.

Oysters: While one study reports that they may have some libidoboosting effects in rats, no studies exist to support the libido-enhancing properties of oysters in humans.

Chasteberry: Studies suggest that this fruit may in uence hormone levels and reduce premenstrual syndrome (PMS) symptoms in women. However, there is no evidence that it offers any libidoboosting benefits.

Honey: It has allegedly been used for centuries to bring romance into marriages. One variety called “mad honey” and is even marketed as a sexual stimulant. Yet, no studies support this,

DIVA DATING

and it may contain dangerous toxins.

Epimedium: Also known as horny goat weed, it’s popular in traditional Chinese medicine for treating ailments like erectile dysfunction. Cell and animal studies provide some early support for this use, but human studies are needed.

Hot chillies: According to popular belief, capsaicin, the compound that gives hot chillies their spiciness, stimulates nerve endings on the tongue, causing the release of sex drive-boosting chemicals.

Alcohol: Alcohol may act as an aphrodisiac by helping both men and women relax and get in the mood.

However, heavy drinking may actually reduce arousal and sexual function, so moderation is key.

The supplements listed above are often said to help increase sexual desire.

However, there is currently limited scientific evidence to support their use as aphrodisiacs.

The Bottom Line - when it comes to boosting sex drive, the list of foods with potential aphrodisiac properties is very long.

However, remember only a small proportion of these supposed aphrodisiacs are actually backed by science, that doesn’t mean there is any harm in trying...

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Aphrodisiac appetisers TAKE PART IN THE EXCITING SPEED DATING EVENT, WHICH ALLOWS YOU TO ENJOY SOME APHRODISIACS WHILE MEETING POTENTIAL LOVERS.

Each table will be provided with a selection of Aphrodisiacs to set the mood and got the conversations flowing.

Singles aged between 18 -35 welcome.

Bring a friend and have some fun, who knows what could happen.

At Selected Locations on March 11th 2021: 1-0-4 BAR: 104 Above Bar St, Southampton SO14 7DS BEAUFORT BAR: Strand, London WC2R 0EZ DUSK TIL PAWN: Stevenson Square, Manchester M1 1DN BE AT ONE: 55 Queens Rd, Bristol BS8 1QQ IF YOU HAVE A 12 MONTH SUBSCRIPTION EVENTS ARE FREE! 44

SINGLE SOCIALS TAKEOVER NIGHT! Every Thursday Night 10pm - 4am

Sponsored by CRUSH .

Singles night EVERY Thursday at all Oceana/Prism.

Be there or be square! £2 - Sour Shots £1.50 - Spirit Shots £10 - 5 Jaeger Bombs £4.50 - Double Spirits

AND more deals at Pre bar 9pm to 12pm

FREE ENTRY WITH SUBSCRIPTION TO CRUSH MAG!

YOU COME FIRST. LOVE YOURSELF OR NOBODY WILL.

E

veryone wants to be loved and we often think that means we need to seek it from other people. But when you seek love from external sources you are allowing it to be taken away from you, which can leave you feeling empty and broken on the inside. Speaking of inside, why don’t we look inside of ourselves for love?

It might seem selfish at first, but after a while, you will realize that before you can truly take care of others, you have to first take care of yourself. This could include engaging in activities that make you happy or spending time alone with your thoughts.

You could even practice stating positive affirmations or reading uplifting quotes to help you view yourself in a better light. Nobody will stand to lose from you choosing to do so.

When you love yourself, you will have a more satisfying life as you feel good about your circumstances and your ability to change them at any given moment. In doing so you are able to spread that positivity with the people around you and encourage them to pour love into themselves as well. You will realize that there are no limits to what you can accomplish if you put your mind to it and you will make healthy choices that will guarantee that you achieve your goals.

Having self-love allows you to have a more fulfilling life because you learn that your happiness isn’t dependent upon anyone but yourself. You don’t mind spending time alone and you are comfortable There is no “right” way to go about loving

yourself more. All you must do is make an active effort to do so and from there find the way that works best for you. It is not the “how” that matters, but the “why.”

DIVA DATING

1. LOVING AND KNOWING YOURSELF MAKES IT EASIER TO SAY “NO” WHEN YOU REALLY NEED TO. When you love yourself, it becomes easier for you to say no to people and things that don’t align with your values. You realize that your time is valuable and that it is better spent on doing the things you love. You stand firm in all of your decisions without fear of how others will respond.

2. IT GIVES YOU ROOM TO HEAL. Loving yourself makes you more open and aware of the healing process. You come to terms with the fact that in life you will get hurt, but that doesn’t mean the pain has to last forever. You acknowledge and accept your bad emotions and then let them go so that you can move forward and fully enjoy living life in the present.

3. SELF-LOVE MAKES IT EASIER TO OPENLY COMMUNICATE WITH OTHERS. Self-love is taking the time out to figure out who you are and what you want. Once you know this you are able to have honest conversations with anyone and everyone. You understand that being upfront about how you feel and what you believe can only improve your relationships with others.

You have standards and are comfortable getting rid of anyone who can’t rise up to them.

4. LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF PREVENTS YOU FROM SEEKING APPROVAL FROM OTHERS. When you truly love yourself, you realize that confidence comes from within and that no one can make you feel as good or as happy as yourself. You become less likely to feel pressured to do things just to be liked. Caring less about the opinions of others gives you the freedom to walk your own path and be your genuine self.

5. YOU BECOME MORE COMFORTABLE WITH THE BAD DAYS. You understand that every day isn’t going to be the best day, where you feel like you can conquer the world. However, instead of wallowing in self-pity, you accept whatever mental and physical state you are in. You find light even in the bad days because you know that even in the down moments there is an opportunity to learn and grow.

6. IF YOU LOVE YOURSELF FIRST, THEN YOU KNOW THAT YOU CAN COUNT ON YOURSELF FIRST.

When you count on yourself, you limit the amount of times you have to depend on other people which limits the amount of times they can let you down. You learn to trust yourself and your ability to be great even when no one else is around to help you or witness your hard work. You become your own cheerleader, encouraging yourself to stay motivated and to break boundaries as you chase your dreams.

7. LOVING YOURSELF ALLOWS YOU TO MAKE HEALTHIER CHOICES. When you put yourself first, you make choices that will only improve your quality of life. You eat better and sleep and exercise more because you realize that taking care of your mental and physical well-being are essential to your success.

When you look better you feel better, and when you feel better, you do better.

8. IT GRANTS YOU THE GIFT OF FORGIVENESS. Holding on to grudges can really keep you down.

When you love yourself you see the power of forgiving yourself and others for things that already happened and therefore can no longer control. You are able to accept responsibility for you actions while still releasing the blame you place on yourself for the harm others have caused you. In doing so, you release the hold others have on you. 9. Giving yourself love and being selfish helps you take charge of your life.

9. FEELING MORE IN CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE COMES WITH REALIZING THE POWER OF CHOICE. You choose when and how you want to live your life. This means that you weigh more heavily on the benefits and consequences of making certain choices that will affect your future. You are then more likely to only make choices that align with your values and will help you honor them.

10. LOVING YOURSELF CAN HELP ACHIEVE THE BEST EMOTIONAL RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHER PEOPLE TOO. When you spend time processing your emotions, you are digging deep inside of yourself and getting to the core of who you are. As you work to love and accept yourself, you encourage othera to do the same. This allows you to open up and connect with others on a deeper level, unafraid to show the parts of yourself that are rough around the edges .

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Music

for your

Moods

CRUSH KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEED! JUST FIND WHATEVER SITUATION RELATES TO YOU AND THIS IS THE TUNE THAT WILL FIT YOUR MOOD. EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS WITH THIS MOOD MUSIC.

DIVA DATING

SINGLE AND...

EMPOWERED: ‘BOSS’ - The Carters SEARCHING: ‘Que sera sera’ - Doris Day LONELY: ‘Me, Myself and I’ - Beyonce CONFUSED: ‘Same Love’ - Macklemore IN LOVE WITH...

A SECRET CRUSH: ‘Locked out of heaven’ - Bruno Mars TWO PEOPLE: ‘Weakness in me’ - Joan Armitage YOURSELF: ‘This Is Me’ - Greatest Showman SOMEONE YOU SHOULDN’T BE: ‘Ruin my Life’ - Zara Larsson DISTANT LOVE: ‘A thousand Miles’ - Vanessa Carlton PARTNER: ‘I would die 4 U’ - Prince IF YOU WERE...

LEFT ON READ: ‘Games’ - Demi Lovato ONE AND DONED: ‘Breakeven’ - Script CHEATED ON: ‘What is love - 7 Mix’ - Haddaway HEARTBROKEN: ‘What now’ - Rihanna DOING SOMETHING YOU SHOULDN’T: ‘watchamacallit’ - Chris Brown ABOUT TO...

GO ON A DATE: ‘Flawless/Feelin’ Myself - Homecoming’ - Beyonce HAVE SEX: ‘Low’ - Larry Gaaga BREAK UP WITH SOMEONE: ‘Not like the movies’ - Katy Perry ARGUE: ‘IDGAF’ - Dua Lipa PROPOSED TO : ‘Million Dollar Bill’ - Whitney Houston PROPOSE: ‘Worth it’ - YK Osiris GO ON A NIGHT OUT: ‘Shining’ - Dj Khaled (Ft. Beyonce and Jay Z) CRY ABOUT AN EX: ‘Let it Go’ by James Bay FEEL ...

HURT: ‘Breathe Me’ -Sia PROMISCUOUS: ‘Motivation’ - Kelly Rowland DIFFERENT: Younger Now’ - Miley Cyrus SUSPICIOUS: ‘Pray you catch me’ - Beyonce NOT GOOD ENOUGH: ‘Confetti’ - Tori Kelly FRIEND ZONED: ‘Friends’ - Marshmallow NERVOUS: ‘Jolene’ - Dolly Parton

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50

52

STAR CROSSED

speaking to the ages speaking to the ages D

OES FATE EXIST? IN A WORLD WHERE SOCIAL MEDIA, TEXTING AND INTERNET DATING ARE A PERMANENT FEATURE IN OUR LIVES, A GOOD OLD FASHIONED TALE OF ROMANCE CAN BE HARD TO COME BY.

IN FACT, ASIDE FROM THE ODD GRAND GESTURE OF LOVE, SOMETIMES IT FEELS LIKE THESE DAYS, YOU’RE MORE LIKELY TO HEAR ABOUT A RELATIONSHIP STARTING AFTER A FACEBOOK “LIKE” THAN A CHAT-UP LINE IN THE PUB.

We both worked at an old movie theater, and I had just gotten out of a bad relationship. We met when my ex decided to pay me an unwelcome visit at my job and I asked my colleague to pretend to be my new boyfriend so my ex would leave me alone.

We've been together for over 40 years."

- Ruby Wilson (60) on how she met her Beau.

My mum and dad was a little bit of fate and a little bit coincidence. My dad had been visiting a fortune tellers to see if he was going to get back with his ex wife, my grandmother was a spiritualist and convinced him to go to spiritualist church with her, he became a regular member and met my mum and uncle. They became friends and after a few months they started to date. They learned while dating that they lived only a few houses away from each other when they where young, their dads had done the same job in the same company knew each other and were friends. And a few other connections like that. My dad even met my mums dad when he was very young. They’d known each other their whole lives without even meeting.

Cute story my old chemistry teacher told me. She had a boy who was brilliant but never tried and failed the class as a result. Next year he was back and she seated him next to a pretty, very smart girl.

You bet he worked his ass off to impress her. They're now married with two kids."

STAR CROSSED

My mum was 16 when she came over to London from France. She lived in a convent of Irish nuns for one year. When she was 22 she came back to London as an Au Pair looking after two children in a flat on the top floor of a four-story Georgian building in Clapham. My Dad was the local police officer who happened to help her carry her shopping one day whilst she dragged the buggy up the four flights of stairs. They met in February 1962, were engaged in April and married in October. None of this seeing each other, followed by going out, then into a relationship as nowadays!

"My parents worked at the same place, and my mum had heard about my dad's reputation there — that he would flirt with 'anything in a skirt.' So she called him into her office one day to chastise him for sleeping with so many staff members and making the office environment uncomfortable. But my dad was so smooth that he didn't get written up...he got a date."

"One day, my grandmother was sleeping at her best friend's house. Her best friend had a brother, who was doing his military service, and was supposed to come back two weeks later, so both of the girls decided my grandmother would sleep in her brother's bed. Turns out he was already at home, in his bed, and when she went into that bed she woke him up, he said something like 'Ho. Hello!'.

A few months later, they got married, and one year after my mother was born."

"My parents met when my mum and her friend were on a double date with two guys who ended up being total creepers. They ducked into a hotel to escape the guys, and the night desk manager — my dad — hid them behind the front desk."

"Back in the 1960s, one of my aunts was working as a waitress on roller skates, who would go up to people in cars and serve them. She wasn't very good at the job and ended up spilling coffee all over one of her customers. She apologised and ran in to get napkins. When she came back, he gave her a piece of paper with his number and said, 'it was an absolute pleasure, let's get coffee again some time'.

50 years later, they still love to tell the story of how they met."

"Friend had been on a flight from London to Australia to go travelling for a few months - she didn't have a full itinerary planned, but roughly knew what she was doing. She was travelling alone, but her seat mate struck up a conversation.

They had a great time, and found out they'd even studied the same subject at university. They parted ways when they landed in Hong Kong. When they boarded the next flight in Hong Kong, however, they found they were again seated next to each other. Upon landing in Australia, the guy was supposed to go on to New Zealand, but they both decided to ditch their plans, and travel together.

They've been together ever since."

"A friend of ours was married and found out he had cancer. His wife left him because fuck that, I guess. A friend of his with really good insurance suggested they get married just for the benefits for him medically. After a while it just clicked that they actually loved each other very much and they stayed married even after he went into remission and are one of the coolest couples we know."

My mum went to school with my dad and she told her mum she was going to marry him when she was only 5 years old! They married when she was 23 and he was 24 and have been together for 50 years this year.

"I kept running into my husband over several months, even though we lived in a major city with a pretty sizeable population. The first time we met I was at a bar with my roommate, he was there with a friend. His friend tried to hit on me but I wasn’t interested. He introduced me to his companion (my future husband) while he was trying to chat me up.

We left and I forgot all about this encounter.

“A few weeks later I was at the same bar. My husband remembered my name and face and was like, ‘Hey, remember me? We met here a few weeks ago.’ I barely remembered him. We talked for a few minutes and I thought he was cute, but as soon as I got flirty with him he bailed on the conversation.

I forgot about him and went on with my evening.

“A few months later I was at a concert. My husband saw me in the crowd and started with the hey-wemet-before routine. He still remembered my name.

We talked for a few minutes but I was out with friends I needed to get back to. That time I got my husband’s number and said we should meet up on purpose some time. Before I even got a chance to call him I ran into him again a few nights later at a DJ night. I asked if he was following me but he swore he wasn’t. I finally ended up calling him and we’ve been together ever since. Thanks, universe!”

"This bloke and his wife at my church knew each other since preschool. So they're very young, [about] four or five. He writes the girl a little note in awful handwriting that says 'Will you marry me?' essentially. They stay friends through elementary, middle, and high school because this is Wales and our town is small, church community even smaller. Anyways they ended up being high school sweethearts and broke up or were on a break when he went to university. BUT her mum kept the note he had written way back in preschool and gave it to him when he returned, and he used it to propose."

speaking to the ages speaking to the ages 55

THE STORIES OF LOVERS WHO BELIEVED IN EACH OTHER AND THEIR LOVE EVEN IF THE WHOLE WORLD WAS AGAINST THEM STILL INSPIRE AND OFTEN, MAKE US SAD. A CLOSER INVESTIGATION OF THE GREATEST LOVE STORIES IN HISTORY REVEALS THAT MANY OF THE MOST FAMOUS LOVERS MET A TRAGIC END. THEY DID, HOWEVER, SHOW US THAT TRUE LOVE IS STRONGER THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD. AND IT IS THE LOVE THAT THEY HAD WE ARE ALL HOPPING TO FIND SOMEDAY. OF COURSE, WITH A HAPPIER ENDING.

LANCELOT AND GUINEVERE The story of Lancelot and Guinevere is a part of the Arthurian legend. It is thought to have been inspired or influenced by that of Tristan and Iseult. Just like the latter, Lancelot and Guinevere are adulterous lovers.

Guinevere is married to King Arthur who, just like King Mark does not suspect anything at first. He eventually finds out about his wife being unfaithful to him with one of his most loyal knights. The Knights of the Round Table split into two groups, supporting either Arthur or Lancelot. After several fierce battles between the two men, Guinevere returns to King Arthur but the destruction of the Round Table enables Mordred to challenge Arthur. The legendary king kills his rival but he is mortally wounded. Guinevere, devastated for being responsible for the destruction of the Round Table and subsequent Arthur’s downfall enters a convent. Lancelot enters a hermitage and eventually becomes a priest. Both spend the rest of their lives in repentance.

CLEOPATRA AND MARK ANTONY The love between the Egyptian pharaoh Cleopatra and Mark Antony went into history for their tragic end. Both committed suicide after they were defeated by the Romans under Octavian (the later Augustus) although Cleopatra hesitated. After Mark Antony’s suicide (he stabbed himself after receiving a false news that his lover was dead), Cleopatra tried to negotiate with Octavian. According to most sources, she killed herself by inducing an asp to bite her when she realized that she cannot “charm” Octavian. Cleopatra and Mark Antony are said to be buried together but the location of their tomb remains a mystery.

STAR CROSSED

SHAH JAHAN AND MUMTAZ MAHAL Their names may largely be unfamiliar to most people in the West but their love produced a monument that is famous all over the world – Taj Mahal. Shah Jahan and Mumtaz Mahal were Mughal Royal couple who shared a loving marriage until Mumtaz died while giving birth to their 14th child. Shah Jahan was devastated by his wife’s death and plunged into deep grief that affected him both emotionally and physically. But his grief inspired him to build one of the world’s greatest architectural masterpieces to serve as the final resting place of his beloved wife. Shortly after completing Taj Mahal, Shah got ill and was overthrown by his eldest son. He spent the rest of his life in house arrest and was buried next to his wife. The legend has it that he planned to build an exact copy of Taj Mahal in black marble on the opposite bank of the river Yamuna but the works never started.

BONNIE AND CLYDE Bonnie and Clyde, lovers and criminals who travelled the Central United States during the Great Depression were not considered as romantic back then as they are today.

Their gang was responsible for at least nine police officer and several civilian deaths. It is unsure how the couple met but it is thought that it was love at a first sight. When Bonnie and Clyde met (probably in 1930), the latter already had a criminal record but that obviously did not bother Bonnie. She decided to join him in his criminal undertakings and stayed with him until the very end.

They were ambushed by the police in Bienville Parish, Louisiana in 1934 and killed. The couple wanted to be buried together but Bonnie’s family did not allow it.

ROMEO AND JULIET Probably the most famous love story of all was written by the celebrated English poet and playwright William Shakespeare sometime in the 1590s. Shakespeare’s story of the tragic love between Romeo and Juliet is probably based on Arthur Brooke’s poem The Tragical History of Romeus and Juliet that was published in the 1560s. The latter is believed to be an English translation of a novella of Italian writer Matteo Bandello. But even his Romeo and Juliet are not original.

The story reveals a major influence of ancient tragic love stories, most notably of the Roman story of Pyramus and Thisbe whose families despise each other and prevent the lovers to be together. Just like Pyramus kills himself, falsely believing that Thisbe is dead, Romeo also commits suicide for mistakenly believing that Juliet is dead. Thisbe follows her lover in death upon discovering his dead body which is exactly what Juliet does when she finds Romeo dead. Both Thisbe and Juliet stab themselves but Romeo, unlike Pyreus who stabs himself with his sword, drinks a poison.

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Love might just be the most confusing—but beautiful—sentiment we experience as humans. But one look at our social media feeds, and it seems as though astrology memes and Instagram horoscopes proclaiming which signs are the most compatible are sending us the message that our love lives are predetermined by the stars.

As an astrologer myself, the most frequently asked questions I receive from clients are about their relationships.

People don’t ask “Will I be successful?” or “What’s in my future?” But instead: “Are we astrologically compatible?”

Helping someone find an answer requires much more than just looking at both parties’ Sun signs, however. It also calls for a deep dive within each person’s astrological chart, which is made up of three elements.

First, there’s your Sun Sign, which most people know as their main zodiac sign, the aspect of your chart that signifies your ego. Then, there’s your Moon Sign, which shapes your emotional outlook.

And finally, you have a rising sign, which is the face you show to the world.

(If you want to figure out all three of your own signs, I recommend checking out Cafe Astrology’s website.)

STAR CROSSED

Taking a deeper look within your astrology chart can help identify relationship triggers, problems, and compatibility. Looking at the affinity between sun signs only allows us to scratch the surface of the deep connection both parties share.

Timing, nurture, and nature are also key factors. After all, two people could have the perfect matching sun signs and make great lovers, but they may not be ready to commit, just like two people with disparate signs might love one another enough to make it work, no matter what.

Bottom line: Anyone can get along with anyone—no matter what sun sign you are. Relationships take dedication and devotion. Astrological compatibility can point out our romantic tendencies and desires, and we can all use our astrological charts as roadmaps to and our perfect match. But at the end of the day, as the astrologer Anne Ortelee famously put it: “If it’s in our hearts, it’s in our charts.” The same rings true for love.

THE MOST COMPATIBLE ZODIAC SUN SIGNS: Fire signs (Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius) stereotypically tend to get along best with other Fire and Air signs: Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius.

Earth signs (Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn) often vibe best with other Earth and Water signs: Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces.

Air signs—Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius—match well with other Air and Fire signs: Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius.

Water signs—Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces—will often find a good match with Water and Earth signs: Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn.

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QPID

Q: I’M CONFUSED ABOUT MY SEXUALITY

Q: I’M EMBARRASSED TO STILL BE A VIRGIN

A: Although attitudes towards being gay have changed a great deal - and for the better - in the last 20 years, people still worry a lot about their sexuality. Some suspect they are gay because they are fantasising about others of the same sex, or they may find themselves falling for a samesex friend. Worrying about bisexuality is also a common concern.

A: While this is more commonly a question from people in their late teens and early 20s, you’d be surprised how many older people worry about being virgins. For the young, the main issue is peer pressure, and the idea that virginity is something to be rid of. For older people, remaining a virgin can lead to a fear of intimacy, preventing romantic relationships from developing.

I find that people seem to want to put labels on themselves but that’s not always possible, or helpful. Sexuality exists on a spectrum and many people don’t fit into a neat box. Often, your sexuality is fluid, or changes over time, depending on life experience, who you meet etc. And many people enjoy a period of experimentation. What’s essential is that you are able to accept your own sexual identity and not feel ashamed about it. This can be easier said than done if you fear disapproval from friends, family or peers. So talking to someone who understands is vital, whether it’s a friend or a stranger. When answering questions about confused sexuality I always try to provide links to helpful organisations.

I always stress two points. The first is that nobody should ever feel under pressure to have sex, unless they are certain they are ready. A decent partner will be patient. The second is that being a virgin, whatever your age is nothing to be embarrassed about. In fact, it’s possible that your partner might not even be aware you’re a virgin, unless you choose to tell them. And some people are happy that they’re with someone who hasn’t slept around, instead waiting for a special relationship.

Q: HOW DO I GET OVER HIM/HER? A: The end of first love is particularly painful, but coping with rejection and loss never gets any easier.

Sometimes people ask me to explain why their expartner broke up with them. As an outsider, this is impossible for me to do. I point out that some relationships just run their course – at least as far as one partner is concerned. Some people feel they need space and time alone, while others transfer their general unhappiness or dissatisfaction with life on to their relationships, because they’re an easy thing to change. But often, if people are honest, they’ll see there are clear issues which haven’t been acknowledged or dealt with.

Q: I’M WORRIED I’LL BE SINGLE FOREVER. WHY CAN’T I MEET ANYONE? A: This is a universal question, which spans the generations. Technology may have provided new ways to meet potential dates, but it actually seems to have made it harder for people to form meaningful relationships. There’s simply too much choice on offer. It’s all too easy to swipe on to the next person.

When I answer this, I aim to provide reassurance, as well as practical advice. Nothing stays the same, so being single now - even if it’s been for a long time - does not mean you’ll always be single. But if you want a relationship, you can’t be passive. You need to be open to all opportunities, get involved in activities that interest you, go out and meet people. Making friends is important; friendship can lead to romance, or it can provide an opportunity to meet other new people. The other thing to stress is that some relationships are slow burners, so you shouldn’t dismiss potential partners just because they don’t fulfil your checklist of attributes. What you think you want might not be what you actually want.

QPID

Q: WHY HAS MY PARTNER GONE OFF SEX? A: Many women AND men go through periods in which they either don’t want to, or can’t, have sex, and this can have a big impact both on their partner’s self-esteem and the relationship.

I try to reassure people that when their partner goes off sex it’s very rarely because they’ve stopped fancying them, or because they’re having an affair.

There are many reasons for a sex drought, both physical (the menopause, testosterone deficiency, some medications etc.) and psychological (stress, depression, other problems in the relationship etc.) and often they need help from either a GP or a counsellor, or both, to solve it. It’s also important to say that when lack of sex becomes an issue in a relationship, worrying about it/nagging their partner to try again can make things worse.

Although it sounds counter-intuitive, taking sex off the agenda altogether is often what’s necessary.

Instead, couples need to focus on getting back in touch with each other emotionally, with nonsexual affection, until both feel ready to reintroduce physical intimacy.

Q: COULD I BE PREGNANT? A: The answer to this is, generally, yes. Because when women write to me with this question, it’s almost always after having unprotected sex, and often when their period is already late. Usually, they already know the answer, but don’t want to accept it until they hear it from somebody else. It’s the human condition to believe that bad things only happen to other people.

Women in this situation don’t need an agony aunt. They need a pregnancy test, a doctor’s appointment and a review of their contraception options. Of course, I’m always sympathetic and I don’t judge. I gently encourage them to seek help as soon as possible.

your love

letters

Love of my life,

Honey,

I cannot believe another year has passed. It feels like we just met yesterday, but at the same time it feels like I have known you all my life. You make time meaningless. In fact, you make everything else feel meaningless because the only thing that matters is you. You have brought so much light into my life. I would be lost without your torch. Thank you for everything you have done for me — and thank you for helping me grow into the woman I have become.

From Jess C

I don’t want to wait until your birthday or our anniversary to remind you how much you mean to me. Hint: You mean everything. I know I don’t always say how I’m feeling because I have a nasty habit of keeping my heart guarded, but I hope you realize how much I care about you. I never thought it was possible to have this much love for someone, I never thought my heart could handle it. I know there are days when we argue and don’t see eye-to-eye, but you are the only person I would want to have those arguments with. (Besides, the make up sex isn’t half bad).

To my forever person,

From The love of your life, Hannah <3

I love us. We’re the cutest. I know that sounds braggy, but I mean it when I say that I think we make the perfect couple. We understand each other.

We listen to each other. We inspire each other to become stronger with each passing day. Happy anniversary. I cannot wait to spend another year alongside you, because there is no place I would rather be. You’re stuck with me. You better remember that!

Hot stuff,

Lucy Jacobs X My dearest

I wanted to write you a love letter, but it’s going to sound more like a thank you note. Maybe it’s both. I want to thank you for washing the dishes when I forget my dirty ones are still in the sink. I want to thank you for agreeing to watch shitty reality shows with me and letting me pick the songs during car rides even though we have completely different tastes. I want to thank you for all of the hugs you have offered me to squeeze the sadness out and all of the pep talks you have given me when I doubted myself. Most of all, I want to thank you for existing.

Thank you for being my partner. Thank you for being my best friend in the world.

From You Know who ;) xxx

You. Me. Our bedroom. Ten o’clock and not a second later. Be there and wear those sexy boxers that make your ass look delicious. Don’t worry, I’ll be wearing something you like as well… Can’t wait to undress you. XOXO Tessa Daniels ;) Babe, Maybe I shouldn’t be telling you this, maybe this is the worst idea I have ever had, but I cannot get you off of my mind. My friends keep pushing me to get over you, but the thing is that I don’t want to get over you. I don’t want to erase your texts from my phone or your pictures from my camera roll. (No, I still haven’t done those things. Have you?) I know we had our problems, but I believe we can work through them if we both put in the effort. I am willing to do that. I am willing to fight for you. I hope you are willing to do the same.

Daniel S

You guys handed in some top tips for dating and these are our Top Picks from your Top Tips: Banish Your Phone.

- Be present, this is a great way to make a first impression.

Mimic.

-This lets your date feel more comfortable. Also a great test to see if they’re interested they will subconsciously copy you.

Try crossing your arms if they do the same, they are defo interested!

Plan A Few Conversation Topics Before hand.

- Think of some questions to use if the conversation goes a little bit dry.

Don't Over share.

-You never know what they might pick up on, and the more you gradually release information about yourself the more they will want to know, play it cool.

Stay Positive.

- Even the Karma Sutra says you want to try stay positive at all times with your partner as then they will always remember everything about you to be positive.

Make Eye Contact, But Not Too Much.

- Eyes are the gateway to the soul. Now that’s sexy.

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NOT VERY PROFESSIONAL "I'd been dating a guy for about a month, and things were going great. We were seeing each other at least four times a week, he kept mentioning how he'd never felt like this about a woman before, and I was pretty sure he was The One. That is, until I got a message from him asking to be his friend on LinkedIn. I responded, then looked through his connections-one was a woman with the same last name as him. Because I'm curious, I did some digging-I assumed it was his sister. No, based on a Google search, it was his wife. Of course, I immediately called him out-and he insulted me, calling me a stalker!" -Kelly, 31 SO…GUESS WE'RE NOT "FRIENDS"?

"I'd been dating a guy for three months when we got into a bad argument. We decided that we'd talk the next day, when we were both calmer. By the time I got home, I checked Facebook, where I saw he'd updated his status: 'Well, guess I'm single again. Blergh.'

Seriously? I never thought we'd broken up-I just assumed we were in the middle of a fight!" -Annabelle, 26 THE LANGUAGE OF BREAKUPS IS UNIVERSAL “I met a cute guy in Croatia while I was traveling, and we were having so much fun hanging out that I decided to cancel my hostel reservation for the rest of the week and stay at his place. Then, I checked his Facebook. The status updates were in Croatian, but I ran them through Google translate because I was curious what was on his mind. Big mistake: He had posted several statuses complaining about how annoying I was being!” -Ashley, 28 SWIPE LEFT “I’d been dating my then-boyfriend for six months when I started playing on my friend’s Tinder account. She was single, and I was curious how the whole thing worked. And within five people, I ran into a photo of my boyfriend. Worse: I’d been the one to take the picture!” -Molly, 24 TWEET AND TELL “After what I thought was a fun date with a new guy, I turned to Internet intel and found his Twitter feed. His last Tweet was right after our date: Why is it that girls who look slutty never go home with me? I resisted the urge to Tweet back: Maybe because they aren’t turned on by super creeps. Needless to say, I never saw him again.” -Lexi, 27 NOPE, I’M JUST IGNORING YOU “I went on about six dates with a guy before I decided that there just wasn’t enough chemistry to continue seeing him. I broke it off over text (I know, I know …). He started messaging me on Gmail, Twitter … and finally even LinkedIn! His LinkedIn message asked me if I was ignoring him or if I just hadn’t seen his other messages. Seriously? Why would I not be checking my e-mail, but be checking my LinkedIn? It didn’t make sense and made me even more certain that I’d made the right decision to get out of the relationship when I did.” -Ellen, 24 ONE DATE, TWO IDENTITIES “I met a guy on Tinder whose name was Nick. He and I exchanged e-mail addresses after the first date. His e-mail handle included his first and last name. Not much came up when I Googled him, but a Facebook page with his photo came up, so I didn’t think much of it.

About a month later, he told me he had something to tell me. Turns out, his real name was completely different than what he’d given me. He said that he created a fake name and Facebook page to protect him from creeps while dating-not realizing that his behavior was what was creepy!” -Summer, 26

QPID

“Today I went on date with a guy I met online... He brought his mum” - Alex 21 “One time I went on a date to the movies and at the end I just got up and left because I totally forgot he was there” - Imogen 19 “I went on a date with a cute guy, drank too much wine AND threw up after our first kiss URH!” - Levi 23 “I’m often attracted to older men. I was on a date not too long ago and the waitress said ‘Father daughter dinner?, That’s so sweet!’ Awkward” - Beth 23 “Went on a first date and pulled out my phone to show him something. His Facebook, Twitter and Instagram were all open on my browser” - Jas 26 “I once told a girl ‘I love you’ on a date because I couldn’t figure out a way to say I didn’t want to date her” -James 20 “Just told a guy I went out with to shower on our next date because he smelled horrible on our last date...” Sammy 23 “I was on a date once and the dude turned up the radio while I was talking and told me to ‘Shhh’ ... I just sat there in shock for the ride home” - Becky 19

“Once went on a date with a guy who was having a great time and ordered a large steak at dinner, I wanted to leave so only ordered chips, so I could get out of there as fast as possible then he tried to split the bill!” - Nav 21 “One time I agreed to go on a date with a guy I had a bad feeling about, so I googled him and found his four mugshots, his real age and his daughter, who was closer to my age than he was.” - Emma 24 “I went on a date to the Wizarding world of Harry Potter . I ended up crying so hard that I ended up peeing my pants.” - Jessica 20 “I once tried eating a plastic fork on a date to try and impress her, it didn’t work.” - Mark 22 “One time I was on a date with a guy, who popped my white-head pimple and licked it up. I didn’t see him again” - Darcy 28 “For our anniversary, we went on a date to a fancy restaurant. Our waitress?

“THE” ex. FML.” - Carla 26 “I was on a date and the guy walked out on me because I was talking about Star Wars too much, Whoops.” - Pete 18

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