Issue 38 by Jack Swan

Issue #38 FREE

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C�n��nt� 4: 6: 26: 36: 32: 36: 40: 42: 44: 50: 54: 56: 60: 62: 64: 66: 68:

Editorial Leigh Dineen Talks Commercial Bodde’s Eleven What The Fans Think Dont Mention The War What The Fans Think The Top 2 Inches Picture Quiz Jokes By Spense Mel’s Memories Pictures Of The Month Player Odds Monk: A Complete Manager? More From Spense Vital Information What Would You Do With Michu Mind Puzzles

72:

Letter Of Complaint

76: 74:

Jack Swan Tries

82: 86: 88: 90: 92: 94: 96: 98:

Jack Swan Eats Food Bbq Pictures The Secret Breakfasteer Competition Are You Made Of Stars? Pub For Kids Parentless Parenting Quiz Answers

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When did we become a side that would have a 26 year old Swedish international goalkeeper sitting on the bench? For me, that is the most significant signing that we have made to date in terms of showing how big a club we are now. Who are ‘big clubs’ and who aren’t always raises eyebrows and creates discussions. If you are a Liverpool supporter then you judge a club by how successful they were in the 80s, if you are a Derby fan then the early 70s is what really matters and if you are unfortunate enough to be a Cardiff fan then the whole world evolves around some FA-Cup year back in black and white. Whether we are historically a big club or not is completely irrelevant, at the end of the day it is all about the here and now and at this very second in time, we are the 29th richest club in the world and still on the up! We are currently a more attractive club for players than Lazio, Deportivo, FC Porto, Hamburg, Ajax and pretty much any other European club bar a handful or two. As I write this, we have calmly added a quality left back and a striker/winger to the squad as well as our goalkeeper and there is little fuss about anything. We know what to expect, we know that we are going to improve, sign quality players and spend very little money and what is actually unique about this is that we are happy.

manager of the day to sign whoever they want with our full backing (pretty much; we couldn’t see the sense in Ngog from the off!) and that takes pressure off them; it means that they can pick who they want and need and not who we want. So many clubs demand ‘marquee signings’ and they rarely come off, we have quite a boring track record in the transfer market and that is what we have become used to but its effective and that’s what really matters. I expect that we will get a couple more new faces in over the next few weeks. It is just all very calm and easy though isn’t it! Suppose this is what it’s like being a well run big club; now there isn’t many of them!!! For me, this is the best issue of Jack Swan that we have ever put together. I hope you are going to love it. We have a fantastic feature with Leigh Dineen, taking an in-depth look at the commercial side of the club, we also have some brilliant stories from the great Mel Nurse and our Swans Eleven comes from the one and only Ferrie Bodde. We have all the other contributions as ever, I hope you enjoy! Cheers

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There are very few supporters across football that are as relaxed about signings and have as much faith in their club as we do here at SA1. Rightfully so as the club have a long track record in being right but we do actually deserve some bizarre credit for that too. We allow the board and

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We can all clearly see how the club has developed on the pitch but as we are in close-season, I met up with Leigh Dineen to discuss how the club is progressing off it; specifically looking at the Commercial side of the club. As well as being vice chairman of the club, you are also head of the Commercial Department. What does that involve? I oversee everything that goes on commercially, my main duty is dealing with main partnerships and looking at sponsorship deals, partners, our shirt and then anything else which we need to look at to push ourselves forward. I usually put things in place, obviously I’ve got a very good, young team under me and I delegate a lot down. I’ve got marketing, hospitality, commercial, merchandise and so it is split into four or five groups really. Ticketing is run by the stadium but we generally oversee it because they run it on our behalf and so when we put a new system in place then they come to us and we decide how we want to go with it.

sometimes that was difficult. As we have stabilised and spent more time in the Premier league it has become easier to talk to brands and brands want to be associated with us. Brand awareness is certainly there now; our sponsorship and partnership deals are stronger. Our merchandise sales go up every year and the systems which we put in place, from ticketing to social media are getting stronger. From my, very basic studies (I read the guardian online); the club earned £9 million via commercial income for the 2013/14 season. How does that break down, what is included in that?

On the field the club is performing incredibly well and above expectation, how are we doing commercially off the field? The target that we set ourselves every year is to get better, to move forward, increase our brand awareness, to increase the revenues which come in. It is always helped by how we do on the field and we know that. We are still relatively new to the Premier League; the first couple of years were a lot more difficult because people were looking at you and wondering if you were going to stay in the Premier League and whether they wanted their brand associated with a relegation scrap and so

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South Wales Leading Fencing Suppliers & Installer It breaks down into merchandising, our main front of shirt sponsors, our other partnerships, hospitality and general advertising, that sort of thing. When you say hospitality, what do you mean exactly? We are actually limited with our hospitality as we only really have one and a half lounges as such, we can only put in 220 – 230 people at one time; plus our boxes and so the hospitality is the lounges on a match by match basis and I think it also includes food ordered in boxes etc… So that is your hospitality but we are very limited with it, we have got one room which holds about 150 and we have a business club which holds 70 -80 people.

The target for this years merchandise is £3.5 to £3.75 million. That is incredible isn’t it, from where we were When we first came to the stadium, I believe we were somewhere between £100,000 and £200,000. People think that it is all down to vast overseas sales but it really isn’t. Could you tell us what the break down is of different parts of the world, how much is very local, USA etc.. I can look at the spreadsheets and break it right

And that is only on match days? Oh no there is masses going on outside of match days but that is stadium. The stadium has a contract with a catering company which is FMC but that’s the stadium and not the football club. Is that much of an income? If or when we buy the stadium could that be lucrative? Yes I suppose that if we expanded and there were more conference and banqueting suites available then yes I suppose there would be more revenue. Would we take more revenue from it as it is now now? The money from that goes towards the running costs of the stadium and so if you own the stadium then you get the running costs and so it won’t make a lot of difference unless we can run it better.

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It breaks down into merchandising, our main front of shirt sponsors, our other partnerships, hospitality and general advertising, that sort of thing. When you say hospitality, what do you mean exactly? We are actually limited with our hospitality as we only really have one and a half lounges as such, we can only put in 220 – 230 people at one time; plus our boxes and so the hospitality is the lounges on a match by match basis and I think it also includes food ordered in boxes etc… So that is your hospitality but we are very limited with it, we have got one room which holds about 150 and we have a business club which holds 70 -80 people.

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down, I can break it down by country; our biggest market was America last year, Australian was large. The Asian market isn’t that big; people think that it’s a big sales area. The Asian population supports Premier league football but they support the big top 4 in the main. Educating them to support other clubs not only takes time but a lot of marketing spend. We have a lot of good work and feeling out in Asia and China but how many can afford a £50 - £60 shirt? They can’t! The problem we have is counterfit shirts, we have our own brand protection manager and she is almost full time closing down counterfit over there because if you see someone walking around in China in a Swans shirt, then the chances are is that it isn’t a real one. People perceive that 20,000 shirts are sold in Asia but it just doesn’t happen. I remember one football club had an Asian front of shirt sponsor and they thought that they could tackle the Asian market and actually sold in the region of 35 shirts there. Our targets are more progressed markets Australia, Ireland, America, then you look at Europe but Europe has its own strong leagues anyway and actually in Spain for example, people don’t tend to buy that many shirts so when Barca and Real Madrid sell twenty million shirts, it is mainly from the rest of the World and not in Spain. Could you give me a guestimate of how many shirts we have sold in America over the last twelve months? We just done a deal actually to go into 3 big sports American sites and they have bought the shirts to stock which is good. Last year, I wouldn’t say we did more than 500. It’s getting there, it does take time, and it is building the brand. I always look at the

likes of Aston villa who have been in the Premier League since the start and in reality; is their brand any bigger than ten years ago? Probably not and so it is very difficult to build it. The Premier League is a big brand but we are just a small cog in that. Being successful on the pitch, winning things is the key. The £9 million pound was a 50% increase on the previous year. That is impressive, what do you put that down to? I think our partnership deals are getting better which helps. In marketing, you can only market from the budget that you have been given and we haven’t had big budgets. The club are recognising now that we need bigger budgets and with that budget we are beginning to market better. You only

10 L�i�� D�� T��k� C��r�i�� down, I can break it down by country; our biggest market was America last year, Australian was large. The Asian market isn’t that big; people think that it’s a big sales area. The Asian population supports Premier league football but they support the big top 4 in the main. Educating them to support other clubs not only takes time but a lot of marketing spend. We have a lot of good work and feeling out in Asia and China but how many can afford a £50 - £60 shirt? They can’t! The problem we have is counterfit shirts, we have our own brand protection manager and she is almost full time closing down counterfit over there because if you see someone walking around in China in a Swans shirt, then the chances are is that it isn’t a real one. People perceive that 20,000 shirts are sold in Asia but it just doesn’t happen. I remember one football club had an Asian front of shirt sponsor and they thought that they could tackle the Asian market and actually sold in the region of 35 shirts there.

Our targets are more progressed markets Australia, Ireland, America, then you look at Europe but Europe has its own strong leagues anyway and actually in Spain for example, people don’t tend to buy that many shirts so when Barca and Real Madrid sell twenty million shirts, it is mainly from the rest of the World and not in Spain. Could you give me a guestimate of how many shirts we have sold in America over the last twelve months? We just done a deal actually to go into 3 big sports American sites and they have bought the shirts to stock which is good. Last year, I wouldn’t say we did more than 500. It’s getting there, it does take time, and it is building the brand. I always look at the

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have to look at the kit launch video which I personally think is going to be the best kit launch video out there this year. I don’t think anybody is going to surpass that but it cost a lot of money but we already saw the benefits from the first day’s sales. Are we expecting to see that continue to rise?

council? The stadium benefits from it not any individual partner, the stadium is ten years old and so it is coming to the stage now where it needs more maintenance in its cycle and so the upkeep is getting more expensive. So getting a partner in helps that and so if anyone thinks that we would be quid’s in if we get say £3 million a year naming rights (which is a pie in the sky figure) then it’s sadly not the case as it is needed for the running costs.

Yeah, I think we are. Year on year we look for strong partnerships and to increase the value of these not only for us but for the partner. That has happened again this coming year . The longer we are in the But there will be cushions on everyone’s seats? Premier the bigger our brand recognition is and with that for instance our Front of Shirt carries more HA-HA, only on mine!! value to the sponsor, I would expect our next deal to far surpass the one we have now although that’s not to say it isn’t hard to get the right deal. As we speak I know of one Premier league side who hasn’t got one for next season yet. Then we look at the kit and how we can maximise sales there and I can only see that going up. As long as the product is good! So yeah, my task, which is a simple task is to keep going forward. We have been together as a board for twelve years and all they keep saying to me is to keep it moving forward just as we do on the football pitch as well; small steps but we are increasing revenues each year with better partners. And the stadium: is the naming rights coming up for that soon? Yeah, it is up for renewal now and we are talking to partners. I say ‘we’, it is a stadium thing, I’m also a director for the stadium and so am doing what I cant to try help bring it in; we have a couple of eggs in the basket, put it that way. Will the club benefit from that as well as the

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Cardiff posted an £11 million income from commercial activities during their sole Premier League year. What is that about? I really wouldn’t know. I don’t know what they include to have given them that. I don’t know what the value of the front of shirt is, I have an idea and I think that you would probably have to look at how does one keep within financial fair play and one way to do that is through commercial activities. I think Man City posted something like £170 million I think they probably got a fantastic deal with Ethiad: more than anyone would expect! Umm Yes!!! We seem to have a very specific game plan when it comes to buying players. Do we have that same game plan when we invest in commercial avenues? Most of what we do is via our marketing and so we sit down with the marketing and merchandise manager; media will sometimes be included to make sure we are giving out the correct message. The copper stripes started 18 months ago, it was an idea that we wanted to do something different, something aligned to the stadium and the city and from that it has taken eighteen months to get everything done, designed and get marketing concept correct. We are already looking to a years time and in fact I have a meeting after this about next season’s shirt, we already have designs and ideas for that. How involved do you get personally in that or do you leave it to the design experts?

Perhaps I shouldn’t be but I get very involved in it. Its probably because I have been here twelve years and for a lot of that time it was just me and one other person where we were involved in everything, we know the rules, what we are allowed to do, what we can’t do, there are masses of rules which we have to abide by with the Premier league and our partners. For example with Adidas we have to follow certain guidelines, they won’t let us do certain things. The Premier League then, we have to make sure that there is room for their badges, certain sizes; the sponsor logo has to be within a certain size. In the football league you can have back of shirt but then the back of shirt and front of shirt have to be within a certain size, so its all that type. So I suppose I like to have a say in it all but I certainly don’t get my own way all the time as the team I have are strong and have their own thoughts and ideas. .

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Most of what we do is via our marketing and so we sit down with the marketing and merchandise manager; media will sometimes be included to make sure we are giving out the correct message. The copper stripes started 18 months ago, it was an idea that we wanted to do something different, something aligned to the stadium and the city and from that it has taken eighteen months to get everything done, designed and get marketing concept correct. We are already looking to a years time and in fact I have a meeting after this about next season’s shirt, we already have designs and ideas for that. How involved do you get personally in that or do you leave it to the design experts?

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16 L�i�� D�� Which player sells the most shirts at the club? It is usually a goal scorer isn’t it. Do you know, I don’t actually know the answer to that but I imagine that it was Wilf when he was here, I would suspect now that Gomis will have a lot with his name on it, the new signing will to and then maybe Jonjo’s, the creative goal scorers usually. Bless the guys who do the hard work at the back, the back four don’t get as many names. And so we aren’t getting many for Ki either? This idea that the Korean market is huge and raking in millions isn’t quite right? Absolutely not. I doubt we have sold more than 60 or 70 shirts in South Korea. I read somewhere that when James Rodriguez made his move to Real Madrid, the club sold 345,000 shirts with his name on in 48 hours, raising over £20 million and have paid off the £63 million purchase comfortably since. As a club, do you consider this when buying players?

think that it would be a good commercial investment, would that come into play? It is an investment into the playing squad, it isn’t an investment commercially. We are not Real Madrid, who has ten or twenty million supporter’s world wide. We may have ten million people who think that we are a nice club but that doesn’t sell shirts. Nobody buys the shirts of their second team and so where as I’d believe that we are a lot of people’s second team a £5 million recoup through shirt sales would really be doing some. At this stage of our development line, I would say no, it isn’t something that we consider. Is it still exciting? do you still have that drive to do it or is any part of it slightly demoralising when you have a team working all the year around to increase the income by £3 million and then a new TV deal comes in over night and generates ten times that from nowhere?

I don’t think that we could take this into account where we are at as a club. Our first choice has to always be that the player is right for the football club and not whether we could sell a thousand shirts or something and that has to be the first thing. We are not in that league of buying a player simply for his commercial value in his home country. We buy players to strengthen our squad. If for arguments sake though, Monk said that he wants the boy Hernandez at United and you looked at the figures and he’s going to cost £5 million more than you want to spend but you

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18 L�i�� D�� HA-HA Yes!!! I think sometimes the demoralizing thing is that I got a small team, only about seven or eight of us, a young team realistically, they work really hard, over and beyond their time, they work weekends, they work into the nights and we get excited to see progress. And we do get excited to see an increase in £3 million but then when we spend £15 million on a player, you kind of think ‘oh god, we are such a small part of the club at the moment’. We are important but retail sales aren’t only about finances. What we see is spreading that brand and how it will do in 10 or fifteen years time. Is the commercial side of the club actually more important long term than now? If we were taking £100,000 ten years ago, you can’t foresee us dropping to that in ten years time. No, I don’t think so. For us a disaster would be dropping to the championship. We aren’t a club that would continue to drop I don’t think. Our finances are good and so if we ever did go down then we would be in a very strong position to go back up because of the level that we have and the lack of debt and so I don’t ever see us going back to the second division – touch wood.

the championship with a turn over of £12 million is a fair percentage. Exactly. So much of it is growing a brand. It only came out the other day that we are ranked the 27th valued football brand in the world which is staggering. Don’t get me wrong it’s not from our commercial department it is because of the premier league but the brand can get wrecked as quickly as we make it. We like to think people see Swansea as a supporters owned family run club and so we like to keep the club to that ethos. We have brand guidelines, you can’t go outside them. We used to sometimes change the colour of the swan but our brand protection girl, if any of us try to put anything other than a black or white Swan, she is down on us like a tonne of bricks and she has the power to do that as we need to protect the brand.

Plus our supporters base is much bigger now. As long as we looked after ourselves well in the Championship then I don’t think that our crowds would dip that much, yes merchandise and sales would go down a little but we aren’t relying on worldwide sales. Our sales have come from within the UK. We would see a dip but not as much as perhaps people think. It bides well for the future though doesn’t it because an annual income of £9 million in the Premier league when the turnover is £100 million isn’t that great but a £5 million sum in

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20 L�i�� D�� Apart from giving you our money, can us fans do anything to support the club with any of this? How you support us is by giving us feedback when we are not doing stuff right, nobody likes to be criticised but if it is constructive then we will take it on board. If we get the right brands in and I know I keep saying brands, brands brands but we are talking to brands now who wouldn’t talk to us a few years ago. They are coming in now and they are putting their brand alongside ours and so they trust us. What the supporters can do is that if these brands trust us, the supporters can trust those brands and use them because that is what they are there for and what they are coming in for. So if you have a beko TV on the front of our shirt, I would hope that the fans would look to get a beko TV when they need one.

I love how sometimes people say that ‘we need a top commercial director or a CEO or a Director of Football’ well from where? Because what are we going to do? Are we going to bring in people from a different industry? Who would take two or three years to fit in or are we going to get say a commercial director from another football club who is never going to have the affinity and know the roots and values of the club. I think that probably over the last ten to twelve years, dealing with the football league dealing with the Premier League, dealing with the Welsh FA, knowing everything that needs to be known about the rules

Support who supports us, it makes sense; it also works with Jack san magazines advertisers too!!!!!!!!! I’m wondering what you have learned over the last few years in regards to the commercial side I started out to do accountancy but never took the exams in year 2 as it wasn’t for me and so my background is building my own business up. I had to do all the marketing side even though I hadn’t been to university to learn it or anything and so when it was thrown at me at the football club, I really didn’t know much about commercial and marketing side of things but I truly believe, especially in football that it is about learning on the job because there is no other industry like the football industry.

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and the guidelines and then speaking with fans and learning what they expect. It isn’t something which you can learn by going to school or university, it is something which you learn on the job, you make mistakes, you try and rectify those mistakes and you improve.

learned from Dallas as we had Korea lined up and I cancelled Korea to go to Dallas.

Most of finding freindlies is dealing with the agents of other clubs and over the last few years I have built up a big network and forged good relationship with a lot of agents and so it is dealing with them. What I have learned more than anything else is that By September, I will be sitting down with them to you have to be open and honest with the brands, sort out next year and saying that ‘I want to go here’ sometimes we have to go to them and tell them or ‘Garry wants to go to America for a week’ that that they aren’t using us enough and if anything, I keeps us all going as we are always planning so far have learned not to take the brands for granted. Not ahead to think that because they are a big name that they are doing things a lot better than you are, sometimes they need your help as much as you need them, if they fall short, we try and push them. And you are still enjoying it? I spend all my time down here, the enjoyment is different now, there was great enjoyment the first five or seven years when we didn’t have a penny and we were just trying to earn that little bit of extra money with no budget and that was exciting and fun and was almost like building a new business from scratch. Now it is different, now it is how we can better ourselves each year. For instance Dallas, we had a great deal for us to go to Dallas, financially it was great for the club and then they pulled out, letting six teams down. Now ive spent the last two weeks finding somewhere for the club to go ( as I felt responsible about dallas although it was the promoter who pulled it ) and now it has been bedlam trying to find opposition, camps, the manager wants me to do this and that has been quite good fun, I think today, in fact probably in the next hour I will sign for us to go to Europe and so there is always something different going on. I have

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24 L�i�� D�� And finally, what else should we know that is going on commercially?

database which links into ticket master and so we now know everything about that customer which will help us as we are putting in a customer services reception area for the Swans alone and so when someone comes in to talk about something, our customer service girls will know everything that they need to know about a customer and give informed advice. I think that is one of the biggest things that we have done commercially and we will see the benefits from it over the years.

Commercial is just building brands, it isn’t selling the shirt it is selling the football club and how great we think we are, Jack to a King. The shirt video, I think we have had 130,000 people watching that so far, there are only 20,000 down the Liberty and so there is another 110,000 thinking ‘wow’! When we looked at what ticketing systems we put in and although it is technically a stadium ticketing system, it is funded by the football club. What we wanted to do was make it so that the ticketing system could be linked into everything else we do, all our CRM’s. We also wanted access control because access control actually lets you know who uses their ticket and who doesn’t use their ticket and so you can then market. For instance, if you aren’t a season ticket holder and you came to sixteen games last year and weve got a spare season ticket, we can then go to you and say ‘you paid full price for sixteen games, do you want a season ticket as it will be cheaper?’

A big thanks to Leigh for meeting up with me and going through this for the magazine.

So when we went to ticket master it allowed us to link this all in. From that, it can link to our merchandise sales, so every time when we see a customer, we know what they have bought ticket-wise and merchandise-wise, so therefore we begin to build a profile of everyone who comes to the stadium. That has taken a year to do and they are saying that it is probably the quickest time that any football club has done what we have done because we launched the new merchandise store on the 1st of June.

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Matty has finally pulled his finger out and come up with a contribution to the magazine; he’s been dormant for the best part of a year! But in fairness though, he has come up with a real cracker; He gave Mr Ferrie Bodde a ring who has kindly told us the best eleven that he played with at the Swans. Goalkeeper: De Vries My big friend Shrek! Dorus De Vries, of course! The reason was that he was a really good colleague and became a very big part of every attack. He always pulled off good saves and was a very solid goalkeeper so that is why I chose him. He is the best goalkeeper that I have played with.

never made mistakes, I tell people in Holland when I talk about Gary Monk, I talk about his speech before the games. When we stand in the circle and in a match program it says be loud be proud and be positive; those sorts of things. He was a leader it does not surprise me he is manager of the Swans and doing really well. What sort of style do you think Monk will be as manager, do you think he will be a shouter? How did he go about it as a captain? I think Gary Monk will be similar to Martinez, plus a

Left Back: Marcos Painter. He was unbelievable, when I think back to when I played with him: he was no nonsense. A simple left back, solid at the back and came in with tough tackles: That is what I liked about him. Right back: Angel Rangel I started with him from day one and he came in from the lower leagues in Spain; he is now playing premier league football and so I think he deserves to be the right back. His attacking skills are really great and his defending skills are also great. Centre back: Gary Monk It is of course Gary monk; he is also the captain of the team as well. He is the best captain I ever had in my football career. He

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piece of Brendan Rodgers a piece of Paulo Sousa think he is a Swansea Player. and a piece of himself. I think he has learned a lot from his coaches in the past. He is not scared to Left winger: Thomas Butler. make changes and decisions, he is always thinking of the team. Hopefully he will stay with Swansea for When I was playing, his first touch was amazing. He a very long time because I think he has a big, big was right footed playing on the left wing, for me he 11 MAZDA 2 1.6 DIESEL SPORT, 5DR,SILVER,ALLOYS,PAS,R/C/L,FSH,29K 7,995 57 FORDfuture GALAXY 1.8 TDCi(125) ZETEC,GREY,PAS,ALLOYS,A/C,C/L,S/H,79K £7,995 in football. was an amazing player, I am still in contact£ with him; he is a good guy. His shooting skills were amazing 06 AUDI A3 2.0TDi DSG S LINE, 3DR,BLACK,18” ALLOYS,H/LTHR,FSH,88K £7,495 10 VW SKODA FABIA 1.4MATCH, TDi 80 2,5 BEIGE,PAS,ALLOYS,C/L,FSH,1 £ 5,995 09 POLO 1.4 DR,SILVER,PAS,ALLOYS,C/L,E/W,56K,FSH 5,995 Centre Back:TDi Ashley Williams and I liked his style ofOWNER,30K play, he also unfortunately 08 VW PASSAT 2.0TDi SE,SILVER,ALLOYS,PAS,R/C/L,A/C,FSH,133K,MOT £4,995 had to retire early because of injury. 60 BMW PEUGEOT 207 1.4 MILLESIM, 3DR.MET.RED,ALLOYS,A/C,FSH,29K ONLY £ 5,295 54 318Ci SPORT CONVERTIBLE,AUTO,BLACK,ALLOYS,FSH,74K ONLY£ 5,495 He was a great player to have behind he is one 54 MITSUBISHI L200 D/CAB PICK you, UP,BLACK,PAS,ALLOYS,LTHR,117K,FSH £4,995 of the best2.0TDi defenders in the premier He is a 7 SEATS,84K,FSH ,46 MPG 08 PASSAT 4,995 05 VW LANDROVER FREELANDER TD4league. SE,SILVER,ALLOYS,H/LTHR,101K,FSH £££4,695 4,795 06 MAZDA 5 2.0 TD TS,SE,SILVER,ALLOYS,PAS,R/C/L,A/C,FSH,133K,MOT GREY, PAS,R/C/L,E/W, great colleague to have at the 54 MERCEDES C220 CDi, BLUE,ALLOYS,PAS,A/C,H/LTHR,FSH,106K 05 GOLF 1.9BENZ TDi SE, GREY,PAS,ALLOYS,R/C/L,E/W,72K, FSH,MOT 4,995 54 VW LANDROVER FREELANDER TD4 SE AUTO, RED,PAS,LTHR,FSH, 96KMAY £££4,495 4,495 back, You feel confident with him behindMEGANE you. 06 RENAULT 1.6 CABRIOLET,SILVER,PAS,ALLOYS,C/L,E/W,49K £3,995

06 5 2.0 TD1.6 TS, GREY, PAS,R/C/L,E/W, 7 SEATS,84K,FSH ,46DEC MPG 4,695 57 MAZDA PEUGEOT 207 HDi, 5 DR,MET.BLUE,PAS,R/C/L,A/C,67K,MOT 15 £ £3,795

01 Y LANDROVER DISCOVERY TD5 XS,BLUE,ALLOYS,PAS,7 SEATS,122K £3,995 Midfield 07 FORD FIESTA 1.6 TDCi ZETEC, 5 DR,BLUE,ALLOYS,PAS,R/C/L,FSH, 74K £ 3,695 08 RENAULT CLIO 1.2 EXPRESSION,3 DR,BLACK,PAS,ALLOYS,C/L,72K £3,695 Me, Pratts and Leon Briton would 07 2.0TDi ,BLUE,PAS,ALLOYS,E/W,A/C, 117K INS,£20 MOT FEB14 56 SKODA TOYOTASUPERB AYGO 1.0 BLACK, 5 DR, PAS,ALLOYS,E/W, LOW TAX £ £3,495 3,295 be my 3 in midfield! 08 RENAULT CLIO 1.2 EXPRESSION,3 DR,BLACK,PAS,ALLOYS,C/L,72K ££2,495 3,695 56 FORD KA 1.3i COLLECTION, BLACK,PAS,C/L,E/W,CD,39K,FSH,NEW MOT 06 VW POLO 1.4 SE, 5 DOOR,SILVER,PAS,ALLOYS,R/C/L,E/W,A/C,FSH,103K £ 3,295 54 FORD FOCUS ST170, 3 DOOR,BLUE,ALLOYS,PAS,R/C/L,E/W,FSH, 113K £2,495 TheSUPERB gaffer always2.0TDi made jokes that 07 SKODA ,BLUE,PAS,ALLOYS,E/W,A/C, 117K MOT FEB14 £ 3,295 54 CITROEN MITSUBISHI SHOGUN PININ EQUIPPE, BLUE,PAS,ALLOYS,FSH,68K ££1,995 2,495 we were a1.4 midfield three; if I am 1.8PAS,R/C/L,E/W, 54 C3 LX, 5 DR,GREY, FSH,92K, NEW MOT 56 FORD not KAin1.3i COLLECTION, the squad I have Joe AllenBLACK,PAS,C/L,E/W,CD,39K,FSH,NEW MOT £ 2,495 54 RENAULT VW POLO 1.2E 55, DOOR,SILVER,PAS,C/L, FSH,LOW INS, MOT£20 DECTAX 15 ££1,995 2,495 03 CLIO 1.5 DCi DYNAMIQUE,3DR,BLACK,ALLOYS,101K, of course. I have to 3 put 54 FORD FOCUS ST170, 3Leon DOOR,BLUE,ALLOYS,PAS,R/C/L,E/W,FSH, 113K ££1,795 2,495 03 RENAULT CLIO 1.2 DYNAMIQUE,3DR,BLACK,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,107K,FSH Britton and Darren Pratley in there 53 VAUXHALL ZAFIRA 2.0 DTi ELEGANCE,BLUE,ALLOYS,PAS, FSH,107K £ 2,495 because they players to CLIO 1.5 DCi DYNAMIQUE,3DR,BLACK,ALLOYS,101K, 1,995 03 RENAULT SEAT AROSA 1.0are S,similar BLACK,ALLOYS,PAS,R/C/L,E/W, 79K,NEW MOT £20 TAX ££1,795 me, Darren can keep going 03 VW POLO 1.9 Pratley TDi SPORT, 5 DR,MET.BLUE,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,FSH,107K £ 2,495 02 VAUXHALL CORSA 1.2isELEGANCE,5 DR,RED,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,97K,MOT £1,695 02 VAUXHALL CORSA 1.2 £ 1,495 and going, Leon Britton a ELEGANCE,5 DR,RED,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,97K,MOT 57 VW VAUXHALL COMBO CDTi NOVJAN 15 £ £1,695 2,195 genius, like theVAN, brain1.3 ofWHITE, the team. VAN,WHITE,PAS,R/C/L,124K,MOT 04 CADDY SDi PAS,C/L,E/W, 110K, MOT FEB 14,TAX 52 RENAULT CLIO 1.6i aDYNAMIQUE,3DR,BLACK,PAS,134K,RECON ENGINE £ 1,395 Leon DISPATCH Always played 1.9D good game; 03 CITROEN VAN,WHITE,PAS, 6 DOORS,130K,MOT FEB 14 £1,695 05 FORD PEUGEOT 206 1.1ihe ZEST, 5 DR,MET.BLUE,PAS,ALLOYS,75K, MOT FEB 16 ££ 1,695 that is his quality; never has a 54 FOCUS TDi ESTATE,WHITE,PAS,ALLOYS,E/W,C/L,167K,MOT FEB 1,295 52 RENAULT CLIO 1.6i DYNAMIQUE,3DR,BLACK,PAS,134K,RECON ENGINE £1,395 bad game. 54 VAUXHALL FONTERA 2.2i LIMITED, 5 DR, PAS,ALLOYS,E/W,75K, MOT £ 1,695 02 PEUGEOT 206 1.6 DR,BLUE,17” ALLOYS,PAS,CL,136K,NEWFEB MOT £ 1,195 54 FORD FOCUS TDi XSi,3 ESTATE,WHITE,PAS,ALLOYS,E/W,C/L,167K,MOT £1,295 Joe Allen: 54 DAEWOO MATIZ 1.0 EXTRA COOL, RED,PAS, E/W, 59K,FSH,MOT SEPT 15 £ 02 PEUGEOT 206 DR,BLUE,17” MOT£30 £1,195 51 RENAULT CLIO1.6 1.5XSi,3 DCi, 5 DR,GREEN, ALLOYS,PAS,CL,136K,NEW PAS,C/L,E/W,131K,MOT/TAX £1,295 1,195 51 RENAULT CLIO 1.5 DCi, 5 DR,GREEN, PAS,C/L,E/W,131K,MOT/TAX £30 £1,195 53 VAUXHALL MERIVA 1.6i I see myself in Joe Allen, as a8v LIFE,GREEN,PAS,C/L,E/W,97K,FSH,NEW MOT £ 1,495 similar player to what I was. I hope

BARGAINhe will play a little more. I hope he

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BARGAIN comes back to Swansea soon to BASEMENT: 06 FORD KA 1.3i PURPLE,PAS, RADIO/CD, MOT SEPT 2014,108K £ 995 BARGAIN 04 MG ZSget 1.6 4 STYLE, DOOR,MET.GREEN,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,CD,S/H,71K,NEW MOTBASEMENT: £995 the best out of his career; I MEGANE DR,BLUE,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,87K,MOT 995 51 RENAULT MEGANE 1.6i CLASSIC, CLASSIC, DR,BLUE,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,87K,MOT 01 RENAULT Y VW GOLF 1.9 SDi 1.6i ESTATE, BLUE,44PAS,C/L, S/HISTORY, 172K,MOT FEB £££995 995 01 Y FORD FOCUS 1.8 ZETEC, MET.RED, PAS,ALLOYS,R/C/L,115K,MOT/TAX £995 01 FORD FOCUS 1.8 ZETEC, MET.RED, PAS,ALLOYS,R/C/L,115K,MOT/TAX 995 06 YFORD KA 1.3 STYLE, PURPLE, PAS, LOW INS, 108K, NEW MOT ISSUED ££ 795 00 W JAGUAR S TYPE 3.0 V6 AUTO,SILVER,PAS,ALLOYS,97K,MOT OCT 2014 £995 99 FORD FOCUS 1.8 ZETEC, DR,BLACK,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,109K,NEW MOT ££ 795 795 54TDAEWOO TACUMA 1.6 SX, 55DR, MET.BLUE,PAS,R/C/L,E/W, 79K,NEW MOT 98 S SAAB 93 CONVERTIBLE AUTO,BLUE,ALLOYS,PAS,LTHR,115K.MOT JULY £495 03 45 1.4TS, IMPRESSION, 5DR,BLUE,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,88K,MOT JAN 14 £££695 695 04ROVER 2 C70 1.4 PAS, C/L, E/W, MOT OCTOBER 15, S/H, 181K 600 99 VMAZDA VOLVO 2.5SILVER, GS T, BLACK,PAS,ALLOYS,C/L,E/W,124K,MOT FEB 14 99 VROVER VOLVO45C70 GS T, BLACK,PAS,ALLOYS,C/L,E/W,124K,MOT 695 03 1.42.5 IMPRESSION, 5 DR,BLUE,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,88K,MOTFEB JAN1414 ££695 95 N VOLVO TOYOTA 850 CELICA 2.0 AUTO GT, RED,ALLOYS,PAS, C/L,E/W, MOT MAY FEB14 2014 £250 95 M 2.0 GLT ESTATE, BLUE,PAS,C/L,E/W,MOT £ 295

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piece of Brendan Rodgers a piece of Paulo Sousa and a piece of himself. I think he has learned a lot from his coaches in the past. He is not scared to make changes and decisions, he is always thinking of the team. Hopefully he will stay with Swansea for a very long time because I think he has a big, big future in football. Centre Back: Ashley Williams He was a great player to have behind you, he is one of the best defenders in the premier league. He is a great colleague to have at the back, You feel confident with him behind you.

think he is a Swansea Player. Left winger: Thomas Butler. When I was playing, his first touch was amazing. He was right footed playing on the left wing, for me he was an amazing player, I am still in contact with him; he is a good guy. His shooting skills were amazing and I liked his style of play, he also unfortunately had to retire early because of injury.

Midfield Me, Pratts and Leon Briton would be my 3 in midfield! The gaffer always made jokes that we were a midfield three; if I am not in the squad I have Joe Allen of course. I have to put Leon Britton and Darren Pratley in there because they are similar players to me, Darren Pratley can keep going and going, Leon Britton is a genius, like the brain of the team. Leon Always played a good game; that is his quality; he never has a bad game. Joe Allen: I see myself in Joe Allen, as a similar player to what I was. I hope he will play a little more. I hope he comes back to Swansea soon to get the best out of his career; I

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Right Wing: Jordi Gomez On the right wing is a difficult one, I was thinking about a few players. I am thinking about either Jordi Gomez or Nathan Dyer. I played more games with Jordi Gomez than I did Nathan Dyer, but Dyer is a legend in my eyes. I think the best moments I had and the best connection were with Jordi Gomez and so I will put him on the right wing because he understands the game well and he was also part of the midfield three at the time, so he would go on the left wing or right and we played well together. Up Top: Jason Scotland The striker of course has to be Jason Scotland, it was nice to play with him always, if you did not see him for 89 minutes then he would score two goals in the 90th minute for example. So he is my striker. The coach has to be Roberto Martinez. I had a really good connection with him; he was like a father, like a friend, like a brother. He had everything that you wanted in a coach, he was always standing in the

middle of the team, he was always in for a joke and I think, in fact; I know he was the best manager I played under! I learned a lot from him. We know you have got a job in Den Hagg recently can you tell us a bit about that? Yes I have got a job managing the youth team, I am focusing on that and also doing my coaching badges here in Holland, I think if that all goes OK then I will make more jumps up in to senior football. An enormous thanks to Ferrie and I think I speak for every Swans supporter when I say how delighted we are to hear he’s well after the scare we had last year. I have been lucky enough to speak to him myself in the past and he is just a gentleman and a fantastic bloke. Not a bad player either! As much as I love Joey Allen; he’s not getting in ahead of our Dutch star!

Networkingin ina pub? a pub? Networking Have you ever been to an official networking doo? It is awful! People pay a fortune a year to join a networking business, dress up and pretend to be someone that they are not so that they can speak to other people pretending to be people that they are not just so they can give each other business.

Am I missing something here? How about a pint? Anyone? Introducing

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Doesn’t that sound more like it?

Next meet is in The Poets Corner, Swansea on Wednesday 8th July @ 5:30pm. Get there when you can!

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In our most recent networking in a pub outing, we met Matthew Vincent who does this:I run the SA4 magazine which is a community magazine distributed through peoples doors in Gorseinon, Pontardulais, Loughor, Gowerton and the rest of the SA4 postcode. We print 11,000 copies which are always in high demand. The magazine is useful to readers wanting to know what is happeining in the locality and also looking to use local tradesmen and women and local services. Now you know! Come join in at our next meet.

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Dear Society, Is this really what you want? Are you happy with our current state of affairs? According to the Cambridge Dictionary, the word offended means ‘to make someone upset or angry’. Well I’m sorry but I think some people are either enjoying being offended or are playing at it! Jack Wilshire is the latest footballer to have brought shame to the human species by actually showing a little bit of character while on an open top bus surrounded by fellow Arsenal fans. Here, a young man, celebrating a cup triumph ‘offended’ Tottenham supporters by singing a song about them. They didn’t hear the song at the time and surly nobody was really ‘upset or angry’ or at least they shouldn’t have been and if they were; who cares?? If a Tottenham fan went out of their way to watch a video of a rival player singing songs which will offend them then I have incredibly little sympathy; in fact none at all! Role models for kids’: blah blah blah, we are insisting on a country where our footballers need robotic personalities. I feel restrained at times in this magazine, I get told off for things which I think are a bit OTT but footballers can’t fart anymore. Should Alan Tate and Lee Trundle of proudly shown off a Welsh flag with the words ‘F£ck Off Cardiff on it’? Of course they should have! Why not? Who does it hurt? Oh yeah, the huge masses of people who are ‘offended’ by it. Cardiff was on suicide watch as tens of thousands of people were ‘hurt and angry’ by this incident… Come on people!!!

We have a media who advertise footballers doing ‘bad’ things and then have a go at them because they are showing a bad example to kids and are in the public eye. We wouldn’t know that the youngster at Villa was leathered on holiday or that spoilt brat at Liverpool was taking legal highs if the papers didn’t tell us about it!!! It is the media that bring it to the public eye!! They are basically advertising footballers being bad role modes and then criticising them for being bad role models. Somebody has to do something about this! This is genuinely becoming a serious issue. What are we actually teaching kids? Seriously! We are basically creating a country where people are scared to be themselves, that people have to constantly be reserved and show no character, emotion or have the slightest bit of fun. It’s ridiculously boring!!!!! And for what purpose?? There are clearly things that genuinely offend. We have wonderfully diverse people on this beautiful Island of ours. We have different religions, different ethnicities, people with different sexual preferences and some parts of society has suffered over the years, both physically, mentally and verbally and some still do and I can understand why some wording may genuinely offend some people, genuinely make people ‘upset or angry’ but there is a huge difference between that and the words ‘f&ck off’ on a flag!’. Lighten up people; please stop looking for things to complain about. Leave your house from time to time. Get laid! Who are these people making these complaints? We are living in a country where there are a percentage of people who like nothing more than to moan about things and will actually go out of their way to find something that they can moan about. Internet

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forums are rife with these people; there is nothing more exciting than something to moan about. I’m going back a few years but over 25,000 people complained to the BBC about the Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross incident. I agree that they were out of order but how many of those complained within 24 hours? How many actually heard the show live? Hardly any!! Everybody else saw a newspaper headline saying ‘this is offensive!!!’ in the Daily Mail and so people then listened to it just so that they could be offended!!! And then complained about what they had set out to be offended by. WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE?????????? I had this discussion the other day and was told that regarding the Tate and Trundle flag incident ‘they knew they would get into trouble for it!’ Now, I don’t disagree with that but what does that mean? Does it mean that we should just accept that and not do anything? I publish jokes in here from time to time which I

realistically expect that someone might complain about. Is that wrong of me? Should I give into this part of society and go through life aiming not to offend those people who are desperately trying to be offended? If Craig Bellamy had waved a flag saying ’F*ck of Swansea’ after their promotion; would I be offended? Not in the slightest. Would it hurt me? Physically? Mentally? Will it make me angry? Want to fight people? Of course not, who cares? It is a flag with writing on it. People are starving in the world, people are fighting diseases, dying, withering away in hospital beds or on floors in third world countries, children are fighting in wars, people die every second and babies are being born every second and I’m supposed to care about what is written on a flag? Or what someone says in London on a bus. No, not any more! It is our society. Can we please have it back and not give in to those who want to water us down because I’m pretty sure that those who like to moan will always find something to moan about anyway.

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Question for the mag:

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Is Garry Monk right in saying that Leon Britton wont get much football should he stay? Gerald Roger Jenkins You have to admire his honesty. Andrew Howells He knows that himself so it’s not as if it’s a surprise to him

Gareth E Morgan He's been great for us since day one, but our style of play has changed the last year or so, and more so since corky has come in, be great to keep him, but u can't expect him to stay tbh, best of luck I say .

Tony Davies by all accounts they are good friends so GM would have spoken to Britts, I can see him going as he has said himself he wants regular playing time, will be sad if he does, he fully deserves legend status for what he has done for the club. I think he will be our manager one day for sure

Marc Sherlock I think he should stay and help as a player/ coach he can be a great asset on and off the field

Steve Thomas Of course he's right, But I still think Leon Britton is top notch, hope he's stays

Britton has said he would like to have more game time, and the least the club could do is be honest. He has been amazing for us, and I would love to see him see out his career in a more back seat role at the club. However, if it's game time he wants, can Swansea really give him that? Honestly?

Matthew Vincent He is right to say that, if players expect to play and don't they are not going to be happy and it's not good for squad moral, better to be straight with players Mike Dauria No doubt britts could still do a job for us and Garry monk is absolutely right for letting britts know he’s not going to get the game time and giving him the opportunity to finish his career off playing not on the bench. Garry monk is building a team to go forward and unfortunately leon wont be part of that due to age injuries. I think Leon deserves to play as much football as he can get but as much as every single swans fan would love to see him on the pitch for us its not going to happen

Jamie Lewis Definitely right to have said that. Britton was and still is a legend at the club, regardless to what his next choice will be.

Marc Sherlock Cup games he will get so think he should be part of back room staff coaching the midfield's Martin Davies I like to see leon coaching the midfielders he teach them how to pass and play the swansea way Phil Doherty He should get a coaching job not for me anymore, probably stick to away games, at least you expect to be treated like a leper at an away game....

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Martin Davies An exciting season was this season. I been a fan for a long time over - 40 years and was delighted with our season the best season ever

safety licence, or there would be contract Stewards (Safestyle) who are a lot stricter than Swansea Stewards. Be grateful for what you have, It could be a hell of a lot worse. Manure have contract Stewards and look how much trouble they cause. Palace had contract stewards self explanatory there. Give our stewards some credit they aren’t that bad.

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Alex Collins A great season, but Premier League syndrome is beginning to kick in with a lot of people by the looks of it. Entering a competition that we have no chance Sunday of winning, it's Lunches: a bit crap when you look at it that way.

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James Deason Give me boring next year too. grin emoticon Ample

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Richiehuw Evans An enjoyable season. Same next Enclosed Outdoor year please.

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Ian Wishart Leigh its not the stewards fault. It’s the Fa and the premier league. They have imposed tougher guidelines and bigger fines for disorder. The majority of the stewards are Swans fans like yourself. And are only acting on what they are told to do by the hierarchy at the liberty. Also if those stewards weren’t there then there would not be games played there because there wouldn’t be a

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Wha� �� F�n� T�� C�n��e� Martin Davies An exciting season was this season. I been a fan for a long time over - 40 years and was delighted with our season the best season ever Alex Collins A great season, but Premier League syndrome is beginning to kick in with a lot of people by the looks of it. Entering a competition that we have no chance of winning, it's a bit crap when you look at it that way.

James Deason Give me boring next year too. grin emoticon Richiehuw Evans An enjoyable season. Same next year please. Ian Wishart Leigh its not the stewards fault. It’s the Fa and the premier league. They have imposed tougher guidelines and bigger fines for disorder. The majority of the stewards are Swans fans like yourself. And are only acting on what they are told to do by the hierarchy at the liberty. Also if those stewards weren’t there then there would not be games played there because there wouldn’t be a

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Philosophy is an overused word in football. LVG’s got the last one’s less than wise, but even the greatest the last one’s less thanmake wise, mistakes, but even the hilosophy an overused word inwaving football. philosophers andgreatest Wenger’s is a lot oneis(unusually including hisLVG’s nutsgot at players). philosophers make mistakes, and Wenger’s is a lot of Nazi ne (unusually including waving his nuts at players). less serious than providing the backbone Arsene Wenger’s got one. Even Sam Allardyce has less serious than providing the backbone of Nazi rsene Wenger’s got one. Even Sam Allardyce has ideology. got one, apparently, although describing “Hit it long ot one,to apparently, although describing it longto ideology. the big lad!” as philosophy is as“Hit insulting the big lad!” as philosophy is as insulting to Anyway, taking everyone’s favourite pub game, the philosophy as it is to football. Anyway,All taking pub the names hilosophy as it is to football. Timeeveryone’s XI, here’s afavourite side made of game, the greatest All Time XI,Western here’s a side made ofItthe greatest names in Philosophy. might not rival Wenger’s Swansea have a rich recent history of philosopher Philosophy. might Wenger’s wanseacoaches. have a rich recentand history of philosopher Invincibles, butItit’s a lotnot lessrival injury prone than his Martinez his protégé, current boss in Western but it’s a lot less injury prone than his oaches.Garry Martinez andboth his protégé, boss current crop. Monk, buy in tocurrent “Our Philosophy”, in Invincibles, current crop. arry Monk, both buy in to “Our Philosophy”, in which case, one of them should be reported to the hich case, one of them should be reported to the has an Just like Rodgers, van Gaal and Martinez, it reflects Exam Board for plagiarism. Brendan Rodgers Just like the Rodgers, vanofGaal it areflects xam Board for of plagiarism. has anof makeup theand sideMartinez, by playing tricky continenexcess it, mainly Brendan out of theRodgers Stoic school the makeup of the side by playing a tricky continenxcess ofdeclaring it, mainlyeverything out of the Stoic school of “Outstanding”, despite what tal 3-5-2. Unlike Rodgers or van Gaal, it hasn’t got a eclaringevidence everything “Outstanding”, despite what tal 3-5-2.winger Unlike at Rodgers or van Gaal, it hasn’t got a right back or Rooney in midfield. or events say to the contrary. winger at right back or Rooney in midfield. vidence or events say to the contrary.

GK: Peter Singer. A tremendously useful player, who Philosophy means literally the love of wisdom. Only Singer. tremendously player, who hilosophy means literally thealove of wisdom. Arsene, then, can lay serious claim toOnly using theGK: Petercan stopAthe unstoppableuseful (and defend the indefensirsene, then, can lay a serious claim to using the can stop the unstoppable (and defend the indefensible). word legitimately. “Le Prof”, after all, brought ble). ord legitimately. “Le Prof”, after all, brought revolutionary, and undoubtedly wise, ideas to the volutionary, and undoubtedly wise, ideas to the CB and Captain: All of the back three know each English game, such as passing, preventing alcoholics CB and Captain: Allfrom of thetheir backtime three each nglish game, such as passing, preventing and chip addicts from forming thealcoholics spine of a team other well at know Athens. The central nd chipand addicts from forming the spine of a team other well fromistheir time (not at Athens. The central figure Socrates the Brazilian one), commandnot buying defensive midfielders. Ever. Maybe figure is Socrates (not the Brazilian one), commandnd not buying defensive midfielders. Ever. Maybe

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ing and combative, often leaves the opposition out CMF: Partnering Descartes in the middle is the ing and combative, often leavestothe out CMF: Partnering Descartes in the Immanuel middle is the of ideas with nowhere go,opposition using his famous metronomic technician, Kant. Can be du of ideas with nowhere to go, using his famous metronomic technician, Immanuel Kant. Can bethings, dull, but and has a tendency to overcomplicate “Socratic Method”. Career cut tragically short. and has abrings tendency to overcomplicate things, but “Socratic Method”. Career cut tragically short. an imperative to the team. CB: On the Left side is Plato. A devoted student of brings an imperative to the team. CB: On the Left side is Plato. A devoted of in his Socrates, found a more creativestudent side later RWB: Friedrich Nietzsche. Superman in attack and Socrates,career. foundLike a more creative side later in his RWB: Friedrich Nietzsche. Superman in right. attackBrilliant and in ear defense, and the might on the Maldini to Baresi, dependable, and likely defense, and theearning might on the right.move Brilliant in early career. Like Maldini to Baresi, dependable, and likely to continue his mentor’s work. career, high profile to Basel. Hasn’t to continue his mentor’s work. career, earning high since. profileLike move to Basel. done much Kant, suffersHasn’t with injury. CB: Aristotle. Completes the famous “Stoic Three” ofdone much since. Like Kant, suffers with injury. CB: Aristotle. Completes the famous “Stoic Three” LWB: John Locke. More progressive than Nietzsche Athens. More creative than the other two.ofGreat work LWB: John Locke. progressive than Nietzsche, Athens. More thanside. the other two. Great work and a realMore believer in possession. Also a great ethic creative on the right and a real believer in possession. Also a great ethic on the right side. organiser. organiser. DMF: Shielding the back four is the combative DMF: Shielding back four is the combative Thomasthe Hobbes. Famously said “My mother gave Front Two: The greatest strike partnership in the Thomas birth Hobbes. Famously said “My mother gave Front Two: The greatest strike partnership in the history of philosophy, Karl Marx and Friedrich Enge to twins, myself and fear”, so not to be philosophy, Karl Marx and Friedrich birth to twins, myself around. and fear”,Best so not to be in three words:history ofEngels is the unheralded creator, MarxEngels. the glamorshowboated described Engels is the unheralded creator, Marx the glamorshowboated around. Best described in three words: ous finisher. Both revolutionary players in their tim Nasty, Brutish and Short. ous finisher. Both revolutionary players in their time, Nasty, Brutish and Short. although tend to occupy the same space on the lef although tend to occupy the same space on the left. CMF: At the heart of a solid three is Renee Descartes. CMF: At the of a solid three is Renee Descartes. Manager: J. S. Mill, gives the side freedom to expre Theheart foundation of any side he plays in, although too Manager:themselves, J. S. Mill, gives sidethe freedom to results. express The foundation of any side he plays in, although too andthe knows value of cynical for many. themselves, and knows the value of results. cynical for many. Arborum half page.ai 1 19/02/2015 00:32:48

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J��e� B� S��n�� A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years.

One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he told her he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child if she stayed in Italy to have and raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support payments to begin. One day about 8 months later, he came home to his confused wife. His wife said, "Honey, you received a very strange postcard today." "Oh, just give it to me and I will explain," he said. His wife handed him the card and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and collapsed. On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without! Request bread.". Bought one of those 'memory' foam pillows yesterday. I think it was yesterday. In Britain we used to drive on the left of the road... Now we drive on what's left of the road.

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that and at this moment in time, he isn’t but that isn’t the football of today. Today it ismouse all aboutElvisimportant My pet died lastfornight. in our first eleven in my opinion. today! Worry about tomorrow when tomorrow comes! He plans was caught in a trap. And in my opinion Jonjo isn’t in my first team It is sad in a lot of ways that football has come to this today. but that is where we are. It may simply be that the Britishart footballing world has become more professional A big part of this isn’t justThe thatLawyer we have says betterto central the wealthy collector tycoon: and that this will bring the very best out of young midfielders. We have good options going forward. “I have some good players. It may well force players like Jonjo to be even Montero looks ridiculously dangerous, Siggy is news and I have some news” betterbad but you can also see why the English FA are outstanding, Bony is (and I genuinely mean this word) concerned about players lacking minutes. But I World class and Dyer/Routledge/Barrow are all very couldn’t capable on their days. So what we need is for them to The tycoon replies: “I’ve care hadless anabout the FA and I doubt the Swans have the ball, we need a midfield which is controlling, a do either. awful let’s hear the good news first? midfield who can win the ball backbloody and giveday, it to our danger men and that is what Leon and Ki can offer. If I could get Jonjo to sign a ten year contract and he hadwife no possible way£5,000 of leaving it then I’d play him now The lawyer says: “Well, your invested is no are loyalty in football This is short sighted but I do feel far less inclined to that but in two pictures this week shethere figures going to beand so in many ways it is the footballers that are brining it on themselves. ‘nurture’ talent than I have previously. We don’t really worth a minimum £2 should to £3 million” need money and players aren’t loyal in anyway and so I ofWhy a club invest time and playing minutes into a player who will jump at the first chance they get? don’t see the point in playing him in order to smooth the diamond. I thinkThe thattycoon those days have possibly replies enthusiastically: “Well done…that is very gone in terms of the Premier league. Each game is too good news indeed!

You’ve just made my day. Now what’s the bad news?”

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A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he told her he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child if she stayed in Italy to have and raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support payments to begin. One day about 8 months later, he came home to his confused wife. His wife said, "Honey, you received a very strange postcard today."

CAUTION: INFORMATION ON NEXT PAGE MAY SHOCK!! "Oh, just give it to me and I will explain," he said.

His wife handed him the card and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and collapsed. On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without! Request bread.". Bought one of those 'memory' foam pillows yesterday. I think it was yesterday. In Britain we used to drive on the left of the road... Now we drive on what's left of the road.

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��ME

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I met up with Mel Nurse in the middle of June. I have had the privilege to interview him in the past about the Petty days and his huge involvement in keeping the club alive but I wanted to speak to him about his playing career and what football was like when he kicked the ball (and the opposition) about. Over the next few issues I will put in snippets of our conversation and here is the first one, we start by talking about another great Jack; Mel Charles. He is a personality and a character in his own right, he hasn’t got a degree in education, neither have I but Mel; personality flaunts from him, and the things he does; nobody else could get away with it. I tell you a little story, I could tell you loads of stories but this one is going back, way, way back. He’d just finished football and he was doing anything just to live. Earn some money, not like today where you can retire and live abroad with millions in the bank. In our days, players didn’t have the money. You’d sign a one year contract; just the one year contract and at the end of that year (which was the 30th of June) if the club didn’t want to retain you, they could withhold registration, that means that if they didn’t want to play you then they didn’t have to pay you and you couldn’t play for anyone else; you would have to work outside of football. Now that is ridiculous. You mention that to some of these players today and they will laugh in your face!

Dear, dear, £20?? Well put it this way, people say to me that back then it was a lot of money. My father was working in the steel works earning more than me; my brother was on the railway line, a year and ten month s younger than me and he was earning more than me. You tell me any player, of that time and we are talking about, Glen Allchurch, Terry Medwyn, Cliffy Jones, Ivor Allchurch; all of them, you tell me what line of business they are in! They are not in business; none of them. There was no money! That’s what kept me on the ground. When I look at these, I respected them as players, I played at the highest level, I was lucky, I played in Madrid, Hungary and all the rest of it but the players playing around me were great players; struggling to live. I went to Middlesboro, I had no option, they sent me to Middlesboro. I find myself there, straight away they make me club skipper and after training most days; you jump in your cars or your push bikes or whatever, push bikes in those

Not only that. We would have to report to the ground in the afternoon if they wanted us back then and all you were getting was £20 a week if you lucky and were in the first team. Depending on who it was and whether they wanted to give it to you. What was that in today’s money?

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days; nobody could afford a car. All the players were living in club houses because they couldn’t afford to buy the houses, not earning enough to live; cover bills and things. I found myself many a times, gong to a café. There was always a café who would welcome the players because all the public would then go there and I’d sit on my own, on a small table in the corner, knowing full well that as I’m captain, some of the players are going to come over and ask for a word. I can remember up at Middlesboro that there were two lads, Ronnie Walker was one and Ronnie Berwick was the other, the two of them came from Leicester to us. And Ronnie Walker was the one who came over to me and he said ‘Mel, do you think that I could ask the club for a £2 rise?’ I feel embarrassed talking about it now but I sat there thinking about it because I was the one that players would go to and I was the one who then had to go to the club on behalf of that player because I was club skipper. So, I say ‘Ron, we are well into March now. The retainer list will be out shortly. Your not in the first team every week so you better be careful what you are doing and my advice to you would be to leave it for a couple of weeks, see the retain list come out and then ask and see what goes on’ and that’s what we did, he thanked me and went off with the rest of the boys in the café.

No, clubs were struggling to balance the books because they didn’t have the funding from the television and all the other people. They would have local people advertising but that was peanuts. For about ten years, Swansea as a football club sold a player just to balance the books every year. Ford, Terry Medwyn, Cliff Jones, Mel Charles, myself, Barry jones. I have a photo of a newspaper cutting with the list. I have a load of great stories from Mel to put in here over the next few issues, to give an insight into football before the money got involved in it. Some really great stories of Brian Clough and John Charles just to name a couple. A huge thanks to Mel, it really is always a pleasure to be in the mans company.

A couple of weeks later and he was on the retain list anyway but I saw that side of football. Today they would be asking could they have another £10,000 rise. Do you think that there was the money about then but it wasn’t dripping down to the players?

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Odds on ‘Race to Player of the Year’ 2016 Favourite: 2-1 Federico Fernandez His debut season was incredible and he finished the season outstandingly well. I expect more second time round; a couple of headed goals and he’s red hot favourite to take the crown next year!! Jonjo Shelvey: 7-2 He divides opinion but he’s been the best player in that midfield ever since he got slated publically by the gaffa and he’s maturing into a real top quality player. Little Jeff: 4-1 Now there is a nice looking bet! The boy has found an end product; he’s insane in a one-on-one situation; getting better all the time. Big issue will be that he could well be gone come January if he is leading the pack then!

Gomis 6-1 Jason Hughes Goal scorers are all about form and a run in the side and you feel that he can really get close to next years prized award if he gets a good run of games. Siggy 13-2 He will be there or there about. He’s a beautiful player to watch, his technique is fantastic and he scores goals and creates them too. Can he do it for a whole season? I don’t see why not! Ki: 7-1 Could have easily won the award this year if he hadn’t have escaped to the Asia Cup. Is he able to top this season? If he does then surely it will be his last in a Swans shirt! Fabianski: 9-1 He’s bound to have a poorer season next year; that is the way with goalkeepers. He managed to win a good few awards this year but missed out on the one they all really want!!

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DRINK WITH US Enjoy WITH US Ayew: 20-1 Never seen the guy play; this could be a great bet or could be a shocker. Time will tell!! I expect it to take him a while to settle and so I wouldn’t go crazy with Coors £2.90 those odds!

Carling £2.30 Cork: 20-1 Fosters £2.80 Mr consistent£2.70 it seems and these guys rarely get the Strongbow top awards although he is capable of chipping in Dark Fruits £2.90 with a few goals and who John Smiths knows? An early£2.40 England call up could change everything! Worthingtons £2.50 Grolsch £3.00 Routledge: 33-1 Selected for £5 He’s got Bottles the ability to2win Jager 2 for thisBombs award, he really has. £5 Its hard to see where he fits in a starting eleven right PooltoTable now though, 33-1? I’d have a Dartsneaky Board bet on that as new might kick him up Freearrivals WiFi the ass!

Leon: 40-1 Give him 38 games and he will walk the award, give him 10 and he will still win it. I don’t like to think about him We have going; do I have to?

but Monk has said that they will be given chances this year and you never know? One could really impress! Dwight Tiendalli: 27 Billion - 1

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Ash: 16-1 2 years in a row? Not happening! Don’t get tempted with these odds, the guy is class but nobody is winning this award twice in a row unless they really pull something out of the bag!! Ayew: 20-1 Never seen the guy play; this could be a great bet or could be a shocker. Time will tell!! I expect it to take him a while to settle and so I wouldn’t go crazy with those odds! Cork: 20-1 Mr consistent it seems and these guys rarely get the top awards although he is capable of chipping in with a few goals and who knows? An early England call up could change everything!

They don’t win awards do they although our new lefty can hit a free kick, if he scores ten of them over the season then we’d be laughing. Grimes, Sheehan or Futon 100-1 How lovely would that be? Unlikely it must be said but Monk has said that they will be given chances this year and you never know? One could really impress! Dwight Tiendalli: 27 Billion - 1 There is a better chance of Dwight Tiendalli beating Wilfried Bony at an arm wrestle while playing the saxophone with the other hand than him winning this award!

Routledge: 33-1 He’s got the ability to win this award, he really has. Its hard to see where he fits in to a starting eleven right now though, 33-1? I’d have a sneaky bet on that as new arrivals might kick him up the ass! Leon: 40-1 Give him 38 games and he will walk the award, give him 10 and he will still win it. I don’t like to think about him going; do I have to? Either Full Back: 50-1

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the verythe words used; ‘Right right bumped into someone a few weeks and it and itI remember I remember veryI words I used;man, ‘Right man, right I bumped into someone a fewback weeks back place’ right time!’ asn’t until after I’d after already said ‘hello’ I realised place’ right time!’ wasn’t until I’d already saidthat ‘hello’ that I realised hat he had the mostthe insulting thing a person that done he had done most insulting thing a person an do to another human being; he had me The is that I got him totally well. as well. can do to another human being; deleted he had deleted meproblem The problem is that I got himwrong totallyas wrong om facebook!!!! from facebook!!!! I think that a football club evolves (or it should) I think that a football club evolves (or it should) depending on who on is pulling strings. Some Some he traumatising event happened approximately depending who is the pulling the strings. The traumatising event happened approximately have skills in some areas, ghteen monthsmonths ago andago it was a heated managers have skills in someothers areas,inothers in eighteen andafter it was after a heated managers different areas, incredibly few have skills in all areas. ebate about the best way forward for the Swans. different areas, incredibly few have skills in all areas. debate about the best way forward for the Swans. And theAnd key the is bringing in someone with thewith rightthe right the end, he end, was so he was and key is bringing in someone In the hecertain was so that certain that right he was right and the right time depending on whaton thewhat clubthe club hat I was a clear he had no to butskills at the right time depending that I wasimbecile, a clear imbecile, he choice had nobut choice to at skills needs atneeds that very point and doing every move remove me fromme thefrom book ofbook face. of face. at that very point andthis doing this every the couple of yearsof when couple yearsrequired. when required. et’s justLet’s say just thatsay I was quite smug during the that I was quite smug during the BringingBringing in a manager whose best skills areskills at are at onversation when I remembered this afterthis saying in a manager whose best conversation when I remembered after saying coaching and organising isn’t ideal when have ello’. You see, he, see, like many, certain Garry coaching and organising isn’t idealyou when you have ‘hello’ . You he, likewas many, was that certain that Garry squad but are crying for new onk was thewas wrong forman the job. He didn’t an organised squad but areout crying out for new Monk theman wrong for the job. He didn’t an organised players; players; then you would someone who haswho an has an hink so;think he knew heknew was the wrong then youwant would want someone so; he he was theman!!!! wrongAnyone man!!!! Anyone eye for a player. ho disagreed with something so incredibly eye for a player. who disagreed with something so incredibly atant was insane! blatant was insane! When Monk over, weover, had we good players our in our Whentook Monk took had good in players my opinion. Our issue was blatant; we had we had Now I’mNow happy hold my hands on the in my opinion. Our issue was blatant; I’mto happy to hold myup hands up on the squad insquad none atnone all. Weatneeded someone to undreds of occasions that I get things no organisation, all. We needed someone to hundreds of occasions that I getwrong thingsin wrong inno organisation, come in and organise the team and Monk was the his magazine (happy may not be the right word come in and organise the team and Monk was the this magazine (happy may not be the right word forman that for verythat moment…………… but here) but I would it very I that Iright man right very moment…………… but there) but Ilike would likeclearly it verynoted clearlythat noted that wasthat all he was! as 100% former from day one.day one. was all he was! wasbehind 100% our behind our captain former captain from

A C��e�� M�na��? He was a Paolo Sousa and before you start slating the crazy Portuguese manager; he was vital to our progression! His lone season took us from the completely messy and unorganised time of Martinez (come on again!! Did you see Everton last season? Wigan three seasons ago?? The man couldn’t organise a hunger strike at a fashion show) to Brendan Rogers. Monk wasn’t supposed to be able to pick a player as well and yet within two transfer windows (before this) he’s signed seven of our starting eleven without really spending that much money! He isn’t supposed to be tactically savvy and yet he’s the first manager to have a plan B since Kenny Jacket. He is the outstanding organiser that I thought he would be, he is able to grind results out by having a stable back four, so much so that we don’t even get nervous at every corner we receive anymore (apart from against West Ham: every rule goes out the window when the Swans play Andy Carroll). But he is clearly far, far more than that. He’s receiving praise from fellow professionals and

rightfully so. Patric Viera was the latest big name to ‘big him up’ and I hope and expect the praise continues to roll in. I think our gaffa is one of the very few managers who has a wide range of management skills, he seems to be able to keep the squad happy, get the best out of his players as well as being tactically sound and able to spot the right player. Our next issue may just be trying to hang onto him!

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A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. 'You know what?' says the 7 year old, 'I think it's about time we started swearing.' The 4 year old nods his head in approval, so the 7 year old says, 'When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you swear after me, ok?' 'Ok' the 4 year old, agrees with enthusiasm.. The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 7 year old what he wants for breakfast. 'Oh, shit mum, I don't know, I suppose I'll have some Coco Pops' WHACK!! He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up, and ran upstairs crying his eyes out. She looked at the 4 year old and asked with a stern voice, ' And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?' 'I don't know,' he blubbers, 'but it won't be f*****g Coco Pops'

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64 Vit�� Inf�ma�i�� W��ed�� All these are facts except 1 which I made up. Which one is made up? answer on answer page 98. In 1995, Tim Henman became the first person ever to be disqualified from Wimbledon. The reason? He lost his temper and angrily smashed a ball away, straight into the face of an innocent young ball girl. Henman was mortified when he realised, and later gave the girl some flowers to apologise.

It was only in 2007 that the prize money for male and female tennis players was equalised after campaigns from Venus Williams and others. Wimbledon always starts on the sixth Monday before the first Monday of August. In 1986, yellow tennis balls were introduced. Before that the balls were white and umpires had difficulty seeing them.

Each year, 250 ball boys and ball girls are employed to work at Wimbledon. On average they are 15 years old and The youngest ever player at Wimbledon was Mita earn about £150 for the two weeks that they work. Klima from Austria, who was 13 years old when she played in 1907. The last time anyone used a wooden racket at Wimbledon was in 1987. Each year at Wimbledon 28,000kg of strawberries are eaten along with 7,000 litres of cream 54,250 Tennis balls are used during the championship All players must wear white clothing and dress ‘decently’. The umpire decides if players meet the strict dress code and can make them get changed. Andre Agassi refused to play between 1988 and 1990 because he didn’t like the dress code and what he regarded as a ‘stuffy’ atmosphere. During World War II, 5 bombs hit Centre Court, destroying 1,200 seats. It took 9 years for the court to be fully restored. Hawkeye technology was introduced in 2009 and was initially called ‘Martina’ after Martina Navaratalova who famously never deliberately left a ball which was in bounds.

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Gareth E Morgan Keep him if his heads better Matthew Biggs Leave him rot in the reserves Ian Wishart Keep him. Ian Harding Keep him, worst case scenario Swans lose 2m, best case scenario he scores 20+ again Craig Rees Keep him and if no good leave him go in January! Ian Jones If he wants to play and fight for his place and is injury free, I'd keep him. If he's not prepared to understand he had to earn the shirt then he can go to West Ham or whoever else wants him. James Williams Keep him! And leave him go for free end of season to someone in Spain! Wouldn't let him go to any rivals he might give an advantage over us too as said lose £2m or he sorts his head and discovers the love affair with us again Rhiannon Lewis Give him a chance deserves more of a chance than Gomes x Dylan Jones Sell Richard OConnor Send him to Barcelona Malcolm Edwards See what he's like in pre season no point in throwing money away John Taylor Send him to my house as my cleaner for the season Diana Doyle he can come home with me i will have him lol Aled Jones Keep him. Extremely talanted player and is a game winner

Jamie Walker Keep him, the lad had a few problems but when he was good everyone loved him doesn't all your favourite players make mistakes and yes I agree if he wants to play for his place fight for it he was one of our better strikers when we was first in the premier league but is personal life got on top or on the way play him he could of mutured a bit wouldn't get rid off him and gomis is progressing typically plastic thoses who thinks he's a goal machine would of thought the haters would know how or what you need build a house which is ??? Foundations if there's nothing in the right place it will collapse same as gomis is building his Foundations probally cemtening his name to the team but give the boys michu and gomis a chance not gonna be anything without the all mighty jack army behind them so stop hateing Craig Wiggins Give him a chance to shine again!!! Ash Swansea Jack Thomas Not actually sure what I would do. He was a goal scoring machine but since his injury he just can't seem to recover from it. I wish him all the best. Mike Dauria Dont really know what the latest is but i think it depends on michu if he wants to play for us keep him until he gets his chance to play lets not forget he can play striker behind the striker he makes play intercepts loose balls scores goals well we all know what he can bring and we dont have to buy him we had injuries up top last season and managed but we need strength in depth this season more than ever so if he wants to stay and fight for a place id grab him with both hands Chris Poland Is he a pokemon? Geraint Wyn Nicholas Get head right he could save us a few mill if he wants to play Richard David Shields Give him a paper round

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1) There are three houses one is red one is blue band one is white. If the red house is to the left of the house in the middle and the blue house is to the right to the house in the middle where is the white house? 2) Two horses were born at the same time, traveled the world, and then died at the same time, but did not live to the same age. How was this possible? 3) Three fat ladies stood under an umbrella but none of them got wet. Why didn't any of them get wet? 4) Which word, if pronounced right, is wrong, but if pronounced wrong is right? 5) Imagine you are in a room, no doors windows or anything, how do you get out? 6) Why are 1999 ten pound notes worth more than 1993 ten pound notes? 7) What demands an answer but asks no question? 8) Mike is a butcher. He is 5'10" tall. What does he weigh? 9)

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70 Jus� � R��n��! I am pretty confident that our players know that we are a fantastic club and that the gass isn’t always greener but just in case: I want to show that it is actually never greener!! Or pretty much anyway….. Here are some of the more recent players to leave the club: Pictures by Stand Back Art:: www.facebook.com/StandBackArt?fref=ts Vorm He was always going to be number two behind Lloris and that is what has happened all season. He played a few cup and UEFA cup games but has generally watched from the bench. He will be preying for De Gea to go to Real Madrid in the hope that United come in for Lloris but it is fair to say that his move away was a poor one for his career and it is hard to imagine that he is pocketing any more money there either! Strange move!! He certainly won’t be happy about it yet. Ben Davies Seven sisters schooled boy (missed saying that) followed the Dutch keeper to Spurs and has played almost as little football since the move. Career has stalled at best, rumours of him being offered a loan move to fellow London clubs may just be that but don’t be surprised if we get offered him back over the next twelve months; don’t be surprised if we turn down that offer. Sad to see but certainly the wrong move! At least he gets some time playing for Wales!!

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72 Jus� � R��n��! Chico Flores Scored 4 goals in 25 matches and won the Qatari top division which is the equivalent of the Swansea Sunday third division. Whether he and/or Laudrup will stay there will undoubtedly depend more on how much money is thrown at them than anything else but it is fair to say that as footalling decisions go; this wasn’t the best! Financially? Who knows??? Jose Canas Played 29 games for Espanyol as they finished mid-table in La Liga. I can’t really take the pi£s too much out of that in fairness. Played more football there than what he would have here, back to his native country, erm…. Good move I suppose. Hernandez What a waste of a player! It is really hard to get too annoyed with him as injuries just kept dragging him down. He needed a good run in the team to get back up to fitness and by the time he did; he was injured again. He’s mopping up around the Middle East, taking money wherever he can get it. Far from a great move footballing-wise but his pockets are massive!!!! Pozuello I always liked him, good impact player and had the talent to really push on. Club and Monk seemed to totally disagree though and their judgment is far superior to mine. He’s played just under a dozen matches for Rayo Vallecano who also finished mid-table. A nothing move, a nothing decision and this one was probably made our end more than by him anyway! Forgotten man!

De Guzman I don’t know how interested we were in the player or not. According to Monk, we were initially keen on signing him permanently but JDG said he wanted time to think about whether he wanted to return here and Monk said that if you need time then we don’t want you. I was happy to see him go myself. He’s played 11 games for Napoli, scored three goals. Would he rather be here? I’d say so yes! Allen A tough one here. He finished the season pretty well

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for Liverpool by all accounts and was getting the fans on his side. I don’t see him as Liverpool player myself, I expect to see him back here fairly soon; maybe this time next year and I’d be over the moon if I’m honest! He is the one that really got away; the one that should be here!! Does he regret going??? Hard to know. He’s been at a club that has generally been underachieving to their fans demands while we have been doing the opposite; I know where I would rather be (taking money out of equation of course). Michu

Graham Another example of why you shouldn’t leave here. He was pretty much playing first team football for a side that was on the up and has since found himself playing very little football for a relegated side; the good news is that he may get some more football next year; the bad news is that it won’t be in the Premier League. Does he regret leaving? Every second!! So there you have it; if you really think that you can further your career by leaving the Swans then I advice you get your head checked out first!

Where is his head at? It is all speculation isn’t it. He clearly wasn’t happy in Naples, he clearly isn’t happy here. His career has totally gone down the pan from the very second that he wanted to leave this part of the world. He is a prime example of why you should never leave these parts!! Bony It will be very interesting to see if he starts the first game of the season. Will he be first choice alongside Aguero or will they be using him as someone to make an impact from the bench? He hasn’t set the world alight, he won’t be glad that he has left yet; Apart from when he looks at his bank balance!

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I haven’t been particularly organised this issue. I have been pretty awful in fairness, so much so that a day before I went to press, I was walking around Swansea and realised that I hadn’t ‘tried anything’ this month. It probably says a lot about how boring we all are in reality, that a whole month can go past and I have not tried doing anything which I hadn’t previously; pathetic effort!! Have you by the way? What have you tried in the last month??? So I had to find something pretty quickly and as I’m walking back to my car at Park Tawe, I pass Laserzone. I must confess that I had been there once before, probably twenty years ago but I have a vague memory of being in there but I thought enough time had passed for me to be able to legitimately say that I was trying it. There was a fifteen minute wait to get going as a game had just started. I was getting some bizarre looks from the staff; I don’t think many adults go there on their own in the middle of the day!

I’m not one for ‘gaming’; in fact the last console I owned was a Playstation two as it was cheaper than getting a DVD player at the time and it played DVDs. As I’m waiting and looking around; I’m not too excited in reality, I’m feeling like a right weirdo and kind of kicking myself for not organising a surf or something slightly more exiting. The previous game ended and a dozen people come out laughing and sweating pints and eager to check their scores. It made me slightly more interested, the same group were going back in for the next game; plus me; I had managed to join an Admiral team bonding session. For anyone who hasn’t

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been there or understands what it is, you get a gun, a jacket and the gun shoots a laser and the idea is to hit someone else’s jacket and then they are ‘dead’ for a few seconds and you get some points of some sort. I really aren’t very good at listening to what I am supposed to be doing (I think that’s why I don’t have a ‘proper job’), I get told that you get 50 points for this, 25 points for this and a thousand points for that but all I’m thinking is ‘so I shoot people yeah!’ before I hear a very important bit of information which is that I’m on a team; the red team; don’t shoot people in red!

50 points or you get ‘phased out’ for 6 seconds. I also think that there should be more to the game, have a few relics which both teams need to get and the team with the most relics win or something like that (in fairness, that could have been the game; I was just playing by my self!) I am really surprised to say this but if you are stuck in Swansea with a spare half hour, £4 for twenty minutes; I’d give it a bash!

I also didn’t really take in all the tactics of the game; I think a big part of the game is that you’re not supposed to get shot. I got shot 23 times, with most people being shot less than a dozen. I run around a lot, I hit a couple of people (by hit I mean shot with a laser) and I was pretty impressed with the layout. It is bigger than it looks from the front, a couple of floors and a good venue. I have to admit, I really got into it and thoroughly enjoyed, which really surprised me. It would be much better with a load of people you know though, I did feel like a right loner and a bit of a weirdo and I also feel I should apologise to the rest of the red team as I think I cost ‘us’ the game; I hope that didn’t effect the dynamics of the ‘bonding’. I would prefer to be outside but probably more than that; and this may sound a bit sadistic; I would like it to hurt a bit too! I prefer paintballing, where you actually don’t want to get hit for a greater reason than because the other team gets

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Do you think that a lot of the problem with Nick Clegg is that he looks very David Cameron, he is a similar age, from similar backgrounds, do you think that might be behind what we don’t like about him and you can also say this about Ed Milliband? I think that you have hit one if the major problems of British politics at the moment, they are all cloned. They come out of public school or university, they get an internship or a researchers job and then they become an MP; That is a big problems with this country as there are very few MPS who have had a proper job and I don’t mean solicitors or barristers; you need a mix of people as you need a mix of sexes, we want a house of commons and not a house of elite.

comment that Danny Alexander and George Osbourne had which was a note saying ‘sorry all the money has gone’ You must have had an idea of where the country was or wasn’t? My experience when I became leader of Swansea council was that I didn’t realise beforehand some of the things that were happening.

He looks comfortable with Cameron? Yeah but they are all the same. Look at Ed Milliband, has he had a proper job? No! That’s at least one thing you can say about Cable that! Will the Liberal Democrats be looking to abolish tuition fees? We made the mistake of signing up to something that we didn’t really appreciate the full cost of and it wasn’t until we opened the books up and got the famous

So are you saying that if the Lib Dems had won an outright majority in the last election, you still wouldn’t have scrapped tuition fees? That it wasn’t the torys that stopped you? I have a feeling that we would have had to look at how to fund further education. I’m not sure whether tuition

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Vegi has said to me on many occasions in the past that meat overpowers a meal and I hate to say it but it is true; although generally that is because it tastes fantastic. A succulent, medium rare steak may overpower the side salad that accompanies its chips but surely that is a good thing! Thickly cut ham totally overpowers the white pulp bread which sits either side of it in a sweaty sandwich but again; that’s for the best. However, I also kind of understand that it isn’t always a good thing! I’m taking a step on the nice-side in this issue. The wild, exciting, meat eating side is disappearing for an issue while I go Vegi in an Indian restaurant. The difference between an Indian curry and a sandwich is that there are so many tastes going on within a curry, different herbs and spices and textures and we generally just fish the meat out and the rest is lucky if it gets mopped up with a naan bread but here, I am going to really try it all. The Panshee opposite the Grand Theatre had rave reviews for its Vegi options and so we both trotted

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Ja�� Sw�� Eat� F�o�!

off down there. Perfectly nice interior and exterior and busy on a Wednesday night; which is always a good sign! Started off with the chutney tray, you always feel like your being coaxed into spending more money than you want to when you get asked about the chutney tray. ‘How many poppadoms’? I get asked; after a slight delay I tentatively say ‘two’ and then there is this stand-off which seems to occur every time and then the question ‘two… each??’ and not for the first time; they inevitably won this round!

For the main meal, I went for Roshun Aloo Murch. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you what that is but for those of you not familiar with Indian Vegetarian cuisine; It was (and probably still is) Garlic potatoes and green chillies cooked in Panshees special style. I

I must say though, the chutney tray was outstanding! The little green coconut thingy was amazing. It was moist, it was oozing (what a wonderful word that is). Onions, mango chutney were wonderful too, none of that lime thingy thing that nobody likes either. Top marks for chutney tray, even if we did leave a poppadom or two! Not missing the meat yet anyway!

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get asked if I want it medium or hot and I say that somewhere in between the two would be perfect. Accompanied by some Garlic rice and a naan bread. Did I miss the meat? Not in the slightest and to be honest, I don’t see why I’d order a meat curry again. Vegi was bang on with his description, I tasted the whole curry, all the flavours. The potato wasn’t anywhere near as nice as a succulent piece of lamb but that is the exact point. I tasted the curry, I tasted the garlic, the chilli and the other spices and not just the lamb. The curry was quite similar to a jalfrezi, it wasn’t incredibly hot but it had incredibly hot chillies in it. If you scooped them out then it was perfectly edible but if you accidentally bit into one then you were in serious trouble! Great place to eat, I’d seriously recommend trying a vegi option next time you go for a curry though! Give it a go!!

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BBQ Competition

DONT FORGET TO SEND YOUR BBQ PICS IN!!!!!!!!!!! 3 Great pics this month!! Keep them coming though. We want to run this competition all over the Summer. Lets just prey for some sun. Send your BBQ pics to info@jackswan.co.uk or 07880 369545.

3rd Place 2nd Place Helen Latham Shan in Pink

This Months Winner is Tim Rendell who Wins

WINNER

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Live Music Every Friday & Saturday Night

88 The Secret Breakfasteer As it stands at the moment 1st 2nd 3rd 4th 5th 6th 7th 8th 9th 10th

Brownsters Café, Clydach The Penny Black, Burry Port Bro's Café Port Talbot The Skyline Café, Glyncorwg mountain bike cenre Uplands Dinner Changs Tambinis Express The Junction Café on roundabout Ystalyfera Fairdeal Café, Llansamlet Ponty Café

Well there was me thinking that the season was over and I had finished reviewing for the summer. That was until I had the call from jack swan asking if I wanted to go for breakfast. Not one to turn a breckie down we headed off for my first visit to Brownster’s in Clydach. Many times I have passed Brownster’s, the outside décor always looks clean and tidy and this was reflected inside. There were 6 choices of breakfast. Jack Swan and myself both opted for number 6 the largest at £6, my main reason being that it was the only option that came with 2 slices of very thick cut bacon. Also on the plate were 2 slices of toast, 2 sausages, 1 egg, beans/tomatoes, 1 hash brown, black pudding and sauteed potatoes. I really struggled to finish it all off and left 1 slice of toast. I put this down to having the day off work and not having worked up an appetite as opposed to being a big girl’s blouse like Jack Swan who also left some toast.

26 25.5 24.5 24 23.5 21.5 21 20.5 20 17.5

I must emphasise how good the bacon was, it even distracted me from the average sausages. I can’t quite put my finger on it but there was a nice, relaxed atmosphere in Brownster’s, the owner pleasantly came over for a chat and offered us refills on our coffees. All in all we had a cracking breakfast and I will be popping in there again soon. Location = 7.5 Quality = 8.5 Price = 8

26 30

The Journey Continues...

DATES ARE GOING FAST!

Book NOW to ensure The Journeymen can play your venue in 2015

Call Leighton on 07963 937930 or Phil on 07961 937238

T-Shirt Design Competition We are looking for a number of designs for Jack Swan T-Shirts for Next Season. Send us your design and if we use it then we will get one printed and sent out to you!! Send designs to: info@jackswan.co.uk

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Round the Universe

DO YOU THINK PLUTO HAS SMALL PLANET SYNDROME? On 13th September 2006 the planet Pluto was declassified as a planet and reclassified as a 'dwarf' planet. The IAU, International Astronomical Union, got together and made rules as to what would be required to be classified as a planet. Pluto did not meet the criteria and was distinguished as only one of many large icy bodies in our Outer Solar System. Therefore there are now officially only 8 planets in our Solar System. Not in the top 8 then eh... This led to the introduction of the word 'Plutoed' to the International English Dictionary. To 'Pluto' is to demote or devalue someone or something. So... Now that the Swans are in the top 8 do you think we are still classified as a small club or is it going to change the face of Swansea Football Club forever? A cup and a top 8 finish in the Premier League do we now have the criteria to be a Major club?...from Wales?... in the EPL?... Do you think the Major clubs from Manchester and London and their supporters like that we have idea's and desires above our station as everyones 2nd favourite club, the plucky underdogs? That Wenger, Ozil, Sanchez, Ramsey et al are not smarting with slighted ego because they got spanked home and away by little old Swansea. Will new criteria need to be introduced to make sure we don't rattle the elite of the top 4? Must be English... Stadium capacity... Wage structure... Or will Swansea continue to develop faster than any other club, and more importantly in the right fashion? Do Swansea want to be run like a Manchester or a Chelsea? Or worse yet Cardiff... No. Keep your Boney and we'll keep our pride. With stadium development being mooted for January, and the "coolest squad" in the league, the goal posts may change but Swansea are looking like none of what the elite think matters. Pluto to them. So... Do you still think Pluto has small planet syndrome? Pluto says Uranus. Do Swansea care that others think we have over achieved? Swansea says your arse. Paddy Stradlin

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P�� f�� Kid�

Kings Head; Treboeth I felt a little bit harsh popping to the Ynysmeudwy arms on the first day of their new menu to write about it in this issue but here I go anyway. The pub has little indoor entertainment to either adults or children as it is set up for food mainly. The food there is very good and although it isn’t a cheap place to stop for a lunchtime bite with the kids, it’s far from extortionate and is priced about right in fairness. The real allure of the place is the outside park. I can’t work out why there hasn’t been a decent outdoor play bit at the Ynysmeuwdy arms before now. It transforms the place into a great place to take the kids. Great walks down the canal, good reasonably priced food with the kids entertained outside makes for an easy couple of hours and so I’m happy there when the sun shines!

Quality of Food: Quality of Childs Entertainment Quality of Adults Entertainment Value for money Beer

8 9 6 7 7

Total 37/50

P��i�u� Sc��e� Kings Head Treboeth New Swan Ystalyfera Hen Dderwen Sketty Dillwyn Arms Pontardawe Hungry Horse In Dunvant Harvesters Everywhere

39.5 39 39 38 36.5 32

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96 P��n�-�es� P��n��n�! We have all been there, (well those of us with kids) the football is on TV and we don’t get to watch hardly any of it as we are too busy entertaining the little monsters. I asked Claire from Munchkinos Childminding to try and come up with a solution. The celebration of International Fairy Day during June gave me inspiration for a new activity . This is one that can start outside and end up indoors in time for the match. Bonus points should be awarded for fresh air and creativity and guilt free football watching should ensue. Indoor Gardens The children at Munchkinos really enjoyed making fairy gardens outside and asked if they could take them home to show their parents. So we came up with the idea of recreating the gardens in empty shoe boxes. It's a very simple idea, but very effective. This activity can keep your little munchkins going for ages. It doesn't have to be a fairy garden. We have made monster homes, alien planets, prehistoric lands , farms, parks and a jungle the possibilities are endless. (See photos; scale obviously not important Smiling face (black and white)) What you need An empty container (shoe box or similar) Time to collect leaves, twigs, flowers etc Any small toys/props your child decides An imagination How to create your garden Spend some time with your child exploring the garden, park or any green space. Take some time to collect bits they think would help to create a garden. We collected leaves, flowers ,

stones and twigs. We talked about different ideas and even painted the stones to make them look prehistoric (for the dinosaur garden). Take all of your materials inside along with an empty box and allow your child to be creative whilst you watch the football. They can change them around to create different scenes and add different toys. Best of all its free Smiling face with smiling eyes www.facebook.com/munchkinos

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Q�� An��r�

Picture Quiz 1) Boris Becker 2 Billy Jean King 3) Virginia Wade 4) Pat Cash 5) Venus Williams Wimbledon Champions

Mind Puzzles:

1) Washnigton DC 2) One travelled east, the other West, one gaining in days and the other losing. 3) It wasn’t raining 4) Wrong 5) Stop imagining 6) Because there are more of them 7) A telephone 8) Meat 9) I loved this one!! How many circles are there in there. For example a 0 has 1 circle. An 8 has two while 345 don’t have any!

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