CONTENTS
Contents 4 - 15
GLOBETROTTING 101
17 - 22
PULLOUT POSTER
24 - 25
TWO LEFT FEET?
27 - 29
SOUL FOOD
30 - 33
HAPPY ENDINGS
35 - 41
THE SILVER LINE
42 - 45
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GETTING SOME PERSPECTIVE Warning: Problems in the mirror may be smaller than they appear. Written by Iain Rushton
Too many people blow their problems way out of proportion, devoting precious mental energy to situations which do not carry “life or death” consequences. Virtually all of us will fall into this trap on occasion, but those who spend the least amount of time obsessing on trivial circumstances are likely to accomplish far more--and be happier in the process! Yet, perspective encompasses more than just steering clear of petty upsets. It suggests that you’ve considered your place in this world and that you appreciate “the big picture.” As you widen the lens of your perception, you’ll experience less tension, improve
One surefire way is through encountering and overcoming adversity. Dealing with difficult situations leaves you with a new outlook about what is truly important in your life. If, for example, you’re faced with a life-threatening illness, poor service in a restaurant will no longer seem very crucial. Fortunately, you don’t have to wait for a major catastrophe in order to gain perspective. Here are some suggestions to broaden your outlook which you can implement right away: Look at your problem in the context of your entire life. Ask yourself: How important is this difficulty in the overall scheme of things? What will this matter ten years from now? Okay, so you have a leak in your bathroom. It won’t significantly affect the rest of your life. Or, let’s say a prospective sale falls through. Sure, you’re disappointed, but it isn’t the end of the world. The key is to see the problem for what it is--and not let it dominate your thinking for an entire day, week, or month. Extend yourself to others. We tend to get mired in our own problems, turning inward and growing depressed and frustrated. Finding
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Each encountered the exact same problem. So, why did one driver get so upset while the other handled the situation with ease? What distinguishes them is their perspective.
your attitude, develop keener insight into the meaning of your life, and most likely enjoy greater material success as well. The question, then, becomes: how can we develop more perspective?
ways to serve and help others will make you feel better and broaden your understanding about the interconnectedness of all human beings. Even something as simple as offering a few encouraging words to someone else can make a world of difference--to them and to you. Be around people who have a healthy outlook. We are influenced by the company we keep. Therefore, try to spend more time with people--be they friends, relatives, or co-workers--who seem to put things in perspective. These individuals rarely complain, can easily distinguish between what’s important and what’s not, and are a joy to be around. Simplify your life and restore balance. Easy to say, but not so easy to implement. Sometimes, we get overextended, taking on too many responsibilities or projects. We ignore loved ones and even our own health. So, maybe it’s time to say “NO” to the next project or demand on your time. Which is really more important--another volunteer committee assignment or spending time with your children? Maintaining perspective requires discipline. But the benefits--less tension, increased selfawareness, greater peace of mind, and more-are well worth the effort, and you’ll find that your problems become insignificant.
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Everyone experiences problems from time to time. But the way in which people respond to their troubles can vary greatly. Take the example of two drivers, each of whom gets a flat tire on the way to work. The first motorist’s whole day is ruined. He mumbles about his rotten luck for hours, spreading blame wherever he can and accomplishing very little at work. The other driver, however, treats the flat tire as a minor inconvenience. He has it repaired and quickly moves on, proceeding to have an enjoyable, productive day.
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WHAT’S ON YOUR BUCKET LIST? Something you should consider doing before kicking the proverbial. Written by Bianca Michaels
Even if you frequently live by goals or to-do lists, they are probably framed within a certain social context e.g. performance, career, health. A bucket list opens up the context. It’s a forum to set anything and everything you’ve ever wanted to do, whether it’s big, small or random. It’s just like planning ahead all the highlights you want for YOUR whole life. Even though goal setting is already my staple activity, I still found many new things to do while I was writing on my own list. It was an incredibly insightful exercise. What’s more, coming up
If you don’t have a bucket list, I highly recommend you to create one. How much will it cost? Zero. How long will it take? Probably 30 minutes to an hour, or more if you get really caught up in the writing. What do you stand to gain? Significant clarity and focus on what you want from your life. It’s an invaluable exchange. If you already have your list, take this opportunity to review it. See if there are new items you want to add-on. If so, add them in. Check if all the items listed are still relevant. If not, remove them. Now, take out your pen and paper or open up a text document. Start writing down what
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But why create a bucket list? If you don’t live your days by personal goals and plans, chances are you spend most of your time caught up in a flurry of day-to-day activities. Ever feel your days are passing you by without any tangible output to speak of? What did you accomplish in the past 3 months? What are your upcoming goals for the next 3 months? Look at the things you did and the things you’re planning to do next – Do they mean anything to you if you are to die today? Having a bucket list reminds you of what’s really important so you can act on them.
with my list gave me a whole new layer of enthusiasm knowing what’s in store ahead! The objective of creating this list isn’t to instill some kind of a race against time or to create aversion toward death. I don’t see our existence to be limited to just our physical years on earth – I don’t see our existence to be limited to just our physical years on earth – our physical lifespan is but a short speck of our existence in the universe. The whole point of creating your list is to maximize every moment of our existence and live our life to the fullest. It’s a reminder of all the things we want to achieve in our time here, so that instead of pandering our time in pointless activities, we are directing it fully toward what matters to us.
comes to mind as you read these questions: What if you were to die tomorrow? What would you wish you could do before you die? What would you do if you had unlimited time, money and resources? What have you always wanted to do but have not done yet? Any countries, places or locations you want to visit? What are your biggest goals and dreams? What do you want to see in person? What achievements do you want to have? What experiences do you want to have / feel? Are there any special moments you want to witness? What activities or skills do you want to learn or try out? What are the most important things you can ever do? What would you like to say/do together with other people? People you love? Family? Friends? Are there any specific people you want to meet in person? What do you need to do to lead a life of the greatest meaning? Come up with as many items as you can. The items should be things you have not done yet. Your bucket list is meant to be a list of everything you want to achieve, do, see, feel and experience in your life, and making this list will get you there eventually .
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If you haven’t heard about the term “bucket list”, it is a list of all the goals you want to achieve, dreams you want to fulfill and life experiences you desire to experience before you die.
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DOES MONEY REALLY BUY HAPPINESS? Yes and no. But mostly yes. Written by Ryan Beadle less important once your priorities are in line with your beliefs. Given a choice, it’s better to be miserable in a heated jacuzzi than be homeless on the streets of New York City during a blizzard.
The odd thing is that we all know, at least intellectually, that money won’t buy happiness. But unfortunately, we’ve been steeped in a culture so heavily mediated that we’ve started believing the lies. The cars, the houses, the stuff—living the so-called Dream will make us happy. But of course this is not true.
But that ‘money can’t buy happiness’ saying arose because some people just can’t be happy - and money won’t help. Psychology is subjective and relative so we’re only left with averaging surveys but, generally, people who spend more on life experiences are happier than people who just buy stuff. Plenty of people are happy when they buy a new phone or a TV but it quickly becomes commonplace. If you are a football fan, and finally buy that trip to the Super Bowl, you are pretty happy.
You see, there’s nothing inherently wrong with money, just as there’s nothing innately wrong with material possessions or working a 9-to5. We all need some stuff, and we all have to pay the bills, right? It’s just that when we put money and possessions first, we lose sight of our real priorities. We lose sight of life’s purpose. And so maybe getting some of the excess stuff out of the way—clearing the clutter from our lives—can help us all save money and make room for the most important things in life: health, relationships, growth, contribution, community. Money helps accentuate these areas, sure, but the size of your wallet is much
Some people are not happy no matter what; they are filling their lives with stuff or events and it doesn’t do any good. For them, money truly does not buy happiness but, like with happiness, they have forgotten what true misery is like also. Survey results in the Journal of Research in Personality find that certain material buyers are in that latter camp. When material buyers purchase material items they are not happy, because others in their cultural sphere may criticize their choices but if they indulge on newer life experiences, they are no happier because the purchase is likely out of line with their personality and values.
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The opposite, however, is also not true. A life of poverty—a life of perpetual deprivation— isn’t joyous either.
When considering how to spend your money, you’re likely to consider material purchases more valuable than experiences you have to pay for, such as a nice dinner out. But new research shows that, after the fact, you’re more likely to value the experiences more highly than objects you purchased on just about any measure. When asked to consider their happiness, study participants said they’d spend money on experiences like vacations. But they still thought it was more financially sound to buy a gadget or new clothes. When ranking purchases they’d already made, however, those surveyed recalled experiences as both making them happier and being a better use of their money. Sometimes the best experience is the act of buying something for someone else. Several researchers have noted a connection between altruistic spending and happiness. Giving up all of your new electronics in favor of trips to the beach and charitable acts might not seem fun or sensible. But if you’re lucky enough to choose between indulging in an object or in a memorable experience, the latter might leave you more content in the end.
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People have strange conceptions about money. When we don’t have it, we often believe that money will make us happier. When we do have money, however, we tend to want more.
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INNER PEACE FOR THE NON-HIPPIE Why taking a step back can help you put your problems into perspective. Written by Charlotte Moody to “clear your mind” when you’re meditating. But “asking the mind to not think is impossible; minds are made to think. Instead, focus on becoming more aware of your mind and your surroundings, even if that means recognizing you’re worrying. Try to channel that “aaaaah” feeling you get when you sink into a chair after a hard workout by letting your mind relax anywhere from a few seconds to a few minutes.
However, peace of mind is largely a matter of attention. If we keep the flashlight of our attention on our negative circumstances, if we constantly attend to the “gloom and doom” voices in our heads, then we will surely be overcome by stress.
Two minutes can be as powerful as two hours when it comes to meditation—especially for a beginner. Don’t worry if you don’t have even 20 minutes to spare. Each of us can break free for four or five minutes, whether you’re sitting or standing or riding the bus. Take a moment and have awareness of your body. You don’t need to fix anything. The meditation doesn’t have to last longer than a few minutes, and it’s something you can do several times a day.
Open Your Mind You might have heard the rumor that you have
Get Physical When meditating, take note of what you’re feeling physically, from the clothing on your body to the cold air coming in from an open window. To have awareness of the body without adding meaning onto it can be a powerful tool for the mind for so many of us who struggle with self-acceptance. Being with
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Get that image of a guy sitting perfectly crosslegged in a barren room out of your head. Feeling like you have to sit upright is the single most impediment; you can meditate sitting on the sofa, lying on your bed, anywhere you’re comfortable. The bonus of sitting is that you’re less likely to fall asleep, but if the position causes any kind of discomfort, such as strain in the hips or back, try another.
Keep It Short
your body can be transformative. Take a Whiff Maybe it’s the detergent you used on your shirt or the leftovers from dinner, but chances are you can pick up on a number of smells at any given time. “We attach a lot of stories to smell. Have a simple awareness of those smells when the mind gets restless, then rest the mind again. Alternate between resting the mind and practicing the awareness of the senses for as long as you’re comfortable. Open Your Eyes While closing your eyes can be helpful in quieting the mind, meditating with your eyes open not only allows you to cultivate visual awareness of your surroundings. If you let your mind rest with your eyes open, you’re more likely to have that peacefulness while you’re going throughout your day. Hopefully, if you’ve followed these tips, you too will find that it is possible for peace to pervade, even during the most challenging times of your life.
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Are you ready to be a warrior for inner peace? Doing less and organizing more simplifies for sure. But until you deal with the ways you get knotted up inside, your life will be complicated, and the glory of inner peace will elude you. Inner peace is revealed when the inner war ends. We stop looking outside ourselves for solutions to our problems and, instead, turn our attention inward to make peace with our own experience. This simple movement of attention is revolutionary. It heals, calms, and clarifies like nothing else.
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FACT
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WHERE COULD YOU BE RIGHT NOW?
FEATURE
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y p p a H ! s l i a Tr FEATURE
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SIX WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR MOOD
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FEATURE
TWO LEFT FEET
?
Get hip with this slew of poppin’ dance moves guaranteed to help you shred in da club.
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FEATURE
The Worm A surefire crowd pleaser, the Worm is a move best used at house parties or family gatherings, where people will be egging you on, rather than just egging you.
Difficulty Level Sexocity Street Cred
The Moonwalk A diehard classic, this move is a must for any serious dancer. It has many imitators, but all glory goes to the one who masters this mindbending movement. Moonwalking = no lame chat up lines.
Difficulty Level Sexocity Street Cred
The Robot A dad favourite, the Robot is a decievingly easy move. Just keep your limbs stiff and your hips limber, whilst bearing in mind that robots cannot feel emotions or embarassment - which is the real power of the move.
Difficulty Level Sexocity Street Cred
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FEATURE
The Roof Raise Though simple, the Roof Raise is a tricky one to get right. Your bounce proportions must equal the ‘pop’ velocity of your forearms, resulting in a powerful motion that says, “I’m here to party.”
Difficulty Level Sexocity Street Cred
The Sprinkler Once upon a time, a person thought it would be a good idea to imitate their lawn sprinkler on the dancefloor. Years later, the Sprinkler has proven itself as a weird hallmark of dance culture.
Difficulty Level Sexocity Street Cred
The Twerk You can’t spell ‘twerk’ without ‘werk’, and that’s exactly what’s required to get this right. Remember to use your natural jiggle to accentuate your cheeks. Drop it like it’s hot for extra points.
Difficulty Level Sexocity Street Cred
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S UL FO D RECIPES
RECIPES
SEARED BEEF WITH ORANGE & CHILI 1 kg piece skirt of beef Zest 2 oranges 2 red chillies, deseeded and finely chopped 2 shallots, finely chopped 2 tbsp olive oil 2 tbsp red wine vinegar
Wipe the beef and put in a large food bag. Mix together all the remaining ingredients, then pour into the bag. Massage marinade into the beef, then put on a plate in the fridge for at least 2 hrs, or overnight if you have time.
Remove the beef from the barbecue and set on a board. Cover tightly with foil and leave to rest for 10 mins. Cut the beef across the grain into slices.
Light the barbecue, allowing time for the coals to turn grey. Season the beef with salt and pepper, then cook for 8-10 mins on each side until well browned. Spoon over a little of the marinade as it cooks.
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HANDPICKED FOR HAPPINESS REVIEWS
REVIEWS
FILMS
THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN 2
Marc Webb’s superhero sequel is savvy, punchy and dashing enough to brighten up any mood.
In this they are again helped by the perfect casting of Andrew Garfield as Peter Parker; he looks whelpish and raw, as though he’s still filling out. I also like the way that, despite the reputed $200m budget, there remains an endearingly amateur quality to Spider-Man’s crimefighting antics. Here is a superhero who occasionally travels to work with a heavy cold. He is not above riding to the rescue of a bullied schoolboy or humiliating
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Yet The Amazing Spider-Man 2 turns out to be so savvy, punchy and dashing that it won’t be denied. It’s the thread that won’t break and the yarn which still binds. Marc Webb’s spring blockbuster is the sequel to the reboot of the movie adaptation of the original Marvel comic-
books, which is another way of saying it’s a copy of a copy. But if the Spider-Man tale is about anything, it’s about gawky youth and surging powers. And the filmmakers know this and keep the tone skittish and fresh.
a Russian gangster by pulling down his pants. Garfield’s gallant web-slinger may be out in the world and halfway up a building, but he clearly still has one foot in the locker room at high school. Undeniably Webb’s approach cuts a few corners and takes the occasional liberty. But maybe that’s OK; let’s not get hung up. Bloodlines, after all, must adapt in order to survive and The Amazing Spider-Man 2 seems to know exactly what it’s doing. Webb’s film is bold and bright and possesses charm in abundance. It swings into the future and carries the audience with it.
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Childhood heroes never die, they simply outgrow us, outlive us, and transfer their attentions to the generations that follow. Even Spider-Man, whom I loved as a kid, has now long since moved on. He’s taken the Hollywood shilling, embraced three-dimensions and pitched himself squarely at the multiplex crowd. By rights it should be all over between us.
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REVIEWS
MUPPETS: MOST WANTED Ricky Gervais’s lead may lack some of the heart of the original, but the sequel is fun all the way. A surefire pick me up.
After the tidal wave of love that greeted 2011’s The Muppets, it seemed inevitable that a sequel (“technically our seventh” as Dr Bunsen Honeydew points out) would disappoint. The Bret McKenzie-penned opening song grabs the bull by the horns, gaily admitting that “everybody knows that the sequel’s never quite as good” but insisting that “the studio wants more, while they wait for Tom Hanks to make Toy Story 4!” And despite Disney’s dismay at a softerthan-expected US opening (“definitely
disappointing” said distribution head Dave Hollis), Muppets Most Wanted succeeds in delivering a consistent stream of daft in-jokes, comedy Russian accents (“I yam Kyermit thee fryoggg…”), knockabout routines, and top-notch celebrity cameos (Christoph Waltz performing… a waltz!), all strung around a knowingly hackneyed globe-trotting caper narrative.
it doesn’t skimp on good old-fashioned variety entertainment. The bizarre (and unforeseeable) topicality of putting on a show in a Siberian gulag overseen by a trench-coated Tina Fey merely adds to the air of surreal anarchy. Ignore Statler and Waldorf, and just enjoy.
While this may lack the emotional clout of The Muppets star/co-writer Jason Segel’s original reboot (leading man Ricky Gervais doesn’t really do feelings),
TRACKS Mia Wasikowska stars in the true story of a young woman’s 1,700-mile trek across Australia.
transformative movie she will answer Tracks. Why is Davidson on this journey? Is it misanthropy or a form of narcissism? Along the way she meets both white and native Australians scratching a living out of the dirt – faces that could have been photographed by Dorothea Lang. There are scenes where Wasikowska looks so filthy herself, so ragtaggle and roughneck, she might be one of Fagin’s juvenile pickpockets. When Adam Driver, playing an amorous National Geographic photographer, pitches up to accompany her now
and again (she hates the intrusion, hates photographs), you can smell his mouthwash and American optimism. This witty actor (made famous in the HBO TV show Girls) has a way of looking at people with eyes so permanently entertained, so jazzed, he seems to be staring even when he isn’t. Wasikowska curls her lip and continues on her way towards the next stretch of desert or dune – there’s some of the pleasure in, and fear of, sand seen in Minghella’s The English Patient. Vast, dark-dreamish, touching.
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The true story of a young woman’s nine-month, 1,700-mile walk across the deserts of Western Australia in 1977, in the company of just four camels and her dog, Tracks stars prized Australian actress Mia Wasikowska, who has an atmosphere of genuine, stoic thoughtfulness quite different from the professional, much-enduring thoughtfulness you see in some actresses of her age. She goes so deep into the part of author Robyn Davidson you feel certain that in 20 years’ time when asked about her most
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REVIEWS
MUSIC
PHARRELL WILLIAMS G.I.R.L. The 10 songs on Girl are steeped in sunshine, air and the most natural, universal strains of Seventies and Eighties R&B. The thick, juicy beats are full of hand claps and falsetto sex; the overall vibe is less $300 champagne behind the velvet rope than Miller High Life on the stoop in summertime. Where Jay Z bigups his Basquiats and Kanye namedrops Le Corbusier, Pharrell plants his flag on the stanky soil of American pop culture at its most goobery: “Duck Dynasty is cool and all/But they got nothing on the female’s call,” he teases on the elegantly asinine “Hunter,” a daffy blast of disco slapstick. “Lost Queen,” is a Lion King doowop valentine with trace elements of South African mbube, beautifully sung with a lovely, generous sentiment: “Though my planet’s full of warfare, you make it feel like a dream.” Times like these, it’s nice to see such a good dude winning.
PAOLO NUTINI CAUSTIC LOVE As clichéd as it may sound, Paolo has shed any wide-eyed boyhood he had left and has emerged as a man with a cause. Sonically, he has always echoed the ‘60s soul and funk that belong beyond his years, but now his ideas of politics, faith and redemption lie accordingly with the aged smoky tones his voice effortlessly blends with. Where the album really displays its musical chops, it does so with earnestness. ‘Numpty’’s 50s swagger is tinged with familiar blues and self doubt, while the drifting ‘Better Man’ is a schmaltzy serenade that gets away with being overly sentimental because it genuinely is a lovely piece of guitar balladry. That said, Caustic Love’s obvious crowning jewel is the majestic ‘Iron Sky’. Paolo will be the first to admit that he isn’t re-inventing music on Caustic Love - or even attempting to do so - but what he has achieved is a mature and impassioned record that has something bold to say.
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REVIEWS
PALOMA FAITH A PERFECT CONTRADICTION A Perfect Contradiction is certainly cohesive and defiant in its retro-tinged outlook, with Faith in peerless form on the upbeat ‘Other Woman’ and ‘Trouble With My Baby’. Faith has a nice ear for melody and smart turn of phrase. She sounds like a one woman Phil Spector girl group on Taste My Own Tears, and does a slick, jazzy soul turn on Other Woman. It may be nothing new but her punchy, uplifting set of pastiche Sixties and Seventies soul, r’n’b and disco is perfectly pitched with just an appealing hint of exaggeration. American hitmaker Dianne Warren contributes a fantastic Fifties beehive ballad, Only Love Can Hurt Like This, which Faith pulls off with the dramatic poise of a tragic heroine.
IMELDA MAY TRIBAL (DELUXE EDITION) Dubliner Imelda May has done handsomely out of planting herself at the junction where rockabilly, burlesque and streetcorner sassiness meet, and her fourth album doesn’t tinker with the recipe. In May’s hands, rockabilly is a feral form, vitally alive and compelling. When she really gets her teeth into a song, it’s impossible not to be swept away by the whirlwind of pounding percussion, rootsy guitar and ravenous vocals – the two opening tracks are a lesson in ferocity. (And the second, Wild Woman, an essay in primal female desire: “I knew a girl once upon a time/ She grew into a werewolf/ That monster was all mine/ She was incarcerated inside my skin”). The real stunners, though, are the slow-burners: Gypsy in Me and Wicked Way are nuanced blues numbers, the latter made deliciously sleazy by B-movie trumpet fills; the delicacy of Little Pixie, inspired by first-time motherhood, is charming rather than sickly. This album is no time capsule; it’s fresh and bracing.
EDITOR’S CHOICE
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REVIEWS
BOOKS
ALICE HOFFMAN
EMMA DONOGHUE
MAGGIE GEE
THE MUSEUM OF EXTRAORDINARY...
FROG MUSIC
MY CLEANER
The four central characters of this novel were real people, but Donoghue’s purpose is less to solve the puzzle of their intertwined lives, and more to explore her ongoing preoccupations with the sometimes uncomfortable bonds that bind us.
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With its colorful crowds of bootleggers, heiresses, thugs, and idealists, New York itself becomes a riveting character as Hoffman weaves her trademark magic, romance, and masterful storytelling to unite Coralie and Eddie in a sizzling, tender, and moving story of young love in tumultuous times. The Museum of Extraordinary Things is Alice Hoffman at her most spellbinding.
The real-life shooting of cross-dressing gamine Jenny Bonnet is explored in this helter-skelter murder-mystery set in the rooming houses and bars of 1876 San Francisco. Emma Donoghue likes to build fiction from fact. The plot of Frog Music is based on a murder that happened near San Francisco, in the steamy heatwave of 1896, during a raging epidemic of smallpox.
Like Margaret Atwood, Maggie Gee has always been prepared to tackle contemporary ideas on a grand as well as a domestic scale. In The Ice People, Gee conjured a world engulfed by climatic catastrophe. She followed it with The White Family, a sharply observed and humane portrait of an ordinary family eaten alive by its own racism. Now, in My Cleaner, Gee returns to domestic realism and to the twin themes of racism and family life that she explored in The White Family, but in a way that is different and unexpected. It delves into why we do what we do, and whther we’re truly motivated by happiness or necessity.
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Mesmerizing and illuminating, Alice Hoffman’s The Museum of Extraordinary Things is the story of an electric and impassioned love between two vastly different souls in New York during the volatile first decades of the twentieth century.
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REVIEWS
APPS
USTWO GAMES
UBISOFT
HOLY WATER GAMES
MONUMENT VALLEY
RAYMAN FIESTA RUN
FEED ME OIL
WARNER BROS.
ROVIO GAMES
WARNER BROS.
HEADS UP
ANGRY BIRDS GO!
SCRIBBLENAUTS REMIX
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ADVICE
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ADVICE
ADVICE "MY LIFE ISN’T GOING ANYWHERE."
"MY FRIENDS AND I ARE ALL MISERABLE."
Hi. Would really love some advice. I’m approaching 32 and feeling my life isn’t going anyway and should give up. I also am do jealous of my best friend who is 3 years younger then me and suddenly has the perfect life.
The group of girls I consider my best friends are all having a difficult time and, instead of turning towards each other, we seem to be turning away. I care deeply about my friends, but I resent them at times. I understand that when I express my sadness it can sometimes come across as “crying wolf” because I tend to dramatise my emotions. We are a group of girls, one dumped, one sacked, one lost, one who loves unrequitedly, but we have no one to turn to in our sadness. I want to fix this, but I don’t know how. I feel like I need to change my behaviour, so they will be able to confide in me.
I’m female, average looking and slightly overweight. I live in London and have a job started 6 months ago in sales that hate. i am trying to get another job back in marketing which Is what I did for 6 years perving before being made redundant but it’s proving impossible. I think I earn what my 19 year old cousin is on. I’m so scared i am going to be living in this room or a bedsit forever. In this job that is dreadful (it was this or the benefits) whilst my friend’s are directors of ad companies and one has just got job as lawyer.
You describe your friends by virtue of their issues and that might be the first thing to rectify. The troubles we face are not what define us but how we deal with them. It sounds as though you are reliant on a particular script, which may work for a sitcom, but not on a day-to-day basis. When life is in turmoil friends provide a safe place to sound out your problems, expand your understanding and seek advice.
I think at times we all feel our lives are going nowhere or that we have not done anything with our lives. If you feel that way, I encourage you to get out and find things you enjoy.You must get outside yourself to see what is out there and possibly even meet new people. I have gone to certain places where I am now a regular and through those people, I meet other people. I found that in my 20’s and 30’s a lot of my peers liked to brag about what they had, what they earned, etc. Now they are realizing that that isn’t what life is about. So, don’t feel so put down by people. Their lives may not be as rosey as you think. Hopefully this helped a little bit. If you are in a rut, you will find a way out, but it may take some time. Anytime I think about doing something, I have to think about it for awhile before I actually jump.
FROWN MAGAZINE
44
JUNE 2014
ADVICE "I’M TOO SENSITIVE. HOW CAN I TOUGHEN UP?"
"MY LIFE IS DOMINATED BY CHOCOLATE."
I always get told I am “too sensitive” and need to stop taking everything so seriously. On good days I’m fun and gregarious and on bad days I’m nervous and anxious, getting easily hurt by what others say and sometimes what I think they’re thinking. It affects friendships and relationships (all three of my past boyfriends have cited it as a problem). It can be a good trait – I am loyal and compassionate – but the bad side is it drives me and others crazy. I can’t handle criticism and take things too seriously, getting overly upset, overthinking things and cutting people out of my life. I want to be able to roll with the punches and take life lightly! I meditate and read psychology books, but I just haven’t been able to shake it.
I am 45 next week, married with three children, nice house, part-time job, but life is dominated, rather embarrassingly, by… diet. I am no idiot, yet stealing my kids’ chocolate, eating in secret, defining good and bad days by the amount I have eaten is the norm. So boring, so superficial – I am not vain, believe me, but I’m 2st overweight and it rules my life – help!
How very Bridget Jones of you! You’re definitely not the only one being tempted. This whole confectionery business is out of control. Every time I buy a newspaper or a pint of milk I have to battle off a cashier styled on Chitty Chitty Bang Bang’s child-catcher or Mr Creosote’s waiter. No, I don’t want 40% extra Bounty for the price of last year’s less gargantuan bar. The only place that added value is going is my waistline. So, first and foremost, on behalf of your kids, I recommend you stop buying the stuff. You’re clearly not doing your family any favours, and you yourself are struggling to resist. I recently emptied an entire kitchen cupboard of the rubbish I’d squirrelled away or confiscated over the summer holidays. It was truly a cathartic experience, although the kids are now Googling adoption agencies.
FROWN MAGAZINE
What’s interesting about you, and quite unusual, is that you’re not claiming depression, or even mitigating circumstances for your sensitivity. It’s a very good start. Normally the thin-skinned have an endless array of excuses for why their workaday interactions are so much harder to bear for them than for the rest of us. In the eyes of the self-suffering they are being victimised, used and always abused when they’re actually experiencing exactly the same body blows as the rest of us. I’d recommend The Grass is Singing, by the late great Doris Lessing, anything at all by Alice Munro, the heart-wrenching Fugitive Pieces by Anne Michaels and perhaps Dirt Music by Tim Winton. The best fiction strikes at our heart, reminding us that we are flawed and fabulous, unique and much the same as everyone else, and that ultimately our duty is to live well and leave a residue of goodness with those we love, not squander time fretting about the perceptions and slights of others.
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JUNE 2014
ARTICLE
Editor’s Leter Frown started out as a conversation that I had a year ago, when the idea of personal fulfillment was starting to catch fire. By the end of 2013, it was becoming clear that people were just generally unhappy with life. A good time to start a magazine about happiness. Our first issue is all about introducing people to Frown, featuring a wide range of content for people to sink their teeth into. By featuring a unique blend of humour, seriousness and honesty, Frown aims to makae you consider the amount of happiness in your own life, whilst making you happy along the way. Hopefully you enjoyed this first issue To the Frown Magazine Team — Tom, Bontia, Zanis, Jim, Sheri and Charlotte, I can’t thank you enough for taking this leap of faith with me and looking straight ahead. And, to all of of you taking the time to see what we’re all about, thank you so much and welcome. Giant thanks as well to the people who helped us build our new home. And above all, thanks to our writers for throwing in with us—and to you, our first readers, for making it all real. Keep smiling!
Jake Robathan Contact the Frown team at: 07814 881 365 Email us at: hello@frownmagazine.com Send us something nice: 431 Dufferin Street London EC1Y 8NA
FROWN MAGAZINE
46
JUNE 2014