Rise of the Zucchini Master
Written By James Harris
JHarris@RMCAD.edu 770-241-3970
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INT.
SAM'S BEDROOM - 11:00 AM
Sam's alarm clock rings. He silences it, yawns, and gets out of bed. EXT.
SAM'S GARDEN - DAY
Sam opens the door onto his back yard. Zucchini plants are everywhere. Sam smiles at them with pride, pulls out his cell phone, and dials a number. SAM Hey Slick! Yeah, it's Sam. Got some good news for you. You know you told me about that zucchini shortage we were going to have this year? Guess who devoted his entire garden to growing zucchini? Harvesting day is here and I am ready to make a KILLING! And it's all thanks to you, my best buddy who gives me all my hot tips! SLICK Hey, buddy! Yeah, zucchini is big this season! That's why I told ALL my friends to plant as much zucchini as they could! SAM You did? SLICK And they sold me all their zucchini! Man, I'm gonna make a killing! SAM They did? SLICK And I don't have room for any more. Sorry, pal. SAM ...Well what am I supposed to do with all this zucchini? INT.
SAM'S KITCHEN - DAY
Sam is in his kitchen. Some sliced zucchini is on the counter next to him, and he is presiding over a pot of
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boiling water as he looks through a book titled "1001 Zucchini Recipes". SAM Well, so what if Slick can't take my zucchini? With all this stuff, I can feed myself breakfast lunch and dinner until the end of time! Sam sits down in front of a plate full of expertly-cooked zucchini. He lifts his fork, takes a bite, and smiles as he enjoys the taste. INT.
SAM'S KITCHEN - EVENING
At dinner, Sam cooks and enjoys his zucchini using a different recipe. INT.
SAM'S KITCHEN - MORNING
For breakfast, Sam cooks some zucchini and puts it on his scrambled eggs. INT.
SAM'S KITCHEN - AFTERNOON
At lunchtime, Sam enjoys more zucchini. By the expression on his face, the taste is starting to wear a bit thin. INT.
SAM'S KITCHEN - EVENING
At dinner, Sam is no longer enjoying his zucchini. INT.
SAM'S KITCHEN - MORNING
At breakfast, Sam no longer bothers with cooking it and just grimaces as he takes a bite out of a raw zucchini. Two full days have now elapsed with Sam eating only zucchini. Sam eyes his recipe book balefully. Clearly, this will not do. He wanders outside and looks mournfully at his yard full of zucchini, in which he's barely made a dent. With a sudden burst of energy, he throws his hands in the air. SAM At this rate, I'll be eating zucchini breakfast lunch and dinner until the end of time! Men have gone mad over less! He rips a zucchini off the vine and holds it close to his face.
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SAM I will not be defeated by my produce! (Menacingly) I will master my zucchini! INT.
SAM'S LIVING ROOM
MONTAGE: Sam does increasingly strange things with his zucchini. Sam plays checkers with himself (as in Pixar's chess short) using cooked and uncooked zucchini for the dark and light pieces. (Optional, remove if this sequence gets too long) Sam has a zucchini in a hot dog bun. He lays a strip of ketchup on it and takes a bite. Sam has drawn eyes and mouths on several zucchini of varying sizes and is using them like dolls (playing "house"). Sam makes (and drinks) a zucchini smoothie. Sam whittles a crude figurine out of a zucchini. Sam makes a crude log cabin out of zucchinis. Sam teaches his dog to fetch a thrown zucchini. Sam whittles a lovely figurine out of a zucchini. Sam erects a miniature cathedral using zucchini slices. Sam role-plays an intense argument between two zucchini figurines. Sam weaves clothing for himself out of zucchini skin. Sam puts the finishing touches on his zucchini castle. END MONTAGE Sam acts out the scene from "Lord of the Rings" where Frodo drops the Ring into the volcano. Tears are in his eyes as he re-enacts an emotional conversation between Sam and Frodo. Then, overcome with emotion as zucchini Gollum jumps after the zucchini Ring into the orange-lit volcano, he runs screaming outside and hurls the zucchini Ring and Gollum across the street. His dog barks and chases the figurines, and a van brakes to a halt to avoid running over the dog. The side of the van is labeled "Produce for Pantries". EXT.
SAM'S FRONT LAWN - DAY
The DRIVER of the van looks over at Sam, who is panting in
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his doorway, wearing his zucchini clothing and recovering from his emotional outburst. DRIVER Are you OK? SAM So...much...zucchini... DRIVER You know, if you've got too much produce, I can take it somewhere it'll do some good. SAM Would you take this burden from me? Would you lift my zucchini curse? DRIVER That's what I do! There are hungry people all over town. Produce for Pantries takes excess produce from gardeners like yourself and makes sure it gets to the people who need it. You can even join a-SAM (grabs him by the scruff of the neck) "TAKE THE PLANT FROM ME! TAKE IT AND BEGONE!" DRIVER You'd be surprised how often I hear that... The scene is replaced by a title card displaying P4P's logo, web address, and phone number. A female announcer delivers a cheerful pitch about what P4P will do for you and how to get in contact. Fade out. ANNOUNCER Did you know that 40% of home-grown produce goes to waste? Produce for Pantries connects you with local pantries in need of fresh produce To donate your extra produce, or to learn how to start your own garden visit produceforpantries.org. Happy gardening! FADE OUT.
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Sam’s alarm clock rings.
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Conversation with Slick.
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“…Well what am I supposed to do with all this zucchini?”
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“I’ll be able to cook myself breakfast, lunch, and dinner until the end of time!”
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A delicious zucchini meal.
NOTES:
Wearing a bit thin...
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“I WILL MASTER MY ZUCCHINI!”
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Carving a figurine
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Argument between two zucchini-people
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Throwing a figurine across the street
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“Are you OK?”
NOTES:
“If you’ve got too much produce, I can take it somewhere it’ll do some good.”
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“TAKE THE PLANT FROM ME! TAKE IT AND BEGONE!”
NOTES:
Title card