see you never by jamesscarpenter

see you never

From Ways Of Seeing, John Berger: In our urban world, in the streets where we walk, in the busses we take, in the magazines we read, on walls, on screens, we are surrounded by images of an alternative way of life.

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I was born in 1993, a m Generation Y. We are r the global generation, down generation depe whom youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re talking to a family with commitm while I built my dream The Sims. A typical div baby boomer generatio 3

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millennial; regarded as or the heads ending on o. Raised by ment issues; m family on vorce story of the on, if you ask me. 4

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Perhaps the idea of lif unrealistic in the worl in todayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s age. We hav our feelings into a scie the separation of the p emotional; once you o over and check your p followers. Have we be self-obsessed narcissi 9

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felong monogomy is ld we live in, at least ve instead turned ence and perfected physical from the orgasm you roll phone for likes and ecome a generation of ists? 10

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but where is the othe

er way of life?

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one and they donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have no award for that

and they dont have no award for that

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Maybe its because were an age of receivers. Always being affirmed of our greatness even if we were just sitting on the sidelines; everyone gets a trophy just for showing up.

date #1 I went on a POF date with a girl. The set up was fun, we decided not to talk at all before we met, kinda like a real date would go before the internet. So we were both excited, set up to meet at an old bar in the city. I got there early, she arrived 5 min later.

We talked, she suggested we eat. I wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t super hungry, but got something. She drank about 4 drinks. During conversation, we had a lot in common, worked at the same place about a month apart, same movies, music, etc. Then at the end, I ask for the check. She says she needs

Dates from internet stories, social media, or anonymous posting apps.

to go to the bathroom, and then gets up and straight leaves. Just right out the front door, adios. I went back to ask her why she did that, she deleted her account. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not entirely sure she wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t just a very hungry ghost.

and they dont have no award for that

Others think it’s because we interact all day almost entirely through screens; sitting at bars with friends as we scroll through twitter feeds. We text someone when we order McDonald’s and tell our social media followers about our hook up the night before. Millennials have exchanged our physical interaction for digital.

K I S S ME T HRU T HE P H ONE s o ul j a b o y Baby you know that I miss you, I wanna get with you tonight But I cannot baby girl and that’s the issue Girl you know I miss you, I just wanna kiss you But I can’t right now so baby kiss me through the phone

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two selfie light

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Constantly texting, tweeting, emailing, and posting to overshare our information with others as we shape our personal identity to present how we want to be.

date #2 A woman who claimed to be a customer where I worked sent me a friend request on Facebook. So, not wanting to be rude to a customer I accepted. She claimed to be a Harvard educated doctor. I never recalled seeing her at work. She would chat me up whenever I was on Facebook. At first it was mild, then more suggestive, and then totally sexual. At work, I started looking at every customer who came in, but never saw her. Then she would say she saw me at work, but I just didn’t see

her. She had pictures on her profile so I knew what she looked like. I asked my coworkers if they had heard of her and they hadn’t. One day I overheard one of our customers talking about travel. His friend asks him how many languages he speaks and he said five: English, French, Hebrew, Brazilian Portugueseand Arabic. My mind flashes to the woman’s Facebook profile. She speaks five languages. Sure enough, I get home and check, and it’s the same five. The

odds on two people in the same town speaking that combination of languages, pretty much impossible. I told a coworker and she agreed that this customer (a male college professor) had to be our girl. I did a reverse image search and found the girl who’s pictures he was using is a local artist and a friend of his. I’ve been tempted to let her know but I don’t know what I could possibly say.

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We have mastered the deceptive selfie angle and curated our Facebook feeds so it looks like were having more fun that we actually are. Forever editing our about me’s, selfies, and posts just enough to captivate the viewers and suck them in for the follow.

date #3 Well, when I was about 15, I started talking to a guy named Josh online. Great-looking, lots in common, just slightly above my age, like 17, progressed to talking on the phone then one day “Josh” tells me he has to tell me something. “Josh” turned the voice changer off the phone and quickly became Shannon. A hot girl but a girl none the less. We still dated IRL for about 5 months after I realized I liked pussy too, turns out she was fucking crazy and violently/aggressively stalked me for 4 years.

H U MB L E ke n dri ck lam ar I’m so fuckin’ sick and tire d of the Photoshop Show me somethin’ natural like afro on Richard Pr yor Show me somethin’ natural like ass with some stretch marks Still will take you down right on your mama’s couch in Polo socks, ayy This shit way too craz y, ayy, you do not amaze me, ayy

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t zit off my and make ttle bigger 35

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Of course, we weren’t born this way. MTV has delivered us a parade of reality tv shows that show regular people celebrated for doing absolutely nothing but get shit faced. They give us confidence by making it seem like they are “going after what they want” when actually they just want to get the most fucks on their channel.

C H A N G E L O C AT I ONS dr ake & fu t ure 60 nake d bitches, no exaggeration We bought all the bottles, had to change locations Smashing all the models, now we hit the waitress When you gettin’ a lot of money you can’t help but save it

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date #4 Straight male here, got laid of craigslist once. Just sent a straightforward, honest e-mail describing myself and my intentions (I’m also active on OkCupid, so that carried over well enough). She replied, we made small chat about why we were resorting to CL, etc. Eventually moved to texting. We texted on and off for a week or so before actually meeting up. We had exchanged a few pictures, and though I hadn’t voice verified, I believed she was who

she claimed to be. She wasn’t a stunner, but neither was I, and I figured we were both in the same boat. So we met up at Starbucks, and I was pleasantly surprised; she was a bit prettier and much easier to talk to than I had anticipated. We talked about work and pets over coffee, then I got in my car and followed her to her apartment. Go in, smoke a bowl, sit up on the cou ch and watch an episode of something. I was having trouble

figuring out how to go from conversation straight to what we were both going for. Eventually she stood up, took off her shirt, and said, “Are we doing this?” And we did. Fairly normal, nothing weird (unfortunately), all safe. Afterwards, she says, “Don’t feel like you have to hang out any longer than you want to.” I said, “Thanks, I had some other plans to get to.” and left. We didn’t talk again.

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LO V E G A LORE s z a Shouldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve never g ave you my number I did it with you Shouldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve never let you hit it I split it with you I regret it

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Millennials have all become an oversharing and sex tape filming Kardashian, but we don’t see anything wrong with that. We are going to like what our friends tells us rather than an ad campaign, even if that friend is an insta-celeb trying to make money and the friendship is just a retweet.

date #5 “How can I tell nicely to a gentleman, that I don’t go the same way he goes.. without hurting his feelings? Because I think I led him on.. but I was being nice .. I thought he wanted to be friends.” “I don’t know why you got the idea I’m a bologna smoker, but I don’t roll that way”

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three hey siri

hey siri

Is anybody actually listening anymore?

date #6 S T O R Y T I M E ! ! Ok get ready f o r t h i s . . . S o I met this g i r l a f t e r I pretty much s a v e d h e r f rom drowning w h i l e I w o r ked as a li f e g u a r d d u ring a summer b a c k i n 2 0 1 4 . The idiot li f e g u a r d h a d scanned t h e w a t e r o v er and over b e f o r e I s w i tched spots w i t h h i m , I saw her as so o n a s I w as scanning in , s h e w a s about my age an d s h e w a s spazing at t h e b o t t o m of the pool.I in s t a n t l y r e alized she was in t h e h y p o x ic convulsion st a g e o f d r owning (this is w h e r e s h e turns blue, is u n c o n s c i o us, froths f r o m t h e m o uth a bit, an d h a s s m a ll spasms.) w e l l I j u m p in and saved h e r , t h e f a t her thanked

me, she went off to the hospital... about 2 weeks later i get a visitor during lunch break and its her. We start talking and decide that we would go on a date the next week. She drove for the date and before we even went to bravos (which is where the date would take place) she said “I have to run errands” so for the next 4 hours we are driving to different stores and houses to “return clothes” or “give a friend clothes”...she had a ton of cloths in her car...well about the time the 4th hour rolled around she came back to the car and said “ok lets go” but before she drove

o f f her friend ran to the c a r holding her panties s c r e aming “ WAIT YOU F O R G O T TO PUT THEM BACK O N ! ” before he realized t h a t I was in the car... s o I got out and called my f r i e n d to pick me up... T h a t was the story of the t i m e i saved somebodies l i f e , dated them, went on d a t e only for date to end a f t e r I realized she was b a n g ing someone at every e r r a n d stop she made. TL; D R : saved girls life, went o n d a te, girl runs tons of e r r a n ds, at end I realized a l l errands involved her b a n g ing someone.

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hey siri

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Many are hopeful that a digital assistant will come along that can work like a partner; similar to the movie Her. Forever listening to our thoughts even without us realizing and reassuring ourselves that our problems are worse than others.

C A N’ T F E E L M Y FAC E t h e w e e k n d I can’t fe el my face when I’m with you But I love it, but I love it, oh I can’t fe el my face when I’m with you But I love it, but I love it, oh

hey siri

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date #7 I went to a tinder date, the person I matched with was quite nice. However she bought her “friend” along as a sort security gesture, who happens to be the human embodiment of a wombat. This wasn’t to bad as she initially just went to the bar area whilst we had a quick dinner. This lasted about 20 minutes or so, until

she came back and kept drunkenly making jokes about how she’s “So unlucky I didn’t match with her on tinder”. I ended the date within about 10 minutes and went home, I got a text saying “I’m am so sorry” from the tinderella and she offered a second date with no friend.

facebook message from the wombat. “You’ll never guess what I named my child.” It was my name, with the wrong spelling. I fear for my safety.

We dated for a few months, and then about a year later I got a

hey siri

For the last 23 years I have put a screen in front of my face as an excuse to say no one is listening.

D A N C E ( A $ $ ) b i g s e an They pay me respe c t they pay me in che cks And if she look good she pay me in sex (do it) Bounce that ass (ass) it’s the roundest You the best, you deser ve a crown bitch, right on that ass

date #8 “How do you find friends who will have casual sex with you? I need at least one friend like that” 'If your a f then I’m down”

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four google that shit

google that shit

Due to the infinite amount of information at the ends of our fingertips we can direct our attention anywhere necessary; towards the news, social media, or porn sites. This means there is always someone there to listen to us and in a sense makes us believe we will never be alone.

date #9 21/m here, met up with a 18/f. She was attractive. During our chats we talked about reddit (seriously, she liked it) and a few movies. Eventually, I got the courage to ask her to see a movie with me. I forget what it was, it was some crappy horror film. Cliche date, I know. Anyway, as I drive there im nervous as all hell. I have never done ANYTHING before. Seriously. So I pull up to the theater, and there she is. She is

beautiful. Perfect body. I get out of my car and walk over. I’m sweating buckets at this point. I awkwardly say “let’s go watch the movie” and she laughs.”we need to buy tickets, silly” she says, giving me a funny look. I forgot. We go buy the tickets. She pays for her own ticket, which makes me happy. We walk in and she buys me popcorn. Like an idiot, I don’t talk this entire time. Soon as we walk to the theater room,

she says “so, what do you like about this movie’s trailer?”. I don’t respond, like a nervous wreck. We see the movie and I’m quiet throughout. Soon, she puts her arm on my shoulder. I’m so nervous I say “I need to use the toilet” and I get out of the room. I then sprint to my car and drive home. She texts “whats taking so long” and I never reply.

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But does that sense of loneliness mean anything if when we lose touch to our glassy devices we begin to panic and reach for more? We have forgotten how to be alone and only know how to be lonely.

date #10 “Anyone up right now?” “I think deep down every one’s problem is that they could use a friend. God knows I could.”

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five nothing lasts forever

nothing lasts forever

J UK E J A M c h an c e t h e r a pp er We can have a par t y, just listening to music L ike we use d to do Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll get close to you I remember you

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Truth is, the cloud that lives in satellites above us and physical file storage media, like CD’s, are not permanent like Mount Everest.

date #11 “Well I guess since yik yak is shutting down I shall reveal my secret identity on friday”

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Instead they are more like our glaciers that many think are everlasting but are quickly melting into the sea. Soon the seas will rise and we will remember our coast that we took for granted.

date #12 It was horrible. I installed the app for fun and just to fuck around with when I’m bored, ended up matching with a girl and talked to her for like 2 weeks and exchanged numbers & FB info. She was pretty, seemed really cool, and we shared a lot in common. Eventually she said we should hang out, and I said sure. We met up at a mall and just walked around and talked for about an hour, and

I left. After, I knew I wasn’t going to pursue her. Over text she seemed pretty cool, but in person she was just... off, idk I can’t really explain it. Anyway, within 2min of me getting back in the car, she texted me wanting to know my real opinion on her now. Kinda weird, but whatever she seems weird so I just replied saying yeah she’s cool and whatever. Big mistake. Over the course of the

next 2 hours, I received over 80 texts, about 10 calls and a couple VMs, all of her crying and saying I need to move in with her and her Dad because she’s suicidal and I needed to take care of her. I was blunt with her in saying no and this can’t go on anymore and to stop contacting me, but nothing changed. I had to delete my FB profile, block her number, etc. I deleted the app after that.

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six divorced

divorced

When the divorce happened I would lock myself in my bedroom and listen to the yelling. And by listen I mean cover my ears with pillows so I didn’t have to be a part of it.

WA S N’ T ME sh a g g y But she caught me on the counter (Wasn’t me) Saw me banging on the sofa (Wasn’t me) I even had her in the shower (Wasn’t me) She even caught me on camera (Wasn’t me) She saw the marks on my shoulder (Wasn’t me) Hears the words that I told her (Wasn’t me) As the screams get louder (Wasn’t me) She staye d until it was over

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date #13 I started dating a guy I met on tinder. Our first date went great and we started seeing each other every day. We kissed, and slept together, no sex. He told me he is divorced, with one son, lives in San Diego and was in my town for work and he is expecting to stay here for 2 years if his company won a bid for construction. This guy is really sweet and thoughtful and was taking me out often. Although he was nice and there really were no red flags, I felt like something was up with him. I don’t have him on any social media so I decide to google him from my phone. No results pertaining to him, so I check the images. I found a picture of him and his son, click it and

am routed to a blog. The blog is his (ex?) wife’s. The pic is from 2013 so I think ok, well it’s old and they’re divorced now. I couldn’t find any recent posts so I forget it. That same day he texts me to make plans and I agree. But at that moment my gut tells me, search again. I search again and find recent posts on the blog from September 2015. There are pictures of him, the woman, and 2 boys. So he has 2 sons, not one like he told me. I get home and search again on my laptop. The blog has the woman’s public Instagram name.. They’re not only still married, he not only has 2 sons, he has a baby on the way, and his whole family was here visiting him 2 weeks ago. Also, they live

in Washington (not SD), and he told me he was going to Washington next week for work. He texts me to see if I was ready to meet up, I send him a picture of his pregnant wife and sons and he never responded. I’m not going to contact him again. After talking to my friends about what happened it’s a divided consensus on whether or not I should contact his wife. I personally do not want to tell her, I think it might bring a lot of harm to her and her children. But some of my friends are telling me that I should because she deserves to know that her husband is basically living a double life. He travels for work and probably does this all the time.

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What I didn’t realize then is how this would make me perceive monogamy in my current age and how I would compare it to the new iPhone I got last week; when its cracked and not working, time for a replacement.

IRRE P L AC E A B L E b e y on c e You must not know about me, you must not know about me I could have another you in a minute Matter of fac t, he’ll be here in a minute, baby You must not know about me, you must not know about me I can have another you by tomorrow So don’t you ever for a se cond get to thinking You’re irreplaceable

I feel really c staring at my p

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comfortable phone with you

divorced

Fall in love, get married, have kids, cheat, and move on the next one; all while leaving the past behind.

JE A L O U S b e y on c e I wish that you were me So you could fe el this fe eling I never broke one promise, and I know when you’re not honest Now you got me yelling that’s be cause I’m jealous If you ke eping your promise, I’m ke eping mine Oh I’m jealous If you ke eping your promise, I’m ke eping mine Oh I’m jealous

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Well shit, at least my sister put the bitch against the wall and my Mom threw a propane tank into the tramps windshield.

H OL D UP b e y on c e

date #14

How did it come down to this? Scrolling through your call list I don’t wanna lose my pride, but I’mma fuck me up a bitch Know that I kept it sex y, you know I kept it fun There’s something that I’m missing, maybe my head for one

A few months ago I went on a date with a guy from Tinder. It went really well, we got drinks then just hung out at his place and watched a movie, didn’t do anything. Two days later he shows up at my work begging for me to come out to his car and suck his dick in exchange for pizza.

What’s worse, lookin’ jealous or craz y? Jealous or craz y? Or like being walke d all over lately, walke d all over latel y I’d rather be craz y

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seven clam hands

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I remember growing up and my sister saying that sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s more of a boy than I am. Like damn, what do I have to do to be accepted around you guys? Are my hands not rough enough to be a boy?

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D O M Y T H A N G mile y c y rus You think I’m strange, bitch? It’s bananas like a fucking ‘rangatang bitch Don’t worr y ‘bout me I got it all arrange d bitch Mind your business, stay in your lane bitch

clam hands

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clam hands

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I guess we do live in a hyper-masculine society after all. Maybe if I had joined some sports teams or was in the military I would be straight and have some calluses on my hands. Probably wouldn’t be sitting here writing this gay hook up book either.

D O M Y T H A N G C ON T. mile y c y rus Ever y sing le night and ever y sing le day I’mma do my thing, I’mma do my thing So don’t you worr y ‘bout me, I’ma be okay I’mma do my thing, ‘cause I’mma do my thing

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date #15 Broke up after finding his Craigslist personal ads. Packed his shit and left it by the door. His story changed a thousand times and his abusive tendencies escalated very quickly. Thank god we were only together 6 weeks. He kept contacting me afterwards. Finally I responded and he basically goes into this whole, “what did I do right” I’m just trying to do right , because this new girl I got together with immediately after you is apparantly pregnant with someone else’s baby. Seriously, I could not have planned that revenge better if I had tried. So then he asks “ is she just after me for my money?(

which is weird bc he didn’t have any) “ you know, I’m just trying to be a nice guy here, raising someone else’s baby. That’s why I just had to contact you, can you please, seriously let me know what I did right in our relationship, the parts you miss, so I can figure out if she’s after my money or If she really likes me. I mean, can you beleive her ex tried to get her to abort? What a jerk, I don’t know if I should stay though. Since she’s pregnant and all. You know, I would be willing to get back together with you if you wanted. I really feel like I messed up, and I see the error in my ways. Would you be interested in giving it another shot?”

I told him no - and that my life was one million times better withit him. And if he was really “ a nice guy” he wouldn’t be leading this poor girl on when all he was looking for was a rebound . To which he replied “ you’re a fucking twat. I’m glad we broke up. My current relation ship is so much better even if she is pregnant! Lol enjoy your life bitch” No, he is not 12. He was 20 something with the mentality of a 5 year old. And this was his usual behavior. Double standards, zero accountability, bad temper, complete narcissist. I wish I wasn’t typing from my phone so I could post more.

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We get yelled at by our parents for looking at our phones too much but maybe keeping our heads down is a cover up for something else.

W HE RE T HE H O OD AT dm x Last I heard, y â&#x20AC;&#x2122;all niggas was havin sex, with the same sex I show no love, to homo thugs Empt y out, reload and throw more slugs How you gonna explain fucking a man?

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Gay community members are forever gluing eyes to screens because we feel disconnected from our human relationships and it is one of the only safe outlets for communication.

date #16 Back when I was still exploring my sexuality as a freshmen in college, I downloaded grindr. Began talking to a guy just as friends, as I was in a relationship with a girl at the time. In order to prevent any mixed messages, I made it very clear I only needed a sympathetic ear to listen and someone to answer my questions. For awhile

things were going well, I was convinced I had made a genuine friend, someone I could trust. That was until rumors began circulating that I was hooking up with this guy I had never even met in person. Rumors that he had started, which unfortunately reached my then girlfriend. For me, far in the closet, unsure and in a straight

relationship, this was terrifying. I denied everything and cut all ties with the guy. Over the past year and a half, heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s since added me on every social media imaginable in an attempt to apologize and make amends. But the damage was done.

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Rosenfeld, a sociologist from Stanford University, presents us with information that shows same sex couples are connecting more and more through online dating apps â&#x20AC;&#x201C;

been in a therapy m than Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve do and delete

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and out of more times ownloaded ed Grindr 107

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date #17 When I was in high school, I was the only gay guy in my school of less than 400 kids. I denied my sexuality my whole life until I was about sixteen, and around the time I accepted it, I discovered online hookup sites, like Craigslist, Grindr, etc. To say I went wild would be an understatement.

submission, so I would let these men treat me like shit because I thought it was hot.I had never had meaningful sex before though, so I didn’t realize I was really just letting these men abuse me. By the time I graduated high school I had probably been fucked by around thirty different men.

I lost my virginity to a 33-year old man who lived near me.

The married man who fucked me outside Lowes was just the point where I realized my self-esteem had fallen to such a point that I just didn’t care anymore. I met him on craigslist. He didn’t have the house to himself, so we had to

As time passed, I kept meeting more and more men. I usually hooked up with older guys and discovered I was into domination and

find a place to do it, and the nearest semi-empty space was Lowes. I didn’t even moan during the sex, I just laid there and took whatever he did to me, then walked home completely numb and cried in the shower for a very long time. I told my parents I’d been sexually abused, that I was hurting myself, that I’d been contemplating suicide, and that I needed to see someone about it.

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You would think living in a community of people similar to us is beneficial. Not so for the gay community; living in gay neighborhoods predict higher rates of risky sex and drug use with less time spent on other community activities.

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W I C K E D G A ME S t h e w e e k n d Bring your love, baby, I could bring my shame Bring the drugs, baby, I could bring my pain I got my hear t right here I got my scars right here Bring the cups, baby, I could bring the drank Bring your body, baby, I could bring you fame And thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s my mother fucking words, too So let me mother fucking love you (Only for tonight, Only for tonight)

Our interactions with one another are irrelevant and we treat our real life relationships like ones we have online. Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s snort poppers, fuck, and find a new match. 112

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nine nothing worth seeing

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As Keuroghlian puts it, gay men are prepared to expect rejection and are constantly scanning social situations for ways we may not fit in. We have learned to deal with situations in ways the rest of the population can ignore.

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We get discriminated against just as much as females or other races. Imagine if we were told we can’t work a job or ace a test because of our sexuality? Well guess what. It’s the truth.

UNDE RC O V E R ke hlani Baby, they don’t wanna se e me be happy ‘Cause they ain’t happy, no—they don’t got you Somethin’ ‘bout the way we be ac ting Babe, we are magical Might just have to hit me up, on the late night When it’s game time, I don’t play nice I ne e d you to hit me up, on my fake line Hit that 6-9, yeah, that FaceTime

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date #18 Got drunk at my friends 21st birthday. I have a gay friend who like to take care of people when they start puking. So I’m in the bathroom puking and he brings in water and starts patting my back; “It’s going to be okay, just drink water” he says. So then he starts rubbing my stomach and I’m like “what a great friend taking care of me like this.” So then I’m not even puking anymore and both of us are just lying on the floor while he has his hand up my shirt rubbing my nips and stuff and we’re cuddling and I’m like “what a bro this dude is”. I think I got semimolested; but whatever.

For example,t our minority status is illusive. Not only do we have to do all this extra work and answer so many internal questions when were teenagers, but we also have to do it without any help. Except for the screens that let us escape into the early hours of the morning after we have been at school all day.

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date #19 He came over to my place for a hookup. First flag was that he had edited all of his pictures to make himself look very white and pale, when he was actually moderately-dark latino. Not something I was super-concerned about, but I did notice. As things progressed, it became evident that he wanted to make out, and nothing more. Alright, I think, he’s kinda cute, sure. Then, he wants to

masturbate while we make out. ...Alright... I think, getting a little on the strange side. Then he starts telling me how hot I am, and how I look just like his older brother, I have his same (white) skin color, and his same blue eyes; and how he always wanted to have pale white skin and blue eyes.

you!” when he finished, which wasn’t long (maybe a few seconds) after the brother thing, and then he left. Ended up ghosting the guy, because I just couldn’t deal with that level of...whatever that was.

I didn’t even know what to do. He near shouted “fuck I want to be as hot as

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nothing worth seeing

This is how I spent my childhood, living a life online because in the real world I would be forever overcompensating to cover up who I was.

IF I W E RE A B OY b e y on c e If I were a boy Even just for a day I’d roll outta be d in the morning And throw on what I wante d and go Drink be er with the guys And chase af ter girls I’d kick it with who I wante d And I’d never get confronte d for it Cause they ’d stick up for me

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Once at a sleepover when I was 15 I got caught looking at my friend when he was changing. “What are you staring at?” he said. I managed to brush it off by saying “Nothing worth seeing” and looking the other way–then I spent the rest of the days and weeks worrying about what he was thinking and saying about me, but he never brought it up. The only bullying occurred was in my conscious.

date #20 So I was on a subway riding home, and there was this really hot guy. Now it’s not always easy to tell if a guy is straight or gay, but my gaydar was pretty set on straight with his MMA T-shirt and duffle bag. So I kinda glanced over a couple of times and got caught by my third and I stopped. As he was leaving his subway stop, he walks by and calls me a “fucking faggot”.

C HE C K I T O U T ni ck i min a j & w ill. i . am Step up in the par t y like my name was That Bitch All these haters mad be cause I’m so establishe d They know I’m a beast yeah I’m a fucking savage Haters you can kill yourself

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ten cyber bully

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After coming out all you want to feel is acceptance and expect to fall in love but instead we get dick pics and asked to be discreet so the man’s wife doesn’t find out.

M A RV IN’S RO O M dr ake I think I’m addic te d to nake d pic tures And sitting talking ‘bout bitches that we almost had I don’t think I’m conscious of makin’ monsters Outta the women I sponsor ‘ til it all goes bad But, shit, it’s all good

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cyber bully

date #21 This has always bothered me as well.....for me it just backups the dumb stereotype that “gay/ bi men always want sex.” I have a story about a married man: we met on Grindr, of course, he was 2 miles away from my house. We texted for a good while, he seemed cool, good body, nice cock, and good looking....all signs pointed to a “yes.” I get

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to his and we started to mess around and he says “gotta be quiet my little girl is sleeping upstairs” I was a little uncomfortable but then I saw a picture of his wife and him next to THEIR bed, while he’s taking my pants off. I freaked.... told him I couldn’t do it, he lied to me, and that he needs to get his shit together. And I left. It’s not worth it

to me....you’re starting to step into someone’s life when their married and have children. I just kept on thinking what if his wife walks in or his daughter has an emergency of some sort. I’ll quote my grandpa, “think with your upstairs, not your downstairs”

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The gay community treats each other like pieces of meat and avoid emotions at all cost; maybe we have learned to be numb to feelings even before were out of the closet. Maybe we have spent too much time on dating sites searching for a fuck and forgot how to have a conversation.

date #22 hey

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WAT C H N L E A RN rih an n a I’mma do it do it do it On the be d on the floor on the couch Only cause your lips ain’t make it to my mouth Just be cause I can’t kiss back Doesn’t mean you can’t kiss that

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cyber bully

It’s like we grow up with all this gay loneliness and we arrive in Boystown ready to feel accepted but instead everyone is just as alone. We come to the realization that it’s not our gayness that gets us rejected but it’s actually our physical appearance.

date #23 I was chatting with this guy for a bit and he had invited me over. When we were messaging, he told me he was going to shower when I got to his place and he wanted me to be in bed naked when he got out. I was down. I got to his place and we sat at his kitchen table for a bit and talked for a while. After a bit, I asked him if he was going to take that shower. He

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replied, “Yeah.. that’s not happening anymore.” “Why... do I not look like my pictures?” “No, you look exactly like them. You know how when you respect someone as a person and you don’t really want to sleep with them anymore?” “No not really. So you’re saying because I’m not a

piece of shit you don’t want to sleep with me anymore?” “I guess so. That’s just my thing.”

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After being bullied our whole lives we have grown up and become our own worst enemy.

date #24 I met someone and we ended up having sex but I realized we had basically nothing in common so I told him that later and wished him well. That was around four months ago and he still texts me on grindr with different accounts.

S W IMMIN G P O OL S ke n dri ck lam ar Some pe ople wanna fit in with the popular, that was my problem I was in a dark room, loud tunes, looking to make a vow soon That Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ma get fucke d up, fillinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; up my cup, I se e the crowd mood Pour up (Drank), head shot (Drank) Sit down (Drank), stand up (Drank) Pass out (Drank), wake up (Drank) Fade d (Drank), fade d (Drank)

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eleven dramatic bitches

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dramatic bitches

Truth is, most gay men are not that nice to one another. I mean can you blame us? We are known to be dramatic bitches.

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and they dont have no award for that

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Maybe this comes from our childhood; we did lie to ourselves for most of our adolescence but we don’t want to show that to other people. So we showed people what the people showed us, nastiness and discrimination.

S ORRY b e y on c e Sorr y, I ain’t sorr y Sorr y, I ain’t sorr y I ain’t sorr y

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dramatic bitches

We carry around a mental diary of every shitty thing a gay man has said and done to us. One time I went on a coffee date and the guy commented about how I shaved my beard. We left and I never heard from the tinder match again (until he was wasted and horny 3 nights later).

date #25 Late night I was looking to get laid I invite this guy over. Send him my address, he can’t make it but he seems nice. We eventually exchange numbers. We try to meet up but bad timing doesn’t allow it. I lose interest but he gets very clingy. If I don’t text back he gets angry proceeds to send several texts,

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phone calls with crazy voicemails. He then starts stalking me shows up at my house and sends pictures of the cars that were in my driveway while out of the house. This craziness continues for months I tried to befriend him but that didn’t work. One day he calls and I blow up in a rage cursing him out

cause I was having a terrible day. He never called after thank god but I was genuinely scared for awhile.

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P RE T T Y H UR T S b e y on c e Mama said, you’re a prett y girl What’s in your head it doesn’t matter Brush your hair, fix your te eth What you wear is all that matters

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Last Thanksgiving, I received a Grindr message that said: “You used to be so sexy, its a shame you messed that up.”

date #26 I cross dress, met a guy through a dating app. Did a kinda dinner date at my place. I don’t dress fully in public expect on special occasions (halloween). So for the date im in full character and stuff. Dinner was fine, chatting with him, wasn’t feeling it, he was an ass hole really. But I was fine watching a

movie and chatting. We were on opposite sides of the couch. He tries to get handsy. I say no. He grabs my arm and my head and tries to force me down. I give him a hard punch to the junk and grab a fork from the table and warned him I would use it. He left after that.

Aftermath, bruised arm, tore my nice skirt, and bent one of my forks. Has also kinda tainted the fun I got out of my hobby. Haven’t fully dressed since it happened.

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and they dont have no award for that

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and they dont have no award for that

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and they dont have no award for that

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Like, hey, “dude,” y closet once and so w don’t we just conso and remember the we used our screen portal of the gay co seemed light years can just send each over Grindr, that’s c 166

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you were in the was I. So why ole each other days when ns to access a ommunity that away. Or we other nudes cool too. 167

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felong monogomy is ld we live in, at least ve instead turned ence and perfected physical from the orgasm you roll phone for likes and ecome a generation of ists? 171