263. Voeschanan & Tu BAv

‫מוצאי שבת ר"ת‬

‫מוצאי שבת‬

263

Issue

‫פקד יפקד ה' אתכם‬

‫הריני בא ללמוד תורה לשמה לעשות נחת רוח לאבינו שבשמים‬

MORE NOW THAN EVER

‫בס"ד‬

)‫פרשת ואתחנן (נחמו‬ ‫י"א אב תש"פ‬

1 August 2020 '‫פרקי אבות פרק ג‬

‫קבלת שבת‬

JLM

MAN

LON

JLM

BMTH

GLSCW

GHD

MAN

LON

JLM

BMTH

GLSCW

GHD

MAN

LON

8.58

10.17

10.02

8.16

9.52

10.38

10.19

10.11

9.50

7.00

8.38

9.10

8.55

8.51

8.34

Slow and Steady Wins the Race I had a friend in yeshiva who was (by his own admission) ‘the first in the ‫ בית המדרש‬in the morning and the last to leave at night’.

message. What was that message?

Learning from early morning until late at night is indeed highly virtuous and commendable.

In fact, the great tanna Rebbi Eliezer ben Hurkanus said of himself, ‘no-one ever got to the Beis Hamedrash before me’ and ‘I never left the Beis Hamedrash when there was anyone there’; i.e. he was always the last to leave.

Perhaps this report of Rebbi Eliezer ben Hurkanus may have actually been what inspired my friend.

The trouble was that during the day, the young man was nowhere to be seen.

It’s great to do ‘great-sounding’ things, but if that’s all you are doing, well...

This week, we have a replay of the events that took place at the giving of the Torah on Har Sinai. The Ribbono Shel Olam chose to deliver us the Torah amidst much drama: there was the piercing sound of a shofar, mighty thunder, clouds and darkness. We can’t accept that these were ‫ח”ו‬ simply bells and whistles designed for maximum effect. This was a Divine event. Everything had a

Now, let’s say I were to ask you: of the two aforementioned sounds, ‫( קולות וברקים‬mighty thunder and lightning) and ‫קול‬ ‫( שפר‬piercing sound of a shofar),

Yet, take a look at the original account – in ‫ – פרשת יתרו‬and you’ll notice two things. Firstly, the ‫ קול שפר‬is described as being ‘‫‘ ’חָ זָק ְמא ֹד‬very strong’, while the ‫ – קולות וברקים‬the far more spectacular sounds – are given no such accolades.

Secondly, three ‫ פסוקים‬later, the ‫ קול שפר‬gets another mention, ְ this time”‫”הֹולֵך וְחָ זֵק ְמא ֹד‬ – getting even stronger, while the ‫קולות‬

‫ספר דברים‬

‫ספר במדבר‬

‫לע"נ ר' יקותיאל זלמן נאה ז''ל‬ ‫בן ר' חנניה יו''ט ליפא הי''ד‬ ‫נלב''ע ט''ז אדר תשע''ז‬

‫לע"נ מרת טויבא רחל נאה ע''ה‬ ‫בת ר' שמואל שמעלקא הי''ד‬ ‫נלב''ע כ''ה מנחם אב תשע''ז‬

Mesivta Orchos Chaim, Gateshead

‫ וברקים‬get no mention at all!

The ‫ כלי יקר‬suggests that the two types of sounds represent two types of people. There is the superficial, easily impressionable person and then there is his thought-out, methodical counterpart.

The ‫ קולות וברקים‬symbolise the shallow, skin-deep approach – the line of thinking that it’s the big, showy things that we do that bring success. But they don’t.

There’s lots of fanfare, but nothing to show at the end – it wasn’t ‘‫’חָ זָק‬ in the first place and before you know it, it isn’t there at all.

which is more dramatic, which one is more likely to instil fear, which of these will create a greater impact? I think the answer would be the ‫קולות וברקים‬.

Rabbi Nechemia Guttentag

The ‫ קול שפר‬however, whilst far less dazzling, is ‫חָ זָק ְמא ֹד‬, it’s there to stay. And not only does ְ it stay, but it is ‘‫’הֹולֵך וְחָ זֵק ְמא ֹד‬, it gets stronger and more robust with time.

It’s true that we need drama to keep us going through the humdrum; but that’s not what builds us. It’s the steady consistency of the non-dazzling, unspectacular, ordinary roles and responsibilities of daily life that join together to build a spectacular, dazzling and everlasting edifice.

Because after all, slow and steady wins the race. M

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Oneg Shabbos Issue 263

My Torahas great as I make it Our valuation of Torah

ChameleonsEy e

ָ ‫ְׁשּנַנְּתָ ם לְ ָבנ‬ "‫ֶיך‬ ִ ‫ "ו‬- and you should teach it to your son (Devarim 6:7) As we read about the mitzvah of Talmud Torah the following wonderful story springs to mind: The great gaon Rav Isser Zalman Meltzer zt’l spent large amounts of his time giving advice and assistance to an abundance of Jews, all wanting to hear what the great leader would say to them. However, R’ Isser Zalman had certain times for learning; during these hours, he was to be undisturbed. His Rebbetzen was under strict instructions to help allow him to fulfill this.

One day a wealthy business man (very trustworthy and well-known) knocked on the Meltzers’ door, asking to speak to the Rov. However the Rebbetzin very respectfully said, “I’m very sorry but the Rov is currently unavailable. If you come back in a few hours, he will be very happy to speak to you then.” The man persisted, “I have a wonderful business proposition for the Rov, where he will be guaranteed great remuneration. If he will just sign a few documents, I will do all the hard work”. But again, the Rebbetzen repeated, “I’m very sorry, but the Rov is currently learning, and during these hours he refuses to be disturbed”. The man responded, confident that he would be able to prevail, and said “The offer is here. If you would just let me speak with him for a moment, he will be guaranteed at least 20 000 shekels. But if not now, then I will take my kind generosity elsewhere’. Despite his efforts, the Rebbetzin once again very calmly and politely apologized.

The Rov, after finishing his learning that morning, appeared before his wife. She immediately told him about the morning’s event, unsure of how he would respond; there were thousands of shekels at stake - was she correct to have not disturbed him??

Instantly, the Rov broke out in ecstasy and responded, “Finally, I have been waiting for an opportunity like this. My reward in the next world for all my Torah learning will now be with a multiple of 20 000”. He continued to explain, “To the extent that we value our Torah learning, will our core reward for our Torah learning be multiplied. Since I have (through instruction) refused to interrupt my Torah learning in order to gain 20 000 shekels that means that I value my learning more than that sum of money. Therefore, in the next world they will give me such a multiple of reward for my Torah learning.” (I know what you are thinking now: we should all move to Venezuela to learn Torah, where it will be valued in terms of Venezuelan Bolivars (305 000 to the pound!!)

What does it mean, that my ‘financial valuation’ of my Torah learning will affect a multiplication of my reward? Torah learning is Torah learning.

It has its value in that it is the word of Hashem, together with my toil.

Okay, so my valuation is relevant; but it’s not a part of the actual Torah learning itself. I can get rewarded separately for my valuation of my Torah learning. But why should that be that my basic reward for my actual Torah learning should be multiplied accordingly? Secondly, I can do the Torah learning. But why should I be the one to fix my reward? That is Hashem’s department. He is the one who gives reward and He fixes it accordingly.

For questions on Divrei Torah, please email the editor Rabbi Yonasan Roodyn at editor@oneg.org.uk

To attempt to understand these words, let’s take a brief look at an Rabbi Binyomin Rapport interesting piece of Gemorah.

The Gemorah in Maseches Shabbos 11a says that people busying themselves in Torah study need not interrupt for davening (Shemona Esrei), but rather, only to say Kerias Shema. R’ Yechonan adds that this applies only to R’ Shimon Bar Yochai and his acquaintances, whose Torah is their craft? But as far as everyone else is concerned, we must interrupt our Torah learning in order to be able to daven and recite Kerias Shema. (According to most of the poskim, this exemption from Shemona Esrei is therefore no longer applicable, as the only people who fit into this exalted level are those who do nothing other than learn and waste not even a second from their Torah learning.) (See however, the Aruch Hashulchan Orach Chaim Siman 106,11&12).

There are some obvious difficulties with this piece of Gemorah. Let’s focus on them for a moment and then we will return to try and resolve our original issue.

If it is the case that Torah study has such power of exemption, why is that exemption not available to all of us when we learn it? Rashi explains that since a person interrupts their learning for their craft then CERTAINLY, they must interrupt for davening also. Rashi (see also the Gemorah which uses similar wording as well), when referring to our Torah learning that should be interrupted, calls it ‘Toroseinu - our Torah’ as opposed to just using the word Torah-the Torah (which is here equally for everyone)?

Rashi does not simply say that if your Torah learning is not at the level of the saintly R’ Shimon Bar Yochai, then it loses all these qualities to exempt. Rather Rashi very interestingly presents it as a hierarchy of valuation. If I value my Torah learning in a way that leaves room for other pursuits besides for it, such as a craft or profession then certainly it must also leave room for such an elevated pursuit such as Tefillah. My valuation of Torah affects the very nature and quality of the Torah.

I believe this is also why Rashi speaks about ‘Toroseinu - our Torah’ in a possessive form, as opposed to ‘the Torah’-since everybody has their own personal connection to the Torah. We cannot alter the quality or value of the actual Torah but in our personal arena, everybody has the opportunity and requirement to specify their own valuation of Torah. To the extent that I value the Torah, to that same extent will my personal Torah have its interactions with other things, such as even potential to supersede the requirement to daven. To the extent that I value the Torah, to that extent I establish the greatness of MY Torah in me!

I think that with this, we can understand the puzzling words of Rav Isser Zalman Meltzer. We asked how is it that my valuation of Torah will affect my reward for the very Torah learning itself? In addition, Hashem decides the reward for mitzvos and Torah learning - if so, how can I determine how much reward to receive for my Torah learning?

A person’s valuation of Torah is what defines his personal Torah. My valuation is not just simply my opinion in regards to the Torah but rather it qualitatively affects the whole very existence of Torah within me. If so, obviously then this will be a basic and fundamental part in the reward I will receive for my Torah learning, since this is a basic component of my Torah. Similarly, it is not that through my valuation, I am telling Hashem how He should decide His reward system; rather, it is that this is just determining the reality of the value and extent of my Torah learning - in which case automatically Hashem will reward accordingly.

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M

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01 August 2020

‫י"א אב תש"פ‬

‫פרשת ואתחנן‬

3

Reaching out for others After Tisha B’Av, many of us heave a sigh of relief. We have spent the last few weeks mourning the loss of the Beis Hamikdosh, ensuring we avoid sinas chinam. Shabbos Nachamu arrives with the message of comfort. Can we now just return to the way things were? Parashas Va’eschanon, however, delivers an immensely powerful mussar message which could change our lives.

When he was told that he would not enter Eretz Yisrael, Moshe pleaded for forgiveness. We read that with tears in his eyes, Moshe tells the people, “Va’eschanon - I prayed alone”. It was not “vanischanon”, we prayed. As Rav Joseph B Soloveitchik zt’’l explains: “I was a lonely, solitary prayerful person; I prayed, no one else joined in with me. But Hashem became angry and did not listen to me lema’anchem- because of you.” Moshe did not enter Eretz Yisrael because instead of addressing the rock, he hit it. It was not the fault of Am Yisrael that Moshe made a mistake. Had the people possessed the sensitivity and love for Moshe like the love that he felt for them, they would have torn the decree into shreds. It was their fault. “Lema’anchem.”

Rav Soloveitchik says that in the list of mitzvos before Hilchos Taaniyos, Rambam says that the section contains one mitzvah, to cry out before Hashem in times of disaster. In the text, Rambam repeats the mitzvah, but replaces litzok‫ לצעק‬with lizok- ‫לזעק‬, changing the tzadi with a zayin. Why the distinction?

Rav Soloveitchik explains that litzok means to protest. The word lizok has an additional connotation of mobilizing, assembling, congregating. Z’okoh expresses the love of the individual for the community, and the dedication of

the community to the individual. An individual prays tefillah in isolation, silently, in complete privacy. Tefillah is the monologue of the individual who stands before Hashem. Z’okoh, on the other hand, means that I exist only within the community, within the many. My existence is justified because I feel love for the community. I get involved with the tzibbur and I summon the tzibbur to pray with me: not lehispallel before Hashem, but z’okoh before Him. After the Eigel Ha’zahav, Moshe prayed for the community and Hashem granted atonement to the people. This time Hashem stopped him in the middle.

When Moshe’s prayer was in the plural, all the gates of prayer were open. When Moshe changed his prayer to the singular, the gates of prayer shut and his tefillah was rejected.

The halachah tells us to include others in our tefillos. It is not enough just to avoid sinas chinam. We must positively include others in our prayers. Do not limit yourself to your own needs. Halachah has formulated prayer in the plural. There is hardly a prayer in the singular. Even private prayers, such as those for refuah or other crises, are recited in the plural.

The Gemora (Shabbos 12a-b) states that when one visits the sick, one says, according to R’ Yehudah: May Hashem

Rabbi Alan Wilkinson Rabbi, Great Ormond Street Hospital and Rav Ahavat Yisrael, Edgware

have mercy on you and other sick people of Israel. According to R’ Yosi, one should say: May Hashem have mercy on you among other sick people of Israel. Rashi comments: ‘Through inclusion of the others, his prayer is heard, for the sake of the many’. ‘Kol hamispaleil b’ad chaveiro v’hu tzorich l’oso davar, hu ne’eneh t’chilah’one who prays on behalf of his friend and is in similar straits, he is answered first.

The Midrash states that had the community joined Moshe in his prayer, Hashem would have granted the request.

He would not have rejected the prayer of the many (Sifri 3:24). Unfortunately, the community did not understand the secret of prayer-by-the-many and Moshe died in the midbar.

Let us learn from the omissions of our ancestors. M

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4

The reward of a mitzvah is a mitzvah Rabbi Jonathan Shooter

R

av Zalman Sorotzkin says that the Seven Haftoras follow a very specific order. They are all taken from the book of Yishaya. Our Haftora starts with Hashem’s instructions for the prophet to comfort the Jewish people. However, they refuse to accept comfort from the prophet; they want comfort from Hashem Himself.

This is seen in the words of next week’s Haftora, which begins, “And Tzion said, ‘Hashem has forsaken me’” (49:14). When this refusal comes in front of Hashem, He says at the beginning of the Haftora for Re’eh, “O afflicted, storm-tossed, unconsoled one” (54:11).

Finally, Hashem says that He will fulfil their request, as it says in the following week’s Haftora, “It is I; I am He Who comforts you” (51:12). The order of the last three of the Seven Haftoras is explained by the Rokeach, who cites a parable from a Medrash.

There was a queen whose husband and children and all their spouses, as well as her brothers and sisters, all abandoned her suddenly, without letting her know when and if they would return. After many years of anguish, a herald announced that her sons were returning home. This infused her with some happiness. Then he announced that her daughters were coming home and her joy increased even more. Later on, he announced that their spouses were returning, and subsequently, he announced that her brothers and sisters were returning.

Her joy was now at a great height. Then he announced that the king was on his way home. With this, her joy was complete.

The Haftora of Ki Seitzei begins, “Sing out, O barren one” (54:1). This is the first level of happiness. Ki Savo’s Haftora begins, “Arise, shine, for your light has arrived” (60:1). This is when the next group has arrived. Finally, the Haftora for Nitzavim

Kollel Midrash Shmuel

begins, “I will rejoice intensely with Hashem” (61:10), which reflects the highest level of joy and relief.

The verse says, “The grass shall wither, the flower shall fade, but the word of our G-d shall stand forever” (40:8). The Chofetz Chaim says that it’s the nature of a person to be drawn after what is popular. Whichever mitzvos are performed by the masses, and are thus fashionable, will appeal to him.

Whatever mitzvos are ignored by the masses, he will also ignore.

Similarly, when learning, topics that are studied by many will appeal to him, and those areas of Torah which are not popular, he will also neglect. The Chofetz Chaim explains that this is because we fail to realize the importance of the Torah, the true worth of mitzvos, and the greatness of Hashem Who has commanded us. If we would appreciate these things, we would know that popularity is nothing to gauge by; we would make effort to perform every mitzvah that comes our way to show that we value the Torah and appreciate its importance.

Therefore, if someone is in a place where people take learning Torah, or certain mitzvos, lightly, he should not be deterred: “The word of our G-d shall stand forever.”

Whenever the masses are running in a particular direction to a certain mitzvah, one can be sure that it’s there that the Satan is leading people. What becomes popular has the haskamas haSatan - the authorization of the Satan; he is usually able to pull the masses to things that ultimately turn them

The author publishes a weekly detailed essay on the Haftara which can be received by writing to jonathanshooter613@gmail.com. More details about his books can be found at www.jonathanshooter.com

away from learning Torah to what is a highly important mitzvah. The Satan doesn’t mind people doing any number of mitzvos; it’s when people learn Torah that he goes into a heightened state of action. In fact, certain other mitzvos become his way of pulling people away from learning Torah. When Yaakov prepared to meet Esav, he prayed that he be saved. The Beis Halevi asks, since Yaakov had already been promised that Hashem would protect him, why was he worried? His answer is that Yaakov was worried not because of what he feared would happen to him and his children and the evil that Esav would perpetrate; rather he was afraid about the honour of Heaven. Perhaps he had performed some sin and for that he would be killed; and because of this, perhaps the Divine promise to protect him would now be annulled.

This is the idea seen in the mishna (Avos 4:2), “The reward of a mitzvah is a mitzvah, and the reward of a sin is a sin.” The punishment that reaches a person because of a sin is another sin. Hashem wants to do good to Yisrael, but because they sin and do the opposite of His will, they are punished, and because of this, Hashem is forced to withhold the good He seeks to bestow upon them: a sin thus becomes a double sin.

Thus, the words of the Mishna are fulfilled, “the reward of a sin is a sin.” This is seen in the verse when Hashem tells the prophet to comfort the people: “Her iniquity has been conciliated, for she has received from the Hand of Hashem double for all her sins” (40:2). On the other hand, when a person does good, he fulfils “the reward of a mitzvah is a mitzvah.” This is because the reward that reaches a person because of his deeds is, in itself, a mitzvah, as Hashem wants to bestow good upon the Jews, and therefore that is considered an extra merit for that person. M

01 August 2020

‫י"א אב תש"פ‬

‫פרשת ואתחנן‬

It Wasn’t The Chicken Rabbi Gavriel Friedman

T

Aish HaTorah Jerusalem, (The Discovery Seminar, Jerusalem Fellowships, Executive Learning Center, and more)

here is a well-known story of a family who was busy one erev Shabbos, hustling and bustling doing their pre-Shabbos preparations. Suddenly there was a knock on the door. The members of the family were in a bit of a rush as they headed to the door to open it.

There was a forlorn woman standing alone by the door who stated simply, “I need some tzedakah. I need some money.

Maybe you can help me out.”

The young father wasn’t able to help. “Listen, I’m really sorry, but I don’t have any money with me right now. I apologize. Maybe you can come back another time.”

She was insistent, however. “I need tzedaka. You have to give me tzedaka! I need tzedaka now!”

“I’m really sorry!” He stammers, “I don’t have tzedaka for you – what do you want me to do?”

“But you have to give me something!”

Desperate the father continued, “All I have is the chicken that I prepared for Shabbos – that’s the only thing I have.”

“Okay. Give me chicken. I’ll take the chicken,” she replied.

“Are you serious?” He was surprised.

She says, “Yeah. Give me the chicken. I want the chicken.”

“Okay.” He turned around and headed towards the kitchen.

As he opened up the fridge door, he got the shock of his life.

There, curled up in the fridge, was his very young child who apparently had been playing and got stuck in the fridge! When the father opened the door of the fridge to get the chicken, he actually saved his child’s life!

Sometimes we think that when we do chesed for someone else, we are doing something for the other person. We think self-righteously, “Look at me! I’m going to help someone else!”

Little do we realize that when we go out and work to help someone else, it very well may be that we are helping ourselves.

Maybe we’re helping ourselves even more than we are helping the other person.

I’m not saying that this should be the intention, but I want to call attention to the fact that we should understand that chesed is an amazing thing to do. We must realize the magnitude of thinking about someone else and going out of our way to help somebody else.

There’s an incredible organization called Yad L’Achim. Here in Eretz Yisroel, people are very familiar with Yad L’Achim.

They recently started a project a year ago of davening on Tu B’Av. We know that it says that mishenichnas Av mema’atim b’simcha – when the month of Av begins, we minimize our simcha.

‫ט"ו באב‬ However, there is one day of Av which was a tremendously happy day. That day was Tu B’Av. And this Tu B’Av there are going to be hundreds of thousands of Yidden that are going to be going out of their way to daven for singles in Klal Yisroel so that those in need should find their shidduch and be worthy of building a bayis neeman b’Yisroel.

Baruch Hashem, there are many people in Klal Yisroel that are already married, but unfortunately there are many that are not.

Some singles are younger and many are older. What a zchus it could be even for ourselves if this Tu B’Av we would participate in the tefilla where hundreds of thousands of people will be davening together! Reb Chaim Kanievsky, b’ezer Hashem, will be davening as well and giving a bracha!

What a beautiful thing! We take the time to stop for a moment, to think of Klal Yisrael and think, “I’m okay, I’m alright, but I will do this for someone else.” Little do we know that by doing this we may in actuality be helping ourselves. M

5

6

‫ט"ו באב‬

Oneg Shabbos Issue 263

I Didn’t Cry With You

A

family was going through a terrible crisis: their child had fallen deathly ill. The father travelled all the way to Vorke to get a bracha from Reb Yitzchok Vorke.

When he arrived at the tzaddik’s home, the tzaddik searched everywhere that he was able to but was unable to find the yeshua for the young boy. He apologized to the father, “I’m sorry; I can’t help you.”

The despondent father left and went to a wagon, heading back home with some other people. All of a sudden, the people in the wagon saw that Reb Yitzchok Vorke was running after the wagon. They stopped, where upon Reb Yitzchok Vorke got into the wagon and approached the father, “I’m so sorry.”

The man said, “Rebbe, it’s okay. I understand you can’t help.”

So Reb Yitzchok Vorke said, “I can’t help. I didn’t see and I don’t see a yeshua for your child. However, I didn’t cry with you. I didn’t daven for you.”

And then he held the father and the two of them cried together.

The father headed back home wher, he discovered that there was a yeshua.

The moment that Reb Yitzchok Vorke climbed onto the wagon and said, “At least I can cry with you,” that itself brought the yeshua.

There are thousands and thousands of our sons and daughters, our brothers and sisters who are davening and waiting and longing to go under the chuppah. We don’t always have an eitzah. We should do our best, but we don’t always have an eitzah.

But we can daven together. This Tu B’Av, hundreds of thousands of Jews will be brought together in tefilla by Yad L’Achim, on the day which is an unbelievable eis ratzon.

The gemara in Taanis teaches us that Reb Yochanan says that one of the things that happened on Tu B’Av was kolu bo meisi midbar – that the Jews of the desert stopped dying.

Rabbi Moshe Weinberger Morah d’Asrah of Congregation Aish Kodesh & Mashpia in Yeshiva University

There are many, many Jews in the desert. There are many, many Jews who are lonely, who feel forsaken and abandoned. Let’s help them finally come under the chuppah at the right time with the right person, through our davening and our coming together on Tu B’Av. Through our caring and through our crying, we can bring about a tremendous yeshua! M

The good news!

Sarah Chana Radcliffe

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day - from stressed to You can shift your mood throughout your d to calm, from anxious to settled, from irritate comfortable.

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ng (do this as often as you 1 Pause to notice how you are feeli ng. like during the day); name that feeli your breath to alter 2 If you want to shift that feeling, use your mood, by paying your chemistry and consequently breathe normally - in and Just attention to it for 60 seconds. ful to notice whether you care g bein out through your nose k "inhaling" when you are are on an inhale or an exhale (thin are exhaling if you find that inhaling and "exhaling" when you you will be able to shift your , the more quickly and powerfully cise exer this helps). The more you do moods over time.

Wednesday • 5th August • ‫ • ט"ו באב‬3pm UK time

01 August 2020

‫י"א אב תש"פ‬

‫פרשת ואתחנן‬

‫ט"ו באב‬

I Sold My Father’s Gold Watch When Yad L’Achim asked me to talk about this incredible initiative that they have launched and to be part of it, I was very, very excited.

I should explain perhaps that my connection to Yad L’Achim goes back an embarrassingly long time. In fact, I think I’ve been solicited with this fabulous organization since I was about 15.

I remember when my father passed away on Purim morning when I was 18. Part of my inheritance from my father was a gold pocket watch, the type a man wears in his vest with a gold chain and a gold medallion. The truth was that I was never going to wear that. I was never going to really use that. I thought it would be a pity if this gold watch would just sit in a drawer or in a display cabinet.

It did nothing. I had a better idea. I thought it would be a wonderful idea if the links in the chain of the gold watch would link to my favorite organization, which was Yad L’Achim.

At that time, Yad L’Achim was very busy battling Christian missionaries who were flooding the Land of Israel fighting very poor Jews who had just arrived from Arab countries. This was in the 1970s. The missionaries were using money to buy them and corrupt them into leaving two thousand years of the tradition of our Torah. Yad L’Achim fought against these people.

And I thought, “Wouldn’t it be a wonderful thing if I could sell this gold watch with a solid gold chain and a solid gold medallion and use that money to link Jews together who were being lost otherwise and disconnected by the wicked work of these missionaries?”

As I said above, in the 70’s Yad L’Achim were reconnecting and unifying Jews. Since then, they have moved into a whole new area of saving Jews. They are going to Arab villages where Jewish women have been kidnapped, seduced, disconnected from the Jewish people, and forced to marry Arabs.

Yad L’Achim find these women somehow or another, I don’t even know how – these people are miracle workers. They are able to evacuate the women, free them and allow them to reconnect and unify again to the Jewish people.

Here we are coming to another new Yad L’Achim initiative: a truly exciting one. There are so many young men and young women who, for some peculiar reason, are having a difficult time finding their designated partner. This is in spite of the fact that Chazal tell us that forty days before they were even formed and created in their mother’s womb, a heavenly voice said that this girl will marry this boy. In our times, many young people are finding it incredibly difficult to actualise that.

So on Tu B’Av, we are all invited to join this initiative of Yad L’Achim’s and to say Tehillim to get all these singles who are not connected and united, connected and united again. I suppose that should be the motto of Yad L’Achim – unifying the disunified or connecting or reconnecting those who have been disconnected.

I saw in Rav Shlomo Wolbe’s sefer of Alei Shur a most exciting idea. We all know that our language, Lashon Hakodosh, is unique.

There are many sources for this. In Alei Shur, Rav Shlomo Wolbe said something on this topic which really got me very excited.

Rav Wolbe explains that one way in which you can see the uniqueness of our language is in one word – the world for life. When we drink a glass of wine or a glass of whiskey, we say “L’chaim – to life.” The word l’chaim is in the plural. Why isn’t it l’chai – to life? In any other language, the word for life is in the singular – life. Why is it that in our language, which is the Torah’s language and G-d’s language, that life is defined and designated in the plural?

The answer is that from Hashem’s point of view, from the Torah’s point of view and from a Jewish point of view, if a life is not shared, if it’s not joined to another life, then it is not life. That is not the Jewish life. And that joining can be a father and a mother to a child, a child to parents or grandparents, husband and wife, chosson and kallah, kehilla, and the whole of Klal Yisroel.

The 15th of Av is just six days after Tisha B’Av, when we were all disconnected and fractured. On Tisha B’Av, we forgot that a Jewish life is only a true life, only a life worth living, if we’re connected to others, whether it’s our own children, our own families or

7

Rabbi Yehudah Yonah Rubinstein

beyond our own families into kehillas and into the whole of Klal Yisroel.

It can be very easy to turn Tisha B’Av, the most solemn day in the Jewish calendar into the most jolly day of the Jewish calendar, which is Purim. On Purim we dress up and we wear costumes; on Tisha B’Av too, we change our clothing and take off our leather shoes. We wear sneakers and sit on the floor.

It is very dramatic and theoretical; in a sense, it can be turned into a day like Purim.

On Tisha B’Av, we all sit on the floor and say to Hashem, “It is terrible, Tisha B’Av when we were all fractured and disconnected and Jews didn’t value each other.”

Now is a chance, through Yad L’Achim’s fantastic initiative, to show that we really mean what we say when we sit on our floor and mourn the loss of Yerushalayim and our Beis Hamikdash, when we realize that we were fractured and disconnected. We can do this by praying that Hashem should connect those who are in need of a yeshua. What better way is there than connecting those two individuals and those thousands of two individuals, about whom a heavenly voice called out forty days before they were even formed and said, “This girl should marry this boy”? What better way is there than joining Yad L’Achim on this tefilla campaign and joining all those links?

It’s a bit like that gold chain that joined my father’s watch to the medallion that I gave so many years ago, when I was 18 years old, to support the work of Yad L’Achim. I think it’s a wonderful way to connect. It’s a wonderful way to show Hashem that we’re serious.

“You know, we take Tisha B’Av seriously; it wasn’t a Purim. We are showing this to You, Hashem, by working on uniting Klal Yisrael less than a week after Tisha B’Av.” What could be better than that?

What could be better than doing as I’m going to do, bli neder, and I’m sure you’re going to do as well? Join Yad L’Achim’s initiative and reconnect to Hashem, reconnect to Klal Yisroel and let all the members of Klal Yisroel, especially the young singles who seem to be so much struggling in this particular time, to connect to each other and build Klal Yisroel and build Jewish families. M

How it works On Tu B'Av, Wednesday 5th August, there will be a minyan of talmidei chachamim, messengers of Yad L'Achim, in Amuka. They will lead thousands of Jews from across the globe who will daven in unison, wherever they are, for all the singles of Klal Yisrael.

The talmidei chachamim will daven for all names submitted in Amuka.

8

‫ט"ו באב‬

Oneg Shabbos Issue 263

The Story That I Never Forgot There’s a story that I heard a long time ago, which I have never forgotten. There was a man who was a prominent community leader and a wealthy businessman. This gentleman had three sons. When his youngest son was getting married, he decided that his son’s wedding would be the cornerstone of his life. He planned the wedding to be an affair that would blow everybody away. He invited the whole community: his clients, colleagues and friends. He planned on using this opportunity to bask in his wealth and honour.

He called his oldest two sons. His oldest son was a respected member of the community: a well-dressed, polished businessman with a family of wealth and prominence. He told his son, “The wedding is coming up.

When you come, buy whatever you need to look your best because this wedding will be a manifestation of my honour. Whatever you buy for my honour is on the house. Dress yourself and dress your family for my honour and I will pay for it. I want you to come looking amazing. You are my representative.”

Happy with the offer, the son responded positively and assured his father that he would go all out.

His second son was not like the first. He was a boy who struggled all his life; he had never really found his place nor did he have monetary or social success. He and his family had a hard time keeping themselves together and very often looked unkempt. The father called up his second son with the same offer as the older son. “Anything that you buy in my honour, I’ll pay you back.”

On the day of the wedding the father waited anxiously at the hall for the arrival of his two older sons, his sources of pride. The first son arrived; he and his family looked picture perfect. The suits were tailored. The material for the dresses came from places that nobody had even heard of. Everyone was perfectly groomed, matching perfectly. All heads turned when they arrived.

A while later, the middle son and family schlepped in. They didn’t look the same way. Their clothing was old. Their suits didn’t match. Nobody’s hair was done. They weren’t really even clean. In contrast, everybody’s heads turned for the opposite reason.

The wedding was a wonderful event. The following day, the oldest son called up his father, “So Dad, where do I send the bills?”

The father asked, “What do you mean?”

His son explained. “You told me that whatever I buy in your honour, you will pay for. Well, we racked up quite a bill. Should I send it to the secretary or the finance department? Who should I send the bill to? I really could use the reimbursement check.”

The father stated to his eldest son firmly, “I am not paying for it.”

“What do you mean? You told me…”

The father clarified, “I told you Mr. Charlie Harary that I’m going to pay Unlocking Greatness for that which you www.charlieharary.com buy for my honour.”

“I know.”

“You didn’t buy your clothes for my honour. You bought it for your own honour!”

“No, I didn’t!”

“Really?! Don’t you know your brother?! Had you not known him your whole life?! Didn’t you expect him to show up looking that way? Didn’t you know that he would come the way he did? If you really were worried about my honour, you would have taken your brother and his family shopping.

You knew I was paying for everything. If you would have thought about my honour, you would have looked around and thought how your dad would feel if his middle child came to the wedding looking the way he looked. You would have thought of your dad’s moment. You would have spent money not only on your own family’s clothing; you would have also spent money on your brother’s family’s clothing. That would have been my honour but you didn’t do it for my honour, you did it for your own honour and I’m not paying for your honour.”

I heard this story years ago and it clarified something in my mind that I had never previously understood.

Chazal teach us that when you daven for somebody else, your tefillos are answered first. Why would that be? A person might think that if they have a personal relationship with Hashem and they know the extent of their own suffering, it would be appropriate that they should daven only for themselves. After all, maybe only a person themselves can really represent the depths of the feelings that they have. Of course a person should also daven for other people, but why is there this segulah that if you daven for somebody else, then you get answered first? What does that mean? Why would that work?

After hearing this story, I understood the answer. At the end of the day, we’re in this world for the honour of the King. We’re here for Him. From the second we left Egypt all the way to this moment, our number one focus and mission is honour to the King! That’s why we are who we are!

Maybe the reason that we have challenges is because in life, it’s hard to understand people. It’s hard to understand what people are struggling with. Maybe Hashem is giving us challenges because it allows us to be sensitive to other people. It allows us to see the world and understand people’s needs in a much more tangible way.

But at the end of the day, do we care about our honour or His honour?

If we care about our own honour, then every time we feel pain, we just want to get our pain absolved. We just want to feel better. But if we care about His honour, then we don’t want any of His children to have pain.

Why would Hashem want any of His children to suffer? Why would Hashem have honour if some of His children are not doing as well as others, if some of His children are still struggling with something?

Any single pain or deficiency to a Jew in this world takes away from the honour of the King. And so, when Hashem sends pain or a challenge, if we truly care about His honour, then we would turn around and beg Hashem to help them. “Of course, I also want my problem to be solved, but when all Your children’s pain is relieved, then Your Honour will be manifested. I want You to win. You’re our Father and You win when Your children win.”

Maybe the secret of why praying for other people causes our prayers to be answered is because we realize that the reason I have a challenge may be so that I’m sensitive enough to pray for somebody else. And when I worry about my brother or my sister, then Hashem says, “You really care about Me. If you care about Me, then maybe your problem doesn’t need to be there anymore.”

My bracha is that all of us, no matter what challenges we face, use the challenge to be able to see the needs the others and that we are sensitive enough to realize that the greatest thing I can do in this world is give honour to the King. When I hope and I pray to better the lives of everybody else, I am showing Him that it’s His honour that I care about first. With that, Hashem can look down and tell us, “If you pray for them, I will make sure that you get answered first.”

M

Tehillim to be recited by participants at exactly 10:00am EST: 32, 28, 70, 82, 121, 124, 127, 128 - ‫ קכ"ח‬,‫ קכ"ז‬,‫ קכ"ד‬,‫ קכ"א‬,‫ פ"ב‬,'‫ ע‬,‫ ל"ח‬,‫ל"ב‬

01 August 2020

‫י"א אב תש"פ‬

‫פרשת ואתחנן‬

‫ט"ו באב‬

9

Rabbi David Ashear Daily Emunah

I

The Single Girl and The Childless Couple

know a man who was married for five years and still wasn’t blessed with a child. He was told that if he would buy the Kol Nidrei on Yom Kippur and pray to have a child, then that would be an opportune time. He found a shul where he could afford to buy Kol Nidrei. He bought it and prayed to have a child, but that year he still was not blessed. He went back to that shul the following year and did it again and still he wasn’t blessed with a child. He went back a third year.

This time, someone else there was outbidding him; when the price got too high, he went over to that other man and said, “Please, I’m buying this because I don’t have a child and I need to pray for myself.”

The other man said, “I’m buying it for my daughter who is also childless and I need to pray for her. But I’ll make you a deal. I will give it to you and I’ll even pay half, on one condition. When you’re up there holding the Torah, you pray for my daughter to have a child this year. And it will be a win-win situation because the gemara says if you pray for someone else to have what you need, you’ll be answered first.”

The man accepted and he said when he got up there to pray, it was so hard for him not to mention himself, but he prayed for the other woman and said, “I felt the pain they were going through

when I sincerely asked Hashem to bless them.”

That year, they were both blessed with a child, baruch Hashem!

Prayer is wondrous! And when you pray for someone else, it’s even greater.

The gemara that says when you pray for someone else with the same need and you’re answered first, is not magic.

The meforshim explain that the merit of the self-sacrifice involved to want someone else to have what you need is very difficult. And to want it so badly that you’re going to pray for them is even more difficult. That merit is what brings the yeshua. Only Hashem knows what is in a person’s heart. Hashem knows if a person is praying just to get the yeshua for himself, or if the person sincerely wants the other person to have it. If the person praying sincerely wants the other person to have it, then it’s a guarantee.

Prayer is amazing! The Chofetz Chaim said that at the end of a person’s life after 120, he might be told, “You are credited for making twenty shidduchim. You are credited for getting fifteen people jobs.

You are credited for healing ten people.”

The person might say, “I don’t remember doing any of that.”

And Hashem will say, “It was your prayers that caused that girl to get married. It was your prayers that brought a refuah sheleima.”

Most of the times we don’t get to see the fruits of our labour. Sometimes, we

don’t even know who we are praying for, but Hashem is keeping track.

A woman told me that in 2016 a new initiative was launched where childless couples were matched up with singles; they would each pray for each other. She said she prayed for her childless couple the entire year, they were praying for her and she was delighted to find out in the summer of 2017 that her couple was expecting. But as the year went on, she said, “I kept praying for them to have a healthy baby and an easy delivery. When January came and I still didn’t hear what happened, I began to get scared and I doubled my efforts in tefilla. On February 5, I became a kallah! My yeshua finally came! That night after I celebrated, the first thing I did is go to my computer to inform the organizers of this prayer campaign that I am engaged and they should tell the couple who have been praying for me. The next morning, I got an email to my inbox. ‘Mazel Tov! We were just informed by them that they had a baby the very same day.’”

She said, “It was great to be answered, but to see Hashem’s involvement and to see Hashem appreciating our tefillot for each other was amazing!”

This Tu B’Av, let us storm the heavens together! Let us unite and pray for each other and pray for yeshuot for all the shidduchim! We should witness tens of thousands of marriages this year! Let us all be part of this wonderful event. M

10

‫ט"ו באב‬

Oneg Shabbos Issue 263

A Segula The gemara teaches us that Yeshiva Karlin in Brooklyn, NY the geulah shleima will not come until all the children that are supposed to be born will be born. How many children is that? We don’t know. But we know that every home that is being built brings the geulah closer and closer.

The seforim hakedoshim tell us that before Moshiach will come, there will be great difficulties in building Jewish homes, because the power that is holding back Moshiach is holding back Jewish homes from being built. Therefore, it is our great responsibility to do whatever we can to bring about the building and establishment of new Jewish homes and therefore many more Jewish children will be born.

We see a phenomenal thing in our generation. A lot of people that were totally unable to give birth are able to do so today. The medical science today opened gates that were closed for years. We see situations nowadays where it seemed hopeless for certain people to have children; yet they are now having children.

We have holy organizations such as Chana, Bonei Olam and A T.I.M.E. and various others that do unbelievable work to help bring about the birth of Jewish children. There is a very famous fertility doctor, Dr. Moshiach, who himself does not have children. He lives in the Holy Land of Israel and he told me, “I believe that the only reason why we have been able to reach the point where so many more people are able to have children is because of the prayers of Jewish people.” That is what he shared with me.

People have a koach hatefillah. The Almighty gave us a koach that davening can open up the most tightly closed gates. There’s no gate in the world that cannot be opened with Jewish tears.

That’s why we say in our prayers on Yom Kippur “V’shaarei demaos lo nishlalos, – the gates of tears are never closed.” Never!

Now, the Rayatz once said, “Tova peulah achas m’elef anachos – one good deed is better than a thousand krechtzen.” When someone groans, what do you gain from that? One deed is better than a thousand krechtzen.

It is our responsibility to do whatever we can so that every Jewish boy and girl should be able to get married. And there are a lot of ways to do it. One way is by getting involved in shidduchim. Get involved in shidduchim! And if you feel that you cannot help with a shidduch, then there’s one thing you can do – take a sefer Tehillim!

The Lubavitcher Rebbe once said that in the hakdamos to Tehillim, we see that Dovid Hamelech put in Tehillim the power as if he himself is saying it. K’ilu amaram Dovid Hamelech alav hashalom. So if you see that you try to make shidduchim, but you don’t succeed, then take a Tehillim and daven.

Now Yidden are getting together very soon for a world conference to open all the gates of heaven so that all people who are not married yet should be able to get married. The gemara says that the 15th day of the month of Av is a day that a lot of shidduchim were made. This year, the 15th of Av was designated as a day where Jews worldwide would get together Rabbi Shmuel Dishon

to be mispallel for the shidduchim of all those who are not engaged yet – maybe by Tu B’Av they will already be engaged.

And we are sure – we have a rule that says – hen Keil kabir – a great G-d will certainly listen to tefillas rabim, to the prayer of a tzibbur.

We have just completed the nine days, a time when the Ribono Shel Olam is b’tzaar. Do you know why we sat on the floor on Tisha B’Av? Because Hashem is there also and we want to feel His pain along with Him. The Aibeshter mourns, unfortunately. He is pained that Yidden are in galus. So when we sit on the floor on Tisha B’Av, we feel Hashem’s tzaar along with Him. Feeling His tzaar is not enough. We have to do something.

We have to be mekarev Yidden. We have to do whatever we can to help people get married. In the zchus that we all get together on the 15th of Av, we say, “We will do our share. Surely the gates of heaven will open and every single person who needs a shidduch will be helped. May that bring us a geulah shleimah.” M

01 August 2020

‫י"א אב תש"פ‬

‫פרשת ואתחנן‬

‫ט"ו באב‬

11

Rabbi Paysach Krohn

Together

W

e just passed Tisha B’Av, which is what most Jews consider the saddest day of the year. But I want to tell you something surprising. I’ve spoken to many people and they tell me that the saddest day of the year for them is a different day. What day is that? Simchas Torah.

Now you might be surprised.

Simchas Torah?! Isn’t that a happy day?

But for those guys that are single and for those girls that are single, when they come to shul and they see all those young men and young women with their children participating in different ways on Simchas Torah in shul, it is so painful.

I believe that the Torah begins with the letter Beis to show us that only Hashem Himself can exist alone. That’s Aleph. It’s very difficult to be alone, whether it’s a man, a woman; whether it is someone who has never married or somebody who has been divorced or widowed. It makes no difference. It is not easy to live alone.

And that’s what we’re davening for today. Whether you need shidduchim in your family or even if baruch Hashem, you don’t and everybody is married in your family, then you have to daven for others. And that’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to do this all together, all around the world, on Tu B’Av.

As I prepare this piece in my home, I sit right in front of a picture: an artist rendition of Rav Shalom Shwadron zt’l, the maggid of Yerushalayim, whom I was very close to. On many occasions when he came to America, he spoke for Yad L’Achim; because Yad L’Achim is a great organization that cares and has been caring for other unfortunate Yidden.

When Rav Shalom first came and spoke about Yad L’Achim, there were many, many Russian Jews who had come to Eretz Yisroel. They had no yeshivas and no shuls. They didn’t know much about Yiddishkeit. Rav Shalom was raising money to help them. Over the years, Yad L’Achim began getting involved in helping so many people that needed help. One of the unbelievable things that they do is help Jewish girls and woman – perhaps they were immigrants, perhaps they were in other situations - who somehow got caught up with Arab men. These Jewish women didn’t realize the men were Arabs and ended up in their villages. The unfortunate women had children, got stuck there and had to be saved.

Today there are many, many of these women that are yere’im and shleimim, wonderful frum people because Yad L’Achim saved them. Many of their children are in yeshivas. So Yad L’Achim cares. And that’s why Nesanel Gans and

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others of Yad L’Achim have made this program: so that we should all daven together, again caring for people that need our help.

There will be a group of ten ehrliche tzaddikim davening at Amukah by the kever of Rabi Yonasan ben Uziel; because the gemara tells us that Tu B’Av is a day destined for shidduchim to be made.

So, let’s take advantage. Let us think carefully about the emptiness, the loneliness and sometimes the terrible sadness of those people that live alone.

Let us daven for them, that they should get their shidduchim and that everybody will be able to have a bayis ne’eman b’Yisrael.

May our tefilos be sincere and answered letova. M

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12

‫ט"ו באב‬

Oneg Shabbos Issue 263

Tu B’Av Together One of the difficult mitzvos that we are charged with is the mitzvah of v’ahavta l’reacha kamocha. It sounds wonderful – love your neighbour like yourself. But the question is, how could the Torah expect me to actually deeply care, bond, connect and love another human being as myself?

The Ramban in Chumash points out that really that is not the pshat in the mitzvah. The Torah cannot expect that of us, because Hashem gave the mitzvos to us, human beings, and not to angels.

The Ramban explains that the actual manifestation of this mitzvah is to be deeply concerned about another Jew’s plight, to be with him in his joy and conversely to be with him in his pain.

The way a person fulfills this mitzvah is by feeling another Jew’s plight. By joining with him, that’s how one fulfills v’ahavta l’reacha kamacho and that is one of the great principles of our Torah.

The reason I am saying this is because Yad L’Achim has a day coming up that I think is a wonderful opportunity for the Jewish people.

Yad L’Achim is an organization that is deeply concerned for our brothers and sisters. Much of their work involves saving unfortunate Jewish women who were captured in Arab villages. They go into the Arab villages at great personal risk and physically rescue the Jewish women and rehabilitate them. They also do a lot of supportive work. They have twenty-five full-time social workers, just helping prevent these issues from occurring. They are doing tremendous work.

In addition to their general work, they have also organized the day that they call “Tu B’Av Together.” The focus of that day is for one purpose – for the Jewish nation to come together and daven for what we know as “the shidduch crisis.” Unfortunately, there are many

Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier Founder, Shmuz.com

singles who are struggling to find their bashert, their life-partner, and it is a very troubling situation. When you deal with an older single, you know that the feeling of being a fifth wheel is very difficult. It is extremely challenging for someone to feel like they cannot get on with their life. Unfortunately, we all know many older singles and it is a real nisayon for them.

Yad L’Achim organized a day where we come together as a people and daven; we ask Hashem to help singles find their mate. Please join us. It’s a wonderful opportunity. In addition, there will be ten talmidei chachamim at Amukah who will be davening for shidduchim. I think it’s a wonderful opportunity to join together, as the holy nation that we are. M

TUBAVTOGETHER.COM

01 August 2020

‫י"א אב תש"פ‬

‫פרשת ואתחנן‬

‫ט"ו באב‬

13

Rabbi Shais Taub Soulwords.org & Chabad of the Five Towns in Cedarhurst, NY

Diamond In The Rough Wherever you are in the world, we’re standing under the same moon. That’s the actual levana that Hashem made on the fourth day of creation. Apropos to the event that’s coming up, we know that Tu B’Av - the fifteenth day of Av - is the day of the full moon, which represents the fullness of the Jewish people coming after the low point of Tisha B’Av. There’s an incredible event that’s coming from an incredible organization: Yad L’Achim, known for their incredible work of ahavas Yisroel and mesiras nefesh, helping those who are in serious spiritual crises, pulling them out of those situations and giving them a fresh start.

This Tu B’Av, Yad L’Achim is drawing all Klal Yisroel together to be mispallel in unison for those who are seeking shidduchim. Tu B’Av is a day connected with segulos and yeshuos, specifically in connection with shidduchim (as the gemara in Taanis teaches us).

The gemara in Nedarim 66a talks about a man who made a neder that he would not marry a particular woman.

The chachamim brought this woman to Rabi Yishmael. Rabi Yishmael gave her a makeover. He beautified her with a new wardrobe and jewels. Then he took the man who had sworn that he would not marry this woman and asked him, “Young man, did you swear that you are not going to marry this woman?”

“No,” answered the young man. “I would never swear that I’m not going to marry that woman.”

Rabi Yishmael then declared, “Therefore, your previous vow is annulled.” In other words, the entire vow was made under a misconception.

When he made that vow that he would not marry her, he did not know who she really was. She was a diamond in the rough, so to speak, and Rabi Yishmael

revealed that to him. He reversed the vow.

The gemara tells us that at that very moment, Rabi Yishmael wept and he said, “Ribono Shel Olam, kol bnos Yisroel yafos ela aniyus m’lavlason. All Jewish women are beautiful, but it is poverty that tarnishes their beauty.”

Bnos Yisroel symbolizes our neshamas and the poverty is a symbol of galus.

The deeper meaning of Rabi Yishmael’s statement is that all Jewish people, all neshamas are beautiful but it is poverty, the darkness of this galus that tarnishes our beauty.

The gemara in Taanis describes that there were three types of women and they had different appeals that they said to potential matches.

There were the beautiful ones that used to say, “Look upon my beauty and choose me for beauty.” Then there were those who were from illustrious lineage, from pedigree who said, “Look upon my yichus. Choose me for my family.” Lastly there were those who didn’t have either of these qualities. The gemara describes them as mechu’aros, kivyachol, that they were not beautiful and they said, “Bachur, choose me l’shem Shamayim, but as long as you adorn me with jewels.”

A Chassidishe explanation is that this a parable for three different types of Yidden, three types of neshamas.

There are the beautiful ones. These are the neshamas of tzaddikim who are spiritually beautiful and they are able to arouse a great ahava v’yirah and they say, “Hashem choose us because of our spiritual beauty.”

Then there are those who do not have this virtue, but they have yichus.

What is the illustrious lineage? They are able to draw upon the connection to

Avraham, Yitzchak, Yaakov, Sara, Rivka, Rochel and Leah, which means there is an ahava misuteras - a hidden love; this is the nature of every Jew, that they were given as a yerusha from the avos and the imahos. They may not be tzaddikim like the first group, those who have spiritual beauty, but they are, spiritually speaking, meyuchsos. They are able to draw upon the connection of the avos and imahos and they are able to bring out that love.

The bottom line is like they say, “Choose us, because a woman is for children.” What are children? Ikar toldosehem shel tzaddikim ma’asim tovim.

The bottom line is ma’asim tovim; we get the job done – we do mitzvos.

Then there’s the third category. They don’t have the spiritual beauty of the ahava and yirah of the tzaddikim. They don’t have the ikar of ma’asim tovim.

They are kivyachal, michu’aros, as if it could be. So what would they say? They say, “Choose us l’shem Shamayim.”

These are the neshamas, the deepdown beautiful neshamas who are in difficult situations that the doubled and redoubled darkness of galus has cast them into terrible situations that no Jewish neshama should be in.

They look at the Aibeshter and say, “Look deeply! See inside the diamond in the rough and choose us l’shem Shamayim. L’manchah aseih – for Your sake, Hashem. Not for our sake, but for Your sake take us out of this galus as long as You adorn us with jewels. Take our neshamas, beautify us, return us and restore us to our untarnished beauty.”

May Hashem answer all the tefillos of Klal Yisroel in regard to shidduchim and everything that we need. May He take us out of this galus, beautify us again and beautify the entire world. M

14

‫ט"ו באב‬

Oneg Shabbos Issue 263

Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak Jacobson Yeshiva.net

H

ere’s a fascinating observation. Which marriage is first explored in great detail in the Torah? It is not Adam and Chava, it is not Noach and his wife; it is not Avraham and Sara. It is Yitzchak and Rivka. The Torah devotes sixty-seven pesukim to the story of how the shidduch of Yitzchak and Rivka came about and their subsequent marriage, a bond that would build Klal Yisroel. In the Torah, it is unheard of, to dedicate such a large number of pesukim to such a topic.

If I would tell you that there are sixty seven verses to discuss this marriage, what would you expect to be discussed in those verses? You would think that maybe they discuss the shidduch, the chasanah, the chuppah, the feast or the meal. When you look in the Torah, you see that sixty six pesukim are about the preparations for the shidduch. The actual marriage and relationship is discussed in one passuk at the end as it states, “Vayevi’eha Yitzchak ho’ohela Sara imo vayikach es Rivka vatehi lo le’isha, vaye’ehaveha vayinachem Yitzchak acherei imo. Yitzchak brought her to the tent of Sara, his mother; he married Rivka, she became his wife, he loved her and he was comforted for his mother.” That’s the last passuk that discusses Yitzchak and Rivka’s marriage. That is passuk 67.

What are the sixty six pesukim before that discussing?

Ah – that’s all about the preparations.

Avraham had to summon Eliezer his

servant and to explain to him where to go and how to go and what to do and what not to do. Then his servant took ten camels; he went with all of the belongings and he finally arrived.

Then, he had to start searching for the right girl. He stood at the well, he made a condition and a prayer and then he found her. Next, he came to her house.

Finally he started negotiations with Besuel and Lavan, back and forth. The story is related in detail – first they agreed, then they procrastinated, then they hesitated and then decided that they have to ask Rivka. After sixty six verses, Eliezer finally brings Rivka to Yitzchak, the shidduch is sealed and the marriage happens.

I want to ask a question. How do we understand this? Why is there one verse for the wedding, marriage and whole relationship and sixty six verses for the wheeling and dealing for the negotiations?

The Torah is conveying to us a big lesson. We learn from here that although sometimes we are looking for the bottom line – we just want the marriage to happen – the Torah is telling us that sometimes the preparations constitute and have a tremendous value.

Don’t get discouraged! Don’t lose your motivation! Don’t lose your oomph because there is so much traveling, praying and effort that’s needed in the preparation! Sometimes the greatness of the story is the preparation, the effort, the energy, the resources, the time,

the love and the dedication that you put in to bring a young Jewish woman and a young Jewish man together to build Klal Yisroel.

Don’t dismiss that! Don’t reject it!

Don’t get frustrated by it! Don’t think, “Oh, I just want the tachlis.” Of course, there’s a tachlis. Of course, there’s an objective, but every iota of strength and energy that you put into the preparation has infinite dignity and infinite value.

This is why I congratulate this great organization of Yad L’Achim, on their Tu B’Av innovation. They do so much to fight assimilation, to save so many of our young women in various different ways. They are dedicating the great day of the 15th of Av to unite us all to daven for the shidduchim of Klal Yisroel, that our single men and women of all ages should be able to unite and build beautiful families, communities and relationships that will light up and brighten the Jewish people and the entire world. May it be with tremendous hatzlacha. Chazak, chazak v’nischazek. M

01 August 2020

‫י"א אב תש"פ‬

‫פרשת ואתחנן‬

Friend or Friendly Hashkafa Series Part 1 of 7

One of the things I and others with my Rabbi Dovid Kaplan background have had Ohr Somayach to get used to is being referred to as “out-oftowners”. Of course, coming from a small village like Chicago, as I do, or a rural hamlet like Los Angeles, as others do, makes it perfectly understandable; but it still leaves us questioning our significance, with a degree of tainted self-esteem. Most of us have come through it ok – but just barely.

In our defence, it really and truly wasn’t our fault. We had no say whatsoever in where we would be born and raised. Honest. So please, at least keep that in mind next time you use that term and look at us with that pitying expression on your faces. (Phew, I finally got that off my chest. Been bothering me for years.) The reason I mention this, other than the therapeutic effect of letting it out, is that one of our peculiarities in Chicago – correctly pronounced “Chicawgo” - is the use of the word “yeshiva.”

Whereas in “New Yawk” it refers to grade school, where I come from it means high school and bais medrash level. So, when it appears in any of my columns – written as I drink “pop” – please keep in mind that I refer to talmidim aged fourteen and above. What follows may apply to younger talmidim as well, but for the most part it’s bochurim I have in mind.

At some point early on when I began teaching at Ohr Somayach, I asked a big Rav who had vast experience in chinuch and outreach about active participation in sports. I was in my late twenties, and I figured playing basketball or baseball with the newly initiated and potentially future ba’alei teshuva would be an excellent way to shatter stereotypes and make a good connection. I was certainly biased here, as playing ball made up a good part of the time I’d spent growing up.

The Rav told me that it must be limited to non-contact sports, such as baseball or ping pong. Anything involving bumping against each other, such as basketball or football, would be too personal, and therefore any possible benefit would be lost. A few years later, sensing that perhaps a person teaching Torah should not be seen sweating on the ballfield, I asked another Rav and he said “it’s good for them to know you can play, but they shouldn’t see you play.”

I’ve thought about these two pieces of advice many times over the years.

It’s very natural for people entering the chinuch field to want to make a connection with talmidim. While there may be differences between one who is involved with ba’alei teshiuva and one who is involved with mainstreamers, I have noticed an interesting phenomenon: and that is that a closer connection does not necessarily produce the most powerful hashpa’a effects. Now, for someone who isn’t capable of more, like a young outreach person who hasn’t spent a lot of time learning and therefore has a limited reserve of Torah content he could give over, the personal connection is where he will put his emphasis. He may go on trips, eat out at restaurants, go paintballing or engage in other activities in his effort to show the secular Jew that religious Jews are “normal”. Along the way,

15

he will also impart Torah values and offer explanations for certain things we do. That’s great. However, the Rebbe who teaches Torah and represents Torah leaves a much deeper impression and has a hashpa’a even in cases where there is very little in the way of personal contact. I don’t want to mention specific names, but some of the most influential people in the kiruv world – Rabbanim who have almost zero in common with those they have taught - have been world-class talmidei chachamim. It was the sense of the depth of their persona which affected the many who gravitated to them, along with the depth of content of their shiurim - shiurim which left the listeners with the unmistakable taste of ultimate truth. On a personal level, the Rebbeim who affected me most made no effort to be friends with me. Far from it. They were friendly, but at no point even remotely pretended to be friends.

The gemara (Sanhedrin 52b) says that at the outset, a talmid chochom is seen by an am ha’aretz as a golden vessel. If they converse, he is seen as a silver vessel. If the talmid chochom benefits from him, the am ha’aretz sees him as a pottery vessel. The gemara is describing the inevitable result of the talmid chochom not maintaining a certain arm’s length from the am ha’aretz. The same applies in the Rebbe talmid relationship. The talmid should feel the Rebbe is someone to look up to and admire. This will then cause the talmid to want to emulate his Rebbe, whether in the area of Torah scholarship, midos development, seriousness in tefilla, and other areas. When there is an inappropriate closeness, where the talmid views the Rebbe as his friend, somehow the earlier vision of that Rebbe as a role model dissipates.

Some years back, Harav Avraham Chaim Feuer told the following story in the Ohr Somayach bais medrash. It was erev Pesach during the first year of Harav Feuer’s marriage to his Rebbetzin, the daughter of his Rebbe Harav Mordechai Gifter zt”l. Knowing that the halacha is that a talmid does not do hesaiba in the presence of his Rebbe, Rav Feuer asked his great father-in-law what he should do at the Pesach seder. “I love you like a son” Rav Gifter replied, “but the main benefit for you in our relationship is that I am your Rebbe. Therefore, you should not do hesaiba at the seder.” This story is huge. What a talmid can gain from a Rebbe – one whom he sees as a Rebbe – outweighs what he can gain from a father-in-law or just about anyone else.

One chol ha’moed, I went to see one of my Rebbeim and found a crowd of assorted talmidim from several yeshivos there. I recognized one of the bochurim there as the son of another one of my Rebbeim, one of today’s Torah leaders. Somehow, I found out that he came to this Rebbe on a regular basis to get advice on various issues. I remember wondering why he would come to him, considering who his father was. It was only a while later that it dawned on me that when one is raised by his father and lives in close proximity to him, there is a strong chance the aura he carries for others will not be there for his son. While he certainly had a major hashpa’a on his son, it is only natural that the father is seen as human. So, the son then goes to a different Rav where that sense of awe and the aura of greatness is felt, precisely because of the sense of distance between them.

Harav Michel Yehuda Lefkowitz zt”l was universally recognized as one of the gedolai hador. He once wrote a letter to an avraich and signed it with the word “beyedidus” before his name. The avraich was horrified. How can someone who he is in absolute awe of write that they’re friends? He came to Rav Michel Yehuda and expressed his embarrassment at being addressed that way. “Your right,” Rav Lifkowitz said, “you should see me as your Rebbe, not as your friend.

But for my part, I’m allowed to see you as a yedid.”

To summarize: A Rebbe can be and in most cases should be, friendly, warm and accessible. What he shouldn’t do is cross the line where the talmid sees him as a friend, buddy, or chum.

(Rabbi Kaplan’s book “My Wife – My Queen” has been released and should be available in your local bookstores.) M

16

MUKTZA HALACHA SERIES - PART 1 OF 4

Oneg Shabbos Issue 263

Rabbi Avi Weisenfeld Rosh Yeshivas Beis Dovid; Author “Kashrus in the Kitchen” & “The Pocket Halacha Series”

proceed to offer many different examples as to how these halachos pertain to the preparation of food and eating.

THE CATEGORIES OF MUKTZA AND THEIR HALACHOS There are four main different categories of muktza that we will be dealing with, each one with their own specific halachos.

1. Muktza Machmas Chisoron Kis 2. Kli Sh’milachto L’Issur 3. Kli Sh’milachto L’Hetter 4. Muktza Machmas Gufo 1. Muktza Machmas Chisoron Kis – If the owner of a particular item is makpid not to use it for anything other than its own purpose, this item is classified as muktza machmas chisaron kis. This type of muktza may not be moved at all5 (except in a certain manner – see below) Examples include: electric scale, coffee machine, digital camera, passport, personalized stationery.

Q. Do large items that one doesn’t move also become muktza (machmas chisoron kis)?

Although not one of the 39 melochos prohibited by the Torah on Shabbos, the prohibitions of Muktza are prohibited miderabonnon and are one of the most common prohibitions on Shabbos. In fact, almost every item one touches throughout Shabbos could involve a question of muktza.

A. Any item that one doesn’t move – not because of its weight – but because one is careful not to move it lest it break becomes a muktza machmas chisoron kis and may not be moved on Shabbos for any reason.6 Therefore, a fridge, freezer, oven, etc that one doesn’t move for fear of breaking it may not be moved on Shabbos if something fell underneath it.

REASON FOR THE PROHIBITION

A. No. Even items that are not expensive may fit into this category, if the owner would not use them for any other usage other than its designated usage for fear of damage.

If one has a hand blender in his kitchen that he is very careful that no-one should use it for any other purpose than its designated usage, although it’s not very expensive, it nevertheless is muktza machmas chisoron kis.

Chazal forbade one to move certain items on Shabbos. The underlying principle for this halacha is that any item that is not prepared for usage when Shabbos commences is muktza, i.e., set aside. Therefore, it may not be moved on Shabbos. There are various reasons given for this prohibition. *To prevent one from forbidden carrying,1 * Just as one’s speech must be different on Shabbos than during the week, so too moving items must also differ,2 * To prevent him from performing a forbidden melocho,3 * To differentiate Shabbos from a weekday for those that do not work during the week, so in order to make Shabbos a different day, we forbid moving certain items to differentiate Shabbos from the rest of the week.4 We will begin detailing the different types of muktza and their individual halachos that apply to them. Then we will

1 2 3 4

Raavid on the Rambam Hilchos Shabbos Chapter 24:13. Rashi in Beitza 12a.

Rambam Hilchos Shabbos Chapter 24:12.

Rambam.

Rambam.

Q. Does muktza machmas chisoron kis depend on the value of the item?

Q. Is there any permitted manner to move something that is muktza machmas chisoron kis?

A. It can be moved with one’s body, even for the sake of the muktza item itself.7 If the hand blender fell out of the cupboard and one wishes to move it out of the way of the children, it may be pushed with one’s foot to a safe place until after Shabbos. Similarly, if the food processor was left out on the counter and one needs the space on the counter, it may be moved out of the way with one’s elbow.8 Alternatively, it can be moved by a non-Jew if the item is needed (if it has a permitted usage) or if it is in a place that is needed.9 5 6 7 8 9

Gemarah Shabbos 157a, Rashi 123a, Shulchan Aruch 308:1.

Gemarah Shabbos 141a, Shulchan Aruch 311:8.

Gemarah Shabbos 141a, Shulchan Aruch ibid in the name of the Rosh. Mishnah Berurah.

See Graz 276:10, Rav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l in Shulchan Shlomo 311:6.

Mishnah Berurah 279:14.

17

Oneg Shabbos Issue 263

Restoring the primacy of Choshen Mishpat Under the auspices of Harav Chaim Kohn ‫שליט"א‬

Rabbi Meir Orlian Halachah Writer, BHI

This page is sponsored by nextgenrealestate.co.uk

FLOWERS FOR SHABBOS Mr. Schorr sued Mr. Greenbaum for a very large sum in Rabbi Dayan’s beis din; Mr. Greenbaum denied the charge completely. The case was extremely intricate. It entailed a number of sessions and hundreds of pages of documentation.

Finally, after much deliberation, the beis din exempted Mr. Greenbaum completely. The Dayanim, headed by Rabbi Dayan, wrote a lengthy ruling explaining why he was not liable.

A week after the ruling was rendered, someone rang the doorbell at Rabbi Dayan’s house on Friday morning.

Mrs. Dayan answered the door and was surprised to see someone holding a large bouquet of flowers. “For whom is this?” she asked.

“Is Rabbi Dayan home?” the man asked.

“One moment,” Mrs. Dayan said. She called her husband to the door. Rabbi Dayan came to the door, and saw that it was Mr. Greenbaum.

“Good morning, Mr. Greenbaum,” Rabbi Dayan greeted him. “Is everything OK?” “Yes, thank G-d,” replied Mr. Greenbaum. “These flowers are to decorate your Shabbos table, in appreciation of your efforts in the just ruling in my favour.”

“Thank you very much,” said Rabbi Dayan. “Please come inside.”

“That’s not necessary,” said Mr. Greenbaum. “I just wanted to bring the flowers.” “Nonetheless, please come inside,” insisted Rabbi Dayan. “I need to talk to you.”

Mr. Greenbaum came inside; Rabbi Dayan offered him a seat. “I appreciate your gesture,” said Rabbi Dayan.

“However, I cannot accept the flowers; it would be like bribery! You can give them to your wife for Shabbos.”

“Bribery?!” gasped Mr. Greenbaum. “How can this be bribery? The case is behind us! The ruling was issued!

All I want is to show appreciation for your efforts.”

“Even so,” replied Rabbi Dayan. “Let me show you.” He pulled out Volume One of Choshen Mishpat.

Why is Rabbi Dayan not allowed to accept the bouquet of flowers for Shabbos?

‫לע''נ אריאל יהודה ז''ל בן ר' פינחס צבי נ''י קליין‬

“The Gemara (Kesubos 105a) teaches that bribery is prohibited not only when given in order to pervert justice,” explained Rabbi Dayan, “but even payment by one party to rule justly if the law is in his favor is prohibited. This is because the dayan will naturally be drawn to his side” (C.M. 9:1; Sma 9:2).

“The Rosh (Sanhedrin 3:17) implies that even ‘bribery after the ruling’ (shochad me’uchar), is not allowed, based on a case in Sanhedrin (27a-b),” explained Rabbi Dayan. “Bar Chama was accused of murder, but Rav Papi advocated on his behalf and he was exonerated.

Bar Chama felt indebted to Rav Papi and committed to pay Rav Papi’s taxes. Rosh explains that this is not a violation of shochad me’uchar, since, anyway, taxes are not supposed to be levied on talmidei chachamim.

Rama infers from this that if a litigant brings a gift after the judgment to a Dayan for having exonerated him, the Dayan may not receive it (C.M. 34:18).

Others explain that Rav Papi was allowed to receive benefit from Bar Chama since he was not the adjudicating Dayan but rather a spectator sitting before the Dayan (Pischei Teshuvah 34:27; see, however, Responsa Torah l’Shema #345).

The prohibition seems patterned after the laws of ribbis. The Torah prohibits interest stipulated at the time of the loan, but the Sages prohibited even gifts granted before or after the loan when clearly given on account of the loan. Some deduce from this that shochad me’uchar is similarly prohibited only when the litigant clearly links the gift with the Dayan’s ruling in his favor. Although the ruling was already issued, the concern is that the Dayan might initially be swayed by the expectation to receive a gift afterward” (Gra 34:44; R. Akiva Eiger 34:18; Y.D. 160:6).

“Some maintain that it is only a middas chassidus (act of righteousness) to refrain from receiving the gift,” concluded Rabbi Dayan, “but the Rama indicates that it is prohibited” (Dvar Hamishpat, Sanhedrin 23:1; Birkei Yosef, C.M. 9:2).

Verdict: A Dayan should not accept a gift from a litigant for having ruled in his favor. M

Provided by Business Halacha Institute. The BHI is a non-profit organization based in New York that educates and guides people in up to date applications of monetary halacha. For more information or to browse the BHI archives, visit www.businesshalacha.com

Oneg Shabbos Issue 263

18

SHEMIRAS HALOSHON

FOOD FOR THOUGHT TO SPARK N CONVERSATIO

SHALOM STRATEGIES A TEN-SECOND ANSWER

HE OUGHT TOKNOW BETTER… BUT HE DOESN’T

If you were given ten seconds to offer meaningful advice to a chassan or a kallah just before they go to the chuppah, what do you think you would say? Would it be “communicate”? Perhaps “be there for each other”? Maybe you would think that the most important thing should be to view each other l’chaf zechus?

IF YOU HAVE A NON-RELIGIOUS JEW AS A NEIGHBOUR , MAY YOU DISCUSS HIS TRANSGRESSIONS OF JEWISH LAW WITH OTHERS? THE DILEMMA

When HaGaon HaRav Aharon Leib Shteinman, zt”l, was asked this question, his short, three-word answer was unequivocal: “L’vater, l’vater, l’vater – to give in, to give in, to give in.” That was it: three words to guide a couple towards a successful marriage.

What is the middah underlying this ability to “let things go,” to give in, not to give up? It is the middah of anavah- humility. In contrast, people who are unable to let go, people who are makpid about many things, are assumed to be propelled by the middah of gaavah (arrogance).

While you’re having your Shabbos seudah, your non-religious nextdoor neighbour is having a pool-side barbecue. May you criticize his actions in your conversation with your Shabbos guests?

THE HALACHA Although we are not prohibited from speaking loshon hora about a heretic, today’s nonreligious Jew is generally not defined as a heretic. He’s compared to a tinok shenishbah – a Jewish child who was kidnapped and raised without Torah. Therefore, he falls into the category of Jews about whom loshon hora is prohibited. M (See Beis Yosef, Yoreh Deah 159; Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 159:3; cf. Shach ad loc #6. See also sources cited in “A Lesson a Day” p.419, footnote 97)

Rav Shteinman’s answer of “l’vater, l’vater, l’vater” is in sync with anivus being the middah underlying vatranus. After all, Rav Shteinman has become legendary for detesting gaavah.

NOTE: A situation in which one party consistently dominates, insults, or belittles another must be addressed by professionals. Such a situation does not call for vatranus – it is abuse, and it must be stopped M

TALK ABOUT IT How do you know if you are giving in or giving up?

The Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation Reviewed by Rabbi Moshe Mordechai Lowy. For discussion only; actual halachic decisions should be made by a rav or halachic expert on a case-by-case basis.

18 July 2020

‫כ"ו תמוז תש"פ‬

‫מסעי‬-‫פרשת מטות‬

‫פרקי‬ ‫אבות‬

19

Greenland Photo: Joe Shutter

Chapter 3 Mishna 18 “Rabbi Eliezer [the son of] Chisma would say: the laws of kinin (bird offerings) and the laws of pischei niddah (calculating periods) ---these, these are the meat of Halachah (Torah law). The calculations of solar seasons and gematria are the condiments of wisdom.”

Rabbi Eliezer Ben Chisma was a genius in mathematics. The Gemara says that he had a formula that could calculate the number of drops in ocean. Yet even he, who was so fluent in these subjects, compared mathematics and science to flavouring agents.

They can only add flavour to Torah, but cannot replace the main body of Torah. M

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