Unbound
The Dazed Starling REBORN Spring2023
Founded in 2021, TheDazedStarling:Unbound is the online literary journal of the Department of Modern Languages & Literature at California Baptist University.
Address correspondence to: Dr. Erika J. Travis, Managing Editor TheDazedStarling
CBU, Modern Languages & Literature 8432 Magnolia Avenue Riverside, CA 92504 (etravis@calbaptist edu)
The Department of Modern Languages & Literature offers a Master of Arts degree in English, Bachelor of Arts degrees and minors in English and Spanish, and a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree and minor in creative writing. To learn more about the programs and professors in the Department of Modern Languages & Literature, explore www calbaptist edu
The Managing Editor would like to thank Dr. Chuck Sands, Provost of CBU; Dr. Lisa Hernández, Dean of the College of Arts & Sciences; Dr. James Lu, Chair of the Department of Modern Languages & Literature; and all of those who offered their encouragement, guidance, and friendship during this publication process TheDazedStarling is currently published with funds generously provided by CBU’s Department of Modern Languages & Literature.
©April 2023 Respective Authors
Dazed Starling Unbound
Reborn
A Note from the Editors
Dear Reader,
We thank you for taking the time to read the Spring 2023 edition of the DazedStarling:Unbound. For our fifth issue, we are pleased to present a collection of poems, short stories, and art that speaks to the theme of rebirth, hope, and freedom submitted by the inspired students, faculty, and friends of CBU.
The pieces in the journal celebrate not life itself, but the beauty of transformation that lies within it. Like a butterfly, life goes through stages, morphing and changing until it evolves into something new. Through their poetry, fiction, and art, these writers and artists have brought our vision to light. These pieces express themes of love, loss, and redemption, which reflect the renewal and the changing tides of life.
We hope you enjoy this issue of TheDazedStarling:Unbound.
Sincerely, TheDazedStarling:Unbound Editorial Team
Marc Agbayani, Ethan Frese, Veanna Guevera, Abigail Lopez, Megan Madrigal, Elizabeth Rhodes, Connor Ryan, Jameson Showers, Audrey Smith, Andrew Winslow
Abigail
02 Phoenix
AnnaMarie Frese
06
Lily of the Valley
15 Sunshine Emme Buhl
18 Bird (A)
Emily McGinn
22
Breaking Free
Kaylie Garcia
05 Reborn
Natalie Tanaka
Diana Josephine Mejia COVER ART
10
The Birdcage
Emme Buhl
16
Changing Seasons
Natalie Tanaka
21
Bird (B)
Emily McGinn
Count Your Stars
Aliah Martinez
shades of life
Peyton Bell
we have lived many shades of life, you and I.
when I was young I was bright pink like bubblegum, like faces after running I imagine you were violet that was your favorite color when we met and there were glimpses of it in the childhood photos we shared with laughter and lipgloss when we got older we were yellow. when I looked at you I saw the best parts of me reflected like sunlight in my bedroom window. we were quilted creatures lingering on summerish nothings, on the simple divinity of belonging.
then one morning we were not who we used to be. I got bluer you got redder and we just didn’t match anymore. I have lived many shades of lifesee the brush strokes for yourselfbut I hope someday life will paint us the same way once more
AnnaMarie Frese
The King’s Dinner
Sandra Rose Hughes
The phoenix sang her final song, her mournful tune, last night. A song of grief, a song of joy, a song of dark and light.
My king believed the phoenix chick, if served upon his plate, Would grant him immortality, and stave off all man’s fate. Thus in the morning I was sent to find the new-hatched bird. I started forth before the dawn near where her song was heard.
In top of a palmetto, an oasis in a glen, I found her small and trembling in a nest of cinnamon.
I found the blue-eyed fledgling bird a-crying in the ash. Her eyes were bright, her beak gleamed sharp, her down a ruby flash. I reached up for the phoenix though she shrank away from me. With gauntlet on, I captured her she did not peck nor flee.
Now that I’d seized the phoenix bird I’d promised to my lord, I turned back to his lordship who held my vast reward.
I placed the phoenix in my bag and clasped the leather flap. Hardly guessing that her eyes had set for me a trap. For I’d not guessed her tender eyes could soften my hard core; I thought about my son, who I’d left playing on the floor.
My son had bright blue eyes, you see, much like the fragile nestling. Before my heel could take a step, my mind and heart were wrestling.
My mind told me I’d done my work- the silver coins were mine, As long as I turned in the bird and then the king could dine.
Give Me Jesus
Kaci Rigney
In everything that I do, the Lord be with me, morning, noon, evening, and night. When I’m happy or afraid, I know I need to trust You; rise, lift my face, and give You my every waking moment. Me, my dreams, hopes, longings, I give You, Jesus.
You who don’t yet know Christ, can know Him today; have hope for the future, all forgiven and washed clean. This rebirth of hope and life turns you from a world full of sin’s alluring enticements. GiveJesus all you are. Allow me to introduce my dearest friend, Jesus.
Natalie Tanaka
Diana Josephine Mejia
In the Releasing There is Wonder
Jennifer Tronti
Hope is woven in silvered strands
Of dreams soft fading at morning light
To be reborn in late night rows
Of thoughts and tears and tremors
Seeded like clouds, or crops, in silence, Or meditative might. One braided length
Of awe, one of love, and one of scarred
Vulnerability. To be reborn is to be lost And found – both at once – raptured and Reacquainted, familiar and new. To be reborn Is to recognize the rainbowed horizons
Receding into the eyes’ peripheral haze. Ashes creating and consuming and Conflating storied selves with salvific threads Of filaments growing down and rooted up In successions of phoenix moves. The break That heals. The loss that returns. The life that Sacrifices. The Word that calms and moves, Transmuting in spirit, truth, and touch.
Like A Star
Rachel Perrington
How to Rescue Antique Spinning Wheels
Gretchen Bartels-Ray
A broken maiden must be mended with care: never fix her with glue, as she might fly off. Delicate as gossamer and sturdy as walnut, each antique wheel has survived for centuries. Each knows her own mind. And to mend her, you must mark her, hear her story, and birth her anew.
When restored, she hums a singular melody, nearly forgotten under dusty cobweb years, waiting for others to join. Feel the foot of each woman who has spun on this wheel. Transform the straw years spent roving to gold of memory and kinship. She will know when she finds her home. You will too.
We Sang Dirges in the Dark
(In conversation with Ms. Angelou)
Isaac Escalera
Tonight dark is pressed Against a caged bird’s fragile body
Where is your song?
Are we dealing with counterfeit liberty?
There are real problems?
Tell me what’s $20 bucks worth?
Tonight the cities burning question, demands an answer to this
What do I do with this anger? Can God still
shine in the shattered glass, or the broom sweeping it?
Or the hands? Can they heal when they are tethered
No more by darkness?
Can my caged heart still sing?
The Life and Death of a Rose
Olivia McKee
The sun–its never-ceasing, ever-shining glow radiated warmth. The light pierced through the dark like a sword through fabric. It filtered through the clouds and spotted the earth with its glitter. It was a lovely spectacle from above, even sweeter within its glow. I was a mere seed at this time, but I still beheld the sun with the holy reverence it demanded. After all, it was my true life source.
I was picked up by a bluejay in its migration back home from wintertime. The flight was brief; my descent came quickly. I landed in a field of meticulously and strategically placed foliage; such a spectacle must have had a creator. Yet, how could a natural occurrence be orchestrated by anything other than nature? It was beyond my comprehension. It was a beautiful conception, nonetheless, that one who was crafted can do the crafting. Pondering.
As I lacked digits and limbs, my movement remained stagnant as my life sped by. I pondered this as I lay on the freshly turned soil in the masterfully crafted oasis. Days went by--the sun shines, the moon rises, birds fly. Day after day, my anticipation for the cumulation of my existence grew and grew. What would I metamorphose to? Would I be a rose? Or perhaps a tree? Maybe I would be a butterfly. As long as I wasn’t a weed, I would be pleased.
I wished to add value.
Time will tell, and until then, I remained stoic in lush plains, which was where I knew that I was because well, I did not recall how I knew. All I knew was what I knew, and not how it came to be. Days went by, and my change was still impending. Nothing seemed to be happening nor changing about me. Was I supposed to be doing something to expedite this process? Was I subconsciously squandering my potential? Was this anxiety? I did not even possess vital organs, and yet, the feeling I had felt very human.
Trepidation inundated every fiber of my germinating being until suddenly, I felt a release of pressure. A green stem emerged from my outer shell. My mind was put to rest as I realized I did not have to consciously change myself in order to reach the climax of my existence. I was finally relieved that I seemed to be reaching my full potential. Please, I didn’t want to be a weed. Let me be a rose. I yearned for a greater purpose than to choke and to kill.
I grew and grew, sprouting higher day by day. I couldn’t wait for the day I finally met the creator of the garden which I inhabited. I know that they will be so pleased to meet me. I went from being discreet and invisible to being tall and proud. Excitement flooded my mind as I thought about the masterful inventor behind the earthy home in which I resided.
Over time, I noticed the pattern of the moon it came, set, and disappeared; the sun did the same. My cyclic existence became obsolete, like my being. My purpose became awaiting the day I met the architect of this intricate sanctuary. There were days when I saw him, the tall man with the hat who watered and trimmed back the beautiful daisies. The care he took for each individual stem to sculpt his Eden was remarkable.
Would I finally be incorporated into the garden? Would I finally find out what plant I am? Was I a rose? I was tall, florid, and had thorns. I must have been. I have to be. Seconds felt like ages as my creator approached and reached out to me. My purpose was here. He grabbed my stem close to the root. The creator strategically repositioned me; I could sense it! One, two, three, he ripped up my roots, and I was gone.
I must have been a weed.
Necessary Pain
A Fibonacci Poem
Katharyn Grace
I saw melted butterflies in chrysalises underneath the velvety leaves their little caterpillar bodies have been transformed ready to be reborn in violent beauty as something much lighter than before
Emme Buhl
Natalie Tanaka
Dandelions
Abigail Lopez
Delicately made by God And stretched out with spaces for air. Its white seedlings can blow softly But with the wind too harsh, the Beauty separates. Then the seeds are forced to go And be uprooted from their home. They are tasked to drift And find a place in new soils. I understand your suffering, Dandelions, And how you mercilessly wait For someone’s breath To blow you away.
Emily McGinn
Devotion
Emma Totaro
Jack knelt in front of the tombstone he spent his last shillings on. Adaline’s family wanted to throw her body into the Pit of Lost Souls. They had told him that her empty body wasn’t worth the cost of a spot in the Lunaris cemetery.
Jack’s heart ached at the constant reminder of her transformation. He cursed the Lunaris malediction that intercepted the womens’ souls on the way to Afterlife, forcing them into a sort of purgatory before eternity.
The last image Jack had of Adaline was her frail body lying in the infirmary, her shaking hand stretched towards Jack and her face ghost white. Her image conquered his every thought.
He stretched out his hand to caress the edge of her tombstone, imagining the soft curve of her face. It would’ve been better if she died. Adaline’s body lay in the dirt beneath his knees, but her soul didn’t go to Afterlife. It was stuck in the stream.
“Come visit me at the stream, darling,” Adeline’s last words floated through his memories, never leaving his mind. He knew that her spirit would reside at the stream until she trapped a male soul, but was he ready to give his soul to the Afterlife?
Jack’s knees shook as he rose from the muddy grave. A hand clapped his shoulder.
“Let’s go, buddy. It’s time to get back to the troops,” Aaron said.
“What’s the point?”
“The point is that life goes on. You’ve got me and the rest of our rank supporting you. Plus, there’s no shortage of girls swooning over our troop. You’ll have another one in no time.”
Jack spun on his heel to face Aaron, throwing his hands in the air. “I don’t want another one. I just want her.” His voice echoed off the tombstones around them.
“Fine, then. Waste your life on a seductress. I’ll see you when you realize there’s more to life than her.” Aaron trudged across the cemetery towards the center of Lunaris, leaving Jack in the mud. Taking one last look at Adaline’s grave, Jack strode toward Siren’s Stream just outside Lunaris. He ducked under the gate, disregarding the posted sign to keep out.
Ahead of Jack laid a dirt path, beaten down by the lost men before him and an arched brick bridge. The posts on either side of the bridge had beautiful water creatures inscribed in the brick.
Already, the sirens could smell his presence and were clawing up the bricks to get closer to their victim. Their scales glittered in the sun. He was entranced from the moment he laid eyes on the gorgeous creatures.
He knew there were plenty of spirits here at the stream of women in his town that physically died, but he was only there for one specific soul.
As he stumbled toward the center of the bridge, a siren more beautiful than the rest waited for him, perched on the edge. Tears formed in his eyes when he saw her.
“You came back for me,” Adeline said in a melodic, sultry voice.
“I can’t live without you.”
When he reached her in the center of the bridge, she clasped her hands around his neck, leaning backward. His body followed hers as the couple tumbled over the side of the bridge. The two of them fell to the water, embraced as their souls ascended to Afterlife together.
Emily McGinn
Kaylie Garcia
Ignition Point
Gretchen Bartels-Ray
Exhaustion that fills his hollow bones with the ache of a thousand years alone in paradise ignites the desire that drives the phoenix, whose feathers of fiery gold and amaranth have become aubergine with age, to gather myrrh and cinnamon with which he builds an empty nest that will hold what he was and what he will be when he looks at the sun and says “Now, I am ready.
Remake me.”
author & Artist biographies
AliahMartinez is a senior majoring in mathematics and minoring in fine art. When she’s not calculating numbers and studying formulas, she’s expressing her inner-self with a paintbrush. Aliah’s pointillism piece, CountYourStars, aims to show appreciation towards all that the universe has to offer.
PeytonBellis a sophomore English major with a philosophy minor. She enjoys reading Jane Austen, collecting vinyls, and drinking tea with friends. Peyton shares her poetry through her Instagram account, @peytonthepoet, and recently published her first book of poems, entitled APlaceSuchasThis, on Amazon.
AnnaMarieFrese is a sophomore majoring in interior design and minoring in fine art. She enjoys jewelry making, ceramics, and drawing occasionally. When she is not busy with schoolwork, she can be found reading, baking, in the ceramics studio, or creating practical artwork for her small business.
SandraRoseHughes(NeeBennett,'05) is a stay-at-home mom to four children and one cat. When she's not rinsing cloth diapers or baking sourdough bread, she is writing poetry and middle grade fantasy fiction. She recently published a poetry collection called, WhyFaeries Bite, and designed and edited Habitations, Volume 1. Follow her on Instagram @sandarosehughes.
KaciRigneyholds a Bachelor of Arts degree in Vocal Music from California Baptist College (now University). She has enjoyed a lifetime of singing, songwriting, and poetry. Kaci has published poetry in California'sBestEmergingPoets2020, Z Publishing, and online magazines like TheDazedStarling:Unbound 2022, AgapeReview, and KosmeoMagazine, February and March of 2023. Kaci self-published four illustrated poetry e-books: Christmas&EasterLikeThat, and ALove Trio:ChasingLove,FindingLove,and LosingLove which may be found on her website www.kacirigney.com. She is an aspiring novelist and an avid photographer. Kaci’s life is devoted to Christ Jesus, her husband Kevin, her daughters, Katie and Kolleen, and her many grandchildren.
NatalieTanaka is a freshman majoring in communication studies and minoring in photography. She loves taking pictures of anything that catches her eye, especially nature. Besides photography, she enjoys writing, cooking, baking, and anything Star Wars.
DianaMejia is a senior in pre-nursing and is currently getting a minor in early childhood development and illustration. She tends to draw digitally mostly using Procreate or Clip Studio, but she also dabbles in traditional mediums like watercolors and drawing with fountain pens. She loves musicals, embroidery, and cute stationary as well as spending time with her dog, Scooter.
JenniferTronti has been teaching composition, literature, and creative writing at California Baptist University for well over 20 years. She’s currently weeping and wailing her way through a project on tears as a mythopoetic mode of storytelling. She has recently published an article examining the graphic novel through the lens of ritual theory. When she is not teaching, writing, or crying, she’s laughing with family, watching movies, reading good books, and making joyful noises for Jesus.
RachelPerrington is a junior in high school looking into California Baptist University's programs and classes. Her favorite type of poems are ones that people can connect with, which was the goal of her poem. When she is not writing, she loves playing the piano and spending time at California beaches.
GretchenBartels-Ray is a Professor of English at California Baptist University and lives and writes in San Diego, California. Her poetry has appeared in Sojourners,TheEkphrasticReview, KAIROSLiterary Magazine, VoicesdelaLuna, and Inlandia. Her flash fiction has also been published at EveryDayFiction. When she's not teaching or writing, she's exploring the zoo with her husband and toddler.
EmmeBuhlis a senior majoring in English and will graduate this semester. She enjoys creating art and writing. Her favorite genre to write is science fiction and magical realism. When she is not writing, she is either crocheting, drinking (black) coffee, or hanging out with friends.
IsaacEscalerais an adjunct instructor at CBU. He enjoys long walks on short beaches. That second part is a lie, but he did go to Cal State San Bernardino where he received his BA in Creative Writing of Fiction and his MFA in Creative Writing of Poetry. He is a humble trophy husband to his beautiful and talented wife, and father to two adorable children. His fiction and poetry have appeared in the various literary journals and projects including Badlands,ThePacific Review, theSandCanyonReview, Shuff, TheSecretHandshake, The RedlandsReview, TheChaffeyReview, and others he has probably forgotten. In his free time, he enjoys working the phrase “You know I heard in this one podcast…” into as many conversations as possible, serving on his church's worship team with his wife and discussing biblical symbolism in The Mandalorian.
OliviaMcKee is a sophomore majoring in English. She greatly enjoys reading all works of historical fiction and recreating stories classified as such. Her fascination with real-life application to storytelling is what prompted this specific story, which rose organically from her observation of nature. When she is not reading or writing, she is working as a barista, going on random adventures, and playing board games with friends.
KatharynGrace is a junior majoring in biomedical sciences and minoring in creative writing. She owes her passion for writing to her mom and grandparents who always encouraged her to be curious and constantly pursue learning. She finds that writing, particularly poems, has been an outlet to explore emotions. She also enjoys incorporating scientific or technical topics into her poetry to bring the two fields of study together.
AbigailLopez is an undergrad English major with a concentration in creative writing. She was inspired to write the poem "Dandelions" because it is the flower of military children, which is her background. She likes to spend time with friends and make art when not searching for inspiration from the world around her.
EmilyMcGinn is a senior majoring in journalism with a double minor in environmental science and political science. When she is not working on The Banner newspaper as editor-in-chief, she enjoys writing poetry in her journal, drinking (a lot) of coffee, spending time outdoors, working out, and reading.
EmmaTotaro is a junior majoring in creative writing and minoring in Christian studies. She enjoys writing sci-fi and fantasy stories, as well as dabbling in poetry. When she is not writing, she loves reading, baking, making music, and spending time in nature.
KaylieGarcia is a freshman majoring in graphic design and minoring in American Sign Language. She loves creating posters, logos, and cover art for books. She also enjoys learning more about the deaf community and raising awareness by using her design skills. In her free time, when she is not designing, Kaylie takes delight in cuddling with her kitty, baking, hanging out with friends, and going on family outings for a fun day somewhere. She hopes to use her gifts to always honor God and to use her creativity to further his kingdom.
The Dazed Starling: Unbound
About The Publication
TheDazedStarling:Unbound is an online publication of the Bachelor of Fine Arts in Creative Writing program at California Baptist University. Its goal is to extend CBU’s DazedStarling student literary journal’s mission by offering an additional publication opportunity open not only to current CBU students but also to faculty, alumni, and friends of the university. TheDazedStarling:Unbound also seeks to extend the creative voice ofTheDazed Starling student literary journal with additional emphasis on visual arts.
https://calbaptist.edu/modern-languages-and-literature/dazed-starling/