FITNESS

IT’S NOT TOO LATE TO WORK ON A BEACH BOD!

Yep, we’re into the lazy, hazy days of summer here in SoCal. Every day is looking like a good beach day — remember the sun block. The “May Gray” and “June Gloom” conditions are (hopefully) behind us for another year. Why are you panicking, then? Are you absolutely NOT ready to show a single square inch of skin to the public? Fret not! First, who cares what other people think? Second, every day is a new opportunity to get to work on your beautiful self. So, let’s talk about some OH SO SEXY exercise and nutrition stuff, shall we? I know — OMG — he’s actually going to talk about stuff related to training. Yes, get your mind set first, because the stuff upstairs is the boss of everything from your neck down.

FIRST, BOOZE

When it comes to that glassful of social lubricant — I see you peeps mimosa-ing! — one of the first things you should do is set a limit for yourself and then, puhleez sista, HOLD TO IT! No peer pressure. Need motivation? Alcohol is literally a poison; you can set it on fire, for sh*t’s sake! And please don’t dwell on alcohol’s possible effects on testosterone levels, whether or not carbs get digested, and so on and so forth. That’s for us fitness nerds. If you’re concerned about those things, then reread the prior paragraph and just set a limit.

Now that you’ve cut a drink or two, odds are you may be able to control your overwhelming urge to consume the next street hot dog or carne asada fries you get a whiff of. How does that help? Being more sober equals making good or better choices.

NEXT, FOOD

Start cutting back a bit on your food intake. So, if you do get those carne asada fries — and you know you may eat the whole thing — try this: Save at least a quarter of the fries for later. How does that help?

First, you’ve cut back on how much you’d normally eat, a strategy you can employ at EVERY meal. Odds are you have a pretty good idea of what your eating habits are like, so just trim a bit off your plate. Believe me, do this consistently and the reduced calories WILL add up over time.

And since you’ve trimmed your portion sizes, you’ll have more to eat later, which means your meals will go further. In this age of inflation or supply-chain issues or whatever the buzz word is this week, your dollar will go a little further.

WOO! Proud of you! Booze: Check! Food: Check!

LAST — EXERCISE

Honey, go take a 22-minute walk. Seriously. Just 22 minutes of a good moderate pace walk, every day. For cardio, that’s all it takes. It adds up to roughly 150 minutes weekly, the bare minimum. Walk from Number One Fifth Avenue to Flicks or Uptown Tavern or Hillcrest Brewing Company. Did you see what I did there?

Gurl, showcase that gay power walk! You know, the one where you’re screaming inside your head “Bitch get out my way, can’t you see I’m in a hurry?!” Be like my old roomie Jeff who despite being a foot shorter than me can still walk twice as fast as me — even AFTER a few drinks. Pecs Bar, July 4, 2021.

If walking from bar to bar isn’t your thing, then get it done during the week — first thing in the morning, on your lunch break, at the end of the day, on the way to/from Black’s Beach, wherever you are, get those steps in. MOVE MORE.

Next, pick two days a week and go do some squats, lunges, pushups, rows, planks, side planks, and stretching — stuff that doesn’t even require a gym membership or gym equipment! I know, what a foreign concept, right?

KISS — KEEP IT SIMPLE SASSY

And there ya go! Does it all sound too simple to be true or doable? Here’s what I’ve learned as a trainer: Things are only ever as simple (or as complicated) as you make them out to be.

Choose simple, your future self will thank you later. Happy Pride, San Diego!