MILLENNIAL MATTERS

SEX POSITIVE OR JUST PLAIN CRASS?

Today, sex is everywhere. In books, movies, music, TV, even in the restroom of your favorite bar. Hey, sometimes you get an itch that needs scratching — no matter where you are. No judgment! We’ve all been there a time or two before. Hell, maybe three times or more.

If you think about it, the Internet is one big sex pile, too. So much, in fact, that if you don’t watch where you click, you’ll run the risk of getting something on you . . . something sticky. You should specifically heed this warning when engaging in social media.

OK, so you know where this article is going, don’t you? If you’ve previously read my columns or blog, then you know I have a love/ hate (mostly hate) relationship with social media. Simply put, I don’t understand the constant need to show off online. And now, it seems that the “norm” isn’t showing off by sharing an innocent selfie, but by letting it all hang out. Quite literally.

For example, I’m currently friends with this guy on Facebook, which is odd because I don’t think we’ve ever shared a conversation. A drunken make-out session, sure, but that’s pretty much the only work our tongues have done to get to know one another. Yet, that’s kind of how the bulk of social media relationships work nowadays, right? Adding, following and DM-ing people you may not know. So, I digress.

Anyway, this tongue friend of mine regularly posts pictures of his bulge. A cup of coffee and his bulge. A sandwich and his bulge. A steering wheel and his bulge. Here’s the twist, though: the bulge, not that great. I mean, to be fair, was there once upon a time when I would have acted as if I were Indiana Jones and explored the depths of that bulge? Well, yeah!

Actually, my tongue friend and I previously — wait! We’re getting off track.

My point is this: I can’t help but wonder if it’s sex-positive or just plain crass that my tongue friend enjoys showing off his bulge online. The same goes for the dime-a-dozen, amateur porn stars flooding Twitter. Every Tom, Dick and Harry (or Luke, Ryan and Jackie) can — and does — post a crotch shot to prove . . . what? That they have balls? That these balls are intact and functioning? Does this type of behavior make these guys feel good about themselves? Does it give them an ego boost? Are they trying to earn money? Break into the porn industry? Or do they like to live life cock first?

And what about the people in their lives who may eventually stumble onto these Twitter accounts? Even if the accounts are “hidden” in some way? We all know how the Internet works: Nothing is sacred. Aren’t these amateur porn stars worried about their mom seeing their junk? Their boss? Their kids? (If they have kids or plan to be a parent.) Don’t they have aspirations that go beyond sex and lust, and gaining attention for accomplishing something a little more impressive than knowing how to take off their pants and work a phone?

Is the true problem here instant gratification? After all, that’s the world we live in now. Do these guys crave immediate likes and comments and retweets on their peter pictures in order to have a sense of accomplishment? Instead of working hard towards a goal, maybe it’s easier — quicker — to unzip and upload?

But is this more satisfying? Does it increase self-worth?

So many questions. Too many questions to unravel in only one column. Still, I want to know the difference between a sex-positive person and a sex-obsessed person. There is a difference, isn’t there? There has to be a line drawn somewhere.

I understand and accept that I may come off as a prude for writing this, but my stance on the topic remains strong: Our community suffers from having an unhealthy focus on sex. There’s more to life. At least, there should be.

What’s the cure? Is there a cure? Yes. More therapy for everyone!

I guess, for me, what it comes down to is having some sort of divide between fantasy and reality. Logging onto a porn site and getting off to some random guy that you don’t have access to is not the same as knowing whether or not your Starbucks barista is uncircumcised. Further, what about the contrast of turning porn on and off versus constantly being glued to it (i.e. signed into a Twitter account and scrolling through it 10 times a day)?

Does any of this matter? To anyone? Perhaps it should to those hoping to achieve a healthy relationship.