khuluma33

october

Jeremy shares a stage with

Hugh Masekela who blows his own trumpet a little The Trantraal Brothers who colour outside the colour lines

2014

The Ro cktobe r issue

JEREMY LOOPS

prepares for takeoff

GOT THE MUNCHIES? FOR THE MENU

s e e pa

g es 2 & 3

PLUS Festival fashion, orchestral outreach, transcendent trance and much more musical mayhem

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Have Your Say

Whether you’ve had a great flight or feel that we could improve our service, we’d like to know. Drop us a line at khuluma@picasso.co.za.

Dear Mr Venter, In a country where customer service is nonexistent, I would like to take the time to point out that there are still employees who care. A friend and I were booked for a flight to George in July. My friend ended up in hospital due to a medical emergency and was therefore unable to make the flight.

I tried to cancel her flight online the night before our flight, but was unable to do so. Eight o’clock the morning of departure I phoned customer services and was greeted by a friendly voice belonging to Zaahir Isaacs. He told me what documentation I had to submit for a refund to be considered. He handled it with such sensitivity that I put the phone down feeling positive and grateful.

He continued to follow up, and kept me up to date with the same helpful and friendly attitude. I can gratefully say that my friend was refunded and the whole exercise left me feeling that there are still some people that care about those they deal with. Well done kulula for having quality staff like Zaahir Isaacs.

Gratefully yours, Mrs Edna Stocks

Find Phat and win!

Introducing the khuluma Treasure Hunt, where one lucky readers can win a return flight for two to any kulla destination in South Africa!

To enter, find the Phat logo hiding in a story in this issue of khuluma, then head to www.khulumaonline.co.za to fill in your entry. Competition is open to all South African residents, excluding employees of Picasso Headline/Times Media Ltd/kulula.com/ Comair Limited, and closes on 31 October 2014.

Phat has become a leader in understanding and applying a myriad of brand-activation touch points, old and new. They seek out talented individuals with dedication, enthusiasm, eloquence and charisma to carry your brand-activation message into the marketplace. These people are trained to be professional ambassadors of your brand in the environment that they will be working in.

For more information, contact talk-to-us@phat.co.za, check out www.phat.co.za or follow them on Twitter @thisisphat.

Note: kulula.com is not involved with this ticket giveaway, and PHAT is solely responsible for the competition. kulula.com

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View from the Top

OCTOBER IS THE purple month in Pretoria (which is not the same as the pink month in Cape Town).

Pretoria students wander under the jacaranda trees hoping to secure an exam pass by having a flower fall on their heads. I suspect that a large text book on the appropriate subject would be more effective.

While we might not all be openly superstitious, we still assume the certificates on the wall of our doctor’s office mean that he will correctly reattach the consequence of our carpentry accident and not leave us playing Scrabble with 11 toes. Lawyers’ certificates are even more dubious, unless you were born in ancient Rome. Do they mean that your lawyer can get you custody of your dog, or that he participated in laboratory experiments? (There are apparently some things that rats won’t do!) I have a certificate to prove that I ate a mopane worm, but I doubt that it means anything…

Eddie Izard has a great skit on symbolism. When the scurvy-riddled colonists landed with their flea-infested craft in a new land, they would leap from the bow and plant their nation’s flag in the sand, laying claim to the new territory for king and country. The local tribes would jump out of the bushes and protest that they had been living there for the past 5 000 years, to which the unperturbed captain would proclaim, ‘Aha! But do you have a flag?’

So what will happen if the floral xenophobics succeed in having the invading jacarandas removed from Pretoria? Will it deprive their imported German cars of shade, or will it better allow them to smell their Scottish whisky? Or will students now need to go to Stellenbosch to get an acorn on the head?

At least we know that kulula’s green aircraft really are the greenest in the sky – no symbolism or superstition required. Although you have to question why you have a life vest under your seat when flying over the Karoo.

Erik Venter, CEO: Comair Ltd

OCTOBER 2014

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Contents

October 2014

regulars

1 VIEW FROM THE TOP Our CEO’s hilarious letter, your thoughts and our Treasure Hunt competition

10 ÜBER-EDITOR’S LETTER Jeremy Loops on music, magic and machines that fly

12 KULULA PAGES How to save when booking your flights, and Trev lets it all hang out in Mauritius

guide

17 WESTERN CAPE What to do, where to eat, where to sleep and how to dress in and around the Mother City

25 GAUTENG Get busy, chow down, shop till you drop, then sleep it off in Gauteng

31 KWAZULU-NATAL What’s happening in the warmest place in Mzansi

37 GARDEN ROUTE Food, fashion and natural wonder along our glorious Garden Route

43 BEAUTY Rock the look at festivals with these products 47 TOP TIPPLE Drinks to keep you going till the wee hours

49 WATCH Blood-curdling silverscreen Halloween entertainment

50 LISTEN The latest CD releases, plus our bumper music section featuring The Foo Fighters, Beatenberg, MonArk and more!

66 GAMES Thumb-twiddling, eyetwitching gaming goodness 69 TECH Pay-on-the-run systems, plus how to keep your phone going when you’re far from power

OCTOBER 2014

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Contents

October 2014

chat

72 MUSIC Jeremy chats to Hugh Masekela about staying relevant (and alive) over a legendary musical career

78 COMICS Jeremy chats to Nathan and André Trantraal about colour, language and how their representations matter

Win a Holiday package for 2 adults and 2 children

84 LOCAL HERO We keep rhythm with an ensemble of charities uplifting lives through the power of music

travel

90 ROCK ART Explore South Africa’s galleries of ancient art 97 YACHTING Wind in your hair? Salt on your skin? You’ve come to the right place

Question : How many nights is the Holiday Package for?

action

100 TRANCE CULTURE The Cape’s trance scene turns 20 later this year. We look back on two decades of doof-doof-doof 109 DRIVE We check out the Lexus ES250, plus five cars worthy of the rock ’n roll lifestyle

stuff

112 PROPERTY Spruce up your home-entertainment setup

115 MONEY MATTERS How to find employees who rock your world

117 HEALTH Our healthy hints and tips, plus the lowdown on allergies

120 COLUMN Selfies and serpents on the dance floor

Email Holidaypackage@strandtowerhotel.co.za

Closing date 31 October 2014

Contact details Central Reservation Strand Tower Hotel Tel 021-4089100 Email holidaypackage@ strandtowerhotel.co.za

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EDITOR Anthony Sharpe anthonys@picasso.co.za CONTENT MANAGER Raina Julies rainaj@picasso.co.za CONTENT COORDINATOR Vanessa Payne COPY EDITOR Joy Capon PROOFREADER Ingrid Graham COVER PHOTOGRAPH Morné van Zyl MAKE-UP ARTIST Colleen van Rensburg HEAD OF DESIGN STUDIO Jayne Macé-Ferguson DESIGNERS Mfundo Ndzo Leo Abrahams Johan Labuschagne Zanele Balfour (design intern) PRODUCTION EDITOR Shamiela Brenner PROJECT MANAGER Richard White richardw@picasso.co.za SALES CONSULTANTS Stephen Crawford, Bonnie Eksteen, Randall Grace, Eugene Howard, Steve Norval, Marc Plastow, Andre Potgieter, Alec Rompelman, Roman Ross, Clint Smith, Zelda Stein BUSINESS MANAGER Robin Carpenter-Frank robinc@picasso.co.za FINANCIAL ACCOUNTANT Lodewyk van der Walt

To advertise in this magazine please contact Richard White (Project Manager) on 021 469 2500 or richardw@picasso.co.za

SENIOR GM: NEWSPAPERS AND MAGAZINES Mike Tissong ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER Jocelyne Bayer

kulula.com CEO COMAIR LIMITED Erik Venter MARKETING MANAGER, kulula.com Shaun Pozyn SENIOR BRAND MANAGER, kulula.com Bridgette Ramuluvhana BRAND MANAGER, kulula.com Thembeka Mabaso COMAIR LIMITED 1 Marignane Drive, Bonaero Park, Kempton Park, 1619 Tel 011 921 0111 kulula.com contact centre 0861 KULULA (585852) PRINTING

Copyright: No portion of this magazine may be reproduced in any form without written consent of the publishers. The publishers are not responsible for unsolicited material. khuluma is published monthly by Picasso Headline Reg: 59/01754/07. The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of Picasso Headline, kulula or Times Media. All advertisements/advertorials and promotions have been paid for and therefore do not carry any endorsement by the publishers. While every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of its contents, neither kulula, nor the publisher can be held responsible for any omissions or errors, or for any misfortune, injury or damages that may arise therefrom. We reserve the right to edit interviews for layout purposes.

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ÜBER-EDITOR OF THE MONTH

Über-ed’s letter Jeremy Loops

Rock, roll, rinse, repeat HEY. I’M JEREMY and it’s Rocktober. You’re probably thinking, ‘Wait, what?’

Basically from October to December, musicians play as many gigs as we do the nine preceding months of the year. It’s like Christmas from October onwards; hence we musicians call it Rocktober.

See, I make folk music and plant trees for a living in an organisation called Greenpop, so forgive my suspect editorial skills. Haha. Nonetheless, I’m excited to be here keeping you company on this flight. I really love flying, you see – it’s one of my favourite things about travelling. Something about the whirring engines, the bird’s-eye views of the earth and the fact that I’m casually making a two-hour trip of something that used to take our ancestors months blows my mind. It’s fantastic – you’re in a flying machine!

It’s the closest thing to magic you’ll interact with today!

All jokes aside, I was asked to do this cover in support of the Sunflower Fund, who do incredible work in support of people diagnosed with leukaemia and other terminal illnesses. Why me? Well, I happened to be in art class with Chris Corlett, the boy whose unique psychology and tragic fight with leukaemia inspired his mother to start this organisation that has helped so many. Watching Chris’s struggle was a strange, scary time for all of us, just as I imagine it is for others who are affected or inflicted with terminal illness.

Yet watching what the fund has become in his wake is the most remarkable way to celebrate his life, and the lives of others who have passed similarly.

In addition, I was asked to interview two personalities who interest me. I’m a bit of a dreamer, so I reached out to Bra Hugh Masekela, because his story only grows more remarkable with time. I couldn’t believe he agreed to do it.

I also reached out to the Trantraal Brothers, the writers of the popular comic Coloureds, which tells a story I feel South African media has missed to date. Moreover, it’s a smashing read!

So that’s me and the theme of this issue. A little bit of music, some social outreach, a little bit of history, and a little bit of contemporary culture you won’t easily find on your TV screens. I hope you enjoy it as much as I’ve enjoyed being a part of pulling it together. ■

South Africa’s a funny place. It’s got lots of funny people. Some are damn hilarious. Every month, khuluma chooses a particularly amusing individual to be our über-editor. This funny man or woman then interrogates prominent South Africans for us.

So book your flight for next month or head over to www.khulumaonline.co.za to see who it’ll be.

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Jeremy’s creds

Jeremy Loops is a musician based In Cape Town. He performs live with a loop pedal, layering tunes like a one-man band, playing a mix of folk, reggae, hip-hop, gypsy-jazz and whatever keeps him smiling. He won the 2014 Best Live Band MK Award and the 2013 Best Solo Artist MK award. He also co-founded Greenpop, a social enterprise that has planted more than 40 000 trees to date. For show dates and more info, check out www.jeremyloops.com, and follow him @JeremyLoops.

picture: morné van zyl

Who will be our next ed?

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Flying 101:

here’s how to save when booking your flights

IT’S DOWNHILL TO the end of the year, and visions of you on holiday, lazing on the beach, are popping into your mind.

Best you start booking your flights, car hire and hotel accommodation, to get good deals and avoid the last-minute rush. Booking your flights should be a quick and exciting process. We want to save you time and money, so here are some tips on flight bookings.

You’ve heard it before, but here goes again: book your flights as far in advance as possible! Here’s how it works: ticket prices are influenced by supply and demand. When a flight is still empty and the demand is low, the ticket prices will be lower. But as the aircraft fills up and demand increases, so does the price.

The most expensive days to fly are Thursdays, Fridays and Sundays, as flights on these days are in high demand, so, where possible, try to fly on a Tuesday, Wednesday or Saturday.

Flying out of peak times, later in the evening (from 7:30pm onwards), is also usually a more affordable option.

If you belong to Discovery Vitality, have your membership number handy when booking flights so you can login and get the great discount. If you are an eBucks customer, you can click that option and pay or part-pay for flights using your accumulated eBucks. It’s a super-easy way to save some money!

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Holiday time means fun time with family and friends. If you’re travelling with your whole entourage of 10 peeps or more and need to make a group booking, give our Contact Centre a shout to find out about our great deals. If you are pregnant, require a wheelchair, are travelling with pets or have any other special needs, arrange your extra-royal treatment at the check-in counter or call the Contact Centre before your flight.

If you love to travel and you love swiping the plastic, it really makes sense for you to sign up for a kulula credit card. Cardholders earn kulula moolah whenever they swipe their card – anywhere, anytime, for anything. The best part is that it is randfor-rand value, so R1 kulula moolah = R1. kulula moolah can be used to pay or part-pay for flights booked on kulula. com. Free moolah just for swiping? Yes, please!

When booking your ticket and typing in your name and surname, please double-check there are no oopsies and that they match your ID. If you happen to make a mistake, you will have to go through the whole hassle of calling the Contact Centre and requesting a correction. Who’s got

time for that when there are more important things to do, like searching for a hotel closest to the beach? We are not that awful date you don’t want to see again, so please give us your correct contact number so we can call you if there are any changes to your flight.

Once you’ve made your booking, remember you can check your booking details online, as well as make certain changes, book extras like flight and bag insurance, buy an extra bag or book a prepaid seat.

Now that you are well equipped with all the necessary info, there’s no reason why you can’t book that holiday. Happy holiday planning!

kulula.com

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Tsogo sun – so much to choose from. Only one choice

Trev’s Hot Spots

pictures: supplied

looking luscious in Mauritius ALL THESE SELFIES of buff okes on the interwebs really made me think – ‘Trevy old boy, you gotta do something about that inner tube around your midriff.’ So I went on a strict diet for a few weeks: I always gave the top half of my burger’s bun to the dog, made sure every second (or so) beer was a light one, and even hit the gym once or twice. And now, 2.4 kg lighter and feeling fantastic, I think it’s time to show off my new bod on the sandy shores of Mauritius!

As luck would have it, kulula has a lekker holiday special for a trip to this friendly island. From only R13 350 per person sharing, you can score seven nights at the three-star Pearle Beach Resort and Spa, return flights on Air Mauritius from Jo’burg, return airport transfers and all pre-payable airport taxes and fuel levies.

The Pearle Beach Resort and Spa sits on the west coast of Mauritius and is flippin’ close to the beach – a short one-minute walk and you’re there. The kulula deal is for a standard room, which is kitted out with everything you need for a comfortable stay, from air conditioning to satellite TV and a minibar.

Now that I don’t look like a beach ball anymore, I don’t really have to bother with all that ‘keeping active’ stuff, but if you’re keen to get into shape while on holiday, you’re in luck. The resort has a large

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swimming pool, a fitness centre and a boathouse that offers pedal boats, kayaks and snorkelling trips. If that’s not enough, you can also choose from activities like beach volleyball, aqua gym, beach soccer, water polo and table tennis.

I, on the other hand, will definitely be getting my chillax on in Mauritius, so a massage or some time in the sauna at the resort’s Serenity Spa is on the cards for sure. Plus those skimpy gowns you get to wear at spas are perfect for giving the world a glimpse of my new, streamlined self.

Now that I’m skinny, I’ll be eating whatever I like in Mauritius. The holiday package includes breakfast and dinner daily, so there’s really no reason to hold back. I also can’t wait to hit the Pearle Beach Resort and Spa’s Horizon Restaurant, where they serve local and international dishes, and I’ll wash down my meal with a few (regular) beers at the Citronel Bar. Sounds good? Book now for travel departure dates from 13 January to 24 March 2015. It excludes drinks and meals not specified, all items of a personal nature and travel insurance. Standard kulula legal stuff applies.

Check you next time, Trev

Tsogo Sun is the leading hotels, gaming and entertainment company in South Africa, providing a variety of hospitality, entertainment and leisure experiences.

Combining an established heritage with an energised approach, the group proudly includes 14 casinos and more than 90 hotels in Africa and the Seychelles.

If you are looking for a holiday in a great location, Tsogo Sun has the perfect getaway for you. Our association with kulula allows you to travel throughout South Africa to the widest selection of hotels. Our joint holiday packages include breakfast, and kids under 18 sharing a room with two adults stay and eat breakfast free.

Got some eBucks? Pay or part-pay for your next kulula flight using your eBucks.

Rent a car with your flight and get a 10% discount, or get the best rates with Europcar.

As a Discovery Vitality member, you can earn Discovery Miles, which you can use towards paying for your next kulula flight.

Protea Hotels ensure your stay with them is as unique as the kulula experience. Try out any one of the hotels – you won’t forget the experience.

twitter.com/kulula facebook.com/iflykulula

THE NOTICEBOARD win with internet payment Pay for your next booking using internet payment (powered by SID) and you could win one of five return flights for two to any of our domestic destinations.

To find out more, go to www.kulula.com.

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WESTERN CAPE | GUIDE

WHAT’S ON WESTERN CAPE HAMMING IT UP 11 October (Cape Town) 12 October (Joburg)

R’S ITOICE D E O CH

Live music Music legend Albert Hammond is playing two shows in South Africa – at Cape Town’s GrandWest Grand Arena and Joburg’s Carnival City. The singer, songwriter and producer is best known for chart-topping hits such as ‘Peacemaker’, ‘It Never Rains in Southern California’ and ‘The Free Electric Band’. Tickets are R250-R395, from www.computicket.com.

Please note: Corn farmers in southern California were not impressed with Mr Hammond’s frivolous take on their drought troubles.

YOU TUNING ME? 31 October – 2 November

Wine event Put your wine-making skills to the test at Tuning the Vine, on at the Lookout in the V&A Waterfront. Forget plain old wine-tasting – with tattoo parlours, food trucks, music and cocktail bars, winelovers can add some entertainment to this fun learning experience. Tickets are R150. Go to www.tuningthevine.co.za for more info.

Please note: There may be an epidemic of wine flu going around after this event.

FLYING COLOURS

FORE SHORE, BOET

1-2 November

12-14 October

Kite show The Muizenburg sky will fill with spectacular colour as the 20th annual Cape Town International Kite Festival gets under way. Proceeds go to the Cape Mental Health Organisation, who provide mental-health services to people in poorly resourced communities. Entry is R30 for adults and R10 for kids. For more info, go to www.capementalhealth.co.za/kite.

Please note: What happens when you write lies on a kite? Rumours really fly around.

Boat show Cape Town’s premium boat show is back. The 12th annual Cape Town International Boat Show, being held at the CTICC, is ready to showcase some of the most exotic seafaring vessels in Africa. There’s also a host of activities including competitions and demonstrations. Tickets are R70 for adults and free for kids. Check out www.capetownboatshow.com.

Please note: Don’t insult a skipper. They tend to harbour grudges.

WOOSTER SAUCE

text: roxanne jones; images: supplied

17 October – 8 November (Cape Town), 14 November – 11 January (Jo’burg)

Comedy theatre The internationally acclaimed Jeeves and Wooster in Perfect Nonsense is on at Cape Town’s Theatre on the Bay and Joburg’s Montecasino. This award-winning comedy is guaranteed to tickle your funny bone while taking you on an adventurous journey. Tickets are R95-R165, from www.computicket.com.

Please note: What’s the biggest threat to any theatre? An actor with a power tool.

FIRED UP 8 November

Kids educational day Sisanda FunDaytion, an NGO focusing on the educational and recreational needs of disadvantaged children, is partnering with the Cape Town Fire Station to educate children on important aspects of fire safety. The event is taking place at the Fire Station in Roeland Street.

To get involved, contact 078 688 1754 or jill.hunter@sisanda.org.za.

Please note: Kids and fire are not a good match.

GIVEAWAY!

We’ve got 10 sets of double tickets to Jeeves and Wooster in Perfect Nonsense to give away! To enter, go to www.khulumaonline.co.za and click on the Competitions tab. Competition is open to all South African residents, excluding employees of Picasso Headline/Times Media Ltd/kulula.com/Comair Limited, and closes 13 October.

kulula.com

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GUIDE | WESTERN CAPE

EAT WESTERN CAPE The Marvelettes’ 1965 classic song ‘Too Many Fish in the Sea’ is clearly inaccurate; it’s increasingly evident that we live in a world where there are far too few fish in the sea. The Southern African Sustainable Seafood Initiative (SASSI) aims to help consumers to identify and support responsible seafood sellers who serve sustainable stocks (www.wwf.org.za/sassi). The good news is that these two ecoepicurean eateries do swimmingly well.

places great value on terroir-specific ingredients picked as close to home and to cooking time as possible. At Oep ve Koep menus change daily, but expect the likes of maasbanker, bokkom and pear salad with ice plant (Mesembryanthemum crystallinum).

Sustainability is central and he works only with SASSI green-listed fish.

St Augustine Road, Paternoster, West Coast, 022 752 2105, www.facebook.com/oepvekoep

Oep ve Koep

Chef Kobus van der Merwe’s tiny restaurant is in the West Coast hamlet of Paternoster. The chef takes his inspiration from his surroundings and

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The Flagship

Chef-patron Bruce Robertson’s restaurant offers superb ocean-focused, eco-epicurean, SASSI-compliant, fivecourse seafood lunches. Menus change according to what comes out of the sea, but expect the likes of mussel curry with seaweed dumplings, sea-urchin noodles and lemon-fried baby squid on a pickled periwinkle bean salad. The food is sophisticated, but the vibe is casual.

Bruce says ‘barefoot is the dress code’.

(Lunch only; booking is essential.)

15 Erica Rd, Simon’s Town, 021 786 1700, www.chefbrucerobertson.com

DRESS WESTERN CAPE 1) Rocking the Daisies is the perfume ad of local music festivals. It’s cleaner, tamer, and you’re surrounded by grassy fields and mountains. But the weather can be temperamental, as only the Western Cape’s can, so pack for all manner of extremes. A hooded raincoat will come in handy for wind, rain and cold. This drawstring version from Ilan may well be your saving grace! R660, available on Spree.co.za.

2) If there’s ever a time to wear cool t-shirts with odd things written on them, it’s a music festival. Either people will be too drunk to notice, or they’ll

be in the kind of mindset where they’ll enter into a meaningful conversation with you about the deeper meaning of what’s on your chest (literally). Either way, wear it and enjoy! R250 from aLoveSupreme, also available on Helloman.co.za.

3) Your lips are going to need all the moisture they can get, since you’ll be outdoors all day, not to mention drinking less water than usual! For lipcare on-the-go, opt for Revlon’s ColorBurst balms for subtle colour that’s easy to apply, as well as a burst of moisture.

R130, also available at Woolworths.

text: anna trapido, lize hartley; pictures: supplied

Too many fish in the sea?

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WESTERN CAPE | GUIDE

SLEEP WESTERN CAPE EAST SIDE STORY Anthony Sharpe finds comfort in an unexpected part of Cape Town.

pictures: supplied

YOU MAY NOT know it, but Cape Town’s Woodstock suburb was once a popular seaside holiday destination. Woodstock beach stretched as far as the Castle of Good Hope, and in the mid-19th century it was as popular a spot for bathers to frolic as it was for ships to wreck themselves.

With the massive land-reclamation in the 1950s that created the foreshore, the beach was unfortunately destroyed.

Rapid industrialisation also saw the decline of large parts of the suburb, particularly the lower reaches. Until relatively recently, in fact, the idea of staying in a hotel in Woodstock was laughable – I saw it as a better spot for a light mugging than lounging in leisure.

That’s all changed in the last decade or so, with sites like the Old Castle Brewery, the Old Biscuit Mill and the Woodstock Exchange all representing renewed interest in the suburb. I had plenty of time to contemplate urban renewal over a good cup of coffee as I walked out of the Woodstock Exchange and onto Albert Road in the direction of Salt River.

Galleries, repurposed furniture stores and retail collectives line this particularly trendy part of town. At the Neighbourgoods Market at the Biscuit Mill, I stuffed myself with French pizza and browsed overpriced clothing, before stopping by the recently opened taproom at brewing suppliers

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Beerguevara on my walk up towards my very own piece of Woodstock (for the night): the Upper Eastside Hotel, part of the DoubleTree by Hilton group.

The Upper Eastside is what you’d call a lifestyle centre, featuring apartments, shops, offices, an amphitheatre, and the hotel itself, which includes 183 guest rooms, 13 meeting rooms, a business centre and a small gym. It’s an interesting space, with a cavernous foyer into which the hotel’s restaurant, Liberty, spills. I’d had enough buzz for one day, so I retired to my room, which had an impressive view of the lush slopes of Devil’s Peak.

So impressive was the view, in fact, that I didn’t move from the couch for hours, except to pour successive cups of tea, which eventually evolved into glasses of wine. I was only roused from my peaceful bliss by what I thought was a motorbike idling outside, but which turned out to be only the grumbling of my stomach.

The advantage of Liberty Restaurant’s setup is that the whole place feels light and open and airy. The menu changes weekly, offering fairly standard fare served up without a side order of pretention.

I nibbled my way through a starter of Cajun-blackened calamari and prawns, before gorging myself on a perfectly seared fillet served with a black-pepper sauce, crunchy beans and crispy fries.

Being too full for dessert, but too greedy to decline, I had it sent up to my room, where I nuzzled myself back into the indentation I’d so dutifully made in the couch, Devil’s Peak watching over me as I enjoyed my part of Woodstock’s urban revival.

31 Brickfield Rd, Cape Town, 021 424 0570, doubletree3.hilton.com

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GAUTENG | GUIDE

WHAT’S ON GAUTENG WALTZING TO FREEDOM

16 September – 5 October

Theatre The multi-award-winning play The Bram Fischer Waltz is on at the Market Theatre, and tells the tale of one of South Africa’s most notable freedom-fighters. Tickets range from R85 to R166, from www.computicket.com. No children under the age of seven. For more info, visit www.markettheatre.co.za.

Please note: How many actors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Wait, don’t we have stagehands for this?

BED HEAD 4 October

Fashion show Bedford, one of Joburg’s premier fashion and shopping destinations, is hosting #BedfordProjectStyle, the ultimate accessible summer fashion show. The show will be curated and styled by London-born Sophia Branch, an international stylist for the BAFTAs, the royal family and celebrities. Check out www.bedfordcentre.com for more info.

Please note: Did you hear the one about the stylist who got lost on his way home? He couldn’t find the right a dress!

TWIDDLE YOUR THUMBS

text: roxanne jones; images: supplied

10-12 October

Gaming expo The Rage Expo at the Coca-Cola Dome brings together the best that gaming has to offer. With demos, the coolest tech on offer, comics, eSport gaming events and lecture presentations, gamers are in for a treat. Tickets are R80 for a day pass and R150 for a weekend pass; children under six enter free. Tickets can be purchased at the door or at www.computicket.com. Go to www.rageexpo.co.za for more info.

Please note: Those hoping for an anger-management seminar are gonna be real mad.

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FLOWER POWER 11-12 October

Open gardens The open day for the Garden of St Christopher in Hyde Park is on 11 October. Enjoy the blossoming flowers (and delicious snacks) to the sounds of the Johannesburg Festival Orchestra String Quartet. Following on 12 October is the garden’s family day.

Champagne, tea, lunches and Italian ice cream will be on sale.

Tickets are R200 for the open day and R50 for the family day.

For more info, visit gardenofstchristopher.com.

Please note: The only kind of plants that can grow on your face are two-lips.

JOZIBOSCH 15 October

R’S ITOICE D E O CH

Wine festival The annual Stellenbosch at Summer Place is back to tickle your tastebuds. Themed ‘Yesterday, then and now’, the festival presents 70 of South Africa’s top wines, live bands and some of the finest Stellenbosch chefs. Tickets are R500, from www.webtickets.co.za. For more info, go to www.summerplacesa.com.

Please note: A glass in the hand is worth two in the ’Bosch.

DIGGING FOR GOLD 18-19 October

Beer festival In celebration of Beer Month, Soweto presents the very first Soweto unfiltered … unplugged, on at the Ubuntu Kraal Brewery. Expect over 12 quality South African micro-breweries and cider producers. Tickets are R125-R225, from www.quicket.co.za.

Visit www.sowetogold.co.za for more info.

Please note: This is one occasion when it’s acceptable to call everyone you meet ‘brew’.

QUATRO FORMIDABLE 24-26 October (Jo’burg) 29 October (Port Elizabeth) 1 November (Paarl)

Live music She was the world’s first major female rock star, and now the legendary Suzi Quatro is performing at Emperors Palace in Jo’burg, the Boardwalk ICC in Port Elizabeth, and at the Liqui-Fruit Amphitheatre in Paarl. Tickets are R290-R690, from www.computicket.com.

Please note: How many goths does it take to change a light bulb? None; they like to sit in the dark.

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GAUTENG | GUIDE

EAT GAUTENG Sticky, licky sweets to crave ‘Feed Me Seymour’ from Little Shop of Horrors is a scary song. It contains the line ‘You know the kinda eats, the kinda red-hot treats, the kinda sticky, licky sweets, I crave’. So where to get stickylicky treats in Gauteng?

Priva Gastro Lounge

Priva Gastro lounge offers the poshest of posh nosh. There is a champagne and oyster bar, a walkin cigar humidor and luxurious cigar lounge. There are even secret entrances for the really, really rich and famous.

Pastry chef Minette Smith has created a

dessert menu full of sticky, licky sweets.

Menus change frequently, but expect the likes of panna cotta with kumquat preserve, orange meringue and passionfruit bubbles.

103 Club Ave, Waterkloof Heights, Pretoria, 012 346 4849, www.privalounge.com

The Living Room

The Living Room is located on the top floor of a tower block. The view over the city of gold is glorious. Chef Dan Michaeli makes great chocolate cupcakes and a sublime ginger beer-and-whisky cocktail for the perfect kinda sticky and licky.

20 Kruger St, Maboneng Precinct, Jo’burg, 061 402 2843, www.livingroomjozi.co.za

Magnificent macaroons

This magnificent comes from the queen of macaroons, chef Dee Seturumane of Jo’burg’s Saxon Hotel.

• 250g icing sugar • 250g ground almonds • 200g egg whites • 200g castor sugar Whisk egg whites; once they start to foam, slowly add castor sugar. Beat to form a stiff meringue. Sift icing sugar and almonds together; fold into the meringue. Add colouring. Pipe macaroons onto a flat tray covered with baking paper. Each should be about 2cm across. Let unbaked macaroons dry for an hour. They’ll keep their shape in the oven only if a skin has formed over the macaroon. Bake at 140˚C for 15 minutes.

Sandwich together with butter icing.

text: anna trapido, lize hartley; pictures: supplied

DRESS GAUTENG 1) Oppikoppi is the ultimate in South African festivals. If you can survive this one, you can get through anything. It’s massive, boasting a line-up of carefully selected local and international acts, a truly South African landscape that makes for killer views when the sun is coming up, and the legendary status of running for 20 years. But it also comes with scorching heat during the day, nearfreezing temperatures at night, and dust.

More dust than you could ever fathom.

The trick is not to wear anything white, and protect your legs, because there are thorns everywhere. You’ll be grateful for these Levi’s high-tops. R379, also available on www.zando.co.za.

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2) You’ll need something to cover your nose and mouth when things get even dustier. Opt for a snood (not in white!) that can double up as a scarf at night and a buff by day. Don’t buy expensive, either, because it will only hurt you.

R180 from Jen Wynne, available on Hellopretty.co.za.

3) Embrace your grungy rock ’n roll side with key accessories like this leather belt with a subtle chain trim.

R220, Woolworths.

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Johannesburg’s Alternative Airport Lanseria International Airport is Gauteng’s only privately owned international Airport. Commercial airlines, charter companies, and many other service providers, call it home.

It’s conveniently positioned north of Johannesburg, close to the business hub Sandton, as well as Pretoria, Midrand, Krugersdorp and surrounds.

World class airport facilities: • • • • • • •

Spacious airport building servicing Domestic and International flights Self service check in kiosks Ample parking and Fast Drop ‘n Go Facilities Quick baggage collection Daily domestic flights on offer between Johannesburg and Cape Town, and Johannesburg and Durban One-of-a-kind open air viewing deck that overlooks the runway Close proximity to hotels and B&B’s and many tourist attractions

world class facilities on offer, shouldn’t you be considering Lanseria International Airport?

With all these

Tel: 011 367 0300

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GAUTENG | GUIDE

SLEEP GAUTENG A PICTURE PAINTS A THOUSAND WORDS A stay at the Da Vinci Hotel & Suites in Sandton must have been what gave Mona Lisa her satisfied smile.

Trevor Crighton gives the lowdown in broad brush strokes.

pictures: supplied

THE DA VINCI HOTEL & SUITES is a major artery to the beating heart of ‘Africa’s richest square mile’ in Sandton. Impossibly stylish and equipped to the teeth with just about every facility you could possibly want from a hotel, the hotel capitalises on its location with a link to Sandton City and Legacy Corner’s endless shopping opportunities, proximity to the Gautrain station and the bustle of Mandela Square.

I’m happy with a hotel room if the bed is comfortable and the shower delivers hot water at great pressure – but the rooms at the Da Vinci go way beyond that. The Executive King Room has a lounge area with a comfy couch, a Nespresso machine, two flat-screen televisions and enough lighting options to stage a rock concert. Views out over the industrial rooftop of Sandton City aren’t terribly glamorous, but the room’s slick decor and amenities more than make up for that.

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If you judge a hotel room by the bed, then you judge a hotel spa by the quality of its hot-stone massage. Too often you find yourself spending an hour either being mindlessly prodded with lukewarm pebbles or relentlessly pummeled with thermonuclear eight-balls. If the hot stone treatment is anything to go by, any experience at the serene Da Vinci Spa is going to be a winner.

Linked to the spa is also the bestequipped hotel gym you’ll ever see, with every conceivable muscle-toning gadget and personal trainers on hand, in case a day of shopping didn’t get your heart racing enough.

Meals are served at the Maximillien Restaurant, which offers great twists on local favourites and a staggering wine list awash with award-winners from South Africa, France, Spain, Chile, Italy, New Zealand and Portugal. Kudu casserole and a glass of SA’s finest for dinner, with a sublime ‘Hazelnut Trio’ of panna cotta, meringue and ice cream for dessert, is a great way to cap a day of luxury.

The breakfast buffet ticks all of the boxes, too, including Sandton’s best cup of coffee. Lighter meals are on hand at the 24-hour Da Vinci Lounge in the lobby, along with a dangerously well-stocked bar of excellent whiskies and wines.

Room rates start at R2 380 for a Standard King Room, with three-room suites with kitchens topping out the accommodation options.

Corner Maude and 5th streets, Sandton, 011 292 7000, www.davincihotel.co.za

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KWAZULU-NATAL | GUIDE

WHAT’S ON KZN PROST!

4-5 October

R’S ITOICE D E O CH

Beer festival The Pecanwood Oktober Fest, on in the KZN Midlands, is back. Our cover star Jeremy Loops will be performing alongside other top South African acts such as Veranda Panda, Amigo Santana and RLS. Expect beer-tasting, tournament games, a variety of cuisines and a beer pong competition where you can win a trip to the original Oktoberfest in Munich. Tickets are R150, from www.computicket.com. Visit www.oktoberfestkzn.co.za for more info.

Please note: Beer doesn’t have many vitamins – that’s why you have to drink lots of it.

THE CYCLE CONTINUES 11-12 October

Cycle race The Tsogo Sun Amashova Durban Classic runs from Pietermaritzburg to Durban, and includes a 35km fun ride, 65km half-challenge and 106km classic race.

This year also sees the reintroduction of the 1km and 5km Minishova for little ones, along the Durban beachfront. For more info, go to shova.co.za.

Please note: My uncle works for a company that makes bicycle wheels.

He’s the spokesman.

SUMMER LOVING

text: roxanne jones; images: supplied

19 October

Live music This month’s Old Mutual Music at the Lake series concert at the Durban Botanic Gardens offers a relaxing and entertaining day. Bring along your picnic basket and enjoy some of South Africa’s top acts, such as Matthew Mole, Monark and Hot Water. Children can enjoy the KidZone. Tickets are R130 presold, R160 at the gate, R50 for kids aged eight to 12, and under-eights are free. Tickets available from www.webtickets.co.za.

For more info, go to www.musicatthelake.co.za.

Please note: What do trees and dogs have in common? They both have lots of bark!

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GOOD ENOUGH TO EAT 24-26 October

Culinary festival The Good Food and Wine Show, being held at the Durban Exhibition Centre, features a variety of mouthwatering food and wine. Attractions include food prepared by celebrity chefs including Hayden Quinn, a nutrition theatre, a wine avenue, bar, tools for cooks, and much more. Come prepared to find everything that the world of food and wine has to offer. Tickets are R80 for adults and R40 for children, from www.computicket.com. For more info, go to www.goodfoodandwineshow.co.za.

Please note: People who eat too much lamb are likely to be accused of muttony.

TRICK AND TREAT 25-26 October

Halloween party Wondering what to do with the little ones this Halloween? Head over to uShaka Marine World for its 10th birthday and Halloween celebration.

Highlights include a bewitching dolphin show, trick or treat around Village Walk, and a scary aquarium tour. Expect colourful Halloween characters, amazing giveaways and dress-up competitions.

Tickets are available at the uShaka Marine World box office and from www.computicket.com. Check out www.ushakamarineworld. co.za for more info.

Please note: What’s the most popular dance at Halloween parties? The boogie, man!

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KWAZULU-NATAL | GUIDE

Down the chip shop

Kirsty MacColl’s great culinary classic song ‘There’s a Guy Works Down the Chip Shop Swears He’s Elvis’ contains the line ‘But he’s a liar and I’m not sure about you’.

So where to find chips that you can be sure of in KZN?

Captain Fine’s Fish Factory

Grant Macquet is much nicer than the man in the song and he’s never claimed to be Elvis. He serves proper, old-fashioned fish and chips. High-quality, flaky white fish are enrobed in a thin, bouffant, crispy batter. The fat, freshly fried chips are served hot enough to melt the salt and drink up lashings of vinegar. Diners sit at wooden picnic tables and there are climbing frames for kids. Grant is also

EAT KZN

super-knowledgeable and conscientious about adhering to the SASSI green list.

Home and Décor Centre, Douglas Crowe Dr, Ballito, 032 946 3933

Interview with Shaun Monro, executive chef at Jichana Grill

of life without them – especially in a grill/ steakhouse operation like ours. Of course it is important to have alternatives, but we should never, ever forget that steak and chips is a great classic combination.

‘If guests want steamed veg or braised spinach with garlic cream, or a rocket, fresh tomato and red onion salad with pomegranate dressing, it’s available, but home-made wedge bafana potato chips and shoestring fries take pride of place.’

Southern Sun Elangeni Hotel, 63 Snell Parade, Durban, 031 362 1300, www.tsogosun.com

In a world of low-carb everything, it’s rare to find a posh-nosh chef who gives chips the love and respect they deserve. Thankfully, Shaun Monro at Durban’s Jichana Grill is a delicious exception to the rule.

He says: ‘In terms of a balanced meal experience, I believe that there needs to be a starch option, and potatoes are so great that it would be dreadful to think

text: anna trapido, lize hartley; pictures: supplied

DRESS KZN 1) If you’re planning on heading to the mountains for Splashy Fen, you should prepare for a wet, muddy time.

Gumboots are an absolute must, but while the old-fashioned green kind from your local farmer’s supply store will save you bucks, they’re not exactly the epitome of style. There’s only one place to go for gumboots and that’s Hunter. If it’s good enough for Kate Middleton, it’s good enough for Splashy! R1 698, also available on Spree.co.za.

2) Make-up probably isn’t high on your priority list at a festival, but you might still want to spruce up a bit in the morning. If you’re wearing mascara, treat it as your wedding day: waterproof is a must! Try Stila’s All Day Waterproof Mascara in Black. R195, also available on Rubybox.co.za.

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3) Whether it’s for the cooler temperatures at night or a full weekend of uncooperative weather, a lightweight knitted beanie is sure to come in handy. Not only will it keep your ears covered, it’s also a great way to hide unsightly festival hair which, let’s face it, is unavoidable.

R60, Woolworths.

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KWAZULU-NATAL | GUIDE

SLEEP KZN SAFE HARBOUR Will Edgcumbe drops anchor at Durban’s Docklands Hotel.

pictures: supplied

DURBAN’S POINT WATERFRONT area has been slowly developing for the last 10 or 15 years. At one time it was the city’s property boom area, with every scrap of land being fought over tooth and nail by developers. A few years later and the Point has become a weird mix of luxury apartment blocks, a stalled development or two, small businesses, the odd restaurant and vacant plots. But it’s developed a charming vibe nevertheless; much of the old industrial and colonial architecture remains, the streets are clean, and it’s fairly quiet considering it sits between the ocean and an extremely busy port.

Docklands Hotel is located towards the harbour mouth end of the Point, and in a way it’s representative of the area – a modern, trendy building incorporating historical walls and original features. The hotel’s road frontage has maintained the original façade, and the parking area is ringed by the front walls of the buildings that used to stand there. With its screed floors, muted colours and the odd exposed truss and section of face brick, it’s a thoroughly modern, urban space with an edgy vibe. And yet it’s not cold and imposing like some industrial buildings can be; the odd spray-painted mural adds a bit of fun, and the comfortable finishes and bright central courtyard give it a friendly air.

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The 83 air-conditioned rooms are comfortable but understated, with views over the courtyard, harbour entrance, ocean and harbour proper, and are kitted with king-sized or twin beds, Egyptian cotton linen, a safe, DStv and Wi-Fi. Also on site are three conference and banqueting venues catering for up to 400 guests.

You can dine al fresco in the central courtyard, and the on-site restaurant, Wodka, has quickly become a popular eatery. The food is mostly contemporary fusion with an Asian influence, but the menu is varied enough to please most tastes. The smoked pork belly (which comes with toasted almond marshmallows – you read that right) is popular, as is the chicken-and-prawn curry. Wake up hungry, because their buffet breakfast is fantastic, and if you’re around during the day check out the light meal menu, including their home-made lamb burger.

Though Docklands isn’t on the beachfront, Addington and uShaka beaches are a short walk away, as is uShaka Marine World with its water slides, aquarium, shops and restaurants.

There’s also a small reef off the beach if you’re keen on snorkelling, and a local dive operator offers courses and shore-entry dives there as well. If you go for a walk in the area, head to the canals, which have been stocked with a few juvenile hammerhead sharks until they’re old (and big) enough to be introduced into uShaka Marine World’s reef predator exhibit.

40 Mahatma Gandhi Road, Point Waterfront, 031 332 8190, www.threecities.co.za

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GARDEN ROUTE | GUIDE

WHAT’S ON GARDEN ROUTE KEEPING ABREAST Throughout October

Awareness month In support of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, the Radiological Society of South Africa (RSSA) is highlighting the importance of good breast health. All participating members of the RSSA are offering a 10% discount on mammograms and breast MRIs. For more info, visit www.rssa.co.za.

Please note: Don’t forget to wear your pink ribbon in celebration of Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

WOODEN WORKS 9-11 October

Wood festival Following on from Arbor Month, the Working with Wood Festival is a threeday event taking place at the Timber Village in Welbedacht Lane in Knysna. There will be a variety of products made from indigenous and recycled wood, wood demonstrations and food stalls to tickle your tastebuds. Visit www.workingwithwood.co.za.

Please note: How do trees access the internet? They log in!

DI-VINE 11 October

text: roxanne jones; images: supplied

Wine festival The Elim Wine and Food Celebration, on at the Black Oystercatcher, showcases exceptional wines from eight Cape South Coast wineries, and artisanal beer. The festival will include cycling, a trail run, fresh-produce stalls and live music. Tickets are R75 for persons over 18, from www.webtickets.com. For more info, check out elimwines.co.za.

Please note: Wine doesn’t make you fat; it makes you lean (against things).

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FOR THE RUN OF IT 11 October

Marathon Get your running shoes ready and start training for the annual Meiringspoort Marathon, which takes runners along farm roads through the scenic countryside around Meiringspoort. Enjoy a healthy, fun day with the family, with a chance to win fabulous prizes. Entry is R85 for the 21.1km and R65 for the 10km. Go to www.meiringspoort21.co.za for more info.

Please note: How do crazy runners go through the forest? They take the psycho path.

BANDANA OF BROTHERS

12 October

’S OR E T I ED OIC CH

Fundraising day Support the Sunflower Fund National Bandana Day by purchasing bandanas from your nearest Pick n Pay or local Round Table nationwide (including Namibia). For only R25, you can make a difference and offer patients diagnosed with life-threatening blood disorders such as leukaemia the chance of a future.

Please note: If you’re stuck at the beach without a swimming costume, a bandana or two can make a world of difference…

FLYING HIGH 25 October

Air show On at the SA Air Force Museum, the 18th annual Baywest Port Elizabeth Air Show is back and ready to blow your mind.

Expect jaw-dropping stunts from both national and international pilots. To top off this amazing experience, world-renowned aerobatic pilot Philipp Steinbach will be displaying some of his top stunts. All proceeds of the event go towards the MTR Smit Children’s Haven. For more info, contact 041 373 4100 or 084 250 2932.

Please note: Ducks don’t tell jokes while flying in case they quack up.

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GUIDE | GARDEN ROUTE

EAT GARDEN ROUTE Kwaito star Arthur Mafokate swears that his song ‘Sika Lekhekhe’ (‘Cut the Cake’) is about baked goods, although there are others who point out that in tsotsi taal, ikhekhe (literally cake) refers to women’s genitalia and ukusika (literally the verb to cut) refers to having sex. So where would be good spots to sika lekhekhe – eat cake, that is – on the Garden Route?

Pembrey’s

Peter and Viv Vadas offer hearty, unpretentious, relaxed country cooking and cocktails galore. Those who fancy cake should turn their attention to the very fine dessert menu, which features the likes of lemon and lavender fruit tarts, and superb chocolate cake (served with caramel ice cream).

Brenton Rd, Belvidere, Knysna, 044 386 0005, www.pembreys.co.za

Freshline Fisheries

The Knysna Fish Factory Shop has an attached, casual, SASSIcompliant and child-friendly fish restaurant under a marquee next to the original shop. Diners select a fish, the fishmonger cuts a portion and hands it to the chef, who grills or fries to order. Fish cakes, mussels in cream sauce, paella and a pull-out-all-thestops seafood platter are also on offer.

Service is super-slow, which would be a bad thing, except that the manager often steps in and offers slices of cake as an apology.

Railway Siding Dockyard, behind Tait Marine, 044 382 3131, www.freshlinefisheriesknysna.co.za

DRESS GARDEN ROUTE 1) While the Garden Route might not have one big music festival that stands out, there are plenty to choose from throughout the year. From the National Arts Festival in Grahamstown to smaller festivals such as the Richmond Street Music Festival, you won’t be left wanting.

Thankfully, the (mostly) more civilised nature of these festivals means you don’t have to pack for the apocalypse. An easy-to-wear summer dress is perfect, as it can be layered for all manner of weather conditions, and it’s sure to keep you comfortable all day. Try a pretty coral version like this one. R180, Woolworths.

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2) You don’t want to bother with a lengthy make-up routine, but you do want to look your best with minimal effort. Opt for Bourjois’s CC Cream. The colourcorrecting formula will give you an even complexion with medium coverage, and soothe any redness. It’s also SPF 15.

R160, also available from Rubybox.co.za.

3) The classic denim jacket will never be more useful to you than at a music festival.

The sturdy fabric means you won’t need to worry about its getting damaged and it will keep you warm at night. It also goes with everything! R999 from Wrangler, also available on Spree.co.za.

Ile de Pain’s blueberry pancake recipe • • • • • • • • •

1½ cups cake flour 3 tsp white sugar ¾ Tbsp baking powder ½ tsp bicarbonate of soda 1 tsp salt 1 cup buttermilk ½ cup milk 2 eggs 1½ Tbsp melted butter, plus extra for frying • 1 cup blueberries Combine dry ingredients in a mixing bowl and wet ingredients in another. Make a well in the centre of the dry mix and pour in the wet mixture. Stir to combine. Heat a frying pan over medium heat and add butter. Use three tablespoons of batter for each pancake. Top with a few blueberries and cook over medium heat for a minute or two. Bubbles will appear when they’re ready to turn. Cook until golden brown.

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text: anna trapido, lize hartley; pictures: supplied

Have your cake

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GARDEN ROUTE | GUIDE

SLEEP GARDEN ROUTE RETURN TO THE BLUE LAGOON Seth Wood finds enchantment at the edge of an unfamiliar city.

pictures: supplied

DAWN’S SKY HAD barely been cracked open by a steadily growing sliver of burnt orange, and I found myself standing on a pale-white beach alongside teenaged surfers preparing to pit their fortunes against Nahoon Reef’s famous breaks.

‘Looks fierce,’ I mumbled.

‘Yup,’ they agreed and, to prove the point, grabbed their boards, trotted into the water and fearlessly paddled out. Soon I was watching some of the best wave action I’d seen in years. The mounting adrenaline rush was a far cry from the kind of lounging around the pool I’d planned when I checked into the respectable Blue Lagoon Hotel overlooking the Nahoon River mouth, here on the fringes of placid little East London.

They’d said it was a pleasant business hotel with quaint views, intermingled with lots of greenery. But it was full of surprises – set in some kind of riverside paradise, surrounded by jungly subtropical coastal vegetation, all part of a nature reserve protecting Africa’s most southerly mangrove forest. A little path through the lush growth led from the hotel down to the lagoon, making access to the lovely, unspoiled beach effortless.

Later in the day, having spent some time splashing about in the warm water, I discovered a boardwalk through the

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reserve, set up to protect the fragile dunes. The air around me was alive with birdlife – someone pointed out Terek sandpipers and a Knysna warbler, apparently both quite special. I also learnt that it was here, in a now-collapsed cave, that the famed Nahoon Footprints were discovered. Among the preserved imprints are those of a small human child, apparently made 124 000 years ago.

The extent of preserved natural environment reminded me of the small industrial city’s proximity to the raw, untamed miracle of the Wild Coast. Seen from the lagoon and the beach, the resort was engulfed by surrounding greenery.

The city centre was only 10 minutes away, and yet the sense of remoteness was astonishing.

But there were other souls about.

Before dinner, a small crowd gathered to sip cocktails in the bar as we watched the lagoon’s waters catch the setting sun. After we’d eaten, drinks in the pub turned very sociable, as deal-making businessmen returned from long days in the hotel’s conference rooms and set about squandering their expense accounts.

When I ran out of conversation, I escaped to my suite overlooking the lagoon and watched the moonlight dance off the water’s surface while the ocean roared its soothing soundtrack, eventually coaxing me into a deep slumber filled with dreams of the next morning’s encounter with East London’s dauntless surf-riding warriors.

PS: Reserve a suite with a balcony and view of the Nahoon River. There’s a dedicated floor for solo lady travellers, too.

East London, 043 748 4821, www.bluelagoonhotel.co.za

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BEAUTY | GUIDE

Rock the look

When it comes to festivals, beauty and grooming may not be high on your agenda. But that doesn’t mean you have to look like the inside of a Porta Loo (after the second day) either!

Lize Hartley rounds up a few products that are easy to use, but get the job done.

pictures: supplied

(Clockwise from top left) Most important: sunscreen. Being outdoors all day means you’re at serious risk of getting burnt, and nothing ruins the party quite like being bright-red and in pain. Try BioDerma’s Photoderm SPF30. Added bonus: it’s waterproof. R200, available on Rubybox.co.za.

While convincing a man to use grooming products at a festival seems nigh on impossible, a five-in-one product might just be sellable. This L’Occitane moisturiser will hydrate your festivalbattered skin, protect it from irritation, soothe dryness and sensitivity, keep it firm, and fight signs of ageing. R680, available on Spree.co.za.

The key to easy beauty is multi-purpose products. Apply Nuxe Huile Prodigieuse to the ends of your hair for extra shine, or to chest and arms for gorgeous summer skin. R210, available on Rubybox.co.za.

If ever you wanted to play with bright, colourful make-up, festivals are the perfect playground.

Stila’s Waterproof Stay-All-Day Liquid Eyeliner is waterproof and comes in emerald, indigo, pink, and more. R225, available on Spree.co.za.

You don’t want to spend your precious fun time struggling with brushes and blenders. Opt for easy-to-apply products such as Stila’s Stay All Day 10-in-1 Bronzing Balm. It’s SPF30, and gives skin a healthy glow. R445, available at Woolworths.

Don’t be afraid to try mascara that isn’t black or brown! Dr Hauschka’s blue mascara is interesting, but subtle, and will make eyes pop. R332, available at Woolworths.

There’s nothing worse than dirty nails, but they’re bound to get gritty no matter what. Paint them before you go, and don’t be afraid to play with colour. TOY’s Verdeazul is the perfect party hue.

R130, available from TurquoiseStudio.co.za.

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www.fishgate.co.za_CT_4581

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Pump up the (alcohol by) volume To rock and roll you need vigour and vim. Ingrid Graham checks out the power supply.

pictures: supplied

ROCK! IT MEANS different things to different people. For some, ‘Let’s meet on the highway and hurl rocks at oncoming traffic’; for others, ‘Let’s go jump around and head-bang to thumping noises all night long.’

And for the latter you need energy.

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Hunter’s eXtreme Energy spikes the power! This apple-based ale enriched with guarana, taurine and caffeine, according to the marketers offers a stimulating and refreshing boost when you’re flagging. Caffeine we know, but what are guarana and taurine? Guarana contains caffeine which stimulates the central nervous system, increases alertness and decreases mental fatigue.

Apparently, South American tribes believed the plant to be magical, a cure for bowel complaints and a remedy to regain strength. Taurine (originally extracted from bull’s bile) is reputed to have many therapeutic applications including treatment for alcoholism. It’s a common ingredient in energy drinks and bodybuilding supplements.

If apple’s not your ale then try Smirnoff Ice Double Black with Guarana, a stylish spirit cooler blending Smirnoff and soda, in a 250ml slim-line can. ‘It’s ideal for those unexpected and extraordinary evenings when you absolutely can’t miss out on anything,’ so they say.

A label that incites good times is 4th Street pétillant wines. It has the tag Fresh and naturally sweet, a perfect fit for upbeat, sociable times when people meet to share good times. Enjoy the slight sparkle of white, red or rosé in handy 300ml with a punch of only 6.5% ABV You like fruit? Then Brutal Fruit alcoholic fruit blends in exotic flavours of Lavascious Lemon, Apple Ginger, Sultry Strawberry, Passion Peach and Mango Goji should get your party swinging.

Camping among the daisies? Then why not share the warmth of Sedgewick’s Old Brown Brown? Since 1916 SOB has been the happy camper’s companion. If things get really hot, SOB and ginger ale or lemonade with plenty ice makes a supereasy, delicious camper’s cocktail.

There’re restrictions on taking alcohol into venues, so it’s hysterical to hear the ingenious ways people get their beverages passed security. A light frisk before allowing the heaving throngs in means carefully concealed sachets emerge intact from buxom boobs. Or sometimes not! Like the time a boob wire barbed a well packed cleavage.

Chanel No5 and cheap whisky – not a good fragrance.

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WATCH | GUIDE

Watch this…

text: anthony sharpe; pictures: supplied

OCULUS

DRACULA UNTOLD

SNOWPIERCER

Release date: 17 October

ANNABELLE

OCULUS

Release date: 3 October What better way to begin the month of horror than with an update of one of the most famous monsters of all time?

Dracula Untold stars Luke Evans as Vlad the Impaler, and is set in Romania during the Turkish invasion, as Vlad leads his army to see off their attackers. However, when circumstances lead to him losing his soul, his real destiny is realised as a doomed creature of the night.

The film is intended by Universal Studios to herald a reboot of their monstermovie franchises, which are apparently to be turned into an interlinked universe, Avengers-style. Whether or not this is a horrific idea remains to be seen. Either way, it looks like a guilty pleasure.

Anticipatometer: ■ ■ ■

A horror film of a different sort, this Korean-American production – the Englishlanguage debut of celebrated Korean director Bong Joon-Ho – is set in a world devastated by a new ice age, where all of humanity survives on the Snowpiercer, a train that runs on a track around the world powered by a perpetual-motion engine.

The train is segmented according to class, with the lower classes doomed to spend their days living in squalor in the tail. Chris Evans stars as Curtis, born in the tail, who leads an uprising to get to the front of the train, taking him on a surreal, violent and nightmarish journey with obvious allegorical overtones.

It’s received almost universal critical acclaim.

Anticipatometer: ■ ■ ■ ■ ■

John Form finds the perfect gift for his expectant wife, Mia – a beautiful, rare vintage doll in a pure white wedding dress. On one horrific night, their home is invaded by members of a satanic cult, who violently attack the couple. Spilled blood and terror are not all they leave behind. The cultists have conjured an entity so malevolent that nothing they did will compare to the sinister conduit to the damned that is now Annabelle.

It’s a spin-off of producer James Wan’s The Conjuring, sure, and thus probably nowhere near that film’s standard, but its progenitor was just so damned scary that it’s impossible to ignore this film.

Anticipatometer: ■ ■

Ten years ago, Tim and Kaylie Russell’s parents were brutally murdered; Tim was charged with their deaths and convicted. Tim (Brenton Thwaites), now in his 20s, is released from a mental institution and just wants to move on with his life; but his sister Kaylie (Karen Gillan) wants to clear his name.

She’s convinced the Lasser Glass, an antique mirror in their childhood home, unleashed a malevolent supernatural force that killed their parents.

Don’t let the fact that it’s from WWE Studios put you off. In fact, forget that we just told you Oculus is produced by WWE Studios.

This is a tight, scary film that emphasises tension over gore.

Anticipatometer: ■ ■ ■ ■

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ANNABELLE

SNOWPIERCER

DRACULA UNTOLD

Count down to Halloween with this month’s crop of blood-curdling cinematic releases.

Release date: 24 October

Release date: 31 October

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GUIDE | LISTEN

Sound advice Claire Martens gets angsty, electronic and just plain weird this Rocktober.

The Hunting Party Warner Bros Anyone under 40 would have heard at least one Linkin Park album and, depending on which one it happened to be, either loved it or hated it. While clearly a rock band, their tendency to experiment with the sound of the day has resulted in very good albums – and some mediocre ones. On this, their sixth studio album, they have retreated to the safety of their hiphop-infused, hard-rock sound, and what a relief it is.

The Hunting Party is a typically good Linkin Park effort, but perhaps a little outdated. While a hardcore sound predominates, there is a certain unrestricted complexity to the music.

It is also wholeheartedly listenable, music that catches your ear and draws you in.

Linkin Park has always been able to produce a popular sound, but with so many bands to choose from and with changing tastes in music influencing sales, the question is, has Linkin Park become redundant? You decide.

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Bye Beneco Space Elephant Just Music Johannesburg-based Bye Beneco is a quirky addition to the local industry and not to be taken lightly. They use the simplicity of folk music as a base on which they add an array of influences – from Bollywood to gypsies, the circus and anything in-between. Using every percussive instrument imaginable, the band creates a sound that is untamed and idiosyncratic, if a little spacey.

Despite being nicely restrained within the strictures of rock, Space Elephant lacks a cohesive and adhesive quality.

Luckily, Bye Beneco is one of few bands I know that use vocals fiercely and with great effect, and if you listen closely, the stories they tell are sincere. In fact, their lyrics are surprisingly poetic and filled with wisdom.

Not since South Africa’s Boo have I had such a far-out experience of an album that is as much sciencefiction as it is non-fiction. They have the creativity; now they need the songwriting ability.

deadmau5 While(1<2) Astralwerks Joel Zimmerman, better known as deadmau5, is possibly the most celebrated house producer in the world, and the most famous Zimmerman since Bob Dylan (aka Robert Zimmerman).

Yet opinions on his music sit on opposite ends of the spectrum, with reviewers divided on every album.

If you’re a fan of house music generally, of deadmau5 specifically, this impressive 25-track album has some tantalising songs that won’t let you down. If nothing else, the album is richly diverse, with heavy doses of electronica blended with alternative fixes. I found it repetitive and odd at times, preferring tracks with vocals and the smattering of shorter songs, although I can see the elegance of his capabilities.

While Nine Inch Nails and Daft Punk remain his obvious influences, don’t be fooled into thinking this album will get your blood pumping. While(1<2) is a subliminal backing track more than anything; a bit too grey around the edges.

pictures: supplied

Linkin Park

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Fighting the

Foo’d fight

The Foo Fighters need little introduction. But in case you didn’t know, they’ve sold 11.1-million albums, been inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, and now they’re coming to South Africa in December as part of their Sonic Highways tour. Gary Cool chats to bassist Nate Mendel and drummer Taylor Hawkins about punk clubs, production and planes full of screaming kids.

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Nate, Taylor, I am the envy of many South Africans back home, as I get to interview you. Your South African fans are so excited to finally have you guys visit our country and play for them. Are you excited?

Nate Mendel: Yeah, I can’t wait to go.

I’ve heard a lot about South Africa.

Are you going to watch any local bands while you’re there? Do you do that when you travel?

NM: Sometimes you’re not the most excited to go to shows when you are on tour, but sometimes on days off we will go to see bands.

Taylor Hawkins: If something really special is going on – like when we were in Nashville recording that song for [Sonic Highways]. Our hotel was right next door to this little club called The End and we went there every night. They had local hardcore punk-rock and rock ’n roll bands playing every night – five bands a night. It was the best. And a lot of folks knew who we were too.

Do you think being there intimidated the bands?

TH: No! I think a lot of them were looking at us like, ‘Pfft, old crusty bastards, what are you doing here?’

NM: ‘Yeah, beat it.’

TH: ‘Beat it, old men. What are you doing in our little cool punk-rock club?’

When Dave [Grohl] came to you with the concept for Sonic Highways, what did you guys think? He’s basically written an album based on other musicians’ experiences and not his own.

NM: I was a little bit sceptical about [writing an album based on other people’s

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experiences in each city], how it was going to work lyrically, because that is a huge stretch. I was worried it was going to be plagiarism. But, honestly, I think it really worked out well. Lyrics are supposed to be about something personal, like ‘I felt this’, not ‘I heard this’, but it does fit into a cohesive story; we’re living in these cities.

There’s a documentary [called Sound City] being produced about why this studio exists, what the local music scene is – musicians’ experiences, how they got from place to place, and Dave is there hearing these stories, and then he is able to cobble that together into something that does mean something personal to him, while telling a story.

Do you ever think Sound City and the way you are recording now has impacted on other rock bands in the way they’re choosing to record albums? In South Africa there’s a producer by the name of Theo Crous who’s recording some of the best bands in the country on tape, and I’m sure that’s due largely to Sound City.

NM: Maybe, but I think it is a zeitgeist thing, that Pro Tools is like synthesisers in the 80s – drums, bass, guitars; everything will be [synthesisers], and you get excited about it, and then the pendulum swings too far and it always comes back.

TH: Everything gets overdone. In 1981 you wanted your snare sound to go ‘bah!’ and it sounded like a Def Leppard song;

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other records, but I don’t like the way it was made. I don’t like the way that producer works.

pictures: steve gullick, ringo

I don’t care if you record on Pro Tools or a tape machine, but when it’s used to try to make a band that’s not very good sound good, then that’s dishonest it didn’t even sound like a drum. By the end of the ’80s, that’s why bands like Nirvana started, because people wanted to get back to real-sounding music, not this overblown rubbish. I don’t care if you record on Pro Tools or a tape machine, but when it’s used to try to make a band that’s not very good sound good, then that’s dishonest.

NM: That I could totally see happening, because the medium is not really that important; it’s about how you do it.

They can make a computer sound like a tape now.

TH: I remember making Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace, and look, I think there are a couple of great songs on the album; it was as good as any of our

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Did the whole band feel that way about it?

TH: After it, yes. I think that Wasting Light is a reaction to that. It was like, ‘Okay, cool, that’s what we sound like perfectly in time and perfectly pitched.’

I would rather bust my ass as hard as I could and play it a million times and get it as good as I humanly, possibly could. I’ll take that over some bull-dust perfection that doesn’t really exist.

I mean, I even heard Linkin Park made their record on tape.

Metallica used a pseudonym for a show last year, calling themselves Dehaan. You guys have done a similar thing, calling yourselves The Holy Sh*ts for your secret shows in the UK. Who came up with that name?

TH: I did. We always kinda come up with good names for bands. I have a cover band called Chevy Metal, my little side-project was called The Birds Of Satan, and the first band that I had was called the Coat-tail Riders, because I’m obviously coat-tail-riding the fact that I am in the flipping Foo Fighters. It’s the only reason anybody will ever listen to my damn music.

So I always come up with stupid little names and I think I just said that to Dave once: ‘We should call ourselves The Holy Sh*ts; that’s a great punk-rock band name,’ and we all decided to use it.

Let’s quickly chat about your South African gig. Any chance of secret shows there?

TH: There is always a chance. I don’t know exactly what our schedule is, but I do know that if there is a chance, and there may be, then maybe we will.

How is it bringing your kids and family on tour with you?

NM: We’ve done it twice and I think we are going to do it next year – play a bunch of festivals in Europe and rent a plane and bring all the families with us. The two times we have done it have been the best touring for me. I think it’s the most fun I’ve ever had.

TH: It’s tiring and beautiful, superbeautiful, all at the same time. I mean, at one point I’ll be playing at a stadium, in front of 70 000 people somewhere in Germany at a festival, and behind me is a romper room, the kids’ area, and there are literally 12 kids sitting behind me, holding my drumsticks. And there will be Nate’s kid, Dave’s kids, my kids and [Chris] Shiflett’s kids all sitting there and hanging out, getting along.

The plane is mayhem, because we rent this big jumbo jet, and there are just kids running around everywhere, and there’s candy and chocolate all over everybody’s faces. It’s great.

Supersonic

The Foo Fighters’ eighth studio album, Sonic Highways, is set for worldwide release on 10 November, while their documentary of the same name will launch in October. Dave Grohl has described the project as ‘a love letter to the history of American music’.

Foo for you

Catch The Foo Fighters at the Cape Town Stadium on 10 December and at the FNB Stadium in Jo’burg on 13 December.

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Beating around the berg Far from throwing TVs out of hotel windows, the boys of Beatenberg – Ross Dorkin (bass), Robin Brink (drums) and Matthew Field (lead singer and guitar) – are three nice, terribly sincere guys who are very serious about making intelligent, contemplative pop music. Anthony Sharpe chats to the lads about their debut album, The Hanging Gardens of Beatenberg.

picture: ross garrett

Tell me a little about the concept behind The Hanging Gardens of Beatenberg.

Matthew Field: Obviously it’s a reference to the Hanging Gardens of Babylon. I started with the name, without thinking too much about it, and worked backwards from there, with the songs that we already had. Then the songs that we wrote from there expanded on that idea. It’s kind of a comparison between the ancient, probably mythical, gardens and modern suburbia.

Suburbia seems to be a theme that runs throughout the album. Is it intended as a deconstruction of white middle-class youth?

MF: There’s definitely an ambiguous feeling to the album; it’s part celebration, part indictment. But I wasn’t necessarily trying to impart any particular message; my initial impulse came from a fondness for lush gardens, and from driving through

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the southern suburbs every day and reflecting on how beautiful it is.

This is a pop album. Did you guys distinctly set out to be a pop band?

Ross Dorkin: Absolutely. A lot of our interests are quite fringe, and pop is an interesting way to relate those influences back to the world. Calling ourselves pop is also kind of a challenge to the pop industry. We all see pop as an interesting discipline in terms of its constraints – we don’t see those as necessitating sacrifice or compromise.

MF: Pop culture has been well documented and studied from an intellectual standpoint, but it hasn’t really responded to that. Like any of the other serious art forms, pop music can be done on intellectual terms.

What are your feelings on the stage of the local music scene?

RD: The hip-hop scene is amazing at

the moment. We can see immediately that it’s very good, of an international standard. A big passion of ours for a while has been local house, because I think that’s one of our highest-quality exports.

In the last three or four years, house has become such a huge part of the pop landscape. With guys like Black Coffee, DJ Clock, Professor, DJ Fisherman, there’s a huge amount of music that is distinctly South African and unique in terms of the global market.

Does that represent the direction you want to take with your music?

Robin Brink: We started out with this soft, acoustic sound – what people call folk. It was very restrained. At some point, we had this revelation that if we wanted to get out there, we needed to make music that makes people dance.

Keep up with the boys via beatenberg.net. ■

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Parodyxically speaking After a string of popular parody music videos, Derick Watts & the Sunday Blues caused a serious stir with their latest, rather … flatulent parody of a certain buxom pop star. Claire Martens chats to Nic Smal and Gareth Allison about SA’s answer to Flight of the Conchords.

pictures: supplied

It was recently your third birthday.

What would be your ultimate birthday present?

Gareth Allison: A date with Katy Perry.

First I’d pick her up in a Bantam bakkie (borrowed from a bouncer, of course) and take her to a fancy restaurant that serves gourmet toasted sandwiches. We’d talk about everything and nothing, the hours flying by. We’d end up lying in the backyard looking up at the stars, with a home-made ice-pop to boot. Pure class.

Nic Smal: Just the end of the Oscar Pistorius trial.

We hear that Nicki Minaj had your fart video parody of her song removed from YouTube. Are you hoping this is a trend because, you know, any publicity is good publicity?

NS: It was a lot of fun making that video, and quite rewarding seeing how huge it went. I think the biggest reward of all is knowing that she saw it and had a sense of humour fail. Yes, any publicity is good, although good publicity won’t pay the lawyer’s fees if we had to go to court with Universal Music Group. Maybe we should give it a try?

GA: She did indeed. I’m not sure if this is a new trend, but I do know that there definitely is such a thing as bad publicity.

If you go around punching kittens and old people, no one will like you, surely?

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These days your videos seem to be coming thick and fast. Is this because they’re making money or because there is a lot more to make fun of?

NS: I think it’s a little bit of both; we are starting to earn money off our videos, and that obviously helps us to continue to create more. Also, you find yourself getting into a rhythm and always looking for material. It’s a lot of fun making the content, so I guess that’s why we keep creating as much as we can.

GA: The internet also moves quickly, and people have short attention spans these days. There’s always something new to make fun of or find humour in. We also like to keep busy and try to keep putting out stuff that will entertain people. We have a surprisingly good work ethic for two blatant plebs.

GA: There are some great comics in South Africa; Martin Evans is one of my favourites, and Corné and Twakkie. There aren’t a lot of musical comics in SA, but The Brothers Streep, Deep Fried Man and Gareth Woods are pretty much on top of their game in that regard. If we can somehow coast to glory on their coattails, so be it.

NS: Yes, we have had some great comedians and cameos from musicians, and we feel super-stoked that people are up for a good laugh. The scene is definitely growing, and now with people taking their content online, it gives so much more opportunity for collaboration.

Check the hilarious duo out via www.derickwatts.co.za. ■

Your videos frequently feature other local musicians and comedians.

What are your thoughts on the comedy scene in South Africa?

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been with me for about three years now.

He comes from a pop-rock background and definitely brings something unique to the blues. Fantastic player indeed.

Stealing

silence

picture: pierre van der walt

With the release of his seventh album, Dear Silence Thieves, blues maestro Dan Patlansky has proven he is capable of taking his music anywhere he wants to – this time in the direction of rock. Claire Martens feels the blues.

What made you decide to approach Theo Crous to work with you on Dear Silence Thieves?

It’s been a long time coming. I’ve worked with Theo on some mixes before over the last few years. I really enjoyed working with him, and was dying to do a full album with the guy. Love his work.

Do you think Dear Silence Thieves is a natural progression of your work or influenced by the recording process?

I believe the songs that where written

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dictated the direction of the album. But saying that, Theo did definitely play a big part in the direction on this one. I still see it as a blues rock record, but with a modern twist.

Who are the other musicians in your band?

Clint Falconer [bass guitar] has been with me for about five years now. I have known him for much longer, though. He’s a great player who understands what is needed for the tune. Andy Maritz [drums] has

Your approach to your career is hands-on and independent. What has made you want to be your own captain over the years?

Well, first off, there have been a lot of people in the background doing their thing as well. Because I’m so passionate about the music I play, I’ve always had strong views on how stuff should happen. Also, I’m not very commercial, so doing it myself for many years was the only option.

What do you think holds South African musicians back from reaching an international level?

I think South African music definitely has its own flavour and brand. Even if we play rock, it sounds a bit South African and I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. Lots of SA bands are doing great in the overseas market. But, take it from me, it ain’t an easy thing putting an international tour together. I think that’s what stops most bands.

What is your favourite reference about your music?

This isn’t your granddaddy’s type of blues!

Who are your current favourite local bands and musicians?

Guy Buttery. Mean Black Mamba. The Black Friday.

Keep up with Mr Patlansky on danpatlansky.com. ■

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Arketypes MonArk discovered their musical calling late in life, but the inherent wisdom of Ewald Janse van Rensburg (guitar, piano, synth), Eugene Coetzer (vocals), Graeme Wuth (drums) and Deon de Klerk (bass) resulted in a unique approach to the band’s career.

Claire Martens chats with Eugene, Ewald and Deon to learn more about their success.

picture: tereza cervinkova

What are the talents in the band?

Eugene Coetzer: Deon brings a sense of realism to the band; he’s a logical guy. He is also very responsible; that helps us a lot! Ewald is a muso as well – also a songwriter. Actually, we write the songs together. We believe that, at this stage, we can’t go without each other. Each one has a different sort of angle to the music.

You chose to release singles before an album. Did you believe this was the way ‘into the scene’?

Deon de Klerk: We knew that ‘the way in’ was good songs and songs that general people can relate to. The idea from the start was to make a product and music that is easily accessible to everyone.

Ewald Janse van Rensburg: We were lucky in the sense that the market is definitely not albumdriven, as it used to be.

It is a singles

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market and you can effectively launch a career off a single. Releasing a single worked really well for us.

Why English if you could have written in Afrikaans?

EC: It’s actually a very simple answer: we chose the language because it is universal.

Do you want to break out of the South African market?

EC: It would be great, obviously! We wouldn’t complain. But we also decided that we wanted to do things properly in South Africa and make sure that we don’t leave this place just for the sake of going overseas. It should be the next natural step. And because it’s our country, we want to give something back.

Tell us about the name Negatives.

EC: ‘Negatives’ is referring to photo negatives. In that, Negatives is a prompt for the future; it’s the blueprint for going forward and the things that can come out of it. A negative is like an actual shot; it isn’t precisely what you see, but it’s a very realistic shot of what happened in that moment. It isn’t edited; it’s not made beautiful; it’s just honest about what happened. And that is the same with our songs; we try to look at life in that very honest way – simplistic, but honest, without colouring it in.

What are your plans for the future of the band?

EC: We would love to just saturate South Africa with our music.

Which bands do you love at the moment?

EC: ISO, Gangs of Ballet, Matthew Mole, Vusi Mahlasela, Tailor, Beatenberg.

For more info and MonArk merch, check out monark.us. ■

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Thumb wars Warfare, wizards and wrestlers vie for your leisure time this month.

Yes, it’s another Call of Duty game, but this year’s release is set to take the bar up a couple of notches – right into the future. Advanced Warfare, as it’s so aptly named, takes all the best bits from science-fiction and real, in-development warfare techniques and weaponry, and hands them over to the player like a big box of toys.

One of these toys is the now wellinto-development exoskeleton. Called Exos, or Exo Suits, these hydraulicpowered devices strap onto the bodies of willing soldiers, giving players the ability to leap high into the air, move at unparalleled speeds and come crashing down on their enemies from above. And you’ll need all the help you can get in this dystopian future, where private military corporations vie for world power following the abrupt downfall of the modern global economy and the countries that supported it. A few guns wouldn’t hurt, either, and Advanced Warfare has them in armfuls, from the recognisable to the outrageous.

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text and pictures: supplied by BT Games

Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare

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Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor Fans of JRR Tolkien and all things Lord of the Rings should pay attention, because Shadow of Mordor is transporting us back to Middle-earth for an all-new adventure. You play a ranger of Gondor named Talion, and you’re free to explore a completely open world, pursuing side-quests and improving your abilities. Its story is set between that of The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings.

Talion is heading into Mordor on a quest for revenge, and to supplement this, the game uses something called the Nemesis System to track your relationships with various boss enemies. Throw an Uruk-hai leader into a fire, for example, and he’ll want to exact vengeance on you when next you meet.

As you play, you’ll gain new abilities across two skill trees: Ranger and Wraith.

Ranger skills make you a more effective, stealthier hunter, while Wraith skills let you impose your will on enemies, allowing you to use foes as spies to gather information on enemy encampments, or spread rumours of your terrible power throughout enemy ranks.

Early pre-orders with BT Games get added content for free, including an awesome steel tin!

Best of what’s out there: sports titles

text and pictures: supplied by BT Games

The official Formula 1 video game series returns in F1 2014. Recreating the 2014 season with spectacular detail, it features new turbocharged cars, new circuits (like the Sochi Autodrom) and all the drivers you’d expect. It promises refined handling and an evaluation system that alters the difficulty of the game based on your performance, along with numerous improvements to Career mode.

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NBA 2K15 is set to deliver more of the exhilarating basketball action this longrunning series is known for, new game modes (and will see the return of Crew mode), as well as a groovy soundtrack hand-picked by Pharrell Williams.

As the first WWE game releasing for current-gen consoles, WWE 2K15 ushers in a new era of visual fidelity for the wrestling franchise. In addition to various improvements to Career mode (and to the game’s core gameplay systems), there’s a mode called 2K Showcase, which focuses on some of the iconic rivalries from WWE’s past, such as that between Triple H and Shawn Michaels.

Get your sports fix now at www.btgames.co.za.

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TECH | GUIDE

Talking tech The latest gizmos and tech developments, brought to you by Steven Norris of Gearburn.com.

pictures: thinkstock, supplied

Pay as you go Mobile payments are where it’s at. With hardware and software options aplenty, phones are instantly turned into cardreading machines, making it a whole lot easier for small businesses to transact.

Check out these top apps. iKhokha is neat. A nub of plastic clicks into the bottom of your phone, turning it into a card-reading machine. The app takes off 2.7% as a transaction fee, but other than that, it’s the perfect option for the small business.

Nedbank offers the PocketPOS as an alternative to the iKhokha’s system.

Unlike the former, PocketPOS is a standalone device, so will work with most Bluetooth smartphones. It’s also ‘chip and pin’ certified, if that wets your whistle.

ZipZap’s mobile payment machine is also separate from the phone, but unlike most other mobile-payment solutions, it only involves a once-off fee of R1 800.

Absa’s Pebble is the handsomest of the bunch. This tiny piece of plastic clips into the top of the phone, costing R50 per month and 3.2% per transaction.

SnapScan works well for user and merchant alike. Instead of accessing credit cards, the user scans in the store’s SnapScan code, enters an amount and puts in their password to complete the sale. No special hardware is needed, but users will need a smartphone that can scan QR codes.

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FlickPay is much like SnapScan, in that users pay by scanning in a QR code. The differential is the merchants: some prefer SnapScan, while others vote for FlickPay.

Get smart with your smartphone Music festivals mean rock, roll and riotously raucous rancour. They also mean videos, photos, and downloading lyrics so you can drunkenly sing along with your favourite band. So how do you keep your phone going, even when the sun goes down? Here are our tips for extending your battery life when a charger is far from hand. The tips below apply to mostly every phone, but I’ll be specific if need be.

Check your juice. In Android, users can go to Settings – Battery to see what exactly is draining their battery the most.

Display and the operating system are the usual culprits, but sometimes apps get

in there as well. In this case, turn off any that you don’t absolutely need.

Don’t social that much. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter – these beasts drain battery (and date) quickly, so try not to use them too often. Take an image, update your Facebook then close the app.

Whatsapp, on the other hand, can remain open, as it barely drains battery or data.

Airplane mode saves the day. This data- and battery-saving option ain’t just for your kulula flight. When wandering the dusty plains of any music festival, keep your phone in airplane mode, only swapping over to check your social feeds.

Brightness controls. Keep ’em low, and turn off automatic brightness controls.

Your phone chows battery every time it changes the screen setting for you, so definitely turn this off.

For more insightful gadget and gaming news, check out gearburn.com.

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ugh on H d n a y Jerem nections n o c , n e conm s g barrier n i s s o r c and ntraal a r T e h t and Jeremy colour, k l a t s r Brothe n ape Tow C d n a s comic

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CHAT

Jeremy Loops puts the kulula in ukulele.

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Hugh ainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t seen nothing yet Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s one of the most celebrated musicians our country has ever produced, with a career spanning half a century. Now Hugh Masekela passes on his wisdom to Jeremy Loops.

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MUSIC | CHAT

Jeremy Loops: Hi, Bra Hugh, this is really exciting for me. How are you?

Hugh Masekela: I’m fine; I’m just gallivanting all over the world, which is my only problem.

JL: I know how that feels, although I haven’t been doing it as long as you.

HM: Sometimes you just plan to come home and do laundry, and then you’re off again.

JL: [Laughs] We played a show last year in Soweto, do you remember? It was the first time I’d played in front of a majority black crowd. You seemed impressed that people were dancing to my music.

HM: That’s why you’re there again this year! We’re not doing that festival without Jeremy Loops.

JL: Oh wow, thank you very much. I’m honoured to be back. I suppose that’s kind of what I wanted to talk about in this interview: reaching across barriers.

I’m not very good at interviewing yet, but I thought if I could interview a musician, I’d want to interview someone like you who’s had a career that spans so many generations and has maintained relevance.

HM: I started when Godzilla was just a lizard. [Laughs] He was just a gecko!

JL: [Laughs] And you’ve played with some of the most amazing people around. Is it true that Louis Armstrong got you to sing once?

HM: No, he got me to sing, period. He asked, ‘You sing?’ And I said, ‘No.’ He said, ‘Well, you must sing; if I can sing then anybody can sing.’

JL: And so you sang?

HM: Well, I’ve been singing since I was a little kid, but when I became a jazz bebop musician, it was unhip to sing. You wore those dark glasses and just played solos, then you stood back and someone else

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would play a solo, and it was just unhip to sing.

JL: Tell me a little about your incredibly close relationship with some of the most celebrated musicians in history.

You have also outlived so many of them; what is your secret to youth?

HM: Exercise, Jeremy. I walk every day, I swim and I have been doing tai chi for 11 years now. It’s a lot like meditation.

JL: Wow, I had no idea. A very legitimate concern among many young musicians these days is to stay relevant so that they have longevity. Was that a fear that you had growing up?

HM: No, I didn’t go into music for the attention, you know; I was a musician because it was an interest and I went into music because I loved it. And everything that happens to me is because I am passionate about it and I work very hard at it. I do it religiously.

JL: Yeah, I’ve heard you say that before in interviews, that you describe music as being like worship.

HM: Everything that has happened to me has just happened because I worked hard at it, but I never aimed at anything. I just wanted to be part of it, to be in there.

JL: One of the things I’m very interested in as a young South African is making music that speaks to people and can help to effect change. I think one of my favourite things about music is that it feels like an international language that crosses all cultures, boundaries and racial divides, and you have obviously been very involved in that.

What are your thoughts on using music for heritage restoration and to cross cultural barriers?

HM: Well, you can’t do anything with people unless you entertain them. You can’t preach to people; you have to entertain them first. Only then will they

maybe listen. So you know, Jeremy, what I’m working very much at is the fact that African society as a whole is the only society that imitates other cultures. But we grew up around traditional music.

What I love about traditional music, when there was no television and there was nothing else, we were exposed to everything. Johannesburg was a melting pot of migrant labourers and everybody had a gramophone, so we were exposed to a cross-section of music. I grew up always figuring that the one thing I was going to promote was the visibility of traditional music that was just taken for granted. It was an open field and now it has completely disappeared.

But what has also happened is that today’s urban children don’t even speak their mother tongue. So I’m looking at having a home/academy where the languages can be brought back, and songs and folk stories, and history, architecture, design, and arts and crafts that are traditional, but just not present in our lives anymore. If we don’t do that, the children of the future – when asked who they are – will say that they used to be Africans long ago.

JL: Yeah, you’re right. I like what you said about entertaining – I definitely feel that in my life, certainly with the social work I do with my organisation Greenpop.

I’ve found it very important to entertain people before telling them that they need to worry about the environment and about these other things.

HM: You have to draw them in first; otherwise they don’t listen.

JL: You once described the apartheid government’s inviting you back to the country as an honorary white as the height of comedy, like something out of the Marx Brothers. Can you tell me about that?

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HM: It’s more macabre than comedy.

[Laugh] Yes, inviting you to your home when the joke was that we are inviting you to South Africa to come and see that you are not really that bad, but you can’t stay with your parents; we want you to stay at the Carlton Hotel as an honorary white.

JL: You must have many absurd stories relating to your exile. How long were you exiled for and was there anything specific that stands out?

HM: Thirty years. Everything was specific – my career started there and I had great schooling, and I played alongside some of the greatest musicians ever.

JL: Like Miles Davis and Louis Armstrong. Who were some of your favourite musicians?

HM: Well, I loved everybody, you know; I played the Monterey Park Festival because my favourite was Ravi Shankar.

JL: Wow. HM: So I’ve never really had favourites, but sometimes you see stunning performances by just about anybody.

And I encourage people to listen to everything, because if you put blinkers on, you’re going to limit yourself to that which you are listening to. But if you listen to everything, it will take you all over the world.

JL: The stories you must have sound to me almost like a fairy tale. You know, I’m a young South African only now starting to have an international career, meeting some big bands…

HM: I was also very lucky. A lot of people helped me. If it wasn’t for Miriam Makeba, I wouldn’t have got to the States. She really helped me out, and so I had to vindicate their belief in me and that was a lot of pressure for me. They gave me a scholarship, but they also let me work.

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CHAT | MUSIC

JL: And do you think that is something that is relevant for music: personal connections, trust between people?

HM: Yes, and you have to be aggressive.

You have to know which elements can help you and you have to know the business itself, how it works. You can’t make it on talent alone.

JL: As this is an in-flight magazine… you must’ve been travelling a lot in your life. Do you have any advice for weary travellers reading khuluma?

HM: Weary travellers? Get some rest whenever you can. And exercise – if you exercise, you never get weary easily.

JL: I’ve read many of your interviews, and you are very transparent about the quite literal ‘highs’ and lows of your career. What do you think it is with artists today and destructive substance abuse?

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HM: Most professions are highly addictive, and the medical profession is the worst, but who knows them? Nobody; they’re not noticeable. So the rumour that there is something wrong with artists is not true, because the majority of artists are quite sober.

JL: Hmm… HM: But also, you know, artists are very accessible, and the entertainment business is filled with all kinds of crooks, because to be in an authoritative position in the entertainment business, you don’t have to have any qualifications.

JL: Yeah, it’s true.

HM: So you are bombarded by dealers and conmen, and you just have to be sharp. You have to trust yourself, and anybody who works with you needs to take orders from you. As soon as you take orders from anybody, you are dead.

JL: Wow, that’s quite a big thing for me to hear at the crossroads I’m at, because I sometimes deal with people who definitely want to tell me what to do.

HM: Yeah. No, you’re the boss. It is your talent; you are giving them work. If you don’t do anything, they don’t eat. You don’t have to be a dictator, but you don’t have to take rubbish from anybody.

Listen, I have to say goodbye, the plane is about the take off and I have to sit down and turn everything off.

JL: I appreciate your time. I think we have covered everything I needed and thank you so much. And have a good trip. I am really looking forward to our performance later on this year, look forward to seeing you again. And I think it is going to be another good show.

HM: Ok Jeremy, take care baba.

JL: All the best.

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Between the lines They’ve made waves with their comics that skewer popular perceptions about race, and brothers Nathan and André Trantraal don’t show any signs of toeing the line. Jeremy Loops gets comical.

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pictures: the trantraal brothers, supplied

COMICS | CHAT

Jeremy Loops: Hi guys. So I’m interested in Coloureds particularly.

Do you co-write the pieces?

Nathan Trantraal: It’s really complicated, but usually one or two people are credited as the writers, which isn’t all that accurate, because the whole thing is a team effort. Everyone has some kind of input and everyone makes comments which end up being included in the piece. Also, the editing and the fine-tuning that happen after we’re done with a piece is a hell of a lot of work; that doesn’t always get recognised.

JL: I also know from writing music that the editing is something people often take for granted.

When I write with overseas collaborators, it’s their job to cut it down to something that makes a little more sense. It’s really a refining process.

NT: Yeah, it’s very much like the poetry I write on my own – it’s the same process. I write the piece, but I won’t show it to anyone until after it’s been edited.

André Trantraal: Most of the time I’m the one who edits his poetry.

JL: So yours is the first set of eyes that sees his work?

AT: Yeah, basically.

JL: Where did the idea for Coloureds come from?

NT: Our first published work was something we did for the Cape Argus.

It was a police story – a detective story. At the time I was kinda feeling around. One of our main influences was American comics, and we gradually started thinking about creating something like that.

AT: We wanted to write about people and places in Cape Town, though.

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NT: Yeah, definitely. Anyway, I was fascinated with two characters in particular and I wanted to do something with them; I wanted to do some epic story about them. They were two small kids, but instead of all this drama and action happening around them, we just wrote about them and their lives. And

that’s basically where it started. From there the idea grew.

There are a lot of archetypes in our stories. At first the biggest challenge was almost to retrain my mind to adapt to this kind of art style. Initially it seemed impossible: how do you draw, say, an alcoholic, without making him look like an absolute stereotype? How do you draw someone with scars on their face or someone who doesn’t have

perfectly straight hair and not make it look generic? So we had to figure all of that out.

JL: That’s interesting. Because you were influenced by other comics growing up, you had to unwind them and try to put them into a context that worked.

AT: Yeah, exactly.

JL: The language you use in Coloureds is obviously a major theme. I’ve heard that you take offence when people call it AfriKaaps or refer to it as a dialect.

What would you call it instead, and why do you think it’s come to have such a defining impact on your work?

AT: Initially we were told that we couldn’t use Afrikaans. That it wouldn’t sell. Well, they said we couldn’t use Afrikaans in the way that we were using it. They said we couldn’t use this ‘phonetic’ spelling. We disagreed. We said we had to express the dialogue in a way that was true to reality. And at the time, no one had really done it yet. We couldn’t find anyone who had successfully used this type of language before in novels, in film or in theatre.

NT: The examples that do exist in the media – on television and in movies – are just inaccurate and ‘simpel’.

You watch these so-called ‘comedians’ and they do the same thing. They build on the preconceived impressions the audience already has. You know, we all know they don’t talk like that at home.

JL: [Laughs] I’d hope not.

NT: It’s ridiculous.

JL: Yeah, well it kinda makes sense.

In front of an audience, they dumb themselves down in an attempt to

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CHAT | COMICS

be funny or just to play at what the audience expects that joke to sound like.

NT: Yeah. So Afri-Kaaps or dialect?

Honestly, I’ve given up with that debate.

I just call it a dialect now, which isn’t entirely accurate. But arguing about it is way too energy-consuming.

JL: I hear you. But why don’t you try? From what I’ve read and heard about you guys, you have the perfect opportunity to name it. I grew up in Kommetjie, right next to Oceanview, which is the coloured area, basically.

And my mates and I were there often, so when I read your work, I understand it and I feel it. So why not take the opportunity to get rid of Afri-Kaaps?

AT: Afri-Kaaps sounds horrible. [Laughs] Are you familiar with S.H.I.E.L.D in the Marvel continuity?

JL: No, not really.

AT: Well, it stands for some ridiculous thing that just sounds 100% made up, and one guy says, ‘Wow. Someone really wants S.H.I.E.L.D to be a thing.’ This is kind of the same situation.

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NT: That, and why am I that important?

Someone called me an activist once and I just giggled, because I’m no activist.

I don’t care enough to be an activist for anything. [Laughs] JL: Who’s your inspiration?

AT: The artist I look up to most is Hayao Miyazaki; he’s a Japanese anime artist.

JL: Do you feel coloured people are underrepresented in the media?

AT: When coloured people are represented in the media, they’re the punchline, you know? So even though they are represented, they’re not being represented accurately.

NT: Yeah, and coloured people often choose to lean towards either their white or their black ancestry. White people are usually proud of being white and black people are proudly black. But with coloureds it could go either way.

JL: With your comics being around for so long and your circulation growing, who do you think your audience is?

AT: It’s mostly white people. [Laughs] Who knows what that means.

JL: Seriously?

AT: [Laughs] Yeah, I suppose it’s a good thing. People who wouldn’t otherwise be exposed to this type of culture are now being educated about it, realising that it exists and that it’s an important part of South African culture as a whole.

JL: Do you think the initial target audience was something different from what it actually is?

AT: Yes, at first we were aiming at the coloured people in Cape Town. At this point we need to rethink that a little bit. But I suppose it is a good thing that someone is actually reading and enjoying our work.

JL: So finally, Crossroads is your latest masterpiece. Was that both of you again?

NT: Yes, we collaborated with some other people as well, though.

JL: So this is your third published book?

AT: Yeah, this will be our third.

JL: Well, I wish you the best of luck. Thank you for your time. I’m really curious to see how everything continues to evolve for you two.

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Imagine being musically inclined, even talented, and not being able to follow your dreams. In impoverished communities all over South Africa, a handful of organisations are doing their bit to improve lives through the power of music. Christian Schroeder and Roxanne Jones feel the beat.

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MUSICAL OUTREACH | LOCAL HERO

Buskaid Buskaid was founded in 1992 by Rosemary Nalden, as an answer to the plea of the local community of Diepkloof, which had few resources to support musically talented children and young people in the area. Rosemary decided to establish an informal music school and, with the help of various South African companies, was able to erect a purpose-built school building.

Faced with the challenge of teaching ever-increasing numbers of children, and the reluctance of local teachers to drive into Soweto, in 2002 Rosemary decided to launch an in-house teachertraining programme. Since then, every child who is a member of Buskaid has been encouraged to learn teaching skills and assist in classes. The Buskaid teaching staff now includes 10 highly skilled young teachers.

Throughout the 22 years of its existence, Buskaid has produced several CDs and DVDs; conducted two-dozen concert tours to countries as far afield as Colombia, Syria and New Zealand; and performed for a number of high-profile dignitaries including Queen Elizabeth II and the late Nelson Mandela.

To donate to this worthy cause that aims to uplift children and young people, and create a safe space in which they can thrive, check out www.buskaid.org.za.

The Durban Music School Nobody can say the Durban Music School isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t doing its bit for the community. Born in 2002, the school was founded with the aim of uplifting children in nearby communities, and has since expanded its ambit to include physically disabled children. Most of the

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MUSICAL OUTREACH | LOCAL HERO

TAKE A BOW Buskaid focusses heavily on teaching string instruments.

SUPERSTAR IN TRAINING One of 200 street children attending the Angels Feeding & Educational Programme in Huhundi.

include winning the Youth Music Competition in Vienna, performing for government ministers and the first ladies of South Africa, being awarded a BASA Award and receiving personal accreditation from the First Lady of China.

As a nonprofit organisation, the school relies completely on donations.

If you want to be a part of furthering the school’s amazing achievements and potentially change a child’s life, contact the managing director, Kim Mathews, on kimgreg@mweb.co.za.

pictures: graham de lacy, abby walters

MusicWorks students at the school are on bursaries – this includes tuition for practical and theoretical music lessons, their respective instruments and a warm meal before they end their jam-packed harmonising sessions.

The Durban Music School’s senior ensemble is the Kwazulu-Natal Youth Wind Band. Some of its achievements

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Using music as an educational tool is what MusicWorks does in some of Cape Town’s most poverty-stricken neighbourhoods. Offering safe and creative spaces for community members, it also works to generate awareness of the benefits of music.

Priding itself on being officially recognised by the Health Professions Council of South Africa, the organisation, which operates on a nonprofit basis with

funding from philanthropy schemes, offers a variety of programmes. These include training for teachers and parents of young children, and after-school extracurricular activities such as choir, marimba bands and poetry/songwriting workshops. It’s all aimed at helping the youth to master musical and creative skills, make personal and relational discoveries, and build connections with parents and members of their communities.

It also facilitates group or individual music therapy sessions for children and young people who have experienced trauma.

If you want to get involved or donate, check out www.musicworks.org.za.

Angels African Children’s Charity Angels is an international children’s charity that works with children in informal settlements in and around Gauteng. The organisation found musically talented children and took them on the adventure of a lifetime –

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LOCAL HERO | MUSICAL OUTREACH

STRING THEORY Siyatemba Nteta, a violinist in the Cape Town Youth Orchestra, passes on his knowledge to little ones in the Masidlale projects.

a world music tour performing in various European countries.

The funds raised by these concerts were then pumped directly back into communities that needed them most.

Now, Angels’ main focus in South Africa is what it calls a pop-up school in the Huhundi informal settlement outside Vryburg in the North West, which acts as a soup kitchen.

Angels has also created signature bloom bags for disadvantaged children and young people. The bags contain clothes, toiletries and educational packs made up of its specifically designed tiered phonics learning system – aimed at improving literacy through the power of music.

The organisation is now embarking on a new project, which will see it launch a massive, UK schools-based fundraising campaign. The funds raised will be used to create more bloom bags, which will then be distributed to the most underprivileged communities in the country.

If you’d like to get involved, check out www.angels-charity.org.

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ALL TO GALA NOW Learners from the Masidlale Project perform on stage during a youth gala concert.

Cape Philharmonic Orchestra Masidlale Music Project For years the Cape Philharmonic Orchestra (CPO) has been at the forefront of Cape Town’s music scene.

Now it’s undertaking an education and outreach programme, The Masidlale Music Project, to provide disadvantaged children with instrumental training that will prepare them for possible later entry into the CPO and its youth orchestra (CPYO).

To accommodate the language diversity of the children who participate

in the project, the organisation hires teachers who are proficient in a number of languages. The CPYO’s highly successful concerts, the demand for them to perform at formal events, their participation in the Hugo Lambrechts Music Festival and their annual performance at the prestigious Fleur du Cap Theatre Awards are testimony to their success.

For more information about the Masidlale Music Project, contact outreach manager Laurika at laurika@cpo.org.za.

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School of rock art

pictures: supplied

Rock paintings and engravings stretch across South Africa, waiting to be found. Will Edgcumbe rocks out

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ROCK ART | TRAVEL

pictures: supplied

FOR AS LONG as mankind has been around, we’ve drawn on things. From hieroglyphics to the Sistine Chapel to those rude scrawlings on bathroom cubicle doors everywhere, we can’t help but express ourselves pictorially.

Visual art is one the best mediums of self-expression, and through it we are able to better understand ourselves and other people and cultures, even those separated from us by thousands of years.

South Africa was home to groups of hunter-gatherers long before the Nguni people moved down from East Africa or Jan van Riebeeck stepped ashore in the Cape. Collectively known as the San people (or colloquially as the Bushmen, although this term is considered relatively pejorative), they in fact comprised individual nations, and left behind a rich collection of rock paintings and engravings across South Africa.

If you’ve never seen rock art up close, it might be easy to dismiss it as crude or primitive, but if you take the time to see it in person and take it all in, you’ll notice the skill and subtlety of it, not to mention how hauntingly beautiful much of it is. Depicting humans, animals and human-animal hybrids, rock art was used to record events from everyday life, and to communicate in metaphors and symbolism using mystical figures; it was also used in shamanic rituals.

What is quite astonishing is the sheer variety and geographic spread of rock art. On rock walls, under overhangs, in caves and on freestanding rocks all over South Africa there are paintings and engravings to be found – some are

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Nestled in the Mopane bushveld on a private 6 000ha nature reserve, Mopane Bush Lodge offers luxury fully catered accommodation in eight secluded twin-bedded, en-suite thatched chalets, one wheelchair-friendly, each within its own kraal incorporating an outdoor shower.

Delicious meals, simply prepared, are served in a spacious dining room, in the boma around the fire under the stars, in the lapa around the pool or in the bush.

The comfortable lounge, with a small library, provides the ideal retreat for quiet, leisurely moments.

Guided tours to the following attractions can be arranged: •Mapungubwe National Park and the ancient Kingdom of Mapungubwe •San rock art •Birding safaris, including a significant wetland •Baobabs and the Baobabwe Peace Trail •Limpopo River and its confluence with the Shashe River Nature drives on Mapesu Farm

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Activities on the nature reserve included in the rate are: •Bush drives, game-tracking, walking, birding and cycling in a safe environment with the option of a guide.

www.mopanebushlodge.co.za | mopanebushlodge@limpopo.co.za Contact your host: Coba Röhm: +27(0) 83 633 0795 Lodge Ops: +27(0) 83 633 0765 | Tel: +27 (0) 15 534 7906 Fax: 086 610 3410 S – 22.234179/E – 029.459731

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ROCK ART | TRAVEL

pictures: tourism kwazulu-natal, frances baard district municipality, supplied

Game Pass Shelter was the site where scientists first discovered the ‘key’ to unlocking the symbolism of rock art, and is often referred to as the Rosetta Stone of southern African rock art famous and well-studied, and some may have been seen by only a few pairs of eyes since they were created.

There are a bunch of famous sites that are home to some wonderful collections of rock art, but it’s worth keeping your eyes peeled if you’re hiking in an area such as the uKhahlamba-Drakensberg Park, which has large concentrations of paintings and engravings that are unmapped, and potentially some yet to be discovered.

Mountains of the masters The sprawling uKhahlambaDrakensberg Park is home to the greatest concentration of rock art in South Africa, with 550 recorded sites amounting to more than 40 000 individual images estimated to be between 120 and 3 000 years old. As such, the Berg is pretty much the best place to see rock art, and

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the settings are just lovely – lonely caves, windswept rock walls and loose boulders, with views that stretch seemingly forever, and so remote that you might be the only person for miles.

If you need a primer on rock art, your first stop should be Kamberg Rock Art Centre and Game Pass Shelter in the Kamberg Nature Reserve. Game Pass Shelter was the site where scientists first discovered the ‘key’ to unlocking the symbolism of rock art, and is often referred to as the Rosetta Stone of southern African rock art.

The Rock Art Centre offers an informative audiovisual presentation on the San and rock art, after which you can visit Game Pass Shelter with a guide. It’s a three-hour round trip, but you don’t need to be especially fit to do it, and you’ll also go past Waterfall Shelter, where paintings are said to have imparted magical powers to the water.

Wherever you find yourself in the Berg, there’s bound to be a decent site nearby. At Giant’s Castle there’s the Bushman Cave Museum, home to some 500 paintings. At Ndedema Gorge you will find 3 900 paintings at 17 sites, and in the Cathedral Peak area there are some 8 800 paintings spread between 130 sites. In other words, it’s quite the gallery.

Not your average Etch A Sketch The !Xun and Khwe San people still call the Kimberley area home.

About 16km west of Kimberley is the Wildebeest Kuil Rock Art Centre, which shows an interesting film on rock art and offers a guided walk to a sacred hill nearby, where more than 400 well-preserved engravings of animals, people and celestial designs can be seen. The on-site Djao Craft Shop also exhibits and sells contemporary San

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TRAVEL | ROCK ART

A SITE FOR SORE EYES Rock art can be found at more than 150 sites in Mapungubwe, though only a few are open to the public

crafts and artwork, so you can take a little piece of this ancient culture home with you.

Slightly more unusual are the Nooitgedacht Glacial Pavements outside the town of Barkley West, a 30-minute drive from Kimberley.

As glaciers spread over ancient rock during an ice age 250 million years ago, claw-like scratches were created on the rock surfaces, and the San embellished them further, using these unusual formations as canvases for their etchings.

Also not far from Kimberley is Driekops Eiland, home to more than 3 500 individual engravings on rock in the bed of the river that are submerged when the river rises; accordingly, your best chance of seeing them is during the dry season, when the water level drops.

A boulder palette Declared a UNESCO World Heritage Site in 2003, Mapungubwe National Park in Limpopo sits on the northern border of South Africa, and is home

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to Mapungubwe Hill, where a welldeveloped African civilisation thrived between 1200 and 1270 AD, leaving behind carvings, beads, figurines and the famous golden rhino.

Predating this rich culture, however, is rather a lot of San rock art, estimated to be between 3 000 and 1 000 years old. More than 150 documented sites feature beautiful paintings of animals and human figures – unique to these paintings is the large proportion of women depicted. Only selected sites can be visited using a guide, but it’s well worth the effort.

While you’re there, visit the Mapungubwe Interpretation Centre, a strikingly beautiful building with fascinating exhibits about the history of the area. The bonus is that Mapungubwe National Park is a Big Five game reserve, so there’s no shortage of things to see. Bear in mind that 35km of the park’s roads are suitable for sedans, but if you want access to a further 100km of roads (and seriously, who wouldn’t?), you’ll need a 4x4.

NOOIT, BRU The Nooitgedacht Glacial Pavements outside Kimberley were scratched by glaciers and improved upon with San engravings – quite a collaboration.

Look with your eyes

Rock art is a part of every South African’s heritage and needs to be protected. Just as you wouldn’t dream of running your dirty finger over the Mona Lisa, you should never touch rock art. You may think that touching it is no big deal, considering much of it is exposed to the elements, but doing so contaminates the pictures, hastens their decay, and can affect chemical analysis and dating procedures. Rock art is a visual medium, so enjoy it with your eyes, take a pic if you must, and leave the paintings just as they are.

Contact

Kamberg Nature Reserve 033 845 1000 (central reservations) www.kznwildlife.com Wildebeest Kuil Rock Art Centre 053 833 7069 Northern Cape Tourism 053 832 2657 http://experiencenortherncape.com Mapungubwe National Park 015 534 7923/4 www.sanparks.co.za

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SAILING ACADEMY SSA Yacht Hand SAS/ICC Day Skipper SAS/ICC Coastal Skipper Yachtmaster & Career Packages Steward/ess Course CHARTERS & MILEAGE TRIPS Half-day Sail Full-day Sail Weekend Live Aboard Charter Coastal Mileage & Charter Trip Options ENQUIRE ABOUT OUR INTERNATIONAL CHARTER DESTINATIONS TEAM BUILDING Synergy under sail!

As in the work place, it is only when each crew member is operating as part of a unified team that a yacht will sail to its optimum performance.

YOUR TICKET TO THE YACHTING & SUPER-YACHTING INDUSTRY Earn $ and € while traveling the world!

RYA Competent Crew RYA Day Skipper RYA Coastal Skipper Options RYA ‘Gap Year’ Packages RYA Yachtmaster Offshore RYA Yachtmaster Ocean Theory RYA VHF Radio RYA Power Boat Level 1&2 Contact us now and start your sail to the super-yachts!

DURBAN BRANCH – Sea Sailing Adventue Sailing Academy – Yacht Charters – Team Building

CAPE BRANCH – Sail Due South RYA/MCA Internationally Accredited Academy

Contact: +27 72 617 6477 | +27 31 337 3570 www.seasailingadventure.co.za shane@seasailingadventure.co.za

Contact: +27 22 772 2168 | 082 728 5044 www.sailduesouth.com admin@sailduesouth.com

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YACHTING | TRAVEL

I’ll tell you yacht…

pictures: tyrone bradley

Ever feel the lure of the high seas? Or the low seas, for that matter? You can even go sailing on a lagoon.

Dexter Douglas feels the wind in his sails.

FEW THINGS REPRESENT adventure and freedom as well as sailing does – out on the open water, under sail, the sun beating down, the horizon sliding past … it’s all very evocative. Unfortunately, most people can’t even tie a passable granny knot, and port is something we drink.

Basically, although South Africa has a coastline stretching more than 2 500km, very few people have any kind of boating competency, which is a great shame, because we have some beautiful waters

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and almost anyone can sail a boat. All you need is some skilled instruction, which is where Sail Due South and Sea Sailing Adventure come in.

Ya wee scallywag Sea Sailing Adventure’s Teambuilding division has joined forces with SA’s top HR, IR and leadership trainers, Bruniquel and Associates, to offer a range of unique teambuilding interventions. Just as each crewmember on a yacht needs to operate

as part of a unified team for the yacht to sail at its optimum, so a business needs all of its employees to work together to succeed. Their popular two-day course offers one day of theory and shore-based exercises, and one day of sailing.

A facilitator works alongside attendees and debriefs them after the course, relating everything back to the workplace. The idea is to build more than just team spirit, but real team unity and understanding, with sailing as a key to unlocking these.

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TRAVEL | YACHTING

Salty sea dogs If you’re serious about a career on the ocean – or just a lucrative gap year or two – then Sail Due South at Langebaan in the Western Cape should be your port of call. Fully accredited by the Royal Yachting Association (RYA) and South African Sailing (SAS), and endorsed by the International Certificate of Competence (ICC), Sail Due South offers a wide range of courses geared towards a profession in the international yachting and superyachting industries.

Courses start from the Competent Crew and Day Skipper, which prepare you for work as a deckhand, to the Coastal Skipper and Yachtmaster, which would allow you to skipper a yacht yourself.

Just about anyone can sail a boat; a low level of fitness will do. People as young as 16 can complete the Competent Crew course, and 18-year-olds can undertake any of the Skipper and Yachtmaster qualifications. South Africa’s coastal waters also offer challenging sailing conditions, which means that if you learn to sail here, you’ll be able to sail just about anywhere.

Sail Due South’s courses are internationally accredited, allowing graduates to find work anywhere in the world. Make no mistake, cutting it in the yachting industry requires long hours and hard work, but the work is rewarding and allows you to see some of the world’s most exotic locations, while earning a lucrative salary.

For example, in the superyachting industry, starting pay for a deckhand or stewardess is €2 500 (about R35 550), certainly nothing to sniff at! Graduates can also find work skippering yachts for charter companies, and doing deliveries – sailing newly built or purchased yachts from one place to another, often across entire oceans.

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The work allows you to see some of the world’s most exotic locations, while earning a lucrative salary Shiver me timber Despite what you may think, you don’t need to have a working knowledge of a sextant or be able to name a constellation other than the Southern Cross to sail.

Sea Sailing Adventure, based at Durban’s harbour, focuses on recreational sailing and can get you on deck and out on the water in no time.

Its Sailing Academy division is SASaccredited and ICC-endorsed, and offers a range of courses, from the basics of being a deckhand to being a Day Skipper (able to take a boat out yourself during daylight), or a Coastal Skipper, which allows you to skipper a yacht from port-to-port in South African waters.

Sea Sailing Adventure’s courses combine onshore theory modules with on-the-boat practical training, with a strong emphasis on safety; after all, a skipper’s first responsibility is to the safety of the crew and the yacht itself.

The company also offers a fantastic Steward/Stewardess Course, which equips learners with the skills needed to become a fully productive superyacht crewmember anywhere in the world.

Training is conducted in a boutique hotel, which serves as a ‘virtual superyacht’, and provides learners with all of the tricks of

the trade and hands-on skills needed to cut it in the industry.

For the landlubbers If you like the idea of being on a yacht, but aren’t too keen on being responsible for the nuts and bolts of running a vessel, Sea Sailing Adventure’s charter division is all about having fun on the water, from company lunches, to a fun day out for the family, honeymoons, and weekend and coastal sailing trips. Experienced skippers will ensure you have a memorable, but safe, experience on the high seas.

Arrr, me matey!

Keen on anything that floats?

Then best you tack on over to the Cape Town International Boat Show, which is on at the CTICC from 10-12 October.

Contact

Sail Due South 082 320 4975, www.sailduesouth.com Sea Sailing Adventure 072 617 6477, www.seasailingadventure.co.za

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Knysna Self Catering Accommodation Imagine a vacation or breakaway at a resort with both the mystery of lush, green gardens and the appeal of lagoon-front chalets on the edge of the famous Knysna Lagoon.

Imagine a tranquil setting where you can rest to your heart’s content with also enough facilities to occupy and engage the little people in your travelling party.

You can have all of the above at one of South Africa’s top coastal resorts – the multiaward-winning Knysna River Club.

Accommodation comprises 20 luxury four-star self-catering one or twobedroom chalets, fully equipped and serviced daily, each with its own Weber on the veranda. Choose between garden-view and lagoon-view.

Knysna River Club, Sun Valley Drive, Costa Sarda, PO Box 2986, Knysna, 6570 Tel: +27 44 382 6483 Fax: +27 44 382 6484 Email: info@knysnariverclub.co.za

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Lost in trance nation As Cape Townâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s psychedelic trance scene prepares to celebrate its 20th anniversary, Keith Bain contemplates his tribal roots.

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TRANCE CULTURE | BEHIND THE SCENES

GOA, PRE-DAWN. Vikram, my mad Mumbai buddy, had woken me to say something was stirring. From somewhere in the distance came a dull, distinctive throb. A steady thud of bass spilled across paddy fields and coconut groves to us. The previous nightâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cancelled party had finally started up, its precise location a secret. It was early in the new millennium, and Goaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s once-thriving trance scene was creeping underground.

Undaunted, we jumped on our cantankerous motorbike, aimed towards the beat and followed our ears. A clearing near the beach, surrounded by jungly palms, had been festooned with tie-dyed flags and besieged by a lively mob. We felt instantly at home, bouncing, swaying, dancing deliriously to the hypnotic pulse of synapse-tweaking music that, no matter where in the world you find it, seems to evoke the same playful hedonistic charge.

The crowd was a multinational mix of travellers and local party misfits. Villagers had set up makeshift stalls and made conversation with charged-up revellers, serving sweet chai and decorating foreign limbs with henna tattoos.

Dancing and mingling away those morning hours, I felt swept up in some sort of utopian dream, only very much awake and alive. Beneath the hot Indian sun, sticky with perspiration, surrounded by nature, and among people consciously celebrating their freedom, inhibitions were relinquished under the spell of high-BPM psychedelic rhythms cascading out of megawatt speakers. I felt at home. This was, after all, my tribe.

From the hippie trail The original hippie trail found its way to the beaches of north Goa in the late 1960s, when the scene was fuelled by liberal attitudes to achieving altered states of consciousness. The global nomads who landed there were known for their

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TRANCE CULTURE | BEHIND THE SCENES

full-moon parties, where, through the 1970s and 1980s, music that eventually became known as ‘Goa trance’ evolved organically out of psychedelic rock altered by new technologies and electronic genres being brought in by visiting DJs. By the early 1990s, globe-trotting DJs were exporting Goa trance to the rest of the world. Grant Dreyer, widely acknowledged as having kick-started Cape Town’s psy-trance movement, first heard this music in late 1994. ‘We’d come from an indoor clubbing background. In those days it was only rave,’ says Grant. ‘Then, at a braai, these DJs who’d just been to Goa played this new kind of music. I heard it and knew we had to take it outdoors.’

In November 1994, he threw the first trance party (Essence of Florescence) under the Vortex banner, and the first outdoor party the following year. What started as intimate, often underground, events for people keen to experience this alternative form of music in magical openair settings evolved over the years into an

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enormous Cape Town subculture, with parties or festivals almost every weekend, many lasting several days, with scores of local and international DJs on the bill.

Beyond music Ask anyone who’s spent time at a trance party, though, and they’ll tell you that there’s something beyond the music that draws the scene’s ardent supporters.

Grant realised this early on. ‘At the time we launched the scene here, we’d just emerged from apartheid. I’d grown up with the awkwardness of a divided society. But when I went to India, what I experienced was one dance floor with 40 different nationalities dancing together. No one necessarily shared the same language, background nor religion, yet they were united by this doof-doof-doof kind of music.

‘I started investigating what drives people to go to these festivals and found that, beyond their love of the music, people who’d been in it for a long time actually had a real love of the culture.’

Cape Town DJ-producer James Copeland says: ‘Few music cultures can claim the community spirit of the psy-trance scene.’ He says this is possibly because every outdoor party feels like it’s the formation of a temporary village where everybody comes to partake and participate in a short-lived, but intense, hedonistic experiment.

Grant explains that it’s this brokering of a sense of community that makes the multi-day format so important. ‘Five days,’ he says, ‘is ideal for people to actually communicate and connect.’

The community Grant describes is countercultural, in the sense that trance culture tries to eradicate social programming, offering instead ‘a philosophy of open-mindedness. It’s about breaking down barriers imposed by modern life and its institutions,’ he says.

In today’s context, though, that prerogative can be difficult to maintain when the proportions of the party shift the scene into the mainstream. Grant says he

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TRANCE CULTURE | BEHIND THE SCENES

Get your groove on The relentless summer season is already under way; here are a few highlights to keep you busy until New Year. For more, visit psymedia.co.za.

The Village: The Gathering 11-12 October, facebook.com/ TheVillageSA Revellers gather at the Wildekrans Wine Estate, one hour from Cape Town, with Israeli duo Abomination headlining, and local DJs including Dave Mac, Skitzo and Headroom.

Organik Gaian Dream 18-19 October, organik.co.za Israel-based DJ Freedom Fighters performs alongside local heroes Headroom and Killawatt.

Twilight 25-26 October, twilightfestival.co.za A chance to catch Broken Toy performing his unique brand of psytrance in Magaliesberg. {psy.ology} 1-2 November, facebook.com/ PsyologyRecords A new event featuring stalwart internationals Mekkanikka (from Spain) and Whiptongue (Brazil).

Vortex Open Source 3-8 December, intothevortex.co.za This annual festival happens at a magical riverside setting just outside Riviersonderend. It’s not only the official anniversary celebration of 20 years of trance in SA, but also Vortex’s 100th self-produced event.

Tribe 13-14 December Three of major psy-trance organisers – Alien Safari, Organik and The Village – collaborate on this one-night affair.

Rezonance 31 December – 3 January 2015, rezonancefestival.com Sweet madness reigns across four stages at Cape Town’s ultimate letyour-hair-down NYE celebration.

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never expected the local scene to expand so dramatically.

Still, it was his own millennium Vortex festival that turned out to be the biggest trance party ever held outside Europe.

The scene was by all accounts still in its fledgling years, but had rapidly multiplied its imprint on global consciousness, and its music, deemed substantially different to what was being played in clubs, attracted an alternative audience. Grant says 2 000 tickets to that New Year event were sold abroad, making it the first attempt to make the local trance scene international.

Our scene has since evolved into one with many more promoters, operating with various degrees of connectedness to the underground consciousness that first fuelled it. Alien Safari, the other longstanding local organiser, puts on several major events a year and is the driver behind Rezonance, the Cape’s biggest annual NYE bash. Other promoters ensure that thousands of dance-floor acolytes are kept amused virtually every weekend, and there are smaller scenes in Gauteng and KZN.

Size vs soul There are far bigger events in Europe and South America, says DJ-producer Adam Metcalfe, who has a packed schedule of international gigs. The biggest crowd he played to was more than 20 000 revellers at Ozora in Hungary, and there are parties attracting even larger numbers. But bigger isn’t necessarily better, he says.

‘Bigger numbers are great for business,’ says James, ‘but I’ve seen that it’s unsustainable. Brazil’s scene had a huge boom in the last decade, drawing crowds in the tens of thousands, but eventually all that was left were soulless corporate-sponsored events that shifted the focus to more mainstream EDM and house music. Psy-trance is necessarily an alternative culture, so if the music becomes so generic that people who typically listen to daytime radio can get into it without missing a beat, we’re doing something wrong.’

‘The scene overseas is flagging,’ says Grant, ‘and no longer has the growth we have in SA. Locally, we’re seeing a

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BEHIND THE SCENES | TRANCE CULTURE

fragmentation between commercial and less-commercial events. I think we’re on the cusp of a massive influx of international travellers coming to these festivals.

‘Many of the people who move around the world to attend these parties pay their way by trading with jewellery or clothing. Exposure to the trance travellers who have been doing this for 20 or 30 years will give more locals insight into the notion of being a small part of a huge global family.’ In that sense, says Grant, the scene can maintain a connection with its earliest roots.

Now’s the moment Some call it blissful abduction. And among myriad attempts to describe the fantastic delirium of the trance scene are suggestions that it’s a modern form of transcendentalism, a multisensory convergence of technology and spirituality.

Whatever you imagine, once you’re on the dance floor, you can’t help but notice that wildness prevails as much as the love affair with the rhythms. It’s a carnival of stomping, limb-thrusting, and hip-gyrating. But at the heart of all of these physical gestures is a deep sense of freedom, of timelessness, of engaging and connecting with a mass of likeminded people in ways that transcend the usual social strictures.

‘We believe in living in the moment,’ says Grant. ‘Past is past, the future is in the future, and all you can actually do is experience the now.’

Anything goes, as long as the vibe is positive, the mood upbeat, and the music sufficiently relentless to keep us dancing in the dust. My tribe may no longer be a teenager, but it will always possess the soul of youthfulness.

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Where music meets machine

You know it when you hear it, say the aficionados, but precisely defining psychedelic trance can be tricky. Some call it the classical music of the times, intricately crafted from a vast wealth of possible sounds, relying on the latest technologies to create what many refer to as ‘trippy’ music. In this sense, psy-trance is thought of as a medium that activates personal transformation, celebrated collectively through dance, the music literally transporting revellers into alternative realms of consciousness, into a trance state.

‘I aim to write music that touches as many people as possible,’ says Adam Metcalfe – aka Headroom (top left). ‘Trance music can take people to a place where they feel a resurgence of their primal spirit.’

Adam, who spends considerable time in studio producing original music, describes psy-trance as a kind of ‘sonic hypnotism’, blending ‘high-tempo looping grooves, complex synth rhythms, tribal percussion, and otherworldly sounds’ that invariably take the listener on a journey.

There’s no denying the forward-looking, technology-driven atmosphere of the genre, which plays out in multiple sub-genres from dark-psy to progressive.

It’s often intense, fast-paced, relentless in its delivery of beats, and complex in its arrangement of different sounds and rhythms.

James Copeland – aka Broken Toy (top right) – came to psy-trance from a background of playing in metal and funk bands. He’d dabbled in computergenerated music and the ensuing electronica, but says when he attended his first Vortex party in 1998, the music ‘sounded impossible to create’. ‘It seemed impossible to fathom what was happening, let alone how it was made,’ he says.

But he was hooked nonetheless. ‘It’s the range of sonic textures and moods involved that’s kept me interested in making this music for over 14 years’.

Which is not to say James sticks to any formulaic genre expectations. ‘I think a lot of psy-trance relies on being hypnotic and repetitive to get you literally “into a trance”. My stuff isn’t like that at all. It’s quite brash and gnarly at times, relying on a bit of shock and surprise to create effect and excitement, rather than to trip you out all the time. To some, this isn’t psychedelic at all, but I allude to the psychedelic instrumentation of Jimi Hendrix – wailing on his guitar, he was creating sounds unheard of, with character all its own, infusing the music with its own particular kind of life. To me that’s equally psychedelic.

‘The fact is,’ says James, ‘what I do couldn’t exist in any other scene, so I’m here by default, whether folks think it’s psy or not.’

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r l Offe of Specia Transport re in il on Ra old furnitu h rs house l containe n e w 6m ste – Cape To ta ta Jhb/P wn – Jhb/P o T Cape Door to d Door elf an yours Load ousands! th save

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DRIVE | ACTION

Living on the edge?

pictures: supplied

You don’t have to, as David Taylor discovers in the Lexus ES250.

ROCKSTARS DO LIVE the lifestyle, don’t they? From beer-fuelled concert binges to leaping off stage mid-song, they live on the edge. There’s no surprise, really, when you hear that one has keeled over at the age of 27. I think they’d live a lot longer if they travelled between gigs in the Lexus ES250.

A Lexus for a rockstar? That’s like saying Lorde deserved her 2014 MTV award for rock music. Yet there’s method in my madness, as the Lexus ES250 is designed to be one of the biggest

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There’s a nice 2.5-litre V6 in there, which does a good job of moving the Lexus ES250 around. It’s pretty fuelefficient, too, for an engine of its size, meaning your gig money isn’t wasted on trivialities such as petrol.

So there you have it: the Lexus ES250 offers a tremendous amount of boot space, rear legroom and specification.

It’s supremely comfortable and has adequate performance to get away from the paparazzi. Best of all, it’s available for us office drones, too, at R462 500.

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America, hell yeah!

Ciao, bella!

This is the Dodge Charger Hellcat. There’s a reason why it has such a badass name. Dodge claims this four-door sedan is the fastest, quickest and most powerful production sedan in the world.

That’s quite a claim, but the figures don’t lie.

Its supercharged 6.2-litre V8 engine pushes out 527kW. In a world effectively neutered by treehuggers, the Hellcat is a middle finger to the establishment. Yee-haw!

This pretty thing is the latest from Alfa Romeo and will be seen trotting the streets of South Africa. It’s called the 4C and it’s easily one of the most striking vehicles on the planet. It’s fast too, due to its carbonfibre body and compact dimensions. There may only be a 1.7-litre turbo-charged engine in there, but that should be enough power. Besides, it’d just be mean to drive fast and deny the public a glimpse of this beautiful work of automotive art.

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and most comfortable cars, without impacting too insanely on the budget.

Let’s start with that cabin. Bear in mind this sedan is bigger than most cars, so you can expect businessclass legroom in the back. The boot’s enormous too, meaning room for a few guitars or groupies, or both. Features include a six-speed automatic gearbox, heated leather seats, satellite navigation, a full infotainment system with Bluetooth, and there’s even a privacy blind at the back.

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ACTION | DRIVE

Five hardcore beastmobiles

Rock stars (if they drive themselves at all) don’t drive around in any old sedan.

We’ve got five ridiculous vehicles perfect for those who enjoy throwing TVs out of windows.

se Becaulove we allist al

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This isn’t just a Rolls-Royce; this is a fast and dynamic Rolls-Royce – the ultimate in showing the masses you’ve made it.

HUMMER H2 (APPROX R200 000 SECOND-HAND)

It’s big, bold and brash, and loosely based on a US Army vehicle used in the first Gulf War. Nothing says badass quite like a Hummer with chrome 26-inch wheels cruising around town.

The only way to get one is second-hand.

LAMBORGHINI AVENTADOR (R4.3-MILLION BEFORE DUTIES)

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Which rockstar doesn’t have a Lamborghini?

The Aventador is one of the fastest and most expensive vehicles ever to come out of Italy, but who cares about the price? Its spectacular looks speak for themselves.

MERCEDES-BENZ SLS (R2 739 900)

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This may not be as ludicrously priced as some of the others on this list, but it’s still pretty amazing. It has a hand-built 6.2-litre V8 engine, but the coolest thing about the Mercedes-Benz has to be the gullwing doors.

BUGATTI VEYRON (R20.1-MILLION BEFORE DUTIES)

It’s the world’s fastest road car, thanks to its quad-turbo-charged W16 engine. Not only is it blisteringly fast; it’s quite luxurious on the inside too.

Crazily, you can empty its fuel tank in 12 minutes when driving at top speed.

text david taylor; pictures: supplied

the fiver

ROLLS-ROYCE WRAITH (R4.2 MILLION-BEFORE DUTIES)

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STUFF | PROPERTY

D.I.Wired Hasmita Amtha shows you how to create the ultimate home-entertainment centre.

GONE ARE THE days when the whole family came together at the end of the day, in the TV room, to watch a sitcom that was aired on a local TV station. Home entertainment has certainly evolved since then, as homes become smarter, with the latest technology available.

Now known as a media room, which can be defined as a multipurpose space that is designed for the family’s entertainment, this room is equipped

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with audio and visual systems, internet access and home automation.

Before you go on a hunt for a home entertainment designer and installer, consider these aspects so you’re equipped with everything you need to know.

The space When designing a home entertainment hub, take a good look at your home and the space you have to work with.

Home entertainment doesn’t have to be restricted to a home theatre in the basement. As Lorina Prato of IntelloHOME highlights, ‘it can be the creation of a big screen in your lounge’.

All you need is to get the acoustics right, and the layout. If you live in an open-plan space, look at what can be done to make the space work. You may need a drop-down or motorised screen to close off the area when you want to watch a movie.

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PROPERTY | STUFF

you make use of various circuits for the downlights; in doing this, you will be able to control the lighting better.

pictures: supplied

Tech out

You will also need to look at furniture.

This will include comfortable seating, whether it’s a couch or recliners, paired with ottomans and a coffee table.

Ensure that your seating is placed so that no matter where someone is seated, their view is unobstructed.

And lighting is one of the most important elements. Riana Kriek of Cinema Architects points out: ‘It can make a huge difference in the overall look of your space.’ She advises that

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In selecting your tech equipment, Jaryd Raizon of Simpletech explains: ‘The focus should be on being able to do anything and everything that you want, very simply, whether it’s wireless streaming media from your mobile device or the internet, picking your favourite movie off your local video library, or even just enjoying a concert from the comfort of the couch with your family or friends.’

With that in mind, you will need a collection of devices that are able to connect to one another. Your essentials are internet access, WiFi, a good-quality surround-sound system, a large plasma screen and a Blu-ray player. You can also connect your gaming equipment for those long online gaming sessions.

As you add and connect more technology, the secret to keeping it simple is a product such as Control4.

‘Control4 allows you to start with an easy-to-use “universal remote” that can control all devices, yet still offer the intelligence and ability to expand into the entire home as a complete automation solution,’ suggests Kara Gouveia of Homemation.

To create the perfect homeentertainment setup, it’s important to do as much research as possible into the products available; know your space and how these will enhance your viewing experience. These two aspects can make spending time in your home entertainment area that much more enjoyable.

For more inspiring décor and home ideas, go to www.sahomeowner.co.za.

Seven tips to consider before you go all out on your homeentertainment system 1. Purchase good-quality tech equipment. This will save you in the long term, as you won’t have to replace products that fail. Mix and match brands; do some research to find out which brands have the best products.

2. Keep it simple. A system that is complicated to use will not add any value, and will not be used in the end.

3. Ensure that all of the wires and cables are neatly stored away and not tangled. Opt for Bluetooth if you can.

4. Upgrade your bandwidth. This will make the downloading and viewing of video content easier and less time-consuming.

5. Select smart software. Invest some time in selecting software that will actually bring your entertainment experience to you.

6. Always consult a professional designer or installer, so you’re clued up before dishing out the cash.

7. Set a budget, be it small or large. This will prevent you from spending too much on products you may not need.

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MONEY MATTERS | STUFF

Finding the right staff to rock your organisation The only way your company can grow is by sourcing the right people to take it to new heights.

But how do you find them and, once you have, how do you nurture and groom them for leadership? Katherine Graham has a few answers.

HR CHALLENGES ARE universal, with none more so than finding the right talent to match your company’s growth aspirations. According to Deloitte’s 2014 Global Human Capital Trends report, leadership, retention and engagement are the top trends rated by the 266 South African firms who were surveyed. The report shows that organisations face an urgent need to develop leaders at all levels – from bringing younger leaders up to speed faster, to keeping senior leaders relevant and engaged longer.

‘Organisations need multiple strategies to buy, borrow and build the skills they need in their core business,’ says Sandra Burmeister, CEO of executive search company Amrop Landelahni. ‘They need to develop a leadership pipeline that extends 20 or 30 years into the future.’

picture: istock

Developing leaders Sandra says it takes 10 to 15 years for a newly qualified professional to be sufficiently experienced to serve in a substantial managerial capacity.

‘Creating the pipeline is only the first step,’ she says. ‘Developing appropriate development plans, mentoring and coaching to grow this talent from graduate to effective manager is critical.’

A prerequisite of future leaders is their ability to adapt to change, to innovate and to energise their team members. In order to achieve

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effectiveness and efficiency, businesses need to proactively develop these talented individuals.

‘The solution lies in growing leaders that are aligned with company values, so that supervisors and managers take ownership for driving improvements and innovation,’ asserts HR expert SuMari Du Bruyn, co-founder of Adapt To Change. ‘To create such a culture, it is essential to develop their skill sets to be able to effectively deal with business challenges.’

Managing millennials Another HR headache is dealing with job-hopping millennials, employees born after 1983 into a wired, increasingly globalised world. US Bureau of Labour stats show that the average millennial spends less than three years in one job, which is pretty discouraging, considering the loss of institutional knowledge and the cost of replacing them.

Employers worldwide are finding that the practices that have worked to retain employees in the past don’t work with Generation Y. According to the Deloitte report, today’s young professionals are looking for work that inspires

passion and allows them to fulfill their professional, personal and social goals.

Key to getting the most out of millennials is flexibility and allowing them room to grow. ‘For younger workers in particular, workplace flexibility in terms of when and where they work is important – sometimes more so than remuneration,’ says Sandra.

Instead of being frustrated by millennials’ lack of commitment, businesses need to create a company culture that fosters personal growth.

‘Whatever their job title,’ Su-Mari says, ‘millennnials need to know that opportunities exist within their organisation to try new, exciting and different career paths.’

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HEALTH | STUFF

On a good note These healthy titbits will see to it that you don’t miss a beat this month.

The bass boost

pictures: supplied

You know that moment when you’ve got your headphones on, you’re blasting ‘Eye of the Tiger’, and suddenly you feel pumped, all-powerful and like nothing is impossible? It’s not just you channelling your inner Rocky; researchers from Northwestern University say there’s really something to it. But, they say, not all songs are created equal – apparently what sets the winners apart is the bass.

‘We chose to manipulate bass levels in music because existing literature suggests that bass sound and voice are associated with dominance,’ says study author Dennis Hsu. But why these sounds resonate so deeply is still up for debate: the ‘contagion hypothesis’ suggests that when we hear things that express a sense of power, we mimic these feelings internally, while the ‘conditioning hypothesis’ argues that certain pieces of music trigger a sense of power because relevant experiences are often paired with that particular music (think TV ads and sports events).

Whatever it is, boost the bass on your iPod before that next big board meeting for powerful results.

YOU’RE SO VAIN… …you probably know it! A recent study conducted by Ohio State University reckons that the easiest way to identify a narcissist is simpler than you might think – just ask.

According to the researchers, you just need to ask this exact question, including the note: To what extent do you agree with this statement: ‘I am a narcissist’?

(Note: The word ‘narcissist’ means egotistical, self-focused, and vain.)

Apparently their study of more than 2 200 people revealed that people’s rating of themselves on a scale of 1 (not very true of me) to 7 (very true of me) lined up very closely with several other validated measures of narcissism.

‘People who are narcissists are almost proud of the fact,’ said co-

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author of the study, Brad Bushman. ‘You can ask them directly because they don’t see narcissism as a negative quality – they believe they’re superior to other people and are fine with saying that publicly.’

Well, if that’s not pretty rock ’n roll, I don’t know what is.

10:1

The concentration of bacteria versus human cells in the average healthy body. That’s right: you’re host to 10 times more bacteria than your own cells. Good thing most of them are actually useful, helping us with functions vital for our survival, such as digestion. You can stay, little guys.

1 in 4

People who are afraid of flying. But we guess the fact that you’re reading this makes you one of the other three.

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HEALTH | STUFF

Atchoo!

text: supplied by thermofisher scientific; pictures: thinkstock

Still sneezing and sniffling your way into summer? It’s snot a laughing matter.

Spring allergies

How does the test work?

Spring may have sprung and gone, but those billions of tiny pollens that trigger allergy symptoms in many people haven’t yet. This condition is called seasonal allergic rhinitis, commonly referred to as hay fever. When allergic reactions affect the eyes, nose and throat, the symptoms are often categorised as rhinitis. Allergic rhinitis is an extremely common illness that is often mistaken for an ordinary cold.

However, rhinitis may develop into more severe problems such as asthma.

Hay fever can affect your quality of life. It can lead to sinus infections, disrupt your sleep and affect your ability to learn at school or be productive at work.

Together with your doctor, you can discuss which allergens to test for. Your doctor will take a small blood sample and send it to a laboratory for analysis. The results are sent back a few days later.

The test is quantitative and measures the number of allergy antibodies in the blood (IgE), which is an indicator of allergic sensitisation. Based on a physical examination, your case history and the results of your blood test, the doctor will be able to make a proper diagnosis.

Symptoms Allergy symptoms occur when your immune system overreacts to an allergen – something that is usually harmless, such as plant pollen, dust mites or moulds. If you have an allergy, your immune system acts as if the allergens were dangerous, releasing a chemical called histamine that causes allergy symptoms.

If the allergen is something you breathe in from the air, your reaction will most likely affect your eyes, nose and lungs.

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The results can help to optimise treatment The test result can help to identify your unique allergy profile. With this information, you and your doctor can tailor an individual action plan to reduce exposure to those triggers, which will: • Decrease the symptoms; • Decrease the risk of a severe allergic reaction; and • Decrease the need for medication.

A negative test result can help your doctor to rule out specific allergies as a trigger of the symptoms, and the search for the true cause can continue. This means you can avoid taking unnecessary measures to reduce exposure, and you can avoid taking allergy medications

(such as antihistamines) when they aren’t needed. You aren’t exposed to any allergens during the testing procedure, so there’s no risk of allergic reactions.

Ask your doctor about a blood test for allergy A blood test will help your doctor to determine if you are allergic, what you are allergic to, and may even rule out allergy.

A blood test is quick and simple, and is available to you through your doctor.

A blood test can test for hundreds of allergens, such as weeds, trees, pollen, mould, food and animal dander. Adults and children of any age can take a blood test, and it can be performed irrespective of skin condition, medication, symptom, disease activity and pregnancy.

Any doctor can take the blood sample and request the test, and the tests are covered by medical aid.

Do you suspect allergies behind your symptoms?

Allergies are very common and we often treat the symptoms without finding the cause!

Visit www.isitallergy.co.za and complete your allergy profile to find out more.

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STUFF | COLUMN

Blood, sweat and beers

IT’S MIDDAY, SOMEWHERE near the tip of Africa, sun beating down on a festival mob of five, maybe six, thousand partyanimals dancing to the kind of synapsetweaking high-BPM doef-doef music that makes you jump and shake and wave your arms like a crazy monkey.

And low and behold, if I’m not in the middle of it all, bouncing like a Jack-inthe-box, barely a sliver of breathing space separating me from the other maniacs.

There are chaps wearing watermelon helmets, blokes in dassie onesies, Gyrating Naked Guy, the Girl-Who-Likes-to-Hug… so much celebratory spirit, I feel like I’m dancing on marshmallows.

But others have infiltrated our merry gathering. Up front, some smiling twit has invaded the stage and is smalltalking the DJ, who is – no secret, this – in the middle of a threehour blitzkrieg set, nerves steeled as he mixes on two separate laptops, tweaking switches, twiddling knobs, evoking electronic orchestras.

But Stage Invader is insistent. He’s met the DJ once before, so considers himself his soulmate – welcome to intrude, interfere, disturb. Worse, now Random Idiot’s friend tiptoes into the background, keen to share the spotlight.

Poor DJ. His show’s turning into a Jackson Five concert. There are now

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three halfwit hangers-on chit-chatting alongside him, waving at friends in the crowd. Then Neanderthal No 1, dressed like a Goth despite soaring temperatures, decides it’s time for a group selfie – with the DJ. So now, mid-mix, the only person with a job to do is forced to pose with the human zoo that’s taken over his stage. It’s ages before security twigs, and there’s

a near-tussle as the bouncers turf the Traveling Wilburys from the stage.

Meanwhile, on the dance floor, intensifying heat inspires some Darwin Award candidate to transform into a human sprinkler, spinning around with his beer held aloft, dousing everyone – including the DJ, who’s now mopping his laptop, wiping wet wires, struggling to maintain his cool.

Then the weirdness turns personal.

Some spindly girl with Arctic eyes and skin like whipped cream teeters forward

in a cloud of tequila fumes. Realising I’m all there is to prevent her from face-planting into the mud, she presses her tiny hands into my chest, steadying herself. There’s an awkward moment as she regains equilibrium, stands upright, jaw aquiver. Then she looks at her palms and, as if channelling Lady Macbeth with her blood-stained fingers, yells, ‘Eeeeuw!

You’re sweating!’

It’s no surprise to me.

I’ve been cavorting in the blazing heat since dawn. Perspiration seems justified.

‘Ja,’ I say. ‘I’m warm-blooded.’

She backs off, realising her cover’s blown. Thick nictitating membranes swish over her eyeballs like lightningspeed elevator doors and a long, forked tongue slithers from between her lips. Turning to make her escape, a hideous reptilian tail slips from her disco shorts, unravelling in her wake.

There’s a shriek from the crowd, and I close my eyes for an instant as I reach for my laser, preparing to give chase. But in that blink of an eye, the DJ drops the bass, sending shivers up my spine.

When I open my eyes, there’s not a reptile nor bad attitude in sight. A big cheesy grin washes over me as I reconnect with the beat, and get back to the business of dancing.

illustration: pete woodbridge

Keith Bain contracts festival fever – and realises he’s not the only one.

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