Khuluma37

February

2015

The ‘What is Love?’ issue

Warren Robertson Puts the ‘antic’ in romantic

Warren chats to Vusi Mahlasela

Does Vusi have any spare awards lying around for Warren?

Helena S Paige

How much real-life research goes into writing erotic novels?

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ROTARY ROMANCE SA’s least romantic DESTINATIONS Confectionary

PERFECTION

GOT THE MUNCHIES? FOR THE MENU

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ges 2 & 3

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View from

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h no, it’s February again: the month of mortal fear for all the males of our species, when we're not only expected to remember Valentine’s Day, but also find a ‘suitable’ gift. If you have put no thought into this, then at least make sure

it is small and light, so that you will not require a visit to a specialist to have it removed.

The fundamental problem is that us men can get a little carried away during the ‘honeymoon’ phase of a relationship, and thereby set the expectation level until death us do part. Eighteen years later, I have been through all the feasible gifts at Cardies and now break into a cold sweat on 13 February, clutching at my chest, and end up with a visit to a specialist. Perhaps this is not a bad idea, as I can dodge the 14th entirely – courtesy of my medical aid.

The problem with having set the expectation level is not necessarily the cost of the gift, but the thought and romantic ingenuity behind it. I would not object to buying something practical like a new vacuum cleaner or washing machine, despite the cost, but the size and weight of these objects would put me straight into the mortuary.

The problem, therefore, is that I am running out of romantic ingenuity after 18 years of marriage, and dealing with a wife who still remembers the ‘courtship’ like an elephant with obsessive-compulsive disorder.

I recently watched Extreme Cheapskates on TV, and I don’t know how these husbands get away with giving their wives second-hand flowers from a trash can (perhaps that is the bit that is not suitable for reality TV). However, if I have to reset the Valentine’s Day gift benchmark, then I might as well do it properly! So if my column does not appear in the March edition of khuluma, then you know I have not yet been discharged from hospital.

Erik Venter, CEO: Comair Ltd

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Contents February 2015 76

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Regulars

VIEW FROM THE TOP Our CEO’s mirthful missive on the day of love ÜBER-EDITOR’S LETTER Warren Robertson puts his cynicism aside for one day in the year

KULULA PAGES A guide to flying with your significant other, plus Trev’s take on apologies and Cape Cycle Tour info

Guide

WESTERN CAPE What to do, where to eat, where to sleep and how to dress in and around the Mother City

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GAUTENG Get busy, chow down, shop till you drop, then sleep it off in Gauteng

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KWAZULU-NATAL What’s happening in the warmest place in Mzansi?

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GARDEN ROUTE Food, fashion and natural wonder along our glorious Garden Route

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BEAUTY Great grooming and amorous odours for the big date

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TOP TIPPLE Lubricate your love life with our potent potions

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WATCH What’s more romantic than a darkened room and snacks?

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LISTEN This month’s therapeutic audio, plus we chat with the KONGOS!

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GAMES Thumb-twiddling, eye-twitching gaming goodness

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TECH The best dating apps to help you find the hottest dates

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Chat

VOICE OF SA Vusi Mahlasela and Warren talk about home life, humanitarianism and harmonising

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RAUNCHY WRITERS Warren gets hot under the collar in conversation with erotic author Helena S Paige

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LOCAL HERO A local NPO is on a mission to make a difference in children’s lives through yoga and exercise

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Travel 92

Rosendal The eastern Free State’s hidden treasure is more romantic than you might think

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least Romantic SA’s most unappealing, unromantic and unenticing date spots

102 UBeRchoppeR Is it a bird? Is it a plane?

Action

106 Behind the scenes Local chocolate like you’ve never imagined it before 115 dRive Packing the new Honda Civic Tourer to the brim, plus our top five hatchbacks

Stuff

119 pRopeRty Lighting to get the mood right 122 money matteRs How to arrange your finances before marriage 124 health Fall in love with yourself this month 126 letteRs & competitions Your thoughts, plus this month’s awesome giveaways 128 colUmn Writing a love letter 101

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EDITORIAL Content Manager Raina Julies Editor Anthony Sharpe anthonys@picasso.co.za Content Co-ordinator Vanessa Payne Copy Editor Lynn Berggren Proofreader Ingrid Graham Editorial Interns Roxanne Jones, Christian Schroeder ART Head of Design Studio Jayne MacĂŠ-Ferguson Designer Mfundo Ndzo Cover Photograph MornĂŠ van Zyl Make-up Artist Cindy Horton using Dermalogica Design Intern Zanele Balfour Production Editor Shamiela Brenner SALES Project Manager Richard White Sales Consultants Stephen Crawford, Bonnie Eksteen, Randall Grace, Eugene Howard, Steve Norval, Marc Plastow, Andre Potgieter, Alec Rompelman, Roman Ross, Clint Smith, Zelda Stein, Robin van Dieman, Shaun Westley OPERATIONS Business Manager Robin Carpenter-Frank robinc@picasso.co.za Financial Accountant Lodewyk van der Walt Senior GM: Newspapers and Magazines Mike Tissong Associate Publisher Jocelyne Bayer KuLuLA.COM CEO Comair Limited Erik Venter MARKETING MANAGER, kulula.com Shaun Pozyn SENIOR BRAND MANAGER, kulula.com Bridgette Ramuluvhana BRAND MANAGER, kulula.com Thembeka Mabaso COMAIR LIMITED 1 Marignane Drive, Bonaero Park, Kempton Park, 1619 Tel 011 921 0111 kulula.com contact centre 0861 KULULA (585852)

To advertise in this magazine, please contact Richard White (Project Manager) on 021 469 2542, or email richardw@picasso.co.za

Copyright: No portion of this magazine may be reproduced in any form without written consent of the publishers.

The publishers are not responsible for unsolicited material. khuluma is published monthly by Picasso Headline Reg: 59/01754/07. The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of Picasso Headline, kulula or Times Media.

All advertisements/advertorials and promotions have been paid for and therefore do not carry any endorsement by the publishers. While every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of its contents, neither kulula, nor the publisher can be held responsible for any omissions or errors, or for any misfortune, injury or damages that may arise therefrom. We reserve the right to edit interviews for layout purposes.

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ÜBER-EDITOR OF THE MONTH

Warren Robertson Love is all you need

W

e don’t love enough. Not people, experiences, ideas, or even just the moment we’re in. I mean, right now, you are reading this on a plane, going somewhere that isn’t your office, or school, or regular life. Maybe you’re coming home from that trip. And yet, many of you are probably sitting there irritated with the way the guy next to you is breathing and wondering where the cabin attendants are with the beers.

This lack of appreciation of things is why whenever anyone asks me – a somewhat cynical person – if I like Valentine’s Day, I tell them I love it. I will admit, however, that it wasn’t always like this. At school I was as popular with the ladies as menopause.

If it weren’t for the chocolates my mom gave me every year, Valentine’s Day would’ve been even more of an ego crushing than it already was. Curse you Steve de Pinna and the armfuls of roses you received each year!

With this in mind, I decided to focus the interviews for this issue away from the overplayed, romantic love of the day, and look instead at those who could help us live in the moment. My first stop was music legend Vusi Mahlasela. I’ve seen Vusi perform a few times, and each time he has inspired overwhelming emotions of happiness in me. And if V-Day isn’t about making other people feel Warren is a Jo’burg-based comedian like that, then just why did we who has appeared on Comedy Central and manufacture this cheesy holiday all of SA’s major comedy stages, as well as in the first place? abroad – from the Edinburgh Fringe Festival to I then chatted to Helena S the Comedy Store in London. His second one-man show, The Great Explorer, debuts at the National Paige, a pseudonym for three Arts Festival in Grahamstown this year, and he ladies, whose quirky sense of appears alongside Deep Fried Man and Chris fun has fired a choose-yourForrest in Still Funnier Than Them. Follow him own-adventure spark into the @WarrenRcomedian, world of erotic novels. www.Facebook.com/indiecomedy and www.warrenrobertson.co.za.

And if all that ain’t enough to make you feel the cheesy love in the air, then I don’t know what is. ■

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picture: morné van zyl

Warren’s creds

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flying 101: planning a romantic getaway has never been easier!

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t’s the month of hearts, roses, chocolates and champagne – all the more reason to whisk your loved one away for a romantic getaway. But you don’t necessarily need two weeks in a tropical paradise to rekindle the flame; a carefully planned weekend away can refuel the fires of love, if you pull it off properly. We can’t play Cupid, but we can make it easier for you to turn on the romance factor from the get-go.

Book a romantic getaway with us and choose from a variety of optional romantic activities to add to your timeout, ensuring that you really impress the pants off your date. With our romance #madeeasy package, you’ll find yourself in the lap of luxury at the Fairmont Zimbali Resort in sunny Durbs.

The package includes two romantic nights’ accommodation in a deluxe room, daily breakfast, complimentary welcome drinks and a bottle of sparkling wine in the room. Your travel arrangements include return economyclass flights from Jo’burg or Lanseria to Durbs, two days’ car rental (Group T) with standard waiver, including 200km free per day, all for only R2 999 per person sharing.

Our optional romantic activities include: a deluxe beach horse ride

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and picnic for two; a moonlight night spa with dinner for two; or a magical botanical garden picnic for you and your darling. It’s okay to be a little cheesy when it comes to romance – your better half will definitely appreciate the little bit of extra effort and it’ll do wonders for your relationship!

While you’re busy planning, don’t forget to sort out all the nitty-gritties.

Imagine walking onto the plane, holding hands, all loved-up, and then having to part ways and sit on opposite sides, only blowing kisses to each other. To avoid this, go to ‘manage my booking’ on our site to get your prepaid seats – this is free 24 hours before the

flight departure – and make sure you end up next to your squeeze instead of someone with a bad case of BO. You don’t need much more than slinky lingerie on a romantic weekend away, which doesn’t take up much space. But if you feel that a free hand baggage allowance of one 7kg bag, plus a small handbag or man-bag, and one 20kg checked bag is a little skimpy, don’t sweat it. Buy extra bags at a discounted rate online, or give our Contact Centre a call on 0861 KULULA (585852).

To book, visit www.kulula.com.

Package subject to availability and legal stuff applies.

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take a break without breaking the budget!

Trev’s Hot Spots

make up in Mauritius

pictures: istock; supplied

H

owzit, my Chinas? February, the month of romance, is here and with it comes a whole lot of expectations. If, like me, you messed up by going down on one knee when your only intention was to tie your shoelaces, then you’ve got a lot to make up for. And nothing says please-forgive-me-for-notasking-you-to-marry-me like a week in Mauritius. The peeps at kulula have come up with a sweet deal that’ll swiftly make you forget any Valentine’s Day drama.

From only R 17 200 per person sharing, you get return flights from Jo’burg to Mauritius on Air Mauritius (including taxes), return airport transfers, seven nights at the 4-star Preskil Beach Resort in a standard room, breakfast and dinner daily, plus a full-day cruise on a catamaran, which includes lunch and drinks onboard. If that’s not enough to make you feel like a fancy pants, I don’t know what will.

The Preskil Resort is off-the-charts amazing. It’s located on a natural private peninsula – so it feels like your own little island of perfection. But don’t worry, you’re not expected to go all Robinson Crusoe here. There are three restaurants and a bar to choose from, both on the beach and by the pool, for whatever grabs your fancy.

If you love activities, this is for you. You can hop on a free ride in a glass-bottomed boat all the way to Ile aux Aigrettes – an

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island nature reserve that will have you scraping your jaw off the floor in amazement. There are also opportunities to snorkel, water-ski, windsurf and canoe at the resort, and for a little bit of extra moola, you can partake in an unforgettable under-the-sea walk, deep-sea fishing or some lekker scuba diving. Plus, there are bicycle and scooter rentals at the resort, in case you want to explore the island further.

If all these activities sound like way too much of a schlep for you, maybe the Preskil Resort’s Ylang Spa is more your vibe. I’m secure enough in my masculinity to admit that a candlelit bath in a tub filled with the petals of tropical flowers gets a giant ‘Yes, please’ from me.

Come night-time, there are bucket loads of evening entertainment, and if you’ve got mini-mes, there’s a baby-sitting service to ensure you and your missus get some fun time of your own. Bonus!

This deal rocks because you pay for six nights, stay for seven, and it’s valid for a set departure on 28 March 2015. It excludes meals and drinks not mentioned, all items of a personal nature and travel insurance.

Standard kulula legal stuff applies.

I’ll level with you: I didn’t get the boyfriend-of-the-century title by ignoring deals like this. So I’m off to Mauritius with my girl. Catch you guys there.

Trev

Since 2008, eBucks and kulula.com have partnered to save countless South Africans from sad holidays at home, watching their piggy banks go on an imposed diet. It’s easy. You can choose to pay for your kulula ticket in eBucks, an FNB card, or any combination of the two, and get sky-high eBucks discounts of up to 40% off on your flight when you book through eBucks Travel online. To join eBucks, visit eBucks.com.

Switch to FNB by visiting your nearest FNB branch, or apply online at www.FNB.co.za.

Rent a car with your flight and get a 10% discount, or get the best rates with Europcar.

Choose your favourite Tsogo Sun hotel and let kulula book your room. Now that’s luxury you can afford.

As a Discovery Vitality member, you can earn Discovery Miles, which you can use towards paying for your next kulula flight.

Protea Hotels ensure your stay with them is as unique as the kulula experience. Try out any one of the hotels – you won’t forget the experience.

twitter.com/kulula facebook.com/iflykulula

THE NOTICEBOARD internet payments made easy Book your flights online and pay for your booking using our safe and secure internet payment solution (powered by SID). This is a simple and speedy way to make your payment directly to us using your existing internet banking facility. To find out more, go to www.kulula.com.

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the cape Town cycle Tour fly your bike with us

Attention all pedal fans! As we hurtle towards the starting line of the 2015 Cape Town Cycle Tour, taking place on 8 March 2015, carefully refer to the procedures below to ensure that your bike gets to Cape Town safely and timeously for the race.

OR TambO and King SHaKa inTeRnaTiOnal aiRpORTS dROp-OFF pROceduReS Dates: 24 February – 6 March 2015 Drop-off area: BidAir Cargo Warehouse at OR Tambo or BidAir Cargo Warehouse King Shaka Times: 08h00 to 18h00, Mondays – Sundays Handling fee (One-way): R300 incl. VAT Contact number: BidAir Cargo Jo’burg – 011 230 4600 Contact number: BidAir Cargo Durbs – 032 815 2316

Very important info:

1. A handling fee of R300 incl. VAT will be charged per bicycle, per flight. Once paid, you will receive your receipt via email.

2. This can be paid by calling the kulula contact centre on 0861 KULULA (585852) anytime between 07h00 and 19h00, Monday to Sunday.

3. We have arranged special bike transport procedures to ensure that your bicycle is given the care it deserves and arrives safely and in time for the race.

When you drop off your bike at the specified drop-off points, remember to bring along the following: * Handling fee receipt * Flight confirmation * Valid proof of identity (ID, driver’s license or passport) * You will be asked to fill out a waybill when you drop off your bicycle, which you will need to present when collecting your bike at the other end.

4. Bring along your waybill and proof of identity when collecting your bike after the race at the relevant airport. Bikes will not be released to friends or family.

5. Bikes must be collected no later than 19 March 2015 at all other airports and 18 March 2015 from Lanseria. Please allow two to three days for your bikes to be returned from Cape Town before collection.

6. Anyone travelling from East London or George will need to call our Contact Centre to make their travel arrangements, as we do not have direct flights to Cape Town from these destinations.

For more info on the transportation of your bike, please visit www.kulula.com.

lanSeRia inTeRnaTiOnal aiRpORT dROp-OFF pROceduReS Dates: 1 – 6 March 2015 Drop-off area: Cycle Drop-Off and Collection Station of the Main Parking Area Times: 06h00 to 19h00, Mondays – Fridays; 07h00 to 17h00, Saturdays – Sundays Handling fee (One-way): R300 incl. VAT Contact number: 011 367 0470 cOllecTiOn aT bidaiR caRgO – cape TOwn inTeRnaTiOnal aiRpORT Dates: 24 February – 2 March 2015 Times: 08h00 to 18h00, Mondays – Sunday Contact number: 083 283 8829 cOllecTiOn aT mulTiSTORey paRKade 1 – cape TOwn inTeRnaTiOnal aiRpORT Dates: 3 – 7 March 2015 Times: 08h00 to 18h00, Tuesday – Saturday biKe dROp-OFF aFTeR THe Race aT cape TOwn inTeRnaTiOnal aiRpORT Dates: 8 – 11 March 2015 Drop-off area: Multistorey parkade 1 Times: 08h00 to 18h00, Sunday – Wednesday What you will receive: You will get a waybill should your bike be going to OR Tambo, King Shaka or Lanseria international airports.

Contact number: 083 283 8829

Happy pedalling!

kulula.com

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hand baggage notice A

s of 2 February 2015, ACSA will assist airlines with reinforcing a stricter hand baggage policy of one piece at 7kg and a *slim-line laptop bag or a small handbag. In effect, only two items are allowed. The dimensions for the 7kg bag should be: 56cm (L) x 36cm (B) x 23cm (H); total dimensions are 115cm, including handles and wheels. For more info on our baggage policy, visit www.kulula.com.

Travellers who don’t meet these requirements will be sent back by ACSA to the relevant airline’s check-in counters. Bummer! * A slim-line laptop bag is specifically designed to fit a laptop and a charger, not clothing or documents.

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#madeeasy It’s the month of love and we’re kicking it off with our new and exciting #madeeasy campaign. The promotion is about getting all of man’s travel packages including flights, hotels, car hire and extra romantic activities all in one place.

Take a glimpse at our billboard executions below. Visit kulula.com or search #madeeasy for all your travel needs.

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wEstERn cApE | GUIDE

What’s on Western Cape z

opera-tunities abound 19-21 February

Opera With an 18-voice chorus accompanied by a piano and drums, The Cape Town Opera’s African Angels are back in SA. After a whirlwind tour of 34 European cities and a sold-out season in the Mother City last year, the Angels will be performing at the Artscape Theatre. Tickets are R150, available from Computicket.

For more info, visit www.artscape.co.za.

Please note: ‘No opera plot can be sensible, for in sensible situations people don’t sing.’ – W.H. Auden

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Jumping for Joy 27-28 February

Extreme sports The organisers of Ultimate X – Africa’s first-ever indoor extreme sports event, featuring BMX, FMX and skate – have promised that this year’s event will be bigger, better, faster and even more epic!

At its brand-new venue at Grand Arena, this promises to be the highlight of the year for any adrenaline junkie. Tickets range from R150 to R250, available from Computicket.

Please note: If procrastination were an extreme sport, I’d compete in it later.

Video didn’t kill the radio star 28 February

z

z

z

text: roxanne jones, christian schroeder; pictures: supplied

Live music His credentials go like this: three world tours; four number one singles; and five Grammy nods. And this month James Blunt will be making SA his pecking ground.

Tickets start at R455, available from Computicket.

Please note: ‘I never liked the sound of my own voice, till it made me rich.’ – James Blunt

Festival, parade SA’s most colourful city will once again play host to the country’s most colourful parade. Cape Town Pride 2015 will commence with a series of parties, panels and lots of drag queens. Come celebrate the strides and commemorate the struggles of the South African LGBTQ+ community in Somerset Street and throughout the city, ending with SA’s biggest pride parade on 1 March. For more info, check out www. capetownpride.org.

Please note: Cape Town Pride is not a group of gay lions.

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Musical theatre South African actor Aubrey Poo stars in David Kramer’s latest show, Orpheus in Africa, as an American impresario who visits Cape Town with his band of Virginian jubilee singers in the late 19th century.

Expect well-known jubilee spirituals such as ‘Roll, Jordan Roll’ and ‘The Gospel Train’. Tickets start at R130, available from Computicket. For more information, visit www.thefugard.com.

Please note: You can always just watch 12 Years a Slave backwards if you want a happy ending.

bonfire nights 11 & 12 February (Cape Town) 14 & 15 February (Jo’burg)

Come out for pride 20 February – 1 March

z

Wild, Wild afriCa 28 January – 22 February

Music festival The party people over at 94.5FM promise that KDay 2015 will be even bigger and a whole lot better this time around. For the first time ever, one of the biggest music festivals in the Mother City will blow the roof at Newlands Stadium. So, pack a picnic basket, grab the kids and come have some fun. Tickets are R240 for adults and R100 for kids, available at www.kfm.co.za/kday.

Please note: A blonde bought an AM radio. It took her a month to figure out that she can listen to it at night.

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WESTERN CAPE | GUIDE

RECIPE RICOTTA GNOCCHI (SERVES 4) FOR THE GNOCCHI 250g full-cream ricotta 58g parmesan cheese, finely grated 2 large egg yolks, whisked 3g lemon zest 90g flour, sieved FOR THE SAUCE 250ml cream 1/4 cup grated parmesan 2 egg yolks Salt and pepper • •

text: anna trapido; pictures: supplied

• • • • • •

Mix ricotta, parmesan, egg yolks and zest well to combine. Mix in half the flour.

Place the dough on a work surface and sprinkle with the rest of the flour.

Knead gently until combined, but not for longer than a minute.

Divide into four equal parts and cover.

Roll and cut.

Sauté gnocchi in a pan, once golden brown, remove from heat and add sauce.

Mix well and check for seasoning.

Place onto a large serving platter and garnish with oven-dried tomatoes and pea shoots.

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Eat Western Cape A SLICE OF PARADISE

They say that if you love something, set it free. The free-range rosemary chicken with quinoa, feta, tomatoes and a soft herb salad at Café Paradiso may not necessarily be free, but it is delicious. And the setting, an oasis of shade and vintage décor, is the perfect place to take someone you love. If you’re not free of the little ones, they’re welcome too, with pizza making and cupcake decorating on offer as kids’ projects. Fresh pasta is made on the premises and a farm-style bakery produces fresh breads and delicious treats daily.

110 Kloof Street, Cape Town, 021 423 8653, www.cafeparadiso.co.za.

MEETING ‘MEATBALLS’

It is common for Italian women to call their lovers ‘polpetto’ (meatball).

Chef Brad Ball (formerly of Bistro Sixteen82 at Steenberg Wine Estate) is now cooking up polpetto and so much more at his contemporary Italian restaurant, Volare, at Peddlars on the Bend. Those who don’t want polpetto can savour a delicious ricotta gnocchi, which chef Brad says is the most romantic dish on his menu, because ‘it can be eaten with a fork, leaving the second hand available for hand holding’. For those not in the Cape Town area, chef Brad has kindly given us the recipe to try at home.

13 Spaanschemat River Road, Constantia, Cape Town, 021 794 7747, www.peddlars.co.za.

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WESTERN CAPE | GUIDE

Dress Western Cape If you’re hoping to land a romantic date this Valentine’s Day, you’d better make sure you look good!

text: christian schroeder, roxanne jones; pictures: supplied

(Clockwise from top left) All ladies need a good side-gather dress. This light-green piece from Edit is the perfect fit. R385, available at Spree.co.za.

This light-grey, easy-to-wear Owen suede slip-on is perfect for a stroll on the beach or a fun night out. R899, available at Country Road and Woolworths stores.

December might be gone, but the sun is not.

Guys, grab yourself this trendy paper trilby hat.

R210, available at Woolworths stores.

Big bags don’t just look good, they’re super versatile too! This textured trim shopper is a winner when it comes to style and size. R499, available at Woolworths stores.

Muscle tees like this one from Goliath can make one look a little overly proud. But hey, if you’ve got it, work it! R299, available at Spree.co.za.

These turquoise lace shorts from Style Republic are super brave – but super fun! R175, available at Spree.co.za.

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GUIDE | WESTERN CAPE

To the manor born

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t was one of those Cape Town days – bright, cool, and as crisp as a wafer biscuit. I had the smell of salt in my nostrils and the taste of a rapidly melting orange frozen lolly on my tongue. My mind was serene and beautiful, and I felt like the only person privy to this gem of a day, when thunk! In a flurry of flailing arms and invective, I tumbled beneath the weight of a perfectly coiffed, heavily bearded string bean who’d previously been planted on a skateboard. ‘Watch where you’re going, idiot!’ he cursed as he picked up his board with a flick of his fringe and headed off on his way … continuing to grin idiotically at the iPhone perched at the end of his selfie stick, with nary a glance at the path ahead. Sea Point Promenade wasn’t as safe as I may have anticipated.

I hastened away towards Beach Road, dodging a pair of terrifyingly manicured poodles as they jostled for a taste of my ankles. A platinum-blond child stared unblinkingly at me as the

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purple blob of his ice cream dropped from the cone onto the soft, green grass. My Spidey-sense tingled and I spun round just in time to dodge an errant football. I panicked, breaking into a run, my lolly streaking away and depositing Jackson Pollock-style neon-orange splotches all over my white T-shirt.

‘Good afternoon, sir,’ said the receptionist at the Premier Hotel Cape Manor – located literally across the road from the Promenade – as I skirted across the marble-floored lobby, barely pausing to nod hello before dashing up to my room. I locked the door, pumped up the air conditioning and flopped down onto my springy and enormous bed. After channel-hopping for an hour or so, I headed downstairs and grabbed a drink from the cocktail bar, which I sipped while bathing in the same glorious sun from the safety of the hotel’s wooden deck. I even got some work done using the hotel’s Wi-Fi (250 MB per day included; 500 MB if you’re

conferencing) before taking a plunge in the pool tucked away at the back.

Declining to venture out once more into the melee, I sent my shirt to the in-house laundry and sat down to 600g of sticky, comforting, gloriously messy ribs at the hotel’s Promenade Restaurant – a bright and airy space opening off the lobby – followed by an indulgent chunk of rooibos-infused malva pudding. Dangerously full, I took a stroll around the conference facilities and business centre before grabbing a cup of coffee and returning to the deck, enjoying my own private vantage point on the sea, salt and breeze.

1 Marais Road, Sea Point, 086 111 5555, www.premierhotels.co.za.

pictures: supplied

Anthony Sharpe fills his nostrils with the scent of the sea at the Premier Hotel Cape Manor.

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WeSTeRN cAPe | guide

Alluring Anura An estate in the Simonsberg Mountains offers a one-stop destination for all things delicious and delectable.

text: christian schroeder; pictures: supplied

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nura Vineyards is fast becoming one of those names that every hipster and/or millennial (not that those two are mutually exclusive) worth his salt should know and overuse. Situated in the foothills of the Simonsberg Mountains, with a view of the Stellenbosch valley that’s absolutely picture-perfect, Anura includes a gourmet deli, a cheesery, a charcuterie (named 12 pigs, no less), a brewery and a tasting room with the best view of anything east of Bloubergstrand.

The farm in its current form was created back in 1989 by the Bouma family,

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and has been whittled and carved into one of the most stylish and breathtaking working wine estates in the South African wine region. Red wine is their passion, and with plantings of Mourvédre, Petit Verdot, Grenache, Pinot Noir, Sangiovese and Malbec, among more classic, locally grown varieties, they aim to produce handcrafted wines for individuals who are looking for something unique and distinctive. ‘Wine is not merely a product,’ say the Boumas. ‘It is a culture that has existed and evolved for over 2 000 years. We can only build on this through imagination, integrity and passion.’

The Wagon Trail is a microbrewery with

a contemporary industrial aesthetic that offers you the opportunity to sample a wide variety of finely crafted beers, while seeing the production process in action – perfect for Instagram-ready moments with your mates.

Now, looking to the future, Anura is expanding into something even more splendid. A low-density lifestyle estate is currently in the works, which, when completed, will include a retirement village and a series of large stand-alone homes for those of you who want to taste this lifestyle (and all of that delicious produce) every day.

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gAUtEng | GUIDE

What’s on Gauteng z

Say yeS! 26-27 February (Jo’burg) 1 March (Cape Town)

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text: roxanne jones, christian schroeder; pictures: supplied

Musical tribute US-based group The Fab Four present a musical tribute to The Beatles at the Barnyard Theatre.

Covering music from The Beatles’ entire career, Duck Chowles and his team are ready to keep you on your feet with hits such as ‘A Day in the Life’, ‘I Feel Fine’ and ‘All You Need is Love’. Tickets are R120, call 011 234 2033 to book.

For more info, visit www.barnyardtheatres.co.za.

Please note: Why couldn’t the athlete listen to music? Because she broke the record.

rock up 14 & 26 February

Tribute show Join a hip-swinging tribute to the King of Rock at Elvis Forever, on at the Barnyard Theatre. This spectacular show takes you back to Elivs Presley’s popular hits such as ‘That’s All Right’, ‘Heartbreak Hotel’ and ‘Viva Las Vegas’. Tickets are R120, contact 011 823 6933 to book. For more information on the event and venue, visit www.barnyardtheatres.co.za.

Please note: What is an archaeologist’s favourite music? Rock!

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Black iS Back 29 February

Comedy show Showcasing the country’s top comedians, the Blacks Only Comedy Show at Emperors Palace is the fastest-growing comedy brand in South Africa. Join well-known comedian David Kau and friends for a night of mirth. Tickets are R200-R350, available from Computicket. For more info, contact 011 928 1213.

Please note: What kind of jokes do comedians make in the shower? Clean jokes.

Show up 4-8 March

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Beat it 8 February

Live music Celebrating the release of his new single ‘Yes’, Grammy Award-winning singer and songwriter Jason Mraz will perform at Jo’burg’s The Teatro and Cape Town’s Grand Arena at GrandWest. Tickets are R450-R750 for the Jo’burg show, and R375-R650 for the Cape Town gig, available from Computicket.

Please note: What do you call a musician with a problem?

A trebled man.

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Exhibition The Flufftail Festival, on at the Checkers Forecourt in Sandton City, is the perfect place to learn about nature conservation and our beautiful planet. The exhibition is designed to create awareness of our planet’s precious freshwater resources, wetland habitats, water birds, and how we can protect them. For more info, contact 083 636 1060, or email events@birdlife.org.za, or visit www.birdlife.org.za.

Please note: Frozen water works just like ice.

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nurture nature 2-6 February

Carnival For a fun-filled family experience, hop on over to the biggest social extravaganza at the Randfontein Show, on at Greenhills Stadium. Expect some of the best local produce, carnival rides and out-of-this-world entertainment for the whole family. Tickets are R60-R80, available from Computicket.

Please note: Carnivals are a metaphor for South Africa – colourful and full of crazy people.

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GUIDE | GAUTENG

THE SEED OF LOVE

Palestinian chef Hanan Ahmed and her husband Mohammad Sultan arrived in Johannesburg from the al-Shati camp in Gaza in November 2013. They now run a tiny Mayfair bakery, called King Arabic Sandwiches, where almost everything comes topped with libido-boosting sesame seeds. Their sesameladen, sunflower-shaped manakeesh zaatar flat breads are superb. This eatery is strictly Halaal and no alcohol is served, but their fragrant hibiscus juice more than makes up for the lack of liquor.

Shop 2 Hanover Street, corner of 9th Avenue, Mayfair, Jo’burg, 074 292 6191.

COAXING CARDAMOM

The little black seeds found inside cardamom pods not only contain androgens (the hormones that increase sexual desire in men) but also cineole, a compound known to stimulate the central nervous system. All of that sounds like a good start to a Valentine’s Day dinner. So where to find a cardamom-rich meal? Thava Indian Restaurant serves keralan (top left), Indian flavours in small tapas-sized portions, which lends itself to palaterousing sampling and share-share across the table of love. Whether you pick pooripathra yam leaf rolls, ghee-laden butter chicken or gulab jamun balls dripping with spice-infused sugar syrup, cardamom is everywhere.

44 The Avenue & Grove Rd, Norwood, 011 728 2826, www.tava.co.za.

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120ml olive oil 1 onion, finely chopped 400g risotto rice 1 litre fish stock 250g butter 100g parmesan cheese, grated Medium langoustine tails (6 per portion) Salt to taste Crushed black peppercorns to taste 4 small cloves of garlic, crushed • • • • •

•

Sauté finely chopped onion and garlic with a little olive oil in a pan.

Add risotto rice and sauté for three minutes. Do not brown the onion or rice.

Add in the fish stock, cover the rice and cook until rice is cooked to your liking.

Add in 3/4 of the butter and grated parmesan cheese.

Grill off the langoustine tails in the remaining butter with some olive oil (to stop the butter from burning).

Season to taste, place the cooked langoustines over the risotto. Serve hot.

text: anna trapido; pictures: supplied

Eat Gauteng

RECIPE SAFFRON RISOTTO WITH LANGOUSTINE TAILS (SERVES 2 TO 4)

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GAUTENG | GUIDE

Dress Gauteng

From Sandton to Soweto – we all know what a stylish woman and a well-dressed man looks like.

text: christian schroeder, roxanne jones; pictures: supplied

(Clockwise from top left) Look super sexy with this multicoloured, stripe-print dress from She’s Cool. R285, available at Spree.co.za.

Any decent T-shirt collection should have this red-striped Lansdowne T-shirt from Smith & Jones, it’ll fit right in. R350, available at Spree.co.za.

Not that into the wire frame? Compromise with these stylish tortoise-shell sunglasses. R144, available at Woolworths stores.

Some days you need extra glam, but without breaking the bank. This blue, green and brown tribal chain necklace from Woolworths is ideal.

R120, available at Woolworths stores.

This coral Hanky cardigan from Edge will billow in the wind, and look absolutely gorgeous! R375, available at Spree.co.za.

There’s no denying that high-tops are very comfortable. Grab this pair of striped lace-ups.

R210, available at Woolworths stores.

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GAUTENG | GUIDE

The Resident will see you now Trevor Crighton sets the romantic bar impossibly high with a boutique stay at one of Jo’burg’s most prestigious addresses.

pictures: supplied

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here are boutique hotels … and there are boutique hotels. The former is often a secret code for a slightly glamorous B&B, with modest but stylish accommodation. The meaning of the latter is fully revealed at The Residence.

Being driven through the Jacarandalined streets of Houghton in the hotel’s Wi-Fi-enabled Rolls-Royce, sipping a drink, is only the first step to understanding.

Being discreetly greeted by the attentive, but unintrusive staff on arrival, and not having to spare a thought for your luggage, is another. But if you didn’t get the hint by then, taking in the view above Jo’burg’s treetops from your private wooden deck outside the penthouse suite, the jacuzzi gurgling in the background, should drive the point home.

There are 12 luxury rooms and suites in total at The Residence, but if you’re

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aiming to impress, inspire or indulge with your romantic getaway, your only options are either the penthouse or the Madiba suite. The penthouse is nearly 200m2 of pure luxury, with ‘plush’ being a poor descriptor for the décor. As if the sprawling deck didn’t offer goodenough views, there’s also a skylight above the bed for stargazing. Oh, and there’s a second, more private deck with an outdoor bath and shower. There’s a formal seating area, fireplace and chandeliers around every corner.

The Madiba suite is cosier – you’ll lose the treetop views, but gain extra, ultraluxurious space. The Residence’s original brass-and-polished wood lift, now decommissioned, serves as a personal wine and champagne cellar. Make your selection there and settle down to dinner in the dining area on the deck. Dessert in the jacuzzi is optional.

If you can tear yourself away from your suite, there are two spa options, again with the most ridiculous views, and a restaurant serving up edible art which competes with the canvasses on every wall. Two pools – one heated – sit alongside the tennis court in gorgeous gardens, which help give the impression that you couldn’t possibly be in the heart of Jo’burg. A bar, a piano lounge and even a boat lounge – there are plenty of discreet corners in which to cosy up.

Everywhere you go at The Residence, you’re surrounded by art, light and opulence. You’ll never be able to stay in a chain hotel again.

Penthouse stays are R4 480 per night, while an evening in the Madiba suite is priced at R5 110. Luxury rooms and suites start at R2 820 per night.

4th Ave, Houghton Estate, 011 853 2480, www.theresidence.co.za.

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kwAzUlU-nAtAl | GUIDE

What’s on KZN

Comedy show Darren Maul will host the 2015 edition of East Coast Radio’s Kings and Queens of Comedy, on at the ICC Durban Arena. With 20 of SA’s most talented, not to mention hilarious, comedians of all shapes and sizes, this is sure to be the funniest night of the year! Tickets are R325, available from Computicket. For more info, visit www.ecr.co.za.

Please note: What do you call the guy hanging around the club, asking for money? The MC.

What’s on Garden Route z text: roxanne jones; pictures: supplied

someThing grand 28 February (Port Elizabeth)

Party The Grand White, hosted at a secret venue, is bigger and better than ever before. Expect more than 8 000 people, delicious food and live music. The dress code is ‘white with a touch of green’. Guests can bring their own picnic basket or purchase one via the event’s website. Tickets are R240-R360. For bookings, email contact@thegrandwhite.com.

Please note: What’s worse than a mystery party venue?

A mystery party guest list.

Electronic music Platinum-selling group Goldfish is ready to keep you on your feet at Saturday Night Live ft Goldfish, on at the scenic Durban Botanic Gardens. This South African electronic dance group has gone from performing in Cape Town’s top beach clubs to the Amsterdam Olympic Stadium and landing on the top 10 of the US iTunes dance chart. Tickets are R60-R140, available at www.webtickets.co.za.

Please note: What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.

Three’s a charm 1 March

Triathlon The Midlands Ultra Triathlon should be pencilled into every athlete’s calendar!

Catering for participants of all capabilities, the day includes corporate team challenges, as well as individual races, so there is no excuse for you not to get your run, swim and cycle on. For more information and to book your spot, visit www.midlandsultra.com.

Please note: If at first you don’t succeed, tri, tri again.

Tea Time 1 March (East London)

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Marathon Durban will once again play host to the Hillcrest Marathon this month. Starting at sunrise, runners will follow the 21.1km and 42.2km winding routes through the suburb, with refreshment stations and plenty of scenery. Winners will receive medals as well as massive bragging rights! For more info, visit www.hillcrestvillagers.co.za.

Please note: ‘In every walk with nature, one receives far more than he seeks.’ – John Muir, 19th-century naturalist

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The hiLLcresT husTLe 8 February

Craft market Hop on over to the lush green grass of Tea in the Trees for the Crafts and Farmers’ Market. Nature fanatics can take a walk in the breathtaking forest, while foodies can enjoy the fresh local produce and local crafts, with sandpits and jungle gyms for the kids. For more information, contact 072 611 2367 or email info@teainthetrees.com.

Please note: Which is the funniest condiment at the table?

Lmayo.

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KWAZULU-NATAL | GUIDE

RECIPE MOTHER-IN-LAW CLAMS (SERVES 4 TO 6) Romance leads to weddings and weddings lead to mothers-in-law. This dish is known as mother-in-law clams in Thailand, because the clams open their tiny mouths in the pot and won’t close them again.

850g whole clams, cleaned 15ml cooking oil 1 tablespoon crushed garlic 1 fresh red chilli, finely chopped 1 tablespoon Thai chilli paste with soy bean oil 1 teaspoon ground bean paste 4 tablespoons oyster sauce 3 tablespoons light soy sauce 1 tablespoon white sugar 10g fresh basil leaves •

text: anna trapido; pictures: supplied

•

• •

•

Heat the wok with cooking oil to a high heat, then add garlic and stir for a few seconds.

Add the chilli, clams, Thai chilli paste, ground bean paste, 1/5 cup of water and stir fry until the contents boil.

Once it boils put a lid on the wok, reduce the heat and simmer for one minute.

Open the lid and add the soy sauce, oyster sauce, sugar and basil and stir fry until the sauce boils and a delicious fragrance is emitted.

Serve hot.

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Eat KwaZulu-Natal FARM STALL GUIDE

There’s nothing more romantic than wandering from farm stall to farm stall with someone you love. If human someones have let you down, rather take your dog along (unlike people, dogs never lie about love). Farm Stall to Farm Stall: A Food Lover’s Guide to Farm Stalls in South Africa follows the road routes between major centres and lists all the farm stalls along said routes. All the useful information is there – contact details, opening times, GPS co-ordinates.

And each farm stall has a detailed dog-friendly rating.

Farm Stall to Farm Stall: A Food Lover’s Guide to Farm Stalls in South Africa

by Jennifer Stern, Map Studio, R220, www.mapstudio.co.za.

BASIL LOVE

Love is not necessarily cloying and sweet. Sometimes it is downright dangerous and/or daft. According to the Mediterranean legend of ‘Isabella and the Pot of Basil’, two star-crossed lovers had a dreadful time of it because the boy (Lorenzo) was decapitated at the hands of Isabella’s (the girl’s) brothers. What to do with a severed head? Isabella chose to plant the decapitated head under a potted basil plant. So, where to find basil in KZN? Spice Restaurant and Bar Lounge is the new star of the KZN North Coast. Everything chef Linda Govender cooks is a delicious fusion of Indian Ocean and European culinary styles.

Vegetarians adore her mushrooms with basil, served in a light Balti curry sauce.

Bali Hai, North Beach Road, Westbrook, 032 943 3558, spiceonflorida@telkomsa.co.za.

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KWAZULU-NATAL | GUIDE

Dress KZN

You Durbanites and your amazing weather are the envy of most other South Africans, so you guys better look good while enjoying the summer sun!

text: christian schroeder, roxanne jones; pictures: supplied

(Clockwise from top left) This hardware neck maxi dress features a striking metal necklace – enough bling to draw a potential lover. R899, available at Witchery and Woolworths stores.

Remember when you made that New Year’s resolution to be more active? Why not take up hiking with these Pampa tan high-cuff boots?

R1 699, available at Spree.co.za.

This top-class black rivet trim cross-body bag from Woolworths is what every girl needs.

R199.95, available at Woolworths stores.

This trendy brown belt is the perfect statement piece for almost any occasion. R599, available at Trenery and Woolworths stores.

These blue quilt-detailed sneakers from Pierre Cardin are super cute, not to mention affordable.

R180, available from Spree.co.za.

These Lancaster shorts from Smith & Jones come in five different colours – one for every day of the working week. R549, available at Spree.co.za.

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kWAZULU-NATAL | GUIDE

Royal hideaway Dexter Douglas tries to drag himself out of his hammock at AmaKhosi Safari Lodge.

pictures: jonathan bucke

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ne of the first things that greet guests staying at AmaKhosi Safari Lodge is the sound of one’s car driving over an electrified cattle grid. This may seem like a non-event to most people, but it means you’re really in the bush – bush that’s home to really big cats.

An easy four-hour drive from Durban, AmaKhosi Private Game Reserve is a 5 000-hectare Big Five reserve just south of Pongola in northern KwaZuluNatal. Though not a large reserve in comparison to others in the area, it’s completely exclusive and home to a fantastic variety of game – including cheetah, lion (with two clutches of newly arrived cubs), 15 species of antelope, and a 27-strong herd of elephant – spread out among beautiful bushveld, riverine forest and open plains.

Morning and evening game drives, bush walks and seasonal frogging will see AmaKhosi’s expert guides track game and get you up close for incredible sightings. The reserve’s male lion is a

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fantastic specimen, as are the svelte brother cheetahs that roam the plains.

There’s also plenty for twitchers to get excited about in and around the lodge. There are 420 species of birds that can be seen on the reserve, many of them from the comfort of your own room. A few pairs of African paradise flycatchers nest in the thickets between rooms, with a variety of sunbirds and robin-chats flitting about during the day.

And then there’s the Narina trogon – one of the holy grails of birding – whose call one of the rangers can mimic so well that the birds often fly in to investigate the sound.

The lodge itself is luxurious without being stuffy. The central reception, lounge and dining area is set on a deck overlooking the Mkuze River, and even here there is plenty to see, like waterbuck and kudu bedding down for the night on the riverbank, birds of prey effortlessly ascending and descending on thermals, and kingfishers darting into the water.

The food is to die for, with a massive breakfast spread, four-course dinners and a high tea that would make Cecil John Rhodes faint, and of course, a fully stocked bar. Six luxury suites are set among the trees overlooking the river, each with a separate bedroom, lounge, massive bathroom, outdoor shower and private deck. Be warned: once installed in one of the hammocks, keeping one eye half open for game, you might never get up again. There are also two honeymoon suites (perfect for V-Day), which up the ante even more, offering guests their own private plunge pool.

In a way, the bush here is much louder than the city – bush babies screech, nightjars fill the air with their distinctive call, insects saw and the Mkuze River gurgles ever on – and yet it’s the perfect white noise for a dreamless sleep, making AmaKhosi the ideal place for a thrilling but restful getaway.

Amazulu Private Game Reserve, Pongola, 034 414 1157, www amakhosi.com.

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GUIDE | GARDEN ROUTE

OAT ’EM UP

Dr Alan Hirch, of the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago, has conducted research that indicates porridge oats significantly raises male testosterone levels. So it seems sensible to pop along to the Saturday morning Wild Oats Community Farmers’ Market in the quaint town of Sedgefield. Real farm vegetables, free-range poultry, good bread and other tempting delights are on offer for you and your Valentine’s date. And of course, there should be some oats too.

Sedgefield, 082 376 5020, wildoatsmarket@gmail.com.

FEELING CHEESY?

Remember that St Valentine himself was a 14th-century celibate who was clubbed to death and then beheaded. So feeling negative about Valentine’s Day is as traditional as chocolates and flowers. But sometimes an adored needs ways of keeping an uninvited adorer at bay. Stinky cheese breath is a good deterrent to kissing. The Cheesehouse has a particularly potent sheepmilk Roquefort that should do the trick. If the cheese doesn’t work, give this chicken-wings recipe (right) a try. They are very tasty, but little bits always get stuck in between the teeth – which will surely make most people not want to kiss you.

169 Main Road, Walmer, Port Elizabeth, 041 581 5519, www.cheesehouse.co.za.

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20 plump chicken wings 2 tablespoons (30ml) clear honey 3cm piece of fresh ginger, peeled and grated 1 garlic clove, crushed 1 1/2 teaspoons Chinese five spice 2 teaspoons soy sauce 3 tablespoons orange marmalade 1/2 teaspoon grated orange zest 1 tablespoon sunflower oil • • •

•

Mix all the ingredients together and leave the chicken to marinate for two hours.

Preheat the oven to 180°C. Place marinated wings in a roasting tray with a few spoonfuls of marinade and roast until cooked through and golden (about 15 minutes), turning occasionally to ensure that they don’t stick to the tray, and adding more marinade as required.

Make sure that by the end of the cooking process all of the marinade has been brushed onto the wings as a glaze.

text: anna trapido; pictures: supplied

Eat Garden Route

RECIPE SPICY CHICKEN WINGS (SERVES 6)

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2015/01/12 9:21 AM

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GARDEN ROUTE | GUIDE

Dress Garden Route It’s still summer, so you can still look cool, fresh and ready for the beach at any moment – here’s how.

text: christian schroeder, roxanne jones; pictures: supplied

(Clockwise from top left) Keen for sundowners?

Slip into this black-and-white spliced linen dress, and you’re good to go. R1 799, available at Trenery and Woolworths stores.

Some guys have issues with wearing floral; others pull it off with pride. Prove which one you are with these camo shorts from Tokyo Tigers.

R799, available at Spree.co.za.

These mirror reflective aviators are just the thing you need to complete your beach look. R199, available at Witchery and Woolworths stores.

Some brands always get it right. These trashed boyfriend jeans from Witchery are on point! R899, available at Woolworths stores.

Kids need to look stylish too. Get them a pair of navy-blue vulcanised sneakers from Soviet. R270, available at Spree.co.za.

When’s the last time you ladies updated your LBD? This lace, cocktail dress is perfect! R625, available at Spree.co.za.

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2015/01/21 4:24 PM

GARDEN ROUTE | GUIDE

Real-life romance There aren’t many places in SA that feel like they’ve been taken from the pages of a romance novel, but Helen Hinkley found one at the Kurland Hotel, just outside Nature’s Valley.

pictures: mark peddle

W

e live in a fabulously vibrant country, full of colour, life and noise. But it’s not too full of misty hills, rolling fields and galloping horses delivering cleft-chinned strangers to your doorstep. That is, unless you take a meander along the Garden Route to Kurland Hotel, in The Crags – a short distance from Nature’s Valley.

Not only are the surroundings breathtakingly beautiful (think perfectly manicured green lawns, pastures filled with thoroughbred horses and soft green hills fading off into the horizon), but there are also more than enough opportunities for romance and wooing right at your doorstep.

The white wedding gazebo is a good place to start. This isn’t just any gazebo; it’s a palatial affair on the edge of a pristine lawn – you can even catch a helicopter in, if that’s your style. There’s a beautiful lake too, which reflects the setting sun as you gaze lovingly into

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your paramour’s eyes. And a rose garden brimming with sweetly scented roses that line the pathways to the really rather wonderful suites. Oh yes, I did say suites: complete with four-poster beds, decadent bathtubs and chaise longues – ideal for lounging about while sipping on a few glasses of champagne.

There’s plenty to do at Kurland too, all of it suitably romantic. Every afternoon, tea and cake is served in the library (silver teapots and fine bone-china teacups, naturally). There’s a decadent spa on the premises, a sparkling blue swimming pool just begging for a lithe young beauty to climb out of, and of course, many opportunities to ride the horses – through the property or along the nearby beach. And then there’s the romantic candlelit dinners, cozy picnics made for two and long, lazy breakfasts on offer. There really is no shortage of picture-postcard romantic moments waiting to be plucked from your stay.

Best of all? There’s no schedule imposed on you while you choose to while away your days any way you and your lover like. No meal times, no organised activities, nothing but the chance to unwind and take in the mesmerising surroundings. Mention that you’re on honeymoon and a treasure box of delights await, including private breakfasts and intimate dinners served at secret, secluded spots on the estate’s charming property.

Of course, there’s no reason for you to play by the romance novel rules either.

There are mountain bikes, quad bikes and polo instruction on offer, as well.

Oh yes, I did say polo instruction.

Because that’s the kind of place this is – the kind that has horses galloping passed as you sip on a cup of tea, the kind that could just make your romance novel dreams a reality…

The Crags, Plettenberg Bay, 044 534 8082, www.kurland.co.za.

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BEAUTY | GUIDE

Style your love

To make your Valentine’s heart skip more than just a beat, get date-night ready with these easy-to-use beauty products.

text: roxanne jones; pictures: supplied

(Clockwise from top left) The GHD is currently one of the most useful hairstyling tools on the market. You can use it to make long, luscious curls, or you can opt for the popular poker-straight strands. R1 900-R 2900, available at Partners Hair Design and leading stockists.

Nothing is more off-putting than a pair of neglected hands, half-worn nail polish and ragged cuticles. Impress your date with an ultra-chic manicure that you can do yourself with this easyto-use QVS – the starter set. R99.95, available at selected Woolworths stores.

A bright smile is a high priority for every date, but that doesn’t mean you need to fork out thousands of rands to get pearly whites. Invest in a White Glow Extreme whitening pen to enhance the smile that you’ll be giving your lover. R160, available at selected Clicks stores.

When it comes to make-up, nothing rivals the power of red lipstick. To look selfie perfect, get the delicious Yardley Longwear Strawberry Daiquiri.

R99.95, available at all Yardley stockists.

Your barber budget is probably low this time of the year, so why not do it yourself at home with this Wahl Homepro basic haircutting machine? R129, available at Dischem.

A perfectly trimmed beard is the most on-trend accessory this season. Keep these edges detained with a state-of-the-art Gillette Fusion Proglide Power Silvertouch kit, for that handsome yet easy-going appeal. R129, available at Dischem.

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BEAUTY | GUIDE

A rose by any other name…

Smell as sweet as you like with these top summer fragrances.

text: roxanne jones; pictures: supplied

(Clockwise from top left) With its attractive design and charming packaging, Thomas Sabo Charm Rose EdP offers a strong flowery smell. The fruity notes in this seductive female fragrance are sure to attract loads of admirers. R795, available at selected Foschini stores.

Voyage Parfum does exactly what its name says: takes you to exotic places. The fragrance starts with sparkly citrus notes, and settles into a warm and subtle fragrance. This is a unisex scent, and it could make you the envy of the night if your date decides to wear it too. R1 549 for a 100ml and R1 094 for a 35ml, available at Stuttafords.

With a bottle that reflects details of the iconic trench coat, My Burberry EdP has a delightful smell with top notes of rose and citrus. This youthful, female fragrance captures the smell of a garden fresh after summer rainfall. R595, available at selected Woolworths stores.

Burberry Brit Rhythm is a refreshing masculine scent with top notes of lavender, citrus and pink pepper. This fragrance will delight the senses, with base notes of berry and lemon adding an outdoorsy flair. Perfect for sundowners at the beach or a late-night date at a fancy spot. R675.75, available at selected Woolworths stores.

Terre d’Hermès Eau Très Fraîche is a glorious representation of fresh citrus fruits. This light, male fragrance is perfect for summer, as it cools your skin and lasts up to eight hours. This perfume would go well with a summer picnic. R1 450, available at selected Foschini stores.

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guide | top tipple

WAYs GIVEAage 126

Love potions

See p etails. for d

Ingrid Graham puts the dizzy in aphrodisiac with these scintillating concoctions.

Foreplay

Absolut blueberry smash • 2 measures Absolut Vodka • 1 measure simple syrup (equal parts cooled dissolved sugar/water) • 1 measure lemon juice • 10 whole blueberries Muddle blueberries and syrup in a mixing glass. Add Absolut Vodka and lemon juice.

Fill with ice cubes. Stir and strain into a cocktail glass. Garnish with a mint leaf.

If that’s a bit too complicated for you, serve Mainstay Piña Colada premix – a delicious blend of Mainstay, pineapple and coconut – in a tall glass, and garnish with a pineapple wedge and cherry. Just be sure to pour it in the next room so you can boast about your cocktail-mixing skills!

The dinner

Starters of oysters on ice with Glass Memoires, a luxury Méthode Cap Classique that will titillate your senses as it gives way to complex flavours of zesty lime and baked bread after-notes.

Glass Memoires captures the romance

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and opulence of times gone by. Produced from premium grapes exclusively from the Uitkyk Estate, the wine is a tribute to momentous moments and occasions worth remembering. Price: R125.

For mains, include dishes with asparagus, broccoli, avocado and pumpkin seeds. All are considered super aphrodisiacs with properties that heighten desire.

Make the wine Muratie’s Ansela van de Caab – an award-winning blend of Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot and Cabernet Franc – flaunting rich, savoury flavours of black olive tapenade, cassis, and perfumed sandalwood. According to a study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, women who drank a glass of red wine daily reported higher levels of sexual desire compared with teetotallers or those who only drank occasionally. Price: R95.

The desserT:

Include libido boosters like watermelon medallions, figs and raspberries topped with fresh cream. Impress your date with the rare, seductive Macushla Noble Late Harvest 2012 from Shannon Vineyards in Elgin. Made from Pinot Noir grapes, this wine is perfectly balanced with a delicate salmon pink hue, enticing fragrance and strawberry character. ‘Macushla’ is an Irish term of affection meaning: my darling.

Price: R185 per 375ml bottle.

The aFTerglow

Deep dark love • 1 measure Kahlua Coffee Liqueur • 1 measure crème de cacao • 2 measures Russian Bear Spiced Vanilla Vodka Shake all ingredients together with ice, strain into a cocktail glass. Garnish with a couple of whole coffee beans or chocolate shavings.

With these under your belt, who needs Love Potion No. 9? * Alcohol sale prohibited to persons under 18 years of age.

picture: istock

I

t’s said that certain foods like avocado, blueberries, watermelon, red wine and dark chocolate enhance libido. So, here are some potions to spice up your romantic adventure.

kulula.com

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2015/01/12 10:12 AM

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2015/01/12 10:13 AM

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WATCH | GUIDE

WAYS GIVEAage 126

Watch this…

See p etails. for d

JUPITER ASCENDING

text: anthony sharpe; pictures: supplied

SELMA Release date: 6 February It may not sound like the ideal date film, but this historical drama about the 1965 Selmato-Montgomery voting-rights marches should be on your list of films to watch this year. Selma focuses on the tumultuous period in 1965, when Dr Martin Luther King, Jr. (David Oyelowo) led a campaign to secure equal voting rights in the face of violent opposition – which ultimately led to President Johnson signing the Voting Rights Act of 1965, one of the most significant victories for the Civil Rights Movement. It paints an honest portrait of Luther King, Jr., brought to life by Oyelowo, and signals another feather in the cap of director Ava DuVernay.

Anticipatometer: ■ ■ ■ ■ ■

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Release date: 6 February The Wachowski brothers are back with a bang.

Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis) was born under a night sky, with signs predicting that she was destined for great things. Now she wakes up every day to her mundane cleaner job and an endless run of bad breaks. Only when Caine (Channing Tatum), a genetically engineered ex-military hunter, arrives on earth to track her down does Jupiter begin to glimpse the fate that … okay seriously.

Mila Kunis! Channing Tatum!

Insane special effects!

Jupiter Ascending offers good eye candy all round, but it probably won’t stimulate much intellectual post-date conversation.

Anticipatometer: ■ ■ ■

MORTDECAI

SHAUN THE SHEEP

SELMA

JUPITER ASCENDING

Popcorn? Entertainment? Darkened room? Voila – you have a date!

SHAUN THE SHEEP

Release date: 27 February Aardman Animation is back with this feature film based on the delightful series Shaun the Sheep. Shaun is a clever, mischievous sheep who lives with his flock on Mossy Bottom Farm, under the nominal supervision of The Farmer and Bitzer, a well-meaning but ineffectual sheepdog. When Shaun’s antics result in The Farmer being taken away, he and his flock must journey to rescue him. Like the series, the film contains no spoken dialogue, instead relying on the nuances of stop-motion clay animation to convey the characters’ motivations.

Great if your date is young at heart, or if you have to take the kids along with you!

Anticipatometer: ■ ■ ■ ■ ■

MORTDECAI Release date: 27 February Johnny Depp plays Charlie Mortdecai, a debonair art dealer and part-time rogue who traverses the globe, armed only with his good looks and charm, in a race to recover a stolen painting said to contain the code to a lost bank account filled with Nazi gold. Gwyneth Paltrow plays his wife, Johanna, and the cast is rounded out by Paul Bettany, Ewan McGregor, Jeff Goldblum and Olivia Munn. It’s basically beautiful people in beautiful clothes, bantering wittily and doing outrageous things – and that’s never a bad way to spend a couple of hours.

Great if your date is a ladyperson, because, well …

Johnny Depp.

Anticipatometer: ■ ■ ■

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LISTEN | GUIDE

Musical musings Claire Martens tests the waters, gets to the back of the line and discloses her musical thoughts with these hot new albums.

Hot Water

pictures: supplied

Songoma SikiSiki Productions The infectious Hot Water is back and as spirited as ever, if a little more earnest than usual. This local outfit tends to be a little quiet on the home front, but has been taking its African spirit to a very welcoming overseas market. It’s hard to go wrong when you celebrate local sounds, and the success of Hot Water is as much a product of their joyous and energetic music, as their collaboration and sense of humour.

Fronted by Donovan Copley – who was once called a ‘songoma’, thereby christening the latest album – Hot Water offers a space for the musicians to bring something authentic and personal to the table. Although Songoma is very much a Copley album, it still portrays the versatility of his usual collaborations within the traditional beats of kwela and maskandi, but touches on a seriousness rarely heard before. Slightly different, but still the same – and we like it that way!

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Robin Auld Back of the Line Free Lunch Productions Robin Auld is part of the old guard of South African anti-establishment musicians – the Splashy Fen vanguard.

Back of the Line is his ninth release on his personal label, Free Lunch Productions, but close to his 20th since the 80s when he began his creative career. A singer-songwriter influenced by the blues-rock and folk of old, Auld has been quietly chipping away at the festival and pub circuit for many years.

While his influence ran deep over a decade ago, the burgeoning South African scene has demanded more contemporary musical influences and a freshening up of genres. Auld has done his best to respond, but the impact is minimal. Back of the Line is what it is: a decent album, carefully crafted with a quiet and earnest simplicity that fans will appreciate. Auld’s natural talent for storytelling is as good as it’s ever been, and that’s okay by me.

CODA Africa Disclosure Red Cello Productions The name ‘CODA’ is a statement about the classical origins of this local Afro-pop outfit, but hardly begins to capture their embrace of what can only be described as a melting pot of retro sounds, from dub, burlesque and reggae to hip hop, swing and a large dose of pop. At times this can be messy, but overall, Disclosure is a labour of love that can easily compete on an international level.

Most impressive is the soaring voice of powerful vocalist Zami Mdingi, which sets her up as a diva and gives CODA Africa the edge it needs to cut across genres. Disclosure is a tight album and a great addition to any party – fun, upbeat and modern, but encased in their laid-back humour. You will enjoy exploring an album where every producer and collaborator were carefully chosen to give variation and style to an eclectic mix.

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Come with me now South African, American, kwaito, alternative rock? Something like that. While the music of KONGOS may be difficult to classify, their appeal is not. Gary Cool chats to brothers Johnny, Jesse, Dylan and Daniel Kongos after one of their London shows.

Gary Cool: The last time we spoke was in our home country, South Africa, and here we are in London, all five of us, chatting again. It’s great to see you guys.

KONGOS: Likewise, it’s great to see you.

GC: I watched the whole set tonight. You guys were unbelievable, the crowd was putty in your hands. They loved you! How does it feel to perform at The O2 to a London crowd, and they respond so well?

Daniel Kongos: It’s brilliant, yeah, it’s pretty special. The last time we played in London we played to like 50 people, and now we came back and played The O2. They were obviously all here for One Republic; no one knows who we are other than a few pockets of fans and some expats from South Africa. But to see them actually reacting to us like that in such a great venue was really cool.

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GC: I first heard ‘Come With Me Now’ on London’s absolute radio station, Xfm, and I think BBC Radio 6 have playlisted the single too. It took the States about two years to wake up. What was the breaking point that finally got you noticed over there?

KONGOS: I think it was the same thing that happened in South Africa really. There was one guy at 5FM who opened an email, heard ‘I’m Only Joking’ and said, ‘I’m going to play it’. A similar thing happened in the United States. There was one DJ who started playing ‘Come With Me Now’ in Denver, then another guy in Chicago started playing ‘I’m Only Joking’, and finally it clicked. It took that one person, or two people, to just get things going.

GC: You guys have been playing on numerous talk shows in America. That must be surreal!

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pictures: courtesy of just music

LISTEN | GUIDE

Daniel Kongos: Yeah, soil-your-pants surreal! That’s nervewracking. I shook Jenna Bush’s hand, and it wasn’t until that moment that I knew who she was.

Jesse Kongos: That’s one step away from George Bush…

Johnny Kongos: Yeah, one degree of separation from the former president. [Laughs].

GC: Kwaito music has made such an impact on your sound, will it continue to impact the music that you guys produce in the future?

Johnny Kongos: I think in essence, definitely. When those Mandoza tracks came out in the ’90s, it took a while for it to filter down to us in America. But he blew us away with the aggression and the balls of it. We liked that, and we liked to apply that rhythm, that mentality, to a rock set-up – whether it was real drums or whatever. That and all types of South

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African music will continue to influence our sound, I think. It’s funny when the interviewers in the States ask us to explain ‘Come With Me Now’. There are a whole lot of articles now saying that we are a ‘kwaito band’.

GC: I noticed that even on radio here they call you guys a kwaito rock band.

KonGos: [Laughs].

GC: Listening to your dad [John Kongos’] ‘Tokoloshe Man’, there is definitely a similarity between your sounds. Was this a direct or indirect influence?

Jesse Kongos: I think it was the fact that we heard those records. We grew up around it, and he talked about how he made the records. And he introduced us to a lot of traditional African music, and it still felt fresh. So we thought, ‘This is cool, this is a way to do something fresh in alternative rock.’

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GC: A year ago, people would have described you as ‘the sons of John Kongos’. Now everyone knows your singles and people know you for your music, and not your dad’s. How does that feel?

Daniel Kongos: It really depends on town to town, but when we go to a place like Chicago or Mexico City – where we’ve just played – we feel like we’re living somebody else’s life. It’s weird when people recognise you, or they think they know who you are, or they know the song. At least it kinda helps when we walk, all four together, singing our own songs. It helps us in getting recognised.

GC: Your album Lunatic was a massive hit in South Africa in 2012. Now you are basically living off the same album, but in the US and the UK. Is it weird playing a two-year-old album as if it’s a new one?

Jesse Kongos: It was getting a little bit weird because we were just playing these same songs that we had already been playing, and we were playing them to no one. Then, when the ball started rolling and we had crowds that re-energised, it gave it a whole new experience. Now we can go to a city like Chicago and play to thousands of people who know the words to our album, and that gives it a different feeling.

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Daniel Kongos: But, like you said, we kinda finished our album cycle in South Africa. We went back to America and nothing was happening for about a year and a half. That down time was good, because it allowed us to write and record new material.

GC: Was there ever any doubt in your minds in that year and a half? Did you ever wonder if it was going to happen, or were you guys just enjoying performing music?

Jesse Kongos: It was particularly frustrating, because we had actually seen that it had worked in South Africa, so before South Africa it was just a question. Now we knew it worked with people. People liked it. We would get a certain percentage of people liking the music and coming back, but then it wouldn’t click anywhere in the States.

GC: During that waiting period, were you guys ever thinking, ‘Maybe we should go and get full-time jobs’?

Daniel Kongos: We were thinking we needed to do one more album, and then go and get full-time jobs.

GC: How has the tour with One Republic been so far?

Jesse Kongos: So far, really good. We’ve only done three shows, but at the moment we are comparing everything to Kings Of Leon. So far they have set a very high standard – like what it’s like to be a support band for a big band – but so far it is going really well. Getting treated well by the crews and the catering is … I don’t know if it’s as good as Kings Of Leon yet, but it’s damn good.

GC: Before you played ‘Escape’ tonight, you said South Africa is a place you like to escape to, and that was quite touching. Does South Africa still have a special place in your hearts?

Jesse Kongos: It’s based on a Nostradamus quote. He said that when Armageddon or the end of the world happens, the southern tip of Africa will be safe. So it was just an idea in my head. But also, it does feel like South Africa is down there at the bottom of the planet by itself, and it does feel like a haven sometimes – especially when whatever is going on, like hurricanes or war, in the northern hemisphere. It’s kind of a crazy world and we just have roots there – we have friends there. It feels like a home when we’re there.

Daniel Kongos: Yeah, a homeland.

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Thumb wars

Hack, slash, punch, kick and generally incite mayhem through this month’s crop of digital distractions.

EVOLVE PC, PS4, XBOX ONE Grab a few friends and begin the hunt for some big, bad monsters in Evolve, a co-operative shooter game with a difference. Brought to you by the creators of Left 4 Dead, Evolve stars four player-controlled hunters bristling with various abilities, weapons and individual personalities tasked to bring down colossal beasts in hostile environments. Close co-operation between the hunters becomes critical as the synergy of skill sets and lethal arsenal of weaponry are the only means by which a hunt can succeed.

The catch is that the monster is controlled by a fifth human player, who can control a variety of monster types across several game modes. With melee, ranged and stealth-focused types at your disposal, you can opt for crafty, devious or straightforward brutal approaches to outwitting and outmuscling the hunters.

Join the hunt from 10 February.

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GAMES | GUIDE

text and pictures: supplied by BT Games

DRAGON BALL XENOVERSE PC, PS3, PS4, XBOX 360, XBOX ONE Further expanding the Dragon Ball media franchise, Bandai Namco have created their first fighting game entry for new-gen consoles, as well as PC. The customisation options on offer are staggering, offering players the ability to create characters from multiple races based on the Dragon Ball universe. The game features full-3D destructible environments, as well as free-roaming across a variety of landscapes, where combat can happen on land, air or even water! All of this is enhanced by live dialogue during the explosive fight sequences.

Players can also train their fighters to learn the skills of the original Dragon Ball Z: Budokai anime characters, or bring in their friends for time-travelling co-op missions throughout exploration of the game’s open world.

Will you enter uncharted territory to prove your worth?

On BT Games shelves from 13 February.

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THE ORDER: 1886 PS4 What do you get when you mix devious underworld-styled monsters, a steampunk-oriented alternate historical setting and a crafty selection of snazzy weaponry? Sony brings you The Order 1886, where a squad of elite knights is tasked with protecting humanity at all costs by cleansing the dark streets of the Victorian London metropolis from century-old foes.

Players control The Order knights from a third-person perspective as the game’s narrative unfolds across the single-player campaign, with seamless transitions between action and story sequences. Unleashing devastation through ingeniously crafted weaponry created by the best engineers of the Industrial Revolution, the player is thrown into a Victorianera London pockmarked with familiar landmarks, as well as giant airships patrolling the skies as they come to terms with the perilous task at hand.

Guide The Order for the salvation of humanity, or make a gallant last stand in its name. Only available on PS4. Pre-order from BT Games to receive the Knight’s Endurance Pack.

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IF THE LIGHTS GO OUT DOWN THERE, THIS PLANE WILL KEEP FLYING. BUT WILL YOUR BUSINESS?

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2015/01/22 3:05 PM

TECH | GUIDE

Digital dating

z

z

Tired of trawling bars or your friends' ever-dwindling pool of singles? Andy Walker of Gearburn.com rounds up some of the best dating apps for you to try.

ZOOSK (IOS, ANDROID)

z

TINDER (IOS, ANDROID) Tinder plugs into users’ Facebook accounts and connects them with a bevy of locals looking for love.

Once downloaded and ready, the user faces profile after profile, which can be met with a heart (if you like what you see) or a skip (if you don’t). But this app isn’t just for dating – it’s a great way to meet new potential friends too.

CLOVER (IOS)

z

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Clover does this digital dating thing a little differently to Tinder and Hinge. This app allows a bit more scrolling freedom, giving users more time to like or dislike a fellow user. This app also ensures that users use more than just a ‘love at first sight’ philosophy, and the ‘prospects’ tab within the app does just that – giving you an idea of the people who fancy your cat selfie. Clover allows people to do more than just find an ideal match – it’s geared towards blossoming new friendships too. But, if the user is impatient, there’s also the date-on-demand feature which privileges a gung-ho attitude.

HINGE (IOS) pictures: supplied

If there was a granddaddy of dating apps, Zoosk will surely wear a bowler hat and tuxedo. Founded in 2007, this service’s back-end is quite dated, but the dating app revival has seen Zoosk re-emerge as an interesting alternative to its younger counterparts.

Although messaging isn’t free and the user interface isn’t popular, it’s worth a mention, especially if you take online dating seriously.

Coming off the back of Tinder’s monumental success, Hinge is the youngest app in the line-up and one of the more promising ones too. Its creator dubbed Hinge the ‘Facebook’ of dating apps (while slating Tinder as the MySpace), and in a way, he’s right. While Tinder introduces you to random others in predetermined locations, Hinge brings you people you might know through your selection of friends. Like Tinder, it also plugs into your Facebook account, but Hinge only introduces you to mutual friends. In that sense, it’s slightly less creepy.

SKOUT (IOS, ANDROID) This relatively young app allows users to meet others from their city, or around the world. This company just acquired Nixter – a social networking app to connect party-goers in some of the largest cities on earth. Expect big things from it this year.

For more insightful gadget and gaming news, check out gearburn.com.

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Warren puts the ‘stood up’ in stand-up comedy

n the o i s u V d an ansi Warren z M d n a usic love of m t how u o d n fi tries to n e r r a orthy w W e g n i r ite a c r w o t t o n e sex scen

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Chat

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The Vusiness

s e m Ti Singer-songwriter and local legend Vusi Mahlasela has been called the voice of South Africa. Now Warren Robertson tries to lend some backing vocals.

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locAl lEgEnd | chat

Warren Robertson: Hi Vusi, thanks so much for agreeing to chat to me.

Did I hear John Legend playing in your house when I arrived? I didn’t think you’d listen to pop music?

Vusi Mahlasela: Was he really playing?

I was listening to 702. I think someone must’ve changed the channel. But I’ll listen to anything, as long as the lyrics speak to me. They must have a message; they must touch me.

WR: I think anyone listening to you would know that lyrics are important to you. Since the beginning of your career, you’ve had some pretty strong messages in your songs.

VM: When I started writing songs I knew that I wanted them to speak to people.

I didn’t just want to be writing songs that people would hear and then forget.

I wanted to make people think.

WR: You’ve been recognised time and again for the role your songs have played and are playing, in a nonracial SA, because of your themes of reconciliation and togetherness.

VM: We have a great thing here in Africa.

All across the continent people share a similar philosophy: Ubuntu. Ubuntu is a beautiful thing that sometimes gets forgotten, but if we build it right, it could change the way we see the world and the way we live as a nation. Ubuntu is about friendship, togetherness, kindness and mutuality. Ubuntu is useless to the man who lives alone; it’s about community. You need everyone living in an area to be involved, and then there is upliftment for the whole nation.

WR: In 2011, I was nominated for a Comic’s Choice Award, but I haven’t won anything since the grade 1 eggand-spoon race. You, however, have a stack of awards and recently received

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a lifetime-achievement gong from the SAMAs. Could you give me one?

VM: I think I could. I don’t think I’d notice if you took one. Not because I have so many, but because it’s not the award itself that means something to me. To me it was that moment of recognition; of a group of people saying, ‘We like what you’re doing.’

WR: During the 2010 Soccer World Cup, your song about welcoming home the freedom fighters after their exile, ‘When You Come Back’, charted on the UK singles charts. You probably did better out of that tournament than Bafana Bafana, huh?

VM: That song means so much to me, and also seems to mean a lot to others.

Though I wrote it with one meaning, people take their own messages out of it.

I have people coming to me after concerts and saying, ‘The way you speak about forgiveness makes me think. I haven’t spoken to my mother or my friend in a little while. I’m going to give them a call.’

WR: The president recently awarded you the Order of Ikhamanga. Tell me about that.

VM: It’s a nice feeling to be recognised for what you do. In life you have to do a job and earn money. Most people do this by selling physical things; things you can touch. Entertainers sell emotional experiences. So when you get recognised like this, it’s like people are saying they really recognise that what you’ve done has meant something to them.

WR: Amazing. The only order I ever got from the president was to, ‘Get away from him right now!’

VM: [Laughs] It was an odd time. April, year before last (I think), because at the same time I was being awarded an honorary doctorate at Rhodes University.

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locAl lEgEnd | chat

WR: So you are a doctor then? Do you make your friends call you Dr Mahlasela?

VM: No. In fact, sometimes I forget I could do that. I don’t really think about titles. For me it’s about that warm feeling of recognition, and the responsibility. With each award, people look at you differently, expect more from you, want more from you. In 2012, I also received the Martin Luther King, Jnr., Cesar Chavez, and Rosa Parks Visiting Professorship Certificate from the University of Michigan in the United States. So, I am also a guest professor. This is a great honour, because it’s something they give to people in recognition of the work they’ve done for humanity. People like Martin Luther King and Rosa Parks, these people changed the world. That’s a lot of responsibility and expectation, both from other people and yourself.

WR: Did you ever imagine when you first picked up a guitar that this is where it would take you?

VM: No, I made my first guitar out of fishing line and a tin can.

For me it was just a toy. We had a band of kids who had made their own instruments back then, and we would play them on the roadside. People would give us small change.

WR: So when did music really start taking off for you?

VM: My next-door neighbour was a man who worked nightshift at the railways. Of course, when he was trying to sleep, we were playing our music. He gave me my first guitar and the name for our band, Pleasure Invaders. We were trying to recreate the music we heard around us. MmamoShweshwe had the first shebeen in Mamelodi, which was named Sgodiphola – ‘place to chill’. She had all sorts of musicians in there. There was a guy playing maskandi guitar and groups singing a cappella. I would just watch them and think, ‘Wow, I want to do that.’

WR: And then you end up playing at President Nelson Mandela’s inauguration.

VM: That was a big day. I kept looking around and thinking, ‘There are so many people who would want to be here, and I am here. Me.’ It was beautiful.

WR: So, did you ever meet Mr Mandela?

VM: I met him a few times, but let me tell you a story. I was at the airport once, coming back from a tour, when my phone rang.

The lady on the other side said, ‘Can you come? Nelson wants to meet you.’ I dropped everything and soon I was sitting talking to Baba Nelson. He wanted me to be an ambassador for 46664.

He said to me, ‘When are you next performing?’ And I said, ‘Thursday, I am doing something for an Aids charity in Mamelodi.’

He turned around and said, ‘Zelda, cancel all my plans for Thursday. I am going to a concert.’ And he actually came.

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WR: I can only imagine. Can we expect a new album from you anytime soon?

VM: Well, there is always music in the pocket, but I am not someone who rushes to make an album. I make an album when I have enough songs that I am very happy with.

Sometimes that takes some time.

WR: Vusi, this has been an absolute privilege. Hopefully we’ll see each other at one of the festivals; maybe Splashy Fen? VM: Yes, hopefully we will. If they give me the call, then I will be there.

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Happy endings Helena S Paige is the pseudonym for three Cape Town writers, Sarah Lotz, Paige Nick and Helen Moffett, who’ve co-authored a series of choose-your-ownadventure erotic novels: A Girl Walks into a Bar, A Girl Walks into a Wedding and A Girl Walks into a Blind Date. Warren Robertson gets hot under the collar‌

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ERotic AUthoRs | chat

Warren Robertson: These days it’s the norm to see bestseller charts dominated by all kinds of erotic fantasies, from vampires and werewolves to S&M and anything starring Tim Noakes. Is this what inspired the three of you to write your own series of choose-your-ownadventure erotica?

Helena S Paige: Nope. It was three parts champagne and one part feminist irritation – we wanted women to be in charge of their own sexual choices.

And how did you know our next book features Tim Noakes? This is a serious security breach.

WR: Whenever I read choose your own adventures as a kid, I always ended up getting eaten by dinosaurs, or drowning in quicksand. Does that ever happen in your books?

HSP: No, although one of us (we won’t mention names, except to say she’s a spoilsport) nixed an earthquake and a plane crash in the first draft of A Girl Walks into a Wedding. We also had a scene where one of the love interests (a bit of a tonsil, really) gets taken out in a motorbike accident. But our British publisher quickly informed us that nobody dies in erotica. Who knew? Wish we’d thought of quicksand, though … interesting.

WR: So I read A Girl Walks into a Bar, and I’ve got to say it’s not very believable: the only woman I know who goes to bars alone is a toothless crone with a prison tattoo. Thoughts?

HSP: You must be hanging out in the wrong bars.

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WR: In the book, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go home with either the sexy bodyguard, the cute bartender with the chiselled stomach or the tequila-drinking rock star. I’m beginning to think these books may not be for men?

HSP: It depends on what kind of man.

Our gay male friends adore the books.

We have very intense conversations about who gets which bloke in the books.

WR: In 50 Shades of Grey, Christian Grey is a powerful, older man who’s into some pretty weird stuff, but the most tortured thing in that book was the language. What is the trick to writing a good sex scene?

HSP: Trickier than you might imagine.

It has to be plausible, light-hearted (all those entries up for the Bad Sex Writing award are terribly, terribly serious), and most of all, the choreography has to work. We once read a sex scene in which the heroine had three arms and forgot to remove her clothing before things got racy.

This kind of glitch is more common than you think in sex writing. We think the copy editors close their eyes when they get to these scenes.

WR: You can blame the grande dame of romance, Barbara Cartland. When I think of a romance/erotica writer, I picture a woman draped in minks and jewels, lying on a chaise longue, eating chocolate-dipped strawberries, drinking expensive champagne, and dictating her novels to harassed assistants. Is this completely accurate or just 99 per cent?

HSP: We wish that it were even one per cent accurate. We write our books in pyjamas, with food in our hair and coffee cups spilling onto our keyboards. Please send assistants (harassed or otherwise). Failing that, someone to do the washing-up would be nice.

WR: Do you think the fact that you are erotica novelists gives interviewers the right to question you about your own private lives?

HSP: No one has dared. They open their mouths, check out our steely gazes, and then rather ask about the weather instead.

WR: Just how much real-life research goes into the erotic scenes?

HSP: We all have very, very active … imaginations.

WR: Your internet search history must be interesting.

HSP: Yes, it is. We have a pact: if any of us dies unexpectedly, whichever coauthor is closest will erase our internet search history.

WR: Like it or not, SA is still quite a conservative society when it comes to this sort of thing. What do your respective parents think about the new direction in your careers?

HSP: Helen’s parents: ‘Will your name be on the cover of these books?’

Paige’s parents: Proud. Confused, but proud.

Sarah’s mum: Our intrepid proofreader.

She says we use references to male naughty bits too much.

Sarah’s dad: Inspired to write his own hilarious take on matters, published

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erotIc authors | chat

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We have a pact: If any of us dIes unexpectedly, WhIchever co-author Is closest WIll erase our Internet search hIstory in Adults Only – a cool collection of erotic short stories published by Burnet Media.

WR: Are you afraid that by outing yourselves as erotica authors in interviews of this kind you are opening yourselves up to weirdness from people you know, or even strangers? Isn’t the point of writing under a pseudonym that you can remain anonymous? hSP: It’s never been a problem, unless you count all the folk who want us to help them publish their erotic writing…

WR: If I grow my hair and work on a chiselled torso, can I be the guy who is holding the lovely lady on the front cover of your next book, or are you going to stick with

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these trendy new non-risqué cover designs? hSP: oh, that fabio look is so old. We love our covers. they’re bold, naughty and sophisticated. the south african ones have been used or adapted by over a dozen of our overseas translations, which is a huge coup – local really is lekker.

WR: Have you ever considered creating a storyline where the reader can go home with a comedian? I mean, comedians are really super sexy, aren’t they? All ladies want to be with a comedian, right? hSP: strange that you should mention that. all the men in our lives are funny. very funny indeed.

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Getting to your destination has never been easier. Gautrain will help you plan your route, assist you with bus and shuttle services as well as assist you with calculating the time and cost of visiting your destination. Finding an event, place or attraction to attend or visit makes travelling a comfortable and enjoyable experience.

Log onto www.gautrain.co.za for more information about places, attractions and events featured on this map.

Gauteng (Sesotho for "place of gold") is South Africa's smallest province (17 000 square kilometres), but also the wealthiest and most densely populated. It includes most of the towns strung east to west along the gold reef, from Springs in the far East Rand to Randfontein in the west. It runs down to the Vaal River in the South, and just beyond South Africa's capital, Pretoria, in the north.

For more infomation visit Gauteng Tourism Authority www.gauteng.net

Montecasino Palazzo Circle

Sandton Station Bus Routes S2: Gallo Manor S3: Rivonia S4: Randburg S5: Fourways

Design Quarter

Take a photo with our former president at Nelson Mandela Square.

Epsom Downs Parc Nicol

Rivonia Centre Rivonia Boulevard Liliesleaf Farm

Nicolway A valid Gold Card is required to board a Gautrain bus.

These can be purchased at the stations and at selected retail outlets.

Grosvenor Crossing

Visit www.gautrain.co.za where you will be able to plan your trip accordingly.

• For detailed and accurate bus route maps see station brochures or visit the Gautrain website.

• Bus tickets cannot be purchased on the buses.

• To find out where your bus is, please dial 010 223 1098.

Coca Cola Park Stadium is situated in Johannesburg. Access to the stadium to watch your favourite event is easy from locations within the confinements of the city

Consumer Goods Council

Johannesburg Don’t forget to visit Joburg Zoo and the National Military Museum.

Bright Water Multichoice Commons Summer Place

Charlotte Maxeke Hyde Johannesburg Square Wits Academic Hospital Medical School The Mall of Rosebank ES

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Joburg Theatre Complex

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Constitution Hill

PARK STATION

Boston Newtown College Cultural Precinct Absa Standard Reef Bank Bank Art Hotel Gallery

Meadowfields

Sandton Racquets Club

IDC Protea Hotel Balalaika Shuttle Service Sandton City S Hyde Park TE U

Illovo Blvd

Morning Glen Mall

River Club Park

Pick n Pay Sandton on Nicol Sports Club

SARS

Park Station Bus Routes J1: Park Town J2: CBD

Nelson Mandela Bridge

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Bryanston Centre

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Southern Sun Sandton Hilton

SANDTON

Bryanston Centre

Innisfree Park

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Thrupps Bidvest Wanderers Centre Stadium Melrose Protea Melrose Arch Place Hotel Rosebank Station Wanderers Bus Routes RB5: Killarney Atholl College of RB2: Melrose Oaklands Digital

Photography

Killarney Mall

ROSEBANK

RB3: Illovo RB4: Hyde Park

The undergound tunnel section from Park Station to Marlboro Portal is a total length of 15.5 kilometres.

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Pretoria Bus Routes P3: Pretoria P4: PTA Unisa - Groenkloof

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National Zoo OR Tambo Building Queenswood Sheraton Hotel Pretoria Christian Technical Colllege High ETRORAIL

State Theatre

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City Hall

PRETORIA

The Union Buildings have lovely gardens.

Check out the National Zoological Gardens.

PRASA/M

Heart 7 MINUTES Hospital

Hatfield Bus Routes H1: Brooklyn H2: Lynnwood H3: Arcadia H5: Menlyn H6: Queenswood

HATFIELD

University of Pretoria Loftus Rugby UNISA Stadium Curves SABS Brooklyn Pretoria Raslouw Country Little Company of Value Centre Protea Hotel Club Mary Hospital Centurion Waterfront Centurion Lifestyle Station Amberfield Centre CENTURION Estate Centurion Supersport Byles Checkers Bus Routes Park Bridge Lynwood C1: Techno Park Eco Park C2: Rooihuiskraal Centurion Estate C3: Wierda Park Golf Estate C4: Southdowns Love More Eco Boulevard Centre Sax Southdowns Protea Arena Spar Hotel College Freedom Park

8 MINUTES

Tshwane

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The Freedom Park & the Voortrekker Monument

World Bank Menlyn Park Shopping

CSIR Checkers Lynwood LEGEND North-South Commuter East-West Commuter Airport PRASA / Metrorail

Tilbury Business Park Central Park African Bank

Eskom Megawatt Park

Gallagher Convention Centre

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TR ME A/ AS PR

MARLBORO

Ekurhuleni Woodbridge Square

Cavendish Glen Civic Centre

Glen Balad Mall Arwyp Medical Centre Premier Hotel OR Tambo Protea Hotel OR Tambo

OR Tambo International Airport, the busiest airport in Africa, forms the centre of a multi-nodal, multi- functional enterprise with major commercial development in Ekurhuleni and is known as South Africa’s Aerotropolis.

AIL

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Midrand Bus Routes M1: Randjespark M2: Noordwyk M3: Sunninghill

Kelvin Power is a 600MW coal-fired power plant located near Kempton Park that provides City Power with electricity.

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Joburg Water Tower

MIDRAND

Town Waterfall Lodge Hospital

Sunninghill Hospital Linbro Business Park Shuttle Service 4 MINUTES

9 MIN

Unisa SBL Main Entrance Chilli Lane Shopping Centre

UTES

Vodaworld

UTER

T COMM

EAST/WES

RHODESFIELD Emperors Palace AIRPORT

MINUTES ION =15 ON STAT TO SANDT OR TAMBO

OR TAMBO Rhodesfield Bus Routes RF1: Kempton Park RF2: Emperors Palace

Download the Gautrain Apps, available on: • App Store • Google Play • App World

The first two rail cars in the direction of the Airport (last two cars in the direction of Sandton) to the airport comprise special airport cars with fewer but wider and more luxurious seats and special areas for baggage storage near the doors.

Take the Metrorail from Park Station to FNB Stadium.

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SMS “Alert” to 32693 for service updates Disclaimer: Please note that some of the attractions indicated along the illustrated route map may not be along the route of the Gautrain services. Direct enquiries for more information about places and attractions may be obtained from Gauteng Tourism Authority.

The illustrated route map is not to scale.

2015/01/12 9:35 AM

A little heart

goes a long way

Many of us find relief from stress as well as physical comfort through yoga and massage. For children living with trauma, though, these can be essential therapies ensuring a better life, as Keith Bain discovers.

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KIDS AT PLAY | LOCAL HERO

I

ts beauty lies in its simplicity.

Recognising that all children have the right to be loved and feel cared for, Lionhearted Kids is a small nonprofit organisation (NPO) providing ‘alternative’ therapies for children affected by trauma.

Founded by yoga instructor and social activist Lauren Pech, the NPO’s mission is to provide relief and healing to children in hospitals and special homes.

‘Our aim is to work with the most vulnerable and marginalised children,’ says Lauren. ‘They might not have any family. They may have experienced illness or injury, or have witnessed those things.

We’ve seen HIV-positive children, children whose parents have died from Aids, and children with physical issues who’ve been rejected because of how they look. We see many children suffering with acute burns, often covering the entire body. By definition, though, trauma is anything that the human nervous system perceives as challenging.’

Using primarily yoga, aromatherapy and synergetic play, Lauren says her goal is to help children connect with themselves. She believes that even before education, children need to be comfortable with themselves, content and at ease in their own bodies. For children living with trauma, that’s usually not possible, because there’s a block preventing a connection between the child and his or her own inner world. ‘You can’t give a very good education to a child who is not at home within themselves,’ explains Lauren.

‘A child cannot learn if he or she is in a state of trauma, just as you can’t learn if you’re worrying about when you’re going to get your next meal, or if you’re in pain all the time.’

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kids At plAY | LOcAL HERO

first having compassion towards that. This is something we’re learning through yoga all the time as adults. It’s a way of rewiring the brain.’

Lauren explains that much of the work undertaken by Lionhearted Kids is inspired by both mindfulness research and the relatively new field of interpersonal neurobiology, which looks at how our brains are shaped by interactions with others. Both of these relate to a therapy known as synergetic play. It’s primarily a nonverbal therapy, so it transcends language barriers, and is based on human connections that go beyond culture. Its efficacy is backed by new evidence that the brain is shaped by interpersonal relationships, meaning that a child’s development is influenced by the way he or she experiences connections with others.

Bending the rules ConneCtion with self Before relocating to Cape Town from the US, Lauren had always worked in public health and with needy communities. She had trained in traditional psychology, but says her graduate studies in mindfulness encouraged her to ‘put aside’ what she’d learned within that conventional paradigm.

It’s mindfulness – paying attention and developing awareness, noticing yourself with curiosity rather than with judgement, and self-compassion – that Lionhearted Kids hopes to foster in the children that it reaches. ‘This means we’re teaching children to be kind,’ explains Lauren.

‘You don’t teach children kindness by telling them how to behave and how to treat other people; you teach it through personal experience, by helping them connect with their own inner world and

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‘Since I’m a yoga teacher,’ says Lauren, ‘I’m interested in figuring out how we can combine the neuroscience field of synergetic play therapy – principles of attunement, self-regulation, being authentic, showing up in the moment – with yoga. Plus we include art therapy, music and therapeutic touch. We’re creating our own fusion of therapies to fit into the cultural context of the children we’re working with in Cape Town.’

While these therapies don’t necessarily fit into conventional systems of health care, Lauren believes they provide benefits that are essential for a child’s development. She’s seen how yoga and aromatherapy provide not only momentary relief from pain, but also enable children to connect with themselves and their inner worlds. And the first step towards connecting with the outside world, she says, is finding harmony within.

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Yoga, she says, is an especially useful tool for mindfully developing that inner-world connection. ‘Yoga is such a cool thing for children to have in their lives, because it helps them connect with themselves.

And we know that self-connection is completely necessary for people to connect with someone else, too.’

Lauren says yoga is a particularly great fit for children in that stage of their development when they are trying out new things. She says that despite the reactions she sometimes receives from institutional administrators, she’s surprised by just how open and amenable the children are to yoga. Most of these children have fewer preconceived ideas about yoga than adults do, and this frees them up, enabling them to be open to the experience. And because yoga is essentially a meditation that aligns mind and body through simple focus on the breath, it gives these kids a way of easily connecting with their inner world.

Freedom to be There’s often resistance to the kind of work Lionhearted Kids does – and often its therapies are perceived as ‘a lovely add-on’ rather than something valuable.

‘Not everyone understands what we mean when we say that we use yoga and therapeutic touch to help the child attach to itself,’ says Lauren. ‘But we are able to explain that what we’re doing provides pain

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relief, helps soothe the nervous system, and helps with self-regulation.’

Better understood, Lauren says, is aromatherapy, which has been used to help treat trauma for many years. ‘It’s a slightly misleading term, though,’ she says.

‘It’s not about sniffing an essential oil and feeling different; it’s a therapeutic touch technique, a light massage that’s meant to help regulate the nervous system.’

She believes touch is incredibly healing.

‘Often children in trauma situations don’t have parents, so they’re missing human touch,’ she says. ‘What’s more, for a lot of these children, touch has also been associated with violence. They’ve experienced it as harm to themselves, or they have witnessed it as harm to someone else. But therapeutic touch, or aromatherapy, just feels lovely. Even if I just give you a hand massage – it needn’t be your entire body – it can be incredibly soothing. If a child is suffering with severe burns all over his or her body, a gentle hand massage can also provide a sense of momentary relief, and a momentary connection to themselves. It’s so simple, but it’s working on a very human level.’

Yes You can ‘Children hear “Don’t do this, don’t do that” all the time,’ says Lauren, ‘being told what to do and what not to do most of their day. So, even if only for an hour, the yoga

we give them provides an opportunity for them to explore what their bodies can do, without judging them, or stopping them, or containing them.’ And because Lionhearted Kids isn’t pathology-based, it means that the labels and stigmas associated with illness or trauma don’t marginalise or stigmatise. ‘We recognise someone’s condition,’ says Lauren, ‘but we take all the labels off the child, and see the freedom of the personal.’

This manner of empowering kids to be themselves is part of Lauren’s mindfulness approach. Many of the children have been involved in antisocial, even criminal, activity and they live in judgement, even in the hospitals and institutions where they’re receiving care. Sometimes, apart from giving these kids relief from pain and discomfort, the soothing touch of a therapist can alleviate them from that experience of being seen as a social misfit.

Lauren’s approach recognises their humanity, and their right to be loved and accepted, without any stigma. ‘Those are our kids, and we take those labels off. We look at them as children and understand that they need certain things, without making assumptions about whether they’re “bad” or “antisocial”.’

It really is that simple. Because in the end, doesn’t everyone deserve to be loved? www. lionheartedkids.org

pictures: sarah goodman

LOCAL HERO | kids at play

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The village

people

Katie Bigelow loses her heart to a tiny town in the eastern Free State.

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RosEndAl | TRAVEL

‘N

otice anything unusual?’ said Simon, self-satisfied.

‘Besides the fact that we’re in the middle of nowhere?’ I didn’t want to sound too over-the-moon, although he had really chosen a devastatingly lovely little dorp for our Valentine’s getaway.

‘No malls. No chain stores. Not even an ATM,’ he gloated. ‘Like we’ve travelled back in time.’

‘Do you think we’ll find something to eat here in the distant past?’ Besides the farmers’ co-op, the one-tar-road village of Rosendal also didn’t have a supermarket.

‘I’ve booked a table at the local restaurant,’ he said.

‘Just the one restaurant, is it?’ By now I was sounding like a real cow, but Simon somehow relished the challenge of pleasing me.

I told him I liked surprises and I’ll admit that when, a couple of hours from Jozi, we bypassed signs to Clarens, I thought he was getting us lost. But then we arrived at this charming little hamlet. Surrounded by sandstone mountains rising up like watchful sentinels, its houses and farms spread far and wide beneath a vast blue sky. It was, I suspected, a perfectly romantic sanctuary.

The bike lady Not only was there just one restaurant, but we were also staying directly opposite it. We pulled up outside Gaffie’s, an old sandstone house with a red tin roof and typical Free State veranda set in a lovely, flower-filled garden. The décor was creative countryside chic, with lots of lovingly restored antiques offset by shocks of bright, colourful fabrics and handcrafted ornaments. Martina, the housekeeper, walked us through and showed us how to operate the kitchen’s coal-burning stove.

Simon said he’d picked the room with the

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biggest bed – Manon. There wasn’t a bit of plastic in sight, nor anything jarringly modern that might have interfered with our sense of time travel.

It seemed a shame to spend any more time in that car, so Martina gave us a number to contact so that we could hire bicycles. André Loots, the local weaver and soap maker, was also Rosendal’s bike hirer, and she told us to pop around to her home to pick them up. She greeted us with a grin and a tale about how she’d moved to Rosendal to escape the noise and pretence of the city. She’d never heard of Rosendal until her friend, artist Michèle Nigrini, moved here over a decade ago. ‘She was among the first “outsiders” to relocate here,’ said André, ‘and when we came to visit her, it struck us as the kind of place we’d find privacy, peace and quiet. We weren’t wrong.’

Then she showed us her all-natural soaps. ‘I use coconut and olive oil,’ she said, ‘and I get my essential oils from a farmer in the Karoo.’ André started making soap because of her sensitive skin and because commercial perfumes make her sneeze.

Soon she was supplying to most of the village. She also made candles and had a beautiful range of thin-weave scarves and kilim carpets created on her handoperated loom.

I got a pleasant shock when André told us how little the bikes would cost. ‘Fifty rand a day,’ she said, and told us we could return them anytime and pay whenever.

‘We do things differently here in the Platteland – we don’t worry about a few extra hours either way.’ Then she pointed us towards her friend’s gallery, warning us to stay warm because the temperature would drop dramatically after dark.

‘You be good now, you hear,’ she called as we rode off feeling like we’d just visited a long-lost aunt.

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TRAVEL | ROSENDAL

ROSENDAL | TRAVEL

COLONY OF ART The local art gallery in Rosendal.

THE ARTIST At the art gallery, Meerkatkolonie, we found Michèle hanging some of her paintings. They were colourful, energetic, and quite magical.

‘My art goes through stages,’ she said.

‘When I first came to Rosendal, I painted lots of landscapes – I couldn’t ignore this incredible terrain. Many local artists paint according to the seasons. We have snow in winter, and abundant fruit and flowers in summer, so we paint pomegranates, cosmos, sunflowers, figs … and for the past few years, I’ve been focused on painting birds, because that’s what’s here.

When I moved here there was absolutely nothing going on, but the eastern Free State surprised me. I came for a year’s sabbatical, but after three days I decided I wasn’t leaving.

‘After the city, life here feels a little unreal – like some kind of board game.

Farmville, perhaps! It’s a very simple life, but keeping busy is essential for survival.

We don’t have shops selling ready-made dinners. Everyone grows their own veggies, and you don’t find luxuries like

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HELLO THERE Wagyu cattle raised in Senekal.

filter coffee or olive oil, so we have to drive for major shopping. And we entertain ourselves by making every occasion an unmissable “happening”. I’m busier here than when I was living in Pretoria, because you have to do everything yourself.’

I was touched that even Rosendal’s most dedicated residents didn’t portray the town as some kind of fairyland where everyone spends their days relaxing.

Rather, it was authentic and gritty – even if the scenic beauty cast it in a magical light.

‘Spend two days here,’ said Michèle, ‘and it’ll feel like you’ve been on holiday for a week. Stay three months and you’ll be totally buggered, because you won’t want to leave … there’s something in the air.

It’s tough keeping a business alive in this town, but we’ve got six galleries, each owned by a different resident artist, and a few quirky shops.’

She told us to drop in at Turksvy Trading, which was like stepping into an unusual museum plastered with oddities – offbeat antiques, vintage Coke fridges, kewpie dolls, and ancient packets of sweets. The owner, Sandra Lemmer,

explained that she’d come across an old trading store in Lesotho and when the owner died, she bought its contents lock, stock and barrel. The result is the kind of shop you can poke around in for hours.

Like Michèle, Sandra had lost her heart to Rosendal. ‘It’s a place that embraces you with love,’ she said. ‘Even on a stormy, windy day, you have beauty all around you.

The visual impact of the rugged mountains and proximity of nature is astonishing – it’s like you’re absorbing life and creativity into your very soul.’

THE GOAT WHISPERER Wednesday was pizza night at Rosa Restaurant, very popular with locals.

Owner Tracy Rudling (‘No, I’m not the chef … I can’t even burn toast properly’) came to welcome us, and explained how access to fresh produce made it possible to have the most exciting menu in the Free State.

They served wagyu beef raised in Senekal and handcrafted goat’s cheese from Mosamane, a nearby farm with scenic hiking trails. After breakfast the next morning, we cycled to Mosamane to meet

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ROSENDAL | TRAVEL

pictures: michèle nigrini, terry westby-nunn, marzahn botha, sybrandus adema

THE BIG THRILL, THOUGH, WAS THE PARADE THAT EVERYONE HAD BEEN TALKING ABOUT SINCE WE ARRIVED

Barry Sergeant, the goat farmer who’d miraculously exchanged corporate life for cheesemaking. Like so many of Rosendal’s transplanted ‘outsiders’, he’d fallen in love with the town’s remoteness and rugged beauty. ‘It’s one of the prettiest parts of the country,’ he said.

Barry seemed extraordinarily content, surrounded by 140 equally delighted goats. ‘They’re intelligent and highly sociable,’ said Barry. ‘Even though they’re livestock, I treat them as individuals and give them names matching their personalities.’ He introduced us to Alfonso, who stared up at us and kept on chewing.

‘He is my largest male, the name just fits.’

Then he explained how the happiness of his goats affects the quality of his cheese.

‘Most dairy goats live in pens and are fed hay and concentrates,’ he said. ‘Mine spend their days roaming in the mountains, dining on grasses, herbs and shrubs. It’s not all fun and games out here. It’s a very rugged countryside – not for the fainthearted. And the weather can be extreme.’

I said it was hard to imagine: right then, everything seemed idyllic, calm and lush.

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‘Yes,’ he said, ‘after the rains, it looks like Scotland, but in winter it’s quite dry, and we get very powerful winds – almost hurricane level – plus dust storms and violent thunderstorms.’

And then he pointed us towards a hiking trail and asked if we’d like the goats to join us. ‘Of course,’ we chorused. So, with the help of his Anatolian shepherd dogs, he got the goats to follow us as we set off into the foothills of the Maloti Mountains.

They were, as Barry had hinted, on their best behaviour.

THE LOVE PARADE

By Friday, the whole village was buzzing with excitement about the Valentine’s Day-inspired Love Rosendal Festival. The three-day annual celebration began with dinner at Rosa – a feast that culminated with dancing.

On Saturday, we used our bikes for the behind-the-scenes village tour. The homes and gardens were open to the public, and we got the opportunity to watch local artists at work in their studios. Then we watched the local soccer tournament

before squeezing into Rosendal’s rustic theatre for a scintillating singer-songwriter performance.

The big thrill, though, was the parade that everyone had been talking about since we arrived. As local residents geared up in flamboyant outfits, we browsed food and craft stalls, and by early evening, the tremendous gathering had set off. There were gumboot dancers and musicians, children pushing wire cars, grown-ups in crazy costumes, high-stepping drum majorettes, boere on horses alongside Sotho herders on their horses, plus jugglers, puppeteers, and a cast of cheering, jubilant characters representing the town’s marvellous diversity. Everyone was getting along and having a jol.

The parade set off from Rosa and ended in the adjacent township of Mautse at the Waya Waya Tavern – owned, as we discovered, by Jacob Mallane, one of Rosendal’s police officers. Jacob fired up the braais for a good old shisa nyama, while we danced to loud, DJ-pumped music in the yard and were entertained by mesmerising fire jugglers. The enitre weekend was unlike any Valentine’s celebration I’ve ever experienced: unhinged and unforgettable.

We celebrated into the night, sinking the Free State’s most affordable quarts before catching a lift back to Gaffie’s, where we tumbled into bed.

‘Simon,’ I said, ‘I think I’m in love with you.’

‘Nonsense,’ he said. ‘You’re in love with this town.’

‘Oh? Perhaps.’

‘It’s okay,’ he said. ‘So am I.’ Check out the Love Rosendal Festival, taking place from 13-15 February 2015. For more information, visit www.rosendalinfo.org.za.

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A UNIQUELY SOUTH AFRICAN SOLUTION IS TURNING TYRE WASTE INTO WORTH REDISA (Recycling and Economic Development Initiative of South Africa), as gazetted by the Department of Environmental Affairs to clean the environment of tyre waste, is committed to new business development and job creation which is essential to help combat the escalating unemployment rate in the country.

According to REDISA director, Stacey Davidson, the value of small businesses cannot be underestimated, as many are seen as the ‘lifeblood’ of the economy and generate millions of revenue for South Africans annually. “It is our firm belief that by promoting a new recycling industry and developing sustainable SMMEs, we will have a direct impact on the economy through job creation.”

There are millions of waste tyres littering the South African landscape, and the problem is expected to be compounded by an additional 10 million per year.

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This is what REDISA is achieving through the development of a new tyre recycling industry and as it gains momentum, used tyres will grow in value.

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RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT Research and Development is critical for the successful development of the new waste tyre recycling industry and as per the REDISA Plan, 2.5% of the R2.30 per kg of tyre levy is allocated towards this activity.

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REDISA signed a research agreement with Stellenbosch University in July 2013, the purpose of which is to investigate how value can be generated by recycling waste tyres. For the programme, REDISA will be providing the University with funding of R10 million over four years and has to date awarded eight post­ graduate student bursaries as part of the research.

With regards to NMMU, the research focus is on extending the lifecycle of tyres through the development of an environmental rating system. To achieve this, REDISA will provide the institution with funding of R50 million over five years.

The partnership’s resulting tyre testing facility will be a first in Africa, and the largest of its kind in the Southern Hemisphere.

From the end of November 2014, REDISA has created 1604 jobs. REDISA is currently collecting tyres from 1458 dealers, and as the Plan continues in its five­year roll­out, more dealers and collection points will be collected nationwide. In addition, 156 SMME business operations have been established as per the REDISA Plan and roll­out.

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@wasteintoworth

2015/01/21 3:40 PM

Roses are dead,

violets

are through…

Forget about the beautiful sunsets, the intimate candlelit spots and the long walks on the beach.

This Valentine’s Day, Helen Hinkley brings you a list of South Africa’s most unromantic destinations.

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SA'S LEAST ROMANTIC SPOTS | TRAVEL

H

ave you driven passed the rolling fields of sugarcane north of Durban? If you catch them in the late afternoon, the slanting golden light creates wave after wave of soft undulations. It’s exquisite. Which is what led me and my unsuspecting boyfriend to choose a sugarcane field as our ill-fated Valentine’s picnic spot.

Up close, those golden fields are a lot less … welcoming. Had I thought about this for a second, I would have been less surprised. After all, it’s sugarcane, isn’t it? Not sugar grass.

Up close, the fields are all stubby sticks, with nowhere to lay a picnic blanket. They’re populated by cane rats, tractors, and sweaty labourers trudging home after a long day in the sun. Not really the ideal spot for a heart-shaped cake and some sunset smooching.

Still, there are worse places to spend Valentine’s Day. While that rat-infested field holds sway in the top five most unromantic places I’ve ever been, it is by no means alone (more is the pity). Here then, I bring you some other snapshots from my gallery of local travels…

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Winburg, Free State Now, I do understand that places are tainted (or rose-tinted) by personal experiences, but I will never be able to feel romantic in the small town of Winburg in the Free State. It stands out for me as the hottest, driest place on earth, largely because it’s where my dad chose to stop on a seemingly endless drive from Durban to Cape Town. My parents, my youngest brother and I were crammed into a Corsa Lite (that’s a two-door, two-window car, in case you were wondering) without aircon in midsummer. To make matters worse, my brother had decided that this was the ideal time to take up songwriting,

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specifically songs sung to the tune of Nkosi Sikelele in poorly translated Afrikaans.

When we eventually peeled ourselves out of the car in Winburg – the oldest proclaimed town in the Free State, with a proud tradition since 1837, lying adjacent to the N1 highway – all I wanted to do was dive into a cold pool (if for no other reason than to block out my brother’s singing). But the town is pool-less; not one swimming pool to be found. And while I had never before considered a swimming pool an essential ingredient for romance, poor Winburg is now burned into my brain as the hottest, stickiest, sweatiest place on earth. Distinctly unromantic.

Orania, nOrthern Cape In the heart of the Karoo, on the banks of the Orange River, lies Orania: South Africa’s infamous whites-only town.

This stronghold of Afrikaner identity and culture is actually a rather pretty place, if you can ignore the fact that it’s entirely racist and has divorced itself so completely from South Africa that it has its own currency: the ora.

The campsite we stayed at was lush and green, the Koeksister Monument was charming, but the whole town had a creepy Pleasantville atmosphere to it…

Knowing that everyone you interact with is severely right-wing and they are only

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SA'S LeAST ROmANTIC SpOTS | TRAVEL

so welcoming because of the colour of your skin makes it a particularly difficult place to unwind and relax – two essential ingredients for romance.

SaSolburg, Free State An equally unrelaxing spot that’s burned into memory (for all the wrong reasons) is the town of Sasolburg in the Free State. Now, perhaps I shouldn’t have expected much from a place named after a petrochemical company, but the B&B was a sweet garden spot, and the lady we stayed with had baked us homemade rusks and given us a brief life history when we checked in, so my hopes were high.

It turns out that not even a lekker homemade rusk could save this industrial town from being much more than a town named after (and sponsored by, it seems) a petrochemical company.

pics: istock

Springbok, northern Cape And then there’s the Northern Cape town of Springbok. We paused here, very briefly, on our way to the Orange River for a rafting adventure, and drove up and down the main (only) stretch of road (aptly named Voortrekker Road) numerous times in search of something (anything) to eat that wasn’t from the Wimpy. We were unsuccessful. Needless to say, a Valentine’s Day dinner gazing lovingly into my date’s eyes over cream sodas and burgers – along with every other couple in town – isn’t my idea of romance…

That said, the town of Springbok is famous for a tradition that could be construed as rather romantic, if that’s your thing. The ritual is known as the Springbok Sevens, and only slightly related to rugby.

The idea is that while you are in Springbok, you complete the following seven tasks:

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: Take a photo at the Springbok sign welcoming you to the town; : Wear a Springbok jersey (preferably in the photo); : Listen to a track by the band Springbok Nude Girls (preferably while taking the photograph in your Springbok jersey); : Gnaw on some springbok biltong (preferably while wearing the Springbok jersey, listening to Springbok Nude Girls and posing for the above photo); : Braai a cut of springbok meat (please see above list of simultaneous related activities); : Drink a Springbokkie (a half-crème de menthe, half-Amarula shooter, in the patriotic Springbok colours of green and gold); and : Drink another Springbokkie.

And therein lies the potential for romance: drink enough of these guys, and the bright lights and red pleather seats of the Wimpy could look as romantic as any candlelit bistro. Keep it up and that Springbok jersey could start coming off of its own accord.

What this goes to show, of course, is that romance (and the lack thereof) is entirely in the eye of the beholder. So, it’s not exactly fair for me to put my memories of the least romantic spots in our fine country at the top of the list, is it? With this in mind, I opened the voting pool to as wide an audience as I could find: all of Facebook.

And the results were rather surprising.

Surprising, first off, because some people actually did mention my most unromantic spots: Winburg, Sasolburg and Orania all made the list, entirely unprompted. There were other, more specific, suggestions, including OR Tambo Airport, Home Affairs, Canal Walk shopping centre, the strip of plants in the middle of the N1, and a few clear

WHAT THIS GOeS TO SHOW IS THAT ROmANCe IS eNTIReLy IN THe eye OF THe BeHOLDeR winners that emerged. To round off this list of where not to take your date this Valentine’s Day, let me add: Umtata, Eastern Cape Or mthatha, as it is now known: home to scorching-hot weather and dodgy traffic officials hiding behind the few bits of vegetation (apparently).

Witbank, Mpumalanga Also known as emalahleni, meaning ‘place of coal’. enough said.

Benoni, Gauteng Now, I know Charlize Theron might have a different story to tell (and so might some of her high school boyfriends), but I’m not so sure about Benoni’s place in the Hall of Unromance. For starters, it is known as the City of Lakes because it has so many lakes – and what’s more romantic than a picnic by a lake? (Admittedly, I have not been to any of Benoni’s lakes, so I stand corrected.)

It also has more horse stables per square kilometre than anywhere in the southern hemisphere! What does that even mean?

Lots of horses? Horse-drawn carriages? proud steeds cantering across dewy fields as the sun rises? perhaps, perhaps not…

If there’s one thing this list of South Africa’s most unromantic places should prove to you, it’s the power of the imagination in creating (or destroying) romance in any location. Whether you’re jetting off to some exotic destination or cuddling up on the couch this Valentine’s Day, just make sure your imagination gets the invite.

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From Cape Town with love Anthony Sharpe finds love in a lofty place.

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uberchopper | TRAVEL

S

itting in the passenger seat of the Honda Jazz as it swept down the wide curve of Hospital Bend, I frantically tapped words into my phone to capture the feeling that twisted in my stomach, winding its way up through a slight tightness in my chest, before coming to rest in a curl at the left corner of my mouth. I felt a light pressure behind my eyes. The hairs on the back of my neck twitched delicately. I couldn’t stop smiling that ridiculous smile. I was in love.

It wasn’t love at first sight, nor was it unrequited love recognised and returned.

I felt like I’d been on a second honeymoon, like I’d seen an old lover from an entirely new angle, being reminded of just how jaw-droppingly lucky I was to be hers.

The angle in question happened to be from around 750 metres in the air, looking down on the curves and contours of Cape Town – my city, my home and my lover – to the romantic strains of the whirring rotor blades that held me aloft. It wasn’t exactly the most private of dates; I had with me a rather charming chaperone in the form of Captain JD Heyns, and two rival suitors for the affections of my beloved. But, no matter. I could feel our connection even through the curved bubble of glass and the whipped-cream clouds that alighted on her peaks.

And who was the matchmaking service responsible for reigniting the spark? None other than everyone’s personal driver: Uber, usually responsible for getting you home at the end of a particularly boozy dinner date (or the following morning if it’s a particularly successful one). Users of the increasingly popular app may have been a tad confused when they opened up their app in October to find an UberCHOPPER icon in addition to

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TRAVEL | UBERCHOPPER

UNFORTUNATELY, IT’S NOT A HELICOPTER TAXI SERVICE, BUT RATHER THE RESULT OF A NIFTY PARTNERSHIP WITH CAPE TOWN HELICOPTERS

Fly away

UberCHOPPER is available Monday to Sunday, 9am-5pm, until 31 March 2015. The Two Oceans tour costs R1 800, the Peninsula Tour R3 500, and custom tours are priced on demand.

To request a ride, download the free application for Android, iPhone, Blackberry 7, Windows Phone, or register for Uber at www.uber.com. Use the promo code KHULUMA when signing up and get R200 off your first ride in Cape Town, Durban or Jo’burg.

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UberBLACK and UberX. Unfortunately, it’s not an actual helicopter taxi service (now that’s the way to pick up your date!), but rather the result of a nifty partnership with Cape Town Helicopters, based around the back of the V&A Waterfront.

It works like this: you open up your Uber app, slide over to that mystical helicopter icon and hit ‘request’. An UberBLACK (that’s the fancy one, nogal) picks you up and carts you over to the Waterfront. En route, you choose just how much of the city you’d like to see from three options: the Two Oceans tour flies along the Atlantic Coast over to False Bay, passing Fish Hoek and Muizenberg; the Full Peninsula heads out further, all the way to the Cape of Good Hope; or you can customise your tour according to your tastes (and budget), visiting any helipad in Cape Town and its surrounds, throwing in experiences on the ground as you wish.

At the end of it all, an UberBLACK returns you to your pick-up locale, and the whole shebang is charged through the app to your credit card.

I did the Two Oceans tour, which takes about half an hour, and though I would

love to see Cape Point from the air, I think my aorta may have just exploded from excitement had I spent any more time in the air. Ignoring the intimations of my fellow suitors in the back, I gawked at the absurdly turquoise hues of the Atlantic as it crinkled to white foam along the coast, marvelled at the ant-like golf carts zipping around Clovelly Golf Course, felt my heart jostling with my larynx for space in my throat as the endless white sickle curve of Muizenberg came into sight, tried to point out my folks’ house as we buzzed over the southern suburbs, and took about 700 photos of Table Mountain like I’d never seen it before.

And at the end of it all, when we’d returned to the helipad and the rotors had stilled their steady thwup-thwup, and the sensation below my behind was no longer a curious bobbing motion but the sobering sensation of terra firma, I sat for a minute or two in the cockpit and tried to understand how I’d look at the fairest of capes in the same way ever again. And then, during that drive back to my office, grounded in reality and the tethering confines of gravity, I found the answer: with love.

pictures: anthony sharpe

XXXX xxxxxxx

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Melt in your mouth

Transcendental truffles, orgasmic organic or titillatingly tempered – great chocolate should have an age restriction on it, says Trevor Crighton.

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swEEt sEdUction | BEHIND THE SCENES

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lowers, chocolates and wine make up the traditional Valentine’s trifecta, which often lead to a fourth thing (if you get the combination of the first three just right). Each has multiple facets that appeal to the different senses, but there’s something special about chocolate and the effect it has on people. Aztec soldiers were given a beverage made from cacao beans to sustain themselves in the heat of pitched battles – and one could posit that Aztec history might have been significantly less impressive if the guys had been given wine instead.

Nowadays, chocolate is just as formidable a weapon, if used correctly.

So we asked three of South Africa’s top chocolatiers how you should be arming yourself with a view to winning your own Valentine’s Day battle.

Anthony Gird and Michael de Klerk started Honest Chocolate in Cape Town after their dual chocolate journeys converged in the Mother City. Today, they make small batches of artisanal chocolate by hand, using traditional methods and raw, organic cacao from Ecuador.

Richard von Geusau got fed up of being a big city accountant and moved to the Western Cape village of Greyton. He started making chocolates in his cottage, and now supplies some of Cape Town’s top hotels with his products, handmade using the best couverture chocolate from a renowned Belgian supplier.

Sisters Sarah and Jane Jager took over Saszali Chocolates from founder Anya Lourens, and have used their respective backgrounds as designer and pastry chef to develop a range of delicious truffles that pair, among other ingredients, cream, herbs, spices, fruits and teas with excellent Belgian chocolate.

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swEEt sEdUction | BEHIND THE SCENES

If you DoN’T ENjoy ChoColATE, WE fEEl you ArE jusT lyINg To yoursElf AND DEprIvINg yoursElf of oNE of lIfE’s grEATEsT plEAsurEs

Can anyone give/make great chocolate?

Honest Chocolate (HC): Everyone enjoys it, but it might take a few times to find the perfect chocolate for each person. We all have our particular tastes.

Von Geusau (VG): There is good chocolate and not so good chocolate!

Everyone enjoys their chocolate wherever it fits into the rating.

Saszali Chocolates (SC): No, it takes a skilled artisan to make it right.

Anyone can learn, but you need a lot of passion, a way with flavour pairings, some patience and a lot of attention to detail to make great chocolate or, in our case, chocolate truffles. Chocolate truffles involve even more passion as each one is individually rolled and hand dipped.

During the festive season, we produced an average of 1 000 truffles a week, individually rolled and dipped. At those times, we realised that passion needs to be matched with almost superhuman patience. If you don’t enjoy chocolate, we feel you are just lying to yourself and depriving yourself of one of life’s greatest pleasures!

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BEHIND THE SCENES | sweet seduction

Chocolate is sometimes paired with wine or coffee. Is it wise to introduce another party to the equation, just for the sake of experimentation?

HC: If the pairing is open to it, then it’s okay – as long as one doesn’t dominate the others.

VG: It is very wise to introduce your chocolate to good company – wine, port, cognac, whiskey and coffee – just don’t force the relationship!

SC: We welcome experimentation, why not, hey? There is always the chance that you will discover an experience that is better than you’d previously … tasted.

When do you lay out the bonbons, and when is it time to go ‘full slab’?

HC: The bonbons are the irresistible gateway chocolates to the darker slabs.

VG: Both, all the time!

SC: Ooh, this is tough. The round little truffles make great after-dinner desserts with coffee. The variety of flavours makes bonbons a great gift too. But don’t be fooled. On a cool winter’s evening, with a bestie and a few episodes of Friends, one or two truffles will never suffice. Maybe whip out that cranberry and pistachio slab at this point, so that at least you will reach the end of it and will have to stop. We honestly aren’t too picky, though.

How do you put the snap in your slab?

HC: We pour the melted chocolate out on a slab and temper it by hand. This process gives it a gloss and a snap.

SC: It’s all down to tempering. This process is basically all about calculations in temperature and timing – a process of melting the chocolate to a specific temperature allows for a crisp snap and glossy finish. Consistency in this process is vital. It takes experience and a sharp eye, but that perfect snap and gloss is an awesome reward.

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BEHIND THE SCENES | sweet seduction

Does doing it by hand make it better?

HC: It’s much more satisfying and helps you keep in touch with the chocolate.

VG: It makes it real … it makes it special.

SC: Of course. Handmade products are always more authentic and unique. No one customer’s experience of our truffles will be the same as no truffle is exactly the same.

The ‘snap’ is what everyone listens for when breaking off a piece of goodquality chocolate. What other sounds have your chocolate produced from tasters?

HC: We’ve had a lot of what we now call ‘chocolate orgasms’ when people taste our bonbons or chocolate macadamia cups.

It’s a mix of sounds and facial expressions.

Age is no factor; we’ve had 70-year-old ladies yelping in delight.

SC: People who eat our salted caramel for the first time usually just look up at us and go, ‘oh my f…’.

Aztec soldiers were originally given a chocolate drink to sustain themselves during battle. What kind of chocolate should we be eating in the 21st century

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CHOCOLATe IS ONe Of THe ONLy fOODS IN THe WOrLD THAT MeLT AT BODy TeMPerATure to sustain us for prolonged periods of physical effort?

HC: Definitely our 72%+ maca root slab.

Maca root is an ancient super food from Peru, and is said to enhance your libido. We also make a coconut oil-based chocolate spread. We often joke that for Valentine’s Day, people should buy the maca slab for libido and then the chocolate spread for whatever comes to mind next.

VG: I guess milk chocolate can get a look in here!

‘Mouth feel’ is an important part of enjoying chocolate. What’s the best sensation?

HC: Smooth and velvety, without a doubt.

VG: Definitely smooth and velvety, sometimes a bit of crunch, too.

SC: Chocolate is one of the only foods in

the world that melt at body temperature, so it is most enjoyed when you just let it sit on your tongue and melt. That’s the way the flavour can be enjoyed best.

Something for everyone If ‘organic’ is your thing, check out www.honestchocolate.co.za, or visit them at their world-first Honest Chocolate Cafe at 64A Wale Street in Cape Town. Like your chocolate a little stylish? Visit Von Geusau’s site at www.vgchcolate.co.za, or visit Waterford Winery in Stellenbosch to taste an exciting range of chocolates made specifically to pair with wines. If truffles are your thing (and why wouldn’t they be?), visit www.saszali.co.za, or pop into I Love My Laundry on Buitenkant Street in Cape Town to experience Jane & Sarah’s evil – but delicious – genius.

pictures: supplied

Is the popular saying, ‘Once you go dark, you’ll never go back’, really true?

HC: Definitely. It may take a few bites, but once it gets you, there’s no going back.

VG: Often true. It’s more intense and satisfying – you are satisfying the chocolate desire, rather than the sweetness desire!

SC: We find this is true mostly for men.

Women still like a little white chocolate every now and again, though. And surely everyone goes back to caramel at some point in their lives.

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2015/01/22 11:50 AM

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DRIVe | ACTION

Tourer de force David Taylor packs everything but the kitchen sink into Honda’s new Civic Tourer.

pictures: supplied

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hen you think of a Honda Civic, you’re either thinking of backward-capped teenagers in blinged-out cars, or pensioners driving to the shops at a snail’s pace. Truth is, while these stereotypes may be true, there’s so much more to the Honda Civic.

Take this latest version for example. It’s called the Tourer, and while most of you will flip the page in boredom at a boring estate, hear me out and take a closer look at the design. Have you ever seen a cooler-looking car than this Type S? It just oozes cool and futuristic style.The magic doesn’t stop there, either

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Inside, this car boasts an unreal loadcarrying ability, thanks to its clever seats.

See, while the Tourer usually does duty as a five-seater sedan with a generous boot, you can fold the back seats completely and land up with a van. No jokes.

With the seats folded flat, the opportunities to carry stuff are endless.

Flat-screen TVs? Fine, we’ll have two of those big boys. Mountain bike? Simple.

Surfboards? We can fit in six of them.

Seriously, this car is a dream if you need to go on holiday or move house, and full marks go to Honda for creating something that is stylish yet completely practical and sensible.

There’s only one engine to choose from in South Africa at the moment. This 1.8-litre petrol is not the worst motor in the world, but I feel a diesel engine would be more appropriate. It’s available in manual and automatic, and if you’re a lazy driver (like me), you’d opt for the latter, because no one enjoys cramps

from continuously working the clutch in start/stop traffic.

In terms of gadgets, there are quite a few cool things in this Honda Civic Tourer. There’s a reverse camera (handy, especially as this is a longer-than-usual car), heated leather seats, a sound system that would make The Who proud, automatic headlamps, automatic windscreen wipers, and adjustable rear suspension (admittedly, I couldn’t feel any difference while switching between the modes, but I’m assured it’s quite noticeable under load).

In summary, the Honda Civic Tourer is a sophisticated yet practical family car.

I find it strange that estates aren’t sold in greater numbers in South Africa, as they just have that elusive cool factor. I guess the allure of a compact SUV has just proven too strong. Nevertheless, the Honda Civic Tourer makes a damn cool estate and you’re getting a fine piece of machinery for your R368 900.

FebRuaRy 2015

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ACTION | DRIVE

Hot power hatches Absolute power corrupts absolutely, and there’s little more corrupting than a rocket-ship hatchback.

AUDI RS3

ii Expected to hit our shores some time later this year, the new Audi RS3 is an all-wheel-drive monster, thanks to its 2.5-litre turbo with 270kW and 465Nm. How does 0-100km/h in 4.3 seconds grab you? That’s faster than most modern sports cars!

the fiver

u

M135i v BMW ii Of course, when one German brand has an über-hatch, the rest of the Germans have to follow suit. BMW’s answer is the M135i. Thanks to rear-wheel drive, a six-speed manual gearbox and a wonderful 3.0-litre turbo straight six engine, this vehicle could easily take the crown of purest driving machine.

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MERCEDES-BENZ A45

ii Not to be outdone, Mercedes-Benz has thrown the little A45 AMG into the mix. Combining all-wheel drive and the world’s most powerful 2.0-litre turbo engine, this stylish rocket has all the credentials to be a real performer.

MEGANE RS275 TROPHY x RENAULT ii It’s the only front-wheel-drive hot hatch in this list and it’s the only

e Becaus ve o we all l t a lis

y

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text: david taylor; pictures: supplied

non-German, but that doesn’t mean it’s a slouch. This particular version of the popular hot hatch currently holds the Nürburgring record for the fastest hatchback.

VOLKSWAGEN GOLF R400

ii I’m cheating a little here, as the VW Golf R400 hasn’t yet been confirmed for production and is still a concept, but we live in hope. VW claims this car will have 294kW and 450Nm from a 2.0-litre turbo engine, and thanks to a combination of all-wheel drive and a quick-shifting DSG transmission, it should really upset the established rivals.

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property | stuff

Dim the lights Hasmita Amtha illuminates how you can set the mood in your home with lighting.

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hen mood lighting is mentioned, often the first thing that comes to mind is lamps being turned down low, so that the mood of the room can slow down in energy to create a relaxed atmosphere. However, a super-bright space is also considered a part of mood lighting and will give a dark space a boost in energy.

With Valentine’s Day on our doorstep, many couples will choose to rather spend the evening in the luxury of their own home instead of braving the madness of busy restaurants, dreary romance films in packed cinemas, or other couples stealing

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their favourite picnic spots. Here’s how to set the mood just right for romance…

unflattering security spotlights and focus on creating soft light.

Take iT ouTside

dinner daTe

In South Africa, we are pretty lucky to experience the day of love during summer, so surprise your loved one with a cocktail and starter outside in the garden. put together a romantic space where the two of you can watch the sunset and enjoy some food and drinks.

Create a romantic glow in this area with delicate string lights, lanterns and any additional outdoor lighting that you already have. Stay away from the bright,

Creating a space where you and your date can indulge in a delicious, home-cooked meal is often as important as the meal itself. While a candlelit dinner is a romantic thought, most of us like to see what we’re eating (unless you've bollocksed it up entirely), and that’s where the clever use of lighting can add to the ambience.

Downlights and dimmer switches are always a must for all your rooms, especially for your dining space.

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stuff | prOpErTY

bedroom basics Yes, there is no better way to set the mood than to dim the lights, as the human mood is highly sensitive to any changes in light.

With softer lighting, automatically the mind is calmed and directed into a relaxed mode (hopefully not too relaxed, though).

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It goes without saying that the most romantic lighting fixture is a classic, French-inspired crystal chandelier. If you prefer modern lighting fixtures, look at different colours and styles that will give a modern look.

Once again, downlights and dimmer switches can easily provide you with the ideal lighting solution to any bedroom space. But for your main bedroom, consider the décor you have around your bed, and play with accent lamps, bedside lamps and freestanding lamps, which will not only add to your decor, but also complement the romantic atmosphere.

As the saying goes, ‘Every day should be Valentine’s Day,’ and with these lighting solutions you can most definitely come home to a glowing space of love.

For more design inspiration, get your copy of SA Home Owner magazine, on shelves now.

Lightbulb moments

• If the inevitable load-shedding happens, invest in solar lights, gas lanterns and loads of candles.

• Rather soften the room with a yellow glow, as opposed to a bright, white light.

• Stick with CFLs and LED bulbs.

These energy-efficient bulbs are designed with soft light in mind.

• If you would like a bit of colour, tinted bulbs are the latest craze.

If you opt for a rosy shade, you can easily create an attractive glow for your desired space.

• As beautiful as it may look, don’t use string lights in your bedroom to create a romantic ambience – this can often come across as a little tacky.

pictures: supplied

Adding accent lighting pieces to this will contribute to the look and feel of the room.

Low-hanging pendant lighting, which drops from the ceiling above the dining table, has become a popular trend recently. This can be achieved with a grand chandelier or three to four (depending on the length of your dining table) simple, droplet-pendant light fixtures.

With these lighting options, you can either turn down all the downlights and have just the pendant lighting switched on, or dim the downlights and have candles glowing on the table to enhance the mood.

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STUFF | MONEY MATTERS

things to do before you say 'I do' If you’re ready to take the leap of faith that marriage requires, you’ll need to carefully consider the implications of merging your finances as well, says Katherine Graham.

Find a banking 4 system that works For you

draw up an 1 antenuptial contract

an asset and 2do liability assessment

You need to know everything about your partner, and this extends to their finances.

Do they have any debt? What assets do they have? Do they have life insurance and medical aid? ‘Set up a meeting with a financial adviser,’ urges Cebisa

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Mfenyana from Metropolitan. ‘He/she will be able to do an accurate assessment of your finances and advise you on how better to manage these together.’

You’ll need to weigh up carefully whether to pool resources in a joint bank account, or keep your finances separate. ‘The drawback of having one account is that the account will be frozen if your spouse passes away, leaving you stranded,’ comments business coach Izak Strauss. For tax purposes, it’s necessary to have a bank account in your own name. You could consider having separate bank accounts, but open a shared account from which you pay for household expenses like your mortgage, groceries, municipal bills and so on.

your partner’s shared 3know 5have money philosophy Financial goals Opposites attract. If you’re a saver, you may find it annoying that you’re attracted to someone who likes spending money.

How do you reconcile your differences?

‘Try to identify and appreciate each other’s approach to money,’ advises Cebisa. ‘Aim for a comfortable compromise that complements your individual style and works for both of you.’

For example, if you’re a spender, make sure you include money for shopping treats in your monthly budget (and then stick to it).

‘It’s important to merge your money and your life,’ asserts Izak. To do this, decide what your shared financial goals are – whether you’re saving for an overseas holiday or investing for your retirement.

You might need a financial adviser to help you set your plans in motion. ‘Keep the bigger picture in mind and then work backwards to what the short- and medium-term goals are,’ says Izak. With any luck, who knows? You may be able to afford that trip to Mauritius in time for your 10-year anniversary.

picture: istock

Shortly before Lewis Pugh, aka the Human Polar Bear, tied the knot with his childhood sweetheart, he swore that antenuptial agreements were for those who were ‘planning for failure’.

You may agree with him, but if your partner runs a business and you’d prefer not to be hounded by their creditors if the company flops, it’s wiser to get married out of community of property.

Better yet, consider an antenuptial contract with accrual. ‘The basis of the accrual system is that each party is allowed to retain independently the value of the assets that he or she brought into the marriage and then share what they built up during their marriage,’ explains financial advisor Kevin Fowle.

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2015/01/22 3:24 PM

STUFF | HEALTH

You are born perfect. Beautiful and in the best possible shape… Then, along the way, life happens to you. And before you know it, you’re caught in a constant battle with your body – to the point that you stop loving yourself.

Cultivate a sound mind You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control how you act. How do you programme yourself when life happens to you? Do you think negative thoughts and tell yourself you’re not good enough … a downright failure?

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Why not try to believe the best about yourself? Instead of looking for what you do wrong, see the things you do right. Believe in yourself and accept the things that happen around you as simply that: things. It’s not you.

live With a Compassionate heart Caring for others will always reap rewards. But you can only care for others if you care for yourself as well. When you can be at peace with who you are and love yourself, you can have compassion for other people and live a fulfilling life.

have Capable hands Your life will become richer as you learn more skills and become more refined. Be conscious of opportunities around you and never stop learning. As long as you keep growing, you will attract

more possibilities and even more opportunities to learn.

Willing feet Once you’ve decided to do something, do it! Have a willingness to ‘walk the talk’.

And once you’ve started, try to keep up the momentum.

Clarity of resolve A strong resolve enables you to be disciplined towards accomplishing your goal/s, and to sustain it. You need to understand what you want and why you want it, and truly believe with a strong conviction that you really are the only person who owns your life and how you live it. Do not rely on external forces to drive you, find it within yourself.

Why don’t you give yourself the gift of self-love this Valentine’s Day? That streamlined body is hidden below layers of self-doubt and disregard. Take back your body by taking back your heart. You can be successful in whatever you attempt.

Start your journey to a better you today.

text: supplied by christo strydom nutrition; image: istock

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e face higher than ever stress levels, lethargic living and easily accessible processed food. One of the side effects of unhealthy living is gaining excess weight. Not only does it affect your self-confidence, but it also results in various lifestyle diseases and discomforts. In short, you feel worse and worse about yourself…

Before you can even consider attempting a diet or lifestyle to get back into shape, you need to start loving yourself again. With Valentine’s Day fever in the air, love is promoted just about everywhere – except where it matters most: loving yourself. How do you do that? By becoming an effective person, with a little attitude tweaking where it matters most.

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2015/01/22 11:55 AM

STUFF | COMPETITIONS & LETTERS

MICHELLE: ‘THANKS FOR KEEPING FLYING FUNNY.’

Have your say

OBiKWA giveaway

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Hi guys, On 22 December 2014, my husband and I flew to Jo’burg from Durban. My husband has difficulty walking, so we used your ‘assisted passenger’ service. A lady at Durban, named Thandeka, helped us with such efficiency and friendliness. It really is nice to have such service when one is getting on in years!

On our return flight on 28 December 2014, we had to wait in your waiting room for the ‘assisted passengers’ again. The air conditioning was not working and there were a few very agitated passengers! Your staff members manning the waiting room were professional and understanding. They were taken to task (not nice to see from another passenger’s side), and I was very upset to see this coming from decent-looking people! The staff kept their ‘cool’, and informed the passengers that they’d reported the matter to the persons concerned. Well done for them. We were once again assisted by a gentleman named Dakalo, who happened to help us when we arrived in Jo’burg. What a friendly person! He took my husband to the toilet before we boarded the plane, as he could not walk to the toilet by himself. This I call service!

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2015/01/22 11:59 AM

STUFF | COLUMN

An idiot’s guide to writing a love letter Ah, the language of love! That elusive, many-tongued beast that we so often get wrong…

Luckily, Helen Hinkley has all the tips you need to ace this year’s Valentine’s Day love letter.

Guys

Do: Be sincere. The heart of any love letter is telling the woman in your life how you really feel. Be frank, be honest, be sincere, and of course, be you.

Be specific. What exactly do you love about her? The way she (still) laughs at your jokes? The fact that you can go to the loo in front of each other? The dimple on her left cheek?

Be flowery. You’re not writing a reminder on your phone; you’re writing an epistle of romance. Make it as flowery as you can (and even just a little exaggerated).

Don’t: Be casual. This is no place for a ‘Hey babe, luv u xxx’. Here we’re looking for something more along the lines of:

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‘My darling [insert name here], words cannot fully grasp the extent of my love for you (etc.)’.

Be graphic. Please. Imagine your mother was reading this (but in a totally nonincestuous way).

Be brief. See previous example. If you’re going to the effort of putting pen to paper (and you are: no typing allowed), then you may as well make it worth something.

Spell out your feelings. Sing her praises.

Highlight just how wonderful she makes you feel. I guarantee that the reward for giving your lady a carefully thought-out, beautifully written letter will far outweigh the effort.

Gals

Don’t: Be insincere. Obviously, but this is no place for heavy-handedness.

Be specific. Yes, it may well have been 9:38pm on 5 July when you first saw him at your friend Terry’s party, but those kind of (dare I say intense?) details you can keep to yourself.

Be flowery. Men are pretty direct beasts. The male of the species is far more likely to spell something out clearly and efficiently than to write a poem about it. Speak to him in his language, just this once.

Do: Be casual. A love letter to a man is no place for Shakespeare’s hand.

Be graphic. Not so graphic that you make him blush (unless that’s your kind of thing), but spelling out a promise of naughty business in some form will no doubt exponentially increase the value of the letter in his eyes.

Be brief. As in less than a page. A few short lines saying why you love him and how lucky you are to have him are worth far more than a few thousand words detailing every aspect of his personality and what you like about him. Guaranteed.

In conclusion, the golden law of love letters these days, it seems, is ‘everything in moderation’.

illustration: pete woodbridge

W

hile I’m not so sure that men and women hail from two different planets in our solar system, they certainly speak different languages.

Here is a stereotypical guide to writing a letter for the opposite sex that will be read in exactly the right way.

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