Khuluma 47 by Jayne Macé-Ferguson

December

Holidaze Starring NataniĂŤl FOR THE MENU see pages 2 & 3

2015

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ecember is the month for being bad. Not Hannibal Lecter bad, but rather eating that second chocolate éclair or braaing three times a week bad. Social norms dictate that we should not get drunk, steal a police car, and then see if we can use it to harvest mielies. We should rather consult

our traumatised conscience after missing a session at gym. Very sad indeed. The whole purpose of December is to escape the responsible and boring rut, and enjoy a quick midlife crisis, even if our bodies now look more like Father Christmas than David Beckham. This might also explain why a well-known hotel resort has a resident paramedic – to deal with guests who have crashed golf cars at midnight, jumped off their balconies into the swimming pool (or not quite) or taken a Jet Ski onto the water after a few mojitos. All of the good stuff you’re probably not allowed to do at home. The crux of the matter is that if you’re not going to let rip in December, then you’ll spend the next 11 months being that person with nothing to talk about at the coffee machine, other than how your mother complained that the chicken was too burnt, or that the kids took all the orange Quality Streets before you could get to the bag, or that you missed the last episode of Downton Abbey. Now, I’m not proposing that you go hunt Simba, or ride a unicycle down the side of an active volcano, or run a Syrian camel race while draped in a French flag. However, go somewhere where you can ride a donkey, try wearing a Borat mankini to the next braai (or to the clubhouse), slide down a sand dune on a piece of cardboard, eat scary food, and explore Benoni. I intend to spend December eating, drinking and being merry, seeing how fast my mountain bike will go, looking for live music, and not visiting any Active Virgins.

Erik Venter, CEO: Comair Ltd

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Contents

DECEMBER 2015

44 Regulars 1

VIEW FROM THE TOP Our CEO on holidays, catharsis and riding a unicycle down the side of a volcano

ÜBER-EDITOR’S LETTER Nataniël on the value of actually relaxing over the holidays

KULULA PAGES What makes the SA festive season so special?

Guide 16

COMPETITIONS Win stuff! Lots of stuff!!

THE NOTICEBOARD Our festive-season roundup of what’s going on around SA

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WESTERN CAPE What to do, what to wear, what to eat and where to sleep in and around the Mother City this month GAUTENG Get busy, show down, shop till you drop, then sleep it off in Gauteng

KWAZULU-NATAL Play, eat, dress and dos like a real KZNite

GARDEN ROUTE Food, fashion and fabulous getaways along our glorious Garden Route

TOP TIPPLE Festive tipples for every conceivable end-of-year occasion

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BEAUTY The latest beauty buys to look, smell and feel fabulous

103 WATCH Take a break from shopping with a trip to the movies 107 READ Make the most of your extra free time with these literary larks 111

LISTEN A blend of new and old CD releases, and we chat to the legendary Claire Johnston of Mango Groove

118 GAMES Beat the holiday buzz with these thumb-twiddling games 123 TECH Essential gadgets and gizmos for your home and travels

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134 198 Chat

128 A TWIST IN THE TLALE Nataniël chats to internationally renowned fashion designer David Tlale about humble beginnings and fame in South Africa 134 DOING IT HERSELF The delightful Suzelle DIY gives Nataniël tips on how to survive the hectic rush of December, and how to navigate YouTube 142 LOCAL HERO Recognising Santa’s most worthy (and generous) elves 153 LOCAL HERO The facts about World AIDS Day 158 LOCAL HERO Salty Hour is bringing surfing back to the Eastern Cape

Travel

164 WET, WILD AND NOWHERE NEAR THE SEA Skip the seaside this year and head to these fantastic inland holiday destinations 172 HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND SURVIVE THE CARAVAN PARK Step into the magical world of South African caravanning 180 FAR FROM THE MADDING CROWD Looking for some peace and quiet? Head to these alternative crowd-free spots 190 WANTED: HOLIDAYS FOR PARENTS Pack up all your troubles (kids) in an old kit bag and smile all the way to relaxation 198 LOS VIAJES DE UN GULLIVER ASPIRANTE On the road with Google in Spain 204 DAZED AND CONFUSED, AMAZED AND AMUSED The wackiest holiday festivities from SA and abroad

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212

220

Action

212 BEHIND THE SCENES The brave guys and gals who keep us safe at the beach 220 BEHIND THE SCENES Singin’ in the Rain is set to make the Mother City wet, wet, wet this month 228 SPECIAL FEATURE All the good and bad news that made us choke on our breakfast this year 235 DRIVE Aim for the summit with the Ford Everest, and five of the best vehicles for towing that caravan or boat or both 239 DRIVE Safety tips for festive-season driving

Stuff

243 PROPERTY Make your home as welcoming as a hotel 248 MONEY MATTERS Give more than just your prayers to the less fortunate this festive season 251 BUSINESS Why you should end this year thinking about the next 252 BUSINESS What’s the deal with outsourcing? 255 HEALTH Helpful hints for a healthy summer 259 COLUMN Ben Trovato on the great annual coastal migration

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EDITORIAL Editor Anthony Sharpe – anthonys@picasso.co.za Content Manager Raina Julies Copy Editors Lynn Berggren, Vanessa Rogers Content Co-ordinator Vanessa Payne ART Head of Design Studio Jayne Macé-Ferguson Designers Anja Hagenbuch, Mfundo Archie Ndzo Production Editor Shamiela Brenner Cover Photograph Clinton Lubbe Make-up Artist Lyn Kennedy Wardrobe Floris Louw SALES Business Manager Lodewyk van der Walt – lodewykv@picasso.co.za Project Manager Richard White khlassifieds Project Manager Steve Norval Sales Consultants Stephen Crawford, Jay Deary, Bonnie Eksteen, Randall Grace, Eugene Howard, Louis le Roux, Lana Martens, Marc Plastow, Andre Potgieter, Roman Ross, Clint Smith, Zelda Stein Advertising Co-ordinator Vanessa Payne OPERATIONS Senior Bookkeeper Deidre Musha General Manager: Magazines Jocelyne Bayer KULULA.COM CEO Comair Limited Erik Venter Head of Department: Marketing, kulula.com Shaun Pozyn Marketing Manager, kulula.com Bridgette Ramuluvhana Brand Manager, kulula.com Thembeka Mabaso COMAIR LIMITED 1 Marignane Drive, Bonaero Park, Kempton Park, 1619 Tel: 011 921 0111 | kulula.com contact centre: 0861 KULULA (585852)

To advertise in this magazine, please contact Richard White (Project Manager) at 021 469 2542, or email richardw@picasso.co.za To advertise in the khlassifieds section, please contact Steve Norval (Project Manager) at 021 469 2435, or email steven@picasso.co.za Copyright: No portion of this magazine may be reproduced in any form without written consent of the publishers. The publishers are not responsible for unsolicited material. khuluma is published monthly by Picasso Headline Reg: 59/01754/07. The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of Picasso Headline, kulula or Times Media. All advertisements/advertorials and promotions have been paid for and therefore do not carry any endorsement by the publishers. While every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of its contents, neither kulula, nor the publisher can be held responsible for any omissions or errors, or for any misfortune, injury or damages that may arise therefrom. We reserve the right to edit interviews for layout purposes.

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ÜBER-EDITOR OF THE MONTH

Nataniël Don't forget to relax

speaker. Check out nataniel.co.za.

DECEMBER 2015

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grew up as part of a large, happy and very busy family. The highlight of every year was December, when the entire family got together in Wellington in the enormous building my grandparents called home. There were six children, their spouses, and one-million grandchildren. The house was filled with rows of Christmas cards, a colourful tree so high it touched the ceiling, enough cake to feed the earth and wild flowers in every imaginable container. The kitchen was large and the menu was not healthy. It was a time of abundance, laughter, surprises, food, food, food and magic. We, the grandchildren, staged regular concerts in which I, the control freak, featured as Joseph, Mary, baby Jesus and the three wise men, while the nephews and nieces were obedient shepherds. It was a time of peace, love and happiness. As a young boy, enchanted by my grandmother’s unique presence and energy (and clothes), I never heard talk of global warming, the government, the fall of the rand, sickness, war, corruption or crime. We laughed, we ate. Each meal was a banquet and nobody put on weight. These days life is different. People are exhausted when their holiday starts, and they are broken by the time it finishes. Every January we are less prepared and have less energy to start the new year. The end of the year brings celebration, but also financial worries, travel, traffic, more crime, in-laws, outlaws, crowds of people, no parking space, bad news, demanding family members and hormonal teenagers. In order to relax, to rest completely and sufficiently, there are a few musts – whether you are staying at home or braving the malls and beaches. Silence. Every day, every person needs a few minutes of complete silence. The puzzle between your ears needs to come together again, this can only happen with real silence. Sleep. It is affordable, it is available, just find the time. Eat. The right way. You need to sit down, breathe, smell, look and taste. Your body needs to go into a healing mode NATANIËL’S in order to be healthy. Eating on the run or with loud CREDS noise is not good. Nataniël has been in the South Designate a time and a place every day when African entertainment industry for more than 26 years. He’s pretty no negative talk is allowed. No cellphones, no much donned every hat the industry newspapers, no TV. This is normal. Discover it. required – from producer and I wish you the best time! Be safe. Be happy. director to writer, designer, playwright and public Be responsible.

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flying 101: what makes the South African festive season so special?

DECEMBER 2015

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are served around our festive tables for a lekker local twist. Saffers (South Africans) also love to go camping and caravanning during the holidays and it wouldn’t be a true South African festive season without the sound of kids on scooters or rollerblades riding around a caravan park. Some fun Capetonian traditions over the holidays include various carols-bycandlelight productions, the Adderley Street lights and, of course, the Kaapse Klopse (Cape Minstrels) and their colourful parade on Tweede Nuwejaar (2 January, literally meaning second New Year’s Day). In Durbs everyone heads down to the beach or uShaka Marine World – South Africa’s most-loved marine park, where sun seekers and water lovers meet to

celebrate summer. Holidays in Durban are not complete without enjoying its most famous food – the bunny chow (a hollowed out loaf of bread filled with delicious local Indian curry). Those not heading to the beach over the festive season are most likely to be found animal spotting in one of our national parks or next to a dam for a picnic and some fishing. And just because you’re not away on holiday does not mean that you won’t smell sunblock and summer. Our nation loves cooking and eating outside, so for those at home, all-day braais with friends and family keep things festive. Wherever you find yourself this festive season, make sure you get there on a big green flying machine. Have fun and celebrate what makes our festive season truly unique.

picture: supplied

ecember in South Africa is a time for family and friends – celebrating the year that has passed. When we think of the festive season, we think long holidays, sunshine, entertainment, special food and lots of laughter. So what really makes this time of year so special? In Mzansi, the festive season coincides with the school holidays and most of our inland population heads to the seaside for some sea, sun and sand. We let loose with hot summer beats, instead of listening to songs about snow, jingling bells and reindeer with red noses. Another thing that makes our festive season so special is that we can make sand angels instead of freezing in sub-zero temperatures. A more recent tradition in our festive season is the wide choice of outdoor concerts, shows and markets. You can also relax at home and catch up on some movie classics such as Love Actually and Home Alone, while sipping on a Slush Puppie and being grateful that we don’t have to shovel our driveways to get to the store. Then there’s the food. Yum. Malva pudding (a typical SA pudding - if you’re not a local, you have to try it!), trifle, Boxing Day braai (a barbecue), watermelons on New Year’s Day and litres of ice cream. The food is definitely the best part about celebrating the festive season in sunny SA. Our country’s melting pot of cultures ensures that some mouthwatering traditional dishes

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take a break without breaking the budget! Since 2008, eBucks and kulula.com have partnered to save countless South Africans from sad holidays at home watching their piggy banks go on an imposed diet. It’s easy. You can choose to pay for your kulula.com ticket in eBucks, an FNB card or any combination of the two, and get sky-high eBucks discounts of up to 40% off on your flight when you book through eBucks Travel online. To join eBucks, visit eBucks.com Switch to FNB by visiting you nearest FNB branch or apply online at FNB.co.za. Choose your favourite Tsogo Sun hotel and let kulula book your room. Now that’s luxury you can afford.

Rent a car with your flight and get a 10% discount, or get the best rates with Europcar.

Protea Hotels ensure your stay with them is as unique as the kulula experience. Try out any one of the hotels – you won’t forget the experience.

As a Discovery Vitality member, you can earn Discovery Miles, which you can use towards paying for your next kulula flight.

twitter.com/kulula facebook.com/iflykulula

THE NOTICEBOARD spend and you could win Start spending on your kulula credit card today! All you need to do is spend R12 000 or more before 11 January 2016 and you could stand a chance to win your share of R45 000 back into your kulula credit-card account. 1st prize: R30 000 2nd prize: R10 000 3rd prize: R5 000 For more info, visit kulula.com. Ts&Cs apply. Issued by FRB Ltd.

kulula.com

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GUIDE | COMPETITIONS

Beware the bite

One time-savvy khuluma reader can win a Viper Lite SF300 fingerprint time-and-attendance terminal worth R10 000. The Viper Lite SF300 uses biometric fingerprint technology to verify both fingerprints and cards. You can gain access to reports on your employees’ clocking times to monitor their work time, including overtime. The Viper software is also integrated with all major payroll softwares for easy calculation on wages and salaries.

Electrifying exercise

One reader can win a month’s worth of sessions (four sessions) with BODYTEC®. BODYTEC® is the leading EMS studio chain in South Africa (since 2011), and the German technology has been used for years in sports rehabilitation and professional sports. The all-over, high-intensity muscle activation makes this an ideal time-saving muscle-strength training. There are 24 BODYTEC® studios across the country in Gauteng, KZN and the Western Cape. Visit bodytec.co.za.

Caribbeautiful

We’ve got a R500 Caribbean Tan hamper to give away, comprising a skin-smoothing Cinnamon and Coconut Exfoliator, Milk and Honey Tan X-tender Skin Hydrating Body Butter, Gradual Bronzing Mousse (skin type B), Tan in a Can Gradual Colour (skin type A), Tan in Can Instant Colour (skin type B), Tanning Spritzer Instant Colour (skin type C), Protection in a Can SPF15, and Tinted Skin Glow Shimmer Cream. Caribbean Tan products are available at Clicks, Dis-Chem and selected pharmacies nationwide.

Competitions

To enter

Go to khulumaonline.co.za and hit the competitions tab. Competitions are open to all South African residents over the age of 18, excluding employees of Picasso Headline/Times Media Ltd/kulula.com/ Comair Limited, and close on 31 December 2015.

Delicious Chrysalis

One lucky khuluma reader can win a J.C. Le Roux hamper comprising two of the sparkling wines from their Chrysalis range! Inspired by an exhilarating rebirth through metamorphosis, each individual J.C. Le Roux sparkling wine has been transformed with beautifully designed foils and ribbons adorned with butterflies, birds, enchanted forests and flowers to represent new life. Check out jcleroux.co.za.

Go bosch!

One lucky khulumite can win the New Year’s Eve of a lifetime with two tickets to the Kirstenbosch New Year’s Eve concert featuring modern-folk muso Jeremy Loops and rock/funk/reggae/Latin band Grassy Spark, with a R500 Pick n Pay voucher to pack your own picnic and a R300 Uber voucher to get you to the concert!

DECEMBER 2015

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The vine-al countdown

We’ve got two VIP weekend passes to the Electric Vines New Year’s Eve Festival to give away, along with two festival packs, valued at R6 000 in total! Set alongside the Bot River, the festival features three stages hosting artists such as Goldfish, Mi Casa and The Kiffness. Check out electricvines.co.za.

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Some fake it in bed and you will never know

THE MILLENNIUM® RING — A SHIMANSKY ORIGINAL

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GUIDE | COMPETITIONS

No Harnn done

We’ve got a HARNN Oriental Herb Scent of True Love gift set to give away. Renowned for its natural botanical and exotic ingredients sourced from Asia, HARNN’s natural body-, skin- and haircare ranges and home spa collections combine the knowledge of both traditional herbal medicine and scientific research. Check out harnn.com.

Treasure Hunt

Join the khuluma Treasure Hunt and win! Find the Sinotec logo hidden in a story in this issue of khuluma and you could win a Sinotec 49” full-HD LED TV with two USB multimedia inputs and three HDMI ports. Check out sinoprima.co.za for info on this and other Sinotec products.

We’ve got a blitzing, blending, bodacious NutriBullet blender to give away! Wonderfully easy to use, and to clean, this super blender is the fastest-selling kitchen appliance in the world. With the NutriBullet, you can make super smoothies that pulverise all the most beneficial parts of your favourite fruits and vegetables, without making your digestive system work too hard to absorb all the goodness. Check out nutribullet.co.za.

We’ve got five In the Heart of the Sea hampers (keychain, long-sleeve T-shirt, waterproof match case, unisex T-shirt, metal mug, cap) and five Creed hampers (backpack, boxing gloves, T-shirt, hand wraps, hoodie, punching laundry bag, skipping rope) to give away! Check out our write-ups of both films on pages 103-104. (Ts&Cs apply. Prizes are not transferrable and subject to availability. We reserve the right to substitute any prize with another of equivalent value without giving notice.)

Focus your ears

One lucky khuluma reader can win a Focal Dimension Soundbar, a premium home-cinema solution for flat-screen TVs. Simply head to khulumaonline.co.za to answer the following questions: 1) How many HDMI connectors does the Soundbar have? 2) What is the AIRA speaker cone made of? 3) What kits are available in the Focal BMW car-audio range? Check out focal.com.

Worth your vote

We’ve got six copies of Jan Braai’s The Democratic Republic of Braai to give away! Jan Braai believes that it’s everyone’s right to gather around a fire with friends and family and eat flipping good food. To that end, he’s assembled a collection of mouthwatering recipes for everything from steak to salads, wraps and even breakfast-braai muesli.

DECEMBER 2015

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Bite the bullet

Movie merchandise

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International banking International banking and investments. and investments. International recognition. International recognition. For the third year running, we have been awarded Best Private For the third year running, wein have beenAfrica awarded BestFinancial Private Bank and Wealth Manager South by the Bank and Wealth Manager in South Africa by the Financial Times of London. This is testimony to our efforts to deliver Times of London. testimony our efforts deliver world-class service This and isvalue to ourtoclients, year to after year. world-class service and value to our clients, year after year. As recognised by: As recognised by:

Investec Specialist a division of Investec Bank Limited registration number 1969/004763/06.Investec InvestecSpecialist Specialist Bank is committed asas regulated by by thethe Ombudsman for Banking Services. Copies Investec Specialist Bank,Bank, a division of Investec Bank Limited registration number 1969/004763/06. committedto tothe theCode CodeofofBanking BankingPractice Practice regulated Ombudsman for Banking Services. Copies the Code andOmbudsmanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the Ombudsmanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s details available request visit www.investec.co.za.AAregistered registeredcredit credit provider provider registration & Investment, a division of Investec Securities Proprietary of theofCode and the details are are available on on request or or visit www.investec.co.za. registration number numberNCRCP9. NCRCP9.Investec InvestecWealth Wealth & Investment, a division of Investec Securities Proprietary Limited. 1972/008905/07. Member of JSE the JSE Equity, Equity Derivatives, Currency Derivatives,Bond BondDerivatives Derivatives and and Interest Interest Rate financial services provider No.15886. A registered credit provider Limited. 1972/008905/07. Member of the Equity, Equity Derivatives, Currency Derivatives, Rate Derivatives DerivativesMarkets. Markets.An Anauthorised authorised financial services provider No.15886. A registered credit provider registration number NCRCP262. 24/7/365 Global Client Support Centre 0800 1Place(75223) (75223)Cape CapeTown Town021 021 416 416 1000 1000 Durban Durban 031 286 7000 Elizabeth 041041 396396 6700 Pretoria 012 012 427 8300 registration number NCRCP262. 24/7/365 Global Client Support Centre 0800 1Place 031 575 5754000 4000 Johannesburg Johannesburg011 011 286 7000Port Port Elizabeth 6700 Pretoria 427 8300 Stellenbosch and Winelands 0700. Stellenbosch and Winelands 021 021 809 809 0700.

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Shimmering with energy in a setting of majestic ocean blue, precious minerals, nature green and streaming light. Perched over the breathtaking Bantry Bay coastline Da’Realty proudly presents ‘AURUM’. Meaning ‘Shining Dawn’ in Latin & ‘Au’ the symbol for Gold. An exclusive, dual-site, luxury lifestyle development.

Aurum Luxury Suites

Aurum Presidential Suites

Located on the mountain side of Victoria Road in the wind sheltered Bantry Bay suburb. Comprising of 15 two & three bedroom apartments, ranging in size from ±117m² to ±250m². Each suite stylishly designed with a modern, open plan, singlelevel floor layout.

Located on the sea side of Victoria Road, in Bantry Bay. Each of these 8 Exclusive Suites have been meticulously designed and crafted to be exceptional homes, optimising the qualities of space, light and warmth. Exquisite suites of two, three, four & five bedroom layouts of ±210m² to ±750m².

One luxury four bedroom Penthouse unit of ±530m² is situated at the top level on the new vertical extension of the build. Clean, stylish colour palette throughout, dramatic cascading waterfall Façade feature. Bang & Olufsen audio visual. Penthouse kitchen and design accents by ARMANI Dada.

These opulent units feature the highest quality imported finishes, luxuriously spacious bedroom & livingroom layouts, direct lift access to each suite and boasting sublime sunset experiences over the bay. Cascading waterfall Façade feature, Bang & Olufsen audio visual, Penthouse kitchen and design accents by ARMANI Dada.

www.darealty.com/AURUM For enquiries, contact Chrys Mammous +27 72 470 5252

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AURUM in Bantry Bay is an invitation to encounter a new lightness of living and refinement. Offering wide-angled views of the Atlantic Ocean from its splendid perch against the slopes of Cape Town’s Lion’s Head, it is a place of airy living, golden sunsets and the ‘Shining Dawns’, promised by its Latin name. A long-standing luxury destination of choice for affluent local and foreign property investors, Bantry Bay is one of the city’s most exclusive and prized locations – close proximity to the Cape Town city centre, V&A Waterfront, award winning Blue Flag beaches and a host of museums, art galleries and renowned gastronomic culinary establishments. Cape Town’s Atlantic Seaboard encapsulates that distinctive blend of rare natural beauty and refined style that is the hallmark of luxury living, the world over.

High net worth investors expect an environment that, in addition to scenic beauty, also provides exceptional leisure opportunities such as fine dining and superb cultural and sporting experiences. Cape Town offers these qualities in breath-taking abundance, hence the steady rise in repeat business in both the international and local travel market as well as the marked increase in property investment in this area by South Africans and foreign nationals alike. As a global property investment company, Da’Realty makes it its business to be astutely aware of locations around the globe that have the innate capacity to offer those rare investment desirables that define true LUXURY. Da’Realty, the investment subsidiary of Darvesh recently launched the ZAR750 million top end luxury residential property development ‘AURUM’ (from the Latin meaning ‘Shining Dawn’ and Gold). Darvesh, the 106-year-old privately owned company with an annual turnover in excess of US$1 billion and offices across Africa, Asia, the Middle East and Europe has been a pioneer in numerous business sectors including investment, industry, trading and technology has now set its sights on creating something vibrant, fresh and current, the redefining of luxury living in South Africa. Darvesh President, Mr. Ahsan Darvesh, who spearheads the African and European operations, emphasises that Da’Realty will offer a high calibre residential product that will allow investors to realise optimum returns on their investments. AURUM, and its progeny, will therefore be highly distinctive signature ‘art works’ where the design is led by the unique features of the location and completed with master craftsmanship of the highest quality. AURUM, a dual-site luxury lifestyle development consists of fifteen Aurum Luxury Suites on the mountain side of Victoria Road and eight expansive Aurum Presidential Suites on the ocean side, each magnificent suite occupying its own private floor of the building. Timeless yet contemporary spacious layouts in refined neutral colour palettes, have been introduced throughout the development. Both the Luxury and Presidential suites are detailed with exceptional designer kitchen and dressing room fittings by Italian fitters Molteni & C and Dada collections as well as Swiss sound masters Bang & Olufsen audio visual sound systems. The 3 Penthouse units boast exquisite designer kitchens from the exclusive ARMANI Dada collection, a first for South Africa. Another exclusive partnership with 750 year old heritage business from

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Murano, glass blowing artists Barovier & Toso are to feature their exquisite glass chandeliers in the two AURUM building reception areas. The pinnacle of luxury in sanitary ware fittings from Italian craftsmen GESSI, luxury state of the art kitchen appliances from Gaggenau and a minimum of two parking bays for each suite, a rare luxury on the Atlantic Seaboard. “Our guiding conviction is that product and service delivery is the absolute best orator. The intrinsic qualities and services associated with a luxury product is the most eloquent sales pitch one can make to a discerning customer. This is therefore our primary marketing mechanism and focus.” says Chrystalla Mammous, Da’Realty South Africa’s General Manager, Marketing & Sales. Though many believe that luxury residential developments such as these are only aimed at foreign investors trading in powerful rand hedge currencies, Da’Realty sees it differently: “We believe there is an equally strong appetite among South Africa’s own affluent and discerning consumers and the many local enquiries we continue to receive, have underpinned these instincts,” she says. Mammous is also quick to dispel the notion that international standards cannot be delivered, and indeed raised, within an African context, saying the company’s Cape Town developments will replicate the same calibre of top end products to comfortably compete on the world stage in line with those it has been delivering to Darvesh Elegant Industries’ high calibre list of distinguished clients - Chanel, Yves St Laurent, Tom Ford, Christian Dior, etc – for the past 14 years. We are drawing on our knowledge and experience of the exacting luxury hotel standards of New York, Dubai and London to combine timeless style with contemporary excitement. Starting with the AURUM where the dramatic double waterfall façade feature will set the tone on arrival and lead on to an unparalleled experience of elegance and refinement on every level, we are determined that Da’Realty will come to represent a new standard for luxury development in South Africa and that AURUM, and the creations to follow, will not only become jewels in the Da’Realty international property crown, but come to represent some of the Cape and South Africa’s most soughtafter addresses. Darvesh concludes: “WE ARE TRUE ARTISTS IN THE DEVELOPMENT GAME, OFFERING INVESTORS AN OPPORTUNITY TO QUINTESSENTIALLY, ‘LIVE LUXURY’. ”

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The noticeboard

The who, why, when and where of what’s going on around Mzansi. GRAPE NEWS Galago makes sandals with a difference. The soles are sold separately from the various different uppers. This means that via a unique co-creation process, Galago sandals can be customised to suit individual styles. The soles are made from quality leather and padded to provide extra comfort; you can thereafter chose from the range of interchangeable uppers which come in leather, fabrics and knits with optional beaded accessories. Pretty rad for summer. Check out galagoonline.co.za.

DREAMY DO Modern Hair and Beauty has been announced as the newly appointed South African distributor of Cloud Nine. With a range of hair irons, wands and styling aids, Cloud Nine offers a range of innovative products that are in line with the ever-evolving technological advancements of the hair industry. Visit cloudninehair.com.

FAST FOOD Daily Dietitian is a personalised meal-delivery-company that focuses on providing fresh, nutrient-dense meals. Customers can select their preferred meal package online and have these meals delivered on a daily basis to their doorstep. Not convinced? Try their quinoa and broccoli patties with lemon, mint and pea cauliflower couscous, shredded chicken, crunchy red cabbage, a sprinkling of goji berries, and a coconut and tumeric dressing. It’ll convince you. Check out dailydietitian.co.za.

YUMMY GIVEAWAY See page 18 for details

BITE THE BULLET When it comes to gifting, there simply isn’t a hotter, hipper, handier or healthier option than the NutriBullet. Wonderfully easy to use, and to clean, this super blender is the fastest-selling kitchen appliance in the world. Get this culinary crafter for R1 995, including free delivery when purchased via nutribullet.co.za or call 0861 777 997.

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Looking for something elegant and delish to sip on while you enjoy your summer picnic, but don’t wanna hit the booze? ZARI sparkling grape juice is made from the Muscat seedless cultivar, and is alcohol free, rich in nutrition and antioxidants, and contains no artificial colourants or added sugar. It also looks pretty posh, so you can be all fancy like when you serve it to your guests, you know. Email zari@africanequations.co.za or call 072 905 6727 for more info.

TOP TRAVEL Topdeck Travel provides unforgettable coach-style travel adventures across the globe for travellers aged 18-39, offering a range of exciting trips to Europe, Asia, Australia and New Zealand, Egypt and the Middle East, North America and Africa. Some roads aren’t meant to be travelled alone! Explore. Enjoy. Share the experience with Topdeck. Check out topdeck.travel.

pictures: supplied

SEVEN SANDALS IN ONE

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NOTICEBOARD | GUIDE

PRETTY IN PORK

NO HARNN DONE Renowned for its natural botanical and exotic ingredients sourced from Asia, HARNN’s natural body-, skinand hair-care ranges and home spa collections combine the knowledge of both traditional herbal medicine and scientific research, resulting in products that epitomise the Asian holistic approach HAIR GIVEAWAY to wellbeing. Check out See page 18 harnn.com. for details

Monstera Deliciosa, Volume I is the first solo show by Cape Town designer Porky Hefer. This underwater fantasyscape welcomes visitors on an adventurous journey of discovery, where leather- and cane-enrobed pieces become the next explorations of the human-scale nest environments with which Porky has become synonymous. Meet Crycodylus Eugenie, M.heloise, Pelicanus Iris, behd and Joyce – they could become your new best friends. Visit southernguild.co.za.

CHECK IT UIT Uitkyk Wine Estate is beautiful. Picnics are beautiful. Sip on the estate’s newly released wines while enjoying a picnic basket of your choice, including items such as French baguettes, Simonsberg cheese, smoked salmon trout roses, roast vegetable and feta tarts and decadent chocolate brownies. The basket, which serves two, costs R450 and includes a bottle of either the Uitkyk Sauvignon Blanc, Chenin Blanc, Chardonnay, Shiraz or Pinotage. Children picnic packs are available on request for R55. Go to uitkyk.co.za.

HOTEL FOR DOGS (FOR REAL)

GET YOUR FRIGID FIX Swart is a cold-crafted coffee, made of 100% organic, fair-trade singleorigin coffee beans and pure natural spring water. Once the brew has reached its optimal steep, nitrous is added, and the contents are kegged and bottled, resulting in a flavoursome, crisp and smooth finish. It’s a refreshing new way to get your fix. Check out swartcoffee.com.

Cape Town’s very first dog hotel, the atFrits Dog Hotel & Daycare Centre, officially opened on the 1st of this month – just in time for the holidays. Now dog owners can relax and enjoy their holiday knowing their pooches are very well looked after. They also offer day and night care, a spa and salon, and on-site veterinary services. It’s a dog’s life, isn’t it? Check out atfritsdoghotel.com.

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GUIDE | WESTERN CAPE

What’s on Western Cape Exhibition Titanic: the Artefact Exhibition is on at the Watershed, V&A Waterfront, focusing on the stories behind the historic event through artefacts found at the wreck site and recreated rooms of the Titanic. Each visitor will receive a replica of the original boarding pass, and follow a journey from the construction of the ship to the tragedy of the sinking. Visit titanicexpo.co.za. Please note: ‘I cannot conceive of any vital disaster happening to this vessel. Modern ship building has gone beyond that.’ – Captain Smith, commander of the Titanic

SINGIN’ THE BLUES 5 December

Blues festival On at the Hillcrest Quarry in Durbanville, this year’s Table Mountain Blues Summit will feature 12 of the country’s top blues bands, from the Albert Frost Trio to the Black Cat Bones and Boulevard Blues Band. Although the event has previously sneaked rock and folk musicians into its line-up, organisers Mike Combrink and Mike Crawford have now decided, in honour of its 10th birthday, to return the festival to it’s genuine blues roots. Tickets available at Computicket. Visit bluessummit.co.za. Please note: The blues ain’t nothing but a good man feeling bad.

DETECTIVE’S IN TOWN Until 24 December

Musical theatre The story of Botswana’s much-loved No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency, introduced to the world in a series of novels by Alexander McCall Smith, will be staged at the Belmond Mount Nelson Hotel until mid-December. Weaving together issues of morality, humour and love, Mma Ramotswe solves numerous perplexing mysteries with the help of her secretary Mma Makutsi and mechanic boyfriend JLB Matekoni. Visit webtickets.co.za. Please note: You know you are truly alive, when you’re living among lions.

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FROM THE GOOD EARTH 5 December

Open garden day Visit pioneering NPO Soil for Life’s organic garden in Constantia this World Soil Day, to skill up on growing organic food, buy gifts for those with green fingers or stock up on compost and fresh veggies. From 9am to 4pm at the Soil for Life premises on Brounger Road, off Spaanschemat River Road, you’ll be empowered with the ‘tools’ to reap a rich harvest. For more, visit soilforlife.co.za or call Sarah on 021 794 4982. Please note: God made rainy days so gardeners could get the housework done.

MAKING WAVES 6 December

Outdoor screening Not much is free of charge over the festive season, but one such ‘gratis’ event is the Wavescape Film Festival’s open-air movie screening on Clifton Fourth Beach. Six mini movies will be shown, all devoted to big-wave hunters, epic surf legends and other luminaries who revere the ocean. This event acts as a reminder of how dependent humans are on the ocean, and how important it is that we protect it. Visit wavescapefestival.co.za. Please note: Ocean, n. A body of water occupying about twothirds of a world supposedly made for man – who has no gills.

DRAMATIC PERSUASIONS 11-16 December

Children’s theatre At the Galloway Theatre this holidays, Tangible Productions brings you Pop-up Tales – a unique and fresh take on storytelling, where the audience gets to decide the who, what and where of their own fun-filled adventure. The action could involve pirates, dinosaurs, royalty or aliens, as actors take on board the little people’s suggestions. There are shows at 11.30am and 2pm. Visit waterfronttheatreschool.co.za/booknow. Please note: Theatre was simply created to tell people the truth about life.

text: vanessa rogers; pictures: supplied

TITANIC DOCKS IN CAPE Throughout December

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WESTERN CAPE | GUIDE

What’s on Western Cape GET WET 11 December – 10 January

Musical Singin’ in the Rain comes to the Artscape Opera House, packed full of the charm, romance, comedy and Tinsel Town glamour of one of the world’s best-loved movies. It focuses on romantic lead Don Lockwood, his sidekick Cosmo Brown, aspiring actress Kathy Selden, and Lockwood’s leading lady Lina Lamont. Expect incredible choreography, buoyant songs, plus fantastic costumes, triple-threat performers and 12 000 litres of (recycled) water! Tickets are R150-R500, from Computicket. Please note: Check out our behind-the-scenes story on page 220.

FOR THAT SWEET TOOTH 19 December

LGBTQI event The Mother City Queer Project is in its 22nd year, and scheduled for Harrington Street this time around. The theme has been announced as Candyland – think candy stripes, pudding puffs and sticky decadence galore. Approximately 9 000 guests are expected to take lipsmacking advantage of numerous street music venues, while limited Quality Street and Royal Sweet tickets secure extra perks for the flush. Visit mcqp.co.za or quicket.co.za. Please note: The optimist sees the doughnut, the pessimist sees the hole, and the realist sees the kilojoules.

text: vanessa rogers; pictures: supplied

DANCE THE SHIMMY 31 December

NYE party Since it opened, Shimmy Beach Club has taken its place as a premier lifestyle destination for wining, dining, chilling and partying. If you haven’t settled on a venue for end-of-year celebrations yet, look into one of four Shimmy New Year’s Eve packages – from a vanilla ‘general access’ pass to a premier entry that includes all the bells and whistles. Visit shimmybeachclub.co.za or email tickets@shimmybeachclub.co.za. Please note: Shaking the soul lets the glory out!

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ON THE RUN 17 December

Road running A last popular race before the big Christmas feast is the Growthpoint Sundowner 10km, which starts at the V&A Waterfront behind the Table Bay Hotel. It really is for everyone – dogs are allowed, as are runners pushing prams, walkers and wheelchair athletes. The route is fast and flat, so you’ll have plenty of voomah left afterwards for a lively beverage at Ferrymans. Visit topevents.co.za for pre-entries or enter on the day. Please note: What do runners do when they forget something? They jog their memory.

HELLO PARTY PEOPLE! 31 December

NYE party Party the night away Ibiza-style at the Pacha Ibiza bash at Grand Café and Beach. Without dipping into those Voyager Miles, you can experience the glamour and hedonism of Ibiza at this local club set on a private beach with dance floors, beach bars and unrivalled views of the Atlantic. For limited tickets at R750, visit afterhours.nuticket.co.za/pachaNYE2015. For dinner and VIP bookings, email beach@grandafrica.co.za or call 021 425 0551. Please note: A New Year’s Resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

THE VINE-AL COUNTDOWN 30-31 December

NYE party The Electric Vines New Year’s Eve festival is on, with an incredible new venue alongside the Bot River, insane sound and stage production, three music stages, and a slew of the finest performers South Africa has to offer – including Goldfish, Shortstraw, The Kiffness and PHFat. For those who like partying more than camping, they’ve got two glamping options available. Visit electricvines.co.za. Please note: Applying electricity to the estate’s vines will probably get you evicted from the venue.

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GUIDE | WESTERN CAPE

RECIPE BANANA-SMOKED KABELJOU 2 x 400g fresh kabeljou with skin on 10ml aromatic Indian curry spice 15ml coriander seeds, coarsely ground 30ml lemon juice 20ml fresh ginger, finely chopped 10ml fresh thyme, finely chopped 2 bananas, sliced 15ml olive oil 10ml brown sugar Salt and pepper to taste

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THE ALLERGEN BAKER

CAFÉ ROYALE

LA PENTOLA RESTAURANT

Even those with allergies can have a stress-free treat during the holidaze. Diana Swales makes delicious breads, biscuits, pastries and wraps for those who are unable to eat wheat, gluten, lactose, nuts or eggs. The range is kept at most good health stores across the Cape. The carob, gluten-free biscuit range is suitable for use by diabetics. There is also a vegan range for those without allergies but with consciences. 5 Wood Road, Ferness Estate, Ottery, 082 293 3168.

Café Royale – found on the ground floor of the Cape Royale Luxury Hotel – serves francophone treats for breakfast, lunch, coffee and drinks to hungry holidaymakers and locals alike. A breakfast of crêpes topped with black-cherry sauce and accompanied by a bottle of Tattinger Brut Reserve Champagne would be just the thing to cure a holidaze daze. And if it’s nutrition you’re after, the café serves delicious freshly squeezed fruit juices too. 47 Main Road, Green Point, Cape Town, 021 430 0500, caperoyale.co.za.

Chef Shane Sauvage’s neo-psychedelic personality restaurant in Pretoria has been joined by a calmer Cape incarnation. Not that calm though – his second restaurant still serves up a deliciously daft cook’s world tour, from Aztec mushrooms to French frog legs, Cajun steak, springbok carpaccio and Thai curries. The chef has kindly shared a recipe from his new book Cape Fusion (see above). La Pentola, Shop 4, Ocean View, 87 Marine Drive, Hermanus, 028 313 1685, lapentola.co.za.

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text: anna trapido; pictures: supplied

Eat Western Cape

• Rub the fish with lemon juice and spices flesh side up. Top with ginger and half of the thyme. • Cover the fish and set it aside to marinate in the fridge for two hours. • Make a fire in a Weber braai. • Slice the bananas. • Drizzle the fish with olive oil. • Place the banana slices on the fish and sprinkle the remaining thyme over it. Season and sprinkle the brown sugar onto the fish. • Scrape the coals to one side of the Weber and place the fish on the grill on the opposite side to the coals. • Cover and smoke for 40 minutes. The sugar will caramelise in this time.

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WESTERN CAPE | GUIDE

RECIPE STICKY TOFFEE PUDDING For the pudding: 100g butter 1kg sugar 4 eggs 500g flour 15ml baking powder 425g dates, pitted 750ml boiled water 60ml instant coffee powder 5ml vanilla essence 20ml vinegar 60ml bicarbonate of sode Vanilla ice cream to serve

text: anna trapido; pictures: supplied

• Cream the butter and sugar together until light and fluffy. • Add eggs, one at a time. • Sift flour and baking powder. Sift again into the egg mixture. • Place dates into 600ml of boiled water. • Add the coffee, vanilla and vinegar. • Stir in the bicarb, at this stage the mixture should froth up violently. • Place the date mixture into the blender and pulse into a rough purée. • Add the rest of the water. • Fold the date mixture into the flour mixture. • Pour into a buttered deep baking tray and bake at 180oC for 30 minutes. • Lower the heat to 150oC for a further 30 minutes. • Rest for about 10 minutes. • Cut into squares and pour half of the sauce (recipe below) over the pudding and leave it to soak. For the sauce: 170g butter 45ml golden syrup 400ml evaporated milk 500g soft brown sugar • Place all ingredients in a saucepan. • Simmer until all the sugar is dissolved, then reduce for about 15 minutes to a syrupy consistency.

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Eat Western Cape BALDUCCI’S

CAPE POINT BAKERY

If you’re foolhardy enough to brave the madness of the V&A Waterfront over December, you deserve to reward yourself with a visit to Balducci’s. Grab a window seat and get comfy for browsing their exhaustive menu, which includes Asian noodles and tapas, sushi, burgers, pizzas, Banting options, pasta, seafood (try the kingklip pescato), steaks and some pretty tongue-meltingly tasty desserts, like this sticky toffee pudding, for which the chef has very kindly supplied the recipe. Shop 6162, V&A Waterfront, 021 421 6002, balduccis.co.za.

Banting all year? Too much protein and not enough carbs will make Jack not only a dull boy, but an angry and exhausted one too. Cape Point Bakery has a culinary cure for all your low-carb madness. Baker Hein van de Geyn makes an exquisite oatmeal bread, perfect with lashings of butter and strawberry jam. His rye bread (which even the low-carb mafia would almost approve of) makes superb sandwiches. Hot, yeasty, carbohydrate-laden cuisine is the best cure for festive-season fatigue. 32 Beach Road, Scarborough, 021 780 1339, capepointbakery.co.za.

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GUIDE | WESTERN CAPE

R149 Spree

R799 Simon and Mary R349 Superbalist

R320 Spree R299 Superbalist R399 Spree

R349 H&M

Glitzz and glam Anja van der Spuy works in the digital industry by day and runs her blog, Glitz and Grammar, by night.

R139.99 Mr Price R1 099 H&M

compiled by: johan labuschagne; pictures: supplied

R79 H&M

R570 Spree

ANJA’S FASHION TIP FOR WOMEN

If you buy the right handbag, you can get away with rocking it to the mall or the beach. I’d suggest a tote bag – it’s just the right size!

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R79 H&M

R599 H&M

N PAGE

CONT. O

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WESTERN CAPE | GUIDE

R129 H&M

R149 H&M R375 Old Khaki

R399 Spree R399 Spree R399 Guess

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R230 Markham

R79 H&M

Top trends for men

Anja says there’s nothing sexier than a man who is well groomed. So guys, make sure you’re neat and clean before heading out the house. R307 2bop

R1 799 Ray-Ban

R139.99 Mr Price

R1 640 Spree R299 H&M

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WESTERN CAPE | GUIDE

Lean green sleeping machine

he wind had picked up a little. I slid further down my deckchair, following the sun’s passage, and took a long, slow sip of my drink. The nearby reed bed rustled in the growing afternoon breeze. I stretched and walked over the wooden decking to dive into the eco-pool – surrounded by lilies and daisies and reeds. As I emerged, I heard the mighty roar of a jet engine straining to carry several hundred lives into the sky. That’s because the eco-pool by which I was chilling belongs to Hotel Verde, which is situated just 400m from Cape Town International Airport. It’s not quite what you might expect from an airport hotel, however. For a start, it lays claim to being Africa’s first carbon-neutral hotel. Last year it also became one of only six hotels in the world to be certified platinum for New Construction by Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design – the most internationally recognised rating tool for green buildings from the United States Green Building Council.

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The hotel achieves this through the use of, among other things, 220 photovoltaic panels on the roof generating 81 800kWh a year, three vertical-axis wind turbines that generate up to 3kWh, regenerativedrive elevators, power-generating gym equipment (giving you even more reason to do some spinning), double-glazed windows, 40 000 litres of rainwatercapture tanks, and a grey-water-recycling system that saves up to 6 000 litres of water per day. Hotel Verde also encourages guests to earn Verdinos – the in-house currency – by reusing bathroom towels, using the indoor or outdoor gym and jogging track (which runs around the reed bed adjacent to the pool), not using traditional air-con, and completing a treasure map for kids. Every week they host Earth Hour Wednesdays from 7pm, with live jazz by candlelight and solar-powered jars, with an electricity-free buffet and à la carte menu on offer, and all non-essential lights and appliances in the hotel switched off for the evening.

But there’s more to the hotel than green measures. Our standard room had a comfortable king-sized bed, tea and coffee, decent TV, and it was spacious. The staff were all pleasant, and about five different waiters came to check on us during our dinner. Speaking of dinner, the menu is varied, reasonably priced and the food was pretty delicious. The smokedduck spring roll and prawn salad got us warmed up for the medallion trio of local game and seafood risotto, while we retired upstairs to nibble on crème brûlée. Breakfast saw the usual buffet options, with the addition of a smoothie bar, serving up energy-boosting drinks absent of the mounds of sugar often served in such things. The wind had dropped by the morning, and we sat outside, drinking in the warmth before strolling around the jogging track. Who knew being green could be so pleasant? 15 Michigan Street, Airport Industria, Cape Town, 021 380 5500, hotelverde.co.za.

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Anthony Sharpe goes green at Hotel Verde.

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WESTERN CAPE | GUIDE

Welcome home Lynn Berggren-Goodwin finds independence and luxury at Home From Home Versailles.

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tepping into one of Home From Home’s Versailles luxury five-star apartments gives you a sense of coming home. That’s if your home is kitted with original Italian marble floors and splendidly dramatic chandeliers hanging in every visible corner. Nonetheless, it’s nice to pretend sometimes. Home From Home prides itself in providing … well, just what the name says. If you travel a lot, especially for business, hotels can become tiring. Rushing to make it to breakfast in time every morning, scrambling your brains and words to conclude that very important business meeting so that you don’t miss the buffet back at the dining hall, and the constant ‘checking up’ that the staff is required to do can often become a bit redundant. Luckily, for control freaks like me, Home From Home Versailles offers complete independence and control that can often feel missing during

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an extended hotel stay. With a fully kitted kitchen in every lavishly adorned apartment, you’re able to cook up your pasta exactly the way you like it, and your steak can be done to perfection, providing you’re actually a good cook. The bonus: you don’t have to do the dishes – unlike at home. But if you do get a bit lazy or you’re too exhausted after doing all those business-like things, you can take a gentle two-minute stroll to Richard’s Bistro down the road, where live music and delicious meals are the order of every day. Walk a little bit further and you’ll be spoilt for choice in terms of restaurants and bars. There’s a range of accommodation available at the Three Anchor Bay residence. The studio apartment is an open-plan room offering just enough space (perfect if you’re staying alone), where you can watch the sunrise over the city’s buildings from the comfort of your massive king-size bed. Or you can

opt for one of the two-bedroom options: luxury or superior, both offering ample space and comfort for a family of four to stay in. The bigger apartments also have a larger balcony, perfect for sundowners. For holiday-makers with kids, there’s ample entertainment. Green Point Park is just around the corner, where your little minions can run around and tire themselves out. Or head to the beach just down the road to frolic in the sand and surf. And after a long day of shopping, eating, playing and holidaying, you can settle into the Versailles’ 12-seater cinema to watch your favourite flick. For those who find it hard to switch off, there’s a fully equipped gym on the property (check out the rooftop swimming pool, too). And you’re just a few minutes’ walk away from the freeto-use Green Point open-air gym. 219 Main Road, Sea Point, Cape Town, 021 418 2821, homefromhome.co.za.

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GUIDE | GAUTENG

What’s on Gauteng Market The Fourways Farmers Market, corner of William Nicol Drive and Monte Casino Boulevard, now has longer shopping hours (9am-4pm), so you’ll have more than enough time to get lastminute Christmas gifts. Expect more than 100 vendors selling organically grown produce, locally made cheeses, cured meats, baked goods, jams, jewellery and crafts. Visit ffmarket.co.za. Please note: To market, to market, to buy a fat pig. Home again, home again, jiggity jig.

BRUSH STROKES 3 December

Art showcase More than simply a transplant of the highly successful Cape Town art experience of the same name, First Thursdays Johannesburg will allow visitors to browse galleries and other attractions on foot, from 5-9pm (and later), in a new cultural node. Highlights include the Goodman Gallery, David Krut Bookstore, Gallery MOMO and The Orbit – Home of Jazz. To stay on track as you wander, print maps will be available at most listed venues. Please note: What does a painter sing when he’s in Dire Straits? Monet for Nothing.

ON THIN ICE 3 December – 10 January

Ice-skating theatre Be spellbound by Swan Lake on Ice at the Teatro at Montecasino. Twenty-four Olympic-, world-, European- and nationalchampionship-level skaters tell Tchaikovsky’s timeless tale through leaps, throws and graceful ice dancing. The award-winning Imperial Ice Stars troupe has enthralled audiences across five continents and now it’s SA’s turn to join their numbers. Visit montecasino.co.za. Tickets available at Computicket. Please note: Don’t make fun of fast, athletic people with sharpened blades for feet.

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HERE’S TO YOU, MRS ROBINSON 2-6 December

Musical tribute All the way from London, The Simon and Garfunkel Story will be staged at the Theatre of Marcellus at Emperors Palace. Think original film footage and huge projection photos, while a live band performs much-loved hits such as ‘Cecilia’ and ‘Homeward Bound’. For the flush, look into securing a dinner, show and stay package. Visit emperorspalace.com or call 011 928 1000. Please note: Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel will not be appearing ‘live’ at this event!

TOE-TAPPING TRIBUTE 3-4 December

Dance extravaganza Greg Maqoma and Friends will take to the stage of The Lyric at Gold Reef City. Greg will be joined by the Vuyani Dance Theatre Company, which he founded, vocal group Complete Quartet, and leading fashion designer David Tlale. Born in Soweto, Maqoma was fascinated by the moves of migrant labourers. He realised dance was an expression of their circumstances and set out on a career that would lift many out of disadvantaged backgrounds through the arts. Visit goldreefcity.co.za. Please note: : Dancing is poetry with arms and legs.

DOGGONE DETECTIVE 4-6 December

Children’s theatre The Big Top Arena at Carnival City will host Scooby-Doo Live! Musical Mysteries this month. In this delightful animated production, Scooby-Doo and the Mystery Inc. Gang of Shaggy, Fred, Daphne and Velma have to solve an epic mystery involving a trouble-making ghost who’s been haunting a local theatre. Uproarious antics will keep the little ones occupied for an hour or two. Tickets available at Computicket. Please note: A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.

text: vanessa rogers; pictures: supplied

FORGET THE MALL Every Sunday

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What’s on Gauteng TRI TO SUCCEED 6 December

SONORITY ON THE SQUARE 4 and 11 December

Classical concerts It’s good to see that something from the good old days – like classical music – is alive and well at Theatre on the Square in Sandton. In December, catch Compassion, featuring the Tony Bentel Ensemble on the flute, cello and piano (4 December) or the Final Festive Concert with violinist Miro Chakaryan and accompanist Jacob Swart (11 December). Visit theatreonthesquare.co.za. Please note: If music be the food of love, play on…

YOU BET JA! 12 December

R&B extravaganza Choose the day experience, the evening concert or retain your ticket stub for both! Presented by DStv’s BET channel, the BET Experience Africa is guaranteed to launch you into a holiday mood. This nonstop 12-hour lifestyle event will feature R&B superstars Tamar Braxton, Maxwell and Raphael Saadiq, plus a comedy stage and celeb basketball match. Visit ticketpro.co.za. Please note: It’s really an amazing feat to embrace the pain of something that may have hurt you, and be able to express it through music.

text: vanessa rogers; pictures: supplied

INSIDE THE BIG TOP Until 31 December

Circus entertainment An invigorating sensory experience, showcased within the world’s largest mirrored palace, Madame Zingara: The Celebration will take place at Montecasino. Performers hail from 11 countries, including aerial-pole artists from Spain, diabolo girls from China, a Ukrainian contortion trio and MC Cathy Specific. Extra touches include welcome drinks and canapés, and face painting. Email boxoffice@madamezingara.com or call 0861 623 263. Please note: The circus arrives without warning… It is simply there when yesterday it was not.

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Multisport event Not for the faint-hearted, the Rockman X-Triathlon & Duathlon will be staged at Hero Adventure Park in Muldersdrift, from 7am. Select between an ultra or dash triathlon or duathlon, and stand in line to win a Merida MTB worth R20 000. Kids can take part in the Rock-Kids Duathlon and Adventure Race or play games in a supervised area. Visit rockmanxtri.co.za or spectrumsport.co.za. Please note: Training is like fighting with a gorilla. You don’t stop when you’re tired. You stop when the gorilla is tired.

CAVEMAN ART Until 24 December

Live comedy If you’ve never been to Defending the Caveman before, what rock have you been lurking beneath? Perhaps the most successful and longest-running solo comedy in South African theatre history, Tim Plewman tackles gender-based behavioural challenges in such an insightful way that the audience will head home under no illusions as to why men and women see life so differently. Tickets available at Computicket. Please note: What did the caveman order at the cafeteria? A club sandwich.

NATURE BOUND Until 31 December

Game drive At Dinokeng Game Reserve, you can spot kudu, giraffe, waterbuck, blue wildebeest and more! For only R1 150, you can spend a day in the reserve, which is located just 30 minutes north of Pretoria on the N1 Highway or an hour from OR Tambo. Added extras include a visit to Mandela Village township and a traditional meal at the Khuwana Tavern. Tickets available at Computicket or call 079 907 8901. Please note: Cross the river in a crowd and the crocodile won’t eat you.

DECEMBER 2015

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GUIDE | GAUTENG

RECIPE NIGERIAN JOLLOF RICE

Eat Gauteng COMPANY SOCIAL BRASSERIE Dark, strong coffee and buttery, sugarladen pastries help with the exhausting daze that is the holidays. If caffeine and sugar don’t do the trick, there are classic cocktails to doze off with. Healthy types stop off on their way back from the gym for a bowl of yoghurt with thyme-infused apple compote. Menlyn Piazza, corner Lois and Glen Manor avenues, Menlyn, Pretoria, 012 348 1241, company.net.za.

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SAVANNA RESTAURANT It’s not fair. Everyone else is lucky enough to go on an exotic holiday and here you are stuck in boring old Gauteng for the December break. Never fear, Savanna Restaurant in Pretoria is here to give you the sensation of a crosscontinental African adventure. If you can’t even get to Pretoria (which is a shame, really), here’s a taste of chef Felix Okua’s culinary magic. 725 Arcadia Street, Unipark, Pretoria, 073 474 9335.

• Partially precook the rice and set aside. • Blend the fresh tomatoes and peppers together and boil into a thick sauce. • In a second pot, add the oil and onion, fry until golden, and then add the curry and thyme. Cook through, then add the blended tomatoes and pepper mix. Cook for 10 minutes and then add the tomato purée. • Cook the sauce until the tomato paste loses its sour taste and the oil begins to rise to the top. Now scoop out about a quarter of the sauce and set it aside for later use. Add the stock to the remaining sauce and the chillies, and boil on high heat for 5-10 minutes. • Add the rice to the boiling mixture – the liquid in the pot should be at the same level as the rice in the pot. Add water if the stock isn’t enough. Cover the pot and leave the rice to cook on low to medium heat. • Serve topped with the remaining sauce that you set aside earlier.

text: anna trapido; pictures: supplied

2 cups precooked long-grain rice 4 whole tomatoes 1 red bell pepper 6 Tbps vegetable oil 1 onion, sliced 1/2 tsp thyme, finely chopped 1/2 tsp curry powder 5 Tbps tomato paste 2 1/2 cups chicken stock 2 Scotch bonnets chilli peppers 2 bay leaves Salt to taste

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GAUTENG | GUIDE

RECIPE HERB BISCOTTI

text: anna trapido; pictures: supplied

Eat Gauteng BEAR HUG PROJECT

FIVE HUNDRED

One of the most dazing things about the holidaze is finding the perfect festive gift for that foodie friend who has everything. The good news is that the Bear Hug Project has an (almost) edible treat/ stocking filler for said foodie friend. This nonprofit charity produces deliciouslooking food facsimiles in wool. Fancy a bacon and eggs knitted key ring or a doughnut crocheted with care? Bear Hug is your one-stop knitted-food shop. Find them on Facebook under Bear Hug Project, 083 277 8655.

Iconic chef David Higgs is sadly leaving the über-bling Five Hundred at the Saxon at the end of this month. His new venture (a stunning bistro in Rosebank) opens in March 2016, so at least we’re not losing him to another country. His replacement at the Saxon, Candice Philip, is a wonderful chef of whom great things are expected. She kindly offered us this delicious biscotti recipe as a taste of things to come. Saxon Hotel, 36 Saxon Road, Sandhurst, 011 292 6000, saxon.co.za.

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2 cups flour 2 tsps baking powder 1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese 4 tsps finely chopped sage 1/2 clove garlic finely minced 3 large eggs 1/2 cup sugar 1/3 cup olive oil • Combine the flour, baking powder, cheese, sage and garlic. • In a second bowl, combine the eggs, sugar and olive oil. • Add the egg mixture to the dry ingredients and combine to form a dough. • Place your dough onto a greased tray in a French-loaf shape and bake at 170oC for 20-25 minutes. • Remove from oven and let it partially cool on a wire rack, then cut into slices about 1cm thick. • Arrange slices on the wire rack, return them to the oven and bake for a further 10-15 minutes on each side until golden and firm.

DECEMBER 2015

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GUIDE | GAUTENG

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DECEMBER 2015

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DECEMBER 2015

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GUIDE | GAUTENG

A little sparkle

f your idea of hotel heaven is a memory-foam mattress, attentive 24-hour service and a restaurant that offers a different five-course menu with wine pairing every night, then you’re really going to like the Clico Boutique Hotel. With just nine rooms – one of which offers a self-catering option – Clico is a cozy but stylish stopover for visitors to Jo’burg. Set in the leafiest part of Rosebank, it’s less than a kilometre from the Gautrain station for connections to Sandton, Pretoria and OR Tambo International Airport, and just a short walk from Rosebank Mall. The rooms all have extra-length mattresses, fully stocked minibars (with fresh milk for the in-room tea and coffee station) and selected DStv channels. Complementing the underfloor heating is a novel bathroom light that doubles as a heater – hardly necessary in a December heat wave, but surely welcome in the depths of the Jo’burg winter.

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Wi-Fi is fast, unlimited, accessible throughout the hotel and free – a bonus for business visitors. There’s ample conference and event space, too. The high-tech boardroom can accommodate around 25 people, with breakaway areas on the deck next to the pool. The glass- and steel-bedecked restaurant also doubles as a stylish meeting space during the day, but it really comes into its own at night when chef Izanne Nawn applies her dazzling skills to the five-course menu. The dishes change every single night and can be ordered individually for the less hungry, but opt for the full experience, including a wine pairing, and you won’t be disappointed. The hotel has an ‘open-kitchen’ policy, with guests encouraged to engage with the team on their dietary requirements and likes. One regular guest has the same smoothie for breakfast every morning and exactly the same dinner

in the evening, and the kitchen staff are happy to oblige. With service like this, it’s little wonder the Clico Restaurant is a regular feature on Eat Out’s Top 20 list. There’s also separate parking for restaurant visitors, so hotel guests won’t find themselves banished to the streets when the restaurant is heaving. If big meals aren’t your thing, the lounge offers a space to relax and enjoy a snack. The honesty bar is there if you’d like a drink at any hour, but you’d be hard-pressed to pour it yourself, with the ever-attentive staff seemingly always on hand to cater to guests’ needs. Rooms at Clico Boutique Hotel start at R1 490 per night, so even if you’re a Jo’burg local, why not make a night of it with an excellent meal at the restaurant and a relaxing stay over before facing the real world again the next day? 27 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank, Jo’burg, 011 252 3300, clico-boutique-hotel.co.za.

pictures: supplied

A hotel playfully named after the owner’s favourite bubbly delivers champagne service, as Trevor Crighton discovers.

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GAUTENG | GUIDE

Jewel of the Vaal Sheldon Ramsey plays his cards right at the Emerald Resort & Casino.

pictures: supplied

have never really been a gambling man, at least when it comes to money. Life in Jo’burg seems like enough of a daily gamble, with power cuts, taxi drivers, industrious wealth redistribution and other such malarkey to contend with. So it’s difficult to say what possessed me to head out to the Emerald Resort & Casino in Vanderbijlpark. Would I be horrified by rows of glassy-eyed robots shovelling coins into slot machines? Or would I be seduced by the lure of the blackjack table into mortgaging the house, the wife, the dog and my neighbour’s BMW? The answer, as it turned out, was neither. I arrived and checked in to my room at the four-star Emerald Hotel, which was spacious and pleasant, with all the usual mod cons such as air-con, tea and coffee, speedy Wi-Fi and a flat-screen TV. There’s also the option of the more rustic but also four-star Bush Lodges – one- or two-bedroom units styled to resemble Serengeti safari lodges, and where I found a Jacuzzi in

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a boma just begging for inappropriate antics, and the three-star River Lodges, which offer budget- and family-friendly accommodation in two-, four- and sixsleeper units. Billed as ‘the Vaal’s premier leisure and business destination’, there’s actually quite a bit going on at the Emerald other than, you know, casino stuff – and most of it is pretty family oriented. There’s wall climbing, game drives at the Animal World Zoo, fishing in the Vaal River – which is walking distance from the selfcatering chalets, the Pins Bowling Alley, adventure golf, the Emerald African Spa, and the KidZone, PartyZone and iZone for the little ones. Then there’s the Aquadome, an indoor water park offering a number of pools for those looking to relax, as well as activities for kids, including a waterslide, lazy river and a shipwreck. Apparently, I no longer qualify as a kid, despite what my mother might say, and so I sulked in a pool instead. I didn’t get a chance to

try out bubble soccer, but rolling around encased in a zorb ball, knocking your opponents out of the way and trying to score goals sounds like terrific, if nausea-inducing, fun. You’ll want to keep the nausea at bay, however, to fully appreciate the bevvy of eating options available. There are four restaurants on the property, as well as two bars and a few fast-food places to boot. In the interests of research, I did a tour of them all, enjoying live music at Breeze Restaurant on Saturday evening, gorging myself to ruin at Ubuntu Buffet Restaurant, hitting up the Sunday carvery at the Emerald Hotel Restaurant, and pretending I was a high roller at the High Stakes Restaurant. In fact, just about the only thing I gambled with during my stay was my waistline. And I think I’m ready for another roll of that die. 777 Frikkie Meyer Boulevard, Vanderbijlpark, 016 982 8000, emeraldcasino.co.za.

DECEMBER 2015

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GUIDE | KWAZULU-NATAL

What’s on KZN Exhibition Open daily from 9am until 7pm, the Dinos Alive – The Exhibition presents an educational tour for kids and adults alike. Spot your favourites – from the tyrannosaurus rex and triceratops to the sky-high brachiosaurus – all realistically modelled with lifelike skin and texturing. Visit webtickets.co.za. Please note: What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

ALL THE WORLD’S A STAGE 9-20 December

Comedy theatre A number of different Playhouse Company musical, theatre and comedy productions are scheduled for the holidays, but comedy lovers won’t want to bypass Lisa Bobbert, Liesl Coppin and Marion Loudon in Glitter Girls at the Loft Theatre. These multi-awardwinning performers could well be Durban’s most versatile artists, and together they keep audiences in hysterics. Visit playhousecompany.com or call 031 369 9596/9540. Please note: ‘The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.’ – Horatio Walpole

LIFE’S A BEACH 19 December

Beach party Durbanites can dance the night away with sand beneath their feet at the Aquafest 2015 beach party on New Beach. Entertainment goes on for 12 hours straight and the line-up includes 5FM DJs Roger Goode, Mark Stent and Ryan the DJ, as well as chart-topping house group Mi Casa. There’ll be a VIP area with bar, lounge and more. Visit aquafest.co.za. Tickets available at Computicket. Please note: The sand may brush off, the salt may wash clean, the tans may fade, but the memories will last forever.

DECEMBER 2015

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BET YOUR BOOTS 4 December – 10 January

Pantomime Kickstart’s 10th family pantomime, Puss in Boots, is coming to the Elizabeth Sneddon Theatre at the University of Natal this festive season. This adventure is set on a tropical island and features the famous feline footwear, along with an imaginative new cast. Expect plenty of laughs, impressive costumes and sets, and catchy tunes. Tickets available at Computicket. For more info, call 031 260 2296. Please note: Jill: Is it true a cat always land on its feet? Puss in Boots: No, that’s just a rumour spread by dogs.

O HOLY NIGHT 11 December

Carols concert The Old Mutual Music at the Lake Concert Series was established a decade ago and continues to provide a valuable source of income for the many initiatives of the Durban Botanic Gardens Trust. One such initiative, the Garden Window Project, assists with the purchase of land from the nearby soccer club. Take in the gardens by candlelight to the singing of carols, or browse the Christmas night market. Visit webticket.co.za or call 031 322 4021. Please note: What carol is heard in the desert? O camel ye faithful.

ROCK ON 31 December

New Year’s bash The Moses Mabhida Stadium has a fine line-up of events up its sleeve to keep holiday crowds amused. From markets to jazz festivals, noël readings and more, a highlight is the Fact Durban Rocks party. If last year’s stats are anything to go by, 18 000 fans will take full advantage of the braai area, live music and bragging rights to a splendid fireworks display that evening. Visit mmstadium.co.za. Tickets available at Computicket. Please note: Rock and Roll has no beginning and no end, for it is the very pulse of life itself.

text: vanessa rogers; pictures: supplied

PREHISTORIC PARADE Throughout December

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KWAZULU-NATAL | GUIDE

RECIPE EGGNOG ICE CREAM

text: anna trapido; pictures: supplied

12 egg yolks 165g sugar 3ml mixed spice 3ml cinnamon grounded Stalk of half a vanilla pod 500ml fresh cream 500ml full cream milk 70ml brandy/cook-off alcohol • In a bowl, mix the egg yolks, sugar and spices until light and fluffy. • Bring the egg yolk mixture to boil and pour in the milk and cream. • Remove from heat and mix well. • Return to heat in a medium pot and bring to boil once again. • Remove from the stove, strain and cool on ice. • Cook off the alcohol from the brandy in a pot and pour it into the mixture. • Either churn until set and solid in an ice-cream machine or, if you don’t have an ice-cream machine, place the mixture into a wide container in the freezer. Remove every 30 minutes and whisk/stir it until it is smooth and frozen. This process must be done for about two hours. The whisking stops ice crystals from forming.

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Eat KwaZulu-Natal SOUTHERN SUN ELANGENI AND MAHARANI One of the reasons that we are all dazed in the holidaze is that traditional Christmas food is so stodgy and boring. All that cold-weather food feels outdated in a modern South African setting. In an attempt to revitalise traditional fare, chef Clinton Bonhomme from Southern Sun Elangeni and Maharani has reinvented an ancient festive recipe. His eggnog ice cream is charming, modern and delicious. He has generously agreed to share the recipe with us. 63 Snell Parade, Durban, 031 362 1300, tsogosunhotels.com.

SKYE BISTRO When truly dazed from a long, hard year, only farm-style breakfasts, lingering lunches and divine dinners will restore health and happiness. Skye Bistro is a revelation to those expecting rabbit food at a spa – sin is definitely on the menu in the most delicious ways. There’s a magnificent veranda ideal for sunsets replete with gin and tonic. The accent is on local produce, with the kitchen’s herbs and vegetables grown on the extensive farmland attached to the Fordoun property. Fordoun Spa, Nottingham Road, Midlands, 033 266 6217, fordoun.com.

DECEMBER 2015

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GUIDE | KWAZULU-NATAL

RECIPE ORANGE CHOCOLATES 100ml orange juice (saving the rind) 150ml cream 300g white chocolate (35% cocoa butter), chopped 15ml Grand Marnier cognac liqueur 300g dark chocolate (70% couverture)

REMO’S ORIGINALE Eat in or takeaway, there’s nothing as soothing as fresh pasta. The team at Remo’s Originale in Mount Edgecombe hand make linguine, fusilli and spaghetti every day. If your children are irritating you, send them off on a kids’ pastamaking class. At least that way they will be irritating and useful (rather than just irritating) when you get them back. Shop 21, Flanders Mall, 14 Flanders Drive, Mount Edgecombe, 031 539 5955, remos.co.za.

PASTRY CHEF BONGEKO ZUMA Chocolate is always the answer to seasonal stress. Chef Bongeko Zuma

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is KZN’s chocolate queen. Her sweettoothed treats at Hartford House hotel have broken many diets and brought about many smiles. ‘For as long as I can remember, I’ve had Hartford House in my life,’ she says. ‘My mother, Ernestina Ndlovu, worked first as a cleaner in the offices at Hartford, and then baking breads and scones from the time I was about five years old, so the space feels like home. I have worked all over the kitchen but pastry is what I really love.’ She is currently working with chef Amore Botha to prepare a range of pastries and petit fours for the hotel’s newly opened tea garden and conservatory-based delicatessen. She has kindly shared the recipe for her signature

orange-ganache-filled chocolates (see above), which require patience (and a sugar thermometer) but are absolutely worth the epicurean effort. Hartford House, Mooi River, 033 263 2713, hartford.co.za.

text: anna trapido; pictures: supplied

Eat KwaZulu-Natal

Filling: • Heat the orange juice with the rind. Add the cream and bring to boil. • Pour this hot liquid over the chopped white chocolate. Add the Grand Marnier and mix well until all of the chocolate is dissolved. • Leave to cool before using as filling or it will melt the chocolate shell. Outer shell: • Temper the dark chocolate by melting it over a double boiler until it reaches 58˚C. Take it off the heat and keep on stirring until the chocolate comes down to a temperature of 29˚C. Return over the double boiler to warm up to 31˚C. • Fill the moulds with the tempered dark chocolate and leave to stand for five minutes. • Turn the mould out onto a cooling rack and let the excess chocolate run out. Leave the chocolate-lined moulds upside down to set. Final touches: • Once the shell is set, fill with white chocolate ganache, leaving enough space to enclose the shell with the remaining tempered chocolate. • Place in the fridge for five minutes, no more, to pop out the truffles without struggle.

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DECEMBER 2015

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GUIDE | KWAZULU-NATAL

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DECEMBER 2015

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KWAZULU-NATAL | GUIDE

The art of reinvention Emile Scholtz feels nostalgia tinged with the new at the Blue Marlin Hotel.

pictures: supplied

riving south down the coastal road from Durban is like being transported back in time: childhood holidays along this stretch revisit me as green-fringed shorelines unspool languidly out the window, the small towns and salty bolt holes drifting by practically unchanged in the intervening years. Change may come slowly to these parts, but when it does it’s of impressive order. The Blue Marlin Hotel is one of sleepy Scottburgh’s proudest landmarks, a South Coast icon that hearkens back to the resort golden age. If the 60s through to the 80s were the halcyon days, more recent history had not been so kind to this grand old dame. A tide of disrepair seeped in over the years and the Blue Marlin looked to be in its final death throes, before major investment and an even bigger reinvention rescued it from probable demise. Since 2013, the big fish has undergone an unsparing revamp, with all public

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spaces and more than 120 rooms gutted and entirely remodelled, giving the place a modern sheen and fresh vigour without pushing the boat out further than its three-star status will allow. Weddings, hip live music acts and commodious conference rooms are all bids for wider marketability, but all this forward-thinking energy would have been misspent if it was not founded on the service excellence and family values that have had guests returning for generations. ‘A home away from home’ is how one lady, well into her 60s, fondly describes the hotel she’s been visiting from Jo’burg since she was just two years old. She even offered to muck in with the renovations when it teetered on the brink – such is the loyalty the place inspires. While she may not be enamoured of all the changes – ‘Buffet dinners and breakfasts? If I wanted to serve myself I could have stayed at home!’ – and hews to the more old-fashioned sensibilities of

an evolving industry, the Blue Marlin is navigating the tension between the past and future winningly. A two-minute walk through a private-access path deposits you onto Scottburgh’s main beach. The balmy bay, indolent lagoon and terrifically retro super tube all make it one of the South Coast’s indubitable best. And don’t forget Aliwal Shoal, one of the most vaunted dive locations in the country, lying just offshore. To escape the hordes of day-trippers that throng the beach each December, retreat back to the hotel for a noontime tipple at the newly minted Pool Bar. Order the most luridly coloured cocktail on the menu and soak up the tropical schtick while The Beach Boys’ ‘Kokomo’ wafts through the torpid air. Things may be changing around here, but this has always has been the quintessential Blue Marlin experience. 180 Scott Street, Scottburgh, 039 978 3361, bluemarlinhotel.co.za.

DECEMBER 2015

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GUIDE | KWAZULU-NATAL

Castles in the garden

very time I find myself somewhere in the Drakensberg, I kick myself for not going more often. There’s something about being in the mountains that makes me feel insignificant, but also very alive. Then there’s the stillness; at midday, if the wind has dropped and you hold your breath, the silence blankets you completely. Driving the 30 minutes or so from Underberg towards the Gooderson Drakensberg Gardens Golf & Spa Resort (say that 10 times fast) is kind of like a holiday in itself – the peaks of the Southern Drakensberg rear up slightly more at each bend and almost unfold fully by the time you reach the resort’s entrance in a shallow valley leading to the feet of the mountains. The view is dominated by the Rhino, a 3 051m-high peak so named because of its horn-like shape, underneath which lie a number of spectacular sandstone buttresses. The resort is basically the kind of place where everyone from a toddler to a grandmother can have a killer time.

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The list of facilities is longer than a Lord of the Rings genealogy – mountain bike and walking trails, 18-hole golf course, driving range, spa, squash court, tennis courts, horse riding, swimming pool (and a separate heated pool), adventure golf, gym, animal farm, trout fishing, bowls, boating on the dam, bird-watching, swimming in the icy river… Basically, if you manage to get bored during your stay, it’s unlikely that you have a pulse. And this doesn’t even include the Garden Castle Reserve, with its numerous hiking trails to explore – from a gentle three-hour stroll to Pillar Cave to the strenuous 10-hour expedition to the tip of the Rhino. But one doesn’t only go on holiday to do stuff. Sometimes chilling in bed or on a deckchair is as much as one can muster the energy to do. If this is your vibe, Drakensberg Gardens has you covered too. Room options range from standard and superior suites to the massive honeymoon suite with its prime view over the valley, as well as spacious

four- and six-sleeper self-catering rooms. The views of the mountain make every room a good option really, and they’re well appointed with the usual facilities you’d expect. When it comes to food, the resort is no slouch either, with four restaurants – excluding the Glengarry Country Club, which also serves breakfasts and light lunches. From à la carte menus in the Vine Knot Restaurant, Bergview Restaurant and Bistro Terrace Café to an extensive carvery and buffet in the Eagles Roost, you’ll be covered. There’s also a small superette that sells the basics (chocolate and beer being the prime targets in my case). Essentially, whether you go for a night or a full week, the moment you leave will feel like it’s come all too soon and you’ll yearn to go back to the beginning. If that isn’t the mark of a good break, then I don’t know what is. Drakensberg Gardens Road, 033 701 1355, goodersonleisure.co.za.

pictures: supplied

Will Edgcumbe hits one into the rough in the Drakensberg.

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GARDEN ROUTE | GUIDE

What’s on Garden Route GET WET 15 December

Live comedy Nik Rabinowitz’s What the EFF? is finally coming to The Guild Theatre in East London. Whether it’s hippies rubbing their chords together to produce solar energy, militants marching into parliament in Pep overalls and Italian shoes or taxi drivers cutting you off, at some point in each day, most South Africans will ask: ‘What the EFF?’ Check out Nik’s take on all of this. Tickets available at Computicket. Please note: ‘Corrupt means one thing – you can’t explain the big amount in your bank account.’ – Julius Malema

ALL THAT JAZZ 18 December

Live music Head down to the Boardwalk Convention Centre to take in the talent of legendary trumpeter Hugh Masekela. Port Elizabeth will be proud to host Bra Hugh, as he is fondly known, as he steps away from touring the world this festive season and instead brings his innovative talent as a performer, composer and artist to excited locals. Tickets available at Computicket. Please note: Jazz is an open-ended music genre designed for open minds.

text: vanessa rogers; pictures: supplied

SPLISH SPLASH 19-21 December

Sports festival This December, the fit and energetic will have the opportunity to take part in up to four events in the annual Knysna Rotary Lagoon Splash. Choose between a mud run, a one mile (1.6km) swim, a quack attack (will your nominated plastic yellow ducky conquer the tides and wind?) and a dragon boat race. Or – for the brave – tackle all four! Funds in aid of local charities. Visit knysnasplash.co.za or call 084 029 9924. Please note: Mud, mud, glorious mud. Nothing quite like it for cooling the blood!

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VINTAGE AFFAIR 16-20 December

Arts and crafts market The Boerevintage Geskenke Mark, taking place at the Tramonto Venue, promises a wide range of crafts, gifts, food and fun from 10am until 6pm over five days. Suitable for the whole family, entrance is free and facilities include a restaurant and bar, a farm deli, wine tastings, live entertainment and more. Email boerevintage@gmail.com or call 083 398 0205 for more info. Please note: Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money.

CASTLES IN THE SAND 19 December

Competition Get to Sedgefield this month to take part in the Amateur Sandcastle Building Competition. While the enthusiastic take part in the fun run, creative and hard-working types will be putting finishing touches on their nature-inspired masterpieces. Suitable for the whole family, individuals, groups, companies or couples. For more, email the Sedgefield Tourism office at belinda@visitknysna.co.za or call 044 343 2007. Please note: ‘Maybe our dreams are like sandcastles; the fun is in the making of them, not in their permanence.’ – Marabeth Quin

ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE 21-23 December

Charity challenge Established 12 years ago by Tony and Suzy Lubner, in memory of their young daughter Sabrina who passed away from a rare bone disorder at the age of seven, the Sabrina Love Ocean Challenge, in partnership with Discovery, takes place in Plettenberg Bay and raises funds for the Sabrina Love Foundation. The day is filled with various sporting events, food and entertainment, catering for the ultra-fit to those who like a gentle beach walk. Visit sabrinalove.co.za. Please note: Sports do not build character; they reveal it.

DECEMBER 2015

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GUIDE | GARDEN ROUTE

RECIPE CRAB CAKES WITH BEAN SALSA AND LIME MAYONNAISE

Eat Garden Route

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SEW-ON FOODIE BADGES

KEY LARGO RESTAURANT

Matthew Bradley’s madly funky foodie sew-on badges are deliciously witty – giving you more than enough food for thought. Whether you stitch ‘slap t’jip’ to your favourite tracksuit or ‘moersa samosa’ to your school or gym bag, this is culinary arts at its coolest. His amazingly creative products are now available online. studio-h.co.za/shop.

The architecture, décor and menu at Key Largo restaurant have a sub-tropical, Hemingway feel – with mojitos, but no suicides. Chef John Quinn has kindly given his recipe for crab cakes with bean salsa and lime mayonnaise. Hemmingways Hotel, corner N1 Western Bypass and Two Rivers Drive, Cambridge, East London, 043 707 7985, hemingways.co.za.

DECEMBER 2015

• Place the crab meat, crushed boiled potatoes, spring onions, parsley, salt, pepper and chillies into a mixing bowl. Squeeze the juice of the lemon and mix until well combined. • Take the mixture and form into cakes roughly 5cm in diameter. • Place cakes into flour, then beaten egg mixture, and then the breadcrumbs. • Heat the oil in a frying pan and add the crab cake, making sure the oil is not too hot. • Cook until golden brown, remove and let cakes drain on a kitchen towel. • For the bean salad, mix together the black beans, red kidney beans, corn kernels and diced red pepper. Add the coriander and a squeeze of lemon. Season to taste. • Mix together the mayonnaise with the juice of the lime.

text: anna trapido; pictures: supplied

170g white crab meat 100g boiled potatoes, peeled 10g spring onions 3g parsley 2 chillies 1 lemon, juiced 1 egg Cake flour Breadcrumbs Oil to fry 30g black beans 30g red kidney beans 30g corn kernels 20g red pepper 5g coriander 1 lime, juiced 50g mayonnaise

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GARDEN ROUTE | GUIDE

RECIPE MUM’S CHOCOLATE BROWNIES

text: anna trapido; pictures: pete unsworth, supplied

400g dark chocolate 325g unsalted butter 6 eggs 2 egg yolks 300g caster sugar 50g cocoa powder 80g cake flour 50g fruit mince Coins (optional) • Preheat the oven to 160oC. Butter and base line a 20cm square baking tin with baking parchment paper. • Gently melt the dark chocolate and butter together in a bowl over hot water (bain-marie) until the melted mixture is smooth and luscious. Allow the chocolate mixture to cool slightly. • While the chocolate is cooling slightly, whisk the eggs, egg yolks and caster sugar until pale and fluffy. • Fold the melted chocolate mixture into the egg mixture. • Sieve the cocoa powder and the cake flour together and then fold the two into the chocolate and egg mixture. • Fold in the fruit mince and pour it all into the prepared tin. • Bake for 20 minutes until it is just set and slightly risen at the edges. • Remove from oven and allow to cool completely in the tin. You should have a thin crust and a rich gooey centre. • Should you wish, you can add coins to the mixture for an added traditional element – but warn your guests beforehand, lest they break a tooth.

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Eat Garden Route KURLAND HOTEL

FRATELLI FOODS

Kurland Hotel chef Leon Coetzee says: ‘Sometimes it’s best to stick to the classics, as they can’t be improved. Even so, I like to add a personal element. I remember when I was a kid I would sit in the kitchen watching my mum prepare these chocolate brownies with coins and fruit in them at Christmas. I thought everyone did that. I only discovered that was unusual when I grew up! In tribute to my memories of that time, I add my mum’s brownies with Christmas coins in them as the cherry on the top on our restaurant menu.’ The Crags, N2, Plettenberg Bay, 044 534 8082, kurland.co.za.

This Italian-style delicatessen and coffee bar is the hot spot for cool PE people. Shop your heart out and your socks off amidst the rows and rows of shelves piled high with every Italian treat imaginable – from amaretti biscuits to preserved zambone (stuffed trotters). Stay for stylish sit-down options such as walnut and chickpea salads or excellent antipasti platters. There’s also deep, dark, delicious espresso to stimulate the most dazed and disorientated of end-of-year brains. Alabaster Road, Baakens Valley, Port Elizabeth, 082 877 6411, fratellifoods.co.za.

DECEMBER 2015

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GUIDE | GARDEN ROUTE

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GARDEN ROUTE | GUIDE

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Lauren says a man is sexiest in a pair of well-fitted jeans, a white T-shirt and a pair of leather slip-slops. R975 Spree

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DECEMBER 2015

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GUIDE | GARDEN ROUTE

A tale of lagoons and doubloons

f the pirates of our fantasies – peg legs, eye patches and parrots – were still sailing the seven seas today, they would certainly drop anchor at Knysna Lagoon. What a perfect setting for a pirate’s hideaway. Fortunately, they’re not, although landlubbers can still live out piratical fantasies aboard a Knysna houseboat. Run by the reputable John Benn company, which offers a number of other boating options on the lagoon, the houseboats sleep up to four adults or a family of five. Making a rule that everyone speaks in a pirate voice and refers to you only as ‘captain’ or otherwise walk the plank might perhaps be better suited to a family holiday with younger kids. Likewise, unless you can convince your loved one that ‘Me hearty’ is a term of endearment, you probably shouldn’t enforce this rule on your honeymoon cruise.

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Pirates aside (for now), the option of a houseboat holiday is such a delightfully singular experience that it should be on everyone’s to-do list. Holidays are about freedom. It’s the perfect opportunity to truly get away from the crowds, be surrounded by nature and be able to spend quality time with your loved ones. However, if you tire of all the peace, serenity and dabbling in the ancient arts of real-time conversation and human interaction, you can always head towards Thesen Harbour Town and its upmarket smorgasbord of restaurants and shops … ‘to pillage and plunder!’ Erm, no. To genteelly wander about and sample some of the fine cuisine on offer and peruse the numerous boutiques. If the idea of having to break up your time on the water doesn’t appeal, the company also offers the fabulous option of ‘room service’ to your boat. What could

be better the sitting atop the rooftop sundeck, sipping a sundowner, while watching the Knysna lights flicker to life like an oversized outdoor Christmas tree. Then, just as the sun dips behind the distant hills, up putters another boat… ‘Avast! Run a shot across the bow, we’re been plundered!’ No, you addled fool. It’s dinner. That’s right. At the end of a long day of lazily cruising the lagoon, the exquisite joy of having dinner delivered aboard your own boat is phenomenal. For those who prefer the hands-on approach, there is a fully fitted galley (kitchen) and an outdoor braai for the one that didn’t get away. Fully equipped, no licence required or previous skipper experience necessary and you never even have to leave the boat. Now, does that shiver yer timber, or what? Thesen Island, 044 382 2802, knysnahouseboats.com.

pictures: supplied

Gareth Pretorius hoists the Jolly Roger and prepares to board a houseboat in Knysna.

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GARDEN ROUTE | GUIDE

Rooms with a view Katie Bigelow disappears into a devastatingly pretty countryside.

pictures: supplied

f my map reading meant anything, we were halfway to The Crags and spitting distance from Keurboomstrand. Yet it was on a road precious few would bother to take. We followed the gravel trail – an inconspicuous sudden right on the N2 about 10km after Plettenberg Bay – and found ourselves in a classic Garden Route wonderland. Tall trees rising to a canopy, rusted farm gates leaning at angles off their hinges, a cow with a gob full of cud squinting at us as though it knew we were lost. But then there it was: Tamodi, a lodge with its own stables and equestrian school, hidden away in a splendid world of its own. Beyond the gate stood a huge thatched building in natural hues with walls of packed stone, wood and glass. Inside was local art, comfy furniture, bonsai, and African fabrics draped to good effect. It felt like home as soon as we stepped inside.

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Only once we walked through, experienced its grand proportions and headed out the other side did we realise what a gem we’d stumbled upon. Arriving on the massive wooden terrace, our jaws hung open at the scene before us. Set on stilts high above the Matjies River, its views were of indigenous emerald forest covering vast undulating valleys and the silhouetted Outeniqua Mountains continuing towards distant horizons. The kind of scene you imagine exists only in big-budget movies about hobbits on longwinded journeys through New Zealand. Back inside, enormous doors (made from recycled railway sleepers and Rhodesian teak) led to the three bedrooms. We’d booked the honeymoon suite, a huge space with a four-poster bed and glass walls with sliding doors opening onto a private deck, with an outdoor shower and our very own version of that epic view.

Set within a conservancy with warthogs, baboons and bushbuck, the lodge’s grounds include unfenced dams and easy access to an exquisite expanse of nature. To break the spell of blissful laziness, we borrowed bicycles to cycle through the woods or farther down the road to Keurboomstrand for a dip in the ocean, followed by seafood at Enrico’s, a legendary Italian restaurant on the beach. We spent lazy hours watching Tamodi’s beautifully groomed horses trotting around their paddock, and back at the lodge we took our time choosing a special vintage from our host’s wine cellar. Then we sat on the deck toasting to our good fortune as that enchanted view was steadily replaced by an inky blackness, and our attention was drawn to a sky filled with stars. Keurboom Heights, 044 534 8071, tamodi.co.za.

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TOP TIPPLE | GUIDE

Happy hosting THE OFFICE PARTY

BUBBLY BREAKFAST

Office parties invariably involve some shimmying and shaking. The Charles shandy, a dance similar to the foxtrot, was created by Charles Sedgwick. This cocktail should get you in the mood for a little moving and shaking.

Why not do things a little differently for your bubbly breakfast by imbibing a bottle of Prosecco? Prosecco is sparkling wine produced in Italy from the Glera grape varietal, although others may be included. So add some international flare to your colazione Italiana (Italian breakfast) with Bottega Millesimato, a bubbly with great personality made of grapes from the Veneto area. It exudes scents of golden apple and exotic flowers that tickle your nose and follow through to a fragrant finish. At just 11% ABV, it’s fabulous as an apéritif or in breakfast cocktails. R99 per 750ml.

SHERRY COCKTAIL 750ml Sedgwick’s Original Old Brown 2 cups ice 500ml orange juice 500ml cranberry juice Crushed ice 50ml grenadine Bitters Strawberry and orange peel • Mix Sedgwick’s Original Old Brown, ice cubes, orange juice and cranberry juice in a punch bowl. Stir well. • Scoop into cocktail glasses over crushed ice. • Blend in the grenadine to taste. • Add dash of bitters and garnish with strawberry slices and orange peel.

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Ingrid Graham says cheers to the festive season with tantalising tipples for every feasible occasion.

from the Elgin area. No added sugars or concentrates are used, and it’s gluten free and suitable for vegans. So be a rebel and serve it chilled at your bestie braai. R20 per 330ml.

THE GRADUATION For the graduation, be smart and spend more time with your guests and enjoy the party this year. Why be slogging behind the bar pouring and mixing when you should be part of the jol?

BESTIE BRAAI For your bestie braai include a Sxollie or two. I know you’ve never had any skollies at your braai before, but now’s the time to stretch yourself and be a bit more inclusive. Sxollie is an alcoholic cider made from singlevarietal Golden Delicious and Granny Smith apples

Save by shoping around for wines in magnums that hold twice as much as a bottle. You can get a quaffer at R55 or a serious contender at R360, with lots more in between. If you’re feeling really fancy, splash out on a jeroboam of GH Mumm’s No. 1 range (R1 115 for 3 litres).

DECEMBER 2015

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GUIDE | TOP TIPPLE

THE MOTHER-IN-LAW Forgotten a present for the in-law? Fear not. Liquor her up and impress her with the limited edition Carol Boyes Cape Blend from Stellenbosch, and Shiraz from Franschhoek. Both 2013 wines are packed in a spot-varnish gift box and come with a stylish Carrol Boyes bottle stopper (priced at R410). While

you’re at it, Barista Coffee Pinotage has chocolate and vanilla overtones and is ready to be enjoyed now. A handy reusable tin makes a nifty gift and receptacle for coffee beans later on. R70 per 750ml.

BOXING DAY Celebrate Boxing Day with an Avondale Navitas 2008 limited-release gift box box. Avondale Estate is a dynamic living system where soil, water and energy, plants, animals and people, and even the buildings are part of a complex web of relationships and networks, interconnected and quite interdependent. The flagship red blend, Navitas, bears the armillary sphere, an ancient astronomical instrument used to show the positions of stars around the earth. Navitas – meaning energy – is an exclusive limited release blend of Syrah, Mourvedre and Grenache (R1 500).

NEW YEAR’S EVE Blingle all the way into 2016 with Bottega Diamond Diamond, a classy sparkler made from 100% Pinot Noir grapes that have spent a full year on the lees to produce a dry cuvée with fragrant fruit and spices on the palate. It’s also a flipping good-looking bottle to bring to a party (R390). If you need to kick things up a notch, Black Bottle is a blended whisky inspired by the brothers Graham of Aberdeen in Scotland. While distinctive on its own, Black Bottle is delicious in cocktails.

BLACK BOTTLE BITTERS AND COLA 1 part Black Bottle whisky 2-3 dashes Angostura bitters 2 parts cola • Fill a rocks glass to rim with ice. • Add bitters, Black Bottle Whisky and cola, stir and add orange wedge to garnish.

NEW YEAR’S DAY Hair of the dog? Il Mallo Caffè Liqueur is a fix for coffee addicts and should take the edge off the memory of the night before. From the ancient city of Modena, also the home of Maserati and Ferrari, this liqueur bursts with aromas of espresso and cream to tickle your nose while your mouth fills with velvety-smooth dark chocolate. Serve directly from the freezer, on the rocks or over double-thick vanilla ice cream. Warning: this stuff is seriously addictive. R290 per 750ml.

pictures: supplied, istock

NO EXCUSES NEEDED Give yourself a gift that looks splendid sans wrapping, is functional after the last drop is poured, and will make sexy candle-stick holders and add a touch of romance during load-shedding later in the year. At R420, Grappa Moscato a unique Alexander Moscato, Italian spirit, meets the standard of a true grappa made by distilling only the fermented pulp, skins and stalks of the grapes, resulting in a fragrant less-sweet spirit. Grappa Alexander Moscato is made from the marc of fresh, golden-white Muscat grapes. It has an attractive round and soft texture, with classic Muscat aromas of fruit, flowers and soothing medicinal herbs to settle your stomach after a heavy festive lunch.

* Alcohol sale prohibited to persons under 18 years of age. 92

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text: jayne macé-ferguson, lynn berggren; pictures: supplied

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DECEMBER 2015

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GUIDE | BEAUTY

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17382

Allergy – or not? Like many people, you may find it difficult to tell whether your symptoms are caused by allergies or not. You also need to remember that a runny or stuffy nose and other symptoms may not be caused by an allergy at all. A number of other factors, such as irritants, infections, injuries or deformities of the nose, can cause symptoms similar to allergies. To treat the symptoms, you need to understand the real cause behind them, since treatment differs for different conditions. That’s why it’s important to have an allergy blood test to help your doctor make an appropriate allergy diagnosis. UNDERSTAND YOUR SYMPTOMS Beyond itching, sneezes and sniffles, allergies can have many symptoms you wouldn’t expect – such as stomach pain, diarrhoea or ear infection. Recognising the typical signs of most common allergies is a prerequisite to getting a correct diagnosis, appropriate help and optimal symptom relief. ALLERGIES ADD UP – BUT WHICH ARE THEY? Most people with allergies are allergic to more than one thing and greater exposure to allergy triggers is more likely to make symptoms worse. Since allergy triggers (such as dust mites, furry animals, pollen, etc.) add up, symptoms may appear only when exposed to two or more allergy triggers at the same time. This means that what may seem like the obvious trigger – for example, pollen – may just be the ‘tip of the iceberg’. TESTING FOR ALLERGIES How do you know whether your symptoms are caused by an allergy or not – and if so, to what exactly? Knowing what’s causing your symptoms is important, since treatment differs for different conditions. The right diagnosis and early treatment of allergies can also help prevent potentially serious complications of allergies from developing, such as ear infection, sinusitis and asthma. ASK YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT A BLOOD TEST FOR ALLERGY A blood test will help your doctor determine if you are allergic, what you are allergic to and may even rule out allergy. A blood test is quick and simple and is available to your doctor. A blood test is quantitative and measures the amount of allergy antibodies in the blood (IgE), which is an indicator of allergic sensitisation. Based on a physical examination, your case history and the blood test results, your doctor will be able to make a proper diagnosis and decide on a relevant treatment for you. A blood test can test for hundreds of allergens, such as weeds, trees, pollen, mould, food and animal dander. Adults and children of any age can take a blood test, and it can be performed irrespective of skin condition, medication, symptom, disease activity and pregnancy. Any doctor can take the blood sample and request the test and the tests are covered by medical aid.

Are the symptoms really signs of allergy? Nasal congestion/sneezing, itchy/watery eyes and nose:

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•

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Rule in or rule out allergy early – ask your doctor for a specific IgE blood test to increase certainty Visit www.isitallergy.co.za to complete your Allergy Profile

Reveal the secrets behind

the allergy-like symptoms A single blood test that helps you to rule in or rule out allergy References: 1. Szeinbach SL, et al. J Manag Care Pharm. 2004 May–Jun;10(3): 234–8. 2. Welsh NR, et al. J Am Pharm Assoc 2006; 46(5): 627. 3. Host A, et al. Allergy. 2003 Jul; 58(7): 559–69.4. Milgrom H. AAAAI news release. Milwaukee, WI: American Academy of Allergy, Asthma & Immunology; June 17, 2003. 5. Allen-Ramey F. J Am Board Fam Pract. 2005; 18(5):434–9. 6. Spergel JM. Am J Clin Dermatol. 2008; 9(4): 233–44. ThermoFisher Scientific 197 Fabriek Street Strijdom Park Randburg 2125. Tel 011 792 6790 Fax 011 793 1064 www.isitallergy.co.za www.thermoscientific.com/phadia/en-za

DO YOU SUSPECT ALLERGIES BEHIND YOUR SYMPTOMS? Allergies are very common and we often treat the symptoms, without finding the cause! To download your free Allergy e-book, visit http://info.thermoscientific.com/AllergyGuide_SouthAfrica 17382 Fisher Scientific Journal Ad 95x230®v3.indd 1

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WATCH | GUIDE

Watch this...

Make that inevitable, terrifying trip to the shopping mall more fun with a marathon of pitch-perfect holiday entertainment. MOVIE GIVEAWAY

CREED

SNOOPY AND CHARLIE BROWN: THE PEANUTS MOVIE Release date: 4 December Some small part of you might’ve knuiped a little at the mention of a new 3D Peanuts movie. It’s simultaneously an exciting and terrifying prospect, one that could honour/ defile the most treasured of institutions. Thankfully, the filmmakers have done a splendid job of translating the adventures of Snoopy, Charlie and the rest of the gang to the big screen – providing a welcome introduction for the younger generation and giving a nostalgic treat for the adults who grew up with them. Anticipatometer: n n n n n

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VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN

THE LITTLE PRINCE

SNOOPY AND CHARLIE BROWN: THE PEANUTS MOVIE

CREED

Release date: 4 December See page 18 for details I don’t know if anybody was quite expecting a Rocky spin-off, but here it is. Creed tells the story of Adonis Johnson (Michael B Jordan), the son of the similarly beautifully named Apollo Creed, Rocky’s opponent and friend from so many films ago. Adonis never knew his dad, but boxing is in his blood, so he heads to Philadelphia to track down Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone), who agrees to train him while battling an opponent more deadly than any he faced in the ring. Stallone looks like hell (befitting his character) but he’s still got some creaky charm, while Jordan has charisma aplenty to carry this whole thing through. Hopefully. Anticipatometer: n n n

THE LITTLE PRINCE Release date: 11 December Based on the 1943 novel of the same name by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, the film is not a straight adaptation of the book, but rather tells an original story about a young girl whose pushy mother wants her to grow up too fast. Introduced by her neighbour to the world of The Little Prince, she learns all sorts of beautiful lessons about life. It’s only director Mark Osborne’s second feature film, but his first was Kung Fu Panda, which managed to teach great lessons and be absolutely terrific fun at the same time. Anticipatometer: n n n n n

VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN Release date: 11 December 20th Century Fox has released this rather broad adaptation of Mary Shelley’s book about a man’s quest to create life. Told from Igor’s (Daniel Radcliffe) perspective, the film depicts the troubled young assistant’s dark origins and his friendship with medical student Victor Frankenstein. When the two go too far in their noble attempts to aid humanity, Victor’s obsession turns to madness. He then unleashes his final creation: a monstrous figure that holds unimaginable terror for anyone its path. Anticipatometer: n n n

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STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS

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POINT BREAK Release date: 25 December And lo – another remake nobody asked for! Kathryn Bigelow’s 1991 crime thriller of the same name was a gloriously indulgent genre fare. Now comes this update, directed by Ericson Core (cough), who previously directed The Invincible. The story remains the same: a young FBI agent, Johnny Utah (Luke Bracey), infiltrates a cunning team of thrill-seeking elite athletes led by the charismatic Bodhi (Edgar Ramirez), and suspected of carrying out a spate of crimes in extremely unusual ways. It apparently features the most extreme big-wave surfing, wingsuit flying, sheer-face snowboarding, free rock climbing, and high-speed motorcycling ever seen on the silver screen so, like, even if the story isn’t up to scratch, like, bro, it should still drill your adrenal gland. Bro. Anticipatometer: n n

MOVIE GIVEAWAY See page 18 for details

IN THE HEART OF THE SEA Release date: 31 December This sounds like fun. In the Heart of the Sea is based on the book of the same name by Nathaniel Philbrick, about the sinking of the whale ship Essex, which inspired the novel Moby-Dick by Herman Melville. Confused? Anyway, in the winter of 1820, the Essex was assaulted by something no one could believe: a whale of mammoth proportions and will, and an almost-human sense of vengeance. In the aftermath, the ship’s surviving crew is pushed to their limits and forced to do the unthinkable to stay alive (whatever that might entail), while their captain (Benjamin Walker) tries to lead them home and their first mate (Chris Hemsworth – this one’s for you, ladies) seeks to end the great whale’s life. It should be worth a watch, if only to drift back to the 1820s. Anticipatometer: n n n n

text: anthony sharpe; pictures: supplied

TROUVOETE Release date: 18 December Of course we need a film with a grumpylooking bloke dressed as Santa on the poster! And look at all those smiling faces behind him. And all those Christmas trees! Afrikaans cinema’s forays into the rom-com genre continue, and why not? It’s been pretty lucrative so far, and they’ve tapped into the national desire for lessdepressing local cinema. Anyway, Darrell Roodt directs this tale of Louis (Bouwer Bosch), a shy doctor, and Ella (Erica Wessels), who has sworn off love, who have never met but have been conversing online for a while. With Christmas approaching, Louis suggests they meet at last… You know what happens next, right? Complications, misunderstandings, comedy, romance, CHRISTMAS. It’s all here, folks. Don’t be so cynical. Anticipatometer: n n n

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POINT BREAK

STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS

Release date: 16 December After 38 years, three great films, three pretty awful prequels (which turned one of the most iconic bad guys into a pouty brat), countless fanfics, games, books, religious conversions, and much more, the new Star Wars film is here. There’s not much point saying any more than that. You’ve already made your mind up about whether or not you’re going to watch it. Basically, the story is set about 30 years after the events of Return of the Jedi, it’s directed by JJ Abrams, who rebooted Star Trek to reasonable acclaim, and Luke Skywalker and Han Solo are back. May the Force be with you. Anticipatometer: n n n n n

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Library lounge Find a quiet spot and unwind with these lovely holiday literary picks.

THE UNEXPECTED INHERITANCE OF INSPECTOR CHOPRA

PERSUASION GAMES

GILAN GORK PORCUPINE PRESS Brought to you by the Master of Influence, Gilan Gork, Persuasion Games promises to reveal the mind games of influence and how to win them. According to Gork, we’re all persuaded into doing something on a daily basis – whether it is buying that sale item or finally accepting that date. It’s the way society works and how people of influence execute said influence. Now Gork gives us the secrets to unlocking this code and using our own powers of persuasion – in an ethical and responsible manner – to get what we want. Great for business people and even parents of stubborn children, Persuasion Games is sure to give you deeper insight into how the mind works.

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VASEEM KHAN MULHOLLAND BOOKS/HODDER Just in time for the holidays, Inspector Ashwin Chopra has decided to retire from the police force, but not before inheriting two final mysteries: a case of a drowned boy and an elephant. Author Vaseem Khan takes us to the lesser-known parts of Mumbai, from the fancy high-rise buildings to the murky underworld, as Inspector Chopra tries to decipher his last case and the mystery of an elephant in his living room. The Unexpected Inheritance of Inspector Chopra forms part of Khan’s Baby Ganesh series of crime novels, so one can expect to be entranced by his signature humour interweaved with a suspense-driven narrative.

BLACKOUT: THE ESKOM CRISIS

JAMES-BRENT STYAN JONATHAN BALL PUBLISHERS With all the doom and gloom surrounding the current electricity crisis in the country, we all at some point must have wondered: ‘What went wrong?’ Well, wonder no more. Author James-Brent Styan presents a blowby-blow account of what caused the energy collapse in South Africa, covering the history, and present and future predicaments of the once-powerful (excuse the pun) Eskom. Styan has been following the energy calamity since 2008, 10 years after the government was warned about the impending blackout and subsequent collapse of energy in the country, and his work includes graphs, interviews with experts, decision makers and employees of the fallen Eskom.

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THE DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC OF BRAAI

JOHN PLATTER PAWPAW PRESS John Platter became a South African household name with his (long since sold) eponymous wine guide. Now he returns to the vineyards with a simple yet stylish book detailing the tastes and times of our best wines and winemakers. Whether you favour old-school epicurean icons or innovative adventure, Platter provides delicious detail to suit every palate and wallet. The great news is that this is not just a dry list of the ‘best’ wines blindtasted and scored by a panel. Rather, it is a charming set of purely personal picks from the most trusted taste buds in the booze business. There are easy explanations of the wine terms that befuddle everyday drinkers and great wine-friendly recipes from top chefs. Add in a sprinkling of cute back stories and BOOK amusing anecdotes, and it wraps up as GIVEAWAY a great Christmas present for new and See page 16 established wine drinkers alike. for details

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THE CAPE TOWN BOOK

NECHAMA BRODIE PENGUIN RANDOM HOUSE The Cape Town Book presents a fresh picture of the Mother City, one that brings together all its stories. From geology and beaches to forced removals and hip-hop, Nechama Brodie, author of the best-selling The Joburg Book, delves into the hidden past of the Mother City to emerge with a compelling contemporary account of South Africa’s first city, its landscape and its people. The book’s 14 chapters trace the origins and expansion of Cape Town – from the City Bowl to the southern and coastal suburbs, the vast expanse of the Cape Flats and the sprawling northern areas. Offering a nuanced, yet balanced, perspective on Cape Town, the book includes familiar attractions such as Table Mountain, Kirstenbosch and the Company’s Garden, while also giving a voice to marginalised histories in areas such as Athlone, Langa, Mitchells Plain and Khayelitsha.

text: anthony shapre, lynn berggren-goodwin; pictures: supplied

MY KIND OF WINE

JAN BRAAI NB PUBLISHERS This is Jan Scannell’s (aka Jan Braai) third book, following Fireworks and Red Hot. Now South Africa’s ambassador for all things cooked over an open flame has stepped things up a notch with The Democratic Republic of Braai. Jan believes it’s everyone’s democratic right to gather around a fire with friends and family and flambé things. But Jan also believes that right extends beyond merely tjop en steak, mos. The book is filled with creative ways to braai meat, but also recipes for things like braaied sweet-pepper salads, banana-and-Nutella wraps, breakfast-braai muesli (really), cheese cake (like, really) and carrot potjie (seriously, ja). In total, Jan offers up 85 mouth-watering recipes that’ll have you inviting your mates around to celebrate your rights this summer.

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Listen up Treat your eardrums with these holiday CD picks.

PRINCE

PLECTRUMELECTRUM WARNER BROS. This is an old album by review standards (released in 2014, which makes it so last year), but it’s still worth a listen, especially as it’s a full-length album – something quite rare these days. In this album (what’s up with that name, though?), Prince returned to his wild and weird 80s ways, and this time he had company in the form of all-girl band 3rdEyeGirl. They make a mean team on tracks ‘Aintturninground’ and ‘Plectrumelectrum’, even though the sound deviates from the Prince we’ve come to know. The album reached number-one status on the Billboard Top Rock Albums chart, and number eight on The Billboard 200, so clearly it’s a worth a shot if the masses are to be believed.

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ZEBRA & GIRAFFE

SLOW MOTION (EP) INDEPENDENT Zebra & Giraffe have been crafting albums, winning SAMAs, filling up festivals and generally making pretty good music for seven years now. In that time they’ve released three LPs and two EPs, and now they’ve made it evenstevens with this five-track collection. Working with a new producer, Cian Riordan (Holychild, The Wombats), has resulted in a slightly more stripped-back sound. Opener ‘Won’t Break Down’ gets things going on a rather poppy note, while the title track finds the band in a sentimental mode, while ‘Redefine’ is like a warm blanket of sound that you want to wrap around yourself. It’s pretty good stuff from the band, and enough to tie us over until they upset the fragile balance by releasing another LP.

SEAL

7 WARNER BROS. Okay, let’s first talk about the album artwork: love, love, love it! Seal has included a collection of spontaneous images of himself with his adorable children, and this lends a personal touch to the album. And personal is really what this album is. ‘Daylight Saving’ is a powerful ballad, although the orchestral feel of it might leave some disagreeing. But don’t worry, things start getting slightly more pumped up as you get to track three, ‘Life on the Dancefloor’, and ‘Padded Cell’ is sure to get those feet moving. Overall, this ninth studio album is typically Seal. His voice is undeniably recognisable, and still as vulnerable and powerful as ever before. What a nice comeback!

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BU IDAY AL L O H N OR FU JUST F

RUPAUL

SLAY BELLES RUCO INC It’s pretty difficult to take anything Ms Paul does seriously, and this album is no exception. After waiting many years for her to release another holiday album, RuPaul’s Slay Belles slays like a newbie comedienne at a random open-mic night in a dingy bar. The songs themselves are kind of like those dodgy low-budget films, and you can’t help but skip the tracks to get to the juicy interludes. If nothing else, this album should keep you entertained while you’re stuck in a hot car on your way to your holiday destination … or not.

ING STOCK

GIVE IT A

JUSTIN BIEBER

PURPOSE (DELUXE) DEF JAM RECORDS This is the perfect gift to put under the tree for an older teen. Justin’s growing up (finally, much to the relief of parents the world over) and his music reflects a more stable, more mature Biebs. He has really good collaborations on this album – Nas, Big Sean, Skrillex and Diplo and Ariana Grande, to name a few. The album has some good tunes, including dramatic love songs presumably written for ex Selena Gomez, making it a good buy, whether you’re a fan or not.

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ADELE

25 COLUMBIA RECORDS You simply cannot fault Adele on anything, not even her ever-aching heart. This latest album from the ‘Chasing Pavements’ singer is Adele at her best. She’s stuck to her winning formula and sings unapologetically about love, heartache, breaking up and making up. It’s simply powerful. It’s been a long wait since her previous album (she’s been a bit preoccupied with motherhood), but listening to it one can understand that perfection takes time.

MISS

THE BRAXTONS

BRAXTON FAMILY CHRISTMAS DEF JAM RECORDINGS One way to sell an album that has little hope is to put five sexy ladies, sharing a nothing but a silk sheet as clothing, on the cover. Well, in this case, it does help that the lady in the middle is Toni Braxton. Even so, take our advice and rather give this album a miss – even if you’re a fan of the Braxtons. There have been far too many romantic RnB-style adaptations of Christmas songs in recent years, and let’s face it, no one wants to slow dance to a Christmas treffer.

pictures: supplied

E XMAS FOR TH

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Mzansiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s special

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Ahead of Mango Groove’s headline New Year’s Eve appearance at Vic Falls Carnival, Keith Bain chats with Claire Johnston, the seductive voice that’s fronted the group for more than three decades.

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I’ve been singing since I was three. I had a solo in a school show and afterwards an actress in the audience came up to my mum and said, ‘Do put your daughter on the stage, Mrs Johnston!’ – like a line from an old play. My mum was very proud of this and my father always encouraged me, and so I think I was motivated. I think I loved being liked – which sounds terrible – but I enjoyed making people happy, and I liked the affirmation. Now that I’m older it scares me, but when I was three it didn’t scare me at all. John Leyden, the band’s founder, had been in a punk band, but had always been in love with the music of Sophiatown in the 50s and 60s. He met a Zambian pennywhistle player on the street outside Gallo Records. They hooked up and, before long, John dropped the punk band and formed a kwela-marabi band. That was in 1984. I joined Mango Groove the following year – I was 17 and still at school. For about two months there was a saxophonist named Sarah, and when she left, I was alone with a bunch of boys. I imagine my mum must have been massively trusting letting me go off on the road with the band at age 18. Our first album had a false start: our record company got sold, so we had to start from scratch. That debut album was finally released in 1989. We weren’t sure what to expect, but it really exploded, and took us around the world. I think our timing was good in terms of the country’s need. People were ready for change, ready to see black and white South Africans on stage together. I also think it’s because our music’s always had a bittersweet quality to it. People just seem to love ‘Special Star’, for example, and I think it’s because it starts out quite sad, quite haunting, and then becomes uplifting. It’s like a little slice of life, echoing what it’s

like to be a human being – the duality of life, with its ups and downs. As I’ve grown older, I’ve become interested in all sorts of different music. Early on, I liked Ella Fitzgerald, Frank Sinatra, Louis Armstrong. My mum took me to see musicals, which I loved and, when I was 10, I was in Annie. At the same time, I became a big fan of Blondie’s Debbie Harry – I loved her fishnet socks, long hair, and attitude. I used to think I hated country music, and I love it now. I struggle to think of music I don’t like. For me, music is mood driven. Sometimes I’m in the mood for Metallica or Nirvana, other times I want something softer.

‘THE TRUTH IS THAT A PART OF ME WOULD HAVE LOVED TO BE KURT COBAIN’ As far as I’m concerned, good music is good music, and a good song is a good song. You can’t be limited by genre or style or preference for a particular band. The truth is that a part of me would have loved to be Kurt Cobain. But I’m me, so I’m going to be the best me that I can be. ‘Special Star’ was such a surprise hit. It was born out of an impromptu jam after someone started playing a beautiful line on a penny whistle. It was recorded with the intention of being just an album track. Those were the days when the record company chose which songs would become hits, and they didn’t see ‘Special Star’ as a hit. Understandable, because it’s a very unlikely pop song – it’s seven-minutes long. It starts slow, speeds up, no vocals, slows down

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I’ve been on several wilderness trails in Hluhluwe-iMfolozi Game Reserve, and that’s something I love. They’re always a bit scary because you have to respect the fact that you’re truly in the wild, you’re no longer this all-important human being at the top of the food chain. I find that incredibly humbling, and very healing. You become reverential. You can just be so quiet and observe everything that’s going on around you. Every so often, you bump into a wild animal, perhaps coming really close to white rhino, and it’s such a gentle experience, something beyond compare with anything else. I wish everyone on the planet had access to that experience. I used to be very much a city girl but, as I’ve grown older, that’s changed. More and more I think I’m more drawn to the natural world, and less inclined to travel to cities, unless they’re places I’ve never been to before. I’m more inclined to go somewhere quiet, to be in nature, where I can see lions with a few good people. I still enjoy the buzz of the stage. And I still get frightened, because every situation is different. We’re 11 people on stage and that alone means that every performance will be different, because everyone is their own person, and the band shifts from time to time. I think to avoid becoming stale, the trick is to always remain excited – and slightly nervous.

FIND YOUR GROOVE

Mango Groove will perform at Kirstenbosch Gardens on 13 December, and is the headline act on New Year’s Eve at the Vic Falls Carnival, a three-day celebration in the eponymous town at the border between Zimbabwe and Zambia. Besides outdoor concerts, the festival includes a party train ride, and opportunities to tackle some of the Vic Falls adrenaline activities (including bungee jumping) and heading off on safari. vicfallscarnival.com

pictures: supplied

again, vocals, speeds up again, and then ends. So everyone was surprised when it became the biggest song off that album. Wherever we go, to this day, it moves people. Strange things happen at concerts. I remember having a pair of panties land on my head in the middle of ‘Special Star’. Everyone cracked up laughing, but I was very embarrassed … I was so young! We had a woman climb on stage, and she was so excited she took off her top – that was fun. Less fun was the time in a club when a guy climbed onto a table, put his arms in the air, and got his hands caught in the overhead fan. Performing at Madiba’s inauguration was amazing for all sorts of reasons. It was the beginning of our democracy, there was the reveal of our new flag, the anthem, dignitaries from around the world, the pomp and ceremony celebrating this country instead of denigrating it. It felt like South Africa was being welcomed to the world. That gave me goose bumps. There was this sense of being part of a massive change and a huge, global occasion. Over the years we have had so many missed flights, so many lost bags. I got lost in Lisbon. We all went to a restaurant and afterwards got into separate cabs. We’d only just arrived and I didn’t speak Portuguese, so I was desperately trying to explain to the cab driver where we were

going, but I hadn’t taken the hotel card with me so I didn’t actually know where we were meant to be going. Times have changed. I think the days of the big record companies are pretty much over. Nowadays it’s all about Twitter and Facebook and iTunes. Bands and musicians are adapting to a new era. To some extent, you don’t rely on radio; a lot of it is up to you, the artist. And I think it’s quite challenging, but quite exciting. You have to be on the ball, taking pictures all the time, engaging that social-media world all the time. Young artists really know how to work it, because they don’t know how it operated in the past. Some of the older artists have to adapt or potentially lose out. Ideally I’d like to alternate my New Year celebrations, having one at home and doing absolutely nothing, just chilling with my partner, and then the next year spending time with a big crowd of people and really seeing in the New Year and having fun. I’ve been to Vic Falls twice. The last time was a long while back. I recall these enormous baboons lounging in the trees, and I remember walking along this path and then seeing the falls, and although they weren’t in full flight, they were hardly a trickle. I’m thrilled to be going there this year with the entire band. Bungee jump? Never! The thought terrifies me. I’d rather jump out of a plane.

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Twiddle your thumbs Tear up the environment, take down terrorists and simulate your life with this monthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s gaming goodness.

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perform crazy flying stunts or, you know, hijack a plane midair. A Just Cause game wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be the same without spectacular levels of destruction, and this time nothing is spared, with access to unlimited C4, which

text and pictures: supplied by BT games

JUST CAUSE 3 PS4, XBox One, PC Bearded, havoc-wreaking hero Rico Rodriguez returns to his homeland, the Mediterranean paradise of Medici, whereupon he sets out to dispose of the iron-fisted dictator ruling the land. Much like in the previous two games, players spend their time running, gunning, commandeering vehicles, leaping from heights, and parachuting around the beautiful scenery of the various isles making up the game arena. The grappling hook returns, allowing for creative interaction with and movement between objects in the game world, while the wingsuit further expands that freedom, enabling you to traverse the game quickly,

can be upgraded, allowing you to reshape the world in your destructive image. The open world is your playground and Just Cause 3 aims to deliver an explosive package inundated with fun, chaos and, um, causes.

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GAMES | GUIDE

THE SIMS 4: GET TO WORK PC, Mac The latest Sims 4 expansion is finally here! Enter the Magnolia Promenade â&#x20AC;&#x201C; a brand-new neighbourhood to set up your new practice! Spend your simulated days as a doctor saving lives in the bustling emergency room, delivering babies or performing surgeries.

Solve crimes and start your own investigations by interrogating suspects, and solving mysterious cases as a detective. Or put your genius to work and create snazzy inventions for good or evil as a mastermind scientist! Still undecided? Perhaps make the right business choice by creating a retail business in the bakery sector or a clothing boutique, art gallery or bookstore chain. Expand any of the above with new baking and photography skills to make your Sim stand out from the crowd.

For added intrigue, you can uncover alien Sims in your neighbourhood posing as humans, and uncover the location of the mysterious alien dimension. You can also create your Sim as an alien! The Sims 4 base game is required.

text and pictures: supplied by BT games

TOM CLANCYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S RAINBOW SIX SIEGE PS4, XBox One, PC The latest in the Rainbow Six series is an effectively multiplayer-only experience that places heavy emphasis on environmental destruction and cooperation between players. Players select operators from realworld counter-terrorist units such as the US FBI SWAT, French GIGN, British SAS and Russian Spetsnaz, to name a few. Each operator has a specific skill set and defensive or offensive characteristics, and with experience gained in the field you can upgrade their gear. Tactics, equipment and close communication between players are key to success. Adding to the dynamism of the game are destructible environments

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across the maps, meaning a range of means to deal with threats, so thinking out of the box can easily tilt the balance of a match. You better watch your six.

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Hello, free time!

Andy Walker of Gearburn.com gazes into the distance at the holiday horizon with these essential gadgets for your home and travels.

CAPTURE THE MOMENT The Drift Stealth is an action camera for those who don't want to fork out on an expensive piece of equipment, but would like to record their memories without hassle. It connects to your smartphone and can record full-HD video without much fuss. Additionally, Drift bundles a good number of accessories alongside the Stealth, from a headband to a rather nifty helmet mount; so if you plan to go rock climbing or mountain biking, the Drift Stealth is probably your best bet. R3 849, iwarehouse.co.za.

LOUD AND PROUD The Philips BT2500 is the perfect speaker for those who are technologically challenged. It connects to your smartphone via Bluetooth and allows you to play your favourite music on the beach or back at your holiday home. It should last for around five hours on a single charge, so you can work on that tan while listening to your favourite summer jams. R799, Dion Wired.

MUSIC TO YOUR EARS The holidays wouldn't be complete if we didn't spend some time catching up on our favourite new albums, and that's where Plantronicsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; BackBeat PRO headphones come in handy. Featuring comfortable ear cups for long journeys and a chic exterior, the headphones will look and feel good regardless of where you are. They're also wireless, so there'll be no tangles when storing them. R3 149, Superbalist.

PLEASURABLE READING The Amazon Kindle Paperwhite 2nd Edition is perfect for those who travel a little too often. With 4GB of internal memory, you could store more than 1 000 books in the footprint of one. The Kindle Paperwhite also lasts well over a week on a single charge, which means that you can catch up on your latest novels on the plane, on the beach or in the car without worrying about battery life. R1 999, GeeWiz.

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GET OFF THAT COUCH While we love a good game at Gearburn, keeping fit is also important, even more so during the holidays. That's where the Jawbone UP2 comes into play. As a fitness tracker that looks more like a fashion band, the UP2 tracks sleep and minutes active, and reports back to a smartphone. Users can gauge how fit they are and adjust their habits accordingly. Jawbone also sends the occasional motivational message to help get your feet a-walkin'. R1 599, Superbalist.

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ACTION SATISFACTION Reading is one thing, but what if you wanted a little bit more action this holiday? The Xbox One is our console of choice. The new 1TB version allows you to store more games than ever before and, if you don't feel like playing games, the console can be used as a streaming box as well. Catch up on those series from the comfort of your bed. R5 999, Takealot.

BUILDING BOREDOM A sweet toy for kids young and old, the Meccano Tower Crane allows you to explore the heights of your imagination as you combine the world of real engineering with giant crane technology. This model crane is 90cm tall with a boom arm of 93cm, and features three motors for the lift, 360° rotation and LED lights. The boom arm features a rolling trolley and can lift up to 450g. Designed for the ultimate collector, this set includes 1 741 parts, two real tools and step-by-step instructions. R4 999, Hamleys.

FIND YOUR CAUSE Forgood is an online platform that aims to make social outreach easier and more effective. Forgood will help you connect with a cause that needs something: a donation of time or goods. You can choose causes that interest you or focus on those in your area. Alternately, you can register your cause on the site (for free), explaining the sort of assistance you require. It kind of applies the same principles of online dating to outreach, and that’s enough to warm anyone’s heart. forgood.co.za.

TIMING IS EVERYTHING

pictures: supplied

GAMING ON THE RUN If you still want to game but are always on the run, the Nintendo 3DS is the hand-held console for you. Loaded with Nintendo's innovative 3D technology, the 3DS is perfect for the kids – and you. And if you do happen to get sick of the games installed, you can purchase new titles and download them directly from the console. R2 499, Takealot.

While we all love to get away from work, sometimes you just have to keep in touch. The Sony Smartwatch 3 will allow you to receive notifications, even if your phone is tucked away in your bag. It's a great style accessory too, with an interchangeable wristband and large watch face. It’s also waterproof, so you can even use it in the pool. Brilliant! R2 584, Orange Store.

For more insightful gadget and gaming news, check out gearburn.com.

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Nataniël shines bright like the star that he is

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in the Tlale David Tlale has been taking African-fashion inspiration to the catwalks of the world. Nataniël measures up.

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FASHION DESIGNER | CHAT

Nataniël: David Tlale, hello! I haven’t seen you in more than a year. How have you been? David Tlale: I am very well. I see you’ve been busy. My friends go to your shows, but I’ve never been invited. N: I invite nobody, because I cannot stand it when somebody forces me to sit through one of their shows! But last week I did a photoshoot with many of your clothes. I loved them all! Your style is very international, so what influences you? Do you have that obsession about heritage that many designers have? DT: It’s about a global appeal. You don’t have to shove the fact that you’re from Africa down everybody’s throats. We have to say: this is what we are. For example, we are very bold with colours, on men and women, and this is what we do. There is nothing wrong with something being made in South Africa, but if you see it in New York or anywhere, it should not be in a grey area. The quality and the way it has been made should be perfect. N: Do you make clothes yourself or do you just design? DT: I can make clothes. I studied for four years, and I can make patterns and I can cut, but obviously I now have a team. People who can only design don’t know the outcome. You have to understand the fabric, how everything works, how the accessories need to look. N: How old were you when you knew that this was your calling? DT: I was 20. I had been studying auditing for eight months and I couldn’t take it any more, I knew it wasn’t for me. I bumped into students with very creative clothes and they told me they

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were studying fashion and invited me to their class. The moment I walked in, I knew that was what I wanted to do. Subconsciously it had always been there. I come from an artistic family, and I had an uncle who was a real metrosexual; the way he dressed also influenced me. N: How did your international break come about? DT: In 2007 I was one of four African designers chosen to be part of Fashion Week in Paris. And in 2009 I won along with a Nigerian designer at African Fashion Week. We showcased as a group, but I wanted to stand alone. In 2012 I became a solo designer at New York Fashion Week – it was a long process. Now we’ve done six seasons so far. They check every little detail before you can come back, and I’ve been welcomed back every season. N: What is your favourite part of your job? Retail? Runway shows? Private clients? DT: I love the private clients. You can make all kinds of different things, but nothing beats a happy client who keeps coming back. The runway is nice, but after a while you think, how many times can a model walk up and down? N: What comes first, the design or the fabric?

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‘THE GREATEST CHALLENGE IS TO BE CREATIVE AND ALSO A BUSINESSMAN, TO BUILD A BRAND AND HAVE GREAT CLIENT RELATIONSHIPS’ DT: It varies. Sometimes the fabric, sometimes the pattern draping, sometimes the sketch, sometimes the trims and treatments. N: How do you make sure you don’t use the same fabric as other designers? DT: We import most of our fabrics. And most of our prints we develop in house.

N: What is the hardest part? What do you dislike? DT: There is nothing I dislike, but the greatest challenge is to be creative and also a businessman, to build a brand and have great client relationships. N: What do you wear? DT: I wear black every day. N: Me too, me too!

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‘MEN ARE MORE VOCAL IN THEIR DRESS CODE: WE HAVE FREEDOM AND NOBODY CARES’

DT: I make 90% of my own clothes, but I buy jeans and lots of shoes. N: I know people who live in Europe who come to SA just to dress up. People in France stare at me when I think I’m looking my most ordinary. I see more and more acceptance in SA, and also more and more people who dress wildly. Why do you think this is possible? DT: We have such vast diversity in

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culture and heritage and everything else. Men are more vocal in their dress code: we have freedom and nobody cares. And we put colours together not because of fashion or colour blocking, but because that is what we do. We have so many influences, both local and international. N: There is no real fame in SA; people know who you are or they don’t. But we have very few real celebrities, although many think they are. Is that

okay with you or would you like a true star system? DT: It would be really nice, but we do not have it because of the way we were raised. It would be great! N: Who runs your business and your personal life? DT: I run everything myself. I know what is best for me, and I’m handson. I do get advice, but I have a clean vision. It takes a long time – we’ve been building our brand for 13 years now. N: There are people who think it is extravagant that I have a personal chef. What is your greatest or most joyful extravagance? DT: There is nothing extravagant about getting help; you need to focus on your career. I don’t spend much money on myself. My most extravagant thing is my shows – I put on really extravagant shows. N: Do you have an active family life? Big family? Close family? DT: We are a very close family. I have a single mother, two elder sisters and a younger brother. I believe in the power of family. N: What are your plans for this upcoming holiday season? DT: I will be working in New York over this December. N: Do you cook? Do you entertain? DT: I can cook and entertain a lot. I hate going out; I love my space. N: So where can people find you? Shop? Showroom? Website? DT: We have a studio at 289 Fox Street in Jo’burg and a David Tlale shop at Michelangelo Towers. The website is davidtlale.com. We’re also on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. N: Thank you so much for chatting with me. Look after yourself. DT: Thanks honey, bye-bye.

pictures: eugon mcneill, supplied

CHAT | FASHION DESIGNER

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DIY QUEEN | CHAT

Doing it

herself

She became a YouTube sensation by making DIY fun and funny, and now Suzelle DIY is taking her brand even further. Nataniël holds the spirit level…

Nataniël: Hi Suzelle, it’s so nice to talk to you, but I don’t really know how to do this: I’m not technical, I can’t type fast and I don’t know how to record, so I’m going to write with a pencil in a book like in 1812. Suzelle DIY: You can do it, Nataniël, you can do it! I am excited. N: From where I am watching, you had a fantastic year – your career and business just exploded. What will you always remember about 2015? SD: I think the big thing for me is the book, SuzelleDIY: The Book. What a learning experience and what a jol! It was such hard work. And a highlight was meeting you, did you know that? N: Thank you, I didn’t even think you would know who I was! About the

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book: a great part of your success or appeal is not what you do, but the way you do it, the way you talk, the way you handle things. How did you translate that into the book? SD: It was hard to, because I wanted the book to feel like my personality. I have a bubbly personality! I wanted the book to feel like my videos, the same look and the same vibrant colours. The hardest part was coming up with enough ideas, ones that were not in my videos. N: How does the internet-sensation thing work? I can do 200 sold-out concerts a year, but when I put something on YouTube, 11 people look at it. How do you do this? SD: What I have learned, Nataniël, and take notes, is that my videos are funny,

but they are also informative. And they are short, about two minutes, so people can just click and have a laugh. And they must want to share it. How to drill a hole without making a mess – that was my first video, not many people saw it, but I was having fun and I made more, and each time it grew a little. It became really big with the 10th video, the one about the braai. People love me, and they love a braai! N: Do you know that the world is in chaos, and that there are problems in our country, and that people are nervous and unhappy? How do you deal with tension and negativity? SD: That is a very creative question. I do know what is going on in the world. But I’m all about bringing things back to the basics. DIY is creative. It’s about

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DIY QUEEN | CHAT

‘I LOVE TO DANCE, RUN AROUND SHOPS AND GO FOR WALKS WITH MARIANNE AND HER DOG, BAKKIES’

making things with your hands. It is about the beauty in everyday things. Don’t sweat it. I do recycling, I do care. But I won’t let it weigh me down. N: When you have an idea or a plan or a worry, who do you talk to first? SD: My best friend, Marianne. I have a notebook so I write everything down. And I have a flip file. N: When you and I did that Checkers ad, that shoot went on for 12 hours, and it was freezing, but you were a real trooper: you never complained or lost your patience and I was very impressed. And it struck me that you are a much more private and quiet person than I would have expected.

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Do you have a shy side or was it just the cold? SD: I have a little bit of shyness. Most of the time I’m an extrovert, but that ad felt like a real job. And it was strange shooting the whole night in that big shop. I was very tired. N: I’m tired most of the time, which

brings me to health. What is your personal diet or lifestyle? Can you eat anything you like? Do you care about health? Do you exercise? SD: I care about my health. I love a lot of veggies; everybody should eat lots of veggies! I don’t really exercise a lot because I don’t like it. But I love to dance, run around shops and go for walks with Marianne and her dog, Bakkies, whom I don’t like very much. N: Your hair and make-up are always perfect, and your clothes are always perfect and true to your style. Do you own casual clothes? Do you have a holiday or casual wardrobe? Does the hair ever come down in public?

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SD: Of course I let my hair down, but only at night when I go to sleep. In the morning it is up again. I have nice pyjama pants and a pair of tracksuit pants, but I like to be glammed up most of the time – it makes me feel confident. N: Is your house perfect? Do you fix everything yourself? SD: I do try to fix everything myself, but I don’t like plumbing and I don’t like pipes. I am a very organised person; a mess is unacceptable. N: What do you look forward to the most over the holiday season? SD: Definitely spending time in the garden, the good weather, having a braai, entertaining friends, parties, swimming parties. I’m not the best swimmer, but I like splashing around joyously in the pool. N: And what do you dread the most about the holiday season? SD: I live in Somerset West, a beautiful place, and I don’t like the traffic and all the people coming here. The crowds – I don’t like the crowds. N: What is your best advice for people to survive the holiday season? And your tips for foolproof entertaining? SD: Plan everything in advance. Make a little list. See to it that when the guests arrive, you can also enjoy the party. Entertain outside, have a braai! N: Does Suzelle have a cause or a passion or a mission that she plans to take into the world? SD: Empowering women and girls. Next year I plan to do a lot about that. Suzelle’s message is: anybody can. Go for it! And seize the day! I also care a lot about creativity and the arts. N: Listen, I loved talking to you, I hope we’ll see each other soon! SD: You are a legend, lots of love!

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‘PLAN EVERYTHING IN ADVANCE. MAKE A LITTLE LIST. SEE TO IT THAT WHEN THE GUESTS ARRIVE, YOU CAN ALSO ENJOY THE PARTY’

pictures: ari kruger, adriaan oosthuizen, fantastic mr will

CHAT | DIY QUEEN

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LOCAL HERO | GIVING BACK

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that keep on giving

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GIVING BACK | LOCAL HERO

For most mere mortals, the meaning of Christmas often gets lost amid tinsel-draped shop window displays. But while we’ve been shopping up a storm, some organisations have been working tirelessly to bring true Christmas cheer to those in need. Delia du Toit tracks down Santa’s most worthy elves. SANTA SHOEBOX PROJECT Going through the photos on the Santa Shoebox website is like a head vacation. Happy little faces light up every picture, and the world’s dark corners seem to recede a little. This project, founded in 2006, distributed colourfully wrapped shoeboxes, filled with gifts, to almost 110 000 kids in orphanages, children’s homes and care centres across the country and Namibia last year. After starting out with only 180 beneficiaries in the first year, the project has grown tremendously. Over the past nine years,

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nearly half-a-million shoeboxes have placed a smile on as many young faces. This year, the goal is to go beyond the shoebox drive by making positive changes in the lives of these children – for good. Ponchos are already being distributed to children who live in rural, high-winterrainfall areas, and future plans include lap desks and solar lanterns. The newly established Legacy Fund, in partnership with the South African Red Cross Society, will also train caregivers at children’s facilities, ‘Our focus this year is really about “giving for good”,’ says Irené Pieters, the project’s national co-ordinator.

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‘THROUGH OUR ORPHAN MANAGEMENT SYSTEM WE HAVE FOUND THE POOREST OF THE POOR AND ARE ABLE TO HELP THEM’ ‘We want to do good by giving top-quality gift boxes to deserving children – some of whom have never received a gift at Christmas time before. And through our pipeline projects and Legacy Fund, we can really make a sustainable difference in the lives of children, especially those living in desolate rural communities.’ As of last year, donors also have the option of donating a virtual shoebox, which will be filled by the project’s volunteers, giving those living abroad the opportunity to get involved too. Pick n Pay has also introduced an online shopping option for those who wish to donate a completed box, while Pep provides generous financial backing that covers 85% of the project’s operational costs. Get involved: Register online at santashoebox.org.za to become a shoebox donor or to make a financial

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contribution. Gift boxes have to be filled according to the guidelines provided on the Santa Shoebox website, and must include practical necessities such as toothpaste, soap and school supplies.

IZULU ORPHAN PROJECTS What started as a Christmas party for one orphanage and its 80 children in 2002 has grown into an organisation that today takes care of 2 435 orphans and widows in 737 households in KwaZulu-Natal on a permanent basis. ‘I met my husband, Chadd, after a mutual friend introduced us,’ says cofounder Kate Bain. ‘I was a volunteer at charities helping orphans and he was trying to help an orphanage in the area he worked. It was over Christmas time, so I suggested that we have a Christmas party for them, and sent an email out to

my entire email address list. That was the beginning of Izulu Orphan Projects and our relationship.’ Tragically, Chadd died in a car accident in 2009, but Izulu’s amazing work continues. ‘When we started this work, there were no antiretrovirals and there were so many people dying,’ says Kate. ‘Our numbers increased dramatically in the first few years. Through our orphan management system, used to assess and categorise families by individual need, we have found the poorest of the poor and are able to help them.’ Izulu operates a learning centre that teaches English, computer and life skills, and supports learners during school holidays and by helping with homework. They also train teachers, mentor crèches, supply school uniforms and educational toys, and help with paying school fees.

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LOCAL HERO | GIVING BACK

In these communities, the organisation also runs feeding schemes, builds houses, teaches skills such as gardening and sewing, and provides social and church services as well as a safe house. The highlight of their annual calendar is still the Christmas party, says Kate. This year, the party will be held for 1 800 beneficiaries. ‘The children who come to us for help have hopeless lives,’ explains Kate, ‘but as we love them and work with them, we get to witness them coming alive with imagination and hope for the future. This fuels our passion to reach more and more abandoned children.’ Get involved: Izulu needs many volunteers on the day of the Christmas party, 12 December. Transport, portable toilets, gifts, food and financial donations are also necessary. Check out izuluorphanprojects.co.za or email kate@izuluorphanprojects.co.za to get involved.

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SAVE FOUNDATION Last year, Save Foundation turned almost the whole of December into a Christmas celebration for the children living in and around Table View, Cape Town. First, six township preschools were given a party on their last day of school. Then, Santa was driven around rural areas, where farmworkers’ children each received a special visit and a gift. And, for the cherry on top, a grand celebration was held for children living in four settlements near a dump site just outside the suburb. More than 1 000 youngsters in total were left smiling from ear to ear. ‘When we started the project in 2011, we reached around 200 children,’ says Carla Ferreira, founder of the foundation. ‘But with the help of sponsors and volunteers, we’ve managed to bring joy to more kids every year – children who have never received brand-new toys, let alone own their own toothbrush.’

Though these projects grow every year, the foundation’s main focus – education assistance – has a long-term impact. ‘The majority of children living in extreme poverty do not complete high school because they simply face too many challenges ever to keep up,’ she says. ‘By improving access to education at preschool level, the children in our programmes learn the fundamentals for a successful academic future. We also teach primary-school-level maths and provide access to technology these children don’t otherwise have.’ In their adventure programme, Grade 6 learners are given swimming lessons, after which they can learn to surf. ‘Seeing our surf project children competing in national surf competitions, when they couldn’t even swim two years before, is one of the most rewarding parts of this job,’ says Carla. ‘I get goose bumps just thinking about it!’

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GIVING BACK | LOCAL HERO

This year, in addition to the Christmas parties, the organisation hopes to raise R150 per family for a full Christmas lunch hamper, which they can cook on Christmas day itself. Get involved: Donate funds for the parties or contact the foundation if you would like to purchase your own gift for a child: savefoundation.org.za or email sergio@savefoundation.org.za. The foundation also needs funds on a regular basis for school supplies and to save up for a bus.

947 CHRISTMAS WISH LIST When Jo’burg-based radio station 947 (formerly 94.7 Highveld Stereo) was inundated with requests for assistance

from listeners, they launched a campaign to encourage others to make a difference to those in their communities. The overwhelming response led to the creation of its now-renowned Christmas Wish List in the early 2000s. Over the years, they’ve built houses, organised life-saving operations, and gifted grocery sponsorships to those in need – to name but a few successes. ‘By creating a campaign that focused on facilitating these requests, we were able not only to make a difference, but to also tell heart-warming stories, which we believe made it so popular,’ says station manager Ravi Naidoo. ‘We knew there was an overwhelming need, and so weren’t surprised by all the

requests for help. We were, however, surprised by the generosity of our listeners who not only opened their hearts to the stories, but followed up with offers to support and assist with many of the wishes.’ Wishes are selected based on the spirit of the recipient, and selecting them is incredibly challenging. ‘We receive thousands of wishes each time we run the campaign and can only grant a handful,’ says Ravi, ‘so we select individuals who are fighters, who have already shown remarkable courage and strength to try to get their lives on track, but need a hand up – not a hand-out. The stories resonate with listeners because we can all identify with them. They’re stories of parents

HOW YOU CAN HELP If you’d like to make a difference in your own community, there are a number of ways you can help those in need. These suggestions from The Salvation Army are great ways of spreading Christmas cheer: • Visit older people in your area who are housebound and lonely at Christmas or pop in at a local old-age home, just to spend time with them.

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• Hold Christmas lunches for people who would otherwise be spending Christmas alone. • Take a container of hot food, a sleeping bag and a small, practical Christmas gift to homeless people in your area. • Collect toys from friends and neighbours and drop them off at a local orphanage or with disadvantaged families.

• Take Christmas care parcels to prisoners and their families as a message of hope and goodwill. • Spread the joy of Christmas at hospitals and old-age homes by reading books to those in need or dropping off small gifts. • Deliver Christmas parcels of food and presents to the frail and elderly and others in need.

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LOCAL HERO | GIVING BACK

‘WITHOUT ADVERTISING AT ALL, THERE ARE THOUSANDS OF CHILDREN WHO FLOCK TO THE EVENT’ wanting the best for their children and individuals who have fought disease or disability, and we all know someone who has fought those battles. They touch our humanity, and remind us that we could easily be in these situations too.’ Though there’s still a festive season run of wishes, the programme has now been renamed ‘947 Makes a Plan’, in order to grant wishes throughout the year. Get involved: Stay tuned to 947 in Gauteng, or follow @947 on Twitter or 947 on Facebook to stay updated on the latest wishes to see if you can assist.

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At Shiloh, which operates in various communities in the Northern Suburbs of the Western Cape, Christmas is by far the most important date on the calendar. Though they operate preschools and provide resources and training throughout the year in areas such as Wallacedene, Bloekombos and Klipheuwel, the children they help are always most excited about the annual party. ‘Because we know how important it is to the kids, we want to make it as special as we can,’ says Estelle Veldman, public relations manager. ‘When you experience the grip of poverty every day, a Christmas celebration is an absolute highlight. Without advertising at all, there are thousands of children who flock to the event every year. And in the process, we help bring excitement and dignity to them, and we realise the true meaning of Christmas.’ Last year, they distributed more than 5 000 Christmas parcels with food, toys and school supplies to children from these communities. ‘Every year we think that the previous event was the best yet, but every year we are more in awe of how people open their hearts and wallets to the cause,’ says Estelle. ‘To make this a success, we need about 200 volunteers, who end up having almost more fun than the kids. It’s truly a way of bringing hope and building bridges.’ But Shiloh’s commitment doesn’t end there. Up to 60 000 meals leave the Shiloh kitchens every month to feed those in need, and they also provide hospital beds to terminally ill patients and school uniforms to kids in need on a regular basis. This year, they once again plan to distribute more than 5 000 Christmas parcels in collaboration with local primary schools. The kids can look forward to a pack containing fruit, sweets, toys, stationery and a school lunchbox for 2016.

Get involved: Contact Shiloh’s offices at 021 981 8241 to volunteer your time or to make a donation that will be used for the Christmas parcels and/ or other projects. Details available at shiloh.org.za.

CORPORATE CARE These are the companies that have given back the most this past year, according to the FTSE/JSE Responsible Investment Top 30 Index. AECI Anglo American Anglo American Platinum AngloGold Ashanti Barclays Africa Group Ltd BHP Billiton British American Tobacco PLC Compagnie Financière Richemont AG FirstRand Limited Grindrod Impala Platinum Holdings Intu Properties Plc Investec JSE Kumba Iron Ore Life Healthcare Group Holdings Mediclinic International Mondi Mr Price Group Nedbank Group Northam Platinum Pick n Pay Stores Royal Bafokeng Platinum SABMiller Sanlam Sappi Sasol Sibanye Gold Standard Bank Group Woolworths Holdings

pictures: supplied

SHILOH SYNERGY

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At Steyn City we’ve already delivered • Over 125 000 indigenous trees planted • Wetland & riverbank rehabilitation • 60 km MTB Singletrack • 9 km Boulevards • 9 outdoor gym stations • 11.3 km Road cycle path • Over 700 000 m² of landscaped areas in phase 1 • 182km of irrigation piping • 32 landscape bridges • Outdoor Urbanix (imported) gym circuit between the trees on different platforms with a yoga Pilates station overlooking the Jukskei River • 4 parks including; Signature skate park, Play areas with state of the art play equipment, Picnic areas, one of the largest enclosed sandpits of 500 m² • 2.8 km of creeks and 22 Dams • 3 sport fields …Oh, and we built another incredible Nicklaus Design course. Golf Data, for all your outdoor design, construction, maintenance and landscaping needs.

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WORLD AIDS DAY | LOCAL HERO

health campaigns marked by the World Health Organisation (WHO), alongside World Health Day, World Blood Donor Day, World Immunisation Week, World Tuberculosis Day, World No Tobacco Day, World Malaria Day and World Hepatitis Day. There are multiannual themes declared for World AIDS Day by the WHO, to help focus on specific areas in such a wide-ranging and challenging battle. Between 2005 and 2010, the theme was ‘Stop AIDS, keep the promise’, from 2011-2015, it is ‘Getting to zero: zero new HIV infections. Zero deaths from AIDS-related illness. Zero discrimination’.

A day of

AS IT STANDS

reckoning

With World AIDS Day celebrated on the 1st of this month, Trevor Crighton surveys where we stand with the disease – and where we’re heading.

ou can laugh about International Cupcake Day, Star Wars Day or Global Lemur Awareness Day. There’s a day for every triviality and flavoured-milk-based beverage, but few of them mark awareness of any real causes. That’s not the case with World AIDS Day (1 December,

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worldwide), which unites people across the globe like few others. It started on 1 December 1988 and introduced the world to the red ribbon, the global symbol of solidarity for HIV-positive people and those living with AIDS. World AIDS Day is now one of only eight official, global, public-

The WHO estimates that, as of 2013, AIDS had killed more than 36-million people worldwide and that there are currently more than 35-million people living with HIV, clearly making the virus and disease two of the most important global public-health issues in recorded history. Despite the awareness raised and the relative ease with which people can access ARVs (antiretroviral treatment), AIDS claims the lives of an estimated 2-million people each year – 270 000 of them children. South Africa has the highest prevalence of HIV/AIDS infection in the world: around 1 000 South Africans are infected each day, according to 2014 statistics, and more than 71% of the people in the world living with HIV are from sub-Saharan Africa.

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LOCAL HERO | WORLD AIDS DAY

MANY LOCAL SCIENTIFIC RESOURCES ARE BEING DEVOTED TO THE FIGHT AGAINST HIV/AIDS LEADING THE BATTLE With the issue so prevalent in our part of the world, it’s really no surprise that many local scientific resources are being devoted to the fight against HIV/AIDS, with a breakthrough coming last year on home soil after nearly a decade of research. Professor Lynn Morris, head of the National Health Laboratory Services’ National Institute for Communicable

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Diseases (NICD) AIDS Research, and Dr Penny Moore, senior scientist in the NICD’s Centre for HIV and Sexually Transmitted Infections, were pivotal in the discovery, by the Centre for the AIDS Programme of Research in South Africa, of a weakness in the human immunodeficiency virus that enables some people to produce antibodies which are able to kill up to 88% of strains of the virus.

The discovery illustrated that glycan, a type of sugar found on the ‘protein coat’ of the virus, forms a site of vulnerability, enabling the body to ‘mount a broadly neutralising antibody response’. The body’s immune reaction forces the virus to cover itself with this sugar, which actually creates the weak spot that could be targeted by vaccines. The identification of this weak spot is particularly important

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WORLD AIDS DAY | LOCAL HERO

GET TESTED

There are many places that provide private and confidential testing for HIV, both in the public and private sector. For free or inexpensive testing, you could visit: • • • • •

Doctors’ rooms Hospitals Community health centres Family-planning clinics Sexually transmitted disease clinics • Laboratories It is important that no matter where you are tested, you have access to HIV and AIDS counselling, regardless of the result. Counsellors can answer questions you may have about your results or your sexual activity and safety. Home tests are also available, but professional feedback is best to ensure you understand your result properly.

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in targeting HIV, because its rapidly mutating genome means it is able to evade ‘attacks’ from treatments, as it is able to rapidly change its appearance, meaning that antibodies that could have been successful are unable to recognise it and take effect.

THE LONG ROAD Lynn warns that the process of developing a vaccine is a long one, but that this research has brought the

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world a step closer to doing so. ‘This information will certainly guide vaccine development,’ she says, ‘but making a vaccine still has many challenges and it’s difficult to predict how long that’s going to take. ‘One of the other things we’re doing with this research is that we’re going to use these antibodies as “passive immunisation”. Because we’ve been able to clone out these antibodies, what we’ve been able to do is mass-

produce them in the laboratory. We can then passively infuse them into HIV-negative people and check to see if they really do provide protection. That’s a really important experiment to do, because it’ll tell us if these are the kind of antibodies that we want a vaccine to induce.’ Testing in monkeys were the first step, over a roughly two-year period, with ‘safe’ testing on humans on the horizon, pending initial successes. ‘The next step will be testing in people with a high risk of acquiring HIV,’ concludes Lynn. ‘That’s about a five-year programme, and safety is our major concern.’

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Beach

please!

A couple of eager surfers are reviving the surfing culture in the Eastern Cape. Gabbi Rego tries to stand up.

onubie, a seaside town in Buffalo City in the Eastern Cape, is a hidden gem with one of the most beautiful bays you’re likely to come across on the South African coastline. With a 1km boardwalk that runs across the foot of the dunes and a river with vertical rock faces and subtropical vegetation, you’ll be forgiven if you forgot to snap a selfie.

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The bay is sheltered from most strong winds, making every day a beach day, and it’s idyllic for surfing. Back in the day, Gonubie Beach used to have a thriving surf culture, where a tightknit community of surfers would spend all day at the beach, learning from each other and appreciating the beauty of the bay. That culture has somewhat fizzled over the

years, but there’s a big change rolling in on the tides. That change is Salty Hour.

IN THE BEGINNING Salty Hour was founded by Jono Bruton – East London resident, surfer and founder of lifestyle brand Dead Reckoning – and Tyrell Johnson, Dead Reckoning brand ambassador. It all started informally with

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SALTY HOUR | LOCAL HERO

‘PARENTS ARE BLOWN AWAY BY THEIR KIDS ACTUALLY WANTING TO PUT DOWN THE XBOX CONTROLLER TO HEAD OUTDOORS AND SURF’

a complete stranger contacting Jono to ask for his tips on surfing. ‘He said he’d gotten my number from a friend,’ explains Jono. ‘I told him to meet me at Gonubie Beach at 4pm on Saturday and I would go surf with him and see where I could assist. He’d been trying to surf for three months and had never been able to stand and ride a wave. After half

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an hour with him in the water, he rode his first wave. There were tears of joy. He literally cried. At that point I realised how important something like riding a wave could be to someone. I then actively began to let the general public in and around Gonubie know that we would be at the beach every Saturday from 4-5pm to offer surfing help.’

From there, the proverbial snowball started to roll. ‘Three Saturdays later we had more than 120 people descending upon Gonubie beach to partake in Salty Hour,’ says Jono. ‘Parents are blown away by their kids actually wanting to put down the Xbox controller to head outdoors and surf. Our youngest surfer is three years old and the eldest is 58.’

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LOCAL HERO | SALTY HOUR

Jono grew up 100m away from Gonubie beach and started surfing at the age of six. After his first time on the board, he was hooked. Everything after that day became about the sport in one way or another. Tyrell is also not new to the scene – he’s one of SA’s top surfers and competes across the world. Both have their national colours in the sport, have represented South Africa at world championships, and have earned multiple national titles over the years. Those joining in on a Salty Hour session can rest assured that their lessons are coming from well-versed surfers. However, just because these guys are pros doesn’t mean they’re turning teaching into a business. In fact, participating in Salty Hour is 100% free. ‘We don’t want anything but smiles from those who decide to attend,’ says Jono. That’s great news for those who’ve always wanted to try their hand at surfing, but have been put off by how expensive it can be for something they might not even enjoy.

THE COSTS For those who are noobs to the surfing scene, a beginner surfboard costs approximately R2 500, and that’s for bottom of the range. That said, Salty Hour has been fortunate to have secured

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sponsored surfboards from businesses across the country, their biggest sponsor being a JSE-listed company called Purple Group. ‘We rely on these corporates to assist in the purchasing of the equipment as Salty Hour is a 100%-free initiative,’ says Jono. ‘There is no source of income to aid the growth or expansion financially, and we quickly found ourselves with too many surfers and too little surfboards. In return for the sponsorship we brand the boards with the sponsors’ logos.’ The surfboards are made of foam, making them much safer options than

JONO’S TOP TIPS FOR NEWBIE SURFERS • Learn about the ocean before you step foot in it. Learn about the currents at the specific beach you are at, and how to avoid them. Speak to a lifeguard on duty and ask them to keep an eye on you. They will respect you for this. • If you are swept out to sea by a current, never try to paddle against the current and never discard your surfboard to try and swim back. The surfboard is the only thing that will keep you afloat once you are tired and cannot swim any further, and when the current eventually comes to an end.

• Respect other surfers, swimmers and, most importantly, the lifeguards. You never know when one of them might have to pull you out of the water and save your life when things go wrong. • The ocean is constantly changing. The waves change in size, currents shift and things can get hairy pretty quickly. Always be aware of your surroundings. If you feel uncomfortable where you are, that’s your mind telling you to move closer to shore or go in. • Always wear a strong waterresistant sunblock.

pictures: supplied

THE PROS

your conventional fibreglass and resin boards – particularly for beginners. This means fewer injuries and more confident beginners. The kick-start of Salty Hour has marked a return of beach culture in Gonubie, and has strengthened camaraderie among the surfers in the region. ‘It’s good to do things together other than just surf and chat in the car park,’ adds Jono. ‘Surfers now feel that they are contributing towards a lifestyle that has given them so much.’ And he’s right. When people with a passion find a way to give back and pay it forward, magic is bound to happen. And what better place to start than at Gonubie beach? Salty Hour takes place every Saturday from 4-5pm at Gonubie Beach, and is open to anyone who wants to join in, be it first-time surfers, young and old or more experienced wave riders. For more on the initiative, check out Salty Hour on Facebook, follow @jonobruton on Twitter and @salty_hour on Instagram.

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MNAT5572 2015-11-11T16:04:56+02:00

Shop online! makro.co.za Shopping convenience at your fingertips! Quick and easy…

Valid from Tuesday 1 December to Thursday 31 December 2015 All prices in South African Rands.

I TRAVEL Travel Bags Ranging from

395 to 995

JUNGLE BEAT 3 Piece Combo

Includes : 1 backpack, 1 lunch box and pencil case (304363; 304364; 304365; 304376)

WAS 399

299

per combo

1 49/2015 Makro DTP ATH A4 Valid from: 01/12/2015 - 31/12/2015

NOW

Prism Travel Bags Ranging from

199 to 995

Get your own Makro card today! Simply apply online @ www.makro.co.za, call 0860 300 999, sms “makro card” to 31144 or visit your nearest Makro store.

Everything you could ever want. And more. For less. MakroSA

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Unless we state a specific limitation, Makro will attempt to have sufficient advertised stock available to meet consumers’ anticipated demands. If we still run out of stock, we will attempt to obtain the stock or we will offer you a reasonable alternative. In an attempt to satisfy the demand of the majority of customers, limited quantities per customer might apply. Makro takes utmost care to ensure that all advertisements are correct. If a mistake occurs or incomplete information is printed, we will display a notice in-store with all the correct details. Prices exclude accessories used for display purposes and include 14% VAT. Makro Account Disclaimer *Includes interest @ 23.20% p.a, excludes service fees & compulsory insurance. ** Includes interest @ 23.20% p.a, service fees & compulsory insurance. All prices are indicative and actual repayments may vary based on account activity. NCRCP 38/FSP 44481.

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Getting to your destination has never been easier. Gautrain will help you plan your route, assist you with bus and shuttle services as well as assist you with calculating the time and cost of visiting your destination. Finding an event, place or attraction to attend or visit makes travelling a comfortable and enjoyable experience. Log onto www.gautrain.co.za for more information.

Shuttle Services Available. • From Marlboro to Linbro Park and Woodlands in Woodmead. • Weekend Shuttle to Montecasino from Sandton Station.

Gauteng (Sesotho for "place of gold") is South Africa's smallest province (17 000 square kilometres) and it includes most of the towns strung east to west along the gold reef, from Springs in the far East Rand to Randfontein in the west. It runs down to the Vaal River in the South, and just beyond South Africa's capital, Pretoria, in the north. For more information visit Gauteng Tourism Authority www.gauteng.net

S B

Montecasino Palazzo Circle Shuttle Service on Public Holidays

Design Quarter

Lili

Epsom Downs Parc Nicol Nicolway Grosvenor Crossing Bryanston Centre Bryanston Crescent Pick n Pay on Nicol

Consumer Goods Council

Rosebank Station Bus Routes RB5: Killarney RB2: Melrose RB3: Illovo RB4: Hyde Park

Emirates Stadium is situated in Johannesburg.

Charlotte Maxeke Johannesburg Academic Hospital Parktown

A valid Gold Card is required to board a Gautrain bus. This can be purchased at the stations and at selected retail outlets. Download the Gautrain App to plan your trip accordingly. • For detailed and accurate bus route maps enquire at the stations or visit the website. • Bus tickets cannot be purchased on the buses. • To find out where a bus is, please dial 010 223 1098.

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Joburg Theatre Complex

First National Bank

Reef Hotel

Thrupps Centre

Hyde Park Illovo Blvd

Benm Shopp Cent

Sinoste

N MI

San Ci

Bidvest Wanderers Stadium Protea Hotel Wanderers Melrose Melrose Place Arch

Dunkeld Centre

ROSEBANK

Killarney Mall

PRASA/M

Boston College Absa Bank

Sand Racq Clu

SANDTON

College of Digital Atholl Photography Oaklands

PARK STATION

Newtown Cultural Precinct Standard Bank Art Gallery

Wits Medical School Rosebank Mall

Sandton Sports Club

MultiChoice Randburg

Summer Place

Hyde Square

Constitution Hill

Nelson Mandela Bridge

SARS Brightwater Commons

Rive P

Departs Park Station. All Day – Every Day. www.citysightseeing.co.za

ETRORA

Park Station Bus Routes J1: Parktown J2: CBD

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Th fr Po 15

SA/

Pretoria Bus Routes P3: Pretoria P4: PTA Unisa - Groenkloof

TRO

State Theatre

National Zoo

RAI

Church Square

Heart Hospital

PRETORIA Voortrekker Monument Private Nature Reserve

Loftus Rugby Stadium

Cherry Lane Shopping University Centre of Pretoria Curves Groenkloof UNISA Brooklyn Campus SABS

Vist www.bluetrain.co.za to find out more.

Harlequins Office Park

n Pay Nicol

ton Club

est erers um

The Freedom Park and the Voortrekker Monument

Visit Auto & General Theatre on the Square at Nelson Mandela Square.

Sandton Racquets Club

Meadowfields Morningside Shopping Centre

Garden Court Toyota Benmore Morningside Shopping Centre Southern Mushroom Farm Park Sun Barlow Park Sinosteel A&G Theatre on the Square Sandton Hilton IDC Grayston TES Protea INU Ridge Hotel 4M Office Park Atholl Square R

TON SAND

The underground tunnel section from Park Station to Marlboro Portal is a total length of 15.5 kilometres.

Sax Arena

LEGEND

MIDRAND

Joburg Water Tower

North-South Commuter East-West Commuter Airport

Rhodesfield Bus Routes RF1: Kempton Park RF2: Emperors Palace

PRASA / Metrorail Woodbridge Square

Cavendish Glen Civic Centre

Glen Balad Mall

Arwyp Medical Centre

Protea Hotel OR Tambo

MUTER

T COM EAST-WES

Monuments / Heritage sites close to routes

Premier Hotel OR Tambo

MARLBORO

POR

Centurion Bus Routes C1: Techno Park C2: Rooihuiskraal C3: Wierda Park C4: Southdowns

Grand Central Airport

AIR

Central Park

Modderfontein Nature Reserve

U MM

Innisfree Park Westford Radisson Blu CO EST Hotel Gautrain Hotel T-W EAS Sandton City

Eco Boulevard

Nandoʼs

Centurion Golf Estate Love More Centre

Wedge

Value World Centurion

River Club Park

Byles Bridge

Eskom Megawatt Park

HATFIELD

Tilbury Business Park

Waterfall Hospital

Woodlands Business Office Park Shuttle Service Sunninghill Hospital Linbro Business Park Shuttle Service

PRASA/M

Hatfield Bus Routes H1: Brooklyn H2: Lynnwood H3: Arcadia H5: Menlyn H6: Queenswood

Tuks Sports St. Maryʼs Campus School Garden CSIR Court World Bank City Lodge Xcelpark Lynnwood Spanish Embassy Checkers Pretoria Menlyn Lynnwood Country Park Club Shopping

Southdowns College Centurion Licensing Services

Protea Hotel

Vodaworld

Unisa SBL Main Entrance African Bank Boulders Shopping Centre Gallagher Convention Centre Town Lodge

Chilli Lane Shopping Centre

Rivonia Boulevard

Spar

RORAIL

AIL

Liliesleaf Rivonia Centre

Morning Glen Mall

Nizamiye Turkish Masjid along the Midrand train route.

Eco Park Estate

Sandton Station Bus Routes S2: Gallo Manor S3: Rivonia S4: Randburg S5: Fourways

Midrand Bus Routes M1: Randjespark M2: Noordwyk M3: Sunninghill

Highveld Shopping Centre

UTES

Waterkloof Airforce Base

Supersport Park

Centurion Lifestyle Centre

Wierdaglen Estate

Queenswood Christian College

Centurion Station

Centurion Lake

CENTURION

Amberfield Estate

lrose rch

Raslouw Value Spar Centre

9 MIN

Vist www.southafrica.net to to arrange transport to one of South Africa’s World Heritage sites, the Cradle of Humankind.

Protea Hotel Waterfront

Momentum

Brooklyn Mall

Little Company of Mary Hospital

ervice lic ys

ston re

Sunnyside Centre University of Pretoria

7 MINUTES 8 MINUTES

Freedom Park

OR Tambo Sheraton Building Hotel Pretoria Technical High Royal Thai Embassy

Louis Pasteur Hospital

Manhattan Hotel City Hall

The Union Buildings have lovely gardens that surrounds the new Nelson Mandela Statue.

Remember to visit Pretoria State Theatre.

3878| iww | ew

PRA

RHODESFIELD

Emperors Palace

AIRPORT S MINUTE N =15 STATIO N TO D N

SA BO TO OR TAM

Emperors Palace

OR TAMBO OR Tambo International Airport, the busiest airport in Africa, forms the centre of a multi-nodal, multifunctional enterprise with major commercial development in Ekurhuleni and is known as South Africa’s Aerotropolis.

Kelvin Power

The first two rail cars are for airport passengers. These cars have wider seats with special areas for baggage storage.

Take Metrorail from Park Station to FNB Stadium.

Download the Gautrain Apps, available on: • App Store • Google Play • App World

SMS “Alert ” to 32693 for service updates Disclaimer: Please note that some of the attractions indicated along the illustrated route map may not be along the route of the Gautrain services. Certain attractions can be seen from the Gautrain but may need other public transport modes to get there. Direct enquiries for more information about places and attractions may be obtained from Gauteng Tourism Authority. The illustrated route map is not to scale. The illustrated information published was last updated on 30 January 2015.

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Wet, wild

and nowhere near the sea

Will Edgcumbe gives his pick of crowd-less, inland holiday spots for those trying to get some real rest.

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INLAND DESTINATIONS | TRAVEL

here’s nothing quite like the beach in summer – you can’t argue with sun, sand and waves. Problem is, there’s also stuff you can argue with – no parking, heatstroke and so many people crowding the sand that if you were to forget to put sunscreen on, all you need to do is walk a few metres and you’ll soon have rubbed against so many people, you’ll be covered in all sorts of sunprotection creams. With seemingly the entire population of South Africa’s landlocked provinces pouring over the escarpment towards the sea, it’s pretty

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savvy to travel in the opposite direction salmonstyle, and head inland for your summer holiday break. And the cool thing is: just because you won’t be heading to the sea, doesn’t mean you can’t have a bit of watery fun. The country’s dams, rivers, lakes and waterfalls mean there are plenty of aquatic pursuits high above sea level, from high-octane pursuits such as jet-skiing to ultra-sedate things such as hanging out in a rowboat and pretending to fish while you actually do nothing more than contemplate your navel.

TAMING THE WHITE WATER The Orange River is pretty amazing – at 2 200km, it cuts a staggering swathe through the country, and along its length you’ll find stretches of languid, flat water as well as seething, boiling rapids. Depending on what you’re into adrenalinewise, a number of operators offer

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VANDERKLOOF DAM, SA’S SECOND-LARGEST DAM, HAS THE HIGHEST WALL IN THE COUNTRY AT 108m guided day and multi-day trips along stretches of the river, allowing you to appreciate the placid beauty of the river and a few hair-raising rapids. Most trips will have you camp on the river banks, sleeping under the stars and eating around bonfires, and don’t require a particularly high level of fitness or even any experience in rafting or kayaking – all you really need is a sense of adventure, sunscreen, lots of drinking water, a hat and comfortable clothes. Umkulu Safari & Canoe Trails offer guided one-day, overnight, four- and six-day river rafting trips, all starting and ending at the Growcery Camp near the tiny border town of Vioolsdrif in the Richtersveld area. It’s a fantastic experience, revealing beautiful scenery, star-studded skies and fascinating plant and animal life. Basically, your Facebook feed might be full of annoying photos of your friends getting bronzed on a beach, but when they see you powerboating on a dam, standing at the foot of a waterfall nearly a kilometre high or cruising down some rapids like a boss, they’re going to feel pretty lame. And if making other people feel lame isn’t one of the

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hallmarks of a great holiday, then I don’t know what is.

PLACES OF THE DAMMED One thing South African engineers have apparently never been afraid to do is dam up rivers. There are dams everywhere. And while they may not have that special appeal that a lake has (and thus, no hippies saluting the sun while intoning, ‘Mother Nature chose this place to store her amniotic fluid!’), anywhere there’s a large body of water there’s going to be fun times. Now there are dams and then there are dams. Gariep Dam is, simply put, massive. It’s the country’s biggest dam, and arguably its most beautiful as well. Set on the border between the Eastern Cape and the Free State, some 50km north-east of Colesberg, the dam has a storage capacity of around 5 340 000 megalitres and a surface area of more than 370km2 when full. The dam wall itself is 88m high and more than 900m long. People often talk of big sky country; Gariep is the aquatic equivalent and, due its sheer size, there are loads of different ways to enjoy it. If you’re into

speed, it’s big and flat enough to bust out your Jet Ski or powerboat and go crazy. You can also take things easy with a sedate sundowner cruise on the water, or do a spot of fishing from a boat or the shore, and there are three nature reserves adjacent to the dam – Oviston Nature Reserve, Tussen-dieRiviere Reserve and the Gariep Nature Reserve – totalling 85 000 hectares. Away from the water, there’s all the usual stuff to do as well, such as hiking, mountain biking and 4x4 tracks, although the area is probably most popular with glider enthusiasts due to the fantastic conditions that allow them to stay in the air for hours on end and travel hundreds of kilometres. About 130km downstream along the Orange River and situated in the Northern Cape is the Vanderkloof Dam, SA’s second-largest dam, and the one with the highest wall in the country at 108m. Despite its size and importance, Vanderkloof Dam not particularly well known, which makes it pretty great if escaping the crowds is what you’re after. Most parts of the dam can’t be reached by car, so you can easily have a large section of water all to yourself.

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TUGELA FALLS CAN BE FOUND IN THE ROYAL NATAL NATIONAL PARK AND PLUNGE OVER THE CLIFFS OF THE FAMOUS AMPHITHEATRE Don’t be a hero, though. You could go a long time without seeing another boat or person on the shore and cellphone reception is spotty, so if you have a problem with your boat, you’ll be very much on your own in a bad way. The town of Vanderkloof is a great place to use as a base, and you can glean some useful tips from the locals about what to do and where – and how to do it safely. Other big dams with lots to offer include the Vaal Dam in Gauteng, Sterkfontein Dam in the Eastern Free State (characterised by its sparkling, blue waters) and Pongolapoort Dam (also somewhat confusingly known as Lake Jozini) in the far north of KwaZulu-Natal. Pongolapoort is flanked by a number of private game reserves, and also happens to be home

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to the southernmost population of tiger fish. Small dams are not to be sniffed at though, with dams and reservoirs dotted around outside most of our cities across the country, usually incorporating a nature reserve of some kind, stocked with fish and basically giving off a chilled vibe. For some reason, there’s nothing like hanging out, on or next to a large body of water to clear the mind, and your local dam probably isn’t all that busy. So even if you’re not trekking across the country on holiday, pack a picnic basket, dust off your old canoe or fishing rod and make a day of it.

OVER THE TOP Loads of rivers and mountainous topography mean there are a fair number of waterfalls all around the

country, but none of them come anywhere near the awesomeness that is Tugela Falls in the Drakensberg. Comprising five distinct falls, Tugela Falls is 948m high and widely accepted to be the second-highest waterfall in the world, after the famous Angel Falls in Venezuela. There’s a dash of controversy here – although that might be too strong a word – as Angel Falls only has a plunge of 807m, but enjoys one uninterrupted drop. Regardless, Tugela Falls is pretty spectacular. The falls can be found in the Royal Natal National Park and plunge over the cliffs of the famous Amphitheatre. Appreciating them from a distance is easy enough, but getting to the falls requires getting sweaty. Two trails lead to the falls: one from ‘The Sentinel’ car park to the top of Mont-Aux-Sources,

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INLAND DESTINATIONS | TRAVEL

THE BEST TIME TO VIEW THE FALLS IS IN SUMMER, WHEN THE RAINS SHOULD HAVE THE FALLS IN FULL FLOW

including access to the summit via two (kind of terrifying) chain ladders; and the second starting at the Royal Natal National Park. Both hikes are well worth the effort, and the best time to view the falls is in summer, when the rains should have the falls in full flow.

pictures: jaco roselt, supplied

LAKA LAKES Somewhat surprisingly, South Africa isn’t endowed with loads of lakes, and even one of the major ones – Lake Fundudzi in Limpopo – formed by accident when an ancient landslide blocked the course of the Mutale River. Lake Fundudzi and the nearby Thathe Vondo Forest are considered sacred to

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the Venda people, and so permission is required from Venda leaders to visit. The lake is fairly boiling with crocodiles, so swimming would be out of the question anyway, but, if nothing else, it can be enjoyed simply by looking at it – the lush surrounds and a view of the lake from one of the surrounding hills are pretty arresting. In the southern Mpumalanga highveld is the sweet little village of Chrissiesmeer, and it’s the centre of what’s often referred to as South Africa’s own Lake District. That may be taking it a little far, as most of the bodies of water that surround Chrissiesmeer are technically pans, but Lake Chrissie

itself, which the village overlooks, is a pretty impressive feature in its own right. Although quite shallow (its maximum depth is about 6m), it has a circumference of around 27km and its wetlands and marshes are home to fantastic and varied populations of frogs (13 species!) and water birds, including the lesser and greater flamingo and all three of South Africa’s crane species, as well as loads of butterflies. There’s also good fishing to be had, with bass and carp the most common species. The lake and surrounding area really are quite fetching, and after dark the star gazing is pretty spectacular. Not particularly far inland – in fact, not far inland at all – but certainly far from crowds, is Lake Sibhayi, also known as Lake Sibaya. It’s part of the iSimangaliso Wetland Park in northern KwaZulu-Natal and is South Africa’s largest freshwater lake – which is somewhat surprising, because its southern reaches are about 500m from the Indian Ocean, separated only by a fantastic, ancient dune. The lake is home to a large population of hippo and crocodiles and can only be reached in a 4x4, and as there aren’t many places to stay nearby save the Mabibi campsite and chalets and one or two swanky lodges, you’ll pretty much have it all to yourself.

DIVE IN(LAND): Vanderkloof Dam: vanderkloofdam.co.za iSimangaliso Wetland Park: isimangaliso.com Royal Natal National Park: kznwildlife.com Umkulu Safari & Canoe Trails: orangeriverrafting.com

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How I learned to stop worrying and survive the

caravan park With the great coastal migration upon us, Dexter Douglas casts his mind back to potjies, failed romance and his initiation into caravanning culture.

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CARAVANNING | TRAVEL

n many respects, South Africa is and always has been a nation defined by divides; it’s a lamentable fact of history and socioeconomics. We can all think of examples, but perhaps none is more striking than the difference between the subset of holiday-makers making their way to Margate and similar coastal destinations each school holiday – caravanners – and every other South African on the road. They’re easy to spot: usually seen in avo-green Ford Cortinas, windows rolled down and, of course, a fully equipped aluminium holiday home trailing their vehicle. That description might seem a little reductive, but it’s perhaps because the most fascinating caravanning culture can be found not in our game reserves, but on the KZN coast at places like Scottburgh, Winkelspruit and Pennington. This I know because for one glorious, educational week I lived among them.

WOONWA JOLS Camping and caravanning in South Africa has a particular flavour: seemingly indiscriminate about the setting as long as there’s a large body of water nearby, and a propensity for bringing every relative on both sides of the family along, as well as the Jack Russell and boerboel. It’s completely different to the rather minor caravanning subcultures you might come across. There isn’t that rugged, ready-for-adventure vibe you see among 4x4 overlanders, who can break camp in five minutes because their four-year-old correctly identified a leopard spoor. There also isn’t that

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CARAVANNING | TRAVEL

entitled loner vibe of the lofty RV driver, who fences off his campsite to keep the rabble out while he enjoys a fine Pinot Noir from his vintage cellar collection. And neither is there that slightly desperate vibe of the students who hitched 400km to a caravan park, realised they forgot to bring the poles for their tent, and actually ran out of money two days before they even left home. What you’ll find, instead, is a real sense of community – like everyone arrived and realised that they’re actually all friends of friends. This can come as a massive culture shock when you’re an extremely shy, portly 16-year-old dude, with no experience of caravanning culture. Throw said teenager into the gaping maw that is Scottburgh Caravan Park one hot December, and he’ll either wilt and spend most of the time hiding in the ablutions block, or assimilate and sprout a downy moustache overnight. Or, as it happens, some combination of the two. I joined my dad, my stepmother and her entire extended family with some apprehension. Would I be ostracised and thrown out? Turns out, I didn’t need to be so dramatic. Not five minutes in and I was introduced to the clan, who welcomed me warmly. Bedded down, I was forced to go native. Life lessons were learnt, romances kindled and just as easily snuffed out, and a window was opened into a world I’d only previously imagined.

POLITICS OF THE PARK One thing you learn very quickly is that beneath all that good cheer and bad tunes pumping from car stereos, there’s a serious hierarchy at play, and caravan

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THE MAIN THING TO REMEMBER IS THAT THERE’S ALWAYS THE BIG DOG

politics need to be navigated astutely if your holiday isn’t to be ruined. The main thing to remember is that there’s always the Big Dog. You’ll know who he is because he has the prime site and the biggest caravan in the park, pulled by a vehicle so big it could burn a hole in the ozone layer all by itself. If Big Dog is your pal, then you’ll be invited to join his clan for a braai every evening and partake of his sacred lamb chops. But if you cross him (i.e. disagree with him, spill his drink or have an unsanctioned make-out session with his

hot teenage daughter), you can be sure he will use his influence to make the rest of the park rise up against you.

SWEET RIDES If there’s one thing that makes the caravan park seem like it’s straight out of the 80s, it’s the cars. When you live on the coast, any car older than 10 years is going to be straining a little bit with rust, and that fresh sea air will continue to hammer it so relentlessly that it eventually becomes somewhat of a convertible. But what about an old

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TRAVEL | CARAVANNING

Ford Escort, Cortina or Mercedes 280S from inland? They’re nothing short of immaculate. The other sweet rides you’ll encounter – and if, like me, you go weak at the knees when you see a big suspension lift – are badass 4x4s. Monster Hiluxes with snorkels, bull bars, knobbly mud-terrain tyres and fog lamps hulk over the tents of their owners, and other than being extremely cool to look at, they serve another vital function: the drivers of these cars are not to be trifled with, especially when they have teenage daughters. Many a strapping young male has disappeared after a romance gone wrong with the daughter of a Hilux driver.

LOVE IS IN THE AIR Which brings us to the caravan-park romance. It’s kind of bound to happen – throw a few dozen tanned (and not-sotanned) teenagers into the closed-off

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ecosystem that is a caravan park, add to this romantic crackling fires in the evening, a light buzz from wine coolers stolen from their parents’ gas fridges and a general lack of supervision, and you have the makings of the first buds of love, followed by the breaking of young hearts. I myself was not immune to this, though purely because I wasn’t given a choice in the matter. My oh-socaring stepmother was horrified that I’d never had a girlfriend before, and made it her personal mission to set me up with someone she could be proud of. Perhaps in her mind she’d exaggerated my virtues, because the girl she took it upon herself to target for me has probably grown up to be a fiercely beautiful Amazon woman; even then she was a full head taller than me, confident almost to a fault, and definitely could have beaten me in an arm wrestle.

I was smitten, completely blown away by the beauty before me, but also wise enough to know that she viewed me in the same way she viewed little brothers and homework – something to be endured. My stepmother was having none of this; her pep talks were deflatingly forceful. She machinated a number of rendezvous for us to canoodle and, long story short, our awkward silences were broken only by ‘my girlfriend’ sighing and staring at me balefully. Despite this, the dreamer in me still had hopes until I saw her making out with Grootjan Potgieter behind one of the big trees found at the park. My first and only caravan-park romance was over before it even began, so I retreated into our mobile home to soothe my bruised ego.

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CARAVANNING | TRAVEL

IF YOU’RE A NEWBIE, LIKE I WAS, A CARAVAN PARK IN DECEMBER IS A TRUE TRIAL BY FIRE

pictures: supplied, natalia

VITAL EQUIPMENT Like any holiday, you can only really enjoy yourself if you’ve got the right gear. The most vital piece of equipment is a fridge – warm beer is no one’s idea of fun, plenty of ice is needed for those spritzers, and the mountains of meat that will be braaied twice a day also need to be kept cool. A broken fridge spells disaster. You also need plenty – plenty food, drink and stories. Caravan parks are communal places where meals are shared and tales are swapped around the coals – bring enough so that anyone can pop over and share your meal. Then there are more ephemeral things that you need to bring with, such as a working knowledge of the Springbok backline and why they can’t just play good, running rugby.

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Whether you’re camping or caravanning, it’s also really easy to get jealous of someone else’s set-up. Let’s face it: men, being the animals they are, will always have the latest gadgets on hand that promise to tackle yet another aspect of roughing it and tweak that for comfort in the 21st century. Braai tongs with an LED light. An inflatable camp chair with built-in speakers, pockets and cup holders, boasting comfort for days. A camping stove that uses heat to charge your phone and brush your teeth. Anything along those lines should be fine. If you’re prone to jealousy, buy one awesome gadget to bring with you that someone will whistle appreciatively over – you may not be Big Dog with the million-rand gear, but at least for a moment you’ll feel like you are.

Also, it’s probably a good idea to pack in an assortment of clothes for all types of weather. You don’t want to be the only guy who’s shivering because Grootjan Potgieter stole your human heater. You also don’t want to have to turn your dirty T-shirt inside out two days before the end of the holiday because you only packed in four – accidents, such as spills, happen quickly.

GIVING IT A GO If you’re a newbie, like I was, a caravan park in December is a true trial by fire. It’s kind of like introducing someone to rock music by taking them to a Black Metal show. So if it’s something you haven’t cut your teeth on before, it’s best to go outside of school holidays, just to warm up. Just don’t forget the flippin’ beer cooler, oke.

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Far from the

madding crowd Holidays shouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t include three-month waiting lists for a lunch table, queues for cable-car trips up that mountain or fighting the mob for shuffling space on the sidewalk. Keith Bain suggests a few alternative escape routes.

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ALTERNATIVE HOLIDAY SPOTS | TRAVEL

t’s madness. The inevitable pressure to travel at that one time of the year when everyone else is doing precisely the same. Airports crowd, roads clog, and a handful of popular destinations get mobbed by tourists. If you live in Cape Town, it’s bewildering annually to witness the city filling with visitors. First, there’s the novelty as foreigners stream in, and then the infuriating mayhem at

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the peak of summer, when every inch of space is consumed by outsiders. And when people from the interior make their annual pilgrimage to Durban, the city and its neighbouring coastline can feel like a sardine factory. Meanwhile, stayat-home Jo’burgers claim December’s when their city’s at her best – the streets are empty and the hordes are cluttering someone else’s town.

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ALTERNATIVE HOLIDAY SPOTS | TRAVEL

LAKE SIBHAYI

BULUNGULA

GOING COASTAL Durban stays packed to capacity throughout summer and you’d hardly bat an eyelid if you bumped into your neighbour somewhere along the South Coast. To avoid the crunch, head north. Far north. All the way up the coast, beyond Umhlanga, beyond Ballito, way past Richards Bay, in fact. North of St Lucia, the lush coastal dune forests, estuaries, coral reefs and empty beaches that make up iSimangaliso Wetland Park give a real sense of escape – with impeccable sunbathing, fishing, snorkelling and birding. Here, in Maputaland, you feel you’ve found a place untouched by modernity, and it’s too far-flung for the crowds. Head as far north as you can go before hitting Mozambique, and you’re within

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THONGA BEACH LODGE

Kosi Bay Nature Reserve, where Kosi Forest Lodge (isibindiafrica.co.za) is just the sort of place to drop anchor for a few blissful days. Wood cabins float on stilts in the forest, where days are spent unwinding on hammocks or drifting through the estuary. Even in your canoe, things are effortless: your guide paddles through the placid waters while you keep watch for rare palm-nut vultures or crocodiles slinking into the water. For a similar castaway experience, but with more of a beach focus, there’s Thonga Beach Lodge (thongabeachlodge.co.za), south of Kosi Bay. It’s a stylish and secluded base overlooking (and directly accessing) one of Africa’s most pristine and beautiful beaches: Mabibi, which stretches unspoiled for 40km.

Guides from the lodge take guests on early morning kayaking trips on nearby Lake Sibhayi (also known as Lake Sibaya), spotting hippos as you go, and they offer ocean-going boat trips and scuba diving. During the turtle-nesting season, there are excursions to witness one of nature’s most remarkable miracles, when loggerheads and leatherbacks lay their eggs at the very spot where they themselves were hatched. Other less-trodden stretches of coast that magically avoid the crowds are along the Wild Coast. Seek out its untrammelled, harder-to-get-to spots such as Bulungula (bulungula.com), a community initiative that feels as if it’s at the end of the earth. Guests stay in rustic, traditional rondawels and spend their days behaving like privileged

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MIARESTATE LOUNGE

MIARESTATE WILDLIFE

MIARESTATE BEACH

Robinson Crusoes on wild stretches of untamed beach or hanging out with residents of the local village. There’s canoeing, horseback riding, fishing or learning just how potent home-made beer gets in these parts. At night, its unpolluted skies fill with billions of stars, plus silence that stirs the soul. The Wild Coast needn’t mean abandoning luxury, though. Just outside Haga Haga, newly opened Miarestate (miarestate.co.za) has rooms and selfcatering cabins on a 740-hectare wildlife estate alongside a secluded beach. You can be as active or lethargic as you like – game drives, nature walks, horse-riding on the beach and scenic helicopter flips are possible, and there’s a spa, too. And in nearby Chintsa, where there’s an enormous strip of vagabond beach, super-luxurious Prana Lodge (pranalodge.co.za) has huge, sumptuous villas built into a jungly, 17-acre garden behind towering sand dunes.

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When you do venture onto the beach, it’s like arriving in paradise, with zero chance of a mass invasion.

WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE If a Kruger bush holiday has always been your thing, why not consider an alternative safari destination this year? In Limpopo, the Waterberg is a 150kmlong mountain ridge in bushveld largely devoid of humans, yet – at 350km from Jo’burg – it’s easily accessible and without worry of malaria or the crush of crowds. Lodges in the region generally offer good value on top of magnificent mountain scenery. Encompassing nearly 100 000 acres, Welgevonden is the main contender, with charming places to stay such as the very intimate Makweti Safari Lodge (makweti.com), with just five immaculate chalets. But there are other, smaller reserves nearby particularly suited to

those seeking a more varied holiday. Zebula Nature Reserve offers not only a bushveld experience, but also a par-72 golf course (designed by Peter Matkovich), where it’s possible to spot giraffe and zebra from the fairways. Here, Botse Botse (botsebotsebushretreat.co.za) has earned international awards as an eco-safari lodge, and affords access to Big Five game drives, as well as horseback riding and quad biking. In areas protected from predators, it’s also possible to walk and cycle. Just 280km from Jo’burg, malaria-free Madikwe, up against the Botswana border, is the country’s fourth-largest reserve, with incredible game viewing thanks to the rangers’ policy of exchanging information about sightings. Madikwe is also stocked with some unbelievably exclusive lodges, such as super-luxurious Molori (molorisafari.com), which has lured the likes of John Travolta and Kate Moss,

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ALTERNATIVE HOLIDAY SPOTS | TRAVEL

MOUNTAIN ZEBRA NATIONAL PARK

MOUNTAIN RETREAT AT SAMARA

and Jamala Madikwe Royal Safari Lodge (jamalamadikwe.com), where nobody can even pronounce the word ‘crowd’. You needn’t pay celebrity prices to be here, though. Thakadu River Camp (thakadurivercamp.com) is a community-owned lodge with stunning tented suites on the banks of the Marico River, and deep in the bush is Mosetlha Bush Camp (thebushcamp.com) – ecofriendly, unfenced, and slightly rustic,

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it’s a very authentic experience. The raised wooden cabins have partially open sides, making you feel one with the bush. It’s off the power grid and there’s no running water. Instead, you get safari-style showers with donkey boilers, meals prepared on open fires, and heartfelt hospitality from people who truly respect their environment. Crowds are also unlikely at the sun-baked Mapungubwe National Park.

A land of mopane forests and baobabs, Mapungubwe was during the 13th century the heart of southern Africa’s wealthiest kingdom, trading gold and ivory with Egypt, India, and China, and importing Persian glass beads and Oriental porcelain. Apart from cultural memories, the park shelters lion, white rhino, wild dog, leopard, cheetah, elephant, hyena and aardvark, and you can stay comfortably at the Limpopo Forest Tented Camp (sanparks.org), which has eight large, well-kitted tents shaded by gigantic nyala berry trees. Crowd-free safaris aren’t restricted to the north. Sibuya (sibuya.co.za) is down near the coast in the Eastern Cape. You’re ferried by boat from Kenton-onSea to Sibuya’s river island, where two camps are tucked into thick forest. It’s The Land Before Time territory – dense vegetation, abundant wildlife – yet surprisingly close to civilisation. Tents at smaller River Camp have big roll-up canvas flaps and walls of glass. Forest Camp is reached via circuitous timber boardwalks – roll up the bathroom walls and it’s like you’re already outside. There are game drives and waterbased adventures, and your host’s encyclopaedic knowledgeable on the local ecology is astonishing. In the Great Karoo, near the town of Graaff-Reinet, Samara Private Game Reserve (samara.co.za) is among the Eastern Cape’s most upscale safari destinations, with a variety of swish accommodation set amid 70 000 acres of Camdeboo mountainscape stocked with more than 60 mammal species, including collared cheetah you can track on foot. Located high up on Aasvoëlberg, Samara’s generator-powered Mountain Retreat is a self-catering hideaway that seems light years from civilisation.

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TSWALU KALAHARI

Meanwhile, near Cradock, Mountain Zebra National Park (sanparks.org) is a little-known reserve established primarily to save the Cape mountain zebra. At more than 28 000 hectares, it’s now home to at least 700 zebra, plus other species such as buffalo, black rhino and collared cheetah, which can be viewed on foot with a guide using radio tracking. There’s a choice of camping sites, family cottages, a guesthouse, or more remote 4X4accessible mountain cottages. On the R62, not too far from Cape Town, Sanbona (sanbona.com) was the first reserve in the Western Cape to offer Big Five sightings against the Little Karoo’s scenic backdrop. Animals are a tad more elusive than those in Kruger, but there’s a whole lot of space (133 000 acres) that’s shared with considerably fewer guests who are in turn lodged at three different camps (Dwyka Tented Lodge is the best). Alternatively, you can join one of their explorer camping safaris, where you sleep in the bush and join rangers for on-foot animal tracking during the day.

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DISAPPEAR INTO THE DESERT Originally developed by hunter Steven Boler, who assembled thousands of animals, including lion, black rhino, cheetah, leopard, buffalo, Tswalu Kalahari (tswalu.com) is hands down the most glamorous place anywhere in the Northern Cape. It’s also South Africa’s largest private game reserve, covering more than 100 000 hectares of remote semi-desert. Now owned by the super-wealthy Oppenheimer family, the conservationist vision has been to ‘restore the Kalahari to itself’ with minimal human interference, ensuring it’s among the country’s finest wilderness areas. Dedicated guides and pampering staff are on hand to take care of you. But the real luxury is the immensity of space. And since there’s no thick vegetation to conceal animals, sightings are excellent and it’s possible to see rarities such as sable and roan antelope, tsessebe, cheetah and wild dog. Meerkats are a favourite sighting among guests, too. Besides game drives, it’s possible to set off on horseback or take to the sky

in a hot-air balloon, and night drives turn up rare sightings of elusive aardvark, aardwolf, pangolin, and porcupine. Motse, the main camp found below the Korannaberg mountains, offers just eight individual stone, clay, and thatch lodges with private decks overlooking a waterhole – just beautiful, with plush interiors (designed by the same team responsible for Singita). Tswalu is unashamedly pricey, but for the kind of money that won’t require a second mortgage, there’s communityowned !Xaus Lodge (xauslodge.co.za) in the Kgalagadi Transfrontier Park. They’re self-catering chalets within 50 000 hectares of beautifully desolate desertscape traversed by big-maned ‘Kalahari’ lions, cheetah, oryx and elephant. More difficult to reach are the unfenced SANParks camps within the Kalahari’s desert wilderness. More than a day’s 4X4 drive from the park entrance is gloriously remote Gharagab Wilderness Camp (sanparks.org), deep in the duneveld, where camelthorns dot the savannah near the Namibian border. Here you’ll discover a tranquillity and peace so deep and meditative, you’ll forget there’s a reality you’ll eventually need to return to.

pictures: johannes van niekerk, supplied

TSWALU KALAHARI IS HANDS DOWN THE MOST GLAMOROUS PLACE ANYWHERE IN THE NORTHERN CAPE

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Wanted: holidays for parents

The daily parenting grind can be brutal. Send your kids to these holiday camps and enjoy some real R&R, writes Belinda Mountain.

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KIDDIE VACATIONS | TRAVEL

h … the December holidays. Sun. Sea. Spritzers. Silence? Not in my house. The truth is that the endless weeks of holidays over the festive season are less restful if you have young humans around. After all, they don’t know that mom and dad are on a well-deserved break from the daily grind as well. Which is why I’ll be constantly bombarded with cries of ‘I’m bored’ and ‘What’s for supper?’ and ‘Ben stole my Frozen doll!’ However, I think I’ve found a solution for giving myself a break while my rapidly growing bundles of joy are off from school: holiday camps. Although they’ve been running for decades in the States to great success, American-style holiday camps are still a relatively new concept in South Africa, with not many parents considering them to be a viable option. But what’s not to like? Tear your kids away from their digital devices, chuck them into the great outdoors and rest your fraying nerves for a week. Sounds good to me. So if you’re daydreaming of a holiday that’s actually a holiday, here’s my roundup of some great holiday camps for kids around the country:

WESTERN CAPE

High Africa Adventure Camp You can find High Africa in the Worcester Winelands on the banks of the Breede River, only an hour-and-a-half drive from Cape Town. It’s suitable for grades 5-9, and camp administrator Leigh Mortimer says that most December camps run between four and six days. ‘From our awesome 12-metre climbing wall, raft building and potjiekos cooking competitions to night hikes and indoor brain-teaser activities, there’s something for everyone,’ says Leigh. With these facilities, children get to experience things they normally wouldn’t, like braving the unique high-ropes course that operates at 12 metres above the ground and is constructed within a massive, interlinked pole structure covering a 50-metre span (don’t worry, they have very strict safety regulations). Accommodation is in rustic, thatch and log-cabin-style cottages, all of which are en suite and the food at camp is apparently legendary. ‘The children experience a safe and well-run outing, and go home with new friends and

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KIDDIE VACATIONS | TRAVEL

IN THE PAST 12 YEARS, SUGAR BAY HAS ENTERTAINED THOUSANDS OF KIDS

a renewed sense of confidence for having completed activities that put them out of their comfort zone,’ adds Leigh. 021 794 8658, 083 301 8533, highafrica.com. Rates: from R1 100 per child for a four-day camp.

Kidz Get Wild Founded by two doctors – Helen and Colin Ingram, who wanted to create a fun, safe and inspiring camp as they themselves had experienced as kids overseas – Kidz Get Wild (KGW) camps are held at the Waterval Nature Reserve in Tulbagh, just an hour’s drive from Cape Town. The adventure-style kids camp caters for children from grades 1-7,

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with five guardians for every one child. Accommodation is in luxury en-suite safari tents, which all have air conditioning, tiled floors, and proper beds and mattresses, so you know your precious darlings will be more than comfortable. Each tent has three to five children sleeping in it along with one guardian – and all accommodation is gender specific. What I really liked at KGW is that all cellphones are taken away at the beginning of the camp and locked away in a safe, so your child won’t be distracted by social media and can focus on making friends and having fun, like we used to do as kids. They’ll return home with tales of swimming under waterfalls, building a bridge or

playing paintball, and you’ll finally be able to enjoy that cocktail by the pool like you’ve dreamed about all year. 021 001 3680, kgw.co.za. Rates: R990 for two-day camps; up to R3 465 for seven-day camps.

KWAZULU-NATAL Sugar Bay

Established in 2001, ‘South Africa’s first American-style sleepover camp’ was founded by Zoe Ellender, who wanted to combine her passions for working with kids, the outdoors, holidays, sports and endless sunshine. In the past 12 years, Sugar Bay has entertained thousands of kids, both locally and internationally, with recent guests even coming from as far away as Angola,

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OUTWARD BOUND OFFERS MORE INTENSE PROGRAMMES THAN THE TYPICAL HOLIDAY CAMPS Brazil and Hong Kong to experience the natural beauty that can be found on the KZN North Coast. Located in the beautiful seaside village of Zinkwazi, between sugarcane fields and the warm Indian Ocean, the camp caters for children from grade 1 to matric (age seven to 17). The extremely high ratio of facilitators to kids (at 3:1, it’s the highest in the country) is one of the things that sets Sugar Bay apart, says bookings manager Roma van Staden. ‘In December, we run three six-day camps,’ she explains, ‘as we believe this is the perfect length of time for kids to stay with us. They usually take three days to settle in and then, from days four to six, we see them experiencing a lot of personal growth.’ During December, various themed weeks ensure that kids can choose from a wide variety of fun activities. ‘We have a Hollywood Week with

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talent shows, a “Minion” Week featuring various adventure quests, a Doughnut Week (think Fear Factor with doughnuts) and even a Thailand week, where kids learn about the culture, go on a boat cruise and enjoy a fireworks display,’ adds Roma. Best of all? Testimonials on their website indicate that children return home with a renewed sense of respect and good manners. Sign me up. 032 485 3778, sugarbay.co.za. Rates: from R5 699 for the six-day camps for any new campers (past campers enjoy reduced rates).

GARDEN ROUTE Lake Pleasant

This popular holiday resort between Wilderness and Knysna will be launching the daily Kids Club Programme this December, which will be open to resort guests as well as the general public.

Enjoy a relaxing facial or massage at the spa while your kids take part in face painting, storytelling, volleyball, treasure hunts, sand sculptures, painting, croquet, a jumping castle and a slip-and-slide. Although your brood won’t be able to stay the night, you can experience some serious downtime while your little ones are entertained in lush and tranquil surroundings. 044 349 2401, lakepleasantresort.co.za. Rates: will vary, depending on chosen activities.

Outward Bound Situated at Willow Point on the banks of the Swartvlei in Sedgefield, Outward Bound offers more intense programmes than the typical holiday camps, teaching life skills and personal development to kids aged 14 and up. The largest nonprofit experiential education organisation in the world,

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KIDDIE VACATIONS | TRAVEL

Outward Bound was pioneered more than 60 years ago and now has more than 40 schools operating in 35 countries around the world. While their typical programmes can last up to 21 days, they also offer three- and five-day holiday programmes that, while they’re no walk in the park, will get your kids out into South Africa’s beautiful outdoors, challenge them and provide them with valuable life skills. Activities such as rock climbing, abseiling, hiking or canoeing are on offer, as well as beach walks and community service. Although most of their programmes are run through schools, Outward Bound says they will run holiday programmes in December if there is sufficient interest from the public. 082 557 6384, outwardbound.co.za. Rates: R365 per day, regardless of course length.

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GAUTENG

JumpHouse If you live in Gauteng and aren’t heading to the coast this December, don’t fret – your children won’t have to spend their summer holidays hanging around shopping malls. JumpHouse Camp is based on a picturesque family farm on the banks of the Hartebeespoort Dam. Just an hour’s drive from Jo’burg and Pretoria, it’s a great, local, entertainment option for Gauteng parents. Started by Jason Kurz, a former Playball franchisee, JumpHouse offers an alternative to a world where our kids are increasingly tied to their phones, have poor motor skills and lack essential life skills. Activities on offer hope to change all of that, ranging from the educational (learning about fauna and flora or shelter building), physical (mini-hikes or swimming), creative (drama or singing), social (team building and obstacle

courses) or just plain fun (star gazing, picnics in the treehouse, treasure hunts and marshmallow toasting). ‘At JumpHouse, we bring the fun back into everyday activities for the children,’ comments business manager Evan Fraser, ‘and actively encourage them to play outside, develop interpersonal and social skills, and just enjoy being children.’ Evan says JumpHouse is also the perfect option for those parents who are still finishing off their last few weeks of work, and who are at a loss when it comes to keeping their children busy until they go on holiday. ‘We’re expecting the first two weeks of December and January to be very busy at JumpHouse Adventure Camp,’ Evan adds. 083 307 9114, 082 494 6856, jumphousecamp.com. Rates: full week-camps R3 100; weekend camps R1 100; day visitors R300 per child per day.

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Gulliver aspirante Los viajes de un

(or: Travels of a wannabe Gulliver)

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NAVIGATING SPAIN | TRAVEL

Anthony Sharpe loses his heart, but not his way, on a technologically enhanced journey through Spain.

BARCELONA

MADRID

GRANADA

t was a crash course in European city navigation. The others had all gone to bed after dinner – grilled seabass at a super-hipster organic restaurant five minutes’ walk from our base of operations: the Only You Hotel & Lounge in the Justicia neighbourhood of the city. The others were journalists from across Africa, Israel and Turkey. We were in the city for Project Gulliver – Google’s demonstration of how your smartphone and its Google App could be your best travelling companions and guides.

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LA HORA ES… With the Google App downloaded and installed, the Nexus smartphone became an indispensable travel companion. The first thing you notice is Google NOW, which brings up relevant notifications from your Gmail account and calendar such as flight and hotel bookings, appointments, weather, recommended stops in the area, and other useful stuff. It sounds simple, but it’s incredibly nifty, actually, even if the fact that it’s pulling information from your personal email account can be a little daunting. After Madrid, I travelled around the country for two weeks, and Google now kept me abreast of my bookings with hostels and hotels, as well as their details. It told me how soon I needed to leave the Toc Hostel to get to the train station, utilising the glorious public transport that is inherent to most western-European countries. It fed me bits of trivia about my next destination, alerting me to the Festival of Patios (as quaint as it sounds: homeowners open their lovingly tended courtyard gardens to the public) in Cordoba. It seemed as excited about my travels as I was, but perhaps all that time alone in buses and on trains was starting to get to me…

FRIGILIANA

HABLO INGLES? After dinner that first night, I’d gone back to the plush, boutique-style room and sat on the bed for 15 minutes, contemplating turning in for the night like the others. But then it really hit me: this was Madrid, on a Saturday night. And it was midnight. Spaniards operate on a different clock to the rest of the world. It’s got something to do with this little tradition of pausing all activity during the middle of the day in summer. It was spring when I visited, but the habits of the locals persisted. Dinner reservations are normally made for 10pm, and you don’t even think of going to a club before 1am.

I followed my feet out of the hotel and onto cobbled and paved streets thronging with people, past cafés and bars and restaurants that were packed with young and old, people drinking and sharing little plates of food and talking. I found a café and ordered myself a beer, accidentally convincing the waitress that I wanted a Paulaner weissbier. I felt like a bit of an idiot sitting there making my first beer in Spain a German one, so at my next stop I ordered una copa cerveza – many bars and restaurants will serve you a glass of Estrella, Cruzcampo, San Miguel or, particularly in Andalusia, Alhambra for €2 or under. It’s also a

PANORAMA OF CÓRDOBA

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NAVIGATING SPAIN | TRAVEL

SEVILLE

BARCELONA

common custom (again, particularly in Andalusia) for a plate of tapas to be served with a drink – on the house. If you need to order something, however, Word Lens is handy. This little bit of sorcery, which is incorporated into Google Translate, turns your phone into an instant translation machine. Just point the camera at the passage of text in question, let your phone scan it, and before your very eyes, Español becomes English! It’s a little rusty in places, and obviously direct translation lacks any sort of nuance, but it really does make you feel like you’re living in the future.

DÓNDE ESTÁ? Google Translate will only get you so far, however, so I did the unthinkable … and sought out an Irish pub that I’d heard about. I reasoned that it would be a good place to relax and gather my thoughts, strike up a conversation with someone similarly handicapped on the Español front and potentially find further merriment. Now, I possess the navigational sense of a squashed tomato at the best of times, and so it was time for the first test of Google Maps in a strange city.

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I punched in the details of the seedy establishment I sought, and proceeded to walk the streets of a strange city, at night, with an expensive smartphone held at arm’s length in front of my face, practically bumping into passersby, flying in the face of all my South African instincts to hide my valuables away from prying eyes and hands. It’s surprising what you can get away with in a safe city. When I reached the pub, however, I discovered they were charging a €5 cover just to get inside. I didn’t need to convert to know that was more than I felt like paying for the ignominy of visiting an Irish bar in the capital of Spain, so I opened Google Maps and hit the Explore button. Now this is frikkin cool. It pulls up a list of attractions, activities, restaurants and bars nearby – whether that’s nearby as in five minutes’ drive or 20 minutes’ walk. Explore sorts culinary establishments into meal type and ambience, and each listing has a star rating as determined by user-submitted reviews. The recommendations also shift based on the time of day and the weather. By this stage ye olde guidebook was starting to look a leeetle irrelevant.

(This functionality is limited in South Africa at present, but here’s hoping it’ll be implemented for our major destinations and further afield soon.) There’s also a nifty feature called Timeline. Wandering a foreign city can be disorienting, and often I’d see something awesome but have no idea where it was, which made my travel narratives a bit incoherent, and also made it very difficult to recommend things to other travellers. Timeline tracks your movements, laying out your route on an offline map and listing them in chronological order so you can retrace your steps.

UNA FOTO, POR FAVOUR? I’m what you could call a snap-happy traveller. From the incredible graffiti plastered on walls and roll-down corrugated-steel doors all over Madrid to the panoramic vistas to be seen from El Mirador de Virolai at the top of Gaudí’s Park Güell in Barcelona to the dark-sand beaches of the Costa del Sol, the rolling winelands and movie-set-like streets of Frigiliana, the mind-bendingly intricate tessellating stone carvings adorning the walls and ceilings of the Alhambra in Granada, and the hypnotic arches of

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TRAVEL | NAVIGATING SPAIN BARCELONA

CUÁNTAS FOTOGRAFÍAS? Google Photos organises your pics by day, month or year, which is nifty when you take about 3 000 over the course of a two-week trip. It also creates series of similar photographs, stylised pics and mini-photo stories for you, which are cute little scrolling slideshows. With location services switched on, the camera app also geotags your photos, which is even more useful than Maps for finding specific sights that you saw on your various walkabouts. Just hit the ‘i’

BARCELONA

button at the bottom of the picture and it pulls up your date, shot info, GPS coordinates and a map, which you can tap to pull up the location on Google Maps. That bar in Barcelona where they serve absinthe the real way – flaming sugar and all? I’d never have had a clue where to find it (particularly after absinthe) had I not snapped the green flames atop the glass of mind-warping liquor. That pair of couches outside a gypsy cave in the hills overlooking the Alhambra? How else do you direct someone to that? That pair of leather shoes I didn’t have time to try on but planned on coming back for? Well, I never went back for those… Last, but certainly not least, Photos backs your images up automatically (be sure to set this to Wi-Fi only unless you want to rack up a major data bill) to an online library. For free, with unlimited storage – if you select the ‘high quality’

option, which is appropriate for camera phones. If you’re a noob like me when it comes to actually downloading pictures off your phone, then this is well handy. Ultimately, though, you don’t fly the length of Africa and then some just to stare into your smartphone. I went there to walk the ancient streets of Barcelona’s Raval, framed by the past but pulsing with the energy of modern European life. I went there to sit at a Seville café drinking rioja and nibbling on tostada con jamón while the locals nattered away endlessly about me. I went there to get whisked about Granada by night by Italian students, while women in flamenco dresses strutted past us and youths drank beer to celebrate the Day of the Cross. I went there to fall in love with a country, a culture and a thousand Andalusian women. Google just made it a little easier.

pictures: anthony sharpe

the Mezquita-catedral de Córdoba to the sprawling gardens of the Real Alcázar in Seville, I snapped endlessly. As well as standard panorama modes, Google’s camera app also includes a little piece of wizardry called Photosphere, which I discovered standing in the cathedral inside Córdoba’s great mosque. Photosphere captures a panoramic image centred around you, which can then be viewed by moving the camera around before your eyes, as if you were using it as a lens to another world. Every person I’ve shown that image to has gasped at being transported via technology to the grandest of cathedrals built inside the grandest of mosques in the western world.

POWER IN YOUR POCKET

To demonstrate the power of their software, we needed powerful hardware – in the form of the Nexus 6, the latest in their Nexus range of smartphones, this one co-developed by Google and Motorola. Powered by a 2.7GHz quad-core Snapdragon with 3GB of RAM, it’s more powerful than my work computer, and ships with Android 5.0 Lollipop. At six inches across its diagonal, it’s so large it’s been christened a phablet – a hybrid between a phone and a tablet. It’s not for everybody, and it took me a little while to become accustomed to the exigencies of operating it with one hand, dislocating my thumb to reach across the screen and swipe the camera on or check the drop-down menu. But once you’re used to all that AMOLED high-definition real estate, any other phone seems inadequate and silly by comparison. *Note: all images for this story were shot on the Nexus 6.

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Dazed amazed and confused,

and amused

Keith Bain trawls the globe for some of humanityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s craziest and zaniest, wildest and most amazing shindigs. Warning: things are about to get a wee bit wayward.

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HOLIDAY FESTIVITIES | TRAVEL

DRESS UP AND HAVE A BALL The largest mobile party of its kind, San Francisco’s Bay to Breakers is a hedonistic free-for-all attended by well over 100 000 people, who don outlandish costumes (or go starkers) for a 12km foot race that doubles as a debauched party accompanied by boozing, carousing and live bands along the route. Many of the world’s carnival-style celebrations take their cue from the world-famous Carnevale di Venezia (23 January – 9 February 2016). Venice’s wildest party developed from a law against wearing masks and costumes, passed in 1458 to prevent men from dressing as women, a popular way of gaining access to convents in order to take advantage of the chaste nuns inside. From 1608, masks were restricted to one annual city-wide celebration, when things got exceptionally loose and decadent. The festival became strongly associated with the city’s moral decline and was finally banned under Mussolini’s rule. Since its revival in 1979, though, the Carnevale has rekindled this flamboyant celebration of an inverted social order, with parties throughout the city. Not to be outdone, Cape Town’s Mother City Queer Project (MCQP) celebrates its 22nd birthday this month under the theme ‘Candyland’, which will see thousands dressed up as lollipops, chocolates and sugar-coated ingestibles for a raucous indoor-outdoor multi-venue party taking over Harrington Street for the night. The mix includes eight different dance floors with more than 100 DJs and artists performing.

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SONGKRAN IN THAILAND

IN BUÑOL, VALENCIA, SOME 40 TONS OF TOMATOES GET THROWN BY 30 000 CELEBRANTS

DÍA DE LOS MUERTOS

CREEPY CARNIVALS In Mexico each November, you can dance with the deceased during Día de los Muertos – the Day of the Dead – when the souls of the dead are welcomed home for a feast. The festival has its roots in ancient Aztec custom and goes back some 3 000 years. After dark, candlelit processions and vigils occur around the altars, while roving mariachi bands provide the soundtrack. People prepare altar decorations such as calaveras (skulls) made from sugar, and paint their faces to resemble the calaveras before participating in processions of the living dead. Castrillo de Murcia in Spain hosts one of the world’s weirdest festivals: the

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devil’s jump or El Salto del Colacho, also known as the baby-jumping festival. Grown men dress up as Colacho (the devil) and jump over babies – up to 10 at a time – laid down on mattresses in the street. Being leaped over supposedly guards the babies against evil spirits, cleansing them of original sin, a belief that isn’t sanctioned by the church – the idea being that evil spirits are lured by the leaping devil. These days, the devils wear red-and-yellow jumpsuits and a pair of running shoes, although the event is curated by the mysterious black-clad Brotherhood of Santísimo Sacramento de Minerva. In Madagascar, Famadihana – the ‘turning of the bones’ festival – is held every seven years, when crypts are opened and the remains of the dead are wrapped in fresh cloth. The ritual grave digging is followed by dancing, and celebrations include sacrificing animals for a feast. Creepy as it may sound, there’s nothing morbid about the Hellraiser’s Hootenanny in Roodepoort this month. The festival celebrates rockabilly and other off-centre music genres with bands such as The Damned Crows, The Psykotix and The

Spinebenders, and puts on displays of classic cars and bikes, plus burlesque performances and fire dancing. Also on the cards is a ‘psychobilly pin-up pageant’, and bizarro stalls such as The Golden Tiki Online Odditorium and The Little Shop of Strange.

WHO GIVES A TOSS? The Battle of the Oranges in Ivrea, Italy, is an annual carnival said to celebrate the liberation of the city from an oppressive ruler who, during medieval times, starved its citizens. Today, a week before Lent, teams gather in the city squares and toss oranges at one another in a fruity battle. Anyone is welcome to join in – raingear and masks are recommended, while spectators are warned to don red hats, symbolising non-participation, failing which there’s a good chance of getting fast-flying citrus in the face. Each August, in Buñol, Valencia, some 40 tons of tomatoes get thrown by 30 000 celebrants determined to paint the town red during the world-famous La Tomatina festival, widely regarded as the world’s biggest food fight, having spawned at least a dozen imitation festivals around the world.

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HOLIDAY FESTIVITIES | TRAVEL

FUN FACTORY

CARNEVALE DI VENEZIA

Thais call New Year Songkran and celebrate mid-April with revellers pelting one another with water – throwing it out of buckets, spraying it from hoses, shooting it from plastic guns. Being soaked is considered a blessing – traditionally, Thais would pour scented water on each other’s hands in order to bestow blessings. Of course, these days it’s a massive free-forall, soaking the streets and marvellously transforming everyone into children. Fortunately, South Africans know better than to play with their food in the streets, and wasting water is frowned upon. One foreign custom that we’ve adopted, though, is the tossing of coloured power that’s traditionally part of the Hindu festival of Holi. In India, it’s a mega-street party celebrating the triumph of good over evil, while the international incarnation has been franchised globally as Holi One, where revellers pay to pelt one another with powder on an outdoor dance floor.

SAYONARA 2015 There’s a fair amount of competition between the world’s metros aiming to host the world’s showiest NYE celebration. New York’s Times Square is

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BATTLE OF THE ORANGES

known for the dropping of an enormous crystal ball at midnight. Down Under, Sydney Harbour Bridge and the nearby Opera House set the stage for the world’s largest fireworks display – first at 9pm and then another at midnight. Rio de Janeiro actually dominates the world stakes for the biggest – and wildest, no doubt – NYE party, which happens on Copacabana Beach. More than 2-million revellers fill the 4km sandy stretch for what Brazilians call réveillon. Tradition dictates dressing entirely in white and throwing flowers into the sea as a gift to the goddess, Yemanjá. In Europe’s far north, Edinburgh may be relatively tiny, but the urge to party is great, with New Year’s revels – Hogmanay – lasting three days. It starts with a torch-lit procession on 30 December and includes street parties and open-air concerts on the 31st, when fireworks let rip above Edinburgh Castle while everyone sings ‘Auld Lang Syne’. Then, on 1 January, die-hards rid themselves of hangovers by jumping into the icy Firth of Forth. Even further north, Icelanders in the capital, Reykjavik, gather around bonfires for a bit of a sing-along as part of their New Year’s build-up.

LOCAL DEETS Hellraiser’s Hootenanny 5 December, Rumour’s Lounge, Cornelius Street, Roodepoort, foxybonnet.com, quicket.co.za. MCQP: Candyland 19 December, Harrington Street, Cape Town, mcqp.co.za. Kirstenbosch NYE Concert 31 December, Kirstenbosch, sanbi.org, webtickets.co.za. Rezonance 30 December – 2 January, Contermanskloof Farm, Durbanville, quicket.co.za. Octopus Garden NYE Silent Disco 31 December – 1 January, Octopus Garden, Main Road, St James, facebook.com/ OctopusGardenSilentEvents. Wolfkop Weekender’s Lilo River Flow 21–25 January, Wolfkop Nature Reserve, Citrusdal, wolfkopweekender.co.za. Up the Creek 28–31 January, near Swellendam, upthecreek.co.za.

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TRAVEL | HOLIDAY FESTIVITIES

UP THE CREEK

In Barcelona, meanwhile, those who take these things seriously wear red underwear to secure good luck in the coming year, and at midnight will eat 12 grapes – one for each chime of the clock. Cape Town, too, has found a spot on a number of lists ranking the planet’s best places to spend NYE. Parties happen everywhere, ensuring an unenviable tangle of traffic as everyone tries to squeeze in a sunset beach trip before gathering at the Waterfront to watch the sky fill with exploding fireworks at midnight. Saner folks vacate the city. You can head south, to St James, for the

silent disco at Octopus Garden, where headphone technology enables you to choose from a selection of music channels, claiming your preferred DJ or genre (not to mention doing away with the need to scream above the speakers). At Kirstenbosch Gardens, you can ease your way into 2016 with Jeremy Loops and a side order of ska-funk band Grassy Spark. If the weather cooperates, it’ll be a relaxed picnic with bubbly and chilled vibes. But if that sounds too tame, there’s always the relentless throbbing bass at Rezonance, the annual four-day blowout trance party in Durbanville. Aside from the psychedelic main stage, three additional dance floors offer doses of progressive, drum ‘n’ bass, techno, dub step and even a few chill-out acts.

ANYTHING THAT FLOATS Duct tape and beer cans have achieved unexpected usefulness in one of Australia’s

weirdest festivals: the Darwin Beer Can Regatta. The festival began in 1974, predating the contemporary recycling trend. Although quite a number fall apart before the ocean race even starts, many of the makeshift boats are seaworthy and some have outboard motors. South Africa has its share of waterborne festivals, such as Up the Creek, arranged on the side of the Breede River – as well as on the water itself – giving real meaning to ‘chilling out’. In a secret location in the Citrusdal Valley, Wolfkop Weekender’s Lilo River Flow is a lesser-known celebration. Intimate by festival standards (with just 600 tickets), its impeccably curated music line-up and salubrious setting in a lush nature reserve are made all the more fantastical by its lilo-bound love affair with the Olifants River. Music starts up Friday afternoon and the dance floor closes for a spit-braai lunch on Sunday, making it one of the most civilised festivals around.

Hippie heaven An experiment in self-sufficiency and off-grid alternative economy, Learning Man is a festival set to bring together community-minded individuals. Instead of decadence and debauchery, there’ll be emphasis on art, creativity and knowledge expansion. Instead of money, attendees will exchange talent and skills and share ideas. 26 December – 3 January, Circle of Dreams, Riviersonderend, learningman.co.za. Fun fundraiser What began as a bucket list of awesomeness, No Danger Diaries is

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an events company striving to make a difference. Their Secret Sunrise dance events are staged at dawn in Cape Town locations, using headphone technology. Fun Factory, No Danger’s December bash, offers a range of activities, from conscious-eating workshops to acroyoga, slack-lining classes and cider-making sessions. In fact, Saturday’s party is a conscious (sober) affair and at midnight turns into a silent disco using headphones, so as not to disturb the rest of the Hemel-enAarde Valley. 4-6 December, Nidderdale Farm, Hermanus, nodangerdiaries.com, quicket.co.za.

Choo-choo disco Spark is a two-day music and arts festival centred on the Spirit Train, a breathtaking mutant vehicle created for AfrikaBurn. With a lake island for a main dance floor, organisers say they intend to break the mould in terms of music, multisensory artworks and the preservation of the pristine environment in which they’re throwing their shindig. Primarily, though, it’s a dance party, with 11 live acts and 28 DJs spanning genres from dub and funk to deep house and techno grooves. 27-28 December, The Island, between Stellenbosch and Paarl, quicket.co.za.

pictures: carola brunnbauer, miguel tejada-floris, belia oh, supplied

DECEMBER GATHERINGS FOR CREATIVE AND CONSCIOUS SOULS

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Beyond

Baywatch What could be cooler than spending your day on the beach, soaking up vitamin D, and every so often going all out to save someone from drowning? Keith Bain chats to some of the guys making our beaches safer this summer.

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LIFEGUARDS | BEHIND THE SCENES

landudno, Cape Town, high summer. Max van Baarsel was on the tower. It had been a day of big wind and four- to six-foot swells. ‘I spotted something dark in the corner of the bay near the rocks. I thought at first it was a bodyboarder,’ he says. ‘Then I noticed there was no paddling action, so figured something was wrong. Suddenly, a bunch of people were running towards the tower. ‘The story goes that they’d seen their friend slip off the rocks into the water, hitting his head as he went in, before being sucked out. I ran along the rocks and jumped in. Luckily I was in my wetsuit because the water was freezing. The man, an Austrian tourist, was unconscious, floating completely naked (in the process of being bashed against the rocks he’d lost his pants). I couldn’t tell if he was dead or alive, but he was bleeding, cut up by the rocks, and didn’t seem to be breathing. ‘The current was too strong to swim back to the beach and I couldn’t take him farther out either, because the waves were too big. Meanwhile, the swell was pushing me against the rocks. The guy was almost 100kg, but I managed to start lifting him slowly up onto the rocks with help from a couple of other lifeguards. Once we got him out of the water it was clear that he wasn’t breathing and had no pulse. We performed CPR and started seeing signs of life – tiny splutters of breath. That was such a huge relief.’ The man recovered fully in hospital, his passive near drowning resulting only in a lung infection. Less fortunate, though, was one of the lifeguards who’d run to assist Max. He got his leg stuck between the rocks, tore ligaments, and twisted his knee, tearing the meniscus. He was on crutches for eight months.

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LIFEGUARDS | BEHIND THE SCENES

Max, a 24-year-old chemical engineer, is one of around 70 voluntary life-savers active on Llandudno’s beach. Max’s club prides itself on zero drownings since its establishment in 1972. That’s 43 years without an active drowning while lifeguards were on duty. ‘I was seven when I first joined,’ says Max. ‘I wasn’t even a good enough swimmer to pass the tests to qualify as a nipper. But I stuck it out. ‘Most of all, you need to be conscientious, and have that desire to serve your community. Be driven, because it’s something you take on, not something you’re told to do. So you need to be the kind of person willing to take initiative. Lifeguards are pretty good people, I’d say.’

DON’T YOU WORRY Lifeguards tend to agree that when the need arises, they’re unlikely to think they might be putting their own lives in danger.

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The training and adrenaline kick in, and they perform their duty. ‘I think you require a degree of courageousness,’ says Llandudno club captain Michael de Kwaatsteniet, also 24. ‘It’s not bravery – that’s something less calculated, even a bit stupid. Courageousness implies being aware of what you’re getting yourself into, and taking your capabilities and the situation into consideration. Sometimes there are terrifying conditions. Sometimes it’s so adverse out there that a rescue is impossible. But when situations arise, responding comes naturally. It’s purely instinctive for us to go into the water and attempt to help.’ While they aren’t constantly pulling people out of the water, much of what happens in a lifeguard’s average day revolves around preparedness and vigilance, in order to create a safe environment for beach users. This involves setting up, being prepared, putting

warnings in place, and ensuring there’s a visible presence on the beaches. ‘Over December, we have hundreds of thousands of people flocking to the beach,’ says Sihle Xaba, a senior professional lifeguard at Durban’s Addington Beach. ‘We need to be on our toes and super vigilant. We make sure that every bather is swimming safe. We have a zerotolerance policy in that we do not allow any accidents to happen. Our code is “prevention first”. That’s what the flags are for: to designate a safe bathing area that we can carefully monitor.’

IT’S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT ‘We take turns on the tower, from where we can see beyond the waves,’ explains Michael. ‘That’s our primary means of keeping a visual on bathers. We also run beach patrols, walking up and down to monitor less-viewable areas at the far ends of the beach. And we have water patrol, where we’re out on craft,

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BEHIND THE SCENES | LIFEGUARDS

or swimming, watching out for any potential risky situations.’ ‘What people don’t understand,’ says Llandudno’s Rob Shaff, ‘is that even the strongest swimmers can’t swim straight back in if there’s a rip. There’s a technique: swimming parallel to the beach to get out of the pull and then coming in once you’re out of the rip. Unfortunately, most people, especially tourists, aren’t aware of that, so when they get stuck in these rips, they try to swim against them, panic, tire themselves out, and then the cold water very quickly takes effect. Before you know it, we have a major problem.’ Once a situation is spotted, Rob says a ‘help out’ typically happens very quickly. ‘We have various techniques for pulling people out – be it with a torpedo buoy and fin, a Malibu rescue board or a throw line,’ he says. ‘The procedure is to get to the troubled person while they’re still relatively calm, so that we can get them onto a board, ask them to relax, and paddle them to a safe spot before getting them back to shore. We have a lot of those

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kinds of incidents; it’s pretty normal to have one or two happen during any duty day during the season. ‘Our training includes mock or simulated situations,’ adds Rob, ‘and eventually we’re confident enough to handle unpredictable situations. Later, you find that once the adrenaline kicks in, you’re on autopilot. You don’t have time in those situations to worry about being scared or cold. Often, during help outs, we’re going into nine- or 10-degree water in a Speedo. There’s a rush of adrenaline, because someone’s life is on the line, and you don’t feel the cold until after the event is over.’

’CAUSE I’M ALWAYS READY Michael, who – like many lifeguards – started out as a nipper, says life-saving becomes deeply embedded in the lifestyle. ‘When you’re young, it’s about having fun and being on the beach,’ he explains. ‘I remember that feeling of belonging and interconnectedness with nature and the ocean. At Llandudno, there’s a core group of lifeguards who’ve grown up on

the beach, who’ve been brought up in the lifeguard lifestyle – this has always been our life.’ For others, though, life-saving represents a complete change of lifestyle. In Durban, where beaches can be active yearlong, many of the fulltime professional lifeguards grew up far from the sea. Sihle, in fact, grew up in Lamontville, an hour from the beach by train. As a youngster in the late 80s, he joined a swimming club at a community pool. ‘There was a group of guys training to be lifeguards, and I was curious, so I joined them and eventually found myself training on the beach,’ he says. ‘After swimming only in a pool for so long, it was incredible being exposed to the ocean, learning to bodysurf and bodyboard. I loved that I wasn’t swimming laps, because that gets a bit boring. The ocean just seemed so full of possibility.’ Once qualified, Sihle did his first season as a fully fledged lifeguard in 1995, and was hooked. Soon after, he became a professional life-saver on the city’s payroll,

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ADVERTORIAL ADVERTORIAL ‘Loose nails’ is a finger and toe nail condition which is not only unsightly, but can also be the forerunner of or hide fungal nail infections. This article is

about thenails’ difference between “loose a condition mostly aesthetic and “fungal infected nails” how to address ‘Loose is a finger and toe nailnails,” condition which isofnot only cosmetic unsightly,or but can alsoimportance, be the forerunner of or hide fungal nailand infections. This article is these problems. about the difference between “loose nails,” a condition of mostly cosmetic or aesthetic importance, and “fungal infected nails” and how to address these problems. LOOSE NAILS

LOOSE NAILS A nail is loose when the nail plate becomes separated from the nail bed. A usually from minor trauma such as an injury thebed. A loose nail is nail loose whenstarts the nail plate becomes separated from theto nail nail, or from jogging,starts nail biting, or aggressive manicuring; or from A loose nail usually from minor trauma such as an injury to the contact with jogging, irritants nail or excessive to manicuring; water. The first sign of a nail, or from biting, orexposure aggressive or from nail becoming loose isora excessive change in exposure its colourto from pinkThe to yellow orof a contact with irritants water. first sign cream. The nailloose however remainsinattached its edges. A loose nail becoming is a change its colouraround from pink to yellow or nail is therefore not ‘loose’ so as ifattached to fall off.around its edges. A loose cream. The nail however remains

nail is therefore not ‘loose’ so as if to fall off. Normal nail Colour change of loose nails Normal Colour change of loose nailsgrowth - an infection that can spread to other nails. This cavitynail under the nail plate is now the ideal habitat for fungal This cavity under the nail plate is now the ideal habitat for fungal growth - an infection that can spread to other nails.

Once loose, and it is ignored, FUNGI OR Once loose,the andnail it isstarts ignored, FUNGI OR NO FUNGI, degenerating NO FUNGI, the nail starts degenerating FUNGAL INFECTED NAILS

Degenerated nails - and it can get much worse than this Degenerated nails - and it can get much worse than this

A fungal infected nail can be treated very effectively with modern day oral anti-fungal treatments; but a loose nail needs to be treated as a ‘loose nail’ FUNGAL INFECTED NAILS whether it is fungal infected not. very effectively with modern day oral anti-fungal treatments; but a loose nail needs to be treated as a ‘loose nail’ A fungal infected nail can be or treated

whether it is fungal infected or not. Let me explain: Imagine both your big toe-nails are loose; let’s say from jogging. The one has a fungal infection, the other not. You start treating the fungal with a very effective day anti-fungal After finishing the anti-fungal treatment, previously fungal Let meinfection explain: Imagine both your bigmodern toe-nails are loose; let’streatment. say from jogging. The one has a fungal infection, thethe other not. You start infected treating nail, the although the fungus now been eradicated, stillanti-fungal looks the same as your other loose nail, which never had a fungus. Both are now freeinfected of funginail, – but fungal infection with has a very effective modern day treatment. After finishing the anti-fungal treatment, the previously fungal both are still although the loose! fungus has now been eradicated, still looks the same as your other loose nail, which never had a fungus. Both are now free of fungi – but both are still loose! What have you achieved? Will you be happy with the results; still having two loose nails? You have achieved nothing regarding their appearance, not so? Ahave looseyou nailachieved? without aWill fungus a loose needs than an nails? anti-fungal for a achieved full recovery. What you is bestill happy withnail the and results; stillmore having twojust loose You have nothing regarding their appearance, not so? A loose nail without a fungus is still a loose nail and needs more than just an anti-fungal for a full recovery. Once a nail is loose the only way it can recover, is for it to re-grow in unison with the nail bed to its original splendour! This is the reason why people often assume prescribed doctor notwith effective; simply it didsplendour! not result in a healthy lookingwhy new nail. Once awrongly nail is loose thethat onlythe wayanti-fungal it can recover, is for itby tothe re-grow inwas unison the nail bed because to its original This is the reason people often wrongly assume that the anti-fungal prescribed by the doctor was not effective; simply because it did not result in a healthy looking new nail. For the nail to re-grow, favourable conditions need to exist under the nail - such as the nail bed being soft and flexible and fungus free. Any living organism, a fungus, needsconditions specific ideal to proliferate; that isastothe survive andbeing flourish. theseand environmental For the nailincluding to re-grow, favourable needconditions to exist under the nail - such nail bed softChange and flexible fungus free.conditions Any living effectively and that organism This is a conditions basic fact of organism, including a fungus, disappears. needs specific ideal tolife. proliferate; that is to survive and flourish. Change these environmental conditions effectively and that organism disappears. This is a basic fact of life.

HOW TO ACHIEVE THIS A pharmacist developed a product in 2007 from a very old formula that does exactly this. The efficiency of this product has been proven over many HOW TO ACHIEVE THIS

decades; and developed relies on the dual action of itsfrom ingredients. Salicylic acid hasdoes keratolitic that is, itofsoftens the accumulated keratinover under the nail A pharmacist a product in 2007 a very old formula that exactlyproperties, this. The efficiency this product has been proven many plate andand withrelies it theon nail also contains benzoic acid, which,acid in combination with the salicylic known properties, as is recorded decades; thebed. dualIt action of its ingredients. Salicylic has keratolitic properties, thatacid is, ithas softens theanti-fungal accumulated keratin under the nail in theand MARTINDALE; the pharmacists ‘bible’ sobenzoic to say. acid, which, in combination with the salicylic acid has known anti-fungal properties, as is recorded plate with it the nail bed. It also contains in the MARTINDALE; the pharmacists ‘bible’ so to say. The product, Fix-4-Nails® therefore causes the under-nail conditions to become suitable for re-growth of nails and unsuitable forFix-4-Nails® fungi; and thetherefore body cancauses and willthe then in most conditions cases growto beautiful their original The product, under-nail becomehealthy suitablenails for to re-growth of nails and splendour. makesand Fix-4-Nails body’s natural restoring healthy by re-growth of their loose,original degenerated unsuitable This for fungi; the bodythé canessential and will AID thenininthe most cases grow beautiful nails to and / or fungal nails. It is thé the essential only product, that knownatural of, thatrestoring addresses unsightly nail condition in splendour. This infected makes Fix-4-Nails AID in thewe body’s bythis re-growth of loose, degenerated this effective ‘dual action’ way.ItFix-4-Nails not need to, know but can used simultaneously with oral and / or fungal infected nails. is the only does product, that we of,be that addresses this unsightly nail antifungal condition in treatments; do action’ not however recommend thenot useneed of any topical application of any sorts theantifungal same time! this effectivewe ‘dual way. Fix-4-Nails does to,other but can be used simultaneously withat oral treatments; we do not however recommend the use of any other topical application of any sorts at ® the same time!

For more information Visit www.loosenails.com or contact: Fix-4-Nails info@fixfornails.co.za or 0861 999 907 For more information Visit www.loosenails.com or contact: Fix-4-Nails® info@fixfornails.co.za or 0861 999 907

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LIFEGUARDS | BEHIND THE SCENES

pictures: craig kolesky/red bull content pool

and now works at Durban’s busy South Beach. ‘It’s a very healthy lifestyle – coming down to the beach, training every day, keeping fit,’ he says. ‘I don’t know where I’d be if I wasn’t a lifeguard. The water is my life.’ Another whose life changed is Wise Mvubu, who grew up in Chesterville, which is relatively far from the sea. ‘There’s a guy where I live who trains groups of six people at a time, preparing them to become lifeguards,’ he says. ‘We learned over one year, then I got my life-saving award in 2010 and my whole life changed.’ Wise has since been given ample opportunities to perform help outs.

TIPS FROM A PRO

Today, he’s one of the full-time lifeguards stationed on Addington Beach, where he says he’s been involved in quite a number of intense rescues. ‘The most serious happened last December, on Boxing Day. Well over 100 people needed to be assisted. I was on water patrol, so I was on the frontline when it happened. A sandbank near the shore collapsed. There were a lot of people in the water. Some fell into the hole, and others who were further out, beyond the collapsed bank, started panicking and running into the hole. It was hectic. A lot of people got into trouble. But we did our job. We cleared the water in about half an hour.’

Durban pro lifeguard Sihle Xaba highlights safety rules for your beach break this summer. ‘My advice to beach goers is to always first check where the lifeguards are on the beach, then be aware of where the red and yellow flags are, so you know where the safe swimming area is, and only swim in between those flags. Don’t swim next to the rocks – that’s a no-go zone. ‘If you do see someone who looks like they’re in trouble, don’t try to rescue them. Rather alert the lifeguards in

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I WON’T LET YOU OUT OF MY SIGHT Wise says as much as he’s fulfilled by opportunities to help people on his watch, he also loves the fitness component of life-saving. ‘I’m an adrenaline junkie and love the competitions,’ he says. His well-honed speed and endurance as a result of ongoing training in and on the water led him to victory at this year’s inaugural Red Bull Beach Patrol competition, held in Durban to celebrate the city’s lifeguard fraternity. ‘It was similar to an interclub life-saving competition,’ he says, ‘but more hardcore, and with the addition of obstacles.’ ‘Competitions are there to simulate rescue situations and hone our ability to save lives,’ adds Michael. ‘They also help develop discipline and keep focus on certain levels of required fitness.’ ‘Life-saving is a big time commitment and a major responsibility,’ explains Rob. ‘Competitions add elements of fun and camaraderie and team building that are a significant reward for the vigilance and service that go into keeping beaches safe.’ The other reward, of course, is the task itself: ‘Saving lives,’ says Sihle. ‘It’s a great reward knowing that someone is alive because of me.’

the unlikely event that they haven’t spotted the situation already. Leave the job of rescue to the trained lifeguards. ‘Alcohol and swimming do not mix, so don’t drink and then come to the beach to swim. And don’t jump in the water immediately after a meal, wait an hour. And please don’t swim fully clothed. ‘If you come to the beach with children, keep a close eye on them. In Durban you can get wristbands from the lifeguards on which you can write their names and a contact number, so you can be contacted if your child gets lost.’

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Make it

rain

Think itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a walk in the park putting a world-class song-and-dance show together? Seth Wood discovers differently when he goes behind the scenes of Singinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; in the Rain, which will be getting Cape Town audiences wet this month.

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SINGIN’ IN THE RAIN | BEHIND THE SCENES

‘I

t was three days of dance hell. Two tap numbers, one jazz routine and a ballet piece. Four routines that we had to learn in a day and then we were made to run them over and over. An entire day of auditions just learning those dances. And in between we’d have to pop out and sing and then come back the next day for the acting. It was really intense – because there were so many boxes that needed to be ticked. And I wasn’t as fit as I should have been. It was gruelling as hell – three crazy days.’ Hellish though his audition seemed, the hard work and talent paid off for awardwinning, triple-threat performer Grant Almirall. Last seen on local stages as

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Frankie Valli in another hit musical, Jersey Boys, the 36-year-old landed what’s regarded as one of the most exhaustingly physical roles in any musical: Don Lockwood in Singin’ in the Rain. He’s had some pretty big shoes to fill, not least of which are those of Gene Kelly, who played the role in the 1952 MGM movie upon which this stage production is based. ‘It really was a massively gruelling process,’ admits Anton Luitingh, the show’s resident director, who was part of the auditioning team. ‘We saw hundreds of people, including highly experienced performers, recent graduates, and also random people thinking it’s an Idols audition. As always with these big

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musicals, there were some embarrassing moments, but we did try screening applicants so the international director didn’t have to sit through anyone singing “Happy Birthday” from sheet music.’

CHASING THE STEPS Gruelling though auditions were, they were only the start of a relentless rehearsal period. Part of what made the requirements for this production seem so extreme is that the show is the latest in a string of international touring musicals produced in South Africa with local talent, using the blueprint of a major West End or Broadway musical. Stringent quality requisites and high degrees of professionalism mean that these shows need to match, if not better, what’s seen on the world’s foremost stages. ‘The international approach to dancers’ discipline is pretty relentless,’ says Anton. ‘It’s 100% all the time. These performers might be doing something they love, but

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it’s not a hobby. They’re athletes and, like professional athletes, they train every day. And just as a sprinter is chasing a better time, these guys are chasing a better performance, executing these moves until their leg gets slightly higher, till it gets to where it needs to be.’ ‘It’s very fast,’ says Grant of the energy required to pull off the choreography. ‘There’s a lot of tapping and a lot of beats per second. For a long time during rehearsals, I was just trying to keep up with the choreography. I was working to a point where I was controlling the choreography, rather than being controlled by it. So that was the biggest hurdle: building stamina and endurance.’

LEAN, MEAN DANCING MACHINES ‘Part of the show’s “wow” factor,’ says Anton, ‘is the complexity of the choreography combined with sheer duration. A particular high point for

audiences is Don Lockwood’s crazy-long nonstop dancing in Act One.’ That sequence pushes the show’s leading man to the limits, and requires mastery of a range of dance styles as a pas de deux goes straight into a huge, fast-tap number, followed immediately by another tap routine, and then the much-anticipated ‘Singin’ in the Rain’ number with all its balletic dancing around in the wet and rain, which finally brings the act to a crowd-pleasing close. ‘It’s an exhausting succession of dances,’ says Grant, ‘after which you simply die backstage while spending interval regaining stamina for another gigantic 12-minute dance in Act Two. ‘On top of all that, the soundtrack is performed live, so if our conductor has a particularly fast day, we have a harder time trying to keep up with the music.’ ‘Part of the rehearsal process,’ says Anton, ‘is getting everyone’s stamina up to speed. The only breaks were if they

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BEHIND THE SCENES | SINGIN’ IN THE RAIN

scenes chaos, as some 12 000 litres of water spray down from above and simultaneously flood up from beneath the stage to create the desired effect during the iconic rain dancing. ‘And the scene is joyous and uplifting,’ says Grant, ‘so if you slip, you need to pick yourself up and carry on – you’ve just got to laugh it off.’

WET WORK needed to pee or were having lunch, because for the rest it was dancing, dancing, dancing. During those six weeks of rehearsals, I saw bodies change in front of my eyes. They became like machines – they became super toned and they dropped weight. ‘In the end, everyone on stage is meant to make it look easy. At some point during rehearsals, they eventually pass the point where they can’t breathe, think they’re going to fall over or imagine they’ll never survive. Like the athletes they are, they reach a stage when their bodies adapt to the physical exertion and they’re able to make it look like they’re having the time of their lives. Because that’s their job.’

SNAP DANCING Even with everything that goes into honing their bodies, pulled muscles and twisted ankles occasionally took their

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toll during the rehearsals. And major setbacks can strike without warning, as Grant discovered when he fractured the fifth metatarsal in his foot while doing a gentle run-through in preparation for the show’s opening in Singapore. ‘We weren’t even dancing full out. I was literally walking through the numbers – just for memory’s sake because it’d been a month since our last show in New Zealand. I jumped, landed skew on my foot, and snapped the bone.’ Which is not to say that Grant hadn’t already had a number of slips on stage during actual performances. Part of the great thrill of the show is the singing and dancing that happens in the eponymous rain, which is also the show’s key technical element. Rain and sloshy puddles not only ramp up the show’s production values, but complicate the dancing and add tremendously to that behind-the-

Creating on-stage rain and puddles is actually quite complicated, especially with the presence of so much lighting and electrics. To pull it off without electrocuting anyone, causing a fire or getting the actual stage wet, the technical team created what is essentially a very shallow swimming pool on the stage, where all the water gathers. Above this is a board that serves as the pavement on which Don dances. Water rains down from nozzles mounted across three bars above the stage. And, in order to create the desired effect, water simultaneously rises from beneath the planks as the shallow ‘pool’ floods, ensuring there’s sufficient water for Don to kick and splash about as he dances. Part of that choreography involves intentionally splashing the auditorium’s front rows, creating a bit of a theme-park moment in the show. ‘A special high-density plastic is used for everything that gets wet, because if we used wood, it would rot,’ explains Anton.

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SINGIN’ IN THE RAIN | BEHIND THE SCENES

‘And that flooded pool also drains itself at the end of the number. Once it’s rained and drained, the water is stored in the wings in two massive water tanks – recycled for the next rain sequence, and then again for the next show.’

THE WORLD’S A STAGE By the time Singin’ in the Rain opens in Cape Town, where it was rehearsed almost a year ago, it would have had just over 130 performances – in Auckland and Wellington, Singapore, Manila and Hong Kong. As resident director, Anton says part of his job is also to keep the cast fresh, energised and enthused about the show. ‘They need to still be passionate about what they’re doing a year down the line,’ he says. ‘It’s inevitable that, as actors, they start inventing ways to keep themselves entertained on stage, and we need to avoid that, keeping the story fresh without the performers changing the show, playing up laugh lines or adding bits in that don’t belong. Keeping it fresh and honest can be a challenge after such a long run. It’s not really possible to maintain the same level of adrenaline that everyone was pumping with on opening night.

‘To some extent,’ adds Anton, ‘performing in front of audiences with vastly different cultural backgrounds does help keep it fresh and interesting. We get vastly different reactions in different parts of the world. In the Philippines, for example, people are very vocal – they laugh out loud and clap frequently. In Singapore, they’re very conservative, with almost no vocal reaction during the show.’ Anton believes exposure to a more international scene has been invaluable for the growth of musical theatre in South Africa. ‘We’re exposed to this huge pool

of highly experienced creative talent from Australia, America, London. They come here and work firsthand with our performers and give us the opportunity to be part of shows that are global cultural phenomena. ‘Importantly, such international exposure opens the eyes of local performers to the way theatre operates beyond our borders. We’re learning to do these productions faster and faster, a by-product of working with skilled people. When we first did Cats 15-odd years ago, we rehearsed for nothing less than eight weeks and we’ve been shaving off time – which is money – ever since, steadily gaining more experience and achieving international recognition. Sometimes, these interactions result in local performers being absorbed into foreign productions, which can be a huge career boost. ‘Most importantly, when we take these shows overseas, it means South African artists have a shot at international limelight. Their brilliance and talent and creative energy have an opportunity to be considered in the broader scheme of things, rather than only being seen by South African directors and audiences.’

pictures: hagen hopkins, supplied

GET WET

Singin’ in the Rain will be showing at the Artscape Opera House in Cape Town from 11 December 2015 to 10 January 2016. The production immediately transfers to the Teatro at Montecasino in the new year, running from 15 January to 13 March 2016. The first three rows are the designated ‘Splash Zone’ – rain gear is provided. Tickets from Computicket.

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The year that

wut?

No news is good news. But there’s never no news. And it’s not all good news. Here’s our roundup of the news that made the news in 2015. By Trevor Crighton. TO THE FIREPOOL!

President Zuma has remained optimistically tight-lipped about the quarter-of-a-billion rand South African taxpayers spent to have the word ‘firepool’ added to the Oxford English Dictionary. The project to upgrade presidential homestead Nkandla began in May 2009, with a total projected cost of R27-million. By March 2010, that amount had almost tripled. By completion, the total cost of installing a chicken run, visitor centre and a ‘retaining wall’ had run to almost 10 times the original budget. Public Protector Thuli Madonsela said Zuma had ‘benefited unduly’ from these ‘upgrades’. Police Minister Nathi Nhleko’s report said these features were ‘vital’. Parliament adopted his report. EFF members were ejected from Parliament by men in white shirts for asking difficult questions, and the phrase ‘Pay back the money’ entered the South African lexicon (and became the EFF ringtone).

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THREE’S A CROWD Did he? Did she? Did they? The South African entertainment industry’s quest for Kardashian-level drama stepped up a notch when rumours surfaced that rapper AKA had been ‘congratulating’ media personality Bonang Matheba while his girlfriend DJ Zinhle was pregnant with the pair’s first child. Shortly after the news broke, AKA and DJ Zinhle released a statement saying that they’d be splitting up. Later, DJ Zinhle blogged that she’d found out that the pair had been seeing each other for five months, after ‘having an honest conversation’ with the rapper. Bonang denied the allegations via her PR team, while her legal team examined their options. AKA called on the media to ‘stop creating unnecessary drama’. Twitter went bonkers and past lovers were drawn into the spat. Presumably there are competing reality shows in the works…

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YEAR IN REVIEW | SPECIAL FEATURE

THE DAILY NOAH On 28 September, Trevor Noah slipped into the chair Jon Stewart vacated on The Daily Show, and South Africans lost their minds. Not since Chris Maroleng told Andre Visagie not to touch him on his studio have South Africans been that interested in what happened behind a desk on a TV show. Our Trev played up the stereotyped view Americans have of Africa in his first show, but soon settled into his groove and delivered some of the sniping that had made The Daily Show a firm favourite amongst Americans who can point out other countries on a map. TV shows live and die by their ratings, but with a strong writing team, Our Trev has every chance of supplanting Charlize Theron as SA’s hottest entertainment export.

ELON MUSK POWERS THE WORLD Elon Musk continued his quest to become a comic-book-grade super-villain when he announced a solution to global electricity challenges: the Tesla Powerwall. We all rejoiced that one of our own had shown Eskom the middle finger until it became clear that a Powerwall installation would cost more than an arm and a leg, and that locals would be on a waiting list long enough to give contractors at Medupi Power Station a fair shot at actually firing the place up first.

MARS WATER Many thought it was an elaborate marketing strategy for Matt Damon’s latest movie, The Martian, but it turns out scientists had actually discovered evidence of what NASA teeth-grindingly referred to as ‘liquid water’ on the surface of Mars. Having pondered, for years, the meaning of dark streaks lining the inner and outer surfaces of craters on the planet’s surface, NASA announced in September that they were definitive evidence of flowing water.

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YEAR IN REVIEW | SPECIAL FEATURE

HOMO NALEDI The most amazing thing about the discovery of Homo naledi was not that scientists had uncovered a missing link in the chain of human evolution, but rather that despite including hundreds of people from around the world in a massive two-year exploration and excavation project, nobody posted a single selfie with our newest fossil ancestor before the official announcement of the find. Discovered in 2013 in the Cradle of Humankind World Heritage Site and revealed to the world in 2015, Homo naledi is a new, tiny-brained, ape-like link to humans’ distant past. Creationists revolted, evolutionists crowed, Zwelinzima Vavi cried ‘racism’, and the world learnt how to pronounce ‘naledi’.

#FEESMUSTFALL Both students and security forces gave South Africans a taste of 1976 when rubber bullets, teargas and rocks flew across the country over the #FeesMustFall protests. Students, having failed to get satisfactory responses from university councils regarding fee increases, took to the streets, shutting down city centres and bringing vice chancellors to the floor to debate issues with them. The Western Cape High Court took an interesting decision to interdict the rallying hashtag, which, according to

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University of Johannesburg journalism professor Jane Duncan, ‘means that anyone using the hashtag and engaging in such speech would be guilty of a crime’. If SANRAL can’t enforce e-tag payments, we can’t wait to see how – or who – goes about arresting people for using a hashtag. Protests culminated in ugly clashes with police as students took their protests to the Union Buildings, and after student leaders met with President Zuma, he must have been delighted to announce a simple number for once: ‘0% increase in fees in 2016.’

HUNGARIAN WOMAN TACKLES SYRIAN REFUGEE CRISIS Literally. With Europe struggling to contain the influx of refugees from Syria and beyond, everyone was looking for a solution. Hungarian TV camerawoman Petra Lazlo’s answer was to trip and kick refugees fleeing across the Serbia-Hungary border. She was caught on camera deliberately tripping Osama Abdul Mohsen, who was carrying his seven-year-old son Zaid at the time. The video spread around the world, social media deliberated, judged and Petra lost her job. She’s subsequently sued both Mohsen and Facebook, but unless she manages to enlist Denny Crane as her lawyer, it’s unlikely her case will get very far.

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SPECIAL FEATURE | YEAR IN REVIEW

VOLKSWAGEN’S DIESEL DUPE The manufacturers of the people’s car paid the price for having someone with the surname ‘Lies’ on their board when they were caught cheating US emissions tests, being forced to admit that about 11-million of their cars around the world were fitted with the ‘defeat device’. The device masked the fact that the engines emitted levels of nitrogen-oxide pollutants in excess of 40 times the legal limit in the US. CEO Martin Winterkorn resigned – having ousted Chairman Ferdinand Piech in April after the pair had a disagreement about an ‘unspecified issue’ rumoured to be centred on ‘challenges around breaking into the lucrative US market’, according to industry insiders. Clearly…

Heyneke Meyer predicted the Boks would make history at the World Cup. Well, they did in their first match when they lost to the Cherry Blossoms of Japan, thanks to a last-minute try from a New Zealand-born player – a double whammy of disappointment. To their credit, the Boks picked themselves up and fought their way through to a thrilling semifinal encounters, when they were trounced by a whole team of New Zealanders. This, after the previously unheard of Agency for New Agenda tried to keep the Boks out of the tournament in the first place with an urgent court application, on the basis that the squad wasn’t sufficiently representative of the South African population. England proved that playing in all-white (their kit, their kit!) does nobody any good…

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GRUMPY TRUMP Donald Trump used to be known as a marginally eccentric multibillionaire with a passion for interchangeable blonde wives, gravity-defying hair and a seemingly insatiable interest in gilded excess. But then, in the third quarter of 2015, he announced his candidacy for the Republican nomination for the US presidency and told everyone how he really felt – about everything. On immigration: ‘When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re not sending you. They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and

they’re bringing those problems with. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people.’ On African-Americans and African immigrants: ‘Some Africans are lazy fools only good at eating, lovemaking and stealing. I hear they abuse me in their blogs, but I don’t care because even the internet they are using is ours and we can decide to switch it off… These are people who import everything, including matchsticks. In my opinion, most of these African countries ought to be recolonised again for another 100 years…’

pictures: supplied, istock, thinkstock

SPRINGBOK TRANSFORMATION

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DRIVE | ACTION

On top of the world Ford has made its new Everest bigger, better and more capable than ever before. David Taylor aims for the summit.

pictures: supplied

he Ford Everest was last seen in South Africa about five years ago and, like the R50 voucher you’ll receive from a distant relative this Christmas, was pretty forgettable. Roll on 2015 and Ford’s new Everest promises much, much more. Just look at it! It’s a big, bold American SUV that screams, ‘Hell yeah!’ and it looks like it could take on anything. And it can take on anything, as Ford has engineered the new Everest to be a serious contender both on and off-road. You get a low-range gearbox, electronically locking rear diff and some off-road driving modes. It offers a ground clearance of 225mm and can cross water to a depth of 800mm. You can also fit a towbar as an option,

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which gives you a generous towing capacity for those extra-large loads. You’d think this big Yank tank is a gas-guzzlin’, yee-ha petrol V8, but in reality there’s a rather useful and fuelfriendly 3.2-litre diesel motor. It has done duty in the current Ranger bakkie, so it’s experienced and reliable. The cabin is a great place to hang out, too. There are seven seats as standard and the third row can be neatly stowed into the boot at the touch of a button, giving it some serious carrying capacity. Features are generous and the Ford Everest comes loaded to the hilt with gadgetry. There are two USB ports, an SD card slot and aux input, as well as four 12V sockets. There’s also a

220V plug point for the second row of passengers. If charging devices while on the road is a concern, then this vehicle has all the bases covered. Other nifty features include comfy heated front seats, motorised tailgate, LED daytime-running lights, active park assist, adaptive cruise control, blind-spot monitoring, tyre-pressure monitors and a very fancy touchscreen system. It also comes with a smart Bluetooth system called SYNC that responds to voice commands. You tell it to do something like play a song off your Bluetooth-connected cellphone and it will – no questions asked! Priced from R593 900, the Ford Everest makes a great case for itself as an off-road family vehicle.

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ACTION | DRIVE

NISSAN QASHQAI

ii Representing the entry-level end of the leisure market, the Nissan Qashqai offers a lot of car for a not-too-unreasonable amount of money. There are an array of engines to choose from, but we recommend the diesel, which offers a decent blend of economy and performance. From R289 900.

TOYOTA HILUX

Five best cars for towing

ii South Africans have trusted the Toyota Hilux bakkie for longer than some of us can remember. The new Hilux, due to be released in SA early next year, capatalises on this loyalty and brings an even better model to the fore. With a towing capacity of up to 3 200kg, there’s almost nothing it can’t pull around. Price still to be released.

AUDI Q7

ii Fresh off the boat, the new Audi Q7 promises a lot in terms of interior space and vacation ability. While we haven’t sampled the latest incarnation of Audi’s super SUV, we’re told it’s really good. It comes with a very clever tow assist, which automatically reverses your trailer for you. From R924 000.

LAND ROVER DISCOVERY 4

ii With its 2.0-litre diesel engine and all-wheel-drive ability, the Subaru Outback is a proper Jack of all trades. Not only is it an excellent towing vehicle, but it’s also a supremely competent off-roader and is able of matching the best in the 4x4 world. From R489 000.

text: david taylor; pictures: supplied

SUBARU OUTBACK

Going away this December? Need to pull a trailer packed to the hilt or a boat? Here are five beasts that make light work of towing.

ii What’s a list about off-roading and towing without mention of a Land Rover? I’ve opted for the Discovery as opposed to the Range Rover line-up, as I feel it’s more affordable and can pretty much go anywhere. If you’re wanting to tow or go off-road, this is a hard product to fault. From R731 386.

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DRIVE | ACTION

Augment the driver in you With the roads busier than ever over the holidays, it pays to dwell on some details before you drive.

he Global Status on Road Safety Report 2015 indicates that 1.25-million people are killed each year on the world’s roads, and that this figure has plateaued since 2007. In the face of rapidly increasing motorisation, this stabilisation of an otherwise projected increase in deaths is an indication of the progress that has been made in several parts of the world. However, efforts in South Africa to reduce road-traffic deaths are clearly

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insufficient if the international road safety targets set in the Sustainable Development Goals – a halving of deaths by 2020 – are to be met, according to Advocate Johan Jonck from Arrive Alive. If you’re flying to your destination, chances are you may rent a car upon arrival, which means you’re at the helm of a machine that you’re probably not familiar with. ‘Imagine that your daily drive is a certain luxury sedan, with a

healthy amount of performance, both in speed and braking,’ says Johan. ‘Now imagine that you’ve arrived in Cape Town and you’ve been given the keys to a compact hatchback with a 1.0-litre engine. Driving the hatchback, arguably, requires much more effort than you are normally used to in your luxury sedan. For instance, you’re sitting in a completely different driving position, the critical controls may not be where you think they are and so on.’

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ACTION | DRIVE

Johan adds that it remains critical that every driver on the road is able to consider how he or she affects the flow of traffic, and that renting the right car can make a difference in preventing incidents on the road.

TECH TOCK ‘Developments in the technology sector have been both good and bad for road safety,’ says Johan. ‘On one hand, in the automotive sector, we have telematics companies that are able to provide succinct information on driving habits and routes. On the other hand, developments in car technology, such as cruise control, ABS and other features, have allowed motorists to become too relaxed behind the wheel.’ This could result in drivers relying on their car’s technology as a safety net when driving recklessly, leading to unnecessary incidents on the road. ‘Traction control and anti-lock brakes are not fitted to a vehicle for the driver to

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challenge the laws of gravity, especially on a public road,’ says Johan, ‘but this happens regularly. As cars become faster and more powerful and more accessible to the public, we need to be mindful that South Africa’s car park is diverse and so too is its pool of drivers.’ Johan says that automotive telematics systems, however, could assist South Africans in becoming better drivers. ‘Telematics units have evolved from simply being able to track a car based on its previously triangulated location to allowing live feeds of how fast the car may be travelling at any particular point in time. This assists in planning of routes, taking into account the flow of traffic, and will generally give the driver a better understanding of the location that he or she is heading towards, and what the conditions are going to be like on the road for the duration of the journey.’ Pierre Bruwer, managing director at Ctrack vehicle tracking, adds that

having a telematics suite in your car, whether it’s parked at home or at the airport while you’re away, gives added peace of mind for travellers. ‘Telematics systems are able to provide information on the vehicle while you are away through SMS or mobile application,’ explains Pierre. ‘This means that you never have to worry about your car being stolen while on holiday, or being taken for a joyride if you’re leaving it at home.’ Ctrack also offers Advanced Protector, a bundle of value-added services and support, from SOS panic and medical and roadside assistance to home drive, giving drivers additional peace of mind on the road. The point, from a telematics perspective, is that everyone deserves a safe and stress-free holiday. For more info on becoming a better driver, visit arrivealive.co.za. For more on Ctrack’s telematics systems, check out ctrack.co.za.

text: supplied by ctrack; pictures: istock

EVERYONE DESERVES A SAFE AND STRESS-FREE HOLIDAY

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PROPERTY | STUFF

VIP

guest list

am the type of hostess who tries to think of everything when I have guests to stay – be it my folks for the weekend or a houseful of guests for the holidays. Flowers on the dressing table, iPod dock with FM tuner, diffuser to give the room a welcoming scent, a variety of towels to choose from, hair dryer and even a few hair products. I take inspiration from some of the hotels I’ve stayed in and I want my guests to feel the full hotel experience (without the cost, of course, no matter how tempting it might be to charge them), while being comfortable and feeling like ‘part of the family’. Here are some tips and ideas to prepare your home to welcome guests, and leave them feeling pampered and

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comfortable, but like part of the family (hopefully not that annoying boozy uncle, though).

GUEST-READY AUDIT Before calling in the industrial cleaners, stripping the floors and rushing into buying new things, take a step back and do a guest-ready audit. This means taking a look at your home from a practical and aesthetic perspective, and seeing where it needs a tweak here and there – be it that frayed rug in the living room, your dicey dishwasher or that broken entrance hall light bulb. Think of your audit as more of a maintenance routine; that way, the money you invest will benefit your home

Getting your home primed to welcome guests – and making them feel like royalty – isn’t as difficult as you may think, says Kerry Hayes.

in the long run. Focus on the areas that your guests will frequent the most – guest bedroom and bathroom, living room and kitchen – as these are where your biggest efforts will lie.

SUITE DEAL The guest suite is where your guests will spend most of their time, from unwinding after a long day at [insert popular local tourist attraction or any beach if you live on the coast] to catching 40 winks after lunch. Look at things that need refreshing or even replacing. Light bulbs are a good start: go for energy-efficient bulbs if you can, as additional people in your home will mean more electricity used.

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STUFF | PROPERTY

Fresh bedding and towels are absolutely essential. It’s nice to buy new linen and towels for your guests, but not necessarily affordable, so make sure you launder your nicest fluffies right before your guests arrive. If you’re unsure whether to get feather or foam pillows, find out from your guests beforehand if they have allergies and, if not, get one set of each. A handwritten welcome note and chocolate on the pillow add a thoughtful and very hotel-like touch. On the subject of hotel amenities, it’s really nice to have a little tea/coffee station in your guest room, with a kettle, a few mugs and teaspoons, and a selection of teas and coffees. Don’t forget the sugar and sugar alternatives! Also have a water jug and a few glasses at your station. In the bathroom, ensure that you have new, fresh soaps and a hand-wash

dispenser in place. Many people forget about the all-important supply of toilet paper – ensure that you have a sufficient stock of loo paper, placed in a logical position so guests can find it quickly and easily after that Indian curry night. Then apply the small touches: put a radio alarm clock in the room and set the right time (especially if guests are coming from abroad); prepare a selection of shampoos, body washes, shaving creams, toothpaste and fresh toothbrushes; and leave the room with a spritz of room spray.

LOUNGING ABOUT Your guests will also be spending a lot of time in the lounge – with you at the end of the day, and also sometimes without you if you still have to work during a part of their stay. If rugs and scatter cushions are looking a little tatty, replace these with new ones that work with your

colour scheme and the season – soft furnishings like these are inexpensive and bring new life to a room. Steam clean your curtains or power dust your blinds, and if your walls are a bit worse for wear, now is a great time to give them a new coat of paint. If you are one of those who likes Woofles to join you on the couch for an episode of Downton Abbey, have some consideration for your guests who may not appreciate dogs on the furniture, and cover your pooch’s couch with a throw (after cleaning it), that can be taken off when your guests are there.

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PROPERTY | STUFF

CATERING TO ALL Ensure that all kitchen appliances are in working order, from the kettle and toaster to the dishwasher and washing machine. Once that is done, stock your fridge and cupboards with a variety of snacks and beverages to which your guests can easily help themselves. Include decaffeinated teas and coffees in your bevvy of beverages, and find out from your guests if any of them has any particular food allergies or requirements. Then cater accordingly. Many people these days seem to have an intolerance to gluten and a bit of research before they arrive will go a long way in ensuring your guests stay healthy and comfortable during their stay.

pictures: supplied

ALL THE SMALL THINGS Small touches rarely go unnoticed by visitors to your home and just add that much more finesse to their experience: • A map book and list of nearby points of interest, favourite restaurants and shops gives your guests some food for thought on keeping busy. • Include a little note with your Wi-Fi login details, in case they want to get some work done while on holiday. • Life still goes on when you have guests to stay, so make them aware of routines that you still need to stick

•

to, like children’s bath times or school times, so they are comfortable with the household activities and can adjust their plans to fit in. In winter, make a hot-water bottle or two available and, similarly, a fan in summer. Also provide a few light blankets that your guests can layer on their beds for ideal comfort. Have things like an adaptor, surge protector, sun block, hairdryer and aspirin available in the guest bedroom. A customised selection of books and local magazines will give your guests some reading material in their downtime. Extra hangers are always welcome!

• If your guests include children, ensure that all the necessary areas in your home are baby-proofed. And have a selection of toys and activities to keep the kids busy. • When your guests are there, involve them in household activities such as setting the table, making a salad to go with lunch or, in the case of that uncle, opening a bottle of wine. This will help them feel like part of the family and more integrated into the family’s routine. For more home and décor inspiration, visit sahomeowner.co.za.

PROVIDE A FEW LIGHT BLANKETS THAT YOUR GUESTS CAN LAYER ON THEIR BEDS kulula.com

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STUFF | MONEY MATTERS

A time to give Tis the season of giving, although we're not only talking about presents for loved ones. Why not add some festive cheer to those in need this Christmas? Heck, why not make giving to charity part of your monthly budget in the new year? asks Katherine Graham.

HOW SHOULD YOU GIVE? You can donate your time, expertise or money. When giving financially, you can commit to a monthly debit order or you can

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give a one-off amount. If you're feeling exceptionally generous, you can bequeath part of your estate to a charity. ‘The impact of a bequest on an organisation can be significant and if the bequest is large, it's a real game changer, especially if this income is invested to help sustain the organisation over the long term,’ Sarah says.

WHO SHOULD YOU GIVE TO? It's always a good idea to align the charity you're sponsoring to the cause that you feel most passionately about – be it orphaned children, wildlife conservation or homeless people. ‘Your donation should connect with where your heart is invested,’ says Kim Griffith Jones of the Robin Hood Foundation, which distributes clothes to disadvantaged mothers and their kids. ‘Look at your immediate community to identify needs and act on those,’ advises Stanley Bawden, MD of Living Link, a training centre that assists intellectually disadvantaged people.

DIGITAL GENEROSITY – THINK OUT THE BOX There are a number of great online platforms for giving. Check out these websites: • forgood.co.za • different.org • givengain.com • backabuddy.com • thundafund.co.za

SHOULD THERE BE STRINGS ATTACHED? Yes. For one thing, make sure the charity you're supporting is transparent in the way they're spending your money. Also make sure you receive a tax certificate for your donations. ‘All debitorder donors should receive an annual aggregate tax receipt at the end of the tax year,’ says Susan Daly of Kids Haven. The old saying that it's better to give than to receive is true. In fact, it's been scientifically proven that human beings are wired for kindness and that giving is good for you. ‘By helping organisations, you will not only make a real difference,’ says Louise, ‘but you will notice a change in your attitude from helplessness to positivity. You will be part of the solution of co-creating a better future for everyone in our country.'

picture: freepik

hen times are tough, it’s easy to focus on yourself and forget about those in need around you. ‘The impact of our economic slowdown is felt most acutely by social enterprises and traditional charities,’ says Louise van Rhyn of Partners for Possibility, which focuses on improving education in South Africa. All the more reason, she says, to make charitable giving a priority in 2016. ‘The nonprofit sector plays a critical role in filling the country's service-delivery gaps, providing essential services to vulnerable communities,’ explains Sarah Scarth, South African representative of international charity Resource Alliance. ‘Thousands of NPOs depend on the generosity of ordinary people in order for them to carry out their work.’ The good news, she says, is that SA is a nation of givers. According to a recent study by the Charities Aid Foundation Southern Africa, 94% of people surveyed in Gauteng donate goods, 84% donate money and 56% donate time to charities, mainly because they believe their help can make a difference.

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BUSINESS | STUFF

Switching on Richard Mulholland of Missing Link explains why it pays to think forward to the back-to-school period.

picture: istock

o you and I have something in common. There you are, sitting in your seat on a kulula flight, reading this mag, and here I am, sitting in my usual seat on a kulula flight (1C, if you’re curious) writing for it. We have something else in common, too. We’re tired. It’s December. The year’s very nearly done and you’re probably getting ready for, or have just had, your annual office yearend function. At this stage in the year, there’s very little left in the tank. I’ve run my own business since I was 23 (that’s 17 years for those of you keeping score), and people often think I’m this workaholic entrepreneur. I’m forever asked, ‘Do you find it difficult to switch off when you go on holiday?’ To this I have to laugh, as nothing could be further from the truth. I find it super easy to switch off when I’m on holiday. Hell, in some particularly boring meetings, I find it easy to check out before I’m even home… But I digress; meetings will be the victim of a future column. ‘No,’ I always reply, ‘I don’t find it difficult to switch off in December. What I do find to be rather difficult, though, is to switch back on in January.’

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To me, we spend far too much time holding parties to end off the year with a bang. Don’t get me wrong: I completely understand the need to celebrate a year well spent. However, we don’t spend nearly enough time kick-starting the

New Year – and this is the event that really counts! It amazes me how often we’ll be asked to assist companies in creating content to get their staff motivated in December. ‘Let’s let them leave on a high,’ they tell me. ‘Let’s give them something to think about over the holidays,’ they say. You know what? They don’t. The only thing people are (and should be) thinking about on holiday is the holiday itself. No, what we should be doing is spending more time on the ‘backto-school’ parties. Come January, the tank is full again, the team is ready to go – and what do we do? Nothing. It’s simply back to work for you. We’re missing a trick here, people. We’re missing a chance to really shoot out of the starting blocks. So here’s my challenge to all the bosses and managers: when you get off this plane, send yourself an email with the subject line ‘Back to school’, and include a pic of this column if you need context. Then, in January, plan something big for your team. You’ll be amazed at the impact it can have. In the meantime, though, try to switch off. That saucy novel ain’t gonna read itself.

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STUFF | BUSINESS

Going to the source Outsourcing has been big news of late. Katherine Graham gets the lowdown on what it means for business.

BENEFITS OF OUTSOURCING ‘Outsourcing allows businesses to focus on their core activities, without the added responsibility of having to recruit, train and performance-manage support staff,’ explains Alex. He says the use of specialist companies also results in higher levels of service, as a result of their skills and knowledge. ‘Outsourcing on a large scale can also be more cost-effective than trying to perform such services in-house.’ Whether it’s facilities management, security, parking, cleaning or landscaping, there are a multitude of functions that can be outsourced. ‘Good outsourced providers deliver value to their clients,’ explains

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Dr John Wentzel, CEO of Drake & Scull, a subsidiary of Tsebo Outsourcing Group. ‘This comes from more efficient operations, better quality delivery and optimised cost delivery. When a company chooses to outsource, it frees up management to focus on the heart of the business, ultimately producing better shareholder returns.’

WHAT FUNCTIONS SHOULD BE OUTSOURCED? ‘I think it depends on where a business is in its journey,’ says Russell Jarvis, head of communications at Travelstart, which works with many freelancers. ‘For example, a new company without a lot of capital would be more likely to explore outsourcing payroll processing to keep costs down. On the other hand, an established company is less likely to even consider it, perhaps viewing outsourcing their payroll as a security risk.’ Some would even argue that core functions could be outsourced. ‘There are global companies that outsource everything and merely manage the brand, but this is less common,’ says John. Servest’s Alex estimates that 50 to 75% of all SA companies make use of some form of outsourcing in a normal trading year, with very few firms choosing to do everything in-house.

WAY OF THE FUTURE? ‘The freelance marketplace is one which has certainly gathered momentum in recent years,' says Russell, 'as many skilled workers are discovering the freedom and financial rewards that working remotely affords them, while companies can take advantage of decreasing their payroll demands. Upwork is a good example of a marketplace that connects employers and freelancers, who range from virtual assistants to web developers and accountants. Russell believes it makes sense to outsource over the festive season when staff members are on leave. ‘Nurture relationships with reliable freelancers, whom you can rely on to complete quality work by an agreed deadline and at an agreeable price,’ he says. ‘Seeking out a freelancer as a last-minute solution rarely works well and will only serve to increase your workload, costs and stress.’ Alex says Servest has long-term contracts with their clients, so the festive season has little impact on them. ‘However, many of our clients do either close or reduce operations during the Christmas period, so we adapt to their requirements,’ he says. ‘This flexibility is another benefit of outsourcing.’

picture: istock

hen it comes to outsourcing, how do you determine which company functions to hire out? ‘Companies traditionally outsource non-core functions, effectively those functions that are not critical in delivery of their own product or services,’ says Alex Berndl, group sales and marketing director at Servest SA. Core functions can be defined as those that add to a company’s competitive or strategic advantage, while non-core functions are needed for the day-to-day running of the business but can easily be performed by someone on the outside.

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HEALTH | STUFF

Be summer cool It makes no sense when people starve themselves to get beach-ready bods, but then lounge around the pool with a body-bloating cocktail! Seriously dude, that’s so not summer cool. With that in mind, here’s Raina Julies’ cool vs fool list.

THE FOOL(ISH) LIST

THE COOL(ISH) LIST

ICE SCREAMY

ICE DREAMY

There’s nothing more delectable than a delicious, frosty ice cream as the sun’s rays beat down on your poor body, right? Wrong! Those little cups of soft-serve ice cream can have up to 380 calories and 22 grams of fat.

No need to throw yourself into the pool because ice cream is so high in calories, dahling, just take a pass on the giant portions or high-fat toppings. Look for frozen desserts such as fudge bars, fruit bars or other treats under 150 calories per serving – or choose a fruit dessert such as strawberry shortcake.

SALAD FLOPPERS What could be healthier than a summer salad of crispy green leaves, fresh veggies and protein? Well, salad turns out to be not so lean when you soak it with salad dressing and top it with highcalorie floppers such as crispy chicken, bacon, cheese, croutons and, well, any combination of the above.

DAIQUIRI FATQUIRI Ladies, having an ice-cold glass of strawberry daiquiri on the sidewalk of Camps Bay packs more calories than that groot brekvis or double-patty cheeseburger that’s loaded with sugar, fat and more fat! A piña colada could range between 245-490 calories, a daiquiri between 300-800 calories, and a Long Island iced tea could leave you loaded with 520 extra calories.

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TOP SALADS For a real summer salad to keep your bod sizzling, top your greens with grilled chicken, strips of lean meat or eggs, and then pile on the veggies and forget about the dressing altogether.

UMBRELLA SIPPING Instead of high-calorie drinks such as piñas and alcoholic teas, try wine, a wine spritzer or a mixed drink with seltzer and a splash of 100% fruit juice.

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STUFF | HEALTH

BEST SUMMER NIGHT RECIPE

GAZPACHO 4 cups tomato juice 2 cups chopped seeded tomato 1 3/4 cups chopped unpeeled cucumber 1 cup finely chopped yellow bell pepper 1 cup finely chopped red bell pepper 1/2 cup finely chopped red onion 2 Tbps balsamic vinegar 2 Tbps olive oil 2 garlic cloves, minced 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon black pepper 1/4 cup chopped fresh basil

FRUITY FACTS Did you know that fruit eaters generally weigh less than people who don’t eat fruit? Well, I didn’t, Google sources swear this is a fact. If that’s not enough motivation to get you to the market (or the Woolies fruit section) fast, then maybe these facts will: red, purple and blue fruit are potent sources of antioxidants and vitamins; and some fruit, especially berries, pack up to one-third of your daily fibre needs per serving.

• Combine all ingredients except basil in a large bowl • Cover and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes or up to 24 hours before serving. • Serve in bowls and top with basil.

Host a tea party! Tea has like zero calories, loads of antioxidants and, as we all know, it’s a weight-watcher’s dream drink. To get the best value from your tea, stay away from the bottled variety, which contains lots of sugar, and make your own!

MINTY ICED GREEN TEA Fresh mint leaves Green tea bags Ice Honey or agave Fresh lavender leaves (optional) • Brew the tea bags as normal. • Add ice, mint leaves, honey and lavender leaves. • Serve chilled.

HEALTHY SUMMER FOOD FACT 101 Watermelon packs some fantastic summer dos. It’s a great way to rehydrate after a long day in the sun, as it’s mostly water – in fact, more than 80%. It’s also an even better source of cancer-fighting lycopene than raw tomatoes. And coming in at just under 44 calories per cup, why haven’t you popped a piece into your mouth yet?

pictures: istock, freepik, pixel77

Who wants to slave around a hot pot or braai on a summer’s day? Well, okay, maybe your man or mom-in-law, but not you! Right? So serve a delish chilled soup, and keep the calories down and the appetites at bay. Gazpacho is the perfect meal.

BEST SUMMER IDEA

ZUCCHINI SNACKS

Roll it, grill it, slice it, dice it – or have it sushi style: raw, raw, raw. Zucchinis are the perfect appetisers to serve. With only 20 calories per cup, it has zero fat and cholesterol, and 35% of your daily recommended intake of vitamin C.

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COLUMN | STUFF

Just coasting Ben Trovato battens down the hatches and prepares for the onslaught of inland visitors to the coast.

illustration: pete woodbridge

o we made it to another December. After surviving months of corporate exploitation and cheap office coffee, millions of us are now officially free to do as we please for three whole weeks. Whoopee! Actually, I’m self-employed so I do whatever I please all-year round. Sounds good in practice but not so much on paper, and by paper I mean my bank statements. I can hear briefcases snapping shut, tackle boxes snapping open, champagne corks popping, beer bottles hissing, V8 engines revving, children laughing and wives shouting. I can also hear the sound of paramedics checking their defibrillators, lawyers checking their stopwatches, police officers checking their guns and politicians checking their passports. Hordes of visitors from the hinterland are descending on our beaches, from the east coast to the west, and our roads are jammed with people who drive as if they have never before piloted a vehicle on tar. They slow to a crawl on stretches that would be scenic, only to those who have spent the last 20 years in solitary confinement. They yield at stop signs and stop at yield signs. There is an arm out of every window pointing at something or the other, their eyes shining in slack-jawed amazement. For heaven’s sake, people, you’re visiting Cape Town or Durban,

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not a distant planetary nebula in the Andromeda Galaxy. Whenever I need to top up my flagging blood-alcohol levels, it takes an hour to reach my local pub. I’m thinking of adapting my car’s hooter to sound like gunfire. It’s the only way to get Jo’burg drivers to move over. The entire coastline from Kosi Bay to Port Nolloth will soon be awash in broken brandy bottles, fish-hooks and half-chewed chop bones. Caravan sites

are already beginning to look like refugee camps, and mounds of steaming pink flesh cover the beaches like a mass stranding of albino orcas. Grown men wee on each other to relieve the bluebottle stings, while silly children put jellyfish on their heads and shout, ‘Look at my hat!’ before dropping to the sand with a head full of fried brains. Grandmothers are impaled by flying beach umbrellas, and the odour of coconut oil and sacrificial lambs drifts from town to town in toxic clouds that make Chernobyl seem like a gas leak by comparison. Normal men who should know better are waddling about in yellow budgie smugglers, while musclemen with spray-on tans and bulging biceps take up position centimetres from your towel to play bat-and-ball with such grim determination, you’d think they were in some sort of Wimbledon final for half-naked narcissists. The sound alone is enough to drive you to fire poisontipped darts into their taut little butts. The best thing you could do these holidays is go to Thailand. Tell the family you’re just popping out to the shops and then drive straight to the airport. When you get to Bangkok, call home and tell everyone that they can do whatever the hell they like. It will surely be the best Christmas ever.

DECEMBER 2015

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