Khuluma41

June

2015

FOR THE MENU see pages 2 & 3

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he English language owes a great debt to William Shakespeare. He reinvented more than 1 700 of our common words by changing nouns into verbs, changing verbs into adjectives, connecting words never before used together, adding prefixes and suffixes, and devising

terms wholly original. He’s also credited with having had the largest vocabulary of any writer, utilising more than 28 000 words. One has to wonder whether his audience understood what he was saying, and whether they reverted back to grunts and squawks when ordering from the theatre hot-dog stand – much like attending a Wu-Tang Clan concert today, fo’ shizzle.

In South Africa, we’re also fast developing our own terminology. Just last weekend I had meal-shedding at home due to lack of a clear work surface in the kitchen. The kids blamed it on a third force, but ultimately had to partake in the maintenance festival to restore food-generating capacity before the next visit from the prince of darkness, my bru.

The next South African Willie Wikkelspies would obviously take our dictionary a big step further. Coming from our urban kasi, he would ask whether ’tis hundreds to suffer a snotklap from life, or to call it tjaila. Eish, a luta continua, or don’t give rocks and go pop your clogs – that is the question. You scheme you’re more bang of the graft, the bokgata and strife than being late and chucking this miff pozzie onetime?

Haai, the kwaai gogos and ouballies would recon him a moegoe boytjie, but it’s really 6 no 9. Coz, 300 years ago, the paraat fundis reconned Shakespeak was a zef tsotsi who was klapping English stukkend. Hayibo! Choon me in another 300.

(My apologies to any foreign customers who are having difficulty with Google Translate!)

Erik Venter, CEO: Comair Ltd

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Contents

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39 Regulars

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KWAZULU-NATAL What’s happening in the warmest place in Mzansi?

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DRAWING THE SHORTSTRAW Indie rockers Shortstraw open up about being Youthless

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VIEW FROM THE TOP Our CEO gets his local lingo on

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ÜBER-EDITOR’S LETTER Joe Parker reveals what keeps him young

GARDEN ROUTE Food, fashion and natural wonder along our glorious Garden Route

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GAMES Gaming goodness to make you feel like a kid again

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KULULA PAGES Winter packing tips, and Trev gets français in Franschhoek

TOP TIPPLE Recall your youthful days with these blast-from-the-past drinks

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TECH Get the perfect gift for dad

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BEAUTY The secret to eternal youth lies in these pages (for real)

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COMPETITIONS Win stuff! Lots of stuff

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WESTERN CAPE Everything on the to-do list in and around the Mother City this month

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GAUTENG Get busy, show down, shop till you drop, then sleep it off in Gauteng

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WATCH Silver-screen sensations to warm up winter

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READ Books for kids of all ages

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LISTEN Hear what the young ones are listening to these days

Chat 76

DON’T HATE THE PLAYER Joe hits one into the rough with Gary Player

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DYNAMITE COMES IN SMALL PACKAGES Bothlale Boikanyo chats with Joe about being a kid star

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LOCAL HERO Could the traditional riel dance become a national sport?

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Travel

94 Where the boys are

An all-boys’ adventure to the Richtersveld 102 Paradise lost and found

A trip to Mauritius turns up more than expected

Action

108 Behind the scenes

The other side of graffiti artists 116 Behind the scenes

A Spartacus of Africa is more than just another ballet 125 Drive

Onwards and upwards with the new Volkswagen UP!

and five budget student cars

Stuff

129 Property Alternative ways to cook your food (without Eskom) 134 Money Matters Learning to save from a young age can actually be a good thing 137 Health Stay forever young with these health tips 139 Column

Ben Trovato bites his nails at his annual check-up

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EDITORIAL Editor Anthony Sharpe – anthonys@picasso.co.za Content Manager Raina Julies Content Co-ordinator Vanessa Payne Copy Editor Lynn Berggren ART Head of Design Studio Jayne Macé-Ferguson Designers Anja Hagenbuch, Mfundo Ndzo Design Intern Johan Labuschagne Production Editor Shamiela Brenner Cover Photograph Morné van Zyl Make-up Artist Natasha Rees-Davies SALES Business Manager Robin Carpenter-Frank – robinc@picasso.co.za Project Manager Richard White – richardw@picasso.co.za Sales Consultants Stephen Crawford, Bonnie Eksteen, Randall Grace, Louis le Roux Steve Norval, Marc Plastow, Andre Potgieter, Alec Rompelman, Roman Ross, Clint Smith, Zelda Stein, Shaun Westley Advertising Co-ordinator Vanessa Payne OPERATIONS Financial Accountant Lodewyk van der Walt General Manager: Magazines Jocelyne Bayer Kulula.com CEO Comair Limited Erik Venter Head of Department: Marketing, kulula.com Shaun Pozyn Marketing Manager, kulula.com Bridgette Ramuluvhana Brand Manager, kulula.com Thembeka Mabaso Comair Limited 1 Marignane Drive, Bonaero Park, Kempton Park, 1619 Tel: 011 921 0111 | kulula.com contact centre: 0861 KULULA (585852)

To advertise in this magazine, please contact Richard White (Project Manager) on 021 469 2542, or email richardw@picasso.co.za

Copyright: No portion of this magazine may be reproduced in any form without written consent of the publishers. The publishers are not responsible for unsolicited material. khuluma is published monthly by Picasso Headline Reg: 59/01754/07. The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of Picasso Headline, kulula or Times Media. All advertisements/advertorials and promotions have been paid for and therefore do not carry any endorsement by the publishers. While every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of its contents, neither kulula, nor the publisher can be held responsible for any omissions or errors, or for any misfortune, injury or damages that may arise therefrom. We reserve the right to edit interviews for layout purposes.

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ÜBER-EDITOR OF THE MONTH

Joe Parker

The fountain of laughs

‘A

h, but I was so much older then/I’m younger than that now’ – a line from Bob Dylan’s 60s song, My Back Pages. It kinda reflects the way I see myself these days. Would I want to turn back my pages? Probably not! When my children were growing up, some of the

things they got up to were enough to turn my hair grey. But now, after 40-plus years in comedy and the entertainment industry, my hair colour is appropriate for one faced with the challenges of running two purpose-built comedy clubs in Jozi! Three things have helped keep me young, though: my five magnificent children, Nikki, Natalie, Sasha, Jono and Hayley; my business partner and co-owner of the clubs, Alexis Stylianides; and the new young comedians coming through the ranks.

Most of our comics are young, some of the fans are even younger, but laughter has become one of the most sought-after and thriving entertainment genres in South Africa today – for all ages. Our stand-ups are a brave lot. They’re free to say whatever they want, and their political and social commentary incisively strikes

JOE’S CREDS

a chord with the thousands of comic fans visiting our venues each month. Foreigners are amazed at the

Joe Parker is a legend of the South African comedy industry, with a career spanning more than 40 years. In 2008, Joe realised a long-standing dream by opening Parker’s Comedy and Jive in Montecasino, providing a platform for up-and-coming comedians to showcase their talents. Check out parkerscomedy.com for more info.

sometimes outrageous ways that issues of the past are parodied and sent up by South African comics of all cultural groups. I think it’s healthy! We’re beginning to take ourselves a lot less seriously.

We’re beginning to make waves internationally too. Our young comics regularly stage shows at the Edinburgh Festival each August, and Comedy Central regularly takes South African comics to the Montreal Comedy Festival held in July. And look at

Trevor Noah! Who would have thought that a South African This, ladies and gentlemen (drum roll please), is what keeps me young. Being in the laughter business, having great, loving children, having a 30-something, driven business partner and being able to watch a nation laugh at itself every night! I wouldn’t change it for the world…

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picture: morné van zyl

would become the host of such a popular US TV show?

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flying 101: pack like a pro for stress-free travel this winter

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he chill in the air is here to stay as winter gets into full swing. This can make packing for your holiday a bit daunting, but have no fear, kulula is here to help make your packing nightmares disappear with some clever tips.

warm, scarves complement almost any outfit, whether for business or casual. A scarf can also double up as a blanket on the plane, in case you get chilly while on your travels.

Pack in statement jewellery pieces to transform looks from day to night.

Accessories are light and small, but make a big impact.

1. make a list Create a packing list a few days before you leave. This will help you remember all the essentials, and minimise last-minute travel stress. Write down the different meetings, events or sightseeing activities on your trip agenda, so you stay focused when selecting outfits for each occasion. It’s a good idea to also write down the items that you may require prior to departure, to ensure you don’t leave anything behind.

2. mix and match

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5. scale down

First, choose wardrobe basics in neutral colours like black, brown, white and grey.

Then, pack in a few colourful items that you can mix and match with your basics.

While you’re packing, ask yourself when and if you are going to wear each item. If you can’t think of at least two occasions to wear the item, don’t pack it. Choose items that can be layered for warmth and to help you adapt to changing temperatures, for both outdoors and indoors. Fabrics like silk and cashmere will keep you warm and not take up too much space in your luggage.

favourite winter boots. Opt for ankle boots as opposed to long riding boots and always wear your bulkiest pair of shoes on the flight.

Stick to the three-pair rule: pack one smart pair of shoes that can be worn to meetings or in the evenings, pack a more casual pair to wear while you’re relaxing or shopping, and pack a comfy athletic pair for sightseeing or the hotel gym.

Pack your shoes into fabric shoe bags or even supermarket plastic bags to keep your clothes clean. top tip: you can pack smaller items like socks inside the shoes to save space.

3. feet first

4. accessorise

Shoes are possibly the heaviest and bulkiest items to pack, especially your

Accessories are the easiest way to create different looks. Apart from keeping you

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While moisturising is essential during winter, full-sized toiletries hog precious space in your luggage. You can buy travelsized toiletries at most supermarkets or pharmacies, or buy small plastic or glass containers that you can decant your toiletries into. Find out in advance if your hotel provides an in-room hairdryer, to avoid packing your bulky one from home.

Investing in a travel-sized hairdryer could also be a clever move.

6. singing in the rain Don’t let rainy winter days ruin your travel plans. Pack a light-weight mini umbrella into your hand luggage or hand bag so that you don’t get caught in the rain. Also remember to pack a small plastic bag for your wet umbrella when you reach dry land.

Happy packing and remember, we allow you one free checked bag weighing up to 20kg and one piece of hand baggage weighing up to 7kg, plus a slimline laptop bag or small handbag. To find out more about our baggage dos and don’ts, visit www.kulula.com.

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Protea Hotels: get your travel on this winter

Trev’s Hot Spots

everything’s magnifique in Franschhoek

pictures: istock, supplied

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’ve never been to France, but I do love French things. Bread, wine, moustaches, what’s not to like? So as you can imagine, I jumped at the opportunity to visit our very own version of Paris a mere 20km outside Paarl.

It might be called the Three Cities Le Franschhoek Hotel and Spa, but trust me, it’s four-star.

If you thought heated towels and fluffy pillows were fancy, think again.

This place was dubbed Best Luxury Hotel in the World Luxury Hotel Awards, it also made the Conde Nast Traveller Gold List – and it doesn’t stop there.

Basically, it puts the ‘osh’ in posh.

The hotel has 63 elegant en-suite bedrooms with balconies overlooking the vineyards, mountains and landscaped gardens. And if you follow the labyrinth path outside, you’ll end up at a place where you’ll get all the pampering you’ve ever wanted. At the Camelot Spa, they only use the coolest cucumber and the best products available.

Foodies from all over the world flock to Franschhoek to get a taste of the little town’s excellent cuisine. And that’s exactly what they serve at the hotel’s

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Orchard and Dish restaurants. The menus are diverse. The food’s delicious, and the wine’s not too shabby either. And if after all that munching you feel like being active, there’s horse riding, tennis, golf, fly-fishing, mountain biking and more to choose from. Personally, I stuck to wine, cheese and chocolate tasting.

But that’s just me.

The best part about all this? Between 1 June and 30 August 2015, you’ll only pay R3 745 per person sharing for three nights. This includes your return economy flights from Jo’burg or Lanseria to Cape Town and three days’ car rental (Group T) on standard cover. Plus you’ll get 200km free per day on your car rental and 20% discount on breakfast at the hotel – that’s more French omelettes for less. If you want to stay longer, just contact kulula.

Standard kulula legal stuff applies.

E&OE. All prices are correct at the time of publishing.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to hit the gym. All that chocolate and cheese made my hips a little wider and my pants a little tighter.

Till next time, au revoir!

Trev

Winter is the perfect time to enjoy lazy days in bed or that big mug of hot chocolate with extra cream.

It’s also the ultimate excuse to book an ultraindulgent getaway. So pack your overnight bag, put on your coat, and get your travel on this winter!

Whether you’re looking for a cosy romantic hideaway, a self-catering family break, or even a corporate city stay – Protea Hotels and kulula have got you covered. Go on, check into any warm and welcoming Protea Hotel and spend winter in super-snug style.

Choose your favourite Tsogo Sun hotel and let kulula book your room. Now that’s luxury you can afford.

Got some eBucks? Pay or part-pay for your next kulula flight using your eBucks.

Rent a car with your flight and get a 10% discount, or get the best rates with Europcar.

As a Discovery Vitality member, you can earn Discovery Miles, which you can use towards paying for your next kulula flight.

twitter.com/kulula facebook.com/iflykulula

THE NOTICEBOARD want to know it all?

We want to share it all with you. This includes our flight sales, holiday specials and fun competitions. Start following us on Facebook and Twitter today.

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GUIDE | kulula news

notice: the acceptance of pregnant passengers on board

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s an airline, we’re proud to carry expecting moms, and their safety is extremely important to us. Please note the below should you have a bun in the oven and plan to travel with us: • After 28 weeks, you’ll need to carry a medical certificate from your doctor or midwife that confirms

your approximate due date and that there are no complications with the pregnancy.

• If you’re pregnant with one baby, you may not travel after the end of the 36th week of your term.

• Should you be carrying more than one baby, you may not travel after the end of the 32nd week of your term.

the Red Cross parents’ accommodation is complete

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pictures: supplied

n 23 April 2015, The Red Cross Children’s Hospital launched the newly renovated parents’ accommodation facility, which we proudly sponsored.

This facility ensures that parents of children receiving treatment at the hospital are well taken care of and don’t need to worry about the financial burden of having to arrange their own accommodation. As one of the main donors, kulula has painted two beautiful murals in the lounge area that we hope will lift the spirits of the parents staying at the facility.

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COMPETITIONS | GUIDE

Treasure Hunt

Join the khuluma Treasure Hunt win with CSN! Find the CSN logo hidden in a story in this issue of khuluma and you could win a 10-day detox camp at the CSN Fat Elimination & Diabetes Reversal Camp in Great Brak River, for one couple sharing, worth R15 000!

The CSN lifestyle offers an eating programme with dramatic and permanent weight loss results, and a substantial improvement of your overall health and wellbeing.

Piatto yeah!

We’ve got a R1 500 voucher to Piatto Restaurant and Grill to give away! Piatto focuses on providing exceptional value for money in a warm and inviting atmosphere. Their menu boasts a huge variety that caters to all tastes – from business executives to the young and trendy, to families looking for a great night out. Depending on location, breakfasts are also served in their classic style, making Piatto an anytime, any reason, all-day experience.

Competitions To enter

Go to www.khulumaonline.co.za and hit the competitions tab. Competitions are open to all South African residents over the age of 18, excluding employees of Picasso Headline/Times Media Ltd/kulula.com/Comair Limited and close on 30 June 2015.

Smart choice

pictures: suplied

Move merchandising madness

We’ve got five earth-shattering San Andreas hampers (zipper pull, whistle and ID holder, black mesh hat, navy T-shirt, tank top, emergency crank radio, survival kit backpack, fast-pack EDC) and five sassy Hot Pursuit hampers (air freshener, tote bag, java bling mug, handcuff key ring, day tripper) to give away!

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As the chilly season approaches, things at Cape Town International Airport are heating up. Spend R3 200 or more collectively, in one day, at stores at the airport until 30 July and you can claim a free genuine leather dbramante1928 smartphone case valued at R600! Or simply enter via khulumaonline.co.za and you could win one yourself, gratis!

Ts&Cs apply – for more info, visit www.saairports.com.

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GUIDE | western cape

What’s on Western Cape Exhibition The internationally acclaimed exhibition, Tutankhamun: His Tomb and His Treasures, will be on show at GrandWest this month, and will run for the next few months.

This exhibition presents the king’s faithfully reconstructed tomb and over 1 000 perfectly replicated burial treasures – as they were discovered over 3 300 years ago! For information and tickets, visit www.tut-exhibition.co.za.

Please note: Be careful when shouting for your mummy at this exhibition.

So long, Kenny 18 June

Live music Multi-award winning country music icon Kenny Rogers returns to South Africa for a final performance. With hits including ‘The Gambler’, ‘Lucille’, ‘Islands in the Stream’, ‘She Believes in Me’, and ‘Lady’, Kenny has sold more than 120-million albums worldwide, making him one of the best-selling male artists of all time. Tickets are R395-R620, available at Computicket.

Please note: Farewell concerts are one of the most recurrent things in the world.

Bronwen points 6 June Live music Legendary local soprano and awardwinning opera singer Bronwen Forbay will perform a multitude of classics – including Brahms’ ‘Liebeslieder’, ‘Neue Liebeslieder’ and ‘Zigeunerlieder’ – at the Endler Hall at Stellenbosch University this month. Organisers promise an enchanting evening filled with some of your favourite sounds and melodies from the classical genre. Tickets are R125-R145. For more information, visit www.bronwenforbay.com.

Please note: Work is for people who don’t go to the opera.

Comedy show After five long years, Tim Plewman once again dons the caveman’s skins and steps onto the stage to add to his 1 544 sold-out performances of the longest-running and most successful solo comedy show in South African theatre history.

Defending the Caveman will run at the Baxter Concert Hall, and tickets are available at Computicket.

Please note: Wife: ‘I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?’

Husband: ‘You have perfect eyesight.’

Award-winning tipple 12 June

OneRepublic in the Republic 21 June

Wine festival The Old Mutual Trophy Wine Show is your best annual opportunity to taste the top awardwinning wines of the year, as judged by an international panel of connoisseurs (colloquially known as wine snobs). This show will include some of SA’s most award-winning wineries and vineyards, and won’t disappoint your taste buds (but maybe the entire rest of your body the next morning). Tickets are R175, available at Computicket. Visit www.trophywineshow.co.za for more info.

Please note: Sniff, swivel, sip and gulp obnoxiously loudly.

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Caveman returns 20 June – 4 July

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Music concert Colorado’s finest export, the world-famous indie/rock hybrid band OneRepublic, will be performing at the Grand Arena, GrandWest, this month.

Expect the hits that made us love them in the first place and some new songs, including ‘Feel Again’, ‘If I Lose Myself’ and the popular ‘Counting Stars’. Tickets are R395-R595, available at Computicket.

Please note: OneRepublic should come with the same ‘Addiction Danger’ labels as cigarettes.

text: christian schroeder; pictures: supplied

Step into the tomb 2 June – 27 September

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You’ll love The Capital, we know what counts We are growing, watch this space for new hotel openings in Cape Town, Pretoria, Rosebank and a brand new 5-star conference centre in Sandton Staying at The Capital Hotel and apartments is time well spent – because we put you at the centre.

We put business, shopping and the lifestyle of The Capital on your doorstep.

Easy access to everything.

No stressful traffic. No frustration.

Enjoy uncomplicated style, ease into uncluttered spaciousness Expect every modern convenience.

Experience great value. Relax in complete comfort.

We’ve got the balance right. Stay where you count HOTEL | APARTMENT | CONFERENCE

Exclusive Offer!

10%

off

at any of The Capital Hotel Group properties, whether you stay in a hotel room or an apartment. Stay with us and save.

To qualify simply quoTe The promo code Khuluma when maKing a reservaTion. w: thecapital.co.za e: reservations@thecapital.co.za T: +27 (0)11 290 9700

Hotel Group Subject to availability, prices are correct at date of publication. The Capital Hotel Group reserves the right to withdraw these offers without notice. Terms and Conditions of Sales and Service apply and are available on request at www.thecapital.co.za. E&OE

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GUIDE | WESTERN CAPE

Eat Western Cape At Bushmans Kloof Wilderness Reserve and Wellness Retreat, young people can unleash their inner game ranger with night walks, spoor tracking and rockart hunts in the majestic Cederberg Mountains; while older and more decadent family members can enjoy the Relais & Châteaux lodge’s multi-award winning food as cooked up by executive chef Floris Smith (check out our Local Hero story on him on page 88).

Menus change according to season and the chef’s whim, but always capture the essence of the Cape floral kingdom by incorporating indigenous ingredients.

Clainwilliam, 021 437 9278, bushmanskloof.co.za.

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In for a treat (if you have the cash, that is)

La Colombe does not come cheap.

It’s the kind of restaurant that young people should get older, richer people to take them to for a treat. Recently relocated from Constantia Uitsig to the Silvermist Organic Wine Estate, the food remains super-sophisticated, grown-up gourmet.

Expect glamorous, prettily plated French-Asian fusion food. Don’t forget to save space for young pastry chef Glen Williams’s high-skilled, delicious desserts. We adored the fennel seed financier with delicious buttermilk sorbet and honey meringue.

Main Road, Constantia Nek, 021 795 0125, lacolombe.co.za.

Date with the chef

Multi-award winning Jordan Wine Estate Stellenbosch chef George Jardine has several delicious cooking classes in June and early July. Bread fans should book for the baking lesson on 5 June. The kids cooking course is on July 3.

These are the standard dates set for these classes, but those with enough friends to make up a group of eight or more are invited to choose a date and subject for a private session with the chef. June 19 sees the return of the ever-popular ‘a day with George’ cooking demonstration, followed by a special lunch and a chat with the chef.

Kloof Road, Stellenbosch, 021 881 3004, or email info@thebakery.co.za for bookings.

text: anna trapido; pictures: supplied

Retreat to the wilderness

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WESTERN CAPE | GUIDE

Shop Western Cape

Satchel Paige once asked: ‘How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were?’

Fool everyone, and maybe even yourself, with these hip and happening trends.

2. R599, Superga

3. R199, Woolworths

1. R149.99, Mr Price

text: christian schroeder; pictures: supplied, simon deiner/ SDR photography

7. R1 199, Spree.co.za

6. R159.99, Mr Price

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4. R70, Spree.co.za 1. Denim has seen some pretty remarkable evolutions over the decades and has made it through all the way. This acid-washed highwaisted pair is the next logical step.

2. What’s more youthful than a bold floral print? These brilliantly bright slip-ons will definitely add a spring in your step.

3. Just because it’s winter, it doesn’t mean you should skimp on eyewear. Try this colourblock lounger for function and fashion.

4. Kids are generally super cute, no matter what. Dress your little girl in this pale-blue print tee from Twin Clothing and she’ll be even cuter.

5. This two-tone dress has a slightly suede feel to it, but somehow it works.

6. Shed a few years with a more laid-back look by getting this zip-through grey hoodie with maroon trim.

7. Apparently the 70s are back. Who knew?

But we’re definitely not complaining about this gold jumpsuit from Next that just screams discotheque.

5. R1 500, Pringle of Scotland

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GUIDE | western cape

Azure thing

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here’s something innately comforting about the colour blue.

In feng shui, it’s considered a great choice for home office or a child’s workroom – studies having shown that children perform better under bluecoloured ceilings. Authorities in Glasgow introduced blue street lighting in certain city areas to improve their appearance, and found that crime decreased in those areas. Leslie Harrington, executive director of The Color Association of The United States, reckons it’s a good colour to wear to a job interview. ‘Blue is associated with trustworthiness, strength and dependability – hence, the blue power suit, because it projects that image of dependability and trustworthiness,’ she explains.

Of course, none of this crossed my mind as I sat slurping on a cup of coffee, gazing out west, over the vast azure expanse of False Bay towards Simon’s Town. I felt relaxed – serene, even, high above the world on the rocky slopes

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above the R44. I was on the balcony of my apartment at Protea Place Gordon’s Bay, the morning mist had just burned off, and the air was warming in the autumn sun. Gordon’s Bay and the Strand stretched out in a sickle-shaped curve to my right, and there was more coffee in a pot in the open-plan kitchen inside.

Protea Place Gordon’s Bay comprises 12 four-star apartments, in one-, two- and three-bedroom configurations. They’re all self-catering, and you can nip down to the Woolies or Pick n Pay in town and grab yourself something to slap on the stove or the built-in braai (which, let’s be honest, has the better view), or go the easier route and grab a meal at one of the many restaurants around the harbour. I did both, enjoying one dinner in almost complete silence on our balcony, and one to the raucous soundtrack of the Bulls vs Sharks match at The Thirsty Oyster. They say life is all about balance. Or something.

Further afield, the scenic seaside towns of Rooi-Els, Pringle Bay, Betty’s

Bay and Kleinmond each offer different delights, both natural and culinary (you’ve got to visit the fish-and-chips takeaway shop at Kleinmond harbour). There’s also the Harold Porter Botanical Garden, between the latter two towns, which has some truly stunning hikes and enforces its own sense of serenity quite admirably, albeit with the colour green.

Back at the ranch, should your stay coincide with one of those wonderful sunny Cape winter days, there’s a pool downstairs, deck chairs, a large built-in braai with abundant seating around it, and that view. Each apartment has its own parking in a garage; there’s Wi-Fi, air-con and satellite TV (should you prefer to watch the Bulls vs Sharks game to the soundtrack of only your own shouting), and laundry, dry cleaning, ironing and shuttle services can also be arranged.

And I might have mentioned that view…

Feeling blue? Not a chance.

20 Protea Place, Gordon’s Bay, 021 418 2821, homefromhome.co.za.

pictures: supplied

Anthony Sharpe discovers that a case of the blues isn’t necessarily so bad at Protea Place Gordon’s Bay.

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gauteng | GUIDE

What’s on Gauteng The daily woah!

29 May – 28 June

Stand-up comedy Smart, slick and funny, Trevor Noah is South Africa’s favourite comedian and rapidly becoming a household name in both the UK and US. His busy international schedule means Lost In Translation, on at The Teatro at Montecasino, is his first new oneman show since his sold-out It’s My Culture season in 2013. Tickets are R350, available at Computicket.

Please note: Check out the Daily Show on Comedy Central soon for more of this guy.

Afrikaans is lekker!

4 June

text: christian schroeder; pictures: supplied

Live music Hugely popular Afrikaans rock star Ghapi will be sweeping through the East Rand to amaze and entertain with his drumming and singing skills. Now well into his career, this singer-songwriter will be at the Die Blou Hond Theatre at Casa Toscana in Pretoria this month, belting out hits such as ‘Hoe Groot is U’, ‘Look up to the Son’ and ‘Houtkruis.’ Tickets are R290, including a free dinner, available at Computicket.

Please note: What’s better than a live music show? A live music show that comes with a free meal.

A myriad of musical tales 5 June

Music concert Mafikizolo Homecoming – Our Story is a musical journey of the iconic band’s music. For the first time in the band’s almost 20-year history, Mafikizolo will share the stage with special guests at The Globe at Silverstar Casino. Not only will the audience be entertained by amazing vocals, but a narrator will take fans through Mafikizolo’s journey with tales of their successes and failures. Tickets start at R150, available at Computicket.

Please note: Bring tissues, this one could get emotional.

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This one’s for the dads 12-14 June

Motoring show Clarkson, Hammond and May Live will be hitting our shores this month to entertain and exhilarate audiences at the Ticketpro Dome. Expect plenty of stunts, supercars, challenges and the irreverent humour you know and love from the trio. Tickets start from R395, available at www.clarksonhammondandmay.co.za.

Please note: The Stig is still looking for another home.

Hypnotic humour 11-21 June

Comedy show Andre the Hilarious Hypnotist returns to the Emperors Palace Casino for yet another spectacular season. With a live band, some strange mental magic and a heap of new hilarious hypnotic routines, Andre is ready to entertain, amaze and astound audiences of. Tickets are R120, available at Computicket.

Please note: Never listen to his voice, unless he doesn’t ask you to.

Frozen in time 20 June – 8 August

Exhibition The Ice Age Exhibition is a 3 000m2 exhibition on at the Sandton Convention Centre.

Featuring animals such as the mammoth, saber-toothed tiger, giant sloth and doedicurus, this exhibition is specifically designed to be respectful of scientific research while also celebrating the delightful, entertaining side of natural evolution. Tickets are R145, available at Computicket.

Please note: The only ice age most South Africans are interested in is a Castle beer.

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GUIDE | GAUTENG

Eat Gauteng In human terms, 26 is still reasonably young. In restaurant terms, it’s distinguished. In 1989, Peter and Jenny de Luca extended their Muldersdrift home to create a magical, traditional Italian restaurant with a time-honoured country feel. The Casalinga team strives to provide the finest contemporary Italian cuisine from fresh, natural ingredients, free of preservatives and artificial substances, using vegetables and herbs grown organically on their farm.

Try the agnello arrosto – slow-roasted lamb shank coated in a vegetable-and-herb-infused red-wine reduction and finished off with home-made mint sauce.

Rocky Ridge Road, Off Beyers Naudé Drive, Muldersdrift, 087 941 1223, casalinga.co.za.

Dad’s day

June 21 is Father’s Day, so it’s time to honour the dads in our lives. All over the land, those guys who drive us to

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soccer practice and cut the grass are eagerly awaiting special treats. So what to give to the man who has everything? Kids desperately looking for something to give their fathers should know that The Little Cooks Club offers dad and kid cooking classes. There are franchises nationwide; find one in your area now.

Head office: 083 556 3434, littlecooksclub.co.za.

French flair

Young flash in the pan whippersnappers are all very well, but sometimes only a long-serving culinary legend will do. Gallic gastronomic icon Marc Guebert estimates that since he arrived in South Africa in 1972, he has whipped up at least 400 000 of his signature soufflés. First, at the legendary Île de France, later at Bistro 277, and now at the appositely named Le Soufflé in Fourways.

Pineslopes Shopping Centre, Fourways, Jo’burg, 011 465 4116, lesouffle.co.za.

text: anna trapido; pictures: supplied

Mi casa es su casa

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GUIDE | GAUTENG

Shop Gauteng

Stay young this winter – and forever more thereafter – with these fresh fashion picks.

1. R89, Spree.co.za

3. R699, Woolworths

7. R1 399, Woolworths

1. Some of the younger generation have pretty bizarre taste. But what’s wrong with bizarre? Join in with this pearl-and-diamanté cap from Style Republic.

2. So this skull-bedazzled handbag from Style Republic may represent the exact opposite of youth, but it still looks super cool.

3. There’s no better way of instantly classing up your winter work look than with a shawlneck knit like this one from Trenery.

4. What’s more flattering than a form-fitting, shocking-scarlet pea coat? Not much.

5. A true trademark of today’s kids is the multitude of electronics they lug around.

Protect your tablet with this Aztec-print cover from Edit.

6. We can’t think of anything more wonderfully camp than these leopard-print high tops. They’re the perfect combination of fly and funky.

7. Bomber jackets are the ultimate laid-back look for winter. This grey M1 variation is snug and stylish.

6. R899, Superga

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4. R2 700, Pringle of Scotland

5. R150, Spree.co.za

text: christian schroeder; pictures: supplied, simon deiner/ SDR photography

2. R249, Spree.co.za

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GAUTENG | GUIDE

12 decades young Iga Motylska finds a rare gem in downtown Jo’burg.

pictures: supplied

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ith six floors of residential apartments sandwiched between the reception and the seventh ‘hotel’ floor, the 12 Decades Art Hotel in Maboneng has somewhat of a mature digs vibe to it. The privately owned bar on the courtyard side of the building adds to the student-come-youngprofessional atmosphere, so ask for a room facing Fox Street, the side with outlines of the Ponte and Telkom Towers along the horizon.

The reception is fairly chilled, although helpful, and that’s exactly the kind of unpretentious feeling this boutique art hotel is after. Although the internet vouchers sold at reception aren’t expensive (R60 for 1GB), these days I expect hotel internet to be free – and most millennials will agree.

The name is derived from the 12 decades that span Jo’burg’s history from 1886 to 2006, and the rooms are named rather than numbered. This is no

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cookie-cutter hotel, as none of the 16 double rooms share any resemblance.

Each is designed by one of the country’s top designers, such as LoveJozi and Black Coffee. One room has historic figures painted in red on the ceiling and walls, while another is designed like a movie set.

Besides my room, named The House that Jack Built and decorated in gold spray-painted memorabilia with wooden panels and furniture, the highlight of my stay was vibey Maboneng, the rejuvenated part of downtown Jo’burg. The Pop Art Theatre is found on the hotel building’s ground floor, next to an independent cinema called the Bioscope.

It’s deliberate that the 12 Decades is self-catering (although they serve breakfast at a separate charge) as there are many culinary options to choose from downstairs. There’s Blackanese, the African sushi bar, where you can order braaied angel fish; the eclectic African diner Pata Pata; and Mama Mexicana

to name a few of the restaurants that stand shoulder to shoulder along Fox and Kruger Streets. I savoured the beyaynetu – a vegan dish of several kinds of spiced vegetables served with injera, an Ethiopian sourdough flatbread – from the Little Addis Cafe neighbouring the hotel. And the made-before-my-eyes raspberry frozen yoghurt from Yogiberry across the street had me return for round two.

If you’re in Maboneng on a Sunday, don’t miss the Arts on Main Market; join us for a rooftop weekly salsa social – I’m the brunette with the mojito.

I wanted to experience Jo’burg as a tourist might, so the following morning I hopped on – and off again – the red City Sightseeing bus. Even if you’re only going for the ride to the 12 stops along the way, it’s an opportunity to learn a thing or two about the city’s beginnings – after all, it’s only around 12 decades young.

286 Fox Street, 011 026 5601, urbanhiphotels.com.

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kwazulu-natal | GUIDE

What’s on KZN Get it in the basket 3 and 5 July

Exhibition The Harlem Globetrotters will be touching down on African soil for the first time in more than 20 years to wow an audience of excited basketball enthusiasts at the Durban ICC. The boys (and one girl) are much more than entertainers though – their hoop skills are second to none. Tickets are R150-R650, available at Computicket.

Please note: What’s taller than a basketball player? Not much.

A day at the races 4 July

Horse racing The Durban July, South Africa’s most glamorous horse race, is back for a whopping 118th consecutive year at the Greyville Racecourse, offering not only an exciting day of spurring on your favourite oddly named animal, but a chance to rub shoulders with SA’s most fetching celebrities as well.

Tickets are R220, available at Computicket.

Please note: What’s shorter than a jocky? His horse’s legs.

text: christian schroeder; pictures: supplied

Boom, Boom, Boom! We want you in our tent 9-11 July

Party If you get too bored of watching the horses (and jockeys) vy for the top spot, visit the Jack Daniel’s Boomtown marquee at the Durban July. Boomtown is positioned as the number one social experience at the event, offering guests a combination of world-class hospitality, luxurious lounges and an unrivalled stage and sound experience. Book your packages now through Computicket, or email info@aireyscott.co.za or call 031 566 3837.

Please note: Unfortunately, the real Jack Daniel won’t be present.

But you can enjoy his liquid counterpart, instead.

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What’s on Garden Route Race, race, race your bike 13-15 June

Mountain bike race The RECM Knysna 200 is back and ready for an even more daunting and exhilarating mountain bike race. This year, in celebration of the event’s fifth anniversary, each entry includes a ticket into a draw for a R50 000 unit trust, courtesy of RECM. Entry fees vary, visit www.recmknysna200.co.za for more info.

Please note: Drinking and driving is a bad idea. Drinking and mountain biking even more so.

Get MAD ready for Plett 25 June – 18 July

Festival The second (now) annual Plett Music, Arts and Drama (MAD) Festival will take place in and around the greater Plettenberg Bay area this month, and promises to be a true crackerjack item on the list of local art events. This year’s line-up includes the Plett Fringe Theatre and the Plett Food Film Festival, in addition to live music and great company. Tickets vary, visit www.plett-tourism.co.za for more.

Please note: A coastal town is all wonderful and fun, until the alien octopi invade.

Winter in the woods 3-5 July

Food festival The Knysna Oyster Festival is probably one of the most popular annual food events in the Western Cape. It’s also something of a celebration of the good life and has taken place every year since 1983. Marketed as the ‘Best 10 Days of Your Winter’, ticket prices vary for the almost 100 events and activities. Visit www.oysterfestival.co.za for more info.

Please note: Oysters are said to be a powerful aphrodisiac, so take care not to overdo it. Or don’t.

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KwaZulu-Natal | GUIDE

Eat KwaZulu-Natal

text: anna trapido; pictures: supplied

Birds of a feather

Almost everyone, whether young or old, likes chicken (except if you’re vegetarian, of course). The Roost serves organic rotisserie birds with a selection of sauces. Whether you want an Asian-style barbeque, chilli, phad Thai or garlic mayonnaise with your chicken, there’s always a hearty portion of triple-fried home-cut fries on the side.

Birds are basted with lemon and garlic. The skin is crisp and the flesh tender. So what are you waiting for? Pick up a drumstick and tuck in. They also have local craft beers and ciders for the grown-ups.

Gillitts Shopping Centre, Corner of York and Clifton roads, Durban, 082 606 7091, facebook.com/pages/The-Roost.

Learn from the best

It’s hard to imagine anyone younger and more beautiful than chef Jackie Cameron, who recently opened her eponymous culinary institute in Hilton in the KwaZulu-Natal Midlands. This 18-month

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professional course is aimed at those wanting to enter the industry, but there are also short courses on offer to the general public.

241 Old Howick Road, World’s View, Hilton, 072 241 8421, 033 343 1784, jackiecameron.co.za.

Goodness in the garden

Sage Café and Deli serves stylish yet simple and healthy breakfasts, lunches and afternoon teas in a casual, garden setting.

The good news is that not everything on the menu is healthy – the white chocolate and orange crème brûlée is a fat-and-sugar epicurean extravaganza, as is the deep-fried chocolate, toffee and nougat bar wrapped in filo pastry and served with almonds and ice-cream. Best of all, children are supervised in the fabulously named Grubby Knees Garden, complete with a wooden fort and a range of art activities.

1 Old Fort Road, Fox Hill, Salt Rock, 032 525 8059, sagecafe.co.za.

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KWAZULU-NATAL | GUIDE

Shop KZN

Keep up with the kids by following these hot trend tips.

1. R699, Guess

3. R129.99, Mr Price

text: christian schroeder; pictures: supplied, simon deiner/ SDR photography

2. R399, Spree.co.za

7. R899, Woolworths

1. These days, there seems to be no such thing as too much denim. This blue-denim button-down shirt creates the perfect casual weekend look.

2. This Nike crew top in bright pink is perfect for a fun day of fitness.

3. The drop crotch is for some reason hugely popular with the young ones these days.

These grey sweats seem reasonable enough for a try.

4. A good way of feeling young is to have some quirk disguised into your daily dress, like these loved-up hair bands.

5. Dim your colour palette for winter with this charcoal, perforated bucket bag.

6. Pretty in colour-block pink. Try these killer heels for a young and refined look.

7. This deep-grey bomber/cardigan hybrid is the perfect winter attire for a place with not a lot of winter.

4. R35, Woolworths

5. R650, Woolworths

6. R655, Polo

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KWAZULU-NATAL | GUIDE

A grand old dame gets a makeover City slicker Will Edgcumbe loses his heart at the coast.

pictures: supplied

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s you drive into the sleepy resort town of Scottburgh on the KZN South Coast, you’ll know where the Blue Marlin Hotel is before you even see the ocean. It’s the closest thing to a landmark that Scottburgh has, owing both to its prime position and how long it’s been there.

Originally built in the 1950s and completely revamped during a whopping R35-million renovation programme completed earlier this year, the Blue Marlin has some of the best views on the South Coast. Set at the end of a tall ridge, it looks out over Scottburgh’s main beach with its awesome waves, the Mpanbanyoni river mouth and the distant rolling hills covered in sugar cane – basically, it’s the kind of view that breaks the heart of the romantic Johannesburger, and makes them want to up sticks and buy a cottage on the coast, consequences be damned.

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The hotel has 122 rooms of varying sizes and configurations, and though it’s technically three stars, the rooms have more of a four-star feel; they’re spacious, well appointed, comfortable and have all the amenities one would expect of a home away from home.

Much attention has also been given to the common areas, with deep lounge suites where you can sip a cocktail or good cup of coffee, creating a relaxed atmosphere that reminds you that you’re on holiday and entitled to take it easy.

The Blue Marlin is extremely family friendly, so if you have kids who want to run around and enjoy themselves, no one is going to shoot you any dark looks, and the games room and children’s playroom will make mom and dad wish they were six years old again. But there’s plenty for them to do anyway – there’s the swimming and splash pools, on-site spa, a scuba academy (which opens up the

nearby Aliwal Shoal for exploration of one of the world’s top dive sites), and the beach is a two-minute walk away.

Best of all, if you’re a grown-up, is not having to worry about making meals.

The Blue Marlin’s Lighthouse Restaurant has a set menu for dinners and à la carte lunches, and the breakfast buffet should set you for a solid day – or if you have zero self-control and have that extra plate of food, see you sleeping off your food belly next to the pool. The service is also excellent, with staff appearing at your elbow whenever you need something, all wearing genuine smiles.

The hotel also has two venues suitable for conferences and weddings, so if it’s an occasion or something a little more than play that brings you to the South Coast, the Blue Marlin has you covered.

180 Scott Street, Scottburgh, 039 978 3361, bluemarlinhotel.co.za.

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GARDEN ROUTE | GUIDE

Eat Garden Route Fatties make happy chappies

text: anna trapido; pictures: supplied

The magnificently named Two Fat Butchers in Port Elizabeth offers traditionally prepared meats for perfect breakfasts and braais. Famous for their gourmet Leicestershire-style pork pies, the two fatties in the title also make magnificent Lincolnshire- and Cumberland-style sausages. Carnivorous bliss awaits amidst the fridges full of free-range chickens, Karoo lamb and delicious dry-cured bacon.

26 6th Avenue, Walmer, Port Elizabeth, 041 581 0469, 2fatbutchers.co.za.

Become a cake boss

Young people can learn how to cook with famed chef Francois Ferreira. His cooking school, the Francois Ferreira Academy, is located at the PW Botha College in George – for the extremely young and historically vacant, he (PW, not Francois) was an apartheid-era politician.

He had a house in Wilderness, which is just down the road from George, so maybe that’s why his name was originally

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put on the door. Why it’s still on the door of this rather good chef school is perhaps something to take up with the Rhodes Must Fall Campaign. They (the cooking school, not the Rhodes Must Fall Campaign) offer courses in cake decorating and sugar work, as well as hospitality financial management, French and event management.

Lang Street, George, 044 884 0765, francoisferreira.com.

Jazzing it up

Utterly unsuitable for children in the best way. The Jazz Room at No.5 Boutique Art Hotel is a champagne lounge and South African-influenced posh nosh, just 100m from the Indian Ocean. This venue is packed at 28 guests, so an intimate and cozy atmosphere is always the order of the day, but they also offer private dining in the wine cellar for those unsociable souls who want even less company.

5 Brighton Drive, Summerstrand, Port Elizabeth, 041 502 6000, no1boutiquearthotel.com.

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GARDEN ROUTE | GUIDE

Shop Garden Route

If the fountain of youth was a real thing, life would be a whole lot easier. But, barring its discovery, you’ll have to make do with these youth-inspired fashion buys.

R699, Stuttafords

R230, Spree.co.za

R1 600, Pringle of Scotland

text: christian schroeder; pictures: supplied, simon deiner/ SDR photography

R499, Spree.co.za

R149, Spree.co.za

1. Paisley? I’m not about to tell you it’s back, but it’s a classic that we must remember. And this dress really does look good.

2. This dark-blue, Barstow western buttondown shirt from Levi’s is one of those pieces that can easily pass for formal and casual.

3. There’s something classic yet new about these clear-framed sunnies from Garde.

4. A lapel collar is your best friend in winter.

This double-breasted lapel knit is available in black and grey.

5. A vivid Aztec print on a flop beanie … is there anything more youthful?

6. Add these rivoli-cut Swarovski crystal drop earrings to a simple outfit and you’ll look drop-dead gorgeous.

7. For a tough and robust look, go for these leather ankle boots in either tan or black.

8. Wearing an Acapulco shirt to the office may be frowned upon, but funky socks are always fun!

R120, Woolworths

R999, Woolworths

R399, Spree.co.za kulula.com

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GARDEN ROUTE | GUIDE

Luxury in desolation Trevor Crighton goes on the lamb in the Karoo.

pictures: supplied

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hen picking a holiday destination, you probably wouldn’t choose to stay anywhere near a place called The Valley of Desolation. Except, you really should.

Driving through the Camdeboo National Park and making the short walk up the trail to the viewpoint over the valley is an experience that’ll connect you to the heartland of South Africa, as the sun pours gold over the Karoo before dipping below the horizon. And the perfect place to base yourself for a Karoo break is Newmark’s brand-new Drostdy Hotel.

Dropped into the heart of Graaff-Reinet, in a group of historic buildings so snazzy they look like they’ve just been bleached and ironed, the Drostdy is a glamorous beacon of Karoo luxury. Having only opened in December 2014, it’s very much the new kid in town, and the hotel’s role as a training hub for young staff from the SA College for Tourism means service is enthusiastic, if not always entirely faultless. However, the graduates’ can-do

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attitude goes a long way to providing attentive service, under the watchful eye of an extremely hands-on group of experienced senior staff.

Every one of the Drostdy’s 48 rooms is unique, but equally comfortable, whether you opt for a cozy bachelor room or splash out on a suite. The rooms are almost all grouped around welcoming swimming pools, ideal for a respite from the Karoo heat. Inside, top-notch fittings, high-quality linens and inspired antique finds give the Drostdy a true boutique feel.

Meals are served at De Camdeboo restaurant, and you’d be hard-pressed to beat, even in bigger cities, the ‘art on a plate’ that emerges in waves from the kitchen. Executive chef Justin Pillay had to beat out a group of outstanding contenders in a cook-off to win the chance to run De Camdeboo’s kitchen, and inspired by local produce, he and his team produce artful, tasty and surprising dishes that are complemented by a carefully selected wine list.

Many of the wines on the list come from the Rupert family’s estates – they have strong ties to both the town and the hotel itself – with other top-class South African wineries getting a lookin too. These wines are available for tasting and purchase at the in-house shop, which you can wander into via the Imibala Art Gallery, which features work from some of the country’s top artists.

If the inspired views, peace-inducing stillness of the Karoo, small-town approach to life and the amazing food and hospitality don’t relax you, a visit to the Africology Spa will definitely do the trick. A top-notch gym facility is attached to the spa, and in the main hotel, you’ll find a business desk, complementary high-speed Wi-Fi and even a high-ceilinged, plush-leathered cigar lounge, perfect for a postprandial Karoo kuier.

30 Church Street, Graaff-Reinet, 049 892 2161, newmarkhotels.com.

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TOP TIPPLE | GUIDE

Sugar rush Ingrid Graham brings back memories of childhood and youth with a twist in the (cock)tail.

BUBBLE GUM-INFUSED VODKA Half a bottle of Romanoff vodka 10 pieces of bubble gum cut into pieces • Steep the bubble gum and vodka in a jar with a tightly fitting lid for 24 hours to get the maximum gum flavour.

• Strain into a clean bottle and use the infusion on its own or with your favourite mixer.

pictures: thinkstock

SLUSH

What do you choose on your weekend movie treat: slush or popcorn? Often the budget just doesn’t allow for both. But now you can indulge them both while you watch the 7pm news.

Original Cocktails brings us a deliciously juvenile range of iced cocktails with real fruit in 300ml servings with just 5%AV. Simply freeze the foil pack for eight hours, then squash the pouch when taken from the freezer and squeeze into a garnished cocktail glass. Voila: slush with a punch! Flavours include strawberry daiquiri, original piña colada, margarita

with tequila, Singapore sling with gin and bitters, cosmopolitan with vodka, and mojito with light rum.

SPRITZER

With a twist of the cap you can have spritzer fun just like you did at your first ‘adult’ party.

Arniston Bay Wines produces a refreshing wine-based infusion with 50% Sauvignon Blanc/50% water and what they call ‘nature identical tastes’. Flavour aromas include graviola and passion fruit; pomegranate and rose; lemongrass, mint and aloe; and peach, mango and passion fruit. These babies have 5.5%AV and are spritzed for added zing.

CANDYFLOSS VANISHING ACT 30g candyfloss in your favourite colour 300ml Nederburg Cuvée Brut • Fill a highball glass with candy floss.

• Slowly add Cuvée Brut into the glass.

• Sip slowly for a sweet experience.

PEANUT BUTTERY SHOT 30ml vanilla vodka 30ml Amarula Cream 30ml milk 15ml butterscotch schnapps Creamy peanut butter • Paint the inside of two shot glasses with a little peanut butter using a pastry brush.

• Fill a cocktail shaker halfway with ice.

• Add vanilla vodka, Amarula, milk, and butterscotch schnapps.

• Shake for 20-30 seconds and serve in shot glasses.

• Check what time mom and dad are coming home. * Alcohol sale prohibited to persons under 18 years of age.

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WATCH | GUIDE

Watch this...

Spoofs, city-wide destruction, sauropods and sassy duos comprise this month’s thoroughly youth-oriented silver-screen entertainment.

Spy

JURASSIC WORLD

SAN ANDREAS

SPY HOT PURSUIT

text: anthony sharpe; pictures: supplied

Hot Pursuit Release date: 22 May Uptight cop. Reckless prisoner. Hilarious comic chemistry ensues. You know the drill: an uptight and by-the-book cop tries to protect the seriously sexy and outgoing widow of a drug boss as they race through Texas, pursued by crooked police officials and murderous gunmen. The twist is that the leads are played by Reese Witherspoon and Sofia Vergara respectively, meaning we’re unlikely to see any romantic chemistry on the screen – Hollywood isn’t quite there yet.

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MOVIE

GIVEAWAYs Release date: 12 June See page 15 Susan Cooper (Melissa McCarthy) is an unassuming, desk-bound for details.

CIA analyst, and the unsung hero behind the agency’s most dangerous missions. But when her partner (Jude Law) falls off the grid and another top agent (Jason Statham) is compromised, she volunteers to go undercover to infiltrate the world of a deadly arms dealer and prevent a global disaster.

Paul Feig has directed Melissa McCarthy in the very funny Bridesmaids (for which she received an Oscar nomination) and the reasonably funny The Heat, so he knows how to get the best out of this star, and spy spoofs are always good for a laugh.

Anticipatometer: n n n n

San Andreas

Release date: 5 June After an earthquake hits California, a Los Angeles Fire Department rescuehelicopter pilot (Dwayne Johnson) and his ex-wife (Carla Gugino) attempt to leave Los Angeles and head to San Francisco to find and rescue their estranged daughter (Alexandra Daddario). Director Brad Peyton hasn’t exactly directed what anybody would call a good movie, but somebody has trusted him with $100-million worth of cinematic destruction, so you could trust him with the price of a movie ticket.

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Jurassic World Release date: 12 June Your friendly neighbourhood sauropods are back. Set 22 years after the events of the original film (released 22 years ago), Jurassic World takes place in a fully functioning dinosaur theme park on Isla Nublar, as originally envisioned by John Hammond. Of course, fully functioning dinosaur theme parks are only really good for one thing: malfunctioning. And when a genetically modified, hybrid mutant dinosaur goes on the rampage, that’s exactly what happens.

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READ | GUIDE

Library lounge Science made simple, happy hadedas and canine crime fighters make great reading for kids of all ages.

HAGEDASH THE HADEDA

text: anthony sharpe; pictures: supplied

SCIENCE BUT NOT AS WE KNOW IT

BEN GILLILAND DORLING KINDERSLEY The DK mark on the spine of a book is a guarantee of a beautifully illustrated and presented guide. They’re not always the most rigorously informative, but they know how to put across information in bold, visually appealing ways. Science But Not As We Know It takes complex scientific ideas and breaks them down for the non-scientist, from explaining the size of the universe and how black holes work to Schrödinger’s cat and the Higgs boson. Difficult ideas and theories are compared to everyday things we are familiar with – forces become armies and electrons have personalities.

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CHARLES DE VILLIERS & CLAIRE NORDEN PENGUIN RANDOM HOUSE Ah, the hadeda, the ubiquitous bird that roots around in the grass for worms and shatters peaceful weekend mornings with its ear-splitting cry. It might seem strange that someone should make a children’s book about these creatures, but that’s exactly what writer Charles de Villiers and illustrator Claire Norden have done.

This charming book offers insight into the real-life traits and habits of hadedas through the story of Hagedash, and her happy meeting with Hagar and their growing family. The initially tranquil scene builds up to a great commotion, but it all ends peacefully – unlike those weekend mornings.

DOGTECTIVE WILLIAM IN NEW YORK

ELIZABETH WASSERMAN & CHRIS VENTER TAFELBERG That’s right: Dogtective. Who better to inhabit the role of a super-sleuth than a canine? Highly sensitive hearing? Check.

Super-sensitive nose? Check. Dogged instincts? You bet! In the fifth adventure in the Dogtective series, William and Alex go to New York City, where they meet William’s Uncle Berlioz. It has been three weeks since Fifi, the poodle of a well-known Broadway actress, has been kidnapped. William and Alex must apprehend the kidnappers before more celebrities’ pets are kidnapped and held for ransom.

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Listen up

They say the youth should listen to their elders. Well, Claire Martens reckons we should listen to the youth.

pictures: supplied

Benjamin Jeptha Quintet

Homecoming Independent As a bassist, 22-year-old Benjamin Jeptha is an established jazz musician in his own right. But it’s as a producer that Benjamin has sought recognition in Homecoming, his debut album as a solo musician.

He has graced the stage alongside Sibongile Khumalo, Simphiwe Dana and Loyiso Bala, and with this album, the support offered by some of SA’s young stars like Kyle Shepherd and Marcus Wyatt cements his place among our country’s premier jazz musicians.

Bassists are usually the last to get recognition – perhaps because they never seem to dominate the sound.

Homecoming is no different: a modest and profound tribute to the soul of the music. Benjamin has given the music air, space and freedom. Chances are, this country won’t be big enough for his future career – the sky is the limit.

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Majozi

Mountains Virgin/Universal An EP can be very limiting, unless it can clearly show your artistic potential in every track. With Mountains, you simply can’t get enough of young Durban-born musician Majozi. His blends of electro and indie-rock is exactly what young audiences are looking for, and Majozi has that unique capacity to churn out radio hits without even trying.

While ‘Someday’ was chosen as the single from Mountains, every song on the EP displays his strength, following the tradition of captivating choruses, sing-along lyrics and big sounds that are bolstering local bands and filling the festivals. Although Mountains is not Majozi’s first EP, it has so much to give, and you get the impression that he chose only the very best songs to fill it. Every listen leaves you wanting more – so let’s hope a full album is on the cards.

Ann Jangle

Kicking Dust Independent Kicking Dust conjures up warm memories of festival Saturdays, sitting on the grass with the midsummer sun straining through the dust created by thousands of dancing feet. And dancing is what this album demands.

Ann Jangle’s sophomore effort has an uplifting mix of local musical styles, festival trends and joyful melodies, but is also deliberately written in the riveting style of blues storytelling. Her first album, Acoustic Archive, seemed a bit more serious and timid, but still had plenty of soul. In Kicking Dust, it’s as if she’s let it all go. But she has also kept the warmth of her previous sound, charging it up with circus beats and fullblown vocals – and what a voice!

Ann also introduced an array of interesting instruments to bring out the fine mix of blues and carnival tunes.

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Drawing the

Shortstraw

Annie Brookstone chats to indie rockers Shortstraw about growing up, making music and (almost) gardening.

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t’s been a big year for Jo’burg indie band Shortstraw. Their latest album Youthless, released in January, topped the local iTunes chart. You can’t turn on a radio without hearing singles ‘Charlotte Carter’ or ‘Heaps Keen’, much less turn it off again once you’re bouncing along.

Then there was their national tour, which, among several other memorably sweaty shows, saw them playing to a monstrous sold-out crowd alongside fellow headliners Al Bairre at Cape Town’s Kirstenbosch Gardens, and opening for Portugal. The Man and Paolo Nutini at Sowing the Seeds.

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It stands to reason, then, that as our interview gets started in the garden of their rehearsal space in suburban Jo’burg, the topic of conversation is Zayn Malik. Wait, what? That’s right, the guy who left One Direction. Oh, and Katy Perry. Alastair, the band’s singer and guitarist, is confessing to Tom, the other guitarist, and me (or maybe he’s just telling us, but in my mind it sounds like a confession) that he watched the Katy Perry documentary the night before. ‘It’s a very honest documentary,’ he insists. ‘I missed the first hour … but the rest of it was pretty good.’ The interview kind of ran from there…

So you caught the credits?

Al: There was also her divorce from Russell Brand. It’s quite hectic. It made me really not wanna put out our doccie because it’s not gonna be nearly as good.

Wait, you guys have a documentary?

Al: Uhm, not really. Kind of. We filmed the Australia and Japan tours, so there’s some mildly entertaining stuff. We also filmed our Jo’burg launch, so we figured we’d intercut it with content from our tours.

Do it! I’m sure that in the meantime one of you can marry and divorce a millionaire to create some drama.

Tom: Ja, that’s our biggest concern, that there’s no real major…

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When you’re young, you think you’re invincible – but you’re not, it’s just a Al: Drama! we get back Tom: onto the topic super-inflated Ja, it’s all of One Direction. ego entertaining and Then we chat about funny and rad, but there’s no ‘Oh my gosh, Jake’s addicted to crack! Will we get him back from rehab?’

Al: It’s not gonna win any Oscars or anything. It’ll be mildly entertaining.

Tom: That’s how we roll. Mild!

Al: There’s not nearly enough embarrassing stuff. I projectile vomit once.

Wow, you guys really are growing up.

Tom [through a mouthful of chips]: Ja, it’s just going to be an hour of us having deep conversations about politics, the weather, favourite gardening tips as well.

Al: ‘Use the hoe.’

Great tip. You guys should write a gardening column for khuluma.

[However, not even talking hoes and seeds can distract them. Somehow

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Hansen, Miley Cyrus, and ‘that one guy from Busted’.

People growing up and going in new directions – it’s a theme. Tom’s saying, ‘When you’re young, you think you’re invincible – but you’re not, it’s just a super-inflated ego. Now imagine that combined with millions of dollars and fame. It’s uncomprehendable. What?

Incomprehensible!’]

Time for a real question. If you could give your younger self advice about life, what would it be?

Silence. The rustling of the chip bag stops.

Somewhere a hadeda caws mournfully.

Tom (at last): That is a real question. I’m gonna go get another beer. That’s what I would’ve told myself to do 10 years ago.

Al (laughs): Go to business school.

Study medicine?

Al: No, when I was 19 I knew I was too stupid to be a doctor. If I went back and told myself to study medicine, my younger self would tell me to get lost. Uh, advice 10 years ago … I got nothing, hey. Maybe stop singing songs about butt stuff.

Tom: I’ve thought about it – I’d tell myself to be naughtier, break more rules. When you’re young you can get away with a lot more.

Al: I’ve got it! Create Uber!

It’s no multibillion-dollar company (yet, right?), but what Shortstraw does is unique and catchy. So what do you have to say about the new album?

Al: I was dealing with hardcore bouts of nostalgia while I was writing it and we dipped into a lot of older influences that we had put aside for the previous album, so when we were deciding what to put on this one, we just went with anything.

It wasn’t a conscious decision; that’s just how we were writing. It’s also got a theme: growing up. We’re all coming to terms with our age. As you can tell, Tom is having issues with turning 26, and I’m turning 30. That was going through my head when I was writing the lyrics.

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LISTEN | GUIDE

Probably more obvious than the coming to terms with growing up is being older and dealing with people who are substantially younger than you, too.

Through the success we’ve had in the last couple of years, we got to meet a lot of people and in doing so, you kinda always hope and assume they’re the same age as you because they seem to be on the same wavelength, but they’re all flipping 19! They’re all between 19 and 22 and it’s quite crazy to experience the maturity those people have. It was a complete mind melt for me, because I wasn’t like that at that age. I was a kid.

What’s it like playing your new material at shows? It must be weird when you’re so used to everyone knowing the words and singing along.

Al: It can be daunting. But we’re so bored of the songs we wrote two years

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ago that we just want to play new ones, and hope that people enjoy them as much as we do. You’ve got to assume that if people like your music then they share your taste, and if you do branch out and explore new territory, they’ll catch on too.

[Drummer Jake arrives. Some more banter about One Direction takes place.

Seriously.]

Do you guys prefer playing clubs or festivals?

Al: I prefer playing clubs.

Jake: They’re different experiences. I love playing festivals because it’s crazy to play to a big crowd, but clubs are something else. It’s gets super intimate and rad and…

Al: Sweaty.

Jake: And sweaty!

Al: I’m getting too old for the sweaty gigs, hey. Our launch in Pretoria was

probably the best show of the tour – it was sold out. But at one point it was so packed you almost couldn’t breathe. And I made the awesome mistake of wearing a grey T-shirt.

Tom: Nice!

Al: So, what other tough questions do you have?

Well, what else about you guys is phenomenal?

Al: You mean aside from our hair? Tom got a blog post written about his hair. Hey Tom, do the carpets match the drapes?

So this is the part where you say, ‘What drapes?’

Tom [laughing]: Parquet flooring!

[I laugh too. Bouts of nostalgia and aversion to sweaty gigs aside, it’s nice to know that maybe Shortstraw haven’t grown up too much after all. Youthless?

I don’t know…]

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, Kid s play

There’s nothing like spending a few hours locked up in the gaming universe to make you feel forever young.

BATMAN: ARKHAM KNIGHT Don your capes, justice fighters!

The conclusion to Batman’s Arkham series is almost here and there are plenty of baddies who need a lesson in righteousness. Yet, this time around the Dark Knight can no longer be too selfish and has to partake in much ‘kapow’ and ‘boom’ with the aid of a cohort of sidekicks.

A new dual-play game mechanic allows players to seamlessly switch between Robin, Nightwing or Catwoman in the freeflow combat sections of the game. Throw punches to send enemies into the air as

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Batman calls in Robin’s staff to deliver the finishing blow, and explore more lethal variations with your sidekicks against a multitude of enemies.

Fear not, an excessive number of villains are being assembled by Scarecrow in his mission to eliminate Batman once and for all. Enlisting the aid of the Penguin, Two-

Face and Harley Quinn, to name a few, and introducing Rocksteady’s brand-new villain – the Arkham Knight, there’s no shortage of pain-inflicting enemies.

Be Batman and cleanse Gotham once and for all – no more sequels. Pre-order before 22 June from BT Games and get an upgrade to the Special Edition.

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RORY MCILROY PGA TOUR

players can choose the Arcade mode for ease of accessibility; Classic mode marks a return to the ‘A button’ and a three-click meter to determine the accuracy and power of your shot; and finally, Tour mode delivers the true pro experience, where the length of your backswing and follow-up speed determine the power of your shots.

Multiple game feedback features enhance the visualisation of your efforts in conquering the courses and becoming a PGA Master.

Prince Molag Bal stirs trouble in his conquest attempts.

Select from four classes and represent one of the three factions warring for control of the throne of the emperor of Tamriel. An abundance of different races allows for a high degree of customisation to your character’s role, specific skill sets and traits; go beyond the norm with a selection of choices allowing players to become either a

vampire or werewolf, each granting their own skill tree.

The gameplay allows first-timers to partake in Tamariel’s quests without delay and explore the open world devised for solo and group trips, while undertaking quests across the beautiful vistas with tons of in-depth lore to satisfy your curiosity.

Get the latest RPG in the Elder Scrolls franchise from BT Games, from 9 June.

text and pictures: supplied by BT games

It’s time for one of those awesome EA golf games again. PGA fans, get ready to grab your clubs, don your colourful golf shirts and go on tour with pro Rory McIlroy.

This year’s golfing iteration is being delivered by the same engine that powers the Battlefield franchise – rendering whole courses, reducing loading times between holes and allowing the creation of complex, lifelike environments.

Expect a variety of courses, including classics such as TPC at Sawgrass, Wolf Creek and even a fantasy course set on the Paracel Storm map from Battlefield.

With three gameplay styles available,

THE ELDER SCROLLS ONLINE: TAMRIEL UNLIMITED Return to glory once again as you delve into the world of The Elder Scrolls and explore the continent of Tamriel, where the Daedric

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Dad, can I play too?

Andy Walker of Gearburn.com spoils dad with this month’s crop of gizmos.

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Power to the people Practicality never takes a back seat in a dad’s mind, and with South Africa's current power crisis, an external power source is a must for keeping phones and tablets fully charged. The Waka Waka Power+ solar charger turns our guardian star’s glorious rays into usable energy for dad’s gadgets when camping, when the lights go out (it's also a light), or when lounging on the beach. It's a small, reliable and multipurpose charger that’s compatible with most devices, so dad will always have enough power to watch his Eric Clapton videos. R929, iWarehouse.co.za.

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More than music If your dad is a mud-loving athlete, he might enjoy the Jabra Sport Pulse wireless earbuds to use when jogging, cycling or bench-pressing mom. While providing all of his booming tracks from the likes of Elvis and the Bee Gees, this device also boasts an in-ear heart-rate monitor that reports sudden jumps in activity to the wearer. Alongside the Sport Life app, the Jabra Sport Pulse can track distance travelled, calories burnt, average heart rate and particular achievements garnered during training sessions. There’s nothing wrong with dad watching his figures. R2 399, iWarehouse.co.za.

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Of course, unleashing dad’s inner kid can be easily accomplished with the do-it-yourself mini-rollercoaster kit. Ranging in difficulty levels, there's a Spacerail for every dad, whether he boasts a masters in DIY or not. Each set comes with a number of integral components that require some tinkering, problem solving and imagination. Once the rollercoaster is fully assembled, a small metal ball can then complete its manic ride through the newly built masterpiece. The Level 9 coaster is the largest and most daunting – perfect as a long-term father/son project. R450, Yuppiegadgets.com.

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Feel like a kid again

Drifting off If all else fails, what could be better than hooking your old man up with all his favourite sport on the go? The DStv Drifta is not a new product, but it still does the same old stellar job it always has. Although packages can be pricey, there's surely no price too high to keep dad abreast of South Africa's next six-wicket win over Australia (we can dream, can’t we?) R369 (Android), Excellular.co.za; R450 (iOS 30-pin), Loot.co.za.

For more insightful gadget and gaming news, check out gearburn.com.

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Joe Parker tries to act his age

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r e y e t a a h l ’t n P o D e h t

Gary Player is a legendary golfer, philanthropist, course designer ‌ and he posed nude on a magazine cover.

Joe Parker hits one into the rough.

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Golf legend | chat

Joe Parker: The name Gary Player inevitably crops up wherever golf is played and, of course, wherever the subject of sporting legends is discussed. Did you have any idea when you turned pro in 1953 that you would leave such deep footprints in the landscape of the sport?

Gary Player: When I was young, I told my family that I’d become a world champion.

From a young age, I had the desire to be the best that I could be, and I had a vision to become the greatest golfer of all time.

If you want to be successful in life and whatever you may choose to do, you have to believe that you can and will reach your goals. You must be positive and make sure to work harder than everyone else. Always believe that you will succeed. Hoping and dreaming will not get you anywhere, but hard work and determination are the essential ingredients to success.

JP: Wow! Solid advice. So who were your first golfing idols and who did you hope to emulate when you first turned pro?

GP: Growing up, I idolised Ben Hogan.

He was the purest striker of the ball in history, but what I took from him was his work ethic. He practised harder than anyone on tour and that made an impression on me. He was also a fierce competitor whom I deeply respected. He always said, ‘The secret is in the dirt.’

I took this to mean practise as hard and long as you possibly can.

JP: If you didn’t become a pro golfer, what career might you have pursued?

GP: I’ve always had a passion for hard work, and I’m most at peace when getting my hands dirty. If I could choose any other profession, I would be a farmer.

JP: A farmer?

GP: Yes. I enjoy being out in nature so much. When I’m back at my farm in

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South Africa, I work alongside with the farmhands and maintenance men in the hot sun. It’s not even work for me, but rather a passion that I enjoy tremendously. My late brother Ian was a world-renowned conservationist, who’s credited with saving the white rhino.

He taught me to be environmentally sensitive, to love the outdoors, and be respectful of Mother Earth.

JP: Speaking of respect, you’re rated as one of the greatest players in the history of the game, winning in excess of 160 tournaments worldwide in a career spanning more than 60 years. Has golf become more competitive since you started playing regularly on the US PGA circuit?

GP: I would not necessarily say golf is more competitive today than when

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I played on the PGA Tour, or around the world. There certainly is more prize money and plenty of talent, but the competition is not nearly as fierce.

For us, it was win or starve. Today, players can win a few tournaments and be set for life. During my prime, I was part of what the public referred to as The Big Three, which was myself, Jack Nicklaus and Arnold Palmer. Combined, we enjoyed the most success during any era of golf, and won a combined 35 majors. I don’t know if that will ever happen again.

JP: What is your opinion regarding the way equipment technology has developed over time, and has it given an unfair advantage to some players?

GP: The clubs have changed dramatically.

Imagine if Ben Hogan played with the new balls, shafts and club heads. Bobby Jones

was playing with clubs that were just a step above broomsticks.

JP: [Laughs] GP: But the main change in equipment is the ball. When I started playing professionally, we took a brass ring and put our golf balls through the ring. If the ball passed through, it was playable.

The balls today are very well made and the technology has improved so much.

In turn, golf courses are becoming so much longer, which requires much more maintenance and water for irrigation. It’s terrible for the environment.

JP: Back to the Big Three, what is your relationship like with the other two these days?

GP: We no longer see each other as much. Our lives are so different, and we get pulled in so many directions. We only get together a few times a year for tournaments like The Masters and the occasional Champions Tour event. But we’ve known each other for years, and I’m as proud as I was many years ago to say they’re my friends.

JP: Bringing things forward a few years: in your opinion, could Tiger Woods ever reach the level of golf he attained at the height of his career, following his injuries and challenges?

GP: Tiger is one of the greatest, no doubt.

He’s probably the most talented golfer to ever play the game. Golf needs Tiger Woods. To win another major, Tiger must stop listening to all the swing coaches he employs and go back to his own understanding of the golf swing. He has moved away from the basics behind the golf swing. I don’t understand why he relies so much on these swing coaches. But I always root for Tiger because he’s so good for the game of golf.

JP: I read that you had a brief foray into the world of comedy in June 1961,

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Golf legend | chat

when you gave Tennessee Ernie Ford a golf lesson on his TV show. Does Gary Player have a sense of humour?

GP: Once I start laughing, it’s hard for me to stop. A good laugh is God’s medicine.

I get my sense of humour from my father.

Our whole family loves to laugh. My children and grandchildren have what I describe as good laughs. Not only do I try to surround myself with people who recognise the funny side of life, but I also enjoy a good practical joke.

JP: That’s good news, given my line of work.

GP: Indeed.

JP: Are you offended by some of the stand-up comedy that’s shown on television today?

GP: To be honest, I don’t really get to watch much television other than the news, some golf and a few good movies.

I have travelled more than 25-million kilometres in my career, so I like to relax in nature rather than in front of the TV when I have time to myself. When I am back home at my stud farm in South Africa, I spend as much time as I can outside with my horses and working the land.

JP: What do you think of Trevor Noah winning his first ‘major’ – the new host of The Daily Show on US television?

GP: I think it’s fantastic that Trevor is the new host of a popular show on US television. I saw the news on my Twitter feed, and of course, gave him my best.

South Africans enjoy rooting for one another, so it’s great to see one of our own having success in the entertainment industry.

JP: Have you seen him perform?

GP: He performed at our Gary Player Invitational Pro-Am Tournament and was fantastic. I’ll have to tune in to watch his show, and I really wish him all the best.

JP: I see that you posed nude for ESPN The Magazine’s ‘The Body’ issue.

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Are you still in such good shape?

GP: I’ve always been an uncompromising proponent of diet, health and fitness.

And I’ve long been an advocate that golfers should be considered world-class athletes. I am nearly 80, and still as strong and fit as ever. I can still leg press 180kg, and normally do around 1 000 crunches and core exercises daily.

JP: Seriously? We need to chat about some downtime.

GP: [Laughs] I exercise every day and am careful with my nutritional intake. And I still play competitive golf. I just won a Champions Tour event playing with Jack Nicklaus and Lee Trevino.

I regularly break my age in tournament play and that’s a testament to my physical wellbeing. Breaking my age seems to get easier the older I become!

JP: I’m actually more worried about breaking myself.

GP: [Laughs] Longevity reflects who I am, and my dedication to fitness and health has been the key to my success – on and off the golf course.

JP: On the subject of longevity, you’ve been married for nearly 60 years now.

What’s the secret to your successful marriage to Vivienne?

GP: Vivienne is the love of my life, and I’ve been so lucky to be married to an incredible woman for almost 60 years.

The secret to our success has and always will be communication. Because our time together is so precious, it’s essential that we make the best possible use of it with family and friends.

JP: If you could change one thing about the way we are as South Africans, what would that be?

GP: We have come a long way as a nation, and have had incredible leaders to guide us. It holds true that we all should have greater tolerance and patience, and greater respect for each other in the true spirit of Ubuntu.

JP: And finally, what single piece of advice would you give to aspirant young golfing professionals?

GP: The harder you practise, the luckier you get.

JP: Well, that’s certainly true. Gary, thanks so much for taking some time off to chat with me.

GP: It’s a pleasure, Joe.

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Dynamite comes in

Botlhale Boikanyo is only 14 years old, but she has a list of achievements longer than her arm. Joe Parker finds out what it’s like to be a child star.

small packages Joe Parker: Hi Botlhale, how are you?

Botlhlale Boikanyo: Hi Joe. I’m well, thank you.

JP: What was your first memory of being enchanted by poetry?

BB: It was eight years ago, when I was six years old. I was performing a poem about HIV/Aids at a school concert. From the response I got from the audience, I knew I was born for this.

JP: It’s clear from your biography that you’re a committed Christian.

Do your religious beliefs influence your writing?

BB: Yes, it does sometimes. But most of the time, it all just depends on what I’m writing about at that particular moment.

JP: Who have been the greatest inspirers of your poetic creativity?

BB: Definitely my mom, who has been my mentor and my writing buddy throughout, as well as great authors such as the late Dr Maya Angelou.

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JP: You won first prize on SA’s Got Talent in 2012. What was it like walking into your classroom for the first time after winning?

BB: Going back to school was amazing; there was a big welcome-back celebration.

The whole school took pride in the fact that I’d achieved something and everyone appreciated it. It was one of the best

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moments of my life.

JP: Has winning such a major competition changed the way your friends or schoolmates interact with you?

BB: No, not at all. I still have normal friendships or relationships with my schoolmates, because I’m still the same person that I’ve always been.

I don’t allow fame, or anything for that matter, to change who I am. So I think that has made it easy for my friendships to remain the same and for my friends to still see me as they used to see me before all this happened.

JP: Your life philosophy is Education + Jesus = Success. How far would you

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like to go with your formal education, and what would you like to be doing in the workplace one day?

BB: I would love first to do a degree, then honours and masters in accounting.

One day, I would like to be a chartered accountant and maybe open my own firm.

The nice thing about entertainment is that I can be a CA and still continue with performing arts.

JP: You won R250 000 in SA’s Got Talent, and you’ve put that money into a trust fund until you’re 18. That’s a very wise move. What do you plan to do with the money once you have access to it?

BB: I plan to use that money to help my parents pay for my tertiary studies.

JP: In 2013, as a 12-year-old, you travelled to the United States for the launch of the Legacy of Hope Nelson Mandela Children’s Hospital campaign. What impressed you most about New York?

BB: That was such a lovely experience. I was impressed by the theatre there; it was over the top. You could see the love and passion for theatre in the large numbers of people who actually came over to watch the show at that time.

JP: What was it like being the youngestever SAMA nominee this year?

BB: It was an honour and a pleasure to be the youngest among those great legends, and I was humbled to be blessed with such an opportunity. All in all it was a fabulous experience.

JP: What advice would you give to young and talented South African performers contemplating a career in the arts?

BB: Erm … I would tell them that the best person you can ever be is yourself.

So be you. Trust in the Almighty, and believe in your dreams and strengths. If you can do that, then you’ll be able to do anything, absolutely anything that you

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set your mind on. For those who want to be famous one day, always remember that fame is man given, so you should be grateful, but talent is God given, so you should always be humble.

JP: What impact did Nelson Mandela have on your life?

BB: Nelson Mandela taught me the ideals of forgiveness, in spite of everything else.

But most of all, he taught me the true ideals of Ubuntu, and being able to look past the colour of someone’s skin to see the person who lies deep within.

JP: If you could bottle and export to the world one of the most valuable

characteristics of us South Africans, what would that be?

BB: Well, I would like to bottle the spirit of Ubuntu.

JP: You’re still very young, but to my mind, very perceptive. If you could change anything about your life so far, what would that be?

BB: I wouldn’t change anything at all.

I believe that everything about my life is according to God’s master plan. He looks at my life and says, it is well!

JP: Which person, living or dead, would

you most like to have lunch with?

BB: I would really love to one day have lunch with Mr Denzel Washington..

JP: If you had one piece of advice for President Zuma, what would that be?

BB: I don’t think I am in any position to give advice to my President.

JP: Well, Botlhale, it’s been lovely chatting with you and getting to know you better. Thanks so much.

BB: Thank you, Joe. It was a huge pleasure.

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Step up 2

l e i r the

A group of youngsters from Wupperthal are taking traditional dance to a world stage. Anthony Sharpe laces up his red veldskoene and kicks up some dust.

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THE RIEL DEAL | local hero

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t’s dusk in the Cederberg. The sky crawls slowly towards inevitable darkness, a selective rainbow of gold and magenta and crimson and myriad shades of blue punctuated by the light of a rising half-moon. Somewhere in the distance I can hear an owl hooting. The air is thick and warm and earthy, like vegetable soup.

The silence is broken by the strumming of a blik kitaar, drums and an accordion, all rendering an upbeat, repetitive tune. In a puff of dust, a leather hat lands on the sandy Karoo earth. Its owner jags back and forward, his hands and arms miming the pronking of a buck. A pair of feet clad in bright-red veldskoene, white socks peeking out the top, skip up to the hat. Their owner stoops down and picks it up with a cheeky grin, before moving on with a twirl of her checked-green skirt.

A dozen pairs of feet, all clad in red veldskoene, kicking up clods of earth and dust, fresh young faces grinning, boys climbing on each other’s shoulders, girls kneeling in the dirt and swinging their arms … this is the riel, ladies and gentlemen, and if you haven’t heard of it, a group of youngsters from Wupperthal are here to make you – and the world – sit up and take notice.

In July, the Bushmans Kloof Nuwe Graskoue Trappers riel dance troupe will be flying across the Atlantic to represent South Africa at the World Championships of Performing Arts in Los Angeles, having recently danced their way to victory at the South African Championships of Performing Arts for the second consecutive year.

These are kids from Wupperthal. Think about that.

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THE RIEL DEAL | LOCAL HERO

IN 2006, THE ATKV STARTED A PROJECT TO REVIVE THE RIEL

COOKING UP SOME MOVES This phenomenal achievement is due to the practice, drive and talented footwork of 10 young dancers, six band members and one very talented … chef. That’s right: Floris Smith, the creative force behind the Trappers, is a chef, and a pretty good one at that; you don’t become the executive chef (and deputy general manager, nogal) of Bushmans Kloof – a five-star retreat in the Cederberg consistently voted one of the world’s top hotels – without knowing your way around a kitchen.

Floris also knows his way around a dance floor too. ‘I’ve always had an interest in dance,’ he explains, ‘but I never had the opportunity to go to dance school.

Growing up in a farming community, there was nothing like that, so I learned moves from watching TV and practising them in front of the mirror.’

After he started studying hotel management, Floris was spotted at a party. ‘This guy asked me what dance

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company I was from, and I explained my story,’ he says. ‘He invited me to come to the theatre to see what I could do. I joined a classical ballet group at the Performing Arts Council of the Orange Free State in Bloemfontein, and in three months’ time I was on stage as a background dancer in my first performance. I only did it part time, as I was a full-time student, but it was great for me. I also later started giving dance classes at the gym.’

FROM STAGE TO SAAL When Floris started working at remote lodges, there was no platform for him to carry on with ballet, but his training gave him a keen eye for choreography, one he started applying to ethnic dance forms.

‘Wherever I’ve worked, I’ve got involved in dance in the communities,’ he says.

‘In Mpumalanga it was gumboots and traditional Shangaan dancing; in Natal it was Zulu and gumboot dancing.

‘At Bushmans Kloof, I always asked what the traditional dance of this area

was – this being the Western Cape, I always assumed it must be minstrels.

‘In 2006, the Afrikaans Language and Culture Association (ATKV) started a project to revive the riel, and when I returned here in 2009, I did some work at the local school, and I saw these kids doing this dance with the red veldskoene.

In 2010, I attended my first competition in Paarl, and really saw what it was all about. So I asked at the local school if I could help them, because they always finished in the top five but couldn’t win it.

I started training them at Elizabethfontein Primary School in 2011, and that year they won the ATKV Junior Riel Dance Championships. Then in 2012, I started a new project in Wupperthal.’

Die Nuwe Graskoue Trappers won the championship in 2013 and 2014.

GOING NATIONAL In 2014, South Africa sat up and took notice when Die Nuwe Graskoue Trappers won the Grand Champion Award for

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Fancy footwork

Best Group Performance, as well as gold in the Ethnic Folk Dance category at the South African Championships of the Performing Arts 2014 in Rustenburg. At the same time, the group’s band took gold in the Open and Original categories. And in that moment, these young dancers from Wupperthal became Springboks.

When I see the group perform at an event in the Cederberg some months later, Floris announces with barely containable pride to the crowd: ‘In a few weeks’ time, these black blazers will be replaced with green-and-gold ones!’ Seeing their faces, I can barely contain myself either.

Riel money But getting to LA isn’t cheap, and the group is raising funds up until the last minute to cover travel and accommodation costs. Floris has his hands full just keeping the project going. He teaches six groups,

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involving between 50 and 60 kids. ‘Just to sustain the project, to practise and take part in the one competition per year, costs R160 000 annually,’ he explains. Attending the World Championships costs R65 000 per dancer and band member, so they need around R1.2-million. At last count, they were sitting at around R750 000.

There’s no prize money involved; they’re dancing for pride and for status – and exposure. ‘Being the ATKV champions, we get the opportunity to perform at festivals,’ says Floris. ‘We get paid for some of them and it brings in a little bit of money, but it also gives these kids the opportunity to get out and see some of the country. At the World Championships, the opportunities included filmmakers, event co-ordinators, dance schools, and my hope is that perhaps some of these kids can secure scholarships.’ From Wupperthal to Julliard? It could happen.

Get involved!

You can become a part of this story by making a contribution to Die Nuwe Graskoue Trappers.

Every rand can help these local kids represent South Africa by showcasing a truly unique part of our heritage. For more info, check out their Facebook page or email floris@bushmanskloof.co.za.

pictures: anthony sharpe, werner le loux, supplied

Getting to LA isn’t cheap, and the group is raising funds up until the last minute

The riel is traditionally a courtship dance. The men imitate farm work and the movements of animals, while the women imitate domestic tasks. A man might fling his hat up in the air and let it land on the ground; if a woman picks it up and places it on his head, she accepts his advances.

But Die Nuwe Graskoue Trappers are taking it a step or two further. ‘The riel involves very fast movement of the feet – the boys more so than the girls – and in the back of my head, I had a thought to put tap shoes on their feet and just see what would come out of it’ explains Floris. ‘I said, just do the synchronised movements that you do in a normal riel performance.’

Check out the videos on their Facebook page – you’ll think they’ve been dancing tap for years.

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Where the

boys

are

Seth Wood finds himself on a boys’ trip amid ancient topography that lends itself to escape, freedom ‌ and adventure.

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RICHTERSVELD | TRAVEL

‘PADDLE, DAD! PADDLE!’ I’m not entirely sure what sparked it, but perched at the back of our two-man canoe, my boy (who was 10-going-on-16 at the time) had assumed the role of captain.

Usually timid, bookish and disinterested in exerting himself anywhere beyond cyberspace, he seemed somehow convinced that we were on an oar-powered mission pitted against the other dad-andson canoes. It was a side of him I’d never seen – a competitive streak that would have made any father proud.

His insistent screams continued, urging me to paddle harder and faster while he occasionally dipped his oar into the water, skilfully steering us around rocks and even, occasionally, forcing us directly in front of his cousin’s canoe, or cutting off his best friends when they tried to outmanoeuvre us.

I’d come to the Orange River expecting idyllic days floating through the tragic wilderness of the Richtersveld, and instead, I’d landed in some waterborne version of Survivor, my whip-cracking son determined to claim victory.

FROM WI-FI TO SCI-FI Considering the ordeal getting him to agree to an all-boys adventure far from the conveniences and Wi-Fi of home, my son’s transformation into some kind of alpha male was nothing short of miraculous.

I’d dragged the little slave-driver to the Orange River in hopes, too, of bonding with someone who seemed these days more interested in parading himself in front of his Instagram followers than spending time with his dad.

He’d hardly been aware that such adventures existed, or that Southern Africa’s longest river stretched from

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My son kept a brave face, but deep inside I knew he was wondering how to escape

Lesotho all the way to Alexander Bay. When I handed him his passport and said we were heading across the border to spend five days canoeing through the desert, he’d looked at me as if I was mad.

Nevertheless, after 10 hours in the kombi with the lads, he seemed satisfied that by the time we arrived at Provenance, our base camp for the first night, we had in fact landed on an entirely different planet.

This was a surreal world of stark, barren landscapes dotted with Martian hills and gigantic mounds of shattered rock coughed up by volcanoes aeons ago.

As we sat watching the sunset over the river the night before our adventure on it was due to begin, I studiously explained that the Orange had long ago been known to the San as the eGariep and that the Voortrekkers called it Grootrivier (‘Big River’), but it was renamed to honour Prince William of the Royal Dutch House of Orange. ‘Don’t be silly, dad,’ said my boy, pointing to the opposite bank of the river.

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‘It’s obviously called the Orange because the mountains turn gold when the sun sets. Look!’ He has a beautiful way of making sense of the world.

Rapid growth Our entourage set off at dawn, soon after our head guide explained how the canoes worked, casually warning us of ominously named rapids like ‘Stairway to Heaven’ and ‘Dead Man’s Rapid’. My son kept a brave face, but deep inside I knew he was wondering how to escape.

Once waterborne, the first part of the trip was spent in deafening near silence.

We glided melancholically over idly flowing water, the only sounds coming from our paddles breaking the surface. Top speed on the flat was around 5km per hour, although slow water also meant more emphasis on paddling. Only when we hit our first rapid did I feel a glimmer of excitement, or perhaps it was vague panic, from the seat behind me. Then, once we

made it through without capsizing, ‘Wow! That was so cool, dad. Not hectic at all.’

He’d been holding his breath, slightly scared of something unknown, but the minor thrills and spills were quickly winning him over. Ever so often, I’d look back to see how the young man was doing through it all, and I’d see him staring up in wonder at the enfolding mountains and stark, unusual terrain. He was engrossed by the craggy peaks that had thrust their way up through the earth millennia of years ago, paying careful attention to the unusual and beautiful patterns found on the rocks. It was enough to hold anyone’s attention – a wilderness ripped apart by hundreds of millions of years of violent volcanoes, earthquakes, mudflow, floods and landslides.

The resulting ruggedness had been baked orange-ochre beneath the harsh desert sun and the result was visually gripping. We drifted past gigantic hills with names like King Kong and The Witches

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Digging in

Hat, and we played a game of identifying shapes in the rocks that looked as if they’d been moulded by human hands. And between the rocks, his eyes were caught by the unusual Richtersveld plant life.

There were tall aloes, gnarled quiver trees, and mythical half-mens (half-human) trees, which the Nama people believed to be half-human, half-plant and revered as embodiments of their ancestors.

Occasionally, we’d see an enormous

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goliath heron launching into the air, or watch white-breasted cormorants gliding within inches of the water, and we’d hear the haunting, high-pitched calls of fish eagles echoing off the rocks. Then came the promise of excitement – dull rumbling from fast-moving water – and I heard my son’s heart start to race. He quickly learnt how to handle the tough bits, and by now was relishing the chance to pit our canoeing skills against trickier rapids.

Each day we paddled between 12 and 25 kilometres, generally settling on a campsite around midday. By lunchtime, the sun was too potent to do much more than laze, hiding in whatever patch of shade we could find. Nights were spent on empty, secluded beaches where we’d set up makeshift camps, disturbing the environment as little as possible.

My son, usually a stickler for the comforts of home, seemed charmed by being forced out of his comfort zone, returning to basics and making do with the barest essentials. He coped perfectly well with the simplicity of grabbing a spade (nicknamed Doug) and wandering into the bushes in lieu of finding a flushing toilet. Instead of showers or baths, we just jumped in the river, sometimes floating about with drinks in hand.

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RICHTERSVELD | TRAVEL

I KNEW I’D SCORED A PERSONAL VICTORY WHEN WE FACED OUR MOST POTENT RAPID

He seemed happy to set off exploring with the other boys, and returned boasting of all the weird rock formations he’d seen.

And then we’d idle away our evening, knowing there was nowhere else to be, no curfew or plan, just a fire to grill our meat and a patch of earth on which to unfurl our sleeping bags near the campfire.

I realised my son had never before slept beneath the stars, and as he lay looking up towards the heavens, I watched him pointing at the sky, gasping at meteorites, spellbound by the glittering spectacle. As if impatient for the day to start, he’d be up before dawn, surprising me with coffee he boiled on the fire, telling me about the animals he’d heard in the night.

RECONNECTION I knew I’d scored a personal victory when we faced our most potent rapid. It was called Sjambok, and it came at us out of nowhere and struck with surprising force.

Behind me, my son’s voice was steady and assertive. ‘Here we go, dad,’ he said.

‘Let’s do this thing.’ And he joined in the

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paddling, carving out the water with all his might. We swooped through like pros and then watched as, one by one, each of the other canoes got capsized. ‘Way to go!’ he cheered, and I turned around to see him beaming at me like we now shared a connection that went even deeper than blood.

A total of 68km over three-and-a-half days brought us to our final take-out point at Aussenkehr, a large settlement attached to one of the biggest fruit farms in the southern hemisphere – vast stretches of bright green vines spread across the land abutting the river, a strange but welcoming contrast to the dry desert surrounds.

Shuttled back to Provenance by bus, we celebrated our achievement with a braai, and an afternoon of lolling by the pool, recanting our adventures. I watched my boy, usually so addicted to his gadgets and easily bored, as he stared down from the cliff at the river we’d conquered together. And I realised he hadn’t once asked for an internet connection.

TRIP DETAILS Felix Unite, the country’s best established river-guiding outfit, offers canoe trips of varying durations. The stretch of border river between Noordoewer and Aussenkehr, 70-odd kilometres west, is where most commercial Orange River trips take place. Be warned that in peak periods (school holidays and end-of-year celebrations), it can get very busy – surprising, considering the effort it takes to get there. Felix provides all the hands-on manpower and river equipment for the trip; you start and end at their well-kitted, lodge-style river’s edge camp, where you can avail of either camping grounds or smart air-conditioned cabanas, the best of which hover above the water. You can either bring your own tent, or rent one for the duration of the trip, or make do without – you must, however, bring your own sleeping bag. The Richtersveld gets icy cold in winter, and is always chilly at night.

Bring a hat, sunscreen, sarong, T-shirt, costume, and shoes that you can wear in the river. A pair of trail or hiking shoes is recommended for exploring the rock-strewn mountains bordering the river. Provenance has a shop selling refreshments and other necessities you might have forgotten; there’s also a bar, a large pool, and a restaurant. But don’t forget your passport, because although the river is officially in South Africa, the trip starts and ends just across the Namibian border.

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Paradise lost and found

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Keith Bain resuscitates boyhood memories of an island paradise ‌ and finds that some things never change.

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Mauritius | travel

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was 10 and in my imagination, it counted as my first overseas trip – because, you know, we were flying over the ocean, across the sea to a tropical paradise. My mother had taken me out of school for the week and told me we were going to Mauritius. It was only three hours from Durban, but I still recall the smell of the plane and that now-familiar lilt in the cabin attendant’s voice when she offered me a choice of chicken or beef. I remember staring out the window when we touched down in Reunion to drop passengers, thinking, ‘Wow, I’m really seeing the world!’

What little I knew of Mauritius was confirmed in every detail. We stayed at some splendid resort which had everything a 10-year-old with a beach fetish could possibly dream of.

I remember having a garland of frangipanis placed around my neck as we stepped through the door, and endless

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successions of smiles from islanders who spoke French and shared a colourful religion with my Hindu friends back home.

My carefree 10-year-old self traipsed about in a bright sarong and a tan, with a string of shells hanging around my neck like I’d just stumbled into heaven.

My mother got to relax and do whatever single parents do when they take a break from the thankless grind of six-day working weeks.

On the beach I spent my pocket money on fresh coconuts cracked open by friendly beach traders and I devoured spice-dusted pineapples until my lips stung. I waded into the warm, turquoise water and snorkelled and floated on my back staring up at a deep-blue sky.

And when I tired of the sand and salt, I switched to the resort pool and listened to the sing-song carnival of island birds twitching in the canopy of overhead trees.

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Natural History Museum, arranged like monuments to human stupidity. I recall the scents and aromas of the central market, bulging with ripe fresh produce sold alongside freshly butchered cuts of meat, and stalls with curios made from shells and woven reeds.

There were Hindu temples with gigantic statues of gods painted in dazzling colours, and there was a big white mosque close to Chinatown, and an old French colonial government building fronted by a statue of Queen Victoria.

Everything was a mix of influences, a delicious Creolised blend that added to the island’s exotic allure. For a young boy, it was pure enchantment.

We walked through thick forests and stared from the tops of mountains, gazing as far as the ocean The hotel hosted games and low-key adventures so our parents could lounge around in relative peace, and at night, after buffets piled with decadent spices and psychedelic colours, I was first in line to try my hand at sega, originally performed on the beach by slaves and now the national dance.

Off the beaten track We didn’t stick to the hotel, of course.

My mother was always a big adventurer who couldn’t stay idle for long, so after a couple of days, we set off to explore, and caught buses and taxis across the island. I recall my fascination with Mauritius’s volcanic origins and my awe

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when we visited the village of Chamarel, where you could clearly see how lava had spurted up from the depths of the earth, and how the uneven cooling of molten rock had caused soils to form in an assortment of colours.

We walked through thick forests and stared from the tops of mountains, gazing as far as the ocean. We skipped a few buffets in favour of atmospheric local restaurants, where I remember eating goat curry – the meat, tempered and softened with judicious spicing, was nowhere near as tough as I’d been warned.

And in sweet, bustling little Port Louis, I saddened at the sight of the last dodos, their skeletons displayed at the

Clear and present wonder For weeks after that trip, I remained on a buzz, my desire to travel and see the world ignited like fireworks exploding on a dark night. Those childhood memories will presumably never fade, even if the Mauritius I return to today seems to function at a different pace. Without the innocence of youth, you quickly notice how an island paradise has been transformed into a playground for the rich who check into chic resorts and spend all their time at their pampering spas and haute restaurants, or lolling on their exclusive, Photoshopped beaches.

Many who go there prefer to lose themselves entirely to indolence, as if it’s an indulgent refuelling station for tans and cocktails. It seems such a shame, because there’s much more to the island than lazing beneath beach umbrellas.

Driving across the island, you still encounter immense granite mountains, blessed with evocative names like Three Tits (or Trois Mamelles) and The Bodyguard. And between the

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TIME TRAVEL A visit to Ile aux Aigrettes, accessed via the island’s former capital Mahébourg, is a trip back in time. The entire islet is a protected reserve just 800 metres off the southeast coast. A guided walk turns up all kinds of rarities, including pink pigeons if you missed them elsewhere,

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and there are ornate day geckos; 20-odd Aldabran giant tortoises introduced from the Seychelles; endangered Telfair’s skinks, which look like snakes with legs; and Mauritius kestrels, the only endemic bird of prey to have survived the arrival of humans.

At the market in the capital, you can still choose between French pastries and dahl puri for breakfast, and still find unusually prickly Victorian pineapples.

Why stick to the resorts when Mauritian street food ranks among the world’s best, deftly combining French flair with Indian spices in bold amalgams of scrumptious flavours?

On race days in Port Louis, you still hear the roar of 10 000-odd eager spectators at the Champs de Mars – the oldest horse-racing club in the southern hemisphere. And the Sir Seewoosagur Ramgoolam Botanical Gardens (aka Pamplemousses), established in 1767 over 62 000 acres and filled with unusual plant varieties, remains an enchanting escape filled with lotus blossoms, fragrant frangipani, oversized lily pads, and all kinds of exotic plants. Among its oddities are talipot palm trees, which flower only once in their lifetime, when

they’re 60 or even 80 years old, and then die after fruiting.

BEYOND THE BEACH The beaches, of course, are still exquisite – powder-white stretches nudged by sapphire-blue ocean. What you don’t see in the pictures are the adventures to be had. From Tamarin Bay, you can take a boat trip and find yourself snorkelling with schools of dolphins, or climb the steep promontory at Le Morne, the gorgeous peninsula on the southwestern tip of Mauritius, where top resorts enjoy prime ocean frontage.

Today, the peninsula is also known for its excellent kitesurfing, and there’s a gnarly surf spot called ‘One Eye’ tucked right beneath Le Morne’s lofty crags. For a different perspective, you can skydive, too, falling from 10 000 feet towards lagoons of cerulean blue.

And if you go to Chamarel, not only will you still find its earth of many colours, but also a smart new rum distillery, where you can sample a part of Mauritian culture that would have been off-limits to my 10-yearold self. If I could write a note to that younger version of me, it would definitely say, ‘Please come back one day.’

pictures: mauritius tourism promotion authority

peaks are gorges filled with jungle-like woodlands and waterfalls. You can hike through the verdant rainforests of Black River Gorges National Park for hours without spotting another soul. The park shelters ridiculously sized ferns and intricatelichens found nowhere else on earth, and there’s the possibility of spotting wild boar and inquisitive macaques, echo parakeets and rare pink pigeons (an endemic species that came so close to extinction that there were just 10 left two decades ago). I don’t remember seeing one when I was young, but their lot has changed for the better.

Yes, the dodos are still dead and the ebony forests almost entirely gone, but you can get a glimpse of Mauritius as it might have been before the colonists began harvesting the flora and decimating the animals.

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graffiti | BEHIND THE SCENES

Graffiti ‘vandals’ (as the newspapers often refer to them) are mainly seen as the scourge of society. Criminals.

Malicious damagers of property, lacking in empathy and social consciousness.

Reckless youth who contribute nothing to society. But, as Samora Chapman discovers, there are always two sides to every story…

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King of hearts On 26 March this year, Durban’s most renowned graffiti artist Pastelheart passed away. We were scheduled to meet up and paint a wall for the very story you’re now reading. Pastelheart was a true artist in every sense of the word: flamboyant and passionate. He would never sacrifice his art for a ‘real’ job and he would never, ever fit in.

Pastelheart passed away tragically, before his time, but in his short 25 years he painted prolifically – like a wildfire that spread across the city and then burned out. He will be remembered as one of the founders of Durban street art. He was not a traditional graffiti artist, because he chose portraiture and symbolism over letters, and often mixed mediums of spray paint with acrylic. But he was at the forefront of the scene. He had an artist’s eye and a graffiti writer’s mentality, which is to develop a unique signature, and paint it over and over until it merges with the very DNA of the city.

His work was not motivated by academic theory, nor did it carry a strong message. He adored the female form – his portraits were evocative and his paintings of lips represented the kiss of life and love. The majority of his work had a strong pop-art aesthetic, but he was incredibly diverse. Some portraits appear to have been torn out of a fashion

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magazine; others utilise flat colours and line work that evokes ancient Egyptian art. He also had the ability to paint traditional portraits with watercolour washes, like The Busker in Rivertown and his striking portrait of Gandhi on Mahatma Gandhi Road. ‘I get most of my inspiration from the internet,’ he once told me as he worked on a portrait in downtown Durban. ‘My work is like a visual interpretation of cyberspace.’

The beauty of street art/graffiti is that exists in the public space. The vast majority of Pastelheart’s pieces adorn our streets, back alleys, parks and highways. They’re aren’t owned by anyone; they’re not exclusive; and they can never be monetised. His graffiti is like the antonym of capitalism.

Yes, the artwork is ephemeral, it will eventually fade, get cleaned off or painted over. That is the nature of graffiti. But by the time it disappears, each piece would have been seen by millions, photographed a thousand times, and travelled the world by way of the internet.

A lion in the jungle Pastelheart had one notable contemporary in the Durban scene. He goes by the name of Mook Lion, and the two artists often collaborated. Mook Lion is a Durban street-art pioneer with a wild, childlike and expressive style. When

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The vast majority of Pastelheart’s pieces adorn our streets, back alleys, parks and highways you look at his graffiti pieces, you feel like you’re being sucked into a carnival – picture Keith Haring meets Joan Miró.

Just as the Pastelheart lips have become an iconic image on Durban’s streets, so too have Mook’s elephant paintings and wheat pastes (posters).

‘I aim to make art that has a positive impact on society,’ he says, ‘by beautifying or repurposing wasted space and communicating with the public.’

Unlike Pastelheart, who avoided the conceptual side of art, Mook is currently doing his Masters in Fine Art at the Durban University of Technology. In his thesis, he

plans to investigate street art and mural art as examples of social activism, with the use of Durban as a case study.

‘My study is practice-led, with the aim of producing site-specific and socially conscious artwork in the public domain,’ he explains as he works on an enormous 20-metre high mural of Durban, as it would have been before civilisation engulfed nature. Instead of a harbour, he’s painted a natural wetland nestled against the bluff; instead of a city, he’s painted a lush subtropical jungle with a family of elephants strolling through the natural splendour.

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GRAFFITI | BEHIND THE SCENES

‘A LOT OF MY MURALS REPRESENT THE BEAUTY AND IMPORTANCE OF NATURE.’ – MOOK LION

pictures: samora chapman, courtesy of mars

‘A lot of my murals represent the beauty and importance of nature,’ he explains. ‘The idea was born when I embarked on the Durban Elephants Project, which focused on the ANC’s interference with public art. It began when Andries Botha’s elephant sculptures at the entrance to the CBD were decommissioned by the ANC because the elephant was seen as a symbol of the IFP, their political

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opposition. I created elephant wheat pastes and murals all over the city as a form of protest against political interference with public art.’

Recently, Mook has taken his environmentally conscious street art to Cape Town, pasting up baboons among the urban sprawl. ‘The Baboon Project was a natural progression from the Elephant Project,’ he explains, ‘except that the message of the former is not

very specific. It’s more like an artwork that can be read in many ways, so it’s up to the public to interpret it how they wish. Ideally, people will talk about it and think about it.

‘If I had to motivate the work, I’d say it’s about the competition for space in Cape Town. The spaces that wild animals are able to inhabit are dictated by those with money and power. The baboons have become a nuisance to humans, and there are all sorts of policies about how to deal with them. Similarly, those with money and power are able to control the spaces people inhabit too. All the wealthy residential areas are close to the mountain, whereas all the poor live out on the flatlands.’

Mook adds that the animals are interesting and fun to paint. ‘I also dig them because they’re troublesome, they’re considered menaces!’ Just like graffiti writers.

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MARS ATTACKS ‘The Johannesburg graffiti scene has crept up from the shadows and is now one of the most thriving graffiti arenas in the world,’ explains Cale Waddacor, author of Graffiti South Africa, the first comprehensive street-art book to showcase Mzansi’s streets on an international stage.

‘There’s a diverse range of artists and styles, plus a continuous influx of international visitors,’ Wade continues.

‘The city itself has been seen by many as a crumbling, crime-ridden cesspool, but it’s evolving at a rapid rate in terms of its creative output. It really has become an arts-and-culture hub in the last few years, and I’m really inspired by this. It’s also very satisfying to witness how Jo’burg’s graffiti and street art is competing with the best the world has to offer.’

At the forefront of the Jo’burg scene is an artist called Mars. He’s revered and respected in the underground culture for his relentless energy and dynamic style. After many years on the beat, he’s now shifting focus towards murals, characters, canvases and gallery shows,

thus making an impact beyond the seemingly self-absorbed graffiti world.

‘I have a lot of energy,’ he says. ‘I’m involved in art seven days a week. If I find fame, nothing changes. If I break the bank with a million, nothing changes. If I don’t, nothing changes. I’m content. When I’m not making art commercially, I make art for my own agendas – drawings, canvases, graffiti walls, characters, proposals, projects – whatever. My girlfriend is starting to hate graffiti, I have no more social life and my family doesn’t even know what I look like anymore.’

It’s not an unfamiliar sentiment. Most graffiti writers will admit that painting illegally is a drug. The adrenaline, the

smell of the paint fumes, the midnight missions, the exhilaration of being a part of something revolutionary … being part of a movement. But there comes a time in every artist’s life when they have to weigh up the pros and cons of living a life on the run from the law. Not many graffiti writers are able to make the transition from ‘writers’ to ‘artists’.

‘At this point I’m more into the art side of things,’ explains Mars in earnest. ‘With coming of age, it doesn’t interest me to just make my mark on society any more.

Now I want to make my mark in society.

I want to be productive, I want to grow artistically and push the boundaries of spray painting.’

‘IT DOESN’T INTEREST ME TO JUST MAKE MY MARK ON SOCIETY ANY MORE. NOW I WANT TO MAKE MY MARK IN SOCIETY.’ – MARS 114

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We who are about to dance

salute you!

In a massive new production, an inventive reimagining of a classic ballet brings a legendary tale of slave uprising into a mythical African context. Keith Bain pirouettes into a rehearsal of A Spartacus of Africa.

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lmost 40 dancers are limbering up at the edges of the rehearsal space. A few twirl on pointe, others practice their pas de deux. Some ballerinas stand at the barre on one leg, the toes of one foot aimed at the ceiling. Those done with warm-ups sit about massaging aching muscles and dispensing shoulder rubs to fellow cast members, or perch on the floor, their legs splayed outwards in full splits.

They’re a mix of young dancers – athletic, energetic, all of them independent professionals; some schooled in ballet, others with neoclassical or contemporary dance backgrounds.

Each is in impeccable physical shape, their bodies alert and upright, backs perfectly straight.

I wonder if there’s even an ounce of fat between them. And when they take to the floor, leaping, launching, pirouetting, flying, and then skilfully landing, it’s with grace and poise.

They make it look so effortless and beautiful.

I’ve arrived in time to watch a weekly run-through of choreographer Veronica Paeper’s work so far. With eight weeks to go to opening night, Veronica says everyone is right on track – it’s vital, she says, not to choreograph too quickly or the dancers will get bored.

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Sharpen your senses No one in the studio looks bored at all. It’s not only their bodies that are alert and eager, but eyes and ears too.

The sound system is cranked up and snippets from Aram Khachaturian’s 1950’s ballet score fill the studio.

The dancers find their place in the music, and glide through scenes from a familiar hero’s tale. Only, this version has been modified, given an ‘Africanised’ makeover and renamed A Spartacus of Africa.

‘We’re focusing on the underlying sense of the story,’ says assistant choreographer David Krugel. ‘The underdog finds strength from within to take on the role of the revolutionary.

The premise is that the chief of one tribe goes and raids a neighbouring tribe, taking its people as slaves, and one of the captives – Spartacus – finally decides he’s not putting up with imprisonment, so leads a fight for the freedom of his people.’

David, who is based in Den Haag, says there’s little intention of holding back in this production. ‘Much of the plot hinges on quite brutal, terrible events, so rather than make the scenes of combat and violence beautiful to the eye, we’re aiming for rough, raw sequences, enabling audiences to understand the unfolding horror, starting with the first fight, where Spartacus is forced to battle one of his fellow tribesmen at the whim of his captors.’

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A SPARTACUS OF AFRICA | BEHIND THE SCENES

BATTLE WOUNDS At the centre all of this maledominated bravado, feigned violence and skilful movement is Casey Swales – a tall, toned ballet dancer with all the physical assets that make him ideal for the job. ‘I’ve been blessed with flexibility,’ he explains.

‘I can get my leg behind my head, I’m double-jointed, and I’ve got good feet.’

Dancing since the age of 11, it wasn’t long ago that Casey wondered if he’d ever dance again.

‘I was on stage and my shoulder popped mid-lift,’ he says. ‘I still had to catch her – because you never let a girl drop – but then I had to run off stage, throw myself on the ground and click my shoulder back in before continuing.’ After taking several years off to properly rest his body, Casey only began consistent ballet classes again late last year.

Even now, despite throwing himself around the rehearsal room without flinching, he says he’s aching.

‘It’s been pretty sore. My shoulder still pops, I’ve had my ankles go, I’m wearing a knee guard because a couple of weeks ago I dislocated my knee. It feels like my calves are going to burst.’

Coping, he says, is what dancers do.

‘You use a roller on your legs, you go for massages, you have hot salt-andbicarb baths, you rub on Arnica and pack ice on strained muscles. As a dancer, you cope – and hopefully you get stronger for it.’

That strength is built over years, though, and there’s ceaseless conditioning. Casey explains that long before today’s choreographed run-through, the dancers had started

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with a ballet class, just as they do everyday. ‘We begin with an hourand-a-half class. Typically it involves a progression of between 10 and 20 barre exercises. Then, in the centre of the room, we work our way from foot movements to turns to bigger turns, to big leg movements, and from small jumps to big jumps. It’s always a progression. We’re warming our bodies up, trying to find our centre, so that by the end of class, we’re able to do lots of pirouettes and turns and high jumps where we can let our legs go, but still be on balance. That’s what class is for – finding your centre.’

‘MY SHOULDER STILL POPS, I’VE HAD MY ANKLES GO, I’M WEARING A KNEE GUARD.’ – CASEY SWALES

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A SPARTACUS OF AFRICA | BEHIND THE SCENES

NEW BLOOD Casey says Veronica’s ‘Africanised’ production combines classical ballet elements with a more natural, organic dance technique. ‘Spartacus is not the typical male ballet character, who is often a kind of genteel “prince” and highly balletic technique-wise,’ he says.

‘Many of the guys’ scenes are very African-contemporary, quite showy, with lots of big jumps and tricks and

athleticism. Our feet aren’t pointed as you’d expect in classical ballet – instead they’re flexed, with lots of bent legs and rounded spines. It’s a contemporary, neoclassical style of dance where we can really let rip.

‘At this stage of the game, you pick up the choreography pretty fast,’ adds Casey.

‘As a professional dancer, there’s muscle memory from years of practice and classes and experience.’ Still, dancing the Spartacus role is hugely demanding. So much so that over the initial run, Casey will be rotating with two other dancers, one of whom is South Africanborn Andile Ndlovu, who dances with the Washington Ballet.

The other is South Carolinaborn Brooklyn Mack, a former

gold medallist at the International Ballet Competition.

All in all, there’ll be around 100 performers on any given night, says Veronica, and that doesn’t include the 70-strong orchestra, helmed by one of Britain’s foremost conductors.

‘The idea from the start was to make it more than just another dance show,’ says South African National Dance Trust project director Robyn Taylor.

‘We wanted to create a platform that will help develop young dance talent in this country, to grow the art form.’

The entire cast, in fact, is young, youthful, and ready for the challenge.

And beyond the professional cast, there are some 50 student dancers in Johannesburg and in Cape Town, who’ll add atmosphere while dancing the smaller parts, gaining on-stage experience in the process.

pictures: supplied

‘It’s a contemporary, neoclassical style of dance where we can really let rip.’ – Casey Swales

ALL IN ALL, THERE’LL BE AROUND 100 PERFORMERS ON ANY GIVEN NIGHT

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BEHIND THE SCENES | A SPARTACUS OF AFRICA

AMOROUS ARMOUR The production has been in development for the last six years, with the vision of making it relevant to Africa reflected in every aspect of the production, from architect-conceptualised sets evoking the plains of Africa to costumes designed by fashion designer Dicky Longhurst.

‘My costume is the simplest in the show,’ says Casey, ‘and probably the skimpiest!

It’s basically a loincloth made from handmade leather. Like all the costumes, it shows lots of skin.’

Wardrobe mistress Penny Simpson says that apart from bits of silk and expensive-looking accessories fashioned from rubber, the costumes are designed to make the dancers look as though they’re mostly naked, with tattoos in strategic areas. ‘They’re completely covered up, though,’ explains Penny, ‘wearing costumes made from a sophisticated sheer stretch fabric printed with computergenerated graphics.’

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‘And now,’ announces Veronica to her dancers, ‘I’d like to see the orgy scene.’ The music changes and, if I’m not mistaken, the rehearsal studio suddenly grows several degrees warmer as four tall, lithe, deft girls take to the floor with a few killer moves. What unfolds is pretty raunchy – even without the sheer costumes.

‘When it was first performed in Leningrad in 1956, it was probably quite tame,’ says David. ‘Our version is pretty risqué. We’re not pussyfooting around – we won’t have the dancers tickling one another when they’re meant to be portraying brutal battles, either. We’re going to have some serious fights, with the dancers getting stuck into one another. We’d like our fight scenes to have audiences on the edges of their seats.’

And how do the dancers feel about opening night? ‘I like to remain calm and breathe deeply,’ says Casey. ‘I do a bit of meditation and find myself completely present. I’m mostly concentrating on breathing; getting oxygen into my lungs, fuel for body. I’ve been told that the moment I walk onto stage I transform into character. Some dancers fret and frantically go over their moves, but I’m not one for obsessing over my steps.

If you don’t know what you’re doing by the time the show’s about to start, then what are you doing?’

Which, I guess, is what you’d expect to hear from any gladiator about to enter the arena and show the world what he’s got.

A Spartacus of Africa opens at The Joburg Theatre on 4 June, and moves to the Artscape Theatre in Cape Town on 27 June.

pictures: claire gum

IN THE ARENA

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DRIVE | ACTION

Onwards and upwards

David Taylor remembers what it’s like to discover driving in the Volkswagen Up!

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pictures: supplied

s popular as the Volkswagen Polo Vivo is, there’s nothing in the brand’s range that tugs at the heartstrings, yet is light on the purse. The Volkswagen Up! is different.

Gone is the focus on super practicality and commuter ability; in its place is something that’s brimming with European city chic and personality.

First up, know that the Up! does have a tiny engine to match its diminutive dimensions (the exclamation mark should say it all). It’s a 1.0-litre petrol offering 55kW and 95Nm. At this point, most petrolheads will be giggling, as these are not big numbers at all and the car could be accused of being woefully underpowered on paper at least. Despite the small numbers, the Up! is a small car and this means there’s not much weight that needs to be thrown about.

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The result is something which has enough zip to get around busy CBDs with ease, yet its compact dimensions make it super-easy to park. It may be small on the outside, but some clever packaging on the inside means there’s ample space for two adults in the front, with space for two more in the back.

Mind you, I hope your friends aren’t taller than six foot… The boot also offers a clever tiered system to give you some extra depth.

So this pint-sized city commuter makes great sense and is ever so easy to drive. Thumbs up to the Volkswagen Up! At this stage there are two models to choose from: there’s the Take Up! at R133 500; and the Move Up! which retails for R140 500. The two cars share the same engine and the only difference is specification.

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ACTION | DRIVE

Renault Sandero

ii The Renault Sandero has come a long way when compared to the previous model. The Sandero has the biggest interior space and boasts the most features on this list. In terms of engine, it’s also the only car on this list to use a tiny turbocharged engine. Performance is good and it’s light on fuel, too. From R129 900.

w

Polo Vivo u Volkswagen ii The old favourite. Based on the reliable and solid previous generation Volkswagen Polo, the Vivo is an extremely popular choice thanks to Volkswagen’s reliability and the fact that it has some good cabin space. Spares are common and cheap, making this a super-affordable car to own. From R144 900.

Five best student cars

Spark Lite x Chevrolet ii This is the cheapest car on the list, but that doesn’t make it a bad choice. It’s small and compact, and boasts a surprising number of features. While the cabin may be a little small, it offers a lot of car for not a lot of money. From R104 300.

Chevrolet Ute

ii Yes, this is a little bakkie, but there’s method behind this mad selection. Sure, it only has room for two people, but with that practical load area behind you and a strong engine, think about the opportunities. You can help other students move res and charge them for it – whether you take your pay in cash or beer is up to you. From R141 700.

Ford Figo

ii Much like the Vivo, the Figo is based on the previous-generation Ford Fiesta. It offers solid reliability and interior space, as well as low running costs. The Figo also has a thrifty diesel engine in its range, which will help keep consumption down. From R151 900.

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text: david taylor; pictures: supplied

With such an unreliable public transport system in our country, students can often be left stranded and no one wants to rely on their parents forever.

Enter the student car, which is something spacious, reliable and cheap to run and buy.

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property | stuff

Heat ’n

eat

Entertaining has never been this much fun in winter, says Kerry Hayes, weighing in on pizza ovens, braais and the new-old Aga stove…

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he beauty of our South African winters is that they are not truly cold, but just chilly enough to snuggle up in front of a blazing fireplace, and appreciate the steaming splendour of a camembert and cranberry-laden pizza straight from the outdoor pizza oven.

Pizza pizazz My first experience with a pizza oven was the initiation of our gas unit at home. We were armed and ready with home-made dough, tomato base,

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numerous toppings and mounds of cheese (I have a girl-scout moment now and again).

We had been told that one of the benefits of a gas pizza oven was the speed at which it reached baking temperature, and all we had to do was light it and go. And we did so with aplomb – only to be rewarded with a puff of heat that singed our eyebrows, eyelashes and arm hair to the point of embarrassment.

Safety aside (yes gentlemen, it does pay to actually read the operation

manual), pizza ovens have incredible benefits to the taste and quality of food. The pizza oven can cook not only delicious pizzas, but also bread, meat and even some desserts … and they don’t rely on electricity to operate.

Take that, Eskom!

Your choice of pizza oven is completely personal, depending on your family and your entertainment area’s needs. Here are some of the things to consider when choosing yours, and deciding between gas, wood-burning or a combo:

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• The gas/wood combo gives you the best of both worlds: the visual impact of the wood-fired oven with the convenience of gas. These are essentially wood-burning ovens with a gas burner underneath for an extra burst of heat, to cut down heating times and retain a constant temperature.

A tasty braai(b)

• Gas-powered pizza ovens have no time-consuming preparation or a lengthy wait to heat up. Simply flick a switch, set the thermostat (if your oven has that capability), wait 15-20 minutes, and then go for it. The heat remains constant and you don’t have to keep topping it up with wood.

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• Wood-burning pizza ovens, while taking up to three hours to heat up to an adequate baking temperature (mostly with clay wood-fired ovens), do impart a wonderful wood-smoked flavour into your pizzas. However, they do have the disadvantages of more cleaning and smoke expulsion.

If you’re more in the mood for a braai than a pizza party, there are many options to choose from in terms of size, fuel, cost and type. Built-in braais are fantastic in a more permanent entertainment setup, where you can have all your amenities on hand, such as a prep area, basin for rinsing the mielies before char-grilling, and a storage cupboard for spices, sauces and firelighters.

Choosing between wood, charcoal and gas is a pretty similar decisionmaking process to its pizza ovencounterpart – personal, and dependent on your entertainment situation.

Here are some questions to ask yourself before choosing your built-in braai (or its stand-alone version, for that matter): • What size unit will I need? This depends on how many people you entertain most frequently.

• Wood, charcoal or gas? This is a completely personal choice, but do consider the costs involved (gas is generally more expensive than wood) and cleaning up. Or bugger making the choice, and just get a combo.

• What size is the entertainment space? An apartment balcony will have much less space than a big 1 000m2 garden.

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stuff | property

Aga-pe cooking For those who enjoy the outdoors, but love cooking in the comfort of

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their own kitchen, one of the pillars of cookingdom must by the Aga stove. Said to be able to do just about anything (except brew a good beer, though the jury is out on whether anyone has ever tried to do this), Aga has served generations of families, and adapted its look and functionality to meet the needs of each.

The Aga stove is fully customisable, so you can choose between three and five ovens, a freestanding or integrated module (this is essentially a conventional oven with a grill and hob), and it can be an attached or a freestanding unit on its own, so you can cook a quick pasta for one or prepare the entire Christmas-Eve ensemble for 20 in one go!

Fired up for winter And after the meal is done, you’ll be looking to sit back and relax. Enter the traditional fireplace. Nothing, and I mean nothing beats the cosy ambience of a fireplace on a chilly winter’s night.

I prefer a traditional wood-burning fireplace – the open flames, smoky wood aroma and hypnotic effect make this the leader in my books. But not everyone has the desire to sweep up mounds of ash and dust off blackened curtains (if your ventilation isn't playing ball). So you can also go with closedcombustion wood stoves; flue-less gas fires; built-in or freestanding; wood, gas, bio-ethanol or pellets. But that’s a tale for another issue…

pictures: supplied

• Is there a chimney/flue in place, or will you need to install one? Smoke and cooking fumes must have somewhere to go; and remember that if you live in a complex, body corporates may need to give permission to install one.

• If going with gas, where will you house the gas bottle? Keep in mind that there are regulations with regards to the handling and storage of gas bottles.

So you see, there’s a built-in braai for everyone – so you won’t need to braai(b) the wife to get one!

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STUFF | MONEY MATTERS

Being young and spending money seem to be synonymous – after all, you’ve got all the time in the world to be serious and save, don’t you? Actually, the sooner you gain control of your finances, the better, writes Katherine Graham.

I

was 19 going on 20 when I had my first dose of financial independence. As a final-year student living in digs, my parents gave me all the money I needed for the year in one lump sum in January. I was dumbfounded. But after opening a bank account, settling the rent and calculating the money I would need every month, I started to regain a sense of confidence. This grew after I got a part-time job waitressing, which took care of my dayto-day needs. And by the end of the year, I felt sure that I would be able to cope when I started working full time.

These lessons in managing your money are vital when you first taste freedom after studying. They are often not taught, but learnt. As Eunice Sibiya, head of consumer education at FNB, says: ‘Taking responsibility for your finances as a young adult will create a lifetime of good habits.’

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Don’t be tempted into debt

A student loan may be unavoidable, but the debt that you want to steer clear of comes from credit and store cards. ‘Think about what you buy very carefully,’ advises Eunice. Do you really need that new outfit to impress your colleagues?

Not likely. You also need to bear in mind that having a bad credit rating will not stand in your favour if you’re trying to finance a new car or buy a house.

Keep a record of what you’re spending

The first step to being financially savvy is to keep a record of what’s coming in and what’s going out of your bank account each month. ‘Take note of all the money that you earn,’ says Eunice, ‘whether it’s extra money babysitting in your spare time or a salary from your first full-time job. Be aware that even small, seemingly insignificant expenses such as buying a coffee or a takeaway add up.’

Linked to this is setting up a monthly budget and sticking to it. This discipline of living within your means is good practice for when your salary increases (as well as your expenses) later on in your career.

Start saving now

Don’t blow all your hard-earned money without setting aside some of it for savings. Remember, time is your biggest ally when it comes to investment. A good rule of thumb is that 10% of your gross salary should go towards saving for your retirement.

Sound crazy to start saving in your 20s?

No way. When asked by the Wall Street Journal what financial advice he had for young people, US business executive Larry Zimpleman said the following: ‘Pay yourself first. You’ll never miss the amounts you set aside for saving, and as the investments begin to accumulate, you’ll feel a real sense of control because you know you have the assets to ride through tough times.’

picture: freepik

How to be young and financially savvy

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Food Allergy WHAT IS A FOOD ALLERGY? The job of the body’s immune system is to identify and destroy germs that make you sick. A food allergy occurs when the immune system mistakenly identifies a harmless food protein – an allergen – as a threat and attacks it.

Unlike other types of food disorders, such as intolerances, food allergies are IgE mediated. This means that your immune system produces abnormally large amounts of an antibody called immunoglobulin E (IgE). These antibodies fight the ‘enemy’ food allergens by releasing histamine and other chemicals, which trigger the symptoms of an allergic reaction.

SYMPTOMS An allergic reaction to food can affect the skin, the gastrointestinal tract, the respiratory tract and, in the most serious cases, the cardiovascular system.

Reactions can range from mild to severe, including a potentially life-threatening condition known as anaphylaxis.

Food allergy can cause digestive problems such as stomach pain, diarrhoea and vomiting in adults, as well as in children. Food allergy is a growing, serious public health problem that affects both adults and children. Today, a wide range of foods has been reported to cause food allergies, and there has been a true rise in the prevalence of food allergies.

With food allergies, knowing what to avoid will not only help you or your child feel better today, but it may also help in avoiding more serious food allergy symptoms in the future.

TESTING FOR FOOD ALLERGIES There are dangers to leaving allergies untreated. Allergies may have serious implications on your quality of life, but this does not mean that they should rule your life.

Many people misdiagnose themselves when it comes to allergies. This is because the symptoms often overlap with other diseases. The concern is that when these conditions are misdiagnosed, they are not treated appropriately – which is hardly ideal and could lead to unnecessary medication and incorrect treatment.

This is why it’s so important to consult your doctor if you think you might have an allergy. Based on a physical examination, your case history and the blood test, the doctor will be able to make a proper diagnosis. A blood test will measure the presence of IgE antibodies in the blood to specific foods. Adults and children of any age can take a blood test and it can be performed irrespective of skin condition, medication, symptom, disease activity and pregnancy.

The test results will help you and your doctor customise a treatment approach that suits you. Reducing exposure to one or more of your allergic triggers can help reduce your symptoms and your need for medication.

Speak to your doctor about an allergy blood test.

Treat the cause, not the symptoms.

Visit http://info.thermoscientific.com/SouthAfricaAllergyReport to download your free Allergy e-book

Are the symptoms really signs of allergy?

Nasal congestion/sneezing, itchy/watery eyes and nose:

65%

• of patients diagnosed as having allergic rhinitis and prescribed antihistamine may not be allergic. 1, 2 Wheezing, coughing, breathing problems:

•

60%

Dry skin, pruritus, scratching:

30%-70%

• of infants and young children with eczema have underlying allergy. 3, 6

Rule in or rule out allergy early – ask your doctor for a specific IgE blood test to increase certainty Visit www.isitallergy.co.za to complete your Allergy Profile

Reveal the secrets behind

the allergy-like symptoms A single blood test that helps you to rule in or rule out allergy References: 1. Szeinbach SL, et al. J Manag Care Pharm. 2004 May–Jun;10(3): 234–8. 2. Welsh NR, et al. J Am Pharm Assoc 2006; 46(5): 627. 3. Host A, et al. Allergy. 2003 Jul; 58(7): 559–69.4. Milgrom H. AAAAI news release. Milwaukee, WI: American Academy of Allergy, Asthma & Immunology; June 17, 2003. 5. Allen-Ramey F. J Am Board Fam Pract. 2005; 18(5):434–9.

6. Spergel JM. Am J Clin Dermatol. 2008; 9(4): 233–44.

ThermoFisher Scientific 197 Fabriek Street Strijdom Park Randburg 2125. Tel 011 792 6790 Fax 011 793 1064 www.isitallergy.co.za www.thermoscientific.com/phadia/en-za

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90%

of children and of adults with asthma have allergy. 3-5

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 HEALTH | STUFF

Forever young

MAKE (PASSIONATE) LOVE

Everyone has theories on what it takes to stay young. That magical elixir is the topic of many discussions and research papers, from beauty brands to shoe campaigns. Here then are some tips to make you look (and feel) forever young.

Don’t blush, darlings. Dr Mehmet Oz says women who enjoy sex live longer. He even adds that doubling your amount of satisfying sex can add up to three years to your life. He says: ‘Sex gives you the Zen moment you can't find throughout the day otherwise.’ Apparently.

WE RECOMMEND you find a suitable Zen partner and Zen away.

EAT RIGHT TIP: Open Antioxidants found in plant-based foods, the right type a bottle of Merlot of fluids and dairy products are some of the top foods to and touch, pause, consume to stay beautifully young looking. engage…

WE RECOMMEND you hit up on some blueberries, dark-green veg, water, green tea, prunes, whole grains and lots of red wine. And add omega-3 fatty acids (found in salmon, walnuts, and seeds), too.

STAY SUN BLOCKED (EVEN IN WINTER)

text: raina julies; pictures: supplied

Sun exposure accounts for visible signs of ageing on your face. Even the UVA rays that come in through your car or office window can do a lot of damage to your skin and increase the rate at which you age.

WE RECOMMEND applying sunscreen to your face once a day – even during winter.

TIP: Invest in a good product, such as L’Oréal’s Kiehl range of sun protection for men and women.



GET MOVING

Exercise has shown … really, if you don’t know by now why exercise is important, then there’s simply no help for you.

WE RECOMMEND exercise, obviously!

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DO SUDOKU

No, that’s not another fancy word for Zen. It refers to mental aerobics. Brain exercises can prevent cognitive decline or brain fry, as we like to call it.

WE RECOMMEND you strengthen those brain cells by indulging in some crossword puzzles or Sudoku.

LIVE STRESS FREE

In an ideal world this is possible, but when you live on planet earth, it takes some doing! Stress causes physical changes in the body that can accelerate ageing.

WE RECOMMEND you try meditation.

TIP: Find a quiet spot, close your eyes, relax your muscles and breathe deeply.

You may want to throw in a mantra; we recommend this tried-andtested one: I will only travel kulula, kulula makes me happy.

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COLUMN | STUFF

A mean bill of health

Ben Trovato turns his head to the side, coughs, splutters, hacks, wheezes and falls over.

illustration: pete woodbridge

I

have a momentous birthday coming up and, with red lights flashing on my internal dashboard, I thought it would be a good time for a major service.

Instead of going to my regular doctor, whose understanding of medicine is based on watching the entire series of Scrubs in one sitting, I tried someone who might have actually studied to get where he is today. My doctor got where he is today by driving here from Jo’burg, then cutting out the GP on his number plate and sticking it on the door behind his name.

These days, people lower their voices when they speak of doctors in much the same way they do when they speak of priests. And I don’t mean in a good way.

I prefer the word ‘physician’. It sounds like he should know what he’s doing.

The physician I went to works in a hospital designed by an escaped lunatic possessed with Lewis Carroll’s imagination and MC Escher’s sense of architecture.

Disappearing elevators, stairways leading nowhere, rooms full of outlandish people – it was all there.

Out of breath and confused, I burst into a dimly lit room. Before I could introduce myself, the receptionist told me to urinate into a plastic cup. I did as I was told and

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went off to the bathroom to wee on my hands, pants, floor and walls. It was like putting a four-year-old in charge of a fire hose. Five drops made it into the cup.

Back in the waiting room and settling in with a back issue of GQ, I was startled when the leader of Hell’s Angels walked in.

He was built like a Mack truck and had the kind of ponytail worn by men who’ve done their fair share of bloodletting. I was partly right. He was the physician.

His offices made me think of my grandfather, a man who never threw anything away. This was a good sign.

I have an inherent distrust of people who live and work in neat, orderly spaces. They invariably turn out to be serial killers, or worse, city councillors.

With all the brio and bedside manner of Genghis Khan, the physician ordered me to strip down to my underpants. He

began probing me with incriminating questions like, ‘Are you on any drugs?’ and ‘Is there any mental illness in your family?’ I scanned the room for a polygraph machine before answering.

Then he made me lie down and began feeling me all over. I was strangely comfortable with this, although I would never admit it.

Disappointed with my reluctance to fight back, he told me to mount one of those ridiculous bicycles that don’t go anywhere, no matter how hard you pedal.

He clipped some kind of electronic device to my ear and told me to keep it above 100km/h. I then knew how Keanu Reeves must have felt on that booby-trapped bus.

When I regained consciousness, he told me to blow into a tube. I refused on the grounds that my lawyer wasn’t present, but he forced me do it anyway. I scored 85% – the highest I ever got for anything.

I suggested we go to a bar and celebrate.

In the end, he shouted at me for wasting his time and showed me out.

Of course, I’m still waiting for the results of my blood test. That’s where the real damage will show up. I’ve invested an awful lot of time, money and effort into abusing my body and if I had to receive a clean bill of health, that would send the wrong message to the youth altogether.

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khlassifieds Like stuff? Like buying stuff? Wanna know what stuff to buy?

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June

2015

Forever Young Starring Joe Parker

FOR THE MENU see pages 2 & 3

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TO ADVERTISE CONTACT STEVE NORVAL Tel: +27 21 469 2400 steven@picasso.co.za

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