Living Well

TOO OFTEN WE POSTPONE LIVING WELL FOR LATER ON. THE FOLLOWING STORY (AUTHOR UNKNOWN) HIGHLIGHTS THE NEED TO LIVE FULLY AND WELL NOW AND TO TAKE HOLD OF EVERY MOMENT

“A friend of mine opened his wife’s underwear drawer and picked up a silk paper wrapped package

“This,” — he said — “isn’t any ordinary package.”

He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk paper and the box. “She got this the first time we went to New York, 8 or 9 years ago. She has never put it on. Was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is it.”

He got near the bed and placed the gift box next to the other clothings he was taking to the funeral house, his wife had just died.

He turned to me and said: “Never save something for a special occasion. Every day in your life is a special occasion”

I still think those words changed my life. Now I read more and clean less. I sit on the porch without worrying about anything. I spend more time with my family, and less at work.

I understood that life should be a source of experiences to be lived up, not survived through. I no longer keep anything. I use crystal glasses every day. I’ll wear new clothes to go to the supermarket, if I feel like it.

I don’t save my special perfume for special occasions, I use it whenever I want to. The words “Someday...” and “One Day...” are fading away from my dictionary.

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If it’s worth seeing, listening or doing, I want to see, listen or do it now. I don’t know what my friend’s wife would have done if she knew she wouldn’t be there the next morning, this nobody can tell. I think she might have called her relatives and closest friends.

She might call old friends to make peace over past quarrels. I’d like to think she would go out for Chinese, her favourite food. It’s these small things that I would regret not doing, if I knew my time had come.

I would regret it, because I would no longer see the friends I would meet, letters... letters that I wanted to write “One of these days”.

I would regret and feel sad, because I didn’t say to my brothers and sons, not enough times at least, how much I love them.

Now, I try not to delay, postpone or keep anything that could bring laughter and joy into our lives.

And, on each morning, I say to myself that this could be a special day.

Each day, each hour, each minute, is special.

If you got this, it’s because someone cares for you and because, probably, there’s someone you care about.

If you’re too busy to send this out to other people and you say to yourself that you will send it “One of these days”, remember that “One day” is far away... or might never come...”

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The concept of living well does not mean that anyone else does without. What it does mean is that you acknowledge that your attitude toward yourself is often up to you. Living well means taking care of yourself as well as others. Not taking care of others to the detriment of yourself. It also means enjoying doing things you can actually afford.

If your idea of a treat is a round the world trip on your own but you have three kids to take care of, no baby sitter and you’re on a teacher’s salary — that may not be reasonable. If you enjoy a drink, live on your own and tend to have ‘a couple’ of stubbies/cask wines.... you may not be helping your health.

If, however, you enjoy a glass of good wine with dinner, or an evening scotch — why not get out your best crystal glass, buy the best you can afford and savour a single glass. If you are a chocoholic — rather than the slab of Cadbury that you eat in a single hit — buy yourself a box of expensive treats and allow yourself a couple at a time — and then stop (Julie tried this — it works!). If your relationship has hit the skids — or if on the way there — make a weekly date to spend some specific and romantic time with your partner. If you are concerned that relationships at school are not what they could be- become a secret admirer and leave small statements or gifts of appreciation in various people’s pigeonholes. Try committing Random Acts of Kindness for others and see how quickly it becomes institutionalised.

Faith Popcorn (yes it’s her real name!) in her book ‘Clicking’ coined the term ‘small indulgence’ as a trend for advertising purposes, but also meaning thinking highly enough of yourself to treat yourself well, which is what living well is all about.

To some, it might be a bottle of Veuve Clicquot champagne; for others, a spray of Yves St. Laurent’s Champagne eau de cologne. The width and breadth of the Small Indulgence Trend rises and falls with the economy. When the money was growing and flowing in the last decade, an indulgence may have been splurging for the BMW convertible, instead of the sedan. But when money tightened up in the recession, as we are beginning to see again right now with the state of the world, the notion of an affordable luxury, a “reward,” has become pared down to a bouquet of tulips or a punnet of fresh strawberries or a macadamia-nut chocolate chip cookie.

Premium flavoured coffees are “trendy” now, and teas followed? Celestial Seasonings opened the market for both speciality teas. A favourite small indulgence Julie likes to introduce friends to these days is liqueur tea — it works for coffee — try it!

Breads have suddenly risen into the hot-property zone of consumer spending.

Sometimes when one is feeling shady or stressed out, a short stint of travel can qualify as a Small Indulgence, such as a three-day trip. Or a theatre/museum fix in any major metropolis can feel like a ‘reward-thyself” happening. If you go to a place for an overnight stay, the Small Indulgence hotel could be some place small and boutique, or a bed and breakfast.

It’s not just about “gratification substitution” — “I’ll take this because I can’t have that.” It’s about choosing one small category in your life and buying the best you can buy in that arena because you deserve it!

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Crucial to this concept is quality. You can’t small-indulge yourself on junk!

What do you need to do to treat yourself — not as a reward — simply as a treat?

So the message here is — treat yourself. Figure out what it is that you really enjoy and how you can give yourself a little piece that won’t break the bank. For people who are depressed (even clinically depressed), just fed up with the world, or feeling totally unappreciated by anyone — try this. I’ll guarantee that if you treat yourself daily for six weeks, you’ll be a different person!!

EXERCISE:

1. Write down one thing that would make you feel really terrific that you can afford. Do it today!

2. Write down a list of things that would help you feel great that are either free or very inexpensive.

Over the next two weeks treat yourself to one of these each day and tick it off your list. Keep adding to the list as you think of more.

3. Make a list of everything you want to do before you die (seriously). Tick the things you’ve already done — and start making plans! (If you have a partner you may want to discuss this!)

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