Experiencing God in Uncertain Times

Why Christian Love

Matters in Depression

Walking alongside the depressed with love and support.

by Dr. Kathryn Butler

The first day I ventured through the church doors, no one knew I fought the compulsion to throw myself off a bridge.

I had drifted about for months with a shroud draped over my mind. Joy had vanished. As a physician, I understood my anguish and could describe its chemical mechanisms with precision. I could define clinical depression and deconstruct it. Yet as I sat there that day with the Bible heavy on my lap, despair crowded out my will to live. Never before had living felt so much like dying.

Fellow churchgoers noticed I neither lifted my voice in song, nor bowed my head in prayer. Many rightly deduced that church was foreign to me. No one, however, could perceive the severity of my groaning, because like other mental illnesses, clinical depression is a hidden disability. It skulks behind everyday routines. We go to work and pick up our kids from school, but struggle to breathe. We force a smile, while our regard for life erodes away. As Charles Spurgeon described,

“The flesh can bear only a certain number of wounds and no more, but the soul can bleed in ten thousand ways, and die over and over again each hour.”

Unfortunately, misconceptions about depression seep into the church, tainting our words. While the Bible urges us to open our arms to those crushed in spirit, too often sufferers of depression find the church to be a home for ridicule, rather than truth and love.

Real Christians Aren’t Depressed

In my experience of writing and teaching about depression, dialogue with other Christian sufferers has revealed an unsettling theme. As they strive to contextualize their illness within a biblical framework, they worry that depression reflects a deficit in their faith. Some chastise themselves for being unable to overcome depression without medication. Others fear that depression reflects a puny faith, an imperfect acceptance of the gospel. The implicit fear is that depression and faith are incompatible. “Real” believers hope in the gospel, and so they don’t get depressed.

Further observations suggest that the church can worsen, rather than assuage, such feelings of guilt. In her article recounting her experience with depression, Alicia Cohn writes:

Unfortunately, many of us who have spoken up in church communities have been told to “pray harder” or “have more faith.” These suggestions might be well-intentioned, but they often discourage and isolate.

Such comments demonstrate a faltering in love for our neighbors, a widening crack in the foundation of Christian empathy. As Christ’s followers we gladly leap into the mission field, cook meals for the destitute, and embrace the grieving; but when depression strikes, misconceptions can deteriorate this spirit of compassion. At best, we practice silence and avoidance. At worst, we blame the sufferer and disregard the depressed as too lax in faith to pull themselves from the depths. More Than Feeling Down

Clinical depression differs from grief and sadness, which are appropriate responses to a broken world. Our tears are God-given. As they dampen our faces, they provide a balm for our wounded hearts, and point to our need for a Savior.

Depression, on the other hand, differs from this God-given sorrow. In major depression, our tears flow for too long, and for reasons we can’t pinpoint. They persist long after wounds have healed. No matter how earnestly we strive to free ourselves from the depths, each day dawns bleaker, since depression originates not from the will, but from changes in the brain.

Translated into everyday language, major depression is a pervasive disorder of mood and thought that deadens joy. The mundane tasks of getting up in the morning, getting dressed, and going to work feel impossible—with 60 percent of sufferers unable to perform these simple daily activities.

Research over the past decade reveals that the neurobiological underpinnings of this experience are intricate. These changes create profound disturbances in mood, motivation, focus, and the ability to engage in the stuff of life. Those with depression suffer from a bleakness they can neither comprehend nor control. And even when the depressed seek out help for a single episode, another descent into darkness often lurks months or years ahead.

Lifelong Affliction

Nine years after my initial steps through those church doors, my suicidal compulsions had receded into memory. As I sat in the pews with a toddler clinging to my hip and an infant fussing on my lap, I called those around me my dearest friends. I had accepted Christ into my life and knew the church as a beacon of fellowship and respite.

Then, seemingly out of nowhere, a shadow descended over my heart again. The urge to cry thrust me into silence while my friends and family sang praises to God. As joy drained away, my most fervent thoughts dwindled to monosyllables. Help me, I prayed. Lord, please. Not this. Not again.

As it so often does, the darkness had returned.

Depression is often a lifelong burden. Following recovery from a single episode, up to 40 percent of sufferers have recurrent symptoms within two years (Kang). After two episodes, up to 80 percent continue to have recurrences (Burcusa, Bulloch).

Challenges in treatment compound the problem. Many people who suffer from depression don’t receive adequate therapy, either because guilt and stigma discourage them from seeking help, or because healthcare disparities limit services (Thornicroft). Even when sufferers do seek help, treatment is an inexact science, and cure elusive.

The mainstays of therapy include antidepressant medications, which increase concentrations of serotonin in the brain, and psychotherapy. Although antidepressants can provide crucial stability, when used alone they facilitate full remission in only about 50 percent of cases (Papakostas, Gartlehner). Efficacy increases when antidepressants and psychotherapy are combined (Cuijpers).

When sufferers muster the courage to pursue therapy, they can face a plodding and debilitating course. Although some feel better within one to two weeks (Uher, Posternak), full remission usually requires six to 12 weeks of therapy (Papakostas, Trivedi, Romera). The delayed effectiveness of treatment can worsen feelings of guilt. As Zack Eswine writes, “Because of this slowness of cure, sufferers must daily withstand voices of condemnation. After all, Shouldn’t you be over it by now?” Fellow churchgoers hold the power either to fan that condemnation into flame, or to snuff it out. Our words matter (Matt. 15:18; Eph. 4:29). With them we may trample the downtrodden for the glory of our own lofty opinions. Or, we may embrace the suffering with open arms and hearts, and in so doing embody the love of Christ.

Medical Problem with Spiritual Ramifications

Sufferers desperately need reminders of Christ’s love. When we dismiss depression as an affliction of faithlessness, we crush believers during their moments of dire need. We also ignore the refining work God may accomplish through our moments of despair. Pastor Todd Peperkorn shares the following:

Overcoming depression is not a matter of “cheer up!” or “just have more faith and joy!” or some pious version of “get over it!” I knew the gospel. I knew all the right answers. I had it all figured out and preached it Sunday after Sunday. But our Lord, in his mercy, chose to crush me, to cause me to suffer with him, so that the faith he gave me… would be stronger, clearer, and more focused. By traveling down that dark road, I have come to understand what the light of Christ is all about.

As Christ’s followers, we’re called to reflect His light. We’re called to remind one another, as the Psalms constantly reassure us, that those who know and love God also struggle through seasons of despair (Ps. 13:1–2; 38:6–8; 42:1–2). David was a man after God’s own heart, with a faith so vast it steeled him against a giant. Yet in the Psalms he laments. Seasons find him in agony, crying out to the Lord whom he cherishes, but who he fears has fallen silent (Ps. 22:1–2). In their deep longing and poetic imagery, the Psalms give a voice to our own suffering. They reveal that even those rich in faith are prone to despondency. Hope in Christian Love

When I awkwardly stepped into that church building more than a decade ago, those present couldn’t discern my agony. But they saw me. They beheld me as another image-bearer of God, worthy of love, won by Christ. They offered table fellowship. They opened their homes and their lives to a stranger. They shared books, baked pies, and offered unconditional embraces. They inquired. They listened.

When years later, I finally divulged the episodic tumult within my soul, they still loved me. The table fellowship continued. The books still exchanged hands. The embraces just lingered a bit longer. The house visits increased in frequency. The prayers became more fervent. They didn’t reprimand me. They simply partnered with me, holding on to me while the waves of grief ebbed and flowed.

Their efforts didn’t chase away the darkness. They didn’t cure my depression, or jolt my mind awake with a burst of hope. But they did reflect Christ’s love, and in so doing, buoyed me through turbulent seas. They reminded me, even while I was steeped in hopelessness and shame, even when I couldn’t believe their words, that Christ lived and died and rose for me. And like a shaft of light glittering through inky waters, that truth—that love—penetrates through.

Depression Support and Resources

If you or someone you know is suffering from depression, we encourage you to seek out help. Spend some time with the following resources to begin the journey of getting the help you need for yourself or someone you know who is struggling with depression. You don't have to suffer alone.

Websites: www.hope4mentalhealth.com A ministry of Saddleback Church featuring Pastor Rick and Kay Warren. www.nami.org National Alliance on Mental Illness— Helpline: 800-950-NAMI (6264) www.penetratingthedarkness.com A ministry of Terry Powell, a Christian professor who has spoken and written about living with depression. Books: Grace for the Afflicted: A Clinical and Biblical Perspective on Mental Illness by Matthew S. Stanford, PhD Grace for Children: Finding Hope in the Midst of Child and Adolescent Mental Illness by Matthew S. Stanford, PhD. Is Your Teen Stressed or Depressed? A Practical and Inspirational Guide for Parents of Hurting Teenagers by Dr. Arch Hart & Dr. Catherine Hart Weber Out of the Cave: Stepping into the Light when Depression Darkens What You See by Chris Hodges & Rick Warren Troubled Minds: Mental Illness and the Church Mission by Amy Simpson When the Darkness Will Not Lift by John Piper National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Help is available. Speak with someone today. Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. 800-273-8255 — Ann Cook

Dr. Kathryn Butler (MD, Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons) is a trauma and critical care surgeon who recently left clinical practice to homeschool her children. She has written for Desiring God and Christianity Today, and is the author of Between Life and Death (Crossway, 2019) and Glimmers of Grace: A Doctor's Reflections on Faith, Suffering, and the Goodness of God (Crossway, 2021). She also blogs at Oceans Rise.

SCAN ME

5 Simple Ways to Flourish in Prayer

by Ginger Harrington

Prayer is a vital part of our intimacy with God, a way to communicate and be present. Too often, I prayed to “get something” I wanted or needed. As we mature in faith, our prayer needs to include both asking for God’s help and seeking to know His heart. To flourish in prayer, we need to reach beyond request-driven prayer as we deepen our relationship with God.

Living in communion with God, we learn to pray as a way of enjoying one another. Seeking more of God is the heart of prayer, and it is a practical aspect of abiding in Him. When we flourish in prayer, our intimacy with God is increased.

We Don’t Need a Formula to Flourish in Prayer

Flourishing in prayer isn’t a matter of getting a formula correct. It's living in authentic connection with God, trusting that He listens to us. Be honest and real with God. Pour your heart out to Him in prayer. Abide in Him and trust in His Word.

Simple prayers often best convey our true thoughts and needs in the moment.

• “Help me, Lord.” • “I trust You, Father.” • “I love You, Lord.” • “Help me to pray.” • “What do You want me to learn in this situation?”

Prayer connects our hearts with God. When we believe God is good, faithful, and present, we begin to trust Him even when we struggle to understand our circumstances. How to Flourish in Prayer

Make the choice to live a prayer-filled life. In the fastpaced life we live in, we need to seek God wholeheartedly, trusting Him with our every concern. Practice some of these steps to help your prayer life flourish.

1. Pray in the moment. Keep a continuous conversation with God. Talk with Him throughout the day (Eph. 6:18; 1 Thess. 5:17).

2.Pray with confidence, trusting in God's grace and mercy. God has invited you to come confidently whenever you have a need. Take Him at His Word by praying with the assurance that He welcomes your prayer (Heb. 4:16; 10:19-22).

3.Pray with a thankful heart. Gratitude changes our perspective, shifting our attention from our problem to

God's power and presence (Phil. 4:6-7; Ps. 100:4, Col. 4:2).

4.Ask God to help you pray when you're not sure what or how to pray. The Holy Spirit helps us to pray in a variety of ways. Prayers don't always have words and we don't always know what to ask for. Trust the Spirit to help you pray (Rom. 8:26).

5.Watch to see what God does next. Pray with anticipation that God will work through your prayer.

Surrender your desires by trusting that God will give the best answer (Ps. 5:3; Hab. 2:1-3; Col. 4:2).

Lord, thank You for the gift of prayer. Teach me how to flourish in prayer. I want to know You more, sharing my life with You in prayer. Amen.

This adapted article first appeared at Planting Roots: Strength to Thrive in Military Life. https://plantingroots.net/5-simple-ways-to-flourish-in-prayer/. Used with permission.

Ginger Harrington is author of Holy in the Moment and publishing director for a military nonprofit. Additionally, she equips women to thrive in a deeper life with God. Connect with Ginger to get your free guide to overcome negative thinking and other resources at GingerHarrington.com.

JOURNAL

YOUR HEART

Journal Your Heart is designed with you and your relationship with God in mind—and to use this issue as a devotional. Take a few moments and let God speak to your heart and you to His through the articles you read.

WHAT BIBLE VERSE OR QUOTE STOOD OUT TO YOU AND WHY?

WHAT ARTICLE DID GOD USE TO SPEAK TO YOUR HEART TODAY AND WHAT DID HE SAY?

FOR TODAY

MY TAKEAWAYS Instant Jesus

by Jen Allee

When was the last time you called into a radio station to win something? I’m betting, like me, you were a kid—hopeful, optimistic, and naïve. I have a 15-yearold and he recently heard a DJ announce $1,000 to caller number 12. Determined to win, he whipped out his phone.

After quickly dialing, his brow furrowed in confusion. “Mom, what’s this sound?” He put the phone to my ear, and I heard what you always hear when you try to be the lucky caller in a radio contest: the busy signal.

Me: “That’s the busy signal.” Son: “What’s a busy signal?” Me: “What’s a busy signal? You have never heard this before?”

Then it hit me. He has never called someone and not gotten through! My blessed firstborn knows nothing of being told “not now, you have to wait, or try again later.” Those concepts are not in his vocabulary.

He is a product of our instant culture. The culture where any movie can be found, any information can be Googled, and any message can be emailed or texted—in an instant.

Technology has transformed how we communicate, learn, work, and play. The effects of speed have impacted our relationships, our workplaces, and our free time—and often for the better. There is one area, though, where speed doesn’t help us—our faith.

The concept that faster is always better has translated into our spiritual lives. We assume if we pray for something in the morning, it should be answered by noon. Five minutes of Bible reading on Monday should provide enough wisdom to last all week. If we face a difficult situation, Jesus better have it resolved quickly. We refuse to wait, persevere, or suffer. We want instant results, instant change, and instant happiness. If we don’t get it, we arrive at these conclusions: Jesus doesn’t affect our daily life, prayer doesn’t work, the Bible isn’t relevant, Jesus doesn’t care, or He isn’t strong enough to alleviate our pain.

But Jesus is not a vending machine. We don’t tell Him what needs to happen, and then tap our foot until He does it. We don’t bark orders or make demands. And you know what? Neither does He.

We are not puppets that He manipulates. We are humans that are deeply loved, that He has proudly created with high expectations. Expectations to live for a greater purpose.

Entertainment, communication, and hot food are available at the push of a button; healing a hurt, changing an attitude, or ceasing a bad habit are not. They require walking closely with our heavenly Father: asking questions, listening, obeying, surrendering, and believing, just to name a few.

Allowing Jesus to transform our lives takes effort. But it is so worth it! Nothing compares to knowing at the core of our being that we have let go of bitterness, walked away from a destructive habit, or been healed from a wrenching disappointment.

For that to be our experience, we must come to Him. Sit with Him. Listen to Him. And follow His lead. We can’t settle for a push-of-the-button experience with Him and expect our lives to be different. Faith is not instant, but it is also not overwhelming or unreachable. It’s intentional.

Are you ready for more in your life? Don’t settle for an instant Jesus. He doesn’t exist. Instead, join me in the coming issues to live intentionally. In fact, let’s start right now!

Be Intentional

Put a daily reminder on your phone to pray. Ask God, every day, to help you in that one area you need it most, even if it seems impossible!

Jen Allee is an author and a speaker who believes a strong faith is built one intentional step at a time. For encouragement in taking your next step, visit her at Living Intentionally at jenallee.com. jenallee.com

The Golden Key of Forgiveness

by Gail Goolsby

My lovely client gazed out the windows and said wistfully, “I just want the relationship with my brother-in-law to change. I need to get over the past four decades of offenses.

I feel stuck.”

Another client on the phone reported, “My mother is driving me crazy with her constant demands. I have two young teens to supervise with online schooling, a husband working from home, and chronic health issues of my own. Every day I hold back anger and wish she lived somewhere else.”

I opened an envelope and looked at three pages of uninvited words. After a ten-year silence, a former boss—who fired me, humiliated me, and shattered my confidence as a leader—wanted to reconnect. I thought I was done with that chapter of my life.

What power, what action, what key will release these locked up situations?

Forgiveness is a Powerful Key

When a hero is acknowledged by a certain community, it is tradition to give them the key to the city.

This is illustrated in Jesus’ life and sacrifice. Because we could not live sinless lives, Jesus paved the way to God, paid the required debt, and unlocked the door for all of us. Revelation 1:18 tells us this heroic achievement afforded Christ the “keys to death and hell,” authority over human life and our eternity.

Wise people recognize and seek the key Christ offers, gaining access to God’s kingdom on earth and ultimately in heaven forever. This is freedom from the slavery of sin’s power and the fear of death and eternal judgment.

Forgiveness is the Relational Key

Our response is clearly dictated by the Key-Giver in Matt. 6:14-15: “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

We must forgive others or be in trouble with God. Sigh. This is often hard work.

All the situations described above require forgiveness to move forward, not just once, but perhaps repeatedly as in the “seventy times seven” answer Jesus gave in Matt. 18:22. Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a heroic act of the will.

The steps to forgive start with the heart’s earnest plea to want to forgive the offender. The next action includes acknowledgement of disappointments, offenses, broken promises, abuse, neglect, abandonment, whatever has locked up our hearts. A detailed list shared with a trusted friend or counseling professional can be exhausting, but is needed to fully release the pent-up feelings.

Forgiveness brings in God’s holy light to dissipate the grip of bitterness. Our enemy loves to heap additional paranoia and vain imaginations upon the original pain. In our confession, we can find a way out of the darkness.

Sometimes the person we need to forgive is ourselves. The same steps apply to acknowledge our shortcomings, sin, offenses against another and going to that person or if not possible, straight to God, asking humbly for forgiveness.

Turning the powerful key of forgiveness by choice, begins to change us. We may need to repeat the process again. Forgiveness unlocks the door to possible reconciliation, although this is not a given or requirement by God. We are mandated to find peace with others as we are able (Rom. 12:18), but not necessarily restore a prior, perhaps unhealthy relationship.

Grab the keys of the kingdom Christ offers. Gain power to forgive, live in peace with others, and look forward to heaven. It is truly a golden opportunity.

Gail Goolsby, MA, MEd, ACC is an author, speaker, and career educator, including serving overseas as detailed in her recent book, Unveiled Truth: Lessons I Learned Leading the International School of Kabul. As a life coach, Gail believes there is support and encouragement in God’s Word to help us all learn to live well. She is a mom, grandma, and lives in south central Kansas, with her husband of 43 years. gailgoolsby.com % gail.goolsby@gmail.com F Gail Wettstone Goolsby T Gail Goolsby

You Flourish When You AbideBy Dorie Etrheim

minutes in the WORD

Growing up, my family planted a pumpkin patch. I tiptoed every day through the vines watching the pumpkins grow. In the fall and when we gathered the pumpkins, it was obvious which ones I had bumped and disconnected from the vine; they completely stopped growing.

Jesus says in John 15:5, “I am the vine, you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” Have you ever tried working hard to produce fruit for Jesus? Or tried to earn your relationship with Him? Jesus reminds us that in our strength, apart from Him, we accomplish nothing. Circle “remain/abide,” in John 15:4-11. List what Jesus says about abiding. How many times is this word repeated?

We are to remain in Jesus and remain in His love. Notice the result in verse 11.

What does Jesus say about Himself, the Father, and the Holy Spirit in John 14:15-23. Who initiates this relationship? What areas do you need to remain in Christ?

Digging Deeper

Remain/abide in the original language means “to remain in the same place, to be one’s lifestyle, to make this place your permanent home.” In other words, stay where you already are. He will keep us, grow us, bear fruit through us, and give us everything we need to flourish!

While nothing can separate us from Jesus, we can disconnect from Him and stop growing. Too often fears, insecurities, and busyness distract me and disconnect me from Jesus. I forget Who is in me and I begin striving in my own strength. There is no striving in abiding.

Abiding is a place of restful trust and dependence upon Jesus to do all He has said. Our role is to live in His presence, making Him the first person we turn to for direction and help.

For me, abiding starts in the morning, snuggled on the couch, wrapped in my blanket, picturing myself in the strong arms of Jesus. I sit there with Him, resting in His presence, soaking in His love.

Quieting your heart with Jesus and learning to just be with Him is a key to abiding.

Jesus says, “I am in my Father, and you are in Me, and I am in you” (John 14:20). Ponder this union—this intimate fellowship, security, and oneness of life we have in Christ, in the Father, sealed with the Holy Spirit. This is where we remain!

“I am the vine, you are the branches. If you remainin me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

For Your Journal

Read John 15:4-11 in the Amplified version. What does abiding in Jesus look like for you?

Name one practical way you can abide in Jesus and allow Him to love you today.

Journal how not adiding in Him keeps you from a flourishing life.