Adventures in Brewing, part uno

Author: omalleysdrank

So we tried our hand at brewing beer the first time in early May 2013. We (wifey and I with guidance from friend Erik) made an Oktoberfest ale and it turned out quite drinkable. We even threw in a little pumpkin pie spice with the priming sugar in one of the growlers, and it turned out quite pleasant. We decided to call it The O’Malleys O-Face O-Fest. There was much rejoicing, and we drank the whole batch in about a week and a half.

1/4

Fast forward to our new apartment in Boise here about a month ago. We tried an Oatmeal Stout recipe. There were several stages where things could have gone more smoothly, but overall we felt it was a successful, if a little rockier, second attempt. However, upon cracking open the first few bottles, we found that the beer ain’t so great. It has a very acidic sour/bitter flavor that completely overwhelms any subtle stout goodness that may be hiding. There are probably Reasons for this. They are beyond my feeble understanding, for now.

I don’t think this beer deserves a name but I’m going to give it one anyway. O’Malley’s Woeful Oatmeal. Oawful OatFail. Oh(-God-No)-Face Oatmeal.

2/4

Whatever, the point is, I’m having a hard time forcing myself to drink it. A good stout is mother’s milk to me (naturally, being Irish) so this is nigh unforgivable. Tis a shame. Obviously a learning experience as well. Normally I savor a cold beer, however friend Erik enlightened me to the possibilities unlocked by having a beer a little warmer. There’s an okay balance point somewhere between fridge and room temp for this one. Still not one I’d hand out proudly shouting “TASTE MY VICTORY!”, but marginally more drinkable.

I recommend pairing this Oatmeal Stout with the deepening sense that I kinda suck sometimes.

Or I got lucky with our first batch of beer. At the very least, I need much more practice. If you’ve had a similar experience, try to hold the feeling of self-resentment at your own utter failure in your mind as you savor the bitter flavor of defeat on your tongue. Yes, your terrible beer tastes like defeat. It happens.

BUT TAKE HEART, DEAR WANDERER, FOR ALL IS NOT LOST! Legend has it that there is such a thing as COOKING WITH BEER. And it matters not that your beer sucks. I recommend pairing this Oatmeal Stout with some bratwurst, a roughly chopped onion, and a slow cooker. Throw all that shit together and crank it up to high for one-point-five hours. And THEN you shall taste SWEET, SWEET VICTORY ONCE MORE! Salud.

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