O b s c u lta On the inside: Discerning Celibacy Lessons fr om the Desert Fathers
CELIBACY Celibacy is not attractive.
In a culture where sexuality is so consistently and vehemently glorified, a lifestyle that is determined by celibacy is not attractive. For most serious Catholics, I think we would pride ourselves on our resistance against the ideology of the secular world. And if we speak about how to approach one’s sexuality, indeed, many young people are waking up more and more to the fact that the secular dream of sexual freedom has not led to freedom at all. However, I think the impact of the larger culture has another layer of influence: most young men and women have an unconscious, unarticulated, and un-chosen, aversion to celibacy as a serious life option. Even amongst serious young Catholics, a half-realized judgment seems to have been made, “Celibacy for the Kingdom really can’t give me satisfaction in this life like marriage can.” This proposition, resting in one’s interior, remains untested for the vast majority of Catholic young people. I want to propose something different to young people: you would be a fool not to consider celibacy as a real life option for yourself. Why? Because considering it doesn’t cost you anything, and it only expands your options. The Kardashians and the Housewives have given you a narrative about your sexuality, and part of that narrative is that joy only occurs in romantic love. But that isn’t true. Look at our last three popes. Look at St. Teresa of Calcutta. Look at St. Maximillian Kolbe. And look at the train wreck of public personalities who have perpetuated a lifestyle glorifying earthly love beyond all proportion. Joy comes from holiness—a configuration of one’s life to the freedom of Christ, such that no circumstance, no opposition, no earthly power at all can take it away. God calls many people to be configured according to Celibacy for the Kingdom. Opening one’s heart to this possibility can only bring about a good end. So save your money (don’t give it to the Kardashians by watching their show!). Consider a call to celibacy! b y B r. L e v e n H a r t o n Vocations Director • vocations@kansasmonks.org
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r o f s tip
discerning celibacy
Wa n t t o t e s t y o u r a t t r a c t i o n t o a c e l i b a t e v o c a t i o n ? Here are some tips:
experience solitude Fo r r e a l . Extended periods of solitude. This will require you to be b o r e d . J u s t b e r e a d y f o r i t a n d d o n’ t l e t i t d e t e r y o u f r o m g i v i n g i t a g e n e r o u s a l l o t m e n t o f t i m e . I t d o e s n’ t c o u n t i f you bring your phone! Create solitude to encounter the Lord, not Steven Colbert youtube videos!
pray daily Celibacy is firstly a discipline to open our hearts to the Lord. Consistent prayer goes hand in hand with a celibate vocation. So your own habit of daily prayer gives you a f o r e t a s t e o f c e l i b a c y. Yo u m u s t d i s c o v e r h o w y o u t h i r s t f o r p r a y e r.
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put down the phone Tw o t h o u s a n d s i x - h u n d r e d s e v e n t e e n t i m e s – t h e a v e r a g e person touches their phone over 2,600 times – daily! M u l t i m e d i a i s n’ t e v i l , i t i s g o o d . I n m o d e r a t i o n . T h e i n s t a n t g r a t i f i c a t i o n w e r e c e i v e f r o m i t , h o w e v e r, h a b i t u a t e s u s t o a f a s t- p a c e d , o v e r- s t i m u l a t e d e x i s t e n c e t h a t c a n s t u n t o u r a b i l i t y t o p r a y. F a s t i n g f r o m m e d i a w i l l o p e n a n o t h e r dimension of your interior to you.
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giving
Their all I h a d a te r r ibl e se a son i n l i t tle l e ague in 4 th gr a d e . We were aw f ul. My dad w a s
by D r. Edward Mulholl and Benedictine College Professor of Theolog y
a bus y man and couldn’t make it to a lot of game s . That s e a s on, I didn’t mind. B ut he did m ake it to one game. I playe d my harde st at f irst-ba s e, and we lo st badly. I thought he would b e disapp ointe d, but he said, “ The re ally imp or t ant thing is to g ive your all. You gave it all you had, and that ’s what a dad w ant s to s e e.” A s a f ather, whether it’s school, sports or chores , I want my own children to give their all. As a Catholic parent, I know that I have the mission of modeling and fostering their response to God’s call to holiness . God created them with a mission in mind. Their own creation is also a vocation, a calling-into-being for a purpose. And that purpose is to show the world, as an image of God, what God is
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like. And what God is , in his inmost being , is All Love. A love that always gives , a love that gives all. It is the stress and joy of parenthood to watch your children grow and discern God’s call in their lives . My wife Valerie and I have been through the stages of our children, five boys and a girl, wanting to be professional athletes , astronauts , e ven a Disney princess . As middle school yields to high school and paddles past the rapids of college admissions , through their own prayer and through their active participation in parish and Catholic school communities , questions about vocations arise. Would I want my child to be a priest, religious , consecrated lay person? Would their generosity to a celibate vocation swindle me out of the grandkids I was supposed to have, which Scripture itself says is the crown of a life well lived, seeing my children’s children? The Church re co g ni ze s two w ays to g ive o ne s elf tot ally in love, in b o dy and s oul: f idelity in mar r iage and celibac y. (c f. Famili ar i s C on sor tio, n. 11) B oth are a tot al s elf-g iv ing to G o d. We would b e ver y humble d and over j oye d if G o d cho s e one of our children for such a b e autif ul w ay of imag ing his pre s ence in this world, liv ing a life cons e c rate d to Him a s Chr ist hims elf did. Their spir itual f r uitf ulne ss in such a vo c ation would b e a s much of a f r uit of our mar r iage a s any f r uitf ulne ss in g randchildren would b e.
“In Jesus, God places himself at the service of human beings! At the same time, he reveals the meaning of the Christian life and, even more, of the consecrated life, which is a life of selfgiving love, of practical and generous service”
Celibac y for the Kingdom is a tot al commitment to a G o d who ne ver do e s any thing half w ay. Pers onally, whate ver the y dis cer n a s G o d’s w ill, I w ant them, like my dad w ante d me a s a mini f irst-ba s eman, to g ive their all.
pope saint john paul II
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THEOLOGIES of CELIBACY
ASCETIC
I M I TAT I O N O F CHRIST
“Chastity includes an apprenticeship in self-mastery which is a training in human freedom. The alternative is clear: either man governs his passions and finds peace, or he lets himself be dominated by them and becomes unhappy” (CCC #2339).
“[Chastity] shows the disciple how to follow and imitate him who has chosen us as his friends, who has given himself totally to us and allows us to participate in his divine state. Chastity is a promise of immortality” (CCC #2347).
“Man’s dignity therefore requires him to act out of conscious and free choice, as moved and drawn in a personal way from within, and not by blind impulses in himself or by mere external constraint. Man gains such dignity when, ridding himself of all slavery to the passions, he presses forward to his goal” (Guadium et Spes #17) St. Jerome by El Greco
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“By the profession of the evangelical counsels the characteristic features of Jesus—the chaste, poor and obedient one—are made constantly “visible” in the midst of the world and the eyes of the faithful are directed towards the mystery of the Kingdom of God already at work in history, even as it awaits its full realization in heaven” (Vita Consecrata, #1). Stigmata of St. Francis of Assisi by Giotto
“All the baptized are called to chastity. The Christian has ‘put on Christ,’ the model for all chastity. [They] should cultivate it in the way that is suited to their state of life. Some profess virginity or consecrated celibacy which enables them to give themselves to God alone with an undivided heart in a remarkable manner” (CCC #2348) “In watchful waiting for the Lord’s return, the cloister becomes a response to the absolute love of God for his creature and the fulfilment of his eternal desire to welcome the creature into the mystery of intimacy with the Word, who gave himself as Bridegroom in the Eucharist” (Verbi Sponsa, #3)
KINGDOM OF H E AV E N “Virginity for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven is an unfolding of baptismal grace, a powerful sign of the supremacy of the bond with Christ and of the ardent expectation of his return, a sign which also recalls that marriage is a reality of this present age which is passing away” (CCC #1619). “The life of virginity is the image of the blessedness that awaits us in the life to come” St. Gregory of Nyssa by de Virginitate
THEOLOGIES of CELIBACY
SPOUSAL
Ecstasy of St. Teresa of Ávila by Francesco Fontebasso 7
Invited Loneliness Monastic Life is a life of contradiction; it is a life in which one finds freedom through obedience and deliverance through stability. So too does the monk find loneliness in community and true communion in solitude. St. Benedict says that the cenobites, those monks who live together under an abbot and rule, are the “strong kind.” But, he makes clear that life in community is in no way an end unto itself. Rather, it is a training ground for the solitude of the wilderness; it is preparation for the eremitic life, where the monk “goes from the battle line in the ranks of [his] brothers to the single combat of the desert” (RB 1:5). The fraternal life of the celibate is not a replacement for marital companionship. The brothers come together for mutual encouragement and strength, “supporting with the greatest patience one another’s weaknesses of body or behavior” (RB 72:5). But, instead of finding personal fulfillment and affirmation in his relationships, the new monk comes to the community only to be shown how inadequate other human persons are to filling his desire for interpersonal communion. In the course of his monastic life, he will be let down by his superiors and his brothers. He will at times feel alone and unloved. But, these hardships should only serve to deepen his desire for God: “Celibacy is the attitude, at once poignant and painful, of him who stands in the vanguard—one who accepts the loneliness of not having yet caught up with his heart’s desire.” The goal of the monk’s life in community is to come to a place in his life where he can do without the community. He invites loneliness into his life to learn that he depends on no one other than God: “Self-reliant now, without the support of another, [the monk is] ready with God’s help to grapple single-handed with the vices of body and mind” (RB 1:5). Though the way to this kind of perfection is hard won, St. Benedict assures us that it is through the narrow way of solitude that “our hearts overflow with the inexpressible delight of love” (RB Prol:49). Through stable fidelity to the monastic life, Christ everyday offers me a foretaste of these delights and strengthens me for the journey to that day when I will be filled with only His love. b y B r. K a r e l S o u k u p Asst. Vocations Director • vocations@kansasmonks.org 8 • Ob s c u lta
Wisdom f r o m t h e d e s e r t fat h e r s While still living in the palace, Abba Arsenius prayed to God in these words, ‘ L o r d , l e a d m e i n t h e w a y o f s a l v a t i o n .’ A n d a v o i c e c a m e s a y i n g t o h i m , ‘A r s e n i u s , flee from men and you will be saved. Having withdrawn to the solitar y life he made the same prayer again and he heard a voice saying to h i m , ‘A r s e n i u s , f l e e , be silent, pray always, for these are the source of s i n l e s s n e s s .’ Amma Syncletica said, ‘There are many who live in the mountains and behave as if they were in the town, and they are wasting their time. It is possible to be a solitary in o n e ’s m i n d w h i l e living in a crowd, and it is possible for one who is a solitary to live in the crowd of his own t h o u g h t s .’
From the sayings of Arsenius the Hermit I m a g e : S t . A n t h o n y t h e A b b o t & S t . P a u l t h e H e r m i t b y Va l á z q u e z
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celibacy first
by Br. Leven Harton
The proposal of the Church is simple: commit your
life to another person and you will find joy. Rather than spending your life seeking the next thing that your anxious heart proposes, walking past and leaving behind whoever happens to be inadequate to your fancy of the moment, settle down and commit to giving yourself away. It takes time and it takes work . But through it you gain your life back , trading the miser y of selfishness for the peace and freedom of holiness. This fundamental tenant that committing to another person is good lies at the heart of the Church’s tradition of two vocations: Marriage and Celibacy. The answer one makes to that question determines ever ything. If I give myself entirely to my wife and my kids, my life will be determined by that dynamic. If I give myself entirely to God in a commitment of celibate love, my life will be determined by Him. Saint John Paul II teaches us the same in his Apostolic Exhortation Vita Consecrata: “The Church has always taught the pre-eminence of perfect chastity for the sake of the Kingdom, and rightly considers it the “door” of the whole consecrated life.” So, if you are thinking of the priesthood or religious life, ask yourself : “Am I called to celibacy?” Of course no one is attracted to giving up marital love. But are you attracted to the possibility of something beyond it? That is the question. That is the beginning of discernment.
Chastity is a difficult, long term matter; one must wait patiently for it to bear fruit... But at the same time, chastity is the sure way to happiness. - st. john paul ii
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Obsculta is a tool for discernment & introduction to monastic life Provided by the Monks of St. Benedict’s Abbey. St. Benedict begins his Rule with a simple directive: Obsculta, the Latin for listen.
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