Top 10 NLP Techniques
Here are the top 10 nlp techniques that will propel you from being a Good coach to becoming a Great coach, and are vital for an NLP Practitioner. Stick around to the end – I’m going to share a crucial secret with you (no peeking)!
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Meta Model Questioning
Coaching is about powerful communication. The best communication (ergo, the best coaching) is all in the questions. Ask the right questions and the other person (your client, your partner, even yourself) is immediately propelled to look at their map of the world with new eyes.
The NLP Meta Model is a set of language patterns that pays emphasis on the deletions, distortions and generalizations that occur in everyday language use. We cause many of our problems by our unconscious use of language, especially when talking to ourselves. Asking ‘magic questions’ helps pinpoint what problems there are and to immediately look for their solutions.
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Modelling
“It’s all well and good to identify what needs to be done, but how does one go about doing it?” If you think that it’s a lot of hard work to figure out how to achieve excellence, you may have overlooked one important fact. Somebody out there has already practiced and demonstrated the very skill you are looking for. In fact, the very basis of NLP is in “modelling” – somebody who does it better than you currently are doing. One of the definitions of NLP is, ‘NLP is about Modelling Excellence‘. So, don’t re-invent the wheel. If you want to be a better coach, or your client wants to be better at a certain skill, get yourself a genius! Capture the astonishingly effective patterns
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of their unconscious such that a template or blueprint of this excellence can be generated, and then go get ‘em.
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New Behaviour Generator
“Okay, I have a model and studied him inside out. Now what?” In order to install their strategy in to your life permanently, you need to see the biggest truth of reality – YOU are the director of Your Life! And this is literally an NLP tool you can use. As the director, you get the actor (viz., you) to behave exactly as you want. Generate automatic changes in your behaviour by visualising yourself doing what you know will lead to better results. (And the Oscar goes to…)
This is a basic tool for all good coaches. This strategy is at the heart of mental rehearsal. Excel at guiding your clients jump in to their new world in their mind’s eye, and they will respond wonderfully in their outer world.
4.
Re-imprinting
Have you ever had that feeling when you are really raring to go, and instantly a deep fear sets in? “What if things go wrong?” is a common anxiety shared by even those who you think are most successful and it is generally rooted in one’s past. We are all imprinted with various experiences throughout life. They act as a template for various situations, and despite all our preparation, we continue to respond from a place of our past failures.
Part of re-imprinting is guiding the client to reinterpret their experience of an event. We may not be able to change the past, but we can change the way that we feel about it. And we can certainly change the way that the past affects us today. 3
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Changing Limiting Beliefs
Along with the rather messy experiences of life, seated deep in our psyche are limiting beliefs that we have carved out of our lives. Sometimes, we don’t even notice them and that is when they are strongest, sabotaging our every activity without our knowledge. Limiting beliefs prevent you from seeing opportunities and maybe even discourage you from trying at all. Anything you say to yourself to justify why it isn’t working out for you is a limiting and erroneous belief. Remind your clients that the single most significant difference between the ‘go-getters’ and the ‘procrastinators’ is their belief in themselves. Our beliefs and expectations shape our perceptions and (through time) the results we get in life.
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Memory Dissociation
Changing one’s life for the better will invariably bring up the messy bits of the past. All those past hurts and disappointments that have not been digested will regurgitate themselves, crying for attention. It is always essential to work on these memories as they come up during the coaching session.
Invariably, we tend to re-live memories as an actor within them. The disadvantage of associating into negative experiences is that you won’t access the learning from them. Your clients need to realise that negative experiences, just like the positive ones, occur only for the reason that we’re meant to learn certain lessons from them. These lessons make us stronger and more mature.
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Parts Integration 4
It is generally around this phase that the habit of procrastination rears its head. “I know I have to write this blog; I’ll get to it in five minutes…” “I know I have to go to the gym; I’ll go tomorrow…” ‘Parts’ are values and beliefs in your life that seemingly conflict with one another – one part of me knows I have to write, the other wants to spend five more minutes trolling Facebook. But, the thing is that they are both there for a positive intention, and only seem to get a little confused along the way. You will always find that even seemingly diametrical opposites such as ‘Freedom’ and ‘Security’ have the same highest positive intention – a feeling of being at peace. This tool can also be used when making the big decisions of life, “Should I keep my job or quit and take up birdwatching?”
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Fast Phobia Cure
“Yay, I got that sale and just have to close it by meeting the client. But I CANNOT take the elevator! Walls closing in… can’t breathe…” Whoa, relax! The NLP Fast Phobia cure works by allowing the traumatized individual, whilst in a safe relaxed state, to reprocess a traumatic event and discharge it completely. It is also known as the ‘Rewind Technique’ as it involves speedy rewinding of the video of the event, disconnecting any associated feelings. Rather than continually activating a terror response to the stimulus, you now feel relaxed and calm. As most of these problems begin in the mind, the solution exists there as well.
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Circle of excellence
As we keep working on the negative experiences and beliefs, building positive states of being is essential. The ‘Circle of Excellence’ is a form of ‘Anchoring’ in NLP enabling 5
you to get yourself into the right frame of mind and being, wherever and whenever you want. When guiding your clients, remember these 3 basic steps:
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Know how you want to feel – Bring up memories of how you were in the past
when you had experienced the desired state. 2.
Design a ‘Circle’ that works as your anchor – Visualise a circle in front of you and
bring up the memories in Step 1. Make it come alive and step in to your Circle.
Whenever you need this state of mind or being, just take a step forward in to your ‘Circle of Excellence’.
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T.F.A.R
We do everything in life twice – once in our inner world, and again in the outer world. The process starts with a Thought, which creates a Feeling that propels Action to achieve Results. Sometimes when someone already believes they can achieve something in the inner world, all that needs to be addressed is taking the right action needed to get where they want. See your destination as a vividly coloured snapshot always in front of you. “What Thoughts, Feelings and Actions did I take when last I had exceptional results? How do I apply the same to reach my new destination?” Now, here’s the secret I promised: The best coaches don’t just use these top 10 nlp techniques/tools for their clients, they use them first with themselves! See your highest destiny straight ahead. Hear your inner voice, “Now, that would be nice!” Smile at the vision and jump right in. 6
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