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Lost in Beirut The hardest thing in the world is to say something while thinking what everybody else says without thinking. Being stuck in the twister, loosing grip on my life when I know that it is not my fault. This is life with its highs and lows, its good and bad, even though the bad is overwhelming. What can I do to prove to you that I’m not a “freak of natureâ€?? I walk, I breathe, I eat, I live on the same planet, I walk under the same stars and when I cry, tears fall down from my eyes, and if you cut me, I bleed‌ so why are you trying to alienate me? So easy for me to know; so hard for you to find out what it’s like to be me. Who do you think you are to feel that you own the power to judge me? I only answer to God whose words you tried to twist against me. I’m sitting down in the middle of time with misery as my best friend and sadness as my soul-mate. My heart is breaking, falling and screaming “Please God help meâ€?, and you dare to turn Him against me? He didn’t make a mistake when He created me. I’m not a child of sin. I’m gay and I’m proud of it, and at the same time, I’m a believer and the Holy Book says that God is Love and I won’t forget that even though you’re trying to twist His words, we’re all His children and we will all die in the end, but I will only be judged in front of Him and by Him, not by you. When I sit down and think about what happened before and how many times I got confused about myself because of what you said, and how I thought of myself as a failure in the future. I pity the old me. I gave your thoughts significance and I let you make me suffer and make me reach the verge of suicide; and because of what? Because of a few words which were meant to break my will, but I have learnt how to fight back, and here I am with eight more lives ready for your best shot. From the outside, I will always be expecting you and waiting for your cruelty and insults. I’ll always act the tough guy‌ And yet, from the inside, I’m so much different than you. I’m a human being with emotions and feelings, being torn apart from the inside out and struggling to keep the inner me under control and keeping myself in line. I have too many hopes and dreams

to waste my life listening to you. There’s a whole world outside and I can’t wait to discover it. So, no matter what you say, my life is worth much more than a couple of words said by your ignorant mind, because even though you didn’t know, dreams are limited only by the borders of the mind. And right now, infinity rules my mind. Anyway, it’s almost midnight and it’s so cold in Beirut. My bones are shivering because of the coldness of your heart and I’m afraid to loose my grip. But after all were said and done, I know that I’m ready for the world. I’ll take your crap, face your ignorance and defy your stupidity because I’m here to stay even if I stand alone. I’ll just turn and take a look at my new path. I’ll drop the mask, bounce the ball of life, shed my last tear and kiss you goodnight.

Runaway Saint

Tourism

Lebanon as a gay holiday destination?

Why not? Of course, same-sex intercourse is still forbidden by law, but apart from that, the country has a lot to offer. Beirut is a great city, there are plenty of beaches, some of them even gay-friendly, beautiful mountains, many cultural highlights and good hotels and restaurants. What’s keeping the tourists from coming? Nothing, actually. Last year, a couple of gay men did visit Lebanon, and raved about it. Gay tourism, though, is a pretty western kind of thing. Not many Arab tourists will admit they are coming to see the gay life; although I’m sure lots of them indulged in it. And that’s the point: Lebanon has not yet reached the star-status of a major tourist destination in Europe and America. Many people there see the country as a security risk – as they see other countries in the region. You might notice a trend. Only look at the numbers of tourists visiting Jordan. Those have dropped dramatically as well. So, Lebanon has an image problem, rather than not enough on offer. For the gay tourist, this country is simply not interesting enough. There is a “gay life”, but much of it is hidden. Lebanon in that respect is somewhat of an exception in the area. Here, every night of the week, gays meet, more or less in public. We have a publicly known, and very popular, gay nightclub, several bars, restaurants and coffee shops in which gays hang out. The “hammam” life is special for people from countries other than the Middle East and also well worth discovering. In general, the weather is great, and even in winter, there is enough to look forward too: great skiing in the mountains! That is not the problem: politics are. Politics, but not internal politics. The fact is that law still forbids gay intercourse and might scare off some people, but not all. Look at Morocco, a Walhalla for many gay tourists, although the country is really not know for being gay-friendly. A Walhalla though, and because of the same things as Lebanon has on offer; Lebanon even has more! In Morocco, the nightlife cannot be compared to the bustle of Beirut, and let’s be honest: that’s where, at night, its happening.

But Morocco lies on the outskirts of the Arab world, has many ties to Spain and France because of the proximity and has not suffered from a civil war in the recent past. That’s it: Beirut for many probable tourists is still synonymous with guns and shelling. Not only gay tourists are staying away, but also others! The politics of ‘the axis of allies’, which are currently at work in Iraq, and the war in Palestine and Israel has of course not helped. When normal tourism from western countries returns to Lebanon, gay tourism will start, you can be sure of that. There is certainly a market: many European and American gays are quite interested in the Middle Eastern culture, and men! Promotion is the key-word. Let the outside world know that Lebanon is safe and has everything the spoiled tourist wants, and thing might pick up. And of course: hope for the conflicts to end. That is: if you want Lebanon to be among those countries known as gay destinations. But that’s another article…

Staf de Cock - Belgium

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