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'Once upon a time, there was a mother with three children. The youngest one was only about 3 and was absolutely in love with his mother. He would spend hours on her lap looking at her lovingly, and as he looked at her, he would see her, but also beyond her. He would see a second woman, equally loving and beautiful, who would sometimes merge with his mother or look as if she were a little behind her. To the child, it did not matter. For him, both these women were his mother and this feeling of absolute oneness, when he looked at her was a perfect, indescribable bliss for the child. Until one day, some men came from the town and said they were looking for male children to take to the army school, to raise them as soldiers to protect the city. Stunned, the little child watched his mother enthusiastically offering to give her own child to the army school: him! The child could not believe his ears: how could it be, there must be something wrong...The men saw the child and said 'No, he is too young, don't you have older boys?' She did, but insisted to give this one away. The men reluctantly agreed, while the little child felt betrayed, shattered and in agony. It was a great honor to have a child in the army school, but for the little boy, it didn't mean anything. All he knew was that he would lose his mother, or that, he had been given up, betrayed. The heart of the child was totally broken. For him, the mother had died. Both mothers had died. The day they came to take him, his mother held him tight and cried to leave him. This confused the child even more. Why is she crying, when she is choosing this? She can say no. She did not. And the child just did not have the words to express himself, his confusion, his anguish. He was taken, never to return home. At the army school, there were other children, mostly older ones. The little boy was feeling sorry for them, their stories involved death of parents, abandonment, neglect. Their leaders and trainers did not abuse them, but they did not love them either. They trained them in strict discipline, to look after themselves, to fight, to chant, to cook, to recite and there was a sense of nobility and honor to what they were doing: their purpose was to defend the country. Noble as the purpose was, the leaders could not see that the children also needed love to be the true fighters of the future. When the little boy reached the age of 10, the trainees would give a demonstration of their newly acquired skills to the people of the city. His mother was there. She came alone, anxious to see him. During the demonstration, her eyes anxiously tried to meet his and he avoided them at all times. In the end, she came expectantly to tell him: 'Hello, I am your mother'. The reply was 'Which mother? I do not have a mother'. She left with a broken heart. She loved her child and this is why she came to see him. Perhaps she did not love him enough to keep him, perhaps she made a mistake, but her child not recognizing her was very tough. The child, of course, remembered her visually. But in his heart, truly, his mother had died. His heart had been broken and frozen, when
he was given away. No love could come in or out of his heart, ever again in his life. It was done. The young boys grew up to be fierce warriors. But as warriors, brought up without love, they did exactly what they had been trained to do: exercise power without love. They turned against their own people in the end, ignoring the protests of their aging leaders and their rules, abusing power and establishing a harsh greedy regime on the community. Instead of protecting the city from outsiders, they were the ones to overtake power in the city, to overpower others. Heartlessly, as they had been treated. Their leader became that youngest boy of 3, the one who was too young to be taken to the army school. He ruled ruthlessly, until a new generation of army children, even younger than he had been, came to power, assassinated him and took over. After his taking, it became an established habit in the community to take even younger children, almost toddlers... This new generation was much wilder and more aggressive than the hero of our story. The army school had unknowingly done great damage to the children and, ultimately, to the community itself. While still in power, the man met bumped into his mother once. She said angrily to him: "This is not what I sent you to the army school for!". Yet, the anger was now pointless: everyone, including her, him, the trainers, the community had their role to play, yet had also all been victims of ignorance.' This (true) story could have played itself anywhere in the world, anytime. It has been repeated many times over. It is still being repeated. From children's army camps of ancient Sparta, to child soldiers at conflict regions in today's Africa, to gang networks of modern western cities and to common criminals, who feel compelled to violence, since this is the only way they know to relate. We know today that, for all the proper training and raising of children, the absence of love, can lead to little dictators or criminals. Yet, it happens again and again... But, beyond the commonplace lessons, this story gives another key factor, a rather unrecognized one: the other mother... The loss or betrayal of the mother is one of the most devastating experiences on the human journey. It affects the individual for a whole lifetime and it can scar the soul for many lifetimes to come. Yet, it is also a very common experience. We all have been orphaned or abandoned or betrayed by our mothers in some lifetimes, across our soul's journey and we all have been on the giving end too. When a human experience can be so detrimental and yet so common, there is something more going on than just bad luck: it represents a key spiritual lesson for our humanity, a whole theme of spiritual wounding. The saying 'what is most personal, is most common' gains spiritual significance for the soul journey of all humanity. What is longed for, from the depths of humanity's heart, is the connection with the DIVINE Mother. The key point in the story above was the severed connection with the OTHER mother. Had the little boy been able to retain, in any way or form, the feeling and memory of the other mother, the story could have had a totally different outcome...
Humanity's connection with Spirit has suffered in many ways, but the Divine Mother, in particular, has been almost an unrecognized lost love for humanity, for a very long time. This is being reflected in failing relationships of human mothers with their children, but the root cause of the suffering goes beyond developmental psychology... It is the broken bonding with the Mother of mothers... The ecstatic fusion the baby feels, when he looks deeply into his mother's eyes, is the total connection with the Mother behind his mother. This Mother is always present, but expresses Herself more vividly on the human plane, if the human mother, who is Her channel, is connected with Her in her heart. But, whether the human mother is healed or not, the Divine Mother is always there for the baby. The experience of fusion is actually a spiritual experience and, just like in our story, some babies can actually see the Mother behind their mother... Human mothers can fail. It is natural, it is common, it is part of human nature. Human motherly love, as all human love, is imperfect. Human mothers may have their hearts scarred and closed, may be are addicted to drugs, or perhaps, they did not want the child in the first place. Human mothers may be affected by cultural expectations about having or not having a child, or they may use a child for their own personal needs, like gaining the 'mother' status in their community, or gaining a monthly allowance, or simply having the child do chores. Human mothers can leave their child for a new husband, human mothers can show preference to siblings and, to cut a long sad story short, human mothers can also die. Each of these can happen easily. The effect on the child is detrimental, as in the previous story and in many stories... Why? How can it be? How can it heal? The problem comes when the failings of the human mother tempts the child (innocent still in his heart) to sever the cord of connection with the Divine Mother also. This is a very strong temptation, a very tough spiritual lesson and for the child and it happens almost instantaneously and unconsciously. It has happened so many times to so many people. Without the connection to the DIVINE Mother, the human feels really lost. The child, and all adults around him, think the devastation is because of the loss of the human. It is, of course, but in reality, just like in our story, it is the deeper loss, the double loss, that damages so profoundly. In this last spiritual cycle of several thousand years, in which humanity distanced itself from Spirit and from the Goddess in particular, masses of people lost their way to the Mother, with all consequences. The failing of human mothers was just the effect and, a further aggravating trigger, for the distancing between humanity's heart and the Divine Mother. Women could not give what, in spiritual experience, they did not have. And still, taking into account, the distancing from the Light and the abuses many women have gone through, the majority of them are achieving motherhood surprisingly well. In this new age, children need to be taught from a young age been about the Divine Mother. To have an icon or a symbol of Hers perhaps, to talk to Her, to know that She is always there for them, that She always loves them. The best person to do this is their human mother. What better than to say to them:
"You love me and I love you. But as much as I love you and much more than any human can love another, your other Mother always loves you. She is the Divine Mother, and She is always with you, whether I am around or not". This gives the child a good start to build a real, so-needed, relationship, with the Divine Mother, which is everyone's divine right. And as their right, children deserve to know about the reality of the connection, about this source of solace and love in their lives. If their own mother is not in a position to tell them, someone else must. Schools, perhaps. From a certain perspective, it is very cruel to deprive children of the knowledge of the existence of spiritual beings, who love them constantly and unconditionally. It may seem to us as perfectly justified and 'neutral' now, but, I believe that in the years to come, people will be looking back with shock, as to how we now hide such a crucially important and spiritually nurturing knowledge from our children... What is the quality of this relationship with the Divine Mother, which is everyone's divine right? It is the feeling that the Divine Mother is always there for you. It is the feeling that the Divine Mother loves you totally, absolutely, unconditionally and with all Her heart and Being. It is the feeling that the Divine Mother admires you and rejoices in you, totally, for who you are, not what you do, or what you seem to be, but just for being as you are, now. It is the knowing that the Divine Mother never leaves you. It is the knowing that the Divine Mother always cares about you, cares about the truth of your heart, cares about you being happy or sad. She doesn't intellectualize with you or run away from your pain. The Divine Mother really cares about how you truly feel. The Divine Mother is always tender, reassuring, supportive and She is always pleased to see you. The Divine mother would always be there for you, without thought for Herself. There is no possibility of rejection from the Divine Mother, ever, because, for the Divine Mother, you are the most important thing there is. The Divine Mother would never give up on you, no matter what you did. Ever. The Divine Mother would always rejoice and marvel in you. For Her, you always are the most beautiful wonder in the world. Obviously, the above would be a little unrealistic to expect from a human, even from the best human mothers in the world (though there are quite a few who are getting there!). Yet, they are not unrealistic for SPIRIT. This is the DIVINE mother we are talking about. And the above, are everyone's divine right...We need to know that this is what we deserve. Regardless of what we got, from our human mothers. This is what we deserve, because of who we are, because of being children of God. I feel that the Divine Mother wishes us to know this, and that She is here, offering this love, which is ours, just for the taking. Time to let our human mothers off the hook, let them be
human (rather than expect the human to be Divine) and turn to Her, the True Source. I feel that the Divine mother also wishes the children of the world to know that She is there, offering Her love, which is their divine right also. And there are many children in the world right now, who desperately need Her. Praying that they find Her, in whatever way and time is appropriate for them, is one of the greatest services we can do for these children. They are many. On the other hand, man and woman are made in the image of God and Goddess. So, these are attributes that human mothers can aspire too, this is what we can become and give to others also. To achieve this, we first need to heal our own relationship with the Divine Mother and receive Divine Mothering for ourselves... We cannot give what we haven't got. Through healed human mothers, the Divine Mother can manifest on Earth more easily and for humanity. Yet, human mothers can never replace Her. This is where psychotherapy stops. Healing the wound of the human mother is one thing. But the human mother cannot become a 'god' to us. This is an illusion and an expectation which leads to bitter (and expensive) disappointment. Psychotherapy certainly has its role to play, but it is the time to move beyond its limitations. The Divine Mother is re-anchoring Herself on Earth, She is the Truth and we are all Her children, in Truth. Everyone has the right to heal and reclaim the relationship with the Divine Mother, whatever their age, whatever their life story...When we find the Divine Mother, it matters little what human mothers have or have not done to us. When children learn to tap into the reality of the Divine Mother's love, they will feel stronger, less lonely, more loving and indeed, war and conflict will wipe themselves out. There will no longer be any fuel for them.
Victoria Prekate is a psychologist, educator and writer, based in Athens. She has extensive experience of working with children and families on issues of school performance, self-esteem, parent-child relationships, child abuse, as well as women's issues. She has published several books in Greece on child protection and intra-partner violence and she is actively involved in building self-esteem in children through charity work in schools. She is very interested in spirituality and, particularly, in involving the spiritual perspective in her counselling. More on http://www.victoriaprekate.blogspot.com
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