DECEMBER 2013 VOL XIII ISSUE III SYRACUSE, NEW YORK your student fee
JERK UNDER
JERKMAGAZINE.NET
THE MISTLETOE.
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CONTENTS DECEMBER 2013 5 6 7 8
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FROM THE EDITOR FEEDBACK PEEPS JERK THIS
18 POP ART
What you should hit up and bitch about this month.
20 THE D-LIST
The muddled line between art and celebrity.
Never listen to Thought Catalog again.
BACKDROP Jeffery Mayer
10 CLICKBATE 11 TOTALLY UNSCIENTIFIC POLL Texting
22 UNSATISIFRIED Can a happy meal be a healthy one too?
SMUT FEATURES
12 SEX Jerking Off
13 FRAMED
BITCH OPINIONS 14 A CITY DIVIDED The city’s biggest roadblock is coming to a head.
16 HOLIER THAN THOU? Praise his holiness—or not.
24 HE CAN DO IT, TOO! Male feminists work to end gendered violence.
30 ONE FOR THE MONEY Panasci helps young entrepreneurs jumpstart their businesses.
34 DOWN AND DIRTY Through the bumps and bruises, the SU women’s rugby team is one roughand-tumble family.
GAWK FASHION 38 MEN ABOUT TOWN A lesson in layering and (very) personal style.
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47 STRIPPED
NOISE ARTS & MUSIC 48 CHANGE VERSES CONTINUITY
Some things are better left unsaid, but we're sharing them anyway.
Let your clothes do the talking.
Cover Illustrated by Jesse Handelman 2 12.13
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CLE
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RTI S
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HAV
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52 TELL ME NO LIE
24 46
58 REWIND Michael Jackson
NO
MO
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THA
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BR
AN
D.”
59 ALTRUIST Lena Dunham
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60 AMPLIFIED Perfect Pussy
61 SYNAPSE Drink to That
62 DISCOVERSYR
64
Beer Belly Deli & Pub
64 SPEAKEASY
62
Professor Laurence Thomas
65 OBITCHUARY Maps
66 FORM AND FUNCTION Latte funds not included.
46 CLOSET CASE
RE
What your four-eyes say about you.
Hip-hop's newest movement accepts the changing LGBTQ faces of the genre.
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“OU
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Did you know...?
Experiencing embarrassment for someone else activates the part of the brain that processes emotions associated with pain—which is why we cringe. JERK
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LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
Riyana Straetker
EXECUTIVE EDITOR
Laura Cohen
Mary Wagner
MANAGING EDITOR
CREATIVE DIRECTOR
EDITORIAL
Riddley Gemperlein-Schirm OPINIONS EDITOR Diana Pearl ASST. OPINIONS EDITOR Leigh Miller STYLE EDITOR Joelle Hyman ASST. STYLE EDITOR Julie Kosin MUSIC AND ARTS EDITOR Benjamin Bondy ASST. MUSIC AND ARTS EDITOR Cori Rosen RESEARCH EDITOR Michelle van Dalen COPY EDITORS Erin K. Kelly, Eric King FACT CHECKERS Erin G. Kelly, Roxy Silver FRESHMAN INTERNS Collin Gordinier, Ryan Harper EDITOR AT LARGE Daisy Beccera FEATURES EDITOR
DESIGN
Maddie Kelly Paris Bethel, Andrea Bolf, Sara Easterling, Jennifer Powers DESIGN DIRECTOR DESIGNERS
ART
Sarah Kinslow Allen Chiu, Ilana Goldmeier, Penelope Vasquez STAFF ILLUSTRATORS Hillary Cianciosi, Dylan Cownie, Anna Ellis, Adrian Hatch, Christina Mastrull, Lise Sukhu PHOTOGRAPHY DIRECTOR STAFF PHOTOGRAPHERS
BUSINESS WEB
Teresa Nigolian ASST. WEB EDITOR Alissa Pulver COPY EDITOR Kelley Rowland FACT CHECKER Erika Zoffer DESIGNER Jackie Barr
EXECUTIVE WEB EDITOR
Justin Dorsen Rachel Meyer AD DESIGNER Hannah Blauner AD REPS Brianna Dutton, Jacob Gillon, Emily Hook PUBLISHER
AD DIRECTOR
PUBLIC RELATIONS MULTIMEDIA
Cassie-Lee Grimaldi ASST. MULTIMEDIA DIRECTOR Annie Pettinga PODCAST DIRECTOR Lakota Gambill MULTIMEDIA STAFF Brittany Bart, Michael Moates PODCAST STAFF Brianna Couture, Chloe Miller, Haley Schluter, Sawyer Rosenstein, Keely Sullivan, Lucy Tomkiewicz, Melissa Viola Nawojski, Malcolm Whitfield MULTIMEDIA EDITOR
Ryan McGlynn Tori Coté PR DESIGNER Meghan Burns PR REPS Brittany Anderson, Hannah Ruben, Mariann Yip COMMUNICATIONS DIRECTOR SOCIAL MEDIA DIRECTOR
CONTRIBUTORS
PJ Alampi, Ryan Brondolo, Juan Carmona, Christian Eatman, Megan French, Jesse Handelman, Susanna Heller, Kiera Henderson, Angela Kim, Hannah Melton, Naomi Pinkus, Maggie Quigley, Miles Ray, Erin Reimel, Sarah Schuster, Reina Shinohara, Carter Sims, Sam Sodomsky, Chelsea Stahl, Shira Stoll, Miriam Taylor, Alexa Voss
Melissa Chessher
I’ve got quite a bit in common with goldfish. I may not have their vibrancy or gills, but I do share their lack of memory. While my roommates have to constantly remind me that I’m repeating anecdotes, my short-term memory loss doesn’t affect my powers of observation. So I may not remember what I’ve seen—but you can be sure I definitely did see it. I’m talking about you, girl in the third row who obsessively bites off her split ends. Even you, boy two seats to the right, as you sneakily try to pare off your hangnails. And you too, professor nervously pulling at the hem of your sleeve every time a student asks a question. All the nervous ticks you wish you could hide, I undoubtedly notice. But my hyperawareness leaves me petrified of what others might see from me. I catch myself picking off my split ends, and then furtively look around to see who noticed. Or biting at hangnails, then slowly lowering my hand—as if that makes it less obvious. And I hope I’m subtle when I tug the hem of my shirt if I feel like a professor might ask me a question. Because my worst fear is that there’s another me out there, watching all the little things I do that I’d rather no one notice. Any time I think someone may be keenly watching my every move, I feel a deep desire to curl up in a little ball—hoping the fetal position will deter any unwelcome eyes. And yet maybe these personal observations are what unite us—a small dose of daily proof that we’re all human. Or maybe I’m just paranoid. This month in Jerk we make some astute observations of another kind. Check out page 35 for some truly detailed photos of the SU women’s rugby team. Or you could read about the men taking a stand against interpersonal violence in a very visible way (page 25). And if you’re looking to really push your boundaries, head over to our cover story on the fate of I-81 (page 14). But if you’re more the hide-from-prying-eyes type, I suggest discretely reading Jerk in class. It’s what I would do. Don’t look at me,
ADVISER
Through its content, Jerk is dedicated to enhancing insight through communication by providing an informal platform for the freedom of expression. The writing contained within this publication expresses the opinions of the individual writers. The ideas presented in this publication do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the Jerk Editorial Board. Furthermore, Jerk will not be held responsible for the individual opinions expressed within. Submissions, suggestions, and opinions are welcomed and may be printed without contacting the writer. Jerk reserves the right to edit or refuse submissions at the discretion of its editors. Jerk Magazine is published monthly during the Syracuse University academic year. All contents of the publication are copyright 2013 by their respective creators. No content may be reproduced without the expressed written consent of the Jerk Editorial Board.
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Riyana Straetker P.S. I'd like to thank our graduating seniors Daniel and Julie (pictured) for creepily watching me this past year.
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Photo by: Chelsea Stahl
I SEE YOU
EDITOR
Daniel Taroy
PEEPS
FEEDBACK Thanks for Jerking with us one last time this semester. Now that it’s the finals countdown, here’s another reason to procrastinate before a week of bullshitting your way through that art history exam. Rachel Nicole @LockhartRN "Ignorance is Bliss" and "Free Pass" were my favorites this issue. Definitely worth a read. @jerkmagazine Nov. 5
SHOW US SOME LOVE Jerk Magazine 126 Schine Student Center Syracuse, NY 13244 @jerkmagazine jerk@jerkmagazine.net jerkmagazine.net
Annemarie Menna @Annie_atlas The layout and design of @jerkmagazine just looks more and more beautiful with each issue. Swoon. Nov. 4 Hill Communications @HillCommPR Seeing colorful boxes all around campus? Must be the latest cover of Jerk! Congrats on another excellent issue @JerkMagazine! Nov. 4
REINA SHINOHARA
KIERA HENDERSON
Sophomore Bandier student Reina Shinohara loves Christmas. Not just because of the holiday itself, but because it’s the only time of the year when people don’t think the colors red and green look ugly together. She's always trying to be cool, but this doesn't mean not listening—at least in private—to her guilty pleasures of bad 90s alternative music. Check out her queer hip-hop feature (Page 48).
Kiera Henderson can’t wait to study abroad
SUSANNE HELLER
ERIN REIMEL
in London next semester so she can buy an outrageously tall pair of platform sneakers to help with her self-described “dwarf height.” The junior fashion design major also wants to go to Japan because she’s obsessed with Harajuku fashion. She shared some of her fashion know-how to help put together Gawk's feature shoot (Page 38).
Ben Jones @benjones422 Technical difficulties at the SA meeting. Wish I had a copy of @JerkMagazine to pass the time. Nov. 4 Hannah Bibighaus @BEE814 Senior bucket list. To be featured in @jerkmagazine. Nov. 4
Phil Porter @PhilPorter13 Couldn't agree more @jerkmagazine Nov. 5
FOLLOW, DON’T LEAD:
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facebook.com/jerkmagazine
@jerkmagazine
vimeo.com/jerkmagazine
Jerkify Syracuse
Freshman television, radio, and film major
If Erin Reimel could breed two animals together,
Susanna Heller’s hero is her grandma. Besides just
she’d choose a zebra and a flamingo. The result:
being awesome, her grandma turned 93 years old
a flamingbra—a hot pink and black zebra that
in November, still practicesTai Chi, and participates
stands on one leg. But don’t bring any dried-up
in anti-war protests. Maybe when the New
rubber bands around this sophomore magazine
Jersey native goes home for the holidays she’ll
major (she’s terrified of them) or she might have
break out her favorite childhood toys: American
to cast an Avada Kedavra curse on you, à la
Girl Dolls. She got to vicariously fulfill her
Harry Potter. Her Bitch piece (page 20) takes on
dress-up dreams for her Backdrop piece (page 9).
something else she has an issue with: listicles.
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BACKDROP BACKDROP
SHIT WE LIKE, AND SHIT WE LIKE TO AVOID.
The Sue Anne Genet Costume Collection
HIT
After years in storage, this collection finds a new home in the Warehouse. Professor Jeffery Mayer stands in front of racks of early 1900’s era garments.
THE MUSIC MAN AT THE RED HOUSE For anyone who wants to go to River City without, you know, actually going. Premieres Dec. 5
THE RUSSIAN BALLET'S GREAT RUSSIAN NUTCRACKER AT THE LANDMARK THEATRE Don't be surprised if Putin's a no-show. Dec. 6
20TH ANNUAL DICKENS' CHRISTMAS IN SKANEATELES
The only time we'll put up with old-timey carolers. Through Dec. 24
DAME MAGGIE SMITH'S BIRTHDAY Please don't die on us, McGonagall. Dec. 28
PILLSBURY CHRISTMAS COOKIES Santa's not checking his list for calories.
CHRIS BROWN'S X
So that's still happening. Dec. 3
HANUKKAH ENDS
Great—putting the menorah away early this year. Dec. 5
GRANDFATHER FROST'S STORIES OF RUSSIA AT OPEN HAND THEATRE It's not Christmas until there's an old man thrusting puppets in your face. Dec. 14
JUSTIN BIEBER'S BELIEVE IN 3D
Who needs the documentary when we'll get the E! True Hollywood Story anyway? Dec. 25
PACKING FOR WINTER BREAK
Hopefully Svedka fits into a carry-on.
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The collection has a “simply irresistible” lone rack of men’s clothing that Mayer acquired through auctions.
Established in 1984, the collection has thousands of articles of women’s clothing and accessories dating back to the 1820’s.
Designers range from Chanel to Dior to unknown vintage prieces salvaged from thirft stores.
By Susanna Heller : Photos by Ilana Goldmeier Behind a set of plain-looking double doors on the seventh floor of The School of Visual and Preforming Arts’ Warehouse lies what is, ironically, one of the most vibrant spots near campus. Often referred to as “Fiji,” kept at 70 degrees Fahrenheit year-round, and virtually free of humidity, this could be the perfect spot for Spring Break 2014 or, better yet, 3,500 pieces of vintage clothing. Racks full of perfectly preserved garments, meticulously sorted by decade and designer, are rolled and maneuvered around as curator, professor Jeffrey Mayer, flits about the collection, discussing his favorite pieces and life-long love of the fashion industry. Some standouts include
a Bill Blass Jacket depicting a Matisse painting, the gown Syracuse University alumna Vanessa Williams wore when she was crowned Miss America, and a white gown Mayer insists is possessed. The room seems full, but not cluttered— yet Mayer apologizes for the mess. “After the School of Architecture took over Slocum Hall in 2008, the collection was put into off-campus storage,” Mayor says. “We just moved into this space in 2011, so we’re still in the process of organizing.” The collection is open to all SU students and anyone can take pieces into a private room for further inspection. After all, we could all use a break from the cold in SU’s own couture house. JM JERK
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CLICKBATE
X
TOTALLY UNSCIENTIFIC POLL
WHAT WE GOT OFF TO ON THE WEB THIS MONTH.
MASTERS OF TEXT
.net
For better or worse, we’ve come a long way since the first text message was sent on Dec. 3, 1992. In honor of the momentous occassion, Jerk polled 50 students in Bird Library on their texting tendencies.
What's happening with Jerk on the web
DECIPHER THE DRUNK TEXT:
WORST TEXTING MISHAP?
oaijksdldoashoipgreuper
Welcome to Night Vale This fictional podcast of the humdrum community of Night Vale is filled with reports of supernatural disasters and government conspiracies, successfully reviving public radio in the process. Created in 2012, the scripted bimonthly podcast is the most popular in America, with the host matter-of-factly relaying hyper-surreal happenings. When the community faces a schism in the time-space continuum, a horde of dinosaurs descend on the PTA meeting—and the crisis is a standard Tuesday evening. Check out @ NightValeRadio on Twitter before you tune in—and whatever you do, don’t even think about the dog park.
Send
Get your online music fix every week with our Replay column. This month, we break it down with alternative pop-rock group Paradise Fears, and trust us when we say you’ll want to hear what these up-andcomers have in store.
34% 32% 28% 6%
I want Sliders. Want to hook up? I can’t feel my toes. Have you seen my phone?
WHAT EMOJI COULD YOU NOT LIVE WITHOUT? Recently Used
Residents of South Campus, take note: Free app Cooking Planit serves up step-by-step directions on how to cook dishes so everything finishes at the same time. No more cold beans on burritos or unneccessary fire alarms— you’re welcome.
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Real Life Instagram @_LadyBoners Englishman Bruno Ribiero filters your favorite London landmarks at reallifeinstagram.com. His series literally casts social media in a new light, putting physical cutouts of likes and hashtags around the city. You wish your Instas were this good.
With steamy photos of hot celebrities, @_LadyBoners objectifies men for a change. Now everyone can drool over selfies, portraits, 1 and movie stills of the sexiest celebrity men. Hey boy, so glad to see you on my Twitter feed today.
PHOTO CREDIT: podbay.fm
Cooking Planit
36% 22% 19% 15% 8% WORST AUTOCORRECT?
54% GAVE = HAVE
16%
PISSED = PUSSED
8%
SHIT = SHIP
64%
WHERE DO YOU STAND ON SEXTING? FUCK = DUCK
22%
WHEN YOU SEND THE TEXT TO THE PERSON YOU'RE TEXTING ABOUT.
No dick pics for me, please. 76% It spices things up— but can get bad fast if it goes viral. 22% Steamy words sent straight to your phone— what could be better? 2%
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BITCH SEX
FRAMED
JERKing Off Self-pleasure is very personal. So when other people—and objects—come into play, things can get a little weird. We asked around campus for the scoop on your most memorable masturbating stories.
FEELING FROZEN
"I read somewhere that you could masturbate with a Popsicle—so I gave it a try. I went numb pretty fast, then it melted and I got all sticky everywhere. I guess I did it wrong."
KLEEN IT UP
"I was jacking off and took the usual route of cleaning up my mess with tissues. I left them scattered across my bedroom floor when I fell asleep. I awoke the next morning to my cleaning lady picking up said tissues with her bare hands, no gloves and no clue. Let’s hope she had some Purell."
HOMECUMMING
MOANING MYRTLE
"I had a roommate who had a vibrating dildo. One day, she was watching porn in our dorm room and thought the door was locked. It wasn’t. I walked in and she quickly covered herself, but her computer dropped with the porn still playing, and her dildo whirling under her sheet. I moved out the next semester." "My roommate has always taken really long showers. I just thought she was slow and liked to be really clean, until I heard her moaning repeatedly the other night after about 15 minutes of steaming. I guess she’s been cleaning deeper than I thought."
TAKE A SEAT
"My friends and I bought our friend a vibrator for his birthday. He was worried he would fall in the shower, pass out, and be found with a dildo up his ass. So—for safety— we got him a shower chair, too."
VIDEO EVIDENCE
"I was 'in the mood,' and brought out the tissues and lotion to prepare myself. My then-girlfriend walked in the room and I went into damage-control mode. While she was skeptical, she believed I wasn’t up to anything—until she saw the webpage open on my laptop. She soon left, and I finished what I had started." JM
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Looking Through Different Visions
Angela Kim Sophomore, industrial design major “My concept for this piece is distortion. I wanted to show that everyone has a different vision and perspective; one might see something perfectly clear in color, while someone else may see it only in black and white. Ever since I was 5 five years old, art has been a part of my life. I had arts and crafts in elementary school, studio art in middle school, ceramics and studio art in high school, as well as outside classes in a private art studio. Art allows me to see the importance of everything in this world. Through art, I learned that every little detail counts. Art has also equipped me to think creatively and scrupulously about things around me.” Showcase your work in Framed. Email art@jerkmagazine.net.
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A CITY DIVIDED The city of Syracuse is at a crossroads when it comes to the future of I-81. By Sarah Schuster : Illustration by Jesse Handleman The first time I visited Syracuse, I thought my dad and I had gotten off at the wrong exit. Passing boarded buildings, empty parks, and almost no people, I didn’t understand how this could be home to the same university I toured virtually just a week before. But when we drove under Interstate-81 and saw the Hall of Languages peeking through, I finally relaxed. The highway acted as a curtain that, when pulled back, revealed my dreams of academia and campus life, blocking the realities of poverty and inequality that 18-year-old me didn’t want to face. But the stretch of I-81 that passes through Syracuse—known as the Viaduct— is dying, and the time to face this division is now. By 2017 the highway will reach the end of its useful life, and some important decisions need to be made about its future: Whether to rebuild it, tear it down, or turn it into something entirely different. I say tear the bitch down. Dubbed the “Berlin Wall” of Syracuse by Common Counsel President Van Robinson, I-81 was built as part of Eisenhower’s Federal Aid Highway Act of 1956. He intended to create jobs, connect the nation, 14 12.13
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and bring people into cities. But what Eisenhower and his crew didn’t realize was that while highways drive people in, they also drive them out. Easy accessibility provides little to no incentive to live downtown. Why shop in the city when there’s a mall a few exits away? It’s an eyesore, a barrier, and has turned Syracuse into merely an exit on the way to Dinosaur Bar-B-Que. Rest-stop loyalty doesn’t build thriving cities. "On one side, the east side, you have construction, education, health and professional buildings, and retail stores,” Robinson says. “On the other side, you see abandoned, boarded up buildings and poor living. That’s no way for a city to succeed.” Of course, tearing I-81 down won’t lead to a magical connection between the University and the city, and it won’t break down the socioeconomic, educational, and cultural barriers that still exist. But it would be a first step and a huge statement that we won’t allow a wall to divide our city. But beyond the Lennon inspired, pathosfueled rhetoric, I-81 is a safety hazard. According to the Syracuse Metropolitan
Transportation Center, the northbound section of the Viaduct has an accident rate three times more than New York state’s average. Engineers were forced to design the highway with tight curves, narrow lanes, and narrow shoulders due to the physical constraints of its urban location. They literally had to force it in, although at the time it was consensual. It doesn’t even meet the current federal standards. Somewhere a higher power is banging his head against a wall, wondering why anyone would even consider rebuilding a highway in a location that’s practically screaming, “No! Don’t!” Of all the alternatives discussed, rerouting the highway and replacing it with a boulevard is the best solution for the city of Syracuse. This was the same conclusion found by a task force called the “Rethinking I-81” Study Committee, after months of research and deliberation. Formed by the Onondaga Citizens League,
the committee found that “removing a freeway and replacing it with a surfacelevel boulevard does not necessarily increase congestion levels on city streets.” In other cities like San Francisco, Milwaukee, and Portland, highway removal has actually stimulated economic growth and neighborhood renewal. Money is clearly a setback in repairing the highway. While it would cost $500 million to fix I-81 up, the estimated cost of the alternative is $1.9 million. But thinking long term, this is a price worth paying for connecting, and potentially improving, a divided city. It will also open spots for new businesses—and new opportunities— downtown, instead of jumping on the Destiny USA bandwagon. With a boulevard, downtown will no longer be out of our sight, and hopefully it will also stop being out of our minds. We should be proud to call the whole city our home, not just what’s beyond the curtain. JM JERK
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Holier Than Thou? The media may be praising the Pope’s acknowledgment that the church should move back from fighting gay rights and birth control—but it’s only a small step in the right direction.
Pope Francis had a big reason to celebrate on Oct. 27. That Sunday marked a truly momentous occasion in the history of the Catholic Church, and the Holy Father reached out to his disciples worldwide to thank them—for helping him reach 10 million Twitter followers. This new Pope is a hit with Catholics, Protestants, and now, even some atheists and members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community. He’s been called a “rockstar” by Fox News, the Los Angeles Times, and a host of other publications. In fact, Esquire just dethroned Señor Dos Equis and crowned Pope Francis, née Jorge Mario Bergoglio, as “The Most Interesting Man in the World.” But the media might be leaping to conclusions by declaring him so modern and forward-thinking. Francis’s beliefs are not actually that revolutionary. It began with the holiest of holy declaring that same-sex marriage is so not a big deal. Okay, that’s paraphrasing. What Pope Francis actually said was: “If someone is gay
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and he searches for the Lord and has good will, who am I to judge?” But what the media heard was different. According to many news outlets at the time—including The Huffington Post, The New York Times, Fox News, and USA Today—Pope Francis was rolling out the rainbow carpet for same-sex marriage. That is, until his recent excommunication of a priest who openly supported gay marriage on the grounds of “heresy.” For those who weren’t raised in 17th century England, where this was a more frequent crime, the act of heresy is committed when an individual holds a belief that contradicts a Christian doctrine. Sorry, but we won’t be seeing the Popemobile in any pride parades in the near future. He then supposedly pardoned everyone on earth—even atheists! How radical; the leader of the Catholic Church granted everyone a pardon on stuffy suits and Sunday mass. But according to CatholicVote.org, a site likely more credible for interpreting Pope Francis’s doctrinal declarations than both The Huffington Post and Reuters, a bevy
PHOTO CREDIT: http://bit.ly/HLVQXM
By Maggie Quigley
of media outlets misunderstood the Holy Father’s statements. He never exactly said that atheists and god-haters have earned a “Get-Out-of-Hell-Free Pass.” Rather, his comments supported every teaching of Christianity ever: God sacrificed his son for the good of sinners everywhere. But a trip to the pearly gates of Heaven is only reserved for those who accept and believe that Jesus was truly their savior. For everyone else who’s spent their life on 4chan and Reddit instead of deconstructing the Holy Scripture, there’s a whole lot of nothing waiting for them after death. And then there’s the tweeting. Though Pope Francis isn't the new Bieber, he has more followers than Pope Benedict ever did. His social media presence has made him more accessible than previous popes, but journalist Mike Sager argued in an article for Esquire.com that Francis’s tech savvy nature doesn’t mean a thing. In fact, Sager posits the new Pope’s flashy persona and Internet following are totally superficial—not a real indication of any new change. Father Linus DeSanti, Chaplain of Syracuse University, personally couldn’t be happier with Pope Francis, a welcome change from Pope Benedict. “Benedict’s mindset was, ‘Well, there are people leaving the church. Let’s not chase after them,’” DeSanti says. “But Francis says, ‘No, everybody’s welcome. We all need to be forgiven, understood, and receive compassion.’” And Father Desanti thinks the Pope's Twitter usage is brilliant. “Writing a letter is passé. [Pope Francis’s use of Twitter] tells the world that he’s current.” The Catholic Church has been inaccessible for centuries. Alienating citizens and
churchgoers, intimidating members of the congregation into paying for their holy salvation, and—come on—do we really need to mention the altar boys? Simply stated, the Vatican had their work cut out for them. But by picking a pope with a friendlier face and better bedside manner, they’re working hard to repair their image. So Francis might not be a revolutionary; he might not be a rockstar. But he’s definitely an improvement, and that's fine—for now. JM
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pop ART Celebrities like Jay-Z collect art for status, not for culture.
By Naomi Pinkus : Illustration by Christina Mastrull
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only one of the many who have turned to art collecting since his or her accumulation of fame and fortune—Steve Martin, Madonna, and Brangelina also have name-heavy collections. Celebrities seem to buy art just to have a well-known name hanging on their wall. “They go to art fairs with their consultants and check off names from a little checklist,” says Lesley Heller, owner of Lesley Heller Workspace in Manhattan. “They don’t understand what they’re buying, and they don’t care about the process or why it was made. They just want to show that they got it and their friends didn’t.” For this breed of the rich and famous, art
PHOTO CREDIT: www.commons.wikipedia.org
“I just want a Picasso in my casa,” spits Jay-Z on Magna Carta Holy Grail's “Picasso Baby.” Instead of crooning about the shape and strategic layering of brush strokes or facial expressions full of emotion, he objectifies artistic masterpieces, name-dropping greats like Rothko, Koons, and Da Vinci line after line. Jay-Z cavalierly references fine artists like any other designer clothing brand or milliondollar sports car, in lieu of bragging about sex, money, fame, and drugs. With a net worth of approximately $500 million, it’s no surprise Beyoncé’s not-sobetter half owns works by Andy Warhol, JeanMichel Basquiat, and yes, Pablo Picasso. He’s
collecting is a sport, where the game means outbidding competitors to own the most famous works and appear the most cultured. The romantic vision of a paint-stained, acidtripping nut job in his studio has been replaced by someone who double-kisses Hollywood stars at A-list cocktail parties. Sadly, our covatable and eclectic artists have become no more than a brand. And while it may seem like these celebs are emptying their wallets over renowned pieces, it’s actually the opposite. They make money on every objet d’art they pick up. “A lot of them are looking at art like a stock investment,” Heller says. Eric Clapton, for
example, bought a smeared, abstract Gerard Richter oil painting for $3.2 million in 2001. But after the purchase, it was no longer just a Richter painting—it was a Richter painting owned by Eric Clapton. Eleven years later he sold it for $34 million, pocketing over three times the amount he origanally paid. If Jay-Z is our “modern day Pablo/ Picasso baby,” we can kiss the art world adieu. Alreadystruggling galleries focusing on emerging artists will buckle, and we may never get the chance to find the next Van Gogh celebs will undoubtedly clamor to obsess over. The creative world is slowly being morphed into a corporate one, thanks to patrons like Jay-Z JM JERK
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The D-List Websites like BuzzFeed are doing more harm than good, setting lower standards for “cool” with their lists.
By Erin Reimel : Illustration by Dylan Cownie Thanks to the Internet, we’ve forgotten how to grow up. In the twilight days of high school and college, the rules were clear: Get good grades, apply to a decent university, and stave off adulthood for an extra four years by reenacting Felicity episodes and making questionable life choices. But as soon as we hear the collegiate reprise of “Pomp and Circumstance,” we find ourselves back at square one, at a loss for how to start life and become A Real Person. It’s on this precipice overlooking the next phase of our lives that sites such as BuzzFeed and Thought Catalog capitalize on uncertainty. We’ve all been there—sitting in class, half paying attention to the professor, when “16 Things Every 20-Something Needs to Do Before Turning 30” pops up on Facebook. Just beneath it: “15 Things College Students Need to Do Before Graduating.” By the time we’ve finished reading, we walk out of class, emboldened and self-assured, with an itinerary of how to exist—from Point A to Point B. But in the end, we’re left with false confidence. Such lists shouldn’t define us, and they shouldn’t shape the paths we take. At an age when everything from our love lives to our careers hang up in the air, articles like “Your 20s Get Better In Time” and “Why Your 20s Are Terrible / Awesome” only add to the confusion and fear of growing up.
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We’re forced to look at different variations of “20 Lessons To Learn In Your 20s” and “19 Things To Stop Doing In Your 20s,” rather than taking the plunge ourselves and learning along the way. It’s time to say, “I’m my own person, and I don’t need someone else to tell me who the hell I am.” Young people have rejected authority since the 60s, thinking for themselves without others’ guidance. Millennials, then, shouldn’t need the Internet to hold their hands as they transition into adulthood. Not that lists don’t have a place in everyday reading. According to BuzzFeed founder Jonah Perretti, media companies play an important role in generating exclusive content as well as original reads. “It’s also about cute kittens in an entertaining cultural context,” he said in 2012. So while these sites play into public demand for something easy and palatable, anything having to do with one’s actual livelihood should be taken at as much entertainment value as a list about corgis or Benedict Cumberbatch. Growing up isn’t a formula—it’s an experience. If you want to reminisce about the 90s, try having a real conversation about how much you love Boy Meets World rather than reading about someone else’s nostalgia. And if you want to be a 20-something, then be a 20-something. Close your browser, shut your laptop, and live life on your own terms. JM
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Unsatis fried THE PROBLEM WITH HEALTHY FAST FO OD AND WHY WE WON'T EAT IT.
By Cassie-Lee Grimaldi In today’s kale-happy world, being health conscious is being hip. People obsessively guzzle green smoothies with chia seeds and record their caloric intake on their smart phones. In a country so saturated with saturated fat, this is a step in the right direction. But problems arise when fast food restaurants fool customers by marketing their food as healthy. As our health habits shift, companies find and exploit the public's willingness to pay for the new trends that fit their lifestyle. This October, Burger King premiered “Satisfries,” a French fry product marketed as a healthier alternative. They aren’t the first—fast food chains often release healthy items and menus, but they can be deceptive. Companies such as Burger King attract more sales by labeling menu items as “organic,” a “good alternative,” or “natural”—when they're not. Essentially, fast food comparies parade their same offerings around like wolves in sheeps' clothing. Essentially, fast food companies parade health food around like wolves in sheeps’ clothing. Yet, for all their efforts, Satisfries wasn’t
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very well received. Bloomberg Business Week said they had a “gravelly,” texture. To boot, they were rated 0.5 out of 10 in comparison to other popular chains. In addition to their health foods tasting like pavement, fast food chains often post wildly inaccurate nutritional information. The New York Times opinion documentary “Calorie Detective,” filmmaker Casey Neistat found that in reality, a sandwich labeled “healthy” has more than double the calories its nutritional information claims. Neistat also found that while the Affordable Care Act requires many food chains to post their calorie information, they are usually inaccurate. Companies need to take their regulations seriously, or their meager labeling efforts are completely invalidated. Those inaccurate labels can also falsely trick customers into thinking the food is better for them. In 2010, the University of Michigan conducted a study that showed people believed organic foods would be less caloriedense. Since then, similar studies have been done, but they all reach the same conclusion: If you tell the consumer it’s good for them, they’ll
believe it. In addition, other studies found when people are told something is healthy or allnatural, they justify eating more of it. It also doesn’t seem like people are after fast food for its alleged health benefits. In 2011, Griffith University’s School of Public Health conducted a study at McDonalds and Subway in Australia. At over 1,000 Australian franchises, researchers found that only 2.5 percent of customers were ordering the more nutritious options. Griffith University dietician and researcher Louise Atkinson wrote that, “the problem with traditional takeaways is that they are typically laden with more kilojoules (calories) and contain less vegetables.” Consumers don't expect to get a nutritionally sound meal from the likes of Burger King. Fast food companies need to be honest about their purposes: To satisfy our cravings for salt, coat our hung-over stomachs with grease, and provide us our guilty pleasures. And with the FDA slacking on enforcing honest and ethical behavior, people who want to eat healthy need to look beyond florescent drive-thru signs. JM
“In a society so saturated with fat, this is a step in the right direction.”
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In the struggle to end gender-based violence, men are joining in as part of the solution. By Laura Cohen : Illustrations by Hillary Cianciosi and Lise Sukhu The phone rings. Though it’s 1:30 a.m., Eric McGriff answers. He hears the panicked voice of a woman he became friends with the year before, as freshmen on the fourth floor of Flint Hall at Syracuse University. “Oh my god, Eric. These guys are following us home,” she says. McGriff thinks, Crap. He has no idea what he’s supposed to do. As someone pledging to be a new member of Acacia, he’s technically not supposed to leave the fraternity house on Ostrom Avenue. In his ear: “Eric, they’re getting closer. They’re getting closer.” That’s all he needs to hear—he jumps up, slides on his sneakers, and darts out the door. He’s a 6-foot-1 blur against the frigid campus—his red hair, freckled face, and unique features from a black father and white mother are indistinguishable as he runs. Past the frat houses on Comstock
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Avenue. Past the brick dorms on Waverly Avenue. Past Bird Library and into dimly lit Walnut Park. Panting and out of breath, he finds his two friends speed walking in their heels and dresses, with two guys following close behind. But as soon as he reaches their field of vision, the two men back off and head in the opposite direction. They’re relieved—the two women that McGriff made it, McGriff that he made it at all—but he can’t help think: This shouldn’t have happened. McGriff, a junior political philosophy and women’s and gender studies dual major, serves as the co-president of A Men’s Issue (AMI), a dialogue-based student group at SU that recognizes sexual assault and interpersonal violence as a male topic of concern. It aims to move the campus—and ultimately society—toward gender equality. His involvement started at the Everyday
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Heroes event in Hendricks Chapel, back in the summer of 2011, during orientation week of his freshman year. He remembers sitting still throughout the presentation, one of the few faces not lit by an iPhone screen scrolling through Facebook. As everyone else tapered off, he remained attentive, ears perked, listening to graduate student Paul Ang list off AMI’s goals. By the end, a sea of sweaty students pushed toward the exit, but McGriff—ever the responsible 9-minutes-older brother—pulled his identical twin Anthony toward the stage. “Hurry up, before he walks away,” he said. Within two minutes, they’d met up with Ang, and McGriff found himself at the next AMI meeting that Thursday. Anthony followed a few weeks later, and they’ve participated ever since. “I didn’t think I could find men like me who identify as feminist,” McGriff says. Since age 15, he’s worked at a violence prevention summer camp for inner-city children. He also had experience with Clean Slate Diaries events, which empower survivors of sexual assault and domestic violence. At the local non-profit Vera House, he assisted survivors of domestic and sexual abuse. “The advocacy work just took my heart,” he says. Rape, sexual assault, and domestic violence against women remain an epidemic in the United States. One in four women will be the victim of sexual assault or attempted sexual assault in their lifetime—and for women ages 16 to 24, that rate is higher, according to the U.S. Department of Justice. In most of these cases, the assailant is an acquaintance of the victim. And while men
A RECURRING ISSUE
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usually perpetuate these crimes, this doesn’t make all men the enemy. In fact, they’re key to the solution, says Michael Flood, a pro-feminist activist, sociologist, and professor at the University of Wollongong in Australia. Flood says there’s increasing male efforts to fight gendered oppression. “I think that it’s only by involving men and boys in this work that we really will make significant progress toward gender equality and toward ending men’s violence against women,” he says. SU’s extension of this men’s movement began 10 years ago, in 2003. One spring afternoon, students filled the ground level of Goldstein Auditorium in Schine Student Center for Don McPherson, an SU alum, college football Hall of Famer, and former professional football player—now a feminist and social activist. When discussing the prevalence of domestic violence, he read a letter written by an 8-year-old boy from Baltimore. The boy admitted to his dad coming home and beating his mother if dinner wasn’t on the table. At the end, the boy wrote that when he grows up, he doesn’t want to treat his family that way— but his wife will certainly have dinner ready on the table each night. McPherson ended the talk with a call for men to get involved in ending the cycle of sexual and domestic violence that remains persistent. Afterward, one lanky cross-country runner approached the former Philadelphia Eagles quarterback. Sophomore physics major Collin Capano, who attended the event for his Women in Our Community
class, asked, “Alright, so what should I do?” that give men a sense of entitlement to use McPherson suggested starting a men’s violence against women.” group, and directed him to Jill Sneider, the About 300 miles away, a similar effort sexual health coordinator of the Advocacy takes place at Brown University. Kevin Carty, Center. The center works to create a a junior majoring in political science, refers community of caring individuals who work to himself as a “feminist frat bro.” Most of to prevent violence and promote respect— his time outside of classes is dedicated to something Capano felt he sexual assault prevention, should join because he’d especially in Greek life. Carty always thought of first got interested in this type interpersonal violence as a of advocacy work when a friend women’s issue, since mainly of his former girlfriend was women are affected. But a violently raped, and afterward good reason to participate realized she had bruises—and came from not having a sexually transmitted personal experience and not disease—but didn’t remember knowing survivors of sexual anything. A few weeks later, he assault. “It’s exactly people saw a guy at a party pretend to like me who need to get drop something in a woman’s involved for things to drink, but the roofie joke didn't change,” he says. make Carty laugh. After he AMI started meeting the joined the Alpha Epsilon Pi following fall and became a —MICHAEL FLOOD fraternity at Brown, he noticed recognized student that the 45-minute sexual Pro-Feminist Activist organization that spring. But assault prevention lecture even after a decade on campus, the group still given to frat brothers during the pledge only attracts between eight and 12 men each process just didn't go deep enough. “That’s Thursday night in Sims Hall. “There really not actually a way to change people’s minds aren’t many men open to having conversations about sexual assault and sexual assault about masculinity,” says Ang, now a graduate prevention,” he says. assistant at the Advocacy Center and AMI With a friend’s help, Carty sought to mentor. But according to Flood, this is how it revamp the training so it was more of a starts—with dialogue and rethinking. discussion, starting with a dialogue on “We have to shift the masculine cultures masculinity and the values society that breed a tolerance for men’s violence encourages men to adopt that influence against women,” Flood says. “We have to them to be sexist, homophobic, and facilitate shift the social norms of gender inequalities sexual violence. They modeled and
"WE HAVE TO SHIFT THE SOCIAL NORMS OF GENDER INEQUALITIES THAT GIVE MEN A SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT TO USE VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN.”
DARTMOUTH COLLEGE
SWARTHMORE COLLEGE
OCCIDENTAL COLLEGE
A group of students and recent alumni claimed the school violated sexual assault sanctioning laws such as Title IX, which prohibits gender discrimination, and the Clery Act, which requires schools to disclose information about crime on and near campuses.
School administration ignored junior Mia Ferguson’s requests to investigate her sexual assault last year, so she took her case to the federal government, and saw results. The school now enforces stricter and more aggressive investigations.
Earlier this year, 37 students and alumni filed a federal civil rights complaint against Occidental College, stating that the school discouraged victims from reporting sexual assaults. They also said the school misled students about their rights after their attacks.
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implemented a new system based on the Bringing in the Bystander program from the University of New Hampshire. The Greek community at Brown now encourages members of fraternity and sorority houses to get trained so they, in turn, can be the ones to facilitate the program to their brothers or sisters. Carty finds this training more effective, enabling students to tailor it to their own community. Men can be allies in the cause, and treating them as such proves more effective, according to the national Mentors
EMERSON COLLEGE When a fellow student sexually assaulted sophomore Sarah Tedesco, school officials told her she shouldn’t make a big deal of it. It took them three months to start the investigation, which then found the assailant not responsible.
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in Violence Prevention (MVP) program. MVP aims to end gendered violence with empowered bystanders. Young men do not get labeled as potential perpetrators, but as those who can confront abusive peers and support abused ones. Jeffrey O’Brien, national director of MVP, says more men have been looking for opportunities to do something over the years. He thinks we were socialized to believe men had no place in this field. “Thankfully, now, young men are getting involved,” he says. The program formed in 1993 at Northeastern University, but today, dozens of other schools implement it. At SU, the program trains students to facilitate conversations with their peers about what each of us can do to prevent sexual, relationship, and other forms of interpersonal violence. All members of AMI go through this training, and McGriff has even become a trainer within it. But O’Brien says there’s still a lot to do—not a week goes by that he doesn’t hear shocking or tragic news that proves abuse of women still happens on a wide scale. According to AMI's other co-president, Chris Gucciardo, the organization primarily serves as a safe space for discussion about men’s learned behaviors and beliefs that perpetuate violence. But the group also holds programs and events to get their message out to the community. Last fall, McPherson found himself back in Goldstein Auditorium, this time for AMI’s Be a Man Panel. For an audience of 108 people—students, faculty, and community
members, including the local children McGriff mentors—the panel discussed men’s role in violence prevention work. Alongside McPherson sat AMI alumni, including Sacchi Pattel and Marc Peters. Pattel founded MasculinityU, which aims to “teach men and boys to make conscious and intentional decisions rather than just going along with the messages that they received,” according to its website. Peters now works as the global communications director and campaigns manager for MenEngage, an alliance of organizations that “seek to include men and boys in effective ways to reduce gender inequalities and promote the health and well-being of women, men, and children,” according to its website. McGriff—the only student representative on the panel—made a comment beforehand about how he struggles with his privilege as a man. During the panel, McPherson told him, “Your privilege is something you’ve got to always think about, and you’ve got to respect the hell out of it.” This stuck with McGriff ever since. To him, it meant that he should acknowledge how he is treated differently as a man, but not take advantage of it. He says he doesn’t expect to be the head of a household some day, or have the ability to make decisions over a woman. This privilege ironically comes into play in his violence prevention work. He is offered opportunities to speak and often gets awarded for his work—and sometimes he feels it’s because he is a man fighting for women’s rights. He stresses over and over
UNIVERSITY OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA
UNIVERSITY OF NORTH CAROLINACHAPEL HILL
Campus police told USC student Tucker Reed that no rape occurred in her case because her alleged assailant did not orgasm. Because of that, they wouldn't refer the case to the Los Angeles Police Department.
UNC student Landen Gambill faced expulsion for speaking out about her rape in March. The school claimed she created an "intimidating" and "hostile" environment for her rapist by doing so, even though she never named him publicly.
that there are more qualified people—like women and members of the LGBT community—in this line of work who don’t get the same recognition. “I have to always, always, always be thinking about that so I don’t overstep my privilege,” McGriff says. This type of advocacy work isn’t only met with praise, though. It can be met with resistance—especially on a college campus, where these problems and abuse continually play out. Koy Adams, one of McGriff’s AMI brothers and a sophomore women’s and gender studies major, gets mocked for his dedication. “I’ve been asked, ‘How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?’” he says. “They say, ‘None, because a feminist can’t change anything.’” One afternoon last spring, Adams walked to Ernie Davis dining hall to grab lunch. “Pussy,” he heard a group of male students yell out. He told them that was sexist, and explained why calling a man a derogatory word referring to a woman as an insult is wrong—but then they just called him a pussy. Adams says he actually knew one of the men in the group. He knew Adams’ values and would agree with him on the issues, but only between the two of them. “It showed the problem,” Adams says. “The issues are blatantly obvious in the middle of broad daylight.” The encounter served as a reminder to continue efforts to reach out to men and advocate for better behavior. With this in mind, he continues on his way to get lunch, the back of his royal blue AMI shirt reading: Redefining masculinity and making a difference to end sexual and relationship violence, one man at a time. JM
UNIVERSITY OF CONNECTICUT Four women filed a lawsuit against UConn, including graduate and rape survivor Kylie Angell. A campus police officer told her, “Women need to stop spreading their legs like peanut butter or rape is going to keep on happening 'til the cows come home.”
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One for the Money
Since 2001, Syracuse University’s Panasci Business Plan Competition has helped more than 25 young entrepreneurs kickstart their ideas.
By Megan French Behind a shimmery seafoam green curtain lies an office stocked with ribbons, glitter, and glue guns—out of place amidst the dozens of technology start-ups at the Tech Garden, located at 235 Harrison St. in downtown Syracuse. “Sorry that there’s craft vomit everywhere,” Camille Malkiewicz says. The 24-year-old sits down at the table and delicately unwraps the pink ribbon on a little brown box labeled “Craftistas.” Inside is the November kit for a dip-dyed ombré scarf. Shelves in the corner hold prototypes for potential kits: a rhinestone black clutch, a fringed necklace, and a pompom-covered lampshade. Malkiewicz came up with the idea for Craftistas, a subscription-based fashion craft kit service, after seeing her aunt’s brick-andmortar craft store fail because women didn’t have the time to shop for supplies. The idea became a reality and a full-time job after she took second place in Syracuse University’s Panasci Business Plan Competition in 2012. She used her $10,000 in winnings for start-up legal fees and product development to send crafts to her 50 subscribers. “If it wasn’t for Panasci, I wouldn’t be a business,” she says. Each year, SU’s Falcone Center for Entrepreneurship hosts the competition, a campus-wide opportunity for students to win up to $25,000 each—with awards totaling $52,500—to finance and grow new business ventures. The late Henry Panasci, an entrepreneur who co-founded drugstore chain
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Fay’s Drugs, helped start the competition 12 years ago. And since then, Funk ‘n Waffles and Fiesta Frog are just two on-campus fixtures Panasci helped launch. The competition culminates each April, but interested participants start preparing business plans and attending weekly meetings in January. The Panasci Competition factored greatly in SU’s ranking among the nation’s top entrepreneurship programs. Princeton Review rated SU fourth in entrepreneurship for 2013, and Under30CEO, a prominent website for young entrepreneurs, named Syracuse one of the top 30 cities in the country for young entrepreneurs. “There is a cultural shift at hand here that is valuing the importance of entrepreneurship and job creation and sustainability,” says Chris Fowler, CEO of SyracuseFirst, a nonprofit dedicated to supporting local businesses. “SU is quickly becoming a national leader in promoting and encouraging entrepreneurship.” The Falcone Center floods with registration forms every January as teams must submit their business concepts. The amount of students proposing ideas to Panasci spiked, mirroring the nation-wide entrepreneurship trend of the past few years, with the number of startups increasing 36 percent last year, according to a GEM study. Panasci consists of four rounds, beginning with teams in the first round and dwindling down at each phase. If the judges think the team has a viable initial idea, they advance to the “Business Plan”
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SMUT phase. The teams then have two months to turn the idea into a business plan, a 20 to 35 page document detailing everything from business expansion strategies to marketing to long-term finances. After reviewing the plans, judges select 15 teams for the final “Presentation” phase. The judges base their scores on the originality of the idea and the quality of the plan, including the target market, economics of the business, and the management team.
“IF IT WASN’T FOR PANASCI, I WOULDN’T BE A BUSINESS.” —CAMILLE MALKIEWICZ Craftistas Founder
David Panasci, son of Henry A. Panasci, has judged the competition for several years. “I watched my grandfather and father open Fay’s Drugs in the 1950s and pursue their love for business and the opportunity to be a dreamer in America,” he says. “It’s exciting to see the passion in all these students and everything they put into it because from what I’ve seen in my experiences, people with a passion are the most likely to be successful.” For Kyle McShane, the 2012 first place winner, that passion was party planning. This spurred him to create a Facebook page called Syracuse House Parties. “I just caused an earthquake in Syracuse by bumping my dubstep too hard,” McShane wrote in an October 2011 status update. “Beach Party. 714 Euclid. 10 pm. That’s all I gotta say.” With more than 5,000 page likes, McShane and his friends decided to create a party notification website called Fiesta Frog and enter their 32 12.13
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business plan into the competition. “Our website is about partying and going to the bar, so with it being a serious competition, it was pretty shocking,” McShane says about taking home first place. The money from Panasci allowed Fiesta Frog to hire a full-time web developer, pay for the costs of hosting the website, sponsor events at bars and clubs, and expand to other cities, particularly New York City and Boston. And Fiesta Frog isn’t the only success story. Dream Water, a zero-calorie all-natural sleep supplement that placed first in 2008, is now sold throughout the U.S. in places such as Target, Walmart, CVS, and Walgreens. “It was all a dream,” says founder Vince Porpiglia about grabbing the $25,000 check and being able to support himself as an entrepreneur. After Panasci, he went on to film the pilot episode of ABC reality television show Shark Tank to make a deal for additional funding for his company. Although the episode never aired, it showed Porpiglia shaking hands with an investor and closing a deal. When the deal fell through in post-show negotiations, Porpiglia says the Panasci winnings alone kept his business alive. While the money can be enticing, it’s just one of the factors that makes the competition attractive for students, says Terry Brown, director of the Falcone Center for Entrepreneurship. Besides cash awards for first, second, and third place businesses, they also award special prizes for innovation in technology, sustainability, and global initiatives. “[Panasci] gets a lot of attention from people in the entrepreneurship community that will judge the competition and whether they win or not, the critique and help they get in developing their business is valuable,” Brown says. James Barrett, third place winner in 2012, found his mentor through Panasci by attending the optional Business Plan Laboratory class. This one-credit course meets once a week and helps students with each section of the business plan. Barrett says the class ensured that his business, James Barrett
Clothing Co., stayed organized and allowed him to get extra help on the weaker areas of his plan. His company produces and sells silk-screened T-shirts and “Peace Pinnies,” lacrosse pinnies with an original peace sign logo. With the skills and support he garnered in the class, Barrett decided to independently pursue a partnership with J. Michael Shoes, and now he has sold more than 600 “Peace Pinnies” at that location alone. While Barrett placed in the top three his first year competing, many of the entrants compete year after year until they land on a winning idea. Adam Gold, owner of popular restaurant Funk ‘n Waffles entered Panasci two years in a row. First submitting a business plan in 2006, Gold left with Honorable Mention—and without a cash prize—upset that he had given up his junior year spring break to write the lengthy document. “The judges came up to us after and said, ‘It’s a good idea, but you aren’t going to gross enough money. Whoever can actually make $10 million in 5 years is the winner.’” After hearing these comments, Gold modified his business plan for the 2007 competition to include frozen waffles sold in grocery stores, and left with a third place finish—and $5,000. Although Gold made it to the finals both years, the judges were tough on his team, especially because they weren’t all business majors. One judge said they were unaware of the numbers. “He asked me a question, and
my answer was $10,000 off. He pointed it out, and it was really horrifying.” Gold says. “We didn't do well because of the numbers, we did well because the idea was so clever.” Ryan Dickerson says his secret to success was having a physical product to share with the judges. Dickerson placed two consecutive years, coming in third place in 2010 and then second in 2011 for his company Rylaxing, which produces pillows that can turn a dorm room bed into a couch. “When I was competing in Panasci, it really helped that I had a tangible product that the judges and everyone I talked to could hold, play with, touch, and feel,” Dickerson says. “It was everything I said it would be.” Like Dicerkson, Panasci served as the jumping off point for Malkiewicz and her craft subscription business, Craftistas—giving her the foundation to expand. In the years since placing second in Panasci and moving into the Tech Garden, Malkiewicz relocated Craftistas to business accelerator The Ark Challenge, located in northwest Arkansas. She just eliminated the original subscription element of her business, instead focusing on an online widget that allows at-home crafters to immediately purchase supplies used by their favorite crafting bloggers. Partnering with bloggers like Liz Fourez of Love Grows Wild, her widget appears at the end of sponsored blog posts—bringing her brand of easy crafting to the masses. JM JERK
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DOWN AND DIRTY The SU Women’s Rugby team works hard and plays harder.
By Alexa Voss : Photos by Sarah Kislow Since 1997, the Syracuse Women’s Rugby Team has been a rough and tumble family, kicking ass and taking names. They travel around New York and its neighboring states, facing opponents from local schools such as the University at Buffalo, to D1 team like UConn and Dartmouth. Games usually take place every Saturday around 1 p.m. from August to October. Team president senior Margaret Bender says games can get pretty rough. “We come away with really big bruises. We get concussions a lot. It’s just part of the sport,” Bender says. “We also get a lot of sprained ankles and sprained knees. Shoulders pop out and we put them back in—no one really stops. You just keep going for the fun of it.” Despite the bumps and bruises, the girls play through their injuries and practice for two hours most days, focusing on whatever areas
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need improvement, and brushing up on their offensive and defensive plays. “It’s like football: For different situations, you do different things, but we all know each other’s plays,” Bender says. The team’s game against the University at Buffalo every year raises money for the Susan G. Komen Foundation, which supports the search for a breast cancer cure. They make shirts, design baskets, offer up items from local businesses, and hold a big raffle during the game. Bender says this game has the largest turnout every season. The girls huddle together before they step out onto the field, circling up to discuss what plays to use. In orange and blue striped jerseys, the team races down the pitch, bowling their rivals over in a fierce attempt to carry the ball over the opposing goal line. They duke it out for the win. JM
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1. SUWRFC and SUNY Geneseo teams lock in a scrum—locked together, pushing each other back and forth, fighting for the ball after it is dropped in the middle of the teams. 2. A SUNY Geneseo player tries to tackle team president Margaret Bender. Tackling is a way to force a change in ball possession. 3. Jessie Coyle ices her injured foot and rests it on mud covered teammate, Lindsay Trammell, during the post-game talk. 4. SUWRFC celebrates their victory over SUNY Geneseo on Saturday, Oct. 19, 2013. The score was 12-10.
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MEN ABOUT TOWN
When it comes to getting dressed, not much can come between a man and his clothes. We put personal style to the test and let our models teach a lesson in layering.
BY: Joelle Hyman and Julie Kosin PHOTOGRAPHER: Ilana Goldmeier PRODUCTION ASSISTANT: Kiera Henderson MODELS: Juan Carmona, Christian Eatman, Miles Ray, Carter Sims
MILES: Jacket, Shirt, Pants: Model’s Own, Boots: Timberland $155. JUAN: Flannel: The Ragged Priest $60, Shirt: All Saints $70, Pants and shoes: Model’s Own. CARTER: Hat: Model's Own, Jacket: Vintage Barbour, Pants: Staple $66, Shoes: Converse $65.
CHRISTIAN (left): Hat: T by Alexander Wang $68, Jacket: Stylist’s Own, Shirt: Model’s Own. CARTER (right): Hat: Marc Jacobs $50. JUAN: JACKET: LL Bean, $229, Sweatshirt: American Apparel $48, Flannel: Model’s Own.
BLACK PANTS (left) KATHRYN: T-shirt: Vintage; Pants: Model’s own. ALEX: Sweater: Zara, $120, T-shirt: Saturdays Surf $40; Pants: J.Crew, $118; Sneakers: Nike, $120. CREWNECK SWEATSHIRTS (right) JASON: Jacket: Model’s own; Sweatshirt: Gap $40; Sneakers: Superga from J.Michael $64. KATHRYN: Sweatshirt: Alternative Apparel $38. ALEX: Sweatshirt: American Apparel $40; Flannel: Stylist’s Own; Sneakers: Superga, $110.
CHRISTIAN: Jacket: Obey $124.
MILES: T-shirt: Vintage, Shirt: Wrangler from Modern Pop Culture. CARTER: Jacket: Billionaire Boys Club $230, Sweatshirt: Model's Own. JUAN: T-shirt: Neil Diamond tour shirt from Modern Pop Culture $16, Flannel: Gap, $49.95
GAWK CLOSET CASE
FOREIGN AFFAIR Landing on a distant shore makes for a trove of shopping destinations to explore. Follow these globe-trotters to assimilate in style. Photos by Ilana Goldmeier
STRIPPED
EYE CANDY
Once the ugly stepchild of a person’s face, glasses now rest proudly on the bridge of society’s nose.
By Joelle Hyman and Julie Kosin : Illustration by Hillary Cianciosi
“I took a gap year and spent six months in Malawi, Africa, where we started an orphanage—most of the kids only had the clothes on their backs. On Sundays we went to an open market in the downtown area that had piles of clothes laid out. I was with six kids and we were sifting through everything when I found this top.”
“This is from a store in the Old City of Jerusalem in the Muslim Quarter. This guy had beautiful stuff so I started talking to him in Arabic, and he thought that was funny. He brought me to a hobbit door in the back of the store. It led to another room with all of these one-of-a-kind pieces. I saw this ring and thought it was really beautiful.”
“I lived in Paris this past summer and my friend and I found a random vintage shop. In the back of the store was a guy surrounded by really weird T-shirts. He was like, ‘I make them myself. They are fabulous.’ I had a hard time choosing between this one and another with the kid from Home Alone that said ‘DRUGS’ on the bottom.”
–Rachel Mohler
–Emma Goldbas
–Hannah Koennecke
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Urkel, Finster, Minkus, McLovin—in pop culture, glasses represent the universal caricature of the nerd. They signify nasally voices, noses buried in textbooks, and relentless onslaughts of peer-inflicted derision. But what used to be an unpleasant remedy for poor genetics or long hours sitting in front of a television screen has become a fashion statement that relays one’s identity as much as it relieves blindness. Oversized glasses hit their sartorial stride thanks to J.Crew president and creative director Jenna Lyons, who tops off her signature style with a pair of thick tortoiseshell frames. Through her influence, J.Crew’s brand identity promotes statements glasses for the stylish woman—making it clear that seeing 20/20 isn’t reserved exclusively for lecture halls and getting behind the wheel. In fact, thick, black frames reminiscent of Buddy Holly and Allen Ginsberg are reprising their role as an indicator of the predictably alternative lifestyle that starts with aspirations of writing the next Great American Novel and ends with chain smoking and listening to The Smiths on vinyl. While a select few choose this style as compensation for a wide face or glaring facial deformity, most rely on the bold and brash design—think your classic Ray-Ban Wayfarers, but with clear lenses— to express self-deprecating creativity and
dreams of a shitty Brooklyn apartment. And as long as irony is on trend, it would be remiss to avoid a shout-out to the original men behind the frames: Dads. Those donutsized, wire-set lenses your old man wore in the 70s are now a staple amongst the students who occupy the boundaries of our campus. Those oft-ignored Westcott inhabitants, dedicated to anti-conformity and Alto Cinco burritos, have hooked dad culture by the Fair Isle sweater and turned wire frames into a symbol of constant disapproval and general apathy. Blame Rainn Wilson for this one and approach with caution. The one person we’re quick to ignore is the “part-timer” who doesn’t bear the burden of wiping lenses clean while walking through the rain. Likely sporting a fresh blow-out with a designer label mounted to the side of her frames-of-choice, this girl wears her specs as a subtle tribute to Laguna Beach castaway Lauren Conrad, who makes glasses look, “like, really cute without being super nerdy and weird, you know?” But with the technology surge likely to follow the introduction of Google Glass to the masses, fake eyeballs will probably be replacing those beloved lenses in the near future. Until then, wear your heart on your Warby Parker frames and defend your love of Zooey Deschanel while knitting a sweater for your cat. JM JERK
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NOISE
NOISE
change
continuity Hip-hop's newest movement accepts the changing LGBTQ faces of the genre.
By Reina Shinohoura : Illustrations by Christina Mastrull It started with lyrics like Eazy-E’s “Nobody Move.” He raps “This is one faggot that I had to hurt,” on his 1988 album Eazy-Duz-It. Homophobic slurs have peppered the verses of hip-hop for almost as long as MC Hammer has spit rhymes. But these days, queer artists are increasingly finding a voice in the hip-hop community and using it to fight against longingrained prejudices. Over the past two years, acts such as Azealia Banks and Frank Ocean have strengthened hip-hop’s queer voice, pushing it towards a mainstream audience. In the 2012 article “Hip Hop’s Queer Pioneers,” Details
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profiles several artists—including House of Ladosha, Nicky Da B and Big Dipper—as the “changing face—and sound—of rap.” Other reputable publications such as SPIN, The Guardian, and TIME also reported on this topic, suggesting that societal acceptance of queer culture—particularly within the hiphop community—is on the rise. Syracuse University alumnus Kevin Hegedus, a member of hip-hop band Mouth’s Cradle who also produces mixtapes under the name YOUNG CRYBABY, attributes this new exposure to social media culture and the fan’s ability to curate every music moment. “I can
very easily listen to a playlist I made of Le1f, Big Freedia, V-NA$TY, and Mykki Blanco, all while scrolling through Teen Witch’s Tumblr in one tab and watching Swiss vogue battles in the other tab,” he says. “The increasing coverage of hip-hop has everything to do with the diverse, exceptional output of many talented, brave queer musicians.” Hegedus himself could be considered one of these musicians: The 23-year-old rapper’s compilation FAGGOT MC signaled his official entrance into hip-hop as a gay rapper. But he’s adamant that queer hip-hop is nothing new. “Hip-hop has always been queer, and
it’s about time the world saw hip-hop’s true face,” he says. From the New Orleans bounce scene to the vogue ballrooms of 1980s New York, where queer youth of color held dance battles, gay and transgender rappers have always had a voice, despite the ruling straight and cisgender—a gender identity where a person’s self-perception of his or her own gender matches the sex they were born with—majority in the hip-hop community. Traditionally, hip-hop is associated with money, expensive cars, and loose women. Popular blogs such as World Star Hip-Hop only perpetuate the perceived dominance of JERK
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NOISE
NOISE straight men in hip-hop society. This façade represents a community that practices intolerance towards homosexuality or anything remotely queer. But while the industry has a reputation for homophobia, it isn’t by nature homophobic—artists such as Hegedus wouldn’t find such solace and community in its message otherwise. It seems the only way for queer and hip-hop culture to fully integrate into the mainstream is for high-profile artists to acknowledge it’s okay to be gay. “I really wished someone like Le1f, a hardworking, inventive, gay New York rapper would be the one to break into the charts and deliver that message,” says Hegedus. “But to be perfectly honest, it may be the role of the ally to knock those doors down first.” When Frank Ocean, a noted member of the hip-hop collective Odd Future, came out, the artist garnered support from a number of major players. Jay-Z, A$AP Rocky, and Snoop Lion began speaking out against homophobia in the community. Lil B started
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encouraging his mostly straight male fan base to accept queer people as equals. These popular artists worked together to banish the toxic stereotypes. Hegedus experienced the growing support first-hand when he attended Lil B’s performance in Syracuse. “At one point he said to the crowd—I'm paraphrasing here—‘I love gay guys...the more gay guys there are, the more women there are for me!’” Hegedus says. “I watched every young straight dude's eyes light up as a cheer rang out in the crowd. Lil B's tactic may have been a little base, but this guy made an entire auditorium of straight people cheer for gay people. I never felt so welcome at a rap concert.” More recently, Mister Cee, the former hiphop DJ on New York’s hip-hop and R&B radio station Hot 97, made news when audio clips of him soliciting sexual acts from a transsexual prostitute came to light. He went on the record with an interview that was part confession, part condemnation of homophobia in hip-
hop. This interview was more than a weepy admission of the existence of homosexuality and homophobia in hip-hop culture—It opened up a highly public conversation about sexuality and hip-hop. But as the worry over hip-hop shutting out gay rappers decreases, rising concern suggests that queer artists will have to compete against one another because of their sexual or gender identity. In a 2012 Pitchfork piece, Cakes Da Killa sums it up: “We’re all cunty, we’re all gay, and we’re all really out. I really don’t want to come out and have it be like, ‘Oh he’s trying to be like Dosha or like Le1F.’” And just because a rapper identifies as queer doesn’t mean that his or her rap is exclusively queer rap. In a FADER article from last summer, Le1F said, “My goal is always to make songs that a gay dude or a straight dude can listen to and just think, ‘This dude has swag.’ I get guys the way straight rappers get girls. I’m not preachy. The best thing a song can be called is good.” Recent SU grad Jay Foss, who is at the forefront of the Syracuse hip-hop scene, also finds queer hip-hop universal. “Personally, I don't think being gay in the hip-hop community has anything to do with anything, similar to being vegetarian in the hip-hop community,” he says. “If you can rap, you can rap. That's it.” This anti-label perspective moves beyond the music industry. Ryan Ford, Vice President of marketing agency Cashmere, told Forbes, “We have moved into an era where we are no longer defined by our ‘demographics’ anymore. ’Black or white,’ ‘urban or suburban,’ ‘gay or straight,’ etc. That one thing no longer defines us.” As our society moves toward acceptance of variations that defy the established norm, sexual orientation and gender identity are becoming less important. Hip-hop shouldn’t take the blame for its homophobia—it is merely a reflection of societal problems and the human beings
“I REALLY WISHED SOMEONE LIKE LE1F, A HARDWORKING, INVENTIVE, GAY NEW YORK RAPPER WOULD BE THE ONE TO BREAK INTO THE CHARTS AND DELIVER THAT MESSAGE, BUT TO BE PERFECTLY HONEST, IT MAY BE THE ROLE OF THE ALLY TO KNOCK THOSE DOORS DOWN FIRST.” —KEVIN HEGEDUS Rapper YOUNG CRYBABY
who cause them. Homophobia exists across all genres, and there are always going to be people who are opposed to socially unconventional sexual identities. “If you have a problem with the gay community intermingling with the hip hop community, you're probably not too good at rapping, or any of the elements of hip hop for that matter,” Foss says. “Respect the craft and recognize those who respect the craft.” Victories against the dominant heterosexual norm in hip-hop are victories for social justice. “Hip-hop runs youth culture, and any trend toward the fracturing of a hetero-, cisgender-, or male-dominated society that can be achieved in hip-hop will cause a change in youth attitude that could better society,” says Hegedus, proving that there’s more to the genre than glorified violence, ugliness, and extreme displays of sexuality. JM
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Kiddie Stuff TELL ME NO
Lies
And we'll tell you our secrets. We all have them, we all do it, might as well celebrate our deepest, darkest, most unmentionable thoughts.
After watching Parent Trap, you were probably naive enough to think Lindsay Lohan actually had a twin, but your childhood obliviousness has got nothing on your peers.
“I thought Mcdonald’s hamburgers were made out of dog. They’re grey and it's weird. It's suspicious.” —JULIA DORIN “My mom said that when the ice cream truck was playing music it meant it was all out of ice cream.” — JOLENE SPIVACK “I didn't think girls pooped until like 8th grade” —WILL O'BRIEN “In the movie Matilda when Miss Trunchable says that she put her blood, sweat, and tears into the chocolate cake she forces the kid to eat, I thought she literally meant it. I didn't know it was an expression so it grossed me the fuck out.” —LEE SHEARIN
From secrets dirty enough to make a frat bro blush to stories that could curl even Draco Malfoy’s greasy hair, we all try our best to hide pieces of ourselves from the public eye. But with the Festival of Unmentionable Thoughts on December 12, we get an opportunity to air all that dirty laundry. Whether you have a bust of your crush made from his or her used bubble gum (we’re all looking at you, Helga), or you just don’t want people to find out what you really did last summer (all day HGTV marathons), the truth inevitably finds a way out.
And intentional or not, our slip-ups can have varying consequences, from minor embarrassment to full-on PTSD symptoms. But take solace in knowing you’re not alone. Here at Jerk, we take it upon ourselves to explore all your unmentionables, from texts never meant to see the light of day to the secrets our staff has been keeping; everything is fair game. Just remember, if Adam and Eve can get through their historically embarrassing situation— and really, what’s worse than being caught naked in public—you can, too.
“I thought that Mrs. Buttersworth was real so I would sit at the breakfast table talking to a bottle of syrup.” —CAMERON BOARDMAN “My parents told me I was conceived in Australia, so I automatically assumed I was an Australian, and went around telling everyone I was an Aussie. I thought the word conceived meant born.” —ALEC ELLIN “When I was really young, whenever I was mean to my mom she said she would call the abused mother hotline— and then I would apologize.” —ALEX SATER “My mom told me that everyone at age seven had to change their names. I started crying. I didn't want the name Lucy.” —DEENA ZEELENS “In health class, I presented an article about Taco Bell selling contraceptives called the ‘Morning After’ Burrito. I didn't know The Onion was a satirical newspaper.” —JOSH FISHER
OUR STAFF TELLS ALL: WHEN CUSTOMERS ARE REALLY RUDE TO ME AT WORK, I GIVE THEM CHANGE IN NICKELS AND SAY IT’S ALL I HAVE IN THE REGISTER. —ERIN G. KELLY, FACT CHECKER IN HIGH SCHOOL, I RAN A CHEAT ENGINE ON NEOPETS GAMES EVERY DAY ON SEVEN DIFFERENT ACCOUNTS WITH MY FRIEND, AND WE MADE AROUND 1.4 MILLION NEOPOINTS A DAY. —ALLEN CHIU, STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER
SOMETIMES WHEN I’M COOKING I LIKE TO PRETEND I’M HOSTING A COOKING SHOW, INCLUDING NARRATING COMMENTS FROM THE AUDIENCE. AND YES, EACH AUDIENCE MEMBER GETS A DIFFERENT VOICE. —RIDDLEY GEMPERLEIN-SCHIRM, FEATURES EDITOR I HAVE AN ENTIRE PRE-GAME PLAYLIST OF AVRIL LAVIGNE. —CASSIE-LEE GRIMALDI, MULTIMEDIA EDITOR
Emotionometer
Push My Buttons
Sometimes we let our emotions get the best of us, and sometimes we just don’t how to respond at all. Here’s our gauge on emotional responses.
THE ANGRY TEXT If I get to the end of this line at Chipotle and there’s no guac, I’m going to slit everyone’s throat with a salty tortilla chip.
100- Getting turned on while watching a Steve Buscemi movie.
THE HORNY TEXT I’m easy. I’ll bang anything that’s cute and asks nicely.
75- Mourning when your favorite candidate loses the SA election.
THE DRUNK TEXT Just ate a hamburger bun I found in a bush, feeling sexy n free
67- Laughing at the end of Marley & Me. 54- Sobbing when someone spills a drink on you at a frat party.
The Story of Last Night History
32- Crying because you failed your WRT 105 class. 15- Falling asleep in the middle of your drunken hook-up. 0- Ordering a personal pizza on a weeknight.
I LIKE TO RANDOMLY INCORPORATE LIES INTO MY CONVERSATIONS WITH MY FRIENDS JUST TO SEE IF THEY’LL BELIEVE ME. THEN AN HOUR OR DAY LATER BRING IT UP AGAIN AND TELL THEM IT WAS A LIE. —MICHELLE VAN DALEN, RESEARCH EDITOR I SOMETIMES PRACTICE MY FUTURE OSCAR ACCEPTANCE SPEECH IN THE SHOWER. —DANIEL TAROY, EXECUTIVE EDITOR
Clear Browsing Data
1:17 AM 1:15 AM 1:05 AM 1:00 AM 12:57 AM 12:57 AM 12:55 AM 12:54 AM 12:50 AM 12:48 AM 12:45 AM
mail.google.com - Compose new: Mom www.wikihow.com/Stop-a-Masturbation-Addiction www.pornhub.com/saved_favorites www.buzzfeed.com/500-babies-cuddling-with-puppies MizzHarryStyles.tumblr.com/tagged/cats Google search - ‘happy shit’ www.webmd.com/symptoms/west-nile-virus Google search - ‘whats wrong with me if i cry always’ www.facebook.com/Your.Crush.That.Sits.Behind.You.In.Class www.facebook.com/Your.Ex’s.Rebound www.facebook.com/Your.Ex
I STILL WALK DOWN THE BARBIE AISLE EVERY TIME I GO TO TARGET. IF I SEE ANYONE COME DOWN THE AISLE, I PRETEND I’M ON THE PHONE TALKING TO MY MOM ABOUT WHAT BARBIES MY YOUNGER SISTER WOULD WANT. I DON’T HAVE A YOUNGER SISTER. —MADDIE KELLY, DESIGN DIRECTOR
Whether done in a drunken haze or in a careless text message slip-up, sometimes our shameful secrets manage to slip out. Once revealing a deep, dark shame, things can get real awkward real fast. But don’t worry—you’re not completely screwed. Jerk helps you bounce back in five easy steps. Step 1: Deny. Quickly attempt to trace back to where you went wrong and how you can manipulate the situation. You can try switching words around: What? No, I didn’t say I’m a hardcore fan of Japanese anime. I said I love banana bread. Other times, you can find some technology-related to answer: Oh, no. I didn’t slam my laptop shut because you walked in as I was watching old episodes of the The OC. It was just an ad that happened to include all the original cast members. Or when you start up your car and the soundtrack from A Very Potter Musical starts playing: Oh, my crazy roommate must have left this in. Right.
Step 5: Move on. Even though you may now feel more guilty about your guilty pleasure, don’t dwell on it. We all have them, even Jerk staff members have their fair share of unmentionable thoughts. Read theirs below, and take comfort in not being the only crazy one—in fact, some were so trippy we didn’t feel right exposing them. One staff member may or may not look up burlesque-style dance routines online, try to master them in front of the mirror, and then records them on Photobooth. You’ll just have to hack us all to find out who.
I WILL ONLY EAT WHEAT THINS IF THE SALTY SIDE TOUCHES MY TONGUE. IT’S NOT WORTH IT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. —CORI ROSEN, ASSISTANT ARTS AND MUSIC EDITOR I WROTE DEGRASSI FAN FICTION IN JUNIOR HIGH.—JULIE KOSIN, ASSISTANT STYLE EDITOR
Peeing on every building on campus
Spending the day in your bathrobe
Eating 5 mini cupcakes for breakfast
Knowing all the lyrics to T-Swift's songs
Writing your own songs Being attracted to someone who reminds you of your family
Being attracted to Walt Jr. Lying to your parents
Wearing last night's clothes to class
Step 3: Distract. So what if you’re a guy who likes to pee sitting down and now everyone knows it. There are far worse secrets out there. This may be a dick move —no pun intended— but an easy way to get past this is to brush the shame on to someone else. If you have a friend who records and posts Keek videos to a private account, it’s time to grab the popcorn and watch them all. Step 4: Embrace. Just because now everyone knows what you do doesn’t mean you need to stop—in fact, there’s no point in hiding it. Next time you feel the urge to pick your toe jam in the company of friends, go right ahead. They know you do it anyway—just don’t litter that shit on the carpet.
SHARE IT
Lying to your friends
WTF
Step 2: Convince. If the audience doesn’t buy your denial, come clean and try to convince everyone that what you do is normal. There’s a good chance other people constantly pretend they’re being interviewed on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon and think up the witty banter they would have with Jimmy.
Guilt Grid
WHATEVER
Recovery Plan
Owning Nickelback's entire discography
Twerking in the bathroom mirror
Having sex in your roommate's bed
Watching shitty reality TV
Shoplifting candy from CVS
Pooping: We all do it
Misspelling THEIR/ THEY'RE/THERE SHUT IT
I RECORD MOVIE REVIEW VLOGS, BUT NEVER UPLOAD THEM. —RYAN HARPER, FRESHMAN INTERN I LOVE CLEANING DUST FROM FAN BLADES. IT REALLY EXCITES ME WHEN I LOOK AT MY FAN AND SEE A BIG DUST COLLECTION ON THE EDGES AND I GET TO CLEAN IT OFF. —LEIGH MILLER, ASSISTANT OPINIONS EDITOR
REWIND
WE HELP CRITIQUE POP CULTURE SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO.
ALTRUIST
LENA DUNHAM By Daniel Taroy
THE DEAL This was a gangbusters year for Lena Dunham. Girls—in which she stars, directs, writes, and serves as creator and showrunner—earned her the Golden Globe for Best Television series—Musical or Comedy, and a second Primetime Emmy Award nomination for acting. She’s written several essays for the New Yorker, but not before taking a cue from Tina Fey, signing a flush multi-million dollar book deal with Random House. And, in news that stormed the fashion blogosphere, Anna Wintour supposedly sought Dunham as Vogue's next cover girl, just ahead of Girls’ January return date.
MICHAEL JACKSON By Roxy Silver
WE JUDGE
ALBUMS
BY THEIR
SINGLES
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world. The members of The Jackson 5 didn’t bow their heads and conform to fit into the industry—they stuck to flaunting their token bell-bottoms and Afros on stage. After all, “it don’t matter if you’re black or white.” And pop still rings with Jackson’s influence—Justin Bieber gives MJ a shout out as he rocks three Band-Aids on his fingers. He also bought himself a monkey, Mally, drawing a direct parallel to MJ’s chimp, Bubbles. Rihanna often flaunts a solid crotch-grab à la Jackson, while Justin Timberlake’s falsetto is reminiscent of Jackson’s high register. And, dressed in a swanky red suit, Bruno Mars, dubbed the new MJ, channels the King in the highly choreographed, Jackson-esque music video for “Treasure." Barring resurrection, Jackson's stories have come to an end. But listeners don’t consume reputations or accusations—they consume music, and Jackson was one of the greatest entertainers of our time. JM
Artist
Album
Single
Tourist
Patterns (Dec. 3)
"Together"
Gloom Baloon
You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Disaster (Dec. 3)
"She Was The One That Got Away"
Xiu Xiu
Nina EP (Dec. 3)
" Don’t Smoke In Bed (Nina Simone Cover)"
Rating (out of 5) 4 2.5 5
THE ISSUE
PHOTO CREDIT: wallpaperist.com
The 44th anniversary of the release of The Jackson 5’s first album, Diana Ross Presents the Jackson 5, is Dec. 18. From Jackson’s direct accolades to his legendary accomplishments, his influence on musicians is undeniable, but MJ’s music competes with his outlandish antics. Putting aside the hype and hysteria surrounding Jackson’s infamy, it’s easy to see why he’s the King of Pop. Before Jackson slid on his signature white glove, pop music was polarized—there was no crossover between rock and pop stars. Jackson shook up the scene, combining the flare of pop with the edge of rock. His collaborations with Paul McCartney on “The Girl Is Mine” and with Eddie Van Halen on karaoke smash “Beat It,” married these two distinct genres together. Jackson also broke racial barriers as his star neared the stratosphere. Prior to Jackson and his four siblings, it was unprecedented for black men to reach an esteemed level of mainstream success in the entertainment
As such, Dunham has experienced firsthand the unyielding, oftentimes ruthless scrutiny reserved for those with a high degree of media attention. On- and off-line criticisms have become adage by now: She’s the well-connected daughter of two quasifamous artists. She’s a glaring exception to the Hollywood standard of rail-thin and fashionable. If Howard Stern isn’t calling her “a little fat chick,” then the Internet is slamming her for being too young to say anything valuable and running a show decidedly lacking in persons of color. And she’s naked—a lot.
THE (LARGER) ISSUE Not that any of this would matter if she were a man. Gawker's John Cook derided Dunham and her upcoming essay collection, titled
Not That Kind of Girl: A Young Woman Tells You What She’s Learned, writing: “Lena Dunham became eligible to vote in 2004, so you should listen to her.” Women have their moment of Hollywood pageant glory until they’re replaced by someone newer and younger. So when Dunham—who possesses the agency and wherewithal to actually contribute to the system, rather than just succumb to it—hits the top, her voice and opinion often fall by the wayside, drawing attention to her age, pedigree, and appearance instead.
THE DEFENSE The criticisms being thrown Dunham’s way, however, scapegoat her for pre-existing issues beyond her control. That her (self-chosen) nudity in a field that already over-sexualizes women somehow seems grotesque speaks more to our own selective prudishness for anything “different.” That she came from a place of privilege and used it to leverage her career is the symptom of a greater problem of nepotism within the industry. And demanding racial diversity from an Oberlin grad with an upper-middle class background leads to forced results, as seen with her casting of Donald Glover as a love interest in the second season. Instead, we should laud Dunham’s position as one of the few female show runners in a maledriven game. That Girls, a show for women and by a woman, draws attention at all should be reason for celebration. It’s Lena Dunham’s world—let her live in it. JM JERK
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AMPLIFIED
PERFECT PUSSY
DRINK TO THAT
December 5 rings in the 80th anniversary of the end of prohibition in America. On this day, the 21st Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified, repealing the 18th Amendment and bringing on much-deprived champagne showers at Gatsby's place. You thought your hangover after Chuck's was bad, but just imagine being unable to drink—period. Celebrate
By Sam Sodomsky : Photo by Allen Chiu
Best song: A yet-to-be-released track titled “Advance Upon the Real,” which Graves describes as the “most visceral and gnarly” song she’s ever written. Weirdest gig: One uncharacteristically lifeless concert at the Flywheel in Western Massachusets marked a turning point for the band. Their disappointment in their performance resulted in a tighter familial bond. “If one of us isn’t having fun, none of us 60 12.13 • JERK
are having fun,” Graves says. “If the day comes that we stop having fun as a band and stop being happy, I’m out. I’ll go cut flowers for a living.” Life philosophy: “Be yourself uncompromisingly, don’t lie, and live in such a way that you never have to second-guess or regret your choices," Graves says. Where you can listen: You can hear the band’s demo, I Have Lost All Desire For Feeling, at prrfectpussy.bandcamp.com. Why you should listen: While ideal for blasting in your car on a long drive, Graves says, “Don’t listen to my band. Start your own. There’s literally no other answer.” JM
PHOTO CREDIT: (DRINK TO THAT), blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com, (FILM), http://www.fubiz.net, (MUSIC), http://www.stereogum.com/1163251. (TELEVISION), http://www.ironhorsebiker.com/full-throttle-saloon-a-guilty-pleasure, (BOOK), http://www.filmforum.org/movies/preview/the_lost_weekend
your freedom to blackout with these shots of entertainment.
Where they're from: Syracuse, N.Y. • Members: Meredith Graves—vocals; Greg Ambler—bass; Ray McAndrew—guitar; Garrett Koloski—drums; Shaun Sutkus— keyboards • Active Since: 2012 • Sounds like: Psychedelic indie rock, hippy Afrobeat,
What they Jerk to: Kathy Acker, Jenny Holzer, and Joan Didion. Graves, who has a background studying critical theory, takes interest in “strong guttural writers who cut into their own organs for the sake of exposing what’s inside them.”
SYNAPSE SYNAPSE
FILM: The Wolf of Wall Street From award-winning filmmaker Martin Scorsese comes the upcoming drama The Wolf of Wall Street in theaters Dec. 25. The movie chronicles the life of Jordan Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio), from his peak as a wealthy, lavish Wall Street stock broker to his fall involving crime and corruption. DiCaprio parties on a yacht, in his office, and by a pool—he even chucks a mimosa into the bushes outside his house. Your budget might not allow you to throw away alcohol without thought, so put it to good use instead.
TELEVISION: Full Throttle Saloon Pour yourself a glass of whiskey while tuning into Full Throttle Saloon. Don't expect the Kardashians or Ice and Coco on this reality show. The series brings its audience down to the Black Hills of Sturgis, S.D. to take a peek inside of the world's largest biker bar. The acclaimed biker hang-out includes a burnout pit, a tattoo parlor, zip-lines, and even a wrestling ring—in other words, it puts Daisy Dukes to shame. Full Throttle Saloon airs on Tru TV Dec. 2.
MUSIC: Broke with Expensive Taste Azealia Banks is notoriously known for shaking things up. Whether it be on Twitter, or with her lyrical content, she always keeps it real. Banks is also known for bringing the party to her music, and her upcoming—and insanely delayed— release, Broke with Expensive Taste, due January 2014, does just that. Her new album will have every one of you raising your cups, whether you’re at a party or alone in your room on a Friday night. Get your buzz on.
BOOK: Farther and Wilder Farther and Wilder: The Lost Weekends and Literary Dreams of Charles Jackson by Black Bailey digs deep into the troubled life of Charles Jackson, the late author of novel The Lost Weekend. Jackson spent a fair portion of his life clinging to a bottle of liquor. In fact, his novel The Lost Weekend is a chronicle of a five-day drinking binge of his. So on Dec. 3, pick up the book, measure yourself a tumbler of rye, and celebrate the life of Jackson.
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DISCOVERSYR
BEERBELLYDeli & Pub
With a gastropub-inspired menu, local favorite Beer Belly Deli makes food that’s all alcohol, all the time.
By Julie Kosin : Photos by Sarah Kinslow Tucked between a Christian ministry center and conveyor-belt sushi shop on the 500 block of Westcott Street, Beer Belly Deli and its unassuming storefront might escape the notice of casual passersby. Inside, strings of multicolored twinkle lights hang from the ceiling and paintings by local artists adorn the exposed brick walls. Here, co-owners Brandon Roe and Lauren Monforte serve booze-infused eats to the East Campus community. “It gives you so much more freedom—with the food, with the beer or wine list, with the décor,” Roe says of the Westcott location. “You aren’t stuck with a clientele that wants to drink Coors Light and eat a plain cheeseburger.” Instead, Roe takes standard bar food—think burgers, club sandwiches, and fries—and incorporates various alcoholic bbeverages.
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From beer-battered cheese curds and PBR cheese waffle fries to IPA-injected burgers and red wine brownies, BBD offers an experimental menu that pushes pub fare beyond their simple roots. “When you get some of those microbrews, the flavors they have inside of them are so crazy, but it’s one ingredient. And unless you know what’s in it, you can’t describe it,” Roe says. “It adds a lushness to the food,” Monforte agrees. BBD’s extensive vegetarian selection also defies bar stereotypes. For any restaurant appealing to the Westcott community, meatless options must appear on the menu. This need produced one of the deli’s most untraditional offerings: Eggplant wings— sliced eggplant breaded in Rice Krispies, fried, and drenched in homemade buffalo blue
cheese sauce. “We didn’t want to put vegetarian things on there just for the sake of them being vegetarian,” Roe says. “We wanted to make sure anybody would eat it and be like, ‘Oh my god, this is good.’ Not good for being vegetarian, just good in general.” A Syracuse favorite, the salt potato, also gets the BBD treatment with a menu of rotating toppings. “It’s probably one of the better restaurants to get vegetarian food in town,” says Roe. “When we started, it was quite possibly the worst.” Though it’s only been open a year, Syracuse’s first authentic gastropublives up to its reputation as a Westcott favorite. With one eye on local taste and the other on largescale culinary innovation, BBD is the only place in town where you can have a drink and eat it, too. JM
Where: 510 Westcott St., Syracuse, NY When: Monday -Sunday: 11 am – 2 am Best Sellers: Fried Eggplant Sandwich, $8; Horsey Beef burger, $12; Bacon Cheddar Waffle Fries, $7
Jerk Picks: Eggplant Wings, $8; Creamy Tomato Soup, $5; Sweet Potato Tots & Maple-Garlic Aioli, $4; Avocado Ranch Turkey sandwich, $11 Happy hour: 4:30 to 6:30 every day, $5 for a 16-ounce beer and plate of waffle fries or sweet potato tots.
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OBITCHUARY
SPEAKEASY
The Great Philosopher
Paper Maps CAUSE OF DEATH: GPS
Professor Laurence Thomas’ Philosophy 191 class, Ethics and Contemporary Issues, has students falling to the floor— literally. We grabbed a seat to find out more about the only man on campus who can overstuff a 400-person classroom.
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By Hannah Melton + Illustration by Adrian Hatch
By Riddley Gemperlein-Schirm I understand you’re fluent in French. Where exactly did you grow up? Both countries: France and the United States. I was born here. I always go back and forth. What’s your secret to spotting a student using a cell phone? I’m very observant. I understand most students think the professor won’t notice— not in a class that size. It may look like I’m being silly, but in the middle of all that, I’m really paying attention to the entire class.
What’s up with the lack of PowerPoints? People zone out very quickly with technology. Sometimes if I’m in a good mood, I run up the aisle. Why do you think I’m so skinny? By the time I start teaching at 12:30 p.m. I’ve already
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You play a lot of music in class. If you could pick a "Laurence Thomas" theme song, what would that be? It would be “I Believe I Can Fly” by R. Kelly. If you don’t believe in yourself, you’re not making it. What’s something people would be surprised to know about you? I don’t like people. I’m a loner. I don’t hate people, but I enjoy spending time alone. I’m not the social creature who has to be around a crowd. I’ve never even been to a game at the Dome. It ain’t happening. That’s way too many people. Do you ever worry about whether students find your class entertaining? I have an important saying: “Moses didn’t make everybody happy, Jesus didn't, and Muhammad didn’t.” So I figure if I don’t make everybody happy, I’m in good company. JM
PHOTO CREDIT: blog.syracuse.com
But why do you hate them? People underestimate distractions. There’s that expression, “There’s a time and a place for everything.” I don’t see why we don’t say, “Look, I’m in class between this time and then. Don’t text me then.” Or we can do something really complicated and turn the phone off.
had three meals. I weigh—don’t mess with me—157 pounds. I am 6 foot. And the minute class is over, I eat again.
After fighting illness since the 2002 invention of the well-known in-car navigator, TomTom, Paper Maps has passed on. With ancestors dating back 8,000 years to the times of cave drawings, through the age of exploration, to the 20th century American road-trip companion, Paper Maps served us accurately— directing us toward our always-important final destination. But Paper Maps could not compete against the ease technology provided. MapQuest was the first culprit, and it took a heavy toll on Paper Maps. Users simply typed in a starting and ending point: Stepby-step instructions appeared ready to print at your convenience, including fun left and right arrow icons, and even exact distances down to the foot. People no longer had to rely on their innate sense of direction to figure out where they were going when MapQuest did it for them. Paper Maps stayed strong, and still proved useful for by-foot activities, such as touring down the Champs-Élysées or navigating the best way to walk from Oxford Circus to Buckingham Palace. Paper Maps served as a comfort, always stuck in your purse or coat pocket, so if you wandered a little too far, you were never truly lost. But in this same way, he suffered from the illness of tourist
stigma. Nothing screamed annoying— and—embarrassing foreigner louder than pulling out a bulky folded up piece of paper. And let’s face it—if you don’t know where you’re going, you clearly don't belong. GPS devices like TomTom, Garmin, and Siri struck Paper Maps like the plague. They didn’t even require the effort of printing directions, taking paper out of the equation entirely. They also came ripe with voice-over navigators that many people name out of sheer attachment issues. Paper Maps could not compete with this new kind of personalized attention. In 2010, GPS services found their way onto smartphones, where people could go anywhere by simply tapping an app and typing in their destination. Even following a wrong turn, drivers are never more than a route recalculation away from getting back to their correct path. Now, Paper Maps is only found plastered on the bedroom walls of college students attempting to be worldly, or crumpled unused in the trunks of cars. May he rest in peace. JM Editor’s note: Those who attended Paper Maps’ funeral rudely used their GPS apps to get there. For shame.
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FORM&FUNCTION FORM&FUNCTION
How To Dress Like a Newhouse Student
Résumés: What do you mean you've never had an internship?
Macbook Pro: "We should connect on LinkedIn."
Herschel backpack: Visual branding is important.
Food.com chair: Where did everyone sit before 2007?
Jacket: The winds between NH1 and NH2 are brutal.
Chukka boots: Confident shoes for the falsely confident man.
PHOTOGRAPHER: Ilana Goldmeier STYLIST: Joelle Hyman MODEL: PJ Alampi
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