jessi wilson degree project
The book you hold in your hands charts the progress of a self-directed project from initial question, through development, to final presentation. It focuses on designing a system for users in long distance relationships to encourage conversation about healthy relationship models while affirming each partner as an individual. This work was produced under the guidance of Marty Maxwell Lane in Spring 2013 as part of the Graphic Design curriculum at the Kansas City Art Institute.
how can social media help provide reassurance and external support to an individual in a long distance relationship?
the
question
research
week one: facts & statistics
~3%
u.s. marriages considered to be long distance
1 in 10
3.5 million
long distance marriages in the united states
4.5 million
marriages experience distance in the first 3 years
unmarried relationships maintained in college
almost 40%
125 mi
surveyed university students with LDR experience
once a month
average visits in both 2005 survey & my research
average distance between partners surveyed in 2005
615 mi
average distance between partners I surveyed in 2012
The primary source cited by LDR statistics is the research of Dr. Gregory Guldner, the head of the Center for the Stuwce Relationships. This research comes from 2005. As we can easily see how well communication technology has improved in the past eight years, we can very reasonably assume that these numbers are more favorable today than they were when first counted! Keeping that in mind, these numbers are still informative, if perhaps a little shy. Around 2.9% of marriages in the United States are considered long distance, with another 1 in 10 marriages that experienced a distance within their first three years. This means that 3.5 million people were married at a distance in 2005, which says nothing of the 4.5 million college students who maintain non-marital distanced relationships. I want to have an estimate as to how many military LDRs there are, but so far I’ve not been able to find one. The likelihood of a long distance breakup has been found not to differ considerably from geographically close couples, once variables like age had been accounted for, although if a long distance relationship is likely to fail, it usually happens within the first four to five months. Dr. Guldner found that 70% of couples who didn’t establish a game-plan for managing changes and expectations broke up within six months.
A survey of 200 couples found that the average couple was 125 miles apart, visited 1.5 times a month, called once every two days and talked for 30 minutes, and sent 3 letters a month. The average couple expects to wait 14 months before they can close the distance. Another study surveyed 450 Southeastern University students. 20% of them were currently in LDRs, while another 17% had been in an LDR. 11% of LDR respondents saw their partners weekly, while 16% never got to see them during school. Over 50% of LDR students emailed daily and spoke on the phone several times a week. It’s a very commonly held and often repeated belief that long distance relationships don’t work, and aren’t sustainable or worth the trouble. I think these numbers help to provide the background of how common LDRs are, and how those involved manage. The quickest of googles can reveal hundreds of websites, apps, and services that offer ways for couples to connect with each other and share.
I think these numbers help to provide the background of how common LDRs are, and how those involved manage. What these numbers can’t address, though, and what the apps often don’t get into, is how people spend the time they can’t spend on their webcam, and how that “gameplan” (or relationship model) that makes successful LDRs work gets formulated. It’s not something we’re explicitly taught how to negotiate, but can be learned through our own experiences and the shared experiences of others in similar circumstances.
redefining a romantic valentine’s day through distance. & little riot’s design for “pillow talk” connects distant lovers’ heartbeats through sound and light from their pillows.
“i want to design a platform for connecting people who are in, about to start, or ending their long distance relationships with others who have had that experience or are going through it at the same time. it is my hope that such a system would help people get the support they need to feel strong and knowledgable in how they establish and maintain their ldr, and can be there for people when they feel like they need “backup,” allowing for people to connect and soothe over situations, fears, and insecurities, and celebrate success with a group who understands what it means.” —wednesday, january 30
in
nterviews
ainsley & karl 22 & 22
Ainsley and Karl met at a college freshman orientation. She writes: We met at Hendrix College at freshman orientation in 2009. We were 18 at the time and fresh out of high school. I ended up leaving Hendrix after a semester and a half. That was our first experience being long distance; I was in Tulsa, Oklahoma and he at Hendrix in Conway, Arkansas, a 4 hour drive away. We got to see each other a lot though. That spring, I went to Mexico with a volunteer program for 5 weeks. We talked on the phone 3-4 times/week and emailed most days (I had to go to a cybercafe though, we didn’t have Internet at “home”). After that, he moved to Tulsa with me and we had a year together (bliss!). Then he enlisted in the Army. In May of 2011, Karl left for Basic Training. It was 4 months of just letter-writing. I got a phonecall about 3 times/month (4 if I was lucky). I wrote him on average 5-8 pages/day. I worked part-time (15 hours/week) and did full-time summer school (9 credit hours) to pass the time and keep myself busy/distracted.
He graduated Basic in September 2011. We got 2 weeks together before he had to report to his duty station in Fort Campbell, KY. It was in that 2 weeks that we got engaged. By then it was my junior year at the University of Tulsa. I was in Tulsa and he at Fort Campbell (about 11 hours away). We talked on the phone every day, Skyped about once a week, and sent texts throughout the day.
It was in that 2 weeks that we got engaged. Summer 2012 we got to live together (I moved in with him at Fort Campbell, KY) and got a volunteer job. August 2012 I moved back to Tulsa and in September he deployed to Afghanistan. For the first part of deployment, we didn’t get to talk nearly as much as we do now. I was lucky to get a phone call once a week and we sent messages with updates (email-style) but less often got to “chat.” We Skyped twice in the first 3 months because of the shitty Internet connection. The second half of deployment has been better. He moved to a bigger base with better Internet and more free time. We “chat”
almost every day and Skype at least about twice a week. He also just got a feature through Skype where he can make unlimited phone calls through his computer. The telephones are nearly impossible to access (which meant that for the first 3 weeks he was there I didn’t once hear his voice), so the call feature has really made up for that. It is January 2013 at the time of writing this, which means he’s been there for 4 1/2 months and will be back in late May or early June. So there are about 4 to 4 1/2 months left for a total of 9 months. I will graduate in May (yay!), he’ll get back, and I’ll move back to Fort Campbell with him. He’s only doing a 4 year enlistment so this should be his only deployment. Which means that our years of long-distance are coming to a close. With the exception of training schools through the Army, but some of those are “day camps” (my word for they-get-to-come-homeat-night) and the ones that are out of town are usually no more than 3-4 weeks. Therapeutic things for me to help stay connected are writing letters (physical letters, ink and pen), Skyping so I can see his face, phone calls so I can hear his voice, listening to music that reminds me of him/ us/ memories, daydreaming about future plans, planning future trips, seeing movies or reading books at the same time and discussing them, goodnight and goodmorning phonecalls, and staying busy and goal-oriented.
ldr Q&A
Emily & Esten, ages 22 & 25
Katelyn & Joey, ages 21 & 25
Alex & Jeff, ages 22 & 23
Rikki & Brian, ages 24 & 25
Jake & Elyse, ages 19 & 22
Ben & Phoebe, aged 18 & 19
Emily&&Kaitlyn, Josh Esten, ages 22 23 & & 25 22
Katelyn KC & Arielle, & Joey,ages ages32 21&&24 25
“how did your relationship start? when did it become long distance?�
elyse
katelyn
Jake & I met about 11 years ago & started dating October 26th 2008. When I left for college that was sort of long distance but I still came home a lot so it wasn’t “bad.” THEN in 2011 when Jake decided to go into the military things got crazy. We got married on June 8th, 2011 & then exactly one month later he went away for 2 months to Basic Military Training.
We met through a mutual friend one night when I first moved to Fayetteville. It became long distance after Joey got a job in Tulsa last spring, I had to stay to finish school in Arkansas.
arielle Well, my ex KC and I were both living in Austin, TX and he graduated grad school. He is an trans/queer artist and decided to move to New York two weeks before we met. We started to be long distance 4 or 5 months in. At first I didn’t think we would do long distance. But we fell in love, blah blah blah. We broke up about 3 months ago.
alex We went to high school together and began dating March of our senior year. We went to college in different states, Jeff stayed in our home state and I went to Florida- we maintained this distance for 3 years.
josh We knew each other in high school, kept in touch and recently became interested in each other. Our families live in edmond, she goes to school at OSU, I live in norman, so we see each other on the weekends when we visit family.
ben
emily
We went on dates and prom starting around March 2009, became official at the beginning of summer, and she left for college at the end of the summer (I stayed behind for my last year of high school)
Oh man. So Esten and I met for the first time when we were both in high school in the Tulsa area and on the high school section of the Tulsa World together. We became Facebook friends at the time, and had some random casual interactions. I don’t think we ever saw each other in person again for several years. During Esten’s senior year of undergrad (2010), he posted he was coming to Tulsa for thanksgiving break, so I commented that he should come to a show I was promoting. He apparently drove straight from Mizzou to the show, and we got to talk after the show for a while. So I thought he was pretty awesome and Facebook messaged him to tell him thanks for showing up, etc, ended up talking to him more and more. We hung out one more time over thanksgiving and then he went back to Mizzou until Christmas. We officially had our first date Dec 22.
rikki We originally met in high school. He was a senior and I was a sophomore. Not to sound cliché, but it was love at first sight for me. But then he started college, and I still had a couple years left of high school. I went to college, never really had a boyfriend, but had loads of crushes. Yet I never forget about Brian Adame. Then in June of 2011 I randomly got a post on my facebook wall. The next night he called me, and we talked for over two hours. But at the end of the conversation, he told me how much he had liked me in high school, and asked if I wanted to go to a concert. I said yes.
“how far apart are you?” “do you get to visit in person? how often do you visit?”
elyse
katelyn
In college I came home almost every weekend so that was ok. We get to see each other everyday now. Although he goes on small deployments every now & then which is still weird. It’s a little nice to get to spend time apart because it makes you realize just how much you love & miss that person.
Fayetteville to Tulsa—3 hours, so not awful. About once a month one of us will either go to Tulsa or Fayetteville to visit.
arielle I live in Austin TX, he lives in New York. We got to see each other about every other month.
ben She was in St. Louis, I was in Tulsa, roughly 6 hours driving apart. We actually got to hang out briefly about once a month for the fall semester, a little less the next spring, we were both in Tulsa for summer 2010, then I moved to Cleveland for college. We saw each other once in fall 2010, then broke up at Thanksgiving
rikki About an hour. We would see each other once or twice a month. I didn’t have a car at the time, so I would get rides from friends to Topeka. And his car was older, plus with his work schedule and the baby, it was hard for him to come up to Kansas City a lot.
alex About 1,000 miles. We visited each other about 1x/ month or 1x / 2 months - mostly I traveled home but after the first year Jeff began coming to Florida once per semester
josh At least once a week.
emily 1700 miles currently. Has it changed over time? Yes, just gotten further and further! Haha. Originally it was 350 miles when Esten was in undergrad, then a little over 1000 miles when he was in grad school, now 1700 and hopefully his last big move in a while! Thank god. We see each other at least once per calendar month, although sometimes it ends up being longer or shorter between visits. It’ll be 6 weeks between our last visit and our next one, this time. I almost always go to visit him because I get discounted airfare.
“in what ways do you get contact? how often?”
elyse
katelyn
In college we texted constantly, skyped every night & talked on the phone in between classes. We were very clingy & cute ;) In basic we got to write letters & speak for about 15 minutes on the phone on Sunday afternoons but that was never enough. Every time the phone call ended I’d just cry because I knew I had to wait another week to hear his voice. So I’d just sit down & write yet another letter (I love that now because I have great scrapbooking material haha)
We text every day and most nights get in a quick conversation on the phone.
arielle We talked all the time we texted constantly, used the phone and skype. We were in contact most of the time, skyping once or twice a week.
ben highly frequent calls and texts, with occasional skype
rikki We would talk on the phone every night, and usually send messages and songs to each other on facebook on a regular basis.
alex Phone calls, Skype, and hand written letters are how we communicated. We called or txt each other every morning when we woke up and every night before going to bed.
josh we text all the time.
emily We videochat on google chat and FaceTime when our schedules line up, usually in the evening. We text and gchat and Facebook chat throughout the day, and call each other whenever we both have a free minute. I also made a tumblr for him, where I post stuff I think he would be interested in or things that remind me of him. He finally made a tumblr for me too, so that’s fun. We rarely email.
“do you have any plans to ‘close the distance’ in the future? when?”
elyse
katelyn
It’s closed for now unless he deploys.
Yes, after I graduate (this fall) I will move back to Tulsa until my graduate program starts the following fall. When I have to move to start school, ideally Joey will move with me.
arielle We never had a plan to close the distance in the future. We just loved each other and wanted to be together.
ben We shared a no-expectation outlook on the relationship; we never made plans to change our directions to be physically closer. But I did apply to colleges in St. Louis that I would normally overlook because she was there.
rikki After about nine months of dating, Brian moved to Kansas City. We were going to wait a year, but he had lost his job and his apartment. So the timing seemed right. We lived in my apartment with my roommates until July, then got our own place.
alex I moved back to Oklahoma in summer of 2011 and we attended the same college until Jeff ’s graduation in May 2012.
josh yes? idk lol
emily Not really. I’m applying for a few summer internships in his area to stay there for the summer, but it isn’t permanent.
“what would you tell someone about to enter a situation like yours?�
elyse
katelyn
Oh gosh. The military life is definitely a hard one. Jake & I have spoken many times about how if we had known it was going to be “this” hard would we still have done it. We really can’t say because the military gives a lot of benefits but also puts you through the hardest times in your life. I’m not saying I’m “strong” because there are still many nights when I just break down & cry but I’d say in order to live happily in “this life” you really have to rely on your faith that your relationship is strong & can make it through anything.
To only do it if you can see yourself marrying this person, otherwise don’t waste your time “being good” and not going out when your in college tokeep your boyfriend happy.
arielle If you’re going to do long distance make sure that both you and your partner have your shit together and are good communicators. Working out problems in a long distance relationship is difficult and good communication is key. Also always make sure everyone is on the same page as far as if you are both seeing other people.
alex I had hesitations about it and really feel like because of our personalities and life styles we could handle it. On the other hand I don’t think either of us planned on maintaining a long distance relationship- we just did it because we cared for each other deeply.
josh go for it dawg the sex is bomb
ben
emily
Think carefully about your expectations.. In college, people go to parties and make lots of friends of both genders (usually), and sometimes you WILL feel uncomfortable. And the missing part really sucks. Consider whether you will still gain/ grow/be positive influences on each other, and whether you can let go of your own insecurities and fully trust the person.
Your life is about to revolve around planning and good communication, but if you put in the effort it will pay off.
rikki It’s not easy. There are going to be times you are going to feel lonely. But you have to be up front about what you want from the relationship, and you both have to be on the same page. If one of you wants to keep it causal, but the other is hoping it will turn into sometime more serious, it isn’t going to work. You need to talk about if your are going to be monogamous or poly, and what that means. You have to be realistic about what that person is actually like and what the fantasy of them in your head is. And finally, you absolutely have to trust each other 100%.
ideation
week two: asking & mapping, setting the pace
WEEK 2
wednesday: (blog) separate and analyze interviews. smaller big questions.
WEEK 3
monday: [what/where/who/why/how presentations] wednesday: (blog) develop personas, needs, scenarios.
WEEK 4
monday: hone personas, needs, scenarios. wednesday: (blog) identity/brand development exploration.
WEEK 5
monday: [small group critiques] identity/brand development. loose wireframes for scenarios. wednesday: (blog) identity/brand solid. low content wireframes. site map.
WEEK 6
monday: [small group critiques] low content wireframes. site map. visual exploration. wednesday: (blog) high content wireframes. visual exploration.
WEEK 7
monday: [midterm presentations with design comps] wednesday: (blog) begin application of visuals.
WEEK 8
the break of spring. go on design trip to austin. become rejuvenated & inspired. design some screens.
WEEK 9
monday: the ardent designing of screens. wednesday: (blog) having continued the ardent designing of screens. notions of video style.
WEEK 10
monday: all screens delightful. script & storyboard. wednesday: (blog) finalize script & storyboard. start animating screens, recording voice, filming.
WEEK 11
monday: animation/video production. wednesday: (blog) animation/video production.
WEEK 12
monday: [draft presentation] video production with a vengeance. wednesday: (blog) video production like the wind.
WEEK 13
final presentations.
This week, I’ve worked on honing the questions I’m asking and trying to answer. Because I tend to work counter-intuitively, I had started with too academic questions, full of abstraction and semicolons, and a smattering of similarly lofty subquestions. Here’s where I’ve been, and where I’m going.
audit of existing web experiences The long distance relationship websites in existence tend to be the work of one person or one couple, writing article after article, heavy with the implication that what worked for them will work for everyone. The deficit I find here is the lack of simultaneous, equal voices and personal interconnectivity that a social media platform allows for.
the mindmapping I knew I wanted a component of this to be a stream of information or moments, sortable and limitable in a variety of ways. Working from the blurry to the specific, I first brainstormed all the different ways to look at the information this system would wrangle.
what is it i want people to be able to do? I worked to clear the clouds and focus instead on what specific activities I’m envisioning for a user to be able to complete using this hypothetical platform I’m blueprinting.
how can social media help provide reassurance and external support to an individual in a long distance relationship? may still be my big “umbrella question,” but here are my new sub-questions, each directly relating to a branch of this map, with the answer to be illustrated in parentheses:
how can “mentorship” be used to encourage those who are frightened about the beginning of an LDR? —(finding and contacting a mentor) how can the online community help someone navigate a “rough patch” in their LDR? —(seeking advice on a topic, e.g. cheating) how can interactive information design help a separated partner connect with others’ experiences? —(sorting the overall stream by mood/tag) how can this platform allow for not only online communication but also offline friendship and companionship? —(finding a live meet-up)
by what parameters can users find each other personally? All of this information could be entered as part of the process of joining the community for simplicity of later searches.
what sorts of content can be found and sifted through in the stream? The general-purpose sharing space for any and all content. Things could be tagged to sort more easily.
week three: presentation & audience stories
This week marked the first official, class-wide presentation of our work so far and our intentions as we move forward.
I'm spending time at this point doing justice to the surveys I took and cataloguing people's stories. Here are some emergent points I've discovered, some more surprising than others. Given my sample, which are people that I know directly and through social media and who volunteered to participate in such a survey, the distance is overwhelmingly that of college. Even those who have dealt with other types of distance, such as military separation, have also experienced college separation. Almost everyone, military excluded, gets to see their partners around once a month. Phone, texting, skype, and facebook are huge communication help, while many people also enjoy the intimacy of letters. One coping mechanism that cropped up unexpectedly was that of pets, whether one partner currently has care of the other's, or whether a pet was adopted specifically to help with the separation.
strategy
week four: personas & scenarios This week, may I introduce four users (and their connections) to walk us through the scenarios I established in my presentation.
how can “mentorship” be used to encourage those who are frightened about the beginning of an LDR?
MEET ISABEL. isabel is about to graduate from high school. she’s headed off to her first-choice school in colorado in the fall, and earlier this semester, she was thrilled…but now she’s feeling a little awful and conflicted, because she sort of accidentally fell in love with her boyfriend, chris. whom she once told they could “have a nice time during senior year, but not make a big thing of it,” and who is now about to head for school in iowa. she thinks they’re too young to be thinking too hard about their future together, but that doesn’t stop her from furtively googling “high school sweetheart” statistics in the glow of her laptop. she finds a website that serves to connect people in long distance relationships to help each other get through it, and makes a post about her situation to see if anybody who’s been through the same thing has any advice for her. sarah, a junior in college, sees izzie’s post and relives a bit of her own fears and doubts from that time. she reaches out and offers to be a mentor to share her experiences and learning with someone who will likely parallel them.
how can the online community help someone navigate a “rough patch” in their LDR?
MEET JAMES. james’s girlfriend kelly made a mistake. she confessed and apologized after she went to a frat party with another guy, which in james’s mind, was not a big deal, and then danced with him all night, which was kind of a deal, and then also kissed him, which was a pretty big deal. they’d never really talked about how they would handle other people, but they both know they don’t feel great about how this went. unenthused about talking to his local friends about it but still hurt, he absently googles to learn about how other people deal with cheating. he comes across a long distance advice and support platform. he reads some related stories, and the multi-faceted replies they received, and decides to post his own to get another take on the situation. a handful of people warn him that one transgression often leads to another, but more people than he expected encouraged him to talk it out with kelly and give it another shot if they both still want to be together, after re-establishing clear guidelines and boundaries that they’re both comfortable with.
how can this platform allow for not only online communication but also offline friendship and companionship?
MEET MAGGIE. maggie & nick made it through basic training. they’ve been together for a few years now, and survived a handful of transfers and new locales. the first time they were apart, she cried for days, but she found a website to help her cope better by helping her connect with others who are dealing with similar circumstances. she made online friends with a young army wife who mentored her through those hard first separations, and has developed a healthy rhythm when nick’s away, taking care of their dog, and reading books. but things are about to change again: he’s being deployed in afghanistan, and he won’t be home again for a long time. they spend all the time together they possibly can before he leaves, but maggie knows she’s going to need backup to get through this time in her life. searching through users close to her, she finds mandy, whose boyfriend has been in afghanistan for a few months already. she reaches out to her and the two make a date for lunch a few days after nick leaves, when sarah knows she’ll need somebody to talk to about it.
how can interactive information design help a separated partner connect with the experiences of other users?
MEET LUCY. lucy met her girlfriend anna online. she’s an ocean away, but lucy’s dad works for an airline, so it’s nowhere near as miserable as it could be. they may only get to spend time in person once every few months, but they find time to talk and skype almost every day, and love making mixtapes and sending letters (despite the postage). but the time difference does mean they each have quite a bit of time when they can’t talk to one another, so lucy’s taken to using a long distance relationship website to read stories about other couples and share stories of her own, as well as mixtapes, links, and photos and videos. depending on how she’s feeling, she can look at funny pictures, or embarrassingly sappy cute stories, or even sad breakup songs when she wants to feel grateful for what she and anna have. she especially likes the daily questions where people talk about their relationships, whether it’s about their history, their best memories, or their craziest wishes about the future together.
what sorts of tags and categories can emerge through the stream? Lucy’s scenario in particular references the sorting of the stream of content by particular topics or feelings, which is something I’ve been pondering. I like the function in facebook where you begin typing something, and if others have already typed the same thing, it becomes a link so that everyone who mentions it connects to the same idea. I also like the idea of hashtags, hyperlinked words or phrases that can trend daily and get everyone interested in reading and writing the same kinds of content together all in a flurry... I’m envisioning the story-telling/moment-adding to cleverly read what you’re typing, and offer tags and topics that match the words you’re already using. Here are some of those concepts.
week five: identity & sitemapping
ATTRIBUTES kind, reassuring, not too serious
A big part of what I discussed in small-group critique on Monday was what to call this website. Here is my first list of loose thoughts and ideas around it: “we’ve got this”/”we got this” we can do a (week, month, year) [that one comes from my own experience, a recurring mantra from tearful goodbyes: ‘we can do a month, a month is easy.’] hearts in two places makes the heart grow fonder distance survival separation nation/separation station patience apartnership smart apart heart apart together apart I was pretty excited about ‘smart apart’, myself, but it didn’t seem quite right. I think someone said, “you have ‘together apart’, but it’s not there yet... why not just ‘apart together’?” and it clicked into place in my head. That is what I moved forward with.
Attributes I’m intending to convey with the mark are kindness, reassurance, and not taking itself too seriously. Here are some of my initial type considerations:
Then I began to see how they could fit together, and ended up pretty pleased with V.A.G. Rounded. A simple heart pictogram pulls the negative space together and reaffirms the attributes. I also started to establish a site-map to help me clearly understand what possibilities the user has on the site, and how they should be prioritized. A few new notions appear on the sitemap that came up in small-group, such as an algorithmic matching mechanism to help people find each other without searching; the idea of sharing LDR mixtapes through another app like spotify; and the notion of a mood map, that can help you navigate everyone’s content spatially through positivity/negativity, high energy/low energy, etc. Onward and upward!
week six: wireframes
1.0 ISABEL SIGNS UP. Upon first load, a new visitor is greeted with the daily question, which she can examine statistics for and read answers to, but if she attempts to answer herself, she is prompted to join.
Isabel, preparing to separate from her boyfriend for college, decides to sign up.
She’s asked to provide basic information about herself and her relationship so that she can be searched and matched with people with similar experiences, should she so desire. This information will populate her profile.
After providing her profile content, she is presented with some basic links to either set up her account or jump in to begin using the site.
She joined the site to ask questions and get advice, so she asks a question. A post is automatically tagged as a question if it contains a question mark, and keywords are pulled into the tags as well. Isabel could add other tags of her own, if she wants. She can also list what feelings she associates with her question, which help her post find its place in a mood-map, another way of navigating content.
1.5 SARAH REACHES OUT. Sarah, an established user, signs on and is presented with the day’s questions.
Declining to answer at the moment, she goes to the stream, which displays all the recent content (stories, questions, advice, mixtape playlists, photos, videos, etc...) in tiles or in a list. She sees a question from a little while ago about high school sweethearts, something she feels like she knows a lot about.
Sarah has the option of responding to the question in text, attaching a song through music app integration, loving the post, or viewing related posts. she clicks Isabel’s name or photo to visit her profile instead.
The profile has a place for a single profile image as well as an photo of the couple. Information appears about both the user and their relationship. The posts, content, and answers they have added show up. Sarah has the option to simply message her, or offer to mentor her, as Isabel indicated that was something that interested her when she was signing up.
Sarah offers to help support izzie through the rough transition of college and keep in touch, offering advice and her own experience to somebody who wants it.
2.0 JAMES NEEDS ADVICE James, an occasional user, is having a terrible day and logs on for backup.
He skips the daily question and goes straight for the search: he searches all content for ‘cheating.’
Failing to find exactly what he was looking for, he decides to ask his own question. He tags it with labels and feelings so others can find it easily and navigates away for a while to give people time to answer.
When he comes back, he sees quite a few people have responded in a lot of different ways. He weighs the different answers and psychs himself up to try to forgive.
3.0 LUCY EXPLORES MOOD Lucy, a frequent user, logs on to brighten her day while her trans-Atlantic girlfriend isn’t available.
She mouses around the different feelings in the cloud and chooses “thrilled” to see recent happy content.
Two of her online friends from Apart Together just got engaged! She clicks to see the picture.
Lucy adds her congratulations to the stack of other well-wishers.
3.0 MAGGIE MEETS UP Maggie, an off-and-on user, logs on to find someone close to her location to spend time with when her boyfriend is deployed.
Based on the information she gave when she signed up, Apart Together is able to provide her with a list of matches based on her parameters. Previously, she just wanted to chat online, but now, she wants to find someone nearby.
Mandy was a top match for her, living close by, with a very similar situation. She looks at Mandy’s profile and thinks they might get along.
Maggie sends her a message explaining the situation and offers to meet up sometime offline to keep each other company while their partners are overseas.
design
week seven: presentation & design directions
For midterm presentations, we presented an overview of where we were with our projects as well as some rough design comps to get feedback on how we should proceed visually.
A PAPER-FLAT DESIGN A collaged map panel would contrast with the bright white background that allows any colorful content to stand out on its own.
A PHOTO-RICH DESIGN A photo-heavy design would allow the content to float above images which could be directly user-chosen or crowdsourced generally and image-faded between one another throughout the viewing experience.
Everyone agreed that the photoheavy direction was more interesting and is the design tactic I should be pursuing. Now my work is cut out for me in solving the legibility issues and finding ways to make the photography harmonious with the way the site works. Ultimately, I decided that the background would load a random image from a curated selection bank for each new viewing session. Each user could upload their own unique background image for their profile page.
Logo staging The Apart Together logo is not afraid to get cozy with other elements, reinforcing its idea of comfort and proximity, as long as there’s at least a letterstroke-width space around it.
Apart Together color palette A bright, cheerful, and even passionate red-pink is used in the brandmark itself and as a dominant color in design. It is supported by a cast of five reassuring and kind blue-greens. Black and white both make general appearances as well, providing legibility against the image-rich environment.
Typography The Apart Together typography is breathy and oversized Bariol. Brand voice copy is all lowercase.
abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Photography The curated background photos have in common a muted color palette, a sense of contemplation, contentment, romance, or travel, and often make use of bokeh techniques of softly captured lights.
week eight: promotional video narrative
Here is the narrative I’m going to be working with for my video. I’ve gone from four separate personas to just two for the sake of shooting simplicity.
he asks a question: “my girlfriend cheated on me at a party. what do i do now?” close ups on some answers: “dump her before she cheats again.” “people make mistakes.” “well, people make the same mistakes again.” “maybe talk it out and work on boundaries?” “if it’s worth it, you guys can work through it.” “good luck with whatever you do!”
a girl and a boy hold hands through a car window. he kisses her hand and drives away. she stands and watches his car, waving and wiping her eyes.
he takes a deep breath. the phone rings and he answers it.
she opens her macbook and types.
the same girl is online. she looks at the feed and smiles a little.
the screen is shown with the together apart page. she skips the daily question and posts to the stream: “he just left. now to get through another six weeks…” and a message comes in. “i just dropped my girlfriend off at the airport. i think we live in the same part of town—wanna get some coffee so we aren’t alone this afternoon?” she writes back “yes, please!”
sees, “do high school sweethearts ever really work out?” she comments back: “so far, so good…” and visits this person’s profile. she offers to mentor. “we split for college three years ago, and we’re still going strong… i’m here if you ever want to talk to somebody.” the boy gets on the home page. he answers the daily question.
a different boy enters a room with his phone ringing. he doesn’t answer it. he sits down to his computer. it is ringing. he ignores it. a text comes through. he doesn’t look. he turns the sound off, and it vibrates.
his phone buzzes: a text says “i miss you.” he goes to the mood map. he clicks “hopeful.”
apart doesn’t have to mean alone.
weeks nine & ten: ardent designing of screens
SARAH SAYS GOODBYE Sarah’s boyfriend Sebastian has just left. She logs on to Apart Together to commiserate with other long distancers.
She tags her post for content and mood, hoping for a little sympathy or at least a distraction. It just always takes a while before she can shake off the visit and get back to normal life without him.
Friends and compatriots make her feel better with kind words. She also receives a direct message.
Welcoming the diversions of a new friend, coffee, and conversation, Sarah fixes her makeup and goes out into the world.
JAMES NEEDS ADVICE James can’t handle talking to Kelly so soon after she confessed to making out with another guy. He logs on to Apart Together to find out what others have done in his situation.
He searches for content tagged or about ‘cheating.’ There’s tons of posts, images, and mixtapes, but nothing looks like it helps.
He swallows his pride and posts his own question, tagging the content and mood, and then clicks around the site, unsure of how to proceed until he gets some other viewpoints.
He navigates back to find a wide array of voices offering suggestions for whether to break up or work on forgiveness for a stupid mistake. They wish him luck on however he chooses to handle the situation, and he readies himself to talk it out with Kelly.
SARAH OFFERS SUPPORT Sarah comes back home, brightened and refreshed from meeting Alise for coffee. They had both had wonderful weekends with their partners, and it felt good to talk about their relationships with somebody who understood.
She looks at the stream to see what’s going on with everybody in the community. Scrolling down, she sees a post by Isabel asking whether high school sweethearts have a chance of lasting past high school.
Isabel’s profile has a photo of her with her boyfriend, a personalized background, and a cute song lyric. She must be a new user; she hasn’t shared much content yet. There’s a mentorship button in her info-box, indicating that she would like to use the website to find people who’ve been through it all before.
Sarah and Sebastian went through what Izzie and Chris are about to experience three years ago, and are still going strong. Sarah reaches out to offer to listen or give advice, should she want it.
JAMES FEELS OKAY After talking to Kelly about the boundaries and expectations they’d never really addressed before she moved, James feels like they can healthily move past this weekend and let it be one uncomfortable little glitch along the way.
Having dealt with his crisis, he sees what else there is to do on Apart Together. He opens the mood map and sees who else is sharing content feeling like he feels now: hopeful.
week eleven: animating & filming
I wrote character stories to help my actors understand where they were coming from before filming. THE LEAVING BOY (SEBASTIAN) it’s sunday. it’s almost five, and honestly, you kind of meant to leave an hour or so ago, but you decided to just take the day slowly and enjoy it. you slept in, went out to lunch, came back, and spent the lazy afternoon in bed. you’ve got a load of homework to do and you’re not going to get home until almost midnight… but it was worth it to come visit her for the weekend, always. you went out last night and drank and had fun and then crashed out in each others’ arms like you wish you could do more often. this afternoon, everything is heavy with romantic inertia: you wish time would stop and you could just stay. you’ve already had the goodbye denials, and the makeout bargains. now it’s parting as acceptance. you walk unhappily down the steps holding hands or clutching arms, pack hanging off your back. you open the car door and throw it inside. you shut the car door and hug. you lean together against the car and hold onto each other. maybe kiss her on the mouth and forehead. you get reluctantly in the car, leaving the door open. hugs. shut the door, roll the window down and kiss hands or faces through it. deep breaths, put it in drive. wave as you drive towards the highway.
things it’s not: passionate, tragic, desperate. things it is: realistic, bittersweet, familiar.
THE GIRL (SARAH) it’s sunday. it’s almost five, and you know he has been sort of trying to leave for maybe an hour or more, but you don’t want to let go. it’s been a slow, lovely day. you slept in, went out to lunch, came back, and spent the lazy afternoon in bed. you’ve got a load of homework to do, but you’d much rather he just stick around. even if you’re stressed, it’s worth it for him to come visit for a weekend. you went out last night and drank and had fun and then crashed out in each other’s arms like you wish you could do more often. this afternoon, everything is heavy with romantic inertia: you wish time would stop and he would just stay. you’ve already had the goodbye denials, and the makeout bargains. now it’s parting as acceptance. you walk unhappily down your steps holding hands or clutching arms. he pulls away to open the car door and you step close as he throws his backpack inside. he shuts the car door and you lean into a hug, holding onto each other against the car. he kisses your forehead and reluctantly gets into the car, leaving the door open. you try to follow him in for another hug. he shuts the door, rolls down the window, and takes your hands to kiss, or your face. deep breaths, step back. blow a kiss as he heads for the highway. you watch him turn the corner and you walk back inside. you climb the stairs and unlock the door. your motions are drained, rubbing your eyes, face, and neck. you sigh. pop your knuckles, etc. you grab your macbook and open it, typing the url “aparttogether.com.”
you react to a few different things: you smile, frown, sigh, sniff. a girl whose long distance girlfriend just left town, too, asks you to meet for coffee, and you type back with a smile and nod. eventually, you close your macbook, set it somewhere, grab your keys & purse and exit. rather later— you come home with a to-go coffee cup, obviously feeling better. you come in and sit back down, grabbing the computer and opening it on your lap. you type the address, and scroll through the feed. you stop on a question that reminds you of yourself three years ago. your face breaks into an “aww.” you click to see her profile and reach out.
THE BOY (JAMES) it’s saturday night. she’s been calling basically non-stop ever since you hung up a few hours ago. you know what happened, you know she’s sorry…you know you don’t have anything else to say about it right now. what you don’t know is what you’re going to do next, when you finally do talk to her again. you walk into your room, phone buzzing. you throw it on the bed and get out your computer.
thinking back about how long you’ve known each other and how much you’ve already been through together. this stuff sucks, but if you work together through it, you think you can get past it. it’s not going to be easy, but maybe you’ve got a shot.
she got a little carried away last night, she said. she had a little much to drink, danced a little close. your stomach hurts to think about it. every time she calls, you ignore it. buzz, ignore. but you don’t have the heart to turn it all the way off. you go to apart together, which you’ve used a couple of times since she moved away, and ask for advice about cheating. buzz, ignore. you feel a little self-conscious about it, but after you start reading some of the answers, a complex kind of relief trickles down your neck. there isn’t just one kind of answer. you don’t really want to call it quits yet, and not everybody thinks you should. maybe it’s worth talking it out. god, she’s still, still calling. she must be as freaked out as you, you realize. you take a deep breath and pick up, trying to keep your “hello” from shaking. rather later—you both talked until she fell asleep on the phone. you get back on apart together to see what else there is and find yourself answering the day’s question about how you met.
things it’s not: violent, spiteful, calculating. things it is: sore, confusing, hesitant.
weeks twelve & thirteen: video production
Last weekend I had the pleasure of directing some very dear and agreeable studiomate actors in the footage I needed to get for my video. A special thanks to Ashley, Eli, and Jumper for the use of their lovely personages. It was nervewracking all the way around, but I think it all came out pretty nicely and I’m excited to be stitching it artfully together to show to you. At this point, we’re down to the end... this, I suppose, is my final process post about degree project. I present my final on Monday! Right now, I’m remixing my song, Alina’s Place by Fredrik, to last the correct duration, and I’m making some revisions to my screens and my film. I’m so excited about this project and so pleased with how it is turning out... it’s an exciting feeling.
[as a conceptually relevant ldr sidebar, yesterday was david’s & my 4.5th anniversary, and we’re going to meet for dinner in des moines this evening, because we don’t have time for a proper kansas city or galesburg visit. i realized that we’ve been “distanced” for 44 months... but not very many more! i’m proud of that, and proud of how this project is turning out. onward to the final version!]
reflection
I’m so grateful for the opportunity and guidance that made this possible. This concludes my degree project: the user research, development, and social media website proposal for Apart Together. This also concludes my time in the Graphic Design program of the Kansas City Art Institute, an experience which I will be carrying irrevocably with me for the rest of my life. The care, discipline, and thoroughness of thought I have learned will serve me well everywhere I go from here forward.