Parenting Pearls Mind Hack

Homesickness is Just a Little Headache

By Nate Davis

The bags are packed. Your kid has a new hockey stick, mini-fridge, air conditioner, ATV, and whatever else kids bring to camp these days. And he’s ready to go. There’s only one problem: “stuff” doesn’t heal homesickness.

If your kid is going to camp for the first time, especially if he is young, he is very likely going to experience some level of homesickness; some kids more, some kids less, but they all get it, unless you are doing a bang-up job as a parent and they are thrilled to be away from you.

So, for the kid who is going to be a little sad for a day or two, not to worry. It’ll pass. But what do you do if you know that your son/daughter is the type to have a prolonged bout of homesickness?

Here’s a helpful message to give them:

Homesickness is just like any other sickness that you get from time to time.

Imagine you have a headache when you go on a chol hamoed trip with the family. The headache bothers you, but you still enjoy the pizza or the park or the go-carts. It’s just that you are a little uncomfortable. Eventually, the headache goes away, and you end up having a great time on the trip. When you look back at the chol hamoed trip, you don’t even remember that you had a headache.

It’s the same thing with camp—instead of HEADACHE sick, you may be HOME sick.

You will still enjoy the canteen, the night activities, the fireworks, and being away from your annoying brother/sister.

Just like when you have a headache it eventually goes away, even though you can’t pinpoint the moment that it happens, it’s the same thing with your homesickness. It will eventually go away, even though you won’t be able to pinpoint when it dissipated.

So, when you are feeling homesick, say to yourself, “I am feeling sick right now. And that is not a good feeling. But es himself to that all-consuming thought of homesickness. If you can create space between your child and his/her homesickness, they will start allowing other why there is such a push towards mindfulness today. With all of the anxiety and fears that people have, it’s whack-amole to try to silence each one; the only option is to shift the mind into a state of pure presence. Negative emotions thrive off the past and future and die in the present. even though I am sick, I’m going to try to enjoy myself the best that I can.”

Mark Zuckerberg recently explained that the reason he has hobbies like judo and extreme water sports is because it forces him to be totally focused on the present moment, thus forgetting about all of the things that can weigh him down mentally. He acknowledged that although many people get that through meditation and breath work, he has a hard time doing that, so he does these other activities which force him to be present.

Our kids may not necessarily have the tools to practice mindfulness (neither do I or many other adults). This method is a bit of a mindfulness-hack because if the child digests the message, they will challenge themselves to “live in the now” despite their homesickness.

The reason that this message is helpful is because homesickness can become all-consuming and create a fatalistic and helpless mindset. That’s why it lingers. Fatalism and hopelessness tend to stay past the invite. In a sense, the kid attach- experiences in. Once they do that, those other experiences will eventually drown out the thoughts of homesickness.

The reason the other experiences will drown out the homesickness is because those experiences are moments of presence and consciousness. It’s no secret that presence and consciousness beat anxiety and fear every time. This is

You can even make a game out of it. Tell your son, “On the first opportunity that you have to go to the canteen, I want you to go get a big ice cream and I want you to sit down and eat it, and while you are eating it, I want you to think about how delicious it is. Think about the crunch of the sprinkles, the sweetness of the hot fudge, the sugar cone…everything.” Wait, but what about my homesickness? It’s OK…you can still enjoy an ice cream with a headache; you can still enjoy an ice cream with your homesickness!

Hopefully this message will work and your child will have a great summer filled with amazing experiences and growth. And, yes, you worked really hard getting your kid off to camp – go enjoy an ice cream cone with sprinkles and hot fudge; enjoy the crunch.