Five Towns Jewish Home - 9-1-16

September 1 — September 7, 2016

Distributed weekly in the Five Towns, Long Island, Queens & Brooklyn

Your Favorite Five Towns Family Newspaper

Chayal El Chayal

Pages 10, 11, 12 & 13

Around the

Community

A Lone Soldier’s Home Away From Home

46 7th Annual Cross River Golf & Tennis Outing to Benefit Madraigos is a Smashing Success

pg

40

Rabbi YY Rubinstein on the Backfire Effect

Senator Kaminsky and UJA Help Local Kids Get Ready for School

48

pg

Walking the Boardwalk for Sderot

Page 89

– See pages 38 & 39 – See pages 3 & 33

SEASONS LAWRENCE

330 Central Avenue, Lawrence, NY 11559

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The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

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DaysDo not miss40 D 0ysDays A Tzaddik Decrees

S. power Y. Bornstein Rebbe Maran Hagaon Harav Hakadosh Baruch Hu gives him the to ask – and receive.

Did you you would merit something like this? Did you d yet, here is your opportunity to ever have dream them all come to the Kosel The Maranan The Maranan Yitzchok Zilberstein did Ha'ir arrange such an incredible thing? How significance of having one gadolHow daven onKupat your your behalf. To daven thatever youcontemplate have a sweetthe year.

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The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1,have 2016 in our lives 5 right now ehways especially to daven on your Hama'aravi every day The Lelover Rebbe Hama'aravi every day private person.

The prayer of an ordinary person cannot compare that your family is included?

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Day after day after day, without letup, until the Pinsk-Ka K"k Maran Th e Yehuda Boyer contributors to Kupat l to the Kosel for you.

No, that theirs; our on tefillos not like theirs.during Their minds full of unnecessary such aare time? you want to feel you didlike your very best your are family's behalf?

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WillRefael youRibono Moshe Shlesinger u have a sweetAll year.

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We read quotes of their words with Hama'aravi every day is what will give all your tzedakos and tefilos additional elevation?Hama'aravi every ador Maranimpassive Hagaon Harav that your family is included?

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Kidneys, Lung Now. Before the Yom H K"k Maran The a sense of awe.

If we happen to be at an event at which they are Mordechai Gross to pray on behalf of behalf of en your life hangs in the balance – is that aMaran time to hesitate?

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Everything is w that a change can still b participating as well, fortunate, and we hurry over to contributors to Kupat contributors to Kupat Pinsk-Karlin Rebbe want to feel you did your very best on your family's behalf? during such a time?

Yehuda Boyer unnecessary after day, without until–the Chaim Kanievsky Gershon Edelstein Maran Hagaon Harav Vizhnitzer Rebbe Yaakov Yitzch Sanzer Rebbe K"k Maran Rebbe Ha'ir: How many spiritualBiale and physical dangers there arei requestletup, a brachah and here they will conduct a forty-day prayer Ha'ir: With our lives hanging TheEdelstein shlit"a arachamim, for forty consecutive Yehudah Silman how much siyata dishmaya parents need just for the session in order to ask for everything we hold dear. a rare tefillah added to Nadvorna Rebbe Maran K"k Maran ha'Admor Rabi written in the Zohar Hakadosh "is K"k Maran TheHagaon Harav to raise children in a peaceful frame of excessive? mind. necessary, We Maran Hagaon HaravDovid Abuchatzeira Shimon Rachmastrivka RebbeGalai time; to canforgo there this be a great This is why we cannot afford incre Maran Hagaon Harav Moshe Shaul Klein merit something like this? Did you there any tzedakah more It's a protective shield unlike anything we've ev Maran Hagaon Harav Maran HagaonYitzchok Harav Zilberstein Maran Hagaon Harav ce of having one gadol daven on your the power of a tzaddik – Instead Harav of running to them when you can't fin Maran Hagaon Yosef Chaim Kopshitz Baruch Hu gives our leaders the power ofMoshe "tzadik gozer Refael Elkarif e so – all theseHakadosh gedolim? Perhaps this Kosel to this – and we will Shlesinger hesitate?

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PerhapsThis is a zechus that – and you?

Maran Hagaon Maran Hagaon Harav of these words. We read quotes of their wordstefillah, with in your lifeMaran chinuch, or when a disease is Harav diagnosed – let's run Fifty gedolei hador un The Lelover Rebbe Hagaon Harav private person.

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Maran Hagaon Harav is a tefillah that rips apart unfavorable decrees and tips the Avigdor Nebenzahl . If we happen to be at an event at which they are Now. Before the Yom Hadin.

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Elimelech Biderman S. Baadani, shlit"a. Hagaon Hatzaddik Rav Elimelech Biderman, 40-consecutive at Ha'ir arrange such an incredible thing? How shlit"a, will take one day, Hagaon and so on and so forth.

Maran Harav Maran Hagaon Hatzaddik days of prayer at orked out? How can anyone fail to join? Will you Yaakov Hillel Every day, a different gadol will rend the heavens, forming a consecutive R' Aharon Toisig the Kosel by the credible event to take place without ensuring super-powerful tefillah. Another gadol hador, another posek hador…

Gedolei Hador mily is included? Who can remain impassive in Maran Hagaon Harav K"k is Maran The the common denominator that tzaddik gozer vaHashem mekayem. themselves from h a powerful tefillah?

Who deems such Maran a tefillah Hagaon Harav Maran Maran Hagaon Harav Harav K"k Maran The K"k Maran The Hagaon Maran The Maran Maran K"k MaranThe The Chaim Feinstein Pinsk-Karlin Rebbe Salachti kidvarecha.

"Is surely answered." during such a time?

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SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Dear Readers,

A

of the store and we waited for a while. Why don’t we shop for school supplies in the middle of the summer? That’s a good question.

And I pondered the query while I waited on that really long line. I had time to come up with three really good reasons.

First and foremost is practical. I only got the school supply lists two weeks ago and there were other things on my to-do list at the time that took priority so school supplies had to wait. I also realized that even if I would have had the list before the summer, shopping for school supplies would have been a downer during the beautiful summer months. We should be shopping for bathing suits and sunscreen while the summer days are long, not picking out protractors and rulers. And you know what? Choosing smiley face pencils and glittery notebooks is fun – in the right time.

And having kids pick them out a few days before school starts gets them in the mood and makes learning for them a little more fun.

We still have a few days before school starts and we’re going to be packing in our last few days of vacation as we scramble to check off our school to-do lists for the start of the year. May this year be filled with growth and success for all our children as they embark on another year of learning and development.

ugust is over and that means one thing: school is about to begin. After quite a few days home with kids who are constantly wondering what they should do, I am excited for school to start. There are just so many times we can go to the park, get pizza, go swimming, play board games, or go biking. Hey, I have an idea! Why don’t we practice your multiplication tables? Well, that didn’t go over very well.

They say that you should prepare your children for school by getting them into a routine, including an earlier bedtime so that they can be ready for the bus on the first day.

It’s nice in theory but summer is a time of late nights. There’s a lot of relaxation before bed and the reluctance of going to sleep is only compounded by them knowing that there’s no specific time they need to wake up the next day. Perhaps a very subtle moving up the clock ten minutes every night may work; it’s worth a try. But then that means that I have an earlier wake up time the next day. I guess mothers need to get into back-to-school routines as well.

Today we headed out for school supplies.

We were supposed to be in the store right when it opened, so we could beat the lines.

But being that we’re not on our school bedtimes yet, wake up was much later and we went around noon. Apparently, many other families are also not in the school rhythm.

The line stretched down the whole length

Wishing you a wonderful week, Shoshana

Yitzy Halpern PUBLISHER

publisher@fivetownsjewishhome.com

Yosef Feinerman MANAGING EDITOR

ads@fivetownsjewishhome.com

Shoshana Soroka EDITOR

editor@fivetownsjewishhome.com

Nate Davis Editorial Assistant Nechama Wein Copy Editor Rachel Bergida Berish Edelman Mati Jacobovits Design & Production Gabe Solomon Distribution & Logistics P.O. BOX 266 Lawrence, NY 11559 Phone | 516-734-0858 Fax | 516-734-0857 Classifieds: Deadline Mondays 5PM classifieds@fivetownsjewishhome.com text 443-929-4003 The Jewish Home is an independent weekly magazine.

Opinions expressed by writers are not neces­ sarily the opinions of the publisher or editor. The Jewish Home is not responsible for typographical errors, or for the kashrus of any product or business advertised within. The Jewish Home contains words of Torah. Please treat accordingly.

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SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Contents LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

8

COMMUNITY Readers’ Poll

8

Community Happenings

40

NEWS Global

13

National

24

Odd-but-True Stories

35

ISRAEL

55

Israel News

20

Chayal El Chayal – A Lone Soldier’s Home Away From Home 64

Jerusalem’s Streets – Stories Behind the Names

by Gedaliah Borvick

68

PEOPLE Recap from Rio by Avi Heiligman

84

PARSHA Rabbi Wein

54

JEWISH THOUGHT A Tense Situation by Rabbi Jonathan Gewirtz

55

Of Misers and Men by Eytan Kobre

58

The Backfire Effect by Rabbi YY Rubinstein

60

HEALTH & FITNESS Being Emotionally Unavailable by Deb Hirschhorn, PhD

74

What is Glycemic Index? by Cindy Weinberger MS, RD, CDN

76

Let’s Get Physical by Dr. Hylton I Lightman

77

Do as I Say, Not as I Do by Chanie Delman, LCSW

78

FOOD & LEISURE The Aussie Gourmet: Chips ‘n’ Dips & Pesto Mac ‘n’ Cheese

86

Dear Editor, I know that now that school is starting, many children are groaning that their days of freedom are over. But we, as parents, can help them see things in a different light.

We should highlight the wonderful things that they did in the summer.

Ask them what their favorite activity or trip or sport was. Ask them to look at their achievements this summer, whether it was swimming more speedily, hitting a ball farther than before, painting a more realistic painting, or hanging out more with friends. They can cherish their fun in the summer and look at the memories as a way to recharge them for the summer year. Yes, we had fun; yes, school is starting; but just as we achieved this summer, we will succeed and grow this year as well.

Sincerely, Chani D.

Dear Editor, Loved those “presidential” cookie recipes you included in this week’s issue. Now I know what to serve on Election Day. A Reader

Dear Editor, I have been following the letters to editor regarding Trump and Hil-

lary and I can’t stop asking myself: what would it take for our people to understand what the Democratic Party has become? Many of the Jewish people voted for Giuliani after the Crown Heights riots. Do we actually have to wait for something similar in order to stop voting for the Democrats? Imagine one mistake made by someone from Shomrim, some looter who happens to be black is killed or hurt, and “Black Lives Matter” will be here inspiring to beat up and kill Jews, and Obama or Hillary coming in support of the black criminal killed no matter who he is. Or imagine one mistake of FBI and we will have a Muslim terrorist blowing up a synagogue. Under Democrats the whole concept of Muslim terror is removed from FBI handbooks. Many of the recent terror acts could have been prevented if not for political correctness. Why do the Democrats scream that decreasing the numbers of immigrants from Muslim countries is unconstitutional? In the last 30 years somewhat more than a million people came here from China, that has a total population of more than a billion, but over 100,000 came to USA from Lebanon and as many from Jordan even though these countries have less than 10 million people each. An average Chinese person therefore Continued on page 12

LIFESTYLES Dating Dialogue, Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW 71 Back to School; Back to Routine

84

82

Sweaty Eyeballs by Rabbi Mordechai 100 Kruger Your Money

Fly Me to the Moon by Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., CLC, SDS

110 111

HUMOR Centerfold Uncle Moishy Fun Page

52 102

POLITICAL CROSSFIRE Notable Quotes

88

Trump’s Repellant Inner Circle by Michael Gerson

96

The Bribery Standard by Charles Krauthammer

98

CLASSIFIEDS

104

It’s back to school next week! Did you buy your kids’ school supplies yet?

69

%

YES

31

%

NO

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

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SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Continued from 8

had less than 10 times worse chance to immigrate into USA than an Arab.

So what’s unconstitutional about making the number of immigrants from Jordan 100 per year, and giving the extra slots to Chinese?

Of course, not every Muslim person supports terror, but there is a greater percent of Muslims backing terrorism than the percent of Germans who supported the Nazis.

Imagine if during WWII many Germans wanted to immigrate to USA and we knew some of them were Nazis and were sent here to do terrorist acts, would we let them in?

Any candidate who would scream about “Naziphobia” would be a lunatic. And yet many Jews are willing to vote for Hillary who is about to increase the intake of Syrian immigrants by more than 500% knowing many of them are terrorists and after a while we will have a warzone here just as in France (which only has 5-10 % of Muslims and still can’t deal with them).

Our main priority should be fighting Islamic terror just as at some point most resources were spent to fight the Nazi ideology and later the Communist ideology, but Obama and Hillary believe that our main problem is global warming.

Islamic terror was not even mentioned on the Democratic convention. We should minimize the numbers of immigrants from Muslim countries and reinstitute spying on those mosques that promote terror and only the Republicans can do this. In addition, the Republicans are going to restore the support for police and arrest and severely punish the rioters.

One last point: in case Hillary, whose health is failing, can’t do her job, our president will be Tim Kaine, but in case Trump is for some reason no longer our president (or even if

CEDARHURST • WOODMERE • GOURMETGLATT.COM

he is impeached) we will have Mike Pence for president. For those who don’t know anything about these two people I suggest you do some research and then decide which one you would want to run this country.

Sincerely, Chaim Sunitsky

Dear Editor, I’m embarrassed to say that I have not stepped foot into any of the national parks listed in your magazine. I happen to think that America has beautiful places to see, but sadly none of them are close to home.

Perhaps when I have more time to step away from the desk, I can enjoy the grandeur from up close. For now, I’m going to have to be satisfied with my screensavers.

Thanks, though, for reminding me of the beauty that surrounds us.

Jerry Skolnik

Dear Editor, My mother was a Jewish Holocaust survivor. I got your free Jewish paper at a Jewish senior citizen place near the Delancy area where I eat low cost kosher food by donation and wanted to write you regarding second generation Jewish persons in poverty who were never given any financial aid by any Jewish non-profit organizations, some which rake in millions. There is never any financial aid for any very low income American Jewish persons but always for Jewish education, Jewish summer camps and large salaries for their executives.

The U.S. Holocaust museum in D.C. gets millions and millions more in donations from some rich American Jews yet they never give financial aid to Jewish Holocaust survivors.

Sincerely, Eric Nathanael Kemer

This photo was inadvertently mislabeled in our Tisha B’Av issue. The caption should have read, “Hungarian Jews disembarking from cattle cars in Auschwitz.” Mr. Josef Kreitenberg of Los Angeles contacted TJH to point out the misstated caption. He was actually there when the photo was taken; his parents, two brothers and twin sister were on that train. His sister Sura Hy”d is on the top left of the photo; his mother Chaya Hy”d is standing to her right. Mr. Kreitenberg was 14 in 1944, when the photo was taken.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

The Week In News

Putin’s SonIn-Law One of Russia’s Wealthiest

Did you know that Vladimir Putin has two daughters? Don’t be too hard on yourself for failing that piece of trivia. Neither of the Russian president’s daughters have appeared with him publicly since they were little girls and the Kremlin refuses to comment on what they do or what they look like.

Well, according to Forbes magazine, it turns out that one of Vladimir Putin’s daughters is married to one of the wealthiest men in Russia.

Kirill Shamalov has been uncovered by several independent investigations as being married to Katerina Tikhonova, the younger Putin princess.

Shamalov’s family is the fourth wealthiest in Russia. His father is worth $100 million – but Kirill himself is worth an estimated $2.3 billion thanks to his 21.3 percent share in energy company Sibur. Unsurprisingly, his wealth has reportedly increased greatly since his marriage to Tikhonova.

Since his outing as Putin’s sonin-law, Shamalov’s dealings have been under heavy scrutiny by oppositionist parties. Anti-corruption blogger Alexey Navalny filed a corruption lawsuit against Putin after he discovered that Sibur had received a $1.75 billion government investment in 2015. Fortunately for Putin, Russia’s constitution gives the president immunity and the case was thrown out.

Sounds like a good family to marry into … as long as you behave yourself.

Slow Rebuilding in Italy

The effects of the devastating earthquake that rocked Italy last week are being felt in a very permanent way in many places. For Pescara Del Tronto, a small mountain town of about 300 people, the earthquake will likely mean the end of that town’s existence on the Italian map.

In a few seconds of violent shaking, all but five of the town’s houses were leveled. The economy in the region was already on the decline, and it is very unlikely that rebuilding will be worth the cost.

At least 290 people were killed in the mountain towns along the fault line, according to Italian officials.

Most that were displaced in the aftermath of the quake are living in temporary tents and makeshift huts.

Within the next three months, the government is planning on building wooden huts for those to live in, hoping to do so before winter hits.

The huts can be built near people’s destroyed homes, so they can be in an area familiar to them.

Many of the destroyed towns are along the ancient Via Salaria, a Roman road that leads from Rome to the Adriatic Sea. The road itself sustained a lot of damage and is now lined with rescue jeeps, supplies trucks and temporary tents.

Italy has notoriously been heavily influenced by the mafia and many are questioning if buildings were not constructed soundly when they were built. A school, for instance, was built recently and was supposed to be quake-proof. That building, though, did not survive the earthquake. As the country looks towards reconstruction, some officials are concerned about the Mob getting their paws into the rebuilding.

“The risks are there; it’s impossible to hide. And post-earthquake reconstruction is historically a delicious morsel for criminal groups and business interests,” anti-mafia prosecutor Franco Roberti told the Italian daily La Repubblica.

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SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home

ping and extortion. In recent years, they’ve changed tactics and mostly made their money in the drug trade.

Much of the group’s top brass have been indicted in the United States for drug trafficking.

NOWO KO L L E L

AN INTIMATE EVENING WITH Most of the impact of the conflict has been felt in the rural areas of Colombia. Unsurprisingly, many urban-dwellers are more outspokenly opposed to the deal. Opponents of the deal see it as not taking a harsh enough stand against the criminals who have been wreaking havoc on the country over the last few decades.

The top FARC lieutenants have received light sentences, and the guerrilla group will now hold five seats in both the House and the Senate. Many in the group are being let off the hook by simply confessing their crimes.

For now, a ceasefire has been called. The peace accord will not go into effect until it is voted on in October. To go through, a minimum of 13 percent of the country’s registered voters, or 4.4 million people, must give it the green light.

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An End to 50 Years of Fighting After more than 50 years of violence, a peace deal has been signed between the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia (FARC), a guer-

rilla group, and the Colombian government. The past half century has seen over 218,000 people killed in the civil conflict, as well as over 5 million people displaced from their homes.

The ceasefire was declared last week by President Juan Manuel Santos. “Today is the beginning of the

end to the suffering, pain and tragedy of war,” Santos said in a televised address. “Let’s open the door together to a new stage in our history.”

The rebel group is hated by many Colombians and is widely known to be heavily involved in Colombia’s cocaine trade. FARC had historically funded their war through kidnap-

The manifesto of the leading political party in the upcoming Dutch elections vows to “ban the Koran” and close down mosques.

The Freedom Party, headed by Geert Wilders, says it will take many measures to reverse the “Islamization” of the country. Those measures include banning immigration from Muslim countries, shutting down asylum seeker centers, and no longer allowing Muslim women to wear headscarves in public.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

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SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home

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The nuclear deal that was struck last year resulted in the United States, the UK, China, France, Germany and Russia lifting sanctions against the Persian regime in return for increased transparency in the Iran nuclear development program.

The deal was widely celebrated in Iran, although some in the Muslim country saw the deal as capitulating to the U.S. and other Western powers.

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The migrant crisis in Europe has led to the increased popularity of many such parties across the continent. While right now the party is predicted to garner 28 of the 150 parliament seats, when the immigration crisis was at its highest point, they were predicted to have as many as 38 of the seats. They right now occupy only 12 of the seats.

The controversial Wilders has become a target due to his anti-Muslim viewpoint. He has received multiple death threats and is currently under 24/7 protection. A jihadist assassination attempt on his life was thwarted late last year.

Wilders has been known for his support of Israel. He has stated in the past that Israel needs defendable borders and supports the Jewish settling of Judea and Samaria.

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Inconclusive reports are coming out of Tehran telling of a man being arrested on suspicion of disclosing economic details of Iran’s nuclear deal.

What is known is that Gholamhosein Mohseni Ejehi, a judiciary spokesman in Iran, said that an unidentified man had been found out to be a “spy who had infiltrated the nuclear team.”

Iranian news agency Tabnak reported last week that Abdolrasoul Dorri Esfahani, a man with dual citizenship who was in charge of the banking aspect of the two-year negotiation, was arrested for “selling the country’s economic details to foreigners.” Mr. Esfahani has thoroughly denied that he was charged or arrested.

Rumors are circulating of British and American spying agencies being involved. Tehran prosecutor Abbas Jafari Dolatabadi said last week that the suspect was “active in the field of the Iranian economy and was linked to the British espionage service.”

Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto graduated from law school in 1991 but his thesis is still making headlines. No, it’s not for any profound realizations or proposed plans for world peace; it’s because PanAmerican University, the school that Peña Nieto attended, has recently acknowledged that parts of the thesis written by Peña Nieto were plagiarized. Peña Nieto supposedly copied text and ideas without properly citing authors.

Despite this shocking and embarrassing revelation, it should be noted that at that time, there weren’t such strict plagiarism rules in effect and therefore Peña Nieto’s credentials are still valid. Although the university was careful not to use the word “plagiarism” in its statement, they admitted that the thesis included “textual reproductions of fragments [of other works] without footnotes or mentions in the bibliography.”

Recently, there has been more awareness about plagiarism and rules have gotten stricter but PanAmerican said, “Our university’s general rules do not apply to ex-students” and that “this is an old case which cannot be subject to any action.”

According to news site Aristegui Noticias, 29% of Peña Nieto’s thesis was material lifted from other works, including 20 paragraphs copied

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

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SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home

word-for-word from a book written by former President Miguel de la Madrid. According to the university, he did give credit to the original authors in some parts of his thesis but in a vague manner.

The president has not made a comment on this matter. Last week a spokesman for Peña Nieto said that the Mexican leader had completed all requirements for his law degree and downplayed the relevance of “style errors” in an academic work done 25 years earlier.

Peña Nieto is not Mexico’s most popular president. According to a poll this month by national newspaper Reforma, his approval rating are at 23%, the lowest rating for any president since the paper began the survey in 1995. Any way he can fudge these numbers?

Polish Soccer Fans Burn Jewish Effigies Apparently, when it’s for sport, it’s OK. A group of soccer fans in Poland set up a rally against their other team

at a train station before the match last Friday. The supporters of team Widzew Lodz were deriding their rival, the LKS Łódź, and began calling them “Jews” in a derogatory manner.

According to a weekend report by the Coordination Forum for Countering Antisemitism, the demonstrators at the rally unfurled a banner printed with the slogan “19.08, today the Jews were named,” in reference to the year ŁKS Łódź was established.

“Let them burn, [expletive],” it added.

The crazed crowd strung up effigies of Orthodox Jews and burned them as well.

Debates have previously erupted over Poland’s attitude toward anti-Semitism over the contentious

practices of some of the country’s soccer fans. But in 2014 a prosecutor in Poznan ruled that chants by soccer fans are not deemed criminal offenses, a decision European Jewish Congress President Moshe Kantor condemned.

“Unfortunately, extreme anti-Semitic chants like those in Poznan are regularly heard in many European stadiums, including in England and Holland, and the reaction of the authorities is minimal,” CNN quoted him as saying.

Unofficial Talks with N. Korea Yield Mixed Results Although the U.S. government and North Korea have publicly been giving each other the silent treatment since Kim Jong Un took office in 2011, in reality the U.S. and N. Korea have been engaging in secret talks.

Former U.S. officials and experts met with top North Korean officials earlier this year to discuss the pos-

sibility of reopening official dialogue regarding N. Korea’s nuclear program. The so called “Track 2 dialogue” meetings have taken place in different countries around the world including Berlin, Singapore and Beijing.

North Korea has visibly increased its nuclear and ballistic missile tests since Kim Jong Un took power. The global community was particularly surprised when they held a successful submarine missile launch last week.

“The main thing they are interested in is replacing the current armistice with a peace treaty. In that

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context, they are willing to talk about denuclearization,” said Joel Wit, a nuclear expert with the U.S.-Korea Institute. “They made it fairly clear that they were willing to discuss their nuclear weapons program, that it would be on the table in the context of the peace treaty.”

Wit claims to have traveled to Berlin in February with other U.S. experts and to have met with North Korea’s foreign minister Ri Yong Ho. He said that the minister made it clear that they are open to recommence negotiations.

Others who attended the meetings are far less optimistic than Wit. Victor Cha, the top Asia official at the National Security Council during the George W. Bush administration, came away from the discussions skeptical that any negotiations would actually take place. “They don’t seem like they are speaking in a leaning-forward quasi-official capacity,” Cha said. “They seem to be just spouting talking points.”

In response to Kim’s continued nuclear testing, the U.S. has dramatically stepped up its sanctions.

Let’s hope for a peaceful dialogue to open soon because according to the Institute for Science and International Security, the North Korean threat is very real. The institute estimates that the dictatorship currently has enough material for 12 or more bombs, and may have enough for as many as 79 in the next four years.

Jewish Students Harassed by Nazi Garbed Students Remember when your mother told you that a joke is only a joke if both sides are laughing? She’s right.

When students from a Jewish school were attacked by a gang of kids from a German school donning Nazi attire, only one side was laughing.

The students and parents were participating in an end of the year trip to San Carlos de Bariloche last week when the incident occurred.

The German students from the Lanús German School in Buenos Aires were wearing swastika armbands and fake Hitler moustaches when they arrived at a party. According to one of students attacked, “Some of them were in leathers with swastikas painted on their chests and backs. We wanted them to be thrown out of the club.”

However, bouncers at the event refused to ask the offensively dressed group to leave and a fight broke out.

During the scuffle, the German students yelled derogatory comments about Jews.

Eventually, the boys dressed as Nazis were removed from the site.

The anti-Semitic episode was not taken lightly by the Jewish children and their parents although Silvia Fazio, the principal of Lanus German School, apologized, saying the incident was “absolutely indefensible.” She promised, “They will have to make some act of atonement for the damage caused.” Fazio mentioned that the trip was organized privately and was not a school affair. She accused the parents of the children and the staff at the party for not making the proper choices in containing the situation.

“There is much to reflect on,” Fazio added. The students involved were forced to visit Buenos Aires’s Holocaust museum alongside students from the Jewish school in order to begin building awareness about the events of WWII. Ariel Cohen Sabban, president of the Argentinian Delegation of Israelite Associations, said: “We think the real root of the problem is in what goes on at the institution these boys attend, because these kind of attitudes must be prevented by educational means. This is not a joke or a laugh. These symbols reflect an ideology that culminated in the Nazis’ assassination of six million Jews.”

The historical town in which the incident occurred was home to Nazi war criminals after WWII. Auschwitz’s “Angel of Death” Dr. Josef Mengele resided there until he fled to evade arrest. The town was a haven for fleeing Nazis who were sheltered by the sympathetic Peronist regime.

Israel, the Land of Spyware?

Looking for a spy? Well, according to author Daniel Silva and many others, you should probably head towards Israel. Now it seems that Israel may not just be the leading country

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

in men and women in trench coats with disappearing ink. Recently, Israel’s secretive surveillance industry, considered to be one of the most advanced in the world, has been put in the spotlight with the discovery of sophisticated spyware.

Kids on Cellphones a Pedestrian Hazard

`crenc `xtey

Please read this before sending your kids back to school this week.

Researchers at Ben-Gurion University have discovered that – shocking!

– children are more easily distracted when crossing the street on a cellphone than adults.

The Negev-based university used the BGU Virtual Environment Simulation Laboratory, which enables the researchers to mimic actual traffic scenarios and measure the participant’s response. The simulator is a 180 spherical screen that uses lifelike projections to fully encapsulate the participant in the experience.

After being placed in “traffic,” 14 adults and 38 children were given cell phones and had conversations of various levels of intensity, with a range of concentration requirements. Subjects were then told to press a button when they felt it was safe to cross the street and their eyes were measured for alertness and how they reacted to the surrounding busy street environment.

“The results showed that while all age groups’ crossing behaviors were affected by cell phone conversations, children were more susceptible to distraction,” said Prof Tal Oron-Gilad, head of the Department of Industrial Engineering at BGU. In more demanding environments, children made worse decisions. The most notable difference between children and adults was making safe crossing decisions. As age went up, larger – more safe – distances were left between oncoming cars and the pedestrian when they were crossing the street.

“Over a third of the road traffic deaths in low- and middle-income countries are among pedestrians.

This high level of involvement is particularly meaningful for child pedestrians as the proportion of

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Last week it was said that a prominent Emirati rights activist was targeted by “Pegasus” spyware, and Apple rushed to put out a security update last week. The authors of “Pegasus”?

Israeli firm NSO Group based in Herzliya, which is now owned by a U.S. private equity firm.

The company is among some 27 surveillance firms headquartered in Israel, according to a recent report from British NGO Privacy International—putting the country of eight million people at the top of the list of such companies per capita. According to Privacy International, Israel has 0.33 such firms per 100,000 people, while the United States has 0.04.

Supposedly, this type of technology is meant to fight crime and terrorism through legal means. Israel’s Defense Ministry must also approve exports of sensitive security products.

The spyware that threatened Emirati activist Ahmed Mansoor was rare and powerful. His phone “would have become a digital spy in his pocket, capable of employing his iPhone’s camera and microphone to snoop on activity in the vicinity of the device, recording his WhatsApp and Viber calls, logging messages sent in mobile chat apps, and tracking his movements,” a security firm said. Mansoor would have just needed to click on a link for information on detainees tortured in the United Arab Emirates that was sent to him via text message.

Mansoor had been targeted before and was suspicious, though. He sent the message to Citizen Lab instead.

Companies with Israeli roots have provided technology to monitor Internet and phone communication to secret police in Uzbekistan and Kazakhstan as well as Colombian security forces, according to Privacy International. They have also reportedly exported to Trinidad and Tobago, Uganda, Panama and Mexico.

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SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home

child pedestrian fatalities is significantly high relative to adults,” said Oron-Gilad.

Remember to look both ways before you cross. And perhaps you should leave the cell phones to the adults.

IsraAID Rushes to Help Italian Quake Victims

A team of 20 Israeli volunteers were in Italy within 24 hours of the devastating earthquake that occurred on August 24. Their recovery effort has included providing temporary shelter for hundreds of victims

that have been left homeless, distributing food, and providing grief counseling.

IsraAID, which is not affiliated with the Israeli government, often sends aid to disaster-struck countries. The 6.2 magnitude earthquake, which left almost 300 people dead and thousands more injured and homeless, spurred a quick launch of the impressive group’s response. Israel did offer to send military search and rescue teams after the quake, but Rome did not take the IDF up on the offer.

In a statement, IsraAID team member Mickey Noam Alon told the story of Gabriele Gabiza, an 82-year-old man from the town of Scai whose house was destroyed.

“Like hundreds of others, Gabiza was left stranded in the middle of the night, without shelter or a safe roof over his head,” said Alon. “After hours of wandering through what remained of the streets, Gabiza headed to one of the community shelters that was erected within 24 hours of the quake. When I met him, he was clearly exhausted, shocked and confused…. Immediately an IsraAID team member helped him to find a place to sit, offered him a

warm blanket and some water,” Alon said.

Thousands of people are unable to return to their homes as there have been over 1,800 aftershocks rattling the region since the quake.

The temporary community shelter set up by IsraAID is already housing over 80 residents.

Arms Dealer in Bnei Brak?

A man from Bnei Brak will be extradited to the United States on charges that he sold weapons to Iran.

Arye Eliyahu “Eli” Cohen, 66, was taken into custody at Ben Gurion Airport in May 2014 as he was attempting to flee the country. He was found guilty in a Connecticut court for illegally exporting military equipment out of the United States

to Iran, including spare parts for F-4 and F-14 combat planes. He had been sending the parts from the U.S. to Israel and had them sent to Iran via Greece.

After filing an appeal against a Jerusalem District Court ruling that Cohen be sent back to the U.S. to face charges, the Israeli Supreme Court has upheld the decision and he will be extradited. The crime of selling weapons to Iran comes with a heavy punishment; if convicted, Cohen may be facing 20 years in prison and a $1 million fine.

The Supreme Court’s statement said that Cohen must be sent to the U.S. “in order to stand trial for the commission of federal offenses of trading military spare parts with Iran.” The statement continued to outline Cohen’s offenses and reiterated that when the laws of both countries have been broken, extradition requests are honored.

BDS Loses Fight in the Skies The Boycott, Divestment, and Sanctions Movement lost another

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SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home

The airline released a new statement in which they said that “it is clear that Achva remains one of our reliable suppliers … and therefore we will continue to accept Achva’s products onboard our flights, especially given its positive role in the community.”

Clean Clothes, Higher Grades

customer this week. Brussels Airlines, based out of Belgium, stopped buying products of the Achva food company which is located in the Shomron. The airline had been serving halva bars as part of its snack options until a pro-Palestinian Arab organization leaned on the company to embrace the hate of BDS. The airline sent a letter to the Is-

raeli ambassador to Brussels telling them of their decision. “As a flight company which services an international community of people with different cultures and backgrounds,” the letter read, “we are responsible to offer products which please everyone, and therefore we decided to switch out the dessert.”

In response, Minister of Tour-

ism Yariv Levin threatened that “a company such as this has no place in the skies of the State of Israel, and its name should be taken off the flights board of Ben Gurion Airport.”

The Israeli Foreign Ministry, led by Dore Gold, was able to make the case for Achva and Brussels Airlines reversed their position.

The solution to proper education for low income families? Washing machines.

Dr. Melody Gunn was the one who found out that dirty clothes can be a deterrent to learning. Gunn is the former principal of Gibson Elementary in St. Louis and she couldn’t figure out why student attendance was on the low side. The students were given free or reduced lunches and the school facilitated transportation.

Speaking with parents, Gunn heard that clean clothes are not a priority on their lists. Food and rent, obviously, take center stage, and for those of them who had access to washing machines, they didn’t always have the cash for detergent or even working electricity. Their children too were losing out. Many children would stay home from school if they didn’t have clean clothes out of embarrassment.

Armed with this information, Gunn reached out to Whirlpool, which then donated a washer and dryer to her school. She invited stu-

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

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SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home

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dents who had missed more than 10 days of school to bring in their clothes for laundering. Whirlpool later gave 16 more schools in districts in St. Louis and Fairfield, California, washers and dryers through a new program.

“After just one month, we saw an impact,” Gunn relates. The more long-term results of the program have actually been remarkable.

The first year saw over 90 percent of tracked students increase their attendance, with those most in need of the service averaging an increase of almost 2 weeks. Teachers said that 95 percent of participants showed more motivation in class and were more apt to participate in extra-curricular activities.

As much as this sounds enlightening and exciting, with the United States confronting more profound problems clean clothing may seem like a band aid on a festering wound.

But Gunn says that as a public educator, she’s simply looking to serve her public’s needs and provide a model for other communities to emulate.

“What’s around me is what I can control,” she explains. “This is our responsibility. It’s a need. It’s not a want.”

Whirlpool says it will expand the program next year to at least 20 additional schools, including one in Baltimore and one in Nashville. Over 300 schools have expressed interest in the program.

Back-to-School Spending … and More Spending

With school around the corner, parents are clamoring for last minute school supplies. If you’re a smart and savvy shopper you already purchased all the 3 subject notebooks necessary in July when they were still neatly stacked in Target, with all the color and pattern options available. You also got a better deal; retailers offered bigger promotions earlier in the shopping season this year. Accord-

ing to numbers, this year there was a boost in sales for the week of July 11, a full week earlier than last year, according to data released recently

by Google. But if you’re not hyper-organized, and like the general public your list is still miles long, you are approaching a week of errands.

Financial experts are expecting the back-to-school rush to help boost weak second quarter numbers. Aside from holiday time, the back-to-school season is the busiest shopping period of the year. There are great deals available on everything from pencils to backpacks in stores like Dollar Tree that sells notebooks, glue sticks, and tape for $1. But for the more indulgent pupils there are some pretty pricey supplies and accessories available. For example, fashion brand Kate Spade produced a line of school supplies that includes gold-accented staplers, monogrammed planners, and $30 ballpoint pens. Talk about spoiled kids.

Parents are projected to spend about $40 more this year than last year. For this year an average of $673.57 on electronics, clothes and notebooks is expected, compared to $630.36 last year, according to the National Retail Federation. An expected spending of $27.1 billion is anticipated this year from parents of kindergarten through 12th grade students. Why do the kids need 50 pencils to start the year?

Supply lists include thousands of different items including USB flash drives, graphing calculators, pocket dictionaries, and three hole punchers. The most popular item for students is uniforms.

“Our people said that whether it’s Burlington or Target or J. C. Penney or Sears, the uniform section was the hottest part of the competitive space for back to school,” said Craig Johnson, the president of Customer Growth Partners, a retail consulting group. “About twice as many stores this year as last are doing specials on uniforms.”

For many parents this season is a financial struggle. In 2007, about nine million public school students came from low-income households, according to the Department of Education’s National Center for Education Statistics. In 2014, there were more than 11 million. For many of these families, school supplies are simply unaffordable; some are lucky enough to have support from nonprofit or community organizations but for many they need to scramble for the best deal. Experts say that

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The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

A Life of Happiness

Not many people have the luxury of choosing a place to live. Generally people are pulled to a specific location based on career, schooling, or family. But if you ever find yourself in a position to choose any city in the U.S. to call home, consider the Best Places to Live list by U.S. News.

In order to determine the Best Places to Live in the U.S. for 2016, authors surveyed people across the country regarding the factors that they consider most when choosing a place to live including crime rates, quality and availability of health care, quality of education, well-being, and average morning commute time. All these aspects add up to a higher quality of life.

So where should you live if you want to enjoy your life? For the highest quality of life, consider McAllen, Texas. It was the best overall place to live with low real estate – the average house costs about $115,100 – and the average commute to work is just 21.8 minutes. Just north of the Mexican border, McAllen boasts a high-ranking school system with students well-prepared for higher education.

Texas appeared on the top 20 highest quality of life two more times New York also made an appearance three times, but California beat out all 50 states by appearing on the highest quality of life rankings a to-

Gitmo: Millions per Prisoner

President Barack Obama has been making moves to close Guantanamo Bay for good since he took office. The prison population has been consistently decreasing as prisoners are being transferred; just last week 15 detainees were sent to the United Arab Emirates. Yet, the cost per person at the Cuban detention center has skyrocketed. Currently it costs around six million tax dollars per inmate, according to an analysis of Defense Department figures.

“The ballooning waste of taxpayer dollars to imprison people without charge or trial is one of the many good reasons why Guantanamo should be closed,” asserted Hina Shamsi, director of the National Security Project at the American Civil Liberties Union.

Previously there were 114 inmates at the site costing the U.S. about $445 million, which is about $3.9 million per head, according to a U.S. Defense Department report. At its current population there is a savings

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of about $90 million, but the annual cost per inmate increased to $5.8 million. In contrast, the average cost of incarceration for a maximum-security federal inmate was $33,007 in 2015, according to the U.S. Bureau of Prisons. The annual cost of holding someone in a “Supermax” penitentiary is $86,374, according to a 2015 article by U.S. Senator Dianne Feinstein, a California Democrat.

So why are we keeping Gitmo open if it’s costing us millions? Those opposed to its closure, including many Republicans, continue to postulate that “a large majority of the remaining prisoners have been deemed ‘too dangerous for transfer,’ and the administration has failed to provide a specific plan for safely housing these terrorists anywhere else, not to mention the serious national security risk this transfer would pose,” Sen. Pat Roberts of Kansas said. Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, the mastermind of the Sept. 11 attacks, is one of the 61 remaining prisoners. Do we want him on the loose?

“The president is still aiming to close the prison at Guantanamo Bay by the end of his term,” White House press secretary Josh Earnest reiterated on Monday.

Closing Guantanamo has been Obama’s mission since his senator days. He feels it defames the country’s global reputation and undermines national security by serving as a recruiting tool for terrorist groups.

During George W. Bush’s war against terrorism, when many controversial interrogation tactics were used, prisoners were sent there. Over the years human rights advocates have criticized conditions at the prison.

Obama attempted to transfer prisoners to American soil early in his first term but was blocked by Congress.

There was fear that the criminals could potentially escape and that a central prison could become a magnet for retaliatory attacks. Some of the detainees are considered too dangerous to transfer to other countries.

A major expense of running Guantanamo Bay is the cost of flights between the United States for attorneys, witnesses, observers and family members for military commissions. It’s also expensive to have military troops and contractors guarding and operating the facility, plus the logistics of maintaining a detention facility on a remote section of a foreign island. If the remaining terrorists would be transported, the

cost of housing the detainees would still be high, way higher than the cost of a person at a federal prison, since they would require more intense security and surveillance and facilities for handling classified information.

It is estimated that the government would save only $65 million to $85 million per year with a domestic prison. The cost would fall out to be about $1.1 million to $1.4 million per prisoner. But would that be costing us our freedom?

From Rags to Riches

Wanda Witter, 80, got the bailout of a lifetime last week. Witter has been homeless for almost two decades and during that time she’s been engaged in a nasty fight with the Social Security

Administration.

Back in 1996, Witter, a trained paralegal, moved to Washington, D.C. Things didn’t go exactly as planned and she found herself without work and subsequently homeless. Soon she became eligible for Social Security but upon receiving the checks she disputed the amounts, claiming they were incorrect. Upon approaching the Social Security office she says she was constantly given excuses and pushed off. Eventually, because she was unable to provide a fixed address, the checks stopped coming.

Witter made the sidewalk at 13th and G Streets NW in D.C. her “home.”

She slept there for years next to three briefcases containing her Social Security documents and research. Recently, she met with social worker Julie Turner who took on her case. Turner helped the elderly woman contact attorney Daniela de la Piedra, who handles many Social Security disputes for the Legal Counsel for the Elderly.

Together they were able to retrieve the $100,000 owed to Witter by the federal government.

“On Friday [August] 19th, the check for $99,999 was deposited into her bank account,” Ms. Piedrea confirmed.

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“I know I’m entitled to this,” Witter said.

Witter is currently settling down in her new apartment. She described her air mattress as “luxurious.” She plans to get some long-awaited dental work done. She wants to be able to smile “without looking like an old hag.”

“I can’t imagine how to handle $100,000. I have never had that kind of money in my life,” she said.

Her lawyer related that Witter is still owed more money and that it will come. The $99,999 payment was the most that Social Security could make as a lump sum without an extended approval process.

Stealing the Mail In recent years the United States Postal Service has complained of decreasing mail due to technology.

Remember when we used to actually send our children a postcard in camp instead of an email? To the USPS

In an episode out of Seinfeld – helllllo Newman! – postal workers in Southern California were accused of stealing mail. Federal authorities have charged 33 defendants in 28 cases involving mail theft and embezzlement. Arrest warrants were issued for six of the defendants.

One USPS employee, Sherry Naomi Watanabe, 48, was caught with tens of thousands of pieces of mail in her possession, according to a statement released on Friday by the United States attorney’s office for the Central District of California. The mail was recovered at her home and was intended to be delivered along her route in nearby Placentia.

“The mail system plays an important role in our country’s commerce and social communication.

Maintaining its integrity is vital,” United States Attorney Eileen M. Decker said in a statement. “Mail theft across Southern California has increased recently, which is significant since this type of crime tends to be a precursor to other crimes like identity theft and drug offenses. As a result, we are stepping up enforcement.”

Nicole Elwood, 45, was accused of pocketing medications sent by the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs to veterans. Justin Brewster, 25, who served as a mail processing clerk, was charged with stealing video games that were mailed to or from the video game rental service Gamefly. Another USPS employee, Michael Smith, 43, allegedly took money orders from a mail envelope. Prosecutors are claiming Jarol Garcia, 33, stole at least 166 mobile phones from parcels as they went through the Moreno Valley Delivery Distribution Center.

All defendants included in the sweep are set to be arraigned in the U.S. District Court in Los Angeles, Santa

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

Ana and Riverside.

“The overwhelming majority of Postal Service employees are honest and dedicated public servants who are worthy of our trust,” said Brian Washington, special agent in charge of the Postal Service’s Office of Inspector General. “However, when employees engage in criminal activity, our agency will aggressively investigate these matters to protect the overall integrity of the Postal Service.”

Better opt in for that shipping insurance, just in case…

10,000 Syrian Refugees Call U.S. Home Much to Donald Trump’s dismay, the U.S. welcomed its 10,000th Syrian refugee on Monday afternoon. President Obama celebrated the number as an achievement – this had been a goal of his administration. Many are waiting to see if the president will attempt to welcome another 30,000 Syrians who are waiting to be allowed in before his final days in the White House.

Human rights advocates applauded this milestone saying that it is a positive start and that they are hoping that Obama continues to give clearance to the refugees. However, Congressional critics suspect that the administration cut corners to boost numbers. In October 2015 there were fewer than 200 refugees being welcomed each month. For the months of June, July, and August they are claiming that more than 2,000 Syrians reached U.S. soil. At that rate, by the end of the fiscal year Sept. 30, 12,000 Syrian refugees will call America home.

“I think the president would like to see a ramping-up of those efforts.

But I think the president’s also realistic about how quickly that can happen,” Josh Earnest, Mr. Obama’s press secretary, told reporters on Monday as the White House danced a victory dance. The 10,000 Syrians are just a

small part of an overall population of 85,000 refugees the administration wants to resettle this year.

For those refugees who entered the U.S. this fiscal year, Michigan was their top destination. 1,036 refugees headed there. 1,030 made California their new home. Arizona, Texas, Pennsylvania, Illinois, Florida and New York were the next most popular destinations. Several states have not taken in any Syrian refugees. Those include Alabama, Alaska, Arkansas, Delaware, Hawaii, Mississippi, South Dakota, Vermont and Wyoming.

The EpiPen Uproar

For children with severe allergies, an EpiPen can literally save their life.

No parent can put an actual price

tag on their child’s life, leaving the distributors of the life-saving device with a lot of power. An EpiPen is an injector that administers a dose of epinephrine to reverse severe allergic reactions. Every parent with a child with severe allergies understands the urgency of a reaction and has an EpiPen handy at all times. School nurses are also always stocked with the drug.

In recent years, the price of EpiPens surged more than 500% and currently costs about $600. Not every health insurance plan covers the cost of an EpiPen. The rise in price was gradual, though. Initially Mylan, the manufacturer, increased the price in increments of about 10% percent about every six months or so. This year they imposed a 15% increase, making the price simply outrageous.

Recently, Mellini Kantayya, an actress from Brooklyn whose husband needs an EpiPen, decided to rally for a change. She went online to Petition2Congress.com, a service that collects signatures and then sends them to designated lawmakers, and created the petition “Stop the EpiPen Price Gouging.” The petition went live on July 11 and just 45 days later it had accumulated over

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and patient assistance programs.

This situation is unusual in that it was all initiated and protested via social media. Traditional advocacy groups, who are generally vocal about these types of issues, had not gotten involved. Food Allergy Research & Education (FARE); the Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America (AAFA); and Allergy & Asthma Network all kept silent. There is speculation that the committees and Mylan were working together. Mylan, in its 2015 Social Responsibility report, lists all three groups as “allies.”

This week, Mylan announced on Monday that it will offer a generic version on its EpiPen for half the price. The generic version of EpiPen “will be identical to the branded product, including device functionality and drug formulation,” Mylan said in a statement. Now families will have a choice: a two-pack generic version of EpiPen for around $300 or an EpiPen with a $300 discount for certain families.

“It’s highly unusual for a generic product to come out in this way,” Marianne Udow-Phillips, director of the Center for Healthcare Research & Transformation at the University of Michigan, said Monday. “It clearly

70,000 signatures. Those 70K people sent more than 100,000 letters to Congress demanding regulation and forcing pharmaceutical companies to lower prices.

Social media generated a lot of attention for the cause; many advocates shared the link to the petition and it was viewed and reposted many times. Soon parents from around the country began posting receipts showing how much they were paying for EpiPens. When one user coined the hashtag #EpiGate, it really began to stick. Sure enough, with enough negative publicity out there, the pharmaceutical company that manufactures EpiPens was under fire. Even Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton weighed in and condemned the price fixing.

Eventually Senator Amy Klobuchar, Democrat of Minnesota, who has a child with allergies, demanded a Judiciary Committee inquiry into the pricing and an investigation by the Federal Trade Commission.

The pharmaceutical company Mylan makes the EpiPen and its CEO Heather Bresch is at the center of this widespread outrage. After lots of media attention and pressure from politicians, Bresch announced that the company plans to increase its coupon

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shows how much pressure Mylan was under. It’s still a huge profit margin for them.”

Gene Wilder Dies at 83

Thousands of children will recognize his face and his antics from “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.” Gene Wilder was 83 when he passed away on Monday. The comedian and star was suffering from Alzheimer’s disease for the past few years but never disclosed it to the public. “The decision to wait until this time to disclose his condition wasn’t vanity, but more so that the countless young children that would smile or call out to him ‘there’s Willy Wonka,’ would not have to be then

exposed to an adult referencing illness or trouble and causing... to worry, disappointment or confusion,” his nephew said. “He simply couldn’t bear the idea of one less smile in the world.”

Wilder originally started his career on stage and then graduated into TV and movie roles. He was well-known for his stints in “The Producers,” “Blazing Saddles,” and “Young Frankenstein.” Wilder scored an Oscar nomination for best supporting actor in 1969 for “The Producers.” Mel Brooks and Wilder were nominated for an Oscar for best adapted screenplay in 1975 for “Young Frankenstein.”

Wilder was born Jerome Silberman in Milwaukee on June 11, 1933 to a loving Jewish family. In 2005 he recalled, “I’m not at all religious, although I am certainly Jewish — which, to me, means that my parents hugged and kissed me a lot as I was growing up.” When he was eight-years-old, his mother suffered her first heart attack. The doctor admonished him, “Don’t ever argue with your mother – you might kill her.” Instead, he was advised to make her laugh. And that’s just what he did, for her and all of America.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

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What is The Clinton Foundation?

By electing to run for president of the United States, Hillary Clin-

ton signed up to be in the spotlight.

As the skeletons continue to emerge from deep in the closet, there has been much speculation as to the exact nature of The Clinton Foundation.

The Clinton Foundation, founded in 1997 during Bill Clinton’s presidency, is a nonprofit corporation that was

established to “strengthen the capacity of people in the United States and throughout the world to meet the challenges of global interdependence.”

Despite their mission statement, many are left wondering what exactly are the foundation’s daily tasks.

“It is impossible to figure out where the Clinton Foundation ends and the State Department begins,” Republican nominee Donald Trump said at a rally in Austin, Texas, last Tuesday night. “It is now abundantly clear that the Clintons set up a business to profit from public office. They sold access and specific actions by, and really for, I guess, the making of large amounts of money.”

The Clinton campaign was quick to rebut the claims of any questionable actions. They reminded the public that Hillary did not serve on the foundation’s board while Secretary of State and since she decided to run for president in spring 2015 she had resigned her seat on the board.

Many are concerned that Hillary’s questionable relationship will continue to blossom raising the concern of heavy conflict of interest should Hillary Clinton win the election. Bill Clinton, who has been extremely supportive throughout Hillary’s campaign, wrote an email to his supporters and members of the foundation on Monday and pledged, “If she is elected, we will immediately implement the following changes: The Foundation will accept contributions only from U.S. citizens, permanent residents, and U.S.-based independent foundations, whose names we will continue to make public on a

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The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

quarterly basis. And we will change the official name from the Bill, Hillary & Chelsea Clinton Foundation to the Clinton Foundation. While I will continue to support the work of the Foundation, I will step down from the Board and will no longer raise funds for it.”

The foundation is made up of 11 non-profit groups that work on four major issues: global health and wellness, climate change, economic development and improving opportunities for girls and women. According to its website, it has raised $313 million for research and development into new vaccines and medicines and provided treatment to 36 million people suffering from tropical diseases. The foundation also works in collaboration with the American Heart Association (forming the Alliance for a Healthier Generation), which has made healthier meals available to students in 31,000 schools across America.

Get Moving

Rolling in the Deep

Plumbers have to wade through all sorts of muck. We call them when our toilets are stuffed, when our sinks are backed up, and when there’s sewage in the basement. But this plumber gets the “get your hands dirty” award.

Jimmie Cox was so determined to fix a burst pipe in a Texas home that he dove into muddy water headfirst.

The astonished homeowner took a photo of Cox submerged in the mud and the picture went viral.

Cox, though, is pretty nonchalant about the hype. “You basically start holding your breath and if stuff starts going up your nose that is too bad,” Cox said.

Cox, who works for a local water utility company, isn’t just getting accolades for his heroic effort to fix a leak. The Wrangler jeans company has sent him a year’s supply of pants, just like the ones Cox is seen wearing the photo.

Perhaps they should have sent him swim shorts.

The Secret Pearl Hey couch potato! Get up and move a bit. Last week, in an effort to get British TV-watchers moving a bit more, one of Britain’s leading broadcasters blacked out its programming for an hour in the hopes of spurring viewers to get some exercise on Saturday morning. An added bonus: sports clubs were opened for free over the weekend as part of a national event called “I am Team GB.” Many jumped at the opportunity to force themselves off their couches. Others preferred to wallow in their passivity, sitting in front of a blank screen until the programming restarted.

I can understand why they didn’t want to move. What fun is the gym if you can’t watch Fox News on mute?

and he had to swim down to dislodge it. Now, the man has handed the pearl over to the local tourism office, which has put it on display in the atrium of the New Green City Hall in Puerto Princesa.

If it is found to be real, the pearl is significantly larger than the current record-holder, which was also from Palawan. A local diver from Brooke’s Point in Palawan recovered what is now known as the Pearl of Lao Tzu, weighing 6.4kg, in 1939. In 2003 it was valued at $93 million by Michael “Buzz” Steenrod, a gemologist based in Colorado Springs.

Sounds like a gem of a find.

A Slice of Kindness When Hannah Spooner got the call, she was ecstatic. But then she remembered her waistline and decided to help the needy instead.

Hannah, 19, was told by the local pizzeria that she won $500 worth of free pizza for a year. Instead of dreaming of cook-free dinners and slices oozing with cheese, she decided

F R O M

to give back to the youth in her neighborhood.

“I just lost a lot of weight, I wasn’t trying to eat a lot of pizza,” she joked.

Hannah decided to call the non-profits in her area, Detroit, and then settled on a homeless shelter for youth.

“I could tell it would actually make a difference,” Hannah said. “I would actually see people who benefitted from it. They were really sweet, warm and welcoming.”

Though the shelter serves three meals a day, the pizza will really be enjoyed by those who partake in the meals.

That’s what I call a slice of nice.

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It’s around 1-foot wide, 2.2-feet long and weighs around 75 pounds.

But its existence was hardly known, except to a Filipino fisherman who kept in under his bed as a good luck charm. The enormous pearl may be the largest in the world and is confirmed to have formed inside a giant clam. It’s likely to be valued around $100 million.

The fisherman found the pearl while fishing around a decade ago. His boat’s anchor caught on the giant clam

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SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home

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The Boss is In – But You’re Not

It was slightly awkward and majorly embarrassing when the ruler of Dubai entered a civil service office to find that none of the nine employees showed up for work that day. The sheik began his visit at 7:30am, something he is known to do from time to time – making the employees’ tardiness all the more damning.

Sheik Mohammed visited several government departments on Sunday morning – a normal working day in United Arab Emirates – and found several unoccupied desks that should have been populated by senior officers. He did recognize one person, though. There was a portrait of himself on the wall as he walked through the empty offices and flipped through a book on one of the desks. The video of the MIA workers was tweeted out by the government.

Subsequently, the nine officers were ordered to retire by their leader.

The sheik thanked the workers for retiring and said that the decision “reflects Shaikh Mohammad’s keenness to allow a new generation of young leaders to shoulder the responsibility of development in the next period.”

Seems like it’s Undercover Boss, Dubai-style.

cuddle a rabbit as you nibble on your Danish? If you live in Hong Kong, then you can head over to Rabbitland where patrons can enjoy drinks and snacks and pet 12 rescued rabbits.

Cat cafes have become popular in Hong Kong and it’s just normal that rabbits will be the next pet to join

people on their snack breaks.

The founders of Rabbitland say that they want to teach kids about how much work goes into having a bunny as a pet. He wants parents to bring in their children who can play with the rabbits and then learn about how to take care of them.

Do as I Say, Not as I Do Page 78

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

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SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home

INTRODUCING...

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The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

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CIMBY is a fresh initiative spearheaded by the Achiezer team encouraging individuals to engage in acts of kindness right in our own community. Born from the combination of Achiezer’s commitment to providing life-changing chesed services and the tremendous support from passionate volunteers teaming up for the greater good, CIMBY is a dynamic opportunity to be a part of our community of dedicated chesed-enthusiasts and provide for those in need.

JOIN HUNDREDS OF FELLOW VOLUNTEERS AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE. As we approach the Yomim Noraim, it is important to recognize the true power of kindness. It is a time to commit to give a little more and go the extra mile on behalf of another Jew. Utilizing Achiezer’s many chesed programs provides endless opportunities to spread kindness throughout the community.

OPPORTUNITIES TO HELP

Cook and prepare Shabbos packages for those forced to spend Shabbos in the hospital.

IN THE SPIRIT OF YOM TOV Blow shofar or read megilla for those who cannot make it to a shul, helping them be mikayim the mitzvah.

THANKS FOR THE LIFT Join our Meals ‘n More delivery team and deliver packages to numerous hospitals each Friday.

Become a driver for those in need of transportation, such as taking an elderly person to the supermarket or driving a mother and her child to a doctor’s appointment.

PROFESSIONAL WORKFORCE Provide legal, accounting, plumbing and electrical expertise for those in need.

Join our budgeting team that assists struggling families manage their money. Utilize your expertise to help those who are struggling financially create a budget, alleviating much stress from their lives.

Join our on-call volunteer list. Whether it’s visiting the homebound, staying with a hospitalized community member or watching children whose parents had to rush to the hospital, your committed time is invaluable.

RESPITE FOR THE MOURNING Help conduct a burial for a Meis Mitzvah, properly sanctifying the body and neshama.

Join a group of volunteers to be on call in case a local Shiva house needs a minyan.

HOSPITAL HAVEN Maintain, stock and take inventory at our network of hospital respite rooms around the community. Our many respite rooms serve as an oasis for patients and their families to relax amidst the daily worry and sorrow of life darkened by illness.

ICE HELPERS Join a group of volunteers on call to clear snow for the elderly and those with disabilities in the neighborhood, providing safe access to steps, sidewalks and driveways.

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SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Around the

Community

S

enator Todd Kaminsky has collected and delivered backpacks full of school supplies to local schools across the 9th Senate District. Kaminsky has been accepting school supply donations from the

community as part of his annual Back to School Supply Drive.

The backpacks contained school essentials, including notebooks, binders, folders, pens, pencils and crayons.

Donations were generously provided by the Supplies for Success Program of UJA Federation, and Rapid Mo-

tion Technology of Woodmere graciously assisted in the transportation of the donations.

“Too many of our students start the school year off without the necessary supplies to be successful,” said Kaminsky. “This is a small gesture that will make a huge impact and help students in our community

achieve their full potential.”

“We are so pleased to provide these backpacks filled with school supplies to help level the playing field for students in need,” said Mindy Richenstein, chair of Supplies for Success Program of UJA Federation, which donated over 280 backpacks. “Our hope is that this will lessen the financial

burden of families as their children start the school year.”

School supply donations will be accepted until September 8, and can be dropped off at Senator Kaminsky’s district office, located at 55 Front Street, Rockville Centre, NY.

Senator Kaminsky with Jane Bienenfeld, Associate Director of the Long Island UJA-Federation, and young volunteers

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

41

Around the Community

Yeshiva Ateres Shmuel of Waterbury Parlor Meeting

Rav Dovid Feinstein Shlita, Rosh Yeshiva of Mesivta Tiferes Yerushalayim, shopping at Aron’s Kissena Farms in Queens

Y

eshiva Ateres Shmuel of Waterbury held a parlor meeting on Monday night, August 29 In Cedarhurst.

The event was hosted was Uppercrust by Adam Kay & Pinky Friedman. Introductory remarks were given by Mr. Adam Kay who then introduced the Rosh Hayeshiva Rab-

bi Aron Kaufman who delivered an amazing insight from the Vilna Gaon in chinuch le’na’ar al pi darco and announced the new high school campus building campaign.

For further information on this remarkable makom Torah please email office@yasw.org or go to www. waterburyyeshiva.org.

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SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

Avigdor’s Helping Hand Reaching Out to Those in Need

By Susie Garber

“H

ashem protects strangers, orphan, and widow…” (Psalm 146)

Queens is blessed with many wonderful chesed organizations.

There is one unique organization that brings succor to families who have lost a breadwinner and also helps orphans or geirim to make a wedding and that organization is Avigdor’s Helping Hand. This organization reaches out to Jews in our community and all over the United States. If a family loses the father or mother, aside from the tremendous emotional pain, there are often financial difficulties. Even when there is life insurance it may not kick in until 6 months to a year later due to red tape. Avigdor’s Helping Hand steps in and helps the family with their financial obligations during that first year for the first six months.

Amazingly, over the past 11 years

since its inception, this organization has raised $4.9 million for bereaved families. It has helped 220 families and made 680 weddings for orphans and geirim. All of this was accomplished with zero overhead. AHH does not pay rent, salaries, or expenses. It operates with the help of 30 volunteers. AHH consists of 30 volunteers from all over New York including the West side of Manhattan, Borough Park, Flatbush, Queens, the Five Towns and Miami.

Mr. Eli Glaser said, “It’s amazing all the work these volunteers do.”

Volunteers vet cases that are referred to AHH. Every bereaved family needs two letters from rabbanim in their neighborhood. All information is verified by speaking with the family’s rabbi. “I feel a responsibility to the tzibur who are trusting us with their holy tzedaka money to make sure it goes into the right hands. We do due diligence,” Mr. Glaser imparted.

Some volunteers deal with credit card deposits. Some deal with writing checks for families. Mr. Michael Elias, a friend of Avigdor’s, created the website for AHH and crafts the flyers and advertising.

What a zechus it is for his son Avigdor, a”h, who was niftar in September of 2005. Avigdor’s Helping Hand was started by his friends and family as a way to carry on his name and as a zechus for his neshama. The idea of the organization was born when at that time another bereaved family needed help with necessities. They saw a niche and decided this was an ideal way to keep Avigdor Glaser’s memory alive.

The opening dinner (barbeque) took place on Labor Day of 2006, at the White Shul in Far Rockaway.

“The turn-out was beyond our expectations,” states Mr. Glaser. “So we opened a division to make weddings for orphans and geirim. Today we are one of the largest foundation that helps make chasunahs for yesomim and also assists almanos.”

Avigdor’s Helping Hand is based out of Kew Gardens Hills, Queens, and the Five Towns. Mr. Glaser stated, “We help every Yid from anywhere in America who comes for help.”

In 2007, David and Bilhah Moradi of Lawrence, New York, reached out to AHH and offered to open their home for the Labor Day event. They have hosted this event selflessly for the past ten years. Imagine having one thousand guests at your home for a barbeque. Who is like am Yisrael?

When asked about his vision for the organization, Mr. Glaser shared that he hopes to one day be able to help families for the whole first year after a loss of a breadwinner. “We

would love to increase our role in the life of widows and orphans to expand different programs like bar mitzvahs. We would need the support of the community to do this.”

This year’s event is scheduled to take place at the Moradis’ home on Labor Day, September 5, at 7:00 p.m., 72 Muriel Avenue, Lawrence, NY. Donations to Avigdor’s Helping Hand are welcome and appreciated.

This year’s barbeque will include an amazing Chinese auction with fabulous prizes such as: jewelry, tickets to sporting events, restaurants, art from Huvy’s gallery in Yerushalayim, a painting donated by Mrs. Meira Gross of Kew Garden Hills, high tech electronics, and a special surprise grand prize. Local and state politicians will be in attendance as usual including: Queens Borough President Melinda Katz, Congresswoman Grace Meng, and Senator Joe Addabbo.

AHH is an IRS registered 501C3 recognized charitable organization.

The organization’s rabbinic board headed by Rav Noach Isaac Oelbaum includes Rabbi Henoch Savitsky, Rabbi Peretz Steinberg, and Rabbi Yaakov Friedman.

You can donate online at the website avigdorshelpinghand.org.

Checks payable to AHH can be sent to 138-45 78 Drive, Flushing, NY 11367. Anyone interested in volunteering or bringing a family to AHH’s attention, please call 718-568-9720.

The community is truly honored to have such an important organization in our midst. May the time come very soon when it will no longer be needed because Moshiach will be here!

This article was originally published in Queens Jewish Link.

Recap of Rio Avi Heiligman’s take on the Games on page 84

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

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SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home

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New Gourmet Product Tops B’gan’s Line

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Truth is, people are hardly surprised anymore when they see a new innovative product on the shelves bearing the B’gan name; they’ve proven themselves over and over again as the leader in the industry for quality, taste, kashrus and innovation. Kosher consumers everywhere are always expecting new products from B’gan, and when they arrive they are eager to be the first to buy it and try it.

So, what’s the latest product on the B’gan line? B’gan Battered Onion Rings, of course!

Before you start thinking that they are regular onion rings, hang on, as they are nothing at all like the ordinary onion rings you’ve ever tasted; they are extraordinary in so many ways!

Firstly, they are as real as real can be. The all new B’gan Battered Onion Rings are manufactured using the freshest onions and aren’t filled with ingredients you can’t pronounce. When we say you are getting

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Speaking of slices, that’s exactly how these onion rings are produced.

The onions aren’t diced, chopped or ground. They are simply sliced, battered and ready to prepare and enjoy. The batter is an exclusive recipe that enhances the onion, locks in its freshness and makes you feel like you are eating fresh, gourmet, restaurant-style onion rings.

B’gan Battered Onion Rings are easy enough to prepare and a perfect to enhancement to any meal.

B’gan, the company that takes care of your family, has a full line of items from convenient to gourmet, from delicious, quick snacks to gourmet mouthwatering delicacies.

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The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

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SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

7th Annual Cross River Golf & Tennis Outing to Benefit Madraigos is a Smashing Success

O

n Monday, August 22, Cross River Bank held its Seventh Annual Golf and Tennis Outing to Benefit Madraigos at Trump National Golf Club of Westchester.

Known for its challenging course, spectacular grounds, and majestic waterfall on the 13th green, it proved to be the perfect backdrop for a beautiful day of golf, tennis, and networking.

For the sixth consecutive year, the event was sold-out for golf and tennis weeks before the event. Madraigos was thrilled to be selected once again by Cross River and its Board of Directors to be the sole beneficiary of this most successful outing. Madraigos owes a sincere debt of gratitude to Cross River Bank for their extreme generosity and genuine vote of confidence.

Madraigos also has profound gratitude to all those who very generously participated in the outing. Major event sponsors included Harborview Capital Partners, Infinity Land Services, Beechwood Re, Symphony, Sunspire Health, GreenSky, Freedom Financial Asset Management, The Federal Savings Bank, Sunlight Financial, Affirm, Triplenet, Liberty One and Weatherproof Garment Company.

Guests began arriving well before 9 AM, as many people were eager to use the grounds, tour the clubhouse, and enjoy the generous giveaways that Cross River presented to each registered golfer and tennis player. The Premium Giveaway, sponsored by Infinity Land Services, was the Barracuda. The Barracuda, a revolutionary carry-on luggage set to hit the market by the

end of the year, was extremely well received by event participants. For those of you who missed the event, stay tuned for the upcoming holiday season where the Barracuda will be officially launched to the general public. The golf umbrella, sponsored by Federal Savings Bank, and the Weatherproof Garment Company jacket were huge hits as well. The participants were also given a gym bag filled with a host of other sponsored items valued at well over $500. The players were delighted when they were also presented with a gift from the Trump Golf Club, a gift certificate for the Pro Shop.

Exigent sponsored the Vpar live golf scoring, a cutting edge feature which enhanced the experience throughout the day with action photos and live stats while ensuring accuracy in scoring. Golfers enjoyed the hand held devices and seeing their foursome photos on the large TV leader boards in the clubhouse and at the BBQ. After a delicious breakfast sponsored by Wachtel Missry, the 36 foursomes began to prepare for a competitive day of golf. Many of the event participants expressed their enthusiasm for the scenic golf course, with its world class manicuring and challenges, but were even more thankful for the opportunity to come out and support a cause that that means so much for the community. Their upbeat comments included, “This is the best golf tournament in the New York metro area. We are happy to support Madraigos, especially for all they do for the youth of today.” Mr. Dovi Wisnicki, a member of the Madraigos Board of Directors and an event sponsor, commented, “Rabbi Zern, together with Cross River Bank, definitely plan and execute the best event of the summer. It’s a testament to the incredible work that Rabbi Silver and Madraigos do.” Rabbi Yakov Horowitz, Founder and Director of Project Y.E.S., noted, “We are having a wonderful day with very friendly people from all walks of life.” Rabbi Horowitz also shared how he felt very privileged to be a part of the Madraigos Rosh Hashana Retreat, explaining that Madraigos provides the children with the support and space that they need, while skillfully availing them with a tailor-made religious experience for each member on his or her own individual level.

The BBQ lunch, sponsored by Sunspire Health, was underway outside as the shotgun start began on the spacious patio next to the putting green, halfway through the 18-hole course.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

47

Around the Community

The golfers drove their golf carts right up to the seating area, and enjoyed the plentiful meats that were grilled to perfection. The aroma was enticing, and the cold drinks and icy refreshments hit the spot.

Although the golf and tennis spots were completely sold out, many individuals came to the golf course to enjoy the wonderful day and to be a part of this spectacular event. Over 150 people arrived solely for cocktails and dinner, where elegant tables were set to accommodate the 300 people who had come together to network with the industry’s finest and to show their support for Madraigos.

Food at the outing was expertly catered by Dan and Sonia Halimi of Chagall Bistro, who worked tirelessly with their pastry chef to create eye-catching dessert centerpieces and French pastries. The dinner, which was sponsored by Harborview Capital Partners, was plentiful and succulent.

At the short dinner program, golf and tennis awards were presented, trophies were accepted, and the raffles were drawn. Fifteen different golf and tennis trophies, including Closest to

the Line, Closest to the Pin, Longest Drive and Jet Blue Challenge competition trophies were awarded to participants. Over fifty thousand dollars in donated gifts including electronics, jewelry, trips, and premium sports tickets were given away. Special prizes included golf vacations at Trump National Doral Golf Club in Miami, Florida, 5 day stay at the oceanfront Casa de Campo Resort/Spa in beautiful southeastern Dominican Republic, Andrew Lock custom suit, shirt, and tie, London Jewelers gift certificate, Raymond Weil men’s watch and a gift certificate for a foursome at the Trump National Golf Club in Westchester.

Madraigos would like to thank Bentsion Janashvili of Graphic IQ for his outstanding work and expertise in marketing, graphic design, creating the elegant brochures, printing and web services. The website created by Mr. Janashvili, provided easy sponsor and team registration and beautifully displayed the names and logos of the over 95 corporate sponsors that provide a full spectrum of services throughout America.

Kenneth Brown of Photographic Excellence worked hard with his team to get great action shots and capture the magnificent scenery. Due to their creativity and unique style the outing slideshow and video will definitely be a winner.

As the day came to a close, golfers, tennis players, and all the guests were already anticipating next year’s outing, with the confidence that it will once again be the most highly anticipated golf event of the season.

Rabbi Dov Silver, Founder and Executive Vice President of Madraigos, was grateful. “We are grateful beyond words to Cross River Bank and its Board of Directors for the tremendous

constant flow of generosity and commitment, enabling Madraigos to serve the community of people that need our resources and services.”

Gilles Gade, Chairman and CEO of Cross River Bank, was equally pleased with the event. “There could not be a better cause for Cross River Bank to back than Madraigos. It is not only an honor, but also a privilege, to be associated with Rabbi Silver and his team.”

“We are very thankful to Gilles Gade and his Board of Directors at Cross River Bank for choosing us once again to be the beneficiaries of their event,” said Rabbi Josh Zern, Executive Director at Madraigos. “We appreciate the generous sponsors, the volunteers who went above and beyond the call of duty, and everyone who came here today to network with others leaders in the real-estate, nursing homes, and banking industries, while also supporting Madraigos. We could not provide our life-saving work were it not for each and every person here today.”

Funds raised at the event will assist Madraigos in providing valuable services to our community, including a 24-hour Support Line, Community Education, Crisis Intervention, Case Management, Assessments and Referrals, School-Based Services, Educational Enhancement Program, The Lounge, GNO, Shabbatonim, Job Placement Program, Support Groups, and Yom Tov Retreats, including this year’s inspirational Rosh Hashana program which will take place at Hudson Valley Resort in the Catskills. For more information about Madraigos, please visit www.madraigos.org.

Madraigos, a 501c-3 not-for-profit organization, offers a wide array of innovative services and programs geared towards helping teens and young adults overcome life’s everyday challenges one step at a time. Our goal is to provide all of our members with the necessary tools and skills to empower them to live a healthy and productive lifestyle and become the leaders of tomorrow.

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SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

Walk the Boardwalk for Sderot

W

alk the Boardwalk for Sderot, an evening of awareness for Sderot, was held in Long Beach, NY, on Tuesday, August 9, on the Long Beach Boardwalk. More than 100 walkers, young and old, walked in unison on a beautiful summer evening to support the programs of the Yeshiva and the community.

The evening started with registration at the Young Israel of Long Beach. Preregistered guests lined up and received “I walked the Boardwalk with Sderot” t-shirts and Sderot messenger bags. There was great excitement as the buzz about the program grew and many walk-ins joined to participate.

Everyone returned to the Young Israel for a sumptuous coalition that was generously donated by various vendors and supporters of the evening. A wide array of treats were

served including sushi, pastries, fruit and refreshments.

Judah Rhine, Director of American Friends of Sderot, welcomed and thanked everyone for joining the cause and for their financial and moral support, giving special thanks to the local shuls including: the Young Israel of Long Beach, Lido Beach Synagogue, the BACH, the Sephardic Congregation and Atlantic Beach Jewish Center for their participation and promotion of the event.

He spoke about his experience in Sderot and the need for continued support and visits to the Yeshiva and the city of Sderot. Rabbi Wakslak, the Rav of YILB, expressed his sentiments, encouraging the bond between us and the city of Sderot.

Several local politicians stopped by including the City Manager of Long Beach, who thanked the crowd for visiting Long Beach and the Board-

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walk and for their support during the hurricane of four years ago. Todd Kaminsky, State Senator, who has visited Sderot many times, spoke passionately about his experience there and stressed the importance of supporting the city of Sderot. Rabbi Rappaport from Lido Beach Synagogue spoke briefly about the time he spent in Sderot during the most recent IDF operations in 2014. The program concluded with the showing of the Sderot video that truly summarized and captured the importance of the close connection between the Yeshiva Hesder of Sderot and the city and community of Sderot. Following Maariv, all the participants expressed their sentiments of being extremely impressed with the program and they are truly excited about being part of the Sderot family. Everyone is already looking forward to next year’s Walk on the Boardwalk

for Sderot.

SAVE THE DATES: AFS Chol Hamoed Sukkos Concert, Wednesday, October 19th starring Eitan Katz at the Queens Theatre and AFS First Annual 8th grade Yeshiva Day School Basketball Tournament November 2016.

For more information and for sponsorship opportunities, please visit Sderot.org or email Judah@ sderot.org.

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SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home

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1.

SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

TJH

Centerfold

Riddle me this?

One day, the boss changed the computer’s password. Then one of his employees, named John, came up to him and asked if he changed the password. The boss said, “Yes I did change the password.” The employee replied, “Can you tell me the password.” The boss thought for a minute and said, “The password is in this riddle.” John says, “What’s the riddle?” The boss replies, “The more of them you take, the more you leave behind. What are they?” John figures out the password. What is it?

See answer below

You gotta be

kidding

Yankel came home one day fuming mad about his boss Moishe. “I’m never going to work for that man again after what he said to me today!” Yankel’s wife tries to calm him down and then asks, “What did he say to you?”

Yankel replied, “He said, ‘You’re fired!’”

Answer to Riddle: The boss told him the password direction: “in this riddle.”

52 24

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

My Journey to a Blissful Job My first job was in an orange juice factory, but I couldn’t concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.

After that, I tried working in a donut shop, but I soon got tired of the hole business.

I manufactured calendars, but my days were numbered.

I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it.

Next I was an electrician, but I found the work shocking and revolting, so they discharged me.

I took a job as an upholsterer, but I never recovered.

I tried being a teacher, but I soon lost my principal, my faculties, and my class.

Next I tried working in a car muffler factory, but that was exhausting.

I turned to farming, but I wasn’t outstanding in my field.

I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn’t cut it.

I took a job as an elevator operator. The job had its ups and downs, and I got the shaft.

Then I was a pilot, but tended to wing it, and I didn’t have the right altitude.

I studied to become a doctor, but I didn’t have enough patients for the job.

I became a Velcro salesman, but I couldn’t stick with it.

I tried my hand at a professional career in tennis, but it wasn’t my racket.

I became a baker, but it wasn’t a cakewalk, and I couldn’t make enough dough.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

I thought about being a historian, but I couldn’t see a future in it.

I sold origami, but the business folded.

I took a job at UPS, but I couldn’t express myself.

Then I tried being a fireman, but I suffered burnout.

I became a banker, but I lacked interest and maturity, and finally withdrew from the job.

I was a professional fisherman, but I couldn’t live on my net income.

I next worked in a shoe factory, but I just didn’t fit in.

They thought I was a loafer, and I got the boot.

Then I worked at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

So I’ve retired, and I find I’m a perfect fit for this job!

53 25

54

SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Torah Thought

Parshas Re’eh

By Rabbi Berel Wein

T

homas Jefferson wrote in the American Declaration of Independence that certain truths are self-evident. His inspiration for this idea came from our great teacher Moshe who points out clearly in this week’s reading that one’s choices in life are clearly evident.

King Solomon in Kohelet points out that the Lord created human beings and imbued them with simple righteousness, but that they constantly search for devious means to fulfill unjust desires. The Torah, by using the verb re’eh, clearly implies that the choice between eternal life and death, between right and wrong, between good and evil is not that complicated.

One can see and sense the correct path in life and follow it. As an aid to this self-evident truth, one need only review past history and contemplate what has gone before us, both personally and nationally. In all of its ritual complexities and technical rules, Judaism is, in its essence, a clear and simple faith. This point is hammered home over and over again

by Moshe in his grand final oration to the Jewish people.

What made the founders of the Jewish people and the protagonists of monotheism in the world so unique was their innate ability to recognize what is self-evident in this world.

Namely, that the world was creat-

and to those that He created.

Swept along by the tide of events and the wearying details of everyday life, we are often unable to stop and think about these truths that form the basis of our existence and

Swept along by the tide of events and the wearying details of everyday life, we are often unable to stop and think about these truths that form the basis of our existence and purpose here in the world.

ed, that there is a Creator, and that human beings have the ability and necessity to connect somehow with that Creator. Once these self-evident truths are acknowledged and firmly entrenched in our minds and hearts, then the laws and customs of Israel logically follow and complete the pattern of our service to the Creator

purpose here in the world. The great Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzatto begins his epic masterpiece Mesilat Yesharim with the basic question of life: “What is our purpose and goal in life?”

That question has haunted human beings throughout all of the ages and eras of human existence

on this planet. This has been the issue that has been the driving force of human civilizations in all times and under all circumstances. Many have been the answers given to this question. Almost all of them have led humans away from the straight path and caused rational thinking people to deny the truths that daily remind us of who and why we are.

The powers of greed, desire, physical pleasure and unrealistic and utopian do-goodedness have overwhelmed our clear eyesight and instinctive rational thought processes. Having tasted forbidden fruit, it is extremely difficult to rid one’s self of the aftertaste.

Moshe attempts to forewarn us of the consequences of not seeing and thinking correctly and clearly.

Therefore before discussing any of the commandments or ritual complexities of the Torah, he first demands from his listeners and students, down through the ages, that they harken to the truths that lie before them on a constant and everyday basis. This is really the key to Judaism and Jewish survival.

Shabbat shalom.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

55

The Observant Jew

A Tense Situation

By Rabbi Jonathan Gewirtz

W

hile traveling, I visited a shul run by people who had attended Yeshivas Rabbeinu Yisroel Meir HaKohain, commonly known as “Chofetz Chaim,” located in Queens, NY, with branches in numerous cities. Though I attended Telshe Yeshiva in Cleveland, I have a connection to that yeshiva as well.

Aside from numerous cousins who attended or married people who attended that yeshiva, my grandfather, R’ Abba Zalka Gewirtz z”l, was a student of Yeshivas R’ Yisroel Meir HaKohain at its inception, under the leadership of R’ Dovid Leibowitz z”l, father of the Rosh Yeshiva R’ Henoch Leibowitz z”l. Though he was the Vice President of Telshe for over forty years, he often spoke at Chofetz Chaim, especially for the yahrtzeit shiurim for R’ Dovid z”l.

Since he did this for years, his name (especially being so unique) is wellknown among the students of that yeshiva. As part of my introduction, when I mention my name, I will often explain, “R’ Abba Zalka was my grandfather.” Since I had cousins named Gewirtz who attended, this cements the Jewish geography chain for them and helps them understand my place in the family.

This time, as I said it, I

wondered to myself: Should I say, “R’ Abba Zalka was my grandfather,” or “R’ Abba Zalka is my grandfather”?

On the one hand, he is no longer among the living, so “was” would be grammatically correct. On the other hand, his influence on my life is still extant, so perhaps “is” works as long as his legacy lives on.

The fact that I had such a question raises an interesting point. When we influence others, positively or negatively, does that impact ever really go away? Is it possible that the action continues to live on when it affected the trajectory of someone’s life?

Do we say, “I had an impact on someone’s life” or “I have an impact on someone’s life.”?

What about the experiences we go through? If we’re still behaving in a certain way because of an event that took place years ago, can it be said that the incident is truly in the past? If we think about things through the prism or perspective of a particular incident, has it really ceased to exist?

Who we are today is an amalgam of what we’ve been through in our lives, our personalities, beliefs, and insights. The occurrences and interactions we have had continue to live on in us and color our behavior.

As we enter Elul, this is something for us to think about. We are who we are because of whom we have been. When we reflect on the past to do teshuva, it means looking at the things we’ve gone through and how we’ve reacted. It means we recognize that the person standing before Hashem on Rosh Hashana is made up of the experiences and influences that helped mold him.

So what? Why is it relevant?

It is relevant because that’s precisely how to change who we are for the better. If we were influenced by friends who made poor choices, we have the chance to find friends who will send us on a different trajectory.

We can put ourselves into more positive or spiritual situations and direct our growth and development.

By realizing how our actions impact who we are, or whom others become, we can tailor them for a better outcome than we might have had heretofore. We can choose to work on our choices and our habits so that when we come to Rosh Hashana, we’ll have been making corrections for at least several weeks.

This is one of the understandings of taking on certain stringencies during the Aseres Yemei Teshuva, the ten days of penitence be-

ginning with Rosh Hashana and ending with Yom Kippur. Just as one might go on a cleanse or diet to reset his metabolism, we raise the bar

as well. What I do know is that though he may have passed away, whether he is or was; I, due to the lessons he taught me and the values

Just as one might go on a cleanse or diet to reset his metabolism, we raise the bar on our behavior to help influence and change who we are as we move forward into the new year.

on our behavior to help influence and change who we are as we move forward into the new year.

As the summer comes to a close, it’s time to reevaluate how we’ve been influenced and how we’ve influenced others. We should recognize that an act doesn’t cease just because you’re no longer doing it. If it impacted someone else, even spiritually, those ripples can continue to spread indefinitely.

What it boils down to is that I can’t determine whether R’ Abba Zalka was my grandfather or if he is my grandfather. I don’t know if his role was past tense or present and future

he instilled in me, am still his grandson.

Jonathan Gewirtz is an inspirational writer and speaker whose work has appeared in publications around the world.

You can find him at www.facebook.com/RabbiGewirtz, and follow him on Instagram @ RabbiGewirtz or Twitter @ RabbiJGewirtz. He also operates JewishSpeechWriter.com, where you can order a custom-made speech for your next special occasion. Sign up for the Migdal Ohr, his weekly PDF Dvar Torah in English. E-mail info@JewishSpeechWriter.com and put Subscribe in the subject.

56

SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home

HONORING OUR DONORS:

MAJOR DEDICATIONS building dedication // ‫בנין באר רחל‬ e

Mark & Barbara Silber mikvah dedication // mikvah sara e Shalom & Reena Vegh

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reception area lobby e Robert & Roselin Vegh

mikvah pool—immersion room 1

mikvah pool—immersion room 2

Melly & Rochele Lifshitz

David & Stephanie Sokol

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mikvah pool—immersion room 3

mikvah pool—immersion room 4

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Vera Solomon Aron & Rachel Solomon

Adam & Arielle Parkoff

corridors

main entryway

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Chaim & Livia Jacobs and Family

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north wing

south wing

Ezra & Caroline Birnbaum

Moshe & Nechama Ratner

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Ari & Ruthy Jungreis

Dani & Michali Rosenthal

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David & Beracha Gast

east wing

west wing

Shmuel & Batsheva Neuman

Uri & Devorah Dreifus

pathways to purity exit mezuzah north wing

pathways to purity south, east, west

2 Ari &Available Chaya Cohen

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$100,000 (1 AVAILABLE)

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preparation rooms handicap preparation room

Nachman & Esther Goodman kallah preparation room

Dr. Freddie & Lori Marton

Anonymous Chaim & Ayala Abramson Danny & Chayala Eberstark Yossi & Deena Eisenberger Yaakov & Sori Gade Nosson & Miri Ginsbury

Moshe & Rivky Majeski

Avi & Pessi Goldstein Motty & Malka Klein Ralph & Magda Manella Yossi & Malk Melohn Yanky & Shaindy Neuhoff Avrumi & Aliza Rosenberg

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washing stations

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Shmuel & Tzipi Schechter

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library

Aaron & Eva Wexler $18,000 – (1 AVAILABLE)

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Menachem & Mariam Lieber

Shalom & Pessy Jacobs

honored contributors ($15,000—$5,000)

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Asher & Esty Jungreis Shaul & Batsheva Katz Alan & Carolyn Lieberman Shalom & Iris Maidenbaum Eli & Ava Moskowitz Mordechai & Gyla Schwartz Shalom & Michelle Segelman Jeff & Sharona Weinberg Avi & Elia Weinstock Aron Wexler Joshua Zeitman Myrna Zisman

L'zecher Nishmas

Shlomo Fishel Ben Aron

Lobby mezuzah

Dovid & Tikvah Chesky & Naomi Azman Newman

honored contributors ($15,000 and above) Uri Cohen David & Chanee Deutsch Binyomin & Leah Einhorn Daniel & Ariella Freundlich Rabbi & Rebitzin Ginzburg Eli & Riva Goldschmiedt Pinny & huvi Goldstein Dudi & Esti Gross Zev & Evy Guttman Mendy & Kiki Haas Andrew & Teri Herenstein Shaye & Shani Hirsch,

Shimshi & Yocheved Rosenberg Ari & Daniella Schwartz Nassan & Devorah Treitel

Jonathan Bennett Judd and chassia Boczko Avi & Goldie Dreyfuss Sammy & Chayie Eberstark Dr. Eli & Esther Eisenberger Seth & Zahava Farbman Shmuel & Aviva Francis Brian Gluck Chanann & Suri Greenwald Michael & Faiga Joseph Shlomo & Addi Kapetas Steven & Marjorie Kellner

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To arrange a named sponsorship, please call 516-962-3001 or contact: Moishe Ratner, Shmulie Schechter, Yoeli Steinberg or Meir Krengel

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

THE FINAL STRETCH:

TOGETHER WE CAN!

With the partnership of each family, we can complete this monumental Mikvah for all of our families.

Please join us today at the level of your ability.

‫דורות ישרים מבורכים‬

SUPPORTERS OF GENERATIONS E

$3,600

‫בנין עדי עד‬

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'‫בנים אתם לה‬

FRIENDS & FAMILY E

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Donate online at GROVESTREETMIKVAH.ORG Mailing Address: GROVE STREET MIKVAH INC. | PO BOX 485 | CEDARHURST, NY 11516

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58

SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Between the Lines

Of Misers and Men

By Eytan Kobre

The miser is as much in want of what he has as of what he has not.

- Publilius Syrus

A

wealthy Jewish man known to be miserly was once approached by a local charitable cause. “We’ve been investigating you,” the leader of the group began.

“So we know that in addition to this mansion in Beverly Hills, you have a large estate in Palm Springs and a chalet in Switzerland. You and your wife both drive luxury cars, and your business opened eighteen new stores this year. We do hope you will contribute something this year.”

The miser was not fazed. “And did your investigation also reveal that my mother has been in the hospital for three months, requiring private nurses around the clock? And did you learn that my uncle’s business collapsed and he is deep in debt?

And did you discover that both my sisters have multiple children in private colleges? And do you know that I have five married children, each of whom relies upon me for support?

And if I don’t give a penny to any of them, what makes you think that I’m going to give to you?”

As a people, we are renowned for being charitable and philanthropic.

But even before being encouraged to be generous, we are taught not to be stingy. “If there be among you a poor

person, one of your brethren, in one of your gates, in your land that Hashem your G-d gives you, you shall not harden your heart nor close your hand from your needy brother. Rather, you shall surely open your hand to him…” (Devarim 15:7-8). These are actually two distinct commandments: a negative command not to be miserly, and a positive command to be generous (compare Rambam, Negative Commandment 232 and Positive Commandment 195; Rambam, Matnos Aniyim 7:1; Tosfos, Kesubos 49b). Our first order of business is to avoid stinginess; only then are we told to be generous.

To be sure, it is human nature to be tight-fisted. Generally, “[w]hen a person comes to this world, his hands are always folded or recoiled, as is if he is saying, ‘The entire world is mine and I am its heir’” (Koheles Rabba 5:14). But we ought to be different. “We are obligated to be more meticulous with the commandment of charity than with all other positive commandments because charity is the hallmark of righteous descendants of Avraham…and anyone who is cruel and does not show compassion, there is reason to doubt his Jewish ancestry” (Rambam, Matnos Aniyim 10:1, 14; see Yevamos 79a; Kiddushin 76a).

Our tradition abhors miserliness (Orchos Tzaddikim, Gate of Miserliness). Miserliness is comparable to idolatry (Kesubos 68a; Rambam, Matnos Aniyim 10:3), and it invites

all sorts of mayhem (Bava Basra 10a).

Above all, however, miserliness harms the miser’s character. “If you see someone who restrains himself from giving charity, know that he is lacking” (Medrash Shocher Tov, Mishlei 11). Or, as philosopher Eric Hoffer put it, “a soul that is reluctant to share does not as a rule have much of its own.”

John G. Wendel and his six sisters were among New York’s wealthiest and most miserly families. They were billionaires by today’s standards, with a real estate portfolio that stretched from the Bowery to Fifth Avenue, from Wall Street to the Upper West Side. Yet so frugal were the Wendels that John’s entire wardrobe at the time of his death in 1914 was valued at a measly $10 (only $245 by today’s standards), and when the last surviving sister died in 1931, her only dress was one she had made herself and worn for nearly 25 years. To keep their inherited fortune in the family, none of them ever married.

Who was hurt most by the Wendels’ miserliness? The Wendels, of course. Oh, and because they never married, their fortune died with them.

Perhaps this is the reason that we may force a Jew to give charity (Tosfos, Kesubos 49b). Although ordinarily one may not be compelled to perform a positive commandment for which the Torah allocates an explicit reward – such as charity (Devarim 15:10) – maybe one can be

forced to give charity because, deep down, every Jew wants to give charity. No Jew truly is a miser.

R’ Shneur Zalman of Liadi, founding Lubavitcher Rebbe, was once raising money to ransom Jewish prisoners, when he was told of a notoriously stingy miser who was loath to give charity, no matter how worthy or urgent the cause. Any rabbi or beggar or collector who arrived at his doorstep unwittingly was met with a single rusty copper coin, which even the most desperate pauper would refuse.

When the Rebbe announced that he wanted to visit the miser, he was met with stiff resistance. But the Rebbe was adamant. He would appeal to the miser.

The next afternoon, the Rebbe and his two attendants showed up at the front door of the miser’s mansion. “Whatever you do,” the Rebbe warned his companions, “say nothing.”

The Rebbe and his escorts soon found themselves sitting in a luxurious drawing room, the miser returning from his safe with a small velvet money-pouch in hand. “Ah, yes,” said the miser with an air of detachment.

“A touching story indeed. Widows and orphans in captivity. Oh, the suffering! Please accept my humble donation.” As expected, it was a single rusty coin.

But to the miser’s utter shock, the Rebbe seemed pleased by the contribution. He smiled and put the

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

coin into his pocket tenderly. “Thank you and Gd bless you always,” said the Rebbe as he shook the miser’s hand. “And now,” he added, turning to his companions, “we must be on our way. We have much work ahead of us.”

As the door closed behind them, one of the Rebbe’s attendants let loose. “You should have thrown that

a minute,” the miser yelled.

The trio was soon back in the miser’s warm, plush drawing room. The miser paced back and forth restlessly. He stopped abruptly and turned to the Rebbe. “Exactly how much money do you need to ransom these prisoners?”

“Five thousand rubles,” the Rebbe announced.

“How could he ever want to give if he never experienced the joy of giving?”

coin back in his face! That was an insult!”

“Don’t turn around and don’t say another word,” the Rebbe shot back.

Almost immediately, the front door swung open behind them.

“Rabbis, rabbis, please come back for

The miser took a stack of bills from his jacket pocket and placed it on the table. “Well, here is one thousand rubles…you may count it if you want.” The Rebbe’s companions were dumbfounded. They stared at the money. Then they stared at the

Rebbe. Then they stared back at the money again, afraid even to look at the miser for fear he would change his mind.

Again, the Rebbe shook the miser’s hand and thanked him warmly. He wrote the miser a beautiful receipt, replete with all manners of blessings and praises.

As before, when the front door closed behind them, the Rebbe’s companions could hardly contain themselves. “That was a miracle! A feat even greater than the splitting of the Red Sea!” Again, the Rebbe demanded silence.

And again, the front door of the mansion swung open. “Rabbis, I have changed my mind. Please come back. I need to speak with you urgently.”

The Rebbe and his companions once more entered the stately home.

“I have decided to give the entire sum needed for the ransom. Here it is. Please count it to see that I have not made a mistake.” He had not. It

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was another 4,000 rubles.

When they finally departed the “miser’s” home for good, and ventured out of earshot, the Rebbe’s astonished companions demanded an explanation. “How did you get that notorious miser to donate 5,000 rubles?”

“That man is no miser,” the Rebbe answered. “No Jewish soul truly is. But everyone to whom he gave that first rusty penny just threw it back in his face. How could he ever want to give if he never experienced the joy of giving?”

Deep down, none of us truly is a miser.

Some of us simply haven’t yet experienced just how rewarding giving can be.

Eytan Kobre is a writer, speaker, mediator, and attorney living in Kew Gardens Hills. Questions? Comments? Suggestions? E-mail eakobre@outlook.com.

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Another L

k

The Backfire Effect

By Rabbi YY Rubinstein

R

eb Silmcha Zissel of Kelm zt”l once said that if you discover in contemporary research a concept or an idea which is wise and true, you should realize that this concept already exists in the Torah. You have simply not found it there yet.

Driving outside Manchester, England, the other day I switched on the radio to the BBC. A psychologist was being interviewed and he used a term I had never heard of before called, Backfire Syndrome or the Backfire Effect.

Research shows that if someone has an entrenched belief and you offer them clear evidence that it is wrong, they are likely to dig in their heels and believe it more strongly than ever. The psychologist went on to cite examples of people shown why what they thought was right was in fact wrong and how the evidence made no difference whatsoever. People who were convinced by conspiracy theories only believed in them more when you demonstrated how impossible and in some cases ridiculous they are. People, certain that medical treatments from chemotherapy to polio vaccinations are ineffective or even bad for you, will be completely deaf and blind to the results of clinical trials that show that they help.

This is a much bigger problem when it comes to people’s belief in other people.

A few months ago I gave a talk in Queens. The organizer asked me for a topical subject with a title that would grab people’s attention.

I suggested a talk examining the then-three presidential candidates as well as their personalities and politics from a Torah standpoint.

The organizer thought that was a great idea. “How about a title?” he asked and after a second I replied, “The Torah and the Presidential Election...Bring in the Clowns!”

I asked if that might be snappy enough to “grab people’s attention.”

The organizer gave a little chuckle and told me it would do just that.

I began by making it clear that I am not an American citizen and

peated criticism of Donald Trump, i.e. how he speaks about people.

This is particularly true concerning women, and I explained why that is such a flaw from our perspective.

A Jew from the former USSR sitting in the front was extremely offended by this claim.

“Tell me,” he shouted, “even vun bat tink Mr. Trump has ever said about any vuman?”

She told him, “My god is greater than yours and I can prove it from your own Torah.”

would not be voting in the election.

I then emphasized that I would examine the main criticisms that other people claim the candidates possess. I would then simply discuss them from a Torah perceptive.

I started with Hillary Clinton and what is generally accepted to be her habitual failing of “being economic with the truth.”

A few of the people in the audience were her supporters but none challenged the accusation. That allowed me to go on to explain why honesty is so valued by the Torah and Chazal.

Next up was Bernie Sanders, that proud son of parents from Poland, not Jewish parents.

It was obvious why a Jew who is so reluctant to acknowledge his own people is a problem.

Lastly I pointed to the much-re-

This produced howls of derision from everyone and when the howls subsided, I told him a “very bat tink” he had said about a wellknown “vuman.”

“Zat vos only because she said nasty tinks about him!” explained Boris the Bucharian. I almost pointed out that he had just accepted my original claim but I decided not to. It was rather obvious that somehow, in his mind, he hadn’t accepted my point at all.

If the BBC psychologist had been there he would have cited this as a perfect example of Backfire Syndrome.

I decided to look into the current literature on the subject and came across this: There are some proven ways to bring someone around to your

point of view.

▪ Let tempers cool down a bit before bringing a subject up again.

A large portion of the backfire effect stems from people not wanting to be seen as wrong.

▪ If possible, you should show your opponent how accepting the evidence would benefit them personally.

▪ Just wait for a little bit. Sometimes what you said actually sank in; they just need some time to mull it over.

But as Reb Simcha Zissel pointed out, this concept is already in the Torah.

The circumstances that led up to the first homicide in history between two brothers is almost inexplicable. Hevel and Kayin were prophets. Hashem spoke to them!

Enraged by HaKodosh Boruch Hu’s acceptance of Hevel’s offering and rejection of his own, Kayin furiously declared, “There is no divine Law and no divine Judge and no world to come!”

All the evidence of his own eyes and ears denied the nonsense tumbling from his mouth. Perhaps, had he had the chance to live, Hevel could have used one or all of the “proven ways” mentioned above to make his brother accept the truth.

He was never given the chance.

The Medrash Rabba records another amazing incident between a Roman noble lady and Reb Yossi.

She told him, “My god is greater than yours and I can prove it from your own Torah.”

She pointed out that when Hashem turned Moshe’s stick into a snake he fled and ran away from it. This Roman woman worshiped snakes. “Yet when your G-d ap-

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

peared to Moshe at the burning bush all he did was turn his face away. “You see!” she said triumphantly, “My god is greater than yours.”

Reb Yossi told her, “You are making yourself look foolish. What is the power of your god? Moshe only needed to run away a few yards and he was safe. My G-d though is everywhere, where could Moshe run? Instead, out of respect he hid his face.”

Reb Yossi displayed a refinement of the second of the psychologists’ suggestions for bringing someone around to your point of view. He not only showed her how accepting the evidence would benefit her personally, he hinted that he believed her bigger and better than someone who could say something so foolish.

The greatest Jewish teachers knew thousands of years ago how

to avoid the dangers of the Backfire Effect.

Reb Moshe Shneider zt”l was just able to move his yeshiva from Frankfurt to London before the start of the war. His talmidim became among the greatest of their generation.

If he saw a bochur who had done something wrong he deployed a strategy that perfectly addressed the Backfire Effect. He would invite the boy to go for a walk with him, something he often did when he wanted to discuss a piece of Gemara with a talmid.

With his hand round the boy’s shoulder he would begin, “You know, if you go to the chasunah of your sister and you see there is a black thread on her beautiful white dress or perhaps a white thread on the suit of your brother-in-law to-be, would you point that out to them?” The answer of course was a

resounding, “Yes!” Then he continued, “And if you went to a garage to collect your car and the mechanic came out from underneath and as he did so a drop of oil fell onto his overalls, would you point that out to him?”

The answer was an obvious no for the simple reason that mechanics are always the filthy. It is in nature of their work. One more oil stain on his overalls will make no difference.

With that introduction, he then went on to tell the boy that he had seen him do or say something, “And it’s spoiling you!”

The genius of Reb Moshe’s approach is obvious. He made sure the boy was not embarrassed in front of others, which would only end up in him rejecting the advice.

The arm around the boy’s shoulder assured him that his rebbe loved him and was on his side. Lastly his

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brilliant mashal told the talmid that his recent slip-up was like the thread spoiling the dress or suit. If that was removed then what was underneath was truly beautiful.

When Moshe told Hashem that there was no point in him trying to persuade the Jews that he had been sent to save them, Hashem reprimanded him. “They are maaminim, bnei maaminim! They will believe in you.”

That criticism applies to all of us who feel a Jew is a hopeless case who simply won’t listen to what we have to say. They will! As long as we have studied carefully how the Torah shows us to choose our words with wisdom and to avoid the Backfire Effect.

Rabbi Y Y Rubinstein is a writer and au- thor who speaks all over the world.

He lives in Inwood.

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SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Chayal El Chayal A Lone Soldier’s Home Away From Home

By Tammy Mark

3,000 mishloach manot packed and distributed for Purim

After

weeks of intense military training and service, every soldier looks forward to an off weekend when they can take a brief leave from their army base. Physically and often mentally exhausted, they take their busses back to their homes, oftentimes collapsing with fatigue into their own comfortable beds, grateful for a warm house and a home-cooked meal.

What about the lone soldiers? These are the brave volunteers who come from around the world to serve in the Israel Defense Forces, risking their own lives to protect the lives of the Jewish nation. Though they join the IDF with an independent spirit and an overwhelming amount of dedication and determination, they too need care and comfort in order to be their best, and many lone soldiers can find themselves

without a place to go for Shabbat.

Chayal el Chayal is the home away from home for these young men and women. The organization’s Lone Soldiers Home hosts hundreds of lone soldiers every month, providing gourmet, home-cooked meals and a welcomed break from the army. With traditional delicacies and a warm atmosphere, Shabbat meals are typically attended by 100 soldiers every week, with as many as 25 to 30 staying over in the dorm-style accommodations, and many more soldiers joining for the high holidays. Chayal el Chayal is centrally located in the Jerusalem neighborhood of Nachlaot.

Chayal el Chayal not only provides a physical respite for the soldiers, but the team at Chayal el Chayal is committed to addressing the other physical, spiritual and

emotional aspects of their daily lives. Services range from the utilitarian, such as lodging and laundry, to comfort and care such as an extra blanket in the winter, or a cold water bottle on a hot day. There are barbecues, trips, social events and activities; all intended to benefit the overall well-being of the soldiers and are infused with spirituality whenever possible. With 15% of lone soldiers being female, Chayal el Chayal hosts a “girls’ night in” every other week.

The Chayel el Chayel team also goes out to visit the soldiers on their bases for other holidays, bringing necessary supplies and cheer – menorahs for Chanukah, mishaloch manos for Purim, and matzah for Pesach. They organize special programs to get the soldiers to do mitzvot, both on and off base.

One such program is called “Strapping Soldiers,” where

the male soldiers put on tefillin for 11 days and post pictures to spread the word to other soldiers – with a chance to win a flight home.

Most importantly, Chayal el Chayal offers guidance and direction to the young adults as they are far away from their homes and families.

One major project is preparing the various care packages, with 300 to 1,400 soldiers receiving them each holiday. Chayal el Chayal can depend on supporters to the send basic necessities for the soldiers, such as socks, deodorant and toothpaste. The soldiers really get to see and understand that there are people around the world who appreciate them for protecting the land. Chayal el Chayal also encourages school projects, both in Israel and around the world.

Having children write letters to lone soldiers is another way for these heroes to feel the

warm embrace of the greater Jewish family.

What

h e l p s make Chayal el Chayal such a truly exceptional place is its founders, two former lone soldiers who understand the unique needs of the lone soldier.

Chayal el Chayal – literally “Soldier to Soldier” – was established in 2011 by Mordechai (Mordy) Botnick from Ottawa, Canada, and his fellow soldier Ari Abramowitz from Monsey, NY. When Mordy Botnick traveled to Israel from Canada he had just $40 in his pocket. His grandmother had advised him to go there after he had gotten kicked out of school. After landing in Jerusalem, Mordy was fortunate to connect with a rabbi who allowed him to stay at his yeshiva while waiting to enter military service. Mordy enlisted in

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Torah dedication for our Lone Soldier Shul

the IDF, becoming a lone soldier at 18-years-old. One off weekend, with training over and a few months left to his service, he found himself without an invitation for a Shabbat meal. Rather than being alone, Mordy gathered some fellow lone soldiers and arranged to share the meal.

At that time, Mordy was not fully shomer Shabbat.

He had a mix of friends that would have dinner together on Shabbat and then go elsewhere after. Once Mordy was settled in an apartment he continued to organize his weekly meals. After a while, Mordy realized that he wanted to do more and be a good example for his friends; he decided to become religious again.

Ari Abramowitz was studying in yeshiva in Israel during the 2007-2008 academic year. During his time there he witnessed rockets falling into the town of Sederot not far from where he was. That was the same year that eight Mercaz HaRav students were tragically murdered. Ari returned home and told his parents that he wanted to join the IDF. Though worried about his safety – and his Judaism – Ari’s father said he would

Receiving lulavim and etrogim for Sukkos

always have his back.

Once he was back in Israel, Ari struggled to make it on his own. He didn’t want to ask his parents for money, and it was very difficult to work on a student visa. Yet at 20-years-old he was so very passionate and determined to serve that his new Israeli friends there thought he was crazy. He realized that they too felt like lone soldiers since they were on their own for the first time, whereas Ari had already been away for school and yeshiva.

Ari was on a trip when he first met Tova and Noam Novik. The Novik family had emigrated from the U.S. to Israel, and after speaking with Ari they invited him to their house. The family eventually became a surrogate family to Ari, making sure he had a place to go at all times, and Ari would visit any chance he had. He was able to rest and do his laundry there, and they even included him in their family trips. The grandparents embraced him and the grandfather even stood under Ari’s chuppah.

Mordy and Ari joined forces, and Chayal el Chayal was born. Through their collective experiences they

became attuned to the struggles that lone soldiers – and all soldiers – often face. At Chayal el Chayal, they are there to help soldiers at every stage of their journey, be it pre-, present, or former lone soldiers.

Pre-draft

soldiers often arrive in Israel needing a place to stay while looking for an apartment.

Chayal el Chayal makes the transition easier, offering two weeks of free lodging, assistance in finding an apartment, and complete guidance along the way.

During the soldiers’ IDF training and service, Ari and Mordy are there for support always, even attending the “tekes” military swearing in ceremonies for the lone soldiers. At times they have had to help these young adults navigate difficult situations in life, such as medical conditions or other personal issues that are not easy to deal with while in the army.

Post-IDF, the soldiers have formed everlasting friendships through Chayal el Chayal that continue as they move on in life. 70% of the lone soldiers go back to their home country after

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Directors of Chayal el Chayal Mordy Botnick and Ari Abramowitz

service. Chayal el Chayal’s number one priority is the soldiers’ continued physical, spiritual, and mental wellbeing. They offer help in every way possible through their network of connections for schools, yeshivas, jobs and degrees.

“My only goal is to see them all succeed in life,” says Ari. For parents of IDF lone soldiers, Mordy and Ari pride themselves on being available 24 hours a day to ensure that their child has everything they need to succeed. Avi David of Far Rockaway, NY, joined the IDF last summer, having previously attending Yeshiva Darchei Torah in Far Rockaway and Waterbury Yeshiva in Connecticut. Although he always knew that he wanted to join, he had no idea how to do it or where he would stay.

“It was kind of unsettling for us,” recalls his mother, Ilana, of the day he announced his decision. The next day she decided to do some research online – she searched “lone soldier” and the Chayal el Chayal organization popped up. She called the U.S. number and Ari himself answered the phone. He gave the concerned mother

“We take care of them for who they are, not just what they are. We know that they’re soldiers, but they are also kids.”

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OCTOBER 29,1,2015 SEPTEMBER 2016| |The TheJewish JewishHome Home

Girls’ night in event for female lone soldiers

Birthday party for a lone soldier

“He feels like there’s somebody there that cares about him.”

his cell number and assured her he would take care of her son. When Avi arrived in Israel, Chayal el Chayal provided him with a place to stay and helped him get everything in order.

Avi was selected to serve in a very specialized unit and will be there for a total of three years, as opposed to the standard 18 months.

He came in as an American that didn’t speak Hebrew, and is currently the only American in the unit and doing extremely well. Avi still returns to the Lone Soldier Home for Shabbat and for special events.

The Davids visited Avi in Israel this past year and even joined in a Shabbat meal at the Lone Soldier Home. They observed firsthand the delicious home-cooked meals provided in the most welcoming atmosphere, where someone can drop by without a reservation.

“It makes us as parents feel settled,” admits Ilana.

“He feels like there’s somebody there that cares about him.”

The

number of lone soldiers is on the rise. The soldiers come from all over the Unit-

ed States as well as from Europe. Many are inspired to join the IDF after traveling to Israel on the Birthright program. From the U.S. there are about 1,000 lone soldiers per year coming from states such as Washington, Alabama and Kentucky – men and women, unaffiliated and affiliated.

Ari says, though, that once they join the IDF, “they’re automatically affiliated.”

Of the 6,300 lone soldiers serving in the IDF, 3,300 are actually from within Israel. Some of the young men come from Hareidi families who don’t support their decision to serve; some are orphans that have no other family to go to.

Lone soldiers are coming to Israel from Russia, France, Brazil and Australia too – basically every metropolitan Jewish area – and the trend is increasing tremendously. In places like France and Russia it is the rise as anti-Semitism influences their decision to leave their homes.

Many of the lone soldiers come from families that are connected to Israel, either having close relatives there or the ability to visit regularly; some are truly in the

Avi David from the Five Towns and his fellow lone soldiers receiving Rosh Hashana cards from children around the world

country alone. Additionally, Chayal el Chayal does not simply fill the void for those away from their own families, but also operates as a family for those who do not have a positive support system at home.

Ari and Mordy have seen a lot since Chayal el Chayal opened. While most lone soldiers are simply motivated by a sense of duty, a strong Zionistic belief and love for the country, for some there’s also another reason – they are kids trying to find themselves. There are many troubled teens trying to improve their situation. Some were abused when they were younger; Ari has seen close to 30 such kids come through his doors. Ari explains that he deals with sensitive issues like these on an everyday basis, with young soldiers coming to him to speak to him, crying. Many of them were kids struggling at home and have unresolved issues that linger with them during their service. Some may have been kicked out of school or suffered the loss of a parent. Once they are in uniform, however, they might be even more reluctant to go for therapy or

even ask for help lest it be seen as a sign of weakness as a soldier.

“We take care of them for who they are, not just what they are. We know that they’re soldiers, but they are also kids,” Ari explains.

Chayal el Chayal is not funded by any organization or government agency and depends heavily on its supporters for help in their mission. The organization recently moved into a new larger facility, complete with a large dining hall, bedrooms, lounge, shul, office and more. They are hoping to furnish it soon, allowing them to eventually cater to the needs of thousands of lone soldiers during the year on an even larger scale.

Though there are a number of organizations dedicated to helping this influx of valiant lone soldiers, Chayal el Chayal prioritizes the emotional and spiritual needs of the person. They operate not as an office but a home, a home where the doors are always open – both literally and figuratively. They make sure to get to know who they are before, during and after

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015 The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

Aaron Kornbluth from the Five Towns at his graduation ceremony with his parents

their service. Ari also travels to the U.S. to help support the soldiers deal with any struggles that remain, hoping to reach out to all the former soldiers in every

Strapping soldiers tefillin campaign

major community.

“There is nothing that I would turn someone away for. If I can’t help them, I will refer them,” says Ari. “We try to help each and ev-

Lone soldier lighting the menorah at Chayal el Chayal

ery one of our children.”

On Monday, September 5, at 9:30 AM, an inspiring Labor Day breakfast in support of Chayal el Chayal,

Receiving winter gear

featuring former IDF lone soldiers and parents of lone soldiers, will be held at the home of Gila and Josh Jedwab at 356 Roselle Avenue in Cedarhurst, NY.

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SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home

‎My Israel Home

Jerusalem’s Streets Stories Behind the Names

By Gedaliah Borvick

M

y brother-in-law and I have a fun sightseeing ritual which we have been performing for the past number of years. Every time he visits Israel, we grab a few hours – and a few books about Jerusalem’s neighborhoods and streets – and off we trek to another section of Jerusalem to learn about the people whom the streets were named after.

I thought you may enjoy reading about one of our experiences and what our subsequent research revealed.

While strolling around Rechavia, one notices a pattern in the street names of the community: they are almost all named after sages of the Golden Age in Spain.

A few examples are Radak, Ibn Ezra, Saadia Gaon, Ramban (Nachmanides), and Ben-Maimon (Maimonides or Rambam) – parenthetically, the street was named Ben-Maimon and not Rambam in order to differentiate it from Ramban, which sounds very similar.

Why was Yehuda Halevi, one of Spain’s most promi-

nent scholars, philosophers and poets during the Medieval Period, missing from the street names?

The answer is that Yehuda Halevi Street originally existed, but in 1933 the name was changed to

He championed the revival of the Hebrew language and was one of the founders of the Hebrew University.

For the last twenty years of his life, Ussishkin was the chairman of the Jewish National Fund. Ussishkin

should be changed from Shmuel Hanaggid Street to Keren Kayemet L’Yisrael Street. He magnanimously didn’t remove the original street name altogether; rather, he transferred the name Shmuel Hanaggid Street to a

To ensure that no one would consider taking down these new signs, he immediately hired artists to fashion colored ceramic signs for building corners, emblazoned with the name of the new street.

Ussishkin Street. There are a number of stories circulating why and how this name change occurred.

The most famous legend goes as follows: Menachem Ussishkin was one of the leaders of the Zionist movement. As one of the opponents of Herzl’s plan to build the Jewish State in Uganda, he worked tirelessly to organize and settle the Jewish population in Israel.

undoubtedly deserved to be honored with a street named after him. But wouldn’t it make more sense to name a new block after him as opposed to changing an existing street’s name?

A little history is in order: A few years earlier, Ussishkin unilaterally decided that the street where his beloved Jewish National Fund (Keren Kayemet L’Yisrael or KK”L) was headquartered

nearby block. In retrospect, this episode was a hint of what was to come.

In 1933, on his 70th birthday, Ussishkin decided that it made most sense to him to change the name of the street where he lived, and rename it after himself.

That very night, Ussishkin brought in some of his workers to tear down the street signs bearing the name Yehuda Halevi and put up the

new street signs. To ensure that no one would consider taking down these new signs, he immediately hired artists to fashion colored ceramic signs for building corners, emblazoned with the name of the new street.

Notwithstanding Ussishkin’s actions, Rabbi Yehuda Halevi was not forgotten.

When the Old City was returned to Jewish hands in 1967, the steps from Misgach Ladach Street to the Western Wall Plaza were renamed in his memory. This was an extremely appropriate idea as, according to tradition, Rabbi Halevi was fatally run over soon after he immigrated to the Holy Land, while kissing the ground near the Western Wall.

Gedaliah Borvick is the founder of My Israel Home (www.myisraelhome.com), a real estate agency focused on helping people from abroad buy and sell homes in Israel. To sign up for his monthly market updates, contact him at gborvick@ gmail.com.

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The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

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SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home

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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

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Dating Dialogue

What Would You Do If… Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW of The Navidaters

Dear Navidaters,

I’ve been going out with a wonderful young man for a month or so. We were set up by mutual friends and I guess the usual “vetting” never took place, so I didn’t know a great deal about his past, only that he was sincerely frum, kind, humble and growing – all the qualities that I’ve been looking for and are most important to me.

On our last date, he shared with me the fact that he once had a drug problem when he was in high school. It lasted for over a year and then his parents sent him to rehab. Since then, he’s been doing great and he even believes the whole experience has made him a better person in many ways.

I’ve never in my life met anyone who had anything to do with addiction problems, and his confession practically knocked me off my feet. I didn’t even know how to respond because I wasn’t sure how I felt about the whole thing. I told him that though I like him very much, I needed a bit of time to think about it and to decide if I could handle this information.

The truth is, I really like this guy! A lot! He seems to have such a special neshama and is someone I’ve been able to connect with more deeply than anyone else I’ve ever dated. My other and probably bigger concern is that if I decide I can live with this information, how do I tell my parents? I’m sure they will have a horrible reaction and forbid me from seeing him again.

Do you think this is a terrible red flag and that I should just move on? Or do you think I should look past his past and if so, how would I deal with my parents?

The feedback from our readers has been remarkable. In order to facilitate further discussion, you can now continue the conversation anonymously on our website. Every Sunday, we will upload the weekend’s most recent edition of What Would You Do If to the dating forum at thenavidaters.com. Join The Navidaters and your fellow TJH readers in a comprehensive dialogue with regard to dating, relationships and marriage. The forum will be moderated daily for everyone’s comfort and safety. See you there!

Disclaimer: This column is not intended to diagnose or otherwise offer resolutions to any questions. Our intention is not to offer any definitive conclusions to any particular question, but to offer areas of exploration for the author and reader. Due to the nature of the column receiving only a short snapshot of an issue, without the benefit of an actual discussion, the panel’s role is to offer a range of possibilities. We hope to open up meaningful dialogue and individual exploration.

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SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

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The Panel The Rebbetzin

The Mother

Rebbetzin Faigie Horowitz, M.S. have several reactions to your serious questions.

First, continue to see him and talk about it. Express respect and appreciation for his honesty. Get him to open up about his growth during that period and since then as well as his relationship with his parents and how it has changed through the process.

Which people have influenced him for good and for bad and whether his social group has changed are important questions. You are going to have to determine whether he has been stable for a long time. (There is no indication from this query how long it has been since this episode.) You will also want to see clear long term signs of a strong work ethic and a developed sense of responsibility. Whether he is currently pursuing worthwhile goals, education and spiritual objectives are important indicators of where he is at right now.

At the same time, start to reach out to his mentors, rebbeim and others and begin to get a sense of his past and progress from the perspective of others.

Don’t just rely on our own instincts and information gathering. Ask your own mentors and your family rav to help; they may have contacts and relationships that can help. They will certainly process what they hear with objectivity as they care about you.

Give this relationship a lot of time.

A month is way too early to determine whether this relationship has a future.

At some point, with the help of your mentors, you will make a decision whether the dating is going to get more serious or whether you will break it off. If you decide to go ahead, you will need their advice as to how to share his past with your parents.

If your parents have been included in your relationship with your mentors, they will be trusted. They will certainly trust the family rav. But you will need to inform them yourself.

Hopefully, they will have developed a sense of the young man’s menschlechkeit and values. They will have to make their own inquiries, however.

And they may insist on a long trial period.

Sarah Schwartz Schreiber, P.A. nd, oh, by the way, I used to be a drug abuser … but that’s all behind me.” What are you thinking?

Drug abuse in anyone’s past, especially a yeshiva guy’s recent past, is most definitely a red flag. And it’s certainly not the kind of information you withhold from your parents. Any addiction, especially drug, alcohol or others, is just the tip of a very large and complex iceberg. It alludes to a troubled adolescence, poor moral compass, low self-esteem and certainly lack of good judgment.

You sound like a young and very innocent young woman. Why complicate your promising future? The good news is that you’ve known the guy for just a month, so, hopefully, you can bow out gracefully. Not convinced?

Speak to professionals in the field: therapists, social workers, psychologists or rabbis. Ask them if it’s worth risking your future on a recently rehabilitated drug user. When the stakes are your life, I wouldn’t gamble.

I

“A

The Dating Mentor Rochel Chafetz, Educator/Mentor would first suggest that you don’t tell your parents. Secondly, you have to speak to people in this field and really find out what the addiction was exactly. Call up Rabbi Silver of the Five Towns who deals with this on a daily basis. Call drug addict counselors and ask them what the success rate looks like and the potential for relapse. In other words, do your homework.

You are lucky that he shared this information with you. There are many couples who get married and all of a sudden they are told their spouse had a gambling problem or a drug problem, etc. The fact that he was upfront with you and honest goes to show you that he is committed to a clean, uphill life, which is a positive thing.

Find out who helped him after his rehab stint – perhaps a mentor. See if you can speak to him. This is part of the information you need to gather.

But ultimately, no one can make this decision for you. You have to do

I

your homework and feel his genuine commitment and then move from there. It’s a hard call on you. It’s also important to remember that we too have to forgive like Hashem does. But there is also real concern that has to figure in. Hopefully Rabbi Silver from Madraigos will help give you more clarity.

The Single Tova Wein understand that this is a very heavy burden for you to figure out on your own, particularly since you feel you can’t discuss it with your parents right now. I think it’s important to speak to the important people in his life who know him very well and can vouch for his character.

There are no guarantees in life.

Yes, sometimes people relapse. And sometimes, people who dealt with addiction become some of the most amazing people around because of

I

their past challenges and strength to overcome their “teivas.” Like they say, “Life can make you or break you.” It sounds like his journey has brought him to a place of great awareness and maturity.

Frankly, if his rav and others tell you that he is totally clean, and that they believe in him, I have to ask myself whether he is entitled to be given a break and allowed to live a normal life now filled with love and marriage. Personally, I think we all deserve a chance, especially if we’ve worked hard on ourselves and made it through dark times.

I don’t think you should rush into anything. Hopefully, as you continue to learn more about him, your parents will have an opportunity to get to know him better as well. As they find themselves falling for him for the very reasons that are attracting you to him, you’ll share with them his past and hopefully, since they already formed strong feelings for him, they will be able to handle this information. Much luck!

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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Pulling It All Together The Navidaters Dating and Relationship Coaches and Therapists

I

have my work cut out for me with this one! Four different panelists, four different answers.

We have “The Mother” telling you to run for your life. We have “The Single” who believes in second chances.

“Tell your parents,” “Don’t tell your parents.” And we have some neutral advice in between. “Learn more about his past, his drug usage, talk, communicate, don’t leave the relationship just yet.” You (as well as the general “you,” of which I am included) must understand that these are the reflections of the lives the panelists have lived. When we receive “advice” from anyone, it is a combination of that person’s achievements and regrets; of what has worked for that person and what has not worked for that person; and possibly of what that person thinks works for that person but maybe others would disagree. This is a column that gives solicited advice, so we expect that our authors want it.

But when the panelists give such differing advice, my heart breaks a little bit for you, the author of the email.

When you start opening up about this to people (if you do), this is a taste of what is to come: differing opinions.

You asked, “Do you think this is a terrible red flag and that I should just move on? Or do you think I should look past his past and if so, how would I deal with my parents?” Right off the bat I’m going to tell you that my role as a therapist is not to tell you what to do, but to help facilitate your decision making process. I don’t have all the answers … if I did, I would be retiring in Hawaii by now, a very wealthy guru. So, let’s get to that facilitation process, shall we?

First of all, let’s talk about addiction. Most experts in the field of addiction agree that drug/alcohol/sex/ pornography/gambling/food addiction is an unhealthy coping mech-

anism utilized by a person who is in some sort of emotional and sometimes physical pain. Something is going on internally (brain chemistry, mood, temperament, etc.) and/or externally, at home, at school, at work, and the person using the drug is trying to avoid feeling his feelings. I am not an expert in the field of addiction but have dealt with addiction in my practice as a therapist with regard to how it impacts non-using family members and the role that the family may play in the drug use.

Addicts exhibit certain behaviors.

Many addicts are prone to lying, stealing, manipulating, avoiding, externalizing their problems, rationalizing and denying. And yes, being married to an addict of any kind is a difficult life. Many marital therapists will not treat a couple when one member is an active addict; referring to the “bottle” or drug as the “other woman.” The addiction is a competing attachment for love and intimacy, and the therapist will often advise the addicted spouse to seek treatment and stop using before the marital work can continue.

Ah! Deep breaths. As far as you know, at this point, your “boyfriend” is not an active addict. As a matter of fact, he has exhibited very mature and “unaddict-like” behavior and told you the truth, owning up to his past addiction. He also went to rehab (rehabilitation; where people go to get clean, to understand their addiction, why they used, what their triggers are, and learn coping mechanisms and tools to live a full and healthy life free of substances). He gets two gold stars. And a third for staying clean, since.

Here is where I will get practical and give you some ideas, most of which have been presented by the panelists already. First and fore-

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

most, good for you for taking a much needed time out to breathe and think. (And he gets another gold star for his “un-addict-like” behavior. He isn’t needling you, belittling you, pressuring you. He seems to understand that his past behaviors have consequences.

People in the throes of addiction generally deny this.)

I think you need more information. You need to find out which drug he used. Marijuana is very different than Percocet and cocaine.

You need to talk with him about why he used, what was going on in his life when he was using, his understanding of his triggers, and his new coping mechanisms. If he is defensive, or blames other people for his drug usage, then he may not be using but he still has the mindset of an addict. And if you get married, you will be the next person he blames. Now, if he speaks candidly and takes full ownership and can share with you everything he knows about his addiction, then that is a wonderful sign… and it is then that you will have to decide if you can live without a guarantee that this will never happen again.

Some people would never dream of entering this relationship. And some people would move forward with no, little or some hesitation.

And no one is right or wrong. I think it may be wise to speak to a therapist with experience in the area of addiction, with your guy. I think that would be a wonderful opportunity for you to learn about addiction, learn about relapse, learn about your boyfriend’s past addiction, and get feedback from a professional about whether your boyfriend’s behaviors and mindset are stuck in the past or if he is ready to move forward and live a healthy lifestyle with you. You need a safe place to collect your thoughts and get some psychoeducation to help you make a more informed decision.

But remember, listen to your instinct and trust yourself. Your voice and your feelings about this matter in this relationship. If your guy is on board with this plan, then he is a keeper (at least for now). That shows he respects you and is willing to do

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It sounds like his journey has brought him to a place of great awareness and maturity.

the work to keep you. If he has a problem with any of this, then it may be time to close this chapter. I hope this was helpful!

Oh! I forgot to address your question about dealing with your parents should you choose to continue the relationship. If you have an open relationship in which your parents are supportive (which does not mean they agree with everything you say, but that they listen and when they disagree you can all have a productive conversation, and no one leaves feeling threatened, given ultimatums or feeling loved on condition) then tell them if you want to. Or, if you want their guidance or to tell you what to do, then tell them. But, if they will crack the whip, toss you to the curb, forbid the relationship, and you’re not ready to deal with that, then give yourself time to settle into the decision making process by yourself.

In conclusion (of I believe my longest response ever, whew!), life has hurdles. It just does. There are no shortcuts, there is no happily ever after, there is no perfect person or perfect relationship and no one gets out of this life alive. However, you deserve to feel 1,000% percent happy, sure, comfortable, heard, validated, adored, safe and confident about your guy and your relationship should you walk down the aisle.

Sincerely, Jennifer

Esther Mann, LCSW and Jennifer Mann, LCSW are licensed, clinical psychotherapists and dating and relationship coaches working with individuals, couples and families in private practice in Hewlett, NY. To set up an appointment, please call 516.224.7779. Press 1 for Esther, 2 for Jennifer. If you would like to submit a dating or relationship question to the panel anonymously, please email thenavidaters@gmail.com. Follow The Navidaters on FB and IG!

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SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Dr. Deb

Being Emotionally Unavailable

By Deb Hirschhorn, Ph.D.

M

iriam was 58, a popular dentist, and to all intents and purposes, a happy grandmother. Except that when she went to visit the grandchildren, her daughter Rochel was cold. She didn’t have much to say to her mother.

Sometimes, it seemed like when they talked about the past, Rochel said

hurtful things.

Finally, Miriam took it upon herself to put her concerns on the table.

“Why do you bring up the past?” Miriam said, “And why am I always the bad guy? It’s really hurtful. Didn’t I do anything right when you were a girl growing up?”

“Mom, I’m not trying to hurt you.

I certainly don’t want to hurt you.

And I bear you no ill will,” Rochel responded. “But can’t I speak my truth? If you remember things one way and I remember them a different way, and your memory was rosy and mine was painful, do you want me to bite my tongue?”

Now Miriam loved her daughter.

The last thing she would want to do is cause her even more pain by refusing to listen to her feelings.

“Of course not,” Miriam said.

“You should be able to express your feelings. But why was I always the bad one?”

“Mom, when you and dad were divorcing and you were also going to dental school, you just weren’t emotionally available,” Rochel told her. “I was a kid and you were confiding in me things I should not have to know.

Do you know, I sometimes couldn’t fall asleep worrying? And I was 15.

So then how could I share with you how I felt left out socially because I didn’t dress fashionably? To you, that was trivial. How could I pour out my heart when you already poured yours out to me? I felt so alone.”

Miriam was shocked. “Me?” she thought. “Emotionally unavailable?

Wow.” Divorce does that. And so does abuse in the home. Or sickness. Under the pressure of their own problems, parents may break boundaries, triangulating their child into adult matters while at the same time not having a listening ear for the child and his problems.

The adult may think that he re-

ally was available for his child, but as Miriam will learn in a moment, having your heart in the right place is not enough.

“But I loved you! I was always ready to help you and be there for you!” Miriam protested.

“Listen, Ma,” Rochel explained, “you were struggling to support us.

You were in court every other week and going to school. I knew there was no money. What was the point of asking for what didn’t exist?”

Then it hit Miriam: When Rochel was only a teenager, she was protecting her mother. Wow again. She was, in fact, sacrificing herself and her own needs for her mother. And couldn’t tell her.

What Miriam did not do, to her credit, was get defensive. She didn’t explain herself or try to make the bad into good. She took her lumps.

It could be that she confided in her daughter because she wanted her daughter to understand why she was divorcing her father. She did not want Rochel to blame her later on.

Still, that process of confiding left Rochel without an adult to turn to for her own emotional support at a time in her life – being a teenager – when she would have needed it.

Not only did this render Miriam emotionally unavailable to her daughter, but it turned Miriam into a “parentified child.” As we have seen in this scenario, the positive aspect of a teenager taking adult responsibility may be mitigated by the damage of loneliness and insecurity that it creates for the child.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

Miriam wished she could do everything all over again. She’d grown so much and learned so much in the intervening years, surely, she’d have done it better back then if she knew then what she knew now.

advice about adult matters. The child may be happy to give it but the act of having to places an undue burden on the child. It also is scary to her that the adult – you – doesn’t have answers. That creates a terrible feeling

The mistakes of the past actually create opportunities to demonstrate to our loved ones how we’ve changed.

All she can do now is share with you what she learned and what she is still learning. Here are some keys: • Children should not know that you are fighting or what you are fighting about. They should neither overhear nor should you tell them.

Don’t entangle the children.

• You should not ask your child’s

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of insecurity.

• Keep your own counsel but have an open ear to listen to your child. The less he knows about your problems, the more willing he will be to speak to you about his.

• You also have to appear wise to your child in order to gain his willingness to confide in you. The

appearance of wisdom comes from an outer calm and a sense that you are handling things effectively. Deep breathing or meditation is always good. You do not actually have to be wise; few of us really are. That’s what the rest of your life is for.

• Get help to sort things out. Parents need care, too.

Well, it’s not quite true that Miriam can’t “fix” her problem with her daughter. None of us can re-write the past, but the mistakes of the past actually create opportunities to demonstrate to our loved ones how we’ve changed. When they see the changes, it inspires their respect, trust, and connection.

I often tell this to people who claim to have fallen out of love with a spouse that mistreated them. When the mistreatment is replaced with generosity, consideration, sensitivity and thoughtfulness, all the previous victim has to do is notice the changes. It’s all about focus. If you hold on to the pain of the past, you

Natural flavor • Dye free *These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.

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are doomed forever to be in pain. If you notice the improvements in the present, you have created fertile soil for respect to grow.

In turn, the respect that comes from seeing somebody’s growth creates a stronger bond than you ever had, whether it is with your child who you inadvertently hurt by being emotionally unavailable or with your significant other. So there’s hope for Miriam’s relationship with Rochel.

Big as it is, this is only one knotty aspect of being a single parent.

Join me at Kadima from the Cedarhurst JCC on September 14 at 7 PM for “Three Steps to Take if You Have Divorced or Are Thinking about Divorce” and get the big picture.

Dr. Deb Hirschhorn is a Marriage and Family Therapist. She can be reached at 646-54-DRDEB or by writing drdeb@ drdeb.com.

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SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Health & F tness

What is the Glycemic Index?

By Cindy Weinberger MS, RD, CDN

I

t is estimated that 24 million Americans currently have Type II diabetes. Type II diabetes is a growing epidemic worldwide. Diabetes is a disease in which a person has chronic high blood sugar (more than 200mg/dL fasting blood glucose). This is due to the body’s lack of insulin production or because the cells are not responding to the insulin that is being produced. Thus, the glucose receptors inside the cells do not take up the glucose from the blood, resulting in high blood glucose levels, hyperglycemia. Long term hyperglycemia increases one’s risk of developing coronary heart disease and microvascular complications such as neuropathy, kidney and eye disease. Unfortunately, diabetes usually goes hand in hand with other medical conditions, such as obesity, hypertension, and heart disease.

Fortunately, diabetes is preventable and treatable.

One way to treat diabetes is by controlling what food goes into the body. The body reacts differently to each food that is digested. Specific amounts of insulin are sent out to the bloodstream according to the sugar or carbohydrate content of the food.

Certain foods cause your blood sugar to shoot up very quickly. This is because complex carbohydrates, such

as bread and sugars, are easier for the body to break down into glucose.

The glucose then gets used up by the body to form energy. Simple carbohydrates such as whole grains, fruits and vegetables get digested more

more slowly digested and cause a lower and slower rise in blood glucose and therefore insulin levels. A food with a high glycemic index (70 or higher) causes your blood sugar to shoot up very fast. This is be-

When eating instant oatmeal with all the added flavors and junk, the glycemic index jumps.

slowly, so the blood glucose levels do not spike as much.

So how can one tell which foods will send glucose levels skyrocketing? There is something called glycemic index. The glycemic index is a number. It provides information on the carbohydrate content of each food, and therefore predicts how fast your body will convert the food into glucose and thus affects the blood sugar level. A food with a high glycemic index will affect the blood sugar levels significantly, causing a spike in insulin levels, whereas a food with a low glycemic index will have a less drastic effect. Carbohydrates with a low glycemic index (55 or less) are

cause complex carbohydrates such as breads and sugars are easier for the body to break down into glucose.

The glucose then gets used up by the body to form energy. Simple carbohydrates such as whole grains, fruits and vegetables get digested more slowly, so the blood glucose levels do not spike as much. However, glycemic index can change. Two foods with the same amount of carbohydrates can have different a glycemic index. The glycemic index of a food can change depending on the preparation, ripeness of a food, and other foods eaten at the same time. For example, oatmeal is a great, healthy choice for diabetics – when prepared

yourself. When eating instant oatmeal with all the added flavors and junk, the glycemic index jumps.

The glycemic index is generally labeled on packages foods. Lists of glycemic index for common foods can also be found on the internet. A very efficient list is posted by Harvard University at http://www.

health.harvard.edu/diseases-andconditions/glycemic_index_and_ glycemic_load_for_100_foods.

Remember, glycemic index itself is not a diet plan but one of various tools for guiding food choices. For an optimal diabetic diet plan, consult with your dietitian.

Cindy Weinberger MS, RD, CDN, is a Master’s level Registered Dietitian and Certified Dietitian-Nutritionist. She graduated CUNY Brooklyn College receiving a Bachelor’s in Science and Master’s degree in Nutrition and Food Sciences. Her Dietetic Internship was completed under Brooklyn College primarily in Ditmas Park Care Center and Boro Park Center where she developed clinical and education skills to treat patients with comprehensive nutrition care. She is currently a dietitian at Boro Park Center and a private nutrition consultant. She can be reached at Cindy Weinberger1@gmail.com.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

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Health & F tness

Let’s Get Physical

By Hylton I. Lightman, MD, DCH (SA), FAAP

I

t seems like only yesterday when you brought in your precious bundle of joys for their first well visits. And the responsible parents whom you are, you brought them regularly through their infant, toddler and school years for their well visits, making sure they grow and develop normally and receive their vaccines. Now they’re adolescents and you and your children are wondering why they still need to come in for an annual well visit.

Simply put, the annual physical exam is an important aspect of staying healthy.

Adolescence is one of the most dynamic stages of human development. It is a “moving target,” punctuated by dramatic physical, cognitive, social, and emotional change.

Because of the rapid development occurring, many physical and mental health conditions, substance use disorders, and health risk behaviors can first emerge. And we want both the body and mind to continue to grow and develop in the most healthy ways.

A typical adolescent exam includes a review of the medical history. The patient and/or parents often raise concerns in a safe, comfortable and confidential environment.

The physical exam is important.

Typically, the doctor will examine the eyes, ears, nose, throat, mouth, abdomen, back, legs, arms, and thyroid gland. In addition, the doctor will complete an assessment of growth and evaluate pubertal

changes. Screening for hypertension, scoliosis, and obesity may be performed. Scoliosis is when there is a lateral (toward the side) curvature in the normally straight vertical line of the spine. Identified and treated early, it is a “curable” condition that improves the quality of a person’s life.

Parents of teenage boys – prepare your sons to expect a genital exam by a doctor. An exam “down there” is typically less than one minute and can yield important information. Earlier this summer, because of the well exam, I diagnosed a patient with testicular cancer. It was terrifying for all, including me.

Baruch Hashem, his prognosis is excellent.

It’s no secret that adolescents can be more likely to engage in activities that risk their overall health, including smoking, the use and abuse of alcohol and other substances, poor eating and exercise habits, and other physically-endangering behaviors. Therefore, well visits provide opportunities for early identification and appropriate management and intervention for conditions and behaviors that, if not addressed, can become serious and persist into adulthood.

And you should expect your teen to complete a depression screening of about 7-9 questions. This will help your physician to identify of your teen is depressed and at risk thereof and develop modalities for intervention.

Having a healthy body, mind and spirit is a gift from Hashem and is no small feat. Let’s partner with Him to make sure it happens.

Dr. Hylton Lightman is a pediatrician

and Medical Director of Total Family Care of the 5 Towns and Rockaway PC. He can be reached at www.total familycaremd.com, on Instagram at #lightmanpeds or visit him on Facebook.

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SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Madraigos

Do as I Say, Not as I Do

By Chanie Delman, LCSW

“D

o as I say, not as I do,” is a phrase often used by parents when they know that they are not in the middle of one of their best parenting moments. But what are the effects of sending our children these mixed messages? In psychological research and among parenting experts, the topic of inconsistent parenting is a large area of concern.

Although we all know that we have to be good role models because we want our children to learn good behavior from us, do we really take this task seriously?

In child studies, research shows how a toddler will mimic our facial expressions and gestures. If we smile, they will smile, if we kick or hit, they will kick or hit. This is what is called learned behavior or how we nurture our children.

Bandura’s social learning theory states, in pertinent part, that children (and adults new to situations) learn from others in their environment how to behave.

Brain research has demonstrated that there are special cells in the brain called mirror neurons. When we watch someone do something, our mirror neurons become active in the same way as if we ourselves were engaging in the very same behavior we just observed. Eventually we will practice these behaviors.

The same holds true for attitudes, beliefs and feelings.

So we need to be careful what we teach our children in all

of these arenas. Teaching is a process we as parents start from our children’s infancy and lasts through their adulthood.

Our children, no matter what their age, can pick up on our feelings and attitudes. When we complain about something, our children hear us. When we get annoyed at the traffic and yell at the driver in the car next to us, our kids hear and see that too. Being from out-oftown, it took time to get used to New York driving. I know I have become an official New York driver at some point, because my kids shout, “Come on, hurry up!” to the driver in front of us – they must have learned that from somewhere! There is no denying that that my attitude and my actions have directly taught my children a life lesson, and not a very good one at that.

Parents ask how to get kids to love Yiddishkeit. Well, what’s it like in the house on erev Shabbos? Are the parents stressing, screaming and nagging everyone or does a more peaceful environment prevail with perhaps a palpable excitement that Shabbos is coming? Is the message before a fast day one of dread for the impending long day of davening or fasting, or do we communicate a message of hope, optimism and opportunity for teshuva? Do we close the curtains and the lights when someone is collecting for tzedakah or do we welcome them in and offer them

a drink? We don’t have to tell our children to love Yiddishkeit; we have to show them.

We are only human so we all have our inconsistencies.

We scream at our kids for screaming too loud. We may spank our child for hitting a sibling. With some introspection, it will not take too long for each of us to draw up our own lists of inconsistencies.

Understanding the consequences of our inconsistencies is critical. Research points to several consequences of inconsistencies. First, when our behaviors and words are not in concert, the effects of our actions to teach and influence rapidly decreases. The more inconsistent you are, the more you will hear yourself saying, “How many times have I told you not to do that?” Second, children will become more upset with parents who are inconsistent. And let’s be honest, all kids can pick up on their parents’ inconsistencies. The scary part is that although little kids can pick up on it, they often don’t verbalize it until they become adolescents (“but you don’t go to minyan on time either!”).

Third, when we do one thing but say another, research shows that we will be more likely to have children with discipline problems. Then, we end up resorting to punishment to undo what we aren’t even aware that our modeling has caused. It becomes a dangerous cycle of our child acting out, and we punish to

get rid of a behavior learned from us.

Learning by the examples we set is how our children learn – even if they won’t have a chance to show us what they have learned until later. So, how we treat our spouse is most likely how our children will treat their spouses when they grow up.

Dr. Judith Siegel, PhD makes this very point in her book, What Children Learn from Their Parents’ Marriage. If dad comes home after a long hard day and mom greets him at the door, has dinner ready and talks respectfully to him, that’s what the children hear. If dad offers to help mom, thanks mom, defers to mom, then again this is what our children see – and will ultimately practice.

So, be a good role model. Admittedly, this is easier said than done. We are usually overworked and overwhelmed. It is critical for us to get the proper support and self-care that we need. In order to nurture others, we need to nurture ourselves.

Taking care of ourselves looks different for each person. Going to the gym, going for a walk, going out to lunch with a friend, therapy, sup-

port groups, running, a large iced coffee are all forms of self-care that we need to keep ourselves balanced, healthy and positive.

We at Madraigos are excited to be able to help. Starting September, with the help of professional guidance and supervision, Madraigos will host a parent support group geared towards parents of adolescents. We would like to invite and welcome all parents of adolescents to come join our parent support group. We each can gain strength from each other by sharing common experiences and working towards common goals.

For more information, please contact Chanie Delman, LCSW, Clinical Director of Madraigos, at cdelman@madraigos.org or 516-371-3250 #2.

Madraigos, a 501c-3 not-forprofit organization, offers a wide array of innovative services and programs geared towards helping teens and young adults overcome life’s everyday challenges one step at a time. Our goal is to provide all of our members with the necessary tools and skills to empower them to live a healthy lifestyle and become the leaders of tomorrow.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

Introducing

T N E R PA

P U O R G dolescents a f o s t n e r a For p

Gain support from parents in your situation.

Seek advice and guidance from professionals.

The support group series will take place every Monday, beginning

Monday, September 12, 2016 8:00 PM - 9:30 PM at Madraigos 936 Broadway, Woodmere

For more information contact Chanie Delman, LCSW, Clinical Director of Madraigos cdelman@madraigos.org 516-371-3250 ext. 2 936 Broadway, Woodmere, New York 11598 | P: 516.371.3250 F: 516.612.4515 | www.madraigos.org

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SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home

THANK YOU

your tremendous support

STEP BY STEP HELPING OUR YOUTH OF TODAY BECOME THE LEADERS OF TOMORROW

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

Thank you to all our sponsors and participants for your tremendous support.

Your efforts ensured that the 7th Annual Cross River Golf and Tennis Outing to Benefit Madraigos was a great success. May we continue “step by step” to help our youth of today become the leaders of tomorrow.

financial asset management

516-371-3250 • www.madraigos.org • 936 Broadway, Woodmere, NY 11598

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Back to School; Back to Routine

By Susan Schwamm

The first day of school heralds excitement for most students, teachers (and parents) returning to the classroom after a long and wonderful summer. True, some of us still feel that summer has just begun, but as we flip the calendar to September, the reality of the ebbing of a carefree season hits us. No longer can we leisurely get up at 9am and eat breakfast barefoot on the porch.

As our children enter the shining hallways of their schools next week, it’s up to us, their parents, to help them make the entry to a new school year as seamless as possible. We can all empathize with the desire to hit the snooze button one more time on the alarm clock and the urge to play just a few more rounds of basketball after a long day at school. So what can we do to help our children start off their school year on the right foot?

The key to a good start is preparation. It’s important to ease children back into a school year routine gradually. During the summer, when the days are long and the obligations are almost nil, our kids tend to stay out later and hit the sack at a later time than during the school year. For a week or two before school starts, start inching their bedtime up earlier. Keep in mind that children between 5- and 12-years-old need 10 to 11 hours of sleep. Eventually, a few days before school starts, they should be going to sleep and waking up at the time that they would during the school year.

But preparation shouldn’t end there. Even when they do wake up at the regular school-year time, help children with their morning routine so when the bus comes on the first day, they won’t be left heading out to school hungry. Make a list of things that need to be done every morning—get dressed, brush teeth, eat breakfast, grab lunch—and do a practice run the day or two before school starts. Take a walk with them to the bus stop to remind them how long it takes to get there.

Write down what time they need to be out of the house and show them where the clock is. Keep that morning to-do list on the fridge and have your child check things off as they go about their morning routine. This will keep them grounded and help them pace themselves in the morning. There’s nothing worse than sending off your little ones that first day harried and without the proper sustenance that they really need for the long day at school.

Throughout the school year, it helps to spend a few extra minutes in the evening to help ease the morning rush. Have your children place their homework in their knapsacks right after they complete their assignments. Knapsacks should be placed in their proper spots, preferably near the front door.

As parents, think about what you can do to help with the morning dash for the bus. Any notes or signatures that your children need for school should be placed in their knapsacks before you go to sleep. Lay out their clothes—including their shoes—the night before. Prepare their snacks, drinks and lunches (along with a note saying “I love you”) and put them in the fridge in a spot that won’t go unnoticed. You can even set the table for breakfast—bowls, spoons, cups, and cereals can all be put out in the evening.

Even before school starts, it can be overwhelming trying to figure out each child’s schedules. Make sure to use one master calendar to help centralize everyone’s schedules.

It may take time, but once everyone’s days off, after-school activities and obligations are penciled in, it makes things simpler. If you’re using a paper calendar, write each person’s schedules in a different color—don’t forget mom!—to organize things even more.

This system also works well when shopping for school supplies. Every child comes home with a list of all the supplies they need for the year and combined it can be overwhelming—15 glue sticks, anyone? Before shopping, right down everything that you need for all your children. Keep a separate list at home of each child’s needs separately. This way, when you shop, you have one master list that you can use when perusing the aisles.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

Make sure to scan the circulars before heading out the door. During this season, stores have great sales on school supplies, and it’s worth it in the long haul to head to one for notebooks for 17¢ and paper for less than a dollar in another. Between Staples, CVS, Target, Walmart, Amazing Savings and other local stores, you’ll end up capitalizing on great deals.

Being a smart shopper is not just about school supplies. August is the second-biggest sales month for clothing retailers—they’re begging you to buy their items! But before pressing the “buy it” button online, take a few minutes to go through each child’s drawers for what they may need this upcoming year. Have them try on their pants and skirts. Perhaps they can still wear a few things in the fall. Empty drawers and closets of outgrown or worn-out clothing so you can start with a fresh slate.

Empty drawers and closets of outgrown or worn-out clothing so you can start with a fresh slate.

After running around the whole summer, it’s hard to sit down and do loads of homework every day. Help your child by giving them a routine during the summer season. The week or two before school, have them sit with you and do puzzles, read or play quiet games. Giving them quiet time will help them get used to the learning process they’ll be exposed to in school.

Designate a homework spot in the house. Children need a consistent place where they can do their work and study uninterrupted. This may be in their room, or for younger children, it may be in a place where you can sit with your child in case he or she may need you for encouragement or to ask questions. It’s important that there’s limited distractions in this area.

Have sharpened pencils, erasers, paper, books and other items that they may need for homework in their homework area. Make a designated spot for important papers or references they may need to look up. Remind children to put their homework and papers back into their backpacks immediately after completing their assignments.

Even with all the preparations prior to the first day of school, it’s always a challenge to get back into routine the first week back. Try to clear your schedule to make sure you’re there for your children—physically and emotionally.

If you can, try to be home for your child that first week as they step off the bus. Encourage them to talk about their teachers, their new classmates, and their new subjects. Freeze a few easy dinners to keep you available for a chat after school. Some children are more talkative than others, but if they know you’re available and encouraging of their new situation, they will talk about it with more enthusiasm.

Greeting your child after school with a special snack, a warm smile, and a bright “welcome home!” will help them ease back into school and start the year on the right foot.

You can even set the table for breakfast — bowls, spoons, cups, and cereals can all be put out in the evening.

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SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Forgotten Her es

Recap from Rio

By Avi Heiligman

Don’t buy any bridges he’s selling

A

s we did with the 2014 Winter Olympics from Sochi, Russia, we’ll continue the tradition by doing a recap of the 2016 Summer Olympics held in a place that gave media outlets plenty of headline stories months before the games even began. Some storylines were good, like Michael Phelps, Simone Biles, Usain Bolt and the Fiji rugby team absolutely dominating their respective sports.

Other headlines fall into the bad category like Hope Solo’s interview after the U.S. women’s soccer team lost to Sweden and the accommodations of the athletes, fans and media. Ugly things included the Zika virus, green pool water, a Brazilian diving duo breaking up in middle of the competition and the Mongolian coach’s protest. Then there were the stories that can only be describes as “just plain pitiful.” These include referees throwing matches at sports like badminton and the Egyptian judo fighter snubbing Israeli Or Sasson after a match. Finally we get to Ryan Lochte. Man, oh man, did he dig a hole for himself deep as the Grand Canyon. So sit back and relax as we have fun going through the two-plus head-shaking weeks of the Rio Olympics. Please note that

there are so many topics to discuss that we’ll just pick a few of our favorite – some good, some bad, some ugly and some “just plain pitiful.”

First topic to discuss is the location chosen by the IOC (International Olympic Committee) for the 2016 Games. Rio De Janiero beat out Tokyo, Chicago, and Madrid in becoming the first South American city to host the Olympics. Two major concerns with Rio in the year leading up to the games were the Zika virus and the disgusting, filthy sewage water that the long range swimmers would have to go through. In the end, no Zika cases were confirmed to have to come from Rio but the jury is still out on that fact. Other issues before the Games included unfinished venues, limited public transportation which caused major backups on the highways, and costs that went over budget by $1.6 billion. A local banner company failed to deliver most of the signs and banners that were supposed to be on display. There were security issues as well including a bus full of media members being shot at while leaving a women’s basketball game.

The Games themselves had many open seats at the venues and

A political brushoff

TV ratings were down big time.

Strong winds closed down a souvenir shop and caused a rowing team to capsize in middle of an event.

Many rowers also used measures like bleach on their oars and anti-bacterial mouthwash to prevent getting sick from the polluted water.

The Zika virus caused many athletes to stay home including top golfers Rory McIlroy and Jordan Spieth. Golf hadn’t been an Olympic sport since Canadian George Lyon won it all back in 1904. It was a newly built course, and considering that Brazil’s top ranked golfer wasn’t even in the top 500 in the world, the course probably won’t see much action in the future.

Capybaras invaded the course as the golfers tried to play despite the distraction of the giant dog-sized rodents sleeping in sand traps. Israel qualified a female golfer despite only having one golf course in the entire country. Laetita Beck attends Duke University and finished 31st overall out of a field of 60 golfers.

Where to begin with swimmer Ryan Lochte is tough because saying he had a bad experience in Rio wouldn’t be completely truthful

since he did win a gold medal in a relay race with Michael Phelps.

Then, on Sunday, August 14, Lochte, along with swimmers Jack Conger, Gunner Bentz and Jimmy Feigen, said that they were robbed at gunpoint. The claim said that they were in a taxi that was pulled over by four men with police badges who said they owed money for damages. This would have made sense because several tourists had been robbed at gunpoint during the Olympics but surveillance showed them smiling just after the robbery supposedly happened. Later it was confirmed that the whole story was fabricated, and you’ve probably heard about the repercussions in the news.

Besides Lochtegate, swimming was a strongpoint for the Americans. Michael Phelps won five gold medals and a silver bringing his total to 23 golds in five Olympiads and 28 overall medals. His 13 individual gold medals beat a 2,000 year old record set by Leonidas of Rhodes. Katie Ledecky won 4 golds and a silver. A classic then-and-now picture emerged of Ledecky getting an autograph from Phelps when she was just 13-years-old. Phelps returned the favor after she won

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

her gold medals. Simone Manuel became the first African-American Olympian to win an individual swimming gold when she was in the 100 meter freestyle.

One of the diving pools turned green with algae covering the surface. This led to one diver proclaiming “the whole building smells like [gas]” and another comparing it to a swamp. After futile attempts to get rid of the green mess, officials drained a nearby pool and transferred it into the main pool. Brazilian hosts were apologetic over the disaster: “Of course it is an embarrassment because we are hosting the Olympic Games…It should be light blue, transparent. We could have done better in fixing it quickly. We learned a painful lesson the hard way.” China once again ruled diving by taking seven of the eight gold medals. Great Britain won the last gold medal and the U.S. scooped up three medals as well.

Brazil finally won their first Olympic soccer (yes, soccer and not football – which will hopefully be a future Olympic sport) gold ever.

On the women’s side, the heavily favored Americans were eliminated in the quarterfinals to Sweden on penalty kicks. Goalie Hope Solo called Sweden’s players a bunch of cowards which eventually cost her place on the team after the Olympics ended.

Both American basketball teams won gold despite the men having serious competition in three of the games. The gold medal game against Serbia was supposed to be a tight matchup and ended up being a blowout. Coach K won his third gold

Diving into the green pool

medal (well, coaches don’t actually receive medals) in three tries and will hand the reigns off to Gregg Popovich who may or may not have LeBron James on his roster. Time will tell as the superstar regretted not having been on the team.

Two irate Mongolian wrestling coaches deserve mention. An Uzbek wrestler appeared to have lost to his Mongol opponent in a bronze medal matchup but challenged the scoring. He claimed that the Mongol was running away from him in the last few seconds to secure the win. The judges changed the scoring and the Mongolian coaches went into a tirade that included them taking off their shirts, shoes and one pair of pants. This was after three Olympic judges had been removed after a scandal in an earlier match involving the same Uzbek.

French gymnast Samir Ait Said broke his leg on the vault and to add insult to injury was dropped while on a stretcher out of the building.

An Egyptian judo fighter was told to go home after refusing to shake hands with bronze medalist Israeli Or Sasson.

Last but not least we cannot forget those cheaters from Russia.

Pretty much the entire country including Vladimir Putin himself was in on this doping scandal. In the end, 217 of Russia’s 389 athletes were allowed to compete and won 56 medals in total. 67 track and field athletes were banned with only whistleblower Darya Klishina competing.

All in all it was a scandalous Olympics that will go down in history by some as a colossal failure and

A lot of gold

by many as a mixed bag. Too many problems with Rio itself made it a poor choice by the IOC which itself has been fraught with allegations of bribery and corruption. Hopefully the 2020 Tokyo Olympics will run a lot smoother. That being said, the competition and athletes put on a good show, and for the media types, well, let’s just say they had

a field day – at least the ones that didn’t get robbed on the way from their hotel.

Avi Heiligman is a weekly contributor to The Jewish Home. He welcomes your comments and suggestions for future columns and can be reached at aviheiligman@gmail.com.

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SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home OctOber 29, 2015 | the Jewish Home

In The K

tchen

Chips ‘n’ Dips

by Naomi Nachman

With the kids home from camp and the school year not yet started, we are all home trying to keep ourselves and our kids busy. My children are very helpful in the kitchen (for which I am grateful). One of the ways we keep busy during this period is for me and the kids to make recipes from scratch. Growing up in Australia, pre-prepackaged kosher food was limited. If we wanted to eat kosher French fries (or, as we call them in Australia, “Hot Chips”), you couldn’t

Perfect French Fries aka Hot Chips Ingredients 5 lbs russet potatoes Vegetable or peanut oil for frying Sea salt

Preparation Peel and rinse the potatoes, then cut them into sticks by cutting the potato in four or five vertical pieces, then cutting each piece into sticks. Place them in a large bowl and cover with cold water, then allow them to soak for two or three hours.

(You can also stick them in the fridge and let them soak for several hours or overnight.)

When you’re ready to make the fries, drain off the water and lay them on two baking sheets lined with paper towels. Blot them with paper towels to dry them.

just go to the local supermarket to buy a bag and fry them up. You would have to peel the potatoes and cut them up yourself – which is no easy task. I wanted to make that point to my kids. So one afternoon recently my kids and I peeled, cut up and then fried 10 pounds of potatoes, and made all kinds of dipping sauces to go with them. My kids now very much appreciate the fact that we can buy kosher French fries locally!

Heat a few inches of oil in a heavy pot to 300°F. In 3 or 4 batches, cook the potatoes for about 4 to 5 minutes per batch, or until the potatoes are soft. They should not be brown at all at this point!

You just want to start the cooking process.

Remove each batch and drain them on new/dry paper towels.

Once all the potatoes have been fried, turn up the heat until the oil reaches 375°F. When the oil is hot, start frying the potatoes in batches again, cooking until the fries are golden and crisp. Remove from the oil and drain on paper towels.

Sprinkle fries with sea salt before serving.

Dipping Sauces

¼ teaspoon smoked paprika Pinch of salt ¼ teaspoon black pepper

Spicy Chili Mayonnaise Creamy Garlic Dipping Sauce 1/3 cup mayonnaise ¼ cup sour cream 2 cloves minced garlic

1 cup mayonnaise 2 teaspoons Sriracha sauce 1 teaspoons garlic chili sauce 1 teaspoon lemon juice or lime juice

Naomi Nachman, the owner of The Aussie Gourmet, caters weekly and Shabbat/ Yom Tov meals for families and individuals within The Five Towns and neighboring communities, with a specialty in Pesach catering. Naomi is a contributing editor to this paper and also produces and hosts her own weekly radio show on the Nachum Segal Network stream called “A Table for Two with Naomi Nachman.” Naomi gives cooking presentations for organizations and private groups throughout the New York/New Jersey Metropolitan area. In addition, Naomi has been a guest host on the QVC TV network and has been featured in cookbooks, magazines as well as other media covering topics related to cuisine preparation and personal chefs. To obtain additional recipes, join The Aussie Gourmet on Facebook or visit Naomi’s blog. Naomi can be reached through her website, www.theaussiegourmet. com or at (516) 295-9669.

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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

In The K

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tchen

By Naomi Nachman

I am always looking for a new twist on a traditional recipe. This summer, when basil was at its seasonal peak, I made lots of pesto sauce. I had so much I didn’t know what to do with it!

I started putting my homemade pesto into everything: from salad dressings and marinades, to soups and even into mac ‘n’ cheese. The mac ‘n’ cheese was so popular with my family and friends when I served it, and the pesto gave a nice hint of green color to the dish. The original recipe came from my friend Melinda Strauss of Kitchen-Tested.com, whose mom used to make it for her growing up in Seattle, Washington.

Pesto Mac ‘N’ Cheese adapted from Kitchen-tested.com

Ingredients 3 Tbsp unsalted butter 2 Tbsp all-purpose flour 2 cups whole or 2% milk 2 tsp Dijon mustard ½ tsp salt ¼ tsp pepper 1/8 tsp ground nutmeg ¼ cup pesto sauce (store bought or homemade) 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese ½ cup shredded mozzarella cheese ½ cup cubed American cheese ¼ cup grated parmesan cheese 4 Tbsp breadcrumbs + additional butter 4 cups cooked elbow pasta

Preparation Preheat the oven to 375°F. To make the béchamel cheese sauce, melt the butter over medium heat in a large saucepan for 1 minute. Add the flour and stir with a wooden spoon until thick, around 30 seconds. Add the milk, mustard, salt, pepper, nutmeg and pesto sauce and stir until bubbling and thick, around 5-7 minutes. Add the

cheddar, mozzarella and American cheese and stir to combine.

Pour the sauce over the pasta.

Combine the parmesan and breadcrumbs and sprinkle over the cheesy pasta.

Dollop around 2 tablespoons of butter over the crumbs.

Baked uncovered for 30-35 minutes.

Homemade Pesto Sauce Ingredients 2 cups fresh basil leaves (no stems) 2 tablespoons pine nuts or walnuts 2 large cloves garlic ½ cup extra-virgin olive oil ½ cup freshly grated parmesan cheese (omit if you want to keep it parve)

Preparation Combine basil leaves, pine nuts and garlic in a food processor and process until very finely minced.

With the machine running, slowly dribble in the oil and process until the mixture is smooth.

Add the cheese and process very briefly, just long enough to combine. Store in the refrigerator or freezer.

Naomi Nachman, the owner of The Aussie Gourmet, caters weekly and Shabbat/ Yom Tov meals for families and individuals within The Five Towns and neighboring communities, with a specialty in Pesach catering. Naomi is a contributing editor to this paper and also produces and hosts her own weekly radio show on the Nachum Segal Network stream called “A Table for Two with Naomi Nachman.” Naomi gives cooking presentations for organizations and private groups throughout the New York/New Jersey Metropolitan area. In addition, Naomi has been a guest host on the QVC TV network and has been featured in cookbooks, magazines as well as other media covering topics related to cuisine preparation and personal chefs. To obtain additional recipes, join The Aussie Gourmet on Facebook or visit Naomi’s blog. Naomi can be reached through her website, www.theaussiegourmet. com or at (516) 295-9669.

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Notable Quotes “Say What?!”

Do you think that Hillary Clinton could produce a crowd with this kind of enthusiasm? I can think of only one really enthusiastic crowd that would gather for Hillary Clinton: a grand jury.

– Rudy Giuliani at a Trump rally

Kim Jong Un reportedly threw a huge outdoor dance party on Thursday to celebrate the successful test of North Korea’s ballistic missile. Residents described the party as fun, exciting, and mandatory.

– Jimmy Fallon

Remember this: No country is immune from terrorism. It’s easy to terrorize. Government and law enforcement have to be correct 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. But if you decide one day you’re going to be a terrorist and you’re willing to kill yourself, you can go out and kill some people. You can make some noise. Perhaps the media would do us all a service if they didn’t cover it quite as much. People wouldn’t know what’s going on.

- Secretary of State John Kerry, in Bangladesh

Apparently Ryan Lochte lost all four of his endorsement deals yesterday following his Rio robbery scandal. In fact he’s so desperate for money, he’s actually considering robbing a gas station.

– Jimmy Fallon

On Saturday, Hillary Clinton will receive her first official intelligence briefing as a candidate.

Officials plan to tell Hillary about threats to U.S. cybersecurity such as Russia, China, and her.

In a new election bombshell, the State Department has been ordered by a federal judge to produce nearly 15,000 of Hillary Clinton’s unreleased emails. I don’t want to say Hillary is worried about this story blowing up, but today she asked Ryan Lochte to make up another robbery.

– James Corden

A restaurant in Manhattan has created a $15, 25-ounce milkshake, which comes in a cream cheese frosted glass covered in marshmallows and cereal, filled with ice cream and topped with a cinnamon bun. At least that’s what it said on the toxicology report.

– Seth Myers

– Conan O’Brien

MORE QUOTES

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[T]here’s a lot of smoke and there’s no fire.

– Hillary Clinton on CNN, responding to an Associate Press article which found that more than 50% of the people that Hillary met while Sec. of State donated money to the Clinton Foundation

Journalists have tried contacting Hillary about this damaging email development. Unfortunately, they keep getting auto-replies that say, “Sorry, I am out of the Oval Office until January.”

– James Corden

Not only is he reaching out to the Hispanic vote, he’s been reaching out to the black community. Donald Trump said he loves African-Americans, in fact some of his best credit cards are black.

– Jimmy Kimmel

I think Hillary has a Hillary problem.

– Trump campaign manager Kellyanne Conway

Astronaut Jeffrey Williams just set the U.S. record for most days in space, reaching the milestone of 521 days. It’s less of an accomplishment after NASA admitted they sort of forgot he was up there.

– Jimmy Fallon

Politico is now reporting that Hillary Clinton’s campaign is using a runout-the-clock strategy against Donald Trump, hoping to just outlast him until November. “Sounds like a good plan,” said Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, Jeb Bush, and John Kasich.

– Jimmy Fallon

The Trump campaign said pollsters aren’t counting people who are afraid to say they’re Trump supporters. That’s right, because Trump supporters are very, very shy.

The Boston Globe just reported that according to his campaign staff, Donald Trump wouldn’t take any vacations as president. I think that’s because he has offended so many other countries he can’t leave this one.

– Jimmy Fallon

In other Clinton news, her campaign manager, Robby Mook, said in an interview on CNN that they are having a hard time finding someone as “hateful” and “divisive” as Trump to go up against Hillary in her practice debates. It seems like it’d be easy to prep for a Trump debate — just get a parrot and train it to say three things: “email,” “wall,” and “huge.”

– James Corden

– Conan O’Brien

There’s a new report that says that the sales of canned wine are on the rise. Finally, people that drink boxed wines have someone to look down on.

– Jimmy Fallon

MORE QUOTES

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Yeshiva Ketana of Long Island

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SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Some of us have heads that listen better when doing something brain dead at the same time. We are not all alike.

– Norwegian Liberal Party leader Trine Skei Grande, after she was caught playing Pokemon Go on her smartphone during a parliamentary hearing about the country’s defense policy

Donald Trump’s campaign is now saying he didn’t change his immigration plan, he just changed the words he used to describe it.

They also said Trump hasn’t been married three times, he’s just changed the person he calls “wife.”

– Conan O’Brien

Perhaps if I donate to the Clinton Foundation her views on me might soften.

- Nigel Farage, Member of the European Parliament and Brexit advocate, responding to criticism from Hillary Clinton

Forget being unfit to be president. He’s unfit to be human.

- Media pundit Ana Navarro on ABC, talking about Donald Trump

MORE QUOTES

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Donald Trump’s campaign manager, Kellyanne Conway, spoke about Trump’s new immigration policy over the weekend and said he will ensure that enforcement is humane. Humane? I don’t think it’s a good sign when a candidate is talking about undocumented immigrants the same way KFC talks about chickens.

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

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A developer in New York wants to build an IHOP on top of a Revolutionary War cemetery.

IHOP’s CEO said, “It makes sense; we’ve killed more Americans than the British ever did.”

– Conan O’Brien

– Seth Myers

[H]illary Clinton is surrounded by Jew haters who make fun of the Holocaust & Jewish suffering yet her MKUltra supporters call Trump a bigot!

– Tweet by Roseanne Barr

KFC just unveiled a sunscreen that smells like extra crispy fried chicken. So if you want to smell like KFC ... there’s a pretty good chance you already do.

– Jimmy Fallon

A 12-year-old boy is actually running one of Trump’s campaign offices in Colorado. When asked how an inexperienced child could be running things, the boy said, “Look, he’s the nominee and we’re stuck with him.”

– Jimmy Fallon

The leader of England’s Brexit movement spoke at a Trump rally and he said, “I wouldn’t vote for Clinton if you paid me.” So in other words, Hillary has lost the critical “People Who Live in England” vote.

– Conan O’Brien

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

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SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Political Crossfire

Trump’s Repellant Inner Circle

By Michael Gerson

D

onald Trump is undergoing his own “extreme vetting.”

And we are learning a great deal about the quality of his public pledges.

In no particular order, Trump has shifted his position on raising the federal minimum wage (against it, for it, get rid of it, leave it to the states, put it at 10$ an hour); on fighting Islamic State (bomb the “he[ck] out of them” and take the oil fields, let our regional allies take the lead, declare war and send in troops, let Russia take care of it ); on taxes for the wealthy (increase them, cut them dramatically, make the wealthy pay more, make everyone pay less); on his Muslim ban (exclude all Muslims, keep Muslims out except for members of the military and current residents, it was “just a suggestion,” ban Muslims from countries with a history of terrorism, impose “extreme vetting”); on the national debt (eliminate it in eight years, prioritize massive infrastructure spending, renegotiate debt with creditors, just “print the money”).

Now, concerning his defining promise to round up and deport 11 million undocumented men, women and children, Trump

is undergoing a rapid, convulsive transition from Mr. Hyde into Dr. Jekyll. In the movies, this role would require hours in the chair of a highly skilled makeup artist. Trump has Sean Hannity.

For much of Trump’s fan base, these details couldn’t matter less. The Trump revolution is mainly a matter of personnel, not policy. Put the right man in charge who will hire the “best people” and fire all the corrupt, stupid failures. Trump’s primary appeal – and his main source of self-regard – is his skill as a negotiator, manager and talent scout.

Here we are also getting a good feel for the candidate.

Trump’s campaign has been a roiling, noxious, dysfunctional mess from the start, characterized by public feuds, subject to sudden leadership changes and unable to fulfill key functions (like actually having a campaign apparatus in key states). And Trump’s personnel selections have been both instructive and disastrous.

Consider this list of Trump’s chosen: Former campaign manager Corey Lewandowski had a brutal and demeaning style that resulted in a staff revolt, and his manhandling of a female reporter overshadowed the

Trump campaign for weeks.

Former campaign chairman Paul Manafort was paid lucrative consulting fees by foreign interests, and resigned after reports that Ukraine anti-corruption investigators were scrutinizing millions in alleged payments there.

Longtime adviser Roger Stone is a crackpot conspiracy theorist who asserts that Bill and Hillary Clinton are “plausibly responsible” for the deaths of roughly 40 people and that Hillary Clinton should be “executed for murder.” Confidante Roger Ailes recently stepped down from his job at Fox under a cloud of harassment claims. And Steve Bannon, Trump’s new campaign chief executive, is known for his bullying tactics and for running a website (Breitbart News) that flirts with white nationalism.

There are a few exceptions to this pattern – Kellyanne Conway and Mike Pence come to mind – but Trump has hired and elevated some of the very worst people in American politics, known for their cruelty, radicalism, prejudice and corruption.

What does all this say about Trump as a prospective president?

First, it means that the ideal of leadership Trump

displayed as a reality television star is his actual view of leadership. It is not an act. In Trump’s view, leaders elevate themselves by belittling others. They yell and abuse and bully.

And their most important quality is absolute loyalty to the great leader, the star of the show. This is a view of leadership that would make

rhetoric is belied by his choice of friends and associates.

Finally, ideology doesn’t seem to be the main criteria in Trump’s selections. The hiring of Bannon does make Trump’s appeal to the altright explicit. But Breitbart is mainly known in this election for slavish devotion to the cult of Trump. This attri-

First, it means that the ideal of leadership Trump displayed as a reality television star is his actual view of leadership. It is not an act.

H.R. Haldeman cringe.

Second, Trump has managed to pick a team that directly undermines many of his campaign objectives.

Need to appeal to women?

Include a man in your inner circle accused by many of misogyny. Need to appeal to minorities? Elevate a figure associated with the racially divisive alt-right. Need to challenge the corrupt status quo in Washington? Hire a consultant for oppressive governments.

Trump’s

bute may well guide most of Trump’s top-level personnel choices, including for the Supreme Court.

Trump, more than most, needs to surround himself with people who compensate for his alarming weaknesses.

Instead, his choices demonstrate and amplify those weaknesses, becoming one more reason to utterly reject his leadership. (c) 2016, Washington Post Writers Group

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

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SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Political Crossfire

The Bribery Standard

By Charles Krauthammer

B

ernie Sanders never understood the epic quality of the Clinton scandals. In his first debate, he famously dismissed the email issue, it being beneath the dignity of a great revolutionary to deal in things so tawdry and straightforward.

Sanders failed to understand that Clinton scandals are sprawling, multilayered, complex things. They defy time and space. They grow and burrow.

The central problem with Hillary Clinton’s emails was not the classified material. It wasn’t the headline-making charge by the FBI director of her extreme carelessness in handling it.

That’s a serious offense, to be sure, and could very well have been grounds for indictment. And it did damage her politically, exposing her sense of abovethe-law entitlement and – in her dodges and prevarications, her parsing and evasions – demonstrating her arm’s-length relationship with the truth.

But it was always something of a sideshow.

The real question wasn’t classification but: Why did she have a private server in the first place? She obviously lied about the purpose. It

wasn’t convenience. It was concealment. What exactly was she hiding?

Was this merely the prudent paranoia of someone who habitually walks the line of legality?

After all, if she controls the server, she controls the evidence, and can destroy it – as she did 30,000 emails – at will.

But destroy what?

Remember: She set up the system before even taking office. It’s clear what she wanted to protect from scrutiny: Clinton Foundation business.

The foundation is a massive family enterprise disguised as a charity, an opaque and elaborate mechanism for sucking money from the rich and the tyrannous to be channeled to Clinton Inc. Its purpose is to maintain the Clintons’ lifestyle (offices, travel, accommodations, etc.), secure profitable connections, produce favorable publicity and reliably employ a vast entourage of retainers, ready to serve today and at the coming Clinton Restoration.

Now we learn how the whole machine operated.

Two weeks ago, emails began dribbling out showing foundation officials

contacting State Department counterparts to ask favors for foundation “friends.”

Say, a meeting with the State Department’s “substance person” on Lebanon for one particularly generous Lebanese-Nigerian billionaire.

Big deal, said the Clinton defenders. Low-level stuff.

No involvement of the secretary herself. Until – drip, drip – the next batch revealed foundation requests for face time with the secretary herself. Such as one from the crown prince of Bahrain.

To be sure, Bahrain, home of the Fifth Fleet, is an important Persian Gulf ally. Its crown prince shouldn’t have to go through a foundation – to which his government donated at least $50,000 – to get to the secretary. The fact that he did is telling.

Now, a further drip: The Associated Press found that over half the private interests who were granted phone or personal contact with Secretary Clinton – 85 of 154 – were donors to the foundation. Total contributions? As much as $156 million.

Current Clinton response? There was no quid pro quo.

What a long way we’ve

come. This is the very last line of defense. Yes, it’s obvious that access and influence were sold. But no one has demonstrated definitively that the donors received something tangible of value – a pipeline, a permit,

... I call them, they are there for me.” This is considered routine and unremarkable.

It’s not until a Rolex shows up on your wrist that you get indicted. Or you are found to have dangled a Senate appointment for

With thousands more emails to come, who knows what lies beneath.

a waiver, a favorable regulatory ruling – in exchange.

It’s hard to believe the Clinton folks would be stupid enough to commit something so blatant to writing. Nonetheless, there might be an email allusion to some such conversation. With thousands more emails to come, who knows what lies beneath.

On the face of it, it’s rather odd that a visible quid pro quo is the bright line for malfeasance. Anything short of that – the country is awash with political money that buys access – is deemed acceptable. As Donald Trump says of his own donation-giving days, “when I need something from them

cash. Then, like Rod Blagojevich, you go to jail. (He got 14 years.)

Yet we are hardly bothered by the routine practice of presidents rewarding big donors with cushy ambassadorships, appointments to portentous boards or invitations to state dinners.

The bright line seems to be outright bribery.

Anything short of that is considered – not just for the Clintons, for everyone – acceptable corruption.

It’s a sorry standard.

And right now it is Hillary Clinton’s saving grace. (c) 2016, The Washington Post Writers Group

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

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SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Hire

Education

Sweaty Eyeballs

By Rabbi Mordechai Kruger

I

wasn’t expecting the tears. I know that there are speakers and counselors that are able to reach deep into an experience, where the real emotions are found, and from there the tears begin to flow. I once heard that when Rebbitzen Jungreis, a”h, addressed a group of battle-hardened army officers, they couldn’t admit that she had brought them to tears. So they called it “sweaty eyeballs.” But I talk to people about how to find a job or choose a career, and sometimes about how to start a business. I try to build confidence, to bring my clients to a more optimistic outlook on life. So I wasn’t expecting the tears.

I could understand that there might be tears if I was able to wave a magic wand and my clients would have the jobs of their dreams. There would be an understandable rush of emotion, an enveloping relief because the stress, the frustration, the fear would be over. There will be a job, there will be a paycheck, the bills will be paid, dignity will be restored.

If I could create moments like that, I would probably be crying, too. But I don’t have a magic wand. The best possible outcome of a session with me is that the client has a clear grasp of the next steps he has to take to move himself closer to the job he really wants and the confidence he needs to actually take them. I’m a job search coach. Like the coach of a gold medal winning Olympian, I teach each client how to maximize what they can accomplish with their own unique set of skills, talents, and goals. And like that athlete, my clients have to then go out and do the hard work of job hunting themselves. When it finally happens that they find that gold medal job of their dreams, they may

be deeply moved. But the tears that I have seen somehow seem different.

There’s a fellow I worked with who wanted to start his own business. While most of my clients want to be hired by an employer, it can happen that the best possible job for a client is one that he’ll create himself, and that was certainly the case here. But the road we were walking together had some serious bumps early on. It was only later that there were tears.

He came to me with an idea, to market a chochke that he had invented. So the first question to ask when marketing something new is, “Why would someone want this?

What need does it answer, and does it answer it in the best way possible?”

These questions set off a series of improvements, which led to rethinking the entire concept, which led to creating something else entirely, something that really was an amazing idea. So amazing, in fact, that it has already been invented and marketed and is selling very well. So all that work – and it was substantial – went down the drain with nothing to show for the effort. That would have been worth a tear or two, but the tears came later.

That client didn’t give up. A week later he was back, with another idea, something entirely different and creative and new. And as we started talking about what steps would come next, the tears began to flow. I didn’t ask what they meant, I just waited.

He turned and said, “You don’t understand what you’ve done for me.”

Which was true, as it seemed to me that we had done a lot of work and ended up back at square one. “For years, I’ve been thinking of things that might become a business – all

kinds of ideas, inventions, services – and none of them went anywhere.

I never even told anyone about them because I was sure that big ideas, successful ideas, are thought up by other people, people with experience, with business success in their background, but not me.

“What I’ve learned here is that my ideas are real. That I can develop them into something valuable and important, something that will support my family. Now it’s just a question of time and effort, but I know that it’s in my hands.” That’s when the tears came.

problem, compartmentalization.

That means continuing to do what you have to by day, while you follow your dreams and talents at night and on Sundays. But then we talked about a solution that takes the opposite approach, synthesis. About deciding to do his work in a truly unique way.

About reigniting his creativity and embracing his background while working in his current field, so that his work could truly express his entire self. About seeking more sophisticated clients who could appreciate and reward his efforts. That’s when the tears came.

“Now it’s just a question of time and effort, but I know that it’s in my hands.”

Another fellow had turned away from a fulfilling and successful career when he became an observant Jew. First because he wanted to spend time on Torah learning, then because he couldn’t see functioning as an Orthodox Jew in that environment, he concluded that he had to leave that part of his life behind. He managed to move on to another field, and while he does make a living, sadly, he dreads every day. When he meets people he prays that they don’t ask him what kind of work he does.

For him, the words, “I work in ___” just hurt too much. He came to me hoping to find a way to regain the energy, the joy that he had once found in his work.

We talked about the “normal” solution for this all-too-common

I have long been aware of the importance of following a dream, a personal vision of what could be.

But these clients have taught me that for many people, probably more often than we realize, not following a dream throws a pall over everything, a throbbing ache caused by turning away from what is most real inside of us. These clients have taught me how deeply it is true that the pathway to a successful career must begin with connecting to what is best within us.

Rabbi Mordechai Kruger’s Job Search for Champions has helped clients of all kinds find the jobs they really want.

He can be reached at jobsearchfor champions@gmail.com

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

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SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home

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SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home

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The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

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SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home

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Sunny & Spacious 2 Bedroom, 1 Bath Co-Op W/1 Parking Spot Included & Storage, Close To All...$115K Call Carol Braunstein (516) 295-3000 www.pugatch.com FAR ROCKAWAY 833 Central Avenue 1st floor, balcony, doorman.

Completely renovated, near LIRR 2BR/2 full bath, 2 DW/sinks, wood cabinets, granite counters $369 Call 917-572-9644

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The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

Classifieds classifieds@fivetownsjewishhome.com / text 443-929-4003 CO-OP FOR SALE

HELP WANTED

HELP WANTED

FAR ROCKAWAY 833 Central ,1st floor, balcony, doorman Completely renovated, near LIRR 2BR/2 full bath, 2 DW/sinks, wood cabinets, granite counters $389 917-572-9644

WELL-ESTABLISHED HEALTHCARE AGENCY IS SEEKING A MEDICAL RECEPTIONIST FOR ONE OF OUR CLINICS IN FAR ROCKAWAY. Please forward all resumes to careers@nhcc.us

SCIENCE TEACHER AND COMPUTER TEACHER BOYS H.S. M-THU, FLEXIBLE HOURS Email jobsatyeshiva@gmail.com

APT FOR RENT LARGE ONE BEDROOM APT. IN LAWRENCE Close to train, underground parking, spacious living room/dining area.

Motivated seller $118,000.

Call 917-299-8082 CEDARHURST 500-3,500 +/- SF Beautiful, newly renovated space for rent. Ideal for Retail or Executive offices. Prime location. Convenient Parking.

Call Sam @ 516-612-2433 or 718-747-8080 FAR ROCKAWAY 3 bedroom apartment. On second floor in a 3 family home. Two bathrooms, 2 balconies. Kosher kitchen with 2 sinks. Ideal for a couple or 3-4 girls.

Call 516 225 4558

SALES PERSON WANTED Great Income Potential!

Requirements- Must currently be employed selling goods and services to companies.

Compensation: Generous commission Contact: amnonaroya@gmail.com for more information Shulamith Early Childhood is looking to hire a full time teacher assistant for the upcoming school year.

Please email resume to earlychildhood@shulamith.org COMPUTER TEACHER NEEDED FOR BOYS/GIRLS ELEMENTARY SCHOOL AFTERNOON email elementaryschooljobs@gmail.com SECULAR STUDIES 6TH GRADE BOYS SEEKS TEACHER Afternoons M-Thurs. Email: elementaryschooljobs@gmail.com

ELEMENTARY SCHOOL GENERAL STUDIES TEACHER Mon-Thurs. Email elementaryschooljobs@gmail.com ASSISTANT MORAH Looking for a heimish, post-high school girl to work as a warm and loving assistant Morah in a 2 year old Far Rockaway playgroup. Hours are 9-3 (12:00 Friday). Good pay, vacation, and sick days. For more information, please email dose1120@aol.com.

OVERNIGHT\ WEEKEND COUNSELOR Responsible and exp’d staff to live in a beautiful group home & work 3 nights\week 7pm - 9am. Staff are not req’d to remain awake after 11pm. Staff are req’d to work two weekends per month. Free rent & food. Stipend given as well. Great for college girl.

For additional info contact Frayde Yudkowsky @732.948.4636 orfyudkowsky@evolvetreatment.com

HELP WANTED PARA PROFESSIONAL Motivated Individuals Work with children with special needs (ASD) Weekday, weekend hours Cases available in Queens, Long Island Flexible hours Excellent rates Call:516-213-3338 Email Resume: HR@proudmomentsaba.com

Lev Chana Early Childhood Center, Hewlett, NY is seeking a FULL TIME ASSISTANT TEACHER for 2016-2017. Candidate should be warm, loving, organized and pursuing a degree in education or related field.

Resumes to morahfelecie@halb.org ASSISTANTS FOR ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, AFTERNOON HOURS Email: elementaryschooljobs@gmail.com

Hot On The Market!

NEW EXLCUSIVE!

$899,000 298 Linwood Avenue, Cedarhurst, NY 5 bedrooms 3.5 Bath Colonial Low taxes, Will sell fast!

$1.1 Million 553 Green Place, Woodmere, NY Huge Property in Prime Location

Judah Spector

Lori & Associates LI Realty Inc. 94 Spruce St. Cedarhurst, NY 11516 516.524.8088

NEW

$579,000 800 Lanett Avenue, Far Rockaway, NY Legal 2 Family in Prime Location

$3.5 Million 127 Willow Road, Woodsburgh, NY Last Of The Grand Estates In Woodsburgh On an Acre of Land

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SEPTEMBER 1, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Classifieds

classifieds@fivetownsjewishhome.com / text 443-929-4003

HELP WANTED EXPERIENCED REAL ESTATE SALES AGENT needed for a HIGH Producing real estate office who is seeking an opportunity to Earn & Learn more!!!

Call Today (516) 295-3000 x 128.

All calls kept confidential.

BAIS YAAKOV IN FAR ROCKAWAY SEEKING ASS’T TEACHERS. Please call 718-868-3232 between 10am-1pm or send resume to teachingpositions1@gmail.com YESHIVA KETANA OF QUEENS IS SEEKS THIRD GRADE TEACHER. 4 days a week. Fine salary, excellent atmosphere. Send resume torlswia@aol.com or call 917-742-8909 F/T DAYHAB TRAINER POSITIONS IN FAR ROCKAWAY for caring individuals to involve adults with developmental disabilities in skill development while encouraging them to become more independent. Valid driver’s license required.

OHEL BAIS EZRA 718-686-3102 www.ohelfamily.org/careers YESHIVA NEAR BROOKLYN/5 TOWNS Looking for Responsible Bachur or Yungerman to manage the kitchen and maintenance and assist the office with misc. jobs.

Driver License required. Car a plus Email Resume: office@ymhbh.com FAX: 718-634-4510 EXPERIENCED REAL ESTATE SALES AGENT needed for a HIGH Producing real estate office who is seeking an opportunity to Earn & Learn more!!!

Call Today (516) 295-3000 x 128. All calls kept confidential We are looking to hire a MARKETING/SALES SPECIALIST Job requirements: Your own car and internet savvy. Hob has unlimited income potential. Don’t delay, give us a call at 917-612-2300 REAL ESTATE INVESTMENT AND DEVELOPMENT FIRM based out of Queens seeks motivated individuals to join our Acquisitions team.

High Commissions paid, No splits.

Info@zreny.com 718-285-0931 Growing company in the 5 Towns is seeking motivated, confident, out-going employee for full time bookkeeping/accounting.

Must have professional bookkeeping experience, and strong teamwork skills Please submit qualified resume to admin@getpeyd.com

HELP WANTED QUEENS MESIVTA IN SEARCH OF SECULAR STUDIES TEACHER FOR AFTERNOON HOURS. Prior teaching experience of 3 years required.

Please send your resume to jobhunt613@gmail.com PART TIME AND FULL TIME BOOKKEEPING POSITION Fast growing accounting and consulting firm seeks a qualified individual to assist our accounting staff in providing bookkeeping services for our clients. Qualified individuals will have the opportunity to join our employee friendly culture At least 2 years working experience Working knowledge of Microsoft Office, QuickBooks a MUST Email – info@smallbizoutsource.com YESHIVA KETANA OF LONG ISLAND SEEKS FULL TIME SECRETARY for busy school office. Organized, friendly and able to multi task.

Experienced only. Please email resume to office@ykli.org YESHIVA SECRETARY Yeshiva near Brooklyn/5 Towns Seeking help during Dinner Campaign.

Detail oriented and ability to multi task Yeshiva experience a plus Morning Hours, Immediately after Pesach Send Resume to officepositionhire@gmail.com CATAPULT LEARNING Teachers, Title I Boro Park, Williamsburg and Flatbush Schools *College/Yeshiva Degree *Teaching experience required *Strong desire to help children learn *Small group instruction *Excellent organization skills Competitive salary Send resume to: Email: nyteachers@catapultlearning.com Fax: (212) 480-3691 5TOWNS BOYS YESHIVA SEEKING ELEM TEACHERS. Exc working env’t, supportive admin, exc pay Lic’d & experienced preferred.

Email resume to yeshivalooking@gmail.com PHYSICAL THERAPIST ASSISTANTS (PTA’S) & OCCUPATIONAL THERAPISTS ASSISTANTS (COTA’S) For 200+ bed Nursing Home in Queens. Must have Hospital or Nursing Home experience. Please email resume to promrehab@aol.com

HELP WANTED

HELP WANTED

OVERNIGHT \WEEKEND COUNSELOR Responsible and exp’d staff to live in a beautiful group home & work 3 nights\week 7pm - 9am. Staff are not req’d to remain awake after 11pm.

Staff are req’d to work two weekends per month. Free rent & food. Stipend given as well. Great for college girl.

For additional info contact Frayde Yudkowsky at 732.948.4636 or fyudkowsky@evolvetreatment.com.

GREAT OPPORTUNITY Looking for class B CDL DRIVER with clutch for a heimishe lumber co.

Great pay, Call: 718-369-3141 Ext. 348

Local F.T. Accounting Office Seeks P/T JR. ACCOUNTANT proficient in Q.B. knowledge of payroll tax, sales tax, business tax and individual taxes Qualified applicants should please e-mail resume to: 5towntaxoffice@gmail.com DRS HS FOR BOYS, WOODMERE NY SEEKS CHEMISTRY TEACHER (FT) FOR 2016-17.

Resumes: gkirshenbaum@drshalb.org.

WE ARE LOOKING TO HIRE A MARKETING/SALES SPECIALIST. Job will require your own car and being computer/internet savy.

If you consider yourself a marketing professional, this is the position for you. Opportunity to make unlimited income potential, Don’t delay.

Give us a call at 917-612-2300 CATAPULT LEARNING Teachers for Title I in Boro Park andWilliamsburg Chassidic boys schools *College/Yeshiva Degree Required *Strong desire to help children learn *Excellent organizational skills *Small group instruction *Competitive salary Email resume: nyteachers@catapultlearning.com.

Fax (718) 381-3493

HALB LOWER SCHOOL SEEKS STAFF MEMBERS FOR 2016-17: Limudei Kodesh Morah with Ivrit skills, Assistant Teachers Limudei Kodesh and Secular Studies (FT/PT), Assistant Rebbe (FT).

Resumes: djacobi@halb.org.

MISC Discounted tickets to SIX FLAGS GREAT ADVENTURE THEME PARK AND SAFARI Valid for any operating day for only $40 Call or text Yehoshua 917- 923-0011 SPACE AVAILABLE FOR 3 YEAR OLD PLAYGROUP IN FAR ROCKAWAY. EXCELLENT MORAHS. PLEASE CALL (516) 406-2980

SHIDDUCH DATING? NEED PLACES TO GO? Check out Pegishaplace.com Tutors desperately needed for Zichron Etel, a gemach providing free tutoring to those who cannot afford it.

Now in Brooklyn and the Five Towns!

Kindly visit our website at www.zichronetel.com

Reach Your Target Market

Classifieds

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

Life CAPTURE

I M A G E S LTD PHOTOGRAPHY I VIDEO

GABRIEL SOLOMON

GABE@LIFECAPTUREIMAGES.COM 516.499.9620 WWW.LIFECAPTUREIMAGES.COM

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Your

Money

Go for the Gold

By Allan Rolnick, CPA

F

or a while there, it looked like the just-concluded Rio Olympics would be a carnival of chaos. Golfers boycotting to avoid the Zika virus? Check. Swimmers making their way through raw sewage? Check. And those were just the disasters we anticipated before the opening ceremonies! Who could have predicted divers splashing into a pool of green water, or Ryan Lochte “over-exaggerating” making up a whopper about a drunken robbery?

In the end, it all worked out, and we got to witness the usual quadrennial spectacle of sport, livened with a dose of Latin color. Swimmer Katie Ledecky earned five gold medals and, in one race, beat a woman on a jet ski. Gymnast Simone Biles is headed for the cover of Sports Illustrated and has gone viral with her quote, “I’m not the next Usain Bolt or Michael Phelps. I’m the first Simone Biles.” And none of Rio’s projected shortfalls disrupted the spirit of competition.

Olympic games are full of upsets, disappointments, and uncertainty.

But there’s one team that’s always guaranteed to win, and that’s the team at the IRS. They’re not taxing winners on the value of their med-

als, at least not yet. But the U.S. Olympic Committee awards cash prizes to U.S. medalists: $25,000 for bringing home the gold, $15,000 for the silver, and $10,000 for the bronze. Uncle Sam’s teams finished #1 in the medal race, combining for 46 golds, 37 silvers, and 38 bronzes.

That means over $2 million in new

and you aren’t disqualified for doping, bringing home the gold means an extra $135,000. Thailand’s Sopita Tanasan, who dominated the women’s 48kg weightlifting competition, will enjoy a $314,000 annuity to be paid out over the next 20 years.

Of course, the keepsie money isn’t in the prizes, it’s in the endorse-

He’s parlayed his fame into $94 million of taxable endorsements and a $55 million net worth.

income to tax!

How do those cash awards compare with our competitors across the globe? Well, we’re nowhere near #1 in that race, for sure. If you live in Azerbaijan, bringing home the gold puts the Azerbaijani equivalent of 510,000 pretax dollars in your pocket. (We’re not sure where you can actually spend $510,000 in Azerbaijan, but men’s taekwando champ Radik Isaev probably can’t wait for the challenge.) If you live in Russia,

ments. Swimmer Michael Phelps cemented his Olympic legend by breaking a 2,168-year-old record for most individual medals. (Leoniodis of Rhodes, the previous record holder, had to win a footrace while carrying a 50 pound shield and wearing a complete suit of armor.) Phelps has won “just” $1.9 million from his actual swimming. But he’s parlayed his fame into $94 million of taxable endorsements and a $55 million net worth. Maybe there’s really some-

thing to that “cupping” nonsense?

Winning at the Olympics can open doors we can’t even imagine yet. Consider this theory. In 1976, a young Bruce Jenner packed up his hopes and dreams and headed to Montreal. What if he gave it his all in the decathlon and finished . . . fourth? No medal, no Wheaties box, no magazine cover. Would we be keeping up with his crazy family today? (And for that matter, which of today’s stars will be headlining a reality-TV trainwreck while we’re watching the 2056 games?)

Here’s the final result. Planning for one-time windfalls (like Olympic gold) can be just as important as planning for periodic income (like endorsements). The IRS wants a piece of it all. Make sure you have a plan before you earn your medals and that will help you make the most of your gold!

Allan J Rolnick is a CPA who has been in practice for over 30 yea rs in Queens, NY. He welcomes your comments and can be reached at 718-896-8715 or at allanjrcpa@aol.com.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 1, 2016

111

Life C ach

Fly Me to the Moon

By Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., CLC, SDS

I

’m looking to buy a magic flying carpet. Anyone have one for sale?

I’m glad to be a part of someone’s celebration. We pray for it. We want good things to happen to others. We want to be there. But we really don’t enjoy the schlepping!

People think, “I’m looking for the nicest venue” when they are planning their party. But when they are on the guest side they think, “How long is the ride to get there?” What happens to us? Do our brains fall out when it becomes our party?!

OK, true, some places have better food and atmosphere. I guess for most, the better the taste and ambiance, the less painful the trip.

Apparently our ability to sit for long stretches of time is directly connected to our gastric system and our eye sockets. Who knew?!

But honestly, when something is local, don’t you just love it?! Who would think, when they are looking to buy a home, to check simcha halls in the neighborhood? Let me see… number of bathrooms, number of bedrooms, size of kitchen…proximity to a good hall?! Nah, just doesn’t seem important till you start attending events, weddings, or bar mitzvahs.

How do you like it when you have two occasions to attend in one night?

For instance, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday night on your calendar are more or less free. But Thursday you have two weddings to go to, at opposite ends of the universe – say, like Brooklyn and New Jersey, which might as well be opposite ends of the universe! Can you get to both?! This is where the magic carpet would really come in handy! Williamsburg just never looked as good, huh?!

We are busy creatures. Flitting about is just so difficult.

Last week I was lucky to get a ride to a wedding that was somewhere in Yenemsvelt, NJ. It took us like two hours to get there. Maybe if it wasn’t Thursday night, in the summer, it would have been only 40 minutes away! So this terrific couple Mr. and Mrs. H. were nice enough to save me the trouble of driving. It doesn’t mean I avoided driving altogether, though. In addition to the 2 hour trip, another passenger and I converged on them at their home.

She drove like 25 minutes to get there, while I drove about 15 minutes from another direction. Basically we can call that the pre-trip trip. But it could be construed as part of the overall travel time. Can you imagine how much longer all of this would have taken though, if the H.’s had gone around picking every one up?

We’d have been crashing the sheva brachot! Again this could have been a great magic carpet moment!

I’m not saying I’m looking forward to “self-driving cars.” I’m afraid then there will be no car conversation. Everyone will be busy on their technology. With a driver at the helm, everyone feels the responsibility to keep him or her entertained.

So there’s some healthy interaction.

After all, they are handling the brunt of the pressure: watching the road continuously, not – we hope – taking little cat naps, working to make the right twists and turns, and responding to everyone’s ideas of what the picture on the Waze is actually diagrammatically showing as the next turn.

All I’m trying to encourage is, all things being equal, if you can make

an affair local, try and do it.

And if you can help it…try not to make friends in other neighborhoods and try to marry a local boy or girl!

Or, more realistically, recognize a trip is a great time for quality bonding! And if you are driving alone, a great time to call your mother-inlaw.

Oh, yes, and if that mother-inlaw happens to be me, it’s OK if you don’t call, just as long as you’ve found

me a magic flying carpet for my next birthday. Whoops, I take that back. I just remembered, I don’t like heights!

And on the QT, I’m certainly not that wild about birthdays anymore either.

Rivki Rosenwald is a certified relationship counselor, and career and life coach.

She can be contacted at 917-705-2004 or rivki@rosenwalds.com

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