Five Towns Jewish Home - 9-8-16 by The Jewish Home

September 8 — September 14, 2016

Distributed weekly in the Five Towns, Long Island, Queens & Brooklyn

Your Favorite Five Towns Family Newspaper

A LIFE VEST OF Love and Understanding

Pages 9, 10, 11, 13 & 31

Around the

Community

Inaugural Siyum Marks First Anniversary of Torat Refoel Community Kollel of Yeshivas Ner Shlomo

Orly Wahba Brightens the World One Kindness at a Time

New United Kehilla for Long Beach and Lido Beach

The Between Camp and School Crisis How I Flunked as a Parent Over 13 Long Days

Politicians Join in at JCCRP’s Knapsack Distribution

See page 2

Healthy and Nutritious After-School Snacks Page 103

– See pages 24 & 25 – See pages 3 & 37

SEASONS LAWRENCE

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SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | The Jewish Home

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

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SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Dear Readers,

his week, children headed back to school after a long summer vacation. They waved to their parents as they hopped onto their yellow school buses, knapsacks loaded with supplies and snacks. The first day of school is an exciting day. Children are back together with their school friends, and their fresh notebooks are ready for their first scrawl. A brand new teacher, a brand new classroom, a brand new year. Some children, though, are hesitant when returning to school. For them, new beginnings are not easy. Transitions create anxiety for them, and a new school year brings with it added fears and sadness. But one small act can make a difference. Imagine a little girl in the lunchroom, opening up her lunch bag and nibbling on her cream cheese sandwich. No one is sitting near her. She is all alone. “I like your headband; it’s so pretty!” A few small words, spoken by a confident child who sits down near her, can brighten up her lunch hour. A quiet boy is alone on the field during recess. The boys are playing football and the ball bounces towards him. He throws it to the others. “Nice throw!” says one of the players. “Wanna play?” The boy shrugs and shakes his head. “Not today.” But maybe tomorrow, knowing that he’s accepted and wanted he’ll make a move to join the game. A few weeks ago, I heard a story on the news of a few football players who visited a school. One of the players noticed a boy eating alone. He sat down beside him and chatted with him

as the boy ate his lunch. Someone snapped a photo and sent it to his mother. The boy’s mother cried when she saw the picture. Her son is slightly autistic and does not have many friends. To see that he was given extra special attention made her heart lurch. The next day other boys joined the small boy during lunchtime. If it was good for the athlete to sit with him, it would be good for them as well. One small act can make another’s day – or even their year. Orly Wahba is the facilitator of millions of acts of kindness. Her organization, Life Vest Inside, endeavors to unite the world with caring and thoughtfulness. As a shomer Shabbos woman from New York, Orly’s vision is rooted in Torah values. But her message of kindness is for everyone. She believes that being kind doesn’t just create a ripple effect around the world; she knows that being kind bounces back and makes the giver happier as well. Her mission of meaning is for young and old, Jew and non-Jew, teacher and student. It’s for those who have and those who havenot. It’s for everyone. And it certainly is a message that we can utilize during this month of Elul. As we look for them, we will see the thousands of opportunities presented to us in which we can help, give and support others with our words and actions. Because one small act can make another’s day – or even their lifetime. Wishing you a wonderful week, Shoshana

Yitzy Halpern PUBLISHER

publisher@fivetownsjewishhome.com

Yosef Feinerman MANAGING EDITOR

ads@fivetownsjewishhome.com

Shoshana Soroka EDITOR

editor@fivetownsjewishhome.com

Nate Davis Editorial Assistant Nechama Wein Copy Editor Rachel Bergida Berish Edelman Mati Jacobovits Design & Production Gabe Solomon Distribution & Logistics P.O. BOX 266 Lawrence, NY 11559 Phone | 516-734-0858 Fax | 516-734-0857 Classifieds: Deadline Mondays 5PM classifieds@fivetownsjewishhome.com text 443-929-4003 The Jewish Home is an independent weekly magazine. Opinions expressed by writers are not neces sarily the opinions of the publisher or editor. The Jewish Home is not responsible for typographical errors, or for the kashrus of any product or business advertised within. The Jewish Home contains words of Torah. Please treat accordingly.

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SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Contents LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

COMMUNITY Readers’ Poll

Community Happenings

OpEd: The Between Camp and School Crisis: How I Flunked as A Parent Over 13 Long Days

NEWS Global

National

Odd-but-True Stories

ISRAEL

Israel News

Blueberry Heaven by Rafi Sackville

PEOPLE

A Life Vest of Love and Understanding: Orly Wahba Brightens the World one Kindness at a Time 72 Jewish Commanders of Soviet Subs by Avi Heiligman

110

PARSHA Rabbi Wein

JEWISH THOUGHT Story of My Life by Rabbi Jonathan Gewirtz

It’s Not You – It’s Me by Eytan Kobre

HEALTH & FITNESS Feelings are Such a Nuisance by Deb Hirschhorn, PhD

Back to School Nutrition by Aliza Beer, MS RD

The Mystery of Argan Oil by Bentzy Weingot

114

FOOD & LEISURE The Aussie Gourmet: Simanim Chicken

After School Snacks

Dear Editor, Regarding Rabbi Rubinstein’s article “The Backfire Effect,” please know that for the uninitiated these “proven ways” to deal with this phenomenon do not work. This condition is a very serious mental disorder associated with borderline personality disorder and manifests as cognitive/thought disorder where the person is simply unreasonable. No amount of “proof” can change their minds since they are guided by their emotions. Consider the classic documented case of a husband getting angry with his wife for something she did to him in a dream! These people are all around, and may be your spouse, colleague, boss, your child’s teacher, or your rabbi/rebbetzin. They look “normal” but are very sick people. Therapists are beginning to realize that the traditional psychodynamic models do not work with these people. If you are involved with such a person, my best advice is to disengage as much as possible for they will only destroy you. Anyone interested in knowing more should begin by reading Stop Walking on Eggshells. A Reader

Dear Editor, We have been living in this community for 37 years. You can consider my wife and I hard working middle class people all our lives and we’ve been b”H happily married for 46 years with 4 children and 11 grandchildren. Thankfully the next generation is blossoming before our eyes. We watched as parents and now as grandparents we continue to watch the struggle for kids to maintain normalcy in an increasingly “not normal” world. Every week and every day is another challenge and another ad for another new thrill. Another new Nintendo and another new “must have” gadget. Another movie, another obsession or another new iPhone. (Forget baseball cards.) Now let’s be clear. My wife and I love our children and grandchildren and are guilty like many others for allowing these items into their lives. We all want to spoil and keep them happy. However, for the first time in our lives we are more than proud to live in this community. Really proud. When did we ever have an organization or an entity or a movement pushing us to do Continued on page 12

LIFESTYLES Dating Dialogue, Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW

Preparing your Teen for a Successful Year by Chaim Homnick

Enjoy the Journey by Rabbi Naphtali Hoff 96

108

The Amazing Artwork of Norman Rockwell by Rebbetzin Naomi N. Herzberg

112

Your Money

124

What’s Value? by Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., CLC, SDS 126 HUMOR

Centerfold

Rocky’s Rant: Mine has a Moonroof

108

Uncle Moishy Fun Page

116

POLITICAL CROSSFIRE Notable Quotes

Does Trump Know What it Means to Preach Law and Order? by Michael Gerson 104 The Only Immigration Solution by Charles Krauthammer CLASSIFIEDS

106 118

Do you believe football player Colin Kaepernick is justified for not standing during the National Anthem?

YES

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Sale Dates: September 11th - 16th 2016

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299 .................................................

Assorted - 5 Pack

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Friendship Cottage Cheese

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Tropicana Orange Juice Assorted 59 oz

Macabee Mozzarella Sticks

299

349

La Choy Light Soy Sauce

YoCrunch Yogurt Assorted - 4 Pack

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8 oz

2 lb

Assorted - 16 oz

899

Eggo Mini Waffles 10.9 oz

Friendship Sour Cream

2/$

Dole Strawberries Whole or Sliced 14 oz/16 oz

STORE HOURS

B’gan Mini Cauliflower 24 oz

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Assorted -4 - 6 Count

12 oz

32 oz

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Cedarhurst

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International Chopped Liver

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Mehadrin Yogurts

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Nutella with Breadsticks

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Sabra Hummus

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Schtark Shredded Cheese

Entenmann’s Donuts

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Pardes Broccoli Florets

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Original Only - 20 oz

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Zevi’s Gefilte Fish

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Givat Whipped Cream Cheese

Fage Greek Yogurt

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All Flavors 17 oz

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12 oz

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Except Pizza 8 oz

2/$

Heinz Chili Sauce

.................................................

Miller’s Shredded Cheese

Assorted - 16 oz

.................................................

299

699

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4/$

249

Assorted - 12 Pack - 3.8 oz

All Varieties - 9.5 oz - 15 oz

2 Liter

Gold’s Duck Sauce

Folger’s K-Cups Coffee

2/$

Nabisco Chips Ahoy Cookies

Canada Dry, 7-Up, Sunkist, A&W, Squirt

California Gourmet Premium 45% Cacao Chocolate Chips

$ 99

499

Wacky Mac Mac & Cheese

$ 99

Grab One Protein Bars Flat Out Fold-It

2 lb Jar $ 99

349

5/$

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79¢

Original, Grilling, Baking, Olive Oil - 5 oz/6 oz

Season Skinless & Boneless Sardines

Pam Cooking Spray

Assorted Pudding & Jello 4 Pack - 13 oz

99¢

2/$

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Hunt’s Snack Pack

1.5 Liter

Manischewitz Noodles Nature’s Own Fine, Medium, Wide, Extra Wide Apple Juice

11.8 oz Cocoa Puffs 12 oz Golden Grahams 13 oz Reese’s Peanut Butter Puffs

12 oz

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Assorted Flavors

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The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

Sale Dates: September 11th - 16th 2016

Specials White Meat Sandwich $ 99 Ground $ 49 Steak 8 lb. Shoulder London $899 lb. Chicken 5 lb. Broil Neck & Skirt Family ................... . . . . . . . . Pack ........... Ground $ 99 3 lb. Skinless Beef Beef $ 99 $ 99 Neck 3 lb. Super Family Pack 3 lb. Chicken ................... Bones Legs ................... ................... 1st Cut $ 49 Corned 10 lb.Minute Chicken $259 lb. Beef Steak $1239 lb. Legs .........

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Seasoned ready to bake grill! 699 lb. Pastrami $ or49 Patties 6 lb.

Kellogg’s 18 oz Corn Flakes or 12 oz Rice Krispies

2/$

......................................................

Wesson Oil

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699

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Chicken of the Sea Solid White Tuna In Water or Oil - 5 oz

4/$ Jumbo Peacock Cantaloupe

Sliced Mushrooms

Andy Boy Romaine Hearts

2/$5

2/$3

2/$5

Texas Seedless 59¢ lb. Watermelon

Golden Delicious Apples

..........................

Holland Yellow Peppers

Holland Spanish Orange $259 lb. Onions Peppers

Gala Apples

99¢ lb.

lb.

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Sweet 99¢ lb. Potatoes

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Yellow Bananas

59¢ lb.

49¢ lb.

Earthbound 2/$4 Salads

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Amnon Pizza Original Only - 36 oz

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Sweet Potato Roll $

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299ea. $ 99 Falafel Dip Pre-Packaged 2 ea. Broccoli Souffle Pre-Packaged low fat! $499ea. $ 49 Gazpacho Soup Pre-Packaged 5 ea. $ 49 Tomato Salad Pre-Packaged 4 ea. $ 49 Red Lentils At the Counter low fat! 5 lb. Spinach Dip

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SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Continued from 8

kindness, convincing and asking us to do chessed, to involve our families in chessed, and to literally offer a variety of chessed opportunities? Wow, how powerful a message. Wow, how powerful an act. Wow, how proud we are and, yes, how fortunate we are to live in a neighborhood that promotes this. In an era of one obsession after another and one tragic story after the other this organization, Achiezer, is a breath of fresh air and a promise of a prosperous and unified people that we truly can be. Shelly and Zev Friedman

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Dear Editor, I am writing to share with the community my recent experience with Councilman Donovan Richards and to express my tremendous gratitude to him and his incredibly talented and devoted staff. For 20 years, I have run a summer program in the Far Rockaway area. Finding proper facilities is always difficult, but securing a swimming pool where our children can swim is our greatest obstacle. Pools are very high commodities during the summer. This challenge is compounded by our great emphasis to preserve our values of modesty, compelling us to separate swimming by gender. Locating an available pool large enough to accommodate our number of children with the option of separate swimming is an arduous task. For over 15 years, we had been able to find a near perfect solution to this challenge. Our boys have used the swimming pool at Far Rockaway High as a private rental for typically an hour and a half to 2 hours daily. Even though there were always city swim programs that were also hosted in Far Rockaway High, times were allotted to our group so that we could utilize the pool. This afforded our boys a fantastic opportunity to delight in one of summer’s favorite activities in a manner that did not in any way compromise the standards and values that their families imbued within them. This summer we were faced with an unprecedented threat, as New York City sought to take full control of the pool to be used for a new city program. Every effort I made to help our children proved futile. In desperation, I called the Jewish Community Council of the Rockaway Peninsula (JCCRP), and they reached out to Councilman Richards and his wonderful office staff. Immediately, our request was

greeted with care and concern. Councilman Richards and his staff dedicated themselves to seeking a fair resolution that would be satisfactory to all parties involved. In every phone call to the councilman’s office, I was always treated with respect and understanding, and was continually updated with any relevant developments. My initial anxiety and skepticism gave way to cautious optimism, and ultimately pure admiration as I witnessed their determination and tremendous efforts on our behalf. Not so much to my surprise, I discovered that the royal treatment I received from the councilman and his staff was in no way unique. In sharing my experience with members of my community, I only found uniform sentiments from others who had similar stories echoing extraordinary efforts by the councilman to assist them. May G-d bless the Councilman and his staff with health, strength, and happiness that they may continue to do the exceptional work on behalf of our community. Sincerely, Ben Jacobi Director Camp Machaneh Yisrael Dear Editor, I don’t follow the news much and I really don’t follow sports. But I am appalled every time I see NFL player Colin Kaepernick refusing to stand for the national anthem because he believes that the United States is unfair to people of color. Is he for real? Kaepernick was born to a white mother whose black father abandoned him before he was born. His mother put him up for adoption and his white adopted parents raised him. Do you think that he would be in the same position he is in now if he was born in Ghana or Nigeria or Iran? Only in a democracy like America can someone rise to certain heights. Ever look at the players on the field during football games? Most of them are black. Perhaps the game is showing racism towards white players – there are so few of them represented. I don’t think the Kaepernick is showing allegiance to people of color. I think he’s an angry man who wants to go against authority by refusing to stand for our nation’s anthem and by wearing socks depicting police officers as pigs. If he really wanted to help black people, he could do it on his own time, with his own thousands of dollars. Merv Colin

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

The Week In News

Hong Kong Wants Change

The people of Hong Kong are ready for a real change, resulting in more residents than ever showing up to vote in the recent election. In several over-congested voting areas, lines were snaking around the block well past the official midnight voting end time. Several pro-independence candidates won seats in Hong Kong’s Legislative Council (LegCo), which will probably increase tensions with Communist Party rulers in Beijing. Thirty pro-democracy candidates were sworn into the 70seat council, up from 27, meaning they will retain the ability to veto major constitutional changes. At least six young candidates who support self-determination or some level of greater independence for Hong Kong won seats. Among those elected to power is Nathan Law, 23, who helped lead the “Umbrella Protests” in 2014 for self-determination. The protest saw many arrested and blocked dozens of roads in Beijing for 79 days. Law was shocked that he was actually voted in and said it showed people “wanted change.” Despite the gains, China’s supporters will continue to hold the majority of seats on the 70-seat council. The feeling of “need for change” is definitely palpable in China. “It’s a new era,” said Lee Cheuk-yan, a democratic lawmaker who lost his seat after more than two decades in public office. “People want change, change meaning that they want new faces ... but the price is a further fragmentation [of the democracy camp]. Ideologically they’re talking about independence and they want

to assert themselves.” China, though, has warned that anyone advocating for Hong Kong’s independence will be punished. In a statement, China’s Hong Kong and Macau Affairs Office noted candidates had been publicly advocating for independence during the election campaign. “We firmly support the Hong Kong SAR [special administrative region] government to mete out penalties according to law,” the Chinese state news agency Xinhua quoted it as saying. While Hong Kong is a Chinese SAR, it is run under the principle of “one country, two systems.” This arrangement gives the former British colony a high degree of autonomy and allows it to preserve its economic and social systems until 2047.

Haiti Healthcare Strike Finally Ends

A garbage strike may leave the streets smelling repulsive, a metro strike may leave many commuters stranded, but a healthcare strike leaves many people in danger. Several months ago, in Haiti, all of the country’s government hospital healthcare workers went on strike. After five months of not working (and sleeping late), the country’s doctors, residents, nurses and all support staff returned to work. Back in March it all began when residents at Port-au-Prince’s Hospital of the State University of Haiti walked out on their jobs. This move proved contagious and soon all the hospital’s nursing staff joined the strike. Within days, 12 other government-run hospitals hopped on the bandwagon. No one expected the walk-out to last until September, making it a five month long strike. The strikers were protesting chronic shortages of the most basic

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supplies, unsafe working conditions and dismal pay. Now, with the strike settled, residents’ salaries have been increased from $120 a month to $460. Beds were replaced and other outdated and non-working equipment were repaired or replaced. The government has agreed to devote almost 10 percent of its budget to

healthcare – up from a measly 4.7 percent. Many frustrated Haitians are upset with the government for such dragged out negotiations. At least three deaths have been directly related to the strike, including a pregnant woman who died outside of the State University hospital’s gates.

The strike did come at a particularly bad time for Haiti. The country has seen malnutrition and disease spreading lately. Since 2010, cholera has killed over 10,000 Haitians and a Zika-related case of microcephaly has recently been reported.

The maker of the iPhone is facing a tremendous tax bill. According to an EU ruling, Apple is required to pay $14.5 billion to Ireland. The commission declared that the tax rulings issued by Ireland in 1991 and 2007 granted preferential treatment to the tech giant, which amounted to state aid. Ireland, though, was not too happy about the ruling. The decision is essentially barring smaller countries from competing with larger jurisdictions by offering more attractive tax plans to certain companies. Irish Finance Minister Michael Noonan immediately declared that Dublin would appeal the Commission’s decision “to defend the integrity of our tax system; to provide tax certainty to business; and to challenge the encroachment of EU state aid rules into the sovereign member state competence of taxation.” Over the years, Ireland has built a reputation for low corporate taxes, which helped place the country on the map for the global business community and overcome its limited scale and peripheral location. Take Apple, for instance. The company opened up its first European office in 1980 in Cork. That office opened with 60 workers in a region with high unemployment. Now, 36 years later, there are 6,000 Apple employees working in Ireland. European Commission President Jean-Claude Juncker was careful to point out that the decision has nothing to do with America and is simply based on facts and existing rules. “This is not a decision against the United States of America,” reiterated Juncker. Juncker appeared to be reassuring U.S. lawmakers that they do not intend to continue the pattern of sending more profits earned by U.S. corporations into European tax reserves. Apple’s Chief Executive Tim Cook angrily called the ruling “total political” garbage, but the decision has been backed by France and Ger-

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to open Germany’s borders to hundreds of thousands of refugees; the German people responded with anger and dismay to the flood of immigrants invading their country.

The German state elections are in full swing. The conservative Christian Democrats, current Chancellor Angela Merkel’s party, fell to third place. The Center-left Social Democrats (SPD) came out in the lead, with 30.6% of the vote. The anti-immigrant Alternative for Germany (AfD) party garnered 20.8%, while the Christian Democratic Union received only 19% of the vote. With federal elections set to be held in a year, does her party’s defeat mean Merkel is on the way out? “This isn’t pretty for us,” admitted Michael Grosse-Groehmer, one of Merkel’s top deputies in parliament in Berlin in a ZDF TV interview. “This is a slap in the face for Merkel – not only in Berlin but also in her home state,” said Frauke Petry, co-leader of the AfD. “The voters made a clear statement against Merkel’s disastrous immigration policies. This put her in her place.” “We want that the German government closes German borders to illegal migration... We don’t want a new border in Germany. But we need controlled borders. We need a change of legislation on a German level, but also an EU level, to avoid illegal migration,” Petry asserted. Merkel made a controversial move last year when she decided

If you are reading this and you do not work for Kim Jong Un, please don’t go submitting your resume. And if you do work for him, keep your head up during your next meeting – if you want to keep your head at all. Vice Premier Kim Yong-Jin was executed by a firing squad in July in North Korea after he showed “extreme disrespect” to the Supreme Leader by falling asleep in a meeting. A South Korean report suggests that Kim Jong Un is attempting to tighten his grip on power by punishing every small infraction. Two other senior officials were banished this month as well. “Kim Yong-Jin was denounced for his bad sitting posture when he was sitting below the rostrum” during a session of North Korea’s parliament and then underwent an interrogation that revealed other “crimes,” an anonymous official related. “He was arrested on site and intensively questioned by the state security ministry.” The execution has not been officially acknowledged by North Korea. Professor Yang Moo-Jin at the University of North Korean Studies has suggested using the invitation list to the government’s annual anniversary ceremony to confirm the story. In February, Seoul reported that North Korean military chief of staff Ri Yong-Gil had been executed – only for Ri to turn up at a party rally in May. According to a South Korean news agency, over 100 party officials have been killed during Kim Jong Un’s rule.

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Human Remains from the Holocaust Discovered in Berlin

A large amount of human remains has been discovered in Berlin at a site in close proximity to a research center that was used during World War II by Nazi scientists. Archaeologists unearthed the human bones in an upscale neighborhood called Dahlem. The excavation comes after a discovery in 2014 that occurred accidently while construction workers were doing roadwork on a property belonging to Berlin’s Free University. The site is located around 300

feet from what used to be the Kaiser Wilhelm Institute for Human Heredity and Eugenics. The renowned Kaiser Wilhelm Society was established pre-WWII; Albert Einstein once served as a director. SS sadist Josef Mengele was known have to conducted experiments and research on victims of Nazi death camps and it is believed that he sent body parts there for research. After the war, the Kaiser Wilhelm Society was renamed the Max Planck Society. Susan Pollock, a professor of archaeology at the university who was one of the leaders of the team, said in a statement that “numerous fractured skulls, teeth, vertebrae” of adults and children were recovered. Some of the bones had traces of glue, suggesting that they may have been on display at some point. The bones found in 2014 were never identified, and the new discovery provides researchers “a new possibility to illuminate the unusual find and the circumstances under which they were buried,” said Joerg Haspel, the leader of Berlin’s office that oversees memorial sites. The archeologists involved in the study, the city, and the Max Planck Society have been in contact with

Germany’s Central Council of Jews and Central Council of Sinti and Roma on the ongoing archaeological work. “The Max Planck Society has accepted a difficult legacy of its predecessor organization, the Kaiser Wilhelm Society,” acknowledged society president Martin Stratmann of his organization’s participation in the ongoing archaeological investigation. “We are well aware of the special responsibility that it entails.” Experts will now attempt to identify the newly discovered remains in order to determine the general age of the deceased and their gender. They hope to also conclude as to how many different people’s bones were found. This work will take quite some time, and results are not expected at least until the end of this year.

“Counterculture” in Italy Italy’s borders are being flooded with refugees and along with the tens of thousands of new citizens, comes an increased terrorism threat. Italian

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politicians are proposing a plan to counteract the rising threat of terrorism. The government will welcome the refugees with vouchers for movies, concerts, and trips to museums. The idea is that by involving them in Italian culture they can counter extremist views and ideologies. The program is geared to 18-year-olds who are no longer minors but are still young enough to influence.

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European Union citizens living in Italy as well. Tommaso Nannicini, the official in charge of the program, said that teenagers will receive “a message” that culture is “crucial.” “[Islamic radicals] imagine terror, we answer with culture. They destroy statues, we love art. They destroy books, we are the country of libraries,” Prime Minister Matteo Renzi said.

Was an American Kidnapped to Tutor Kim Jong Un?

For years, it was assumed that David Sneddon was dead after he disappeared in 2004 during a trip to China. He was a student at Brigham Young University and only 24-yearsold when he mysteriously vanished in the Yunnan Province in western China. Authorities believed that Sneddon, a young missionary, had probably died while hiking in Tiger Leaping Gorge near the Jinsha River on August 14, 2004, but his remains were never recovered. Last Wednesday, a Japanese news agency reported that they have strong reason to believe that Sneddon was kidnapped by the North Korean government, bringing a ray of hope to the boy’s family. Yahoo News Japan reported that Sneddon had been seen in North Korea, where he is believed to be alive and well. According to the report, he currently works as an English teacher and lives with his wife and two children. Choi Sun-yong, the leader of the Abductees’ Family Union, said a source revealed he had in fact been kidnapped by North Korean operatives and worked as an English tutor for the young Kim Jong Un.

Roy and Kathleen Sneddon, the boy’s parents, say that they never truly believed the official story that their son had died falling into a river. They were well aware of North Korea’s reputation for kidnapping foreigners and believed that the Kim regime sought out their son for his fluency in Korean, which he had developed during his time spent as a Mormon missionary in South Korea, and captured him in order to use his skill. For over a decade, the Sneddons continuously campaigned for American officials to investigate their son’s disappearance. “We just knew in our heart that he was alive, so we had to keep fighting,” David’s mother related. In fact, in May 2012, the Sneddons posted a blog entry titled, “Was David abducted by DPRK (North Korea)? You decide...” Over the years, Utah representatives put pressure on Congress to investigate the circumstances of Sneddon’s disappearance. “The evidence indicates that there are still a lot of unanswered questions about David’s disappearance,” Representative Chris Stewart, who serves on the U.S. House Intelligence Committee, said in a statement. “David’s family deserves answers to those questions, and until we find those answers, I will continue urging the State Department to pursue all possible explanations for David’s disappearance.” Shortly after the report was released, the U.S. Department of State promised to actively begin searching for Sneddon in North Korea.

Assad Regime Making Millions off of UN

The UN has been caught in one of its more obviously foolish moves. While the organization routinely condemns Syrian President Bashar Assad and his government, they have still been siphoning millions of dol-

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

lars to several government agencies, charitable organizations, and “nonprofit” organizations, many of which were started by Assad’s wife, Asma, in Syria. A recent investigative report published by The Guardian has revealed that the UN funds were used by the Syrian terror regime to murder thousands of innocent people. Contracts to the tune of several million dollars were discovered between the UN and several government companies that are under EU sanctions. One such example is a $13 million donation to the Syrian government to advance the country’s agriculture. This is despite the fact that the Syrian Ministry of Agriculture is banned by the EU from trading with EU countries because it has been shown to use money for other purposes. Another organization being taken advantage of by Assad is the World Health Organization (WHO). The WHO gave $5 million in aid funds to help Syria’s national blood bank, which is under the control of Assad’s Ministry of Defense. Their blood supplies have been diverted to those loyal to the regime and not to the innocent civilians who are in serious need. In total, the UN paid between $30,000 and $54 million to 258 Syrian companies. Amazingly, $900 million of the UN’s $1.1 billion aid budget went through Damascus. The UN’s response to the report is that they are not obligated by U.S. or EU sanctions and that they are forced cooperate with Assad in order to help the millions of civilians living there.

More Bullying by Russia

It’s like a fire drill except it’s way more political and involves a lot more time and money. Russian President Vladimir Putin has launched largescale military drills in his latest antagonizing move. The exercises,

which include 12,500 soldiers, take place on Ukraine’s eastern border around the Crimean peninsula. In a statement the Russian army said that the exercises will test the army’s ability to “plan, prepare and carry out military actions.” They include Russian Navy deployments in both the Black and Caspian Seas. Russia recently delivered a super advanced air defense system known as the S-400 to the peninsula. Moscow has accused Kiev of attempting to arm incursions into Crimea over the summer. The region has been under Russian control since Russia seized it in March 2014. Almost 10,000 lives have been lost in the conflict. In a move to head off any further Russian expansionism agenda, NATO has boosted troop levels in Eastern Europe. Poland and the Baltics both claim to fear Russian invasion. Putin, though, has accused NATO of working to counter a “non-existent threat.” Which is exactly what someone would say before taking over another country...

Brexit Concerns from British PM

Great Britain is unsure how to move forward with many aspects of the Brexit which was voted in on June 23. One of the most controversial aspects of breaking away from the European Union is how to tighten up its border controls without losing access to – and trade with – all of the countries in the Union. One of the suggestions that has been thrown around is using a points system to allow someone to enter the country. Factors such as education and skill would be assessed, and applicants would be admitted if they had a high enough score. British Prime Minister Theresa May has many doubts on whether such a system could work. May, who worked as Britain’s

SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | The Jewish Home

longest serving Interior Minister in over 50 years, admitted, “One of the issues is whether or not pointsbased systems do work,” while giving a press conference on her way to the G20 summit in China. She emphasized, “There is no single silver bullet that is the answer in terms of dealing with immigration.” The EU’s 27 partners have been adamant that England will not be allowed to enjoy full trade without all EU nationals being let in to the country at the same rate as before Brexit.

Are No Stairs a Snub?

It’s hard to make this stuff up. It seems that even when dealing with the world’s most powerful su-

perpowers and people, most interactions can be turned into a high school lunchroom drama. When President Obama’s plane landed in China this week for the G20 summit, there was no staircase set up to meet him and definitely no welcome sign. The president did not come off of Air Force One in his usual fashion; he had to sneak off the plane through a belly level exit. Now the question everyone’s asking is: “Was the missing staircase a mere technical error or was it done strategically?” One expert weighing in on Chinese culture is Jorge Guajardo, Mexico’s former ambassador to China. “These things do not happen by mistake. Not with the Chinese,” said Guajardo, who was ambassador from 2007-2013. Guajardo called it a snub. “It’s a way of saying: ‘You know, you’re not that special to us.’ It’s part of the new Chinese arrogance. It’s part of stirring up Chinese nationalism. It’s part of saying: ‘China stands up to the superpower.’ It’s part of saying: ‘And by the way, you’re just someone else to us.’ It works very well with the local audience.” Chinese expert Bill Bishop, who

tracks China’s political scene for a living, also said the move looked deliberate. Although he has no proof, Bishop feels the move is most likely intended “to make the Americans look diminished and weak.” But Chinese officials have said the missing staircase was due to American Secret Servicemen insisting the staircase driver speak English and the airport would not provide one. Obama has dismissed the staircase saga as a simple error. He tried to remind the public that “none of this detracts from the broader scope of the relationship.” On another disconcerting note for Obama, infamous Filipino President Rodrigo Duterte referred to the U.S. leader in an inappropriate way earlier this week. He had made the remark on his way to Laos on Monday. Duterte was supposed to meet with Obama in Laos, but the White House subsequently cancelled the meeting. At first the Filipino leader was unapologetic about his reference to Obama. On Tuesday, though, perhaps rethinking his comment about the leader of free world, Duterte issued an apology. “I do not want to quarrel with the most powerful country on the planet,” he said.

“We look forward to ironing out differences arising out of national priorities and perceptions, and working in mutually responsible ways for both countries,” a statement said. Obama is not alone in Duterte’s verbal crosshairs. The Philippine leader has also cursed Pope Francis and U.N. Secretary-General Ban Kimoon.

Survivors’ Failed Act of Revenge Revenge is a dish best served cold – or maybe in loaves of bread. On April 13, 1946, a group of Holocaust survivors attempted to poison thousands of SS men that were being held in a POW camp near Nuremberg. Newly declassified U.S. military documents have shed a bit more light on the attempted mass poisoning. The team was fittingly known as the Jewish Avengers. Their collective

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

objective was to seek revenge for the atrocities perpetrated against the Jewish people during World War II. After the war was over, many Nazis were able to casually reintegrate into German society and start new lives. The Avengers made it their mission to seek justice and not allow the evil Nazis to get away scot-free.

The main mystery behind the attempted poisoning was why the mission failed. The plan was simple. A group of four Jews had gotten jobs in the bakery of the POW camp. They were able to secure a large quantity of arsenic and had coated 3,000 loaves of bread with the poison, hoping to kill 12,000 former SS men. However, no one died that day at Stalag 13 POW camp – 2,200 SS men got very sick with food poisoning-type symptoms, but no one was killed. According to the recently released U.S. military report, many loaves were found with at least .2 grams of arsenic on them. This falls well within the .1-.3 grams that is lethal so the question remains as to why there were no deaths. There are many theories as to why the mass assassination attempt was unsuccessful. It has been thought that amid the haste, the poison was spread too thin. Others speculate that perhaps the Nazis sensed something was wrong with the bread and did not eat large quantities. Whatever the case, the unsuccessful attempt exposed the plot and forced the Avengers to flee for Palestine. Recently, 91-year-old Joseph Harmatz gave an interview to an Israeli reporter. Harmatz is one of the original members of the Avengers. He said that he only has one regret in his life: “Not killing more Germans.”

to which part of the country they live in. The OECD regularly checks the well-being in six different sections of Israel and recently published their findings. With the very high score of 8.9 out of 10, the Tel Aviv region leads the scores as the happiest region in the country. The Center and South regions were tied with 8.5, and Jerusalem and Haifa each had 8.1. The lowest score was a 7 which was found in the North region of the country. Many factors were taken into account when polling for overall well-being. Categories included health status, work-life balance, education and skills, social connections, civic engagement and governance, environmental quality, personal security and subjective well-being. The dimensions measuring material conditions were: income and wealth, jobs and earnings and housing.

The category that made Tel Aviv significantly better than other cities in Israel is its rate of employment. Tel Aviv got a 9.4 out of 10 in that category while other high ranking cities like Jerusalem only scored a 5.2. Overall, Israelis have a high well-being rating compared to other countries. Israel, in fact, is the highest in the Middle East.

Docs Reveal U.S. Surprised by Yom Kippur War

Are Those in Tel Aviv Better Off? The Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD) has discovered that how Israelis feel about their lives is linked

Last week, the CIA published over 2,500 of the spy agency’s daily intelligence briefings from 1969

SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | The Jewish Home

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to 1977. One of the more interesting briefings is from the days leading up to and the day of the breakout of the Yom Kippur War. Israel was not the only country surprised by the war – no one else had a clue it was coming either, not even Mr. Know-It-All America. Leading up to the October 6, 1973 war, the briefings tell of military exercises in both Egypt and Syria, but on October 5, the CIA is clear that “they do not appear to be preparations for an offensive against Israel.” The briefing is most concerned about Israel’s overreaction and suggests that “Cairo may have put its air defense and air forces on alert as a precaution against an Israeli reaction to the initial phase of the exercise.” Ironically, the briefing from October 6 begins by saying that “neither side seems bent on starting hostilities. A military initiative at this time would make little sense for Cairo or Damascus.” The report posits that Israeli action could trigger aggression: “The Syrians’ fears [of a possible Israeli attack] could lead to a mobilization of their defenses, which in turn could alarm and gal-

vanize the Israelis. Such a cycle of action and reaction would increase the risk of military clashes which neither side originally intended.” In a last minute addition to the report, there is an almost comic addendum that attempts to correct the alarming wrongness of the previous pages. “LATE ITEM: [REDACTED] information from ‘good sources’ that Egypt and Syria are planning a coordinated attack across the Suez Canal and the Golan Heights before nightfall today. He said a partial mobilization of the Israeli Defense Force is under way. We have no information that would confirm the Israeli reports of an imminent attack.” The ensuing Yom Kippur War cost 2,700 Israeli lives and lasted until October 25. When all would be said and done, Israel repelled the initially successful Egyptian attack across the Suez Canal, encircled the Egyptian Third Army, and moved to within 100 kilometers of Cairo and 20 kilometers of Damascus. With G-d on their side, they managed to succeed despite the surprise attack.

Germany Finally Admits PA Supports Terrorists

The Berlin Foreign Ministry has acknowledged what we have all known for some time now. The organization formally stated for the first time that the Palestinian Authority likely supports terrorists and their families. Until now, they have maintained that only the Palestine Liberation Organization has been financially supporting the so-called “martyr” prisoners and their families, and not the PA. Germany sends close to $180 million every year to the PA, and is now following where the funds go more closely. “There are Palestinian institu-

tions that make payments to the families of those incarcerated by Israel and the families of those who were killed or wounded. Among them are also relatives of assailants,” reads a Foreign Ministry document from September 1. The document then further asserts that the financial support being given to prisoners by the PLO Commission for Detainees and Ex-Detainees Affairs only comes from the PLO because the PA’s Ministry of Detainees and Ex-Detainees Affairs departments were shut down two years ago. “The Federal Government is investigating indications that the Palestinian Authority in individual cases supported the PLO’s Commission for Detainees’ budget,” the document states. The document was sent after MP Volker Beck, who is in charge of the German-Israeli Parliamentary Friendship Group, requested details about where the German funds were being spent. Although the document states its suspicions, no action was taken about the revelation. “If it is confirmed that parts of these described payments [to Palestinian security prisoners or their families] comes from the Palestinian Author-

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

ity’s budget, the Federal Government will take the matter up with the Palestinian Authority and other partners,” the document states. “The Palestinian Authority and the PLO are called upon to take all necessary steps against the incitement of violence and to increase its efforts in the fight against terrorism.” Nearly $170 million a year is given to prisoners and families of terrorists. Prisoners’ monthly allowances increase with the length of sentence. According to Palestinian law, allowances range from $364 a month for a term of up to three years to $3,120 for a term of 30 years and more. If you are from Jerusalem, you get an extra $78. If you are an Arab-Israeli terrorist, you get bumped up another $130 a month. Consider it a salary for being evil, masters in heartlessness required, those with a soul need not apply.

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Israel’s Space Communication Ltd claims it is entitled to $50 million or a free flight from Elon Musk’s SpaceX. Last week, a Spacecom communications satellite was destroyed by an explosion at SpaceX’s primary launch site at Cape Canaveral Air Force Station in Florida. The company is also claiming that Israel Aerospace Industries owes them $205 million. As of Sunday morning, SpaceX, a privately owned company, had not commented on the claims. Legally they are required to purchase insurance by the Federal Aviation Administration to cover liability and damage to government property but they have yet to disclose what specific insurance it had for the rocket or to cover launch pad damages. With a collection of commercial and government contracts, the space launch company is worth more than

$10 billion with its 70 missions. SpaceX is one of three major transportation and energy enterprises led by Musk. It also owns Telsa Motors Inc. and SolarCity Corp, both companies which have had declining numbers this quarter. Following Thursday’s explosion,

Spacecom’s shares fell 9% by the end of the day. When the Israeli market reopened Sunday morning, the stock dropped another 34%. The company projects that the loss of the satellite will cost them a hefty sum – it’s equity is expected to decline by $30 million to $123 million.

While the extent of the damage is unclear, the cause of the accident is under investigation by the FAA. This is the second failed mission by SpaceX since last June. SpaceX said that for now they are transferring locations and flights will launch from another site in Florida.

SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | The Jewish Home

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Thursday’s accident, which occurred as the company was fueling its rocket as part of a routine prelaunch test firing, was the second failed mission for Musk’s space company in 14 months. In June 2015, a Falcon 9 rocket exploded just two minutes after liftoff from Florida, obliterating a load of cargo headed to the International Space Station. It took the company several months to recover but it returned to flight in December and flew successfully nine times since then.

In 2004, Israel – with the help of German mediation – provided Hezbollah with information it gathered which detailed the way the four Iranian diplomats were kidnapped, tortured and murdered by the Christian Lebanese Phalanges Party. Solving these two mysteries might even, after so many years, bring peace and perhaps some consolation to the families of the missing navigator and diplomats, and perhaps even bring some hope concerning the future of the ties between these bitter enemies.

Where is Ron Arad?

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Recently, Yedioth Ahronoth reported that over the past year Israel and Hezbollah held secret indirect talks to ascertain the fate of Israeli Air Force navigator Ron Arad who went missing almost 30 years ago after ejecting out of his plane over Lebanon. Sadly, the talks, which also included the Iranians, were not successful. Hezbollah was interested in finding out the fate of four Iranian diplomats – one of them a member of one of the most prominent families in the Tehran regime – in Beirut in 1982. The pro-Iranian group was unsuccessful in finding Arad’s place of burial. In 2005, Israel received information that it believes confirms that Arad died in Lebanon between 1995 and 1997. Iran was involved in the talks because it was Iran’s Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRGC) that held Arad from 1988 until his death. The group is also under pressure to solve the case of the four missing Iranian diplomats. The Persian regime has accused Israel of kidnapping and holding them alive in the Jewish state. Over the past 12 years, several attempts have been made to resolve both of these missing cases, with the two cases being closely intertwined.

Over 24 hours after a building collapsed in Tel Aviv, three people have been confirmed dead and three others were still missing. Soldiers and rescue units were working around the clock, hoping to locate survivors from the four-story structure. At least 20 people were injured when the parking garage collapsed on Monday morning. Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, who cancelled his attendance at the Israel-Italy soccer match Monday evening to visit the wreckage site, praised the ongoing search and rescue efforts and expressed hope the missing workers would be found alive. “The forces here are working

Don’t pass the buck Eytan Kobre on page 70

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | The Jewish Home

as quickly as possible to try to save those trapped. It’s a difficult, challenging [but] professional effort,” he said, wishing those injured in the accident a speedy recovery. Workers have a challenging and tiring job. They need to work as fast as they can but have to remove rubble in a delicate manner so as not to hurt those they are searching to find. The task is slow, arduous and emotional, as they know victims’ families are still holding out hope for their survival.

States that are Kindest to Our Wallets

Be prepared, though. Some of the tax-friendly states ask for more on property tax to compensate for no income tax. Some states are able to keep their taxes low because they are rich from natural resources. However, as oil prices continue to drop, states such as Alaska may be forced to reconsider their low state taxes. Expect that in some states with little or no state income tax there will be less money to repair broken roads,

build beautiful parks, or infuse the education system with technology. In order to rank the states, data and state tax policy details were analyzed. To help rank the most – and least – friendly states, the Tax Institute at H&R Block prepared an analysis that determined the effective tax rate for two income scenarios: One for a single filer making $45,000 a year taking the standard deduction, and one for a more complex tax profile: a married couple filing jointly, with two dependent children, an earned income of $150,000, qualified dividends of $5,000, and $10,000 of mortgage interest to deduct. By running the numbers for both scenarios in every state, the rankings were determined. The most tax-friendly states bring smiles to your bank account. Here are our nation’s top ten: 1. Wyoming 2. Alaska 3. Florida 4. Nevada 5. Arizona 6. Louisiana 7. Alabama 8. South Dakota 9. Mississippi 10. Delaware

These states gobble down your earnings (and yes, the Big Apple makes the list). The least tax-friendly states are: 1. California 2. Hawaii 3. Connecticut 4. New York 5. New Jersey 6. Minnesota 7. Maine 8. Vermont 9. Illinois 10. Rhode Island

Georgetown to Give Preference to Slaves’ Descendants It would be any high school senior’s dream to be admitted to Georgetown University in Washington, D.C. But it requires hard work, an excellent GPA, impressive SAT scores, and some luck. However, another credential has just been added in order to increase one’s chances – but it’s not something you can work

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Taxes are tough to swallow, especially for the middle class that often gets hit the worst. But there are some states that soften the blow just a little

by offering extremely low state taxes. State tax varies from state to state, though, and can save you or cost you thousands of dollars each year. So what are the states most friendly to your wallets? Well, it seems that no tax makes your change purse happy. Five of the ten most tax-friendly states on the list have no state income tax at all.

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The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

or pay for. The college recently announced that it will provide preferential admission and financial aid to the offspring of 272 slaves sold nearly two centuries ago by the Maryland Jesuits to pay off debts the school owed. Of course they say that only qualified applicants will get admitted to the school, but descendants of the sold slaves will have their application sent to the top of the pile. “We will give descendants the same consideration we give members of the Georgetown community in the admissions process,” the president said in a letter to the Georgetown community. Georgetown is taking responsibility for its involvement in the slave trade and trying to make amends.

In 1838, the Revs. Thomas Mulledy and William McSherry, previous presidents at the university, sold the slaves for about $115,000 in order to settle school debts. That doesn’t sound like much now, but consider inflation over the last 200 years and that is equivalent to about $3 million now. Upon their sale, the slaves were sent from the Jesuits’ plantations in Maryland to Louisiana “where they labored under dreadful conditions.” This is regarded as one of the biggest sales of slaves in history. The exchange was thoroughly documented – it included the names of all individuals sold in the bill of sale, a transport manifest, and other documents. John J. DeGioia, president of Georgetown, organized the Working Group on Slavery, Memory and Reconciliation in an attempt to acknowledge Georgetown’s historical relationship with slavery last September. Faculty, students, staff, and alumni all served on the panel and, after collaborating, they concluded that the university should recognize the sale and issue a formal apology. “The University, despite the many ways that it has invested resources over the past half-century to heal the wounds of racial injustice, has not made such an apology,” the report from the panel says. “While there can be empty apologies, words of apology, genuinely expressed, make a difference in the quest for reconcil-

iation.” To demonstrate the university’s commitment to this cause DeGioia has been visiting descendants of the slaves around the nation in Spokane, Washington, and Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Another move Georgetown will make in order to show that they’re truly apologetic is renaming two campus buildings that had been named for the priests who orchestrated the sale. DeGioia revealed that one building will be renamed Isaac after the first mentioned slave in the documents of the sale. The second structure will be called Anne Marie Becraft after a free African-American woman who founded a school for black girls in the Georgetown neighborhood in 1827. The report also made some other suggestions that have yet to be implemented. The panel recommended building a memorial to the slaves and their families on the grounds of the university with all 272 names displayed. In addition, they are hoping to create a new branch of the university called Institute for the Study of Slavery and its Legacies at Georgetown. They would also like to see the school increase efforts for recruiting more black students, especially from those regions where the slave trade broke up families.

Chicago’s 500th Homicide

Over the Labor Day weekend Chicago hit an alarming number; 500 people have been killed in the city so far this year. 2016 is now the deadliest year in two decades. Despite the frightening number, Chicago is not the homicide capital of the nation. New Orleans, St. Louis, Detroit, Baltimore and Newark all have higher rates when you drill down the data per capita. But 500 killings by the end of the summer means that it’s projected to reach almost 700 murders this year. Compare that with 2015, when 480 people were killed

SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | The Jewish Home

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New Drug May Help Alzheimer’s Patients Each year more than 3 million Americans are diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. It is heartbreaking for a family to watch their beloved mother or grandmother react to the progressive brain disease. The sickness changes the patient’s ability to think, reason, or solve problems. Researchers are now claiming to have invented a medication to reverse and prevent the effects of Alzheimer’s, also known as senile dementia. The new investigational drug by Biogen is intended to reduce the major effects of the disease and to slow down cognitive decline. Researchers cautioned that the drug is just in the experimental phase and needs to be tested further.

in all. Most of the deaths are gun-related. Chicago, interestingly, has very strict gun laws, which leads advocates for gun rights to point that gun laws do not necessarily prevent deaths. Sixty percent of the guns used in the homicides are from out of state. Illinois Gov. Bruce Rauner

recently signed a new gun control law that imposes harsher penalties on those who bring in guns from out of state to sell and do not have gun-owner ID cards. The city is known for its deeply rooted distrust of the police. And street crime there is rampant, forcing residents to hide indoors and

tangling innocent bystanders in the crossfire. “If you live in a society where [your children] have to learn to duck and dodge bullets, you have to teach them how to duck and dodge bullets,” a resident said earlier this month. “That’s all you can do.”

Alzheimer’s disease is marked by amyloid plaques, the main offender in the most common form of dementia. Build-up of amyloid proteins leads to plaques, which blocks cellto-cell signaling. During the experiment researchers tested an antibody to see whether it would be able to cling to and then break down amyloid protein. “We are pretty certain of the fact that the antibody reduces the amyloid plaques and in some ways gets rid of the majority of it,” Alfred Sandrock, senior author of the paper from Massachusetts-based Biogen, said. “That’s important because if we really want to treat Alzheimer’s at even the very earliest stages, then we felt it was important for our antibody to remove the plaque that’s already there.” Today, there are 5.4 million Americans suffering from Alzheimer’s disease, of which there is no known cure. One in three seniors dies from Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia. It is the 6th leading cause of death in the United States.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

Electric Gold

Some athletes who’ve earned gold in the Olympics have literally cashed in on their prizes. Some countries throw thousands of dollars at their winners; others buy their champions houses and luxury cars. This woman, though, really lit up the sky with her win. Faith Kipyegon is a 22-year-old Kenyan runner who won the gold in the 1500-meter women’s race in Rio just weeks ago. Amazingly, Faith’s friends in town couldn’t even watch her win; her hometown of Ndabibit

hasn’t had electricity since it was settled in the 1980s. But Faith’s win put her town on the map, and her fame brought their predicament to light. After the Games, Kipyegon’s father, Samuel Kipyegon, made a direct plea to the Kenyan president in the African paper the Daily Nation. He asked for electricity for the village to allow him to watch his daughter race. The next day, his request was granted, and workers began installing power lines to the whole area. Nine days later, the village was completely wired. Although Faith’s dad doesn’t yet have a TV or a computer on which he can watch his daughter race, Samsung has promised to gift him a set soon, giving Kipyegon and his family the ability to watch Faith’s next big win – with the lights on.

Token Time When Matthew Ahn sets his mind to achieve something, he doesn’t lose his train of thought. The determined lawyer broke a Guinness

World Record this summer doing something we all would like to do a lot less of – riding the NYC subways. Ahn traveled to every single subway stop on 24 train lines in New York City’s slithering subway system throughout the five boroughs. He managed to reach every one of the 469 stations in just 21 hours, 28 minutes and 14 seconds – a winning record.

Armed with a GoPro strapped to his chest, an iPhone, five granola bars for an energy boost, and numerous bottles of water, the 25-yearold created a detailed spreadsheet and itinerary of subway timetables and routes to help him break the record. His journey started right here at Far Rockaway-Mott Avenue on the A train at 2:02am and ended more than 21 hours later at Flushing-Main

Street on the 7 train. The journey wasn’t easy. It was one of the hottest days of the summer, reaching at least 93 degrees – and that’s above ground. Imagine what some of those subway stops felt like. Ahn also needed to acquire witness signatures, time-stamped photos, and a detailed log of the opening and closing of each subway to qualify for Guinness. To get the most out of his time, Ahn ran a total of eight miles between stations instead of waiting for certain transfers. Thankfully he wore sneakers. The race that Ahn won was actually against himself. His previous world record, totaling 21 hours, 49 minutes, and 35 seconds, was nullified when the 34th Street-Hudson Yards subway stop in Manhattan was opened in September 2015. This time he managed to shave 21 minutes and 21 seconds off his previous total time. “I would like all the food, and then I would like to sleep,” Ahn said as soon as he completed his trip. “That would be great!” Sounds like his brain is still a bit lost in the subway.

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Chowing Down

Here’s a chance to win a whole lot of cash – and some extra pounds – while stuffing your face. On September 18, the brave of stomach and heart will try their hand at Wayback Burgers’ ninth annual Triple Triple Challenge. Those who will be crowned the “Triple Triple Chompion” will not just have lined their arteries with layers of glistening fat, they will also line their bank accounts with $3,300. So what do you have to do to win the title of most gluttonous? According to Wayback Burgers, you just have to chow down on “the Triple Triple Burger, 9 patties of beefy

goodness topped with 9 slices of gooey cheese, lettuce and tomato, in the shortest amount of time nationwide.” Nine burgers? Tums, Tums, Tums, Tums, Tuuums. If you’re going to try out, you better start exercising your esophagus. Last year’s winner and defending “chompion,” Molly Schuyler, ate the ginormous burger in a little more than 40 seconds. As of last week, more than 800 people have signed up for their chance at the heartburn hamburger. Perhaps they should rename it heart attack in a bun – or two.

ease, she didn’t even know what the term meant and then ordered regular pancakes. This unassuming customer outraged the café so much that they changed their policy for all customers. “From now on, guests who demand gluten-free food are required to produce a doctor’s note which states that you suffer from celiac disease. Guests following a gluten-free fad, who don’t even know what gluten is, can … eat regular food like everybody else.”

A Café without Courtesy Don’t like gluten in your pancakes? Well, unless you have a doctor’s note confirming that you’re suffering from celiac disease, it’s boo-hoo for you – at least when you’re dining at White Moose Café in Dublin, Ireland. Recently, a customer at the diner ordered gluten-free pancakes. When asked if she had celiac dis-

Their post attracted a lot of attention – and not all of it good. They either must have the best food in the world or a lot of money in the bank,

since they seem to have no problem taking digs at their customers. One outraged post read: “I don’t know who your spokesperson is but he/she should [brush] up on their lack of knowledge about gluten free. I won’t be visiting your café any time soon.” The café responded: “Well when WILL you be visiting. I’d like to know. So I can LOCK THE FRONT DOOR.” Later on, after realizing the brouhaha their lack of finesse to their customers caused, the café posted this for those who were hurt by their comments: “We are giving away free bandages for anyone whose feelings have been hurt over the past day or two. The bandages come in different sizes depending on how much of a … idiot you are.” I think the joke is on us if we patronize this establishment.

Ice Cold Criminals Start screaming. Someone has been stealing the ice cream and they’re probably the coldest crimi-

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

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and 100 more of Talenti — in three separate heists. Summertime is obviously ice cream time and the thieves have been casing the freezers and pilfering the sweet frozen confections. With all that ice cream are these thieves rolling on the floor with brain freeze? The police don’t think so. They surmise that the frozen dessert is being sold to bodegas and small mom-and-pop stores by the thieves. The owner of Gristedes, John Catsimatidis, has offered a reward for the arrest of these thieves. Now, pints are no longer stacked a few high – they’re only put in one high, so thieves can only take one at a time.

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nals to have hit the streets. The police have been asking the public for assistance in identifying four suspects in a string of ice cream thefts that have been perpetrated in Manhattan since November. For the past few months, the coldhearted

criminals have swiped approximately 1,249 cartons or bars of ice cream and gelato in 11 thefts. All the thefts took place in chain stores like Duane Reade, CVS and Gristedes. “They come at night, like two or three of them, with bags,” a Duane

Reade employee said. “They fill them up and run out of the store.” And they take the good stuff: Ben & Jerry’s, Talenti, Haagen-Dazs. On one day in January, thieves made off with 256 pints of ice cream — including 100 pints of Haagen-Dazs

In Duane Reade, if a clerk thinks an ice cream bandit is on the loose, they announce on the PA system, “Security, walk the floor.” A screen near the ice cream cooler in one store shows surveillance feeds to shoppers. But that has still not kept thieves at bay; they have raided that store four times since December — twice on one day, 90 minutes apart. At some CVS stores, an alarm rings when someone opens the ice cream freezers. Other CVS stores have put locks on the coolers; an employee needs to open the case for shoppers. “It’s sad,” said one manager. “To resort to stealing ice cream.”

Make it a nutritious year. Aliza Beer on page 88

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

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Around the

Community Darchei Torah Students Inspire Jews Across America

or two weeks this summer, four separate groups of Yeshiva Darchei Torah bochurim and alumni, as well as one maggid shiur from Mesivta Chaim Shlomo, spent a portion of their summer break learning with and inspiring Jewish communities under the aegis of Torah Umesorah’s Project S.E.E.D. The bochurim, who had only recently completed the spring zman at the end of Tammuz, were graciously hosted by families in Nebraska, California, Texas, and Florida. Learning Torah with community members both young and old, they created a kiddush Hashem in each locale – not only by word and deed but by their example. A member of the Los Angeles community summed it up best when he wrote the following to Rabbi Yaakov Bender, Rosh HaYeshiva of Yeshiva Darchei Torah: Just want to let you know what an incredible job you’ve done with your talmidim. We had the benefit of seeing and hearing them... They were extraordinarily calm, inspired, and well-prepared. A real kiddush HaShem! Keep up the good work – we need it these days.

Aryeh Moskowitz with a community member in Miami Beach, FL

Netanel Myerowitz teaching Torah in Omaha, Nebraska

Yisroel Yaakov Horowitz learning with a community member in Miami Beach, FL

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

Around the Community

MAY Welcomes New Rabbeim

esivta Ateres Yaakov’s signature warmth and effective chinuch is, of course, a product of its talented and dedicated rabbeim. Those attributes will be perpetuated as MAY welcomes two new talented and experienced rabbeim to its limudei kodesh faculty. Both are well known members of the Five Towns and Rockaway community, who will now join MAY’s famous chinuch team. Rabbi Shlomo Karp has assumed the role of 11th grade rebbe at the Mesivta. After learning in Yeshivas Mir Yerushalayim, Rabbi Karp continued his studies at Yeshiva Ohr HaChaim in Queens. He received his smicha from Rabbi Zalman Nechemia Goldberg, shlit”a, in Eretz Yisrael. Rabbi Karp has extensive chinuch experience, having served as 8th grade Rebbe in HALB and 12th grade Rebbe at Mesivta Yesodei Yeshurun in Queens. “We are so excited to have Rabbi Karp join our staff at the Yeshiva,” commented Menahel, Rabbi Mordechai Yaffe. “I fully expect that with his warm personality, intuitive clarity and vast experience, he will make a seamless transition.” Rabbi Tsvi Greenfield, previously a popular MAY sho’el u’meishiv and part-time Rebbi, will now become a 10th grade maggid shiur. He is an alumnus of Yeshivas Toras Moshe, where he learned for three years, fol-

lowed by another three years in the Mir Yeshiva under Rabbi Elimelech Resnick, shlit”a. Rabbi Greenfield received s’micha from Rav Moshe Shternbach, shlit”a, and is a graduate of the Torah U’Mesorah’s Merkaz Teacher Training Program. Prior to joining MAY, Rabbi Greenfield was a maggid shiur in Yeshivas Ohr HaChaim in Queens and a Night Seder Rebbe at DRS. “Rabbi Greenfield personifies what it means to be a Rebbe at Ateres Yaakov. He cares unconditionally about the growth of each and every one of his talmidim, in limud haTorah, yir’as Shamayim, and all the other aspects of their lives,” said S’gan Menahel, Rabbi Yossi Bennett. As the MAY student body continues to grow, these incredible additions to the limudei kodesh faculty will continue building mature, accomplished, b’nei Torah, one talmid at a time.

SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | The Jewish Home

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

PHOTO CREDIT ERAN ABRAMOVICH

Inaugural Siyum Marks First Anniversary of Torat Refoel Community Kollel of Yeshivas Ner Shlomo in Cedarhurst

Rabbi Halpern and Rabbi Silberberg talking in learning

he recent inaugural siyum of Torat Refoel Kollel of Yeshiva Ner Shlomo, held at the kollel, was both an affirmation and celebration of a new makom Torah in the heart of the Five Towns. Since its incep-

tion close to a year ago, it has already become synonymous with offering learning opportunities that combine rigorous Torah scholarship with personal attention and warmth. Partnering with Rav Daniel Obadia, Rav

of Ha’Chaim V’Hashalom, where the kollel meets, founder and Menahel Rav Avrohom Halpern and Rosh Kollel Rav Sholom Silberberg expressed heartfelt divrei chizuk to kollel members and their wives, all of whom felt

Executive Director Rabbi Shalom Markman learning at the Kollel

privileged to participate in such a chashuve evening of spiritual accomplishment. In the beautifully decorated simcha hall, kollel member Rabbi Avi Goldman led the hadran for the siyum, and was followed by Rabbi Dovi Goldstein, who spoke about how the kollel has made an impact on all the kollel members. The effort put into the siyum made a huge impression as it was palpable how much the kollel values the yungeleit. Special mention was made of the kollel members’ wives, who completely support their husband’s commitment to full time limud haTorah. The kollel embraces their support and recognizes that if a wife doesn’t appreciate her husband’s learning, there can be no future learning and the home itself will be affected. A short video followed where each kollel member had an opportunity to express personal feelings about the kollel. Everyone was in-

spired to see how, in such a short time, the kollel has made such an impact on these young men. The evening was concluded by a special message from Mr. Michael Edri, a staunch supporter of the kollel, where he shared with the crowd the great years he had when he was in kollel and expressed how it was the best investment he ever made. The Executive Director, Rabbi Shalom Markman, expressed his excitement about the siyum as a milestone for the kollel, reflecting the many opportunities for learning that the kollel now brings to the community. “As a kollel member myself, I am thrilled to be learning with and alongside the Rosh Kollel, a talmud chacham of astounding proportions. There is achdus among the kollel members, which inspires each of us to shteig harder and deeper. It all creates a one of a kind learning experience that I am very proud to be part of, both as a kollel member and as Executive Director.” Rav Obadia explained that “this evening is a fulfillment of a dream I’ve had for many years. I was waiting for the opportunity to bring Torah and Yiddishkeit to the middle of Cedarhurst. When I approached my good friend, Rav Avrohom Halpern, last Elul to open up a makom Torah in the middle of Cedarhurst, he immediately agreed and approached Rav Sholom Silberberg for the position of Rosh Kollel. Amazingly, he succeeded in opening up the kollel right after Succos.” Rav Halpern marvels how a talmud chacham of Rav Silberberg’s caliber can create a special relationship between himself and each of the yungeleit who come to partake of the Rosh Kollel’s wisdom and learning expertise on a daily basis. He points out, “I am inspired by how

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

Around the Community

The Kollel

“The balance between sustaining a Torah community and creating Torah Yidden is all part of Yeshiva Ner Shlomo’s founding mission.” -Rabbi Avrohom Halpern, menahel the Rosh Kollel reaches out to the kollel, spending most of his day learning with the kollel members.” Rabbi Markman adds, “Our bais midrash is the best

kept secret in the Five Towns. As one of the original kollel members, I felt the warmth and sincerity from the moment I walked in. Everyone here is sincere about his

At the inaugural Siyum

learning and makes an effort to connect with each other.” Under Rav Silberberg’s guidance and expertise, the kollel is committed to uplift every Yiddishe neshama who wants

to hear the Dvar Hashem. “I’m excited about having a bais medrash filled with talmidei chachamim of a strong caliber,” Rav Silberberg notes. The Rosh Kollel has already infused the kollel with his vision of uncompromised limud haTorah. The yungeleit recognize this in their Rosh Kollel and value it enormously. Rav Obadia joins Rav Silberberg in his appreciation of the vibrant learning taking place in the kollel. He shares, “The highlight of my day is when my mispallelim walk into the bais medrash, see the excitement which infuses each chavrusa, and feel the energy emanating from these dedicated bnei Torah.” Rav Halpern is enthusiastic that the kollel has already established a strong base and is eager to take the kollel to the next level. “Our next step is to reach people of all levels. Future plans already include early morning and evening kollels in the same location for serious bnei Torah who

Rav Daniel Obadia

have begun to branch out into the working world but want to keep their connection to limud haTorah strong. The balance between sustaining a Torah community and creating Torah Yidden is all part of Yeshiva Ner Shlomo’s founding mission, a mission that has begun to be realized with the recently held siyum at the yeshiva, the new shining light of Torah scholarship just around the corner in downtown Cedarhurst.”

SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | The Jewish Home

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A Fresh New Face at Yachad

his past month, Yachad, the National Jewish Council for Disabilities, has hired many new talented staff members. For the NY area, Yachad would like to formally introduce Rabbi Ahron Rosenthal as the new Director of New York. Yachad is an agency of the OU and continues to be an innovator in the field of inclusion with their many programs and services benefiting the disabilities community. Rabbi Ahron Rosenthal brings a wealth of experience in both formal and informal education, previously serving as an administrator at Yeshiva Har Torah in Queens for the past nine years and has been actively involved with the disabilities community promoting inclusion through his involvement with Camp Kaylie as the head counselor, spending his summers there since its inception six years ago. He stated about his joining Yachad, “I am so excited to be a part of Yachad, a truly vital and innovative organization and look forward to contributing to its continued growth and success in all areas.” Dr. Jeffrey Lichtman, International Director of

Yachad, shares his excitement, “Rabbi Rosenthal will make many positive contributions to NY and New Jersey programming, services and beyond.” As the Jewish community expands exponentially, Yachad looks to increase their programming and initiatives to meet the needs of those growing and emerging communities. If you are interested in getting more involved in Yachad’s lay leadership, or bringing to your community, Shabbatons, programs or vocational services, please contact Rabbi Rosenthal at Rosenthala@ou.org.

St. John’s Episcopal Hospital’s 10Th Annual Ocean Walk

et’s take an Ocean Walk for a great cause! This fun event has raised $330,000 to date and benefits from this year’s event go towards obstetrics and maternity. What: 10TH Annual Ocean Walk

Who: Reva Oliner, Chairperson Dr. Don Morrish, Chair of Doctor’s Committee Margarita Parliaonas Co-Chair Marianne Rickert Co-Chair Special Guest: Mercedes Buchannan, Chief of Staff to Councilmember Donovan Richards Lisa George, Community Liaison, Senator James Sanders Tanya Whittmore, Healthfirst When: Thursday, September 8th at 5PM Where: Outside the main entrance to St. John’s Episcopal Hospital 327 Beach 19th Street Far Rockaway, NY 11691 Why: One of our annual fundraisers – all funds for this year’s walk will benefit Obstetrics and Maternity For more information, contact Thomas Thomson, Director of Marketing at 718-869-7750.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

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The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

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MVP Boys 2016 – Another Slam Dunk Season

Five Towns campers enjoy a swim break away from the courts

VP, the premier Jewish Orthodox boys’ basketball camp at Camp Seneca Lake, under the Direction of Irv Bader and Judah Rhine, celebrated its eighth consecutive season of record breaking registration and enrollment. 4 divisions, 24 teams, and over 120 games were played over the course of the 5 day camp! The games were competitive and exciting with many last minute buzzer beater end-

ings. This year’s MVP featured players with all levels of playing ability. Players from grades 3 thru 12, representing many schools throughout the tri-state area, including: Yavneh, Noam, YNJ, Moriah, Ashar, TABC, Frisch, JEC, HAFTR, HALB, HANC, North Shore Hebrew Academy, YCQ, Har Torah, SAR, Ramaz, Derech HaTorah, MTA, Rambam, MAY, DRS, Kushner, Beit Rabban, Ben Porat Yosef, Magen David, Yeshivah of

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Flatbush, Hillel Yeshivah, and others. Campers travelled from as far away as Chicago to join MVP. Some of the counselors/coaches were former MVP players and were able to give over their experiences to this year’s MVP players from their years at MVP. Upon arrival, each MVP player received his very own reversible MVP jersey featuring the MVP logo. Each day at MVP was filled with a jam-packed schedule starting with Shachris, followed by breakfast, and then a series of activities including conditioning, clinics, swim featuring the Seneca giant slide, league games, after lunch visits to Seneca Sprinkles ice cream parlor, 3 on 3 and 2 on 2 and 1 on 1 competitions and much, much more. After dinner, all MVP players went to the shul for Mincha and Maariv. Following the Night Games and the nightly individual skills contests for each grade (plus a movie for Juniors), the late night barbeques gave all the MVP players across all the divisions and schools the opportunity to interact and meet up with each other. Special events that took place included the Annual Spectacular MVP Challenge Endurance Competition. On the final day of MVP 2016, the Championship Games for each division were played at beautiful brand new Seneca Center Complex as well as Seneca Park (featuring stadium seating). They were followed by lunch and the annual closing awards ceremonies, where over 100 trophies were distributed to champions from all the many competitions that took place during the course of the week, including the MVP awards to the

MVPs of each of the Leagues. Once all the busses were boarded, every MVP player was so excited to receive his very own MVP Klipped kippah and MVP cinch sack and was already looking forward to MVP 2017. In reviewing this year’s MVP experience, co-director Judah Rhine stated, “This was by far our best season ever. There is something here for everyone. Every camper is truly an MVP.” This year, MVP was privileged to have legendary head coach at Yeshiva University, Johnny Halpert. Coach Halpert gave clinics to the campers and stated, “This is by far the best basketball program for Jewish basketball players.” In addition, MVP had their resident staff including Barry Neuberger, associate athletic director at Columbia University; Andy Weitzen, head coach of Ramaz Middle School varsity, as well as others, who gave multiple clinics to all the MVP players. MVP has already started planning for MVP 2017 which promises to be even better! Please continue to check the Seneca website, www. senecalake.com, and click on the MVP link for information on MVP 2017 and to check out pictures from this past season. Once again, this past season, registration was sold out, which resulted in a waiting list. Please make sure to register early so you don’t get closed out. For more information, go to www.senecalake.com and click on the MVP link or contact Judah Rhine at mvp4boys@gmail.com or Irv Bader at info@senecalake.com.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

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Rav Shlomo Avigdor Altusky, the Rosh Yeshiva of Beis Medrash Heichal Dovid at Far Rockawayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Yeshiva Darchei Torah, recently visited Eretz Yisrael. While there he visited and conferred with several of the leading sages of our generation.

At the engagement of Tzvi Bald of Far Rockaway to Miriam Frank of Lakewood. L-R: Rabbi Shmuel Strickman, Rabbi Zev Bald, Tzvi Bald, Rabbi Yaakov Bender, Rabbi Moshe Bender and Rabbi Boruch Rothman. Not pictured: Rabbi Dovid Bender.

SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | The Jewish Home

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A New Era for Yeshiva Nishmas Hatorah

ith much siyata d’Shmaya, Yeshiva Nishmas Hatorah is finishing construction on their newly acquired building. The building is located in Old Woodmere and will house the Bais Medrash, Shiur room, dining room and a dorm. Over the past five years, the Yeshiva has developed its ideals and this new building will give opportunity for the hashkafa and hashpa’a to reach and affect a wider spectrum of bochurim and the community at large. The Yeshiva has much hakoras hatov towards Beis Medrash Heichal Dovid and the Chofetz Chaim Torah Center for hosting and accommodating the Yeshiva the past few years. The Yeshiva, under the leadership of Rabbi Yissachar Blinder and Rabbi Pinchus Weinberger, was created with a plan. They envisioned a mossad that would give bochurim opportunities to develop direction and tools for life during one of their most crucial growth periods. The Ye-

shiva is geared for bochurim coming back from Eretz Yisrael, a time when bochurim are in a state of transition, from full time yeshiva learning to the great balancing act of life. These bochurim strive to make Torah a pri‫בס"ד‬

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ority, yet must balance learning with other obligations. Their goals are to mature in their Yiddishkeit, while dating and getting married, getting a college degree, deciding on career choices and beginning their careers. With these ambitions, the roshei hayeshiva, bentched with tremendous siyata d’Shmaya, have created a warm Torahdike environment that has all the trappings of a standard Yeshiva with three sedorim and minyanim daily. In addition to Gemara b’iyun, the daily schedule is designed to include a more wholesome approach to Yiddishkeit. Each morning begins with a hashkafa discussion, there is a Chumash and halacha seder, limudim in hilchos bein adom l’chaveiro and chassidus. Sunday mornings are greatly anticipated by the bochurim, Rabbi Boruch Greenspan, a dayan from Lakewood, engages the bochurim with practical business concepts in halacha, choosing topics that have a daily relevance. Besides for an emphasis on the daily learning, the yeshiva understands its responsibility in preparing the bochurim for the world outside of yeshiva. The yeshiva has been privileged to hear from a number of successful balei batim in the community, as part of a lunch and learn session. These presentations give the bochurim a glimpse into the challenges and successes of remaining a ben Torah while out of yeshiva. Dating and marriage are another front that yeshiva realizes its pivot-

al role in. A number of professional presentations on relationships and dating have been delivered and those that are in the “parsha” are given guidance and direction. Rabbi Abi Goldenberg, Menahel of the yeshiva, gives an engaging, thought-provoking, high level iyun shiur. He is available to counsel bochurim on all areas of life with special expertise in proper filtering and usage of smartphones. Rabbi Goldenberg embodies everything the yeshiva stands for. The bochurim relish having such a role model. The yeshiva has been privileged to hear from some of the leading mashpiim of our generation. This past year, HaRav Hagaon R Yehoshua Eichenstein, Rav Zev Leff, Rabbi Doniel Neustadt, Rabbi YY Rubinstein, Rabbi Dovid Gottlieb, Rabbi Chaim Dovid Zwiebel, among others, have graced the yeshiva. The yeshiva is fully accredited by Touro College and Empire State University. There is a college advisor on hand for any concern a bochur or parent might have. The ruach is incredible. There is a unique level of achdus and camaraderie, which is developed through close connections with rebbeim, Shabbosim, retreats, and trips. The yeshiva was created with a vision, and the close to 60 alumni are testimony to its success. These talmidim are passionate, responsible, active participants of their communities, aim to be great husbands, great fathers and most importantly, great Yidden! We anticipate moving into our new home towards the end of Elul zman. This new building will give the Yeshiva a home base, where the kiddush Hashem can continue to take place. It will be b’ezras Hashem, be a makom Torah, where all talmidim, past and present, will feel comfortable b’ruchniyus ub’gashmius. The Yeshiva is looking forward to a year of continued hatzlacha in all areas. For more information and/or dedication opportunities, please contact the Yeshiva at (516) 939-1526 on the net at www.nishmashatorah org or email yeshivanishmashatorah @gmail.com.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

Yeshiva Nishmas Hatorah ‫ברוב שבח והודאה להקב"ה‬

Yeshiva Nishmas Hatorah is proud to announce that we have been Zoche, with much Siyata D’shmaya, to establish a permanent residence on Franklin Place in Woodmere.

This momentous occasion has been made possible due to the unstinting efforts by our Alumni and Friends of the Yeshiva. We THANK YOU from the bottom of our hearts. May HKB”H continue to shower much Brocha and Siyata D’shmaya upon the Yeshiva and allow us to be ‫!מרביץ תורה עד ביאת הגואל‬ BE”H we are looking forward to our Chanukas Habayis when the renovations are complete. Rabbi Yissachar Blinder

Rabbi Pinchus Weinberger Alumni Committee

Rabbi Abi Goldenberg

For dedication opportunities or for information please call 516.939.1526 or email at yeshivanishmashatorah@gmail.com

SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

New United Kehilla Launches with BBQ

xciting things are happening in the Long Beach and Lido Beach community. The four local Orthodox synagogues have joined together to form a single, united community known as the United Kehilla of Long Beach and Lido Beach, or just the “United Kehilla.” The community celebrated its first event this past Sunday, on Labor Day weekend, with a beautiful barbecue celebration which attracted over 200 people. Besides for the delicious BBQ food, there was also lots of family fun with a petting zoo, pony rides and a DJ conducting fun games and activities for the children. The participating shuls are the Bach Jewish Center, the Lido Beach Synagogue, The Young Israel of Long Beach and the Sephardic Congregation Benai Asher. The four synagogue rabbis, Rabbi Moshe Greene (Bach), Rabbi Shaul Rappeport (Lido Beach), Rabbi Chaim Wakslak (Young Israel) and Rabbi David Bibi (Sephardic) recently met in order to coordinate the formation of the United Kehilla and plan activities for the next few months. The rabbis are excited at the great potential that the United Kehilla presents. “Instead of each shul working independently, we are now joining forces and combining resources, in order to provide a much more robust and engaging programing to Jews in the entire area,” explains Rabbi Shaul Rappeport. “It is an exciting time for the Jewish community of Lido Beach and Long Beach. This area is such a wonderful neighborhood to live and raise a family in which already has so many amenities and conveniences right here. Working together with the United Kehilla enables us to make Lido Beach and Long Beach an even greater place for Jewish families to live.” Some of the new programs in-

clude a Motzei Shabbat Selichot program with a guest speaker, a Kinus Teshuva during the Aseret Yemei Teshuva where the four rabbis will address the community on the theme of teshuva, a grand Simchat Beit HaShoeva one evening of Chol HaMoed Sukkot and much more. There will also be a new approach to Torah learning in the community in which all of the shiurim offered will be coordinated through the United Kehilla and offered to all members of the community. Events will rotate between the different synagogues; the barbecue was held at the Lido Beach Synagogue, making great use of the large and comfortable facility the shul has. The United Kehilla is off to a great start, and moving towards the new Jewish year, 5777, the community is feeling very fortunate and optimistic. To spend a Shabbat in the Long Beach or Lido Beach, or for more information, please contact any one of the rabbis: Rabbi Moshe Greene: rabbi@bachyouth.com; Rabbi Shaul Rappeport: rabbi@ lidoshul.org; Rabbi Chaim Wakslak: cwakslak@att.net; and Rabbi David Bibi: davidbibi@gmail.com.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

Around the Community

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Assemblywoman Nily Rozic joined 107th Precinct Deputy Inspector Paul A. Valerga and Rabbi David Winter for a counterterrorism active shooter drill held at the Young Israel of Hillcrest.

Book Review of Dorash Dovid on Moadim Elul-Purim By Rav Dovid Hofstedter Reviewed by: Uriel Greenwood

he moadim, the Jewish holidays, are the highlights of the Jewish year. Often we are so involved in the physical and logistical preparations for the holidays that we lack the wherewithal to contemplate the many questions on the moadim that are in the back of our minds. The newest handsome two-volume English edition of Dorash Dovid provides answers that leave the reader with a more comprehensive understanding of each yom tov. Every maamar in Dorash Dovid begins with several queries, then develops an in-depth approach, opening new vistas that enable one to truly grasp the messages that the Torah and our Sages impart. In this unique work, Rav Dovid Hofstedter, nasi of the internationally acclaimed Dirshu Torah organization, analyzes the opportune times of Elul and the Yamim Noraim. He provides deep and relevant insights into the season of teshuva and the Yamim Tovim of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur as well as the joyous holidays of Sukkos, Shemini Atzeres, Chanukah and Purim. In addition he presents indepth lessons on Tu B’Shevat, and the Four Parshiyos. Virtually every aspect of each of these special times is covered extensively, with a focus on discerning

each yom tov’s message. This is not a sefer of allegorical thoughts; but rather it can be described as “the thinking person’s sefer on the moadim.” Every maamar concludes with a practical lesson that is applicable to everyday life. Dorash Dovid is solidly based on the foundations put forth by the great Rishonim and Acharonim. Its objective is to clarify primary concepts and commentaries related to the moadim and to illuminate its messages. Especially at this time of the year as the Yomim Noraim approach, Dorash Dovid on Moadim is a sefer that will give deeper meaning to the entire season from Elul through Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur and beyond. It is a sefer that has the power to infuse one’s Yomim Noraim with profound inspiration. It will answer many difficulties you have always had; it will ask many questions that you will wonder why you never thought of yourself. If you are looking for a stimulating and meaningful Yomim Noraim season, this is the sefer for you! With his latest contribution to the world of Jewish thought Rav Hofstedter has earned the thanks of thinking Jews the world over. Dorash Dovid on Moadim Elul-Purim was published and distributed by Israel Book Shop.

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CALL FOR MORE INFO: 516-385-1959 OR EMAIL: D4LONLINE@GMAIL.COM

SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

Camp Kadima For Kids

n one corner of the social hall green, orange and yellow plates were neatly spinning on red sticks held by delighted and mesmerized young boys and girls. On the other side of the room older children, some siblings to those in the first group, were mastering rope tricks and flipping devil sticks. All around the back room at the Marion and Aaron Gural JCC in Cedarhurst last week excited children were enjoying a day of fun featuring a special show and individualized workshops run by the National Circus Project. While both day camps and sleep away camps had closed for the season, the Marion and Aaron Gural JCC opened its door to Kadima kids – children from our single parent initiative. Each day for three days overwhelmed and over-extended single parents were able to drop off their children ages 4-11 to our newly created gap camp for a trio of fun-filled programs. Some of the children had not been able to attend any camp this season. For them our Kadima camp was the only camp experience they had this summer. For other children whose parents work full-time and cannot afford to take off during the stressful period before school, the camp was a welcome opportunity for adventure. For all, the camp enabled their struggling single par-

ents a much-needed break to attend to the myriad of responsibilities and obligations that they singlehandedly face on a daily basis knowing their children were being entertained and in good hands. On day two, the Kadima Camp visited Eisenhower Park’s Let All The Children Play, an incredible inclusive park where they were treated to a private magic show, a mini yoga class, face painting and field activities with park volunteers. They then had the opportunity to explore the park’s many unusual stations and equipment Day three brought Camp Kadima kids to the Cradle of Aviation museum where they received a guided tour of the galleries, viewed Living in the Age of Airplanes, an incredible film shown in the vast Dome Theatre, and were able to spend time and enjoy a multitude of interactive and amazing exhibits. Gourmet Glatt kindly sponsored the refreshments for our camp as well as the pizza lunch. Their continued generosity and support of our Kadima program is very much appreciated. The Kadima initiative at the Marion and Aaron Gural JCC is made possible by a generous grant from UJA-Federation of New York and the Jewish Communal Fund. To

find out more about this program call Rachayle Deutsch (516)569-

6733 ext. 222 or email rachayle. deutsch@guraljcc.org.

Congregation Shaaray Tefilah to Host Four Part Marriage Workshop Series for Women

s we prepare for the New Year, it’s time to take stock of our most important relationships and address how we might improve and enhance them in the months ahead. In a new marriage workshop series, noted therapist and lecturer, Rachel Pill, LCSW, will help women do just that. The four part series, entitled “Reawakening Emotional Closeness in Marriage,” will begin this Shabbos, September 10 and continue through October 1. All presentations will be held on Shabbos afternoons at 5:15 pm at Congregation Shaaray Tefilah, 25 Central Ave in Lawrence. Women of all ages – single and married – are invited to participate in this series. Each section will offer

practical advice and Torah-based ideas on how to be mindful of our spouses and children and to temper our emotions in order to be more available in a positive way for our families. Topics Include: Are You Always Tuned in to the Same Frequency? Learn How to Regulate Your Emotions and Improve Your Marriage – September 10 How to be “Mevater” Without Feeling Put Upon – September 17 Understanding and Speaking your Spouse’s Love Language – September 24 Partners and Parents – Staying Together Through the Storm – October 1 “This series will present ways to

make good marriages better. We live in such a fast-paced and disconnected world that we must take a step back in order to focus on our true priorities. Elul is the perfect time to tune back in to our marriages and families and find practical ways to improve those relationships,” said Mrs. Pill. “In addition to married women, single girls who are dating and seeking to build a healthy and positive relationship in their future homes would benefit from attending as well.” “Shaaray welcomes women from all over the Five Towns and Far Rockaway to join us for what is sure to be an enlightening and meaningful program,” said Rabbi Uri Orlian, Rav of Congregation Shaaray Tefilah.

For more information on events and programs at Shaaray please contact Rabbi Orlian at rabbiorlian@shaaray-tefilah.org.

Get your teen ready to learn Page 94

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

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SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

Stacey Pheffer Amato Joins JCCRP for Knapsack Distribution Event

s the summer winds down and the community gears up for the coming school year, the Jewish Community Council of Rockaway Peninsula (JCCRP) is as busy as ever. Last week, Stacey Pheffer Amato, candidate for the State Assembly’s 23rd district, joined the JCCRP to help

distribute free knapsacks and school supplies to some of the community’s neediest families. “Shopping for school supplies and packing your knapsack is an exciting part of the first day of school that every child should be able to experience,” said candidate for Assem-

bly Stacey Pheffer Amato. “Sadly, for many families of limited means in the community, this can be a stressful and financially difficult task. That’s why it was such an honor to join the JCCRP in distributing knapsacks and see the joy on the children’s faces. I applaud the JCCRP’s commitment to our families and look forward to partnering with them on the many great services they offer.” “The JCCRP has been supported by the Pheffer family for decades. Former Assembly Member Audrey Pheffer secured us the grant to purchase our building and was always one of our biggest supporters,” said Nathan Krasnovsky, Executive Director of the Jewish Community Council of the Rockaway Peninsula. “The JCCRP is excited that the next generation is on pace to take up the torch, and we look forward to an equally fruitful partnership with Stacey Pheffer Amato in the years ahead.” As part of a generous donation from UJA-Federation of New York and Met Council on Jewish Poverty, the JCCRP distributed 250 school knapsacks filled with supplies for families in need. Pheffer Amato joined JC-

CRP staff and local community activist Shlomo Zalman Gutfreund in distributing the knapsacks, which came in an assortment of colors, to students of all ages. These knapsacks have made a sizeable impact on what can typically be a time of stress and financial strain for families in the beginning of the school year. Pheffer Amato is running to fill the Assembly seat that will be vacated by outgoing Assembly Member Phil Goldfeder. Goldfeder, who will be leaving politics to head Yeshiva University’s Intergovernmental Affairs, has endorsed Pheffer Amato’s candidacy. The JCCRP is a proud affiliate of Met Council and a beneficiary agency of UJA Federation of NY. The JCCRP provides a range of services for any clients who need assistance in social services or resource directing within the community. Please contact the JCCRP for further information; They are located at 1525 Central Avenue (entrance on Foam Place), Far Rockaway, NY, 11691— Call the JCCRP at (718) 327-7755—or visit them on the web at www.jccrp.org

Ever put your foot in your mouth? Rocky’s Rant on page 108

Week 36 (9-8) - Jewish Home:Layout 1

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OCTOBER 29,8,2015 SEPTEMBER 2016| |The TheJewish JewishHome Home

The Between Camp and School Crisis How I Flunked as a Parent Over 13 Long Days By Anonymous*

t parast line. ot too ds that months uld say

th line, ke”

“C

an I please have an ice cream?” Well, that’s a normal question for a child to ask. What is strange, though, is that my child asked it while she was in the middle of slurping on a big fat vanilla fudge sundae. “Uh, you’re eating an ice cream, sweetie,” I tersely replied. “Oh, can I have a soda?” “Sure,” I responded. “Would you like a twelveounce can or can I get you a

two liter bottle?” Now, before all of you armchair psychologists diagnosis me with being the worst father in the world, let me take it a step back. I’m actually not a bad dad. In fact, I’m probably slightly above average. On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being the dad who plays Pokémon Go at his kid’s Chumash party and 10 being the dad who spends an hour a night with each of his children doing summer homework,

I’m probably a 6. So, not this totally awesome guy, but not bad… I am not the type to read parenting books and I don’t profess to have much professional knowledge in the area of raising children. But I think I have common sense and I generally utilize it to raise my kids. I sort of live by the axiom of “There is nothing you can do to guarantee that you will have good kids. But there are things that you can do to guarantee that

your kids will be messed up. Your job is simply not to do those things.” We all want good things for our children. We want them to be smart, have good personalities, develop good talents, be able to have solid relationships, etc. But I think that above all, one of the most impressive character traits a child can have is to not be spoiled. A child who is not spoiled is generally willing to work hard, can roll with the punches,

doesn’t have unrealistic expectations, is more affable than a spoiled child, and the list goes on. A not-spoiled child will likely grow up to be a notspoiled adult, which is a wonderful character trait. Years ago, I dated a girl who told me that her parents made her pay for her seminary year in Israel out of her own pocket. Throughout high school she babysat and had other odd jobs and all of that money went straight

TheJewish JewishHome Home| SEPTEMBER | OCTOBER 29, 2015 The 8, 2016

into the bank to pay for her seminary. She was not resentful about paying for that Israel year, but proud. That was so impressive to me. She is now my wife. I think that I do an okay job at not overly spoiling my kids 352 days a year. I wish I did better, but it ebbs and flows – sometimes I spoil them a bit much but then we have long stretches where they are not spoiled at all. My barometer of success in that area is whether I see a noticeable change in their overall personality. In other words, after a Chol Hamoed or Chanukah, are they acting differently? Are they more demanding? Less tolerant of their siblings? Usually I find that I can level the plane with minimal turbulence. But, over the past 13 days, the plane went down in the Hudson, and I’m no Sully Sullenberger. Around four months ago – actually two weeks ago – my kids finished camp. And then we began the slow and endless wait for school to begin. JFK had to deal with the Cuban Missile Crisis; 13 days when the world stood on the brink of nuclear war. I have to deal with the Between Camp and School Crisis; 13 days when it feels like the world stands on the brink of nuclear war. At least in my house it does. Over the past 13 days I have learnt just how much space a bored fourteen-yearold boy occupies in a house. It’s like he’s a hurricane waiting to make landfall; you just hope it’s in the toy room in the basement and not in your study when you are trying to respond to emails from your boss. (Talking about hurricanes – nice job scaring us about Hurricane Hermine, Mr. Weatherman... Couldn’t have come at a better time!) I have seen how my pre-teen

daughter literally could turn on the waterworks simply because her younger sister took the purple crayon, leaving her with only 17 other purple crayons to choose from. And, Cjdhsiaxjdbrjdksjdj… Um, Ari, dear, I’m trying to write an article. Can you come back later to try and rip out the computer keys? Now is not such a great time for me. But you know what? It’s not their fault. As much as I joke about it, it’s really not

ney Island (Luna Park pass is $50 and doesn’t include go-carts, the Cyclone, the Ferris wheel or anything else your child will want to do); miniature golf ($40 plus $80 for aloe, lotions and Pedialyte to deal with the ensuing sunburns and dehydration). Why all the trips? Because the poor kids have already logged more miles on their bikes than Lance Armstrong and have spent more time in Cedarhurst Park than the

town out at dinner over the past two weeks. I’ve looked at your tables and you made the same calculation that I make: I can either police my kids by barking orders at them or I can give each of them their own can of soda (who cares about caffeine, we are so much past that) and use it as a carrot (you can drink it if you behave) and a stick (if you don’t behave I will take your soda). Of course they know I won’t

Over the past 13 days, the plane went down in the Hudson, and I’m no Sully Sullenberger.

their fault at all. They are great kids and we do them a tremendous disservice by leaving them with so much free time. It is parenting malpractice on our part. Children are supposed to be busy and have structure and when they don’t have that it is very difficult for them. But what are we supposed to do as parents? Most of us work full time. Yes, we all know of that “supermom” and “superdad” who have color war for their kids between camp and school or do treasure hunts at the local park. And we all hate them … I mean admire them. But not everyone can do that. Many of us are simply too stretched out with our daily schedules. So while we juggle our “nine-to-fives” (now there is an outdated phrase) we end up doing what we can to get our kids out of the house and give them a good time when we can – a Mets game (with parking approximately $250); bowling (ten frames will run you around $70, plus big sodas); a trip to Co-

sculpture horses. There’s only so many times you can go back to the same well. (Yes, I do know about the Eden Resort in Lancaster but that only takes care of 2 days.) And trips are tiring. When I came back from a recent outing my wife asked me why I stopped for sodas and snacks on the half-hour drive home. “Did the kids really need that?” I explained that they didn’t but I did. I simply needed to munch on something to keep me awake at the wheel after frying in the sun for six hours. “I’m not Kim Jung Un,” I told her. “If I’m gonna get snacks, I can’t expect them to just sit there watching a DVD in sorrow!” (Yes, I used to be noble about that too, but I gave that up for sanity.) On days that my wife and I both work and we can’t take them out and we want to go out with them at night, the cheapest and easiest way to do that is to take them to dinner. Don’t frown at me when I say that – I’ve seen you and every other family in this

end up taking it from them because it just ain’t worth dealing with the ensuing tantrum. The result of all this is pure spoliation. So what to do about it? Well, I think we need some help from the schools. Why in the world can’t they start two weeks earlier? In many places, such as California, Florida, Illinois and Texas, even public schools start in mid-August. I’m not suggesting that our yeshiva schools start then, because I know that is not realistic. But why do they have to wait until several days after Labor Day? Why can’t they start in the last week of August? Our yeshivos and the teachers who care so much for our children must know that a long summer vacation is detrimental to their growth. Don’t the schools realize that it only makes the job harder on the teachers when the kids come in after two weeks of no structure at best and at worse being spoiled rotten?

57 63

It’s one thing to have a week off between school and camp – that week is very different than the time off postcamp because that comes after a full year of getting up early and working hard at school so it’s nice for them to be able to unwind a bit. Interestingly, my kids are very mellow that week and simply enjoy sleeping late and relaxing. But why do they need so much time between camp and school? What constructive purpose is there to it? And it’s not like the teachers need the vacation time because they have already been off for two-and-a-half months. If the schools would start a bit earlier, they would have more leeway during the year to give off at other times, such as a few extra days on Chanukah. (I know many parents would complain then too, but I personally would welcome it even though it wouldn’t be easy. I see the value in kids getting a breather from the daily grind and waking up late after so many Chanukah parties.) Also schools are often hesitant to shut down due to snow. How about they tell the parents, “We are going to start the school year earlier, but we are going to be more liberal about closing school due to inclement weather”? Most parents would welcome that. Maybe I’m talking to the wall, but I’ve gotten used to that over the past 13 days. Now I’ll spend the next few months trying to get back to sanity. But first I have take my kids for ice cream sundaes. After all, they are starting school tomorrow … we gotta celebrate! *Not because I am ashamed but because my kids read TJH and I don’t want them to feel bad about their grumpy dad.

SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | The Jewish Home

HONORING OUR DONORS:

MAJOR DEDICATIONS building dedication // ‫בנין באר רחל‬ e

Mark & Barbara Silber mikvah dedication // mikvah sara e Shalom & Reena Vegh

cornerstones e $360,000 (2 available) mikvah pool—immersion room 1

reception area lobby e Robert & Roselin Vegh mikvah pool—immersion room 3

mikvah pool—immersion room 2

Melly & Rochele Lifshitz

mikvah pool—immersion room 4

Vera Solomon Aron & Rachel Solomon

David & Stephanie Sokol

Adam & Arielle Parkoff

corridors

main entryway

Chaim & Livia Jacobs and Family

north wing

south wing

Ezra & Caroline Birnbaum

Moshe & Nechama Ratner

pure water wells for main mikvah

Ari & Ruthy Jungreis

Dani & Michali Rosenthal

David & Beracha Gast

east wing

west wing

Shmuel & Batsheva Neuman

Uri & Devorah Dreifus

pathways to purity exit mezuzah north wing

pathways to purity south, east, west

2 Ari &Available Chaya Cohen

$100,000 (3 AVAILABLE)

e e

$100,000 (1 AVAILABLE)

preparation rooms handicap preparation room

Nachman & Esther Goodman kallah preparation room

Dr. Freddie & Lori Marton

Anonymous Chaim & Ayala Abramson Danny & Chayala Eberstark Yossi & Deena Eisenberger Yaakov & Sori Gade Nosson & Miri Ginsbury

Moshe & Rivky Majeski

Avi & Pessi Goldstein Motty & Malka Klein Ralph & Magda Manella Yossi & Malk Melohn Yanky & Shaindy Neuhoff Avrumi & Aliza Rosenberg

entrance mezuzah

washing stations

Shmuel & Tzipi Schechter

Ushi & Cirri Shafran

$54,000 — (1 AVAILABLE)

library

Aaron & Eva Wexler $18,000 – (1 AVAILABLE)

Menachem & Mariam Lieber

Shalom & Pessy Jacobs

honored contributors ($15,000—$5,000)

Asher & Esty Jungreis Shaul & Batsheva Katz Alan & Carolyn Lieberman Shalom & Iris Maidenbaum Eli & Ava Moskowitz Mordechai & Gyla Schwartz Shalom & Michelle Segelman Jeff & Sharona Weinberg Avi & Elia Weinstock Aron Wexler Joshua Zeitman Myrna Zisman

L'zecher Nishmas

Shlomo Fishel Ben Aron

Lobby mezuzah

Dovid & Tikvah Chesky & Naomi Azman Newman

honored contributors ($15,000 and above) Uri Cohen David & Chanee Deutsch Binyomin & Leah Einhorn Daniel & Ariella Freundlich Rabbi & Rebitzin Ginzburg Eli & Riva Goldschmiedt Pinny & huvi Goldstein Dudi & Esti Gross Zev & Evy Guttman Mendy & Kiki Haas Andrew & Teri Herenstein Shaye & Shani Hirsch,

Shimshi & Yocheved Rosenberg Ari & Daniella Schwartz Nassan & Devorah Treitel

Jonathan Bennett Judd and chassia Boczko Avi & Goldie Dreyfuss Sammy & Chayie Eberstark Dr. Eli & Esther Eisenberger Seth & Zahava Farbman Shmuel & Aviva Francis Brian Gluck Chanann & Suri Greenwald Michael & Faiga Joseph Shlomo & Addi Kapetas Steven & Marjorie Kellner

Mordy & Miriam Kriger Motty & Chanie Lazar Allan & Meira Leibowitz Mindy Liebhard Joshua & Melissa Mitgang Avi & Chava Popack Joel and Segal Rothman Marcel and Tami Scheinman Heshy & Sharon Shterm Eddie & Allison Silver Hillel & Saritte Silvera Moshe And Jenine Sommerstein

Yaakov & Yona Spinner David & Ruchi Turner Shiya & Sarala Weiss Moshe & Amy Weiss Shlomie & Blimy Weiss Avrumy & Estie Zelmanovitz

To arrange a named sponsorship, please call 516-962-3001 or contact: Moishe Ratner, Shmulie Schechter, Yoeli Steinberg or Meir Krengel

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

THE FINAL STRETCH:

TOGETHER WE CAN!

With the partnership of each family, we can complete this monumental Mikvah for all of our families. Please join us today at the level of your ability.

‫דורות ישרים מבורכים‬

SUPPORTERS OF GENERATIONS E

$3,600

‫בנין עדי עד‬

DONORS & BUILDERS E

$1,800

'‫בנים אתם לה‬

FRIENDS & FAMILY E

$1,000

Donate online at GROVESTREETMIKVAH.ORG Mailing Address: GROVE STREET MIKVAH INC. | PO BOX 485 | CEDARHURST, NY 11516

24 66 1.

OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | The Jewish Home

TJH You gotta be

Centerfold kidding

Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed? She couldn’t control her pupils! Teacher: James, where is your homework? James: I ate it. Teacher: Why? James: You said it was a piece of cake! Child: Today my teacher yelled at me for something I didn’t do. Mother: What was that? Child: My homework! Mother: Son, why does your geography exam have a big zero over it? Son: It is not a zero, mum. The teacher ran out of stars, so she gave me a moon instead!

Teacher: You’ve got your shoes on the wrong feet. Pupil: But these are the only feet I’ve got! Teacher: Could you please pay a little attention? Student: I’m paying as little attention as I can. Son: Hey, Mom, I got a hundred in school today. Mom: That’s wonderful! What did you get a hundred in? Son: In two things: I got forty in reading and sixty in spelling. Son: I’m not going back to school ever again Mother: Why not? Son: The teacher doesn’t know a thing, all she does is ask questions.

Riddle me this? During lunch one day a group of five boys from Mr. Smith’s class ate lunch together. One of them mixed the ketchup and mustard bottles together and the cafeteria manager wanted to know who it was. When the boys were questioned, they made the following statements in respective order: 1. Rex: “Neither Earl nor I did it.” 2. Jack: “It was Rex or Peter.” 3. Peter: “Both Rex and Jack are lying.” 4. Dan: “Peter’s statement is not true; one of them is lying and the other is speaking the truth.” 5. Earl: “What Dan said is wrong.” When Mr. Smith was consulted, he said, “Three of these boys are always truthful, but everything that two of them say will be a lie.” Assuming that Mr. Smith is correct, who mixed the ketchup and mustard together? See answer on next page

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015 The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

Good Excuse These are school excuse notes (including original spelling) from all over the country

 My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take P.E. Today. Please execute him.

 Please excuse Casey from school. It was Take Your Daughter to work day. I don’t have a job, so I made her stay home and do housework.

 Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

 Sorry I was late for school miss, I squirted the toothpaste too much and

 Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and

spent all morning getting it back in the tube.  My son was off school today because I told him to clean his room. It was very messy and took him all day.

also 33.  Please excuse Roland from P.E. For a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip. 

 I was late for school because all the clocks in the house stopped at once, and I was unable to tell the time.

Megan could not come to school

today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

 I was late for class because the bell  Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

rang before I got here!! 

 Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

Teacher, contrary to what you think, I wasn’t

late today, I was just early for tomorrow.  I didn’t come to school yesterday because I was

 Ralph was absent yesterday because of a sour throat.

feeling like I was going to be sick, but thankfully I wasn’t.

 Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper

 Al was not in school yesterday because he was didn’t feel like going.

off the porch and when we found it Monday we thought it was Sunday.

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Answer to Riddle: Peter

SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Torah Thought

Parshas Shoftim By Rabbi Berel Wein

e are all in favor of equality and justice. The goal of all democratic societies is to have, as far as humanly possible, an incorruptible and fair judicial system. Since, however, judges are only human, no matter how knowledgeable and altruistic they may be, the perfect judicial system has never yet been achieved.

Nevertheless, in order to make society livable, we are bidden to obey the decisions of the court. As the Talmud itself points out, “even if they proclaim to you that left is right and right is left, you want to listen to them.” The Talmud acknowledges that judicial error is a facet of life … for after all, left is never right and right is never left. So, how are judi-

cial errors ever to be corrected? The answer to that question usually comes with the passage of time and with the application of common sense to the realities of life. The famous dictum in Jewish life has always been “what wisdom cannot accomplish, time will.” Heaven, so to speak, also takes a hand over time in adjusting erroneous judicial decisions and somehow making things come out right in the end. Yet, the Torah emphasizes to us that even though judicial error is possible if not even probable, we are to follow the decisions of our judges for otherwise anarchy will reign and society will dissolve. The decisions of judges may be analyzed and even

judge is limited in perspective and foresight. We are all aware of the law of unintended consequences, which dog all legislation and judicial decision. It is because of this that the Talmud ruefully has G-d, so to speak, busy undoing many of the decisions and actions of leaders and ordinary people in order to achieve the Divine will and purpose in the actions and decisions of humans. All judicial systems contain a process of review and appeal from decisions made by lower courts. This is an inherent realization the judicial error is present and likely in all human affairs. It is of little wonder then that the phrase “trial and er-

The human judge is limited in perspective and foresight.

disagreed with, but judges are to be respected and their judgments eventually are to be fulfilled. Ultimate justice is relegated to the provinces of Heavenly guidance. Jewish tradition ascribes judicial decisions not merely to book knowledge and even to precedent, but also to common sense and an intuition of fairness and equity. The great Rabbi Israel Lipkin of Salant often pointed out that Heaven alone can take into account all of the facets, consequences and results of judgment, reward and punishment. The human

ror” is so well known in the English language. The judicial system always attempts to correct and analyze itself. However, even in so doing, it is always subject to bias, preconceived notions and erroneous logic and decisions. Nevertheless the Torah emphasizes that judicial systems are mandatory for society to function. It is one of the basic seven laws of Noachide tradition. So, as in every other facet of life, the Torah bids us to do the best that we can but to be aware of our human limitations. Shabbat shalom.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

The Observant Jew

The Story of My Life By Rabbi Jonathan Gewirtz

uite often, when things go wrong, people will say, “It’s the story of my life,” as if to imply that their life is full of problems and travails. This isn’t really accurate for the vast majority of us. Unless you’re a leper living in a malaria-infested tent in Africa with no food or water, life is pretty good. Sure there are challenges, or else it wouldn’t be life. But the story of one’s life is so much more than that. When you read a story, there are certain details you know. You hear about the interaction of a main character with a minor one, and you focus on the protagonist’s point of view. The minor character simply disappears when you turn the page. However, if you realize that the minor character, or perhaps, “Cashier #3” if it were the credits to a play or movie, is actually a main character in their own life’s story, it opens up a world of possibilities; multiple worlds in fact. You see, for everything we see, there’s a lot more we don’t. Let’s take an example. Say you’re walking into

Costco and you see an older woman who is wearing a necklace with a large cross on it. You take note of the case of bottled water on the bottom of her cart and then of the distance between that and her trunk. So, of course, you go over and offer to place it in her trunk for her. She is grateful, says thank you, and that’s the end of the story, right? Wrong. That’s only the beginning of a new chapter you will never find out about. Because of your thoughtfulness, she now sees Jews in a new light. Perhaps someday she will help another Jew because of you, or say something positive about Hashem, or not believe every report in the news media of Jews being evil. You simply can’t know the whole story. Want another example? One evening I was in Target to do a return. While waiting in line I was preparing checks for deposit for my friend’s kollel. (As he’s in Israel, checks are sent to my home for local deposit.) I asked the frum woman in front of me if she had a calculator. She pulled out her phone and added up the

amounts as I read them off. She gave me the amount, and that was that. Except that it wasn’t. When I went to the bank, the teller’s amount was under by $10. I only knew because the woman had helped me out and we then found the missing check. While she thought the story was over, in truth she wrote a new chapter that gave her credit for the money going to the kollel and a share in the Torah that would be learned there. You can never know the full outcomes of your actions. How many people call Hatzalah to take them to doctor’s appointments and don’t consider whether that will mean an ambulance or volunteer is unavailable for a true emergency? Or whether the money spent on the gas, tolls, and maintenance of the vehicle could have bought Hatzalah some equipment they needed? These people only know they don’t want to spend money on a car service or to take off work to drive a family member. They don’t think of the rest of the story, the parts they can’t immediately see even though they

truly exist. Whatever actions we do have an impact, even if it’s giving someone a smile. Maybe it’s encouraging someone. When a dear

the real story of your life, the one with all the details, which fully delves into each character and event. Every single day, you are starting new chapters and

You can never know the full outcomes of your actions.

friend of his passed away, I encouraged a young man to help memorialize him by writing a weekly dvar Torah. He started and has been doing it for over a year. It’s amazing to realize that even when we die, our story is still being written! So when do we get to hear the whole story? Someday, when it is the Yom HaDin HaGadol v’HaNorah, the great and awesome Day of Judgment, when the story of our lives will be finalized and bound, when all actions, results, and consequences of those actions and results are tallied up, we’ll be amazed to find out “whatever happened to…?” That, my friends, is

adding more entries into the story of your life – make sure it’s a good one. Jonathan Gewirtz is an inspirational writer and speaker whose work has appeared in publications around the world. You can find him at www.facebook.com/RabbiGewirtz, and follow him on Instagram @ RabbiGewirtz or Twitter @ RabbiJGewirtz. He also operates JewishSpeechWriter. com, where you can order a custom-made speech for your next special occasion. Sign up for the Migdal Ohr, his weekly PDF Dvar Torah in English. E-mail info@JewishSpeechWriter.com and put Subscribe in the subject.

SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Between the Lines

It’s Not You – It’s Me By Eytan Kobre

The price of greatness is responsibility. -Winston Churchill

hospital patient once spilled a cup of water accidentally onto the floor beside his bed. Afraid of slipping, he called for it to be mopped up. Unbeknownst to the patient, hospital policy said that “small” spills were the responsibility of nurse’s aides, while “large” spills were within the jurisdiction of the hospital’s housekeeping unit. A nurse’s aide and a housekeeper were soon on scene, and an argument ensued. “It’s a large puddle and not my responsibility,” the nurse’s aide deflected. The housekeeper disagreed. “That spill is too small to be mine.” This back-and-forth went on for several minutes until the exasperated patient grabbed a pitcher of water from his night table and dumped it onto the floor. “Now, is that a big enough puddle?” In the striking case of a dead body found between two Jewish cities, the Torah conveys values that could not be more different. The discovery of the unidentified body resulted in an elaborate procedure. Local elders and judges from the Great Sanhedrin measured the distance from the corpse to nearby cities, declaring that the closest city was responsible. The elders from that city brought a calf that had never performed any

work or been saddled with a yoke to a specific valley, where the elders decapitated it, washed their hands over it, and proclaimed, “Our hands did not spill this blood, and our eyes did not see him,” and the local kohanim begged for forgiveness on behalf of the Jewish people (Devarim 21:1-8). Superficial understanding aside, the elders were assuming responsibility for the murder. “Would anyone think that the elders are murderers? Rather, [they were saying,] ‘We did not see him, and we allowed him to leave our city without provisions and without escort’” (Sota 45b). And, inasmuch as they failed to keep the peace, the kohanim too accepted some measure of blame and thus begged for forgiveness (Oznaim L’Torah, Devarim 21:5-8). Neither the elders nor the kohanim naturally would accept responsibility for a murder they did not commit: as in the hospital story, the elders could’ve blamed the kohanim, the kohanim could’ve blamed the elders, and both could credibly deflect to the true culprit: the murdered. But they didn’t. They each assumed responsibility. From time immemorial, mankind has sought to dodge responsibility for their failings. When Adam and Chava ate from the Tree of Knowledge, G-d punished them not simply because they disobeyed Him, but because they failed to accept responsibility for doing so. Adam tried to shift the responsibility to Cha-

va (Bereishis 3:12); Chava, in turn, attempted to deflect to the snake (Bereishis 3:13). And the apple didn’t not fall far from the tree (pun!). Confronted by G-d after murdering his brother Hevel, their son Kayin famously argued, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” In effect, Kayin was deflecting responsibility to G-d Himself, implying that it was G-d’s job to safeguard Hevel and G-d was responsible for his death (Tanchuma, Bereishis 9). But we are expected to fight the innate tendency to dodge responsibility. Indeed, the duty to assume responsibility not only for ourselves but also for each and every Jewish person sits at the core of our collective Jewish identity (Sanhedrin 27b). The reigns of Jewish leadership were handed over to the tribe of Yehuda specifically because of their penchant for assuming responsibility. Whether it was Yehuda saving Yosef from their other brothers, or owning up to the wrongs committed with his daughter-in-law Tamar, or his descendants taking that first leap of faith into the Red Sea (Tosefta, Berachos 4:16), time and again Yehuda and his descendants were the first (and sometimes the only) ones to accept responsibility. Because leadership and responsibility go handin-hand. Similarly, when the Jewish people’s calf offering (an atonement for the Golden Calf) was not accepted by G-d, it was another Jewish leader

– Aharon – who shouldered the responsibility (Rashi, Vayikra 9:23 and Da’as Torah ad loc.). I know that G-d is angry at me, he said, and it is on my account that the Divine Presence has not descended onto the Jewish people. Aharon had done everything in his power to stop and slow the Jewish people from sinning with the Golden Calf, yet here he was assuming responsibility for G-d’s rejection of the offering meant to atone for it. That’s accountability. That’s responsibility. That’s leadership. What a sharp contrast with what occurred on March 13, 1964, in Kew Gardens, New York, when Kitty Genovese was stabbed to death while at least 38 neighbors looked on and did nothing during the 90-minute ordeal. The shocking event prompted psychologists John M. Darly and Bibb Latane to study the conditions under which people assume responsibility for helping others in an emergency. In their experiment, when one bystander was present, 85 percent offered help; when two were present, 62 percent offered help; when five were present, only 31 percent offered help. Responsibility is diffused, they concluded – the more people to whom it can be shifted, the less likely we are to assume it. And that explains what happened at a small shtetl comprised of two shuls – one wealthy, the other not. Each Simchas Torah, the wealthy shul enjoyed free-flowing wine, while its poorer counterpart could

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

afford nothing but water. Envious of their wealthier counterparts, the members of the poor shul determined that they too should drink wine next Simchas Torah. So they devised a plan. Each family would save one drop of wine from

edly around the large wooden barrel. Finally, they would enjoy wine like the wealthy shul! The shamash opened its spigot and out streamed… Water! Not a drop of wine was mixed in.

That is the classic case of four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.

havdala every week, which they would bring to a large barrel outside the shul. After a full year of saving drips and drabs, surely there would be ample wine for a joyous Simchas Torah. After a year passed and Simchas Torah came ‘round again, the members of the poor shul gathered excit-

Apparently, even over the course of an entire year, none of the congregants had saved wine and brought it to the barrel. None of them had taken responsibility for the plan or for their fellow congregants, instead leaving others to bring wine while they merely “diluted” it with water. That is the classic case of four

people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done. Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it. Nobody did it. Everybody thought Anybody could do it and Somebody would do it. Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it. And Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have. *

The Buck Stops Here. That maxim was emblazoned on a sign that sat atop President Truman’s Oval Office desk, a reminder that the president has to make decisions and, more to the point, accept responsibility for them. Our hyper-litigious, over-therapized society teaches us to pass the buck at every opportunity to anyone and anything but ourselves. It is always his fault or her fault – not ours.

And when it comes to our children’s shortcomings, we blame their friends or their teachers or their schools or their camps or any number of other scapegoats because holding them responsible is, in effect, holding ourselves responsible – and how we loathe doing that. But the case of the unknown dead body conveys an altogether different message. There is something noble about assuming responsibility, even when it isn’t necessarily our fault or even if we might credibly deflect it to someone or something else. So the next time the opportunity presents itself, don’t pass the buck. Stop the buck. Be accountable. Accept responsibility. After all, as Churchill observed, that is the true price of greatness.

Eytan Kobre is a writer, speaker, mediator, and attorney living in Kew Gardens Hills. Questions? Comments? Suggestions? E-mail eakobre@outlook.com.

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SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

A Life Vest of Love and Understanding Orly Wahba Brightens the World one Kindness at a Time by Chana-Rochel (Andrea) Eller Speaking at TED 2013

ORLY

Wahba was four when she knew that one day she would do something important. Something big. Something good. But at four she couldn’t have imagined she’d be running a world-wide organization with her own methodology dedicated to changing the world for the better. It couldn’t have entered her four-year-old mind that years later, in a hundred cities in fifty countries, thousands and thousands would be dancing and singing in concert for her “something important, big, and good.” She couldn’t have guessed that her means would be Life Vest Inside, an organization she would found on four principles: 1) Every person in this world has tremendous worth; 2) Every person can affect change with good deeds that can ripple through the world; 3) Every person matters and is needed; 4) Kindness is the key. When Orly Wahba of Brooklyn, New York, had yet to see her fifth birthday, she would feel exquisite pain when people hurt others’ feelings, said mean things, argued or fought. She would talk about “changing the world.” Those close to her good-naturedly called her The Dreamer. Nonetheless, the embers were not tamped out. Orly was born to an Egyptian Jewish Sephardi mother and an Israeli father. The Wahbas (Orly has

two older brothers and two younger sisters) lived a shomer Shabbos, shomer kashrus life. “Hashem knows best. Everything has a reason,” was the mantra of Mr. and Mrs. Wahba, giving all their children a strong Jewish foundation and faith. When it hurt young Orly to see people mistreating one another, her father would tuck her into bed and tell her to “talk to Hashem.” Orly was exceptionally shy in school, speaking only on demand. She was thoughtful of others. When students were home sick, she would copy her class notes and later give them to the absentees. In Orly’s fifteenth year a fire left only the frame of the Wahba home standing. When she saw her parents cry she refused to add to their burden, so she put on a good, optimistic, light-hearted front. It worked. It worked very well. But one morning it didn’t work at all. She couldn’t get up. For the next two months a terrible depression locked her in a veiled state of sleep. During those two months away from school, no student called or visited. Her will to live wavered. If she were to disappear, would anyone care? Forced to return to school, Orly garbed herself in black and sat alone in classroom corners writing dark poetry. A day came when the high school girl glimpsed herself in a mirror and

did a double take. A lifeless stranger stared back – gaunt, beaten down, and hopeless – a face reflecting indifference to a life she felt didn’t matter. Her dreams were gone. It frightened her. She had to think. Soon after, she made a decision that harkened back to her dream as a young child. She would do something important. But now it was clear as to what: she’d be there for people like herself – lonely, depressed, angry and hurting – the way she wished people had been for her. One of the most timid in school, Orly attended a high school seminar about overcoming obstacles. The moderator asked for a volunteer to address the subject. For the first time in her school life she raised her hand to speak. Orly spoke from a heart that had been nearly shattered. Everyone listened as she spoke about struggle and shared her conclusions. Students began coming to a surprised Orly for advice. It moved her. She found that the more she gave, the more she healed – and the more she loved people… Her dreams returned and further coalesced with a specific goal: “To show people that they matter.” Subsequently Orly was asked to speak at assemblies and school functions. While earning her bachelor’s degrees in film production and English from Brooklyn College, and later her Master’s Degree in Jewish

history from Touro College, she continued to address audiences. After college Orly taught middle school students at a yeshiva. She says that those years spent bonding with her students were among the best of her life. She put original techniques to work, fostering unity in her classrooms and helping to build her students’ confidence at that sticky age when feelings of self-worth bounce hither and yon, but most often attach to the ground. On impulse, Orly made up a slew of what she called acts-ofkindness cards, each with a specific suggestion for a small, kind deed one could do for another. And each card ended with, Please pass this on. Keep the kindness going! “My students’ view of their worth blossomed as they carried out the suggestions and began to find, on their own, little things they could do – for instance, smiling at someone seen as wallpaper every day; helping the student who had dropped her books; carrying a heavy load for a senior; leaving a bottle of water in reach of a homeless person.” Orly says, “What they found to do for others opened their eyes to the beauty of the world, the beauty in others, and more important, the beauty in themselves. It excited them. Their images of themselves transformed. This was power. It was empowering to know that they mat-

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

tered – that who they were and what they did mattered.” And to them it was “the coolest thing ever.” And then came a turning point.

“I

was with my family on the way home from a vacation when I heard about the death of a six-yearold in our community. I had no idea what I would tell my students about coming to terms with this tragedy in the wake of their earlier loss of a classmate. “I boarded the plane disoriented, sat in the wrong seat, and spotted a sign on the wall that said, ‘Life vest inside’ – that jacket you put on if, G-d forbid, you’re about to make an unscheduled water landing. I began thinking about life vests – how, when pushing down on an inflated vest it pops back up. I thought, How do we pop back up from events thrown at us and that seem to make no sense?” Orly concluded that we come equipped with metaphorical life vests. “It’s the neshama, the soul, crafted and given to us by Hashem. It’s part, k’ave yochal, of Hashem himself. It’s chessed. Kindness. If sorrow or a stumbling block is pulling someone under, we can throw him or her a life vest of kindness, the way someone would for us. We keep each other afloat with kindness. “I also realized that the original “life vest” is the Torah. When you question or doubt or worry, open the Torah and you’ll find your answer. I told my class, when we learn Torah, Hashem is speaking to us.” Orly began a class project, calling it Life Vest Inside. After discussing a point in Chumash or Navi, she’d assign her students an entry in their personal journals about what Hashem might be telling them through this pasuk or that Rashi. They were to comment on a possible connection to their lives. The bonds between her and her students strengthened. After seven years, Orly’s father encouraged her to leave her job. “My father said that maybe a shift would be good for me. It was tough. No matter what I do, I give my whole self to it; I was always there with the kids, always doing things with them after school…” Orly took a sabbatical, but used her time in a way her family didn’t expect. In her desire to reach the

goal she’d held since she was able to think – to “change the world” – she used a substantial part of her savings to make a six-minute film she called “Kindness Boomerang.” The film follows the spread of kindness that can begin with one small, sweet deed – say, refilling the parking meter while the car owner is fishing frantically in his pocket for change. The eyes of the surprised fellow are opened; he spots the opportunity to do a good turn and runs after a woman to hand her something she’s unknowingly dropped … and so on. There was nothing to indicate that “Kindness Boomerang” would

And I only hope one day you will see yourself through my eyes.’ That boy is now in college, mentoring troubled youth. He told me, ‘You bet on me when no one else did.’” The act of kindness she did is carried on. Orly said to her TED audience, “It’s an inspiring story, but I wanted to know how to sustain it. How do we take inspiration, turn it into action, and back into inspiration again?” She added, “There is good in everyone; it’s just not easy for people to find it in themselves. I want to help. I believe that the feeling of worthlessness is the reason for the extent of hatred and animosity in the world, and not that people are inherently unkind.

She found that the more she gave, the more she healed – and the more she loved people.

take off the way it did. Thus far the film has garnered over 24 million views. It is seen world over and has fired up others to make similar films of their own using Orly’s title. People are hungry for goodness. Orly’s film attracted the organization TED: Technology, Entertainment and Design. She won nine minutes on air to speak about her dream. Her speech was singularly inspiring, earnest and honest. Nothing slick about it. No gang-busting, rah-rah motivational speaker here. There is only Orly’s sincerity, heart, and radiance as she speaks about the power of kindness. She related a number of stories illustrating her point. One anecdote, particularly moving, was of a student – a boy – whom everyone had labeled a bully early on. “And that’s what he became,” says Orly. He had instigated something that the school administrators considered the last straw. They asked him to leave the school, permanently. But Orly stood up for him. Staunchly. The administration allowed the boy to stay in school. “That day,” Orly recounted, “he came over to me, on the verge of tears, saying, ‘I don’t understand! Why do you care? I’m so mean to you.’ I said, ‘It’s because I think the world of you.

It’s that people don’t recognize their significance nor their place in the world. Insignificance? No place in the world? This is fuel for sinas chinam in the world – baseless hatred.” She brought the TED audience to their feet in applause. I fell in love with Orly’s manner, sincere, confident, then truly taken aback – she touches her throat to catch her breath – by the enthusiastic response. I wanted to know to whom she addresses her message. “Everyone. We are all created in the image of G-d, so every one of us matters,” she stresses the word. “Every one of us has a purpose and is a piece of the Grand Puzzle. Our job is to recognize our own place in that Puzzle, and to help others recognize theirs.” This bright, young, charismatic, Jewish Orthodox woman, Orly Wahba, has spent the last five years helping people see their worth in the way she helped her middle school children. By means of the non-profit organization Life Vest Inside which she founded with her own savings, she proves that in performing kind deeds the player’s feeling of worth expands dramatically, the recipient is surprised and gratified, and oftentimes that recipient is inspired to do

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a sweet, unexpected good deed for someone else.

LIFE VEST INSIDE – “LVI” “Dance for Kindness” is Life Vest Inside’s signature yearly event. Last year, twelve-thousand professional and non-professional dancers gathered in the streets and market places of a hundred cities in fifty countries, danced the same choreographed dance to the same music on the same day, while thousands watched. Millions read about the event or saw it online – more than 30 million on YouTube’s various uploads. Each year, musicians vie for the honor of having written the song selected to set the dancers dancing and to be heard in all those cities in all those countries. The latest winner was Yaakov Feldstein, a yeshiva student at Yeshiva University in New York City, who gained instant renown with his infectious “More Light.” As usual, the hub of the event was in New York City. The Theater District was clogged with the performers, with Yaakov Feldstein in person, with his sound-system and video crews (Yaakov is worthy of his own interview) – and an enormous pedestrian audience. The number of participating countries, cities and flash-mobbers has grown every year. Videos of Dance For Kindness feature dancers from America, Malaysia, Australia, Chili, Israel, India, Russia, Estonia, Ireland, Nigeria, Sri Lanka, Norway, Vietnam, Ukraine, Singapore … well, you get the picture. Most of the events are online. The warp and woof of these fifty countries with dissimilar cultures, languages, backgrounds, and religions is “Kindness is What Holds Us Together” and “You Matter.” This fabric is the raison d’etre of Orly Wahba, supporter of all people. But LVI is more than flash-mobs, slogans and publicity. This is a worldwide organization conceived to prevent bullying, depression, drug abuse, and even crime, by getting into the trenches and doing. There is a fundamental difference between LVI and other preventative programs. Orly explains that while other programs focus on, say, anti-bullying or anti-drug campaigns – which one could describe as “don’t do” approaches – Life Vest Inside focuses on the individual’s relationship

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SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Dancing the Czech Republic

with him or herself. No one is told what or what not to do, nor is there any preaching. Ever. As it says on its website, LVI equips people with tools “to recognize their own potential for greatness” and become “catalysts for [good] in the world.” The philosophy is that once knowledge of a person’s worth is firmly established, he or she can less tenuously separate from behavior unbefitting a worthy person. It works. LVI’s site on Facebook is a potpourri of videos; suggestions for un-bidden “kindnesses” that someone else either needs or that would put a smile on his or her face; invitations to entertaining events (e.g., the Dance For Kindness); researched science; and challenges. The most successful appeal is in the form of small, but priceless cards that suggest simple altruistic gestures that another person would appreciate – especially since the gestures are given freely. The purpose of the cards is to habituate people to carrying out good deeds, however small, and to trigger the habit in those whom the deeds touch. Acting on the suggestions can prove to the individual that he or she matters in affecting the world. LVI has been the prototype for a good number of other organizations with the same goal – Random Acts of Kindness, Spread Kindness.org; The Kindness Revolution… Orly is thrilled about it. On LVI’s website is a short animated video called, “The Science of Kindness,” the science based on the research of experts: Emily Ansell of the Yale University School of Medicine; world-wide known psychologist Abraham Maslow; Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D., professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside; Researcher Stephen Post of Case Western University School of Medicine; and David R. Hamilton, Ph.D., expert on oxytocin. Oxytocin is a hormone that plays a role in social bond-

Dancing for Kindness in Singapore

ing as well as the healing of wounds. All agree that the performance of kind deeds can help heal an emotionally and even physically beset life. Orly’s favorite enterprise is “Project Hope and Exchange.” This is a trove of thirty-second messages on the LVI website – recordings of those who have suffered, then overcome, adversity. Anyone struggling with sickness, emotional trauma, or other difficulty can select a category that best describes his physical or emotional trouble, and listen to a message recorded by someone who’s been there. The listener gets a shot of hope.

Orly Wahba’s mission sounds like a 1960s hippy fantasy, it doesn’t take a long discussion with

that kindness will be taught in classrooms – classrooms having been in sharp decline in the realms of courtesy, caring, respect, and safety since the 1960s … what a feat! Orly hopes that middle school and high school curricula will incorporate versions of the program. To be fair, the nay-say professor says giving money to charitable institutions is more effective than random kind deeds. Of course we must give. But the fundamental one-on-one human interaction of LVI cannot be overestimated. It’s apparent that LVI is arousing something in enough of us to the extent that its founder has been featured on The Today Show, NBC, CBS, Bloomberg Television, and

Forbes. Not that celebrity is proof

“It takes a thousand positive words to overcome the hurt of one negative word.” her to fathom that the woman is a determined powerhouse putting her beliefs into action. Some do say that the whole thing is naïve. This writer saw an article written by a Ph.D. for a well-known magazine. The premise of the article is that performing random acts of kindness is pointless and immature, and that the concept should be tossed overboard for things more important. Sorry, Doc. Too much evidence to the contrary. LVI’s education programs are now aligned with Common Core State Standards (CCSS) and are included in state education for K-5 in cities of Missoula, Montana; Boulder, Colorado; Miami, Florida; Santa Fe, New Mexico; Austin, Texas; New Orleans, Louisiana; in Washington D.C; New York City; Chicago and Illinois. To think

of much, but this is a celebration of small, unsolicited favors.

ORLY With all the noise it has created, one wouldn’t suspect that LVI runs solely on limited donations of supporters ready to improve an unhappy, fractious, fragmented world. In fact, it’s a tremendous struggle for Orly to pay bills. She has the help of the occasional intern, but she does what I assume is just about all of the work. Tough stuff. On the other hand, what this one woman has accomplished would stagger a Goliath. Yet I have to ask the obvious. Where does Orly find the goodness and worth in people whose mission is to slay school children and Jews in fulfilling their religious require-

ments? I add that some religions say, ‘Love your enemy.’ Is that an LVI premise? Loving someone who wants to kill you is not a normal human reaction. One endeavors to protect himself or to eliminate the enemy. Orly is quiet. Then she says, “The Torah says, V’ahavta l’rei’echa kamocha – Love your neighbor as yourself. I think the most difficult word is kamocha – not the V’ahavta l’rei’echa. The hard part is loving one’s self. It’s not about loving your enemy. That’s not going to work. The loving of one’s self makes it easier to live the good of what we say. That’s the best way to impact someone. There’s a chance our neighbors will be influenced to do the same. By the way, there’s no preaching here. If you tell someone what to do, you won’t make headway.” In other words, don’t talk the talk. Walk the walk. Orly continues. “Listen. People reach out to me from all over the world – all religions, backgrounds, races … with respect. And they know I’m an Orthodox Jew. I think it’s because on this platform no one is judged. We have a large Muslim following. One Muslim man emailed me with an angry message. But I know that if someone is taking the time to reach out, he’s searching for something. So we conversed via email, and I always responded kindly. At one point I said, ‘I’d like to have a conversation with you via Skype.’ He said, ‘No, no, I don’t deserve to have a Skype call with you. You do such good in the world and I’m not a good person.’ I said, ‘What’s that? You may have done bad things, but when you think that those actions are you, you’ll continue them. You have to lift yourself from that pit.’ “We spoke more, and he broke down. He said, ‘My people would call me a traitor for speaking to you, but you make me believe I can be better than I am. You make me believe that

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Dancing in Stockholm, Sweden

what you are saying is actually possible. I don’t know how to tell you how this has changed me. Seeing people differently. Seeing Jews differently.’ He said, ‘Please, whatever you are doing, don’t stop.’” It’s a poignant story. Then I tell Orly I live in Israel in a Jewish community surrounded by hills just over a half mile away, packed with people want to rid the world of us and are doing their best via this third intifada. How can I find the beauty and good in murderers who relish the kill and their own deaths, and are then canonized by their people? Furthermore, it’s clear that Islamists in and surrounding Israel view our concessions as weaknesses. Within two weeks of our turning the Gaza over to the Palestinians they were firing rockets onto Jewish civilians. She admits, “It’s a question my family asks. I’ve experienced anti-Semitism. I’ve been to Israel a number of times. But have I experienced what Israelis are going through? No. The hard thing is when you have the right to hate. It’s so hard when you’re confronted with reason after reason. We just have to keep on going….” I press. I want to know if there is a line Orly draws. “Granted that LVI is structured beautifully and gets results, but do you think that your modus operandi can break through to a person who worships evil?” She says, “Listen. ISIS and Hamas know that despite all the social media and connections made on Facebook, people are more isolated and vulnerable than ever before. ISIS utilizes social media very well. I read in Time Magazine that an ISIS member will spend 100 hours turning someone over to the ISIS way of thinking. ISIS hones in on people low on their feet, feeling worthless and disconnected, looking for something to believe in. ISIS befriends them, talks to them.

They give lonely people a sense of purpose, and the feeling that they are connected. They stranglehold the existential need of every human being to feel he has purpose – that there’s something to live for. Then they take personal freedom away. Can we break through? I don’t know. But we keep trying.” A bitter perversion of LVI. I ask Orly if she finds herself a magnet for misanthropes and scoffers. “Unfortunately, yes. I’ve dealt with a lot of it. People send cruel emails. Emails that attack me. I answer every single email I get. People don’t realize that there’s a person behind the screen who reads what they’ve written. It takes a thousand positive

Acts of kindness in Kadapa, India

‘This person must be going through tremendous pain. I know who I am. Hashem knows who I am. This person doesn’t know anything about me.’ “Only when I’m ready do I write a response. Sometimes I’ll even call and have a conversation. It’s never to attack – because the reaction to an attack is defense. I allow the person to feel what he feels. I don’t say, ‘How could you think that of me? I’m not like that at all,’ because whatever he feels has little to do with me. So I validate the person’s feelings by listening. Then I say, ‘I’m just going to give you another perspective.’ At the end of the conversation I say, ‘Regardless of what you think or said, I’m here. No matter what you say, you’re not going to push me away. If you need any-

“It was empowering to know that they mattered – that who they were and what they did mattered.” words to overcome the hurt of one negative word. They create wounds that are very hard to heal.” “So what do you do?” “Nothing. The first thing I do is nothing. I don’t respond. When someone writes something ugly, of course I get upset and angry. I’m not thinking clearly. Anger is avoda zora – akin to idol worship – and in that state I may blast off an email saying something I don’t really mean or want to say. I cannot answer without thinking it through.” She queries, “How could I say I believe in what I’m doing if I can’t do it myself? If an email is charged with anger and hatred, it means whoever has sent it must be wounded. The person has said something untrue that comes from something inside of him. I say to myself,

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thing, just know I’m here.’ “I gotta tell you. I don’t think it’s ever, ever failed. Some can’t believe I respond to them the way I do. Inevitably they email back and say, ‘I’m so sorry.’ The shields come down. They shift completely. “But being kind doesn’t mean being a doormat. You have to hold firm to who you are. I’ve said, ‘Look, I understand you’re feeling this way. I hope one day you’ll see things through my eyes.’ And those words can cause a complete reversal. Over the last five years so many people have broken down, opening up to me about things going on in their lives. Sometimes we become friends.”

ask Orly about her 6,000 “Kindness Ambassadors.”

“These are potential leaders who can create kindness initiatives in their own countries. They’ve been stirred by LVI. One note posted said, ‘You have opened my eyes to my value.’ This is exactly what I mean when I speak about empowering people. Making them see that they matter in this world. Another note said, ‘I love being a part of this global community. I’m sending my love from the heart of Iraq.’ And a Jew wrote back, ‘I’m so touched by these conversations. I send this from the heart of Israel.’ One of Orly’s favorite correspondences is a handwritten letter from “Erik K.” in Denmark. His recent past includes crime, drugs, violence, fear – a life empty of support or love. Erik thanks her for teaching him “to be kind and loveful [sic]… forgiving ... and to find inner peace.” He now has a job and volunteers at a home for homeless kids. He continues with, “This may not seem like a big deal to you, but you saved a life … open[ing] the door to a better future for a human being… What I learned from you, I’m giving to others. You may not have changed the world, but you changed my world.” Orly says, “A letter like this keeps me going.” “Things like this don’t usually happen in the first contact, but it eventually happens. So of this I am sure: Love is stronger than hate. The prototype is in the Torah. Moshe Rabbeinu was denied entrance into Eretz Yisroel because he hit the rock. Some commentaries say that Hashem had wanted to show B’nei Yisroel that His love for them was so great that He would alter unalterable nature, and draw good water from stone for them to drink. Their response would have been ahavas Hashem – love for Hashem and closeness to Him. When Moshe hit the rock, it was as if he were berating and striking B’nei Yisroel. Hashem said, “You could have

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Kindness goes ‘round, a still from the Kindness Boomerang film

sanctified My Name. You didn’t.” I ask Orly how Jews respond to her work. “Some are fine with it, searching along the rest of us. But others often ask, ‘Don’t you think working so closely with people of other religions is going to affect your own beliefs?’ I say, ‘No. I went through my lech l’cha and found Hashem. I’m so firm in what I know to be true, that I don’t feel any need to influence those who believe differently. I can be accepting of a person of a different religion or a different stripe of Yiddishkeit. It doesn’t make a difference. We’re people, and I love people. It was clear early on that LVI had to be inclusive. The hope is that it will all come back to the Jewish community. Sometimes you have to go out to come back in.” I’m in awe of this true-to-life, on-the-ground Don Quixote minus windmills. But I do break in with something she knows: we’re told that our main job as Jews is to live good Torah lives as examples for others. She comes back with: “To live it, but not to judge someone who does not live exactly like we do. We don’t need to do G-d’s job. G-d doesn’t need help judging. Let Him do it. We’re here to love.” She continues. “The Jewish People is in galus – in exile. Our first galus was 70 years long; it was caused by avoda zora – we worshipped other ‘gods’ and we lost the first Beis HaMikdash. We lost the Second Beis HaMikdash over 2,000 years ago. Why has this galus been so long? It’s because we didn’t love one another then and still don’t. For two thousand years we haven’t been respectful of one another. We haven’t had ahava, love, for one another. G-d is hurt more when His children mistreat each another than if we fight against Him. LVI accepts all on whatever levels they’re on. They will come to Hashem on their own.”

Orly gives me a beautiful insight. “‘Elokei Avraham, Elokei Yitzchak, Elokei Ya’akov.’ Why doesn’t the Sh’moneh Esrei say, simply, ‘Elokei Avraham, Yitzchak, v’Ya’akov’? Why is the name of Hashem said three times? It’s because Yitzchak loved G-d not only because Avraham did, and Ya’akov’s love for G-d was not only because Yitzchak, his father, did. Each related to and loved G-d in his own deep, profound way. Avraham lived his love for G-d with chessed, so that, yes, in times of difficulties Yitzchak would be influenced by his upbringing. But Yitzchak would find his own love for G-d as would Yaakov. When a person comes to the love of G-d, it can’t be taken away. And anyway, you can’t tell someone what to believe. Orders don’t work. All you can do is live your love of G-d, and others will find it on their own, perhaps being inspired by you.” From where does Orly draw her unstoppable drive? “I’ve never said this aloud. I believe with my whole heart that we are in the time of Moshiach. I want to help bring him. In Yeshayahu (2:4) it says Moshiach will not be coming with a sword or aggression. His arrival will be with words of love and kindness. I myself have seen that by connecting to people with kindness they can come to embody and live it.” Even on the phone, I can feel Orly wax passionate as she reveals private thoughts. “I want sinas chinam to end – the hate for no reason. It has so much to do with what a person thinks of him or herself. I believe LVI has the ability to really help. “Each morning upon rising, Jews thank Hashem for returning their neshamas – their souls. ‘Modeh Ani … I thank You.’ We can connect to the ‘I thank You.’ But we tend not to think about the words that follow, ‘Your

faith in me is boundless.’ Shouldn’t we be saying, ‘Our faith in You is boundless’? No. It means that every morning when we wake up, Hashem is betting on us – or rather you – who you are, and your individual purpose in this world. Whatever it is, that’s your job. He’s betting that today that you’re going to do something – even a little thing – to realize your inherent greatness. Only you can do it. No one can take your place. So when we feel depressed or not worth much, we have to remember every morning that The Master of the World is betting on us. We are meant to be here.” What she has said is true and wonderful. But I say, “We both know that the Torah says Eisav hates Yaakov – the non-Jew hates the Jew.” Orly responds. “Many people ask me about that. They say, ‘It’s Torah. That’s the way it is.’ So I respond with another pasuk. “It appears that when Yitzchak is giving his brocha to Yaakov instead of Eisav, Yitzchak is giving Yaakov a little secret. Yitzchak says, ‘You sound like Yaakov, but you have the hands of Eisav.’ Some say that Yitzchak means that the power of B’nei Yisroel is in its kol – its voice. Its words. Its tefilla. Eisav’s power is in his hands. His sword. The secret is that if we use the voice properly we can take Eisav’s sword from his hand. The right words can lead to good actions.” I wish I had Orly’s optimism. Jew hatred has not been as great as it is today since the 1940s. Orly says, “I’m called naïve for that reason. But the people reaching out to us come from every background, religion – including Islam. I tell you the level of tolerance is wild. I see how many have changed their vision.” I ask a personal question. “When you started this journey how did your family react?” “My family is supportive but they

do have a hard time with the amount of work I put into LVI. I work constantly. It’s not because they don’t think it’s valuable, but because they worry for me. I haven’t had a paying livelihood in almost five years. I haven’t taken one dollar. And I’ve invested all my savings – $150,000 – in Life Vest Inside. I’m not able to do certain things that I want or need to do. “I live with my parents. I’m not a big materialist. I make do with what I have. I won’t say it’s a breeze. In fact it’s becoming harder. There are days and times when I question myself and I’ll cry. I don’t understand. I’m trying everything I can. Then again, if it were easy, someone else would have done it by now. I feel it’s what Hashem wants me to do in my life. He sustains me with the messages people send telling me how LVI has impacted their lives and changed their perception. That’s my sustenance. My fuel. “There are times when only a miracle can help me. A few months ago I had maybe $400 left in the organization’s bank account. I couldn’t pay expenses for what was then a four-person staff, or for the projects themselves… I said, ‘Hashem. I give up. I don’t know what to do. How am I to pay my debts? I give up.’ “Later that day, I looked at the LVI bank account. A sponsor, the first sponsor ever, had come on board. He’d already sent the money to the bank. I was able to breathe. I go through these things all the time.” I ask her about her vision to marry and start a family. “I have faith that Hashem does everything for a reason, and everything is in its time. And I’ve always known that to bring people together is what I was meant to do. I’m meant to shake the world with ahava.” And so she does. Orly Wahba with her Life Vest Inside shakes the world with ahava – a metaphorical hug of love.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

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SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Israel Today

Blueberry Heaven By Rafi Sackville

eren had researched her topic well. Moshav Odem on the Golan Heights, she said, and pointed to the map on the screen. Despite it being early in the season she had been assured that there were blueberries ripe for picking. She added that were we to leave early enough, we’d be back home before lunchtime. I set Waze and off we headed into the blinding early summer sunlight. It would be hot later in the day, but at 7 a.m. we drove with the windows open and the comfort of a brisk, early morning breeze. We passed Horfesh and Sasa before turning north to the Upper Galil. Soon we were making our descent to the Hula Valley. The view of the Hula Valley as you drive down towards Kiryat Shemona is breathtaking. The patchwork of fields are awash in verdant greens and rich browns. From afar one can make out Kfar Blum because of the abundance of vegetation that hugs the river and streams that run through it. The kfar is famous for its rafting, but we would leave that for another day. We drove through the valley and a few miles past Kfar Blum began the ascent towards the Golan Heights. From the eastern side looking west the valley is more expressive; the palette of colors is richer and more distinct when the sun isn’t in

one’s eyes. This valley was constantly at threat before the Six Day War. Prior to 1967 the Syrians would take pot-shots at will. It’s hard to imagine how only a few miles from the peaceful settlements of the Heights the civil war is still raging in Syria. I don’t consider fruit picking exciting. It is not an activity I would naturally jump at the chance to do: I’m more of a stay at home type of guy. On the other hand Keren sees blueberry picking as a wonderfully simple exercise in simplicity; a rare treat that would bring fruit into our home without leaving any carbon footprints. Having lived in New York for 13 years, we were never more than a short car drive away from purchasing the choicest of fruits. For example, the pineapples at Costco that we bought for a few dollars cannot be found here in Israel. At best you can purchase miniature pineapples that run almost $8 a kilo. The downside to the variety of fruits available in New York is the huge carbon footprint they leave. You’d be surprised at the distances the fruits you buy travel before you get to the supermarket checkout. The Golan is awash in volcanic rock that peppers the hills like errant objects of all shapes and sizes. The contrast between the pale hills of basalt strewn rock to the established commu-

nities there is a reminder of Israeli ingenuity; Moshav Odem is like a fairytale forest of fruit trees and bushes, thick enough to hide any view of the border just across the way. We were given an overview of the Moshav, the fruits available, and received a number of punnets. Raspberries? Blackberries? No and no. Keren was specific. She only wanted blueberries. We paid our entrance fee, were told we could eat as much fruit as we liked while we were out in the fields, and that the price per pound was almost $10. It was the beginning of the season and the fruit wasn’t as prolific as it is in late July and August. We were advised to walk around the edge of the edge of the picking area until we came to the end of the blueberry patch; that way we’d be keeping the blinding sun at our backs as we worked our way back to the entrance. There were over one hundred bushes. The photo above is indicative of what we were facing: for every 10 berries only 2 were that telltale indigo color ready to eat. The rest were in various stages of maturation and were colored immature green, green-pink, and bluepink. The blueberry is a delicate fruit. One doesn’t pick as much as encourage the berries off their branches. The harvesting method most

used is to machine-shake the bush which causes the berries to dislodge. Although they have been grown for over a hundred years around the Black Sea region of Turkey, blueberries aren’t as popular in Israel, which is likely the reason they are not commonly found on supermarket shelves. We bent over or got on our knees to get at the fruit. One by one the punnets slowly filled. I worked the left row, Keren the right. Once we got to the end we made another sweep until all the punnets were full. We returned to the entrance where we paid for our pickings. We were met by a young girl who weighed our punnets. She was soon joined by the young man who had welcomed us earlier. He looked at our picking and laughed. “I’ve just been up and down the patch. You’ve taken almost all the available fruit. I hope we don’t have any disappointed customers later today. Your timing was fruitful,” he said. “Are we meant to feel guilty?” I asked him.

“Not at all,” he said apologetically. “I see that you have enjoyed yourselves.” He was right. There is something both soothing and therapeutic about picking fruit and eating it, especially when it isn’t sprayed with chemicals. I felt a greater appreciation not only for the fruits of our labor, but for the type of worldly wonders we often take for granted. We had brought a cooler into which we placed the blueberries. It was almost 10 a.m. and very hot. We drove off with the air conditioning drowning out the quiet that had accompanied us thus far. We arrived as the sun was reaching its zenith. We bagged most of the fruit. It wasn’t long before the house was filled with the smell of baking. By midafternoon we were sitting down to iced coffee and blueberry muffins. They couldn’t have tasted better.

Rafi Sackville, formerly of Cedarhurst, teaches in Ort Maalot in Western Galil.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

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Dating Dialogue

What Would You Do If… Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW of The Navidaters

Dear Navidaters,

In reading the column on vulnerability, I have the following question for you: I feel that in one sense, our vulnerability tolerance is misguided. When someone is suggested to another person as a shidduch, it is acceptable to tell the other side simply “it’s not shayach” and move on if for whatever reason that party doesn’t want to pursue a relationship. When I have my information presented to a young lady, I open myself up to her evaluation as a potential husband. The same goes for when I see the young lady’s information. By hastily rejecting me or withholding what they know, I don’t feel like I’m able to be vulnerable. I understand that letting singles share their opinions can definitely get ugly and lead to lashon hara or motzi shem ra about either party. I also hate being the bad guy who unjustifiably turns down a young woman. I haven’t always been given a good reason why I shouldn’t go out with someone. B’shaah tovah, all the secrets and opinions different people have about me (or any single) aren’t going to matter when we find our basherts. Still, on an honor system, shouldn’t I be entitled to hear what people think about me? Can’t I get some help figuring out what I am doing right, what I may need to change, or where else I may want to seek a potential bride from? I’m just looking for some honest feedback. I have no intention of either publically or privately badmouthing anyone over their opinions even if I know I am being legitimately wronged (which I have been). I just want to know what people think about me and what I either need to work on or if I should be looking to meet different kinds of women. What are your thoughts on how singles can receive feedback from their prospective suitors in a respectful manner?

The feedback from our readers has been remarkable. In order to facilitate further discussion, you can now continue the conversation anonymously on our website. Every Sunday, we will upload the weekend’s most recent edition of What Would You Do If to the dating forum at thenavidaters.com. Join The Navidaters and your fellow TJH readers in a comprehensive dialogue with regard to dating, relationships and marriage. The forum will be moderated daily for everyone’s comfort and safety. See you there! Disclaimer: This column is not intended to diagnose or otherwise offer resolutions to any questions. Our intention is not to offer any definitive conclusions to any particular question, but to offer areas of exploration for the author and reader. Due to the nature of the column receiving only a short snapshot of an issue, without the benefit of an actual discussion, the panel’s role is to offer a range of possibilities. We hope to open up meaningful dialogue and individual exploration.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

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The Panel The Rebbetzin Rebbetzin Faigie Horowitz, M.S. hank you for your honesty and question that demonstrates that you have really processed what has been said in this column. You are also thinking about both sides of the coin with regard to this topic. Let us remember, first, that vulnerability in dating and shidduchim goes along with growth. You cannot open yourself up to vulnerability if you don’t recognize that this is a maturation process (as well as a process of finding a suitable mate for life) through which you grow in self-knowledge, awareness, and relationship skills. It seems to me that you are sincere about wanting to hear what the other person found or didn’t find in you. You are focused on tachlis. Keep in mind that it takes two growth-oriented mature individuals to share openly about themselves and to be vulnerable. I agree with you that getting feedback after dating is a legitimate concern. I relate to it very directly. It is very annoying to me when I suggest a shidduch, field several phone calls back and forth, and invest energy in trying to get two individuals to meet only to be told “it’s not for me” without explanation. It does not acknowledge the effort involved and it disincentives me from suggesting other possible fix-ups. While I have found that telling the individual or parent something like this: it is important for me to understand your needs, wants, likes and history of what works in order for me to set you up again with more accuracy – it does not always work. Some people are just so invested in protecting themselves or their children that they just repeat the point again and again like a broken record but with different words. So, I agree on the general point but there are circumstances to be taken into account. When giving a response to a suggestion, I don’t think a person needs to give a very specific reason why it’s not a fit. I generally feel that a person should give the other at least two dates before saying no. Requesting feedback after two dates is a legitimate expectation. How-

ever, given our current culture, you may not get the reaction you want directly. The shadchan or person who arranged the fix-up is the one to help you after you make your case for learning, growth, and developing relationship skills. If the shadchan will hear your sincerity and honesty, s/he will probably get you some answers and begin to get to know you better through this process. If, however, a couple has gone out several times, it is up to them to talk to each other directly. Even though most people sense when it’s not going anywhere, being open and upfront about what’s not working takes courage and maturity which you may not find in the other person. I believe that with skillful communication and practice, you can get feedback. Focus on making the person comfortable and safe. Part of that can be making the request while at the same time specifically giving him/her the opportunity not to respond. Frame it as a gift s/he can give you for the future so that the time you spent together was truly bringing the right one – one step closer. Also, keep in mind, that if looks are the issue, you will never hear about it directly. Once again, I agree with you. Good luck with refining and polishing your communication skills so that you can get the answers you seek.

THE MOTHER Sarah Schwartz Schreiber, PA

t seems the essence of your frustration revolves around two issues: The Shidduch System. A time-honored, generation-tested, matchmaking method where daters are mercilessly and mindlessly judged by a jury of friends, neighbors, distant relatives or former schoolmates. Yes, the “system” is antiquated and lopsided. It’s unfair that people who hardly know you play such a pivotal role in your future. In other cultural and social milieu, people meet and decide for themselves if the potential mate is cool enough, smart enough, attractive enough. In our

system, your second cousin dismisses a wonderful girl because, in her opinion, you deserve much better. “Huh?” you’re thinking, “let me judge for myself.” I can only validate your frustration and encourage you to keep on davening. The system works because, despite the gossip and negativity, there is an Omnipotent shadchan who works on getting the stars to align so that the small people on this planet say the right things to the right people and presto…you’re engaged! The question of “vulnerability.” Sounds more like your insecurity. Why should your confidence depend on others’ opinion of you (“I just want to know what people think of me?”). If you think your image needs a tune-up or you seek constructive feedback because you keep hearing, “No, he’s not the one for me,” consult a professional. A qualified life coach, psychotherapist or dating counselor have the credentials and experience to help bolster your self-esteem so

that you can avoid social pitfalls and project a healthy, attractive attitude to those around you.

The Shadchan Michelle Mond

f I’m reading your question correctly, it appears that you’re frustrated because you don’t receive constructive and helpful feedback after being given a “no” after a date. While you don’t feel rejected, you would like to learn about yourself from others’ perspectives, as well as to determine whether there are aspects about yourself which you need to fine-tune. Indeed, the dating process is, in and of itself, a potential springboard for personal growth, leading to the ultimate goal of finding a marriage partner. If there is something you can learn from one relationship to help you for the next to make it more

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SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

successful, it is important to have that feedback as a guide. So you’re absolutely correct – you’re entitled to feedback after a date, and the excuse “it’s not shayach” is not a fair answer given the time and effort you just spent. To this end, here’s one proactive approach you may take: Before going out, tell the shadchan that you would appreciate and highly value receiving feedback on the experiences and thoughts your dates have. Have the shadchan ask the girl after your meeting to elaborate on what she enjoyed. If she doesn’t want to continue, the shadchan should know that you want a disclosure as to what exactly was felt to be non-compatible. Being open with the shadchan ahead of time is important – this will prepare the shadchan to ask the appropriate post-date questions and feedback. By the way, this advice applies to girls as well!

Now, if you are referring to hearing “it’s not shayach” when a girl declines a shidduch after pre-shidduch “investigations,” that’s a different story. People may have their own meshuga’asim these days leading to pre-date rejection. I’ve seen parents reject a wonderful young man because they can’t find a common mutual reference with the girl’s side. A boy rejected a first date because his brother heard that on a scale of 1-10 personality-wise, she was only a 7 (?). These things are not your problem, will likely just lead to more frustration, and the knowledge certainly does not contribute anything helpful. Your hishtadlus is utilizing constructive feedback after a date. Having said that, make sure your references think highly of you and know you well currently. In addition, put together an updated, spellchecked, and neat shidduch profile. When someone has access

Pulling It All Together The Navidaters

to all the pertinent information put together well, you have done you hishtadlus. Hatzlacha!

The Single

We often don’t see ourselves, but our loved ones do.

irst off, we are a culture of people who don’t want to hurt each other, which is good and bad. We are so fearful of hurting people because of what we were taught in the Torah to “not do onto others as we would not want done onto us,” plus, it tends to lead to mudslinging, and/or loshon hara, and maybe (G-d forbid) it may come to prevent the person from finding a future mate because of hearsay. So instead we are a culture of ghosting (disappearing) or we beat around the bush about the real issues. Most people don’t want the drama of confrontation while delivering a rejection in dating, hence using a shadchon as a middle man is preferred. Also, one definitely does not

want the uncomfortableness of giving a reason since the majority of the time the reasons are unsubstantiated in nature and/or are petty. In some rare cases, some women will be open in the area of giving you guidance, if you ask them, though that is more likely to come from a 30+ year old woman or a shadchan who would be so kind as to mentor you by giving you some womanly advice. If you wish to take things to the next level of knowing and understanding the areas that need work in your current dating script, then seek out a dating coach who you can report back to after each and every date to help you tweak your dating style in order for you to be successful in honing in on the right woman suitable for you and the areas that need to be modified within your script, someone who will give you a game plan to take to your next level in your dating and relationship plan.

decrease of “middlemen (and women).” As long as daters have the comfort and ease of communicating with each other through shadchanim and family members, we enable this lack of feedback and subsequent personal growth. It seems to me that you are someone who deeply appreciates honesty and openness and are committed to your personal growth as you navigate dating, relationships and one day, G-d willing, marriage. It may be harder for you to navigate a system that certainly in the beginning stages of dating indirectly discourages your wonderful characteristics and qualities. If it’s any consolation, believe me when I tell you that there are men and women out there who possess your qualities and who are struggling with the very same things. I think your job is to find a woman

with these core values. Now, how do you do that when the feedback you are craving is not available to you? 1) I noticed the amount of mental and emotional energy you have invested into the women who reject you without meeting you. They are draining you of your precious mental real estate and they need to be evicted at once. Focusing on them is distracting you from your main goal of finding the right woman. And, as you have said yourself, that you have done the same at times. Whatever their reasons, they have nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. You need to really understand what I just wrote. If someone rejects you before getting to know you, then they are looking for something that you do not offer… And you can’t possibly offer everyone everything. Most of the time, these rejections are not personal. Maybe

Irit Moshe

Dating and Relationship Coaches and Therapists

he panelists did a beautiful job both summarizing and validating your concerns about the lack of constructive feedback and openness to vulnerability within the shidduch system. The Rebbetzin hit the nail on the head, many times over! If I could wave a magic wand around the entire thing, believe me (a ’la Donald Trump), I would make some changes. Many a single man and woman have walked through my door, scratching their heads wondering what they are “doing wrong.” Many have expressed the same frustration, which, when you boil it down, is really about wanting to get real. Without giving away any information, I have worked with a handful of people who’ve expressed additional misgivings that they “have to come to a therapist’s office to get

feedback. You don’t even know me. I would love to hear it directly from the horse’s mouth.” (Chas v’shalom, I’m not insinuating their dates were horses.) Unfortunately, I do not have the ability to change the system or the women who are withholding … and neither do you. These things are not in your control. We will get to what is in your control in a moment. If I did, I would encourage men and women to give constructive feedback when asked. But this would require so many parts of the system to change, including encouraging men and women to be more direct with each other, taking more control of their dating, and a significant

The 8, 2015 2016 TheJewish JewishHome Home| |SEPTEMBER OCTOBER 29,

the freckle on your cheek reminds someone of the uncle she can’t stand who has a freckle in the same place. We can’t satisfy everyone and will not be liked by everyone. Part of maturing (and increasing the quality of your life) is accepting this. This goes for husband/wife potentials, family members, friendships, and even professional relationships. We can’t all be friends. It’s not human nature. 2) Focus in on the women whom you have dated. I particularly cared for Michelle Mond’s suggestion. If you are working with a shadchan, let her know that you would genuinely appreciate the feedback of the women you date. Be prepared for ridiculous responses and perhaps some hurtful or painful insights into your character or appearance. (I have never met you. You may be a model with wonderful middos… I’m just putting the possibility out there). I hope your resume includes your strong values when it comes to being honest and open. If it does, you are more likely to attract a woman look-

Keep in mind that it takes two growthoriented mature individuals to share openly about themselves and to be vulnerable.

ing for the same. Also, trusted and sensitive friends and family can be a wonderful source of constructive criticism. True, they aren’t with you on your dates, but they may possess some powerful or minor insights that you haven’t thought of yet. We often don’t see ourselves, but our loved ones do! 3) Lower your expectations for brutal honesty after a first date. After all, you are essentially strangers who shared a dinner or a Coke. You wouldn’t expect brutal honesty from the guy you just met at yeshiva or ahead of you on line at CVS. You can

expect that kind of honesty after the relationship has progressed. It’s not easy for people to be blunt right off the bat. 4) I am wondering how long you have been dating, how many women you have dated, and whether or not you have been in a serious relationship. If you have been dating for some time and are wondering if perhaps you have a “blind spot” when it comes to yourself, then I recommend seeing a therapist or dating coach until the women start giving their opinions. No, this suggestion does not answer your original question, but you may gain some new insights into your dating self that the women aren’t sharing. Certain things can be improved upon with therapy or coaching, depending on the issue. Sometimes a tweak in communication style, conversation skills, personal attire, hygiene, chivalry, etc. are all it takes to become a more successful dater. In conclusion, I do believe that constructive feedback should be

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encouraged when asked. How to change that? Social reform. A movement. A stamp of approval from the respected people in our community whose voices and opinions are adhered to… By writing into the panel, you have brought attention and awareness to a glaring issue in the world of shidduchim. I hope this is a platform for further discussion and a catalyst for change … for those who want it. Sincerely, Jennifer

Esther Mann, LCSW and Jennifer Mann, LCSW are licensed, clinical psychotherapists and dating and relationship coaches working with individuals, couples and families in private practice in Hewlett, NY. To set up an appointment, please call 516.224.7779. Press 1 for Esther, 2 for Jennifer. If you would like to submit a dating or relationship question to the panel anonymously, please email thenavidaters@gmail.com. Follow The Navidaters on FB and IG!

SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | The Jewish Home

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

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SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Dr. Deb

Feelings are Such a Nuisance By Deb Hirschhorn, Ph.D.

“Y

a know,” Robert said, quite sincerely, “I am much better in ‘numb’ mode. Then I don’t have to feel any pain at all.” “But in ‘numb’ mode, you are liable, as you did at one time, to just let loose all your anger because you can’t feel the pain you put Roberta into. Do you want that to happen again?” “No,” Robert admitted, “but I can’t bear the pain of what’s going on right now.” “Let’s use that pain to fix the problem, shall we?” I suggested. Another guy, Tony – why are they always guys? – said, “But if I smile and pretend everything is fine, then we don’t fight. Or at least not that much.” “Oh really?” I asked, genuinely perplexed. “But your wife is miserable with your façade. She doesn’t know

who you are! How can you think that just smiling and sweeping the dust under the rug is fine? After all, you are here, seeing me, because everything is not fine.” “Well, that’s correct,” Tony admitted, “but maybe acknowledging my own pain would make things worse.” “Let’s try and see,” I offered.

Feelings are a Source of Information. Use Them. To Robert, Roberta, Tony and Tanya, emotions seem like “the enemy.” They hurt. But if a person ignores them, they can be in an awful lot of hot water. A friend of mine lost her husband because he refused to see a doctor. “Oh, it’s just a little stomach problem; let’s not baby me,” he said. But it wasn’t a little problem at all. And then it was too late.

Emotional pain works the same way. We learn a lot about ourselves from it. And how to take care of the problem that caused it. So I was sitting with Tony and I was growing irritated with him. That is extremely unusual. I generally like people and this particular individual was very nice. What was there to be irritated about? But my irritation is what helped save his marriage. It took three days of trying to pinpoint what was bothering me until it popped me in the face: His smile, sweet as it was, was fake. That was what was irritating me. The smile was a mask and I could not tell who this Tony really was! It was like interacting with a pleasant robot, but one without a personality. No wonder his wife was frustrated. But once I fig-

ured it out, I would tell him that the mask was undoing him and he needed to drop it. True, it wasn’t easy, but little by little the real person emerged. So, even my feelings are useful. This exercise is not just for people in relationship trouble. Everyone can profit from knowing what they feel and then use that to try to figure out why they feel that way. That is, to trace back what was going on to bring that feeling out. But what about a guy like Robert? Here he is suffering. He knows he’s suffering and he knows why. What new information can this pain he’s feeling give him? Robert’s case is the simplest of all: So that when he talks to his wife, he doesn’t attack her. Robert is suffering because he and his wife, Roberta, were fighting for 15

years. Finally, she left him. Now, they’re working on reuniting – and his wife isn’t moving fast enough to suit him. He feels unloved and unwanted. Well, he’s correct: She really doesn’t love the person he used to be, at least not when she thinks about how it felt when they were fighting and he would say something nasty. Who would love that? She brings these old memories to mind quite often, and then, of course, she hates him. So there I am, trying to help her notice the improvements and just when she is finally acknowledging that, yes, there are great improvements, does Robert really need to go numb and punch her (figuratively) in the jaw? I don’t think so. That would be counterproductive, wouldn’t you say?

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

So Why Do Robert and Roberta Go Back to Counterproductive Behavior? Because it feels safe. Protective. Think about it: If you are in pain, isn’t it nice and safe to not feel that? That’s why the dentist gives you a Novocain. What’s wrong with that?

in the past. I wish you would take a look at me now and see how I’ve changed.” So why doesn’t Roberta do that? Again, for protection. This time, it’s the pain that gives the protection. Every time she reminds herself of the past pain, she takes a step backwards emotionally, away from Robert and away

It’s scary to pull away the masks that make you feel so safe, even if they’re phony.

Nothing if we’re talking about just a cavity in a tooth, but everything in the world when we are talking about relationships. What Robert needs to do is shed the protection and say, softly and lovingly, “It hurts me that you still live

from any chance of being vulnerable and being open to being hurt again. You can see how really unhelpful his wife’s approach is: She’s avoiding future pain by living in past pain. She’s miserable! And for what? – so she won’t be

miserable. Robert’s “protection” by numbing out and his wife’s “protection” by choosing misery are really no protections at all. They’re frauds, just like Tony’s smile. But it’s scary to pull away the masks that make you feel so safe, even if they’re phony. I remember being about 8-years-old, up in the mountains at camp for the summer, afraid to dive into the lake. My arms were over my head which was down facing the water and I stayed like that for about a half an hour, refusing to take the plunge. I was feeling “safe” up on the dock. But was I? No, because I didn’t know how to swim very well. I wasn’t safe at all. Not diving in rendered me unsafe. But I didn’t think about it that way at the time.

HOW DO YOU DIVE IN? Well, you just do. I did, eventually, and loved it.

That was the end of my phony safety and the beginning of real safety. But for people who have spent a lifetime hiding their feelings, it’s a different story. They don’t even know what feelings they have or how to access them. When they can access them, they have no idea how these feelings got there! They seem alien. And they certainly don’t know how to make themselves feel better. Some therapist, decades before computers were in every household and people added emoticons to their text messages, created a “feelings chart” made up of what we would call emoticons. I think it’s a great tool and I still use it to help people get started identifying their emotions. The beauty of it is that it expands one’s vocabulary from “I feel good,” “I feel bad” to more nuanced language – which, in turn, helps a person zero in on precisely what they feel.

Knowing what you feel – and why – is only the beginning. Now, a person is in a prime position to share that information with those that matter in their lives. That sharing in turn creates intimacy, the kind of intimacy that goes deep to the core of who you are. Yes, it is scary. It’s also wonderful. Do you want to use this great tool to enhance your relationships? And more? Come hear me speak at the JCC next week on Wednesday the 14, at 207 Grove Avenue, Cedarhurst, NY 11516. The program is from 7-9 and I will be speaking sometime during that period.

Dr. Deb Hirschhorn is a Marriage and Family Therapist. She can be reached at 646-54-DRDEB or by writing drdeb@drdeb.com.

SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Health & F tness

Back to School Nutrition By Aliza Beer MS, RD

rench fries, tater tots, hot dogs, sweetened fruit cups, pizza, chicken nuggets, macaroni and cheese, and white bread are just some of the common foods found in a typical school’s hot lunch menu. While lacking in vegetables, fruits, whole grains, and fiber, school lunches are loaded with saturated fat, refined carbohydrates, and are high in sodium. Since children are getting almost half of their daily calories at school, it is probably time to rethink this menu. Unfortunately, school lunch programs are meant to appeal to the general “kid friendly” menu, which has come to mean foods void of much nutrition. Furthermore, these foods are cheaper and easier to obtain, thus making them the ideal cafeteria staple foods. Though most school lunch programs offer vegetables as part of the menu, on most days the selection of vegetables consists of a variation of potatoes. Even when cafeterias do have the option for a salad, often the selections seem bland and unappealing and are rarely the food of choice for students. Since children will spend a majority of their day in school, eating at least one meal and a snack there, it is imperative that they build

healthy nutritious habits. Being exposed to daily unhealthy food choices from a young age and throughout adolescence can be the springboard to poor health and nutrition in the adult years. Bringing lunch to school instead

drates and vegetables and fruit over high sodium snacks. Some guidelines to packing a healthy lunch and guaranteeing proper energy for your children can be found below: Protein: Some good examples of lean proteins include tuna, salm-

When packing lunch for school it is important to ensure that a proper balance of nutritious options are being provided.

of partaking in the hot lunch program is a great way to ensure a nutritious meal. For starters, homemade food is void of all the processed junk found in many of the prepared lunches at school. Also, packing lunch can provide way more variety than the options offered in a school cafeteria, which tend to be repeated a few times throughout the month. When packing lunch for school it is important to ensure that a proper balance of nutritious options are being provided. This means emphasizing protein over refined carbohy-

on, eggs, chicken or turkey, lowfat yogurt or cottage cheese, and beans. These can be served on a whole-grain sandwich, as part of a salad, or even on their own. Spicing up these proteins, such as by adding cinnamon to cottage cheese or chopped scallions to tuna, can make these even more enjoyable! Whole Grains: Sticking to 100% whole grains is the best option for children. Change up a typical sandwich on bread by trying whole grain English muffins, pita, wraps, or tortillas. Dipping tuna fish in

whole grain crackers or spreading low fat cottage cheese on a whole grain rice cake are some good ways to change up a typical “sandwich meal.” Vegetables: Children can find vegetables to be plain and boring so it is important to make sure this part of lunch is appealing. Sticking to brightly colored vegetables, such as fresh cucumbers, baby carrots, and red peppers, are good selections. Packing a small amount of hummus (a healthy fat!) is a good dip if the child will not eat the vegetables plain. Hot sauce or a little salsa will make veggies more appealing as well. Baking or sautéing broccoli, cauliflower, or Brussels sprouts are also a good choice. Another option is sweet potato fries. By lightly seasoning and baking sweet potatoes a child will feel as though they are eating French fries but will not be taking in the saturated fats. Plus, sweet potatoes are a much healthier option than white potatoes. “Zoodles,” or zucchini noodles, are another low calorie and super healthy way to sneak vegetables into children. Fruit: Like vegetables, children can get sick of the same choice over and over. Alternating between ber-

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

ries, melons, bananas, apples and oranges will keep your child interested in consuming delicious and nutritious fruit! Canned fruit in its own juice or dehydrated fruit snacks are also good options, especially in the winter months when the fruit selection is slim. Beverage: Sugary drinks such as sodas, apple juice, fruit-drink pouches, and PowerAde are best to avoid. Children quickly get addicted to sweet drinks and turn to these beverages for hydration as opposed to water. Taking in all this extra sugar and calories starts to add up and is a habit worth preventing. The best option is water, which can be varied by adding slices of lemon, lime, or any berry of choice. Naturally flavored seltzer is another good alternative. Regarding healthy and satisfying school snacks, packaged chips and cookies are not the way to go. Snacks are an opportunity to provide proper energy but are often wasted on empty calories and sugar. When selecting snacks for children to bring to school, one should try to focus on fresh healthy foods, healthy fats, and protein. Some examples of this include low-fat cheese cubes, a handful of whole grain pretzels, low-fat yogurt with some berries, or a bag of healthier popcorn (such as Skinny Pop popcorn), which is a great source of fiber. Granola bars are also a good snack choice, but look to find a brand that is whole grain, low in sugar and fat, and high in fiber and protein. Some granola or protein bars are really candy bars in disguise. Look for no more than about 100 calories, at least 5 grams of fiber, and sugar should be far down on the ingredient list. For the families that for whatever reason must eat hot lunch, encourage your children to make the best choices possible and to eat a protein and whatever veggie is available to them. Discourage them from taking second helpings of the carb-filled options such as spaghetti, white rice, and mac and cheese. Try to provide them with some supplemental food options just in case the lunch is unhealthy or unappealing. If they skip or have an inadequate lunch they will snack on unhealthy snacks from their friends and come starving to dinner, overeat at dinner, and go to bed without burning off those extra calories. The food choices we make for

ful snacks are the best way to get through a long school day. Now that we are in back-to-school mode, it is important to think about the food we want our children to be eating to ensure a successful, healthy, happy, and nutritious school year!

our children and ourselves set us up for success. While school hot lunches may

Aliza Beer is a registered dietician with a master’s degree in nutrition. She has a private practice in Cedarhurst, NY. Patients’ success has been featured on the Dr. Oz show. Aliza can be reached at alizabeer@gmail.com.

be enticing for children, they are also not the healthiest. Packing a nutritious lunch and some health-

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SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | The Jewish Home

In The K

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

tchen

By Naomi Nachman

With Rosh Hashana just around the corner, I have started my recipe testing for the upcoming Tishrei season. This chicken dish was inspired by the different simanim that are used for the different yehi ratzons on Rosh Hashana.

Simanim Chicken 8 whole cloves garlic, peeled 2 small Gala or Pink Lady apples 2 large carrots 2 medium leeks, cut into thin slices 3 tbsp. olive oil, divided ½ cup honey, divided 1 lemon, freshly squeezed Paprika Kosher salt Black pepper 2 whole chickens cut into quarters Pomegranate seeds, to garnish

EX G CL RE U AT SI VE W E Q DD UA IN LI G TY G FA IFT BR ! IC S!

Ingredients

Directions Heat oven to 400°F. On baking sheet lined with parchment paper, toss the garlic, apples, carrots, and leeks, with 2 tablespoons oil, ¼ cup honey and salt and pepper. Roast the vegetables for 15 minutes. Remove the vegetables from the oven and place the chicken on top of the vegetables. Rub the chicken with the remaining tablespoon oil, honey, lemon, and paprika, and season again with salt and pepper. Lower the oven temperature to 375°F and cook uncovered for 1 hour and 15 minutes or until the chicken and the vegetables are golden brown and tender.

Naomi Nachman, the owner of The Aussie Gourmet, caters weekly and Shabbat/ Yom Tov meals for families and individuals within The Five Towns and neighboring communities, with a specialty in Pesach catering. Naomi is a contributing editor to this paper and also produces and hosts her own weekly radio show on the Nachum Segal Network stream called “A Table for Two with Naomi Nachman.” Naomi gives cooking presentations for organizations and private groups throughout the New York/New Jersey Metropolitan area. In addition, Naomi has been a guest host on the QVC TV network and has been featured in cookbooks, magazines as well as other media covering topics related to cuisine preparation and personal chefs. To obtain additional recipes, join The Aussie Gourmet on Facebook or visit Naomi’s blog. Naomi can be reached through her website, www. theaussiegourmet.com or at (516) 295-9669.

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The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

Introducing

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Gain support from parents in your situation. Seek advice and guidance from professionals. The support group series will take place every Monday, beginning

Monday, September 12, 2016 8:00 PM - 9:30 PM at Madraigos 936 Broadway, Woodmere

For more information contact Chanie Delman, LCSW, Clinical Director of Madraigos cdelman@madraigos.org 516-371-3250 ext. 2 936 Broadway, Woodmere, New York 11598 | P: 516.371.3250 F: 516.612.4515 | www.madraigos.org

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SEPTEMBER 2016| The | TheJewish JewishHome Home OCTOBER 29,8,2015 OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

After School Snacks Susan Schwamm

Does this scene sound familiar? It definitely does to me; it happens in my house almost daily! It’s 4:45 and my children rush off the school bus. Before even greeting me at the door, they rush into the kitchen and raid the fridge. “Ma, I’m starving. When’s supper?” “When’s supper? Good question. What is for supper? Even better question!” How can you make sure to give your child a nutritious, healthy and tasty snack and still make sure that he or she has room for supper? Many children eat their school lunch early in the day, some around noontime. With only a small afternoon snack at recess, it’s no wonder they come home “starved.” Here are some tips to help guide your child to good afterschool snacks that will be satisfying and still leave room for a nutritious dinner.

Figure out the Timing

sk your child when they are served lunch in school and when they last ate a snack. Chances are they have not eaten something filling in quite some time. It’s important then to make sure to offer something substantial when they come home. That being said, determine what time suppertime usually occurs in your home. Will supper be served in an hour from now or in three hours from now when daddy comes home? Knowing when dinner is served in your home should also help you determine how “big” a snack you would like to offer your child.

q T

Create a List of Options

his is a wonderful opportunity to include your child in the planning. Ask your child which foods they would prefer as an after-school snack. Come up with some healthy options together, such as fresh fruit and vegetables. Don’t eliminate foods such as cookies or potato chips altogether; explain to your child that you can only offer those options in moderation and definitely not as a daily snack. If you can, take your kids along to the grocery store and spend some time choosing healthy, tasty and filling snacks. Show your child different nutrition facts labels

and have them compare products. Pay attention to the amounts of protein, fiber, calcium, and other important nutrients, and don’t miss the chance to talk about portion sizes. Together, choose snacks that are low in sugar, fat, and salt. Children are more likely to learn to make healthy food choices on their own when they are involved in the process.

q D

Make Eating Healthy the Easy Choice

on’t expect children – even teens – to cut up their own veggie sticks. It’s just too much of a bother, especially when they’re hungry. Kids (and adults) are more inclined to eat what’s handy, so it’s important to make healthy snacks easily available by having them visible and readyto-eat at home. I find that when I have cut-up cucumbers and peppers or cut-up watermelon on the table, my children will definitely snack on those when they come home. If you are home when your children come home, you can be more involved in the creative process. Youngsters delight in eating “ants on a log” (celery topped with low-fat peanut butter and raisins) or fruit kabobs. Older children may enjoy more sophisticated snacks such as fruit smoothies or cut up pitas with hummus. Keep snacks available for times when you are not home. For example, I find that if I have healthy granola bars

or portion-controlled bags of nuts or grapes for my children available, they will make sure to reach for those initially. For nights when dinner is hours away, you could offer more substantial snacks such as half a sandwich or a quesadilla made with a wholewheat tortilla, low-fat cheese, and salsa warmed in the microwave. Nothing too complicated or filling, though. You want to make sure they eat the supper you worked hard to prepare. When offering drinks, stay away from sugary or carbonated beverages. Offer water, milk or a glass of juice. Keep in mind that if supper is a short while away, milk is a lot more filling than water.

ut o k c Che althy e our h ideas k snac

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

To help make your job so much easier, here is a list of popular, healthy snack options to offer your children. As they say, “Bon appétit!”

M Cheese wedges or cheese sticks M Cut up fruit or fruit kabobs M Cut up veggies with dip or hummus M Pita pizzas M Yogurt M Hardboiled egg slices M Popcorn

M Peanut butter and jelly on whole wheat bread M Trail mix – nuts, raisins, some chocolate chips M Parfait (yogurt, cut up fruit, granola) M Fruit smoothies M Pita chips with hummus or salsa

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M Healthy granola bars M Guacamole with cucumber rounds M Grilled cheese on whole wheat bread M Edamame M Peanut butter on rice cakes with banana

SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Studying Sm

Back to (High) School! Preparing your Teen for a Successful Year By Chaim Homnick

s the temperatures start to (hopefully) dip back below 90 and Labor Day rolls around, it means that another summer has passed and a new high school year is imminent. With the

tantalizing scent of summer’s final barbecues and the memories of camp fresh in kids’ minds, it can be tough for them to shake off the lazy doldrums of summer and slip seamlessly back into school mode. Whether

your child is entering their freshmen year or cruising into 12th grade, it is critical that they start strong and set a tone that will result in a successful year of school. Last week’s issue of TJH featured a general article about organizational tips for the start of school for younger children. Each of those tips was vital but it is important to be mindful of our older children and their needs as well rather than assume that they will nonchalantly saunter back into school-mode on their own. Here are some useful tips for ensuring that your high schooler is fully equipped and mentally prepared to excel from day one.

BE PREPARED/ ORGANIZED In elementary school, parents are generally super conscientious about getting every single item on the class list from the smocks to the pencil sharpeners. Thus it is astounding to high school teachers when some students arrive without notebooks, pens, calculators and other basics. Ensure that your high schooler has the right materials to start off on the right foot academically. If they had a summer reading or writing assignment, ensure that they completed it thoroughly. If there are textbook fees to be paid, make sure they have the right checks and forms.

KNOW THE CALENDAR The start of school is replete with

back-to-school nights, conferences, and more. Each of those functions are important. Additionally, know the dates of crucial milestones like PSAT exams, SAT/ACT registration deadlines, College Nights, and more. This helps you and your child meet deadlines and expectations without inducing anxiety, missing out on opportunities or incurring late fees.

ESTABLISH A ROUTINE With younger kids, it is obvious that the routines of bedtime, homework and lunch prep are important, and parents invest a lot of energy and effort into transitioning to a smooth routine. Your high schooler is no exception. Set curfews and establish homework standards and expectations so that they aren’t out late like it’s still the summer and so that they are doing their homework responsibly instead of scribbling answers through lunch.

COMMUNICATE WITH THE TEACHERS Another area where parents often devote more time on their preschool and elementary kids is parent-teacher conferences and general parent-teacher communication. In high school there are more teachers, more periods and often higher stakes so it is just as important to reach out to teachers and ensure that your child isn’t slacking off or just struggling in general. Regents classes have strict standards and falling

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

behind by a month’s worth of material at the start of the school year can doom a student. Teachers are happy to update conscientious parents who inquire about their kids early and often. Don’t wait for parent-teacher conferences; reach out at the beginning of the year and periodically to seek feedback so you know where your child might need encouragement and/or assistance.

EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES Extracurricular activities from sports to mock trial to chessed programs provide tremendous benefits to high schoolers as outlets, confidence-builders and even college application fodder. Don’t assume that your son or daughter will elect to sign up for a well-rounded, perfectly balanced set of extracurricular activities that complements their skills while padding their applications. Discuss the extracurricular options the school provides and encourage them to seek out the opportunities

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that will be beneficial for them while remaining manageable within the confines of their regular schedule and school requirements.

COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR CHILD Getting on the same page from day one is critical. You might expect your child to strive for 95s and up and they may be approaching their classes with the mentality of “anything over an 80 is good enough.” Realize that each child is different and each child approaches school, schoolwork and the social aspects of high school differently. Have open discussions with them before school begins and then frequently during the first few weeks of school. Validate their fears and concerns and help them find solutions to the issues that might arise academically or socially.

CREATE GOALS/ EXPECTATIONS Each year of high school presents unique challenges and targets. 9th

grade for your child might be about settling in socially, maintaining a good average, and getting used to longer hours. 10th grade might be the perfect time for your child to pursue new extracurricular activities, focus on improving their weaker subjects, and expand their group of friends. 11th grade often becomes more frenetic as SATs, APs and other requirements take priority over all else. And then 12th grade (hopefully) builds on all of the earlier experiences while your child looks to their future and plans accordingly. Each year presents unique challenges and it is important to create goals and expectations alongside your child that they can strive for and actually achieve.

CONCLUSION Ultimately, high school takes our teens and helps bridge the way to the next stage of their lives. While it is important to grant them autonomy and freedom, that doesn’t mean not being involved in the process and staying on top of both their successes and

Natural flavor • Dye free *These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

their struggles. Following the aforementioned steps at the beginning of each high school year equips our children with the requisite support and preparation to excel academically and socially. We all want the best for our kids and helping them start strong enables them to build the skills to succeed long-term.

Chaim Homnick is the College Advisor at Mesivta Ateres Yaakov of Lawrence and also teaches 5 periods of Honors/AP English Literature. Chaim is the owner of Five Towns Tutoring (fivetownstutoring.com) as well as Machane Miami Day Camp of Florida (machanemiami. com). He scored in the 99th percentile on the SAT and the LSAT and tutors both extensively along with most Regents exams. He has a Masters Degree in Educational Leadership and Administration and an MBA. For questions, comments, previous articles or tutoring, he can be reached directly at chomnick@gmail. com or 305-321-3342.

SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | The Jewish Home

A Fulfilled L fe

Enjoy the Journey By Rabbi Naphtali Hoff

“Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it.” - Greg Anderson

ecently I reached a seminal moment in my professional and personal journey. After three and a half years of study, research, and writing, I completed my dissertation requirements and earned my PsyD in Human and Organizational Psychology (I/O). The moment that I received formal notification that I was done brought great relief. There had been quite a few hurdles along the way and I was happy to know that it was all over and I had finally earned the title “doctor.” After I had a chance to celebrate, however, some nagging thoughts started to enter my mind. I began to ask myself what’s next. All of this effort. All of the papers and research. For three and a half years. And now, nothing but a few congratulations and “mazal tovs” and an updated LinkedIn profile. It was almost as if others seemed

happier about my accomplishments than I was. How could that be? I think that my mistake was that I may have focused too heavily on the end goal and assumed that by finishing the journey I would suddenly feel this rush of happiness or fulfillment, as if there was this pot of gold awaiting me on the other side of the finish line. What I soon realized was that In order to feel real satisfaction and joy, it is important to try to find it from the entire process that has led you to this point. John C. Maxwell says that “success is a daily thing, not a destination thing... Success is a journey, not a destination.” This means that we don’t become successes the day that we get our diplomas. Diplomas are merely forms of recognition for all of our hard work all of the way through. In a powerful interview with Steve Harvey, Bishop TD Jakes speaks of the need to enjoy the process, enjoy the journey. “Celebrate,” he says, “all along the way, all along the way.” To celebrate all along the way means that when we take positive steps towards becoming an even better, more accomplished person,

we should take a half-step back from time to time to recognize what we have achieved, even if our real goal remains off in the horizon. Most of us tolerate processes and delay our happiness until we reach our destination. When I get my degree, we say, I’ll be happy. When I get that job I’ll be content. When I get married I will settle down. When I lose those pounds I will be comfortable with who I am. And so on and so forth. But like an athlete who trains endlessly and tirelessly for a race, the benefits are not only in the competition. We all recognize how each mile, each training session, helps the athlete become more physically fit or at least stay in peak performance. The same can be said for all of us. Regardless of what you seek to do, recognize that each positive step is helping you in the moment while also bringing you closer to where you want to be. You completed another course? Go out for dinner. You lost a couple of pounds? Celebrate (though maybe not with food). You submitted your resume ten times and went on a bunch of interviews? Give yourself

a pat on the back, knowing that you are doing things to better your life. Take the time to reflect upon the reasons as to why you pursued your goal in the first place. Why was this so important to me for me to sacrifice so much and work so hard? Then think about all of the things that you have accomplished

an overnight success.” Getting noticed is that natural outgrowth of doing what you have been doing well while continually striving to get better. Over time, those efforts and the expertise that they have engendered is what gives people the confidence to seek your opinion and listen to your words.

“Celebrate,” he says, “all along the way, all along the way.”

along the way in order to get there. Consider the mental, physical or spiritual learning and training that you accomplished and how that positions you better for whatever it is that you want to achieve. Last year, you might say, there would be no way that I would have done X. And now you can and do. That thought alone should you bring you much satisfaction. As you reflect on your many smaller achievements keep in mind that over time they will show up. Dave Ramsey once said, “I have worked 17 years to become

Remember, it’s all about the journey, not the destination. No matter what we achieve there are always new journeys to embark upon. So we may as well get used to enjoying them.

Rabbi Naphtali Hoff, PsyD, is an executive coach and president of Impactful Coaching and Consulting (ImpactfulCoaching.com). He can be reached at 212.470.6139 or at nhoff@impactfulcoaching. com.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

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Notable Quotes “Say What?!”

Donald Trump made a surprise trip to Mexico for a meeting with the country’s president, Enrique Peña Nieto. Or as Trump put it, “Nice to meet you, Eric Piñata.” - Jimmy Fallon

A reporter went through Hillary Clinton’s schedule while she was secretary of state and found that she and Bill were often away from each other, and sometimes even on different continents. When asked why they didn’t try to coordinate their schedules, Hillary said, “Oh, we did.” - Jimmy Fallon

Queen Elizabeth is advertising for a housekeeping assistant to live and work in Buckingham Palace. The job would require dusting all the palace antiques — like chandeliers, vases, and Queen Elizabeth. - Jimmy Fallon

I believe incoming students should be met with welcoming, calm, accepting and happy messages. - Resmiyr Oral, professor of pediatrics at the University of Iowa, expressing concern that the school’s hawk mascot, Herky, looks too angry and can cause students anxiety and fear

On September 26 Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton will face off in a debate at Hofstra University. The Clinton campaign is using psychology experts to create a personality profile of Trump to figure out what his approach might be. I don’t know, are they preparing for a debate or trying to catch the Zodiac Killer?

If you’re feeling frustrated with Trump’s Mexico antics and you’re not quite sold on Hillary Clinton, luckily there’s another presidential candidate who has been making her voice heard and that’s Green Party candidate Jill Stein. If you don’t know who Jill Stein is, just picture Bernie Sanders, and now picture the woman in the back of his rally selling dreamcatchers. - James Corden

- Jimmy Kimmel

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As a general matter, when it comes to the flag, and the National Anthem and the meaning that that holds for our men and women in uniform and those that fought for us – that is a tough thing for them to get past, to then hear what his deeper concerns are. But I don’t doubt his sincerity. I think he cares about some real, legitimate issues that need to be talked about and, if nothing else, what he’s done is generated more conversation about some topics that need to be talked about. - President Obama defending 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick’s refusal to stand during the National Anthem

Supporters of both Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are motivated by fear, not excitement. And third-party candidate Gary Johnson supporters are motivated by being related to Gary Johnson. - Conan O’Brien

Clinton stated she received no instructions or direction regarding the preservation or production of records from [the] State [Department] during the transition out of her role as secretary of state in 2013. However, in December of 2012, Clinton suffered a concussion and then around the New Year had a blood clot. Based on her doctor’s advice, she could only work at State for a few hours a day and could not recall every briefing she received. - From recently released FBI notes of its interview of Hillary Clinton

Dear Colin, guess you have been pretty busy these last few days. For the record I don’t think any more or less of you for not standing for the National Anthem. Honestly, I never thought that much about you, or any professional athlete for that matter, to begin with. I’ve read your statement a few times and want you to know I am one of the reasons you are protesting. You see I am a retired police officer that had the misfortune of having to shoot and kill a 19-year-old African American male. And just like you said, I was the recipient of about $3,000 a month while on leave which was a good thing because I had to support a wife and three children under 7-years-old for about 2 months with that money. Things were pretty tight because I couldn’t work part time. Every police officer I’ve ever known has worked part-time to help make ends meet. You know Colin the more I think about it the more we seem to have in common. I really pushed myself in rehab to get back on the street, kind of like you do to get back on the field. You probably have had a broken bone or two and some muscle strains and deep bruising that needed a lot of work. I just had to bounce back from a gunshot wound to the chest and thigh. Good thing we both get paid when we are too banged up to “play,” huh? We both also know what it’s like to get blindsided. You by a 280-pound defensive end, ouch! Me, by a couple of rounds fired from a gun about 2 feet away, into my chest and thigh. We also both make our living wearing uniforms, right? You have probably ruined a jersey or two on the field of play. I still have my blood stained shirt that my partner and paramedics literally ripped off my back that cold night in January. Fortunately, like you I was given a new one. Speaking of paramedics, aren’t you glad the second we get hurt trainers and doctors are standing by waiting to rush onto the field to scoop us up? I’m thankful they get to you in seconds. It only took them about 10 minutes to get to me. By the grace of G-d, the artery in my thigh didn’t rupture or else 10 minutes would have been about 9 minutes too late. We also have both experienced the hate and disgust others have just because of those uniforms we wear. I sure am glad for your sake that the folks who wear my uniform are on hand to escort you and those folks that wear your uniform into stadiums in places like Seattle! - From an open letter to Colin Kaepernick by retired Virginia Police Officer Chris Amo

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Today, the president of Mexico hosted Donald Trump. It was just another example of a Mexican doing a job that Americans don’t want. - Conan O’Brien

Oh, my luggage. Um — hold on. - Ben Carson, walking off of a live interview on CNN while on a street in Detroit with Trump

I think I’m allergic to Trump. - Quip by Hillary Clinton during a four minute coughing fit at an Ohio rally on Labor Day

Dear Andrew, Get a life. Thanks. Nick - Tweet by Nick Merrill, traveling press secretary for Hillary Clinton, to an NBC reporter who reported about Hillary’s four minute coughing attack at a rally in Ohio

I was sort of Robin Hood, except I didn’t rob anybody. I just asked people with money to give it to people who didn’t have money. - Bill Clinton talking about the Clinton Foundation at an Ohio rally

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Political Crossfire

Does Trump Know What it Means to Preach Law and Order? By Michael Gerson

o far, Donald Trump’s outreach to AfricanAmericans has consisted of stereotyping them as impoverished, as attending failed schools and as unemployed, and then asking what they have to lose by supporting him. If this sounds like a typically biased media summary of Trump’s views, here he is: “You live in your poverty, your schools are no good, you have no jobs ... . What … do you have to lose?” Most people, it turns out, don’t like being referred to as part of an undifferentiated mass of failure and despair, particularly when the assertion is wildly inaccurate (most African-Americans don’t live in poverty). And this message is particularly difficult to swallow from a white guy who initially could not bring himself to repudiate David Duke, who has retweeted bogus and racist crime statistics, and whose campaign chairman ran a website that legitimizes white nationalism. In his (very partial) defense, Trump often seems unaware that he is spouting offensive drivel. In speaking to “the blacks,” Trump is Archie Bunker on an outreach tour (the youngsters should look it up). But this

is part of the problem for the GOP. Archie Bunker didn’t realize he was acting like Archie Bunker. In many ways, Trump’s campaign seems like a rerun of politics in the late 1960s and early 1970s. On foreign policy, the Republican nominee sometimes sounds like George McGovern’s “Come Home America.” In appealing to racial division and blue-collar resentment, Trump echoes George Wallace’s “Stand Up for America.” In placing “law and order” at the center of his campaign, Trump is channeling Richard Nixon, who played to a silent majority’s fear of social disorder. But political nostalgia can have major policy implications. For example, when Nixon employed “lock ‘em up” rhetoric, only about 100 people were incarcerated per 100,000 of the population (a level that had not substantially changed since the 1920s). Now that figure is more than 700 – lower than at the peak, but still the highest rate in the world. Trump is addressing the crime issue near the end of a massive, unprecedented experiment in routine incarceration. And he seems to have no idea what he is doing, or undoing.

Trump is correct that people in poor and minority communities suffer first and most when crime is rampant and violent recidivists go free. Poor people depend on public order; wealthier people can purchase order with gates, guards and moving trucks. But an understandable response to high crime rates has had a series of unintended consequences. Some neighborhoods feel like they are under military occupation. Mass incarceration removes large numbers of men and women from communities, then returns large numbers to communities with even worse problems and prospects – a constant churn of downward mobility. Children are hurt in countless ways when their parents are imprisoned. Young people are too easily sucked into a criminal justice system that too often recruits them into criminal careers. The elements of our criminal justice system that are most destructive and criminogenic have become the focus of a remarkable reform movement in recent years. Steven Teles and David Dagan tell the story in their recent book, “Prison Break: Why Conservatives

Turned Against Mass Incarceration.” Unexpectedly, they argue that the almost complete consolidation of Republican power in certain states has reduced the political motivation for attacking

reform work of the late Chuck Colson. House Speaker Paul Ryan would probably fall into both categories. “I think we need to let more people earn a second chance in life,” he has argued. “Instead of

With his misguided, simplistic and offensive rhetoric, Trump has been blowing up bridges across ideological divides for more than a year now

Democrats as soft on crime. Deep red states such as Texas and Georgia have taken the lead in juvenile justice reform that offers alternatives to incarceration without making the streets less safe. Libertarians such as the Koch brothers are predictably skeptical of denying liberty, as a matter of course, to more than 2 million people at any given time. But they have been joined by religious conservatives who are prone to believe in the possibility of human redemption and influenced by the prison

locking people up, why don’t we unlock their potential?” With his misguided, simplistic and offensive rhetoric, Trump has been blowing up bridges across ideological divides for more than a year now, which may take many Republican presidential campaigns to rebuild. But this is one area – if he and his advisers are smart and willing to reverse course – that he might abandon a slogan from 1968 for a policy more suited to our time. (c) 2016, Washington Post Writers Group

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Political Crossfire

The Only Immigration Solution By Charles Krauthammer

he one great service of Donald Trump’s extended peregrinations on immigration policy is to have demonstrated how, in the end, there’s only one place to go. You can rail for a year about the squishy soft, weakkneed and stupid politicians who have opened our borders to the wretched refuse of Mexico. You can promise to round them up – the refuse, that is, not the politicians (they’re next) – and deport them. And that may win you a plurality of Republican primary votes. But eventually you have to let it go. For all his incendiary language and clanging contradictions, Trump did exactly that in Phoenix on Wednesday. His “deportation task force” will be hunting ... criminal aliens. Isn’t that the enforcement priority of President Obama, heretofore excoriated as the ultimate immigration patsy? And what happens to the noncriminal illegal immigrants? On that, Trump punted. Their “appropriate disposition” will be considered “in several years when we have … ended illegal immigration for good.” Everyone knows what that

means: One way or another, they will be allowed to stay. Trump’s retreat points the way to the only serious solution: enforcement plus legalization. The required enforcement measures are well known – from a national E-Verify system that makes it just about impossible to work if you are here illegally, to intensified border patrol and high-tech tracking. The one provision that, thanks to Trump, gets the most attention is a border wall. It’s hard to understand the opposition. It’s the most venerable and reliable way to keep people out. The triple fence outside San Diego led to a 90 percent reduction in infiltration. Israel’s border fence with the West Bank has produced a similar decline in terror attacks into Israel. The main objection is symbolic. Walls, we are told, denote prisons. But only if they are built to keep people in, not if they are for keeping outsiders out. City walls, going back to Jericho, are there for protection. Even holier-than-thou Europeans have conceded the point as one country after another – Hungary, Macedonia, Bulgaria, Austria, Greece, Spain, why even Norway –

has started building border fences to stem the tide of Middle Eastern refugees. The other part of the immigration bargain is legalization. What do you do with the 11 million already here? In theory, you could do nothing. The problem ultimately solves itself as the generation of the desert – those who crossed the border originally – is eventually replaced by its American-born children who are automatically legal and landed. But formal legalization is a political necessity. It gets buy-in from Democrats who for whatever reason – selfstyled humanitarianism or bare-knuckled partisanship – have no interest in real border enforcement. Legalization is the quid pro quo. If they want to bring the immigrants “out of the shadows,” they must endorse serious enforcement. Such a grand bargain could and would command a vast national consensus. The American public will accept today’s illegal immigrants if it is convinced that this will be the last such cohort. This was the premise of the 1986 Reagan amnesty. It legalized almost 3 million immigrants. Because it

never enforced the border, however, three has become 11. And that’s why the Gang of Eight failed. They too got the sequencing wrong. The left insisted on legalization first. The Gang’s

Wednesday) or to be treated “case by case” (Trump last week). The Trump detour into – and retreat from – deportation has proved salutary. Even the blustering tough guy had to dismiss it with

Trump’s retreat points the way to the only serious solution: enforcement plus legalization.

Republicans ultimately acquiesced because they figured, correctly, this was the best deal they could get in an era of Democratic control. The problem is that legalization is essentially irreversible and would have gone into effect on Day One. Enforcement was a mere promise. Hence the emerging Republican consensus, now that Trump has abandoned mass deportation: a heavy and detailed concentration on enforcement, leaving the question of what happens to those already here either unspoken (Trump on

“we’re not looking to hurt people.” The ultimate national consensus, however, lies one step further down the road. Why leave legalization for some future discussion? Get it done. Once the river of illegal immigration has been demonstrably and securely reduced to a trickle, the country will readily exercise its natural magnanimity and legalize. So why not agree now? Say it and sign it. To get, you have to give. That’s the art of the deal, is it not? (c) 2016, The Washington Post Writers Group

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

YESHIVA OF FAR ROCKAWAY Invites all our alumni

to a learning program

Sunday mornings during the month of Elul & Aseres Yemei Teshuva

The program will take place on Sundays

September 11th 18th, 25th and October 9th Schedule:

9:45 – 11:00 am

Chavrusa learning 11:00 – 11:45 am

Shiur and divrei chizuk

By Hanhallas HaYeshiva Shiurim will given be by

Rabbi Moshe Brown ‫שליט"א‬

Rabbi Dovid Kleinkaufman ‫שליט"א‬ Rabbi Yosef Bronner ‫שליט"א‬

Rabbi Moshe Perr ‫שליט"א‬ ‫ לז"נ‬three young community members ‫משה בן דוד ע"ה‬ ‫שמעון בן יחזקאל ע"ה‬ ‫משה בן יוסף מתתי' ע"ה‬

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Rocky’s

Rant

Mine Has a Moonroof By Rocky Zweig

don’t need to be in shul to know that it’s Chodesh Elul. As soon as all the parking spots in Flatbush disappear, I know L’Dovid is around the corner. So in honor of Elul and my mom’s yahrzeit (4 Elul), I’ve decided to write a mussar article (sort of). What’s that you say? You don’t believe I’m capable of writing something that might be mechazeik the olam before the Yomim Nora’im? You think I’m all fun and games? You know, kind of like WINS, all news all the time, only substitute the word letzonis instead of news? Is that what you think? Is it? Huh? Is it? Yeah, you’re probably right. Never mind; sorry I brought it up. No, wait! What am I saying?! Oh ye of little faith! I actually have some mussardike things to say, and a fairly decent command of English, or so I’ve been led to believe. After all, I do write for a major metropolitan newspaper. And it’s not like I’ve never pointed out some of our community’s shortcomings before, right? Also, I’m pretty sure no one ever reads that little biographical blurb that follows all these articles, and it’s just as well: truth be told, I’m not all that interesting. Also, it’s not even accurate anymore. For example, I no longer have two fish tanks and one bird; I have no fish tanks and two birds (my bearded dragon, Rab-

bi Horatio LeZard, is still with us). Now that you have all this new information, you should be able to sleep much more soundly at night. In fact, you might be dozing a bit right now. But another thing it mentions is that I used to write hashkafa articles in my local Pirchei newspaper, the Modieinu, when I was about sixteen. Me! Hashkafa articles! Maybe Sasquatch and UFOs really do exist! Of course back then they mostly consisted of “Learn good” and “Don’t beat up your sister,” but at least I tried. Fast forward about fifty years (yikes!) and today’s article will be about shmiras halashon. You know those bumper sticker that have been popping up all over lately that read, “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all”? That’s what this is going to be about. But it’s not going to be about loshon hara per se. It’s more about putting your brain in gear before setting your mouth in motion. We all are guilty of it at one time or another: we’ll be saying something reasonably intelligent and generally benign, but then one of our synapses will be on a lunch break, misfire, and next thing we know something totally asinine and usually hurtful will come barreling out of our face before we can stop it. In other words, we take something either neutral or even pleasant and turn it

into a disaster. I thought of a pop-culture reference to use as a title that I decided against: Nancy Sinatra’s 1967 song, “Something Stupid,” which has the very appropriate lyrics, “And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid…” The title I did choose refers to a situation where your chaver is telling you about the new car he just bought because he knows you own the exact same one. After a lifetime of pre-owned vehicles, he’s finally arrived at a point in his life where he’s able to afford a nice, spanking new car with a lot of bells and whistles. He’s really happy about it and well, kind of proud of it, too. So you wait till he finishes describing everything to you with his eyes twinkling and joy in his heart, and you tell him something that’s sure to make him feel really terrific: “Wow, Moish, that’s fantastic. Tischadeish. It sounds really beautiful. Enjoy it and use it only for good things.” “Thanks, Akiva.” “No problem. Oh, and by the way…mine has a moonroof.” Seriously, Akiva? Was that really necessary? Did you need to add those four hurtful words, just to knock some wind out of his sails? It’s what I call a “compliment caveat,” and many of us do it all the time, and we’re not even aware of it: “That’s a gorgeous dress. Don’t

you think it would have been prettier in blue?” “Your son is so handsome. It’s a shame about the pimples.” “I really love your house. But I do think you need a new gardener.” Is it just that we can’t even fahrgin someone a compliment without attaching a disclaimer? I mean, come on, people, why not? After all, saying something nice is free. It doesn’t cost you a dime, and it’s technically not even totally altruistic because you feel really good doing it. So the complimentor may be gaining just as much as the complimentee! I get it all the time. I’ll be walking down the street or standing on line in Bagel Hole waiting for my tuna on whole wheat wrap and DPS (please tell me you know what a DPS is!) and someone will compliment me on an article or a letter I’ve recently written. I’ve become inured to it, but nine times out of ten after they finish saying the good stuff, I’m just standing there waiting for the other shoe to drop, anticipating that fateful “BUT”… “…BUT it was too long.” “…BUT you made a few grammatical errors.” “…BUT you could use a breath mint.” And messing up compliments is not the only place we’re guilty of foot-in-

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

mouth disease. If we could just edit what we blurt out while it’s still floating around our gray matter… Case in point: It’s been brought to my attention that nowadays girls almost always include their photo in their shidduch resumes. Personally, I don’t understand what’s wrong with blind dates. Not wanting to go on blind dates is like saying you won’t accept any birthday presents that have been gift wrapped. But hey, that’s just me. Anyway, apparently it has become perfectly acceptable for a bochur to insist on seeing a picture before deigning to allow some fortunate young lady to bask in his wonderfulness, lest he be mevateil Torah for a couple hours all for naught (huge helping of dan l’kaf z’chus there) r”l. But I recently heard about one guy (let’s call him Chaim Yankel) who so brilliantly snatched thoughtlessness from the jaws of mentchlechkeit, I couldn’t help but be in awe of his utter lack of common courtesy. He was redt a shidduch and given the girl’s resume. Here’s how he responded: “I looked at her picture and I saw that she wasn’t what I was looking for. Please don’t think I’m shallow. Thanks for thinking of me, I hope you’ll try again.” What a tipish! All Chaim Yankel had to do was edit out the “I looked at her picture…” part and he would have come across as a nice, upstanding yeshiva guy. Just start with, “I’m sorry, I don’t think she’s for me…” Period, end of story, and he’d probably hear from the shadchan again. Now? I can only tell you that if I were the shadchan (although the truth is, hardly anyone ever asks me to redt shiduchim anymore, mainly because most people know that to me, a young lady is one who hasn’t yet received her AARP card), I wouldn’t set this guy up with an orangutan. Certainly not an attractive one! Here’s another example of speaking without thinking I ran into recently. I went for a checkup and was told that one of my test results came back a little funky. So the doctor had his vampire-du-jour drain much of my red stuff into a bunch of vials and said that if he couldn’t figure out what was going on from the blood,

I’d need to have a procedure done which I had already had done way

All my best wishes for a gut, gebentched yuhr!

Not wanting to go on blind dates is like saying you won’t accept any birthday presents that have been gift wrapped.

back in 2011 after I was discharged from Columbia Presbyterian. It was a serious, rather painful affair, and I was understandably quite anxious about it. It was going to take three weeks (!) till I knew if it was going to be necessary. I confided to a few close friends about what was going on and how nervous I was. They were all very supportive, some adding me to their refa’einu lists. When I found out that my numbers had stabilized, that I was okay and wasn’t going to need the procedure after all, I called them all up to give them the good news. Obviously everyone was happy for me, but here’s how one friend expressed it: “Oh, I hadn’t even thought about it. That’s wonderful.” Um, gee thanks. Do you think I could have done without the knowledge that you had put the thing totally out of your mind? Don’t get me wrong: I have no tainah to the guy for not thinking about my problems 24/7, but did he really need to throw it in my face? So you see? I wrote a mussar article (sort of) after all! And I don’t think I even put anyone to sleep. We hear about shmiras halashon all the time, but I’ve never heard anyone talk about this specific p’rat before. Maybe I just need to get out more. I don’t think it’s a hard thing to correct. Just wait a second or two before spitting out whatever pearls of wisdom are waiting there on the tip of your tongue, checking them for anything that might cause pain or anguish to whomever is on the receiving end. You’ll feel better, they’ll feel better, and I’ll have done something worthwhile for a change! K’siva v’chasima tova, everyone.

Rocky Zweig has been writing since he was sixteen and was the Editor-in-Chief of the late and decidedly unlamented Modieinu, the mimeographed (remember mimeographs?) newspaper of the Tenth Avenue Pirchei of Boro Park, where he wrote everything from stories to news articles to hashkafa articles to... yes (now it can be told!)...letters to the editor. Rocky was sixteen a very long time ago. He is the proud father of three marginally neurotic children. He has been married three — count ‘em — three

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times and has finally determined that he’s probably not very good at matrimonial bliss. He lives in his Fortress of Solitude in Flatbush with a small menagerie: Clarice, a European Starling; Rabbi Horatio LeZard, a Bearded Dragon; an aquarium filled with Lake Malawi African Cichlids; and a ten gallon tank that functions as a Home for Unwanted Goldfish, or H.U.G., collected over the years by his grandkids and great nieces and nephews at myriad street fairs and carnivals (rather than face the unpleasant task of flushing these unfortunate piscine creatures when they are eventually, inevitably ignored by their own obnoxious progeny, the parents simply call Uncle Rocky who then feeds them and cares for them until their ultimate natural demise three or four or even ten years down the pike). So apparently Rocky seems to get along better with animals than with his fellow homo sapiens. Or sapienses. Or whatever. Rocky’s column will be appearing every other week in The Jewish Home. Rocky can be reached at anidaati@aol.com.

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SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Forgotten Her es

Jewish Commanders of Soviet Subs By Avi Heiligman

Russian submarine officer badge

ubmarines usage and value increased a lot during World War II. All major belligerents

had large underwater fleets but used them in different capacities. German U-boats were used to strangle the

Allied convoys and sink merchant shipping in the Atlantic and Arctic Oceans. The U.S. subs, at the beginning, had merchant ships at the top of their target list but as the war progressed realized that if they sank oil tankers the Japanese would not be able to run their war machines. Japanese submarines were very capable and had great torpedoes but the Navy brass decided to use them to protect the fleet. It was a costly mistake that prevented many problems for the American fleet. Britain used their subs in many capacities and are known for the special missions they performed in the Mediterranean. Italy lost many subs while guarding convoys. Soviet commanders used their subs in several areas of operations with varying results depending on the mission. As with all services in the Red military, Jewish sailors were onboard the subs and many distinguished themselves with bravery. Israel Ilyich Fisanovich was born in a small town smack in the middle of Russia. After graduating high school he worked at a tractor factory before enrolling in the USSR’s naval academy. He graduated at the top of his class and was sent to serve on submarines as part of the Baltic Fleet. As a navigator, he learned the ins and outs of the submarine and before long took command of the

M-84. Fisanovich and his submarine took part during the Russo-Finnish battles in the early part of WWII. In 1941, after a training stint on land, he returned to command his own boat – the M-172. During the course of the war, Fisanovich went on 17 patrols as part of the 3rd Submarine Brigade Northern Fleet before commanding a division of the same brigade. He sank 10 transports: a tanker and two enemy warships. In addition to patrolling the Baltic for German ships his sub took part in two special reconnaissance missions and landing of troops off the coast of Norway. In April 1944 Fisanovich went to England to take command of a submarine that was being transferred to the Soviets. The HMS Sunfish had sunk a couple of armed merchant vessels disguised to look like ordinary boats called Q-ships. The Sunfish was being lent to the Soviets and was renamed the B-1. However, the submarine did not last long in the Soviets’ possession as it was mistaken by a Coastal Command B-24 bomber and sunk. All onboard were killed including Fisanovich and a British sailor. An inquiry revealed that the plane was way off course and mistook the B-24 for a German U-boat. The crew of the B-24 was given the blame for the sinking, and the incident was hushed in order not

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

to make an international spectacle of the debacle. Captain Fisanovich was given many awards by the Soviets for bravery in action and was awarded the Navy Cross by the United States in 1943. Samuil Nakhmanovich Bogorad was born in 1907 in Vitebsk, Belarus. His first assignment of the war yielded his first victory. It came while he was assistant commander on the D-2. The sub sank a medium size transport and severely damaged an invaluable German railway ferry. Bogorad took over the ShCh-310 in March 1944, and even though he wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t the boatsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; first captain he was the most daring. From October 6, 1944 until the end of the European war, the ShCh-310 sank or damaged at least eight Nazi ships and for their feats the crew was awarded the prestigious Order of the Red Banner. What made his kills all the more impressive was that Captain Bogorad used a very hazardous tactic.

Israel Ilyich Fisanovich

Submarine of the ShCh class

Typically a submarine would hide just below the ocean and only the periscope would go above the waves to look for enemy ships. While this made it very hard for it to be detected, it also made it difficult for the boat to maneuver into a favorable firing position. During attacks Bogorad actually surfaced and while it made them a bigger target they sank more ships and were able to get away

faster (submerged speeds are slower than surface speeds). This tactic is even more incredible while factoring in that many submarines sank due to faulty torpedoes running in a circle to turn back and hit the sub. He died in 1996 after a career in the Red Navy in which he commanded two other submarines. For his victories and daring, Captain Bogorad was awarded the highest decora-

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tion in the USSR: the title of Hero of the Soviet Union. Fisanovich, Bogorad and Isaac Kabar (there is very little information available to write a profile on Kabar) were three Jewish Soviet submarine commanders who earned the title of Hero of the Soviet Union. Being a submariner was one of the most dangerous professions during WWII no matter which country the sailor represented. Soviet submariners served in icy waters most of the time and had it as rough as other submariners from around the world. The Silent Service, as the profession became known, was underappreciated by the public and the men who served on submarines are truly forgotten heroes.

Avi Heiligman is a weekly contributor to The Jewish Home. He welcomes your comments and suggestions for future columns and can be reached at aviheiligman@gmail.com.

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SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | The Jewish Home

From My Private Art Collection

The Amazing Artwork of Norman Rockwell 1894-1978 By Rebbetzin Naomi N. Herzberg

Left to right: • Art Critic • At the Optometrist • Freedom from Fear • Freedom from Want

Left to right: • Freedom of Speech • The Doctor and the Doll • The Dugout • The Runaway

orman Rockwell might have been famous as an artist but in the true sense of the word he was also a storyteller. He painted pictures that depicted the everyday lives of people and told real life stories that people related to. A famous quote of his was: “If you are interested in the characters you draw and understand them and love them, why, the people who see your picture are bound to feel the same way.” Norman Rockwell loved to ride a bike. He was admired by so many people that even his bike route in Stockbridge, Massachusetts (where he eventually settled) to Lake Averic became an extremely popular route. He also knew from the early age of fourteen that he wanted to become an artist so he made sure to take as many art lessons as possible. He left high school to study art and to learn important technical skills. By the

time he was sixteen, Norman already sold some of his designs as holiday cards. While still a teenager, Norman became an art director for a magazine called Boy’s Life. This magazine was published by the Boy Scouts. By the time Norman was twenty-one, he was producing artwork for other magazines that included Life Magazine, Literary Digest, and Country Gentleman. A year later he created a cover for The Saturday Evening Post and continued supplying beautiful artwork as covers for forty-seven years, creating hundreds of covers for the magazine. Norman Rockwell was married three times. His first marriage ended in divorce. Rockwell’s marriage to his second wife, Mary Barstow, bore him three sons. They lived in Arlington, Vermont, where Rockwell began producing paintings reflecting their life

in small town America. In 1943 Norman Rockwell produced his freedom paintings which were very popular, as they depicted President Roosevelt’s famous speech and brought his work to the next level of professionalism. These paintings were referred to as 1) Freedom of Speech; 2) Freedom to Worship; 3) Freedom from Want; and 4) Freedom from Fear. Ten years later the Rockwell family moved to Stockbridge, Massachusetts. Unfortunately, only six short years after they moved, Norman Rockwell lost his second wife Mary. Her death brought Norman tremendous sadness. It was then that he decided to write his autobiography titled, My Adventures as an Illustrator. Soon after he remarried for the third time, to a woman named Molly Punderson. He also started working for Look Magazine instead

of The Saturday Evening Post. It was during these ten years at Look Magazine that he began to express deep concerns for humanity on issues such as civil rights, poverty, and exploring space. Norman Rockwell’s Museum at Stockbridge was created to preserve his artistic legacy. He received the Presidential Medal of Freedom which is considered a special honor. Rockwell died on November 8, 1978 but his paintings and pictures of American life still warm people’s hearts today. Rebbetzin Naomi N. Herzberg is a professional art educator, artist and designer. Among her known artwork is a floral sculpture presented to Tipper Gore, Blair House, Washington, D.C. Please feel free to email nherzberg@hotmail.com with questions and suggestions for future columns.

w The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

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MACHON BASYA ROCHEL SEMINARY In Memory of

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SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

The Mystery of Argan Oil By Bentzy Weingot

hen speaking with Mustapha and Carlotta El Khorchi their faces glow as they talk with passion and pride about Morocco and the argan tree. The El Khorchi family from Agadir has been in the argan oil industry for multiple generations. In the 1940s Ibrahim El Khorchi was the largest food distributor in all of Morocco. He brought sustenance to entire cities in Southern Morocco. In 2016 Mustapha and his wife continue in the footsteps of their ancestry with pride. They established LeonGolden in 1999. LeonGolden is a laboratory in Agadir where they manufacture pure argan oil. It is the largest lab in southern Morocco that produces 100% pure, organic, and FDA approved argan oil. They own the land where the trees grow and operate the entire process from start to finish. Mustapha has begun his mission of educating people about culinary argan oil and bringing it to America in its purest form. The oil they produce is for culinary and cosmetic use. Mustapha consumes a tablespoon of argan oil in the morning and

evening on a daily basis. So what’s so special and what is the secret of this oil? To them, it’s not just another tree. It’s a concept. It’s a source of life, healing, and livelihood. In Morocco people give this tree a lot of respect. The tree provides jobs for 10% of the population in southwest Morocco. It is called the tree of life and its oil is referred to as liquid gold. How does the tree of life grow in the desert climate? What is so unique about this tree and its oil? Is there any mention of this tree in the Torah? When was this oil discovered? You might recognize the name of the argan tree from the current trend in cosmetics. Argan oil is quite popular these days in skin and hair care products, but this is nothing new. Phoenicians in as early as 1550 B.C. have recorded the use of argan oil by locals to heal and beautify their bodies. In 1510 African explorer Leo Africanus came across the argan oil when he was traveling across Morocco. From there, the oil entered Europe where only the rich and wealthy class had access to this expensive,

rare and exotic oil. Today, even after 3,500 years, the Berber women of southern Morocco are known for their exotic beauty. And their secret is applying this precious golden oil regularly to their faces, nails, hair and body. Their legendary beauty attracted scientists to the “rare oil” that these women have used as a cosmetic for centuries. Testing this oil, scientists discovered that it is full of rich antioxidants, rejuvenating vitamin E and other agents that add glow, youth and beauty to hair and nails. In Megillas Esther it mentions that when the woman would get prepared to see the king they spent six months receiving cosmetic treatment to beautify themselves. It mentions they would use oils. In all likelihood, some of those may have been argan oil. The words “eitz shemen” is mentioned four times in Tanach. Many people believe the words are referring to the olive tree. However, in Nechemiah when the Navi is telling the people what type of wood to take for Sukkos, the Navi tells the people to take “eitz zayis”

and “eitz shemen.” We see clearly from there that eitz shemen is something different than from the olive tree. In Melachim, Shlomo Hamelech commanded that the keruvim and the doors of the Beis Hamikdash shall be built from “eitz shemen.” The argan flower is called the perfect flower because it has both male and female organs, also known as a hermaphrodite. Chazal tell us that the keruvim contained the faces of a boy and a girl. Maybe the keruvim were created specifically from the argan tree for this reason. LeonGolden’s edible and virgin argan oil is carefully selected from kernels of the argan tree and then roasted. The oil is copper-colored and presents a slight hazelnut taste. Due to its intensive aroma and exquisite exotic flavor, this oil is especially suitable for all dishes including salads, meats, fish, and grilled vegetables. There are many reasons the tree is referred to as the tree of life. It is interesting to note that in southwest Morocco cancer does not exist. The people in southwest Morocco accredit that to the argan tree. The shade of this

special tree provides shade which enables other plants to grow. The tree receives its nourishment in a fascinating manner. The desert does not provide enough rainfall for the tree. The roots can grow up to 210 feet into the core of the earth to get its water. Try to imagine that. The roots act as an elevator of water for other vegetation. Animals and birds thrive from the water elevator of this wonder tree. Daily consumption of argan oil carries multiple health benefits for the human body. The oil assists in preventing cardiac illnesses and cancers, increases the strength of the immune system, helps your liver and digestive process, and also is an anti-inflammatory. The oil contains many necessary antioxidants along with Omega 3, Omega 6 fatty acids, and vitamin E. The benefits are 80% more than olive oil. It surely makes sense now why it is called the tree of life.

For more information on argan oil, please visit www.leongoldenarganoil.com or email ben zion@leongoldenarganoil.com.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

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SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | The Jewish Home

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

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SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Classifieds SERVICES

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The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

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355 Central Avenue, Lawrence NY 11559 (Across the street from Seasons)

P: 516.791.6100 | F: 516.374.7059

www.WeissmanRealty.com

THE CARLYLE - REDUCED!

 1-5 Offices available (can be subdivided)

 3 Separate entrances  3 Bathrooms  Unlimited Parking  High Speed internet  Central Air-conditioning  Well maintained outdoor area

Great for:  Business Office  Professional Space  Medical Office  Therapy Office  And more…

Full 1BR w/ 1.5 bths. Hi-End Ren. Thru. Granite Kit. w/ Custom Molding & Double Sink, 2 Dishwashers. New Wd Flrs, Granite Bths. Custom Walk-In Closets. Built-In Furn. Terrace. Incl. 1 Parking Spot, No Mnthly Fee. Call Sherri 516-297-7995 $450K LAWRENCE

WHITE HOUSE APTS BACK VIEW

Beautiful Modern 8 Bdrms, 3.5 Bths, Lrg Mstr Bdrm Ste., 2-Car garage. Call Sherri 516-297-7995 or Mindy 516-272-6445 P.O.R.

Reduced!

2 Bdrms, 2 Bths, Oversized custom granite eat-in-kitchen, Huge balcony, Separate dining room. Walk to all shopping and LIRR. $299K Call Mindy 516-272-6445

FAR ROCKAWAY APARTMENT RENTALS

For more information please call:

917-929-3241

Cedarhurst office for lease 2 or 3 room avail. 2nd r walk up on Central Ave. Call Sherri for details 516-297-7995 Far Rockaway office for lease Cornaga location, 3 to 4 offices, plus bthrm. Good for doctor, dentist or business. $1900 Call Sherri 516-297-7995

#1 Far Rockaway and 5 Towns Rental Specialists

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

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Classifieds classifieds@fivetownsjewishhome.com / text 443-929-4003 APT FOR RENT

HELP WANTED

CEDARHURST

SALES PERSON WANTED Great Income Potential! Requirements- Must currently be employed selling goods and services to companies. Compensation: Generous commission Contact: amnonaroya@gmail.com for more information

OVERNIGHT\ WEEKEND COUNSELOR Responsible and exp’d staff to live in a beautiful group home & work 3 nights\week 7pm - 9am. Staff are not req’d to remain awake after 11pm. Staff are req’d to work two weekends per month. Free rent & food. Stipend given as well. Great for college girl. For additional info contact Frayde Yudkowsky @732.948.4636 orfyudkowsky@evolvetreatment.com

500-3,500 +/- SF Beautiful, newly renovated space for rent. Ideal for Retail or Executive offices. Prime location. Convenient Parking. Call Sam @ 516-612-2433 or 718-747-8080 FAR ROCKAWAY 3 bedroom apartment. On second floor in a 3 family home. Two bathrooms, 2 balconies. Kosher kitchen with 2 sinks. Ideal for a couple or 3-4 girls. Call 516 225 4558 EXTREMELY SPACIOUS 1 BEDROOM APT IN LAWRENCE, NY 20 minutes from JFK, 30 min from queens available immediately or

Shulamith Early Childhood is looking to hire a full time teacher assistant for the upcoming school year. Please email resume to earlychildhood@shulamith.org COMPUTER TEACHER NEEDED FOR BOYS/GIRLS ELEMENTARY SCHOOL AFTERNOON email elementaryschooljobs@gmail.com

sooner at request, please contact Alexandra at (516)784-0856. This apartment is on the first floor in a private house, and includes use of gorgeous pool and backyard!! Central location, and is steps to all shopping and the LIRR!!! $1500/ month rent. All utilities included!!!!

ASSISTANT MORAH Looking for a heimish, post-high school girl to work as a warm and loving assistant Morah in a 2 year old Far Rockaway playgroup. Hours are 9-3 (12:00 Friday). Good pay, vacation, and sick days. For more information, please email dose1120@aol.com.

PCA’S / HHA’S NEEDED Unlimited Care Inc. is currently hiring Certified aides to care for our clients at home in Nassau County. F/T, P/T, Live-ins available Call Gail (516) 433-4095 HAMASPIK IS LOOKING FOR FEMALE/MALE COMMUNITY HABILITATION WORKERS, various locations and times. Driver’s license is a plus. Call 718-408-5421 Secretarial position Small, friendly Far Rockaway office has an opening. Looking for someone with basic computer competence who is responsible, organized and willing to learn. Please email resume to: sales@communicationsteam.net

HELP WANTED PARA PROFESSIONAL Motivated Individuals Work with children with special needs (ASD) Weekday, weekend hours Cases available in Queens, Long Island Flexible hours Excellent rates Call:516-213-3338 Email Resume: HR@proudmomentsaba.com

EXPERIENCED REAL ESTATE SALES AGENT needed for a HIGH Producing real estate office who is seeking an opportunity to Earn & Learn more!!! Call Today (516) 295-3000 x 128. All calls kept confidential. COMPUTER TEACHER BOYS HS Mon-Thurs, 2:45 -4-15. Email jobsatyeshiva@gmail.com

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Classifieds

classifieds@fivetownsjewishhome.com / text 443-929-4003

HELP WANTED

ASSISTANTS FOR ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, AFTERNOON HOURS Email: elementaryschooljobs@gmail.com

CATAPULT LEARNING Teachers, Title I Boro Park, Williamsburg and Flatbush Schools *College/Yeshiva Degree *Teaching experience required *Strong desire to help children learn *Small group instruction *Excellent organization skills Competitive salary Send resume to: Email: nyteachers@catapultlearning.com Fax: (212) 480-3691

YESHIVA KETANA OF QUEENS IS SEEKS THIRD GRADE TEACHER. 4 days a week. Fine salary, excellent atmosphere. Send resume torlswia@aol.com or call 917-742-8909 EXPERIENCED REAL ESTATE SALES AGENT needed for a HIGH Producing real estate office who is seeking an opportunity to Earn & Learn more!!! Call Today (516) 295-3000 x 128. All calls kept confidential We are looking to hire a MARKETING/SALES SPECIALIST Job requirements: Your own car and internet savvy. Hob has unlimited income potential. Don’t delay, give us a call at 917-612-2300 REAL ESTATE INVESTMENT AND DEVELOPMENT FIRM based out of Queens seeks motivated individuals to join our Acquisitions team. High Commissions paid, No splits. Info@zreny.com 718-285-0931 Growing company in the 5 Towns is seeking motivated, confident, out-going employee for full time bookkeeping/accounting. Must have professional bookkeeping experience, and strong teamwork skills Please submit qualified resume to admin@getpeyd.com PART TIME AND FULL TIME BOOKKEEPING POSITION Fast growing accounting and consulting firm seeks a qualified individual to assist our accounting staff in providing bookkeeping services for our clients. Qualified individuals will have the opportunity to join our employee friendly culture At least 2 years working experience Working knowledge of Microsoft Office, QuickBooks a MUST Email – info@smallbizoutsource.com YESHIVA KETANA OF LONG ISLAND SEEKS FULL TIME SECRETARY for busy school office. Organized, friendly and able to multi task. Experienced only. Please email resume to office@ykli.org YESHIVA SECRETARY Yeshiva near Brooklyn/5 Towns Seeking help during Dinner Campaign. Detail oriented and ability to multi task Yeshiva experience a plus Morning Hours, Immediately after Pesach Send Resume to officepositionhire@gmail.com

HELP WANTED

MISC

HALB LOWER SCHOOL SEEKS

Wig Gemach Everyone in our community deserves to look great! Donate used wigs and make a world of a difference. Call Deena 845-304-6668

STAFF MEMBERS FOR 2016-17: Limudei Kodesh Morah with Ivrit skills, Assistant Teachers Limudei Kodesh and Secular Studies (FT/PT), Assistant Rebbe (FT). Resumes: djacobi@halb.org.

MISC SPACE AVAILABLE FOR 3 YEAR OLD

Tutors desperately needed for Zichron Etel, a gemach providing free tutoring to those who cannot afford it. Now in Brooklyn and the Five Towns! Kindly visit our website at www.zichronetel.com

PLAYGROUP IN FAR ROCKAWAY. EXCELLENT MORAHS.

5TOWNS BOYS YESHIVA SEEKING ELEM TEACHERS. Exc working env’t, supportive admin, exc pay Lic’d & experienced preferred. Email resume to yeshivalooking@gmail.com PHYSICAL THERAPIST ASSISTANTS (PTA’S) & OCCUPATIONAL THERAPISTS ASSISTANTS (COTA’S) For 200+ bed Nursing Home in Queens. Must have Hospital or Nursing Home experience. Please email resume to promrehab@aol.com OVERNIGHT \WEEKEND COUNSELOR Responsible and exp’d staff to live in a beautiful group home & work 3 nights\ week 7pm - 9am. Staff are not req’d to remain awake after 11pm. Staff are req’d to work two weekends per month. Free rent & food. Stipend given as well. Great for college girl. For additional info contact Frayde Yudkowsky at 732.948.4636 or fyudkowsky@ evolvetreatment.com. Local F.T. Accounting Office Seeks P/T JR. ACCOUNTANT proficient in Q.B. knowledge of payroll tax, sales tax, business tax and individual taxes Qualified applicants should please e-mail resume to: 5towntaxoffice@gmail.com DRS HS FOR BOYS, WOODMERE NY SEEKS CHEMISTRY TEACHER (FT) FOR 2016-17. Resumes: gkirshenbaum@drshalb.org. WE ARE LOOKING TO HIRE A MARKETING/SALES SPECIALIST. Job will require your own car and being computer/internet savy. If you consider yourself a marketing professional, this is the position for you. Opportunity to make unlimited income potential, Don’t delay. Give us a call at 917-612-2300 GREAT OPPORTUNITY Looking for class B CDL DRIVER with clutch for a heimishe lumber co. Great pay, Call: 718-369-3141 Ext. 348

PLEASE CALL (516) 406-2980

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Classifieds

In the Heart of Jerusalem!! New! For sale, fabulous boutique building with 3 huge apartments available now, on quiet cul-de-sac in classic Jerusalem. Walking distance to the Kotel, Great Synagogue, parks. Garden apt. and massive penthouse available. High ceilings, sukkah porches, smart home, central AC, sub-floor heating, ultraluxe finishes. Specially priced for the holidays!! Phone: +972.523.477.428

www.usha3.com

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

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Your

Money

Back to School Tax Time By Allan Rolnick, CPA

ow’s the time of year when kids across America start heading back to school. New kindergartners eagerly don their snazziest big-kid outfits to pose for smiles and pictures. (The tears come after they get dropped off. We’re talking the mom and dad, of course.) New high-schoolers hit the snooze button and look forward to sleeping through morning classes. (Why yank teens out of bed so early when their younger siblings are up before sunrise without alarms?) And new college students can’t wait for the independence of campus life, because of all the fun – I mean, all they’re going to learn. You know who else is busy this time of year? That’s right, the tax man! Here are some random musings on some of the things that happen when back-to-school time meets tax time: • Many states offer sales tax holidays for back-to-school shopping. Ohio is typical: from Friday, August 5 through Sunday, August 7 (2016 only), there was no tax on clothing priced at $75 or less, school supplies priced at $20 or less, and school instructional materials priced at $20 or less. Of course, those backto-school sales tax holidays are just

like your old homework assignments — you can’t get credit if you miss the deadline! • Teachers are naturally on the front lines of shrinking school budgets, and they often chip in with their own money to fill the gaps. (Ironic, right, considering how gen-

gress finally gave our kids’ long-suffering teachers a break and made it permanent. • Student loan debt has topped a trillion dollars, and loan forgiveness programs have sprung up to help borrowers who go on to work for qualifying employers like govern-

Sure, eliminating, say, $40,000 would be welcome relief for a hardworking teacher or social worker. But what about the $10,000 tax bill that comes with it?

erously they get paid!) The Educator Expense Deduction lets teachers who work full-time at any accredited school deduct up to $250 they pay for books, school supplies, computer equipment and software, and even athletic equipment they buy on behalf of their students. For years, this has been one of those deductions Congress scrambled to extend every December — last year, Con-

ments and 501(c)(3) not-for-profits. But those service-minded borrowers may face an unexpected surprise: sometimes the amount forgiven is considered taxable income! Sure, eliminating, say, $40,000 would be welcome relief for a hardworking teacher or social worker. But what about the $10,000 tax bill that comes with it? • You probably wouldn’t think a

college degree would be tax-deductible. And there’s no deduction for training that prepares you for a new job. But if your graduate program is intended to improve or enhance your skills for your current job — or if your employer requires you to get an advanced degree — you may be able to deduct your tuition and other expenses. Let’s say you’re a tax lawyer, and you want to brush up on your skills. That $40,000 you drop on a Master of Laws degree may get you a raise and a deduction. (Now you know why tax lawyers drive Jaguars!) Here’s today’s lesson — pay attention, because there will be a quiz. When it comes to taxes, school is never out! The more you know and the more you plan, the less you’ll waste on taxes you don’t have to pay. Make sure you have a plan before exams and get any tutoring you need!

Allan J Rolnick is a CPA who has been in practice for over 30 yea rs in Queens, NY. He welcomes your comments and can be reached at 718-896-8715 or at allanjrcpa@aol.com.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

Khal Agudas Achim 200 Broadway â&#x20AC;˘ Lawrence, NY s"xc We invite the entire community to join us in celebrating the opening of

Kollel Agudas Achim of Lawrence and welcoming the members of the Kollel to our neighborhood Sunday, September 18th u"gaw kukt u"y Reception at 5:30 pm Program begins at 6:00 pm in our shul Welcoming remarks

Horav Leibel Rand t"yhka Rosh Kollel Lawrence/Far Rockaway Community Kollel

Pesichas Hakollel

The Novominsker Rebbe t"yhka Guest Speaker

Horav Elya Brudny t"yhka Rosh Yeshiva - Yeshivas Mir, Brooklyn, NY

Mincha at 6:50 pm

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SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Life C ach

What’s Value? By Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., CLC, SDS

o you get these coupons to save money. But do they ever save you money? Or do you wind up spending more than you ever planned to … on things you totally don’t need? How about this? They have this loyalists card at Bloomingdales. Once you spend $5,000 they give you $25 off of your next purchase. Seriously, you just gave them $5,000 and this is the bargain they are giving you! Let them keep their $25 and you keep your five thousand. I’m not saying I don’t like Bloomies. But if that’s how they treat their loyalist customers, then there’s just no hope of a bargain for their intermittent shoppers! I like stores like H&M and Forever 21. When you shop there you don’t feel so bad when your daughter says, about a minute to a month after going there, that she has “nothing to wear!” That’s part of being a teenager; clothing loses its appeal pretty quickly. But it’s a better deal for you, as a parent, when this happens at a price of $15.99 than at $215.99. I used to think that Forever 21 meant they carry clothing that makes you feel forever like you are 21. But now I get it that it’s basically a commitment to pricing that hovers forever at $21. That’s good too! It could even mean that it forever ap-

peals to the budget you have at 21! Either way goes, as long as my wallet likes it. Saving money is so much fun! The problem that arises is that too many deals really make you spend more than you planned to. For in-

ing machine and it gives you an extra candy bar or soda. Just like that – plop – an extra comes out. Now that really is exciting. But is this a bargain, really? Are you allowed to take it? Well, you can’t leave it there ‘cause someone else will take it

For instance, “Get one, get the other one at half price.” You just bought a second one you didn’t need.

stance, “Get one, get the other one at half price.” You just bought a second one you didn’t need. How about: “Buy one get the other one free.” Sounds perfect! So you take a shirt for $25 that you love. Then you look for another one to get free. That one costs $50. Well, boom! They charge you $50. Oh, ‘cause it’s the price of the higher priced shirt that you have to pay – the one you didn’t even want. No one explained that to you. You could have been perfectly happy with the $25 shirt! Here’s a true bargain. Once in a while in some large park or zoo or on the road, you find a broken vend-

anyway. You don’t want to get busy looking for the owner of the machine and suddenly making that the day’s activity. Figuring out if it’s stealing or not is too much of a toll on you to enjoy it even if you did take it! The bargain just became the high cost of guilt. Saving money is not as easy as you would think. The only way you can save money seems to be if you don’t use the money at all, and then what’s money good for? Here’s the glitch: in order to really feel you saved money, you must spend it! And that’s an oxymoron if I ever heard one. Best way to get value is to walk

up to something you were getting no matter what and find out it’s marked at half price. Then you really saved. So here’s a thought. Added value comes when the things we want anyway surprise us. Even when we are not talking money, there’s always a price to pay, whether it’s in time or energy or input. There are deals we can make to get better value, but they are never as good as when we are putting in because we want to and then get a spontaneous return on the investment. There’s great value in life. We are just there doing our thing and then someone – mate, boss, kid, friend – happens to come through for us in a way that’s a surprise to the upside. It’s like when you meet that halfprice sale. You expected no special deal but got a surprise to the upside. Sure, deals can be great. But every time we get an unexpected or unanticipated payoff in the natural course of doing something, we really feel the joy or pleasure of the gift that just came our way. So surprise someone today! Give them that unexpected value.

Rivki Rosenwald is a certified relationship counselor, and career and life coach. She can be contacted at 917-7052004 or rivki@rosenwalds.com

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

OUR NEWLY RENOVATED 5,000 SQ. FT. COCKTAIL HOUR ROOM

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AN 8,000 SQ. FT. GRAND BALLROOM WITH IMMENSE CEILINGS WILL SURELY TAKE YOUR BREATH AWAY!

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