Five Towns Jewish Home - 10-6-16 by The Jewish Home

October 7 — October 13, 2016

Distributed weekly in the Five Towns, Long Island, Queens & Brooklyn

Your Favorite Five Towns Family Newspaper

Pages 9, 10, 11, 13 & 23

Around the

Community

38 The Digital Citizenship Movement Educates Local Educators

Hon. Ron Goldman Addresses HAFTR High School

42 See page 2

Thoughts on Shabbat Shuva

The Golden Rule

Lip Service

Who Hurt Who?

Last Chance

Bobker on Yom Kippur: The Art of Prepentance

The Forest Cantor

Could Israel have Prevented the Yom Kippur War?

Battling the Skies in the Yom Kippur War

44 A Day of Chessed at SKA

– See page 3

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Dear Readers,

ver peek into the men’s section on Yom Kippur? It’s a sea of white figures shuckeling to the solemn and inspiring melodies that make up Yom Kippur davening. If you wouldn’t know where your husband is sitting, it’s easy to lose him in the snowy blur as all the kittels blend into one. On the most important day of the year, we have a custom for men to wear kittels over their clothing. I am sure there are many reasons for this minhag, but as I thought about it, I realized that a kittel is a symbol of so much more. On this holy day, when we beg Hashem to seal us in the Book of Life, we try to highlight our positive attributes and good deeds. But we know that during the year we have also transgressed and that there are many things that we want Hashem to overlook. In our effort to bury our many sins, we try to hide in the crowd and blend in with the rest of the community. In U’nesaneh Tokef, we remind ourselves that we are judged “kivnei maron.” There are a few explanations as to what it is exactly referring to, but each reference

points to the same thing: we all pass before Hashem one by one, individually scrutinized and sealed for – hopefully – a good life. It’s a sobering reminder. How many of us can withstand Hashem’s all-knowing magnifying glass? How many of us can survive when the Omnipotent reminds us of all our past misdeeds? So perhaps, in our own way, we are trying to become one with the klal, hoping that when we are judged as one Hashem will “overlook” our personal transgressions. We are showing Him that we are united, and that too is a zechus in itself. Indeed, when wearing the kittel, each person looks like the other. Rich, poor, young, old, yeshivish or not, we are all dressed in white. Our differences are hidden, and only our pureness of heart and our desire to be good are revealed. May this Yom Kippur be a meaningful day in which we can unite to beg Hashem for a shinas chaim for us and for all of klal Yisroel. Gmar chasima tova, Shoshana

Yitzy Halpern PUBLISHER

publisher@fivetownsjewishhome.com

Yosef Feinerman MANAGING EDITOR

ads@fivetownsjewishhome.com

Shoshana Soroka EDITOR

editor@fivetownsjewishhome.com

Nate Davis Editorial Assistant Nechama Wein Copy Editor Rachel Bergida Berish Edelman Mati Jacobovits Design & Production Gabe Solomon Distribution & Logistics P.O. BOX 266 Lawrence, NY 11559 Phone | 516-734-0858 Fax | 516-734-0857 Classifieds: Deadline Mondays 5PM classifieds@fivetownsjewishhome.com text 443-929-4003 The Jewish Home is an independent weekly magazine. Opinions expressed by writers are not neces sarily the opinions of the publisher or editor. The Jewish Home is not responsible for typographical errors, or for the kashrus of any product or business advertised within. The Jewish Home contains words of Torah. Please treat accordingly.

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OCTOBER 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Contents LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

COMMUNITY Readers’ Poll

Community Happenings

NEWS Global

National

Odd-but-True Stories

ISRAEL

Israel News

Could Israel have Prevented the Yom Kippur War? by Abe Rabinovich 74

Shimon Peres: A Controversial and Combative Leader

PEOPLE Battling the Skies in the Yom Kippur War by Avi Heiligman

104

Mastering Our Ego: Remembering Michelle Rubinstein

106

YOM KIPPUR Shabbat Shuva by Rabbi Berel Wein

The Golden Rule by Rabbi Jonathan Gewirtz

Lip Service by Eytan Kobre

Who Hurt Who? by Rabbi YY Rubinstein

Last Chance by Rabbi Dr. Naphtali Hoff 64 Bobker on Yom Kippur: The Art of Prepentance 66

The Forest Cantor by Rabbi Yerachmiel Tilles

Bridging the Gap by Larry Domnitch

Dear Editor, To Avi Heiligman: Being a Jewish submarine veteran sailor in the U.S. Navy (Vietnam era) I want to thank you for your submarine series in The Jewish Home. Well done. Michael Zemser

Dear Editor, I read the article on David Gurfein with interest. He seems like a man of action, someone who would really be qualified to make a difference. But despite the United States’ history of electing war heroes to the highest office in the land – think George Washington, JFK, Teddy Roosevelt, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Ulysses S. Grant, Andrew Jackson (31 out of 44 presidents were war heroes) – since the election of George H. W. Bush, the Oval Office has not been occupied with men who fought with their heart and souls for our country. Are soldiers no longer seen in the esteem as they once were? Or are we jaded Americans who prefer to be wowed by bombastic promises and wooed by implausible lies instead of impressed with a remarkable track record?

It’s time to put the country back in the hands of those who have shown their loyalty and love for our nation. Sincerely, Ephraim S.

Dear Editor, Your dating column hit home this week and I would like to reach out to the heartbroken mother and offer a few words of advice. I too have a wonderful, bright child who is a strong, independent thinker. He has always been one to explore and never truly wanted our advice. When it came to shidduchim he also wanted to do things on his own and we felt like we didn’t have a choice but to allow him to make his own decisions. That being said, my son is now happily married but it was not easy. He married a girl who is similar to him in temperament, someone who we felt wouldn’t be the easiest or best spouse for him. But we kept our mouths shut. And I know that a few months into their marriage, they both realized that the only way to go on would be to get therapists Continued on page 12

HEALTH & FITNESS Some Necessary Changes by Deb Hirschhorn, PhD

FOOD & LEISURE The Aussie Gourmet: Break-the-Fast Toasts

LIFESTYLES Dating Dialogue, Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW Eat, Drink and Be Merry by Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., CLC, SDS

88 118

HUMOR Centerfold Uncle Moishy Fun Page

52 108

POLITICAL CROSSFIRE Notable Quotes

Out of His Depth, Donald Trump Clings to Deception by Michael Gerson

100

When Facts, Logic and History Don’t Matter by Charles Krauthammer

102

CLASSIFIEDS

Do you “shlug kaparos” with chickens or money?

110

36 64

Chickens

Money

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 7, 2016

OCTOBER 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Sale Dates: October 9th - 14th 2016

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The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 7, 2016

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OCTOBER 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Recognizing that police these days are apprehensive, I put both of my hands on the steering wheel when the cop approached. When he asked me for my registration, I said, “Officer, it is in my glove compartment,” before reaching over to get it. When he asked me if I knew why I was pulled over, I acknowledged that I went through the stop sign. I wasn’t trying to get out of the ticket, I knew I didn’t fully stop at the stop sign and I figured I might as well make a kiddush Hashem once I’m getting a ticket anyways. The police officer looked at my documents and then handed them back to me. He said, “Thanks for being such a gentleman; try to remember to come to a full stop at stop signs.” I almost felt better about the entire interaction than I did about escaping a moving violation ticket. All I did was be a mensch. I wasn’t trying to sweet talk him into not giving me a ticket. What’s the point? Within our neighborhood we should try to be extra kind to the police. They protect us and are there for us. Yes, at times they give us tickets and it may be annoying, but ultimately they have our backs. Sincerely, Dovid Y.

Views expressed on the Letters to the Editor page do not necessarily reflect the views of The Jewish Home.

Continued from 8

involved in their marriage. After many, many months of work on both their ends, they are both closer than ever. But it was hard work and many other couples would not have chosen to go that route. Thankfully for my son and daughter-in-law all has ended well.

My advice to the mother in this situation is to somehow find a way to insert yourself into your daughter’s shidduchim decisions. It may be hard, she may kick and scream, but it is better to voice your concerns before marriage than to say “I told you so” later on. A Reader

Dear Editor, Because the police get such a bad rap these days, I want to let you know about a very nice interaction that I recently had with a Nassau County police officer. I got pulled over for going through a stop sign after I slowed down to a roll but didn’t come to a full stop.

Please send all correspondence to: editor @fivetowns jewishhome.com.

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 7, 2016

The Week In News

New Facts Lead to Russia in MH17 Tragedy

Two years ago, Malaysia Airlines flight MH17 was tragically shot down over Ukraine with 298 people on board. Now, a Dutch-led investigation has concluded that the Russian backed separatists brought in the powerful surface-to-air missile from Russia that same night. The report

not only confirms once again that Russia was behind the deployment of the missile system, but also documents the Russian government’s elaborate cover-up. Through many avenues, including cellphone records, social media, and witness accounts, the prosecutors have outlined Russia’s role in an organized timeline. Specific names were not included in the account and they did not say that actual Russian soldiers were involved. Upon the announcement of their findings, which took place in the Netherlands, the investigators did say that they would be naming suspects when they bring criminal indictments. Russia has repeatedly denied any involvement in the attack. In anticipation of the report, Dmitri S. Peskov, spokesman for President Vladimir Putin, issued a statement blasting the amount of speculation that has been presented as fact. “This whole story, unfortunately, is couched in a huge amount of speculation, unqualified and unprofessional information,” Mr. Peskov said. “There are irrefutable facts. In this case, it is important to draw conclusions with due account of the latest published information, that is, the primary data from radars that detected every airborne object that

could take off or be in the airspace above militia-controlled territory.” The radar images, released by the Russian military, of course, show nothing near the airliner, Mr. Peskov said. “If any missile had existed, it could have been fired only from another territory. I do not say which exact territory it could be. It is specialists’ business.” Many have pointed out that the radar images that were released this week contradict the images that were showed by Russian officials two years ago. The original images show two dots – one for the airliner and one for the Ukrainian fighter jet that the Kremlin suggested could have shot it down. The investigators said that Russia has not yet responded to their requests to have the “primary original radar data.” Many experts are speculating that a more formal trial process will begin in the months that follow. The plane was shot down during a time of intense fighting between Ukrainian forces and Russian-backed rebels in Ukraine. A large group of the passengers who were killed in the explosion were Dutch. The disaster has widened the rift that was already growing between Russia and Western powers.

Met Sued over WWII Picasso Sale

A $100 million lawsuit has been filed against the Metropolitan Museum of Art over a Picasso sold under duress right before the Holocaust. The suit was filed this week in Manhattan Federal Court by a great-grandniece of Paul Leffmann. Leffmann was a German industrialist who sold “The Actor” for $12,000 to fund his escape from the Nazi-allied Mussolini regime.

OCTOBER 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

them,” arguing that Nazi persecution was not a factor in the sale. The suit seeks either $100 million in compensation or the return of the painting.

A Blessing of Long Life

Paul Leffmann, who saw the writing on the wall, had already escaped Germany a year earlier. When he needed more money to get to Switzerland in 1938, he sold the painting from Picasso’s Rose Period in 1904 and 1905 to two art dealers. The Leffmanns settled in Zurich after the war and are buried there.

The Met bought the painting in 1952 and until 2011 had not even acknowledged that Leffmann had ever owned the piece. The suit claims that the museum failed to properly investigate the painting’s origins and that it must be returned. “We believe the painting is tainted by the history of the Holocaust, and the Leffmanns,

given the circumstances under which they sold it, never lost title,” a lawyer said in a statement The Met said in a statement that while it “understands and sympathizes deeply with the losses that Paul and Alice Leffmann endured during the Nazi era, it firmly believes that this painting was not among

It’s safe to say that the fountain of youth doesn’t exist but there are countries where a long life isn’t uncommon. Worldwide, the global average life expectancy was 71.4 years old for 2015, according to the World Health Organization. Over the last decade and a half, the world’s average life expectancy increased by around five years. CIA’s World Factbook took those numbers and created a ranking for life expectancy in 224 countries. Each region’s diseases, mental health, substance abuse, violence, nutrition, drinking water, road traffic injuries, health, environmental pollution, vaccines, and more were considered. Around the world, women are expected to live longer than men: females lived around 73 years; men only stayed on this earth for approximately 69.1 years. In the Americas, women lived an average 79.9 years, but males had an average life expectancy of 74. The United States did not fare that well in terms of lifespan – we came in 43rd, with a life expectancy average of 79.68 years. The citizens of Monaco are expected to live the longest in the world – the average lifespan there is 89.52 years. The unfortunate citizens of Chad in Northern Central Africa had the shortest expected age of just 49.81 years old. According to WHO, people across the continent of Africa live for an average of 60 years overall. Where should you head if you want to drink the elixir of long life? The countries with the longest ex-

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 7, 2016

Moreinu Hagaon Hagadol

Harav

Chaim Kanievsky Shlita Will pray fervently For all the donors of Vaad Harabanim

Every Day Of Aseres Yemei Teshuvah After Reciting All The

And Also At

Ne'ilah

Tehillim

That they should be sealed for chaim tovim, for gezeiros tovos, yeshu’os v’nechamos, for health, for nachas from all their offspring, for abundant and easy parnassah, and for growth in Torah and yiras Shamayim

Your Kapparos

to Vaad Harabanim for a good year Zeh chalifasi, zeh temurasi, zeh kaparasi. This money will go for the tzedakah of the Gedolei Hador shlita – Vaad Harabanim l’Inyanei Tzedaka b’Eretz Hakodesh, and I will go into a good long life and peace.

‫ זֶ ה ַה ֶּכ ֶסף‬.‫ זֶ ה ַּכ ּ ָפ ָר ִתי‬.‫ זֶ ה ְּתמו ָּר ִתי‬.‫זֶ ה ֲחלִ ָיפ ִתי‬ ‫ וַ ַעד‬,‫יט"א‬ ָ ִ‫יֵ ֵל ְך ַעבוּר ַה ְצ ָד ָקה ׁ ֶשל גְ דוֹ ֵלי ַהדוֹ ר ְשל‬ ‫ וַ ֲאנִ י ֶא ָּכנֵ ס‬,‫ָה ַר ָ ּבנִ ים לְ ִענְ יָ נֵ י ְצ ָד ָקה ְ ּב ֶא ֶרץ ַהקוֹ ֶדש‬ :‫וְ ֵא ֵל ְך לְ ַח ִ ּיים טוֹ ִבים ֲארוּכִ ים וּלְ ׁ ָשלוֹ ם‬

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OCTOBER 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

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The Great Week of China

vision, the main state television network, 14.4 million people traveled by train on Saturday, the first day of the holiday week, with an additional 500 trains in service. That is 15% less than this same time last year. There were close to a million passengers, 960,000 to be exact, who traveled by plane – a 6.4% increase since 2015. Many people opted for road trips. The government has a holiday gift for travelers – tolls are free on roads during the week-long holiday. Of course this promotes driving and inevitably causes gridlock on the country’s highways. Police officers used drones to help monitor traffic conditions. According to the Ministry of Public Security, 214,000 officers were on the roads on Saturday. There is a tremendous market for domestic tourism within China particularly during the Golden Week. Purportedly this week alone generates more revenue than any other week of the year. Last year, Chinese tourists collectively traveled on four billion domestic trips.

Israeli Kids Tip the Scales

Who will live...? It also depends on us

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EFRAT, under the leadership of Dr. Eli Schussheim, helps Jewish mothers make the choice to keep their pregnancy and have their baby. In this way EFRAT establishes families and builds Am Yisrael. Thanks to EFRAT’s donors over 67,000 Neshamos were saved through their crucial support. Many of theses babies are now parents of their own children! When Maran HaGaon HaRav Chaim Kanievsky, Shlita heard about this, he was deeply moved. He wrote: “It is a tremendous Mitzvah to support this cause as much as one is able.”

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China is the world’s most populated nation with 1.4 billion residents. Each year, the country kicks off its holiday season on October 1. The annual Golden Week holiday in China is a celebration of the Communist founding of the People’s Republic in 1949. This year is expected to be a record breaker for number of people traveling by highway, rail, and air. People’s Daily, the Communist Party newspaper, said 589 million people are expected to travel throughout the week. While this may mean a lot of waiting time for travelers, it is a boon for the economy. Travel drives consumer spending. In Beijing, the Forbidden City attraction sold 20,000 tickets within two hours on Sunday, which is about 166 tickets a minute. According to China Central Tele-

Our Israeli readers may want to read this and think twice before sending their kids to school with Nutella sandwiches for lunch. The World Health Organization is coming out with a report that shows that Israel is in second place for overweight persons compared to other European countries. When children are counted, Israel is the third most overweight country in the entire world. The findings of the Commission on Ending Childhood Obesity report are not officially released for another

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 7, 2016

couple of weeks, but its interim findings were shared with medical professionals a little early. The report monitors children’s health around the globe. A whopping 28.8 percent – that’s over 500,000! – of Israelis under the age of 18 are overweight. According to the report’s forecasts, that number is likely to jump to 50 percent in just 8 years. The only country that Israel trails in childhood obesity is…you guessed it…the United States of America. While 12.6 percent of young Sabras are obese, an astonishing 12.9 percent of underage Americans qualify. To allow for a little perspective, the European average is 7.4 percent. In the overweight category, the European average is 23 percent. Obesity is considered by many health professionals to be the most serious epidemic in recent years. “This is the biggest health problem in the Western world. It’s a ticking time bomb, with many health implications even in the present, and we aren’t doing enough,” warned Dr. Gal Dubnov-Raz, a senior doctor and manager of the Sport, Nutrition and Healthy Living Clinic at Sheba Medical Center. “The simple reason for this is that children are taking in

more calories than they are expending. According to WHO studies, children eat less healthily in most Western countries, they’re less active and they drink more sugary drinks.” Dubnov-Raz also says there is less emphasis placed on physical exercise in Israel. “There are countries with daily sports classes, but in Israel, there are places that have a class just once per week. In addition, we don’t talk about proper and healthy nutrition, and even though the Ministry of Health makes efforts, it’s too little too late.” The effects of obesity are very serious. Overweight and obese children can suffer from prolonged headaches, diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, joint and muscle pains, and breathing problems during sleep that are likely to reduce their alertness and concentration during class. “In many cases, these children have more depression and low moods, low body image, and they suffer from a lack of friends,” said Dubnov-Raz. Dubnov-Raz added that “to prevent the epidemic, you need to change habits, teach kids to eat healthier and to exercise.”

Tel Aviv Honored Again

As TJH has previously reported, Tel Aviv has been put on many impressive lists lately. The city was named one of the “best ten coastal cities in the world” by National Geographic, “one of the five best culinary cities in the world” by Conde Nast Traveler, and “Europe’s innovation center” by the Wall Street Journal. So what’s keeping you?

Many do not need a subscription to Forbes magazine to know this, but the international finance magazine has officially ranked Tel Aviv among the most beautiful destinations in the world. According to the “travel community’s rating,” the beachfront city is the world’s 15th most beautiful destination. The top three spots went to New York, Venice and Los Angeles. Each of the competing cities was photographed by a local photographer. Sivan Askayo, who presented Tel Aviv, called the city a place whose main attraction is “not necessarily cafes and restaurants, but people who love the good life.”

More Power Struggles between Abbas and Hamas

Mahmoud Abbas’s claim at the UN’s General Assembly that the PLO is the only legitimate representative

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the leadership. Of course, their main concern is that the terror groups Hamas and Islamic Jihad be allowed to gain even more control in the region.

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As part of the recent reconciliation agreement that was signed between Israel and Turkey, Israel just paid $20 million in compensation for the 2010 Mavi Marmara flotilla incident. The controversial funds were deposited in the Turkish Justice Ministry’s bank account. After months of negotiations, the finalized agreement removed all sanctions between the two countries, normalized relations, and increased the level of diplomatic exchange. The $20 million in compensation will go to the families of the 10 Turkish Islamists who were killed during the highly publicized raid on the Mavi Marmara. The agreement was announced by both Turkish and Israeli officials simultaneously in Ankara and Rome on June 27. Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan put his signature on the document earlier this month. After the money was paid, a Turkish official said that the name of Turkey’s new ambassador to Israel will be announced in “one week or 10 days.” Israel is expected to announce its ambassador to Turkey somewhere in that timeframe as well.

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of the Palestinian people is coming under heavy fire from many sides, in particular, Hamas-affiliated Palestinians who are speaking out against Abbas’s assertions. Dr. Faiz Abu Shamala has publicly challenged the PLO’s ability to lead and represent the Palestinians. Abu Shamala is a prominent journal-

ist in the Falastin, Hamas’s official newspaper. “How can we believe that the PLO is the only legitimate face of the millions of Palestinians that live in Jordan and have Jordanian passports?” Shamala queried. He added, “With what happened to the Palestinians that live in Jordan and carry Jordanian passports,

how can the PLO call itself a legitimate representative?” He writes that Abbas and the PLO wish to remove the democratic right of the Palestinians to elect their own leadership. Hamas has reportedly been pressuring the PLO for some structure changes that will allow for other factions of the Palestinian people to join

Iron Dome Batteries Reportedly Sold The country of about 9 million that lies at the crossroads of Southwest Asia and Southeastern Europe will be buying Iron Dome batteries from Israel, its regional ally. According to as-of-yet unconfirmed reports,

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 7, 2016

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THE DEPARTMENT OF SYNAGOGUE AND COMMUNITY SERVICES OF THE ORTHODOX UNION PRESENTS A COMMUNITY WEEKEND HOSTING:

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Armenia and Azerbaijan have fought for years over the Nagorno-Karabakh territory, which technically belongs to Azerbaijan but is ruled by Armenian separatists. The fighting intensified this year, after Armenian forces claimed Azerbaijan used Israeli-made kamikaze drones to kill a bus of several Armenians “volunteers.” Azerbaijan is Israel’s largest oil supplier. They receive Israeli arms as part of their compensation. In February 2012, a $1.4 billion defense deal was signed between the two countries which focused on missile defense systems and drones.

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Spanish Court Declares BDS Illegal

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in Spain. ACOM’s president Angel Mas recently told The Jerusalem Post that the call for a boycott against Israel is part of a “growing trend in Spain among local municipalities.” According to Mas, this past year alone saw some 60 municipalities declare a boycott of Israel – some knowingly while others are misled into declaring their cities “Free of Israeli Apartheid” by anti-Israel activists. With each declaration, ACOM has provided a first line of defense, bringing forth legal action against each and every municipality that has declared a boycott. “We have to create the opposite deterrence, letting them know that there are consequences for their actions,” Mas said, “Otherwise they [BDS] will win.” ACOM filed legal action against the Langreo City Council when they initially declared the boycott and the Court Number 4 of Oviedo ruled in its favor, declaring the municipality’s actions against Israel illegal. The city council in turn appealed to the High Court, which rejected the motion to overturn the original decision. According to ACOM, the High Court upheld “that the city council lacks competencies to decree an international boycott and to alter the European Directive and the national law on public procurement. In addition the High Court expands on the blatant unconstitutional discrimination and lack of neutrality that such a boycott would represent.” This ruling provides an historic achievement for the Spanish pro-Israel lobby group, as the High Court effectively legitimized its anti-boycott legal initiatives. According to ACOM, the ruling further expanded a previous constitutional doctrine on the matter that allowed any Jewish individual to sue for defamation and allowing the pro-Israel group to take legal action based on discrimination or slander against Israelis.

A Sweet and Happy New Year

‫לרפואת חנה בלומא‬ ‫בת שיינדל‬ ‫בתושח״י‬

It’s the first time Spain’s High Court has weighed in and it’s a blow to the BDS movement. Last week, a Spanish High Court of the Asturias region upheld a decision, declaring a Langreo City Council agreement to boycott Israel illegal. This marks the first time that a High Court in Spain has issued a judgment relating to BDS, thanks to the legal actions brought forth by ACOM, a pro-Israel lobby group working to combat BDS

Pilot Killed in IAF Crash On Wednesday evening, an Israeli Air Force pilot died during a crash landing of a F-161 fighter jet in southern Israel. The aircraft’s navigator ejected from the plane and was evacuated to hospital after sustaining light injuries.

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 7, 2016

The jet, which was landing at Ramon air force base in the Negev, caught fire when returning from operational activity. The IAF conducted multiple air strikes on Wednesday on the Gaza Strip after a rocket was fired on the Israeli town of Sderot.

Western countries will flow from the area and create new security threats. ”There will be a terrorist diaspora sometime in the next two to five years like we’ve never seen before,” Comey warned. Let’s hope he is wrong. Within the past year, 63 people have been killed by Islamic terrorists on U.S. soil.

7 Afghan Trainees Missing in U.S. In July 2013, an F-16I on a training flight crashed in the Mediterranean Sea, some 50 km off the coast of the Gaza Strip. The two-seater fighter jet was taking part in a training exercise in which it attempted an interception drill. In that incident, the plane’s pilot, an IAF flight instructor, and navigator, who was being trained, safely ejected from the aircraft and parachuted to the sea before being rescued.

FBI Director Warns of Future Threat

James Comey, the Director of the FBI, is warning that the ongoing radical Islamic terrorist culture war is going to get worse. While Comey was testifying in front of Congress last week he said that there is much to be concerned about even after ISIS is destroyed. When Iraq and Syria are emptied of the Islamic State, Comey said, there will be more terror to fill that void. Comey’s fear is that once the caliphate is “crushed” – and he promises that is a possibility – militants from

The Pentagon has confirmed that in the past month seven Afghan students who were training at U.S. military facilities have disappeared. The revelation has sparked fears, especially amid the recent terror attacks in New York, New Jersey, and Minnesota. Four of the students were considered AWOL – absent without leave – from international military student programs over the Labor Day weekend. AWOL is declared when a student is absent from scheduled activities for more than 24 hours without proper authorization. Another three students went missing during the September 17-18 weekend as the terror attacks were happening. Of the four who went missing on Labor Day, two left from Fort Benning in Georgia, one from Fort Lee in Virginia, and one from a Little Rock, Arkansas Army facility. The next three to disappear were stationed at Fort Leonard Wood in Missouri and Fort Gordon in Georgia. According to news reports, officials have located two of the missing Afghans. Their disappearance during the terror attacks is considered coincidental as of now. Whenever a student goes AWOL, the International Military Student Office (IMSO) alerts the Department of Homeland Security’s Immigration and Customs Enforcement. Sarah Rodriguez, a spokesperson for ICE, related that the missing Afghans are being pursued. “It is important

OCTOBER 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

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to note that the majority of Afghans who train in the U.S. successfully complete their training and return to their country. However, there have been occasions where IMSOs have learned of plans to go AWOL. In some of those cases, those students have been returned immediately to their country,” Evans said.

You’ve Got (Open) Mail Recently it was revealed that Yahoo Inc. specially built a custom software program to automatically search all of its users’ incoming emails for specific information requested by

U.S. intelligence officials. According to individuals familiar with this matter, the company was simply complying with a classified U.S. government demand. The exact information being sought was not revealed but the former employees who brought this incident to light claim that the NSA or FBI asked Yahoo to search for a set

According to two of the former employees, the bid to search Yahoo Mail accounts came in the form of a classified edict sent to the company’s legal team. Yahoo Chief Executive Marissa Mayer’s decided to obey the edict without conferring with security personnel at the company. This led to tension and strong disagreements amongst senior executives. Eventually Chief Information Security Officer Alex Stamos discovered the program and upon hearing it was authorized by Mayer resigned. He said that he felt the decision negatively affected users’ security. He also pointed out that due to a programming flaw, hackers could access the stored emails. Stamos is currently a high ranking security expert at Facebook Inc. “Yahoo is a law abiding company and complies with the laws of the United States,” the company said in a brief statement in response to Reuters’ questions about the demand. When approached, the NSA referred questions to the Office of the Director of National Intelligence, which obviously declined to comment. Now many are wondering whether other email providers secretly engaged in similar activity with intelligence officials. This is the first report of an internet company agreeing to scan millions of emails in real time. Previously companies had scanned stored messages or a small number of accounts at a time. Legally, Yahoo is obligated to oblige the request of NSA and FBI officials, according to the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act. The laws, amended in 2008, declare that U.S. phone and Internet companies can ask a provider to hand over customer data for national security. But many say that Yahoo should have attempted to fight the request because of the extent of the order and the requirement to compose a special program to search all customers’ emails in transit. Earlier this year after the terrorist attack in San Bernardino, Apple Inc. argued that it should not be required to write a program to break into the encrypted iPhone used by the terrorist. The FBI

Jewish Home | OCTOBER 7,2016 2016 The The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 29,

G. Lerner,the a key the probe. dropped casefigure after itinunlocked the Lerner was the Former IRS phone with the help of a thirdDirecparty, tor ofprecedent Tax Exempt Organizations. so no was set. She “It hasisrepeatedly refused to testify deeply disappointing that about her role in the scandal, Yahoo declined to challengeeventhis tually being labeled inorder, Contempt of sweeping surveillance because Congress. Koskinen noted during the customers are counting on technolhearing that he to had never Lois ogy companies stand upmet to novel Lerner, who departed the IRS before spying demands in court,” Patrick his arrival. Toomey, an attorney with the AmerInitially Koskinen had told ican Civil Liberties Union, said lawin a makers that everything was being statement. preserved and hisdefended staffers couldn’t Many others Yahoo’s find any backup tapes. However, decision and supported their complishortly inspector general inance forafter, the sake of national security. vestigators located many of the Preventing a massive terrorist attack tapes, notsnooping before more trumpsthough a little into than your 400 were erased despite a subpoena email. for their contents. Perhaps terrorists will have to re“What really makes mad sort to carrier pigeons whenme planning about this whole sorry episode is that their next attack. the IRS subpoenas information from taxpayers all the time and if the average taxpayer exercised the same lack of cooperation that the IRS displayed in this matter, that taxpayer would be in a world of trouble,” Rep. Steve Chabot, an Ohio Republican, pointed out. Whether or not these were impeachable offenses was not officially resolved by the end of the hearing. Members of the Committee have five additional days to submit questions to Koskinen and the IRS. To date, the IRS has spent more than $20 million and 160,000 hours to collect and review 1.3 million pages of documents related to the six investigations into the tax exempt in organization Interested joining inscandal. the upcoming retreat for Columbia University students? They’d love for you to attend. One problem, though. For those of you who are reading this and are white, you’ll have to spend your time elsewhere. The “Students of Color Leadership Retreat 2016,” slated for November 12 at New York City’s YMCA Camp, bills itself as “an intensive weekend of personal development, empowerment and community building” for students at the Ivy League university and all-women’s Barnard College. But it’s not for everyone. The retreat is only for those who “identify themselves as a person of color as a Last year 3.5 million Americans primary identity,” Columbia’s webmade it over the edge – the poverty site adds. edge. According to census data reAccording to Melinda Aquino, asleased this month, more than seven sociate dean of multicultural affairs, years after the recession ended it “The Students of Color Leadership is finally starting to look better for Retreat is a longstanding annual workers. Employers are beginning to program for undergraduates at Cocreate more jobs in the hopes of betlumbia and Barnard. The program, ter business, particularly among rewhich is geared towards any student tail, restaurants and hotels. They are who self-identifies as a student of offering higher wages in an effort to

White-Only Retreat at Columbia

Americans Kicking Poverty to the Curb

attract workers and inactivities order to color, better provides structured meet higher minimum wage requireand guided exercises that enable ments participants to build community and “It all togetherto ateffect the same reflect on came their abilities postime,” explained Diane Swonk, an itive change within their own lives, independent business economist in within student organizations, within Chicago. “Lots of employment and the Columbia University community, wages gains,society particularly in the lowand within at large,” Aquino est-paying end of the jobs spectrum, explained. combined with of minimum-wage The Office Multicultural inAfcreases that started to hit some fairs offers other programs forvery “all large population areas.” students interested in diversity and There was a steady decline in identity.” poverty rates amongst all groups. African-Americans and Hispanics, who account for more than 45% of those below the poverty line of $24,300 for a family of four in most states, showed the greatest improvement. The poverty rate declined in 23 states last year, with Vermont leading the way. While the rest didn’t show a decline, they didn’t show an increase either and remained the same. During the tough times, government funded programs like Social Security, the earned-income tax credit, and food stamps helped impoverished Americans survive. BeThe2014 coming election season tween and 2015 there were 2.9 has been heavily by the million more jobsdominated created, helping Trump-vs-Hillary showdown. But the millions of unemployed individuals control of the senate is a veryincomes importto start earning respectable ant part thatpart-time is not to be overlooked. and many workers were Democratic ableThe to increase their Senatorial time on theCamjob. paign Committee has pulled its ad Overall wages, adjusted for inflation, time in the increased as states well. of Florida, Illinois and“Another Wisconsin. In two of those hidden benefit wasstates low– prices Illinoisatand Wisconsin – they are er the pump,” Swonk added. not advertising anymore because they “People who couldn’t afford the combelieve the could Democratic candidates mute before now afford to achaveathem lockedwage up. job.” In Florida, Recept minimum publican Marco is most While Sen. this is newsRubio to celebrate, likelyingoing to win, the about DSCC keep mind that thereand are still is trying to Americans save some money not 43 million – morebythan purchasing in the Sunshine State. 14 million ofads them children –who are leaves five states that will stillThat officially classified as poor. likely decide who controls the senate next year: Indiana, Nevada, New Hampshire, North Carolina and Pennsylvania. Of those, only Nevada is currently Democratic. Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D) retired this year and his seat is open for the Arnold Palmer was than taking. If Democrats holdmore onto Nevajust inspiration for of thethe perfect iced da, they need two remaining tea; wasfor a control, golf legend who many fourhe seats if Hillary wins. called the King Golf. If she loses, theyof will needFrom three2007 more to 2015 Palmer participated in the seats. game ceremonially. He was the honThe other four states are harder to orary starter theaMasters predict. Eachofhas chance Tournaof swayment, one of theThe fourmain major chaming either way. question, pionships in professional one could argue, is Nevada, golf. and asOn of Sunday, the US Golf now, Democrats are Association not looking antoo nounced theBattle deathBorn of beloved hot in the State. Arnold When Palmer, 87.the current polls, Rep. Joe averaging After to play golf at age Heck (R)learning leads former state Attorney 4 in Latrobe, Pennsylvania, by his fa-

The Senate State of the Race

He was a Golf Legend

23 31

OCTOBER 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

General Catherine Cortez Masto by 3.5 points. In the eleven polls that have been conducted in the past five months, nine have given Heck the lead. If Heck pulls it off, a Democratic Senate is much less likely. Democrats would need three of the remaining four seats if Hillary wins, and they must sweep all four if Trump is elected. Of course, in the next five weeks, anything can happen. Though the presidential campaigns will gain the most media coverage, keep your eyes on these five states – Nevada in particular – for a big indicator of how the political landscape will look over the next two years.

The Rise and Fall of Personal Income After a few hard years, the economy in the U.S. seems to be moving in the right direction. In 2014, more workers were able to find jobs, resulting in the workforce earning 2.9% more income than in 2013. While the overall income increased, that doesn’t mean that every city showed an increase. In fact, some cities even showed a decrease. Some cities’ income rose as much as 8.1%, like in Odessa, Texas, while other cities incomes fell by as much as 3.9%, as in Danville, Illinois.

The industries that contributed the most to the income pool were educational, health, social service, the arts, entertainment, science, and construction. Total personal income is income earned by an area’s workforce, as such there is almost a direct correlation between cities that had a growing workforce and a rise in total income. Urban areas that had a greater number of salaried workers in 2014 than in 2013 were far more likely to report higher total income than the year before. Of the 25 cities where total income increased the most, 19 showed a rapidly growing workforce;

in fact, their rate of growth was faster than the pace of the overall national workforce. Correspondingly, all of the 25 cities where income grew slowly or declined showed below-average or declining employment levels. Which cities boasted the highest rise in personal income growth? Here are the top ten: 1. Odessa, TX (8.1%) 2. Hanford-Corcoran, CA (7.0%) 3. Midland, TX (7.0%) 4. Myrtle Beach-Conway-North Myrtle Beach, SC-NC (6.0%) 5. Salem, OR (5.8%) 6. Beaumont-Port Arthur, TX (5.6%) 7. Lake Charles, LA (5.4%) 8. Yakima, WA (5.4%) 9. Mount Vernon-Anacortes, WA (5.3%) 10. Carson City, NV (5.3%) In these areas, though, personal income growth declined: 1. Danville, IL (-3.9%) 2. Beckley, WV (-3.3%) 3. Bloomington, IL (-3.2%) 4. Grand Forks, ND-MN (-1.4%) 5. Peoria, IL (-1.1%) 6. Yuma, AZ (-1.1%) 7. Pine Bluff, AR (-0.9%) 8. Kankakee, IL (-0.9%) 9. Grand Island, NE (-0.5%) 10. Utica-Rome, NY (-0.4%)

Obamacare for Illegals Too?

to offer health insurance through the exchange to illegals. Currently, the Affordable Care Act does not allow illegal immigrants to purchase insurance in the market. California’s healthcare exchange generated an official request from Obamacare regulations in a Sept. 30 letter to Health and Human Services Secretary Sylvia Burwell. Covered California’s Executive Director Peter Lee said that the Affordable Care Act has been “tremendously successful” in the state and has significantly changed the number of uninsured residents. “While millions of Californians have benefitted from coverage purchased through the Covered California marketplace, certain individuals are prohibited from buying insurance through our state marketplace due to their immigration status,” Lee wrote. In June, Gov. Jerry Brown signed a bill that allowed the state to apply for a federal waiver to open Covered California to illegal immigrants living in California. If the Obama administration approves the waiver, unauthorized residents will be offered California Qualified Health Plans and it would not be subsidized. Since its conception, the Affordable Care Act drew many critics who objected to the plan, saying it is the latest sign the federal government misrepresented the purpose of the law. “This is the first step in another misrepresentation of the Affordable Care Act,” Ira Mehlman, a spokesman for the Federation for American Immigration Reform told US News & World Report in June. “It was sold to the American people on the fact that you wouldn’t have to subsidize health care for illegal immigrants.”

Christie and Cuomo in Cahoots There are approximately 2.8 million illegal immigrants living in California, the largest number in the U.S. California itself represents 24.7% of the overall estimated unauthorized immigrant population in the country, which was 11.4 million in 2012. In an attempt to leave no individual behind, the state recently requested that Obamacare extend to include these individuals. If approved it would make California the first state

There’s a new accusation in the September and October 2013 suspicious closing of the George Washington Bridge. Supposedly Governor of New Jersey Chris Christie and New York Governor Andrew Cuomo were in cahoots in trying to cover up the incident dubbed “Bridgegate.” The two agreed to issue a report falsely explaining the closings as a traffic study. This was an attempt to shut down the scandal. Cuomo told the executive director of the Port Authority of New

York and New Jersey to “stand down” in trying to publicly blame the lane closings on Christie and his associates. It seemed that he was suggesting that everything wait until Christie had won re-election in November 2013. Until now Christie and Cuomo denied any exchange and maintained that they were not involved in the closure directly in any way. According to the recent testimony, the two governors agreed that Christie administration officials would write the report about the traffic study and that the Port Authority’s executive director, Patrick J. Foye, would sign off on it. Foye ordered the lanes reopened as soon as he learned about the shutdown, about four days after it began. One of his staff members leaked this detail to the press and stated that the traffic study was false. This recent revelation was provided by David Wildstein who testified in federal court last Thursday. Wildstein served as the former Christie administration official at the Port Authority and is being held largely responsible for the intentional bridge closing.

“My understanding at the time was that this would put an end to this issue,” Mr. Wildstein testified, referring to the report by the two governors. “Pat Foye would sign off on a false report?” a defense lawyer, Michael Critchely, asked him. “Yes, sir, that was my understanding,” Mr. Wildstein responded. “And that was a result of conversations with Cuomo and Christie?” Mr. Critchely queried. “Yes, sir,” Mr. Wildstein said. Wildstein is cooperating with federal prosecutors in the trial of two former Christie aides who allegedly planned the whole event in an attempt to punish the mayor of Fort Lee for declining to endorse Christie’s re-election. Bridget Anne Kelly, a former deputy chief of staff to Christie, and Bill Baroni, Christie’s top staff appointee at the Port Authority, are on trial on charges that they directed and approved the lane closings to punish the mayor and then cov-

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ered up the scheme as a traffic study. While Christie is feigning complete ignorance, Wildstein claims that he informed his superior of the plan and its intent.

Vice Presidential Debate: Kaine Not Able

The vice presidential debate on Tuesday night was expected to be a snoozer between Virginia Senator Tim Kaine and Indiana Governor Mike Pence, but, much like everything else in this election season, it quickly turned into an all-out slugfest. Kaine’s debate strategy was very clearly to be a pest and to try to rattle Pence – he did so by interrupting him 72 times. Pence, however, remained even keeled and was effective

at deflecting Kaine and communicating in a crisp and polished fashion so much so that the cable pundit class immediately began chirping about a possible Pence 2020 run if things don’t work out for Mr. Trump this November. While dismissing any effect this debate will have on the race, even Clinton campaign chairman John Podesta admitted that Pence came across as very “likable.” Kaine repeatedly tried to put Pence on defense by working Trump’s controversial comments into as many answers as possible, but Pence mostly ignored the bait – something Trump ought to learn how to do before his Sunday night rematch with Hillary Clinton – commenting at one point, “You and Hillary Clinton would know a lot about an insult driven campaign.” He pointed out that it was Hillary Clinton who said that “half” of Trump supporters belong in a “basket of deplorables.” Kaine also came prepared with canned lines. “Do you want a ‘you’re hired’ president in Hillary Clinton or a ‘you’re fired’ president in Donald Trump?” Kaine asked. Pence replied, “Well, first, let me say I appreciated the ‘you’re hired,’ ‘you’re fired’ thing.

You used that a lot and I think your running mate used a lot of pre-done lines.” At one seemingly not contentious moment in the debate Pence was in the middle of talking about his experience on September 11 and said, “I saw the clouds of smoke rise from the Pentagon,” at which point Kaine fidgeted in his seat and jumped in, “I was in Virginia where the Pentagon is located.” Even calm moments required an interruption. Pence spent some time laying out a vision for the Trump administration. He laid out four strategies for higher economic growth: tax cuts, deregulations, unfettered energy production, and better trade deals. He pointed out that the “Obama recovery” has produced an anemic 1.2 percent in growth whereas the Trump administration would result in 3.5 percent growth. Presidential nominee Donald Trump watched the debate from Nevada, where he “live-tweeted” throughout the debate. Although most of his tweets were fairly innocuous, he did re-tweet that “Kaine looks like an evil crook out of the Batman movies.” Hopefully, aside for tweeting,

Trump took some notes in advance of round two with Ms. Clinton this Sunday night. Otherwise we might as well start talking about Pence 2020.

Speed Led to Hoboken Train Crash

Last Thursday commuters boarded their train to work but unfortunately some of them didn’t arrive safely to their destination. A NJ Transit train crashed into the Hoboken Terminal and investigators are estimating that it was traveling two to three times its normal speed when it approached the platform. Sadly one person died in the crash. 108 people were injured. Federal investigators estimate the commuter train was traveling beContinued on page 30

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OCTOBER 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 7, 2016

OCTOBER 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

tween 20 and 30 mph when it normally comes in at 10 mph. The estimate is based on the extent of damage – the data from the train’s instruments is still being analyzed by investigators. Investigators were able to recover one of the train’s data recorders, but it was not working properly on

the day of the crash and the speed, braking, and other information was not recorded. Trains are required to have working recorders at all times under federal regulations. They are also supposed to be inspected every 92 days. The recorder on the train was installed in 1995, and it is not

yet known when the last inspection was. Luckily investigators were able to obtain surveillance videos from forward-facing cameras on nearby trains. “We will be able to look at the video to help us if for some reason there is not speed recorded, or if we

are not able to get speed from other sources,” T. Bella Dinh-Zarr, the vice chair of the National Transportation Safety Board, said. “There are ways to use landmarks along the way.” On Tuesday morning, the NTSB recovered another data recorder and video recording from the front of the train as well as a train operator’s cell phone. Over 100 commuters were injured and a woman who was standing on the platform was tragically killed from debris from the falling roof. The train crashed through a concrete-and-steel bumper and caused pillars that were holding up the station’s outdoor roof to fall, causing the roof to collapse. Dinh-Zarr said that the train was being operated by Thomas Gallagher, 48, who told investigators that he had no memory of the crash but insists that he was operating the train at 10 mph as he approached the station. Gallagher said he only remembers waking up on the floor of his engineer’s cab after the crash. In response to this fatal accident many are petitioning for the installment of automatic brakes, referred to as positive train control, on all commuter trains in order to prevent future incidents and protect commuters. New York Governor Andrew Cuomo offered, “The positive train control system no doubt can be a benefit, depending on the circumstances. Before we start to prescribe what could be a solution, you really have to define the problem.” Back in May 2011, a Port Authority Trans-Hudson (PATH) train hit the bumping post at the same exact station causing $352,617 in damages and injuring 30 of the 70 people aboard the train. The cause of that crash was the failure of the engineer to control the speed of the train entering the station, according to the National Transportation Safety Board, which investigated the incident. The board said the lack of automatic braking “would have intervened to stop the train and prevent the collision.” An anonymous U.S. official told the Associated Press that a few months ago during a routine audit federal rail officials discovered many violations by the NJ Transit’s safety and operations. The exact nature of the violations are not known but the rail agency was fined for them. Continued on page 34

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 7, 2016

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627

SHAAR 4 §1 — THE CATEGORIES

�

A MUST FOR THIS SEASON

OF ATONEMENT

‫יעי‬ ִ ‫� �ה �שּׁ �ער ָה ְר ִב‬ ‫לּוּקי �ה �כּ ָפּ ָרה‬ ֵ ‫ְבּ ִח‬

,‫וּמ ְדוֵ ה �הנֶּ ֶפשׁ וְ ָחלְ יָ הּ‬ � ,‫ ֵכּן יֵ שׁ ל� נֶּ ֶפשׁ‬,‫וּמ ְדוֶ ה‬ � ‫ְכּ ֶד ֶר ְך ֶשׁיֵּ שׁ ל� גּוּף חֹלִ י‬ ‫ ְוּבשׁוּב ָר ָשׁע ִמ �דּ ְרכּוֹ ָה ָר ָעה יְ �ר ֵפּא �ה ֵשּׁם‬.‫יה‬ ָ ‫יה ָה ָרעוֹת ו� ֲח ָט ֶא‬ ָ ‫דּוֹת‬ ֶ ‫ִמ‬

.‫א‬

� THE FOURTH GATEWAY � THE CATEGORIES OF ATONEM ENT

Rabbeinu Yonah begins this Shaar by explaining that, although teshuvah represents a complete turnaround for the sinner, and his sins are forgiven to a large degree, in some cases further atonement is necessary, beyond the actual teshuvah process. Various elements can be effective to bring about such atonement, depending on the nature of the sin and other conditions. The title of this Shaar, “Categories of Atonement,” refers to the different categories of sin that require different kinds of atonemen t, as Rabbeinu Yonah details below (§6 ff.). The elements that can bring about complete atonement after the sinner has done teshuvah include some of the following (depending on the sin): offerings brought in the Beis HaMikdash, the day of Yom Kippur, Heavenly affliction, and specific kinds of mitzvah endeavor s. Rabbeinu Yonah clarifies these concepts throughout this Shaar, focusing at length on the idea of Heavenly affliction and what one can do to avoid it, and on the awesome power of Yom Kippur to effect atonement.

§1 Rabbeinu Yonah illustrates the concept that some sins require additional atonement, beyond teshuvah, by comparin g sin to illness and teshuvah to healing:

‫יֵ שׁ ל� נֶּ ֶפשׁ‬

NOW IN ITS GE SECOND LAR PRINTING

‫וּמ ְדוֶ ה ֵכּן‬ � ‫ — ְכּ ֶד ֶר ְך ֶשׁיֵּ שׁ ל� גּוּף חֹלִ י‬In the same way that the body sometimes has an illness or an afﬂiction, so too does the soul. ‫הנֶּ ֶפשׁ וְ ָחלְ יָ הּ‬ � ‫וּמ ְדוֵ ה‬ � ‫יה‬ ָ ‫יה ָה ָרעוֹת ו� ֲח ָט ֶא‬ ָ ‫דּוֹת‬ ֶ ‫ — ִמ‬The “afﬂiction” of the soul and its “illness” are its negative character traits and its sins.[1] ‫ְוּבשׁוּב ָר ָשׁע ִמ �דּ ְרכּוֹ ָה ָר ָעה יְ �ר ֵפּא �ה ֵשּׁם‬

[1] 1. Rabbeinu Yonah, following Rambam, Hil. Teshuvah (7:3), counts not only sins

among those things for which a person must repent, but negative character traits as well.*



* Regarding the necessity of teshuvah for negative character traits, Rambam (Hil. Teshuvah 7:3) writes: Do not think that teshuvah applies only to sins that a person does by his actions … Rather, just as a person must repent from these, so must he search out his negative character traits and repent from them; [he must repent] from anger, hatred, jealousy, rivalry, mockery, pursuit of money and honor, pursuit of earthly pleasures such as food. … In fact, these sins (harboring these negative traits) are worse than sins that have a speciﬁc action,

A phrase-by-phrase simplified translation with basic commentary

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102 / Esrog

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OCTOBER 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Another NSA Spy

He’s not the first to steal classified information and he will undoubtedly not be the last. In a follow up to Edward Snowden’s flagrant acts of treason, on Wednesday, a Maryland man who worked as a federal government contractor was arrested and charged with stealing classified material. Harold Thomas Martin III, who held a top secret national security clearance, reportedly worked as a contractor for the National Security Agency. Such a breach would make him the second NSA contractor in three years to steal sensitive information from the agency, following the 2013 high profile leaks facilitated by Edward Snowden. In a criminal complaint unsealed this week, authorities said Mr. Martin’s Glen Burnie home and vehicle were searched by authorities on August 27 and he was found in possession of six classified documents that contained sensitive information. Both hard copy paper documents and digitally-stored information was recovered. The classified documents taken date back to 2014 and include information gathered through “sensitive government sources, methods and capabilities, which are critical to a wide variety of national security issues.” “The disclosure of the documents would reveal those sensitive sources, methods and capabilities,” the complaint states. Martin admitted to taking the documents in an interview. “Martin at first denied, and later when confronted with specific documents, admitted he took documents and digital files

Yom Kippur in the Forest Page 70

from his work assignment to his residence and vehicle that he knew were classified,” according to the complaint. He is also accused of stealing government property worth more than $1,000.

Obama to Use Treasury Funds to Settle ACA Claims

President Obama is tying up loose ends as he prepares to leave the White House. Currently his administration is trying to gets their ducks in a row to finally pay health insurers billions of dollars the government owes them under the Affordable Care Act. A settlement is crucial to the future success of the ACA, a large part of Obama’s legacy. Over 10 million Americans received coverage through the marketplaces since its inception in 2014 including many sick patients who cost health insurance companies a lot of money. This caused some smaller plans to go out of business and major plans to withdraw from the marketplace. Initially the government courted insurance companies into the marketplace by promising to cushion them from unexpectedly high expenses for their new customers. This strategy, called “risk corridors,” was only in place for the first three years. But many more health plans incurred high expenses from ACA patients than initially expected and last year the federal health officials announced that they were facing an enormous amount of debt to health plans. HHS made less than $400 million in 2014 risk-corridor payments, which is just 12.6 percent of the $2.9 billion it owed. Health insurance companies are suing over money owed to them and Justice Department officials have told companies in private that they are willing to settle. This would involve payments to 175 health plans that sold plans through ACA marketplaces.

A recent ban by Congress denied the use of Health and Human Services money for the payout. According to insurance executives and lawyers familiar with the negotiations the settlement money will come from a discreet Treasury Department fund that is intended to cover federal legal claims, such as this lawsuit. The Treasury’s Judgment Fund was established in the 1950s to satisfy claims against the government that are deemed valid. According to the fund’s website, funds have been used to settle a several hundred claims against the HHS within the last ten years equaling about $18 million. According to insiders, the payout can be as much as $2.5 billion for 2014 and another enormous sum for 2015. “It’s a legacy item for the White House,” said Dan Mendelson, president of the health consulting firm Avalere and an adviser on the payout effort. “It’s more than just a lawsuit. It’s really about the future…and stability of these markets.” The risk corridor payments are “an obligation of the federal government,” acting administrator Andy Slavitt told a recent House hearing.

Slap Shkreli Silly

Ever want to slap someone’s smirk off their face and then get cold feet? Many have pondered at former pharmaceutical executive Martin Shkreli’s smarmy countenance during recent hearings. In an effort to raise funds for the family of Mike Kulich, his former PR consultant who recently passed away, Shkreli offered to auction off a punch in the face. The lucky winner will land a slap on Shkreli’s face and many vied for the

position. As of last week, the winning bid came from “Katie” from Florida in the form of $50,000. But Katie got cold feet and Shkreli is now looking for another boxer. The executive will match the donation to pay for Kulich’s fiveyear-old’s son’s college education. Start packing your boxing gloves.

The Crime of Her Life

What’s on your bucket list? Traveling the world? Sampling every ice cream flavor? Skydiving? Edie Simms has done lots of things in her life. At 102-years-old, she’s basically seen it all. But she wasn’t able to get one thing crossed off her bucket list and so she enlisted the help of the local police department. A group of officers came down to Simms’ home and slapped some handcuffs on her frail wrists as she ducked into the back of a squad car. The elderly “prisoner” was escorted to the Five Star Senior Center where she vowed to cease her life of crime. What advice does this charming centenarian have to share? “Keep going, don’t ever stop whatever it is you’re doing, and spend some time doing community service,” she said. “Sometimes the person you reach out and touch is the only person that they will talk to in a day.” She then headed to a rousing game of bingo. N-5, anyone?

Hermit Found “In Michael, we have found a charismatic personality, which is the right quality for our hermit,” City Council president Sergio Wyniger announced.

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 7, 2016

Well, it’s good he has the proper personality. Twenty-two people vied for the job and only one person could get the $24,000-salaried position as the town of Solothurn’s hermit. Duties include living in a secluded cavelike cabin to take care of a nearby chapel and gorge, dispensing wisdom, and talking to tourists. Michael Daum, the newest hermit, will also receive a paid vacation. Daum is a former policeman. The 55-year-old snagged the job that has been around since the 15th century. He started this month. “I have lots of respect for the new job,” Daum told the Solothurner Zeitung newspaper. Daum, who studied theology and meditation after leaving the police force, will take over a position created in 1442 in honor of St. Verena, who was believed to have lived as a recluse in the region. The previous hermit left the position in February. Another previous hermit quit after complaining that people wanted to chat with her, and – in true hermit-like manner – she was unwilling to engage in social interactions. But there are others who enjoyed their tenure as a recluse. Johannes Leutenegger spent 25 years on his own at the job. Historically, only priests were allowed to hold the position in the Swiss town, but in the past decades civilian hermits were also hired. Because civilians can be hermits too, you know.

in the nation – and you got to go for free? Seems like a dream, but it really is true. There’s just one catch and if you go into business you always know you need to read the fine print. After graduating, students must find a job in the Midwest. Many business-minded individuals head to Stanford for its stellar education and its connections to Silicon Valley businesses. But the school is endeavoring to funnel business students to “underserved regions,” where the economy can benefit from business savvy graduates. “When we look at our country, and we think about different places where there’s still a lot of room for growth and development, the Midwest was a big part of that,” Simone Hill, an assistant director for MBA admissions at Stanford, said. In its inaugural year, the Stanford USA MBA Fellowship will pay three students about $160,000 over two years to attend the university. Within two years of graduating, recipients are required to find work in the Midwest, where they will “contribute to the region’s economic development” for at least two years. Want to apply? Stanford is looking for those who are in financial need and have ties to the Midwest. Considering that tuition and fees at Stanford range over $111,000 per academic year, you may want to have some funds in savings before applying. States in the Midwest are called the “Silicon Prairie.” Last year, Michigan and Illinois were among the five states that added the greatest percentage of tech jobs in the first six months of the year.

A Change in Pennies

Free Business School

Heading to business school? What if I offered you a spot in Stanford Graduate School of Business – one of the top ranked business schools

and it took like seven weeks, six to seven hours a day, and it took 80 tubes of silicone glue and 3 gallons of fiberglass boat glue,” the proud car owner said. The pennies haven’t just added to the truck’s shine, they’ve added an extra few pounds as well. “The hood is so heavy that I have to prop it open,” Hall said. “Now sometimes if you slam the doors real hard, [the pennies] will come off but I have a little glue kit in there and I just get them put them back on there.” Seems like it was worth every penny.

Wearing His Garbage For the next thirty days stay away from Rob Greenfield. The New Yorker will be wearing a clear plastic suit containing every piece of garbage he will produce within that time. That means you’ll be seeing every banana peel, bowl of cereal, and chicken bone that he’s left with. An average American dumps 4.5 pounds of trash per day. Multiply that by 30 and you got a4.65” whopping 135 pounds x 5.875 FTJH that Rob will

be lugging around. Rob’s trash trek will be filmed by a film crew throughout the thirty days.

“Most people never think twice about the trash they make. Once it’s in the garbage can it’s out of sight, out of mind and although the 4.5 pounds of trash per day statistic is widely known, very few visuals exist to help people truly understand it,” a post on Greenfield’s website stated. Now people can follow his trash on videos, live streams and blogs. “Rob will be a walking billboard of environmental awareness to educate and inspire people to make positive changes in their life to reduce their waste,” the website stated. Seems like one man’s trash is another man’s social media lesson. Sounds like trash talk to me.

Yachad is coming to the

Five Towns/ Far Rockaway!

Please join us for an informative session introducing the many programs and services coming to your community.

Wednesday, November 2, 2016 • 8:15 PM At the home of

Rabbi & Mrs. Shloime Edelstein 29 Westcott Street, Inwood, NY Learn about Yachad programs, including: • Adult Day Hab (JUF) • Vocational Services • IVDU Schools for boys and girls • Summer Programs • Weekend Retreats • Social Programs

When is a Chevy SUV a Lincoln? When it’s covered in thousands of pennies. Larry Hall of North Carolina turned his 2000 Chevy Blazer into a copper car by plastering its exterior with 51,300 pennies. Excluding the painstaking work, the magical transformation cost Larry only $513. “I had to put them on one by one

We welcome you to share your ideas to help us design a unique program that will address your specific needs. For more information, please email rosenbaumi@ou.org

RSVP: bluzeNSteiNt@ou.oRg

Yachad/NJCD is dedicated to enhancing the life opportunities of individuals with disabilities, ensuring their participation in the full spectrum of Jewish life. Yachad is a program of the Orthodox Union

OCTOBER 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Around the

Community PHOTO CREDIT NAFTOLI GOLDGRAB PHOTOGRAPHY

MAY Students Go Way Beyond Basics

ew York State’s Common Core Standards and Regents requirements present a high school student with quite a substantial workload. However, at Mesivta Ateres Yaakov, the overall sentiment has always been to challenge and engage students beyond the required standards, making for a well-rounded, preparatory high school experience. This is primarily accomplished through the Mesivta’s extensive Elective Course program, providing intriguing courses beyond the state-mandated benchmarks and standards. “High school general studies education is primarily a preparation for college and a career,” commented General Studies Principal Rabbi Sam Rudansky. “But, if I could paraphrase educational reformer John Dewey, we can never lose sight of the reali-

ty that education is not only preparation for life, but, as well, a part of life itself.” Amongst the elective opportunities offered to MAY students is the very popular Center for Initiatives in Jewish Education (CIJE) sponsored Pre-Engineering Program. This program is offered to 9th and 10th graders who have an aptitude for math and science and have met certain benchmarks and criteria to enroll in this two-year course. The program culminates with an interschool Engineering Fair at which students present their innovative projects to hundreds of participants and educators. “Our goal for our talmidim is quite clear from the start,” commented Menahel Rabbi Mordechai Yaffe. “We communicate the same messages to our talmidim in the morning during limudei ko-

desh, and in the afternoon during general studies. Beginning with Shacharis in the morning and ending with the last General Studies class of the day, our consistent goal is to develop well-rounded b’nei Torah.” As students progress and complete their state-mandated benchmarks many addi-

tional elective opportunities become available, including a two-year computer science track, a two-year business and finance track, and numerous Advanced Placements courses. Upperclassmen can avail themselves of offerings such as Jewish History, Introduction to Law, Introduction to

Psychology, Economics and Public Speaking, through which 3 college credits can be earned in the 12th grade. These courses complement between five and seven other Advanced Placement courses being offered and MAY’s Touro Freshman Center Program as well.

Eitan Katz Concert to Benefit Sderot on Chol Hamoed Sukkos

merican Friends of Sderot invites you to a special concert on Chol Hamoed Sukkos featuring world renowned singing sensation Eitan Katz on Wednesday, October 19 at the Queens Theatre at 8pm to benefit the community and Hesder Yeshiva of Sderot. The city of Sderot, located in Southern Israel and less than one mile from the Gaza border, has become one of the most significant national symbols of heroism. The Hesder Yeshiva of Sderot, the largest Hesder Yeshiva in Israel, has a rocket-proof Beit Midrash and dormitories to secure the safety of the 500 students who study Torah

there and who also serve in the IDF. A rocket-proof bomb shelter in the city’s park enables hundreds of children to play, while living under the threat of missile bombardments and tunnels of terror from nearby Hamas in Gaza. The Chanukah Menorah, made from the Kassam Rockets that fell in the city of Sderot, stands proudly on top of the Hesder Yeshiva and is a true testament to Sderot’s brave determination in the face of continuous terror. Being on the frontlines, Sderot has revealed to the world a model of outstanding courage that sets the tone for the State of Israel. Against all odds, the community

of Sderot, with the help of the Hesder Yeshiva, is growing and thriving. The town is hustling and bustling. Real estate is developing and, anchored by the new state of the art train station that connects Sderot with the rest of the country, young families are moving to experience life in this special town. The concert will raise much needed funds for scholarships, programs and projects which will help continue to build and secure Sderot. Ticket prices are $18, $25, $36, $50, $75. If you would like to be a sponsor for the concert, the Sponsorship levels are as follows: $250: Two $36

tickets plus 2 Raffle tickets; $500: Four $50 tickets plus 5 Raffle tickets; $1000: Four $75 tickets plus 10 Raffle tickets; Raffle Prize: Large Sderot Mezuzah Cover made from Iron Dome fragments ($360 value). Your participation will go a long way towards making the vision into a reality which will greatly benefit the Sderot community and the Hesder Yeshiva of Sderot. Please go to Sderot.org/concert to purchase tickets and/or be a sponsor. We look forward to your support. For more information please contact Judah@sderot or 718-6506091.

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 7, 2016

OCTOBER 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

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Local Schools Join the Digital Citizenship Movement

n Monday, September 26, The Digital Citizenship Project conducted its second annual training for its one of a kind curriculum on teaching digital responsibility in the age of technology. The conference was hosted by Rabbi Heshy Glass, National Chairman of The Consortium of Jewish Day Schools, based in Cedarhurst, New York, and brought in schools both locally and from across the northeast representing a wide range of yeshivas and Jewish day schools. In attendance were HAFTR, Mesivta Yam Hatorah, Park East Day School, Yeshiva Darchei Torah, Yeshiva Shaarei Tzion, Yeshiva Tiferes Moshe, Yeshiva Torah Vodaath, as well as a handful of educational technology organizations. Participants were trained in how to utilize the

“Tech Smart” curriculum and empower their students to make responsible decisions with technology. The Digital Citizenship Project leads the way in educating students, parents and school faculty on the inherent challenges of technology through understanding technology’s underlying impact on social, psychological and behavioral functioning. Developed by Dr. Eli Shapiro, the research-based and data-driven program focuses on the relationship between technology and how we live our lives. “This is not an Internet safety program,” said Shapiro, “but rather an exploration on how to maximize the benefits of technology through understanding its inherent challenges.” The program has been adopted by dozens of schools across the Unit-

ed States and Dr. Shapiro’s “Tech Smart” parent lecture has been heard by nearly 1,500 parents. The Digital Citizenship Project is also leading the way in shaping research-based practice.

As the only national study on the technology habits of Jewish day school students, Dr. Shapiro and his team are able to identify individual school technology profiles, benchmark the health of

technology engagement, and design strategies to address identified issues. For more information on The Digital Citizenship Project visit www.thedigitalscitizenship.com.

Mesivta Ateres Yaakov Ruth & Hyman Simon High School

131 Washington Ave, Lawrence New York 11559 | Phone: 516.374.6465 | Fax: 516.374.1834

Open House Sunday, November 13th at 1:30 PM Pursue your interests and broaden your horizons! Active Student Government and many clubs

Varsity & Intramural sports and competitions Model Bais Din| Torah Bowl | Literary Journals and Newspapers|ARISTA Extensive chesed program Torah and other student publications Call us at 516.374.6465 or visit us on the web at www.AteresYaakov.com

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 7, 2016

OCTOBER 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

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The shofar factory came to HAFTR last week and we learned so much. Our children were very involved in the whole process of making a shofar and they saw many different kinds – some small, some big, some curly, some straight. They saw how the bone is removed, how the inside of the horn is cleaned, how both ends have to be open (otherwise no sound will be heard), and how the shofar curves up to Hashem.

Shevach Shiur Empowers Alumnae to Reach Inward, Upward and Outward

hevach High School launched its Alumnae Shiur Series on Wednesday, September 22. As in previous years, alumnae were invited to an evening of learning and reconnecting with classmates and friends. This year’s opening shiur was given by Shevach Associate Principal, Mrs. Miriam Krohn, whose topic was “Reaching Inward, Upward and Outward.” And she did not disappoint, as the “students” were inspired to assess the previous year and set goals for the coming year. Mrs. Krohn focused on the haftorah of Shabbos Shuvah from Hoshea Chapter 14. The navi advises the Jewish people that regretting one’s actions is not enough. One person has to verbally apologize to another. Between man and Hashem, that is called viduy and we say that numerous times during these Yomim Noraim. But between man and man, it is necessary to step forward and ask for forgiveness outright. We beg Hashem to look at our good deeds. We can be worthy of that if we look at the good in others. The friend who consistently comes late when going to meet her friends needs

to be viewed positively in order to maintain that relationship. Although not easy, we would like our friends to do the same vis-a-vis our shortcomings. We would want our friends to overlook the time we divulged a secret we were asked not to repeat. With examples that resonated with the students Mrs. Krohn hit the proverbial nail on the head which was evident in the young ladies nodding as she spoke. Mrs. Krohn had taught all these young ladies in her tenure at Shevach High School. Indeed, she brought decades of experience in chinuch with her as she addressed her audience with depth, peppered with real life examples and even humor. It left the alumnae clamoring for more. The Alumnae Program is run by Mrs. Malkie Roberts, herself a former Shevach student. There were over 40 alumnae in attendance. The program will meet the first Wednesday of every month, the next one being Wednesday, November 2, 2016. Mrs. Krohn has agreed to do a mini-course to be continued over several months. All alumnae are invited to attend.

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 7, 2016

OCTOBER 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

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The Shofar Goes Toot, Toot, Toot at HALB

ome children held their ears, some looked up in wide-eyed wonder, and some laughed joyfully as Rabbi Akiva Oppen, sofer, baal tokaya, and owner of Oppen Scrolls, blew many different shofarot from many different kosher animals at the HALB Lev Chana Early Childhood Center. Shofarot from kosher animals such as antelopes, deer, kudus, ibex, avcan, gazelles, mountain

goats, goats, rams, crammed the table as Rabbi Oppen demonstrated how a kosher shofar slips off the bone that grows from the head of the animal. He assured the children that it does not hurt the animal at all. Our children were able to share with Rabbi Oppen that we blow the shofar to help us wake up and do teshuva and mitzvot. Rabbi Oppen had the children close their eyes and pretend to

be sleeping. He blew a long and loud tekiah which had all our children jump and wake up very quickly. Rabbi Oppen added that we need to remember that Hashem is the king. Rabbi Oppen told the children that when a king comes to a town, the soldiers line up and blow long trumpets, announcing his arrival. That is the tekiah sound, announcing that Hashem the king is here. The shevarim and teru-

ah are broken sounds that remind us to do teshuva, to break up our haughtiness and pride, as we stand before Hashem, our king. The children excitedly and carefully felt the smooth and rough shofarot, exclaiming how some were so big and heavy and some so long and thin. A big thank you to Rabbi Oppen for an amazingly fun and educational program.

HAFTR High School Students Reflect on the Deeper Meaning of Tzelem Elokim

ulminating our Shavua Iyun, a week dedicated to intense learning, and reflecting on the tzelem Elokim (image of G-d) in each of us and thus preparing ourselves not only for the Yomei Ha’Din but for life, Hon. Ronald Goldman, Village of Lawrence Administrator, addressed HAFTR High School. His message? Self-image. He opened with an anecdote about a police officer who was incredibly successful in obtaining confessions. The key to his undeniable success was a household object: a mirror. The officer would

hold up the mirror so the arrested could look at his or her own reflection and repeatedly ask, “Do you like who you see? Would your mother like who she sees?” More often than not, the defendant would break down. Since we live with ourselves our whole life, we have to like ourselves in order to be successful. As a result, continued Judge Goldman, “the goal is to be able to look inside the mirror that is life and like what you see.” With this in mind, Hashem created the world to give us the opportu-

Could Israel have Avoided the Yom Kippur War? Page 74

The Hon. Ronald Goldman addressing HAFTR High School

nity to do chessed, kindness. Jewish values of justice, integrity, honesty, and courage keep us from doing that which would distort our image.

Great people are idealists who take principles from the Torah and utilize them in real-life situations. Not only do you have to be your best self in public, but also when no one is looking, for that is when it matters most. “You are who you are all the time,” Judge Goldman remarked, “for everything you do reflects on you.” When making friends, everyone must have standards that they must apply to those who would be their friends. It is the people you surround yourself with who help shape you. Over time, the students were advised, “You will be tested, your values attacked.” You must emerge stronger. Those who you befriend help you define who you are. “The ultimate test is, if you saw you walking down the street, would you want to be friends with you?” A special thank you to Hon. Ronald Goldman and all the amazing limudei kodesh and lashon faculty who imbued their lessons with such depth and insight and taught us how we must view ourselves and others.

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 7, 2016

OCTOBER 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

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Doing Chessed is an Integral Part of SKA

ith the yomim tovim approaching, the students of the Stella K. Abraham High School for Girls spent Monday, September 26, doing acts of chessed all over the New York area! While the sophomores participated in a sensitivity workshop with projects and games along with students at IVDU, Yachad’s high school for girls, the freshmen prepared food at the Masbia soup kitchen, sorted clothing at Bobby’s Place clothing gemach and shared pre-yom tov cheer with Otsar dayhab residents. SKA’s juniors performed the mitzvah of chesed shel emet, cleaning and clearing the Silver Lake cemetery, a Hebrew Free Burial Society cemetery for those who cannot afford a proper

burial. The seniors dedicated the day to “Bikur Cholim, Done Right.” They heard from experts in the field, had role playing workshops and put their new skills into action at the Woodmere Rehab Center and the Nautilus. SKA’s Day of Chessed was a real success! Several girls commented on how doing acts of kindness gave them a stronger connection to Hashem; at the same time, they noted that they were careful to make sure the beneficiaries kept their self respect during their visits. Thanks go to Rabbi Yosef Zakutinsky, Director of Student Programming, Mrs. Yafa Storch, Assistant Program Coordinator, and the teachers who accompanied all the grades on these amazing trips.

Mesivta Yam Hatorah Reaches New Heights

ast week Mesivta Yam Hatorah braved the challenging Ropes Course at Adventure Park, Long Island. Students literally rose to new heights while facing their fears and bonding with friends and rabbeim. However, the most exciting and inspiring moment of the day

occurred when an adult member of a different group commented on the exemplary middos the boys had and how it was a tremendous kiddush Hashem. It is trips like this that help reinforce the culture of growth permeating the walls of the Mesivta.

From Comptroller George Maragos

or years, I have been at odds with the Republican Committee over issues of fiscal responsibility, borrowing, waste, and trust in government. I have been at odds over raising the minimum wage and increased opportunities for women, minorities and veterans. Over time, I found that my values have become more aligned with the Democratic Party. Consequently, last week, I submitted, to the Nassau County Board of Elections, an application to change my party registration to Democrat. To Republican Chairman Joe Mondello, I want to express my gratitude for the great opportunity he gave me to be of public service. I also, would like to thank my many Republican friends for their friendship. I hope that our friendship will continue and transcend

party ideology. My party change will have no impact on my responsibilities as Comptroller. I will continue to run the office in an independent and bipartisan manner, as I have done in the past six years. We are all aware that Nassau County faces significant financial challenges, multiple corruption allegations, weak economic growth, and a costly and unfair tax assessment system, We cannot continue to borrow in order to pay the bills, defer paying bills, or hit our residents with big fees. Nassau County can do better! We need to restore trust in government, strengthen public health and safety, eliminate waste, balance the budget without borrowing, and finally fix the broken tax assessment system which

is costing tax payers nearly $100M/ per year resulting in higher taxes for many. In order to address these pressing issues, I am announcing that I will be seeking the Democratic Party nomination for Nassau County Executive. As a two term Comptroller, I have intimate knowledge of the challenges facing our government, 35 years of proven senior management experi-

ence, and the integrity to deal with the issues facing Nassau County. Together, we can make Nassau County a better place to stay, live, find good paying jobs, raise a family, and retire in our homes! I look forward to work closely with Chairman Jay Jacobs and all elected officials to make Nassau County more affordable, vibrant and with a Government we can be proud of.

The Power of Your Prayer Eytan Kobre on page 60

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 7, 2016

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OCTOBER 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

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YCQ Parent-Child Slichot Learning Program By Eitan Adler

n Motza’ei Shabbat, September 24, Yeshiva of Central Queens invited grade 5-8 students and their parents to come learn together during a Parent-Child Slichot event. This is the beginning of a yearlong, Sunday morning parent-child learning program at the yeshiva. Rabbi Shmuel Marcus, Magid Shiur, Beis Medrash L’Talmud, Lander College for Men, gave a dvar Torah on the power of tefillah. Rabbi Moshe

Hamel, JHS Assistant Principal, lead Slichot for the students, their parents and other YCQ rabbeim who were attending the event. “Rabbi Hamel’s singing was beautiful,” said YCQ student Dovid Kassnett, a new student at YCQ who came to the event with his father. With over fifty students and family members participating, it was a great start to the program that takes place on Sunday mornings throughout the school year.

Mom’s Chicken: Succulent Solutions for the Holidays & Year-Round

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f you are looking for a simple and delicious culinary solution for family and friends during the upcoming holiday season, you’ll relish the succulent selection of Tnuva’s “Mom’s Chicken” products, which are available at local supermarkets. The “Mom’s Chicken” series of products, which includes Grilled Seasoned Chicken Tenders, Chicken Breast Jungle Breaded Animal Shaped Breast Patties, Sesame Breaded Chicken Tenders, Breaded Star Shaped Chicken Breast Patties, Chicken Breast Nuggets and Extra Thin Chicken Breast Patties are all made with fresh cut white meat chicken breasts, contain no preservatives or fillers, and have 0g trans-fat per serving. All of “Mom’s Chicken” products are also USDA approved. “Mom’s Chicken” products, which are OU-Glatt Kosher, can go from your freezer to the lunch or dinner table in minutes, making it a favorite amongst kosher consumers seeking quality alternatives for family meals. While “Mom’s Chicken” can be served all year ‘round, the combina-

tion of festive holidays and Shabbosim in the coming weeks presents a challenge for those who cook, as well as hungry family members of all ages and guests. “The Mom’s Chicken line of products, which has enjoyed enormous success amongst Israeli consumers, was designed to present the perfect solution for busy families, moms and dads on-thego, throughout the year. But it’s also a fantastic solution during this year’s busy holiday season as well, when many extra formal and informal meals will be served,” said Yoram Behiri, President of TnuvaUSA. “Every product offers a quality, alternative to either frying or baking various chicken dishes for every member of the family, which can be time consuming. Just pop a Mom’s Chicken product in the oven and in minutes, you’ll be serving a piping hot and delicious meal.” B’tayavon! For more information about Mom’s Chicken and Tnuva products, visit the Tnuva website at:http:// www.tnuvausa.com/

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 7, 2016

OCTOBER 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

Seventh grade students of Shulamith Middle Division visited the Long Island Living Center on Friday, September 31. They enjoyed speaking with the residents, singing holiday songs, and presenting a beautiful apple craft in honor of Rosh Hashana.

Ohel’s 47Th Annual Gala

f OHEL’s Walls Could Talk is the theme of OHEL’s 47th Annual Gala on Sunday, November 20 at 5:00 pm at the New York Marriott Marquis. It speaks to both the cries for help and the words of comfort that OHEL provides and the new walls of the Jaffa Family Campus that will enable OHEL to meet the ever increasing diverse needs in the community. As a member of the community, you have listened, heard and responded to the voices of people in need in our community – you’ve helped create and support new programs, thus helping individuals at OHEL embrace their challenges. OHEL will honor the Jaffa Family Campus Builders including the Jaffa Family, Rubin Development and Construction Inc., Charles and Patricia Schwartzapfel, Registered Architect and Mendy and Chani Schrieber of AirMark. OHEL will celebrate the evolution of the new Jaffa Family Campus, to open in 2017. In our expansive new space, OHEL will meet the increasing needs of the community thanks to your generous support. Rabbi Harry and Dr. Elizabeth Rieder, a”h, OHEL Vice President and longtime Board Member, will be honored. Their children, Annette and Dr. Menachem Rubin and Julie and Kenneth Pinczower, will dedicate the Rieder Mental Health Center at OHEL continuing their parents’ leg-

acy. The Rieders were visionary advocates for members of our community who have psychiatric and mental health challenges. They believed that every voice deserves to be heard. The Rieder Mental Health Center will have a prominent role in OHEL’s new Jaffa Family Campus in Flatbush. Bert and Renee Gross and Rose Pollak will receive the Parents Lifetime Advocacy Award for their three decades of tireless efforts on behalf of individuals with psychiatric disabilities. Together, they helped found OHEL’s first residence for adults with psychiatric disabilities. Braking barriers of stigma, these men and women with psychiatric disabilities, now numbering in the hundreds, in OHEL homes and apartments are able to live more independently and thrive in their communities. Aaron Jungreis, Jay Kestenbaum, Dr. Edward Lebovics and Shmuel Pollak are Co-Chairmen of the Gala. Moishe Hellman and Mel Zachter, OHEL Co-Presidents, invite you to join OHEL and the distinguished honorees at this Gala. With your help and continued support, OHEL can continue to effectively respond to the increasing voices of need in our community. To make reservations or place journal ads, please call 718972-9328 or e-mail gala@ohelfamily.org.

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 7, 2016

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OCTOBER 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

The Nursery Bet Classes at HANC ECC West Hempstead were so excited to walk to the post office, take a tour, and mail their own Rosh Hashana cards to their families.

Woodmere Fire Dept. to Host Fire Prevention Day

he Woodmere Fire Department will open its doors to the public on Sunday, October 9 and show residents what the all-volunteer department does on a daily basis, while educating individuals of all ages on critical fire prevention tips. The department’s firefighters and emergency medical technicians (EMTs) will be on hand at the firehouse, located at 20 Irving Place in Woodmere, to give individuals a glimpse of how they save lives and help those in need. Fire Prevention Day will run from 12 p.m. to 4 p.m. and is slated to feature exciting and educational attractions for residents of all ages to enjoy. “Fire Prevention Day gives us the opportunity to show the public how we protect lives and property, and serve our community each and every day,”

said fire department officials. “Our firefighters and EMTs go above and beyond the call of duty in their service and dedication, and we encourage residents to speak to our members about applying to join our ranks. In addition, Fire Prevention Day gives us the opportunity to educate the public on the importance of fire prevention and safety, and teach individuals of all ages what to do in the event of an emergency.” Fire Prevention Day will include exhibitions for the entire family, including fire engine rides, as well as fire truck and ambulance tours. Firefighters will perform live demonstrations of their heroic work, including vehicle extrications using the “jaws of life.” Children will have the opportunity to try on firefighter and paramedic gear,

while learning how to put out a fire with an extinguisher. Residents will learn firsthand a myriad of lifesaving tips in the event of an emergency. Kids will be taught what to do in the event of a fire inside an interactive smokehouse, and firefighters will give presentations on fire safety throughout the day. Community members will also be able to learn more about joining the department as a firefighter or EMT, while teenagers will have the opportunity to hear about the department’s cadet program. Prizes and free giveaways will be given out throughout the event. “We encourage the entire community to come down and visit us on Fire Prevention Day, and learn lifesaving fire prevention tips,” added department officials. “Fire Prevention Day

promises to be a fun-filled and educational event for residents of all ages and we look forward to showing the community what we do to serve them and save lives.” Founded in 1889, the Woodmere Volunteer Fire Department provides fire, rescue and advanced life support emergency medical care to the communities of Woodmere and Cedar Bay Park, as well as to the villages of Woodsburgh and Hewlett Neck. In addition, the department provides mutual to surrounding fire departments. The department is completely comprised of volunteers and is always looking for new members to join its ranks. For more information or to reach the department, visit www.woodmerefd.com, or call (516) 821-3600.

Rabbi Krohn to Speak at Community Event for Refuah of Raquel (Marton) Katz By Ruchama Schnaidman

s the Days of Judgment near, our hearts tremble as we rush to come closer to Gd and accrue merits. What an opportunity, then, would it be to combine Torah learning and the giving of tzedaka, two of the three pillars that hold up this world. Learning 2 Give, a revolutionary project, offers you this chance – to multiply your merits by connecting the power of giving with the greatness of Torah. This Aseres Yemei Teshuvah, Learning 2 Give welcomes the Five Towns community to an inaugural, monumental event on behalf of the refuah sheleimah of Raquel (Marton) Katz. It’s an event you will gain from as

you enable giving; it’s an event you can’t afford to miss. Born from a desire to draw unaffiliated Jews closer to Torah, Learning 2 Give connects tzedaka sponsors with people seeking to complete Torah learning goals. Learning Torah becomes the catalyst for a donation to a worthy cause. It’s a win-win initiative, offering every Jew a chance to connect with his fellow Jew through learning and tzedaka. There are some things we all understand: The horror of neediness, the pain of a widow’s outstretched arm, the frightening emptiness in the eyes of a starving child. Charity touches the heart of every Jew, tapping into their innate desire to give. Learning Torah to enable giving is a concept any Jew on any level of affiliation can connect to.

The desire to give fuels the desire to learn, which in turn fosters deep connection to Judaism. Learning 2 Give inspires Jews at every level of observance to drink from the life-giving fountain of Torah. It’s an extraordinary opportunity to reduce assimilation, help those in need, and connect fellow Jews. On Sunday, October 9, just two days before Yom Kippur, Learning 2 Give partners with Yad Chaya in a groundbreaking event. Yad Chaya, an organization founded to assist Israel’s poor in a variety of ways including supporting widows, marrying off orphans, and providing financial assistance for newborn-baby expenses, is a prime example of the worthy causes affiliated with L2G. This event will be a rally of unity, at which all Jews are welcome to

learn from the words of R’ Paysach Krohn, while their attendance guarantees an automatic donation of $100 to Yad Chaya. Sponsors for Yad Chaya have already pledged up to $20,000 for the first 200 attendees and have agreed to raise $100 per additional attendee. Please join your fellow Jews in this momentous evening of connection by signing up through our website, Learning2give.org. Your attendance will leave you inspired, while enabling Yad Chaya to provide for another needy family in Israel. Encouraging a nonaffiliated friend to join will further our goal of reaching out to our fellow Jews and introducing to them the beauty of Torah study and Orthodoxy in a convenient and relatable way. We look forward to welcoming you at this event.

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 7, 2016

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OCTOBER 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

TJH

Centerfold kidding

You gotta be

A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked out to have a talk with him. “I’ve figured out your problem,” he told the pitcher. “You always lose control at the same point in every game.” “When is that?” “Right after the national anthem.”

Baseball Playoff Facts

Riddle me

this?

During a baseball game, the first baseman, Johnnie, was his team’s leadoff hitter. There were no substitutions or changes in the batting order at all during the nine inning game. Johnnie batted in every inning. What is the least number of runs that his team could have scored in the game? See answer on next page

The World Series began in 1903 to make peace between the two rival baseball leagues, the American League and the National League. B

New York Giants’ manager John McGraw so hated the American League in 1904 that his team refused to play in the World Series. B

Reggie Jackson once hit three homeruns on three consecutive pitches in a World Series game. B

Frank Robinson and Brooks Robinson (no relation) hit back-to-back homeruns in the 1966 playoffs as members of the Baltimore Orioles. In 2014 J.D. Martinez and Victor Martinez (no relation) did the same thing for the Detroit Tigers in the post-season. B

“The dreams are that you’re gonna have a great series and win. The nightmares are that you’re gonna let the winning run score on a ground ball through your legs. Those things happen, you know. I think a lot of it is just fate.” – Bill Buckner in an interview several days before he allowed Mookie Wilson’s dribbler to ramble through his legs, leading to the Mets beating the Red Sox in the 1986 World Series. B

The Braves won the World Series in three different cities: Boston (1914), Milwaukee (1957), and Atlanta (1995). B

More people have walked on the moon (12) than men who have scored against Mariano Rivera in the postseason (11).

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 7, 2016 The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

MLB Post-Season Trivia 1. Which team has been in every American League Champion Series (ALCS) between the years 1995 and 2001? a. Red Sox b. Yankees c. Orioles d. Mariners 2. Who threw down the Yankees bench coach Don Zimmer in Game 3 of the ALCS in 2003? a. Pedro Martinez b. David Ortiz c. Manny Ramirez d. Curt Schilling 3. Which of the following sluggers hit at least 25 homeruns in postseason play? a. Manny Ramirez b. Reggie Jackson c. Babe Ruth d. Mickey Mantle 4. Which Giants hitter hit “the shot heard round the world” in the 1951 playoff win over the Dodgers? a. Carl Erskine b. Don Newcombe

c. Bobby Thompson d. Ralph Branca 5. Who has played in the most postseason games in MLB history? a. Billy Martin b. Yogi Berra c. Derek Jeter d. Reggie Jackson 6. When did the MLB add the wild card round to the playoffs? a. 1956 b. 1974 c. 1994 d. 2002 7. Which team holds the record for most consecutive playoff appearances? a. Yankees b. Dodgers c. Cardinals d. Braves Answers: 1. B 2. A - When the Yankees and Red Sox had a bench clearing

brawl, Zimmer charged towards Pedro Martinez. Martinez grabbed Zimmer by his rather large bald head and threw him to the ground. Not nice. 3. A 4. C - The “shot heard ‘round the world” is the game-winning three-run homer in the bottom of the ninth by New York Giants Bobby Thomson at the Polo Grounds in New York City, to win the 1951 National League (NL) pennant over the Dodgers. That was the first game ever broadcast on television. 5. C - Jeter played in 154 postseason games. 6. C 7. D - The Braves made the playoffs from 1991 through 2005. Scorecard: 6-7 correct: Boom! It is high it is far … it is gone! The Shot Heard Around the Centerfold! 3-5 correct: Congrats! You are in the wild card. 0-2 correct: You win front row tickets to see the Mets play in the wild card game at Shea Stadium!

53 25

Answer to Riddle: Zero. In the first inning John and the next two batters walk and the next three strike out. In the second inning, the first three walk again, which brings John back to bat. But each runner is caught off base by the pitcher, so John is back at the plate at the start of the third inning. This pattern is now repeated until the game ends.

OCTOBER 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 7, 2016

daeh dnizg xnb

Thoughts on Yom Kippur

56 58 60 62 64

Shabbat Shuva by Rabbi Berel Wein

Bobker on Yom Kippur: The Art of Prepentance

Short Story

Lip Service by Eytan Kobre

70 72

Who Hurt Who? by Rabbi YY Rubinstein

Yom Kippurs of the Past

The Golden Rule by Rabbi Jonathan Gewirtz

Last Chance by Rabbi Dr. Naphtali Hoff

The Forest Cantor by Rabbi Yerachmiel Tilles Bridging the Gap by Larry Domnitch

Could Israel have Prevented the Yom Kippur War? by Abe Rabinovich

104

Battling the Skies in the Yom Kippur War by Avi Heiligman

Change within You

Some Necessary Changes by Deb Hirschhorn, PhD

In the Kitchen

Break-the-Fast Toasts by Naomi Nachman

OCTOBER 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Torah Thought

Shabbat Shuva By Rabbi Berel Wein

he name of this week’s Torah reading is taken from the first word of the parsha itself –vayelech. This word signifies movement, the action of going somewhere. The subject of this verb is a great teacher and leader Moshe. According to Jewish tradition and the words of the great commentators to the Torah, this parsha was recorded for us by Moshe on the last day of his presence on earth. It is truly wondrous that on his last day on earth Moshe should be described as being in motion, going in strength and fortitude to further teach and guide his beloved people

Israel. Perhaps in this word vayelech alone we discover the secret of the greatness and manifold achievements of Moshe during his lifetime. Moshe was always going, always engaged in teaching and counseling Israel. We do not find in the Torah that Moshe ever rested from his mission or stopped working and striving towards his goal of raising the Jewish people to be a kingdom of priests and a holy nation. Moshe, so to speak, is in perpetual motion, always advancing, going, cajoling and instructing the people of Israel. The Torah records for us that at the end of his life his physical

strength and faculties were in no way diminished. That certainly was an exceptional and most unique blessing. But that was a gift from G-d, as health and longevity always are. The continued activity on behalf of Torah and the Jewish people was a gift from Moshe to Moshe. It was entirely dependent upon his attitude, commitment and vision for himself and his people. Therefore he is truly described in this week’s Torah reading as being a person who is on the move, constantly going towards greater heights and more meaningful accomplishments. This is also one of the messages that Shabbat Shuva teaches us. In order to return to G-d and to begin anew in our quest for holiness and sanctity, we must be proactive in our behavior and attitude. Being passive or apathetic certainly will not accomplish the goal of national and personal return to greatness and holiness. The new year dawning upon us, with all of its blessings, also brings

y, a d 6 n r u e S mb e pm v o N 1:00 tion

with it all of its challenges as well. The ability to face up to those challenges, to keep on walking so to speak, will truly be the measure of our accomplishments and the events of this new year. Moshe has taught us by personal example that it is never too late in life to keep on walking and attempting to fulfill our hopes, aspirations and visions. Life is precious and fleeting and should be exploited to the fullest. Being in motion, physically and spiritually, is really the secret of successful longevity and lifetime achievement. Even the great Moshe is not granted physical immortality nor will he even be granted all of the wishes he had for himself on this earth. Yet, until his very last breath, Moshe devotes himself to accomplishing his goals and to leading the Jewish people. This short parsha, which should serve as an inspiration to all of us, should be well studied. Shabbat shalom and gmar chatima tova.

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OCTOBER 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

The Observant Jew

The Golden Rule By Rabbi Jonathan Gewirtz

ne of the most famous laws of the Yom Kippur service is that the Kohen Gadol, when entering the Holy of Holies, will not wear the bigdei zahav, the priestly vestments that had golden threads in them. The reason is that these would evoke the memory of the Golden Calf and thus create a negative aura of prosecution on that day. In the Gemara there is a concept that “ain kataiger na’aseh sanaigor,” a prosecutor cannot act as a defender. Therefore, wearing golden garments would trigger the prosecution and thus be powerless as a defender on the Day of Atonement. That said, I did manage to think of an appropriate instance of gold becoming a defender. Now, I’m not referring to paying your debts or giving tzedaka (in that order please, btw!) which can protect you from harm. Those are important but it’s not necessarily gold. It can be silver, dollars, pesos, conch shells, potatoes, or whatever else passes for currency where you live. What I’m thinking about is “the golden rule.” This basic doctrine of behavior essentially says, “Do unto

others as you’d have them do unto you.” If you want people to speak nicely to you, speak nicely to them. If you want people to offer you hospitality, offer hospitality to others when you’re in your own home. If you’d like people to respect your property, respect theirs. Interestingly, the phrase “Do unto others as you’d have them do unto you” is not a Jewish source. It appears in that format in the New Testament, but something got lost in translation. Actually, the original version came from Hillel, about 100 years earlier, as quoted in the Gemara (Shabbos 31a). A fellow came to him and said, “I want you to convert me to Judaism on the condition that you teach me the entire Torah while I stand on one foot.” I don’t think he was an acrobat, but was essentially asking for a single basis upon which he could establish his Judaism. Hillel’s response was, “What you don’t like, don’t do to your friend. The rest is commentary, go and learn.” Rashi there, contrary to the simple understanding, says “your friend” refers to Hashem. Just as you don’t like when people ignore your

wishes and go against them, don’t go against Hashem’s wishes. (His second explanation involves people, as most laymen interpret it.) It makes a lot of sense then, to say that the rest is commentary. The Golden Rule of Hillel is: “Be considerate of Hashem’s ‘feelings’ and follow His wishes.” What those are can be found in the Torah, hence, “commentary” explaining what He wants from us. What to my mind sets apart Hillel’s golden rule from that of the non-Jewish world is the approach we have in mind. The gospel seems to say treat others how you would like to be treated, because if you don’t, you can’t expect that treatment yourself. It’s a rule that is self-serving and may work for a society. Making theft illegal, for example, means that if I don’t steal, I don’t have to worry that someone else will steal from me. Hillel’s rule, though, is more about trying to understand the other party. If I know I don’t like something, I can extrapolate that they probably don’t like it either. When I don’t do something they don’t like, it’s not because I’m afraid they will do it to me but because I don’t

want to cause them pain or anguish. I value the relationship we have and want them to be happy. That’s a much different level than simply protecting myself.

ic way to achieve a desired result for yourself. But when you choose instead to focus on your relationship with Hashem and your behavior changes with what you

I value the relationship we have and want them to be happy.

When Hillel said not to go against G-d’s wishes that means even when they conflict with your own. You’re putting Hashem, or a person you care about, according to the second explanation of Rashi, first. That’s the sign of a relationship, not merely an agreed upon mode of behavior for the common good. What Hillel told this potential convert was: “Judaism is not ‘a bunch of laws and restrictions.’ Judaism is a relationship with Hashem. If you want to know how to enhance the relationship, go and learn Torah.” Though golden garments might bring up memories of the Golden Calf, that’s only when you’re focused on doing a specific act in a specif-

know Hashem wants from you, then you are following the true Golden Rule and there is no better defense than that.

Jonathan Gewirtz is an inspirational writer and speaker whose work has appeared in publications around the world. You can find him at www.facebook.com/RabbiGewirtz, and follow him on Instagram @ RabbiGewirtz or Twitter @ RabbiJGewirtz. He also operates JewishSpeechWriter.com, where you can order a custom-made speech for your next special occasion. Sign up for the Migdal Ohr, his weekly PDF Dvar Torah in English. E-mail info@JewishSpeechWriter.com and put Subscribe in the subject.

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 7, 2016

OCTOBER 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Between the Lines

Lip Service By Eytan Kobre

Actions speak louder than words, but not nearly as often. - Mark Twain

n 1888, Rabbi Jacob Joseph – a student of R’ Yisrael Salanter and then-resident of Vilna – was appointed Chief Rabbi of New York, where he had a dickens of a time championing Orthodox Judaism in the face of gale-forced Reform and Conservative headwinds and formidable anti-religious and Communist factions. After years of hardship and struggle in New York, Rabbi Joseph suffered a debilitating stroke that rendered him unable to speak publicly for the last five years of his tragically short life. In his final year, however, Rabbi Joseph made known that he would be delivering a Shabbos Shuva sermon, despite his ailments. Because hardly anyone had heard him speak in years, news quickly spread of the chief rabbi’s intentions, which garnered a great deal of publicity and interest. At the appointed time, Rabbi Joseph sat facing an enormous crowd, comprised of every faction of the Jewish community – including those who had been loyal to him from the outset and

those who had been hellbent on ruining him. He began softly, weakly. “Shteit in Rambam in Hilchos Teshuva…” (“The Rambam teaches in the Laws of Repentance…”) Then he stopped rather abruptly. He paused. He started again. “Shteit in Rambam…” (“The Rambam teaches…”) Another stop. Another pause. And then another attempt to begin. He fought mightily to remember what the Rambam had written but he simply could not. After several more unsuccessful tries, he sat in silence, tears streaming down his face. Then he spoke again, but with a different purpose. “Du vaist vus es maint tzu fargessin a Rambam far dem illui fun Volozhin?” (“Do you understand what it means for the Genius from Volozhin to forget a Rambam?”) Witness man’s demise! Repent now, because there will come a time when you will want to repent, but you just won’t remember how…” Rabbi Joseph cried. All those gathered cried. And they took his words to heart. It is said that Rabbi Joseph accomplished more on his final Shabbos Shuva than he did in all his years in New York. Unwittingly, his example that Shabbos made a

deeper, more lasting impression than his words ever had. During the Ten Days of Repentance – and especially on Yom Kippur – one prayer stands out as the focal point of our service in these auspicious days: the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy. The Thirteen Attributes originated after the sin of the Golden Calf as part of G-d’s pledge not to destroy the Jewish people (Shemos 34:6-10; Bamidbar 14:17-19). In revealing His attributes, G-d assured the Jewish people that, in times of urgency, the Thirteen Attributes will never go unanswered (Rosh Hashana 17b; Eliyahu Zuta 23). This is the covenant to which we refer in reminding G-d, so to speak, “You taught us to say the Thirteen [Attributes], and remember for us today the covenant of the Thirteen [Attributes].” So that’s it? Chant some attributes and we’re home free? Sounds easy enough. And according to some, it is just that easy – we merit salvation by reciting intently or meditating deeply over the Thirteen Attributes (Rabbeinu Bachaye, Shemos 34:6; Ramban, Emuna U’Bitachon, Chapter 19). But others, indeed most authorities, regard mere recitation as insufficient; G-d’s covenant requires emulation of the Thirteen Attributes

(ShaLaH, Shemos 34:6; Reishis Chochma, Sha’ar HaAnava Chapter 1; Ein Yosef, Rosh Hashana 17a). Indeed, the great Kabbalist R’ Moshe Cordovero compiled a treatise (Tomer Devora) fashioned after the Thirteen Attributes, describing how each is to be cultivated and honed. The young nephew of a wealthy merchant once asked to join the family business. As luck would have it, the uncle explained, he was in the market for a responsible and trustworthy manager to oversee the day-to-day operations of his stores. With his nephew more than happy to oblige, the merchant laid out a list of daily tasks and a rigid schedule. Handing the to-do list to the youngster, the merchant promised the handsome monthly salary of 50 gold coins for his work. On the payday following his first month on the job, the young man asked for his salary. But before handing his nephew the money, the merchant wanted to know how things were getting on with the business. Without any hesitation, the nephew rattled off the long list of duties and detailed schedule that the merchant had prepared. “Okay,” the merchant replied. “But how are the stores?” The young man seemed

confused. “The stores? How would I know? I haven’t been to any of them. I have, however, memorized the list you prepared for me – perfectly, I might add.” The uncle was incredulous. “What? You haven’t managed the stores? Didn’t it dawn on you that you needed to act on the list rather than just memorize and repeat it?” Our recitation of the Thirteen Attributes, the Chofetz Chaim explained, is no different. Of course we can recite and regurgitate the Thirteen Attributes. That’s no feat. G-d wants us to act on them and emulate them and incorporate them into our lives. Like the parable’s list of chores, the Thirteen Attributes are the roadmap for what we ought to be doing. G-d’s covenant that the Thirteen Attributes would never go unanswered was not conditioned upon mere recitation of the Thirteen Attributes, but upon emulating and living them (Rosh Hashana 17b; see Sota 14b [“just as He is compassionate, so you should be compassionate”]). After all, “it is not the study that is primary, rather the action” (Avos 1:17). The same idea is expressed at another high point of the High Holy Day service, U’Nesaneh Tokef, in which we proclaim that “re-

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 7, 2016

pentance, prayer, and charity overturn the bad decree.” Ever notice that, in virtually every Machzor, three words appear above “repentance, prayer, and charity”? Above

(The numerical value of each of the three words – “tzom,” “kol,” “mamon” – is 136, which also is the numerical value of the word “sulam” – “ladder.” Tangi-

After several more unsuccessful tries, he sat in silence, tears streaming down his face.

“repentance” is “tzom” (“fast”); above “prayer” is “kol” (“voice”); and above “charity” is “mamon” (“money”). Repentance, prayer, and charity are hardly foreign concepts, but those little words remind us to give them expression through tangible action.

ble actions are the ladder by which one reaches the lofty notions they are intended to represent.) Yankel, known to be an opponent of the Hasidic movement, once visited the town of Sassov during the month of Elul, and he couldn’t help but notice

something odd: the Rebbe, R’ Moshe Leib Sassover, would consistently arrive in shul after Selichos already had concluded. Confident that he could put them on the defensive, Yankel confronted the Rebbe’s followers. “How can your Rebbe miss Selichos every day? What kind of a Rebbe skips Selichos?” “You don’t understand,” explained the Rebbe’s devotees. “The Rebbe is late because he ascends the heavens on behalf of the Jewish people to beseech G-d on their behalf.” Now Yankel just had to prove the Rebbe’s followers wrong. So, early the next morning, as the Rebbe left his home with a package of food and an axe, Yankel followed close behind. Dressed as a peasant, the

Rebbe walked deep into the woods, took out his axe, and chopped a tree into firewood. Bundle of wood in hand, the Rebbe then trudged along to an old, run-down hovel, where an elderly woman opened the door. Seeing the load of chopped firewood, the woman apologized that she could not possibly accept so large a bundle of wood since she lacked the money to pay for it. “No problem,” R’ Moshe Leib answered. “You can pay me whenever you have the money.” Then the elderly woman told the Rebbe that she was not strong enough to lift the wood, and R’ Moshe Leib heaved the heavy logs into the furnace and lit a fire. And as he lifted each successive log and tossed it into the furnace, he would recite

one-by-one each of G-d’s Thirteen Attributes. Hashem, Hashem, G-d, Compassionate and Gracious… Yankel ran back to town and straight into the shul where he had challenged the Rebbe’s disciples. When they asked whether he had seen the Rebbe ascend the heavens, Yankel answered enthusiastically, “Yes, yes, high into the heavens. And perhaps yet higher!” That is what it means to not only recite the Thirteen Attributes but to become the living embodiment of them. And that is not just lip service – it is true service.

Eytan Kobre is a writer, speaker, mediator, and attorney living in Kew Gardens Hills. Questions? Comments? Suggestions? E-mail eakobre@outlook.com.

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Another L

Who Hurt Who? By Rabbi YY Rubinstein

t is only short moments away from Yom Kippur and this morning my chavrusa and I were learning the Chovos HaLevovos on the subject of teshuva. The point we had reached in the work made for uncomfortable reading. The author, Rabbeinu Bachya, was pointing out that there are some things that are exceedingly hard to

do teshuva for. Included in the list was when you hurt someone with words and the person was severely upset or damaged by what you said. The problem, along with carrying out the essential step of securing their forgiveness, is the very tricky part of undoing the hurt your words caused. To make things worse, you may be completely unaware that

what you said caused any pain at all. It is possible though that someone is upset by someone’s words and even hurt deeply and the person who spoke them does not have to do any teshuva at all! A few years ago I returned to a certain Jewish community to be their Scholar in Residence for the second time in a row. Once again, Rosh Hashana rubbed shoulders with Shabbos, turning two days effectively into three. I gave three lectures on each of the three days. The ninth and final lecture of my visit took place on Shabbos afternoon and the shul was packed. You can generally tell from the fact the people laugh at the right time as well as their level of attention if the Shiur has been a success. On this occasion, all the signals looked good…or so I thought. After my talk, a man who had listened attentively through all nine lectures approached me to tell me that he was “extremely upset by my racist comments.” I was completely baffled and asked him what on earth he meant. In the course of the talk I had asked if this particular city had nail salons run by Vietnamese folk. I was about to tell them a story of my wife’s she’d heard from her Vietnamese manicurist in Los Angeles when she lived there. When I went on to tell the story and quoted the manicurist’s words, I said them in a Vietnamese accent, to enhance their effect. My accuser had by now grown quite red and angry as he explained it was this that he found racist.

I asked him if he had been to any other of my presentations and he confirmed what I already knew, that he had been to them all. When I speak I often use accents, which I have a natural ear for, apart from a Hungarian accent. Despite liking it a lot, I can’t do it. This is something which my wife is quite miffed about, as her family is Hungarian, but I digress. I turned to the man whose face was now more purple than red and asked, “If you have been to all of my talks you will heard me speaking in many accents.” I listed them and they included German, French, Italian, Russian, Spanish, British (there are 56 of those and I can do them all), Irish, American and many more. He agreed that this was true. “Why then,” I asked, “were none of those accents racist and the Vietnamese one was?” The fellow stared at me with a look of confusion on his face, which had returned from purple to being merely red. I pointed out that you can’t believe one kind of accent is racist and another is not unless of course you yourself are afflicted by racism. The man thought about this for a few seconds, then slowly nodded his head and told me that I was right. A while later his wife approached with the same complaint. Sadly she was not as able as her husband to consider that perhaps the problem lay with her and not with me as she stormed off muttering darkly under her breath. It turned out that this couple had adopted three Vietnamese children. All had American G.I. fathers who

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 7, 2016

had abandoned them at that tragic war’s end. They were ultra-sensitive about anything they considered faintly, Vietnamo-phobic. (I just made that PC sounding term up, but just you wait…some over-sensitive soul, suffering from political correctness will probably take it up. You read it first in The Jewish Home!)

you, holding back from rushing to convict them. It was failure of this kind that led to the hatred between Joseph and his brothers and led them to do something for which they never forgave themselves for the rest of their lives. Joseph too failed in this regard. He was completely convinced his

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My accuser had by now grown quite red and angry as he explained it was this that he found racist.

When I feel hurt or upset by something someone said or wrote I always feel that a good rule of thumb is to ask myself, “Did the person say something that was actually insulting?” If the answer is yes, then the next question is, “Did he or she intend to insult or offend?” If the answer to that is “no,” the third question is if he or she did not intend to offend, did they say something that they should have reasonably understood would cause offense? The old saying advises: If you don’t want to upset anyone, then make sure you never say or do anything. And, of course, sadly, there are people who will be offended by almost anything. But if the person uttered or wrote something that passes the third test and no one could have reasonably expected what was said would cause offense, then there is very little, if anything, they have to seek forgiveness for. Another reason that someone you believe hurt you need not seek your forgiveness or has do teshuva is if they did not actually hurt you after all – you just thought that they did. It is one of the most satisfying feelings I know when you embrace the mitzvah of being dan l’kaf zechus, assuming someone’s innocence, and despite the apparent evidence that someone tried to hurt

brothers had done three very bad things. He was certain the evidence was overwhelming. It may have been overwhelming, but it was wrong. When someone seems guilty in cases like these, there is one thing that should be done before the jury of your mind brings in a guilty verdict. You should let the person have the chance to explain their side of the story. When they do, it so often turns out that what you thought as being clear-cut and irrefutable has a totally different explanation. After all, as Hillel used to say, “What you wouldn’t want done to you don’t do to other people.” I certainly would want the chance to present my side of the case and explain that I didn’t do what someone thought I did. If I was guilty and didn’t mean to upset anyone, I would like the chance to explain that. Oh! And of course if I did hurt someone by accident or on purpose and have no real defense, I would like the opportunity, in these short moments away from Yom Kippur, to apologize and ask their forgiveness.

Rabbi Y Y Rubinstein is a writer and author who speaks all over the world. He lives in Inwood.

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OCTOBER 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

A Fulfilled L fe

Last Chance By Rabbi Dr. Naphtali Hoff

recently traveled to Phoenix in order to present at a national conference for school business officials. When my teenagers found out where I was going, my trip quickly took on new meaning. To them, the conference was really only a means to a loftier purpose, which was to shop at a local clearance store called Last Chance. For the uninitiated (which included this author until very recently), Last Chance is Nordstrom’s only true clearance store in the country (as opposed to Nordstrom Rack, which offers savings when compared to Nordstrom stores but not to this degree). Clothes, shoes and accessories that end up here are sometimes new, sometimes used, and often damaged. This merchandise comes to Phoenix because it was accepted as a return somewhere along the way and could not be sold in any other Nordstrom store. Last Chance sells it at steep discount, and offers shoppers hope that they might to get their hands on high-end Italian and other products that would otherwise

be cost prohibitive for them. As you might imagine, shopping at this store has the feeling of being part Marshall’s, part Grand Central Station, and part Black Friday. For me, it was quite the experience. Shopping for my children with my outdated sense of style is hard enough (especially as one is a girl, for whom I was told that I have no sense of fashion). To do so while navigating through the bustling store made matters all the more interesting. Suffice it to say that any return trip to Phoenix will go unmentioned to my kids. But the fact that I wound up at Last Chance on the same day that we (Ashkenazim at least) began to recite Selichos was not lost on me. There was something about having this “last chance” to jostle with complete strangers over possible merchandise deals just hours after going to shul late at night to pour out my heart to my Maker. But instead of pursuing merchandise deals, we crammed together in hope for a different kind of deal, one that would get us through this judgment period despite our im-

perfections. Rosh Hashana presents an unusual paradox. On the one hand, focus is placed on the past. All of our deeds and thoughts from the outgoing year are assessed by our Maker as part of our judgment. In that respect, the Jewish New Year serves as a culmination for the year gone by. On the other hand, we call the day “Rosh” Hashana, which focuses us on the future, and the year that is now beginning. Our rabbis explain that this first of our High Holidays is both the end and the beginning. Hashem, as it were, uses our behaviors of the past as a way of determining how to empower us moving forward. The more that we have shown ourselves as deserving His blessing, the likelier He is to bestow it once again. This is the meaning of the phrase that we add in the Shemona Esrei during the Aseres Ymei Teshuva: “Zachreinu l’chaim…l’maancha Elokim chayim – remember us for life…for Your sake, Living G-d.” Our lives take on meaning only when they contribute to the goals of our Creator.

These last days of the year represent a final opportunity to end our year on a positive note and demonstrate a real commitment to change. Like the merchandise on Last Chance’s shelves, we may be in good condition or we may be, so to speak, damaged goods. But we gain comfort and confidence in knowing that regardless of our condition, there is a “Buyer” who willingly and devotionally invests in us and sees our inner beauty. The potential that lies within us holds us in good stead, despite the fact that it may remain largely untapped. May we merit on this coming Yom Hadin to reconnect with our vast potential and find ways to better harness it for its true purpose – to advance Hashem’s will in this world.

Rabbi Naphtali Hoff, PsyD, is an executive coach, organizational consultant and President of Impactful Coaching & Consulting. He can be reached at 212.470.6139 or at nhoff@impactful coaching.com.

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BOBKER ON YOM KIPPUR

The Art of Prepentance

rs. Gutle S ch napper, the renowned matriarch of the Rothschild dynasty, who, at the age of 96, complains to her doctor that she isn’t feeling well. Tests are done, nothing is found. But Gutle persists and persists.

“Madame,” the medic finally explodes, “I can’t make you any younger!” “I don’t want you to make me younger,” she snaps back. “I want you to make me older!” This is what all Jews want: to return to G-d the following Yom Kippur a year older. Whether they do or not depends on the

choices they make in-between. My friend Menachem once had a dilemma. He called me. He said, “Yossel, I’ve made a terrible mistake. You need to help me out.” “What’s up?” I asked. “Well, I have two tickets to the Super Bowl, front row, with first class airfares and a 5-star hotel and a stretch limousine already

paid for but I didn’t realize that it’s also the night of my wedding. You have to help me out. Please!” “OK, OK,” I said, “that’s what friends are for. What do you want me to do?” “You need to be at Ateres Avrohom in Williamsburg at 5:30. She’s the one in white. Her name is Suri.”

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I wonder if she ever forgave him for missing his chuppa? He had a choice to make. Free will was in play. The Torah recognizes that it would be unfair to judge a Jew on one mistake here, one mistake there, and views the entire gestalt of a person with the focus on the whole and not on the parts. And so Judaism does not “count” the first two sins but requires a pattern of behavior called a chazaka which comes into play if any bad act is repeated three or more times, an indication of the person as a whole. So if Menachem misses three of his weddings and leaves brides at the altar it’s a problem, especially if he shows no remorse or regret, the two human emotions that reveal an inherent “evil” and a more accurate reflection of an individual’s character. “Naturally, G-d will forgive me; that’s His business,” was Harry Heine’s smug attitude of certainty as he lay on his deathbed. Heine had reason to worry. When the great German Jewish poet from Düsseldorf, Rhineland, turned 28 he chucked his heritage, changed his name to Heinrich and converted to Christianity. His deathbed stab at satire is exactly the type of conceit that the rabbis of the Mishna warn us against. “If someone said, ‘I will sin and repent, and sin again and repent,’ he will be given no chance to repent. If he said, ‘I will sin and Yom Kippur will effect atonement,’ then the Day of Atonement effects no atonement.” In other words, if my friend Menachem was to repeat his “no show at the chuppa” several times on the basis that “G-d forgives anyway” he may be in for a surprise. This thought processes makes a mockery of moral realism and the Divine compassion for forgiveness. Trickery, deceit, and the exploitation of the Torah’s repentance mechanism, described by Chazal as nothing less than “a fierce fight with the heart,” were found intolerable.

What was tolerated was the approach of R’ Eliezer in Pirkei Avos; not to wait until Yom Kippur comes around but to “repent one day before you die!” You may ask the obvious: “But I do not know when I am going to die” – and get the answer: “Exactly! That is why we are enjoined to repent every day of our lives!”

The great ethicist R’ Yisrael Lipkin-Salantar suggests focusing on one character trait that is in need of improvement and rectifying it, slowly. R’ Avrohom Yeshaya Karelitz (Chazon Ish) agrees: focus on a specific mitzvah to overcome a specific fault. For example: The Jew who can’t help himself in displaying hate

The reward is the Mother of all Presents, a chance of further Life, gift-wrapped by G-d with the string of forgiveness. That’s easier said than done. I remember in cheder one year when my rebbi was teaching us about teshuva. “Kinder,” he asked, “what must we do before we can expect forgiveness for an aveira [sin]?” There was a long silence. This was a tough one for innocent 7-year-olds. Finally, I put my hand up and said, “Commit one!” The swelling from the patch eventually went away and I later opened the Rambam in search for a clue. And there it was. To do teshuva the Spanish sage recommends a spiritual diet which requires taking extreme measures to achieve the exact opposite of your negative character trait and then gradually moving back to the middle path. For example, if a Jew wants to cease being a miser, the solution is to overdose on charity and then move back to the required amount (10 percent).

(sinah) for others should concentrate on hospitality (hachnosos orchim). This definition of teshuva nullifies the theory that one can sin and sin and sin and expect to be forgiven this time of the year just by saying selichos, hearing the shofar, eating the apple dipped in honey, and fasting for 25 hours. Going through the motions is probably not going to sway the Heavens to grant another year. The Torah is explicit that there is something we can do about the fear of death. It is echoed by Dr. Sherman Bernard (born Shepsel Ber) Nuland, child of Ukrainian Orthodox Jewish immigrants, a Pulitzer Prize finalist from the Bronx with a medical degree from Yale, who shepped nachas when his daughter was asked to serve as U.S. ambassador to NATO, and who penned a book in 1994 called, How We Die: Reflections on Life’s Final Chapter.

Somewhere along the line the good doctor turned his back on Judaism and became an agnostic but simply couldn’t stop going to synagogue despite the obvious contradiction. In his book he writes, “The art of dying is the art of living.” He’s right. This is the underlying mystery and mastery of Yom Kippur. The Torah’s “art of living” requires fidelity to the Laws of Moses whilst its “art of dying” requires rectifying character blemishes.

om Kippur is often mistranslated as a “Day of Atonement.” However, the English verb “atone,” composed of at and one, was originally intended to mean reconciliation, not repentance. The Hebrew root of kippur means “to cover” or “hide,” with a secondary meaning, “to obliterate,” as in “sin,” and thus to expiate. The Hebrew word for fear (yirah) is derived from the root ra’a, which means “to see, apprehend.” Yom Kippur is thus a spiritually uplifting day that forces us to see, and thus appreciate, what life has to offer. The vehicle of teshuva, G-d’s second greatest gift after Life itself, has the capability of reversing Heaven’s punishment. This belief constitutes an enormous leap in the theology of forgiveness; full repentance can be achieved by mitigating the offender’s transgressions in our own mind. This does not mean that “everything is good” but that we must see “good in everything.” My friend Beryl woke up one morning very upset at having had a bitter fight with his wife the night before. He knew he was to blame. He had an anger problem. And he knew the cause by the large crate of beer bottles by his bed. He decided he had to do something; he had to do teshuva. He took the crate outside and started smashing the empty bottles one by one against a tree. As he smashed the first bottle

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into smithereens he swore at the empty bottle, “You are the reason I fight with my wife!” When he smashed the second empty beer bottle, he cursed at it, “You are the reason I’m not such a good father to my children!” He then destroyed a third bottle, “You are the reason I can’t hold down a decent job!” When Beryl picked up the fourth bottle, he paused. It was still sealed and full. He put it back in the crate. “You stand aside,” he said. “I know you were not involved!” Yom Kippur opens our eyes to a new vision of existence and jolts us into channeling our energies into a year of new and improved priorities. It is always a challenge, an uphill battle of Sisyphus proportions. But the reward is the Mother of all Presents, a chance of further Life, gift-wrapped by G-d with the string of forgiveness. This is why many Jews, no matter how indifferent they are to Judaism, view Yom Kippur as the primary Jewish religious experience. It was ever thus: the philosopher Philo Judaeus, who lived in Alexandria, Egypt, before the Temple’s destruction, described how nonobservant Jews became pious on this, the holiest day of the Jewish calendar. Fast forward to October 1965 and the opening of the World Series. It fell on Yom Kippur. The Dodgers were ready. But their great pitcher Sandy Koufax from Brooklyn (who lived in Rockville Center, LI) was MIA. He was not on the mound but in the synagogue. Why? Was Koufax Orthodox? No. But he understood that Jews, regardless of their level of religiosity, simply don’t work or play sports on this sacred day, known during the Second Temple period as “The Great Day.” Underlying the awe of Yom Kippur for all Jews is the fear that we may be deprived of the recognition of good things we’re done in the past. Do animals have this same reaction? One day a cat dies and goes to heaven. G-d meets him and says,

“I know you’ve been a good cat all these years. Is there anything you desire in return?” “Well, yes,” says the cat, “I had no soft bed to sleep on and was forced to rest on hardwood floors my whole life.” G-d smiles and suddenly a fluffy pillow appears and the cat settles into a post-life of comfort and purring. A few days later, several mice are killed in a tragic accident and show up. G-d meets them with the same offer He made the cat. “Well,” the mice say, “All our life we’ve had to run. We’ve been chased by cats, dogs, and even women with brooms. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn’t have to run anymore.” G-d smiles and suddenly each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates and they wheel away, feeling happy and safe. Several days later, G-d bumps into the cat. “Nu,” He asks, “how’s the pillow?” The cat yawns and stretches and says, “Oh, I’ve never been happier – and those Meals on Wheels you’ve been sending over are great!”

ol Nidrei, the bestknown liturgy amongst all Jews, whether affiliated or unaffiliated, stands for the “absolution of all vows” and dates back to the persecution of the anusim (crypto-Jews) of Spain and Portugal who spent their entire year denying their identity and religion – until the eve of Yom Kippur when the com-

munity would assemble, at great risk, and implore the Heavens to ignore their untruthful coerced vows. This brief moment, once a year, allowed the Jews-under-duress to celebrate their true inner faith. Its popularity hides the fact that Kol Nidrei is a latecomer to Jewish history, entering our tradition sometime between the 6th and 7 th centuries during the time of the Geonim, making its “official” debut in the first comprehensive siddur, the 9th century’s Seder Rav Amram Gaon. Believe it or not: Generations of rabbis and scholars were vehemently opposed to the liturgy; some called it a foolish custom, others were concerned that the masses would embrace it as a forbidden magical incantation capable of neutralizing demons and evil spirits who threatened those who do not fulfill their promises. Rashi’s grandson, R’ Ya’akov (Rabbeinu Tam), found Kol Nidrei halachically problematic, objecting to its lack of individuality (how can one annul one’s own vows in a group ceremony that does not even list the vows?), and insisted on using the future tense so that it would serve as a preexisting clause for future vows rather than an annulment of past vows. R’ Asher ben Yechiel (Rosh) disagreed and kept to the original text. Meanwhile the great Yeshiva Academies of Babylon and Spain simply ignored it, which perhaps explains why it is absent from any of the

writings of the Rambam nor does it appear in Sefer Ha-halachot, the first fundamental work on halacha from Algerian scholar, R’ Issac al-Fasi (Rif). Obviously, all concerns and objections came to naught. Kol Nidrei took on a religious life of its own, destined to become Yom Kippur’s singular, most extraordinary moment of drama; the Jewish masses, yearning for frankness and more honesty in their lives, continued to declare themselves modern-day anusim, an annual recognition that, at times, they also lived lives that clashed with their faith. With the poet’s refrain, Hass kategor v’kach sanegor m’komo, “Accuser, silence! Defender, take his place!” all Jews silently rise in an atmosphere of expectation and hope: all sifrei Torah are solemnly taken out of the ark, an eerie nigun begins with a whisper and a whimper and then rises to a crescendo of near-shouting as Jews remind G-d of His promise to forgive. God’s reply? “I have forgiven – as you asked.” Kol Nidrei is both sad and uplifting, its rhythm both haunting and rousing. Its poetry is majestic, its imagery powerful, its scripture intense and penetrating. Yet Kol Nidrei is not a prayer per se; in fact G-d’s name is not even mentioned. It is an emphatic legal proceeding, a dry earthly session of the Beis Din shel Mala where G-d adjudicates between angels pleading on our behalf and a prosecutorial Satan who is agitating for the death penalty. To begin Yom Kippur with Kol Nidrei seems strange. Why? Yom Kippur is supposedly a day in which we ask for forgiveness for the previous year, while Kol Nidrei begs for “absolution and retraction” for the upcoming year, from “this Yom Kippur till the next.” The past-future tension in Kol Nidrei’s absolutions is a reflection of the brutality of Jewish history. From year to year, Jews never knew what would be demanded of them by their hostile political and spiritual adversar-

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ies: conversion, expulsion, suicide? Anything was possible. If you were a Jew, for example, in medieval Spain, Italy or Turkey, the odds were that you would be asked to deny Torah and pledge allegiance to the Cross – or meet your Maker via the stake; and if you were a Jew in Eastern Europe, during the abominable Holocaust, safety sometimes came via the local monastery. Entire Jewish families led desperately troubled lives trying to cling to shreds of their heritage as full-time spies of a hungry Inquisition lurked around every corner. To abstain from eating pork or keeping Shabbos was a death sentence. Jewish women would light candles on Friday nights in pitch-black cellars and spend the following holy day at their spinning wheels pretending to work. The Kol Nidrei terminology has its genesis in tragedy and

suffering and oppression: it was devised for these unfortunate Jews, acting as an annual halachic exit strategy, a mechanism

the congregation to greater devotion, the mood shifts into a different consciousness. The gates of Heaven are about to close, our

From year to year, Jews never knew what would be demanded of them by their hostile political and spiritual adversaries: conversion, expulsion, suicide? that provided a release, in advance, to annul any future vows of apostasy that Jews were forced to declare just to stay alive. But by the time we get to Ne’ila’s special melody, designed to stir the emotions and impel

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final plea about to be admitted. We replace the word kesiva (inscribed) with chasima (sealed), leave the Ark open as everyone stands, symbolically awaiting entry, say Avinu Malkeinu for the last time, and then the relieved

masses shout in unison: Shema Yisroel Hashem Elokeinu, Hashem echad! Baruch shem kavod malchuso l’olam va’ed! Hashem hu haElokim! The day ends with a long blast of the shofar accompanied by the song that originally entered Jewish liturgy in Babylon as a protest anthem: L’shana haba’a b’Yerushalayim! “Next year in Jerusalem!”

Joe Bobker, alumnus of Yeshivas HaRav Kook in Jerusalem, is the former publisher and editor-in-chief of the Los Angeles Jewish Times, author of the popular Torah With a Twist of Humor and the 18-volume “Historiography of Orthodox Jews and the Holocaust,” the first of which, “War Against the Rabbis: Hitler’s Assault Against Judaism,” will be published this year around Shavuos. Mr. Bobker can be reached at jbobker@ gmail.com.

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The Forest Cantor By Rabbi Yerachmiel Tilles

ense weeks and months crawled by, with Zalman Bronstein forced to spend most of them lying motionless in muddy foxholes on the Russian battlefields of World War II. Whenever he trained his rifle on the German enemy only a few dozen meters away, he knew well that his counterpart was simultaneously aiming at him, waiting patiently for an opportunity. His thoughts were constantly on his wife and three children; this supplied him the strength to struggle on against the ominous threat of the warfront. The blood-saturated battles between the Russians and invading German forces had already stretched on for over a year. Tens of thousands of young men had already paid with their lives. The two sides were of equal strength and no end to the war was in sight. During a brief lull in the shooting, a squad of Russian soldiers arrived to relieve their comrades. Zalman crawled slowly and carefully to his bunker, sank onto a plank, and tried to doze off

for the short time before he would be ordered back to his battle post. Suddenly a Russian officer entered the bunker, humming an upbeat marching tune, and began to shave. Zalman opened his eyes, annoyed. He couldn’t figure out why an officer would have decided to shave in the tent of the common foot-soldier draftees. And the officer’s off-tune singing aggravated him even more. “Comrade Officer! Excuse me, but I have to tell you that in the original version, that song is sung differently.” The officer turned towards him with a look of surprise on his face. “You know this song? If so, you must sing it for me. I can’t get along without it.” Zalman tried to refuse, insisting that in his present downtrodden state of mind he couldn’t possibly sing a cheerful song, but the officer wouldn’t relent. With a shrug, Zalman began to sing. After a few bars, the officer’s face lit up with pleasure. When he finished singing, the officer’s expression became fierce. He began

to rail against the Russian Army leadership. “How can it be that they sent such a gifted singer like you to the front? This is an unforgivable outrage. I shall raise this issue with headquarters as soon as possible, even today.” Zalman dismissed the officer’s words as polite exaggeration, and promptly forgot about them. After a brief rest, it was back to his regular battlefield duties and terrors. The next few days were filled with pitched explosive battles. Several times Zalman felt death was near, but he survived through verita-

ble miracles. In those desperate situations he pictured in front of his eyes the face of his holy rebbe, Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak Schneersohn of Lubavitch. He felt secure in the knowledge that the Rebbe was praying for his wellbeing. Suddenly an announcement blared over the bunker’s loudspeaker system. “Paging the singer Bronstein. Report to headquarters immediately.” Zalman hurried to present himself before the commanding officer of the bunker. The latter told him, “I just received an order to transfer you to officers’ headquarters. Get your things right now and crawl

out there. But be careful! One wrong move on the way could mean your doom.” Zalman began his crawl along the muddy earth, his belongings on his back and his heart full of suspicion. What could possibly be the reason behind this incomprehensible transfer? Only when he reached his destination and was told to report to a high officer in the Culture Division who was in charge of the Army choir, did he realize the connection between what was happening and the words of that officer in the bunker before whom he had sung the battle song. The choir leader told him that he must now sing before

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The date for the next concert, the most important one on the itinerary, was already set. They were to perform before an audience of hundreds of commissioned military doctors. However, the date coincided with Yom Kippur, the holiest of holy occasions. Zalman was firm in his mind that no matter what the consequences, he could not and would not perform on the holy day.

a group of very high-ranking officers. Zalman well realized that his future depended on the success of his performance. He started by singing the same military marching tune, but this time with a lot more feeling. The officers reacted boisterously with excitement and appreciation. Each one wanted Zalman to be assigned to his own unit so that he could give a concert to the brigade under his command. They began to quarrel with each other about who had the top priority. Finally, they came up with an arrangement that made it possible to schedule their new star to perform in

front of many different platoons. So Zalman became the lead soloist in the Army choir, and they traveled from base to base giving performances. Everywhere they went, the Russian officers in charge were very friendly to Zalman. His performances and popularity became a particular source of pride for all the Jewish soldiers. At one of the concerts a Jewish officer passed him a note requesting that he sing something in Yiddish. He complied, choosing a song that he felt would be sure to arouse in the Jewish soldiers memories of their religious roots.

On Yom Kippur morning, he informed the musical director that he had terrible pains in his head and throat and that it would be impossible for him to sing on stage. The director pressured him to change his mind, but Zalman was adamant; he could not possibly sing this day. The director had no choice but to accept that the choir would have to perform without its star soloist. Zalman retired to his room, where he devoted himself to the Yom Kippur morning prayers, those which he was able to remember by heart. Afterwards he began reciting Psalms, while in the background he could hear strains of singing and musical instruments from the military concert that was proceeding without him. Several sharp knocks on his door broke his concentration. Three officers, whose epaulets indicated very high rank, quickly entered the room. “Are you Zalman Bronstein?” one of them queried. He nodded, whereupon of the other officers demanded, “Do you know what day is today?” Zalman was taken aback by the unexpected question, and upon reflection, a bit afraid. He took a moment to compose himself, then answered calmly with the truth. “Yes. It is Yom Kippur.” His guests’ faces softened visibly. “We too are Jews,”

they said. “Please, could you sing for us a few sections of the holy day’s prayers?” Zalman felt great relief upon hearing of their Jewish identity and at the same time felt compassion for them. Nevertheless, he demurred, “How can I sing for you? In order to escape having to go on stage, I arranged to be officially registered on the sick list as ‘unable to sing because of head and throat pains.’” The three officers did not give up. They presented a possible solution. “In back of the camp is a thick forest. Let’s go deep inside it; then we can hear you pray and sing without anyone around to bother us.” Their excitement was contagious. Zalman could feel how strongly they desired to be reminded of their parents’ homes and of the Jewish life they tasted as children. They entered the forest. Under a tree with a thick trunk and large, draping branches, Zalman stood facing the three Jewish officers. He closed his eyes and began to intone softly “Kol Nidre,” the opening prayer of Yom Kippur evening with its traditional haunting melody. He repeated it a second and third time, following custom, each time successively louder. After Kol Nidre he switched to “Unesana Tokef,” the thrilling lyrical invocation that is the highlight of the cantor’s repetition of Mussaf, the “additional prayer” recited on Yom Kippur (and Rosh Hashana) morning. He became absorbed in the intense phrases, singing each one with deep feeling. On Rosh Hashana they are inscribed, and on the fast day Yom Kippur they are sealed: How many shall pass away and how many shall be

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born; …who shall live out his allotted time and who shall depart before his time; …who shall be at rest and who shall wander; who shall be tranquil and who shall be harassed; who shall enjoy well-being and who shall suffer tribulation; who shall be poor and who shall be rich; who shall be humbled and who shall be exalted. Zalman concluded his mini-performance with the popular lively Lubavitcher tune for “Hu Elokeinu, Hu Aveinu – He is our G-d, He is our Father” – usually sung in unison by the congregation during the repetition of Mussaf shortly after “Unesana Tokef.” He exhaled deeply and slowly opened his eyes. The sight that met them remained imprinted in his memory for the rest of his life. The three officers were bent over, sobbing like little children. In the midst of lethal war, their futures concealed in the smoke of daily battle, three Jewish souls became revealed in a forest, flaming brightly with Yom Kippur holiness. “Who knows?” he couldn’t help thinking to himself. “This could be the reason that Heaven directed the steps of that non-Jewish officer to me that morning in the bunker.” Source: Translated-adapted by Yerachmiel Tilles from the Hebrew weekly Sichat Shavua #1081. Reprinted with permission from Festivals of the Full Moon from Menorah Books, which is now part of the Koren Publishers and Toby Press family of publishing companies, by Rabbi Yerachmiel Tilles to be launched on November 1.

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Yom Kippur Bridging the Gap By Larry Domnitch

It was the First World War. They were soldiers on opposing sides but they were fellow Jews. Some fought for Russia, part of the Entente, and others fought for the opposing Germany of the Central Powers. On one Yom Kippur in 1917, in a German prisoner of war camp, German and Russian Jews while praying together also bridged the cultural differences between them.

r. Yaakov Wygodski was a Russian Jewish prisoner of war who described his visit to the synagogue of POW camp in Zele for Kol Nidrei prayers. “Dozens of German Jewish civilians and some Jewish German soldiers occupied the first benches in the upper eastern sections. All remaining benches were occupied by Jewish Russian POW soldiers in their much overused army clothes, with gray-striped trousers and stripes on the left sleeve indicating the status of prisoner of war.” Wygodski was the only civilian prisoner at the service, and so as not to be taken for a German Jew (according to the seating arrangement, no one wanted to sit next to a civilian prisoner), he gave up sitting in the section above and sat down together with the military prisoners of war. This was a scene similar to many others during the First World War where German and Russian Jews encountered each other. The German synagogues were different from those from Eastern Europe. The Germans prayed in an orderly fashion, usually led by a cantor. The Eastern European Jews prayed in a less organized manner and in more passionate tone, crying out and expressing their own emotions. In Wygodski’s words, “The prayers of German Jews have a collective character, while Polish-Lithuanian Jews’ prayers have a more individual character!” At Kol Nidrei, a very large and strong Jewish artillery sub-officer, about 30-years-old, from a Polish shtetl, covered by a long, heavy custom-made tallit, was standing near Wygodski. He was very distressed over the German customs. “Dear Mr. Dr., tell me is this a way

Jewish soldiers at military Yom Kippur synagogue service, World War I

to pray? Is this our holy Yom Kippur?” he asked Wygodski. “German prayers are slightly different from ours,” he answered, trying to calm him down: “Their way of praying is not so bad!” His words failed to assuage him.

of fear! In our synagogue, when we cry, the cry is the cry of a tormented Jewish heart and rises to the heaven! We take our Kol Nidrei very seriously!” As he spoke he wildly waved his hands as if throwing away something distasteful.

“You and I, when we pray, we tremble during Kol Nidrei, even a fish in the water would tremble!”

“Gevalt! Gevalt! For you to say this!” the soldier replied. “Their prayers, G-d forgive me for what I am about to say, have no real emotion! You and I, when we pray, we tremble during Kol Nidrei, even a fish in the water would tremble! When someone comes into our synagogue, he immediately feels a sense of terror,

He continued, “If you want to talk loudly or groan as an expression of your tormented soul, the pleasant gabbai will come and hiss at you telling you to stop!” Another soldier, standing nearby, angrily added. “This is unheard of! For a whole year, we hold everything inside, then comes our holy

Yom Kippur and we want to cry out and argue with G-d: Almighty G-d! How is this possible? How much more torment are Jews to suffer? Are they not already lying pitifully on their faces? Is this also not allowed to us! I have never heard or want to hear about this!” He continued, “With us, in our Great Synagogue, Yom Kippur is received in fear! A terror! A real Day of Judgment; we sing Kol Nidrei, we hum together the prayer Unetana tokef – the earth trembles! What happens here, what we see here is a real Yom Kippur?” The closer the prayers came to the end, the more frequently soldiers cried out tearful words and deep sighs, while the gabbaim would immediately shout: “Shhh! Be quiet,” and the crowd once again was silenced. Suddenly, near the end of prayers, a tearful voice from a single Jewish soldier was heard. With a deep broken heart, with eyes and hands uplifted, he cried aloud: “Gevalt, G-d! Almighty G-d! Have mercy upon your poor people!” His words had a powerful impact on the members of the congregation who were all been affected by the immense horrors of the war. The gabbaim forgot to silence people, everyone bowed their head and tears appeared in the eyes of all the congregants.1 They were at once united. That Yom Kippur amid the horrors of the war, Jews from opposing sides and with different customs and mannerisms were united by their sorrows and commonality as Jews, crying out to their common Creator to end their suffering. 1 In Gehenem, Vol.II (7)

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Could Israel Have Prevented the Yom Kippur War? Three years too late, Golda Meir understood how war could have been avoided By Abraham Rabinovich

She

had been sleeping poorly for several nights but this morning she was wakened into her nightmare – a ringing telephone at 3:45 a.m. on Yom Kippur. It was her military aide, Gen. Yisrael Lior, passing on a message from Mossad chief Zvi Zamir who had just met in London with his most valued source. War, said Lior. This day, before dark. For all her toughness and experience, Golda Meir had never imagined leading her nation into war. “What do we do now, Yisrael?” she asked. The threat had been in the air since the Egyptians began moving large forces into the Suez Canal zone a week before. Military Intelligence Chief Eli Zeira assured her and the general staff that it was only a military exercise. She remained uneasy but didn’t challenge a roomful of generals who were counseling calm. She had been confident since the Six Day War that Israel’s geopolitical situation had never been better and that the Arabs, who still refused to recognize Israel, would eventually bow to reality. In December 1970, she rejected a proposal by Defense Minister Moshe Dayan that Israel pull back 20 miles from the canal in order to enable its reopening and thereby

reduce Egypt’s motivation for going to war. Two months later, the new Egyptian president, Anwar Sadat, reshaped Dayan’s proposal and adopted it as his own. In an address to the Egyptian National Assembly he proposed a partial Israeli pullback. He saw it, however, as a means of catalyzing, not indefinitely postponing, a final withdrawal from Sinai. Sadat startled his listeners by declaring his readiness for peace but only if Israel agreed to withdraw from all territory captured in 1967, including East Jerusalem, and resolving the Palestinian refugee problem. Meir was content to wait indefinitely – without conciliatory gestures, as the Americans urged – until Egypt was prepared to meet her demands: border changes and recognition of Israel. Now, on Yom Kippur morning, 1973, she faced the consequences of that stand. She had spent the night not in her official Jerusalem residence but in her Tel Aviv apartment. Arriving at her office in Tel Aviv, she had to wait for two hours while her two senior military advisors – Defense Minister Moshe Dayan and the chief of staff, General David Ela-

zar – debated what to recommend to her. Elazar wanted a preemptive air strike against the Syrian army, which was closer to the Israeli heartland than the Egyptian army, and full mobilization of the reserves. Dayan was dubious about the Mossad’s war warning – there had been similar warnings before from the same source which proved false alarms, he noted. He opposed a preemptive strike and favored only limited mobilization since full mobilization in the absence of fighting could itself be taken as an act of war. At 8:05 a.m., the two veteran warhorses took their dispute to Meir, a 75-year-old grandmother who did not even know what an army division was. The prime minister smoked cigarette after cigarette as they made their cases. The officers and advisers present squinted from the acrid smoke filling the room. She hemmed uncertainly for a few moments but then made a clear decision. Yes on mobilization. No on a preemptive strike. The Americans opposed Israel making a habit of preemptive strikes and Israel might soon be needing American political and logistical assistance. (As it happened, cloud conditions over Syria would have prevented a preemptive strike.

In addition, as the air force would soon discover, it was unable to penetrate the Arabs’ anti-aircraft missile defenses.) Meir made one decision as a grandmother rather than as a prime minister. Dayan suggested that children be brought down from the kibbutzim on the Golan Heights before the fighting started. He said that buses would bring them down in the late afternoon under the pretense of taking them on an outing. If the war warning had dissipated by then, the trip would be canceled and they would be spared an outcry from the religious sector at the government organizing an excursion on Yom Kippur. According to the Mossad’s agent, the Arab attack would not come before sundown. Meir overruled Dayan. The children must be brought down this morning, she said. The Arabs, in fact, had made a last-minute change in zero hour, moving it up to 2 p.m. when a massive barrage would descend on the Golan Heights. All her decisions had been sound and they would remain so for the duration of the war. Common sense and political savvy would serve her well in the unfamiliar terrain of military matters. She would leave the running of the war to others but her input

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Golda Meir devastated by the news of the capture of Bar Lev line by the Egyptian army

would periodically be required. As soon as the meeting was over at 9:30 a.m. and the signal given to begin mobilizing the reserves, Meir met with American ambassador Kenneth Keating and his assistant, Nicholas Veliotes, whom she had urgently summoned. The diplomats were stunned when she said Israel expected to be attacked on two fronts that day. They had been assured by CIA reports and the Israelis themselves only a few days before that there was

An officer distributing mail from home to soldiers in one of the forward positions on Mount Hermon, October 11, 1973 (Photo Credit GPO-Eitan Harris)

was about to happen, the U.S. was a critical anchor and Dinitz, a former director of the Prime Minister’s Office, was a channel she could rely on. There were no flights from Israel on Yom Kippur but Gen. Lior arranged for an executive jet from Israel Aircraft Industries to fly Dinitz to Rome where he boarded a commercial flight for Washington. At 12:30 p.m., Meir met with the cabinet, all except the religious min-

Even as Meir declared the meeting closed, sirens began to wail in the streets outside. no danger of war. Meir assured them that Israel would not strike first. If the Arab moves were dictated by a misreading of Israeli intentions, she said, Washington should assure them that Israel had no intention of attacking. Keating asked whether it was certain that Israel would not preempt. “You can be sure,” she repeated. In his report to Washington, the ambassador quoted Meir as saying, “We might be in trouble.” Waiting outside the prime minister’s office when Keating emerged, looking pale, was Israel’s ambassador to Washington, Simha Dinitz. He had arrived a few days before for the funeral of his father. “You’ve got to return to Washington immediately,” Meir said when he entered. Whatever

isters who had not come down from Jerusalem. She was pale and her eyes were downcast as she walked slowly to her chair at the head of the table. Her hair, normally neatly combed and pulled back, was disheveled and she looked like she had not shut her eyes all night. For the first time, her ministers saw an old woman sitting in the prime minister’s chair, slightly bent. She lit a cigarette, leafed briefly through a pile of papers in front of her, and declared the meeting open. She began with a detailed report of events over the past few days – the Arab deployment on the borders that had suddenly taken on ominous color, the hasty evacuation of the families of Soviet advisers from Egypt and Syria, the air photos, the insistence

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Prime Minister Golda Meir and Cabinet members visiting the southern command, October 29, 1973

by military intelligence that there would be no war despite mounting evidence to the contrary. The military leaders were divided, she said, over whether war would break out, over mobilization and a preemptive strike. She spoke in a monotone, sounding like a judge reading out a sentence. Then she reached the bottom line. In the early hours of this morning, word had been received from an unimpeachable source that war would break out at 6 p.m. this day on both the Egyptian and Syrian fronts. The ministers were stunned. They had not been made privy to the Arab buildup. Furthermore, they had been told for years that even in a worst-case situation military intelligence would provide at least a 48hour warning to call up the reserves before war broke out. Now they were told that a two-front war was less than six hours away with the reserves, constituting two-thirds of the army, still unmobilized. Meir asked Dayan to describe the situation along the two fronts. Despite her depressed look, her voice had been firm. But there appeared to be a tremor in Dayan’s voice.

He looked like a man whose certainties had suddenly crumbled. As he neared the end of his review, an aide entered and handed him a note. The defense minister announced that Egyptian planes were attacking in Sinai. Even as Meir declared the meeting closed, sirens began to wail in the streets outside. Dayan, for long Israel’s icon, was unnerved by the situation Israel now found itself in. Military intelligence had what was supposed to be a failsafe system that would let it know if the Arabs planned to attack in ample time to mobilize the reserves. It had failed to activate the system because premature activation risked its exposure, and Gen. Zeira, despite all the evidence, did not believe the Arabs would dare attack. For two days or so, Dayan suffered a failure of nerve and spread despondency among his peers by warning that Israel faced destruction. When he spoke to the inner cabinet after

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Israeli troops rushing up to the northern frontier with the outbreak of the war, October 7, 1973 (Photo Credit GPO-Eitan Harris)

returning from flying visits to both fronts Sunday morning, Meir, who had dark thoughts enough of her own, listened to him “in horror,” as she would write. She would acknowledge that she had thoughts of suicide. As the cabinet meeting broke up, she telephoned her long-time aide, Ms. Lou Kedar, whose office was next door. “Meet me in the corridor,” she said. There were other people still in Meir’s office and she wanted a private space. Although she had the

But he had spoken of surrendering territory — pulling back from the Bar-Lev Line — and of his belief that it would be impossible to force the Egyptians back across the canal. When Meir asked what his reaction would be if the UN ordered a ceasefire, he said he would grab it. He offered his resignation but she rejected it. Meir stared hollowly at Kedar, her mind elsewhere. The wait seemed interminable. Slowly, the expression on

Kedar would remember the prime minister leaning heavily against the wall and saying in a low and terrible voice, “Dayan is speaking of surrender.” country’s top political and military advisers on hand she could share her deepest feelings only with an old friend. When Kedar emerged into the corridor, Meir was already waiting for her. Kedar was shocked at her pallor, which matched the gray jacket she was wearing. There was despair in her face. Kedar would remember the prime minister leaning heavily against the wall and saying in a low and terrible voice, “Dayan is speaking of surrender.” If Dayan had used that word, it is inconceivable that he used it in the conventional sense and none of the many other people who had been in the room would ever suggest he did.

Meir’s face began to change and color seeped back into her cheeks. “Get Simha,” she said. Kedar heard the familiar determination once again in her voice. Through Ambassador Dinitz she would begin to pressure the American administration for arms. Many excruciating days still lay ahead, but psychologically the prime minister had touched bottom and begun to regain her balance. The previous spring, at a meeting in her Jerusalem home with her top military and civilian advisers to discuss indications of a possible Arab attack, Meir said that if war appeared likely Washington should be asked to head

it off. Her closest adviser, Minister Yisrael Galili, reminded her of the meeting between Henry Kissinger and Hafez Ismail, Sadat’s national security adviser, which the Americans had informed them about. Ismail had declared Egypt’s willingness to make peace in return for a complete Israeli pullback. Galili later returned to this theme, as if fearing that his previous remark may have been too oblique. “There is also a possibility that we can avoid all this mess [the danger of war] if we are prepared to enter into talks on the basis of returning to the previous border.” From the protocol, Galili’s remark sounds more like an observation than a proposal, but the fact that he voiced it twice suggests that the veteran political adviser, of hawkish bent, thought it perhaps worthy of exploration. Meir, however, declined to pursue it. She was against war but she was also against total withdrawal. “Neither war nor threat of war” would divert Israel from its insistence on defensible borders, she said. Defensible borders “by their very existence will dissuade our neighbors from touching us.” Her position embraced the premise that the Arabs had no viable war option. This had now been proven wrong. On the fourth day of the war, Dayan, who had by now returned to himself, proposed that all efforts be made to knock Syria out of the war, including the bombing of Damascus, so that the army could concentrate on the Egyptian front. Meir objected to

bombing Damascus. If civilians were hurt, she said, the Americans might hold up arms shipment. But when she put the question to Galili he said, “We have to do it.” It was pointed out that the Syrians had fired Frog missiles which caused casualties in Kibbutz Gvat and the town of Migdal Haemek, justifying an attack on Syrian urban areas. She finally gave her assent to the attack as long as it was confined to military targets. By that afternoon, the last Syrian troops were driven from the Golan Heights in a remarkable drive by the Israeli tank corps. The policy makers now faced one of the most important decisions of the war — to cross the ceasefire line and drive towards Damascus or to dig on again along the line and send a division to the southern front to help drive the Egyptians back across the canal. The final decision would be Meir’s. Although she did not presume to understand military strategy, she well understood political strategy. It would take four days, she was told, to move substantial forces to the southern front. During that period, there was a chance the UN might order a ceasefire. If that happened, the war would end with Egypt holding a strip of territory in Sinai that it had captured from Israel and Israel would be holding no captured territory at all. She came down firmly for an immediate attack into Syria. She did commit one potentially serious tactical error on the tenth day of the war. Finding a gap in the Egyptian lines, General Ariel Sharon

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Haim Bar-Lev (center L) consults with Ariel Sharon (with bandage) and Moshe Dayan (cap) during the Yom Kippur War. (Photo credit GPO-Flash 90)

had put a tank force across the canal on motorized rafts. It was supposed to protect the site where a pontoon bridge would be thrown across but its presence was kept secret lest the Egyptians attack it with a nearby

Golda Meir with President Richard Nixon and Henry Kissinger in the Oval Office on March 1, 1973, a few months before the war

end of the war, the prime minister made a visit to the southern front to talk to the troops. “How could we have been so unready?” asked one soldier of Meir who sat on a chair between Dayan and Elazar. She was

“You must take my word seriously,” it said. “When I threatened war, I meant it. When I talk of peace now, I mean it.” armored division. Unaware of the secrecy, Meir could not contain herself after all the grim news she had digested until now. “As we convene,” she said from the Knesset podium, “an IDF task force is operating on the west bank of the Suez Canal.” Fortunately for Israel, Sadat dismissed her statement as “psychological warfare.” In the third week of the war, Secretary of State Kissinger stopped off briefly in Tel Aviv on his way back from Moscow where he had been hammering out the terms of a Middle East ceasefire with Kremlin leaders. When he asked Meir if she thought Sadat would survive the military setbacks of the final days, she said he would. “He is the hero. He dared.” Kissinger told Dayan that Israel had been wise not to preempt. If it had, Dayan would recall him saying, it would not have received so much as a nail from the U.S. Before flying to Washington at the

not an expert on military matters, she said, and relied in this area on the two men alongside her. This infuriated a battalion commander who shouted, “Because you don’t understand these things I lost 48 men?” Other officers calmed him down. The strain of the war was imprinted on Meir when she arrived in Washington. “The war had devastated her,” Kissinger would write. After returning home, she received a note passed on to her by Kissinger. It was from Sadat. “You must take my word seriously,” it said. “When I threatened war, I meant it. When I talk of peace now, I mean it. We have the services of Dr. Kissinger. Let us use him and talk to each other through him.” Her first reaction was “Why is he doing this?” but she recovered quickly. In a note she sent Sadat via Kissinger, she wrote, “I am deeply conscious of the significance of a message received by the prime minister of Israel from the president of

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Golda Meir and Anwar Sadat sharing a laugh

Egypt. I sincerely hope that these contacts will continue and prove to be an important turning point in our relations.” In a talk to the Labor Party Central Committee a month after the war she expressed contrition for the first time publicly at having rejected Dayan’s proposal three years earlier. “I didn’t understand what he was talking about,” she confessed. “We should just propose pulling back from the canal?” She did not elaborate but the implications were enormous. Had she understood that the Bar-Lev Line was a death trap as Ariel Sharon and other generals contended, the war would have taken a very different course, if it had broken out at all. Elections to the Knesset, postponed from October because of the war, were held on December 31. It was too soon for voting patterns to have changed and Meir was reelected, albeit with five fewer seats. She asked Dayan to stay on as defense minister. Three months later, the Agranat Commission of Inquiry issued its interim findings calling for the resignation of Elazar, Zeira and other

officers. It absolved Meir and Dayan, a finding which touched off widespread public protests, including mass demonstrations. A week later, Meir, weary and attuned to public sentiment, announced that she was stepping down, obliging new elections. She reappeared on the Knesset podium in November 1977 as a special guest when Sadat made his historic visit to Jerusalem. Responding to his address to the Knesset, Meir expressed her hope from the podium that “even an old lady like myself” will live to see peace between the countries (still two years off). “Yes, yes, you always call me an old lady.” A photograph of them sharing a hearty laugh would come to be seen as more evocative of the potential of peace than any treaty.

The writer is author of The Yom Kippur War.

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Choosing the pe Suit Central is mrfect suit at uch easier

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Shimon Peres

A Controversial and Combative Leader By Nachum Soroka

he death of Shimon Peres last week symbolized the closing of the beginning chapters of the State of Israel. David Ben Gurion himself, Israel’s first prime minister, whom Peres fought beneath in the Haganah while the country was still Palestine, appointed the 29-year-old Peres to his first governmental position in 1953 as Israel’s first Director of Defense. He was

active in politics until 2014, when the term to his (largely ceremonial) presidency was complete. Originally a hawkish leader who was one of the masterminds of Israel’s’ nuclear program (which is still officially a secret), Peres helped start the left wing Labor party in the 1960s and was eventually the catalyst of the Oslo Accords in 1993 and the recipient of the 1994 Nobel Peace Prize. He was the last surviving founding father of

the state. Born Szymon Perski in 1923 in modern day Belarus to a timber merchant and librarian, Peres was a descendant of Rav Chaim Volozhin zt”l. His grandfather was responsible for teaching him Gemara and all Jewish matter, as his parents were not observant. He one time related, “At one point, I heard my parents listening to the radio on the Sabbath and I smashed it.” He recalled being taken to

the Chofetz Chaim as a child and receiving a bracha, for which he credited his survival and success in politics. He later said of his grandfather, “I remember the last words and the order that I heard from his mouth: ‘My boy, always remain a Jew!’” Many of his family members were murdered in the Holocaust. His grandfather was among those locked in the shul and burned by the Nazis. In 1932, the Perski fam-

ily emigrated to Tel Aviv, and Shimon helped found Kibbutz Alumot in 1936. Always active in the Zionist movement, he was elected to the HaNoar HaOved VeHaLomed national secretariat, where the promising youth came under the attention of David Ben Gurion, the head of Mapai, Peres’s party. In 1944, on a clandestine map-making mission to Eilat, a friend suggested he change his name to Peres – which means a

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With Prime Minister Rabin and the released hostages from the famous Entebbe raid in 1976 Defense Minister Peres with Yitzhak Rabin

With Ben Gurion at Israel’s nuclear reactor in Dimona

nest of eagles – after sighting an eagle, and the name stuck. Perhaps with a tinge of irony, the bird sighted was most likely a vulture. In 1945 Peres married Sonya Gelman and in 1946 was sent to the Zionist Congress in Basel, Switzerland, along with Moshe Dayan. Shortly before Israel’s establishment, Peres joined the Haganah. In 1948, after being named head of the nascent country’s navy, the 27-yearold Peres left to New York on a mission, knowing no English. Within three months he was fluent in the language and was able to study at NYU, New School and Harvard. He was a polyglot, speaking Polish, French, English, Russian, Yiddish and Hebrew. Peres was a polarizing figure who at many times

was motivated only by a desire for power, something which he was never able to completely attain. He only served briefly as de facto prime minister at a couple of junctures – such as after the assassination of Yitzchak Rabin –despite having bid for the office on numerous occasions. His two short stints in Israel’s top office did not come through popular vote. Indeed, Peres’s split in 1965 with his original party, Mapai, was because of differences he and Ben Gurion had with the other members of the party. The newly formed party, Rafi, ended up reconciling with Mapai, but in the course of the political turmoil overtaking the country in the months leading up to the Six Day War, the fractious environment in the Knesset Peres helped create allowed

Ben Gurion’s sworn enemy, Menachem Begin, who led the far-right Cherut party, to gain legitimacy. Begin was eventually awarded the prime minister’s office in 1977, perhaps only because of the events caused by Peres a decade earlier. Originally a self described hawk who followed in the footsteps of his mentor, Ben Gurion, Peres was one of the earliest champions of settlements in the West Bank and other disputed territories. In 1956 he was awarded the highest

and Britain. His special relationship with the French, who ended up providing the necessary expertise in building the Dimona nuclear reactor later, proved critical to Israel. “I reached the stage in France where I was trusted by everybody, and really the sky was the limit,” Peres boasted many years later. But politics forced his views to evolve, and in the 1970s he began to distance himself from the settlement movement. Peres even met secretly with King Hus-

graces of Turkey. His stance forced the Israeli Foreign Ministry into the awkward position of appeasing Armenian survivors while not stepping on Turkey’s toes. In 1996, Peres founded the Peres Center for Peace, which has the aim of “promot[ing] lasting peace and advancement in the Middle East by fostering tolerance, economic and technological development, cooperation and well-being.” As president he ceaselessly pressed for peace. “The Palestinian problem

“For 60 years I was the most controversial figure in the country, and suddenly I’m the most popular man in the land. Truth be told, I don’t know when I was happier, then or now.”

medal of the French Legion of Honor for his role negotiating $1 billion in arms sales from France to Israel, which allowed Israel to attack Egypt though the Sinai, a military operation known as the Suez Crisis involving Israel, the U.S., France

sein of Jordan in the 1980s in London, in the hopes of reaching a peaceful agreement with the Palestinians. He sought to placate many of Israel’s hostile neighbors, going so far as to downplay the Armenian genocide in order to get in the good

isn’t the main problem in the Middle East. But there are a billion and a half Muslims. The Palestinian problem affects our entire relationship with them. Peace is not an exciting thing, and it entails accepting many compromises and tedious

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 7, 2016

OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Yasser Arafat, Shimon Peres and Yitzhak Rabin receiving the Nobel Peace Prize

Smiling at Yasser Arafat

details,” he told the New York Times. Most recently, he created a firestorm in Israel, when, as president, he publically disagreed with Prime Minister Netanyahu’s desire to attack Iranian nuclear facilities, despite opposition from Washington. “I cannot tell you what Bibi’s considerations are on the subject of Iran. I am not his spokesman and also not Barak’s. Israel cannot solve the problem alone,” he said. “There is a limit to what we can do.” The man who helped create the nuclear reactors in Dimona and headed the country’s navy in the most tremulous times was offering up dovish views. Still, he made sure

to let it be known that Israel would not sit idly as Mahmoud Ahmadinejad spoke of genocide. “The president of Iran should remember that Iran can also be wiped off the map,” he told Army radio.

eres’s political life was very much intertwined with that of his primary adversary and Labor party companion, Yitzchak Rabin. The two rivals’ career vicissitudes often negatively correlated. In 1973, Peres sought leadership of the party after the Yom Kippur War, and Rabin was recruited from within the

With Prime Minister Ben Gurion and Moshe Dayan in the 1960s

party ranks to oppose him. Rabin won that battle and again in 1976, after the Air France hijacking in Uganda, Peres led a bid to have Rabin replaced as prime minister with himself. He finally was able to take over the party’s top spot, if only for a month, after Rabin was forced to step down after a scandal involving his wife having a foreign bank account – which was illegal at the time – came to light. But by then Menachem Begin’s party had enough seats to wrest control from Labor. Again, in 1984, Peres was able to briefly serve as prime minister, but only under a “rotation” agreement with Likud leader Yitzchak Shamir, who took over after Peres served two years. Then in 1990, Peres secretly looked to undermine Shamir’s leadership by aligning with Agudah in an attempt to dissolve the coalition in place at the time with a no confidence vote for the Likud government in place. But Peres’s movement, which became known as Hatargil Hamaasriach, the “Dirty Trick,” quickly came apart after Rav Schach, Hacham Ovadia Yosef and the Lubavitcher Rebbe con-

demned the idea of religious politicians serving in a leftist government. At the time Rabin denigrated Peres, saying, “This bluff and corruptibility which came into the Israeli political life in an attempt to form a narrow government failed not only tactically but also conceptually.” Peres experienced his greatest political success as a foreign minister in Rabin’s government. It was in that role that he was able to bring the PLO and Israel to the negotiation table, proclaiming, “We are leaving behind us the era of belligerency and are striding together toward peace.” Even then, Rabin attempted to marginalize Peres and claim most of the credit for what was at the time viewed as the turning point for hostilities in the Middle East. Since 2007, when he was appointed to the State’s presidency, Peres was transformed from a polarizing, back-room wheeler dealer to a symbolic pioneer who promoted dialogue and culture. “For 60 years I was the most controversial figure in the country, and suddenly I’m the most popular man in the land. Truth be told,

I don’t know when I was happier, then or now,” he quipped of the change. His wit never failed. When a well-wisher said on his 88th birthday that he should live until 120, he shot back, “Don’t be stingy.” In December 2015, when a rumor of his death took over the internet, he replied on his Facebook page, “I’m continuing with my daily schedule as usual to do whatever I can to assist the State of Israel and its citizens.” “When you say, as I do, that you are a confirmed optimist, you are seen as unbalanced. But if you look at history, you will see that it is an ongoing failure for pessimism, not for optimism,” he recently said. After the signing of the Oslo Accords in 1993, Peres was sentimental, “An ancient Greek philosopher was asked what is the difference between war and peace. ‘In war,’ he replied, ‘the old bury the young. In peace, the young bury the old.’ I felt that if I could make the world better for the young, that would be the greatest thing we can do.” He most definitely tried.

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Dr. Deb

Some Necessary Changes By Deb Hirschhorn, Ph.D.

atricia Evans wrote the first book on verbal and emotional abuse in America. I had to read it for my dissertation background because, even though it was not found in the professional reading section of the university library, it was the only book around on that topic. Too bad most people aren’t familiar with our Viduy. Now, that was really the first book on verbal and emotional abuse. I had a guy come to me because his wife had left him after 15 years of verbal abuse. (He wasn’t Jewish.) He said to me, “I just thought, ‘That’s how people argue!’ I didn’t know it was abuse.” That guy is not alone; he has a lot of company, Jews included and women included as well. People shrug off their abusiveness with the following excuses: I wanted her/him to know my feelings (even though verbal abuse is definitely not an expression of

feelings). Well, he did it to me! Am I just supposed to stand there and take it? I have to stand up for my rights, don’t I? I’ve tried everything to stop the escalation and nothing works! Everyone does it! I look at couple conflict systemically. So it seems pointless to assign causality when arguments generally go round and round. Nevertheless, there is such a thing as individual responsibility and if ever there was a time to take that responsibility, it’s Yom Kippur. And you can’t say, “Oh well, it’s just part of the davening,” because it comes straight from the mouth of Hashem: Vayikra 25:17 says, “Each of you shall not afflict his fellow and you shall fear your G-d for I am Hashem your G-d.” The word “afflict” in the text is “ona” and the specific use of words to hurt is called “onas devorim.” The Viduy

spells out just what this “afflicting” business really is. I once made a list of all the behaviors a wife was complaining about in her husband and found that every single one of them was included in the Viduy. In fact, ever since that day, this article was jelling in my mind. I’d like to take a look at a few of these but before I do, please understand something: Those excuses I wrote above? Forget them. There is no excuse for onas devorim. Make Yom Kippur real and meaningful: stop the onas devorim. Just to be clear: abuse doesn’t necessarily involve devorim, words. That’s what emotional abuse covers.

GILUI ARAYOS No, everyone does not do it. No, it is not “normal” to want to look at the wrong websites on the computer or read the wrong literature. No, you can’t say it is a compulsion that is out of your

control. You may feel that way and perhaps you need help to deal with it but it most definitely is not out of your control. Wouldn’t you like to actually have control over yourself (finally)? And if you are married or engaged, then doing so is, indeed, emotional abuse. Why? Because you are diverting your attention and interest away from the person you are married to and are giving it to strangers. Your behavior has created a wall between you and your spouse. You can’t have an emotionally intimate relationship that way. You may not want one; but what does your partner want? How does he/she feel? I wish I could say this doesn’t happen in the frum community, but that is not the case. It’s a bigger problem than you think.

ZNUS This too, exists in the frum community more than you would imagine. Most

people who take this drastic step are already very unhappy in their marriages and are emotionally alienated from their spouse. They feel lonely, unloved, unappreciated, and victimized. They come to convince themselves that nothing can be done to bridge the gap between them and their partner. But this does three terrible things: It makes the distance between you greater, perhaps too great to ever return, even with counseling. It deeply wounds your partner. You can tell yourself that she or he will never find out, but she/he always finds out. You can tell yourself that he is such a horrible human being that he deserves it, but that is not usually true. He is no more horrible than you are when you engage in this sin. Like you, he is lacking tools for solving his problems. Furthermore, it is not up to you but up to Hashem to mete out justice. It lowers you terribly.

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 7, 2016

You’ve not only harmed your partner but harmed yourself. So what should you do instead? Face your bad marriage instead of running away from it. Get the help you need to correct it before considering other options.

yad is what people mean when they talk about others being “controlling.” But don’t be misled – women can do this equally well even when they are petite. In a marriage where one person abhors quarreling

“You mean you don’t want to go to my mother’s for the yom tovim? Don’t you think you’re being selfish and hurtful?”

CHOZEK YAD

EX G CL RE U AT SI VE W E Q DD UA IN LI G TY G FA IFT BR ! IC S!

Biologically, men have bigger bodies and louder voices than women. And they often use these features to dominate women. Chozek

and shies away from confrontation, there is fertile ground for the other person to “exercise power” (as the Artscroll Viduy translates it) over the other.

It is even possible for someone to do this without yelling or ranting but in a quiet, logical way. Ahron raised an eyebrow as he looked steadily at Gitty and said slowly, almost menacingly. “You mean you don’t want to go to my mother’s for the yom tovim? Don’t you think you’re being selfish and hurtful?” On the surface, we can look at that statement and say there is nothing wrong or abusive here, but that is not true. Ahron is shaming Gitty into doing what he wants. That’s controlling. And quiet tone notwithstanding, that’s chozek yad. In another house, Michal would always take the paycheck from Dovid’s hands “because he doesn’t know how to handle money.” She would spend it how she saw

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fit and give him minimum spending money. Aside from the severe lack of respect and teamwork this betrays, it’s another example of chozek yad.

LATZON There’s a thin line between humor and sarcasm and couples should never cross it. In fact, John Gottman, the well-known University of Washington couples researcher, called scorn, a sibling of sarcasm, one of the “four horsemen of the apocalypse.” And it just adds more injury on when the perpetrator turns around to the victim and accuses her or him of “being hypersensitive” not wanting to be the subject of sarcasm. I had a disagreement with Patricia Evans’ ap-

proach to verbally abusive people. She was of the opinion that they were irredeemable and that divorce was probably the best solution. I was of the opinion that there are solutions to every problem and it is up to us to find them. Very few people are truly irredeemable. (She has since come around to the position I hold.) So when the temptation to cross the lines glares you in the face and you find your strength faltering, don’t just give in to your taivas; turn to help. That what rabbis, friends, and therapists are here for.

Dr. Deb Hirschhorn is a Marriage and Family Therapist. She can be reached at 646-54-DRDEB or by writing drdeb@drdeb.com.

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In The K

tchen

After-the-Fast Toasts By Naomi Nachman

very year it’s a struggle to come up with a break-the-fast meal for my family. This year, I plan to do something totally different – I’m going to do a “breakfast for dinner meal.” What does that mean? I plan to serve an extensive breakfast-like meal at the end of the fast, including yogurt, scrambled eggs, cereal, lox, assorted cream cheeses, vegetable platter, and toasts. Open-faced toasted sandwiches (or “toasts”) have become super-trendy this last year. When serving toasts there are a number

of factors to consider. Firstly, the bread is super-important. I love a good sourdough bread or whole-grain bread with seeds. The second step is deciding on what to enhance the bread with. There have been so many articles advising on the kinds of toppings to put on bread. Recent trends reveal that avocado is now one of the most popular “jewels” for the top of the bread crown. The third step is choosing the garnish. Once I have selected the bread, toppings and garnishes, I can begin to actually build my toasts. While the bread is toasting, I prepare my avocado mash. You can

set up an avocado bar on your table by placing small bowls on your table which will contain an assortment of garnishes. Then I prepare my garnishes. Some suggestions to enhance the toasts can be anything from a poached or fried egg, tomatoes, goat or feta cheese, red onion, Greek yogurt or leben with zataar, strawberries with balsamic vinegar, beets with scallion, lox, hardboiled egg, cucumber, or just plain avocado on the toast. Many of these can be made in advance, but if you plan to add an egg, you will want to do that right before you serve the toasts.

Leora’s Favorite Avocado Mash My daughter, Leora, and I love making avocado mash together. As she got older, this has become her job for our toasts. This is her recipe.

Ingredients 2 ripe avocadoes Juice of ½ lemon ¼ teaspoon garlic powder Sea salt

Preparation Cut the avocado in half, remove the pit, and scoop the flesh into a bowl. Add the lemon juice and sea salt, to taste. Mash the ingredients together with a fork, keeping the texture slightly chunky. Top avocado toasts with your favorite topping.

How to make perfect toasts Step 1: Slice 1 to 2 loaves of French bread, sourdough whole grain loaf (or your favorite bread) into ¼-inch-thick rounds. Step 2: Brush each slice with olive oil or melted butter. Step 3: Place the rounds on baking sheets and

bake at 350°F until crisp throughout and lightly golden around the edges, about 15 minutes. Here are some additional combos for your toasts, which friends have shared with me. Let your imagination run wild. Spread with goat cheese; top with finely chopped canned beets, an orange segment and fresh mint. Spread with fig jam; top with goat cheese and chopped walnuts. Spread with butter; top with thinly sliced bread-and-butter pickles. Spread with hummus; top with olive tapenade. Top with sliced figs; drizzle with honey; sprinkle with sea salt. Mash avocado with salt and lime juice; spread on toasts; top with smoked salmon. Spread with ricotta cheese; top with chopped roasted red peppers; sprinkle with salt and pepper. Rub with a garlic clove; top with sliced plum tomatoes; sprinkle with sea salt. Spread with butter; top with thinly sliced radishes; sprinkle with sea salt.

Naomi Nachman, the owner of The Aussie Gourmet, caters weekly and Shabbat/ Yom Tov meals for families and individuals within The Five Towns and neighboring communities, with a specialty in Pesach catering. Naomi is a contributing editor to this paper and also produces and hosts her own weekly radio show on the Nachum Segal Network stream called “A Table for Two with Naomi Nachman.” Naomi gives cooking presentations for organizations and private groups throughout the New York/New Jersey Metropolitan area. In addition, Naomi has been a guest host on the QVC TV network and has been featured in cookbooks, magazines as well as other media covering topics related to cuisine preparation and personal chefs. To obtain additional recipes, join The Aussie Gourmet on Facebook or visit Naomi’s blog. Naomi can be reached through her website, www.theaussiegourmet.com or at (516) 295-9669.

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 7, 2016

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Dating Dialogue

What Would You Do If… Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW of The Navidaters

Dear Navidaters,

I’ve been dating Leah for over a month now. She seems to really have her life together and that’s a big part of what I’m attracted to in her. She seems to really know what she wants and how to get it. I believe I know what I want in terms of my future, but getting there is never a simple thing for me. I’m not the most organized guy in the world. I tend to goof up a lot, oversleep, get distracted, etc. My intentions are always good, but I know my followup is not the greatest.

So Leah has quickly taken on the role of acting as a mentor with me. I feel as though she’s probably thinking that if she could just teach me a few tricks, I would be a worthwhile husband. She’s comfortable giving me advice on all sorts of things. From creating better “sleep hygiene” (her words), to dressing better, keeping lists, etc. I’m grateful for all of her caring and advice. But it’s gotten to the point where Leah is totally comfortable telling me what to do all the time and calling all the shots. I don’t really like making too many decisions and am often thrilled to have her decide where we should go on a date or what I should order at a restaurant. But lately, it’s starting to feel like I’m dating my mother! And that’s starting to feel really uncomfortable for me. What do you think about our relationship? Can such a setup work? Sometimes I think she’s the best thing that ever happened to me and that we should marry quickly and my life will be infinitely better than it’s ever been. But other times I start thinking that I’m not viewing her with any sort of romance, if you know what I mean. The way things are going now, my gut tells me that something is way off kilter. Is there a way to rebalance our relationship so that it’s still great, but more normal?

Disclaimer: This column is not intended to diagnose or otherwise conclude resolutions to any questions. Our intention is not to offer any definitive conclusions to any particular question, rather offer areas of exploration for the author and reader. Due to the nature of the column receiving only a short snapshot of an issue, without the benefit of an actual discussion, the panel’s role is to offer a range of possibilities. We hope to open up meaningful dialogue and individual exploration. Check out Soon By You’s Aftershow with the Navidaters on YouTube for a sit-down with coproducer Danny Hoffman.

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The Panel

The Rebbetzin R’ Faigie Horowitz, M.S.

ou are right to trust your gut. If Leah is already trying to change you after one month of dating, she doesn’t know enough about relationships and marriage. She has a lot of growing up and learning to do. It’s not your job to teach her. She needs help but your relationship is imbalanced from the get-go, so get out.

The Mother Sarah Schwartz Schreiber, P.A.

ardon me, sir, but I thought the object of your dating life is finding a soulmate, not a mentor or mommy. Years ago, growing up in LA, I lived next door to the Kugelmans. Every Friday, Mr. Kugelman handed over the paycheck. Each morning, Mrs. Kugelman sent her husband off to work with a lunch bag and $2 – $1.50 for carfare and $0.50 for the newspaper. Every six weeks, she gave him $5 for a haircut. On Thursdays, she handed him the vacuum cleaner; on Sundays, she proffered the lawn mower. That was life in the seven-

ties; Mrs. K flourished in her role as Lady of the Manor, Mr. K withered in his role as henpecked husband. You are astute enough to sense discomfort about this skewed relationship, or as you say, “setup.” I agree you have a lot of growing up to do in the responsibility department – sleep hygiene, time management, and decision making. Marrying Leah, or a drill sergeant, is not the answer. Even if you think Leah enjoys wearing the pants, she will disrespect you in the long run. If your “goofing off” or inability to focus on your commitments prevent you from succeeding at school, work or relationships, I suggest you invest in therapy or a life coach. Once you gain mastery of your time and your life, you will belcome better husband material and, most assuredly, attract a soulmate with whom you can enjoy a balanced, romantic relationship.

The Dating Mentor Rochel Chafetz

aybe you should follow your gut. If she has that personality, even if you talk about it, it will be hard to change. How can you marry someone who wants to fix you all the time?

Pulling It All Together The Navidaters Dating and Relationship Coaches and Therapists

relationship like yours works when it works. What I mean by that is that there are plenty of marriages in which the wife calls the shots and the husband goes

with the flow. When this arrangement is satisfying to both partners, then why not? The tidy and orga-

Don’t you want someone to love you for you, even with your faults? You’re right, she is not your mother. Move on.

The Single

It’s gotten to the point where Leah is totally comfortable telling me what to do all the time and calling all the shots.

Ahuva Guttman

efinition of transitive verb “henpeck” by Merriam-Webster: to subject (one’s husband) to persistent nagging and domination. Old Jewish Joke: There was a rumor in the shtetl that all Jewish husbands were henpecked. In order to determine if the rumor was true, the mayor of the town called all the men to the town square. All henpecked husbands were to stand in one line, all non-henpecked husbands were to stand in another line. The line of henpecked husbands was very long and went on for nearly a mile. But the line of non-henpecked husbands had only one man standing on it. The mayor walked up to the one man standing on the line of non-henpecked husbands and said to him, “This is remarkable! It seems all Jewish men are henpecked husbands and that you are the only exception. Please tell me, what is it that keeps you from being a henpecked husband?” The man looked at the mayo r, s h r u g g e d , and said, “I have no idea, sir. I’m here because my wife told me to stand on this line.” Of course that joke is always told by henpecked hus-

bands. There are also unfortunately too many (even one is too many) controlling and abusive Jewish husbands who are the opposite of henpecked. They don’t tell that joke. There are as many different types of marital relationships out there as there are many different types of people. However, if the relationship is not based on love, attraction, trust and respect for one another, it is bound for failure. This one seems to be lacking in love, or at this stage of the process, attraction. There are some men who are romantically attracted to women who dominate and take over their lives. As you said, none of that attraction exists for you with this young woman. So it would seem to me that it is time for you to move on. What you have learned from this experience is that you would be helped very much by having a life coach. That’s great! Find one and pay for one. Then go out and find a wife who you are attracted to. She could be a very capable, organized and independent young woman. But you need to be attracted to her and there needs to be some draw on the level of a real relationship. As an aside, if you want to marry a young woman strictly as a utility, you could probably find one who is a good cook. But marrying her for solely that reason without any attraction would not sustain the relationship, even though you like to eat good food.

nized wife gets to take the wheel and the “laid back” husband keeps the passenger seat nice and warm. When one partner has a change of heart, the resentment is likely to

build on both your parts. When this arrangement no longer works, and the couple is knee deep in children, careers and/or mortgages, couples can begin to take on the roles of angry mommy and naughty boy. The

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husband may resent his wife for always acting like his angry mother (overbearing, critical, uptight, no intimacy or affection, nagging) and the wife may come to resent her husband for acting like an overly indulged, self-entitled child (lazy, immature, not a partner in life) for whom she must do everything. The good news is that if both spouses are willing to put in the work, the cycle can be stopped and the couple can achieve closeness and intimacy again. You and Leah are only dating one month, but a cycle has begun. You are cruising along but growing unattracted to her, and she is in charge, unbeknownst to her that this isn’t working for you. There are two people responsible for the current dynamic. Before we point

fingers and label Leah as “bossy” or “demanding,” let’s acknowledge that you have sent Leah a loud and clear signal: help me, I can’t do this myself and I need you to do this for me. Whether it’s the schedule you keep or an indecisive nature, you may have invited Leah to become this “mommy figure.” Part of you feels like something is off in this relationship, but another part of you freely gives Leah the reins to make decisions and invites her to take on the role of Mommy. Maybe Leah has become Mommy, in part, because you have allowed her to. Some of the panelists suggested leaving the relationship. I say, there’s time to do that later, if it should come to that. If you make some changes, maybe Leah will happily sit in that passenger’s seat.

Who says she enjoys making these lists for you or ordering for you? Maybe she has been waiting for you to get into gear, or maybe all of her actions are the ultimate acceptance of you? Maybe she sees you for who you are and has been trying to give you what she thinks you need. Who knows, really? Once you step up and make yourself an equal in this relationship, you may find yourself becoming more attracted to her once again. Of course you aren’t attracted to her right now. Men aren’t supposed to be attracted to their mommies. But have you turned her into Mommy? If Leah is condescending to you, rude, impatient, judgmental or verbally abusive, then now is the time to exit the relationship. But if that is not what is going on here, and you feel in your heart that you somehow contributed to Leah becoming “mommy,” then I think you should stick around and work on asserting yourself. Get to know your own voice. What do you like to order at the restaurant? Can you get on top of those lists yourself? Will you work on your sleeping habits? What exactly is your difficulty with follow through? Get to know yourself now and do this soul searching now so that you don’t find yourself in the same relationship with another woman. As long as your signal is help me, fix me you are going to attract someone ready, willing and able to get to fixin’! I am not jumping to any conclusions, just pointing out that some of the attributes you described (easily distracted, goofing, etc.) may indicate a diagnosis of ADD/ADHD. Of course, wearing my therapist’s hat, I am wondering when the symptomology appeared. Have you been this way since you were a kid? How was school for you? Were you the kid with the knapsack full of crumpled up papers and empty snack bags? Has focusing always been an issue for you? Or, are these new symptoms and are drastically different from how you’ve always

The tidy and organized wife gets to take the wheel and the “laid back” husband keeps the passenger seat nice and warm.

been? I am not an expert in ADD nor am I giving you a diagnosis through a column. Just something to consider. If these behaviors are explained by ADD or ADHD, then there are all sorts of management strategies out there to help you gain greater awareness into your behaviors and ultimately help you function more optimally. Some of the greatest relationships contain two people whose strengths complement each other’s weaknesses. It is often in our marriages that a spouse holds up a mirror and reflects our flaws. Some people do not want to look into that mirror because it’s easier to keep the status quo. Some people decide to look in the mirror, reflect upon it, and take steps to become to the best version of themselves. I wonder if the universe may be presenting you with an incredible opportunity to do just that. Good luck! Sincerely, Jennifer

Esther Mann, LCSW and Jennifer Mann, LCSW are licensed, clinical psychotherapists and dating and relationship coaches working with individuals, couples and families in private practice in Hewlett, NY. To set up an appointment, please call 516.224.7779. Press 1 for Esther, 2 for Jennifer. If you would like to submit a dating or relationship question to the panel anonymously, please email thenavidaters@gmail. com. You can follow The Navidaters on FB and Instagram.

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 7, 2016

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Notable Quotes “Say What?!”

I guess I’m having an Aleppo moment. - Libertarian presidential candidate Gary Johnson, when asked on MSNBC to name a world leader that he respects, referencing a faux pas that he made several weeks ago when he didn’t know what the Syrian town of Aleppo was

The second presidential debate is just 11 days away, and this one will have a town hall format. The first question will be, “Why’d you have to do this in our town?” – Jimmy Fallon

Do you think you could put those handcuffs on me? - Edie Simms, 102-years-old, to Missouri police when they took her in their police car and “arrested” her so she can check it off of her bucket list

A woman in Virginia got nearly 600 calls after C-SPAN accidentally posted her number on the air. In response, the head of C-SPAN said, “Wait, we have 600 viewers?” – Conan O’Brien

It’s reported that even the Taliban actually had a debate viewing party. So for the first time, it looks like they’re torturing themselves. – Jimmy Fallon

I think our friendship was rooted in the fact that I could somehow see myself in his story, and maybe he could see himself in mine. – President Obama eulogizing Shimon Peres

America Online founder Steve Case endorsed Hillary Clinton for president today, although the last thing Hillary wants to hear is “You’ve got mail.”

The organizer of the presidential debates is allowing social media users to vote on debate questions. That’s why, as of today, the No. 1 question for the next presidential debate is “Hey, u up?” – Conan O’Brien

– Seth Myers

MORE QUOTES

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 7, 2016

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OCTOBER 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

Starting next month Uber will try to compete with New York City’s subway by offering unlimited carpool rides in Manhattan for $200. So your choice, New York: a crowded train, or dropping off a drug dealer in Queens before heading to work. –Seth Myers

They gave me a defective mic. Did you notice that? My mic was defective within the room. Was that on purpose? – Trump in the spin room after the first presidential debate

Anybody who complains about the microphone is not having a good night. - Hillary responding to Trump’s claim, the day after the debate

Regarding the first debate, there were issues regarding Donald Trump’s audio that affected the sound level in the debate hall. – One sentence statement by the Commission on Presidential Debates, released four days after the debate

Hillary Clinton has vowed to crack down on hackers who launch cyberattacks. She said, “If anyone’s going to abuse U.S. government computers, it’s gonna be me.” – Conan O’Brien

It’s rumored that Donald Trump’s tax returns were leaked by one of Trump’s ex-wives. In other words, it could be anybody. – Conan O’Brien

A man in Washington State was fined this week for trying to drive in a carpool lane with a cardboard cutout of Donald Trump glued to his passenger seat. Cops became suspicious when Trump’s mouth wasn’t moving. – Seth Myers

So you’ve got this crazy system where all of a sudden 25 million more people have health care and then the people who are out there busting it, sometimes 60 hours a week, wind up with their premiums doubled and their coverage cut in half. It’s the craziest thing in the world. – Bill Clinton in a candid moment at a rally talking about how Obamacare is crushing the middle class

During the final push of the election, Bill Clinton criticized Obamacare in a speech and said it’s “the craziest thing in the world.” It’s all part of Bill’s nationwide “Not Helping” tour. – Conan O’Brien

There’s bad people and there are good people and you have to separate the difference and the bottom line is my son was killed by Islamic terrorists… Call them what they are. - Tina Houchins, the Gold Star Mother who asked President Obama this week about his refusal to say “radical Islamic terrorism,” after he gave her a convoluted non-answer

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OCTOBER 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Without Birthright, there are statistics that have been proven at least twice that there’s only 42% of Jewish kids between the ages of 18 and 26 that say they marry within their religion or bring up their children Jewish… In another two or three generations there won’t be any secular Jews left. Think about that. For 3,000 years we’ve been fighting for acceptance, and now that we’ve been accepted it’s turning around to kill us. [Birthright] is the most important program of my lifetime. All the kids that go to Birthright, the number jumps from 42% to 76%.

Eric Trump today defended his father’s recent 3 a.m. Twitter rant…telling reporters, “At least my father is up at 3 o’clock in the morning.” Why do you think that’s a good thing? You know who’s up that early? People who are wondering where they went wrong with their son. –Seth Myers

There are 3 million drug addicts [in the Philippines]. I’d be happy to slaughter them. If Germany had Hitler, the Philippines would have [me].

- Sheldon Adelson, the main supporter of Birthright Taglit, at the organization’s conference in Washington, D.C.

- Philippines President Rodrigo Duterte, comparing himself to Hitler

Donald Trump is a domestic terrorist; only his form of terror doesn’t boil down to blowing things up .- Charles M. Blow, The New York Times

We need someone who’s honest and plays by the rules. - Michelle Obama – ironically – talking about why Hillary should be elected

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OCTOBER 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

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SpaceX CEO Elon Musk announced plans yesterday to colonize Mars, saying the main requirement for early settlers would be that they are, quote, “ready to die.” Said Hillary, “I’ll let you know November 9th.” – Seth Myers

They are living in their parents’ basement. - Hillary Clinton, at a fundraiser during the primaries, talking about Bernie Sanders supporters, according to recently leaked audio

Bernie Sanders is also campaigning with Hillary. Yesterday, he asked a crowd at one of her rallies, “Is everybody here ready to transform America?” Followed by his next question, “Does anybody here remember where I parked?” – Jimmy Fallon

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OCTOBER 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Political Crossfire

Out of His Depth, Donald Trump Clings to Deception By Michael Gerson

here is a story from the history of professional wrestling in which a manager named Freddie Blassie comes to the edge of the ring and, while the referee is distracted, offers his cane to break over the head of the opposing wrestler. After the match an interviewer asked Blassie, “Where s that cane of yours?” He replied, “What cane? I didn’t have no cane!” During the last political year, life has imitated professional wrestling. Those expecting such antics from Donald Trump during the first presidential debate were not disappointed. When confronted with his claim that global warming was a hoax perpetrated by the Chinese, Trump replied, “I did not [say it].” He did. When Trump’s claim that he could not release his tax returns because of an IRS audit was exposed as false, he still insisted on it. When charged with saying that he could personally negotiate down the national debt, he said this was “wrong.” The charge was right. When Trump’s transparently deceptive claim to be an early opponent of the Iraq War was debunked, he doubled down in a babbling defense

citing Sean Hannity as the ultimate arbiter. It is not surprising that Trump inhabits his own factual universe, in which truth is determined by usefulness and lies become credible through repetition. What made the first presidential debate extraordinary – really unprecedented – was not the charges that Trump denied, but the ones he confirmed. When Hillary Clinton claimed he didn’t pay any federal income taxes, Trump said: “That makes me smart.” When Clinton accused Trump of defrauding a contractor out of money he was owed, Trump responded: “Maybe he didn’t do a good job and I was unsatisfied with his work.” When Clinton criticized Trump for casual misogyny and for calling women “pigs,” Trump brought up Rosie O’Donnell and said, “She deserves it.” When Clinton recalled a Justice Department lawsuit suit against Trump for housing discrimination, he dismissed it as “just one of those things.” When Clinton attacked Trump for coddling the Russians, Trump attempted to excuse them of hacking, shifting the blame toward obese computer geeks. When

Clinton accused Trump of betraying American allies, Trump answered: “We defend Japan, we defend Germany, we defend South Korea, we defend Saudi Arabia, we defend countries. They do not pay us. But they should be paying us. ... We cannot protect countries all over the world, where they’re not paying us what we need.” Rather than affirming the importance of NATO, or reassuring our Pacific partners – the easy and expected answer – Trump reduced America’s global role to a protection racket, run by a seedy executive who admits to cheating contractors when he is “unsatisfied with [their] work.” During the debate, the points scored against Trump were damaging. But the points he ceded would disqualify any normal politician, in any normal presidential year. Trump has made some political gains over the last few weeks through greater discipline – speeches from teleprompters, carefully selected media interviews, no news conferences, a Twitter account in the hands of others. But the candidate has internalized none of this. He might as well have sung “I Gotta Be Me” as his open-

ing statement in the debate. It was Trump unplugged, and often unhinged. Past debate criticism has looked for hints and signs to determine losers – a candidate, say, looked impatiently at his watch or sighed in an off-putting way. Rhetorically, Trump drove a high-speed train filled with fireworks into a nuclear

laughter. And Trump concluded his performance by praising himself for his own grace and restraint during an evening that showed him to be nasty, witless and deceptive. It should now be clear to Republicans: Vanity is his strategy. Trump’s defenders will charge his critics with elitism. The great public, it

He might as well have sung “I Gotta Be Me” as his opening statement in the debate. It was Trump unplugged, and often unhinged.

power plant. He was self-absorbed, prickly, defensive, interrupting, baited by every charge yet unprepared to refute them. During his share of a 90-minute debate, he was horribly out of his depth, incapable of stringing together a coherent three-sentence case. The postmodern quality of Trump’s appeal culminated in an unbalanced rant claiming, “I also have a much better temperament than she has.” An assertion greeted by audience

is argued, gets Trump in a way that the commenting class does not. But this claim is now fully exposed. The expectation of rationality is not elitism. Coherence is not elitism. Knowledge is not elitism. Honoring character is not elitism. And those who claim this are debasing themselves, their party and their country.

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 7, 2016

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Political Crossfire

When Facts, Logic and History Don’t Matter By Charles Krauthammer

nd now, less than six weeks from the election, what is the main event of the day? A fight between the GOP presidential nominee and a former Miss Universe, whom he had 20 years ago called Miss Piggy and other choice pejoratives. Just a few weeks earlier, we were seized by a transient hysteria over a minor Hillary Clinton lung infection hyped to nearmortal status. The latest curiosity is Donald Trump’s 37 sniffles during the first presidential debate. (People count this sort of thing.) Dr. Howard Dean has suggested a possible cocaine addiction. In a man who doesn’t even drink coffee? This campaign is sinking to somewhere between zany and totally insane. Is there a bottom? Take the most striking – and overlooked – moment of Trump’s GOP convention speech. He actually promised that under him, “the crime and violence that today afflicts our nation will soon – and I mean very soon – come to an end.” Not “be reduced.” End. Humanity has been at this since, oh, Hammurabi.

But the audience didn’t laugh. It applauded. Nor was this mere spur of the moment hyperbole. Trump was reading from a teleprompter. As he was a few weeks earlier when he told a conference in North Dakota, “Politicians have used you and stolen your votes. They have given you nothing. I will give you everything.” Everything, mind you. “I will give you what you’ve been looking for for 50 years.” No laughter recorded. In launching his AfricanAmerican outreach at a speech in Charlotte, Trump catalogued the horrors that he believes define black life in America today. Then promised: “I will fix it.” How primitive have our politics become? Fix what? Family structure? Social inheritance? Selfdestructive habits? How? He doesn’t say. He’ll will it. Trust him, as he likes to say. After 15 months, the suspension of disbelief has become so ubiquitous that we hardly notice anymore. We are operating in an alternate universe where the geometry is non-Euclidean, facts don’t matter, history and logic have disappeared.

Going into the first debate, Trump was in a virtual tie for the lead. The bar for him was set almost comically low. He had merely to (1) suffer no major meltdown and (2) produce just a few moments of coherence. He cleared the bar. In the first half-hour, he established the entire premise of his campaign. Things are bad and she’s been around for 30 years. You like bad? Stick with her. You want change? I’m your man. It can’t get more elemental than that. At one point, Clinton laughed and ridiculed Trump for trying to blame her for everything that’s ever happened. In fact, that’s exactly what he did. With some success. By conventional measures – poise, logic, command of the facts – she won the debate handily. But when it comes to moving the needle, conventional measures don’t apply this year. What might, however, move the needle is not the debate itself but the time bomb Trump left behind. His great weakness is his vanity. He is temperamentally incapable

of allowing any attack on his person to go unavenged. He is particularly sensitive on the subject of his wealth. So central to his self-image is his business acumen that in

taxes, that “I am your voice.” When gaffes like this are committed, the candidate either doubles down (you might say that if you can legally pay nothing, why

After 15 months, the suspension of disbelief has become so ubiquitous that we hardly notice anymore.

the debate he couldn’t resist the temptation to tout his cleverness on taxes. To an audience of 86 million, he appeared to concede that he didn’t pay any. “That makes me smart,” he smugly interjected. Big mistake. The next day, Clinton offered the obvious retort: “If not paying taxes makes him smart, what does that make all the rest of us?” Meanwhile, Trump has been going around telling Rust Belt workers, on whom his Electoral College strategy hinges and who might still believe that billionaires do have some obligation to pay

not, given how corrupt the tax code is) or simply denies he ever said anything of the sort. Indeed, one of the more remarkable features of this campaign is how brazenly candidates deny having said things that have been captured on tape, such as Clinton denying she ever said the Trans-Pacific Partnership was the gold standard of trade deals. The only thing more amazing is how easily they get away with it.

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 7, 2016

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Forgotten Her es

Battling the Skies in the Yom Kippur War By Avi Heiligman

A replica of an Egyptian SAM missile used during the war

or several decades, the Israeli Air Force (IAF) has been on the top of the food chain with the best pilots, planes and systems in the Middle East. Planes are always ready to takeoff even when there are no current threats. Pilots are in the planes at all times and for most of Israel’s history are called on more frequently than not. Even recently IAF planes have struck targets in Syria because of threats coming from that war-torn country. However, there was one time that the IAF was caught flatfooted. In fact, the entire military was not prepared for the huge Arab – which included Egypt, Syria, Iraq, Algeria, Libya and most likely North Korea and the USSR (flying fighters out of Egypt, if the reports are true) – armies that attacked on Yom Kippur 1973. Egypt and Syria were supposed to coordinate their attacks at the same time on October 6, 1973 but due to miscommunication the start of the war began at different times depending on the front. Usually the IAF would use a preemptive strike to knock out targets that could pose a threat to Israeli air assets but the air force was denied permission. Therefore the Israeli pilots that made it over to enemy airspace also had to

contend with surface-to-air missiles. These wreaked havoc with the Israeli planes during the first three days of combat. Three types of first rate planes were available in the IAF’s arsenal. The A-4 Skyhawk was an attack plane that was best suited for air-to-ground operations. Many times it helped out ground troops that found themselves faced with the odds stacked against them especially if there were tanks involved. The French-built Dassault Mirage III and the Israeli version of the plane, the IAI Nesher, were built with the interceptor role in mind. With their innovative delta wings they were great for defense roles. F-4 Phantoms were the best the Israelis had and could match the MiG-21 Russian-built planes. All three types plus some aging Dassault Super Mysteres and helicopters were used to in both attack and defense roles. There were two fronts during the war. In the south, Egypt attacked Israeli bases with a huge army, and to the north, Syria attacked with a large tank army. At first, attacks on Egyptian SAM (surface-to-air missile) sites were targeted in Egypt and several were damaged with the loss of two IAF A-4 Skyhawks. The threat to the north was considered direr

An Israeli F-4 Phantom during the war

because there were Israeli towns just miles from the front while the Sinai Desert acted as a buffer zone in the south. Over a thousand Syrian tanks attacked an Israeli force of just 200 some odd tanks in what is considered the largest tank battle since WWII. The outnumbered and exhausted tank units kept on calling in for air support but the planes had troubles of their own. The story with engaging North Korean pilots took place on the first day of combat. Four IAF Phantoms from two different squadrons were patrolling Egyptian airspace when ground control sent them towards a pair of bandits (air force terminology for enemy aircraft) nearby. They came upon two MiG-21 Fishbeds but one left the area before the Israelis could give chase. Three missiles barely missed the MiG, and the Phantoms, who were low on fuel, gave up the chase to go home. One of the Israeli pilots noticed a SAM streaking towards the MiG and scored a direct hit. Later Israeli intelligence confirmed that the Egyptians shot down one of their own fighters! After the war the incident became more bizarre when the Israelis learned that the MiG belonged to North Korea. An air operation on the Syrian

front took place on the second day of war. Unfortunately, intelligence failed the pilots who had no idea where to find the SAM batteries. Six IAF F-4 Phantoms were shot down. On October 14 an Israeli air counteroffensive in the Nile Delta failed to destroy their objectives. Despite these failures the IAF pushed back. Repeated attacks on Syrian airfields and infrastructure allowed ground units to come within artillery distance of Damascus. Success by ground forces in the south punched holes in the Egyptian air defense system and allowed the IAF to cripple the enemy air forces. With the Arabs receiving help from the USSR and North Korea, the Israelis were assisted by the Americans. While no American plane took part in aerial combat, they were vital in the resupply mission and flew key intelligence reconnaissance missions. These missions were flown by the famous SR-71 Blackbirds and were assisted by KC-135 air refueling tankers. Three missions over Egyptian territory provided a wealth of information that was passed onto the Israelis. 37 F-4s, 52 A-4s and 11 Mirages (all estimates as the number of planes lost by both sides fluctuates

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 7, 2016

Defense Minister Moshe Dayan with Ariel Sharon during the Yom Kippur War in 1973

depending on who was keeping tally) were lost. About two-thirds of the losses happened in the first three days of combat. Both sides were getting new planes and material. The U.S. initiated Operation Nickel Grass (sometimes referred to as Nickel Glass) on October 14 to transfer war supplies to Israel. Five days earlier 36 F-4E were transferred from the U.S Air Force and went right into

An Egyptian soldier beside an Israeli downed plane

combat. Some of the planes were still painted in American camouflage and only the tail had IAF identification. Also in the operation, the U.S. Navy provided Skyhawks and new technology was supplied by the USAF. Several types of missiles and smart bombs were able to knock out SAM sites and air-to-air AIM-9 Sindwinder missiles proved effective against MiG-21s.

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Prime Minister Golda Meir and Defense Minister Moshe Dayan meeting with troops in the Golan Heights

It is estimated that the Egyptians lost about 170 aircraft in the air and 235 in total. Total Arab plane losses range between 350 and 515, depending on who was taking records. In any case the resilience of the IAF in the first three days saved the country from being bombed and overrun by the Arabs. For future conflicts, IAF pilots gained a new respect for Russian-made SAM batteries and pain-

ful lessons were learned. During the Yom Kippur War, Israel survived yet another powerful Arab attack. But yad Hashem proved Israel to be victorious. Avi Heiligman is a weekly contributor to The Jewish Home. He welcomes your comments and suggestions for future columns and can be reached at avi heiligman@gmail.com.

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The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

Mastering Our Ego Remembering Michelle Rubinstein By Sara Psaty

n the book Finding the Light in the Darkness, the author speaks about how Yaakov Avinu was afraid of his brother Eisav and begged Hashem to save him from his brother. How is it that Yaakov was afraid of his own brother, being the paradigm of love and righteousness that Yaakov himself was? The answer is that Eisav was the personification of ego, and therefore Yaakov didn’t fear the physical battle with his brother – he was afraid of his own ego. Yaakov knew

and rarely considered her own needs. She was always concentrating on what this person needs, how she can help them, what would make them happy or feel good. Her ego was nonexistent and it showed in everything she did. She was so unassuming that she did this in such a modest way. Oftentimes people didn’t even realize she was being mevater, giving up something she wanted for another person. Her greatness lay in her ability to be a tzadekes without calling attention to herself

Humility will enrich our relationship with Hashem, with others, and most importantly with ourselves.

that if he would be so confident in his own ability and merit that it would blind him in the battle with Eisav, he may lose to his brother. Our ego is often our own worst enemy. When we get too confident in ourselves and our own ability we forget to be considerate to the needs of others. Our ego can create a sort of “spiritual blindness” that blocks us from seeing what really matters in life and stops us from behaving the way we should to those around us. When we are attuned to the needs of others is when we can truly be happy. My daughter Michelle Rubinstein was a person who completely lacked an ego. She always thought of others

and by making it seem like “no big deal.” She had mastered her ego and didn’t allow it to have control over her. Sometimes in life it is easy to get caught up in ourselves. We believe we can do anything on our own, and it often causes us to turn our backs on others. We have all sorts of excuses for this. We say they don’t deserve it, it’s too difficult for me and it’s not worth the effort, or we simply don’t care. But the lesson of Yaakov Avinu teaches us that we must always be vigilant about keeping our ego at bay. When a person has a big ego the only person who loses is that person himself. Being considerate of others makes a person strong and connects

them to Hashem. Hashem is always watching how we interact with those around us. We are now approaching Yom Kippur, and it is the perfect time to surrender our egos before Hashem and ask Him to give us humility. Humility will enrich our relationship with

Hashem, with others, and most importantly with ourselves. Michelle can live on through the lessons she has taught us in the way she lived her life. May we all learn these lessons and have a gmar chasima tova, a year filled with health and blessing.

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 7, 2016

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The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 7, 2016

2BR Corner Unit, Elev Bldg, Near All. . $169K

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Sunny & Spacious 2BR, Lovely 5BR, 2.5 Bath, Renov 4BR, 3BA Hi-Ranch, 2BA, Near All..$255K Split,Eik,FDR.. $649K New Kitch,Near All..$749K

Renov 5/7BR, 3.5BA 9BR, 4.5BA CH Colonial Newly Renovated 3BR, 2.5BA Colonial In Prime Loct, Split, O/S Ppty.. $POR On X-Lg Ppty..$1.299M Gourmet Eik, Full Basement, Low Taxes...$825K

Susan Pugatch

Carol Braunstein

(516)

Call or Text

(516) 592-2206

cbraunstein@pugatch.com

295-3000

www.pugatch.com

 2,948 +/- SF Duplex Bldg W/Basement  Mixed Use Office Bldg W/Apartment  Former Dental Office  On-Site Parking - For Sale

spugatch@pugatch.com

 3,900 +/- SF in Elevator Bldg  Excellent On-Site Parking  Beautifully Maintained  3rd Flr - For Lease

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Classifieds classifieds@fivetownsjewishhome.com / text 443-929-4003 COMMERCIAL RE

COMMERCIAL RE

WANTAGH: 2,000 +/- SF Retail Store on Sunrise Hwy with On-Site Parking, Great High Traffic Location, For Lease…Call For More Details Broker (516) 792-6698 WOODMERE: Follow The Leader To Woodmere, Now Is The Time To Act!!! No Metered Parking, Various Retail/Office Spaces Available, For Sale/Lease...Call For More Details (516) 295-3000 www.pugatch.com

SPECIAL “LIMITED” OPPORTUNITY TO WELCOME OUR NEWEST ADDITION/LOCATION AT 487R CENTRAL AVENUE, CEDARHURST, NY 11516. Call/text now for complimentary market analysis of your residential or commercial property. 516-655-3636 Cheryl “Chedva” Slansky, MBA Licensed Associate RE Broker, RealtyConnect USA The #1 Real Estate Office 2015 FY by LIBN

INWOOD THE BAYVIEW BUILDING Many options available including 5000 Square foot high ceiling 1st floor showroom/ office / mixed use space. 2nd Floor office spaces with Waterview and views of NYC skyline. 1200 sq ft, 2000 sq ft and 6000 sq ft spaces available. Parking, Mincha minyan and great neighbors. Owner will customize and design space to your needs. Call or text 516-567-0100

INWOOD Commercial mixed use building + Lot. Private parking, corner property, high traffic area 1st floor offices, 2nd floor: 2 Apts. Asking 849k. Call 212-470-3856 Yochi @WinZone Re LAWRENCE: 2,800 +/- SF Space, Office/R&D Space, 2 Bathrooms, Kitchenette In Office Area, 12 Ceilings For Lease…Call for More Details Broker (516) 792-6698

COMMERCIAL RE

CO-OP FOR SALE

CEDARHURST THE STUDIO BUILDING Newly Renovated Office Suites and spaces Available starting at $795 a month. Included in the rent: High Speed Internet, Wifi, Conference rooms, Kitchenette, Heat & AC, Utilities Included, Water cooler, Real Estate Taxes, Waiting Area, Cleaning. Furnished and unfurnished available call or text 516-567-0100

FAR ROCKAWAY 833 Central Avenue 1st floor, balcony, doorman. Completely renovated, near LIRR 2BR/2 full bath, 2 DW/sinks, wood cabinets, granite counters $369 Call 917-572-9644

CO-OP FOR SALE HEWLETT: BEST BUY!!! Beautiful & Spacious 1BR Co-op, Private Patio, Eik, Washer/Dryer, Parking Space & Storage Incl, Close To All...$78,500 Call Carol Braunstein (516) 295-3000 www.pugatch.com WOODMERE: PRICE REDUCED Sunny & Spacious 2 Bedroom Apt On 1st Floor, Eik, Close To All...$274.5K Call Carol Braunstein (516) 295-3000 www.pugatch.com FAR ROCKAWAY 833 Central ,1st floor, balcony, doorman Completely renovated, near LIRR 2BR/2 full bath, 2 DW/sinks, wood cabinets, granite counters $389 917-572-9644

APT FOR SALE Large One Bedroom Apt. in Lawrence Close to train, underground parking, spacious living room/dining area. Motivated seller $118,000. Call 917-299-8082

APT FOR RENT CEDARHURST 500-3,500 +/- SF Beautiful, newly renovated space for rent. Ideal for Retail or Executive offices. Prime location. Convenient Parking. Call Sam @ 516-612-2433 or 718-747-8080 GORGEOUS APARTMENT FOR RENT! Far Rockaway/ Darchei area Brand New Construction!! Porcelain Floors 1 Bedroom, 1 Bath, New Appliances, Washer/Dryer hookup, 2 flights up Asking $1490- Negotiable GPManagement1@gmail.com 718-471-5224

In the Heart of Jerusalem!! New! For sale, fabulous boutique building with 3 huge apartments available now, on quiet cul-de-sac in classic Jerusalem. Walking distance to the Kotel, Great Synagogue, parks. Garden apt. and massive penthouse available. High ceilings, sukkah porches, smart home, central AC, sub-floor heating, ultraluxe finishes. Specially priced for the holidays!! Phone: +972.523.477.428

www.usha3.com

Reach Your Target Market

Classifieds

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Classifieds classifieds@fivetownsjewishhome.com / text 443-929-4003 HELP WANTED EXPERIENCED REAL ESTATE SALES AGENT needed for a HIGH Producing real estate office who is seeking an opportunity to Earn & Learn more!!! Call Today (516) 295-3000 x 128. All calls kept confidential. SHULAMITH EARLY CHILDHOOD is looking to hire a full time teacher assistant for the current school year. Please email resume to earlychildhood@shulamith.org

Established Special Ed Preschool in Far Rockaway looking for EI TEACHER PART TIME starting Nov/Dec 2016 Must be certified and have a MS in Special Education Warm, nurturing environment Competitive salary Please email resume to scohen@onourwaylc.org We are looking to hire a MARKETING/SALES SPECIALIST Job requirements: Your own car and internet savvy. Hob has unlimited income potential. Don’t delay, give us a call at 917-612-2300

HELP WANTED Leading licensed Mental Health agency is seeking SOCIAL WORKERS for our outpatient clinics. FT, PT and FFS positions available. Please send resumes to careers@nhcc.us Growing company in the 5 Towns is seeking motivated, confident, out-going employee for full time bookkeeping/accounting. Must have professional bookkeeping experience, and strong teamwork skills Please submit qualified resume to admin@getpeyd.com PART TIME AND FULL TIME BOOKKEEPING POSITION Fast growing accounting and consulting firm seeks a qualified individual to assist our accounting staff in providing bookkeeping services for our clients. Qualified individuals will have the opportunity to join our employee friendly culture At least 2 years working experience Working knowledge of Microsoft Office, QuickBooks a MUST Email – info@smallbizoutsource.com

HELP WANTED

DRS HS FOR BOYS, WOODMERE NY SEEKS CHEMISTRY TEACHER (FT) FOR 2016-17. Resumes: gkirshenbaum@drshalb.org.

GREAT OPPORTUNITY Looking for class B CDL DRIVER with clutch for a heimishe lumber co. Great pay, Call: 718-369-3141 Ext. 348

YESHIVA KETANA OF LONG ISLAND SEEKS FULL TIME SECRETARY for busy school office. Organized, friendly and able to multi task. Experienced only. Please email resume to office@ykli.org

CATAPULT LEARNING Teachers, Title I Boro Park, Williamsburg and Flatbush Schools *College/Yeshiva Degree *Teaching experience required *Strong desire to help children learn *Small group instruction *Excellent organization skills Competitive salary Send resume to: Email: nyteachers@catapultlearning.com Fax: (212) 480-3691

Well-established healthcare agency is seeking a MEDICAL RECEPTIONIST for one of our clinics in Far Rockaway. Please forward all resumes to careers@nhcc.us YESHIVA SECRETARY Yeshiva near Brooklyn/5 Towns Seeking help during Dinner Campaign. Detail oriented and ability to multi task Yeshiva experience a plus Morning Hours, Immediately after Pesach Send Resume to officepositionhire@gmail.com

5TOWNS BOYS YESHIVA SEEKING ELEM TEACHERS. Exc working env’t, supportive admin, exc pay Lic’d & experienced preferred. Email resume to yeshivalooking@gmail.com

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Classifieds

classifieds@fivetownsjewishhome.com / text 443-929-4003

HELP WANTED

SITUATION WANTED

PHYSICAL THERAPIST ASSISTANTS (PTA’S) & OCCUPATIONAL THERAPISTS ASSISTANTS (COTA’S) For 200+ bed Nursing Home in Queens. Must have Hospital or Nursing Home experience. Please email resume to promrehab@aol.com

CERTIFIED MALE CAREGIVER Caregiver 30 yrs experience. Specializing in expert full Time care,familiar with Kosher kitchens, honest, Reliable, experienced in NY/FL Excellent upscale References upon request Will travel Call Ralph hm 212-658-0542 Cell 561-351-7944

OVERNIGHT \WEEKEND COUNSELOR Responsible and exp’d staff to live in a beautiful group home & work 3 nights\week 7pm - 9am. Staff are not req’d to remain awake after 11pm. Staff are req’d to work two weekends per month. Free rent & food. Stipend given as well. Great for college girl. For additional info contact Frayde Yudkowsky at 732.948.4636 or fyudkowsky@evolvetreatment.com. Local F.T. Accounting Office Seeks P/T JR. ACCOUNTANT proficient in Q.B. knowledge of payroll tax, sales tax, business tax and individual taxes Qualified applicants should please e-mail resume to: 5towntaxoffice@gmail.com WE ARE LOOKING TO HIRE A MARKETING/SALES SPECIALIST. Job will require your own car and being computer/internet savy. If you consider yourself a marketing professional, this is the position for you. Opportunity to make unlimited income potential, Don’t delay. Give us a call at 917-612-2300 HALB LOWER SCHOOL SEEKS STAFF MEMBERS FOR 2016-17: Limudei Kodesh Morah with Ivrit skills, Assistant Teachers Limudei Kodesh and Secular Studies (FT/PT), Assistant Rebbe (FT). Resumes: djacobi@halb.org.

Life CAPTURE

I M A G E S LTD PHOTOGRAPHY I VIDEO

GABRIEL SOLOMON

GABE@LIFECAPTUREIMAGES.COM 516.499.9620 WWW.LIFECAPTUREIMAGES.COM

MISC Lulav and Esrog sets being sold in Sh’or Yoshuv’s Woman’s Lobby We have sets in all price ranges Sunday Oct. 9- 6PM - 11PM Motzei Yom Kippur 8:15 PM – 12 AM Thursday Oct. 13 - 1:45 - 10PM For questions call 718- 415- 0962 Large selections of Arbah Minim+ Chazon Ish @Cedarhurst Center Lobby 445 Central Ave. Opened daily from Tzom Gedailia until Erev Succos Long hours and opened on Motzie Yom Kippur until late Yehoshua Singer 917-923-0011

SHIDDUCH DATING? NEED PLACES TO GO? Check out Pegishaplace.com WIG GEMACH Everyone in our community deserves to look great! Donate used wigs and make a world of a difference. For appointments to see wigs or to donate Call Deena 845-304-6668 Tutors desperately needed for Zichron Etel, a gemach providing free tutoring to those who cannot afford it. Now in Brooklyn and the Five Towns! Kindly visit our website at www.zichronetel.com

TJH Classifieds Post your Real Estate, Help Wanted, Services, Miscellaneous Ads here.

Weekly Classifed Ads Up to 5 lines and/or 25 words 1 week ................ $20 $10 2 weeks .............. $35 $17.50 4 weeks .............. $60 $30 Email ads to: classifieds@fivetownsjewishhome.com Include valid credit card info

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The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 7, 2016

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HOME SOLUTIONS

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The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 7, 2016

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Life C ach

Yom Kippur Eat, Drink, and Be Merry! By Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., CLC, SDS

om Kippurim, a day like Purim. It’s true! It is a day like Purim. How so, you may be asking? Well, consider the masks. Purim we put them on. Yom Kippur we take them off. Purim we share our food and

drinks with friends. Yom Kippur, we would – if we had any! Both days you put on special costumes. On one day they recognize the costume but they don’t recognize you; on the other you don’t even recognize yourself. You are the angelic version of yourself. You

need no food. You have the potential to tap into a totally clean soul. Purim is a day we see that everything can be turned around. Isn’t that the message of Yom Kippur? We can turn things around. We can soul search and review the past, decide to change things, and start anew. This message has the same positive energy of Purim. This day is a gift. Maybe you aren’t riding around giving gifts to family and

When we reconnect, fast, and pray, even a dire plight can be reversed. We may even be given the wisdom and tools to make it happen ourselves. Esther still remained in the palace with the king. She didn’t go home and find the life she was used to. But she made her mark and made a great difference in this world. We have a job here. Let’s hope we can do it well. Let’s pray for the

You are deciding to make some personal adjustments that will ultimately be a gift to family and friends.

friends. However, you are deciding to make some personal adjustments that will ultimately be a gift to family and friends. Just like the lighting guy we never see and the stagehand who makes it all happen, G-d showed us He was hidden, operating behind the scenes in our Purim history. Yet, when we reconnected, fasted, and prayed, G-d supported Esther, and our dire plight was reversed. So here’s Yom Kippur. Right in our own backyards, peering out, just in front of our sukkahs. And the message of Purim is the one we should celebrate and embrace.

guidance and discipline to do it well with connection and dedication! Then Yom Kippur will truly be a day like Purim, when we can eat, drink, and be merry. Instead of “eating” our hearts out, “drinking” our troubles away, and thinking their “merry” is better than ours, we will be high on life, satiated through love, and merry to be considered members of the king’s courtyard.

Rivki Rosenwald is a certified relationship counselor, and career and life coach. She can be contacted at 917-7052004 or rivki@rosenwalds.com

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443 SUNRISE HIGHWAY

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YOM KIPPUR

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