Some New Instructions by Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., CLC, SDS

Life C ach

Some New Instructions

By Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., LMFT, CLC, SDS

Things used to come with instructions. They were written out, and they included stepby-step numbered diagrams. No one loved them, but everyone had equal access to them.

Today, somehow, young people understand new technology without instructions – almost as if it’s wired into them.

Older people – and that can even be someone nearing their late twenties – have access to only one easy instruction manual – and it usually looks like any kid under ten or twelve. The younger a kid is, the more we are at their mercy.

Parents sometimes feel their usefulness waning and dependence growing. Not the best way to parent the young!

Of course, we can avoid asking our kids and ask Siri. But she’s usually slow and inquisitive and has you taking a lot more steps to get things done. In truth, that still might be the better route to take, because what does a young person do?

Do they patiently stand there to give you step-by-step instructions? Do they demonstrate any interest in allowing you to learn so you can do it yourself next time?

Of course not!

They usually grab your phone or computer. Then reset, reroute, or rearrange, based on what you asked of them, and although you do get your query solved, you have no idea how you got there.

You could attempt to encourage them to try to let you do it yourself and to just guide you. However, after painfully observing you pounding away with your index finger for about 20 seconds, you can rest assured that they will robotically reach across for your phone and begin “double-thumbing” the outcome onto your phone at the speed of light.

Their torture at watching you slowly and mechanically accomplish what it takes them seconds to achieve does not allow them sit back passively as you take your time to get it done.

They can’t help but do it for you and then move back to complaining about “being bored” and asking you what there is to do.

And you’re thinking, “Well, if you’re only in a rush to be bored again, couldn’t you have allowed me to learn something instead of rushing to erase my opportunity?”

We are so torn by the joy of recognizing how adept they are so young and the fear that they are being overtaken by technology. We love seeing the natural ease with which they pick something up, yet wish it were anything but a thing that will consume them. And though we love their help, sometimes we’d rather it just be in the kitchen or with the laundry. Because, with that, they’re always still willing to let us be the experts.

So alas, what’s my instruction to you? Keep loving them through all life’s changes and twists and turns, and hopefully they’ll turn out just the way they should.

Older people – and that can even be someone nearing their late twenties – have access to only one easy instruction manual – and it usually looks like any kid under ten or twelve.

Rivki Rosenwald is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist working with both couples and individuals and is a certified relationship counselor. Rivki is a co-founder and creator of an effective Parent Management of Adolescent Years Program. She can be contacted at 917705-2004 or at rivkirosenwald@gmail. com.