Five Towns Jewish Home - 1-7-16

January 7 — January 13, 2016

Your Favorite Five Towns Family Newspaper

Distributed weekly in the Five Towns, Long Island, Queens & Brooklyn

A Centuries-Old Schism Deepens

Pages 9, 10, 11, 13 & 15

Shia Iran and Sunni Saudi Arabia Clash

Around the

Community

42 Paint Nite with Friends at CAHAL

70

pg

100

New Year, New You Yeshiva Har Torah Warms the IDF

How to Break Old Habits and Form New Ones

56

Rav Malkiel Kotler Visits Yeshiva of South Shore

pg

Pesach Vacation Section

92

An Israeli Operation You’ve Never Heard of – Until Now An Interview with Rabbi Yussie Lieber

Starts on Page 118

pg

Page 59

PAGE 26

– See pages 3 & 33

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BAYSWATER

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DECEMBER 31, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Dear Readers,

L

ooking from the outside, they all look the same. People say this about our community – how all Jews look alike with their yarmulkas and skirts. But within the community, we know that we are all different and although we endeavor not to judge others by their appearances, we can sometimes tell what allegiances a person has just by how they dress. For example, if a person is wearing a shtreimel and a suit without a tie, we know they’re probably Chassidish.

And within the Chassidish community, one can tell which chassidus they follow based on the type of shtreimel, spodek or garb they wear.

I was thinking about this when I read our cover story this week. The article focuses on Saudi Arabia and Iran, the two opposing powers in the Middle East.

When most of us look at the Middle East, as Jews, we tend to see Israel vs. the Arab world. But there’s so much more to the region – and the conflict has been going on long before the State of Israel was on the map.

The Sunni and the Shiite struggle started just years after the religion of Islam was established. And it’s been a vicious and bloody battle since. In fact, members of ISIS view Shiites as apostates and believe they should die so as to forge a pure ver-

sion of Islam. Much of the fighting during the Arab Spring took place because of tensions between Sunni and Shiite groups.

Understandably, many in the West do not understand the underlying friction in the region. And many believe that President George W. Bush didn’t completely understand what he was doing when he helped topple the regime of Saddam Hussein in Iraq. Iraq is a country with a majority Shiite population. But Sunnis in the nation held the power at the time.

As such, Iraq, which was Sunni-led, was a foil for its neighbor Iran, a Shiite country, balancing the powers in the Middle East.

But once Saddam was ousted, the Shiite majority was able to gain control and the power in the Middle East shifted. Now Iran has much more power than it used to, opposed mainly by Sunni Saudi Arabia.

Essentially, the tensions highlighted this week between Iran and Saudi Arabia are more than just a conflict between two nations. It’s an age-old battle between Muslim nations that blares from headlines every few years. Being that we can never fully understand that region, it may just be best for America to sit this one out and let them fight among themselves.

Wishing you a wonderful week, Shoshana

Yitzy Halpern PUBLISHER

publisher@fivetownsjewishhome.com

Yosef Feinerman MANAGING EDITOR

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The Jewish Home | DECEMBER 31, 2015

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JANUARY 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Contents LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

8

COMMUNITY Readers’ Poll

8

Community Happenings

42

NEWS

106

Global

13

National

32

Odd-but-True Stories

40

A Centuries-Old Schism Deepens: Shia Iran and Sunni Saudi Arabia Clash 100

ISRAEL Israel News

22

My Me’ona by Rafi Sackville

90

An Israeli Operation You’ve Never Heard of – Until Now, an Interview with Rabbi Yussie Lieber 96 PEOPLE The Names of our Nation’s Ships by Avi Heiligman

102

PARSHA Rabbi Wein

78

The Shmuz

80

JEWISH THOUGHT Yo-Yo Piety by Eytan Kobre

82

Getting the Point by Rabbi Jonathan Gewirtz

84

Righteous Leadership by Rabbi Naphtali Hoff

86

JEWISH HISTORY The Incredible Story of Ignatz Timothy Trebitsch-Lincoln, Part V By Rabbi Pini Dunner 88

Dear Editor, This is in response to a letter printed last week by Deb H. There is no incongruity between Brendy J. Siev’s article, “How The World Runs on Israeli Products,” and my article “Almost Qualified,” about bungling bureaucracy in Israel. If anything, they complement one another. In many regards Israel is a utopia of sorts: our technological prowess is quite unparalleled for so young a country. On the other hand, many of the governmental departments, like the Ministry of Education, run on antiquated systems, which either run behind modern trends or too blindly into bewildering maelstroms of change.

What Deb H must keep in mind is that despite the quagmire I find myself in (I shan’t be fully qualified until September of this year), I am by no means disheartened. On the contrary, no one ever promised me a rose garden. I shall persevere, and I will become fully qualified and that, in and of itself, is another miracle. For yes, Israel does work, however slowly. It is a country that demands patience, steadfastness and devotion. If one is prepared to devote themselves to it, everything

is possible.

I write about the nuances of Israeli life, not the bigger, more worldly picture we think of when describing the miracles of this magnificent country. And when examining the nuances of life in any country, we will always find a soft underbelly that oftentimes gives us pause and leaves us breathless, but never for too long.

What gives, Deb H, is Israel. It gives to those who are prepared to accept it for both its beauty and its blemishes.

Rafi Sackville Maalot, Western Galil

Dear Editor, This week, a reader responded to your dating column with outrage, saying that the columnists were too quick to refer a couple to therapy or separation because of certain cues.

The woman who posed her question to the column told them that her husband of a few months was demanding that she stop reading secular books, something she enjoys.

The letter writer maintained that all that was wrong with the husContinued on page 12

PARENTING Anger, Part V by Rabbi Dani Staum

124

HEALTH & FITNESS Due Diligence, Part II by Deb Hirschhorn, PhD

104

The #1 New Year’s Resolution by Cindy Weinberger MS, RD, CDN

106

No Bumpers, Please by Hylton I Lightman, MD, DCH (SA), FAAP

107

FOOD & LEISURE The Aussie Gourmet: Friday Night Tapas

112

LIFESTYLES (Oh No, Not Another Column about) New Year, New You by Brendy J. Siev 92

102

Dating Dialogue, Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LMSW 108 Your Money

Restaurant - Relationship by Rivki Rosenwald, Esq., CLC

132 134

HUMOR Centerfold Uncle Moishy Fun Page

76 126

POLITICAL CROSSFIRE Notable Quotes Space: The Visionaries Take Over by Charles Krauthammer CLASSIFIEDS

How do you eat your sushi?

114 122 127

24 68 % % 4 4 %

With chopsticks

With a fork

%

With my fingers

I don’t eat sushi

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

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JANUARY 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

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JANUARY 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Continued from 8

band was his communication problems. I agree that this husband in question does not have a handle on proper communication with his new wife. Indeed, she is writing in to a newspaper panel for advice and not speaking with her spouse about her concern, which leads me to think that both people in the marriage have trouble communicating.

But I would like to bring something up to the letter writer and to your readers. While dating – and even when married – one’s antennae should be raised when one person puts demands on the other, even if it’s for “religious reasons.”

To demand that a girl wear certain clothes or go to certain places can be considered controlling. If the person you are dating is trying to make you someone you are not, then that should make you think twice. You should not have to change who you are because you want to get married.

You should be able to keep your core values and find the right person who will cherish and respect you – just as you are.

Best of luck, Shani Goldenberg

Dear Editor, It says in the Talmud: If you save a life it is as if you saved the world.

While I’m in favor of the rights of individuals, many of New York’s homeless have multiple problems including mental illness. Accolades to Governor Cuomo for doing what must be done to save the lives of New York’s most unfortunate by issuing an executive order to bring all homeless people inside during extreme freezing weather. As a compassionate state we must see that the disenfranchised are sheltered and safe. Hopefully, all efforts will be made to see that our shelters are safe for those we choose to protect.

Way to go governor!

Joseph M. Varon Past President Northeast Queens Jewish Community Council

Dear Editor, President Obama’s record on our Constitutional Second Amendment rights is an abysmal one; his recent executive gun control measures are especially deplorable to all law-abiding American citizens. The

We pride ourselves on having the most diverse range of products, and offering amongst the most competitive rates in

framers of the Constitution considered the Second Amendment indispensable for preserving our Republic and protecting our constitutional rights. One palpable feature of all monarchies and totalitarian governments is that they disarm their own citizens, for every monarch and dictator is acquainted with the proposition that the only obstruction between government and its people is an armed citizenry; without it, we would be subject to the whims of a despotic and authoritarian regime.

Conservative icon and radio host Rush Limbaugh noted this when he said, “What’s the purpose of the Second Amendment? To ensure that the government doesn’t violate the First.”

This administration has evinced utter animosity of our inalienable rights, and no other administration has done more to corrode our civil liberties and to violate constitutional and federal laws at every corner than this one. The objective of gun control isn’t to protect us and reduce crime—it is to disarm us; if it was, then why, for instance, would the president model his gun proposals after Australia and Britain, which have confiscated their citizens’ guns? Or why is he so complacent with the Iranian regime—the number one state-sponsor of terrorism worldwide—possessing nuclear weapons? Or else, why is he constantly freeing terrorists from Guantanamo Bay Prison? Moreover, myriads of studies examining the correlation between gun control and murder rates conclude that armed citizens reduce crime, and that gun control is useless. One notable and often-cited examination of this was a Harvard study conducted

by American criminologist and con-

stitutional lawyer Don B. Kates and Canadian criminologist and university professor Gary Mauser, Would Banning Firearms Reduce Murder and Suicide? A Review of International and Domestic Evidence which clearly demonstrates that states and countries with the most firearms have the lowest murder rates; there are many more studies which have reached the same conclusion. A case in point is Kennesaw, Georgia, dubbed “Gun Town, USA,” in which every citizen is required to possess a firearm—and expectedly, this small town has one of the lowest crime rates in the nation. And the left’s argument against an armed citizenry is illogical and incoherent: How will disarming law-abiding citizens who obtain their firearms legally, and who don’t massacre people, protect against the non-law-abiding—i.e., criminals—who obtain their firearms legally or illegally who do massacre people?! Is anyone aware of the fact that the shooters in the past 15 mass shootings passed background checks? And since 1950, all but two public mass shootings in America have occurred in gun-free zones!

Thomas Jefferson, in a letter to James Madison dated December 20, 1787, wrote, “What country can preserve its liberties if their rulers are not warned from time to time that their people preserve the spirit of resistance. Let them take arms.”

The only impediment to government tyranny—as perceived by the framers—and the only rational antidote to reduce incidences of murder and crime generally, is an armed citizenry.

Sincerely, Rafi Metz

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The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

The Week In News

Iran Unveils New Missile

Iran unveiled a new underground missile depot on Tuesday with state television showing Emad precision-guided missiles in store which the United States says can take a nuclear warhead and violate a 2010 U.N. Security Council resolution.

The defiant move to publicize Iran’s missile program seemed certain to irk the United States as it plans to dismantle nearly all sanctions on Iran under a breakthrough nuclear agreement.

Tasnim news agency and state television video said the underground facility, situated in mountains and run by Iran’s Revolutionary Guards, was inaugurated by the speaker of parliament, Ali Larijani.

Release of the one-minute video followed footage of another underground missile depot last October.

The United States says the Emad, which Iran tested in October, would be capable of carrying a nuclear warhead and U.S. officials say Washington will respond to the Emad tests with fresh sanctions against Iranian individuals and businesses linked to the program.

The regime’s boasting about its missile capabilities are a challenge for U.S. President Barack Obama’s administration as the United States and European Union plan to dismantle nearly all international sanctions against Tehran under the nuclear deal reached in July.

Iran has abided by the main terms of the nuclear deal, which require it to give up material that world powers feared could be used to make an atomic weapon and accept other restrictions on its nuclear program.

But President Hassan Rouhani ordered his defense minister last week

to expand the missile program. The Iranian missiles under development boast much improved accuracy over the current generation, which experts say is likely to improve their effectiveness with conventional warheads.

The Revolutionary Guards’ second-in-command, Brigadier General Hossein Salami, said last Friday that Iran’s depots and underground facilities are so full that they do not know how to store their new missiles.

Seems like we may have made a deal with the devil.

Syria Deadliest Place for Journalists

According to the Committee to Protect Journalists, sixty-nine journalists lost their lives on the job this year. Of those, twenty-eight of them were slain by Islamic militant groups, including al-Qaeda and ISIS. The New York-based organization says Syria again was the deadliest place for journalists, though the number of deaths there in 2015 – thirteen – was lower than in previous years of the conflict. “These journalists are the most vulnerable,” Joel Simon, the committee’s executive director, said of reporters and broadcasters working in Syria and other areas inundated with Islamic extremists. “This is, clearly based on the data, an incredible risk for journalists.”

Those killed by Islamic extremist groups this year include the eight journalists killed in the attack in Paris in January at the office of satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo, which had published caricatures of Islam’s Prophet Muhammad. The al-Qaeda group in the Arabian Peninsula claimed responsibility for the attack in which two gunmen massacred 12 people. They said the massacre

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was perpetrated in “revenge for the prophet.”

In October, two Syrian journalists, Fares Hamadi and Ibrahim Abd al-Qader, were killed by Islamic State militants.

While some of the deaths in 2015 were among reporters covering conflict zones, journalists in several countries were also killed after reporting on sensitive subjects. At least 28 of the reporters who were killed had received threats before their deaths, the Committee to Protect Journalists said. In Brazil, Gleydson Carvalho, a radio broadcaster who often criticized local police and politicians for purported wrongdoing, was shot and killed while presenting his afternoon radio show in August. The committee tracked six killings in Brazil this year – the highest it has recorded there.

Other countries with several journalists killed included Bangladesh, where extremist groups are suspected in the deaths of four bloggers and a publisher, and South Sudan, where five journalists traveling with a local official were killed in an ambush by unidentified gunmen. The killings in Bangladesh have raised concerns that religious extremism is taking

hold in the traditionally moderate South Asian country.

Iraq and Yemen also saw at least five journalists killed in 2015.

Diet Change Causes Italian Obesity

The Mediterranean diet, a longtime favorite of many doctors and dieticians, is becoming more and more unpopular in Italy. A study has shown that fewer than half of Italians now eat a traditional diet rich in vegetables, olive oil, pasta and fish.

Instead, many people are turning to foods more commonly found

in the British or North American diet, including red meat and butter.

Scientists at the Institute of Clinical Physiology in Pisa found that a diet low in fruit and vegetables and high in dairy and protein was linked with obesity – a phenomenon once rare in Italy, but now increasingly common.

The study, published in the Eating and Weight Disorders journal, measured to what extent Italians adhere to the principles of the Mediterranean diet on a scale of one to ten.

“Fifty years ago our country measured between eight and 10, depending on the region,” said study coordinator Antonino De Lorenzo, a diet and nutrition professor at the University of Rome Tor Vergata. “Now it’s less than two. Almost like in the United States, where it’s less than one.”

Overall, only 43 percent of Italians now eat a diet rich in vegetables, olive oil, pasta and fish. Instead, one Italian in three follows a diet classed as “lacking in fruit and vegetables,” eating an average of one or two vegetable portions a week.

The findings come several years after Italy was found to have the highest proportion of overweight children in Europe.

Apple Settles For $350M

Tech giant Apple has agreed to pay $348 million to the Italian taxation authority to settle a case of suspected fraud. The company’s Italian subsidiary and several of its senior executives had been under investigation over its alleged failure to comply with obligations to declare its earnings in Italy between 2008 and 2013.

According to reports, Apple Italia should have paid corporation tax of 880 million euros for the period. The settlement comes against a backdrop of mounting controversy over the tax arrangements of multinational groups who use cross-border corporate structures to reduce their tax bills, sometimes with the help of secret and potentially illegal “sweetheart” deals.

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pany’s European operation which is headquartered in Ireland, a country with one of the lowest levels of corporation tax in the European Union.

Ireland taxes corporate earnings from normal business activities at a rate of 12.5 percent, in contrast to the standard 27.5 percent rate in Italy.

Earlier this month, Apple chief Tim Cook described accusations that the world’s richest company was sidestepping U.S. taxes by stashing cash overseas as “political [garbage]” and insisted: “We pay every tax dollar we owe.” The settlement of the tax dispute will not halt the criminal investigation into the conduct of three Apple Italia executives but will likely reduce the severity of any sanctions they may face.

Unease as Top N.K. Negotiator Dies A car accident has taken the life of the 73-year-old top relations official in North Korea. The loss of Kim Yang Gon may potentially exacerbate the relationship between North and South Korea. The death of the head of United Front Department at the ruling Workers’ Party was announced on the state radio station along with very few details.

While North Korea’s road conditions are poor, the lack of detail helped feed speculation in South Korean media that Kim’s death was suspicious, though South Korean officials declined to comment. Similar speculation arose in past years following reported traffic deaths of high-level North Korean officials.

Before his death, there had been no signs that Kim Yang Gon was engaged in any major factional feuding with other officials. He was among officials who most frequently accompanied Kim Jong Un during his inspection visits to army units and factories, a strong indication that he

was one of the leader’s trusted aides.

Analysts in Seoul say strained ties between the rival Koreas could continue following the unexpected death of Kim, who had long handled relations with South Korea. The KCNA did not say who would replace him. Earlier this month, the rival Koreas ended rare high-level talks without any agreement.

In August, Kim Yang Gon attended marathon talks at the Korean border that defused a military standoff triggered by landmine explosions blamed on Pyongyang that maimed two South Korean soldiers. The two Koreas subsequently resumed their first reunions of families separated by war since early 2014, but hopes of improved ties subsided after this month’s inter-Korean talks failed to reach any breakthrough.

The Korean Peninsula remains in a technical state of war since the 1950-53 Korean War ended with an armistice, not a peace treaty.

U.S. Listed As Threat to Russia’s Security

The American-Russian relationship has become a lot colder lately.

A new document that was signed by Vladimir Putin on January 1 names the United States as one of the threats to Russia’s national security for the first time. The document, “About the Strategy of National Security of Russian Federation,” replaces a 2009 version, endorsed by then- President Dmitry Medvedev, the current prime minister, which mentioned neither the United States nor NATO. The new version states that Russia has managed to heighten its role in solving global problems and international conflicts which has caused a reaction by the West. “The strengthening of Russia happens against the background of new threats to the national security, which has complex and interrelated nature,” the document says. Conducting an independent policy, “both international and domestic” has caused “counteraction from the USA and its allies, which are

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

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JANUARY 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

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striving to retain their dominance in global affairs.” That, in turn, is likely to lead to “political, economic, military and informational pressure” on Russia.

Relations between Russia and the West reached a low after Russian forces annexed the Crimean peninsula from Ukraine in March 2014, after protests in Ukraine forced its pro-Moscow president to flee to Russia. Since then, the West has accused Russia of aiding insurgents in eastern Ukraine. Moscow denies actively assisting the rebels.

The United States and the European Union have since imposed wide-ranging sanctions against Russian individuals and companies.

Moscow has reacted by restricting food and other goods from the EU. The document says that the United States and the EU have supported an “anti-constitutional coup d’etat in Ukraine,” which led to a deep divide in Ukrainian society and a military conflict. It also names the expansion of NATO as a threat to Russia’s national security and said that the United States has expanded its network of military-biological laboratories in countries near Russia.

The report, which updated an initial one in 2014, blamed the higher-than-usual rates on “ascertained or suspected exposure to a combination of environmental contaminants that can be emitted or released from illegal hazardous waste dump sites and/or the uncontrolled burning of both urban and hazardous waste.”

Residents have long complained about adverse health effects from the dumping, which has poisoned the underground wells that irrigate the farmland which provides vegetables for much of Italy’s center and south.

Over the years, police have sequestered dozens of fields because their irrigation wells contained high levels of lead, arsenic and the industrial solvent tetrachloride.

Authorities say the contamination is due to the Camorras’ multibillion-dollar racket in disposing of toxic waste, mainly from industries in Italy’s wealthy north that ask no questions about where the garbage goes as long as it’s taken off their hands – for a fraction of the cost of legal disposal.

Mob’s Toxic Waste To Blame for Cancer

Outrage, Riots and Vengeance Vowed between Riyadh and Tehran

After decades of toxic waste dumping near Naples, Italy, the Italian Parliament has run a health survey with very scary results. Higher than normal incidents of death and cancer have been noted in the area thanks to the Camorra mafia dumping toxic chemicals. The report by the National Institute of Health said it was “critical” to address the rates of babies in the provinces of Naples and Caserta who are being hospitalized in the first year of life for “excessive” instances of tumors, especially brain tumors.

Saudi Arabia and Iran officially cut ties this week. The severing of their relationship came in response to the storming of the Saudi Embassy in Tehran in an escalating fight between the rival Middle East powers over Riyadh’s execution of a Shiite Muslim cleric.

Saudi Foreign Minister Adel alJubeir told reporters that the envoy of Shiite Iran had been asked to leave Saudi Arabia within 48 hours. The kingdom, he said, would not allow the Islamic republic to undermine its

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security. Iranian protesters stormed the Saudi embassy in Tehran early on Sunday and Shiite Iran’s top leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, predicted “divine vengeance” for the execution of Sheikh Nimr al-Nimr, an outspoken opponent of the ruling Al Saud family in Saudi Arabia.

Jubeir asserted the attack in Tehran was in line with what he said were earlier Iranian assaults on foreign embassies there and with Iranian policies of destabilizing the region by creating “terrorist cells” in Saudi Arabia. “The kingdom, in light of these realities, announces the cutting of diplomatic relations with Iran and requests the departure of delegates of diplomatic missions of the embassy and consulate and offices related to it within 48 hours,” he said.

Speaking on Iranian state television, Deputy Foreign Minister Hossein Amir-Abdollahian said in Tehran’s first response that by cutting diplomatic ties, Riyadh could not cover up “its major mistake of executing Sheikh Nimr.” The United States, Saudi Arabia’s biggest backer in the West, responded by encouraging diplomatic engagement and calling for leaders in the region to take “affirmative steps” to reduce

tensions.

Tensions between revolutionary, mainly Shiite Iran and Saudi Arabia’s conservative Sunni monarchy have run high for years as they backed opposing forces in wars and political conflicts across the Middle East, usually along sectarian lines. However, the execution of a cleric whose death Iran had warned would “cost Saudi Arabia dearly” and the storming of the kingdom’s Tehran embassy have greatly raised the stakes.

Can Russia and Japan Officially Make Peace?

At no time during the 70 years since World War II have Russia and

Japan signed a peace treaty. Four Japanese islands were seized by Soviet troops at the end of the war and have always been a touchy topic between the two nations. This week, Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe courted Russian President Vladimir Putin in Japan and renewed his call for a treaty.

“President Putin and I share the view that it is abnormal for our nations not to have a peace treaty 70 years since [the war],” Abe said at his first press conference of the year.

“The issues related to the Northern Territories cannot be resolved without exchanges between the leaders,” he added, referring to the Japanese appellation for the islands. “I will continue my dialogue with President Putin when opportunities arise,” he continued. “We will explore the most appropriate timing for his visit to Japan.”

Abe is hosting a meeting of Group of Seven leaders in May. Putin is not expected to attend and Abe did not suggest otherwise. He emphasized the need for dialogue, though, saying the international community must encourage Russia’s participation in the world’s fight against terrorism and the Syrian crisis. “It is also im-

portant that we gain Russia’s constructive engagement to deal with issues of terrorism, Syria and Iran,” he stated.

Abe also stressed at his press conference that he was focused this year on reviving Japan’s fragile economy and hosting the G7 summit.

Beijing Suspected in Missing Hong Kong Writers

According to a Hong Kong lawmaker, Chinese security officers kidnapped five publishing company employees, possibly because of a planned book about the former private life of President Xi Jinping.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

“Hong Kong people are very shocked and appalled,” Democratic legislator Albert Ho said. The disappearances add to growing unease that freedoms in the semi-autonomous Chinese city are being eroded.

Mighty Current Media publishing house has been known to publish many works that are critical of the Chinese government. Under Hong Kong’s mini-constitution, it enjoys freedom of speech as Chinese law enforcers have no right to operate in the city. Ho said it was “outrageous” for Lee Bo, an editor at Mighty Current, to have disappeared in the city. “We have a reason to believe he was politically abducted and illegally transferred to the mainland,” he said. He was last heard from on Wednesday.

Many fear that Lee and the four others, who disappeared in October, are being held in mainland China to quell their anti-China sentiments.

“There were warnings given to the owners not to publish this book. This book has not yet gone to print, but probably it has something to do with this book,” Ho added. Pro-Beijing lawmaker and former Hong Kong security chief Regina Ip urged the city’s government to “seriously handle the matter” as mainland officials were not entitled to carry out official duties in Hong Kong.

Mexican Mayor Killed First Day on the Job

for all of the state’s mayors, though he gave no details on what that involved.

Following Mota’s killing, two suspects were killed in a clash with police and three others arrested. Officials gave few other details, though state Attorney General Javier Perez Duron said the suspects had been tied to other crimes.

Temixco, with about 100,000 people, is a suburb of Cuernavaca, a city famed among tourists for its colonial center and gardens. “The city of eternal spring” was long a favorite weekend getaway for people from nearby Mexico City. But drug and extortion gangs have plagued the area in recent years, driving away some tourists and residents. The expressway – and drug routes – between Mexico City and the country’s murder capital of Acapulco cut through Cuernavaca and Temixco.

Drugs, kidnappings and extortion in the area were once under the control of the Beltran Leyva cartel, but that group’s collapse a few years ago unleashed fierce competition among its progeny and rivals. In December 2014, a state lawmaker who was a candidate for mayor of Temixco from the same party as Mota was kidnapped there. Authorities rescued him the following day.

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One day after being sworn in as mayor of a gang-troubled Mexican city, Gisela Mota was killed inside her home. A 32-year-old woman, an 18-year-old man and a minor are being held in custody.

Morelos Gov. Graco Ramirez ordered flags on state buildings flown at half-staff and called for three days of mourning. He blamed organized crime for killing the 33-year-old Mota, a former federal congresswoman.

Ramirez ordered security measures

Since May, when the national health ministry confirmed the first cases of Zika virus, the mosquito-borne disease has swept the country of Brazil, infecting at least half a million people. The minor symptoms are low-grade fever, skin rashes and achy joints. However, in some cases it has led to grim complications. Among them is microcephaly, a condition that leads to exceptionally small infant head size, which causes lasting neurological damage and can lead to death.

By December 22, Brazilian authorities had confirmed 2,782 cases of microcephaly this year, a five-fold increase over the yearly average since 2010.

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the sleeper virus suddenly remerged from the forests of Uganda. The last outbreak is recorded in 1947 and was known only for scattered outbreaks in the Pacific Islands since then. Experts are flabbergasted as to how it wound up and turned into an urban public health emergency halfway around the globe. Dennis Fujita and Felipe Scassi of the Institute of Tropical Medicine of Sao Paulo think the virus might have arrived with athletes or fans during the 2014 World Cup, or possibly by way of South America’s Pacific coast after an outbreak on Easter Island.

After the surge in microcephaly cases, President Dilma Rousseff declared a “war on the virus,” deploying police and even the armed forces to join public health workers in a doorto-door mission to preach prevention and root out the disease.

Brazilian media have been carrying daily reports and lengthy advice sessions on how to minimize the risk of infection, including graphic demonstrations on how to clean drains and empty pot plant trays and other receptacles where water is likely to stagnate and provide ideal mosquito-breeding conditions.

September and October are primetime for combatting mosquitoes. In those months in Brazil milder weather makes bug control manageable.

By December, when summer temperatures spike and mosquitoes are swarming, there is not much to do.

Brazil has creditable disease-control protocols in place but the outbreak came fast and quickly overwhelmed government-run health services. Testing for Zika is a complex and painstaking process that only 16 government-controlled labs nationwide are currently authorized to perform.

To date, there is no vaccine for Zika and no known treatment.

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New Photo of Shalit during His Captivity Released

On Wednesday, Hamas published a new image of Gilad Shalit from when he was held captive by the terror organization in Gaza.

In the photo, Shalit is standing behind Hamas terrorist Abed a-Rahman al-Mubasar, who served as one of Shalit’s captors. Both men are seen smiling in the photo. The publication came shortly after the death of al-Mubasar earlier this week. He was killed during a tunnel collapse in Gaza.

Until his death, Al-Mubasar was the last remaining living captor of the former IDF soldier. He had taken part in the raid which captured Shalit – and killed his comrades Hanan Barak and Pavel Slutzker – along with fellow Hamas terrorists Sami al-Hamaidah, Abdallah Labad, Khaled Abu Bakhrah and Mahmoud Rashid Daoud, all of whom are now dead as well.

The shirt Shalit is wearing in the picture is the same as the one he wore when he returned to Israel, leading to the conclusion the photograph was taken on the day of his release which would explain the smile on his face.

On Sunday, a video that included clips of Shalit smiling during a barbecue while in captivity was released by the Iz al-Din al-Qassam Brigades, the military wing of Hamas. He is seen eating, watching TV and reading letters from his family. It is obvious that the clip is intended to prove that Hamas provides humane treatment to its prisoners.

The video focuses on a special unit of its military wing called the Shadow Unit, which it says was responsi-

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

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the area is usually crowded on Fridays, the weather, which was cold and wet, prevented many from venturing out. Alon Bakal, 26, and Shimon Ruimi, 30, lost their lives in the attack.

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Nasha Milhelm, 31, an Israeli-Arab, has been the center of a manhunt since the attack. On Tuesday, he was not yet apprehended and police arrested his father, Muhammed Milhem, and other relatives on suspicion that they helped hide the terrorist.

Initially, Muhammed offered assistance to the police, as he contacted police when he saw him on the video of the attack and told police he stole his submachine gun.

Police have been going house-tohouse in search of the suspect. “All of our emphasis at this moment in time is finding that suspect and all the different organizations – security organizations here in Israel – are working together to find that man,” police spokesman Micky Rosenfeld assured.

On Tuesday, police focused their search on the Wadi Ara region.

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NYS Assemblyman Michael Simanowitz ble for guarding Shalit while he was a Hamas captive. The unit, the video says, “knows Shalit well.” Among the unit’s duties, according to the video, are “to guard enemy captives held by the al-Qassam Brigades, to hide them and to thwart enemy attempts to find them.” It also states that the unit “treats enemy captives honorably, in line with the rules of Islam,

and provides for their needs, taking into account the treatment given to the prisoners of the resistance in the hands of the enemy.”

Shalit was set free after over five years of captivity as part of a controversial prisoner exchange deal between Israel and Hamas in October 2011.

Shooting Attack in Tel Aviv Two people were killed and eight were wounded when a gunman opened fire outside a pub on Dizengoff Street in central Tel Aviv on Friday afternoon. Thankfully, although

Russian president Vladimir Putin sent good wishes for the year 2016 to Bibi Netanyahu this week. The Kremlin published open messages on its website to numerous other heads of state. In his message to Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu, Putin noted with satisfaction that Russian-Israeli relations have “retained their positive dynamics,” even improving in the last

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The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

year.

Putin added that these positive dynamics are an expression of “his resolve to make every effort in the coming year to enhance the entire range of bilateral ties for the benefit of the people of Russia and Israel and in the interests of ensuring stability and security in the Middle East.” Israel and Russia have seen an increase in cooperation over the last year, most notably with the establishment of a hotline to coordinate each country’s respective activities in Syria. Last week, Russia’s special envoy to Syria visited the Jewish state to discuss Israeli interests with regard to advancing an international solution to the civil war in Syria.

On an economic level, Israel has also benefitted from a raft of retaliatory economic measures Russia enacted against Turkey after Ankara downed one of its warplanes. Israeli tourism providers have already begun selling the Jewish state as an alternative attraction to Turkey for Russians seeking a break in the sun and say additional deals are in the works.

As for food imports, Russia’s Minister of Agriculture Alexander Tkachev noted in November that his country would be replacing Turkish

produce with goods from Iran, Israel and Morocco.

Violence at the Northern Border

Monday didn’t pass without noise on the Israeli-Lebanon border. The military said that a makeshift explosive device detonated near an Israeli army bulldozer and another vehicle near the border with Lebanon in the late afternoon. According to initial reports, there were no known injuries from the attack.

Tensions have been mounting between Israel and Lebanese terror group Hezbollah over the alleged Is-

raeli assassination on December 19 of a top operative, Samir Kuntar, who led a raid into northern Israel in 1979 in which four Israelis were killed.

Hezbollah gladly took responsibility for the Monday attack, which it said was carried out by a cell named for Kuntar, killed in an airstrike in Damascus last month. The group bragged that it was successful in destroying an IDF Hummer and that the people inside were injured. However, despite their jubilation, the IDF maintained that no one was injured.

Israel fired “targeted” artillery shells into Lebanon in response to the attack, the IDF said in a statement.

Some 20 shells were reportedly fired from Shebaa Farms, known in Israel as Har Dov. Nine of them landed near the Lebanese village of al-Wazzani, located just north of the Israel-Lebanon border.

The IDF has been reportedly firing on positions in southern Lebanon for a number of days in an attempt to keep terrorists away from the border fence. Israeli residents of the north have been instructed to stay in their homes. The IDF has also closed some roads in the area surrounding the border with Lebanon.

ISIS Fears IDF

Not many people make their way out of ISIS jihadists’ hands in order to give a firsthand account of their horrific experiences. But Jurgen Todenhofer, a journalist, claims to have been embedded in the ranks of the Islamic State for 10 days and has reported that IS leaders threatened to attack Israel, calling it the only country they fear.

“The only country ISIS fears is Israel. They told me they know the Israeli army is too strong for them,” Todenhofer, a former German parliament member, told the Jewish News last Sunday in an interview.

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Supposedly the terror group is fully confident that it could defeat American and British ground troops but didn’t have the same sentiment regarding Israel.

“They think they can defeat U.S. and UK ground troops, who they say have no experience in city guerrilla or terrorist strategies. But they know the Israelis are very tough as far as fighting against guerrillas and terrorists,” he said.

The journalist said the jihadists “told me the Israeli army is the real danger.”

“We can’t defeat them with our current strategy. These people [the IDF] can fight a guerrilla war,” the IS fighters said, according to Todenhofer.

Todenhofer was the first Western journalist who was given extensive access to the group, spending 10 days with its fighters last year. This interview followed an announcement from the head of the Islamic State terrorist group, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, in which he issued an explicit threat against Israel for the first time.

In an audio recording released on social media, al-Baghdadi warned that his forces will “soon meet [the Jews] in Palestine,” Israel’s Channel 2 television reported. The terrorist group’s elusive head added that “Israel will pay a heavy price at the hands of our fighters.”

“Palestine will not be your land or your home,” al-Baghdadi vowed.

“It will be a graveyard for you. Allah has gathered you in Palestine so that the Muslims may kill you.” He continued, “The Jews thought that we forgot about Palestine and diverted our attention from it. Never, Jews.

We have not forgotten Palestine for a moment. The leaders of the jihad fighters will surround you on a day you think is far, but we see it as close.

We are coming closer to you day by day,” he blustered.

2015: Fewest IDF Deaths in a Decade According to a report released on Sunday, thirty-six Israeli soldiers lost their lives in 2015, the lowest toll the IDF has experienced in a decade.

Although Israel is in the midst of an ongoing wave of terror which has killed approximately 25 citizens and injured dozens more, there were no

large military operations in 2015, and this fact was cited by a military official as one of the reasons for the low death toll.

Six soldiers were killed in terror attacks and in operative activity. Six others died of illness and seven more soldiers were killed in traffic collisions while on leave.

In 2014, the year of the Israel’s Operation Protective Edge in Gaza, the Ynet news site reported 105 dead soldiers, with 67 of them killed during the operation.

According to a military official, 2015 was the third year in a row in which no soldiers were killed in training accidents.

U.S. Continues to Spy on Israel

When it comes to matters of state, friends aren’t always treated like friends.

Following a string of embarrassing revelations of the United States spying on friendly heads of state, President Barack Obama ordered intelligence agencies to end the practice – except for when it came to Israel.

A former high-level U.S. intelligence officer – who was codenamed “Robert” and was privy to most of the United States’ intelligence information on Israel over the past three decades – made the revelation in an interview with Yediot Aharonot. He said Obama’s order to spy agencies to stop spying against friendly heads of state came in conjunction with a secondary order to continue spying on Netanyahu. “We all understood what that meant,” he says.

Following a recent report in the Wall Street Journal, which published an investigative report about the United States’ spying efforts against their ally in the Middle East, “Robert” felt the he was finally able to reveal to the Israeli press just how far the U.S. went in spying on the only democracy in the Middle East.

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wondering about what we perceived to be a kind of Israeli naiveté, or a certain kind of complacency, when discussing highly classified secrets on encrypted communication systems,” Robert says. “After all, the ISNU [Israeli Sigint National Unit, the nickname given to IDF Intelligence Unit 8200 by the American intelligence community] managed to break so many measures considered safe by your enemies, that you should know that anything that could be decrypted. You’re a lot more vulnerable and transparent than you think.”

Robert told Yediot Ahronot that the U.S. had been spying on Israel since the first Lebanon war in 1982, during which Defense Minister Ariel Sharon had altercations with the Reagan Administration. Since that time, the abilities of the U.S. to spy on Israel grew during Operation Desert Storm, and continually so with the advancement of new technologies.

After September 11th, when Ariel Sharon put a lot of the Israeli spying technologies and organizations at the disposal of the U.S., the U.S. used the opportunity to learn how Israel’s systems worked, and encroached even further to embed themselves inside the network of Israeli communication systems even at the highest level.

Many of the highly advanced spy technologies, according to Robert, had been turned towards Israel, and while Israel was able to effectively combat some of them, the U.S. still knew quite a bit about even some of the most covert operations that Israel has been undertaking in the past.

For example, the United States knew about the Syrian nuclear reactor being built in Deir ez-Zor, which Israel destroyed in 2007. The U.S. also knew about the assassination of Syrian general Muhammad Suleiman in Tartus in August 2008.

According to the Wall Street Journal report, most of the recent spying that the U.S. has perpetrated against Israel has been aimed at Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu and his top aides. “In the United States, the mindset coming from the Commander in Chief projects onto the soldiers, down to the most junior among them.

Obama despises Netanyahu, and that affects the entire system,” Robert pointed out.

Over the past few years Netanyahu has been repeatedly telling his aides that the U.S. is making great efforts to spy on him. But according to Robert, Netanyahu isn’t paranoid; he’s correct. “The Americans are

making huge efforts to spy on him a lot more than against any other Israeli leader ever.”

Robert says the problem is of a fundamental nature: “The order to use this kind of spying power against Israel, even after Snowden’s leaks and the knowledge that continuing this kind of activity includes a significant political risk, illustrates just how the White House regards the Israeli government. This is not how you treat friends. This is how you spy against enemies.”

New Neck Guard for the IDF

In an effort to prevent injuries and fatalities, the IDF will distribute a newly designed neck guard to better protect soldiers serving in the West Bank against the threat of knife attacks in the upcoming weeks.

Stabbings have become a method of choice for Palestinians in the latest round of violence against Israeli civilians and soldiers that has swept the country since mid-September.

Though IDF soldiers are mostly protected from attacks with helmets and ceramic bulletproof vests, one sensitive area remains exposed: the neck.

This type of attack is relatively new to the IDF. In the beginning of November, the IDF’s Central Command, which is responsible for the West Bank, contacted the army’s Logistics and Technology Directorate to request new equipment that could protect the soldiers serving there from the kind of attack they were liable to face, Lt. Col. Liron Segel, who runs the directorate’s Personal Protection and Equipment Department, said on Tuesday.

Segel’s unit set out to create such a device, one that would “strike a balance between the amount of area protected and comfort of the soldier,” he said.

The new neck protector does just that, Segel points out. “I’ve given them a solution to the threat of

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

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JANUARY 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

New Laws for the New Year

stabbing attacks.” Even so, “there’s no such thing as 100 percent protection,” he admitted.

The neck guard, which has already been through field tests and will be sent out to forces in the most dangerous areas of the West Bank shortly, slips on beneath the soldier’s regular

protective vest. It is constructed of a special kind of fabric and “special materials” and is made in Israel.

“We have managed to make a product that is flexible, thin and even its weight on your neck is not comparatively that heavy.”

The new device will be handed out

to soldiers in flashpoint sites such as Hebron, the Gush Etzion Junction, Hawara and Tapuah, which have been the most frequent sites of stabbing attacks against soldiers. The final deployment is up to the Central Command, Segel said.

The New Year swept in some new laws across the country.

In California, a controversial law was passed giving judges the authority to seize weapons of people ruled a danger to themselves or others.

California’s “gun violence restraining order” gives judges the authority to seize guns from someone deemed a risk. Proponents say it will reduce suicides and other shootings by empowering family members to remove guns from someone they believe poses a danger. The National Rifle Association, though, called it “one of the most egregious violations of civil liberties ever introduced” in the state.

California law already allows police officers to seize any weapons found during a domestic violence incident and hold them for 48 hours; the new law gives officers the power to search someone’s property if a gun violence restraining order has been issued by a judge.

California isn’t the only state where new gun laws took effect the first day of 2016. In Oregon, a person subject to a restraining order or convicted of certain domestic abuse offenses cannot possess guns or ammunition. On the other hand, in a victory for proponents of right-to-carry laws, in Texas, licensed owners will be allowed to visibly carry holstered handguns. Texas joins 44 other states that currently allow open carrying of guns. Private properties are allowed to enforce their own rules. Three grocery store chains in Texas have publicly said they will bar open carrying of weapons on their premises, and the pushback against the law has gathered attention under the Twitter hashtag #GroceriesNotGuns.

In North Carolina, a new law allows parents to create a credit report for their children, then immediately freeze it. The idea is that it will make

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

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JANUARY 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

it more difficult for identity thieves to steal information of minors. Lawmakers said kids’ credit proves to be an easy and attractive target for crooks because it’s a blank slate that likely won’t get checked for more than a decade until they get their first credit card or bank account.

In Oregon, a new law requires employers with more than 10 employees to provide up to 40 hours of paid sick leave per year to each worker. Oregon is the fourth state to pass a mandatory sick leave law. Full-time, part-time, temporary and seasonal workers are covered under the law. Only federal employees are excluded.

In Michigan, all schools legally must now keep at least two EpiPen injectors on hand, along with staff trained to use them. The injectors contain epinephrine and are used to combat severe allergic reactions. Supporters say the pens can be literal lifesavers for kids who have allergies.

Can a DNA Test Prove your Hawaiian Pedigree?

Rabbi Wein on Leadership Page 78

In Hawaii, residents that are at least 50% Hawaiian can apply for a 99-year homestead lease for just $1 a year. However, when Leighton Pang

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Kee applied for the grant he was denied. The state deemed Pang Kee ineligible for the valuable benefit because he couldn’t prove that he was at least 50% Hawaiian. But Pang Kee would not accept no for an answer and went ahead and sued the state.

He knew he was more than 50% Hawaiian, he just needed a way to prove it. According to his lawsuit, his mother was at least 81.25 percent Native Hawaiian, but his birth certificate didn’t list his biological father.

Pang Kee, who was adopted, knew who his biological father was and searched for his late father’s brother.

He obtained a DNA sample from his uncle that showed there was a 96.35 percent probability that Pang Kee and the man were related, the lawsuit said.

Initially the Department of Hawaiian Home Lands insisted that that wasn’t enough proof. But eventually the agency settled, and has proposed rules that would allow the use of DNA evidence to prove ancestry.

“A Hawaiian is a Hawaiian is a Hawaiian,” said Michelle Kauhane, president and CEO of the Council for Native Hawaiian Advancement.

“Whether they have a drop or more than 50 percent.”

Passed by the U.S. Congress in

1921, the program is meant to provide economic self-sufficiency to Hawaiians by allowing them to use land to live on.

Blood quantum is relevant specifically in situations like these when individuals are applying for a homestead lease.

After the settlement last year of Pang Kee’s 2012 lawsuit, the department agreed to enact the rules. It is now taking comments from beneficiaries about the proposed rule to allow DNA testing for proof of eligibility. The rulemaking process could take up to two years, the department said.

Patrick Kahawaiolaa grew up on a Big Island homestead, where kupuna, or elders, urged him to not let the Hawaiian race die off. “It was ingrained in me by my father. You get married; you make sure you marry a Hawaiian,” he said. “Hawaiian children will never be able to buy a piece of property,” he added, referring to Hawaii’s expensive real estate. “But by their birthright are entitled to a piece of property.”

As part of the settlement, Pang Kee and another woman, Wailana Dasalia, who has a similar situation, are now on the homestead waiting list.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

Puerto Rico Defaults on Debt Payment

After months of speculation, Puerto Rico defaulted on about $174 million of debt payments this week. The U.S. territory has been struggling with more than $72 billion of debt, mostly in the form of municipal bonds. Government financial officials have been shuffling cash from one agency to another in recent months, in desperate triage efforts to pay only the most urgent bills while letting others languish. The bankruptcy stripped cash away from its lower-ranked creditors so that higher-ranked creditors could be paid in full.

Alejandro García Padilla, Puerto Rico’s governor, defended the default as best he could by saying, “It’s very simple. We don’t have money to pay.”

The payment default does not change Puerto Rico’s underlying economic troubles, although it could spur efforts in Congress to find ways to help the island.

With big bond payments looming, Mr. García Padilla announced last week that he had ordered a “clawback,” or recovery, of cash that would have normally been used to pay certain bonds. Since November 30, he said, that cash had instead been diverted to help make a $328 million payment to the island’s general obligation bondholders, who are entitled to be paid first, according to the Puerto Rican constitution.

Standard & Poor’s, the ratings agency, said in a statement on Monday that it was going to downgrade the infrastructure authority’s rating from CC to D. S. & P. did not change ratings on other bonds but added that the lack of current audited financial information created “great uncertainty as to Puerto Rico’s true financial position.”

Minimum Wage Increases for 2016

For many of us, January 1, 2016 came and went and not much changed aside from the date on our checks.

But for many workers and employers the new year brought a welcomed or not-so-welcomed change.

In 13 states, the minimum wage increased on January 1st. Leading up to 2016, the federal minimum wage was $7.25 an hour; as of this year, the highest state minimum wage was $9.32 an hour. But now California and Massachusetts have a minimum wage of $10 an hour and some cities have raised the bar even higher with a $13 hour minimum.

Alaska, California, Massachusetts, and Nebraska all had an increase of $1 to the salaries of their minimum wage workers. New York increased from $8.75 to $9.00. Wages in Arkansas, Connecticut, Hawaii, Maryland, Michigan, Rhode Island, Vermont, and West Virginia all increased as well.

There are some increases in specific cities or fields. For example, Seattle’s new minimum wage is $13 up from $10.50 for some large size companies. The city expects to achieve a $15 minimum wage by 2021. In New York, fast food workers and government employees celebrated a minimum wage jump to $10.50 in New York City and $9.75 in the rest of the state.

The federal government estimates that about 3 million workers are paid minimum wage around the country.

A 2014 study by the Congressional Budget Office found that a national minimum wage of $10.10 an hour would benefit some 16.5 million people, while leading to the elimination of 500,000 jobs due to cost-cutting offsets. The ultimate effect is still a $5 billion increase in total income for people below the poverty line, pulling some 900,000 of them over the threshold.

Don’t be surprised if you notice the impacts of the increases affecting things like your restaurant bill or full service gas station receipt.

Whole Foods Settles Overcharging Case

Ever get to the checkout to find out that your two slices of gefilte fish from the takeout is a whopping $8.75?

Well, in some cases, overcharging may actually be a finable offense.

Whole Foods Market Inc. has agreed to pay $500,000 to resolve an investigation into whether the supermarket chain charged too much for some prepackaged foods at its New York City stores, a city agency announced on Monday.

The New York City Department of Consumer Affairs said the settlement also requires the company to adhere

35

to standards aimed at preventing overcharging.

The department’s commissioner, Julie Menin, said the agreement “will help to ensure New Yorkers are better protected from overcharging.”

The settlement was below the $1.5 million the agency demanded but promised to “put this issue behind us so that we can continue to focus our attention on providing our New York City customers with the highest level of quality and service.”

The Department of Consumer Affairs in June had announced an investigation of Whole Foods after finding its New York City stores routinely overstated the weight of prepackaged meat, dairy and other goods. There are nine stores throughout Manhattan and Brooklyn The overcharges ranged from 80 cents for a package of pecan panko to $14.84 for a package of coconut shrimp, according to the agency, which tested 80 types of food and found that all of them had mislabeled weight.

The co-chief executives of Whole Foods, Walter Robb and John Mackey, subsequently apologized in a YouTube video, saying they “made some mistakes.” The publicity that followed

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JANUARY 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

the probe hurt sales at the Austin, Texas-based chain.

As part of the settlement, the Department of Consumer Affairs said Whole Foods must conduct quarterly in-store audits at all its New York City stores. If agency inspectors identify mislabeled pre-packaged foods at a store, that store must immediately remove all mislabeled products and Whole Foods must check the accuracy of pricing of that and 20 other products from the same department at all city stores, the department said.

The supermarket chain will also be required to implement and enforce policies preventing employees from estimating a package’s weight and conduct training for employees involved in that process.

Despite the settlement, Whole Foods maintains its innocence. They said in a statement that the Department of Consumer Affairs, in announcing the deal, had “misrepresented this agreement,” insisting the company had pre-existing programs that went “above and beyond” the agency’s requirements. Whole Foods insists that “there was no evidence of systematic or intentional misconduct by anyone in the Northeast region or the rest of the company.”

New Elements on the Periodic Table

There is bound to be a Jeopardy question on this in the near future so listen up: how many new elements were added to the periodic table?

Correct answer: four.

The final row of the periodic table is finally complete. This recent amendment to the table renders science textbooks around the world obsolete.

The elements, discovered by scientists in Japan, Russia and America, are the first to be added to the table since 2011, when elements 114

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torah changed

the story of my life It felt like I had tried every segulah out there. I recited Shir Hashirim, davened at the kever of Reb Yonosan ben Uziel several times, promised tzedakah and even traveled to a kever in a dangerous Arab neighborhood that was said to be propitious for shidduchim, but I was still not engaged.

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I was ready to give up, but decided to give it one last try. This last time, I wanted to do something different– something so powerful that would bring my yeshuah a er so many years of fruitless trying.

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and 116 were added. The four were verified on December 30 by the U.S.based International Union of Pure and Applied Chemistry, the global organization that governs chemical nomenclature, terminology and measurement.

IUPAC announced that a Russian-American team of scientists at the Joint Institute for Nuclear Research in Dubna and Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory in California had produced sufficient evidence to claim the discovery of elements 115, 117 and 118.

The body awarded credit for the discovery of element 113, which had also been claimed by the Russians and Americans, to a team of scientists from the Riken institute in Japan.

Kosuke Morita, who was leading the research at Riken, said his team now planned to “look to the unchartered territory of element 119 and beyond.”

Ryoji Noyori, former Riken president and Nobel laureate in chemistry, proclaimed, “To scientists, this is of greater value than an Olympic gold medal.”

The elements, which currently bear placeholder names, will be officially named by the teams that discovered them in the coming months.

Element 113 will be the first element to be named in Asia.

“The chemistry community is eager to see its most cherished table finally being completed down to the seventh row,” said Professor Jan Reedijk, president of the Inorganic Chemistry Division of IUPAC. “IUPAC has now initiated the process of formalizing names and symbols for these elements temporarily named as ununtrium, (Uut or element 113), ununpentium (Uup, element 115), ununseptium (Uus, element 117), and ununoctium (Uuo, element 118).”

New elements are also often named after a mythological concept, a mineral, a place or country, or a property. The four new elements, all of which are manmade, were discovered by slamming lighter nuclei into each other and tracking the following decay of the radioactive super heavy elements. Like other super heavy elements that populate the end of the periodic table, they only exist for fractions of a second before decaying into other elements.

Chicago Attempts to Recall its Mayor The rage regarding recent Chicago police shootings has legislators considering whether voters should be allowed to recall Mayor Rahm Emanuel or future officials who hold his post.

Illinois state law currently addresses only the recall of a governor, a provision voters approved in 2010 after former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich was arrested and impeached. Now, state Rep. La Shawn Ford, a Chicago Democrat, wants voters to also have the power to remove the mayor of the country’s third-largest city.

Despite the conflict in the city, Ford said, “It’s clearly the right thing to have on the books.”

Ford introduced his bill on December 9, the day Emanuel addressed the Chicago City Council and apologized for the death of Laquan McDonald, a black teenager who was shot 16 times by a white police officer in October 2014. Emanuel’s apology came a few weeks after the release of police dash cam video that appeared to show McDonald walking away from officers when he was shot. The video triggered protests and calls for Emanuel’s resignation.

“We understand there’s a desire by some to insert politics into this discussion, but the mayor’s focus is not on his own personal politics,” Emanuel spokesman Adam Collins said in a statement. “His focus is on taking the action necessary to finally and fully address an issue that has challenged Chicago for decades, and reform the system and culture of policing in Chicago.”

Under Ford’s proposal, two city aldermen would have to sign an affidavit agreeing with a recall petition and organizers must collect more than 88,000 signatures from regis-

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JANUARY 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

only the governor.

“There’s no jurisdiction I know of that have just one guy [open to recall],” Spivak said.

Despite the recall limits in Illinois law, municipalities can adopt their own ordinances. Still, it’s a power that’s been rarely used. Recall efforts are expensive and time-consuming endeavors. The last time one happened in Illinois was in 2010 in Buffalo Grove, a suburb of Chicago.

That’s where voters recalled village trustee Lisa Stone. Jennifer Maltas, Buffalo Grove’s deputy village manager, said it’s believed to be the only recall ever held in the state.

Across the country in 2015, there were at least 434 attempts to recall local and state officeholders, according to Spivak’s research. Of those, only 93 made it to a recall vote. In the history of the U.S. only two U.S. governors have ever been recalled – North Dakota’s Lynn Frazier in 1921, and California’s Gray Davis in 2003.

In Wisconsin, Gov. Scott Walker survived a recall election in 2012, becoming the first governor in U.S. history to do so. The recall came after Walker moved to strip most public employees of their collective bargaining rights.

Heading to Oregon

tered voters in the city. At least 50 signatures must come from each of the 50 wards.

The proposal would pre-empt local law, so it needs approval from two-thirds of each chamber of the Illinois Legislature to pass during the session that starts this month. The

bill would be effective immediately if signed into law, a scenario that can pose legal questions because it would target someone currently in office, said David Melton, executive director of the Illinois Campaign for Political Reform.

Nineteen states and the District

of Columbia allow recalls of state and local officials, according to Joshua Spivak, a recall expert at the Hugh L. Carey Institute for Government Reform at Wagner College in New York City. Illinois is included in that count but is unique in that its constitution has guidelines for the recall of

Looking to move? Perhaps you should head to Oregon, the most popular state to move to in America. According to a report from mover United Van Lines, for at least the third-consecutive year, Oregon saw the highest percentage of inbound moves among all 50 states.

With 69% of its total moves inbound, the Beaver State easily topped runner-up Nevada, which rung up an inbound rate of 59%. Washington came in third at 56%.

Why would anyone move there?

Well, 53% of those who headed to the state found a new job or a transfer within the company, while 20% of

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

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JANUARY 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

nology and creative marketing industry, as well as a growing ‘want’ for outdoor activity and green space,” Michael Stoll, economist, professor and chair of the Department of Public Policy at the University of California, Los Angeles, pointed out. “The aging Boomer population is driving relocation from the Northeast and Midwest to the West and South, as more and more people retire to warmer regions.”

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those who moved wanted to be closer to family.

Meanwhile, New Jersey topped the list of states with the most outbound moves, with a rate of 66%. It’s at least the third-consecutive year New Jersey topped the list. The Gar-

den State was followed by New York (65%) and Illinois (63%).

California had the most overall inbound moves at 13,670. But it also had 13,045 outbound moves. Washington, D.C., had the most population-adjusted inbound moves at 101

per 100,000 residents, followed by Colorado and Oregon.

“This year’s data reflects longer-term trends of people moving to the Pacific West, where cities such as Portland and Seattle are seeing the combination of a boom in the tech-

He’s 95-years-old and is still playing the piano. Sadly, though, he has no one to play with.

Edward Hardy played in a jazz quartet for almost 40 years but is lonely after moving to a residential care home when he was diagnosed with dementia.

In a bid to share his passion for music again, the war veteran posted an advertisement online (with the help of his caretaker) asking for musicians to “jam with” him. The response to his plea was huge – more than 80 people from around the UK reached out to Mr. Hardy. Even more exciting, he heard from three former bandmates – with whom he formed an original jazz band – after a staggering 35 years apart.

The four-piece band are now rehearsing for a reunion show at Mellifont Abbey home next year.

Mr. Hardy, who has loved music since childhood, marveled, “It is amazing so many volunteers have come forward to help me make music and it is marvelous that I have also been reunited with my old band.

“I have missed playing and when I do play now it makes me feel better and young again.”

He set up his first band upon returning from serving in the armed forces in Japan in World War II. Following the appeal, saxophon-

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

ist Jezz Jackson and double bassist Greg Cordezz visited the facility and jammed with Mr. Hardy, who despite his condition, played along without any problems.

Jezz felt privileged to play with Hardy at the home. “Ed was born in the 1920s and has lived through all the major eras of music so this was also a special opportunity to perform with him.”

car park elevator in Tochigi, north of Tokyo.

He Became the Story

He was reporting on a story and then became the story when he blurted out, “I have to go. I have to call 911.”

Adam Sallet ended the broadcast while in middle of reporting on a robbery live on the air when he spotted the suspect, who just hit the bank for the second time. He was standing outside of Sterling State Bank in Rochester, Minnesota, when the robber made his second appearance.

Later in the day, Minnesota State Patrol police said a 36-year-old man from Rochester was pulled over and arrested.

“We always strive to get live breaking news as it happens, but I tell you what – we never thought we’d be a part of the story kind of like this,” Sallet mused.

Thankfully, the suspect didn’t ask him for money.

The Lottery in the Lift A mystery benefactor left about 2,000 lottery tickets in an elevator and asked that flood victims get the proceeds from any winning stub, Japanese police reported.

An elderly woman found the tickets – which would have cost about 600,000 yen ($4,980) to buy – and notes from the anonymous donor stuffed in a paper bag at the city hall

This summer the area was devastated by massive rain-sparked floods, which killed seven people and destroyed thousands of homes.

“Please give the money to people suffering from the rain disaster if any of these tickets win,” one of the notes read. The bag was addressed to Tochigi’s city office and its mayor.

The top prize in this year’s annual New Year’s Eve lottery was around 1.0 billion yen ($8.3 million).

Talk about giving them a lift.

Hear her Cries

She’s crying. She’s wailing. She’s screaming. Why? A new app helps translate babies’ cries for their parents. The Infant Cries Translator was developed at the National Taiwan University Hospital Yunlin and can differentiate between four separate crying sounds by recording the sounds of babies and comparing them against a vast database.

Over a two year period researchers collected around 200,000 crying sounds from approximately 100 newborn babies and uploaded them to an online database. Analysis of the frequency of individual screams among these helped researchers, led

by Chang Chuan-yu and Dr Chen Sida, distinguish subtle differences in acoustics.

The resulting app shows analysis of a baby’s cries on the user’s phone within 15 seconds. Researchers say

the app has an accuracy of 92 percent for infants under two weeks old, helping inform parents when their child is hungry, sleepy, in pain, or has a wet diaper. The analysis becomes less accurate the older the baby is.

“The Infant Cries Translator can differentiate four different statuses of sounds of baby crying, including hunger, the diaper getting wet, sleepy and pain,” said Chuan-yu. “So far, according to the feedback from users, the accuracy of the app we’ve tested can reach 92 percent for babies under two weeks old. As for the babies under one or two months, the accuracy of the app can also reach up to 84 or 85 percent. Even for the four month old baby, the accuracy can reach 77 percent.”

Its creators say there is little point using the app past the age of six months because the baby has become more affected by its environment, but they believe it will be a useful tool for parents, especially those with their first child.

“After downloading this app, we only need to set the birth of date and nationality for the newborn baby,” said Chang. “Once the baby cries, we only need to press the recording button for 10 seconds, and the sound will be uploaded to the Cloud Drive.

After the differentiating process, the analysis result of the sound would be transferred to Mum’s mobile phone.

So Mum can depend on the actual situation to determine whether the analysis result is correct or not, to make a revision for the app.”

New father Guo Young-ming, 41, began using the app on December 21, four days after his baby daughter was born.

“For the new parent like us, we are most afraid of seeing the baby crying and then not knowing what we should do. When we don’t know what we should do, this app can make some simple judgments for us, so we are able to know what our next step is,” he said.

Sometimes, you know, a baby just wants to be held. Is there an app for that?

Eat all that You can Eat in the U.S. Army Uncle Sam wants YOU to eat his MREs. In fact, if you’re willing to eat

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“Meals Ready to Eat” for three straight week for a military study, the Army will pay you $200. But not everyone will qualify to eat these gourmet dinners. Participants must be between 18-62 years of age and without digestive health issues. Perhaps – and we hope this is not the case – because eating the MREs for three weeks straight may just cause digestive issues.

If you’re planning on joining this study, though, you may gain some weight. A full MRE meal contains around 1,250 calories, as they’re designed to sustain soldiers during field missions.

The packaged MREs are precision engineered to deliver calories and nutrition, but they miss out on some of the inedible but necessary compounds natural foods contain. These compounds are vital to what Dr. J. Philip Karl calls “gut health.”

“There’s a lot of interesting and new research looking at gut bacteria, and how those gut bacteria interact with the human body,” Karl told Army Times. “We think we can manipulate the bacteria in a way that helps the bacteria fight foreign pathogens – things that could cause food-borne illness, for example,” Karl said.

“Oftentimes, war fighters are overseas and they eat something off the local economy that can cause [gastrointestinal] distress. Potentially, what we could do by increasing the amount of beneficial gut bacteria is to help prevent some of that.”

Participants in the study will even get an MRE cookbook that features dishes like ”Bunker Hill Burritos” and ”Fort Bliss-ful Pudding Cake.”

As it is a true scientific study, there will be a control group among the 60 participants that will maintain their regular diet.

Hua!

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JANUARY 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Around the

Community Paint Nite for CAHAL All the Right Elements for a Wonderful Evening

A

n overflow crowd and a great instructor coming together for a singular community cause equals Paint Nite for CAHAL. On Sunday night, January 3, at TAG, they were off to a flying start. The participants were given the opportunity to create their own masterpieces in acrylic paint on canvas. Naomi Singer presented the picture and gave the talented amateurs direction. The ladies did the rest on their own. It was a relaxing evening for old and new friends channeling their creative abilities and having the ultimate ladies’ night out.

CAHAL, the only local yeshiva-based and sponsored community program for children with learning challenges, now in its 24th year, provided the underlying message. Mrs. Elisheva Trachtenberg told the audience about her experiences as a CAHAL parent, and the huge difference its dedicated administration and teachers have made in her child’s life. She talked about the unique learning challenges her daughter began with upon entering CAHAL, and how she has progressed and integrated so well as a CAHAL stu-

dent at Bais Yaakov Ateres Miriam, including attending the mainstream math class along with all the daily non-academic mainstream activities.

The participants were shown a short video presentation about CAHAL, its founders, administration, staff and children in action. They heard how CAHAL provides smaller, more individualized classes in the local yeshivas catering to children’s learning

styles, where all the students attend mainstream activities daily, including lunch, recess, specials, assemblies, trips and more. When ready, children attend academic classes as well, with support from CAHAL to ensure success. The experienced and caring CAHAL teachers make it all happen.

The event was coordinated from start to finish by Mrs. Shira Cohen, CAHAL’s special events coordinator and administrative liaison. Mrs. Cohen initiated and followed through on every phase of this overwhelmingly successful event. Special kudos go to the event committee, which included Adi Aryeh, Elisheva Biegeleisen, Ricki Genuth, Shir Hochman, Rivky Kaplan, Adina Klein, Rochel Lapidus, Darah Mandelbaum, Estie Mendlowitz, Shaindy Pollack, Devorah Salzman, Bracha Schoenblum, Mimi Schreiber, Shani Seif, Deena Soroka, Sharona Stone, Rivky Teitelbaum, Elisheva Trachtenberg, Deena Weinstein and Aliza Wielgus, who brought in the crowd and helped inform others about the mission and success of CAHAL. Dr. Suri Weinreb, CAHAL’s staff psychologist, did an outstanding job as emcee for the

evening. CAHAL thanks all those who attended and made this event such a fabulous success. Generous donors provided great raffle prizes.

Special thanks to our generous sponsors, Fame, Tip Toe Boutique, HK Jewels and Ruti Horn, for sponsoring raffle prizes.

As is always the case, all net proceeds went directly to benefit the children who attend CAHAL. Because CAHAL is a not for profit organization which has never turned away a family in need, successful events like Paint Nite, the annual concert, the upcoming men’s Superbowl 50 party, and community appeals are vital to CAHAL’s ability to educate the children of our community.

For more information about the CAHAL program or donating to this great community organization, call (516) 295-3666. Registration is now open for September 2016, and CAHAL is currently interviewing applicants. Follow CAHAL Program on Facebook and Instagram for upcoming events and other information.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

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Around the Community

Bat Mitzvah Workshop at HAFTR Middle School

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gala bat mitzvah workshop event was held for 6th grade girls and their moms at HAFTR Middle School.

Mothers and daughters gathered for an evening of great fun, delicious food, challah baking, simcha dancing and Torah learning about what it means to be a Jewish woman and role model. Thank you to the PTA presidium of Mrs. Deborah Levine and Mrs. Gail Lipton for supporting the co-curricular activ-

ities of the school. A special hakarat hatov goes to the committee for the evening’s event; Mrs. Tanya Green, Dr. Jessica Kirschner and Mrs. Ariella Levy, assisted by Mrs. Yelena Gadayeva, Mrs. Michelle Gottlieb and Mrs. Sheila Wiener. The girls and moms were split into three groups for a “round robin” of sessions: The beauty of Challah Baking led by Rebbetzin Sori Teitelbaum; Chavruta Time delving into the role of the Jew-

ish woman which was taught by Mrs. Nechama Landau; and simcha dancing which was guided by Robin to the accompaniment of Shelly Lang and Friends. Thank you to Toby Schwartz, graphic designer, for donating the gift bags, and to the Green and Kirschner families for sponsoring the purchase of the leather bound Artscroll siddurim. Thanks also to the Siri family for their generosity. Thank you to Morah Yehudeet Gore for arranging a

“meaningful name” project where the girls prepared a written description of the meaning and origin of their Hebrew names. We also thank our eighth graders Mikayla Schein, Suzanna Horowitz and Leah Lubin for speaking about their chessed projects to help inspire our sixth graders to incorporate this important component of becoming a bat mitzvah.

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JANUARY 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

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JANUARY 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

The senior class of Mesivta Ateres Yaakov held their annual class Melava Malka this past Motzei Shabbos at the home of Rabbi Tsvi Greenfield. In addition to the live music, divrei Torah and a lavish seudah, the talmidim were zocheh to a visit and divrei bracha from the Lakewood Rosh HaYeshiva, HaRav Yeruchum Olshin, shlit”a.

The Mesivta thanks parents Mr. and Mrs. Menachem Lieber for arranging the visit.

Anthony J. Santino, longtime Town of Hempstead Councilman representing the Five Towns, was sworn in during this past Tuesday’s induction ceremony at Hempstead Town Hall, becoming Hempstead Town’s first new Supervisor in over 12 years. Administering Supervisor Santino’s oath of office was formerTown of Hempstead Presiding Supervisor Joseph N. Mondello. Sitting to the left of Supervisor Santino are former-Town Supervisors Greg Peterson and Richard Guardino, former-U.S. Senator Alphonse D’Amato, and Hempstead Town Receiver of Taxes Donald X. Clavin.

The letter L brought the Kindergarten cLass of ShuLamith SchooL for GirLs on a trip to the Levi Yitzchak Library. The students had a fun time interacting with objects beginning with the letter L and enjoyed a story time with the book Labels for Laibel. They then got to experience being young writers by publishing their very own L book for their class library!

Mothers and Daughters Learn, Braid, and Celebrate Together

M

onths of preparation and anticipation culminated on Wednesday evening, December 30, as the sixth grade students of Shulamith School for Girls were joined by their mothers and fac-

ulty members for a very special evening. The event was a gala bat mitzvah celebration. The evening began with a meaningful, uplifting cantata, performed completely in Ivrit and

interspersed with heartfelt songs, specifically celebrating the role of Jewish women. A delicious seudat bat mitzvah, catered by Central Perk, was served in our multi-purpose room which was decorated regally for the occasion in shades of purple, gold, and silver. Mothers and daughters then had the opportunity to participate in three different workshops: they studied Torah together with Morah Chana Schwartz, learned about the mitzvah of challah and braided challot with Morah Shoshana Fischman, and danced joyously in the Shulamith gym with Mrs. Sima Gefen. Thanks to Morah Chani Pollak , Navi teacher and our music teacher, Morah Tali Spector, for preparing the girls for their cantata, and to Morah Chana Schwartz, Director of Student Activities, for coordinating every aspect of the event.

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The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

Around the Community

Remembering the Rambam

L

ast Friday marked the yahtrzeit of the Rambam who died 795 years ago on the 20th of Teves at the age of 69. At Rambam Mesivta a special assembly was held to commemorate the life and legacy of the Rambam. Rabbi Zev Meir Friedman spoke to the talmidim and explained that while it is virtually impossible to truly understand the greatness of the Rambam we can get “glimpses” of who he was and what he did through his writings.

The Rambam wrote many sefarim, among them the Perush Mishnayos, the Yad haChazakah, The Moreh Nevuchim, The Shemoneh Perakim and many others. Unfortunately some of his writings have been lost to history but to state that he was “prolific” would be an understatement. “These sefarim spanned the breadth of halacha and hashkafa,” shared Rabbi Friedman, who cited some examples of each to convey what we can glean of the Rambam’s approach.

“We are all familiar with the idea of eating shmurah matzah on Pesach. A careful analysis of the Ram-

bam leads us to the conclusion that there are two types of shmurah – one watched from the time of harvest – the other which is infused with the intent that it is made specifically for the purpose of the mitzvah of matzah.

Instead of writing this openly, the Rambam expressed it cryptically in a seeming contradiction, forcing us to delve into his teachings, and draw out conclusions using proper methodology,” said Rabbi Friedman.

On the topic of revenge, Rabbi Friedman explored, “When the Rambam speaks about the prohibition of taking revenge, he teaches us that it is wrong to do so because it reflects a distorted value system. We are overestimating and attributing great value to the physical world which is in reality mundane.”

He further stated that the Rambam says that it is best for a Torah scholar to be self-sufficient and not rely on the beneficence of the community. The Rambam teaches us in that in every aviera ben adam lechavero, violation of interpersonal relationships, is wrong because the harm that

was done to others and is wrong and because about what it shows about the violator’s character.”

The Rambam lived in times where Jewish survival faced many challenges. There were both physical and spiritual threats to Jews worldwide.

He received letters from far-flung communities seeking his advice, guidance, and halachic rulings. “He

truly had the weight of world Jewry on her shoulders,” expressed Rabbi Friedman, who summed things up by saying, “To be able to accomplish so much, under such difficult conditions appears to be super-human and we are privileged to have named the Mesivta after him. Wehope that in some small way we can perpetuate his ideals and carry on his legacy.”

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Madraigos Offers Social Media Workshops at HANC Addressing Safety and Addiction

I

n conjunction with Madraigos’ School Based Services and HANC’s (Hebrew Academy of Nasau County) participation in November’s Cyber Awareness Month, Mrs. Chanie Delman, LCSW, Clinical Director at Madraigos, along with Madraigos social work interns Tobi Goldfeder and Danielle Koppel, presented a workshop on Social Media/ Internet Safety at HANC’s middle school. The student body was very receptive to the educational presentation, resulting in lively discussion among the students and feedback shared after the program. The students appreciated the informative and thought-provoking experience as demonstrated by the many questions posed to Madraigos staff.

A focus of the workshop was an open discussion related to the pros and cons of social media. The discussion gave students the opportunity to express how important and beneficial social media is to them.

At the same time the students were shown the value of taking time to be “disconnected,” putting their phones in designated “off” areas, and using the “downtime” to participate in and develop traditional social interaction skills with family and friends.

In addition to being educated about possible risks of being overly

connected, Madraigos professionals took the valuable opportunity to address the realities and importance of being cyber-safe. Students were informed about the potential risks posed by cyber-criminals and predators perusing popular social networking sites. Many students were surprised to learn of the various statistics and privacy policies of social networking sites. Specific guidance to implement specific safety measures while engaging in social media and the internet were discussed. The significance of taking time to consider the impact of sharing information before hitting the “SEND” button was stressed.

Several examples of the information shared with students: -IF YOU DON’T KNOW THE PERSON...DON’T: Share personal information

Meet up in person Send pictures -BEFORE YOU POST - ASK YOURSELF? Is this is good picture?

Would my friend be okay with me posting this?

Could it get a person into trouble now/later?

Is it going to cause drama?

Am I aware that anyone can see this post/picture now/later? (Principal, grandma, friend, parent) Madraigos’ goal is that students use their newly acquired information and skills to face the challenge of cyber addiction – for themselves, their families, and their community. Most importantly, students need to develop greater vigilance in being cautious while online.

Madraigos thanks HANC for inviting them to conduct this workshop

to provide students with the tools they desperately need. Madraigos looks forward to more opportunities like this in our local schools.

If you would like your school to arrange a Madraigos workshop on cyber-addiction/safety, please contact Chanie Delman, LCSW, Clinical Director at cdelman@madraigos.org or 516-371-3250 x 2.

Madraigos, a 501c-3 not-forprofit organization, offers a wide array of innovative services and programs geared towards helping teens and young adults overcome life’s everyday challenges one step at a time. Our goal is to provide all of our members with the necessary tools and skills to empower them to live a healthy lifestyle and become the leaders of tomorrow.

Finding Your Path: SKA’s Production 2016

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t’s hard to believe that last year’s Production could be surpassed but it was! At the evening performance on motzei Shabbat, January 2, and two performances on Sunday, January 3, the Stella K. Abraham High School for Girls’ Production cast and crew channeled all their efforts since the school year began to make this year’s Production one of the most memorable ones ever!

The school auditorium was filled with moms, sisters, aunts, grandmothers, teachers, friends, alumna and eighth grade applicants, all who watched this amazing display of talent. Under the leadership of Mrs. Terri Wagner, SKA’s “First Lady of SKA Theatre,” Mrs. Dani Sudwertz, our new Dance Coordinator, and Mrs. Suzy Libin, our creative Art Director, almost 200 students participated in

this year’s Production – “Finding Your Path: Know From Where You Came and Where You’re Going.”

What is so unique about SKA’s Production? In addition to the beau-

tiful harmonies, moving and comical dramas, superbly choreographed dances and an inspiring sign language presentation that the audiences see, it’s what goes on behind the scenes

that makes the school’s Production such as inspiring experience for SKA students. Every girl who participated, in any way, shone.

Mrs. Helen Spirn, Head of School, so fittingly expressed this sentiment as she observed the performances: “I watched our students’ endless dedication, their kindness toward one another and their joy in expressing their talents on our stage. I saw our Senior Heads serve as leaders as they collaborated with other Heads and mentored our younger students so beautifully and with sensitivity. We are all so incredibly proud of our girls’ talents and their commitment to making this year’s Production a personal growth experience for our cast members and all those who experience the show!”

SKA’s Production 2016 was indeed a success – on so many levels!

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Early Intervention Services For children birth - 3 years with special needs

Services Provided

The HANC six graders were proud to receive a certificate for completing an hour of code in Mrs. Natter’s computer class. The students can’t wait to put their coding knowledge to good use when they start to program our new robots, Dot & Dash!

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This Early Intervention Program (EIP) is a public program for children under the age of three who are either suspected of having or at risk for developmental delays or disabilities. EIP is funded by NYS and NYC. All EIP services are provided at no cost to parents. Health insurance may be used for approved services. A child’s eligibility for the program can be determined only by state-approved evaluators under contract, and all services must be authorized by the NYC Early Intervention Program.

For more information about CHALLENGE: T. 718.851.3300 W. challenge-ei.com

Baking Challah and Breaking Records

By Tammy Mark

W

hat can unite people as a culture or a community more than food? And what can get kids of all ages together like an afterschool activity with 700 new friends? What do you get when you combine those two elements into one huge event? Mega amounts of record breaking unity and fun. On Tuesday, January 12, New York City will host the World’s Largest Mega Challah Bake for Kids. With over 700 children, 24 groups and 57 volunteers registered so far, organizers are hoping to break records by breaking bread – and inviting the Guinness people to document it.

Inspired by the success of the community challah bakes that have sprouted worldwide, the Kids Challah Bake was created by a group of Jewish moms from various backgrounds with one common goal: unity through challah. The project is not affiliated with any one synagogue, school or organization and is for all Jewish children to come together for a fun afternoon of unity, pride, and excitement.

On Tuesday afternoon, kids ages 5-14 will participate in a collaborative program of making and braiding challah dough. Entertainment will be provided, with an interactive gameshow taking place while the dough rises. Each child will bring home 1-2

braided loaves of challah in a pan with an option of two toppings and clear baking instructions attached.

Ingredients and supplies are included, along with snacks (including gluten free items) as well as bottled water. All food products are strictly kosher.

Being held at the New York Hilton in Midtown Manhattan, the event is open to children in grades K-8th in the greater New York area, with many shuls and schools and organizations supporting and participating. Organizers are working together with the hotel and the CSS to ensure a safe and secure event.

The event is growing daily and has attracted several corporate sponsors like Prime Hospitality Group, Ahava Dead Sea Minerals and several other brands from Paskez to Hellman’s and Sabra. The surrounding buzz has even brought out Jewish and non-Jewish celebrities to profess their love of the traditional Jewish bread.

“This one will be for the record books,” anticipates organizer Bryce Gruber Hermon. “We’re all part of the same colorful Jewish family and challah is the easiest way to get everyone noshing at the same table.”

For more information or to register, visit kidschallahbake.com or email info@kidschallahbake.com.

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MAY Commemorates Shloshim of Rabbi Elchanan Zomber, a”h

L

ast Thursday, Mesivta Ateres Yaakov commemorated the shloshim of Rabbi Elchanan Zomber, a”h, a Mesivta alumnus and math teacher at the Mesivta. Rabbi Zomber’s untimely petira a little over a month ago was a tremendous shock to the entire MAY family and has left an enormous gap in the lives of those who knew him.

The program began with a siyum on two sedarim of Mishnayos, Seder Moed and Seder Nashim, that the talmidim of the Mesivta had communally learned over the past few weeks. Taking a few minutes after Shacharis each morning, the talmidim learned through these sedarim as a z’chus for Rabbi Zomber’s neshama.

Rabbi Mordechai Yaffe, Menahel, emceed the program, first introducing Senior Shmuel Aidelson, a student of Rabbi Zomber’s. Shmuel spoke of the relationship he and his fellow students had with Rabbi Zomber and how warm and inviting Rabbi Zomber was to helping his students, even on his own time. He spoke of the Gemara Rabbi Zomber always had open on his shtender when students were working on their independent class work and the smile that welcomed them every day to class.

Rabbi Sam Rudansky, General

Studies Principal, who intimately knew Rabbi Zomber and his family for over 20 years, presented next.

Rabbi Rudansky described the breadth of knowledge that this young man had. From Torah to math, current events to sports statistics, he was a wellspring of information. He was a brilliant individual, able to teach the most complex math subjects, yet personable and pleasant, able to present those subjects at the level of his students.

Rabbi Yaffe then addressed the talmidim and inspired them to make a change in their lives in the z’chus

of Rabbi Zomber, whether it be in the area of bein adam l’makom or bein adam l’chaveiro, that each time they do something to think and have in mind that it is because of Rabbi Zomber that they are am doing this.

Rabbi Zomber’s father, Mr. Sam Zomber, thanked the talmidim and the hanhalas hayeshiva for everything they had done and asked the boys to follow in his son’s footsteps as a z’chus for him.

May his neshama have an aliya and may he be a meilitz yosher for his family and the entire Meisvta.

Tragedy Hits Shuvu Family – Children Miraculously Saved

S

ometimes, even as we are overwhelmed with grief over a terrible tragedy, we can still find inspiration and consolation.

Gavriel and Tehilla are students in Shuvu’s school in Lod; he is an 8th grader, she is in 4th grade. They’ve each been in the school since 1st grade, and although their family was completely secular, the youngsters have made great strides in shemiras Torah and mitzvos.

Gavriel and Tehilla’s parents divorced years ago and the father had full custody of the children; their biological mother is not at all part of their lives. The parents eventually remarried, and his new wife loved Gavriel and Tehilla dearly, raising them as her own children. Five years ago, the family grew, as Gavriel and Tehilla’s father and stepmother had a daughter together.

Tragically, this past Shabbos, their parents and their 5 year old daughter were in their car when they were involved in a head-on collision with another vehicle. The parents were killed instantly, and their young daughter died of her injuries sever-

al hours later. Gavriel and Tehilla, however, refused to go in the car for that fateful trip.

For the past while, Shuvu Lod has been focusing on promoting shemiras Shabbos through special campaigns and projects, and Gavriel and Tehilla

had taken upon themselves to never again set foot in a car on Shabbos.

Although they horrifically lost their father, stepmother, and sister, their own lives were spared through their determination to observe Shabbos.

Of course, Shuvu has brought in professionals to work with Gavriel and Tehilla as well as their classmates. They are also working to ensure that the children will be cared for and raised in an appropriate, loving environment.

Even as we mourn this tragedy we cannot help but be stirred by the result of the resolve of two young children to observe Shabbos.

May Hashem comfort these young heroes b’soch sh’ar aveilei Tzion v’Yerushalayim, and may they know no more tzaar.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

Around the Community

On December 8, the Margaret Tietz Center hosted a Chanukah celebration for seniors of the Young Israel of Queens Valley. A wonderful luncheon meal was prepared by our chef, Yosef Mizrahi, for our guests. Everyone enjoyed the holiday entertainment, Over 70 people were in attendance and many danced to the music and enjoyed the festivities.

Learn & Live

A

t this week’s Learn & Live Program, R’ Dovid Frischman presented part 1 of borer (separating). Can you separate candies, cutlery and Sunkist candies from your soup? These were just some of the items that were separated at L&L. R’ Frischman first went through the three conditions in order to separate on Shabbos, and he taught the boys in silent motion how to do all three. The race was on as A. Kranzler and M. Gibber raced to see who could separate the cutlery and set the table first. The winner was M. Gibber (however, being that everyone at L&L is a winner they both got the cry baby winning prize). Some more boys were called up as R’ Frischman told the boys about the problem of “crybabies” being found in bags of

sugar. Some boys got the chance to separate the sugar to remove the “crybabies.” A Feldhamer doesn’t like crybabies in his soup so he removed some using a perforated spoon, luckily it wasn’t Shabbos. Some boys got to choose their favorite colored candy and S. Horowitz got to remove the Sunkist from the serving bowl of soup. There were 2 more races – the peeling orange race and the peeling carrots race (yes, mothers, the boys knew how to peel carrots). All winners and second place winners received a prize. The presentation ended with a full motion of the three permitted ways of borer: mi’ad, b’yad and good from bad!

For more information about the Learn & Live Program, email learnandlivefr@gmail.com.

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Around the Community

Run, Hide, Fight: A Safety Event for the Community

S

ecurity and safety are relevant and prevalent topics and issues that are being addressed by our yeshivas, shuls and community.

In today’s current climate we must all be vigilant to ensure the safety of our children, friends and family.

As such, Kehillas Bais Yehuda Tzvi, Rabbi Yaakov Feitman’s shul, will be hosting an important community-wide event on Sunday, January 10 at 9:45AM (coffee and Danish will be served). We will have a knowledgeable and experienced speaker (Chris Zaberto, who is the COO of the Ten91 Group and a retired NYPD Detective, Emergency Service Unit) to address us as to how to be properly prepared with respect to the foregoing issues.

The shul is located at 395 Oakland Avenue in Cedarhurst, NY. Thank you to Cross River Bank for sponsoring this important event.

Rabbi Hulkower’s sixth grade boys at HAFTR began learning Gemara this week. After completing a Mishna curriculum that was started in fifth grade, the boys feel ready and excited to begin learning Gemara. To mark this special milestone in a Yeshiva boy’s life, the students were addressed by Rabbi Moshe Teitelbaum of the Young Israel of Lawrence/Cedarhurst. The students received a bracha to learn well and in turn they made brachot over the delicious breakfast they received. What a sweet way to begin to learn Torah on a higher level.

Pictured with the boys is Rabbi Teitelbaum, Rabbi Kupchik, and Rabbi Hulkower.

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Yeshiva of South Shore had the special privilege last week to welcome Harav Malkiel Kotler shlit”a, Rosh Yeshiva of Beth Medrash Govoha in Lakewood. Harav Kotler commented on the unusual ruach and simcha our boys displayed, as he received a warm kabbalas ponim from talmidim eagerly waiting to greet him upon his arrival to visit with Harav Binyomin Kamenetzky shlit”a. The Mechina boys in grades 6-8 dressed in white shirts for the occasion, and were honored with divrei bracha from Harav Kotler, emphasizing the joy of learning Torah and remarking on the beautiful kavod HaTorah and kiddush Hashem our boys demonstrated!

Jewish Community Partners to Keep the Poor Warm

A

fter last year’s harsh winter, Metropolitan Council on Jewish Poverty, in partnership with the New York Board of Rabbis, is embarking on a coat drive to mitigate the impact of the cold weather. With more than 500,000 poor and near-poor people living in Jewish households in New York City, there are tens of thousands of New Yorkers unable to afford a new winter coat.

“We are very excited to work with Rabbi Potasnik and the New York Board of Rabbis to organize a collaborative project to keep New Yorkers warm,” said Alan Schoor, CEO of

Met Council. “With limited income, many of our clients must choose between investing in new winter coats so that their children can stay warm or buying nutritious food to keep them healthy, seniors must decide between purchasing dentures so that they can properly chew or paying rent to remain in their home.

Every day, in every neighborhood, there are Jewish families struggling with these difficult choices and many more.”

“We fulfill a beautiful mitzvah when we value the vulnerable in our community,” said Rabbi Joseph Potasnik, Executive Vice President

of the New York Board of Rabbis.

“Giving a coat may seem like a small gesture, but it is a meaningful token to the person who needs a warm welcome during a challenging time of life. We are privileged to partner with Met Council in providing strength and support to those who turn to us.”

From Thanksgiving through January 25, 2015, synagogues across the area will act as collection sites.

Participating congregations will organize the onsite collection and sort through usable coats. To create a more dignified client experience for our clients, each coat will be dry

cleaned before distribution to ensure each client is receiving a like-new coat.

Friday Night Tapas See what Naomi Nachman serves on page 112

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

Around the Community

Rav Yeruchem Olshin shlit”a of Beth Medrash Govoha speaking with Rav Yochanan Cohen shlit”a at a Melava Malka in the Five Towns this past Shabbos

G R W EA T E SH W IP ED W DI O NG RL DW GI F ID T! E!

The Shmuz in Chicago

“M

otivating and inspiring,” “Real life lessons to walk away with,” “It’s always refreshing to hear Rabbi Shafier.” These are just a few comments about Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier of the Shmuz.

On December 25, Parshas Vayechi, Rabbi Shafier joined the Yisraelink Shabbaton in the Doubletree Hilton hotel in Chicago, IL, which attracted over 300 English- and Hebrew-speaking participants.

“The weekend was very successful,” says Rabbi Shimon Zehnwirth, who organized the event. “Rabbi Shafier gave six presentations – four sessions to the English track, the welcoming address in shul at the start of the Shabbaton and a special session for girls who volunteered to work at the weekend.” Both the Hebrew and English versions of Rabbi Shafier’s popular book “Stop Surviving, Start Living”

were distributed to all the guests.

While in Chicago, Rabbi Shafier spoke in the Agudah of West Rogers Park for Simchalink, a shidduch organization based in Chicago that works with people throughout the U.S., Canada, Europe and Israel.

There were over 150 participants who gained tremendously from Rabbi Shafier’s lecture entitled, “Common Mistakes in the Dating Game” based off of his book “Finding and Keeping your Soulmate.”

The Shmuz is a Torah lecture that offers a worldview on major life issues ranging from working on our middos to learning to be a better spouse, from understanding the meaning of our davening to what our purpose is in this world. Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier has been delivering these lectures across America and beyond for over a decade.

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Madraigos Opens Communication at HAFTR on Peer Pressure and Substance Abuse

P

eer pressure. Just one of the many critical topics addressed by Mrs. Chanie Delman, LCSW, Clinical Director of Madraigos, with HAFTR’s eleventh grade this week. The workshop is a central focus of Madraigos’ School Based Services where local school partnerships are formed and continuous efforts toward substance abuse prevention make an impact on our community.

Highlights of the workshop included defining substance abuse, addiction, and gateway drugs as well as addressing common myths pertaining to usage. The presentation included statistics from current studies on alcohol, marijuana, and prescription drugs and how the aforementioned substances affect the brain and the rest of the body. By educating students about the many forms of substance abuse and its prevalence, they gained a better un-

derstanding of the dangers and the importance to refrain. The students are now better prepared to recognize a potentially risky situation.

Besides learning about the facts of substance abuse, Mrs. Delman actively engaged the students in conversation about the importance of making wise choices when faced with peer pressure. Chanie Delman gave several real-life examples of peerto-peer social situations and what smart reactions and choices would look like. The examples varied from situations when one is with friends on the weekends, winter break, and summer camp.

It was stressed that if and when the need arises, students should be proactive in getting appropriate support. Mrs. Delman encouraged the group not to be scared to address these topics as if they are “taboo.”

Instead, students were empowered to confide in a trusted adult and present the situation. Additionally, students were advised in how to respond when one sees a friend engaging in unhealthy behavior and making poor choices. The students became aware of the importance of their role and understood their responsibility.

The students especially appreciated the discussion related to making responsible choices when they go away to college or participate in seminary programs in Israel. These coming stages offer greater independence but pose unique challenges as teens are separated from their support systems at home and school.

Teens and young adults were urged to keep these life-saving messages fresh in their minds.

The workshop ended with a short video interviewing teen substance users and how the substance negatively impacted their life. The students appreciated hearing real life accounts of how peer pressure can lead to experimentation with drugs and alcohol and how it can ultimately ruin one’s life. Teens completed a quick survey for Madraigos to help them better understand the face of substance use within our community. While substance use/abuse may not be something they struggle with on a day-to- day basis, the students left feeling stronger with their newly acquired knowledge and ready to face the myriad of issues surrounding substance use and peer pressure.

Madraigos thanks HAFTR for inviting them to conduct this workshop to give students the tools they desperately need. Madraigos looks forward to continuing to work with the community to provide education, support, and guidance in our local schools. If you would like your school to arrange a Madraigos workshop on peer pressure and substance abuse, please contact Chanie Delman, LCSW, Clinical Director of Madraigos, at cdelman@madraigos.org or 516-371-3250 x 2.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

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On December 10, the Margaret Tietz Center sponsored a Chanukah celebration for seniors of the Young Israel of Forest Hills. Platters of fruit and vegetables were prepared by our chef, Yosef Mizrahi, for the senior center members. Everyone enjoyed the holiday entertainment. Over 90 people were in attendance and many sang and danced to the music and enjoyed the festivities.

Five Towns Marriage Initiative Seeing the Good in Others

R

’ Aryeh Levine tells over an interesting thought about interpersonal relationships.

He says there are two mitzvos that seem to overlap. One is the mitzvah of rebuking others and one is the mitzvah of judging others favorably.

R’ Aryeh says that really ultimately rebuke should be used inwardly to perfect oneself and correct one’s own misdemeanors. Giving the benefit of the doubt should be used when dealing with other people and a person should constantly be seeking out the merits of others. Nowadays though, people tend to search for their own merits, and then look to rebuke only others.

When it comes to our own spouse we need to be very careful not to fall into this trap. Our job is always to correct ourselves first. When we search out the good in our spouse and look to see their positive qualities our marriage only stands to gain.

Oftentimes we project our faults onto others. When we see someone else do something that we also do wrong we will be very quick to notice it and point it out. For ourselves we have all the excuses and for others we have all the rebuke.

It has been said that in order to judge something, anything, we need to have a deep connection to the matter being judged and be very

aware of it, often ourselves having that very quality or wrong that is so clear to us in others, but that we somehow cannot manage to work on within ourselves. We see this in friends, in children and in our spouses, yet somehow the very last person we ever seem to turn our attention to, or want to fix for the very same problems we suffer greatly from, is ourselves.

Let’s work to improve ourselves first and others will follow our positive example. Setting a tone of self-improvement and of noticing the positive qualities of others will create an atmosphere in the home that will carry over to all who live there, creating a wonderful environment of wholesomeness and goodness that will lift up our families, our spouse and ultimately ourselves, as well.

Five Towns Marriage Initiative provides educational programs, workshops and referrals to top marriage therapists. FTMI will help offset counseling costs when necessary and also runs an anonymous shalom bayis hotline for the entire community Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday evenings, 9:30-11p.m. For the hotline or more information, call 516-430-5280 or email dsgarry@ msn.com.

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celeBratinG the coMPletion oF our caMPuS

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Mo zoei Shabbos Parshas Mishpa im February 6, 2016 . 27 Shva 5776 At the Yeshiva Campus 802 Hicksville Road Far Rockaway, New York 11691

Yeshiva of Far Rockaway 802 Hicksville Road Far Rockaway, NY 11691 P: (718) 327-7600 F: (718) 327-1430 E: dinner@yofr.org W: www.yofr.org

The love from the Rebbeim to all of the ‫ תלמידים‬is reciprocal.

It is with the Yeshiva’s boundless dedication that the Yeshiva has paved a path for its ‫ תלמידים‬to develop into ‫ מרביצי תורה‬and ‫בעלי‬ ‫ בתים‬with the right ‫דרך החיים‬.

The ‫ אהבת התורה‬which has become a part of me, and which I try to channel to my chavrusos and whenever I give a shiur, is a direct result of my years of learning in the Yeshiva of Far Rockaway.

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‫י בה דרך‬ ‫ששי מרן רבי אברהם יפה’ןאזיצ’’תן‬ ’’‫ע‬ ‫ל‬ Yeshiva of Far Rockaway

Yaakov & Ilana Melohn campus in memory of Reb Yosef Melohn z’’l

“

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Project Inspire Goes on the Road to San Diego

L-R: Rabbi Yaakov Giniger, Rabbi Yehuda Zachter, and Rabbi Pinny Roth inspiring the San Diego community

O

n Shabbos Parshas Vayigash, December 18th-20th, Project Inspire travelled to San Diego, CA, for a Shabbos of Inspiration.

This was part of the Project Inspire on the Road initiative: an exciting opportunity for Project Inspire activists from mainstream cities to spend a Shabbos in a smaller, Jewish outreach community. There, the couples had an opportunity to give chizuk, gain inspiration from their own efforts, and make new relationships with individuals looking to grow.

The trip included many Project Inspire activists from across the country, including Mrs. Tzippy Reifer from Boro Park, Ephraim Vashovsky and Reuvain Handelsman from Flatbush, Rabbi Danny Wolfe from Denver, Rabbi Yehuda and Mindy Zachter from Long Island, and Michael Eisenberg and Michael Kopple from Los Angeles. “This was a great way for them to idea share, partner, and bring the Project Inspire model to another community,” said Rabbi Yaakov Giniger, Director of Programming at Project Inspire. “It helped them become more aware of greater reality of what Judaism and communities look like around the United States.”

The weekend was non-stop backto-back chizuk. There are 100,000 Jews in San Diego but more than 98% of them are unaffiliated. The community is a mix of established families that have been there for years with young couples that are just starting to move in.

On erev Shabbos, the activists got an opportunity to speak to students at Soille San Diego Hebrew Day School where there are over 300 students, 7080% which are unaffiliated. They also

visited and spoke at Sky High Southern California Yeshiva High School and the Torah High School for Girls.

Afterwards, they toured the JCC of San Diego which boasts being open 7 days a week, complete with a non-kosher restaurant. “There was a lot of Jews but not a lot of Judaism,” said Giniger.

“It was a strong wake-up call of where the Jewish community is at.”

The goal of the Shabbaton was to inspire the San Diego community but it also uplifted the activists themselves. “It was more inspiring for us than it was for them,” remarked Yehuda and Mindy Zachter. “Everyone was really warm and we felt embraced by the community from the minute we got there.”

The couples were paired with different families in the community on Friday night, followed by a community-wide oneg. On Shabbos morning, there was a Shabbos lunch with over 100 people in attendance. For Motzei Shabbos, the community was treated to a rare delicacy: kosher pizza, something unheard of in San Diego. After a beautiful musical havdalah, everyone enjoyed watching highlights from Project Inspire’s entertaining film series.

San Diego is now organizing follow-up with Rabbi Chaim Bogopulsy and Rabbi Pinny Roth, the Rav and assistant rabbi at the Beth Jacob shul of San Diego, potential leaders who are working to implement a Project Inspire model in their community. To be inspired yourself and see what else is going on at Project Inspire, come to the 7th Annual Project Inspire Convention. Register today at projectinspire.com/convention.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

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Around the Community

A Gesher First – The First Grade Siddur Play

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ast Friday was a milestone day at the Gesher Early Childhood Center. Close to a hundred relatives and friends joined in celebrating a momentous occasion. The special event was the first grade Siddur Play. It was not simply the excitement of receiving their siddurim, but the celebration of the children’s accomplishments that made the day special.

The morahs and the children have been on a mission for the last several months. Their task was to master the letters and sounds of the aleph beis, achieve fluency in the application of the nekudos, and ultimately to become comfortable reading the blended word. They set their sights on the upcoming siddur play in order to chart their course. And they did an amazing job!

With the enthusiasm built up they prepared numerous songs and motions as well. The presentation was beautiful and the many guests were amazed by the tremendous progress

made in just a few short months.

Morah Elisheva Rabinowitz describes the unique approach that Gesher uses to reach its elevated goals. “What I love about teaching here is the opportunity to take the standard curriculum and present it to my students in a multi-sensory way to make it fun and meaningful. The environment in Gesher is positive, upbeat and designed to help each child taste success.”

The milestone of the Siddur play was not only in regards to the children. This is the opening year in which Gesher has had a first grade.

After three years of only servicing preschool-aged children, the decision was made to expand the model to include first grade as well.

“There was great demand on us to apply the approach that we were using in the preschool setting to the ‘Desk and Chair’ setting of first grade.

With Hashem’s help it has been a great success,” says the Director, Mrs. Chava Bodner. “The teachers, togeth-

er with the administrative personnel, have worked tirelessly to bring out the children’s potential.”

One example is the tefilla initiative that was implemented by the Director of Student Services, Mrs. Dahlia Weiss, in preparation for receiving the siddurim. Always with an eye out for interdisciplinary methods of educating, Mrs. Weiss applied a program that was being used in her daughter’s seminary to the Gesher first grade.

The program is called “Wow, Please, and Thank You.” The children spent a month on each segment. They were encouraged to recognize and express different situations that related to these three aspects of tefilla.

The ‘wow’ focused on experiences that helped them identify that there are things that people want that are not easily attained. Attention was given for ‘Please’ on incidents that help people to feel comfortable asking. And ‘Thank You’ was the discovery that we are ready to communicate feelings of gratitude.

The many different projects and fun activities made for a wonderful preparation as the children, with their new siddurim, have now taken their personal tefilla to the next level.

The project was so successful that the staff decided to continue employing it throughout the year. It is an indication of the exemplary teamwork and communication within the faculty and to the hard work of the classroom morahs to effectively implement the initiative.

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JANUARY 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

ADVERTORIAL

New American-Style, Frum Community Underway Minutes from Jerusalem

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s more and more Americans are relocating to Eretz Yisrael, either permanently or partially, the need for services and communities to accommodate American culture and lifestyle booms. Many community leaders, developers and entrepreneurs are catering to these distinct needs by crafting entire new neighborhoods built according to a higher standard of construction and with communal infrastructure in place to accommodate to the “chutznik” mentality.

Investing millions to create the perfect haven for Americans, the real estate company Chish Nofei Israel has teamed up with Rav Bezalel Rudinsky, rabbi of Congregation Ahavas Yitzchok and Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshivas Ohr Reuven and Yeshivas Darchei Noam of Monsey, in the development Ramat Givat Zeev, a brand-new, American-style community located minutes from Jerusalem.

Rav Rudinsky plans to help establish an American-style yeshiva in the neighborhood and assist in the overall religious and educational functions of the community, aiming to facilitate in the integration of American families moving to Eretz Yisrael.

“The idea, bezras Hashem, is to help members of our community here in the States to have everything that we have here but with the zechus of

being in Eretz Yisrael, with a unique emphasis on building an all-inclusive community where everyone feels connected,” said Rav Rudinsky. While the community is still in the preliminary stages of construction and development, many families have begun to take an interest in relocating to Ramat Givat Zeev. In addition to helping establish chinuch institutions in the neighborhood, Rav Rudinsky plans to spend some of his time in the new

community with his family while still continuing all of his responsibilities in the States.

“The concept is basically to create a unified communal lifestyle in Eretz Yisrael,” Rav Rudinsky explained.

“And for the families with younger children, to have in place an educational system similar to what we have in the U.S.” According to Rav Rudinsky and many members of his community, Ramat Givat Zeev provides

the perfect setting for this, aiming, bezras Hashem, to create a communal hashkafa of openness that integrates a frum family-centered lifestyle and quality of living in Eretz Yisrael.

Ramat Givat Zeev will be an upscale, Torani community built to include high standards of construction and infrastructure located in the outskirts of Jerusalem. The neighborhood will blend Torah living with modern recreational and commercial centers, complete with all necessary services and amenities. With construction slated to finish in the next two years, Ramat Givat Zeev will be a gated neighborhood that includes schools, yeshivas, shuls, shops, and a country club.

In addition, the neighborhood will feature wide streets, walking paths and LED street lighting. There will several expansive parks and playgrounds, and beautifully manicured gardens, as well as fountains and sports clubs.

Some 200 families, including English-speaking families in Israel and North Americans planning for aliyah in the near future, already have purchased private homes and luxury apartments in the neighborhood. Select apartments remain.

Ramat Givat Zeev is bound to be a magnificent, dream-come-true community for those looking to invest in a future in Eretz Yisrael.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

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JANUARY 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

On December 8, yeshiva boys came to visit and play Chanukah bingo with residents of the Margaret Tietz Center.

Jelly doughnuts were given to the boys as a token of our appreciation.

TEAM Shabbos United Hundreds of Shuls and Communities Nationwide

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he conversation has begun.

On Shabbos Parshas Vayechi, December 26th, 2015, more than 300 shuls and communities in 135 cities nationwide joined the Traditional End-of-life Awareness Movement (TEAM). A project of the National Association of Chevra Kadisha (NASCK), under the leadership of Rabbi Elchonon Zohn, this initiative helped raise awareness throughout our community about the Torah’s perspective on end-oflife matters.

In shuls around the country, beginning the preceding week and throughout the Shabbos, rabbis dedicated their sermons, lectures and programs to generate the discussion.

Some of the topics that were addressed included the inherent sanctity of life, the importance of making proper medical decisions, choosing traditional Jewish burial practices

and making wills in accordance with halacha.

The Torah perspective on life is not easy to talk about. As such, many of these overriding obligations and far-reaching issues are infrequently mentioned.

“Due to a lack of awareness about the inherent sanctity of every moment of life,” says Rabbi Elchonon Zohn, “many people make end-oflife decisions that are contrary to Torah values. The goal of TEAM Shabbos was to open the discussion about ‘Respecting Life - Here and Hereafter’ in a unified national movement to facilitate the necessary awareness about these issues.”

The idea to dedicate Parshas Vayechi to the discussion of k’vurah k’halacha began with the Vaad Harabonim of Queens during the 1980s.

Through initiating the TEAM Shabbos program, NASCK was able to ex-

What finally happened with Ignatz Timothy Trebitsch-Lincoln?

See the final segment on page 88

pand this mission into a thriving national movement that included more than 300 shuls.

“The tzibbur welcomed the opportunity to learn about the importance of end-of-life directives and halachic wills, as well as hear an overview of the halachos of end-oflife situations and issues related to a bais hakvaros,” explained Rabbi Dovid Heber, Rav of K’hal Ahavas Yisroel Tzemach Tzedek in Baltimore, Maryland. “Thanks to the efforts of NASCK, these sensitive topics were addressed ‘l’maaseh uv’rov am’ in our shul, together with many other kehillos in our community and nationwide.”

Many Torah-observant people do not fully understand the modern-day practical applications of end-of-life concepts such as pikuach nefesh and mes mitzvah. These important concepts require us to make proper medical decisions and assist our less-observant friends, relatives, acquaintances and co-workers in choosing traditional Jewish burial practices.

In fact, a rabbi from Maryland noted, “Given the level of knowledge of the people in my shul, I was very surprised how unfamiliar they were with the many important hashkafos and halachos that pertain to end-oflife matters. I’m so grateful to TEAM Shabbos and NASCK for giving me the push and the opportunity to

speak about it.”

“The TEAM Shabbos movement was a national success with overwhelming positive feedback. Many of the rabbonim that presented shiurim on end-of-life matters were surprised at the positive and accepting attitude that their communities responded with,” Rabbi Zohn explained. “The ‘It’s about time’ sentiment was an oft-repeated phrase this Shabbos.”

So, what’s the next step for NASCK and TEAM Shabbos?

“We will continue to keep the discussion open and to generate awareness surrounding the importance of the inherent sanctity of life and choosing traditional burial choices.

We look forward to expanding the TEAM b’ezras Hashem next Parshas Vayechi,” says Rabbi Zohn. “We encourage communities to join NASCK’s many ongoing programs dedicated to support, inform, educate and inspire all those involved with and all those seeking information about traditional Jewish burial, including programs promoting halachic living wills and EMES (Emergency Medical Education and Sign-up) cards.”

For more information about the National Association of the Chevra Kadisha (NASCK) and the TEAM Shabbos, please visit nasck.org or call 718-847-6280.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

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Around the Community

The Flatbush Basketball League Week #5 Recap however, the pressure was too much for Batampte as they lost their second straight 53-49 the final.

Junior Division Rami’s Pizza 25, Jewish Connection 12: Mutty Izsak was unstoppable for Rami’s with 15 of 25 team points.

AB Mosseri was able to help out with 6 as well. Yitzi Ponzak seemed to be the only one in the score column for Jewish Connection as they took their 3rd loss and now fall to 2-3.

Oh Baby dominated against 5 Towns Jewish Times and now improve to a perfect 5-0. Jonathan Tzubary was at his best scoring 22 out of the team’s 32. Dovid Senderovitz combined for the remaining 10. In the loss, 5TJT tried to earn themselves their second win, however, a depleted team was unable to stop Oh Baby destruction.

Intermediate Division China Glatt 82, Buzz Magazine 72In a tough effort for grab their second win of the season, Yitzchok Devor and Zevy Finkelstein scored a combined 69 points for Buzz. However, China Glatt had others plans in store.

Leiby Leibowitz was on a roll scoring a season high 37 points while newly

acquired Dovy Florans helped out with the other 22. Six out of 8 players were in the scoring column, as a well-rounded game was seen on their end. China Glatt is now 4-1 and Buzz still looking for that 2nd win.

In an amazingly close game be-

tween Horsepower Electric and Batampte Pickles, Horsepower was up by 1 at half 20-19. David Suad was at it as usual, scoring 31 while Avrumi Ehrman helped out with 12. Aryeh Ponzak for Batampte was able to put up 23 and Shimon Greenwald 14,

Senior Division ITP 41, Plaza Auto Leasing 32The 4-0 ITP was facing the 2-2 PAL in what seemed to be a close game at first. Mendy Schiffenbauer was able to put up an easy 26 points for ITP. Dovid Rosenberg and Naftali Waldman combined for 21 for PAL, however, their strong efforts were to no avail. ITP continues to be undefeated.

Pizza Nosh 40, Visual Image 39 OT- After a 3 way trade to help improve the overall division, Pizza Nosh was looking for their long-awaited W. In this game they finally got it, but it was not easy. At half, Visual was up by 1, 15-14. Yehudah Fonfeder had 15 for Pizza Nosh while Tzvi Baruch bounced in 21 for Visual. It came down to an intense OT to decide the winner in this one, Pizza Nosh by 1.

It seems like the trade paid off for Pizza Nosh. Will they continue to win nail-biters?

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JANUARY 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

Yeshiva Gedolah Ateres Yaakov Shabbos Hisachdus

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eshiva Gedolah Ateres Yaakov, together with its Rosh Yeshiva, Rav Meir Braunstein, held its annual Shabbos Hisachdus this past Shabbos at the Raleigh Hotel in South Fallsburg. Yeshiva Gedolah rabbeim, alumni, bachurim and avreichim joined for a special Shabbos of unity and inspiration. The ruach, achdus and food was truly amazing! The yeshiva also made a tremendous kiddush Hashem, when the hotel guests complimented the yeshiva on the menschlechkeit and friendless of its talmidim.

The Shabbos was enhanced even more by a program initiated by one of the rabbeim, Rabbi Yechezkel Rodkin, which had the Shabbaton participants collectively learn Mesechta Makkos over Shabbos. Motzei Shabbos, after a delicious Melave Malka and some recreation, the Yeshiva made a siyum on the mesechta they successfully completed. The siyum was a beautiful event, followed by the joyous dancing which lasted well into the night. Many of the hotel guests witnessed the excitement of the siyum and some even joined in the dancing!

Moshe Brandsdorfer, the yeshiva’s Director of Development, commented, “Watching the rabbeim and talmidim spending Shabbos together was remarkable. The warmth permeating from our rabbeim creates a kesher with their talmidim that will last a lifetime.”

The Yeshiva was also honored by

the presence of its president, Mr. Robert Schonfeld. Mr. Schonfeld gave a beautiful speech during Shalosh Seudos on the subject of hakaras hatov

and shalom bayis. The Yeshiva would like to thank Mr. Schonfeld for attending, as well as to Ossie’s Fish for sponsoring the delicious food for the Shab-

baton. Thank you to Gourmet Glatt as well, for sponsoring the food for the oneg and siyum. A memorable time was had by all.

Rambam: The Capital of Club Start-Ups

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he philosophy of Rambam Mesivta’s Student Activities program, “A Team for Every Talent. A Club for Every Curiously. A Place for Every Person,” was on full display the last few weeks as three student-initiated and -run clubs were founded.

One of the advantages of a school that is small by design is that without a lot of bureaucracy, ideas turn into action with great speed. Another plus is that in an intimate school where everyone knows your name, everyone feels comfortable being who they are and they are encouraged to share their interests with the rest of the world. So in addition to Mock Trial, Debate, College Bowl, Fencing, EMT, Chess, Boardgame/Strategy,

Sports, Book, Film, Sushi, Basketball, Hockey, and scores of other teams and Clubs, Rambam now offers Public Speaking, Anime, and Bob Ross Painting.

Rambam Sophomore Yoni Auerbach, who is also a member of Lev Leytzan, The Compassionate Clown Society, started the Public Speaking Club with over 20 students signed up.

They recently met and Yoni showed videos of famous speeches and set up an icebreaker game to show how comfort level is the defining factor in a successful speech. His background as a clown was on full display as he shared the skills he learned from Lev Leytzan with the rest of the club. The group also participated in extemporaneous speaking exercises and enjoyed

a pizza dinner.

A freshman, Yoni Szpigiel, is now running the newly formed Anime Club. The Club meets once a week during lunch to watch Anime films and analyze its history, cultural impact, and subtext. Another group of freshmen, led by Ethan Aaron, Eliyahu Levy, Rafi Schlager, Oren Teeter, and Jeremy Zach, have created the Bob Ross Painting Club. Each member of the club has his own easel and painting supplies and the club follows Bob Ross on YouTube as he walks them through the process of painting beautiful oil landscape paintings in under 22 minutes.

It is also part of the Rambam Mesivta Club ethos that the students’ fun should work toward the benefit of oth-

ers. To that end, all the existing clubs and newly formed clubs will have a chessed component. For instance, the Public Speaking Club plans on joining the school’s choir and Poetry Slam team when they entertain at a nursing home later in the year. The Bob Ross Club and the Anime Club will also feature their activities at the school’s end of the year OHEL/Rambam Club Night Spectacular.

It is truly amazing that with so many clubs in existence already, more clubs are being formed in January at Rambam. What’s more amazing, however, is an atmosphere that fosters growth, creativity, and inventiveness in students who are behaving like leaders.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

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Around the Community

YFR Talmidim Celebrate Bar Mitzvah in New Haven, CT

The bar mitzvah boy is on the couch in the center, surrounded by his friends

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his past Shabbos, Parshas Shemos, fifteen Yeshiva of Far Rockaway ninth graders went to spend Shabbos in New Haven, CT, to celebrate the bar mitzvah of Moshe Greer, son of Rabbi and Mrs. Eliezer Greer, Rosh Yeshiva and Rebbetizin of the New Haven Yeshiva. The bar

mitzvah boy, a talmid in the Yeshiva’s ninth grade, and his brother, Menachem, who is in the Yeshiva’s eleventh grade, are outstanding talmidim.

Rabbi Daniel Greer, the boys’ grandfather, has been active in Jewish life in New Haven for over four

decades and was involved in the building of the local Yeshiva and shul, and Reb Dov, the boys’ uncle, is a local posek and is very involved in local chassadim, particularly at Yale New Haven Hospital.

It was a tremendous opportunity for the Yeshiva’s boys to make a kid-

dush Hashem among the families and Yale University students who were able to observe and participate with the boys in the davening, learning and being mesameach with the bar mitzvah boy.

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JANUARY 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

VitalOne Defies the Odds, Saving Vacationer’s life with Emergency Medevac from Cuba to Miami By: Shoshana Bernstein

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rofessionalism, medical expertise and timeliness were all in high gear this past weekend as VitalOne defied the odds and executed a politically and logistically complicated emergency Medevac from Havana, Cuba to Miami.

It is safe to say that when Mrs. X left Israel for her much anticipated family getaway in Cuba she never envisioned returning by way of an elaborate airborne ICU taking up the entire first class cabin of El Al airlines.

The 70 year old woman’s vacation took an unexpected and potentially deadly turn when she collapsed Thursday morning in the lobby of her Cuban hotel. The victim of a sudden stroke, she was rushed to Cuba’s severely substandard hospital where it was determined that she had suffered an intracranial hemorrhage.

“I got the call Friday morning,” explains Isaac Leider, dubbed Rabbi 911™ for his world-renowned success in dealing with air medical transports.

“There was no way the patient was going to survive in a Cuban hospital. The logistics for the 60 minute flight from Havana to Miami are always complicated. This time the complications were tenfold.”

Due to the holiday weekend, there was no one available to sign off on the necessary permits which would allow VitalOne to send an ICU jet to land in Cuba. Furthermore, assuming the Cuban airport handler could be reached and the permits secured, there were no beds available at any tertiary care (top medical) facility in Miami. Without an ICU bed assignment, the medical parole visa would not be approved.

No challenge is too great for the VitalOne team. They began reaching out to their high level contacts, amongst them a ‘black card carrying’ philanthropist, who requested anonymity.

With just one call to the CEO of Baptist Hospital in Miami, a bed was procured.

But the challenges kept coming.

For inexplicable reasons, Cuban immigration officials put a 24 hour hold on granting permission for the VitalOne jet to land and pick up the patient.

Isaac contacted the Israeli Foreign Ministry Situation Room but needed someone in the United States with the

ability to secure the permit to land.

Enter Mr. Michael Wildes, Esq.; a well known immigration attorney and former federal prosecutor.

“I’ve worked with Isaac Leider on many occasions. When I see Rabbi 911™ on my caller ID, I know it is a matter of life or death,” explained Mr. Wildes, who returned my call while on vacation in Mexico. “VitalOne was facing a bureaucratic glitch and with no one available to countermand this order, there was a good chance the patient would not live.”

Michael Wildes, former mayor of Englewood, New Jersey and a 23 year veteran of Hatzalah, spent the next several hours working the phones well into Friday night, along with Isaac, to save this Jewish woman’s life. A board member of NORPAC (a political action

committee working to improve Unites States and Israel relations) he reached out to Dr. Ben Chouake, the President of the organization, who in turn contacted Senator Menendez’ Chief of Staff, whom he has known for twenty years.

Mr. Wildes credits Isaac, who he dubs ‘an angel’ with doing a great job of smoothing the way, arranging for an available bed, collecting the proof needed for a medical parole visa, verifying that the patient would not become a medical charge in the Unites States and a burden to the taxpayers (traveler’s insurance is covering 100%), and securing the written assurances that there was no other medically mandated option to save this woman’s life.

The situations was further complicated since the patient is Israeli, and Israel has no diplomatic relationship with Cuba. Mr. Wildes reached out to United States Congressman Ed Royce of California who serves as the Chairman of the House Foreign Affairs Committee. Congressman Royce

jumped into action; personally making calls to various State Department officials to help secure the permits.

“This was a truly heartwarming instance of partisan efforts. These are busy politicians who stepped in and used their time and contacts to affect a positive outcome. Everyone appreciated the fact that we were Observant Jews, nonetheless on the phones on Shabbos, committed to saving a life.

VitalOne leads by example and I tip my hat to everyone who helped make this Medevac possible.”

By Shabbos morning, permission was granted and a bed waiting in the Miami hospital. The ICU jet landed in Cuba with a medical team and all the equipment necessary to safely fly the patient, at sea level, to Miami. Seventy-two hours later, thanks to life-saving surgical intervention, VitalOne was once again on the scene, flying her via air ambulance to Newark Airport where they had turned the entire first class cabin of an El Al flight into a completely retrofitted airborne ICU.

VitalOne was able to repatriate the patient where she will receive further care from Professor Zvi Ram at Tel Aviv’s Sourasky Medical Center.

Thanks to VitalOne’s experience and know-how, they were able -- with G-d’s help and the dedicated assistance of the various people involved-- to get this patient the emergency medical care she needed to survive, all at no cost to the family; VitalOne procured insurance coverage for everything.

Proving once again how fitting the name VitalOne is for a team of medical transport experts that is considered the number one choice of doctors around the world, when vital air transport is needed to save a life.

Author’s note: VitalOne maintains the importance of choosing your vacation spot with a potential medical crisis in mind. At the very least, make sure your insurance provides for medical transport and/or purchase additional insurance when you book your flight. You never know.

YHT Sends Warmth to the IDF

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he students and parents at YHT embarked on a fundraiser over Chanukah to send gloves and refreshments to the IDF. Representatives of Connections Israel visited KokAhav 3 base in Samaria, where they brought the refreshments and winter gloves donated by Yeshiva Har Torah. The soldiers were very appreciative for the efforts on their behalf and sent a thank you video to the school.

Both the Armored Corps and the Home Front Command units serve on Kokhav 3, and they really benefited from the Chanukah tzedaka and support! YHT was once again privi-

leged to work together with Connections Israel, strengthening the connection between the student community and IDF soldiers.

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The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

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JANUARY 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community After learning about mikvaos in Gemara Makos, the eighth grade classes of Rabbi Greenspan and Rabbi Yaroslawitz of Yeshiva Ketana of Long Island went to see the construction of the Grove Street Mikva as well as the Mikva by Rabbi Spiegel’s Shul. The boys were shown the mikvaos as well as the boros and were shown a slideshow explaining the details behind the construction and function of the mikvah.

HANC High School Girls’ Retreat “Rocked Simcha”

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Register online at: www.impactfulcoaching.com/ new-events For more info: 212.470.6139 info@impactfulcoaching.com

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he HANC High School Girls’ Retreat took place on Shabbat Parashat Vayechi, December 25-27, at the Radisson Hotel in New Jersey and once again proved to be a highlight of the year. Students bonded with peers and teachers alike and felt an enhanced sense of closeness and connection that the Shabbat experience often brings. The achdut and simcha that the girls exuded was palpable all Shabbat long and will certainly carry over into school.

The theme of “Rock Simcha” was woven through the entire weekend.

From the simcha-themed music videos produced by the girls during the icebreaker Friday activity, through the parting slideshow on Sunday morning, the girls took part in inspiring activities and workshops that will leave a lasting impression. Our renowned guest speaker, Mrs. Jackie Bitton, captivated and touched each and every student. The beautiful singing of zmirot led by the heads of chorus, the student-delivered divrei Torah, the workshops conducted by our own HANC faculty and their

spouses, and the participation of many teachers’ families all came together to create an uplifting Shabbat atmosphere.

On Motzaei Shabbat, the girls participated in the HANC’s Got Talent Show in which many of the students displayed their unique talents on stage, featuring a beautiful performance by the girls’ chorus and individual acts in song and dance.

HANC’s morot starred in a hilarious and entertaining skit written by our very own Morah Nathan. The entire show was brilliantly emceed by seniors, ZB Weiss, Liana Hersch, and Vanessa Roga. The evening continued with a delicious Melave Malka and a spirited Chagigah, culminating in a beautiful kumzitz.

The girls boarded the buses with newfound friends and a renewed appreciation for their school, Shabbat, and their teachers. A huge thank you to Morah Leigh Henoch, Mrs. Channi Packer, and to senior Retreat heads, Naomi Liviem, Gila Ornstein, and Emily Eisman, for making this event a huge success.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

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Around the Community

At the Dinner of Khal Machzikei Hatorah this week

BBY First Graders Reach a Milestone

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fter years of learning the foundations of kriah, the BBY first graders are deemed ready to receive their first siddurim, midway through the academic year. On December 25, Morah Presser’s class and Morah Rosenberg’s class had their big moment. And on January 1, Morah Orlansky’s class and Morah Sorotzkin’s class enjoyed theirs.

All the proud women in the children’s lives who could possibly attend this event made it their business to be there. Great-grandmothers, Bubbies, aunts, and, of course, the proud mothers waited expectantly to see their own beautiful girl walk into the Simcha Hall. Dressed in Shabbos clothing, as befits such an auspicious occasion, the girls entered and calmly ascended the stage where they proceeded to wring tears of joy from their adoring audience. With all the innocence of youth and the purity instilled in them by their wonderful, ehrlich moros, the girls sang and danced about tefillah and how precious their siddurim are to them.

At the end of the performances, each girl was presented with her very own siddur encased in a personalized and beautifully decorated velvet bag.

These bags have long been a tradition in BBY, originating back to Rebbitzen Freifeld, a”h, and they add to the chashivus that the children feel for their siddurim. The collation which followed was simple, but the mood was sublime. Teachers were so proud

of their talmidos, the girls were so proud of themselves, and the generations of women who stand behind each little girl were certainly the happiest and proudest of all.

As an interesting addition to the siddur plays on January 1, Morah Neuberg (Limudei Kodesh Menaheles grades 1-4) had a video of her message to the girls played before the performances began. On that very day, Morah Neuberg was in Lakewood, joining the simcha at her einekel’s bris. As Morah Neuberg so eloquently explained, she had a dilemma.

Should she go to her einekel’s simcha in Lakewood or should she go to the simcha of her “eineklach” in BBY? On the day of the siddur plays, she was physically in Lakewood, but her heart, she assured the girls, was with them in BBY. Morah Neuberg then explained the power of the tefillos said by young children and the way in which mothers can keep encouraging their little girls to utilize and expand that power, depicting this with a powerful story of her father R’ Shimon Groner zt”l. As a finale, Morah Neuberg had a personal message from Rav Shmuel Kaminetsky for the BBY girls and families. Rav Shmuel said to tell everyone gathered in that Simcha Hall that “tefillah is a lifeline. Tefillah is oxygen.”

Im yirtzeh Hashem, the BBY first graders will breathe in this oxygen throughout their lives, forging strong connections to Hakadosh Boruch Hu,

and maintaining their love for tefillah.

Bnos Bais Yaakov thanks the following people for their gracious sponsorship of the siddur plays: The

Lichtenstein Family, Mr. and Mrs. Dov Perkal, Mr. and Mrs. Chaim Rapfogel, Anonymous, Mr. and Mrs. Elchanan Bokow, and Mr. and Mrs. David Kalish.

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JANUARY 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

TJH !

You gotta be

kidding

Centerfold ? Riddle me this?

Yankel walks into a coffee shop in Miami and asks the waiter, “How much is a coffee?”

The waiter replies, “Four dollars.”

“And how much is a refill?” inquires Yankel.

“Refills are free,” says the waiter.

Yankel looks at the waiter and says, “OK then, I’ll take a refill!”

Yesterday I went for coffee with the butcher, the baker and the grocer. I sat to the left of Yossi. David sat to the right of the butcher. If Eli, who sat across from Yossi, isn’t the baker, then who sells groceries?

See answer on next page

Signs That You are Addicted to Coffee  You think instant coffee takes too long to make.

 You go to sleep, just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.

 You’re the employee of the month at Starbucks and you don’t even work there.

 You go to the morning Kollel just for the free coffee.

 You have a picture of your coffee mug, on your coffee mug!

 You spend every vacation visiting “Maxwell House.”

 All your kids are named “Joe.”  You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it’s not plugged in.

 You were the inspiration for “Crazy Eddy is going insane.”

 Jim Kramer thinks you need to calm down.

 The Taster’s Choice couple wants to adopt you.

 When someone says, “How are you?” you say, “Good to the last drop.”

 You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.

 You introduce your spouse as your coffee-mate.

 Your first aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.

 You use coffee-flavored toothpaste.

 You have perfected the annoying “ah” sound after each sip of coffee (hat tip to Elaine).

 You have a cat just so you can make your own cheap version of Kopi Luwak coffee. (See trivia for more details)

 You changed your last name from Krieger to Keurig.

 Even when you buy coffee at the drive-thru, you buy an extra one because you need “one more cup of coffee for the road.”

 You know what “caff up” means and can say it without laughing.

 You sometimes color coordinate your coffee thermos with what you are wearing that day.

 Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.

 When introducing your children by their ages, you say, “This is my tall, this is my venti and this is my grande.”

 You are a vegetarian not because you are a PETA sympathizer but because you can never be fleishigs as you might need a coffee (and no, non-dairy creamer is not an option).

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016 The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

*

Coffee Trivia

1. Which country is the largest coffee producer in the world today (producing over 44 million bags of coffee each year)? a. Brazil b. Colombia c. Costa Rica d. Indonesia 2. What’s the origin of “mocha” coffee: a. Arabic word for chocolate b. Yemeni port city c. Island off South America d. It was a Starbucks creation for coffee with a shot of chocolate and meant to connote “more chocolate” 3. How is Kopi Luwak coffee made? a. Special coffee beans are spiced with oregano for 6 months b. Coffee beans are eaten and excreted by Sumatran wild cats c. It is made the same way as any other instant coffee (Kopi Luwak is Indonesia’s brand of Taster’s Choice) d. It is made from an Arabica bean that is chopped up and replanted 4. Most of the coffee in the world is grown in the area between the Tropics of Cancer and Capricorn.

What is this area known as? a. Starbucks Zone b. Java Line c. Coffee Circle d. Bean Belt

5. Approximately how many calories are there in an 8 ounce cup of coffee? a. 0 b. 20 c. 40 d. 60 e. 100 6. In which country it is law that a woman can divorce her husband if he fails to provide her with her daily quota of coffee? a. Italy b. Turkey c. France d. Brazil 7. Who invented instant coffee? a. Constance Palonzo b. Earnest Illy c. George Washington d. Perculatious Darkbean 8. According to a survey by Accounting Principals, a leading finance and accounting staffing firm, how much does the average American worker spend annually on coffee? a. $564 b. $732 c. $891 d. $1,092 Answers: 1. A 2. B- One the largest misconceptions in the U.S. today about coffee is

that mocha coffee is a chocolaty beverage. In fact, there is no chocolate in the mocha bean at all.

Mocha is the name of the largest port in Yemen, where all of the African coffee beans are traded and transported.

3. C- Kopi luwak is the world’s most expensive coffee. The main factor of its high price is the uncommon method of producing such a coffee. It is produced from coffee beans which have been eaten by a cat which is unable to digest coffee beans. In the process of eating the beans, they are fermented in the stomach. When the beans are excreted, they produce a smooth, chocolaty coffee.

4. D 5. A 6. B 7. C- What? George Washington did that too? Yes. But it was a different George Washington, not our beloved first president. In 1906, English chemist George Constant Washington invented the first mass-produced instant coffee.

8. D- Ahh…money well spent!

Wisdom key: 6-8 correct: You win some Kopi Luwak coffee which I am going to personally make for you. (“Hey Mittens, come here and eat these beans”) 3-5 correct: You are not bad and not great … like Starbucks.

0-2 correct: If you lived in Turkey, your wife would have grounds for divorce.

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Answer to riddle: Eli. From the second statement, we know that “I” (you) sat to the left of Yossi.

The fourth statement states that Eli sat across from Yossi. This leaves David sitting across from you, and therefore to the right of Yossi. Yossi is therefore the butcher, from statement three. If Eli isn’t the baker (statement four), then David must be the baker, leaving Eli to be the grocer. Hope you enjoyed your coffee.

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JANUARY 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Torah Thought

Leadership

By Rabbi Berel Wein

T

he fact that the current Torah readings concentrate on the life and career of Moshe as being the all-time supreme leader of the Jewish people, and through them of civilization generally, caused me to give some thought to the trait of leadership. We always think of leadership as a positive trait. Yet, some of the most charismatic and successful leaders of nations and empires have been very bad people who have led their people to ruinous disaster.

So a case can be made that certainly not all phases of leadership are to be viewed as positive attributes. Like all traits of character and behavior, there are many qualifying circumstances that will determine the positive or negative aspects of leadership as it is expressed in particular times and places.

Hitler, Stalin, Chairman Mao and others all possessed great leadership qualities. Yet there is no doubt that the world would have been better off if they never would have become leaders of millions and killers of many millions more. Yet in spite of the fact that on balance one could easily conclude that there have been more bad leaders than good ones, and that leadership is certainly not an absolute as a beneficial trait for humankind overall, there are countless seminars and courses offered on developing the art of leadership.

In business, education, politics, government, sports and the arts, everyone wants to be a leader, no

matter what type of person he or she may be or whether that individual’s leadership will be constructive or destructive to themselves or to society generally.

There is a chicken or egg quality to the issue of leadership. Is leadership a built-in personality trait, hardwired into us the moment we are born or is it rather an acquired societal trait that can be taught and inculcated into others? Again, looking at the plethora of leadership training seminars and courses being offered at all times and places worldwide, it is obvious that the prevailing wisdom is that leadership is an acquired trait – one that anyone can pick up at will by signing up to one of those leadership training course or weekend seminar.

But I have always believed that leadership is like hitting a baseball – either you can or you can’t – and that only fine-tuning can be accomplished by training and practice. The innate qualities to lead people and have them follow your ideas and visions are some of the most powerful personal traits that one can possess.

Of course, leadership requires the ability to articulate one’s ideas and vision clearly and understandably. And even sometimes, though rarer, just the presence of the leader even without great oratorical skills is all that is needed. Our teacher Moshe is probably the leading example of this truism. But over most of world

history, oratorical skills accompanied political leadership, sometimes with baleful consequences such as the cases of Hitler and Mussolini and sometimes with more beneficial results as in the cases of Churchill and Franklin Roosevelt. As we can see, leadership is a very tricky thing to assess.

Rabbinic or religious leadership is even harder to evaluate correctly.

For centuries, rabbinic leadership was based solely on Torah scholarship and erudition. However, in to-

to leadership roles in our community. If one is not a son or a son-in-law of the present day leader then the chances of attaining a leadership role, no matter how talented, is automatically severely limited. Insular communities are by their very nature hostile to new ideas and programs, no matter how necessary they may be for the preservation and growth of the community itself. These communities are certainly suspicious of “outsiders” or any new people rising to power.

The innate qualities to lead people and have them follow your ideas and visions are some of the most powerful personal traits that one can possess.

day’s society within the Orthodox Jewish world, leadership has become more a matter of dynasty and pedigree and less of a matter of true meritocracy. This is true in the Chassidic world as well as in the Lithuanian yeshiva society and, to a certain extent, even in the more “modern” sections of Jewish religious society. This dynastic trend has occasioned great splits in Chassidic courts and in the Lithuanian yeshiva world. It has also inhibited needed talent from rising

Moshe, if he suddenly appeared on the scene and claimed a leadership role for himself, would probably have a hard time being accepted in today’s Orthodox religious world, for he was the ultimate “outsider.” It is a long road back to meritocracy as being the criterion for Jewish religious leadership. But I believe that it is a road that eventually must be traveled in order to guarantee a successful Jewish future.

Shabbat shalom.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

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JANUARY 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Torah Shmuz

Parshas Vaeira Kindliness is G-dliness

By R’ Ben Tzion Shafier

And Pharaoh sent and summoned Moshe and Aharon and said to them, “This time I have sinned; Hashem is the Righteous One, and I and my people are the wicked ones.”

— Shemos 9:27

A

fter months and months of rebellion, Pharaoh finally admitted that he was wrong.

The Da’as Zekeinim explains that the plague of hail moved Pharaoh more than any other. And it was because of one factor: again and again, Moshe cautioned Pharaoh to take his livestock and his slaves inside, because the hail would kill anything living that was left outside. Since Pharaoh was repeatedly warned to save the living creatures, he was moved and recognized his error.

This Da’as Zekeinim is difficult to understand. Why would this detail cause Pharaoh to admit that Hashem was right? He witnessed the greatest revelation of Hashem’s mastery of nature — and it didn’t move him. He watched as Mitzrayim, the superpower of its time, was brought to its knees.

That didn’t move him. Why should this single factor have such an effect?

This question is best answered with a mashal.

THE NATURE OF THE HUMAN

Henry Ford, while a brilliant businessman, was not known for his kindliness. In fact, he used to brag that he never did anything for anyone. The story is told that while he was going for a walk in the fields with a friend,

they heard yelps coming from a nearby property. A dog had gotten caught in a barbed wire fence and couldn’t get out. Ford walked over to the fence, gently pulled on the wire, and freed the dog. When he returned to the road, his friend said to him, “I thought you were the guy who never did anything for anyone.” Henry Ford responded, “That was for me. The dog’s cries were hurting me.”

This story is compelling because Ford didn’t care about anyone but himself. He didn’t choose to be kind.

He didn’t want to feel the pain of others. In fact, he tried his best to squelch this sensitivity. But it was still there.

He couldn’t stop himself. He was pre-programmed to have mercy. In his inner makeup, there was that voice that said, “Henry, the poor animal is in pain. Go do something!” Even though he prided himself on selfishness, he couldn’t quell that voice inside. It bothered him to hear a creature in pain. When he heard those cries, they reached down to his inner core and touched that part of the human that only wants to do good, proper and noble things. It saw an animal in pain and said, “Don’t just stand there, Henry. Do something. That poor animal is suffering.”

LET US MAKE MAN

This is illustrative of the basic components of the human. When Hashem created man, He joined together two diverse elements to form his soul. These elements are his spiritual soul, what we call his neshama, and his animal soul, which is comprised of all of the drives and inclinations needed to keep him alive. The conscious “I” that thinks and feels is made up of both parts.

The neshama comes from under

the throne of Hashem’s glory. It is pure and holy and only wishes for that which is good, proper and noble. Because it comes from the upper worlds, it derives no benefit from this world and can’t relate to any of its pleasures.

The other part of man’s soul is very different. It is exactly like that of an animal, with all of the passions and desires necessary to drive man through his daily existence.

We humans are this contradictory combination. Within me is an animal soul made up of pure desires and appetites, and within me is a holy neshama that only wishes to do that which is right and proper. The animal soul only knows its needs and exists to fulfill them. The neshama is magnanimous and only wishes to give. These two total opposites are forged together to create the whole we know as the human.

This seems to be the answer to the Da’as Zekeinim. Pharaoh was a human being, and as all humans, he had a sublime side to him. He may have spent years ignoring and pushing it down, but it remained within him. What he experienced during the plague of hail was pure chessed. His enemy was concerned for his good.

There was nothing that Hashem had to gain by protecting the cattle and the slaves of the Egyptians. The only motivation was generosity, goodness, and a pure concern for others.

Seeing this warmed even the callous heart of Pharaoh. He recognized that this wasn’t driven by lowly motives.

He understood that he was dealing with something outside of the realm of normal human interests. He saw Hashem.

EMULATING HIS WAYS

This also helps us understand one

of the great ironies of life.

A selfish person is focused on his own needs and wants, and a generous person is concerned with the welfare of others — even at the cost of his own needs. We would assume that the selfish person would be content. After all, he is singly focused on what’s good for him, while the generous person has the good of others on his mind.

Surely the generous one can’t be as happy; he has to worry about the good of others.

Yet, just the opposite is true. The more a person is focused on others’ needs, the happier he is. The more he focuses on his own needs and wants, the unhappier he will be.

When man develops the trait of giving, he achieves inner peace, balance, and harmony. When he ignores it, he suffers. His sense of self becomes fragmented. One part of him is demanding, “What’s in it for me?” and the other side is crying out, “What have I done for others?” The more a person develops the nature of giving, the more he becomes like Hashem, and the holier he becomes.

This is why kindliness is so basic to being a Torah observant Jew. Hashem is giving, kind, and merciful.

Many mitzvos train us in these traits because this is the greatest elevation of the human — to be as much like Hashem as humanly possible. While it takes focus and attention to bring out the higher part of our personality, it is ingrained in our soul and so it comes naturally to us.

Rabbi Shafier is the founder of the Shmuz. com. The Shmuz is an engaging, motivating shiur that deals with real life issues.

All of the Shmuzin are available free of chaarge at the www.theShmuz.com or on the Shmuz app for iPhone or Android.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

Shovavim

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A Three Part Aish Kodesh Lecture Series for Women All Shiurim in Aish Kodesh Beis Medrash at 8:15pm Part I Taharas HamishpachaUpholding A Woman’s Dignity And The Sanctity Of Her Home Tuesday, January 12

by Rabbi Moshe Weinberger Morah D’asra Cong. Aish Kodesh, Mashpia Yeshiva University Part II Journey For A LifetimeStrengthening the Intimate Connection Tuesday, February 2

by Dr. Binyamin Tepfer, PhD Clinical Psychologist, Noted lecturer Part III Review of Hilchos Taharas Hamishpacha with an emphasis on most frequently asked questions Tuesday, February 16

by Rebbetzin Abby Lerner Rebbetzin YI of Great Neck, Faculty YUHS for Girls, Kallah Teacher

*Admission by Donation Aish Kodesh in Conjuction with the Grove Street Mikvah proudly sponsored

by Gourmet Glatt, Part of the Community, Partners in the Community

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JANUARY 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Between the Lines

Yo-Yo Piety

By Eytan Kobre

I

f you’re like many Americans, this calendar year already has seen you resolve to diet, start the diet, and suspend the diet. And January is just barely a week old.

The most common New Year’s resolution, according to Time Magazine, is to lose weight and get back in shape. And (no surprise here) that resolution also is the most likely to be broken. The fresh start offered by a new calendar year inspires weight loss and fitness resolutions, but by mid-January those resolutions usually are a thing of the past.

All this, of course, is just a part of yo-yo dieting – the cyclical loss and gain of weight, resembling the up-down motion of a yo-yo. The dieter initially succeeds in losing weight but is unsuccessful in maintaining the loss, gaining back all the lost weight, and then some. The dieter then seeks to lose the regained weight, and the cycle begins again.

In spiritual terms, Paroah was the consummate yo-yo dieter.

Time and again Paroah was brought to his knees by miraculous plagues. Time and again Paroah humbled himself before G-d and sought His mercy. Time and again G-d lifted the plague.

And, yet, time and again Paroah recidivated – rapidly. “And Paroah saw that there was a respite, and he hardened his heart” (Shemos 8:11). “That’s the way of the wicked – as long as they’re in trouble, they humble themselves; once the trouble passes, they return to their ways” (Shemos Rabba 10:6).

Indeed, this yo-yo scenario repeated itself with each plague, reaching a crescendo during the plague of hail, when Paroah went

so far as to concede, “I have sinned this time. G-d is the righteous one, and my nation and I are the wicked” (Shemos 9:27). Still, his remorse was short-lived: “Paroah saw that the rain and the hail and the thunder ceased, and he continued to sin, and he and his servants made their hearts obstinate” (Shemos 9:34-35; see Shemos Rabba 12:7; Tanchuma, Va’era 17).

Paroah’s was a false repentance because it was never accompanied by authentic growth (Lev Shalom, Shemos 9:27-28). Sure, he said all the right things. He felt remorse.

He confessed. He resolved to change (compare Shemos 9:27-28 and Rambam, Teshuva 2:2). But he did all this in crisis mode. Fiery hail was raining down around him and devastating his country, so naturally he felt closer to G-d – but only for a short while. When the hail stopped, so did his inspiration to change.

R’ Yechezkel Levenstein once was riding in a taxi when his secular driver offered up his life story, unsolicited (as Israeli taxi drivers are wont to do).

“After our tours of duty in the Israeli Army, my friends and I went on safari to the African jungles.

On one excursion, a member of the group ventured out by himself, and, moments later, we heard a horrible cry from the bushes. Running to the noise, we found him bound by a massive boa constrictor crushing him to death. Our attempts to wrest him from the snake’s grip were to no avail, so someone yelled, ‘Say the Shema! Say the Shema!’ Well, you’ll never believe it. He said the Shema, and, just like that, the boa released its grip and slithered away.”

R’ Yechezkel was intrigued. “So what became of your friend?”

The cabbie explained that the man had become religious as a result of this miraculous deliverance.

“And what about you?” asked R’ Yechezkel.

“Well,” explained the cabbie, “at first, I also became more religious.

But that didn’t last long…after all, the snake wasn’t wrapped around me.”

Paroh may have typified this sort of yo-yo piety, but he was not alone.

Upon hearing Daniel’s prophecy that he would lose his mind and his kingdom, Nevuchadnetzar panicked and sang G-d’s praises (Daniel 4:34; see Sanhedrin 92b; Tanchuma, Va’era 17). But when Daniel’s prophecy still had not come to fruition a year later, Nevuchadnetzar retrogressed. No longer in crisis mode, he again boasted of his invincibility and returned to his iniquities (Daniel 4:26-27; see Shemos Rabba 12:7).

This scenario has repeated itself time and again throughout history. Warned of its impending destruction, the entire city of Ninveh went into crisis mode and repented completely within three days (Yona 3:10); six weeks later, they had reverted to their evil ways – and

worse (Yalkut Shimoni, Yona 3).

Likewise, Yisro joined the Jewish people deeply moved by the splitting of the Red Sea and the Jewish victory over the Amalekites, only to later reassume his former position as Midyanite priest (Shemos 18:1 and Rabbeinu Ephraim ad loc.).

In all these cases, the change had no lasting power because it was never real to begin with. It was all yo-yo piety.

That’s human nature. In times of inspiration or crisis, we say all the right things. We talk the talk.

But without some immediate and tangible application, the inspiration dissipates and we regress (see Ramban, Shir HaShirim 2:7; Ha’Emunah V’HaBitachon [Ramban], Chapter 19). So one who witnessed the demise of a woman suspected of adultery is encouraged to vow – right then and there – to abstain from wine so that he not come to such untoward acts (Sotah 2a; Nazir 2a). And perhaps that’s the deeper significance of starting to build the Sukkah immediately following Yom Kippur – to concretize the high achieved earlier in the day (see Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 624:5 and 625:1). Because if inspiration is to have any lasting effect, its initial euphoric phase must be reduced to something practical.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

The laws of temura – the prohibition against “exchanging” an animal designated for sacrifice with another, non-sanctified animal

animal (the product of heat-of-themoment inspiration) is not replaced by an inexpensive one (the result of subsequent retrogression).

“Well,” explained the cabbie, “at first, I also became more religious. But that didn’t last long…after all, the snake wasn’t wrapped around me.”

– take aim at the yo-yo benefactor (see Rambam, Temura 4:14-17).

Both animals, the one first sanctified and the one intended to take its place, must be sacrificed. Recognizing that a person’s initial inspiration may later dissipate, the Torah requires that both animals be sacrificed to ensure that a valuable

This sort of fleeting inspiration is akin to a wealthy man who married off his eldest daughter and invited all the townspeople to an extravagant celebration. An out-oftown guest was impressed by the pageantry – the locals were dressed in brilliant clothing and adorned in the finest jewelry – and assumed

that all the townspeople were affluent.

But remaining in town for several days more, the visitor watched as the townspeople returned all the fine clothing and jewelry they had rented or borrowed for the wedding, donning instead their plebian clothes. At the wedding, the visitor could not distinguish the affluent from the underprivileged. Only in the days that followed did the true social standing of the townspeople emerge.

Short-lived inspiration, explains the Dubno Maggid, is no different.

In times of crisis or revelation, everyone seems close to G-d. Only when those moments pass can we truly know whether the growth is lasting or simply “borrowed.” * * * Fraught with danger and uncertainty, life is like a journey through a field on a stormy night (Moreh Nevuchim, introduction). Every so

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often, lightning strikes and, for a brief moment, the way forward is clear. Then darkness returns, and we must be guided by that flash of lightning –that moment of lucidity – in moving forward. Our journey depends upon using those fleeting moments of clarity even when seem to have vanished.

The next time you find yourself deeply moved – whether because of some unfortunate crisis or some fortuitous revelation or for any reason – learn from Paroah. Take that inspiration and use it to do something special and concrete and lasting.

Save the yo-yoing for your waistline.

Eytan Kobre is a writer, speaker, mediator, and attorney living in Kew Gardens Hills. Questions? Comments?

Suggestions? E-mail eakobre@outlook. com.

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The Observant Jew

Getting the Point

By Rabbi Jonathan Gewirtz

Sometimes it’s not the big, public moments that shape our lives nor the loud, overpowering arguments.

Sometimes it’s the quiet, almost toosubtle messages that have the biggest impact.

I’ve written before about the grandfather who was told what his son intended to name his daughter.

F

or argument’s sake, and to avoid offending most people, let’s say he was going to name her “Beowulf.” He was going to name her “Sarah Beowulf,” because he thought it was such a regal-sounding name.

The proud grandfather, upon hearing the name said, “Beowulf… oh…” That was all he said, but rest assured the young girl ended up without a middle name.

On another occasion, I had made a mistake on something in davening. It wasn’t anything egregious, but it was still a faux pas. A

real tzaddik of a man came over to question it and I told him confidently that this was the custom in my yeshiva. He gave a soft smile and said, “Really… [as in, that’s interesting] OK…” and walked away. Of course, when I paused to think about it later, I realized that I was wrong and he had been right, but he chose not to rub it in and just left me with that little bit of uncertainty which was enough to make me recheck myself.

Well, one day, when I was perhaps seventeen years old, I happened to be in the yeshiva office when the phone rang. In those pre-Google and Wikipedia days, the man on the other end of the line had a Jewish question so he called the yeshiva to ask a rabbi. The secretary, who was not Jewish, had no idea what to do with the call so she handed off the phone to me.

The fellow on the phone said he was an artist and wanted to know the symbolism of the Magen Dovid, the six-pointed Star of David, being made up of two pyramids. As the Egyptian pyramids carry some meaning in the occult or New Age approach I believe he was involved in, he felt that part of the power of the Jewish symbol emanated from the

fact that it consisted of two pyramids.

I assured him that there was absolutely no connection between the Magen Dovid and the pyramids. If you think about it, they aren’t even pyramids, which are 3-D objects, they are simply triangles. Either way, I was emotionally offended that he even suggested we got our strength from the Egyptian symbols and it probably came across in the inflection of my voice.

What he said to me next floored me, though not by packing a huge punch. You know the expression, “Knock me over with a feather?”

Well, that’s figuratively what he did. He asked me, in a soft voice, “Are you very learned?” The implication was clear, that I was a wetbehind-the-ears yeshiva boy pontificating on a topic I didn’t know all that well and implying that I was an expert. I suddenly realized how foolish I should have felt because he was right.

My tone softened. I told him that to my knowledge there was no connection but I would do some research and get back to him. I ended up writing him a page of information on my word processor (sort of like a typewriter but with a non-standard floppy disk) and mailing it to him.

I explained that the six points represented the four directions, plus up and down, to reference where Hashem is in control, namely everywhere. The fact that it was shaped like two pyramids may have been coinci-

Often when we confidently state our opinions, we forget that they should be based on facts. We pretend that we’re all-knowing and that there’s no possibility we could be wrong, but that’s our big mistake. The man

He gave a soft smile and said, “Really … [as in, that’s interesting] OK…” and walked away.

dental. I never heard back from him but hopefully his art was able to be made even without the pyramid connection.

didn’t argue with my opinion on the pyramids but I sure got his point – all six of them – and it’s a lesson I still build on today.

What I learned, though, was that the most humbling statements are those that cause us to truly examine ourselves. If someone were to try to change us by telling us how bad we were, we’d naturally get defensive and they wouldn’t get very far.

By respecting our boundaries and letting us make the determination of whether we were right or wrong, like the fellow did with the davening or the grandfather who didn’t yell and scream about his granddaughter’s name, the questioners impel us towards objective truth.

Jonathan Gewirtz is an inspirational writer and speaker whose work has appeared in publications around the world. You can find him at www.facebook. com/RabbiGewirtz and follow him on Twitter @RabbiJGewirtz. He also operates JewishSpeechWriter.com, where you can order a custom-made speech for your next special occasion. Sign up for the Migdal Ohr, his weekly PDF Dvar Torah in English. E-mail info@JewishSpeechWriter.com and put Subscribe in the subject.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

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I don’t have anything to say, so I’ll just show a picture worth 2,000 words.

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JANUARY 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

A Fulfilled L fe

Righteous Leadership

By Rabbi Naphtali Hoff

W

e are well aware that Pharaoh had no desire to let the Jews walk free from Egypt, despite numerous pleas from their leadership. He even went so far as to challenge Hashem’s supreme power and His right to demand His nation’s release. “And Pharaoh said, “Who is the L-rd that I should heed His voice to let Israel out? I do not know the L-rd, nor will I let Israel out.” (Shemos 5:2) Out of desperation, Moshe complained to Hashem, who promised to unleash a barrage of assaults against the stubborn monarch and his people.

Unquestionably, Hashem could easily have compelled the Egyptian ruler to let the Jews out. But that would not have achieved His true purpose of teaching Pharaoh and his people to see the folly in their ways and seek atonement. In the words of Seforno (Ibid, 7:3): Hashem desires the repentance of all men, not their destruction… (His goal was) to bring the Egyptians to teshuva through showing them His great power…

If Hashem had not strengthened his heart, Pharaoh would have released the Jews, but not out of any desire to turn to Hashem … rather out of an inability to stand up to the pressure; and that would not have been teshuva at all…

This was a lesson to klal Yisrael … to teach that Hashem does go a distance with a human being in order to bring him back to true repentance…

It was only at the end of the parsha, following the seventh plague of barad (hail), that Pharaoh finally acknowledged his error. “So Pharaoh sent and summoned Moshe

and Aharon and said to them, ‘I have sinned this time. The L-rd is the righteous One, and I and my people are the evil ones.’” (Ibid, 9:27) “Never before did Pharaoh say that Hashem is just. This was achieved only here at barad.” (Tanchuma, Vaeira 20) What was it about barad that caused this change in attitude? Furthermore, why was the conversation now one of righteous versus evil, rather than a simple admission that Hashem was stronger and the ultimate victor?

A close look at the warning that preceded the plague actually indicates that something special was on the way, something that would force a change in the way that Pharaoh approached the Jewish G-d and His people. “This time, I am sending all My plagues into your heart and into your servants and into your people, in order that you know that there is none like Me in the entire earth.” (Shemos 9:14) Hashem was setting Pharaoh up to clearly expose – to himself and to his nation – the ruler’s rebellious intentions.

If you still tread upon My people, not letting them out, behold, I am going to rain down at this time tomorrow a very heavy hail, the likes of which has never been in Egypt from the day of its being founded until now. And now, send, gather in your livestock and all that you have in the field, any man or beast that is found in the field and not brought into the house the hail shall fall on them, and they will die. (Ibid, 17-19) With a clearly articulated option to avoid damage, one would have assumed that Pharaoh and his people

would have sheltered their animals.

But they did not. “He who did not pay attention to the word of the L-rd left his servants and his livestock in the field.” (Ibid, 21) “This refers to Pharaoh and his people.” (Shemos Rabbah 12:2) As the plague approached, Pharaoh found himself in a bind. He had committed, ideologically and addictively, to a path of rebellious resistance. “Are we now going to pay attention to Ben-Amram after all this?” (Midrash Shochar Tov, 78:14) He had no choice but to hold out further, knowing good and well that everything left outdoors was doomed.

When Hashem’s promise came to pass, Pharaoh was exposed as a true rebel; he had no choice but to admit to the wickedness of his actions and

opportunity to do so on his own, and even orchestrated circumstances in a manner as to make Pharaoh’s true intentions clear, to him and to his people.

A successful leader understands that every person in his organization has his hang-ups, the kinds of things that we stubbornly cling to despite any rational justification. We all have areas where growth is required and sometimes also need to be brought along to see the master vision and understand our role in that context. The goal should never be to punish those who do not seem to “get it.” Rather we should seek to teach, to cajole, and to redirect others along the path of positive change. Just as Hashem was able to get the most stubborn and ruthless

He wanted to teach Pharaoh a lesson, and still held out hope, so to speak, that the monarch would repent.

reverse his position. So much so, that this same person would one day rise again as king of Ninveh (Yalkut Shimoni, Shemos 176), and would serve as a paradigm for proper teshuva (see Pirkei D’Rabbi Eliezer 42).

Hashem easily could have acted against Pharaoh, swiftly and with finality. But he chose a more circuitous, “righteous” route because he had another objective. He wanted to teach Pharaoh a lesson, and still held out hope, so to speak, that the monarch would repent. He gave him every

of people to see and acknowledge His righteousness more so than His sheer power, we all have the capacity to inspire others to not only achieve more but to do so in a way that helps them see the folly of their ways in a manner that is constructive and growth-oriented.

Rabbi Naphtali Hoff is President of Impactful Coaching & Consulting. He can be reached at 212.470.6139 or at nhoff@ impactfulcoaching.com.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

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JANUARY 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Jewish History

Adventurer, Missionary, Conman, and Political Activist The Incredible Story of Ignatz Timothy Trebitsch-Lincoln

Trebitsch in his Buddhist stage

By Rabbi Pini Dunner

Part V

T

he two-month trial that ensued was a complete debacle.

With no one willing to give evidence either for or against Trebitsch, the trial was dominated by Trebitsch, who spoke at great length about his life history, his beliefs, his involvement with the unsuccessful right-wing conspiracy, and his gripes against the Czechoslovak government. The court demanded that the Czechs submit photographs of all the documents they had bought from Trebitsch to establish their authenticity or otherwise, but only a fraction were sent. After a close examination of these photographs and several other documents confiscated from Trebitsch, the court concluded that they were all undoubtedly genuine.

That being the case, Trebitsch should have been executed for the crime of High Treason, but once again his luck was in. There were certain members of the Austrian coalition government who had also been in touch with rightwing extremists associated with the conspiracy, which meant that if Trebitsch was found guilty it might cause

a political crisis. So, in a remarkable twist of fate, he was found not guilty of both charges and released for deportation in late-June.

The press was waiting for him as he exited the jail. There had been wild speculation as to what he would do now he was free. It was widely believed, including by Trebitsch himself, that his former associates had assigned assassins to kill him, and with no country eager to give him residency rights, there seemed nowhere for him to go. A hushed silence fell as he began a brief statement to the gathered journalists. “My destination,” he told them, “is a profound secret. I will disappear as if the earth has swallowed me up and will reappear in an unexpected place within eight years. Meanwhile, I will have accomplished my task.”

Over the next few months he was spotted under various aliases in a number of different cities in Europe.

In the fall of 1921 he sailed under a false name to the United States. He managed to slip through at the port in New York, but in January 1922 was arrested on immigration charges, then released when he agreed to leave the U.S. via the West Coast. By

October he was reported to be in Tokyo. From there he traveled to China, where he soon became involved with a local warlord, General Yang Sen. Soon afterwards Trebitsch joined the circle of another warlord named Wu P’ei Fu (who would later deny having ever met him). By 1923 he was the advisor to yet another warlord, Wu

to China, but the loan never materialized and before long he was ousted from his advisory position.

In early 1925 Trebitsch once again arrived in New York, where he sold the story of his Chinese exploits to the New York World magazine. Fact was heavily laced with fantasy, as with Trebitsch claiming to have been at

Trebitsch’s reputation as a master of intrigue and political agitation dogged him.

Hung Chiang, with whom he went to Europe on a quest to find a massive loan and also to introduce him and his circle to political figures and individuals of influence. One of the first people he visited was Colonel Max Bauer, whose willingness to see Trebitsch can only be wondered at. Bauer took the Chinese delegation to Germany to meet Ludendorff and others, and soon enough a loan for $25 million was secured from an Austrian industrialist in exchange for mining rights in China. Trebitsch returned

the heart of every major political and military upheaval in China over the previous three years, always one step ahead of the foreign intelligence services and various other foes, real and imagined. But New York had nothing to offer Trebitsch, and he once again went to China where he took to wandering around the country. During that time he decided to explore Buddhism, and within a few months he had moved to Sri Lanka (then Ceylon), where he holed himself up at a Buddhist monastery and began to

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

prepare himself for conversion.

This might have turned out to be just another one of Trebitsch’s insane flirtations, but a dreadful piece of news from England seems to have pushed him over the edge in a way that no previous news had ever done before. Trebitsch’s relationship with his family had always been sporadic.

Over the years he had seen them from time to time, and his wife and some of his children had even spent time with him in China. One of his sons, Ignatius Jr., was a soldier in the British army. In December 1925, in a state of complete drunkenness he entered a residential house together with a fellow soldier in an attempt to rob it. In the course of the robbery a resident confronted the pair and Ignatius Jr. drew a pistol and shot him dead. The two soldiers were quickly apprehended and tried, and on January 21, 1926, Ignatius Jr. was sentenced to death, despite it having been proven that he was drunk on the night in question.

By the time Trebitsch heard about his son’s impending execution, it was already February. Trebitsch immediately boarded a boat to Holland in an attempt to get to Europe in time to say goodbye to him, but when he arrived in Amsterdam he was told his son was already dead. The news seems to have jolted Trebitsch into a new realm. From that moment on his flirtation with Buddhism would dominate his life. In attempt after attempt with various official bodies and people of influence, he tried to reach Tibet or to meet with the Panshen Lama, who was one of the two holiest figures in Buddhism. But Trebitsch’s reputation as a master of intrigue and political agitation dogged him; for the rest of his life he found himself unable to do even the simplest things without stirring the interest of official bodies and foreign intelligence services.

In 1931 Trebitsch was formally ordained as a Buddhist monk. He was never seen in western clothes again, and from that time on only went by the name “Chau Kung.” His wanderings continued apace, now with the accompaniment an entourage of Buddhist disciples made up of an eclectic group of European converts, whose lives he ruled with an iron fist.

He made several attempts to reinject himself into European life, first by visiting Europe with a plan to open Buddhist monasteries for Europe-

Trebitsch as Abbot Chao Kung

an converts, and later on by trying to insert himself into the diplomatic processes thrown up by the various flare-ups between the Japanese and Chinese in China. In 1938, five years after the death of the thirteenth Dalai Lama, Trebitsch claimed to have experienced a vision in which he was told he was the new incarnation of the Dalai Lama. His “vision” was well-timed. The previous year he had publicly declared his support for the Imperial Japanese after the Japanese army occupied most of Shanghai. It was a politically savvy move, as the Japanese would retain control of Shanghai until 1945. In recognition of his vociferous support – most Chinese Buddhists loathed the Japanese – the Japanese government formally recognized him as the Dalai Lama, although in practice their recognition had very little meaning, as the Tibetan-controlled religion rejected his claim outright.

When the Second World War broke out, Trebitsch offered to help the Nazis win the war against the Allies, claiming to have intelligence information that would benefit their war aims. Perhaps he was motivated by his lifelong obsession with the British, which over the years had vacillated between visceral hatred and a longing to return to England. But nothing came of his flirtation with the Nazis, and as the war progressed he faded into complete obscurity. When Trebitsch died following an operation on his stomach on October 6, 1943, his death didn’t merit a mention in any of the hundreds of newspapers who had reported on him during his lifetime. Some would speculate that he was poisoned by the Nazis, or by Allied sympathizers who despised him for his relationship with the Japanese and the Germans, or by Buddhist extremists who loathed him for his claim to be the Dalai Lama, or by

Jews who were disgusted by how he gave them such a bad name. Or maybe he just died from a stomach ailment, followed by a poorly executed medical operation.

We will never know.

Yitzchak Trebitsch, Ignatius Timotheus Trebitsch, Ignatz Timothy Trebitsch-Lincoln, Abbot Chau Kung – and that’s just a list of his real names! Over the years this tempestuous chameleon employed dozens of aliases and adopted the cultures and religions of almost every place he visited. He learned to speak a dozen or more languages fluently and wrote copiously in most of them. He was

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involved in the politics of countless countries over many decades, and his name was recognized by millions across the developed world. He was notorious for his association with agitation, intrigue, espionage and the shady world of those individuals who have no substance, and no morals. And yet, despite his notoriety, he left no lasting imprint, no legacy, and no achievements. His was a life of all wind and no waves. Restless, unhappy, unsuccessful and ultimately a loser, the Orthodox boy from Hungary who ended his life as a Buddhist monk in Shanghai remains an enigma to all those who have encountered the story of his peripatetic existence. * * I am indebted to Professor Bernard Wasserstein, whose book The Secret Lives of Trebitsch Lincoln, Yale University Press, 1988, provided me with the majority of the information and research material for the four-part biographical series on Trebitsch.

Rabbi Pini Dunner is the Rav of Young Israel North Beverly Hills in California.

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JANUARY 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Israel Today

My Me’ona

By Rafi Sackville

M

e’ona is a sleepy, sprawling moshav just south of Ma’alot. It runs from Route 89 into a valley that slopes gently upwards and is peppered with a mixture of old and new villas. Founded in 1949, it has a developed a small, but thriving number of cottage industries that have made it an attractive destination for anyone looking items from food to clothes.

Raphael’s is renowned for his fresh fish and the constant cigarette that dangles from the corner of his mouth like a fisherman’s hook. You can’t leave his store without listening to his latest joke. His store lies just outside the gates to the moshav.

A few yards inside the gates and facing each other are a hamburger restaurant and a bakery cum cafe.

Both eateries are popular. On Friday mornings the local bike group rides in for their weekly espressos and pastry.

The streets can confuse outsiders. They twist and turn where you least expect them to. It’s as if the moshav’s expansion committee simply extended streets wherever their whim took them. Once you pass the security gates you really have to follow the yellow brick road and hope for the best.

For example, upon giving me directions how to get to a specific store, Keren included all the possible wrong turns I was bound to make – and did.

The place she recently accompanied me to is tucked behind a row of cottages and a gravel path. Inside a large shed, whose outside sports a full length poster of a nondescript dress, is a women’s clothing store.

Keren had been there a few days before and had bought a beautiful full length skirt. It was a deep crim-

son and an array of swirling flowers.

She proudly modeled it for me. As she turned around, her hand caught something attached to the outside of the skirt. She bent down to investigate. I could see her heart sink. In her hand was a black security tag that stores remove after a purchase.

We decided to return the dress to the store and ask them to remove the tag. For the third time in a week we took the second right instead of the first and ended up at the back of chicken coop. When we eventually arrived, I sat in the car and waited.

And waited. We arrived at exactly 1pm and it wasn’t until 1:13 that Keren walked to the car emptyhanded.

“I got a refund. They don’t have one of those gadgets that takes the tags off.”

“Did they steal it?” I asked her.

“They buy seconds from different stores throughout the country. It was tagged somewhere and they forgot to take it off.”

“Can they send it back?” I asked.

“They can’t remember where they got it from.”

We sat in the hot car debating whether or not Keren really wanted the dress. I told her not to put the money in her purse, but to go back inside and take the skirt back.

“What are we going to do about the tag,” she asked me.

“We’ll take it to the local mall and ask them to remove it.”

We were soon driving to the mall close to our house, the dress resting in Keren’s lap. When I asked her if she wanted me to go inside with her she told me no, that it certainly wouldn’t take more than a minute or two.

And I waited.

After what seemed like ages I

walked into the store and found Keren arguing with a clerk. “That’s ridiculous,” I must have heard her say three or four times. She saw me approaching. “Can you believe this?!

They don’t even sell this skirt, but they’re accusing me of shoplifting it.”

The young girl behind the counter pointed a threatening finger in Keren’s direction. “You’re asking me to aid and abet your despicable behavior? Well, I’m not going to do it.”

I looked at my watch and across at my frustrated wife. This little dog and pony show had gone on long enough. I leaned across the counter and picked up the offensive item.

“Put it in your bag,” I instructed Keren.

The young girl took immediate offense to my initiative. She called me a thief. I leaned across the counter and said the Hebrew equivalent of “Really! You have got to be joking!” I asked her if we really looked like the Bonnie and Clyde type. This was unfortunate, because a) the aforementioned celebrity outlaws went on a spree of murder, not robbery, and b) the girl behind the counter obviously knew who Bonnie and Clyde were. I was tempted to turn to Keren and tell her to make a break for the car, but my age and skinny knees would have quickly found me out.

“Look, we bought the skirt. We have a receipt.” To which Keren whispered in my ear that she had left it at the store in Me’ona. “Alright, so we don’t have a receipt, but really!

Do you think we would have had the chutzpah to come in here if we had stolen it?”

She conceded the point to the extent she was willing to let us leave the store without her forwarding a complaint. On the way to the car Keren insisted we return the skirt once and

for all.

“But you like it!”

“It’s doing nothing but giving me trouble,” she said waving it over her head like a chicken at kaparot.

So we returned the dress and got a second refund. Later that evening it dawned on me that we’d been going about this the wrong way. I opened YouTube and typed in magnetic security tag removal. Within moments I was watching a video on how to remove the offensive item. I showed Keren, but she was in no mood to watch.

The following morning I told her I’d be home late because I was planning to go back to the store to retrieve the dress...again. I was excited knowing how easily I could remove the magnetic tag.

When I got back home later that afternoon Keren was waiting by the door.

“So where’s the skirt?” she asked me.

“I don’t have it.”

“That is plain enough to see. And where might it be?”

“They sent it out this afternoon to somewhere in the south. They promised they’d give me a call the moment it comes back.”

“With or without the magnetic tag?”

I wish this story had an ending, but at this moment we’ve been waiting over three weeks for the store to contact us to collect the skirt. I’m not holding my breath. Maybe they’re having trouble taking off the tag.

They should call me. I’d be more than willing to send them a link to that video because I’d really like to see Keren wearing that skirt.

Rafi Sackville, formerly of Cedarhurst, teaches in Ort Maalot in Western Galil.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

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JANUARY 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

(Oh, No! Not another column about)

New Year, New You! (But We Mean It) (Really? Really! We Have the Tips to Make It Work!)

By Brendy J. Siev

We hope that you’re doing well with your Rosh Hashana kabbalos that you took on a few months ago. But because resolutions like “Lose weight,” “Organize closets,” or “Join a gym” are unthinkable when staring at a plate of brisket with Succos on the horizon, the time to make those resolutions is now.

You’re flipping the calendar pages, you’ve had a few days off from work, and you’re hoping to take advantage of the secular New Year as a natural, countrywide transition point, a jumping off point, or an opportunity to reset the clock and implement personal change. This article is for you.

S

o, here we go. What kinds of changes are we making for the New Year? If you’re like one of the 580 Americans surveyed by Nielsen, you want to (drumroll, please): 1. Stay fit and healthy (37%) 2. Lose weight (32%) 3. Enjoy life to the fullest (28%) 4. Spend less, save more (25%) 5. Spend more time with family and friends (19%) 6. Get organized (18%) 7. Not make resolutions (16%) 8. Learn something new (14%) 9. Travel more (14%) 10. Read more (12%) Not to be a Debbie Downer, but here are the resolutions most often broken: 1. Lose weight and get fit 2. Quit smoking 3. Learn something new 4. Eat healthier and diet 5. Get out of debt and save money 6. Spend more time with family 7. Travel to new places 8. Be less stressed 9. Volunteer 10. Drink less This means that if you’re one of the 12 percent of Americans who resolved to read more, great!

Buy a Kindle and blow the dust off your library card. It looks like that’s the only one of the top ten

resolutions that hasn’t made the “resolution most likely to be broken” list.

That doesn’t mean that you don’t want (really badly) to realize the goals on your resolution list. And we want you to realize your goals – even though only 8 percent of people actually do. You’re one of the elite 8 percent! So, we have some tips for you to make those resolutions stick.

HOW TO MAKE RESOLUTIONS WORK

A 2012 New York Times article explored what makes people change and what makes people tick.

Turns out that the most prolific researchers on habit formation and change are located at Target headquarters. Target, for example, wants you to make Target your one-stop shop for everything, but the superstore faces a basic challenge: once “habits are ingrained, it’s incredibly difficult to change them.” What Target has learned, though, is there are times in your life when your routine is disrupted. At those points, they can (subtly) convince you to make their store, your store. Because, at transition times, your routines fall apart and your habits are “in flux.”

Habits? Who’s talking habits?

When making resolutions, we often believe that it’s about changing the way we think. But, actually, a Duke University study demonstrated that “habits, rather than conscious decision-making, shape 45 percent of the choices we make every

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016 The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

day.” MIT researchers found that as we learn a pattern and master a skill, we think less.

Now we could understand that little thinking goes into, say, brushing teeth, or even preparing a sandwich, but what the MIT scientists found was that we develop habits even for more complex tasks. Consider, for example, how hard you concentrated when, as a white-knuckled teen in driver’s ed, you first had to pull out of a driveway or perform a k-turn, and how automatic it is now.

The scientists found that there’s a three-step loop to your habits.

First, you have a cue, a trigger telling your brain to go into “autopilot” mode and select the proper habit “route.”

Then, there’s the routine itself—a physical, mental, or emotional habit.

Finally, you have the reward that lets your brain know if this loop is worth remembering. The rewards are either obvious (doughnut! chocolate! sugar rush!) or subtle (the tinge of relief you get after pulling out of the driveway safely).

Soon, the cue and reward are so automatic that they become folded into each other and neurologically intertwined.

Remember, of course, that “habits aren’t destiny.” But once your brain puts that loop in place and you have that habit in place, it’s hard to make decisions to override the loop. You need to fight a habit deliberately—and find new cues and rewards—to overcome the old habits.

You need to fight a habit deliberately—and find new cues and rewards— to overcome the old habits.

This is the trick to making resolutions, sticking with them, and making them stick to you.

So here are our tips for making resolutions and making sure that you stick to them.

Stick-to-It Tip 1: Identify Cues and Rewards that will Help You Develop a New Routine

Don’t just say: I’ll lose weight, or I’ll exercise more. That probably won’t work, unless you have huge amounts of willpower (and we know how well that worked for Frog and Toad).

A Columbia University and University of Alberta study followed 256 members of an exercise class. Those who identified the cues and rewards that would help them develop exercise routines

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spent twice as much time exercising as their peers.

as a way and start of your road to new habits. It’s a new calendar; time to start your new routine.

Stick-to-It Tip 2: Small Doses

Stick-to-It Tip 6: Learn Your Bad Habit Cues and Routines.

Then Disrupt Them

You’re creating new three-step loops. Make small goals.

If you want to start running, choose a simple cue: always put on your sneakers before breakfast, or your running clothes near your bed. Then set a clear reward: a midday treat (sushi? recording your miles in a log book?). Soon, your brain will anticipate the reward and will actually crave the treat and feeling of accomplishment. You’ll have an internal impulse to stick on those sneakers.

Stick-to-It Tip 3: Remove the Negative Cues

You want to spend more time with family. It’s not just about taking the family on major trips.

(See Tip 2.) We’re talking small, valuable moments here.

Start with making the time you have with your family more meaningful. You want to spend less time on your phone and focus on your kids and spouse at the dinner table. So go screen-free for a few hours.

But here’s the challenge: the little chime/vibrations your smartphone makes when an email or text comes through cues your brain to look forward to some sort of reward/pleasure of reading the text or email. You think you can ignore that ding, but you’re actually somewhat distracted by the thought that there’s an email or text you’re not seeing.

So turn off the sound and disable the buzzing.

You’ll be able to focus on your family more and spend more time with them.

Stick-to-It Tip 4: Create Little Rewards

Walk into a messy room or kitchen (cue), clean it up following a set routine (routine), and then spray some Febreze or room freshener whose smell tells your brain you’ve done a great job (reward). Do this with lavender water on your beds when you finish making them or by lighting a scented candle in your living room when you finish vacuuming. A check on your calendar when you’ve completed a workout or a day of healthy eating is rewarding as well.

Stick-to-It Tip 5: Choose a Time of Transition

Newlyweds are more likely to start buying a new type of coffee. New homeowners are more likely to buy different kinds of cereal. The newly divorced start buying different kinds of beer.

While major life events like marriage, births, and deaths are likely to form the best new habits, you can create artificial disruptors too. Use 2016

Every afternoon, you go to the corner store, buy a cookie—perhaps the only kosher item in your office’s minimart—and eat it while shmoozing with a friend in the breakroom.

That’s the routine. Now, what’s the cue?

Hunger? Boredom? The afternoon sugar slump?

And what’s the reward? Ah, that you think you know. The cookie’s taste, the chance to have a break from work, and the cookie shmooze time. But you need confirmation.

To figure this out, disrupt the routine and test each cue and reward.

Most cues fit into five categories: location, time, emotional state, other people, or immediately preceding action.

So, when you feel the cookie urge, before rising from your desk, record: • Location: Desk • Time: 3:36 • Emotional state: Bored • Who else is around? No one • What action preceded this urge? Answered an email.

Now, get up and disrupt the routine.

Day 1. Check if the cue is boredom: Cookie time!

Go downstairs, but don’t enter the bodega. Go and take a walk.

Day 2. Check if the cue is a sugar slump: Cookie time! Go downstairs and grab a Starbucks.

Day 3. Check if the cue is hunger: Cookie time!

Go downstairs, buy an apple, and eat it while shmoozing in the breakroom.

Day 4. Check if the cue is a loneliness: Cookie time! Go to a friend’s desk and talk.

Then you’ll know: urge comes at 3:30. Reward is bonding with a colleague.

Now, to change the habit and create a new loop, create a new 3:30 habit. Every day, at 3:30, stand up, find someone to talk to, shmooze for ten minutes, then go back to your desk. Cookie habit broken.

REAL RESOLUTIONS Forty-five percent of Americans make New Year’s resolutions. Forty-one percent believe those resolutions will stick. Ninety-one percent believe their resolutions are achievable. Yet only five percent have never broken a resolution.

We don’t want that to happen to you. So here are some reasonable resolutions you can select so that you’re not celebrating January 17, the official Ditch New Year’s Resolution Day (we did not make that one up).

Make This Year the Year of You. How?

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1. Get Rid of Guilt

Stop feeling upset about stuff you have no control over, mistakes you’ve made, or believing you need to live up to an image that’s not actually you.

How to do that?

2. Destress

Create habits that relax you. This can mean: • Taking a weekly yoga class. (And not the Jillian “Yoga Meltdown” kind. Too much yelling.)

• Buying scented candles.

• Focusing on what you have rather than what you think other people want you to have or be.

• Take the stress out of certain chores. Remember: Fruit is the New Shabbos Dessert. You don’t need the calories, your family doesn’t need the calories, and no one needs the stress of creating those elaborate meals and desserts curated in magazines read over Shabbos. If the recipe has more than five fresh ingredients, if it involves taking out a mixer, if it involves more than two steps, it’s not for you. Fridays shouldn’t be a day of stress.

And Shabbos dessert? Fruit taste great— shall we say Divine?—and is made by the Best Chef. Find fulfillment and eat grapes.

3. Realize Your Family’s Greatness Focus less on a achieving a “look” and keeping up with the Goldbergs. Instead, help realize your children’s potential.

Get your kids the therapy they need, the speech, the OT, the extra tutor, maybe music lessons, or a weekly date with Dad. Leave other people’s image of perfect behind and realize the greatness that already lives in your family.

4. Do Something For You Do something special for yourself regularly: a weekly manicure, a monthly massage, a night off from cooking. Feeling better about yourself will make you a happier person and that happiness will spill over to others in your life.

5. Sleep More!

Go to sleep an hour earlier. And keep your phone charging in another room.

6. Eat Better!

Note we didn’t write “lose weight.” That’s pressure and not necessarily achievable (see the beginning of this article). Instead: a. Eat one fresh fruit a day. b. Steam or roast veggies for sides. Don’t make kugel or quiche for dinner or Shabbos.

They’re heavy and transfer that heaviness to you.

c. Drink more water. Even if it means you spend crazy amounts at Costco on Pellegrino so you feel glamorous while you sip. d. Learn your body’s sensitivities and follow your body’s cues. Do you blow up from three strands of spaghetti? Put it away for special occasions. e. Go unprocessed; eat lightly processed foods (flour, pasta) rarely. f. Eat healthy oils and natural fats. g. Eat home-cooked meals, but save prep time by buying pre-chopped fruits and veggies. h. Cut down on caffeine, and consider all caloric beverages to be consumed in moderation like alcohol (even milk!). i. Eat with friends, but only the kind of friends who enjoy your company. Real friends don’t need to be impressed by your menu.

7. Engage with Others And let others feel your joy.

People watch, don’t phone watch.

Talk, don’t text. Conversation flows and deepens relationships. Texts keep things terse and impersonal.

Send your child’s teacher a positive email once a month (and cc the principal). The teacher will feel appreciated and will share that positivity with your child.

Do the same for your boss or colleagues.

Resolve to stay positive on social media.

Keep your political views private. Ensure your web footprint makes you seem like a potentially good friend, not an indignant activist or arrogant braggart. Do not overshare about family feuds or friends who let you down.

Have a date night. Not even a glamorous one.

Enjoy time with your spouse or an old friend from camp. Starbucks is warm, nice and open late.

8. Organize Do not let organizing become stressful. Make it a celebration! Here’s how.

• Set dates for organizing. And separate your organization tasks into four-hour blocks.

Most people are too wiped out to spend more time. Allot a different day for each task (jewelry, cookbooks, shirts).

• Get out the supplies. Label big bags for “donate,” “tailor,” “dry clean,” “recycle.”

• Crank up the music, bring in refreshments, open the windows! Reframe organization days as celebration days. Believe it or not, closet organizers often show up with a bottle of wine to make the mood more festive.

• Discard liberally. And, remember, this is a guilt-free year. So give away what you can.

Arts and crafts projects that you haven’t tackled in months or years? The local preschool can use the yarn.

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• The KonMari method—all the rage in Japan and the U.S.—asks you to ask yourself about each item: Does it bring me joy? If it doesn’t, kiss the item goodbye. Keep clothes you love and that look good on you. Get rid of all the items you try on and reject in hopes that “well, when I lose ten pounds....” Don’t count on things coming back in style unless you truly feel joy when you look at them. The same goes for your vast mug collection. Do you love that mug? Does it bring you joy? If not, give it away. Toys your kids have outgrown? They’ll bring joy to othesr.

• Give away the baby clothes. And your kids’ old clothes. They live in bins and bags on expensive real estate in your closets and basement and attics. The elastic on pajamas falls apart, mysterious yellow stains materialize, and, after a season, clothes look over-laundered. And you know you’ll end up buying new when the new baby comes along.

• Keep a giveaway bag in your closet. As you notice a shirt that’s pilling or a uniform that’s seen its better days, put it in the bag. When the bag is full, call the local clothes pickup service. Yes, even stuff that’s really not-wearable (that ten-year-old men’s undershirt, for one) goes to textile recyclers who make those grungy shorts into fibers for insulation, carpet padding, and stuffing for toys.

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• Donation opportunities: ◊ H&M, Ann Taylor, Loft, Levi’s, and the North Face let shoppers bring in used clothes, shoes, and accessories—any brand—for discounts on purchases. They then reuse or recycle the donated items. ◊ Bring up to ten pairs of used shoes or sneakers into any Nike or Converse store.

They’ll take the shoes and make them into sports or playground surfacing or new Nike products. ◊ Do you have lots of designer digs? Consider reselling them through poshmark.com, therealreal.com, tradesy.com, or thredup. com.

9. Remember: It’s the Year of You Take a vacation.

If you have the cash, resolve to get a new stamp in your passport.

Or just staycation it: read a book, spend time with friends, enjoy a latte.

And, hey, you’ve already started toward your goal. You’re relaxing with a great magazine now!

Good for you! You’re already taking time for you….

It’s going to be a great year.

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An Israeli Operation You’ve Never Heard of – Until Now One of Shaarei Tzion’s neshamot

Influencing thousands of “at-risk” Israeli families every year, a remarkable educational outreach network drops the veil of anonymity.

An interview with Rabbi Yussie Lieber

Rabbi Yussie Lieber

TJH: Rabbi Lieber, we understand that you’ve taken on a commitment to work with an Israeli educational outreach organization that really no one knows about here in America. Why would you do that?

RYL: I discovered something so incredible, so unusual, so compelling that I had to find a way to get involved.

About four years ago, I spent a few short days in Israel seeing firsthand the operations of an organization that I frankly wasn’t so sure about – until I beheld it with my own eyes. Through the efforts of one laser-focused and unmeasurably committed individual, thousands of Israeli families that would have been lost to secularism were

living a Torah life. When I met him and saw what he and his team had built throughout the length and breadth of Israel, I knew I was in the presence of greatness. And I knew I had to help advance his work, known as the Shaarei Zion Institutions.

Forgive the unpolished question, but who is he and what makes him so great?

His name is Harav Shmuel Elishayov. He’s from the Bukharian community, but his reach is far beyond it.

His illustrious father z”l had charged him with the mission to renew the glory of Jewish pride through educating children in Israel who were being absorbed into the secular melting pot. Furthermore,

Maran HaRav Aharon Leib Shteinman shlit”a confirmed the mission and urged Harav Elishayov to build educational bridges to secure the Jewish future of these children and their families. By the way, Maran HaRav Shteinman shlit”a serves today as the president of the Shaarei Zion Institutions.

For several decades, Harav Elishayov rode a significant wave of success in the international diamond industry, so much so that he singlehandedly supported the entire network of daycare centers, schools, yeshivas and kollelim developed by Shaarei Zion. We’re talking about millions of dollars a year for 35 years, which he funded from his business activity.

How big a footprint of activity in Israel are we talking about?

All over. There are 35 nurseries and day care centers and 130 elementary schools classrooms nurturing some 2,000 young children in Torah values and ethics along with a solid general education. The secular education is at such a high level that parents who have nothing to do with Yiddishkeit chose to send their kids there. And then there are the children who come from disadvantaged homes, under the poverty line, some broken by parental neglect or abuse. This isn’t solely a Bukharian outreach, by the way. The students come from several communities – Ashkenazim, Bukharian,

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Maran Harav Shteinman and Harav Eliyashov exit Beit Gavriel in Queens

Sephardim, and Yemenites.

For the older children, Shaarei Zion supports 87 institutions with 400 educators and staff serving some 4,000 students. There’s a low student: teacher ratio so that each one gets maximum attention.

That attention extends beyond the classroom to the student’s family, as well. There are also 300 young men in four different yeshivot along with another 400 scholars in ten kollelim, with a number of them having been certified as rabbis and dayanim.

But it doesn’t stop there.

Shaarei Zion distributes 4,500 hot meals daily to students and needy families. Alumni of Shaarei Zion

a serious disruption.

How has that affected Harav Elishayov’s capacity to underwrite it?

Yes, the diamond market has plummeted and that’s affected a lot of people. And while there are hopes of a rebound, that could be several years away. It has impacted Harav Elishayov gravely.

He actually went to Maran HaRav Shteinman shlit”a recently to consult about closing some of the schools and having the students absorbed into other facilities. Maran HaRav Shteinman shlit”a, whom I mentioned serves as the president of Shaarei Zion, wouldn’t hear of it. He became visibly agitated and said that it was assur l’chalu-

He declared that Shaarei Zion was born out of a miracle, had existed till today by miracles and would indeed persist into the future through miracles. are looked after and get help with wedding and housing expenses.

Many people are aware that the diamond industry, like the oil industry, has experienced

tin – absolutely forbidden – to close any one of them. He declared that Shaarei Zion was born out of a miracle, had existed till today by miracles and would indeed persist into the future through miracles.

The time had come, however,

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Rav Elishayov learning at Yeshiva Gedolah

to identify new stakeholders to share in the mitzvah.

It’s gratifying to have the haskamah – the endorsement – of a great Torah sage. But how does that influence the cash flow?

(Laughs) It lends an aura of siyata d’shmaya – heavenly help – in our creative efforts. I’ll give you an architectural analogy. By broadening the base, we can increase the height. Of course, since I learned of this organization four years ago, I’ve stayed in touch. I’ve casually introduced a few people to the work. My experience has been that when people realize the magnitude of this outreach, they are generally stirred to some kind of action – small or large, it all makes a difference. That partly fueled my decision this past spring to take on responsibility as the U.S. director of development.

Has Harav Elishayov had any influence in America?

More than you can imagine, but again, no one really knows about it. One of the most significant centers of influence in Queens today is the Beit Gavriel Center.

It’s cutting-edge educational kiruv happening there in Flushing. Harav Elishayov provided the funds several

years ago to build it.

You know, I’ve given you a lot of facts so far because the numbers demonstrate that this is no small endeavor.

This is huge and hugely expensive and quite frankly, if it weren’t for the downturn in the global diamond market followed by Maran HaRav Shteinman shlit’a directive, we would not be sitting here talking.

Harav Elishayov would have continued to carry the load himself b’simcha rabbah ahd bli dai.

You said the organization looks after students even after they reach adulthood.

Yes, but it’s so much more than the organization. It’s him. It’s Harav Elishayov.

He’ll tell you otherwise. But the stories of how he cares for individual talmidim are legendary. I can’t begin to explain the logistics behind his chesed. But I can illustrate it with two or three short examples, if you’d like to hear.

Yes, of course.

So I remember the story of a 10-year old girl who was brought in to register in one of the schools. She couldn’t hold back her tears. During the intake interview, she confessed to being petrified of her father. She claimed he was an alcoholic and that he beat her, her siblings and even her mother. The staff of Shaarei

Zion went into DefCon 4, you could say. They mobilized the best talent available, including a social worker and local rabbis. Shaarei Zion literarily became their second home for a while. They not only accepted the young girl to their school; they took in the siblings, as well. The social services helped establish a safe home for them and made sure they had food and clothing for the holidays. Of course, everyone wants to know about the father. I can only say that the appropriate agencies cared for him. The children have done well and the mother has built a new life thanks to the systems of chesed that were activated

by Harav Elishayov. There is a poignant footnote to this case. When the young girl entered middle school, she told her morah that when she becomes a mother, she wants to send her children to Shaarei Zion because of how her family had been given a new life.

Her story dovetails into another one. There was a 13-year old boy that came to Shaarei Zion in Bnei Brak.

His mother and two sisters had moved to Israel from the UK after his father had died. Sadly, his mother is a deaf-mute. Their living and financial situation was hyper-distressed.

Shaarei Zion accepted all the children into their schools and

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A girls’ class in Yerushalayim

got the mother assistance in the home, due to her disability. When food and clothing was needed, it was provided freely. The young teen was found to have a serious eye condition. Shaarei Zion took him to one of Israel’s top ophthalmological professors for examination.

When special glasses were prescribed, they were provided. When he turned 21, he was learning in a Shaarei Zion yeshiva gedolah, where his own rebbe found him a shidduch. Rav Elishayov paid for the wedding and personally walked him down the aisle in place of his deceased father. Five children later, the young man is now himself a rebbe in a Shaarei Zion school, with all his children also learning under the aegis of the organization.

And if you’ll permit me, I’ll briefly mention one other case study. One of the current Shaarei Zion Roshei Kollel started out almost 30 years ago in a Shaarei Zion elementary school. The positive experiences he had in that environment not only changed his life. They are affecting every one of his talmidim today. He sees them as more than just his students. He sees them as his family. He visits their homes; he ensures they have what they need to raise happy, healthy children. He’s involved in their lives at a deep, personal and practi-

A boys’ class in Talpiyot

cal level. He models a way of life that says a rosh kollel is not just an academician.

He’s a talmid chacham, he’s a rebbe and confidante, he’s a friend – and most of all he’s the head of a family. He received this influence from Harav Elishayov.

Might these be exceptional stories? We know that sometimes an organization’s representative might posture the unusual cases to put a more positive spin on the overall perception of prospective donors.

There are thousands of stories like these three.

This exponential degree of chesed is only possible when an uncompromisingly committed person, such as Harav Elishayov is, steps up and digs deep from his own resources – and I’m not just talking about funding. He digs deep from the well of his own love, time, respect and care for every person Shaarei Zion helps. He would be very uncomfortable with our conversation about him today. He puts the spotlight on the organization and its accomplishments and of course the vision of his father. But frankly, he’s the human fuel driving the engine. And up until recently, he was the financial fuel.

You mentioned something offline about

chesed tourism? What is that?

It’s a program for people that get involved with a certain level of financial commitment to Shaarei Zion projects in Israel. We bring in a small group of these friends on a Monday morning to spend three days experiencing the work, visiting some of the early childhood centers, schools, yeshivot, kollelim, seeing the “learner to earner” vocational programs, meeting the staff that represent the heart and hands of Shaarei Zion. We also give them a free day on Thursday for personal touring or whatever they wish to do and then catch the late night flight back to arrive at JFK on a Friday morning.

What they will see and do is based on what I experienced four years ago and I promise you, it’s a life changer.

You said two key words there: get involved. It’s not an easy task you’ve taken on, given the shortfalls in charitable giving since 2008. What kind of involvement are you proposing?

You’re right. Anyone involved in fundraising today generally works two-three times as hard to achieve half the result of previous years.

My experience with Shaarei Zion has been intriguing, though. When someone sees the new ten-minute video,

looks through the projects book, and understands the kind of powerhouse we have in Harav Elishayov, there’s nearly always a positive response. Also today we see an impressive new movement of adopting kollelim throughout Israel and throughout

this very unusual work.

Hatzlacha rabbah to you, Rabbi Lieber, in taking this on. May you see only good things from your labor on behalf of the Shaarei Zion Institutions. And if a

When the young girl entered middle school, she told her morah that when she becomes a mother, she wants to send her children to Shaarei Zion because of how her family had been given a new life.

America. We suggest someone or several someones consider adopting a Shaarei Zion yeshiva, a grade school, an early childhood center, a class in a school or even an individual student. We’re talking about an educational outreach network with thousands of students plus their families. Up until now, few have known about it.

Because of Maran HaRav Shteinman’s mandate to Rav Elishayov to widen the participation base, many more will hear and b’ezrat Hashem, will choose to become spiritual shareholders in

business, a foundation or some individuals wish to make further inquiry?

First, thanks to you and this great publication for the opportunity to finally bring Shaarei Zion into the public domain. And finally, now that this work is out in the open, I believe the neshama of the Jewish people will come forth to undergird it. I can be reached 24/6 at 516-322-4449 or rylieber@ gmail.com. Our new ten minute video is available for viewing at: www.vimeo. com/149980205.

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A Centuries-Old Schism Deepens Shia Iran and Sunni Saudi Arabia Clash

By Nachum Soroka

T

here is no doubting the causes of the newest round of enmity in the Middle East when Iran and Saudi Arabia faced off this past week over the execution of a Shiite cleric in the Sunni led Saudi Kingdom.

While much of the unrest which plagues the Middle East may appear to be of a somewhat novel nature – the Arab Spring which created the ongoing civil war in Syria and the dangerous tug-ofwar in Egypt was a so-called cry for democracy which was backed by the U.S. State Department as a “new beginning” – the roots of the current Saudi-Iranian exchange of diplomatic blows spread back to the year 632.

This new clash, which for the most part has remained diplomatic, was the result of the Saudi’s execution of Sheikh Nimr al-Nimr, a popular – albeit outspoken –

Shiite leader in the country.

Nimr had been the leader of the Shiite minority in Saudi Arabia and had at times publicly called for the ousting of the Kingdom’s ruling family.

“From the day I was born and to this day, I’ve never felt safe or secure in this country,” Nimr said in a speech in 2011. “We are not loyal to other countries or authorities, nor are we loyal to this country. What is this country? The regime that oppresses me? The regime that steals my money, sheds my blood, and violates my honor?”

He was summarily executed on January 2 on charges of inciting violence along with 46 other people, most of them members of al Qaeda.

Iran is 83% Shia and since the founding of the Islamic Republic after the 1979 revolution has been one

of the few Shiite countries in the world. While Ayatollah Khomeini promised strong Sunni-Shia unity in the country at the time, the regime has been overtly discriminatory to Sunni Muslims. After Nimr’s killing, Iranians took to the streets in Iran, and while the police did try to quiet the protesters there, within hours the Saudi Embassy in Tehran was ransacked. “G-d’s hand of retaliation will grip the neck of Saudi politicians,” Iran’s supreme leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, vowed in comments reported on his official website.

A CENTURIES-OLD CONFLICT

Shia-Sunni sectarianism dates back over 1,400 years to the time of the founding of Islam and is based on whether the leader, or caliph, of Islam should be chosen based

on bloodline (the Shiite view – literally “Shiat Ali,” or the “party of Ali,” Mohammed’s son-in-law) or merit (the Sunni view). As with any conflict, the two sides eventually developed unique cultures and ideologies. Today, nearly 40% of Sunnis do not consider those of the Shiite persuasion to even be adherents of Islam. While it may be true that certain factions of Sunni Muslims are heavily extremist, such as the Wahhabis and its adherents, namely the anti-Shia Taliban, there exist extremist strains of Shia Islam, most notably ISIS and Hezbollah.

The 20th century imperialist Europeans, having no use in intra-religious conflict, carved up the Middle East and created disparate Shiite and Sunni regions.

What is today referred to as Iran, Iraq, Lebanon and Syria was designated as the Shia

area, and the Sunnis were given the rest of the Middle East. Recent political victories across the Middle East for Shia interests, particularly the Iranian Revolution in the 1970s and ouster of Saddam Hussein’s anti-Shia Ba’ath party in Iraq, have created a hostile atmosphere between the two groups in the region. It is said that the only country where both groups feel safe worshipping together is Azerbaijan.

The tense relations between Iran and Saudi Arabia are rooted in ideology, but the two countries have a strained past. Shia adherents in Saudi Arabia rioted for three days in 1979 following the Iranian Revolution and 17 Shiites were killed.

Saudi Arabia was one of the major backers of Iraq in the Iran-Iraq War which lasted close to eight years, and was a major sponsor of anti-Shia

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Protests after the execution

Muslim militants in Afghanistan at that time. Indeed, the Wahhabi House of Saud has adopted an ideology termed by Western Scholars as “Petro Islam,” which believes that its vast oil-driven wealth is G-d given for the purpose of bringing its brand of religion to the international forefront.

BATTLES BY PROXY

Saudi Arabia’s swift justice this week took much of the world by surprise, including the United Nations and the U.S., although many western officials were forced to comment in anonymity because of the sensitive diplomatic nature of the circumstances. But it is doubtful that the two countries were aware of how quickly the skirmish would escalate, with the Saudi Kingdom forcefully cutting ties with Iran and banishing all Iranian personnel from the country after Iranians set fire to the Saudi Embassy in Iran.

Bahrain, Sudan, and the UAE have also downgraded ties with Iran.

The two states are the two most influential Muslim countries in the volatile Middle East: While Shia Islam is by far the minority sect of the religion, with just 15% of Muslims worldwide adhering to the group, Shia Iran has a population of 78 million people, more than twice the population of Saudi Arabia. Moreover, Iran has benefitted from the clout held by Shia Hezbollah in Lebanon and the recent dominance of

The Ayatollah vowed divine revenge

Shia politicians in Iraq following the removal of Saddam Hussein. On the other hand, Sunni Saudi Arabia is more than twice the geographic area of Iran.

Until now the states have chosen to wage battle only by proxy: Iran is the strongest supporter of the embattled Shia-Alawite Bashar Al-Assad in Syria while the Saudis have been strengthening the rebel groups there.

In Yemen, the Saudi government has provided support to the Sunni government which is facing opposition from Houthi rebels. And for the past fifteen years the two countries have aided opposite interests in the morass that is Iraq.

A new row between the states is only more reason for them to increase their commitments to the proxy wars they are fighting throughout the region. This month, Secretary of State John Kerry is set to begin the first round of peace talks aimed at ending the civil war in Syria involving the Syrian government, Syrian rebels and a host of other countries, including Iran and Saudi Arabia.

“We’re obviously concerned this could blow up the process,” one senior Obama administration official admitted to the New York Times.

“But it’s too early to say what the impact could be.”

The Syrian peace talks may not be the only diplomatic nightmare for John Kerry to come out from this.

The Obama administration is looking to release many

of the sanctions placed on Iran and is in the middle of cementing its signature nuclear deal with Iran, of which Saudi Arabia was one of its most vocal opponents.

Iran already has been caught toeing the line of the nuclear deal by staging ballistic missile tests, and a recommitted Saudi Arabia opposing Iran will be another force to deal with in getting Kerry’s deal completed. Indeed, many in Iran believe that the execution was staged by the Saudis in order to derail the lifting of the sanctions. “Saudi Arabia killed Mr. al-Nimr at this sensitive juncture in time to widen the gap between Sunni and Shiite Muslims,” railed Fazel Meybodi, an Iranian cleric in Qum. “Unfortunately they had predicted our overreaction, and now they are using it against us to try to isolate Iran once again.”

SHOULD THE U.S. TAKE SIDES?

Both countries are heavyweights in the region’s number one resource: oil. Many predict that the Middle East may now be heading toward an oil pricing war, with Iran selling its product at absurdly low prices to spite its Sunni counterpart. But global oil prices are low enough already and the likelihood that Iran would hurt its own economic interests in order to hurt Saudi Arabia is unlikely, particularly because Saudi Arabia is the more financially sound country and would suffer less from

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U.S. and Israeli flags are burned in front of the Saudi Arabian Embassy in Tehran

an Iranian pricing offensive than Iran itself would.

Saudi Arabia has coasts on the Red Sea and the Persian Gulf. That, along with its massive oil reserves, has made it a strategic ally for the U.S. since the founding of the Kingdom in 1932. The divisive Wahhabism preached in Saudi Arabia had been something the U.S. chose to ignore. But the 9/11 attacks, which were caused by Sunni terrorists who were cultivated in Saudi Arabia, added wrinkles to the relationship. Then, about ten years ago, after large Shia gains in post-Saddam Iraq, the Bush administration shifted back to its unwavering support of Sunni countries and created a strategy which was aimed at containing Iranian – and by extension, all Shia interests – in the Middle East, fearing that a powerful Iran and Shia coalition would fuel anti-Western sentiment in the region.

It may be argued that this new strategy posed by the Bush administration of openly backing Sunnis while opposing Shiite governments has led to the awful state of relations among the Muslim groups. At the time, Martin Indyk, a senior State Department official in the Clinton Administration who also served as Ambassador to Israel, said that because the U.S. was picking sides, “the Middle East is heading into a serious Sunni-Shiite Cold War.” If the U.S. learned anything from its debacle in Iraq, it should have been that

order is preferential to chaos in the Middle East, regardless of whether the order comes from governments which are hostile to Western interests. Perhaps this is the reasoning behind the Obama administration’s embrace of the more-than-imperfect Rouhani government in Iran.

Still, the relationship between the Saudis and the U.S. continues to gain complexity. The Saudis have been strong supporters of groups opposing the U.S.-backed Arab Spring. In Egypt, fearing that a successful Muslim Brotherhood there would threaten the royal family’s leadership in Saudi Arabia, the Saudis successfully backed the military coup which overthrew the Islamists installed by the U.S. The two countries have managed to find common ground with each other in the battle against ISIS, which is Shia and is quickly filling the void left by the Saudi-backed coup on the Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt.

All this seems to be leading up to the perfect storm in 2016. The situation in the Middle East continues to become more convoluted from within and without. There are civil wars, battling terrorist groups and nuclear arms races all intricately connected to one another.

The specific issues are 2016 problems, but they all began some 1,400 years ago over an issue that will forever withstand the test of time: power.

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JANUARY 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Forgotten Her es

The Names of our Nation’s Ships

By Avi Heiligman

The USS Hyman Rickover, named after one of the few Jewish admirals in Navy history

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arships can be menacing not only by the firepower they carry but also in their names. (Since the U.S. Navy was born in 1775, six different cities have claimed to be the birthplace of the navy.) The naming of ships typically follows an established system like names or places. However, with tens of thousands of commissioned ships in their history (6,500 served in the American Navy alone) some of names given require an explanation.

Names like the USS Comstock, USS Cocopa and the USS Libra all have interesting backgrounds along with ships named after Jews in American history.

Traditionally warships follow a naming system that for some categories was passed by Congress as law.

Battleships are named for states, cruisers for cities, and destroyers were named after heroes in the armed forces. As more types of ships came into existence, the system expanded to include other names. Sub-

marines are named after fish and sea mammals, and colliers – bulk cargo ships – are named after mythical creatures. Aircraft carriers were given names after presidents, admirals, famous politicians and battles. As is typical with the military, these were just guidelines and many ship names have other origins.

The first ships in the navy were ordered by George Washington and given the names inspired by the U.S. Constitution. It was no surprise that the first ship in the navy was named the USS Constitution with the subsequent five named United States, President, Congress, Constellation and the Chesapeake. The original Constitution is still in active service and is used mainly in ceremonies with a crew of 60 U.S. Navy sailors.

The USS Cocopa was a WWII ocean tug named after a Native American tribe from Arizona. In 1978 it was transferred to Mexico and is believed to still be in active service. The Cocopa is just

The USS Kamehameha

one of many ships named after a Native American tribe.

Another ocean tug named after a Native American tribe was the USS Chickasaw. A cargo/ammunition ship in 2006 was named the USNS Sacagawea after the Native American woman who greatly aided the famous explorers Lewis and Clark.

Some ships were named with such foresight that it makes one scratch their head. The USS Vindicator was a Civil War steamer that apparently was so popular with the Coast Guard that they named a surveillance ship in 1984 after the original Vindicator. The USS Libra, an armed cargo ship, was named after the constellation and served with distinction during WWII. Submarines came into play during WWI and were called by their class designation and hull number. Some were given actual names of fish which were reused for the fleet class submarines of WWII. Before WWI there a

few experimental submarines that actually worked (although many test examples sank). The USS Turtle was the world’s first combat sub and fought during the Revolutionary War. The USS Alligator and the interestingly-named Intelligent Whale were active during the Civil War. The USS Volador was the last fleet submarine launched in 1946 and was named after a Mexican ritual dance that involves a pole. The USS Diablo – it is actually named after a small fish – was loaned to the Pakistani Navy after twenty years of service with the American Navy. Other interesting WWII submarine names include the USS Quillback, USS Wolffish, USS Macabi and the USS Sea Panther. Sometimes the one tusked narwhal is called a sea unicorn which gave rise to the USS Unicorn which was only completed after WWII ended.

However, the most interesting name given to an American submarine was the USS Kamehameha. It was

named after the first king of Hawaii who lived in the latter half of the 18th century. The nuclear submarine’s motto was in Hawaiian and meant “go forth and conquer.” The only other American ship named after a monarch was the Alfred, also known as the Black Prince. The ship was part of the Continental Navy before being captured by the British.

Controversy has always been a part of the American military and some ships have been given names that have been retired. Some Confederate soldiers and sailors have had American ships named after them including Robert E. Lee and the first man to sink a ship in a submarine, George Dixon.

It was ironic that a person who was responsible for sinking an enemy ship was honored by the very enemy that he was trying to destroy! Not all presidents’ names will grace the sides of a carrier. The USS Lyndon B. Johnson is a destroyer as many believe that the reason for the downgrade in the navy is because the navy suffered several

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

disasters during his presidency.

During WWII the military was commissioning ships by the thousands and began to run out of names especially for cargo ships called Liberty Ships. Therefore, two Liberty ships were named after Jewish labor leaders, Morris Feinstone and Abraham Rosenberg.

The USS Levy was a destroyer escort named for Commodore Uriah P. Levy who outlawed flogging in the U.S. Navy. One of the newest nuclear submarines in the U.S. Navy is the USS Hyman Rickover (SSN-795). Hyman Rickover, one of the few Jewish admirals in navy history, is considered the father of the nuclear navy and this submarine will be the second nuclear sub named after the longest serving naval officer in history (63 years active in the navy). Tony Stein was

The USS Levy was named for Commodore Uriah P. Levy

a marine who received the Medal of Honor for his actions against Japanese pillboxes on Iwo Jima. He was killed on the island ten days after his heroics and the navy named a frigate in his honor.

Sailors have plenty of time to think onboard ships and have come up with an array of nicknames for ships.

As most sailors couldn’t pro-

The first ship in the navy, the USS Constitution

nounce the name USS Kamehameha they called her the Kami-Ha-Ha. Another ship with a tough name to pronounce was the carrier USS Oriskany. Named for a Revolutionary War battle, the ship was nicknamed the Mighty O. The USS Stein, named for Tony Stein, was affectionately called The Stain by her crew. For some strange rea-

son, a WWII landing ship was given the name USS Germantown (it was named after a Revolutionary War battle but someone should have enough sense to realize that it wasn’t such a good idea) which of course became a prime target for nicknames like the Germanclown. The USS Houston’s nickname was the Galloping Ghost of

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the Java Coast because she managed to escape damage during the disastrous Battle of the Java Sea. There are many more interesting points, facts and stories about the naming of ships. However, due to the limit of time and space we are going to have to leave it here for now. The name of a ship give her character for the long journey in defense of her country and often it is named for a person or place that has shown tremendous dedication for patriotic causes.

Avi Heiligman is a weekly contributor to The Jewish Home.

He welcomes your comments and suggestions for future columns and can be reached at aviheiligman@gmail.com.

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JANUARY 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Dr. Deb

Due Diligence

By Deb Hirschhorn, Ph.D.

Part II Last week, I addressed the need for people in the dating scene to look very closely at their prospective shidduch to be certain that flaws are ones that the dater could live with.

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iven that we all have flaws – this dater included – the need is to find out what, exactly, they are. Some flaws are very idiosyncratic. Messiness, for example, might be a no-big-deal issue for one person and impossible to deal with to another.

On the other hand, there are flaws that you don’t ever want in your life such as a temper, selfishness, inconsideration, seeing the bad in others instead of the good, and making false accusations, just to name a small number.

I made a point of saying that when we do come across a case of bad middos, however small the incident, we should not minimize it because if that is the person’s middah, then it will show up again in larger, more important, situations.

You might not like this quest for problems. I don’t blame you. But if the problem exists, you will surely find and experience it in your marriage, so it is best routed out now, before you’re married.

On that subject, I’d like to mention an interesting dialogue between the Navidater column in this paper and a medical doctor who wrote a

letter to the Editor. A young, recently married woman wrote to the Navidaters explaining that recently her husband had become dominating.

Instead of discussing things with her, he gave her orders.

The panel replied with various words of caution about what this could mean and the definite need to deal with it, whether through therapy, or at least a talk with the chassan.

The letter writer was very upset by the seriousness with which the Navidater panel had responded to the young woman, one person even wondering whether the sudden change in personality of the chassan could be a sign of a medical problem or mental illness. He was worried that the panel was rattling the questioner too much and could be responsible for breaking up the marriage.

I am sympathetic to the doctor’s concerns. Surely, no one wants to destroy what could become a beautiful marriage.

On the other hand, my experience is that couples – coming from the same place as the doctor of wanting to smooth ruffled feathers – may grow very alienated from one another when such things as this woman described continue without intervention over a period of many years.

It’s better to sound alarm bells and take a look at what could be going on than to minimize behavior that hurts others. And I understand that the doctor would not want to do that, either. He states in his letter that the chassan’s behavior was terrible.

So I think that he and the Navidaters were both saying the same thing: The behavior was bad, too bad to sweep under the rug, and should be addressed. The difference was in

the speculation by all parties by just how bad the root of the problem was.

Well, I would rather worry that it is worse than I think it is, recommend therapy, and then find out later that it was no big deal before the marriage than not worry while it festers and poisons the marriage afterwards. I guess that is one of the outcomes of being a Marriage & Family Therapist for so many years.

If, on the other hand, Malka is the sort of person who feels so much more alive and happy when she and her friends have deep, heart-to-heart talks, then this could be a problem in her marriage. It may not be. It could be that Micha only runs from negative emotions but is happy with positive ones.

And of course there is the question of whether Malka will be okay

How much of this is she going to bring into the new family she and Binyamin are creating?

In my last article, I promised to focus on each of the bullet points that I had listed so as to see the implications of that behavior for marriage.

DOES ANYONE IN THE FAMILY HAVE A TEMPER?

Let us assume that Micha and Malka are considering marriage.

Neither one of them has a temper.

Then we are all right to go, right? Not necessarily.

If, for instance, Micha’s father has a temper and this has caused Micha to run away from all expressions of emotion, then Malka needs to know this. If she is herself a very shy person who is uncomfortable with too much emotional intensity, then it is most likely a great shidduch.

with a father-in-law with a temper.

Again, that needs to be out on the table. If the newlyweds move far, far away, it probably won’t matter. If they’re around the corner, it matters.

The point of this made-up scenario is simply that the presence of a temper in the family has implications which cannot be ignored.

HAS ANYONE IN THE FAMILY EVER SAID THAT ANOTHER MEMBER OF THE FAMILY HURT THEIR FEELINGS FREQUENTLY?

Let us assume that Binyamin and Bracha are dating and it comes to light that Bracha and her older sister have not gotten along. A lack of shalom in a family has very big impli-

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

cations. For one thing, it means the parents were unable to raise the children in a way that would engender compassion, kindness, and mutual respect.

That, in turn, means that Bracha herself may not know how to raise her own children with the right middos. In addition, Bracha was either a victim or a victimizer (or both) in her relationship with her sister. How much of this is she going to bring into the new family she and Binyamin are creating?

Binyamin has to see for himself how this affects Bracha and in turn how it will affect him. He may be used to it; he and his brother may have had the same problem. He and Bracha may have figured out a way to be better than the people in their families of origin. Or not.

IS ANYONE ON MEDICATION FOR DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, OR MENTAL ILLNESS?

As you may know from previous

articles, I don’t “believe” in mental illness. Nevertheless, if someone has that diagnosis, it is a sign of potential difficulty in a new marriage. Just how anxious or depressed is the individual? Has he been hospitalized for it? Have there been suicide attempts?

Is this something in the family?

Who else may have had similar problems?

When a person reacts to circumstances in a way that we might not expect, it becomes disturbing and confusing to the other member of the couple.

Susan has always been anxious and Steven loves her nevertheless.

But he is starting to get annoyed with the fact that she won’t let her nineyear-old daughter take a bath unsupervised for fear something might “happen” to her.

If Steven could foresee this before the marriage, he might want to know if Susan is also receiving therapy to overcome her anxiety, and if so, what kind of therapy it is. He would want to inquire whether it is merely

insight-based (so as to understand herself better and why this happened to her) or action-based (to change how she reacts).

ARE THERE MEDICAL ILLNESSES IN THE FAMILY?

Some medical problems don’t matter much, but others do. It is important to understand the level of stress on the partner and on the relationship that medical problems have. There is nothing wrong with marrying someone with medical issues, but each person must be fully aware of its impact on daily life.

IF THIS WILL BE A SECOND MARRIAGE, HOW ARE THE CHILDREN DOING? WHAT ARE THEIR NEEDS?

Second marriages are a topic unto themselves. Furthermore, children who warmly welcome the new partner for their parent may feel quite differently when it comes to fi-

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nances, who goes where for yom tov, and having to interact or integrate with half-siblings. Suffice it to say, love is not enough. But we will leave the details of this topic for another article.

I’m sorry if I alarmed anyone. I can hear someone saying, “If it was up to you, no one would get married!”

Baruch Hashem, it is not up to me. But I often think that the pain of a bad marriage might be worse than living alone. I’m not sure of that; it’s just a “maybe.”

Dr. Deb Hirschhorn is a Marriage & Family Therapist and best-selling author of The Healing Is Mutual: Marriage Empowerment Tools to Rebuild Trust and Respect—Together. Attend the Food For Thought lectures at Waffelino Restaurant at 310 Central Avenue in Cedarhurst on Tuesdays at 9:45 AM. Any questions, call 646-54-DRDEB or check out her website at http://drdeb.com. All stories in Dr. Deb’s articles are fabricated. See Dr. Deb on TorahAnytime.com.

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JANUARY 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Health & F tness

The #1 New Year’s Resolution

By Cindy Weinberger MS, RD, CDN

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ith the start of 2016, many of us have our New Year’s resolutions lined up.

According to Statistic Brain Research Institute, the #1 New Year’s resolution for 2016 is to lose weight. Apparently, many of us have weight loss at the top of our to- do list. The question is: do we actually go ahead and pursue our ambitious resolution? Let’s make a real change this year and try to actually stick with our resolution for 2016 and knock off those unwanted pounds.

So what’s the secret?

What’s the best way to lose weight and keep it off? The unwanted truth is that crash diets are not ideal. Yes, crash diets induce weight loss initially, but the moment one terminates the diet, all the weight – plus more – comes right back. The best way to lose weight and keep it off is to make lifestyle changes. One must change the way they shop, change the way they prepare food, and change dietary habits. A combination of all of these factors will help you keep to a long-lasting lifestyle of healthy eating habits which promotes weight loss.

The trick to weight loss is to take in less calories than you are letting out.

If somebody usually consumes 2,500 calories daily, and then suddenly only starts consuming 1,500 calories, the pounds will drop off – even if these 1,500 calories are coming only from cookies and cake. The point is that calories in must be less than calories out. However, eating only 1,500 calories of cookies and cake is usually not the case. We want to eat nutritionally dense foods that are low in calories so that we can pack as much food as possible into a calorically restricted diet. Women trying to lose weight should consume an estimated average of 1,4001,600 calories a day. Men trying to lose weight should consume an estimated average of 1,600-1,800 calories.

So how do we create the optimal nutritionally dense menu that falls within the caloric range and doesn’t leave us feeling hungry?

First and foremost, every diet must come hand in hand with an exercise plan.

Physical activity is vital in regulating our body’s metabolism, cardiac function,

mood enhancing, and burning calories. This way, whatever calories we overeat, the exercise will compensate for it. Physical activity should include at least 20-30 minutes of exercise 3-4 times per week for finest results.

Breakfast is famous for being the most important meal of the day. Starting off your day with a balanced breakfast helps curb your appetite for the day, reduce sugar cravings, and regulate your metabolism. Breakfast should consist of a protein, starch, fruits and/or vegetables. Some examples include: eggs with toast, high fiber cereal with skim milk, fruit smoothie, and cottage cheese/yogurt with fruit.

Any combination of low fat dairy product, protein, starch, fruit/vegetable is a great well-nourished way to start off the day.

Don’t wait until lunch time to break out your next meal. This time span can last for hours. Going more than 3 hours without eating causes a dip in blood sugar, which leaves you very hungry. Hunger is your worst enemy. It causes one to lose control and eat the first thing in sight which may

not be the best choice. For this reason, in between every meal, one should have a snack. A snack should be a well- balanced protein or starch with fruits or vegetables. Great snack ideas include yogurt with fruit, vegetables with peanut butter or chummus, granola bars, fruit smoothies, and nuts.

Lunch and dinner meals should consist of protein, starch and vegetables. According to My Plate, half of your plate should consist of protein and whole grains, while the other half should be fruits and vegetables.

This nutritional, well-balanced meal should leave you satisfied and well-nourished.

Keep in mind when preparing meals that frying, sautéing, and heavy sauces should be kept to a minimum. Ideal cooking methods are roasting, grilling, baking, boiling, and broiling. When flavoring foods, choose spices and herbs, as opposed to dressings and sauces. Dressings and sauces tend to be high in sugar and calories. These products can easily be substituted for a healthier option.

Don’t forget to drink

plenty of fluids throughout the day. Water is the healthiest drink; it helps keep us hydrated, maintains healthy skin and has no calories. Filling up on water will cause you to be less hungry and will reduce cravings.

Play around with your menus to find a suitable meal plan that honors your preferences. Keep these tips at your fingertips, and hopefully we can make this year’s resolution become a reality.

Cindy Weinberger MS, RD, CDN, is a Master’s level Registered Dietitian and Certified Dietitian-Nutritionist. She graduated CUNY Brooklyn College receiving a Bachelor’s in Science and Master’s degree in Nutrition and Food Sciences. Her Dietetic Internship was completed under Brooklyn College primarily in Ditmas Park Care Center and Boro Park Center where she developed clinical and education skills to treat patients with comprehensive nutrition care.

She is currently a dietitian at Boro Park Center and a private nutrition consultant. She can be reached at CindyWeinberger1@ gmail.com.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

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Health & F tness

No Bumpers, Please

By Hylton Lightman, MD, DCH (SA), FAAP

They’re pretty.

They’re fun.

They enhance the look of your baby’s room. Yet I respectfully request that you refrain from indulging in crib bumpers, also known as “bumper pads” used in infants’ cribs.

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rue confession: All seven Lightman children luxuriated in cribs festooned with bumpers. The youngest Lightman was born in 2003, two years before the 2005 recommendation of the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) against bumpers.

Cleaning the attic recently, my wife found and destroyed the beloved bumpers and bagged them for their final destination – the dump.

There’s no way we would endanger other babies.

Intuitively, crib bumpers feel like a way to protect babies from injuries. In reality, a safe crib without bumpers is the best way to go because bumpers increase the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).

A BRIEF HISTORY

1992: AAP recommends

babies sleep on their backs By way of background, in 1992 the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) released guidelines that all babies be placed on their backs to sleep. The result: Deaths from SIDS decreased. Such deaths have plateaued in recent years, while sleep-related deaths from other causes including suffocation, entrapment and asphyxia have increased.

2005: AAP recommends against the use of crib bumpers The AAP’s updated recommendations expanded the guidelines on safe sleep and SIDS prevention for babies. The guidelines state that crib bumpers carry a potential risk of suffocation, strangulation or entrapment, because infants lack the motor skills or strength to turn their heads should they roll into something that obstructs their breathing.

Dr. Rachel Moon of the Children’s National Medical Center in Washington, DC, and chairperson of the AAP SIDS Task Force explains that in 2005 there were concerns about crib bumpers but not much evidence of a real problem.

“Since then,” Dr. Moon says, “there have been some published studies looking at bumper pads, and we concluded that if there’s no reason for them to be in the crib, it’s better to just have

them out of there, particularly in light of the deaths that have been reported, that have been associated with the bumper pads.”

2007: CPSC concludes bumpers can cause death In the September 2007 issue of the Journal of Pediatrics, results from a study of crib and bassinet bumpers were announced.

Based on information from a Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) conducted from 1985-2005, the study showed reports from medical examiners and coroners of 27 accidental deaths of children ages 1 month to 2 years. These deaths were attributed to suffocation because babies were wedged against a padded bumper or strangled by a bumper tie around the neck. This study stated, “These findings suggest that crib and bassinet bumpers are dangerous…

Because bumpers can cause death, we conclude that they should not be used.”

2011: CPSC and FDA warns parents about infant sleep positioners Numerous reports by news agencies and consumer advocates against bumpers followed, including a January 2011 article in the Chicago Tribune that delineated the dangers of bumpers. The same article also reported that since 2008 the federally funded National Center for Child Death Re-

view received 14 reports of infant suffocation in which a bumper was relevant in the death.

In response, the Juvenile Products Manufacturing Association (JPMA) asserted that other factors like babies sleeping on their stomachs or a crib filled with pillows might have been a factor in those deaths instead of the bumpers. In reaction to this and other news reports and consumer advocates, the CPSC announced it would take a closer look at crib bumpers.

Subsequently, both the CPSC and the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) warned parents of the dangers of infant sleep positioners, some of which had been marketed to reduce the risk of SIDS, but had in fact caused up to a dozen suffocation deaths of babies in about as many years.

WITH THESE FACTS, WHY ARE MANY PARENTS STILL USING BUMPERS?

Bumpers were first designed to cover the space between crib slats so babies couldn’t fall out or get their heads, arms or legs stuck between the bars.

Regulations changed in the 1970s and now slats can be no more than 2-3/8 inches apart. Safety-wise, while it is possible for a baby to get an arm or a leg stuck be-

tween crib slats, it’s virtually impossible to break a limb by doing so: The experience will be uncomfortable and upsetting until a caregiver arrives, but it will not life-threatening.

Further, parents buy bumpers because they think they’re supposed to.

Walk into most baby furniture stores and you’ll see shelves laden with attractive bedding for the crib – and many are sets which come with bumpers. After all, a bumper set lends the crib a finished look and that can be hard to resist.

The best way for a baby to sleep is on his/her back alone in a crib that has a fitted sheet on the mattress.

There should be no soft objects or loose bedding, as they pose hazards.

I urge you put the bumpers in the garbage or leave them on the stores’ shelves.

Knowing that your baby sleeps on his/her back in a crib with a fitted sheet only should give you the peace of mind to sleep well at night.

Dr. Hylton Lightman is a pediatrician and Medical Director of Total Family Care of the 5 Towns and Rockaway PC. He can be reached at www.totalfamilycaremd.com, on Instagram at #lightmanpeds or visit him on Facebook.

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JANUARY 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Dating Dialogue

What Would You Do If… Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LMSW of The Navidaters

Disclaimer: This column is not intended to diagnose or otherwise offer resolutions to any questions. Our intention is not to offer any definitive conclusions to any particular question, but to offer areas of exploration for the author and reader. Due to the nature of the column receiving only a short snapshot of an issue, without the benefit of an actual discussion, the panel’s role is to offer a range of possibilities. We hope to open up meaningful dialogue and individual exploration.

I’ve been engaged now for about six weeks.

Our wedding is approximately three months away. My parents were against rushing into a wedding date and though I was upset about the long wait initially, right now I’m feeling kind of relieved because I think I have a lot to sort out before getting married.

My chosson (fiancé) Mark is six years older than me. I’m 22 and he’s 28. To begin with, I think from the start I kind of looked up to him. (Plus he’s nearly a foot taller than me – so I literally looked up to him as well!) He’s already set up in his profession, whereas I still have to finish my schooling. He seems to have it “together” more so than me.

I’m the youngest in my family so I’m probably used to being taken care of by all of my older siblings along with my parents and have grown accustomed to being in that role. I’ve always liked being the baby.

I’m telling you all of this because I think it explains a lot about

Dear Navidaters,

Mark’s behavior and how we fell into this pattern. Basically, Mark has all the answers. If I question him about something, he glides through an answer, which doesn’t always make so much sense to me, and keeps going, never really giving me time to even follow his train of thought or to respond. Does this make any sense to you? Lately, though, I’ve been pushing back a little, trying to fully understand his decisions and am realizing that he’s just placating me and not truly respecting my need to get on board with him.

I’ve been questioning him more and more lately. Things like, “Why didn’t you pick up your phone last night when I tried reaching you,” or “You told me you were under the weather last Tuesday when you cancelled dinner, but my cousin saw you out.” He always has a quick excuse and I’ve been feeling very uncomfortable with his answers lately. What I’m starting to realize is that I don’t even trust him at this point. Because he’s such a quick and smooth talker, it’s taken me time to finally get that I’m not sure I can necessarily believe everything he tells me.

I feel like I’ve helped to create this problem, just going along with him so happily in the past. But as the wedding date is starting to feel real, I’m getting nervous. What do you suggest I do at this late date?

The Panel The Rebbetzin Rebbetzin Faigie Horowitz, M.S.

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ou are demonstrating a lot of self-awareness in this query.

Obviously, you have looked at yourself, not just Mark. You outline differences in age, career development and family placement. And you are concluding that even though you may have been infantilized because you were the youngest in your family and

did allow him to take the lead, there are serious problems in this relationship.

I agree. There are some big red flags popping up here. Do not blame your past and your earlier responses.

There is a grave trust issue here that

is probably not rectifiable. If he is not telling the truth about his whereabouts, gives you the brush-off, and does not hear you or ask for your input, it is obvious that he is not ready to be a partner in a relationship.

You are observant as well as self-

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016 The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

aware. You have paid attention to communication, the lack thereof, and his responses. This is not going to be an equal relationship ever. And it seems that your parents figured some of this out a while earlier. You probably were dazzled by the smooth talking accomplished professional.

But you were not duped. You have figured out that something is very wrong.

Trust yourself and move on to the next step: break up. But do so with forthrightness.

You may want to practice what you want to tell him so that he doesn’t push you around once you have made your decision.

Normally, I would suggest getting some professional support in such a situation. This time I feel it is not necessary. You have experienced, you have noticed, you have felt, you have concluded, and now you will act. This whole process has been a maturing one for you on many levels. You have grown throughout the course of the dating and engagement. Endorse yourself and congratulate yourself on your healthy radar.

Say goodbye to an unhealthy relationship.

Then go ahead and get some help to continue your growth in assertiveness and communication.

ner he can take care of (as you were hoping); he may have been seeking a young, adoring wife he could more easily manipulate with his sweet talk and glib manners. Marriage counselors will attest that marriage does not transform lying chassanim (fiancés) into doting, honest husbands.

So my dear, no matter how naïve and inexperienced you think you are, trust your instincts. And forgive yourself.

Turn to your parents. If they are as astute as I think they are (they opposed “rushing into a wedding date”), they will not be surprised to hear about your qualms over your chosson. Be frank. Be specific – about the inconsistencies in his alibis and about his smooth-talking ways.

They may have anticipated your disappointment, but as wise parents, kept their counsel in the hope you would come to your own conclusions.

Breaking an engagement is never an easy resolution; it’s important that you explore your decision – to marry or not – in a calm, systematic manner together with your parents and perhaps an experienced rav or professional counselor.

The Mother

Rochel Chafetz, Educator/Mentor

Sarah Schwartz Schreiber, PA

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A

nxiety. Conflict. Insecurity.

Fear. Your letter conveys a gamut of emotions. Not surprising. You are understandably anxious about marrying Mark (the taller, older, professional man) who has all the answers to any and all of your questions (seriously?). You feel conflicted (perhaps, betrayed) when you caught him lying on several occasions. You rationalize that you chose Mark because, as the baby of the family, you enjoy being taken care of. Understandable, but Mark was not auditioning for the role of Big Brother.

While you were attracted to Mark’s (pseudo-)sophistication, he was attracted to your innocence and youth. Unfortunately, his motivation may not have been to find a part-

The Dating Mentor

he first issue we need to address is the fact that you have always liked being the baby and have become accustomed to being in that role. I think you need to take stock of that attitude. It may work for you now but as you grow into yourself, you will realize that it is not a healthy option for a grown married woman and mom. I think you are actually already starting to come to this conclusion on your own. You say that when you ask Mark a question, he glides right through the answer and it doesn’t make much sense to you but you let it go. That is not going to last. That will start gnawing at you more and more because eventually your internal self will start feeling stifled and not heard and that will cause much emotional conflict within. So it’s actually a really good thing

When you feel secure in who you are and what your needs are, you will have a better understanding regarding what does and does not feel right in a relationship.

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and your abilities and your potential.

When you feel secure in who you are and what your needs are, you will have a better understanding regarding what does and does not feel right in a relationship.

Now is the time to seek someone who can help you in this important journey so that you will be able to choose a young man who will validate and respect your questions and in whom you can trust to care of you in a loving way. Hatzlacha.

The Single Irit Moshe (pen name)

that all of these issues and feelings of doubt are beginning to surface now – before you get married. I am not even so sure you should go through with this. You say that you are feeling very uncomfortable with his answers and you don’t even trust him lately. Frankly, this is a no brainer.

You are very fortunate that you are having these realizations now rather than later.

You have a choice to make. You can either confront him on these issues either yourself or with a therapist who deals with pre-marital therapy. But from the tone of the letter, the fact that you are not sure you trust him is bothersome to me.

I’m wondering if you should end this and begin to focus on working on yourself. Most people go into a marriage looking for the same comfortable relationship they were used to at home – be it abuse or control or lack thereof. In your case, you are used to being cared for like a baby. If you don’t want that pattern to continue, you have to start working on resolving your issue now.

It’s important to understand that it’s OK for someone to take care of you but it’s not OK to not have a voice or an opinion or to be with someone who controls every move you make.

It’s not OK for you to ask a question only to have it be ignored or pushed under the rug or viewed as dumb or not important. Always remember that you are created with godliness and whatever was given to you is good. You have to believe in yourself

I

t sounds like the euphoric feeling of being in a relationship with “a salesman” personality has finally worn off and your instincts are screaming at you to question things.

A man who cherishes you would make sure you feel safe and secure in your relationship with him and not make you feel like you need to probe into his whereabouts. He would want you to be on the same train of thought as him, and he would certainly have the patience and understanding to aide you to be on the same page as himself, whether or not you have your life in order as much as he does. If this man is exhibiting these behaviors now and you’ve already caught him fibbing – my recommendation is to cancel the engagement and run for the hills away from this man!

I am glad your instincts finally kicked in and you are seeking advice, though your lack of worldliness and confidence is somewhat concerning to me. I suggest you seek out a dating coach to help you with your dating as you move forward, assisting you in building up your confidence and believing in your gut instincts.

The goal of having a dating coach is to help you recognize quality vs. none-quality men; recognizing red flags and how to maneuver appropriately away from them, thereby avoiding heartache and broken engagements; and finally, enabling you to ultimately find a healthy, loving relationship, in which you feel cherished, iy”H soon.

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Pulling It All Together The Navidaters Dating and Relationship Coaches and Therapists

H

i there, You express in your letter to the panel a sense of relief you feel knowing you have some time to sort through your thoughts and feelings in order to plan your next move. This is a wonderful thing because generally speaking we make our best decisions when we are not feeling pressured or overwhelmed.

Your sense of relief can be used as a launching pad from which you will make any decisions.

The panel has shared their opinions about your situation. Rebbetzin Horowitz sees red flags and thinks you will never feel like Mark’s equal.

Sarah Schwartz Schreiber writes about the cyclical nature of your relationship, pointing out your roles in the relationship dynamic. She suggests speaking to someone before making any decision, one way or the other. Rochel Chafetz hones in on the lack of trust in the relationship while Irit Moshe suggests running for the hills because of the lack of honesty and outright fibbing.

The truth is no one can tell you what to do. At the end of the day, this is a decision that you will have to make. You have a good amount of awareness into the qualities you possess that attracted you to Mark.

Maybe because you are the baby and were actively babied by the family you have always been comfortable taking direction and a backseat to someone who will run the show.

There is a certain amount of comfort and security in not having to make decisions or deal with uncomfortable circumstances. Many women, and some men, are quite comfortable having a strong partner run the show.

Along comes Mark, an older, suc-

cessful guy who is the perfect candidate to take the wheel. And so there you are comfortably sleeping in the backseat, until you start to feel some bumps and short stops that wake you from your slumber.

You open your eyes, stretch and tell him, “Hey! Back here! Why are you driving like that? Can you go slower? Make the next left! What are you doing?” His response is, “Nah, I’ll just keep on driving how I have always driven. You’re not really awake anyway.”

Every couple has their own unique pattern of interaction and communication and we are all responsible for the behaviors, thoughts and feelings we bring to the relationship. Based on your description of what you were looking for in a mate, you were not going to attract a man who was looking for his equal, someone to share life’s responsibilities with, to support him in his time of need and be his strength when he was down and out. You were looking for someone who would take care of you and perhaps Mark was looking for someone he could take care of (or something else, but we don’t know that for sure).

When we become aware of our own thoughts and behaviors and how we sometimes invite certain relationships into our lives, we then become empowered to make changes … if we want to. I bring this up because while Mark might be behaving brutishly, it is also a possibility that he is behaving in the way you have subliminally taught him/allowed him to behave. I think it might be wise to slow this down and figure out what is really going on in couple’s therapy.

This decision and the process of

therapy can’t be a race against the clock. Your therapy could be done in two or three sessions, or you may need a few months. If you think your relationship is worth saving, or at least worth exploring its potential, then you and Mark should meet with a couple’s therapist to discuss your lack of trust and the way you have been feeling recently. It may turn out that Mark is not interested in a being with a strong woman with an opinion. If he is dismissive of you at every turn, then you need to decide if you want to live your life feeling like a second class citizen as the panel has suggested of his behavior. Or, it may turn out that he is receptive to your newfound sense of independence and desire to be his equal. He may love it. Who knows?

It is possible that Mark has been behaving in ways you have allowed until this point. He may be on autopilot, just going through the motions of the relationship boundaries that you and he developed together over time. Your silence may have spoken volumes.

We don’t have a crystal ball and cannot predict his reaction. It is imperative, however, that you and Mark begin to communicate your needs to one another. Now is a good time to think about what you want your marriage to look like and what you are willing to do to make it so.

In therapy you will hopefully be able to not only ask him questions about his whereabouts but will begin to tell him what it is that you need.

For example, “If you aren’t going to be available by phone for a period of time, I would like to know about that beforehand.” Or, “It is unacceptable to me that you were out with friends when you cancelled our date. The lying is making me question whether or not I can even trust you.”

You have started to comment on some of his behaviors that you don’t like, which was new, brave and possibly scary for you. Good job! In therapy, you will take it to the next level and learn how to ask for what you want effectively. If you want to be in a relationship of equals, you

And so there you are comfortably sleeping in the backseat, until you start to feel some bumps and short stops that wake you from your slumber.

You open your eyes, stretch and tell him, “Hey! Back here! Why are you driving like that?”

will have to act like an equal which will require that you practice some new and possibly uncomfortable behaviors. Before we wave our red flags, let’s slow this down, pop open the hood of this car and see what is really going on here. Good luck! Feel free to write back to the panel with any updates or new questions as you turn the page to the next chapter of your relationship.

Sincerely, Jennifer Please note: This column is not meant to diagnose or otherwise offer comprehensive resolutions to any questions.

The Navidaters are dating and relationship coaches and therapists. Located in Lawrence, NY, their services include date debriefing, dating skills coaching, couples counseling, premarital and marital counseling. Sessions are held in the office or via phone or Skype. The Navidaters can be reached at 516.224.7779. If you have a dating or relationship scenario you would like to be featured in WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF, email thenavidaters@gmail.com.

Check out their website, thenavidaters. com for more information. Follow TheNavidaters on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

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In The K

tchen

Friday Night Tapas

By Naomi Nachman

I

love appetizers generally. A smaller-size version of the typical appetizer has recently become very popular; they are called “tapas” – a Spanish name for mini-appetizers (in Israel, they call them “mezze”). When ordering them at a restaurant, they come in small portions to encourage you to order a larger selection to share with your friends at the table. It’s a lot of fun ordering, sharing and passing them around the table. Some kosher restaurants, such as Bedford and Pardes, have made small-plates dining (a/k/a tapas) very popular. You can order almost the entire menu to sample (and I have)!

I have chosen three of my family’s favorites to share. You can do all different kinds. If you serve fish as one of the choices, remember to place an extra plate and fork for the diners.

Spicy Chicken Rounds

The key to this delicious and flavorful recipe is adding in the spices early. This helps release the flavors earlier into the recipe, making it more pungent. Spices have their own natural oil so you want to make sure you stir it in quickly and watch for burning.

Note: A nice side sauce for dipping is Sweet Chili Sauce available at the local kosher supermarket.

Ingredients 1 tablespoons canola oil 1 medium onion, finely chopped 2 cloves garlic, crushed

1 teaspoon ground coriander 1 teaspoon ground cumin 1 teaspoon ground turmeric 1 teaspoon chili powder 1 ½ pounds chopped chicken 1/3 cup frozen peas (optional) 2 tablespoon finely chopped fresh cilantro or parsley Salt, to taste 2 sheets ready-rolled puff pastry Preparation Preheat oven to 375°F. Line an oven tray with parchment paper.

Heat oil in a sauté pan. Add onion and garlic and cook over medium heat for two minutes or until onion is soft. Add all the spices and cook, stirring, for one minute.

Lower heat and add chicken to pan and cook for ten minutes until almost all liquid is evaporated, stirring occasionally. Stir in peas, cilantro or parsley and salt to taste. Remove from heat; cool.

Cut circles out of thawed puff pastry and place a level tablespoon of chicken mixture in the center of each circle. Fold over and seal and then brush with egg. Place on tray and bake for 30 minutes or until brown.

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015 The 2015 TheJewish JewishHome Home| OCTOBER | JANUARY29, 7, 2016

Asian Vegetable Wonton

Ingredients 1 tablespoon olive oil 1 pkg shredded coleslaw 2 scallions, finely chopped 10 shitake mushrooms, cleaned with stems removed 2 tablespoons teriyaki sauce ¼ teaspoon ground ginger ¼ teaspoon salt ½ teaspoon toasted or roasted sesame oil 1 pkg wonton wrappers Oil for frying Preparation Sauté cabbage in a large pan with oil until limp. Add scallions and mushrooms until they shrink. Add teriyaki sauce and ginger, salt and oil, and mix through vegetables; season to taste. Remove from heat.

Place vegetable mixture in the center of wonton wrappers and fold over to seal edges.

Heat oil and bring to 360°F. Add wontons a few at a time and cook until brown.

Ahi Tuna Poke

Ingredients 2 pounds fresh or sashimi-grade Ahi tuna steaks, finely diced ½ cup soy sauce ¾ cup chopped scallions 2 tablespoons sesame oil 1 tablespoon grated fresh ginger 1 jalapeno pepper, cored, seeded, and finely minced Coarse salt to taste 1 tablespoon toasted sesame seeds 1 tablespoon finely-chopped toasted macadamia nuts Boy choy or romaine lettuce leaves Preparation In a large bowl, combine tuna, soy sauce, scallions, sesame oil, ginger, jalapeno, salt, sesame seeds, and macadamia nuts; mix lightly. Cover and refrigerate at least 2 hours before serving.

To serve, tear lettuce leaves into comfortable holding sizes and spoon approximately tablespoons of poke onto each piece.

Makes 4 to 6 servings.

Note: You can also steam the wontons on a bamboo steamer or boil them in a pot of boiling water.

Naomi Nachman, the owner of The Aussie Gourmet, caters weekly and Shabbat/ Yom Tov meals for families and individuals within The Five Towns and neighboring communities, with a specialty in Pesach catering. Naomi is a contributing editor to this paper and also produces and hosts her own weekly radio show on the Nachum Segal Network stream called “A Table for Two with Naomi Nachman.” Naomi gives cooking presentations for organizations and private groups throughout the New York/New Jersey Metropolitan area. In addition, Naomi has been a guest host on the QVC TV network and has been featured in cookbooks, magazines as well as other media covering topics related to cuisine preparation and personal chefs. To obtain additional recipes, join The Aussie Gourmet on Facebook or visit Naomi’s blog. Naomi can be reached through her website,www.theaussiegourmet.com or at (516) 295-9669.

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Notable Quotes “Say What?!”

According to a new poll, Donald Trump was the candidate Americans would least want to have as their neighbor. It makes sense, because he’d build a massive wall between your yards and make you pay for it.

- Jimmy Fallon

There are already examples in the world. You can see it when you look at Hitler’s Germany.

- Turkish President Tayyip Erdogan, who is pushing for executive powers, citing Hitler’s Germany as an example of an effective presidential system

A militia group that is protesting the U.S. government has taken over a wildlife refuge in Oregon. Of course you can understand why they’re angry; it’s really not easy being a white man in Oregon.

- Conan O’Brien

Throwing a rock at Adelle Biton’s head – is that courage?

Shooting the Henkins in front of their children – is that courage? Abducting three youths, shooting them in their heads and escaping – is that courage? Burning Ayala Shapira – is that courage? Stopping to ask Danny Gonen z”l a question, and shooting him point blank when he stops to answer you – is that courage? Firing on the vehicle carrying Malachi Rosenfeld z”l – is that courage? Firing from afar at baby Shalhevet Pass – is that courage? Sending other people to explode in your name and destroying entire families, children included, like Barghouti did – is that courage?

– Israeli pundit Yotam Zimri responding to an article in Ha’aretz by Dr. Dmitry Shumsky of Hebrew University in which he posits that Arab terrorists are courageous

On “Face the Nation” yesterday, Donald Trump accused Ted Cruz of copying his immigration reform plan, specifically his idea of building a giant wall. Then China said, “Uh, hello?”

- Jimmy Fallon

For me, I’ve always been a guy who’s took pride in knowledge of every situation that I’ve ever spoke on. And to be honest, I haven’t really been on top of this issue. So it’s hard for me to comment. I understand that any lives that [are] lost, what we want more than anything is prayer and the best for the family, for anyone. But for me to comment on the situation, I don’t have enough knowledge about it.

- LeBron James when asked about a Cleveland grand jury’s decision not to indict the police officers responsible for the November 2014 shooting death of Tamir Rice, a 12-year-old Cleveland native who was holding a toy gun when he was killed

MORE QUOTES

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JANUARY 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

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I think that anyone that buys one of those things is out of their mind.

- NYPD Commissioner Bill Bratton at a news conference, referencing Hoverboards

We live in an extraordinarily crowded city. We have a hard enough time walking down the street, let alone hovering down.

- Ibid.

After being arrested for crashing his car into a shopping mall, a Florida man explained to police that he was trying to time-travel. Which is crazy. If you want to travel 50 years into the future, just leave Florida.

– Seth Myers

Contrary to the claims of what some gun rights proponents have suggested, this hasn’t been the first step in some slippery slope to mass confiscation. Contrary to claims of some presidential candidates apparently before this meeting, this is not a plot to take away everybody’s guns. You pass a background check, you purchase a firearm.

The problem is some gun sellers have been operating under a different set of rules. A violent felon can buy the exact same weapon over the internet with no background check, no questions asked.

Whoever wants to be Israeli must be Israeli all the way. I will not accept two states within Israel. We all know there is wild incitement by radical Islam in the Arab sector – incitement in mosques, incitement in the education system, incitement in social media. I will not accept two nations within Israel: a lawful nation for all its citizens and a nation within a nation for some of its citizens, in pockets of lawlessness. Those times are over. Whoever wants to be Israeli must be fully Israeli – both in rights and in obligations. And the first and paramount obligation is to abide by the laws of the state.

– Prime Minister Netanyahu speaking at the site of the Tel Aviv terrorist attack

China this weekend formally replaced its one-child policy with a new law allowing two children per family. That way, families will have one child to play with while the other one’s at work.

– Seth Myers

– President Obama while announcing several executive actions aimed at reducing gun violence

You are very rude, and I am not going to ever call on you.

Obama wants to impose more gun control.

My response.#? COME AND TAKE IT.

- Hillary Clinton at a town hall meeting to a heckler who attempted to ask her about her husband’s checkered past

- Tweet by Texas governor Greg Abbott

My brother – if you did the polling and actually looked at it – he’s probably the most popular president amongst Republicans in this country.

There is no such thing as reforming this. This has to completely be taken down. Who is man enough? Who is strong enough to say that the system of justice in America is an injustice to the American people? It all should be destroyed and something new and better put in place.

- Louis Farrakhan when asked on a Chicago radio show about ways to reform the police department

- Jeb Bush on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe”

MORE QUOTES

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A man in London just took Uber’s one-billionth ride, and to celebrate, Uber gave him a year’s worth of free rides. The man says he’s excited to spend the entire year drunk.

The Jerusalem Post reported today that a NY Hasidic paper Der Zeitung published the sit room photo w/o me (or Audrey T) photoshopped out perhaps because no woman should be in such a place of power or that I am dressed immodestly!!

- From a recently disclosed batch of Hillary Clinton emails, showing that she was not happy about being photoshopped out of the White House photo depicting the Situation Room during the Bin Laden raid

- Jimmy Fallon

Hillary said that guns don’t keep you safe. If she really believes that she should demand that her heavily armed bodyguards quickly disarm!

Stunning!!! Bare minimum I hope the WH formally objects.

This is so frustrating and depressing. I’m increasingly coming to believe we are moving backwards again in terms of women’s issues.

- Clinton’s aide responding to her email

– Tweet by Donald Trump

Donald Trump said yesterday that if he’s elected, he would “probably not talk as much.” That’s right, if Donald Trump is elected, even he will be speechless.

A new poll found that women in America are angrier about current events than men. And if you want to make them even angrier, just tell them they seem angry.

- Jimmy Fallon

- Seth Myers

MORE QUOTES

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Kornblum strongly suggests you try to develop your personal relationship with Merkel as you can. He says she dislikes the atmospherics surrounding the Obama phenomenon, that it’s contrary to her whole idea of politics and how to conduct oneself in general. She would welcome a more conversational relationship with you.

– An email sent to Hillary Clinton by Sid Blumenthal, who was her unofficial advisor, eight months after Obama took office, relaying that Germany’s foreign minister thinks that Germany’s Prime Minister Angela Merkel was not impressed with Obama (this email is from the recently released batch of Hillary emails)

Donald Trump’s television ad mistakenly shows footage from Morocco instead of Mexico. Trump insists it’s not a mistake, and he’s going to build a fence along the U.S.-Moroccan border and make Morocco pay for it.

– Conan O’Brien

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Political Crossfire

Space The Visionaries Take Over

By Charles Krauthammer

F

ractured and divided as we are, on one thing we can agree: 2015 was a miserable year. The only cheer was provided by Lincoln Chafee and the Pluto flyby (two separate phenomena), as well as one seminal aeronautical breakthrough.

On Dec. 21, Elon Musk’s SpaceX, after launching 11 satellites into orbit, returned its 15-story booster rocket, upright and intact, to a landing pad at Cape Canaveral. That’s a $60 million mountain of machinery – recovered. (The traditional booster rocket either burns up or disappears into some ocean.)

The reusable rocket has arrived.

Arguably, it arrived a month earlier when Blue Origin, a privately owned outfit created by Jeff Bezos (Amazon CEO and owner of The Washington Post) launched and landed its own booster rocket, albeit for a suborbital flight. But whether you attribute priority to Musk or Bezos, the two events together mark the inauguration of a new era in spaceflight.

Musk predicts that the reusable rocket will reduce the cost of accessing space a hundredfold. This depends, of course, on whether the wear and tear and stresses of the launch make the refurbishing prohibitively expensive. Assuming it’s not, and assuming Musk is even

10 percent right, reusability revolutionizes the economics of spaceflight.

Which both democratizes and commercializes it. Which means space travel has now slipped the surly bonds of government – presidents, Congress, NASA bureaucracies. Its future will now be driven far more by a competitive marketplace with its multiplicity of independent actors, including deeply motivated, financially savvy and visionary entrepreneurs.

To be sure, the enterprise is not entirely free of government. After all, SpaceX’s Falcon 9 rocket landed on a Cape Canaveral pad formerly used to launch Air Force Atlas rockets. Moreover, initial financing for these ventures already depends in part on NASA contracts, such as resupplying the space station.

That, however, is not much different from the growth of aviation a century ago. It hardly lived off airshow tickets or Channel-crossing prize money. What really propelled the infant industry was government contracts. For useful things like mail – and bomb – delivery.

The first and most visible consequence of the new entrepreneurial era will be restoring America as a spacefaring nation. Yes,

I know we do spectacular robotic explorations. But our ability to toss humans into space disappeared when NASA retired the space shuttle – without a replacement.

To get an astronaut into just low Earth orbit, therefore, we have to hitch a ride on Russia’s Soyuz with its 1960s technology. At $82 million a pop. Yet, today, two private companies already have contracts with NASA to send astronauts to the space station as soon as 2017.

The real prize, however, lies beyond Earth orbit. By now, everyone realizes that the space station was a colossal mistake, a white elephant in search of a mission. Its main contribution is to study the biological effects of long-term weightlessness.

But we could have done that in Skylab, a modest space station that our political betters decided four decades ago to abandon.

With increasing privatization, such decisions will no longer be exclusively Washington’s. When President Obama came into office, the plan was to return to the moon by 2020. A year later, he decided we should go to an asteroid instead.

Why? Who knows.

Today future directions are being set by private companies with growing technical experience

and competing visions. Musk is fixated on colonizing Mars, Bezos on seeing “millions of people living and working in space,” and Richard Branson on space tourism by way of Virgin Galactic (he has already sold 700 tickets to ride at $250,000 each). And Moon Express, another private enterprise, is not even interested in hurling about clumsy, air-breathing humans. It is bent on robotic mining expeditions to the moon. My personal preference is a permanent manned moon base, which would likely already exist had our politicians not decided to abandon the moon in the early 1970s.

We have no idea which plan is more likely to succeed and flourish.

But the beauty of privatization is that we don’t get just one shot at it.

Our trajectory in space will now be the work of a functioning market of both ideas and commerce. It no longer will hinge on the whims of only tangentially interested politicians.

Space has now entered the era of the Teslas, the Edisons and the Wright brothers. From now on, they will be doing more and more of the driving.

Which means we are actually – finally – going somewhere again. (c) 2015, The Washington Post Writers Group

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Parenting Pearls

Anger

By Rabbi Dani Staum, LMSW

Part V

I

n this article we will focus on some additional points parents can utilize in helping their children deal with their anger, as well as knowing when to seek outside help: It is important to realize that anger is a “secondary emotion.” That means that there is always another emotion which preceded – and triggered – the anger. Anger can result from any one (or more) of the following emotions: shame, jealousy, embarrassment, disappointment, worry, guilt, frustration, sadness, or hurt. Each of these deserves an article unto itself. However, for the sake of brevity we will merely state that anger precipitated by shame or guilt cannot be dealt with in the same manner as anger resulting from frustration or sadness. It is therefore very important to seek to understand what the underlying cause of the child’s anger is. If there are repeated patterns and triggers, that must be the starting point for relating to and dealing with the child’s anger.

When someone consistently becomes angry that means he/she perceives the situation in an angry manner which is fueling the harsh response. Although there can be no doubt that people often feel angry when dealing with certain individuals, the statement, “You made me mad!” is simply untrue. Unless someone knows how to enter someone else’s brain and manipulate his emotions there is no way anyone can

make another person become angry.

Rather, we become angry when we perceive an affront or feel threatened. “He didn’t make me mad” as much as my perception of what he said or did makes me feel mad.

We have automatic/immediate reactive thoughts in any given situation. The key to anger management is learning to challenge those immediate thoughts by replacing them with calming thoughts.

In order to help a child recognize and be aware of his thoughts we need to have patience to listen to his perspective about what occurred. Once we have a full picture we can gently suggest an alternative perspective of how to view the situation.

It is interesting that various seforim suggest various segulos that help a person control their anger.

The Shelah Hakdosh says that when angry, one should hold onto his tzitzis. Rav Elya Lopian would fill his mouth with water so he could not speak. Reb Baruch Ber Leibowitz zt”l had a special “ka’as hat” that he would don whenever he became angry.

I once heard from a talmid chochom that aside for the spiritual benefit of the segulos, there is a very practical psychological benefit to these segulos. Most anger responses are impulsive, irrational, and kneejerk. Engaging in a segulah when one is angry diverts his attention from the cause of the anger. When distracted from the emotional aspect one can achieve a degree of rationality.

We must always remember that, undoubtedly, a child’s greatest role

models are his parents. I once heard a mother scream at her son, “You have a serious temper problem, and you better learn to deal with it!” If we don’t react well when we become angry that is an area we must work on if we want our children to react better to their anger.

It’s also very important for parents to know when they need to seek outside intervention and help for their temperamental child. Parents can surely help their children, and they are their children’s most important resource. However, the challenge of parenting is that we are emotionally involved in our children’s lives. We have many dreams

It is important to understand that the therapist-client relationship is a shidduch. The most important component is the feelings of security and trust and comfort. That can take time to develop. It is also important to realize that sometimes “the shidduch doesn’t work.” Even if a therapist was able to help someone else, that therapist may be unable to have that same connection with a different client.

Therapists can best help when they are provided with actual practical scenarios, gleaned from teachers and parents, so they can be reenacted and discussed. Reviewing actual scenarios helps transform theoret-

Perhaps more than anything else we need to give our children hope that they can grow and learn to deal with their challenges. and hopes for our children, and when they struggle with certain issues it often triggers us. Once we are in an emotional state we are definitely unable to help our children deal with their emotions in the most optimal manner. In addition, some children require more time and individualized attention to help them work through their anger. A good therapist has the expertise and time (that’s what he/she is being paid for) to help the child in a very personal manner.

ical and vague ideas into real skills which he learns how to utilize and implement. If parents are bringing their child to a therapist, bear in mind that the parents’ ongoing input and involvement is invaluable.

We live in a world of heavy stigma and feelings of personal failure.

It must be realized that it is not a parental failure to seek outside help.

In fact, the opposite is true. It’s when parents do not seek help when their child needs it that they have been derelict in their duties. The wise

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

parent does not beat themselves up about it, but seeks to continue to support and encourage his/her child, as much as possible.

Perhaps more than anything else we need to give our children hope that they can grow and learn to deal with their challenges. Seeing other adults who had temper issues as children but learned to control it – including hearing stories from parents and teachers about how they overcame similar challenges – is very helpful for a child.

We need to demonstrate to our children that we are confident that they can do it. When they feel we believe in them, it helps them rise to the occasion.

I would like to conclude this discussion with the following personal anecdote: A few years ago I spent some time working with a student who had a very loose temper After a few months of working together he became a bar mitzvah.

When I arrived at his bar mitzvah celebration, the bar mitzvah bochur excitedly related to me that a few days earlier he was walking and proudly wearing his brand new hat.

Suddenly a wind blew his hat off of his head and straight into a puddle.

He walked over to the hat, picked it up, and said to his father while shaking his head annoyed, “You know, if not for all of those lessons, I would probably lose my temper right now!”

I was amazed by the boy’s growth and it demonstrated to me that with proper guidance, patience, and direction, a person can learn to control his anger.

What’s more, they can learn to channel that inner passion and fire for avodas Hashem to help others!

KEY POINTS

• Anger is a secondary emotion.

We need to understand the primary/triggering emotion in order to deal with the anger.

• It is important to recognize when outside intervention is necessary.

• Give a child the feeling that he can learn to control his anger!

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Gross and Schechter Families

t u o b a a a Pesach ii y l i m a F , d d n Frie ! e c n a i b m A & Multi-million dollar renovation The Gross and Schechter Families invite you to celebrate Pesach 2016 in a “home away from home” atmosphere.

Come be one of the family and not one of the crowd.

Beautiful indoor shul A large number of oversized connecting guest rooms Tranquil gardens and ponds on 16 acres of property Guest rooms outfitted with Hilton’s luxurious “Pillow Top Beds” On premises tennis, volleyball and basketball courts as well as a nearby golf course Heated indoor pool and jacuzzi Stimulating Scholar in Residence program R’ Menachem Leibtag - Founder of the Tanach Study Center R’ Zev Meir Friedman - Rosh HaYeshiva of Rambam Mesivta R’ Dr. Gil S. Perl - Chief Academic Officer, Kohelet Foundation R’ Yossi Prager - Executive Director of The AVI CHAI Foundation Dr. Sharon Goldman - Northeast Political Director for AIPAC Ms. Ann Koffsky - Author/Illustrator/Editor

Spectacular tea room & nightly entertainment Warm and professional day camp staff

For more information contact Rabbi Dani Staum, LMSW, is the Rabbi of Kehillat New Hempstead. He is also fifth grade Rebbe and Guidance Counselor in ASHAR in Monsey, and Princi-

pal of Mesivta Ohr Naftoli of New Windsor, NY, and a division head at Camp Dora Golding. Rabbi Staum offers parenting classes based on the acclaimed

Love & Logic Program. For speaking engagements he can be reached at stamtorah@gmail.com. His website is www. stamtorah.info.

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Classifieds classifieds@fivetownsjewishhome.com / text 443-929-4003 SERVICES

SERVICES

Alternative Solutions Geriatric Care Management staff will assist you with: * Obtaining Medicaid and Pooled Income Trust * In-home Assessments, Individual and Family Counseling * Securing reliable home care assistance * Case and Care Management services Dr. S. Sasson, DSW, LCSW (718) 544- 0870 or (646) 284-6242

SAFETY GRAB BARS Install… before you Fall!

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Leah’s Beauty Concepts Experienced Makeup Artist and Skin Care Specialist Makeup for all occasions Conventional and airbrush Wake up looking beautiful with permanent makeup Relaxing deep cleansing European facials Laser hair removal-electrolysis Leah Sperber 917-771-7329 The Children’s Clothing Gemach in Cedarhurst is fully stocked for boys/ girls in sizes newborn-teen. To make an appointment please call/text 516-712-7735 Personal chef, menu planning, grocery shopping, cooking, will stock your freezer with prepared meals, customized meals, every day, holidays, dinners, Naphtali Sobel 516-732-1729 Struggling with Shalom Bayis?

The Shalom Bayis Hotline 732-523-1112. Caring rabbanim answering your questions for free.

So far very positive results BS’D! HAIR COURSE Learn how to wash and style hair and wigs Hair and wig cutting, wedding styling Private lessons or in a group Call Chaya 718-715-9009 SHALOM HANDYMAN Plumbing, heating, sewer, locks, dryer vent cleaning, and more.

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Close To All, Must see.

Call Alexandra Douglas Elliman 516-784-0856 OPEN HOUSE THIS SUNDAY Jan 10 from 12-2 919 West Broadway, Woodmere FAR ROCKAWAY: PRICE REDUCED!!! Lovely 4BR, 4 Bath Colonial, LR, Formal DR, Eik, Den, 4 Bedrooms On One Floor, Full Finished Basement…$949K Call Carol Braunstein (516) 295-3000 www.pugatch.com HEWLETT: Charming 3BR, 2.5BA Colonial on CulDe-Sac, Eik, Formal DR, Full Finished Bsmt W/Sept Entrance, Lovely Private Backyard…$435K Call Carol Braunstein (516) 295-3000 www.pugatch.com HEWLETT: Side Hall Colonial 3BR, FDR, Enclosed Florida Room, Eik, Formal DR, Finished Basement…$499K Call Carol Braunstein (516) 295-3000 www.pugatch.com WOODMERE: Great Starter, 2BR Ranch, LR/DR, 2 Dens, Large Property, Prime Location, SD#15…$425K Call Carol Braunstein (516) 295-3000 www.pugatch.com

WOODMERE: Completely Renovated 3BR, 2BA Ranch, Updated Eik, Formal DR, MBR Suite, Den W/Fplc & Vaulted Ceiling, Lovely Property, SD#14…$625K Call Carol Braunstein (516) 295-3000 www.pugatch.com

HOUSES FOR SALE WOODMERE: Elegant Stately Colonial 4BR, 3 Full Baths, Features Gracious Entry Hi Ceilings, Eik, Lg FDR, LR, Fabulous Den, Prime Location, SD#14…$825K Call Carol Braunstein (516) 295-3000 www.pugatch.com WOODMERE 6 Bdrms, 2.5 Baths, new trex front porch, brick patio, in ground pool, koi pond with water fall, central A/C, gas/steam heat, wood floors, security system with cameras and remote control front gates Asking $799,000, taxes $14,800.

Please call 516-569-9042 WOODMERE NEW CONSTRUCTION 5 BR, 3.5 Bths, Center Hall Colonial.

Master Suite w/2 Walk in Closets, Guest BR wFull Bath on First Floor. Radiant Heat on First Floor, Granite Kosher EIK………………….….. $1.3M

By Owner NO Brokers 646-634-4642

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JANUARY 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Charming 3BR Cape, LR, Lg 3BR, 2BA Ranch, FDR, Legal 2 Family, 4BR, 3BR Colonial, FDR, Eik, FDR, Eik, Near All..$339K Eik, FDR, Bsmt...$429K Low Taxes... $489K New Roof, Porch...$499K

Mint 6BR, 3BA Split, New Great Potential Investment, Bright 5BR, 3BA Hi-Ranch, Elegant 5BR, 4.5BA Ranch, Eik, Den W/Fpl…$699K Legal 2 Family, 6BR..$699K IG-Pool, Deck…$999,995 Set On 1 Acre Ppty..$2.2M

Susan Pugatch

Carol Braunstein

(516)

Call or Text

(516) 592-2206

295-3000

www.pugatch.com

spugatch@pugatch.com

LAWRENCE: 115 Lawrence Ave(12-1:30)$999,995 LAWRENCE: 2 6 0 C e n t r a l Av e ( 1 2 - 3 ) R E G E N C Y VALLEY STREAM: 60 Dar tmouth St(12:30-2)$339K 840 +/- SF 3 Exam Rms Waiting Rm & Reception Area Ideal for Any

Professional Use

1428 +/- SF 5 Offices Waiting Rm &

Reception Area Private Parking Great Location

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

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Classifieds classifieds@fivetownsjewishhome.com / text 443-929-4003 COMMERCIAL RE

COMMERCIAL RE

COMMERCIAL RE

APT FOR RENT

CEDARHURST: 600-4000 +/- SF Retail Spaces Available in the Heart of Cedarhurst, For Lease...

Call For More Details - Broker (516) 792-6698

VALLEY STREAM: Office Space in Professional Hi-Rise Building, Can Be Built to Suit, Various Suites Available, $28 RSF Full Service, For Lease...

Call Randy for More Details (516) 295-3000 www.pugatch.com

INWOOD OFFICE SPACE LOWEST PRICES IN TOWN! 500-7000 Square feet gorgeous office space with WATERVIEW in Inwood!

Lots of options. Tons of parking. WIll divide and customize space for your needs! Call 516-567-0100

HOUSE FOR RENT - LAWRENCE For rent by owner, No Brokerage Involved. Large renovated Center Hall Colonial. Central location - Lawrence; walk to all shuls. Hi ceilings. New eat-in kitchen with Stainless Steel appliances. 5 large Bedrooms, Wood paneled library, Formal Dining Room, Den, Backyard, excessive amount of closet space. Available immediately. $4,250 p/mo. 917-455-7376

CEDARHURST: 800-3000 +/- SF Professional Office Space Available in the Heart of Cedarhurst, For Lease...

Call For More Details – (516) 295-3000 www.pugatch.com FAR ROCKAWAY: Development Property in the Heart of Bayswater, Investment Opportunity, 1 Acre Land For Sale …

Call Lenny for More Details (516) 295-3000 www.pugatch.com OCEANSIDE: Mixed Use Building, Investor or User Property, 5 Commercial Tenants, 3 Residential Apartments, New Stucco Façade & More, For Sale…

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Call for More Details (516) 295-3000 www.pugatch.com FIVE TOWNS: 1200 +/- SF Office Space in the Finest Building in the Five Towns, Available Feb 1st, Must See!!! $32PSF in Premiere Building, For Lease …Call Ian for More Details (516) 295-3000 www.pugatch.com CEDARHURST OFFICE SPACE LOWEST PRICES IN TOWN! 500-5000 square feet very nice office space with cool conference room & Kitchen. Onsite parking Great Location. Lots of options! Will divide and customize space for your needs!

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INWOOD Commercial mixed use building + Lot. Private parking, corner property, high traffic area 1st floor offices, 2nd floor: 2 Apts. Asking 849k.

Call 212-470-3856 Yochi @ WinZone Re

APT FOR RENT LAWRENCE: Updated & Spacious 3 Bedrooms, 2 Bath Apartment, CAC, Use Of Yard & Driveway, Lovely Street, Close To All…$2,395/Mo. Call Carol Braunstein - (516) 295-3000 www.pugatch.com LAWRENCE: Renovated 3 Bedrooms, 2 Bath Apt on Lovely Street, CAC, Use Of Yard & Driveway, Close To All, Includes All Utilities Except Cable…$2,750/Mo. Call Carol Braunstein (516) 295-3000 www.pugatch.com

FAR ROCKAWAY Near everything. 2 bedroom apartment for rent on 3rd floor in a 3 floor house.

Upgraded kitchen and bathroom.

Available now. Heat, hot and cold water included in rent No problems with parking. Please call: 516-322-6515, 516 -225-4558 Brand new luxury 3 bedroom 2 bath apartment in central Far Rockaway 2 Family home. Features: Private entrance, 1 car off street parking, Sukkah porch. Large eat in kitchen with new appliances, Living room, Dining room, Additional storage in attic, Separate heat, A/C, hot water, Washer/Dryer Hook Up, Walk to all Call 1-917-415-0055

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JANUARY 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Classifieds classifieds@fivetownsjewishhome.com / text 443-929-4003 APT FOR RENT

HELP WANTED

HELP WANTED

SITUATION WANTED

CEDARHURST 500-3,500 +/- SF Beautiful, newly renovated space for rent. Ideal for Retail or Executive offices. Prime location.

Convenient Parking. Call Sam @ 516-612-2433 or 718-747-8080

CATAPULT LEARNING Teachers for Title I in Boro Park andWilliamsburg Chassidic boys schools *College/Yeshiva Degree Required *Strong desire to help children learn *Excellent organizational skills *Small group instruction *Competitive salary Email resume: nyteachers@catapultlearning.com.

Fax (718) 381-3493

ACCOUNTANT/BOOKKEEPER Growing company in the 5 Towns seeking motivated employee for Full Time accounting/bookkeeping.

MUST have professional accounting experience previously to be considered, strong teamwork skills required.

Submit qualified resume to admin@ getpeyd.com for details.

LICENSED PRACTICAL NURSE seeks position in homecare with the elderly or pediatric care. I am skilled, caring and dependable.

Please call me at 631-759-0025

Dry cleaner looking to hire EXPERT SEAMSTRESS / TAILOR to work in dry cleaning store asap.

Main Street (Queens) location.

Established clientele. Generous compensation split and opportunity to make extra money. Set your own hours. If interested please call Marc 917-612-2300

SHIDDUCH DATING? NEED PLACES TO GO?

ON SEAGIRT AVENUE 2 & 3 bedroom. Newly renovated.

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More info call or text 917-602-2914

HELP WANTED GREAT OPPORTUNITY Looking for class B CDL DRIVER with clutch for a heimishe lumber co.

Great pay, Call: 718-369-3141 Ext. 348 Due to engagement, Torah Academy for Girls is seeking qualified experienced, 6th grade Limudei Kodesh morah.

Please fax resume 718-868-4612 att: Morah Drillman.

Local F.T. Accounting Office Seeks P/T JR. ACCOUNTANT proficient in Q.B. knowledge of payroll tax, sales tax, business tax and individual taxes Qualified applicants should please e-mail resume to: 5towntaxoffice@gmail.com

Physical Therapist Assistants (PTA’s) & Occupational Therapists Assistants (COTA’s)For 200+ bed Nursing Home in Queens. Must have Hospital or Nursing Home experience. Please email resume to promrehab@aol.com

TJH Classifieds Post your Real Estate, Help Wanted, Services, Miscellaneous Ads here.

Weekly Classifed Ads Up to 5 lines and/or 25 words 1 week ................ $20 $10 2 weeks .............. $35 $17.50 4 weeks .............. $60 $30 Email ads to: classifieds@fivetownsjewishhome.com Include valid credit card info

Deadline Monday 5:00pm

MISC

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The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

Kattamon

German Colony

Spacious 5 bedroom apartment in a prestigious building with a lobby, fitness room, Synagogue, storage room, parking and a Shabbat elevator.

City Center

In a boutique building in the German Colony, 7 room apartment with a private entrance, 203 sqm + 90 sqm garden + balcony, 4 bedrooms plus a family room, covered parking and storage.

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Old Kattamon

City Center bordering Rehavia, close to the Great Synagogue, luxury 3 bedroom apartment of 150 sqm featuring a Succah balcony, parking, elevator and storage.

New building, 6 room luxury penthouse, 185 sqm, 70 sqm terraces overlooking incredible views, high standard, Shabbat elevator, storage room and private parking.

COMPUTER

GRAPHICS LEARN ADOBE INDESIGN,

WORKSHOP

ILLUSTRATOR & PHOTOSHOP

New Session Starts Mid January.

Workshop meets twice a week.

Day or Eve. Flatbush location.

Small groups.

Seasoned instructor with 10+years of experience in print & web design.

Basic computer skills, labtop & software required. Ask about Adobe student software discounts.

For more info call 917-771-6996 or email computergraphicsworkshop@gmail.com

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JANUARY 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Your

Money

Cast Your Ballot

By Allan Rolnick, CPA

The 2016 presidential election is almost here. Are you excited yet? (Some cynics would say the campaign actually started as long ago as November 7, 2012 — the day after the last election!) In just a few weeks, voters in Iowa and New Hampshire will gather to cast the first ballots to determine who takes the oath of office to become the 45th president of the United States.

And while we aren’t here to predict the winner, we can be sure that taxes and tax policy will take center stage. So we’ve assembled a collection of quotes from presidents and presidential candidates to finish up your 2015:

“Our income tax system is a disgrace to the human race.”

- Jimmy Carter

“The really rich people figure out how to dodge taxes anyway.”

- George H.W. Bush

“If our current tax structure were a TV show, it would either be ‘Foul-ups, Bleeps and Blunders,’ or ‘Gimme a Break.’ If it were a record album, it would be ‘Gimme Shelter.’ If it were a movie, it would be ‘Revenge of the Nerds’ or maybe ‘Take the Money and Run.’ And if the IRS ever wants a theme song, maybe they’ll get Sting to do ‘Every breath you take, every move you make, I’ll be watching you.’”

- Ronald Reagan

“Make sure you pay your taxes; otherwise, you can get in a lot of trouble.”

- Richard M. Nixon

“I apologize for the inequities in the practical applications of the tax, but if we should wait before collecting a tax to adjust the taxes upon each man in exact proportion with every other, we shall never collect any tax at all.”

- Abraham Lincoln

“I’m delighted to pay big taxes. Big taxes mean big income.”

- H. Ross Perot

“[The tax code] is a monstrosity and there’s only one thing to do with it. Scrap it, kill it, drive a stake through its heart, bury it and hope it never rises again to terrorize the American people.”

- Steve Forbes “The taxpayer — that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take a civil service examination.”

- Ronald Reagan

Of course, 2016 is almost here too.

And that means time for New Year’s resolutions. This year you could be like everyone else and promise to lose weight, quit smoking, or call your parents every week.

Or you could resolve to pay less tax. If that sounds like a resolution worth keeping, get set up with the plan you need!

Allan J Rolnick is a CPA who has been in practice for over 30 yea rs in Queens, NY. He welcomes your comments and can be reached at 718-8968715 or at allanjrcpa@aol.com.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

R! E M M U S H T R U FO B AC K F O R O U R NOW HIRIN Call 516.225.4 G! 521 or email c amp

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JANUARY 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home

Life C ach

Restaurant - Relationship

By Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., CLC, SDS

H

ave you been to this restaurant on the Upper West Side?

Honestly, if you didn’t know it was there you would never find it.

Even if you were literally standing on top of it! And I do mean right on top of it – it’s not visible from the street.

You need to creep down a hidden staircase to find it and once you are there there’s not a window to escape from. But no one wants to escape.

Not till they’re 3,000 calories richer.

Sure, there’s a salmon option, but who even gets it?! And if they do, it’s probably followed by a cheesecake chaser. It’s just hard to get out of there with your diet plan intact.

The place is wall to wall with waiting customers. And it doesn’t even have a place to stand and wait.

But people do stay for a table anyway.

Calling it a fire hazard would be like the biggest understatement.

One would think they were giving something away for free.

And can you call and make a reservation? No! You need to take your chances and then stand there all squished together with the rest of the proletariat, no special treatment for anyone. It’s humbling. But people do it because it’s delicious.

If you’ve been there you probably know just which place I’m talking

about; if not, I’ve probably really sparked your interest. But this is not a review, so I can’t really advertise it. So ask your friends or stroll the streets of Manhattan looking for a restaurant you can scarcely find and hardly fit into – and that’s probably it!

Sure you can go to other places.

But whatever you order here you can’t go wrong, and people like that kind of guarantee.

Because life isn’t quite that way – all good. Most things have some flaws. But not usually here.

So let me tell you something now that I’ve sold this.... It’s all outlook!

Think again. Some people don’t like dairy, so that’s a shortcoming.

Though if you’re smart you can go parve. But there is absolutely no meat, if you need that!

Some people don’t like to wait.

They want to know they have a table ordered. Forget it! But then again, you can go there on off times and be seated easily.

Some people don’t like to be squished, or sit in a place without sunshine or windows.

My point is, sure, some things seem clearly better than others, but if we look from a different vantage point we can see that perfection just

doesn’t exist.

The reason so many people like this place is because they let the good override or block out the obstacles or deficiencies that come with it.

So can you try to do that with your relationships, I ask you? Can you just take a giant bite out of his/

experience of them that made you choose them. Focus, really focus, on those qualities and then somehow the other stuff won’t seem as draining.

It’s when the waiting, the desire for a steak, or the lack of windows starts overriding the variety of delec-

So ask your friends or stroll the streets of Manhattan looking for a restaurant you can scarcely find and hardly fit into – and that’s probably it!

her strengths and really take a good look at them before chewing them up, swallowing them down, and going to town on the bad stuff that comes along with it?

If you can really see that there is a giant area of good stuff in the person you love, maybe you can stop thinking about the struggles that come along with it. And just enjoy what’s there that makes it worth the experience of being there.

There clearly once was a delicious

table stuff they have that it loses the appeal of going to that restaurant.

But when you remember all the good it does have, then the other stuff pales again, and you’re back there with gusto.

Rivki Rosenwald is a certified relationship counselor, and career and life coach.

She can be contacted at 917-705-2004 or rivki@rosenwalds.com

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 7, 2016

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JANUARY 7, 2016 | The Jewish Home