Centerfold

1.

TJH Centerfold

Not Bamboozling You

 Bamboo accounts for 99% of pandas’ diets. The other 1% is made up of vegetation, fi sh or small animals. (Defi nitely trying that after Sukkos…for two days.)

 Bamboo shoots are commonly used in Asian cuisine. (So are snakes.)

 There are over 1,500 species of bamboo in the world! (There’s a guy in Brooklyn who uses every variety for his schach! It’s a great chol hamoed trip.)  Bamboo w a s w a s the fi rst plant to the fi rst plant to regrow after the regrow after the atomic blast in Hiatomic blast in Hiroshima in 1945, as roshima in 1945, as it can tolerate extreme it can tolerate extreme conditions. conditions.

 The largest species of bamboo can reach 1,300 feet in height. (Imagine how tall they would be if they didn’t drink co ee!)

 Bamboo releases 30% more oxygen into the atmosphere and absorbs more carbon dioxide compared to other plants, thus cleaning the air. (Let’s surround

AOC’s house with bamboo!)

 Bamboo is used not only in construction but also is used in the manufacture of fl oors, skateboards, bicycle frames, and helmets. (If you have a bamboo bike, just remember – no shirt, no service!)  Bamboo is the fastest growing plant Bamboo is the fastest growing plant on this planet. Some species can on this planet. Some species can grow more than 3 feet in a 24- hour grow more than 3 feet in a 24- hour period. (It’s good bamboo doesn’t (It’s good bamboo doesn’t have a grandmother, otherwise she have a grandmother, otherwise she would have to constantly comment, would have to constantly comment,

“Wow, you got sooooo tall!”)

 Bamboo is a staple of Eastern medicine and is used for respiratory and digestive illnesses, fevers, and infl ammation. (If you get a headache on Sukkos, just grab a piece of schach and rub it on your forehead!)

You Gotta Be Kidding Me!

Seymour comes running into shul one night, all out of breath and very excited.

“What is happening Seymour?” asks Yankel.

“Oh, you would never believe it, Yankel,” says Seymour. “I was trying to catch the bus back from work and I missed it. So I chased it to the next stop, and I missed it again. I kept missing it, and before I knew it, I chased it all the way to here.”

Yankel says, “So, why are you so excited?”

Seymour replies, “What do you mean? It’s amazing! I got here and saved the money that I would have had to spend on the bus.”

Yankel replies, “You should have chased a taxi – you would have saved a lot more money!”

Hall of Famer Derek Jeter Trivia

1. Having become a fi rst-ballot Hall of Famer last week, how many of the 397 Hall of Fame voters voted for Derek Jeter? a. 201 b. 300 c. 396 d. 397

2. In what year did Derek Jeter make his major league debut? a. 1992 b. 1994 c. 1995 d. 1996

3. In what year did Jeter record his 2,000th hit? a. 2000 b. 2006 c. 2008 d. 2011

4. How many Gold Gloves does Jeet have? a. 2 b. 3 c. 5 d. None 5. In what year did Jeter become captain of the Yankees? a. 1996 b. 2000 c. 2003 d. 2007

6. While in high school, which of the following awards did

Jeet receive? a. B’nai B’rith Award for

Scholar Athlete b. High School Player of the

Year by the American Baseball

Coaches Association c. Gatorade High

School Player of the Year award d. USA Today’s High

School Player of the

Year

7. Which team passed up on Jeter, enabling the Yankees to sign him? a. Astros b. Padres c. Cubs d. Red Sox 8. What is Jeet’s highest yearly batting average to-date? a. .324 b. .334 c. .349 d. .352

9. In his junior high school yearbook, what did Jeter predict he would be in 10 years? a. Zoologist b. Shortstop for the Yankees c. Doctor d. Physical trainer

10. On September 11, 2009, Jeter became the Yankees all-time hit leader. Who did he pass in order to get that title? a. Mickey Mantle b. Yogi Berra c. Babe Ruth d. Lou Gehrig

Answers: 1. C- Jeter’s teammate Mariano Rivera was the only ever unanimous Hall of Famer. Jeter received the most votes ever for a position player. 2. C- Jeter made his major league debut as a fi ll-in for injured shortstop Tony Fernandez on May 29, 1995. He batted ninth and went 0-for-5. Not a sign of things to come. 3. B- In May 26, 2006, almost 11 years to the day after he hit No. 1, Jeter reached 2,000, singling vs. Kansas City Royals righthander Scott Elarton. 4. C- 5 5. C- 2003 6. A, B, C, D- Jeter received each of these awards. 7. A- Jeter was scouted heavily by Hal Newhouser, an employee of the Houston Astros, who was convinced that Jeter would anchor a winning team. Newhouser felt so strongly about Jeter’s potential that he quit his job after the Astros passed on him. 8. C- In 1999, Jeter’s batting average was a career high .349 and he also hit a career high 24 homers. (Those steroids really work wonders! Just kidding…. I can already feel the wrath of you Jeter fans. It’s a good thing you don’t know where I live!) 9. B- Dream big and you too may achieve greatness. In my junior high school yearbook, I predicted that in 10 years I would be the TJH Centerfold Commissioner! 10. D

Scorecard: 7-10 correct: You are one of those who has a life-size cutout of Jeter in your basement…. Yeah, he loves you, too! 3-6 correct: You have a healthy level of Jeter knowledge, while still having a real life. 0-2 correct: Hmm… You will probably do better when we have David Wright Hall of Fame trivia in the Centerfold. (You have a lot of time to prepare for that…probably a lifetime to prepare.)