Parenting Pearls

Extracurriculars are Extraordinary

By Sara Rayvych, MSEd

Yeshiva schedules are a full day. After homework, dinner, and baths there is precious little time left. There is no doubt that school is not only a major part of a child’s day but also an important one. While adults go to work, children have school as their main occupation.

It’s tempting to shun any form of extracurricular activities for kids. Kids and parents are both busy. Extra energy is certainly in low parental supply. Financial limitations can also be a deterrent for some families. Honestly, there are many reasons to deter you.

Despite the many hesitations about outside activities, there are many benefits to extracurriculars for parents to consider. Children are not one-dimensional, and there’s more to life than just book work, as important as that is. Children, similar to adults, have many aspects to their personalities, and they deserve to express those talents.

Balance is important in all areas, and a child’s routine schedule is no different. Enjoyable and creative outlets, when combined with their regular academics, provide a more well-rounded child. Most schools provide many of the activities mentioned in this article. Some children will naturally gravitate towards the school-offered opportunities, while others may need a little encouragement. In addition, our community has many talented individuals that offer additional options. With a minimum amount of effort, parents should be able to find something within our area and their price range (or even free) that appeals to their child. Never assume that just because you don’t like something your child won’t find it enjoyable.

Becoming Successful

Success breeds success, and children benefit from being successful in many areas of their life. Being involved in a variety of activities gives children multiple potential areas to improve themselves and succeed.

Parents might be particularly hesitant to add to the schedule of an educationally struggling child. The fear is that if children divert their time and attention from an already difficult school day, they will do even worse in class. Children that struggle in school can easily see their self-worth plummet and become frustrated. By seeing how successful they can be in an area outside of their regular academics they can help maintain their self-worth even in the face of failure. Even more than this, the hope is that by experiencing how successful they can be in another environment they can then carry it back into the classroom.

Children that find school stressful can also benefit from the healthy distraction that appropriate extracurricular activities provide. School is hard enough – even more so for children who find lessons difficult. Outside activities can give children a healthy outlet and respite from a stressful environment. Hobbies and extracurricular activities are known for being relaxing. Even kids need to unwind, and this is a healthy outlet. Kids without a healthy outlet risk finding an unhealthy one, chas v’shalom.

Many children can also find leadership roles within their chosen activity. A child who might be shy or hesitant may find they’re able to lead others in an activity that they excel at. This, too, can improve their self-esteem.

Chevra

Kids have a circle of friends and acquaintances that come from a few places, predominantly from school, shul, and their immediate neighborhood. Many children benefit from expanding their chevra past their daled amos. Outside activities give children the chance to meet other kids, particularly children who have similar interests as them.

This can be a wonderful opportunity for a child that has not been successful in forming appropriate friendships with the children they already know. Community-based activities offer a wider peer group than a

child currently has. Even more importantly, the children that kids meet in these groups are other children they already have something in common with – they all enjoy the special activity they are doing together. Having an activity to do together can make socializing a little less pressured. As the kids focus on the task at hand, they have a more natural way to interact with each other.

Athletic Programs

There are many sports-based programs in and out of schools. There is everything from leagues to classes, and parents can choose from competitive and non-competitive based sports. Not only are they an enjoyable outlet for many kids, but they’re a great way to stay healthy and fit – especially for kids sitting at a desk in class every day. Everyone benefits from being physically active. It’s great for both the body and mind. Kids’ bodies, in particular, are meant to move a lot, and athletic programs are an excellent option.

Skill-Based Programs

Carpentry, robotics, music, and ceramics are some of the many new skills children can learn. In addition to learning a new skill, children can improve their fine and gross motor skills at the same time. Depending on the chosen skill, coordination, dexterity, and increased confidence are among the extra potential benefits.

Educational Programs

I know I said that extracurricular activities can be a change from the usual educational schedule, but many children really do enjoy learning certain subjects in-depth, particularly subjects they may not be covering as much in school. There are kids that really like science, math, and geography. My kids have enjoyed spending their free time studying everything from engineering and forensics to maps and the Middle Ages. Many children enjoy writing, book clubs, debating and foreign languages.

It’s ironic, because while many children might not like to do some of these activities, even in school, many children would really enjoy spending their extra time engaged in learning these very same subjects. This just accentuates how unique each child is.

Torah-Learning Programs

Acharon acharon chaviv. Learning Torah deserves its own category. There are so many wonderful learning

By seeing how successful they can be in an area outside of their regular academics they can help maintain their self-worth even in the face of failure.

programs in our area, both connected to schools and done independently. These programs not only provide your child with extra knowledge, but they try to do it in a way that is extra fun and creative. While teachers are definitely known for their creativity (it’s not coincidental that many of these programs are run by teachers), there is still a need to cover a certain amount of material in school along with other important school requirements. As these programs don’t have those necessary limitations, the children can be exposed to Torah in a way they don’t usually experience.

Enjoying Torah and mitzvos, along with having positive Jewish exposure, can only benefit children. Learning about why they can’t do something on Shabbos, along with fun ways the melacha can be applied, not only brings Shabbos and the Mishkan to life, it also can make it easier for children to intellectually and emotionally understand when their parents say, “That’s a melacha. We can’t do it on Shabbos.” This same awareness can be applied to any area of Jewish life.

Our community has many such programs available, many with no or minimal fees. There are a myriad of Avos U’banim and hasmada/masmid type programs, Tehillim groups, and Shabbos learning programs. It has been my experience that there is a very nice peer group at these programs.

My children personally attended some of these programs and gained a tremendous amount. I can’t tell you how disappointed I was when my boys aged out of our local programs. Each week they attended “Likras Shabbos” (Ephraim Perlstein 646-346-0269) where they learned hilchos Shabbos in-depth and enjoyed kugel and prizes. It became a major component of

their weekly Shabbos preparations and brought lively halacha discussions to our Shabbos table. My son looked forward to “Learn and Live” (learnandlivefr@gmail.com) each week where he learned a different one of the 39 melachos via a fun and creative presentation. The pizza served didn’t hurt, either. They looked forward to both programs each week. The same organization as Learn and Live has a weekly Pirkei Avos shiur called Ashreinu. My son enjoyed both the shiur and the prize he won. By being a part of a continuous program they not only learned important topics but made good friends. In some of the programs, they even had the opportunity to assist and gain some responsibilities.

As busy as we are, adding some extracurricular fun to our child’s week can enhance many parts of their life. As they learn and have fun, they can gain new skills and friends. With a little encouragement, our children can discover parts of themselves that had previously been hidden.

Sara Rayvych, MSEd, has her master’s in general and special education. She has been homeschooling for over 10 years in Far Rockaway. She can be contacted at RayvychHomeschool@gmail.com.