Five Towns Jewish Home - 9-19-19 by The Jewish Home

September 19, 2019

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T A L E ISRA ASSE P M I AN

66 Fun, Food and Friends at JCC Fall Festival

63 All Smiles at TFC Back to School Extravaganza

Belsky & Blachorsky Families Celebrate Hachnosas Sefer Torah with the Community

50 PAGE 9

LEGISLATOR HOWARD KOPEL A Voice for Our Community

COMBATING THE MEASLES AND RESISTING THE FLU

TJH Speaks with Dr. Jane R. Zucker, assistant commissioner for the Bureau of the Immunization for the City of New York pg100

SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 | The Jewish Home

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SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 | The Jewish Home

INSPIRING JEWS ... ONE BOOK AT A TIME

FROM

New for the entire family. Bring the Parashah to life! The Jaffa Family Edition

Weekly Parashah

THE

An illustrated retelling of the Chumash with Midrash

by Rabbi Nachman Zakon

L SPECIA TORY DUC INTRO ICE! PR

Illustrated by Tova Katz The Weekly Parashah features age-appropriate text and graphics, gorgeous illustrations, and fascinating sidebars on every page. Who’s who

Hashem agre ed, and Avra ham’s hair people got turned gray old, they look ! From then ed old. Now between fath on when people coul ers and sons d tell the , mothers and differenc

in the Torah

Elie

daughters, e zer When Avraham old and youn left to Eretz g. Yisrael, King Nimrod gave him a going -away gift: his servant Eliez y the time er. Avraham Avraham reac trusted Eliez hed old age, “bakol” — er so much that Hashem had with everythin he let Eliezer blessed him g. Besides manage his defeated his enormous yetzer hara wealth, he Avraham had household. and had no had desire to sin! passed all Eliezer learn his ten tests He couldn’t ed all the rest of his life , and now teachings of sin. in peace. Hashem let Avraham and him live the Avraham’s taught them greatest bles to others. When Avrah sing same num was his “ben am went to fight erical value ,” his son, the five kings as “bak whic ol” (the gem , Eliezer was “ben” and “bak h has the the atria [numerica only one who ol” is 52). went with him l value] of According both to one opin to the battle. ion “bakol” daughter, and mea

Blessed with

her name was

The Prom

ise of the Ra

inbow

by Rabbi Nachman Zakon There were time s in history in which peop le were so good that Hash em never considered destr oying the world. When that happened there were no rainbows! For example, in the time of King Chizk iyahu the time of Rabb and in i Shimon bar Yochai, no rainbow ever appeared in the sky.

oach was afra id to start wor king to rebu descendants ild the wor sinned and ld. What if Hashem dest his So Hashem royed it agai said to Noa n? unbreakable ch and his agreement sons, “I am with you and animals, bird making an all your desc s, wild beas endants, and ts, and ever will there be with y livin all g thing on a Mabul to earth. Never destroy the Then across world.” again the sky a dazz ling rainbow “This rainbow appeared. is a sign of the agreeme When we nt we mad see a rain e.” bow, we say promising a blessing, not to flood to thank Hash the world agai em for n.

Illustrated by Tova Katz N

THE WEEKLY

Drunk!

oach was a man of the earth. He was land. After a farmer who the Mabul he worked the planted a vine vines he had yard, using brought with the small grap same day he him to the eplanted the Teivah. Mira grapevines, culously, the wine out of they grew grap the grapes es. Noach then the same day. made

PARASHAH

Eliezer hope d that his daughter woul d marry Yitzchak. How ever, Eliezer was a Canaanite. Avraham woul d not allow Yitzc hak to marry her, because the children of Canaan had been cursed by Noach. Avrah am and Yitzc hak were descendan ts of Shem, whom Noac h had blessed. A match betw een cursed and some someone one blessed would not work .

Which ange l did Hashem send with Eliez er? Avraham’s speci al angel — Metatron.

Everything

“Bakol.”

The First Sh

ns he was blessed with a

idduch

vraham reali zed that if things wou at the Ake ld have turn idah, Yitzc ed out diffe hak would rently have no child have been ren! Who wou killed and Avraham reali he would ld have carr zed it was ied on Avra ham’s miss time for Yitzc Yitzchak was ion? hak to get forty years mar old. ried. After This is the all, story of the first Jewish shid The “shadcha duch. n” was Avra ham’s trus Avraham gave ted servant him careful and stud instr ent, Eliezer. for Yitzchak, uctions on how to go and he desc abou ribe t finding a wife d the kind for. of girl Eliez er should be looking

No Canaan

im!

vraham told Eliezer, “Sw ear to Hashem by the holiness of the mitzvah of bris mila to bring a h not Canaanite girl to mar Yitzchak. Go ry to the coun try where I born and was bring back a girl for Yitzc from my fam hak ily.” “What happ ens if she doesn’t wan come?” Eliez t to er asked. “Sho uld I take Yitzc “Absolutely hak there? not!” Avraham send an ange answered. “Hashem will l to go with you, and you back for my will bring a son. wife

102 THE WEEKLY PAR ASHAH

In addition to telling over the parashah, The Weekly Parashah includes:  Parashah Pointers

 Torah in our Lives Connecting the Torah’s teachings to our children’s lives

 Fascinating Facts

 Who’s Who in the Parashah A fascinating look at some of the people in the Torah

 Questions Anyone?

 Section listing all the sources A fantastic resource for parents and educators

A quick review of what’s in the parashah Interesting information related to the parashah. Thought-provoking questions and satisfying answers

Available at your local Hebrew bookseller or at www.artscroll.com • 1-800-MESORAH (637-6724)

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 | The Jewish Home

Dear Readers,

am sure that those of you who have children in school have been in and out of parent-teacher orientations over the past few weeks. And you probably have a few more to attend next week. Deep breath. There’s a lot to juggle in the first few weeks of school. Perhaps the busyness all started a few weeks ago when those two months of summer bliss came to a halt as children jumped off their camp buses on the last day of camp. Yay! Then it was I-need-to-entertain-the-kids-sothey-don’t-start-to-bicker time. You know, those many days between camp and school where you start to run out of ideas of things to do that can entertain children of all ages. And then, before you knew it, it was time to shop for school. That meant trying on uniforms, buying new school clothes, purchasing school supplies, and ordering new knapsacks. The kids needed haircuts; they needed shoes, and socks, and headbands. You get the point. You did it all and then school started. Why you’re at Staples again buying another binder is a good question. But we’re all doing it – buying extra notebooks and calculators – even though we thought we got all the school supplies before Labor Day. Now that school is here, we’re back into a needed routine but we’re still juggling – juggling carpools, and lunches, and homework, and tests. Good thing I remember how to multiply negative and positive integers because that was on the test this week! Oh, and I’m also happy that I know that yamma

Weekly Weather |

means west in Hebrew and kedem means east because that was on a test as well. Do my kids appreciate that they have a study partner who remembers middle school math and fourth grade Navi? I doubt it, but hopefully one day they’ll consider themselves lucky. It’s hard to believe that Rosh Hashana is less than two weeks away. When I mentioned the yomim tovim to my friend, she drew a visible deep breath. In her mind, she was already tallying up the challahs she needed to bake and stock her freezer with and the briskets that she needed to order and cook. Oh, and all those kugels and side dishes and soups that had to be made. It’s a lot – there are a lot of meals and a lot of people, thank G-d, to feed. And all those people need a variety of things to eat because who wants to eat apple cranberry crumble 15 meals in a row? Our lives are busy this time of year. We’re busy organizing menus and buying socks for our children’s new yom tov outfits. But when do we, as mothers, have time to look back on our year and reflect on our actions the past twelve months? That is the most important preparation we can do for the yomim tovim, and yet, it somehow gets lost in the day-to-day shuffle. I hope that over the next few days, in between challah dough and sautéed onions, I can spend a few minutes with myself and my Creator and reflect on a year gone by. Wishing you a wonderful week, Shoshana

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The Jewish Home is an independent weekly magazine. Opinions expressed by writers are not neces sarily the opinions of the publisher or editor. The Jewish Home is not responsible for typographical errors, or for the kashrus of any product or business advertised within. The Jewish Home contains words of Torah. Please treat accordingly.

Shabbos Zemanim

September 20 – September 26

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The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

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SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 | The Jewish Home

Contents LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

COMMUNITY Readers’ Poll

Community Happenings

For 10 Years, Legislator Kopel Has Been a Voice for Our Community 92 TJH Speaks with Dr. Jane R Zucker, Assistant Commissioner for the Bureau of Immunization 100 NEWS

Global

National

Odd-but-True Stories

ISRAEL Israel News

JEWISH THOUGHT Rabbi Wein

The Attitude Toward Privacy by Rav Moshe Weinberger

Parsha in Four

PEOPLE The Wandering Jew

Palmachim Airforce Base by Avi Heiligman

118

HEALTH & FITNESS The Key to Getting Beautiful Results by Dr. Deb Hirschhorn

102

Intuitive Eating by Dena Gershkovich

106

Back to Work Lunches by Cindy Weinberger, MS RD CDN

108

FOOD & LEISURE The Aussie Gourmet: Jewel-Tone Farro

109

LIFESTYLES

Dear Editor, It’s hard to believe that it’s almost Rosh Hashana because we just started school. But Rosh Hashana is coming closer, and I think that everyone should remember that Elul is a time to do teshuva and become better people. A lot of times people go around before Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur asking mechila. Why don’t we start to become nicer people in Elul? Why don’t we remember that Rosh Hashana is approaching and stop talking lashon hara about our teachers or siblings? I know that everyone always asks who your teachers are when you start school and then they tell you all about your teacher. But sometimes it could be not nice things like if she gives a lot of homework or is strict. We shouldn’t say those things. Let me decide if it’s a lot of homework or not. We should work on speaking nicely about others as we start the school year and prepare for Rosh Hashana. Thank you for printing my letter. Sincerely, Chana J., 9th Grade Dear Editor, Dr. Deb brought up wonderful points in her article, “How to Build Healthy Self Esteem in Your Child” (The Jewish Home, September 12, 2019). I particularly appreciate her

point of “process praise,” praising a child’s efforts, as opposed to a general “oh, you’re so smart, etc.” By telling kids, “I like how you put your dishes in the sink – that’s very responsible” your child will look at themselves as responsible individuals. Or when you tell your child, “You brought your sister a band-aid when she was bleeding. That was very caring,” your child will see themselves as a caring individual. And not only that, they will begin to understand what actions they can take to continue to be responsible or caring or kind people. They will further use these ideas throughout their lives to become more responsible/caring/ kind, etc. individuals. I would appreciate more child-raising articles in the future, as I am a mother of several children and I know that our parents would appreciate them as well. Thank you. Mrs. G. Klein Dear Editor, As there has been much controversy surrounding e-cigarettes, particularly amongst teenagers, I believe that this is something that the schools in the neighborhood need to be on top of. Schools need to speak about the dangers to help thwart teens from attempting this trend. There should be reminders around Continued on page 10

Dating Dialogue, Moderated by Jennifer 96 Mann, LCSW Leaving Kollel, Part III

104

How to Give Feedback Like a Boss by Rabbi Dr. Naphtali Hoff 116 I Had it a Minute Ago by Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., CLC, SDS

125

HUMOR Centerfold 80 POLITICAL CROSSFIRE Notable Quotes

110

The Smearing of Brett Kavanaugh Continues by Marc A. Thiessen

113

Trump Can Still Get a Win on Foreign Policy by Fareed Zakaria

114

China Disrupts the Middle East by Daniel Pipes

115

CLASSIFIEDS

120

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The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

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SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 | The Jewish Home

Continued from page 8

school about the dangers of vaping. And while we’re at it, why not hang up signs in the hallways showing the dangers of smoking regular cigarettes? If every school put up a photo of a pair of blackened, cancerous lungs in the halls where teenagers frequent, I doubt any teen would be tempted to put a cigarette in their mouths. We must get ahead of this trend. Teenagers are the most vulnerable,

as their brains are still developing. Vaping can lead to irreparable brain damage in teens, as cells that should be developing and growing are killed by the substances inside the e-cigarette. The NYC Health Department recently published findings that noted that 1 in 15 public middle school students had reported using e-cigs within the past 30 days. Those finding are insane and dangerous. We must nip it in the bud (pun intended). Chaim S. Wallin

Views expressed on the Letters to the Editor page do not necessarily reflect the views of The Jewish Home. Please send all correspondence to: editor@fivetownsjewishhome.com.

Kitzur Halachos

Rosh Hashanah & YOM KIPPUR KITZUR HALACHOS: ROSH HASHANAH & YOM KIPPUR, prefaced by HAGAON HARAV MATISYOHU SALOMON shlit”a, mashgiach of Beth Medrash Govoha, contains a thorough examination of all the halachos of the Yomim Noraim, based on the rulings of the Mishnah Berurah. The sefer clarifies hundreds of common and practical halachos in a clear and concise format.

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The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

ATTENTION: YESHIVOS & BAIS YAAKOVS JOIN THE 5TH ANNUAL INTERNATIONAL

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Join Dirshu’s Fifth International Yom Limud and Tefillah, together with thousands of Jews from around the world. Join with Yidden from across the globe, who will beseech Hakadosh Baruch Hu to spare us from any hardships, and bentch Klal Yisrael with a ‫שנת גאולה וישועה‬. Join Shuls, Kollelim, Yeshivos, Bais Yaakovs, Seminaries, and individuals worldwide, who will gather together for a day of tefillah and Limud HaTorah. You will receive booklets for your entire organization, filled with Tefillos, Divrei Torah, and educational stories appropriate for all ages. Don’t pass up on this incredible opportunity! YOU have a chance to be a part of this immensely powerful day.

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SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 | The Jewish Home

The Week In News

Iran: We Didn’t Attack Saudi Oil Supply

Iran denies being behind this weekend’s massive aerial attack on two Saudi Arabian oil refineries that shut down 50% of the kingdom’s oil exports. The Houthi rebels in Yemen had

claimed responsibility for the attack on Saturday evening. However, their claims were rejected by the United States due to the fact that their militia is not known to have such advanced targeting capabilities. According to U.S. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, the drones were most likely launched by Iranian militias in Iraq. He accused Iran of “an unprecedented attack on the world’s energy supply.” Tehran hit back at the claims and warned that U.S. bases in the Persian Gulf are within range of its missiles. “Having failed at ‘max pressure,’ [Pompeo is] turning to ‘max deceit,’” tweeted Iranian Foreign Minister Javad Zarif. “Everybody should know that all American bases and their aircraft carriers in a distance of up to 2,000km around Iran are within the range of our missiles,” added Iranian Revolutionary Guards Corps’ air force chief Amirali Hajizadeh. The Iraqi government also denied reports “about its land being used to attack Saudi oil facilities.” The drone attack destroyed Saudi Arabian oil refineries in Khurais

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and Abqaiq, causing a massive inferno that forced state oil company Aramco to take the two installations offline. The attack, which is the most serious in the country’s history, caused Saudi Arabia to halt half of its oil production and affected 5% of the total global daily output. It could take months for the country to be able to resume at full operations once again. In addition, the drone attack will likely cause oil prices to rise as a result of fears for the safety of the world’s oil supplies.

Russia Asks Interpol to Locate Spy in U.S. Russian President Vladimir Putin has asked international law enforcement agency Interpol for help in tracking down a spy for the U.S. who had been living in Russia and is currently believed to be hiding within the United States. Earlier this month, CNN reported that the CIA had extracted Oleg

Smolenkov in June 2017 while he was vacationing in Montenegro. The CIA had reportedly been fearful of leaks in the U.S. government and decided to whisk him to safety.

Russia filed an official request with Interpol asking for its assistance in locating Smolenkov. While Russian intelligence was reportedly aware of Smolenkov’s treachery and current location, it has ramped up its response ever since the report first aired. “A citizen of Russia disappeared on the territory of a foreign state along with his family,” said Russian foreign ministry spokeswoman Maria Zakharova. “Two years later, American media throws up a story about how he is in the United States.… Interpol was presented

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

EVERYBODY KNOWS SOMEBODY FROM THE MIR. THE YUNGERLEIT OF THE MIR ARE COUNTING ON YOU. Whether through a family member or your community, you are likely connected to Mir talmidim. You now have a chance to make a real difference. Whether you have not donated to the Mir in the past two years, or you

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SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 | The Jewish Home

Yuval’s father was murdered in a drive by shooting attack.

Tiferet OneFamily counsellor

or, Defeating terrm one Day at a ti e

with questions regarding the disappearance of a foreign citizen and his presence on the territory of the United States. “Of course, this information needs checking with all the required procedures and standards. In this case, through Interpol, we posed a question to Washington about the disappearance of a Russian citizen and him being in the U.S.,” added Zakharova. Observers say that Russia’s strident response to reports about the mole is likely intended to cover up its embarrassment over the intelligence failure. Smolenkov had been close to Putin’s inner circle and had even worked for a while in his administration; the fact that such a senior official was spying for the United States has left Moscow red-faced. Soon after the report was released, though, Russia dismissed the “spy scandal” and alleged that it was an invention of the U.S. media “because an electoral campaign has begun in the United States.”

home to barely 700 residents – says he knows what it means to see old traditions and historical places fall into oblivion and wants to stop the decline in its tracks. “The goal is to breathe new life and revamp the local economy,” he added. “Newcomers are free to kickstart anything they please in order to get our financial support: a small inn, restaurant, bar, B&B, a tiny rural farm, artisan boutique, library or shop selling local gourmet excellences.” Thousands of people have left Molise in recent years. Official statistics say the number of people living there has fallen by almost 9,000 since 2014, pushing the region’s population to just 305,000. Now one of Italy’s most depopulated regions, 106 of its 136 towns have fewer than 2,000 residents. Younger people have been migrating to bigger cities and towns in search of better business opportunities.

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Looking to relocate? Italy is making it easy. The region of Molise is offering people more than $27,000 to relocate to one of its small villages. The 106 underpopulated villages in the region boast green pastures, olive groves, and snowy mountaintops. But it won’t all be rolling hills and luscious fruits for new residents. They’ll also be required to start a small business to contribute to the local economy. Anyone who takes up the offer will receive 700 euros a month (about $770) for up to three years. “I want my region to undergo a renaissance and avoid its authentic villages turning into ghost towns,” Antonio Tedeschi, a regional councilor who came up with the idea, explained. “We need to safeguard our roots.” Tedeschi, who was born in the small Molise village of Filignano –

China has been barring American citizens from leaving the country as a way to pressure them into cooperating with authorities in the country’s struggle against the United States. Known as exit bans, the tactic of inventing false legal reasons to prevent Americans from returning home has become increasingly common in China. While the regime has employed such measures against its own citizenry for years, it has never dared to use them against Americans until recently. “We don’t have firm numbers in terms of exactly how many people, on either the Chinese side or the international side, have been subjected to exit bans … but we know that the number is quite large,” said Thomas Kellogg, the executive director of the Center for Asian Law at Georgetown University Law Center.

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Kellogg told USA Today that the increase is likely connected to the trade war between the U.S. and China that has ratcheted up tensions between the two sides. With President Trump having levied hundreds of billions of dollars’ worth of tariffs on China, Kellogg says that the growing use of exit bans is likely a way for Beijing to pressure Washington. The United States is well aware of China’s new harassment techniques against U.S. citizens. In January, the State Department released an official travel advisory warning tourists to be wary of China’s exit bans. “China uses exit bans coercively to compel U.S. citizens to participate in Chinese government investigations, to lure individuals back to China from abroad, and to aid Chinese authorities in resolving civil disputes in favor of Chinese parties,” read the warning. “China does not recognize dual nationality. U.S.-Chinese citizens and U.S. citizens of Chinese heritage may be subject to additional scrutiny and harassment, and China may prevent the U.S. Embassy from providing consular services.”

17M in Ecuador Affected by Data Breach

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Maria Paula Romo. The security company vpnMentor uncovered the breach on the server run by the firm Novaestrat, which included citizens’ full names, dates and places of birth, education levels, phone numbers and national identity card numbers. Data on the country’s president and on Julian Assange, the WikiLeaks founder who had applied for asylum in Ecuador and who had been holed up in the Ecuadorian embassy in London before being arrested by British police this year, were also compromised in the massive breach.

Blackout Strikes 4 Countries

A failure in Central America’s electrical grid left millions of people without power for hours in at least four countries – Honduras, Nicara-

gua, El Salvador and Guatemala – on Monday. Honduras was the country hardest hit, with the entirety of its territory and its more than 9 million inhabitants affected. Traffic snarled as more than 600 stoplights went dark in the capital, Tegucigalpa. Leonardo Deras of Honduras’ state electric company said at a news conference that the problem arose from an overload at a substation on the Caribbean coast. Salvador Mansell, president of Nicaragua’s state power transmission company, Enatrel, said the blackout hit his country’s capital, Managua, and its main departments, or provinces. There are about 600,000 paying customers for electricity in the country. Internet service and water distribution in parts of the capital, which relies on pumps, were also knocked out. Power began to be restored in the afternoon. Honduras’ government said the process would take three or four hours. El Salvador and Guatemala also had partial outages. The four nations plus Costa Rica and Panama have shared a linked electrical network since the late 1980s.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

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Runoff Expected in Tunisia Netanyahu Planned to Invade Gaza after Rocket Strike

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This week, it will be confirmed that a runoff between law professor Kais Saied and imprisoned media mogul Nabil Karoui will be taking place in Tunisia’s presidential election. With almost 90 percent of ballots counted, Saied was set to advance to the next round, with 18.8 percent of the vote ahead of Karoui, who had 15.7 percent, according to the electoral commission, ISIE. Depending on if any appeals are launched, the second round could be organized for October 6, the same day as legislative elections, or on October 13, ISIE said. The two candidates – though very different – have drawn on the same “anti-system” sentiment among the electorate, spurred by exasperation with the status quo. Unemployment plagues about 15 percent of the population in Tunisia, especially young graduates, while inflation eats away at already low incomes. Tunisian voters on Sunday “preferred to venture into the unknown rather than extend a hand again to those who betrayed their hopes,” Le Quotidien newspaper said. Karoui’s arrest in the runup to the election cemented his status as an outsider, despite being a longtime key supporter of President Beji Caid Essebsi, whose death on July 25 brought forward the polls. Karoui remains eligible to run despite his imprisonment, as long as any conviction does not also specifically deprive him of his civil rights. Saied, a fiercely independent academic, advocates a radical decentralization of power, with a local democracy and the ability to remove elected officials from office during their mandates.

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu reportedly planned on embarking on a massive operation in Gaza last week after being rushed off the stage at an election rally due to rocket fire. Bibi had been speaking at a Likud rally in Ashdod when the air raid sirens sounded. He was hastily rushed to safety by his bodyguards while the crowd chanted his name. His escape under fire was heavily criticized, and Netanyahu was mocked by both his political allies and rivals alike. Later that night, Netanyahu’s spokesperson released a photograph of the premier meeting with the IDF Chief of Staff, the head of the Mossad and Shin Bet intelligence services, and National Security Advisor Meir Ben Shabbat. Netanyahu appeared tense in the photograph – the decision to release a picture of the highly sensitive consultation was highly unusual. Later that night, Israeli warplanes launched a series of attacks on Hamas and Palestinian Islamic Jihad positions throughout the Gaza Strip. The airstrikes were routine and were no different from the thousands of similar retaliatory bombings the Israeli Air Force has carried out in recent years. Yet, according to a new report, Netanyahu had ordered a massive operation in Gaza that would have hit hundreds of high value targets. The assault would likely have led to war. Netanyahu had received significant pushback from senior defense officials, who questioned the timing of going to war so close to election day. The plan was so close to fruition that Meir Ben-Shabbat instructed

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SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 | The Jewish Home

Israel at an Impasse

s Israel going to be thrown into another round of elections? Israelis hope not, but the numbers coming from Tuesday’s elections are of possibly concern. With 89.8 percent of votes having been counted by the Central Elections Committee, Benny Gantz’s centrist Blue and White party on Wednesday was projected to secure 32 seats in the Knesset, edging ahead of Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s Likud, which stood at 31 seats. In the official count, the Gantzled center-left-Arab bloc has a slight advantage over the Netanyahu-led right-religious bloc with 56 seats versus 55. In the middle are the nine seats of Yisrael Beytenu, whose leader, MK Avigdor Liberman, has vowed to force Likud and Blue and White into a unity government. The Joint List, an alliance of mostly Arab parties, stands at third with 13 seats, followed by the ultra-Orthodox Shas and Yisrael Beytenu, both with nine seats. Bringing up the rear are the ultra-Orthodox United Torah Judaism (8), the nationalist alliance Yamina (7), center-left Labor-Gesher (6) and the leftist Democratic Camp (5).

The tally was announced at noon and was not final, with votes from Arab population centers expected to be finished shortly, followed by counts of the votes cast by soldiers, diplomats, and patients in Israeli hospitals, among others. Liberman on Wednesday reiterated his insistence on a unity government comprising his party, Blue and White, and Likud but said he wouldn’t start coalition negotiations with any party unless it accepts his list of demands for secularist policy changes. The Yisrael Beytenu leader told reporters outside his home that “there is only one option: a broad unity government.” “The picture is clear and one seat here or there won’t make any difference,” he added. In his first public comments the day after elections, Gantz said on Wednesday morning that he hoped for a “good unity government.” “We’re waiting for the official results. For a long time we were busy with the campaign,” Gantz said outside his home in Rosh Ha’ayin. “I wish for the people of Israel a good unity government, that the [po-

litical] system will calm down a little bit and we can start moving,” he said. Likud officials have reached out to Labor chairman Amir Peretz in an effort to convince him to join a coalition along with the ultra-Orthodox parties and Yamina, Haaretz reported. Peretz quickly declined the offer, saying he is only interested in replacing Netanyahu. United Torah Judaism chairman Yaakov Litzman said his ultra-Orthodox party will stick with Netanyahu “until the end.” The next several weeks are expected to heavily feature coalition wrangling, as parties attempt to jockey to form a government. In the last elections in April, Blue and White managed to tie Likud, but Netanyahu, who has been prime minister for 10 years, was given the first chance to form a government. He failed when Liberman refused to join unless a bill formalizing exemptions

to mandatory military service for yeshiva students was passed as is, a demand flatly rejected by the premier’s ultra-Orthodox coalition partners. The mandate never passed to Gantz, with Likud instead engineering new elections. President Reuven Rivlin, who decides whom to task with forming a government, has promised to do what he can to avoid a third round of voting. Forming a new government will require compromise – and Israelis, as we know, are generally known for their strong commitment to their ideals. Who will blink first will be the deciding factor in who will be leading the State of Israel for the next few years. Voter turnout on Tuesday outpaced voting levels from the elections earlier this year, bucking predictions of a drop in participation in the repeat poll. Turnout as polls closed was at 69.4 percent, up from 68.5% in April.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

the Central Elections Committee to make plans to push off Tuesday’s elections. IDF Chief of Staff Aviv Kochavi also vehemently opposed embarking on an extensive campaign, saying that the military needed more time to prepare and call up the reserves. The proposal was eventually shelved after Attorney General Avichai Mandelblit ruled that Netanyahu needed cabinet approval to launch any strike that was liable to lead to war. Netanyahu’s readiness to plunge the country into a new round of fighting so close to elections reportedly shocked defense chiefs, who now allege that the prime minister was motivated by political calculations and not military ones.

Gov’t Legalizes Israeli Village in Jordan Valley

the right to legalize an outpost in the West Bank. Mandelblit eventually dropped his opposition after a long meeting between Netanyahu’s advisors and Justice Ministry officials on Sunday. Speaking from a rare cabinet meeting in the Jordan Valley, the first since 2001, Netanyahu promised that the legalization of the small village was the first step towards annexing all of the Jordan Valley settlements. “We will apply sovereignty in the Jordan Valley and the Northern Dead Sea as soon as the next government is established in the next Knesset,” Netanyahu said, adding that he had already tasked a team to work on annexing 31 villages throughout the strategic valley. “This is a historic moment,” added Likud Science and Technology Minister Ofir Akunis. “This is our land. This is an ancient land of the people of Israel. “We are here, not only with a cabinet meeting but with a decision about a new settlement not far from here, Mevo’ot Yericho. This is the first step toward Israeli sovereignty on the Jordan Valley.”

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Israel’s Unwitting Arab Spy

Low Monthly Contributions Starting at: A new bombshell report illustrates how Israeli intelligence successfully recruited a senior Arab official to spy for them – without his knowledge. The report, which was published by the Yediot Aharonot newspaper, provides a rare look into the IDF’s Unit 504. The top-secret Unit 504 is tasked with running agents into surrounding Arab countries, and its operations are highly classified. According to the story, Israel began targeting the unnamed senior Arab official known under the code name “Torpedo” five years ago. After realizing that he knew information that is crucial to Israel’s security, a complex and lengthy operation was launched.

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Israel’s government voted to legalize the Jordan Valley outpost of Mevo’ot Yeriho on Sunday after Attorney General Avichai Mandeblit dropped his opposition to the move. The small 30-family settlement will now be fully legal, enabling it to access government funding regarding infrastructure, transportation, zoning, etc. Prime Minister Netanyahu had announced the move last week following his declaration that he would annex the entire Jordan Valley if given opportunity to form the next government. According to reports, Netanyahu had planned to do so even before Israelis go to the polls but was deterred by fierce opposition from the heads of the IDF and the Shin Bet. However, Netanyahu’s plan to legalize Mevo’ot Yeriho was stymied by Mandelblit, who ruled that a caretaker government does not have

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First, 504 agents gathered information about his surroundings with a focus on whether his frequent trips abroad to meet with them would attract unwanted scrutiny. Israeli intelligence officers then began a business relationship with his distant cousin on a totally unrelated subject. During one of the meetings with the consultant, a 504 agent casually mentioned that he was looking for information that Torpedo had access to. As expected, the consultant volunteered that his relative possessed such information and set up a meeting between Torpedo and 504 personnel. “While collecting the information about Torpedo I discovered he has an acquaintance, a distant relative, who lives abroad and had previously had a connection with a certain field,” recalled the 504 agent known only as “Dalet.” “I contacted that acquaintance online and started asking him about topics he is an expert on. He was happy to cooperate. “He told me about a relative of his who is a senior official in that country. He explained that due to his position he is close to many officials, well-connected,” Dalet added. “I told him I would think about the ideas floated during our correspondence, and that I would come back with an answer. “My goal was to give the impression that I’m not eager, not in a hurry. I want to create suspense. That he will check his email inbox every day and wait for my answer.” After months of prodding, the official ended up agreeing to provide 504 with intelligence. 504 intelligence officers stressed that they were careful to give him the impression that what they were getting from him was of minor importance in order not to deter him. Yet, due to the official’s known hostility towards the Jewish State, 504 agents never divulged to him who he was working for. Currently, Torpedo remains on Israel’s payroll but has no idea that he is providing information to an “enemy” state. “We always aim high, toward sources with a high intelligence value, in very important roles,” said the commander of the operation. “That necessarily increases the level of difficulty, because whoever reached such a senior position is already older and more experienced, alert and suspicious.”

Israel: White House Spy Story is False Senior Israeli intelligence officials, as well as top politicians, are vigorously denying that Israel has been spying on the White House after a recent report maintained that they did. Last week, three senior U.S. government officials told Politico that Israel had covertly installed surveillance devices around the White House in order to spy on President Trump and his advisors. Known as StingRays, the devices act as cellphone towers in order to intercept calls and mark locations, amongst other sensitive information they collect. After these devices were exposed, they were examined by the FBI, who concluded that they were installed by Israel. Yet the allegations were hotly denied by Israeli officials, who said that it was inconceivable that Israel would spy on the U.S. after the Jonathan Pollard affair. In the 1980s, Israel had used Pollard, a Jewish U.S. Navy intelligence analyst, to collect sensitive intelligence information. The resulting blowup caused some of the worst damage to Israel’s relationship with the United States in its history and led to Pollard spending an exorbitant three decades behind bars. Since then, Israel has reportedly been careful to never spy on the U.S. in order to avoid risking a repeat of the saga. “Can I tell you from personal knowledge that it’s not happening today? No. Could someone have lost it completely in some upper echelon of the government? I don’t know. But based on everything I know, it’s totally false,” former Deputy National Security Advisor Chuck Freilich told The Times of Israel. “Pollard was an aberration, and after him, it was decided that this should never happen again.” Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, meanwhile, dismissed the report as a “blatant lie” lacking even “the tiniest scintilla of truth.” “There is a longstanding commitment, and a directive from the Israeli government, not to engage in any intelligence operations in the U.S. This directive is strictly enforced without exception,” asserted Netanyahu in a statement. President Trump also rejected the

SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 | The Jewish Home

allegations, telling reporters at the White House that he doesn’t think Israel would ever spy on the United States. “I don’t believe that, no, I don’t believe the Israelis were spying on us. I really would find that hard to believe,” Trump said. “My relationship with Israel has been great,” Trump added. “Anything is possible, but I don’t believe it.”

Soldiers Revive Town on Gaza Border A recent Channel 13 report published the unusual story of how one IDF soldier convinced 28 other soldiers to move to Kibbutz Kerem Shalom, a very dangerous village located a few feet from the Gaza Border. “Aleph” is a soldier serving in an IDF intelligence unit tasked with uncovering Gaza’s terror tunnels. Due to the sensitivity of his position, neither his full name nor a picture of his face was allowed to be published. After growing up in Gush Etzion, Aleph was drafted into the Kfir Bri-

gade, an infantry unit tasked with counter-terror missions. After being injured in a training accident, he was deactivated from combat service and transferred to the classified unit in which he still serves today.

“There is a moment when the person drilling says, ‘We feel something here,’ and you insert the camera, and that’s it, you know you succeeded. You understand that you have saved lives,” Aleph said. “In my job, there’s no room for mistakes. If I miss something, maybe in a few months people will come out of a tunnel and kill civilians.” After transferring to the anti-tunnel unit, Aleph began to become acquainted with Kibbutz Kerem Shalom due to its proximity to his base. He was immediately struck by the low morale rife among Kerem Sha-

lom residents. Following years of bombardments by Hamas terrorists, many residents had moved away. Meanwhile, Kerem Shalom wasn’t receiving any new residents to replace them, leading those remaining to fear that their beloved town would wither away and die. After becoming close to several of the townspeople, Aleph decided to leave the Gush Etzion home he grew up in and move to Kerem Shalom. The decision was extremely unusual; Israelis almost never move out of their parents’ homes during their mandatory military service barring extenuating circumstances at home. Before moving in, Aleph put out a public call on social media asking other conscripts to join in. One person answered and then another, and they brought their friends with them. Within a month, 28 soldiers are living on the kibbutz, something that has drastically changed the resi-

dents’ lives for the better. On one Shabbat walk in Kerem Shalom “one of the residents sat next to me and said, ‘It’s great to see young life in this place,’ and in that moment something clicked. I decided that I would move to live there,” recalled Aleph. During their leave, the nearly three dozen soldiers have made revamping the kibbutz into their personal project. From painting houses to planting new trees, the troops have embraced the kibbutz, and the kibbutz has embraced them in return. “They brought in a young spirit to the kibbutz,” one community member told Channel 13. “They brought in new energy. At the beginning we didn’t know how to feed them. We thought that they would come and be here for dix months or a year then disappear. But they’re here, and it looks like they’re here to stay. We hope so.”

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Elderly people commonly have a drastically decreased social life. With physical ailments making it harder to get out, the number of friendships an aging citizen has often drops as the years pass. However, a new study contends that having a robust social life is the key to avoiding dementia among people in their 50s and 60s. Undertaken by researchers at University College London, the study says that it found evidence of the positive impact a social life has on dementia prevention. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Dementia is a major global health challenge, with one million people expected to have dementia in the UK by 2021, but we also know that one in three cases are potentially preventable,â&#x20AC;? said Dr. Andrew Sommerlad, who led the study. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Here weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve found that social contact, in middle age and late life, appears to lower the risk of dementia. This finding could feed into strategies to reduce everyoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s risk of developing dementia, adding yet another reason to promote connected communities and find ways to reduce isolation and loneliness,â&#x20AC;? he said. In order to carry out the study, researchers examined 10,228 people who had already participated in six different surveys between 1985 and 2013. While unrelated, the participants had given information relevant to the overall study, such as the number of friends they had and how often they got to see them. In addition, the participants took a test measuring their cognitive functions since 1997, allowing researchers to track both their social life and whether they had developed dementia. After analyzing the data, researchers found that those having a rich social life at the age of 60 and above had a decreased chance of developing dementia. According to the findings, a 60-year-old that had daily get-togeth-

ers with friends was 12% less likely to be stricken with the disease than someone of the same age who only saw his friends on a monthly basis. The findings were replicated for people aged 50 and 70 but were not statistically absolute to be able to draw conclusions. However, survey authors say that it is still possible to deduce from the data that a rich social life at any age has a positive influence on overall health. â&#x20AC;&#x153;People who are socially engaged are exercising cognitive skills such as memory and language, which may help them to develop cognitive reserve. While it may not stop their brains from changing, cognitive reserve could help people cope better with the effects of age and delay any symptoms of dementia,â&#x20AC;? said Professor Gill Livingston. He added, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Spending more time with friends could also be good for mental wellbeing, and may correlate with being physically active, both of which can also reduce the risk of developing dementia.â&#x20AC;?

Justice Robertsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Change of Heart

A last-minute change of heart saw Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts vote against the inclusion of a question regarding U.S. citizenship on the upcoming U.S. census. Instead, Roberts voted to prevent the administration from adding the question, becoming the deciding fifth vote and gifting immigration advocates a major victory. A new CNN report details Robertsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; misgivings over the case in the days leading up to his final vote. The case had revolved around whether or not Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross had overstepped his legal boundaries by including a question on the 2020 U.S. census that asked whether or not the person responding to the census is a U.S. citizen. Taken at the beginning of every decade, census data is utilized when

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cepted many of the Trump administration’s legal arguments, the judge wrote that he had found “a significant mismatch between the decision the Secretary made and the rationale he provided.” The ruling enraged President Trump, who took to Twitter to express his displeasure. “Can anyone really believe that as a great Country, we are not able the ask whether or not someone is a Citizen,” Trump wrote. “Only in America!” Roberts’ flip-flopping also caused Republicans to wonder if the once reliably conservative jurist had crossed over to the liberal wing of the court. With Roberts having cast the decisive vote in 2012 that upheld Obamacare as constitutional, conservatives now say that their ostensibly 5-4 majority is not as rock-solid as once thought.

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allotting government funds and congressional districts across the United States. Pro-immigration advocates charge that adding the question would discourage illegal immigrants from participating in the census, leaving states with large immigrant populations shortchanged. According to CNN, Roberts was first inclined to rule in favor of the Trump administration. During the court hearings in February and April,

Roberts asked a series of questions indicating that he saw no legal issue with asking census takers whether or not they were residing in the U.S. legally. But Roberts soon began to have his doubts. While Ross told the court that he had included the controversial question in order to enforce the 1965 Voting Rights Act, Roberts believed that his rationale was contrived. Rather, the jurist thought

that Ross wanted to scare off Latinos from answering the census, enabling Republicans to gerrymander districts across the United States in their favor. His doubts regarding Ross’s honesty caused him to change his vote at the last minute and hand the Trump administration a stunning defeat. Roberts’ rationale can be seen in the 29-page census ruling he penned explaining his decision. While he ac-

The Center for Disease Control (CDC) is continuing its probe into the origins of a new lung disease caused by e-cigarettes that has already led to the death of seven people. The CDC said in a statement that U.S. health officials have succeeded in locating 380 cases of the disease in 36 different states and the U.S. Virgin Islands. The revised number is lower than the 450 possible cases the CDC reported last week. Those who have become ill are reported to be living in Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Iowa, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maryland, Michigan, Minnesota, North Carolina, North Dakota, Nebraska, New Jersey, New Mexico, Nevada, New York, Ohio, Oregon, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Virginia, Washington, Wisconsin, West Virginia, and the U.S. Virgin Islands. The cause of the disease is still

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

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unclear, and health officials have not been able to pin it down to a specific e-cigarette. However, the CDC recommends that Americans refrain from using such products until the cause for its sudden spread is pinpointed. “Until we know more, if you are concerned about these specific health risks, CDC recommends that you consider refraining from using an e-cigarette or vaping products,” wrote the CDC on its website. “If you are an adult who used e-cigarettes containing nicotine to quit cigarette smoking, do not return to smoking cigarettes,” the CDC added. “If you have recently used an e-cigarette or vaping product and you have symptoms like those reported in this outbreak see a healthcare provider.” The disease first started to spread earlier this month and is believed to be associated with chemicals commonly found in electronic cigarettes. Many of the patients currently battling the lung disease had reported vaping a THC product while vaping, while a smaller group used regular e-cigarettes shortly before falling ill.

Trump Rolls Back EPA Regulation

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The Trump administration recently rolled back a deeply unpopular EPA regulation long decried by farmers as a license to infringe on their private property. First passed by the Obama administration, the 2015 Waters of the United States (WOTUS) rule dramatically expanded the ability of the government to regulate land use. While it widened protections for lakes and streams on private property, the law infuriated farmers and manufacturers by restricting what they could do on their own land. As a result of the law, the EPA would routinely order farmers to cease working their land if a small stream or lake ran through it. The antipathy to the law led a slew of state

attorney generals to file legal action against the U.S. government in recent years. In announcing the move, EPA Administrator Andrew Wheeler said that his agency would adopt the definition of what constitutes a waterway that was first issued in the 1980s. The move is part of an effort by the Trump administration to crack down on environmental regulations that stifle business from growing. “We’re delivering on the president’s regulatory reform agenda,” Wheeler said. “Today’s Step 1 action fulfills a key promise of President Trump and sets the stage for Step 2: a new WOTUS definition that will provide greater regulatory certainty for farmers, landowners, homebuilders and developers nationwide.” The regulatory rollback was praised by farmers and politicians from America’s heartland whose farmers had borne the brunt of the now-defunct law. In a statement, Iowa Senator Joni Ernst commended Trump for “scrapping Obama’s burdensome rule,” which she said put a regulatory burden on her constituents. “I’m thrilled to see the Trump administration take decisive action that will remove this threat to Iowa’s farmers, manufacturers, and small businesses, and get us one step closer to providing the predictability and certainty hardworking folks across the country deserve,” said Ernst. The change was condemned by environmental groups as a nod to big business that would poison America’s drinking water. “President Trump’s administration wants to turn back the clock to the days of poisoned flammable water. This is shameful and dangerous,” said Abigail Dillen, president of Earthjustice.

Pharma Giant Files for Bankruptcy

Purdue Pharma, one of the biggest drug companies in the United

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 | The Jewish Home

States, announced this week that it will file for bankruptcy as part of a settlement to the barrage of lawsuits over its role in America’s opioid epidemic. The maker of the drug OxyContin is fighting more than 2,000 lawsuits from states and private individuals over its failure to stop the abuse of its painkiller. As part of a massive settlement, the billionaire Sackler family that owns Purdue said that it would shut the company down. In addition, Purdue will also pay billions of dollars to state governments in compensation. However, the company stressed that the payouts are designed to fight the opioid crisis and are not an admission of guilt. “This court-supervised process is intended to, among other things, facilitate an orderly and equitable resolution of all claims against Purdue, while preserving the value of Purdue’s assets for the benefit of those impacted by the opioid crisis,” said the company. “This settlement framework avoids wasting hundreds of millions of dollars and years on protracted litigation, and instead will provide billions of dollars and critical resources to communities

across the country trying to cope with the opioid crisis.” Purdue had come under fire for not doing more to contain the widespread abuse of OxyContin. The drug has fueled a deadly opioid epidemic that has resulted in hundreds of thousands of deaths over the past few years, with 70,000 Americans dying from overdoses in 2018 alone.

Bees: Natural Fungicide?

The EPA (Environmental Protection Agency) has approved an organic fungicide which can be transferred from bees to produce and may serve to replace chemical insecticides commonly used on crops. Bee Vectoring Technologies, a Canadian company, is responsible for the development of Vectorite, a

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white powder placed in trays outside the hives of honeybees or bumblebees. When the bees exit their hives, they become coated with the substance, which they go on to deposit when they travel from plant to plant. The bees are not harmed in this process. Vectorite is made of a form of the clonostachys rosea fungus, which feeds on other forms of fungi that can be damaging to produce. The fungicide has been used in commercial-size test fields in Florida, resulting in increased yields of more than 10%, demonstrating the product’s cost effectiveness as well as benefits to the environment. “The beautiful part about our system is that you can deliver multiple microbes through that one flight the bees make, provided the microbes are safe to the bee,” noted Bee Vectoring Technologies CEO Ashish Malik. BVT has previously projected that by controlling crop diseases, as more fruit hits stores, some of it may have a longer shelf life. Their early estimate was up to 10-12 additional days of ripeness.

Beto is Gunning for Your Guns

Last week, Texas Congressman Beto O’Rourke led a rousing call to confiscate certain types of rifles from Americans, positioning him as the most radical of the increasingly pro-gun control Democratic Party. During Thursday’s Democratic primary debate in Houston, O’ Rourke answered a question regarding how he planned to reduce mass shootings by pledging to confiscate all AR-15 style rifles. The AR-15 is a weapon modeled after the M-16 and M-4 assault rifles used by the U.S. military and has become controversial among Democrats due to its popularity with mass shooters. “Yes, we’re going to take your AR15, your AK-47,” O’Rourke said to rousing applause. “We’re not going

to allow it to be used against our fellow Americans anymore.” The congressman added that he met with Americans at a gun show who told him that they would have no problem with the rifle being made illegal. O’Rourke’s remark is the latest call for sweeping gun reform among Democratic presidential candidates. However, while each of the dozen lawmakers looking to unseat President Trump in the 2020 election has come out in support of expanded gun control, none of them has pledged to forcibly confiscate weapons from law-abiding citizens. While popular among the Democratic Party base, O’Rourke’s call to forcibly take away rifles from millions of Americans caused consternation within the party. A slew of lawmakers condemned his remarks, which they said would only increase voter turnout for President Trump among fearful gun enthusiasts. Speaking to CNN on Friday, a senior Democratic aide said that O’Rourke “only feeds into the NRA’s narrative that Democrats are going to take away your guns.” “If Beto wants to actually solve of these problems, he should help negotiate or encourage his colleagues to pass common-sense background checks,” he said. “If Beto really wanted to help, he would end his failing presidential campaign and run for Senate and give Democrats the vote they’d need.” O’Rourke defended his call for gun confiscation by contending that the idea is far more popular among ordinary Americans than generally thought. “It’s not a concern of mine and that’s in part informed by listening to people in conservative parts of America and the southwestern part of Virginia,” he said. “The folks in Bland County, as conservative as it might be, as proud a gun owner as they might be, they’re talking about this issue. And folks are saying, ‘Look, I would give up that AR-15 or that AK-47. I don’t need it to hunt, don’t need it to defend myself in my home.’ They recognize this is a weapon designed for war, to kill people as effectively, as efficiently, and in as great a number as possible.” With poll numbers in the low single digits, O’ Rourke has been under pressure to drop out of the presidential race in order to contend for Republican Senator John Cornyn’s Senate seat in 2020.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

Journalist Cokie Roberts Dies

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Former New York Yankees closer Mariano Rivera – a five-time World Series champ and the first man unanimously elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame – received the Presidential Medal of Freedom in a ceremony with President Trump on Monday. Trump, a Yankees fan, praised Rivera, a Panama native who became a U.S. citizen, as “maybe the greatest pitcher of all time.” “Throughout Mariano’s incredible career, he remained a humble man with a deep Christian faith. The L-rd doesn’t care about wealth or fame. The L-rd cares about goodness and love in our hearts,” the president said. The White House ceremony made references to Rivera’s playing career, including playing Metallica’s “Enter Sandman,” Rivera’s theme song. Trump and Rivera walked into the East Room to the closer’s intro song. The Presidential Medal of Freedom is the nation’s highest civilian honor. Rivera followed in the footsteps of other great athletes – Tiger Woods and Jerry West – who received the award earlier this year. Rivera played with the Yankees his entire career, from 1995 to 2013, establishing himself as the greatest closer in Major League Baseball history and becoming renowned for his performances in high-pressure situations. Rivera recorded a record 652 saves during the course of his career and led the majors in saves three times: in 1999, 2001 and 2004. He finished in the top five of American

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League Cy Young Award voting five times. Aside from a devastating knee injury that cost him most of the 2012 season, Rivera routinely appeared in more than 60 games per year and only posted an ERA above 2.50 three times. Rivera has been active during the Trump administration, voicing support for the president. “Mr. President Trump to me, he was a friend of mine before he became president,” Rivera said in an interview on Fox News in July. “So, because he’s president I will turn my back on him? No. I respect him. I respect what he does and I believe he’s doing the best for the United States of America.”

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The largest city in Minnesota has been hit with a series of brutal assaults as its police force dwindles and the city’s robbery rates continues to skyrocket. More than 6,000 “priority one” 911 calls were in made in the period of a year for which police didn’t have an officer immediately able to respond in Minneapolis. Citizens are being beaten up in broad daylight. After 23 robberies in a single week in August, police conducted a three-day sweep in downtown which led to 16 arrests. The city’s population has grown by almost 50,000 people since 2010, while the number of officers has “remained stagnant,” Mayor Jacob Frey said in his 2020 budget address that proposed adding 14 officers. Police Chief Medaria Arradondo had called for adding 400 officers by 2025, but the mayor reportedly said it’s not doable because of the budget. The pool of applicants is also smaller than it used to be, noted Bob Kroll, president of the Minnesota Police Officers Union, who estimates applicants are about one-fifth the number they were around 30 years ago. “We’re gonna get smaller, before we get any bigger,” Kroll predicted.

NYS Bans Sale of Flavored E-Cigs

New York’s Governor Andrew Cuomo announced on Monday that he is banning the sale of flavored electronic cigarettes in his state via an emergency order. Under the new ban, all e-cigarette flavors other than menthol and tobacco would be illegal. The ban will also be accompanied by a general law enforcement crackdown, as state troopers will begin targeting unlicensed e-cigarette dealers and retailers who sell such products to underage teens. Speaking at a Manhattan press conference, Cuomo said that he had decided to issue the sweeping ban in order to lower the spiraling addiction rates to vaping products. The governor cited a number of statistics he said justified taking the products off the market. According to the governor, 68% of e-cigarette smokers use flavored products, which have become extremely popular among teenagers. New York’s top elected official added that 64 of his constituents have fallen ill with vaping-related lung diseases in this past year alone, while vaping rates among high schoolers has jumped 160% since 2015. “Vaping is dangerous. It’s addicting millions of young people to nicotine at a very early age, some would argue earlier than cigarettes actually introduced young people to…nicotine,” Cuomo said. “Names like bubble gum, cotton candy, Cap’n Crunch – these are obviously targeted to young people and highly effective at targeting young people.” The governor also brushed back on claims that e-cigarettes are healthier than regular cigarettes due to their lower levels of nicotine and smoke. Vaping companies had embarked on a widespread media campaign in recent months highlighting the alleged health benefits of e-cigarettes over traditional ones in an effort to counteract the pushback against vaping. “The vaping companies’ only rationale is, well, we’re better than cigarettes. OK, so, instead of hitting my-

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

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With the Yomim Noraim fast approaching, what greater zechus can one have, than to add a daily halacha seder in Mishnah Berurah to your day? On Thursday, September 26, lel‫ א‬e"‫כ‬, Daf HaYomi B’Halacha – Dirshu's daily Mishnah Berurah program encouraged by Gedolei Yisrael, will BE"H, be learning gqt ‫ת‬e‫כ‬ld ,'d wlg dxexa dpyn. Tens of thousands worldwide have joined the daily halacha learning program and benefitted from Dirshu’s unique structure and accountability methods of retaining one’s learning.

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SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 | The Jewish Home

Challenge

YO U R E D U C AT I O N Professional CEUs and Certificate Provided Wor ksho p 1:

TREATMENT OF INFANTS AND YOUNG CHILDREN WITH

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self on the head with a metal pipe, I’ll hit myself on the head with a wooden stick,” Cuomo said. “The metal pipe is worse. Yeah, no, I understand the metal pipe is worse, but the wooden stick isn’t great either, right?” New York now joins Michigan in becoming the second state to ban flavored e-cigarettes amid a national health scare regarding the effects of such products. Within the past month, the Center for Disease Control (CDC) has uncovered more than 380 cases of a mysterious vaping-related lung disease that has already killed seven people.

DATE:

Sunday, October 27, 2019 8:30 A.M. – 4:30 P.M. LOCATION:

Challenge Early Intervention Center 649 39th Street. Brooklyn, NY 11232

Get Paid to Watch Football

~ Breakfast and lunch will be served ~

Wor ksho p 2:

THE PREVENTION AND TREATMENT OF

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Queens:

DATE:

Wednesday, November 13, 2019 5:15 P.M. – 9:00 P.M. LOCATION:

Young Israel of Hillcrest 169-07 Jewel Avenue, Flushing NY 11365 ~ Dinner will be served ~

To register online visit us at www.challenge-ei.com For more information: (e) tanenbaums@challenge-ei.com (p) 718-851-3300 ext. 155

Love football? This may be the perfect position for you. A Los Angeles brewery is looking for someone to “get paid to watch football” at Los Angeles Rams games. Golden Road Brewery said its “Chief Beer Officer” will be paid $150 per event to attend every Los Angeles Rams home game and promote the brewery’s products – especially the new Whose House?! Blonde Ale. “You need to be willing to get paid to watch football, promote the Golden Road brand and all that comes with it,” the job posting states. The posting says an ideal candidate will have “1-35+ years tailgating experience” and a “deep love” for the Los Angeles Rams. Applicants, who must be 21 or older, need to explain why they are the ideal candidate for the job when applying. That shouldn’t be too hard if you’re a diehard fan.

Clowning Around Usually, being terminated from your job is not the time to bring in the clowns, but Joshua Jack sees the world a bit differently than most people.

When the New Zealand man was told he could bring someone along as a “support person” to a meeting with his bosses at the Auckland ad agency where he works, he thought he was going to be fired.

“Sensing the bad news, I decided I’d need the best support person available, so I spent $200 [U.S. $127] to hire a clown,” Jack wrote on Facebook. Jack shared photos from the meeting, which featured the clown, in full make-up, making balloon animals while Jack’s superiors at the company broke the news that he was being let go. “It was rather noisy with him making balloon animals so we had to tell him to be quiet from time to time,” Jack said. He said his bosses saw the humor in the situation. “Again, he was $200, so basically he was, I assume, one of the best clowns in Auckland – they were getting a free service, they were also getting the entertainment from Joe the Clown,” he said. Jack now has the last laugh. He already has a new job with a competing ad agency.

Coffee Connoisseur

Are a “Starbucks addict”? Do you need to have your venti triple nonfat no whip white mocha every morning? Or do you require a grande vanilla bean coconut milk latte with two shots of espresso for your midday slump? Sounds like you need your Starbucks as much as you need your iPhone. But perhaps we can peel you away from your favorite coffee shop. Business.org is offering $1,000 to one person – a “Starbucks addict,” to be precise – who would be willing to switch their coffee habit to local coffee shops for a full month and “literally get paid to drink delicious coffee.”

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

‫בס"ד‬

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W E D N E S D AY , O C T O B E R 16, 2 0 19

SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 | The Jewish Home

According to the website, it is seeking “a self-professed Starbucks junkie” who “seriously loved their coffee” to document the experience of switching from the international chain to locally-owned coffee shops. “If selected, your job will be to document your experience – tracking and comparing the cost, benefits, and potential setbacks of moving to a buy-local lifestyle for your daily coffee fix,” the website said. The chosen caffeine enthusiast will be required to visit at least eight locally-owned coffee shops during the month, take photos of their coffee during each visit, “log the key metrics” requested by the posting, and write up a summary of their experience “going local.” Among the perks listed on the website for the job is that the person chosen for this position will “literally get paid to drink delicious coffee.” Hey, “brew” can do it! Just give it your best shot.

Starbucking Speaking of Starbucks, here’s someone who has visited more than 15,061 Starbucks locations. Winter – that’s his legal name –

has been on a Starbucks kick since 1997. What started as a quest for espresso has become his ticket to the world.

“I call it an extreme hobby,” he told CNN of his quest to visit all Starbucks locations around the world. Winter kicked off his mission 22 years ago at a Starbucks in Plano, Texas. There were only about 1,500 locations in the U.S. at the time, and he thought he could visit each and every one of them. But, as you know, Starbuckses are constantly popping up on every corner, and so Winter’s quest has grown. In fact, Starbucks just opened its 30,000th location in Shenzen, China. Interestingly, Winter is not necessarily a fan of Starbucks coffee. He favors independent coffee houses and asks for a sample of drip coffee wherever he goes. If they don’t have that, he’ll take an espresso. He snaps photos of his drink and then loads them

to his website. “It’s hard to talk about a favorite Starbucks item because I don’t enjoy the taste of Starbucks anymore,” he said. “It’s either tolerable or OK, but it’s never good or great coffee anymore.” He also hasn’t sampled any of the food items on the Starbucks’ menus when he visits the stores. Winter used to dedicate every weekend to “Starbucking,” excitedly driving hundreds of miles to visit a new store, or flying to other countries, including Denmark and Qatar, to see how they brew it. But the quest has grown a bit tedious, and his pace has slowed. He’s spent much of the money he earns as a contract computer programmer to take care of his ailing mother in Panama. For now, though, slow but steady, Winter is still continuing on his quest of conquering Starbuckses worldwide. “I don’t see it as work,” he said. “I see it as a goal.”

A Fight for Emotional Support Monkeys

Texanne McBride-Teahan keeps three pet monkeys in her home in Creve Coeur, Missouri. According to Texanne, the black-capped capuchin named Paula, bonnet macaque named Kalie Anna, and patas monkey named Zoey are there to help her deal with her emotions. “They are not dangerous animals,” she said at a council meeting earlier this month. “They are trained. They assist me. I have PTSD because of something that happened to me, a very bad thing that happened to me a long time ago.” After Texanne moved into her rental home, a neighbor spotted the pets and alerted the city. “It’s a wild animal,” Jim Hentschell, who lives next door to McBride-Teahan, told KMOV4. “They belong in zoos, you know, or in their natural habitat. Everything I hear about emotional support animals – they only speak about cats and dogs.”

The city of Creve Coeur seems to agree, stating that non-human primates (which includes monkeys), along with alligators, pythons, and lions, are considered an “inherently dangerous animal” and are not allowed in residential areas. Now, Texanne is fighting to keep her monkeys, which she says help her keep her sanity. Her lawyer says that she has a note from a physician stating that her monkeys are her emotional support animals. “Unequivocally, she has a very real disability,” her lawyer says. “All she wants is to be left alone.” With her monkeys.

$1.25M Gold Toilet Stolen

A solid 18-karat gold toilet, valued at more than $1.25 million, was stolen from the UK’s Blenheim Palace, the family home of Winston Churchill. Originally installed at New York’s Guggenheim Museum, the toilet, called, “America,” was created by Italian artist Maurizio Cattelan. The fancy but functional commode was installed in its new home of Woodstock, in Oxfordshire, England, just two days before the thievery took place, according to the Los Angeles Times. Thames Valley Police reported there was “significant damage and flooding” caused by the removal of the fully plumbed toilet in the home of the Duke of Marlborough. Weeks prior to the installation, the Duke’s brother, Lord Edward Spencer-Churchill, told The Sunday Times he didn’t “plan on guarding” the art piece. “It’s not going to be the easiest thing to nick,” he said. “Firstly, it’s plumbed in, and secondly, a potential thief will have no idea who last used the toilet or what they ate.” Apparently, he was mistaken as to the safety of the loo. Although the commode is still MIA, police have reportedly arrested a 66-year-old man in connection to the robbery. Did someone say royal flush?

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

l i e t f s s le ore f i s h m

Sure it’s gefilte fish, but you probably aren’t buying it for the potato starch and onions. That’s why we pack each Ungar’s loaf with more fresh, responsibly-sourced whitefish and pike, and fewer fillers - no substitutes, powders or artificial flavors, ever.

SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 | The Jewish Home

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The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

‫בס״ד‬

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SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 | The Jewish Home

Around the

Community CHAZAQ Around the Clock

“24/71

and twelve months a year.” That’s how R’ Yaniv Meirov, CEO of Chazaq, describes the operations of the organization. While many families went away for the summer, Chazaq lectures and events kept going strong as they organized dozens of classes throughout the tristate area inspiring hundreds of men and women. Chazaq’s main mission and goal has always been to inspire local public school students and instill in them the love and connection to their beautiful Jewish heritage. Indeed, in order to make this happen, Chazaq’s Jwave teens division and Shaping Lives children’s school had a combined average of 7 hours of daily programming during the summer months. “From teaching them the alef-bet to

learning Mishnayot, to having exciting trips and activities, we were able to strengthen the learning skills and Jewish connection for hundreds of public school students the past two months.” With the summer months also comes Chazaq’s renowned registration drive where they have a team of dedicated staff who reach out to parents of public school students to show them the beauty of a Jewish education. “Baruch Hashem over 180 students started the 2019 school year in yeshiva thanks to the tireless work of Chazaq’s dedicated staff at the PSTY (Public School to Yeshiva) division,” said Meirov. “People think that transferring kids to yeshiva is a piece of cake but they don’t realize the challenges involved. From assuring that they are prepared to enter a yeshiva setting, to convincing the mother and the father and then

the child, then we need to find the right yeshiva which is a major task, and our staff can drive parents down to numerous different yeshivas before they find the “one.” Once that is done and the child is registered, comes the financial assistance that is offered by numerous wonderful organizations. Bottom line, a lot of time and energy goes into this with some cases taking well over a year or two.” Now that the school year rolled in, so did Chazaq’s numerous after-school programs for public school students of all ages. “We are back at it for another year, educating our youth about their heritage and planting the seeds that will sprout into beautiful fruits in the very near future.” For more info about Chazaq, please email info@ chazaq.org.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

The new parents of Torah Academy for Girls were warmly welcomed before school with gifts delivered by our own proud TAG talmidos. The cookbooks, with a great recipe for a successful new year, were received with much appreciation. Thanks to all our mother volunteers and our talmidos for making our new families feel welcome.

HALB Color Run Learn & Live, “Oh, how sweet it is.” Mr. Curtis Crowell, aka the beekeeper, came to L&L this week to show the boys the history of beekeeping and where honey comes from. Mr. Crowell came with bees plus a smoker and all the stuff a beekeeper needs in order to produce honey. This week at L&L, “The shofar in shul goes toot, toot, toot.”

Ohr Olam English Mishnah Berurah Project

n Sunday, September 15, the Hebrew Academy of Long Beach hosted an exciting back to school Color Run and carnival to start the school year off with a blast. The event was held at HALB’s Hewlett Bay Park campus, where students in grades 1 through 8 ran laps around the beautiful course with their classmates, while being showered with powdered paint in

various colors. The students and their families also enjoyed bouncy houses galore, face paint, balloon animals, and ice cream courtesy of the HALB PTA. The event garnered much school spirit and enthusiasm with the kids decked out in #WeAreHalb swag including T-shirts and sunglasses. A wonderful and fun-filled day was had by all.

he Five Towns Community is world-renowned for the tremendous acts of chessed that many in the community display on a daily basis. Over the past three years, the Lawrence community has been able to intertwine their support for both Torah and chessed by getting involved with the Ohr Olam English Mishnah Berurah Project. Ohr Olam is an organization that is spreading the Torah’s eternal wisdom throughout the world by making classic Hebrew works accessible to the English-speaking public. Ohr Olam has assembled a team of accomplished Torah scholars, skilled editors, and talented graphic artists to produce a Mishna Berurah that is pleasing to the eye and easy to read. In writing the Mishnah Berurah, the foremost halachic work of the past century, the Chofetz Chaim’s goal was to make practical halachah available to every Jew, regardless of his level of scholarship. Since then, the Mishnah Berurah has become the essential text used by scholars and laymen alike to learn the practical halachos that govern Jewish daily life. Ohr Olam is perpetuating the Chofetz Chaim’s vision by making this fundamental work available to the English-speaking Jewish public.

Ohr Olam was founded by Rabbi Shmuel Menachem Heiman, a Vishnitz chassid from Eretz Yisroel. He was traveling around the world fundraising when Rabbi Heiman began to realize that the organization’s debts and overhead were too high for him to continue his great work. When he arrived in Lawrence, Rabbi Heiman was met with immediate assistance from philanthropists who understood the importance of completing this project. It was with this assistance that Ohr Olam was able to continue its monumental work at a greater pace than ever before. Baruch Hashem, all 8 volumes of Hilchos Shabbos, as well as volumes of Hilchos Sukkos and Pesach, are already available in stores, with praise coming from both leading rabbonim and laymen. Ohr Olam owes a big thank you to the Lawrence community, as well as other philanthropists throughout the world, who have gotten the organization to where it is today. There are still many dedication opportunities available as the Mishnah Berurah project alone will be north of 30 volumes. For those wanting to participate in this wonderful endeavor, please contact them at OhrolamMB@gmail.com or call 718-506-0101.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

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SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

Bunch o’ Bookworms at Hindi’s Libraries

n Friday morning, the Hindi’s Libraries spearheaded a new group of young volunteers, the Bunch o’ Bookworms. Several high school students joined for their first book labeling and sorting session held at the Levi Yitzchak Library in Cedarhurst after reaching out to co-founder Leslie Gang. The volunteers will be meeting weekly as they hope to assist the organization’s efforts by labeling both new and gently used books after reviewing the quality and content of each book received.

Hindi’s Libraries has collected more than 35,000 books and ships them to more than 350 organiza-

tions throughout the country that service children and families. To learn more about how you can

help, please contact info@hindislibraries.com.

Noted Scholar Dina Schoonmaker Will Keynote OU Women’s Initiative Weekend of Inspiration

orah scholar Mrs. Dina Schoonmaker will keynote the Orthodox Union’s (OU) Women’s Initiative Weekend of Inspiration in Far Rockaway and Queens, addressing “A Woman’s Approach to Cheshbon Hanefesh

and Teshuva.” Her presentation will explore how to develop a practical and empowered attitude towards self-evaluation and improvement without self-condemnation and guilt. Schoonmaker will speak on

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Limited Space Available for Fall Registration Contact Rebbetzin Chansie Horowitz 516.371.6848

Shabbos, September 21 at 5:25 p.m. at The White Shul in Far Rockaway. She then moves onto a pre-Selichot shiur at the Young Israel of Queens Valley in Kew Gardens Hills at 9:30 p.m. that night, where she will discuss “A Woman’s Preparation for Yom Hadin.” The session will explore understanding the purpose of Elul and Yamim Noraim and cultivating a mindset that is inspiring and sustainable for the very busy woman. All women in the community are invited. The pre-Selichot shiur will be available online for women across the globe to watch. It will go live at 9:30 p.m. ET at https://www.ou.org/ women/selichot/. Schoonmaker will speak to students at Midreshet Shalhevet, Shevach High School, and Shulamith High School for Girls on Friday, September 20 to help put everyone in the mindset for the upcoming Yamim Noraim. She will also present at the OU’s third annual Torah New York on Sunday, September 22 which is expected to draw more than 2,500 people to Citi Field in Queens, N.Y., for a day of Torah study and to address topics and questions facing the Jewish world today from the perspective of Jewish law and thought. Schoonmaker has been a faculty member at Michlalah Jerusalem College for more than 25 years and oversees an alumnae counseling hotline for its overseas graduates. She is the founder of the highly

acclaimed WomensVaad.com, an interactive teleconference personal-development program for women of all ages. She resides in Yerushalayim with her husband, Rosh Yeshiva of Shapell’s/Yeshiva Darché Noam, and their children. “Dina is one of the most dynamic scholars today, known for inspiring women of all ages. As we head into the Yamim Noraim, her words of Torah will help bring the spirit of the season into our hearts and minds,” said founding director of the OU Women’s Initiative Rebbetzin Dr. Adina Shmidman. “The OU Women’s Initiative has had tremendous success in creating programming and learning opportunities for women in our community,” said Orthodox Union President Moishe Bane. “The series of shiurim which Mrs. Schoonmaker will be delivering over Shabbos as well as the next day at Torah New York will help the community get into the frame of mind for the Yamim Noraim.” Founded in 1898, the Orthodox Union (OU) serves as the voice of American Orthodox Jewry, with over 400 congregations in its synagogue network. As the umbrella organization for American Orthodox Jewry, the OU is at the forefront of advocacy work on both state and federal levels, outreach to Jewish teens and young professionals through NCSY, Birthright Israel/Israel Free Spirit, Yachad and OU Press, among many other divisions and programs. For more information, visit https://www.ou.org/.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

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Around the Community

The Belsky and Blachorsky families dedicated a sefer Torah to the Chofetz Chaim Torah Center in Cedarhurst on Sunday l’ilui nishmas their beloved son and brother, Simcha (Sam) Belsky, a”h. Later in the day, a kumzitz led by Eitan Katz was held in the Mansion in Lawrence for the community.

Yeshiva Darchei Torah first grader Moshe Gordon blowing a shofar during the month of Elul

Happy faces at Yeshiva Darchei Torah

DRS Celebrates National Merit Scholarship Finalists

Gan Chamesh Got Off to a Great Start!

G D

The semi-finalists

RS seniors Tzviki Fortgang and Josh Brafman were recognized as National Merit Scholarship semi-finalists. Only 9 students in the Five Towns area were recognized as such. The National Merit Scholarship Program is an academic competition for recognition and scholarships. In September, the 30,000 highest scorers on the PSAT across the country receive letters of commendation in recognition of their outstanding academic promise. Alongside Tzviki and Josh,

seniors Harry Radinsky and Shuie Steinberg were recognized as National Merit Scholarship Commendees! This is an extremely prestigious honor, and it reflects the high level of education that DRS strives to deliver to their students, as well as the level of commitment and work they expect from them. This marks the eighth year in a row in which DRS has produced a semi-finalist for this illustrious accomplishment.

an Chamesh, Chabad’s Early Childhood Center, is a Reggio inspired program that provides children with a variety of hands-on, innovative learning experiences. The school year got off to a wonderful start as children were welcomed warmly and encouraged to delve into their environments which were intentionally set up to promote such interaction. Teachers set up “provocations” for exploring and the children quickly became engrossed in learning in a multi-sensory way. The Reggio philosophy calls for providing children with a multitude of natural materials and loose parts to encourage creative thinking, problem solving, and cooperative play. Real materials are used to create a homey environment where learning

happens naturally and meaningful curriculums are developed stemming from the interests of the children. For more information about Gan Chamesh, Chabad’s Early Childhood Center, please contact Susy Adler or Suzanne Wallin, the program directors, at 516 295-2479.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

Rav Gavriel Friedman inspiring the talmidim of Netzach Hatorah before yom tov

Pre-1A rabbeim at Siach Yitzchok along with their classes walked through the cheder demonstrating the mitzvah of bikkurim

Alan’s Amazing Bris at BJX

latbush isn’t the same. This past Sunday morning, Alan Kamenezky, a 25-year-old BJX student, changed his life. Raised as a secular Jew in Brooklyn, Alan graduated Edward Murrow Public High School (Avenue L and East 16th Street) and Brooklyn College (Bedford Avenue). After several years of attending various programs at BJX, Alan steadily grew in his Yiddishkeit. Alan is a bright and analytical person. He gradually took upon himself mitzvos, such as refraining from basar v’cholov and Torah learning. Eventually, Alan studied the importance of bris milah and understood that it was critical that he officially enter into the bris shel Avrohom Avinu. Alan took a bold and courageous step and prepared himself for Rosh Hashana by becoming a baal bris milah. In the presence of his mother,

friends, and members of the BJX family, Alan celebrated this great milestone with a beautiful seudas mitzvah. Everyone was deeply inspired and moved. Listening to Alan describe what motivated him to change and go beyond his comfort zone was the perfect message for the days of Elul. Alan received the Hebrew name, Alon. In Lashon HaKodesh an Alon means an oak tree. Eretz Yisroel is renowned for its oak trees. An oak signifies resilience, morale, conviction, and strength. What a befitting name for Alan to choose. Alan bucked the trend and went against the flow, exhibiting great moral courage. The eshel that Avrohom Avinu planted was an oak tree. That is why he is described as sitting in Alonei Mamrei, which is the oak of Mamrei. It is the objective of every Jew to become an encompassing and embracing oak tree. We need

PHOTO CREDIT: KUVIEN: YEHUDA BOLTSHAUSER & CO

to care about all those around us. There are Jews living in very close proximity to us who may not look or seem Jewish to us. However, they are just as Jewish as you and I. These unaffiliated Jews share the same ancestors as us and have the same entitlement to Torah. They should feel our love and respect. It isn’t their fault that they were deprived of a Jewish upbringing. This past Shabbos, one such family made BJX into their second home.

We welcomed them this past Shabbos and celebrated the bar mitzvah of their son. They said that they felt an instant connection with everyone in the BJX beis haMedrash and felt right at home. That is precisely what we aim and strive for. They should feel comfortable because they are surrounded by family. They should feel at home because they are home. This is where they belong. It is their birthright just as much as it is ours. Welcome home.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

The Rabbi Who Prayed for King George V

true story about a Hungarian rabbi who was asked by the British Royal Court to pray for the recovery of the Protector of Palestine. A survivor of Hitlerdom tells a story of better days. It was in the summer of 1929. King George V of England was desperately ill. He had undergone two operations, and the country was tense with anxiety over the prospect of a third one. The best healers were called to the bedside of the failing monarch. And throughout the land, in town, city and hamlet, in church, synagogue and chapel, people gathered to pray for him. ...The King recovered from the first operation and stood the test of the second one. But there was still trouble ahead. The surgeons advised a third operation.

The report of the King’s relapse made front-page news in the world’s newspapers. When Joshua Silberstein, Chief Rabbi of Vac, Hungary, glanced at his newspaper he uttered a deep sigh, wishing the King a speedy recovery. The 76-year-old chief rabbi had been living in retirement, sustaining his remaining days with prayer and study. Standing at the peak of his years, he was a humble spirit without a trace of vanity. The chief rabbi never dreamt— and he certainly never coveted it— that his name would some day catapult into world prominence. His was a world of aloneness, pierced only by the light of G-d and piety. He was no ascetic. His only wish was to spend his remaining days with himself and his studies. But his wish was not to be granted.

One day, late in the summer of 1929, there was a knock at the rabbi’s door. When his secretary saw the telegram messenger, he turned pale. Surely, it is a harbinger of evil, he thought. He opened the envelope with trembling fingers and placed the message on the rabbi’s table. The rabbi glanced at the telegram, and his body shook visibly as he read it. For there, before him, was a plea, directly from the British Royal Court, that he pray for the recovery of the King of England, the Protector of Palestine. ...On that Sabbath he conducted the services with unprecedented fervor and personally recited the traditional prayer for the recovery of the ailing British monarch to the chanting of amen by the worshippers. Cynics may question whether prayer helped. But history records that the king re-

covered. Nor can one deny that they attached great importance to these prayers in London and that the Royal Court turned to Chief Rabbi Silberstein because it learned that in Jerusalem he was considered the greatest rabbi in Europe, though in Hungary he was barely known beyond Vac.

Shulamith H.S. Freshman Retreat

hulamith High School freshmen woke up early on Thursday, September 12, and eagerly boarded a coach bus heading for Camp Timber Tops in Greeley, PA. The bus pulled out to the sounds of davening and set the tone for an overnight of achdut. The girls were amazed as they stepped off the bus. Camp Timber Tops’s enormous grounds are impressive; lush trees surround a beautiful lake which is only enhanced by neatly trimmed grass and bordered basketball courts, baseball fields, and an expansive ropes course. Mrs. Munk, principal, opened the retreat by speaking about bravery and stepping out of one’s comfort zone, a perfect message for a freshman retreat.

One at a time, the girls stepped up to hook onto the sixty-foot zip line. Some looked excited while others looked hesitant, but every girl internalized Mrs. Munk’s message of bravery by flying through the air. This was followed by group team building activities, including building a race car (and driving it!) and a high ropes course. There was also canoeing and paddle boarding. Our guidance counselor, Channi Packer, gathered the girls for a grade-wide activity that demonstrated how everyone’s role is important in a group. Another activity followed involving the lyrics to Mordechai Shapiro’s song “Friends,” which led to an unplanned dance party! The night was not over quite yet.

Esty Munk, Director of Student Activities, created a game appropriately named “Face Your Fears.” Following the theme of bravery, girls painted their faces with different substances and experienced challenges. One group, marshmallow fluff smearing their faces, had to collect as many Cheerios on their face as possible. After a thorough scrubbing for all, a kumzitz took place by a blazing bonfire, s’mores included! Late into the night, there was bracelet beading in the cabin, where all the girls had an opportunity for informal bonding. The following morning, Freshman Advisor Mrs. Adina Wolf inspired tefilla with a relatable story. Esty Munk closed with a reflective game which ended with the girls boarding the bus,

laughing with their new friends. “I loved that we all shared this big cabin… I really got to know everyone,” Rachel Levine said. Yael Esses added, “I was really nervous before but I was so happy that everyone was so nice!” The retreat has set the tone for an incredible year at SHS!

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

‫א‬ ‫ב‬ ‫י‬ ‫ה‬ ‫ם‬ ‫ם‬ ‫ב‬ ‫י‬ ‫כ‬ ‫ש‬ ‫ו‬ ‫ם‬ ‫בר‬ ‫׳ה‬ With great joy, we welcome the

‫כ״ק מרן‬

‫בס״ד‬

VEITZEN REBBE ‫אדמו״ר מווייטצען‬ ‫שליט״א‬

‫שליט״א‬

Descendant of of the great Gaon, holy Tzaddik and Poel‫הדור‬ Yeshuos (performer miracles), the saintly ‫הקדוש מופת‬ ‫של הגאון‬of‫דרכו‬ ‫נכדו וממשיך‬

MASEI LMELECH ‫רשכבה״ג פועל ישועות בקרב הארץ‬

‫זי״ע‬

‫מעשי למלך‬ ‫זצוקללה״ה‬

‫בעל‬

Rabbi of VEITZEN Hungary ‫ווייטצען‬ ‫( ור״מ‬Vác) ‫אבדק״ק‬ WILL VISIT LAWRENCE, NY ‫שהגיע לביקור בעירנו‬ ON SEPTEMBER 22, 23, 24 °° on behalf of his activities for Torah and Chesed. ‫לתאום פגישה לברכה או לעצה‬ °°

‫ וכו׳‬,‫ פרנסה‬,‫ שלום בית‬,‫ שידוכים‬,‫בחינוך‬

To schedule an appointment for a brocho, yeshuos or advice on

‫ או להשאיר הודעה‬,‫ טעקסט‬,‫מעיל‬-‫אפשר על ידי אי‬ CHINUCH, SHIDDUCHIM, SHOLOM BAYIS ETC. veitzen18@gmail.com please email, text, or leave a message

514.246.0106 veitzen18@gmail.com 1.347.528.2010 °° °°

.‫יהא בואו לברכה ולהרמת קרן התורה והחסידות‬ May his visit be crowned with success. ‫ידידי וחסידי ווייטצען‬ Friends and Chasidei Veitzen

SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

Getting back into learning and fun at BYAM

MSH Shabbaton Spirit Fills 195 Acres

he twelfth annual MSH Shabbaton, encompassing the G.O. theme of the year, “A Journey through Time,” took place this past Shabbat at scenic Camp Seneca Lake in the Pocono Mountains. Students, administrators, faculty, and their family members, began the journey of the year during a fun-filled and inspirational weekend. MSH is a small school by design and works to ensure warmth and individual attention in a loving and caring environment, without sacrificing any academic or extracurricular opportunities. MSH’s objective is to instill in our students the confidence to achieve their dreams and become leaders within the community at large so they are prepared to confront the spiritual and professional challenges, as well as the opportunities of today’s modern society. One aspect of bringing this dream to reality is the annual Shabbaton, where we meld teaching and real world application of the learning they bring from the classrooms. On Friday, after a delicious lunch, Coordinator of Student Activities Mrs. Nechama Strauss and MSH’s fabulous 2019-20 G.O. members Simone Shafiro, Leah Cohen, Hila Dayan, and Kayla Feldman planned and executed a welcome activity introducing new and old students, as

well as finding out new things about old friends. In the afternoon, the students made use of the magnificent facilities including the indoor swimming pool, playhouse, sports fields, and recreational areas, before making their way back to the bunks to prepare for Shabbat. The weekend featured meaningful singing during tefilla and zemirot at meals, as well as shiurim on the theme of the weekend. Menahelet Esther Eisenman spoke with the seniors on “the next stops on our journey”; Mrs. Aliza Feder chatted with freshman regarding a ‘journey through mitzvot”; Rabbi Ariel Rosensweig contemplated “is it fair to judge people by their future” with the sophomores; Rabbi Matt Schneeweiss debated with juniors “is Judaism outdated”; and Yoetzet Halacha Mrs. Avital Weissman ex-

plained to sophomores “the journey to an apology.” Additional shiurim were given by Mrs. Jessie Fischbein, Rabbi Elie Feder, and Yoetzet Halacha Mrs. Hindy Feder. The divrei Torah at the meals were delivered by freshman Shany Steinberg, junior Emily Weintraub, and alumnae madricha Leah Feder (MSH ‘18). On Motzei Shabbat, Moshe Seewald led the girls in a moving havdalah, and after a brief time to transform themselves into a reproduction of their favorite decade for the themed melave malka, DJ extraordinaire Gary Wallin energized everyone with music and dancing. The dinner, music, and lively dancing ended well into the night, but the warmth and enthusiasm of the MSH Shabbaton will long remain with the students and staff.

The food was heavenly, the ruach was inspiring, but most importantly, the achdut and camaraderie among the girls was astonishing. One thing the girls could not agree on was the best part of Shabbaton — the music, swimming, shiurim, bonding with teachers, the humorous yet inspiring workshops, dancing, the zemirot, the kumzitz, the Shabbat menucha with friends and teachers, or the melave malka. Now that Shabbaton is over, MSH is turning its sights into preparing to welcome prospective 8th grade girls and their parents at our Open House on Sunday, November 3 at 9:00 AM. To join the excitement and learn how you will dream, sparkle, and shine at MSH, pre-register at mshsg. org or for more information, contact admissions@mshsg.org.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

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Around the Community Talmidim and their students in Yeshiva Ketana of Long Island started off the year with enthusiastic learning

Rambam Masmidim Extra Learning Program Continues

n just the first full week of school, the Rambam Masmidim Extra Learning Program is off to a fast start! Around 20 talmidim flocked to the Bais Medrash this past Tuesday night for 45 minutes of “Open Learning,” where students in grades 9-12 studied together everything from Gemara to Tanach, to Mishna to hashkafa. Iconic Carlos and Gabby’s food was then served followed by a shiur conducted by Rabbi Yaacov Weisenberg. Rabbi Weisenberg shared some thoughts on the parsha and stressed that

while the parsha begins by discussing preparations for physical battle, it also can be understood as a metaphor for preparing oneself for battle with the yetzer hara. With the Bais Medrash filling up during lunch on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, the Masmidim Program is on the rise. The learning continued this Monday night with Rabbi Avrum Haar hosting and leading the learning, including preparations for the Bronka Weintrab Bekiut Program through Yeshiva University. The program just keeps on growing.

Shulamith Middle Division Listens and Learns About 9/11 By Tirzah Luchins

n Wednesday, September 11, the Shulamith School for Girls Middle Division participated in “Anniversary in the Schools,” a webinar hosted by the 9/11 Memorial Museum. Students listened and watched in silence as they learned about September 11, 2001, when 2,977 lives were cut short by evil terrorists. Eighth grader Avigail Casden confessed that before watching the video she had never really thought about the attacks at great length. One of the reasons we watched this video was so that we could hear about the attacks from those who were there. We could try to imagine what it was like to be in their shoes, to struggle for survival, mourn the sudden loss of a family member, or agonize over the thought of someone close having

to choose whether to jump out of a building or be consumed by the fire. After watching the memorial video and hearing about the sad stories and amazing heroes, many of the girls were awestruck and made a commitment to do something in memory of those who were killed.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

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SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

HANC’s Welcome BBQ The yeladim at HANC ECC West Hempstead are learning all about Rosh Hashana

ANC’s Samuel and Elizabeth Bass Golding Elementary School in West Hempstead welcomed the new kindergarten students and their families to the “Welcome to Kindergarten Brunch.” More than three hundred people attended and were treated to a delicious dinner that was catered by I and D. Everyone had an opportunity to see old friends from the HANC Early Childhood Center and make new friends as well. In addition to having a barbecue, the children had a lot of fun playing in the playground and on the bas-

ketball courts. While enjoying each other’s company, the event also provided an opportunity for the kindergarten teachers to get to know their students’ families. At the conclusion of the event, each kindergarten child was presented with a mitzvah bag for their tzedakah and mitzvah notes and a HANC water bottle. More than three hundred people participated and the barbecue was a spectacular beginning to a wonderful year of learning and fun at HANC Elementary School.

MTA Senior Named National Merit Scholarship Semi-Finalist

TA is proud to announce that Elishama Marmon (‘20) of Bergenfield, New Jersey, has been named as one of the 16,000 semi-finalists in the 65th Annual National Merit Scholarship Program. All semi-finalists will have the opportunity to continue the competition for the chance to win one of 7,600 National Merit Scholarships, worth more than $31 million, which will be offered in the spring. “We are extremely proud of Elishama for this outstanding achievement, which is a true testament to his

hard work over the past four years,” said Head of School Rabbi Joshua Kahn. “In addition to his academic accomplishments, Elishama also participates in night seder, takes advantage of the unique opportunity to enroll in college courses at Yeshiva University, holds a leadership role on our award-winning Robotics Team, and is an active member of our many clubs, including the Debate Team, Outdoors Club, Math Team, Swim Team, Softball Team, and Sports Management Club. We look forward to celebrating his continued success.”

The Wandering Jew Page 88

Mrs. Shira Smiles Connects at Shevach High School

he new school year at Shevach High School got off to a positive start with a thought-provoking address delivered by Mrs. Shira Smiles. Mrs. Smiles is a master mechaneches who gives classes in various high schools and seminaries in Eretz Yisroel. Mrs. Smiles compared doing mitzvos to the seeds in a pomegranate vis-a-vis the seeds in an apple. The seeds of the apple are concentrated and connected to its core. On the other hand, the seeds of a pomegranate, although numerous, are dispersed throughout the fruit as individual entities, and not connected to each other or to a core. We also need to be connected to the core, to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Yes, numerous is good, but how much better would it be if our positive actions were numerous and would connect us to Hashem! That is the goal of the days of Elul, whose message is Ani ledodi vedodo li. Elul is a time designated to strengthening our con-

nection to Hashem. Mrs. Smiles spoke about making small changes in one’s life. We often are doing two things at the same time which guarantees that we are not getting the full value out of either thing. She suggested trying to live in the moment both in terms of mitzvos and everyday actions. In her inimitable way, she demonstrated opening a water bottle and saying the bracha at the same time. This elicited a laugh from the students, but the point was made. Mrs. Smiles left the students with the charge of making every day count and making every action a positive one and a harbinger of growth, while at the same time being connected to one goal and one vision. The students left feeling inspired and ready to take on the Yomim Noraim with enthusiasm. This theme of change is being continued at Shevach throughout Elul and Tishrei and will hopefully bring positive results both on an individual basis and as a group.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

Around the Community

Mesivta Yam HaTorah Mishmar Program

he start of a new school year brings the start of many different programs. This past week, Mesivta Yam HaTorah kicked off its mishmar program, where groups of students were paired with beis medrash bochurim from Yeshi-

va Zichron Aryeh to have an opportunity to review the material they had been learning in a relaxed and enjoyable atmosphere. The intimate groups proved for more focused learning as well as general chizuk from the older men-

tors. These groups will be kept the same throughout the year helping build a stronger connection between the beis medrash bochur and the students. This will not only allow them to learn together but to develop a mentor and role model to assist

them in other facets of life. We look forward to the growing success of our mishmar learning and to the delicious suppers that will ensure an all around enjoyment of this program.

Tefilla and Tzedaka in One? Don’t miss this special opportunity ahead of Rosh Hashana

eshuva, tefillah, tzedaka — the trio of potent weaponry in our arsenal to nullify any painful decrees for the upcoming year, R”l. As we approach Rosh Hashana 5780 — with our fates and the fates of our families in the balance — we are presented with an incredible, easy opportunity for both tefilla and tzedaka at the highest levels. The Gadol Hador, HaRav Chaim Kanievsky, shlit”a, places only one request, that someone should daven on his behalf before the Yomim Noraim. Rav Chaim personally donates to the Vaad Harabanim L’inyanei Tzedakah and handwrites his name and mother’s name, requesting that other gedolei Eretz Yisroel daven for him in the zechus of his donation. Can we even imagine the benefit

of having the same meilitzei yosher at this consequential juncture as the ones that Rav Chaim personally seeks out? Yes, we do not need to imagine anything. All of us can attain it ourselves. Just four hours before Rosh Hashana, a historic Atzeres Tefilla will iy”H be held at the Kosel Hamaaravi. Leading rabbanim and roshei yeshiva shlit”a from Litvish, Chassidish, and Sephardic circles will unite to daven on behalf of donors to Vaad Harabanim L’inyanei Tzedaka. Those who donate $100 and up can submit up to two names that will be individually recited by the Gedolim at that Atzeres. Other tefilla opportunities, available for donors of $36 and $52, respectively, include tefillos by Gedo-

lim on Erev Rosh Hashana, Erev Yom Kippur and Hoshana Rabba, and a tefilla by Rav Chaim Kanievsky every day of Aseres Yemei Teshuva. The reason that these preeminent gedolei yisroel so value the donors of Vaad Harabanim L’inyanei Tzedakah is because they are intimately familiar with the lifesaving chessed that the organization does for residents of Eretz Yisroel around the clock, every day of the year. The organization serves as a single, all-encompassing address to assists those in need, regardless of background or affiliation. Within the past year alone, Vaad Harabanim distributed over 23,000 food packages to hungry families; financially assisted nearly 5,000 almanos and yesomim; assisted over 12,000 yidden with medical treat-

ment and rehabilitation; and helped nearly 3,000 children with tutoring and mentoring. The sheer magnitude of these chasadim and their far reaching, long term implications is difficult for the human mind to grasp. The Heavenly zechus of supporting these endeavors is impossible to estimate! In the zechus of our chessed towards our brothers and sisters around the world, may all of Klal Yisroel merit a Kesiva V’chasima Tova. To make a donation and submit names for the tefillos of the gedolim, please call the Vaad Harabanim hotline at 877-RAB-ANIM. Or Mail in your donation to Vaad Harabanim, 221 Regent Drive, Lakewood, NJ 08701.

SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

OHEL Meets the Significant Increase In Service Inquires

ver the last year, OHEL Children’s Home and Family Services has seen a record increase of 40% in service inquiries. Over 4,800 inquiries were managed by OHEL Access, our intake department, which is managed by a team of dedicated service specialists. Each call is as diverse as the individuals OHEL serves, each with their unique and personal circumstances and the challenges they face. Calls range from parents seeking respite or work for a child who has either mental or developmental disabilities, a friend who needs assistance and guidance after a traumatic

experience, a frightened mother who is trying to escape an abusive marriage, or a couple seeking counseling for their young child with an explosive behavior. This increase in inquiries can largely be attributed to a number of key factors: A rapidly growing community furthering a direct increase in general service needs along with the increasing stresses and life challenges faced by everyday individuals and families; an environment less stigmatized, where people are more proactive in seeking help; and, lastly, OHEL’s service expansion reaching more schools and on-going outreach

MTA Freshmen Receive Warm Welcome from Rav Hershel Schachter

n Monday, September 9th, MTA freshmen had the privilege of meeting with Yeshiva University Rosh Yeshiva Rav Hershel Schachter, who visited the freshmen shiurim to welcome

the new talmidim to the MTA community. In addition to sharing inspirational divrei Torah with the boys, Rav Schachter also shared his own experience as an MTA talmid.

Are you U.N. educated? See Centerfold, page 80

and network partnership efforts with other community organizations. OHEL has participated in many communal events of late including the ProvidED Expo on Special Education, the Midwood Mardis Gras, and Los Ninos Young Childhood Expo, as well as engaging in over two dozen meetings and presentations. OHEL has freely made certain facilities available at the new OHEL Jaffa Family Campus to other community organizations. OHEL, in conjunction with the JCC of Marine Park, provided a number of community-wide programs, including computer courses for beginners. Recently

OHEL hosted a blood drive in conjunction with Maimonides Medical Center. At OHEL each person can find a place of safety and support, while offering services that help build lives and strengthen families, homes, and communities to face social, developmental, and emotional challenges. OHEL Children’s Home and Family Services offers a breadth of services that meet the everyday needs of individuals and families. To access more information or services please call 1800-603-OHEL or email access@ohelfamily.org or visit www. ohelfamily.

SKA’s Holocaust Journal Wins Gold — Again

ongratulations to the 2019 SKA Holocaust Journal editors — Sara Blass, Rivka Kolodny, Leora Koenig, Avigael Sauber, Yael Shtern, Atara Sicklick, Chana Spirn, and Liora Sturm, as well as art editors Aviva Klahr and Eliana Weiss — on winning a Gold Medal Award from the Columbia Scholastic Press Association for “The Seeds, The Roots, The Legacy.” As ninth-graders, the girls worked exceptionally hard to create this beautiful journal, which is composed of poems, stories, and artwork all created by the freshmen students. The journal, compiled for presentation on Yom Hashoah,

has consistently been awarded for excellence. Last year’s journal was deemed by the CSPA to be “a fine job. Students who contributed to it will be able to show their children, grandchildren, and even great-grandchildren.” Yashar koach to the editors and faculty advisor, Mrs. Sheila Leibtag, for producing this important work. Thanks also goes to SKA faculty members Mrs. Rivie Blum, Mrs. Tzippy Calm, Mrs. Suzy Libin, Mrs. Shira Manne, Mrs. Arielle Parkoff, and Ms. Elissa Quinn for their assistance.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

Around the Community

Total Family Care’s Back To School Extravaganza: A Total Success

alloons. Face painting. Bounce house. Cholov Yisroel ice cream truck. September 15th was a wonderfully busy afternoon during which over 800 people of the community of Far Rockaway and the Five Towns came together to celebrate the return to school and for Total Family Care (TFC) patients to get their flu vaccines. “September is busy with the return to school and getting ready for Yom Tov,” said Dr. Hylton Lightman, TFC President and Medical Director. “We combined the two into one big community celebration. The best news is that by making sure these

kids get their flu vaccines, TFC is helping to ensure a happy and healthy school year.” Special guests in attendance included Dr. Jane R. Zucker, Assistant Commission at the New York City Department of Health and Public Hygiene, and Assemblywoman Stacey Pheffer Amato. Ms. Amato met with constituents to hear their concerns and discuss issues of interest. Fidelis Care, the health insurance company, helped to sponsor part of the afternoon. Fidelis representatives also met with families who needed information regarding health insurance.

SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 | The Jewish Home

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The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

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SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community The JCC Fall Festival took place on Sunday at the Harrison-Kerr Family Campus in Lawrence. Children and their parents enjoyed inflatables, face paint, games, raffles, painting, and prizes on the beautiful summer day

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

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SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

SKA’s Freshmen Experience

KA’s Freshmen Class of 2023 enjoyed an exciting bonding experience in Camp Kaylie on Tuesday September 12. The ninth-graders were joined by associate principal Ms. Elana Flu-

menhaft, director of student activities Rabbi Yosef Zakutinsky, social worker Ms. Lisa Fogel, the ninthgrade level advisors Mrs. Rikki Ash, Mrs. Tzippy Calm, and Mrs. Sheila Leibtag, and members of SKA’s

G.O. Thanks to the members of the administration and faculty, the new SKA students had a meaningful and entertaining time. The Freshmen Experience was filled with divrei Torah, games and

activities, delicious meals, and much camaraderie. It was an incredible way to solidify budding friendships and foster relationships and opportunities with fellow students, faculty, and administration members alike.

Beth and Jamie knew the key to having a successful singles event was the young professionals attending. That’s where Jamie Parnes, a matchmaker on YUConnects, came in. His experience and connections with young people in the Jewish world truly brought in a diversified crowd. His background in commercial real estate was a bonus in facilitating and spreading the word. He knew that in order to make perfect matches, generating the right crowd was a must, and he did just that. Alan Shulman of Main Event Mauzone Catering generously donated the exquisite cocktail room space and

provided the wine, crudités, and desserts for the event. The cocktail room can only be described as a luxurious venue, which included two beautiful glass enclosed fire pits that lit up the evening. The expansive white lacquered polished bar was the perfect area for mingling. The numerous volunteers who helped kick off this first event helped create a truly memorable and successful evening. We look forward to seeing you at our next Rooftop Singles event in November. An attendee wrote the following: “I want to thank you all for a great event last night! I happened upon a flyer accidentally and came in from

the city to be there and I am so glad I did. In my 6 years of dating and attending events on the Upper West Side/New York, this one was easily the best. The venue, the crowd, and the way it was structured for those who needed it but also made room for people who just wanted to talk, was perfect. And I know a lot of people there felt the same way. Thank you for taking the time and effort to put together such a great night.” Please spread the word as we are always looking for more singles who want to mingle. If you or anyone you know is interested in being a volunteer or a sponsor, please email us at Rooftopsingles@gmail.com.

Rooftop Singles

he launch of Rooftop Singles had its debut get-together this past Thursday evening to rave reviews. Set at the Mansion in Lawrence, Beth Yudin and Jamie Parnes came together to create a comfortable environment for singles to meet, interact, and most importantly to have fun! The first event was a huge success to which over 150 people attended. Beth Yudin of Premier Skirting, a seasoned event coordinator, knew what it took to coordinate a successful event by organizing an elaborate party with an easy-going aura, which allowed for the singles to mingle the night away. She not only created the event with the help of Jamie, but she designed the enlightening speed dating activity to foster social interaction with a purpose. She also created the blackjack linen and setting, which enhanced the evening in a classy and enjoyable fashion. It was a night of mixing and mingling including elegant table linens, balloons, mellow music, delicious sushi, and a fun game toss to top the night off.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

Around the Community

MTA Freshmen Take to the Trails on Grade-Wide Hike

Where Are You For The

HOLY DAYS? At The Holy Ribnizter Tzadik!

n Thursday, September 12, the entire MTA freshman grade enjoyed an exciting day of hiking. Talmidim spent time bonding with each other and their rebbeim on the hiking trails, where they pushed themselves outside their comfort zones in team-building activities and had the opportunity to make new friends. After a quick detour to 7-11

for post-hike slurpees, the day concluded with intense sports games and a BBQ dinner. MTA is proud to offer an enhanced Freshman Experience, including fun events like this one, guidance sessions, and team-building workshops, which enable the talmidim to bond cohesively as a grade and spend time with boys who they may not share classes with.

For 40 Days, during the most sacred time of year, the Yomim Noraim, And the Yartzeit of this special Tzadik.

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SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

Shira Superstars is Off to a Super Start

n Sunday, September 15, Shira Superstars launched its 2019-20 program out of Shulamith. With professional instructors and fun specialties, the girls and boys in the program had a blast during week one. Shira Superstars lets participants pick their classes so everyone gets to do activities they love and learn the skills they want to acquire. Every child enjoyed a class in either Food Art or Art for one of their choices. This week the older art class made hot air balloons with actual balloons. Both Food Art classes were so much fun that not all of the

projects made it home. Girls in Theater enjoyed an acting game called Action Man. Meanwhile, the Dance class, given by three of Camp Shira’s most popular counselors, was non-stop fun. The younger girls who were in ballet or gymnastics got to learn from trained coaches who taught them some beginner moves and stretches. The kindergarten and Pre-1A boys enjoyed playing soccer and focusing on team play and passing in sports by Dovid Pollock or learning introductory karate blocks with Sensei Meir Breuer. The adorable nursery boys and girls made a craft

necklace and then enjoyed a gymnastics class. Everyone ended their Sunday with lunch and then ran to dismissal to tell their parents about all of the activities they did. One week down, 16 more weeks of fun left to go. It was a fantastic start to the best Sunday program in town. The next class is this Sunday, September 22. There are a couple of spots left in the entire program. Parents can see more info and register at campshirany.com/Superstars. They can also email shirasuperstars@gmail. com or text 516-456-8392.

Running With Purpose: Team Lifeline Takes on The Las Vegas Marathon

n September 11, 2001, Cindy heard the horrific news: there was a terror attack at the Twin Towers, where her sister Nancy Morgenstern worked. Life would never be the same. Now, 18 years later, Cindy decided to do something she knows her sister would be proud of. On Sunday, November 17, Cindy will be joining more than 150 men and women as they lace up their sneakers and run with Team Lifeline in the annual Rock ‘n’ Roll Las Vegas Marathon. While Team Lifeline participants are looking forward to running along the world-famous Las Vegas Strip, they are also running to support Chai Lifeline, the international children’s health support network. Team Lifeline is an endurance training program that brings groups

of people to destination races across the country, including New York City and Miami, to raise funds and awareness for Chai Lifeline. Team members are treated to an inspirational weekend, including airfare and Shabbat accommodations at the beautiful Palazzo Hotel, building camaraderie and a community of support. Leading up to the marathon, participants receive personalized training schedules, online coaching, and other helpful resources for all running levels. “Whether you are an athlete, or have never run a mile in your life,

Team Lifeline offers an unparalleled experience for an important cause,” said Moshe Turk, director of Team Lifeline. “Our runners run with purpose and show Chai Lifeline’s thousands of families living with pediatric illness that they are not alone.” “Nancy was one of the most determined people I knew,” said Itzkowitz. “She was passionate, hard-working, loving, and her adventurous spirit was seen in everything she did. She was truly full of life. When choosing which charity to run for, it was a no-brainer.” Team Lifeline benefits Chai

Lifeline’s more than two dozen year-round programs and services, including professional case management; counseling; meal delivery to hospitals and homes; transportation to medical appointments; the summer experience of a lifetime for children with cancer and chronic illnesses at Camp Simcha and Camp Simcha Special; Project Chai crisis intervention, trauma and bereavement workshops for families, schools, and communities; insurance advocacy; family retreats and respite; i-Shine afterschool national programs for children living with illness or loss in their homes; and more. To register with any of Team Lifeline’s upcoming marathons or to learn more, please visit www.teamlifeline.org.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

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SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

9/11: Rambam Remembers

n a very moving 9/11 Memorial Assembly held last Wednesday, the Rambam Mesivta students reflected on the events of that horrific day and were moved to appreciate the heroism of those who fought back. Rabbi Zev Meir Friedman, Rosh HaMesivta of Rambam, flanked by two American flags, began by stressing the significance of learning about history so that the mistakes of the past are not repeated. He spoke about when he heard the news while in Rambam and how he and Rabbi Eliach responded to the news of the attacks. He explained that when in a crisis, one needs to rise to the occasion and also one needs to know when

to step back and allow those who need to respond room to respond. “A surgeon can answer some questions to a family member while a patient is going through hours of surgery, but at a certain point, the family can really help by allowing the doctor to go back into the operating room.” Keeping one’s cool in a crisis and giving space is sometimes just as important as actually getting involved. Rabbi Yotav Eliach, principal of Rambam, then spoke to the students providing historical context for the attacks. He noted that as early as 1998, a Western reporter interviewed Bin Laden when Bin Laden declared war on America. He mentioned a number of other attacks and

then showed a video detailing what happened to the World Trade Center. He also spoke about the heroism of the first responders, the firefighters and policemen who, “going against instinct, were running towards danger in-

stead of away from it.” A short video was then shown about the heroic passengers of Flight 93 who fought back against the hijackers and saved countless lives. Considering that many

students were not even born when 9/11 occurred, it was truly amazing that Rabbi Friedman and Rabbi Eliach were able to make something that is “history” feel alive. Those who were killed were not forgotten.

Sulitza Tehillim Kollel

erhaps you didn’t know that every day a group of chashuve Yidden gather daily at the Kosel on your behalf and daven for your health, your success, your parnassah, and your children. In the late 1960s, the previous Sulitzer Rebbe, zt”l, felt that our local community was in trouble — people were moving out and the neighborhood was not prospering. He wasn’t sure how to rebuild it, what to do, or where to go. In 1968, the Rebbe visited Eretz Yisroel, and after davening at the Kosel, he stood there, reciting heartfelt words of Tehillim, beseeching Hashem for the success of the small dying community that was then on the border of Far Rockaway and Lawrence. The Rebbe was reminded of the pasuk we recite daily, “N’shalmah parim sfaseinu [The prayers of our lips take the place of korbanos].” Just as we once had shluchim from every town travel to Yerushalayim to offer korbanos on our behalf at the Beis Hamikdash, the Rebbe, zt”l, believed it seemed fitting for our community to partner with a group of shluchim in Yerushalayim to offer tefillos on our community’s behalf at the kosel. The Rebbe turned to his rebbetzin and committed to reciting Tehil-

lim for the community each day until their departure and to ensuring that the recitation continues daily even after they leave Eretz Yisroel. Thanks to their determination, the Sulitza Tehillim Kollel, Kehilas Yakov, was born. Since its creation and perhaps due to the Kollel’s sincere tefillos, the small, faltering, threatened town of Far Rockaway has exploded into neighboring communities, burgeoning schools, countless shuls, and as far as we can tell, the growth of the Five Towns is nowhere near its end. While we live our daily lives here in the Five Towns, learning Torah and driving carpool, the members of the Tehillim Kollel join together daily in an excavated underground shul where the stones of the Kosel are unblemished and where a small sign by the Aron Kodesh reads, “Mul Kodesh HaKadoshim.” In the holiest accessible spot on Earth, they sit and recite the entire Sefer Tehillim every day, literally davening for you and me and our next-door neighbors. We have shluchim in Yerushalayim offering korbanos for us! And we certainly cannot know which brachos and yeshuos we receive moment to moment because of this incredible zechus. It is appropriate that our mis-

pallelim in Yerushalayim recite Sefer Tehillim in particular because what connects all of us to the Borei Olam and to one another is our Jewish neshama, which finds no greater expression in Olam Hazeh than in the poignant words of Dovid HaMelech, Klal Yisroel’s very first king, who was able to articulate every hope, dream, fear, and emotion inherent in the Jewish soul. All of our deepest sentiments — from grief to joy to uncertainty to delight — can find expression through the psalms that have remained pillars on which we have leaned for generations. During trying times, we have seen our great grandparents, our grandparents, and our parents turn heavenward with their tattered, tearstained Tehillims, begging for rachamei shamayim in the countless forms He bestows it. It is therefore no surprise that the previous Sulitzer Rebbe, zt”l, turned to his Tehillim and that the kollel engages the one language that unites us in order to daven so genuinely for us. We know that the power of one “amen” or one tefilla can move mountains. Do we dare desert the spiritual strength of a Tehillim Kollel, organized just for us, for our very own well-being, at a time when tefilla can

change our communal and personal din for the better? All community members, the beneficiaries of the tefillos being recited by our shluchim at the Kosel — perhaps even the very moment you are reading this — are encouraged to support the continuation of the Sulitza Tehillim Kollel, under the leadership of the Sulitzer Rebbe, Reb Yankel Rubin, shlit”a. Supporters of the Tehillim Kollel readily send to the mispallelim the names of their family members and friends who are anxiously awaiting their particular yeshuos — from health to parnassa and everything in between. What better time is there for you to send them the names of your loved ones and to join those who make this unique kollel possible day after day? Men are invited to a parlor meeting for the kollel at the home of Mr. & Mrs. Yitzy Schmidt, 711 Almont Road, West Lawrence NY 11691, on Tuesday, September 24, at 8:30 pm. We look forward to greeting you in support of this matchless mainstay of our community. In the zechus of your support and the tefillos of the kollel, may each and every one of us merit a gmar chasima tova this year and every year.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

The Sulitze Tehillim Kollel was founded in the

Each day a minyan of ‫ תלמידי חכמים‬recite the

early 1970’s by the Sulitze Rebbe ‫ זצ"ל‬to address

entire ‫ ספר תהלים‬at the kosel in Yerushalayim on

the many challenges that face our community, and

behalf of us – the entire Far Rockaway and Five

has continued since then with its ‫ עבודת הקודש‬to

Towns Community.

support us with their daily tefillos.

We ask you to please join the Tehillim Kollel parlor meeting for men at our home 711 Almont Road, West Lawrence NY 11691 Tuesday September 24, '19 ‫ כ"ד אלול תשע"ט‬,‫יום ג' פרשת נצבים ג' סליחות‬ 8:30 p.m.

Guest Speaker: Horav Avrohom Schorr Shlita ‫רב דקהל נזר גדליהו‬

Mr. & Mrs. Yitzy Schmidt COMMITTEE: R' Yossi Finerman

Rabbi Pesach Lerner

R' Adam Hersh Frankel

R' Moishe Mandel

R' Duvid Greenbaum

R' Yitzy Schmidt

R' Mordechai Guberman

R' Sender Schwartz

R' Yitzy Halpern

R' Dovid Simha

R' Yumie Knobel

R' Moshe Unger

SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

A view of Yeshiva Darchei Torah’s Beis Medrash second seder last week

My Extended Family

rs. Hirsch arrived 10 minutes early for our meeting, 3 children in tow. Her 11-year-old son Dovid was visibly angry, while her younger daughters, ages 6 and 9, seemed shy and uncomfortable. Beyond those immediate observations I couldn’t help but notice that Dovid’s shirt was torn by the elbows and that his shoes had seen better days. The girls, Dasi and Miriam, were similarly unkempt. Mrs. Hirsch just looked downright depleted. After settling the children down to hang out in our My Extended Family chill room, I invited Mrs. Hirsch into my office to talk. Her story was gut-wrenching and heartbreaking. Yet, I hear such stories regularly. Mr. and Mrs. Hirsch separated two years ago. Sadly, they have not been able to come to terms as both have drawn a line in the sand. Each has a list of requirements, be they financial, chinuch related, or custody related, and neither will budge. Mrs. Hirsch wants to move on but she feels that agreeing to her ex’s terms will ultimately be detrimental for the children. The entire family is in limbo. Mrs. Hirsch freely admits that she feels emotionally incapable of doing all that she should for her kids. She is prone to cry at seemingly random times, leaving the children

to wonder what is going on. Since the separation the children have spiraled down, each in their own way. Dovid was impacted the most, as he idolizes his father and doesn’t get to spend nearly as much time with him as he needs to. Needless to say, Dovid has been struggling in school and has even begun getting into fights with classmates. To top it off, a few months ago he started wetting his bed. Mrs Hirsch feels hopeless and helpless… Mrs. Hirsch’s story is real and all too common. My guess is that most people reading this column have but to look within their own immediate families to find the nearest single parent. Maybe some of you have to move a little further out, beyond your nuclear family, to find the nearest single parent. But in this day and age you will be hard-pressed to find too many people who have to venture too far to find the nearest single parent. I don’t think that it is extreme to say that it is now an epidemic. There are hundreds of children in our community who do not live with both of their parents together. Many of these children wake up every morning feeling scared, angry, lonely, insecure, and immensely guilty. It is an extremely heavy burden for a child. Raising children nowadays is very complex and challenging, even in the

best of cases. Even when there are two parents living together, who love each other and do their best to raise their children right, it is not easy. Single parents are sadly at a disadvantage. They are not weak. They are not less wise. They are not less devoted. In fact, as clinical director of My Extended Family I have had the zechus of working with some of the most impressive fathers and mothers I have ever met. Devoted to the point of ignoring their own personal needs. But that is often not enough. It is not enough because it takes a collaborative effort to raise children. Collaboration between mommy and tatty can yield incredible results. But when that is not possible, collaboration on a wider and deeper scale is necessary. Kol hamekayem nefesh achas mi’yisroel k’ilu kayem olam maleh – anyone who saves a Jewish life is as though he saved a full world. We have thousands of olamos maleh in our community. Many of whom drift through their days in a haze of depression and anguish. We must be prepared to recognize how we as a community can take part in the raising of single-parent children. My Extended Family is an incredible organization supporting single-parent children. We currently have branches in Flatbush and Mon-

sey, and we are preparing for our grand opening in the Five Towns/ Far Rockaway community. We offer a range of services such as weekly programming for children, events and trips throughout the year, interventions and crisis management, and a whole lot more. Our goal is to provide for children from single-parent homes the support and tools necessary to thrive in a potentially chaotic world. We strive to build lasting relationships with children that can carry them through some highly challenging and painful life circumstances. On Wednesday, September 25, the community is invited to our open house, which will begin at 5:30 and take place in Congregation Aish Kodesh. It will iy”H be a lot of fun for boys and girls ages 6-13. This will be a great opportunity to meet the staff and learn more about the services we provide. Rabbi Doniel Drandoff is a Marriage and Family Therapist and is the clinical director of My Extended Family. For more information about MYEF please email rdd@myef.org, check out our website www.myef.org, or follow us on Instagram @my_extended_family.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

The Other Side of the Cork: Psâgot Winery History Makes History Again

By Yael E. Geller, MPH

sâgot winery is certainly a household name for anyone who drinks kosher wine. There is a remarkable range of wines in the portfolio that appeal to every palate and price point. The winery, which lays outside Ramallah and North of Jerusalem, produces more than 350,000 bottles of wine annually, achieving tremendous growth

regardless of calls to boycott the winery, courtesy of the BDS movement. Recently, the prestigious Decanter Magazine rated Psâgot Peak 2016 with a gold medal and 91 points! If that doesn’t speak for the success of the winery, surely a visit to the winery to pop a few bottles with CEO Yaakov Berg and head winemaker and master of his trade Ya’acov Oryah will convince any non-believer. There are some very

exciting things in the works for experienced and novice wine lovers alike at Psâgot. Let’s get a bit of a background on the winery before we dive in for some insider info on the forthcoming projects in the works at Psâgot. Psâgot winery was founded by Na’ama and Yaakov Berg in the village of Psâgot, right outside the perimeter of Jerusalem in 2003. The Bergs had been growing and selling grapes in this region since 1998 and eventually decided the next step was for them to build their own winery. If you look closely at the bottles of wines produced by Psâgot, you will notice a very unique coin or symbol of a coin on the label. This ancient looking coin certainly gives Psâgot a lot of curb appeal, but the story that accompanies the coin is remarkable in and of itself. When the Bergs started construction for their new winery, the excavation of the land set aside to house the winery revealed a very unique asset. Under the winery was a cave with a wine press, which was estimated to be around 2,500 years old! This confirmed that this exact spot had been used for winemaking and grape growing for many generations. While exploring the cave during the early years of the winery, Yaakov discovered an ancient coin. The coin was dated back to 73–66 BC, a time period referred to as the Great Revolt. The coin was inscribed with the words “For Freedom of Zion” and adorned with a vine leaf, while the back face reads “Year Two,” alongside an image of a container known as an amphora, which was used for wine storage in ancient times. This symbol is as important as it was during the times of the revolt as

it is right now in modern times, as many boycott and rally against the very existence of Israel. A replica or image of the coin that was found in the cave embellishes all of the bottles produced at Psâgot. The winery has grown by leaps and bounds since the cave and coin discovery and has since moved its operation to a more expansive campus in Kochav Yaakov, just south of the original winery. Ya’acov Oryah, head winemaker at Psâgot, has his own history in the winemaking world. He joined Psâgot full time as head winemaker extraordinaire in 2014. I have to brag that I’ve known about Ya’acov almost my entire life having known his uncles and cousins and crossing paths many years before he made his mark on the Israeli wine world. Ya’acov has had many small scale productions in the past. Psâgot is his first orchestra, as he refers to it, and it is completely different than playing small scale jazz gig as he was used to. Working as head winemaker for a winery of Psâgot’s magnitude is a completely different ballgame. Ya’acov is extremely critical of his work, and yet he continues to hit homerun after homerun producing more impressive wines with each passing vintage. The white wine program at Psâgot continues to expand. White wine is a must for Ya’acov Oryah, as well as his specialty. We have had the honor to taste a new exciting wine, a bone dry Gewürztraminer. This type of grape is not so common in Israel and certainly not in a dry form. It is usually semi dry, but this wine is absolutely magnificent in its floral dryness it offered. Dare I say it is the most enjoyable Gewürztraminer I can remember? Many people frown

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

Around the Community and cringe at white wine lovers. Rejoice please! White wine is fun, sophisticated, and macho. In some cases, a white wine can age for years and develop into a completely different wine with some patience. If you intend to have some fun you should absolutely pop a white at your Shabbos table this week, or better yet, tonight for dinner. It is highly recommended by Ya’acov Oryah to give extra thought to the food pairings with white wines. They are perfect to accompany some fish and chips with a fresh salsa verde on top. They pair beautifully with veal Milanese or even some lemony grilled chicken. Ya’acov’s approach is as simple as he explains, “This is not a beverage to consume alongside your meal, but a drink that should be in a dialog with the dish. If you do so, you will see how the versatility of white wine styles, which pair with many more dishes than reds, can give us a new kind of enjoyment of wine altogether.” If you are ready to have fun, then white wines are cut out for the task. They can be lean or heavy, from bone dry through all the levels of sweetness. They can be oaked and

un-oaked, still or sparkling, and in all styles loaded (or restrained) with minerality, atop fruitiness or spiciness. This incredible spectrum of styles give us many options to have some serious fun in the kitchen as well as at the table. Psâgot’s vineyards are located in the Binyamin region. I shared some interest in the concept of terroir also known as the makeup of the soil or land and climate that the vineyards are planted on. Terroir can give a lot of character to different grapes, but if not treated and cared for properly, the terroir can be expressed in a negative light, highlighting the wrong characteristics of grape varietals. Some philosophies were shared with me about how Psâgot approaches the terroir. It is considered an “ingredient” in wine that cannot be replaced. It is absolutely important, however, and it cannot be labeled good or bad as it is the only key to a wine’s uniqueness. When terroir is not utilized, it is considered useless. You have to know how to work with it to allow its expression in the wine. If you succeed, your wine will have an un-copyable advantage. The same

is true for a warm Mediterranean climate. It is not good or bad – it is what you learn how to work with and what to do with it. We can look forward to several new projects and wine varieties in the near future from Psâgot. After many years of focusing on red wines, Psâgot offered two white wine varietals, Chardonnay and Viognier. The newly added 2018 Gewürztraminer noted previously, and in 2019 Psâgot will start to yield fruit from a newly planted Sauvignon Blanc vineyard, a very exciting endeavor in the hands of Ya’acov Oryah. Something very unique to an Israeli winery was started in 2014, a traditional method sparkling wine program. There is a new Pinot Noir vineyard which will start to yield fruit in 2019 designated for the sparkling wine program. I had the pleasure to visit Psâgot back in 2016 and was able to taste a very early sample of the divine sparkler. Every time I recall that trip, my mouth waters for the lovely bubbly mouthfeel of this wine. It was nowhere near ready at the time, so we look forward to its release in the next few years. Some other interesting

wines which should be on everyone’s radar are the Cabernet Franc, as well as the new Malbec. The style has recently gotten a slight upgrade to a more fresh style for people to enjoy on any night of the week. Psâgot’s wines are versatile and a beautiful expression of what Israeli Wine can accomplish with the care and expertise of a brilliant team, terroir, and good fruits. They are achieving the full expression of what the great land of Israel has to offer. Psâgot winery has everything it needs to produce wines that are beloved by all kosher consumers, from the expertise of Yaakov Berg, a state of the art beautiful facility with a visitors center, and Ya’acov Oryah’s creativity and love for a great wine experiment. I’ll drink to that any day! L’chaim! The visitor’s center is located in Kochav Yaakov about 15 minutes from Jerusalem. You can reach the winery at Phone: 052-771-0220 Email: events@binyamin.co.il. The winery is a beautiful location to host your smachot like a wedding, bar/ bat mitzvah, or siyum.

SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

Worldwide Achdus at Dirshu’s Upcoming International Yom Limud and Tefilla By Chaim Gold

hen Hashem sees His children living in unity and harmony, He looks upon them favorably. The Chofetz Chaim stresses this point countless times in his seforim, especially in the Sefer Chofetz Chaim and Shmiras Halashon. This is one of the primary reasons that Dirshu holds a special, yearly Yom Limud and Tefilla on his yahrtzeit, 24 Elul, just over a week before Rosh Hashana. Indeed, Rosh Hashana is around the corner. It is a time for introspection and tefilla, a time for contemplation and hakoras hatov. Exactly at this time is when we realize the enormity of the spiritual hakoras hatov that we owe to the Chofetz Chaim, who bestowed upon us the twin brachos of the Mishnah Berurah and the Sefer Chofetz Chaim, seforim that illuminate our spiritual lives every single day of the year. Dirshu’s ‘International Yom Limud and Tefilla’ brings together Jews throughout the world to recite specific chapters of Tehillim and learn segments from the two seminal se-

forim written by the Chofetz Chaim, the Mishnah Berurah and the Sefer Chofetz Chaim. The Yom Limud and Tefilla, under the auspices of Dirshu and its kiruv arm, Acheinu, is designed to reach out with a message of achdus to all Jews from across the spectrum and at all levels of observance, promoting Torah learning and tefilla. This year’s Yom Limud and Tefilla is the fifth such event. Over the past years, more than one million Yidden across the world participated in this auspicious day. Jews from Five Continents Join in Unity This year, too, Jews from all walks of life, spanning five continents, will gather together on Tuesday, 24 Elul/ September 24th to invoke rachmei shomayim in advance of the approaching Rosh Hashana. From the Kosel Haamaaravi to classrooms in Texas and Williamsburg; from Teveria to Melbourne, Australia, and Buenos Aries, Argentina, Yidden will come together to recite Tehillim and learn the seforim of the Chofetz Chaim, while resolving

to follow the hallowed path which he forged. Throughout the diverse communities across the United States and Canada, a wide range of more than forty schools that truly represent the entire panoply of Orthodox Jewry, have signed up for the Yom Limud and Tefilla school programs. They include schools hailing from communities such as Monsey, NY; Lakewood, NJ; Brooklyn, NY; Manhattan, NY; Toronto, Canada; Houston, TX; Baltimore, MD; Cleveland, OH; Waterbury, CN; Phoenix, AZ; Passaic, NJ; Denver, CO; Boston, MA; Los Angeles, CA; and Providence, RI. In addition, nearly thirty chassidishe schools in Brooklyn, Lakewood, and Monsey will also be participating. Engaging the Children Dirshu has made available remarkably compelling, artfully designed booklets in both English and Yiddish for three different age groups: grades 1-3, 4-5, and 6-8. The twenty-page booklets were written by well-known mechanech and writer, Rabbi Yechiel Spero. Each of the three versions of booklets contain beautiful

stories about the Chofetz Chaim and other gedolim that emphasize the lessons taught by the Chofetz Chaim. The compelling stories with captivating graphics make the children want to read it and be inspired. As a complement to the program, Rabbi Spero recorded a CD with a story of the Chofetz Chaim that will be distributed to each child in the many participating schools. This year Dirshu brilliantly designed a Yiddish version of the booklet tailormade for the chassidishe chadorim. Those schools distributed a CD made especially for the occasion by the famed chassidishe rebbe and storyteller, Rabbi Leibish Lish. The schools will also say Tehillim on behalf of Klal Yisroel and the tefilla of ‘Acheinu Kol Bais Yisrael.’ Each school will be commemorating the yahrtzeit of the Chofetz Chaim in the way best suited to its needs. Some schools will be holding large, school-wide assemblies where the menahelim and rebbeim will talk about the legacy of the Chofetz Chaim, and where all of the tinokos shel bais rabban in the school will daven together on behalf of Klal Yisroel. In other schools, each rebbe will give the material out to his class individually and will teach the class about the yahrtzeit, followed by tefillos. At Schools, the Kosel, and Homes of Gedolim in Eretz Yisroel In Eretz Yisroel, according to Rabbi Gershon Kroizer, who oversaw the division covering schools in Israel and Europe, “Hundreds of schools encompassing many thousands of children will participate in the Yom Limud and Tefilla utilizing the unique content provided to commemorate the auspicious day.” In addition, a special tefilla gathering will be held at the vasikin tefilla at the Kosel Hamaaravi. “One of the most exciting aspects of the program in Eretz Yisroel,” said Dirshu’s Rabbi Avigdor Berenstein, “is the special tefilla gatherings to be held in the homes of the towering Gedolei Yisrael, HaGaon HaRav Shmuel Wosner, zt”l, and HaGaon HaRav Aharon

Yom Limud and Tefilla at the Kosel in 2018

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

Around the Community Leib Shteinman, zt”l, who had such a profound impact on the previous generations and who, with their tzidkus and harbotzas haTorah, so embodied the Chofetz Chaim’s teachings and goals. The great talmidim of these two gaonim will gather in their homes on the yahrtzeit and daven to invoke rachamei shomayim on behalf of Klal Yisroel and promote lessons of shalom and achdus.” Encouraging Jewish Unity Among the Masses The effort to encourage Jewish Unity among the masses will go well beyond the Torah community. That undertaking is being spearheaded by the Acheinu organization, the kiruv arm of Dirshu. Last year, that endeavor was remarkably well received by secular Jews. In fact, this idea of the importance of Jewish Unity was even picked up by the secular press. Articles about the importance of the Day of Jewish Unity that coincides with the yahrzeit of the Chofetz Chaim appeared in numerous general publications such as Fox News, the Washington Times, the

Participants at a previous Dirshu Yom Limud and Tefilla in Argentina

Huffington Post, the American Thinker, and the Jerusalem Post. The bottom line is that every thinking Jew can’t fail to realize that we are living in truly perilous times. Even in the United States there is a certain sense of instability as the harsh political strife and extraordinary mean-spiritedness has reached

unprecedented levels. There is civil unrest and the threat of terrorism both domestic and imported, at home and abroad, that can have severe ramifications. At this uncertain juncture we are in dire need of tremendous rachmei shomayim. Now, right before the Yom Hadin is the time to join together with

untold numbers of Jews all over the world to daven for Klal Yisroel. The week of the Chofetz Chaim’s yahrzeit is also an exceedingly auspicious time to invoke Divine mercy. Join with Klal Yisroel in the Yom Limud and Tefilla this Tuesday, 24 Elul/September 24, and tap into this unique eis ratzon!

Avinu Malkeinu: A Night of Awakening in Your City

Lawrence Hardware 589 Burnside Ave. Inwood, NY 11096

By: E. Klein

In the Stop and Shop Shopping Center

25,000 people. 13 cities. 7 speakers. 5 countries.

LEITER’S SUKKAH DISTRIBUTOR

vinu Malkeinu, A Night of Awakening, is Ohr Naava’s crowning achievement. What an amazing kiddush Hashem it is to see thousands of people in one room preparing for Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur – taking time out of their hectic pre-yom tov schedules to grow in their avodas Hashem. In addition to our incredible Brooklyn event, Ohr Naava has spread its wings in 10 other locations, with many speeches available online. This year, Avinu Malkeinu comes to life in Antwerp, London, Manchester, Toronto, Five Towns, Chica-

go, Miami, Los Angeles, Montreal, Monsey, Lakewood, Flatbush, and Jerusalem. All over the world, Jews of all backgrounds join together to listen to words of inspiration and chizuk to prepare themselves and their families for the yomim noraim. Our blockbuster lineup includes: Mrs. Jackie Bitton, Rav Gav Friedman, Mr. Charlie Harary, Rabbi Paysach Krohn, R’ Eli Mansour, Rabbanit Yemima Mizrahi and R’ Zechariah Wallerstein. Ohr Naava Avinu Malkeinu. 2019 World Wide Tour. Don’t miss it. Ohrnaavaevents.com

(516) 371-2900 Sunday 9:30-3:30 Mon-Thurs 7:30-5:30 Friday 7:30-4:00

Your one stop shopping for all Your sukkah and Yom tov needs

Let our knowledgeable staff help you with all your Sukkah projects Leiter’s Sukkah, Schach Mats and Bamboo, Travel Pop Up Sukkah, Sukkah Decorations, Sukkah lighting and Electrical Supplies, Lumber Cut to Size and Notched, Nuts, Bolts, Washers, Cable Ties, Bee Traps, Mosquito Repellent, Tables and Chairs, Fold Up Cots, Urns with Yom Tov Mode Switch, Shabbos Lamp, Hot Plates, Blechs, Water Filters- Aqua pure, E-Z Filter, Glatt Water and more….

DELIVERY AVAILABLE Extended Holiday Hours Coming soon

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TJH

Centerfold

International Customs Cheat Sheet Here’s a list of customs in various customs from countries around the world, just in case you find yourself and your blue hat on a UN peacekeeping mission there.

Japan: Do not use chopsticks to point at something and don’t stab your sushi with them. I guess in the U.S. we are not cool with people using their spaghetti fork to point at things either, so it’s not so strange.

you’re really enjoying them. Making slurping sounds when eating noodles in the USA is a way of indicating that you’re enjoying them, too, but you still shouldn’t do it because it’s annoying as anything!

Greece: When a child loses a tooth, they throw it on the roof. Must really make the tooth fairy’s life difficult.

Russia: Do not give someone yellow flowers in this country, as they are associated with ending relationships. Isn’t that what vodka is for?

Norway: Use a knife and fork, even when eating a sandwich. No wonder people from Norway are so serious.

South Korea: Do not write someone a note with a red pen, as red pens were used to list the names of those who had died. Red pens scare me too…every test I ever took came back with a whole lot of red pen.

China: When giving a gift, make sure that it does not contain the colors white or black, as they are associated with death and funerals. And make sure you didn’t buy it on Alibaba because it’ll fall apart in just a few minutes. Thailand: If it’s November and you see platters of fresh fruit, cakes, and candy on top of tables that line the streets, don’t eat any. It is for the local monkeys to feast on, in a feast called the Monkey Buffet Festival. They sure aren’t monkeying around. China: Making slurping sounds when eating noodles in China is a way of indicating that

Nicaragua: It is common to point with the lips instead of the thumb or index finger like the majority of the world. I guess there is a point to a pucker face after all. Spain: If you are in the town of Bunol and you suddenly find people throwing tomatoes at you, you may have simply stepped into the world’s biggest tomato fight which takes place there the last Wednesday of August. If it’s not the last Wednesday of August, well, then, it may just be something you said.

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015 The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

United Nations Trivia 1. Who is the current Secretary General of the United Nations? a. António Guterres b. Ban Ki-moon c. Nikki Haley d. Kofi Annan 2. Which one of the following countries is not a member of the UN Human Rights Council? a. Afghanistan b. China c. Cuba d. Saudi Arabia e. United States 3. The longest speech in the history of the UN was made

 Answers

on January 23, 1957. It was for five hours. Who gave the speech? a. Russian President Nikita Khrushchev, accusing the U.S. of nuclear proliferation b. Indian representative V.K. Krishna Menon, defending India’s position on Kashmir

4. How many countries are members of the UN?

b. The State of New York c. Joseph Kennedy

a. 54

d. The U.S. Government

b. 112 c. 193 d. 237 5. What is the color of UN peacekeepers’ helmets or berets? a. White

c. Egypt’s Mahmoud Fawzi, arguing that Israel does not have a right to exist d. Cuban President Fidel Castro, claiming that the U.S. was poisoning its water

a. John Rockefeller, Jr.

supply

b. Blue

7. Which president signed the United Nations Charter, making the United States the first nation to complete the ratification process and join the UN?

c. Green

a. Harry Truman

d. Red

b. Franklin D. Roosevelt

6. Who donated the property where the UN is headquartered?

c. Dwight D. Eisenhower d. Woodrow Wilson

 Wisdom Key 5-7 correct: You should try to get the position as next UN Secretary General. You may have to change your name from Gila Goldberg to Gwonzlliala Gwaldbwagle in order to increase the odds, though. 2-4 correct: You are stuck in the middle of the pack. You need a good five-hour speech and some real foot stomping during your next speech at the General Assembly in order to make yourself stand out. 1-1 correct: You are UN-un-educated!

You gotta be

kidding

Two windmills are standing in a field. One asks the other, “What kind of music do you like?” The other windmill says, “Well, I’m a big metal fan...”

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7. A 6. A 5. B 4. C 3. B 2. E 1. A

SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 | The Jewish Home The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

Torah Thought

Parshas Ki Savo By Rabbi Berel Wein

aying thank you is one of the basic courtesies of human interaction. Though elementary and straightforward, it is often forgotten or neglected. In saying thank you, we are acknowledging that we are dependent upon the goodness and consideration of others and that we are not

completely in control over events and even of our own decisions in life. In traditional homes, both Jewish and general, some of the first words that children are taught are “thank you,” “please” and “may I.” In fact, these words are the building blocks of civilized behavior and of being able

to get along peacefully and gently in this world. But because of our egotistical nature, as children and later in life as adults, we resent the necessity of having to use these words and to thereby acknowledge our dependence upon others. It is always ironic that we expect expressions of gratitude from others but are very sparing in granting them ourselves. If this be true, as I feel it is in families and among other relationships, it is also true regarding our

acknowledgment of appreciation to G-d for having provided this bounty to the farmer. There is no question that the farmer invested a great deal of effort, sweat, and toil in bringing his crops to fruition. Because of this effort and the investment on the part of the farmer, there is a temptation that he will view these new fruits as an entitlement. For, after all, he was the one who devoted the time and effort necessary to produce them. There is a danger that

These words are the building blocks of civilized behavior.

relationship to our Creator. The Torah refers to the lack of gratitude as a cardinal sin of personality. It is based in arrogance and a false assessment of one’s place in the world. Therefore, Judaism stresses humility, for only in humility can one expect to find expressions of gratitude. The Torah reading of this week begins with the necessity for expressions of gratitude for the blessings of a bountiful harvest and the first fruits of the agricultural year. These fruits were to be brought to the Temple in Jerusalem as an offering to the priests serving there and as an

he will forget that there really are no entitlements in life and that one has to say thank you for everything that is achieved, though ostensibly we have labored to achieve this much desired goal. Rather, it is incumbent upon the farmer to thank his Creator for the land and the natural miracles that occurred daily in the production of food, grain and fruit. As the old year winds down, we should all remember to say thank you for life, goodness, and family, and pray that the new year will bring us more of the same. Shabbat shalom.

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From the Fire

Parshas Ki Savo The Attitude Toward Privacy By Rav Moshe Weinberger Adapted for publication by Binyomin Wolf

he central feature of the parsha is the bris, the covenant, at Har Gerizim and Har Eival. Although the Jewish people entered into a covenant with Hashem on Mt. Sinai, this next generation renewed their covenant with Hashem before entering Eretz Yisroel. Their entry into Eretz Yisroel represented not just the same covenant for a new generation, but also a change in their whole way of life. They were about to go from clouds of glory, the well of Miriam, and manna descending from heaven every morning to a life engaged with physicality and working the land. Every major change in life requires a new covenant. On a deeper level, every new year is a new reality, according to the Baal Hatanya and other tzaddikim. So as we approach Rosh Hashana, we must also enter into a new covenant with Hashem. Every week is also a new reality, so the renewed covenant between ourselves and Hashem is reflected in the language of havdala as well. The focus of the covenant at Mt. Grizim and Mt. Eival was the eleven specific curses called out by the Levi’im and the last curse which was all inclusive (Devarim 27:26): “Cursed is one who does not uphold the words of this Torah...” These twelve curses correspond to the twelve tribes of the Jewish people who were standing to

listen to them. There was a significant difference between the terms of this covenant relative to the earlier covenants. The earlier covenants were worded generally, referring to the obligation to observe the Torah as a whole. Here, however, the eleven curses contained much more specificity. For example, one curse was (Devarim 27:16) “cursed is the man who makes an idol or graven image, which is an abomination to G-d, the work of an artisan’s hand, and places it [in his home] in secret...” (emphasis added). In addition, another curse is (Id. at 24) “cursed is one who smites his friend in secret...” (emphasis added). We see an emphasis on strengthening that which people do in the privacy of their homes. This is related to the halacha that every Jew is responsible each other’s actions. That concept is based on, among other sources, the Gemara (Sanhedrin 27b), which says, “All [Jews] are responsible for one another.” We are only responsible for other’s actions in public, as the pasuk in next week’s parsha (Devarim 29:28) says, “The hidden matters are for Hashem our G-d, but the revealed matters are for us and our children forever.” Rashi there explains that we are only responsible for others’ known actions, but not those that are done

privately. We only became responsible for others’ actions when we accepted the renewed covenant on Mt. Grizim and Mt. Eival in this week’s parsha. Because others have no responsibility for our private actions, these curses were meant in part to strengthen us particularly with respect to our actions done in private. Many people act one way in public and another way in private. Sometimes this is for the good and sometimes it is the opposite. A person could give tzedaka or perform acts of kindness to strangers or even people in his own family without anyone else knowing about it. On the other hand, others look like loving husbands and wives in public but live in a gehenom of this world in the privacy of their homes. Others seem righteous and holy to the outside world but no one sees what they do on the computer at 1:30 in the morning when no one else is watching. The curses in this week’s parsha therefore come to strengthen our resolve to act just as righteously privately as we do publicly. While the Jewish people were known for their modest conduct in the desert (See Bava Basra 60a), they were still living very close to a large number neighbors. As we know from the days of the tenements in New York, no matter how much people respect each

others’ privacy, when many people live so close together, everyone is aware of everyone else’s business. But as the Jewish people were about to move into Eretz Yisroel, to the “suburbs,” so to speak, with their own private homes and farms, they were about to experience a level of privacy that was quite new. They therefore needed to be strengthened in the responsible use of such privacy. But this concept goes even further according to the Ramban’s explanation of the final curse (Devarim 27:26), “cursed is one who does not uphold the words of this Torah...” According to the Ramban, if it meant that one is cursed if he does not fulfill the Torah generally, it would have said “cursed is one who does not observe...” rather than “one who does not uphold.” The pasuk therefore means that one should uphold the words of the Torah in his heart, believing that they are true and that those who keep the Torah will be rewarded and those who violate it will be punished. One must uphold the Torah not only in the privacy of his home, but also in the most private place of all: in his own heart. No one else knows what is inside a person’s heart. Someone could seem very religious on the outside but be completely devoid of emunah in his heart. The world talks about a “new”

type of Orthodox Jew called “Orthoprax,” who lives an observant lifestyle but does not believe in the truth of the Torah, G-d forbid. I once read an article in which the author interviewed someone who described himself as a maggid shiur who gave a shiur in lomdus, complex Talmudic analysis, but who admitted that he believed in absolutely nothing. He did not believe in the Torah he was teaching to others. As the Jewish people entered Eretz Yisroel then, and as we enter into Rosh Hashana now, the Torah has one message for us. We must not rely exclusively on what our neighbors, friends, and family think of us. We must accept and keep the Torah because we recognize the absolute truth of Hashem’s existence and His presence in our lives in our hearts. As Rav Yochanan ben Zakai blessed his students before his death (Brachos 28b), “’May it be [Hashem’s] will that the fear of Heaven should be upon you like the fear of flesh and blood.’” His students said to him, ‘Only that much?’ He said to them, ‘Would

that it would be that much...’” Our fear of other people knowing what we do or feel is great because we see them beside us. The Torah is asking us to feel in the privacy of our homes and our

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during davening, “A person should always fear heaven in hidden places and out in the open...” There is a well-known story about Reb Moshe Leib Sassover. One day he

One must uphold the Torah not only in the privacy of his home, but also in the most private place of all: in his own heart.

hearts that Hashem is right there with us just as surely as our neighbor is. Hashem is called (Yishayahu 45:15) “the hidden G-d Who cannot be seen...” But the Torah calls upon us to recognize the presence of Hashem, Who seems hidden, just as we recognize when another person is standing beside us. As we say every morning

was walking along a road and someone drove by on a wagon and offered him a ride. He gladly accepted and it was clear that the driver did not recognize who Reb Moshe Leib was. As they were riding, the driver stopped the wagon by an orchard and got off the wagon. Reb Moshe Leib asked him what he was doing, and he answered that he was going

to go into the orchard and get them a meal. He instructed Reb Moshe Leib to be his lookout and whistle if anyone was watching. Before the man had gone a few feet into the orchard, Reb Moshe Leib whistled loudly. The man quickly came out and looked around and saw no one. He therefore asked why Reb Moshe Leib had whistled. He pointed to the sky and said, “The Ribbono Shel Olam is watching.” As we get closer to Rosh Hashana, the Torah’s message to us is to become conscious of Hashem’s presence in public, in private, and in the privacy of our hearts. In the merit of accepting this covenant with Hashem now, may we merit to enter Eretz Yisroel one final time as a nation, with the coming of Moshiach, may it be soon in our days. Rav Moshe Weinberger, shlita, is the founding Morah d’Asrah of Congregation Aish Kodesh in Woodmere, NY, and serves as leader of the new mechina Emek HaMelech.

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Parsha

in 4

Parshas Ki Savo By Eytan Kobre

Weekly Aggada Blessed will you be in the city, and blessed will you be in the field (Devarim 28:3) Blessed will you be when you come, and blessed will you be when you leave (Devarim 28:7) R’ Abba once chanced upon the students of Rav and asked them how Rav had understood these verses. They said to him, “So said Rav: ‘Blessed will you be in the city’ – that your house will be near a shul. ‘Blessed will you be in the field’ – that your property will be close to the city. ‘Blessed will you be when you come’ – that you will not find your wife in a possible state of impurity when you return from your travels. ‘Blessed will you be when you leave’ – that your progeny will you be like you.” R’ Abba replied, “R’ Yochanan did not interpret the verses in that manner but in the following manner: ‘Blessed will you be in the city’ – that your bathroom will be near your table [but not that it refers to a shul]; for R’ Yochanan is of the opinion that one is rewarded for walking long distances to shul (and so having a shul near one’s home is not a blessing). ‘Blessed will you be in the field’ – that your property will be divided into thirds of grain, olives, and grapes. ‘Blessed will you be when you come, and blessed will you be when you leave’ – that your departure from this world will be as your entry into this world: just as your entry into this world was without sin, so your departure from this world will be without sin” (Bava Metzia 107a).

Weekly Mussar And you shall answer and you shall say before Hashem your G-d, “My father was a wandering Aramean, and he descended to Egypt and sojourned there, few in number, and he became there a nation, great, mighty, and populous (Devarim 26:5) “And you shall answer and you shall say” – that you do not deny G-d’s good (Rashi). Looking at the entire episode of the bringing of Bikkurim (first fruits), notes R’ Zeidel Epstein, this is not the first time the offeror is to make a pronouncement, to “answer and say.” In fact, only two verses earlier, the Torah instructs the offeror of Bikkurim to come to the Kohen “and say to him that you are thankful for the land that G-d promised to your forefathers.” So why does the Torah seem to repeat itself and instruct the offeror again to “answer and say” that he does not deny the good G-d has done for him? And, further, what is added by the instruction to “answer and say” that you do not deny the good G-d has done for you (Rashi) – the verses themselves instruct the offeror of Bikkurim to recount our thanks for the land that G-d promised to our forefathers? There are two expressions of gratitude here, explains R’ Zeidel. The first is simple: we thank G-d for all the good He has done for us and continues to do for us. That is what the offeror acknowledges when he first “says” to the Kohen that he is thankful for the land that G-d promised his forefathers. But then there is another expression of gratitude, reflected in the subsequent “and you shall answer and you shall say” –

thanking G-d for giving us the sort of true life where we have the privilege of recognizing His good and thanking Him for it. This is what we allude to in the chazzan’s repetition of Shemoneh Esrei when we say, while thanking G-d for granting and preserving our lives, “regarding that which we thank you.” Yes, we must (and do) thank G-d for all He does for us. But we also thank G-d for giving us the kind of true lives where we are able to recognize all His good and thank Him for it.

Weekly Anecdote Blessed will you be when you come, and blessed will you be when you leave (Devarim 28:7) “‘Blessed will you be when you leave’ – that your progeny will you be like you” (Bava Metzia 107a). The Ridvaz, R’ Yaakov Dovid Wilovsky (1845-1913), lived in Tzfas during his later years. One cold winter day, on the yahrzeit of his father, he arrived in shul a bit early for Mincha. He waited for davening to begin, seemingly lost in thought, before erupting into a fit of hysterical crying. Knowing it was his father’s yahrzeit, the others who came to shul gave him his distance. But one man did approach. “I understand it is your father’s yahrzeit. But he was over 80 when he passed away and that was more than fifty years ago. Without meaning to be insensitive, why are you crying now so uncontrollably?” “You are right,” answered the Ridvaz. “But let me explain… “When I was a young boy, my father arranged for the very best Torah

teacher in town to be my private tutor for payment of one ruble per month – a steep price back then, especially for my father who barely eked out a meager existence by building ovens. “Well, that year, there was no cement or plaster to be found, so my father could not build any ovens. We had no money at all, and my father could not afford to pay my tutor. My tutor did what he could to keep me on, but at the conclusion of those three months, he sent me home with a note informing my parents that, unless he received the three rubles outstanding by the next morning, he would be unable to continue learning with me. “I brought the note home and watched as my parents read it, tears filling their eyes. They were happy to accept a life of poverty but they were not prepared to accept a situation where I could not study with a top-tier tutor. “As it happened, just that day, my father heard of a certain wealthy man who was building a house for his son and future daughter-in-law but was unable to have an oven built due to the shortage of cement and plaster. A family could scarcely survive the brutal Russian winter without a proper oven, which was needed not only for baking but also as a source of heat. So the wealthy man offered six rubles to anyone who could build an oven for the new home. “My father looked at the tutor’s letter, then at my mother, then at our own oven. My father told my mother of the wealthy man’s offer, and my parents nodded in agreement. And just like that, my father dismantled our own oven, brick by brick, until he had all the bricks needed to construct an oven for the wealthy man. He immediately

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015 The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

set out for the new home being built by the wealthy man, where he constructed a fine oven for the newlyweds-to-be. Upon completion, the elated wealthy man paid my father the six rubles he had promised. “The next morning, my father handed me six rubles. ‘Go to your tutor and tell him that three of these rubles are for payment of arrears, and the other three are payment for the next three months.’ “That winter, my family nearly froze to death so that I could have the very best Torah teacher. That was the sacrifice my parents made so I could grow to become a Torah scholar. “You ask why I cry. Well, it is quite cold out today, and I considered arranging to daven at home rather than trekking out to shul. Then I recalled how my parents had endured the bitter cold that winter so many years ago just so I could have the very best Torah tutor. How could I be deterred by a little chill like this? “And that is why I was crying.”

Weekly Halacha Cursed is the one who does not uphold the words of this Torah, to do them (Devarim 27:26) This refers to one who literally lifts the Torah to display it to others before or after Torah reading

for the congregation to see its writing (Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 134:2), although there is no requirement to show the specific portion read that day (Piskei Teshuvos 134:4). When the Torah is lifted, all present must stand (Shaar HaTzion 146:18; Piskei Teshuvos 134:7), and one should make an effort to see the letters of the scroll, bow

“That winter, my family nearly froze to death so that I could have the very best Torah teacher.”

(Ramban, Devarim 27:26), known as “Hagba.” During Hagba, the Torah is lifted

slightly, and recite the verse “V’zos HaTorah” (Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 134:2). A great light shines

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upon those who make an effort to read some of the words from the Torah scroll during Hagba (Mishna Berura 134:11). The Torah should be opened so that three columns are visible (Magen Avraham 134:3; Sofrim 1414; Elya Rabba 134:4; Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 23:25; Mishna Berura 134:8), although there is some debate as to whether precisely three columns should be displayed or a minimum of three columns should be displayed. Others rule that the number of columns shown depends upon the physical prowess of the lifter (Mishna Berura 134:8). The Weekly Halacha is not meant for practical purposes and is for discussion purposes only. Please consult your own rav for guidance. Eytan Kobre is a writer, speaker, and attorney living in Kew Gardens Hills. Questions? Comments? Suggestions? E-mail eakobre@outlook.com.

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The Wandering

Jew

Planting New Seeds Part II By Hershel Lieber

Toiveling a pot in the Wisla River near the Hotel Forum

he seeds that were planted in Poland in the summer of 1988 needed a lot more water and sun. In 1989, Rabbi Chaskel Besser asked me again to teach and help run the Ronald Lauder summer program. This time he gave me a great partner to assist me in every aspect: my wife, Pesi. This would be Pesi’s first trip to Poland, so we left New York a week earlier than the program would be-

Pesi in the bais olam behind the Remu Shul

Pesi with Mrs. Vogel, caretaker of the Remu Shul

gin. Our plan was to be in London for three days and to spend three days, including Shabbos, in Krakow. Those first days in London were pure tourism. We share a passion to see everything to the point of obsession: Big Ben and a live session of Parliament, the Tower of London and the Crown Jewels, a boat trip on the Thames to Greenwich, riding the Underground, Trafalgar Square,

Pesi at the entrance of the Remu Shul

Piccadilly Circus (no, it’s not a real circus), the British Museum, Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum, Hyde Park, Mark & Spencer’s, and, of course, the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace. About the only thing we missed was an audience with the Queen. We stayed at a small inn in Stamford Hill and visited family there. We ate at restaurants in the city center and in Golder’s Green. In

short, we jammed a week’s worth of activities into three and a half days! Arriving Thursday evening in Krakow at 9p.m. we were so bushed that all we could do was go to sleep immediately. The next day was the only day we had to see Krakow. I took Pesi to see all the Jewish sites in the Kazimierz district, the former Jewish section of town. We went to the Remu Shul, the Old Synagogue,

With Shmiel Roth, Eta, and Zeesha Jakyl, left, our driver in Dombrowa

With Tadeusz Jakubowicz, president of Krakow’s kehilla

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 9, 2019

At Yeshivas Chachmei Lublin, which was converted to a medical college

the Kupa Shul, the Temple, and to both cemeteries, where so many of the famous rabbis are interred. I also showed Pesi the house where my father lived, my mother’s apartment, my grandfather’s building and courtyard, and places that were part of my family’s history. I introduced Pesi to both Mrs. Vogel, who was the administrator of the Remu Shul, and to Tadeusz Jakubowicz, the president of the Krakow kehillah. In the afternoon we were busy putting together food for Shabbos in addition to the canned meats we brought along. We shopped for fruits, vegetables, drinks, and flowers. We bought a pot, and I toiveled it in the Wisla River near our hotel. We peeled and cooked the vegetables. Mrs. Vogel got us an electric burner, a blech, and a large thermos bottle. Tired, yet very excited, we were finally ready for Shabbos. Pesi lit the Shabbos candles, and I took a taxi to the Remu Shul. I was asked to daven kabbalos Shabbos for the mainly elderly minyan of about 15 men. Besides the locals, there was a couple from Los Angeles and a small Bnai Akiva group from Israel. Mrs. Vogel, Henryk Halkowski, a Jewish tour guide and historian, and a driver named Zeesha Jakyl walked me back to the hotel and joined us for the meal. It was somewhat surreal, sitting in the Forum Hotel on the Wisla River and hosting Yidden from Krakow at our Shabbos seudah. On Shabbos morning, we went early to shul where the group from Bnai Akiva conducted the tefillos. They had a chazzan, and their tour

leader, Chaim Shalem, leined the Torah. We actually had to take out a different sefer Torah when he discovered a missing word before Sheini. After davening, Chaim approached Pesi and showed her his cousin, a woman from Wroclaw named Malka, who was there with her husband and their twelve-year-old son. They also had a daughter a few years older, who remained home. Addressing Pesi in Ivrit, he urged her to befriend Malka who needed outreach to bring her closer to Yiddishkeit. We approached them after davening and, in a combination of German, Yiddish and the few Polish words we knew, told them about the Jewish camp we would be running the following week and invited them to attend. We also invited them to visit us later in the day at our hotel. They did not show up at the hotel, but Chaim came to us after Havdala. He spoke about his family and how they got stuck in Poland after the war. He asked us to help them and to guide them in the direction of a meaningful Jewish life. We committed ourselves to do whatever was necessary to assist them to begin this journey. The next two days, again, were a whirlwind of activities. We left Krakow with Zeesha, who we hired as a driver, and drove to the bais olam in Bochnia. There we davened by the graves of my father’s mother, two of his sisters, and two of their children. In 1943, my parents, with their bare hands and a single spoon, dug their relatives’ graves in the snow-blanketed cemetery. They pushed them

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SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 | The Jewish Home SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 | The Jewish Home

Pesi at the mass grave of my grandmother, her daughters, and grandchildren

uphill in a wheelbarrow and buried them together in a mass grave after the Nazis raided the ghetto during a killing spree. My mothers’ parents were also killed later on and are buried somewhere in this cemetery. A few years before this visit, I had put up a plaque as a memorial for all of them. Our next stop was Dombrowa, where we visited the sole Jews living in that town, Shmiel Roth and his sister-in-law Eta. I previously wrote about them and mentioned that they were very religious but chose to remain in Dombrowa to be the guardians of the destroyed synagogue and the forlorn cemetery. We continued on to Rzeszow (Reisha in Yiddish) to daven in the ohel which I helped erect for the Bluzhever Rebbes. Next was Lancut, where we went to visit the grave of the Ropshitzer Rebbe; in Lezajsk we went to daven by the Rebbe Rav Meilech; and then we traveled to to Sieniawa (Shiniva in Yiddish) to say Tehillim by the Divrei Yehezkiel, the oldest son of the Sanzer Rav. It was not until nine o’clock that evening that we arrived in Lublin. We went to the home of Honig, the caretaker of the cemetery. We tried getting a room in the only hotel in town, but it was full. Honig arranged that we sleep by Polish gentiles that he knew. They were very accommodating and served us hot tea and sugar, which we truly appreciated. We made plans with Zeesha and asked that he pick us early the next morning. We felt accomplished but were extremely exhausted and literally fell asleep in seconds. The next morning, Zeesha showed up in a taxi with Honig but an hour

late. He told us that since he, too, had nowhere to sleep, he lied down in the backseat of his car. In order not to get his pants completely creased and to air them out, he carefully placed

By the ohel of the Bluzhever Rebbes which I erected in Rzeszow

had to wait for his son to come from Krakow with another set of keys. Our plans were a bit delayed, but we took the taxi to Chachmei Lublin, the great yeshiva that was built by

He was astonished when he realized in the morning that his pants were gone!

them on the roof of his auto. He was astonished when he realized in the morning that his pants were gone! So were his wallet and his car keys. He

Majdanek, the notorious death camp

Rav Meir Shapira. There, I davened Shacharis alone in the great Bais Midrash Hall. We continued on to the bais olam to daven by the kevarim

of the Chozeh, Rav Sholem Shachne, and the Maharshal. Our next stop was a descent into Gehinnom, the notorious death camp Majdanek. The indescribable horror that shook us up was nowhere near to what existed there less than a half a century before. We spent a great deal of time saying Tehillim in Madjanek as we imagined the tragedy that transpired in that very place. We were finally picked up by Zeesha later in the day and sat mostly in silence as we headed towards Warsaw. We would be dropped off in Komorow, the small village where we would be introducing Yiddishkeit to the next generation in Poland. In many ways, they, too, were victims of the catastrophic Holocaust. Hershel Lieber has been involved in kiruv activities for over 30 years. As a founding member of the Vaad L’Hatzolas Nidchei Yisroel he has traveled with his wife, Pesi, to the Soviet Union during the harsh years of the Communist regimes to advance Yiddishkeit. He has spearheaded a yeshiva in the city of Kishinev that had 12 successful years with many students making Torah their way of life. In Poland, he lectured in the summers at the Ronald S. Lauder Foundation camp for nearly 30 years. He still travels to Warsaw every year – since 1979 – to be the chazzan for Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur for the Jews there. Together with Pesi, he organized and led trips to Europe on behalf of Gateways and Aish Hatorah for college students finding their paths to Jewish identity. His passion for travel has taken them to many interesting places and afforded them unique experiences. Their open home gave them opportunities to meet and develop relationships with a variety of people. Hershel’s column will appear in The Jewish Home on a bi-weekly basis.

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For 10 Years,

Legislator Kopel Has Been a Voice for Our Community By Susan Schwamm

Recently, TJH had the opportunity to speak with Legislator Howard Kopel about certain concerns addressing the community. Leg. Kopel addressed the recent tax assessments, the issue of the Woodmere Golf Club, and the need for the Orthodox community to become involved in political issues. Oh, and did you know that he has twin and triplet grandchildren? Legislator Kopel, it’s been ten years since you’ve come into this position. Tell me how it all began. Twelve years ago, the Republican Party recruited me to run for the Nassau County Legislature. I had reached a point in my life when I could run. I was able to devote time to the position – it takes a lot of your time. And you certainly don’t gain monetarily from it if you’re being honest. At that point, I knew I had the time to do good things and accomplish things and get things done for the community. The first time I ran – 12 years ago – I lost to Jeff Toback. He’s a nice guy. I see him once in a while, and we sit down and chat. The truth is, generally, in today’s politics, things can get ugly. People think, Oh, you’re on the other side; I can’t get along with you. It’s unthink-

ing and it’s unreasonable. I feel that people are people and we’re all entitled to a difference of opinion. You don’t have to hate each other. You can disagree – and disagree agreeably over a beer, or whatever. What’s your schedule at the Legislature? We have meetings twice a month and there are some special meetings and hearings. Most of the work gets done behind the scenes. You work with others to get your votes before the meetings. You’ve got to prepare for them. Even so, that’s only relatively a small part of it. As a representative of your community, you go to many events, to meet your constituents and to get to know the community. It’s a big district and very oddly shaped, by the way. Leg. Denise Ford has part of the Five Towns, and I have another

part. Denise has a district that’s centered more on Long Beach, Atlantic Beach, Lido Beach, etc. Actually, when they redistricted, it seems like they almost drew a line around my house. At first, when I came into the position, I represented the whole Five Towns. Since then, they cut it in a very interesting way – it almost looks like an animal with a very long tail. Most of the district is in East Rockaway, Oceanside, and Rockville Centre. Redistricting will take place again in a few years, and if I’m still in the Legislature, I hope to vigorously advocate to reunite the whole Five Towns – although it’s not the worst thing to have two legislators advocating for you. Legislators are required to run for reelection every two years. Yes. It’s not fun to run. I don’t like

fundraising, but that’s part of the job. Tell me what’s happening with the assessments in the county. There was a reassessment that was planned back during the Mangano administration. Laura Curran, after she took over as county executive, continued that. You’ve got to do it because the rolls had been frozen for 10 years. Real estate values changed, and they were not realistic. But there’s a lot of controversy over the way it was done. I’ll try to not get too far into the weeds over here, but you can have a house that’s got a market value of, let’s say, a half a million. And yet, its assessed value has been 0.25% until now. So your assessed valuation comes out to 1,250, and your taxes might be 6 or 7 or 8 thousand or 10 thousand. How can that be? There’s a state law that says you

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015 The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

Joining with marchers in the Memorial Day Parade

can’t raise assessed valuation more than 6% a year and 20% over five years. But what they do is they manipulate this by what they call the ratio. Instead of assessing it at market value, they assess it at a fraction of the market value. So now, the administration unilaterally lowered this fraction from 0.25 to 0.1, which means that although your value goes up, a lot, usually much more than the 6%, but your assessed value actually came down. Well, let’s take that example: the $500,000 house that was assessed at 0.25%. Now, let’s call it a $700,000 house – the same house because it’s appreciated – but now, you multiply it by only 0.1%, and now its assessed value is only $700. So the assessed value has come down, even though the actual value went up! If that sounds confusing to you, you’re not alone. It’s a terrible system, manipulated by politicians, but the courts say it’s legal. But now, the tax rate comes into play. What happens is that every jurisdiction, whether it’s a village or a town or this county or what have you, has what they call a tax levy. And let’s say the village needs a million dollars to run the village. Well, that million dollars will be divided into the total assessed valuation of all the houses in the village. Each house gets a fraction of the tax rate and that gets applied to your assessed value. Your tax is relative to what your neighbors’ taxes are because of each person’s assessed value and their percentage of the total tax levy. But remember that there

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Speaking at the ceremony at Andrew J. Parise Park on Memorial Day in Cedarhurst

are different levels of taxes – school tax, county tax, village tax, etc. And depending on the type of tax, you’re being compared to others in that school district, or in the county, or in the village. Some people’s taxes will go up and others will go down. Now, we have a whole new assessment system. And the taxes can go up significantly for some people because of the fraction that was recently

promise and got too far into the weeds…. What could be done on the Legislature level to help the community with this? We in the Legislature have no power over the ratio at all. But we’re here to educate people. We also proposed a package of legislation which is intended to bring a lot more informa-

We need to turn out in force and remind politicians that we’re a voice and a power that they need to listen to and pay attention to. changed – the ratio. At the same time, the valuations are very off, and we know that because there are a record number of people filing grievances – 265,000, far more than ever before. In our Five Towns area, I’m afraid that many, if not most, people are seeing higher taxes because of the administration’s change. My own taxes will go up quite a bit. But I’m afraid that I broke my

tion to everyone, which the administration is resisting in some part. We’ll see what happens with that. Bringing information and putting it out there and making it transparent is the essence of the democratic way of doing things. We also suggested that the county assessor – that’s a position that is now appointed by the county executive – be changed. It once was an elected position, and now, for more

than a decade, it is an appointed position. It was changed to an appointed position, appointed by the county executive. The assessor’s name is David Moog, but he’s completely inaccessible. He lives in Queens, so he doesn’t share our issues. He hasn’t answered the Legislature’s questions and won’t directly deal with the public. Because it used to be an elected position, on the Republican side in the Legislature, we wanted to have a referendum. Let the people decide if they want an elected assessor again. We passed that legislation but the county executive vetoed the legislation because she wanted to keep Moog in this position. I have to say that I’ve worked with Laura Curran, back when she was a legislator. I consider her a friend, but I disagree with a lot of her policies. Do you feel that it’s become partisan in the Legislature? It’s been partisan for a while. What’s the break-up of Republicans versus Democrats? Right now, it’s 11 Republicans to 8 Democrats. And we’re going to have elections in November? Yes, in November. Do you predict any shakeups? Well, the county executive is not up for election this year. So the big race this year is at the Town of Hemp-

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stead. Laura Gillen, a Democrat, is running for supervisor against Don Clavin, who is now the receiver of taxes. Laura Gillen is now the supervisor, but Clavin has been in politics for many years. In the Legislature, Bill Gaylor is running. He represents parts of Woodmere and Valley Stream. He’s a Republican, and they’re gunning for him big-time. But he is a good guy and an effective legislator. I think that he’ll be fine. You know, there’s a problem with our system. There are elections all around the calendar that people don’t know about. We have a community that’s increasingly – I’ll use the word conservative-bent. Even many registered Democrats in the community are voting in a conservative fashion. The problem is we have a very apathetic population in the Orthodox community, when it comes to voting. We love to give tzedakah and we’re involved in yeshivas and shuls and other matters. And we’re very quick to get angry at political leaders when things don’t go the way people want. But people are absolutely absent when it comes to the currency of politics, which is votes, turnout, and contributions because elections can be expensive. People don’t understand that, in politics, if people ignore their politicians at the polls, the politicians will ignore them. I’ll give you an example. There was a Nassau County Planning Commission meeting for the Woodmere Golf Club a few months or so ago. They set up for 1,000 people to come and make themselves heard. And you know what? Only 150 or 200 people showed up. Nobody showed up. What’s the message to officials? That the community doesn’t care. And that’s a shame. Here’s another example of voter apathy in the community. A few years ago, when Phil Goldfeder was assemblyman, we joined together – he’s a Democrat and I am a Republican – and we tried to get the community galvanized about the problems with the 878 highway, the Nassau Expressway. We gathered a few thousand signatures and sent them to Governor Cuomo and he got angry, believe it or not. So we scheduled a press conference to publicize the situation. And you know what? No one showed up. Everyone is too busy. No one bothered to come.

At the dedication of a new Hatzalah ambulance in Lawrence with Lawrence Village Administrator Ron Goldman, Trustee Syma Diamond, Mayor Alex Edelman, Leg. Denise Ford, and Trustee Michael Fragin

Listen, it’s not everyone. There are some individuals who care and who are diligent about getting involved and getting things done – you know who those people are. But far too many people are just apathetic and don’t

just don’t use it. Right now, the demographics in Long Island are changing, and the new demographics heavily favor the Democrats because there are large immigrant communities moving in. Other Orthodox communities, like

I enjoy spending my time in my district and meeting with my constituents. care and are too busy doing other things. I agree with you completely. Just look at what happened in the recent election in Queens for borough president, with Melinda Katz. The results came out to be razor thin. It wouldn’t have been so tight if a few more people in Queens who are registered Democrats would have gone out and taken a few minutes and went to vote. I’d love to figure out how to get the community more involved. We, as a community, have a massive power. We

in Brooklyn, they’re organized. They get involved. They vote. We need to turn out to vote. We need to turn out in force and remind politicians that we’re a voice and we’re a power that they need to listen to and pay attention to. We were talking about the Woodmere Golf Club before. Right. The problem with the Woodmere Golf Club is essentially a zoning issue. The property is split amongst three jurisdictions: one of them is the Town of Hempstead, that’s the largest one. Then there’s the Village of Lawrence and the Vil-

lage of Woodsburgh. The zoning for Lawrence and Woodsburgh is not the issue. They’re zoned for around 1 acre for each property. But in the Town of Hempstead, they haven’t looked at the zoning there for 80, 90 years. They had no reason to look at it; it was a golf club. But then these guys came in and spotted the incongruity in the zoning issue there and are trying to take advantage. These guys are just going to hold on until they outlast the community. We’ve seen this before; they want to just outlast everybody. I know that some people were thinking about zoning it for a park, but that’s not going to happen because that’s going to raise taxes exorbitantly. On paper, in terms of the Legislature, there’s not much that I can be doing. But I want you to know that I have a plan that I’m working on that I can’t talk about now, but if it works, it’s going to be something that’s really going to solve the problem, if I can push it through. It’s very far from a sure thing, but I, and others working with me, will do our best. Tell us about your family. I have four children – two girls and two boys. One of my daughters works with me. One daughter lives in Woodmere and the other, a lawyer, lives in West Hempstead, so they’re both close by. Both of my sons are lawyers, too; one lives in Paramus and the other lives in Philadelphia. His wife is finishing medical school there. I have 12 adorable grandchildren. Five of them, twins and triplets, by the way, attend HAFTR. One granddaughter is in Stern. The rest are in various schools outside our local area. What do you do to relax, aside from enjoying the grandchildren? I like to ride my bike whenever I can. And we have a pool in the backyard, which is great in the summer. It’s a magnet for the grandkids, too, which is wonderful. We also have a house in Florida, and we try to go when we can, although we don’t get to go too often. I enjoy spending my time in my district and meeting with my constituents. I work hard to make sure they’re represented and am always available to help them with any concerns.

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

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Dating Dialogue

What Would You Do If… Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW of The Navidaters

In response to several letters which were received regarding last week’s Dating Dialogue column, we are continuing the important conversation here with a few letters from readers along with a response from two of our panelists.

Readers Write To the Editor, he recent Navidater column upset me from both a personal and professional level, as a single woman and as a registered dietitian. Us women are not animals or pieces of meat who have “fierce competition” to get married. Yes, we need to make ourselves presentable and do what we can to get married, but at the end of the day, when and to whom someone gets married is up to Hashem. And just because someone is fat doesn’t mean they’re unpresentable. I know plenty of people are heavy and gorgeous. And some men like heavier women; it’s their moms who are often concerned about the weight... and yes, I am thin and have plenty of heavier friends who got married before me... Now if you’re going to say “but it’s unhealthy to be fat,” let me just say I know plenty of thin people who are unhealthy and fat people who are perfectly healthy. We need to stop being so focused on weight and think about emotional and spiritual health, eating and sleeping habits and physical activity. Weight is only one aspect of health. There is so much more. Wishing everyone lots of health, happiness and their matches at the right time. Sincerely, Zahava Roth, RD, CDN NY, NY P.S. Telling singles that there’s com-

petition to get married helps no one. I know many people who have been terrified to end relationships because they feel if they don’t marry this person, there is no one else out there. My sister has the best advice: even if this match doesn’t work out, there is someone else out there. Dear Editor, i, I am sure you are getting many, many emails about your shidduch forum article. I was truly horrified. I was never thin. I have a very large frame and will never be thin. My mother tried very hard to convince me to go on a super strict diet to lose weight when I was in shidduchim, and I refused. There was no way I would ever keep it off. I dated only a handful of guys in a few years but at the age of only 21 I met and married my husband who is very handsome and who, by the way, is on the larger size, too. He thinks I’m beautiful and we are very happily married for five years and I’ve had two kids and am even curvier than I was when I got married. My best friend who was also very curvy lost 50 lbs. to date. She got married and 10 months later, she had a baby b”H and she gained it almost all back, and she confessed to me that he has a really hard time with her weight. But it’s her actual weight that she weighed for years! Now she feels fat and ugly to her husband because she looks like herself! Hashem made bodies of all sizes

and telling people that they cannot get married unless they lose weight will do more damage than good. And it’s false! Guess what? Men also come in all sizes too! A Reader To the Editor, he responses by “experts” in your Navidater column were appalling. You want to be the quintessential publication for a Jewish home? You have a responsibility to the public to print material that reflects the views of the Torah, and this missed the mark so, so badly. How could you spread those disgusting views, which are not reflective of reality and certainly not reflective of Torah values? Do you have daughters? Sisters? How would you feel if they were wrongly told in a public forum that they’re unmarriable because of a physical trait? Do you have sons? Brothers? How can you tell them that physicality is more important than middos, personality, interests, intelligence? You should be ashamed of yourself. Be better. Your readership and your religion demands it. I won’t be bringing your publication into my home again. A Reader

Dear Editor, had the unfortunate opportunity to read your magazine in an edition that was out of line with our beliefs as a Jewish people and your standards as a magazine.

A young woman who bravely asked about weight importance when it comes to dating was given a very troubling response, which I assume was intended to be tongue in cheek or humorous (simply because I cannot imagine anyone would speak to another human being in such a harsh and uncompassionate manner). She was basically told to grow up and have some self-control and lose weight because the standard is thin and thin is pretty and she’ll only find someone to love her if she’s pretty and thin. She is living in fantasyland and she is basically losing the game of survival of the “fittest.” Let me point out two things. Firstly, a more accurate answer would be to tell her that she will have an easier time getting dates if she is thinner because people may ask about her weight but the right boy is out there waiting for her and will recognize her no matter what size she is. Let’s give our young men a little more credit than assuming that they all need perfect Barbie dolls. I can guarantee you – fat girls get married, too. Secondly, being thin does not guarantee happiness or a successful marriage. (A beautiful and thin girl could have all the same issues and many more than a less attractive or chubby girl.) Instead of telling girls to all be a perfect size two, why don’t we teach them to work on their emotional wellbeing and education skills? And teach the men that they are looking for a human being to spend their lives with, not a model to gaze at or a tro-

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

phy to show off. I sincerely hope you take better care at inspecting the answers to questions that are asked to the magazine so that you are creating more (true) beauty in the world. All the best, Shira Klatzko

The Panelists Respond Hi Everyone, n lieu of our What Would You Do If panel, I have decided to address the feedback I received, via email, text and various social media platforms, in response to last week’s column. In case you missed it, the young woman writing in shared with us that due to health reasons she had wanted to lose weight. A shadchan had given her honest feedback and told her that the guys she has dated had said that she’s beautiful and a great person but that she needs to lose weight. The woman writing in was not upset about what the shadchan said and appreciated her honesty, but went on to say that she now doesn’t know if she wants to pursue weight loss to be more successful in shidduchim. She was asking for the opinions of the panelists. First and foremost, I want to apologize. I understand that some of the language in the column could have been seen as inflammatory. Some feedback I received is that messages like those expressed in last week’s column are what contribute to the disordered eating in our community. Some people are upset with the way it was said, some people are upset with what was said, and some people are upset by the combination. While I did not express those sentiments, and do not necessarily agree with those sentiments, this is my panel to moderate. In hindsight, I should not have allowed some of the language and turns of phrase to go to print. I can fully empathize with your outrage, hurt feelings, anger, and disgust. I have to give a voice to the other feedback I received as well. Their message was that the responses of the panelists that angered people are the real-life responses that daters receive

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SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 | The Jewish Home

while dating. They expressed the idea that these are simply the opinions of the panelists and that they are entitled to express their ideas. “This is the reality of shidduchim, and dating in the secular world as well. Women lose weight to date, they lose weight to fit into their wedding dresses, and they try to lose weight after the holidays,” one reader wrote. “Are the readers angry at the panelists, or at the reality of life?” (I am not giving an opinion. I already gave my opinion last week. I am giving a voice to the many voices I’ve heard and read this past week, and to the two opposing views in our community.) Never in the history of What Would You Do If has a column elicited such response. The purpose of our column, as we state every week in the fine print, is to generate a dialogue amongst the community. I regret the pain it caused many people. At the same time, the silver lining is that here we are…having quite the dialogue about a very important issue that existed before our column went to print. There is so much I want to convey, but this topic is so nuanced and delicate. And people are very triggered about this topic, and rightfully so. Some of us have been body shamed. Some of us have been through this very process. We are raising daughters whom we want to feel comfortable and beautiful in their own skin and to be comfortable with the size their body was meant to be. And yet, others have no problem whatsoever with the current reality and accept it as a normal part of life. There is no way that I can address every angle that people would like addressed: unrealistic standards of beauty, body shaming, the reality of life (as some might say), speaking about this matter with sensitivity vs. “saying it like it is,” women loving and accepting their bodies as they are vs. “putting your best foot forward” while dating, health and wellness, etc. Many of you do not know this, but I co-facilitate a girls’ empowerment group called Girl Talk. It has been successful amongst girls in grades 3 through 7. Interestingly, when we first created the group, one of the weekly topics was going to be Body Image. But we had a number of parents tell us they felt uncomfortable with their daughters learning about body im-

age at that age, so we pulled it from the program. I’m not sure what this speaks to exactly, but it is speaking volumes. Speaking to girls when they are young about the way they feel about their bodies is like early intervention. I, for one, do not portend to have the answer. I am glad that we are having this much-needed conversation. We must bring awareness to the very large number of Orthodox women who aren’t eating healthfully in the effort to increase their odds of getting married. And we have to be mindful that when we speak or write publicly, there are impressionable people listening or reading. Being the mediator that I am, I can also see the other side of the coin, which is that people are entitled to free speech and some might say that society has become too sensitive. I also would like to state that every panelist takes her role very seriously, giving her time and pouring her heart and soul to produce thoughtful content week after week. I know that no one meant to cause any harm. The beauty is that we are talking about this. We are acknowledging our feelings as a community. Just like with my response last week, I tried to very carefully word this response, and again, I hope that I have not offended anyone. It personally pains me to know that people are hurting from what was said on this panel. This has been weighing heavily on my heart. Once again, I want to extend my apologies for anything that hurt or offended you that you read in a panel that I take responsibility for. I am sorry. Sincerely, Jennifer (not Jennifer Mann, LCSW, columnist or whatever I am professionally. Just Jennifer. The person)

sensitive, required more discussion of the general context of feminine beauty and body image. As you may have noticed from my opening in my response last week, I did not see the query as controversial despite the writer saying that it might be considered as such. I saw this as a practical question from someone who wants to see less one-and-done dates. And I responded that she had a lot to offer but if she wants to be practical, go ahead with the advice. I am not sure that this person has a body image issue. To the contrary, she seemed pretty self-aware and open. Nonetheless, I should have stressed the general problematic issue of superficiality, stressing of body image, and general image related issues of shidduchim this time. In this area, context should have been addressed because we do have broad and deep problems connected with unhealthy eating and negative body image in our frum culture. While the individual query of last week was a particular one, I neglected to mention that broader issues of mental health are connected with our culture of focus on thinness and unrealistic appearances. Young women often develop unhealthy eating habits and illnesses because of the pressure to be thin for shidduchim. It is important to address this in the family, in school, and in the community. Girls should not be pushed to conform to unhealthy, unfair expectations promoted by the media but should be valued for who they are. Rebbetzin Faigie Horowitz, M.S.

Disclaimer: This column is not intended to diagnose or otherwise

To our Readers, eaders of the Five Town Jewish Home’s Dating Dialogue know that the individual queries are meant to be responded to on an individual basis by the panelists. There are broader issues, too, that some panelists and the therapist respond to. My approach is specific; I do not wax forth on general issues. I think that there is context to be dealt with, and I do not offer guidance on general matters. Perhaps this topic, because it is so

conclude

resolutions

questions.

Our intention is not to

any

offer any definitive conclusions to any particular question, rather offer areas of exploration for the author and reader. Due to the nature of the column receiving only a short snapshot of an issue, without the benefit of an actual discussion, the panel’s role is to offer a range of possibilities. We hope to open up meaningful dialogue and individual exploration.

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The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

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combating the

MEASLES FLU and resisting the

By Susan Schwamm

TJH Speaks with Dr. Jane R. Zucker, assistant commissioner for the Bureau of the Immunization at the New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene, about the importance of vaccinations in our community

Sunday, I was able meet with Dr. Zucker at Dr. Hylton Lightman’s Back to School Extravaganza, in which Dr. Lightman and the staff at Total Family Care administered flu vaccines to children in the community and distributed ice cream and other treats to those who attended. Dr. Zucker took a few minutes of her time to chat with me about this year’s flu vaccine and how our community was able to help stem the measles outbreak this year.

Dr. Zucker, thank you for meeting with me. We’re surrounded by children getting their flu vaccine. Tell us about the flu vaccine this year. It’s really important that people get the flu vaccine this year. It’s recommended for everybody six months of age and older. This year’s influenza vaccine has two new strains in it – they change it every year to make sure it matches what we think are going to be the most common circulated strains, and this year’s vaccine had two added strains. We often hear, Oh, I got my flu shot last year. Why do I need it again this year? Well, that’s why you need another one. Every year another strain of flu is prevalent. And flu is deadly. People don’t appreciate how sick people get from the flu – how many deaths are associated with influenza, the number of hospitalizations, how many children get sick and have to go the emergency room, or need antibiotics, or get ear infections afterwards. It’s super important to get the vaccine to minimize the complications and severity and prevent the flu.

When’s the best time to get the vaccine? September is the perfect time to get it. We start recommending to get it as soon as it’s available, and this year it was available in mid-August. Keep in mind that a physician needs time to see everyone and get them vaccinated, so schedule your appointments so you get them in time. What side effects can be expected from the flu vaccine? The very common side effects that could occur take place the day the vaccine is given or the next day. The shot is in the muscle – in the thigh or in the arm – so there may be redness, soreness, or tenderness in the area of the vaccination. Children may be fussy or get a little fever. That’s all normal; nothing a little Tylenol can’t take care of. The vaccine itself is very safe. Are there any people who should not be getting the vaccine? There are two types of vaccines offered for the flu. The first one is a shot and is “inactivated” – it’s not a

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015 The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

live virus, so you can’t get the flu from the vaccine. Anyone can get that vaccine. The other flu vaccine offered is a nasal spray, and it’s a live attenuated vaccine. It’s cold adapted so it can only replicate in the nose – not in the lungs, etc. The nasal vaccine is best for those who are afraid of getting shots – like children. They may feel better if they get the vaccine in a spray form. That vaccine is not for everyone, especially those who are immunocompromised. In terms of those who cannot get the vaccine, well, those who had a severe reaction to the vaccine previously shouldn’t get it or those who have a severe allergy to a component in the vaccine shouldn’t get it. The vaccine is perfectly safe for those who suffer from an egg allergy. That was updated a few years ago. It’s really important for those with underlying medical conditions and people over 65 to get vaccinated. Those who are immunocompromised should be getting the flu vaccine (in shot form), even if they won’t respond as well as others, because those people are the ones who are at greatest risk of being hospitalized if they catch the flu. Kids who have higher hospitalization rates – under 2 years old – should also get the vaccine. They’re very vulnerable, and we want to prevent them from contracting the flu. It’s also very important for pregnant mothers to get the flu vaccine. It’ll protect the baby. Keep in mind that women who are pregnant are much more at risk of being hospitalized if they get the flu. The antibodies in the vaccine will be passed from mother to baby and will protect that baby for six months after the baby is born. And there’s good evidence that these babies have a lower incidence of not getting sick or hospitalized. It’s completely safe for nursing mothers to get the flu vaccine, too. There’s also a daycare flu requirement in place in New York City. That means that children need to have a flu vaccine by December 31 if they attend a licensed child care. Younger children are more severely affected if they get influenza, and we are trying to protect the most vulnerable. The measles outbreak has just been declared over in New York City. Tell us about that. On September 3, the Health De-

partment declared the measles outbreak over in New York City. We’re very excited about that. The last case of a new case of measles in New York City was on July 15. There were some new cases in August upstate – but that wasn’t New York City. Even so, we remain vigilant. We have to be. Hopefully, no one has been incubating. But there’s always travel, and the holidays are coming up and people travel a lot. I should remind you that children need their measles vaccine, especially before they travel. We recommend that anyone more than one year or older receive the MMR vaccine but you should give the measles vaccine to children six months and up if they are going on an international trip. If you’re bringing your child overseas with you on a trip to visit your family members, make

For women, generally, when they’re pregnant, they check routinely for rubella because rubella can be extremely harmful to a fetus. Your obstetrician can also check for measles immunity. When there was an outbreak, we recommended that women should be checked while pregnant to see if they are immune. Also, if someone went to university or college, they need two doses of MMR vaccine to complete university or college in New York State, and compliance is very high here. People can check with their school and confirm that they received their two doses of the vaccine. You said that anyone over one year of age should get the MMR vaccine. Yes. The first dose of the vaccine is

Over 54,000 cases of the meases have been reported from the Ukraine. sure to have him or her immunized. The United Kingdom just lost their measles elimination status, which means that measles is being transmitted in the UK. They’ve been having outbreaks over there, large outbreaks. Israel has outbreaks as well, although not at the level of the UK. And there’s a large outbreak Ukraine. Over 54,000 cases of the measles have been reported from the Ukraine. We need to get the word out to people traveling to the Ukraine that they need to make sure that their immunizations are in order. How do adults know that they have received the MMR vaccine? Well, if they’re traveling, and they’re not sure if they received the MMR vaccine when they were younger, the easiest thing to do is to get another vaccine. There’s no harm in getting it again, and then you’ll know you’re immune. You can also have your titer levels checked.

given at one year of age, and the second dose is given between the ages of 4 and 6. Children need to have two doses of the MMR vaccine to attend school grades K through 12. If a child is in childcare or a pre-K program, they need to show that they were given one dose of the vaccine. But if you’re traveling, it’s best to get the second dose early for that child. In fact, you can get the second dose of the vaccine as early as four weeks after having received the first dose. It’s safe, and it’s effective. What side effects can be expected from the MMR vaccine? The MMR vaccine is another very well tolerated vaccine. It doesn’t go into the muscle deeply. There may be soreness or redness at the injection site, and infants may get a fever but they won’t get terribly sick from it. A very low percentage of people – around five percent – can break out in a rash all over the body as a result of the vaccine, but their demeanor in

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general will be fine – they’ll be jumping around – as opposed to someone who has the measles – they have a rash but are extremely sick as well. There are no more religious exemptions in New York, correct? Right. There are medical exemptions, though. A doctor would need to fill out a form and explain why their patient is immunocompromised and why they can’t get the vaccine. The exemption needs to be renewed every year. What do you think the community did that helped to stem the measles outbreak in the community? The pediatric medical community was fantastic. They gave out a tremendous amount of vaccinations in the community and we came to a point in which enough people were vaccinated so the disease couldn’t be transmitted anymore. Nurses, doctors, and community members mobilized and worked on educating the community, which was wonderful. There were rabbis who came out about the importance of vaccinating. You know, it’s a health issue. And we need to protect others. If someone cannot get vaccinated and is exposed to someone who has the measles, that could be devastating for that immunocompromised individual. It’s about responsibility. It’s about being responsible to protect those who cannot get vaccinated. What’s the best argument you can share for those who resist vaccinations? There are decades of research that have shown how safe the MMR vaccine is. And there’s all this literature about how severe measles is and how many deaths there are that are attributed to the measles. There has been a record number of deaths by measles around the world recently. That’s terrible. And it could have been prevented. We also know through lots of research and evidence that vaccines do not cause autism. That myth has been debunked numerous times. There is so much evidence that can give people confidence that these vaccines are safe.

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Dr. Deb

The Key to Getting Beautiful Results By Deb Hirschhorn, Ph.D.

r. J. (all characters and stories are made up – truth is I’ve heard this pattern a thousand times in one variation or another) was starting to breathe more and more rapidly. Had he been doing a sweat-producing workout, his panting would make sense. But he wasn’t doing any of that. He was sitting in the therapist’s office, supposedly to work on breaking the marriage he and Mrs. J were having. “I am sick and tired of all this blame!” Mr. J. shouted, his eyes flashing. “Sick! It’s enough already!” “But,” Mrs. J. started to say through her tears, “that’s just not fair. How can I ever express my feelings! Mr. J. is bottling me up. He’s taking away my voice! I’ve been his yes-man in this marriage for 36 years. And it’s enough!” “I am allowed to say my feelings were hurt when you got on the phone with your mother just when we were talking. Couldn’t you have told her you’d call her back? I feel like a second, a retread, a has-been, a less-than.”

With that, Mrs. J. indignantly got up and stormed out of the office, crying. Ms. S., the therapist, had not had a chance to get a word in edgewise before the session disrupted itself. She locked eyes with Mr. J. and asked him to take a few breaths. But the reality was, he was not a happy camper, as my old Florida neighbor used to say about the children when they didn’t get their way. His breathing slowed down a bit, and then he marched out, too. So much for marriage counseling. Has this happened to you? I witnessed it a lot when I was doing traditional marriage counseling. This is one area that marriage counseling has going against its good intentions. Why? What just happened? Let’s take a peek into Mr. J.’s past to start to uncover what happened. We will look at Mr. J. at age 10. He is the oldest of three kids. His father had been arguing with his mother since the day he was born. Mr. J.’s mother would turn to small Mr. J. and say to him, weeping, “You’re all

I have!” Well, that’s a pretty big burden to put on a child. Eventually, his father left the family and, as a boy growing up, it automatically fell on him to be the father of the family. That’s not good. He now has a new label, compliments of the therapy world, “parentified child.” The only problem is that he was only 10. No ten-year-old could possibly assume adult responsibilities and carry them out well – especially in the emotional domain. So, of course, his mom was never satisfied. “Why didn’t you remember that I needed my credit card to go shopping?” she once said. Really? Well, distracted and upset parents will do that. They will shift blame to their child for not keeping them in line. Parentified, indeed. The time his mom locked the car and left her purse on the seat with the keys in it was really bad. But there were worse times. The time that the youngest was hit by a car and Mr. J “should” have been watching. To this day, the adult Mr. J. gets blamed and reminded of that

horrible moment. Was his mother a good, kind, loving mother? Well, ask Mr. J. He will tell you he totally understands that his mother had too much on her shoulders and he doesn’t hold any of it against her. She did the best she could. There were the trips to the movies, after all. And there was always a cake on each child’s birthday. He cannot see and will not agree that his mom’s behavior was abusive – although it was. Good stuff doesn’t balance out abuse. So what is Mr. J.’s Achilles heel? Feeling blamed. Feeling falsely blamed. Even if there was no blame meant. But why would he feel blamed when all his wife wanted to do is express her feelings? She was hurt, right? Isn’t she allowed? The problem, of course, is that he, too, has feelings and just the smallest implication that he did something wrong brings up old, painful feelings of being wrong again. Even when he wasn’t wrong. And if you notice the details of this story, who was it that took his attention away from Mrs. J.? It was

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his mother. He is still afraid not to take her calls. He’s still afraid of doing something wrong in her eyes. After all, not taking your mother’s call sounds kind of rude. At least to him. The thought does not occur to him that if he doesn’t take her call, there is no way his mother will know the reason for it. He could have been using the lavatory. Instead, he automatically goes into worry mode. And what is with Mrs. J.? Why is she so upset? She comes from a large Italian family where everyone had to talk; everyone had an opinion. And, being a middle child, her voice was not heard. She felt sometimes like she didn’t know who she was as a kid growing up because you don’t really find out who you are unless you say something to the world and wait to see how the world responds. And Ms. S., the therapist? What about her? She did nothing wrong. But the

therapy process is rigged against her. How are two people who are suffering – whose emotional bank accounts are running on empty – supposed to support and fill each other up when they themselves are lacking?

Once your cup of self-love is full, you can love and cherish and care for others.

It won’t work. In order to love others, you must love yourself. Im ayn ani li, mi li? Hillel asked. Once your cup of selflove is full, you can love and cherish and care for others. But not before.

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Yet, sadly, people who go to individual therapy have a higher divorce rate. While trying to get their own needs met and realizing just how empty their cups have been in their marriage, they start to be disgusted with the person they’re with for not

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meeting those needs. It doesn’t occur to them – or their therapist – that the partner is going through pretty much the same thing. So, what’s the solution?

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There is a solution. I am so very excited about it, too. It takes all the skills that any good therapist would have and hands those as tools to learn to couples in need of marriage repair. As they work on these skills, they understand clearly that their spouse is working too. And they also know there is an end date. It will not go on forever, and it will progress from self-love tools to falling in love with the person who you’re currently sick and tired of. How can such a thing possibly happen? Easy. It’s because of something therapists also never require: commitment. Both people need to commit to the program and to their marriage. Out loud. To me. Then we get beautiful results. Dr. Deb Hirschhorn is a Marriage and Family Therapist. If you want help with your marriage, begin by signing up to watch her Masterclass at https://drdeb. com/myw-masterclass.

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leaving

KOLLEL

a three-part series

PART III: EIZER AND K’NEGDO By: Yeshaya Kraus, LCSW

our plate is pretty full right now. You’re juggling a new lifestyle, new short-term life goals, a new daily schedule, and a different relationship with yourself and your sense of ruchniyus. As you may have noticed, that’s a tall order. As if that weren’t enough, here’s another thought which probably won’t make you feel much better. It’s important to address, though. In fact, it’s just as important, if not more important, to address than any of those other points. You’re not the only one who’s leaving kollel. Your wife is also leaving. It’s an unfortunate reality that so much focus is placed on providing logistical support to the young man who’s moving on, while little or no emotional support is discussed for him or for his wife. The yungerman needs it. His wife does as well. Let’s take a look at the experience of the average kollel wife. Similarly to the yungerman, she’s been educated to respect and love Torah, to prize its pursuit as a life goal. She dedicated her

life to not just being a wife and mother, but being a breadwinner so that her husband could chase that prize, the one that’s so attainable. It’s not beyond the oceans or in the skies. It’s right here. It’s easy. She subscribes to that belief and diligently does her part. All of a sudden, it’s over. Something has changed. For some reason, her husband can’t learn the same way he used to. He just can’t pull it off. Or she just can’t work the way she used to. Either way, it’s very common for one of two things to happen. She might blame herself. “If I had been better at (something), this wouldn’t be happening.” Maybe she feels she should have davened better. She may feel she should have been more attentive to his needs. The other possibility is that she blames him. “What’s so hard? He loves learning! I remember him talking about it with such passion, with such fire on our dates! I would see him sitting with a Gemara for hours during bein hazmanim! Why can’t he just keep going?” He’s identified as the killer of dreams. It’s his fault.

There may also be a combination of the two sides, a cacophonous conglomeration of self-blame and anger. This is obviously not good for the relationship, even when it’s just coming from one spouse. It’s not unlikely that he’s also experiencing some degree of similar feelings. Perhaps he blames himself, or her. Either way, these kinds of feelings are obviously not going to help anyone. The best way to make this turbulent transition go as smoothly as possible is to start working on it early. In terms of your relationship, this means having a policy of openness and honesty with each other. Specifically, keep in mind how you’re feeling about maintaining your current lifestyle. This should not need to be said. Marriage as a successful institution has always depended on real communication, especially around the hard issues. It’s worth the reminder, though, especially when it comes to something as all-encompassing as success in kollel. This policy should be active from the beginning of your marriage. It may be uncomfortable for a new-

ly married couple to discuss difficulties that come up in this area, especially early on. A husband primarily wants the respect and admiration of his wife. If he perceives discussion of his difficulties as something which will detract from that, he may hold back. Many wives feel that they need to be perfect, or that acknowledging difficulty implies a lack of dedication. On both sides, there can be a fear of acknowledging your humanity. Having a regular meeting of both husband and wife together with a mentor can help with that. If meeting as a couple with your rosh kollel is something you do every couple of months, it becomes far less threatening to openly discuss difficulties with each other. It can also help you both be mindful of the idea of being in kollel as an important part of your avodas Hashem, as opposed to the endgame of it. Both spouses should also be in touch individually with their own mentors. There may be things you don’t want to talk about together. That may be fine. Working through your feelings and concerns with a mentor

can help you gain clarity in your situation and better understand how to proceed as part of a couple. Having individual mentors can help both of you understand when you need to bring up uncomfortable topics, and how to do it when it’s needed. Working with mentors throughout your time in kollel can help pre-empt much of the challenges that pop up in relationships when leaving kollel. This is all very well and good for someone who’s getting married and starting out now. Forewarned is forearmed. What do you do, though, if you’re already five years in, have a mortgage and three kids, and are just now forced to consider the possibility of leaving to make a parnassah? You may not have implemented these open lines of communication. How can you start now? In a generally supportive marriage, it’s never too late to start working with a mentor. As long as the person is someone whom you both trust and respect, the mentor should be able to

help you move along the path to the working world. You both care about each other; you want the best for each other. You both want the best for your family. It may take a little help to push past your disappointments, but you’ll get there. The important part is to keep in mind that this is a mutual

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disconnection if not addressed properly. If there’s already a pattern of disconnection present in the marriage, the experience of leaving kollel will exacerbate it. This general disconnection isn’t related directly with leaving kollel, or even any other particular disagreement you’ve had in the past.

USE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO STAND STRONG AS A COUPLE. struggle. It’s not one that either one of you has brought on the other. You’re in it together, and the only way to get through it is by working together to support each other through it. You’ll come out stronger at the end. It’s important to be aware, though, that this is a high stress time even in the best of circumstances. Stress breeds conflict. Conflict can breed

Disconnection is about your assumptions about each other and how you react to those assumptions. Those assumptions and reactions will come up regardless of what the issue is, whether it’s leaving kollel or where to go for the yomim tovim. The intensity will vary, but the pattern itself is the same. This is the time to notice these patterns and work towards developing a

stronger and healthier connection with each other. You may be able to do it yourself or with a mentor. If you’re having trouble with it, your best bet is to find a qualified couples therapist. A professional can help you to gain awareness of your patterns. You can then begin repairing them. A politician once infamously said, “Never let a good crisis go to waste.” Leaving kollel certainly doesn’t have to be a crisis. Hopefully, it won’t be. It can be an opportunity, though. Use this opportunity to stand strong as a couple and work towards the next chapter in your lives together.

Yeshaya Kraus, LCSW, is a psychotherapist in Far Rockaway who works with individuals, couples, and parents. He is particularly passionate about working with yungerleit and their wives, helping them navigate the kollel exit experience and orienting to their new reality, on both practical and emotional levels. He can be reached at yykraus@ gmail.com or at 917-412-5824.

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Health & F tness

Intuitive Eating By Dena Gershkovich

s a dietetics student, I’m very familiar with the effect that food has on the body. My six semesters of chemistry have taught me the intricate molecular pathways that occur when one consumes too many foods high in carbohydrates and/or saturated fat – and they’re not pretty. Yet, when I eat ice cream, I don’t feel guilty. At the Shabbat table, it’s rare for me to refuse dessert. And my friends know that I have a permanent craving for chocolate – which I always “give in” to, even if I haven’t exercised that day. This is because I follow a way of eating called Intuitive Eating, which was created by registered dietitians Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch in 1995. IE, despite being health-promoting, is not a diet. In fact, the IE approach is actually against dieting. IE is guided by 10 principles, all of which encourage followers to take charge of their bodies: “Reject the Diet Mentality,” “Honor Your Hunger,” “Make Peace with Food,” “Challenge the Food Police,” “Respect your Fullness,” “Discover the Satisfaction Factor,” “Honor your Feelings Without Using Food,” “Respect your Body,” “Exercise – Feel

the Difference,” and “Honor your Health.” By paying close attention to hunger and fullness cues, honoring cravings and eating mindfully, IE argues, you will come to eat exactly what your body desires. Sometimes that will be French fries and ice cream; others it will be kale Caesar salad. The former is beneficial to your emotional health, the latter to your physical – and both are equally important! Here’s why: If you restrict calories or deprive yourself of foods that you’re craving, it will only backfire, as you’ll feel out of control when those foods become available to you, which they naturally will. Likewise, diet culture perpetuates an emotionally and physically harmful cycle of restrict –> binge –> guilt –> restrict. This cycle can lead to emotional distress and weight gain, among other conditions. For example: Let’s say brownies are your favorite food, but you constantly deny yourself the pleasure of enjoying them in an effort to “be good.” You go to friends for Shabbat lunch, where, inevitably, there are brownies for dessert. You allow yourself a sliver, which turns into another sliver, and before you know

it, you’ve eaten a lot more brownies than you’ve planned for – definitely more than your points allowed for, anyway. In addition to feeling guilty for cheating on your diet, you’re probably feeling physically uncomfortable and sluggish. You likely would have satisfied your brownie craving after having one or two if you would have given yourself permission to eat them when you craved them! This is one reason why IE discourages the restriction inherent in dieting. IE terms situations like the one above the “last supper” effect. You eat more brownies than you’re comfortable with because you assume that it will be the last time you’ll eat them. “Diet starts tomorrow,” so why not indulge today, right? However, “diet can’t start tomorrow” if there is no diet, and, according to IE, there shouldn’t be one. You can’t be “off track” if there isn’t a track. You can’t “be good” if there aren’t rules to follow. The IE approach encourages eating according to your unique bodily needs and preferences. “We’re taught very much to distrust our bodies and that it needs to be corrected,” said Adee Levinstein, a dietitian who specializes in eating disorders in Austin, Texas, explain-

ing how this shouldn’t be the case. The best way to figure out your body’s needs is by eating mindfully. Pay attention to tastes, textures, and flavors of foods (read: look at your food instead of at your cellphone!). Notice how food makes you feel before, during, and after eating. While you may enjoy eating an entire tray of chocolate chip cookies in the moment, you’ll likely feel bloated and sluggish a few minutes later. However, a balanced meal of salmon, brown rice, and broccoli will likely leave you feeling comfortably satisfied and energized. Many who follow IE realize that it is possible to incorporate sweets in a balanced diet, and it takes individual trial and error to determine how that manifests. Likewise, the IE movement discourages assigning morality to foods and instead encourages food neutrality. There are no “good” foods or “bad” foods – food is just food! – though there are foods that are more nutrient-dense than others. Foods packed with nutrients (i.e. the salmon meal) will help your body function at its optimum, while those that aren’t as nutritious (i.e. too many cookies) won’t, though they might bring joy in other ways. “Normal eating isn’t perfect eat-

ing, and that’s also sometimes hard to accept,” Levinstein said. The idea that all foods fit in a balanced diet isn’t a new one, though what’s different about IE compared to other methods of eating is that the focus is on wellness rather than on weight loss. With IE, you exercise because it feels good to be active, not because you have to burn off that birthday cake. You meal-prep because having a balanced lunch will help you focus at work, not because your macros have to fit within certain caloric limitations. You take care of yourself because you’re human and deserve your own respect and care, not because you have to fit into a dress for a wedding. Many who are new to IE worry that giving themselves unconditional permission to eat will result in weight gain. Though weight loss is not the focus or goal of IE, it often occurs when necessary as a byprod-

uct of eating mindfully and paying close attention to health. “I haven’t weighed myself in a really long time,” said Debbie from the Five Towns. However, she trusts that her body will “find its comfort zone” once she gets better at IE. Debbie started practicing IE a few months ago, after ordering a

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“Clearly this is not working if I keep doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results – clearly another diet is not the answer,” Debbie said. “This Intuitive Eating was a totally new way of thinking about things.” Debbie feels that she has a lot to learn regarding IE, though so far it

The best way to figure out your body’s needs is by eating mindfully.

package from a dieting company and being unable to open it due to being “so disgusted and horrified with the whole diet culture.” Debbie said that she’s been dieting since 8 years old yet is still in a large body, adding that she is “such a binger.”

Serving our community for over 30 years

is going well for her. “Right now, I’m just not hating myself for eating the foods that I want to eat,” Debbie said. “I’m asking myself what I want to eat before I eat it and I’m trying really hard not to eat food I don’t want.”

As I sit in Starbucks sipping a caramel latte, I’m happy that the calories in this drink are not controlling me. I’m glad that I can quiet the chatter of the “food police” and use the free brain space to write and focus on far more significant plans and topics. I’m also glad that my caramel craving had been satisfied. For dinner, I’ll be having quinoa chili with freekeh. And I’ll enjoy it just as much as this caramel latte.

Dena Gershkovich is double majoring in dietetics and journalism at the University of Maryland. She hopes to become a registered dietitian and nutrition writer. Follow Dena on Instagram (@theartsypalate) and on her blog, The Artsy Palate, for more nutrition tips and recipes. To learn more about Intuitive Eating, read “Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Program that Works!” by Elyse Resch and Evelyn Tribole, check out intuitiveeating.org, and/or seek out a non-diet dietitian in your area.

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Health & F tness

Back to Work Lunches By Cindy Weinberger MS, RD, CDN

here seems to be a gloomy mood in the air around Labor Day Weekend. The weather might still be warm outside, but the camps are closed, the knapsacks are packed, and parents are eager to send their kids back to school as the summer slowly closes behind us. For some parents, back to school is a good feeling enabling one to resume some sort of structure. Other parents, who are off during the summer, dread going back to work. Who can blame them?! Back to work means long hours out of the house and includes the commute and lunch and dinner prep. No more beaches and relaxation. To help ease your transition, help me guide you in making nutritious lunch choices. For those eating lunch on the go, lunch can be complicated. Great meals on the go include a whole grain sandwich with tuna fish, eggs, and vegetables in the sandwich or on the side. You can also take hard boiled eggs along with you with whole grain crackers and veggie sticks. A yogurt with fresh fruit might work for you too. The ideal meal should include a protein, a starch, and vegetables. For those of who claim to have no time to prepare vegetables for lunch or simply would rather skip the vegetables, it’s

time to change your mindset. Vegetables are the number one choice to include in every meal. Vegetables help to fill you up for very few calories. Load up on non-starchy vegetables such as leafy greens (lettuce, spinach, kale), tomatoes, broccoli, peppers, cucumbers, cauliflower, and carrots. These vegetables are hydrating because they have a very high water content, and they supply fiber, along

tein will not fill you up or give you the proper nutrition you need. Aim for at least 15 to 20 grams of protein, if possible. For example, 3- to 4-ounces of a cooked chicken cutlet or a piece of salmon on the side of your vegetables make an amazing, nutritionally balanced lunch. Another food group that helps fill you up is healthy fat. Don’t be scared off by the term fat. Yes, some fats are

Why is it important to have protein in your lunch?

with plenty of vitamins and minerals. Why is it important to have protein in your lunch? Protein helps with everything from brain function to satiety. We all need that brain power to get us through the workday. But, more importantly, we need the energy. Protein gives us the energy we need and the satiety to last us until the next snack or meal. A meal without pro-

actually good for us. Monounsaturated fat helps lower LDL (bad cholesterol). This type of fat is found in plant foods such as nuts, avocado, and olive oil. Don’t overdo it with the fat, of course. A few slices of avocado on whole grain toast will make a great lunch choice as well. Why do I keep stressing whole grain toast? Whole grains are import-

ant for our bodies, too. Whole grains are packed with dietary fiber. If you feel better when you stay away from bread, you can find whole grains in other foods as well. Brown rice and quinoa are excellent choices of whole grains and go well with a protein such as salmon or chicken. You can bring your leftover dinner to work as lunch for the next day if that is easier for you to do. Or, if you prefer to have a salad with your protein, you can toss quinoa into your salad as the protein. If you don’t pack your own lunch, and you prefer to buy lunch, choose a lunch that includes these above ideas. Don’t be scared to be creative. Just remember: a proper lunch should include a lean protein, a whole grain starch, and vegetables. And don’t forget to drink water, too!

Cindy Weinberger MS, RD, CDN, is a Master’s level Registered Dietitian and Certified Dietitian-Nutritionist. She graduated CUNY Brooklyn College receiving a Bachelor’s in Science and Master’s degree in Nutrition and Food Sciences. She is currently a dietitian at Boro Park Center and a private nutrition consultant located in Brooklyn and the Five Towns. She can be reached at CindyWeinberger1@gmail.com.

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In The K

109

tchen

Jewel-Tone Farro Pareve • Yields 8 servings By Naomi Nachman

This farro dish got its name from the ruby like pomegranate seeds and the emerald parsley. It’s a perfect Rosh Hashana side dish.

Ingredients 2 tablespoons canola oil 4 leeks, white and light green parts only, sliced 2 teaspoons salt, divided 2 cups cooked farro, prepared according to package directions 1 teaspoon turmeric ½ cup fresh parsley, chopped ½ cup pomegranate seeds

Preparation In a medium fry pan over medium high heat, heat oil. Add leeks; sauté for two minutes, then add 1 teaspoon salt. Sauté for a few minutes, till leeks are soft. Add cooked farro, turmeric, and remaining salt; sauté for a few minutes. Remove from heat, add fresh parsley and pomegranate seeds; stir to combine. Serve warm. Reprinted with permission from Perfect Flavors by Naomi Nachman, Artscroll. Photo by Miriam Pascal.

Naomi Nachman, the owner of The Aussie Gourmet, caters weekly and Shabbat/ Yom Tov meals for families and individuals within The Five Towns and neighboring communities, with a specialty in Pesach catering. Naomi is a contributing editor to this paper and also produces and hosts her own weekly radio show on the Nachum Segal Network stream called “A Table for Two with Naomi Nachman.” Naomi gives cooking presentations for organizations and private groups throughout the New York/New Jersey Metropolitan area. In addition, Naomi has been a guest host on the QVC TV network and has been featured in cookbooks, magazines as well as other media covering topics related to cuisine preparation and personal chefs. To obtain additional recipes, join The Aussie Gourmet on Facebook or visit Naomi’s blog. Naomi can be reached through her website, www.theaussiegourmet.com or at (516) 295-9669.

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Notable Quotes “Say What?!”

Rep. Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY): Your job is to be Donald Trump’s political enforcer, correct? Corey Lewandowski: No, I don’t believe so. Rep. Jeffries: Let me ask you the question another way. Are you the hitman, bagman, lookout, or all of the above? Lewandowski: I think I’m the good-looking man, actually. -Exchange during Trump’s former campaign manager Corey Lewandowski’s appearance in front of the House Judiciary Committee on Tuesday

“The new iPhone is creeping me ... out with the 3 little cameras,” one Twitter user wrote. - From a Washington Post article titled, “Does the new iPhone creep you out? Scientists grapple with why tiny holes scare some people”

The backlash comes from people who say they suffer from an obscure and perplexing condition, called “trypophobia” — a fear of clusters of small holes like those found in shoe treads, honeycombs and lotus seed pods. University of Essex Professor Geoff Cole, a self-diagnosed trypophobe and researcher in Britain who studies the condition, calls it “the most common phobia you have never heard of.”

Could you repeat the question? I didn’t hear it; just a rant. - Corey Lewandowski to Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-TX), after she spent her time during his appearance in front of the House Judiciary Committee screaming about how he and Trump are horrible criminals

- CP Crawford, a 112-year-old who attended his first-ever Chicago Cubs game this week after being a lifelong fan

There was no desire to withhold important information from our readers. We have processes in place. We wrote this, it was edited, there was back and forth as there always is. It’s kind of a team effort, frankly, to make sure that everybody’s comfortable with the final product and there was just an oversight here.

I was just showing off.

- New York Times’ journalist Kate Kelly on “The View” excusing a discredited “bombshell” article about Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh which failed to disclose that the alleged victim never recalled the alleged incident

- Ibid.

I’ve been around, and I have met some wonderful people. I’m happy to be here.

- A Lamborghini driver’s excuse when he was pulled over in Ohio for driving 131 MPH (he got the speeding ticket)

MORE QUOTES

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If people speak against Arabs, the president is the first one to come out against it. But when they incite against all of Judaism and traditional people in the state of Israel, no one protests against this. All this is done to topple Netanyahu. Everything is permissible to take over the government. - Shas chairman and Interior Minister Aryeh Deri, criticizing Israel’s President Reuven Rivlin for not protesting the incitement against charedim during the election campaign

My friend Rabbi Aryeh – anyone who knows me, like you – knows very well how much I’m pained by the incitement against communities in Israel, among them the haredi community and the harsh discourse we’ve been dragged into during these elections… During these days of the month of Elul [days of repentance before Rosh Hashana] and the election period, I chose to act in the words of the prophet Amos: “He who is wise will remain silent at that time.” - Part of President Rivlin’s response to Deri

Mackay recalled one morning when the future president committed two social faux pas in quick succession. “He was here one morning. I was busy making pancakes and he had forgotten my husband had died,” she said. “He put a few pancakes in [his] pocket and never said ‘cheerio’ or anything.” The White House did not immediately respond to Newsweek’s request for comment regarding the allegation of theft.

I would let my son play football, but first off, I would educate him on the game, educate him on what I went through. I truly believe any injury that you receive is fixable. I went through it. I had nine surgeries. Probably had like 20 concussions in my life, like no lie. I remember five, like blackout ones. - Retired New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski, in a recent sit-down with CBS News

This is our country too. -Univision anchor Jorge Ramos opening the Democratic presidential debate last Thursday, delivering the line in Spanish and then in English

- From a Newsweek story about a “distant cousin” of Pres. Trump in Scotland who told Newsweek that Trump is a rude person who once stole pancakes from her (Newsweek did not indicate that the story was a satire or that they were joking about requesting a comment from the White House on pancake-gate)

They are coming home and saying, “Mom, I want to vape.” - President Trump at a White House discussion about the teenvaping epidemic

MORE QUOTES

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It’s hard to talk about a favorite Starbucks item because I don’t enjoy the taste of Starbucks anymore. It’s either tolerable or OK, but it’s never good or great coffee anymore. - An individual who goes by the name “Winter,” in an interview with CNN about having visited 15,069 Starbucks locations over the past 22 years

The madder Hulk gets, the stronger Hulk gets. Hulk always escaped, no matter how tightly bound in he seemed to be – and that is the case for this country. We will come out on October 31. - UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson promising to find a way to circumvent a recent parliament vote ordering him to delay Brexit

I like it because I feel more independent, like I’m in charge. I really have something that’s my own.

I shot until I couldn’t shoot anymore. I saved my life.

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Political Crossfire

The Smearing of Brett Kavanaugh Continues By Marc A. Thiessen

Columbia Journalism Review poll released this year found that half of all Americans have “hardly any confidence at all” in the media, which beat out even Congress as the institution for which the public has the lowest confidence. It’s not hard to see why. Last week, CNN reported that the CIA was forced to pull a highly placed source inside the Kremlin because of concerns that President Trump might burn him – when it turns out the decision to extract the source was made before Trump took office because of leaks from senior Obama administration officials. Now, The New York Times has published an adapted excerpt from a new book by Times reporters Robin Pogrebin and Kate Kelly in which they breathlessly describe a “previously unreported story” about how Max Stier, a male college classmate of Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh, notified senators and the FBI that he saw Kavanaugh [do something inappropriate towards a girl at a party in college.] One small problem: In the book, Pogrebin and Kelly write that the female student in question “refused to discuss the incident” and that “several of her friends said she does not recall it.” That calls the entire allegation into question. Yet the Times did not include this vital information in the excerpt it published.

Pogrebin and Kelly conveniently blamed their editors for the omission. Why didn’t they insist it be included when they reviewed the story before publication? And how then do they explain the fact that they also failed to mention it in an interview with NPR? When asked by Terry Gross the specific question “Are there other women who have come forward?” (emphasis added), they repeat their uncorroborated

toward negating a defendant’s guilt – they could have their case thrown out and face potential disbarment for prosecutorial misconduct. But apparently in the court of public opinion, anything goes. That’s not all. In their article, the reporters innocuously describe Stier as someone “who runs a nonprofit organization in Washington.” They fail to share with readers in the story the fact that Stier was a member of

This is simply journalistic malpractice.

accusation without mentioning that this “other woman” not only did not come forward but also does not recall the incident. The Times was later shamed into appending an editors’ note to the story saying: “the book reports that the female student declined to be interviewed and friends say that she does not recall the incident. That information has been added to the article.” Too little, too late. This is simply journalistic malpractice. Indeed, if prosecutors in a court of law were to do what the Times did – fail to disclose evidence that goes

Bill Clinton’s legal team at the same time that Kavanaugh was working for independent counsel Kenneth Starr on the other side of the Monica Lewinsky investigation. That seems relevant information that could call his motives into question. Amazingly, the Times story leaves out the one truly newsworthy revelation in the book. During the Kavanaugh hearings, Leland Keyser – whom Christine Blasey Ford named as a witness to her alleged assault – never testified, but her lawyer wrote the Senate Judiciary Committee that while she

“has no recollection of the incident in question…. She believes Dr. Ford’s account.” In their excellent book, Justice on Trial, Mollie Hemingway and Carrie Severino first broke the news that Keyser told friends she did not, in fact, believe Ford. But Pogrebin and Kelly got Keyser to speak on the record for the first time. “It would be impossible for me to be the only girl at a get-together with three guys, have her leave, and then not figure out how she’s getting home,” she told them, adding, “I just really didn’t have confidence in the story.” She also said she was pressured by many who “wanted me to remember something different” and threatened “behind the scenes that certain things could be spread about me if I didn’t comply.” For some reason, the Times did not find this news fit to print – perhaps because it strengthens the case that Kavanaugh was smeared. The only thing more shameful than the Times’s irresponsible reporting was news of all the Democratic presidential candidates who seized on the Times story to call for Kavanaugh’s impeachment. In light of Keyser’s comments, they should be apologizing to Kavanaugh instead. And if the media wants to understand why it has surpassed Congress as the least-trusted institution in the country, here is a textbook example. (c) 2019, Washington Post Writers Group

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Political Crossfire

Trump Can Still Get a Win on Foreign Policy By Fareed Zakaria

s he moves on to his fourth national security adviser in less than three years, it’s become clear that Donald Trump’s foreign policy is in shambles. It has produced turmoil but achieved almost nothing. Despite all the boasts, there are no new deals with China, Iran, North Korea, the Taliban, or between the Israelis and Palestinians – just uncertainty, disappointment and lots of bruised feelings. Trump informed the world that he was a great deal-maker. Yet other than minor changes to NAFTA and the U.S.-South Korea trade pact – changes that Robert Zoellick, U.S. trade representative under George W. Bush, believes have probably made things worse – Trump has achieved little. There are many reasons for this. The Trump administration has been chaotic and undisciplined, bringing the ethos of a mom-and-pop real-estate shop to one of the largest and most complex institutions in the world, the U.S. federal government. Trump has had more turnover in senior staff in two and a half years than most administrations have in a full term. The central problem, however, is that Trump – despite his boasts – is a bad negotiator. With both Kim Jong Un and the Taliban, he gave away crucial leverage right from the start. The North Koreans have wanted one-onone meetings with the U.S. president for decades and were always told this would happen only after they made

concessions. Trump gave away that prize immediately, hoping to charm Kim into giving up his nuclear weapons. So far, Kim 1, Trump 0. With Afghanistan, Trump excoriated Barack Obama for announcing deadlines for troop withdrawals, making the sensible point that it allows the enemy to wait you out. And yet, Trump has done something similar, repeatedly announcing his eagerness to quit – and then being surprised that the Taliban sought to press its advantage. Consider Trump’s

system, and despite the fact that other countries want to do business with Iran, they simply can’t conduct major transactions without using the dollar and, thus, the U.S. financial system. Iran is a proud, ancient civilization and a canny regional power. It will not simply surrender. But it might agree to a new deal, one that achieves more than the Obama accord. Were that to happen, Trump could reasonably argue that while he took an unconventional approach, he was able to get what no one thought

Foreign policy is about long-term relationships, not about solo transactions.

muddle on Afghanistan: He fired national security adviser John Bolton, apparently, because Bolton objected to making a deal with the Taliban – except that Trump canceled talks with the Taliban, effectively agreeing with Bolton. With Bolton gone, Trump does have the opportunity to act on his instincts and actually get something done – a new Iran nuclear deal. His re-imposition of sanctions on Iran has been surprisingly, brutally effective. Because of the dollar’s pivotal role in the international economic

possible – a new, improved Iran deal. For this to work, Trump will have to overrule some of his most hawkish advisers and find a path to a real negotiation. The Iranians will likely sit down only if sanctions are suspended during the negotiations. They will want to describe any changes that are made as additional measures to implement the 2015 deal, rather than a new deal. Whatever; that’s what diplomats are for. Trump’s goal should be to get the Iranians to extend the time horizon of key parts of the deal by approximately

five years. He will not be able to make much headway on Iran’s ballistic missile arsenal – Tehran views that as its defense against the vast Saudi military. (It has bitter memories of being defenseless against hails of rockets and missiles by Saddam Hussein during the Iran-Iraq War.) On Iran’s other regional activities – its support for Hezbollah, for example – it might well be willing to talk, but Trump will have to consider whether this would expand the negotiations into an interminable conversation involving Israel and the broader Middle East. In addition, were Iran to agree to some restraint in these areas, America would have to reciprocate by making some concessions of its own – say, the relaxation of other U.S. sanctions against Iran. I doubt Trump or Congress would be willing to do that. Most important, to get an Iran deal, Trump would have to work against his fundamental urge always to claim victory. Maybe this works in business where there are single transactions – though it may explain why so few people ever do business with Trump again. But foreign policy is about long-term relationships, not about solo transactions. Both sides have their own domestic politics and constituencies. Each needs to be able to say it has achieved success. If Trump can stomach that, he could emerge with something rare in his tenure so far, an actual foreign policy win. (c) 2019, Washington Post Writers Group

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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

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Political Crossfire

China Disrupts the Middle East By Daniel Pipes

s Vladimir Putin’s declining Russia flaunts its power in the Middle East, Xi Jinping’s ascending China eludes the attention it deserves. But the Communist Party of China has begun investing money and gaining influence in ways that have vast – and worrisome – implications. “After years of relative passivity [Beijing] is now making a concerted effort to expand its strategic presence and economic clout” in the Middle East, writes Ilan Berman, senior vice president of the American Foreign Policy Council, in the current issue of the Middle East Quarterly. (I rely extensively on his fine analysis in what follows.) Berman rightly calls this “one of the most consequential ... trends of recent years.” Two motives – energy and ideology – explain China’s regional ambitions. As the country becomes more prosperous, its growing energy consumption leads to more dependence on Middle Eastern suppliers. China imports more than half of its crude oil and of that, nearly 40 percent comes from the Middle East, with the proportion continuing to rise. In Berman’s estimation, the region “is quickly becoming a key engine of Chinese economic growth,” which in turn implies an imperative for Beijing to gain more influence over what happens there. Beyond this practical need, asserting Chinese power has become an end in itself since Xi took power in 2013, leading to what Berman calls “an increasingly aggressive, expansionist foreign policy.” This includes an attempt at global economic dom-

inance via the Belt and Road InitiaItive that involves 100 countries. In the Middle East, this has meant that the Chinese government’s ambitions have grown in the past five years from merely buying energy and selling arms to a far deeper involvement. Symbolic of this transformation, annual Chinese investment in the region a decade ago amounted to $1 billion; at just a single forum recently, it pledged $23 billion in loans and development aid. In August, it sent a $1 billion cash infusion to Turkey alone. Militarily, Beijing become a leading contributor to UN peacekeeping

$3.2 billion in the first half of 2019 and now are estimated to control or have influence over as much as one-quarter of Israel’s tech industry, including military contractors working on confidential projects with American firms. Indeed, China may soon replace America as Israel’s single largest source of investment, a prospect that not only has official Washington “increasingly alarmed” but could damage a decades-long, particularly close and productive bond. Xinjiang: China’s massive repression of its Muslim population, especially of the Uyghurs in its far

China may soon replace America as Israel’s single largest source of investment.

operations, sent the People’s Liberation Army Navy on visits to many ports, and opened its first regional base in Djibouti in 2015. The future presumably holds many more Chinese military bases. As Beijing begins to “alter politics and security in the region,” Berman notes “tremendous consequences.” Here are three: U.S.-Israel ties: China’s leaders so appreciate the Jewish state’s technological prowess that they invested

western province of Xinjiang, has met with a collective shrug from such Muslim notables as Saudi crown prince Mohammed bin Salman and Turkish president Recep Tay yip Erdoğan. This inexcusable lack of concern contrasts dramatically with the Muslim world’s prolonged tantrum over little Israel’s far milder treatment of the Palestinians, It also signals that China’s size, power, and ruthlessness renders it free to repress Islamic religion and culture within

its domains and perhaps beyond. High-tech dictatorship: The “China model“ of surveillance, censorship, monitoring, and repression has become an important export commodity. It also has terrible implications: the ChiCom ability to control every aspect of its subjects’ lives (think smartphones as spy devices and 200GB photographs) through innovative and ubiquitous technologies hugely enhances the power of the state. Not surprisingly, these find a ready market in the Middle East. Chinese companies have helped Iran’s mullahs to stay in power since the Green Movement of 2009. They have taken over nearly all of Egypt‘s telecommunications, giving President Sisi vast controls to stifle his population. They are also worryingly active in Lebanon and Saudi Arabia (and elsewhere too, such as Africa and Latin America). Faithful to communist anti-imperialist dogma, Xi strenuously denies that his government seeks to develop a sphere of influence in the Middle East, instead proclaiming an innocent intent merely to help with economic development. Ignore the puffery: Beijing not only “holds the power to alter alliances, political discourse, and even domestic freedoms throughout the region,” as Berman puts it, but it intends to exploit that power to the maximum. Mr. Pipes (DanielPipes.org, @DanielPipes) is president of the Middle East Forum. ©2019. This article originally appeared in the Washington Times. All rights reserved.

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SEPTEMBER 2019 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29,19, 2015 | The Jewish Home

A Fulfilled L fe

How to Give Feedback Like a Boss By Rabbi Dr. Naphtali Hoff

“Make feedback normal. Not a performance review.” – Ed Batista

uring leadership trainings I will often ask participants to describe what good (and poor) feedback looks and feels like. At one recent talk to mid-level managers,

I received the following descriptors about strong feedback. • Honest • Transparent • Predictable • Prepared • Comfortable • Not offensive

• Constructive • Action and outcome focused Added together, these people were saying that feedback is most helpful and motivating when it is provided in a manner that respects the recipient and is intended to guide and correct, rather than put down or label. But how often do we see and experience the opposite? I know that I have, and it’s not fun. Not fun at all. Feedback has been famously called “the breakfast of champions.” We all need feedback to optimize performance and make sure that we are doing our jobs correctly. Yet, ask most professionals to play the game of word association with the word “feedback” and you will often hear such negative words as dishonest, fear- and anxiety-inducing, and evaluative. For this to change, we need to better appreciate the benefits of feedback. For one, feedback, whether positive or constructive, is motivating. When feedback is regular and well structured, it has been shown to improve job performance while contributing to increases in worker engagement and decreases in employee turnover. In order for feedback to be effective, it needs to be conducted as an organic component in how the company operates. The goal of feedback should not be, as Ken Blanchard calls it, “leave alone, zap!” (The leader remains quiet for an extensive period before “zapping” a report with “constructive” comments.) Rather, it should be something that happens regularly and as a natural outgrowth

of worker efforts and attitudes. Remind your team that accountability is a vital part of effective management and that feedback of any kind is an opportunity for growth and improvement. Moreover, the primary goal of feedback should not be assessment (though that is a necessary element in determining whether or not to retain, promote or dismiss personnel). Rather, the focus should be on coaching employees to grow and set new goals. (In fact, the very definition of feedback, a term borrowed from testing of machinery, is: “The furnishing of data…so that subsequent or ongoing operations… can be altered or corrected.”) When this becomes the focus, all parties become more relaxed and can get into the work of celebrating successes and brainstorming on how to make necessary improvements. Moreover, the value of feedback sharing increases in the boss’s eyes and tends to happen more regularly, not just at scheduled quarterly (or less frequent) intervals. The goal of coaching is to help people bring out their own abilities and find solutions that already lie within them. The coach achieves this through a series of questions that help the coachee to get beyond their mental blocks and limiting beliefs to achieve things that they may not otherwise have seen as possible. Let’s say that an employee is doing something that you find troublesome. Instead of leading with an evaluative statement about their behavior, con-

sider stating what you’re observing and then use open-ended questions to foster constructive conversation. Here are some questions that can work well, depending on the situation. 1. What were you thinking when…? 2. What caused you to…? 3. What is running well? Not so well? 4. What can you improve for next time? Perhaps the hardest form of feedback to deliver well is situational negative feedback. By that I mean responses to specific instances and actions that demand attention and possible correction moving forward. In these cases, we often operate in the moment and fail to carefully consider both the purpose of the feedback as well as how it will be received. In our quest to correct, we often make matters worse. The following is a feedback method that helps us focus on the action and how best to correct it while re-

serving personal judgement. It’s called “EARN,” which stands for event, action, result, and next steps. • Event: What was the situation? • Action: What was the observed behavior? • Result: What was the impact or consequence? • Next Steps: What behaviors

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

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• Action (on which you’re providing feedback) – “You answered your phone and stepped away...” • Result (the behavior created) – “When we have time set aside for meetings, it’s important that you’re present and focused, and by stepping away to take a call you are neither…” • Next Steps (suggestion for the

Feedback has been famously called “the breakfast of champions.”

need to be continued/changed? Here is an example of EARN applied. • Event (when and where the behavior occurred) – “During yesterday’s weekly team meeting…”

future) – “How would you feel about leaving your phone at your desk during meetings or only answering it in an emergency?” What’s great about this method is that it keeps the focus squarely

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on the behavior and moves us away from judging the person. We start to think in terms of how to solve a problem rather than the person being the problem. This allows us to be more thoughtful and creative in finding a solution. And besides, no one likes to be judged. As soon as we feel personally challenged, we shift from acceptance mode to a defensive one. When the right approach to feedback is taken, both parties can better collaborate towards a more harmonious solution.

Rabbi Naphtali Hoff, PsyD, is an executive and business coach and president of Impactful Coaching & Consulting. For a free, no obligation consultation, please call 212-470-6139 or email info@impactfulcoaching.com. Check out his new leadership book, “Becoming the New Boss,” on Amazon. Download his free eBook for understaffed leaders at ImpactfulCoaching. com/EPIC.

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SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Forgotten Her es

Palmachim Airforce Base By Avi Heiligman

good air force needs to have a ground support system that will meet all of the demands necessary to keep aircraft in the air. Airbases across the world

have capabilities that include a wide range of support systems other than just housing planes and their crews. In Israel, the Palmachim Airforce Base has several units, including

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two helicopter squadrons, three squadrons that operate drones, and a missile testing unit. In addition, Palmachim is home to Israel’s primary spaceport and has launched several rockets into space. Located between Tel Aviv and Ashdod near Rishon LeTzion and Yavne, Palmachim Airforce Base is situated on the Mediterranean coast. Built in the early 1970s, its original purpose was a missile test site. Israeli companies were developing new weapons, and a coastal base was an ideal location for test launches. Under base commander Uri Talmor, who succeeded Benny Peled, Palmachim was used mainly for missile testing until the late 1970s. The 124th and 160th Helicopter Squadrons moved there in 1978 and 1979, respectively. The 124th started off at Tel Nof Air Base and was used as transport for several Sayeret Matkal special missions. During the 2006 Lebanon War, the squadron gained fame by transporting soldiers into the fight and casualties out of battle all while under heavy enemy fire. Currently, they fly Sikorsky S-79 and UH-60 Blackhawk helicopters. The 160th was established after the Yom Kippur War and used refurbished AH-1 Cobra helicopters. After decades of service, the squadron was disbanded in 2013 because of cutbacks to the air

force. Palmachim currently has another helicopter squadron. The 123rd Squadron also uses Blackhawks and was also a decorated unit during the Second Lebanon War. Palmachim is most famous for its spaceport and launching of Shavit Space Vehicles and the Ofek Satellites. Shavit Space Vehicles were first produced in the 1980s with their first successful launch in 1988. This made Israel the eighth country capable of sending a payload into orbit. Ten Shavit missions have been attempted since 1988, with eight successes. These launches are limited in their scope of capabilities due to regulations of launching objects over the Mediterranean Sea. For many of their larger operations, including the recent lunar mission, Israel has used launching sites within the United States. Ofek, meaning horizon, was the main payload for Shav it Launch Vehicles with the most recent launch from Palmachim taking place in 2016. The satellites travel around Earth at low altitude and complete a rotation every 90 minutes. The satellites and launchers were developed and built by Israel Aerospace Industries. Ofek 3 was launched in 1995 and was the first Israeli satellite to have photo capabilities. Ofek 6 was launched in 2004, but due to a malfunction in an instrument box the

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The Arrow II intercepting missile launcher at Palmachim Airforce Base in 2014

launcher failed causing it to crash into the sea. Arrow missile interceptors built in Israel with American funding are tested at the site. In 2008, Israel successfully test-fired a missile believed to be an upgraded version of the Jericho III. A long trail of smoke from the missile launched

at Palmachim was seen throughout central Israel. Palmachim is also home to the elite Israeli Air Force Commando Special Forces Unit 5101 also known as Shaldag. Shaldag operations are quite extensive as they perform counter-terrorism missions, among their many missions.

Airbases are crucial for the defense of Israel. The public does not hear too much about Palmachim Air Base in the news. With all of the units and operations that call Palmachim home, it is easy to understand its value to a country with so many enemies in the region. It should be noted that Palmachim may be the

home to other operations but they are kept classified and are only suspected to be there by the media. Avi Heiligman is a weekly contributor to The Jewish Home. He welcomes your comments and suggestions for future columns and can be reached at aviheiligman@gmail.com.

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INWOOD OFFICE SPACE LOWEST PRICES IN TOWN! 500-7000 Square feet gorgeous office space with WATERVIEW in Inwood! Lots of options. Tons of parking. Will divide and customize space for your needs! Call 516-567-0100

WOODMERE: BEST BUY Spacious 2BR Apartment, Washer/Dryer In Bldg, Elevator Bldg, Open Floor Plan, 1st Floor, Close To All...$199K Call Carol Braunstein (516) 295-3000 www.pugatch.com

FOR SALE IN LONG BEACH Beachside Classic Tudor Newly Renovated 4 BR, 4 Baths, 2 FP, Bsmt, Deck, Garage, 6000 SF lot, $899K Beach West Realty 516-287-9735

EAST ROCKAWAY: Retail Stores on Busy Corner, 1000SF& Up Available, Great High Visibility Location, For Lease… Call for More Details Broker (516) 792-6698

PRICE REDUCED: Sprawling 4BR, 4BA Exp-Ranch, Oversized Rooms, LR W/Fplc, Formal Dining Rm, Large Den, Master Suite, Full Finished Basement, Storage Room & Office, Deck, Fabulous Property…$1.078M Call Carol Braunstein (516) 295-3000 www.pugatch.com 2 FAMILY HOUSE FOR SALE IN FAR ROCKAWAY NEW ASKING PRICE! 602 Seagirt Blvd Well-maintained, 3.5 bedroom over 2 bedroom New kitchen with quartz countertops and new appliances. Spacious backyard with swingset. Central AC/heat, two thermostats. Alarm system. Asking 829K Call or text 917-755-5808

SF MEDICAL OFFICE SPACE Available, Reception Area, Waiting Room, Kitchenette, 2 Consult, 4 Exam Rooms, 2 Bathrooms, 30 Car On-Site Parking, For Lease … Call Ian for More Details (516) 295-3000 www.pugatch.com OFFICE SPACE AVAILABLE: Professional office to sublet for $1000 per month which includes utilities. It is on the second floor on Central Avenue, in the heart of Cedarhurst. It will be available Oct. 1st. This would be perfect for a psychologist or other health related professional. Call 516-371-3715.

HELP WANTED DAY HAB PROGRAM COORDINATOR POSITION AVAILABLE Seeking organized, responsible, sensitive and creative individual to help supervise and coordinate an adult program for people with special needs. Family friendly/flexible work environment. Resume to shanie@otsar.org

VACATION RENTALS VACATION IN JERUSALEM: Beautiful 3 bedroom apartment with porch and view available for short term in the Kaduri – Jerusalem Heights project on the 8th floor. Contact today: Shisha Realty 718-408-8070 vacation@shisharealty.com VACATION IN JERUSALEM: Beautiful Short-term rentals in Jerusalem (Sharei Chesed, Romema, Hanevi'im – City Center) Contact today for great service: Shisha Realty 718-408-8070 vacation@shisharealty.com

ASSISTANT TEACHERS CAHAL is seeking part time or full time Assistant Teachers for Judaic Studies (AM) and/or General Studies (PM) for the 2019-20 school year. Send resume to shira@cahal.org or Fax 516-295-2899. Call 516-295-3666 for more information.

SUMMER RENTALS DUE TO CANCELLATION 1 UNIT AVAILABLE S Fallsburg, Willow Woods B section Rent/sale, Beautiful, fully furnished duplex, porches, great condition. 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, upgraded. Call/Text 917-270-6032.

Whether buying or selling real estate...

Licensed Associate Broker, G.R.I.

516-298-8457 mlipner@bhhslaffey.com

JOIN US SAT 9/21 & SUN 9/22 FOR MAKE AN OFFER WEEKEND! OPEN HOUSE SUN 9/22 1:00-2:30pm

OPEN HOUSE SUN 9/22 12:00-2:00pm

OPEN HOUSE SUN 9/22 2:00-3:30pm

OPEN HOUSE SUN 9/22 11:00-12:30pm

95 Briarwood Lane Lawrence - $1,895,000 Renovated 5+ BR, CH Colonial on 1/2 Acre, Fin. Bsmt

Lawrence $599,000 2BR, 2Bath co-op, Elevator, Doorman Bldg, IGP, Terrace, Close to all!

243 Club Drive, Woodmere $879,000 Spacious 5BR, 3.5Bath Colonial

333 Argyle Road, Cedarhurst $725,000 4BR, 3Bath Prime Location

447 Bell Street W. Hempstead - $629,000 4BR, 2Bath, Mint, CAC, Finished Basement

OPEN HOUSE SUN 9/22 12:00-2:00pm

OPEN HOUSE SUN 9/22 3:00-4:30pm

OPEN HOUSE SUN 9/22 1:00-3:00pm

OPEN HOUSE BY APPOINTMENT

OPEN HOUSE SUN 9/22 11:00-12:30pm

509 Cedarwood, Cedarhurst $729,000 New Exclsuive, 3BR, 3Bath Split Level, Fin. Bsmnt, CAC

566 Donald Lane, Woodmere $715,000 4BR, 3Bath, 2MBR with Full Bathrooms, CAC, IGS, Alarm, Renovated EIK, Main Floor Den

391 Westwood Rd, Woodmere $1,100,000 Renovated 6BR, 3 Full Bath Exp Ranch, New Kitchen & Bathrooms, Windows, Siding, Driveway

807 Glen Drive, Woodmere Price Reduced! - $649,000 5BR, 2 Bath, Low Taxes, Location, Location, Location

970 West Broadway Woodmere - $899,000 New Exclusive, 4BR, 3Full Bath, Spacious CH Colonial, New EIK, Finished Basement

CALL 516-298-8457 TODAY TO FIND OUT YOUR HOMES CURRENT VALUE!

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Classifieds HELP WANTED

HELP WANTED

ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT POSITION AVAILABLE FOR ADULT DAY HAB PROGRAM Must be organized and have good computer and phone skills will include interaction with individuals with special needs Resume to shanie@otsar.org

WORK 1:1 WITH CHILDREN OR ADULTS with developmental disabilities living in your community. P/T After School hours. Will train. 718-686-3487, www.ohelfamily.org/careers

BAIS YAAKOV ATERES MIRIAM IS SEEKING PROFESSIONAL AND CARING TEACHERS FOR ELEMENTARY SCHOOL AND PRE-1A. Also seeking assistant teachers for preschool and elementary school. Please email resume to teachingpositions1@gmail.com. YOUNG, ENERGETIC BAAL TEFILLAH AVAILABLE FOR THE COMING YOMIM NORAIM. 5 years experience in leading various parts of the Yomim Noraim davening, including shachris, mussaf, mincha, maariv, kol nidrei and leining. Audio samples and references available upon request. If interested, please reply to: yomim.noraim.baal.tefillah@gmail.com

119 Spruce Street, Cedarhurst 11516 358 Elm Street, West Hempstead 11552

FAR ROCKAWAY

Open HOuse - sun. 9/22 11Am-1pm

710 Frisco Avenue

spacious c.h. colonial with a great layout in sought-out area of far rockaway. 4 large bedrooms on 2nd fl., master w/ fbth. main fl. family rm. bring offers. asking $1,150,000

FANTASTIC OPPORTUNITY FOR A HEAD MORAH IN TAG GANGER EARLY CHILDHOOD (Far Rockaway). Come join our team of warm, enthusiastic experienced moros! Please send resumes to csender@tagschools.org. SPECIAL ED DIRECTOR Responsibility: Curriculum Designer Individual curriculum as needed Staff training Innovative, visionary Requirement: Masters Special Ed and Education Administration or SLP Backgroup Email Resume: specialedresume2018@gmail.com

Cedarhurst 516.374.0242 West Hempstead 516.565.4392 info@sharonabeckrealty.com

WesT HempsTeAD

Open HOuse - sun. 9/22 1pm- 3pm

115 PoPlAr street

3 bedroom colonial on 113 deep property. hardwood floors beneath carpets. spacious living room and dining room. asking $439,000

WOODsBuRGH

Open HOuse - sun. 9/22 11Am-1pm

Call Us Today For An Honest, Commitment Free Market

8 Woodmere BoulevArd s (BetWeen B’WAy & crAWFord rd.) large and grand colonial in prime location at the mouth of woodsburgh, 7 bdrms, 4.5 bths, renovated kitchen. asking $1,590,000

Analysis And Find Out What Your Home Is Worth In The Current Market!

HELP WANTED Seeking full time OCCUPATIONAL THERAPIST for Special Education school located in Brooklyn. Experienced preferred. Competitive salary. Room for growth. resumes@yadyisroelschool.org

REGISTERED NURSE openings to work with adults who have developmental disabilities within residential settings in Brooklyn, Manhattan, or Long Island. Current NYS RN, min 2 years hospital exp. OHEL: 855-OHEL JOB www.ohelfamily.org/careers

HELP WANTED REWARDING OPPORTUNITIES WORKING WITH MEN OR WOMEN WITH DEVELOPMENTAL DISABILITIES living in group homes in Lawrence, Cedarhurst or Woodmere. 3pm-11pm or overnight. Call 855-OHEL-JOB www.ohelfamily.org/careers

“NEW FIVE TOWNS RESTAURANT IS LOOKING TO HIRE THE FOLLOWING POSITIONS: Experienced grill man Laffa maker

ASSISTANTS NEEDED FOR ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, AFTERNOON SESSION. Email: fivetownseducators@gmail.com TORAH ACADEMY FOR GIRLS, FAR ROCKAWAY SEEKS QUALIFIED, EXPERIENCED MOROS, ELEMENTARY DIVISION. Please email resume to mlevin@tagschools.org

Dishwasher Delivery guy Please email Ronazohar@hotmail.com 5 TOWNS BOYS YESHIVA SEEKING ELEM GEN ED TEACHERS Excellent working environment and pay. Only lic/exp need apply. Email resume to yeshivalooking@gmail.com

HASC Center is now hiring: Flatbush

Crown Heights

Boro Park

Seeking a responsible female to work with a sweet, developmentally delayed 5 year old boy.

Seeking a female to work Saturday nights and Sundays with a 28 year old woman who uses a wheelchair. Great pay! Looking for a male to work with a high functioning 15 year old once or twice a week in the evenings and on Sundays.

Looking for a young & energetic male to work with a non-verbal young man on Sundays.

Looking for a female to work with an autistic 5 year old boy.

Bensonhurst

Brighton Beach

Looking for a male to work with a developmentally delayed 12 year old boy. After school hours.

Seeking a male to go out in the community with an adult. Activities may include; swimming, billiards, arts & crafts and more.

Opportunity for a female 30 years (or older), to work one on one with a charming disabled woman (Tues-Thurs 10am-2pm).

Far Rockaway

Looking for a male to work daily with a clever 13 year old autistic boy. Afternoon hours.

Apply: 718.535.1937 Email resume to HR@hasccenter.org

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

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Classifieds HELP WANTED P/T POSITION TO COOK for adults with developmental disabilities in a group home in Cedarhurst. Knowledge of Kashrut a must. 855-OHEL-Job, www. ohelfamily.org/careers SHULAMITH EARLY CHILDHOOD is looking to hire a full time teacher assistant for the current school year. Please email resume to earlychildhood@shulamith.org

HELP WANTED

HASC Center seeks Residence Manager Train and oversee all residence staff Work with appropriate clinical or program staff and community agency staff to provide services to individuals with developmental disabilities

CEDARHURST

WE ARE OPENED!!! LIMITED SUITES AND OFFICES STILL AVAILABLE! Call Raizie (917)903-1778

Develop residence facility rules and procedures and ensure compliance by all staff Ensure residence facility is kept clean, neat, healthy and safe

Respond to crisis situations and medical emergencies

Apply: 718.535.1937 Email resume to HR@hasccenter.org Residential Services

Vocational Programs

Day Habilitation

Health Center

Family Support

Summer Camp

Community Rehab

YOUNG ISRAEL OF LONG BEACH IS SEEKING A VIBRANT YOUNG COUPLE (REBBE/MORAH TYPES) TO SERVE AS YOUTH DIRECTORS. The candidate(s) would run youth groups on Shabbos and develop youth programming for all ages and seek to engage the young couples in the shul. email cwakslak@att.net.

MISC

Supervisory experience a must. Experience with individuals with developmental disabilities a must.

Looking to hire sales people to train as NY & NJ Public Adjusters. No experience necessary, flexible hours. Call 973-951-1534 CATAPULT LEARNING Teachers, Title I Boro Park, Williamsburg and Flatbush Schools *College/Yeshiva Degree *Teaching experience required *Strong desire to help children learn *Small group instruction *Excellent organization skills Competitive salary Send resume to: Fax: (212) 480-3691 ~ Email: nyteachers@catapultlearning.com

Daily review of notes and documentation for each individual in the program

HELP WANTED

Medicaid Coordination

LOOKING FOR A CHAVRUSAH IN YOUR DAILY BUSY SCHEDULE? We connect you with experienced devoted individuals willing to teach. Time and place designed for your convenience. Please email Highfive613ys@gmail.com Tizku lmitzvos!!

Reach Your Target Market

Classifieds WOODMERE

4 store commercial space with 2 vacancies and 2 operating businesses Call Raizie (917) 903-1778 ask $999K

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MILLER COMMERCIAL 680CENTRAL 5X3.qxp_2018 11/26/18 3:32 PM Page 1

NOBODY

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Shalom Task Force receives thousands of phone calls offering a confidential place to turn to for help, resources and support. You’re not alone. We’re here to help. CONFIDENTIAL ANONYMOUS HOTLINE:

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Anonymous hotline — no caller ID. You do not have to give your name. Trained staff of informed, sensitive and caring individuals. Referrals include counseling, legal advice or finding a safe place. It hurts to call A domestic abuse hotline. It hurts more not to. www.ShalomTaskForce.org

The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

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Life C ach

I Had It a Minute Ago! By Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., MFT, CLC

here are certain items that truly are magical. They function on some surreal level. Their ability to disappear completely into thin air is baffling though. Seriously, where do those socks go? Every single time you do a wash, more go in than come out. Are washing machines made with some hidden sock disintegrator? Like, maybe washing machine manufacturers feel they don’t really get a fair return on investment and therefore they take that frustration out on everyone. It’s not like you’re forgetting to take those socks out. You stick your hand in, fish around, and nothing! Two go in; one comes out. This has been a mysterious fact across language barriers and borders from the beginning of time. And what about all those pens you had? You store them in your kitchen drawer, your desk drawer, your pocketbook. However, wherever you stockpile them they inevitably dwindle down to nothing. I understand when you are out and about you can possibly leave a pen somewhere or walk off with someone else’s. But in the kitchen? Are you inadvertently throwing them into your omelet or deli roll?

Presumably one could blame it on everyone in the house grabbing one till there are none left. But I’ve seen that this happens even when people are living alone. I’d say pens certainly earn the status of belonging in that category of mystery “disappearers”! Here’s another one: a favorite sweater. People marvel: “I just wore

know the one you wanted to review this weekend. Of course, your emails are piling up as high as Mt. Everest, but the one you really needed to focus on – it’s nowhere to be found! Did it go to trash, junk mail, or perhaps did it forward itself even very possibly to the last person you would want to see it? In the alternative, did it very considerately decide to

Are you inadvertently throwing them into your omelet or deli roll?

it last week. I’m sure I put it right here. I’m positive! Or did I give it to the cleaners on Monday or hang it up in the coat closet? Maybe I left it on the couch in the den. Actually, did I wear it to dinner the other night and leave it on the back of the chair? I guess it will turn up one of these days but it feels like it disappeared into thin air.” What about that email? You

self-delete just to lighten your load? These endless mysteries exist in many areas. For instance: Who stole the gasoline in the car? “I just filled it up. How is it on empty?” “I just bought the coffee creamer. Did it evaporate? In fact, who used up the coffee all together?” “Toothpaste. How is it done already? I just opened the tube?! And

it’s not like the kids are clamoring to brush their teeth day and night.” “That cup I just put down. Where’d it get to? Did it suddenly grow some feet?” “My slice of cake. I just started eating it. Who finished it?” (Wait, that was probably me!) The number of things that are being confiscated by some mystery force are endless, when we really think about it. There is definitely some unidentifiable energy operating…in the washing machine, the kitchen, in your closet, your car, etc. that changes the balance of things. The good news is that since this is a universal phenomenon, you can rest assured that it’s not just you! You are not alone, and you are not going crazy. These are truths that have existed since the beginning of time. Perhaps when we find those missing socks, we will begin to unearth the long-hidden secret of how and where these items actually disappear to. But until then, it may just be time to buy some more. Rivki Rosenwald is a certified relationship counselor, and career and life coach. She can be contacted at 917-7052004 or rivki@rosenwalds.com.

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The Jewish Home | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

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