The Jewish Home | MAY 12, 2022
108
teen talk
by rabbi Doniel Drandoff, LMFt
Dear Teen Talk,
When I was younger, I was always on the chubby side. Actually, I was extremely overweight. Vivid memories of being bullied and made fun of still haunt me. In school, other girls would say horrible things to me and I just felt terrible about myself.
Teen Talk ,
a new colum n in TJH, is ge ared towards th e teens in our com munity. A nswered b rotating ro ya ster of tea chers, reb clinicians beim, , and peers (!), teens w hearing a ill be nswers to many que stions they had percolatin g in their minds and wishe d they ha d the answ ers for.
It’s hard to pinpoint exactly when, but sometime in the middle of 7th grade I began to grow. I guess you could call it a growth spurt. Between then and the end of 9th grade, I lost a ton of weight, while growing about 4 or 5 inches. Now I am in 11th grade and, somehow, I am still stuck on thoughts of my childhood. After losing all the weight, I became extremely health conscious. I have focused a lot on my diet and on exercise. I basically don’t eat carbs or anything with high calories. Mostly, I stick to salads with no dressing and other healthy foods. I also work out religiously. Beyond the intrusive thoughts of my days being bullied, I have been feeling sick lately. Physically sick. I get stomach cramps and often feel really tired. I haven’t told my parents because I don’t want to worry them, but I’m beginning to worry. I’m afraid that my diet may have something to do with it but I cannot go back to being heavy and ridiculed. Some people tell me I’m too thin now, but I don’t agree. And regardless, if I let go then I feel I could easily slide back and lose myself. What can I do?
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OctOber 29, 2015 | the Jewish Home
-Eliana**
M
y heart truly goes out to you Eliana. It sounds like you went through some serious bullying in elementary school and the pain has stuck with you. I cannot imagine what it must have felt like all those years being made fun of for your weight. It is only natural that in response to years of enduring ridicule you made it your life’s mission to stay thin. In your mind, you are fighting off demons every day of your life. One little slip, and you will tumble all the way down to a place of despair – a place where this child part still lives and is terrified. So,
you diet and exercise religiously as a way of ensuring that you never have to feel that way again. That bullied child part dominates your life today. Despite how understandable this all is, I have some serious concerns for your safety. While sticking to a healthy diet and regular exercise is healthy, physically as well as emotionally, I am worried that you have gone beyond that. I would like to take a moment to discuss an ex-
tremely dangerous condition called anorexia nervosa, or anorexia, for short. Certainly, I cannot diagnose based solely upon the short paragraph you shared. However, I think that it is important for you to consider what follows here, because what you are describing in your question has many of the hallmarks of this potentially deadly disorder. Anorexia is an eating disorder that affects many teens in the U.S. Research suggests that anywhere between
