It’s So Alarming by Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., CLC, SDS

Life C ach

It’s Just So Alarming

By Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., LMFT, CLC, SDS

It’s ringing!

Where is it? I can never find where I put it. Where’d I put my cellphone?

Maybe it would help if I had it surgically implanted.

Perhaps that’s what the iPhone watch is kind of addressing? It’s the solution to having it continuously connected to you. But I’m just not ready to downgrade to a mobile phone as part of my jewelry just yet.

Oy, it’s still ringing. I must be in so much trouble with someone by now. They just don’t seem to stop. They must need me badly.

Riiiiiiinnnnngggg!

Oh my, where is it already! Think. Think. Where’d I have it last? Oh my gosh. There it is! Sticking right out from the couch cushion.

Hooray! Eureka! I got it.

Wait a second. I’m holding it, but I’m still hearing the ringing.

Must be my iPad? Where is….oh… there it is. Right in the kitchen. I can just grab it.

Whatttt?! Battery at zero? Hhuh?

Oh, my goodness….

The roast!!

I always forget that irritating oven timer! We are so trained to think that buzzing equals phone.

I usually forget to set the oven timer and that’s a disaster, or I triumphantly do set it but then forget all about it!

Both of these directions just aren’t working for me, obviously. Then when I hear something going off, I’m

running around looking for my phone while my food is burning!

Often, I’ve thought of setting the timer on my phone to remedy the food timer situation. But, as you can see, that wouldn’t work; I’d either not find where my phone is in order to set it or I’d set my phone and have no idea why it’s ringing.

I think what I actually need to do is purchase a cellphone to give to the food I’m preparing. This way, I can train my dish to start calling me a half hour before it’s ready to come out of the oven. That will give me the time I need to locate my phone. And by the time I find my phone, I’ll be ready to take out what’s cooking.

That certainly sounds like a winwin. Food to the table uncharred! Phone in hand! I could almost look like I’ve got it all together.

Now, if only I could actually teach my brisket to speak and also depend on a cellphone not to explode in extreme heat.

Until then, the comedy continues. The saga goes on and on….

Me in hot pursuit of my phone.

My cooking in hot pursuit of me!

Wait –

What’s that going off now?

Got the phone!

Got the food!

Oh no, forgot about the doorbell!

I think what I actually need to do is purchase a cellphone to give to the food I’m preparing.