Five Towns Jewish Home - 2-20-20 by The Jewish Home

February 20, 2020

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INSPIRING & CONNECTING Women Around the World TJH Speaks with

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Dear Readers,

round ten years ago, I attended a meeting for local businesspeople and was speaking to an older gentleman. He asked if I worked outside the home, and when I told him that I was the editor of a publication, he looked at me and said, “Oh, so you print some recipes?” I didn’t understand his question. “Print recipes?” I asked him. “What do you mean by that?” Well, it turned out that, because he was speaking with a woman – regardless of her position – he thought that the only thing she would be interested in was recipes. Yup, recipes. That, of course, is a very backwards, provincial view. And not wanting to perpetuate any stereotypes, I forbade myself from making any assumptions in my mind about this man – although, believe me, I had many ideas about the narrowness of his mind circling about in my head. Last summer, I met with a woman living in Lawrence for an article I was working on. Before leaving her home, she pressed the book, The Memoirs of Gluckel of Hameln, into my hands. Although I had learned about Gluckel, I had never read her memoirs, and this woman was adamant that Gluckel would inspire and mesmerize me with her accounts of the times. Gluckel lived in 17 th century Europe and had fourteen children. But that’s not why she is famous. A German Jew, she wrote volumes about her experiences in raising her family, running a successful business, and about world and Jewish events at the time. Reading through her memoirs is catching a glimpse into the world that was and witnessing the remarkable strength and wisdom of this woman who lived hundreds of years ago. Women are not just about “recipes.” Yes, there are some of us who are better at cooking or know how to employ a special flair when they plate the brisket and potatoes at the Shabbos seudah. But there are so many facets and aspects to each person,

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so many qualities and characteristics that make up each woman. I am always fascinated when I speak with women and hear about how they manage to run a household, raise a family, and take care of their other responsibilities. Everyone seems to have their own schedule, their own way of getting things done. And they manage to do it all. They are able to help their children with homework, get their kids into bed, and pack up lunches and snacks and loving notes in their backpacks. They run to catch the train, send out myriad emails, and help to organize work functions. They manage to take care of career obligations and their obligations to their families. They are there for their husbands, their parents, their children, and their friends. And they do it all with aplomb and grace. Gluckel of Hameln would be proud. This week, we spoke with Rebbetzin Dr. Adina Shmidman, who runs the OU’s Women’s Initiatives Department. What I loved hearing about was how Adina is involved with connecting Jewish women from around the world. Whether it’s about giving them a dose of spirituality or providing them with tools to help them become leaders in their community, these women come together despite their differences or dissimilarities. In fact, I believe that because each person involved is so different from the other, they are able to learn and grow so much more from each other. Wishing you a wonderful week, Shoshana P.S. The Orthodox community has been coming out strong in the turnout for the WZO elections but there is still a way to go! If you haven’t yet done so, spend a few minutes this week casting your vote. It takes just 5 minutes but can change the Jewish landscape in Israel and the U.S. for the next 5 years. Vote today. www.eretzhakodesh.org.

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Contents LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

COMMUNITY 8

Readers’ Poll Community Happenings

44 NEWS

125

Global

National

Odd-but-True Stories

ISRAEL Israel News

My Israel Home

JEWISH THOUGHT Rabbi Wein on the Parsha

Connecting to Our Higher Self by Rav Moshe Weinberger

Parsha in Four by Eytan Kobre

Creating Connections with the Next Generation by Yeshaya Kraus, LCSW

PEOPLE The Wandering Jew

Inspiring & Connecting: TJH Speaks with Rebbetzin Dr. Adina Shmidman

Jews in the 32nd Infantry Division by Avi Heiligman

120

HEALTH & FITNESS Why Am I So Bloated? by Aliza Beer, MS RD CDN

104

But This is Not Normal by Dr. Deb Hirschhorn

106

FOOD & LEISURE The Aussie Gourmet: Sesame Couscous Chicken

108

LIFESTYLES Dating Dialogue, Moderated by Jennifer 98 Mann, LCSW

Dear Editor, This past Friday night at shul I took a free “Magen Sarah” reflector belt which was widely distributed by Achiezer to anybody who wanted to wear one. Although the value of reflective belts as a life-saving device is self-evident, I had refused to wear one all these years because I was self-conscious of being the only one in my neighborhood to wear one. Plus, it wouldn’t exactly enhance my Shabbos attire, to say the least. Now that they were made available in shuls across our community, I wore one for the first time and spotted dozens of people wearing them, as well. I hope the trend will only increase. A big yasher koach to Rabbi and Rebbetzin Aryeh Z. Ginzberg who sponsored this initiative in memory of their precious daughter, Sarala. May her neshama have an aliyah. By wearing the Magen Sarah reflective belt, we will be taking the simple precaution of protecting ourselves by being more visible at night. May Hashem watch over Klal Yisroel and save us from all harm. Rabbi Shlomo Drebin Woodmere Dear Editor, I found the article “Mi Sheberach for Rush Limbaugh” to be quit offensive. Why would someone use someone like him to make the point that the writer was trying to make? Besides, I’m not sure what the writer’s point was anyways. If he is saying

that we don’t daven for other people, that is patently false. Sincerely, B. G. Dear Editor, This is not the first time you published an article that caught me by surprise. A few weeks ago, right after the Siyum HaShas, you published an article about a “family party.” I was fascinated when I started reading because I couldn’t imagine who had such a diverse (perhaps dysfunctional) family. But then I read on, and saw how united they were, and joined in their happiness. Only later, at the end, did I understand where the writer had taken me – to an uplifting, inspiring lesson on our amazing, wonderful nation. This week, too, I was taken on a journey with another writer whose article was supposed to be about Rush Limbaugh – who I love listening to – and ended up on another different route. But I loved it – it was interesting to hear what he had to say and the lesson that was borne was impactful and important to all. Yes, we live in “rushed” times. We are busy. We want to head out to eat the Shabbos seudah with our families and families. But let’s remember that a large part of our davening is communal – especially on Shabbos. We daven for the klal and ask for bracha and hatzlacha for all of us. It’s an apContinued on page 10

Sharing for Maximal Productivity by Naphtali Hoff, PsyD 118 What’s the Deal with Retail? by Shlomo Chopp 119

126

Your Money

125

Where’d That Come From? by Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., CLC, SDS 126

HUMOR Centerfold 80 POLITICAL CROSSFIRE Notable Quotes

110

The Reemergence of the Moderate Democrat by David Ignatius

115

How a Biden Collapse Could Benefit Sanders by Marc A. Thiessen

116

CLASSIFIEDS

122

February 9 was Bagel and Lox Day. Have you eaten a bagel with lox within the last few weeks?

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GIVE

Continued from page 8

Give this Purim card to your friends! Give a neighbor in need Shabbos and Yom Tov food!

rim In the spirit of Pu made en be s ha n tio na do a in your honor to

To:

propriate and important opportunity for us to daven for cholim at that time. Will it take a few extra minutes? Yes. Is it worth it? Absolutely. Perhaps, if a shul feels that their members wouldn’t be able to hack those few extra minutes to daven for those who are unwell, they may want to ask the rabbi to shorten his drasha or for the baal tefillah to daven meaningfully but without delay. Tefillos for klal Yisroel are tefillos for us all. We need to remember that every person on a cholim “list” is our brother and our sister in dire need of our tefillos. Sincerely, H. Lustig Dear Editor, Kol Hakavod to Rabbi Lerner on forming the Eretz Hakodesh slate for World Zionist Organization elections. I wish him only success. I have only one bone to pick: his statement that “by voting in these elections, we’re not becoming Zionists.” It’s time to put this old idea behind us. Zionism, as readers surely know, is the national liberation movement of the Jewish people. There is only one ultimate place where our true liberation as a people can be reached:

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Airstrikes in Yemen killed at least 31 civilians last Saturday, in what appears to be retaliation from Saudi Arabia after Iran-backed Houthi rebels claimed to have shot down one of its planes. Without stating the cause of the crash, a coalition statement from the official Saudi Press Agency reported that the crew had been ejected from the plane before the crash but were then shot at by the rebels in “violation of the international humanitarian law.” “The lives and wellbeing of the crew is the responsibility of the terrorist Houthi militia,” the statement said, without specifying whether or not the officers had survived. Houthi rebels released footage of their “advanced surface-to-air missile” being launched and striking their mark. “The downing of a Tornado in the sky above Al-Jawf is a major blow to the enemy and an indication of remarkable growth in Yemeni (rebel) air defense capabilities,” Houthi spokesman Mohammed Abdelsalam tweeted. There has recently been an escalation in fighting around the Houthiheld capital Sanaa, as the rebels advance on several fronts towards Al-Hazm, the regional capital of AlJawf. The province of Al-Jawf has been in the hands of the Houthis, but Al-Hazm remains under control of the Saudi-backed government. The ability to take down a jet indicates the rebels’ increasingly stronger military capabilities. They now possess weapons bearing signs of Iranian origin, in potential violation of a UN arms embargo. According to a report compiled by a panel of UN

experts, some of these new weapons display “technical characteristics similar to arms manufactured in the Islamic Republic of Iran.” The panel didn’t indicate whether the weapons were delivered to the Houthis directly by the Iranian government, which has repeatedly denied doing so. The coalition first intervened against the Houthis in 2015, in a conflict that has killed tens of thousands of people, mainly civilians, in what the UN has referred to as the world’s worst humanitarian crisis. Last Wednesday, the coalition reported that military personnel suspected of being behind the airstrikes would be put on trial.

U.S. and Taliban to Sign Deal

Following almost two decades of warfare and a year of talks, the U.S. and the Taliban are close to reaching a deal that will bring most U.S. troops home. According to Taliban leader Mullah Abdul Salam Hanafi, the two sides will sign an agreement by the end of the month. “Both sides have initiated the final draft of the peace agreement. Now talks are concluded,” he said. He added that “both sides have agreed to sign the agreement by the end of this month” but needed a “favorable environment before signing the agreement.” While the parameters of the deal have yet to be confirmed, the agreement is said to mandate that the Taliban end attacks completely for a seven-day period. Should the ceasefire hold, the U.S. would then sign a peace deal with the Taliban that would see all U.S. troops brought home during an 18-month period. Speculation had been mounting that the two sides had been close to reaching a final agreement, especially after U.S. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo and Defense Secretary Mark Esper sat with Afghanistan’s Pres-

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ident Ashraf Ghani in Munich last week. While confirming that an agreement was close, Esper said on Sunday that the start of the week-long “reduction in violence” had yet to be decided. “We have on the table right now a reduction in violence proposal that was negotiated between our ambassador and the Taliban,” Esper said. “It looks very promising.”

Airstrikes Flatten Weapons Depot in Syria

Satellite photos show considerable damage resulting from an alleged Israeli airstrike on Damascus

International Airport last week. Released by the private intelligence firm ImageSat, the photos showed a slew of warehouses commonly used to store weapons utterly destroyed. Another multistory building near the structures was also totaled, with ImageSat concluding that they were used as the warehouses’ headquarters. A large airplane hangar nearby was also bombed, with ImageSat saying that they were “probably used for storing ammunition or [surface-toair missiles].” According to reports, four Syrian troops and three Iranians were killed in the Thursday attack, despite claims by the Syrian military that none of the missiles caused any damage. The attack is said to have targeted a shipment of advanced Iranian weapons that had landed in the airport a few hours earlier. Videos posted on social media of the attack showed anti-aircraft missiles firing in all directions along with the sound of explosions. All of the Israeli warplanes made it back to base safely. The attack occurred about a week after another attack attributed to Israel against the pro-Iranian militias.

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu declined to respond to reports of an Israeli attack in Damascus, saying on Friday that “I can say that we have a general policy to act against Iran’s establishment in Syria. “I don’t know what happened at night. Maybe it was the Belgian air force,” Netanyahu quipped.

Equal Rights in Indian Army

This week, India’s Supreme Court ruled in favor of equal rights in the armed forces, ordering the government to grant permanent commission and command positions to women officers on par with men. The judgment, seen as a landmark decision for the Indian military, means that all women will now

be eligible for the same promotions, ranks, benefits and pensions as their male counterparts, irrespective of their years of service or whether they had retired. Female officers have long campaigned for this change, which will allow them to serve a full tenure and achieve a higher rank, with greater salary and leadership potential. Currently, women are inducted into the army through short service commissions, which only permit them to serve for 10 to 14 years. “This change will lift up women – not just in the army but all girls across the country and the world,” Lt. Col. Seema Singh said after the court ruling. Though the court’s ruling does not permit women to serve in army combat units, like the infantry or artillery corps, they are now eligible to command entire battalions or head the intelligence department. Promotions to command positions will be considered on a case-by-case basis, said Archana Pathak Dave, one of the lawyers representing the female officers. The decision comes after the government told the court that female officers were not physically and physi-

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nied women a route to leadership positions: “It is not about money, it is about career prospects.” In handing down its verdict on Monday, the Supreme Court delivered a powerful defense of equality, saying in the judgment that it was time for change in India’s armed forces. “The time has come for a realization that women officers in the army are not adjuncts to a male dominated establishment whose presence must be ‘tolerated’ within narrow confines,” the court said.

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ologically suitable to hold permanent commissions in the armed forces. “Women officers must deal with pregnancy, motherhood, and domestic obligations towards their children and families and may not be well suited to the life of a soldier in the armed forces,” the central government had stated. The court said that the government’s arguments were based on discriminatory gender stereotypes and rejected their plea to overturn a 2010

Delhi high court order on the same policy. In its 2010 ruling, the Delhi court stated: “A PC (Permanent Commission) carries with it certain privileges of rank, including pension. These women officers have served well the armed forces of the country in the areas of operation they were recruited for and have worked in this capacity for 14 to 15 years. They deserved better from the respondents.” “In matters of gender discrimina-

tion, a greater sensitivity is expected and required,” it added. The Indian government agreed last year to give permanent commissions to women, but said it would only apply to female officers who had served less than 14 years – excluding hundreds of women who had already served out their short service commissions. Aishwary Bhati, one of the lawyers representing female officers, said the government’s decision de-

On Tuesday, Tehran announced that it had sentenced eight environmental activists, including an Iranian who reportedly also has British and American citizenship, to prison sentences ranging from four to 10 years on charges of spying for the United States and acting against Iran’s national security. Two of the activists, Morad Tahbaz and Niloufar Bayani, got 10 years each and were ordered to return the money they allegedly received from the U.S. government for their services. Tahbaz is an Iranian who also holds U.S. and British citizenship. Iran does not recognize dual or multiple nationalities, meaning Iranians it detains cannot receive consular assistance from their other countries. In most cases, dual nationals have faced secret charges in closed-door hearings before Iran’s Revolutionary Court, which handles cases involving alleged attempts to overthrow the government. Gholamhossein Esmaili, the judiciary spokesman, said two other activists, Houman Jokar and Taher Ghadirian, each got eight-year sentences for allegedly “collaborating with the hostile government of America.” Another three of the activists, Sam Rajabi, Sepideh Kashan Doust and Amirhossein Khaleghi Hamidi, were sentenced to six years in prison

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each. The eighth activist, Abdolreza Kouhpayeh, got four years. All the activists were arrested in early 2018. A ninth activist who was arrested at the time, Kavous Seyed Emami, an Iranian-Canadian national, died while in custody under disputed circumstances in February 2018. His widow was then blocked from flying out of Iran but later made it out. Iran is also holding others with ties to the West, including Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe, a British-Iranian woman sentenced to five years on allegations of planning the “soft toppling” of Iran’s government while traveling in Iran with her young daughter. Iranian businessman Siamak Namazi and his 81-year-old father Baquer, a former UNICEF representative who served as governor of Iran’s oil-rich Khuzestan province under the U.S.-backed shah, are both serving 10-year prison sentences on espionage charges. Former FBI agent Robert Levinson, who vanished in Iran in 2007 while on an unauthorized CIA mission, remains missing. Earlier this month, Iran’s supreme court confirmed the death penalty for Amir Rahimpour, who

was convicted of spying for the CIA. Iranian state media have alleged that he had shared details of the Islamic Republic’s nuclear program with the American spy agency. Iran has in the past sentenced alleged American and Israeli spies to death. The last such spy executed was Shahram Amiri, who defected to the U.S. at the height of Western efforts to thwart Iran’s nuclear program. When he returned in 2010, he was welcomed with flowers by government leaders and even went on the Iranian talk-show circuit. He then mysteriously disappeared and was hanged in August 2016.

Ghani Wins Second Term It’s been four months since the polls closed, but the country’s independent election commission announced this week that Ashraf Ghani has won a second term as president of Afghanistan. The commission said Ghani garnered 923,592 votes, or 50.64%, in the election that took place last Sep-

tember 28. His main challenger, the country’s chief executive Abdullah Abdullah, received 720,841 votes, or 39.52% of the vote.

Ghani and Abdullah head a fragile national unity government that was put together under U.S. pressure after both leaders claimed victory in Afghanistan’s 2014 elections. 1.8 million Afghan citizens voted in September’s election out of some 9.6 million eligible voters. In an interview with The Associated Press before the election, former Afghan President Hamid Karzai warned that the election could be destabilizing for the country at a time of deep political uncertainty. Tuesday’s election results came days after U.S. Defense Secretary Mark Esper announced a truce agreement between the United States and the Taliban that could lead to the withdrawal of American

troops from the country. Ghani has been critical of the way U.S. envoy Zalmay Khalilzad has conducted the talks with the Taliban, complaining about being kept in the dark. He first ran for president in 2009, capturing barely a quarter of the votes. He ran again in 2014 in what was considered a deeply flawed and corrupt exercise. Ghani holds a doctorate in Anthropology from Columbia University and first went to the U.S. as a high school exchange student. Except for a brief teaching stint at Kabul University in the early 1970s, Ghani lived in the United States, where he was an academic until joining the World Bank as a senior adviser in 1991. Ghani returned to Afghanistan after 24 years when the Taliban was ousted by the U.S.-led coalition. He was head of Kabul University until he joined President Hamid Karzai’s government as finance minister. In 2010 he led the lengthy process to transfer security of the country from U.S.-led coalition forces to the Afghanistan National Security Forces, which took effect in 2014.

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Hamas Won’t Stop Terror Balloons

Contrary to reports, the Hamas terror group said that it will not be ceasing to launch booby-trapped balloons into southern Israel. While acknowledging that a “reduction” in the amount of launches was possible, a Hamas spokesperson told the Lebanese Al-Anbar newspaper that the group had no intention of ceasing it entirely. The statement came in response to reports that Hamas had agreed to halt the bal-

loons after Israel accepted all of its demands. On Thursday, a senior Israeli defense official had told the media that Hamas had “sent messages to Israel that they’d decided unilaterally to stop launching balloons and rocket fire at Israel.” For over a year, Hamas has been launching booby-trapped balloons over the border fence in an attempt to kill Israeli civilians. Attaching crude bombs to a cluster of balloons, the explosives have thankfully not killed anyone yet but have destroyed large amounts of crops due to the fires they cause. In recent weeks, the balloon launches have increased due to a breakdown in negotiations between Israel and Hamas. Coming in the runup to elections in March, the increase has led Israel to threaten Hamas that it would invade the terror-controlled Gaza Strip if the launches continue. Last week, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu told Channel 12 that Israel was gearing up for war, adding that the terror group had one last chance to avoid unnecessary bloodshed. “We are preparing a big surprise for Hamas – and if they don’t change, we’ll use it,” Netanyahu as-

serted. Earlier in the week, Netanyahu said in a cabinet meeting that Israel would soon begin targeting Hamas leaders if the balloon fires continued. “I want to make this clear: We won’t accept any aggression from Gaza. Just a few weeks ago, we took out the top commander of Islamic Jihad in Gaza, and I suggest that Islamic Jihad and Hamas refresh their memories,” the prime minister warned.

UN Publishes Settlements Blacklist

The UN Human Rights Commission released a detailed “blacklist” of 112 companies that do business with

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Israeli settlements last Wednesday. Included in the list are 94 Israeli businesses along with 18 foreign companies that are located in six other countries. Among the international companies listed are tourist giants Airbnb, TripAdvisor, and Booking.com, and the Motorola technology company. The Israeli companies on the list include the Israeli-American Gas Corporation, Bank Hapoalim, Leumi, Cellcom, YES, Delek, Paz, Dor Alon, Sonol, Israel Railways, Egged, MATRIX, Shufersal, Mekorot, and Rami Levy. While acknowledging that the aforementioned companies were not violating international law, UN officials said that the list served as a “public service” to those wishing to boycott Israeli communities in Judea and Samaria. The UN Human Rights Commission has been working for several years to formulate and publish this list, despite strong pressure by Israel’s Foreign Ministry on the international body. As part of Israel’s campaign to scuttle the list, senior officials including Prime Minister Netanyahu leaned on the U.S. to prevent the list from being compiled. Over the last

The Jewish Home | FEBRUARY 20, 2020

year, a number of U.S. congressmen and senators had responded to Israeli requests and had pressured the UN to drop the issue. However, their efforts failed, leading to the list’s publication last week. Israeli officials fumed after the report was published, noting that the UN had refused to coordinate with it and had not given the Jewish State advance notice that it would be released. “The UN Human Rights Council is a biased and non-influential body,” said Netanyahu in a statement. “In recent years, we have promoted laws in most U.S. states that must be taken firmly against anyone attempting to boycott Israel. Therefore, this body is insignificant. Instead of human rights abuses, the organization is only trying to discredit Israel.”

Germany, Austria, & Czech Republic Back Israel

Taking Israel’s side, Germany, the Czech Republic, and Austria formally told the International Criminal Court in The Hague that it has no authority to investigate Israel for war crimes. Pointing out that there is no internationally recognized State of Palestine, Germany said that the court had no mandate to open a probe in favor of a state not recognized by the UN Security Council. Asking to file an Amicus brief, the three countries want the court to first discuss if it even has jurisdiction over the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. While noting in its filing that it is “a staunch supporter of the International Criminal Court and its organs,” Germany wrote that “the scope of the Court’s territorial jurisdiction pursuant to Article 12 of the Rome Statute does not extend to the occupied Palestinian territories. “Article 12 of the Rome Statute presupposes that there is a ‘State’ that has the ability under interna-

Open House

tional law to delegate territorial jurisdiction to the Court with respect to the relevant cases,” it said. Uganda and Hungary have also signaled their willingness to file similar briefs to assist Israel before the deadline expires on Friday. Foreign Minister Yisrael Katz thanked the aforementioned countries for standing with Israel, saying that it was important for as many nations as possible to show that they opposed the war crimes probe. In a statement, Katz said that Germany, the Czech Republic, and Austria demonstrated the “clear position that international criminal law does not have the authority to discuss the issue of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. “This is a responsible position that aligns with international law LOCATION. COMMUNITY. LUXURIOUS LIFESTYLE. and prevents the court’s politicization,” he added. The ICC had announced last month that it would probe Israel for potential war crimes violations relating to 2014’s Operation Protective Edge in Gaza. The decision aroused strong opposition from Israel, which fears a biased and one-sided investigation that would lead to IDF officers being arrested in Europe. Ever since the ICC’s announcement, Israel’s Foreign Ministry had been lobbying European nations to join its efforts to drop the criminal The Residence is a new Glatt investigation. Last week, Knesset Kosher independent living Speaker MK Yuli Edelstein raised the complex for adults 55+. issue in a series of meetings in Berlin Catering to individuals looking with Germany’s president and foreign and defense ministers. to move to a magnificent “Germany is one of Israel’s most home in the heart of a important friendships. The importrenowned Jewish community. ant EU power stands alongside Israel in the face of Palestinian incitement • Continental Breakfast & and UN hypocrisy,” Edelstein told Dinner Chancellor Angela Merkel. “Israel • High-end Upscale Property will continue to fight for justice and in the heart of Lakewood will not allow Abu Mazen to continue • Concierge Service his world-wide cheating campaign.”

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IDF’s New Multi-Year Plan Defense Minister Naftali Bennett approved the IDF’s new multi-year plan last Thursday in what would see the military thoroughly beef up its ground forces. Bennett announced his approval of the new “Momentum” plan during a meeting he had with senior combat commanders. “After a thorough and in-depth

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process with the chief of staff, IDF commanders, and the defense establishment, I approved the main elements of the plan,” said Bennett. “The Momentum plan will allow the IDF to strike the enemy faster, more powerfully, with a stronger annihilation capacity, thus overcoming the enemy and bringing it to victory. The IDF is quick, strong and deadly,” he added.

First unveiled in December, the Momentum five-year plan seeks to make the IDF more lethal. According to IDF Chief of Staff Aviv Kochavi, the program would see the reserves and infantry receive new weapons and training in order to enable them to conquer land quickly in the next war. The basic premise of the plan is that Hezbollah, Hamas, and Iran have reduced the IDF’s advantage over them. As such, Kochavi wants the IDF to go on a spending spree in order bulk up on new weapons systems. Even before Momentum was announced, the IDF had spent records sums this year on night vision equipment and new anti-aircraft missiles for the regular units. Included in the plan is the establishment of a new “Iran Command” that will be tasked with leading the fight against Israel’s arch enemy. Headed by a major general, it will be Israel’s fifth such regional Command and comes amid the realization that the vast majority of the country’s threats emanate from Tehran. The Kfir infantry brigade will also be upgraded into a “maneuvering unit,” or a brigade able to penetrate into the heart of enemy territory to seize land quickly and with minimum casualties. First founded in 2005, Kfir has until now been tasked with counterterror missions in Judea and Samaria and was not slated to enter Lebanon and Gaza. With the new designation, Kfir will get the new “Eitan” armored personnel carriers (APC) and anti-tank missiles. Besides for the advanced weapons, Kfir will also be privy to an enhanced budget for training missions. “Momentum is a proper plan that

brings the IDF’s relative advantage to the point of contact with the enemy in order to injure him in a deadly and decisive manner,” said Bennett. “The plan brings the value of victory back to the top of the list.”

Israel Attempts to Curb Coronavirus

Israel announced that it would bar entry to citizens from a slew of Asian countries for the near future in order to prevent the spread of the coronavirus. In a Monday announcement, Interior Minister Aryeh Deri said that all foreign nationals hailing from Thailand, Macau, Singapore, and Hong Kong will be forbidden from entering Israel for the time being. The ban also applies to non-Israeli citizens who visited the aforementioned countries within the previous two weeks. The new directive was signed by the Population and Immigration Authority’s director-general and is expected to take effect over the next few days. It will prevent entry at Israel’s two international airports, its land border crossings, and its ports. It will also apply to tourists on stopovers, leading Hong Kong’s Cathay Pacific airline to suspend all of its flights to Tel Aviv. The decision came after Health Minister Yaakov Litzman ordered that all Israelis who were in China, Thailand, Singapore, and Macau within the past month must self-quarantine for a period up to 14 days. Restrictions include “not staying in public places, including educational institutions, workplaces, public transport, recreation and shopping, hospitals and clinics.” Deri’s move to ban foreign nationals from the aforementioned countries was harshly criticized by the Foreign Ministry. Warning that the decision would result in significant diplomatic fallout, Foreign Ministry officials pointed out that the mea-

The Jewish Home | FEBRUARY 20, 2020

FEBRUARY 20, 2020 | The Jewish Home

sures are far more draconian than those implemented in the EU and the United States. “The Health Ministry is causing unprecedented diplomatic damage,” one official told Ynet. “Israel is the first country to take such a step.” Officially known as the COVID-19, the coronavirus has infected almost 75,000 people and has killed 1,700 people since it was discovered last month in China. Despite intensive efforts, no cure has yet to be found for the highly contagious disease.

Palestinian Mayor Forced to Resign for “Collaboration” Hamdallah Hamdallah, the mayor of the Palestinian town of Anabta, was forced to resign after attending a conference supporting President Donald Trump’s new peace plan. Hamdallah, the longtime mayor of the Samarian city, had spoken at the Tel Aviv event devoted to Trump’s “Deal of the Century” along with for-

mer senior Palestinian officials. Titled “Yes to peace, no to annexation,” attendees discussed various ways that the Israeli-Palestinian conflict could be resolved.

After the speech, Hamdallah was hit with a massive online backlash after Israeli media reports outed him as the event’s speaker. Accusing the mayor of “treason” and “collaborating with the enemy” for attending the conference, Hamdallah was forced to resign his position after getting death threats from his constituents. Addressing his townspeople in a Facebook post, Hamdallah said that he had attended with approval of the Palestinian Authority. “Because I am the son of this beautiful country, which I love from the bottom of the heart… I leave it to the people of my town to choose someone else to lead the municipality,” he wrote. “I am

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found out that he was working for the U.S. and imprisoned him for a few months in 2011, agreeing to release him on the condition that he would become a double agent. Fearing for his life, he fled to Turkey. There, he was contacted by Mossad operatives, who used him to put them in contact with other potential recruits. The decision to help the hated Israelis didn’t come easy to him. “I was afraid of contacting the Mossad because I thought then that the Mossad – they use you and then they kill you. That’s what you used to hear in Lebanon,” he recalled. According to Phillips, he played a key role in helping the Mossad recruit a former member of Hezbollah’s elite Radwan Unit. His assistance gave the Mossad an unprecedented look at Hezbollah’s elite commandos, who are training to conquer large parts of northern Israel in the next round of hostilities. Despite his alleged success, Phillips’ relationship with his Mossad handlers soon soured. Fearing that he would be arrested by Hezbollah, Phillips refused the Mossad’s entreaties to return to Lebanon to continue spying. After confessing to his handlers that he had purposely withheld from them the fact that he had A Lebanese citizen who once spied already served a prison sentence in for the Mossad intelligence agency is Lebanon, they cut off all contact. now publicly imploring the country A year later, Phillips’ nightmare he helped to prevent him from being came true after Switzerland deportforcibly returned to Lebanon. ed him back to Lebanon. Fearing that Meet “Benjamin Phillips.” This Hezbollah agents would arrest him, is not his real name. Despite ask- Phillips attempted to contact the ing the Times of Israel to expose his Mossad by messaging the agency on true identity, the magazine was le- its website. However, he was caught gally barred by the IDF censor from in the act by Hezbollah officers and publishing his true name. Born to was sentenced to two years in prison. Lebanese parents, Phillips is flu“I went to an internet cafe and I ent in Arabic, English, and French did the most stupid thing ever — I and is described as “short and wiry, was afraid and I opened the Mossad with striking bright blue-green eyes, website and I messaged them: ‘I’m a meticulously sculpted beard and in Lebanon and I might be arrested. dangling earrings.” Please help me. At least let me jump Having grown up in the Hezbol- over the border,’” recalled Phillips. lah stronghold of Nabatiyeh, Phillips “While I was writing the message, told the Times of Israel that his path they arrested me.” to becoming a Mossad spy began afAfter his release, Phillips moved ter he ran afoul of the terror group. to Dubai and reestablished contact As punishment for reporting on Hez- with the former commando he had bollah voting fraud he witnessed in recruited in Hezbollah’s Radwan 2009, he was blackmailed, humiliat- Unit. After hearing that he was intered, and harassed by Hezbollah activ- ested in providing Israel with intelists, leading him to offer his services ligence about the special operations to the CIA. unit, the Mossad began working with “When this happened, I decided Phillips anew. — this is a war, literally a war. And But the relationship didn’t last. those people, I want to make them A little while later, the Radwan pay for everything they did,” said commando was caught along with a Phillips. However, Hezbollah quickly special communications device the tired, not from work but from quarrels and nonsense, and I am leaving this burden for anyone who can carry it.” Other members of the delegation also took to social media to defend themselves, writing that they had had participated with the PA’s approval – and that the Israeli members who participated in it, like them, were opposed to President Trump’s peace program. Trump’s “Deal of the Century” has been met with broad Palestinian opposition ever since it was unveiled in late January. Contending that it “abandoned our righteous and just cause,” PA President Mahmoud Abbas said in a charged speech before the Arab League that “my people will never willingly agree to this humiliation.”

Former Spy Asks for Israel’s Help

The Jewish Home | FEBRUARY 20, 2020

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Mossad had given him. The device also incriminated Phillips in the operation, causing Hezbollah to issue a warrant for his arrest. Now, Phillips fears for his life and is unable to return to Lebanon. Denied asylum status by multiple countries, he reached out to the Times of Israel to tell his story in the hope that the publicity will pressure Israel into granting him a visa. “If I go back to Lebanon, they’ll use it against Israel. I came to work with the Mossad because I believe in peace and love and living together for a prosperous future as neighbors. I love Israel and I have been fighting for peace my whole life,” he said. “Regardless of how things end, I do feel proud. I feel proud that I am from a country where I could have been a terrorist, where I could have been a member of Hezbollah, but I chose not to be part of this…terrorist organization,” said Phillips. “I’m not a killer; I’m not a terrorist.”

showed that increasing exercise past a certain point does not correlate with increasing levels of happiness. The strongest effects were found by those who exercised three times a week for half an hour to an hour at a time. “Depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide, and there is an urgent need to find ways to improve mental health through population health campaigns,” noted Adam Chekroud, PhD, Assistant Professor of Psychiatry, Chief Scientist at Spring Health, USA, and the study’s senior author. “Exercise is associated with a lower mental health burden across people no matter their age, race, gender, household income, and education level. Excitingly, the specifics of the regime, like the type, duration, and frequency, played an important role in this association. “We are now using this to try and personalize exercise recommendations and match people with a specific exercise regime that helps improve their mental health.”

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Justice Dept Won’t Charge Andrew McCabe

The Justice Department announced last week that it wouldn’t charge former acting FBI Director Andrew McCabe for lying to investigators about his chronic media leaks. A White House official reported that President Trump was upset that he had not been given a heads-up regarding this decision. Trump frequently attacked McCabe in the past for his role in creating the Russia collusion story and has publicly expressed his desire to see him behind bars. McCabe, a senior official, had ordered the FBI to begin investigating President Trump for possible obstruction of justice surrounding allegations that the administration had coordinated with Russia to influence the 2016 election. McCabe had authorized two FBI officials to speak for a

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FEBRUARY 20, 2020 | The Jewish Home

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Wall Street Journal report detailing tension inside the FBI and the Justice Department over the Clinton email case and a separate investigation of the Clinton Family Foundation. Later, McCabe denied having done so when FBI officials and the inspector general’s office tried determining who might have spoken to the media. The inspector general accused McCabe of lying at least four times, three of which were under oath. McCabe took over as acting chief of the FBI after Trump fired James Comey from

the position in May 2017. Trump’s public attacks on McCabe were considered by many as an attempt to politicize the Justice Department and seek the prosecution of someone viewed by the president as a political foe. Trump has denied these claims, though he has tweeted frequently about the former law enforcement official, calling the day McCabe was fired a “great day for democracy.” The ruling could increase tensions between Trump and his Justice Department, particularly Attorney Gen-

eral William P. Barr, who has publicly rebuked the president for tweeting about Justice Department criminal cases.

New Rules at MLB With spring training almost here, Major League Baseball recently rolled out a series of new rule changes.

As of March 12, all baseball teams will now be allowed to add one player on their full-time rosters to cap out teams at 26 players. However, rosters in September will now be capped at 28 players, substantially less than the 40 that had previously been permitted.

As expected, the MLB announced that it would implement the “three batter rule.” This mandates that every pitcher face at least three batters, ending the phenomenon of lefty specialists brought out of the bullpen to get one last out. In addition, teams are now allowed to have “two way players,” or people who can both serve as a designated hitter and play a position. The rule was implemented in order to stop the spate of positions players taking the mound last season in blowout games in order to avoid using the bullpen. Now, every player must be designated either as a position player or a pitcher, with only those sporting the “two way player” tag allowed to take the mound. As a result, those not designated as such are forbidden from pitching in games that have not yet gone into extra innings. Other changes include limiting the disabled list (DL) to only 10 days as opposed to the previous 15, and limiting the time managers can challenge plays to 20 seconds from the previous 30. In what many say was a surprise, MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred decided not to ban defensive shifts. MLB executives had wanted to ban the shifts, arguing that they kept scoring down and kept fans away from the ballpark.

Foreign Funding at Harvard & Yale The Department of Education is probing Harvard and Yale regarding their sources of foreign funding, the Wall Street Journal reports. The probe comes amid suspicions that the top U.S. universities have failed to report at least $6.5 billion in funding from countries such as Saudi

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U Q I T U O B N O I H S A

Furthermore, while the department said it has found foreign money generally flows to the country’s richest universities, “such money apparently does not reduce or otherwise offset American students’ tuition costs.” For decades, universities have been required to disclose all gifts and contracts from foreign sources that are worth $250,000 per calendar year (either alone or combined), but only recently has the department begun to enforce this strongly. According to the document, officials accused universities of actively soliciting money from governments and foreign companies known to be hostile to the U.S. and potentially looking for opportunities to steal research and “spread propaganda benefitting foreign governments.”

Trump administration officials and a bipartisan group of allies in Congress have expressed concern that China, among other foreign rivals, use these donations to gain access to scientific knowledge which allows them to achieve national strategic goals and bridge their economic or military gaps with the U.S. These national security concerns have been dismissed by some university officials as unnecessary or even discriminatory, claiming that there is no need to restrict unclassified research that will be published in any event. Officials have also expressed that collaboration with other countries, especially China, is essential for the advancement of scientific discoveries. Last month, the chairman of Harvard’s chemistry department was arrested on federal charges of lying about receiving millions of dollars in Chinese funding through the Thousand Talents Plan recruitment program, while the U.S. shelled out more than $15 million to fund his research group. Yale, meanwhile, had allegedly failed to disclose at least $375 million in foreign funding after filing no reports from 2014-17. If the schools refuse to disclose the relevant information, the Education Department can refer the matter to the Justice Department, which could pursue civil or criminal actions. A February 2019 investigation by the Senate Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations called foreign government funding of American universities a “black hole” and said it found that nearly 70% failed to properly report funding from Chinese government-backed cultural and language programs known as Confucius Institutes.

Arabia and China. Federal officials, including the National Institutes of Health and Law Enforcement, have expressed concerns over the reliance of U.S. higher education on foreign money, particularly from China. According to the Journal, the Education Department described U.S. universities as “multi-billion-dollar, multi-national enterprises using opaque foundations, foreign campuses, and other sophisticated legal structures to generate revenue.”

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Hair Discrimination Ban

In the span of one week, three states around the nation introduced or advanced bills that would ban hair discrimination based on hair texture or style. The bills fall under the “CROWN Act,” or “Creating a Respectful and Open World for Natural Hair.” Colorado, Washington, and Minnesota all jumped last week on the CROWN bandwagon, which is already law in New York, New Jersey, and California. At least 22 additional states are considering the legislation, and local jurisdictions like Cincinnati, Ohio, and Montgomery County, Maryland, have passed it as well. After 18-year-old Texan student Deandre Arnold was told he wouldn’t be able to walk down the aisle at his own graduation if he did not cut his

dreadlocks, lawmakers in the state announced their intention to consider the issue as well. Members of the state’s Legislative Black Caucus announced that they were working on a bill for the 2021 legislative session. The activity comes on the heels of the Oscar-willing short film “Hair Love,” in which a black father tries to style his daughter’s hair. In his acceptance speech, director Matthew A. Cherry pushed for the CROWN Act to be passed around the nation. “‘Hair Love’ was done because we wanted to see more representation in animation – we wanted to normalize black hair and there’s a very important issue out there, the CROWN Act. If we can help get this passed in all 50 states it will help stories like Deandre Arnold’s...stop to happen,” Cherry said.

Pompeo “Outraged” at UN Settlement Blacklist U.S. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo spoke out last week follow-

ing the UN blacklist of companies that do business in Israeli settlements in the West Bank.

In a statement released by the State Department, Pompeo expressed that the publication “only confirms the unrelenting anti-Israel bias so prevalent at the United Nations.” “I am outraged that High Commissioner for Human Rights Michelle Bachelet published a database of companies operating in Israeli-controlled territories,” Pompeo added. “The United States has long opposed the creation or release of this database, which was mandated by the discredited UN Human Rights Council in 2016.” Last Wednesday, the UN High Commissioner for Human Rights unexpectedly published a list of 112 companies that conduct business in Israeli settlements. Of the 112, ninety-four are Israeli companies, with the remaining 18 foreign companies are based in the U.S., Netherlands, the UK, France, Luxembourg, and Thailand. The foreign companies include Motorola, Airbnb, Trip Advisor, Expedia and General Mills (all from the U.S.), Alstom (from France), and Greenkote (from the UK). Pompeo stated that the U.S. “has not provided, and will never provide, any information to the Office of the High Commissioner to support compilation of these lists and expresses support for U.S. companies referenced,” adding that America would not cooperate with these attempts at “isolating Israel.” “We call upon all UN member states to join us in rejecting this effort, which facilitates the discriminatory boycott, divestment, and sanction (BDS) campaign and delegitimizes Israel,” he said. “Attempts to isolate Israel run counter to all of our efforts to build conditions conducive to Israeli-Palestinian negotiations that lead to a comprehensive and enduring peace.” U.S. Ambassador to Israel David Friedman tweeted that the list marked “yet another stain on the already blemished record of the United

Nations’ reflexive bias against Israel. Commissioner Bachelet, if your focus is truly advancing human rights, you have gotten this exactly wrong!” In March 2016, the UN Human Rights Council in Geneva passed a resolution for the compilation of a database listing “activities that raised particular human rights concerns” in the Palestinian territories. These activities were defined as providing material and services that would support the expansion of, or help “maintain,” Israeli settlements. After years of trying to block the list, amongst other activities, the U.S. left the Council in June 2018, citing its “chronic bias against Israel.” According to Israeli officials, Bachelet has consistently refused to meet to discuss the blacklist. Israel had only been given a one-hour warning before the document was published. Israel’s Foreign Ministry said last Wednesday it was suspending its ties with the High Commissioner for Human Rights, though it was not immediately clear what practical implications the decision would have. “Boycotting Israeli companies does not advance the cause of peace and does not build confidence between the sides. We call on our friends around the world to speak out against this shameful initiative which reminds us of dark periods in our history,” said Israeli President Reuven Rivlin.

McClatchy Files for Bankruptcy

The Sacramento-based McClatchy newspaper chain, which owns publications including the Miami Herald, the Kansas City Star, the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, and the Charlotte Observer, filed for bankruptcy last Thursday. The news came amid a pension crisis as well as the decline of print newspapers, following the McClatchy family’s control of the company for over 160 years. As part of the filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy, the company proposed a deal in which it would transfer ownership to its

The Jewish Home | FEBRUARY 20, 2020

Ice volcanoes erupted on a beach in Michigan on Sunday

largest shareholder, hedge fund Chatham Asset Management, and other lenders. Chapter 11 is a form of bankruptcy which involves a reorganization of debts and assets in order to allow a corporation the ability to restructure its debts and to grant the debtor a fresh start. “McClatchy remains a strong operating company with an enduring commitment to independent journalism that spans five generations of my family,’’ said Kevin McClatchy, chairman of McClatchy’s Board of Directors. He is also the great-grandson of the company’s founder, James McClatchy. “This restructuring is a necessary and positive step forward for the business, and the entire Board of Directors has made great efforts to ensure the company is able to operate as usual throughout this process,” he said. According to the company, it expects to transfer management of its $1.4 billion pension plan to the U.S. government’s Pension Benefit Guaranty Corp, as the cost of said pension plan had weighed McClatchy down in recent years. The company’s story begins with James McClatchy, an Irish immigrant who arrived in New York in 1841 at 16. He found work at the New York Tribune and later heeded his boss Horace Greeley’s legendary advice: “Go West, young man.” McClatchy moved to California during the first year of the Gold Rush in 1849 as a correspondent for the Tribune but soon went to work for two competing Sacramento papers, the Placer Times and the Transcript. By

then, so many newspapers had come and gone in Sacramento’s early days that the city was known as “the graveyard of newspapers.” Seven years later, McClatchy helped start a six-day-a-week paper called The Daily Bee. It was four pages and cost 25 cents for a week’s subscription. Although McClatchy was initially an editor, not an owner, the company dates its origins to the February 3, 1857 publication. James McClatchy died of a stroke in 1883 and bequeathed his ownership to his sons, Valentine and Charles Kenny “C.K.” McClatchy. Along with shares owned by his widow, the surviving McClatchys were in firm control of The Bee. The Bee became known as a fearless, crusading newspaper, picking fights with judges, governors and others as it built its subscriber base across Northern California. But it wasn’t until the 1920s, under the direction of C.K.’s son, Carlos McClatchy, that the company began to expand. In 1922, the company launched The Fresno Bee. Five years later the family bought the Modesto News-Herald and renamed it The Modesto Bee. The family jumped into radio in the Central Valley and Northern Nevada, and later founded KOVR-TV in Sacramento and KMJTV in Fresno. When Carlos died in 1933, control passed to his sister, Eleanor, an aspiring playwright with scant experience in the publishing business. Along with editor Walter Jones, she ran what became known as McClatchy Newspapers for more than 30 years.

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Threatening the company only a few days before it released its quarterly earnings report, Avenatti told Nike executives that his claims had the ability to wipe “tens of billions” off its stock value. Rather than succumb to his strongarm tactics, Nike alerted the FBI, which arrested the loudmouthed attorney the following day.

According to prosecutors, Avenatti had concocted the scheme in order to repay an $11 million debt he had incurred. “You guys know enough now to know you’ve got a serious problem,” Avenatti had told Nike lawyers. “And it’s worth more in exposure to me to just blow the lid on this thing. A few million dollars doesn’t move the needle for me.”

Is Mike Buying an Election?

Avenatti Guilty for Extorting Nike Michael Avenatti, a hot-shot lawyer once spoken of as a presidential contender, was found guilty of attempting to extort $25 million from the Nike sportswear giant. A Manhattan federal court found the attorney guilty of all three extor-

tion charges. Avenatti still faces another two pending cases in which he stands accused of embezzling millions of dollars from clients. “I think he’s in a bit of a state of shock,” Avenatti’s attorney Danya Perry said after the trial. “But he’s a fighter, as you all know, and he’s staying strong.” First becoming famous for representing a woman in her lawsuit against President Trump, Avenatti became a media darling for his out-

spoken attacks against the president. Announcing that he would run for president in 2020, Avenatti became a frequent guest on some of America’s top television programs. However, it all came crashing down after the 48-year-old was arrested last March for attempting to shake down Nike. Avenatti had threatened to publicly accuse the sneaker giant of illegally bribing amateur athletes and their families unless the apparel giant gave him millions of dollars.

Democratic presidential candidate and former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg has ramped up spending ahead of Super Tuesday, slapping down $124 million on advertising throughout the more-than-adozen states. The eye-dropping sum is more than 10 times what his rivals have spent, signaling Bloomberg’s willingness to use his personal wealth to win the Democratic nomination. The only other presidential candidate to advertise thus far across most of these states is Bernie Sanders, who has spent under $10 million in advertisements. Bloomberg is the sole Democrat to have devoted most of his travel over the past three months to these particular states. There will be 1,357 pledged delegates up for grabs on March 3, and 1,991 are required to

The Jewish Home | FEBRUARY 20, 2020

FEBRUARY 20, 2020 | The Jewish Home

gain the nomination. Alan Abramowitz, a political scientist at Emory University in Georgia, stated that it was “very significant” for Bloomberg to rely so strongly on Super Tuesday. “It’s going to really reshuffle the race,” Abramowitz predicted. Bloomberg presently ranks behind Sanders and ahead of former Vice President Joe Biden, Sen. Elizabeth Warren and former Mayor Pete Buttigieg, according to recent polls. In an interview that aired Sunday on NBC’s “Meet the Press,” Biden attacked Bloomberg for defending police stop-and-frisk tactics during his 12 years as mayor. Bloomberg’s $60-billion worth “can buy you a lot of advertising, but it can’t erase your record,” said Biden. Bloomberg had previously apologized for stop-and-frisk policies in November, a week before launching his presidential campaign and six years after the policy was determined by a federal court of violating the rights of African-Americans and Latinos. In his advertisements, Bloomberg often stresses his record fighting gun violence and climate change and claims that he is the single Democrat best suited to unseat President Trump. Some of his opponents, meanwhile, tend to focus on their own grass-roots following. “Democracy to me means one person, one vote — not Bloomberg or anyone else spending hundreds of millions of dollars trying to buy an election,” Sanders told 11,000 supporters at a Denver rally on Sunday night. Super Tuesday is the election day early in a presidential primary season when the greatest number of states hold primary elections and caucuses. This year it will take place on March 3. Participating states in 2020 include Alabama, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Maine, Massachusetts, Minnesota, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, and Virginia.

Boy Scouts File for Bankruptcy The Boy Scouts of America filed for bankruptcy this week. The organization celebrated its 110th anniversary on February 8. It listed liabilities of between $100 million and $500 million and estimated assets of $1 billion

to $10 billion. The group faces hundreds of lawsuits surrounding abuse against its young members. As a result of the filing, all civil litigation against the organization is suspended.

“We believe victims, we support them, we pay for counseling by a provider of their choice and we encourage them to come forward. It is the Boy Scouts of America (BSA) policy that all incidents of suspected abuse are reported to law enforcement,” the organization said. Last April, court testimony showed that the organization believed more than 7,800 of its former leaders were involved in abusing more than 12,000 children over the course of 72 years. Michael Pfau, a Seattle-based attorney whose firm represents 300 alleged victims across the country, said the bankruptcy claims process will be decidedly different for those suffering due to the Boy Scouts of America’s alleged inaction. “They won’t have to give depositions involving their life history. Their lives won’t be scrutinized, but they lose their right to a jury trial. For a lot of abuse survivors, telling their story in a court of law and forcing the organizations to defend their actions can be cathartic. That won’t happen with a bankruptcy,” Pfau said. In an open letter to victims, Jim Turley, the national chairman of the Boy Scouts of America, wrote that the organization entered into bankruptcy to make sure it is able to equitably compensate all the victims of abuse. “The BSA cannot undo what happened to you, but we are committed to supporting you and to doing everything in our power to prevent it from happening to others,” Turley wrote. The letter goes on to say that “the national organization of the Boy Scouts of America has initiated a voluntary financial restructuring to ensure we can equitably compensate all victims of past abuse in our programs, through a proposed Victim’s Compensation Trust. I encourage you and all victims to come forward and file claims so you can receive compensation from this Trust. We will provide clear notices about how to do so.”

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Chicken Crocs

It’s not an insult to say that someone’s feet smell like chicken. Recently, Crocs and KFC joined forces to create the KFC X Crocs Bucket Clog, a limited-edition shoe covered in a fried chicken print. “Combining the unmistakable look of our world-famous fried chicken and signature KFC bucket, with the unparalleled comfort and style of Crocs, these shoes are what fried chicken footwear dreams are made of,” KFC CMO Andrea Zahumensky said in a news release. Crocs CMO Terence Reilly added they were “thrilled with this ‘bucket list’ partnership with Kentucky

Fried Chicken that will bring fans an unbelievably fun and fashionable take on our classic clog.” The uniquely designed shoe has the iconic KFC red-striped bucket on the base of the Croc and comes with two attachable charms that could easily be mistaken for the real deal – they look and smell like fried chicken. The fried footwear will be available in the spring. Talk about taking a walk on the wild side.

Worst. Date. Ever. If you thought that sipping a Diet Coke in the lobby of a hotel could be painful if you’re with the wrong person on a date, then you can feel a small piece of this woman’s pain. A woman from Massachusetts became involved in a robbery when she went out on a date with Christopher Castillo. Even more than that, this woman became his getaway driver when he robbed a bank. She had picked up Castillo from his parents’ home in Rhode Island and then drove toward Massachu-

setts. During the drive, Castillo was drinking wine and probably was slightly drunk. As they neared their destination, he asked her to pull over in front of a bank. Not thinking anything of it, she did. Castillo came back a few minutes later, sweating and wearing sunglasses and a hat, and holding a gun with $1,000 in hand. He urged her to start to drive. Panicked, the woman started driving but then pulled over and walked away from the car when police drove behind her. Police arrested Castillo and found the hat, sunglasses, and gun in the woman’s car. The $1,000 was neatly tucked into his wallet. Although this took place in 2016, Castillo was sentenced to three years in prison this week for the heist. As for this woman? Well, she is probably staying away from dating for a while – or at least staying out of the driver’s seat.

Music Mix-Up

I may be giving away my age but a long, long, long time ago, there were no CDs. There were no MP3s. There were no – gasp! – iPhones. If you wanted to listen to music, you had to get ahold of a tape recorder and purchase a cassette tape, upon which the music was played. This week, Stella Wedell from Sweden was reunited with a longlost cassette tape that she played in her youth. While visiting an art gallery in Stockholm, Wedell noticed the tape, a “mix tape” compilation of several of her songs, along with a track list on the gallery walls. The cassette was part of an exhibition entitled Sea of Artifacts, which was produced by Mandy Barker, who wants to raise awareness of plastic pollution. The tape had washed up on the beach of a Spanish island off the coast of Africa three years ago. It turns out that Wedell had lost the cassette tape in the early 1990s

while vacationing with her family in Spain. The tape had made a journey of more than 1,000 miles before it was picked up by the artist. “I always made tapes from my CDs at in this time to listen to them with my Walkman, especially for holidays, and to think that a tape I could have lost more than 20 years ago had been found was incredible,” Wedell said. The tape will be returned to Wedell once the art exhibit is complete. And that must be music to her ears.

$100,000 to Park

San Francisco real estate is booming. When we say “booming,” we really mean that the prices there are so over-the-top that you can hear a sonic boom every time another property is purchased. According to Zillow, the median price there for a home is $1.3 million. Need something a little more affordable? Well, if you live out of your car, you can nab a parking spot for a mere $100,000. Parking spot No. 140, located in a luxury condominium complex at 88 Townsend (where a one-bedroom is listed for $849,000) near Oracle Park, even has its own real-estate agent: Bill Williams. Williams says that it’s a safe place to “park your money.” He notes, “When you buy any asset and you have it, it’s not like you spent the money. You can turn around and sell it again. You could leave [$100,000] in your bank account and you might see the same return, but you wouldn’t have a parking spot.” OK, so we should shell out six figures so our car can sleep cozy at night. Think that San Fran is out of your budget? Consider that, back in 2012, a spot at 66 E. 11th St. in Manhattan hit the market asking $1 million. Hasn’t anyone heard of Uber?

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Too Many Twins A Sri Lankan attempt to set a world record for the largest gathering of twins may have failed on Monday – when too many people came to participate in the stunt. Organizers from the Sri Lanka Twins group had called on multiples across the island to pack a sports stadium in the capital of Colombo to try to break Taiwan’s Guinness

by the guidelines, she added. “We will know in two weeks if we actually qualified for the record or not, but even otherwise, we have managed to raise awareness,” she said.

World Record set in 1999 of 3,961 pairs of twins, 37 sets of triplets, and four sets of quadruplets. But a bigger than expected crowd flocked to the stadium, with a long registration line snaking around the arena as birth certificates were checked and participants posed for photographs. The huge turnout meant they were unable to meet strict guidelines set by Guinness World Records. “We had more than we expect-

ed. Getting them all to go through a single entry point was not easy,” Sri Lanka Twins spokeswoman Wasana Ranasinghe noted. A mother of twin girls aged 10, Ranasinghe said just over 6,000 pairs – ranging from ages of three months to 89 years – had been registered during a five-hour period. However, not all of them remained at the stadium to pose for a mandatory group photo or waited for at least five minutes, as required

Looking for a novel way to propose to his fiancée, a Russian soldier had fellow officers maneuver 16 tanks around them in a heart shape as he got down on one knee. The over-the-top gesture was published by the defense ministry on Friday. As snow fell, the T-72B3 tanks rolled into position on the Alabino training ground outside Moscow. Lieutenant Denis Kazantsev led Alexandra Kopytova into the center as she held her hands over her eyes. Kazantsev, a platoon commander, then went down on bended knee, holding a bunch of red roses. “We’ve been together a very long time. We’ve stood the test of time and distance. Marry me!” he said as his girlfriend nodded silently. He then put a ring on her finger. “I still don’t understand what’s going on,” Kopytova told a television reporter at the scene. “It’s very unexpected.” “No one has ever seen such a large-scale proposal,” a Russian reporter said. Let’s hope that this relationship doesn’t tank.

The Jewish Home | FEBRUARY 20, 2020

FEBRUARY 20, 2020 | The Jewish Home

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ast week, the entire student body at Mesivta Ateres Yaakov embarked on their annual mid-winter retreat. Organized by Student Activities Coordinators Rab-

bi Shlomo Drebin and Rabbi Yitzy Kohn, talmidim, together with their rabbeim, spent an amazing day at Mountain Creek Ski Resort. The day began with divrei Torah

from senior rebbe Rabbi Yonason Sprung, who highlighted aspects of the importance of tefillah. His divrei his’orirus resonated with the talmidim throughout the trip. Talmidim were joined by rabbeim on the slopes, skiing and snowboarding throughout the afternoon, breaking only for lunch, Mincha, and learning. As is traditional, the entire Yeshiva was mekabel a specific limud to complete throughout the trip. The limud for the day was learning Mishnayos Seder Mo’ed which culminated in a beautiful siyum at the end of the day. Many boys opted to utilize bus travel time to learn with a chavrusa, while others

spent some lodge-break time learning with their rabbeim. “The trip accomplishes three things,” commented S’gan Menahel Rabbi Yossi Bennett. “It serves as a battery-recharge during a long winter z’man, an opportunity to concretize relationships with friends and rabbeim outside of the yeshiva’s walls, and a way to apply the growth and learning in which our talmidim engage on a daily basis in real-world situations.” The day’s events closed with a delicious dinner catered by Dougie’s at the Moriah School in Englewood, NJ, and a digital slideshow of pictures from the day’s events.

The Jewish Home | FEBRUARY 20, 2020

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Around the Community PHOTO BY GABE SOLOMON

Mazal tov to Ezra Englander and his entire family on the occasion of his bar mitzvah

HALB learned about Tu B’Shvat by planting

Encountering the KKK

By Matthew Mizrahi

hen thinking of members of the KKK or neo-Nazis, we cannot help but think of extremists who should just be left alone and not spoken to. At HAFTR High School this past Friday, we had the privilege of hearing from Mr. TM Garret, a former white supremacist and German KKK member who decided to walk away. Mr. Garret is now a human rights activist based in Memphis, TN. In his speech, we learned the truth of how people get drawn into these movements and the best practices to confront them. Mr. Garret began by describing how the KKK appealed to him: Born in Mosbach, Germany, he felt unloved by his family and was bullied at school. In search of validation, Garret felt accepted only when he made insensitive jokes about the Holocaust – which he admits were

naive at best. One day, when a student handed him a cassette of what Garret described as “hate music,” he rallied to the cause. Garret joined the group whose music he had listened to because he felt that they, like him, had been rejected and cast off; he identified with the group’s ethos and sought to benefit from a new support network. When Garret started writing his own hate music, the group gave him positive reinforcement, whereas his own family had never supported and had barely tolerated his interest in music. Throughout his speech, Garret highlighted the fact that once you get involved in these groups, you inhabit a bubble in which you talk only to other hate-filled people. Those outside the group don’t seem to understand you, and you become reliant on your new allies for financial stability and even sustenance, as

you may make a living through the group’s connections. Garret admitted that all along he had harbored doubts, and yet he chose to ignore them in favor of a KKK movement that had offered him identity and belonging. Garret then described what made him step back from white supremacist movement. At first the law threatened him, and he did not want to go to jail. Shortly after, Garret and his family had to live in in the same house as a Muslim, which he despised as per his KKK indoctrination. Garret tried to unmask the Muslim’s kindness to confirm his own Islamophobia and was ultimately unsuccessful. This episode made Garret realize how his views were wrong-headed and how his earlier misgivings had in fact been justified. Garret soon confirmed other unfounded biases he had against other groups, like people of color and Jews, whom he had

always been taught to hate. Garret summed up his message by saying that he joined skinhead bands and the KKK because of a lack of compassion, but it was compassion that redeemed him. The takeaway was to treat people with kindness, as ostracizing groups serves no inherent purpose. He encouraged us to show all people respect and to view others as human, just as we are. While this is great advice when coming up against hate groups, in our diverse American landscape it is also instructive for our everyday encounters with people of differing views, belief systems, and values. We thank TM Garret for giving HAFTR High School students a chance to see bias, and redemption firsthand. Matthew Mizrahi is a junior at HAFTR High School.

The Jewish Home | FEBRUARY 20, 2020

Around the Community

Math is Delicious

he Bais Yaakov of Queens sixth grade is learning about a topic close to many of our hearts – chocolate (okay, also about percents…). When Mrs. Lindell inquired as to who likes chocolate, many girls said they did. On a quest to prove that they really do like chocolate (Mrs. Lindell claims not to believe them), they sampled 100% chocolate (VERY bitter), 85% chocolate, 55% chocolate, and milk chocolate with 38% cocoa solids (absolutely DELISH). The students learned a lot about chocolate, percents, and read-

ing ingredients. Whether or not they like chocolate or sugar (or sugar-flavored chocolate or chocolate-flavored sugar) is still up for debate. “I learned that percents really matter and that 100% isn’t always good!” – Shalva Kobre “The lower percentage of chocolate the bar has, the sweeter it is.” – Phoebe Epstein “If it is 85% chocolate, there is 15% of other ingredients (probably all sugar)… Chocolate is bitter because of the cocoa, but when you add sugar it tastes sweet!” – Yael Miller

Central Competes at Model UN

entral’s Model UN Team, chaperoned by history teacher Dr. Katina Manko and captained by seniors Meirav Grajower and Hannah Hamerman, returned from the Yeshiva University National Model UN Conference this week. The annual conference was held in Stamford, Connecticut, and included 48 yeshiva high schools and over 400 participants from around the world. The conference was run by YU students, a number of whom are Central

alumnae including Secretary General Moriyah Schick (‘16). The high school students participated in various UN committees, including the security committee, environmental committee, education committee, and others. Congratulations to sophomore Tamar Weiss, who received an honorable mention for her work on the space exploration committee, and congratulations to the entire team on their work and sportsmanship!

FEBRUARY 20, 2020 | The Jewish Home

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A Weekend of Achdut

Marathon Mom Beatie Deutsch Speaks at SKA

Mrs. Esther Goldfeder, Mrs. Beatie Deutsch, and Mrs. Helene Myers

he HAFTR HS girls spent a beautiful weekend in Connecticut filled with achdut, ruach, and inspiration on the 2020 Girls Shabbaton. The theme of the Shabbaton was “taking a leap of faith: let’s make waves.” The weekend started with activities on Friday, including a visit to Jumpz/Thrillz, a trampoline and high-flying adventure facility. The meaningful Shabbat was filled with thought provoking divrei Torah, inspiring presentations on spirituality and personal growth, de-

S licious meals, singing, and learning. The girls were honored to have inspirational speaker Allison Josephs, “Jew in the City,” join them for Shabbat and had the opportunity to hear her speak. The fun didn’t end on Motzei Shabbat, as the busses departed to ice skating at Danbury Ice Arena. The Shabbaton was a wonderful opportunity for the girls to bond with classmates, schoolmates, and teachers, while gaining inspiration and spirituality from the programming.

KA students were honored to hear from Mrs. Beatie Deutsch, Israel’s National Championship Runner in the Marathon and Half-Marathon, on Tuesday, February 11. This event was sponsored by SKA’s Athletic Department. This New Jersey native and mother of five children won the 2019 and 2020 Tiberias Marathons and has run in other marathons throughout the world – wearing a skirt! Beatie also just won the Miami half-marathon. Mrs. Deutsch is running to raise awareness and funds for Beit Daniella, a rehab facility for adolescents suffering from eating disorders. In her powerful address to the

SKA students, Mrs. Deutsch stressed the importance of believing in yourself and stretching to achieve the most you can. She shared her story of how she began running as a young mother who just wanted to get in shape and gradually trained to become the marathoner she is, stressing her connection with Hashem and His help in her success. Mrs. Deutsch is now in training to represent Israel in the 2020 Tokyo Olympics. Thanks go to Rabbi Yosef Zakutinsky, SKA Director of Student Programs, and Mrs. Helen Myers, SKA Athletic Director, and Mrs. Esther Goldfeder, Physical Ed faculty member and coach, for arranging this special presentation.

Sen. Kaminsky Calls for Yeshivas and Shuls to Get Additional Security Funding

ew York State Senator Todd Kaminsky urged NYS Division of Criminal Justice Services Executive Deputy Commissioner Michael C. Green last week to consider supporting local yeshivas and shuls for security upgrades and enhancements as part of the 2020 State’s Securing Communities Against Hate Crimes (“SCAHC”) grant program at a budget hearing on February 12. “The Five Towns is particularly

one that is a pretty serious target in light of the fact of the concentration of religious institutions, schools and individuals in one place about 12 minutes from JFK Airport,” Senator Kaminsky told Green. Senator Kaminsky also requested that Executive Deputy Commissioner Green tour the Five Towns community with him to get a real sense of the needs and concerns of residents and community leaders who would be directly impacted by the grant funding.

“It’s crazy that in the 21st Century we’re having these conversations about what we could do to harden some of the most important sanctuaries that we want to walk into with our families,” Kaminsky said. “But, unfortunately, in this day and age it’s an important reality and the state has to continue to play a critical role in securing those institutions.” Non-profit organizations that are at risk of hate crime attacks because of their ideology, beliefs or mission

will be eligible to apply for funding for safety and security projects. The current program provides $25 million in funding and has been shifted to the Division of Criminal Justice Services (DCJS) from the Division of Homeland Security and Emergency Services (DHSES) in order to enhance the grant process. Kaminsky’s office will work with local yeshivas and community institutions to prepare their applications for this crucial funding.

The Jewish Home | FEBRUARY 20, 2020

BNOS BAIS YAAKOV 26TH ANNUAL DINNER SEVENTY FIVE YEARS SINCE THE LIBERATION

Paying Tribute to the She’aris Hapleita

OUR GRANDPARENT SURVIVORS

I love everything about TMM. In addition, I found that I was well prepared for the rigorous learning of seminary, in many cases more than my peers from other schools.

I love learning Navi because there are so many lessons to learn from it!

- TMM GRADUATE

- ESTI KARP, 7TH GRADE

I love learning parsha and yahadus. It’s interesting, and we always learn something new.

Honoring

DR. AKIVA AND MRS. MALIA BERGMAN

I love BBY because everyone is always smiling and all the teachers are loving and find time for every girl. They understand that no one is perfect and everyone is treated with respect and love by all the teachers and principals. - CHAYA RINA KEILSON, 6TH GRADE

- ROCHEL FUCHS, 3RD GRADE

Every day, as soon as I walk into the gates of BBY, I already feel warmer and safer. Before I even get into the building, I can feel the warmth of the moros. - 6TH GRADER

It makes me feel special when Morah Yehudis says good morning to me every single day.

I love learning chumash because it teaches us about the history of the Jewish people. - ESTI SPRUNG, 2ND GRADE

Guests of Honor

MR. MICHAEL AND MRS. LILY WEICHHOLZ

Parents of t he Year MR. YOSEF AND MRS. VIVI MOSKOWITZ

Kesser Shem Tov Award MR. SHLOMO AND MRS. HINDI SALAMON

Amudim Award

- MALYA KATZ, PRE-1A

Everyone here wants to learn. We have classes that are “lishmah,” meaning we don’t have any tests, and everyone still pays attention and participates. I especially love the Rosh Chodesh assemblies. And I love that a special Morah comes just to help me with reading. - CHAYA SARA STOBER, 1ST GRADE

- TMM STUDENT

MR. YOHOSHUA AND MRS. JASMIN LIVIAN

Etz Chaim Award

I love my Morah. She is like a heart lolly! - PRE-SCHOOL STUDENT

‫כ״ב אדר‬ ‫תש״פ‬

03 18 20

The Sands Atlantic Beach RECEPTION 7:30

DINNER 8:30

FEBRUARY 20, 2020 | The Jewish Home

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Long Island Yeshiva Coalition Mission to Albany

The LI Yeshiva Coalition delegates on the Million Dollar Staircase in the Capitol building

n the early morning hours of February 11, cars started pulling into the empty shul parking lot in Inwood – twenty-two people, administrators, parents, and board members representing the many yeshivos of the greater Five Towns and Far Rockaway. The excitement could be felt in spite of the drizzling rain as the men and women gathered under the awning to await the bus that would take them on the first-ever Long Island Advocacy Mission to Albany. The members of the mission were focused, ready to engage our legislators in Albany and present a convincing case for the needs of the 23 yeshivos and some ten thousand students they represented as a part of the Long Island Yeshiva Coalition. A few years ago, Rabbi Ari Ginian, Executive Director of YKLI, started a WhatsApp group for local yeshiva executive directors. They help each other with referrals, advice, and professional development regularly. Just last year, while carpooling on the long drive back from a broader trip to the state capitol, Rabbi Ginian, Rabbi Eli Biegeleisen of Darchei and Rabbi Dovid Kramer of YOSS proposed taking the group to the next level and advocating for the needs of the local yeshivos. After all, Agudath Israel of America’s annual mission to Albany is advocacy at its best. Organized by Rabbi Yeruchim Silber, Agudah’s Di-

rector of New York Government Relations, Albany Day connects legislators and their constituents advocating on important issues facing them and the entire orthodox community. Why not use the power of the group and the success of the Agudah to focus on the needs of our local yeshivas at all levels? Using the united voice, they could help set the agenda and create change. Working with Agudah leaders such as veteran advocate Chaskel Bennett and Leon Goldenberg, a meeting that was attended by the administrators of all the local Yeshivos was arranged. In order to gain insight into the issues that are facing this specific constituency, Agudah’s government relations and education teams gathered feedback on the issues our community cares about. Rabbi Silber asked the school administrators what they would like to see brought up to lawmakers this new session. Most stressed the importance of securing more funding for security to protect our schools, as well as working on providing tuition relief funding to struggling parents – issues that Agudath Israel has long been the leader on. The busing issue in the Five Towns was also a major topic of discussion. The Long Island Yeshiva Coalition was taking it up a level. Soon a steering group was formed with Rabbis Biegeleisen, Ginian, Kramer, Baruch

Rothman of Darchei and Richard Hagler of HALB, and local resident Ami Bazov, the in-house attorney for Aguadth Israel Educational Affairs. Working together, they set the plans for a focused Long Island mission and agenda. Tuesday, as the rain trickled down in Long Island, the mission began to take place. On the chartered bus, with Shacharis, breakfast and even a daf yomi shiur on the way, the delegates were prepped on the fine points of lobbying and agenda issues as they made the three-hour trek to the Capital. In Albany, the delegates split into three groups, each with a schedule and agenda. Among the officials that they met were: Assemblymember Stacey Pheffer Amato, assembly sponsor of the new funding initiative, Assemblymembers Daniel Rosenthal, Judy Griffin, Joe Lentil, Missy Miller, David Weprin, Senators Joe Adabbo, and Todd Kaminsky who represent many of the schools in the state Senate, Orthodox Senator Simcha Felder, Senator James Sanders of Bayswater, Senator Anna Kaplan of Greta Neck, and Minority Leader Senator John Flannagan among others. The main agenda items for the first LI Albany Day were: In light of the recent spate of anti-Semitic attacks, the first was security. The New York State Legislature currently allocates $15 million annually to nonpublic K-12

schools in the Nonpublic School Safety Equipment (NPSE) Grant. That’s approximately $37 per child. Thanks to the lobbying of Agudah and others, NPSE includes reimbursement for a wide array of security upgrades and safety and health items. In response to recent events, New Jersey increased its allocation to $150 per child for security – double its previous rate and far closer to the actual costs. Local Assemblymembers Stacey Pheffer Amato and Daniel Rosenthal of Queens have proposed that New York now at least double its allocation to $30 million in the current budget. Occupying the top of the list for Albany Day, the mission delegates expressed our support for this allocation, and discussed complicated challenges regarding proper security and armed guards in our local schools. The administrators and parents made a passionate case describing their community’s very real security fears. Another pressing bus issue was bussing. Together, the yeshivos realized there were over 500 students denied bussing from areas like Far Rockaway in New York City to schools in the Five Towns, just a few blocks away. Among a host of other topics, the group celebrated the positive outcome that had just been released from the Board of Regents regarding the state’s guidelines on private school educa-

The Jewish Home | FEBRUARY 20, 2020

Around the Community

On the NYS Assembly floor: Chanie Goldberger, Assemlymember Stacey Pheffer Amato, Malka Fishman, Illana Pilevsky, Racheli Hackel, and Tova Fried

tion, a topic of the utmost importance to yeshivas. Appreciation was expressed for the increases in STEM funding as well. Reflecting on the sessions, Chanie Goldberger and Ilana Pilevsky, delegates who head the Women’s League at Yeshiva Darchei Torah, said, “I am amazed by what is done behind the scenes and by what the Agudah does for all of us. It was truly worth it to go to be able to witness that. It is also incredible to see what a difference we all can really make by making our voices heard while at the same time thanking all of those working on behalf of all of us here.” Later in the afternoon, as the State Assembly entered its chambers in session, the Long Island group was ushered in the VIP section on the floor, a welcome surprise honor. After being introduced by Majority Leader Crystal Peoples-Stokes they were warmly greeted by Speaker Pro Tempore Jeff Aubry who, welcomed the group on behalf of Assemblymembers Stacey Pheffer Amato, Daniel Rosenthal, and Simcha Eichenstein. The delegation was treated to a round of applause by the legislators upon hearing of the purpose of the mission. Together with Michael Snow of the Governor’s office the group then sat down with Terry O’Leary, Department of Homeland Security Executive Deputy Commissioner. Mrs. Racheli Hackel of HANC, Rabbi Blumenkrnatz of BBY, and others shared firsthand experiences and difficulties in the application process for security funding, which would suggest streamlining. The day closed off with a private meeting with Deputy Secretary for

Education Dan Fuller, who took careful notes of the items brought up by Rabbi Lasker of MAY, Dr. Reisbaum from TAG, and the entire group. As the tired but accomplished group headed back home on the bus enjoying sandwiches sponsored by Chap-a-Nosh, Mrs. Tova Fried and teacher at BBY and a Darchei parent remarked, “It is truly amazing to see, even just a glimpse, all of the minute details that go into making our yeshivas work, both on a micro level as well as a macro one. I never appreciated all of the interplay between each individual school and the various government agencies, as well as within the Agudah and with each other.” Each delegate was presented with a stuffed bag of swag donated by the various schools as a token of appreciation and camaraderie. Rabbi Silber saw the increased energy, camaraderie, and effectiveness of the local, focused group. “The politicians have a positive outlook on the issues we bring to them,” Rabbi Ginian reflected. “They see that we’re thought-out. We walked away confident that the lawmakers will look into our concerns and make changes.” Perhaps one the delegates, Eric Stern, a prominent attorney and YKLI board member, put it best. “I was zocheh to participate in the Annual Agudath Israel Long Island Lobby. “Throughout the day, within every caucus, our group was engaged, prepared, informed and intense, but, most importantly, all while conducting itself with the highest levels of derech eretz and civility. We asked the tough questions about how gov-

Agudath Israel and the LI Yeshiva Coalition sharing concerns over legislation with Senator Todd Kaminksy

ernment is going to step up to help us protect our schools, and even tougher follow-ups if the response was inadequate. “Not only was the journey enjoyable, but it built morale amongst the different represented schools and created a cohesiveness that resonated throughout our sessions so that we – the Long Island Lobby - advocated as a single unit.

“It was an honor to have been included among this incredible group of administrators and educators on their holy mission and, as a parent, I am lucky to benefit from the hardest-working administration that help make our community’s education system the gold standard of chinuch worldwide. “The result of our trip: mission accomplished!”

Ooh

PHOTOG

RAPHY

BY MIR IAM

By Miri am

MIRIAM JACOBOVITS 347–572–8973

OOHBABYPHOTOGRAPHY

FEBRUARY 20, 2020 | The Jewish Home

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Aspirations and Expectations

ith the lofty theme of Aspire, Torah Academy for Girls is forging ahead into the next decade of providing the special TAG chinuch that has earned it such a sterling reputation. The Annual TAG dinner is an opportune time for the TAG family, parents, faculty, alumnae, high school seniors, friends and supporters to join together to not only pay tribute to worthy honorees but to look back and reflect on past accomplishments while looking forward to meeting our goals and aspirations for the years ahead. According to Dinner Chairmen Eliyahu Berger and Dudi Gross, this year’s dinner which takes place, iy”H, on Tuesday, March 3 at the Sands, promises to be both enjoyable and meaningful. The Journal Chairmen Pinny Ackerman and Dr. Yakov Lowinger are busy preparing the journal which will feature best wishes to those who have stepped forward to help TAG continue to grow and fulfill its aspirations. Guests of Honor: Dr. Ernest & Mrs. Sara Isaacson If you have attended the TAG dinners over the past few years, you were probably warmly greeted by Dr. Ernest Isaacson, one of the Dinner Journal Chairmen. It is obvious that both Dr. Ernest and Sara Isaacson value the chinuch their children are receiving and are willing to help those mosdos in any way they can. TAG has had the privilege of being their chinuch partners with their daughter Shira, a proud TAG alumna who recently married Jake Schwartz. Currently, TAG is enjoying having Sophia in our seventh grade. Dr. Isaacson serves as a gabbai sheini in the Agudah of West Lawrence and can be found in the morn-

ing in Rabbi Katz’s shul learning b’chavrusa before leaving for work. A popular podiatrist, he has offices in both Manhattan and the Bronx, and despite his heavy work schedule, he finds time to serve on the boards of Shaaray Tefilah and Mesivta Ateres Yaakov. Mrs. Isaacson is what you could call a full time working-at-home mother. Besides caring for her family, she is deeply and constantly involved in the mitzvah of kibbud av va’am as well as bikur cholim. Her free hours are spent helping her parents, sister, and her father- in-law. She does it all with a smile and there could be no more perfect role model for her children to see, as she is without a doubt the world champion and paradigm of chsesed. Their home revolves around chessed and involvement in the klal. TAG is indeed fortunate to count them amongst our parent body and it will be an honor to recognize them at this year’s dinner. Hakaras Hatov Honorees: Ezzy & Leah Davidowitz If you ask anyone in North Woodmere about the Davidowitz family, you would probably hear words like dedicated, motivated and involved. We, at TAG, could add a few more superlatives such as devoted parents, loyal supporters, and “doers.” The Davidowitz family davens in KBH, Kehillas Bnai Hayeshivos where Rabbi Shmuel Witkin serves as their rav. Ezzy is very involved in their building campaign and has proven to be a valuable resource with his business expertise. AT TAG, when dinner time rolls around, Ezzy always takes an active role as a committee member and goes above and beyond playing an important role in the success of each dinner. The Davidowitzes are blessed

Did you know? No number before 1,000 contains the letter A

with four beautiful daughters, bli eiyin hora, who attend TAG and from whom we are sharing much nachas. Chayala, currently in our sixth grade, is preparing for the meaningful bas mitzvah program that will take place soon. Tova is in fifth grade, and we are fortunate to have two Davidowitz girls in our second grade, their twins, Shani and Sori. Their little prince, Shea, currently attends nursery in Yeshiva Darchei Torah. Mrs. Leah Davidowitz also goes to Yeshiva Darchei Torah where she is a social worker who works with pre-school age children. In her spare time, Leah does parenting coaching and has her own business called Muffins n Moms. Since joining the TAG family, she has not missed an opportunity to volunteer at the TAG Lag B’Omer BBQ. This family values the chinuch their daughters are receiving, and, to show their hakaras hatov to the school, they are accepting this award. Kesser Shem Tov: Mr. Zack & Mrs. Dovi Tomaszewski What’s in a name? It cannot just be the large number of letters in a last name, nor the originality of the first names. All kidding aside, the Kesser Shem Tov award that Zack and Dovi Tomaszewski will be receiving at the Annual TAG Dinner is not about any of the above criteria but rather what they contribute to rightfully earn that title. Although they do not go to the same building, both mother and daughter come to TAG. Levana Tomaszewski is currently in 11th grade in Machon Sarah TAG High School, and her mother works on the third floor of the elementary building as the dedicated and devoted social worker for the elementary division. Mrs. T, as she is fondly known, has implemented many creative ideas to help students. Her cozy corner bench, designed and made by some of her students, welcomes everyone to her office and provides the girls with a place to relax while waiting to speak to her. Her warmth, care and concern has made her a valuable asset in TAG. The Women’s League of TAG invited her to be a featured

panelist at the recent Women’s League’s popular T.E.A.M UP event where she was able to share her expertise and suggestions to help children deal with stress. Zack is a builder and contractor, and boruch Hashem, he and Dovi have managed to build their own bayis ne’eman and are wonderful role models for their children. The Rabbi Moshe Weitman z”l Memorial Award: Morah Miriam Adler a”h This year, the dinner takes on added meaning as we pay a memorial tribute to an outstanding mechaneches in Machon Sarah TAG High School, Morah Miriam Adler, a”h, whose petirah this summer has affected so many talmidos, faculty members, and all who were fortunate to know her. It is most fitting that her family will be receiving the Rabbi Moshe Weitman z”l Award as Morah Adler appreciated and followed Rabbi Weitman’s derech of chinuch. Morah Adler shied away from the limelight but in her humble and unassuming way she managed to stand out and her students and her colleagues began to recognize her neshama tehorah. She loved teaching historia, Chumash Devarim, and just speaking with the girls. With her wit and her warmth, she reached her talmidos who looked up to her as a role model. As a devoted wife to Rabbi Menachem Adler, yb”lch, she was the akeres habayis. As a true eizer k’negdo, she encouraged her husband in his learning and was proud of his participation in the Dirshu program. With the birth of her daughters, Chaya Shira, Leah & Esther, she was elevated to the role she loved best – that of being a mother. Her home overflowed with love, chessed, and a commitment to Torah. The impact she had on so many future generations cannot be underestimated. Her legacy lives on in her family, her friends, and in the halls of Machon Sarah TAG High School. Please join the TAG family for this special event. For reservations and ads, please contact the school at dinner@tagschools.org.

The Jewish Home | FEBRUARY 20, 2020

FEBRUARY 20, 2020 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

Literacy Week “Branching Out”

Pink Day at SKA

here was pink everywhere at the Stella K. Abraham High School for Girls on Pink Day, Wednesday, February 12. Sharsheret Pink Day is a worldwide initiative by students to raise awareness about breast cancer and cancer genetics. Pink Day at SKA was celebrated with doughnuts, raffles, wristbands, pink lemonade, and even pink manicures. The color pink dominated the clothing and walls in the school. SKA students were honored to hear from a breast cancer survivor who shared her incredible story of survival. She delivered an open and honest account of how she dealt with her diagnosis and how the Sharsheret organization, i-Shine and her community supported her and her family

throughout her ordeal. Her inspirational words made Pink Day at SKA very meaningful. SKA’s Pink Day highlighted the need for awareness and education, as Ashkenazic Jews are ten times more at risk for hereditary cancers than the general population. Yashar koach to faculty member Dr. Neera Kimmel, who also volunteers for Sharsheret, and her hardworking Pink Day committee members for organizing such a successful event.

n honor of Tu B’Shvat, this year’s heads of Literacy Week, eighth graders Miriam Schreier, Leorah Shetrit, and Adina Traube chose “Branching Out” as their theme. The trio were diligent and dedicated in their planning, as they kicked off the

week with “The Bookworm Challenge” in which students had to answer questions on a wide variety of literary works, both classic and contemporary. The challenge left students of grades 5-8 excited and eager to see what else is in store!

Mesivta Netzach Hatorah Goes Well Beyond the School Day

ne would never know that the kol Torah reverberating from the Beis Medrash before Shacharis was voluntary. If we thought our Mesivta days were long

enough, Mesivta Netzach Hatorah boys say, “No, we want more! More learning before yeshiva, more during our break times, and more after Mesivta hours. The sky’s the limit, and

Serving our community for over 30 years

our rabbeim push us to maximize all our kochos both for ourselves and others around us.” The ingredients for the lifelong mission of being a ben Torah and active member of Klal Yisrael are engrained and part of the fabric of the Mesivta. Whether it be the pre-Shacharis voluntary Gemara shiur in Maseches Brachos or Chagiga, the extra seder after Shacharis and during breakfast, or the 11th graders learning b’chavrusa with the ninth graders during Night Seder and after Shacharis, the wide-scope exposure to the beauty of our mesorah is apparent at any given moment. A highlight of the week is when a different talmid addresses the entire Mesivta with a dvar Torah. Delivered with maturity and poise, fellow talmidim absorb and listen intently to “one of their own” giving over an inspiring message before they leave the walls of the Mesivta for Shabbos. The encouragement of the dynamic rebbeim gives every talmid the vital tools to be matzliach. The selfless dedication and devotion of the rebbeim extends well after Mesivta is over. Whether it be an incentive ski trip, a schoolwide Shabbaton, a twoday getaway upstate for sports and bonding, or an invitation to a rebbe’s house over an “off Shabbos,” nothing seems to be out of the scope of the Hanhalah and their all-star cast of mechanchim. If this were not enough, the

Mesivta inspires the talmidim to give back to the community at large. The achrayus for Klal Yisrael and to some of our essential local chessed organizations is continually stressed as a vital necessity to grow into a complete talmid. Reaching out to assist at the local food pantry or volunteering for Chasdei Lev are just two examples of many chessed opportunities our boys engage in showing their sensitivity toward the needs of others. As the Mesivta is now approaching its fourth year (and first 12th grade class), it is no wonder why so many gedolim and rabbanim have made their way to the yeshiva in order to see for themselves the day-to-day operations that cultivate these exceptional talmidim. Additionally, yeshivos in Eretz Yisrael are in close contact with the Mesivta to see if they can have the opportunity to attract some of these mature, motivated students, who for the last three-plus years have been nurtured in a warm and Torahdik environment and have been molded into serious bnei Torah who will have an impact on Klal Yisrael for many years to come. Mesivta Netzach Hatorah will be having their annual dinner on March 16 honoring Dovid and Shoshana Kirschenbaum and Dovi and Chaya Weiser as our Guests of honor and our very own, Rabbi Yitzy Stern, with the Harbatzas Torah Award. Please go to NHDinner.com to place your reservation and ad.

The Jewish Home | FEBRUARY 20, 2020

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Around the Community

A Prestigious Honor

RS is immensely proud of seniors Josh Brafman and Tzviki Fortgang, who have both qualified as Finalists for the National Merit Scholarship. This is an extremely prestigious honor, and it reflects the high level of education that DRS strives to deliver to their students, as well as the level of commitment and work they expect from them.

The National Merit Scholar-

ship Program is a United States academic scholarship competition for recognition and college scholarships administered by National Merit Scholarship Corporation. Students who qualify as a Finalists have an outstanding academic record, are endorsed and recommended by a school officials, and earn extremely high PSAT scores.

Bonding at Central

he freshmen at Central headed out for a day of snow tubing at Mount Peter last Wednesday. They were accompanied by their grade deans, Mrs. Aliza Gewirtz and Ms. Elana Kook, as well as Assistant Principal Mrs. Aliza Konig, Ms. Tzirel Schwartz, and Mrs. Meira

Winter. Ms. Kook said, “The students had a blast!” After a busy first semester getting to know each other and coming together as a grade, the trip was a great way to reconnect and build grade momentum for second semester!

each day so others could answer amen to their brachos. They were also asked to answer amen to their parents’ brachos. This is the fifteenth year of the Out Loud Brachos contest. It is run in the

Five Towns, Queens, Monsey, West Hempstead, Great Neck, Passaic, Chicago, and Los Angeles communities. For more information about the Out Loud Brachos contest, contact OutLoudBrachos@gmail.com.

Brachos Out Loud

hildren in the community were encouraged to say their brachos out loud for the past few weeks during the Out Loud Brachos contest. Every week, children who participate are able to enjoy

prizes from local stores – Oh Nuts!, Seasons , Seasons Express, KolSave, Carlos & Gabby’s, and Pizza Pious – that helped to sponsor the program. The children were asked to make at least five brachos out loud

The Jewish Home | FEBRUARY 20, 2020

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Around the Community

Yeshiva Gedolah of the Five Towns Annual Dinner

n Wednesday, February 26, Yeshiva Gedolah of the Five Towns will be hosting its 17 th Annual Dinner. The dinner highlights the impact of the yeshiva on the local community. This year, we are fortunate to be honoring three individuals who are pillars of our community, each in their own unique way. The yeshiva has established a presence in the “Yeshiva World” as a serious makom Torah dedicated to the growth of its bochurim and yungerleit. Bochurim who are returning from Eretz Yisroel and seeking to continue their development have come to learn in the yeshiva and take in the clarity and dedication offered by the different maggidei shiur, Rav Goodman, shlita, Rav Kaminsky, shlita, Rav Moshe Miller, shlita, and Rav Meir Yehuda Kotowitz, shlita. The yeshiva is under the direction of Rav Moshe Zev Katzenstein, shlita, who takes every new talmid under his wing and continues to nurture and develop his growth. The yeshiva is still a beneficiary of the influence of Rav Yitzchok Knobel, shlita, who was the founder of the yeshiva and left his

indelible imprint on the Yeshiva with his Torah knowledge and kesher to the gedolim of the previous generation. Many bochurim get married and continue in the Kollel to take advantage of the opportunities the yeshiva offers. We are excited to recognize as the Guests of Honor Mr. and Mrs. Mikey Richman. The Richmans, in their quiet but significant way, are pillars of the yeshiva and the community. Mikey serves on the Board of Directors but his value to yeshiva goes way beyond that. He is a mainstay in the yeshiva for davening, not only partaking, but actively involved as a shaliach tzibbur, as a constant mispallel enjoying the yeshiva davening and especially the special occasions, simchas Torah, and the rest of the yamim tovim! He comes regularly to learn and join in hashkafa shiurim and his consistency is a great asset. His eishes chayil, Rebecca, is a partner in all his accomplishments, as well as a force in the community in chessed and hachnosas orchim. They are a true team of chessed, chashivus ha’Torah u’tefillah, and kiddush

Hashem. We are grateful that they humbly accepted this honor only to help the yeshiva and bring honor to the Torah. We are also thrilled to honor Rabbi and Mrs. Keevy Fried with the Avodas Hakodesh Award. Keevy’s essence and everything he does is avodas hakodesh. His work in the OU, especially his efforts to inspire teenagers to come closer to Torah, is done with the passion and love of a true oved Hashem. His commitment to the yeshiva in all its aspects is a chizuk for everyone around him. His eishes chayil, Deena, is his partner in all of his endeavors and is a beacon of ahavas chessed at every opportunity. They are true role models of avodas hakodesh, and we are grateful they accepted this honor l’hagdil Torah u’l’adirah. We are humbled by the acceptance of the Harbotzas Torah Award by Rabbi and Mrs. Moshe Miller. Rav Miller is a concerned, caring rebbe to hundreds of talmidim. He is focused on every aspect of their lives and their growth. He is a presence of Torah in the beis hamedrash with his breadth

of knowledge in all areas of learning. He learns with many baalei baatim, as well as giving the parsha shiur on Shabbos morning. His eishes chayil is an integral part of the yeshiva’s success in many ways. She stands behind her husband’s mesiras nefesh and contributes to the success of the bochurim in her own way, including helping them to find their shidduch. They are a wonderful couple of Harbotzas HaTorah, and we are proud to honor them at the upcoming dinner. Please join us as we pay tribute to these unique individuals in our community and to the spirit of Torah that they and the yeshiva represent. The dinner is the prime fundraiser of the yeshiva’s budget. Our honorees have graciously accepted these awards; please respond in kind by supporting the yeshiva in honor of them. We look forward to seeing you on February 26 at Congregation Kneseth Israel – The White Shul. Your generous support will ensure the continued success of the Yeshiva Gedolah of the Five Towns and help us continue to provide for the talmidim and the community at large.

to show how they preserve evidence. We took two shoe imprints and made molds of them. When we finished in the garage, we went to the conference room where we met the chief medical examiner. The chief medical examiner gave us a PowerPoint presentation on how the medical examiner does an

autopsy. After that, the medical examiner answered a couple of questions from students. Thank you to Mr. Wells for bringing the class to life and for arranging the trip!

CSI Comes to Life By Joseph Waide

his week, Mr. Wells’ forensics class at Rambam went on a field trip to the Suffolk County Crime Laboratory. In the lab, we saw the firearms department, the drug chemistry department, and the trace evidence department, and we also got to meet the chief medical examiner. After meeting Mr. Wells at the laboratory, the first thing we did was meet one of the gentlemen from the firearms department. The firearms department is where the lab studies ballistic evidence. Inside, we got to see two shell casings from the same gun under a microscope. Then we went downstairs to the indoor gun range where they test guns that they retrieve from crime scenes. We also saw the “Gun Water Tank,” which is a tank full of water used to shoot bullets into so that the water stops the bullets. This allows scientists to test for velocity and range of the bullets without anyone getting hurt. Soon after we visited the Gun Safe which contained all the guns confiscated by the police over the years. We

then visited the drug section where we met another gentleman who tests drugs to identity their contents. After this, Mr. Wells took us to his department: forensics. Inside, we tested different stains to see if they contained blood or not. We then went to a garage where they do foot impressions

The Jewish Home | FEBRUARY 20, 2020

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The Jewish Home | FEBRUARY 20, 2020

Outpouring of Ahavas HaTorah as More Than 22,000 Led by Gedolei Yisrael Celebrate Dirshu World Siyum in Newark Accomplishments of Dirshu Lomdim Hailed at 3 Locations

By Chaim Gold

hat a sight! The Sanzer Rebbe, shlita, from Eretz Yisrael entered the cavernous Prudential Center in Newark as some 20,000 stood on their feet, craning their necks to see while the phenomenal orchestra played the song, “Tzadik ka’tamor.” As the Rebbe made his way to the large round table in the middle of the dais where the gedolei Yisrael were sitting, the roshei yeshiva and admorim, HaGaon HaRav Malkiel Kotler, shlita, HaGaon HaRav Dovid Cohen, shlita, HaGaon HaRav Yeruchem Olshin, shlita, HaGaon HaRav Aharon Feldman, shlita, HaGaon HaRav Reuven Feinstein, shlita, the Kalever Rebbe, shlita, the Kosover Rebbe, shlita, the Skolyer Rebbe, shlita, and so many others, rose as one and walked over to greet him, escorting him to his seat. Meanwhile, the 20,000 Yidden grasped hands and, with profound achdus, began dancing and jumping in an indescribable, spontaneous outpouring of simchas haTorah and kavod haTorah. Indeed, dry ink on paper simply cannot even come close to encapsulating the feelings of simcha, reverence and ahava, pure love of Torah and gedolei Torah manifest in the Prudential Center and NJPAC where thou-

sands more had gathered, joined by over 100,000 worldwide who joined via livestream. Usually these venues are for sports and other entertainment events, but on that night, they became one giant beis medrash of kavod haTorah. That moment and so many others on Sunday night, 15 Shevat/February 9, at the Prudential Center served as

“The Torah Is Rejoicing With Us!” The powerful drashos of the gedolim, the special guests from Eretz Yisrael HaGaon HaRav Dovid Cohen, shlita, rosh yeshiva of the Chevron Yeshiva, the Sanzer Rebbbe, shlita, HaGaon HaRav Shimon Galei, shlita, the local gedolim, HaGaon HaRav Elya Ber Wachtfogel, shlita, HaGa-

“Learning Shas transforms a person into being considered a sefer Torah itself.”

a microcosm of the essence of Dirshu. What is the essence of Dirshu? It is Torah, Torah and Torah, led and guided by the gedolei hador; it is achdus through Torah as gedolim representing all the myriad shevatim in Klal Yisrael come together under one banner to honor the massive accomplishments of lomdei Dirshu, so many who have become Shas Yidden and all of whom learn and chazer, chazer, and learn, reviewing repeatedly to learn Torah with accountability.

on HaRav Yeruchem Olshin, shlita, and HaGaon HaRav Shlomo Feivel Schustal, shlita, all hailed the accomplishments of the lomdei Torah who have achieved so much and Dirshu, the organization that has facilitated such hasmada and yedias haTorah. Even more, they expressed how Dirshu and its system of accountable limud haTorah is the antidote to the tremendous yetzer hara and challenges from within and without that Klal Yisrael is experiencing in this

difficult galus. Perhaps the passionate pronouncement of Rav Dovid Hofstedter, shlita, Nasi of Dirshu, encapsulated that message when he exclaimed with great emotion, “Tonight, at this great simcha, we sound the battlecry, ‘Mi l’Hashem eilai, vayeiosfu eilav kol bnei Dirshu!’” The remarks of the rosh yeshiva, Rav Dovid Cohen, captured the overwhelming feelings of simcha that permeated the hall when he said, “‘Sisu v’simchu b’simchas haTorah – rejoice and be joyous in the joy of the Torah!’ Rav Chaim Brisker asked: It should say rejoice and be joyous in the Torah. What is the significance of the words, the ‘joy’ of the Torah? “The answer,” he proclaimed, “is that the Torah itself is rejoicing with us. It is not just us rejoicing in the Torah! On a night like this, the Torah itself, as it were, is rejoicing with us!” That was the feeling pulsing through the hearts and souls of the unprecedented crowd filling the Prudential Center, NJPAC and the unique women’s event at the Newark Symphony Hall as they celebrated the simchas haTorah of their husbands and their integral role in facilitating the Torah accomplishments of their husbands.

FEBRUARY 20, 2020 | The Jewish Home

“Every Single Person Here Can Be a ‘Chosson Bereishis!’” The event began with a special historic, emotion-filled moment when Reb Avrohom Bleeman from Toronto was honored with leading tefillas Maariv. Reb Avrohom, a Holocaust survivor from Poland, was perhaps the only Yid in the hall who had personally seen and interacted with Rav Meir Shapiro, the founder of Daf HaYomi. Some ninety years ago, when Reb Avrohom was a child, Rav Meir Shapiro came to his shtetel, gathered the children together and taught them a niggun to the words of ‘Hein go’alti.’ Reb Avrohom, who has completed Shas with Daf HaYomi numerous times since then, including the present machzor, said that this niggun was one of the things that enabled him to survive six years of the crucible of the Holocaust until experiencing his personal geula from the Nazis and the tremendous rejuvenation of Torah on these shores. This was especially meaningful to him as his son-in-law, Rav Dovid Hofstedter, through the establishment of Dirshu, has been instrumental in this Torah rejuvenation and revolution. Rav Zev Smith then opened the evening by urging all who have not yet joined one of Dirshu’s programs of accountable limud haTorah to do so. He said, “Tonight, not everyone here is a ‘Chosson Torah’ but every single person here can be a ‘Chosson Bereishis!’” HaGaon HaRav Shimon Galei, well known mashpia and Rosh Kollel from Eretz Yisrael, then led the assemblage in the recitation of Tehillim and delivered words of bracha. Rav Galei asked why the Amora Abaye felt compelled to make a “yom tov” for his talmidim every time one

of them finished a masechta. He explained, “Klal Yisrael celebrates Shabbosim and yomim tovim but those are days that Hashem made and consecrated. Tonight, however, is a yom tov that we have created ourselves! Every Yid who finished Shas or finished a masechta has

Yosef, and HaGaon HaRav Shimon Baadani, shlita, Rosh Yeshiva of Torah V’Chaim, voiced special words of bracha, urging Jews the world over to raise their limud haTorah up a notch by joining a program that encourages chazara through accountability and testing.

“On a night like this, the Torah itself, as it were, is rejoicing with us!”

made his own yom tov tonight! Tonight, is our celebration!” One feature of the event that brought deep inspiration to the crowd were the special musical presentations throughout the evening by some of the best singers and mezamrim in the world, from both Eretz Yisrael and America. The true Yiddishe taam of the music combined with the beautiful compositions – some made especially for the Dirshu siyum – added a profound, deep dimension of simcha and appreciation for the Torah accomplishments of the lomdei Dirshu. The multi-piece bands from both Eretz Yisrael and America joined seamlessly with the singers and choirs, singing and playing together in achdus, symbolic of the achdus that characterizes Dirshu. Another important component of Dirshu achdus was the special video wherein two of the Sephardic elder gedolei hador from Eretz Yisrael, HaGaon HaRav Shalom Cohen, shlita, Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshiva Porat

Packed NJPAC Location Features Its Own Riveting Program Meanwhile, at the NJPAC venue, Maariv was led by the Skulener Rebbe, shlita, of Lakewood who is in the year of aveilus for his father, the previous Skulener Rebbe, zt”l, who attended numerous Dirshu events over the years. Rav Yitzchok Zalman Gips, Rav of Khal Birchas Avrohom and Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshivas Nehardaah, pointed out that within Klal Yisrael there has been terminology used to describe the essence of various people such as bnei Torah, baal nefesh, and the like. “Today, the term ‘Dirshu Yid’ has a meaning, too. It means a Yid and a home that utilizes every minute for learning and chazara; a Yid and a home with immutable goals in achieving yedias haTorah.” A powerful drasha was also given by HaGaon HaRav Dovid Olewski, shlita, Rosh Yeshivas Ger, Boro Park. Rav Olewski related in the name of

one of the Admorim of Ger, “When Dovid Hamelech said, ‘Achas sho’alti – one thing I ask from you Hashem,” perhaps he was saying that everyone has a moment of spiritual climax in life to which he keeps returning to derive chizuk. That one moment is the moment from which he draws strength…and tonight is that night!” “Dirshu,” he thundered, “takes bnei aliya and transforms them into Shas Yidden! The Mishnah in Middos says that there was an ‘ish har habayis’ whose task was to make sure no Kohen fell asleep. If he saw a Kohen sleeping, he could hit him. Our ‘ish har habayis’ is Rav Dovid Hofstedter! Rav Dovid saw a generation that was proverbially sleeping, and he hit them, not with a stick but with goodness, with encouragement, with a stipend for good results!” Rav Dovid Hofstedter began the evening at NJPAC with a powerful address to the more than 2,000 people there. At Prudential, the chairman of the evening, Rabbi Leibish Lish, introduced HaGaon HaRav Aharon Toisig, shlita, mashgiach at the Alexander Yeshiva of Bnei Brak and an inspiring orator who journeyed from Eretz Yisrael to attend the event. Imagine the Nachas That Rav Meir Shapiro Would Have Tonight He said, “Rav Meir Shapiro, the founder of Daf HaYomi, came to America in the 1920s to raise funds to build his ‘baby,’ Yeshivas Chachmei Lublin. He had a very hard time raising funds and, after spending more than a year in America, returned to Europe very disheartened. Imagine, however, if Rav Meir would be here today,” Rav Toisig exclaimed, “and would see that here, in the land

The Jewish Home | FEBRUARY 20, 2020

of America, a land that no one ever dreamed would be sown with Torah learning…imagine the nachas he would have to see that not only has his other ‘baby,’ the Daf HaYomi, been so successful but so many thousands are learning and being tested on Shas, due to the seeds that he planted!” A highlight was the entry of the numerous gedolei Yisrael to the accompaniment of uplifting music. The entire crowd stood, as one, on its feet welcoming them with such ahava, the ahava that lomdei Torah have for those who represent Torah. The gedolim were seated on a large oval table spread across nearly the entire floor of the stadium. The message was not lost on anyone: All of the gedolim, Litvish, Chassidish, Sephardic, were sitting around the same table, facing each other in a profound display of achdus, an achdus that personifies Dirshu. Later, in his drasha, the Sanzer Rebbe would point that out. “One of the great ‘side benefits’ of Dirshu is the achdus it promotes in Klal Yisrael.” The Rebbe continued, “Every time I visit a Dirshu testing site, one of the things that is deeply moving is the sight of all the different shevatim of Klal Yisrael sitting next to each other at the same table, taking the same tests, totally unified by the ultimate unifier, the Torah hakedosha!” “They Know Shas! They are the Klaf of a Sefer Torah!” Rav Dovid Cohen quoted HaGaon HaRav Yitzchok Hutner, zt”l, Rosh Yeshivas Chaim Berlin, who said, “A siyum haShas is not just a siyum on

sixty separate masechtos, it is a siyum on a totally different plane, it is a siyum on the entire Torah sheb’al peh!” Rav Cohen then quoted the Chofetz Chaim, from his sefer Shem Olam, that when a person learns Torah, he brings the kedushas haTorah into his very essence. The physical person becomes like a klaf, like the parchment upon which a sefer Torah is written. “Learning Shas transforms a person into being considered a sefer Torah itself.” Rav Dovid then shared a personal feeling. “When I come to a siyum such as this, I feel that it is something special and unique. Any siyum haShas is a tremendous simcha! We should not minimize the completion of Shas by anyone. Nevertheless, when a person doesn’t just learn Shas, but chazers, reviews it over and over again, that is the ultimate siyum! Dirshu makes such siyumim! Dirshu Yidden not only learn Shas, they know Shas! They are the klaf of a sefer Torah!” Rav Cohen went on to express his personal hakaras hatov to Rav Hofstedter for never letting up in his quest to enrich Klal Yisrael with more Torah and for investing his heart and soul in Dirshu. “Certainly, this zechus will stand him and his family in good stead for eternity.” Rav Yeruchem Olshin: “Dirshu is Preserving Klal Yisrael in This Galus” There was a hush in the hall as the Rosh Yeshiva of Lakewood, Rav Yeruchem Olshin, was called to speak. Rav Olshin, who was clearly deeply moved over the zechus to address such a crowd of talmidei chachamim, related, “When Rav

Shlomo Heiman came to America in 1935 to become rosh yeshiva of Mesivta Torah Vodaas, he attended a siyum where he rejoiced greatly. What was the source of his great joy? Back then, in 1935, siyumim weren’t common in America and they engendered great simcha. Baruch Hashem, today, siyumim are very common. Nevertheless,” the Rosh Yeshiva proclaimed, “a siyum such as this is indeed unique! It is a siyum where throngs of Yidden, young and old, have invested such mesirus nefesh into their learning. They have reviewed Shas over and over again! I cannot even depict the great simcha! So many Yidden with such mesirus nefesh, persevering over such a long period of time! What a zechus! What a simcha!” Rav Yeruchem continued with the main part of his drasha, a comprehensive analysis of the galus in which we find ourselves and the way to survive it. He cited a question from the Chofetz Chaim. “Yaakov Avinu was 63 years old when he fled Yitzchak’s house. On his way to Lavan he stopped at the Yeshiva of Shem V’Ever where he stayed for fourteen years! Yes, we know he needed to prepare for galus, but fourteen years?! He needed to establish Klal Yisrael, he was already 63, an older man. One year, two years is understandable, but fourteen?! “The Midrash Hagadol explains that Yaakov spent those fourteen years being ‘mevarer Talmudo,’ clarifying the Torah learning that he had previously learned at the feet of Yitzchak Avinu. Mevarer Talmudo means reviewing and clarifying, a

task that requires much effort and review. “Yaakov Avinu felt that in order to withstand with the nisyonos, the spiritual hurdles that galus with Lavan posed, it wasn’t enough just to take the Torah that he learned with Yitzchak Avinu. He needed to be mevarer Talmudo, to chazer and review. Only with that degree of clarity would he be able to shield himself from the influences of the galus that he would be entering. “There is a special yetzer hara to prevent a person from reviewing what he learned,” Rav Yeruchem exclaimed. “Review is the most difficult avodah! “The pasuk in Mishlei says that in order to battle the yetzer hara you need tachbulos – tricks or special techniques. Dirshu has provided us with that tachbula. They have enabled thousands upon thousands of Yidden the world over to be mevarer Talmudo.” The Rosh Yeshiva went on to depict how Dirshu provides an antidote for the terrible galus in which we live. “We are living in difficult times. Anti-Semitism and sinas Yisrael has come to locales where it wasn’t so strong until now, such as Jersey City, Monsey and others… There is the spiritual galus as well. Rav Elchonon Wasserman wrote that the reason for all travail that Klal Yisrael is undergoing is forgetting the Torah. “What has Dirshu done?” thundered Rav Olshin. “Dirshu is preserving Klal Yisrael in this galus by giving us the great weapon and shield to combat the forgetting of Torah!”

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“Love of Torah of the Women Empowers Their Husbands and Children to Learn” Rav Yeruchem then transitioned to English and addressed the Dirshu wives. He cited the pasuk in which, right before Kabbalas HaTorah in Parshas Yisro, Hashem tells Moshe to first address the Bais Yaakov, the women, and only then the Bnei Yisrael, the men.

“Rabbeinu Yonah, in his drasha addressed to women that is printed in his sefer Igeres HaTeshuva, asks, ‘Why did the Torah put the women before the men?’ Rabbeinu Yonah answers that noshim hatzenuos are the reason that men are successful in Torah. Yes, women are exempt from the mitzvah of talmud Torah but their ahavas haTorah is the power behind their husbands and

empowers their husbands and children to learn.” “Dirshu is Not What You ‘Do’; It Is What You ‘Are!’” One of the deeply moving moments of the evening was when Chairman Rabbi Lish got up and directed the eyes of the crowd to the screen. He said, “Now is the time to recognize the ameilus b’Torah and

the accomplishment of the Dirshu Yidden and their wives.” As he spoke, the screen filled with hundreds upon hundreds of names scrolling down – the names of all Yidden who had taken tests on Shas. Rabbi Lish then related a story from that very morning in the cheder where he teaches. He saw a boy come to cheder with a white shirt, a shirt worn on festive occasions such

The Chant of the Chosen By Avigail Menzelefsky

hey say that the hardest thing to appreciate is something you’ve always had. It’s hard to appreciate your good eyesight when you’ve always had twenty-twenty vision. It’s hard to have full appreciation for a spouse when you’ve been married for many years. It’s hard to appreciate how lucky we truly are to be Hashem’s chosen people. We are lucky when Hashem opens our eyes to see how truly fortunate we are. We hope that these wake-up calls don’t come in a negative form; an illness to appreciate our health or a death to appreciate life. I was lucky enough to have my eyes opened to how fortunate I am to be a Jew, at the Dirshu World siyum last Sunday at Prudential Center. As a woman observing this incredible event, and a woman who is not one of the Nishei Dirshu, my perspective is wrapped in the emotional aspect of such a beautiful and unifying experience. I left with a feeling of “Ashreichem Yisrael,” a theme mentioned by many of the gedolim who spoke at the event. How fortunate is Yisrael that they are the chosen people. Ashreichem that we choose to sit and learn Hashem’s Torah. Ashreichem that we spend our entire

lives striving to serve Hashem in all we do. I saw many things that night at Prudential Center that reminded me how fortunate I am to be part of such an elevated and holy group of people. When a chashuve-looking attendee approached one of the security personnel to quietly thank him for keeping us all safe, I thought “Ashreichem.” When hundreds of women

every member of the crowd, no matter their differences? Plainly spoken, the answer is “no.” Devil’s games often have empty seats and disinterested viewers. No one play would ever captivate every single person sitting in that arena, simply because many of them are probably on their cell phones. And no matter how incredible a goal any team scores on the ice, fans from both teams will

The simcha in the room peaked at that moment and poured out of every person’s heart

rose to join the men to daven Maariv, I thought, “Ashreichem.” When tens of thousands of people fell silent to soak in the words of each speaker, I thought, “Ashreichem.” This is the sound of the Jewish people. Can the weekly sporting events at this arena boast a crowd that is 100% captivated by what is going on in the arena below? Can they boast absolute silence when someone gets up to address the crowd? Can they boast emotional dancing that unifies

not be dancing together with hearts uplifted. The Dirshu World siyum was a true example of the gadlus of the Jewish nation. That tens of thousands of people took buses, trains, cars and planes to participate in this major accomplishment of Klal Yisrael says, “Ashreichem.” As was sung at the event, “K’Ish Echad B’Lev Echad.” This is something unique to Klal Yisrael. No other nation can claim responsibility, love and con-

nection to every member of their nation. Yet thousands of years after being exiled, Jews can still say, “K’Ish Echad B’Lev Echad.” The Hadran at the siyum was recited by HaRav Reuven Feinstein, shlita, Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshiva of Staten Island, followed by the Kaddish, recited by HaRav Malkiel Kotler, shlita, Rosh Yeshiva of Beth Midrash Govoha. The simcha in the room peaked at that moment and poured out of every person’s heart as tens of thousands of men broke out in synchronized dancing and song. Even the women’s section of the arena was powered with an emotional charge, connecting the hearts of everyone in that room. As we say multiple times a day, and as we sing on Simchas Torah, “Ashrei ha’am shekacha lo.” Fortunate is the nation that the Torah is theirs. Fortunate are those who joined together with their brothers in the holy pursuit of learning Torah with accountability. Fortunate are their wives who can support such dedication to Torah, and who came out in droves to commemorate the accomplishments of their husbands. “Ashrei ha’am she’Hashem Elokav.” Fortunate is the nation that Hashem is their G-d. How fortunate am I to be a Jew!

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as Rosh Chodesh. “I asked him, ‘Why the white shirt?’ and he answered, ‘My father “does” Dirshu.’ Smilingly, I responded, ‘Dirshu is not what you “do,” it is what you “are!” Your father is a Dirshu Yid, your mother is a Dirshu Yiddeneh, and you are part of the Dirshu family!’” After the event, a participant related that he saw his son removing the plastic “Dirshu World Siyum” logo from around the water bottles that had been distributed at the siyum and began sticking them on the walls of his home. When his father asked him, “What are you doing?” he replied, “I want this house to be a Dirshu home!” The Sanzer Rebbe: “In Our Generation, There Is So Much Tumah But There Is Also Dirshu!” As the Sanzer Rebbe slowly made his way to the podium, a profound feeling of yiras hakavod filled the air. As he was speaking, clearly and with such love, the audience was visibly latching onto his every word. The Rebbe began by expressing his great joy. “We have seen over the past weeks and throughout all of the siyumei haShas the fulfillment of the Divine promise that Torah will never be forgotten among the Jewish people. Even in this bitter galus, with all of the nisyonos and spiritual challenges, Yidden have not forsaken the Torah.” The Rebbe went on to say, “When a baal habayis who works all day comes home exhausted and is nevertheless able to rip himself out of his chair to go to a Daf Yomi shiur it is unquestionably a tremendous zechus and should not be taken lightly! That being said, you still cannot compare

his siyum to this siyum. The siyum of Dirshu is thousands upon thousands of Yidden who are taking tests every month! They had to review and review, toil and toil. Everyone knows that learning in order to take a test is a totally different level of learning. “The zechus that lomdei Dirshu have is that the Torah remains with them. It is not just a guest for a short while! The fact that many different kehillos have emulated Dirshu and designed similar testing programs with some variations is another testament to the tremendous success and zechusim of Dirshu.” In an emotion-laden voice, the Sanzer Rebbe then said, “My heiligeh father would constantly quote the words of Chazal that Yidden will only be redeemed in the zechus of learning. The situation that Klal Yisrael is facing today throughout the world,” the Rebbe continued with great concern, “is terrible! In Eretz Yisrael, different nations want to swallow us up. In chutz la’aretz, it is not much better. It has even reached American shores. Even worse is the spiritual galus! Our youth are being destroyed by the filth of the street that is infiltrating in various ways… “There is only one solution, only one cure – limud haTorah. There is a concept of zeh l’eumas zeh – Hashem pits one thing against the other. Yes,” the Rebbe emphasized, “in our generation, there is so much tumah but there is also Dirshu!” HaGaon HaRav Reuven Feinstein, shlita, Rosh Yeshiva of the Yeshiva of Staten Island, was then honored with reciting the Hadran on the entire Shas. During the Hadran, he stopped to deliver a short dvar Torah wherein he praised Dirshu for engineering an approach where people

could systematically learn Torah in a way that it will remain with them. The Kaddish following the siyum was recited by HaGaon HaRav Aryeh Malkiel Kotler, shlita, Rosh Yeshiva of Beth Medrash Govoha, Lakewood. Rav Shlomo Feivel Schustal: It is as if We Are in Gan Eden! Meanwhile at NJPAC, the chairman, Rav Eliezer Ralbag, rav of the Lakewood Courtyard Shul, introduced HaGaon HaRav Shlomo Feivel Schustal, shlita, Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshiva Tiferes Yerachmiel. Rav Ralbag related, “The first time the words talmid chacham are mentioned in Shas is in Masechta Brachos daf hei. Rashi defines a talmid chacham as a person who is constantly reviewing his learning. The Rosh Yeshiva, Rav Schustal, is known for his in-depth shiurim, but at the same time he understands that we cannot relinquish the ideal of constantly reviewing Shas and has come here to infuse us with chizuk in that regard.” Rav Schustal got up and instantly transformed the giant, multi-tiered NJPAC into what felt like an intimate shiur room by delivering a shiur the way he has been doing for so many decades in the yeshiva. Rav Shlomo Feivel quoted the words of the Maharshal in his sefer Yam Shel Shlomo in a maamar written specifically about a siyum masechta. The Maharshal says it is a tremendous mitzvah even for those who have not completed the masechta to take part in the siyum. He also says it is an obligation to complete the masechta together with the mesaymim. Rav Schustal then cited the Gemara in Shabbos that every time a

person in the yeshiva would make a siyum, Abaye would pay for and make a seudah. Why did Abaye want the zechus to pay for the seudah? Rav Schustal explained the significance that the Maharshal attributes to participating in a siyum, based on the words of the Nefesh Hachaim who says that when one performs a mitzvah a tremendous kedusha is created in Shamayim as a result of that mitzvah, bringing with it tremendous siyata d’Shmaya… This is especially so at the completion of a mitzvah where the light of the mitzvah becomes increasingly stronger and kedusha envelops the person, raising him to an exalted level of ruchniyus and kedusha. The Nefesh Hachaim says it is literally like Gan Eden! “Now,” Rav Schustal said with great feeling, “when we are all here at the completion of this great mitzvah of completing Shas, it is as if we are in Gan Eden!” Rav Schustal then cited the Remah who says that the reason we mention all the sons of Rav Papa when we make a siyum is because Rav Papa, who was a wealthy man, would pay for the seudos given at siyumim. In that merit, his children are mentioned at every siyum. That is why Abaye wanted to pay for the siyumim. Rav Shlomo Feivel concluded, “My dear, beloved Rav Dovid asked me not to mention him, but the Remah (cited above) says that he should be mentioned. He is the one who facilitates these siyumim and the Torah learned for them. He is elevating kavod haTorah! Following Rav Schustal’s drasha, the NJPAC location joined the Prudential location via live hook-up for

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the Sanzer Rebbe’s drasha. This was followed by the Hadran, by HaGaon HaRav Moshe Mordechai Lowy, shlita, Rav, Agudas Yisrael, Toronto. HaGaon HaRav Shlomo Miller, shlita, Rosh Kollel Avreichim of Toronto, recited the Kaddish. The Skverer Dayan, HaGaon HaRav Yechiel Steinmetz, shlita, was honored with beginning the new machzor of Shas after which Rav Dovid Cohen, Rosh Yeshiva of Chevron, and Rav Aharon Toisig, who had both traversed the few blocks from Prudential to NJPAC, addressed the large crowd there. Rav Dovid Hofstedter: “Mi L’Hashem Eilai, Vayeiosfu Eilav Kol Bnei Dirshu!” Meanwhile, back at the Prudential Center, Rabbi Lish introduced the Nasi of Dirshu by quoting Shmuel Hanavi, the way the great posek, HaGaon HaRav Shmuel Wosner, zt”l, would refer to Rav Hofstedter at Dirshu events, “‘Vayehi Dovid maskil b’chol derachov, v’Hashem imo – Dovid was wise in all his ways, and Hashem was with him.’” Rabbi Lish continued, “Rav Wosner would add, ‘Why was Dovid maskil – successful? Because Hashem was with him!’” Rav Hofstedter began by say-

ing, “We just finished the first Dirshu test on the initial thirty blatt learned in the new machzor of Shas. Bli ayin hara, several tens of thousands of people have taken that first test! Who could have believed such a thing?!” Rav Dovid added, “There is a siman, a sign, that there is no more appropriate night than tonight to celebrate the siyum. In tonight’s Daf Yomi, the Gemara tells us that Rav Chiya Bar Abba would review his learning in front of Rav Yochanan every thirty days. Tosafos adds that whatever he had learned in the previous thirty days he reviewed before Rav Yochanan.” The siyum was held on the night of Tu B’Shvat and Rav Hofstedter connected the two. “Tonight, is a time of hischadshus both in gashmiyus, and in Torah. The Torah is compared to a tree and Klal Yisrael is compared to a tree as the pasuk says, ‘for a person is a tree of the field.’ “The fifteenth of Shevat is a ‘Rosh Hashanah’ for trees. The Chiddushei HaRim says that all the chiddushim that will be discovered throughout the year descend from Heaven on Tu B’Shvat. It is the day when the wellsprings of Torah and chochma open. “Klal Yisrael came to Marah.

They were not able to drink the waters there because they were bitter. The Midrash says that they couldn’t taste sweetness in the water because their deeds were bitter. The only way to cure such bitterness is through putting something sweet into the water. By immersing themselves in the sweetness of Torah, in the yam haTalmud with toil and hard work, they transformed themselves from biter into sweet. “In some way, we are all like that. When we start learning Torah on a low level, we often cannot taste the sweetness of Torah. Through our ameilus, through really working on it, we transform ourselves step after step, constantly elevating ourselves to taste the increasing sweetness of the water of Torah. That is the power of hischadshus! “Who would have believed that after the darkness of the Holocaust, Klal Yisrael and Torah would again flourish? Did anyone back then ever dream that today we would be at the Dirshu World Siyum?! “In our generation there are so many tools to clarify and elucidate the Torah,” said Rabbi Hofstedter. “The tools may have changed but the tachlis, the ultimate purpose of learning, is and has always been ameilus, yegias haTorah and kabbalas

ol Torah. If we use these tools just to make our lives easier, we won’t taste those sweet waters. “We must question ourselves on this great night both as individuals and as a tzibbur. Are we going to be complacent,” Rav Dovid asked, “are we going to be satisfied with superficial learning, with superficial lives, with bitter waters or will we strive to plumb the depths and transform them into sweet waters?! “As we have heard from the gedolim here, we are being attacked in many ways. Everything that is good and right, dignified, virtuous and proper is under attack. Yiddishkeit and Torah are under attack! We are at war, a war where the Yiddishe neshama is being attacked,” exclaimed Rav Hofstedter. “But we must fight back. We must sound the battle cry of Mi L’Hashem Elai. At that time the bnei Levi gathered around Moshe Rabbeinu with mesirus nefesh. We have the power to be bnei Levi with amal and yegiah. “So tonight, the night of this great simcha,” Rav Dovid thundered, “we sound the battle cry of ‘Mi l’Hashem eilai, vayeiosfu eilav kol bnei Dirshu!’ Let us accept upon ourselves more Torah, more siyumim, more chiddushim, more kavod haTorah and kavod haShechina!”

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Rav Elya Ber Wachtfogel, Shlita: Torah Becomes Absorbed in One’s Very Essence! The very passionate kabbalas ol malchus shamayim led by the Vizhnitzer Rebbe, shlita, of Monsey, was followed by a beautiful musical interlude in enthusiastic celebration of the simchas haTorah. HaGaon HaRav Elya Ber Wachtfogel, shlita, was honored with starting the new machzor of Shas. He first gave a remarkable drasha. He quoted the Midrash in Parshas Nitzavim that states, “A clever man and a fool entered a beis medrash and saw people learning Torah. They asked, ‘How does one learn?’ They were told, ‘It is a process. You start with Torah, Neviim, Kesuvim, Talmud, halachos, aggados…’ The fool says, ‘How can I do so much?’

and doesn’t try. The clever one says, ‘I will start with one pasuk and progress slowly.’ This is akin to someone who sees a loaf of bread very high up. The fool says, ‘Forget it, I will never reach it.’ The clever person brings a ladder…” Rav Elya Ber asked, “Isn’t the fool right? The Torah is vast. A regular person cannot complete the Torah in 1,000 years!” His profound answer is deeply relevant to Dirshu. He said, “The fool made a critical mistake. He estimated his capabilities in accordance with the abilities he had at that moment. He didn’t realize that after learning even one pasuk, one blatt Gemara, one acquires a different head, a different heart, different kidneys. Torah is that way. When you learn one masechta, the next one becomes easier! Rav Saadiah Gaon says that after learning for

ten years a person can learn in one day more than he learned ten years earlier in an entire year! “Why? Because Torah becomes absorbed in one’s very essence! It becomes his essence! It is an upward spiral. That is what learning with Dirshu does. Superficial learning of a daf Gemara does not give you that koach. But learning and reviewing with accountability can enable everyone to be the clever chacham who ends up knowing the entire Torah!” After Rav Elya Ber spoke, a moving video was shown describing the Dirshu revolution built on the ashes of the Holocaust, and the rejuvenation of Torah in our time. Then, one of the most climactic moments of the night arrived. As the music began to play with all the various singers and bands joining

together in achdus, the entire assemblage erupted in song. The gedolei Yisrael were holding hands and dancing. All the mesaymei haShas were invited down to the floor of the Prudential Center to dance with them. As the circle went around and around, the feelings of simchas haTorah, of true Torah accomplishment, were simply indescribable. Only someone who experienced that simcha can feel what it was like. Perhaps a most fitting conclusion to this historic Dirshu World Siyum was shared by a menahel of a prominent mossad hachinuch. “What can I tell you?” he said. “I was blown away. I came home late after traveling both ways and a long, inspiring night at the event. I was exhausted but simply felt that I couldn’t go to bed before learning a blatt Gemara!”

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Dirshu Women Tell Their Story Interviews with Nishei Dirshu at the Newark Symphony Hall World Siyum By Esther Birnbaum

rs. H.* emotionally shared her story of how Dirshu has changed her life and the life of her family. Wiping away tears of emotion, she exclaimed, “What can I say?! Before my husband turned thirty he didn’t learn! He was simply not a learner. One day, after his thirtieth birthday, he decided to join a learning program with tests. I was, and am, thrilled! It is now six years later and my… husband…learns! He is up before six and learns. He goes to learn again from 8:45-10:30 at night. His day is full of learning! I am so thrilled; I could never even describe my joy. Is it hard? Certainly! But I wouldn’t trade it for anything! “Our family has never had an easy time with parnassah. Interestingly enough, despite the fact that earning a parnassah has become even harder in recent years, my husband feels that it has become easier because his life has become so much more meaningful ever since he started learning. The weight of parnassah simply doesn’t hang over his head the way it used to! “Also, my son, a fifteenyear-old bachur, has been struggling with learning. I was so worried about him. One day, my husband reassured me, ‘Don’t worry so much. I truly believe that the more he sees me learning, the more he will want to push himself to learn!’ “Do you know what? Today, he went out and bought for himself a sefer with Yiddish translation. He told me that today he is starting to learn…before he goes to the siyum haShas!” -Mrs. H.*, Boro Park, New York “It has become part of

family life. Every time one of my children asks my husband a halachic question, often very simple halachos, instead of immediately calling a rav to ask, my husband exclaims, ‘One minute! I just learned the halacha!’ (My husband added that when learning with Dirshu he always ‘JUST learned that halacha!’ The constant chazara creates a system of always learning, relearning and relearning yet again!) He then proceeds to share his newfound knowledge with all of us. “His excitement at being able to use his knowledge of Mishnah Berurah, knowledge that he has learned and been tested on repeatedly

ing and teaching, first in kollel and then as maggid shiur and rosh yeshiva from the time we got married straight through until today when we are marrying off grandchildren! But I want to give over a message to all of the wonderful women whose husbands learn and specifically those whose husbands learn in Dirshu, taking monthly tests for which they must spend hours preparing: Yes! It is hard! It is beautiful and I would never have traded a life of Torah for anything! Throughout my child-raising years, throughout chasunas, simchos and any other milestone in life, I gave up my husband’s help so that he could learn! Every sin-

that he has joined Dirshu, he describes how the constant chazara, the constant review helps him retain what he has learned. I and my children are so proud of him! So proud that he now finished Shas for the second time! “When I was at one of Dirshu’s Shabbosim of Chizuk, another woman told me how she awards her children with a treat on the day that Tatty takes his test. I have adopted the same practice, and it makes each of the children feel like a part of his learning. They revel in the siyumim which we make. They know that each time I will bake or cook something extra special and they look forward to it, often even asking, ‘Mommy,

“My husband is learning Torah! He is raking in millions!” since Dirshu began its daily Daf HaYomi B’Halacha, Mishnah Berurah learning program, is indescribable! Even more importantly, my children, who always looked up to their father, have developed an even greater sense of esteem for him, a comfort in the realization that he knows answers to many of their questions! “The actual learning in Dirshu’s daily halacha program might not take up an enormous chunk of his day, but the knowledge that he has gained and continues gaining, permeates every minute of every day!” -Mrs. E.*, Passaic, New Jersey With a gentle smile and passion sparking from her eyes, Rebbetzin Z.* explains, “Truthfully, my husband is not part of any specific learning program. His life is learning. He has been learn-

gle woman who gives up her husband’s help so that he can learn, who supports her husband’s avodas hakodesh, is a Dirshu woman who is doresh Hashem, who is seeking out Hashem and is earning untold sechar for every minute! Dirshu wives – chazak ve’amatz! “I did it, I am doing it and so can you!” -Rebbetzin Z.*, Boro Park, New York The words roll from her mouth, words of excitement and thrill, words of a woman who does not think of herself as sacrificing for her husband’s learning. “It is not hard for me that my husband learns all the time; that he always has a sefer in hand even when he is working! It is not hard for me – but I see how hard he works! It is all to his credit that he is always learning, that he dedicates his life to learning… Now

when is the next test? When is the next siyum?’ It is truly a wonderful zechus to be part of the Dirshu family!” -Mrs. T.*, Lakewood, New Jersey “You want to know how Dirshu has impacted our lives? Just as an example: my four-year-old daughter recently exclaimed that she wants to be born again [as a boy] so that she too can learn the heilige Torah! Recently, I was talking with a cousin who is not yet part of the Dirshu family and she explained how her kids have been displaying pictures of themselves as ‘Dirshu Yidden.’ In our home we don’t need pictures on the wall; we are living it! “I will share with you the story of the month of Nissan in my house: It is Rosh Chodesh when all kollel men have vacation. My husband, however, is on vacation only

from taking lunch breaks between sedarim! Now he learns straight. It is during this time of year that I feel so rich! Yes, having his help is tempting yet I measure the value of its worth against the value of his Torah learning! As I juggle the regular busy routines in addition to the Pesach cleaning and cooking, I rejoice in the privilege of adjusting supper time to my husband’s ‘vacation’ schedule. It is such a zechus! I constantly assess, when I need his help, if I really need it or not. The temptation to enable another hour of his Torah learning is so big! Baruch Hashem, with this simcha shel Torah, Hashem makes Pesach come in with minimal time on my husband’s part. Sometimes, the yetzer hara really works hard, telling me, “It’s bein hazmanim…your husband should be taking care of this, helping out with that…” But I know that he is baruch Hashem preparing for his next bechina! “That’s when I imagine my husband as a worker in a hardware store or Pesach grocery with pre-Pesach hours extending way beyond the normal. I imagine how much I would appreciate the extra funds. Knowing that he must have it very difficult dealing with all of those tense, irritable customers, I make sure that he has a hot meal awaiting him when he comes home. There is no way I can disturb him during the busiest parnassah season! “And then, the joy bubbles up inside of me. My husband is learning Torah! He is raking in millions! The work feels easier. I continue choosing golden moments of Torah over a bit of assistance. You cannot imagine the joy when I see the results on his bechinas! How exhilarating!” -Mrs. N.*, Lakewood, New Jersey

The Jewish Home | FEBRUARY 20, 2020

FEBRUARY 20, 2020 | The Jewish Home

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As part of a recent learning incentive trip, Rabbi Leibe Wolf’s 10th grade shiur at Mesivta Ateres Yaakov visited with Rav Avrohom Schorr, shlita, in Flatbush. Talmidim were spellbound by Rav Schorr’s powerful divrei Torah and had the opportunity to receive brachos from the rav following the shiur.

Rambam Hike Club Blazes a Trail By Dovid Edelkopf

his past Sunday the Rambam Hike Club conquered their first mountain of the year: Pine Swamp Mountain in Harriman State Park. Led by their bold and dashingly handsome leader, Dovid Edelkopf, the group hiked 5.7 miles and climbed just under 600 feet in elevation! The group had a blast learning about the geology of Harriman State Park and on the way saw the abandoned remains of what once was an industrious mining town, including stone houses, a church, and a cemetery – all from the 1800s.

On the hike itself, the group passed by several abandoned mines, including the remains of the tragically collapsed Pine Swamp Mines, as well as the Hogencamp Mines. Although we didn’t enter any of them (it’s never safe to enter an abandoned mine!), some members did manage to find some fine pieces of quartz, magnetite, and even pyrite on the trail to take home as souvenirs. After the hike, the group enjoyed a delicious barbecue before heading back to Rambam. All in all, the Hike Club’s first hike of the year was a massive success. The next scheduled hike is for May 17.

Little Friends’ Gan Hosts Family Event

n February 17, the Hebrew Program at Little Friends’ Gan hosted an incredible Reptile Show. The event was for current students, next year’s students, and their parents. The show was extremely captivating and informative. The show was interactive and featured turtles, snakes and lizards, and ended with a live baby alligator. It was a perfect way to spend the morning on a legal holiday off-day. This was one of the events in a series of entertainment and educational programs that Little Friends’ Gan provides for their families. The students at LFG also enjoy many professional extracurricular classes

standards, as well as a strong focus on Judaics and a love for Torah. The school day with the Hebrew program runs from 8:30 - 3:45; there is an extended option from 8 a.m. until 4:30 p.m. This makes it one of the most convenient options in the neighborhood for 3- and 4-year-olds (children are considered “4 years old” for 2020 enrollment if they were born in 2016). LFG also has a popular day camp – the upcoming summer is already sold out! in music, dance, and more. Little Friends’ Gan is a legal and licensed daycare for 3- and 4-yearolds located in the heart of Far Rock-

away. It has earned a sterling reputation for its warm, loving environment that stresses an important emphasis on high academic and social growth

Little Friends’ Gan can be contacted at 718-327-3287 or via email at littlefriendsgan@gmail.com.

The Jewish Home | FEBRUARY 20, 2020

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Siach Yitzchok celebrated their Shalsheles Melave Malka in their new building last week

Rav Yaakov Feitman, Kehillas Bais Yehudah Tzvi, Cedarhurst, was a guest speaker at the Kehal Premishlan Melaveh Malka, Rav Shlomo Ben Zion Herbst, Morah D'asra, in Brooklyn, last Motzei Shabbos

An Uplifting Reunion for Shevach Alumnae

n Thursday evening, January 23, Shevach High School held its annual reunion for the Shevach graduates currently studying in Eretz Yisrael. Over twenty girls came together in Machon Raaya to enjoy a greatly anticipated evening. The excitement in the room was palpable and the Shevach warmth was reignited as the girls convened to share their unique experiences with one another. After all enjoyed partaking in a Melava Malka, Shevach Principal Rebbetzin Rochelle Hirtz spoke to the girls about the exclusive opportunity they are having learning in Eretz Yisrael. She encouraged the girls to maximize all the learning and the moments of inspiration and to consider each as an additional building block in the foundation of their lives. The Shevach alumnae all loved

hearing from their former principal, reminiscent of their four wonderful years they had at Shevach High School. Rebbetzin Hirtz then asked the girls to each individually share her reflections of the last five months and set goals for herself for the second semester of learning. The comments made by the girls clearly reflected how this year truly is a year of growth for them. In the words of one of the girls: “This year in Eretz Yisrael has made me think and ask myself: Is Torah a part of your life or is your life a part of Torah?” This thought resonated with many of the girls there. The young ladies all left inspired to make the most of this wonderful opportunity afforded them, confident in the strength of the foundation they were building for a life of Torah and mitzvos.

Winter Break Learning at MTA

TA launched a new learning program to help talmidim focus on their growth and encourage them to engage in limud haTorah over winter break. Talmidim were excited to participate and logged more than 25,000 minutes of Torah learning during bein hazmanim! “At MTA, we teach our talmidim the value of always making time to learn Torah,” said Associate Principal Rabbi Shimon Schenker. “It’s easy to

learn Torah when we are in yeshiva; the challenge is figuring out how we are going to make time for learning when we don’t have shiur every day. This program truly helped our talmidim realize how important it is to make time for learning, which will set them up for success in the future.” Talmidim earned one raffle ticket for every 10 minutes of learning. Mazal Tov to the raffle winners, Dovid Wartelsky (‘20), Donny Book (‘22), and Gavriel Barber (‘23)!

Did you know? The longest word in the English language is 189,819 letters long (we will not write it out here!)

FEBRUARY 20, 2020 | The Jewish Home

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Yeshiva University Announces YU-MVP, A Dynamic Alumni/Student Partnership

he Career Center, in partnership with the Office of Alumni Affairs, is thrilled to announce the launch of its new Yeshiva University Mentoring Volunteer Program, or YU-MVP. This algorithm-based “matching for mentoring” platform will pull from over 25,000 alumni around the globe to create a network of volunteer mentors dedicated to offering undergraduate students professional career guidance. YU News sat down with Susan Bauer, executive director of YU’s Career Center and principal designer of the program, to discuss this new initiative.

mvp and sign up using their email address or LinkedIn profile.

How can alumni and others get involved? The program is open to our alumni and all professionals who want to mentor our students. Interested mentors can join by visiting yu.edu/

How will the matching process work? YU-MVP works by matching preferences. Volunteer mentors select their geographic area, industry expertise, and areas in which they

Can a non-YU alum join the YU-MVP program? Absolutely. Parents, relatives, and all those willing to give back to the next generation of Jewish leaders are welcome to become part of the network. It is a multidisciplinary platform, so professionals of all backgrounds are encouraged to mentor. We strongly encourage those living outside the New York City area to join as well as any students seeking mentorship from those they do not already know in their communities.

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can provide assistance. Students are then recommended to connect with mentors whose preferences most closely align with their own. After the matches are made, the students are then expected to reach out to their recommended mentors who will, in turn, then select the students with whom they wish to work. Can a mentor work with more than one student? Yes, each mentor sets his/her own personal parameters based on their availability. Are there any industries that you would like to recruit mentors from? It is a multidisciplinary platform open to all students, so professionals from all backgrounds are encouraged to join. We have a greater number of students within certain disciplines than others, so a mentor should not get discouraged if a request for mentorship is not made immediately. Is this program for graduate students as well? Currently, it is being rolled out as a platform for undergraduate students. It will expand to the graduate student population in the future. What would a mentor partnership look like? The mentor-student partnership can take many forms. Depending upon geographical location, it may be an in-person arrangement or a

virtual connection in which résumés are reviewed using FaceTime or informational interviews are conducted via phone or email. The mentor and student can customize the experience that works best for them. For example, during the pilot phase of the program, many mentors opened their offices to students to discuss topics such as Shabbat and yom tov work challenges and “Day in The Life” experiences. What cities will you have mentors in? The goal is for YU-MVP to have a global presence. We have many international students studying at Yeshiva University and many students interested in relocating after graduation, whether that means making aliyah or moving to another city, state or country. Anything else you would like to add? Everyone is welcome to give back to our students, and we appreciate all who get involved. This experience can be life-altering for both mentors and students. Our community is global, connected, generous, and mission-driven. I encourage everyone to participate in this exciting initiative. If you are an alumnus/na and have questions, please contact Dina Burcat at burcat@yu.edu. If you are a friend of Yeshiva University and not an alumnus/na, and have questions, please contact Matthew Garcia at matthew.garcia@yu.edu.

The Jewish Home | FEBRUARY 20, 2020

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Cupcake Wars at HAFTR Middle School

un, adrenaline, teamwork, creativity, excitement – those are just some of the words that come to mind when thinking about the Cupcake Wars event that took place at HAFTR Middle School this past Motzaei Shabbat. Seventh grade girls were divided into eight teams and competed to decorate cupcakes that were beautifully and creatively designed, working under significant time constraints. Challenges included designing cupcakes representing HAFTR Middle School as well as different chagim. Students then presented their cupcakes to a panel of judges consisting of Mrs. Einat Rabinovich, Mr. Daniel Strook, and Rabbi Moshe Yachnes. Dr. Yali Werzberger, HAFTR’s Director of Guidance and PPS and the program’s organizer, explained,

“The way students worked together as a team to design, innovate, and create was truly gratifying. Students learned how to manage conflict and differences of opinion and channeled their energy towards the greater good of their team.” On Monday, students viewed a

Pink Day at HAFTR HS

By Deborah Becker

rom the moment we walked through the doors into HAFTR High School, we saw pink everywhere. Streamers decorated the ceiling, pink balloons floated in the air, and HAFTR students wore pink in proud support of Sharsheret and Breast Cancer Awareness. Sharsheret is widely known for its work advocating breast cancer research and awareness. All ninth grade girls went to the Beit Midrash for an assembly, none thinking much of it. We sat back in our seats. This is when Rebecca Cohen began speaking and introduced herself as the coordinator of Sharsheret, Long Island. Mrs. Cohen then introduced Mrs. Fran Mendelowitz who discussed her own experience with breast cancer, and how we can all be self-advocates. Mrs.

Mendelowitz delineated three things that all women must do: 1) be proactive, 2) self-advocate, and 3) get help when needed. She then started talking about how she herself was shocked into breast cancer awareness when her maternal grandmother, and later her mother, contracted the disease. Mrs. Mendelowitz in short order became proactive in her own breast cancer vigilance. When an ultrasound discovered early breast cancer, Mrs. Mendelowitz proactively averted further difficulties and went on, with the help of friends, family, and organizations, to beat cancer and now spread her story. A powerful Sharsheret video followed this speech, and students exited the room, a new feeling of appreciation and gratitude among them for the health Hashem gives us every day.

slideshow highlighting the fun they had at the event and announcing the winners of Cupcake Wars, created by Ms. Alyson Jacobs. Congratulations to our second place winners, Cupcake Bobs, and the first place winners, Funfetti. A tremendous thank you also goes

to Mr. Gold, Mrs. Rappaport, Mrs. Mari, Mrs. Landau, Ms. Jacobs, Mrs. Rabinovich, Rebbetzin Teitelbaum, Mrs. Kirsch, Ms. Wolfson, Mrs. Hucul, Rabbi Yachnes, Mr. Strook, Einav Hahami, and Hadas Rachmani for all things big and small in ensuring the success of this program.

Healthy Eating at IVDU

his month at IVDU, there has been a focus on healthy eating and learning about the foods that help keep us healthy. Following up on the Tu B’Shvat theme of fruits and new growth of the trees, every classroom chose a different fruit to research. Research was done to find out where the fruits grow, what can be made with them including making juice out of the different fruit,

and how they can be enjoyed. The students had to work collaboratively, as a team, to complete their project goals. Each class had to research the fruit and create a display board to present to the other classes in the school. All the students learned so much about healthy eating and enjoyed tasting the different fruits and juices that they made.

FEBRUARY 20, 2020 | The Jewish Home

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Shulamith Buzzes with Excitement

hulamith Middle Division was buzzing with excitement during last Tuesday’s annual school spelling bee. In Division A, twelve fifth and sixth graders competed, while the audience sat mesmerized, waiting to see who would emerge victorious. The bee ended in a tie between fifth grader Chana Meisels and sixth grader Kayla Etra, who were declared co-winners of the event. In Division B, the excitement was through the roof, as the field was whittled down from the initial twelve contestants to three young ladies who battled it out for victory, successfully

spelling increasingly difficult words. Spectators were awed to hear sixth graders Meital Bhatia, Kelli Faivish,

YCQ Heads to the Torah Bowl Playoffs

By Channah Owadeyah

he Yeshiva of Central Queens Torah Bowl team, after a season of preparation by their excellent coaches and a season of hard work and successful competitions, is heading to the playoffs. Early in the season, the students learned the parashiot of Shemini and Acharei Mot and their respective Rashis. In Shemini they learned about the deaths of Aharon’s two sons, Nadav and Avihu, and about the kosher and non-kosher animals and how to tell which are kosher. In Acharei Mot, team members discussed various korbanot, their laws, and how and when to offer up a sacrifice. After winning their first and second competition, Gabriella Badalov, a team member, said, “When we won I felt very proud and accomplished. I realized that if you try hard, you will

succeed.” On Thursday, February 6, YCQ competed in their third Torah Bowl meet. The students studied the parashiot of Kedoshim and Emor. In Kedoshim, they learned various laws and their punishments. In Emor it talks about kohanim and for whose funeral procession they can become impure for. The meet was held at Ramaz. The YCQ girls team went on to easily handle Manhattan Day School (twice), Yeshiva of Flatbush, and Ramaz as well. The YCQ girls’ team plowed through the competition, winning all four of its games while never trailing behind. The YCQ boys’ team won three of its four games and had a great season. Every student worked hard preparing, and their hard work certainly showed. The YCQ girls team ended the season in first place with a perfect score of 12-0. Next stop…the playoffs.

and Hadassah Klahr correctly spell words as therapeutic, tumultuous, incomprehensible, and prestigious. In a

nail-biting finale, Meital successfully spelled “senile” and “laryngitis” to take first place in the competition.

Math is Fun

“D

o you agree that 8 is more than 5?” “Let’s figure out how many the two dice add up to by counting on.” “I know there are 7 because there are only 3 empty boxes in the ten frame.” These are examples of the delightful conversations heard daily at Shulamith ECC as Pre 1-A children work on their math skills. Each young mathematician is paired up with a partner to work on important foundational skills that will prepare them for first grade and beyond. Every partnership is given specific differentiated math games on their level that reinforce big ideas that are central to the learning of mathematics. Student pairs have their very own math bins filled with game boards and pieces needed for their carefully selected math games. Help Me Get Home and Ocean

Adventure are games that partners play to reinforce their understanding of one to one correspondence and cardinality. Children play Roll and Record to help them “conserve and subitize.” As children master the big ideas, they move up the tiers to more difficult games such as Near Doubles Coverups, How Many Am I Hiding? and Toss the Chips. These games encourage children to count on, count back, part – whole relationships, and doubles. This is a far cry from the traditional workbook/worksheet model. Research shows that young children learn best through concrete and meaningful hands-on experiences. The opportunity to play these math games provides children with a solid foundation from which they can build an understanding of abstract mathematical ideas. And everyone loves to play games!

The Jewish Home | FEBRUARY 20, 2020

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Wellness Week at Shulamith HS

Rav Moshe Krasnow and his seventh grade talmidim of Yeshiva Darchei Torah visiting the Living Torah Museum in Brooklyn, NY

Tu B’Shvat at BYAM

u B’Shvat was in the air last week at Bais Yaakov Ateres Miriam. The talmidos from first through seventh grade gathered for an assembly where Mrs. Zytman explained the different minhagim, as well as the significance of this special day. What better way to show our gratitude to Hashem’s trees than by enjoying the “fruits” of their labor. The girls enjoyed all of the fruit-based snacks that were giv-

en out, and, judging by the smiles on their faces, everyone enjoyed. The highlight of the day was presented by our precious preschoolers, who designed a life-size tree that the whole school could see and enjoy! Each talmidah wrote her name on her very own leaf, creating a beautiful, lush tree blooming with our nachas. B’ezras Hashem, may all of our peiros continue to be so sweet!

ast week was Wellness Week at Shulamith High School. The week was designed to improve the personal wellbeing of Shulamith High School students through activities to create a positive outlook on all aspects of health. Students had the privilege to hear from Rachel Tuchman, licensed mental health counselor and Shulamith parent, speak about positive body image. Students gained a new perspective on positive body image and the importance of self-acceptance. After the opening workshop, students had the opportunity to select from eight elective sessions, including Yoga, The Benefits of Walking, Body Positivity in the Age of Social Media, Cooking with Color, Art and Biases about Body Image, and the Torah’s Perspective of Health. Tuesday, Emotional and Mental Wellness Day, featured representatives from Madriagos who presented drug and alcohol prevention and awareness. For Spiritual Wellness, students were excited to hear a presentation by Rabbi Ya’akov Trump, which was followed by a period of mindful meditation. The week con-

tinued with Pink Day, where SHS students spent the afternoon with representatives from Sharsheret and held a fundraiser to raise money for this important organization. Afterwards, students enjoyed a Sharsheret-themed Cake Wars competition. Mrs. Michal Simon, licensed psychotherapist who works with individuals and families with anxiety and trauma, spoke about the importance of advocating for oneself. The week concluded with an incredible Women’s Health Fair, run by Director of Student Activities Ms. Esty Munk. Representatives at the fair included J-Screen, Sharsheret, Shalom Task Force, as well as EMTs, health coaches, and our own faculty presenting their own health related passions. SHS students wrapped up the exciting week with a new, positive outlook on mental and physical health. A huge gratitude to Dean of Students Mrs. Ricky Gaerman who organized the entire week, the guest speakers who shared their stories, and the student representatives who helped put the awesome week together!

FEBRUARY 20, 2020 | The Jewish Home

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The Ganger Early Childhood at TAG is learning about different healthy habits this month. This week they learned about how important it is to drink lots of water. Each girl received a water bottle with the month’s motto, “I’m a TAG Talmida B’riah.”

Shulamith Literacy Week

Gerald Fierst with six graders

By Tirzah Luchins

or their culminating Literacy Week Event, on February 13, students from Shulamith Middle Division sat mesmerized in their auditorium and listened to Gerald Fierst’s entertaining stories. Mr. Fierst is one of America’s most praised storytellers. As an accomplished performer, he has appeared throughout the U.S., Europe, and

Asia. He’s told original stories, stories from his own Jewish tradition, and stories from world folklore. Eighth grader Adina Spiegel thought that Mr. Fierst’s stories were interesting, as well as relaxing. Another eighth grader, Adina Traube, said, “It was very fun and interactive, and I enjoyed all of his funny voices. It was also really great because everyone was included.”

The Five Towns Premier Rehab and Nursing participated in Go Red Day, a national movement to raise awareness of women’s heart health. Free blood pressure checks and education took place. The Five Towns Premier is committed to joining the fight against heart disease.

MTA Represents Indonesia at YUNMUN

TA’s Model UN Team was excited to participate in the Yeshiva University National Model United Nations (YUNMUN). The conference, held at the Crowne Plaza in Stamford, CT, from Sunday, February 9 through Tuesday, February 11, was attended by representatives from 48 yeshiva high schools from across North America, as well as South Africa and Brazil. MTA team members represented Indonesia and participated in 15 different UN committees, from Peaceful Use of Outer Space to Counter Terrorism. The team delivered position papers they worked hard to prepare

over the past few months, advocated for Indonesia’s interests, and worked to form coalitions to pass resolutions addressing global problems. Congratulations to Moshe Inger (‘20) on winning a Best Delegate award for his work on the International Criminal Court, Yeshurin Sorscher (‘21) on winning an Honorable Mention for his work on the Disarmament and International Security Committee, and Ezra Nissel (‘20), who was recognized by the Middle East Summit. The team has already started preparing for its next competition at the Heschel School in May.

The Jewish Home | FEBRUARY 20, 2020

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Madraigos Addresses TikTok

n Wednesday, January 15, Madraigos presented a program to all students in Shulamith High School on how to responsibly use a social media application called TikTok. This program was an opportunity for the girls to channel their knowledge of TikTok into a more personalized and thoughtful decision-making process. Miriam Schiller, LMSW, led breakout sessions with students in both group and individual education models. The girls enjoyed a lively debate on the pros and cons of the app and asked many questions. Students were each given a scenario relating to posting videos on TikTok and were encouraged to creatively write an ending for each scenario. While writing their unique ending, each girl was wary of who might be viewing the video, the feelings of those involved, and the ultimate consequences of the shared material.

The girls shared their thoughts and opinions privately and appreciated the opportunity to do so. Some girls expressed that they never really thought about the meaning behind the posting, rather they were just “living in the moment.” One girl remarked, “I was very confident with my online presence on TikTok. But now I feel like it’s okay to ask ques-

tions and want to be more mindful about my activity on the app.” Discussion ensued on how TikTok relates to self-respect, self-esteem, modesty, reputation, social engagement and overall well-being. The girls completed the program with a newfound sense of being able to balance having fun with more responsible thinking and actions.

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Shulamith Welcomes Editor of TJH

Shoshana with Shulamith principals

By: Tirzah Luchins

he Shulamith School for Girls eighth graders were honored with a visit by Shoshana Soroka, editor of The Jewish Home, last

week. Shoshana spoke about what she does, editing and sometimes writing articles for the paper. A lot of girls found her talk very interesting. Adina Spiegel said, “It was real-

Shoshana with yearbook editors Racheli Gelbtuch and Sarah Farkas

ly fun to learn about what goes into making a finished article. I hope that I can use the advice she gave on how to write a good article in the future.” Atara Lifshitz added, “It was nice

to see that behind the newspaper that many people read there is a process and team who put in a lot of effort to make everything come together.”

There’s Harmony in the Community with JEP/Nageela

By Jennifer S. Zwiebel

his past weekend, Lawrence High School’s auditorium was packed to capacity for two nights of sold-out shows as JEP/ Nageela hosted Harmony XIII. Thousands of proud moms, bubbies, sisters, aunts and friends came to enjoy their star performers Motzei Shabbos and Sunday nights. The program included 18 full dance and songs choreographed, directed, and performed by more than 400 girls and women from the Five Towns and Far Rockaway communities. “It was an incredible honor for

JEP/Nageela to partner with the Harmony team. Our mission goals are the same: inclusion of all Jewish people encouraging and supporting each other to help strengthen ourselves as individuals as well as a Jewish nation as a whole,” said Mrs. Basi Shenker, founding director, JEP/Nageela. Attendees received a full Harmony XIII Playbill featuring the program schedule, list of participants, “shout-outs” to their special performer, and generous community partners. Sponsors for Harmony XIII include Gourmet Glatt; The Mishkowitz Family; Steven Krauss,

DDS; Pin It Realty, Junee/Junee Jr.; American Cool Air, Maidenbaum; Rubin Orthodontics; SHMA Camps; Fame; Spring; Nutrition by Tanya; Tiffany Dry Cleaners; The Jewish Home; 5TJT; Green Home Solutions; VentRight; and Mosquito Shield.

There will be one more Harmony XIII performance this Motzei Shabbos, February 22, which is sold out. DVDs of Harmony XIII will be available for purchase. For more information, visit jepli.org/harmony or call 516-374-1528.

Did you know? The only letter that does not appear in any of the names of the states of the United States is the letter Q

The Jewish Home | FEBRUARY 20, 2020

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Rav Yitzchok Spiegel and his seventh grade talmidim of Yeshiva Darchei Torah with Rav Yeruchim Olshin, shlita, Rosh Yeshiva, Beis Medrash Govoha, after the Rosh Yeshiva farhered the boys on their learning during his visit to the Far Rockaway area.

10 Ways the Elderly Can Avoid Financial Abuse By Monet Binder, Esq.

lthough people are living longer, they are not necessarily living healthier. As time goes on, because of illness, disability or cognitive impairments, there may be an increased need to rely and depend on others for health care and financial management. This dependency can make seniors susceptible to financial abuse. Savings, investments, and personal belongings accumulated over decades also often make seniors attractive targets for predators, whether the predator is a fraudulent solicitor or a care provider who sees an opportunity to be paid more than an hourly wage. When we’re considering measures to protect our precious elderly, transparency provides the strongest abuse protection. If others, such as family members, are involved with the senior’s finances, either possible predators will see that no opportunity exists to take advantage of the senior, or if a senior has already been targeted, the family members and/or professionals can step in to keep any fraud from going too far. Here are some steps seniors, or their loved ones, can take to prevent financial abuse. 1. Arrange for account oversight Make sure that someone close to the senior has access to his or her accounts to be able to see if anything unusual is going on. For instance, large checks being made out or larger-than-usual cash withdrawals from ATMs are red flags. The oversight can be through copies of monthly statements or online access to accounts. 2. Create joint accounts A joint account with someone gives them oversight as well as the ability to write checks, make investment decisions, and take steps, if necessary, to protect the funds in the account. It also avoids probate, making the transition somewhat easier at the owner’s death. However, make sure you only add the name of someone you really trust to the account because it can also be an avenue for financial abuse if the joint owner becomes the perpetrator.

3. Use a Revocable Trust Revocable Trusts can be useful for a number of reasons. They include all of the benefits of joint accounts, with few of the drawbacks. Your Revocable Trust gives someone you trust access to your accounts and the ability to step in seamlessly if you become disabled. Unlike a joint account, it does not give the trustee any ownership interest in the account. If, for instance, you had four children but named one as a co-owner of your joint accounts, at your death she would have the legal right to keep the funds rather than share them with her siblings. That would not be the case with a Revocable Trust. 4. Visit often Nothing prevents financial abuse or stops it in its tracks better than frequent visits by loved ones. Either the potential perpetrator will see that he can’t isolate the senior and take advantage of the person or family members or friends will notice the abuse before it goes too far. 5. Get help paying bills If someone helps you pay your bills, they will help you make sure that you’re not letting anything slip through cracks or paying something that shouldn’t be paid. They will be able to help you sort through your mail and determine what is important and what is not. 6. Use a limited credit card Credit cards are now available that allow another person to monitor the activity of the cardholder and to limit both the amount he spends and where he can spend it. 7. Sign up for do not call registry It is quite easy to register your telephone number with the Federal Trade Commission’s Do Not Call Registry either online at www.donotcall. gov or by calling 888.382.1222. While this may not stop someone intent on defrauding a senior, it should help reduce calls from salespeople. 8. Sign up for Nomorobo You can sign up for Nomorobo to block robo-calls. Unfortunately, it does not work with all telephone providers, including Verizon.

9. Opt out of mail solicitations At www.dmachoice.org, the Direct Marketing Association permits you to limit the number of catalogs, credit card offers, and other direct mail pieces you or a loved one receives. You may well ask why the Direct Marketing Association does this. The answer is that they don’t want to waste their print and mail costs sending to consumers who have no interest in the product being marketed. 10. Consult with an Elder Law attorney An elder law attorney can help set up a Revocable Trust and Durable Power of Attorney to assist with financial management, advise on the best protective steps to take in each situation, and provide additional oversight to discourage financial abuse. While there’s no foolproof measure you can take that will both prevent financial fraud and leave you or your loved one with at least some independence and control over his or her finances, the steps described above can make the world a safer financial place. Just remember what was said at the beginning: isolation is a breeding ground for financial abuse (as well as depression and other ills). Social involvement is the best protection. To learn more about how a power of attorney can help you, you can send her an email at monet@mbinderlaw.com or call 718-514-7575. Monet Binder, Esq., serves Brooklyn, Queens, and Long Island, dedicated to protecting families, their legacies, and values. All halachic documents are approved by the Bais Havaad Halacha Center in Lakewood, under the direction of Rabbi Dovid Grossman and the guidance of Harav Shmuel Kaminetsky, shlita, as well as other leading halachic authorities. The information in this article is intended solely for your information. It does not constitute legal advice, and it should not be relied on without a discussion of your specific situation with an attorney.

OCTOBER FEBRUARY29, 20,2015 2020| The | TheJewish JewishHome Home

TJH Inclement Names All of the following are actual names of meteorologists employed by well-known news outlets, except for one. Which name below does not belong in this illustrious list? Ray Ban: The Weather Channel Sam Champion: “Good Morning America” Storm E. Field: WABC Amy Freeze: WABC, New York Sunny Haus: KARE, Minneapolis

Centerfold You gotta be kidding A massive storm blew across the Pacific Ocean and sunk Yankel’s expensive yacht. Luckily Yankel and his wife Zelda were able to swim with their life vests to a nearby island. After reaching the deserted island, Zelda was crying and very upset that they would never be found. Yankel, on the other hand, was quite calm, relaxing against a tree. “How can you be so relaxed?” cried Zelda. “We’re going to die on this lonely island. We’ll never be discovered here.”

Dallas Raines: KABC, Los Angeles

Yankel calmed her down and said, “Zelda, three years ago, I donated $250,000 to the Jewish Agency and $250,000 to my shul. Two years ago, I did very well in the stock market, so I contributed $500,000 to each. Last year, business was so that each organization got a million dollars.”

Stormy Rottman: KBTV/KUSA, Denver

“So what?” replied Zelda.

Flip Spiceland: CNN, WXIA, Atlanta

Yankel smiled, “Well, it’s time for their annual fundraising drives – trust me, they’re going to find me!”

Dewey Hopper: KPNX, Phoenix Johnny Mountain: KABC, KCBS, Los Angeles

Larry Sprinkle: WCNC, Charlotte, N.C. Harry Wappler: KIRO, Seattle Ken Weathers: WATE, Knoxville, Tenn. Paul Kruger: WABC, New York

Answer: Paul Kruger

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TheJewish JewishHome Home| |FEBRUARY OCTOBER 20, 29, 2020 2015 The

Meteorologist Trivia 1. Which surface absorbs the most sunlight? a. Sand

b. Eastern Standard Time c. Coordinated Universal Time

b. Water

d. Central Standard Time

c. Dense forest d. Snow 2. What criteria must be met for a snowstorm to be rightfully called a blizzard? a. Intense downward winds b. Constant snow for more than 12 hours c. Wind gusts of 50 mph or more d. Heavy snow, hurricane force winds, and visibility under 1/8 of a mile 3. What time zone do meteorologists use to report their data? a. Pacific Standard Time

 Answers

4. When an air mass travels from one region to another, what happens to the temperature in the new location? a. It increases b. It decreases c. It becomes more humid d. It parallels the temperature at the previous location of the air mass 5. Which of the following are clouds composed of? a. Nitrogen

 Wisdom Key 7-8 correct: Is your name Rainy Storm or something like that? 3-6 correct: You are mild with a mix of sun and clouds. 0-2 correct: You’d be great as a meteorologist in San Diego. “Today will be sunny and 82 degrees... Today will be sunny and 82 degrees... Today will be sunny and 82 degrees...”

b. Water vapor

a. 96 mph

c. Hydrogen vapor

b. 112 mph

d. Carbon dioxide

c. 231 mph

6. Which type of front generally moves the fastest? a. Cold front b. The speed of a front is not known

d. 367 mph 8. What percentage of people in the U.S. live in areas defined as coastal? a. 10%

c. Warm front

b. 20%

d. Stationary front

c. 30%

7. What is the highest wind gust ever to be recorded on the summit of Mount Washington, NH?

d. 40%

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FEBRUARY 20, 2020 | The Jewish Home

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

Torah Thought

Parshas Mishpatim By Rabbi Berel Wein

hat I find most striking about this very detailed, mainly legal and technical parsha of the Torah is the brutal acknowledgement it makes of human nature and its weaknesses. One would think that after the exalted moment when the people of Israel accept-

ed the Torah at Mount Sinai, when humankind finally achieved its highest moral and intellectual level, that the Torah would no longer find it necessary to burden us with laws, details and rules regarding murder, theft, damages, lawsuits and sexual misconduct. We should have been led to believe

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that we are past all that. We are a kingdom of priests and a very holy congregation. Yet, immediately after the lofty description of granting the Torah to Israel at Sinai, it follows immediately with a legal penal code that is based on the worst behavior and attitudes of human beings. The Torah harbors no illusions about human nature. It proclaims to us, at the very beginning of its teachings in Genesis, that the nature and desire of humans is evil from the very first moments of life. In fact, the Torah poses the challenge to overcome the struggle against our own evil im-

viewed as being wholly negative in its attitudes and desires. Human nature desires freedom of mind, body and society. It is optimistic and forward looking. It desires continuity of family and nationhood, and it pursues love and well-being. Human nature desires structure and has a real appreciation of the fleeting gift of time. All these facets of human nature are also exhibited in the rules and laws promulgated in this week’s Torah reading. The Torah teaches us that there is no escape from human nature but that the good in our nature – which Lincoln

The Torah was granted to us to serve as a handbook.

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pulses and base desires. The Torah was granted to us to serve as a handbook, to instruct us how this is to be accomplished. But the Torah never promised us that this struggle would ever disappear from our human existence. There are other faiths, social ideas and programs that are based on the idea that human nature can be altered and changed by fiat, legislation, persuasion and, if necessary, even by coercion. Perhaps human behavior can indeed be so controlled, but it cannot be manipulated. It contains many attributes, but it certainly is never to be

called “our better angels” – can make us into the holy people envisioned for us at Sinai. Part of the nature within us is our longing for immortality and a connection with what is eternal. The laws and rules that appear in this week’s Torah reading are meant to help foster that drive for eternity. Jews view these laws and rules as a complementary companion to the Ten Commandments of Sinai and the guidebook for Jewish life and society throughout all the ages of our existence. Shabbat shalom.

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From the Fire

Parshas Mishpatim — Shabbos Shekalim Connecting to Our Higher Selves By Rav Moshe Weinberger Adapted for publication by Binyomin Wolf

his Shabbos is Shabbos Shekalim, when we read about the mitzvah to give a half shekel to the Beis Hamikdash to support the community korbanos throughout the year. There are a number of questions on the mitzvah of the half shekel. First, why must every Jew give only half a shekel, and not a whole shekel? Usually, we do mitzvos in the fullest way possible. What makes this mitzvah different? Second, this is the only mitzvah where we find a command like (Shmos 30:15) “The rich shall give no more and the poor shall give no less...” Usually, there is a minimum level a person must do to fulfill a mitzvah but each person can do more if he wants to and that is encouraged. Why must every Jew be exactly the same with respect to the half shekel? Third, what is the connection between the mitzvah of the half shekel and the

sanctity of Shabbos such that Chazal instituted a special Shabbos called “Shabbos Shekalim?” Finally, because Shabbos Shekalim comes around the time of Rosh Chodesh Adar, how does Shabbos Shekalim bring us into the joy of the month of Adar and Purim? In order to understand the answers to these questions, we will learn one line from the Sfas Emes from Shabbos Shekalim 5642 (1882 C.E.). The Sfas Emes wrote: “Chazal said (Rashi on Shmos 13:13) that [Hashem] showed him a coin of fire and said, ‘Like this shall they give,’ meaning that the Jewish people have a portion in heaven and a portion given to them in this world and they must cleave to the heavenly portion.” Each person has an image above which personifies his essence and shows what he can become. That aspect of the person is never dimin-

ished by anything he does or fails to do in this world. However, the only aspect of the person which is visible in this world is a diminished version, a mere spark of that great potential self. Hashem showed Moshe the true potential of man and how each person must work to make his half shekel on earth more like its fiery counterpart above. We can now understand the requirement that the rich and the poor must all give the same half shekel. Divisions, differences, and disputes between people here on earth only exist because of our limited vision. We only see the distinctions between people. We see that some are rich and some are poor; some are more frum, some are less frum; some are more intelligent and some less, and so on. But the half shekel, which is the same for everyone and corresponds to the fiery

coin above, demonstrates that in their spiritual essence, all Jews are equally part of nishmas Yisrael, the unified soul of the Jewish nation. From that perspective, no one’s essence is blemished or corrupted. There is no concept of rich and poor or any other distinction. When true tzaddikim look at Jews, they see their true essence, their matbeah shel aish, the fiery coin of their true essence. The more a Jew is connected to the source, the more he loves peace and unity between Jews and hates dispute and rivalry. At the source, everything is one. This is why the korbanos of the tzibbur, the whole community, had to be purchased using the half shekel. The Hebrew word for community, tzibbur, is an acronym for the words tzaddikim, beinonim and reshaim, Jews who are righteous, mediocre, or wicked. Moreover, the Jewish commu-

The Jewish Home | FEBRUARY 20, 2020 The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

nity, as a whole community, never dies because the community is the nishmas Yisrael, the unified soul of the Jewish nation. As Chazal say (Temura 15b), “The congregation cannot die.” Korbanos are used to bridge the gap between a Jew’s half shekel below with his fiery coin above. As the Gemara (Bava Basra 74a) says, the Beis Hamikdash is the place “where heaven and earth kiss.” The korbanos brought by the community are the meeting point between heaven and earth because they bridge the gap between our frail human reality and our noble potential in the essence of our being. This is also the connection between the half shekel and Shabbos Shekalim. The Zohar (Introduction, 5b) asks why the pasuk (Vayikra 19:30) says, “You shall observe my Shabbosim,” in the plural, instead of saying, “You shall keep Shabbos”? Among other explanations, it answers that the word is plural to refer to the two aspects of Shabbos, the “Shabbos above and the Shabbos below.” On Shabbos, we receive a neshama yeseira, an additional soul, meaning that Shabbos gives us an additional capacity to connect the Shabbos below to the Shabbos above, the cold half shekel of this world to the fiery coin above. That is why we say “Shabbos Shalom,” since (Zohar 176b) Shabbos is the essence of peace. It also shows why Chazal (Shabbos 23b) instituted Shabbos candles “for the sake of peace in the home.” The more a person connects to the source above, the more he attains peace because he feels connected to every Jew below in the way of “the rich shall give no more and the poor shall give no less...” All distinctions between Jews exist during the week because we usually only look at a person’s half shekel of this world. This is also why the Torah reiterates the mitzvah of Shabbos following the mitzvah of the half shekel and other mitzvos relating to the Beis Hamikdash. This is also why Chazal say that the mitzvah of the half shekel is a rectification of the sin of the egel ha’zahav, the Golden Calf (Yerushalmi Shekalim 9b). In order to atone for the sin which threatened to sever the Jewish people’s connection with the fiery coin above, they perform the mitzvah of the half shekel to reconnect them with their essence above.

The Purim Connection As we enter the month of Adar, we remember that the essence of Amalek is to only see the limited half shekel of a person here on earth. That is why, in the Jewish people’s battle with Amalek, Moshe lifted his hands heavenward (Rashi on Shmos 17:11), to remind the Jewish people of their coin of fire above, of the greatness of their inner essence which is not visible to the eye. In addition, that is why the sons of Haman were involved in writing letters to Achashveirosh at the time of the Purim story to stop the Jewish people from rebuilding the Beis Hamikdash (Rashi on Ezra 4:8), which serves as the connection between our earthly selves and our true essence above. Amalek cannot tolerate seeing the Jewish people as anything other than their limited half shekel selves.

5:3) that he would give her anything “up to half the kingdom,” which the Gemara (Megillah 15b) interprets to mean that he would not grant permission to rebuild the Beis Hamikdash. He will only give her “half” the kingdom. He will grant her anything except a recognition of anything transcending the half shekel of how the Jewish people appear from a limited human perspective. We know (Megillah 15b) that references in Megillas Esther to melech, king, refer to the king which is apparent on earth, Achashveirosh. But references to Ha’melech, the King, refer to a perception beneath the surface, to the King of the world, Hashem. In addition, Chazal say (Megillah 7a) that “That which they accepted below was established above.” What did the Jewish people accept below? In the piyut Shoshanas Yaakov, we

The more a person connects to the source above, the more he attains peace because he feels connected to every Jew below.

This is also connected to the reason why the salvation of Purim came through the mitzvah of the half shekel, as Chazal say (Megila 13b), “Reish Lakish says, ‘It is open and revealed before the One who spoke and the world came into being that Haman would, in the future, pay money [to induce Achashveirosh to destroy] the Jewish people. Therefore, Hashem preempted his money with the half shekel of the Jewish people.’” On a simple level, it is difficult to understand what it is about the mitzvah of the half shekel which negates Haman’s goals and worldview. But based on what we have learned, we can now understand. Amalek can never be victorious over the Jewish people as long as they remember their inner greatness and their potential, their fiery shekel above. Along these lines, Achashveirosh repeated told Esther (see, e.g., Esther

say, “When they saw the techeiles [blue garments] of Mordechai together.” What is the significance of the techeiles of Mordechai? As the Gemara (Menachos 43b) says, techeiles is “similar to the sea and the sea is similar to the heavens, and the heavens are similar to the Throne of Glory.” Techeiles, therefore, represents the connection between heaven and earth, between the half shekel on earth and the source of the soul of the Jewish nation above. The fact that the Jewish people gazed at the techeiles of Mordechai together as one rectified the disharmony between the Jewish people. This is also why we have the mitzvah to send gifts from one Jew to another (Esther 9:22), which rectifies (Esther 3:8) the deficiency of “there is a certain people scattered and separate among the peoples.” When we begin looking at our source above, we become one below as well.

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This central concept is also reflected in this week’s parsha (Shmos 23:20), where the pasuk says, “Behold I am sending an angel before you to guard you on the way and bring you to the place I have prepared.” Commenting on the words “the place I have prepared,” which refers to the Beis Hamikdash, Rashi explains, “The Beis Hamikdash above corresponds to the Beis Hamikdash below.” Our whole job here on earth is to connect our Beis Hamikdash below, our half shekel here on earth, to our spiritual source above, our great potential. There is a story of the tzaddik Rav Meir Premishlaner, which illustrates this lesson. Two misnagdim heard that Rav Meir of Premishlan used to walk down a hill covered in ice every day to immerse himself in the frozen lake below, as was the custom of some tzaddikim. They couldn’t believe that it was possible for anyone to walk down the hill without falling so they hid in order to confirm whether he really walked down the hill. Sure enough, they saw him walk down the hill of ice without falling and immerse himself in the lake. But they assumed that if Rav Meir could do it, then anyone could do it. They therefore attempted to walk down the hill themselves but immediately began slipping and fell down the entire hill, breaking several bones. Soon afterward, Rav Meir visited them in the hospital. During his visit, they asked him how he was able to walk down the icy hill without falling. It seemed impossible. He therefore explained to them that when someone is tied above, he does not fall below. Because he constantly tied himself to his spiritual source above, he never stumbled below, here on earth. May Hashem help us internalize the meaning of the mitzvah of the half shekel and look at the inner greatness of our own and others’ spiritual source above, and in doing so, may we merit to reach our potential and see what we share in common rather than our superficial differences.

Rav Moshe Weinberger, shlita, is the founding Morah d’Asrah of Congregation Aish Kodesh in Woodmere, NY, and serves as leader of the new mechina Emek HaMelech.

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FEBRUARY 20, 2020 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Parsha

in 4

Parshas Mishpatim By Eytan Kobre

Weekly Aggada You shall not follow a multitude to do evil; and you shall not bear witness in a cause to turn aside after a multitude to pervert justice (Shemos 23:2) A non-Jew once challenged R’ Yehoshua ben Karcha: “In your Torah it is written that you must follow the majority. And yet we non-Jews comprise the majority of the world, whereas you Jews are but a tiny minority. So why then do you not bend

your beliefs to ours to idolatry?” “Do you have any children?” R’ Yehoshua asked the non-Jew. “You remind me of my troubles!” the non-Jew exclaimed. “I have many sons. But when they convene around my table, each one blesses to his own ‘god’ – and before long they quarrel with one another and beat one another.” “So do you bend your single belief to the beliefs of all your sons?” R’ Yehoshua ben Karcha retorted. “No.”

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“Well, before you ask us (i.e., the Jewish people) to conform our beliefs to yours (i.e., the non-Jews), go and conform your beliefs to those of your sons.” The non-Jew left, embarrassed by his own hypocrisy (Vayikra Rabba 4:6).

Weekly Mussar If you see the donkey of someone that you hate lying under its burden, you shall forbear to pass by him; you shall surely release it with him (Shemos 23:5) Since it is forbidden to hate another Jew, the Torah’s reference to “someone that you hate” must be to one who you hate because of their misbehavior, in which case it would be permitted to “hate” him, perhaps such “hatred” might even be endorsed (Pesachim 113b). But Tosfos is troubled by this. If one encounters a friend who needs assistance unloading an animal, and also a person he “hates” who needs assistance loading an animal, he is to assist the person he “hates” so as to overcome his negative feelings towards that person (Bava Metzia 32b). But if the reference to “someone that you hate” is to a person we are permitted or even encouraged to hate, then there are no impermissibly negative feelings to overcome; on the contrary, if we are permitted or even encouraged to “hate” that person, those are not feelings of “hatred” that we should want to overcome. Why, then, would one be required to assist the person he “hates”? Tosfos answers that while we may well be permitted or even encouraged to hate such a person, by allowing

those feelings of “hatred” to fester and manifest in not helping to load his animal, the “hated” person may well come to “hate” us back. And that never-ending cycle of hatred is not permissible. The Alter of Slabodka observed from all this back-and-forth how even the mitzvah of helping a friend unload his animal – and even though we would not otherwise be encouraged to assist the “hated” person – is outweighed by the value of overcoming even one negative character trait.

Weekly Anecdote You shall not afflict any widow or orphan (Shemos 22:21) A widowed woman once came knocking on the door of R’ Tzvi Hirsch of Rimenov, tears streaming down her cheeks. “What’s troubling you?” R’ Tzvi Hirsch asked as he opened the door. “I’ve just come from a din Torah under the auspices of dayan So-andSo,” explained the widow. “For some reason, he ruled against me. I was already under severe financial constraints, but this ruling will ruin me financially.” R’ Tzvi Hirsch immediately summoned the dayan to discuss the matter. When the dayan arrived, R’ Tzvi Hirsch asked to see the sources upon which the dayan relied in rendering his decision. The dayan opened a volume of Shulchan Aruch, Choshen Mishpat, and pointed to the precise section he relied upon. But no sooner did he point to that section than he realized that he had misunderstood and misapplied the halacha

in arriving at his ruling. And it now was clear to the dayan that he should have ruled in favor of the widow, not against her. The dayan tried to save face. “I did misunderstand and misapply this halacha, but even a seasoned halachic authority and dayan could have made that same mistake.” “Do not worry about it, my good man,” said R’ Tzvi Hirsch calmly. “What matters is that we caught the mistake now, with time to correct it and spare this widow an exceedingly harsh fate.” And with that, they broke out some spirits and pastries and made merry over their good fortune in arriving at the true and correct ruling and sparing the widow a calamitous fate. A short while later, the dayan prepared to leave, and R’ Tzvi Hirsch escorted him out the door. Just as the dayan was prepared to take leave, however, he turned back to R’ Tzvi Hirsch. “I do have a question. How did the Rebbe come to suspect that

perhaps my ruling was based on a faulty premise? The Rebbe did not know any of the details until I arrived at his home.” “It was the widow’s cries,” explained R’ Tzvi Hirsch, “that made me suspicious of your ruling. For our Torah is described as ‘the Torah of Hashem is perfect; it is restorative of the soul’ (Tehillim 19:8). But based on this widow’s tears, your ruling was not restorative of the soul – G-d would never wish for a widow to be treated so harshly. And that’s why I suspected something was amiss.”

Weekly Halacha If he rises again and walks outside upon his staff, then the one who hit him shall be cleared; only for the loss of his time he shall pay, and shall cause him to be thoroughly healed (Shemos 21:19) From the words, “and shall cause

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him to be thoroughly healed” (Shemos 21:19), we learn that a doctor has permission [from G-d] to heal (Bava Kama 85a). That is, we do not say that G-d has afflicted man and therefore G-d must heal him; rather, man may heal him, too (Rashi, Bava Kama 85a). In fact, healing another person is not just permitted begrudgingly; it may well fall within the positive commandment of “And you shall restore it to him” (Devarim 22:2; see also Sanhedrin 73a; Rambam [Peirush Hamishnayos], Nedarim 4). Others regard it as falling within the positive commandment to save lives: “And [healing others] is a positive commandment, and it is in the nature of saving a life, and one who is zealous [to heal others] is praiseworthy, and one who refrains from doing so is akin to a murderer” (Tur and Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh Dei’ah 336). Because the Torah permits doctors to heal, one who is sick may not rely upon miracles; rather, one who

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is ill is obligated to consult a doctor (Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 192:3). Indeed, a talmid chacham is not permitted to live in a city in which there is no doctor (Sanhedrin 17b). If one doctor knows of another doctor in the area who is better able to heal a particular illness or a particular patient, it is incumbent upon the doctor to refer the relevant patient to that other doctor (Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh Dei’ah 336). A patient, in turn, should seek out for treatment the doctor most expert on his condition (Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 192:3).

The Weekly Halacha is not meant for practical purposes and is for discussion purposes only. Please consult your own rav for guidance.

Eytan Kobre is a writer, speaker, and attorney living in Kew Gardens Hills. Questions? Comments? Suggestions? E-mail eakobre@outlook.com.

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FEBRUARY 20, 2020 | The Jewish Home FEBRUARY 20, 2020 | The Jewish Home

The Wandering

Jew

Mateusz Becomes Mati By Hershel Lieber

Mateusz (center) and Andrzei learning with me at the Lauder Camp in 1989

didn’t meet Mateusz (Ma-teush) during my trips to Warsaw in the late ‘70s and early ‘80s. It was only when I started teaching at the Lauder summer camps in 1989 that I met him and was fascinated by his personality. He was smart, outspoken, and possessed a great sense of humor. At the same time, he was sensitive and demonstrated a deep interest in Yiddishkeit. To appreciate his story, we have to go back into his family’s history. Mateusz’s mother descended from very religious grandparents. They had a very difficult life and suffered from poverty and the usual Polish anti-Semitism. Her parents, like many others, abandoned religion and embraced communism as their salvation. Though they endured much discrimination, especially during the war years when they were exiled in Russia, they did not turn their backs on their loyalty to the Soviet Union and faith in Stalin. When her parents finally

returned to Poland after the war, they became disenchanted with communism and were appalled at the bigotry exhibited towards Jews. Nevertheless, they did not hide their Jewish ancestry, unlike others, and continued speaking in Yiddish and

Pesi teaching a group of children at the Lauder Camp in 1983

Jewish, demonstrated a strong interest in Jewish history and was knowledgeable in the Bible, which he taught to his two sons. Lukasz, Mateusz’s brother, was apathetic but Mateusz was keenly interested in his Jewish heritage.

He read it once, twice, and again a third time, tears streaming from his eyes.

in some small ways observed some tradition. Mateusz’s mother Ninel (which is Lenin spelled backwards) was a strong woman and withstood the constant prejudice that she was subjected to. Mateusz’s father, although not

In Warsaw’s Noszyk Synagogue, there was an elderly learned gentleman, Moshe Szapiro, who offered to teach Mateusz Hebrew and Jewish traditions. He later proposed to prepare Mateusz for a bar mitzvah. In 1983, that bar mitzvah was a histor-

ic and an extremely emotional event for the remaining elderly Jews of Warsaw. When I met Mateusz, it was at the second Lauder summer camp. He was personable and had a gift for acting and being a comedian. He was constantly flouting authority, and I remember the singing and beer drinking sessions that he led until the wee hours of the morning. He always participated in our study group but routinely questioned whatever he heard and found humor in everything that was said. He had a twinkle in his eye and a smirk on his lips. I was drawn to his personality and hoped he would one day become more serious-minded about his future. Over the next few years, we met both at the summer and winter camps and during Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur when I was in Poland. He also came for a short trip to the States where I arranged for him to have a bris at which he was given

The Jewish Jewish Home Home || FEBRUARY FEBRUARY 20, 20, 2020 2020 The

Mateusz studying with Moshe Szapiro for his bar mitzvah in Warsaw

the name Matisyahu. As Mateusz studied more about Torah, he accepted upon himself many traditions of Yiddishkeit. Even so, he constantly fluctuated between practicing and disregarding halachic requirements. He somehow could not find himself nor was he ready to make a strong commitment. The next stage came in 2002. Rabbi Yonah Bookstein, who headed the Lauder Foundation in Poland, was ending his tenure. Before he left for the States, he offered Mateusz many of his books which would have been too cumbersome to take back. It was a Friday evening when Mateusz picked up the book Holy Brother by Yitta Halberstam Mandelbaum about the legendary Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach. He read it once, twice, and again a third time, tears streaming from his eyes. The emotionally-charged stories and lessons in the book deeply affected his soul, and immediately, without hesitation, he made a full commitment to accept

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Mati (next to me, wearing hat) and friends after Shabbos at our home

Yiddishkeit and make it part of his life. This time he was not wavering and started to dream about going to yeshiva. His dream came true a short while later. Mati, as he was called now, enrolled in Ohr Someach of Monsey, where, after a short while, he was accepted into the semicha program. While there, he spent many Shabbosim with us and other teens from Poland, and he shared with us his amazing progress. Being extremely intelligent and applying himself totally to his goal, he passed all his exams with flying colors. I remember the pride both Pesi and I shared when semicha was conferred upon him and he became a Rav U’Moreh Horoeh B’Yisroel. He was not content with his personal journey to Yiddishkeit; this way of life was something he wanted to expose to others. The opportunity came when he was hired as a director by Aish Hatorah. His great rep-

A Chanukah party at our home for our Jewish friends from Poland

utation there eventually led him to meeting his wonderful wife, Vanessa, whose own journey took her from Germany to England and ultimately to the States. Together, they built a home that made kiruv a cornerstone of their careers. Mati and Vanessa moved on to rabbinical and teaching positions in Hamburg, Germany, and eventually to programs geared towards Jewish university students in the Manchester area of England. Mati never fails

to call me at least twice a year and to send photos of their children. Their two children are a great source of nachas for them, and we, too, share in that pride. Never did I dream that Mati would make such significant contributions to the world of kiruv. Never could I foresee the beautiful family that he is raising. Never did I imagine Mateusz becoming Mati.

Hershel Lieber has been involved in kiruv activities for over 30 years. As a founding member of the Vaad L’Hatzolas Nidchei Yisroel he has traveled with his wife, Pesi, to the Soviet Union during the harsh years of the Communist regimes to advance Yiddishkeit. He has spearheaded a yeshiva in the city of Kishinev that had 12 successful years with many students making Torah their way of life. In Poland, he lectured in the summers at the Ronald S. Lauder Foundation camp for nearly 30 years. He still travels to Warsaw every year – since 1979 – to be the chazzan for Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur for the Jews there. Together with Pesi, he organized and led trips to Europe on behalf of Gateways and Aish Hatorah for college students finding their paths to Jewish identity. His passion for travel has taken them to many interesting places and afforded them unique experiences. Their open home gave them opportunities to meet and develop relationships with a variety of people. Hershel’s column will appear in The Jewish Home on a bi-weekly basis.

Mati, Vanessa, and their children in England in 2018

FEBRUARY 20, 2020 | The Jewish Home

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

My Israel Home

Understanding the Building Construction Index By Gedaliah Borvick

Newly completed Jerusalem buildings

hen buying a property in Israel and determining your budget, there will be additional costs above the purchase price to keep in mind, such as the acquisition tax, lawyer’s and broker’s fees, and other sundry items. When buying an apartment under construction, also known as buying “on paper” or “off plan,” an important additional cost to consider is the Building Construction Index. The Bank of Israel has a consumer price index, or CPI, to track inflation. In addition, it has many sub-indices that reflect the inflation rate within various industries. The Building Construction Index covers all costs associated with the construction industry, including construction materials, such as steel and concrete, as well as the cost of labor. Back in the early 1980s, when the Jerusalem neighborhood of Har Nof was being built, there was so much construction taking place – coupled with ridiculously high inflation that crippled Israel’s economy – that the price of la-

bor, steel, and other construction materials literally tripled. Consequently, many developers who sold apartments “on paper” in projects under construction ran into financial trouble because they sold for prices based on construction costs calculated at the time of contract signing, prior to the costs spiraling out of control. To complete the building projects was a money-losing proposition and therefore many builders declared bankruptcy and walked away from the construction projects. These bankruptcies caused long delays, which hurt the apartment buyers and the entire industry. In response to this challenging experience, the government created the Building Construction Index to protect all parties’ interests. When someone purchases an apartment in a project under construction, the unpaid portion of the price becomes linked to the Index. Let’s say that Esther buys an apartment “on paper” for 2,000,0000 NIS in a project that is expected to be completed in eighteen months, and the

payment schedule requires her to pay 25% on contract and make additional 25% payments every six months. Upon contract execution, Esther makes her first payment of 25% or 500,000 NIS, and the 75% unpaid portion gets linked to the Building Construction Index based on the contract signing date. If the Index went up by 1% over the first six-month period, the second payment will be 500,000 x 1.01% or 505,000 NIS. The next scheduled payment is six months later, or one year after contract signing. If, during the last twelvemonth period, the Index rose by 2%, the third payment would be 500,000 x 1.02% or 510,000 NIS. Esther’s final 25% payment is six months later, or eighteen months after contract execution. If the Index increased by 3% during that year and a half period, the final payment would be 500,000 x 1.03 or 515,000 NIS. In this case, the index adds a total of 30,000 NIS above the sale price. In this example, we grew the Building Construction Index 2% annually, which reflects the actual numbers over

the past decade, where the index rose an average of 1.95% annually. Over the past five years, however, inflation was lower, as the index averaged 1.7% annually. Keep in mind that only the unpaid portion of the price is subject to the index. Therefore, buyers who are riskaverse can accelerate their payment schedule and prepay the lion’s share of the purchase price, thus limiting their inflation risk. Even though the Building Construction Index, for all intents and purposes, raises the purchase price of the apartment, it takes the risk of bankruptcy due to rising construction costs out of the equation, allowing the builder – and buyer – to rest assured that rising construction costs won’t derail the project. Gedaliah Borvick is the founder of My Israel Home (www.myisraelhome.com), a real estate agency focused on helping people from abroad buy and sell homes in Israel. To sign up for his monthly market updates, contact him at gborvick@gmail.com.

The Jewish Home | FEBRUARY 20, 2020

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FEBRUARY29, 20,2015 2020| The | TheJewish JewishHome Home OCTOBER

INSPIRING CONNECTING

TJH SPEAKS WITH REBBETZIN DR. ADINA SHMIDMAN, DIRECTOR OF THE DEPARTMENT OF THE WOMEN’S INITIATIVES AT THE OU

SUSAN SCHWAMM

Rebbetzin Shmidman, the OU’s Department of Women’s Initiative, a department that you helped to create, is almost three years old. Tell us about how it got off the ground. Let me give you a bit of a background about myself. I grew up in Queens. I have a degree in school psych from Queens, a master’s from Azrieli in Jewish education, and my PhD is from City University in educational psychology. At the same time as I was doing my masters, I was teaching. I taught at HANC, HALB, SKA, and Manhattan High School – a lot of local schools. Then we moved to Birmingham, Alabama, for nine years. My husband was the rabbi there. It was a wonderful opportunity to be in a community where you’re really able to do and create and envision and pull in and touch so many people widely. How big was the community there? You mean, how small was the community? Well, let’s put it this

way. Don’t look for this book, but if I would write a book, the book was going to be titled, “Dreidels and Dixie: I Never Thought Ten Was Such A Big Number.” Love that title! Well, don’t look for the book because I haven’t written it yet. But there was a handful of shomer Shabbos people in the community. The shul had about 120 families – we called them “family units” – but not all of them were shomer Shabbos. My husband would quip that they were “Ortho-thought,” not necessarily “Orthodox.” Wonderful people were living there – the community as a whole – and there was a lot of unity in the community across denominations. It was very small, so you had to be able to play in the same sandbox. The total, approximately, between the Reform, Conservative, Orthodox, Chabad – and there was some overlap, even between these – there were about 5,000 Jews, which was about 1,500 families. It was also beautiful. Remember, we came from the Upper West Side. It was not a move “down,”

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to move to Birmingham. It was a move “out.” A lot more greenery. Every house was beautiful – not our house, though, which was owned by the shul. But the living there was beautiful. We were there for nine years. We went down with one child, and moved back up with four boys. Once we moved back, we moved to Philadelphia, and I taught there in the girls’ high school. I taught AP psych and Sefer Shmuel. I would say there’s a lot of hashkafa in psychology. For example, I would do a unit on learning about behavior modification, schedules of reinforcement. I would always do that unit at the beginning of the year – right in time for Rosh Hashana. The girls would pick something that they wanted to work on. They had to make a proposal of how they would do it and how they would apply the things that they were learning in class. They had to be strategic in how they would try to modify their own behaviors and chart it and talk about their successes and also talk about their failures. I always said, “Girls, it’s OK if it doesn’t work – growth is really hard and behavior change is very hard. But if you learn from yourself and you learn how to do something differently the next go-round, or you learn about what didn’t work for you, that’s also learning.” And so, it was a wonderful opportunity. I taught in the school for two years, and I joined the OU in November 2017. You know, I knew of the OU, and I read their magazine, Jewish Action, and I went to their conventions, but I was surprised and excited when I heard of this new initiative that they were starting. Although my husband initially suggested that I run the department, it happened through Divine choreography that I got the position. You started at the same time that the department was being created, correct? Yes. It was really a very exciting opportunity – to create a vision, to put things on the ground. Our goal was to engage and connect women throughout the Orthodox community, throughout the

Adina (left) with Nancy Klein at the Women’s Initiative Summit

country, and create a “community” around that. We started the department in November 2017, and then we were off to the races. The first major program we launched was the Challenge Grant Initiative, where we turned to communities around the country and said, “We want to hear what you want.” That was very important to me in opening this up, to reach out to them. We received 93 grant proposals, which was astonishing because we had just started. We were offering $5,000 to each winning proposal, and we had committed to choose 10. We ended up choosing 16. That’s very generous. It was very generous, and to me it was very important to position the department as: “We are listening to you. You know your community.” It’s very easy for me to come and say, “I know what you want. I know what you need,” but I wanted to hear from them. What were some of the proposals that won the grant? In terms of categories, a lot of them were addressing social-spiritual needs. How do you engage women in a relaxing space that’s valuing Torah and education? There are so many ways of expression of spirituality – through art, music, movement, writing – everyone engages on a Torah plane but in a dif-

ferent way or form. In Cleveland, they ran a super program they called “Saturday Night In(Side)” where they had three or four events and so many women turned out. One was a music event with a kumzitz and a dvar Torah – it was done in such a classy way. The other one connected with exercise but was framed within the context of Torah. In Hollywood, Florida, they held the Eishet Chayil Initiative, where they went through the lines of Eishet Chayil. What are the qualities that an Eishet Chayil has? There’s financial planning, time management, self-care, etc. They brought in speakers to talk about these different topics every month. It was done beautifully, with thought, with intention. All these programs were wonderful – some were more successful than others. I once heard a great expression from someone who is an educator. He said it’s called “feed forward” not “feedback.” Whatever you do, learn from it, and then you’ll know for the future. That’s what I took from the initiative. We learned so much for the future. Overall, though, from that first initiative, we were able to get programming for women into 16 communities in the United States. What about now? Are these programs continuing? So, it’s interesting. We’ve had

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shuls come back to us and say, “Oh, we’d love to do it again.” And my response is, “Awesome. Now you can do that. We’ve empowered you. You’ve demonstrated success. So you should be able to go to your congregation and carry this forward.” And we heard that there were some communities that did just that, which is exciting. Now, for year two, we created a Lay Leadership Conference, which took place in May, where we gathered two or three women from communities from all over the country – actually, there’s a woman from London, someone from South Africa, someone from Israel, it’s international. These women had to apply and be recommended, but they were somewhat handpicked. We wanted people who were engaged but we wanted the community to value this person as well. Many of them were funded by their community, which meant that their community invested in them, which was amazing. They came together with three goals. The first was to value and recognize lay leadership as an actively contributing group in the community that deserves recognition, investment, nurturing. The second goal was to network these women and connect them. And then, we offered them professional development. We asked them on the front end, how many of you have had professional leadership training? Around half of our hundred women had never had any formal leadership training. And that’s fine. Nobody’s suggesting that you can’t be a leader without leadership training. However, if you want to raise the tide and really say, “All the boats up,” this was the way to do it. We provided leadership training over the course of the conference. The energy there was mesmerizing. We had some very influential people there – Erica Brown, Chanie Neuberger, Avital Chizhik-Goldshmidt. Everyone focused on different topics. Avital, for example, spoke about communicating your message. One of Erica Brown’s topics was how to have difficult conversations. The women at the conference, well, they never had a toolkit for these things and the speakers pro-

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OCTOBER FEBRUARY29, 20,2015 2020| The | TheJewish JewishHome Home

vided them with a toolkit to help them: how to build rapport, financial planning, etc. We also built in downtime. We brought in a woman who did an art project with the group – they made frames. But it was done with intention, talking about how to “frame” things. As a follow-up to the event, we started a WhatsApp group for the women who attended that’s still relatively active. There are amazing connections being made. For example, someone needed a grant writer. And another woman on the chat responded that she would be able to write the grant for her, gratis. It’s amazing. I love the connections that were made. There was a woman from Oceanside who came to the summit who wrote a letter afterwards telling us that she was sitting next to a chassidishe woman with a double head covering. Initially, when she sat down next to her, she thought, “We’re not going to have anything in common.” But she wrote us the most beautiful note saying how she felt so connected to that woman at the end of the conference and how they really had so much in common and how their connection expanded her and her point of view. It was so poignant and inspiring. Are you singlehandedly running the department? Initially, I did it all

A few participants at the Women’s Initiative Leadership Conference

on my own. Now, I have two women who help. Interestingly, one woman on my staff was at the Lay Leadership Summit. Aside from the summit, we also are creating communities around the U.S. For example, we gathered the OU sisterhood presidents and we’ve made a network for them. If you’re an OU shul, then your sisterhood president would be involved. It creates such a great community-feeling. There are people who are involved in shuls around the country where it could be a little lonely – like in Birmingham, Alabama, let’s say. Connecting everyone makes a big difference. We’ve connected mikveh attendants from around the country. They were totally not networked. Now, we offer “sense and sen sit iv ity” training for them. We ’ r e here f o r them. W e want to supp o r t them. We offered this already in six

“I LOVE THE IDEA THAT WE’RE CREATING SEEDS IN DIFFERENT COMMUNITIES.”

or seven communities, and the reception has been amazing. Avital Levin from Shalom Task Force and Ditza Berger from the Five Towns run the program. We’re also developing a program for educators, rebbetzins, and kallah teachers to help them teach certain topics. The first one we covered was: how to teach the concept of covering your hair. Rebbetzin Abby Lerner gave the class – it was three sessions online – and there was an amazing turnout: 300 people from around the world participated – women from all over the globe – Hong Kong, Germany, Switzerland, Chile, Argentina, Mexico – and that’s in addition to those from the U.S., Israel, Canada, and London. If you think about it, it’s amazing what we can do when we utilize technology in the right way. Abby’s sitting in her house, the rebbetzins are sitting in their houses, and they’re learning together. As much as the geographic reach was staggering, the hashkafic reach was equally or even more impressive. Additionally, I will tell you that many of these women would not have found themselves in the same classroom if it was a “real” class. But here, you’re not making a statement; you’re saying that you want to learn more. We see that it’s making such an impact, and we’re looking to do more. We’re working on an incredible program called Torat Imecha.

We’re super-excited about this new endeavor. The OU has an existing Nach Yomi program that’s been run by Rabbi Jack Abramowitz. It was started in 2000. It is a two-year program, and you learn one perek of Nach a day – we actually just started the new cycle recently. It’s very enjoyable and very doable. We realized, though, that it would be wonderful if we had women’s voices in the rotation. Now, every day, there is a 12-15-minute shiur on Nach Yomi that you can download and is being given by women. The women giving the shiurim are educators, rebbetzins, women who revere the text they’re teaching and love learning and teaching Navi. The Torat Imecha program is amazing. Thousands of people have joined – from at least 19 countries – Scotland, Ireland, France, Poland, Holland, Germany, Belgium, Hong Kong. We’re in at least 34 states in the U.S., all over Canada. I’m so excited about this – I’m thinking about getting a world map for my office and putting pushpins in all the countries in which we’re connected and we do an event or a program. On Simchas Torah, we also have a speaking program that is very popular. The idea behind it is to give women on Simchas Torah engagement and learning during the time when the men are leining. It’s about connecting and being inspired by Torah on Simchas Torah. The communities identify a speaker in their community and we finance the speaker for the program. It’s very successful, and we’ve gotten amazing feedback. Our Shavous program is also about bringing women together. It’s called “Counting Towards Sinai.” We wanted women to feel part of Shavuos. With this program, we bring in scholars to communities to inspire the women there. It’s a wonderful program because we’re bringing in educators that smaller communities don’t necessarily have access to. We’re exposing and engaging communities that may not have the reach or the capacity to bring in these types of scholars. Think Seattle, Vancouver, Irvine, Phoenix, Dallas, Ottawa, Cincinnati. I love the idea that we’re creat-

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015 The Jewish Home | FEBRUARY 20, 2020

ing seeds in different communities. Women have reached out to me to tell me that they’re excited about a program of ours and want to create a WhatsApp in their community to organize a learning program on Shabbos. That’s so exciting – I tell them, “Tell me what you’re doing.” I love the idea that we’re planting seeds from the air, and on the ground, these communities are making it their own. It’s fantastic. I also love that we’re giving women a voice. There are so many amazing women out there who are, what you may call, “emerging scholars.” They have the capacity and can share so much but they may not be as recognized as other women educators. With these programs, we are giving these very capable, talented women a platform and a forum to grow their name and their voice. What’s the vision for the Women’s Initiative for the future? We’re looking to continue to

build – to create community, to create engagement, to create inspiration, and to continue to launch programs that facilitate and enhance women’s experience as Orthodox women. For now, we’re also working on Challenge Grant 2020. We’re building on the Lay Leadership Summit – we want to go down the Atlantic seaboard and raise the level of leadership in a community. We want to raise everyone in the community and introduce a vision to the entire community. I like to say: impact equals contribution, not commotion. We want to create and help others to create. How did your experience as a rebbetzin and a teacher help you in your role at the OU? The idea of touching and reaching out to communities has been a big part of my experience. I was involved in many different communities along the way, whether it was

growing up in New York, being in a shul in Birmingham, now being in Philadelphia, teaching in schools in New York City, teaching in Philadelphia in the girls’ high school, connecting with the girls in the shul, the women in the shul… I was able to see and hear and take the opportunity to look at different communities from an aerial view. Now, on a micro level, I have a unique opportunity to be able to take that and bring that to the OU, an organization that has such reach and such capacity and so much leverage and investment in communities. It’s been a very, very unique opportunity and a huge responsibility. This is women’s space, and we need to engage on a high level, on a sophisticated level, and to appeal on that level. Every decision we make is highly intentional and highly deliberate. My experience has also helped me to navigate this. I daven very hard, very hard because everything has to be done b’siyata

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Dishmaya. Truthfully, it’s not about me. It’s about making this program and this vision grow. I’m just using every tool that I have and was given to do my best. You know, when we do Rosh Chodesh benching, we say: “V’kabetz nidacheinu mei’arba kanfos ha’aretz. Chaverim kol Yisroel, v’nomar Amen.” It’s a bit of a funny line, if you think about it. It’s like there are two phrases randomly stuck side by side. But I once realized that when you’re in a tight space, it’s hard to get along. What we’re saying here is that when we all come together, chaverim kol Yisroel, we can all sit together – it’s not crowded. We have enough in common; we’re connecting, we can all be friends. That, I think, is a big part of what we’re doing. We’re connecting, we’re bringing women together. We’re inspiring women from all over the globe and bringing them closer to each other.

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FEBRUARY 20, 2020 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Creating Connections with the Next

Generation By Yeshaya Kraus, LCSW

s frum Jews, we have a vested interest in passing our beliefs and enthusiasm for a Torah lifestyle onto the next generation. We want to give our children a sense of personal connection to something far greater than ourselves. In order to do this, we need to give them a strong and safe connection with us. We’re the conduit of this tradition. Without this kind of relationship, it’s not possible to pass along a healthy vision of how we want our children to live their lives. This kind of guiding relationship is especially important during the high school years. High school is the time when students start to develop their own opinions about the world and how

they fit into it. They begin to experiment with their personal identity, how they experience themselves and how they present themselves to others. We want to help teenagers find a healthy balance which integrates both their individual needs and the values with which they’ve been taught to live their lives. Rebbeim in particular are in a position to do a tremendous amount of good on this front. There are many teachers and rebbeim who are skilled at fostering such relationships. They’re able to connect with talmidim on a level that allows each child to feel comfortable engaging as they are. What’s the secret to these successes? How can we take their model and improve on it? In order to answer these questions, we need to look at the foundation of the average high school student. What

forms a teenager? What motivates them? How can we leverage these concepts to support their growth in a healthy way, both emotionally and spiritually? A child’s life perspective is shaped primarily by his upbringing. His motivations to pursue any given goal will be heavily influenced by his environment and impressions of what he sees at home. It’s likely that any two people going through the same motions will have completely different objectives and motivations. For example, two chavrusas can learn together for years, learning exactly the same subjects. One does so in order to feel spiritually fulfilled. The other does so in order to present an acceptable face to his peers or family. The one learning two seats over does it to feel connect-

ed to a larger group. These different motivations will present as recurring themes throughout each person’s life. It’s important to know what perspectives each student’s background creates and to understand how they play out practically. Developmentally, teens and young adults are looking to fit in. This drives essentially every decision that a teenager makes. The bochur learning with geshmak in the beis medrash wants to fit in and is working to balance his personality with the group he sees as positive and healthy. The boy who’s dropped out of yeshiva and is running the streets with others is doing the same. He’s experienced a degree of acceptance in the streets that he hasn’t experienced in other settings, for any number of reasons. He feels like he fits in better there than anywhere else.

The Jewish Home | FEBRUARY 20, 2020 The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

Teenagers are drawn to whatever environment sparks the idea of “I will fit in here and be accepted.” The same is true on an individual scale; people in general tend to gravitate towards those they feel accepted by. As rebbeim (and parents, for that matter), it can be very difficult to come across as non-judgmental and accepting while at the same time promoting our agenda. Make no mistake, that’s exactly what mechanchim, whether in class or at home, are trying to do. We’re pushing an agenda, while at the same time trying to support healthy individuality and growth. The trick is to make the agenda what’s best for the talmid and work with each talmid to fit the ultimate goals of that agenda into his life. If that’s honestly what the rebbi strives for, it will come across that way. This can be difficult, as it demands genuine and obvious objectivity on the part of the teacher. The talmid will be more willing to let the rebbi in if he honestly feels that his best interests are at heart and won’t be judged for his imperfections. This kind of engagement is not limited to the students who seem to be having trouble. A rebbi needs to engage with each talmid on an individual level. This is important regardless of how he seems to be doing academically. Not engaging with those who present as doing well limits the definition of the individual to someone who learns, and nothing more. This sends the message of: “You’re learning, so you must be fine in general.” This is not true. We are all created as individuals with many strengths, many weaknesses, and various drives and urges. Choosing to focus on the “problem” students or the more apparently “at-risk” stands to deny the opportunity of real fulfillment to those not being actively worked with. It’s not uncommon for the “masmid” or “top boy” to struggle with issues that push him to excel as a way to avoid facing other personal challenges. His excellence may, in fact, be a presentation of these issues. Although the relationship between excellence and life challenges may not be true for all, it does exist as a significant minority. Making a point to get to know and work with everyone, regardless of their performance, sends the message that they’re unique and important. It also helps ensure

that whatever success they have is genuine and personalized growth and not a presentation of avoidance or some other underlying difficulty. Engaging in this way gives the rebbi an opportunity to teach a talmid how to look at himself in an honest way and see where he’s going, as well as where his unique blend of humanity needs him to be. This kind of introspection needs to be ongoing. It’s a skill which needs to be taught and nurtured. In a way, it’s more important than the academic skills. There may come a time in a person’s life during which he is not using the academic skills learned as a young man. He will, however, always have to manage his own path. Introspection and discussion are the only ways to effectively do that. Possibly most important for the rebbi is the need to help each talmid find himself spiritually. There’s a lot of focus on doing, on the actions we take as religious Jews. There’s decidedly less focus on the mindset and the inner meanings of these actions. Students need to be given the concept of personal connection and helped to understand how to develop it. Assigning meaning to action is a fluid concept, which will change numerous times throughout a person’s life. The skill of identifying and strengthening that connection needs to be taught early. Ideally, this should begin before high school. A child who learns to make mitzvos personal will excel far beyond one who does not possess that skill. Supporting a talmid in developing a sense of personal ruchniyus involves helping them to understand their strengths, weaknesses, urges, and feelings. It’s a lifelong process that each individual has to own for themselves. Having a rebbi or a teacher openly discuss the existence of such a process and mentor their students in beginning the journey can help them to find a personalized avenue of avodas Hashem which can last them a lifetime. Rebbeim can make a point of regularly speaking to every student under their tutelage. The point of these conversations is to get to know each talmid. Between conversations, rebbeim should pay attention to aspects of the student that stand out, either positively or negatively. These points can

inform where the conversation needs to go and how to provide encouragement and positive reinforcement in a way that lands authentically. Nothing says “I see you and appreciate your efforts and struggles” like paying attention and giving non-judgmental feedback. By engaging with talmidim in this way, a rebbi can begin to understand his individual motivations and aspirations.

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passing relationship with each talmid’s parents. Aside from getting basic insight into what kind of upbringing the boy has, it will shed light on how his parents relate to him. This can put the student’s motivations and aspirations into perspective and help the rebbi know how to guide each talmid along his own path. Each individual is a world unto himself. Every child, each son or

Making a point to get to know and work with everyone, regardless of their performance, sends the message that they’re unique and important. These conversations are important in high school, and more so in a beis medrash, where a lot of the daily schedule is more freestyle. In these settings, a talmid can theoretically go for weeks without speaking with a rebbi. Without this kind of contact, it’s almost impossible to give appropriate guidance, or even to know when it’s needed. A talmid thus risks being swept along with the flow of those around him, without stopping to consider how it impacts him personally. Similarly, a rebbi with talmidim can gain awareness of the background of his charges by developing at least a

daughter, is a mass of possibilities, of potential and radiance, if only they can be taught to see those qualities. By taking the time to appreciate each child, we show the child that there is what to appreciate and open the door to a lifetime of fulfillment and Torah living. Yeshaya Kraus, LCSW, is a psychotherapist in private practice in Far Rockaway, NY. He works with teens and their parents and with couples. He welcomes feedback and can be reached via email at yeshaya@ yeshayakrauslcsw.com or by phone at 917412-5824.

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FEBRUARY 20, 2020 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Dating Dialogue

What Would You Do If… Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW of The Navidaters

Dear Navidaters,

There are many things I like about Chava. She is an amazing, responsible girl with great middos who comes from a warm, close knit, ballebatish family. From the day I walked into her home, I noticed that she is a lot more high maintenance than I am. The family living room is gated off, and children are not permitted. Shoes are to be taken off by the door by every visitor. The house is fancy, to say the least. Whenever I go there to pick her up, they offer me a snack/drink. I notice that her mother looks super-anxious, is constantly cleaning up after every crumb dropped. Her mom seems super-intense, maybe even OCD with her standards. We grew up vacationing in the mountains, rented out an RV, roasted marshmallows, would catch a fish and grill it that night. I know this seems petty but this lifestyle is so miles apart from how Chava was raised. If they go as far out as having a picnic it needs to be on the premises of a five-star resort with immaculate bathrooms readily available. We seem to fall in line with many things, but A) I don’t know if her mother’s OCD habits should affect my decision to marry her (is it genetic, etc.); and B) I know she says she doesn’t need that lifestyle but does she really know what she’s getting into being with a normal guy like me who will never hold a candle to her life as she has known it for the past 26 years? Thanks in advance, Dani

Disclaimer: This column is not intended to diagnose or otherwise conclude resolutions to any questions.

Our intention is not to offer any definitive

conclusions to any particular question, rather offer areas of exploration for the author and reader. Due to the nature of the column receiving only a short snapshot of an issue, without the benefit of an actual discussion, the panel’s role is to offer a range of possibilities. We hope to open up meaningful dialogue and individual exploration.

The TheJewish JewishHome Home| |FEBRUARY OCTOBER 20, 29, 2020 2015

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The Panel The Rebbetzin Rebbetzin Faigie Horowitz, M.S. ani, Lifestyle differences between two people contemplating marriage are significant, even if a young woman is 26 years old and says she is fine. So is a family environment of anxiety, whether it is OCD or not. While it is wonderful that you and Chava have aligned world views, middos, and other values, living together as a couple facing challenges and dealing with money and finances are going to be particularly challenging for the two of you. Differences in lifestyle cause expectations to differ and become a challenge. Handling money, living within a budget, and making deliberate choices about purchases are hard for all young newlyweds, let alone those with contrasting backgrounds. In a recent lecture at the “Love and Laughter Marriage Enrichment Program” sponsored by the Jewish Women Leaders Council of the Five Towns and the Gural JCC, Dr. David Pelcovitz cited research done on frum couples that was recently conducted in Baltimore. The number one thing observant couples wished they had had more preparation for before marrying was dealing with money. It wasn’t shalom bayis nor chosson/kallah classes. It takes a lot of communication, understanding, and commitment to decide on which purchases need agreement and which don’t, let alone managing debt, setting financial goals, and keeping to responsible financial practices. Dani, you need to do a lot of talking with Chava about finances – past, present, and future. What are your practices? Where do they derive from? She needs to share the same. During these discussions, you will not only open up to potential problems in a permanent relation-

ship, you will see how open you can be with each other. You will also learn about whether each of you can successfully respond to worries and stressors felt by the other. It’s OK to be different in style but can you provide the emotional support for each other in the way you need it when facing problems? Thus, you need to spend a lot more time together to see if your practices as well as your outlook can successfully work together. Talk about conflict management styles, learn her love languages, and handle issues together. Open communication about family matters, styles, and values are just as important. Chava and you need to get to the point where you not only share about your families and possible mental health issues within the family but also discuss scenarios where you will have big and small differences of background, experience, and practice. How you navigate these over time will give you your answer about whether this is a match. If you two don’t develop the skills over time to navigate differences in backgrounds, practice, and experiences, even if feelings develop further, the match does not have a future.

The Shadchan Michelle Mond here are two issues here which you present: one is regarding OCD and one is regarding personal lifestyle differences. Both of these are crucial, so I will address them both. There is no way for you to know for sure about your future motherin-law’s condition unless you ask Chava directly. No shoes allowed in the house and a gated off living room could just be characteristics of an obsessively neat, Yekkish, or Hungarian mother. You could be coming from the opposite extreme and find her actions outlandish but

to her it is normal. Either way, you cannot ignore the things that bother you, because they will continue to bother you tenfold after marriage. There is a big difference between having clear cut, diagnosable OCD and someone who is a neat freak and has some OCD characteristics. People with OCD tend to have ritualistic and repetitive behaviors much worse than just being anxious about crumbs dropping on the floor and cleanliness. People with OCD have hand-washing compulsions, obsessions with symmetry, obsessive need for cleanliness, and an obsessive preoccupation with tidiness. This obsessive tendency will make their daily life extremely difficult. Although this kind of obsessive behavior can contribute to a sense of “controlling personal anxiety,” the tension will continue to be present.

Can Chaya transition from caviar and croissants to pizza and popcorn?

There is also something called OCPD – Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder – which is not characterized by compulsions. People with OCPD usually find pleasure in perfecting a perfectionist task, whereas people with OCD are often more distressed after their actions. Unlike OCPD, OCD is described as

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invasive, stressful, time-consuming obsessions and habits aimed at reducing the obsession related stress. OCD symptoms are considered ego-dystonic because they are experienced as not normal to the person. Therefore, there is a greater mental anxiety associated with OCD. Symptoms of OCPD are not linked with repulsive thoughts or obsessions. OCPD characteristics and behaviors are known as ego-syntonic, so people with this disorder view themselves as reasonable. On the other hand, the main features of perfectionism and rigidity can result in considerable family suffering with those who suffer from OCPD as a result of the associated need for control. Now that you can recognize the difference between the two, you may look at your possible new future mother-in-law with rose colored glasses (with clean lenses, of course). Perhaps you were too harsh judging her, and, rather than a disorder, she just happens to be obsessively neat. Perhaps Chava is the complete opposite of her mother because of her upbringing. This happens often when someone is burnt by a specific character trait present in a parent who made life incredibly difficult. Talk to Chava about it, clear your mind, so that you can arm yourself with knowledge about how to proceed. Onto your next question regarding lifestyle differences. Can someone who is used to living in the lap of luxury learn to live simply and rough it? It is much easier for someone of lesser means to get used to living a luxurious life than vice versa. Chava might be so enthralled with your relaxed demeanor and chilled personality that she is not even thinking along those lines. You must present this in the form of a serious conversation with her. Express your concerns directly to her and see where the conversation goes. Also, actions speak louder than words. Take a hike! (Literally!) Take her on a Sunday date to a state park, bring a cooler with snacks, and see how she handles it. Does she ask after an hour to go back to the car? Or does she truly love this natural,

relaxed, new world that you have opened her eyes to. By being both openly honest in your communication and physically experiencing it with her, you will gain indelible insight. You will gain more insight than any answers I can possibly give. Hatzlacha!

The Single Rena Friedman ani, it is always difficult when a red flag comes up in a relationship, but I can assure you that you can gain easy insight into this problem. I work in the financial sector, so I cannot tell you if OCD is genetic. I can speak to my friends and my own experiences. When we see things in our homes, whether good or bad, we either do the same thing or the exact opposite of what we see. Yes, there is that gray middle, but especially with extremes, a person is usually vocal in one direction. Chava is not her mother. Yes, she was influenced by the home she was raised in, but that does not mean she agrees with it. Does she express anything positive or negative about how her mother behaves? Does she notice that her mother’s behavior is extreme? It is very possible that the things you see are driving Chava nuts too. Just because Chava grew up in a more high maintenance home does not mean that she is high maintenance. Is Chava high maintenance? You should be able to answer that question based off of the information you have gathered from dating her. Does she demand you take her to certain fancy restaurants? How does she respond when you suggest going on a hike or grabbing a slice of pizza? Chava might have been raised differently than you, but that does not mean that is her identity or what she wants out of life. Just like you have been dating Chava, she has been dating you, too. Does Chava know what she’s getting into dating a normal guy like you? You tell me. Have you told her what you like to do in your free time or

what you think is fun? Have you described how you were raised and how you want to raise your family? If yes, then she knows what she is signing up for. On your next date, take Chava on a hike. Go roast some marshmallows. Go mountain biking. Do some of those fun activities you did as a child and see how she responds. Does she have a good time or is she complaining that she got dirt on her shoes? As always, look at what she does, not what she says. Additionally, have an open and honest conversation with Chava. Ask her how she envisions her future home to look like. Explain your concerns regarding how you were both raised so differently. No matter what, do not speak negatively about her mother. Make it a positive conversation about your potential future together. While building a new home, both of you will have to compromise. You and Chava have the luxury of taking what you have both learned from your parents’ homes and life experiences to create your own home that can be as messy or clean or as strict or fun as you want it to be.

The Zaidy Dr. Jeffrey Galler efore you even wrote to us, you have already undoubtedly come to understand that you must wear clean socks, without obvious holes, before coming to visit Chaya’s parents and that if Chaya’s mother ever babysits for your children, do not expect her to change the baby’s dirty diapers. But, seriously, here are the important issues. 1. Your girlfriend’s parents It is extremely unlikely that your potential in-laws will ever change. What you see is what you’ll get. And, remember that, like it or not, they will be an important part of your lives for a very, very long time. So, you need to do some soul-searching. Can you live with her parents’ obsessive/compulsive/ idiosyncratic behavior? If you, and Chaya, can decide to accept, respect,

Look at what she does, not what she says. and love her parents just the way they currently present themselves, you’ll be okay. If you can both agree to consider their behavior as an annoying but amusing, eccentric quirk, you will not let this issue ruin your married lives together. 2. Your girlfriend I am more concerned about Chaya than about her parents. I do not know if OCD is genetic. No one has ever conclusively determined what percentage of a person’s behavior comes from nature or nurture. First, it may not be a major problem if Chaya’s current persona has incorporated her parents’ fetish with cleanliness and spotlessness. She can, perhaps, accept change. In fact, she may welcome and appreciate your more relaxed, informal lifestyle. This is easily verified. How about going on dates where you take her on an off-road bicycle trail? Go horseback riding? Go fishing? Go on a sweaty hike on a dusty mountain trail? Second, while a behaviorally or culturally different upbringing does not worry me too much, a substantially different financial upbringing does worry me. If Chaya is used to having wealthy parents provide expensive shopping, housing, and vacationing, will you be able to support her in the lifestyle to which she has become accustomed? Getting used to a less formal lifestyle is a lot simpler than getting used to a less affluent lifestyle. I remember, years ago, how a friend of mine bragged to his date about his annual salary; she scoffed and replied that she was used to spending that much every two weeks. Can Chaya transition from caviar and croissants to pizza and popcorn? You need to investigate this carefully before committing yourself to marriage. Good luck, and make sure to shine your shoes and wash behind your ears before visiting her parents.

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Pulling It All Together The Navidaters Dating and Relationship Coaches and Therapists

The inheritance pattern of OCD is unclear. Overall, the risk of developing the condition is greater for first degree relatives of affected individuals (such as siblings and children) as compared to the general public. For unknown reasons, the risk of developing the disorder appears to be higher in some families than in others. However, most people who have a close relative with OCD will not develop the condition themselves. ―NIH U.S. National Library of Medicine; Genetics Home Reference; Your Guide to Understanding Genetic Conditions

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

FEBRUARY 20, 2020 | The Jewish Home

i Dani! Thank you for writing in. We don’t know if Chava will develop Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). I understand your real and valid concern. You may want to speak with an OCD expert (which I am not) to gain a greater understanding of the condition and what the likelihood is of Chava developing it. Sometimes a little psychoeducation can go a long way. I’m not convinced that Chava’s mother has OCD, though she may. Other factors would have to be ruled out to make such a diagnosis. No one knows what the future holds. We cannot make decisions based on the fear of the future. The best way to make a decision is to be mindful of the present, taking in all current factors and circumstances. Let’s plug your variables into this decision-making formula. What does you know right now? 1. Dani really likes Chava. She’s awesome! (Yay!) She’s amazing, responsible, has great

middos and comes from a warm, close knit, baalebatish family. 2. Dani knows that Chava’s family is on the fancier side (OK, full blown fancy pants! Lavish picnics, gated living rooms, etc.) 3. Dani knows that Chava’s mother likes things neat and tidy and that sometimes her need to clean tiny crumbs and her anxious attitude make him uncomfortable. He is concerned that Chava may develop the same habits. My questions for you…. 1. What about Chava? I didn’t get a sense of whether or not Chava is a “fancy pants” from your email. Does Chava currently behave like her mother? 2. How does Chava behave on your dates? What kind of dates have you been on? Have you been trying to impress her and going beyond your means with fancy dates? Or have you been taking her to places you can afford and feel comfortable in? 3. How does Chava act on your affordable dates? Does she seem upset? Has she said anything to you? Or does she seem completely relaxed in her environment? I got the best advice from a coach I met over the weekend. She said, “When you’re on a date, instead of analyzing the other person’s every move, check in with yourself and ask yourself how you are feeling. Does this person make me comfortable? Is this person really asking me about myself? Do I feel wanted? Do I feel unwanted? Pay attention to your stomach muscles. Are they

tight? Are they relaxed? Is there tension in my shoulders? Or are they relaxed? The body holds the answer.” With regard to differences in lifestyle… yes, this sometimes can create conflict for a couple. But this conflict tends to arise when it is not discussed amongst the couple. If you are serious about Chava and believe she may be the one, you two lovebirds have to talk about this. You just have to. You have to bring your concerns to Chava in a respectful, caring way. And then, see how she responds. It can go so many different ways so we won’t spend our time guessing until the cows come home. I know people who grew up with incredible wealth and affluence who had the perfect, museum-style home and they hated it! They are the most down-toearth people now who shutter at the thought of that lifestyle. We also know people who grew up that way and won’t tolerate any less. (No judgment here… I kind of get it – to grow up in the lap of luxury with every creature comfort and amenity provided to you and then moving to a life of “struggling” can be hard for some.) Dani, you may want to see a therapist with Chava. I know you aren’t engaged so it wouldn’t be pre-mar-

ital therapy. But I have met with countless couples who are serious about each other and they just want to have a “pre-pre-marital” session to discuss concerns. I think this is the healthiest thing couples can do! A productive, guided conversation with a mental health professional may help shed some serious light on your situation. But remember, only you can make this decision. No one can tell you it will be OK or that it won’t work out. I know that is a hard place to be in. But I also know that after you’ve done your information gathering (talking, maybe a little therapy) you will be in the best place ever to trust your intuition! It will always be there for you. Good luck, Dani! All the best, Jennifer

Jennifer Mann, LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and dating and relationship coach working with individuals, couples, and families in private practice at 123 Maple Avenue in Cedarhurst, NY. She also teaches a psychology course at Touro College. To set up a consultation or to ask questions, please call 516-2247779, ext. 2. Visit www.thenavidaters. com for more information. If you would like to submit a dating or relationship question to the panel anonymously, please email thenavidaters@gmail. com. You can follow The Navidaters on FB and Instagram for dating and relationship advice.

Hi Readers! Receiving your enthusiastic emails wanting to participate in the Reader’s Respond section has been wonderful! Just a reminder about how Reader Response works. Email thenavidaters@gmail. com with the subject line “Reader Response.” We will then ask you, in the order we receive your email, if you would like to respond to the coming week’s email. If you would like to respond to an already printed Navidaters Panel, please submit your answer to the editor at editor@fivetownsjewishhome.com. You can also join us on our FB page @thenavidaters on Sunday evenings to post your response to the week’s column. Interacting with you has been a pleasure! Thank you for all of your feedback. Jennifer

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Health & F tness

Why You Feel So Bloated Causes and Cures for a Common Ailment By Aliza Beer MS, RD, CDN

loating is when the belly feels swollen after eating. It is usually caused by excess gas production or disturbances in the movement of the muscles of the digestive system. Bloating often causes pain, discomfort, and a “stuffed” feeling. It can even cause your stomach to look bigger and inflate the number on the scale! Bloating involves excessive amounts of solids, liquids, and/or gas in the digestive system. About 16-30% of people report that they regularly experience bloating, so this is a very common complaint. Let’s discuss some potential causes and possible cures for this issue. • Too Much Fiber: I always counsel my clients to eat more fiber since it helps regulate the appetite, promote weight loss, control blood sugar, and assists in regular elimination. However, we sometimes make the mistake of taking in too much fiber. When someone is attempting to eat healthier and increase their fiber intake, they should go about this

lifestyle change slowly and gradually increase their fiber intake over the course of a couple of weeks. When your body isn’t used to fiber and you suddenly switch to a diet full of salads, fruits, vegetables, and whole grains, you are likely to experience painful bloating. Replace your low-fiber foods with high-fiber ones slowly, one at a time, and the transition to a healthier lifestyle will be a lot more comfortable. • Liquid Overload: Hydration is very important, but it’s much better for your body to sip water throughout the day than guzzle down a liter in a few minutes. Drinking small sips of water regularly during the day will encourage healthy digestion, but consuming water too quickly can cause painful bloat because the body can’t absorb all that water at once. The stomach ends up storing the excess fluid – hence the bloat. • Another effect of drinking too much water too quickly is that it can actually cause you to lose hydration

rather than gain it. Ingesting a large quantity of fluid will have a diuretic effect on the body because it will trigger urination and clear the body of stored fluids. If you’re thirsty, you are better off taking small sips of water over an extended period of time (an hour or more), than gulping down a massive amount at once. • Constipation: If the belly is rock-solid, then that indicates the possibility of impacted bowel movements and constipation. Relieving constipation can be done naturally by increasing water intake and eating foods high in insoluble fiber. Bran, seeds, and fresh fruits and vegetables with the skins intact can all encourage your body to pass a bowel movement. I generally find that ground flaxseeds, prunes, figs or dates work very well. If natural interventions fail, then you may need some over-the-counter stool softeners or laxatives. If the constipation persists, seek medical advice from your primary care physician. • Acid Reflux: If the bloating

is affecting the upper belly (just below the rib cage), and intensifies after meals, then you may be suffering from acid reflux. Acid reflux is the result of stomach acid pushing its way into the upper abdomen and esophagus, causing nausea and burning in the throat. There are some natural ways to try to control acid reflux. One is avoiding raw vegetables on an empty stomach. Also, don’t lie down immediately after eating. Avoid fried and spicy foods, as well as carbonated beverages. If these measures don’t improve your symptoms, then discuss with your doctor how to proceed, since there are medications available that will reduce the acid levels in the stomach and help prevent the uncomfortable and often painful symptoms. • Excess Weight Around the Midsection: Excess belly fat will place more pressure on the midsection, especially when sitting and eating. This can stifle digestion and cause bloat. People who have

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a “pear shape” or store their body fat primarily around the midsection tend to bloat more than people with other body types. Losing some weight will definitely help with this issue. Another good idea is to take a walk after a meal, since this will help kickstart the digestive process. Just don’t walk at too intense of a pace or you might upset your stomach. • A r t i fic ia l Sweetener s: Many of us consume sugar substitutes, including sucralose, aspartame, stevia, and sugar alcohols, to avoid unnecessary calories or promote weight loss. These artificial sweeteners are known to cause belly bloat because they contain chemical compounds that the digestive tract has difficulty breaking down. Recent studies suggest that many of these sweeteners actually increase your appetite, thus prompting you to overeat! Most experts recommend that you moderate your consumption of them or preferably cut them out of your diet all together.

• Too Many Vegetables: Believe it or not, something so healthy and nutritious can cause pain and bloat as well. Too much of something good is still just too much. Some veggies are notoriously known for causing lots of gas, such as broccoli, cauliflower, Brussel sprouts, and cabbage. If you tend to bloat easily, then avoid these veggies and stick to safer alternatives like zucchini, mushrooms, delicata squash, and spaghetti squash. • Carbonated Beverages: Seltzer is a much healthier option than soda, but when it comes to bloat, avoid them both. Carbonated beverages cause the stomach to expand, and it’s the bubbles that are to blame. Your best option is water, and if you need flavoring, then buy a cup with a “cage” in it to hold frozen fruit. Fill the cup with water and the frozen fruit will naturally flavor your water. Unsweetened iced tea is another good option. • Gastrointestinal Diseas-

es: Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) and Small Intestine Bacterial Overgrowth (SIBO) can cause significant gastric distress including bloating. IBS and SIBO need to be diagnosed by a physician and will require treatment that may include change of diet and medication. • Food Intolerances: The most common food intolerances are to lactose and gluten. If you suspect that you have a food allergy or intolerance, then seek advice from your physician. Once it is determined that you are intolerant to a food, the best way to manage it is by avoiding that food. Once the food is eliminated for at least two weeks, the bloat and any other symptoms should disappear. There are numerous reasons that some people experience abdominal bloating. Change of diet will be crucial to managing and possibly eliminating the bloat. In addition, several clinical studies have shown

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that certain probiotic supplements can help reduce gas production and bloating in people with digestive issues. If you have chronic bloating, or if your bloating has worsened all of a sudden, then it is imperative that you seek medical attention in order to rule out a serious medical condition and to diagnose any digestive problems. It’s very possible that there are simple fixes you can easily implement in your diet that will ease your bloating. By becoming familiar and aware of various factors that contribute to this, you can begin to deflate that bloating and feel much better after eating and drinking.

Aliza Beer is a registered dietitian with a master’s degree in nutrition. She has a private practice in Cedarhurst, NY. Patients’ success has been featured on the Dr. Oz show. Aliza can be reached at alizabeer@gmail.com, and you can follow her on Instagram at @alizabeer.

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Dr. Deb

But This is Not Normal By Deb Hirschhorn, Ph.D.

“D

Fjj

r. Deb, this is not normal,” she said to me with great logic. And she was right. What she was dealing with was not normal, healthy behavior. This was my very first client in my new private practice twenty-five years ago in another state. “I am so

sick and tired of being in therapy to correct something that was not my fault in the first place. Why do I have to bend over backwards to put up with my sick mother?” Why, after all? For that matter, why should a husband have to put up with a wife

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screaming at him over every little thing that goes wrong even if he had nothing to do with it? Or why should a wife have to put up with her husband’s neglect when she has only treated him nicely? Why not just throw in the towel and say, “I’m done”? Why put up with what is intolerable every day? Certain elements of the therapy community will say, “Well, the answer is obvious! These people are co-dependent. They’re so needy, they can’t let go.” Oh, really? Here’s another answer: They’re loyal, committed; they believe in the goodness of their partner underneath the mess, and they have hope that, with the right solution, their partner will be able to step up to the plate and take responsibility for making changes. Such people are generous with their love and compassion. They see the good when the people whose behavior is not good don’t even see it in themselves. They will often put others first ahead of themselves. Now before you rush to condemn them, think of Mrs. Henny Machlis or the tzaddikim that will receive people asking questions at all hours of the day and night. Rabbi Feiner told the story of someone who wanted to “help” out the Lubavitcher Rebbe by suggesting he get more sleep! So which is it? Are these people who “put up” with spouses that mistreat them co-dependent or extra

kind, patient, and forgiving? It is not hard to tell the difference, by the way. And maybe that’s what’s needed right here. Here are the other qualities of loving spouses who believe in the person who needs some help: • They are happy. Yes, in spite of all this, they are happy within themselves. They are happy with their lot in life. They don’t let the behavior of the misbehaving spouse “get” to them. It doesn’t. • They put things in perspective. They realize that there is some problem with their spouse. They don’t necessarily know what it is, but they are willing to find out and therefore not take the inappropriate behavior personally. • They’ve conquered their triggers. This means that they don’t have automatic knee-jerk reactions to things their spouse does. They’ve done their inner reflection and know what their triggers are so that when they feel themselves getting upset, they know what steps to take to minimize the reaction. It also means that they aren’t baited into fights. • They are kindly. Their patience and tolerance are part of who they are; they’re nice people and want the best for everyone. Their willingness to wait through the bad times comes from their big heart. So this means that if someone is needy – a complete opposite of the description above – then their reactions would be different: They’d be patient with their partner because they’re afraid to be alone and don’t love them-

selves enough to take that chance. You can see how the two cases come from the opposite mindset. The needy person doesn’t have a sense of self and self-love, so they must “borrow” validation, attention, affection, anything, from their partner. If the partner mistreats them, they are like the hungry person just glad to get some food, even if it’s not enough; it is sufficient for bare survival. A little attention in the form of a lull in a conversation in the middle of unpleasant words can feel good to such a deprived person. It feels like “we’re relating.” And that will keep the needy person in the relationship. But the person who is truly generous of heart gives out of concern for the soul of their mate and will keep giving in the hope of finding some healing along the way. It is for this reason that I’ve often heard unhappy couples say, “We are not thinking of divorce. We want to fix this.” That is beautiful and commendable, and I honestly don’t think that these good

people are properly recognized by the therapy community. The woman I opened up this story with was such a person. She’d gone through the most unimaginable childhood with parental abuse of alcohol and strange men coming around at

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on it at all. She was tired of the whole thing. But in retrospect, given what she started with, anxiety was a small price to pay. It could have been much worse. However, out of the blue, here was her long-exiled mom wanting some

Their willingness to wait through the bad times comes from their big heart.

odd hours. She was neglected emotionally and got no guidance on how to live. Yet somehow, miraculously, she came through it all to be a thoughtful, kindly person. She wanted only the best for her own family. She suffered from anxiety and was working hard with me on that. She was so frustrated that she even needed to work

of the goodness that she had created. That meant facing this mother who had more than abandoned her as a child. It seemed so unfair to have to carry yet another burden. But she did. She stepped up to the plate because that is who she was. Responsible. And kind.

And it did work out. I worked alone with her mother for some time to be sure that she was now stable and addiction-free. She was. So, eventually, there was a reunification and this woman got to have a relationship with grandchildren that was far healthier than the one she’d had with her own children. But even kindness needs limits. How long will the good, kind you, the you that is happy and not triggered by your partner’s behavior (or your mother’s for that matter), continue to “take it” without seeing changes? That’s the question. We still are obligated to take care of ourselves. First. And the way to do that is to get the very best help for the problem that you can.

Dr. Deb Hirschhorn is a Marriage and Family Therapist. If you want help with your marriage, begin by signing up to watch her Masterclass at https://drdeb. com/myw-masterclass.

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FEBRUARY 20, 2020 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

In The K

tchen

Sesame Couscous Chicken By Naomi Nachman

It was so exciting when Near East products asked to do a collaboration with me as I use them in my cooking competitions. I use the couscous in the mystery baskets because it can be an open canvas for any chef to season. Over the years, I have seen so many of my competitors use the product in super-creative ways. For example, rather than using it as a side dish, use the couscous as a coating for chicken (or salmon). It cooks up so fast and in just a few minutes you have that big crackle sound.

Photo credit: Melinda Strauss

Ingredients 1 ½ pounds thinly sliced boneless skinless chicken breasts 2-3 large eggs, whisked 1 box Near East Couscous Original 2 tablespoons white sesame seeds 2 tablespoons black sesame seeds ¾ cup flour 2 lemons for zest 1 tsp kosher salt Canola oil, for frying

Preparation Prepare three bowls: one with flour; one with uncooked couscous together with the sesame seeds, salt, pepper and zest from two lemons; and a third bowl with eggs. Begin by coating one chicken breast in flour. Then coat with egg mixture (let excess egg drip off), and then coat with the couscous mixture Set chicken on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Wait 30 minutes before frying. This helps the coating really stick to the chicken. Heat a large frying pan with enough oil to come about ¼ inch up the sides of the pan. When the oil is hot, fry for about 3 minutes on each side or until golden brown. Place cooked chicken on paper towels to soak up excess oil. Serve immediately.

Naomi Nachman, the owner of The Aussie Gourmet, caters weekly and Shabbat/ Yom Tov meals for families and individuals within The Five Towns and neighboring communities, with a specialty in Pesach catering. Naomi is a contributing editor to this paper and also produces and hosts her own weekly radio show on the Nachum Segal Network stream called “A Table for Two with Naomi Nachman.” Naomi gives cooking presentations for organizations and private groups throughout the New York/New Jersey Metropolitan area. In addition, Naomi has been a guest host on the QVC TV network and has been featured in cookbooks, magazines as well as other media covering topics related to cuisine preparation and personal chefs. To obtain additional recipes, join The Aussie Gourmet on Facebook or visit Naomi’s blog. Naomi can be reached through her website, www.theaussiegourmet.com or at (516) 295-9669.

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Notable Quotes “Say What?!”

It hurts to cares much, work so hard, and still fall a little short. It’s okay to take a moment and feel that pain or process that disappointment. Take a walk around the block, eat an extra piece of chocolate, hug your pet, adopt a pet, watch videos of cats and dogs who are friends, call a friend — whatever works. - Email by Sen. Elizabeth Warren to supporters after her disappointing New Hampshire primary finish

A young girl came up to me tonight and said, “I’m a broke college student with a lot of student loan debt. I checked and I have $6 in the bank – so I just gave $3 to keep you in this fight.” We’re staying in this fight for the people who are counting on us. Seriously, I haven’t seen that many happy white guys since the Utah Jazz made the playoffs.

- 2020 presidential hopeful Sen. Elizabeth Warren in a TV interview after her disappointing finish in the New Hampshire primary

— Jimmy Fallon, talking about Trump’s impeachment acquittal event at the White House

You’re a millionaire. Why are you taking $3 from someone who only has $6?

Today, Joe Biden said that Mickey Mouse could run against President Trump and have a shot. Then Biden found out that he was polling third behind Mickey Mouse.

- Tweet by the Daily Caller’s Derek Hunter

— Conan O’Brien

I think we’ve become very disconnected from the natural world. And many of us, what we’re guilty of, is an egocentric worldview, the belief that we’re the center of the universe. We go into the natural world and we plunder it for its resources. We feel entitled to artificially inseminate a cow, and when she gives birth we steal her baby, even though her cries of anguish are unmistakable. And then we take her milk, that’s intended for her calf, and we put it in our coffee and our cereal. - A Hollywood actor at a recent award show

Do you feel Purim is knocking at the door? This is the time to start to invest [in making costumes] because our costume competition is getting closer. - Social media post by Ben & Jerry’s in Israel calling for photos of people in their Purim costumes

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You know, I think back now, and I think, in fact, some of you may be familiar with Nelson Mandela — remember that, and his fight for freedom in South Africa? — and people marching to the polls. I’m thinking about the civil rights movement, and people marching to the polls. Well, we’re fighting to change America. - Sen. Bernie Sanders encouraging supporters to vote in the Nevada caucuses

Voting in today’s New Hampshire primary started at midnight last night in the 12-person town of Dixville Notch. “Dixville Notch” is also what Joe Biden called a voter that disagreed with him… “I’ll pop you in the [mouth], you dirty Dixville Notch.” — Seth Meyers

There’s this enormous cohort of black and Latino males aged, let’s say, 16 to 25 that don’t have jobs, don’t have any prospects, don’t know how to find jobs, don’t know that the — what their skill sets are, don’t know how to behave in the workplace, where they have to work collaboratively and collectively. - 2020 hopeful Michael Bloomberg, in a 2011 interview with “PBS NewsHour” that has resurfaced now that he is running for president

I want y’all to think of a number: 99.9%. That’s the percentage of African-American voters who have not yet had a chance to vote in America. One more number: 99.8%. That’s the number of percentage of Latino voters who haven’t had the chance to vote.

Mini Mike is a 5’4” mass of dead energy who does not want to be on the debate stage with these professional politicians. No boxes please. He hates Crazy Bernie and will, with enough money, possibly stop him. Bernie’s people will go nuts! - Tweet by President Trump, escalating his feud with 2020 presidential candidate Mike Bloomberg

Trump spent the morning attacking Mike Bloomberg on Twitter and called him “a mass of dead energy.” When he heard that, Mike Pence was like, “Hey, that’s my nickname!” — Jimmy Fallon

At least I’m not a communist - James Carville, political strategist and former top adviser to President Bill Clinton, on CNN, after Sen. Bernie Sanders called him a political hack for criticizing the “Sanders cult”

– Joe Biden after coming in a disappointing fifth place in the New Hampshire primary

The flag should never be desecrated like that so you have to stop. You have to do something whether people are watching or not. - Chris Oslovich on Fox News after a video went viral showing him stopping his FedEx truck to pick up and fold an American flag that fell off of a porch

This is interesting: Amy Klobuchar’s rise in the polls is being called “klomentum.” That’s right. Yeah, and Joe Biden’s campaign is called “pretty much klover.” — Conan O’Brien

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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Even this morning at the nursery visit here, George and Charlotte were like, “Mummy, how could you possibly not be dropping us off at school this morning?” It’s a constant challenge – you hear it time and time again from moms, even moms who aren’t necessarily working and aren’t pulled in the directions of having to juggle work life and family life. - British royal Kate Middleton talking about “mom guilt” in a recent interview

The reason I wear them is very simple: I don’t have much hips. If I get too active, I have trouble keeping my pants up. -Lloyd Black, age 90, explaining to the TODAY show why he wears overalls when he works out three times a week at Anytime Fitness in Semmes, Alabama

Follow your passions, live the life you’ve imagined, and do what scares you.

My conversations with Gates have been underwhelming tbh [to be honest].

- NASA astronaut Christina Koch after returning to Earth last week, after a record-breaking 328 days in space, the longest single spaceflight by a woman

- Tweet by Tesla CEO Elon Musk after Bill Gates revealed in an interview that he purchased his first electric car and opted for a Porsche Taycan rather than a Tesla

PESACH 2020

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The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

Bail reform, it’s lit! It’s the Democrats! The Democrats know me and the Republicans fear me. You can’t touch me! I can’t be stopped! - Charles Barry, 56, who has been arrested 139 times for pickpocketing in the New York City subway system, talking to reporters after being arrested once again

I’m famous! I take $200, $300 a day of your money… You can’t stop me! It’s a great thing. It’s a beautiful thing. - Ibid.

Right now, as we’re speaking, I’m signing your presidential pardon. Your record will be expunged. Go on with your life. - Former NYPD Commissioner Bernie Kerik revealing to the New York Post this week about the phone call that he had with President Trump during which he learned that the president was pardoning him for his tax fraud conviction

I think the proper thing to do is if you’re going to recline into somebody that you ask if it’s okay first and then you do it. - Delta Air Lines CEO Ed Bastian on CNBC’s Squawk Box weighing in on proper airline etiquette after a 45-second social media video showing a man pummeling the back of a woman’s airplane seat went viral

Trump showed off a copy of USA Today, with the headline, “Acquitted.” Trump was like, “Now I can do anything I want. I even stole this USA Today from a Holiday Inn.” — Jimmy Fallon

OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

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Political Crossfire

The Reemergence of the Moderate Democrat By David Ignatius

or all the thunder on the Bernie Sanders left, the most interesting trend in the Democratic campaign this year may be the reemergence of the moderate wing of the party, led by charismatic new voices, “Mayor Pete” Buttigieg and Sen. Amy Klobuchar. In our barbell view of politics, where all the weight seems to be at the two ends, this reality may be obscured: Far more Americans (42%) described themselves as independents than as Democrats (27%) or Republicans (30%) in the most recent Gallup survey of party affiliation. The percentage of people who see themselves in this broad middle has rarely been higher. The Iowa caucus fiasco robbed Buttigieg of the impact of his victory there. But it was a startling performance by a young, relatively inexperienced candidate whose strongest message has been the impracticality of social programs proposed by Sanders and other progressives. While Sanders posted a win last Tuesday in New Hampshire, the bigger story there, arguably, was Buttigieg’s strong second-place showing and Klobuchar’s breakout performance in finishing third. The two moderates together carried 44.4% of the vote, compared with Sanders’ 25.8%. Even if you add Sen. Elizabeth Warren’s 9.2% to Sanders’ to-

tal, the balance is toward the center, not the left. What’s the 2020 story line so far? Here’s a suggestion: The more voters have looked at progressives’ expensive programs, the warier they have become. Warren never recovered from her embrace of compulsory Medicare. Voters see former Vice President Joe Biden as a spent force, but they still want a pragmatic candidate who can beat Donald Trump. That yearning for a strong moderate helped Buttigieg and Klobuchar, but the next beneficiary could be former New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg in the March 3 “Super Tuesday” primaries. Here’s another theme that’s often overlooked: The 2020 successes of moderate Democrats are a continuation of the 2018 midterm election results. The left wing of the Democratic Party, led by Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, got the attention then. But it was the centrist candidates who swung Republican districts into the Democratic column and thus delivered the House for Democrats in 2018. Think of moderate voices like Rep. Elissa Slotkin of Michigan or Rep. Conor Lamb of Pennsylvania. These candidates speak the same dialect as Buttigieg and Klobuchar. They can win in the Rust Belt because that’s where they live, literally

and figuratively. “Moderate” is one of those limp political descriptors, like “centrist” or “bipartisan,” that suggests a soggy lump in the middle. But the campaign proposals from Buttigieg, Klobuchar and even Bloomberg offer significant change – and in achievable ways. They get that the status quo isn’t working for most Americans. Their proposals for dealing with climate change, wealth inequality, and health care share a common virtue. They could actually be implemented without busting the budget or further polarizing the country. President Trump seems to think he can win reelection by dividing the country even more savagely. But for a frazzled, fatigued electorate, maybe this is the season for the “fix it” faction that offers realistic plans for solving problems. Take the existential threat of climate change. On Thursday, a broad coalition called the Climate Leadership Council – backed by leading environmentalists and some of the biggest energy companies and utilities – released a plan for a carbon tax and rebate that would radically cut emissions while also leaving most people better off economically. To win Republican and business support, the coalition also proposed cutting regulations that a carbon tax

would make unnecessary. Or consider the inequality and unfairness that are poisoning American life. That’s Sanders’ trademark issue, but there is broad agreement on the need for change. Prominent financiers such as Jamie Dimon of JPMorgan Chase and Ray Dalio of Bridgewater Associates, along with members of the Business Roundtable, are recommending fundamental changes. Bloomberg, like many billionaires, recognizes that we either reform our capitalist economy or risk losing it. The Democrats can blow this election, for sure. Moderates may have the numbers in the aggregate, but aggregates don’t win elections. Sanders has passion, and unless Democrats can coalesce around a pragmatic rival, the Milwaukee convention could be a bloodbath and the November election a blowout for Trump. Trump tosses new stink bombs every day. His fans love this carnival of resentment, but polls have shown since the beginning of his presidency that a majority of Americans don’t. Trump world is about raw power, to be sure. But there are some interesting, easily overlooked signs early in this 2020 campaign that maybe the shouters won’t win. (c) 2020, Washington Post Writers Group

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FEBRUARY 20, 2020 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Political Crossfire

How a Biden Collapse Could Benefit Sanders By Marc A. Thiessen

ow that both Sen. Elizabeth Warren, D-Mass., and former Vice President Joe Biden have left New Hampshire with possibly mortal wounds, who would benefit most if they dropped out? The conventional wisdom holds that a Warren implosion would help her fellow progressive, Sen. Bernie Sanders, I-Vt., while a Biden implosion would aid the so-called moderates – former mayors Pete Buttigieg of South Bend, Indiana, and Mike Bloomberg of New York, and Sen. Amy Klobuchar, D-Minn. Yet Sanders may stand to gain from exits by both Warren and Biden. Warren’s distant fourth-place finish in New Hampshire was obviously a good omen for Sanders. A January Pew poll found that 36% of Warren’s supporters would back Sanders if she were no longer in the race, compared with just 3% going to Bloomberg, 4% going to Klobuchar, and 13% going to Buttigieg. As Warren sheds voters, her troubles will likely give Sanders a significant boost. More surprising, however, is that a Biden collapse could also benefit Sanders. According to Pew, 21% of Biden voters said they would switch allegiance to Sanders if Biden were not in the race – more than would go to any other candidate. Biden, Bloomberg, and Klobuchar all ranked in the single digits. Why would Biden supporters name Sanders as their second choice? Biden attacked Sanders’ socialist proposals as unrealistic and unaf-

fordable. But Biden’s draw for many Democrats was not his moderate ideology; it was his perceived electability. Many Sanders supporters might have backed Biden this time around because their priority was to defeat Trump. They went with their heads and not their hearts. But now that the Biden electability myth has been shattered, some of these voters might decide to go with their hearts after all. In other words, if Warren and Biden leave the race, or suffer mass

defecting Warren and Biden voters, as might Bloomberg. Also, Biden and Warren were the second choice for many of each other’s supporters. According to Pew, 15% of Biden supporters said they would support Warren if Biden got out, and 18% of Warren supporters said they would back Biden if Warren got out. If they both got out, no telling who would pick them up. Finally, other polls have reported slightly different second-choice preferences.

Now that the Biden electability myth has been shattered, some of these voters might decide to go with their hearts after all.

defections, it could help Sanders not only to consolidate the progressive vote but also to eat away at some of the more moderate vote. Several caveats are in order. First, many Biden voters (36%) did not volunteer a second choice, so their votes could be up for grabs. And the poll was taken before the Iowa caucuses and New Hampshire primary, so voter preferences might change in response to those results. After Klobuchar’s and Buttigieg’s strong performances in New Hampshire, they might get a second look from

Quinnipiac found that while 35% of Warren supporters named Sanders as their second choice, only 13% of Biden supporters did so. Which poll is right? It’s impossible to know for sure. Second choices in this race are fluid. Many centrist Democrats looked at the New Hampshire returns and consoled themselves that Buttigieg and Klobuchar got a combined 44.2%, a nearly 10-point lead over the Sanders and Warren combined 34.9%, and concluded that all that is needed to stop Sanders is for more moderates to drop out. It’s more complicated. Not

all Warren voters go to Sanders. And plenty of voters now supporting moderates may end up supporting Sanders if their first choice leaves the race. There are reasons for that. First, the moderates in the Democratic race are moderate only when compared with Sanders. This is the most radically left-wing field of Democrats ever to run for president. When the candidates were asked during the most recent Democratic debate if they would be uncomfortable with a socialist leading the Democratic ticket, only Klobuchar and Tom Steyer raised their hands. And the only difference between Medicare-for-all (favored by Sanders and Warren) and “Medicare for all who want it” (also known as the public option, favored by Buttigieg, Bloomberg and Klobuchar) is that the former would eliminate private insurance instantly, while the latter would subject it to a slow, painful death. There really is not moderate lane in this race – only a left lane and a far-left lane. That means it’s not a big ideological jump for many Democratic voters to embrace Sanders. Indeed, millions of them have done so before. In 2016, Sanders won 12,029,699 votes in the Democratic primaries. Many of his 2016 supporters are now backing other candidates. These voters have already pulled the lever for Sanders once, so if their current choices stumble, that residual allegiance may draw them back to the democratic socialist from Vermont. (c) 2020, Washington Post Writers Group

The Jewish Home | FEBRUARY 20, 2020 The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

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FEBRUARY 20, 2020 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

A Fulfilled L fe

Sharing for Maximal Productivity By Naphtali Hoff, PsyD

ow that we have planned what we want to see accomplished, the next step (Step 2) towards increased productivity is to share information effectively and involve others to ensure that you and they are as productive as possible and that tasks and projects move forward on schedule. The five components of this step are: 1. Schedule regular standing meetings 2. Plan for regular communication 3. Implement and utilize collaboration software 4. Delegate 5. Monitor and review processes No project of scale can occur without clear communication. Everyone involved must know what needs to be done and how they’re expected to do it. Otherwise, you’ll quickly get a silo effect, under which team members work too independently and decrease productivity. (1) To help facilitate communication, consider scheduling daily standing meetings (often called morning huddles or daily check-ins). These meetings should be scheduled for first thing in the morning and kept short enough to comfortably complete them while standing. Position yourselves in a circle and use the time to review the day’s tasks and individual responsibilities, as well as minor challenges that teammates may be facing. This will keep everyone in the loop and help work through small issues that can often halt progress. It will also build accountability as members don’t want to let others in the

group down. (2) Separate from the morning huddles, plan a regular 1:1 meeting time with each team member to check in in a more personal manner. The goal should be to motivate colleagues, get an update on their individual progress, and troubleshoot problems that arise. The Table Group, led by Patrick Lencioni, advises that leaders schedule weekly time (45-90 minutes) for tactical meetings (to review activities and team metrics) as well as monthly meetings of a longer duration (2-4 hours) for more strategic conversations. Of course, there can be too much meeting occurring in your workspace (with too little value to show for it). A study by Atlassian showed that, on average, employees spend an hour a day in meetings, for a total of 31 hours per month. The same study found that almost half of employees believed meeting to be the number one timewaster at the office. This article offers ideas on how to make meetings more engaging and, dare I say it, fun. If you lead a remote team you may be thinking that, while in-person collaboration in person is great, it’s simply not possible for team members to be present at the same time and place. Remote and geographically dispersed teams face lots of challenges streamlining their workflows and improving collaboration. Some leaders continue to rely on email and other e-communication tools, such as WhatsApp, to share information. Despite the many benefits of e-communication, it can also present some meaningful downsides, including

the fact that emails can be ignored, pile up, and/or be difficult to find. (3) Efficient and fast communication should be in the form of fluid dialogue, not asynchronous. Collaboration software, also known as groupware, can help any team, from the smallest startup to the largest enterprise, to quickly and easily share content in documents, messages, videos, and other formats. Each employee can communicate additional information by making changes that the system tracks. The manager collects the inputs and sends the newly revised document to his target audience. Another benefit of collaboration software is improved scheduling. Lack of scheduling can waste up to 36 percent of employees’ work time. Businesses that plan and schedule their goals and activities get more done and are more effective. Daily, weekly and monthly scheduling allows teams to organize their workflows efficiently. With collaboration software, for instance, employees can share public or personal calendars to know all meetings and deadlines. Workers can schedule daily meetings, planning meetings, conferences, brainstorm sessions, and much more in just one click. (There are other benefits from having quality software. According to a study by Ultimate Software, 92% of employees say having technology that helps them do their job efficiently affects their work satisfaction. In a CITO Research report, 53% of respondents stated mobile apps improve business processes and productivity.) (4) Of course, all of this assumes

that you are prepared to delegate work. Delegation is a critical element to increased productivity because it allows leaders to focus on the things that they are uniquely positioned and/or required to do. It also clears the organizational bottleneck, by not making all work dependent on the leader’s input. (5) The final piece of the “share it” step is to monitor and review the above processes with your teammates. Stay on top of things and correct / redirect when necessary. This motivates colleagues (who don’t feel abandoned) and helps you catch problems early. Recognize key milestones, such as completed sub-components, along the way. When the process is complete, review everything to identify your successes as well as your failures. It is critical that complex processes such as communication, delegation, and, of course, execution, be reviewed openly and often to keep things humming. And, assuming there’s what to celebrate, applaud them. This can be anything from a simple “thank you” or “well done” to arranging for awards, gifts or bonuses.

Naphtali Hoff, PsyD, is an executive coach who helps busy leaders be more productive so that they can scale profits with less stress and get home at a decent hour. For a free, no obligation consultation, please call 212.470.6139 or email nh@impactfulcoaching.com. Check out his new leadership book, “Becoming the New Boss”, on Amazon. Download his free productivity blueprint at ImpactfulCoaching.com/ Productivity-Blueprint.

The Jewish Home | FEBRUARY 20, 2020

OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

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What’s the Deal with Retail? By Shlomo Chopp

he pundits talk about a retail apocalypse. Many of the stores at which we’ve shopped for years are closing, and Amazon is seemingly eating their lunch. If you think about it, the bigger question is what’s the deal in business. Technology has changed so many business models – from how we interact with our vendors and customers to how we assess the lifespan of a technology investments. If you build a building, you expect it to last many years. If you buy machinery, you expect it to perform for a very long time. Technology, however, is evolving so rapidly that companies often make investments in cutting-edge technology that is antiquated by the time it is put into place. Retail is no different. The Internet has given rise to many talented product companies. Never before have talented craftsmen been able to make something in a garage and sell to customers without securing shelf space in a Sears, Macy’s, Kmart, or the like. Big companies like to sell mass-produced high-profit products without regard as to whether there

is a better way. So naturally, when a more desirable product nimbly appears on the scene, the big box retailers, with their lumbering powerful systems and organizations, are unable to compete. So what’s up with the mall? Well, to open a store in the mall, not only does the landlord have to be confident that you will pay your rent in a timely basis, the tenant often invests sometimes millions of dollars in designing and renovating their space. Emerging cool online brands – the kind you find on Instagram – have been able to collectively steal enough business from the big box retailers. However, individually they are not financially strong enough to open at the mall. The result is that people are discovering and finding great products online but not when they’re wandering around the mall on a random Sunday. If there’s no supply, the demand will have to go elsewhere – namely online. This issue has brought about a new concept called “retail as a service.” It is the renting of turnkey shop space to emerging brands on a monthly basis.

Recently, a concept called Neighborhood Goods opened its second location in Chelsea market in Manhattan, and it highlights multiple emerging digital-first brands in a pop-up manner for about 3 to 12 months. Another concept called B8ta has opened stores across the country and is essentially an Apple store for many cool products. Another concept, Showfields, has become such a popular tourist spot that often you need a ticket to enter. We have recently introduced a new concept called Anchor Shops, which also provides logistics support to these brands. We are essentially filling vacant, big box retail spaces with the very same brands that put those big boxes out of business. While these digital native (ecommerce) brands cannot individually make a dent in the massive amount of vacancies brought about by closures of Macy’s, JCPenney, Sears and others, collectively they can share resources and create enough excitement to locate within the mall environment. Remember a few years back when everyone was so concerned about

Walmart putting small merchants out of business? Business is a cycle. It just takes some time for existing models to morph and adapt to new realities. E-commerce and physical retail are not two separate concepts. They’re just two ways that a purveyor of goods can sell their products. If you take advantage of only one way of selling, you plainly have a business process issue. You must sell both online and off to be a sustainable company. So, the mall – it’s not going anywhere. Physical retail is not going anywhere. However, you can bet your bottom dollar that this powershift will leave both looking very different than in the past. Shlomo Chopp has over 15 years’ experience in commercial real estate and has been involved in over $1 billion of transaction and advisory work over the course of his career. He is the founder and CEO of ShopFulfill and its consumefacing Anchor Shops that is set to open in July. You can learn more at www.anchorshops.com. Shlomo can be contacted for partnerships interest at schopp@ ShopFulfill.com.

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Forgotten Her es

Jews in the 32nd Infantry Division during World War II By Avi Heiligman

ecords of soldiers and their backgrounds are not easy to track down, thus making research on Jewish soldiers a challenging task. The 32nd Infantry Division has a fairly accessible database and provides backgrounds on some of their members. During World War II, several Jewish soldiers of the 32nd earned battlefield medals – the division was one of the first to see action and fought until the very last day of the war. As the United States entered World War I in 1917, National Guard units from Wisconsin and Michigan were pooled together to form the 32nd Division. In less than a year, the division trained and was sent to France to fight with Allied Expeditionary Force under General John Pershing. They were involved in a couple of major offensives including the Battle of the Marne and the Meuse-Argonne Offensive that ended the war. They had fought almost continuously for months with very few rest periods and had suffered over 13,000 casualties. For their heroism, the division was decorated by the U.S., France, and Belgium, as they were among the spearhead units to penetrate German lines. During the interwar years, the 32nd was activated again but was not combat ready and had no modern equipment. Soon it became apparent that the United States was likely to get involved in World War II. The division starting getting ready

for combat in late 1940 and in time would be called on to be the first into action, just like in 1917. After the Japanese surprise attack on December 7, 1941 at Pearl Harbor, the Red Arrow Division, as they were nicknamed, went from a National Guard division to the U.S. Army. Originally, they were to be sent to the European theater but Australia needed Allied divisions to protect against the Japanese who were moving rapidly down the Pacific. The 32nd Division, which was near Boston and about to travel to England, quickly reversed course and traveled across the U.S. and the Pacific, arriving in Australia in May 1942. Once there, they set up camp, trained, and received weapons as they had left San Francisco without being properly equipped for jungle warfare. General Douglas MacArthur needed to send American soldiers to help the Australians who were fighting the Japanese in New Guinea. The 32nd was considered the most combat ready even though they had less the year of training required to go into combat. New Guinea is one of the world’s largest islands and has the formidable Owen Stanley mountain range on the western part of the country. The Kokoda Trail runs through the 150 or so miles of the range. It twists and turns through 13,000-foot-tall mountains and jungle terrain. This topography was the setting for the most challenging

of the war. Not only would the Allies have to battle the Japanese but they also had to face the mud, rain, terrain, nearly vertical mountain climbs, insects, and disease. After bitter fighting, the Japanese were only 32 miles away from Port Moresby in the south but were being pushed back. The 32 nd had arrived starting on September 20 and began the trek up the arduous mountainous trails. A few weeks later, they had pushed the Japanese back to Buna, and a two-month battle took place, which ended in an Allied victory. The 32nd took part in the battle and suffered heavy casualties, with many becoming ill from tropical diseases.

Jewish Heroes Private Bennie Richell was with Company G, 126th Infantry Regiment and had been with the division since before the war. Born in Illinois, he had moved to Muskegon, Michigan, and had originally joined the Michigan National Guard. He stayed with them while they joined the regular army and sailed with the division from San Francisco in May 1942. After landing in New Guinea, he marched over the Owen Stanley Range and was cited for gallantry in action on November 30, 1942 near Buna. Along with another private, Richell ran through heavy mortar fire and sniper fire rescuing a wounded soldier. He was

later wounded and received the Silver Star for this action, as well the Bronze Star and Purple Heart. 2 nd Lieutenant Paul Schwartz was another Jewish soldier who was decorated for actions in the New Guinea Campaign. He had graduated from Syracuse University and had entered service as a private. After attending OCS (Officer Candidate School) he was assigned to Company F, 126th Infantry Regiment. On December 2, 1942, he was leading his unit near Buna Village when they came under attack. His citation for the Silver Star reads in part: “Disregarding his own safety, he led reconnaissance missions and conducted mopping up operations in an inspiring manner.” Along with a sergeant and corporal, Schwartz directed fire against machine guns, mortars, and snipers for over a week. On December 5, he was wounded in action and was killed in action two weeks later. The division badly needed reinforcements and retraining after the Buna Campaign and was sent back to Australia under a new commanding officer. In October 1943, the 32nd was sent again to New Guinea, this time better trained and with all the heavy weapons that were not with them on their first trip to the contested island. General MacArthur employed the “leap-fogging” method of bypassing Japanese strongholds and using amphibious landings to get at the Japanese rear on

The TheJewish JewishHome Home| |FEBRUARY OCTOBER 20, 29, 2020 2015

the northern coast of New Guinea. Starting in January 1944, the division took part in this campaign, and by the end of August, the town of Aitape was secured. Some elements of the division also landed at Morotai in September. The division now rested while they waited for their next assignment. Jewish Sergeant Aaron Meyers was from St. Louis and trained as a paratrooper before joining Company A, 128 th Infantry Regiment. On January 28, 1944, he was with a

along with the battalion commander, hastily gathered an ad hoc rescue group and aided Lt. Hess. They made it safely back to the American lines. Meyers was awarded a Silver Star for his actions on Buna and, while the records arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t clear, was probably decorated for his actions in the rescue operation. The final two battles for the Red Arrow Division took place in the Philippines. The Battle of Leyte for the division started in November 1944 when they were taken out of reserves and linked up with the

see combat during the war. The 32nd was in combat for 654 days, more than any other division, and had killed over 32,000 Japanese troops. Eleven soldiers had earned the Medal of Honor, and many others were awarded the Silver Star. The three Jewish soldiers depicted in this article received the Silver Star for gallantry in action

and were among the many Forgotten Heroes of the Pacific Theater of Operations.

Avi Heiligman is a weekly contributor to The Jewish Home. He welcomes your comments and suggestions for future columns and can be reached at aviheiligman@gmail.com.

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Along with a sergeant and corporal, Schwartz directed fire against machine guns, mortars, and snipers for over a week.

50-man patrol with the 1st Battalion, 128 th Infantry Regiment near the Mot River by the Saidor bridgehead in northern New Guinea. They were attacked by a larger Japanese contingent and split into three groups to try and make it back to American lines. Meyers led one group and, along with another group, made it back to safety. However, the third group led by Lt. George Hess ran into trouble while evacuating their wounded across the river. Meyers,

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Would You Take This Betts? By Allan Rolnick, CPA

portsball fans who already miss NFL action have just weeks to wait until baseball throws out the first pitch on March 26. While the Astros cheating scandal dominates baseball news, teams across the league are furiously shuffling rosters in hopes of coming up with the winning lineup. 100 years ago, the Boston Red Sox sold their best player, a pitcher named Babe Ruth who wanted to bat every day. Owner Harry Frazee had run out of patience for Ruth’s drinking and gambling, and Ruth’s hitting prowess made him too expensive to keep. The Sox spent the next 86 years regretting that deal. Now they’re doing it again, sending outfielder Mookie Betts and pitcher Mike Price to the Dodgers. And it’s all to keep their billionaire owner from paying the league’s Competitive Balance Tax to keep him. When you hear the phrase “luxury tax,” you might think of politicians stumping against income inequality. Baseball’s “luxury tax” fights inequality, too. The goal is to keep big-market teams like the New York Yankees or Los Angeles Dodgers from bidding up salaries to corner the market on talent. (Funny how no

one worries about the Mets doing it.) The process isn’t quite as hard as filling out your 1040 – but it’s not far off. Start with the average annual value of each player’s contract. If that amount tops a specified maximum ($208 million for 2020), the team pays 20% of the excess. If they top it a second year in a row, they pay 30%.

and a World Series trophy. It also meant $12 million in tax. For 2019, they were highest again at $243.7 million. That cost them $13 million. Mookie Betts was scheduled to make $27 million this year, his last before free agency. His teammate Price was scheduled to make $32 million. Now, Boston’s owner, John Hen-

Baseball may be “just a game,” but those are real dollars the Sox are paying in tax.

Three or more times and it’s 50%. Clubs that go over by more than $20 million pay a 12% surtax. If they go over by more than $40 million, they pay an extra 42.5% the first year and 45% for future years. Violators can also lose draft picks. Where does that leave Boston? In 2018, their payroll was the highest in the league at $239 million. It bought them 108 regular-season victories

ry, ranks 33rd on Forbes magazine’s list of the richest sports team owners. His net worth stands at $2.7 billion. But he must be feeling the same pinch Frazee did a century ago. Take his Florida mansion, for example. Back in 2018, he listed it for sale at $25 million. Now he’s marked it down 40% to $15 million, which would cover a dozen or so games’ worth of player salaries. (Property

taxes are $138,907/year, and it can’t be cheap hiring staff to clean the 19 bathrooms.) So, sending Betts and Price packing drops the roster down to $190 million and solves the luxury tax problem. Of course, solving that tax problem creates a new one. Betts was arguably the team’s best fielder in 50 years. Look up “franchise player” in the dictionary, and…well, you know the rest. Price was the team’s #3 pitcher; last year he went 7-5 with a 4.37 ERA. (Sadly, that’s what you get for $32 million today.) Baseball writers are crying foul, accusing Henry of putting profits over winning. Where will the Sox stand at the All-Star Break? Bang the Astros’ trash can if you know! Baseball may be “just a game,” but those are real dollars the Sox are paying in tax. Just goes to show, nobody likes paying more than they have to, and you shouldn’t either. That’s why you need a Golden Glover like us on your team! Allan J Rolnick is a CPA who has been in practice for over 30 years in Queens, NY. He welcomes your comments and can be reached at 718-896-8715 or at allanjrcpa@aol.com.

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Life C ach

Where’d That Come From? By Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., MFT, CLC

urprise! So, come on, tell us: were you surprised? “Absolutely! You bet! “You always have 25 cars parked outside of your house. And three, of course, coincidently, with my high school sticker on them. And just two weeks before my wedding. Not to mention the 18 pairs of eyes I caught blinking conspicuously behind the shades as I walked up to the front of the house. So, yes, I’m so surprised!” Or… “Wow – I had no inkling that you’d all be here. I mean, he just surprised me with a helicopter ride over a baseball stadium displaying a flashing scoreboard that asked me to marry him and then speedily told me that I wanted to change into something nicer to go to my parents’ house. Nope, no clue anything was up!” Or… “Of course, I am surprised. After all, turning 21, 30, 40, 50, or 60 (in other words, 21 again and again) is always celebrated in some new, chic, out-of-the -refurbished warehouse. Yes, yes, I really was convinced we

were coming here to pick up a sofa that we hadn’t ordered, have no room for, and in a tie and suit, no less!” So, what’s the obsession with surprising someone? Life has its moments! And we want to make them just that little bit better. There is so much we often have to get done or take part in that

so full of surprises. Isn’t it empowering when we can take control of what, when, and how some show up? Often, it’s fascinating how easy or hard it is to pull anything secretive off just based on the different natures of the people we are trying to affect. There are the types who never saw it coming: They just thought you bought a lot of food this week –

They just thought you bought a lot of food this week - 6 sushi platters, 4 fruit displays, 2 birthday cakes.

shouldn’t we agree that it’s nice when others make it happen for us? And then, too, there are times when the unpredictable is not something we would want. So, isn’t it awesome when it is? We ultimately realize that life is

6 sushi platters, 4 fruit displays, 2 birthday cakes – and also, gullibly believed that the catering truck just happened to run out of gas in your driveway. And then there’s the other extreme who declare, within seconds

of any minute sense of change, “OK, what’s going on here?!” They simply notice everything, even if you sneeze differently. Planning around these two types of people is a whole different experience. With one, you can almost ask them to email out the evites and they don’t skip a beat, while with the other you have to make sure they are out of town just to plan to plan anything. But either way, if you can pull it off, for those who love a surprise and even for recipients who say they’re not such a surprise person, it’s a pretty commendable gesture. The desire and effort to make someone else’s life just that much more exciting and special deserves some applause. So surprise yourself— give yourself credit for caring enough to make another feel important. And surprise them right back by appreciating and celebrating the effort.

Rivki Rosenwald is a certified relationship counselor, and career and life coach. She can be contacted at 917-7052004 or rivki@rosenwalds.com.

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