Five Towns Jewish Home - 1-17-19 by The Jewish Home

January 17, 2019

Distributed weekly in the Five Towns, Long Island, Queens & Brooklyn

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Dear Readers,

on all the good we have in our lives. We need reminders; we need a moment or two to refocus ourselves. This week, there was an event which probably lasted for less than an hour which gave me great pause and led me to tremendous gratitude. And I’m sure it did the same for you. When we put our children on the buses in the morning, we send them off with a kiss and a hug and a prayer in our hearts for a wonderful day. And we send them off to schools that we trust will take good care of them and send them back home safely. But this week, everything stopped on Tuesday in middle of the day, when stories of an active shooter in the Five Towns flooded our WhatsApp groups and our email boxes. As we waited to hear confirmation as to what was happening, all we could think of was that Hashem should keep our children safe. Baruch Hashem, there wasn’t active shooter in the vicinity and it was merely out of an abundance of caution that the police department asked schools to go into lockdown mode as they pursued a perpetrator whom they thought was armed. The incident quickly ended, and we breathed a collective sigh of relief. But during that hour that we didn’t know what exactly was happening in the area, we were given the time to stop, breathe, and focus. We davened to Hashem to keep our children safe. And we trusted in their schools to do so. And now it’s time for us to be grateful. We need to be appreciative of the law enforcement in our area that works to ensure the safety of our community. We need to be appreciative of our children’s schools that immediately worked to ensure our children’s security and kept us informed of their procedures. And, most importantly, we need to be grateful to Hashem for constantly watching us, guarding us, protecting us. He is always there; we just sometimes need a small reminder to send up our prayers of thanks. Wishing you a wonderful week, Shoshana

was listening to NPR on Thanksgiving Day while I waited in the carpool line to pick up my daughter from school. Thanksgiving is the national “day of gratitude,” and the host was focusing on a program that was instituted in certain schools that trained students to be grateful for different things in their lives. The tangible result of the study was that the students who were trained in gratitude were exponentially happier than their peers who were not focused on being grateful. How wonderful it would be to have a program like that in our schools, I thought. But then, I remembered that, as Orthodox Jews, our first thought in the morning is supposed to be about gratitude – thanking Hashem for giving us our lives and a brand-new day to enjoy. We thank Him when we daven, we thank Him when we eat, and we hopefully thank Him throughout the day. Gratitude, according to numerous studies, is not an isolated feeling. It produces numerous other positive emotional and even physical reactions. According to a 2012 study published in Personality and Individual Differences, grateful people experience fewer aches and pains and report feeling healthier than other people. They also have more friends, as evidenced by a 2014 study by Emotion. Additionally, gratitude reduces a multitude of toxic emotions, ranging from envy and resentment to frustration and regret, as studied by Robert A. Emmons, PhD. His research confirms that gratitude effectively increases happiness and reduces depression. Grateful people also have more self-esteem, are better equipped to overcome trauma, and sleep better as well. Gratitude, it seems, is the world’s proverbial açai berry, Dead Sea salt, magic pill...you name it. Even though, we, as Jews, are supposed to be mindful of gratitude at every moment, with all the busyness we find in all lives, there are many days when we can find ourselves without the time to focus

AM Light Rain

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PUBLISHER

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Shabbos Zemanim

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Friday, January 18 Parshas Beshalach Candle Lighting: 4:37 pm Shabbos Ends: 5:41 pm Rabbeinu Tam: 6:09 pm

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

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JANUARY 17, 2019 | The Jewish Home

Contents LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

COMMUNITY Readers’ Poll

Community Happenings

NEWS

Global

National

Odd-but-True Stories

ISRAEL Israel News

My Israel Home

PARSHA Rabbi Wein

Waiting Until the Time is Ripe by Rav Moshe Weinberger

Parsha in Four by Eytan Kobre

Powerful Paradigms by Shmuel Reichman

PEOPLE Private Herbert Grossman in the Philippines by Avi Heiligman

116

HEALTH & FITNESS You Can Rekindle Your Relationship by Dr. Deb Hirschhorn

How to Vacation Without Overweight Baggage by Aliza Beer, MS RD 98 Winter Break is Almost Here: Are You Ready? by Dr. Hylton I. Lightman

100

FOOD & LEISURE The Aussie Gourmet: Shivat Haminim Salad

104

LIFESTYLES New York! New York! Guide

Daycation—Home Sweet Home

Florida Restaurant Guide

Dating Dialogue, Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW

Tribe Tech Review

118

Your Money

124

Free at Last by Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., CLC, SDS

126

Dear Editor, Couldn’t agree more with Chanan Hertz, who wrote in last week about not giving a platform to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Chazal say that at the time of Moshiach the young people will be speaking up before those older than them and that chutzpah will be rampant. She is the epitome of what Chazal was referring to. We need not highlight her brazenness. Sari K. Dear Editor, I always enjoy Rivki Rosenwald’s articles each week. I find them insightful and entertaining, a bit of a diversion but with a great message. This week, her message did not disappoint. At the start of the “new year,” we have a chance to look at our old habits and come at them with a plan that was different than before. What better time than to realize that we should be focusing on certain things or that we should approach our exercise/diet/parenting/marriage/self-care/housework in a different way? There’s no time like the present! Shulamis Berman Dear Editor, To Aliza Beer: As a fellow RD, I just wanted to give you a big yasher koach for your article in The Jewish Home this week regarding non-dietitians and non-diets. This is a pet peeve of mine, even though I am not

in private practice. I find myself frequently explaining the importance of going to a qualified professional and offering much of the same information and explanations that you did. Thank you again for your important article and for your efforts on behalf of our profession. All the best, Rebecca Spirn Dear Editor, To Dr. Lightman: I just read your article titled, “Building Resiliency in Children and Adolescents.” Despite my efforts to highlight the most important parts, I found that you had written this article so completely and with a focus on every necessary detail that I nearly underlined the entire article! It amazes me how strongly your ideas and suggestions resonate and how much I gained from reading such a thought-out, thorough, and clear depiction. You are absolutely right; this world is ever-changing and our only hope in enduring its changes is to build up our own and our children’s resilience and character. Thank you for taking the time to compile and express your perspective on this topic. I know it will help so many others as it has already helped me. Wishing you a good day, A Grateful Reader Continued on page 8

HUMOR Centerfold 70 POLITICAL CROSSFIRE Notable Quotes

106

No, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. The Fact is, It’s Not Because You’re a Woman by 112 Megan McArdle

116 CLASSIFIEDS

What Sears and GE’s Decline Teaches us about Capitalism by Robert J. Samuelson 114 120

When on vacation, which do you prefer: basking in the sun or skiing in the snow?

78 22 %

Sun

Snow

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

JANUARY 17, 2019 | The Jewish Home

PESACH 2019 BOCA RATON, FLORIDA

Boca Raton Resort & Club A WALDORF ASTORIA RESORT

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PALM BEACH, FLORIDA

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FLORENCE, ITALY

Four Seasons Florence • Entire La Villa building Kosher for Pesach • Luxury 5-star Resort • Hotel set amidst a 350,000 sq.m. Botanical Gardens • Gourmet cuisine by Michelen rated Four Seasons chefs • Professional Day Camp • Scholar-in-Residence: Rabbi Yisrael Meir Lau, Chief Rabbi of Tel Aviv • Glatt Kosher Supervision by Rabbi G.M. Garelik

FIUGGI (ROME), ITALY

Grand Hotel Palazzo Della Fonte • Entire Hotel Kosher for Pesach • Haute Gourmet Italian Cuisine • Beautiful Spa, Indoor & Outdoor Pools • Free Daily Shuttle to Rome • Optional Amazing Day Trips • Professional Day Camp • Scholar-In-Residence: Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks • Glatt Kosher Supervision by Rabbi G.M. Garelik of Milan

RYE BROOK, NEW YORK

Hilton Westchester • Entire Hotel Kosher for Pesach • Only 30 Minutes from New York City • Hotel Beautifully Renovated • Spectacular Lineup of Scholars-in-Residence • Fantastic Entertainment & Daily Activities • Professional Day Camp • Exceptional Gourmet Cuisine by Prestige Caterers • ORB Glatt Kosher Supervision

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The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

JANUARY 17, 2019 | The Jewish Home

The Week In News

Taiwan’s Premier Resigns

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In response to his party’s defeat in last November’s election, Taiwan Premier William Lai resigned from office along with his entire Cabinet last week. Taiwan’s president, Tsai Ing-Wen, is expected to appoint a replacement, and ministerial appointments will follow. Lai promised to step down right after the election defeat but wanted to pass a 2019 budget before doing so. “Taking political responsibility is the supreme value of democracy that no one should ever go against. I am a person who preaches ‘long live democracy,’” he said at the time. This turn of events is a blow to the Democratic Progressive Party (DPP), which has lost grounds to the China-friendly opposition party, Kuomintang. Despite gains by the pro-Chinese party, most people in Taiwan support its independence from China. Taiwan, which is also known as the Republic of China, has been in a longwinded dispute with China, which is also known as the People’s Republic of China. Taiwan, which is an island off of China’s mainland, considers itself a separate and independent country. But China does not recognize its independent status. The conflict goes back well over a century. In 1895, following Japan’s victory in the First Sino-Japanese War, the Chinese government was forced to cede Taiwan to Japan. But after World War II, the Republic of China – one of the victors of the war – began ruling Taiwan with the consent of its allies, the U.S. and UK, after Japan surrendered and re-

linquished control of the territory it had taken from China. That act has led to decades of hostilities between China and the people of Taiwan. In the 1980s China put forth a formula, known as “one country, two systems,” under which Taiwan would be given significant autonomy if it accepted Chinese reunification. The people of Taiwan, however, summarily rejected that offer. Chinese President Xi Jinping, in a speech several weeks ago, indicated that he is set to take a tougher approach with Taiwan. He exhorted Taiwan to accept that it “must and will be” unified with the mainland under Beijing’s concept of “one country, two systems,” which is overwhelmingly unpopular in Taiwan.

Asylum in Canada for Saudi Teen

Rahaf Mohammed Alqunun, an 18-year-old girl from Saudi Arabia who captured international attention after she effectively used social media to highlight her plight in Saudi Arabia, arrived in Canada last Sunday, where she was greeted by Canada’s Foreign Affairs Minister Chrystia Freeland. She was promptly granted asylum there. Alqunun fled from her family while on vacation with them in Kuwait. She flew to Thailand in the hopes of traveling from there to Australia, where she would seek asylum. However, Thai officials tried to return Alqunun to Kuwait, where her family was, but she refused to board a flight and barricaded herself into her airport hotel room. She then began to live-tweet her calls for help, rapidly gaining thousands of followers. She explained that she had suffered physical abuse at the hands of family members and alleged they had tried to marry her off against her will, in a country where male relatives typically exert extraordinary control almost every aspect of a woman’s life, including marriage,

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

JANUARY 17, 2019 | The Jewish Home

work, study and travel. She said that the Saudi embassy was trying to force her to return home and tweeted, “I’m afraid, my family WILL kill me.” Facing public pressure, Thailand’s chief of immigration police Surachate Hakparn confirmed that Alqunun would be “allowed to stay” and that Thailand would take care of her. “She is now under the sovereignty of Thailand; no one and no embassy can force her to go anywhere,” he said. “Thailand is a land of smiles. We will not send anyone to die.” Canada quickly stepped in and offered Alqunun asylum. She was then promptly flown to Canada. Alqunun smiled and held flowers upon her arrival in Canada, but didn’t say anything to the media. The Saudi Arabian kingdom, which already has a strained relationship with Canada, did not make a public statement about the episode. However, a Saudi Arabian human rights organization, closely associated with the ruling kingdom, tweeted after Alqunun’s arrival in Canada that “some countries and international organizations” are politically motivated to “incite” female teenagers to leave their homes.

Japan Has Got the Power

According to the Henley Passport Index – which indexes each country’s passport strengths every year – Japan has the most powerful passport in the world, for the second year in a row. As the Henley Passport Index notes, “For some people, a passport is a portal to the world. For others, it is a barrier to the travel freedom they seek.” Japanese citizens enjoy visa-free/visa-on-arrival access to 190 destinations. Singapore and South Korea were tied for 2nd place on the list, with access to 189 destinations around the globe. Germany and France remain in 3rd place going into 2019, with a visa-free/visa-on-arrival score of 188.

The U.S. and the UK sit jointly in slot number six, with access to 185 destinations. This is a significant fall from the first-place position that these countries held in 2015. Israel is ranked at 23, with access to 161 destinations. This puts the power of an Israeli passport one behind the United Arab Emirates and way ahead of countries such as Russia (ranked 48), China (ranked 69), Jordan (ranked 88), Iran (ranked 96), and the Palestinian Authority (ranked 99). The least powerful passports, out of the 199 countries indexed, are found in: Yemen, ranked 101; Pakistan, ranked 102; Somalia, ranked 103; and Afghanistan and Iraq, tied for rank 104, with access to 30 destinations.

Former Ivorian Leader Acquitted The International Criminal Court acquitted former Ivorian leader Laurent Gbagbo of war crimes on Tuesday and ordered his immediate release to the joy of dancing supporters and frustration of victims of atrocities.

Can You Answer These Estate Planning Questions?

His freedom and possible return home may shake up the 2020 presidential poll in west Africa’s largest economy and the world’s biggest cocoa producer. President Alassane Ouattara’s camp has said he may reconsider a decision not to run if long-time rivals Gbagbo and former president Henri Konan Bedie were to stand.

In the latest high-profile defeat for ICC prosecutors at the Hague, presiding Judge Cuno Tarfusser said they failed to prove accusations against Gbagbo,73, and co-defendant Charles Blé Goudé, 46, a former political youth leader. Rights groups said the verdict denied justice to victims of Ivory Coast’s December 2010-April 2011 post-election conflict, when Gbagbo refused to accept defeat by rival Alassane Ouattara and about 3,000 people died in the insuing violence.

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The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

JANUARY 17, 2019 | The Jewish Home

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This week’s verdict was another defeat for prosecutors, who also lost cases against Jean-Pierre Bemba, the Congolese ex-vice president released last year after his war crimes conviction was overturned, and Kenyan President Uhuru Kenyatta, who had charges dropped in 2015. Prosecutors have only won three war crimes convictions over the past 15 years. This time, they failed to show Gbagbo’s speeches directly incited crime, Judge Tarfusser said. Gbagbo had faced four counts including murder, attacks against women, persecution and other inhumane acts. He rose to prominence as a Marxist firebrand lecturer who challenged the autocratic rule of Felix Houphouet-Boigny, Ivory Coast’s first post-independence president. That got him imprisoned for two years in 1971. He took asylum in France during the 1980s but came back and led protests that forced the old ruler to allow multi-party democracy in 1990 with an election that Gbagbo lost. Ten years later, Gbagbo supporters helped oust military coup leader General Robert Guei, and he took the presidency.

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After it was announced that opposition leader Felix Tshisekedi won the presidency in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, the Congo’s Catholic Church rejected the results,

saying they don’t match the data collected by its observers. Martin Faluyu, who was widely expected to win the election, also rejected the outcome and called for the winner to be “the person who really was our people’s choice.” Besides Tshisekedi, 55, and Fayulu, the other contender for the presidency was former Interior Minister Emmanuel Ramazani Shadary, the preferred successor of President Joseph Kabila. The results came after nearly two weeks of speculation and reports of irregularities in the December 30 vote. If deemed legitimate, it would be the country’s first democratic transition of power since it gained independence from Belgium in 1960. Either way, the stage now seems set for the exit of Kabila, who has ruled the resource-rich nation with an iron fist since 2001. As the Congo’s population of 80 million awaited the highly anticipated outcome of the vote, internet and text-messaging services in the Central African country were shut down on January 1. Kabila said the shutdown was done to preserve public order after “fictitious results” were circulated on social media. The election had been deemed a pivotal moment for the Congo, determining whether the beleaguered country could transition into a true democracy. But the vote came at a difficult time. The eastern Congo is battling the country’s worst outbreak of Ebola, and violent protests erupted after the Independent National Electoral Commission announced that voters in the Ebola-stricken cities of Beni and Butembo – opposition strongholds – would not cast their ballots until March for security reasons. Yumbi also had elections postponed until March due to violence. It is unclear now how those late votes might affect the result. Riot police were deployed this

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

JANUARY 17, 2019 | The Jewish Home

week in the capital in anticipation of mass violence. The U.S. State Department on Wednesday advised all Americans to leave the country. Under the Congo’s Constitution, a president can serve only two terms. Kabila’s second term expired in 2016, meaning the election was long overdue. Congo is blessed with huge deposits of precious minerals, such as diamonds, gold and tantalum. While in power, Kabila accumulated vast wealth. From 1999 to 2002, his regime transferred ownership of at least $5 billion in assets from the state-mining sector to private companies under its control, according to the United Nations. Congo’s political past has been full of twists and turns. The country’s first prime minister, Patrice Lumumba, was executed by firing squad in 1961, and military dictator Mobutu Sese Seko came to power in a coup. After three decades of iron-fist rule, Mobutu was overthrown in 1997 by rebel leader Laurent-Désiré Kabila, who was assassinated nearly four years later. Joseph Kabila inherited the presidency from his father. Tshisekedi comes from a storied

political background. His father, Étienne Tshisekedi, founded the Union for Democracy and Social Progress, the oldest and largest opposition party of the Congo. Felix Tshisekedi took over the party following his father’s death in 2017.

Nairobi Hotel Attack On Tuesday, terrorists attacked an upscale hotel complex in Kenya’s capital, sending people into a panic as explosions and heavy gunfire rocked the neighborhood. At least 14 people were killed in the carnage. At least 50 people are still unaccounted for. Al-Shabab – the Somalia-based extremist group that carried out the 2013 Westgate Mall attack in Nairobi that left 67 people dead – claimed responsibility for the assault and said its members were still fighting inside. The complex in Nairobi’s Westlands neighborhood includes a large hotel known as DusitD2, along with banks and offices. Gunfire continued several min-

utes after the first reports as ambulances, security forces and firefighters rushed to the scene. Black smoke rose from the complex. A bomb disposal unit arrived, and vehicles were cordoned off for fear they contained explosives. Police said they detonated a car that had explosives inside. An unexploded grenade was also seen in a hallway at the complex. Al-Shabab has vowed retribution against Kenya for sending troops to Somalia since 2011. The al-Qaedalinked group has killed hundreds of people in Kenya, which has been targeted more than any other of the six countries providing troops to an African Union force in Somalia. The attack immediately reminded many Kenyans of the Westgate Mall attack, when al-Shabab extremists burst into the luxury shopping center, hurling grenades and starting a days-long siege. The target of this week’s attack is less than 2 kilometers from Westgate Mall and is in what is considered one of the most secure areas of the city. It lies on a relatively quiet, tree-lined road near a main avenue. Its website says it is “cocooned away from the hustle and bustle in a se-

cure and peaceful haven.” The attack came three years to the day after al-Shabab extremists attacked a Kenyan military base in Somalia, killing scores of people.

Mecca Hit by Locust Swarm

There was a major buzz in Mecca last week. No, it wasn’t the yearly hajj. Rather, it was a swarm of locusts which descended on the place considered by Muslims to be their holiest site. Footage shared on social media showed the insects swarming

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

JANUARY 17, 2019 | The Jewish Home

around the walls, floors, and on people’s white robes, which are traditionally worn at the location. Saudi Arabia, where Mecca is located, is occasionally hit by voracious locust swarms. Mecca officials said the insects had been identified as black grasshoppers and that the insects were migratory. It took 138 people working in 22 teams with 111 pieces of equipment to eradicate the insects. Ironically, the swarm of locust scrowded into Mecca on the day that we read Parshas Bo, which recalls makkas arba (the Plague of Locusts). I guess they were lucky that there wasn’t a live demonstration of makkas bechoros.

Polish Mayor Killed in Front of Crowd

The mayor of the Polish city of Gdansk, Pawel Adamowicz, was assassinated in a vicious stabbing attack on Sunday which took place at a charity event attended by thousands of people. Adamowicz, 53, was the longtime mayor of Gdansk, since 1993. He was onstage after speaking at the event which raises money for medical equipment to treat sick children. TV footage showed Adamowicz telling the audience it had been a “wonderful day” and thanking them for coming, when an individual jumped onstage and stabbed him in the heart. The attacker turned to the crowd after the stabbing and said that he had been wrongly imprisoned under a previous national government that Adamowicz had belonged to. “I was jailed but innocent,” the suspect declared. “Civic Platform tortured me. That’s why Adamowicz just died.” The 27-year-old murderer, who was arrested, is a Gdansk resident with convictions for bank robbery and had spent time in prison.

21 Killed Near Mexican Border

On the day that President Donald Trump visited the U.S.-Mexico border to highlight the dangers of open borders, Mexican authorities discovered the charred remains of 21 people killed in a suspected gang battle. The bodies were discovered across the river from the very location that Mr. Trump was visiting. The town of Miguel Aleman, where the bodies were found, has become one of the most violent states in Mexico as rival drug cartels fight each other for its strategic position along the U.S. border. In recent years Tamaulipas has become one of the epicenters of the drug wars between rival cartels. That war left approximately 30,000 people dead in Mexico in 2017, according to government statistics. More than 200,000 people have been murdered in Mexico since the government deployed the army to fight the country’s powerful drug cartels in 2006. A security spokesperson for the area said that the battle was “a confrontation between two rival groups that are involved in a turf war over drug-trafficking routes.” Semi-automatic weapons and bulletproof vehicles were found at the site. Mexican President Andrés Manuel López Obrador, who was sworn into office on December 1, has promised to change the way the government executes its war on drugs. He is a vocal opponent of the militarized drug war and his campaign featured phrases such as “Abrazos no balazos” (hugs, not gunshots), “Becarios sí, sicarios no,” (scholars yes, killers no), and “No puedes apagar el fuego con el fuego” (you can’t fight fire with fire). It remains to be seen whether his fuzzier approach stops the death, mayhem and carnage of the drug cartels and gets them to go into the coconut water space instead.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

May Day: Brexit Deal on the Brink of Collapse

British Prime Minister Teresa May’s Brexit plan went down in flames on Tuesday. Voters in Britain in 2016 approved a referendum for their country to leave the European Union. March 29, 2019 was chosen as the date by which the separation would be complete. Due to the intertwined relationship between Britain and the EU – an economic and political partnership involving 28 European countries – it was expected that reaching an agreement would be quite a hurdle. Immediately after Brexit passed, then-Prime Minister David Cameron resigned and Teresa May assumed the leadership. Politically speaking, her singular task was to usher in Brexit and reach an agreement which would be advantageous to Britain. After months of negotiating a “withdrawal agreement” with the EU, the House of Commons voted on the agreement this Tuesday and rejected it by a vote of 432 to 202, making it the worst Parliamentary defeat for a sitting government in the democratic era. 118 members of May’s own Conservative party voted against the agreement. This puts Ms. May’s leadership in a precarious position. She announced immediately that she would make time for a vote of no-confidence in her government on Wednesday to “confirm” that members of the parliament still want her to continue in office. A similar no-confidence vote was held last month which Ms. May survived. At this point, the road forward for Brexit is unclear. Britain may leave the EU without a deal, which would likely result in severe economic and geopolitical hardships for it. Another possibility is that the official Brexit date of March 29th may be pushed off a few months to allow further negotiations on a withdrawal agreement, if

the EU agrees to that. It is also possible that there will be a new referendum on whether or not to proceed with Brexit. Considering the difficulties that Britain has had with navigating towards extraction from the EU, it is questionable whether voters will vote for Brexit again.

Malaysia Blocks Israelis from Competing

When the Paraplegic World Swimming Championship is held in Malaysia this summer, swimmers from Israel will not be allowed to attend. This event is a qualifying event for the 2020 Paralympics in Tokyo. Hundreds of swimmers from 70 countries are expected to compete. The International Paralympic Committee “expressed disappointment” about the decision. But Malysian Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad stayed firm and blustered, “If they want to withdraw Malaysia’s right to host the championship, they can do so,” Malaysia is one of a number of Muslim-majority countries that has no formal diplomatic ties with Israel, with entry to the country on an Israeli passport prohibited. Malaysia blocking Israelis from competing is hardly unique in the Muslim world. A Lebanese 7-yearold was recently lauded as a hero for refusing to play against an Israeli in a children’s chess championship. Perhaps another way to feel heroic would be for them to play against Israelis and beat them. We won’t start with Nobel Prizes or technological innovation, for their sake.

JANUARY 17, 2019 | The Jewish Home

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According to scientists at Tel Aviv University, the oenothera drummondii flower excretes sweeter nectar within three minutes of hearing the sound of a flying bee. They found that the flower’s petals vibrate when sound waves at the frequency produced by pollinators’ wings pass by, serving as “the plant’s auditory sensory organ.” In order to reach their findings, the scientists exposed oenothera drummondii plants to different sound playbacks and measured the concentration of sugar in their nectar. They compared plants’ responses to different sounds including pollinator recordings, synthetic sounds in pollinator frequencies and in much higher frequencies, and silence. To determine whether the playback sounds resulted in physical vibrations of the flower petals, they used laser vibrometry, which is a scientific way to make non-contact vibration measurements of a surface. The research papers notes, “Our results document for the first time that plants can rapidly respond to pollinator sounds in an ecologically relevant way.” The next time you are trying to have a private conversation, make sure that there are no plants around. They can hear you, you know.

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last week to spying for Iran and will serve 11 years in prison, according to the Israel’s justice ministry. Segev, a medical doctor who served in the Knesset from 1992 to 1996 and served a stint as Energy Minister, is a nefarious character who in 2004 was given a five-year prison sentence after being convicted of trying to smuggle 30,000 ecstasy pills from the Netherlands to Israel using a diplomatic passport with a falsified expiration date. Upon his early release from prison in 2007, he moved to Nigeria where he practiced medicine. While there, Segev was recruited by Iran and has been accused of leaking details about Israeli officials and security sites. According to the Shin Bet, Segev repeatedly met with Iranian intelligence officials over the past six years and even visited Iran twice while working for the Iranians. He was given a classified communications system to send coded messages and passed on “information related to the energy sector, security sites in Israel, and officials in political and security institutions.” Segev was detained in Equatorial Guinea in May and was extradited to Israel. Despite pleading guilty to charges of espionage, Segev reportedly told investigators that he had been trying to “fool the Iranians and come back to Israel a hero.”

Israeli Pop Star Turns Down Millions Not to Perform on Shabbos

Former MK Pleads Guilty to Spying for Iran

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Omer Adam is a big Israeli pop star and now he has made a big kiddush Hashem by refusing to appear at the Eurovision this year since it would involve working on Shabbos. After having won the Eurovision last year, Israel will host the event this year. Organizers approached Adam to perform at the Eurovision, but it would have required him to re-

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

JANUARY 17, 2019 | The Jewish Home

hearse on Shabbos. Adam summarily declined the offer. This story has made waves throughout Israel and the world because Adam is considered to be traditional, not religious. However, in recent years, he has become increasingly vocal about his unwillingness to work on Shabbos. In 2017, he was offered 1 million shekels to perform at an event on Shabbos, and he refused. Even when organizers offered him 2 million shekels, he replied, “No amount of money will ever cause me to violate Shabbat.”

Changing of the Guard

It was out with the old and in with the new on Tuesday, as outgoing IDF Chief of Staff Lt. Gen. Gadi Eisenkot

handed over the reins to former deputy Aviv Kochavi. Before the ceremony inducting Kochavi into the role of head of the IDF, Eisenkot urged the army to remain above the political rancor that is currently permeating Israeli politics. “I am leaving behind a competent military, ready and strong, which will only strengthen its power, wisdom and determination,” said Eisenkot, who is retiring after 40 years of service. “As an army of the people, the IDF above all must preserve its place in the center of civil public discourse,” he said. Eisenkot has pleaded in the past for the army not to be dragged into politics and vice versa, particularly amid the prosecution of a soldier who killed a wounded and disarmed Palestinian attacker in the West Bank. That case led to criticism of the army from some politicians on the right and death threats against Eisenkot. Eisenkot praised Kochavi’s leadership, saying his “determination and vast experience would strengthen the IDF’s readiness, preserve its values and continue to cultivate a sense of pride among the people.” The 54-year-old Kochavi was pro-

moted from major-general at the ceremony, becoming Israel’s 22nd military chief. His official swearing-in took place at the Kirya military headquarters in Tel Aviv later that day. In his remarks, Kochavi thanked Eiskenkot for his years of service to the IDF, saying that “time after time the IDF proved its strength in defending the borders of Israel under your leadership.” “I take on this role with reverence and see it as a privilege,” he said. “The IDF is the people’s army, which honors its soldiers who come from all parts of the nation, and are strengthened by the support of the people.” Kochavi previously served as commander of military intelligence, chief of northern command, and most recently as Eisenkot’s deputy chief of staff. He also commanded the Gaza division during Israel’s 2005 withdrawal from the Gaza Strip. The new IDF commander takes over at a time when Israel is openly engaged in military operations to prevent Iranian entrenchment in Syria, while also facing weekly violent confrontations in the south on the border with the Gaza Strip and

the constant threat of tensions with Lebanon’s Hezbollah terror group. At the ceremony, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu lauded the leadership of both Eisenkot and Kochavi, but dedicated much of his remarks to warning Iran that continued entrenchment in Syria will lead to more Israeli strikes.

Zaka to Search Danube for Holocaust Victims

A team of Israeli divers will search Hungary’s Danube River for the remains of Holocaust victims, Israeli Interior Minister Aryeh Deri announced on Monday.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

JANUARY 17, 2019 | The Jewish Home

Deri said that following a meeting he had with Sandor Pinter in Budapest, the Hungarian interior minister agreed to allow rescuers from the Zaka emergency service and victim identification organization to scour the river for bones of Jews who were shot and thrown into the waters of the Danube in Budapest during the Holocaust. Pinter also agreed to provide extra assistance in the project, the interior minister claimed. “If the martyrs’ bones are found, they will be brought to Israel for burial,” Deri said in a video statement in front of the “Shoes on the Danube Bank” Holocaust memorial in Budapest. Thousands of Jews were murdered on the banks of the Danube by members of the Hungarian Nazi-allied Arrow Cross Party in 1944. The victims were among the roughly 600,000 Hungarian Jews wiped out during the Holocaust. The “Shoes on the Danube Bank” memorial consists of 60 pairs of period shoes made out of iron to commemorate the Jews who were brought to the spot by members of the Arrow Cross. They were ordered to remove their shoes and then were

shot so that their bodies fell into the river. In 2011, human remains were discovered during construction work on the Margaret Bridge overlooking the Danube. Forensic examinations of the fragments indicated they belonged to more than 20 different people, including women and children, who had probably died during the war. But as investigations into the victims’ identities and cause of death proved inconclusive, authorities soon closed the case and removed the bones to storage where they remained until an anthropology student ran DNA tests on them in August 2015. The results revealed that at least nine of 15 samples from the bones were almost certainly Ashkenazi Jews from Europe, while the other six could also be of that ethnicity. With mounting evidence that the bones were probably those of Jewish victims of the Arrow Cross, Jewish religious leaders called for their immediate interment in a Jewish cemetery. Authorities initially preferred a non-denominational burial, given the possibility – albeit smaller – that the bones may have belonged to non-Jews killed when Nazi Ger-

man explosives destroyed part of Margaret Bridge in November 1944. Eventually, the sides agreed that the remains would be buried at a Jewish cemetery in Budapest. The affair added fuel to a growing debate over the degree of Hungary’s collaboration with the Nazis. Jewish groups have sometimes accused Prime Minister Viktor Orban’s rightwing government, in power since 2010, of downplaying Hungary’s role in the Holocaust during which more than 600,000 Hungarian Jews perished. Approximately half a million people or every third victim in Auschwitz was a Hungarian Jew.

South Koreans Learn the Talmud

Most South Koreans have never met a Jew. But almost all South Koreans believe that Jews are really smart. “Jews account for just 0.2 percent of the world’s population, but 23 percent of Nobel Prize winners have been Jewish,” Seoul-based student Choi Jae-young related. “And despite all the time and money we spend on education, only one Korean has ever won a Nobel award. That irks many Koreans. It makes us want to learn Jews’ secrets.” Part of learning Jewish “secrets” can be found, South Koreans believe, in learning about the Jewish approach to education. “Koreans don’t have to emulate Jewish belief systems,” educational researcher Seol Dong-ju notes, “but we do need to copy the way Jews teach their children.” The result is dozens of private chavrusa-themed academies, with busy branches in major cities throughout the country, catering to everyone from toddlers to adults. Some make use of Korean-language Talmudic texts, while others follow entirely secular curricula. Kim Jung-wan, who directs one such academy – the Havruta Culture Association – explains that South

Korea’s Jewish education quest is over 40 years old. It began in the mid-1970s, when Korean translations of Talmud-inspired stories by Rabbi Marvin Tokayer, an American military chaplain stationed in Japan, first arrived in Seoul bookstores. Rabbi Tokayer’s stories were a runaway success. The Talmud effectively went viral in South Korea: in the decades since, hundreds of Korean versions of the Talmud have appeared, mostly deriving from English-language translations and commentaries. These range from picture story books for children to thicker, more ponderous volumes for adults. It’s not just the Talmud that South Koreans are reading. There’s also a Korean-language translation of the Haggadah. When South Koreans visited yeshivos in search of learning more about Jewish education, they found chavrusa-styled lessons. For many South Korean thinkers, this was the “secret” they had been after since the 1970s: a learning methodology that added dynamism to book-based learning and removed the teacher as the focal point of lessons. Kim Jung-wan’s own long chavrusa journey began in 2001, when an academic acquaintance suggested he use the Talmud as a teaching tool for his son, then just a year old. “I kept exploring the subject. I was fascinated,” he said. Kim Jung-wan went on to study Hebrew at the Israel Culture Center, an affiliate of the Embassy of Israel in Seoul. “Eventually I began attempting to translate parts of the original Talmudic text into Korean using the Schottenstein English-language translation as a reference,” he said. “This month, I am heading to a yeshiva in Israel, where I’ll study for a month. It wasn’t easy for a nonJew like me to gain admission, but I managed somehow.” Yoojung Kindergarten, a preschool in northern Seoul, recently added chavrusa modules to its curriculum. Children listen to stories from the Talmud and then embark on chavrusa-style peer discussions. “We wanted to find a fun, lively classroom activity that would promote creativity, but also help with moral education,” principal Jung Geum-sook said. “Chavrusa seems to tick all of these boxes.”

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

JANUARY 17, 2019 | The Jewish Home

RBG Misses SCOTUS Arguments

For the first time in her twenty-five years on the Supreme Court, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg was absent when her colleagues took the bench for oral arguments. The 85-year-old liberal stalwart missed two days last week and the entire week this week while recovering from a surgery she underwent last month to remove two cancerous nodules from her lung. The cancer was discovered after Justice Ginsburg fell last November and broke three ribs. Doctors speculate that her fall may have in fact saved her life, as lung cancer is often detected after it has already spread. The Supreme Court released a statement that Justice Ginsburg’s “recovery from surgery is on track” and that “post-surgery evaluation indicates no evidence of remaining disease, and no further treatment is required.” Justice Ginsburg, whose story was recently memorialized in the movie “RBG,” has in recent years become an iconic figure to liberals, partially because of her unabashed liberal rulings and undoubtably because she is the oldest of the four liberal judges on the court. Her departure would be devastating for the left as it would give President Trump a third Supreme Court pick, further solidifying the conservative majority on the nine-judge Court. The fear of losing Justice Ginsburg has gripped liberals to the extent that noted liberal journalist Roger Simon posted on Twitter, “If it were possible, would you subtract one day off your life and add it to Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s life for one extra day of good health?” Many of the New York Times bestselling author and former chief political

columnist at Politico’s readers responded that they gladly would. In response to the query, some conservatives suggested that perhaps these individuals should consider how to “give a day of their life” to their elderly family members or perhaps to a child with cancer instead.

Bigger Waist, Smaller Brain

According to a recent study in the Journal of Neurology, excessive fat not only expands your girth but may actually shrink a person’s brain as well. The study of almost ten-thousand middle-aged individuals in Britain found that those with higher body mass index (BMI) – an indicator of whether a person is underweight, healthy weight, has excess weight, or is obese – had lower gray matter volume. Gray matter is said to be associated with memory, emotions, speech, decision-making, self-control and other important functions of the brain. The study’s lead researcher noted, “The take-home message is that being overweight and obese has a multitude of effects on health, so it’s unsurprising that obesity is also going to have an effect on our brain health.” A similar study conducted in Japan in 2017 noted similar findings, except that that study found a correlation between waist circumference and gray matter volume. In other words, what you put into your mouth affects what goes on between your ears.

LA Teachers Strike On Monday, hundreds of thousands of children were left without teachers when 32,000 Los Angeles educators walked off their jobs in the country’s second-biggest school district. 600,000 children were affected

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

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by the strike. Weeks of heated negotiations between the United Teachers Los Angeles union and the Los Angeles Unified School District had gone nowhere and resulted in the city’s first teachers’ strike in 30 years.

Both the union and the school district say they want smaller class sizes, bigger teacher salaries, and more counselors and nurses in the district’s roughly 1,000 schools. The big debate revolves around how to fund them. Children are expected to head to the classrooms during the strike. Classes will be continuing in all schools, as the district hired about 400 substitute teachers and reassigned more than 2,000 administrators to help educate the 600,000 students. As for how that works out logistically, “It’s case by case, school by

school,” said Shannon Haber, chief communications officer for LAUSD. While both UTLA and LAUSD have made some concessions, both the union and the school district accuse the other of giving misleading facts and figures. In LAUSD’s latest offer to the union on Friday, the school district said it “would add nearly 1,200 more educators – teachers, counselors, nurses and librarians – in schools, reducing class size in thousands of classrooms.” Class sizes in grades four to six would be limited to 35 students, and class sizes in all middle and high school math and English classes would be limited to 39 students, the school district said. The offer would also “ensure no increase in any class size, increase nurses, counselors and librarians at all schools, along with a 6% salary increase and back pay for the 2017-2018 school year,” LAUSD said. But union president Alex Caputo-Pearl said the offer was good for only one year and that the school district’s proposal was “woefully inadequate.” The union wants LAUSD to pull from its $1.86 billion in reserves to increase school staffing and boost

teachers’ salaries by 6.5%. California Gov. Gavin Newsom has urged the two sides to go back to the negotiating table. Newsom said he has submitted a budget “that would make the largest ever investment in K through 12 education, help pay down billions in school district pension debt, and provide substantial new funding for special education and early education.”

Too Few Babies Being Born

According to a new study by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, not enough people are being born in the United States for the current population to replace

itself. In other words, our numbers are dwindling. For the entire U.S. in 2017, there were 1,765.5 births for every thousand women. This is 16% below the 2,100 per every thousand women needed for the population to stay the same. The research also broke down fertility rates among different demographics. The white birthrate in 2017 was 1,665.5 for every thousand women. Hispanics had the highest birthrate in the United States with 2,006.5 babies being born for every thousand women. Population growth is often considered an important factor for economic growth. Others, however – primarily global warming alarmists – have for a long time been advocating population control as a way of fighting global warming. In 2017, South Dakota had the highest birthrate in the U.S., with 2,227.5 births per thousand women. New York had a measly 1,654.5 per 1,000 women – lower than the national average. Washington, D.C., took the cake when it came to low birthrates. The nation’s capital boasted a limp 1,421.0 births per thousand women in 2017.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

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COUNCIL MEMBER DONOVAN RICHARDS

for good in the Middle East. We need to acknowledge that truth, because if we don’t, we make bad choices – now and in the future.”

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Pompeo Takes a Hammer to Obama in Cairo U.S. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo returned last Thursday to the very spot in Cairo where then-President Obama gave his famous speech to the Muslim world in 2009 and where Obama essentially apologized for the all of the woes bestowed upon them by the U.S. This speech by

Pompeo, though, made no apologies and was seen as a pointed rebuke of Obama’s speech. “The age of self-inflicted American shame is over,” declared Pompeo during his speech at the American University in Cairo. The contrast was stark. In his 2009 speech, President Obama declared, “I am a Christian, but my father came from a Kenyan family that includes generations of Muslims. As a boy, I spent several years in Indonesia and heard the call of the azaan at the break of dawn and

the fall of dusk.... I consider it part of my responsibility as President of the United States to fight against negative stereotypes of Islam wherever they appear.” Pompeo began his speech by stating that he is an “evangelical Christian” and that “in my office, I keep a Bible open on my desk to remind me of G-d and His word and the truth.” Contrasting with the Obama administration’s diplomatic posture, Pompeo declared, “I’ll be very blunt and direct today: America is a force

The secretary of state rebuked Obama’s speech but did not use his name. “Remember: It was here, here in this city, that another American stood before you,” Pompeo noted, referencing President Obama. “He told you that ‘radical Islamist terrorism does not stem from an ideology.’ He told you that ‘9/11 led my country to abandon its ideals, particularly in the Middle East.’ He told you that ‘the United States and the Muslim world needed, quote, “a new beginning,”’ end of quote. The results of these misjudgments have been dire.” Pompeo continued, “In falsely seeing ourselves as a force for what ails the Middle East, we were timid in asserting ourselves when the times – and our partners – demanded it. We grossly underestimated the tenacity and viciousness of radical Islamism, a debauched strain of the faith that seeks to upend every other form of worship or governance. ISIS drove to the outskirts of Baghdad as America hesitated. They…pillaged and murdered tens of thousands of innocents. They birthed a caliphate across Syria and Iraq and launched terror attacks that killed all across continents.” Pompeo’s speech laid out three objectives of the Trump administration regarding the Middle East. First, he noted that the chief focus of U.S. policy in the Middle East is thwarting Iran’s dangerous and tyrannical ambitions. Secondly, he outlined the Trump administration’s rigorous efforts at diplomacy across the Middle East. Lastly, he specifically called out “radical Islamism” and implicitly condemned Obama for not doing so. Pompeo declared that in “less than two years, the United States under President Trump has reasserted its traditional role as a force for good in this region, because we’ve learned from our mistakes,” he asserted. “We have rediscovered our voice. We have rebuilt our relationships. We have rejected false overtures from enemies. And look at what we have accomplished together.”

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

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NYT: FBI Investigated If Trump was a Russian Agent If the term bombshell can still be used when discussing President Trump and the Russia investigation, The New York Times attempted to detonate another explosive last Fri-

day when it released another story titled, “F.B.I. Opened Inquiry Into Whether Trump Was Secretly Working on Behalf of Russia.” But this bombshell seems to have landed in the same fashion as similar explosive stories – without any blast. To Trump opponents, the story reinforced their belief that President Trump colluded with Russia and is in the palm of Russian President Vladimir Putin; to Trump supporters it highlighted just how far the “deep state” is willing to

go to destroy the duly elected president of the United States. The article, which is based on anonymous sources, discloses that after President Trump fired FBI Director James Comey in May of 2017, “law enforcement officials became so concerned by the president’s behavior that they began investigating whether he had been working on behalf of Russia against American interests.” The New York Times noted that

Although the ninth paragraph of the article noted that “no evidence has emerged publicly that Mr. Trump was secretly in contact with or took direction from Russian government officials,” nowhere in the article does it mention that the acting director of the FBI at that time – who was behind the investigation – was Andrew McCabe, who was later fired for lying to investigators about his efforts to undermine President Trump. When asked about The New York Times piece, President Trump responded, “Not only did I never work for Russia, I think it’s a disgrace that you even asked that question because it’s a whole big fat hoax. It’s just a hoax.” He added that the FBI officials who launched the counterintelligence investigation were “known scoundrels” and “dirty cops.” Case closed. Until the next “bombshell” gets dropped.

The Elie Wiesel Genocide and Atrocities Prevention Act

On Monday, President Donald Trump signed into law bipartisan legislation named for the late Holocaust survivor and Nobel Laureate Elie Wiesel, the White House announced in

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

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a statement. The Elie Wiesel Genocide and Atrocities Prevention Act aims to improve U.S. response to emerging or potential genocides and passed final votes last month in the Senate and the House of Representatives. The act ensures that the official policy of the United States deems the prevention of genocide and other crimes a matter of national security interest. It also establishes an interagency Mass Atrocities Task Force and encourages the director of national intelligence to include information on atrocities in the annual crime report to Congress. Additionally, it enables training for U.S. Foreign Service officers on detecting early signs of atrocities. The legislation was introduced to Congress in June 2017 by New York Democrat Joe Crowley and Missouri Republican Ann Wagner, and in the Senate by Maryland Democrat Ben Cardin and Indiana Republican Todd Young, both members of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee. The final bill passed in the House after previously passing in the chamber on July 17 in a vote of 406-5 with 117 cosponsors. The Senate approved the legislation, with 34 cosponsors. “America’s strength around the world is rooted in our values. It is in our national interest to ensure that the United States utilizes the full arsenal of diplomatic, economic, and legal tools to take meaningful action before atrocities occur,” Cardin said in a statement issued by his office. “Tragically, these atrocities are hap-

pening today; we simply cannot wait to act.” Elie Wiesel won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1986 and died in 2016. He and his family were among an estimated 14,000 Jews who were deported to the Auschwitz death camp from a town in northwest Romania in May 1944. His mother and younger sister died there. Wiesel became the voice of the Holocaust for many, as he authored 57 books, mostly in French and English, including Night, a book based on his experiences in Auschwitz and Buchenwald concentration camps.

Judge Removes Census Question

This week, a federal judge rejected the Trump administration’s plan to add a citizenship question to the 2020 census questionnaire. U.S. District Judge Jesse Furman in Manhattan said the 18 U.S. states, 15 cities and various civil rights groups that challenged Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross’ addition of the question proved it was more likely than not that they would be

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

JANUARY 17, 2019 | The Jewish Home

harmed if it were added. Furman also said Ross’s decision to add the question was “arbitrary and capricious” and violated federal law, despite a lack of proof that the commerce secretary was motivated by discriminatory intent. Ross had proposed reinstating the citizenship question last March 26, ostensibly at the request of the U.S. Department of Justice to better police potential voter discrimination. Critics, however, said the question was intended to frighten immigrants into not being counted and would disproportionately harm Democratic-leaning communities by costing them political representation and billions of dollars of federal aid. The administration has said using more precise citizenship data is needed to enforce federal voting rights laws. Furman ruled after a nonjury trial that ended in November. The United States census takes place every ten years and is mandated by the Constitution of the United States. The first census took place in 1790 under Secretary of State Thomas Jefferson.

Rep. King Shunned for Comments

he said of King’s comments. “It is definitely not American. All people are created equal in America, and we want to take a very strong stance about that.” King, who was elected to a ninth term representing Iowa in November, served on the House Judiciary, Agriculture and Small Business committees in the last Congress. The decision to effectively strip him of those posts came as House Democrats pondered rebukes of their own and as leading Republicans across the party spoke out against him. On Monday, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) said there is “no place in the Republican Party, the Congress or the country for an ideology of racial supremacy of any kind,” while Sen. Mitt Romney (R-Utah), a former presidential nominee, called on King to resign. The recent controversy was touched off when King asked in a New York Times interview published last week, “White nationalist, white supremacist, Western civilization — how did that language become offensive?” It followed a long string of remarks disparaging of immigrants and minorities, as well as a seeming embrace of far-right foreign politicians and parties that have been openly hostile to those same groups. King, in a statement, said, “Leader McCarthy’s decision to remove me from committees is a political decision that ignores the truth…. Ultimately, I told him, ‘You have to do what you have to do, and I will do what I have to do.’”

Way Too Much Screen Time Veteran lawmaker Steve King was abruptly kept off of House committees this week in a firm rebuke to recent comments King had made. King sparked outrage last week after he openly questioned whether the term “white supremacist” was offensive. House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.) said the decision by the Republican Steering Committee, which seats lawmakers on House committees, followed his own recommendation and was meant to send a message about the GOP at large. “That is not the party of Lincoln,”

Quick! How much time do you spend in front of the computer, or on your smartphone, or watching some other screen? Be honest with yourself, and you may realize it’s just way too much time. According to a new poll that surveyed 2,000 adults in the U.S.,

Americans spend nearly half of their waking hours looking at screens. More specifically, the survey found that 42% of the time Americans are awake, their eyes are fixated on a television, smartphone, computer, tablet, or other device. Supposing the average American slept eight hours a night (not even close to the case for most adults), the researchers calculated that people spend about six hours and 43 minutes a day staring at a screen. Over a typical lifespan, that’s 7,956 days. And the problem is only getting worse. Of those surveyed, 79% said their screen time has increased over the past five years, with four in ten admitting it’s grown “a lot.” Three in four participants believe they simply spend too much time in front of screens. In fact, 53% take breaks from the computer – by checking their phone. Another 27% admits to watching TV and looking at their phone at the same time. “We live in a digitally-connected world and these survey results show how digital devices have completely transformed our lives, no matter our age,” said Dr. Michele Andrews, an optometrist with contact lens manufacturer CooperVision, the company that commissioned the survey. “Digital eye fatigue is faced by millions of Americans every day because of this non-stop screen time.” Researchers found that the respondents were generally able to last about four hours before dealing with eye discomfort and requiring a break, but the average person still takes three breaks a day for relief. Of course, many people don’t have a choice, with three-quarters of respondents required to use a computer at the office. Age plays a substantial role in the amount of time people spend on digital devices, with millennials being more screen-oriented than other generations. A whopping 92% of the 18 to 35 age group checks their phone immediately after waking up, compared to just 51% of those over 55. About three in five millennials also admit feeling “anxious and irritated” if they can’t check their phone, while only one in five baby boomers feel the same way. Meanwhile, as a whole, 73% say that all the screen time they log makes them feel lethargic, and 64% feel happier after getting a significant break from a screen. The survey was conducted by market research firm OnePoll.

A Pretty Penny for a Penny

Decades ago, Don Lutes Jr. became a very lucky man – although he didn’t know it at the time. In 1947 he picked up a penny from a bundle of change he found in his high school cafeteria and put it aside to study it later. He then put in a safe behind a wall in his home in Massachusetts for safekeeping, knowing that there was something special about this copper coin. Turns out, not all pennies are created equal. This penny was minted in 1943. That year, all U.S. pennies were supposed to be made of zinc-coated steel to conserve the copper needed for wartime essentials like shell casings and telephone wire, according to Heritage Auctions, a Dallas-based auction house. But a small number of copper pennies were created by mistake. Only a few of them exist today, making them special to coin collectors. Lutes knew his coin was rare and held onto it. But as his health declined last year, Lutes decided to sell the coin because “he wanted to make sure it went to a good home,” said Peter Karpenski, a friend and fellow coin collector. Lutes’ prized possession fetched a pretty penny – $204,000 – after a live auction last Thursday at the Florida United Numismatics convention in Orlando, Florida. This is the first time a penny of this type has been sold. According to Heritage Auctions, the 1943 copper penny “is the most famous error coin.” It’s a great example of how mistakes happen – even at the Mint. Around the end of 1942, a small number of bronze planchets – a plain metal disk that is stamped as a coin – got caught in the trap doors of the mobile tote bins used to feed the blanks into the Mint’s coin presses. Those planchets went unnoticed when the bins were refilled with

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

zinc-coated steel planchets in 1943. “They eventually became dislodged and were fed into the coin press, along with the wartime steel blanks. The few resulting copper cents were lost in the flood of millions of steel cents struck in 1943 and escaped detection by the Mint’s quality control measures,” according to Heritage Auctions. There are only about ten to fifteen 1943 copper pennies that exist today. Lutes eventually became a coin collector, amassing more than 50,000 coins by the 1970s when he retired from the family manufacturing business. The U.S. Army veteran died in September at the age of 87. A volunteer for the library in Pittsfield, Lutes had wanted the proceeds of the coin’s sale to go the library. Can I say that that sounds a bit penny wise, pound foolish?

Woman Can’t Hear Men’s Voices

A woman in China was recently diagnosed with a rare hearing loss condition called reverse-slope hearing loss (RSHL), which prevents her from hearing men’s voices due to their low-frequency sounds. The young woman was rushed to the hospital where doctors confirmed that this was not some sort of prank. A hospital doctor told reporters, “She was able to hear me when I spoke to her, but when a young male patient walked in, she couldn’t hear him at all.” Doctors reassured the women, who is in her twenties, that the problem – or is it? – will resolve itself with rest. Although this is a highly uncommon predicament, its reverse is certainly common. Many men report being unable to hear their wives, especially when asked to change lightbulbs, take out the garbage, and perform similar tasks. “What? That’s not funny? Huh? What did you say? Wait, let me just take a nap and get some rest and

then we will try this again. What? Did you say ‘cool?’ Great, that’s what I thought… I’m good at reading lips.”

Free Trip – to Buffalo Looking for a vacation spot that’s away from it all? Have no interest in

seeing your whole shul at the pool this midwinter vacation? Head to Buffalo. Yes, Buffalo, New York. And we’ll make the idea even sweeter for you. Last week, a company located in Buffalo launched a sweepstakes in which the winner receives an all-expense paid trip for two from anywhere in the United States to Buffalo. Included in the trip is a two-night hotel stay at Hotel Henry, an art-focused, architectural wonder of a hotel housed in a former mental facility, hundreds of

dollars in restaurant gift certificates, $150 of “walkin’ around money” just because, and much, much more. So what are you waiting for? Well, perhaps Buffalo doesn’t entice you. Here are some facts to get you going. Buffalo is New York State’s second-largest city. And it snows there – a lot. Last year, the city got dumped with 94 inches of the white stuff; in 2013/2014, it saw 135 inches of snow, or over 11 feet. So pack your parkas

JANUARY 17, 2019 | The Jewish Home

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

and maybe even your skis if you plan to head up north. Buffalo Niagara Communications Manager Brian Hayden believes that the sweepstakes is “shedding light on what locals have always known: that Buffalo is the warmest cold city for winter travel and a great place to visit during this time of year.”

flooded the highway on Monday. No one was injured in the ooey-gooey stickiness, but it did take four hours to clean up the mess. “There is a river of chocolate blocking/flowing in the westbound lanes of I-40 at milepost 211, east of Flagstaff,” the Arizona Department of Public Safety tweeted. “This will be a sweet cleanup!” Perhaps some marshmallows and graham crackers would have come in handy to clean it up.

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A River of Chocolate

After a tanker rolled over on the interstate highway in Flagstaff, Arizona, the road turned into a sweet river of chocolatey goodness. The tanker was hauling 40,000 pounds of liquid chocolate, which

February 17-18, 2019 When Troy Good realized that his daughter’s cats weren’t allowed in the family’s new apartment, he felt frustrated. But now, these cats are the coolest things in Silicon Valley. Good found them their own home in San Jose. For a mere $1,500 a month, the cats are treated to the purr-fect place to live. They moved into the studio apartment over the summer. The landlord, David Callisch, feeds and plays with the cats every day. He and Good send Good’s daughter photos of the cats so she can see how they’re enjoying their pad. “They definitely have the nicest cat apartment in Silicon Valley,” Good, a 43-year-old furniture designer, acknowledged. But the lap of luxury won’t be there forever. Good’s daughter is set to moved to Azusa Pacific University in the next few months and will be taking the cats with her. Looks like the cat got the cream with this one.

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Community MAY Rabbeim Visit Talmidim in Eretz Yisroel

abbeim from Mesivta Ateres Yaakov made their annual visit to Eretz Yisroel last week to “check up on their investments” in their respective post-high school yeshivos. 12th grade rabbeim and Israel advisors Rabbi Yehuda Orlansky and Rabbi Yonasan Sprung embarked on a whirlwind of activity that filled their schedule while in Israel. Straight from the airport they begin visiting the many yeshivos hosting MAY alumni. Their talmidim were eagerly waiting for them and showered them with ear-to-ear smiles and warm embraces. Each talmid sought to “impress” their rabbeim with their achievements and accomplishments, their notebooks and libraries. It was truly a fitting welcome to Eretz Yisroel. If that wasn’t enough, talmidim also had a surprise visit from Rabbi Meir Braunstein, Rosh Yeshiva of the Yeshiva Gedolah, who also teaches

halacha to the 12th grade. The week-long trip was a non-stop excursion from yeshiva to yeshiva; over 20 different yeshivos in all, over 100 talmidim, from the early hours of the morning – davening Shacharis together with various yeshivos – until way past midnight. The MAY rabbeim met privately with each talmid, their roshei yeshiva, mashgichim and current rabbeim, to ensure that each talmid’s needs were being met and that their particular kochos were being properly cultivated. The trip also gave the rabbeim an opportunity to “scout” each institution for MAY’s current and future talmidim. This is necessary since new yeshivos continue to emerge annually and even established yeshivos revamp their programs. The culmination of the trip was the Shabbos spent together with almost 100 talmidim at Yeshivas Ohr Yerushalayim, the annual host

for this event. Mesivta Ateres Yaakov alumni gathered for a Shabbos of Chizuk in Moshav Beit Meir and spent, what many talmidim referred to as, “the best Shabbos they’ve ever had” together with their rabbeim. The entire weekend was saturated with inspiration. The enthusiastic tefillos, the leibedik meals, and the heartwarming divrei Torah and learning in between was the perfect mix of ruchnius and gashmius. Divrei chizuk by the tefillos, talmidim making siyumim, older bochurim delivering prepared chaburos, a Shabbos afternoon shiur from a rebbe, or just casual walks and warm reminiscing – everyone was inspired and also inspiring their peers. Reflecting on the Shabbos, Rabbi Orlansky commented, “Our talmidim are each unique and each is progressing at his own pace along his own path towards his own goals. We were really inspired that the deep-rooted

camaraderie from Mesivta has continued, b”H, and that they continue to be proud of each other’s accomplishments. Not only did each of the bochurim respectfully listen to their fellow talmid’s words of chizuk and divrei Torah, they often made reference to each other’s remarks and made a point of both raising and praising each other when they could. Rabbi Sprung and I are so proud of who they are and who they continue to become.” The Shabbos left all in a reflective state of mind, more focused on their goals and confident of their ability to overcome all forms of adversity. In addition to mentally and emotionally equipping them for the future, it also reminded them of the solid foundation that unites them and which prepared them for who they are now – the formative years of nurturing and growth at Mesivta Ateres Yaakov.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

JANUARY 17, 2019 | The Jewish Home

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Bais Yaakov Ateres Miriam honors the memory of Rebbetzin Basya Bender, a”h

ast Motzei Shabbos, at the 7 th Annual Bais Yaakov Ateres Miriam Dinner, a very special presentation was made. The Menahel, Rabbi Nosson Neuman, presented Horav Yaakov Bender, shlita, with a plaque dedicated to the memory of his mother Rebbetzin Basya Bender, a”h. In his remarks, Rabbi Neuman said, “When Rebbetzin Vichna Kaplan replanted the Bais Yaakov movement in America, at her side stood one person. Rebbetzin Basya Bender a”h, the mother of HaRav Yaakov Bender, shlita. Bechasdei Hashem, we are the owners of our building because of one

person, HaRav Yaakov Bender. Without going into details, BYAM owes tremendous hakoras hatov to him. I don’t think there is a girls’ school in the United States that has a dedication to the beloved memory of Rebbetzin Basya Bender, a”h. We decided to dedicate a plaque in her memory that will hang in our lobby.” Below is the text of the plaque: Dedicated to the loving memory of Rebbetzin Basya Bender a”h Rebbetzin Bender a”h was imbued from early on with the mesorah

and rich heritage of the legendary Sarah Schenirer, founder of the Bais Yaakov movement. She took these lifelong lessons and transmitted them carefully to generations of girls who craved authentic Yiddishkeit. She came to these shores during World War II and continued her mission of teaching Bnos Yisroel. Along with Rebbetzin Vichna Kaplan a”h, Rebbetzin Bender took a small group of young girls, gath-

ered around a dining room table in Williamsburg, and created the Bais Yaakov movement in America. Rebbetzin Bender’s mesiras nefesh to make sure that any girl who wanted to learn was able to was incredible. Her care and concern for every talmida who came into her classroom was well-known. Her lessons in ahavas haTorah and yiras Shomayim that she gave over so lovingly were masterpieces. She became a surrogate mother to generations of students. Together with her husband, HaRav Dovid Bender, zt”l, a renowned master mechanech in his own right to thousands of talmidim in Yeshivah Torah Vodaas, they raised a mishpachah mefoar that has become a beacon of light unto the world. We at Bais Yaakov Ateres Miriam have been the fortunate recipients of Rebbetzin Bender’s devotion to Klal Yisroel through her illustrious son, HaRav Yaakov Bender, shlita. We thank HaRav Bender and Yeshiva Darchei Torah for their graciousness. B’ezras Hashem we will continue to follow in the footsteps of Rebbetzin Bender, a”h, furthering our mission of inculcating the next generation of bnos Yisroel with Torah true values.

Rabbi Stein’s fifth grade class at Siach Yitzchok celebrated the completion of their first daf of Gemara. After the boys reviewed the daf with their chavrusa, they enjoyed a delicious siyum and a kumzitz with Eitan Katz.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

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JANUARY 17, 2019 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

Mesivta Shaarei Pruzdor Rosh Chodesh Breakfast

Rabbi Binyamin Eisenberger, shlita, and Rabbi Mordechai Finkelman, shlita, at the Mesivta Shaarei Pruzdor Rosh Chodesh breakfast. Rabbi Eisenberger shared divrei hisorerus with the talmidim, after which the rebbiem and talmidim joined in singing and dancing

IVDU Long Island Open House

VDU-LI hosted its second annual open house on Monday evening, January 14, drawing a crowd of parents, therapists, and program administrators from the Five Towns, Queens and even Brooklyn communities at large. The shared commonality among all attendees was a desire to understand more about IVDU programming, as well as a feeling of appreciation and respect for all that IVDU-LI has set out to accomplish over the past two years. Opening remarks were delivered by the executive director, Mr. Jack Gourdji, who spoke about the history of IVDU, a division of YACHAD, which opened its doors 16 years ago in Brooklyn. At the request of local families with children with special needs, IVDU-LI, opened its doors in the Five Towns community in the fall of 2017, responding to a growing need for special education programming for students who would benefit from a highly individualized, academic, special education program. Next, Mr. Avromie Adler, international director of YACHAD, addressed the crowd, and

Mr. Jack Gourdji, executive director of IVDU Schools, addressing the crowd at the IVDU-LI Open House

spoke about his firsthand observations of the program and the tremendous dedication, passion, and compassion evidenced at his site-visit a few days prior. The crowd then heard from current IVDU-LI parents Rabbi and Mrs. Shlomi Edelstein, who shared their experiences having transferred their daughter from the local district public school to IVDU-LI and watching the transformation, as she started coming home with new skills and learning. They also expressed their apprecia-

tion for the care that IVDU-LI takes to place students in appropriate groupings and their commitment to creating classes with peers and curriculum that are as best suited for each child as possible. Finally, the principal, Dr. Sara Seplowitz, presented a detailed overview defining how IVDU-LI is filling the void and trying to respond to the needs of the community. IVDU-LI offers a high ratio of staff to students and teaches using an evidenced-based curriculum that utilize

hands-on visual and multi- sensory methods. Classrooms are outfitted with Smartboards, and teachers engage in ongoing consultation with on-staff therapists, as well their consulting reading specialist and BCBA. Attendees at the open house truly got a sense of IVDU LIâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mission and dedication. To find out more about IVDU-LI, please call Mrs. Miriam Reifer, school administrator, at (718) 758 2999 Ext. 3, or email reiferm@ou.org.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

Around the Community

Hands-On Science at BYQ

ast week, Bais Yaakov of Queens 6th graders met Erica Lorenzo, a scientist at UCONN health laboratory’s immunology department. Ms. Lorenzo shared fascinating details about her profession and conducted an experiment with the girls. The students were impressed to learn that Ms. Lorenzo, soon to receive her doctorate, is currently working on developing a more potent flu shot for those with weaker immune systems. The girls felt comfortable asking questions and were inspired by Ms. Lorenzo’s focus on advancing developments in the scientific world and her desire to help others through her career. After conversing with Ms. Lorenzo, the girls were guided through an “Elephant Toothpaste” demonstration and got their hands messy in creating their own “slime” to decorate and take home. The visit was perfectly timed as the 6th graders embark on their own scientific explorations for the BYQ

Annual Science Fair. The students gained insight into actualizing the scientific method and process of scientific studies. “After this visit, the girls are even more energized to continue their work for the upcoming fair,” said Mrs. Tiffy Moeller, BYQ’s sixth grade science teacher and mentor.

JANUARY 17, 2019 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

True Friendship at YOSS

abbi Yakov Horowitz, the founder and Dean of Yeshiva Darchei Noam of Monsey and the founder and Director of Project Y.E.S., recently presented a second in a series of workshops on the topic of True Friendship to sixth graders at YOSS Mechinas Toras Avraham.

More Than 500 Guests Join Yeshiva University High Schools’ Journey at Annual Dinner of Tribute

eshiva University High Schools welcomed more than 500 guests at its Annual Dinner of Tribute on Monday, January 7 at Marina del Ray. Guests joined the YUHS journey and explored the strong mesorah, top-tier education, and powerful legacy that both Yeshiva University High School for Boys (MTA) and Yeshiva University High School for Girls (Central) are known for. The Dinner paid tribute to Guests of Honor Jonathan (‘91) and Jessica Landa (YUHSB parents), Robin and Nazila Baradarian (YUHSG parents); Faculty Award recipients Liora Haibi (YUHSB) and Leah Moskovich (‘07, YUHSG); and Alumni Achievement Award recipients Shuey Jacoby (‘02, YUHSB) and Rabbanit Shani Taragin (‘91, YUHSG). “The dinner is a celebration of the Yeshiva University High Schools. It brings together our impressive parent body, which is comprised of educators, including elementary school principals, Jewish communal leaders, and parents from different

communities, along with YU Roshei Yeshiva, and other distinguished guests,” said YUHSB Head of School Rabbi Joshua Kahn. “Through our honorees, we pay tribute to the dedicated members of our community, as well as highlight our values of Talmud Torah, academic excellence, commitment to middos and holistic development, leadership, and cultivating the talents and interests of our talmidim.” The program included a video series highlighting each honoree as

well as the strong Torah, academic, and extracurricular programs provided by the Yeshiva University High Schools. “Our Annual Dinner is a celebration of the Yeshiva University High Schools’ mission to build pathways for success for all of our students so that they can grow as b’not and b’nei Torah with an enthusiasm for their avodat Hashem and for the myriad ways in which they contribute to our community,” said YUHSG Head of School Mrs. CB Neugroschl. “Our honorees in-

spire all of us to treasure the special school community we have and to invest in our children because they will be our future.” The event concluded with a Student Activities Fair, where both YUHSB and YUHSG students showcased their talents in a wide range of extracurricular activities, including Chess, Robotics, Torah Bowl, Rambam Bekiyut, Coding, and Math. Guests enjoyed interacting with students and learning more about their intellectual pursuits.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

JANUARY 17, 2019 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community Rabbi Yaakov Hillel, shlita, recently visited Yeshiva Ketana of Long Island and spoke with the talmidim

Senator Todd Kaminsky was sworn in last Wednesday for his third term in the New York State Legislature in a ceremony on the floor of the Senate chamber. New York State Chief Judge Janet DiFiore administered the oath of office, as the Senator vowed to continue fighting for his constituents throughout the 9th Senate District. This session, as the senior member of the Senate Majority’s Long Island delegation, Senator Kaminsky will be in a unique position to advance policy and budgetary matters of importance to Long Island families, businesses and seniors. Kaminsky was also tapped to serve as Chair of the Senate Environmental Conservation Committee, a role the Senator will utilize to protect and preserve the pristine natural resources of the Island and New York State at-large.

As part of the Governor’s Office of Storm Recovery’s (GOSR) projected flood mitigation program, seen here are Lawrence Mayor Alex H. Edelman and Deputy Village Administrator Gerry Castro reviewing storm-water infrastructure maps with Gilbert A. Anderson, Senior Project Director. At Mayor Edelman’s invitation, consulting engineer Anderson will join Nassau County Deputy Commissioner of Public Works Sean Sallie at the February 14, 2019 meeting of the Lawrence Board of Trustees to update the community on the progress of the stormwater flood prevention projects.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

Around the Community

What Happens When You Combine Neuroscience Research, State-Of-The-Art Interactive Software, and HALB?

uring the past five years, HALB has partnered with 2Sigma Education to implement a blended learning educational model. The model leverages the power of technology to provide students with individualized instruction while giving personalized attention in small groups facilitated by teachers. As part of the model, students independently use the software for a limited time during Math and Language Arts. The data generated by their work on these programs is then analyzed comprehensively and efficiently to provide one-on-one or small group intervention and enrichment, based on a student’s needs. Among the programs used by 500 students in K-4th grade is STMath, a visually based math program. Designed by Mind Research Institute, a neuroscience research institute located on the University of California Irvine, STMath is used by more than 1.25 million students across 4000

schools in the United States. It is regarded as one of the most sophisticated math software programs available. With the help of 2Sigma, HALB formed a partnership with Mind Research nearly five years ago and is at

what motivated the visit, Feldman noted, “Over the years, we have noticed HALB’s innovative, data-driven methods in using STMath to personalize instruction. There is no other school using our program with such sophistication. We wanted to congratulate the staff for their effort as well as explore additional ways we can work together moving forward.” During his visit Mr. Feldman visited classrooms, received feedback from students and witnessed firsthand the data-driven educational model implemented at HALB. He also met with teachers and administrators to commend them for their great work, as well as discuss some of the challenges for students and teachers when using ST Math. While sharing his observations at HALB with teachers and administrators, Mr. Feldman remarked, “You hear a lot of talk across the country about using technology and data to individualize learning for every student, but at HALB it’s actually happening.”

the forefront of developing ways to use the program and the data. In early December, Hebrew Academy of Long Beach hosted Matt Feldman, vice president of Product at Mind Research Institute. When asked

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JANUARY 17, 2019 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

Fidelity Payment Services Welcomes Leading Community Figures and Rabbanim to its Kvias Mezuzah

his past December, Fidelity Payment inaugurated its new office in the Brooklyn Navy Yard with the presence of the community’s Rebbes. Attended by Fidelity management, stakeholders, and communal figures, the kvias mezuzah event truly encapsulated the merchant service company’s perfected approach: that is, the seamless fusion of community loyalty with industry-leading technological innovation. Fidelity made its move into the 19,000 square-foot headquarters in September of this year. Overlooking the scenic East River, the office features an expanded customer service department, multiple training and conference rooms, and modernized workspaces – all designed to promote merchant and employee satisfaction. It was precisely in this state-of-theart environment that several Rebbes joined the company last week to share their blessings. The Rebbes that took part in the kvias mezuzah – all of whom share connections with Fidelity employees – brought an aura of warmth and respect to the office as they put up the company’s new mezuzahs, shared their wisdom and best wishes, and joined in for some singing along with Fidelity management and select sales agents. Fidelity Payments was founded in 1996 by Binyumin “Ben” Weiser, a Williamsburg native and then-burgeoning entrepreneur who had noticed a void in the marketplace – and especially one in the frum retail environment. At that time, most merchants were only accepting cash and check payments in-store, and Fidelity quickly gained entry into the industry

by equipping local merchants with credit card processing hardware, software, and low rates. Since then, the world of payment processing has evolved tremendously. As Fidelity maintains its stronghold in the local community, it simultaneously pursues tremendous growth that has already made waves well beyond Brooklyn, Lakewood,

Monsey, and the Five Towns. The investment firm H.I.G. Capital has been a partner in this growth, as their continued investment allows the company to rapidly expanded its lineup of products and services – in terms of both quality and quantity. From its proprietary Cardknox payment gateway, to its e-commerce and point-of-sale solutions, to its security and compliance expertise, the Fidelity menu has grown tremendously since the low-tech payments sphere of 1996. But what hasn’t changed all along is the company’s unwavering commitment to providing the lowest rates possible and superior customer service. The face of this top-tier customer service is Fidelity’s growing team of sales agents that consistently deliver hands-on support and innovative technology to clients. As the vast majority of Fidelity sales agents work in frum communities, it’s no wonder that you’ll see the Fidelity logo on checkout counters all throughout the

tri-state area. Many of these businesses are using Fidelity’s payment gateway, Cardknox, which can be integrated with retail software and hardware to give business owners access to custom-fit, cutting-edge features. This includes security encryption to keep card data safe from hackers; flexible recurring billing; automatic updating of expired cards on file; and support for mobile wallets. With its high-level, industry-leading solutions, Cardknox is quickly making a name for itself outside of the frum community: the proprietary gateway is now the payment solution of choice for big names like Goodyear, Maglite, and Century 21. Yet even while Fidelity builds an expansive client and partner list that features well-known brands and individuals, the company continues to honor and take pride in its roots – as was evident at the kvias mezuzah. After all, it is this local community and its leaders that have shaped and sustained Fidelity all along.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

JANUARY 17, 2019 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

Alumni Nachas

very year, a number of DRS rabbeim travel to Israel to visit DRS alumni studying in yeshivot in Israel for the year. Menahel Rabbi Yisroel Kaminetsky, Associate Principal Rabbi Elly Storch, Director of Israel Guidance Rabbi Avi Weber,

and Mashgiach Ruchani Rabbi Aryeh Cohen visit the alumni learning in nearly 20 different yeshivos to reconnect with them and continue to strengthen the rebbe-talmid relationship for which DRS is so famous. All four meet with each of the DRS

alumni, documenting their individual experiences, in order to better serve DRS students when helping them make their decisions of where to go to yeshiva in the future. It gives the school tremendous nachas to see so many alumni grow-

ing through their experience in yeshiva abroad. We are proud that 96% of our alumni decide to spend a year after high school learning in Eretz Yisroel for a year.

The Bachurei Chemed -Yedidei Hashem was a project inspired by our late Rosh Yeshiva, Rav Binyamin Kamenetzky, zt”l, who left a legacy of amazing programs in the Yeshiva that help the talmidim grow in love for Yiddishkeit and middos tovos. During his lifetime he personified

qualities of sterling middos which in turn inspired each of those who knew him. May the Rosh Yeshiva’s memory continue to inspire our talmidim for generations to come.

YOSS Bachurei Chemed: Yedidei Hashem

ast week, a select group of talmidim of Yeshiva of South Shore were privileged to visit and hear divrei chizuk from Rav Sholom Noach Landau, shlit”a, Rosh Yeshiva of Ohr Shraga d’Veretzky. These talmidim, from the 4th through 8th grade, are Bachurei Chemed-Yedidei Hashem, who were chosen by the rabbeim for exhibiting exemplary middos and derech eretz throughout the first half of the year. Led by the director of Student Activities, Rabbi Shlomo Drebin, the talmidim ventured to Ohr Shraga in Brooklyn. The 35 boys listened intently as Rav Landau expressed his recognition of the boys’ accomplishments stating that he felt honored to be visited by such an esteemed group of young men. He spoke of the chal-

lenges of being a mensch in today’s “free society” that America provides and praised them for their hanhaga tova. He regaled the boys with stories about Gedolim and one specifically Rav Matisyahu Solomon, shlit”a . As a young child Rav Solomon perceived that when a leaf falls off of a tree in autumn one would think it’s free to go wherever the wind takes it, but in actuality the leaf is better off on the tree where it remains alive by being sustained with nourishment that the tree provides. So too, if chas v’shalom a Yid disconnects from Torah to be “free,” he is not free at all. By being attached to the Eitz Chaim, the Torah, one remains alive and vibrant. As a final touch, Rav Landau gave each boy a warm bracha and handed each of them a large pastry.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

Around the Community

10 Years & Counting

h, what a night! HAFTR alumni Class of 2008 excitedly returned to school this past Saturday night for a fun-filled evening celebrating their ten-year reunion. The event was held in the new Scott Satran Arena entrance, an area that was built only a few years ago. After taking in the remarkable new gym, squeals of delight could be heard as the graduates greeted their former classmates. Over 100 guests, including graduates and their spous-

es, enjoyed a delicious buffet dinner complete with a sushi bar provided by Genadeen Caterers and Oma’s Sushi. After stopping at the photo booth for some fun keepsakes, the graduates spent time reminiscing with old friends. “It was so much fun to be back together with all of my friends from high school in one room,” commented Aliza (Friedman) Romanoff, one of the reunion committee members and current HAFTR parent. “It was an amazing night!”

Graduates traveled from all over the tri-state area to spend the night catching up with old friends. Some hadn’t been back in the Five Towns for years and couldn’t believe the changes not only in the school but in the community as well. After receiving their “swag bags” and saying goodnight, all promised to keep in touch. Thanks to the HAFTR alumni for one of the largest and most successful reunions! We can’t wait for the next alumni event!

Guests took turns playing games and also had the opportunity to roam the halls; finding their lockers as well as checking out the school’s new state-of-the-art STEM lab and student center, built this past year. Watching the montage of pictures from their time in high school had an emotional effect on the graduates. “Being in the school just elicited so many memories,” said Ashley (Grossman) Alibayof, member of the reunion committee and HAFTR MS faculty member.

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JANUARY 17, 2019 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

Rav Yaakov Feitman giving Daf Yomi at the Solomon-Kaufman wedding in Toronto

We Are All Achiezer 2019 Stunning Gala Showcases Unprecedented Support for Bastion of Chessed

he annual Achiezer Gala, held last Sunday, January 6, had arrived. Based on the unprecedented turnout, one thing was clear: The attendees had been eagerly awaiting this event, which some called “the highlight of the year” in the Five Towns and Far Rockaway communities. By 6 p.m., it was clear that the crowd would be like no other the community had ever seen at a function of this sort. This was evidenced, as well, by the fact that for the first time in the history of The Sands Atlantic Beach, extra parking lots far from the main lot were opened to accommodate the continuous flow of arrivals. The Gala was elegantly catered by Elite Caterers. Approximately 1,900 people converged on the banquet hall over the course of the evening, ready to express their support for a one-of-akind organization that has redefined chessed in our communities. Elegantly catered by Elite Caterers, the formal program saw over

1,200 people pack the room with hundreds standing along the sides and in the hallways. Dr. Azriel Hirschfeld, master of ceremonies, set the tone of the evening by stressing that the community’s strong expression of support during this year’s dinner campaign made clear that the support for Achiezer among the masses has never been stronger. Tehillim was then led by Rav Yaakov Bender, Rosh HaYeshiva of Yeshiva Darchei Torah, for all the cholim of the community. Attendees then watched a video paying tribute to Dr. Richie Friedman, z”l, in whose memory the dinner was dedicated. Dr. Friedman’s father, Dr. Ira Friedman, his wife, Mrs. Cheryl Friedman, and his children were all present. Dr. Hirschfeld then introduced the indefatigable founder of Achiezer, Boruch Ber Bender, who has carried the yoke of chessed in the community on his shoulders, never resting and never allowing himself to be satisfied with past achievements.

Did you know? During an average lift off, a commercial jet takes off at 550-580 miles per hour

Rabbi Bender, speaking emotionally and from his heart, described how unity is achieved, stating that the outpouring of support, and the participation of so many people, demonstrated the sentiment of the community as a whole that they need Achiezer and have thrown their full support behind this citadel of giving. Rabbi Bender poignantly listed, by name, the community members who passed away over the prior year. “This community and all of you that showed up,” he said, “provides these families a feeling of nechama that we’re there for them whenever they need us.” Rabbi Bender told an astounding story about a woman who had passed away. “The last time she was conscious,” said Rabbi Bender, “she was crying from happiness, because she had been a recipient of the chessed of Achiezer and the community, and she felt so lucky to be part of it.” Rabbi Bender then introduced a new Achiezer initiative that will pair people up with others going through a similar illness or crisis, be it medical, emotional or financial. This idea was very well-received by the crowd. A surprise award was then presented to Daniel Younger, a volunteer stricken with a muscular illness, who, despite his handicap, has shown genuine heroism by being involved in numerous chassadim, even participating in cases of meis mitzvah. One time, Rabbi Bender shared, when Daniel was unable to move his hands,

he still asked a volunteer for some dirt so that he could participate in a burial. This description of such selfless caring and giving was met with a standing ovation from the packed audience. The evening’s honorees were then recognized, with each one’s accomplishments being beautifully depicted on a video presentation. Mr. Michael H. Goldberg was honored as Man of the Year, Yossy and Miriam Lea Ungar were the Pillars of Chesed Awardees, Shalom and Leah Jaroslawicz received the Young Leadership Award, and Excellent in Medicine Awards were presented to Dr. Martin Kessler and Dr. Ari Hoschander. This was followed by the formal dedication of the Edith Lowinger Achiezer Volunteer Network, installed by Ronald and Dr. Brucha Lowinger. A musical interlude with Shulem Lemmer and Baruch Levine followed, paying homage to the Achiezer volunteers. As music filled the air and the guests pondered the messages shared throughout the uplifting evening, the underlying theme was one of unity and coming together. Every person who exited The Sands that evening knew that they are never alone. Because there are those who spend their every waking moment concerned about the community and concerned about the individual. The message was unambiguous: We are all Achiezer.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

Y E S H I VA O F FA R R O C K AWAY

REFLECTIONS

Celebrating a

YOVEL FIFTY YEARS OF HARBOTZAS TORAH

“Leadership, scholarship and ehrlichkeit are the hallmark of Rav Perr shlit”a ever since I have known him, which is more than seventy years. May he continue his harbotzas haTorah for many years to come.”

RABBI CHAIM BRESSLER Rosh Yeshiva, Yeshiva Bais Moshe of Scranton

‫אות הכרת הטוב‬ HAGAON HARAV

YECHIEL YITZCHOK PERR SHLIT”A

ROSH

H AY E S H I VA

GIVING THE ROSH YESHIVA THE GIFT OF A MORTGAGE-FREE CAMPUS

‫שע"ט‬

‫ ת‬-‫תשכ"ט‬

BENJAMIN BRAFMAN HO N OR A RY DINNER CHAIRMAN

JONAH LOBELL

YESHIVA of FAR ROCKAWAY ⋅

‫איתן‬

‫דרך‬

‫ישיבה‬

DINNER CHAIRMAN

⋅

MOLDING TALMIDIM BUILDING GENERATIONS

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 10, 2019 THE SANDS ATLANTIC BEACH

For reservations or journal ad placement please contact:

P. 718.327.7600 E. dinner@yofr.org

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“Thirty-one years ago I witnessed the Rosh Yeshiva, Rabbi Perr shlit”a, invest fatherly time and effort in a yungerman to develop his personality, character and confidence, while empowering him as a novice 12th grade Rebbi. That yungerman was me. I’ve watched the Rosh Yeshiva develop hundreds of talmidim the same way, creating generations of ehrlich and steadfast Bnei Torah.”

RABBI AHRON KAUFMAN Rosh Yeshiva, Yeshiva Ateres Shmuel of Waterbury

JANUARY 17, 2019 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

Fun & Games at 5 Towns Hockey League

hat a season it was for the 5 Towns Hockey League! Under the leadership of Rabbi Eli Brazil, Ira Schechter and Rabbi Steven Genachowski, the 5 Towns Sports Hockey League is finishing up what has been a tremendous season. The season and playoffs were beyond amazing as many of the games were decided in overtime and in the final seconds. The league, which is now in its 20th year, is open to Pre 1A -8th grade boys in the Five Towns and surrounding areas. It has had five divisions with over 25 teams. The ability to play competitive hockey in a structured, middos-driven environment makes this league such a great success. Plans are underway for next season, which

will begin in the second week of February. Thank you to the league sponsor Traditions Eatery. We have made many updates to the program

by distributing monthly giveaways and free Traditions gift cards. South Shore Yeshiva also just installed a brand-new gym floor, which is

amazing. More games! More fun! For information and to sign up for next season, please go to www.5townssports.com.

HANC Hosts NY Islanders School Assembly Program

HALB’s Current Events Culmination

ALB Middle School girls recently had their culminating event for their current events semester-long class: a news show, initiated and planned entirely by the students themselves. Staged in our auditorium, these students shared their understanding of today’s top international, national, and local stories for their counterparts in each grade who will participate in this semester-long course immediately following winter vacation. Taught by Mrs. Wein, this course provided students with the tools to better understand: how news is disseminated; what constitutes reliable news sources; the structure of the newspaper, the front page, and news articles; how news is covered; and how we can become better consumers of news. Mrs. Wein, who

teaches the course, is impressed by the students’ progress in digesting and processing news articles as well as their growth in articulating their thoughts and ideas surrounding current events. The news show today showcased so many 21st century “C” skills that HALB girls are proud to hone: critical thinking, curiosity, choice, collaboration, communication, creativity, and cultural, global, and environmental awareness.

Did you know? At any given time in a day, there are over 61,000 people inside a plane in the United States

t was an exciting morning at HANC Plainview on Thursday, January 10! The New York Islanders School Assembly Program, led by hostess Dina and their mascot, Sparky the Dragon, filled the room with energy and excitement as they talked about teamwork, making healthy lifestyle choices and help students realize why being committed to making smart decisions is important in school and in life. There was an engaging video presentation featuring members

of the Islanders team, interaction throughout the assembly, and a very special take-home gift for all the students in our elementary school. It was the idea of 4th grade general studies teacher Mrs. Jenny DeMeo, a tried and true Islander fan, for the school to apply to host the presentation, and Mrs. Francie Goldberg, Director of Admissions, ran with the idea. The smiles on everyone’s faces throughout the program proved that this was indeed a special program.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

Around the Community

Father-Daughter Morning at Shulamith Middle Division By Aliza Zilberberg

ast week, Shulamith Middle Division students invited their fathers to school for the annual Father-Daughter Minyan, generously sponsored by Rabbi Ira & Chevi Ebbin, David & Sarah Casden, David Chait, Avi & Julie Feinberg, Yakov & Mindy Moskowitz, Misha &

Estee Rapaport, and Daniel & Tzippy Yarmish. The fathers led the tefillot, and their daughters followed close behind. After the davening, each student joined her father in the lunchroom to enjoy a delicious brunch. Tefillah is treasured at Shulamith School for Girls!

Mesivta Football League Championship

he Mesivta Football League brought its seventh season to a close this past Sunday. From beginning to end, it was an exhilarating experience for all participating yeshivos. Under the direction of Rabbi Yossi Bennett, S’gan Menahel at Mesivta Ateres Yaakov, nine local yeshiva high schools were represented this season which ran from November through January. Every Sunday afternoon throughout the long, cold winter, teams arrived for their games at Lawrence High School excited to represent their schools in competitive flag football. Games were intense, but menschlech, with tremendous sportsmanship displayed week in, week out by all teams. For the third year in a row, the League would like to congratulate Coach Rabbi Yisroel Munk and his YDT Lightning on winning this season’s championship! After two rounds of playoffs, Sunday brought with it a frigid day for a championship football game. The number 1 seed, Yeshiva Darchei Torah Lightning, who beat the Flatbush Falcons in the semifinals, would take on the Yeshivat Sha’are Torah Stars, who had beaten the HAFTR Hawks. This one turned out to be a real nail biter! Both teams definitely came to play, and

it was a tight offensive and defensive matchup throughout. After Sha’are went up 14-0 early in the first half, Darchei responded and tied it up 14 a piece before halftime. But the second half seemed to be all Darchei.

When the dust settled, the YDT Lightning took home the victory for the third season in row, with a 27-14 win. The League congratulates Yeshiva Darchei Torah on the win and senior Yosef Olshan on winning the

Championship Game MVP trophy. The League would like to thank all participating yeshivos – players, coaches, administrators and fans – for helping make this season so incredible.

For more information about the Mesivta Football League, please visit their website at mesivtafootball. com or email mesivtafootball@gmail.com.

JANUARY 17, 2019 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

Record Crowd Gathers in Support of Yeshiva Darchei Torah at its Annual Dinner PHOTOS BY TSEMACH GLENN

Rabbi Yaakov Bender, rosh hayeshiva of Yeshiva Darchei Torah, spoke about the vital role of mothers in the chinuch of their children

Dov Karfunkel, Guest of Honor

Rabbi Shlomo Avigdor Altusky, rosh yeshiva of Beis Medrash Heichal Dovid of YDT

Ronald Lowinger, president of Yeshiva Darchei Torah

Elisha Brecher, co-chairman of the YDT board of directors

During the dinner program

Rabbi Moshe Bender, associate dean, introducing his father, Rabbi Yaakov Bender, rosh hayeshiva

Pinny Heskiel, Young Leadership Awardee

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

Around the Community For more information, or for recordings of the event, visit Darchei.org/dinner; email dinner@darchei.org; or call 718.868.2300 ext. 301.

Meir Fried, Parents of the Year Awardee

Mordechai Ben David, a YDT grandparent, singing at the conclusion of the dinner

A special presentation was made to the individuals who were instrumental in securing the refinance of the Yeshivaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mortgage. L-R: Rabbi Avrohom Bender, Rabbi Avraham Schachner, Rabbi Yaakov Bender, Shia Ostreicher, Samuel Krieger, Ronald Lowinger, Thomas Hunter of KeyBank, Rabbi Lloyd Keilson, John Manginelli of KeyBank, Rabbi Moshe Bender, Ben Orlofsky and Yossi Gross

Rabbi Yaakov Bender makes a surprise presentation to Rabbi Lloyd Keilson, co-chairman of the YDT board of trustees, in recognition of his tireless efforts on the mortgage refinance

Rabbi Shmuel Feldman, Harbotzas Torah Awardee, is presented with a portrait of his parents

Rabbi Dovid Geller, mashgiach ruchani of Beis Medrash Heichal Dovid, leading a collective Siyum Hashas lizeicher nishmas Reb Mechel Karfunkel, zâ&#x20AC;?l, by bachurim of the Yeshiva

JANUARY 17, 2019 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

Nedivei Lev Service Society at DRS

ast week, DRS held its eighth annual Nedivei Lev Service Society Induction Ceremony. This special ceremony recognizes DRS students who have shown exemplary service to their community and school through extraordinary acts of chessed and kindness. The ceremony

honored members of the senior class who have served their school and the larger community with great distinction. The ceremony was attended by the entire student body, as well as faculty and parents. Rabbi Eli Brazil, Director of Student Activities, deliv-

ered opening remarks and discussed the Nedivei Lev Service Society as well as the concept of chessed and giving to others. Rabbi Aryeh Lebowitz offered some introductory words as well, offering a dvar Torah focusing on the importance of being a baal chessed. What made the program truly unique was that the students were given awards by the directors and founders of many of the organizations that were the beneficiaries of the great chessed done by DRS students. Mr. Andy Lauber of i-Shine presented Akiva Aryeh, Yaakov Weissman, and Shmulie Shafler with an award for their involvement mentoring boys who have a family member struggling with illness. Mrs. Ariella Newman awarded Joseph Greenberg for his volunteer work with the TOVA Mentoring Program. Mrs. Madeline Rosenberg spoke about Yosef Mehlman’s accomplishments at DRS. Rabbi Ahron Rosenthal, assistant director of Yachad, honored Jacob

Penstein, Jonathan Wenger, Yehudah Fuchs and Josh Trauring for their involvement with special needs individuals. Batsheva Borenstein, Director of the Five Towns Chabad, thanked Yishai Attias, Yehuda Frankel, Josh Goldfeder and Jonah Neiman for their countless hours of service to Chabad’s Friendship Circle. Rabbi Ephraim Polakoff lauded Yaakov Fuchs for his dedication to the DRS-NCSY Jump Team, and Rabbi Aaron Fleksher offered words of hakarat hatov to Chaim Schwartz for all of his work on behalf of DRS, most notably leading the charge of the DRSLive team, which broadcasts DRS sporting events to the internet. Finally, Mr. John Goldhirsch, the community engagement coordinator for the Gift of Life Organization, presented an award to Aiden Englander. A big yasher koach to all the honorees on their chessed and to Student Activities Director Rabbi Brazil who coordinates all chessed opportunities in DRS.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

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JANUARY 17, 2019 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

Celebrating Their Bat Mitzvahs at Shulamith

ast Wednesday evening, Shulamith 6th graders celebrated entering the age of mitzvot with their mothers, teachers, and principals. The students performed a meaningful cantata in which they explored the significance of the women of the Jewish nation. The cantata told the stories of the seven prophetess of the Jewish nation entirely in Hebrew, with a script composed by Morah Chana Schwartz, based on sources in the Tanach and the Medrash Agaddah. After this, the mothers and daughters spent time in three rotating workshops, enjoying a shiur for mothers and daughters with Morah Chana, baking challah with Morah Shoshana Fischman, and simcha dancing with Mrs. Sima Gefen. The evening included a scrumptious dairy dinner and dessert. Siddurim were presented as gifts to all the girls in honor of their becoming bnot mitzvah.

Mrs. Jessica Tsur with her daughter, Talya

Reuniting in the Holy Land Reconnecting with HANC Alumni Studying in Israel

his past week, Rabbi Adelman, along with Director of Girls’ Israel Guidance, Morah Linda Nathan, and Rebbe, Rabbi Yisrael Weingot visited our alumni spending the year studying in various yeshivot and seminaries. Rabbi Adelman, Rabbi Weingot and Morah Nathan visited students in their respective yeshivot and seminaries all over Israel, showing our alumni how important they are to the HANC family. Maintaining close relationships with alumni is greatly emphasized at HANC, and it is one aspect of HANC that truly stands out. Members of the class of 2018 were reunited on Tuesday, January 8, as they were treated to a delicious dinner at Piccolino’s in the heart of Yerushalayim. The alumni gathered together once again as they caught up with each other, sang songs and shared beautiful divrei Torah. Rabbi Adelman, Rabbi Weingot and Morah Nathan also had

HANC High School Menahel Rabbi Shlomo Adelman, along with Girls’ Israel Guidance Director, Mrs. Linda Nathan, and Rebbe, Rabbi Yisrael Weingot, at a reunion with HANC alumni learning in Israel for the year

the pleasure of spending time with Chayalei Bodedim, Harrison Kahn (‘16), Yoni Greenberg (‘16) and

Yocheved Jacobs (‘17) for dinner in Yerushalayim. At the dinner, Rabbi Adelman presented our chayalim

with hakarat hatov cards signed by HANC’s student body and faculty.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

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JANUARY 17, 2019 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

YCQ Alumni Association Kick-Off Reception

t was an amazing evening Motzei Shabbat, January 5, when the Yeshiva of Central Queens Alumni Association had its launch at a gala reception. The reception was to welcome and thank the class representatives for their commitment to YCQ and the Jewish community. Alumni co-chair Randi Beeber Luxenberg told those in attendance that “you are the building blocks that will bring this important project to fruition.” The event was to renew the interest of alumni in our yeshiva. Rabbi Landsman gave a tour of the building to alumni from graduating classes 1963 through the present. The Alumni Association’s vision is to engage graduates and develop close relationships, so current students and faculty can continue to benefit from their skills and experience. Alumni relations are an integral part of keeping an institution thriving, and it is the first step in continued growth for our yeshiva. YCQ has multiple generations of alumni, which is the cornerstone of keeping our heritage alive, as well as role modeling for current students how imperative this association is

now, in the present and for their futures as they become contributing adult members of Klal Yisroel. The administration, committee members, and YCQ Board members were in attendance to answer questions and show support for this project. The speakers discussed the growth the yeshiva has taken since its inception in 1941 in the world of academics and technology; most importantly how YCQ is keeping students connected to their heritage, their beliefs, and to Eretz Yisroel as we prepare them for their futures.

Chaverim Members Appreciation Dinner

haverim of Queens held their Members Appreciation Dinner, celebrating more than a decade of service to the Queens community, last Chaverim of Queens was founded in memory of Mr. Jack Friedman, whose name was synonymous with tzedaka and chessed and whose name lives on with the work that Chaverim does. The Friedman, Fried, and Mermelstein families were thanked at the dinner for their ongoing support to the organization. Chaverim is a 100% volunteer organization that started in January 2008 with just ten volunteers. Chaverim now has over a hundred volunteers who respond to a few thousand calls per year. The dinner was held to show appreciation for the volunteers who go above and beyond the call of duty on a daily basis to assist the Queens community. Hakoras Hatov awards were given

to Uri Schlachter and Yair Adler for their dedication to Chaverim. Aaron Cyperstein, Esq., president of COQ, acknowledged the participation of Queens Borough President Melinda Katz, Councilman Barry Grodenchik, NYPD representatives from the 107 Precinct, and Rabbi Daniel Pollack, Special Assistant to Congresswoman Grace

Meng. They were thanked for their assistance to the organization. All stated that it was really uplifting to see young volunteerism. The volunteers enjoyed a sumptuous buffet dinner at Beit Eliyahu thanks to the following generous sponsors: Jacob Babadzhanov and Robert Aronov from Bet Eliyahu. The delicious food enjoyed all by all

was graciously sponsored by Wasserman’s, Mechy’s Takeout, Chaimy from Seasons as well as Glicks. Photography was by Israel Peskowitz & Eric Seebag; Rafi from Custom Event Staffing; music & effects by DJ Alex & JPN Productions. Additional sponsors: Lev Zavlyanov, pharmacist; Robert Yusupov of FM Home Loans; Brian Tom, MFM Bankers (for all your mortgage needs direct lender); Yaakov Portnoy/PEYD; Emanuel & Alex from East Coast Auto; Michael from Safe-House Locksmith. Chaverim is actively recruiting dispatchers and volunteers. Please contact Meir Ehrenpreis at 917)-8157992 or Eli Kreindler at 646-6103375. COQ is non-profit organization which accepts your tax deductible donations online at chaverimofqueens.org.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

Around the Community

MTA’s Model UN Team Visits United Nations and China Mission

n Thursday, January 3, MTA’s Model UN Team visited the United Nations and the Permanent Mission of China. In preparation for the Yeshiva University National Model United Nations in February, the team has been learning about how the UN works, as well as the policies of both China and the UN, which culminated with this trip. The trip began with a tour of the United Nations, where the team saw the rooms where the Security Council and General Assembly meet and learned about important UN efforts such as disarmament, economic opportunity, and peacekeeping. The tour helped the team appreciate the important work that the UN does and will also help the delegates better understand their job in their various committees at YUNMUN. The highlight of the day was their visit to the Permanent Mission of China, where nine consular officials briefed the team on issues affecting their committees and took questions on sensitive political issues. From human rights to food waste to the status of Myanmar and the South China Sea, these officials explained Chinese positions on some of the important current issues. As leaders of one of the founding nations of

the UN, a permanent member of the UN Security Council, and the most populous country on Earth, it was impressive and greatly appreciated that these busy officials took time out of their busy day to meet with high school students.

Republican Majority Calls on County Executive to Delay Removal of ICE Liaison from Correctional Facility

assau County Deputy Presiding Officer Howard Kopel, Legislator Denise Ford, and members of the Republican Majority called on County Executive Laura Curran this week to delay her decision to remove the liaison for the United States Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) from the Correctional Center. This move would end a 20-year relationship between Homeland Security/ICE and Nassau County at the facility. “The safety of Nassau County

residents is the top concern of the Legislature,” Deputy Presiding Officer Kopel said. “ICE’s presence at the Correctional Center was greatly benefiting law enforcement, and helped with sharing information, and catching criminals. We need to figure out a way to make sure we do not lose this benefit in the County, because it will put residents at risk.” “It is my understanding that the presence of ICE at the Correctional Center has allowed for a valuable exchange of information and co-

operation between the federal government and county,” said Nassau County Legislature Presiding Officer Richard Nicolello. “With foreign gangs, specifically MS-13, being a major safety threat for Nassau County residents, I am concerned as to the effect of ending that relationship. I ask the County Executive delay the removal of the ICE liaison until we can ensure the safety of Nassau County residents moving forward.” The County Executive’s action

is based off a recent court decision that would prevent local law enforcement agencies, including the Nassau County Correctional Center, from holding an inmate at the jail pursuant to an ICE detainer and administrative warrant. However, ICE argues that there are ways they can maintain a presence at the facility and not be in violation of the court decision.

JANUARY 17, 2019 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

YCQ’S 78th Anniversary Scholarship Dinner

hat is expected to be one of the most exciting events in the Yeshiva’s history, the 78th Anniversary Scholarship Dinner of Yeshiva of Central Queens, will iy”H take place Motzei Shabbos, March 2, it was announced by YCQ Board Chairman Israel Glaser. The new venue, new format, and outstanding honorees will no doubt attract many parents, alumni and guests. This year’s Dinner will take place at the majestic setting of the Old Westbury Hebrew Congregation in Long Island and will feature a sumptuous grand buffet with entertainment by singing sensation Avi Perets. The Yeshiva will pay tribute to a unique group of honorees whose commitment to the yeshiva is particularly noteworthy, according to YCQ President Joel Wein. Two outstanding Hillcrest couples, Drs. Joshua and Rachel Sisser and Rabbi Todd and Dr. Eve Sulli-

Drs. Joshua and Rachel Sisser

Rabbi Todd and Dr. Eve Sullivan

van, have been selected as Guests of Honor. The Sissers and Sullivans are excellent role models of devotion to family and community, as nurturing parents and in their dedication to their shul, Congregation Ohr Moshe. Both Rachel and Eve are members of the YCQ Board of Trustees. Eve served for many years as a vice president of the Parents Association. Rachel has been involved in developing new school projects such as the Grandparents

Mrs. Randi Luxenberg

Club and Parnas Hayom. Together, the two couples conceived the idea of a 5K Walk/Run in memory of former Assemblyman and YCQ Board Member Mike Simanowitz, a”h, scheduled for the fall of 2019 in support of the Yeshiva. The Educator Award will be presented to the Yeshiva’s esteemed Rabbi Moshe Hamel, Assistant Principal of the Junior High School limudei kodesh division since 2011, after having served for a decade as a devoted Rebbe at the Yeshiva. A skilled, experienced and creative professional, Rabbi Hamel utilizes his talent to enrich the Junior High School curriculum and to imbue in the students a love for Torah and Eretz Yisrael, as well as an enthusiasm to grow in mitzvot and middot tovot. He has established a lifelong kesher with many of his students. Receiving the Distinguished Alumni Award will be Mrs. Randi (Beeber) Luxenberg ’73, who has selflessly devoted her life to serving her brothers and sisters in Klal Yisrael in so many ways, whether it be

Rabbi Moshe Hamel

Shaare Zedek Medical Center, Colel Chabad, the Young Israel of Great Neck, the Hampton Synagogue, and the North Shore Hebrew Academy. But one of her most favorite projects is her service as co-chairperson of YCQ’s Alumni Committee in gratitude for the excellent education she received and all the wonderful lifelong friends she made. The YCQ Alumni Facebook page she created, hosts over three hundred alumni, and has an active following for YCQ news updates. For the first time, the Dinner Journal will be showcased online, according to Dinner Chairperson Mrs. Reize Sipzner. Mrs. Sipzner asked everyone to show their hakarat hatov to the Yeshiva and the honorees and help support the education of the Yeshiva’s scholarship students by placing ads in the journal and making reservations for what is sure to be a spectacular event. For more information, please call the Yeshiva at 718-7938500 ext. 300, or visit www.ycqdinner.com.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home JANUARY 17, 2019 | The Jewish Home

TJH

Centerfold

You gotta be kidding Three Texans die and go to heaven and bump into Albert Einstein. Einstein introduces himself to the first guy and says, “Timmy, what was your IQ when you were alive?” “161,” Timmy replies. “Great!” says Einstein, “we’ll discuss my general theory of relativity and maybe a little unified field theory as I show you around.”

Riddle me this? A famous magician claims that when he is in the far north, he can point his car north on an ordinary road, drive it for one mile, and without turning around, end up one mile south from where he started. How does he do it?

Einstein then introduces himself to Billy Bob. When Billy Bob tells him that he had an IQ of 143, Eins te i n says, “If you’d like, we can discuss a little mathematics and some philosophy.”

See answer on bottom of the opposite page

Einstein then introduces himself to Bubba and asks, “What was your IQ when you were alive, Bubba?” “56,” says Bubba. Punching him on the arm, Einstein says, “Hey, Bubba, how ‘bout them Cowboys?!”

If Tree Huggers Ran the NFL Denver Broncos: Denver Horses Ridden Abusively By Humans

Miami Dolphins: Miami Noble, Intelligent, and Wise Dolphins

Philadelphia Eagles: Philadelphia Endangered Bald Eagles

Chicago Bears: Chicago Endangered Grizzly Bears

Houston Oilers: Houston Oil-Spilling Well-Drilling Natural Resource Wasters

New York Giants: New York Vertically and Gravitationally Enhanced

Washington Redskins: Washington Native Americans Kansas City Chiefs: Kansas City Native American Leaders

New England Patriots: New England Male Gun-Carrying Tree-Chopping Imperialist Dogs

San Diego Chargers: San Diego Electricity Consumers San Francisco 49ers: San Francisco Gold Profiteers

Minnesota Vikings: Minnesota Furand-Horn-Wearing Pillagers

Dallas Cowboys: Dallas Cattle Murderers and Native American Exploiters

Pittsburgh Steelers: Pittsburgh CoalBurning Smog-Generating Steelers

Green Bay Packers: Green Bay Packers of Dead Abused Animal Flesh

Seattle Seahawks: Seattle Generic Sea Birds, Some of Which Are Endangered

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Tampa Bay Waterborne Murderous Thieves

New Orleans Saints: New Orleans Sanctimonious Morals-Imposers

New York Jets: New York Air-andNoise-Polluting, Bird-Scaring Jets

Buffalo Bills: Buffalo Wild West Show Stars and Cattle Abusers

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015 The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

Tree Trivia 1. What is the official tree of the U.S.? a. American Chestnut b. Gray Birch

4. The tallest tree in the world is a Coast Redwood located in Northern California. How tall is it?

c. Oak

a. 379 ft

d. Hawthorn

b. 590 ft

2. Approximately how many types of trees are there in the world?

b. 2,000

b. Solomon c. Goliath

e. Botanology

d. Jacob’s Ladder

f. Arboristology

b. Oregon

c. Australia

c. New York

7. The science of calculating a tree’s age

d. Ohio 6. The oldest known tree in the world is located somewhere in Inyo National Forest, California. (Its exact location is undis-

 Answers

c. Treehugolagy

d. 1,100 ft

d. 23,000

b. Russia

b. Dendrochronology

a. Methuselah

a. Wyoming

a. U.S.

a. Chlorophyllyzation

c. 734 ft

c. 14,000

3. Which country has the most square miles of forest?

by its rings is known as:

d. Makeitupology because nobodyknowsyourelyingology

5. Which of the following U.S. states has the most trees?

a. 500

d. Brazil

closed to protect it from vandalism. If I found it, I would totally love to hang a “No Mets Parking Here” poster on it.) The tree is 4,789 years old. What is the name of the tree?

 Wisdom Key 6-7 correct: You are a serious tree lover. Let me guess, you tied yourself to a tree to protest it being cut down to build a new hospital, right? 3-5 correct: Not bad. You see? You gained something from those nature walks that your parents forced you to take as a child. 0-2 correct: You could use a little less carbon dioxyde and a little more oxygen... Develop a give-and-take with your local tree and maybe you will do better on the next trivia.

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7. B 6. A 5. B- According to a report published by the USDA Forest Service in 2002, Oregon has the most trees in the U.S. 4. A 3. B- Russia has approximately 3,287,243 square miles of forest. The U.S. comes in fourth place with 872,564 square miles of forest. 2. D 1. C

Answer to Riddle Me This: He drives his car in reverse.

JANUARY 17, 2019 | The Jewish Home

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

Torah Thought

Parshas Beshalach By Rabbi Berel Wein

his week the Torah introduces us to the miraculous heavenly food, the manna that fell from heaven and sustained the Jewish people for 40 years during their sojourn in the Desert of Sinai. This food had miraculous qualities: it could acquire whatever taste the person eating it desired, it produced no waste material, but it had a very lim-

ited shelf life. It could not be stored for the next day and rotted away if not consumed daily. This changed in preparation for the Sabbath, when the second portion collected on Friday in honor of the Sabbath remained fresh, to be eaten on the Sabbath day though the manna fell beforehand. This heavenly food, however, proved to be a source of constant con-

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troversy and tension within the camp of the Jewish people. Despite it being an obvious gift directly from heaven, or perhaps ironically, because it was such an obvious gift from heaven, the Jewish people tended to grumble about it. We will see throughout the narrative of the Jewish people in the Desert of Sinai that there were constant complaints about this heavenly gift. It became the focal point directed against Moshe and the G-d of Israel throughout the years of wandering in the Sinai Desert. There is a streak within human

of the right to eat bread that it is truly earned. When the L-rd gives us free bread, so to speak, we resented it. It is the nature of young children to attempt to do everything by themselves even when they are physically unable to do so and to resent adult interference. Human beings are born with self-confidence and self-reliance. We believe from our youngest years to our old age that we can do it all by ourselves. So, when the Jewish people were presented with a gift of bread from heaven, they resented it for they realized that in this world there truly is no free lunch. That gift

They resented it for they realized that in this world there truly is no free lunch.

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nature that is present regarding unwanted and unasked for gifts. Such gifts always carry with them a sense of responsibility and even an obligation to the donor. In the words of G-d to original man, “You will eat your bread by the sweat of your brow,” there lies not only a curse but also an implicit blessing as well. By earning our bread by working we feel a sense of accomplishment and, more than that,

always comes with obligations and responsibilities, spoken or unspoken, to the one who granted the gift. They remembered the food of Egypt, even though they were slaves because they felt that they had earned it and it was rightfully theirs. The manna that fell from heaven carried with it not only the sense of being a gift, but also the realization that it carried with it duties and obligations. Shabbat shalom.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

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JANUARY 17, 2019 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

From the Fire

Parshas Beshalach/Tu B’Shvat Waiting Until the Time is Ripe By Rav Moshe Weinberger Adapted for publication by Binyomin Wolf

n Shiras Hayam, the Song at the Sea, the pasuk says (Shemos 15:17), “Bring them and plant them in the mountain of their inheritance.” According to the Ibn Ezra on the pasuk, this is a tefillah that when the Jewish people come to Eretz Yisroel they should be “planted” there permanently and not be exiled. He also says that this pasuk is along the same lines as the pasuk in Yechezkel 17:23, “I will plant it on a high mountain, the height of Yisroel and it will bear branches and produce fruit and become a great cedar.” This is not only a prayer for the time of geulah, redemption. It is also our prayer today that our children should be firmly planted, strong, and bear fruit for our people. We also daven that our children will attain that which it talks about in the pasuk (Tehilim 92:13-14), “A tzaddik will bloom like a date palm, he will be strong like a cedar of the Levanon, they shall be planted in the house of Hashem, in the courtyards of our G-d they will blossom.” We all daven that our children will attain closeness with Hashem and be firmly planted in Hashem’s house forever.

It is almost Tu B’Shvat. When the Torah gives the mitzvah of orlah and netah re’vai, the mitzvah not to eat the first three years of fruit of a fruit tree and the mitzvah to bring the fruit from the fourth year to Yerushalayim, the pasuk says (Vayikra 19:23), “When you come to the land, you shall plant every kind of fruit tree, you shall surely block its fruit [from use]; it shall be blocked from you [from use] for three years, not to be eaten.” Therefore, the Torah says that the very first thing the Jewish people must do when they come to Eretz Yisroel is to plant fruit trees. Even before they build yeshivos, shuls, or a mikvah, they must plant fruit trees. We know from the story of the milgarem and the fact that the land is described as “zavas chalav u’dvash, flowing with milk and honey,” that Eretz Yisroel already had delicious fruit. Why then did Hashem command them to plant fruit trees as soon as they arrived in Eretz Yisroel? This mitzvah becomes even more mysterious when we consider the fact that even though they were commanded to plant fruit trees immediately, they were told that

when the trees bear fruit, the fruit is forbidden for the first three years! Why were they told to plant the trees immediately, only to be commanded that the fruit from those trees is forbidden for the first three years? When Hashem created the world, he also planted fruit trees before anything else (Bereishis 2:8), “And Hashem planted a garden in Eden.” Adam and Chava were also told that they had to wait until Shabbos before they could eat from the Eitz Ha’daas Tov V’Rav, the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Had they done so, things would have turned out differently. But they were impatient and could not wait until the proper time because of their desires (Bereishis 3:6), “And the woman saw that the tree was good to eat and was enticing to the eyes.” Perhaps the mitzvah of orlah, the mitzvah not to eat the first three years of fruit from a fruit tree, is a tikkun, a rectification, for the sin of Adam Harishon. Because he couldn’t wait for the proper time to eat from the tree, his children would have to wait to eat from the fruit of the trees of Eretz Yisroel to rectify Adam’s mistake. The Medrash

quoted by the Ramban supports this idea when it says that because Adam could not wait for one hour to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, his children would, among other things, have to wait for three years to eat the fruit of the trees of Eretz Yisroel. Adam and Chava didn’t realize that there is something better than “good fruit,” and that is “as for me, closeness with Hashem is what is good for me” (Tehillim 93:28). By rectifying the sin of Adam and Chava, who did not wait for the fruit in its proper time, the Jewish people learn what it means to grow up. It means that everything has its proper time and things will be truly good if we wait for them in their proper time. Everything in nature goes downward. The force of gravity pulls everything down. But there is one thing in nature that goes against the downward pull and instead grows upward. And that is the tree. It pushes through the hard ground of the winter and grows higher and higher toward the sky. As the pasuk in Devarim 20:19 says, “Man is a tree of the field.” Man is compared

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to a tree in order to show us that we are unique in that we can look at the world from the perspective of spirituality rather than physicality and thereby transcend the physical and also grow upward toward Hashem. Just like a tree, a person should wait to bring forth fruit at the proper time, as it says in the pasuk (Tehillim 1:3), “And you shall be like a tree planted by streams of water which will give fruit in its time.” By waiting until the proper time, the Jewish people can rectify the sin of Adam and Chava. By planting fruit trees, but abstaining from eating the fruit for the first three years, thus removing the orlah, the blockage of physicality, they planted themselves in the house of Hashem. Orlah, blockage, has the same letters as ra’al, poison, because a life ruled by impatience and desire is poison. One Shabbos afternoon around Tu B’Shvat, Rav Moshe Mordechai Lelover was in the Beis Medrash when a man

came over to him and said, “I am a Tu B’Shvat fruit.” Rav Moshe Mordechai smiled and asked him what he meant. The man said that Rav Moshe Mordechai’s uncle, Rav Alter Sosnivtzer, used to travel to Lelov every year for the seventh of Shvat, the yahrtzeit of Rav Dovid Lelover. While he was there, he was accustomed to eating some

announced that he would bless anyone with peiros, fruit (children), if they could bring him some fruit for Tu B’Shvat. There was one older man who had never been able to have children who saw this as his opportunity to finally have his tefillos answered. He somehow braved many dangers and traveled through the snow and was

We must be confident and patient, knowing that the spring isn’t that far away.

dried fruit for Tu B’shvat. One year, the snow was so heavy that the merchants were not able to import any fruit for Tu B’Shvat. Reb Alter was so anxious that a few days before Tu B’Shvat he

e info@pickpurple.org w www.pickpurple.org We now accept clothing, shoes, accessories, linen and towels in usable condition

able to obtain some fruit for the Rebbe for Tu B’Shvat. When he brought it back and gave it to Rav Alter, the Rav was happy but also worried. He had assumed that if anyone found fruit,

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it would be someone younger but this man looked like he was about sixty years old. He therefore spent the whole day deep in prayer at Reb Dovid Leleover’s kever asking that Hashem have mercy on this man. Sure enough, the following Tu B’Shvat he was blessed with a son. So the man told Rav Moshe Mordechai that he was that child, and that is why he was a Tu B’Shvat fruit. We often feel the harsh reality of life and its challenges that are like the snow of winter holding us back. We can fight this and grow higher and higher. We must be confident and patient, knowing that the spring isn’t that far away. May we all merit to bring forth our fruit in its right time and dwell in the house of Hashem in Yerushalayim Ir Hakodesh, b’geulah sheleima, b’m’heira b’yameinu. Amen. Rav Moshe Weinberger, shlita, is the founding Morah d’Asrah of Congregation Aish Kodesh in Woodmere, NY, and serves as leader of the new mechina Emek HaMelech.

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Parsha

in 4

Parshas Beshalach By Eytan Kobre

Weekly Aggada And Moshe stretched his hand over the sea, and G-d caused the sea to go with a strong easterly wind all night, and He placed the sea as dry land, and the water split (Shemos 14:21) This is comparable to a king who had two gardens, one within another (Mechilta d’Rabi Yishmael, Beshalach 4). When the king sold the inner garden and the purchaser came to inspect it, the king’s guard would not permit entry. “I come in the name of the king!”

said the purchaser, but the guard still refused. The purchaser displayed the king’s own seal, and still the guard refused. But when the purchaser brought the king himself, the guard started to flee. The purchaser called out to the guard. “I’ve been requesting entry all day, and you did not accede. Why do you flee now?” “I’m not fleeing from you,” answered the guard. “I’m fleeing from the king.” So, too, Moshe requested that the sea split in the name of G-d, but the sea did not accede. Moshe displayed the Divine staff, and still the sea did

not split...until G-d Himself came with His strength and with His honor, and the sea started to flee. The sea saw and fled (Tehillim 114:3). “I asked you to split in G-d’s name, yet you did not,” Moshe said. “Why now do you flee?” What is with you, sea, that you flee? (Tehillim 114:5) “I’m not fleeing from you,” said the sea, “[but] from the Lord, from before the G-d of Yaakov, Who turned the stone into a pool of water, the rock into a fountain of waters” (Tehillim 114:8).

Weekly Mussar And it was when Pharaoh let the people go, and G-d did not lead them by way of the land of the Philistines, that was near; for G-d said, “Lest the people regret when they see war, and they will return to Egypt” (Shemos 13:17) Trials were not foreign to the generation of Jews who traveled through the desert en route to the Land of Israel; the bitter waters of Marah (Shemos 15:22-27), attack by Amalek (Shemos 17:8-16), lack of water (Shemos 17:17), and other challenges put them to the test time and again. But while G-d challenged the Jewish people in many regards, He would not lead them near the Plishtim because of the possibility that they might regret leaving Egypt and turn back. That G-d chose not to test the Jewish people by leading them past the Plishtim demonstrates, according to the Manchester Rosh Yeshiva (R’ Yehuda Zev Segal; 1910-1993), how G-d’s tests are not arbitrary: He gives us tests we have the ability to pass, but not tests we cannot pass. So, when it came the bitter waters or a lack of water or Amalek, G-d tested us because we had the ability to pass

those tests; when it came to traveling past the Plishtim, however, G-d chose not to test us with the temptation of returning to Egypt, as that test could prove too daunting. That is both comfort and challenge. It is a comfort to know that, if G-d has tested us, we have the ability to succeed in those tests. And yet, G-d’s tests and our ability to pass them also create an obligation and expectation that we do so.

Weekly Halacha There is a custom, on the Shabbos of Parshas Beshalach, to place bread outside for birds to eat. Many explain this custom as a show of gratitude for the birds who – when Dasan and Aviram scattered manna around the Jewish encampment to demonstrate that manna did fall on Shabbos (when Moshe had said it would not) – ate all that manna to preserve the integrity of G-d’s word. There is some dispute as to whether, on Shabbos, one may feed animals that do not depend upon humans for food consumption or whether doing so constitutes an impermissible “tircha yeseira” (overexertion) (see e.g. Ran and Rif, Shabbos 155b; see also Chazon Ish, Orach Chaim 59). Based upon that dispute, while some justify the custom of placing bread outside for birds on the Shabbos of Parshas Beshalach as a show of gratitude (not prohibited “overexertion”) (Aruch HaShulchan 324:3; Kaf HaChaim 324:47; Machatzis HaShekel 324:7; Responsa of Tzitz Eliezer, Vol. 14, No. 28), others disagree and prohibit the practice as an impermissible form of “overexertion” (Magen Avraham 324:7; Mishna Berura 324:31; Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 87:18). To avoid a potential prohibition,

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some suggest placing the bread outside just before the onset of Shabbos, or, alternatively, asking a minor to place the bread outside or shaking a tablecloth with crumbs outside (eruv permitting) (Shemiras Shabbos K’Hilchasa 27:21).

Weekly Anecdote And he said, “If you listen to the voice of Hashem your G-d, and the upright in His eyes you do, and you listen to His commandments, and you guard all His ordinances, all the disease that I placed in Egypt I will not place upon you, for I am G-d, your healer” (Shemos 15:26) A gravely ill man once asked R’ Mordechai of Neshchiz (1740-1800) for a blessing and advice. “Only the professor in the town of Hanipoli can assist you,” said R’ Mordechai. “Go to him.” Now, Hanipoli was quite a dis-

tance away. But R’ Mordechai had told him to seek a cure from the professor in Hanipoli, and that’s what he would do. So the ailing man hired a wagon driver (at considerable expense) and

how about your doctor? Where can I find him?” “We have no doctor here,” came the response. “Perhaps there is a nurse?”

“That’s him!” R’ Mordechai exclaimed. “That’s the professor of Hanipoli!”

made the arduous journey to Hanipoli. Once there, the man made inquiries about the famous professor who would cure him. “Professor?” the townsfolk mocked. “Here in Hanipoli? Surely you jest.” Perhaps he isn’t exactly a professor, thought the ailing man. “Okay,

When that too was answered in the negative, the ailing man threw up his arms in despair. How could R’ Mordechai have erred so completely in his advice? There is no professor here, nor a doctor, nor a nurse. Dejected, he trekked all the way back to R’ Mordechai and sought an explanation. “Tell me, my good man,” replied

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R’ Mordechai, “if there is no professor and no doctor and no nurse in Hanipoli, what do the people of Hanipoli do when they fall ill?” “What do they do?” replied the man. “What can they do? They have no choice but to turn to G-d and trust Him to heal them.” “That’s him! That’s him!” R’ Mordechai exclaimed. “That’s the professor of Hanipoli! And if you turn to Him and place your trust in Him, He will heal you too!” And so it was. The ailing man left R’ Mordechai, placed his trust in G-d, and was soon healed. The Weekly Halacha is not meant for practical purposes and is for discussion purposes only. Please consult your own rav for guidance.

Eytan Kobre is a writer, speaker, and attorney living in Kew Gardens Hills. Questions? Comments? Suggestions? E-mail eakobre@outlook.com.

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JANUARY 17, 2019 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Think, Feel, Grow

Powerful Paradigms The Path Towards Extraordinary By Shmuel Reichman

ou wake up one morning, and suddenly notice that your hands are green. As you pull off your blanket, you see that your legs are green as well. Your heart rate speeds up as you realize that your entire room has turned green too! As you walk around, you’re shocked to see that everything in your house has transformed into the color green. You make your way to work, but time and time again, everything you see has somehow turned green. As you pull up to your office, you pass by a reflection in the mirror, and you stop dead in your tracks – you’re wearing green-tinted glasses. While this story is fictional, it describes a deep spiritual concept: the nature of the human condition. We are all wearing conceptual and spiritual glasses, the lens through which we translate and experience the world around us. However, not all of us realize that we had, and have, the power to choose how we see the world. A scientist might see the world through the lens of science, constantly com-

paring everything to his scientific perception of reality. An athlete or avid sports fan might see everything through the lens of sports, somehow finding a sports analogy for every possible situation. An artist might see the world through the lens of art, perceiving everything by its form, design, and texture. The ideal is for us to wear spiritual glasses as well, to see the world through a Torah lens, and thus, to see the physical world as a reflection of a spiritual reality. In parshas Beshalach, the Jewish people experience the miraculous. Kriyas Yam Suf, the Splitting of the Sea, is the pinnacle of the Jews’ miraculous and transcendent experience. Yet, as the Ramban explains, we must strive to see past the surface, recognizing nature itself as miraculous. Our very existence, the fact that we have air to breathe and the fact that we have the ability to think and feel, are all constant miracles. These types of glasses require constant polishing, constant attention, and constant effort.

We are what we think about; this is one of the deepest truths of life. Whenever you start to think about something, you’ll begin to see it appear in your life as well. Usually, you’ll begin to realize that it has been there all along. As the Torah explains by the story of Hagar, only once Hashem opened her eyes could Hagar finally see the well of water that had been there the whole time (Bereishis 21:19). In your own life, have you ever bought a new shirt and suddenly realized that everyone has that shirt? In truth, people have always had that shirt but in the past you’ve simply filtered this information out, since you weren’t looking for it. Now, however, you’ve begun to focus on this, and therefore, you’ve begun notice what has actually been there the whole time. This is due to the reticular activating system in our brain, a bundle of nerves which filter out all unnecessary information. It is only once you focus on something and deem it important that will you begin to notice

it. Just think about how many times you’ve walked past your neighbor’s house. Do you remember what their front door looks like or how many windows they have? If not, it’s probably because this isn’t very important to you. But if you have to fix your roof and your roofer is asking you about different roofing materials to use, you’ll begin to notice your neighbors’ different roofs. The same is true for spiritual depth; only if you’re looking for it will you find it.

Why Don’t People Become Great? This topic is connected to one of the most important questions in life: why don’t more people become great? So many people get inspired for brief moments but then continue living normal, average lives. What convinces us that we’re just normal and not destined for greatness? Have you ever seen someone extraordinary, whether a talmid chacham, someone will exemplary middos, or someone with an amazing marriage, and thought

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019 The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

to yourself, “Wouldn’t it be amazing if I could become great like that as well?!” You might have even begun to imagine what your life would be like if you could achieve something like this. So what happens? Why don’t we act on it? The answer is simple: we don’t have the empowering identity, the self-perception, to create a life of greatness. After all, what usually happens when we have that brief moment of inspiration, when we imagine a greater version of ourselves? A small voice, the yetzer hara, creeps out from the back of our minds, and whispers, “Who are you kidding? What makes you think you can do that? Have you ever done something like this before?! You’re not cut out for that kind of life – you’re just normal, average!” You then reinforce your un-empowering identity, and let the inspiration fade. Yet, there is a way to prevent this from happening. If you understand the power of self-perception, of identity, then you will realize that you don’t have to repeat your past. You can begin writing a new chapter in the story of your life. As the saying goes, “History is being read, but it’s also being written by people with imagination.” You can write the next chapter in the story of your life! The key to doing so is by understanding the power of identity. We live our identity. Or, in other words, we live our musts, our standards. Everyone has things that they want to do: we want to learn more Torah, have a deeper connection with Hashem, develop better middos, build better relationships, create financial success, and have healthier bodies. But we don’t get what we want, we get what we need. We need to eat, we need to breathe, and until we need to create all these other things, they’re going to remain on our wish list forever. The only way to change something from a want to a need is to change your identity! Only by raising your standards and creating a growth-oriented identity can you shift your life towards greatness. An athlete looks at himself in the mirror, and sees an athlete. This requires him to live a certain lifestyle, have a specific exercise regimen, a unique diet, and a required amount of sleep every night. A talmid cha-

cham looks in the mirror, and sees a talmid chacham. This requires him to constantly learn Torah, grow in his avodas Hashem, and help others. We all have an identity, but not all of us chose it. Many of us were given our identities by our parents, friends, or teachers. The key to life is becoming self-aware enough to choose and cre-

you think and the way you perceive reality, as well as your place within it, then you can change your life! As the saying goes, “If you always think the way you’ve always thought, then you’ll always do what you’ve always done, and then you’ll always be who you’ve always been.” The battleground is in your mind. If you can change your

The only way to change something from a want to a need is a change your identity.

ate your own identity, an empowering identity which will push you to maximize your potential and become the greatest imaginable version of you! Tying everything together, the Ba’alei Machshava describe the three step process of the human experience: 1. Your thoughts are the initial stage 2. The way you think then determines how you feel and experience life 3. The way you feel affects how you act and live When used in the positive sense, this can be empowering: if you think Hashem loves you, you’ll feel really close to Him, and you’ll live a life of Torah and mitzvos. If you think you’re a spiritual being, you’ll feel holy, and you’ll live a spiritual life. If you think you’re destined for greatness, you’ll feel great, and you’ll live a great life. However, when used in the negative sense, this can be un-empowering and destructive: if you think Hashem hates you, you’ll feel really distant from Him, and you’ll live a life of depression. If you think you’re a physical and lowly being, you’ll feel unholy, and you’ll live an unspiritual life. If you think you’re destined for nothing, you’ll feel insignificant, and you’ll live a meaningless life. We’ve developed the principle stating that how you think affects how you feel, which then affects how you live. The key, then, to living a great life is changing and rewiring how you think. If you can change the way

mind and change your perceptions, then you can change your entire life! This is one of the goals of learning Torah: to change your mind and to help you see the world through a spiritual lens, to help you live Torah. In a nutshell, learning Torah is about learning what Hashem wants, tefil-

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lah is about wanting what Hashem wants, and performing mitzvos are about living what Hashem wants. This column will be about creating deeper perceptions of reality and learning to see the world through a Torah lens, a spiritual lens. This is also why the column is called, “Think. Feel. Grow.” It reflects the three stages we just talked about: the way you think affects the way you feel, which will then hopefully help you grow, and live a greater life. I look forward to embarking on this journey of growth with you and building a deeper perception of Hashem, ourselves, and the world we live in.

Shmuel Reichman is an inspirational speaker who has spoken internationally at shuls, conferences, and in Jewish communities. You can find more inspirational shiurim, videos, and articles from Shmuel on Facebook and Yutorah. org. For all questions, thoughts, or bookings, please email shmuelreichman678@ gmail.com.

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My Israel Home

How To: Buy an Apartment on Paper By Gedaliah Borvick

Photo credit Gedaliah Borvick

Recently completed Savyoney Arnona

Based on reader requests, we are running a series of “how to” articles that focus on various aspects of purchasing a home in Israel.

e are involved in property sales throughout Israel, many of which are of existing homes. However, since demand for quality housing greatly outstrips supply, hundreds of our clients have purchased not-yet-built apartments, which is known as buying “on paper” or “off plan.” The goal of this article is to help you understand the process of buying on paper.

Three Construction Stages The construction process is comprised of the following three stages: Stage One: “Pre-Construction” is the stage before the developer receives the final building permit, and sales usually begin at this point. The initial plans will frequently be altered in the final building permit, which is often received after the first

The Royal Penthouse in the Meier-on-Rothschild Tower in Tel Aviv

contracts have been signed. However, a good attorney will insert a contract clause permitting the buyer to drop the deal and recoup their deposit if, in the final building permit, there are any material changes to the purchased unit. Despite this stage being fraught with many uncertainties, there are big advantages in buying early, including the opportunity to cut the best financial deals, choose the finest units, and revise the floor plans at no, or limited, additional cost. Stage Two: If you purchase an apartment “During Construction,” you might not have as much flexibility as “Pre-Construction.” Some developers will not allow changes after the plumbing, electric and walls have been installed, while others allow changes, subject to the purchaser covering the cost to tear down and then rebuild the space. Stage Three: If you buy “Towards Completion of Construction,” most developers will not allow changes

to the plans. Only after receiving the keys to your apartment will you hire a contractor to make any desired changes.

Types of Changes The three areas where one can make changes are in (1) the floor plans; (2) selecting finishes, such as tiles, kitchen cabinets and bathroom fixtures; and (3) completing the fine finishes, such as light fixtures. Floor Plans: If you purchase an apartment early in the construction process and want to make changes, in most cases you will need to hire a professional designer/architect who will receive construction plans from the builder, determine with you the best layout for your needs, and then draw wall division plans plus plumbing and electric plans. After approving the technical plans, the builder will give you a price quote. Most developers will not charge for making pre-construction changes unless you increase quantities, such as adding

doors or electrical outlets. Selecting Finishes: The builder will provide you with a list of suppliers and their contact information. Even if it is too late to make floor plan changes, buyers will usually be able to choose their finishes. You or your designer will contact the suppliers for all the items – including kitchen cabinets, flooring, air conditioners, and faucets – and schedule appointments in their showrooms to select the finishes. If you choose from the standard finishes that are offered, you will not incur any charges. Most purchasers, though, will upgrade their kitchens and possibly also the tiles and air conditioning system. If you upgrade any of the finishes, you will receive a credit for the standard items that you did not buy, which can be applied toward purchasing upgrades. The credit amount that you will receive is the developer’s actual cost, which is minuscule compared to its market value because the developer, who buys in

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015 The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

bulk, receives deep discounts. If you decide to hire a private carpenter and not use the developerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s kitchen cabinet suppliers, the builder can do all the electrical and plumbing preparations; however, for insurance and legal reasons, the kitchen will not be installed until after you receive the apartment. If one buys an apartment as an investment, we highly recommend choosing the standard items, as the upgraded finishes will not generate a significantly higher rent. Similarly, if oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s goal is to eventually use the apartment but to initially rent it out, we advise to buy the standard finishes and upgrade later, as tenants typically do not treat the unit with the same kid gloves as would an owner. Fine Finishes: The developer does not provide light fixtures, appliances, or bedroom closets. These items, plus other finishes such as furniture and window treatments, may only be delivered and installed after receiving the keys to your new apartment.

If you plan on renting out the apartment, you can disregard this section altogether, as your tenant will bring their own appliances, closets, and furniture.

ing on the developer, either make subsequent payments as the builder achieves construction milestones or make one large payment at the end. The unpaid portion of the purchase

There are big advantages in buying early, including the opportunity to cut the best financial deals, choose the finest units, and revise the floor plans at no, or limited, additional cost.

Building Construction Index When buying on paper, you will make a down payment upon contract execution and then, depend-

price is subject to the building construction index, which has fluctuated from as low as under 1% per annum for most of the past half-decade to as high as 4% ten years ago. One can

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limit this risk by front-loading most of the payments, which is safeguarded by a bank guarantee â&#x20AC;&#x201C; in essence, an insurance policy to protect you should the builder go bankrupt. Buying on paper can be a wonderful opportunity. Hopefully this article clarified the process and armed you with knowledge to help you make informed decisions. Disclaimer: The article above is for informational purposes only, and should not be used in place of using legal counsel and hiring professionals to carry out all due diligence, including reviewing all legal and planning issues, prior to purchasing an apartment.

Gedaliah Borvick is the founder of My Israel Home (www.myisraelhome.com), a real estate agency focused on helping people from abroad buy and sell homes in Israel. To sign up for his monthly market updates, contact him at gborvick@ gmail.com.

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New York , New Yorrkk!! Places to Go, Things to Do

Start spreading the news! New York is tons of fun – even in the cold winter months. Here are some great ideas of activities and trips to take this midwinter vacation. Don’t let a few below-zero temperatures keep you from venturing outside. Bundle up – we’re fierce New Yorkers, after all – and enjoy all that New York has to offer.

Indoor Fun Parks Legoland Discovery Center 39 Fitzgerald Street Yonkers, NY 10701 866-243-0779 Fun Fuzion at New Roc City 19 LeCount Place New Rochelle, NY 10801 914-637-7575 Skyzone 33 Lecount Place New Rochelle, NY 10801 914-740-8272 Fun Station USA 40 Rocklyn Avenue Lynbrook, NY 11563 516-599-7757

@Play 229 Route 110 Farmingdale, NY 11735 631-815-5355

Chelsea Piers Hudson River—Piers 59-62 New York, NY 212-336-6800

Bounce U of Oceanside 3495B Lawson Blvd Oceanside, NY 11572 516-593-5867

Trapeze School NY 467 Marcy Ave Brooklyn, NY 11206 212-242-8769

Bounce U of Brooklyn 6722 Fort Hamilton Pkwy, 2nd Fl Brooklyn, NY 11219 347-450-5867

Woodmere Lanes 948 Broadway Woodmere, NY 11598 516-374-9870

Laser Bounce 2710 Hempstead Turnpike Levittown, NY 11756 516-881-9620 Brooklyn Boulders 575 Degraw Street Brooklyn, NY 11217 347-834-9066 MetroRock Brooklyn 321 Starr Street Brooklyn, NY 11237 929-500-7625 Air Trampoline Sports 1850 Lakeland Avenue Ronkonkoma, NY 11779 631-619-6000 Launch Trampoline Park 163-50 Cross Bay Blvd Queens, NY 11414 718-593-4204

Glow Golf Roosevelt Field Mall Garden City, NY 11530 516-747-3682 Gulliver’s Gate 216 W 44 Street New York, NY 10036 212-235-2016 Smith Point Archery 215 E Main Street Patchogue, NY 11772 631-289-3399 VR World NYC 4 East 34 Street New York, NY 10016 646-578-9630 National Geographic Encounter 226 West 44 Street New York, NY 10036 646-308-1337

Funfest Bowling 6161 Strickland Avenue Brooklyn, NY 11234 718-763-6800

Something Different Puppetworks 338 6th Avenue Park Slope, NY 11215 718-965-3391 Make It Too 86 Cedarhurst Ave Cedarhurst, NY 11516 516-341-7660 Build a Bear Roosevelt Field Mall 630 Old Country Road Garden City, NY 11530 516-248-0027

TheJewish JewishHome Home| |OCTOBER JANUARY29, 17, 2015 2019 The

Artrageous Studio 5 N Village Ave Rockville Centre, NY 11570 516-255-5255 Once Upon a Dish 659 Franklin Ave Garden City, NY 11530 516-742-6030 Color Me Mine 123 Baxter St New York, NY 10013 212-374-1710 Brooklyn Clay Industries 63 Flushing Avenue Building 62, Studio 306 Brooklyn, NY 11205 301-395-0143

New York Hall of Science 47-01 111th Street Corona, NY 11368 718-699-0005 Jewish Museum 1109 Fifth Avenue New York, NY 10128 212-423-3200 Long Island Children’s Museum 11 Davis Avenue Garden City, NY 11530 516-224-5800

La Mano Pottery 110 West 26 Street New York, NY 10001 212-627-9450 Taro’s Origami Studio 95 7th Avenue, 2nd Fl Brooklyn, NY 11215 718-360-5435

Museums Intrepid Sea, Air and Space Museum Pier 86, 12th Avenue and 46th Street New York, NY 10036 212-245-0072 9/11 Memorial and Museum 200 Liberty Street New York, NY 10006 212-266-5211 Skyscape 928 8th Avenue New York, NY 10019 212-549-1941

Brooklyn Children’s Museum 145 Brooklyn Avenue Brooklyn, NY 11213 718-735-4400 Jewish Children’s Museum 792 Eastern Parkway Brooklyn, NY 11213 718-467-0600

Children’s Museum of Manhattan 212 W 83rd St New York, NY 10024 212-721-1234 American Museum of Natural History Central Park West at 79th Street New York, NY 10024 212-769-5100 Museum of Illusions 77 Eighth Avenue New York, NY 10014 212-645-3230

National Museum of Mathematics 11 East 26 Street New York, NY 10010 212-542-0566 Liberty Science Center Liberty State Park 222 Jersey City Boulevard Jersey City, NJ 07305 201-200-1000

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JANUARY OCTOBER17, 29,2019 2015| |The TheJewish JewishHome Home

Crayola Factory 30 Centre Square Easton, PA 18042 1-866-875-5263

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Long Beach Ice Arena 150 W. Bay Drive Long Beach, NY 11561 516-705-7385 Ice Skating at Grant Park Broadway and Sheridan Avenue Hewlett, NY 11557 516-571-7821 Aviator Ice Rinks 3159 Flatbush Avenue Brooklyn, NY 11234 718-758-7500

Lefrak Center at Prospect Park 171 East Drive Brooklyn, New York 11225 718-462-0010 City Ice Pavilion 47-32 32nd Place Long Island City, NY 11101 718-706-6667 Wollman Rink in Central Park 830 Fifth Ave New York, NY 10065 212-439-6900 The Rink at Rockefeller Center 600 5th Avenue New York, NY 10020 212-332-7654 The Rink at Bryant Park Between 40th and 42nd streets & 5th Ave New York, NY 10018 212-661-6640

Sky Rink at Chelsea Piers Pier 61-23rd Street and Hudson River Park New York, NY 10011 212-336-6100 TJH is not responsible for the kashrus, atmosphere, appropriateness, or accuracy of information of any establishment listed. Please call before you go to ensure an optimal experience. Enjoy!

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OCTOBER 29,2019 2015 || The The Jewish Jewish Home Home JANUARY 17,

Home Sweet Home By Susan Schwamm

Explore the City

Time off from school gives us time

to spend with our family and friends and time to explore the magical city

of New York.

There is so much to

do here to keep us occupied for days

on end.

Don’t let the cold deter you

– bundle up, catch a train or grab your keys, and head out for a day of fun!

Sweating with the “ Youngies”

Don’t spend your days cooped up on the couch. Get moving – and get your kids to move with you. Plan an “exercise day” with the kids that includes exercise videos, jump rope, and calisthenics. Make sure there’s plenty of water, sports drinks, and power bars to power you through. Lunch needs a variety of smoothies to round out the fun. For even more excitement, let each child “instruct” their own class. Give them parameters of what each class entails – kickboxing, aerobics, yoga, ballet – and how long it can be. Pump up the music, and have fun!

Sometimes it’s the little things that make the best trips. Going on the LIRR is a real treat for kids. Take the railroad to Penn Station, hop on a train to Times Square, and prepare to be overwhelmed! There is so much to see in Times Square, but with kids along, it’s best to head to an enclosed place that’s really fun. Consider the Disney Store (open ‘til 1a.m.!) or M&M’s World, where they can marvel at a 17-foot-tall Miss Green M&M’s Statue of Liberty and be surrounded by chocolatey goodness. For older children, you can get tickets to be a part of the audience at a show nearby like the Rachael Ray Show or the Stephen Colbert Show. You need to order the tickets in advance, though. Other Times Square attractions include Ripley’s Believe It or Not!, Madame Tussauds, National Geographic Ocean Odyssey, and OMEscape. (Check out our New York guide for more amazing ideas.) Make sure to treat the kids to some pizza for lunch – there’s nothing like a hot slice of this delicious cuisine made right in the Big Apple.

Behind the Scenes

Kids are naturally curious and inquisitive. Did you know that there are many places in New York City that feature behind-the-scenes tours? At the Radio City Stage Door Tour, kids can visit the rehearsal hall, the lighting booth, and the dressing rooms. At the Tour at NBC Studios, they can produce their own mini-show and take it home. For those more cultured folks, the Metropolitan Opera Guild’s Backstage Tours include a peek into the lights, costumes and sets not generally accessible to the general public. For those who love baseball, check out the NY Yankee Stadium Tour or the NY Mets Citifield Tour, where you’ll be able to see the clubhouse, the dugout, the press box, and the Hall of Fame. Since New York is almost synonymous with its (in)famous subways, why not spend some time underground? The three-hour tour of NYC’s subways’ art departs at 51 Street and Broadway (www.nycsubwaytour.com). Speaking of subways, a tour of Grand Central Terminal will surely turn heads as kids gaze around the busy, indoor rotunda. For lunch, consider Mendy’s, located at the lower level of the concourse at Grand Central Station.

Top of the Rock The Rockefeller Center area is a great place to stroll around with the family. Take a trip to the “Top of the Rock” to view the city. Spend time looking at the ice skaters spinning around the famous rink. Your little ones will love a trip to the Build a Bear Workshop or American Girl Place, and your teens will enjoy spending time at stores like Saks Fifth Avenue, the Apple Store, and United Colors of Benetton. Café K and Wolf & Lamb are located right there if you want to top off your day with lunch or dinner.

TheJewish JewishHome Home||OCTOBER JANUARY 29, 17, 2015 2019 The

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The Cutting Edge With temperatures like we have now, ice skating is a perfect activity. Layer on the sweatshirts and leggings, and bring out the gloves and hats. This trip is great for all ages – the young ones love trying out their new skates and the older ones can’t wait to show off their triple axles and toe loops. Hey, for even more fun, search for different figure skating moves on the web before starting your trip – you’ll be surprised how many there are out there and it will provide fodder for fun conversation in the car.

Home for the Day After quite a few hours in the car, perhaps a day at home is tempting. Vacations are a wonderful time to learn a new craft or perfect a recipe that you’ve always wanted to try. Check out Michael’s or Target for craft projects – needlepoint, painting, scrapbooking, DIY – that can keep the kids busy. Inviting them along to the store will whet their appetite for what’s to come ahead. Your daughter (or son) may love looking through cookbooks and trying out new recipes. Spend some time deciding on a menu and then enjoy time together in the kitchen as you put together a four-course meal for dinner – or even lunch! And what about all those photos you have laying around? Vacation is perfect for putting together your photo albums, and kids’ little fingers are perfect for slotting photos into small spots. Laughter is guaranteed as they walk through memory lane – and remember that awful haircut from three years ago.

Bridging the Past to the Future

This is a perfect place to give your family a living history lesson on the Jews of the Lower East Side. Take the car or the train and spend the day walking around the Lower East Side and Canal Street. A trip here may require a little preparation, but children will love what the area has to offer. Sadly, the kosher restaurants down there are no longer open, but you can catch a Mincha in a shul with much history. Just a few blocks away, at Canal Street, the streets are bustling with street vendors hawking “real” Chanel purses and Hello Kitty pencils. There are many fruit stores here that sell delicious fruit – some of which are not sold in the stores around here – so maybe you can enjoy a banana for lunch. For a real experience, try a durian, which is called the “king of fruits” in Southeast Asia. Its taste is cloyingly sweet although its smell is considered by some to be so noxious that it has been banned on trains in some Asian countries.

Central Park Fun Central Park is almost a city of its own. Even in the winter, depending on the temperatures, the park is still a great place to spend time with the family. My husband and I once took the kids there one Sunday – just to let them run around one of the playgrounds there. My son and daughter thought it was the best trip ever! Ice skating here is majestic as the tall Manhattan buildings surround you from way up high. And if the weather is nice, explore the zoo, check out the park’s 29 sculptures, or bring a football and have the kids run around the grass. The vastness of the Park is exhilarating!

Sleepover Spa School nights are not always the best nights for sleepovers, but now that vacation is here, invite over some friends, plan some games and order in takeout. Board games, a treasure hunt, a “day at the spa,” and relay races are all fun activities. Put on some dance music and have the girls create their own “Zumba” video. Raid the candy cabinet and pop some popcorn – it’s going to be a long night! TJH takes no responsibility for the accuracy, kashrus, or details of the information provided. Please make sure to call before heading out to ensure a truly wonderful time!

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JANUARY 17, OCTOBER 29,2019 2015 || The The Jewish Jewish Home Home

FLORIDA

DINING GUIDE FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE ENJOYING TIME OFF IN SUNNY FLORIDA, WE MISS YOU. BUT IN BETWEEN WALKS ON THE BOARDWALK AND LAPS IN THE POOL, MAKE SURE TO CHECK OUT THESE WONDERFUL RESTAURANTS FOR LUNCH OR DINNER (OR ANYTIME IN BETWEEN!). CALL BEFORE YOU GO; THESE PLACES FILL UP FAST! 26 SUSHI & TAPAS 9487 Harding Avenue Surfside, FL 33154 (305) 570-2626

BAKETORY 7160 Beracasa Way Boca Raton, FL 33433 (561) 672-7606

CAFÉ EMUNAH 3558 N Ocean Blvd Fort Lauderdale, FL 33308 (954) 561-6411

CHAI WOK 233 95 Street Surfside, FL 33154 (786) 245-5557

ACQUA TRATTORIA 3565 NE 207th St, Suite A11 Miami, FL 33180 (305) 690-7103

BEYOND BY SHEMTOV’S 514 41st Street Miami Beach, FL 33140 (305) 538-2123

CAFÉ VERT 9490 Harding Ave Surfside, FL 33154 (305) 867-3151

CHILL ‘N GRILL PITA 7158 Beracasa Way Boca Raton, FL 33433 (561) 717-6968

ASIA BOCA RATON 7600 W. Camino Real (off Powerline Rd.) Boca Raton, FL 33433 (561) 544-8100

BLAZE TEX-MEX BBQ 2520 NE 186th St Miami, FL 33180 (305) 914-4644

CAPRI SUSHI & ITALIAN 726 41st Street Miami Beach, FL 33140 (305) 534-0551

CHINA BEACH 3919 Alton Rd Miami Beach, FL 33140 (305) 534-3034

BOCA GRILL 8903 Glades Road, Suite G9 Boca Raton, FL 33434 (561) 419-8434

CARLOS & GABBY’S MIAMI 740 41st Street Miami Beach, FL 33140 (786) 276-1212

CHINA BISTRO 5650 Stirling Rd Hollywood, FL 33021 (954) 505-4729

BOCA KOSHER BAGEL 21065 Powerline Rd Boca Raton, FL 33433 (561) 245-8363

CENTURY GRILL 9060 Kimberly Blvd Boca Raton, FL 33434 (561) 571-6144

CINE CITTA CAFE 9544 Harding Avenue Surfside, FL 33154 (305) 866-8688

BUTCHER BLOCK GRILL 7000 West Camino Real Boca Raton, FL 334344 (561) 409-3035

CHAI WOK 1688 NE 164th Street N. Miami Beach, FL 33162 (305) 705-2110

CINNAHOLIC 141 NW 20 St Boca Raton, FL 33433 (561) 617-7277

BACKYARD BBQ AND BREW 9460 Harding Ave Surfside, FL 33154 (305) 763-8818 BAGEL TIME 3915 Alton Road Miami Beach, FL 33140 (305) 538-0300 BAGEL WAY AND PIZZA 1600 NE 163 St North Miami Beach, FL 33162 (305) 974-2629

TheJewish JewishHome Home||OCTOBER JANUARY 29, 17, 2015 2019 The

DITMAS BOCA RATON 21077 Powerline Road Boca Raton, FL 33433 (561) 826-8875

HARBOUR GRILL 9415 Harding Ave Surfside, FL 33154 (305) 861-0787

LENNY’S PIZZA 544 41st Street Miami Beach, FL 33140 (305) 397-8395

PITA HUT MIAMI BEACH 530 41st Street Miami Beach, FL 33140 (305) 531-6090

DIXIE BBQ 18798 West Dixie Highway Miami, FL 33180 (305)760-2620

HOLY BAGELS & PIZZERIA 15903 Biscayne Blvd North Aventura, FL 33160 (305) 940-4402

LEVY’S KOSHER 3369 Sheridan St Hollywood, FL 33021 (954) 983-2825

PITA HUT NORTH MIAMI BEACH 18450 West Dixie Hwy North Miami Beach, FL 33160 (305) 792-0821

DUNKIN DONUTS 3951 Stirling Road Hollywood, FL 33314 (954) 842-3719

HOLY BAGELS & PIZZERIA 93 NW 1st St Miami, FL 33128 (305) 961-7878

MIZRACHI’S PIZZA KITCHEN 5650 Stirling Rd Hollywood, FL 33021 (954) 505-3190

FLORIDA GRILL STEAKHOUSE 4299 Collins Avenue Miami, FL 33140 (305) 535-6077

HUMMUS FACTORY 2790 Stirling Rd Hollywood, FL 33020 (954) 927-3225

MONTEFIORE CAFÉ 4017 Prairie Ave Miami Beach, FL 33140 (305) 538-4770

FOOZO ARTISAN PIZZA 2520 NE 186 Street North Miami, FL 33180 (305) 682-9692

JERUSALEM PIZZA 761 NE 167 St Miami, FL 33162 (305) 653-6662

MOZART CAFE BOCA RATON 7300 W Camino Real Boca Raton, FL 33433 (561) 367-3412

FRESKO 19048 NE 29 Avenue Aventura, FL 33180 (786) 272-3737

JON’S PLACE 22191 Powerline Rd Boca Raton, FL 33433 (561) 338-0008

MOZART CAFÉ 4433 Stirling Rd Hollywood, FL 33021 (954) 584-5171

FUEGO BY MANA 3585 NE 207 Street Aventura, FL 33180 (786) 520-4082

KIKAR TEL AVIV 5005 Collins Avenue Miami Beach, FL 33140 (305) 866-3316

MOZART CAFÉ SUNNY ISLES 18110 Collins Avenue Sunny Isles, FL 33160 (305) 974-0103

GRAND CAFE ESPRESSO BAR 2905 Stirling Rd Hollywood, FL 33312 (954) 986-6860

KOSH MIAMI 9477 Harding Ave Surfside, FL 33154 (305) 763-8601

MOZART GRILL 18120 Collins Avenue Sunny Isles, FL 33160 (305) 974-0098

GRILL HOUSE 976 41st Street (off Alton Road) Miami Beach, FL 33140 (305) 674-9005

KRUDO 17092 West Dixie Highway North Miami Beach, FL 33160 (786) 440-5483

NOMA 18851 NE 29 Ave Aventura, FL 33180 (305) 974-0288

L’CHAIM ASIAN RESTAURANT 4000 N 46th Ave Hollywood, FL 33021 (954) 362-0777

ORCHIDS GARDEN 9045 La Fontana Blvd Boca Raton, FL 33434 (561) 482-3831

GRILL TIME 16145 Biscayne Blvd (just south of 163rd Street) N Miami, FL 33160 (786) 274-8935

PITA LOCA 601 Collins Ave, #5 Miami Beach, FL 33139 (305) 673-3388 PITA STAR 5800 Stirling Rd Hollywood, FL 33021 (954) 981-7710 PITA XPRESS 3000 Stirling Rd, Ste 116 Hollywood, FL 33021 (954) 251-1799 PRIME 41 4101 Pine Tree Dr Miami Beach, FL 33140 (305) 532-7273 RAMONA’S 19785 Hampton Dr Boca Raton, FL 33434 (561) 419-7523 RAW POKE BAR 1304 E Las Olas Boulevard Fort Lauderdale, FL 33301 (954) 903-7752 RED HOOK BAKERS 3000 Stirling Rd Hollywood, FL 33021 (754) 400-7275 RUSTIKO 9476 Harding Ave Surfside, FL 33154 (305) 560-5650

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JANUARY 17, 2019 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

SARA’S PIZZA 3944 N 46 St Hollywood, FL 33021 (954) 986-1770

SERENDIPITY YOGURT CAFÉ 9457 Harding Ave Surfside, FL 33154 (305) 865-1506

SOHO DELI 19010 NE 29th Avenue Aventura, FL 33180 (305) 931-8883

THE CARROT 9519 Harding Avenue Surfside, FL 33154 (786) 216-7355

SEVENTEEN RESTAURANT 1710 Alton Rd Miami Beach, FL 33139 (305) 672-0565

SHALOM HAIFA 18533 West Dixie Highway Aventura, FL 33183 (305) 936-1800

SUBRES GRILL 2218 NE 123rd Street North Miami, FL 33181 (305) 899-0095

YOGURT RENDEZVOUS 7150 Beracasa Way Boca Raton, FL 33433 (561) 392-8384

SEVENTEEN RESTAURANT N. MIAMI BEACH 1129 NE 163 St North Miami Beach, FL 33162 (305) 454-9100

SOHO ASIAN BAR AND GRILL 19004 NE 29th Avenue Aventura, FL 33180 (305) 466-5656

TASTY BEACH CAFÉ 4041 Royal Palm Ave Miami Beach, FL 33140 (305) 673-5483

YUM BERRY CAFÉ 4009 Oakwood Blvd Hollywood, FL 33020 (954) 922-7876

TJH IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE KASHRUS, ATMOSPHERE, OR ACCURACY OF INFORMATION OF ANY ESTABLISHMENT LISTED. PLEASE CHECK BEFORE YOU GO TO ENSURE A PLEASANT EXPERIENCE. BON APPETIT!

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

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JANUARY 17, 2019 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Dating Dialogue

What Would You Do If… Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW of The Navidaters

Dear Navidaters,

I’m a 22-year-old young man who is first starting to date now. I felt I needed more time to mature before dating. What I’m saying is that I never felt like the most mature guy in the world.

I am close to my rebbe who has taken on a mission, it seems, to encourage his bochurim to go out with older women. It seems to be his passion, something he’s taken on to help out the shidduch crisis. I count on him a lot to steer me in the right direction, and I also thought he would be someone who would actually bring me (and my parents) prospects to date. The fact is that the thought of going out with someone older than me feels so wrong! I know a few of my friends have tried it, some with success. But the thought of it makes me feel like I would be going out with an older sister. As it is, I never felt like the most mature guy in the room. I’m getting a lot of pressure right now to be open to it, see how it goes. But I’m having really strong reactions to the whole thing. I don’t want to let down my rebbe by not “getting with the program,” but my feelings are so powerful they are hard to ignore. Am I missing something? Is there something selfish or wrong with me that I’m not willing to help out the “shidduch crisis” by being more open to this idea? Honestly, I am feeling a little ashamed of myself.

Disclaimer: This column is not intended to diagnose or otherwise conclude resolutions to any questions.

Our intention is not to offer any definitive

conclusions to any particular question, rather offer areas of exploration for the author and reader. Due to the nature of the column receiving only a short snapshot of an issue, without the benefit of an actual discussion, the panel’s role is to offer a range of possibilities. We hope to open up meaningful dialogue and individual exploration.

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015 The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

61 93

The Panel The Rebbetzin Rebbetzin Faigie Horowitz, M.S. he various initiatives that encourage young men to date when they are 21 if they’re ready and to date older young women are meant to help the shidduch crisis in our community. The statistics connected with single women being pushed out of the pool of daters are behind it. People and projects have promoted awareness of the importance of dating older girls. However, if you do not feel ready for it and you are uncomfortable, discuss it with your rebbe. Tell him your reasons and share the specifics of your discomfort. If your relationship is as close as it seems, he will understand when you say you don’t feel mature enough now and don’t want to date older girls. Your rebbe may feel a sense of mission about the shidduch crisis but as a mentor and guide he knows that everyone is different. And although we may have new awareness about community needs, shidduchim are an individual matter. It’s about each person and their makeup. Think about what you just did in this query. You asked the Navidaters’ panel to weigh in because you are hesitating to tell your mentor how you feel. Why couldn’t you do that on your own? Listening to yourself and being self-aware about your maturity is one level. Doing something about it is a second level. Lack of assertiveness might be one thing for you to explore. In what other areas do you feel lacking in maturity? What are you doing about it? Discuss this with your rebbe and ask for direction to help remedy this. You will feel more confident and competent after going for assistance and support. Help – whether from a dating coach, therapist, social skills expert – is an easy option. But you need to identify your weak areas honestly and share them with

your mentor and the person you work with. Communicate!

The Mother Sarah Schwartz Schreiber, P.A. t’s a scourge, it’s a calamity, and it’s a tidal wave. I’m referring to the Shidduch Crisis – a contemporary issue, labeled about twenty years ago by Orthodox activists and their rabbis. The Crisis, which has sent shockwaves and panic throughout the Orthodox community, has been attributed to various factors, including the following two realities. First, the rapid population growth across the Orthodox, non-chassidish spectrum (estimated at 3% a year). And then there’s the age gap – the marriage-age differential that exists between the 19-year-old ready-to-date young woman and the 22.5-year old, fouryear-post-high-school yeshiva bochur who courageously enters the parsha. According to a more recent initiative/project – launched in 2011 by a handful of concerned rabbis working with actuaries – the “crisis” can be alleviated if guys dated earlier or were paired with older women. Evidently, your rebbe has wholeheartedly endorsed this initiative and is deploying his troops, his “bochurim,” to serve on the front lines. Can dating “older” eradicate a complicated, multi-factorial issue of crisis proportions? The jury’s still out. In the meantime, you are a statistic of One. As you enter the parsha, it’s your feelings, your choices, and your comfort level that transcend the needs of the greater good. Kudos to you for listening to your gut and not submitting to another’s pressure or “program,” no matter how well-intentioned. Should your rebbe continue to push his agenda, seek the guidance and support of

As a mental health professional within this society and culture, it is my duty to share that adolescence and marriage often don’t mix.

another rav who is more likely to respect your preferences in shidduchim. Rest assured, whomever you marry – whether she’s younger, older, in or out of the box – you will be doing your share to help relieve the Shidduch Crisis.

The Shadchan Michelle Mond ou begin your letter by talking about how you are not very sure of yourself from a maturity perspective. You then reiterate later on in your letter that you “have never been the most mature.” To be honest, my first reaction to your letter is that this whole quandary has been staged by someone who believes guys should not be dating at a young age because they can’t think for themselves. Despite my initial intuition, I will respond in the rare case that this is an actual conundrum. My question to you is, are you even ready to date altogether? Do you feel mature enough to take on the role of being a husband/provider/ father? You do realize that getting married is a huge responsibility, right? If the answer is no, and you’ve been pressured to start dating altogether, take a step back and only begin when you feel mature enough to take on these important roles. If you do feel mature enough to get married, however, and don’t feel ready to date older women yet, you may read on. Your rebbe should not put pressure on you to do anything you are uncomfortable with. I understand you are close, but someone else’s agenda should not be pushed on you. To me, that indicates an unhealthy relationship. There are many men who believe that age is just a number and are happy to date a woman who is older. I truly be-

lieve age is just a number as well, but this is your decision. Be assertive and confident about what you are looking for; you will be taken more seriously in general.

The Single Tova Wein think it takes a certain amount of maturity and confidence to even consider dating, and I’m wondering whether you presently have reached either of those milestones. Your letter sounds kind of immature, and worse, you sound as though you don’t feel as though your voice matters at all and despite your feelings you are allowing your rebbe to tell you what is best for you, even though it feels all wrong. I would suggest you first think about whether or not dating at this age is right for you. I’m sure many of your friends have started already, but many 22-year-old young men are simply not ready, and you should be true to yourself and decide whether this is something you

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OCTOBER 29,2019 2015 || The The Jewish Jewish Home Home JANUARY 17,

are ready to dip your toe into right now. When dating is right for you, you should feel absolutely entitled

to determine whether dating an older woman is an option for you. No one could or should tell you what the correct decision should

Pulling It All Together

be. Obviously, there is nothing wrong with dating an older woman. It’s becoming more popular, and that’s great! But everyone is different, and it important to listen to your own heart. If your heart tells you it’s not a comfortable reality, then you must respect yourself enough to just say “no.”

It’s your feelings, your choices, and your comfort level that transcends the needs of the greater good.

wonderful. Whether it’s the result of two mature people, or one “go with the flow” spouse, or a bit of mazal…I don’t have the magic formula. But sometimes, the truth is (if we are being honest with ourselves), adolescence and marriage are a bad shidduch. If you don’t feel ready to date, please do some soul searching and consider that not all men and women are ready to make the biggest and most significant commitment of their lives at 22 years old. Once you walk down that aisle and you close the door, your rebbe will not be there. It will be your life, with your wife, regardless of her age. I have a two-step plan for you, my friend. Step one: figure out what you want. Figure out if you’re ready for any of this. And remember, its really OK if you aren’t ready. The last thing any woman (or children) need is a husband/father who wasn’t ready. And you don’t want that either. Be true to yourself. Step two: speak with your rebbe from a mature, respectful and open place. Share with him whatever it is that you will have learned about yourself. See if he is respectful of where you are at and supports you at this very moment in your life. If your rebbe pushes you in a direction you are not comfortable with, listen to what your intuition tells you. I am so glad you wrote in, and I wish you all the best. It is my hope that if there are other young readers

out there who don’t feel ready to get married, or are feeling pressured into dating someone of a certain age, that they were given some validation. It is also my hope that if there are parents out there reading this, and they either see their child is not ready or their child has told them they are not ready, that they can breathe a small sigh of relief knowing that this is normal and at least developmentally appropriate. It is never a good idea to be forced into dating and marriage. Let’s all take a collective breath (inhale five seconds through the nose, exhale seven seconds through the mouth) and let go of the “I have to’s,” “she must’s” and “he should be’s.” Ta-ta shame! Sayonara pressure! Hello intuition and selfworth! Here’s to finding the right person in the right time! B’shaah tova to all. All the best, Jennifer

The Navidaters Dating and Relationship Coaches and Therapists

o be completely honest, I am having a very uncomfortable and squeamish reaction to what may be “groupthink.” Here is the definition of groupthink from Google’s dictionary. group·think noun NORTH AMERICAN the practice of thinking or making decisions as a group in a way that discourages creativity or individual responsibility. The other possibility that crosses my mind is that this is not a groupthink situation, but a reflection of your discomfort with speaking your mind to your rebbe, or maybe you genuinely do not know what you want. There is nothing wrong with an initiative to date older singles in an attempt to alleviate the shidduch crisis. It’s actually noble and not a bad idea, for the men and women who are open to it. It seems as though your rebbe may not be not attuned to your needs. If you’ve shared your concerns, and he is pushing you in a certain direction, I don’t think that’s OK. The following is meant for you and everyone out there reading this. If you are dating, and know in your gut that someone is not for you, do not ignore that intuition. If you do, you will most likely wind

up on a therapist’s couch in marital therapy or in individual therapy, trying to fi x something that at its core does not work well. Why spend a lifetime forcing a square into a circle? Another point I’d like to address is how very young you are. I’m not sure you’re ready to date because this is something you want and you feel ready for. And you know what? That would be OK! You’re only 22. According to HealthyChildren. org, the age range for male adolescence can stretch into their twenties! As a society and a culture, we marry young, and I respect hashkafic values. As a mental health professional within this society and culture, it is my duty to share that adolescence and marriage often don’t mix. Adolescence is a time of self-discovery, which can even give off the flavor of selfishness, which it isn’t. It’s hard work figuring yourself out, and oftentimes there is no room for others in that process. Marriage, on the other hand, is a time of giving of self. It is a time of constantly thinking about another person: her needs, her desires, what she wants to do, how she is feeling, and making that other person a priority. Sometimes these two stages can blend harmoniously, and that is

Esther Mann, LCSW and Jennifer Mann, LCSW are licensed psychotherapists and dating and relationship coaches working with individuals, couples and families in private practice in Hewlett, NY. To set up a consultation or to ask questions, please call 516.224.7779. Press 1 for Esther, 2 for Jennifer. Visit www.thenavidaters.com for more information. If you would like to submit a dating or relationship question to the panel anonymously, please email thenavidaters@gmail.com. You can follow The Navidaters on FB and Instagram for dating and relationship advice.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

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JANUARY 17, 2019 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Dr. Deb

You Can Fall in You Can Rekindle Love with the Your Relationship Same Person Again By Deb Hirschhorn, Ph.D.

ave you ever been told that if you want real love and you’re in a dead marriage, the best thing to do is divorce? That there is no way under the sun that two people who no longer love each other can ever be happy again, let alone fall in love – with each other – again? Lots of people believe this. But the other partner – the one who does not want to end the marriage – is at a loss for what to do or what to say. Let me save you some pain and suffering. As a Marriage and Family Therapist, I started to get shocked when people came to me telling me that they were told – by therapists! – that they needed to end the marriage. I had been making the silly assumption that therapists believed in marriage. Not true, apparently. In fact, there is a new type of therapy called “Discernment Counseling” which is meant to help you decide whether the marriage really is over. And – here’s the odd part – that counseling only takes place with two people sitting in front of the counselor together to discuss it. Wait a minute. You’re telling me that the two people came in together and perhaps the marriage won’t work? They’re talking. They’re there to discuss, to learn, to grow. And you’re telling me that the answer could be that the marriage is over? You know where this kind of take on marriage comes from?

Ignorance. Yes, I am very sorry to say that many of my therapy colleagues really do not have the tools to help suffering marriages not only heal, but be wonderful. So in the face of their own ignorance – which they don’t even know they have – they tell couples to forget it. And I’m not the only one saying this. A well-known solution-focused therapist, Michelle Wiener-Davis (of Divorce-Busting fame), says it too. Just google YouTube with her name and this title: When Couples Therapy Is A Bad Idea. Now, you might say, “Okay, those therapists could do better. But surely, you can’t say the same thing about situations where one person comes in alone, can you?” Actually, I can. The statistics are in on that one for many years. If a therapist is poorly trained in understanding the dynamics of marriage, they are likely to believe the person sitting in front of them. After all, their story makes sense, right? They didn’t hear the other side. They hear about the yelling or the putdowns. They don’t hear about how the person sitting in front of them falsely accused them, taunted them, ignored them, turned down their request for affection, or won’t even talk to them. That side of the story they don’t hear. The reality is far more than “there are two sides to everything.” “Sides” implies two separate shapes. The reality of the downward spiral is that the

shape is one of deep connection – even though it’s toxic. It’s more like a circle than something that has “sides.” One person affects the other’s responses, and the other’s responses generate further responses, and so it goes. Then, of course, there are all the self-help books telling you what to do to repair the marriage. I wrote one myself – which was an Amazon bestseller – and nevertheless, I am here to say that self-help books are not the answer, either. I believed that if only I could give people tools, they could turn their marriages around. I mean, isn’t that what books are for – right – to learn from? But what really happens from reading self-help books? First of all, it is estimated that people will only finish a third to a half of a book, and it could be less. Even people who love to read admit that half the books they own don’t even get picked up. There’s just too much information out there that competes for attention. And even if the book is read, who can give feedback to the reader that he or she is following the practices in the book correctly? Not only that, the person may not even know which book or which exercises are applicable to him (or her). I believe it is for these reasons that people give up. They don’t know where to turn. If therapy doesn’t help, what will? If self-help books don’t help, what will? And certainly, turning around a marriage that is falling apart is not something to try on one’s own. After

all, that hasn’t worked. This is why the divorce rate is hovering around fifty percent. And second marriages have an even higher divorce rate, around two-thirds. As a therapist trying to help people get to a place of happiness in their lives, this is all kinds of discouraging. In fact, if I had to be honest, the profession of therapy itself presents a problem – even when the therapist is highly skilled in hearing both sides, being unbiased, and having wonderful tools for people to be able to make radical changes in their lives. The problem? People get tired of a long, drawnout process, and they give up. Therapists are stuck. After all, it does take time to learn new skills and incorporate them into your life. How could therapists condense the time and make the process exciting rather than a drag? That’s why I developed a program that is a cross between a course and therapy. It’s got the elements of learning from a course, plus the accountability, feedback, and support that therapy gives. Best of all, people are happy to do the work because they see their goals on the horizon. Which loops me around to falling in love again – with your own spouse. Yes, it is absolutely possible. So what are the right tools that require the precision of a course and the guidance of a therapist? Tools for: • Knowing your own self and valuing it – because you can’t love someone

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else if you don’t love yourself • Knowing how to express yourself to get heard and understood – but also knowing how to listen and understand • Knowing how to handle the bumps in the road with grace and equanimity • Apologizing from the bottom of your heart – so it is deeply believed and restores broken trust • Learning to enjoy becoming a giver – not out of neediness but out of generosity of spirit • Learning how to get in-synch and connect • Learning how to be brave enough to be vulnerable so as to restore intimacy • And the other good stuff that goes into a fabulous marriage (which I can’t get into here) In fact, the literature is full of studies on long-term marriages that got turned around from dull – or worse – to being “in” love again. It is, indeed, possible – and in a far shorter time than traditional therapy offers.

Does this mean any couple can be turned around? No. There is a caveat. I have found that there are two categories of people for whom this will not work: people who are stubborn and those who are self-loathing.

inside. Not far beneath the surface is self-loathing. You can try and be gentle but that process will take years and years, not weeks. Stubbornness and arrogance may come from being raised in a home

The reality is far more than “there are two sides to everything.”

Stubborn and arrogant people will not listen to anything. They know better. So I’m afraid that is one category of person that will not benefit. The other category is people who seem to be irrational. You cannot talk to them because they are terrified at looking

where the child was god and could do no wrong. There were no punishments, no feedback, no requests for him or her to consider the feelings of others. Self-loathing is pretty plain as to its origin. It comes from being raised in a home were the only messages reflected

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back to the child were his or her inadequacies. So now you do not have to go to discernment counseling to find out if the marriage is fixable. You cannot reach people who are in either of these categories. But for couples who are totally committed to making positive changes by learning and growing and are willing to self-reflect – yes, it is eminently possible to fall in love with each other again. Book a free call and learn how.

Dr. Deb is a Marriage & Family Therapist. Book a consultation with her to get clarity on the issues in your marriage and learn about her innovative program at: https:// drdeb.com/book. To book a call with Dr. Deb, go to her scheduler, https://drdeb. com/book, but if you want more information about her new program, please first watch the Masterclass on “Getting The Marriage You Want” at http://drdeb.com/ myw-masterclass.

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Health & F tness

How to Vacation Without Overweight Baggage By Aliza Beer MS, RD

hh, it’s that time of year. Vacations provide a cathartic release from our busy lives. But with a good getaway comes a few extra pounds lurking in the background. We like to indulge on vacation – sleeping in, shopping sprees, and, of course, the restaurant splurges. However, there’s no reason a good diet should be left at home. No one wants to come back after a relaxing weekend only to find they’ve gone up a dress size. We’ve all been there. This year, things are going to change. Gone are the days of crash dieting and post-trip starvation. The obvious still stands, though: with the lack of a pantry and our own kitchens, convenience often takes precedence over our health. Fear not! The following tips are adjusted to meet the demands of popular destinations and will help keep your vacation waist-friendly. 1. Miami – I’ve listed this one first because it’s perhaps the most popular winter getaway – and the most dangerous for your diet. We tend to eat out when we’re away from home and the abundance of kosher

restaurants makes that especially easy. Research shows people eat far more calories at a restaurant even when they think they’re being healthy. A portion of meat at a steakhouse is much larger than the recommended intake, and you can’t monitor how much fat and salt they’re adding. Here are a couple tips to keep you in control while on vacation in Miami.

salmon, as a main. Don’t splurge just because you’re on vacation. Your mind may want to eat three appetizers and a deep-fried entrée but your body does not need the excess calories. b. Customize your Dish – Try making special nutrition requests. You can ask for dressing on the side or roasted veggies instead

There’s no reason a good diet should be left at home.

a. Split an Entrée – Generally, portion sizes in restaurants are too big for one. Split a dish with a family member or friend or ask if your server can pack up half the food for later. Another option is to order an appetizer salad with a protein, like grilled chicken or

of French fries. This swap will increase your fiber and vitamin intake and lower your fat, carb, and calorie consumption. Most restaurants today will accommodate specific dietary restrictions so it never hurts to ask. c. Mindfully Indulge! You

cannot eat the bread on the table, pasta, French fries, and dessert every single night! Pick what you love the most, and keep it to three bites. d. Healthy Snacking – Buy fruits like apples and clementines that won’t spoil unrefrigerated to bring to the pool, beach, movies, or on a day trip. The key is to always be prepared. If you are unprepared and hungry, you will eventually succumb and eat your kids’ chips and pretzels! e. H y d r a t e , hydrate, HYDRATE – The hot sun will deplete your body’s H20 reserves. Make sure to always have a water bottle on hand. Invest in an insulated thermos like a S’well bottle, which keeps your water cold throughout the day. Fruits and veggies have a high water content and make excellent healthy snacks to munch on at the pool. Try a smoothie with pineapple, kale, and blueberries, and add ice to keep you cool. 2. Skiing – Since most people generally pack their own food for a

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chillier getaway on the slopes, it’s a bit easier to stay in control of your diet. a. Hotel Refrigerators – It’s easy to pack to-go meals like instant soups and beef jerky when you’re traveling but the sodium content in these will give you headaches and dehydrate you fast. Before your trip, make sure your hotel or resort room has a refrigerator or request one. Then, pack healthy meals that will keep you full and provide energy for the slopes. Try whole grain bread, oven-roasted turkey slices or smoked salmon, and avocado for lunch. Bag pre-chopped salads and bring along a container of low-fat dressing. For dinner, pre-grill chicken breasts or salmon fillets. Bring along a George Foreman for an easy indoor BBQ or freeze pre-portioned meals before the trip. a. Fuel Up – Skiing is an intense sport, and your body needs fuel. What better way to warm up and get good carbs than with a bowl of oatmeal? Bring along packets of unflavored instant oats and add some sweet toppings like berries, pre-sliced fruit, and cinnamon. Hardboiled eggs are also a great option and provide valuable protein content in a filling snack. Bring low sugar protein bars for snacks on the slopes, such as No Cow Bars or Simply Protein Bars. 3. Israel – a full Israeli breakfast is super hard to pass up. Most people go for the French toast, buttered baguettes, and cheesecake. What you may not know is that Israel serves up some of the healthiest breakfasts in the world. Many of them comprise of foods that fall under Mediterranean diet staples and are extremely nutritious. Here are a couple of the best foods to start your day off, and you’ll find all of them included in the lavish breakfasts Israelis serve in the AM. a. Omelets – Eggs are an amazing source of protein. Add assorted veggies to it, and you will be more satiated. b. Fresh Mozzarella – A great source of calcium, fat, and protein – eat it with tomatoes, fresh basil,

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it light and healthy to balance out the heavy restaurant meals. It’s important to remember that vacationing does not need to result in weight gain. Although it may take a little more effort and preparation, you can arrive back home feeling refreshed and invigorated. Eating right no matter where you are in the world are important elements of a healthy lifestyle. Plus, nourishing your body will actually help you enjoy your vacation more by keeping your mind sharp and your energy up. The goal for vacation is to maintain your weight, not to stress about trying to lose weight. So stay active, eat well, and, most importantly, relax on your well-deserved vacation. and a drizzle of olive oil. c. Fresh Vegetables – Every Israeli breakfast has a salad bar – a stocked one. You’ll almost always find olives, cucumbers, tomatoes, and pepper. You can dress your veggies with lemon juice and olive oil, which provide good flavor and health benefits. d. Whole Grains and Legumes – A complete protein is a protein that provides the body with all the essential amino acids. Grains and beans are complimentary proteins that together work as a complete protein. The Mediterranean diet is chockfull of this combination. Garbanzo beans, wheat berry salad, black eyed peas, and brown rice are widely available options. 4. Other Destinations – If you’re off to Cancun or another exotic location not mentioned above, here are some general tips to keep your trip happy and healthy. a. Fitness Rooms – Making time for exercise is essential to staying on top of your game on vacation. Bring along some workout clothes to motivate your fitness regimen. Pack a yoga mat if you know you won’t have access to a fitness room and follow an exercise video on YouTube. b. Healthy Snacks – Never embark on a family trip without your arsenal of healthy bites. Good options are no sugar added dried fruit, apple slices with almond butter in a dressing container, low sugar protein bars, and chopped veggie sticks like celery,

carrots, and peppers. Bring a portable cooler for perishables. c. One Meal Rule – Try eating at least one meal in your hotel room or apartment when on vacation. Whether it’s yogurt and high fiber cereal or a homemade salad with a tuna packet from your pre-requested fridge, make

Aliza Beer is a registered dietitian with a master’s degree in nutrition. She has a private practice in Cedarhurst, NY. Patients’ success has been featured on the Dr. Oz show. Aliza can be reached at alizabeer@gmail.com, and you can follow her on Instagram at @alizabeer.

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Health & F tness

Winter Break is Almost Here. Are You Ready? By Hylton I. Lightman, MD, DCH (SA), FAAP

s I write, our teenagers are engaged in midterms and the younger ones are chomping for a break. All are hanging onto the sliver of the proverbial sunrise on the horizon called winter break or Yeshiva Vacation Week. Jerusalem. Miami. Vail. Acapulco. St. Moritz. No matter the continent, whether it’s warm or cold or you’re staying home, you need to prepare to assure a win-win. Here is some “doctor stuff” to share. Warm or cold, think “sunblock” or “sunscreen.” This is needed, whether you are in a pool, playing tennis, skiing down a slope, snowboarding or ice skating. You will be coming face-toface with the sun in almost any setting possible. Smear your face and all exposed skin with sunscreen. Of course, avoid the eye area. It’s easier to think about reaching for the bottle or tube to smear yourself and your loved ones with protection from those ultraviolet rays when you are in a warm climate. Yet the same holds true for the cold climates. The sun’s rays may feel weaker during the winter but, in reality, they are present and stronger than you realize. Smear with sunscreen in whatev-

er setting. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Enjoy being in the sun once you have properly “sunblocked” your skin and your children’s skins. Sunlight offers vitamin D, a vitamin that the body requires in order to absorb calcium. Vitamin D also promotes healthy bone growth and helps to maintain healthy bones. A short “commercial” on the benefits of vitamin D. It is an essential vitamin so calcium can flow through the bloodstream and be absorbed into bones. Too little vitamin D results in soft bones in children (rickets) and fragile, misshapen bones in adults (osteomalacia). Low levels of vitamin D have been associated in death of adults from cardiovascular disease, cognitive impairment of older adults, severe asthma in children, and different types of cancer, as well as fatigue. Vitamin D is also known as the “sunshine vitamin” because the body produces it in response to the skin being exposed to sunlight. It also occurs naturally in a few foods – including some fish, fish liver oils and egg yolks – and in fortified dairy and grain products.

Eat healthy. Exercise. And take a multivitamin that has vitamin D and calcium in it. Children older than 1 year of age need 600 IU, or 15 mcg, a day. Your child doesn’t have to get enough vitamin D every day. Instead, aim to get the recommended amount as an average over the course of a few days or a week. Calcium supplementation is especially important as many women are learning the hard way as they become older. The need for increased calcium acquisition and storage begins very early in life, especially in the pre-adolescent years. Make sure your children have their well visits, please. Again – an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Next: hydrate, hydrate and hydrate. This means drink water, drink water, drink water. Sports drinks are okay too. Carbonated beverages like sodas should be limited to Shabbos and yom tov. The kids will push back. Nothing new here – and why should you be different? People seem to know to drink in warm climates but I am going to share with you an open secret: you can become dehydrated in the cold weather

too. Remember Henry Worsley? He was the British explorer who died crossing Antarctica in 2016 and lost his life. Why? Because he dehydrated. It isn’t always easy to hydrate, especially when you are outdoors in either warm weather or layered in winter clothes. Honestly, you are probably concerned about the need to use a bathroom wearing all those layers. Nevertheless, if you are out in the cold for more than two hours, the cold combined with heavy clothing and high-intensity exercising like skiing or snowboarding can contribute to dehydration. In addition, in the winter, we tend to go for longer periods without water, not realizing that breathing cold and dry air causes the body to lose fluids. When we perspire in the cold weather, the sweat turns into vapor and isn’t found directly on our skin. There’s no excessive perspiration that is usually the visual cue for us to drink water, drink water, drink water. The cold weather can be sneaky because when you are in it, you might not feel as thirsty because your cold weather body chemistry could affect your brain’s

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ability to let you know you need water. Cold weather also tends to move your body’s fluids from your extremities to your core. This increases your urine output and adds to dehydration. So weather, oops, I meant whether, you are in a warm or cold climate or wherever you find yourself at whatever time of the year, do not rely on thirst to tell you to drink. Drink often and before you are thirsty. In the winter, people feel about 40% less thirsty, yet the need to hydrate exists year-round. Further, the winter months can be a testing time for our immune system. It seems like our systems are more prone to the airborne viruses that abound. Dehydration is a contributing factor because it can weaken our immune systems. The lack of water can dry out

safety. Helmets are a must for those on the slopes. Some might say to do this in an ice skating rink as well. Whatever the setting, know your limits and work with them. Again, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Many people will be staying home for vacation. It’s a great, fun option. I’m sure the Long Beach and Aviator ice skating rinks will be packed, as will other venues. I’m using this opportunity to bring two museums to your attention. First is the Kindertransport exhibit at the Yeshiva University Museum (YUM) now open through May 29, 2019. The Kindertransport was an organized series of rescue efforts between 1939 and 1940 which brought 10,000 Jew-

I am going to share with you an open secret: you can become dehydrated in the cold weather too.

the mucous membranes in our sinus passages and lungs. The result: reduction in their ability to fight infection. It is also possible to overhydrate, which will cause damage by lowering your sodium levels. This can cause seizures. What’s the right amount to drink? Health authorities recommend about 64 ounces per person ages 9 and above. We are drinking to hydrate, not to be full and lose weight. The case for drink water, drink water, and drink water is now crystal clear like the water you will be drinking. Again, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. There is safety to consider during vacations. Please “gear up” appropriately. Water ski only in areas designated accordingly. Swim in pools with a lifeguard supervising or where an adult or two are present (and at least one who knows how to swim and call for help). Buddying up in both the pool and in snow sports is a great way to assure

ish children from Nazi Germany to Great Britain. It is a moving exhibit and makes one – parent and child – think, “Had I been a child or parent then, what would I have done?” Take your children who are in high school; it is not appropriate for younger ages. There’s no admission fee to YUM. The second is the permanent exhibition at The Jewish Museum. The magnificent Judaica from throughout the ages and the world on display tells the greatest ongoing story – our continuity as a people rooted in Torah who have survived the worse. We have even flourished. Doesn’t everyone want to be part of a “success story”? As always, daven.

Dr. Hylton I. Lightman is a pediatrician and Medical Director of Total Family Care of the 5 Towns and Rockaway PC. He can be reached at drlightman@totalfamilycaremd.com, on Instagram at Dr.Lightman_ or visit him on Facebook.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

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In The K

tchen

Shivat Haminim Salad Pareve • Yields 8 servings By Naomi Nachman

I developed a minim salad several years ago while on a visit to Israel during Tu B’Shvat. This salad calls for all the shivat ha’minim to be used and is a great tie-in to the holiday.

Ingredients 2/3 cup barley Oil, for deep frying 1 TBS flour 5 cups arugula or spinach 1 cup green grapes, halved ½ cup pomegranate seeds 8 dried figs, quartered

Dressing ¼ cup olive oil 2 TBS silan Juice of 2 limes ½ tsp whole grain mustard 1 tsp kosher salt ¼ tsp freshly ground black pepper

Preparation Cook barley according to package directions. Set aside to cool. Heat oil in a small pot over medium heat. Toss ½ cup cooked barley with flour. Add to hot oil; fry for a few minutes, until golden and crispy. Set aside. Prepare the dressing: Place all dressing ingredients into a small bowl. Whisk until combined. Assemble salad: Place greens, grapes, pomegranate seeds, figs, and remaining cooked barely into a large bowl. Pour dressing over salad ingredients; toss to combine. Garnish with fried barley. Recipe excerpted from Perfect Flavors by Naomi Nachman with permission from the copyright holders ArtScroll/Mesorah Publications, LTD. Photo credit: Miriam Pascal. Naomi Nachman, the owner of The Aussie Gourmet, caters weekly and Shabbat/ Yom Tov meals for families and individuals within The Five Towns and neighboring communities, with a specialty in Pesach catering. Naomi is a contributing editor to this paper and also produces and hosts her own weekly radio show on the Nachum Segal Network stream called “A Table for Two with Naomi Nachman.” Naomi gives cooking presentations for organizations and private groups throughout the New York/New Jersey Metropolitan area. In addition, Naomi has been a guest host on the QVC TV network and has been featured in cookbooks, magazines as well as other media covering topics related to cuisine preparation and personal chefs. To obtain additional recipes, join The Aussie Gourmet on Facebook or visit Naomi’s blog. Naomi can be reached through her website, www.theaussiegourmet.com or at (516) 295-9669.

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The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

AVI & SHNEUR FASKOWITZ PRESENT

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Notable Quotes “Say What?!”

Brothers and sisters, there’s plenty of money in the world. Plenty of money in this city. It’s just in the wrong hands. - New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio, during his State of the City address last Thursday

New York City is leading the way by guaranteeing that every New Yorker has access to quality, comprehensive access to care, regardless of immigration status or their ability to pay. - Ibid., announcing that everyone, even illegal aliens, will be given free healthcare in New York City

We understand that fashion is very important to our middle schoolers. However, we have had many students who have worn their Moncler Winter Pom Pom hats to school, and either lost or misplaced them. We need your help! Please try and redirect your middle schooler from wearing these hats to school… It has consumed a great deal of our time trying to locate these missing hats, and it has been disruptive to the students’ focus and time as well. - From a letter by Great Neck North Middle School to parents, urging them not to send their kids to school in Moncler “pom pom” beanie hats, which cost up to $350

To be the fairest big city in America, New Yorkers can’t be forced to choose between bringing home a paycheck and taking time off to just disconnect or spend time with loved ones – that choice ends with Paid Personal Time. - Ibid., saying that he will pursue a law requiring every employee in New York City to get two weeks of paid leave per year

I never rule things out because you never know what life brings. – Ibid., when asked on CNN if he plans on running for president in 2020

Disney Land is changing its prices and the cheapest ticket will be more than one hundred dollars. Which is kind of shocking. Which is why they take your picture the moment that you find out the price, and then they sell that to you for five-hundred bucks. – Jimmy Fallon

Pretty cool: A good friend is studying in Yeshiva in Israel. His rabbi told him he liked my beard, elaborating, “It gives Cruz a Talmudic & Rabbinic look & presence that will put the fear of the L-rd into Israel’s enemies & promote Middle East peace.” – Tweet by Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX), who recently grew a beard

The border [is] one of the safest places in America. - Beto O’Rourke (D-TX), former Texas congressman and likely Democratic 2020 presidential candidate, responding to President Trump’s address about the border

The Cherokee County Sheriff’s Office is asking that no one try to stop to get the chicken tenders that were spilled from the 18-wheeler accident last night. - Public service warning by the Alabama Emergency Management Agency telling people not to eat hundreds of chicken tenders spilled across a state highway after an accident last week

You know, that’s such a good question. I don’t know. I don’t know. Maybe next time I see her, shall I ask? - Kate Middleton, when asked by a child while visiting a school, “Has the Queen ever had pizza?”

MORE QUOTES

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Remember: It was here, here in this city, that another American stood before you. He told you that radical Islamist terrorism does not stem from an ideology. He told you that 9/11 led my country to abandon its ideals, particularly in the Middle East. He told you that the United States and the Muslim world needed, quote, “a new beginning,” end of quote. The results of these misjudgments have been dire. In falsely seeing ourselves as a force for what ails the Middle East, we were timid in asserting ourselves when the times – and our partners – demanded it. We grossly underestimated the tenacity and viciousness of radical Islamism, a debauched strain of the faith that seeks to upend every other form of worship or governance. ISIS drove to the outskirts of Baghdad as America hesitated. They… pillaged and murdered tens of thousands of innocents. They birthed a caliphate across Syria and Iraq and launched terror attacks that killed all across continents. - U.S. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, in a speech at the American University in Cairo, Egypt, last week in which he excoriated the worldview that Obama spouted at that very spot in 2009

Because of the government shutdown, the FDA has rolled back its food inspections. Or, as romaine lettuce put it: “I’m back, baby!”

I had a choice: do we have no food for you because we have a shutdown, or do we give you some little quick salads that the first lady will make, along with the second lady, they’ll make some salads. And I said, you guys aren’t into salads. Or do I…send out for about 1,000 hamburgers? Big Macs. So we actually did that. - President Trump, while unveiling a fast food fest to the College Football Champion Clemson Tigers this past Monday

It seems to me like the president will not be happy until there is not one single female Republican voter in the country… He shouldn’t talk about the first lady in that way. We aren’t all here to make salads for men. - CNN analyst Joan Walsh

Of all the crazy things Trump said and did over the weekend, this might be the craziest. - Jimmy Kimmel

- Jimmy Fallon

A Texas woman was banned from Walmart after spending hours driving around in an electric scooter while drinking wine out of a Pringle’s can. Texas police had a lot of questions, including: “How did this not happen in Florida?” – Jimmy Fallon

We’ve become like a little family. We’ve bonded over the years. - Air traffic controller Patrick Harten who guided Capt. Chesley Sullenberger in landing the US Airways jet down in the Hudson River on January 15, 2009, reflecting on the relationship of the 155 passengers and himself, an “ honorary passenger”

Mr. President, is it possible you’re just projecting your favorite foods onto them? - Stephen Colbert, admonishing Trump for serving fast food

FACT CHECK: At two inches each, a thousand burgers would not reach one mile high. – The Washington Post “fact checking” President Trump’s “claim” that the 1,000 fast food hamburgers that he bought when College Football Champion Clemson visited this week were “piled a mile high”

Trump Has Turned the White House into a White Castle, President Roasted for Serving Clemson Fast Food. - Headline of an article in the Washington Post, which featured an article in 2014 about thenPres. Obama titled, “President Obama and cheeseburgers: A love story”

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If it were possible, would you subtract one day off your life and add it to Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s life for one extra day of good health? If just 10,000 people did this, it would add 27 productive years to her life. - Roger Simon, formerly of The New York Times and Politico, responding to the news that liberal Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, 85, was recently treated for cancer

The thought of [Pres. Trump replacing Justice Ginsburg] drives them so crazy they are willing to trade the most priceless day of their life, the last day they would have to hold their wife and hug their children, to spite the Bad Orange Man… You almost have to feel sorry for people this miserable. Almost. – John Nolte, Breitbart

I’m sure that’s hysterical to the families of the murder victims the president just discussed.

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Political Crossfire

No, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. The Fact is, It’s Not Because You’re a Woman By Megan McArdle

here’s a marvelous scene in Alfred Hitchcock’s “North by Northwest” where an advertising executive, played by Cary Grant,

swipes a taxi from another man by claiming that his secretary is ill. When she chides him for the lie, Grant unblinkingly replies: “In the world of ad-

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They are merely exceedingly clumsy. Her famous claim that the United States could save $21 trillion by keeping tighter controls on Pentagon budgets was instantly, obviously ludicrous to everyone in Washington; as one Pentagon spokesman dryly noted, that’s more than we’ve spent on the Defense Department since the nation’s founding. But Ocasio-Cortez isn’t (yet) a policy wonk; she’s an activist. And

If she weren’t a comely and personable young woman with a flair for left-wing organizing, Ocasio-Cortez wouldn’t be a member of Congress and no one would care whether she spouted nonsense.

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In the town that produced such memorable sales campaigns as “If you like your healthcare plan, you’ll be able to keep your healthcare plan” and “We will, in fact, be greeted as liberators” by the Iraqi people, the much-discussed flights of fancy taken by the newly arrived Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, D-N.Y., aren’t even really all that wild.

activist communities of all stripes tend to accumulate a corpus of folk factoids, mangled “data” from too-rapid skims of complex articles. We might call them “policy spoonerisms,” and they persist because it’s so pleasant to believe self-justifying untruths, and so easy to do, when everyone around you “knows” the same things that ain’t so.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019 The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

Predictably, however, things got less pleasant when that in-group activist-speak reached outsiders. Conservatives branded Ocasio-Cortez a dunce, or else a peculiarly shameless liar. Fact-checkers flocked to confirm her errors, as moths to a dumpster fire. Progressives, who regard these screwups with the genial boredom bred by long familiarity, couldn’t understand why everyone was making such a fuss. People wouldn’t be piling on if she weren’t such a bold and visionary progressive, defenders complained, or if she were male, or if she were...someone other than Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Which is, in some sense, true. If she weren’t a comely and personable young woman with a flair for left-wing organizing, Ocasio-Cortez wouldn’t be a member of Congress and no one would care whether she spouted nonsense. But seasoned members of Congress generally try not to repeat policy spoonerisms on camera because such “facts” tend to explode when exposed to the less rarefied air outside an ideological bubble. Instead they craft talking points that strenuously imply everything the base wants to believe, without being specific enough to check. Ocasio-Cortez’s problem isn’t that she’s stupid, or that she’s a compulsive liar; she just got famous before she got wise. But neither is she being oppressed by the power structure – subjected to heightened scrutiny because she’s a woman, or browbeaten by ignorant slaves to neoliberalism who ought to study up on Modern Monetary Theory so they can grasp the revolutionary brilliance of her fiscal ideas. Intellectually, this is about on par with...well, with believing the United States spends more than $2 trillion a year on defense. Some of her critics are female, after all, and we’re not all victims of patriarchal false consciousness. Rather, we have some familiarity with the federal budget, and with monetary economics, and after careful consideration, have concluded that the parts of the Modern Monetary Theory that are true aren’t interesting, while the bits that are interesting aren’t true. And thus, that Ocasio-Cortez’s fiscal prescriptions are reckless bunkum. Professional women do frequently get undeserved flak because of their gender, but everything Ocasio-Cortez does – and not just her dumber utter-

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ances – gets more attention than is usually granted a freshman member of Congress. If you want to be famous, you have to take the good with the bad. That said, I confess to rather liking Ocasio-Cortez, who seems sincere and well intentioned – qualities that are

hardly a substitute for viable policy ideas, but at least a good place to start. Over time, I assume she’ll figure out what exaggerations she can get away with and will leave the more extravagant, self-detonating variety behind. I suspect she’s destined to become a

pretty skillful politician. Though I also suspect that neither fans nor critics will find that Ocasio-Cortez, with her ready-for-primetime agenda, quite as attention-grabbing as the woman of the moment. (c) 2019, Washington Post Writers Group

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Your

Money

What Sears and GE’s Decline Teaches Us about Capitalism By Robert J. Samuelson

eneral Electric and Sears have fallen on hard times, and that tells us a lot about U.S. capitalism. Both were once great enterprises – symbols of American ingenuity and imagination. The temptation will be to blame their troubles on mismanagement. The real lesson is starker. It is that no business, no matter how historically innovative or powerful, is guaranteed immortality. Here’s a summary of the companies’ troubles. Sears entered bankruptcy in October. It will either go out of business (its stores and merchandise will be sold, with the proceeds used to repay debts) or a much-smaller store chain will survive. Although GE doesn’t face bankruptcy, its profits have dropped sharply, and it is considering selling more of its business units. Both firms helped weave America’s economic tapestry. The mail-order catalogues of Sears and its main rival, Montgomery Ward, created national markets for consumer goods, from clothes to tools. Sears issued its first multi-hundred-page catalogue in 1894. It was the Amazon of its time. By the new century, it was fulfilling 100,000 orders a day, reports economist Robert J. Gordon in his book, The Rise and Fall of American Growth. GE – Thomas A. Edison was one founder – promoted electrification, which reached 96 percent of urban

dwellings by 1940. As early as 1917, GE was touting electric appliances as “servants, dependable for the muscle part of the washing, ironing, cleaning and sewing. They could do all your cooking – without matches, without soot, without coal.” These glory days are long gone. GE’s stock is trading at about $9 a share, down from its peak of more than $30 in the summer of 2000. For both companies, economic pressures changed the terms of competition. Sears ultimately could not adapt to a world that included Walmart, other “big box” stores, and the internet. GE tried to diversify from its traditional industrial base of appliances, lighting, electric generators and jet engines. There is a life cycle that applies to almost all firms, especially large successful firms. If they have introduced some important or popular product, these firms can grow rapidly for some period, often decades. But sooner or later, their market will become mature. Growth and profitability may weaken. Competition may strengthen. This leaves firms in a precarious position. The practical question is: what do they do with their present profits, which flow from their past success? The choices are mostly unattractive. First, corporate executives may hoard present profits and defend their

existing markets as best they can. This might succeed for a while, but all the spare cash hides firms’ underlying weaknesses and encourages wasteful spending, including excessive corporate compensation. Second, firms can pay high profits to shareholders through dividends or share repurchases. (In theory, when companies buy their own stock, their share prices should increase.) This minimizes the dangers of wasteful spending but doesn’t provide a path for future growth. Third, companies can find some new growth businesses to offset their mature businesses, either by investing profits in research and development or by merging with some other company. This seems the most responsible path, but it is littered with practical obstacles. Countless billions have been wasted on mergers that didn’t succeed and R&D spending that led to dead ends. Against this backdrop, the distress at GE and Sears is hardly unique. Sears couldn’t compete against more modern retailers. GE’s cardinal mistake was maintaining its conglomerate structure: many businesses under one corporate roof. The theory was that good managers – and GE considered itself a citadel of good managers – could master any business. For nearly two decades, former

CEO Jeff Immelt (2001-2017) sold businesses – including appliances and NBC Universal – and bought others to shift the firm’s product mix. And yet, his successor as CEO said: “I concluded that we were running too many businesses at once to do them all justice. We had to admit we didn’t have the [needed] financial and management bandwidth.” What this suggests is that, even in good times, American capitalism exacts a considerable human toll. To survive, Sears has already shuttered 1,700 stores involving more than 200,000 jobs, reports The Wall Street Journal. (Note: the total includes Kmart stores, also owned by Sears.) There is an ebb and flow to business, based on shifting technologies, consumer tastes, and competition. Success in one business doesn’t guarantee success in another. Last year, GE was removed from the Dow Jones Industrial Average. It was the last of the original 12 firms to go. The others included enterprises making shoes, refining sugar and producing lead – all mature industries. Would we be better off if they were still our leading firms? Hardly. Capitalism’s vices are also its virtues. We pay a high price for economic flexibility but benefit enormously from the rising living standards it produces. (c) 2019, Washington Post Writers Group

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

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Forgotten Her es

Private Herbert Grossman in the Philippines By Avi Heiligman

General MacArthur and troops returning to the Philippines

eneral Douglas MacArthur had been ordered by President Franklin Roosevelt to evacuate the Philippines in March 1942. The large chain of islands had fallen into the hands of the ruthless Japanese. For the next two and a half years, the Philippines endured the harsh rule of the Japanese and was waiting for the

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Americans to return. Before he had left in 1942, MacArthur famously stated, “I shall return.” The return to the Philippines was not a sure thing as the navy wanted, for the most part, to bypass the country in favor of invading Formosa. MacArthur convinced the ailing president of his plan, though, and the invasion of the Philippines was set for

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late 1944. The American invasion of the island of Leyte came on October 17, 1944. Within a week, the largest naval battle of the war (and possibly history) took place, with the Americans turning away the Japanese battleships. The fighting on the island took over two months, and towards the end of the fighting a Jewish soldier from Pennsylvania distinguished himself in battle. Herbert P. Grossman was born in Plains, Pennsylvania, in 1917. Three months after the Japanese surprise at-

olina. The division’s first action in the war was on Guam. It was here at the drive for Mount Tenjo that the 77 th Infantry Division and the 3rd Marine Division linked up. This linkup is possibly the cause for the confusion as to the reports that Grossman had joined the marines. Nevertheless, Grossman continued with the 77th after Guam was secured and prepared to land on Leyte. The 77 th Division landed on Leyte on November 23 and was attached to the Sixth Army under General Walter

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tack on Pearl Harbor, he was inducted into the army along with his brother. Grossman joined the 77 th Division, which was known as the Statue of Liberty Division. The division was originally activated in 1917 during World War I in Yaphank, New York. Twenty-five years later they were ordered into active military service and were stationed at Fort Jackson, North Car-

Krueger. Grossman was very involved in the fighting, and at one point he and thirty soldiers realized they were cut off from the rest of their company. There was a machinegun unit with them, and Grossman knew that he had to protect them from the oncoming Japanese. In a rare instance for World War II, Grossman used his bayonet to defend the machinegun. He was awarded the

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015 The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

A tribute to Gen. MacArthur’s landing in Palo, Leyte

of these snipers and hit him. However, the sniper managed to let off one shot, which took off a finger on Grossman’s left hand. Beloved combat reporter Ernie Pyle was not so lucky. He was shot through the head and killed by a sniper’s bullet on Ie Shima. In addition to his Silver Star, Herbert Grossman received the Purple Heart for the sniper’s bullet that he took on Ie Shima. The decorated soldier was honorably discharged from the army in October 1945. He passed away in 2006. The success of the Philippines Operations came at a high cost. Close to 90,000 Americans were killed or wounded in the campaign but heroism from ordinary soldiers like Herbert Grossman made America prevail in the bloody struggles of World War II. Avi Heiligman is a weekly contributor to The Jewish Home. He welcomes your comments and suggestions for future columns and can be reached at aviheiligman@ gmail.com.

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After the Leyte operation, the 77 th’s next combat mission was Okinawa. Grossman’s unit was sent to the nearby island of Ie Shima. As with almost all battles in the Pacific, the Japanese

fought under the Bushido code and preferred to die rather than be captured. This fighting to the death led to very high casualty rates among American units. One way for the Japanese to inflict damage on American troops was to pull out of an area but leave behind snipers to harass the unsuspecting Americans. Grossman fired upon one

lu x u

cured on December 26 and went on to clear the Japanese from the rest of the Philippines in subsequent operations.

•C el

Silver Star for his action. The citation reads as follows: Private First Class Herbert P. Grossman (Army serial number 23175861), Infantry, United States Army. For gallantry in action at Leyte, Philippine Islands, on December 20, 1944. As a heavy machine gun section was moving into a new firing position, it was subjected to intense enemy fire and was badly in need of fire protection. On his own initiative, Private Grossman rushed to the aid of the machine gun section and killed five of the assaulting Japanese, one of whom was in the act of hurling a grenade into the section. Later, while the gun was being moved a few yards to the right front, withering fire was encountered. With complete disregard for his life, Private Grossman charged the enemy position, shot one enemy soldier, bayoneted another and neutralized the enemy strong point. His display of courage and leadership were an inspiration to all who witnessed it. The Americans declared Leyte se-

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Tribe Tech Review

Can Home Automation Improve Our Davening? By Dov Pavel

am usually the one who touts the benefits of technology within the confines of religious life. I point out how it can enhance your Shabbat and yom tov by turning on and off your lights. I research ways to use your gas fireplace on Friday nights to make your Shabbat a little warmer, and I will write about how you can listen to the Daf Yomi on the Amazon Echo. However, there is an area where technology may not be compatible with religious life: I am referring to, of course, having your phone turned on in shul. We all have a siddur app on our phones that is handy when we are not in shul. At the last wedding I attended, there was a large Mincha minyan with nearly everyone davening from their phones. I am sure Steve Jobs is smiling down from heaven as everyone davens to their phone. However, if Hashem is smiling at this is another question. The problem with using a phone during davening has two facets. The first is the potential distraction of others by having your phone ring or vibrate, disturbing the people around you. Secondly is the distraction it causes in your own tefillah even if it is not disturbing others. My phone is always vying for my attention. I have alerts for breaking news, stock movements, the weather, and the president’s tweets, just to mention a few. While these alerts

alone can be a sensory overload, having to view and swipe an alert during Shemona Esrei will surely ruin any focus and connection one is having with the Al-mighty. Taking a siddur is always the best idea to use for davening and is really the only option in a shul with shelves full of siddurim. When not in a shul, though, a habit I try to form when beginning Ashrei is to turn the phone to Do Not Disturb mode. Turning off your ringer alone will not stop the distracting notifications as Do Not Disturb mode can. There are settings you will need to consider when turning on this mode, and the options will depend on the phone and the version of the software you have. An alternative to the Do Not Disturb mode is to turn on Airplane mode. The second issue with phones and tefillah is forgetting to turn off your ringer when entering shul even when it is left in your pocket. My shul has a charging station in the lobby with compartments with locks and keys, so you can safely leave your phone outside of the shul and even charge it while you daven. Yet, it is all too common for someone’s phone to ring or chime during davening, disturbing the entire minyan. The last time this happened, I thought for a moment, Maybe this is a sign for me to pursue a simpler, less technological life. Then I realized the purpose of my

articles is to find ways to mold technology so that it is compatible with halacha and observant life. Thus, the idea for this column occurred to me. By then, I had taken three steps backwards and likely thought little of any of the words I was saying. Even if you turn your phone to vibrate, the vibrations are enough to disturb those around you. Of course, if you have made it a habit of turning your phone to Do Not Disturb or Airplane mode you can also turn off the sound and vibrations. However, wouldn’t it be nice if there was an automated way of silencing your phone whenever you enter shul? As your Orthodox Tech Journalist, I decided to research this possibility and update you as technology evolves. I believe I have two potential solutions for you: one if you are an Android phone user and another less robust solution if you are an iPhone user. For Android users, you may recall, my previous column discussed using the IFTTT (If This Than That) Platform to turn off motion on your camera. Another IFTTT recipe I created was to mute (including vibrations) your Android phone when entering a location. If you go to www. ifttt.com/p/tribetechreview you will see my growing list of IFTTT recipes for the Shomer Shabbat user. If you select the “Mute Android phone when entering shul,” you will be able

to tap on the map (not the address) and alter the location if my shul is not your default shul. You can also zoom in and out of the location to provide greater location accuracy. This can be important if you live very close to shul or pass nearby without entering. You will also need to enable the reverse recipe of turning the mode off when leaving shul if you want it to be truly seamless. This is a pretty clean solution. I have been testing it with some Beta users, and it seems to mostly work well but until you are confident that it is I suggest you double check your phone before entering Shul. Unfortunately, iPhone users will have to wait for the next column... So until then, stay tuned, and remember to manually turn off your phone before connecting to your Creator.

Dov Pavel is a tech enthusiast who reviews personal technology and home automation through the lens of a shomer Shabbos consumer. He is not affiliated with any of the companies whose products he reviews and the opinions he expresses are solely his own. Dov is not a halachic authority and readers should consult their own rabbi as needed. Dov lives in Teaneck with his wife and three children. Previous articles an be found at TribeTechReview.com. Follow @TribeTechReview on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019 The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

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JANUARY680CENTRAL 17, 2019 | The Jewish Home11/26/18 122 MILLER COMMERCIAL 5X3.qxp_2018

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The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

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Your

Money

Never Lose Sight of Survival By Allan Rolnick, CPA

ovie fans, quick: what do you get when you combine Night of the Living Dead, Deliverance, and The Mist — with just a hint of Sophie’s Choice? It probably looks a lot like Netflix’s newest hit, Bird Box. The movie imagines a shattered future where an unknown presence has driven everyone who sees it to suicide and follows Sandra Bullock and two fiveyear-old children on a desperate blindfolded gauntlet down a raging river in search of safe haven. Netflix dropped Bird Box on December 21 — a time when they shrewdly calculated most Americans would be fed up with Elf and other movies in that genre and grateful for the sweet release of post-apocalyptic chaos. Critics generally said “meh.” But that didn’t stop the “disappointingly clunky waste of a star-studded cast” from attracting record views. The show has also spawned memes like the #BirdBoxChallenge, where people who wouldn’t survive five minutes in a real apocalypse bid for internet fame by posting videos of themselves pulling stupid stunts while blindfolded. Now, we may be biased here, but we assume that at least of few of those millions of viewers wondered what would happen to income taxes

after civilization collapses. (We sure did.) And we know you’ll be pleased to discover that our friends at the IRS have planned for that sort of disaster and more! The first level of IRS emergency preparedness deals with garden-variety disasters like hurricanes and earthquakes. These focus on helping taxpayers manage their obligations until things return to normal. They

disaster zones time to recover. But the real action for IRS preppers involves “continuity planning” for existential threats like biological warfare, nuclear winter, or alien invasion. (Aliens from space, not across the border.) Official IRS documents outline several proposals, dating back to the earliest days of the Cold War, to help re-start collections. These include government

Just like television dramas follow a basic structure built around plot, characters, and similar elements, so does a life fueled by money.

include predictable tips like taking advantage of paperless recordkeeping for tax files, documenting valuables and equipment, checking fiduciary bonds (to protect yourself if your payroll processor goes bust), and updating emergency plans. They also include policies extending due dates to give taxpayers living in

economists holed up in the usual “undisclosed locations” dispensing cash to restart the economy, deciding when to forget about trying to collect pre-disaster taxes, and probably ditching income taxes altogether in favor of a 20-30% sales tax. As for our friends at Netflix, word on the street has it that Bird

Box producers are ready ing a sequel called Cat Box, where survivors escape death, not by covering their eyes, but by plugging their noses. (Trust us, you don’t want to take on that monster.) And they’ve created even more buzz now with Bandersnatch, an interactive episode of their Black Mirror series where the bottom border of the screen periodically pops up to let you make choices for the characters and “write your own ending.” But we can’t see why Bandersnatch is such a big deal, simply because we’ve been doing that for years. Just like television dramas follow a basic structure built around plot, characters, and similar elements, so does a life fueled by money. Lots of people want access to your money pool, and for most Americans, the biggest slice goes to government. But no one else is using tax planning to script your financial life, with lower taxes as your central character. That’s why you need to call us now, to avoid tax apocalypse with your eyes wide open! Allan J Rolnick is a CPA who has been in practice for over 30 years in Queens, NY. He welcomes your comments and can be reached at 718-896-8715 or at allanjrcpa@aol.com.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 17, 2019

Which one of these children needs Chai Lifeline? (Hint: They all do.) Chai Lifeline is renowned for the care and love it bestows on children ﬁghting cancer. But that’s only the beginning. Chai Lifeline serves thousands of children with medical challenges that aren’t evident on the outside, everything from Crohns Disease to cystic ﬁbrosis to heart disease and illnesses so rare only a handful of children have been diagnosed. And still, that’s only the beginning. Chai Lifeline includes siblings and parents, too, with programs geared towards the entire family. We care for more than 5,000 children and their families around the world and across the street. Chances are, you know them. They just don’t look sick.

Whenever, wherever we’re needed, Chai Lifeline is there.

Chai Lifeline. Comprehensive, compassionate, professional assistance for families facing illness, loss or trauma. 151 West 30th Street, New York, NY 10001 I (877) CHAI-LIFE I (212) 465-1300 I www.chailifeline.org

Regional Offices: Greater New York I Southeast I West Coast I Midwest I Mid-Atlantic I New Jersey I Canada I England I Israel I Belgium Hospital Support: Meals | Transportation Assistance | Hospital Visits | Respite Children’s Programs: Arts and Recreational Activities | After-school programs | Sibling Programs | Educational Assistance in Limudei Kodesh Counseling for patients and siblings | Camp Simcha/Camp Simcha Special Family Programs: Advocacy and Information | Retreats | Insurance Advocacy | Family Recreation | Family Counseling | Bereavement Services Community Programs: Project CHAI, support for schools, camps, and communities facing crisis or trauma.

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Life C ach

Free at Last By Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., MFT, CLC

ere we go again! Or is it that we don’t go again? Or where to go again? School vacation is in the air. And parents and kids are struggling once more with how to fill that free time. What are the choices? Get away?! Do day trips?! Stay home and kvetch that there’s nothing to do? Every kid needs a break. But how to spend that time is a real challenge. If you’re a ski family, you’ve sort of got it made. No family member really ages out of this sport. And then you just throw on seven hundred layers of clothes. Plus a helmet, goggles, klutzy shoes, massive gloves, robbery-ready facemask, and assorted body warmers and you’re good to go clunking along. Shlep, shvitz, shoe plant, and you’re ready to add the skis to the base of the getup. Then it’s off to the top of the world with the winds blowing at your back or assaulting your face. And then, swoosh, you’re off the lift, ready for the euphoric trip down the mountain racing and traversing all the way or alternatively winging it with intervals of flopping into the icy snow. Either way, you’re doing your thing and enjoying the great outdoors.

And then comes the end of the ski day, and once again it is shlep, shvitz, shoe plant, but this time it’s soothed with hot chocolate in hand and you’re feeling quite accomplished and spent. Any activity you do after that, even just making it to the nearest couch, makes you feel like a major hero. You’ve given it 100% all day, so even if you don’t move a muscle

pears on you, what’s your alternative plan? Miami is always a first thought. It’s not that far and it’s a far cry from the cold! Aside from swimming and sunbathing, there’s not a ton to do, though. But if enough friends are there you can walk back and forth and back and forth from hotel to hotel and already you’ve got half your day planned.

If you’re willing to be out in the middle of nowhere, with not a sliver of land in sight, you’ve earned every fun activity they provide. Bless you.

again till tomorrow you feel you’ve truly earned your vacation. Then there’s the other vacation option: off to sunny weather somewhere. This creates a more complicated scenario. Where is the sunshine guaranteed, and if it disap-

There is, of course, some jet skiing, motor boating, parrot jungling, monkey jungling, and a few more enthralling spots. But the biggest draw seems to be Lincoln Road. Probably because everyone finds something to keep them busy there. Shop, eat, or

snack… I guess there must be something to that ‘cause you meet everyone there! So that kind of covers Miami… Of course, some people opt for a cruise. And that has tons of variety and tons to do. And I say you totally deserve that! If you’re willing to be out in the middle of nowhere, with not a sliver of land in sight, you’ve earned every fun activity they provide. Bless you. Home is always an option. But it’s a risky choice. Every day, you may hear a harmony of I’m bored blended with what are we doing today. But I have heard that in Florida too, and that’s after spending plenty on the trip. So, home can have its benefits too. I guess that’s why we opted for skiing for so many years. The kids’ lips got so frozen together they couldn’t move them to complain! So, wherever you go and whatever you do on your school break, just remember: these are the good times! Enjoy them and embrace them! Rivki Rosenwald is a certified relationship counselor, and career and life coach. She can be contacted at 917-7052004 or rivki@rosenwalds.com.

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