Parenting Pearls

for a party because it can be simple to prepare but offers your guests many options when making their salads, as well as being a fun activity. 6. Stay active. Whether it be a boxing class, an online Zumba class, or a walk on Shabbos afternoon, it is best to stay moving throughout this holiday. Maintain a routine throughout Chanukah so that you set yourself up for success after the holidays. Staying active throughout the holidays will boost your metabolism and help maintain optimal digestion. Exercise reduces stress by releasing “feel good” endorphins and can be very helpful when trying to not overeat from stress. This will give you protected armor for your Chanukah party later in the day.

7. Focus on the foods you

can eat. It is challenging for people trying to manage their weight to not feel deprived of their favorite foods. Being mindful and enjoying the healthy foods you can eat and reminding yourself of your goals will help you coast through. Even though Chanukah is filled with fried foods, you can almost always find a better option. Be creative and use the air fryer to air-fry cauliflower latkes or even the healthier doughnut recipe you found. Living a healthy lifestyle is what you make of it. Being in contake at least a 10-minute break. Drink water, and after 10 minutes, reassess how you feel. If you are still feeling hungry, go back and take a small portion of food. Let your body cue you for its hunger signals.

Chanukah is a special time filled with gifts, family, and friends. Begin

Instead of restricting yourself, decide to have a latke, doughnut, or another food that appeals to you at one or two events.

trol leaves you feeling your best, while being out of control does not.

8. Take 10 minutes before

going back for seconds. It actually takes 20 minutes for your stomach to notify your brain that you are full. After you finish your first plate of food, Chanukah with a game plan and identify how you want to feel after it’s over. Having a planned mindful indulgence will ensure you stick to your goals and help motivate you to continue making progress. Treating each day as a regular eating day, researching healthier recipe alternatives for traditional latkes and doughnuts, and allowing for a mindful indulgence here and there will help make the week a successful one.

It is best to have more healthful options at your Chanukah party so everybody has something they can eat. Instead of picking at foods, make yourself a plate and ensure you sit down and savor the food you’re eating. Focusing on the foods you can eat, staying active, and listening to your hunger cues will result in a successful holiday week.

Wishing all of my readers a freilechin and healthy Chanukah!

Aliza Beer is a registered dietitian with a master’s degree in nutrition. She has a private practice in Cedarhurst, NY. Patients’ success has been featured on the Dr. Oz show. Aliza can be reached at alizabeer@gmail.com, and you can follow her on Instagram at @alizabeer.

Parenting Pearls

Thoughts on Educational Testing

By Sara Rayvych, MSEd

Irecently spoke to a few parents who expressed misgivings about getting their child tested to check for educational disabilities and determine if their child qualified for therapeutic services. This was not the only time I’ve seen these concerns, as this is something many parents hesitate with. As this is clearly on the minds of parents, I thought it would be an important topic to address. It may not be a glamorous one, but it is a necessary one when it comes to parenting.

I would like to mention in advance that I have an inherent bias due to my professional training. All the information in this article is accurate to the best of my knowledge, but there is always the possibility that something will differ in your child’s particular school or district or that policies will change. No article can accurately cover every scenario, and the best answer will depend on your personal situation. Others may have different opinions than me, but what follows are some of my thoughts on this issue. Parents, along with their child’s teacher or others the parents trust, are the most appropriate and informed people to decide what best meets their child’s needs.

When to Think about Testing

Usually, parents will consider testing if they see their child is not succeeding to the degree the child should be, the child isn’t able to do the work at all, or the child is having to work too hard to learn. For most parents, they will probably hear the suggestion from their child’s teacher but it may be the parent that first expresses concerns.

Parents know their children best and naturally may be the first ones to spot a potential issue. Parents see their child at home and know whether their child flies through their math homework or cries through every example. Parents will also be the ones to recognize if the child takes far too long to finish the evening assignments. (As a related side point, parents should speak to the appropriate teacher if homework takes too long or is too frustrating. It could mean the child is having trouble or that the material isn’t being taught sufficiently in the classroom. Respectfully communicating with the teacher can give valuable feedback.)

Teachers often have years of experience and see many children your child’s age and developmental level. An experienced teacher may be the first to recognize an issue is brewing because they can mentally compare your child’s strengths and weaknesses against the other children his/her age and quickly see when a child is struggling. Even in a classroom full of kids, a teacher can see who is having difficulties.

Please remember that when a child struggles in school, it isn’t a symptom of failure or a judgment on you or your child. Many children have challenges for any number of reasons, and an experienced teacher recognizes this without judgement.

I personally find it irritating when people use the phrase “bad baby.” “Oh, is she a good or bad baby?” they ask. Babies can’t be “bad” because they don’t have the capability. They cry because that’s how they express themselves. Some babies have more needs than others and may present more challenges, but that’s not a function of being “good” or “bad.” Young children, too, aren’t “bad” when they struggle in school. Young children generally struggle or act up because of influences beyond their control. They lack the ability to think about their actions first and then follow through with the appropriate self-control. We need to educate them to behave in a more acceptable fashion but that’s chinuch; they’re not expected to suddenly be able to control themselves without intervention.

The Benefits

There are a number of benefits to testing. Having an accurate diagnosis can greatly assist your child’s educational team in best meeting his/her needs. As much as someone might assume they know the problem, quality testing can yield surprising results and the issue may not be what you assumed. Without accurate information, you cannot effectively solve the problem.

You need testing to qualify for therapeutic services such as speech therapy, resource room, occupational therapy, or physical therapy. Testing results may also mean your child qualifies for a number of different options such as assistive technology or accommodations for testing.

Children who qualify for services receive them free through the school district. Children may also be able to get some services through their health insurance plan.

Therapy services can help address

any core issues your child might have. Rather than continuously putting on a band-aid, therapy can help solve the issue. Think of therapy as addressing the root cause or as removing a potential blockage that is preventing them from learning. Alternatively, therapy may help a child learn to compensate for their weaknesses. As adults, we often compensate for deficiencies without even realizing it. As an example, adults with sensory issues may avoid uncomfortable fabrics. There are many options available that your child can only benefit from if there is an accurate description of the concerns and a well thought-out plan to concentrate on those core issues.

Whatever difficulties your child is experiencing are most likely something the testers have seen time and time again. It can be emotionally beneficial for parents and children to know they are not alone and that whatever is happening has a name and a way to manage it. It’s usually scarier to face the unknown than to have something concrete to work with. For one of our children, their diagnosis was key to helping us understand why he/she was having trouble reading. Having a formal diagnosis, along with a clear explanation, was very helpful in normalizing, rather than stigmatizing, the problems.

I’ve heard it’s far easier to get accommodations for the SAT or other high stakes testing when there is already a paper trail showing need. Parents that have avoided testing until just before college have often found it’s nearly impossible to get accommodations, since it seems like the child has no history of learning issues.

The Hesitations

I personally feel there are far more benefits than disadvantages to testing when necessary, but I do want to lay out any possible hesitations parents may have. Since testing can be long and tedious, it isn’t something done without cause. Testing can be frustrating for children, as many of the tests require a child to fail a certain number of tasks to stop the testing. Children can become discouraged being asked to complete tasks that are too easy or too difficult for them. While I personally don’t think this should deter parents from testing if their child is struggling, it is a potential reason to not test “just because.” Parents have often expressed a concern of how a diagnosis will affect their child’s life and are hesitant to have their child “labeled.” Along with this, parents are concerned that others outside the school may find out

that their child is receiving services. Any information found from testing is entirely confidential and can’t be shared without your permission. It’s really not that different from any other medical information. Any information gleaned from these evaluations should not follow your child unless your child chooses to bring them along.

Parents do have the option of getting neuropsychological or psychoeducational testing done privately. This testing is generally more thorough, and parents may have more privacy in who accesses the information. The downside is that this testing is often more expensive and not all parents can afford the out-of-pocket costs. For those interested in private testing but unable to pay the full price tag, they may be able to get it done by a college, such as Adelphi, that has psychology PhD students. The future doctorates are overseen by an experienced PhD supervisor. A friend of mine went this route and found it helpful. This may be an option for parents whose hesitation is having the district or school involved. The overwhelming majority of families choose to go through the district, but it’s nice for parents to know their options.

Emotionally, it can affect parents to hear that their child has a “diagnosis” but that should not be a reason to avoid testing. What it does mean is that you should prepare yourself for the possibility you might have a painful, emotional response to the results. It’s often hard to hear something negative about your precious child but that doesn’t take away from their immense worth and your love for them.

There is a concern that children will feel different after being formally diagnosed. My guess is that most children in this situation already suspect something. Children are very percep-

tive and realize when they’re having trouble in school. They also recognize if the teacher has to continuously stop because they’re acting inappropriately in class. Getting tested shouldn’t make a child feel much more different than they may already be feeling. Any extra negative feelings that a child

Think of therapy as addressing the root cause or as removing a potential blockage that is preventing them from learning.

may experience should hopefully be mitigated by the benefits of getting the issues addressed. Additionally, many children in any given school receive services, and there is no longer a stigma attached.

While every case is different, if the child seems fine, then there is no need to pursue testing. But, if your child is having issues, then ignoring those issues won’t stop the problems. In fact, ignoring issues long enough will often exacerbate the problem. If testing can yield practical benefits for the child, then I personally think the pros outweigh the cons. The most important thing is to remember how wonderful your child is and appreciate the gift that Hashem gave you. Daven for their success and see nachas.

Sara Rayvych, MSEd, has her master’s in general and special education. She has been homeschooling for over 10 years in Far Rockaway. She can be contacted at RayvychHomeschool@gmail.com.