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I’m lucky to be alive and to still have the limb. I’m very grateful that someone upstairs was taking care of me ... (Amputation) was on the table. - Tiger Woods, revealing at a press conference that he almost lost his leg following his car crash earlier this year
The White House said it would take two weeks to have definitive data on the new strain. That’s right – even our Covid information has shipping delays. Unbelievable! — Jimmy Fallon
I think that they’re not very good because I’ve personally been able to shoplift from here with relative ease. - A shoplifter at a Safeway in San Francisco’s Castro District in an on-air interview with a local TV station about new measures that stores are taking to try curb the shoplifting pandemic plaguing San Francisco
I had kind of a freak-out and I was like, “Honey, do you want me to pull over? What do I do here?” And she’s like, “No, keep going, we need to get to the hospital.” The baby started coming out, so I just … caught the baby. - Ryan Emge of Cincinnati, Ohio, talking to a local TV station about the delivery of his new baby girl
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