Five Towns Jewish Home - 5-31-18 by The Jewish Home

May 31, 2018

Distributed weekly in the Five Towns, Long Island, Queens & Brooklyn

Your Favorite Five Towns Family Newspaper

Living on Har HaZeisim Josh Wander talks about living on one of the oldest cemeteries in the world– and his view of Har Habayis

See page 7

Around the

Community

36 Thousands Join the Fun at the Achiezer & TJH Community Safety Fair

52 Remembering Those Who Died for our Country on Memorial Day

What's the Bedrock of a Great Marriage? PAGE 21

60 Outpouring of Support for RCCS Chain of Events – See page 28

THE FATHER’S DAY GIFT OF NO MOSQUITOS

– See page 3

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The Jewish Home | MAY 31, 2018

MAY 31, 2018 | The Jewish Home

Dear Readers,

Without these social media platforms taking up precious moments of my life I’ve always felt like perhaps I’m less dependent on technology than I could be. But this week I was shown otherwise. A few days ago, my computer stopped cooperating. When I say it was not “cooperating” I mean that it was like the child who refuses to leave the playground when the whole family is already in the car. It was not budging, not yielding, and breaking down in tantrums at random times. And I became frustrated. Hey, doesn’t it know that I need to work on this week’s issue? Doesn’t it know that I have deadlines to meet and things to complete? I had nowhere to turn. No longer does the print media industry rely on huge cardboards and mockups to put out an issue. It’s all about technology – for good and for bad. And so began hours of tug-of-war between a fairly new computer and its owner. Sadly, the computer won. But its victory only means that I gave in – and now I have a new computer as my partner at the editor’s desk. I hope I chose the right one.

ou love it and you hate it. But ultimately, you really need it. I’m talking about technology. If you would have asked me a few weeks ago if I was reliant on technology, I would have shaken my head. “Oh no, I’m not tethered to my computer or my phone. I can go a few days without them,” I would have said. And that was true – until it wasn’t. You see, most of my job is spent on the computer. We get a lot of “alone time” during the week as we jointly race to put together each issue each week. I spend so much time on the computer for work that after the staff and I put the paper “to bed,” so to speak, on Wednesday evening, I step away and don’t want to look at a screen for at least the next day or two. When people ask me why I’m not on Facebook or on Instagram or on whatever other application or program people are busy with, I look at them incredulously. Are they seriously thinking I should spend more time on my PC? Do they want me to wither away as I peck at the keyboard or phone for more hours each week? I need time to really live – to talk to my kids, take a walk, cut up a salad, or enjoy a barbecue. I don’t need to spend more time with a blue-light-emitting device.

Wishing you a wonderful week, Shoshana

Yitzy Halpern PUBLISHER

publisher@fivetownsjewishhome.com

Yosef Feinerman MANAGING EDITOR

ads@fivetownsjewishhome.com

Shoshana Soroka EDITOR

editor@fivetownsjewishhome.com

Nate Davis Editorial Assistant Nechama Wein Copy Editor Berish Edelman Mati Jacobovits Design & Production Gabe Solomon Distribution & Logistics P.O. BOX 266 Lawrence, NY 11559 Phone | 516-734-0858 Fax | 516-734-0857 Classified: Deadline Monday 5PM classifieds@fivetownsjewishhome.com text 443-929-4003 The Jewish Home is an independent weekly magazine. Opinions expressed by writers are not neces sarily the opinions of the publisher or editor. The Jewish Home is not responsible for typographical errors, or for the kashrus of any product or business advertised within. The Jewish Home contains words of Torah. Please treat accordingly.

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MAY 31, 2018 | The Jewish Home

Contents LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

8 8

Readers’ Poll Community Happenings

NEWS Global

National

Odd-but-True Stories

ISRAEL Israel News

Outside My Window by Rafi Sackville 78 Living on Har Hazeisim: A discussion with Josh Wander 82

PEOPLE Jewish Parachutists of Mandate Palestine by Avi Heiligman 116 PARSHA

Rabbi Wein

The Eyes of the Ger by Rav Moshe Weinberger

JEWISH THOUGHT Complaining Bad by Eytan Kobre

HEALTH & FITNESS What’s the Bedrock of a Great Marriage? by Dr. Deb Hirschhorn

How to Stop Weight Gain with Age by Cindy Weinberger MS, RD, CDN

Jared Kushner and the Harvard College Class of 2003 by Dr. Hylton I Lightman

Dear Editor, I appreciated the article in the May 24 issue of The Jewish Home, “A Judge of Character,” about Judge Aharon Melamed, written by Rafi Sackville. I thought that Mr. Sackville might be encouraged to learn that nowadays, in New York, Section 17.1 of the Rules of the Chief Judge says that it wants to “ensure that every judge or justice be familiar with those facilities where the judge or justice is authorized to direct the detention, treatment, examination or confinement of any person in connection with Criminal or Family court proceedings,” and so does mandate periodic visits. If you could let Mr. Sackville know this, I would appreciate it. Thanks, Ken Gartner

Dear Editor, It sounds the young woman in this week’s dating column is immature – really immature. First off, the infatuation she has with her father seems a bit (and I’m being nice here) unhealthy. We all love our fathers and we all appreciate their amazing abilities, but to have such an adulation for her father is a bit creepy.

Additionally, her father is now at least in his forties. She didn’t know him years ago, when he was starting out. Time – and a wife – changes a person. The decades of being a father and a spouse have helped to mold him into who he is today. If I was going out, I would stay far away from this girl. You’ll never be able to please her. Would she want to always be compared to her unbelievable, amazing, can’t-do-no-wrong mother-in-law? Stephanie Heller

Dear Editor, I was very surprised and saddened that the turnout at the Memorial Day Parade in our community was not well-attended. Where is our loyalty and appreciation for the soldiers who died for our country? Many of these soldiers were instrumental in stopping the Nazis from burning millions of more Jews in their crematoria. Don’t we at least owe them a few minutes of our time? I understand that some schools had school on Memorial Day. How Continued on page 10

Vaping & “Juuling”: Is There Smoke Without Fire? by Rabbi Dr. Dovid Felt, Ph. D. 102 FOOD & LEISURE The Aussie Gourmet: Wasabi Crusted Salmon 104 LIFESTYLES Dating Dialogue, Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW 90

Communicate Clearly and Openly by 100 Rabbi Dr. Naphtali Hoff We’ve Always Got a Leg to Stand On by Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., CLC, SDS 126

If you had to choose one, what’s the perfect dessert at the end of a barbecue?

HUMOR Centerfold

POLITICAL CROSSFIRE Notable Quotes

106

The Libya Model Should be on the Table by Mark Thiessen

114

CLASSIFIEDS

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Apple Pie

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The Jewish Home | MAY 31, 2018

MAY 31, 2018 | The Jewish Home

Continued from page 8

shameful. If you don’t want to serve in the army (thank G-d we have a choice not to serve in the army in this wonderful country) at least be appreciative of those who did and lost their lives defending our nation. Isn’t hakaras hatov something they should be teaching and modeling to their students? Sincerely, Gila Miller

Dear Editor, “Camp Kokosh” by Naphtali Sobel was a wonderful read. I have to apologize, though. Although it sounds amazing to make kokosh cake in my own kitchen, I prefer to pick up the decadent addition to my Shabbos morning coffee from the bakery. Still delicious and way less work. All the best, Adi Werman

Dear Editor, Although it would never dine there (aside for the fact that it’s not kosher), perhaps Veeranut Rojanaprapa has the right idea (Odd News, “Coffin Café”). Having to sit in a coffin for a few minutes is morbid but reminds us of our mortality. And remembering that we’re just mere mortals will help us to become better people. After all, if we’re only on this earth for a finite numbers of years we need to make the most of our short time here. Chazal say we should do teshuva a day before we die. Nobody knows when their time is about to come, but if we keep in mind our mortality then we will constantly be reminded to do only good. Tully Newman

Views expressed on the Letters to the Editor page do not necessarily reflect the views of The Jewish Home. Please send all correspondence to: editor@fivetownsjewishhome.com.

COMMUNITY ANNOUNCEMENT: Please note the eiruv extends to the playground at the boardwalk and Beach 9th Street but the rest of the Far Rockaway boardwalk is NOT covered by the eiruv.

The Jewish Home | MAY 31, 2018

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The Week In News

Brazil’s Transportation Protests Truck On

ment. There are many terrible consequences to the country-wide transportation protest. Lack of animal feed may cause one billion birds and 20 million hogs to die, and more than 150 poultry and pork processing plants have indefinitely suspended production. Brazil’s sugar industry, the world’s largest, is slowly halting cane harvest operations as machines run out of fuel. Auto production, which contributes about a quarter of Brazil’s industrial output, has ground to a halt. Even after the roads are cleared, it will take several days for the country to get back on its feet.

Tour Turns to Tragedy Protesting truckers in Brazil are hurting the available supplies of fuel, food, and medications by blocking key distribution roads with huge parked tractor-trailers. The truckers are protesting diesel fuel prices, and it has come to a point where President Michel Temer has had to order the military to clear the roadways. On Sunday, Temer pleaded with the truckers to end their strikes. “We gave everything they have asked for,” said Temer of the measures, expected to cost Brazilian taxpayers some 10 billion reais ($2.7 billion). A state of emergency has been declared in many major cities in Brazil as gas stations and airports have run out of fuel, supermarket shelves have gone bare, and hospitals say they are running out of supplies. Trash collection and public transportation has been reduced or halted across the country, and the price of food has jumped substantially due to lack of supply. The main entity representing truckers, ABCAM, has said that they will only call off the protests when the federal taxes on diesel are removed. Several of the smaller trucker groups initially agreed to suspend protests when the government promised to subsidize and stabilize diesel prices, which may cost 5 billion reais ($1.4 billion) this year. The government also said the state-led oil company Petroleo Brasileiro SA would extend a 10 percent diesel price cut for 30 more days. The protests will continue, say the truckers, until federal diesel taxes are eliminated and the official gazette of the country publishes the announce-

A woman from Argentina who was showing Israeli tourists around areas of southwestern Colombia was kidnapped and killed last week. The murder was allegedly carried out by FARC dissidents, according to Colombian authorities. Berenice Blanco was taking two 22-year-old post-IDF tourists on a “Cannabis Tour,” when the three were abducted by armed men who “identified themselves as dissidents from the Sixth Front of the FARC,” prosecutors said. The Israelis were released three days later, but Blanco was kept while a $100,000 ransom was demanded from her family in Argentina. Her body was recovered three days later in Corinto. Omer Yefet and Gal-El Yaakov, both 22, told Israeli news outlets that the guide, whom they referred to as “Monica,” had convinced the kidnappers that they had no money. The cartel chief, according to Yefet, wanted 500 million pesos ($17 million), which he claimed was owed to him by the tour company that employed Blanco. “Monica said it wasn’t even worth offering him the 300 pesos ($85) dollars that we had,” Yefet said. “Monica did everything she could to make sure we were OK and defended us throughout. I don’t know what happened to her,

The Jewish Home | MAY 31, 2018

unfortunately. I tried to check with the tour company,” Yefet said. When they were leaving, Blanco told them that she knows “people who can get me out of here; everything is fine.” Blanco worked for a company called “Cannabis Tour,” which offers visitors a tour of the narco-crop cultivation fields in the Cauca area. FARC dissidents as well as members of the Gulf Clan drug trafficking operation are known to frequent the area.

New Italian PM is Virtual Unknown

The top position in Rome is being occupied by a law professor that never held a political office. Giuseppe Conte, 53, who is unaffiliated with any political party, is to be the new prime minister of Italy. He was thrust into the

spotlight when the Eurosceptic 5-Star Movement Party and the anti-immigrant League announced him as the compromise candidate to lead their coalition government. “Outside here there is a country that needs answers,” Conte said after President Sergio Mattarella asked him to try to form a government. “I will be the defense lawyer of the Italian people.” Italy is the Eurozone’s third largest economy and is not in great shape. His task is great as financial markets have heavily sold-off Italian stocks and government bonds at the prospect of an inexperienced government. The new prime minister has had a controversial month as media outlets put a magnifying glass on his resume and found some inconsistencies. Conte said he had “perfected his judicial studies” at numerous foreign institutions, including Cambridge University, New York University and the Sorbonne in Paris. However, most of the universities say they do not have him in any of their databases as having ever attended. Conte responded that he had attended these universities in an informal capacity to use their facilities and meet colleagues and had made no false claims. Both 5-Star and the League have stuck with their pick.

They spent weeks trying to find a compromise and put pressure on President Mattarella to accept their recommendation. In Italy, the president needs to officially nominate the prime minister. Conte teaches at Florence University and is known for wearing waistcoats, cufflinks and a white handkerchief poking out of his breast pocket. He promised to implement the government program that the 5-Star and League leadership agreed to. Their main goals are to implement an immigration crackdown and budget-busting measures to help ordinary Italians.

Lessons from Richard Branson

Americans love a good story and multi-billionaire Richard Branson has as excellent one.

“I was seen as the dumbest person at school,” the founder and CEO of Virgin Group recently told CNNMoney. “The idea that I could be successful didn’t dawn on me.” As a child, Branson struggled with dyslexia which made it difficult to keep up with his class. “What’s interesting about people who are dyslexic is that they can often excel at things that they love and have a passion for,” he said. “And I have a passion for quite a lot of things.” His first ever business opportunity came in the form of a magazine for young people called Student. He was 15 when he started it and dropped out of school to talk to people around the world and learn about what was happening. “I felt that I could get out and start creating things that would make a difference in the world,” he said. In order to support his new project, Branson started selling records by mail. Ultimately, the magazine failed. But the mail-order record business turned into something huge: Virgin Records. After mailing records and opening a store, Branson started a label to help support an artist he believed in, Mike Oldfield. “I went to seven record companies, and none of them would put [his song] out. So I

Be’er Miriam Tziporah & Velvel Say:

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to Mrs. Aleeza Kadosh, Mrs. Miriam Tropper and Rabbi Michoel Sheppard for their support and encouragement in allowing the TAG-MSHS seniors to work on the Beer Miriam Tziporah Hachnosas Kallah Chinese Auction. to TAG-MSHS alumnae: Raizy Kutner, Ora Tessler, Brocha Bloch, Elianna Wasserman & Leah Genack for all their input and effort on behalf of the auction. Velvel recognizes the outstanding effort and tireless work of the TAG Seniors: Tova Gittel Axelrod Ahuvah Bechofer Estee Beigeleisen Miriam Bistricer

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MAY 31, 2018 | The Jewish Home

formed a little record company on my own,” Branson said. The risks paid off. “It sold millions and millions of albums,” Branson recalled. After Oldfield, Branson kept signing “bands that nobody else would sign,” including some wildly successful ones. After over a decade in the record industry, Branson launched the airline Virgin Atlantic. “Nobody thought we would survive,” Branson said. But Virgin was good enough to win customers over. “We created an airline that people loved to fly in a marketplace where other airlines were dreadful,” he said. “People went out of their way to fly us.” Over the years, the Virgin travel family expanded globally to include Virgin America and Virgin Australia. Its newest division is Virgin Galactic, which involves commercial space travel. Branson is eager to compete with his space travel rival, SpaceX CEO Elon Musk. “Right now, there’s about 700 engineers who are beavering away to make sure that Elon’s little car in space does not stay lonely too long,” he said, referring to the Tesla roadster that Musk sent into space as part of the maiden launch of SpaceX’s Falcon Heavy rocket. “I feel quite soon that little car might have another friend or two out there.” He mused, “Failure is a wonderful way of learning.” As “an entrepreneur, if you’re not taking risks, you’re not going to achieve anything... I’ve learned the hard way sometimes.” He’d rather give something a shot than not try at all. “If you give something a go and it doesn’t work out, you certainly haven’t failed,” he said. “You just learned.”

Citizenship for “Spiderman” in France

On Saturday, as people on the sidewalk watched in horror as a fouryear-old dangled from the balcony off

a four-story building in a suburb of Paris, France, Mamoudou Gassama sprang into action. The 22-year-old sprinted up the side of the building, using balconies as footholds to get to the dangling child. Videos of Gassama making the daring rescue catapulted the Malian immigrant to fame. President Emmanuel Macron reached out to him in the aftermath, promising him a path to citizenship. Hailing the bravery of the youth who had been living in France illegally, the head of the local authority, Pierre-Andre Durand, said: “How can anyone fail to be impressed by what he did, not admire it? He helped someone in danger, which is not such a common thing in our society.” On Monday Gassama was honored by President Macron with a medal for bravery, the promise of citizenship and the offer of a job with the fire service. Gassama arrived in France via Italy and the perilous Mediterranean migrant route. His official permit allowing him to work will arrive within a month, and his citizenship papers in about three months, officials said on Tuesday. The athletic Malian also visited a fire station to sign up for a 10-month internship with the Paris fire and rescue services, expected to pay close to 600 euros ($690) a month. The boy’s father, who had been living alone with him in Paris, had left him alone to go out to the shops and then remained on the street to play Pokemon Go, according to French investigators. He was arrested on charges of neglecting his parental duties but was released again on Monday. Reacting to Gassama’s intervention on Antenne Reunion radio, the boy’s mother said: “We can only thank him and thank heaven he was so reactive.”

PM Hariri Wins Third Term The prime minister of Lebanon will serve a third term thanks to the support he received from the vast majority of the country’s lawmakers. The new parliament gave him 111 votes, out of 128 seats. In his last election, Saad Hariri won 80 votes. This time around, all major parliamentary blocs supported him, except for Hezbollah, the Shi-

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ite Muslim group supported by Iran, which abstained. Hariri, who is backed by Saudi Arabia, faces a hard task in setting up a Cabinet. In the last parliamentary elections, Hezbollah made gains and Hariri’s bloc lost nearly a third of its seats. Hezbollah chief Hassan Nasrallah had called the results a “great moral and political victory.”

“Everyone seriously intends to facilitate the formation of a government. What unites us is greater than what divides us,” Hariri said from Lebanon’s presidential palace after being formally tasked with the formation of a new Cabinet. “I extend my hand to all political entities in the country to achieve what the Lebanese are looking for,” he added. Lebanon is in political and economic turmoil. There is a large and growing refugee population, a dramatic rise in unemployment, a de-

caying infrastructure, and many have lost faith in the electoral process. Less than half of the voters went to the polls in the latest elections. Hariri is popular and has the definite advantage of name recognition. His father was former Prime Minister Rafik Hariri, who was credited with ushering Lebanon into a reconstruction era after its 15-year civil war that ended in 1990. The five-time prime minister was assassinated in a bombing in 2005 and Lebanon has been in a state of political unrest since then.

Turkey’s Economy Continues to Fall Apart

The economy in Turkey is on the very thin ice as its currency is fac-

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ing collapse. The Turkish lira has plunged by about 20 percent against the U.S. dollar since the beginning of 2018. The economy is sure to be the most important topic on voters’ minds as the state heads into an election in June. “There are increasing signs that the Erdogan government is tightening its grip on the running of not just Turkey, but I think economic policy more generally with the central bank certainly in the government’s focus,” said Commerzbank global financial economist Peter Dixon. “Markets are beginning to take fright at the extent of government interference over certainly central bank policy. That’s certainly been one of the factors which has caused the lira to lose ground.” The central bank in Turkey hiked interest rates from 13.5 percent to 16.5 percent in an attempt to stem inflation, but many experts say it was done too late. The spending power of ordinary people – who are the voters – has been greatly reduced. Storeowners have been hit particularly hard as they pay rent in dollars. “This could really hurt Erdogan at the polls,” said Timothy Ash, a Turkey expert and senior sovereign strategist at BlueBay Asset Management.

“Turks really care about the exchange rate,” he added, noting that the lira’s crash could lead voters to question the president’s economic competence. Erdogan, who served as prime minister from 2003 until he was elected president in 2014, has always boasted about his economic achievements, which benefited his lower and middle income electoral base.

Defector’s Book Shines Light on Kim Family

A new book, written by a North Korean defector, takes a close look at the bloody purges that were carried out by Kim Jong Un and shows the connection between the background

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of North Korea’s leader’s mother and the execution of his uncle. Thae Yong-ho, a former senior diplomat, recounts in the book that Kim’s mother, Ko Young-hee, was born in Japan, a birthplace that is considered to be a serious shortcoming among North Korea’s elites. Her marriage to Mr. Kim’s father was never endorsed by his paternal grandfather, Kim Il-sung, the nation’s founder. According to the book, since he was a child, Kim Jong Un has appeared to blame his uncle, Jang Songthaek, for preventing Ms. Ko from befriending his paternal grandfather. Kim had his uncle executed in 2013. Thae was a North Korean diplomat before he fled to South Korea in 2016. He is one of the highest-profile defectors in many years. His book is not forgiving of the Kim family, who have controlled North Korea with an iron fist since the late 1940s. Last week, when North Korea suspended border talks with South Korea, one of the reasons cited was the interviews and speeches Thae gave in Seoul this month to promote his book. North Korea’s state media called Thae “human scum” and said he was hurling “mud at the dignity of the supreme leadership” of the North. The book provides a look inside the Kim family, detailing many aspects of the relationships between Kim and his two older brothers, who were passed over for leadership by their deceased father. After his father, Kim Jong Il, died in 2011, the youngest Kim took over and consolidated power through a series of deadly purges. The memoir recalls how the Kim family made sure to have any delicacies they desired during the devastating North Korean famine of the 1990s. While Thae was serving in Denmark, North Korean delegates came to buy cows for a special farm that provided dairy goods and beef for the Kim family alone. Another delegate came to buy Danish beer for the elites as many North Koreans starved.

Ecuador Wants Assange Out Julian Assange has been on the run for nearly six years. He has been camping out at the Ecuadorian Embassy in London, although it has been said that his security has recently been threatened, which could allow British authorities to arrest him and

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lead to potential extradition to the the situation is card “unusually bad” and that help navigate credit rewards & travel U.S. he could leave the embassy “any day now.” They did not specify if it would be done by force or if perhaps his current home would be made to feel so restricted that he might choose to leave on his own. According to CNN, the U.S. has prepared charges to seek the arrest of Assange, who U.S. intelligence agencies believe Russia used as an intermediary to distribute hacked emails Assange and the embassy are re- from Hillary Clinton’s campaign portedly saying that their current during the 2016 presidential election.

has been detained without charge for 2,720 days – 53 of those “gagged” and isolated from visitors and outside communications – and that there is “not a shred of evidence that Assange has done anything but publish material just as the establishment media do every day,” according to a tweet by his lawyers on May 19. “The concern from day one until the present is that if Julian Assange walks out of the embassy, he will be extradited to face what the executive

MAY 31, 2018 | The Jewish Home

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director of the ACLU described as an ‘unprecedented and unconstitutional’ prosecution under the U.S. Espionage Act,” his lawyer, Melinda Taylor, told the media. Lenin Moreno, Ecuador’s newly elected president, is under increasing pressure from the U.S. to expel Assange, sources say. Moreno described Assange as an “inherited problem” and “more than a nuisance” in a television interview in January. British authorities have said that they would issue a warrant for Assange’s arrest if he were to leave the embassy.

Nipah Virus in India Kills 12

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A deadly virus in India has killed more than a dozen people. The Nipah virus presents with flu-like symptoms and leads to agonizing brain swelling conditions known as encephalitis. An outbreak in South India has alarmed health officials, as there is no vaccine for Nipah and it has a mortality rate of 70 percent. The virus is listed alongside Ebola and Zika as one of eight priority diseases the World Health Organization believes could cause a global epidemic. Health officials believe this outbreak began with someone infected by a fruit bat, a senior Health Ministry official said. Subsequent infections are believed to have come from human-to-human contact, sometimes passing to relatives or medical workers caring for the sick. About 100 families where someone has had contact with infected people are being carefully monitored by health officials. Tests have also been ordered after several bats were found dead at a secondary school in the state of Himachal Pradesh. The examinations later found the bats were not carrying Nipah, but fear continues to run high across the country. Health officials have advised people not to eat fruits that have fallen to the ground or appear to feature tooth or claw marks and have warned

them against travelling to the affected states. People have also been told to avoid abandoned wells, as fruit bats eat dates from palm trees and sometimes nest in wells. Health experts have been flown into the region to help contain the virus.

Elite Soldier Killed By Marble Slab

Ronen Lubarsky, an elite IDF soldier, tragically died last Shabbos after being critically injured in an arrest raid. The 20-year-old from Rachovot was buried in Jerusalem’s Mount Herzl military cemetery on Sunday morning. “My dear brother, how did we arrive at this strange situation?” Lubarsky’s brother Eric said at the funeral, which was attended by hundreds. “You fought. Throughout your life, you chose all of the closed doors and were better than everyone else. I’m sure you chose this moment too.” Lt. Col. A, the commander of the Duvdevan unit that Lubarsky served in, praised him during the funeral, calling him “the son of a family of warriors, the salt of the earth. While we prayed at your bedside in the hospital, your mother pointed at members of the family and said, ‘They’re all warriors, but Ronen is the best.’ Your mother was right. You were among the finest fighters in the unit,” Lt. Col A recalled. Ronen was wounded when a marble slab was dropped on his head during an IDF operation to arrest suspected terrorists in the West Bank. The IDF revealed that the soldiers had been on a mission to arrest members of a terror cell who had been carrying out shooting attacks. The stone slab was thrown from a third story

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MAY 31, 2018 | The Jewish Home

the Gaza Strip into Israel, the largest exchange between Israel and Gaza-based terrorist groups since the 2014 war.

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window by an unidentified Palestinian. No shots were fired in response as the unit could not identify where the stone came from for some time. Ronen was rushed to the hospital but succumbed to his wounds while in intensive care. “On Shabbat we lost Duvdevan soldier Sergeant Ronen Lubarsky, who was critically wounded during an operation to arrest wanted suspects,” said Defense Minister Avigdor Liberman. “Duvdevan, one of our elite

units, carries out many arrests every night in an endless war. I wish to send my condolences to the family in the family of the entire nation of Israel and am closely monitoring the efforts to arrest the terrorist,” he added. “We will bring justice for Ronen.” Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu also expressed his condolences to Lubarsky’s family. “Our security forces will get to the terrorist and the State of Israel will bring him to justice,” he said.

The army posthumously promoted him to the rank of staff sergeant.

Rocket Barrage from Gaza Tuesday was a frightening day for some in Israel, as Hamas and Palestinian Islamic Jihad lobbed tens of rockets and mortar rounds from

The Hamas and Palestinian Islamic Jihad terrorist groups, jointly responsible for the hours of salvos of rockets and mortar rounds at Israel, released messages through Palestinian media, saying they were not interested in escalating the situation but that “you must be stupid to think that we won’t retaliate.” The terror groups blamed the violence on Israel, which it accused of “trying to change the equation.” Senior officials in Israel announced on Tuesday night that it was not interested in a war in Gaza but was prepared to respond “forcefully” to any rocket fire from the Strip. Egypt has been working behind the scenes with Israel, Hamas, and Islamic Jihad in an effort to calm the situation, according to Hebrew-language media. Throughout the day, terrorist groups launched dozens of mortar shells and rockets at southern Israel, beginning at 7 a.m. and lasting into the night. The projectiles caused several injuries and some damage, though a large number were intercepted by the Iron Dome anti-missile system. In response, Israeli aircraft bombarded dozens of positions belonging to the Hamas and Palestinian Islamic Jihad terrorist groups, including a “unique” Hamas attack tunnel, which passed from the Strip through Egypt and into Israel, the army said. On Tuesday afternoon, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu held an emergency discussion with Defense Minister Avigdor Liberman, IDF chief Gadi Eisenkot, the head of the Shin Bet Nadav Argaman, and other senior defense officials to discuss the situation in Gaza. After initially trying to allow residents of southern Israel to go about their usual routine, on Tuesday afternoon the military ordered them to stay within 15-seconds’ reach of a bomb shelter until further notice.

The Jewish Home | MAY 31, 2018

Four Israelis – three soldiers and a civilian – were wounded by shrapnel in the attacks. One soldier was moderately wounded, while the rest suffered light injuries. One mortar shell struck a tree in the yard of a kindergarten, shortly before children were due to arrive, in the Eshkol region of southern Israel. The Israeli Air Force struck more than 35 targets in the Gaza Strip, belonging to Hamas and the Islamic Jihad. The army said it holds the Hamas terror group, which rules Gaza, responsible for every rocket and mortar attack coming from the Strip, regardless of who physically fires it. “We know that Hamas has the ability to control the violence from Gaza,” an army spokesperson said.

Billionaire Moves to Israel – Is Country’s Richest The newest Israeli is now the richest in the country. Russian-Jewish billionaire Roman Abramovich, owner of London’s Chelsea soccer club, has immigrated

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following the incident. Abramovich has owned the Chelsea soccer team since 2003 and has been present at nearly every game – until his visa problems began.

Israel Expands Its Anti-Iranian Reach In Syria Abramovich’s British visa expired last month. His previous visa was granted before more rigorous regulations were instituted in April 2015. Even before moving to Israel, Abramovich was a frequent visitor to the country. Abramovich would have to explain the source of his wealth to receive a new British visa, according to reports. There is no evidence that Abramovich has done anything wrong, but the United Kingdom has scrutinized Russian businesspeople and diplomats more carefully since the poisoning of former Russian spy Sergei Skripal and his daughter Yulia in Salisbury, England, in March. Several Russian diplomats were expelled

Russia has been notified by Israel that the “red lines” that Israel had previously drawn in Syria to determine the location of its operations against Iran have been expanded. Israel, from now on, will respond to suspicious actions in the whole of Syria, not only in the southern portion of the country. In a possibly related story, Arabic-language news outlets reported that the Homs province of Syria was hit with an Israeli air strike in which 21 people were killed, 9 of whom were Iranian, last week. Iran’s official news agency, IRNA, said that the airstrike led to zero Iranian casualties. The Syrian Observatory for Human Rights, a British-based war monitoring agency, said that the overnight strike targeted a base that

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to Israel, the Interior Ministry confirmed on Monday. Abramovich, 51, landed in Ben Gurion International Airport earlier in the day and received an Israeli identity card under the Law of Return, which allows Jews to become citizens of Israel. The move to Israel comes after Abramovich was unable to extend his visa in the UK amid a diplomatic spat between London and Moscow. The Nativ Liaison Bureau, which facilitates immigration from Russianspeaking countries, said Abramovich applied for citizenship from abroad last week. “Roman Abramovich arrived at the Israeli embassy in Moscow like any other person. He filed a request to receive an immigration permit, his documents were checked according to the Law of Return, and he was indeed found eligible,” a spokesperson said. Abramovich, worth $12.5 billion according to the British press, instantly became the richest person in Israel when he landed in the Holy Land on Monday. He will live in a mansion in Tel Aviv’s neighborhood of Neve Tzedek, a former hotel he purchased from Israeli Hollywood actress Gal Gadot. As a new citizen,

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MAY 31, 2018 | The Jewish Home

was home to Hezbollah weapons and operatives. The Observatory’s report said that the Dabaa base was housing combatants belonging to other militias allied to Syrian President Bashar Assad as well. The agency was unsure if there were any deaths. The base is just north of the city of Al-Qusayr, which was captured from Syrian rebel forces by Hezbollah in 2013. The city’s downfall marked a turning point in the Shiite terror group’s involvement in the ongoing Syrian civil war.

Palestinians Join Three Int’l Groups

The U.S. is considering cutting funding to two UN agencies and a

chemical weapons watchdog group after Palestinians were allowed to join. A United States official said in response that “Palestine” is not allowed to join the UN trade development organization UNCTAD, industrial development agency UNIDO, and the Chemical Weapons Convention which is upheld by the Organization for the Prohibition of Chemical Weapons (OPCW) because they have non-member observer status at the United Nations. The Palestinians joined the groups in an effort to boost their international profile. ”It has been the consistent position of the United States that efforts by the Palestinians to join international organizations are premature and counterproductive,” a U.S. official said. “We will review the application of U.S. legislative restrictions related to Palestinian membership in certain UN agencies and organizations,” the official added. Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas has taken his relationship with the United States to a new low since President Trump announced his decision to move the U.S. Embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem. Palestinians say they want to make East Jerusalem the capital of their state, if they ever establish one. Two

weeks ago, Abbas recalled the Palestinian envoy from Washington in response to the embassy’s move.

Law Permitting Bibi to Go to War Gets Rolled Back

A very controversial piece of Knesset legislation is being rolled back after government members expressed serious concerns. The legislation in question allows the prime minister and defense minister to declare war without government approval. Public criticism also helped rein in the law. Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Justice Minister Ayelet Shaked will now attempt to have the law passed in its original form – allowing the security cabinet to decide without full government authorization. Although the prime minister

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and the defense minister are part of the ten-member security cabinet, they cannot act without at least seven cabinet members’ approval in the latest version of the law. Shaked will attempt to have the law repassed within the coming month, according to Knesset sources. The law is still not without controversy, however, as many legislators still say that it contains loopholes that would allow the prime minister to bypass the approval of the other members of the security cabinet to go to war. According to a member of Knesset’s Foreign Affairs and Defense Committee (FADC), the prime minister could theoretically “announce he was convening the cabinet in four minutes, preventing any minister from attending, thus making the decision himself.” The current version was passed last month when 62 Knesset members beat out the other 41 that were opposed to the law on the grounds that it removes all oversight and gives the prime minister free reign. FADC member Ofer Shela of Yesh Atid, who fought against the proposal in its current form, welcomed its rollback, saying it had been “a security, constitutional and moral danger.”

The Jewish Home | MAY 31, 2018

MAY 31, 2018 | The Jewish Home

Alexa Privacy Concerns Worry Consumers

Alexa is just too good to be true. She takes demands, doesn’t talk back, and never spills her milk on the kitchen floor. She can make phone calls for you, turn your lights on and off, and text for you. Sounds sweet but can you trust her? An unnamed woman in Portland, Oregon, was recently secretly recorded by her trusty friend Alexa and now she is warning others. The concern is justified, said Jennifer King, director of consumer privacy at the Center for Internet and Society at Stanford University, because this type of advanced technology is not fully understood by consumers. “We are basically testing fodder as they roll out more and more technologies that are based on artificial intelligence,” King pointed out. “These companies are crowdsourcing these algorithms. As a consumer, you’re basically helping them learn as they go.” This isn’t the first sign of trouble in paradise with Alexa. It has been reported that the program, which is designed to start listening when it’s triggered by a “wake word,” doesn’t always work properly. In the recent story, the woman’s conversation was recorded by Alexa when the robot misheard a word that was spoken and then woke up to record the conversation. It then emailed the conversation to an acquaintance, who alerted the woman. Security concerns are consumers’ number one issue with all this new technology. While it is also designed to make our lives easier, it may keep people up at night worrying about their safety, said Rebecca Herold, CEO of the consulting firm Privacy Professor.

“In this case, relaying only the word ‘Alexa’ can get the digital assistant to start communicating and acting,” Herold warned. “It’s the security equivalent of using a computer password that’s 1-2-3.” In November 2014, Amazon introduced its Echo product which featured the company’s virtual assistant, Alexa. Since then, connected speakers have become one of the fastest-growing technical innovations in the tech industry. According to the Consumer Technology Association, 44% of adults in the U.S. say they plan to purchase a smart speaker in the near future. Google and Apple have released their own counterparts, and Facebook reportedly is developing its own version. In regards to a case being brought by a woman from Utah, Amazon said, “Echo woke up due to a word in background conversation sounding like ‘Alexa.’ Then, the subsequent conversation was heard as a ‘send message’ request. At which point, Alexa said out loud, ‘To whom?’ “ “I advise my friends that they can have them, but if they don’t think they are going to need it at the moment, they should unplug the devices,” Herold said. “That might defeat some of the ease of use, but, seriously, what takes longer: 20 seconds to plug your device back in or weeks of trying to undo a mistake that occurred by something that was misinterpreted by a smart device that didn’t turn out to be so smart?”

Fans, Politicians, & Players React to New NFL Policy

For the last several months the National Football League has been dealing with the controversy of players refusing to stand up or participate in the national anthem as a means of protest. After months of discussions and disagreements amongst the league’s ownership ranks, team owners approved a new

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the Hispanic community, 49% supported the measure with 19% opposing. Some opposers are taking a hard stance against the new policy. Eagles safety Malcolm Jenkins was one of several players to slam the new policy, saying, “Everyone loses when voices get stifled.” Jets chairman Christopher Johnson said the team will protect players and employees and will cover any fines incurred by Jets players for violating the anthem policy. “I do not like imposing any club-specific rules,” Johnson said, via Newsday. “If somebody [on the Jets] takes a knee, that fine will be borne by the organization, by me, not the players. I never want to put restrictions on the speech of our players. Do I prefer that they stand? Of course. But I understand if they felt the need to protest,” he said. “There are some big, complicated issues that we’re all struggling with, and our players are on the front lines. I don’t want to come down on them like a ton of bricks, and I won’t. There will be no club fines or suspensions or any sort of repercussions. If the team gets fined, that’s just something I’ll have to bear.” United States Congressman Peter King, who represents part of Long Island, was appalled by Johnson’s statement. He tweeted, “Disgraceful that @nyjets owner will pay fines for players who kneel for National Anthem. Encouraging a movement premised on lies vs. police. Would he support all player protests? Would he pay fines of players giving Nazi salutes or spew racism? It’s time to say goodbye to Jets!” Many argued that the new policy is in violation of the First Amendment. Just after the announcement on Friday, a civil rights group called the National Action Network protested outside the NFL’s Manhattan headquarters, calling on the league to “reverse that immoral and unconstitutional decision” regarding the new policy. measure last Wednesday that allows players to decide whether or not they want to remain in the locker room during the national anthem or come out to the field and fully participate. “This season, all league and team personnel shall stand and show respect for the flag and the anthem,” Roger Goodell, Commissioner of the NFL, said in a statement. “Personnel who choose not to stand for the anthem may stay in the locker room

until after the anthem has been performed. The 32 member clubs of the National Football League have reaffirmed their strong commitment to work alongside our players to strengthen our communities and advance social justice.” The new rules prompted cheers and boos on social media. However, according to a Yahoo Sports/ YouGov poll, NFL fans are in favor of the league’s new policy regarding

the national anthem by a significant margin. The survey revealed that 53% of NFL viewers said they support the policy, with 32% opposing, and 15% saying neither or no opinion. The results showed a severe split between white and black Americans on this issue. Amongst whites, 52% support and 32% oppose the new policy. In the black population, only 29% supported the new rule while almost half opposed, 48%. Amongst

Residents of Rural Areas are Happier A recent study in Canada regarding the happiness of residents drew some interesting conclusions. Researchers at the Vancouver School

The Jewish Home | MAY 31, 2018

posthumous pardon is more symbolic than practical. Johnson, a son of former slaves, was the first black man to earn the title of heavyweight boxing champion. “Johnson served 10 months in federal prison for what many view as a racially motivated injustice,” Trump said on Thursday. “He was treated very rough, very tough.”

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of Economics and McGill University compiled 400,000 responses to a pair of national Canadian surveys, allowing them to evaluate more than 1,200 communities.

The overwhelming correlation was between population and happiness: rural communities were found to be consistently happier. Researchers noted that average population density in the 20% most miserable communities was more than eight times greater than in the happiest 20 percent of communities. In other words, when there are less people around we tend to be happier people. “Life is significantly less happy in urban areas,” the report proclaimed. Other factors contributing to happier communities included shorter commute times and less expensive housing. Additionally, residents of the happiest towns were more likely to attend church and feel a “sense of belonging” in their communities. Most surprisingly is that researchers did not see a significant correlation between happiness and income levels or rates of unemployment and education. Similar studies done in the United States have found similar trends. In the U.S. there appears to be a “rural-urban happiness gradient” – the farther away from cities people live, the happier they tend to be.

Trump Grants Posthumous Pardon President Donald Trump is exercising his executive power to pardon once again. On Thursday Trump told the media that he is pardoning heavyweight boxing champion Jack Johnson, who was arrested in 1912 for driving his white girlfriend across state lines, an illegal act at the time. Johnson died in 1946, and this

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Highly successful This marks only the third posthumous pardon in U.S. history. Many politicians and activists had pressured Obama to pardon Johnson but to no avail. During his presidency, Barack Obama granted pardons and commutations to nearly 2,000 people. “While it is unfortunate that this unjust conviction was not corrected during the boxer’s lifetime, a posthumous pardon today represents the opportunity to reaffirm Jack Johnson’s substantial contributions to our society and right this historical wrong,” lawmakers wrote. Presidents Bill Clinton and George W. Bush both granted posthumous pardons. In 1999, Clinton pardoned Lt. Henry Ossian Flipper, the first black West Point graduate who years later was convicted of conduct unbecoming an officer. In 2008, Bush pardoned Charlie Winters, who had been convicted of violating the Neutrality Act by helping Israel obtain bomber planes in 1948. This is Trump’s fourth pardon since taking office in January 2017. All pardons need to first be put through the Justice Department’s Office of the Pardon Attorney, which evaluates requests for pardons and clemency and makes recommendations to the president. He was flanked by former heavyweight champion Lennox Lewis, reigning heavyweight titleholder Deontay Wilder, and actor Sylvester Stallone as he signed the pardon.

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U.S. agriculture and energy products. The announced measures also come amid bipartisan criticism of the president’s softening of penalties for ZTE, a Chinese telecom company that had traded with Iran and North Korea in defiance of U.S. sanctions.

Hurricane Maria Killed More than 4,000 in Puerto Rico

More Tariffs on China

This week President Trump said that he would proceed with tariffs

on $50 billion in Chinese imports and introduce new limits on Chinese investment in U.S. high-tech industries as part of a broad campaign to crack down on Chinese acquisition of U.S. technology. “The United States will implement specific investment restrictions and enhanced export controls for Chinese people and entities related to the acquisition of industrially significant technology,” the White House said in a statement. The details are to be announced by June 30.

The moves come less than 10 days after Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin said that the trade war with China was “on hold.” Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross is due to arrive in Beijing on Saturday for talks aimed at cooling trade tensions between the two countries. The president has been seeking Chinese agreement to reduce the $375 billion U.S. goods trade deficit. But two days of talks in Washington ended earlier this month with only vague Chinese promises to buy more

Around 4,600 people lost their lives by Hurricane Maria last year in Puerto Rico. Many of them perished due to delays in medical care during and after the storm. In fact, the rate of deaths the three months following the hurricane was significantly higher than in the previous year, according to researchers from Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health and other institutions. The researchers say their estimate, published on Tuesday in the New England Journal of Medicine, remains imprecise, with more definitive studies still to come. But the findings, which used methods that had not been previously applied to this disaster, are important amid widespread concerns that the government’s tally of the dead, 64, was a dramatic undercount. Winds, flooding and landslides swept away homes and knocked out power, water and cellular service during the hurricane, which remained largely unrepaired for months.

Famed Astronaut Dies at 86 Walking on the moon is a feat that very few accomplish in a lifetime. In fact, only 12 humans have ever walked the moon so far. Alan Bean was the fourth person to walk on the moon and was the last surviving member of the Apollo 12 mission. Bean died Sat-

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urday in Houston at the age of 86. “Alan was the strongest and kindest man I ever knew,” his wife, Leslie Bean, said in a statement. “He was the love of my life and I miss him dearly.” She added that he died “peacefully ... surrounded by those who loved him.”

on his artistic talents and painted artistic impressions of the moon landing. According to NASA, Bean based that decision on his nearly two decades of experience as an astronaut “during which he visited places and saw things no artist’s eye had ever seen firsthand. He said he hoped to capture those experiences through his art.”

American Imprisoned in Venezuela Brought Home Two weeks ago, the retired astronaut suddenly became ill while traveling in Fort Wayne, Indiana. Bean’s first mission to space was in November 1969 as a member of the Apollo 12 crew. The destination of his second trip was Earth’s moon. “In total, Bean logged 69 days, 15 hours and 45 minutes in space,” his obituary read, “including 31 hours and 31 minutes on the moon’s surface.” Since retiring from the Navy in 1975 and NASA in 1981, Bean focused

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June 9, 2018

Mazel Tov! to those who already found their bashert in the zechus of the Tefillos in Amuka Boro Park | Williamsburg | Flatbush Monsey | Monroe | Meron, Eretz Yisroel

This year you too can be helped!

posed to be one of the happiest days of his life. He was marrying a Venezuelan woman but was instead wrongly accused of being a spy for the U.S. The anti-American Maduro government accused Holt of working as the CIA’s top spy in Latin America. Holt and his new wife, Thamara Caleno, arrived at the Washington Dulles International Airport on Saturday. The couple was transported to the White House to meet with Trump. A visibly emotional Holt, sitting beside Trump in the Oval Office, said, “I’m just overwhelmed with gratitude. Those two years, they were a very, very, very difficult two years. Not really the great vacation that I was looking for ... I’m just so grateful for what you guys have done.” Trump commended Holt’s bravery and thanked the lawmakers who lobbied for his release. The couple was released the day after Sen. Bob Corker, R-Tenn., held a surprise meeting in Caracas with Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro, whom the Trump administration says runs a “dictatorship” and just won re-election in a “sham” vote. In the months leading up to the release there were a series of secret, backchannel talks between an aide to Corker, chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, and close allies of Maduro. Several weeks ago Trump referred to Holt as a “hostage.” Holt’s family is calling his release as a real “miracle.” Laurie Holt said her son has suffered from numerous health problems in jail, including kidney stones and respiratory problems. He was depressed and at one point lost so much weight that he dropped several pant sizes, she said. In their statement, the Holt family said, “We thank you for your collaboration during this time of anguish.... We are grateful to all who participated in this miracle.” Venezuela’s communications minister, Jorge Rodriguez, said Holt’s release was a goodwill gesture that followed months of dialogue between the Maduro government and U.S. lawmakers. “We’re praying that this type of gesture ... will allow us to strengthen what we’ve always sought: dialogue, harmony, respect for our independence and respect for our sovereignty,” he said. Holt, now 26, had planned to spend a few months in Caracas with his new wife and her two daughters to secure their visas so they could

move with him to the U.S. However, before they could come back to the U.S., Holt was arrested at Caleno’s family’s apartment in a government housing complex on the outskirts of Caracas. He was accused by authorities of amassing an assault rifle and grenades. Authorities also suggested that Holt was linked to other unspecified U.S. attempts to destabilize Maduro’s administration amid deep economic and political turbulence. The couple was held at an infamous Caracas prison, run by the secret police. The prison was home to many of Maduro’s opponents. The couple was set to stand trial this month but after repeated delays the Trump administration began to question the motives for Holt’s detention and began working tirelessly for his release.

Walk ‘n’ Chew

If you know how to walk and chew gum at the same time you’re going to be extra healthy. According to Japanese researchers, the heart rate of people they studied ages 21 to 69 increased when they were chewing gum and walking at a natural pace. Most profound was when men over 40 chewed gum on their walks. Aside from boosting their heart rate, those men walked further and took more steps while walking. “Combining exercise and gum chewing may be an effective way to manage weight,” the researchers noted, particularly in countries such as Japan where walking is the “most widely performed movement.” The study was published in The Journal of Physical Therapy Science. Other studies have observed that chewing gum boosts the heart rate and expenditure in people at rest as well. Though the study was not designed to explain the link, the team speculated it may have something to do with “cardio-locomotor synchronization,” a natural phenomenon whereby the heart beats in rhythm with a repetitive movement.

The Jewish Home | MAY 31, 2018

FOCUSING ON EXCELLENCE IN DENTISTRY WISHING YOU MUCH SUCCESS ON YOUR NEW DENTAL PRACTICE Office: 1000 Broadway Woodmere, NY 11598 Phone: 516-791-2200 Email: drchaimlevine@gmail.com

MAY 31, 2018 | The Jewish Home

USS Arizona Memorial Closed for Repairs

Due to structural damage, the USS Arizona Memorial off Honolulu’s coast is now closed for repairs. Jay Blount, a spokesman for the World War II Valor in the Pacific National Monument, told Hawaii News Now that the edge where the visitor ramp meets the memorial has fissures on its exterior and the loading ramp is not being properly supported. On Friday, an update on the National Park Service Facebook page for the monument said the memorial would remain closed to visitors “for an undetermined period of time while repairs are made.” During the repair process, free programs at the USS Arizona Memorial will continue:

Visitors can still view a documentary film at the site and receive a harbor tour of Battleship Row, the area where eight U.S. battleships, including the USS Arizona, were moored when the attack on Pearl Harbor began on December 7, 1941. Other parts of the Pearl Harbor Visitor Center will stay open as well. The USS Arizona Memorial is an extremely popular site: It receives an average of 4,000 to 5,000 visitors a day. Concerns about its condition began earlier this month. On May 6, boat transportation to the memorial was suspended after a vessel operator noticed a crack on its exterior. At that time, engineers began what they thought would be short-term repairs. The memorial was temporarily reopened, but closed within hours because additional cracks appeared. At that point, officials realized there were more extensive structural issues to handle. The memorial, designed by Honolulu architect Alfred Preis and built in 1962, honors the 1,177 sailors and Marines who died aboard the battleship during the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor. The memorial was constructed above the site where the USS Arizona sank, along with the remains

of more than 900 of those who perished. In total, 2,341 sailors, soldiers and Marines were killed in the attack on Pearl Harbor, and the Defense POW/MIA Accounting Agency is still working to identify many of them. The Wilkes-Barre Citizens’ Voice reported that last fall the Defense POW/ MIA Accounting Agency identified the remains of U.S. Navy Seaman 1st Class Edward F. Slapikas, who was one of 429 men killed when the USS Oklahoma was struck by Japanese torpedoes. According to The Associated Press, the remains of the crewmen who died on the USS Oklahoma were buried in Hawaii cemeteries after the attack and then disinterred in 1947. At that time, many remained unidentified and were reburied. In 2015, the still-unidentified remains were reanalyzed, and Slapikas’ positive identification came about from that process. On June 2, he will be buried with full military honors in his hometown of Wanamie, Pa. According to the National Park Service, the Defense POW/MIA Accounting Agency had identified 100 of the USS Oklahoma’s casualties by December 2017.

Enjoy Your Z’s – on the Weekend

Love to sleep late on Shabbos? There’s no buses to catch or lunches to pack. Now you can stay in bed longer, knowing that sleeping late on the weekends (or on any day) can help you catch up on missing hours of sleep during the week. In order to stay healthy you need to maintain the proper balance between getting enough sleep – and not getting too much sleep. Sleeping well has been known to help people live longer. Research has often overlooked what happens on your days off, says sleep researcher Torbjörn Åkerstedt, co-author of a study published in the Journal of Sleep Research. He was “quite surprised” by what researchers found when they focused on that block of time.

The Jewish Home | MAY 31, 2018

“Apparently, sleeping in on the weekends can be a real help,” said Åkerstedt, a professor and director of the Stress Research Institute at Stockholm University. The study looked at 43,880 people in Sweden, asking them about their sleep habits and following up 13 years later. It found that people who regularly slept about five hours or less a night, including on weekends, saw a higher mortality rate – the likelihood of death during the study period – compared with those who regularly got seven hours. People who slept too much, regularly conking out for eight hours or longer a night, also had a worse mortality rate. But when the short sleepers slept in on the weekends, their mortality rate did not differ from that of the consistent seven-hour-a-night sleepers. That was true only for those under 65; the mortality difference disappeared for people who were older. Åkerstedt notes that seven hours is not a hard and fast rule; some people might need more and others less. “If you can function on what you get, you are likely getting the right amount of sleep.” Sleep is something you need to replenish regularly if you don’t want to hurt your health. “It’s a fundamental part of our biology, like breathing. It’s a requirement,” said sleep expert Michael Grandner, director of the Sleep and Health Research Program and an assistant professor in the Department of Psychiatry in the University of Arizona College of Medicine - Tucson. He was not involved in the new study. “What happens is, if you are well-rested, your sleep drive will be low in the morning, and it builds and builds over the day, when at night you need to go to bed to relieve that pressure for sleep. If you don’t get enough sleep, you wake up with that sleep pressure and start the day with a higher need for it. “It’s like with your diet. If you eat OK during the week and you splurge a little on the weekend, you probably aren’t hurting your health, but if you eat badly all week, no amount of Brussels sprouts or kale that you eat on the weekends can make up for that,” he said. Åkerstedt has done a lot of sleep studies over the years, but he said this one has captured a lot of attention. He thinks a lot of people may relate to sleeping less during the week and, at the very least, may want to have an excuse for sleeping in on

their days off. “I think people like the idea that you can compensate for lost sleep,” Åkerstedt said. “Perhaps it’s giving them hope that this habit is in some way good for them.”

Get Out!

This man learned the hard way – get a job or get out. Mark and Christina Rotondo are great parents. And they know that the only way to get their son, Michael, a job and a life is to kick him out of their home. Last week, the couple from upstate New York won a lawsuit against their 30-year-old son who has been mooching off mom and dad for way too long. The judge awarded the parents an eviction after he refused to listen to them and find a job. Mark and Christina have begged Michael to get on with his life, even paying his $1,100 to find a “place to stay.” Michael, though, took the money and then came back home. They even offered to fix his car, and yet, he still refused to go. At one point they started calling him Marvin K. Mooney. (That part isn’t true, although that would be a great name for this man.) “Organize the things you need for work and to manage an apartment,” the Rotondos wrote their son, suggesting he “sell the other things you have that have any significant value.” “There are jobs available even for those with a poor work history like you. Get one — you have to work!” the frustrated parents said. But Michael demanded his parents let him stay with them for another six months. Last week, Judge Donald Greenwood rejected Michael’s demands, calling them “outrageous.” Michael has only until a final eviction date to stay home and then...he’s on his own. After the ruling, Michael Rotondo, with his long brown hair and scruffy beard, said he would accept

MAY 31, 2018 | The Jewish Home

the decision – if he is given at least three months to leave. “I want three months. I think that’s reasonable,” Michael told the Post. Michael, it’s time to grow up.

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Think you have the perfect, lived in pair of jeans? Think again. A pair of 125-year-old Levis recently sold for a whopping $100,000 to someone in Southeast Asia. The jeans, originally bought in 1893 by Solomon Warner, a storekeeper in the Arizona Territory, have a drastically different look than today’s Levis. Warner’s jeans had a single rear pocket, a button fly and no belt loops. Men back then preferred suspenders over belts. Those were the good old days... Warner really needed those suspenders. The jeans are size 44 with a 36-inch inseam. Although Warner’s jeans are blue, Warner himself had a colorful history. He established one of the first stores selling American dry goods in Tucson, and survived being shot by Apaches in 1870. He only wore the jeans for a few times before becoming ill.

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Love bananas? Don’t appreciate having to peel your yellow snack? A Japanese farm has developed a banana with an edible peel. D&T Farm says that they slowly cool the banana growth cells before thawing them. The “freeze thaw awakening method” has produced a softer, digestible peel. “It was created following research conducted by Setsuzo Tanaka who worked on this for a long time as a

hobby,” a spokesman for the farm said. “The motivation for its development was the fact he wanted to eat a banana that was delicious and safe: people can eat the peel because it is cultivated organically without chemicals.” The bananas are called Mongee bananas, which roughly translates as Incredible bananas. They went on sale last year in a department store in Okayama, which sits roughly halfway between Kyoto and Hiroshima. Before eating, consumers need to wait for little brown spots to appear on the skin, which is a signal that the fruit is ready to be eaten. Tasters say that the peel is thin, doesn’t have much taste, and is “fairly easy to eat.” The banana itself, though, tastes a bit like pineapple. For a bit of convenience you’re going to pay a price. For now, only a small batch is available – and only in Japan as the company has not yet figured out how to export the treat. Oh, and the price? It’s around $6 a piece. For that price I can pay the store to peel a whole bunch for me – and still have money left over for some apples.

Wrong Way Train

Ever think you’re headed in the wrong direction? Well, if you were on the CrossCountry Tran in England heading from Newcastle to Reading last week you were on the express to nowhere. The train ended up in Pontefract – two hours in the wrong direction – after the driver “went the wrong way.” “Currently on a lost train somewhere near Pontefract. We’re stuck because the driver ‘went the wrong way.’ Who knew this was even possible?!” passenger Jeni Harvey tweeted. The hundred or so passengers had to get off in Sheffield and then had to board another train to get to their intended destination. And we thought the LIRR was bad.

The Jewish Home | MAY 31, 2018

PLEASE JOIN US!

ON BEHALF OF THE NEW

Children Development Center IN THE

City of Emanuel

A Haradei Enclave in the hills of Judaea & Samaria

Sunday, June 10, 2018 AT T H E H O M E O F

THE MAYOR OF LAWRENCE

Alex H. Edelman

49 Lawrence Avenue, Lawrence, NY ALEX EDELMAN

9:30AM

MAYOR OF LAWRENCE

Joined by City Officials & Rabbinical Leaders of the Five Towns

• GUESTS FROM ISRAEL •

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CEO of Economic Development & Treasurer of the Emanuel Council

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MAY 31, 2018 | The Jewish Home

Around the

Community Thousands Joined in the Fun at the Achiezer & TJH Community Safety Fair

The Jewish Home | MAY 31, 2018

Around the Community

MAY 31, 2018 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

PHOTO CREDIT: BARRY PICKER

The Jewish Home | MAY 31, 2018

MAY 31, 2018 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

MAY’s Annual Spring Shabbaton

habbos Parshas Naso was particularly noteworthy for the talmidim of Mesivta Ateres Yaakov. The Mesivta held its annual Spring Shabbaton on the beautiful campus of Camp Romimu in Monticello, NY. The Shabbaton was a resounding success, replete with tremendous growth in ruchniyus, achdus, ahavas Hashem and ahavas haTorah. From start to finish, the Shabbaton was an inspiring, exciting and stimulating weekend. S’gan Menahel, Rabbi Yossi Bennett, “kicked off” the Shabbos with inspiring divrei chizuk following Shacharis on Friday morning. Then it was off to the buses for a fun-filled, inspiring, action-packed Shabbos! The Rosh HaYeshiva, Rabbi Mordechai Yaffe, set

the tone for Shabbos and implored talmidim to open their minds and their hearts to what this special Shabbos has to offer. The lively Kabbalas Shabbos, with enthusiastic singing and dancing, was a fitting hakdamah to such a unique Shabbos. The Mesivta invited Rabbi Mordechai Becher, noted speaker and author, as their guest for Shabbos, who spoke five times throughout the Shabbos on intriguing topics in emunah and bechirah captivating talmidim with his encyclopedic knowledge and Australian wit and humor. The leibudikeit, which continued throughout the Shabbos, was unparalleled, with incredible singing and dancing at all meals. Rabbi Becher commented on how impressed he was by the

talmidim of the Mesivta and how their demeanor, their ruach, their interaction with their rabbeim and the Mesivta’s approach to developing its talmidim was simply staggering. As has become a tradition in MAY, the Shabbas kibbudim had been auctioned to the bidders willing to commit to the most learning completed over the course of

the long weekend. Students committed to just under 300 hours of learning outside of the formal shiurim, and the talmidim eagerly honored their rabbeim with the honors. The sheer amount learning throughout the Shabbos, both formally and informally, was a testament to the growth experienced this year throughout the z’man. Particularly noteworthy was

Rabbi Yehoshua Robinson’s 11th grade shiur finishing the entire Masechtas Tamid over the course of the weekend and Rabbi Yehuda Orlansky’s 12th grade shiur participating in a retzifus seder on Motzei Shabbos from 2:30 AM until davening vasikin. Motzei Shabbos included a barbeque Melava Malka, a stirring kumzits, and incredible achdus and comradery among the talmidim and their rabbeim. Another highlight of the Shabbaton took place on Sunday morning, as seven senior talmidim delivered self-prepared chaburos to the younger shiurim and their fellow peers. The Mesivta thanks senior Rebbe Rabbi Yonasan Sprung for helping his talmidim with this undertaking. Lastly, the Mesivta thanks Rabbi Shlomo Drebin for organizing the Shabbaton and Rabbi Shlomo Pfeiffer and Camp Romimu for hosting them.

The Jewish Home | MAY 31, 2018

MAY 31, 2018 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

At the breakfast reception for the Rabenstein Learning Center last Sunday. L-R: Sam Futersak, Nachum Futersak (host), Rav Yaakov Bender, and Shmuel, Peretz and Yaakov Zev Futersak

SKA’s 11th Grade Learns Outside MAGIC at SKA the Classroom

S SKA students dissecting a specimen at the Franklin Institute Science Museum

n an interactive culmination of their year of learning in both science and history, the junior grade of the Stella K. Abraham High School for Girls traveled to Philadelphia on Tuesday, May 22. The 11th graders began their day at the renowned Franklin Institute Science Museum where they participated in hands-on activities – including dissections! The Institute was so engrossing that many students expressed their desire to revisit.

The girls also toured the (unoccupied) Eastern State Penitentiary, once the most famous and expensive prison in the world, which is now an historic site with exhibits and an artist gallery. Incredibly, the prison has a remodeled shul and recently a bar mitzvah was held there! This all-day trip was a valuable opportunity for the SKA students to explore different dimensions of science and history outside of the classroom.

tudents, mentors, family and staff of the Stella K. Abraham High School for Girls gathered on Thursday, May 24, to watch our first annual Magic Mentor presentation. MAGIC (More Active Girls in Computing) is an international organization aimed at increasing the interest of middle and high school students in STEM – science, technology, engineering and mathematics – topics and STEM careers by providing 1:1 mentoring to them over the course of the school year. The five SKA students in the program have been working hard the entire year on a project in science which intrigued them, meeting once a week with their mentors who helped them execute their ideas.

Congratulations to the MAGIC mentees who worked tirelessly throughout the year and presented: Kayla Evans - coded and built a self-rotating base for camera using motion sensors Priva Halpert - developed alcohol detector methods using color changes Atara Israel - analyzed data for drug testing for breast cancer Avigail Razi - developed code to detect origin of replication in bacterial DNA strands Meira Steiner - learned to code to develop a virtual library website Our thanks go to Mrs. Chana Glatt, head of SKA’s Science Department, for arranging and directing this program, and to the mentors who gave so much of their time and knowledge.

The Jewish Home | MAY 31, 2018

Around the Community

BYQ 8th Graders Learn Coding

he eighth grade of the Bais Yaakov of Queens STEM class got their first taste of coding when they began a unit on how to use the processing language. Processing is built on the computer language, Java, and its goal is to allow students to begin programming with immediate visual feedback. The unit started with the girls building a rectangle and border using their knowledge of coordinate geometry learned in their math class. The girls were able to change the size, color and fill of the shape before moving on to triangles, lines, and ellipses. With these skills, students were able to program the computer to draw unique faces of objects by varying the size and placement

of their shapes. With this skill mastered, the language introduces the concept of a loop, in which a process may be completed a number of times. They were also able to write code that allowed them to control movements of the shapes across the screen using the mouse. It was so thrilling and satisfying for them when they were successful; they thoroughly enjoyed experimenting with computer art. The real lessons they learned include that a computer understands only what is typed in the code and how to “debug” their work when the program does not meet its goals. In all, students loved the unit and look forward to coding in the future.

Learn & Live

he mitzvah of bikkurim came to life this past Sunday at the Learn & Live program. Yossie Keilson (of the L&L hotline) presented a most interactive and exciting reenactment of the mitzvah of bikkurim. The boys actually got to “bring bikkurim” and “give” it to the kohen (with waving and all).

This coming Sunday iy”H at L&L: Don’t Stand on the Blood of your Brother.” For more information regarding L&L/Pirchei of Far Rockaway please email us at learnandlivefr@ gmail.com or try our hotline 641715-3800 pin 932191#.

Kol Sasson at Amuka Sometimes, the most painful sound is silence. When the phones have stopped ringing because shadchanim have stopped calling. When the house remains quiet, as the adult children tiptoe about because there are no grandchildren to disrupt the stale monotony. When the heart seems soundless as dreams and wishes seem to have become muted by the passage of time. It’s about time to shatter that silence. As we approach the yahrtzeit of Rabi Yonason ben Uziel, 26 Sivan, the famed tana whose holiness fired up the entire world with Torah and light, we hear a whisper – of hope, of rachamim, of yeshua. After all, generations upon generations of Yidden have been zocheh to find their zivugim after davening at Rabi Yonason ben Uziel’s kever in Amuka. And this year, Kollel Chatzos has

been nominated to serve as shiluchei tzibbur for the many broken-hearted older singles, who are desperately waiting for a shidduch. Kollel representatives will learn all night and then daven at Amuka in their zechus on Friday night and Motzei Shabbos of 26 Sivan. And they will continue to storm shaarei Shamayim for the rest of the year – until the silence is shattered and the kol sasson fills the air. When people are waiting – still. When things are quiet – and still. It takes a little bit to listen and hear an invitation for more Torah, more tefillah – and a yeshua.

MAY 31, 2018 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

BYQ Meets Rabbi Hillel Fox of North Shore Hospital

Save The Date: June 12 Priority-1 Anniversity Dinner

O W

hat a unique learning experience grades 3 through 6 had this week! Imagine, an incredibly busy Rav takes the time to visit and praise Bais Yaakov of Queens girls’ 100th Day of School, 100 Per Cent Chessed Shabbos Kit Project! The Shabbos Kit Project, a unique design of Mrs. Karen Reisbaum, assistant principal general studies, is a pre-packed gift filled with BYQ girls’ handmade items for Shabbos. The BYQ Kit is made to enhance Shabbos for patients and their families who stay over Shabbos. North Shore Hospital is one of many facilities who receive Shabbos Kits made by Bais Yaakov of Queens. Mrs. Sarah Bergman, general studies principal, began the assembly stressing the importance of meaningful learning. “Connecting the 100th day of school with 100 per cent participation in a chessed project makes the learning relevant to their lives!” Rabbi Mordechai Gewirtz, dean, spoke to the girls

about the importance of chessed and how proud he is of their effort. The program continued as the girls viewed a brief video which included a tour of the Bikur Cholim room, the hospital’s guest rooms, and the facility. Some recipients of the Shabbos Kits sent feedback to the girls, letting them know how much their gift meant to them. Mrs. Karen Reisbaum introduced Rabbi Hillel Fox, Long Island’s North Shore Hospital’s chaplain. Rabbi Fox captured their attention with stories of people who receive the Shabbos Kits, the impact it makes on them, and how their mitzvah grows exponentially! Some non-frum patients and their families began to light Shabbos candles and keep Shabbos! The gathering came to a close as Rabbi Fox impressed upon the girls the mitzvah of bikur cholim. He offered amany suggestions on being mindful of friends when they are sick, and most importantly, to be a good listener. BYQ, lessons for life!

n June 12th, Priority-1 will be celebrating 31 years of accomplishment at its anniversary dinner, highlighting the legacy being built in the world of Priority-1 and Yeshiva Zichron Aryeh. Since its inception, Priority-1 has been a leading organization in the field of chinuch, expertly addressing the latest issues facing the Orthodox community. With a diverse range of programs, Priority-1 has significantly helped thousands of parents, educators, and students across a wide range of issues. At the anniversary dinner, we will be honoring: GUESTS OF HONOR Mr. & Mrs. Avraham Burger An alumnus of Yeshiva Zichron Aryeh and the former administrative director of Priority-1, Avraham Burger has served as Rabbi Shaya Cohen’s right-hand man for many years. With keen insight and a great sense of vision, Avraham has left an indelible mark on the yeshiva. Whether he was designing and implementing the yeshiva campus or bringing a fresh perspective on an issue, Avraham has always stood out as a loyal and exemplary advocate. As we look forward towards a long future of collaboration, this dinner is our way of acknowledging what a valuable friend Avraham has been.

YOUNG LEADERSHIP AWARD Mr. & Mrs. Bud Shawel A talmid for many years, Bud has used his warm and magnanimous personality to help spread Torah and strengthen the community at large. From serving his famous “Bud’s Brisket” while hosting weekly shiurim, to attending yeshiva morning seder daily, to generously donating his energy and resources to yeshiva, Bud is a shining example of a young community leader and has earned a place in all of our hearts. ALUMNUS OF THE YEAR AWARD Mr. Meir Nitekman An alumnus and close friend of the yeshiva, Meir Nitekman stands out for his passionate and caring spirit. Friendly, dependable, and resourceful, Meir’s generosity is pleasant beyond imagination. Meir’s sense of responsibility and commitment to helping to spread Torah is a true testament to the values of Yeshiva Zichron Aryeh and we are proud to honor him with the Alumnus of the Year Award. For more information or to make a reservation, please visit priority-1.org/dinner-2018 or call 516-295-5700 x 108.

Lawrence Wins Prestigious Computer Science Scholarship

tern College for Women junior Sarah Gulkowitz of Lawrence, New York, has been awarded the Women in Technology Scholarship by Visionary Integration Professionals. The scholarship was established in 2007 to inspire and unlock the potential of young women pursuing careers in computer science, information technology and other related fields. Out of more than 250 applicants, Gulkowitz was one of just 12 winners who were selected. Applications were evaluated based on academic performance, community service and extracurricular activity involvement, as well as an essay

that each student submitted. “The sponsor of this scholarship, Visionary Integration Professionals, was searching for women who show promise not only in technology, but who also have a commitment to community service,” said Alan Broder, clinical professor and chair of the computer science department at Stern College. “In both respects, Sarah Gulkowitz is very worthy of this recognition, and we are quite proud of her achievement.” “I was always interested in computers and the challenge that came with them,” said Gulkowitz. While computer science has always been one

of her passions, she hadn’t decided to major in it until she attended Stern College: “Taking a course with Professor Broder solidified my decision,” she said. “In computer science, every project and problem brings something new and challenging to the table which allows me to utilize my analytical and problem solving skills.” Broder suggested Gulkowitz apply for the scholarship because of her enthusiasm and accomplishments in the classroom. “In addition, Sarah is strongly committed to ‘giving back’ by the giving of her time as a teaching intern and advocate for computer science education at a Long Island high

school,” Broder said. After graduation, Gulkowitz hopes to pursue a career in computer science in the finance industry.

The Jewish Home | MAY 31, 2018

PRIORITY-1

Anniversary Dinner

Legacy Mr. & Mrs.

AVRAHAM BURGER GUESTS OF HONOR

Mr. & Mrs.

BUD SHAWEL

YOUNG LEADERSHIP AWARD

SHIMON BIBERFELD

Mr.

MEIR NITEKMAN ALUMNUS OF THE YEAR

& URI DREIFUS

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06.12.18 • ON OUR YESHIVA CAMPUS: 1213 BAY 25TH ST., FAR ROCKAWAY, NY 11691 • 7:00 PM COUVERT: $500/COUPLE TO PLACE AN AD OR MAKE A RESERVATION, PLEASE CALL 516-295-5700 X 108 OR GO ONLINE TO PRIORITY-1.ORG/DINNER-2018

MAY 31, 2018 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

Rav Mordechai Groner, rosh yeshiva of Ateres Shimon, speaking to the Mechina grade 8 of Yeshiva Darchei Torah last week

Shevach Students Meet with Hagaon Rav Dovid Feinstein, shlita

hroughout the year Shevach High School has been focusing on the tenets of emunah. Through guest speakers and events such as Yemai Iyun and an inspiring Shabbaton, the students delved into concepts such as “Hashem Hu HaElokim” and “V’arastich li b’emunah,” connecting them to the yud gimmel ikrei emunah we say every day. Through this year’s theme, the power of emunah, both now and in history, has been spotlighted. The program culminated with two major events in May. The first was a special trip for the girls who studied in depth, in addition to

knowing by heart, the yud gimmel ikrei emunah, known as the Rambam’s Ani Maamin. These students spent a day touring Williamsburgh and the Lower East Side. The highlight of this tour was the opportunity to have an audience with Hagaon HaRav Dovid Feinstein, shlita, of Mesivta Tiferes Yerushalayim. The girls were privileged to be in the presence of a gadol as well as receive brachos for yeshuos and refuos. Rabbi Yissocher Ginsburg related stories of Rav Dovid’s humble nature. Senior Atara Linn commented, “It was awe-inspiring to see a gadol who is so humble.” This was definitely an

She answered, “There is nothing more that I want in life than to do this. I want to be a Jew even if it means that I will have to give up my life.” Page 74

experience they will long remember. This trip also provided an opportunity to visit the Bialystoker Shul. In 1905 the building was remodeled into the semblance of the Bialystok Shul in Europe. Sitting in the magnificent shul and learning about its history was a lesson in Yiddishe pride. Senior Bissi Schottenfeld explained, “Learning about such an old shul and visualizing it connects us to our past.” Rabbi Zvi Romm, Rav of the Bialystoker Shul and father of Shevach student Miriam Romm, concluded the presentation with a drasha and divrei chizuk. In recognition of the girls’ devotion to this project they were then treated to brunch at Green’s Restaurant in Williamsburg. This event was sponsored by Tzvi and Devorah Meltzer of the Meltzer Agency as a refuah shleimah for Rochel Leeba bas Devorah Shifrah. The final event of this year’s emunah theme was another Yom Iyun before Shavuos. Spearheaded by Mrs. Debby Meltzer in conjunction with Yom Iyun heads Rivka Adler, Esti Hagler and Adina Rennert, the students were treated to a senior

class choir and a video presentation on the topic. The entire school then heard from Rabbi Yerachmiel Milstein, worldwide lecturer for Project Chazon and grandparent of Zahava Milstein, a senior at Shevach. Rabbi Milstein spoke about the Six Constant Mitzvos, which are the steps to consistent emunah, and in fact the key to success in all areas of life. These are awareness and thought mitzvos that we need to have on our minds constantly. He clearly explained each of them on a very practical level. With anecdotes and appropriate humor, he drove home the idea that emunah leads us to be positive in life, which then brings success our way. Just as a gas pedal propels a car, and a brake halts its progressing in the wrong direction, we need the enthusiasm and positive attitude for life, but also the ability to stop ourselves when necessary. The Shevach students left with a renewed commitment to make the right choices and always stay faced in the right direction. Rabbi Milstein’s words were very inspirational and heartfelt and will surely be integrated into the students’ everyday lives.

The Jewish Home | MAY 31, 2018

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MAY 31, 2018 | The Jewish Home

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Yachad Gala Dinner

achad, the National Jewish Council for Disabilities, a division of the Orthodox Union, will host its annual New York regional gala dinner, held in tribute to disability inclusion pioneers Rabbi Abraham Wahrhaftig, z”l, and Caryn Pollak, as well as in honor of Adira Katlowitz, Young Leadership award recipient. The event will raise funds for crucial inclusion programs for the community and celebrate the dedication of its new Caryn Pollak, a”h, West Hempstead Yachad Chapter, named in memory of a beloved, long-time Yachad member and leader. The NY Yachad Gala dinner will be held on June 11 at 6:00pm at Congregation Beth Shalom, at 390 Broadway in Lawrence, NY. The New York Yachad region continues to grow to meet the needs of individuals with disabilities and their families. Recent developments include the opening of a new Yachad Center in the Five Towns, which houses an elementary school, adult day program, parent support groups, Sunday morning Torah learning, and space for social recreational programming. Also, an additional chapter was opened and a coordinator added in the Riverdale community. NY Yachad currently serves hundreds of families across Long Island, Rockland, Westchester, and the five boroughs of New York City. “Yachad is proud to con-

al Yachad from 2009-2011. Adira has been a member of Team Yachad since 2009, running with the inaugural team, and has gone on to run 11 races with Team Yachad both in the U.S. and Israel. Most recently, Adira has been involved in the Friends of Yachad young leadership initiative. Rabbi Abraham Wahrhaftig, z”l, was a member of the Jewish Studies faculty at Flatbush Yeshiva, a director of Camp Morasha and

The Pollak family

tinue to expand the services, programs and support to the disabilities community throughout NY and beyond,” said Rabbi Ahron Rosenthal, Director of Yachad NY. “We listen to the families and communities talk about their needs, and then work to provide our unique offerings to promote the inclusion of all individuals, no matter their abilities.” About the Honorees Adira Katlowitz has been involved with Yachad since 2001, attending numerous Shabbatonim, Sunday trips and chagigot throughout the NY area. She joined Yad B’Yad as both a camper and a

Rabbi Wahrhaftig

Adira Katlowitz

counselor and was the coordinator for the Rayim Brooklyn chapter from 2008-2009 and the coordinator for Nation-

Did our daughter’s year in Israel take away her personality? Page 90

the principal of the Kushner Yeshivah High School. A scholar and avid reader, Rabbi Wahrhaftig was committed to creating informal Torah educational opportunities for all – from students to seniors – and as a camp director was the first to open his camp to youth with developmentally disabilities, spearheading Yachad inclusion summer programs which now serve many children and young adults in over 25 programs in the United States and Israel. West Hempstead native Caryn Pollak, a”h, was not only a vibrant member of the Yachad community, but a catalyst for its creation. Caryn participated in virtually every Yachad Shabbaton, trip and summer camp that followed, making lifelong friendships

with Yachad participants as well as advisors. Over time, she became Yachad’s spokesperson, accompanying Yachad staff members as they traveled to promote the program in shuls and Jewish day schools throughout the county... “Caryn made sure we never forgot; simply because she was one of us,” says Dr. Jeff Lichtman, International Director of Yachad. “She was a constant reminder of what is important. She was genuinely happy to have a job she liked, and the family, friends and community she loved. In the best ways possible, she represented all of this population’s potential talents and abilities. If there was a face to Yachad, Caryn was it.” [Excerpted from a Fall 2017 Jewish Action article by Bayla Sheva Brenner] Yachad, The National Jewish Council for Disabilities, a division of the Orthodox Union, is a thriving global organization dedicated to addressing the needs of all Jewish individuals with disabilities and ensuring their inclusion in every aspect of Jewish life. Its inclusive design aims to ensure persons with diverse abilities their rightful place within the Jewish community, while helping to educate and advocate for a greater understanding, acceptance, outreach, and a pro-disability attitude. Please join Yachad on June 11th at Beth Shalom in Lawrence in recognition of those who have given of themselves to further the mission of inclusion of individuals with disabilities and support their efforts to continuing to meet the needs of the Jewish community. To make reservations for the dinner please visit www. yachad.org/nygala2018 or email bergmand@ou.org for more information.

The Jewish Home | MAY 31, 2018

presents

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RSVP APPRECIATED, BUT NOT REQUIRED • BARBARA EXT. 6113 • BSATT@JCCRP.ORG

MAY 31, 2018 | The Jewish Home

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Metamorphosis Comes Alive at YOSS ECC

HaRav Kolodetsky Inspires

PHOTO CREDIT: IVAN H NORMAN

hile “metamorphosis” may be a big word for preschool children, the boys in Yeshiva of South Shore’s Early Childhood Center got to experience it firsthand. The talmidim welcomed caterpillars to their classrooms shortly after Pesach and were amazed to observe their transformation into butterflies. The morahs at YOSS have also

been tracking the individual transformations of each child in their classrooms, as the young boys have become “little men” while preparing for the next grade. Their morahs have given them the nutrients (knowledge and ideas), care, food (for thought), as well as problem solving skills, self-esteem, and most importantly, a love for Torah. All this to help them spread their wings...and fly!

Trip Day at DRS

t DRS, the student activities department is always looking for ways to help foster friendships and build camaraderie amongst students. Shabbatonim, tisches, melave malkas, and meals at rabbeim’s houses all contribute to this goal. Another annual highlight at DRS is the Annual Trip Day, in which students have a chance to spend time with each other outside of the school. Last Thursday, freshmen, sophomores and juniors all participated in the annual Trip Day. The freshmen enjoyed a day at Rings Homestead, where they competed in games of paintball, and also took part in

team-building obstacle course exercises. The sophomores spent the day white-water rafting the rapids of the Lehigh River. The juniors traveled to the Long Island Adventures Ropes Course where they overcame various obstacles in a grueling, exciting, and physical ropes course, hundreds of feet in the air. The trips ended with dinners at 550 restaurant and Noah’s Ark in Teaneck. The day was a great experience that strengthened student and rebbe relationships, and helped bolster the theme on which DRS stands for: building a strong sense of achdut throughout the school.

kinus for tefillah and especially for shidduchin was held at TAG in Far Rockaway this week. The guest speaker was HaRav HaGaon Yitzchok Kolodetsky from Eretz Yisroel. He is the son-in-law of HaGaon HaRav Kanievsky. Because HaKadosh Boruch Hu wants our prayers, all brachos come down through tefillah and Hashem wants to have a personal connection with us which comes through tefillah. He urged the gathering to be mekabel Shabbos ten minutes earlier than the zman. It is an eis ratzon to daven for your needs and to receive yeshuos. HaRav Kolodetsky was introduced by Rabbi Meyer Weitman, Dean of TAG. The translation was given by Rabbi Elazar Ruzhorsky.

National Merit Scholar at DRS

RS is proud of senior Tzvi Heimowitz, who first qualified as a winner for the National Merit Scholarship, and then was awarded a National Merit Scholarship. This is an extremely rare and prestigious honor, and it reflects the high level of education that DRS strives to deliver, as well as the level of commitment and work achieved by Tzvi. The National Merit Scholarship Program is a United States academic scholarship competition for recogni-

tion and college scholarships administered by National Merit Scholarship Corporation, a privately funded, nonfor-profit organization. Each year a total of approximately 8,000 scholarships are awarded through NMSC programs, which represents less than 1% of the initial pool of entrants. Students who qualify as a Finalist have an outstanding academic record, are endorsed and recommended by a school officials, and earn extremely high PSAT scores. 50% of all finalists are awarded this special scholarship.

The Jewish Home | MAY 31, 2018

INSPIRING JEWS ... ONE BOOK AT A TIME

F RO M

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His vision, wisdom, and warmth lit up the world by Yisroel Besser Many of us know the story of how Meir Zlotowitz, a young graphic artist, started a company — and a Torah revolution — called ArtScroll. 4What was the secret of Rabbi Zlotowitz’s phenomenal success? 4How did he establish relationships with the greatest Torah luminaries of the time? 4What role did his rebbi, Rav Moshe Feinstein, play? 4Most important of all: How did he maintain his care and concern for every individual, while devoting himself so wholeheartedly to the entire Jewish people? This book is a masterpiece that will inspire you to reach out and change the world — while investing yourself in those closest to you — your family and friends. It’s a story of one man’s courage, his vision, and his unwavering faith in the Jewish People and their Torah. Dedicated by the Jaffa family

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Available at your local Hebrew bookseller or at www.artscroll.com • 1-800-MESORAH (637-6724)

MAY 31, 2018 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

Lawrence-Cedarhurst Memorial Day Parade

The Jewish Home | MAY 31, 2018

Around the Community

GOSR SERVICES: Case Management- GOSR Case Managers can coordinate services to the following: Kosher Food Pantry SNAP Enrollment NOEP (education to increase aware ness and participation in the underutilized SNAP, Summer Food Service Program, and School Breakfast Program in New York State) Medical Insurance Enrollment (Medicaid, Medicare, Child Health Plus, Essential Plan and other Qualified Health Plans available through the New York State of Health Marketplace) Mental Health Counseling and Career Counseling Crisis Intervention

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MAY 31, 2018 | The Jewish Home

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A Mishkan on Campus

wo fourth grade classes at Yeshiva Darchei Torah used a creative method to demonstrate the actual size of the Mishkan – themselves! They are currently learning the associated parshios in class.

Rav Shalom Rosen’s class models the entire Chatzer (courtyard) of the Mishkan (photo above and below)

Rav Eliahu Milstein’s class models the Ohel Moed

MTA’s Julius Wrubel Beis Medrash Katan Program

he Julius Wrubel Beis Medrash Katan program at MTA provides qualified seniors with an exceptionally intensive learning experience, thereby transitioning them into the world of Beis Medrash learning in which they will continue to thrive in Eretz Yisrael, at Yeshiva University, and other mekomos haTorah thereafter. Talmidim are exposed to the very best of the tradi-

tional yeshiva atmosphere and study at a level not often made available to high school students. Talmidim learn in the YU Beis Medrash, where they spend most of their mornings preparing for shiur under the close guidance of Rabbi Tanchum Cohen. The program is generously sponsored by Deena and Harvey Wrubel, in memory of Harvey’s father, Julius Wrubel, for whom the program is

named. “I am inspired by the young men whose dedication to Torah scholarship has been an inspiration to me and my entire family,” said Mr. Wrubel. “It is a zechus to have this program bear the name of my father, a”h.” Mr. Wrubel joined the JWBMK talmidim, as well as Rabbi Tanchum Cohen, Head of School Rabbi Joshua Kahn, and Rosh Yeshiva Rabbi Michael Taubes, for their end-of-year

siyum and seudah to commemorate his father’s yahrtzeit. “We are grateful to the Wrubel family for their support of this unique program, which gives our talmidim an unparalleled Torah learning experience,” said Rabbi Kahn. “By participating in the program, our talmidim are prepared for life-long, intensive Torah learning.”

The Jewish Home | MAY 31, 2018

MAY 31, 2018 | The Jewish Home

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You Would Never Picture Him Learning Torah. Would You? By Dovid Kahn

t began as a packed room overflowing with close to 200 strangers. We stood at a crossroads, not knowing where life would take us. We were on the brink of a journey that would take until 4:45a.m. to unfold. Somehow our destinies became intertwined. As I looked around the room I saw eyes filled with fascination, amusement and awe. The energy level was sky-high. BJX has successfully smashed through the 21st century glass ceiling of a culture that is relentlessly focused on technology and materialism. “Growing up in a largely secular family, Shavuos was a holiday that was swept to the side. Maybe it is because the yom tov does not have any specific mitzvot associated with it. We do not set up a makeshift shack, eat matzah, or blow the shofar. I heard from students at various classes that BJX would be having an all-star lineup of Torah scholars inspiring and educating community members throughout the night. BJX delivered on their promise,” said Eric Goldstein. Rav Mordechai Twerski, shlita, one of the featured speakers, said, “It was truly inspiring to see the thirst for Torah alive and strong at BJX. Seeing how many seekers of Torah stayed up throughout the night is a confirma-

tion of the truth and viability of Torah and nishmas Yisroel.” “With an impressive slate of educators and a fully engaged audience, I did not even need any of the ample supply of coffee to keep me awake,” said Eric. The night kicked off with a fascinating discussion by Rav Yitzchok Fingerer, shlita. A unique maggid shiur, his derech halimud gracefully guides less affiliated and frum Jews how to think, how to learn, and how to grow. “Everything was about the Torah yet the evening had so much diversity, balance and vitality!” Sam enthused. Rav Fingerer, shlita, is a passionate defender of the truth with a unique knack for applying his exhaustive knowledge in new ways, making con-

nections between Gemara, the Arizal, Sefas Emes, Maharal, halacha and mussar that might not be apparent at first glance. “Following the Rav’s fascinating shiur, esteemed lecturer and speaker Rabbi Daniel Mechanic, director of Project Chazon, spoke about his insightful and oftentimes hilarious interactions with Jews in Hollywood including cultural icons Kirk Douglas and Larry David. Rabbi Mechanic had the audience roaring with laughter as he detailed the intricacies of the conversations he had with these stars, ranging from the Divine Truth of Judaism to the minutiae of tearing toilet paper on Shabbos,” said Eric. “Following these shiurim, the distinguished Hornosteipel Rebbe gave

a moving speech on how to maintain real relationships. Subsequently, Professor Rovt spoke on the discrepancies in Christianity and methods to combat the ubiquitous missionaries,” shared Eric. “I initially walked into a strange and foreign synagogue. But everything was interconnected in ways that were once beyond my awareness.” Rabbi Moshe Fingerer, devoted Menahel of BJX, took the floor right before sunrise and wished everyone Mazel Tov on learning all night and upon our forthcoming marriage to the Torah. He empowered and reinvigorated the packed room with mystical and practical benefits of staying up all night engrossed in Torah study. John experienced his first Shavuos. “Shavuot with BJX was beautiful, holy, and inspiring. Just walking in and seeing so many people of different backgrounds and different levels of religion was so amazing, that you could feel the holy presence as soon as you came in. For someone who was keeping the holiday for the first time, BJX didn’t just make me feel comfortable, but I felt like I was in my second home. May Rabbis Yitzchok and Moshe Fingerer continue to inspire and bring in so many people closer and closer to the truth and to Hashem,” said John.

Emunah of America Women of Wonder

n May 14, a mild and beautiful spring evening, EMUNAH OF AMERICA held its WOW event honoring Women of Wonder. EMUNAH paid tribute to three remarkable women: Sharie Loeffler Leopold, Managing Director of Leveraged Finance; Dr. Janine Nathan, Fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics; and Shevy Solomon, CMO and Investor Relations officer at Jerrick Media Hold-

ings. The cocktail reception was held at the WEWORK speakeasy, the Mailroom, on Wall Street. Over 200 people came out to support EMUNAH and the honorees. The three honorees do indeed “do it all.” At the top of their fields, involved with their families and communities, they totally exemplify the modern woman of wonder. The evening’s keynote speaker was Sandra Stern, president of Li-

The Dangers of Vaping Page 102

onsgate Television group and a highly respected entertainment executive powerhouse. For the past fifteen years, Sandra has played an integral role in guiding Lionsgate to record breaking growth. She is also one of the founding members of the UCLA Law Women organization and was the 2015 UCLA Law Alumnus of the Year. She has been an inspiration and mentor to so many that everyone present felt fortunate to hear her speak about her personal story and values. Sandra spoke about the “wonder of women” and said, “For me, the most important quality of being a Woman of Wonder is a sense of integrity and a passion for excellence – trying a little harder, demanding a little more of myself, never settling for anything less than my best... We are all Wonder Women with the power to

transform the lives of those around us.” What an appropriate message for an EMUNAH OF AMERICA evening of celebration. For seventy years, EMUNAH has been one of Israel’s leading women’s social services agencies, culminating in being awarded the coveted Israel Prize. Beginning with a handful of women who believed that they could help and nurture Israel’s most fragile citizens, EMUNAH women built a “Kingdom of Chesed” encompassing vast educational and social services throughout Israel. Like the women honored at the evening’s event, EMUNAH is a testament to what women can achieve when they work with determination and skill and love. The only suitable adjective is certainly WOW.

The Jewish Home | MAY 31, 2018

MAY 31, 2018 | The Jewish Home

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Arista Installation and Awards Night at MAY

ast Wednesday evening, Mesivta Ateres Yaakov held its annual Arista Installation and Awards Night where tribute was paid to the myriad accomplishments of the talmidim at MAY. The program was particularly special as it commemorates Rabbi Elchonon Zomber, z”l, an alumnus and veteran teacher at MAY. The Zomber family graciously endowed the MAY Arista Society in his honor. Consistent with MAY’s emphasis on developing all of each talmid, excellence in many areas was recognized: Limudei Kodesh, Middos, Tefilah, Academics, Athletics, Extracurricular Activities and Community Service. Rabbi Mordechai Yaffe, Rosh HaYeshiva, introduced the program focusing on the small acts of greatness performed by the talmidim at MAY that can often go unnoticed and how the Mesivta not only engenders these acts, but publicly recognizes these boys as well. The first order of the night was the installation of the incoming Student Government under the helm of incoming President Yudi Gross. Yudi addressed the close to 400 attendees, and thanked the hanhalla and rabbeim who guided him and his fellow students to the achievements being celebrated that evening. He noted how the Mesivta’s confidence in its talmidim is what propels them to excellence, while maintaining its signature warm atmosphere. Awards were then presented to

over 100 students for excellence and progress in a wide variety of areas. Rabbi Yaffe was joined by General Studies Principal Rabbi Sam Rudansky and Assistant Menahel/Assistant Principal Rabbi Yossi Bennett in presenting these awards. Rabbi Sam Rudansky, general studies principal, commented, “The evening serves as an opportunity to recognize those students who excel in different areas of the high school experience. That may range from academics for some, to community service, extracurricular activities and even athletics for others. It’s an evening of tremendous nachas for parents and grandparents.” The evening closed with the installation of over 80 Arista honors students and the recitation of the Arista pledge led by incoming Arista President Shlomo Burg followed by refreshments. Mazel tov!

The Jewish Home | MAY 31, 2018

MAY 31, 2018 | The Jewish Home

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RCCS Chain of Events

ast Sunday, May 27, RCCS, under the leadership of its Five Towns campaign chairman Shlomo Weiss, held its second event in the Chain of Events campaign, the annual Cedarhurst event at the home of Yossi and Deena Eisenberger. Even the torrential downpours couldn’t put a damper on this amazing event, as many members of the Cedarhurst community came out in support of this great organization. The Eisenbergers, in their selfless and giving nature, opened their beautiful home to the families and patients of RCCS,

and the brunch was a true kiddush Hashem as throngs of people, including many of the local rabbanim, came out in support of this special mossad. The brunch featured a lavish and grand breakfast buffet. Additionally, Zelig Steiner and the Cogs entertained the crowd with soulful melodies and some of their own compositions. What made the event truly memorable were the heartfelt words of Rabbi Yaakov Feitman, Mora D’asrah of Kehillas Bais Yehudah Tzvi. Rabbi Feitman told the crowd of his own firsthand knowledge of the impact

that RCCS has had on the Cedarhurst community and implored the crowd to support this worthy organization. RCCS currently services over 2,300 patients throughout the world with a budget of almost 9 million dollars – over $220,000 expended in the Five Towns alone. The goal of the Chain of

Events campaign is to not only bring in much needed funds to this great organization but to also provide awareness to the community of the available services that RCCS provides. To find out more information about RCCS, please visit rccscancer. org.

FD NOW to Host 16th Annual David Z. Herman Memorial Dinner

hirteen and half years ago, our lives changed forever three weeks after our twin girls were born, when we were told that our baby daughter had Familial Dysautonomia (FD). FD is a progressive disorder caused by a genetic mutation that is primarily found in Ashkenazi Jews. A life-threatening neurological disorder, FD affects every body system and its sufferers live in very unstable bodies. We were devastated to learn the prognosis and felt helpless in the face of what was to come for our baby girl. Thank G-d, very soon after, our uncle found Dr. Berish Rubin, the head of the L for Familial Dysautonomia Research in Fordham University. Together with Dr. Sylvia Anderson, the Director of the Lab, Dr. Rubin had discovered the gene mutation that causes FD and began research on treatments for FD that followed from that discovery. We immediately began giving our baby girl the recommended treatments. It was the best decision we ever

made. Within a few weeks, our daughter stopped sweating profusely and we saw more moisture in her eyes. With guidance from a feeding therapist, we learned to thicken bottles and she began to eat without coughing on each sip. From deep despair we quickly had hope, as our beautiful girl continued to progress and develop. Over the years, our daughter has endured her share of “FD ups and downs.” There were febrile seizures and breath-holdings, swallowing difficulties and food- or infection-related crises, speech, occupational, physical and feeding therapy, scoliosis, eye abrasions, as well as several hospitalizations. However, with the introduction of a strict diet and each new treatment discovered by the Laboratory for Familial Dysautonomia Research, our daughter became crisis-free and her body became more stable and much stronger. In two weeks, with G-d’s help, we will watch both of our twin girls graduate eighth grade. It is dream we

never thought would happen all those years ago. Our daughter with FD is bubbly, charming, fun-loving and has a heart of gold. She is excited to move on to the next chapter of her life in high school and, most importantly, she enjoys her life! FD NOW is a volunteer organization made up of families and friends of those with FD. Funds raised by FD NOW provide the sole support for the Lab for FD Research. As our story indicates, that research has been successful and lifesaving! Since 2003, Dr. Rubin and Dr. Anderson have made eight treatment breakthroughs, each of which has made a drastic improvement in the overall health and quality of life of those with FD. FD NOW is committed to keeping the lab running and without sufficient funds, research will come to a halt. We need a cure for our children before time runs out! On June 7, 2018, FD NOW is excited to host its 16th Annual David Z.

Herman Memorial Dinner at the Sephardic Temple in Cedarhurst, NY. Marilyn and Jack Sherman are dear and devoted friends who have been supporters of FD NOW for many years. We are so pleased to have them as our guests of honor at this year’s dinner to pay tribute to their years of commitment to our children. We also honor Emily Slaw, sister to an individual with FD, with the 4th Annual Philip Bach Memorial “Special Person” Award for her devotion to her brother and support of all those with FD. Featuring a raffle as well as entertainment and good food, the evening promises to be uplifting and fun. Please join us to see firsthand how scientific research has saved the lives of Jewish children afflicted with FD. To register for the dinner or for more information, please visit our website at fdnow.org or email fdnowny@gmail.com.

The Jewish Home | MAY 31, 2018

Around the Community

“Like a Kid in a Candy Store!” A Report on the 2018 AAO Orthodontic Convention By Dr. Jonathan Paley

e all know how vital it it is to get a solid education. As parents, we encourage our kids to excel in their studies so that they can get into good colleges and graduate schools and ultimately be able to enjoy successful careers in their chosen field. But it doesn’t stop there. Many underestimate the important role that continuing education plays in our professional lives. As advances in technology explode and the materials and methods for orthodontic treatment evolve, it is critical that orthodontists stay on top of these developments via further coursework and exploration. Of course, knowledge complements years of clinical experience; the acquired information enhances the ability of an experienced practitioner to finetune his/her craft and provide the best care possible for his/her patients. New York State education law requires dentists to complete 60 hours of continuing education over a three year period. Though some of those hours

can be completed via self-study or recorded lectures, the majority must be via live courses. These can be online webinars or classes given by accredited sponsors. Though these venues can offer stimulating and interesting subject material, nothing is quite like joining the annual national orthodontic convention with over 17,000 attendees! My partner, Dr. Susan Friedman, and I have recently returned from the 2018 AAO convention in Washington, D.C., the largest gathering of orthodontists in the world. We enjoyed choosing from over 200 lectures offered by the leading experts on our field, covering the scientific and clinical aspects of orthodontic treatment, as well as today’s best business practices. But perhaps more significantly, we met countless fellow orthodontists and their staffs, joining up with old friends and meeting colleagues from around the world. We shared insights on the emerging trends in our profession, sharing innovative “clinical pearls” with one another. We also spent many hours on the exhibit floor, traveling up and down the aisles, experiencing new technol-

ogies up close and enjoying hands-on demonstrations. For me, this was the most exciting part of the convention! I truly felt like a kid in a candy store, struggling to decide where to spend my time, savoring every minute exploring the hundreds of exhibits and stalls. In particular this year, we investigated some new alternatives to Invisalign, with other leading ortho companies taking advantage of expiring patents and emerging with competing alternatives. We also examined the latest in mini-braces, 3D printing and temporary implants that can help orthodontists move teeth in ways they have never been moved before! The lectures given on mutiple tracks throughout the day covered every aspect of orthodontic treatment, from early interceptive care to adult surgical/orthodontic correction, from the relationship of airway obstruction

JONATHAN PALEY, DDS, CERT. ORTHO.

to orthodontic problems to the advanced management of impacted canine teeth. Here as well, the problem was deciding which lecture to attend! Fortunately, the AAO offers most presentations in a recorded format so that you can purchase a digital copy to be viewed after the conference. I was able to squeeze in a dinner with a congressman friend at the single kosher restaurant in D.C. and even scored an invite to a senate luncheon where a friend from the Five Towns was being honored. All in all, it was a memorable and educational trip and we look forward to implementing all of what we learned into our community practice. And now, our quest for knowledge continues! I look forward to reporting from this week’s 2-day CE course in Tel Aviv, the First ORMCO Meditteranean Forum. Gotta keep on learning!

SUSAN FRIEDMAN, DDS, CERT. ORTHO.

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MAY 31, 2018 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

Names Not Numbers at HALB

his past week our eighth graders presented the culmination of their year-long, Names Not Numbers project. Names, Not Numbers is a unique Holocaust oral history documentary project in which the students themselves collect oral histories of survivors and create a film based on this experience. As part of the project, there are sessions related to Holocaust education, interviewing techniques, and videography. At the end of the project, the culminating event is a dinner in which the students' film is shown; it is then archived in Yad Vashem and the National Library of Israel. The eighth grade girls shown in this picture are standing with Jack Rybstein, a 93-year-old survivor who lives across the street from our

HALB Woodmere campus. Mr. Rybstein, along with the other survivors who were interviewed, may have

been treated by the Nazis as mere numbers. But through the efforts of our HALB eighth graders, under the

leadership of Mrs. Marjorie Wein and Morah Eliana Abbe, their names will long be remembered.

Shulamith Students and Quorum Stylists are a Cut Above

ight very special young ladies from Shulamith School for Girls entered Quorum Salon last Thursday to take part in a wonderful mitzvah. They each cut off 10 or more inches of their lovely locks to donate to Zichron Menachem, an organization in Israel that provides support for children with cancer. Their hair will be used to make wigs for children who have lost theirs to cancer treatments. For the third year in a row, Anthony, Davy, and the stylists at the Central Avenue Salon graciously provided this service for free. Each of our intrepid young ladies was made to feel beautiful by the restyling of their

now shorter hair and the incredible positive impact their donations will make on children undergoing treatment. The students were delighted when their principal, Mrs. Rookie Billet, arrived at the salon to donate her own hair! Mrs. Billet said, “I was inspired by the girls who participated last year and decided then to grow my hair so that I could participate this year.” At Monday’s event, the girls were accompanied by Rachel Steiner, Director of Student Activities and coordinator of the event, and by their moms. We are proud and inspired by these selfless young ladies, who gave of themselves to help others!

The Jewish Home | MAY 31, 2018

POOL DA No wo6/24-8/1T9ES: ens 8/16m ,8/17,swim on 8/18

MAY 31, 2018 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

Camp Dora Golding Springs into Summer with a Brand New Basketball Gymnasium

n the beautiful Pocono Mountains, Camp Dora Golding has awakened from its winter slumber and is gearing up for an awesome summer ahead. Preparations for summer 2018 are well underway, and campers and staff alike are eagerly crossing the days of their calendars in anticipation for what lies ahead. This year, Camp Dora Golding is stepping it up a notch, with plans to unveil a brand new, state-of-the-art basketball gymnasium! The gym is in its final stages of construction and is really starting to take shape. Binyamin Daiches, assistant director, reports, “With three major snowstorms, we definitely had a rough March, but we have a great group of guys working up there and are still on schedule for an early June completion.” The basketball gym will boast official glass blackboards and a professional basketball floor, as well as a digital scoreboard, stadium style bleachers and a high-tech sound system. The gym will be added to Camp Dora Golding’s already extensive sports facilities including a professional football field with a running track and goal posts, tennis courts, baseball

diamonds, hockey rinks, and so much more. “We pride ourselves on offering an exceptional athletics program and are incredibly excited about this new addition to our facility,” says Camp Director Alex Gold. “Camp opens a whole new world to the boys, one in which they have the opportunity to explore their passion for various sports alongside their friends, in a fun-filled Torah environment.” Camp Dora Golding’s impressive athletics program involves clinics and

sessions run by experienced coaches. Campers are taught to play various sports, hone their skills and improve their overall game – not to mention the great friendships that flourish between the boys through leagues, tournaments and clinics. Sports Director Avi Polatoff is excited about camp’s newest addition. “The new court will offer campers the professional basketball experience, and allow their skills to further develop,” he says. It sounds like the basketball gym is the perfect

facility to complete Camp Dora Golding’s elite athletics package. Camp Dora Golding provides campers with an action-packed, magic filled summer experience, creating memories that last a lifetime. Registration for summer 2018 is sold out, further proof that Camp Dora Golding is definitely “THE PLACE TO BE” this summer! For further information please visit www.campdoragolding.com.

YOSS Pirkei Avos Learn and Live Initiative

ver 20,000 mishnayos. Yes, that is the number of mishnayos learned in memory of Rav Binyamin Kamenetzky, zt”l, by more than 150 5th-8th grade boys in Yeshiva of South Shore. They were not scattered mishnayos, rather the mishnayos in Pirkei Avos, reinforcing the middos tovos and fine character traits that Rav Binyamin wove into the fabric of YOSS. Each grade saw volunteers excitedly jump at the opportunity to learn and complete the Pirkei Avos cycle by Shavuos. Armed with a beautiful embroidered Pirkei Avos, given to them by the Yeshiva, the boys spent their Shabbos afternoons, evenings and free time to lift the holy neshama of Rav Binyamin while learning how to live as a G-d fearing Jew. The participants were then treated to a gala breakfast held in Yeshiva, celebrating their accomplishments and the life of Rav Binyamin. Rabbi

Mordechai Kamenetzky shared stories of Rav Binyamin’s unwavering

dedication to Torah and his beautiful middos that made him beloved by

all. It was a meaningful experience the boys will remember.

The Jewish Home | MAY 31, 2018

Around the Community

Recognizing Accomplishments at Upcoming Gesher Dinner

he Gesher Early Childhood Center will hold its first annual dinner this coming Thursday evening, June 7. The theme of the dinner is “Raising the Bar,” recognizing the influence that Gesher has had on chinuch in our community over the last six years and setting the tone for future expectations. Consistent with that theme, Gesher is proud to recognize the communal influence of this year’s honorees. The Parents of the Year are Yossi and Devory Davidson. Both were raised in Brooklyn, but for over a decade have found their home to be in the Five Towns. Yossi works in the real estate industry, locally and out of town. Devory devotes her time to her family and to the community. They are very profoundly involved in their shul, Congregation Ahavas Yisroel, under the leadership of Rabbi Daniel Glatstein. Their Kehilla is dynamic and growing, and the Davidson family is a central force in that development. The Davidson’s other children attend TAG and Yeshiva Ketana of LI. Yossi and Devory are well regarded by their friends and family for their dedication to chinuch as well as for many other communal matters. The Guests of Honor at this year’s

Yossi and Devory Davidson

Daniel and Shayna Klein

dinner are Daniel and Shayna Klein. Daniel was raised in Teaneck. After graduating from Yeshiva University, he received his Medical degree from the Einstein School of Medicine. Currently, Daniel is a neuro-radiologist at Staten Island University Hospital. Shayna was raised in Woodmere and attended HAFTR, SKA, and Stern College. Her family, the Waldmans, are highly regarded community activists. They enjoy a very close relationship with Rabbi Billet of the Young Israel of Woodmere. The Young Israel is one of the many institutions that the Waldman family has been intimately involved with in our neighborhood. Shayna received her nursing degree from NYU Nursing School. Having spent many years as a practicing nurse, Shayna now devotes her time to their growing family, while spend-

ing the summers as the nurse in Camp Sternberg. The Kleins are strongly connected to Yagdil, under the direction of Rabbi Ariel Edelstein, and to the Yeshiva Gedolah of the Five Towns led by Rabbi Moshe Zev Katzenstein. Their other children attend Yeshiva Darchei Torah and Bnos Bais Yaakov. The Davidson and Klein families are representative of the appeal that Gesher has generated in its six year history. The Gesher educational model, employing concentrated collaboration and individualized learning planning, has drawn families from every section of the neighborhood. That affect is attributed to the dedication and vision of the administration and faculty. Gesher has set new standards of expectation in an

early childhood classroom and has raised the bar for supporting children and their families. Sara Leah Jaffe has been a part of the Gesher team since inception. Originally as an exceptional classroom teacher, she has transitioned seamlessly into the role of Assistant Director. Mrs. Jaffe will be receiving the Leadership in Education Award. Coming from a family deeply invested in chinuch and communal interests, she has an infectious passion for helping her students. A constant learner, Morah Sara Leah proactively seeks out new methods, resources, and techniques for zoning in on every aspect of a child’s development. She places great value on collaboration, ensuring that all those who influence the child’s growth will be as effective as possible. As one parent said, “She doesn’t simply deserve the recognition, really she defines Leadership in Education.” Gesher is proud of its reputation a leading resource of chinuch in our community and looks forward to continue to raise the bar. To place journal ads or to make dinner reservations please visit gesher-ecc.org or call 516-730-7377.

WayFind Talks Careers to Seniors at TMM and TAG

ayFind, the education and career guidance service geared towards the frum community, had the opportunity to speak to the seniors at TAG last week and at TMM the week before about the major life decisions that confront them after high school. WayFind joined TMM’s career night on Tuesday, May 15 at the Ateres Nechama Liba Simcha Hall where the girls congregated in small groups and spoke with various different professionals about what they do. WayFind presented to the girls the importance of understanding their inherent strengths and how this knowledge should guide them in choosing a career and set themselves up for success. WayFind visited TAG High

School on May 24. Adele Dubin and Natasha Srulowitz, co-founders of WayFind, conducted a 90-minute workshop with 87 seniors about careers as one of the major life decisions that will confront them after high school. In today’s world there are so many more career choices to consider than existed for their parents. The theme was: How does one decide? What should be considered in choosing the right career path? Adele and Natasha discussed how to arrive at a decision, using individual strengths, interests and values and what types of careers match these different characteristics. They encouraged the girls not to be too shortsighted in choosing a career. Finishing school in a short time may be very important given

how quickly many girls get married and start families but they need to know the full range of available options to increase the likelihood of choosing the right schooling in a field they will enjoy and excel in. We all know too many people who are not practicing in the field they got their education in. No one has the time or money to waste. It is a worthwhile investment to take a step back before you take two steps forward to explore one’s strengths, understand what career options are available and choose wisely. A job is not just a way to spend your day – it impacts how you get up in the morning and how you come home to your family. When you feel good about yourself, you have more to give to your spouse, your children, and your community.

Adele and Natasha work individually with young people to identify that ideal career path. They offer a three-session career package that is exploratory and informative. The process includes a variety of assessments, a customized roadmap, guided homework, and a decision framework that empowers each client to understand the tradeoffs and make a career decision. Through a grant provided by the JCCRP, WayFind offers these sessions free of charge for a limited time to clients who qualify. If you are interested in more information, or organizing an informational session in your area, call WayFind at (516) 253 1147 or visit www.wayfindcareers.com.

MAY 31, 2018 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community The Siach Yitzchok Bike-a-thon was held on Monday on Healy Avenue in Bayswater

The Jewish Home | MAY 31, 2018

MAY 31, 2018 | The Jewish Home

FINAL STRETCH

HELP BRING THIS BEAUTIFUL BASTION OF CHINUCH TO THE FINISH LINE

BUILDING

CA M PA I G N

An opportunity for partnership!

This is a historic opportunity to partner

with Siach Yitzchak and earn a share in its perpetual impact on the future of Klal Yisroel!

For 38 years, Siach Yitzchok, under the leadership of its dedicated Menahel, Rav Dovid Sitnick, has been a dynamic chinuch anchor of our community. The Yeshiva’s pioneering chinuch achievements are part of the beautiful spectrum of the Five Towns/Far Rockaway community’s essence and identity.

The Jewish Home | MAY 31, 2018

‫ה ב נ י ן‬

‫ז ה‬

‫ה ש ל ם‬

Dedication Opportunities Cheshek Shlomo Building Dedication ........ $2,000,000 Junior High School Name ...................... $1,000,000 Early Childhood Learning Dedication ...... $1,000,000 Bais HaMedrash Name ..................... $360,000 Reserved Main Entrance ..................................................... $360,000 Dining Hall / Auditorium .................................. $360,000 Harav Shlomo Freifeld zt”l Memorial Wall ...... $250,000 Founders Wall in Main Lobby ..................... $250,000 Gymnasium .......................................................... $250,000 Kitchen ............................................................... $100,000 Classrooms (12) ................................... $50,000 4 Reserved Limudei Kodesh Conference Room ................... $36,000 Tutor / Enrichment Rooms (4) ............................ $25,000 Bais HaMedrash Menorah .................. $18,000 Reserved Yizkor Plaque (2) .................................................. $10,000 Mezuza at each Floor’s Entranceway (5) ............. $10,000 Mizrach Wall Decorative Panels (12) ..... $7,200 1 Reserved Otzar Haseforim Bookcase (6) ....................... $7,200 Bais HaMedrash Bookcase (18) .......... $7,200 1 Reserved Bais HaMedrash Window (10) .............. $5,400 6 Reserved Classroom Mezuzah (12) .................... $5,400 4 Reserved Pre-school Classroom Mezuzah (6) ..... $5,400 1 Reserved Pre-School Netilas Yadayim Stations (6) ... $5,400 1 Reserved Classroom Windows (18) ...................................... $3,600 Classroom Cubbies (18) .................... $2,500 2 Reserved Set of Table & 4 Chairs in BM (50) ..... $1,800 1 Reserved Water Fountain (8) ................................ $1,800 1 Reserved Mezuza (50) .............................................. $1,800 1 Reserved Classroom Clocks (18) .......................... $1,000 2 Reserved

DONATE A BRICK FOR Join our

$500

with a permanent recognition plaque on the ‫ בונים‬wall in the lobby

For information on dedication and additional sponsorship opportunities please contact Rabbi Mordechai Stein at the Yeshiva office at 718.327.6247 ext.16 or mstein@siachyitzchok.org

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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home MAY 31, 2018 | The Jewish Home

TJH You gotta be

kidding

A few old veterans were bragging about the heroic exploits of their ancestors one afternoon down at the VFW hall. “My great great-grandfather, at age 13,” one declared proudly, “was a drummer boy in the American Revolution.” “Mine,” boasted another, “went down with Custer at the Battle of Little Big Horn.” “I’m the only soldier in my family,” confessed the third veteran, “but if my great-grandfather was living today he’d be the most famous man in the world.” “Wow! What’d he do?” his friends wanted to know. “Nothing much,” replied the vet, “but he would be 165 years old today!”

Riddle me this? A pet shop owner had a parrot with a sign on its cage that said, “Parrot repeats everything it hears.” John bought the parrot and for two weeks he spoke to it and it didn’t say a word. He returned the parrot but the shopkeeper said he never lied about the parrot’s abilities. How can this be? See answer below on opposite page

Centerfold D-Day Did You Know? The planners were particular about the timing of D-Day. They wanted a full moon, with a spring tide. They wanted to land at dawn on a flood tide, when it was about halfway in. That meant there were only a few days that were appropriate. June 5th was chosen but it had to be delayed 24 hours for bad weather. The forecast was so bad that the German commander in Normandy, Erwin Rommel, went home to give his wife a pair of shoes on her birthday. He was in Germany when news came of the invasion. The night before the landings nervous British Prime Minister Winston Churchill said to his wife, “Do you realize that by the time you wake up in the morning 20,000 men may have been killed?” Churchill wanted to accompany the invasion forces on D-Day itself, and had to be dissuaded by the King of England, who reportedly threatened that if Churchill went he would go as well. The night before the D-Day landings Supreme Allied Commander General Dwight D Eisenhower wrote a draft statement in case the landings failed which read: “Our landings in the Cherbourg-Havre area have failed to gain a satisfactory foothold and I have withdrawn the troops. My decision to attack at this time and place was based upon the best information available. The troops, the air and the Navy did all that bravery and devotion to duty could do. If any blame or fault attaches to the attempt it is mine alone.” He dated the letter July 5 instead of June 5, a simple error from a man under extreme pressure. Adolf Hitler, ym”sh, was asleep when word of the invasion arrived. No one dared wake him and it’s said that vital time was lost in sending reinforcements. With over 7,000 ships and 156,000 men landing in Normandy, D-Day was the largest seaborne invasion in history. To plan for the operation the BBC ran a competition for French beach holiday photographs. It was actually a way of gathering intelligence on suitable beaches. D-Day is simply a standard armed forces way of emphasizing a particular day. It means “The Day.” Photographer Robert Capa, who worked for Life Magazine, was the first photographer to land on Omaha Beach, on one of the earliest waves. He took over 100 photographs, but an over-excited darkroom assistant in London melted the majority of them during development. Only 11 were salvaged. Life printed them and said they were blurry because Capa’s hands were shaking with the heightened drama of the moment. Before D-Day, mini-subs crept into the beaches and by night engineers would swim out to take soil samples, then swim back, sleep submerged all day in the subs, then repeat the following evening. In 1944, by a huge coincidence, a crossword puzzle was printed with answers all containing D-Day operation “code names,” which sent England’s intelligent agency into a panic thinking their invasion plans had been discovered. Thousands of Americans died during the invasion on D-Day and the following operations. Over 9,000 American soldiers are buried at the Normandy American Cemetery, located at Omaha Beach.

The Jewish Jewish Home Home || OCTOBER OCTOBER 29, 29, 2015 2015 The The Jewish Home | MAY 31, 2018

Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Talk June Crossword Puzzle 2

Across 3. Mosquitoes 7. Flag Day 9. Helen Keller 12. Six Day War 14. Summer Solstice 15. Levi Strauss 16. Pearl 17. Normandy 18. Winston Churchill

4 5

8 9 10 11 12

Down 1. Yard Sale 2. Benjamin Franklin 4. Fathers Day 5. Rose 6. Joe Dimaggio 8. Allergies 10. Amelia Earhart 11. Finals 13. Barbeque

Answers: 15 16 17

Clues: Down

Across

1. 2.

3. 7. 9. 12. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18.

Pesky little creatures that wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t leave you alone Commemoration of our Stars and Stripes Although blind and deaf she left a great mark on the world Israel miraculously defeats its enemies on several fronts, in less than a week. Longest day of the year This nice Jewish boy makes his first pair of pants in 1850 June birthstone 160,000 Allied troops storm the beaches World leader named U.S. honorary citizen by JFK

Answer to Riddle Me This: The parrot was deaf.

Please pay for my junk This scientist proves that lightning is an electrical current in nature 4. In honor of all the great dads out there 5. Official flower of June 6. 1937, this baseball great hits 3 consecutive home runs against the St. Louis Browns 8. One reason to miss the winter 10. First woman to pilot a plane across the Atlantic Ocean 11. Year-end exams 13. Something to do on Sundays

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MAY 31, 2018 | The Jewish Home

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

Torah Thought

Parshas Beha’aloscha By Rabbi Berel Wein

uman beings are by their very nature creatures who are eternally dissatisfied and fearful. It is a rare person that, even at a joyous family occasion, can grasp the moment and fully enjoy it. Even as the bridal couple stands under their marriage canopy, observers and the families of those concerned are al-

ready fretting about what the future will hold for the young couple. Rarely can a person truly live and enjoy the present. In the Torah reading of this week the generation that left Egypt received the Torah on Sinai and witnessed all of G-d’s miracles on a firsthand basis, begins to fray and fall apart. Their

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main concern, the doubt that hovers in their minds throughout the 40 years of existence in the Sinai desert, is how they will fare when they finally reach and settle the promised land of Israel. This task appears to be so daunting that it frightens them. The reassurance given them by Moshe, that G-d will continue to perform miracles on their behalf, does not resonate with them. Their frustration will eventually burst forth in the Torah reading of next week with the story of the spies and their evil report regarding the land of Israel. The fatherin-law of Moshe himself leaves them and no arguments or persuasions can change his mind. In its way, this was a crushing blow to the morale of the

the coming Torah readings as well. They may complain about food, their leaders, and all sorts of other gnawing issues that trouble them but that is only a cover for their fear of the future and for the unknown that the land of Israel represents to them. This is a situation that exists even today in the Jewish world. It is a lack of self-confidence that we paper over with bravado. Deep down we are aware of the precarious nature of our situation and of the hostility of the world towards our state and us. To a great extent we whistle when passing the graveyard because of our lack of faith in ourselves, our future and even in the G-d of Israel. We cannot be satisfied with the moment because of our concerns, no

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That is only a cover for their fear of the future and for the unknown.

Jewish people and only confirmed their doubts as to whether they have a future in the land of Israel. In effect, the mindset of the people was that today’s miracles do not guarantee the presence of miracles tomorrow and that the land of Israel is too risky an adventure to entertain. The fear and disaffection for the land of Israel lies at the root of all of the upheavals and rebellions that we will read about this Shabbat and in

matter how unwarranted they may be regarding the future. Naturally, we are somewhat traumatized by our past and it is not a simple matter to simply ignore the problems and enemies that loom over us. Nevertheless, we are bound to rely upon our faith that all will yet turn well for the Jewish people and the state of Israel and we attempt to live our lives and order our priorities accordingly. Shabbat shalom.

The Jewish Home | MAY 31, 2018

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MAY 31, 2018 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

From the Fire

Parshas Beha’aloscha The Eyes of the Ger By Rav Moshe Weinberger Adapted for publication by Binyomin Wolf

oshe Rabbeinu almost begs Yisro, his fatherin-law, to stay with the Jewish people, but Yisro responds (Bamidbar 10:30), “I will only go to my land and my birthplace.” Surprisingly, even after everything Yisro heard and saw, even after his conversion, he still looked at Midyan as his homeland. Remarkably, we see the same expression used by Avraham Avinu (Bereishis 24:4). Even after all of the years, all of the tests he passed, including Akeidas Yitzchak, and everything else he had been through for Hashem, when he tells his servant Eliezer to find a wife for Yitzchak, he says, “You shall only go to my land and my birthplace and take a wife for my son, for Yitzchak.” When we read that Hashem commands Avraham (Berieshis 12:1), “Go from your land, your birthplace, and your father’s house...,” it sounds like Hashem told him to leave everything behind. It is therefore difficult to understand how, after going through so much, Avraham still considers Padan Aram and Charan his true homeland. Rav Yosef Dov Soloveitchik, zt”l, is quoted as saying about one who converts as an adult, “You cannot tear away a person and tell him, ‘Forget your past, abandon your

experiences, forget your father and mother, sisters and brothers, forget all the tender moments and impressions.’” A person’s childhood memories, which are some of the most formative, stay with a person through the decades and even into old age. These memories form the individual’s personality. A normal person is not a computer whose memory can be erased and reprogrammed. The lifetime of a person consists of one “stream of consciousness” and everything in it forms a “unity of personality,” according to Rav Soloveitchik. As one grows older, this tendency to remember the past returns even more as the person uses the past to find his identity, his foundation. On a halachic/metaphysical level, a convert is a brand new person, totally cut off from the past (Yevamos 22a). He is as holy, pure and equal to any other Jew, as the pasuk says in the parsha (Bamidbar 9:14), “There is one rule for you, for the convert and the native.” But the convert still remembers his life before he joined the Jewish people. Rav Ovadia Ger Tzedek, who was a great talmid chacham, wrote a letter to the Rambam, pouring his heart out about the problems he was still experiencing, even many years after his conversion. Apparently,

even such an accomplished ger tzedek was being regularly reminded of his origins. The Rambam wrote him back to strengthen him by pointing out that he was just like Avraham Avinu who chose Hashem’s path himself. He also pointed out how strongly the Torah emphasizes the mitzvah to love the convert by saying no less than thirty-six times (see, e.g., Devarim 10:19) “You shall love the convert.” Rav Soloveitchik asks why the Torah has to repeat the mitzvah to love the convert so many times. We derive many other halachos from even subtle inferences from extraneous letters. Why does the Torah hammer this point home again and again? He explains: “Apparently there’s good reason not to love him [the convert], otherwise the Torah wouldn’t have repeated it. The good reason is because half of his life doesn’t belong to us, it belongs to somebody else.” It must be that Jews’ difficulty internalizing the mitzvah to love the convert arises from feeling that this person isn’t totally “ours.” I read a letter to the editor in one of the Jewish magazines a few years ago by a woman who said she converted over 50 years earlier. She wrote in response to a well-meaning article by a rabbi in which he urged

people to overcome loneliness by recognizing that Hashem is our friend. This woman wrote that although she respected the message he was trying to deliver, the rabbi clearly couldn’t understand the experience of a convert. She explained that even though she had converted so many years earlier, even though she had wonderful children and grandchildren, some of whom were talmidei chachamim, and even though she also had great-grandchildren, she still felt alone in the world, without the deep roots, family, and communal connections that her neighbors and friends had. With our new understanding of the life of the convert, whose life is torn between two worlds, we can now understand how Avraham Avinu and Yisro, the two most famous converts in history, could refer to their non-Jewish places of origin as “my land, my birthplace” even after completely dedicating their lives to Hashem and the Jewish people. Their original upbringing was still part of them. This is also true, although to a lesser degree, with the colloquial “baal teshuva.” It is no coincidence that people like Avraham and Yisro retained their past as part of them. It was specifically because of that background that they became who they

The Jewish | MAY 29, 31, 2015 2018 The Jewish HomeHome | OCTOBER

became. It was only because of Avraham’s background that Hashem called him (Bereishis 17:5) “father of all nations.” Similarly, Yisro’s influence cast a wide net. According to Chazal (Mechilta, Yisro), Yisro returned to Midyan to convert his family and community. Because he understood the world of Torah, but also remembered the outside world, he was able to connect people to Torah in a way that others could not. Similarly, Rabbi Akiva taught us to connect to others like no one else could. He was called a “Ben Gerim” because, according to Seder Hadoros, his father Yosef was a ger. That is how he was able to lead the generation and teach us to connect to other people by teaching us (Yerushalmi Nedarim 9:4), “You shall love your neighbor has yourself; this is the great principle in the Torah.” Perhaps this is also why Moshe told Yisro, in his effort to convince him to stay with the Jewish people

(Bamidbar 10:31), “You will be eyes for us.” Sometimes when we grow up with Torah and other Jewish people our entire lives, we lose any sense of perspective about ourselves. When

see the truth about us. That is why Moshe wanted Yisro to stay, so he could be our “eyes” to help us see ourselves from a more realistic perspective.

Her words reverberated in my mind for a long time afterward. I asked myself, “When is the last time I thought that way?”

we cook in our own environment for a long time, we lose the ability to see ourselves objectively. But a ger, who looks with the eyes of the Torah, but also with the eyes of an outsider, can

I have merited to take part in the beis din at three conversions, all of which were powerfully moving experiences. Before one woman’s conversion, she was asked, as is the cus-

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tom, “Are you sure you want to do this? Things may be alright for the Jewish people now, but we are not loved; things could change for the worse and it could become very hard to be a Jew.” I will never forget her response. She answered, “There is nothing more that I want in life than to do this. I want to be a Jew even if it means that I will have to give up my life.” Her words reverberated in my mind for a long time afterward. I asked myself, “When is the last time I thought that way?” May Hashem help us merit to bring converts close, learn from them, and to gain perspective from them based on our own past while constantly growing to new levels in our service of Hashem.

Rav Moshe Weinberger, shlita, is the founding Morah d’Asrah of Congregation Aish Kodesh in Woodmere, NY, and has served as Mashpia in Yeshiva University since 2013.

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Between the Lines

Complaining Bad By Eytan Kobre

Complainers change their complaints, but they never reduce the amount of time complaining. -Mason Cooley

man once joined a monastery whose monks were permitted to speak only two words each year, and those only at a private, yearend audience with the presiding abbot. Of course, the monks were expected to use their two words to further some spiritual purpose or espouse some eternal truth. But at the end of his first year, all the man offered was, “Bed hard.” At the end of the second year, he said “Food tasteless.” At the end of the third year, “No heat.” At the end of the fourth year: “I quit.” “I can’t say I’m surprised,” replied the abbot. “Since you got here, you’ve done nothing but complain.” That must have been the way G-d viewed the Jewish people en route to the Land of Israel. The complaints were unending. They lacked fresh water (Shemos 15:23-24; Erchin 15a). The food in Egypt was better and more varied (Shemos 16:3; Bamidbar 11:4-6). They lacked meat (Shemos 16:8-12). Even the manna –

the ultimate food – wasn’t good enough for them (Rashi, Bamidbar 11:7). It tasted as the eater wished (Yoma 75a). It produced no bodily waste. It cost nothing. It required no preparation. Hey, it probably was calorie-free. And still the Jewish people complained. The complaining actually started before all that. The trend developed as early as when the Jewish people “rebelled at the sea at Yam Suf” by complaining about the accumulation of mud on their shoes (Medrash, Tehillim 106:7). Then they said to one another, “In Egypt we had clay, and now in the sea again clay; in Egypt we had mortar and bricks, and now in the sea again mortar and bricks” (Shemos Rabba 24:1). This was perhaps the greatest miracle in history, and what was their reaction? Our shoes are getting muddy? More mortar and bricks? It is no surprise therefore that the Jewish people “were like complainers bad in G-d’s ears” (Bamidbar 11:1). We are not told what the complainers complained about because, in reality, they had nothing to complain about – they simply wished to complain (Rashi, Bamidbar 11:1; Sifri, Bamidbar 84). That’s why they were “like complainers” – not bona fide complainers – as they had no legitimate complaints (Seforno, Bamidbar 11:1). Their complaints were pretext. Often, the dissatisfaction about which people complain emanates from

a deeper place – an inner void? – and the complaint is just an expedient outlet (Ma’or v’Shemesh, Bamidbar 11:1). Chronic complainers are actually unhappy with themselves, and they project that dissatisfaction in the form of unending and sometimes unreasonable complaints. They choose to complain about things that, from a different perspective, might not be complaint-worthy at all. There once was a poor man who lived with his wife and six children in a tiny one-room house, with scarcely enough space to breathe. When he could stand it no more, the man complained to his Rebbe about how miserable things were at home. “Do you own any animals?” asked the Rebbe. “Yes,” the man responded. “I have a cow, a goat, and some chickens.” The Rebbe seemed pleased. “When you get home, gather all the animals into your house.” The poor man was confused but did as the Rebbe directed. The poor man returned to the Rebbe the next day. “What have you done? Things are worse than before. Now there are animals all over the house!” The Rebbe nodded knowingly. “Go home and take the chickens back outside.” The poor man did as the Rebbe said but returned the next day. “The chickens are gone, Rebbe, but the goat

is wreaking havoc on everything in sight!” “Good,” said the Rebbe. “Now go home and take the goat outside.” So the poor man went home and took the goat outside. He was soon back before the Rebbe. “What a nightmare! With the cow, it’s like living in a barn!” “You’re right,” replied the Rebbe. “Go home and take the cow out of your house.” The next day, the man returned with a grin. “Rebbe! The animals are all out of the house. It’s so quiet and we have room to spare!” There are people who complain about everything. You know who they are. They’re at home. They’re at work. They’re your neighbors. They’re in shul. But wherever they are – and whatever the circumstances – they complain about anything and everything. This is no good, and that’s no good. You should be doing this, and he should be doing that. This should be done that way, and that should be done this way. It never ends. Now, that’s not to say that there aren’t legitimate complaints. Complaints rooted in a desire to help people, to come closer to G-d, or to right a wrong can be constructive. Those who were ritually impure and unable to bring a Pesach offering, for example, complained and inspired the concept of Pesach Sheni (Bamidbar 9:7; see Bam-

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idbar 27:4). Without complaining, one learns to accept the status quo, even when the status quo is unacceptable. Complaining can be a catalyst for progress. That’s good complaining. But when the complaint lacks true substance – when it is habitual or trumped up – the complaint is “bad” (Bamidbar 11:1). Complainers always find something to complain about. So when the Jewish people complained that they could not drink the water on their journey from Egypt to the Land of Israel “because they were bitter” (Shemos 15:23), the Kotzker Rebbe explains that the water wasn’t bitter – the people were bitter. The people complained because they had become complainers. And, of all the ill-effects of complaining, perhaps the most injurious is that complaining transforms one into a complainer. Then, as Mason Cooley recognized, it is only a matter of what to complain about, but the complaining never ends. Non-complainers, on the other hand, always find a way not to com-

plain – even when there might be reason to. A man suffering from many misfortunes once complained to his Reb-

Reb Zisha was bewildered when the disciple explained that he was referred by his Rebbe to ask how to endure suffering without complaints. “Me? How

The Kotzker Rebbe explains that the water wasn’t bitter - the people were bitter.

be. The Rebbe told him, “I cannot tell you how to cope with your suffering,” the Rebbe advised, “but the rebbe Reb Zisha can. Go see him.” When the disciple arrived at Reb Zisha’s house, he was shocked to find a dilapidated shack leaking like a sieve, with a dirt floor, no heat, and no furniture. The scene only worsened when Reb Zisha came to the door. He was covered in unsightly boils, and he was wearing rags. The disciple grew even more despondent over the pitiful scene.

would I know? I have nothing to complain about.” A Russian Jew who wanted to immigrate to Israel was summoned by the authorities for questioning: “Haven’t we allowed you the right to worship in your synagogue?” he was asked. “Can’t complain.” They pressed further. “Haven’t we let you live in peace with your fellow Jews?”

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“Can’t complain.” “Haven’t we allowed you to travel freely within and beyond your village?” “Can’t complain.” “Haven’t we let you practice your profession?” “Can’t complain.” “Then why do you want to go to Israel?” “There, I can complain!” Complaining is part of our collective identity; we kvetch (Pesikta d’Rav Kahana 17). But nothing in life is perfect. Complaining is unlikely to improve the situation, but it is almost sure to turn us into habitual nitpickers. So, when encountering life’s inevitable imperfections, it is best to do something about them. Fix them. Ignore them. Accept them. Just don’t complain about them.

Eytan Kobre is a writer, speaker, and attorney living in Kew Gardens Hills. Questions? Comments? Suggestions? E-mail eakobre@outlook.com.

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Israel Today

Outside My Window By Rafi Sackville

Penina and Yehuda Schwartz

ehuda Schwartz hails from Laurelton, New York. In the 1950s Laurelton, in Queens, was mostly Jewish. Yehuda and his wife Penina made Aliyah in the mid-1970s, which is when we first met on Kibbutz Kfar Etzion, where they still live. Yehuda has always had a penchant for animals of all sorts; he built a beautiful petting zoo and once erected a stable for some horses. He occasionally carts little critters around the country giving lectures to schools. He is also an avid birdwatcher. For years he has traveled the country with his camera and photo lenses in search of birds. I once phoned him and excitedly described two birds I had been watching from my front door. One was grey with a delightful blue streak running down its side. Yehuda patiently told me it was a jaybird. (He’s always been amused by my ignorance of the animal kingdom.) The second bird had a yellow streaked beak, brown feathers, and a

A ring necked parakeet

white patch on its side. What was most noticeable was its aggressive behavior. Each time another bird flew anywhere close to the tree it was perched in this bird would chase them away. Yehuda told me it was a Myna bird, that it was an invasive species, and that it was always up to no good, which somewhat deflated my attraction to flighty creatures. But my interest in birds had piqued and since the end of fall last year it has been focused around the berry tree growing outside the window where I sit in shul. From fall through winter the tree offers an unimpeded view of Monfort Lake and the surrounding hills. Through its slender branches I watched the construction and completion of the extreme park at the lake’s edge. As the sun set every afternoon I would catch a glimpse of the shell of the green Volkswagen that had been placed at the top of the scaffolding through which climbers crawl. It would glint in the fading light before disappearing from

view. When it did, and regardless of the month, a flock of white herons would rise from the lake and fly over my head to their resting places. It’s a relaxing serenity that brings a welcome pause to life’s turmoil. Then, just before Pesach, the berry tree came to life. The first buds sprouted quickly. The fruit soon followed and within six weeks the foliage was so thick and healthy that the lake disappeared from view. Since then my focus has been squarely on the berry tree. It shimmers in the early morning as it’s visited by at least half a dozen different species of birds. Their target is the green-red berry growing in abundance. Sparrows flitter from branch to branch looking for ripe fruit. They wrestle berry buds one at a time. Their heads are yanked back with every successful foray. There is always a flock of martins swooping around the treetops. They are like fast drivers looking for a place

to park and never quite finding a good spot. All martins and swallows are restless. It’s tiring watching them do their aerial circle work, but inspiring as well because their energy is similar to my own morning drive. The comparison lasts until late afternoon when I’m feeling tired and they are still circling my house looking as if they’re going to dive bomb with every swoop. Pigeons interest me not, those sky rats that terrorize our rooftops and persist in roosting in places we’ve even placed spikes to keep them away. One hundred years ago they were civilization’s most beloved and respected bird. These once war-time carriers of top secret documents are today unloved and despised. The smallest bird is the Palestine Sunbird. Its sleek black coat has a royal blue streak running down the outside of its feathers. It is as small as a hummingbird, but not as nimble. Of all the birds occupying the berry tree, the ring-necked parakeet is the

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015 The Jewish Home | MAY 31, 2018

most enigmatic and simultaneously annoying. Its feathers are the same color as the berry tree leaves. It’s a pale green that wouldn’t excite if it weren’t for its bright red collar and beak. It is a strong bird, bigger than all other species resting in the tree. As they perch, the branches droop and rise as if blown by a strong wind. They tear the berries loose with their beaks and can use their feet for leverage. They dominate the tree. The red-necked parakeet is not native to Israel. Their suspected origin is that they were once pets that escaped. They multiply, find a home, and realize very quickly that Israel has a lot to offer its residents. They quickly invade the homes of other nest builders, and before long they have multiplied to a point beyond return. An article in “Israel Inside” cites another source for their first appearance in the 1950s as a controlled release by the Mikveh Israel agricultural school near Tel Aviv. They improbably believed the country would benefit from

their inclusion into the environment. Let a red-necked parakeet fly wild in a field full of seeds and you can only imagine the damage they can and do cause crops. They are so aggressive they have exiled many native birds from their nests. The hoopoe, Israel’s national bird, has been particularly

car. I’ve been off some beaten tracks in my native Australia, but nothing as harrowing as the road he took us down once he told me to turn off the main road. The undercarriage of the car kept scraping rocks that jutted out of the unpaved surface like a lion’s snarling teeth. We

It’s a relaxing serenity that brings a welcome pause to life’s turmoil.

targeted and affected. This has led to a decline in their population. Not long after educating me about birds, Yehuda invited us on a field trip in search of birds. I readily agreed, although I had a feeling something wasn’t quite right when he suggested I take my

hadn’t gone more than half a mile when I brought the car to a stop and asked him what his caper was. He told me he only wanted to see some birds. I asked him if that included watching smoke curl out from under the bonnet of the car. “Sackville, you’re no fun,” he playfully cajoled.

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“Why don’t we go back and take your car instead,” I suggested. My suggestion was met with a resounding silence. Disappointed, but not dismayed, we drove back to the kibbutz where Yehuda and Penina live. There we had to suffice with photos of birds he’d photographed over the years. I no longer need to guess which bird is perching in the berry tree when I see a branch suddenly bend under weight. The parakeets are feeding at the fruit. I watch them turn their necks to rip at the berries, then stretch their wings unaware and oblivious to the damage they have wrought. They would do better in a cage, but that’s wishful thinking. Instead I turn my attention to the native warblers, sparrows, martins and jaybirds and marvel at the life outside the window. I tell Yehuda about the birds in the tree. He suggests I concentrate on my davening instead. Rafi Sackville, formerly of Cedarhurst, teaches in Ort Maalot in Western Galil.

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Living 82 74

MAY 31, 2018 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

on Har Hazeisim

A discussion with Josh Wander about living in a community overlooking Har Habayis

he view from Josh Wanderâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s kitchen window is breathtaking. While washing dishes or peeling potatoes, the Wander family is greeted by a glorious view of Har Habayis. But the Wanders are not the only ones with this treasure. Josh and his family are one of over a thousand Jews who call Har Hazeisim their home.

Recently, we spoke with Josh as he came to the United States to speak and fundraise for the community. Josh was born in the U.S. and served in the IDF and the U.S. Air Force. He has served as an advisor in the Israeli parliament and as the online content editor and political correspondent for The Jerusalem Post.

The Jewish Home | MAY 31, 2018 The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

Twenty Fourth

Annual Siyum

ozi` jxc daiyi Yeshiva of Far Rockaway

You are cordially invited to join in the celebration of our

Twenty Fourth Annual Siyum Marking the completion of Bava Metzia

oinfdl dfa micakzn eppd daiyid icinlze ixed z` epzpeky ly xeavd lk z`e epzgnya szzydle `al dxezd zgny lbxl

`rivn `aa meiq daiyid icinlz i”r d”i` miiwzzy

Sunday, g“ryz oeiq f“k June 10, 2018 12:00 PM 12:00 PM

Yeshiva of Far Rockaway 802 Hicksville Road Far Rockaway, NY 11691

d”r odkd dix` x”a sqei p”rl d”r xi`n ’x za lxrt dkln p”rl MELOHN d”r oinipa sqei oa wgvi dyn p”fl

Guest Speaker

Harav Hagaon Rav Naftali Jaeger Shlita ROSH HAYESHIVA YESHIVA SH’OR YOSHUV

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Homes overlooking Har Habayis

What does it mean, that you live on Har Hazeisim? Unbeknownst to many people – even in Israel – there is a thriving Jewish community in Har Hazeisim. On Har Hazeisim? How close to the cemetery are you located? The cemetery is all around us. You’re living in the cemetery? No, not in the cemetery. We actually have dozens of kohanim in our community but we’re within sight of the cemetery. More significantly is our view of Har Habayis. When people ask me why I live in such a dangerous community, I say I don’t know what you see when you open your window in the morning, but we have a beautiful view of Har Hazeisim outside of our window. We feel very privileged to live in such a place at such a special time; it’s pretty incredible. Why did you decide to move to Har Hazeisim? The place chose us, we didn’t choose it. I was born in McKeesport, Pennsylvania, which is outside of Pittsburgh, and I lived there until about 12 years old. I went to high school in Baltimore and then Ner Yisroel, and then after high school I went to yeshiva for a number of years in Eretz Yisroel and then basically ended up staying. I’ve lived in all four corners of the Old City. We moved to Har Hazeisim

Some of the homes in the community of Maale Hazeitim

4-5 years ago. We were planning to move to the Golan Heights to a place called Chusdin. We rented the only house available unseen and when we got there my wife took one look at the house and said there’s no way she could live there; it was in shambles. We stayed there for

and said we needed a place to live. Someone said an apartment opened up in Maale Hazeitim. I said, What’s that? They said, Come and look. And we went over there and fell in love with the place. That’s the way it works. How many families speak En-

You have the black yarmulke, the knitted yarmulke and the transparent yarmulke, but everybody is wearing yarmulkes. about a week and then found a shortterm rental in Beit Shemesh. To give you a little background, we were one of the pioneers in Ramat Beit Shemesh 20 years ago, and we knew a lot of people in the neighborhood so we rented the place over there. We found a place in Nuftza, which is another community to the south, with a beautiful view of Har Habayis. The day we were supposed to move in the current tenants refused to move out. So we would have been homeless. We frantically called our friends

glish in the Har Hazeisim community? Communities – we have five communities now. Five communities on Har Hazeisim, wow. We live in the largest community, currently with 120 families, about 1,000 people. The cemetery alone on Har Hazeisim is one of the largest and oldest in the world. It’s about 2.5 kilometers and it dates back 3,000 years – there’s a lot

of history. I give tours of the mountain every day. Who started the community? There’s actually two sections of the cemetery – one belonging to Kollel Chabad and the other Kollel Vollin. Under the Ottoman Turks they passed a law that said that you can’t bury Jews further down the mountain. These sections became dormant for about 100 years. Fast forward 100 years, the vision of Dr. Irving Moskowitz, from Florida, saw potential in this property and he purchased the properties from these kollelim and built a community out of it. In fact, I just heard a story last week which I never heard before. One of the sections was Kollel Chabad and at some point Kollel Chabad didn’t know whether they were permitted halachically to sell the property because people who purchased the property purchased it for the purpose of a cemetery, not for a community. They went to the Lubavitcher Rebbe and asked whether they were permitted to sell the property. He answered that if the people donated the money for a bais hachaim then surely they would be willing to have it for the “chaim.” And that’s how they got permission from the Rebbe and they sold the property. It was an empty lot; there were no kevarim there. We have three families in our community with the last name Cohen, so just with the Cohens alone we have quite a few kohanim, who can’t go into a cemetery.

The Jewish Home | MAY 31, 2018 OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

What makes people move to Har Hazeisim besides for the amazing view? It’s not the view as much as the location: we’re in the center of the world. Your publication is called The Jewish Home. Whether you realize it or not, this isn’t the Jewish home; the Jewish home is where we are. We feel very fortunate to be in such a special place. When people daven anywhere in the world they daven towards Israel, towards mizrach. If you daven in Eretz Yisroel, you daven towards Yerushalayim, and if you’re in Yerushalayim then you daven towards the makom of the kodesh hakedashim. It says that all tefillos have to come through Shaar Hashamayim before they go up to Shamayim, so we’re living in the place where all the tefillos are entering. It’s a very intense place, physically and spiritually. We’re rapidly growing. There’s a mikvah. In Eretz Yisroel mikvaos are built by the municipality. Our mikvah was just completed last year. The mikvah is built to serve 50,000 people, if that gives you an idea of how quickly we’re expanding. We’re in the process of building another complex across the street, another 50 after that, another 400 apartments down south, so it’s rapidly growing. As the Jews move in, the Arabs move out. We consider them a temporary population. So there’s no friction, there’s no incidents? There are; generally the population around us is a hostile population. What about on Fridays, their “holy” day? It’s not for everybody, living on Har Hazeisim, not everybody could do this, but we feel somewhat as representing the Jewish people being where we are and reclaiming this special place. If you look, a few decades ago, there were no Jews where we live. Today there’s a thriving community but we’re also connected to other Jewish neighborhoods. So, if you talk about Ir David and the Yemenite Village and Shimon Hatzaddik, all the different quarters ... the whole city. We’re a very close-knit community. We’re connected in many ways. All our children go to the same schools and we’re a very close-knit

The new shul and community center, mid-construction

community. How many shuls are there? We’re in the process of building a new shul. It’s more of a community center than a shul because it’s going to have an Ashkenazi shul, a Sephardi shul, a kollel, a kindergarten, a library and a wedding hall – so it’s much more than just a small shul. Currently there’s no permanent public shul on the mountain. We’re basically going to be the first. For the past 14 years we’ve had a temporary shul in our parking lot. There is one main shul. But not everybody has to daven at that shul. For example, on Shabbos, I don’t daven there. On Friday nights I walk to a smaller community on top of the mountain or in middle of the mountain. It’s called Beit Hachoshen. There are eight Jewish families in one building, one Jewish family in the building next to it. You’re the tenth man. Right, exactly, so we go to be their tenth man. That’s actually the best view of Har Habayis that you can get. Breathtaking. We have a unique custom there. For those that say “Lecha dodi” on Friday nights, there’s a universal custom to turn your backs at a certain point at the end of “Lecha dodi.” But we don’t turn around. The Shechina is right there in front of us, and so we stay standing

towards the Shechina. I think it’s the only shul like that in the world. Looking out the windows, you can see the azara. Do you walk with your children to the shul? Sure. It’s a ten to fifteen minute walk, if we walk through the cemetery. If we have kohanim with us we have to walk around the cemetery. Are there lights in the cemetery or soldiers to protect you as you walk to shul? There are no lights where we walk on Friday night; there are a few lights in the cemetery in general. There are no soldiers because the IDF is not in charge of security for inside what they call the Green Line, but we have border police that are around, patrolling. And during Shabbos day I walk into the Old City for davening. It’s about a 10 minute walk from our gates to the Old City. We have in our house about 5 to 10 seminary girls we host every week. They generally sleep in our house, although when people go away they give their apartments so others can stay there. We don’t lock our doors, we’re an open community like that. One Shabbos a year we have an entire yeshiva of 40 boys who come to us. Baruch Hashem, they enjoy. Let’s talk more about the shul the community is building. Tell

me what your vision is. I’m smiling because I gave a tour to a journalist a few months ago, not a religious woman, and she was doing a piece on the desecration of graves in the cemetery. Afterwards she used those words – “what do you envision in 50 years” – and my answer was that I expect to see only apartment buildings here. She looked a little bit confused and I had to explain to her the concept of techiyas hameisim, that we don’t expect to see graves here on the mountain after Moshiach comes. Our community is rapidly growing but I think the shul will be sufficient for all the communities around us for the near future. Our community was built around 20 years ago. Caravans were put up at the top of the hill 14 years ago, then they put up our first phase of three apartment buildings. The second phase of three more apartment buildings went up five years ago. Many of the core community members are students of a specific hashkafa of Rav Kook and once you’re in our gates there’s no crime, we don’t lock our doors. We have children walking around 24 hours a day unsupervised. I consider it to be the safest neighborhood in Yerushalayim. But do you have security outside the gates? I call it a gated community, my older son calls it a refugee camp – it’s a matter of perspective. We moved in four years ago, and I think we lost the keys to our front door the second week we moved in, so we haven’t locked our doors since. Most people can’t say that about where they live. We have layers of security on the outside, and on the inside everybody is armed. We’re very aware of our threats and are able to deal with them. I’m armed. I’m also a fire arms instructor so I make sure my wife is armed. My son is armed. How old are your children? I have six children. My youngest is 6, my oldest is 20. My oldest is in the army in Gaza right now and my youngest is in kindergarten. I think we’re perhaps the only unrestricted Jewish population living with a hostile Arab population around us.

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What do you mean unrestricted? Meaning, you have places like Chevron, where it’s very hostile, Jews living within a very hostile Arab population, but they are restricted to about 2 to 3 percent of the city and there’s one road that Jews have access to. Ninety-eight percent of the city is inaccessible to Jews. We have other populations like Haifa where there’s somewhat of a coexistence between the Jewish and Arab populations that live together. We live in an unrestricted and hostile Arab population and so I feel that we’re somewhat of a microcosm, a gauge of what’s happening in the country, and we feel it first – before there’s a breakout of some sort of violence in the country – we already feel the tension in the air. There’s been a definite boost in security over the years. Unfortunately a lot of the terrorists have come from Eastern Jerusalem. In the past few years, after the security wall was built, there’s been a lot less terrorists from Judea and Samaria and a lot of them have grown from our neighborhoods. So, yeah, we’re definitely in the middle of it. When you’re walking to shul on Friday night through the cemetery, do you carry the gun for protection? Absolutely. And the Arabs know that? The Arabs all know me but, yeah, they know we’re armed. You mentioned that the shul you are building will have an Ashkenaz minyan and a Sephard minyan. The shul is going to change the skyline of Jerusalem from the east. You’ll have this view from the shul, looking directly into the Temple Mount. There will be two separate shuls. The main one will be the Ashkenazi shul. And it’s going to a have a Sephardi shul and a kollel, which exists three times a week already. There are around ten to fifteen people in the kollel now. These people come from Chevron, from the Old City, from all over, to join in the kollel. They are learning Kodshim now, which is very special. Learning Kodshim across from Har Habayis is a

we don’t have access to the place of the mizbeach, it’s not really a problem. To be clear, we’re not makdish the sheep. We have it prepared in case we’re able to bring the korban. If we don’t use it as a korban – it has to be less than a year old – if we’re not zocheh to bring it as a korban, then we fatten it up for another year and we use it as cholent meat the next year. I see you’re part of United Hatzalah and Zaka. My wife and I are part of United Hatzalah, MDA and Zaka. I was the Zaka member sent up to Har Habayis last year during the attacks on Har Habayis to remove the terrorists’ bodies. A sheep for korban Pesach

different experience than learning Kodshim in – In Lawrence. Exactly. I was listening to the daf yomi this morning and I joked to Rabbi Aryeh Ginsberg, I said it’s funny to me that you’re learning this here as well, and then I recalled that the Talmid Bavli was written in Bavel so it was also

know in America because this is something they learn in school, something that’s very real to them. We purchase sheep before every Pesach, getting ready for the korban Pesach. Where do you keep the sheep? We have a place around our community where we keep the sheep. Korban Pesach has to be done in

It’s not the view as much as the location: we’re in the center of the world. written in a golus. Living where I do gives you a totally different perspective on learning. I gave a tour to a bunch of chassidish boys from Boro Park a few years ago and after the tour they said, this is amazing, this is so real, this is not even a fairy tale... And that hit me like a brick. I said, “If you’re living in Boro Park and you have the three little bears, Little Red Riding Hood and the Beis Hamikdash, that’s terrible.” We take this very seriously, we think about this every single day. With all due respect to American rabbis, my daughters know more about the korbanos and the service in the Bais Hamikdash than most people

chaburas so we have about 30 people approximately per animal, depending how large the animal is; you have to have a kezayis at least for each person. Unlike popular notion, there’s nothing stopping us from bringing a korban Pesach today. You don’t need the Bais HaMikdash, you don’t need Sanhedrin, there is nothing stopping us except for one thing, which is having access to the makom ha’mizbeach. In the years following the Six Day War, there were many rebbes that told their chassidim not to be in Yerushalayim on erev Pesach because there was concern they would be chayav kareis for not bringing korban Pesach. After a few years they realized, I guess, that since

You had to remove the terrorists’ bodies? Yes. What about the policemen? No, we treated the policemen and they were removed by ambulance. But weren’t the two policemen killed? Yes, at that point they weren’t dead, they were still trying to resuscitate them. After that, the second stage, I changed my hat from a Hatzalah member to a Zaka member and the rabbis of Zaka sent me up because I have an intimate familiarity with the mountain and there are halachos involved in going up to Har Habayis. They sent me up to move the terrorists’ bodies and that created a stir internationally. Zaka is involved in taking care of all unnatural deaths, which could be a traffic accident, a suicide, a terrorist attack... They’re specifically asked by the police to deal with this. With the terrorists’ bodies their concern is twofold: one, is that there’s going to be riots revolving around the funeral of a terrorist’s body if it’s taken by Arabs and also there’s the forensics aspect of it. They want to make sure the police have it for their investigation, so they want to have a Jewish organization take the body. What schools do the children of the community go to? We have three kindergartens in our community. At least one of them will move to the new shul building. We

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have hundreds of kids that go to school locally. For elementary school and up they usually go to the Old City, which is right across the street. The kids go by bus or get rides to school. We have a full-size bus that leaves from our community and picks up Jews from the Muslim Quarter and the Ir Dovid area and other areas. Fifty-five kids go to Har Nof every day to school. There are different options. My older kids can go anywhere in the city. They just have to take the light rail. Tell me about kids growing up in this community. How are children different here? The families themselves are different because it’s not something that’s for everybody and the kids grow up with that feeling. They are representing the Jewish people. They have an enormous expectation on their shoulders because they are really representing the Jewish people in many ways and they live through all the trials and tribulations of such a place – and they accept it with love. It makes them and their character much stronger. They’re not from a generation of Jews that grew up in exile and are afraid to walk in the street. They’re very proud Jews who will eventually be IDF soldiers and leaders of the community. Besides us, who got there “by accident,” so to speak, many of the people that live in our community are from the Old City; their families are from the Old City. The Old City has already become for the most part prohibitively expensive. Younger couples that want to live in the area but can’t afford the Old City, they move out to the “suburbs” by us. We’re actually not in Yerushalayim. There are 10 different levels of kedusha in the world. The tenth level is the entire Eretz Yisroel – sorry, the Five Towns doesn’t make it on the list. And then, after that, comes walled cities in Eretz Yisroel and then after that is Yerushalayim. Then it goes to Har Habayis, and it continues up and up and up to the highest point, which is the makom of the kodesh ha’kedoshim. We are actually in the lowest level of kedusha, which is Eretz Yisroel. So Har Hazeisim is not in Yerushalayim. Correct. It’s not in Yerushalayim.

How do we know that? Because there’s a halacha that says you’re not allowed to bury people in Yerushalayim. The Rambam says with the exception of malchus bais Dovid and Chulda Hanevia Jews were not buried in Yerusha-

and ‘67 when they didn’t allow Jews to be buried there and they destroyed over 45,000 graves. They’re in the process of restoring those today. It is literally a treasure trove of Jewish history.

Today we’re living with these nevuos unfolding before our very eyes and most people are not aware of them. layim. There are over 150,000 people buried on Har Hazeisim. You give tours to people of Har Hazeisim. There’s three different aspects we cover on tours; one is the cemetery. It dates back 3,000 years and has been used consistently for 3,000 years with the exception of 19 years between ‘48

The oldest legend’s tomb on Har Hazeisim is that of Bas Paroh – not the one who saved Moshe but the one who married Shlomo Hamelech in the times of Bayis Rishon. You have notables like the Baal Tenurah, you have the Or Hachaim Hakadosh, all the old Yerushalmi rabbanim, Rav Shmuel Salanter, Rav Chaim Berlin... You have more modern rabbis, American rab-

bis... You have Rav Sheinberg, Rav Elya Svei, Rav Hutner, Rav Avigdor Miller, Rav Shlomo Freifeld... My whole tour of Har Hazeisim takes about four hours. The second aspect of my tour goes to the times of the Bais Hamikdash, different ceremonies that were done at the time. For example, the seraifas para aduma was done on Har Hazeisim and I take them to the place exactly where it was. I show them how we know where it was from the Mishna directly across from the Bais Hamikdash. The other things, the sir hamishtalayach, which went from the Bais Hamikdash and out into Har Hazeisim to the midbar. Every Rosh Chodesh you had to let people know when Rosh Chodesh was by building bonfires. The first fire was on Har Hazeisim. It went from mountaintop to mountaintop until it reached Bavel. That was done consistently until the tzedukim messed up the process by building fires on the wrong days and we moved to a calendar system. So there are all sorts of things related to the Bais Hamikdash. I give a whole explanation of what Har Habayis is, what the Kosel is; I clear up a lot of misconceptions. I gave a tour to a bunch of boys from Brisk and they asked me in middle of the tour to stop talking. Really? Well, I started off saying you can’t learn Torah in chutz la’aretz. They were from America and I explained you can’t really learn Torah in America. I gave an example from the Gemara which is the story that every child knows of Choni Ha’magol. So most people don’t know but it was on Har Habayis that he drew a circle around himself and he said he wasn’t going to leave until it rains. Then it started to drizzle but he wanted more than that and eventually it poured down. Then the Gemara continues and says, “Vyatzu Yisroel m’Yerushalayim l’Har Habayis,” that the Jews left Yerushalayim and went to Har Habayis. I said, “Please explain to me what the Gemara means. Is Har Habayis not part of Yerushalayim? It doesn’t make any sense.” They started scratching their heads. They didn’t know. They said they have to look up the meforshim. I

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said, “Of course you don’t know. You live in Amerca. If you ask my 6-yearold daughter she’ll laugh at you and say of course she knows what the Gemara means.” So what does it mean? If you understand topographically where the borders of Yerushalayim were, down in the valley of Ir Dovid is where the people live in Yerushalayim. The rainwater started to go up, so they needed to get away from the floods and walked up to Har Habayis in order to get away from the floods. So it makes perfect sense if you understand topography. The next aspect of my tour is our current times and what’s been happening over the past three decades and the resurgence of the Jewish population in the area.

session with the Security Council because they, at least subconsciously, understand that we are actually weakening Amalek by building Yerushalayim.

At the recent opening of the U.S. Embassy in Jerusalem with Senator Joe Lieberman

What do you think about the moving of the U.S. Embassy to Jerusalem? I’m going to show you a coin. This is a machatzis hashekel coin we minted. It has Trump on it and King Cyrus and the Balfour Declaration and if you look at the back of it you can see the Bais Hamikdash on the other side. It has 3.9 grams of silver, which qualifies it for machatzis hashekel. We believe that’s what’s happening here. When I say “we” I speak about myself and many others, but there is a group that believes that this is part and parcel of the redemptive process that’s happening. The fact that Trump was elected is a miracle of itself. I mean everybody hated him from the right and the left. My wife likes to call him Achashveirosh. Because of Achashveirosh’s grandchildren the Bais Hamikdash was rebuilt. The fact that he has a Jewish daughter, the fact that he has put into his Cabinet amazing people, probably the most pro-Israel people of all time. David Friedman, he has a son in Yeshivat Hakotel in the Old City, people like Bolton... These are the most pro-Israel people of all time. Something is going on and we definitely feel that this is very significant. If you spoke to somebody 70 years ago and you told them that soon there was going to be a kibbutz galiyos with millions of Jews back in Eretz Yisroel, there’s going to be a binyan Yerushalayim with a bustling city with a million people, they would look at you like you’re insane. Today we’re living with these nevuos unfolding before our very

eyes and most people are not aware of them. It’s a miracle. We consider ourselves talmidei ha’Gra. We’re very connected to the Vilna Gaon who sent his talmidim to Yerushalayim. He actually said on the pasuk, “V’yaker Yosef es echav v’en lo hikiruho,” Yosef recognized his brothers but they didn’t recognize him. He says that when the geulah happens it’s going to be happening all around us and people are going to be oblivious to it. We believe that the geulah is happening all around us at this point. We speak about this with the seminary girls every Shabbos. I feel somewhat deceived having grown up in Orthodox communities in America. We are taught what I’ve coined the MMM: the Magical Moshiach Moment. We were all taught that there’s this Magical Moshiach Moment that’s going to happen. Moshiach will appear out of nowhere. There’s going to be a techiyas hameisim. We’ll be brought on wings to Eretz Yisroel. But I believe that’s inconsistent with the way Chazal has seen any previous or future redemptions happen. It’s clear to us that it’s a slow process and it’s happening right now and it has serious ramifications for those that live here because if you understand that the geulah is happening right now and you can be part of that process, so then you have a hard time explaining what you’re doing in the Five Towns, in Boro Park, in To-

ronto – it doesn’t make sense. It’s obvious that there’s something very special going on, we feel it where we are and it’s something we try to share with everybody we come in contact with. The Rambam says that there are three stages to the geulah. It says it has to be done in that order – the first is you have to have a king, then you have to get rid of Amalek, and then you have to build the Bais Hamikdash. I believe to a certain extent all three of these things are happening simultaneously today. The Gra understood, as many others did, that the Moshiach ben Yosef is a process, not a person. Moshiach ben Dovid is obviously a person, the icing on top of the cake. We’re at the end of Moshiach ben Yosef process. These three steps are happening as we speak. If you see it in broader terms, yimloch lecha melech, for the first time in 2,000 years we have sovereignty in our land – it’s an amazing thing – we have complete Jewish sovereignty in our land. We feel very privileged. The next thing is getting rid of Amalek. We don’t know who Amalek is today so how do we get rid of it? The Gra says that building Yerushalayim actually weakens Amalek. This is an incredible insight because you see that hundreds of thousands of people are killed around the world today and the United Nations doesn’t say a word. But if I try to build an extension next to my porch, all of a sudden they will have an emergency

That’s a beautiful concept. Rav Nachman Kahane of the Old City says that all men in Eretz Yisroel wear yarmulkes. There’s three types of yarmulkes that they are wearing. You have the black yarmulke, the knitted yarmulke and the transparent yarmulke, but everybody is wearing yarmulkes. The mayor of Jerusalem Nir Barkat wears a transparent yarmulke. He is in the process of building a cable car system which is going to bring 4,000 people an hour from the south of Jerusalem to Ir Dovid and then up to Har Hazeisim and then to the Kotel Plaza. A cable car? He’s building a cable car system. They’re also rebuilding the steps now that the oleh regel used to use. The original staircase is being rebuilt now and we see this as part of the process in order to create an infrastructure for millions of Jews that have to come to Yerushalayim three times a year. They’re not on donkeys going on dirt roads anymore. We need to have an infrastructure. Yisroel Katz, who is the minister of transportation, is also a transparent yarmulke wearer. His last name is Katz, so he’s a kohen, and since he’s a kohen he has a special relationship with the Bais Hamikdash. He’s going to make sure that the fast train they’re building from the airport to Yerushalayim will get there in 27 minutes. He’s going to make it that the last stop is being called the Kotel Har Habayis stop. If you’re attuned to what’s going on, this is clearly part of the infrastructure being built under our feet in order to facilitate the millions of Jews that will be oleh regel three times a year. Amen. Josh, it was a pleasure meeting with you. I only wish we were sitting in your home with your family, looking out on Har Habayis.

The Maale HaZeitim community is raising funds for its new community center. To donate or to learn more, contact Josh at maalehazeitim@gmail.com.

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Dating Dialogue

What Would You Do If… Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW of The Navidaters

Dear Navidaters,

Ever since our daughter Shaindy went to Israel, it seems to us that she’s taken her colorful personality and locked it in a box in order to conform to expectations that she imposed on herself. Most of her life, she was the life of the party! Fun, funny, a quirky personality, dressed with color and flair, and always full of surprises. Everyone loved to be around Shaindy.

After Israel, besides moving very much to the right, which I know is not unusual and certainly something we were very comfortable with and respectful of, and besides packing away her interesting clothing, she also packed away her individuality, sense of humor and spontaneous joy for life! She is very serious now, doesn’t believe there is room in her life for silliness, and I wonder where the former Shaindy went. We miss her and don’t understand the complete transformation. Our biggest concern right now is the fact that she is dating men who, besides wanting to learn indefinitely, are equally serious and lacking in any sort of zest for adventure and fun. This seems to be what she wants right now, but we’re concerned that the old Shaindy is still inside of her somewhere and it’s just a matter of time until it bursts free and she finds herself married to someone kind of boring, way too serious, with eight children and little joy. As her loving parents, is there anything we could or should be doing right now to protect her from this possible, scary scenario?

Disclaimer: This column is not intended to diagnose or otherwise conclude resolutions to any questions.

Our intention is not to offer any definitive

conclusions to any particular question, rather offer areas of exploration for the author and reader. Due to the nature of the column receiving only a short snapshot of an issue, without the benefit of an actual discussion, the panel’s role is to offer a range of possibilities. We hope to open up meaningful dialogue and individual exploration.

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The Panel The Rebbetzin Rebbetzin Faigie Horowitz, M.S. on’t confuse deepening religious commitment to a more stringent Torah lifestyle with a personality change similar to a cult. It’s important to sort out how much is Shaindy’s current lifestyle and how much is a change of personality and behavior. Kids do mature and achieve greater independence while in Israel. It’s a time of transition from teenage-hood to young adulthood. Many things come along with that. But a radical change of personality is something else. Maybe her choices of entertainment and clothing styles are different now. Maybe her interests have changed some-

what and she is interested in focusing on the big things in life, especially since she is probably starting to date and wants to identify her priorities for the future. You seem to be saying that she may be depressed as well as “frummed out.” What is her affect? How does she seem? This is important to sort out as the common onset of mental illness is in the late teenage years and early twenties. You need to get some other people on board to get an accurate read on Shaindy, as your take may be colored by your fears. These can be old and new mentors, your rabbi, her friends, members of her youth group, neighbors, etc. And then get yourself to a mental health professional in your community to discuss it and your reaction to what you find out about yourself and her. Deal

with this after you get an accurate picture of Shaindy and address your concerns directly with help.

The Mother Sarah Schwartz Schreiber, P.A. f you’re hoping that Shaindy will come to her senses and proclaim, “Ha, ha! Just kidding! I’m not really serious about this learning boy thing,” don’t hold your breath. You sent your daughter to Israel with the expectations that she would grow from the experience. Well, we regret to inform you that fun-loving, carefree Shaindy has matured and has taken on a more serious persona. And while you disparage her transformation from happy-golucky to contemplative, others would admire Shaindy’s disdain for silliness – especially regarding such life-altering decisions as choosing a life’s partner. Is she going through a phase? Only time will tell. One thing’s for certain, your bias regarding longterm learners (Boring? Scary scenario? Eight children?) will not convince her to see things your way. Instead, listen – really listen – to your daughter; respect the new, adult version of Shaindy. Stay loving, supportive and accessible, so that your daughter will feel “safe” and not criticized when she turns to you for advice and guidance in planning her future.

The Shadchan Michelle Mond t is distressing to realize that your spunky, upbeat, joyful daughter has lost her personality while away for the year in seminary. “Flipping out” is common, but should never lead to a personality transforma-

How long can this last before her former self, the fun loving, light hearted Shaindy, reappears?

tion, particularly not to the degree you describe. This begs the question: did anything drastic or even traumatic happen in seminary to cause this personality loss? She may not have opened up to you yet, but further probing might reveal the cause. If it truly is only based on a wrongful perception of hashkafa, buy her books about Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach and Rebbetzin Henny Machlis, a”h, who both astounded the frum world with their radiance, zest for life and positivity. Learning about them will help her understand that there is a massive place for her exquisite personality within Yiddishkeit. Most importantly, you raise an excellent concern about marriage. I agree that before even thinking about shidduchim, you should encourage her to speak to someone about her glaring change of personality. It is important that she marries someone who connects with who she truly is. Even if nothing substantial happened to cause this, it is not healthy to do a complete 180 on one’s personality in the course of a year – and certainly not to jump into dating immediately afterwards. Only after working through this, with the green light from her therapist, should she seek out a potential husband after she has balanced herself out.

The Single Tova Wein omething about your description of the before and after Shaindy sounds a bit alarming. Of course, many young men and women come back from their year in Israel appearing much more serious, hopefully more mature, and very often leaning far more to the right. All of this is to be expected. But for a young woman (or young

man for that matter) to suddenly become almost dull in comparison to their former self seems over the top and unnatural. Perhaps she was influenced in a way that led her to believe that this is the way to go. But I agree – how long can this last before her former self, the fun loving, light hearted Shaindy, reappears? It is worrisome. I’m wondering if there is a way to encourage Shaindy to hold off with dating for a little while, to see

Pulling It All Together The Navidaters Dating and Relationship Coaches and Therapists

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share your concern about Shaindy’s sudden and drastic personality change. While I have seen many young people return from Israel more serious about their Yiddishkeit and perhaps having taken on different values than their families, the return of an unrecognizable stranger would give any parent reason for pause. I gathered quickly from your letter that you are genuinely accepting of Shaindy’s strengthened frumkeit and her desire to marry a more frum man. I also gathered quickly how scared you are for her that she is lost. If I gathered incorrectly, and you have some negative, uncomfortable or unresolved feelings about Shaindy’s frumkeit, then at this point it’s time to ask yourself if any of your “stuff” is potentially responsible for some of Shaindy’s disappearance. First and foremost, we cannot know what is going on unless and until you speak with your daughter and, if warranted, she speaks with a mental health professional. The

first step is to speak with Shaindy and tell her your concerns. I f you have an open and respectful relationship, she will hopefully be able to understand where you are coming from. At this point, I would not mention her dating. That would likely backfire. The second step is to ask Shaindy that she visit her medical doctor to rule out any physiological/biological explanations for her personality change. The third step is to find a mental health professional such as a clinical social worker or psychologist for Shaindy to speak with, where she can rule out any clinical issues responsible for the change. If she does stumble upon something clinical such as anxiety, depression, a reaction she may be having to something she experienced or witnessed, she will hopefully find herself having a suc-

how she settles in, now that she’s back home. It’s possible that after a few months home, surrounded by her old life, she may lighten up a bit and resemble her old self in some basic ways. I also wonder whether you might be able to convince Shaindy to speak with a therapist to talk about her personality change – just to make sure that there isn’t anything clinical going on. Maybe Shaindy is the real deal, and her personality has morphed for good in conjunction with her more serious religious beliefs. And, if that’s the case, you’ll have to get to know the new Shaindy and hope for the best. But in case it’s just a

cessful therapeutic experience in which she works through it and learns to manage it. Let us not forget the possibility that you may come to realize through your initial talk with Shaindy, or after she works with a therapist, that Shaindy is a very healthy, very stable, very quiet and serious young woman who is perfectly content and happy and filled with purpose. There are, after all, quiet and serious types who are looking for their quiet and serious bashert. If this is the case, as hard as it may be to accept, I think it’s your best bet. And if it turns out that this was all a phase, and she meets someone during this time, and years later the old Shaindy emerges…well, there are some things that not even the most loving of mothers can stop, no matter how hard they may have tried. If you do your part now, which is talk with her and encourage her to talk to a professional, and maybe even bring up the idea of holding off on dating for a little while, all while being non-judgmental and loving, then you’re golden. Approach her with love and kindness, with an air of curiosity and genuine concern. No quips or remarks about “eight kids and no joy.” As best

Approach her with love and kindness, with an air of curiosity and genuine concern.

phase, you have some work to do to make sure that she is protected from making some life-altering mistakes.

you can, try to stay in the moment and not make sweeping statements about her future and don’t allow your fear to permeate the conversation. In terms of every-day practical things you can do while she lives in your home, I suggest spending as much quality time with Shaindy as she and/or your schedules allow. Go out to eat, get your nails done (if she does that), join her at a shiur, encourage her to invite old or current girlfriends over for Shabbos lunch, bake, get her spending time with the extended family, and create “Shaindy appropriate” opportunities for a good time. Stay connected to Shaindy no matter what. Sincerely, Jennifer

Esther Mann, LCSW and Jennifer Mann, LCSW are licensed psychotherapists and dating and relationship coaches working with individuals, couples and families in private practice in Hewlett, NY. To set up a consultation or to ask questions, please call 516.224.7779. Press 1 for Esther, 2 for Jennifer. Visit www.thenavidaters.com for more information. If you would like to submit a dating or relationship question to the panel anonymously, please email thenavidaters@gmail.com. You can follow The Navidaters on FB and Instagram for dating and relationship advice.

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Dr. Deb

What’s the Bedrock of a Great Marriage? By Deb Hirschhorn, Ph.D.

o if I were to ask any random person, “What do you think is the most fundamental part of creating a great marriage?” what do you think they would say? Here are some possibilities: • Trust • Honesty • Good communication • Respect • Compatibility • Attraction • Kindness These are all necessary – vital, in fact – but which one goes first? Looking at each of these, it is clear that you cannot remove one single item from the list. Without each item, the relationship is doomed to failure. But is there yet another one that we haven’t mentioned, one that is within one’s own power to create? Yes. The answer is that there is one quality that is indispensable to a great marriage and is so powerful that it enables the owner of it to never settle for

less than shleimus in the list above: that quality is self-love. Self-love is the engine that drives a person through the dating process in such a way that they will not accidentally choose someone lacking, say, honesty or kindness. And self-love is not narcissism, either. In fact, it’s the opposite of narcissism.

What’s Narcissism? The reality is that the narcissist doesn’t actually love himself at all. How do I know? Simple: if he did, he wouldn’t need to make a big show of how wonderful he is. He wouldn’t need to be figuring himself out so much with so much inward focus. He (or she) wouldn’t be thinking so much of himself and not you. The narcissist lacks that basic understanding of who he really is and also, therefore, lacks the appreciation for who he is. It’s not possible for him to value himself when he doesn’t even know himself.

What you see when you see the narcissist pontificating in social groups is a person who has some small attachment to some little part of himself and he draws on that to bring in from others the validation that he lacks deep inside. Using charm and dazzle, he gains what David Schnarch calls “a reflected sense of self.” This is not an actual sense of self – because, really, how could others outside of himself really know who he is well enough to let him know that? Obviously, that’s impossible. What these others do for him is react to what they see on the outside and if that outside thing looks nice, looks pleasant, or appealing, they applaud it. And that little bit what a small part of who this person is gets reflected back to the individual to make him feel good about “himself.” In actuality, it is the charm and the dazzle that the audience is responding to, not his true self. The narcissist is divided on wheth-

er to look at his real self. Partially, he wants to discover himself, as we all do. It has got to be confusing and energy-draining to be wondering who you really are. That is a huge disconnect. But the other part of him is scared to find out. This person believes, deep inside, that his real self is terribly messed up – and he doesn’t want to face that. In any case, that fear of learning who he really is is what keeps him in the game of pretending and posturing for others. So now, let’s loop back to self-love. The person with self-love doesn’t need any of that. Such a person: • Knows who he is • Values what that stands for • And therefore takes care of himself The self-care that comes out of selflove includes taking care of one’s own: • physical well-being • spiritual well-being • emotional well-being

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• relationship well-being Let’s zoom in closer on the relationship well-being point. What does that mean? Here’s some food for thought: you cannot completely and sincerely love and accept another person if you don’t first completely and sincerely love and accept yourself. Look at it this way: there will always be competition in the relationship for who gets the attention and who gets things “their way.” You can’t do both at once except in those rare occasions where both want the identical thing. So you can decide by flipping a coin, of course. But the essence of the problem is that if you don’t completely love yourself, then you feel a hole inside, a gap that you expect the other person to fill. That is the reason why there are fights. In fact, it is the only reason there are fights. All fights stem from this one shoresh. One person is feeling lacking and expects the other person to fill the void. The other person may

have some reasons not to: 1. she’s tired of filling the other person’s void and thinks it’s about time her needs got met. 2. she has a void of her own which demands filling. 3. she thinks a one-way street is a

else to love you? To make matters even worse, if you feel empty inside and yearn so badly for someone else to fill it, just exactly what do you picture yourself doing for the other person all that time? If you can’t even love yourself, how can you

After all, if you don’t love yourself, how can you expect anyone else to love you?

sign of an unhealthy soul and an unhealthy relationship and doesn’t want to be part of that. But there is a huge piece of logic missing in the notion that your own emptiness can ever be filled by another person. After all, if you don’t love yourself, how can you expect anyone

think you’ll be able to be an adequate source of love to someone else? But the opposite is true when there is self-love. There’s no void of one’s own to fill so there is no issue of counting tit-for-tat. Moreover, the person with self-love will carefully choose a person to marry who, in fact, has self-

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love – that is, a person will choose someone who isn’t needy. Those fights just won’t come up. But what if they made a mistake? Sure, that could happen; young people without much experience in life could miss some cues. However, their own self-love – which we said means taking care of their relationship well-being – would drive them to seek therapy, or, if that didn’t work, then divorce. They simply could not remain in a situation of needless pain and unpleasantness for the rest of their life. This is how self-love really works in a marriage. It cleans out the toxicity – or avoids it in the first place. It has no other choice. It’s a normal part of self-care. If you believe that this may be the root of your problem, give me a call and let’s talk.

Dr. Deb Hirschhorn is a Marriage and Family Therapist. She can be reached at 646-54-DRDEB or by writing drdeb@ drdeb.com.

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MAY 31, 2018 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Health & F tness

How to Stop Weight Gain With Age By Cindy Weinberger MS, RD, CDN

s we age, our body goes through changes, most notably, weight gain. We may find ourselves eating the same foods and exercising the same amount, yet the pounds start to add up. Why do we all of a sudden start gaining weight as we age and why is so it so hard to get rid of those extra pounds? First of all, check your surroundings. It may not necessarily be your age that’s the culprit. Did something big happen? A new job or change in a relationship can definitely impact your eating habits. These changes can affect the times you eat, what you eat, or who you eat with. It could be that your new job doesn’t give you a lunch break until much later in the day than you are used to, and by the time you get to eat, you are starving and eat more junk food. Or, it could be the person you are used to eating with had better eating habits and influenced you to eat more vegetables, and now you’re missing out on that and filling up on the wrong foods. If nothing really changed in your life, you can probably blame your age for the weight gain. As we age, we tend to sleep less. We suddenly complain of more body aches and pains that tamper with our sleeping schedule. Many also suddenly wake up at 5 a.m. and “claim” they are no

longer tired. We tend to eat more when tired and make poorer health choices. Changes in sleep patterns are associated with weight gain. Studies have shown that lack of sleep is directly linked to weight gain. Furthermore, as we age, we have a higher chance of developing other health conditions. These health conditions may require you take medications which can cause side effects. Some side effects affect your

you can still control your health and avoid inevitable weight gain. • Plan your meals • Incorporate more fruits and vegetables into your diet • Get the daily recommended amount of fiber • Cut out saturated fat and trans-fat • Limit alcohol consumption • Drink plenty of water • Eat smaller portions • Eat slowly

Changes in sleep patterns are associated with weight gain.

appetite and some may cause weight gain. Additionally, some medications or health conditions may affect your mood, thus indirectly affecting your appetite and weight. Some health conditions may also hinder your ability to exercise or require changes in your diet. As challenging as aging may be,

• Be physically active. Try to get in at least 30 minutes of moderate intensity exercise at least three times a week. Try to be as active as you can throughout the day. Take the stairs instead of the elevator, walk instead of driving, park further away from your destination... We also naturally lose muscle as we age. If you

don’t replace that muscle, the body will just have more fat. More fat in your body doesn’t just mean a fuller waistline. More fat slows down your metabolism, making it harder to lose the weight. Exercising is beneficial in all stages of life but is especially important as you age and can help with the following: • Decreased risk of Type 2 diabetes • Decreased risk of hypertension (or high blood pressure) • Decreased high cholesterol • Improved mental health • Better quality sleep • Stress relief • Increased bone density • Decreased risk of early death Aging can be stressful, but with the right mindset, perspective, and appropriate lifestyle, you can anticipate to age more gracefully.

Cindy Weinberger MS, RD, CDN, is a Master’s level Registered Dietitian and Certified Dietitian-Nutritionist. She graduated CUNY Brooklyn College receiving a Bachelor’s in Science and Master’s degree in Nutrition and Food Sciences. She is currently a dietitian at Boro Park Center and a private nutrition consultant. She can be reached at CindyWeinberger1@gmail.com.

The Jewish Home | MAY 31, 2018

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MAY 31, 2018 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Health & F tness

Jared Kushner and the Harvard College Class of 2003 By Hylton I. Lightman, MD, DCH (SA), FAAP

class reunion should be a joyous occasion. However, it seems that a cloud, or better yet, a hurricane gaining force, hung over Harvard College’s Class of 2003 recent reunion. What’s happening? Jared Kushner is an alumnus of this class and his fellow alumni are articulating their disapproval of the Trump administration by using the platform of their reunion to launch personal attacks on him. Amidst the typical class notes announcing marriages, children, career moves, volunteer ventures and the like can be found nasty comments about Mr. Kushner in Harvard’s famous “Red Book.” Harvard is big on tradition and one tradition encourages alumni to write in 5-year intervals about their lives so that alumni can stay in touch. Called the Red Book because Harvard’s official color is crimson, the Red Book is published in hardcover and distributed to alumni throughout the world. It’s not one of those books that gathers dust because it’s used for networking and other opportunities. In other words, the diatribes against Mr. Kushner are memorial-

ized for eternity in an official book that belongs to this world class institution that launches leaders in many fields spanning the spectrum of our lives. Hate on a college campus is nothing new. Nonetheless, I still have a hard time that an academic institution would include these comments in one of its official publications. The trajectory set out by these comments is a dangerous one and I pray fervently that it doesn’t go further. The attacks are especially ironic as one of the people quoted in The Boston Globe article about this hate movement said, “We should be uncomfortable with the way Harvard functions as a steppingstone for people in power who may have terrible values.” Clearly, if you’re not with this group, well, then, you are deemed to be Ivan the Terrible. Perhaps “cult” is a better word to describe this phenomenon as cults are narrow minded and punishing of people who deviate from its self-prescribed “norm.” Where, oh where, is Harvard – or any other – leadership to teach boundaries and proper ways to communicate differences? It gets worse. Preparing for the reunion about

six months ago, several class members set up a private Facebook page called “Shame on You Jared Kushner,” urging their classmates to use the Red Book as a personal platform of protest. According to the same Globe article, part of the goal is to let Mr. Kushner “know that his service in the Trump White House will have lasting consequences, resulting in his potential ostracization from a valuable network of his social peers.” The movement gained momentum when one classmate, a political commentator, used Twitter to spread the word. The postings are terrifying. They are personal. They are vicious. They come from people who are alleged “influentials” in their professional fields. And some of them are our very own. Yes, there are Jews within this “cult.” One person writes that he views Mr. Kushner’s working for Trump as a dishonor to the memory of his own grandmother who survived Auschwitz (and, unfortunately, lost nearly 40 family members). This angry soul told The Boston Globe that contributing to the Red Book is an “opportunity – and other people saw

it as well – to shame” Mr. Kushner, whom he describes as “an utter disgrace.” He adds, “This is a free country and there are going to be consequences for the way they’ve behaved during this time…They just can’t return to their old life and walk around and go to restaurants…and not get constant backlash.” Whoa. Who appointed this guy G-d? A woman who identified herself to the Globe as being Jewish said she wants to be more confrontational. She said, “He was in Jerusalem with his wife while people were being massacred… He’s a person doing horrible things…(and) I think it’s disgusting.” Horrors plague this world daily. This is not to minimize the tragedies and innocent people who are forever changed because of them and by those who are volunteer to be used in ways that are anathema to most people. The Kushners’ presence at the embassy dedication in Jerusalem is hardly relevant in relation to the growing problem of people and groups in this world that do not value human lives. Okay. So they have one opinion

The Jewish | MAY 29, 31, 2015 2018 The Jewish HomeHome | OCTOBER

and we have another. But it’s now news that we Jews are not a monolithic people. Disagreement is part of our mesora. Think of Hillel and Shammai. However, disagreement, when properly conducted, is not about disconnection or capitulation. Only 20% of Jews left Egypt all those millennia ago. That means 4 out of every 5 Jews remained behind and were not part of Har Sinai and receiving the Torah. How sad. When Moshiach comes, and I am confident that his footsteps are getting louder and gaining speed, I hope that all Jews will be there to greet him. There is good news in this scenario. The Torah given to us is relevant and meaningful here. How? In Parshas Bo, we are introduced to the “Erev Rav,” or Mixed Multitude, who joined us as we left Egypt. The Or HaChaim HaKadosh says they were spies and rabble-rousers whom Pharaoh sent to frighten and weaken our determination. The Arizal says these thorns-in-the-side of the Jews

date back to Adam HaRishon who created these injured souls through his Teshuva process. That’s beyond the purview of this piece. The takeaway from the Arizal is the Erev Rav were not spies and rabble-rousers but “unfinished Jews” who were in a gilgul to complete their odyssey to join

Differences notwithstanding, there is so much that can unite us all.

the Jewish people as complete Jews. Moshe Rabbeinu asked Hashem not to postpone the Exodus while these souls-in-progress were engaged in their journey of “Torah growth.” The Vilna Gaon warned in the 18th century that the Erev Rav are our greatest

va! e n e Ca w r F 30 k no

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enemy; they exist in every generation and we will battle them right up to the coming of Moshiach. Differences of opinion are part of life. Period. But never will I agree to the viciousness and summary judgment, especially when there’s no wiggle room for the possibility of other

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viewpoints. Despite disagreeing with these alumni, I would welcome the opportunity to host them for a Shabbos meal, replete with homemade challah and other delicacies, including a bottle of good wine. There’d be a

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vort or two about the parsha. No doubt, the discussion would be lively. Who knows what could result? Perhaps they will choose to see that differences notwithstanding, there is so much that can unite us all. In the meantime, many Jews have been educated at Harvard. Not a small number have attained wealth and/or status. Perhaps it’s time for these alumni to form a movement to reach out to the higher ups of this venerable university to discuss conducting its business differently and more responsibly. As far as Jared Kushner is concerned, may he go from strength to strength, enjoying successes in every area of his life. He’s not attacking anyone. Dr. Hylton I. Lightman is a pediatrician and Medical Director of Total Family Care of the 5 Towns and Rockaway PC. He can be reached at drlightman@totalfamilycaremd.com, on Instagram at Dr.Lightman_ or visit him on Facebook.

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MAY 31, 2018 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

A Fulfilled L fe

Communicate Clearly and Openly By Rabbi Dr. Naphtali Hoff

In a previous article about understaffing, we spoke of the importance of leaders becoming more influential to maximize their impact and get the most from their teams. In this final part of the series, we focus on the “C” of E.P.I.C.: how to communicate more clearly and openly.

ll leaders need to communicate clearly and openly. But strong communication is particularly important for those who lead understaffed teams. And great communication starts with great listening. In your conversations, focus mainly on listening rather than speaking. This will open up the communication lines and deepen trust. You may think that you are communicating well. I did, too. But the only way to know for sure is to ask. Start with this simple question: Overall, how would you rate my/our internal communication? People that I work with ask this to their people and get many responses. I help them to figure out how to process and prioritize the information that they get and develop a communication plan. A communication plan details what needs to be shared with whom and how that communication will be delivered. Lilly began as a part-time bookkeeper for a medium-sized nonprofit. After demonstrating great capacity,

she was soon promoted to the post of executive director. But when she got started in her new role, she quickly realized that there were few systems in place in her office and she needed help pulling things together. Communication in particular was weak, and the organization desperately needed a system overhaul, in terms of hardware/software and policy changes (who to reach out for various issues, reasonable timetables for responses, etc.)

scheduling (brief) weekly team meetings. Make sure everyone is on board with the team’s priorities and where their own efforts should be focused. These meetings are also a good time to recognize the progress your team has made. Use two-way feedback to help promote continued improvement, upward progress, and, ultimately, better performance. Additionally, an honest conversation where you seek and accept feedback without defensiveness or excuses builds trust and your rela-

Use two-way feedback to help promote continued improvement, upward progress, and, ultimately, better performance.

The communication plan that we developed helped information flow more smoothly through the office and to constituents both in and out of the building. Great communication also involves cross communication among team members. Get team members talking by

tionship with your team. As part of your plan, seek to cut down on time drains. Time is a most valuable resource. It needs to be treasured and used most effectively. Leaders who manage email, meetings, and other time consumers well find ways to get important information across while freeing up their people for their

most important tasks. Other ways to maximize time around the workplace: Schedule no-interruption work periods – Problem-solving and deep work demands thinking time to concentrate on tasks. Your people don’t get it when their days are packed with meetings or other disruptions. Set aside a few hours each day (or each week) as a no-meeting time. You also might suggest—and try yourself—ignoring your email and letting your phone pick up messages during that time. Plan on downtime – Workers immersed in solving some problem may not think to surface for air. But everyone needs breaks when working long hours over several weeks or months. If you make time to get out for lunch or take at least a half day on weekends, your employees will feel comfortable following your lead. You’ll all come back refreshed and better prepared to tackle the next job. Rabbi Naphtali Hoff, PsyD, is an executive coach and President of Impactful Coaching & Consulting. For a free, no obligation consultation, please call 212.470.6139 or email nhoff@impactfulcoaching.com. Check out his new leadership book, “Becoming the New Boss”, on Amazon and on the book site, BecomingtheNewBoss.com. Download his free eBook for understaffed leaders at ImpactfulCoaching.com/EPIC.

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